#also just watched all of those boys fix their hair at least 4 times so that one commentator from miami can suck it

[lihhelsing]

Hate That I Loved You

Now complete on AO3!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 ↓

"Are you nervous?" Chrissy asks him as she fixes his hair inside the limo. Eddie smiles tightly at her. 

"No."

She rolls her eyes and Eddie lets out a long breath. 

"A little."

"Don't be," she says and Eddie is the one rolling his eyes now.

"Wow, Chris. Very helpful."

She pats his face affectionately. "Seriously, it's going to be fine. The music video is going to be a success, you're getting another grammy nomination and you're probably going to become the most insufferable person on earth."

Eddie lets his head falls back and closes his eyes, trying to get enough air in his lungs. The car feels stuffed and hot and-

"Hey. Just breathe," Chrissy says. She places her soft hand on his shoulder, but it's not the same. The voice is wrong and the touch is wrong and everything is just…

"I'm fine," he says and Chrissy frowns because she doesn't believe him, but she knows better than to fight him over it. 

"What are you worried about?"

"What I'm not worried about? I'm worried everyone will hate the video, I'm worried Lou is going to show up here even though I explicitly told him not to. I'm worried people will hate the music, say it's too much."

Chrissy doesn't seem fazed by any of that. "The song is not too much, the music video is perfect, we already ran pre-tests and everyone loves it, Lou is not getting anywhere near this place tonight and all security is aware of him and with clear instructions to get rid of him right away. Now. What's really worrying you?"

Fuck. "What if he shows up?"

"Lou is not-"

"Not Lou. Steve. What if Steve shows up?"

"Don't you want him to?"

Eddie opens his eyes and almost laugh at how confused Chrissy is looking right now. He's such a mess. 

"I don't know. I want him to. I miss him. I invited him. But he hasn't responded and I'm not sure if it will be worse if he shows up or if he doesn't."

Chrissy smiles then, and Eddie doesn't get it. It's not something nice or sweet. Eddie fucked up again, even when he said he wouldn't. He cleared the air with Steve. Apologized for being a jackass when they were together. 

Then Steve said he was happy, and Eddie couldn't possibly risk that. He couldn't risk going back into Steve's life knowing he could ruin everything again. So he took a step back, watched him as Steve noticed the change and he let him fucking leave. 

At least, this time, Steve was the one that left. It was all on him and if he also wasn't sure, if he was happy just how he was, then Eddie was glad he didn't mess it up. 

"Ok, here's the deal. You can't control whether or not Steve shows up. But you can control everything else. You can get out there and have a killer launching party. You can read the awesome speech I wrote to you and you can have fun with your band. If Steve doesn't show, then you probably have your answer."

"What if he shows up?" Eddie asks, hand pulling at a strand of hair anxiously. 

Chrissy bats his hand away. "Then you'll also have your answer, sweetie."

"But, like… What do I do, Chris?"

"You don't let him leave this time, dumbass."

Easier said than done. 

-

As soon as he steps into the red carpet, Eddie is a new man. He's still nervous, of course, but it's easier to put on the mask of rockstar Eddie who doesn't really care about anything when all those people are watching. 

He answers a couple of questions, takes a lot of pictures and moves along, waving at some fans that are standing outside and promising to come talk to them once the event is over. 

He walks straight on, doesn't look back. He sees the boys already there, standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him so they can all go inside together. The place is amazing, there's food and drinks and everyone that's anyone is there. 

Eddie is ready. And then. Then he is not. 

"Eddie?"

He whips his head around. Wishes he could stop meeting Steve like that. Wishes he could prepare himself for the blow that it is to see him. 

He's beautiful. Looks like a dream in a fitted suit. 

But he's fidgeting with his hands, eyes a little glassy. He's nervous, looks like he's holding his breath while Eddie doesn't answer him, just stares, dumbfounded. 

Right. He needs to answer him. 

"Steve, hey," Very eloquent. "I'm… Surprised to see you here."

Steve flinches visibly and Eddie needs to keep his damn mouth shut. Before Steve can say anything or give him an excuse to bolt out of there, Eddie takes the steps he needs to get to him. 

Then, his voice is nothing more than a whisper. 

"I'm glad to see you here."

Steve blinks and his expression softens. 

"Thanks for inviting me. It means…" Steve trails off, his words getting lost somewhere between Eddie and all those people around them.

Eddie can see flashes going out and there's a part of his brain reminding him they are in public. He grabs Steve's hand. 

"Wanna get out of here?"

Steve looks taken aback. "You mean, go inside? Yeah, sure, I think we-"

"No, I mean get out of here. My car is still outside, I can take us anywhere."

It takes a second for Steve to process what Eddie is saying. He squeezes his hand and nods his head. 

"Yeah, ok."

Then, they are off, hands linked together as Eddie pulls Steve in the opposite direction of everyone that's getting on the red carpet. There's still flashes going off and he hears people calling his name but the only thing he cares right now is the feeling of Steve's hand on his and the certainty he's not going to let him leave again. 

-

The light of his phone illuminates the inside of the limo. Everything is quiet, Steve is pressed up on his side even though there's all this space inside the car. He reads Chrissy's messages that he's been ignoring for the past five minutes. 

'Where are you?'

'Eddie, seriously!! Pick up the damn phone!!'

'People are saying you left!!! where the fuck are you?'

His fingers are hovering over the keyboard when a new message comes in, the loud sound echoing through the silence. 

'that times photographer said you left with a mysterious man so either this is Steve and you're fixing things and I'm giving you a pass or you can get your skinny ass back here because you won't miss this premiere for a random hookup'

'just warn a girl next time! and use protection!'

Eddie locks his phone with a loud groan, and Steve chuckles beside him. 

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, Chrissy is just about to kick my ass when I see her again, but it's fine."

"We can go back," Steve offers and Eddie finally looks at him. The lights come and go as the car moves and Steve's eyes are still shining. 

"I don't want to go back," Eddie says and then, "I want to be here with you."

For some reason, that seems to be enough for Steve to snuggle a little closer to him. They don't talk much during the rest of the drive, but all Eddie can feel is how right everything is. 

- 

His house is big. He knows that, objectively. He doesn't even care that much, he mostly just likes that he has space for all his instruments, has a small studio for when he's feeling restless and enough space for the band to hang out and crash whenever they feel like it. 

He likes it because it feels like home, but the wide-eyed expression Steve is giving the house right now also makes him feel a little self conscious. He knows Steve doesn't care about that stuff, but it's weird to know Steve knew his uncle's trailer and now is seeing this. 

It makes him afraid Steve won't see him as the same person anymore. 

Eddie takes a deep breath and tugs Steve's hand until they are moving again, walking inside the house. He doesn't have a plan, doesn't even know why he brought Steve back to his place because if this is Steve letting him down easy, it's about to get really awkward. 

"Want something to drink?" he offers, hand still curled around Steve's, doesn't know if he knows how to let go. 

Steve shakes his head, eyes the couch and it's crystal clear. He wants to get this over with. Eddie can understand that. 

"Ok, so…" Eddie says when they are sitting down. They aren't holding hands anymore and Eddie misses it.

"Let me talk," Steve says in one breath. Eddie is a little surprised. "Can I go first? I just…"

"Yeah. yeah. Ok"

Steve flexes his fingers and bites his lower lip. 

"Ok," he says, resting his hand on the couch. Not touching. Is that a sign? Are things about to go badly between them? "You hurt me."

Ouch. Eddie flinches even though Steve's expression remains soft. His words are harsh. 

"I'm sorry, Ste-"

"I'm talking."

"Oh. Sorry. Go ahead."

"You hurt me. Back then, when you left. And then last month, when I flew across the country for you and you pulled back. I don't… I can't take it anymore, Eddie. I don't think I can handle getting hurt by you again."

Steve closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they are a little glassy like he's about to cry. Fuck. Eddie is not doing too good himself, and this is worse than he imagined. 

"But I also don't know if I can let this go. Let you go. It feels like we keep missing each other and doing things the wrong way and I don't want to do anything wrong anymore. I want things to be right and I want you."

Eddie blinks as Steve's words sink into him. He's not sure what he's supposed to be feeling but there's something shaped like hope trying to emerge from inside of him. He wants to grab it and keep it. 

"Steve, what are you-"

"I'm not done," Steve says and Eddie shuts his mouth. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt, you know? You pulled back after the shoot and I figured you were overwhelmed. Tired. Sad. Your jackass ex was there, you had to shoot for three days straight and the song is really heavy I just… I made excuses for you but I need to know, Eddie, because it's killing me."

There's a long silence before Eddie realizes Steve wants him to talk. 

"Sorry. I-"

"Stop saying sorry."

"Sor-. Shit. I mean… Fuck, Steve."

Steve keeps his face neutral as Eddie struggles over everything. He doesn't understand what Steve is saying and he's afraid to think it's what he wants because he never gets what he wants. Not when it comes to love. 

"You pulled back. You made me leave because it would make you feel better, to think this was my choice, but it was never my choice. It wasn't my choice when you left all those years ago, and it wasn't my choice last month. I would never choose to leave you, Eddie. Don't you see it?"

"But I keep hurting you!" he says because it doesn't make any sense. Steve shouldn't want anything to do with him. 

"And I keep coming back because I fucking love you and I hate that I love you. Still. After everything."

Eddie's heart is almost beating out of his chest and when Steve looks away from him, it breaks a little. He moves on the couch, closer to him, and his hand finds Steve's chin so he can tilt it in his direction. So he can look him in the eyes when he says what he needs to say. 

"Steve. Fuck. I know you don't want to hear it but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my egotistical ass hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you think you needed to leave and I'm sorry I left you. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted you more than anything. More than music and fame and whatever. Things only make sense if you're here and when you showed up for the shoot… That's when I realized it. I need you. I love you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize I never stopped loving you. Please, please tell me I can still fix this."

Steve blinks quickly, his eyes are a little wet and Eddie wants to run but he can't. Even if Steve tells him to go fuck himself, he owes it to him to sit there and take it. 

But instead of cursing him or pushing him away, Steve nods. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there. 

Eddie feels like floating away. "Can I kiss you?"

Steve nods again and Eddie feels like he's moving in slow motion. His hand cups Steve's jaw and pulls him in until their breaths are mixed. He's eager for the kiss but he wants to memorize everything about this. About Steve. 

How he closes his eyes and his eyelashes glow with the tears he was holding back. How he opens his mouth a little and licks his lips, waiting. How his hand grips the couch hard, as if he needs something to keep him grounded. 

Eddie's free hand finds his waist and pulls him until Steve is almost on top of him. He pushes his hair back, counts every freckle on his face and wonders how he lived without him for so long. 

Never again. 

Eddie dips in, lips brushing Steve's and heart hammering in his chest. The kiss is slow, sweet, soft, but it kicks in his muscle memory and soon he's giving Steve what he wants. Just how he liked it. His hand finds the hem of his shirt and he touches warm skin, hopes Steve will let him take them to the bedroom later. 

For now, he kisses him, and Steve kisses him back.

[clavidy]

guy who is definitely one of your dps mutuals here. you should do at least one of these five or i will throw pebbles at you. any character because i have definitley watched hit film dead poets society 100%.

AHHHHH YAYAYAYY!!

Im just gonna do what I want character-wise bcs you didn't specify but I'll try and do all the ones you asked for!! :DDD

1, appearance hcs:

Knox's teeth are chipped at the front and partially fake, he fell on his face while trying to ride a unicycle and impress a woman.

Meeks has bunny teeth, has had heavy-duty braces for YEARS trying to fix them. He doesn't mind them, actually, but his dentist said that he should and he went along with it. He has a bunch of birthmarks!!

Todd's nose is always a bit red and his lips are always pink. He just permanently looks cold and sickly. His eyes are blue-gray, and he has some slight freckles on his nose.

Neil has the longest, most gorgeous eyelashes known to man and is covered in beauty marks. He's pretty, that's it.

Cam is a daywalker!! While Meeks has a ton of freckles, he has absolutely none. He also used to have braces, but he didn't really need them. He has absolutely perfect teeth now, though. He also, like Charlie, spends a ton of time on his hair every morning. It's the only time they get along.

2, weird quirks:

Todd tends to chew on anything near his mouth unconsciously, but he doesn't really like gum. He overuses lipbalm, specifically mint.

Neil likes to stare into bright lights and follow the spot it creates afterwards. His mother jokes that this quirk of his is the reason he needs reading glasses, and his father's face gets very pinched every time she does.

Pitts drums his fingers on everything. He likes to create little beats with Meeks.

Charlie tends to doodle on everything, whether that be paper, desks, his skin, or his friends', usually his friends'. He often doodles naked women. He's a very bad artist.

3, disabilities:

Meeks has problems with his knee joints and uses forearm crutches on bad days!! He's also very asthmatic

Cam has chronic migraines :(

Spaz is hoh and uses crutches as well on top of his asthma and allergies, the poor guy

Todd is autistic!! (he's just like me fr)

4, love language!!:

Neil is a very touchy person, as he communicates his affection that way, but he personally likes honest conversation and spending quality time with someone the most. His "guilty pleasure" (in his mind) is words of affirmation.

Todd thought himself touch-averse until he met the poets (namely neil) and suddenly, he wanted to be as close to them as possible. He enjoys spending quality time with and doing acts of service for those he loves, and he likes receiving words of affirmation and the same quality time back.

Meeks, Pitts, and Charlie all like giving and receiving physical affection, though Meeks also likes quality time, Pitts likes words of affirmation, and Charlie is... Charlie.

Cam likes words of affirmation and quality time! He's very touch-averse and slow-moving.

Knox is... Knox. He communicates through physical touch and likes receiving words of affirmation in canon, so no hcs for him really.

As for music,, ahh I really can't decide. I mean Meeks and Pitts have a canonical music taste, and Charlie would definitely listen to bowie if he was around in the 50s, but he wasn't, so.

All I can think of is that Charlie would enjoy Elvis purely because of his "lewd" dancing and Cam would feel the exact opposite. Cam would probably listen to popular, safe pretentious white boy music like frank Sinatra and classical hits. I feel most of the other poets would have similar music tastes, as all they really know is the stuff Meeks and Pitts play, but Charlie's rich so he has a bunch of records AND a radio at his house.

[emo-trash101]

hi! i’d love to request a matchup for hazbin hotel :))

i have short wavy hair and an asymmetrical haircut, my hair is currently dyed red, i have brown hair and brown eyes and i wear glasses. i have a baby face, im short and kind of chubby, and a little insecure about my appearance.

my zodiac is cancer sun, taurus moon, leo rising if that helps you at all!

i’m pretty sensitive but i hate showing it (and usually don’t, im a pretty good actor). i can be pretty clingy and insecure, but i try not to let it show too much.

i can get pretty lonely and i love to share all my obsessions with people, but i also get drained from social interactions pretty quickly.

i love having people who can make me laugh, and especially people who laugh at my jokes. i really enjoy having people to banter with.

my main love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation, but i really like quality time and acts of service as well.

i hate being condescended, or feeling dismissed or like im not being listened to. if i feel like my opinion or presence is unwanted in a situation i’ll shut down very quickly, but if someone i love makes me feel that way i tend to lash out. i try my best to communicate how im feeling but i can get really emotional sometimes.

i wear some variation of the same outfit everyday, i love music, movies, watching tv, reading, and writing. i love animals but im kinda scared of going outside (bugs and allergies). i’m very awkward and i talk a lot when im nervous (which is like all the time). i’ve been a theater kid since i was 4 years old and i love disney movies (my fav is princess and the frog). i’m the kind of person who doesn’t really like to talk to new people unless i have to so im terrible at making friends. i can be quite rude but i don’t try to be i just can’t read social cues. i really really love rocks, im vegetarian (or at least trying to be), deficient in like a million vitamins, have a bad stomach, auditory processing issues, and mental illness. i have very dry humor and i say things without thinking about them, so i make really weird jokes that usually only i understand. i get sick pretty often, i get lightheaded easily and have bad joints. i love sweet things and would eat nothing but chocolate all the time if i could. i can’t keep eye contact well, i stare at random areas on peoples faces when in conversation. i need time to recharge alone after pretty much any social situation. im a bit of a perfectionist and i can become obsessive over trying to fix everything that’s bothering my friends or those i love. i can be quite irritable and get frustrated easily especially when im anxious but it’s pretty easy to calm me down with a hug or verbal affirmations. i’m kind of like a cat in the way that i can be extremely clingy but sometimes i hate to be touched. i take a lot of naps and i might have narcolepsy and/or chronic fatigue.

i’m trans-masc and bi (but i prefer boys).

Okay okay, so I think you match up best with

LUCIFER

(No it's not just because you're a theatre kid and he's voiced by Jermey Jordan)

I feel that based off of how you described being really sensitive and emotional, this man would be (relatively) well equipped to handle it. I also think that he would be really good for making you feel comfortable (Sorry I'm shit at explaining my reasoning for things sometimes 😭)

[blackraged]

I can't help but think about what the men's bathroom at the VP would look like early in the morning.

Like, think about it; a multitude of different personalities, clashing at the importance of their needs in hygiene.

Wouldn't that be fun to watch?

Those who take barely any to no time up in the bathroom: KAY/O, Omen and Cypher

I mean, it's pretty obvious why. KAY/O is a machine.

Omen is.....a ghost...in one way or another.

And Cypher, well, he is Cypher. He wouldn't risk being seen, not even for the sake of proper hygiene. It's not like they can smell his breath under his mask anyway. Otherwise, I would say he showers frequently with his mask on, but I don't think he waterboards himself willingly.

Agents who take a fairly decent amount of time up in the bathroom: Yoru, Chamber and Brimstone

Yoru takes 3 minute showers, so there is no problem with that. It's the fact that he stays almost half an hour in front of the mirror, fixing himself. He needs at least 3 cans of hairspray to get his hair stand up like an onion's end. He also plucks his eyebrows. (Sorry Yoru, but I ain't buying your eyebrow split.)

Chamber canonically drowns himself in expensive perfume and colognes. Dang, who would have thought? I'm pretty sure he waxes too, but only in his free time. Chamber is as smooth as a baby's butt, and he is weirdly proud of that.

Brimstone's an old dog. He takes a little bit longer to get ready, but he still manages to keep up with the younger ones. While I would like to say he shaves, I honestly do not think he does. He is past that age line, and he even only trims his beard maybe once or twice a month. Honestly though? Out of all the male agents, he smells the best. Like, you won't be smacked in the face by Dior Sauvage Eau de Toilette as you walk by. (Looking at you, Chamber) He just smells really nice.

The one who could be done within 10 minutes, but decides not to: Phoenix

He sings in the shower. I don't know what more you want me to say.

The ones who take fOREVER: Breach and Sova

Ship aside, I had to think a lot about these two. Like, A LOT. As someone, who has a long military line in the family, and also really fucking long hair, I had to sort all pros and cons for these two on why they would be either the first ones ready in the morning, or the last ones. Oh well...

Breach is a Viking. Most of you might know that back in the middle ages, Vikings took pretty good care of themselves hygiene wise, compared to everyone else at the time. So, I do have to say that, while Breach is the most homeless looking out of all Agents (Twitter's words, not mine. I'd marry his ass any time), he is definitely the cleanest in all of VP. Yeah, you heard me. That man smells nice, he takes showers regularly, he washes and brushes his hair, shaves, and keeps himself generally clean. As soon as he is done with his work out, or has returned from a mission, the first thing he does is hit the showers. He doesn't even use any expensive scented products. It's just soap and water, man. Also he puts his hair in a clean braid every day. (I've got really long hair, and let me tell you, even if I sold my soul, I could never keep my hair in a braid for more than 4 hours. Hair strands always manage to escape somehow and I end up looking like a feral witch.)

I strongly believe Sova shaves every morning. This is evident through his shadow beard. (You know, the grey shadow around his chin that comes from shaving) Just like Chamber, Sova has a military background, therefore spending enough time on getting ready in the morning wasn’t exactly an option. I genuinely think, that he can finish in 2 minutes or even less, and be battle ready in under 4. But this is where it got confusing, right, because Sova has long hair. And taking care, every morning, of said long hair, isn’t exactly easy. Even worse is, that the boy just puts a fucking clip in it and calls it a day. 

He is possibly one of the best, if not the best Agent at VP. But as a soldier AND marksman, do you really want your long hair dangling in front of you, blocking your vision?

Like, yeah sure, he takes good care of it, and if anyone were to smell or touch his hair, they’d feel heaven on earth because it is just that soft. Yet, I still think he should at least keep his hair better together.

I’m not saying he should have kept it in a braid instead, but, he should have kept it in a braid instead. (I love his long hair, and you could try to pry it from my cold dead hands, but substance over style, okay? Look at Breach, he got the memo) Other than that, Sova definitely sweats a bit more than the other Agents, so he uses a lot of deodorant. Also, big fan of face creams.

Bonus: All other Agents complain about Sova's and Breach's hair being on the ground and sink, and just... everywhere. Oh, the curse of luscious, strong, long hair.

Good day.

Them Ladies are next 👉👉

[finelinevogue]

the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”

[graywrites5567]

Sanzu X gn!reader HEADCANONS

You guys really liked the Mikey one so I thought what would be even better then my personal 2nd favorite character! All of these might go into Bonton Arc Sanzu. Also tell me any other character you would love to see headcanons or even an oneshot for, I sometime needs a little inspiration.

• Sanzu’s depression can be an issue especially on days where self care can be hard so you will have to brush his hair and teeth then praise him for at least trying. He will adore you and he thinks about those days a lot it makes his heart flutter.

•The “medicine” cabinet is strictly off limits to you most of the time. Haru has them ordered and his own type of labels, classy. The exception is if he comes home injured.

•Okay guys now listen Sanzu isn’t going to get clean for us let’s be honest BUT! Haru does keep it at work, when you and him started dating you kindly explained that you would prefer if he could tone it down. He understood and tries to keep it at work but there’s some days he can’t, be understanding.

•Bad days are something that’s super tough but if he gets home annoyed, he’s picking you up and taking you the nearest thing to cuddle on usually the couch so you two can watch TV. He will lay on your chest and sigh repeatedly til you ask what’s wrong and he will say nothing over and over til he can’t handle it anymore.

•I can imagine Haru isn’t the fanciest when it comes to dying his hair pink so look under the sink in the bathroom there’s about 7 bottles just so when the color even slightly changes he’s fixing it. So help the boy out, get dye all of your hands and have music playing. Sanzu will think you’re personality is amazing.

•Every Bonten member has your number just in case Haru needs something or had a rough day. Kazucho is often the person who text you any concerns, it’s super sweet. Ran sends you pictures of Haru looking blazed out of his mind. Rindou never uses your number unless he is the occasional sober driver.

•If you ever talk kids with Haru, he will be amazed, like you want him to take care of another human life that’s not yours or his CRAZY! But when he thinks about it if you would be there to help him and he helps you it’s seemed amazing the domestic life.

•Not huge into PDA but will hold you and always have an arm around you just so you can’t leave him. He won’t loosen his grip either actually you tell him that he’s holding you to tight he will chuckle and hold you tighter.

•Random fancy dinner dates are more often then you think. Koko will mention this new restaurant he bought or one he’s investing in and Sanzu will talk to him about planning a reservation. Then you will get a text: “Hey get ready in 4 hours I have a surprise 💕”

•Haru tries to get a lot of days off to just have a day with you. Nothing special just laying around breakfast together in bed while watching the shows you two haven’t watched in a while. Then cuddles all day no getting ready just lay with him. He’s never been so comfortable around one human and with someone who showed him the same amount of effort in the relationship.

•you are his world and he would burn it down if you asked. So know that even at clubs or parties there’s not a shot that a person is touching on him like you do.

•if you’ve seen the tiktok where the partner finds a note page all about them on their lover’s phone. SANZU HAS ONE IT LIKE A WHOLE ESSAY. Every appointment you have is in his calendar and every dislike is written down. If you feel insecure he will look at the note page and get you your favorite gifts while only saying how amazing you are.

[obeymeluv]

The Baby Assignment [Lucifer]

I have a list of actual headcanons for demon baby behaviors, but this is not that post.

You and the boys have a baby! (sort of). 

You should’ve never told Diavolo about how high schools used to have practice baby classes.

Note: most of the genders and children come from “The Bros as Dads” post.

Cut me some slack on the names. I didn’t really have them planned, haha.

