#also life update; im in the hospital!

[drc00l4tt4]

I kept going "oh I should post wifeborg" and then I never did

But here she is now, I love her and uh, she's really pretty

[wetslug]

.

[merverelli]

👼🗡️ toddiel, the golden sword of the inconquerable dawn. 👼🗡️

[shadowglens]

it’s been an absolutely terrible few days

[stayteezdreams]

Sorry for still not posting. Things are still a bit complicated and rough in my personal life.

xx

[sevenyeargap]

wip wehehehednesday as i try to force myself to Create again

[risingsunresistance]

i lied so hard on that old post of ppl saying they'd never been through this before and asking if it gets better and i talked about edd and said it does get better. i was 11 and did not process what happened and moved on and thought that i had "accepted it," now im 21 and actually realize what's going on and it is NOT getting better

[cheerfullycatholic]

She went to the hospital last night and they found an infection around her heart, and for doctor drama that I won't complain about, she's very malnourished and has nothing in her to fight it off (which is how it got so bad, it started off as just a small sinus infection a week ago). I have no idea if she's septic as no one who's with her is good at communicating. And she hates hospitals and death and is very scared. Please continue to pray for her

Please pray for my grandma, she's gotten really sick recently and will probably go to hospital tomorrow if she doesn't start to improve today. Thank you

[violenteconomics]

ace for the first time losing his cool and being forced to rely on the other 1st years,,, (an absolute nightmare for him, wdym ace trappola isnt in control of his emotions and how hes perceived?) im thinking maybe smh with his brother? he cares about him a tons so it probably would be him that makes ace panic sm that he cant even use his 'cool and unbothered' mask. putting this guy in situations where he has to acknowledge he actually has friends and open up to them but also feel so overwhelmed by it

PFFFFFTT OKAY I SEE YOU. anything with ace being a mess is an absolute win ❤️ anything 4 u, baby.

okay, so, here's how i imagine it to go:

ace is just hanging in the courtyard by himself, probably checking his grades on whatever portal night raven college uses for that, when he gets a text message from his dad.

his brother had an accident on the movie set he was working on, and he's in critical condition at the hospital.

which is honestly too bad, because according to nrc code, ace can't leave to go home and see him unless it's "a matter of school and personal pride". like any good nrc student, ace tries to bottle it up and go on about his day. but as the week goes on, and he gets no updates about his brother's condition, his facade quickly falls apart.

he gets in trouble for having his phone out in class — not that he can concentrate, anyway. he's handing in papers that are incomplete, quizzes that are unfinished, and you can forget about that 5,000-word essay he owes riddle.

deuce is the first to notice that something's wrong. he starts covering for ace, making excuses for why he can't come to see professor crewel "right this instant", or why he keeps missing ramshackle hang-outs. every single time his lies get more and more outlandish, ranging from "i asked him to go check on my macaroni that i put in the microwave six hours ago" to "we just saw a cow fall from the sky, yes i didn't go with him, what was i supposed to do, miss history class—" he doesn't know why ace is suddenly so quiet or so stressed, but he's not about to make it worse.

yuu notices almost immediately after deuce does — mostly because deuce is a horrible liar. and, as the housewarden of ramshackle, they start exercising their right to have ace stay at their dorm "indefinitely", so ace doesn't get bothered. ace spends most of his time on his phone, so he doesn't really do much, but at least this way, yuu can personally ensure ace sleeps and stays fed and gets off his damn phone every once in a while.

ortho is extremely adept at noticing anomalies, and it's easy to see that the silent husk that's walking around school isn't his smug, slick-talking friend. he doesn't know what's wrong, exactly, but he does know that ace isn't in any mental position to do his work. going against all academic responsibility (do not do this in real life, pls), ortho starts chat-gpting all of ace's essays and homework assignments. he analyzes ace's text messages, and asks idia to create a program for him that would allow him to copy anyone's handwriting. he then uses it to reproduce work that sounds like it would come from ace, and it's actually really convincing.

upon realizing that a) ace has moved into ramshackle and is basically catatonic, and b) yuu's meal budget is already pretty strained just feeding two people, epel decides to chip in. he starts getting even more discrete with the food he sneaks into pomefiore, going so far as to prepare meals in the gymnasium after school to decrease the probability of someone from pomefiore catching him in the act. when he can't sneak in any food, he gets a crap-ton of apple juice, shoves it into a box, and sends it to ramshackle, hoping that'll be enough to get ace through the day.

sebek starts to act as ace's bodyguard, after ace almost ran into someone while looking down at his phone, and said someone nearly slammed his head into the wall. so, sebek asks riddle for ace's schedule, and starts walking him to class everyday. he's more than a little worried about his tiny human friend, who goes about his days with glazed eyes, flat expressions, and one-word responses, but he's hiding it very well. /sar

jack doesn't get nearly as involved as the others with ace's sudden uncharacteristic behavior, but he does still worry for his friend, his ears drooping down whenever he sees him. he offers ace moral support and words of encouragement where he can, but mostly he's forced to sit back and watch as the vibrant reds that encompass ace's natural aura begin to gray. and he doesn't like it one bit.

the turning point comes in ramshackle dorm. all of the first-years have gathered for their weekly hang-outs, but it's more awkward than usual without the presence of a certain red-head that exudes talkative energy. everytime deuce goes to tap ace on the shoulder, or ortho goes to sit down in ace's lap, or jack's tail wags to the point where it's almost thumping against ace's back, they all stop midway through, because ace is clearly busy...

then, two stifling hours later, ace starts crying.

sebek frantically asks what's wrong, but ace is full-on sobbing at this point and finally drops his phone.

ortho wraps his arms around him, unsure of what else can do.

jack picks up ace's phone, eyes widening as he backlogs through ace's messages to his dad, and realizes exactly what's been bothering ace this whole time.

(needless to say, there are a lot of cuddles in ace's future, and a lot of screaming and cursing in crowley's.)

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Your Teddy - Theodore Nott x f!reader (PART 3 & END)

Requested: No

Pairing: Theodore Nott x f!reader (+ SPOILER x f!reader - secret and non-reciprocal.)

Summary: y/n gets adjusted at her new life with Theo's help.

Word count: 6.2K

Warnings: swearing, English is not my first language

A/N: Thank God one of my classes on Wednesday was online and the other was cancelled otherwise I don't know when I could have written it lmaooo. ANYWAY. Thank you guys so much for +270 followers, love y'all!! Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it! xx

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist

Tag list for this story: @veryberryjelly @revesephemeres @mgchaser @nojamsonmytoast @cometmultiverse

PART TWO

“Darling?” your mother calls from downstairs. “Dinner is ready!”

Putting your book away, you rose from your bed and let out a silent sigh. The day after your conversation with Theo, your parents insisted you get home to rest, and, while you didn’t want to leave Hogwarts, they seemed to want you with them so bad that you had reluctantly accepted. You had now been home for over two weeks, two weeks spent reading books to learn some things and reading letters from Pansy and Theo. While Pansy’s letters were enjoyable and kept you updated on classes and the current gossip at school, you had to admit you awaited for Theo’s letters the most. He wrote to you about his daily life, sometimes making you laugh with a joke or when he told you about what funny thing one of his friends had done or said, and always ended the letter with the same sentence: I miss you. Those words shouldn’t make you feel the way they did, but they did; and you shouldn’t be missing Theo that much, but you were. 

From the moment you saw him, Theo had captivated your mind. You didn’t know if it was the way he had hugged you when he stormed in the hospital wing, the way he looked at you with those blue eyes of his, or just him, but ever since you had seen him in the hospital wing, you had a hard time not thinking about him. When you had realised what having lost all your memory meant, you were scared some people would lie to you or pretend to be someone they weren’t, but for some reason you knew Theo hadn’t lied. You had felt incredibly guilty when you saw how hurt he was when he learnt you didn’t know who he was - and still felt that way. But now, you also wanted to get to know him, and to spend time with him. There was something about him that just drew you towards him. It was partly physical, because, well, he was gorgeous, but also in his personality, how soft his voice was when he was talking to you, how patient and understanding he was, and how he made you feel safe without even trying. And now, after three weeks of only writing to each other, you couldn’t wait to see him again - but never dared to say it. I’ll try to tell him I miss him in my next letter.  

