#also just watched all of those boys fix their hair at least 4 times so that one commentator from miami can suck it
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F2 Sprint highlights
god i love f2 - immediately Joshua Durksen just goes directly into the wall taking two cars out with him
no one knows what just happened - the commentators are trying desperately to try and figure out what just happened
- everyone is okay
I believe it was Enzo Fittpaldi who just swore very loudly?
correction FIVE cars out in one go
five lap safety car with paul aron in the lead - their all chilling
And away they go - paul aron is off into the sunset
overtake from franco colapinto
pepe marti with a 10 second penalty from start of the race issues - a stop start penalty (shameless self-promotion: i've got a post on penalties if your curious)
their playing follow the leader (follow-follow me, in a line, in a line)
there's not a lot to talk about tbh their all playing very nice as of lap 12
shoutout to Ollie Bearman doing better f1 standings than he is in f2
Zane Maloney is coming for third - and does not get it
Franco Colapinto and Paul Aron battling for first - Franco is basically antagonizing Paul
I'm not going to lie, I got distracted looking for this really niche elementary school song/game that i referenced above and only found a really lame version of it where they just pose - that shit was like sudden death when i was a kid.
Anywho in FP3 in f1 the presenters made a really good point that both Zane Maloney and Paul Aron are doing better than Antonelli and Bearman yet were not talking about them for possible seats next year - and that we should talk about them more, so good job dudes
Midfield battle with Kimi Antonelli in the lead
Zane Maloney finally over takes Amaury cordeel in a smart breaking move around the outside
Colapinto chasing down Aron
AND HE DOES IT ON THE LAST LAP - they were so close to contact after Aron has the slighest mistake
Gabriel Bortoleto gives a last ditch attempt at taking p5 from Ollie Bearman and gets blocked
Franco Colapinto will be the first Argentian driver on the f2 podium!!
Paul Aron is not having a good time
The commentators are giving Franco some very sweet notes
a minute of dead silence in the driver cool down room
Lowkey vibing with Argentina national anthem - he looks so proud, as he should be
Damn did Paul Aron really just walk away during the Champaign spraying??
#and another history making race is done#also some please tell me they recognize the song i was refernceing#also just watched all of those boys fix their hair at least 4 times so that one commentator from miami can suck it#do we like f2 highlights - cause this is the first time i've done them and we'll see#f1#imola gp 2024#paul aron#zane maloney#franco colapinto#formula 1#formula 2#f2#ollie bearman#kimi antonelli#amaury cordeel#joshua durksen#enzo fittipaldi#pepe marti
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Hate That I Loved You
Now complete on AO3!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 â
"Are you nervous?" Chrissy asks him as she fixes his hair inside the limo. Eddie smiles tightly at her.Â
"No."
She rolls her eyes and Eddie lets out a long breath.Â
"A little."
"Don't be," she says and Eddie is the one rolling his eyes now.
"Wow, Chris. Very helpful."
She pats his face affectionately. "Seriously, it's going to be fine. The music video is going to be a success, you're getting another grammy nomination and you're probably going to become the most insufferable person on earth."
Eddie lets his head falls back and closes his eyes, trying to get enough air in his lungs. The car feels stuffed and hot and-
"Hey. Just breathe," Chrissy says. She places her soft hand on his shoulder, but it's not the same. The voice is wrong and the touch is wrong and everything is justâŠ
"I'm fine," he says and Chrissy frowns because she doesn't believe him, but she knows better than to fight him over it.Â
"What are you worried about?"
"What I'm not worried about? I'm worried everyone will hate the video, I'm worried Lou is going to show up here even though I explicitly told him not to. I'm worried people will hate the music, say it's too much."
Chrissy doesn't seem fazed by any of that. "The song is not too much, the music video is perfect, we already ran pre-tests and everyone loves it, Lou is not getting anywhere near this place tonight and all security is aware of him and with clear instructions to get rid of him right away. Now. What's really worrying you?"
Fuck. "What if he shows up?"
"Lou is not-"
"Not Lou. Steve. What if Steve shows up?"
"Don't you want him to?"
Eddie opens his eyes and almost laugh at how confused Chrissy is looking right now. He's such a mess.Â
"I don't know. I want him to. I miss him. I invited him. But he hasn't responded and I'm not sure if it will be worse if he shows up or if he doesn't."
Chrissy smiles then, and Eddie doesn't get it. It's not something nice or sweet. Eddie fucked up again, even when he said he wouldn't. He cleared the air with Steve. Apologized for being a jackass when they were together.Â
Then Steve said he was happy, and Eddie couldn't possibly risk that. He couldn't risk going back into Steve's life knowing he could ruin everything again. So he took a step back, watched him as Steve noticed the change and he let him fucking leave.Â
At least, this time, Steve was the one that left. It was all on him and if he also wasn't sure, if he was happy just how he was, then Eddie was glad he didn't mess it up.Â
"Ok, here's the deal. You can't control whether or not Steve shows up. But you can control everything else. You can get out there and have a killer launching party. You can read the awesome speech I wrote to you and you can have fun with your band. If Steve doesn't show, then you probably have your answer."
"What if he shows up?" Eddie asks, hand pulling at a strand of hair anxiously.Â
Chrissy bats his hand away. "Then you'll also have your answer, sweetie."
"But, like⊠What do I do, Chris?"
"You don't let him leave this time, dumbass."
Easier said than done.Â
-
As soon as he steps into the red carpet, Eddie is a new man. He's still nervous, of course, but it's easier to put on the mask of rockstar Eddie who doesn't really care about anything when all those people are watching.Â
He answers a couple of questions, takes a lot of pictures and moves along, waving at some fans that are standing outside and promising to come talk to them once the event is over.Â
He walks straight on, doesn't look back. He sees the boys already there, standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him so they can all go inside together. The place is amazing, there's food and drinks and everyone that's anyone is there.Â
Eddie is ready. And then. Then he is not.Â
"Eddie?"
He whips his head around. Wishes he could stop meeting Steve like that. Wishes he could prepare himself for the blow that it is to see him.Â
He's beautiful. Looks like a dream in a fitted suit.Â
But he's fidgeting with his hands, eyes a little glassy. He's nervous, looks like he's holding his breath while Eddie doesn't answer him, just stares, dumbfounded.Â
Right. He needs to answer him.Â
"Steve, hey," Very eloquent. "I'm⊠Surprised to see you here."
Steve flinches visibly and Eddie needs to keep his damn mouth shut. Before Steve can say anything or give him an excuse to bolt out of there, Eddie takes the steps he needs to get to him.Â
Then, his voice is nothing more than a whisper.Â
"I'm glad to see you here."
Steve blinks and his expression softens.Â
"Thanks for inviting me. It meansâŠ" Steve trails off, his words getting lost somewhere between Eddie and all those people around them.
Eddie can see flashes going out and there's a part of his brain reminding him they are in public. He grabs Steve's hand.Â
"Wanna get out of here?"
Steve looks taken aback. "You mean, go inside? Yeah, sure, I think we-"
"No, I mean get out of here. My car is still outside, I can take us anywhere."
It takes a second for Steve to process what Eddie is saying. He squeezes his hand and nods his head.Â
"Yeah, ok."
Then, they are off, hands linked together as Eddie pulls Steve in the opposite direction of everyone that's getting on the red carpet. There's still flashes going off and he hears people calling his name but the only thing he cares right now is the feeling of Steve's hand on his and the certainty he's not going to let him leave again.Â
-
The light of his phone illuminates the inside of the limo. Everything is quiet, Steve is pressed up on his side even though there's all this space inside the car. He reads Chrissy's messages that he's been ignoring for the past five minutes.Â
'Where are you?'
'Eddie, seriously!! Pick up the damn phone!!'
'People are saying you left!!! where the fuck are you?'
His fingers are hovering over the keyboard when a new message comes in, the loud sound echoing through the silence.Â
'that times photographer said you left with a mysterious man so either this is Steve and you're fixing things and I'm giving you a pass or you can get your skinny ass back here because you won't miss this premiere for a random hookup'
'just warn a girl next time! and use protection!'
Eddie locks his phone with a loud groan, and Steve chuckles beside him.Â
"Everything ok?"
"Yeah, Chrissy is just about to kick my ass when I see her again, but it's fine."
"We can go back," Steve offers and Eddie finally looks at him. The lights come and go as the car moves and Steve's eyes are still shining.Â
"I don't want to go back," Eddie says and then, "I want to be here with you."
For some reason, that seems to be enough for Steve to snuggle a little closer to him. They don't talk much during the rest of the drive, but all Eddie can feel is how right everything is.Â
-Â
His house is big. He knows that, objectively. He doesn't even care that much, he mostly just likes that he has space for all his instruments, has a small studio for when he's feeling restless and enough space for the band to hang out and crash whenever they feel like it.Â
He likes it because it feels like home, but the wide-eyed expression Steve is giving the house right now also makes him feel a little self conscious. He knows Steve doesn't care about that stuff, but it's weird to know Steve knew his uncle's trailer and now is seeing this.Â
It makes him afraid Steve won't see him as the same person anymore.Â
Eddie takes a deep breath and tugs Steve's hand until they are moving again, walking inside the house. He doesn't have a plan, doesn't even know why he brought Steve back to his place because if this is Steve letting him down easy, it's about to get really awkward.Â
"Want something to drink?" he offers, hand still curled around Steve's, doesn't know if he knows how to let go.Â
Steve shakes his head, eyes the couch and it's crystal clear. He wants to get this over with. Eddie can understand that.Â
"Ok, soâŠ" Eddie says when they are sitting down. They aren't holding hands anymore and Eddie misses it.
"Let me talk," Steve says in one breath. Eddie is a little surprised. "Can I go first? I justâŠ"
"Yeah. yeah. Ok"
Steve flexes his fingers and bites his lower lip.Â
"Ok," he says, resting his hand on the couch. Not touching. Is that a sign? Are things about to go badly between them? "You hurt me."
Ouch. Eddie flinches even though Steve's expression remains soft. His words are harsh.Â
"I'm sorry, Ste-"
"I'm talking."
"Oh. Sorry. Go ahead."
"You hurt me. Back then, when you left. And then last month, when I flew across the country for you and you pulled back. I don't⊠I can't take it anymore, Eddie. I don't think I can handle getting hurt by you again."
