#but im not ready for another funeral

[cheerfullycatholic]

She went to the hospital last night and they found an infection around her heart, and for doctor drama that I won't complain about, she's very malnourished and has nothing in her to fight it off (which is how it got so bad, it started off as just a small sinus infection a week ago). I have no idea if she's septic as no one who's with her is good at communicating. And she hates hospitals and death and is very scared. Please continue to pray for her

Please pray for my grandma, she's gotten really sick recently and will probably go to hospital tomorrow if she doesn't start to improve today. Thank you

[gunkbaby]

people who weren’t around for tokyo ghoul re releasing weekly can never understand the anxiety of the entire community being wholeheartedly convinced shuu was absolutely gonna croak it at any moment

[ink-asunder]

I'm dying over the fact that the royal family is so adamantly denying that King C has prostate cancer and is instead refusing to state what kind of cancer he has. Like. We weren't born yesterday, he Obviously has prostate cancer. And my problem isn't that they're denying it. My problem is that they should not have been sharing such personal medical information (several days ago when they said he'd been admitted to hospital over prostate issues) to begin with. Like, period, actually.

[vivwritesfics]

No Need To Ask

Chapter Twenty-Seven - The Hardest Thing Is Letting Go

The Norris' were a notorious crime family in the UK. One of many. With Norris, the head of the family, running operations with his son, Lando, they work to keep Y/N Norris, Norris' daughter protected. Life in a crime family wasn't something they wanted for her.

But with tension with one of the Spanish crime families rise, Norris and his now deceased wife come up with only one plan, offer their daughter to the Sainz's or risk an all out war.

1.9K words

Warnings: Funeral

guy's im still so sorry for this one, it's incredibly angsty - I promise I'll make things fluffier soon

Series Masterlist

"There was a time when I was afraid of the world. I was afraid of what was happening in my life and what it was becoming. I was afraid of the world we find ourselves being apart of."

Y/N had never addressed a room like this. Each and every mafia boss stared at her. Her own husband stared at her, with admiration in his eyes, Lando too. He was so proud of his little sister for doing something like this.

She shouldn't have to do it. The fact that she was standing in front of everybody to honour her best friend was astounding.

Tears were ready to fall, but Y/N wouldn't let them. She was going to be strong. For Oscar.

"There was one person who I could count on when I was this scared. He watched over me, kept me company and made me feel normal. There were times when I was breaking down and he'd play some music and get me to dance, taking my mind off of everything.

"That man was Oscar Jack Piastri."

She'd started writing this letter the moment that Carlos had gotten her back to Spain. It had started out as a letter to Oscar, with a lot more in it than she was willing to say in his funeral.

"Oscar wasn't a part of the Norris family," she continued. "In theory, we were never destined to meet. Every day since he first came into my life, I thank my lucky stars that we had him on loan from Webber."

Her hands shook as she turned the page.

"Without Oscar, I wouldn't be here today. He saved my life in so many ways. There was a time in my life, without him by my side, I would have ended it all."

The tears were free flowing now. Carlos stood from his seat and came to stand beside his wife, trying to gently coax her to sit down, but she wouldn't. She had a a speech to make.

She skipped over the next little section. That bit was for her and her only. "Oscar was the bravest of us all. He endured so much. He didn't have to be harsh or domineering to show just what power he had.

"But he was also kind and sweet." He was my soulmate, in the most platonic sense of the word.

Platonic, Y/N thought. But a small part of her was so sure, had circumstances been different, it would be Oscar she was in love with, Oscar who was holding her through the night. Even if they were still in with world of crime and mafia families, if Y/N didn't have to marry Carlos, she was sure she and Oscar would have been together.

She knew this before she got married, but she couldn't say anything. In another universe she would have loved Oscar.

"He saved my life more than once, and I will never be able to repay that debt," she said, wiping away the tears rolling down her cheeks. "He was the very best of us and our world will never be the same without him. Oscar-" But she stopped, just a second to compose himself. "Oscar..."

This time, when Carlos wrapped his arms around her, Y/N fell into him, crying against his chest. He held her for a moment, stroked her back and ran his fingers through her hair.

He moved Y/N behind him and addressed his fellow heads of family. "Oscar became a very dear friend of mine. Without him, I wouldn't have my beautiful wife standing by my side. To that, I say we raise our glasses-" Nobody had a glass in hand "-to a man we will sorely miss."

It was different to the funeral of Norris. The grief Y/N felt was different, harder to deal with.

After the funeral, Carlos took his wife home. They sat in the very back of the car as they were driven to the Webber plane hangar. Lando had organised food for everybody for after the funeral, but Y/N just couldn't be here. And Carlos knew it, too.

They sat beside each other on the jet, her head on Carlos's shoulder as she cried herself to sleep. Oscar was gone. The words still felt foreign to her.

It was incredibly long flight, with the couple stopping over in Malaysia. They had been the ones to take Oscar's body back to Australia, back to his family, to be buried. It meant a long trip for them, but they didn't care. After all that Oscar had done for them, this was the least they could do for him.

It was near a day later that they touched down in Spain. Their stay in Madrid had been short lived, just long enough to refuel the Spain. They should have stayed in Australia, the couple thought. But that was too painful.

Carlos drove them back to the house. He kept his hand on her leg as the radio played quietly, filling the space between them. They didn't have to speak; it wouldn't help anything for the time being.

"I wish he could have met baby Oscar," she whispered as they approached the gate in front of the house. She cradled her bump with one hand, the other on top of Carlos's.

Before the funeral, Carlos had insisted that they go to the hospital, for Y/N's first prenatal check up. They found out just how far along she was and the sex of the baby.

As soon as they found out they were having a boy, she knew they had to call him Oscar. Oscar Sainz, after the man that had saved his life. His middle name was chosen by his father. Pau, a Spanish name. OP Sainz. Their baby was OP Sainz.

Carlos drove through the gates when they opened and pulled into the garage. He opened the car door for Y/N and held her hand as they walked through the house. The house was different now, it felt colder somehow.

"I'm going to get us guard dogs," he said as they climbed the stairs.

Y/N nodded her head as she walked through the hall, heading towards the room that Carlos and Oscar had decorated for the baby. She hadn't seen it yet, just listened as Carlos told her about it to try and calm her down.

Her breath caught in her throat as she walked into the nursery. "You two did all of this?" She asked as she looked around the room, They had done everything, put up shelves and built the drawers and wardrobe. They'd painted the walls and set up the crib, including a little tee-pee tent full of cushions and blankets.

There was a blanket in the crib, one decorated with giraffes. Y/N picked it up and held it close to her chest as she looked around the room. Her husband and her best friend had done all of this for her baby. It was a living memory to Oscar, just like the baby would be.

"I'm thinking of painting his name on the door," said Carlos as Y/N turned towards him.

Y/N put the blanket back and fell against her husband, pressing her lips to his. "My wonderful husband," she whispered, her eyes closed as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

He took her hand and walked her out to the window. "Take a look," he said and she looked to where the golf course used to be.

Carlos had set up an entire play area for their child. If Y/N had the strength to cry, she would have. But she couldn't anymore, her body too exhausted.

"What would you like for dinner, mi corazon?" He asked, his finger trailing up her arm.

"I just want to sleep, Carlos," she croaked, exhausted.

That was fine, he'd let her sleep. Carlos followed her out of the nursery. He watched as Y/N turned left, heading back to her old room. That was right, he hadn't told her yet. "Querida, wait!" He called as he grabbed a hold of her arm. "This way."

Carlos led her into his bedroom, the bedroom they now shared. He'd moved all of her things in during those twelve weeks that he had been alone. He sat her on the bed and got her changed into her loosest and comfiest pyjamas. "Sleep, mi corazon. I'll have dinner for you ready when you take up," he said and pulled the sheets back.

Y/N climbed under it. She closed her eyes as Carlos kissed her forehead and left the room.

He spent the next few hours making his way through work. It was comforting, having things back to normal. Or, as normal as they could be. Most of the work he went through was sorting through his fathers affairs.

After three hours of working, there was a knock at the office door. He glanced up briefly and returned to his work. "Not now, madre," he muttered under his breath as he strode into the room.

"¿Y? ¿Ya no hablamos nuestra lengua materna?" She asked as she sat in the seat opposite him. (And? Don't we speak our native language anymore?)

Letting out a sigh, Carlos looked up from his work and placed his pen down. "Podemos hablar nuestra lengua materna, madre. ¿Qué te gustaría hablar?" (we can speak our mother tongue, mother. What would you like to talk about?)

"No hemos tenido una cena familiar desde que murió tu padre," she said, correcting her posture and sitting up straighter. (We haven't had a family dinner since your father died.)

Carlos shut his eyes for a moment. It was their first night back in the house since Y/N's kidnapping. "Por favor madre. No es una cena familiar a menos que mi esposa esté allí. Después de todo lo que él ha pasado, ella necesita tiempo." (please mother It's not a family dinner unless my wife is there. After everything he's been through, she needs time.)

He stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me," he began as he switched back to English. "I'm going to make my wife some dinner."

Carlos strode out of his office, leaving his mother where she was.

And he really did make Y/N dinner. He didn't ask the cooks to do it, he got stuck in and made her something to eat. It was surprising, just how good of a cook Carlos was. It was also surprising how much he enjoyed it.

He made her dinner, along with a side of buttered toast, just in case she didn't want what he made her. He walked it up to the bedroom and placed it on the dresser as he gently woke her up. He whispered her name and shook her shoulder gently. "Wake my, mi amor. I made you dinner."

Y/N opened her eyes. It was clear from the way she stared at him, eyes wide, that her sleep hadn't been peaceful. Carlos placed the plates in front of her as she sat her. "Here, querida," he said and pulled the cutlery from his pocket.

She dug into her dinner, eating it all (including the toast). "My wonderful husband," she said as he placed the plates back onto the dresser.

Carlos climbed onto the bed and sat himself beside her. He grabbed a hold of her and pulled her onto his lap. "I love you," he whispered, his forehead pressed against hers. "My beautiful wife. I'm never going to let you go."

She grabbed his cheeks and lifted his mouth to hers.

Taglist (CLOSED): @multi-universe21 @formulas-bitch @gills-lounge @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @carlossainzwho @f1lov3r @samaib11 @charli123456789 @queenofmanydreams @ironmaiden1313 @vellicora @glitterf1 @80sloverry @lightdragonrayne @moonayu @bellsalabanccini @topguncultleader @handsupforamiracle @cmleitora @jenniferrvsesi @barcelonaloverf1life @sbella13 @nicolettecallednikki @darleneslane @thehufflepuffavenger1 @champagneproblems17 @aespie @yukheizcigarettes @rewmuslupin @hollie911 @ashy-kit @ririgy @stqrgir1 @zaynzierulez @minkyungseokie @rafaaoli @carolinesainz @ashies-ln4op81aa22 @measimp @mizelophsun11 @eviethetheatrefreak @andydrysdalerogers @formulaal @graciewrote @biancathecool @evans-dejong @sparklyperfectionstranger @venusesworld @goldenharrysworld @cassie0sstuff @gracielukey @watermelonworries @celesteblack08 @shobaes @chonkybonky

[obeymeshallwedateaddict]

I'm not sure if you write angst or not, but if you do can you write the brothers (separately) and mc get into a big argument like a very heated one and the brothers says something like "im so fucking tired of you blah blah blah the next time i see you better be at your funeral" and then like a few hours later mc either dies or is like almost dead but survives you can pick 🫶🏿🫶🏿 FEEL FREE TO MODIFY(?) MY REQUEST AT ALL !! you don't have to write all of the brothers

Hello. Thank you for your request. Honestly it was a little hard for me to write this but I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: During a heated argument the brothers say that they wished MC would be dead but unfortunately their wish came true.