Leaving your room, you went downstairs to find your parents around the table, your mother bringing dinner to the table and your father finishing to set the table. They immediately smiled at you, and you smiled back. Your parents had been nothing but kind and understanding during your stay, but they constantly tried to make you remember things, so much so that you started to feel a bit overwhelmed after a while - which was another reason you couldn’t wait to go back to Hogwarts. 

“Got some rest, darling?” your father asked, sitting on the other side of the table.

“I hope you don’t overwork yourself, sweetie,” your mother continued. “You’re here to get rest and recover.” 

“I’m fine,” you assured them with a smile, sitting down.

“Are you sure, darling? I have to say, you look a bit tired.”

Your mother was right, and there was a reason for that fatigue. Each night, you had terrible dreams about your abduction - dreams or memories, who knew? - and you were now almost afraid to sleep. Like you had told Theo, you were thankful you didn’t remember anything about your kidnapping, but having those dreams brought you a bit of anxiety. You hadn’t told anyone, because you were scared that your parents would freak out, and didn’t tell Theo in order not to bother him. You ate your plate, not saying a word as your parents talked about everything and anything. Once you were done, there was a moment of comfortable silence, and you cleared your throat. 

“I have something to ask you guys,” you said. 

“What is it, dear?” 

“I’d like to go back to Hogwarts,” you answered, not beating around the bush. “I think I’m fully recovered now. It was nice being here, and I appreciate everything you did for me, but I think it would be good for me to go back to school.” 

Your parents shared a look, and for a second you thought they were gonna insist you stayed here.

“If that’s what you want, y/n,” your mother said, “then we support you.”

“We’ll write to Professor Dumbledore tomorrow,” your father nodded. “It will be good for you to be with your friends again.” 

“And Theodore,” your mother added with a wink. 

You felt your cheeks becoming pink and looked at your plate.

“He’s a good lad,” your father smiled.

“I hope you guys will…find a way to get back to the relationship you had,” your mother said gently. “You loved him a lot.” 

You nodded, and after a long moment of your parents telling you stories about your childhood, you decided to bid your parents goodnight - which always included a hug - and went back upstairs to your room. You lit a candle, as it was dark outside, and sat down at your desk before grabbing a piece of parchment, a quill and some ink. 

Dear Teddy, 

I was supposed to stay a little longer with my parents, but I really want to go back to Hogwarts now. My parents will write to Professor Dumbledore tomorrow, and I hope to be at school in the next few days. 

I miss you.

y/n

You then turned to your owl, who apparently had the habit of going to sleep at the same time as you, who made a small noise as if to greet you as you opened its cage. 

“Can you take it to Theo?” you asked your pet. 

You gently stroked its feathers, and then your owl took the letter and flew across the opened window. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You stepped out of the chimney, and, as expected, found yourself in Professor Snape’s office. He was sitting on his desk, apparently grading students’ work, and barely raised his eyes to look at you.

“Good evening, Professor.”

“Miss y/l/n. I hope you’re fully recovered.”

His last words surprised you, as you had found him cold and severe during the few minutes you saw him in the hospital wing. 

“Yes, thank you, sir.”

“Then I shall see you in class.”

“Yes, sir.”

Carrying your luggage, you left his office, and, as you expected, you found Pansy waiting for you in the corridor. She immediately opened her arms and almost ran to give you a hug, which you gladly accepted.

“Aw, darling, I’m so happy you’re back! How do you feel?”

“I’m good.”

But your attention was on the person behind her. Theo was leant against the wall, his hands in his pockets. You detached yourself from Pansy, and Theo and you started to walk towards each other. You felt your heart beat faster, and it even beat faster when Theo gave you a small, shy, smile. Did I feel that way before?

“Hey.”

“Hey. It’s nice to see you.”

“You too.”

It was a bit awkward, as neither of you knew what to do - a hug? A kiss? - but Theo stared at you for a second before stepping closer, gently cupping your face in his hands and kissing your forehead. You closed your eyes, enjoying his touch and his lips on your skin much more than you thought. After the kiss, his hands remained on both sides of his face before he took them away, and you felt disappointed and sad.

“Thank you for your letters,” you said. “I really enjoyed receiving them.” 

“I liked your answers, too,” he said. 

You smiled at him, and suddenly Pansy chuckled.

“Come on, you bloody lovebirds, let’s go.”

You and Theo shared an amused look before you all went to the Slytherin common room, which was near. 

“We should go get dinner,” Pansy said. “y/n, dear, how about you put that luggage in your bag and you’ll unpack after dinner?”

“Alright,” you nodded.

After all, you were hungry too. Pansy led to your dorm, as you honestly didn’t remember where it was, and you put your luggage inside before going to the Great Hall alongside Pansy and Theo. On the way, Pansy kept talking about all that happened while you were gone, but only heard half of it as your hand kept touching Theo’s, which made you somehow want to hold it - or at least to have some physical contact with him. I’m going crazy, you thought. Why do I want to touch someone who’s still a stranger? 

Once in the Great Hall, you sat between Pansy and Theo, who introduced you to his friends, who all greeted you warmly. You looked around, trying to familiarise yourself with the large, beautiful crowded room. As you had lived in a quiet house for weeks, all the noise around made you feel uneasy and comfortable. Only Theo seemed to notice, as he grabbed your hand under the table. You turned to him, and found him giving you a reassuring, warm look. You squeezed his hand, both to show thankfulness and affection, and he gently stroked the top of your hand. You started to feel better, and focused on the conversations the boys were having. You didn’t participate in it, as you had ho idea what they were talking about half the time, but you laughed at their jokes - and, with each laugh, Theo and you shared a look. Once you were done eating, Pansy and you decided to go back to the common room - as it was still too early to go to bed -, and the boys followed. After sitting on one of the green couches, again next to Theo, for two hours spent listening to the boys, sometimes talking to Pansy and again feeling the push to touch Theo’s hand. As it was now getting late, the boys started to go to bed, as they started classes early tomorrow, but unlike earlier, Theo didn’t hesitate to once again cup your face in his warm hands and kiss your forehead, but this time, you got on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Good night, Teddy.”

“Good night, cara mia.”

You blushed at the nickname, before following Pansy - whose dorm was not far away from yours. 

“I promised to spend the night with Daphne,” Pansy said, apparently feeling guilty. “Her dorm is the one next to yours, so I won’t be very far if you need me, okay? You got along very well with Daphne before your…um, departure. She won’t mind at all.”

“Don’t worry about me,” you said. “I’m actually tired, so I don’t think I’ll have a hard time falling asleep.” 

“Alright.” Pansy hugged you, “Sleep well, dear.”

She gave you one last hug before entering Daphne’s dorm, leaving you alone in the silent corridor. You went into your dorm, closing the door behind you. You looked at the unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar objects. It felt as if it all belonged to someone else. Trying to ignore the feeling, you unpacked your bag, went to take a shower and then went to bed. Tomorrow, Pansy would give you a list of all the things they saw in class while you were gone and it was going to take you a while to catch up on everything - and if you didn’t manage to, it was going to be even harder to pass your exams at the end of the year. 

���⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“y/n, wake up! Come on, wake up!”

You jolted awake, trying to catch your breath. The dark, cold room and the unfamiliar voices that had been plaguing your sleep were still fresh in your mind, and your first reflex when you felt two hands on your shoulders was to try to pull away.

“Amore, it’s me!” 