Steve closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they are a little glassy like he's about to cry. Fuck. Eddie is not doing too good himself, and this is worse than he imagined.Â
"But I also don't know if I can let this go. Let you go. It feels like we keep missing each other and doing things the wrong way and I don't want to do anything wrong anymore. I want things to be right and I want you."
Eddie blinks as Steve's words sink into him. He's not sure what he's supposed to be feeling but there's something shaped like hope trying to emerge from inside of him. He wants to grab it and keep it.Â
"Steve, what are you-"
"I'm not done," Steve says and Eddie shuts his mouth. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt, you know? You pulled back after the shoot and I figured you were overwhelmed. Tired. Sad. Your jackass ex was there, you had to shoot for three days straight and the song is really heavy I just⊠I made excuses for you but I need to know, Eddie, because it's killing me."
There's a long silence before Eddie realizes Steve wants him to talk.Â
"Sorry. I-"
"Stop saying sorry."
"Sor-. Shit. I mean⊠Fuck, Steve."
Steve keeps his face neutral as Eddie struggles over everything. He doesn't understand what Steve is saying and he's afraid to think it's what he wants because he never gets what he wants. Not when it comes to love.Â
"You pulled back. You made me leave because it would make you feel better, to think this was my choice, but it was never my choice. It wasn't my choice when you left all those years ago, and it wasn't my choice last month. I would never choose to leave you, Eddie. Don't you see it?"
"But I keep hurting you!" he says because it doesn't make any sense. Steve shouldn't want anything to do with him.Â
"And I keep coming back because I fucking love you and I hate that I love you. Still. After everything."
Eddie's heart is almost beating out of his chest and when Steve looks away from him, it breaks a little. He moves on the couch, closer to him, and his hand finds Steve's chin so he can tilt it in his direction. So he can look him in the eyes when he says what he needs to say.Â
"Steve. Fuck. I know you don't want to hear it but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my egotistical ass hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you think you needed to leave and I'm sorry I left you. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted you more than anything. More than music and fame and whatever. Things only make sense if you're here and when you showed up for the shoot⊠That's when I realized it. I need you. I love you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize I never stopped loving you. Please, please tell me I can still fix this."
Steve blinks quickly, his eyes are a little wet and Eddie wants to run but he can't. Even if Steve tells him to go fuck himself, he owes it to him to sit there and take it.Â
But instead of cursing him or pushing him away, Steve nods. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there.Â
Eddie feels like floating away. "Can I kiss you?"
Steve nods again and Eddie feels like he's moving in slow motion. His hand cups Steve's jaw and pulls him in until their breaths are mixed. He's eager for the kiss but he wants to memorize everything about this. About Steve.Â
How he closes his eyes and his eyelashes glow with the tears he was holding back. How he opens his mouth a little and licks his lips, waiting. How his hand grips the couch hard, as if he needs something to keep him grounded.Â
Eddie's free hand finds his waist and pulls him until Steve is almost on top of him. He pushes his hair back, counts every freckle on his face and wonders how he lived without him for so long.Â
Never again.Â
Eddie dips in, lips brushing Steve's and heart hammering in his chest. The kiss is slow, sweet, soft, but it kicks in his muscle memory and soon he's giving Steve what he wants. Just how he liked it. His hand finds the hem of his shirt and he touches warm skin, hopes Steve will let him take them to the bedroom later.Â
For now, he kisses him, and Steve kisses him back.
#steddie#steddie fic#rockstar AU#second chance romance#stranger things#eddie munson#Steve harrington#hate that I loved you#Eddie munson x Steve Harrington
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guy who is definitely one of your dps mutuals here. you should do at least one of these five or i will throw pebbles at you. any character because i have definitley watched hit film dead poets society 100%.
AHHHHH YAYAYAYY!!
Im just gonna do what I want character-wise bcs you didn't specify but I'll try and do all the ones you asked for!! :DDD
1, appearance hcs:
Knox's teeth are chipped at the front and partially fake, he fell on his face while trying to ride a unicycle and impress a woman.
Meeks has bunny teeth, has had heavy-duty braces for YEARS trying to fix them. He doesn't mind them, actually, but his dentist said that he should and he went along with it. He has a bunch of birthmarks!!
Todd's nose is always a bit red and his lips are always pink. He just permanently looks cold and sickly. His eyes are blue-gray, and he has some slight freckles on his nose.
Neil has the longest, most gorgeous eyelashes known to man and is covered in beauty marks. He's pretty, that's it.
Cam is a daywalker!! While Meeks has a ton of freckles, he has absolutely none. He also used to have braces, but he didn't really need them. He has absolutely perfect teeth now, though. He also, like Charlie, spends a ton of time on his hair every morning. It's the only time they get along.
2, weird quirks:
Todd tends to chew on anything near his mouth unconsciously, but he doesn't really like gum. He overuses lipbalm, specifically mint.
Neil likes to stare into bright lights and follow the spot it creates afterwards. His mother jokes that this quirk of his is the reason he needs reading glasses, and his father's face gets very pinched every time she does.
Pitts drums his fingers on everything. He likes to create little beats with Meeks.
Charlie tends to doodle on everything, whether that be paper, desks, his skin, or his friends', usually his friends'. He often doodles naked women. He's a very bad artist.
3, disabilities:
Meeks has problems with his knee joints and uses forearm crutches on bad days!! He's also very asthmatic
Cam has chronic migraines :(
Spaz is hoh and uses crutches as well on top of his asthma and allergies, the poor guy
Todd is autistic!! (he's just like me fr)
4, love language!!:
Neil is a very touchy person, as he communicates his affection that way, but he personally likes honest conversation and spending quality time with someone the most. His "guilty pleasure" (in his mind) is words of affirmation.
Todd thought himself touch-averse until he met the poets (namely neil) and suddenly, he wanted to be as close to them as possible. He enjoys spending quality time with and doing acts of service for those he loves, and he likes receiving words of affirmation and the same quality time back.
Meeks, Pitts, and Charlie all like giving and receiving physical affection, though Meeks also likes quality time, Pitts likes words of affirmation, and Charlie is... Charlie.
Cam likes words of affirmation and quality time! He's very touch-averse and slow-moving.
Knox is... Knox. He communicates through physical touch and likes receiving words of affirmation in canon, so no hcs for him really.
As for music,, ahh I really can't decide. I mean Meeks and Pitts have a canonical music taste, and Charlie would definitely listen to bowie if he was around in the 50s, but he wasn't, so.
All I can think of is that Charlie would enjoy Elvis purely because of his "lewd" dancing and Cam would feel the exact opposite. Cam would probably listen to popular, safe pretentious white boy music like frank Sinatra and classical hits. I feel most of the other poets would have similar music tastes, as all they really know is the stuff Meeks and Pitts play, but Charlie's rich so he has a bunch of records AND a radio at his house.
#dead poets society#whooo that was a lot#dead poets headcanons#richard cameron#neil perry#todd anderson#charlie dalton#knox overstreet#stephen meeks#gerard pitts#headcanon asks
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hi! iâd love to request a matchup for hazbin hotel :))
i have short wavy hair and an asymmetrical haircut, my hair is currently dyed red, i have brown hair and brown eyes and i wear glasses. i have a baby face, im short and kind of chubby, and a little insecure about my appearance.
my zodiac is cancer sun, taurus moon, leo rising if that helps you at all!
iâm pretty sensitive but i hate showing it (and usually donât, im a pretty good actor). i can be pretty clingy and insecure, but i try not to let it show too much.
i can get pretty lonely and i love to share all my obsessions with people, but i also get drained from social interactions pretty quickly.
i love having people who can make me laugh, and especially people who laugh at my jokes. i really enjoy having people to banter with.
my main love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation, but i really like quality time and acts of service as well.
i hate being condescended, or feeling dismissed or like im not being listened to. if i feel like my opinion or presence is unwanted in a situation iâll shut down very quickly, but if someone i love makes me feel that way i tend to lash out. i try my best to communicate how im feeling but i can get really emotional sometimes.
i wear some variation of the same outfit everyday, i love music, movies, watching tv, reading, and writing. i love animals but im kinda scared of going outside (bugs and allergies). iâm very awkward and i talk a lot when im nervous (which is like all the time). iâve been a theater kid since i was 4 years old and i love disney movies (my fav is princess and the frog). iâm the kind of person who doesnât really like to talk to new people unless i have to so im terrible at making friends. i can be quite rude but i donât try to be i just canât read social cues. i really really love rocks, im vegetarian (or at least trying to be), deficient in like a million vitamins, have a bad stomach, auditory processing issues, and mental illness. i have very dry humor and i say things without thinking about them, so i make really weird jokes that usually only i understand. i get sick pretty often, i get lightheaded easily and have bad joints. i love sweet things and would eat nothing but chocolate all the time if i could. i canât keep eye contact well, i stare at random areas on peoples faces when in conversation. i need time to recharge alone after pretty much any social situation. im a bit of a perfectionist and i can become obsessive over trying to fix everything thatâs bothering my friends or those i love. i can be quite irritable and get frustrated easily especially when im anxious but itâs pretty easy to calm me down with a hug or verbal affirmations. iâm kind of like a cat in the way that i can be extremely clingy but sometimes i hate to be touched. i take a lot of naps and i might have narcolepsy and/or chronic fatigue.
iâm trans-masc and bi (but i prefer boys).
Okay okay, so I think you match up best with
LUCIFER
(No it's not just because you're a theatre kid and he's voiced by Jermey Jordan)
I feel that based off of how you described being really sensitive and emotional, this man would be (relatively) well equipped to handle it. I also think that he would be really good for making you feel comfortable (Sorry I'm shit at explaining my reasoning for things sometimes đ)
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I can't help but think about what the men's bathroom at the VP would look like early in the morning.
Like, think about it; a multitude of different personalities, clashing at the importance of their needs in hygiene.
Wouldn't that be fun to watch?
Those who take barely any to no time up in the bathroom: KAY/O, Omen and Cypher
I mean, it's pretty obvious why. KAY/O is a machine.
Omen is.....a ghost...in one way or another.
And Cypher, well, he is Cypher. He wouldn't risk being seen, not even for the sake of proper hygiene. It's not like they can smell his breath under his mask anyway. Otherwise, I would say he showers frequently with his mask on, but I don't think he waterboards himself willingly.