Lucifer:

Extremely skeptical. This whole assignment depends on you two standing in a summoning circle and--in a flash of light there’s a KID in the middle of the floor.

It’s a GIRL! 

This triggers his demon form on reflex because he’s startled and can’t help but have flashbacks of Lilith. You’re cooing to the little girl and Lucifer feels breathless as he takes in her hair (it’s his) and those big eyes (they’re yours)

His wings flap a few times before pressing close to his body. This has caught the baby’s attention and she’s staring at him with more intelligence than a child should have.

The professor says the child will grow exponentially over the next week or so and she should be able to deliver a report on how competent you are as parents. Their developmental age will be assessed and factored in as part of the grade.

You walk carefully over to Lucifer, eyes shining and a tiny fist in your hand and oh Diavolo, he wants this child to be real right then and there!

The naming doesn’t happen until you’re back at the House of Lamentation with a massive magical trunk that will spawn child necessities. You sit in his study as the baby looks around and points to things. You name them off.

You’re in the middle of walking her over to look at his records and watching her slap things on the shelf, trying to feel them with her fingers, when he gets the idea to name her after one of the human composers he knows (”Marianna.”)

You honestly thought the addition of a literal child would throw Lucifer off but he’s prepared. It’s only then you realize he’s been alive for thousands of years and helped raise the other six people in the house

Enjoy your view of Lucifer wearing a baby sling for the first three days because unless you have a real kid together, this is the only time you’ll see it

The two of you work on a schedule and carve out time to teach the child on top of your other duties. Sometimes you’re hooked up to the sling, sometimes it’s him. He gets a kick out of seeing you tote the kid around and usually catches you tickling her feet.

Diavolo graciously lightens up on Lucifer’s paperwork load (BY A LOT!) in exchange for seeing the child and playing with them

Most of her facial expressions take after Lucifer’s and Diavolo is BEYOND amused

After day 3, Marianna gets distressed seeing Lucifer sit so long, so she’ll toddle you to Lucifer and just points until you do something about it

100% a daddy’s girl and Lucifer has a hard time keeping his pride in check. It’s coming off of him in waves

She says her first words between day 4 and day 5 and Lucifer wants to cry (he does) because the first one is “daddy”

From day 5 on it’s a constant fight to keep her close because the bros want to smother her for being so cute and are bugging her to say their names

Marianna is partial to Satan and Lucifer is secretly glad. Satan acts all smug about it.

She has Lucifer’s insistency for perfection. Mammon was messing with her tea party set up and she bit him for moving her plate in the wrong spot. That was day 6 and she had her pointy baby demon teeth. Marianna got a little whisper scolding that Mammon would’ve died for BECAUSE SHE GETS KISSES WHILE SHE’S GETTING SCOLDED? FOR REAL?! HE GETS STRUNG UPSIDE DOWN!

Marianna hates being fussed over and likes to dress herself. Whatever you or Lucifer fix, she undoes when your back is turned.

One of her favorite hobbies is sitting on Lucifer’s lap and practicing her handwriting. She also likes to brush his feathers. Marianna asks to sleep in them and will try to hide from you in them. The giggles give her away.

By day 7 she has the intelligence of (at least) a 6 year old and has velvety nubs for horns. You learned that demons like to rub their horns against hard surfaces (or loved ones) as scenting and for their growth.

She accidentally scratches you up, not quite understanding you’re human, and goes into an absolute meltdown. She didn’t mean to hurt you.

Goes into a freaking rage when anyone tries to fix you up. Wants to do it herself. This kid is a literal puddle of apologies, please hold her.

She cuddles you for the rest of that day and officially gets her own little desk beside Lucifer on day 8. Marianna pretends to write her own letters but mostly draws. Bugs Lucifer with the random stuff Satan and Levi teaches her but he doesn’t mind.

You’d bring them snacks every now and then and sometimes you’d hear them singing together (ever so quietly). You didn’t know Lucifer could sing. 

Lucifer has woken up with a fist in his face, accidentally been punched in the eye, and has been kicked away at least once since she was big enough to sleep in the bed. She takes after Lucifer in the way that she needs you behind closed doors. Marianna doesn’t sleep unless she can feel both of you next to her. 

Lucifer officially has bragging rights about sleeping with you (even if he won’t pull that). Secretly gets the best sleep of his life. Really starting to feel the parent thing. A kid with you would be nice.

Marianna gets little fluffs for wings on day 9 and they “air box” when she’s angry. She demands back scratches for how dry and itchy the feel and you figure out she purrs like Lucifer.

She doesn’t always prank Lucifer but when she does, she hides his pens and makes him play hide and seek with her to get them back

Marianna likes to help out in the kitchen and loves setting the table. She gets mad if anyone messes with the napkin folds you guys practice. She makes a tiny Lucifer screech when Asmo gets obnoxious with taking pictures for Devilgram and Mammon nearly breaks his chair trying to run out of it. She laughs like you.

Around day 10 she insists on a family day and Lucifer has this sinking feeling in his gut that she knows she won’t be around much longer. Maybe it’s a side effect of the spell. The two of you spend the day running around the Devildom taking lots of pictures. Diavolo crashes a few of those pictures.

She spends day 11 burning the midnight oil with Lucifer. Around 9 PM he’s trying to send her to bed. Marianna just drags a blanket back into his study and snuggles down. He notices all her old pictures and some new ones she’s drawn. “It’s my book,” she tells him.

“Your book?”

“Yep.” she colors in the lines carefully, the finished pages pushed away and much better than her older ones. “It’s for you guys, for when I go away. And for your school.”

On day 12 you bring her back into the class, she’s dressed in similar colors to Lucifer. She wanted to look good for her presentation and she said ‘dad always looks nice’.

Marianna talks through her book, calling back memories of building blocks and playing hide and seek. She’s very proud of the pictures from two days ago. They’re her favorite. She shows off her horns and the “dad roar”.

You and Lucifer walk her to the circle. She stands in it as the spell determines her final age. She’s about 10, pushing the limits for growth as determined by the spell.

“I wasn’t here a long time, but I had fun.” she hands him the book and gives you a much longer hug than Lucifer. You wonder if it’s her way of apologizing for having a favorite even though she was good to both of you. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.” she looks up at Lucifer as she hugs him, her chin pressed into his stomach.

“Perhaps.” Lucifer takes on his demon form as the circle starts to glow, flapping one wing at her. She “air boxes” back before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

It’s a quiet, lonely silence. Very cold. There’s a subtle warmth in Lucifer’s embrace as he guides you back to your desk. It was brief, but you see why she likes his hugs. 

[skiller0dani]

NSFW Alphabet | JJ Maybank

M A S T E R L I S T Outer Banks Masterlist

smut requests info

hope you enjoy, love you all. 

AFTERCARE (what he’s like after sex)

so JJ is used to random hook ups and aftercare wasn’t always something he did

he did if he was in the mood 

most of the time hook ups were a way to release pent up frustration 

and when he’s mad he doesn’t do aftercare

until he started dating you

now he goes a little over the top with aftercare

he massages you with lotion afterwards

gets you water and snacks if you want them

hot water bottle if you’re sore

sometimes draws you a bath

boy really loves you & wants to take care of you 

BODY PART (his favorite body part of his & yours)

JJ loves every single inch of your body

but deep down he’s an ass man

loves to see the round curve of your ass in those tight jeans you wear

and your bikini? 

lets just say JJ has a lot of unwanted boners whenever you’re in a swimsuit

which is often during the summer

you can always count on JJ to pin you against the wall and grab a handful of that perfect ass of yours at least once a day

CUM (anything to do with cum, basically)

JJ thinks your cum tastes good

which is kind of embarrassing when he talks about it too much

sometimes he talks about your cum just to see you get all bashful about it with rosy cheeks

funnily enough JJ thinks his cum is kinda gross though

“ew it got on me!” 

“that’s your cum JJ!” 

he usually cleans it off your right away though

he doesn’t want it to get tacky on your skin

which grosses him out more

DIRTY SECRET (a dirty secret of his)

JJ, for some reason, is embarrassed about the fact that he tends to be a little gentler in bed then people expect

it’s an inside joke among the pogues that JJ is a rough lover

which you discovered is not really true

he can be rough, but normally he isn’t

he’s rough when he gets possessive

like when Rafe and his little group flirt with you to piss JJ off 

you can bet that night JJ will be pounding into you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a few days

JJ can also get rough if he’s angry 

if someone pisses JJ off for any reason you can count on getting thrown around a little

but he doesn’t throw you around too much, he would never hurt you

it’s all consensual though, JJ would never do that if he knew you didn’t want him to

EXPERIENCE (how experienced is he? does he know what he’s doing?)

JJ, much to your dismay, is very experienced while you were very inexperienced

by the time you two had sex the first time he had already been with 4 girls before you

JJ had to teach you everything about sex

he was very sexually ambiguous for a 17 year old 

JJ has never been ashamed of his sexual past, but when he started dating you he did feel a little guilty when he saw how much it bothered you

it only bothered you so much because you were a virgin before JJ

you’ve never been with anybody before JJ, and he’s had a lot of sexual partners 

and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you

because it does

a lot 

that’s why JJ doesn’t really bring it up

FAVORITE POSITION (this goes without saying tbh)

any position he gets to fuck you is his favorite position

JJ always says “there’s way too many to pick just one!”  

a personal favorite of yours is when you get to ride him

JJ is always takes the lead when it comes to sex 

so he’s always watching you come undone

and when you ride him you get to see him come undone

and boy is it a beautiful sight

head tossed back against the bed

eyes squeezed shut

little whimpers escaping his clenched teeth

his hands holding your hips tightly to still control the pace

even when you top, JJ needs to be in control somehow

you can’t help but whine whenever you see his bottom lip pulled between his teeth

it truly is an honor to watch JJ cum

GOOFY (is he more serious in the moment? more humorous? etc)

he is both evenly 

most of the time, JJ is goofy 

he hardly even takes day to day life seriously

so most of the time JJ is cracking jokes and trying to make you laugh

and he spends a decent amount of time trying to make you blush

but when JJ gets upset he’s an entirely different person in the bedroom

his jaw is always locked, and his gaze is dark and lustful 

he doesn’t crack any jokes, and doesn’t goof around

if someone made a move on you then JJ is usually pretty pissed off during sex

sometimes he’s gotta remind you who you belong to

HAIR (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes?)

trimmed a little but honestly JJ isn’t too concerned about it

you don’t care if he upkeeps his pubes or not so neither does he

he does if the bush gets to crazy but other than that he leaves it alone

they’re a shade darker then his hair

so like a dark dark blonde

INTIMACY (how is he during the moment? is he romantic?)

unless he’s angry, JJ is very intimate during sex

before JJ started dating you, he had sex just to get off

he had sex with girls because it felt good

there was no closeness in it, no intimacy

but with you sex is very intimate

it’s never about just getting off

every time he has sex with you 

even when he’s angry and pounding into you 

he’s showing you how much he loves you in the only way he knows best

while it’s true that JJ had a lot of sexual partners before you, none of them really showed JJ what sex could be like

that it could be so fucking good 

because with them it felt good, but nowhere near as good as it feels to have sex with someone you love

JACK OFF (masturbation headcanon)

JJ jacks off a lot more then he used to

because when you’re not in the mood, or if you’re busy then he has to find some way to relieve himself

before you JJ would hit up every one of his booty calls until one of them agreed to come over

but he would never cheat on you so if you turn down sex, JJ waits 

and while he waits he jerks off to satiate him until you’re ready

and he never rushes you because he’s not an asshole

he waits patiently because this sweet boy loves you very much

KINK (one or more of his kinks)

he hasn’t outwardly admitted it but you think JJ has a secret daddy kink

he loves when you do exactly what he says

he loves being in total control

he loves the trust that comes with it, when you physically show him that you trust him enough to do whatever he says without question

it’s comforting to know you trust him not to hurt you

he calls you little girl during sex a lot

which you love

“gonna cum for me little girl?” 

“yes daddy please,” 

it accidentally slipped out. really you didn’t mean to say it

but as soon as you did, JJ groaned softly

and his pace quickened a little

you could tell that he liked that

so you decided to “accidentally” say it more often

LOCATION (favorite places to do the deed)

JJ is a borderline exhibitionist 

he likes the thrill of almost getting caught

but most of the places he chooses to rail you are places that couldn’t be come across accidentally 

JJ can’t bring himself to risk someone else seeing you naked

or worse 

getting fucked

if some other guy saw that beautiful fucked out look on your face when JJ’s driving his cock into you

he’d probably beat the guy to death

so JJ gets his “fucking in public” fix in restrooms or other places with lockable doors

he’d never fuck you out in the open

MOTIVATION (what turns him on?)

e v e r y t h i n g

JJ is horny 92% of the day so anything you do is bound to turn him on

bending over? JJ is popping a boner

your shirt lifts to reveal your midriff? JJ is 100% popping a boner

stripping down to your bikini to get in the water? he’s rock solid before you even get your shorts off

and then he’s looking around to make sure nobody else is watching you strip

there was one time he caught Pope looking when you were getting ready to get in the water and JJ might have punched him

he pulled the punch though, so it didn’t even really leave a bruise

it hurt enough for Pope to never make that mistake again

he literally closes his eyes until he hears you get into the water now, Pope won’t even risk glancing in your direction 

he’s afraid of receiving JJ’s wrath if he’s caught looking again

NO (something he wouldn’t do, his turn offs)

anything that would cause you a lot of pain

he’s comfortable with inflicting you with a little bit of pain like spanking

but anything worse than that and JJ is out

once as a joke you asked JJ if you guys could try ‘blood play’ and JJ freaked out

“I would have to cut you Y/N, no fuckin’ way.” 

“I was just kidding baby.” 

JJ would prefer to make sex exciting in other ways

ways that can’t hurt you

like blindfolding you

using ice or feathers as stimulation

g e n t l e choking 

very gentle

JJ can’t hurt you, he physically won’t feel any joy from it

his dad has hurt him so much that JJ doesn’t like hurting anybody that doesn’t really deserve it

like Rafe, he definitely deserves it

ORAL (preference on giving or receiving, skill, etc)

JJ hates being that stereotypical guy but he really loves when you give him a blow job

you’re just so fucking good at it

when you wrap your lips around him, it literally takes his breath away

when you use your tongue on the underside, JJ feels his insides begin to squirm around

plus he doesn’t mind receiving more than giving too much because he knows how much you love sucking him off

sometimes you beg him to let you suck him off

and of course, JJ always says yes

you’re fucking hungry for his cock, and if you had it your way it would always be in your mouth

but just because JJ likes receiving more than giving doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to go down on you

because JJ is phenomenal at eating you out

some of the most mind blowing orgasms you’ve ever had have been with JJ’s head in between your legs

boy knows what he’s doing in that regard, he just doesn’t do it very often

which doesn’t bother you because he will happily do it if you ask him to

PACE (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc)

depends on his mood, like all things

if he’s in a good mood, his pace is pretty moderate

not too fast but not too slow

if he’s in a really lovey dovey mood then his pace is slow and passionate

long and deep strokes to make sure you feel every inch

if he’s pissed off or jealous then his pace is quick and brutal

harsh snaps of his hips against yours and definite bruises on your hips from him holding you so hard

he always feels bad about the bruises

but you always reassure him and insist you love the bruises

which you do

QUICKIE (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc)

quickies are a pretty normal thing for you two

it’s quickies more often then anything else

a quick fuck in the Chateau’s bathroom before any of the pogues notice you’re gone

quickies in your room when you sneak away from the party because JJ took off his shirt and you decided you desperately needed his cock

it’s rare that you two get to take your time 

but when you can take your time, its some of the best sex you guys have

like it’s so good that it’s worth waiting for

but you’re not complaining too much because any sex you have with JJ is going to be amazing

RISK (is he okay with experimenting? does he take risks?)

yeah he’s okay with moderate risk

if it’s something that could get you in serious trouble then he absolutely won’t do it

if it puts you in a situation 

if it’s something that could hurt you or cause you pain then no he won’t risk it

he cares about your needs and your safety way more than his own

JJ doesn’t care if he gets in trouble and he doesn’t care if he gets hurt

his pain tolerance is really high so he almost never notices if he gets hurt during sex

like if you claw at his back too much and he’s bleeding

actually he loves it when you claw at him, and he loves it even more if you make him bleed

you usually end up looking out for him in the same way he looks out for you

you won’t let him do anything that could end up hurting him

STAMINA (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)

JJ can go for 2-3 rounds before his dick physically will not get hard again

if he had it his way he’d fuck you all night, but he can’t 

which annoys him

boy can fuck you at Earth shattering speeds and hardly break a sweat

he’s got the energy of a hyperactive child when it comes to sex

sadistically that’s one of your favorite things about JJ, that he can fuck you for long periods of time without tiring

it makes sex exciting

TOYS (does he own toys? how much does he use them? on you or him?)

JJ definitely doesn’t own any toys but you do

and when he discovered this, he immediately brought it into your sex life

he loves watching you cum on a vibrator

he has a remote control one that he uses a lot so he can sit at the end of the bed and watch you cum without even touching you

he also got a small one that you sometimes use when other people are around

and JJ will randomly turn it on when you’re having dinner at Kiara’s 

and you can’t make any sound or act weird 

you always see that little smirk on JJ’s face from across the table when he sees you’re close

and he never lets you cum

UNFAIR (how much he likes to tease)

big tease energy

there was one night he was so frustrated that he teased you to tears 

he edged you so much that one thrust and you were cumming around his cock

he’s a tease in day to day life and in the bedroom go figures

but when JJ is trying to show you how much he loves you he never teases

he worships your body and will give you orgasm after orgasm until you’re a shuddering mess

VOLUME (how loud is he? what kinds of sounds he makes, etc)

JJ mostly just groans and swears under his breath

he says he doesn’t want to drown out all of your beautiful sounds with his own moaning

but your favorite is when JJ growls softly in your ear, or when he sucks a harsh breath in through his teeth when you clench around him

you’re the noisy one in bed 

and that’s the way JJ likes it

WILD CARD (random headcanon)

when you first started dating, JJ was actually really evasive about how many partners he’s had before you

he would get really quiet whenever you asked him and would never directly answer the question

until you cornered him in the Chateau, demanding to know how many people he’d been with 

“4...” his voice was soft, and he wouldn’t lift his eyes to meet yours

that was more then you were expecting, but you couldn��t be mad at him

he was single then and had completely cut off every girl he’d ever had sex with the second you two started dating

so you immediately forgave him which was a huge relief for him

X-RAY (let’s see what’s going on under the belt)

JJ is packing

a good 8 inches when he’s fully hard 

and he’s decently thick too

his cock reaches places inside you that make your toes curl 

JJ has never really described himself as someone with a big dick, but once he saw your eyes widen when he first had sex with you

he thought maybe he might be bigger than average

which you love

there’s always a delicious stretch when he first enters you

YEARNING (how high is his sex drive?)

JJ is down to have sex whenever 

he loves having sex with you and has a stupidly high sex drive

he needs sex at least twice a week or he’s going to be grumpy 

so it was sort of an adjustment when he first started dating you

because it was at least a month until he took your virginity

so he was pretty grouchy for that month that he wasn’t having sex

he didn’t mind though because he was dating you and that’s way better than sex

ZZZ (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?)

JJ doesn’t fall asleep too quickly after sex

but since he does most of the work during sex, he’s usually pretty tired

but when he lays down with you, he will spend a few minutes talking to you before he falls asleep

he can last a good 10-15 minutes before he’s too tired to keep his eyes open

so you curl into his chest and fall asleep in his arms

heaven :)

[crystalwolfblog]

I Can’t Sleep Without You || Ivar x reader || Modern

This is my fic created for @ofmanderley’s writing challenge. My prompt was: It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me.

First of all I need to apologize because I am SUPER late with my work but life was kinda crazy and writing block wasn’t kind! 

Hope you will like it!

Being with Ivar Ragnarsson wasn't an easy task to perform. He was a man of a short temper; he could be cruel and mean but thankfully for him you were out of the reach of his anger. Ivar always did his best to keep his raging nerves away from you. For him, you were his little treasure, a lovely woman who was patient enough to even try to form any kind of relationship with him.

You got used to this life and no matter what everyone said, you stayed by his side.

Of course you didn't do this because Ivar forced you or blackmailed you. The love towards this man was simply too strong within you.

After two years of being together you learned that behind that huge, thick wall he built around himself was a suffering, lonely man that craved to be loved.

____________________________

There was one thing you loved to do right after work - paying a visit in the local cafe. It was a quiet, little, cozy place. You sat at your favourite table and placed your usual order - a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.

Last thing you expected that day was to see a familiar face.

"Y/N, I didn't expect to see you here," Bjørn smiled, sitting in the chair right in front of you.

"Hi, Bjørn," you greeted him, returning the smile. "How are you doing?"

Eldest Ragnarsson nodded. "Oh, I am doing just fine. Since I have a break at work, I decided to get myself a coffee and something sweet."

____________________________

"So, when do you have this big game of yours?," Ubbe asked, looking into his phone.

"Seriously? I am going on and on about it for weeks now. It's this weekend, Saturday to be exact," Hvitserk rolled his eyes; he grew annoyed by repeating himself on and on.

"Forgive him. I guess the family takes a lot out of our dear brother," Ivar chuckled.

All three of them walked down the street.

It was the first time in months when they could just meet and go out. Even if they didn't plan anything crazy, it still was nice to get reunited.

"I at least have a family, Ivar. You and Y/N could think about it as well," Ubbe shrugged, placing the phone back in his pocket. "Mother is still talking about it."

"Mother will talk. We both feel comfortable with how things are for now. I am not pushing her and she is not pushing me, to anything. We just live the best of our lives and we both are happy about that," Ivar answered, nodding.

"I mean, that's sound fair," Hvitserk commented.

Boys quickly changed the subject to something far way interesting to talk about. They walked  lively as they talked about some stuff.

The nice atmosphere lasted until Hvitserk stopped in front of a little cafe. Through the cafe's big window he spotted a familiar person, actually two to be exact.

You were sitting there, talking with Bjørn and giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Yo, Ivar? Isn't it Y/N?”

Ubbe and Ivar looked over their shoulders, and then joined Hvitserk.

Ivar frowned as soon as he spotted you.

Of course you going out wasn't a problem for him, you were a free woman after all but meeting with Bjørn? Out of all the people?! Fucking Bjørn. What else?! Maybe you were doing it regularly behind his back?

"I am going back home. Whatever idea you two had, go without me, I’m passing," crippled, young man muttered, tightening the grip on his crutch.

There was no reason to argue with Ivar at that point. They could see that he was pissed and arguing with angry Ivar was like teasing a bull with a red cape, it was the last thing they really needed that day or ever.

Ubbe and Hvitserk just shook their heads and then slowly walked away.

____________________________

You had no idea how long you sat there but you couldn't help it. Talking with Bjørn was really captivating. While listening to one of his stories you looked at your watch. "Oh, my! Bjørn, I am so sorry but I should go. I still have plans."

Bjørn looked at you and nodded slowly. “Yeah, sure. It was really nice to see you."

"Same! We need to meet up one day. Bye!," You quickly paid and left the cafe.

____________________________

The walk home was calm, you even texted Ivar that you are on the way back but for some reason he didn't respond. Maybe this should be a red flag but you shrugged it off, he probably was still with his brothers.

You didn't expect to see him in the flat. He was sitting on the couch, tapping his fingers angrily. It was more than obvious that he was mad.

"Love? Did something happen?," You asked, taking your jacket off.

"I don't know. You tell me, love."

Walking into the living room you looked at him with confusion written on your face. At this point you had no idea what he meant.

"What? You gonna stand there and make a fool out of me? You thought I won't find you? I wonder how long you go behind my back!,” Ivar growled, getting up from the couch.

Then it suddenly hit you. Did he see you in the cafe? After all he was out with Hvitserk and Ubbe, so there was a slight chance he did.

"Ivar. It's not like that. I was in a cafe and Bjørn just happened to be there as well."

"He? Happened to be there?," Ivar chuckled darkly. "You are blind, stupid or both!"

His behaviour was getting out of hand  but his accusations were too much for you to handle.

"Excuse me? Watch your words, Ivar."