It took you half a second to realise you were in your dorm, safe, and that it was Theo in front of you. 

“Teddy?” 

He nodded, and sat on the bed. “I had the feeling I needed to check up on you, and when I came you were having a nightmare.” 

He started stroking your shoulders with all the tenderness in the world, and, almost without realising it, you put your head in his chest, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close as he could, and put his chin on the top of your head.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here.” 

He pressed a light yet tender kiss on your temple and your heart, which had been beating very fast from waking up so abruptly, starting beating normally. After a while, you felt better, and not once did Theo move. 

“Thank you, Teddy,” you whispered.

“Of course, tesoro.”

Despite wanting to stay in the comfort of his arms, you detached yourself from him, but he kept one of his arms around you. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his thumb stroking your skin.

You shook your head, and he gave you a nod. 

“I don’t remember much,” you said. “But… Teddy?”

“Hum?”

“Would you…Would you mind staying here with me?” you asked more shyly than you thought.

Theo looked at you and had a soft half smile. 

“I’d like nothing more, love.” 

He bent to press a kiss on your temple and you moved to the side of the bed to give him as much space as you could. Once he was ready, he gently brought your head to his chest before putting one arm around your waist and the other in your hair. Instinctively, you put one hand on the side of his neck, and after a short moment, you felt your whole body relax. You closed your eyes, and suddenly realised Theo smelt amazing.

“You smell good,” you whispered without thinking.

He had a chuckle, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You used to tell me that often,” he said. “But thank you, cara mia, you smell good too.”

He started playing with your hair, and you fell asleep to the beating of his heart and his warmth.

When you woke up the next morning, your head was in the crook of Theo’s neck, and one of your legs was over one of his. His arms were still tightly wrapped around you, and, looking at him, you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he looked when he was sleeping. You put your head back, wanting to enjoy the comfort of his warm embrace for a moment, but you realised it was time to wake up. You pressed some kisses on his cheek, and after a while he started slowly moving. 

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

He groaned before he finally opened his eyes, and his lips immediately turned into a smile. He looked at you for a moment, and brought his hand to your cheek.

“I almost forgot how good it felt,” he said almost to himself.

“What?” you frowned. 

“To wake up with you in my arms.” 

“It feels good too,” you whispered, caressing his hair. “And I know it felt good before my abduction.” 

There was no way it didn’t feel like that before. If only I could remember…

“We should get up,” you said.

He nodded and had a small sigh, “Yeah, we should.” But then he smiled, “But five more minutes, please?” 

You laughed and nodded.

“Alright, five more minutes.” 

But, as you should have expected, five minutes into ten, then twenty, and finally thirty before you managed to have him let you get out of bed. You rose from the bed, which made him groan in annoyance, and as you went to the bathroom to get your school uniform, you turned to the bed, where Teddy hadn’t moved.  

“Teddy, come on!” you laughed.

“You know, cara mia, no one would mind if you only started class tomorrow.”

You know he was likely to be right, but you shook your head.

“Maybe, but I have enough to catch on already. I can’t afford to be even further behind.”

“I’ll help you,” he said, sitting. “You were always a very good student, why shouldn’t you be now?”

“Maybe I was, but now it’s different.” 

Teddy stared at you, and you immediately knew what he thought. Yes, it is different now.

“I can still help you,” he said.

You nodded, “I’d love that, Teddy.” 

He finally got up, and agreed to go dress up in his dorm when you asked him.

“We’ll meet in the common room in five minutes,” you assured him. 

And as promised, you met there five minutes later, both all ready for the day. It felt a bit weird to be in a uniform, but you did your best to ignore it. After all, everyone was wearing it. Theo and you sat again with his friends and Pansy, who immediately asked you how was your night.

“Oh, really good.”

You and Theo shared a look and you felt yourself blush. 

After breakfast, you walked with Theo to class, with him sometimes giving you information about the castle, or something you saw. On the way, some students came to you to tell you they were happy to see you again, and each time, you felt thankful but awkward. But thankfully, Theo didn’t leave your side once, and always let you know who the person was - friends for the most part. They were Slytherins for most, but as you came closer to class, it was a Gryffindor boy, with dark hair, green eyes and glasses, who approached you.

“y/n? Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” 

You noticed the strange scar he had on his forehead, but it felt impolite to ask him about it. 

“Back off, Potter,” Theo said coldly. “We don’t have time for you.”

“Teddy, don’t be rude,” you frowned.

“I was just asking how she was,” the Gryffindor boy said calmly. “I wasn’t talking to you.” He turned to you with a kind look, “I’m glad to see that you’re alright. But…You really don’t remember anything?”

Theo opened his mouth to answer but you were faster.

“No, unfortunately. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?” 

“Harry,” he simply answered. “I’m Harry. We…” 

This time, Theo sighed.

“It is really kind of you to ask how my girl was, Potter, but if the Chosen One will excuse us, we’re gonna be late for Potions.”

He put an arm around your waist, and before you could say anything, led you to the end of the corridor. You gave Harry a look of excuse, but he only stared at you.

“Teddy, that was rude,” you said as you entered the Potions room. “He was nice.”

“Not all people are as nice as they look, love,” he simply said and you rolled your eyes. 

“But, if he asked me how I was, he must have been a friend, no?”

Theo had a small, annoyed sigh. “That’s a big word. But your closest friend is Pansy. And also Daphne, I guess. If you need more friends, ask Pansy to introduce you to girls from our house. Or at least, who aren’t in Gryffindor.” 

Theo indicated you a seat in the middle of the class, and sat next to you.

“By the way,” you asked, “what is that strange scar he has?”

Theo sneered, “Long story.”

You were about to ask him when Professor Snape came in, and all conversations faded at once. He gave instructions for the rest of the lesson, and you and Theo worked on the potion. You laughed a few times because Theo couldn’t stop making jokes. Snape eventually noticed and came over.

“Mr Nott, do focus on the potion. Miss y/l/n needs to concentrate if she wishes to get back to the same level as the rest of the class, and I think your immature foolishness will make it harder.”

“We’re sorry, professor,” you apologised. “I was a bit nervous, as it is my first class since I got back, and Teddy was only trying to help…in his own way.”

Snape stared at you both and left without a word. Theo and you looked at each other and had a hard time not laughing.

“Dumbledore must have asked him to be nicer to you,” he whispered as he stirred the potion. “Usually, we would have got detention. Or at least a threat of it.” 

The rest of the class went smoothly, and so did the rest of the day, with all the teachers telling you they were there if you needed anything, and helping you if needed. As the last class of the day ended,  you put your book in your bag and rose from your seat. Theo did the same, and you started walking to the door, but Theo didn’t move. 

“Pansy and I need to talk to Professor McGonnagall,” he said. “It’s gonna take a while,” he sighed. “Hey, how about you go to my dorm - it’s the first one after the serpent symbol - and eat the snacks I left there? You used to like them.”

You were a bit surprised, but nodded. You left the class, and walked down the corridor when you heard a voice from your left side.

“y/n!”

You turned your head and saw Harry in a smaller, darker corridor. 

“Harry?”

“Can we talk?” 

Your eyes went to the door of the class, where Theo still was.

“Sure.”

You walked to place yourself in front of Harry, and you noticed he looked at you strangely. 

“I’m sure you’ve been asked this several times, but you don’t really remember anything about your abduction?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Nothing.”

You could have talked to him about the nightmares, but if you didn’t tell Theo, the person you were the closest to at the moment, why would you talk to a stranger about it?

“And,” Harry continued, “what did they tell you about it?”

You frowned, trying to remember the first conversation you had with Professor Dumbledore. “Well, they said I went to, um, Hogsmeade, I think, alone, and that’s where I was last seen. Apparently I was kidnapped because my parents work at the Ministry. They also don’t know where I was being held or how I escaped.” 

Harry thought for a second. “And what did tell you about the Death Eaters?”