Agents who take a fairly decent amount of time up in the bathroom: Yoru, Chamber and Brimstone
Yoru takes 3 minute showers, so there is no problem with that. It's the fact that he stays almost half an hour in front of the mirror, fixing himself. He needs at least 3 cans of hairspray to get his hair stand up like an onion's end. He also plucks his eyebrows. (Sorry Yoru, but I ain't buying your eyebrow split.)
Chamber canonically drowns himself in expensive perfume and colognes. Dang, who would have thought? I'm pretty sure he waxes too, but only in his free time. Chamber is as smooth as a baby's butt, and he is weirdly proud of that.
Brimstone's an old dog. He takes a little bit longer to get ready, but he still manages to keep up with the younger ones. While I would like to say he shaves, I honestly do not think he does. He is past that age line, and he even only trims his beard maybe once or twice a month. Honestly though? Out of all the male agents, he smells the best. Like, you won't be smacked in the face by Dior Sauvage Eau de Toilette as you walk by. (Looking at you, Chamber) He just smells really nice.
The one who could be done within 10 minutes, but decides not to: Phoenix
He sings in the shower. I don't know what more you want me to say.
The ones who take fOREVER: Breach and Sova
Ship aside, I had to think a lot about these two. Like, A LOT. As someone, who has a long military line in the family, and also really fucking long hair, I had to sort all pros and cons for these two on why they would be either the first ones ready in the morning, or the last ones. Oh well...
Breach is a Viking. Most of you might know that back in the middle ages, Vikings took pretty good care of themselves hygiene wise, compared to everyone else at the time. So, I do have to say that, while Breach is the most homeless looking out of all Agents (Twitter's words, not mine. I'd marry his ass any time), he is definitely the cleanest in all of VP. Yeah, you heard me. That man smells nice, he takes showers regularly, he washes and brushes his hair, shaves, and keeps himself generally clean. As soon as he is done with his work out, or has returned from a mission, the first thing he does is hit the showers. He doesn't even use any expensive scented products. It's just soap and water, man. Also he puts his hair in a clean braid every day. (I've got really long hair, and let me tell you, even if I sold my soul, I could never keep my hair in a braid for more than 4 hours. Hair strands always manage to escape somehow and I end up looking like a feral witch.)
I strongly believe Sova shaves every morning. This is evident through his shadow beard. (You know, the grey shadow around his chin that comes from shaving) Just like Chamber, Sova has a military background, therefore spending enough time on getting ready in the morning wasnât exactly an option. I genuinely think, that he can finish in 2 minutes or even less, and be battle ready in under 4. But this is where it got confusing, right, because Sova has long hair. And taking care, every morning, of said long hair, isnât exactly easy. Even worse is, that the boy just puts a fucking clip in it and calls it a day.Â
He is possibly one of the best, if not the best Agent at VP. But as a soldier AND marksman, do you really want your long hair dangling in front of you, blocking your vision?
Like, yeah sure, he takes good care of it, and if anyone were to smell or touch his hair, theyâd feel heaven on earth because it is just that soft. Yet, I still think he should at least keep his hair better together.
Iâm not saying he should have kept it in a braid instead, but, he should have kept it in a braid instead. (I love his long hair, and you could try to pry it from my cold dead hands, but substance over style, okay? Look at Breach, he got the memo) Other than that, Sova definitely sweats a bit more than the other Agents, so he uses a lot of deodorant. Also, big fan of face creams.
Bonus: All other Agents complain about Sova's and Breach's hair being on the ground and sink, and just... everywhere. Oh, the curse of luscious, strong, long hair.
Good day.
Them Ladies are next đđ
#well this just turned into a unnecessary rant#but also you can tell who my favourites are lmao#im not sorry#valorant#sova#breach#chamber#cypher#KAY/O#brimstone#phoenix#omen#yoru#valorant headcanons#headcanon#funny thoughts#blackrage writing
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the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay đđđđ
P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable
anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he wonât be having more children
so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind itâs heavily angsty!;
tw: vomiting, ppd and od
oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks
Motherhood was really fucking hard.
The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.
It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after youâd taken her home that itâd all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.
âSsh ssh,â Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasnât accepting your milk. She hadnât been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying âOh iâll just try later.â Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. âMummyâs coming.â
As much as you didnât want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. Youâd tested it on your hand to make sure it wasnât too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didnât taste any different to you. Then again youâre not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.
âLook hereâs mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!â Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasnât as happy for her as he was.
âYeah.â You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasnât just rejecting you.
But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.
âSuch a sweet girl, arenât you?â Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew sheâd become. It just hurt that it wasnât you that could help her become that.
You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldnât even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps youâd never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldnât need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you werenât worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didnât think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.
Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you werenât a good enough mum for her and that she didnât feel safe enough around you. She didnât find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something youâd clearly never be able to give her.
There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they werenât old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasnât even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when youâd completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.
âYou two boys okay?â
You walked into the childrenâs playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felixâs little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oliâs legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.
âYep!â Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.
âWhat are you both drawing?â You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.
âWeâre colouring for daddy.â Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.
His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you werenât doing enough. Maybe you werenât meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.
âO-oh,â you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. âTell me about them then, my loves.â
Oli went first, âSo this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. Itâs us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.â He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but youâd never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you werenât a part of that.
âOh thatâs so good Ols!â you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felixâs, âWhat about you Fix?â
âI drew daddy as the best.â He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of âmy heroâ.
âI told him to write hero, mummy.â Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.
âWell done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!â You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. âShall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?â You asked, trying to feel useful.
âDaddy is making us smoothies!â Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didnât catch the tears in your eyes.
âOkay! Donât forget to give him those pictures - heâll love those.â You praised them and they both giggled to each other.
The sight of your sons laughing shouldâve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you werenât the source of their happiness. You werenât on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely werenât their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didnât need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.
Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.
You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when sheâd next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldnât help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldnât be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.
Youâd found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road youâd judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when youâd only had 37 minutes but whoâs counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.
There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. Youâd never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you wouldâve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you werenât energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.
Last night had been that night.
Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.
You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didnât want life.
It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.
âMummy? Can you come tuck me in please?â Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.
Youâd gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and thatâs when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. Youâd made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before youâd passed out youâd stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.
âMummy! Wake up!â Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.
Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as heâd gotten Belle down.
âYâalright buddy?â Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belleâs room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.
âNo. Mummyâs not waking up.â Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.
âSheâs probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.â
âSheâs really tired all of the times.â
âI know, Ol.â Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that youâd overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didnât truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that youâd been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.
Hell, was he so wrong.
âGo to bed, bud okay? Iâll be there in a minute.â
âWake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.â
âIâll try little man, alright?â Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.
Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry youâd be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.
âBaby?â He spoke softly, nudging you gently, âBaby wake up.â No response. âY/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.â Normally you wouldâve stirred by now but there was still nothing. âY/N?â Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. âY/N!â He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.
He turned you over and thatâs when he knew this was very, very, bad.
Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.
âNo, no, no. Y/N! No you donât.â Harryâs eyes starting weeping and he couldnât think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldnât be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. âFuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You donât get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck iâm so sorry.â He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.
999
âWhatâs your emergency?â
âI need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.â
The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belleâs deafening screams. Harryâs heart beating for the both of you.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.
Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs werenât receiving properly.
It then dawned on you how you werenât in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You canât really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.
Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasnât asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you werenât sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.
You squeezed his hand three times saying âI love you.â
âY/N,â He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and youâd done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where heâd been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadnât been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.
âIââ Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. âIâm sorry.â You were whispering so you didnât disturb anyone else in the room.
âNo, stop it. Iâm sorry baby.â
âHarry donât, you donât have anytââ
âStop yes I do Iââ
âHarry please you donât oweââ
âY/N listen!â He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. âWhatever youâre going to say, donât. Whatever youâre thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me insteadâ.
âHarry, you donât meanââ
âMy god Y/N! You donât get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. Iâd suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum youâd be and what beautiful people youâd help bring up into the worldââ
âBut iâm not.â You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didnât let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.
âNot what?â He asked, although he already knew the answer. Youâd both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.
âA good mum. Iâm- iâm not a good mum or wife, Harry and iâm sorry.â
âI told you not say it and stop thinking it, because youâre completely wrong Y/N. Youâre a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.â
âBut iâm not great.â You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. âIâm not the best.â
âBut you donât have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?â Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. âThey wouldnïżœïżœïżœt be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you donât got this, but baby youâre already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.â
âIâm just so fucked up Harry.â Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.
Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and youâd missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.
âListen to me.â He ordered, keeping you still. âYou are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.
âYou are.â You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.
âJust let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then letâs do it, and iâll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, thatâs okay we canââ
You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. âNo, no please, no.â
âOkay, okay, love. We wonât. See, youâre okay. I promise, youâre okay. Stay with me, yeah? Iâll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.â
âPromise.â You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didnât care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. âI think.. I think I want to try medication please.â
Harry didnât say âokayâ or âsure thingâ, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying âI love you.â Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but youâre doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasnât going to be easy, but worth it.
âIâm proud of you.â
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fanfiction#finelinevogue#finelinevogue harry styles#harry blurb#harry oneshot#harry styles concept#harry styles angst#harry styles ppd#harry styles pregnancy#finelinevogue blurbs#ask finelinevogue#ask harry styles#anon response#anon#i have a basic taste in men#harry styles depression#finelinevogue harry masterlist#harry styles little moments#little moments pregnancy#little moments masterlist#little moments finelinevogue#harry styles x reader depression#harry styles sad#harry styles fluff#harry styles dad angst#dad!harry
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Sanzu X gn!reader HEADCANONS
You guys really liked the Mikey one so I thought what would be even better then my personal 2nd favorite character! All of these might go into Bonton Arc Sanzu. Also tell me any other character you would love to see headcanons or even an oneshot for, I sometime needs a little inspiration.
âą Sanzuâs depression can be an issue especially on days where self care can be hard so you will have to brush his hair and teeth then praise him for at least trying. He will adore you and he thinks about those days a lot it makes his heart flutter.
âąThe âmedicineâ cabinet is strictly off limits to you most of the time. Haru has them ordered and his own type of labels, classy. The exception is if he comes home injured.
âąOkay guys now listen Sanzu isnât going to get clean for us letâs be honest BUT! Haru does keep it at work, when you and him started dating you kindly explained that you would prefer if he could tone it down. He understood and tries to keep it at work but thereâs some days he canât, be understanding.