"Me?! Watch my words?! These are words of truth! He was following you those fucking eyes ever since I brought you home for the first time. Ever since that day he accidentally happened to be in places that you are!," Ivar growled, shaking his head. "Of course you had to fall for this. What's next?! Are you gonna fuck him? Or Maybe Hvitserk?”

You went silent. How could he even have thought about something like that? He was hard to live with but you would never cheat on him, no matter how moody or annoying he was. His words cut you deeply.

The lack of response meant as much as a yes for him.

"Fuck it. I am leaving, no idea when I will be back," Ivar muttered and walked to a hanger to grab his jacket before leaving.

The door slammed loudly that you literally jumped in the place.

____________________________

House without Ivar seemed empty.

Maybe it was stupind to miss him after this argument but you couldn't help it. You really loved that man, no matter how moody he was. Even if it was hard to love him, you knew that he was different deep inside.

Laying in bed alone was odd, without his body next to yours. He always was there, mostly complaining about his legs or just talking about his day and how annoying his brothers were.

Sighing, you took his pillow and hugged it tightly, you wanted him back but he needed time to cool down. Looking at the clock helped you realize how sleepless your night was. It was almost morning.

____________________________

Ivar also couldn't sleep. He just lied in bed, smoking and looking into the ceiling. Aslaug would prabobly murder him for smoking inside the house but he didn't care, it's not like she would kick her crippled son out of the house.

Puffing out the smoke he watched it disappearing in the air.

He already missed you, so fucking much. Ivar looked at the bedside table and grabbed his phone to check the time.

____________________________

Trying to get some sleep, you laid on the bed, with eyes closed and Ivar's pillow under your head.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed.

You sat up and grabbed it; maybe it was Hvitserk? Or Ubbe? Maybe Aslaug? Maybe something happened to Ivar? You simply had to know.

To your own surprise, it was text from Ivar himself.

Ivar ❤️😈: It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me.

Chuckling, you felt the wave of relief washing over you. He was alive.

You: I can say the same. Where are you?

Ivar ❤️😈: I am at my parent's house.

You: I am happy that you are safe.

Meantime Ivar blonked looking at the screen. You were happy he was safe? You were worried about him.

Ivar ❤️😈: Were you worried?

You: Of course I was, dummy. I am always worried. Listen, I just want you to know that I don't care about Bjørn. All I care about is you, Ivar. Always and forever.

He looked at the text. You didn't have a reason to hurt him in any way, you always were patient with him. Even when he was a total asshole. No matter if the day was regular or filled with pain, you just were there for him.

Maybe the fear of losing you just clouded his judgement? Bjørn wasn't like him, he was a strong and healthy man when he was just a cripple. Who the hell would pick a cripple over a healthy man?!

He was jealous and scared but it was time to fix it.

____________________________

You waited at the message but nothing came. Maybe he just fell asleep or didn't care about your empty (for him at least) arguments. After giving him fifteen minutes, you send another text to make sure he is okay, and surprisingly you heard the sound of the SMS notification in the flat.

Ivar opened the door to your shared bedroom and rested his weight on the crutch, looking at you. Without any word he walked to the bed and sat down. He removed his braces, clothes, and soon you were wrapped in a tight hug.

"I am sorry," Ivar whispered.

You nuzzled to him. "It's fine."

"It's not, Y/N. I hurt you... All because of my insecurities. I was furious, he is Bjørn, big, strong, healthy. I am none of that, and you are beautiful, special. You deserve better,``he muttered, nuzzling to you.

While listening to him, you undone his bun and moved your hand through his hair. "Silly! I love you. I love you so much, no matter what. You are hard to deal with sometimes, that’s true but I still love you."

"You are too good to me, you know that?”

Giggling, you gently pulled on his hair, earning a soft growl from him. "You should be grateful and not point it out," you kissed his forehead. "We should get some sleep."

Ivar nodded, hugging you tightly. "Yeah, you are right."

Soon, both of you fell asleep, embracing each other tightly.

____________________________

[bibbawrites]

Don’t Get Caught - Owen Joyner x Reader (16+)

Request: mischievous/playful/giggly sneaking around with Owen on set or evading Charlie in their apartment

Word Count: 3142 words

Summary: You are a makeup artist on set for Julie and The Phantoms and quickly began messing around with Owen, but the fear of potentially losing your job if anyone finds out has the two of you sneaking around and trying your best to not be caught aka 4 times you and Owen were almost caught messing around and one time you were 

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, implied oral sex, reference to m*sturbation

A/N: hi all! so this is my first attempt at a jatp related fic so hopefully i do okay, sorry for any mistakes, most of this was written and edited from 2am-6am because those are my motivation hours  i also don’t usually write reader insert so fingers crossed i dont mess this up lol. i have a ton of requests to work through so keep an eye out for things coming soon (hopefully)  also, to the person who requested this, sorry it took so long (my dumb ass deleted 90% of it and had to start again) i really hope i did your idea justice :)

1. Makeup Trailer 

The first time you met Owen was on your first day on set. Kenny had dragged the cast in to meet you, and something about Owen drew you in and you just knew you had to get to know the beautiful blonde boy. 

Luckily your chance came sooner than expected when you were working alone in the makeup trailer a few days later. The door opened and Owen came in, smiling brightly when he saw you.

“Hey, you’re Y/N, right?” He asked. You nodded.

“I am.” You replied and he grinned.

“I’m Owen. Nice to meet you, again.” He said awkwardly.

You giggled at his awkwardness. 

“Nice to meet you again too. Sit down.” You gestured to the chair in front of you and he sat down. You got to work quickly, working in silence for a few minutes before Owen spoke up.

“So how long have you been doing makeup for? You look young.” He asked.

“I’ve been doing it professionally for 5 years now. I started working in my mum’s salon when I was 15, and when I graduated I did a course to get me this job.” You told him. He paused.

“So you’re 20?” He questioned, and you nodded.

“I am.” 

“Cool, I’m 19.”  He said, and you hummed in response, concentrating on making sure his face didn’t looked cakey.

“So are you from around here?” You shook your head.

“Nah I moved here from Quebec.” You said.

“Alone? Or with your family or... boyfriend?” Owen asked, the last part sounding slightly bitter.

“Yeah I came alone, my mum is too busy with her salon, and my siblings are still in school. And I don’t have a boyfriend.” You told him and he grinned slightly.

“Good to know.” He muttered quietly. You raised an eyebrow, not quite hearing him properly.

“Sorry?” You asked. He shook his head.

“Nothing.” 

“Okay...” You trailed off, not believing him. “Well you’re all done.”

“Already?” He frowned slightly. 

“Yep.” You smiled.

“Oh. Thanks.” He stood up, pausing slightly. 

“Can I get your number?” He asked, somewhat hesitantly. Realisation dawned on you.

“So that’s why you asked about a boyfriend.” You said, eyebrow raised. 

“Guilty.” He grinned cheekily.

“Give me your phone.” You held out your hand and he placed his phone in it, and you quickly added a new contact, typing in your number and texting yourself from his phone.

“There. I’ll text you pretty boy.” You said, handing him his phone back. He grinned.

“I’ll see you around Y/N.” He said, turning to leave for the hair trailer. You watched him leave with a smile on your face.

A week of texting and flirting later and you found yourself alone with Owen in the makeup trailer again.

“So what scenes are you filming today pretty boy?” You questioned as you began to apply his makeup.

“Why do you always call me pretty boy?” He asked, ignoring your question.

“Because you’re pretty? And a boy?” You said, pulling a face.

“Are you flirting with me?” He grinned, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe.” You said. He bit his lip.

“So if I tried to kiss you you’d say?” He asked, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Eh why not?” You said it like it was nothing but inside you were freaking out.

“Y/N.” He groaned and you giggled.

“Just kidding.” You teased.

“So?” He asked again after a moment of silence. You rolled your eyes.

“Oh my god just kiss me you dork.” Owen didn’t even take a second to think about it, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap, connecting your lips in a less than innocent kiss. Your lips fitted together perfectly, and he tasted faintly of blueberry and spearmint. After what felt like a lifetime he pulled away from you, leaving you panting and wanting more.

“Wow that was...” He was the first to speak, his voice breathy. You nodded.

“Yep.” You said simply. “I should probably...”

You stood up from his lap, and had barely stepped away when the door opened.

“Hey Y/N, one of my lashes came off and... oh...” Savannah’s voice came, the young actress pausing when she saw how close the two of you were.

“Hey Savannah.” You said with a smile. She returned your smile before glancing back at Owen.

“Sorry, did I interrupt something?” She asked. The two of you shook your heads.

“No, not at all.” You said.

“I was just leaving.” Owen added, standing up from his chair. Savannah raised an eyebrow.

“If you say so.” She replied as Owen left the trailer quickly. The door shut behind him and Savannah grinned at you.

“You like him.” She said, her tone teasing.

“No...” You denied. Savannah rolled her eyes.

“You so do Y/N. And I know Owen, he definitely likes you too.” She told you.

“If you say so.” You said, grabbing a new fake lash to fix the missing one.

Savannah grinned. 

“Oh I know so. You’ll see.”

2. Julie’s Bedroom Set

“Come on Y/N, what’s the worst that could happen?” Owen had said as he dragged you through the filming lot towards the set of Julie’s bedroom. You had been heading off to grab some lunch when he had intercepted you and asked if you wanted to “hang”, which by this point you knew was code for hide somewhere and make out for a while. You had originally said no, but those darn puppy eyes had made you say yes before you even realised you were saying it. 

“What if someone catches us?” You had questioned, but Owen silenced your worries with a blistering kiss that left you breathless. 

“We’ll be fine.” He muttered as he pulled away. “Don’t stress.” 

“Famous last words.” You muttered, allowing him to pull you back in and kiss you again. You ran your fingers through his hair, knowing that he would have to have it fixed up before his next scene anyways. 

It had been a few weeks since that first kiss in the makeup trailer, and since then you had learnt the taste and feeling of Owen’s lips on yours, a feeling that was now so familiar to you that it felt like second nature. 

You mindlessly kissed him back, thanking your past self for deciding to use your favourite chapstick flavour, choc mint, on him earlier that morning when you did his makeup for the day. 

You pulled away to take a breath and he grinned at you. 

“I’m glad we met.” He said. You blushed slightly.

“Me too.” You agreed.

He pulled you back in and kissed you again, this kiss more passionate than the last, and you shuffled closer to him, your lips never leaving his for a second. You could feel his hands resting on your waist, his tongue in your mouth, the scent of his cologne filling your nostrils.

Suddenly you heard a noise and you pulled away quickly, the fear of being caught overpowering your feelings for Owen.

“Someone’s coming.” You said quickly. Owen frowned.

“What?” He questioned.

“There’s someone coming.” You repeated and his expression changed to fear.

“Fuck, what do we do? Run?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes.” 

He grabbed your hands and pulled you up off the bed, linking your fingers together before dragging you off the set, the both of you giggling the whole way back to his trailer.

“It’s kinda fun, almost but not quite getting caught.” You admitted once the two of you were curled up on the couch in his trailer.

���It is.” He agreed. “But do you know what’s even more fun?”

“What?” You questioned.

“Making out with you.”

And if Owen went back to set with the taste of your orgasm on his tongue that was for only the two of you to know. 

3. Owen and Charlie’s Living Room 

You had just finished some finishing touches on Savannah’s makeup when Owen burst into the makeup trailer. 

“You’re all done.” You told Savannah and she grinned. 

“Thanks Y/N.” She stood up from the chair. “See you later. Bye Owen.” 

She glanced between the two of you, before turning and giving you a quick wink as she left, leaving you and Owen alone in the trailer. 

“So?” You spoke, beginning to pack up your brushes. “Why are you here?” 

“Well you see, I’m finished for the day and I checked your schedule and you are too, and I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my place to watch a movie and chill or something.” Owen spoke, plopping himself into one of the chairs and spinning around. 

"What about Charlie?” You asked, placing your brush bag into the large drawer of your makeup supplies. 

“He’s filming the Perfect Harmony scene with Madi. We’d have the place to ourselves for at least a few hours.” You paused, considering his offer. 

“Okay.” You replied simply. He cheered. 

“Are you ready to go now?” He asked, standing up, and you nodded. He grinned slightly, pulling you in and kissing you softly. 

“Hi, by the way.” He whispered once he pulled away. You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Let’s just go.” 

You somehow managed to make it off set and back to the building where most of the cast and crew were living without anyone noticing the two of you together.

“What floor?” You asked as you hopped into the elevator.

“6.” He replied, and you pressed the button, riding in silence to his floor. He took your hand, pulling you towards the apartment he shared with Charlie, unlocking the front door and dragging you towards the couch.

“So you mentioned a movie?” You said once the two of you were settled. Owen nodded. 

“I did, what do you wanna watch?” He asked. 

“I actually have a better idea.” You grinned, climbing on top of him, straddling his waist.

“Oh I see.” He replied, grabbing your top and pulling you down to kiss you roughly.

It felt like no time had passed at all when suddenly the front door unlocked.

“Fuck.” You said, jumping off him quickly and settling onto the couch next to Owen, pretending as if you’d been there the whole time. Charlie entered the room, frowning slightly when he saw you sat on the couch.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Charlie questioned, throwing his bag onto the chair. 

“I.. Um...” You stumbled. “I was just leaving.” 

You stood up quickly, thankful that the shoes you wore were slip on’s. 

Charlie eyed Owen carefully as the door shut and Owen shrugged.

“Should I ask?” Charlie questioned. Owen shook his head.

“Nope.”

4. Owen’s Bedroom 

After a couple of close calls on set and in the living room, the next time you came over you and Owen went straight to his room.

He laid down on his bed and you climbed on top of him, kissing him instantly.

“God you’re perfect.” He muttered, lips and tongues combining in a mess of passion and lust. Owen pulled at your shirt, tugging it over your head, and you did the same for him. His lips trailed down your neck, sucking gently to leave a mark.

The front door opened and Owen groaned.

“Shit, is that Charlie?” You asked. He nodded. “What do we do?”

“Uh... get in the closet.” He suggested and you giggled, grabbing onto your shirt so Charlie wouldn’t see it if he came in.

“Owen? You here?” Charlie called, and Owen dragged you into the closet, pulling the door shut behind you.

“Shh.” Owen whispered. You tried to hide your smile.

“I didn’t say anything.” You told him, and he rolled his eyes playfully. The door to Owen’s room opened and the two of you froze, bodies pressed together.

“God I hope that’s your phone pressed against my leg.” You whispered after a moment. Owen pulled a face in the darkness. 

“Uh... no.” He replied, and you giggled awkwardly. 

“Don’t laugh, this isn’t funny.” He whined.

“It is funny. We’re trapped in your closet waiting for Charlie to leave and you still manage to be turned on?” You questioned with a giggle

“I can’t help it when someone as attractive as you is pressed up against me. Plus you don’t have a shirt on so...” He trailed off.

“Oh yeah?” You pressed yourself against his body more forcefully. Owen groaned quietly. 

“Fuck, stop it.” He muttered. You smirked. 

“No.” You whispered, and Owen placed his hands on your waist. 

“Y/N...” His voice was low, and just the sound of it sent flutters through your stomach. 

“Owen...” You replied just as quietly. “Before you ask, I’m not gonna fuck you in a closet.” 

“Why not?” He whined. You rolled your eyes. 

“You shouldn’t even have to ask that question.” 

The front door slammed shut and Owen let out a sigh of relief, pushing open the closet door. You stepped past him and made your way over to the bed, Pulling your shirt back on before sitting down to pull your shoes on. 

“Wait where are you going?” He questioned, pouting. 

“Back to set, I have a job to do, remember?” You reminded him, tying your laces on your left shoe before reaching for the right. 

“Can’t you call in sick?” He tried. You raised an eyebrow. 

“From my lunch break?” He shrugged. 

“Food poisoning?” 

“Owen.” You gave him a look and he groaned, flopping onto the bed. 

“Fine. But what am I supposed to do about this?” He motioned towards his crotch. You stood up, grabbing your phone, and walked towards the door, pausing before you exited the room. 

“You have a hand. Use it.” And with that, you left. 

+1. Owen and Charlie’s Kitchen 

It was a day off from filming so you decided to have a lazy day. It was almost lunch time when you woke up, and you would have slept longer if it wasn’t for your phone ringing obnoxiously from its spot on your nightstand. 

You rolled over, grabbing the phone and answered without even checking the caller ID. 

“Hello?” You spoke, voice full of sleep. 

“Good morning, Charlie has gone for a hike, wanna come over?” Owen’s voice came through the phone. 

“Sure, why not. Give me half an hour to have a shower and get changed.” You replied, already climbing out of bed. Owen cheered causing you to smile slightly. 

“Awesome, I’ll see you in half an hour.” He said. “And don’t eat anything.” 

“Okay.” You replied, and before you could even say goodbye he had hung up. You rolled your eyes, throwing your phone back onto the bed and grabbing a simple outfit of a crop t-shirt and shorts out of your wardrobe, before heading into the bathroom to get ready. 

25 minutes later you were knocking on the door of Owen and Charlie’s apartment. The door opened, revealing a shirtless Owen, and you had to stop yourself from checking him out as he let you in. 

“Any reason why I wasn’t allowed to eat?” You questioned, following him down the hall into the kitchen. 

“Because, I thought we could make pancakes together.” He gestured to the pile of ingredients sitting on the counter. 

“How domestic. Didn’t realise we had become a married couple.” You teased, and he blushed slightly. 

“I just thought it would be fun.” He defended, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“It will be. And delicious.” You agreed.

He grinned, grabbing the ingredients. 

“Let’s get started then.” 

Somehow you found yourself sitting on the counter, eating the batter while Owen cooked the pancakes. 

“There!” Owen exclaimed, flipping the last pancake onto the plate he had gotten out. “All done.” 

He turned to face you, his smile turning into a look of concentration. 

“You have a little something...” He said, positioning himself between your legs. You paused, waiting for him to move. Slowly he lifted his hand, running his thumb along your bottom lip.

“Much better.” He muttered. The two of you were still, a stand off to see who would make the first move. You leaned in slowly, connecting your lips in a soft kiss.

It was as if the first brush of your lips opened the floodgates. Owen grabbed onto your thighs, dragging you forward, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, the pancakes long forgotten.

You tangled your hands through his hair, moaning slightly when you felt his hands on your ass, and he took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You were so caught up in each other that you didn’t even hear the front door open.

“Hey Owen, I forgot my-” Charlie’s voice came, stopping abruptly as he took in the scene in front of him.

Owen stepped away from you quickly, but even if Charlie hadn’t seen you kissing, it was obvious what the two of you had been up to.

No one blinked. Finally, Owen broke the silence.

“You were meant to be hiking all day.” He said, somewhat defensively.

“I forgot my phone, so I came back for it. I figured you’d be on the couch where I left you. I didn’t realise you’d be...” He stopped, focusing his attention on you. “Hi Y/N.”

You waved awkwardly.

“So...” Charlie looked between you and Owen. “Am I pretending I didn’t see this, or...” He trailed off. 

You and Owen shared a look before nodding.

“Just for now, at least.” You said, and Charlie nodded.

“Got it. Well, have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Oh, and if you have sex on the kitchen counter please clean it afterwards. I eat off that thing.” He winked at Owen and before either of you could respond he had left the room.

“Sorry about him.” Owen sighed slightly.

“You didn’t know he’d leave his phone. Besides, now we can hang out here together and not have to worry about Charlie walking in on something he doesn’t know about.” You replied, and Owen grinned, leaning in to kiss you again.

You had just started to find a rhythm in kissing again when a cleared throat broke you apart.

“Dude!” Owen exclaimed, glaring at Charlie who was leaning against the wall, grinning cheekily.

“Just wanted to say goodbye. And warn you that I’ll be back at 3, so make sure any... activities-” He winked suggestively. “Are done by then.”

“Get out.” Owen glared at him. Charlie grinned, turning to leave quickly.

“Bye Y/N!” He called back as he left.

“Bye.” You called, giggling slightly.

Owen rolled his eyes as the front door shut behind Charlie. Focusing his attention back on you he smiled slightly.

“Now where were we?” He questioned, pulling you back in and connecting your lips again.

And if you did end up having sex on the kitchen counter, Charlie would never have to know.

[sonybees]

harry potter character’s favorite way to waste time/guilty pleasures

includes: harry, ron, george, fred, cedric, draco, hermione, ginny, and luna

warnings: killing mentions, food mentions, death mentions, true crime mentions, sex mention (nothing happens though), all caps, one swear word, my really messy writing and let me know if there are any more!

a/n: bored and in dire need of a distraction. (and i do not want to do my assignments). kind of? modern!au. some of these can also pass as their guilty pleasures. some of you may not agree so if you don’t, please be nice about it if you decide to tell me, thank you! i got this idea from this post. (4)

Harry

seems like he would be into sitcoms

brooklyn 99 vibes

idk i feel he would really enjoy these things

he’d just stay in on weekends when voldemort isn’t trying to kill him

he’d be in his dorm and just chilling with a laptop and some pumpkin juice, chocolate frogs, maybe even ron’s brownies (you’ll understand what i mean)

he’d literally just do that

maybe under the covers

or at 3 am

the boys wouldn’t really mind but they’re concerned ‘cause he has been watching it all day

but he was fine (i think)

really, he’d just binge watch his favorite sitcoms

like brooklyn 99, big bang theory, parks and rec and all that cool stuff

he’s just vibing

Ron

eat.

need i say more?

actually i do have some stuff to add

i like to think that he’s amazing at baking

he may be a little clumsy at times but he actually ends up doing a great job at cooking/baking.

he only ends up baking when he was actually really really bored out of his mind

which happens way more times than you think excluding the times wherein he accompanies his best friends where they almost die a billion times

when at the burrow and raining, stuck inside, you can probably find ron in the kitchen

george and fred would probably tease him but they all know that they’ll ask for some of what ron has baked

he has also probably cooked in the kitchens at hogwarts

like, he probably snuck out late at night

seamus found a box of brownies in their dorm room and they just smelled and looked too delicious

he ate them.

dean was there too and they just devoured the box of brownies

neville was a bit reluctant but it did look delicious so he tried a bite

felt like heaven

ron and harry came in.

ron was furious to say the least

they never expected that it would be ron who made those

especially since he thought that if ron baked something, he would eat all of them in one sitting

but even to ron’s surprise, he didn’t and decided to save them in a box

he felt so proud of himself though when they said what he baked tasted amazing and he forgave them… after a week but it’s alright

Fred

the type of person to stare at himself in the mirror and just fix his hair

and do a fashion show alone in his room

i just know he’d love that

he’d be playing some upbeat music too

just catwalking in front of his mirror

trying on some clothes that he hasn’t worn in a while

mix matching some clothes that literally don’t match but fred weasley can always make it work

also stole some clothes from ginny and molly’s closets

his favorite would probably be ginny’s crop tops

just saying

“you look hot.”

yeah, he said that to himself.

harry walked in on him when he visited the burrow once. he just took what he needed and left the room awkwardly. never spoke about it again.

George

he would watch documentaries fight me on this

either true crime or nature/wildlife

he would love buzzfeed unsolved and national geographic i just know it

he would gush about it to fred too

“did you know that baby koalas are called joeys? they’re all born blind and earless! but they climb up to their mother’s pouch and they grow and develop there. man, i wish i could stay in a pouch until i’m mature and know how to deal with my problems. or until all my problems go away. i prefer that.”

“yeah, yeah. now pass me my quill.”

in their dorm at 3 am:

“hey, you know the zodiac killer right?”

“no.”

“well, you know how he makes these letters with like-”

“hey, sorry to interrupt but it’s 3 am, george. i’ll listen to this tomorrow.”