You frowned again, “Not much, only that they worked for someone with bad intentions. But I’m aware I was likely interrogated and tortured, though. Why?”

“Nott,” Harry said. “His father used to work for that ‘someone with bad intentions’. Malfoy’s father too. Oh, and, Nott’s best mate Riddle, he’s the son of that someone.”

You tried to register his words. Theo’s father? You knew Theo did not see him much, and never thought much about it. Draco? Who has been nothing but polite and kind to you? And Mattheo, the funny Mattheo who constantly teased Theo like a brother, and was friendly and warm? After all, you didn’t know any of them. For all you knew, they might have lied all along. 

“You…think they know something?” 

Harry shrugged, “Who knows. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t trust anyone. I…just want you to be safe, okay?” 

He opened his mouth to say something else but kept silent. 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m here if you need anything.”

You nodded and after giving him a polite smile, you went back to the corridor, and walking down it, you ran into Professor Snape.

“Miss y/l/n.”

“Sir?”

“The Headmaster wishes to see you in his office at once. Please follow me.”

You nodded and followed him through numerous corridors. He made you enter a beautiful room with several windows, where the Headmaster was waiting for you. 

“Professor, Miss y/l/n.”

“Thank you, Severus. Please, Miss, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable.”

You approached his desk, and sat on one of the large grey armchairs - which were far more comfortable than they looked.

“If you allow me, Miss, how do you feel?”

“I’m well, thank you, sir.” 

“And how was your first day here?”

“Very good, sir. I’m glad to be back in class with my classmates.”

 “Good, good. And, one last question, did any of your memories come back?”

You shook your head, “No, sir. I tried to remember anything, even small things, but in vain so far.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I expected it, do not worry. However, if I made you come here today, it’s not only to make sure you are well, but also, giving your answer to my last question, to tell you there is maybe a way to find your memory back.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Really?”

“Yes. Please, come”

You rose from the armchair and followed him to a small, beautiful basin you hadn’t noticed. 

“This is a Pensieve,” Dumbledore said kindly. "If I put a memory inside, I can watch it. Even the details I don’t remember will be there. However, in your case, I have a bit of hope that, if you put your head inside, you might find your memory again, or at least some of it.” He paused before continuing in an even kinder voice, “But if you do not wish to try, I will not force you. All you have to do is to say ‘no’ and I walk you to the door and wish you a good evening.”

“I want to try.”

For me, and for Teddy. He deserves it. 

And also to see if they’re all lying. 

Dumbledore smiled, “I’ll admit I’m happy to hear it, young lady. So, whenever you’re ready…You will just need to hold your breath for a moment…"

You nodded and walked to the basin, putting both your hands on it. You held your breath, and, having the reflex of closing your eyes, put your forehead forward in the liquid. Your eyes opened by themselves, but no memory came. No scene with your parents when you were a child,, or here at school with Pansy or Theo. The liquid seemed to move a little, as it was being stirred, but eventually, all you saw was white. You waited for a moment, before going back to the surface. You breathed again, and realised, stupidly, that you weren’t even wet. 

“Nothing, sir,” you said, feeling ashamed as if you had failed an exam or didn’t understand something that even a five year old got. “There was only white.”

The Headmaster nodded, “Yes, so I thought. Trust that I’m sorry, Miss. But I will continue looking for a remedy. In the meantime, if your friends or Mr Nott want to show you a memory they have, my door is always open.” 

“Thank you, sir.”

“I believe it is now time for me to wish you a good rest of your evening.”

“Good night, sir.”

You left the office and, after getting lost a few times, managed to finally find your way to the Slytherin’s common room. You heard familiar voices as you came in, and several faces immediately turned to you.

“y/n!” 

Theo and Pansy rose from the green couches and almost ran to you.

“Where the hell were you?” Theo asked in an angry voice. “We searched for you everywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, not expecting him to behave like that, “I was with Professor Dumbledore, he wanted to see how I was doing.” 

“Oh,” Pansy said. “That explains why we couldn't find you. Well, I have to go to the library to do some homework, so I'll see you both later.”

After Pansy left, Theo took your hand and gave you a large smile.

“I have a surprise for you, amore. In your dorm.”

“A surprise?” you said with a smile. 

“Yes,” he laughed. “Pansy and I actually didn’t have anything to tell McGonagall, we just needed to make sure everything was ready. That’s why I asked you to leave. Come on.”

His hand in yours, he led you to your dorm, where he slightly opened the door. 

“Close your eyes, love.”

A smile on your face, you closed them, and Theo put his hands on your shoulders to lead you in, and once you were inside, he put them around your waist. 

“You can look, baby,” he whispered in your ear.

You opened them, and saw the room had completely been transformed. There were flowers and at least thirty small lights in the air (A/N: Like in Disney’s “Tangled”, except it’s not lanterns) all arranged in a precise manner alongside shooting stars, and on your bed were several snacks and several presents. 

“Teddy! It’s so beautiful!” you said, and, without thinking, kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m glad you like it, cara mia. Come.”

The both of you sat on the bed, and he presented all the snacks - and the drinks - he had brought.

“I only took your favourite,” he smiled. “I can’t wait for you to try them.”

The feeling of guiltiness you had when the Pensieve didn’t work came back and you sighed. Maybe I can at least tell him that I tried somehow… 

“I tried,” you said. “In Dumbledore’s office. He…tried to make me remember, but…nothing came. I’m sorry, Teddy. I really want to remember, I promise you.”

“Amore, don’t be sorry,” he cupped one of your cheeks and pressed a kiss on it. “I know you would do anything to remember. And I know it’s not your fault.” 

You nodded before clearing your throat. “Teddy, I…I have a question.”

“Go ahead, amore.”

“Is it true your father used to be a Death Eater?”

Theo looked at you for a while, with both surprise and confusion.

“What? Who told you?” 

You hesitated, but decided to be honest. “Harry. He came to talk to me after class, and…”

“God damn it!” he said, angry now. “This little fucker always have to ruin things. Ever since we got together, he always tried to put ideas into your head.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “y/n, look, it’s true my father used to work for You-Know-Who, but I don’t know if he went back to him after his return, and I don’t care! He could die and I wouldn’t care! I don’t care about him, what he does or what he believes in. All I care about is us and, well, my friends, but I don’t give a damn about anything else!” 

“Teddy,” you said, “I know you care! I’m not saying you’re like him, but maybe through your father and Draco’s, we could find a way to find out who abducted me.”

Theo looked at you, apparently thinking. “We could try…But even if my father or Draco’s father or even his aunt know something, I don’t see them telling us anything unless we use Veritaserum. And we would have to wait for the next school break to ask them.” 

“I can wait,” you say. 

Theo sighed, “If that’s what you want, we’ll make a plan. But, tonight, can we just celebrate being together?” 

Both his voice and eyes were pleading, and all you could do was nod.

“Of course, Teddy.”

He seemed to relax, and, one by one, handed you the presents. There were books, an album filled with pictures of you and Theo, a small book where Theo had written all your memories together, and, to finish, some jewellery - a gorgeous necklace with a heart-shaped diamond, a ring with a small white flower on it - and you thought there was no more gifts and was about to give him a “thank you” kiss on the cheek but Theo took a small grey bag from his back. 

“This one is special,” he said before handing it to you.

You took it with a smile, and opened it. There was a beautiful, small bracelet inside. You took it out and was about to put it on when Theo reached a hand out.

“Do you mind if I put it on your wrist?”

“Sure.

You gave him your wrist and he put the bracelet, but he didn’t let go of your wrist, looking instead at it and caressing it with his thumb. 