âąBad days are something thatâs super tough but if he gets home annoyed, heâs picking you up and taking you the nearest thing to cuddle on usually the couch so you two can watch TV. He will lay on your chest and sigh repeatedly til you ask whatâs wrong and he will say nothing over and over til he canât handle it anymore.
âąI can imagine Haru isnât the fanciest when it comes to dying his hair pink so look under the sink in the bathroom thereâs about 7 bottles just so when the color even slightly changes heâs fixing it. So help the boy out, get dye all of your hands and have music playing. Sanzu will think youâre personality is amazing.
âąEvery Bonten member has your number just in case Haru needs something or had a rough day. Kazucho is often the person who text you any concerns, itâs super sweet. Ran sends you pictures of Haru looking blazed out of his mind. Rindou never uses your number unless he is the occasional sober driver.
âąIf you ever talk kids with Haru, he will be amazed, like you want him to take care of another human life thatâs not yours or his CRAZY! But when he thinks about it if you would be there to help him and he helps you itâs seemed amazing the domestic life.
âąNot huge into PDA but will hold you and always have an arm around you just so you canât leave him. He wonât loosen his grip either actually you tell him that heâs holding you to tight he will chuckle and hold you tighter.
âąRandom fancy dinner dates are more often then you think. Koko will mention this new restaurant he bought or one heâs investing in and Sanzu will talk to him about planning a reservation. Then you will get a text: âHey get ready in 4 hours I have a surprise đâ
âąHaru tries to get a lot of days off to just have a day with you. Nothing special just laying around breakfast together in bed while watching the shows you two havenât watched in a while. Then cuddles all day no getting ready just lay with him. Heâs never been so comfortable around one human and with someone who showed him the same amount of effort in the relationship.
âąyou are his world and he would burn it down if you asked. So know that even at clubs or parties thereâs not a shot that a person is touching on him like you do.
âąif youâve seen the tiktok where the partner finds a note page all about them on their loverâs phone. SANZU HAS ONE IT LIKE A WHOLE ESSAY. Every appointment you have is in his calendar and every dislike is written down. If you feel insecure he will look at the note page and get you your favorite gifts while only saying how amazing you are.
#sanzu haruchiyo#anime#tokyo rev headcanons#tokyo rev x y/n#tokyo rev fluff#tokyo rev x you#tokyo revengers#haruchiyo sanzu#bonten#sanzu headcanons#tokyo rev x reader#tr headcanons#headcannons#anime x reader#fluff#tr fluff#sanzu fluff
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The Baby Assignment [Lucifer]
I have a list of actual headcanons for demon baby behaviors, but this is not that post.
You and the boys have a baby! (sort of).Â
You shouldâve never told Diavolo about how high schools used to have practice baby classes.
Note: most of the genders and children come from âThe Bros as Dadsâ post.
Cut me some slack on the names. I didnât really have them planned, haha.
Lucifer:
Extremely skeptical. This whole assignment depends on you two standing in a summoning circle and--in a flash of light thereâs a KID in the middle of the floor.
Itâs a GIRL!Â
This triggers his demon form on reflex because heâs startled and canât help but have flashbacks of Lilith. Youâre cooing to the little girl and Lucifer feels breathless as he takes in her hair (itâs his) and those big eyes (theyâre yours)
His wings flap a few times before pressing close to his body. This has caught the babyâs attention and sheâs staring at him with more intelligence than a child should have.
The professor says the child will grow exponentially over the next week or so and she should be able to deliver a report on how competent you are as parents. Their developmental age will be assessed and factored in as part of the grade.
You walk carefully over to Lucifer, eyes shining and a tiny fist in your hand and oh Diavolo, he wants this child to be real right then and there!
The naming doesnât happen until youâre back at the House of Lamentation with a massive magical trunk that will spawn child necessities. You sit in his study as the baby looks around and points to things. You name them off.
Youâre in the middle of walking her over to look at his records and watching her slap things on the shelf, trying to feel them with her fingers, when he gets the idea to name her after one of the human composers he knows (âMarianna.â)
You honestly thought the addition of a literal child would throw Lucifer off but heâs prepared. Itâs only then you realize heâs been alive for thousands of years and helped raise the other six people in the house
Enjoy your view of Lucifer wearing a baby sling for the first three days because unless you have a real kid together, this is the only time youâll see it
The two of you work on a schedule and carve out time to teach the child on top of your other duties. Sometimes youâre hooked up to the sling, sometimes itâs him. He gets a kick out of seeing you tote the kid around and usually catches you tickling her feet.
Diavolo graciously lightens up on Luciferâs paperwork load (BY A LOT!) in exchange for seeing the child and playing with them
Most of her facial expressions take after Luciferâs and Diavolo is BEYOND amused
After day 3, Marianna gets distressed seeing Lucifer sit so long, so sheâll toddle you to Lucifer and just points until you do something about it
100% a daddyâs girl and Lucifer has a hard time keeping his pride in check. Itâs coming off of him in waves
She says her first words between day 4 and day 5 and Lucifer wants to cry (he does) because the first one is âdaddyâ
From day 5 on itâs a constant fight to keep her close because the bros want to smother her for being so cute and are bugging her to say their names
Marianna is partial to Satan and Lucifer is secretly glad. Satan acts all smug about it.
She has Luciferâs insistency for perfection. Mammon was messing with her tea party set up and she bit him for moving her plate in the wrong spot. That was day 6 and she had her pointy baby demon teeth. Marianna got a little whisper scolding that Mammon wouldâve died for BECAUSE SHE GETS KISSES WHILE SHEâS GETTING SCOLDED? FOR REAL?! HE GETS STRUNG UPSIDE DOWN!
Marianna hates being fussed over and likes to dress herself. Whatever you or Lucifer fix, she undoes when your back is turned.
One of her favorite hobbies is sitting on Luciferâs lap and practicing her handwriting. She also likes to brush his feathers. Marianna asks to sleep in them and will try to hide from you in them. The giggles give her away.
By day 7 she has the intelligence of (at least) a 6 year old and has velvety nubs for horns. You learned that demons like to rub their horns against hard surfaces (or loved ones) as scenting and for their growth.
She accidentally scratches you up, not quite understanding youâre human, and goes into an absolute meltdown. She didnât mean to hurt you.
Goes into a freaking rage when anyone tries to fix you up. Wants to do it herself. This kid is a literal puddle of apologies, please hold her.
She cuddles you for the rest of that day and officially gets her own little desk beside Lucifer on day 8. Marianna pretends to write her own letters but mostly draws. Bugs Lucifer with the random stuff Satan and Levi teaches her but he doesnât mind.
Youâd bring them snacks every now and then and sometimes youâd hear them singing together (ever so quietly). You didnât know Lucifer could sing.Â
Lucifer has woken up with a fist in his face, accidentally been punched in the eye, and has been kicked away at least once since she was big enough to sleep in the bed. She takes after Lucifer in the way that she needs you behind closed doors. Marianna doesnât sleep unless she can feel both of you next to her.Â
Lucifer officially has bragging rights about sleeping with you (even if he wonât pull that). Secretly gets the best sleep of his life. Really starting to feel the parent thing. A kid with you would be nice.
Marianna gets little fluffs for wings on day 9 and they âair boxâ when sheâs angry. She demands back scratches for how dry and itchy the feel and you figure out she purrs like Lucifer.
She doesnât always prank Lucifer but when she does, she hides his pens and makes him play hide and seek with her to get them back
Marianna likes to help out in the kitchen and loves setting the table. She gets mad if anyone messes with the napkin folds you guys practice. She makes a tiny Lucifer screech when Asmo gets obnoxious with taking pictures for Devilgram and Mammon nearly breaks his chair trying to run out of it. She laughs like you.
Around day 10 she insists on a family day and Lucifer has this sinking feeling in his gut that she knows she wonât be around much longer. Maybe itâs a side effect of the spell. The two of you spend the day running around the Devildom taking lots of pictures. Diavolo crashes a few of those pictures.
She spends day 11 burning the midnight oil with Lucifer. Around 9 PM heâs trying to send her to bed. Marianna just drags a blanket back into his study and snuggles down. He notices all her old pictures and some new ones sheâs drawn. âItâs my book,â she tells him.
âYour book?â
âYep.â she colors in the lines carefully, the finished pages pushed away and much better than her older ones. âItâs for you guys, for when I go away. And for your school.â
On day 12 you bring her back into the class, sheâs dressed in similar colors to Lucifer. She wanted to look good for her presentation and she said âdad always looks niceâ.
Marianna talks through her book, calling back memories of building blocks and playing hide and seek. Sheâs very proud of the pictures from two days ago. Theyâre her favorite. She shows off her horns and the âdad roarâ.
You and Lucifer walk her to the circle. She stands in it as the spell determines her final age. Sheâs about 10, pushing the limits for growth as determined by the spell.
âI wasnât here a long time, but I had fun.â she hands him the book and gives you a much longer hug than Lucifer. You wonder if itâs her way of apologizing for having a favorite even though she was good to both of you. âMaybe Iâll see you again sometime.â she looks up at Lucifer as she hugs him, her chin pressed into his stomach.
âPerhaps.â Lucifer takes on his demon form as the circle starts to glow, flapping one wing at her. She âair boxesâ back before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Itâs a quiet, lonely silence. Very cold. Thereâs a subtle warmth in Luciferâs embrace as he guides you back to your desk. It was brief, but you see why she likes his hugs.Â
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NSFW Alphabet | JJ Maybank
M A S T E R L I S T Outer Banks Masterlist
smut requests info
hope you enjoy, love you all.Â
AFTERCARE (what heâs like after sex)
so JJ is used to random hook ups and aftercare wasnât always something he did
he did if he was in the moodÂ
most of the time hook ups were a way to release pent up frustrationÂ
and when heâs mad he doesnât do aftercare
until he started dating you
now he goes a little over the top with aftercare
he massages you with lotion afterwards
gets you water and snacks if you want them
hot water bottle if youâre sore
sometimes draws you a bath
boy really loves you & wants to take care of youÂ
BODY PART (his favorite body part of his & yours)
JJ loves every single inch of your body
but deep down heâs an ass man
loves to see the round curve of your ass in those tight jeans you wear
and your bikini?Â
lets just say JJ has a lot of unwanted boners whenever youâre in a swimsuit
which is often during the summer
you can always count on JJ to pin you against the wall and grab a handful of that perfect ass of yours at least once a day
CUM (anything to do with cum, basically)
JJ thinks your cum tastes good
which is kind of embarrassing when he talks about it too much
sometimes he talks about your cum just to see you get all bashful about it with rosy cheeks
funnily enough JJ thinks his cum is kinda gross though
âew it got on me!âÂ
âthatâs your cum JJ!âÂ
he usually cleans it off your right away though
he doesnât want it to get tacky on your skin
which grosses him out more
DIRTY SECRET (a dirty secret of his)
JJ, for some reason, is embarrassed about the fact that he tends to be a little gentler in bed then people expect
itâs an inside joke among the pogues that JJ is a rough lover
which you discovered is not really true
he can be rough, but normally he isnât
heâs rough when he gets possessive
like when Rafe and his little group flirt with you to piss JJ offÂ
you can bet that night JJ will be pounding into you so hard you wonât be able to walk for a few days
JJ can also get rough if heâs angryÂ
if someone pisses JJ off for any reason you can count on getting thrown around a little
but he doesnât throw you around too much, he would never hurt you
itâs all consensual though, JJ would never do that if he knew you didnât want him to
EXPERIENCE (how experienced is he? does he know what heâs doing?)