Contains: Angst, death mentions, blood mentions

GN!MC x each of the brothers

You can find more of my work here: Masterlist

Be careful what you wish for

Lucifer

You were in the eldest's room. You and Lucifer were arguing. Recently you've been feeling suffocated by Lucifer's overprotectiveness so you decided to confront him about it.

-Lucifer, I'm tired of this! You're always all over me, always worrying, calling me, texting me.. I feel like I can't breathe! –You yelled, looking into Lucifer's red eyes which were burning with wrath.

-I'm doing this for your own good, MC! The Devildom isn't a safe place for humans like you! Not all demons here have good intentions. I'm trying to keep you alive! –Lucifer shouted back at you, his hands turning into fists.

-You can keep me alive without suffocating me like you are, you prideful bastard! –You yelled and pushed him back by his chest and that was it. The demon snapped. He took you by the collar, lifting you off of the ground and slamming you against the wall. His eyes could burn a hole through your forehead as he spoke.

-I'm so tired of dealing with your stubbornness, human! The next time I see you, you'd better be on your deathbed, because that's the only excuse I'll accept for this behavior! –Lucifer yelled and dropped you to the ground before leaving the room. You left the room as well.

After a few hours Lucifer is in his room pacing around. He knew he should've been more careful with you. He shouldn't have yelled at you like he did. And that caused for you not to come back home for the next few hours and the eldest was worried. Suddenly he got a call from Diavolo. The demon took a deep breath before answering the phone.

-Hello, Diavolo. What can I do for you? –He questioned in a calm manner.

-Lucifer, Lucifer! Come to the castle. Now! I don't know if MC is going to make it.. they got into an accident. Fast! –As the eldest heard Diavolo's words the colour drained from his cheeks. Hanging up the phone and grabbing his coat the demon rushed to the castle. He was welcomed by Barbatos who led him to the castle's hospital wing. What Lucifer saw next made his heart sink into his stomach. MC was laying unconscious on a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors and Diavolo was holding their hand. Lucifer ran up to the bed, dropping to his knees before the bed and grabbing your hand. You looked horrible. Bandages all over your body, bruises and blood. It made Lucifer's heart break into tiny pieces. That's when suddenly the beeping from the heart rate monitor stuttered, a final, irregular beat, and then... silence. The thin green line on the monitor that had traced the heartbeat in peaks and valleys now flattened into a straight, unwavering line. Lucifer's breath hitched and a tear fell down his cheek.

-MC, NO! Please! I didn't mean anything of what I said! Please, MC! Stay with me, please! –The demon whined as he took your dead body into his trembling arms. The Avatar of Pride wasn't ready to lose another family member. He leaned down and pressed an uneasy kiss to your forehead, forging all of his power into it. And all of a sudden.. beep.. beep.. beep... The heart rate monitor showed signs of life once again. Lucifer's teary eyes widened as he looked at the thin line and then back at you. You opened your eyes, looking over at the eldest with a weary expression. The demon let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, pulling you tight against his body.

-MC, I'm so sorry.. please forgive me. This is all my fault.. Oh, my love, thank you for getting back to me.. thank you..

Mammon

The second-born was mired in debt once again. So you found yourself inside his room, yelling at him about the whole situation.

-Mammon you and your stupid gambling! Can't you see that you are mired in debt once again? And who is going to pay off these debts? Yes, Lucifer. But Lucifer can't always clean your messes! –You spoke, looking over at the demon, who looked extraordinary annoyed.

-I can't help it! Plus Lucifer has never had a problem paying off my debts! –He yelled.

-Oh you bet Lucifer doesn't have a problem. Oh yes he fucking does! –You respond, crossing your arms at your chest.

-Well I don't care. –Mammon speaks and looks away from you.

-How could you not care?! You need to learn to pay off your debts yourself, Mammon-

-Jesus fucking Christ, human! I'm sick of your nagging! Maybe if you were gone, I could finally live my life without you breathing down my neck! –The demon cut you off and upon hearing his words you rolled your eyes and left the room.

Hours later Mammon was sitting on his bed, thinking about the argument when he gets an unexpected phone call. It was Lucifer. The Avatar of Greed was ready to hang up but then remembered what happened the last time he did so he picked up the phone.

-Yeah? Lucifer, what's up?

-Mammon, come to the living room. One of your goddamn debt collectors found MC and beat them to death. You have some explaining to do you, idiot! –The eldest hung up before Mammon could even speak. The second-oldest's heart sinks as he runs to the living room where he sees all of the brothers gathered around Lucifer who was holding MC in his arms. They looked completely beat. There were bruises and blood all over their body. Mammon's eyes widened and he ran up to you, putting his palms to the sides of your head, tilting it towards himself.

-MC! What happened?? MC! Please! Don't die! Please! MC stay with me! I didn't mean a word I said, ya hear me? –The Avatar of Greed yelled and you managed to nod slowly. You didn't die (which Mammon was thankful for) but your recovery took a while.

Leviathan

You and the third-born were playing games together in his room. But as time went on things took a more serious turn. The demon began complaining about his life, saying how useless he was and how no one cared about him.

-Levi, it's not like that. You aren't worthless.. –You tried to tell him but the demon was blinded by his self depriving thoughts.

-No! I'm a useless otaku that nobody cares for! –Leviathan shouted and gripped his hair. You were tired of how he was talking about himself, you nearly snapped.

-Leviathan, stop talking like that about yourself. Nothing of that is right. Nothing! –You yelled and the Avatar of Envy moved his gaze towards you.

-You don't understand any of this! Why don't you just disappear already? The only time I'd want to see you again is when you're lying cold and dead, at least then I wouldn't have to deal with your bullshit of an opinion! –Your eyes widened at his words and you took a deep breath before leaving the room.

Hours later Leviathan is sitting in his chairs staring at the countless messages he sent you. But the thing that was worrying him the most was that you hadn't answered any of them. He bit his lip and dragged his hands over his face. Suddenly he got a call. It was from Satan. Levi grabbed his phone and picked up the phone before bringing it to his ear.

-Y-yeah, Satan? –Leviatan questioned before hearing a sob from the other side of the phone. The demon's eyes widened.

-S-satan?

-Levi, MC is d-dead.. Solomon found them laying on the street.. they were ran over a car.. Levi, come to the entrance hall... –Leviathan's eyes widened at the news, a sob threatening to find its way out of his lips. The demon ran to the entrance hall as Satan had told him. The sight broke his heart. MC was laying on the floor, blood dripping out of multiple parts of their body. Their eyes were open but they weren't showing any signs of breathing. They were dead. Solomon was talking to the eldest which was barely containing his tears while Satan and Asmodeus were on their knees before the dead body. Leviathan ran up to you, shaking you in an attempt to wake you up but it was pointless. You were already dead. The demon stood there, staring at your motionless body before bringing a hand to close your eyes.

-MC!.. no.. it's.. it's all my fault.. I shouldn't have said all that.. I shouldn't have let you go.. but now it's too late. Goodbye, MC.. I l-love you.. and I always will.

Satan

The fourth-born was caught while trying to prank Lucifer, which ended up as a long lecturing session from the eldest. And now you were in Satan's room trying to calm him down since he was blinded by rage. But you were unsuccessful.

-Satan, calm down! You know Lucifer has always caught you with these pranks! Calm down! –You talk to him but he growls once again.

-Okay but why did he have to lecture me for 2 hours!! Two our of my precious time that I could spend reading! That fucking bastard! He'll pay for this! –The fourth-born yellednand threw one of the books that was laying on his bed over at the wall.

-Satan! Stop that! It's nothing serious! –You reassure him as you try to take his hand but he shoves it away.

-It is fucking serious..! Why does he ALWAYS manage to catch me and end up YELLING at me!?! Why does nobody ever yell at HIM?! Grrr –Satan shouted once again which made you snap.

-Satan! I'm so tired of this!! Why do you always have to get so irritated over the smallest thing!? Can't you control your temper? You've been around for who-knows-how-long and yet you still can't control your temper! –You yell at the demon which looks at you with angry eyes before turning into his demon form.

-Well if you can't put up with me and my wrath you'd be better off dead! And let me tell you. I'd love to see you dead! –He yells back as he stares deep into your eyes. You scoff and leave the room as fast as you can.

Hours later the fourth-born finally managed to calm down and when he did he finally realised what a grave mistake he'd made. The demon tried focusing on the book he was reading but his thoughts were occupied by you. Were you okay? Are you still mad at him? That's when the demon got a text from Mammon.

Mammon: "Satan, this is bad! Come to the living room! MC came home injured!" Upon reading his brother's text his heart sinks in and he rushes to the living room where he sees you, cuddled up into Asmo's arms as Lucifer treats your wounds. There were tears running down your cheeks which broke Satan's heart. Mammon was pacing nervously around the room while Beel was eating a sandwich with a gloomy look on his face. Satan walked up to you and took your hand in his.

-MC, What happened..? –He asks in a gentle mannerz noticing the hesitation in your voice as you answer him.

-I got into a fight.. –You mutter and look away, hissing as Lucifer rubs alcohol onto another one of your wounds.

-I... I'm sorry, MC.. if I had only been there for you, you wouldn't be in this situation right now.. please forgive me.. –The fourth-born mutters, shooting a hopeful look your way.

-Of course I forgive you, Satan.

Asmodeus

The fifth-born has been all over you recently. You could never find yourself alone. Asmo was practically glued to your side. You would sit in your room, studying and Asmodeus would be there, brushing your hair. You would be walking to RAD with Asmo glued to you. You would spend time with the others and the fifth-born would always have his arms around you. You want to shower in peace? Good luck with that. Asmo would either join you immediately or stare at you while you showered. It was getting too much so you decided to confront him.

-Asmo, you can't always be glued to me! I understand that we are in a relationship and all but your constant attention is driving me nuts! –You yell as you look at the fifth-born's nonchalant expression while he paints his nails

-I just can't keep my hands off of you, hon. You know that. –He answered without even looking at you.

-It's getting too much, Asmodeus! I want some time for myself! –You yelled and threw a pillow at him, which caused him to mess up his nail polish. The demon snapped and looked over at you with an angry expression.

-MC, that's enough! I messed up my nail polish because of you! Maybe if you were dead I wouldn't have to always listen to your complaints about the attention I give you! –He yells as he grips the bottle of nail polish remover and a little cloth to clean up the messed up nail. You left the room upon hearing his words.