“oh shit- it’s 3 am? sorry lee, goodnight.”

i feel badhsdjgk

Cedric

this isn’t exactly a waste of time

but he’s probably a tutor at hogwarts

so he tutors in his free time

maybe not even a tutor session just helping a friend out

he would also probably mess around more than he would like to admit

like he jokes around with his friends and confuse them on their assignments a bit for fun

but it’s all light hearted fun

and he would actually show them afterwards how to do it or the answers

or not

he would never do that to younger ones though because that’s just too mean in his opinion

but if he’s close to them? yeah

if he’s too close to them and for some reason he got assigned to tutor them, it’s not always that they’ll take it seriously

they might even end up watching a movie or playing quidditch

who knows

but he messes around when he’s tutoring his friends :)

Draco

self care.

literally he has a whole drawer of face masks and creams

they all have their own bathrooms in their dorms for this one

would probably take a long hot bath while drinking a cup of butterbeer and listening to ominous music

he would wash up, shave,  put on a face mask and literally just sit back and relax

he puts some cream on his face and some stuff on his hair

he even tried nail polish once with the help of pansy

absolutely loved it

tried it again and again

he loves black nails

and sometimes green

it’s just great

he usually does this at weekends

but you’ll never know

he might be super stressed out that crabbe and goyle already know the drill

or he just really wants to do them

Hermione

this would come as a bit of a shock

but

shh come closer

she watches romantic movies

and likes them more than she would ever admit

she’d say it’s stupid at first

but she wouldn’t even notice the fact that she’s been staring at the screen for 30 minutes

she’d probably be frustrated and shout a few times

she hid it well for a while

until ron and harry walked in one her screaming at her screen

“OH MY GOSH JUST KISS HER ALREADY!”

“oh- i didn’t hear you guys walk in-”

they just found it funny and never really bothered her about it

they even joined her a few times 

“jo, c’mon don’t be so oblivious.”

“OH MY GOSH!” 

“YES OMG!”

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THERE WOULD BE SEX SCENES!”

“I DIDN’T KNOW RON OKAY?”

“AUGUSTUS NO!”

they cried.

if you know what i mean.

Ginny

she would honestly really like reading

no one would really expect it because no one would ever think that ginny weasley

“quidditch star”

“boyish”

“oh, she would never read.”

wrong.

she loves reading and that is a fact

she’d probably read a few good stuff i don’t read much books so you can imagine yourself what books she would read sorry!

there are also others like twilight, fifty shades of grey no. harry potter what?

anyways 

she would love to read a ton of stuff 

she’d even sneak out at night to go to the library

we all know she’d successfully sneak out

at one point, hermione talks about a book she read and ginny just so happened to love that book

she basically spilled all her thoughts about it

mione would be surprised but glad

i feel she would also be into writing

she has some poems in her journal in her drawer

she never really showed anyone

maybe she will in the future though

Luna

she has probably written a play at least once

okokokokok 

i just really love the idea of writer!luna or director!luna

or even actress!luna

no like seriously i love that

we all know she’s very creative

she would be able to write something amazing

includes fairies, unicorns, goblins, mermaids

the magical creatures in the wizarding world would be included in this play

maybe a bit of action

adventure! absolutely.

wouldn’t really write that much romance but she could

she’d send it in to professor mcgonagall at one point in hopes of starting some sort of theatre club

minnie was amazed

she asked dumbledore if they could do it and they did

at first, only a few people joined but the club slowly increased

and they were able to make the play!

she spends her free time writing plays :)

ending a/n: okay, i got a bit too carried away. i even ended up talking about their future at one pointjkf. but like, i loved writing this and i did it only in one sitting so i am so sorry if it sucks. this was so messy but i still hope you guys enjoyed it!

tags: @quadrupledeckertaco @audreysmusings @georgeweasley19 @krasivayadarling @crookedhag

some people that i think would be interested: @lunalovecroft @cherryweasleys @oldschoolkiddo @sirlorelai @george-fabian-weasley @whizboingies @mullthingsoverinthehotwater (no pressure! you don’t have to read if you don’t like :))

[pillage-and-lute]

An Ever Fixed Mark (Part 3)

 Part 1 Part 2 (here) Part 4 Part 5 Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,

Read it on Ao3 HERE

It’s back! The boys get hitched, and Geralt gets nervous. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days.

Three entire, fucking awful days until the wedding.

Geralt had paced in their quarters, he had paced in the halls, he had paced in the courtyard (after getting lost and pacing until a footman found him). He had taken Roach out for a ride and paced her.

It wasn’t just cold feet, pre wedding jitters, or the usual sort.

He was afraid for Jaskier, afraid for himself, and afraid of letting down witchers. If Jaskier became unhappy in their marriage the contract was void. Jaskier didn’t seem happy in Lettenhove but it was comfortable and he had plenty to eat and a warm place to sleep. Nice clothes. Like minded, well educated people. The list just kept getting longer.

Geralt had to keep him happy.

More than that, he’d have to keep him safe. The path was dangerous, no place for an Earl’s son who’d only known luxury. He understood Jaskier had been at Oxenfurt, so he must know something of the world, but only of the academic world. He’d studied literature and music, what good was that for a witcher’s companion?

He liked Jaskier. It would be hard not to. But would he like him on the Path, as a constant companion? Another person to look after, another mouth to feed? He liked Jaskier, but he also barely knew him. He knew he was young, thankfully unafraid of witchers, but could he fight? Would he do as he was told? 

And Geralt would be around him all the time. 

Geralt didn’t like being around anyone All. The. Time.

He needed space even at Kaer Morhen, sometimes disappearing into his room all day, or if the weather allowed just taking Roach into the forest for a day.

Eskel was beating the stiffness from Geralt’s muscles again, the evening of the day before the wedding, and said quietly, in between vertebrae numbing digs,

“You ever think all that worrying will be a self fulfilling prophesy?”

“Hmmm...OW Eskel the fuck!”

“Listen, first of all I didn’t even do it that hard. Geralt, you’re my brother, and I know you better than anyone. You get all trapped in your head, and you worry, ‘cause you don’t understand people. You think you’re different.”

“I am different.”

“Don’t interrupt me,” Eskel said, popping Geralt’s back with well placed pressure. “You’re different, okay. I don’t know what all they did to you with that extra trial. I don’t think Vesemir knows, really, no one does. But I remember you before, alright? You were like this before. It isn’t a bad thing, some people just don’t always get other people. Jaskier does though. Allow him to understand you, don’t try and understand him all at once.”

Eskel finished the massage with a truly bone-wrenching press. “I think you could be really good for each other, just don’t...don’t go and mess it up just because you think you shouldn’t have something good.”

“Hmmm.”

Geralt woke up on his wedding day feeling hungover, except he hadn’t been drunk last night. 

Eskel didn’t look well rested either, although he had a sort of stupid grin on his face. Mabel had been by a few times in the past days, and Eskel at least was having the time of his life. 

Judging by the scratch marks she’d left all down his back, she’d been having the time of hers as well. 

Geralt sunk into the bath, which had been tepid by the time the tub had been lugged up the stairs and servants had filled it with water. Igni took care of that, and Geralt sat and steamed behind a little standing wooden panel that the servants had also brought. 

The little modesty panel room divider had been a source of some amusement for the witchers. Body shyness was bred out of witchers before it had time to form. Lambert did comment, however, that it would be nice not to have to watch Geralt sit and cook in the bath like a boiling potato.

Rosewater had been put in the bath, not much, and it wasn’t a strong scent, but to witcher senses it was heady. 

Geralt scrubbed his hair. Then Vesemir scoffed and told him he was too gentle. Vesemir practically beat his scalp into submission.

Geralt had a gold doublet and he felt like a ponce. Lambert insisted that he couldn’t wear black to a wedding, and certainly not his own. Geralt wanted to protest, but he couldn’t, not really. None of the wolves were wearing black, and if the occasion had pried black from Vesemir, then it really was time for colors.

Lambert was in a mahogany brown-red, and looked almost dashing, if a little rougish. Eskel was in dark green, he looked good, too. If Maybel was serving at the wedding there would almost certainly be some appreciative remarks. Vesemir was wearing brown. If he couldn’t wear black, Geralt supposed a neutral color was the next best thing. 

It was still inexplicably a party brown. There was some quilting on the sleeves of the doublet done in a coppery thread and, all in all, Vesemir looked as festive as Geralt had ever seen him.

Geralt didn’t look festive, he looked like Midas had touched him, then, when apparently that wasn’t enough, covered him in glitter and embroidery. The wedding was to take place outside, and Geralt wondered if he wouldn’t blind people. Still, looking at the School of the Wolf, he thought he at least had a rather handsome entourage. 

His face was scrubbed and, short of the miraculous disappearance of a couple scars, he was as handsome as he could get. Lambert had pulled his hair back with a couple braids. Also, in Geralt’s opinion, poncy, but he’d seen a few of the other nobles in a similar style so perhaps he’d best leave it to fashion and not put up a fuss. 

They were lead by a footman, more a foot boy, with a face full of freckles and unfortunate ears, to a garden. It was probably a bower but Geralt didn’t know about horticulture. Trees had been planted and then twisted by someone dreadfully patient into a sort of cathedral of arching limbs. Spring meant flowers, and they were everywhere. The trees were the flowering sort, almond trees with fragrant blossoms. Delicate petals had fallen to the ground in a sort of pale carpet. Every time a breeze blew a few more drifted to the ground like spring snowflakes. Smaller, brighter flowers abounded near the edges of the manmade clearing. Their perfume was giving Geralt a headache, but he couldn’t blame the knee-knocking terror on them. 

Little stone benches had been arranged in rows, but were empty as of yet.  Vesemir sat in the position traditionally meant for the father of the groom. Eskel was best man, with Lambert beside him as the other groomsman. 

And they waited in silence, blossoms falling around them as Geralt’s knees turned progressively into liquid.

He felt sick.

He might throw up.

The image of stuffing his head into one of the bushes of pink and yellow roses and puking lurked threateningly in his head.

Lambert smirked at him unsympathetically. 

Ladies swept in, dusting petals from benches and hanging little baskets of flowers off the back of the benches. Geralt absently wondered what for, all the while fighting his roiling stomach.

He’d been too nervous to eat this morning, and now he was worried it would growl during the service, but if he ate now he’d vomit for sure.

His flower question was answered when a broomstick-thin lass came up to him with a basket in hand and nervously proffered a little twist of flowers. He took it, baffled. One of the funny pink and yellow roses, something purple, a bit of greenery, and a couple almond blossoms. He glanced at Vesemir, questioningly, who pointedly stuck the flowers in a decorative slit in his doublet. 

Next to him, another girl nudged the skinny, nervous one out of the way. He recognized Mabel. She gave him a cheerful grin.

“Switched places with Leeann for the day,” she whispered to Eskel. One of her hands slid slowly up his chest, wrapped in green silk. “And I’m so glad I did.” She stuck the boutonniere into the collar, his doublet lacking anywhere else, and sent him a wink that, in more conservative countries, got women jailed.

Past Eskel, the nervous girl was holding flowers out to Lambert. They shivered in her grip. Instead of the vicious grin Geralt expected, Lambert gave her a polite smile and an attempt at a courtly bow. She scuttled off and he tucked the flowers into a small pocket on his doublet, looking at his brothers and shrugging.

Geralt looked at the twist of flowers in his hand. They seemed very easily bruised and broken in his fingers. He didn’t have anywhere to tuck them. 

Eskel came to the rescue.

“There’s a little slit here somewhere,” he said, poking at the embroidery on Geralt’s chest. He found it. “Ah, here we go, just stick those in there.” Geralt did. “You almost look presentable.” Eskel said, not totally unkindly. 

Then he must have seen the raw terror in Geralt’s eyes. 

“It’ll be fine, brother,” Eskel said, clapping him on the shoulder. “You look good.”

Eskel stepped back into place, sending a wink towards Mabel, lined up near the back with the other housemaids. 

Guests slowly filtered in. 

There were more jewels and crystals about the throats and in the hair of the ladies than Geralt had ever seen before. Geralt felt a little better about his golden doublet, because there wasn’t an outfit on the benches that didn’t glitter. 

Then a couple minstrels struck up a sweet, simple tune, and two little children entered. A girl in an almond blossom crown was scattering pink petals on the already well-petaled floor. She was so sweetly serious about her duty, solemnly distributing the petals, that coos and chuckles filtered through the crowd. The little boy was holding a cushion with wedding bands. 

Geralt cursed mentally and began to panic. He’d left Jaskier’s mother’s ring in their rooms. It was too late to get it. He felt even more sick. Vesemir gave him a worried look and Geralt took a deep breath. They could always swap the ring out later.

A young woman in a pale blue dress entered, holding a small bouquet of the white almond blossoms. She was followed by another young woman, in the same dress and a very similar bouquet. Bridesmaids, Geralt supposed. One of them reached down and took the hand of the little flower girl. The ring bearer, slightly older, stood without a hand, but fidgeted. Geralt could sympathize.

The music changed.

A slow processional began and a hush fell on the crowd.

 The Earl stepped forward, Jaskier on his arm. The earl wore grey, like a dove, but Jaskier.

Jaskier.

Well.

Wow.

He wore pearly white, with a crown of almond blossoms and roses, and every inch of his doublet was covered in tiny, delicate seed pearls. In this beautiful bower, with delicate flowers all around, he looked like the spirit of this place. Like a dryad made of almond blossoms and sunlight. 

He was beautiful. Truly breathtaking.

He wore no boutonniere, and his hands were free of bouquets. Geralt’s stomach chose this exact moment to remind him that he really, really wanted to throw up right now. His head pounded and his knees felt weak.

He vaguely registered the slow procession being brought up at the rear by a priest in white. Next to Jaskier, the white looked dull and lifeless as the priest took his place.

“Who gives this man,” the priest croaked.

“I do,” the earl said, linking Jaskier’s hand with Geralt’s and sitting in the mirror of Vesemir’s position. 

Geralt looked at that hand, so delicate in his giant paw. He thought of the flowers tucked into his doublet, so easily crushed. 

The priest was saying something about eternity, but Geralt’s blood was rushing in his ears. Jaskier was looking at him too, but Geralt’s gaze was locked on their hands. 

Vows were said, and Geralt was lucky they were short. 

“From this cup we shall drink,” Geralt repeated, taking a sip of wine from a goblet that appeared out of nowhere and handing it to Jaskier. 

“And we shall share this wine as we share our lives,” Jaskier said, taking a sip.

“All the days of our lives,” the priest said, taking the goblet.

“All the days of our lives,” Geralt and Jaskier said in unison. Their eyes met for the first time, and Geralt’s stomach protested. 

“Have you the rings” intoned the priest. The little ringbearer stepped up. Jaskier took a wedding band and thanked the boy with a smile. Eskel nudged Geralt and palmed a ring into his hand, Jaskier’s mother’s ring. 

The ringbearer took this well in his stride and went back to his place. 

Jaskier smiled up at Geralt, then carefully slipped the little golden band onto Geralt’s finger. Geralt gulped, Jaskier’s smile slipped a little, looking concerned, and Geralt wondered what he’d seen in his face. 

His big fingers fumbled a little with the delicate ring, but he slid it into place on Jaskier’s finger. It fit as exactly as it had in the little study, which seemed very long ago now.

“You may kiss the groom,” said the priest. 

It felt like a badger was gnawing Geralt’s intestines. He slid his hands hesitantly around Jaskier’s waist. The young man’s arms wrapped around his neck. It would have been nice if Geralt wasn’t so nauseous. 

Geralt gave Jaskier a peck. 

He pulled back and caught Jaskier’s disappointed look, but then they were being ushered back down the aisle and into the hall and there were congratulations. Bells were ringing, people were throwing rice, Geralt’s head was pounding like his brain was about to leak from his ears. 

Out on the steps of the chateau they were handed plates, most of the wedding party were, and they smashed them on the ground, to the misery of Geralt’s poor head. 

Jaskier seemed to be having a wonderful time, laughing as the porcelain smashed and shining even brighter in the bright sunlight on the steps. Geralt longed for the dimmer lighting of the glade. Jaskier kept looking over at Geralt, and the laughter in his eyes kept dimming. 

It made Geralt’s ribs ache to see. He knew he must be scowling, but the thought that Jaskier’s day was being ruined by him was awful. He wasn’t an ideal husband but surely he wasn’t that bad. It definitely didn’t bode well.

The tide of people bore them into the great hall, and they were sat at the front table with the earl and Amaria. Vesemir and Geralt’s brothers were at another table and Geralt felt very alone. 

“Is everything alright?” Jaskier asked, leaning in close to whisper in Geralt’s ear.

“Headache,” Geralt grunted. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier said, rubbing his thumb over Geralt’s wrist. On his finger, the opal caught the light. The young man’s shoulders slumped a little. “I’m sorry too that you’ve been roped into all this,” he released Geralt’s wrist. “I know this isn’t your choice.”

It wasn’t Geralt’s choice of course. But if he was getting married, Jaskier didn’t seem like a bad husband. There was something in Jaskier’s eyes, though, a sort of wistful distance. It occurred to Geralt that Jaskier was in this arranged marriage too. This wasn’t his choice. From what he’d said before, the viscount had probably grown up believing he’d be able to marry for love, or at least someone he liked and was of suitable social status.

Geralt wondered if the young man wasn’t looking around at his own wedding, wishing love were the base of it after all. True love, a smile during the procession, giggles during the ceremony and little jokes and kisses during the reception, instead of a witcher with a headache. 

Geralt realised that he didn’t know if Jaskier liked men at all. Perhaps he was looking around wishing some pretty noble lady was wearing white instead of he. 

Clanging started up as first one, then many people tapped spoons to glasses. 

“They want us to kiss,” Geralt said numbly.

“Yes,” Jaskier said, turning towards Geralt and leaning in. At least he didn’t seem to horribly mind kissing men. Geralt rested a hand, the one towards the audience, on Jaskier’s face, hiding the view of their lips. Then he leaned in and kissed the air less than a centimeter from Jaskier’s mouth. 

It satisfied the crowd, but Jaskier looked unhappy as he pulled back. Had he minded the play acting? Did he just want Geralt to let them ring the glasses indefinitely? Had Geralt crossed a line, even pretending to kiss him? Jaskier stared at his lap.

Geralt stared at his own.

They both picked at dinner. Sounds swirled in Geralt’s ears.

“Geralt.”

He wouldn’t have heard it but for his enhanced hearing. To anyone else it was just another murmur of conversation, the susurrus of the ballroom. Geralt looked up, to meet eyes with Eskel. 

“Geralt,” Eskel said. “Don’t mess it up, you deserve nice things.”

Geralt nodded, and Eskel broke their locked gazes. 

Some of the headache had subsided by now, and it was too late to be nervous. He took a big swig of the wine. 

Jaskier may not have wanted to marry him, may be dreaming of a different wedding day, but Geralt could still make it memorable. He took another swig of the wine and wished it were stronger.

Dancing hadn’t been planned, but there was music and a clear space between tables. Geralt stood and took Jaskier’s hand, giving him an only slightly wan smile.

Jaskier looked baffled, but followed Geralt to the impromptu dancefloor. The minstrels picked up on what was going on, and a rather cheerful waltz was struck up. 

Geralt wasn’t much of a dancer, but he’d been taught the basics long ago, and Jaskier was an excellent partner. His skill made up for Geralt’s more clumsy footwork. Geralt slid his hands to Jaskier’s hips, keeping his grip firmly appropriate, then lifted Jaskier into a twirl he’d seen once before at a ball he’d been forced to attend.

In that case, the lady’s skirt had swirled and swished most attractively. Here, Jaskier’s slightly wilted flower crown came off, but Jaskier was laughing, head back, the sound like sunshine. The crowed oohed appreciatively at the display and Geralt guided his new husband down to the ground again.

Jaskier’s fancy footwork saved them from stumbling into one another but Geralt wasn’t paying attention. He’d saved Jaskier’s wedding day, or at least he hoped, this portion of it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw motion, Lambert flinging the recovered flower crown to Geralt. He snatched it from the air and placed it firmly back on Jaskier’s head, to applause. 

More couples joined the dancefloor, and soon it was pretty crowded. Jaskier led them back to the head table, giggling a little. 

The earl wasn’t dancing, and Amaria looked wistful, or perhaps just distant, it was so hard to tell with her.

“Look,” Jaskier whispered, pointing surreptitiously at a couple. It was Eskel. Geralt half expected him to be dancing with Mabel, but she was busily serving tables.

Besides, Geralt reflected. Theirs wasn’t a romance, per say, more simple physical appreciation.

No, Eskel had the little flower girl standing on his boots, and was happily spinning them about the dancefloor. He took great, hopping steps that bounced her about, holding her hands gently to keep her grounded. Geralt listened carefully and, in the din of the hall, picked out her delighted, pealing laughter. 

Lambert liked dancing, and Geralt carefully pointed him out to Jaskier, as he showed the shy, thin housemaid how to do one of the fancier spins. 

Jaskier seemed to delight in the people watching, and they chuckled together at a couple, a very large, glamorously dressed woman with her small, slim beau. She whirled him about, sometimes holding him entirely off the ground. 

“He doesn’t seem to mind,” Jaskier said.

Geralt looked at the man’s expression as he was crushed against a frankly enormous bosom. It looked blissful. “No, he certainly doesn’t.”

Vesemir approached their table.

“My congratulations,” he said to Jaskier. He gave a handshake and then pulled the lad into a warm hug. “Welcome to the family,” he whispered. 

“A fine party,” he then said, to the earl and Lady Amaria. “If you do not care for dancing,” this was adressed to the earl. “Would the lady perhaps wish to join me for a dance?”

“By all means,” said the earl, waving Vesemir away. Lady Amaria smiled absently and limply took Vesemir’s hand. 

Geralt knew trading dances was usual, but he was curious to see his mentor dancing. As he watched the couple, he saw Vesemir conversing with her ladyship, whispering into her ear. Even Geralt’s advanced hearing couldn’t catch the words.

After the dance Vesemir returned Amaria to her seat. Perhaps it was a fluke, but she looked more alert. Then the earl tapped his knife to his crystal goblet. 

It had the same effect as a drop of ink falling into clear water.

Silence spread through the hall, twisting between couples and curling around tables until everything was still.

The earl stood. 

Like his son he was a fairly tall man, and in the grey, with his steely eyes and sharp demenour he didn’t just command attention, he demanded it. He got it, too, as men rich enough to have dungeons in their basements tend to.

“I wish to make a toast to my son,” he gave a smile like a stiletto. “And his new husband.

“Before, witchers have been seen as wicked mutants, monsters,” a tiny pause, like the glint of a crossbow bolt. “Butchers.” 

Unease was in the hall, and there was something in the earl’s voice, he was a truly charismatic speaker. And a dick. 

“Long has it been known how they viciously kill, dismember, and pillage.”

“No,” Jaskier whispered under his breath. The words had really set the cat among the pigeons. A few short sentences reminded the crowd of their distrust. The flower girl, still standing next to Eskel, was ushered away from him. Lamberts dance partner was edging away.

“Of course, not anymore,” the earl continued, snakelike. “And it behooves us to make a contract, that so long as they act appropriately, they are to be treated as other migrant workers.”

Damn, Geralt thought. Migrant workers weren’t treated that well, and after this speech...well. 

“It brings me great joy to marry off my only son,” the earl gripped Jaskier’s collar and hauled him to a standing position. “Although many of you know, he is more of a daughter,” here the earl gave an unpleasant chuckle. “And a troublesome one at that, not much of a warrior, too headstrong for knighthood...but today he sacrifices for his people.”

The earl’s voice swelled, an impressive, ringing oration, like a good preacher ringing home the moral point. “He sacrifices much, and it is sad, I am, that I may never see my son again, to submit him to the ravages of a witcher,” a vicious breath, “’s lifestyle.”

Lambert looked murderous, Eskel betrayed. Vesemir’s face was entirely impassive. Granite. Unreadable.

“But we each make sacrifices for the greater good, and I place my faith in our people, as I have always done. My, admittedly troublesome, shameless son has become part of a new...family.” Family was said like it poisoned the tongue. “And my people become my children. I work for your benefit, my beloved subjects, and today, so does my son, Julian. Three cheers for the new couple!”

Three very hesitant cheers were given, then Geralt and Jaskier were very nearly pushed into a room.

“What the fuck?”

“Evil, stupid, bastard,” Jaskier cursed at the same time. 

Jaskier looked furious, but there were tears in his eyes.

“Jaskier,” Geralt said, crossing to the young man and guiding him to sit on the huge, lavish bed. Their marriage bed, Geralt supposed. “Jaskier I don’t understand, what was all that.”

“He couldn’t resist humiliating me, his last chance, I suppose,” Jaskier said, pulling off his boots. “But it’s worse what he did to you lot.”

A tap at the door. Geralt opened it hesitantly, but it was the wolves, and there was fire in Vesemir’s eyes.

“I didn’t know,” Jaskier said, looking up at Vesemir pleadingly. “I swear I didn’t know what he would do.”