JJ, much to your dismay, is very experienced while you were very inexperienced
by the time you two had sex the first time he had already been with 4 girls before you
JJ had to teach you everything about sex
he was very sexually ambiguous for a 17 year oldÂ
JJ has never been ashamed of his sexual past, but when he started dating you he did feel a little guilty when he saw how much it bothered you
it only bothered you so much because you were a virgin before JJ
youâve never been with anybody before JJ, and heâs had a lot of sexual partnersÂ
and you would be lying if you said it didnât bother you
because it does
a lotÂ
thatâs why JJ doesnât really bring it up
FAVORITE POSITION (this goes without saying tbh)
any position he gets to fuck you is his favorite position
JJ always says âthereâs way too many to pick just one!â Â
a personal favorite of yours is when you get to ride him
JJ is always takes the lead when it comes to sexÂ
so heâs always watching you come undone
and when you ride him you get to see him come undone
and boy is it a beautiful sight
head tossed back against the bed
eyes squeezed shut
little whimpers escaping his clenched teeth
his hands holding your hips tightly to still control the pace
even when you top, JJ needs to be in control somehow
you canât help but whine whenever you see his bottom lip pulled between his teeth
it truly is an honor to watch JJ cum
GOOFY (is he more serious in the moment? more humorous? etc)
he is both evenlyÂ
most of the time, JJ is goofyÂ
he hardly even takes day to day life seriously
so most of the time JJ is cracking jokes and trying to make you laugh
and he spends a decent amount of time trying to make you blush
but when JJ gets upset heâs an entirely different person in the bedroom
his jaw is always locked, and his gaze is dark and lustfulÂ
he doesnât crack any jokes, and doesnât goof around
if someone made a move on you then JJ is usually pretty pissed off during sex
sometimes heâs gotta remind you who you belong to
HAIR (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes?)
trimmed a little but honestly JJ isnât too concerned about it
you donât care if he upkeeps his pubes or not so neither does he
he does if the bush gets to crazy but other than that he leaves it alone
theyâre a shade darker then his hair
so like a dark dark blonde
INTIMACY (how is he during the moment? is he romantic?)
unless heâs angry, JJ is very intimate during sex
before JJ started dating you, he had sex just to get off
he had sex with girls because it felt good
there was no closeness in it, no intimacy
but with you sex is very intimate
itâs never about just getting off
every time he has sex with youÂ
even when heâs angry and pounding into youÂ
heâs showing you how much he loves you in the only way he knows best
while itâs true that JJ had a lot of sexual partners before you, none of them really showed JJ what sex could be like
that it could be so fucking goodÂ
because with them it felt good, but nowhere near as good as it feels to have sex with someone you love
JACK OFF (masturbation headcanon)
JJ jacks off a lot more then he used to
because when youâre not in the mood, or if youâre busy then he has to find some way to relieve himself
before you JJ would hit up every one of his booty calls until one of them agreed to come over
but he would never cheat on you so if you turn down sex, JJ waitsÂ
and while he waits he jerks off to satiate him until youâre ready
and he never rushes you because heâs not an asshole
he waits patiently because this sweet boy loves you very much
KINK (one or more of his kinks)
he hasnât outwardly admitted it but you think JJ has a secret daddy kink
he loves when you do exactly what he says
he loves being in total control
he loves the trust that comes with it, when you physically show him that you trust him enough to do whatever he says without question
itâs comforting to know you trust him not to hurt you
he calls you little girl during sex a lot
which you love
âgonna cum for me little girl?âÂ
âyes daddy please,âÂ
it accidentally slipped out. really you didnât mean to say it
but as soon as you did, JJ groaned softly
and his pace quickened a little
you could tell that he liked that
so you decided to âaccidentallyâ say it more often
LOCATION (favorite places to do the deed)
JJ is a borderline exhibitionistÂ
he likes the thrill of almost getting caught
but most of the places he chooses to rail you are places that couldnât be come across accidentallyÂ
JJ canât bring himself to risk someone else seeing you naked
or worseÂ
getting fucked
if some other guy saw that beautiful fucked out look on your face when JJâs driving his cock into you
heâd probably beat the guy to death
so JJ gets his âfucking in publicâ fix in restrooms or other places with lockable doors
heâd never fuck you out in the open
MOTIVATION (what turns him on?)
e v e r y t h i n g
JJ is horny 92% of the day so anything you do is bound to turn him on
bending over? JJ is popping a boner
your shirt lifts to reveal your midriff? JJ is 100% popping a boner
stripping down to your bikini to get in the water? heâs rock solid before you even get your shorts off
and then heâs looking around to make sure nobody else is watching you strip
there was one time he caught Pope looking when you were getting ready to get in the water and JJ might have punched him
he pulled the punch though, so it didnât even really leave a bruise
it hurt enough for Pope to never make that mistake again
he literally closes his eyes until he hears you get into the water now, Pope wonât even risk glancing in your directionÂ
heâs afraid of receiving JJâs wrath if heâs caught looking again
NO (something he wouldnât do, his turn offs)
anything that would cause you a lot of pain
heâs comfortable with inflicting you with a little bit of pain like spanking
but anything worse than that and JJ is out
once as a joke you asked JJ if you guys could try âblood playâ and JJ freaked out
âI would have to cut you Y/N, no fuckinâ way.âÂ
âI was just kidding baby.âÂ
JJ would prefer to make sex exciting in other ways
ways that canât hurt you
like blindfolding you
using ice or feathers as stimulation
g e n t l e chokingÂ
very gentle
JJ canât hurt you, he physically wonât feel any joy from it
his dad has hurt him so much that JJ doesnât like hurting anybody that doesnât really deserve it
like Rafe, he definitely deserves it
ORAL (preference on giving or receiving, skill, etc)
JJ hates being that stereotypical guy but he really loves when you give him a blow job
youâre just so fucking good at it
when you wrap your lips around him, it literally takes his breath away
when you use your tongue on the underside, JJ feels his insides begin to squirm around
plus he doesnât mind receiving more than giving too much because he knows how much you love sucking him off
sometimes you beg him to let you suck him off
and of course, JJ always says yes
youâre fucking hungry for his cock, and if you had it your way it would always be in your mouth
but just because JJ likes receiving more than giving doesnât mean he doesnât know how to go down on you
because JJ is phenomenal at eating you out
some of the most mind blowing orgasms youâve ever had have been with JJâs head in between your legs
boy knows what heâs doing in that regard, he just doesnât do it very often
which doesnât bother you because he will happily do it if you ask him to
PACE (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc)
depends on his mood, like all things
if heâs in a good mood, his pace is pretty moderate
not too fast but not too slow
if heâs in a really lovey dovey mood then his pace is slow and passionate
long and deep strokes to make sure you feel every inch
if heâs pissed off or jealous then his pace is quick and brutal
harsh snaps of his hips against yours and definite bruises on your hips from him holding you so hard
he always feels bad about the bruises
but you always reassure him and insist you love the bruises
which you do
QUICKIE (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc)
quickies are a pretty normal thing for you two
itâs quickies more often then anything else
a quick fuck in the Chateauâs bathroom before any of the pogues notice youâre gone
quickies in your room when you sneak away from the party because JJ took off his shirt and you decided you desperately needed his cock
itâs rare that you two get to take your timeÂ
but when you can take your time, its some of the best sex you guys have
like itâs so good that itâs worth waiting for
but youâre not complaining too much because any sex you have with JJ is going to be amazing
RISK (is he okay with experimenting? does he take risks?)
yeah heâs okay with moderate risk
if itâs something that could get you in serious trouble then he absolutely wonât do it
if it puts you in a situationÂ
if itâs something that could hurt you or cause you pain then no he wonât risk it
he cares about your needs and your safety way more than his own
JJ doesnât care if he gets in trouble and he doesnât care if he gets hurt
his pain tolerance is really high so he almost never notices if he gets hurt during sex
like if you claw at his back too much and heâs bleeding
actually he loves it when you claw at him, and he loves it even more if you make him bleed
you usually end up looking out for him in the same way he looks out for you
you wonât let him do anything that could end up hurting him
STAMINA (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)
JJ can go for 2-3 rounds before his dick physically will not get hard again
if he had it his way heâd fuck you all night, but he canâtÂ
which annoys him
boy can fuck you at Earth shattering speeds and hardly break a sweat
heâs got the energy of a hyperactive child when it comes to sex
sadistically thatâs one of your favorite things about JJ, that he can fuck you for long periods of time without tiring
it makes sex exciting
TOYS (does he own toys? how much does he use them? on you or him?)