A few hours later the fifth-born is sitting in the bath, thinking about the things he said to you and that he should probably give you more time alone when suddenly his phone buzzes. He takes it and picks up the phone.

-Yeah, Lucifer, dear?

-Asmodeus.. –The eldest takes a deep breath– MC was found dead.. Apparently they were buying some cosmetics probably a gift for you, considering there is a letter, addressed to you along with it. They were brutally murdered.. –Lucifer's voice hitches before hanging up the phone, to prevent the fifth-born from hearing his sob. Asmodeus immediately gets out of the bath, putting on the closest clothes he saw and ran to the entrance hall where he saw your dead body, covered in blood, laying next to a bag of cosmetics. Lucifer was on his knees before you, looking at you with a devastated look. The fifth-born's heart sank as he ran up to you.

-MC! Sweetheart wake up! Please wake up! He kneeled down before you, taking your hand in his.

-MC, please.. I didn't mean what I said! You know that, MC! Please! –He begged and sobbed, gripping your hand tighter but it was too late. You were gone forever. As for the letter.. Asmo took it after a few minutes of grief. In it you were saying how sorry you were and that you enjoyed his attention and affection no matter what. Asmodeus sobbed while reading each word. Upon finishing reading the letter he brought it to his chest, hugging the thin paper. It was the only thing he had left, related to you.

Beelzebub

The sixth-born has been neglecting you lately. He was only thinking about food, always eating and looking for food. When you'd ask him to spend more time with you he'd come up with an excuse that he was hungry and would immediately leave you alone to go find himself more food. So you finally decided to confront him. You walked into the kitchen, finding him looking inside the fridge while eating a hell tomato.

-Beel, we need to talk. –You speak up and the demon looks over at you with a questioning gaze.

-Yeah, MC? What's up? –He says as he takes a bite out of the tomato.

-Beel, I'm tired of this. I need more attention! You always neglect me! And instead of spending time with me you eat! It's always food and never me! –You yell and cross your arms at your chest, while looking at the demon who seems conflicted.

-But, MC you know that I'm constantly hungry.. that's why I always think about food but I'm not neglecting you. –He speaks and takes another bite out of the tomato.

-See this?!? Even when we try to have a regular conversation you are always eating! –You shout and shake your head before looking back at Beelzebub. The demon was fed up. He couldn't understand why you were acting like this. After all you knew he was like this.

-MC, you know what? Maybe if you were gone I wouldn't have to argue with you right now and instead I could just go back to eating.. –He speaks in a harsher tone and looks back at the fridge. You leave the room angrily upon hearing the demon's words.

A few hours later Beel was in his room, working out and rethinking the things he said to you. He used some harsh words that he didn't even think he was capable of saying. Suddenly you walk into the room. You wanted to buy the sixth-born some food from Hell's kitchen as an apology for your sudden outburst when two demons caught you and beat you up. When Beel saw you his eyes widened and he rushed to you, wrapping his arms around your body as you hissed upon his gesture.

-MC, what happened?! You look hurt... Are you okay? –He asks in a gentle voice as he brushes a strand of hair from your face.

-I wanted to buy you some food.. when.. when.. two demons beat me up and took all of it.. I'm sorry, Beel.. –You whined and cried softly into his arms.

-No, MC.. don't be sorry.. it's my fault.. You were right. I should spend more time with you.

Belphegor

Lately the seventh-born has been neglecting his duties and instead of doing his student council work he'd always sleep. One day you decided to talk to him about it so you walked inside the attic where you thought he might be and smiled upon seeing him sleeping on the bed.

-Belphie, wake up.. I have to talk to you about something.. –You said as you walked up to Belphegor's sleeping form and caressed his cheek.

-Mhmm.. hm..? MC? What's up? –The demon murmurs with a groggy voice as he rises from his slumber.

-We need to talk.. –You say and sit across him on the bed.

-Yeah, MC? What's wrong? –He asks before yawning.

-You have been neglecting your duties.. you're always sleeping instead of doing your work.. –You say and the demon's expression turns serious.

-Yes because I need more sleep. You sound like Lucifer, MC. Stop that. It's irritating. –He speaks and leans on the headboard of the bed.

-Oh so now it's irritating? Do you think you should be the one being irritated? Or me? Because Lucifer has been making ME do your job. –You speak and look over at the demon who seems close to drifting off again.

-Well then stop doing it. Lucifer can do it himself. –He says and yawns once again.

-I can't say no to him! You know how he is! Plus he is overworked. I don't want to make him work more. –You yell at the demon and he looks at you with an irritated look before speaking.

-MC, leave me alone! I'm so tired of your constant nagging. Maybe the next time I see you, you should be in a coffin, so I can finally get some peace!! –Your eyes widen at his words and you leave the room, before you say something harsher to the demon.

A few hours later Belphegor was awakened from his phone ringing. He groaned before picking up.

-Yeah? –The demon spoke as he rubbed his eyes.

-Belphie I have some horrible news... MC.. they.. they passed away.. someone pushed them off a cliff... Lucifer doesn't let us see the body.. so we can only see them during the funeral.. –The voice of the fourth-born echoed in Belphie's ears as his heart sank. He proceeded to cry and blame himself for what happened. After two days all of the demon brothers are in black, surrounding MC's coffin as they bury it into the ground.

-I never meant what I said, MC.. it's all my fault... I hope you can forgive me.. and.. I love you.. –Belphegor sobs as he places a rose over your coffin.

[warlocksoup]

on the way ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ k. sakusa

masterlist

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, established relationship, grief, awkwardness/tension, family member death, funeral, mentions of a dysfunctional family

a/n: me stop writing abt dead brothers challenge failed. sorry im coping still.

word count: 1.6k

07:00AM

His alarm goes off. It’s dreary and gray outside. Her body’s absent from the left side of the bed.

It doesn’t take very long to find her, and Sakusa doesn’t try very hard. He rolls out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and drags his feet into the living room. She’s standing out the window, looking out of it. He’s not surprised. Staring out windows silently, pensively, is a lot of what she’s been doing lately.

Sakusa approaches her from behind. She doesn’t flinch or acknowledge when his arms snake around her middle. “Are you going to get ready soon?”

08:43AM

They’re late. Thirteen minutes late to leaving. Sakusa doesn’t make a thing out of it, like he normally would. He doesn’t say anything at all as she climbs into the passenger seat and unceremoniously throws her back into the backseat. Sakusa figures that’s his cue that he’s the one driving. He doesn’t complain about this, like he normally would.

Once he’s settled in the driver’s seat, he takes a moment to wrap a wide hand around her knee, squeezing slightly, even though they’re running late. She doesn’t react. Sakusa looks at her, lips pursed together like he’s waiting for some kind of reaction from her. He’s been waiting for a reaction since the news broke. “You ready?��� he asks.

She turns her head to look at him with her eyes dry and decorated with heavy, purple shadows. “Yeah,” she replies, voice devoid of animation, flat and stale. “Let’s go.”

Her grief makes him uncomfortable. Sakusa can only think of how uncomfortable it makes him as he pulls away from their home. He knows this makes him bad person. Or at least, it’s a bad feeling for him to have. He knows that he should be supportive, whatever that means, and that he should be a partner she can rely on.

Whatever that means. Sakusa hasn’t figured it out yet.

It might be easier if she cried. He would at least know what to do then. He could take her in his arms and tell her it’s okay to cry and he would make her some of her favorite food and do things that loving, doting partners do in times of grief and sorrow. But she hasn’t cried. She hasn’t done anything but stare out the window and become a whittled down, blank version of herself.

He feels like all he can do is stare and wait. Just watching as she slowly dissolves, day-by-day.

The car pulls onto a main road. There’s traffic.

09:32AM

She doesn’t play music. None of her aggressive and headache inducing rock music or bubbly and headache inducing pop music. It’s just silence. The wind that sneaks in through the backseat window that never fully closes, and Sakusa’s breathing.

There’s nothing else.

He keeps looking at her, glancing at her for just a second when the road in front of him is clear. He’s taking stock of her expression, checking for slight changes and variations. But each time he looks, her lips are slightly downturned, eyes half-closed, cheek resting in the palm of her hand.

She’s unmoving, statuesque.

Sakusa watched when she got the call. He saw in real time as her mind started to shut down. With her phone pressed against her ear, standing in the kitchen with a half-cooked pot of curry, he watched as any traces of joy or excitement slip off face like melting snow plummeting off a roof. “Oh,” is what she said, “thanks for telling me.” That was all Sakusa heard before she hung up and turned to deliver the news back to him.

“My brother’s dead.”

He took hold of her at once. He whispered condolences into her hair, and he felt her shake but he never heard her sob or cry or anything.

She’s looked the same since then. She looks the same now.

He steals another glance at her, hoping for something different. It’s the same.

10:04AM

 She talks. Sakusa feels like it’s the first time she’s talked in days.

“He used to carry me around the neighborhood on his shoulders,” she says, out of nowhere. It makes him jump, slightly, before he steadies the steering wheel. He glances again. She still hasn’t moved. “His friends used to pick on me a lot but he always defended me. One time I caught him smoking cigarettes behind the house, and I pretended like I was going to tell our mom, but I didn’t. When my mom disappeared, he made sure I still went to school. Packed my lunches and everything. And when I was really little, I remember being confused. Because sometimes he felt like my brother, but a lot of the time he really just felt like my dad.”

Sakusa’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. He thought he would have something to say, but he doesn’t. Nothing feels right.

10:36AM

They’re late. Sakusa has a nervous pit in his stomach about this, but everyone else in her family is later than them.

She hugs her mom, looking stiff as she does, and returns to Sakusa’s side as soon as the awkward embrace is over. He holds onto her hand and doesn’t let it go for the rest of the service.

He listens to people talk about him. Sakusa never met her brother, never knew him personally, but it seems like the him that existed to everyone else didn’t exist to her. They get up there and they talk about him and the dark path he was on and how far he had strayed and how he was so untouchable, unsavable.

She’s stiff beside him the entire time. It seems like she’s holding her breath. Sakusa has to lean down and whisper in her ear, “Breathe.”

Her shoulders rise and fall.

11:49AM

She looks smaller in her childhood home, but she moves around it like she’s too big for the space. Sakusa still won’t let go over her hand.

In her brother’s childhood room, she flicks through piles of CDs and old mangas. There’s posters for bands Sakusa’s never heard of on the wall. There’s a half-full jar of foreign coins and trash that still hasn’t been emptied. Sakusa feels that it is all too intimately human.

Her fingers graze along the spine of a book that’s shoved under small television on his dresser. Love is a Dog from Hell. “He never read this,” she comments, lifting her fingers away. The tips of them are coated in dust. “He stole it from me, and then never gave it back.”

Sakusa watches her carefully. Her shoulders are more relaxed in this space, and there is a ghost of a smile on her face. He doesn’t want to make her leave, but he knows she can’t stay here, surrounded by memories and dust. “Do you want to take anything home?” he asks.