“This bracelet is different from the other gifts,” he said. “I gifted it to you on our first anniversary. It has never left your wrist ever since, except once.” You frowned and he looked at you, “when you got abducted, you lost it. I found it on the ground when I was looking for you, and I knew something was wrong.” 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “Your absence was killing me, cara mia. We were never separated since we got together, you know. Even during school breaks, you invited me to your home. Not only that, I didn’t know where you were and could only imagine what you were going through. Even my dreams were filled with nightmares of you facing unspeakable things alone. I couldn’t think of anything but you and how I missed you. I stopped going to class and going down for meals. I would have done anything to get you back, you know? I know I’m still a stranger to you, y/n, and it’s probably too early, but I love you. More than anything, more than my life. You’re all I have, you know? My mother is dead, my father doesn’t give a damn about me. Sure, I have my friends but you…God, y/n, you’re…everything. All the joy and happiness I have, I owe it to you. You taught me to be kinder with others but also with myself, and to have faith in me and what we had. I never took you for granted, and it hasn’t changed. But now, I can’t stand to be apart from you. I totally understand if you want to take things slow, and I will earn your trust and love again, but, please, just…just give a chance, amore. A chance to show you why I’m your Teddy and why you’re my y/n, and to make up for the time we lost. That, even if you don’t remember it, there is a reason why we were together. If you never get your memory back, it’s fine, I’ll spend hours telling you about every moment we had together in detail, and we’ll create new happy ones. I…love you, y/n.” 

After his last words, there was a silence and you could almost feel the weight of his words sinking in, going straight to your heart. That’s when you realised the attraction and the pull you had felt towards him from the moment you saw him was completely normal because Theo, with his large blue eyes and his adorable accent, was your soulmate. There was no doubt why you had loved him. Unable to say a word, you brought your hands to his cheeks and kissed him. The surprise caused him to not kiss you back immediately, but once he did, it was with all the longing he had felt ever since you had disappeared. One of his hands found your waist while the other was on one side of your neck. Your heart started beating faster and you felt something in your stomach before, all of a sudden, you felt as if you were struck by lighting. Your eyes opened by themselves, and images came rushing into your head. 

You playing with your parents as a child, buying your wand, being sorted into Slytherin, your first conversation with Theo and Pansy, all the classes and exams, your time spent with Theo before you guys dated, the moment you realised you were madly in love with him, your first date and first kiss, all the times you guys cuddled, the first time you spent the night loving each other, and, finally the last time you saw him before your abduction. Then, memories of a dark, dirty room and people wearing black pointing their wands at you, screaming in pain as you swore you didn’t know anything, and then, finally managing to escape and run back to the forest where you passed out. You felt tears coming out of your eyes, and broke the kiss.

“I love you too, Teddy. More than anything,” you whispered. 

He frowned, full of confusion, and you stroked his cheeks. 

“I…I don’t know why, but the kiss, it brought back all my memories back. Our first date was a picnic near the lake, right? That’s when we had our first kiss.”

He didn’t say anything but nodded. “You…You remember.”

It was your turn to nod before hugging him, stroking his hair and inhaling his comforting scent. 

“It’s the bracelet,” he suddenly said before breaking the hug. “When I bought it, the man at the shop told me it had magical properties, but I didn’t listen. I was late for class and wanted to have time to create a surprise for our evening. Maybe it remembers its owner?”

“Maybe,” you agreed. “But whatever it did, I’m glad you decided to give it to me that day. I always saw it as a symbol of our love, and now I truly believe it is.”

Theo nodded and you stared at him, admiring how gorgeous he was.

“I love you,” you said, “my Teddy.”

He kissed you again, this time with passion, and you knew this night was the first of many beautiful new memories together. 

(A/N: The bracelet, as Theo said, was magic. When y/n was abducted, a tear fell from her eye to bracelet, and we know memories can be found in tears. So the bracelet basically saved the memories and when she put it on, her memories came back.)

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[izukusjuicythighs]

bkdk fics i read because was it ever casual

Horikoshi keeps feeding us bkdk crumbs like wtf??at this point they HAVE to be canon bkdk hospital kiss confirmed I was izukus freckle ALSO IM KINDA IN A BLOCK RN whenever I finish a fic my yappin brain always has something to say but rn its real quiet so uh🤡

left me no choice(but to stay here forever)

summary: Izuku learns early on in life that the people he loves will always leave him.

So when Kacchan asks him to be his boyfriend, Izuku kisses him and starts grieving for the inevitable.

words: 6,925

chapters: 3/4(updating)

notes: im quite aware that its a bitchy move to inflict pain on ppl but jm gonna do it anyways lol READ THIS AND WEEP I literally wanted to gorge my heart out and then slap all of my love into izuku idk it evokes complicated feelings??normally hate reading unfinished fics BUT THIS!!gave me a life changing experience within 7000words dammit

be my good luck charm

summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest traveling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

words: 6785

chapters: 1/1

notes: cute lil oneshot for yall cuz mha fans r in dire need of fluff rn yknow why🤭 how to date a hottie101 by bkg: set ur crush on fire to show ur undying love(WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN)

Barberries and Variegated Knotweeds

summary: The Fight Another Day Agreement is a required legal document for all professional heroes. In the event of a life-threatening injury and the hero and their proxies are unable to respond on their behalf, medical professionals may do whatever it takes to keep the hero alive.

For Izuku, whatever it takes means removing flowers from his lungs, forcing him to forget about the love of his life. The aftermath leaves Izuku bewildered at the sight of a man with spiky blond hair and red eyes the color of Japanese barberries.

words: 19,286

chapters: 4/4

notes: YET ANOTHER HANAHAKI FIC WITH IZUKU WHUMP I just love seeing my favs go through it🤠I've read so many hanahaki fics ud think I'd be used to it but NOPE THIS SHIT HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT was ready to downgrade 1 dimension to solve this shitstorm myself

If It's You

summary: “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Katsuki said. “You did not just ask me—me—to try and date your loser step-brother.”

He wasn’t even going to say Deku’s name out loud. Wasn’t giving him the time of day, even in a conversation about him. That weird awkward virgin was not worth his precious time, and certainly not what Kirishima was suggesting.

“But Bakugouuu,” Kirishima wailed, hanging off Katsuki’s arm with monster meathead jock strength. “My dad said I can’t date if Deku doesn’t date. Do you understand what that means?”

“Less chance of knocking someone up and creating more of you in the world?”

words: 16,863

chapters: 1/1

notes: 10 things I hate about you but make it bkdk I LOVE THIS SHIT angsty dramatic misunderstanding high school aus are my JAM also somewhat gives off from the sidelines vibes so if ur into that defo read

Down the Red Line

summary: His mom is the first person to know about it. She finds out when Izuku asks ( in a very cute three-year-old way) why can’t he see the red line that connected him to Kacchan in the last picture they've taken. The one where they were about to enter Kindergarten on their first day.

"Red line?"

"Yeah, Mamma. This," Little Izuku says, raising his pinky finger to show her the thing tied to it.

Izuku has been able to see the red strings of fate since birth. It's no surprise that his is connected to Katsuki.

words: 7,804

chapters: 1/1

notes: one of my absolute favs since 2021 MAKES ME SO FUKCIN MAD I have to put my phone down and contemplate life for a few mjns while reading it but it's so good??my red string is tied to thjs fic pls

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hey!! The ask you answered about some satosaugu fic recommendations kinda made me curious if you got any other fics to recommend. Pretty please? <33 (Also, I love your fics so much, been so fascinated with them ever since I found them. Please keep up the good work <3)

considering op didn't specify which fandom they wanted...I'm gonna go ahead and link every single one of my favorite fics mwahahaha

His Savior (geto suguru x reader)

Takes place right after Suguru kills the village and adopts his daughters. Reader is a non-sorcerer but is still able to weasel into his heart! For now its slice of life, super super cute

The Things that Lie beneath the Sea (Mermaid!OchaIzuKatsu x reader)

Reader is hinted to be recently divorced and decides to spend a year isolated on an island and meets three merpeople that are a bit too interesting. Even though im no longer in the mha fandom, i still go back to see if the author has added any chapters. Really really good! And it has a (sort of) language barrier!