“I understand lad,” Vesemir said, but the fire in his eyes didn’t bank. At least it wasn’t directed at Jaskier, who looked positively wilted.

“I don’t,” Geralt said. “He said, some awful stuff, he referenced Blaviken, I get that, but what does it mean.” 

“The common people don’t know the specifics of out contract,” Jaskier said. “Most of them can’t read, and they’ll never see the document in any case. He implied that you’re going to...well, that ravaging bit, he implied that there is a consumation requirement, and the rumors about witchers...”

“Ah,” Geralt said. The rumors about witchers were never kind, what they said about their sexual interests he didn’t know, nor cared to find out, but they wouldn’t be kind. 

“I’m rather well liked by our people,” Jaskier continued, tearfully. “Father’s convinced most of them that I’m simple, but I make a point to be kind and a kind reputation goes around. They’ll hate and fear witchers even more.” He began to cry in earnest, not loudly, but hot, angry tears rolled steadily down flushed cheeks.

“Worse, now,” he said, looking up at the witchers. “He’s some sort of martyr, sacrificing his son to keep the horrible witchers at bay.”

“That’s not even what he said!” Lambert exploded. He’d been fuming this whole time, but his temper was short and he was done.

‘No,” Eskel said. “But that’s what rumor will make of it. He’s going to be seen as some sort of a self-sacrificing hero.”

“He’ll probably use it to raise taxes,” Jaskier said, damply. “And I doubt witcher treatment will get better either.”

“But then, is the contract void?” Geralt asked. 

“Not officially,” Vesemir grumbled. “Improved conditions hold de jure, but not de facto.”

Jaskier shivered. “If the contract is voided everything will only get worse.” The witchers looked at him. “Whatever reason the contract becomes void, Father will say I was mistreated. That’d be enough to convince most of the country to go to war with witchers, all witchers.”

“It wouldn’t take much,” Vesemir mused.

“And I’d be a ruined woman, except that I’m a man.”

“What?” said the witchers.

“I’d have been married,” Jaskier explained, fiddling with the ring. “And no matter the situation, in Lettenhove the woman is almost always blamed for the failure of the marriage. There is no woman in our marriage, but I take on that role, If I’m mistreated, I should have better pleased my husband.”

“That’s idiotic,” Lambert said.

“I’d never be married off again either,” Jaskier continued. “Not only was I ruined, I was ruined by a witcher.”

A deep, heady pause.

“I could probably even be put to death, for failing the contract and shaming my father.”

‘But your people like you,” Geralt said. 

“They won’t if I’m the reason we go to war with the witchers,” Jaskier said. Then, a little more brightly, “At least whatever happens, I wont be an earl. My father may be a rat bastard and a small minded pig and a...” he paused searching for more insults.

“A cunt?” offered Lambert. 

“Yes, thank you, a cunt. But he’s right about one thing, I’d be a very poor earl. No head for politics, I can understand it, I just can’t do it.” He looked up at the witchers apologetically. 

“And now because of me,” he said, “You’ve all been dropped right in it.”

“No worries, lad,” Vesmir said, clapping him on the shoulder in a gesture that made Jaskier’s spine visibly buckle. “We’ve been dropped in it before. As it happens, I may have caused some political trouble for your father all by myself, and it might even be better if we leave a little earlier than planned.”

All the boys looked baffled, but Vesemir looked satisfied.

“Can we leave tomorrow?” Jaskier asked hopefully. “I don’t have much stuff and I want to get out of here.”

The witchers agreed, and then Jaskier and Geralt were left alone with just one bed.

Geralt coughed awkwardly.

“I thought there wasn’t a consummation requirement,” he said.

“There isn’t,” Jaskier said, taking off his flower crown, now quite battered. “There isn’t explicitly, I mean, but there is a hidden fidelity agreement.”

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. He meant a panicky, ‘what!’, but couldn’t say it.

“We both need to be happy in our marriage, if word get’s back to father that either of us is sleeping with someone else, well...”

Shit. Geralt thought. Shit shit shit.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” he said aloud. 

There were no extra clothes in the chamber, meaning no sleep clothes, so they both undressed to undershirts and smallclothes, then Jaskier snuffed out the candle.

On either side of the large bed, there was plenty of room between them. 

Geralt heard a sniffle. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, feeling awkward.

“I’m fine,” Jaskier said. “It’s silly anyway.”

“Can’t be silly if you’re crying over it.”

“It’s just, this isn’t exactly...” Jaskier trailed off, but Geralt thought he had it.

“Isn’t how you pictured your wedding day?” he asked.

“Exactly,” Jaskier sniffled.

Geralt didn’t know what to do, but he stretched an arm out, above the soft covers, and covered Jaskier with an arm. The young man turned over, so they were facing one another, and inched a little closer.

It wasn’t an embrace, not nearly, but it had a whisper of the same emotion.

Geralt listened to his new husband silently cry himself to sleep on their wedding night, and wished there was some way he could help.

A part of him, long suppressed, was crying too, for the bright and cheerful young man in his arms.

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Wow  5000 words that I basically had to thumbscrew from my brain. 

Taglist! Tags were being weird, let me know if I didn’t add you, forgot to add you, added the wrong person, etc.

@llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @aziz-the-fangirl @mordoriscalling @bastardofmothman @negativenuggetz @morte-mistrata @ailorian @hayleynzlive @filledepluie @bygodstilliam @sociowithatardisachevyandawand @faery-god @honeysuckletook @theflurtifly @saibowtie @1stbonesfan @frywen-babbles @the-kewlest @innocentbi-stander  @aqueenrisesintheeast @toothhurtyam @marauders-fan-account @ineffable-lasagna @limevodka @rocknrollphanda @seralyra @permanently-exhausted-witcher @aj-itated @watchthewolvesfall @00qtee @the-blondey @birds-of-forgiveness @west-moor @abstractartwithoutpaint @darkonesdagger7437 @onwardsandfourwords @underwaterattribute @whenrainbowsend @goldbvtton @in-love-with-writing002 @flustratedcas @fontegagrilledcheese @little-piece-of-tamlin @somanyfandoms @werevampiwolf

[alreadyblondenow]

You and your words | Hendery

❤︎ Prince!Hendery x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff, Smut, Smut, Angst, Royalty AU, best friends to lovers, fuck buddies for some time hehe ❤︎ 3/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number

One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: You and prince Hendery are good friends... who lust for each other and trying so hard not to fall in love. But your mother, an ambitious woman, wants to use prince Hendery to improve the status of your family.  

Word count: 9,614k

Warnings: Unprotected sex, virginity loss, making out, best friends but they lust for each other, masturbation (male), mentions of masturbations (female), they think of each other when they masturbate ano ba, fingering, a lot of kissing, dirty talk, corruption, slight exhibitionism, mentions of oral sex, fuck buddies for some time, dirty talking... but through love letters.... haha, mentions of other idols, strict parents, mother issues, Hendery being a spoiled prince, slight cheating, a lot of bad decisions, you might get mad to Hendery or reader?

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. inspired by the Netflix series Bridgerton and First Burn from Hamilton. 

For my baby’s Love Letter event, @neosmutcollective​ HAPPY CUPID DAY!

February 14

My dearest best friend,

I am inviting you to my family’s soirée and ask you to accompany me the whole night. In return, I will sing praises about you to my cousin Xiaojun.

Prince Hendery

Everyone knows that an invitation to the queen’s soirée is the holy grail and it is very hard to be invited especially if the queen or king does not know you personally. But you, the ever so beautiful Y/n, is friends with their son Prince Hendery. So it’s up to you to claw your way to the top and to honor your family. At least that's what your mother wants you to do.

You don’t request anything from the prince, no. Everything that he does or gives to you is voluntarily and because he loves you dearly. As a friend.

It all began when he accidentally bumped you a little too hard because he was in a hurry to avoid a certain dance with someone he does not know. You were both in your teenage years at that time and it was a season where young people were rather picky. The young gents always look for the prettiest most flawless lady, and the young ladies always.... well, avoid anyone or everyone unless he's the prince.

You were quite young by that time and you didn’t care about courting, suitors, love letters, or expensive flowers. That’s why you didn’t know what the prince looked like nor his name, because you didn’t care at all.

“My apologies my lady, I didn’t see you” he offered his hand and pulled you from the ground. It was so kind of him to help you get up and straighten your dress. Not to mention he kissed the back of your gloved hand and apologized again.

“It’s fine. Is someone running after you?” you pursed your lips and hugged yourself to protect yourself from the cold. The palace gardens have it’s unique February breeze, you thought.

“Here,” he smoothly removed his coat and put it around you. “I’m Hendery” he smiled when he finally realized that you don’t know who you are with right now.

“Y/n. The ball is kind of boring and quiet. N-no offense to the queen and her family but everyone seems so uptight and pushing us, the young people to entertain the adults- I’m sure you understand what I’m saying here” your tone was a little loud and the annoyance caused by your mother is slowly showing.

“Very much. In fact, I was running away from a dance that I don’t want to be a part of” he giggles so handsomely to show his support for what you’re feeling right now. "Love is the last thing that I desire right now but my mother wants me to entertain a bunch of women and converse for some time with their mother or father"

“How many girls did you entertain tonight?” you asked back, and also giving back his coat because you’re about to leave him.

“Two. My mother and my sister” he answered proudly which made you smile and let out a small laugh. At least between the two of you, he has the freedom to say no.

When you finally got back to the boring party, your mother was quick to fix your hair and fluff your dress before she pushes you again on the dance floor and dance with the prince. She told you she went to great lengths so you could have some time to dance with the crowned prince even if it’s just for a few seconds.

“Work your magic young lady, enchant the prince, and try to make him interested in you. Be useful like your sisters, be engaged to the prince soon and all is well” your mother’s exact words.

Ah right. Of course, your mother’s priority is to use you as bait to the bigger fishes so you could earn their love and respect. So with a heavy heart and feet, you walked in the middle of the dance floor, feeling so ashamed and humiliated for you were so sure that the prince will not show up because he does not have any interest.

Tears are starting to ball at the corner of your eye but you felt a shiver on your spine when someone tapped you from behind.

Lo and behold, prince Hendery came and graced you with his attention.

“Are those tears?” He was quick to grab your hand and waist to save you from the humiliation but the place started gossiping in no time. You can hear people asking one another if you’re royalty, where did you come from and why is the prince only interested in having a dance with you.

“I’m sorry my prince,” you cleared your throat and hope that your face is pleasing, “we meet again, I have no idea that you’ve been gracing me with your time already. My apologies”

He let out a small laugh before he twirled you. “That’s Hendery, not prince Hendery. The quick moment that I shared with you outside made me feel that I’m free” he whispered beside your ear. So sincere, so true, but it sounded like he’s calling for help.

“Thank you prince Hendery, my mother is pleased”

“I too. I mean, the queen is pleased”

“How about you, your grace, are you pleased?”

“Very much pleased. Tell me, what’s your name?” You stepped back and bowed down to him, as low as you can.

“Lady Y/n L/n, your grace” you smiled and slowly recovered from your bow.

And in that very moment, while a unique friendship is slowly blooming in the middle of the dance floor, everyone started hating you even before knowing your name or family name.

But for prince Hendery, it’s a name that he will never forget and love starting that night.

From there on you and prince Hendery became the best of friends, making the whole town jealous and making everyone crave your attention, begging for you to answer the golden question which is, “Are you two in love with each other?” Something neither you nor Hendery can’t answer because you do love each other, but not deep enough.

Months and years have passed and still, you and prince Hendery please your mothers by being sweet whenever you have eyes watching. Balls, birthday parties, luncheons, soirées, all to which you and prince Hendery had a great time making everyone jealous. Like tonight, where prince Hendery should be right beside you because you are his guest but he is nowhere to be found. Until one of his guards came to you and told you, “Prince Hendery is asking for you in his bedroom, my lady” thankfully it was a whisper, or else it could have been a big scandal.

You have never stepped foot into prince Hendery’s room even though the two of you are incredibly close. No one can enter a royal bedroom except family, guards, maids, or his future fiancé. That’s why you were nervous while you continue to question yourself, ‘what are you doing here?’ until you found yourself in front of the prince’s bedroom and his guard opened the door for you.  

“Are you going to marry me?” You asked after the guard shut the door, teasing your best friend and not coming any closer to him.

“Will you please come join me to bed? I’m sad” he pouted so cutely and lie on his side. “You look lovely tonight. The flowers I sent you this morning match your dress perfectly, I picked it from the garden where we first met” he added.

You giggle and told him to look at your head, there he saw a flower from the ones he sent you. “Creative,” he says and pats his bed one more, still asking for you to lie beside him. Of course, you gave up eventually, but you lie so far from him that he had to pull the sheets a little too harshly to get a hold of you which completely startled you and made you nervous. “Much better,” he says, face closer to you than ever that his breath touches your skin.

“No more games my prince, why did you summon me here?” you’ve never been close to Hendery like this. If the queen hears about this, you and your family will be in trouble.

“Nothing special, I just want to be free before I become the night's hot topic” he admitted.

“That's why I'm here. I promise to drag you away whenever someone is coming” He smiles at your effort to cheer him up, “or would you prefer dancing the whole night so we don't get disturbed?” you offered him a hug while you two lie in bed comfortably. “Everything will be fine as long as Im here” you added.  

“Exactly, that's why I called you here” he smiles and closed his eyes, listening to the distant violin playing from downstairs. And to make him feel better, you threw away your shyness and rest your head on his chest. He automatically wraps his arms around you and giggled while his eyes were still closed. Secretly happy that you’re slightly on top of him while his embrace becomes tighter and tighter by the second until your face is much closer to his face again when he rolled on the side dragging your body with him.

Shyness creeps in your bones again as he looks at you deeply. Making your body incredibly warm by just looking at you and keeping your body close. You tell yourself, ‘look away, it’s improper to look at your prince like this’ but you can’t and you don’t want to.

“If I ask you to kiss me, will you say no to me?” he bravely asked, eyes hoping for you to say yes. But when you’re taking too long to answer, you saw the disappointment in his eyes, and his embrace was becoming loose. “I’m sorry for being a fool-“

To his surprise, you didn’t answer him through your words but through your actions. You kissed your prince friend on the lips which he returned without hesitation. He was happy and he’s proving it by the way he kisses you, smiling in between taking breaths, letting out a soft moan whenever he’s being too carried away. You didn’t expect to love the way how his lips touch yours, you didn’t expect him to be a good kisser but it was so good that when you closed your eyes you thought you were in a cloud and an angel is kissing you.

It was slow and not rushed. It is as if time stopped while your heads were turning and your tongues were fighting for dominance while no one noticed that your fingers are intertwined. When he pulled away and kissed your forehead to end the moment, he thanked you for not refusing and even asked you where did you learn to kiss like that. “I’m glad the first lips I ever kissed is owned by a woman who truly, cares for me” he smiles and kissed the back of your hand one too many times before he got up from his bed, and offered his hand to help you.

That night, while you and prince Hendery were kissing privately, something sparked inside him that he had never felt before. You may not know but during the party, prince Hendery noticed that you can be someone he can be in love with.

February 19

My dearest Y/n,

Have you been well? When can I see you again? Did you receive the flowers that I sent you and your mother? Perhaps I could pay you a visit and we can have a picnic somewhere private.

I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss we shared.

Prince Hendery

Days after that beautiful kiss, prince Hendery sent you beautiful flowers, one for each corner of your home that even your mother was impressed and had the wrong idea. Of course, she thought the prince is courting you and that sending you many expensive flowers is a sign that he is now ready to show his seriousness to you.

“May I see that letter, dear?” she reached out her hand, waiting for you to hand prince Hendery’s recent letter.

“Mother, I’m sure the prince will not be pleased with your idea," you said in the nicest way but the tone of your voice had a hint of begging. Why must she put you in this position? Your own mother. She walked slowly towards you and snatched the letter from your hand and watch your mother betray you in front of your eyes.

After reading, she was very much amused and happy by what she just read. “the kiss we shared, eh?” she said with a smirk. “Write back-“

“I will not” you talked back.

“Write back or I will” she said with a stern voice, “you are to write back and flatter the prince. Tell him you want to happen again, tell him to invite you again to one of his family’s events”

“Mother, I don’t talk like that”

“Whatever, just do as I say For our family’s name, for our family’s sake. Be useful like your sisters” she straightens up her posture and told you to go to your room and write the letter.

You thought that your mother understood the friendship that you have with Hendery but turns out she still wants to use you as bait and to get the attention of the royal family. It sickens you, to be honest. Because Hendery is a decent person, always nice to you and your family and also you love him dearly as a friend.

As you look at the blank paper and arrange your thoughts, trying so hard to talk like how your mother wants but you just can’t. So instead, you told him the truth and what your heart says.

February 19

Dear Prince Hendery,

You care for me always, I am well thank you for asking.

Apologies for not being around these days, I was catching up with some readings. I did receive the lovely flowers, they were very beautiful my mother was pleased.

I miss you awfully. And the private picnic you offered sounds wonderful and can be arranged for tomorrow.

Lady Y/n

“No mention of the kiss?” prince Hendery whined to his best friend Ten while he watches him clean his hands from their afternoon hunt.

“Maybe the story that you told me is just part of your imagination,” Ten laughed.

“It’s not. It’s much real- how can I bring this up to her again? I want it to happen again”

“Oh, you’re a spoiled prince. When will you change? Tell me my, friend, do you love her, or you’re willing to use her for your desperateness?” it was a bold question to open the eyes of the prince.

“I do love her but, it’s very little and I’m sure I’m driven by my lust” the prince admitted.

“Then court her. Feelings can grow and the next thing you know, you now have a queen. And your mother will be pleased”

Hendery shook his head to show his disappointment to his friend. He may be the prince but he believes that he’s not born in this world to merely please his mother but to follow what his heart really wants. Like to marry the one he loves.

On the next day, as promised, the prince planned a private picnic for just the two of you and it was perfect. Being with prince Hendery is like an escape from the reality of your home and for prince Hendery, being with you makes him feel normal. “The sun feels good, doesn’t it?” he put a strawberry in your mouth and watch you chew it while you lie comfortably on his lap.

Since when did you two start to exchange flirty glances? you asked yourself. But you shrugged it off and continue to mind your thoughts. You may not know but it’s obvious that your mind is not in this picnic and prince Hendery can see right through you, he knows something is bothering you so he asked you. “Nothing my prince, I’m just thinking and admiring the perfect weather,” you said with the slightest of interest.

“Why are you so proper when you’re writing to me or when you’re with me? What's the matter? Speak your mind your prince demands it,” he ate another strawberry and you got up from your comfortable position.

“That’s not fair,” you said because you can’t tell him what’s really on your mind.

“It was meant to be a joke, what’s wrong?”  

He will never give up until you tell him something that will stop his curiosity, so you didn’t have a choice but to lie. “Having no suitors and my desire to escape from reality. That bothers me” you said and tried diverting your attention by indulging at the feast in front of you.

“Maybe there’s a reason for that. Look for a suitor that's very much like me” he says boldly, looking at you deeply like he’s telling you the answer is right in front of you already. And to be honest, a suitor that’s very much like the prince doesn’t sound so bad. He’s a gentleman, has good intentions, and also a good kisser.

“I will keep that in mind. Now read me poetry and tell me stories,” you went back to your comfort on his lap and listen to him talk while you two bask under the beautiful weather. He reads you tons of poetry that sounded real and full of emotions, tells you stories about his childhood and the things that he wants to do in life, even fed you with the palace gossips, and made you laugh. Again, the picnic is perfect and prince Hendery once again provided an escape from your ugly thoughts.  

You watch the sun go down while you both finish the wine in your cups and eat the leftover cheese because there's nothing left anymore. Both a little tipsy from the wine already, laughing and giggling before midnight strikes then out of nowhere, the rain poured so hard that it got you both soaked in a matter of minutes.

Running hand in hand to look for a shade as the field becomes darker each second, good thing prince Hendery saw a thick tree that can provide shade in the meantime. With soaking clothes and wet skins you stand closely together behind the thick tree, waiting for the rain to stop. But the prince is thanking it silently for giving him this moment with you. A moment with you where he can admire you closely again, a moment with you privately where he can keep you close to him, and a moment with you where he can try and ask for a kiss again.

You’re not stupid. You can feel the warmth of his body like he’s sharing some of it to you, you can feel his fingertips dancing on your exposed back all the way to your nape, letting you feel the wetness of your skin which you very much love but you can’t admit it to yourself.

“You said you wanted an escape well I too,” he leaned forward to give your jaw a soft kiss that’s very much addicting, leaving you for wanting more. He pulled away to look at you for a few seconds, waiting for you to return the kiss and accept his offer. And without any hesitation, you kissed him on the lips and showed him what you want.

“An escape and nothing more-“ you said because giving the prince false hope is the last thing you want to happen.

“I understand, he says with a smile. Very much pleased to see you give in to him and his charms. He kissed you to show you how happy he is, reaching for your right leg and lift the skirt of your dress so he could feel the wetness of your skin further. You moaned and gasp sharply near his ear as you feel your leg locks automatically around his waist as he pushed you on the tree with a grunt and kiss you even more harshly.

Soon you feel his fingers creep in your inner thighs, closer than ever to your sex. “Hendery-“ you moaned when he finally swipes his finger on your sex, wetting his fingers in front of your eyes using his spit and putting it back to your sex and continue to make you feel good. He is holding you tightly as your grip on his shoulder tightens even more. Oh he knows what he’s doing. You smile at that thought while parting your lips, furrowing your brows, and moaning even more deliciously near the prince’s ear.

And while he continues what he’s doing to you, you felt something hard poking your other thigh while his lips were leaving marks on your chest, just right above your breast. Is that what you think it is? Well, if yes then his cock is big, and thinking about it makes you horny even more. “Are you happy?” he whispered, disturbing your lustful thoughts, nod your head yes, and returned your lips to his. Biting it and sucking his tongue, showing him that you are very much driven by lust too.

When he finally found the spot that instantly made your legs shake and your knees weak, he watched you let go right before his eyes and watch you bite your lips and make sinful sounds that he’s very much proud of. Satisfied with the pleasure that he provided, he removed his fingers from your hole and helped you fix your dress. You feel very tired and exhausted, that your legs are about to give up but Hendery will never let you fall. He kissed you more, asked for more and you gave him more until you’re both happy and satisfied with the long kisses that you shared. “Let me bring you home safely” he sweetly requested when he noticed that the rain was long gone and you’re in a middle of a dark field.

Walking hand in hand back to his carriage where his guards are waiting, you two remain unbothered with your wet clothes and stayed happy with the remaining time you have with each other on your way home. And when it’s finally time to part again, he thanked you for a wonderful day which made you incredibly shy as what happened earlier flashes in your mind.

As you settle in your bathroom, sitting on the tub filled with warm water, you can still hear Hendery’s sweet whispers and miss his touch terribly. Smiling through the idea of a gentleman such as Hendery touched you for the first time, and it was quite an experience. But still, you love him as a friend and that will never change because you will not let your mother win and use Hendery’s name to up the status of your family.

He offered you an escape, and that’s what you’re accepting. No more, no less.

February 23

Dearest Y/n,

I am lying to myself if I don’t admit that I miss your lips on mine. How I miss seeing your parted lips, touch the softness of your breast, and the wetness of your sex. I’ve been thinking about you every night since we parted ways after that eventful evening we shared.

But the purpose of this letter is to invite you to my uncle’s ball this evening and accompany me, be my guest and let’s enjoy the night.

Prince Hendery

Knowing that the prince misses you and your lips, is something that can surely make you smile while writing back to him and accept his invitation. Sealing the letter with the slightest of love but flowery words that will surely make him smile too.

This action can be accepted as playing with fire but no one reads your letters aside from the prince himself so you know that whatever you say to him will always be safe.

But right after you sent the letter, you regret writing those filthy words on paper and realized that you are sending it to your best friend.

February 23

Dear Hendery,

The invitation is accepted and I will be delighted to accompany you. But before I close this letter, I want you to know the truth about my impure thoughts.

I think of you at night whenever I touch myself. Imagine that your fingers are the ones inside me and not mine, I spread my legs so wide under the sheets, eyes closed while I try to remember how you please me.

When can we meet privately again? I hope it happens again soon.