This makes her frown, and he doesn’t know why. “I can’t just take it from him,” she tells him, sounding so small.

She doesn’t need to take anything, anyways. Her mother prepared a small box of belongings that she thought her daughter would appreciate it. She shoves it into her arms on the way out, and it finds itself stuffed into Sakusa’s trunk.

12:59PM

She wanted to leave early, so they left early. She wanted to drive home, so Sakusa let her drive home.

She put in a CD for the drive home. It’s sad. If Sakusa felt like he knew better, he’d tell her that maybe they shouldn’t listen to something so depressing. That maybe they should let the radio play or they could talk about something. But Sakusa doesn’t feel like he knows anything.

He doesn’t feel like he even knows her, right now. Not shrouded in grief, not with this black veil pulled over her eyes. He doesn’t know what’s best for her. He doesn’t know how to help her or how to make anything better, even slightly.

He reaches over the center console and lets his hand rest on her thigh. He leaves it there this time. He doesn’t know if she appreciates it or likes the comfort or if she even notices at all. But he leaves his hand there, and hopes it does something.

03:02PM

They get home. She goes inside without grabbing the box. Sakusa gets it for her, and puts it somewhere where she won’t have to see it, if she doesn’t want to.

05:22PM

Sakusa cooks dinner. Her favorite. Definitely not curry. She eats it in small bites, and then takes a shower that lasts too long. He cleans, and listens for the sounds of her.

07:54PM

She’s in bed already. Funerals take a lot out of you, he figures. He joins her, if for no other reason that he doesn’t want her to be alone. She’s on the let side. He’s on the right.

His arms snake around her middle. He pulls her closer and kisses the side of her face. “I love you,” he tells her, because it’s true, and he wants her to know it. Even if he’s useless. Even if all he can do is watch.

He can almost feel it cracking in her chest. The way it boils over. She inhales sharply, and says, “Kiyoomi,” in a pitch or two higher than she normally speaks, like she’s out of breath. “I really miss him. I miss my brother.”

Sakusa tightens her arms around her as the sobs let loose. It rocks through her violently, and he holds her through it all. “I know,” he whispers back. “I know.”

[thebestandrealestever]

~MILES HEARTBREAK!~

reader tries to help miles navigate his feelings . warns : heavy descriptions of grief, suicidal thoughts if u squint, eating problems a lil. reader granny dead not proofread! a/n: i miss my grandmother i’m projecting eat my ass .

how much better, can i show my love for you? and say i do i do i do, i do i do i do .

miles couldn’t. he just could not. he couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t process it, he couldn’t wrap his head around it, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t move. his dad couldn’t do any of those things so how could he? how could he exist a world where his dad ceased ? i mean how selfish is that ? laughing or eating or speaking when he wasn’t there to do it with him. so there he laid, in his bed for the fourth day straight. he hadn’t eaten or even changed his clothes since it happened only time he moved was when his eyes opened and closed from being asleep to awoke. mind flooding with memories when things were good, trying to remember every time they spoke and cursing himself in his head when he failed to remember a certain conversation or outfit he wore or when they fought, his family was ruined, he cursed his father for leaving, did he have to save that kid? did he have to be so fucking empathetic and giving that he gave his life? does he even fucking know what he did? how could he exist without him ? why should he…miles mind flickered between thoughts of wanting to up there and be with his father but knowing he couldn’t give his mother another heartbreak. oh! his mother. oh he couldn’t bare to see his mom upset, he hasn’t even seen her since . he heard her sobs at night and her footsteps in the morning, always pretending to be asleep when she entered his room. he knew he was a coward for not being able to see her, he wasn’t the new man of the house. he could never be. he could never be anything without his father. so, there he laid.

you may not know right where you’re going but i do, i do, i do. and all the times you wasn’t chosen, well i’ll make it up to you.

your pov!

you were sad, your boyfriends dad was dead. you tried texting him and calling him but to no avail, he never responded. you weren’t upset, when your grandma passed you did the same thing to miles. mr. morales was kinda like your dad in a way seeing as thought you never really had one. he drove you to school, bought you food. you thought about that one time you both had a heart to heart conversation. he had comforted you at the funeral, you teared up thinking about it. you opened miles text to see a thread of blue messages, multiple im sorry texts and good morning/night ones. you move your fingers to text him again, stopping when you realized he wasn’t gonna answer . so you got up and got ready, he needed you, so you were gonna be there. you drove all the way there just to hesitate knocking, you didn’t know why you were afraid . right before you knocked the door opened, it was mrs. morales . “oh, hello mija.” he said with a sadness that brought her tone down. you looked at her face, it was dark and the slightly purple bags under her eyes seemed to pull the rest of her face down you stared for a bit before pulling her into a big hug . you mumbled “i’m so sorry. i can’t even imagine.” she sighed at your words and just hummed “i’ll be okay, i don’t know about miles though. he hasn’t left his room since. please check on him.” she said as she pulled away from the hug keeping her hands on your shoulders, you have her a reassuring smile, “okay mrs. morales.” your eyes widened as it slipped out and she looked down. fuck. could you call her that still? she just smiled and squeezed your shoulders “im going to the store, keep my mind occupied. i’ll be back soon.” she said walking away and you looked into the house for a little walking in as if you were being drawn to miles room.

all of the feelings you’re not showing, when your rivers overflowing.

you knocked on the door, when you heard no response you opened it, revealing the look of miles lying on his bed low eyed and eye bags forming, the smell of grief and pain filled the room. the person that made the world bright was so dark now, your heart pang with guilt, why couldn’t you take this away from him ? his eyes looked at the door, when he saw you he sat up but didn’t say anything his eyes filling up with tears again just at the sight of you

“i’m sorry baby.. i’m so sorry.” you said with the softest voice you could muster up. “don’t apologize, not your fault.” his low voice croaked out, you can tell it was his first time saying anything in a while. “can i s-“. “please.” his unusually low voice interrupted you, you took your stuff off and sat on the bed. “have you eaten, or showered?” you ask miles as you turn your head to hold his hand, his silence is your answer so you get up and hold out your other hand to him, “come on, you need eat and shower.” he looked at your hand then back at you, before slowly getting up to follow you. as you stood in the shower with him, the water running on both of you as you washed his back you could hear him sighing deeply and see his back falling up and down with a faster pace than before. he was crying. you tap his shoulder and he turns around, the water from the shower hiding his tears. he pulls you in for a tight hug, like it he let go would you leave too. “thank you, i love you so much.” he softly said and you just smiled “i love you miles.”

it’s the truth, swear to you. i do i do i do i do, i do. and all that you are i do.

seeing miles so down reminded you of when you were like this, broken and in desperate need of love and miles gave it to you, the least you could do was make sure he was straight. you took out his braids and washed his hair and rio must’ve came back in the house because you could smell food cooking. “have you talked to her?” you said putting on some clothes. “no, i-i don’t know how.” “you should, you have to. if it’s one thing i know it’s that you need each other right now.” he looked out his door to see his mother with her back turned to the stove. he sighed and called out to her “mami?” he said walking up behind her and she turned to him, they hugged and you smiled at the scene. you retrieved the things you needed to do miles hair, you knew he didn’t want any braids now so you were just gonna detangle and blow dry it . miles sits on a pillow on the floor between your legs as you do his hair, rio setting down 2 plates of food for you and miles as she sits down placing the one for herself on the couch arm beside her. all three of you sit there watching whatever movie was playing, comfortable silence settled upon the three of you. after miles ate he fell asleep, just as you finished and were about to wake him up you look over your shoulder to see mrs.morales asleep too. you got up to clean up, tip toeing to not step on any cracks. you put up the food and washed the dishes making sure all the doors were locked and lights turned off. you returned to the couch and tapped mrs morales arm waking her softly. “let’s get you to your bed.” you said quietly helping her up being careful not to wake miles or fully wake mrs. morales you led her to her room and she got in falling back asleep, as you were about to leave “thank you, (name)” she said sleepily and you smiled twisting the handle to open the door “of course.” you said closing her door softly and walking back to see nobody there.

my single line of stars in noon, reflection of the very moon i do, i do i do i do.

you walk into miles room seeing him sitting up on his bed, shirt off and head in his hands. “does it get easier ?” he asks with a tone that suggest he’s afraid. your face softens and you kiss your teeth thinking about your own grief ���yea i think so. the worst thing that could’ve happened already happened, the only thing you can do now is grow. it doesn’t get smaller, but you do grow bigger than it.” you say sitting down beside him rubbing his back, he lets out a breath and looks into your eyes “im so thankful for you, i really need you (name).” you softly kiss his lips then cup his face to kiss his forehead. you get into the bed and he lays on top of you rubbing his face in your neck “i love you.” he says again quieter than before and you frown at feeling his tears run down your neck “i love you too, and i’ll be here. the whole way. always.”

can i show my love for you?

[official-darkforest]

in your anthro au, does bramble actually make it to canada? is the plotline of the lake territory scrapped for something else?

rambled quite a bit here!

no, they dont make it to canada. they abandoned that idea after feather was killed. instead her funeral and burial is held in california by her dying wish and her family drives/flies over. graystripe and mosspelt took feather's car, but mosspelt flies back home via plane. graystripe is staying wirh storm indefinitely and eventually meets millie.

with storm's blessing, bramble,tawny, crow, and squirrel take the van back home. tawny is dropped off on the way, but crow insists on tagging along to thunder because he's not ready to be alone yet. his family is pretty small and he's not sure his parents will be able to help much, as much as they may try.

dodging the draft can get you into trouble, but there are many that got off scot free and bramble was one pf those lucky fellows (especially with firestar's involvement. he made sure bramble wouldn't have it held against him in return for keeping squirrel safe and bringing her home). firestar was furious at both bramble and squirrel but he's not cruel and unsympathetic, especially considering they just lost a very close friend (and that gray isnt coming back for a while).

this is where crow and leaf meet, crow is kinda bunking with bramble at his place and even had plans to move in for good. his parents were pretty combative but couldnt do much since he was a few states away!!! they dont know where the fuck thunder-whatever is. but eventually he gets a call about his father's rapidly declining health and immediately abandons his plans to stay. he asks leaf to come with him but leaf still isn't finished with med school (she doesn't know she's pregnant yet) and they part ways. crow makes it home to help ashfoot care for deadfoot in his final few months and fills in after his father dies. it's something he didnt plan to continue but its notnlike he HATES doing the work. eventually meets+marries nightcloud a 1-4 yrs later

leaf meanwhile continues med school. being unmarried with kids is still a social taboo, especially at such a young age (im imagining she and squirrel are around 18-19 by now, 17 during the road trip). squirrel and bramble, however, had been in a relationship with one another for a while after coming back home. sure, it got a bit messy when ashfur came back from vietnam and got a bit too close to squirrel for comfort, but they sorta resolved it and eventually bramble/squirrel got engaged. leaf confided in squirrel for her help with the pregnancy and squirrel immediately offered to take the children in as her own if leaf needed. it was a huge jump but leaf took the offer. bramble was let in on the plan the closer leaf got to her due date. he thought it was a very impulsive decision and they fought a bit about making the decision without him but he was enthusiastic about being a father regardless.