Fight Night (MMA fighter!Sukuna x reader)

Reader gets tangled up with MMA fighter sukuna???? Yum???? it's like 80% smut buuuut the plot and they way they both bond is super cute too!

Zero day (Ghost x reader x Konig)

To avoid jail time, reader joins Task Force 141 as their tech support. Super interesting plot! I don't think it's being updated anymore:( but this is one of my favorite COD fics of all time!!!

Simple Math (Poly! Ghostsoap x Nurse!reader)

Soap and Ghost try to flirt with their oblivious nurse...despite soap being currently hospitalized

Bird Song (Jake sully x human!reader x neytiri)

Reader gets taken hostage by the Na'vi and becomes Neytiri's and Jake's babysitter. Yall its such a cute poly fic iloveitiloveitiloveitsosomuchhhh. Technically not completed but i think it ended perfectly!

Something (just like this) (Izuku x reader)

Reader gets hired to make pro-hero izuku a comic book based on his life and they bond! So so so cuteeeee ahhhhhh!!!!

Undone (Squid Game salesman! Kuroo x reader) (noncon)

Reader catches Kuroo with his latest victim player.

It's a vanasha fic. You already know it's gonna be amazing

Love, Death and Circuits (Android! YoRHa!Gojo x reader)

Reader wakes up ten thousand years in the future where humanity now lives on the moon. It's Android's gojo's first time meeting a human and they learn what happened while the reader was asleep.

THIS is the fic that got me into the nier automata hyperfixation for like three months. You do not need to play the game to understand this. It's a super sweet fic:) Yan gojo is there too as a treat!!!!

The Ostensive Fumblings of Being Human (Connor DBH x reader)

Post revolution. Androids and humans are trying to coexist. Reader is part of an organization to help ease this process along. Connor learns what it's like to fall in love

How many times have i reread this???? I'm not gonna answer that. It's so gorgeous. The author perfectly encapsulates a deviant connor. He's so lost and unsure but the way he keeps moving forward is so inspiring! And the mc and connor's blooming relationship is super cute to see. The world building the author is able to make from Cage's chicken scratch is amazing too! And philosophy!

I have like two thousand more but this is already long enough teehee. if yall read any pls pls pls give the authors a kudos/bookmark/comment!!!!

[chrisevansonly]

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐬 (𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲’𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐮)

ʚ harry styles x female reader (angel)

ʚ nothing like christmas time at the styles family home it makes it more special since it’s violet’s first christmas

ʚ no warnings just fluff

ʚ here we are with a little christmas harry’s angel au update, i’m working on getting better at updating my works and writing, i know im shit at it, so I PROMISE i’m working on it, shit ending idk i’m struggling 😭

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

It was honestly quite amazing how quickly your little Violet had grew, 6 whole months and your baby girl was babbling and practically sitting up on her own now. It was also your first Christmas as a family of three, Harry was done tour, you were off at your home in the countryside close to Harry’s mum: Life couldn’t get better.

“Okay so we’ve got dinner at mum’s in about forty minutes-you okay angel?” Harry’s voice snapped you back to reality

“Oh-yeah i’m okay lovie, just thinking about how 6 months ago we were at the hospital…and now”

The pout and shine in your eyes had Harry walking over to you to pull you in for a hug, holding you gently to him. Thankfully Violet was sound asleep upstairs, she often would panic slightly if you were ever upset, same thing with Harry.

“M’love…it’s okay to feel a bit emotional, our baby girl is growing up…”

“I know-it’s just happened so fast, I miss when she was teeny tiny”

Harry smiled pressing a kiss to your temple

“I do too, but she’s only six months, so we’ve still got a bit longer of little her hmm?”

You knew he was right, so nodding you wiped your eyes letting out a sigh, just in time to hear babbles from Violet upstairs.

“Go get our girl, and i’ll finish up our snack”

Leaning forward to kiss his lips softly you made your way up to Violet’s room, as soon as she laid her eyes on you she was smiling

“Hi petal! Did you have a good nap!”

“Ma ma!!” she squealed happily as you lifted her up, placing her on the change table to get her diaper switched before fixing her Christmas onesie.

“Should we go show daddy your pyjamas? We can all match together?”

Violet smiled clapping her hands as you scooped her back up, walking back down the hallway

“Da da!!!!” she yelled causing you to laugh, Harry appearing around the corner after hearing his daughters very loud yell for him

“Well hello to you too baby!”

Violet reached her hands out to him, Harry quick to take her while pressing a kiss to her cheek

“Wow, don’t you look so pretty in your pj’s…do mummy and I have the matching set too?”

Violet looked to you before pointing to her jammies, babbling away

“I think she’s saying yes H”

Harry laughed, she was still learning how to say words, only a few in her vocabulary at this point but that didn’t mean she couldn’t communicate in other ways.

“Well I say we go get changed and then and have some cuddles on the couch!”

Matching pyjamas was the first of many traditions for your family, something you’d remember as the holidays came and left with each passing year. Violet truly was the best gift you and Harry had ever received.

And maybe someday in the future, you’d add another little one too..

[j0kers-light]

how would j react if reader was in a coma.... i read "just one check" (i think that was the name of the one about the bank robbery and reader getting shot?)

and i kinda want to see him feel sad and guilty. maybe readers in a coma for a week or two. i feel like j would be upset seeing her laying in a hospital bed with tons of iv's coming out of her. or and im not sure how he'd react to her being weak and confused when she wakes up. and you don’t have to write it if it’s too sad/dark 🫶 i just kinda love hospital soap operas so i thought of this 😂

His Lighthouse: Say Something (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Say Something - Oneshot

Hey hi anon!!! 🖤✨

Phew this was an old request! I'm slowly getting back on schedule! Its never too dark of a request for me to write anon! I looooooooove dark content lol 🤭That being said, let's get into it! You requested sad and guilty Joker visiting bedside, you got it! It’s giving soap ops, like One Life to Live, vibes! I penned this on high off of period hormones and during the Super Bowl so buckle up and grab a tissue box! Joker is gonna be in his feels!! (and so was I)

Love you anon! Also, here’s the song inspo! 🖤✨

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

This was his fault. He deserved to be the one suffering not you.  

You did nothing in this life to warrant such a fate. Joker felt sick to his stomach being in your presence but at the same time, staying by your side was his penance. 

Even in a coma, Joker could argue that your beauty remained. Your colored skin, normally so rich and smooth, now gave off a mythical aura against the white hospital sheets. Your countenance was like an elfin or fae. All in all, you gave sleeping beauty a run for her title.  

Nurses and doctors bustled in one after the other to check your vitals as you slept on. Joker paid no mind. He was far too distracted by the constant beeping in your room. Everything was so loud; it quickly became a sensory overload. He flagged down a terrified nurse and demanded that she turn them off.  

“I... I can’t sir. Y/n needs them to survive.” That’s when Joker realized just how grave your injuries were.  

She took the time to point out each machine you were hooked up to and its function. Joker lost count after ten.  

He felt so small surrounded by all this tech. He knew nothing at all. For once, Joker had to trust someone to help him. He’d do anything to keep you alive and well. He already failed half of that promise, there was no more room for error. 

He wanted to grab ahold of your hand, but it looked so fragile lying on the hospital bed. Your nails were still manicured in your f/c and shape however your skin was pulled taunt so that three different IV lines could puncture your arm. The doctors had turned you into a pin cushion and Joker could only hope that you recovered from this. 

He had nothing but time to guilt trip himself into a downward spiral. He didn’t rescue you fast enough and this was the consequence.  

His enemies knew killing you would destroy the Prince of Crime once and for all and they nearly succeeded. Joker almost didn’t recognize you when he found you.  