Lady Y/n

As expected, while reading the letter that you wrote back privately, the prince’s cock got hard that he had to take care of it at once. So in his quiet room where the doors are locked, he sat on the edge of his bed and pull out his cock from his trousers. Stroking it slowly as he imagines you again, teasing himself so he wouldn’t release so soon.

Holding the letter in his left hand and reading the second phrase over and over again, trying so hard to picture you in his thoughts with your nightgown lifted all the way up until your sex is exposed and you touching yourself. Closing his eyes so tight while he strokes his cock faster than before as he pictures you gripping the sheets so hard and very much near to your orgasm.

Until finally he shoots his cum and lets it drip on his sheets, moaning and grunting deliciously as he enjoys the warm feeling while catching his breath. Wondering how can he control his lustful feelings towards you and turn it to love.  

When the most awaited time has arrived and Hendery’s carriage is waiting outside your house, you didn’t quite expect to feel nervous as this never happened to you before. He was quiet and smiling handsomely when you sat in front of him, waiting for his carriage to move before he does as well.

“You look beautiful as always,” he sat beside you and completely startled you with his actions. A kiss on your gloved hand, and a kiss on your lips.

During the ball, Hendery was busy gracing the place with his presence on behalf of his mother so the two of you did not have much time to talk and dance, although he promised to dance with you once for tonight and that is perfectly fine for you understand his duties.

So while you’re drinking a glass of white wine on the corner, you can’t help but think and foresee the future that you can have with Hendery if you let your mother succeed.

A comfortable life, the wife of the future king, a loving husband, of course, he will give you children, but he will always be away to take care of the country’s current affairs because he is the crowned prince. And you well know that you don’t want a life like that. You want a life where a husband goes home to you every night and makes love to you until you're exhausted and tired.

“I’m sorry” Hendery whispered from behind which startled you. “Are you ready to dance?” you gave him your hand and guide you towards the middle. Careful to put his hand on your waist, trying so hard not to pull you towards him and plant many kisses on your neck.

“I read your letter” he started and completely clueless about your regret about it. You gave him a shy smile and looked away.

“So?” he started again, hoping to hear a response from you this time.

“So what my prince?”  

“Do you still want my fingers inside you?” He teases, whispering beside your ear and smiling as if he’s not making you shy in the middle of the dance floor.

“I beg you-“

“Oh, she begs” He interrupted you and teased you further. But that’s not all, you feel his hand roam on your lower back, bravely did it still despite being guarded with many judging and watchful eyes. Slowly your patience with your friend is wearing thin and so you stared at him long and hard and thankfully he understood what your eyes were saying and stopped teasing you.

“Thank you for shutting up and remembering that you’re a prince,” you clear your throat and continue what you were saying earlier, “your fingers do felt rather nice inside me and... I wish what happened the other night would happen again. But Hendery I beg you, do not tease me like this because someone might hear you. At least talk softly,”

The prince let out a small laugh, so small that only you can hear it while he continues to dance with you and fool everyone for pretending that you’re having an innocent conversation.

“After what happened I can’t seem to forget how you purred beside my ear that night” he stared at you, holding your lower back to assist you more on the dance. “Your tight grips on my shoulders still ghosts my skin, how you say my name as if I am not a prince. But it came out from your mouth in a very sinful way because I am pleasuring you”

“I made those sounds, those sounds that you oh so loved because you knew what you’re doing in between my legs... Hendery” you said it as quietly as possible and smiled so innocently at your prince, feeling every turn and every step became closer than required. Bodies becoming warm in less than a minute that you even felt his skin became instantly hot.

“If you loved how I sound that night, well, I love how you pushed me behind that tree your grace... because I felt your manhood poke my thigh. And my my,” you shook your head from left to right and giggle beside his ear, then decided to stop teasing him and making him hornier than ever when you heard him clear his throat and see the blush on his face.

“The next time we are to be alone again, I want your lips to never leave mine, your body never be covered by layers and layers of silk, and always keep your body close to mine because next time, my fingers won’t be the only one going inside you”

The promise of a very sinful and lustful next time instantly made you feel hot and you feel like your dress is about to pop and your corset will give up in no time. But even though it sounded like it was all about lust, the promise of seeing each other alone again because he loves your presence made your heart swell with happiness and smile from ear to ear as he sways you slowly under a fading string quartet music from the background.

“I never want the song to end, I beg you, not as your prince but as Hendery, keep close to me. Please”

You didn’t want to ruin the moment and feel every note of that beautiful song come to an end. This time you’re no longer fooling anyone, you are simply showing that you adore each other in the middle of the dance floor with a sea of young people.

“Tell me, what else do you love your grace?” You asked him just before you part from the dance and bow.

“You. I love you”

Usually, when someone confesses their love to someone, positive reactions are expected from both persons. And when Hendery said it out of nowhere he wanted to take it back in an instant because it is not sincere and it is not true. Yet.

“Take it back, you don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t love me” it was so hard to breathe at the moment. But you say it over and over again, very close to being mad but you can't make a scene “Please Hendery, take it back it’s not true and what you’re feeling is lust not love” you said sternly completely offending the prince with the truth.

“Alright, alright I take it back. I’m sorry, I’ll get you a glass of water. Come”

And so, the lovely night has ended earlier than expected. Hendery brought you home safely without a promise of seeing each other soon again.

Everything changed and it’s all because of lust.

March 2

To my dearest prince Hendery,

It’s been many days since the last time that we saw each other. Are you mad at me?  

Word is spreading that you’re leaving the country for several weeks to attend an important meeting representing your mother. Is it true? Were you planning to tell me?

Please write back and meet me soon. I miss you.

Lady Y/n

After reading your letter and keeping it safe in his drawer, prince Hendery admitted to himself first that he misses you too, and that no he’s not mad at you. He’s just humiliated and he’s not yet ready to show his face.

It’s his mistake in the first place. He promised to offer you an escape, no more no less. “Unbelievable Hendery,” he murmurs to himself.

After a few days of self-pity and gathering his courage to face you again, he finally gave in to your request and meet you. He apologized while you two walk around town with his guards on the side, ate lunch at his favorite restaurant, and chat until your hearts are happy. Everything felt normal again, you can hear people starting to gossip about you and Hendery so you figured all is well between you and him.

“Tomorrow is my last night here, please accompany me. My mother insisted to host a ball, I told her no need but she still made preparations” he scoffed and finished the tea he’s drinking.

You didn’t want to ruin the mood and ruin the peace between you two but you have to tell him the truth, “Xiaojun- uh, asked me to accompany him and I accepted his offer,”

“Well, you could have said no. Didn’t you thought of me?” his voice was suddenly higher and stern. He wanted to shout at you but you don’t deserve that, you’re very much important to him so he won’t do that.

“I’m sorry my prince” you murmured and lowered your head.

“Don’t lower yourself for me. I think so highly of you, please” he reached for your hand kissed your knuckles, “It’s alright. My cousin is good company” he says, comforting you further.

When you and Hendery parted ways and while the prince is on his way home, he finally admitted to himself that he is jealous. Jealous because he knew you and his cousin Xiaojun used to like each other, and now he’s clueless if you still like each other.

He can’t eat properly and kept thinking if he should steal you from his cousin. He can’t sleep despite being so tired physically and kept thinking about how he’s not spending his last night here with you.

And when his last night in town comes, during the ball, Hendery is forcing himself to smile and greet his guests. Trying so hard not to look at you and his cousin Xiaojun for he doesn’t know if he can control himself from being jealous.

“Unaccompanied, huh?” Ten teases Hendery and looked around the place for you. Only to find out that you came with his cousin, “Ah... I see” Ten smirks and continues drinking his wine.

“I’m jealous so go ruin someone else's night-“

“No my friend, I’m here to rescue you,” he whispers and called someone from afar. “Prince Hendery I want you to meet my cousin Lady Lisa,” the beautiful lady bowed to the prince to give respect, complimented the prince, and soon earned his attention and invited her to dance.

Of course, a royal attraction such as Hendery with a different woman in the dance floor can awaken the gossipers in an instant. But it's not the gossipers that irritate you the most. It’s her giggles, Hendery’s hold on her waist, his beautiful smile when he talks to her-

“Are you alright dearest?” Xiaojun whispers, completely bringing you back to reality. You breathed in deeply and exhaled sharply before drinking your wine in one go.

“Excuse me for a moment, I need air and privacy” you request from the gentleman in front of you. Nodding with a lot of questions in his mind, Xiaojun did not even dare to stop you.

And away you go to the palace gardens to breathe and let out your jealousy. Breathing deeply over and over again, wishing to be separated from the corset that’s suffocating you. Until you finally calmed down and had the need to admire the stars in the sky and listen to the distant chatters from the ball.

“Did my cousin offended you? Violated you perhaps? Are you hurt?”

Hendery came out looking for you immediately when he did not see you by his cousin’s side. He knew that this is the only place you will go to breathe because this is where he first met you.

“No no, I’m fine. Your cousin is a gentleman like you, I just needed some fresh air. Go back to your guests” you shoo him away and suddenly you feel suffocated again.

“I care only about one guest. And she’s standing in front of me right now” Hendery says boldly, walking towards you and pulled you close by the waist and kissed you. Motioning you deeper into the gardens to hide while you share a heated kiss that’s saying, ‘we belong to each other’.

Soon the heated kiss becomes rougher while the prince’s hands roam freely around your body, undoing your dress, trying to free you from this tight corset, and said, “Make love to me tonight”

There was no sign of authority in what he said, you’re sure that it’s not a command from your prince, his voice was serious but full of love and passion. And that’s why you agreed, nod your head and kiss him again, and felt his charming smile in between the kiss.

Not even a single soul from the guests knew that he sneaked you to his bedroom again, dismissed the guards before shutting the door close and locking it.

The room was dark and cold and only the moonlight and the lights from the outside illuminates his room. But when his lips touched your skin again, suddenly it became hot and you feel weak while Hendery is the opposite because you noticed he’s full of energy and burning passion.

“Lie in bed,” he says sweetly but his actions say otherwise for he pushed you, hovers you, and continue removing your clothes. X by X he loosens your corset until you’re finally free and you’re all exposed in front of him. “Better?” He asks and you nod shyly.

When he proceeds to remove his clothes next, it is as if your shyness faded when you saw Hendery’s body in the dark but everything seems clear to you even with minimal light. “Can I spread your legs?” he asks, caressing your knee while he lies beside you and waiting for your consent.

Slowly and gently, he parted your legs and hovers you again, hands exploring around your body without barriers of cloth, kneading your breast while kissing your neck as you listen to him breathe and moan. And when his hands continue to explore your inner thighs, a sharp gasp escaped from your mouth and you spread your legs wider. This time, it’s your turn to feel his naked body and explore it with your hands. Feeling every muscle tighten whenever he makes you moan accidentally.

Then he stopped. Came closer to you until you’re bodies to bodies and his forehead rests on your temple.

You know exactly what’s going to happen next. You knew that it will hurt, and it did but you asked for more, begged rather. You see his handsome face contort when he finally pushed inside you, loving your tight walls, moaning like a mad man. He lifts both of your hand at the top of your head and witness him look at you with eyes full of lust that watches your breasts bounce up and down for every thrust he gives you.

For someone who’s inexperienced like your prince, he surely knew what he was doing. Folding your legs and pushing them closer to your chest so he could thrust deeper. Even he surprises himself.

With quick thrusts, filthy words here and there, and deeper kisses you finally reached your euphoria and moaned his name again. Something he oh so loved hearing and that made him lose his mind and let go. Pulled out immediately and shoots his cum on the sheet, while grunting and moaning so loud that you didn’t even know he’s capable of making such sounds.

When he’s finally calm and has enough energy to move, he gathered the ruined sheets, threw them on the floor, and covered you with the thicker ones. “What happened was special, don’t you think?” He asks and joined you under the thick sheets and kept you close to his still exposed body.

“Special indeed,” you said and reached for his lips to plant a soft kiss.

Now you know that you do have feelings for him.

“I want you to take this, as a promise that I will soon be home” you watch him remove his silver necklace and transfer it around your neck, leaving sweet kisses on your shoulders before pulls away. He promised to come home soon so he can replace the necklace with something even more expensive when he gets back. “Oh I wish to see you more like this wearing nothing but my necklace”

“Then don’t go. Stay here, the world will not go into war if you chose to stay” He smiles so sweetly at you, happy that you’re on the same page.

“Just for a couple of weeks, my love” he says and kissed your hand many times.

“So we're in love, huh?” You tease him.

He scoffed and looked deeply into your eyes, “I think we started being in love on the night first met. We were too young to think about love but I know we loved each other for years now”

And just like that, after years and years of going against your mother, you’re finally defeated because what Hendery said is true.

On the next morning, you and your prince spend the whole morning making love quietly and making sure that your time left with each other is not wasted. Exploring each other’s bodies further and diving headfirst to lust.

“Please “ you giggle quietly, covering your mouth as you moan with every flick of his tongue on your clit. You both came several times now and you feel so weak already in the middle of the morning. “You need to prepare,” you reminded him before he starts again and asks for one last. Finally, you feel him spread kisses on your body all the way up until his head appears from the thick sheets.

When the time of parting has finally come, he put you on a carriage first before he leaves. “You’re going to be a great king” and he wishes for you to be beside him always and forever. “Safe travels, my love. Write to me every day” you whisper to him and kiss him before you go inside the carriage.

“Expect love letters from now on. I’ll be home soon, think of me always” he says and kissed you goodbye.

The promise of receiving love letters from Hendery every day was kept. You read them in the morning when you wake up and at night before you sleep. Smiling like a fool and giggling alone as you remember his sweet words and miss him even more.

This has been yet your happiest time with Hendery. Although you’re not together physically, but through the continuous exchanges of love letters, your hearts felt closer than before. And you find it amazing because being oceans apart from each other should be hard and heartbreaking but no, your words and his words give comfort to your hearts.

March 10

To my love who’s oceans apart from me,

My heart longs for you and I miss your presence.

The country is treating me well with their good hospitality and pays high respect to my mother the queen. It feels like I’m on vacation rather than an important royal matter.

It’s morning here and I’m sitting by the beautiful garden with beautiful flowers as I write this letter and think of you. Now that it’s clear that we are deeply in love, I realized that I am in love with my best friend and the mere thought of it makes me blush and makes me smile naturally.

I think of you every second my love, imagining you reading a book in front of me or sleeping right beside me in my huge bed. I want to wake up and see your smile first thing in the morning or feel your warmth for as long as I want. But let us not worry for time will pass by so fast and we will be together again.

When I get back, we should have more picnics, share longer kisses, make love every night. Let us never let go of each other.

I love you.

Hendery

March 15

To my loving prince,

My heart aches for you too but your words give great comfort to my heart. This distance between us is nothing compared to our patience.

I am more than glad that the country is treating you well. Tell me everything you do there, I miss your stories. You’re going to be a great king and I wish you won’t forget to take care of yourself there. Eat plenty and rest when needed. My heart won’t take it if you get sick or become tired.

As promised, I always think of you too. My head is so full of you that you visit me in my dreams more often than usual. And I too my prince, want to see your charming smile in the morning and even at night.

Stretch your patience more my love. When you get back, I will never leave your side. But for now, I am happily and patiently waiting for your return.  

I love you.

From the woman you love who’s oceans apart from you.

And for days and days of being apart, you and Hendery exchanged love letters and make each other smile through the paper. You tell him stories and gossips from home and he tells you stories and gossips from the country he’s staying.

“My prince, I brought bad news” The voice of his royal guard disturbed his peace while reading one of your letters. “How dare you ruin my peace, what now?” he says, still smiling from the letter he’s reading.

“Your stay here is extended, my prince” the royal guard informed him and did not dare to look his prince in the eye for he knew it will make him angry. “Your presence is requested at a royal gathering that your mother can’t attend to” he added.

And right then and there, Hendery thought about you and wanted to tell you the news immediately. He wrote as fast as he could and told his guard to send the letter immediately for Hendery was scared and disappointed with himself to give you false hope.

April 30

My dearest prince whom I love,

I waited for your arrival but you did not come. For days I was worried and could not eat or sleep well and all I did was think of you. Pray that you’re safe and wait patiently for you.

But now that I have received your letter I can finally stop worrying and stop imagining unpleasant scenarios. How are you?

I miss you terribly.

Y/n

May 20

My love,

Thank you for understanding further.

My purpose and responsibility here are becoming more tiring each day that passes but the promise of seeing you once I’m done here is the only thought that gives me energy.

Unpleasant scenarios? Imagine only me showering you with love, imagine us strolling across town and shock the gossipers and silence them once and for all when we finally announce our relationship.

Think only happy thoughts, my love, I will be with you soon.

I love you.

Hendery.

And that is the last letter you received from him for the month of May.

Hendery was told that someone is plotting to assassinate him and for his own safety, he has to leave the country secretly and go to a country where no one knew he is there. Even you.

For your own safety, Prince Hendery stopped writing you letters for the assassins can and might track you because of him. He will not forgive himself if you are to be tracked and hurt by an assassin because of a love letter.

Little did you know that he did not send his last letter on the 20th of May, and a very heartfelt love letter is on its way to you.

“A normal mail? For me? Not from the royal mail?” the mailman nods and hands you the letter.

“Put it on the basket together with the normal mails dear,” your mother said. Oh this house completely has no care about any other letter unless it’s sealed by the royals.

As weeks and months pass by quickly, you continue to wait for a letter from Hendery, and continue to wait for his arrival. But sadness had you by the neck that whenever you think about Hendery your heart will suddenly hurt and tears will automatically fall from your eyes.

Waiting is a long suffering and you understand that well before you decided to love Hendery. You knew what you signed up for… but you did not expect that it will hurt like hell while waiting for someone. It’s like waiting for a ghost to come back, you feel hopeless.

But even though you’re hurting so much, you grew more desperate to hear anything from him that you asked for his cousin Xiaojun’s help. Still, your efforts are wasted. And you’re reminded why you didn’t want to pursue your love with Hendery in the first place. “The pain that I’m feeling right now will double once he is crowned king, I’m sure of it. Is it wrong for me to ask for the man that I love? Why am I being punished?” you cry your heart out in Xiaojun’s arms, keeping you safe while he listens to what pains you and try so hard to provide comfort.

But just as you thought that you couldn't be any sadder, you are wrong. Now that everyone is expecting you to marry soon to save your family and fix the financial problem, sadder days continue to happen in your life.

“Stop your nonsense now young lady, you will marry prince Xiaojun and live with him in a new country. Stop humiliating your family and stop waiting for the crowned prince to come back. He may be all wedded and bedded by this time while you, you’re becoming even more miserable”

And that is the reason why you agreed to marry prince Xiaojun.

YEARS LATER

One night at the queen’s ball, you found yourself alone and looking at the stars again on the exact place you and Hendery first met. Breathing in, breathing out, and closing your eyes as you clear your mind and think about Hendery.

“What are you thinking about?”

You hear someone ask you from behind, you’re not sure who he is because your eyes are still closed but it can only be Xiaojun because he’s the one who knew where to find you.

But perhaps no. There’s another man who always knew where to find you even without telling him.

“Open your eyes my love, I’m home”

You turned around in an instant, looked at his face, and suddenly tears started to fall from your eyes, you can’t move and all you can do is cry. You have so many questions to him, so many sincere words left unsaid, but all you said right now is, “are you real? Or my mind is betraying me once again?”

“I am very much real,” Hendery says and gave you a tight hug, lifting you off the ground and kissing you as many as he pleases to make up for last time.

“I don’t understand, why did you leave me like that?”

“Didn’t you receive my letter?” he asks, wondering why are you so clueless when he is completely sure he told you everything. “Maybe it never reached you, I’m sorry. But now I’m back, come now let’s announce our love to my mother and ask for her blessing so we could marry soon” he was very excited but you are not.

How can you be excited? You’re already married.

Is it possible for a person to leave you and come back many years later then suddenly asked he wants to marry you as if you did not suffer greatly from waiting and being sad for months?

You remove your hand from his tight grasp and saw the ring. Now, everything is clear to him but he is very angry.

“Please don’t be mad-“ you begged.

“How could you- If only that letter reached to you, then you will know why I’m very mad right now!” He shouted at you, face turning red, eyes with tears on the side. “We were separated for years, give me a chance. Please come back to me. You told me you love me”

“And you told me you will come home! But they were only words, Hendery. And I do love you, still love you but I have a duty for my family and you have a duty for your country” He refuses to listen but you knew he needed to know the truth from you, “Please understand that you were gone for years, and I was arranged to be married to Xiaojun. I said no to Xiaojun for as long as I could, hurting him over and over again because I was waiting for you like a fool. Love someone with a strong heart, whose love is unconditional. Not like me. I can't turn my back on Xiaojun just because you're back”

"But you turned your back on me, just because I was away"

"I waited!" you shouted frustratingly back at him.

“Are you happy with him? Do you love him?”

Slowly you walked towards him to dry his tears with your hand and he’s quick to catch it kiss it before he finally lets you go.

“I am happy and no, I don’t love him but he loves me”

He nods his head slowly. Heartbroken and afraid to let go but what can he do now?

“Before I let you go, I want to let you know that... I asked you to marry me too. The man you love still asked you to marry him” he hugged you once again so you won’t see him cry because he doesn’t want you to remember him like this. “Why must our love should end tragically? I am not close to being happy but it’s good to know that you are”

He dries his tears and tried to stop crying for a moment so he can say his goodbye properly. “Go back to my cousin he must be waiting for you now. I will stay here, I will be fine. Go, it’s getting cold”

When you gave him what he asked you to do, he turned around and did not watch you leave for he doesn’t want to see you walking away from him.

Love is sacrifice and he understands that all too well now.

May 27

Dear Y/n,

This letter will reach to weeks or maybe months after I send it through a normal mail. I am being hunted down in this country that I’m staying and I have to hide and leave secretly with my guards for my own protection.

The assassins can track me through the royal mail and can use you as bait to find me. I will never forgive myself if that is to happen. I know you understand my situation right now because that’s how much you love me, let’s extend our patience together and meet when it’s safe. I am sorry my love but this is the only way.

But enough about the bad news. Last night I had the most beautiful dream because you’re in it and we are living peacefully in a country away from my responsibilities. The dream was short but it made me imagine a life with you and gave me the courage to ask your hand in marriage.

Will you marry me, when I get home?

I promise to be a good and loving husband while being a king and fulfilling my duties. I promise to never be away when you need me for I know that family is very important to you.

In the morning when you wake up and until you close your eyes to rest at night, I am going to be your husband and not your king.

I love you. Wait for me to get home safe and you will be loved by the man you love.

Hendery

[strawberrylemonz]

Campfire Tales

Part 3 of my series!  Thank you for 100+ followers!!!

As usual, do ask me any questions you may have regarding this series! 

This is dedicated to both @petrichormeraki and @applepie1000

Enjoy!

Part 2

Part 3 [CURRENT]

Part 4

————————

“You’re gonna burn the ‘mallows”

“Am not”

“Are too”

“Am not”

“Are too”

“Calm down, you two”

Everyone was sitting around the campfire as Tommy brought out the sticks and marshmallows. He had already taken out the rest of the supplies to make snacks and drinks using the fire, doing his best to make sure that everyone was comfortable before he explained his time before joining the hermits.

“You doing alright?”

Tommy stiffened at the sound of being addressed so suddenly. Turning to his side, he saw his older brother smiling up at him. Tommy had been feeling very anxious since the group began their hike up to the campfire, so the sight was comforting for him. He returned the smile to his brother, who extended a hand out to him.

“Let me help you with those, Toms. Just sit down and relax for a bit. You’re probably very nervous.”

Now, Tommy would usually bite back with an overconfident comment, but Tommy didn’t feel like his usual self. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and handed Grian the remaining supplies. Grian, in turn, grabbed the supplies before sitting his little brother down on a seat. Ruffling his hair with affection, Grian handed Tommy some marshmallows before setting off to finish handing everything out. 

“You get near that majestic cat, Iskall, and I will stab you”

“Okay, okay, I’m backing off.”

Peering up, Tommy saw Cleo scoop up a cat, before walking off to sit on a different log seat. Iskall, in turn, nervously laughed as if he just escaped death. ‘Wouldn’t be an understatement.’ Tommy thought with slight amusement. Iskall then turned to Tommy, smiling at the younger boy. Tommy, returned the smile, waving at the man. Iskall saw that as an invitation and proceeded to sit down next to Tommy on the log.