the others in town had their suspicions but dont ask dont tell.

theres some other parts i havent fully ironed out yet like where hawkfrost and mothwint come in.

as for the actual lake territories, they coexist with the forest territories by just being in different states LOL windclan and thunderclan's territory was pretty consistent in terms of The Basics so theyre mostly in the same general area (tc is east coast forests, wc is southwest-midwest prairies. theres a lot of cowboys, farmers, and ranchers in "windclan" as a result). shadowclan i can see being in the southern swamps, especially florida or louisiana, and riverclan is kinda interspersed alont the mississippi and ohio rivers. maybe a few along the east coast, too, as the lake territory equivalent. skyclan is probably in the rockies or the redwood forests out west. maybeeee old skyclan is in the appalachias???? idk LOL since the cats are so far apaer now the conflicts are a little less wide scale and more personal if rhat makes any sense at all. of course this whole au is a huge work in progress so some of what i say here may change!

the clans are rural/small/poor towns in my head. tight knit communities that have to rely on each other. kittypets are urban/suburbanites as a contrast and keep the 'kittypets r fucjing spoiled' theme going . you inow the city slicker junk LOL

bloodclan is probably a gang in new york. at least scourge's bloodclan. the other iterations are probably in other huge metropolitan cities. idk what warriorclan is, and the tribe is a whole can of worms im trying to be very careful with so im not gonna talk about them as a whole quite yet other than imply they exist

[bamboobooshark]

STEVEN GRANT X READER

₊˚⊹☆ 🤍 .*+ AS LONG AS IM HERE : 920 WRDS

!! NO BETA WE DIE LIKE MEN !!

Prompt by @noahsresources

Steven's younger friend groaned to themselves as they lied in his bed. Recently they'd really been in the trenches as far as their mental health. So many things were happening back to back in their life. Family problems, lack of motivation, failure at their favorite things; it was all too much. Steven, thankfully, realized something was up the second they started responding to his texts so dryly. He invited them over to his flat to try and bring them some comfort. Despite how little social interaction they got with others, they'd never pass up a chance to hang out with him, or even be in his space.

A soft knock combined with the sound of keys clanking against each other came from the outside of his door. "I'm home! I have a little treat for you. I thought that'd cheer you up, yeah," he asked while fumbling with his keys. "Ah, bollocks," the man groaned as he dropped them. "Could you come get the door, please? I've got my hands all full here and I've dropped my keys like an absolute idiot," he pleaded with an annoyed voice. As much as they didn't want to get up, they dragged themselves off of Steven's bed. "Coming," they called to him as they approached the door. They opened it to find Steven trying to lift his keys off the ground with his shoes. "Oh. Hiya," he mumbled, an anxious smile on his face.

"Could you grab those for me, little fella," he asked with a sincere tone as he entered his flat. They quickly nodded and grabbed his keys off the ground. Just like a magnet, they gravitated towards Steven as he walked towards his table. "Clingy thing, you are," he chuckled as he leaned to kiss their forehead sweetly. He set down a plastic bag on the tabletop, looking between his young friend and whatever could've been in there. "Look at what I've got for you," he beamed as he untied the plastic bag to reveal a cheesecake. "Just for you! I know you've been feeling a bit down lately. I thought it might make you feel better to have a little treat," he rambled while looking at them with a big grin. His friend gave him a tight hug as a thank you. They weren't the most verbal, their lack of motivation hindering their energy to speak. Steven patted their back before running his hand up and down their spine carefully. "You go lay back down for me. I'll bring you a slice, yeah," he murmured to them.

A few minutes after they sat on his bed, Steven came striding over with a slice of cheesecake for them. "Cheesecake time," he chirped happily. He handed them the plate, sitting down next to them on the soft mattress. The man watched them with intent as if they were his own flesh and blood. He felt so calm knowing that they trusted him, that they saw him as a father figure, that someone could finally have some sense of hope for him. He wrapped an arm around their shoulder comfortingly. His hand ran up and down their bicep slowly. "Care to tell me what's going on, love? I know you've got it in you to tell me what's bothering you," Steven pleaded with them. He paused for a moment before panic set into his mind. "You don't have to tell me if you aren't ready to. I don't want you to think I'm holding you hostage here or trying to be a bugger. I'm just glad you feel safe enough to be with me," he rambled anxiously. Just to add some more reassurance that he was here for them, he gave them another gentle forehead kiss.

They simply shrugged. Even if they knew in their mind exactly what was wrong, they didn't want to feel like a burden to Steven. However, he had told them over and over again about how he's "always willing to carry their burden if it means he won't have to attend their funeral." They took a deep breath, setting down their plate on his nightstand. "I feel isolated from everything that's been happening," they finally confessed, their voice quivering a bit. Steven released a quiet 'awe' before wrapping both his arms around them, pulling their head to his chest. "I'm sorry to hear that, kiddo. I really am. I don't want you to feel alone," he said to them softly as he tried his best to comfort them. "I'm not the best at this, but I want you to know that you're not alone. You'll never be alone, not as long as I'm here, love," he whispered, one hand caressing their cheek while the other caressed the back of their head.

His words hit them hard. They couldn't manage to squeak out a word before tears came flowing down their cheeks. "I know it's hard for you, mate. I've got you. I promise," he reassured them as his thumb wiped away their tears. "You can cry as much as you need to. You've got a big heart, so I'm expecting some big tears," the man chuckled as he hugged them tighter. They smiled softly as Steven held them. They really were crying some "big tears," hiccups and all. The was no point in getting tissues seeing as how Steven was using his shirt and his fingers to clean their tears. There was nothing better in this world, to them at least, than being held by Steven Grant.

[evilrwbyfan]

au idea: dolls core was retrieved from cyns body when it melted because robots cannot digest, uzi was kind enough to go back and patch her corpse up and put its core back in place

doll now has permanent scaring and damage due to the whole ribcage thing, shes disabled now but shes managing

doll can still use the solver but its faulty, i think most people in the colony still wouldnt like her but i think at least uzi would respect her

because of the way the colony generally acts and dolls past behavior, shes not exactly popular nor does she have friends. shes not friends with uzi, but they arent enemies or anything

uzi has gotten v to make amends with doll by apologizing, they are NOT friends and still dont like each other but doll is too exhausted to care much anymore

doll and lizzy dont talk anymore, doll misses her but she avoids her because of how close her and v are

doll spends a lot of her time alone, mostly outside of the colony because she cant stand always being in the room where her parents corpses are and doesnt have the emotional strength to hold a funeral for them. it would feel like shes “letting them go” which, even after all this time, shes not ready for

one day on dolls travels through the snow, she comes across j working on the broken down spaceship. both of them are a bit on edge and hesitant, theyve gone so long with being alone and neglecting company that its hard to talk to others without it being awkward.

originally, doll wasnt going to interfere with j, but seeing how j was alone just like she was, she kept finding herself visiting her every so often until it ended up being a daily thing

doll and j mostly bond by talking about their mistakes and their shared loneliness, they find solace in one another but this DOES take time, they dont immediately start liking each other

due to dolls past experience with disassembly drones, she isnt very friendly in the beginning but shes not looking for a fight either. j has always seen worker drones as incompetent so thats all she thought doll was going to be, she deemed doll a waste of her time

im not sure how their first conversation would go, but i know it would be short. theyre both trying to get out of the interaction but theres enough information shared between them to pique their interests (and the fact theyre both incredibly lonely and crave company but are too afraid to admit that) so that leads to doll visiting more rhan she wanted to… however, it was a subconscious decision AT FIRST

thoughts?

[iluvpinkkk]

I’m sorry my beautiful boy…

Scaramouche x fem!reader angst

(I was reading angst stories so i decided to write one too😊)

He should have know… he should have noticed it sooner… but he’s now to late.. now he has to see his first love being buried, he can’t take this pain anymore so he walked away from the funeral, he hated himself, even disgusted with himself for ever cheating on his first love.. if only she had told him sooner he would have helped instead of making her live through hell…

“Jeez can’t you even do anything properly” he said in a annoyed tone, as he looks down at you while you try to clean up the food you had accidentally spilled due to your hand shaking. “Sorry scara” you said in a soft tone

“Whatever I’m going out don’t wait for me oh and don’t call or text” he said as he got ready to leave. “Where are you going?” You asked. “Mind your own business” he said in a annoyed tone as he walked out

After a few months your condition as gotten worse.

Scaramouche looked at you in disgust as he saw you on the ground with food spilled on you. “I’m s-sorry scara I tried to hold on it tight but I-“ you get cut off by scara. “Fucking save it, jeez you really are pathetic, no wonder you were single for a while and for being known as the weird girl” he said in a disgusted tone.

“Anyways I been wanting to tell you I found someone new so I wanna break up with you,I’ll be moving out of this place in a week” he said and walked out of the place. You just stayed there on the floor processing the word he just told you

After a week he moved out and fully started dating the girl he cheated on you with and moved in with her, you just smiled after you waved goodbye to him as you thought it was for the best as you would be gone… unfortunately you had to go to the hospital but you had no one to call as your friends are out of town and your parents live in another country so you had to call your ex boyfriend. He eventually accepted so he told yuki that he was going somewhere, yuki tried to ask where but he just told her it was a family emergency

At the hospital you were getting your stuff ready to leave as the doctor told you that it was best for you to do the things you love as you only had a few months left. Scaramouche was devastated to find out the truth… he refused to believe it… but unfortunately he can’t do anything but to watch you slowly leave this world. He made it his mission to try and give you the best memories during these few months left

“Scara you don’t have to come with me I can go alone” you said with a smile. “Yuki will get mad if she found out you’re still hanging out with your ex” you said while looking at the cherry blossom you loved. He hates how you said ex. But he knew it was the truth your not his girlfriend anymore your not his anymore still he refused to believe it. “I told her I was at a family only dinner don’t worry about anything” he said with a soft tone a tone he never use with you as he kiss the top of your head

He should have let you take those pictures you wanted to take the moment you started dating, he should have let you record your guys dates. So he decided to take videos and pictures on his own to have something to remember you. He thought to himself how beautiful you looked while the wind blew….

Now it was your last day.. he was devastated he refused to let you go. “Y/n pls don’t leave me!! Come on love you have to stay strong what- what about the dream we both had!!” He cried out as he hold onto your hand. “I’m s-sorry scara I tried but now I have to go, p-plus you have yuki you can have to dreams with her” you said as you tried your best to stay awake

“No no no I don’t want yuki to fulfill those dreams I want us to fulfill it pls don’t leave me!!” He sobbed and and lay on the the bed with you to hold you close.