Frost and the others assumed the worst, but they miraculously found a pulse and that was their cue to rush you to the nearest hospital. Joker didn’t care about the fallout— he walked straight through the front door with you in his arms, clown makeup and all.  

His sudden appearance caused panic, and no one dared to help until Dr. Sarai and her personal team arrived and wheeled you into an OR. Joker was then ushered into a safe room. He expected the staff to call Batman or the police, but they never did.  

He never understood why.  

Sarai broke it down plainly. “We don’t judge here. You didn’t see the desperation on yo’ face when ya brought Y/n in. How could we rip you away when it's obvious ya need to be ‘ere with her?” 

She guided Joker to a VIP room where he and his goons could visit freely without raising any suspicions. It was then Joker saw you for the first time all patched up. It was a shock to see how badly he failed at keeping you safe. Why did you of all people have to suffer like this?  

If he could transfer your pain to him, he’d do it in a heartbeat to rid you of this misery. For now, all he could do was watch over you helplessly. 

He grew to appreciate the steady beeps and hisses that filled your room. Each sound reported in real time that you were still alive. You were fighting to stay with him and he hoped you were giving it your all.  

Joker was still learning to love. If he lost you then he would never try again, for no one deserved to have his heart after you cherished it so. It belonged to you and you alone. You were the best warden in this prison called love and he never wanted to escape. He was just too addicted. 

An unexpected shrill noise brought him out of his thoughts. A crash team rushed through the sliding doors and carefully pushed him back.  

He didn’t have the time to be offended, “What’s going on?!” What were they doing to you? 

No one answered him as they talked amongst themselves; he didn’t understand a single word of their medical jargon, but he did catch, “Call a code!”  

He had seen enough tv dramas to know what that meant. A doctor voiced the trademark “clear!”, and everyone threw up their hands as he shocked you with paddles. The obnoxious beeping continued and then it hit Joker. 

The most important machine of them all. Your heart monitor. Joker memorized the rhythmic rises and falls as you breathed in your sleep. He could listen to your heart for the rest of his life. You were unable to talk but your heart spoke volumes.  

And now it was screaming out for help.  

“We’re losing her. We gotta get her into an OR.”  

It all happened so fast. One minute you were comatose in your room, the next they were pushing your bed down the hall into surgery. All that was left was the snake-like cords from the many machines you were previously hooked to. Joker was left in your room at a loss. 

It was far too quiet with you and your life’s music gone.  

Sarai found Joker still sitting in the bedside chair hours later. It didn’t appear that he moved an inch. The clown was mute, staring at the mess of cords on the floor. Sarai glanced at them briefly before clearing her throat.  

“Her lung collapsed again. We’ve managed to stabilize her but I gotta stress. It’s lookin’ like a temporary fix.” She flinched at the haunting green eyes staring at her. 

“WhaT. Does. That. Mean?” 

Great, he was already going through the stages of denial. How could she put this mildly? “It means... Y/n might not survive this.”  

He flung a rolling cart that was left behind into the wall. Its loud crash made Sarai jump. Somehow she remained composed. Joker wasn’t mad at her but at the situation. She had to keep that in mind with what would come next.  

He stormed over to her and growled, “Do not ever imply my Light might...” Joker’s throat closed up mid-sentence. He refused to say it aloud. “Y/n will be fine. She’s stronger than you think.” He noted.  

“I get that but let's face the facts. They moved her to the ICU so she could be on a ventilator.” 

“Great another machine.” Joker sighed.  

“That machine is breathing for her, Joker. If she loses any more oxygen to her brain, she’ll be a vegetable. No shocks or surgeries can fix dat.” Sarai waited until Joker locked eyes with her to drop the bomb. “She’ll be brain dead.” 

All was quiet as her words sank in. Joker didn’t expect forever with you, although he originally hoped for a few years at best. Time was never a given when this relationship first began.  

Joker was a wanted criminal and you, a famous citizen. It wasn’t destined to work out but the two of you made time. Living in the moment on borrowed time was enough, you were happy with J but now that happiness was being ripped away. 

He couldn’t think straight. The possibility of you dying hadn’t registered before but it became clear now. If only he been with you—kept you safe, then you would have never been abducted.  

This was all his fault.  

“I wanna see her.” He mumbled. Maybe seeing you again would help him make the right choice. At the most it would curb his sense of helplessness. Sitting around was doing nothing for his nerves.   

Sarai nodded and handed Joker a nurse uniform. “Y/n is on a different floor. Change into this 'n follow me.”  

He worn a similar outfit like this long ago so the disguise wasn’t an issue. It gave Joker access to walk alongside Dr. Sarai onto the ICU floor. There was a completely different atmosphere coming off the elevators. The dread was palpable and clung to his clothes.  

Joker could smell death that lingered in the air. He knew the smell all too well given his profession and it made his heart drop to his stomach, catching a whiff of it when he opened your door.  

You were knocking on death’s door and the cruel man was inviting you in.  

Joker pulled down his hospital mask and slowly crept towards your side. In the few hours he’d seen you last; you took a turn for the worse. 

It was going on two weeks that you been in the hospital, all of which you spent in a coma. There were countless surgeries and consultations and yet your health seemed to decline not improve. Maybe Sarai was right. He should probably entertain reality as painful as it will be.  

Joker came to a stop near your bedside to stare at your frail form. He knew from just one glance that you couldn’t survive for much longer. This wasn’t his Bunny anymore. All the light was sucked out of you and made you so small.  

“I’ll give ya some privacy.” Sarai said as she stepped out. She knew Joker needed to be alone with his grief. 

There couldn’t be any witnesses to what he was about to say.  

Pleading for someone to stay alive was such a foreign concept to him. Usually for him, it was the other way around, however Joker always found himself doing the unthinkable whenever it pertained to you.  

J cleared his throat before he began his dire plea.  

“Hey uh it’s meeee, Y/n. I dunno if you can hear me but I uhh.. Geez, I don’t know what to do without ya here. What I’d kill to have those pretty eyes of yours lookin’ my way. To hear your laugh. T-To feel your warm touch on mine..” Joker exhaled and looked up at the ceiling.  

He refused to cry. He did not cry yet a drop or two fell anyhow. If you were awake. the scene unfolding would be jaw dropping.  

Joker was a ruthless man with a matching reputation. None of that mattered as he spoke from the heart. 

“Uh, if you’re tired, t-that's okay, Y/n. Say the word and... d__n it, I’ll let ya go, okay?! I’ll swallow my pride. I can.. I can say goodbye when its time, but you gotta work with me doll. Give me a sign you’re ready and I’ll listen. But until then please... Fight. Stay alive.. stay w-with me, Y/n.” 

Joker choked up and backed away, suddenly unable to breathe.  

His hands were shaking and there was a ringing in his ears. J thought he was hearing one of your machines going off but your vitals were the same, sluggish but constant.  

It was just a panic attack that had him all discombobulated. You were okay (for now), but he was far from it.  

Why did he think you would hear him at his most vulnerable moment?   

This was nothing like the numerous tv show dramas where a heartfelt speech would instantly make the sick patient wake up. He was stupid for getting his hopes up and beyond weak for shedding tears for this. He got himself back under control and made himself comfortable on the room’s guest bed.  

He had to just hope that you would be okay. That’s all he could do.  

Funny how a week ago he couldn’t stand the noise your monitors made. But now? The slow beeps of your heart were his lullaby. 

The staccato pitfalls of your imminent demise roused him awake. Another team of personnel burst through the door, each one working on autopilot to get you back stable.  

You were crashing again. Another code. A shame that this became your version of normal.  

Could it be your lungs failing again or did Joker’s nightmare finally come true? Was this the sign he asked for last night? Was this your way of saying you were giving up? He honestly didn’t know.  

“No pulse! Charging to one hundred sixty joules!”  