“Nervous?”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Well, yeah. You started to tone down on the cussing when we arrived at Pirate’s Pier. You stopped cussing in general when we took Captain Puffy’s ship to the campsite, and you haven’t cussed since. You’re also fidgeting around a lot.”

“Shit”

Iskall let out a laugh as Tommy shoved his face into his hands. Patting the young adult’s back with care, he did his best to comfort Tommy.

“Hey, it’s alright. We’ll understand if you decide to stop telling us. But don’t push yourself to either share past your comfort or to coop up all your feelings. It’s not healthy for you, and we’ll all attack you with care and affection until you feel better.”

Tommy barked out a laugh as he playfully pushed away Iskall’s face.

“That’s all you lot have been doing since I arrived. Been acting like I’m your baby brother, or some shit.”

“Well, that’s the case. At least, for one of us.”

At that, the two peered over to Grian, who was putting up the left over supplies with haste, obviously eager to begin unraveling his brother’s pain.

“He seems more hyper than usual”

“I’m pretty sure it’s on the account that he found out that his favorite raccoon is, in fact, his younger brother.”

“I hope he isn’t disappointed-”

Tommy was interrupted when a hand covered his mouth. Feigning irritation, Tommy peered over at the owner of the hand, Iskall. Quirking an eyebrow at him, Tommy gave a pointed look. Iskall huffed before removing his hand from Tommy’s mouth.

“What the hell was that for, Isk-”

“Don’t say that.”

“Don’t say what? Your name?”

“No, Tommy, not that. Don’t say anything about Grian being disappointed in you being his brother. The two of you have been acting like brothers since the day you two met. You guys are two peas in a pod, burrowing in bases together and pranking any fool who let their guard down. He is more than happy to have you as his brother.”

“How can you be so sure when you say that?”

“Because, Tommy, I saw how he reacted. The two of you obviously couldn’t see that well, with the two of you weeping up an ocean-”

“-Did not-”

“-Did too. Anyways, I saw his reaction to putting the pieces together. It was a whole new Grian, one we never got to see before. His facade fell the moment he saw who you were. Something changed in his eyes, and he held you with more pride and love than he ever did before. He’s more than happy to have you as family.”

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows before looking Iskall in the face. He wanted to doubt his words, he really did. He wanted to believe that he didn’t deserve so much of Grian’s love, that he didn’t deserve a special place in his heart. One look at Iskall’s face, however, was more than enough confirmation that he wasn’t being lied to. As much as Tommy wanted to avoid his brother’s love, he knew he couldn’t. All Tommy could do was to just pray to Clara that this brotherly bond would not be torn apart and bombed, just like his last two. He just wanted a family member he could rely on, not one that would break him with betrayal and miscommunication.

“What are you two talking about?”

Tommy peered up to see Grian standing there, munching on a melted marshmallow. Rolling his eyes, Tommy snorted at him as Iskall laughed.

“Talking about how much of a big man Toms is.”

“Hey! Watch the sarcasm! I am a big man!”

Grian snorted before sitting down on the other of Tommy, getting comfortable on the log. The two brothers shared a smile before Tommy faced the rest of the group.

“Everyone ready?”

A chorus of confirmation was given, a single nod to return them. Sighing, Tommy situated himself and cleared his throat.

“I’m severely grateful for all of you, truly. You’ve all looked past the fact that I was a bastard and decided to keep me around. You guys helped me come to terms with things that I once thought was impossible to come to terms with. You’ve all even helped me heal from those stupid, shitty triggers. I really don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t ended up here, especially looking back to where I was at my previous server.”

He saw everyone’s face gain some form of affection at his words. The pat on his back and the hand on his was all he needed to know that he woild go through with this. They’ve housed him and healed him for over 2 years, they deserved to know what they saved him from.

“Alright, it all started when I got an invite to Dream’s server, the Dream SMP.”

————

Grian didn’t know how to react, how to feel. How could he? It’s not everyday that you find out that the amazing big brothers you idolized weren’t so amazing after all. How could the people that vowed to look after their baby brothers turn around and break the youngest one? Tommy claimed that everything was a misunderstanding, and that he deserved his punishments, but no one deserved punishments that severe.

“-I tried telling them how that made me feel, but Technoblade and Wilbur said that it had to stay in the pit. Tubbo tried to tell me that it wasn’t a big deal, but he was terrified of fireworks for so long after that. Not just fireworks, loud noises in general.”

Grian could tell how uneasy everyone was feeling, but they all understood not to prevent the boy from sharing. He had a lot of built up trauma that he tried forcing away, and that wasn’t healthy for him. He had to get everything off his chest, for the betterment of his mentality and health in general. Grian tried not to grimace as Tommy moved onto the death of the president, how he died of a heart attack. Doing his best to make sure his brother was comfortable, he periodically offered the younger boy drink and snack breaks in order to collect his thoughts. Tommy was grateful for these. 

“-He was so mad that we reinstalled a person to be our leader, saying that we betrayed him, but that’s not the case! I promise you it wasn’t! I wouldn’t have intentionally betrayed someone that I saw as my brother, my idol, my...my friend.”

Grian put an arm around the slouching boy and after making a mental note to help him fix his posture offered him a hand. Tommy happily accepted the comfort, trying his best to compose himself.

“And then he...he...”

“What is it, Tommy? What did Techno do?”

“He asked me if I wanted to be a hero. I didn’t even get to properly answer him. I still remember his words, they are forever engraved in my brain. ‘You wanna be a hero, Tommy? Then die like one!’ Then he set fucking withers on my nation, my home. Pathetic, isn’t it? Haha, and that’s not the worst part! That wasn’t even the worst disaster to have happened on that stupid, cursed day. My nation was blown up, and when I had turned to see what happened, I saw Wilbur, standing there, laughing at the chaos. Next thing I knew, dad- er, Phil, he...he killed him. I lost Wilby. I couldn’t save him from his madness.”

His voice had gotten much quieter as he spoke about that painful day. If everyone wasn’t so quiet they would have missed it, the way Tommy’s voice broke and quivered. Trying not to break, he leaned into his older brother, not paying any attention to the height difference. Grian, in turn, was holding his little brother as if the world would crumble if he let go. His brother was dead, the other blinded by his personal morals. And his father, his hero, murdered his son in front of the others. Grian did his best to listen to what Tommy was saying, not wanting him to feel unsupported. He just sat there and listened.

“-He didn’t even say goodbye to me. He just stood there as Dream took me away. Ghostbur went along with me, which I was grateful for, but the company of a ghost can only go so far, especially when it’s of your late brother.”

No one could believe the burdens put upon the shoulders of these two boys. They shouldn’t have had to deal with any of this, yet they were forced to do so. They couldn’t get mad at Tubbo, he didn’t deserve to be despised after having to deal with such a stressful decision at such a young age. Iskall took over trying to comfort Tommy while Grian tried to drink as much water as he could, as if it would drown all the emotions he was feeling. He felt absolutely sick hearing what Dream put his baby brother through. He suddenly felt amazing at being a Dream slayer. He was sure Tommy would find comfort in that. Tommy eventually got to the end of his stay with Techno. 

“I was hoping that he would understand why I didn’t stay, why I had to leave. As much as I care for him, he was feeding in to my negative thoughts, and I had to prevent myself from becoming everything I didn’t want to be. He didn’t get it, though. I still saw him as a friend, a brother, but he only saw me as a selfish traitor. He only saw me as someone who wanted to use him as a weapon. Phil called me a traitor, too, and they took down my tower. It’s okay, everyone sees them as ugly pieces of shit. Tubbo and I began to slowly heal our friendship as we prepared for Doomsday, but that’s when things got weird. As Tubbo and I went on a walk to discuss our plan, some weird portal opened up in the ground. I felt weightless as I fell in, and then I ended up here. I’ve been here with you guys ever since.”

Before he could say anything else, Tommy was engulfed into an embrace. Grian buried his brother’s face into his chest, kissing his brother’s hair as he rocked him back and forth. Iskall joined in and rubbed the boy’s back, Mumbo approaching and supporting Grian and Tommy’s weight so they wouldn’t fall. Xisuma stood behind the two, hand on Tommy’s shoulder. One by one, Stress, Scar, Joe, Tango, False, everyone began to join in on the comfort circle to give support to the brothers.

--------

Grian and Tommy had not detached from each other since the campfire. No one pointed that out, not this time. They just gave the birdie personal space with his raccoon of a brother. Everyone gave the two smiles, wishing them goodnight as they all left to stay in the lodging of their choosing in the adventure park. Tommy and Grian waved at them before turning to leave to their choice in lodging. After a while, they arrived to their destination, the Antarctic Empire. After standing in the hall and debating which room to stay in, they eventually decided to stay the night in Grian’s room. Once the were changed for bed, the two just sat on the bed, unsure whether or not they should talk about something or force themselves to sleep. Finally, sucking in a breath of confidence, Tommy spoke up.

“So, since festival week is in a few months, wanna help me plan our outfits and hand out fliers?”

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 7/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

The city he had chosen to stay in was terrible.

It was noisy, it was crowdy, and the constant heat was making Levi go insane.

And while the city’s loudness and the amount of people in it made it easier for him to blend in, get lost in plain sight and all that bullshit, the heat— the fucking heat, gods, it was killing him.

Levi didn’t like cold weather, despised all the layer of clothes he had to put on just to get to the nearest supermarket and buy instant noodles, he hated the snow with passion he carried since his childhood, he thought that winter was the worst season of them all.

Oh, how wrong he was.

The heat was making his skin crawl. Even in just tank top and shorts, he felt too hot. Drinking cold water, taking cold showers, none of it helped. Levi turned the air conditioning in his room on maximum, but the motel he was staying at was shitty, his room was shitty, and, as a result, the air conditioning was shitty too.

Levi was sick of it. His skin was constantly clammy and sticky, he couldn’t sleep at night, there was never enough air around him, and walking around the city during the daytime made him seriously consider whether he was actually a vampire.

The sun… could it really burn so much? It didn’t used to be so unbearable before.

But apart from that… Levi was starting to accommodate to his new life.

Leaving his hometown behind, he decided to let go of his previous habits too. He got himself a job - not a respectable, but at least an honest one.

Being a janitor in a shitty bar after spending most of his life as a thief was almost… therapeutic.

The vomit on the walls and piss on the floors were enraging him to the point of seeing red and sometimes he wanted to break a leg of every asshole who didn’t know when they had enough and went to make a mess in the toilet, but… working there was therapeutic nevertheless. And a definite improvement too.

At least, his life wasn’t in danger anymore and he didn’t have to run away from police.

Although, he wouldn’t mind running away from a certain police officer. Perhaps, this time he would let her catch him. Perhaps, then his heart would stop clenching in pain every time he thought about Hange.

Perhaps, then he’d be able to let go.

He tried letting go, forgetting about Hange, just as he tried to put behind his life of crime. Unfortunately, putting Hange behind proved to be that much harder.

Some nights, when the heat was especially bad, he felt especially lonely and the shitty whiskey at the shitty bar he was working at didn’t do the trick, he’d snuck a look at how Hange was doing. He’d open his phone, scroll through a news feed. If he’d get lucky, there would a recording of some press conference with Hange at the center of it all.

Apparently, she was doing well. Her shoulder was almost healed, although sometimes she still winced, when gesticulating too frantically. But the paleness in her face that was present when he had visited her at the hospital was long gone, and at the few press conferences that allowed Levi to catch a glimpse of her, Hange’s cheeks were adorned by healthy, rosy blush. Her hair was just as wild, just as messy, and her voice carried the same inspiring conviction.

Whether Hange found out the truth about him or not, he didn’t know, but she had moved past Ackermans’ case and during the time Levi was getting used to his new life she alredy solved two robberies.

She was working on a new case now, something about a young girl who had mysteriously vanished. Levi didn’t bother to find out the details, the name Krista Lenz meant nothing to him, but nevertheless, he wished that Hange would succeed. She deserved that, her quick wit and determination were meant to be recognized and celebrated.

That bright, happy smile on her face, the one she was sporting during the conference that discussed one of the solved robberies, it suited Hange so much. Levi wished she’d wear it more often.

He wished he’d see it more often, but well… some things just weren’t meant to be.

Strangely so, Kenny didn’t contact him even once. No obnoxious phone call, no mysterious messages or weird gifts. There was no sign of him for almost two months, and Levi would have started worrying, would have tried to contact the man himself, if… if Kenny wasn’t Kenny.

His uncle was like a cockroach, Levi was one hundred percent sure that nothing and no one could cause him any harm. And if there was someone who actually could do this, Kenny would have harmed them back, ten times worse.

Still, the thoughts about Kenny lingered at the back of his mind, and memories about Hange did the same irritating thing. It made Levi feel awfully nostalgic sometimes, borderline melancholic. And fairly quickly he found out there was nothing he could do about it. No amount of whiskey or dirty toilets could chase that sadness away. That sadness was a new part of his new life.

Maybe, it was better than always living on the edge.

Luckily, he didn’t feel so lonely all the time, his colleagues at the bar made sure of that.

And while his boss, a bald, gross man called Shadis definitely wasn’t a joy to have around, two others – a barmaid named Sasha and waiter Connie were so much better.

They were annoying in their own right, of course. Sasha had a weird obsession with food, Connie’s sense of humor left much to be desired, and together both of them were so damn loud, but for brats who barely stepped into adulthood, they provided a fairly enjoyable company.

They let Levi take his mind off certain things, and they kept him from falling into the abyss of loneliness and depression.

They also opened up the side of him that Levi wasn’t even aware of.

Connie had once mentioned in a passing that his mother had died years ago, and whatever happened to Sasha’s family, she wasn’t living with them anymore, sharing a small flat with Connie and another guy, Jean.

In Levi’s humble, unbiased opinion, Jean was a self-centered, pompous jerk. He wasn’t working in the bar with his two friends, and instead had involved himself in some shady shit with a local gang, which apparently terrified the whole neighborhood. Levi wanted to tell the boy that he was a fucking idiot, if he thought that messing with criminals was a good idea, but he doubted that Jean would listen. Luckily, Jean wasn’t around too often and visited the bar only, when he was miserable about some girl he had a crush on, or whenever he wished to get drunk for free.

It was a good thing that Levi barely interacted with Jean. The boy was so annoying. And also – too damn tall.

He didn’t hear about any other friends of theirs, and as far as Levi was aware, there was no actual adult watching over Sasha and Connie, so… he kinda, unwillingly, of course, took that task upon himself.

Obviously, he made sure to remain discreet. He didn’t want the brats to know that he cared, because he didn’t, naturally.

He claimed that he simply cooked too much food and the leftovers would go to waste, if he didn’t give them away, when he brought them pasta or soup. He mentioned his insomnia and pretended that long walks helped him sleep better, when Sasha and Connie went home after midnight. He lied about having experience in bartending when Sasha got stomach flu. He said that he was just accidentally passing by their apartment, when later that day he visited to check on her.

The brats were too dense to notice his subtle attempts anyway, or so Levi hoped. They had never brought it up, and that had to mean something, right?

And that time when Connie tried to fix Levi’s air conditioning, or when Sasha brought a whole jar of his favorite tea, or all those evenings when he felt blue and homesick and they helped him clean the bar and took him out to dinner, surely it was nothing more than a coincidence.

The brats had their moments, Levi had to admit, and sometimes their presence was almost pleasant.

But sometimes they made him wish they shut their mouths and never opened them again.

Right now, that desire was more prevalent than ever.

“Say, Mister Levi,” Levi hated when they called him that, it made him sound even older than he actually was. He told them to stop it, many times. But the brats didn’t care. He slowly raised his eyes to show that he was listening. As soon as he did, Sasha put a fist underneath her chin, forgetting about the important task of cleaning the glasses to stare at him curiously. “Do you have someone?”

“Someone?” he had an inkling of what Sasha was asking him about, but he didn’t wish to discuss that with the damned brats. He didn’t wish to discuss that topic with no one, ever. Because… there was nothing to discuss.

“Yep, someone!” Connie chimed in. “Like, hm, a significant other?”

“A beloved!” Sasha agreed, nodding enthusiastically.

Levi felt the migraine coming. “I don’t have any kind of someone,” he gritted. “And I never did.”

“Really?” Sasha tilted her head to the side, looking so skeptical that Levi was ready to get offended. Was he not convincing enough? “I thought you do. It’s just that sometimes—”

“When you think no one is looking!” Connie swiftly added.

“Your face seems so much softer, and your scowl almost disappears, and you look—”

“Just like Jean when he thinks about Mikasa.”

Who the fuck was Mikasa? And what face was Jean making? Levi couldn’t be making the same one, could he?

“But if you say there is no one,” Sasha sighed, returning to her task of cleaning glasses. Wearing the same sad face as she did, Connie went back to gathering dishes from the tables. “Then I guess we’re wrong.”

Damn right, they were. There was no one, and whatever face they thought he was making, it couldn’t possibly be related to a certain police officer from the other side of the world.

“And if there is no one you have to think about,” Sasha winked, like she was seeing right through him. “Then let me make you a drink. It’s a new recipe I found, it involves tequila, vodka and—”

Levi raised a hand to cut her off. “Just surprise me.”

Sasha nodded and went to work. She frequently let Levi taste her new cocktails. He was the perfect man for it – he didn’t get drunk too fast, and he was the only Sasha’s friend who tasted something better than cheap whiskey or a beer from a local supermarket. He also never shied away from telling her when the drink was fucking awful.

Sasha hummed as she mixed the drink, some song Levi vaguely recognized from the radio. She was smiling too, she did that frequently, and something about her, be it the ponytail that jumped up and down when she was excited, or her easy-going, cheerful personality reminded him of Hange.

These days, lots of things reminded him about Hange. There were days when almost everything reminded him of Hange. It seemed like today was exactly a day like that.

“You’re making that same face again,” Sasha whispered, as she handed him the drink.

Levi scowled, glaring at the girl, as he put the glass up to his lips. He finished it in one go. “It tastes like shit,” he told her. “Put it on the menu.”

Sasha beamed, refilling his glass. “Knew you’d like it.”

“By the way, boss,” Levi wasn’t their boss, as far as he was aware, their actual boss was getting drunk in his office, all the while mumbling incomprehensible gibberish about some Carla. But Levi had to admit, being called boss was so much better than the godforsaken mister Levi. "Are you free tonight?"

Levi was free every day and every night, when he wasn’t working in the bar with Connie and Sasha. It wasn’t like he had any friends or even acquaintances beside two brats. However, saying it out loud would make him look even more pathetic that he actually was. So Levi shrugged, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, “Depends.”

“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Connie asked, looking at him with a smile so hopeful that Levi was ready to say yes right that instant. God, they already had him wrapped around their fingers. How embarrassing. At least, Kenny wasn’t here to witness it. He’d have a laugh of his life, if he found that Levi was adopted by two teenagers. “Jean is away on a trip, so we’d be glad to have some company.”

“He went to see his family?”

From the way Sasha bit her lip and Connie refused to meet his eye, Levi knew – their friend didn’t go on a simple trip. He sighed, taking a sip from his glass and letting the bitter liquid burn his throat. Admittedly, it was none of his business. He shouldn’t care about it, he wasn’t their father, for god’s sake. But… a friendly piece of advice wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Your friend plays with fire. And if he continues doing so—”

“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie crossed hands on his chest defensively. “He is smart.”

Levi couldn’t help but scoff. “Just being smart is not enough. There will always be someone smarter.”

“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie repeated stubbornly. “He’ll be fine.”

Maybe, he will, maybe, he won’t. At the end of the day, Levi had no say about it. He might call them brats, but they were already adults. They were allowed to do as they wished. They were bound to make some mistakes.

“Tell him to be more careful. Otherwise, you’ll suffer too.”

Levi left it at that, not wanting to antagonize Sasha and Connie any further. Besides, it was time to open the bar, or the drunkards all across the block would start banging on their doors. Worse than that, Shadis might come out of his office too. His sour face was the last thing Levi wished to see.

“Let’s get to work,” he nodded to the kids, and took his drink to the dark corner of the room, where he usually spend his shifts, waiting until the patrons start making a mess he’d have to clean.

Surprisingly, the evening came and went, but there was no mess for him to deal with. No one vomited, no one shitted all over the toilets. No one spilled their beer on the floor, or even a table. Were their patrons starting to learn how act like people, and not pigs? Or were they so well-behaved because it was just the beginning of a week? Or did the heat finally get to them and turn them just as slow and tired as Levi himself felt?

However, the weather was more merciful that day. The temperature was still high, too high for Levi’s taste, but just after the sunset the wind was starting to pick up, the storm slowly brewing. During the smoke break outside the bar, Levi could see the lightening, illuminating the far edge of the sky. The rain was in the air, and he allowed his lips to curl up in a pleased smile. Perhaps, he’d finally be able to sleep through the whole night and not toss and turn, feeling like the bed turned into a scorching pan.

When he went back inside, the bar was almost empty, just a few regulars left, nursing their half-finished drinks.

“Do you want to have pizza or sushi?” Sasha asked, as he started sweeping the floor. “We can order both if you wish.”

Levi rolled his eyes with a disgusted tsk. “Eating so much takeout is unhealthy. Let’s finish here and go to supermarket. I’ll cook you something decent.”

Connie yelled a loud yahoo, while Sasha squeezed him in a suffocating hug. The heartwarming moment was cut short, when the door to the bar was thrown open with a loud bang.

It let inside the gush of wind and drops of freezing rain. With a broom still in his hands, Levi turned sharply to the door, ready to rip the unlucky drunkard a new one, the bar had closed almost an hour ago, the sign was right there for everyone to see.

All harsh words died on the way between his throat and his tongue. Levi froze on the spot, and in the silence that followed the lightning strike was as sudden as a gunshot.

Sasha’s distressed cry and Connie’s shocked sob put him out of the stupor.

Throwing the broom away, Levi moved, catching the falling, bloodied boy into his arms.

“Jean!” Sasha was the first one of the two to snap out of it. She ran to Levi, with trembling hands lifting up her friend’s face.

“What the fuck had happened?” Connie kneeled next to them, his eyes wide and scared as he stared at Jean.

Jean looked awful, there was no way around it. His cheeks and jaw were bruised, his right eye was already swollen, and his light brown hair had too much red in it.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked out, too weak and injured to offer something more than a shaking whisper. “I’m sorry, I’ve fucked up, I didn’t know where to run and now they’re coming here, I didn’t mean to do this, I didn’t think, I—”

He could continue that nonessential ramble for the rest of the night. But if they, whoever those they were, were truly coming, Jean and his friends didn’t have that much time. Carefully, Levi lifted Jean’s arm, wincing when he saw that the boy’s shirt was bloodied too, and threw it over Connie’s shoulder. Then he took the key from the back pocket of his shorts and thrusted it into Sasha’s palm.

“Take him to my room in the motel.”

“And you?”

Levi pushed the hair away from his face, already hating himself for his next words. Kenny was right, he cared too much, and it was his biggest weakness, one that would probably get him killed one day. Perhaps, that day had already arrived.

“I’ll stay here and buy you some time.”

“No!” Jean protested, frantically grabbing Levi by the elbow. “It’s my fuck up, you shouldn’t get involved, you don’t know—”

“I do know. And unlike you, I can actually take care of myself.”

Perhaps, he was too harsh, but it was necessary. Jean had fucked up, and whatever he had done, he had to own that mistake and learn from it. That was the only way he would survive through another one of his mistakes.

“Hurry up,” he told Sasha and Connie. “I’ll meet you as soon as I’m finished.”

Thankfully, they didn’t try to argue. Connie wished him luck and Sasha made him promise to come back, and that was it.

As soon as they had left, Levi hopped behind the bar counter to pour himself a shot of whiskey. He lighted up a cigarette, waiting for the front door to swing open and Jean’s persecutors to arrive. Hopefully, they’d do it without guns blazing.

He was just finishing the first glass and was thinking of getting himself a second one, when the mighty kick almost as loud as the thunder outside pushed the door open. Three men tumbled inside a second later, their faces transformed by fury into caricature masks.

“Where is that son of a bitch?” roared one in the middle, their leader, Levi assumed.

Levi was in no hurry to answer. He took the last drag of the cigarette, meticulously put it down against the surface of an ashtray. Then looked at the men in front of him. “The bar is closed. There is no one here but me.”