JJ definitely doesnât own any toys but you do
and when he discovered this, he immediately brought it into your sex life
he loves watching you cum on a vibrator
he has a remote control one that he uses a lot so he can sit at the end of the bed and watch you cum without even touching you
he also got a small one that you sometimes use when other people are around
and JJ will randomly turn it on when youâre having dinner at KiaraâsÂ
and you canât make any sound or act weirdÂ
you always see that little smirk on JJâs face from across the table when he sees youâre close
and he never lets you cum
UNFAIR (how much he likes to tease)
big tease energy
there was one night he was so frustrated that he teased you to tearsÂ
he edged you so much that one thrust and you were cumming around his cock
heâs a tease in day to day life and in the bedroom go figures
but when JJ is trying to show you how much he loves you he never teases
he worships your body and will give you orgasm after orgasm until youâre a shuddering mess
VOLUME (how loud is he? what kinds of sounds he makes, etc)
JJ mostly just groans and swears under his breath
he says he doesnât want to drown out all of your beautiful sounds with his own moaning
but your favorite is when JJ growls softly in your ear, or when he sucks a harsh breath in through his teeth when you clench around him
youâre the noisy one in bedÂ
and thatâs the way JJ likes it
WILD CARD (random headcanon)
when you first started dating, JJ was actually really evasive about how many partners heâs had before you
he would get really quiet whenever you asked him and would never directly answer the question
until you cornered him in the Chateau, demanding to know how many people heâd been withÂ
â4...â his voice was soft, and he wouldnât lift his eyes to meet yours
that was more then you were expecting, but you couldnât be mad at him
he was single then and had completely cut off every girl heâd ever had sex with the second you two started dating
so you immediately forgave him which was a huge relief for him
X-RAY (letâs see whatâs going on under the belt)
JJ is packing
a good 8 inches when heâs fully hardÂ
and heâs decently thick too
his cock reaches places inside you that make your toes curlÂ
JJ has never really described himself as someone with a big dick, but once he saw your eyes widen when he first had sex with you
he thought maybe he might be bigger than average
which you love
thereâs always a delicious stretch when he first enters you
YEARNING (how high is his sex drive?)
JJ is down to have sex wheneverÂ
he loves having sex with you and has a stupidly high sex drive
he needs sex at least twice a week or heâs going to be grumpyÂ
so it was sort of an adjustment when he first started dating you
because it was at least a month until he took your virginity
so he was pretty grouchy for that month that he wasnât having sex
he didnât mind though because he was dating you and thatâs way better than sex
ZZZ (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?)
JJ doesnât fall asleep too quickly after sex
but since he does most of the work during sex, heâs usually pretty tired
but when he lays down with you, he will spend a few minutes talking to you before he falls asleep
he can last a good 10-15 minutes before heâs too tired to keep his eyes open
so you curl into his chest and fall asleep in his arms
heaven :)
#jj maybank smut#jj maybank#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank x reader#jj x you#jj smut#outer banks#outer banks smut
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I Canât Sleep Without You || Ivar x reader || Modern
This is my fic created for @ofmanderleyâs writing challenge. My prompt was: It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me.
First of all I need to apologize because I am SUPER late with my work but life was kinda crazy and writing block wasnât kind!Â
Hope you will like it!
Being with Ivar Ragnarsson wasn't an easy task to perform. He was a man of a short temper; he could be cruel and mean but thankfully for him you were out of the reach of his anger. Ivar always did his best to keep his raging nerves away from you. For him, you were his little treasure, a lovely woman who was patient enough to even try to form any kind of relationship with him.
You got used to this life and no matter what everyone said, you stayed by his side.
Of course you didn't do this because Ivar forced you or blackmailed you. The love towards this man was simply too strong within you.
After two years of being together you learned that behind that huge, thick wall he built around himself was a suffering, lonely man that craved to be loved.
____________________________
There was one thing you loved to do right after work - paying a visit in the local cafe. It was a quiet, little, cozy place. You sat at your favourite table and placed your usual order - a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.
Last thing you expected that day was to see a familiar face.
"Y/N, I didn't expect to see you here," BjĂžrn smiled, sitting in the chair right in front of you.
"Hi, BjĂžrn," you greeted him, returning the smile. "How are you doing?"
Eldest Ragnarsson nodded. "Oh, I am doing just fine. Since I have a break at work, I decided to get myself a coffee and something sweet."
____________________________
"So, when do you have this big game of yours?," Ubbe asked, looking into his phone.
"Seriously? I am going on and on about it for weeks now. It's this weekend, Saturday to be exact," Hvitserk rolled his eyes; he grew annoyed by repeating himself on and on.
"Forgive him. I guess the family takes a lot out of our dear brother," Ivar chuckled.
All three of them walked down the street.
It was the first time in months when they could just meet and go out. Even if they didn't plan anything crazy, it still was nice to get reunited.
"I at least have a family, Ivar. You and Y/N could think about it as well," Ubbe shrugged, placing the phone back in his pocket. "Mother is still talking about it."
"Mother will talk. We both feel comfortable with how things are for now. I am not pushing her and she is not pushing me, to anything. We just live the best of our lives and we both are happy about that," Ivar answered, nodding.
"I mean, that's sound fair," Hvitserk commented.
Boys quickly changed the subject to something far way interesting to talk about. They walked  lively as they talked about some stuff.
The nice atmosphere lasted until Hvitserk stopped in front of a little cafe. Through the cafe's big window he spotted a familiar person, actually two to be exact.
You were sitting there, talking with BjĂžrn and giggling like a schoolgirl.
"Yo, Ivar? Isn't it Y/N?â
Ubbe and Ivar looked over their shoulders, and then joined Hvitserk.
Ivar frowned as soon as he spotted you.
Of course you going out wasn't a problem for him, you were a free woman after all but meeting with BjĂžrn? Out of all the people?! Fucking BjĂžrn. What else?! Maybe you were doing it regularly behind his back?
"I am going back home. Whatever idea you two had, go without me, Iâm passing," crippled, young man muttered, tightening the grip on his crutch.
There was no reason to argue with Ivar at that point. They could see that he was pissed and arguing with angry Ivar was like teasing a bull with a red cape, it was the last thing they really needed that day or ever.
Ubbe and Hvitserk just shook their heads and then slowly walked away.
____________________________
You had no idea how long you sat there but you couldn't help it. Talking with BjĂžrn was really captivating. While listening to one of his stories you looked at your watch. "Oh, my! BjĂžrn, I am so sorry but I should go. I still have plans."
BjĂžrn looked at you and nodded slowly. âYeah, sure. It was really nice to see you."
"Same! We need to meet up one day. Bye!," You quickly paid and left the cafe.
____________________________
The walk home was calm, you even texted Ivar that you are on the way back but for some reason he didn't respond. Maybe this should be a red flag but you shrugged it off, he probably was still with his brothers.
You didn't expect to see him in the flat. He was sitting on the couch, tapping his fingers angrily. It was more than obvious that he was mad.
"Love? Did something happen?," You asked, taking your jacket off.
"I don't know. You tell me, love."
Walking into the living room you looked at him with confusion written on your face. At this point you had no idea what he meant.
"What? You gonna stand there and make a fool out of me? You thought I won't find you? I wonder how long you go behind my back!,â Ivar growled, getting up from the couch.
Then it suddenly hit you. Did he see you in the cafe? After all he was out with Hvitserk and Ubbe, so there was a slight chance he did.
"Ivar. It's not like that. I was in a cafe and BjĂžrn just happened to be there as well."
"He? Happened to be there?," Ivar chuckled darkly. "You are blind, stupid or both!"
His behaviour was getting out of hand  but his accusations were too much for you to handle.
"Excuse me? Watch your words, Ivar."
"Me?! Watch my words?! These are words of truth! He was following you those fucking eyes ever since I brought you home for the first time. Ever since that day he accidentally happened to be in places that you are!," Ivar growled, shaking his head. "Of course you had to fall for this. What's next?! Are you gonna fuck him? Or Maybe Hvitserk?â
You went silent. How could he even have thought about something like that? He was hard to live with but you would never cheat on him, no matter how moody or annoying he was. His words cut you deeply.
The lack of response meant as much as a yes for him.
"Fuck it. I am leaving, no idea when I will be back," Ivar muttered and walked to a hanger to grab his jacket before leaving.
The door slammed loudly that you literally jumped in the place.
____________________________
House without Ivar seemed empty.
Maybe it was stupind to miss him after this argument but you couldn't help it. You really loved that man, no matter how moody he was. Even if it was hard to love him, you knew that he was different deep inside.
Laying in bed alone was odd, without his body next to yours. He always was there, mostly complaining about his legs or just talking about his day and how annoying his brothers were.
Sighing, you took his pillow and hugged it tightly, you wanted him back but he needed time to cool down. Looking at the clock helped you realize how sleepless your night was. It was almost morning.
____________________________
Ivar also couldn't sleep. He just lied in bed, smoking and looking into the ceiling. Aslaug would prabobly murder him for smoking inside the house but he didn't care, it's not like she would kick her crippled son out of the house.
Puffing out the smoke he watched it disappearing in the air.
He already missed you, so fucking much. Ivar looked at the bedside table and grabbed his phone to check the time.
____________________________
Trying to get some sleep, you laid on the bed, with eyes closed and Ivar's pillow under your head.
Suddenly, your phone buzzed.
You sat up and grabbed it; maybe it was Hvitserk? Or Ubbe? Maybe Aslaug? Maybe something happened to Ivar? You simply had to know.
To your own surprise, it was text from Ivar himself.
Ivar â€ïžđ: It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me.
Chuckling, you felt the wave of relief washing over you. He was alive.
You: I can say the same. Where are you?
Ivar â€ïžđ: I am at my parent's house.
You: I am happy that you are safe.
Meantime Ivar blonked looking at the screen. You were happy he was safe? You were worried about him.
Ivar â€ïžđ: Were you worried?
You: Of course I was, dummy. I am always worried. Listen, I just want you to know that I don't care about BjĂžrn. All I care about is you, Ivar. Always and forever.
He looked at the text. You didn't have a reason to hurt him in any way, you always were patient with him. Even when he was a total asshole. No matter if the day was regular or filled with pain, you just were there for him.
Maybe the fear of losing you just clouded his judgement? BjĂžrn wasn't like him, he was a strong and healthy man when he was just a cripple. Who the hell would pick a cripple over a healthy man?!
He was jealous and scared but it was time to fix it.
____________________________
You waited at the message but nothing came. Maybe he just fell asleep or didn't care about your empty (for him at least) arguments. After giving him fifteen minutes, you send another text to make sure he is okay, and surprisingly you heard the sound of the SMS notification in the flat.
Ivar opened the door to your shared bedroom and rested his weight on the crutch, looking at you. Without any word he walked to the bed and sat down. He removed his braces, clothes, and soon you were wrapped in a tight hug.
"I am sorry," Ivar whispered.
You nuzzled to him. "It's fine."
"It's not, Y/N. I hurt you... All because of my insecurities. I was furious, he is BjĂžrn, big, strong, healthy. I am none of that, and you are beautiful, special. You deserve better,``he muttered, nuzzling to you.