Joker sat in the corner, resigning himself to this fate. That familiar bitter smell cloaked your room. You weren’t coming back after this.  

More beeping, more calls for procedures and useless equipment. There was so much commotion, he was forced to drown it all out in order to think straight.  

By no means was Joker a religious man yet in that moment, he closed his eyes and prayed to any high power who would listen.  

‘Please don’t take her from me. I thought I could let her go. I can’t. I just can’t.’  

Their attempts at keeping you alive went on and on for what seemed like forever until someone brave enough walked over to Joker’s hunched form to deliver the news.  

He appeared to be mumbling to himself, but she couldn’t be for certain. It made for a weird sight.  

“Um sir? We need your permission to..”  

So it was happening whether he was ready or not. So much for prayers. Joker wondered why he even bothered.  

He knew what they were asking for, yet he couldn’t help being bitter in his reply. “To whaT?” He snapped.  

The female nurse jumped at the frosty tone, “T-To pull the... um. We’ll give you some time alone.”  

She nodded at the others and in seconds the room was empty, save for you and Joker.  

Joker went to sleep fearing this moment would come. He thought he would have more time to prepare. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye, yet Fate was oh so cruel.  

The brief time that J spent with you skirted across his memory. He would never forget your eyes the first time he saw you. So bright and expressive. Your bravery and wit blew him away and your deep scars from your past humbled him. Joker had never met someone so resilient. You lived up to your nickname. 

You were his Light; always and forever.  

He would never forget your voice; how it felt in the hushed early mornings and intimate late nights, or your whimsical mind inspiring him to greatness. You changed him for the better in a fraction of a year.  

There were just too many memories to recap as he shuffled over to your body.  

Only a few vital machines were keeping you between life and death and they strained to complete their assigned workload. Even to the end, you were stubbornly fighting but it wasn’t enough to sustain you. 

Joker gently smoothed your hair back from your face. “M’sorry Y/n. I gotta let you go.” He rested his forehead against yours.  

You managed the unthinkable. You made The Joker cry.  

There was no time for theatrics, Joker spoke boldly and true.  

“You’re the only woman I’ll love. I will never choose another, I swear. I am so sorry that I couldn’t get to you. Please, Y/n. I’ll do anything just please.. don’t go.”  

For so many years Joker refused to be weak— he had a reputation to uphold, a symbol to represent; all of that meant nothing if you were gone. He would be nothing but a broken shell of a man.  

Joker cried as if his tears could bring you back.  

At first, he almost missed it. Maybe he was hallucinating in his time of grief— but then it happened again. 

A slight twitch. Coma patients didn’t move unless… 

J was pretty insane (he had papers to prove it) so he questioned if this was all a trick of his mind. Before he got his hopes up, he needed to be sure this was actually happening.  

And so you have him a sign.   

The back of your eyelids moved. The heart monitor picked up a sudden spike in activity.  

He felt your hand jerk. He saw your chest rise and fall. Joker felt as if he could breathe air again. He wasn’t crazy! This was actually happening! His life regained its purpose as more and more signs were recorded on your systems.  

And finally, the cusp of the performance; An explosion of alerts. Your heart was now beating too fast, the ventilator automatically turning off to let your lung take over.  

Joker couldn’t scream loud enough. “NURSE!” He mashed the call button as you struggled to wake fully. “C’mon Bunny, that’s it! Look. At. Me!”  

Two weeks he went without gazing into your gorgeous eyes. He could happily drown in them if only you would grace him with the sight. He didn’t have to wait much longer.  

Your colored eyes immediately met Joker’s expectant gaze. “Welcome back, my Light.” 

[incorrect-riordanverse]

Can you explain Palestine vs Israel. I have done my own research and still do not understand. From my understanding Palestine attacked Israel first, and this war has been going on for so much longer than just now. So why is it suddenly so important and how is Israel in the wrong?? Genuinely trying to understand since you are spreading news of the Genocide on your page.

hey so i cant really explain all the complexities and details in a singular tumblr post. i dont really know how much research you did if october 7th is your earliest knowledge of ‘attack.’ israel has been an apartheid state since 1948 and during that year they were downright deplorable to palestinians to get them to be conpliant. nakba is probably the most notorious case but there is more.

this issue is important because this is the first time we see such atrocities in mainstream media and online. Its so oversaturated with suffering that it sets a precedent for how the world (the general public in particular) reacts outside of politicians and activists. will we continue to care when we see other people suffer, or will we grow numb and desensitised? it’s important we don’t lose our humanity like capitalist neoliberalism would prefer. just because we live comfortable lives, it doesnt mean we should be ignorant to those who are suffering. in fact, we should inspect ourselves and ask whether their suffering lends to our comfort and vice versa (it usually does). for instance, many western countries are profiting from this apartheid, hence their support.

i’m not going to list through everything (plus i myself don’t know everything) but i can tell you where to go, and hopefully some others can add on to it.

for israel’s crimes against palestine since october 7th on the account of genocide i feel like south africa has done an amazing job putting together documentations of evidence against them in the ICC. you can find the full thing on youtube or online. some of the crimes include bombing and stopping aid trucks from reaching gaza, preventing women from giving birth by bombing maternity wards, bombing hospitals (there are now 0 active hospitals in gaza, whereas before october there were 36. this info has not been updated in the case) to prevent civilians from getting life-saving treatment, psychologically tormenting civilians until they lose the will to live (particularly in children), and so on.

of course please pay attention to palestinian journalists within gaza specifically— they will show you firsthand whats happening. there’s many apart of al jazeera. al jazeera has also done some articles on the history for you. here is one on nakba. amnesty also did a good job on explaining what an apartheid is.

theres also quite a few independent ones that have become journalists through this attack from israel. bisan is one of them if youre active on tiktok. noor harazeen is a journalist on instagram.

here is a link on how israel funded hamas to rival the plo

here is al jazeeras article on the cultural genocide of palestinians through bombing ancient historical sites and artefacts.

kind of seperate to all that but still related is how support for palestine affects other people. people are losing the jobs over supporting palestine (such as melissa barrera in scream). yemen, another third world country who has been going through crises such as food insecurity for years, has been suspended aid by the UN because it has been aiding palestine throughout the conflict.

The UN in general has been useless about calling for a ceasefire. The United States vetoed during a UNSC meeting because the USA sucks ass. you can look any of this up and they will come with multiple sources im just too tired to find something rn (i’m currently on vacay and heavily sleep deprived).

also general advice to not ask a percy jackson account but an account dedicated to spreading information on the palestine-israel apartheid because they would be able to help you more. yes, ive talked about it on this account but that doesnt mean i’m qualified to explain 75 years of oppression.

[sushiikinsss]

hi friends, it’s your favourite person who is a total letdown time and time again.

i am in my thoughts again and thought to pop in because i was feeling productive for once in my life a few weeks ago when i decided to clean my world up (on and offline) but my life decided to throw the ultimate curveball at me..

i don’t specifically know how to tell everyone directly so im just going to tell you all here because the people who follow me are people i love and appreciate more than most people on this universe so.. here it goes..

sushiikinsss is pregnant!

to be honest, i didn’t even know / realise i was even pregnant until i did a pee test at a clinic last week and an abrupt hospital visit ended up telling me that i am actually ten weeks already, like holy fucking shit. this getting used to has been more rushed than i would have liked but nevertheless, this baby will be loved and welcomed into the arms of myself, the husband and also the family..

to answer your question, no we weren’t actively trying for a baby but we weren’t not trying either as my contraceptive expired in october and we were just going with the flow (rollin’ with the homies)..

so, that’s my life as of right now.. im absolutely sorry that my story won’t be coming out anytime soon, i still will be working behind the scenes on stuff while this baby grows.. and i will continue updating yall on everything.

i love you, thank you for just being here.

xo’s sushiikinsss and “lil sush” - courtesy of my friendo pascal ♡