“Stop fucking with us!” the asshole on the left shouted. “We saw him run inside!”

“If that fucker isn’t here, perhaps we should look around for his friends,” the third man offered. “I know they’re working here.”

So there was no way around it? Levi sighed, walking from beyond the counter. “Just so you know,” approaching the men, he cracked his knuckles. “I don’t condone violence.”

One of the thugs started laughing, the other two immediately followed. Levi didn’t expect any other reaction. The men were burly, large, they definitely weren’t smart.

“What are you going to do to us, midget? Do you seriously think you can beat us up?”

The insult was followed by a punch, a careless, blundering one. Levi effortlessly dodged it, delivering a vicious kick to the stomach of his attacker. The man - who upon the close inspection had yellow teeth and reeked of cheap alcohol – staggered. He caught himself at the last second, holding onto nearest table with white-knuckled desperation. Levi hit again, this time with his knee. With a gasp that turned into a groan, the man fell onto the ground.

Luckily, he stayed there, and Levi turned his attention to the other two.

The one who stood at the left attacked instantly, aiming his enormous fist at Levi’s jaw. There was an unfinished bottle of whiskey on the counter right behind him, and Levi grabbed it, smashing it against the man’s head. The resulting sound was loud, almost deafening. Levi tried to forget about the mess of spilled whiskey on the floor and let himself enjoy that pleasant sound for another moment.

That was a slight miscalculation on his part, because the last man apparently was armed with knife, and he swung it without hesitation. Levi jumped to the side, but wasn’t quick enough. The knife’s edge kissed his cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind it. A mere second later, the knife was in the air once again. Levi was ready for it this time, but as he prepared to take a swift step back, his ankle refused to budge. He looked down to see that one of the defeated men was back in the game, still laying on a floor, but holding Levi in one place. Levi quickly dealt with him, using another leg to kick the man’s head. It took him no more than a moment, but it was enough for him to lose sight of his last attacker. Whatever plan of retaliation Levi had, he lost it, when the knife embedded in his forearm, making him hiss and cuss. Irritated, he roughly grabbed the hand that held the knife, twisting the arm at the wrist.

There was a loud crack, then the even louder scream.

Not too elegant, but, at least, it did the job.

Yanking the knife out of his arm, Levi threw it away, allowing it to clutter on the ground.

“Get the fuck out of here!” he snarled at the men, who weren’t laughing anymore. On the contrary, their faces were panicked, frightened. They pathetically scrambled to their feet, pushing each other to get outside as fast as possible. “And don’t come back!” Levi shouted to their backs.

When the door fell closed, Levi slumped back against the counter. The spot on his cheek was tingling unpleasantly, his arm was hurting like a bitch, and the whole bar had turned into a mess – the shards of glass and spilled whiskey were all over the floor. The blood from his arm was creating a small puddle too.

Levi viciously cursed and grabbed a towel, making a make-shift bandage. It had to do for the time being.

One mess was dealt with, and now another was awaiting him. He’d be lucky if the dirty floor would be the biggest of his troubles tonight.

But somehow, Levi knew that it was just the beginning.

***

Levi never considered himself to be a philosophic kind of person, he never pondered on the meaning of things, never felt the desire to look at the problem at hand from all possible angles, never reflected on his feelings and emotions.

He did however notice that the small room he had rented in a shitty motel at the edge of the city never felt to him like home. It was a place to live, it had a bed to sleep, it held some of his belongings, but it wasn’t a home, it didn’t provoke in him the feeling of belonging that he found inside the walls of his and Kenny’s old apartment.

He spent a little more than two months, living in that shithole, and never once he thought – I’m home, never once he felt – I belong right here.

But something very similar was blooming in his chest, when he passed the threshold of his shitty motel room and fell right into the arms of Connie and Sasha.

Sasha started cleaning his wounds right away, while Connie rushed to get the new bandages for his bloodied arm.

“You should have been more careful,” Sasha chided, and, fuck, he really got adopted by a couple of kids just like that.

“We could have dealt with this ourselves,” Connie said, and then, after a little pause, added, “Probably.”

Levi hummed and resisted the urge to ruffle the hair on their heads. He didn’t have that much affection for the little shits. Probably.

Just as they finished, Jean appeared, unsteadily walking out of the bathroom. He stopped not long after, leaning against the doorframe. Patched up and cleaned, he still didn’t look like his usual, confident and complacent self. Now he reminded Levi of a puppy who was thoroughly and viciously kicked. His hair was now clean of blood, but the shirt was still covered in red patches. Levi would have offered him one of his own t-shirts, but… on Jean’s lanky body it’d look more like a crop top. Or a child’s shirt.

“I’m sorry,” Jean murmured, not meeting Levi’s eyes. “I didn’t know it’d lead to this.”

Yeah, they almost never know. Levi sighed, there was no point in scolding boy any further. He had realized his fuck up already, his buddies from the gang made sure of that.

“What the hell happened?” Levi asked, his back turned to Jean, as he went to prepare the tea for all of them. It would help to soothe some of Jean’s injuries, and it would also help to relieve Levi of the building tension in his shoulders.

“I… wasn’t quite ready for this life, I guess,” Jean sat down on a bed, covering his face with hands. “There is a guy I’ve been working with, he stole some drugs he was supposed to sell, and other gang members found out and decided to punish him, make an example out of him, but that guy… he was my friend, sort of? We hanged out a lot, and I just couldn’t see him get hurt like that…”

“Oh my god!” Sasha’s hands flew to her face and her mouth opened wide. “Did you get beat up because you tried to protect Marco?”

Connie snorted. “I see you’re getting over Mikasa pretty quickly.”

Behind his hands, Jean’s face started to gain color. “I just helped a guy out.”

“And didn’t even ask for a kiss after the heroic rescue?” Sasha teased.

“There wasn’t much time for kisses after the whole gang started running after us.”

“You poor thing,” Connie patted Jean’s head, sharing a mischievous look with Sasha. “Didn’t even get a kiss for all the trouble.”

The two boys started to bicker, and Levi watched the scene, feeling the pounding inside his head increase. It’d be a long, long night. The one he’d have to spend sleeping on a floor, because there were three brats in his room and only one queen-sized bed.

He raised a hand, putting a stop to the argument that was starting to raise in volume.

“Is the other guy alright?” he asked Jean, as he handed him a cup, filled with steaming tea.

Jean accepted the drink with a grateful nod, but didn’t answer the question right away, staring inside the cup thoughtfully. “He managed to get out of the city. The assholes that beat me up caught me just after he got on a bus.”

Well, that was certainly good news. The only one they received since the beginning of this evening.

“You have to run away too, preferably for quite some time. Those guys won’t forget about you so easily. Do you have a place where you can hide?”

“Well…” frowning, Jean rubbed his neck, “My parents have a summer house…”

“Excellent, does anyone know about it?”

“No, not even these idiots,” Jean answered, pointing at Sasha and Connie.

“Then take these idiots, because your gangster pals know, where all of you live and work,” Levi grumbled. “And get out of here first thing in the morning. Spend a few months in the countryside, wait until this shitty storm is over.”

“And what about you? Now they know about you too.”

What about him… good question. And a very easy one to answer. He’d have to change cities again, luckily, he already had some experience with that. Sure, it was an inconvenience, but… better than live his life and have to constantly look over his shoulder, or die in some dirty alleyway. Perhaps, he’d be able to return some day, when the tensions were long over.

“I’ll leave the city,” he told them. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“You had to run away before?” Connie asked, awe written all over his face. “So cool!”

“And you beat up all these guys for us!” Sasha agreed, adoration shining in her gaze.

“You aren’t just a janitor, eh?” Jean stared at him with narrowed eyes.

Levi saved from answering by a loud shrill of the phone.

Everyone in the room tensed, Levi felt his heart pounding inside his chest, a relentless boom, boom, boom. He wet his lips, his throat suddenly too dry, and stood up.

“No!” Jean grabbed his arm, stopping Levi from picking up the phone. Levi understood his panic, it was the middle of the night, who in their right mind would call him at this time? Who would call him period, all the people Levi knew in this city were sitting next to him. Unless, it was Shadis who got out of his drunken stupor and decided to have a friendly chat with a janitor from his bar?

And if it wasn’t Shadis, then…

Acutely feeling his every heartbeat, Levi pulled his arm out of Jean’s grasp. Swallowing that persisting lump inside his throat down, he put his hand on a phone handle. Slowly, holding in his breath, he lifted the phone and put it to his ear.

“Is your name even Levi? Or was that another lie, you asshole?”

That voice. Her voice. Levi helplessly fell back in the armchair behind him.

“H-hange?” the crack in his voice was heard and analyzed by a bunch of kids, who now all stood beside him. Levi waved them away, drowning out the intrigued murmuring, and focused on a person on the other side of the line.

“You still remember my name, I’m flattered, Ackerman,” ah, so she found out. Not surprising in the slightest, but disappointing nevertheless. But how did she find out? And when? And why she was calling now? And how she managed to obtain the number of a motel he was staying at? So many questions, Levi wanted to ask them all at once. He didn’t even know where to start. “And just a piece of friendly advice, next time you go into hiding, don’t go around asking police officers on a date.”

Well, that was one question answered. Only one hundred remained.

“Are you going to arrest me now?”

“No, unfortunately,” Hange bitterly replied. “I need you, Ackerman. For work,” she added, before Levi could get any ideas and just before his heart started racing like crazy. “Take the first flight back to city, if you don’t want me to drag you out of there by force. I’ll be waiting for you in the airport.”

Hange was going to end the call, Levi could practically see her finger hover over the button. Before she did, he cried out, “Wait!” and then, much more calmly he added, “What do you need me for?”

“Your uncle went missing. I need you to help me find him.”

The line went dead immediately after that. It took Levi another moment to pull himself together.

Kenny was… missing? Kenny, his ruthless, unstoppable uncle? And Hange was looking for him? Too much was unknown, too much was unclear, too much was yet to be explained.

One thing for sure, he wouldn’t find the answers here. Well, one problem was solved then, he didn’t have to change cities anymore. He’d just have to return home.

“So.”

Just a short word, but so much meaning was put in it. With a feeling of dread, Levi turned to face Sasha. He shuddered at the sight of her wide, shit-eating smile.

“Hange, hm?” she asked, twirling a lock of hair.

“Hange is your someone, right?” Connie excitedly exclaimed. “Your Mikasa?”

“Hange is his Marco,” Sasha corrected, earning a vicious curse and a middle finger from Jean. “I guess it’s all over with Mikasa.”

It was all over with Hange too. There was nothing with Hange to begin with. And there would be nothing, because apparently she hated him now. For a good reason too.

Fuck. Kenny, Hange, the brats, they all caused Levi a massive headache. And there was no running away from it, they’d find him whenever he ran.

Perhaps, it meant that he had to stop running. And come back home.

“Let’s go to sleep,” he told the kids. “A long journey is ahead of you. And ahead of me too.”

“You’re leaving? To your Hange?”

“Hange is not my someone, I’m just leaving,” Levi grunted, turning off the light. “Go to sleep before I knock you all out.”

Thankfully, they listened and got on a bed without a word of complain.

“It’s good that your Hange found you,” Sasha mumbled, already sleepy. “Maybe, now you won’t be so sad anymore.”

Sasha seemed to fall asleep immediately after, not waiting for Levi’s answer. Or, perhaps, she wasn’t interested in it.

Soon Connie was out as well, and even Jean, after a few of tosses, turns and more than a dozen pained groans managed to settle in comfortably and fall into deep slumber.

Levi didn’t get so lucky, the thoughts about what tomorrow would bring swirling in his mind and keeping him awake.

But, well… at least his melancholy and homesickness wouldn’t be a problem anymore. After two months of being away, he was going home at last.

Strangely, the prospect didn’t seem that thrilling.

[r0zyp0zy0zy]

✾D.K- Two words: fuck, yeah★✶

Master list 

Words: 2535

Warnings/kinks: Somnophilia(?), Exhibitionism(?), masturbation, Denki being a perv

Pairing: Kaminari Denki x reader

Summary: a sleepover with the squad, and Denki being horny

                                    ===NSFW under the cut===

Even if you didn't admit it aloud, you were glad Mina dragged you into her friend group. Even if you were in a different class, you still hung out with the group a lot. It took awhile to get used to since you didn't really have any friends before UA, even Mina; she was an acquaintance at most. So having four loud dudes, and an over dramatic Ashido, was a little much.

Kirishima was very patient with you, encouraging your social growth. Bakugo just never talked to you, Sero was like Kirishima and made sure to tone down his energy. Jiro was pretty quiet, but you loved listening to her music. And Kaminari on the other hand.. was a lot like Mina. Over-dramatic, loud, and energetic, oh and not to mention flirty.

In fact, the first words he said to you were, "woah, hey there beautiful."

Needless to say, you avoided talking to him as much as possible after that encounter with him, you didn't want to embarrass yourself. But after you saw him flirting with literally everybody, it gave you a bit of reassurance that he wasn't doing it just to you.

Over the course of six months, your bond grew stronger with the group, and you even started talking to Bakugo when he wasn't as moody. You were still flustered around Kaminari, trying to work up the courage to make him flustered.

"Pass the popcorn," Mina said to you, pulling you out of your daze.

"Oh— here," you handed her the bowl of popcorn. Only about half of the group was actually watching the action movie.

It was strange being in a boy's room, especially since you were sat on the bed with Mina. It wasn't too odd because it was Sero's. It was comforting, it always smelt like Rose incense, and the fairy lights gave it character.

"Y/n if you're not gonna pay attention to the movie at least let someone who actually is on the bed," Sero said with a raised brow.

"Sorry," you said, scratching the back of your head. You slid off the bed to switch spots with Sero, and realized that you were now sitting next to Kaminari. Ahaha, great.

"Oh hey cutie," he winked. He knew what he was doing. It gave him confidence that he was making a pretty person like you blush.

"Hey Buzzy," you replied with a nervous side-smile. You heard his breath hitch at the new nickname, something you came up with about a week ago after training.

As the movie progressed, you could feel Kaminari's gaze periodically land on your face. It made you self conscious, so you thew your hoodie hood over your head and pulled the strings tight. You heard a giggle from Kami.

"Well that was a boring ending," Kirishima said as he switched off the TV. "They could've at least left it on a cliffhanger."

"Well let's just get settled in, then," Sero said.

"I'm gonna go back to my dorm now. Thanks for the movie," Jiro said.

"Oh yeah, anytime," Sero replied.

Bakugo had also left for his room about an hour ago, already two hours past his typical bedtime. So it was just you, Sero, Mina, Kirishima, and Kaminari. One for the hammock, two for the bed, and two on the floor.

"Who's sleeping on the floor?" Sero asked.

"Not it!" You and Kaminari yelled at the same time, pressing a finger to your nose.

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"..not it! Shit," said Kirishima.

"Well at least you won't be alone on the floor," Sero shrugged.

"I call the hammock!" Mina yelled, jumping onto the piece of hanging fabric.

...shit.

"Well beautiful," Kaminari said, slinging an arm over your shoulders, "looks like you and I will be talking the bed."

"Yeah," you grumbled. "Let me get changed, one sec."

You grabbed your bag and headed to the bathrooms. Of course. Of course this would happen to you. You had to sleep beside your unofficial crush! Wait— what. You let out a sigh at your self-confirmation, slipping on a white tank-top. Well, if you were going to try and fluster him, now would be the perfect time. You pulled on your silky black pyjama shorts, and took a slow spin in front of the mirror. You quickly fixed up your hair and brushed your teeth.

By the time you got back, everyone had changed into their sleeping clothes and were chatting away.

"Oh, y/n! We were just talking about how—" Mina got cut off.

"—how cool Hanta's twinkle lights are! See, they have three different colour settings," Kaminari interrupted, flicking through the settings.

Sero let out a chuckle as he fluffed out his pillow. You might be a little bit of an idiot, but you knew for a fact that they weren't talking about the lights.

Denki took in your sleep-ware, and his jaw nearly broke off the hinges. How on earth was he going to be able to sleep beside you when you were wearing that. True, your shirt had a few random stains, but did you not notice that you could just barely see your nipples through the white fabric?!

Kirishima gave him a quick nudge as if to say, "good luck, careful what you wish for".

Denki knew he shouldn't, but he really wanted to tell you how nice your nipples were. For once he kept his mouth shut, and crawled into Hanta's bed. You and him got separate blankets, but that wasn't enough to calm Denki down. He was going to be laying next to you, while you were wearing the most unintentionally sexy tank top ever. And those shorts... thank god those would be covered under the sheets.

"Ok, what were you guys actually talking about?" You asked, sitting against the headboard.

"We were talking about how Kami's gonna be sleeping with a girl for the first time!" Mina yelled before Denki had the chance to butt in.

Denki felt his face heat up as you started giggling.

"Lucky me," you chortled. You put your hands behind your head as the conversation continued.

"—yeah Denki, why do you brag about being so experienced, but you've never laid down beside a girl before?" Hanta teased, nudging Denki.

"Well you gotta have confidence! That's what gets all the ladies," Denki crossed his arms and stuck up his nose.

"Yeah? Where's your proof?" Kirishima prodded.

"Ok, fine. It hasn't worked.. yet!" Kami said, loosening his stance.

"Whatever you say, Denki," Mina giggled.

The four of them continued to talk for a while, you occasionally giving input. You were pretty drowsy, and remembered that you had barely any sleep the night before. You began to drift, still sitting against the headboard.

Denki let out a startled squeak as he felt a pressure land on him. You were asleep, head leaning on his shoulder, and he felt your arm slowly wrap around his, "uhh."

"Hahaha! Denki you're so red right now!" Mina laughed, hand on her stomach. He felt his cheeks with his free hand, and he was in fact blushing profusely. He leaned over to look at your sleeping figure, and couldn't help but stare at your chest. Your nipples.. were so.. perfect..

"Hello, earth to Kaminari!" Kirishima slapped Denki's leg.

"Ah— hmm?" Denki said, snapping out of his trance.

"You might wanna put a blanket over yourself," Kirishima nodded to Kami's lap.

"O-oh, right. Sorry," denki stuttered. He hadn't even noticed how hard he was, and since he was wearing sweats it was on full show. He quickly grabbed his blanket, and covered his lap. How awkward..

"Imagine if y/n knew what she was doing to you," Mina teased.

"You wouldn't," Denki gulped. No way would you forgive him if you found out.

"But I would," Mina smirked. "Unless..."

"Oh don't blackmail me, Pinky," Denki pouted.

"I wasn't finished!" Mina giggled. "Unless you grow a pair and take her out on a date."

"I-I can't," He started to panic. What if you said no? He didn't usually care about rejection, but with you..

"You've asked out literally every girl in our class, you shouldn't have a problem confessing to your actual crush," Hanta added.

"Ugh," Denki leaned his head back, "but it's different with y/n. I really like her, and I don't wanna fuck things up."

"Your choice," Mina shrugged with a sly grin.

"I'll think about it," Denki frowned. He was too conflicted to rejoin the conversation.

He felt you slip down his arm, and he tried to readjust you, and ended up with your head in his lap. Fuck, not what he intended to do. It felt so good to have some relief from his hard-on, but trying to restrain himself from jerking his hips up— fuck. He did not want you to wake up to him humping your head. He felt his cheeks get hotter, and took a deep breath.

He later managed to gently push you off of him, and covered you with your own blanket. He really needed to have a quick shower.

"Hmmph..?" You mumbled, gripping onto Denki's arm as he tried to escape. Shit.. so cute..

He sighed quietly, and decided to stay in bed. His erection would go away at some point. It was easy but difficult to sleep at the same time. On one hand, you were cuddling into him, and on the other, you were cuddling into him.

Fuck. Erection did not go away. Denki pulled out his phone and squinted at the time: 4:15am. He was now even harder than he was before, but he was still trapped. In fact, you had managed to sneak under his blanket and fully drape one arm over his torso. Shit, Shit.

Maybe he could just peel your arm away from him and— ah crap. Your thighs gripped his leg; another restriction. Denki could admit that he was really enjoying your attention, awake or not. The thought of your crotch so close to him made Denki whimper. He couldn't just go back to sleep, he would end up having a wet dream and horribly embarrassing himself.

Denki guilty looked over to Hanta's side table at the tissue box. He glanced at you again and took a gulp of air. Fuck, here goes nothing. He reached his free hand, (thankfully you only restricted his left), and pulled out a couple sheets. He laid them beside his hip for later. He slowly slipped his hand under his sweatpants, and began to pump himself.

Denki was scared shitless that you were gonna wake up and freak out. God, he was such a pervert. He focused on your thighs, and how wonderfully they felt clamped around his left leg. Your arm was still on his torso, loosely gripping onto his T-shirt.

He let out a soft sigh at the thought of you gripping his shirt as he kissed you, "a-ah~"

Denki shamefully glanced down at your relaxed face. Oh what he'd do for you to let him cum on your face. He picked up the pace, moving his gaze down to your chest. He let out a soft groan when he saw how hard your nipples were, breasts practically falling out of the tank top. He was getting close. Just a little longer.

"Oh fuck y/n, please," denki whimpered quietly, loving the way you shifted your position slightly, your hand falling down to rest on his stomach. He felt butterflies explode inside him, and he quickly grabbed the tissues and laid them on your arm.

"Hmgh," denki struggled. Your tits.. so close to him.. thighs.. oh fuck! He let spurts of cum land on the tissue, a little missing and landed on your hand.

His chest heaved as he tried to breathe properly again. He carefully folded the tissue and dabbed the drop of semen off your hand. He couldn't see the garbage from here, so he just stuffed it in his bag. He haphazardly put his dick away, and sighed contently. He couldn't believe he just did that. Needless to say, he had a good sleep after that.

You on the other hand, had woken up in the middle of Denki's activity. You weren't totally surprised that he did what he did, but you were surprised that he moaned your name, (and the fact that he basically jizzed on your hand). You couldn't help the heat that beat through your body, making you gently grind Kami's leg.

No, you thought. You aren't gonna do what Buzzy just did.

You had a bit of a restless sleep, waking up about every 30 minutes. When you finally did fully wake up, you realized that you were basically on top of Kaminari. Your left leg sprawled over his pelvis, and your left arm gently holding onto his broad shoulder. Just as you were about to try and get more sleep, you felt Kami stir awake.

"Oh fuck," he whispered groggily, using his left hand to stroke your hair/head.

"Oh hey Denki," Kirishima greeted, giving him a toothy smile.

"Hey," he replied, rubbing his eyes.

"L/n sure looks comfortable," Kiri teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I know," Denki groaned, "she was like this all night. Not that I'm complaining or anything."

"All night?" Kiri asked.

"Yeah, I basically couldn't move."

"Well good luck with that," Kirishima grinned, "I'm going to the gym with Bakugo, tell the others?"

Denki nodded as his friend left the room. You decided now was the time to 'wake up', and you shifted around your weight, "hmm."

"Morning miss cuddle bug," Kaminari said, grinning stupidly as you looked up at his face.

"Good morning," you mumbled, "sorry about that, I kinda latch on to anything in my sleep."

"Don't worry about it, it was nice," Denki blushed.

You peeled you leg off him, as well as your arm, "I'll be right back. Bathroom."

His eyes trailed your ass as you left the room.

"So Denki," Mina popped up, causing him to yell in surprise, "how was sleeping with y/n~?"

"Erm-" he started.

"I know what you did," Mina said evilly.

"W-what?!" Denki jumped out of the bed. "Please don't tell, I'll do anything—!"

"Denki I was kidding!" Mina interrupted. "I don't even wanna know what you did, you big perv."

He gulped nervously, "I-I'm gonna be right back."

Denki sped out of Sero's room, nearly bumping into you down the hall.

"Whoa, what's the rush?" You asked, now in a hoodie.

"Mina— was—," Denki huffed.

"Teasing? Typical," you rolled your eyes, "anyways, I need to ask you something."

Denki got nervous all over again. Ask him what? Why he jerked off last night? "O-ok, shoot."

"Did you know that you're super comfy? Like actually," you continued.

"Oh r-really?" He replied. What a dumb reply, at least say 'so are you' dunce face...

"Mhm! And something else," you licked your lips. "Can we cuddle again sometime?"

Denki practically choked on his saliva, "y-yes! Of course!"

"Cool," you smiled up at him, continuing your way back to Hanta's room.

Two words: fuck, yeah.