“Im tired but pls don’t forget us…pls fulfill our dream for me..don’t forget i love you scara. I’ll only be a dream now” you said in a low tone as your eyes slowly start closing

“I’m sorry my beautiful boy,I’m sorry for having to leave you but now I have to go, pls don’t forget our promise…” you said in a tired tone as now your eyes close. “I will my sweet girl, I’ll fulfill our dream even if I have to fulfill it with another girl, now rest my love I won’t forget you…” he said as he closes his eyes and cries silently as he hold you close

[jamroses]

Exerpt unnamed DEAD POETS SOCIETY fic <3

uh hi guys heres a small exerpt of that Neil has a sister fic i was planning <33 hope you enjoy and that thisll make you excited for the full fic The days following Neil's death were silent, no one knew what to say. Barely a word was spoken between the boys, they had gotten some time off to deal with the news, and prepare for the funeral. Todd was lying on the now empty right side bed, Neil’s mother had come in the day before to clear out all his stuff and had even told him he could keep something of Neil’s to ‘remember him by’. Todd had chosen the script of ‘A midsummer night's dream’ and a sweater. A knock sounded on the other side of the door and Todd rose from the bed, “Come in.” Meeks walked in, ‘It’s almost starting, are you ready to go?’ Todd nodded and followed Meeks out the door and through the corridor. They walked silently, side by side through the halls toward the church next to the school where the service would be held.

They slid into the bench next to Cameron, Charlie, Knox & Pitts who were already seated, Todd looked around and saw Neil’s parents sitting on the front row, right beside Nolan. The headmaster rose from his seat and stood up on the podium. “The death of Neil Perry was a tragic accident.” Nolan began, “Liar.” Todd muttered under his breath. “He was a fine student, one of Welton’s best, and he will be missed.” Nolan continued, “We have contacted each of your parents to explain the situation. Naturally, all are quite concerned. At the request of Neil’s family, I intend to conduct a thorough inquiry into this matter. Your complete cooperation is expected.”

After the service, everyone slowly made their way out to the courtyard. Todd walked behind his friends, “You guys go ahead, there’s something I need to check on.” He started towards the cemetery where they had just buried their friend. When he got there he saw there was already another person there, a girl, she couldn’t have been any older than he was, he slowly approached her, and stood a few feet apart from her, looking at Neil’s grave. The girl didn’t seem to notice him at first, as she continued to rearrange the white roses that were placed around Neil’s grave. Todd thought he had seen her before, but he just couldn’t figure out why she looked so familiar.

After she had finished what she was doing, the girl turned her head to look at Todd. She noticed how heartbroken he looked, how pale his skin was, how red his eyes were from crying. “Did you know him well?” She asked him, Todd looked up, “Neil, did you know him well?” “Oh yeah, we were roommates, you?” Todd looked at her, who was it that she reminded him of? “Yeah, he was my brother.” Todd looked her in the eyes for the first time since they met, “What?” He took in her features and realized she looked just like him, hell she could even be him. “Yeah he is, was, a year and a half older than me.” Todd was staring at her as if she were a ghost. “You look just like him.”  “Yeah I get that a lot.” She smiled sadly. “I’m Todd Anderson by the way.” He held out his hand for her to shake, “So you’re that Todd!” She shook his hand, “I’m Diane Perry.’’

RAAHHH HOPE YOU LIKE IT I KNOW IM STILL A KIND OF BAD WRITER BUT HEY THE BEST WAY TO LEARN IS BY JUST DOING IT

constructive critism is always apprieciated <3

[freshbakedbreadstick]

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Five

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: The past seems to repeat itself and this awful memory seems to provide some much needed context to your actions.

Warnings:  All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, funerals, toxic relationships, grief, angst, strained relationships, minor injuries, arguments/yelling matches, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues, running away, addiction, interventions. This is literally just pure angst again im so sorry (not really (: ).

Word Count: 5k (sorry, she is a long one!)

A/N: I wrote this while procrastinating packing to move into my dorm LOLLL i move in a few days but im too anxious to even start packing <3 anyways this one is another heavy one and a long one too, so fun ! I hope you all enjoy because she was surprisngly difficult to write and edit bc my imposter syndrome and chronic perfectionism is out to get me ! ! Have a slay n gay day ily all ! 

Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 @jadeittic

MASTERLIST

It was a cold and cloudy day in March, fitting for a funeral. There was snow on each corner of the sidewalk, partially melted, but the cold air that made your lips burn when you stepped outside threatened more snowfall to come.

Today marked two weeks since you got the phone call that changed your entire life.

It was only two weeks after Mikey was found dead on the State Street Bridge and they already got him ready to be put into the ground. 

You stared out the window, silent, and watched the life that occurred outside. A man helped his son get out of their car, both in matching hats and scarves, a teen with a backpack passed by with their friends, laughing and jumping, a tree swayed, leaves still gone. 

“Hey, sweetheart, are you ready?”

You didn’t respond.

Your father placed his hand onto your shoulder, “Are you ready?”  

You sighed, letting your breath fog up the cold window pane in front of you. 

Most days, you sat on the only wooden dining chair that was saved from your and Mikey's apartment and looked outside the window. You noticed things you normally took for granted, like the view of snowfall during sunset and the way the trees swayed when a gust of wind blew. 

Finally, you stood up, feeling your dad's hand slip off your shoulder. You didn't bother to smooth out your black dress, letting the wrinkles set in the fabric. Meanwhile, the stockings you wore under pinched you as you moved, but you didn’t care enough to adjust them either. 

"Yea…” you responded at last, voice thick and scratchy.

Your parents mumbled quietly to each other as they locked the door, stealing not so subtle glances over to you as you stood in the middle of the path down the front door, looking at the now empty street. 

Everyone around you just seemed to keep on asking you the same question: "Are you ready to…" but you didn't know. You didn't know if you were ready to face death. But you did know that you felt no panic, sadness, guilt, fear, anger, happiness, or… anything really. 

‘I guess it’s better to feel nothing than something,’ you thought to yourself.

“Let’s get in the car now, okay?” 

You looked over to your mom, who approached you and gently grabbed your forearm, starting to lead you to your parents’ car. But you dug your heels into the ground making your mom jump as she suddenly jerked back. 

“I want… I want to drive myself.”

Your mother looked at you, eyes pleading. She then glanced at your dad, who softened and sighed. 

“Sweetie, i don’t think that is a good idea-”

“Please… i just… I need some time alone before I go in…”

Your parents shared a glance before your mom slowly loosened her grip on your arm. You slowly began to walk away from her, pulling your arm out of her grip. 

“We’ll follow you,” your dad said, voice steady but still anxious. 

You nodded and headed towards your car. The thought of being alone terrified you in general since the news of Mikey broke, but having a small moment alone in the car sounded heavenly after not being left physically alone, at all, for the past two weeks. You didn’t sleep alone, eat alone, or even shower alone; someone was always there either right next to you or right outside the door. While it was nice to have people around you during this time, you started feeling suffocated and pitied rather than supported. 

The drive was silent. You didn’t bother to turn on the radio or take off your thick coat or even play any of the cds Mikey had burned for you as teenagers like you normally did. Nothing was normal anymore anyways, so why bother?

But regardless, the silence was, in some way, comforting. It granted you the smallest bit of breathing space you knew you needed before you would face death itself.

After parking outside the funeral home, you sat in your seat. The car was off and it was silent as you sat there, not feeling particularly anything, just sort of numb. And for the first time in a while, you felt like you would be okay. It didn’t hurt anymore, just felt numb, and that seemed like progress to you. 

A knock outside your window made you jump and turn around. You expected to see your mom or your dad waiting for you, but was surprised to see Richie instead.

You cleared your throat and rolled your shoulder back, holding your head up high like you normally did, before you got out.

As you started to step out, you smiled at him, “Well don’t you look fine as a peach.”

Richie smiled softly for a brief second before it fell back down into a frown that made the wrinkles around his mouth deepen. He looked unwell, with heavy bags and a gaunt face, making him appear sick. 

While you analyzed him, he did the same for you. He scanned your face and body, seeing the way you continued to be the person he knew you as, even during a time in which nothing made sense anymore for anyone. Your shoulders were square and your head was high, making you look less like a grieving girlfriend and more like a CEO. This made him shiver. 

But regardless, he held his hand out for you to take, helping you up and out of your car. As you locked your car, he began to talk.

“Drove here alone?” he said, voice gravelly. 

“Yea… I needed to be alone.”

He nodded silently. He then took your hand, still in his own, and wrapped it around his arm. He led you to the sidewalk, toward the funeral home, steps slow and purposeful. 

“Everyone is here but you… you don’t have to talk to anyone, okay? If anyone bothers you, come to me.”

You chuckled dryly, “Thanks, but don't worry about me. I know this is hard for you too.”

Before he could retaliate to your words, you cleared your throat and walked a little faster. 

You watched as your parents, who were up ahead of you, greeted Natalie and Pete. You saw the way they moved inside after speaking to her, as if stuck in mud, around the sister of the man you loved. 

They both briefly turned back to look at you, eyes watering and drooping, before anxiously disappearing into the awaiting crowd of family members.

You paused, making Richie also pause beside you, turning to look at you. He saw the way your eyes scanned up the bricks of the building and then back down to the wilted ferns in pots next to the front doors. Your eyes, for a brief second, filled with tears, making him open his mouth before shutting it upon seeing you blink them away. 

You cleared your throat and began to move again, seemingly fine, until your heels began dragging on the pavement. So Richie silently moved his arm up to support you and looked away, staring off to the side. He didn't want you to see the way his eyes had started to tear up as he saw through your facade.

Natalie had focused her gaze on you just after your parents left, face in a permanent concerned frown that made her look more like a mother than anything else, before nodding softly to you, “Hi sweetie… are you ready?”

Were you ready?

“I just…” you began, mouth drying up the second you began to talk.

Natalie nodded at you anxiously, reaching over to take your hand in her own. The calluses she had from years of cleaning up after everyone rubbed soothingly into your own hand.

You shrugged, “...I just feel numb.”

Beside her, Pete winced. Natalie shot him a small glare before softening up as she turned back to you, “It’s okay, you're free to stay out here if you need some space, okay? Whatever it is that you need, let us know and we can help…”

Wordlessly, you rubbed your thumb into her hand and turned to look inside the hallway. A couple family members had already spotted you, their once staring gazes averting themselves from your frame as they noticed you caught them watching. Hushed voices that whispered to one another died down to either silence or near silent whispers as they stole glances at you and Richie walking inside.

You turned and gave Natalie a small smile, "Don't worry about me, are you doing ok-"

"Oh, there you are!!!!" A voice interrupted you, exclaiming loudly. 

You reeled around to the noise and made eye contact with Donna, who was pushing through the crowd and rushing forward to you. Fast.

Your eyes widened. 

Too fast. 

Her body was a blur as she approached you. 

Like a bullet.

In an instant, that moment of breathing space you had in the car disappeared and all that numbness flew out the window, being replaced by intense panic. 

The room started to spin, making your eyes widen as she stood in front of you, speaking what seemed to be gibberish. 

"Shit," Richie mumbled, but his voice was invisible to you. 

All you saw was Donna, hair wild and clothes wrinkled. Her hands moved wildly as she talked, voice so loud in your ears that it felt like your eardrums would pop.