While listening to him, you undone his bun and moved your hand through his hair. "Silly! I love you. I love you so much, no matter what. You are hard to deal with sometimes, thatâs true but I still love you."
"You are too good to me, you know that?â
Giggling, you gently pulled on his hair, earning a soft growl from him. "You should be grateful and not point it out," you kissed his forehead. "We should get some sleep."
Ivar nodded, hugging you tightly. "Yeah, you are right."
Soon, both of you fell asleep, embracing each other tightly.
____________________________
#ofmanderley300#ivar the boneless#ivar the boneless x reader#ivar ragnarsson#ivar ragnarsson x reader#ivar x reader#ivar the boneless x hvitserk#hvitserk#ubbe#bjorn ironside#ivar the boneless fluff#writing challenge#ivar the boneless oneshot#ivar the boneless one shot#ivar the boneless fic
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Donât Get Caught - Owen Joyner x Reader (16+)
Request: mischievous/playful/giggly sneaking around with Owen on set or evading Charlie in their apartment
Word Count: 3142 words
Summary: You are a makeup artist on set for Julie and The Phantoms and quickly began messing around with Owen, but the fear of potentially losing your job if anyone finds out has the two of you sneaking around and trying your best to not be caught aka 4 times you and Owen were almost caught messing around and one time you wereÂ
Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, implied oral sex, reference to m*sturbation
A/N: hi all! so this is my first attempt at a jatp related fic so hopefully i do okay, sorry for any mistakes, most of this was written and edited from 2am-6am because those are my motivation hours i also donât usually write reader insert so fingers crossed i dont mess this up lol. i have a ton of requests to work through so keep an eye out for things coming soon (hopefully) also, to the person who requested this, sorry it took so long (my dumb ass deleted 90% of it and had to start again) i really hope i did your idea justice :)
1. Makeup TrailerÂ
The first time you met Owen was on your first day on set. Kenny had dragged the cast in to meet you, and something about Owen drew you in and you just knew you had to get to know the beautiful blonde boy.Â
Luckily your chance came sooner than expected when you were working alone in the makeup trailer a few days later. The door opened and Owen came in, smiling brightly when he saw you.
âHey, youâre Y/N, right?â He asked. You nodded.
âI am.â You replied and he grinned.
âIâm Owen. Nice to meet you, again.â He said awkwardly.
You giggled at his awkwardness.Â
âNice to meet you again too. Sit down.â You gestured to the chair in front of you and he sat down. You got to work quickly, working in silence for a few minutes before Owen spoke up.
âSo how long have you been doing makeup for? You look young.â He asked.
âIâve been doing it professionally for 5 years now. I started working in my mumâs salon when I was 15, and when I graduated I did a course to get me this job.â You told him. He paused.
âSo youâre 20?â He questioned, and you nodded.
âI am.âÂ
âCool, Iâm 19.â He said, and you hummed in response, concentrating on making sure his face didnât looked cakey.
âSo are you from around here?â You shook your head.
âNah I moved here from Quebec.â You said.
âAlone? Or with your family or... boyfriend?â Owen asked, the last part sounding slightly bitter.
âYeah I came alone, my mum is too busy with her salon, and my siblings are still in school. And I donât have a boyfriend.â You told him and he grinned slightly.
âGood to know.â He muttered quietly. You raised an eyebrow, not quite hearing him properly.
âSorry?â You asked. He shook his head.
âNothing.âÂ
âOkay...â You trailed off, not believing him. âWell youâre all done.â
âAlready?â He frowned slightly.Â
âYep.â You smiled.
âOh. Thanks.â He stood up, pausing slightly.Â
âCan I get your number?â He asked, somewhat hesitantly. Realisation dawned on you.
âSo thatâs why you asked about a boyfriend.â You said, eyebrow raised. ïżŒ
âGuilty.â He grinned cheekilyïżŒ.
âGive me your phone.â You held out your hand and he placed his phone in it, and you quickly added a new contact, typing in your number and texting yourself from his phone.
âThere. Iâll text you pretty boy.â You said, handing him his phone back. He grinned.
âIâll see you around Y/N.â He said, turning to leave for the hair trailer. You watched him leave with a smile on your face.
A week of texting and flirting later and you found yourself alone with Owen in the makeup trailer again.
âSo what scenes are you filming today pretty boy?â You questioned as you began to apply his makeup.
âWhy do you always call me pretty boy?â He asked, ignoring your question.
âBecause youâre pretty? And a boy?â You said, pulling a face.
âAre you flirting with me?â He grinned, and you raised an eyebrow.
âMaybe.â You said. He bit his lip.
âSo if I tried to kiss you youâd say?â He asked, and your heart skipped a beat.
âEh why not?â You said it like it was nothing but inside you were freaking out.
âY/N.â He groaned and you giggled.
âJust kidding.â You teased.
âSo?â He asked again after a moment of silence. You rolled your eyes.
âOh my god just kiss me you dork.â Owen didnât even take a second to think about it, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap, connecting your lips in a less than innocent kiss. Your lips fitted together perfectly, and he tasted faintly of blueberry and spearmint. After what felt like a lifetime he pulled away from you, leaving you panting and wanting more.
âWow that was...â He was the first to speak, his voice breathy. You nodded.
âYep.â You said simply. âI should probably...â
You stood up from his lap, and had barely stepped away when the door opened.
âHey Y/N, one of my lashes came off and... oh...â Savannahâs voice came, the young actress pausing when she saw how close the two of you were.
âHey Savannah.â You said with a smile. She returned your smile before glancing back at Owen.
âSorry, did I interrupt something?â She asked. The two of you shook your heads.
âNo, not at all.â You said.
âI was just leaving.â Owen added, standing up from his chair. Savannah raised an eyebrow.
âIf you say so.â She replied as Owen left the trailer quickly. The door shut behind him and Savannah grinned at you.
âYou like him.â She said, her tone teasing.
âNo...â You denied. Savannah rolled her eyes.
âYou so do Y/N. And I know Owen, he definitely likes you too.â She told you.
âIf you say so.â You said, grabbing a new fake lash to fix the missing one.
Savannah grinned.Â
âOh I know so. Youâll see.â
2. Julieâs Bedroom Set
âCome on Y/N, whatâs the worst that could happen?â Owen had said as he dragged you through the filming lot towards the set of Julieâs bedroom. You had been heading off to grab some lunch when he had intercepted you and asked if you wanted to âhangâ, which by this point you knew was code for hide somewhere and make out for a while. You had originally said no, but those darn puppy eyes had made you say yes before you even realised you were saying it.Â
âWhat if someone catches us?â You had questioned, but Owen silenced your worries with a blistering kiss that left you breathless.Â
âWeâll be fine.â He muttered as he pulled away. âDonât stress.âÂ
âFamous last words.â You muttered, allowing him to pull you back in and kiss you again. You ran your fingers through his hair, knowing that he would have to have it fixed up before his next scene anyways.Â
It had been a few weeks since that first kiss in the makeup trailer, and since then you had learnt the taste and feeling of Owenâs lips on yours, a feeling that was now so familiar to you that it felt like second nature.Â
You mindlessly kissed him back, thanking your past self for deciding to use your favourite chapstick flavour, choc mint, on him earlier that morning when you did his makeup for the day.Â
You pulled away to take a breath and he grinned at you.Â
âIâm glad we met.â He said. You blushed slightly.
âMe too.â You agreed.
He pulled you back in and kissed you again, this kiss more passionate than the last, and you shuffled closer to him, your lips never leaving his for a second. You could feel his hands resting on your waist, his tongue in your mouth, the scent of his cologne filling your nostrils.
Suddenly you heard a noise and you pulled away quickly, the fear of being caught overpowering your feelings for Owen.
âSomeoneâs coming.â You said quickly. Owen frowned.
âWhat?â He questioned.
âThereâs someone coming.â You repeated and his expression changed to fear.
âFuck, what do we do? Run?â He asked and you nodded.
âYes.âÂ
He grabbed your hands and pulled you up off the bed, linking your fingers together before dragging you off the set, the both of you giggling the whole way back to his trailer.
âItâs kinda fun, almost but not quite getting caught.â You admitted once the two of you were curled up on the couch in his trailer.
âIt is.â He agreed. âBut do you know whatâs even more fun?â
âWhat?â You questioned.
âMaking out with you.â
And if Owen went back to set with the taste of your orgasm on his tongue that was for only the two of you to know.Â
3. Owen and Charlieâs Living RoomÂ
You had just finished some finishing touches on Savannahâs makeup when Owen burst into the makeup trailer.Â
âYouâre all done.â You told Savannah and she grinned.Â
âThanks Y/N.â She stood up from the chair. âSee you later. Bye Owen.âÂ
She glanced between the two of you, before turning and giving you a quick wink as she left, leaving you and Owen alone in the trailer.Â
âSo?â You spoke, beginning to pack up your brushes. âWhy are you here?âÂ
âWell you see, Iâm finished for the day and I checked your schedule and you are too, and I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my place to watch a movie and chill or something.â Owen spoke, plopping himself into one of the chairs and spinning around.Â
"What about Charlie?â You asked, placing your brush bag into the large drawer of your makeup supplies.Â
âHeâs filming the Perfect Harmony scene with Madi. Weâd have the place to ourselves for at least a few hours.â You paused, considering his offer.Â
âOkay.â You replied simply. He cheered.Â
âAre you ready to go now?â He asked, standing up, and you nodded. He grinned slightly, pulling you in and kissing you softly.Â
âHi, by the way.â He whispered once he pulled away. You rolled your eyes playfully.Â
âLetâs just go.âÂ
You somehow managed to make it off set and back to the building where most of the cast and crew were living without anyone noticing the two of you together.
âWhat floor?â You asked as you hopped into the elevator.
â6.â He replied, and you pressed the button, riding in silence to his floor. He took your hand, pulling you towards the apartment he shared with Charlie, unlocking the front door and dragging you towards the couch.
âSo you mentioned a movie?â You said once the two of you were settled. Owen nodded.Â
âI did, what do you wanna watch?â He asked.Â
âI actually have a better idea.â You grinned, climbing on top of him, straddling his waist.
âOh I see.â He replied, grabbing your top and pulling you down to kiss you roughly.
It felt like no time had passed at all when suddenly the front door unlocked.