"Mom!" Natalie yelped beside you, finally taking you out of the trance you were in by pushing her body in between you and Donna. 

Donna gasped, speaking hushed but angrily at Natalie, "Natalie, what are you doing? Don't you see I'm trying to talk to her- What do you mean I'm overwhelming her?! She's fine, if she had a problem, she would tell me, isn't that right?"

You saw her peek over Natalie's shoulder, eyes searing a hole into your face, "Right?" 

Your throat tightened. 

"Donna, how about we go ahead and sit so the services can start, okay?" Your mother had rushed over and behind Donna, putting her hands on the erratic woman’s shoulders before steering her away from you. 

Your mom cast you a concerned glance as she redirected Donna away from you, letting her blabber on and on to her about the decor being different and the beautiful flowers they got set up for the service. 

But all you did was stare back, breaths staggered and eyes focusing back only to see all eyes on you. 

Natalie let out a shuddered wheeze, taking the initiative to redirect everyone watching into the room where the services would be taking place. Slowly, their eyes turned away. 

"You ok?" Richie's voice seemed to finally register in your brain. 

You whipped your head to him, "Uhm yea… are you?"

In front of him, he saw the way you rearranged your body language back to its "normal state". Your shoulders rolled back again and your head was held high. But this time, your face was blank and did nothing to show emotion. 

Richie nods, "Let’s just, uh, wait until everyone goes in, ok?"  

You took a shallow breath and blinked your eyes, adjusting to the dim, warm lighting of the building. The entire place felt warm from the artificial fireplace on the left wall, facade made of rich brown oak. The furniture matched in wood, feeling dated but comforting, like a grandmother's house. It made the panic in your body slowly melt away, being replaced by the numb feeling again.

You looked at the yellowish-orange patterned wallpaper and brown wood trimming on the walls and snickered to yourself, catching Richie's attention.

"This place looks like a small, hole in the wall restaurant that's maintained by a family. Mikey loves this kind of family style decor…" 

Richie squeezed his eyes shut, "Yea… he does." 

You watched as everyone filed into the next room, recognizing familiar faces like Fak, cousin Michelle, and Uncle Jimmy. You continued to scan the crowd, not seeing the way Natalie nodded towards Richie, signaling him to take you inside with everyone. 

You let yourself be guided behind the crowd, watching everyone who knew Mikey sit down in the chairs that were set up. Donna was sitting in the front next to your parents, still talking. Beside her were empty seats. There was one, two, three, four, and five; one for you, Richie, Natalie, Pete, and Carmy.

Carmy.

You paused.

"Where's Carmy?" 

Richie stopped moving and grimaced. 

Next to you, Natalie linked your free arm into her own, "He uh… he might come by later." 

"Did he ever respond to any of you? I sent him a photo of the service paper but he never responded to me." 

"Uh…" Richie was seemingly at a loss for words. 

Natalie sighed and looked at Richie before responding, "He didn't to me either. Didn't pick up any of my calls."

The panic started up again, slowly swirling deep in your belly, making you suddenly start to speak at the speed of light, "What? Why? Who wouldn't come to their brother's funeral?"

Natalie gulped, voice shaking as she tried redirecting you, "Hey sweetie, how about we go inside and then wait and see if he comes-" 

"I mean, everyone tried to get in contact with him so it's not like none of us didn't try." 

"Yea, your right, but maybe he is running late and was busy-" 

"If he was running late he would've let us know, i know he would." 

The panic made your breathing pick up, making you lightheaded as you took in gulps of stuffy, warm air. It was perfumed like flowers and mothballs, making you cough lightly. 

Michelle, who was seated towards the entrance of the room, turned to you, as did a couple others, as your voice started to increase in volume. It was unbeknownst to you that you began to speak louder and louder, loud enough that people around you could overhear. 

Richie said your name, stern but still worried, "Hey, take a breath and lower your volume."

"What do you mean? I'm fine?" 

Natalie just shook her head, "This was a mistake, we shouldn't have forced her to come."

You jerked your head to her, "Natalie, it’s fine. Besides, I wanted to come." 

Her shoulders sagged, "If this is too much for you, you are free to go-" 

"Please, I'm fine!" You responded, speech getting faster and faster, "You don't have to worry about me like you're my mom." 

"I know I know, but I worry about you regardless, you're my best friend!" 

"Natalie, I'm okay I swear-" 

Richie whisper-yelled at you two, "Let's take this back out, neither of you are okay right now."

"Richie I swear I'm fine, I just want to see my dead boyfriend in his casket!" You whisper-yelled back as you stomped a foot down.

At this point, others had begun turning to look at you. Natalie flushed, noticing the stares while Richie groaned softly, taking your arm and dragging you away from the entrance and to the front door. 

"Your obviously not okay, just stand here and take some fucking breaths." Richie whispered, voice stern. 

You blinked, letting yourself get pulled like a ragdoll. You stumbled as you leaned into the doorway, feeling shame set in your body. 

That was a new feeling. 

"I'm… i'm…" you began, blinking wildly as your face flushed and your chest tightened. 

"Listen, I know this is hard but don't force yourself to do this for any one of us, okay? You can sit out here and none of us will blame you or be upset. We all have our own ways of grieving and if staying away is yours, then do it. You don't need our acceptance in order to grieve in your own way." 

The tangent Richie went on felt so out of character for him that it made you go silent as you watched him enunciate every word. Natalie trailed behind him, holding onto her body with wide eyes as she too listened to his speech, both moved and confused.

With a choked breath, you responded, "Okay, I'm sorry."

Richie's tensed shoulders and furrowed brows softened. He saw the way you looked down and away from him, body drooping. For a split second, he saw through the demeanor you had been putting on since you got out of the car and saw who you really were: the grieving love of Mikey's life, terrified of what life was going to be like moving forward without him. 

Natalie reached over and rubbed your arm, before turning to Richie, "It's starting, you can go in if you would like…" 

Richie nodded grimly, looking at the floor for a brief second before reaching forward, taking your cheeks into his hand and giving your hairline a small peck. 

"You're not alone with this… we are here." 

You looked at him, a cross of confusion and relief written all over your face, making him hold back a laugh when he noticed it. Upon hearing his laugh mixed with a cough, you chuckled softly to yourself. Natalie was the only one not laughing, but still had a small smile on her face as she watched you two. 

“God this is so weird, are you a wise old man now or something?” You joked, gently pushing Richie’s shoulder.

Richie snorted and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, “Ah it’s nothing, just something i learned… don’t think it’s gonna be this way all the time!”

The three of you smiled at one another, right up until Fak interrupted the sweet moment. 

“Hey guys… uh, the service is starting…”

Richie rocked his jaw, the smile he had disappearing from his face. He turned to Fak, annoyed already by him interrupting, “Listen man-”

Natalie loudly cleared her throat, narrowing her eyes at Richie for a second as a warning, making him trip up on his words. 

Richie coughed again and looked away, mumbling to himself about how annoying Fak was. Natalie just rolled her eyes and turned to Fak, smiling sweetly at him.

“Thank you, we’ll join you in a sec.” 

You watched them all interact with one another, some of the closest people in Mikey’s life that ended up becoming some of the closest people in your own life, but in this moment they felt so far away, emotionally and physically. The random moment of peace between you, Natalie, and Richie was fleeting and reality brought you back down to the present moment, reminding you where you were and why you were here. 

Just seconds ago it felt like a regular everyday moment where the three of you talked, waiting for Mikey to turn around the corner or come in from another room and join you, smirking like he always did. He would wrap his muscular arm around you, pulling you into his side and start to joke around with Richie. He would tap Natalie on her shoulder, acknowledging her, and bring Fak over with a laugh, joining all of you together with ease. Any annoyance and discomfort would just disappear around Mikey; he just knew what to say and what to do to bring everyone, even those with differences, together. 

But that would never happen again. 

Mikey was dead and that would never happen again. 

He would never hold you, pressing his body warmth against you, he would never kiss you, gently guiding your face with his large hand, and he would never love you, ever again. 

Your body seemed to finally catch up with the cocktail of emotions you have been feeling for the past weeks and settled on one to focus on: panic. 

It crawled up your throat, squeezing it in a way that made you feel as if any second now, you would be on the floor, clawing at the rug as you struggled to breathe. But you knew that as long as you didn’t let it overwhelm you, convince it that everything was ok, you would be fine. 

So you were going to do anything you needed to do to not let it overwhelm you again.

“Uh, you two head in, okay? I need a second alone.” you said, making them turn to you. 

With a clearing of your throat, you perked up, smiling, as if nothing that had just occurred even happened. Natalie looked at you, taken somewhat aback and concerned, but didn’t push further. Richie was the same, confused but didn’t want to say or do anything that would make you break down. 

“You sure you don’t want any of us here, we are more than happy to-” Natalie began, but you interrupted her by gently moving a strand of hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

“I’m okay, I'll join you in a second. Thank you both for being here with me.” you then brought them both into a gentle embrace, speaking clearly. 

Natalie and Richie exchanged a worried glance behind your back, both struggling to put on a smile to face you when they pulled back. 

Richie began to move to the room where the service had started, “Let us know if you need anything. Text us or call us or just say our name and we will be there.” 

You nodded and shooed them playfully off, leaving yourself standing against the doorway. The doors of the room where service had started closed behind them with a dull thud, leaving you truly alone in the entryway of the funeral home.

Your shoulders and smile dropped, eyes glazing over as you did so. With your heart continuing to race in your chest, you had no choice but to start pacing back and forth. The panic was starting to become too much to control so you tried your hardest to count your breathing, desperate to get it back into control. 

“Fuck…” you whimpered to yourself, feeling tears start to well in your eyes. 

You furrowed your brows and bit your lip, hard. You didn’t want anyone to see you cry, you didn’t want to be pitied. 

Suddenly, the doors opened wide, making you gasp and jump back, cold hands reaching to wipe any tears before you turned to see who was exiting. 

Donna came stumbling out, shushing someone inside, before closing the doors behind her. She sniffed loudly, pushing away her hair from her face right as she locked eyes with you. 

She frowned, continuing to stare at you as she walked forward to where you stood with red rimmed eyes and untouched makeup. She then moved to rifle through her purse, digging for something. 

You watched her silently, feeling your bottom lip quiver as she swayed back and forth.

You continued to watch as she pulled out a cigarette and a lighter, placing the cigarette between her red painted lips and lighting it aflame. With a deep drag and smoke sigh, she finally turned away from you.

She looked outside, staring at the gray clouds and half melted snow. It was getting colder and colder as the evening progressed, making her breaths of smoke even smokier as she breathed out. 

You turned, deciding that it was better to go inside than stand awkwardly around the mother of your boyfriend, whom you didn’t have the greatest relationship with. But right as you took a step, Donna called your name.

You glanced back at her, seeing her stumbling away from you but holding an unlit cigarette out. You were frozen to the spot, unsure whether or not to grab it and join her or go inside. But she seemed to answer that for you when she spoke up.

“Come on, I know you smoke. I’ve seen you and Carmy sneak out to smoke together sometimes during family dinners.”

You winced, feeling your cheeks heat up at having your behavior noticed by the one person you didn’t want to know, but moved forward to accept it regardless. 

As you placed the cigarette on your lips, she reached forward and lit it for you. The deep drag you took filled your lungs, making the chilly air from outside feel much more bearable. 

The two of you just stood there, side by side and silent, together, smoking. 

You burned about halfway through your cigarette before Donna spoke up, making your heart stop at her words. 

“You know… my son died, so I don't know why you are acting like you're the only one who is hurting.”

She threw the stub of her cigarette on the ground and stomped it with her shiny patent leather heel. With arms crossed, she looked at you and, with a low voice, she continued, “Everyone is just flocking to you and when no one gives you attention, you just make a scene and get them all back to you.”

Your entire body went cold.

“My poor Natalie is dealing with the death of her brother and all you do is make her wait hand and foot for you.”

Upon hearing this, all the fear in your body melted away and was replaced with burning hot anger. You knew her words were bullshit, but hearing her talk about Natalie like that, knowing how she treats her, made you clench your jaw.

In a surge of bravery, you retaliated, “Donna, how can you say that?”

She scoffed, “Please, stop acting like you are an angel who has done nothing wrong. You don’t have Mikey or anyone else here to protect you.”

Your mouth drops silently open letting the cig fall from your lips and to the ground, snuffing itself. You scanned her face with your fists balling against your side, seeing nothing but a smug look on her face as she ridiculed you.

With a sharp breath, you began, “You have never treated Natalie like a daughter. You're the one who made her the maid of your family. She practically raised Carmy and does everything for everyone. You made her act like an adult ever since she was a kid and, like everyone else, I had kept quiet about it for so many years just so we wouldn’t upset you. But I'm tired of it, this is the last straw.”

Donna rolled her eyes, “Oh puh-lease-”

But you interrupted her and continued, “So don’t act like you are suddenly concerned with how she is being treated, you never cared when you yelled at her over every little thing, so don’t start now.”

Donna looked at you, dropping her arms and glaring, “I bust my ass constantly for my children, I don't need someone like YOU pretending like you know everything-.”

“Donna, I've been around you since I was in elementary school. I grew up with your kids and around you. I know EXACTLY how you are.”

She clenched her jaw, eyes narrowing. 

But you didn’t stand down, not anymore, “None of your children are saints, but they try so fucking hard to be the best they can be given they had you as a mother. But it’s not like you would ever see that, huh?”

“All Mikey ever did was stress out, because of you! He tried to self medicate with pills and drugs and got addicted, because of you!” Donna suddenly screeched, quickly trying to divert the blame onto you.

You laughed out loud, “I’ve seen him do a couple things once or twice but Mikey was not an addict!”

Donna cackled, shaking her head furiously, “He was!! Ask Richie! Ask anyone! He was an addict, all because of you!!!”

You stepped back, eyebrows furrowing, taken aback at her words. Sure, Mikey was a bit erratic and loud, but that was his personality. He was just that type of person. And yes, he had tried a couple things before and even told you about his experience with them, but he never once did them around you or even mentioned doing them multiple times. He had vices, like smoking and having some drinks, but he wasn’t an addict.

Before you can further question, the doors were pushed open and Richie came rushing out, “What is going on?!”

You opened your mouth to respond but stopped when you heard Donna sob.

You flipped your head around to look at her but were greeted by a sight that made all that panic come barreling toward you again, replacing the anger. Donna was curled into herself, clutching onto her arms, with fat tears rolling down her face. Her sobs shook her body so violently that Richie rushed over and wrapped his arms around her to steady her. 

"What happened!?" Richie repeated, voice softer this time but just as worried as before. 

He looked at you with wide eyes as Donna sobbed, barely speaking through her gasps, "I tried to be the best mother for my children. I don't need you blaming me for my mistakes on the day of my son's funeral." 

As you watched her speak, your veins filled with ice. Only one phrase repeated in your head over and over as Richie looked between the two of you with wide eyes, ‘You fucked up, you need to leave. You fucked up, you need to leave. You fucked up, you need to leave. You fucked up, you need to leave.You fucked up, you need to leave…’

Richie called your name, making you look at him, "What happened?" 

Nothing came from your mouth but a strangled wheeze. You were frozen to the spot, pinned there by Donna's crying and Richie's stare. 

You fucked up, you needed to leave. 

Behind you, the door swung open again and your parents came rushing out with Natalie in tow. A couple peering eyes tried to look out from their seats inside, but the door closed on them before they could put together what was happening. 

"Mom!?" Natalie gasped out, rushing forward to Donna. 

Richie repeated what he said before, but you didn't hear his words. The only thing you could focus on was the way his eyes looked while staring at you, like you were a stranger. 

Donna continued to speak, saying something that was drowned out from your ears, replaced by silence and the deep throb of your heart beat. 

Right before your Mom could reach out to grab your arm, you spoke, "I need to leave, I need some time." 

You pulled the car keys from your jacket pocket and ran. 

[greenerteacups]

hello!! Im so happy you’re back! I religiously listened to your lionheart playlist on repeat in the vain hope it would summon you back to us <3 which leads to my question —>

is there a song on the playlist that you put there because of a particular scene in Lionheart that we’ve read? (or have not read yet… hoho)

I've inadvertently revealed one of the items you can put in my summoning circle: angsty 90's alt-rock jams.

I put most of the songs on the playlist because they remind me of a particular scene! And then a few that are just for vibes. "All Along the Watchtower" was the starting riff when I wrote Narcissa's prologue to Book 4. "Media Blitz" was a soundtrack for "Read All About It," "Girls & Boys" for the Yule Ball getting-ready scenes, "The Great Gig in the Sky" for Viktor's funeral. "Policy of Truth" has been on loop while writing Book 5, because (a) it's a fucking jam, and (b) it's maybe the single most apropos song for 5 (save maybe Bowie's "Heroes," which is the epigraph) in terms of the plot and theme. And "Another Brick in the Wall" ... speaks for itself.

[mana-jjk]

jjk manga and future spoilers !!

if you haven’t read anything from the recent exhibition or seen some manga panels out of context, this is a spoiler xoxo

anime only and fellow fans living in delusion look away and choose happiness

.

.

.

.

.

.

me getting ready to forcefully drag characters into the afterlife because i physically cannot handle the thought of nobara sitting alone, waiting for her friends:

y’all don’t understand, she’s been lonely for so long and now that she finally had people who loved her SHE GOT RIPPED AWAY !! i am on my hands and knees, how DARE YOU GEGE !! i have been living in denial since that dreaded chapter but confirming it?? no.

i am the type of found family crazy that if one person dies, everyone needs to die so they can reunite in the afterlife and be happy together. living on?? i don’t think so. i stg if any of the second years get taken out, i’m annihilating the rest of them, just watch me.

thinking about how maki, toge, and yuuji might have been with her in purgatory for a split second before being revived.

thinking about toge not wanting to leave her alone because that’s his little underclassmen and she shouldn’t be alone IM CRYING IN THE CLUB

thinking about how yuuji might have felt a split second of relief to be with her and junpei, only to get dragged back into the reality where the blood on his hands never dries.

thinking about maki having to leave mai and nobara waiting for her while she tries to finish what they started and she’s in so much pain i physically cannot.

the other adults getting ready to pass on but nobara is waiting because everyone she loves is still on the other side. At the very least she never has to see another funeral.

SHE DESERVES TO BE IN A SLICE OF LIFE ANIME !! these kids make me so sad, i think about how tired they must be. they’re so little and they’ve experienced nothing outside of blood and death, i need them to be happy.

[scaredgirlsilly]

a lil short story i wrote. under the cut cause its kinda long. about love, devotion, isolation, and the ocean. maybe a lil yuri too.

Her Love

"You know, everyone else says im crazy."

The sound of the waves fill the night air, the beach solely illuminated by the full moon bouncing off the water.

"They say... They say I need help. They say that *they* are gonna help me. Pfft. Fat fuckin chance. Like they ever cared about me."

A young woman sits on the shore with her legs drawn into her chest, the waves lapping at the sand only a few feet away. Her eyes are filled with tears. Salty. Just like her love.

"They... They never fucking cared. No one ever called or- or texted, no contact for months. Months! As soon as I say that I'm gonna... They make a huge fuckin deal about it. But- But when have they ever cared?! Never! Not fuckin once."

The waves have finally reached her feet, and she relaxes as it brushes against her. She looks at the ocean, and a faint smile crosses her face.

"I'm doing this for me. They can all.. I don't know... Cry at the funeral. But this... This will be the first time I make a decision for me. For us."

The ocean has reached ankle depth, and she feels the pull of the tides as it goes back out to sea. Her lover is calling for her, beckoning for their consummation.

"I... heh... I think I'm scared. I... I don't know whats on the other side. I mean... I know you'll be there for me, like you always have, but it's... it's alot I guess..."

She wipes away her tears and snot, and holds her hand out to her lover. The pull of the waves feels like a welcome home she never got to experience. Finally, someone who actually *wants* her. Someone who, no matter what, wants to be with her. Forever.

"Well... It's now or never I suppose... I- I love you."

The waves surge as if in response. A call of love back. But she knows better.

She gets up, the tide now at her shins, the pull of the waves making it hard to stand. Butterflies fill her stomach. Just the feeling of the waves pulling her, no one has ever wanted her like her lover wants her now. That thought fills her mind with all kinds of feelings. Anger that those around her only used her, sadness that she could not live a life with her peers, but also a deep sense of content. Finally, someone, *anyone*, wants her. *Needs her*. Someone finally loves her as much as she loves them.

She steps into the waves, wading into the freezing ocean. Her teeth chatter, her legs are numb, and her smile is beaming. Her tears have stopped, and all she is thinking about is her lover.

As she walks farther, she gets to the point where she cant walk anymore. She starts to swim, about another 10 to 15 feet. There, it can finally happen. They can be one.

As she gets to where she wanted to be, she giggles as the waves try to push her under. Like a partner playfully pulling her to bed, she must remind her lover that she will do it when shes ready.

"Be patient silly," she giggles to her lover.

Finally. It's time. The freezing waters of her lover numb her body. Its hard to tell where her body ends, and where her lover begins. Exactly how she wanted it.

She dives under the waves, tring to go as far down as she can, to have as much of her lover around her as possible. Her lungs ache, her limbs sting from the cold, and her heart is full with a love she has never experienced. Finally, her time has come. To show her love exactly how much she wants to be together. Together forever.

There, in the dark water of her lover, the only light from the moon overhead, she takes a moment to steel herself. To fight back thousands of years of evolution, for one solitary moment of devotion. To the only one who ever truly loved her.

She opens her mouth, whispers a silent "I love you", and breathes in.

The water fills her lungs instantly, like it was all it ever wanted to do. It burns like no pain has before, as she flails under the water uselessly. The light of the moon grows dimmer, the cold of the water seems farther away than ever, and the smile on her face has never been wider.

Finally. She is one with her lover. And it couldn't have been any better.