âFuck.â You said, jumping off him quickly and settling onto the couch next to Owen, pretending as if youâd been there the whole time. Charlie entered the room, frowning slightly when he saw you sat on the couch.
âY/N? What are you doing here?â Charlie questioned, throwing his bag onto the chair.Â
âI.. Um...â You stumbled. âI was just leaving.âÂ
You stood up quickly, thankful that the shoes you wore were slip onâs.Â
Charlie eyed Owen carefully as the door shut and Owen shrugged.
âShould I ask?â Charlie questioned. Owen shook his head.
âNope.â
4. Owenâs BedroomÂ
After a couple of close calls on set and in the living room, the next time you came over you and Owen went straight to his room.
He laid down on his bed and you climbed on top of him, kissing him instantly.
âGod youâre perfect.â He muttered, lips and tongues combining in a mess of passion and lust. Owen pulled at your shirt, tugging it over your head, and you did the same for him. His lips trailed down your neck, sucking gently to leave a mark.
The front door opened and Owen groaned.
âShit, is that Charlie?â You asked. He nodded. âWhat do we do?â
âUh... get in the closet.â He suggested and you giggled, grabbing onto your shirt so Charlie wouldnât see it if he came in.
âOwen? You here?â Charlie called, and Owen dragged you into the closet, pulling the door shut behind you.
âShh.â Owen whispered. You tried to hide your smile.
âI didnât say anything.â You told him, and he rolled his eyes playfully. The door to Owenâs room opened and the two of you froze, bodies pressed together.
âGod I hope thatâs your phone pressed against my leg.â You whispered after a moment. Owen pulled a face in the darkness.Â
âUh... no.â He replied, and you giggled awkwardly.Â
âDonât laugh, this isnât funny.â He whined.
âIt is funny. Weâre trapped in your closet waiting for Charlie to leave and you still manage to be turned on?â You questioned with a giggle
âI canât help it when someone as attractive as you is pressed up against me. Plus you donât have a shirt on so...â He trailed off.
âOh yeah?â You pressed yourself against his body more forcefully. Owen groaned quietly.Â
âFuck, stop it.â He muttered. You smirked.Â
âNo.â You whispered, and Owen placed his hands on your waist.Â
âY/N...â His voice was low, and just the sound of it sent flutters through your stomach.Â
âOwen...â You replied just as quietly. âBefore you ask, Iâm not gonna fuck you in a closet.âÂ
âWhy not?â He whined. You rolled your eyes.Â
âYou shouldnât even have to ask that question.âÂ
The front door slammed shut and Owen let out a sigh of relief, pushing open the closet door. You stepped past him and made your way over to the bed, Pulling your shirt back on before sitting down to pull your shoes on.Â
âWait where are you going?â He questioned, pouting.Â
âBack to set, I have a job to do, remember?â You reminded him, tying your laces on your left shoe before reaching for the right.Â
âCanât you call in sick?â He tried. You raised an eyebrow.Â
âFrom my lunch break?â He shrugged.Â
âFood poisoning?âÂ
âOwen.â You gave him a look and he groaned, flopping onto the bed.Â
âFine. But what am I supposed to do about this?â He motioned towards his crotch. You stood up, grabbing your phone, and walked towards the door, pausing before you exited the room.Â
âYou have a hand. Use it.â And with that, you left.Â
+1. Owen and Charlieâs KitchenÂ
It was a day off from filming so you decided to have a lazy day. It was almost lunch time when you woke up, and you would have slept longer if it wasnât for your phone ringing obnoxiously from its spot on your nightstand.Â
You rolled over, grabbing the phone and answered without even checking the caller ID.Â
âHello?â You spoke, voice full of sleep.Â
âGood morning, Charlie has gone for a hike, wanna come over?â Owenâs voice came through the phone.Â
âSure, why not. Give me half an hour to have a shower and get changed.â You replied, already climbing out of bed. Owen cheered causing you to smile slightly.Â
âAwesome, Iâll see you in half an hour.â He said. âAnd donât eat anything.âÂ
âOkay.â You replied, and before you could even say goodbye he had hung up. You rolled your eyes, throwing your phone back onto the bed and grabbing a simple outfit of a crop t-shirt and shorts out of your wardrobe, before heading into the bathroom to get ready.Â
25 minutes later you were knocking on the door of Owen and Charlieâs apartment. The door opened, revealing a shirtless Owen, and you had to stop yourself from checking him out as he let you in.Â
âAny reason why I wasnât allowed to eat?â You questioned, following him down the hall into the kitchen.Â
âBecause, I thought we could make pancakes together.â He gestured to the pile of ingredients sitting on the counter.Â
âHow domestic. Didnât realise we had become a married couple.â You teased, and he blushed slightly.Â
âI just thought it would be fun.â He defended, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
âIt will be. And delicious.â You agreed.
He grinned, grabbing the ingredients.Â
âLetâs get started then.âÂ
Somehow you found yourself sitting on the counter, eating the batter while Owen cooked the pancakes.Â
âThere!â Owen exclaimed, flipping the last pancake onto the plate he had gotten out. âAll done.âÂ
He turned to face you, his smile turning into a look of concentration.Â
âYou have a little something...â He said, positioning himself between your legs. You paused, waiting for him to move. Slowly he lifted his hand, running his thumb along your bottom lip.
âMuch better.â He muttered. The two of you were still, a stand off to see who would make the first move. You leaned in slowly, connecting your lips in a soft kiss.
It was as if the first brush of your lips opened the floodgates. Owen grabbed onto your thighs, dragging you forward, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, the pancakes long forgotten.
You tangled your hands through his hair, moaning slightly when you felt his hands on your ass, and he took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.
You were so caught up in each other that you didnât even hear the front door open.
âHey Owen, I forgot my-â Charlieâs voice came, stopping abruptly as he took in the scene in front of him.
Owen stepped away from you quickly, but even if Charlie hadnât seen you kissing, it was obvious what the two of you had been up to.
No one blinked. Finally, Owen broke the silence.
âYou were meant to be hiking all day.â He said, somewhat defensively.
âI forgot my phone, so I came back for it. I figured youâd be on the couch where I left you. I didnât realise youâd be...â He stopped, focusing his attention on you. âHi Y/N.â
You waved awkwardly.
âSo...â Charlie looked between you and Owen. âAm I pretending I didnât see this, or...â He trailed off.Â
You and Owen shared a look before nodding.
âJust for now, at least.â You said, and Charlie nodded.
âGot it. Well, have fun. Donât do anything I wouldnât do. Oh, and if you have sex on the kitchen counter please clean it afterwards. I eat off that thing.â He winked at Owen and before either of you could respond he had left the room.
âSorry about him.â Owen sighed slightly.
âYou didnât know heâd leave his phone. Besides, now we can hang out here together and not have to worry about Charlie walking in on something he doesnât know about.â You replied, and Owen grinned, leaning in to kiss you again.
You had just started to find a rhythm in kissing again when a cleared throat broke you apart.
âDude!â Owen exclaimed, glaring at Charlie who was leaning against the wall, grinning cheekily.
âJust wanted to say goodbye. And warn you that Iâll be back at 3, so make sure any... activities-â He winked suggestively. âAre done by then.â
âGet out.â Owen glared at him. Charlie grinned, turning to leave quickly.
âBye Y/N!â He called back as he left.
âBye.â You called, giggling slightly.
Owen rolled his eyes as the front door shut behind Charlie. Focusing his attention back on you he smiled slightly.
âNow where were we?â He questioned, pulling you back in and connecting your lips again.
And if you did end up having sex on the kitchen counter, Charlie would never have to know.
#owen joyner#owen patrick joyner#owen joyner smut#not really smut#more implied smut#julie and the phantoms#charlie gillespie#owen joyner x reader#reader insert
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harry potter characterâs favorite way to waste time/guilty pleasures
includes: harry, ron, george, fred, cedric, draco, hermione, ginny, and luna
warnings: killing mentions, food mentions, death mentions, true crime mentions, sex mention (nothing happens though), all caps, one swear word, my really messy writing and let me know if there are any more!
a/n: bored and in dire need of a distraction. (and i do not want to do my assignments). kind of? modern!au. some of these can also pass as their guilty pleasures. some of you may not agree so if you donât, please be nice about it if you decide to tell me, thank you! i got this idea from this post. (4)
Harry
seems like he would be into sitcoms
brooklyn 99 vibes
idk i feel he would really enjoy these things
heâd just stay in on weekends when voldemort isnât trying to kill him
heâd be in his dorm and just chilling with a laptop and some pumpkin juice, chocolate frogs, maybe even ronâs brownies (youâll understand what i mean)
heâd literally just do that
maybe under the covers
or at 3 am
the boys wouldnât really mind but theyâre concerned âcause he has been watching it all day
but he was fine (i think)
really, heâd just binge watch his favorite sitcoms
like brooklyn 99, big bang theory, parks and rec and all that cool stuff
heâs just vibing
Ron
eat.
need i say more?
actually i do have some stuff to add
i like to think that heâs amazing at baking
he may be a little clumsy at times but he actually ends up doing a great job at cooking/baking.
he only ends up baking when he was actually really really bored out of his mind
which happens way more times than you think excluding the times wherein he accompanies his best friends where they almost die a billion times
when at the burrow and raining, stuck inside, you can probably find ron in the kitchen
george and fred would probably tease him but they all know that theyâll ask for some of what ron has baked
he has also probably cooked in the kitchens at hogwarts
like, he probably snuck out late at night
seamus found a box of brownies in their dorm room and they just smelled and looked too delicious
he ate them.
dean was there too and they just devoured the box of brownies
neville was a bit reluctant but it did look delicious so he tried a bite
felt like heaven
ron and harry came in.
ron was furious to say the least
they never expected that it would be ron who made those
especially since he thought that if ron baked something, he would eat all of them in one sitting
but even to ronâs surprise, he didnât and decided to save them in a box
he felt so proud of himself though when they said what he baked tasted amazing and he forgave them⊠after a week but itâs alright
Fred
the type of person to stare at himself in the mirror and just fix his hair
and do a fashion show alone in his room
i just know heâd love that
heâd be playing some upbeat music too
just catwalking in front of his mirror
trying on some clothes that he hasnât worn in a while
mix matching some clothes that literally donât match but fred weasley can always make it work
also stole some clothes from ginny and mollyâs closets
his favorite would probably be ginnyâs crop tops
just saying
âyou look hot.â
yeah, he said that to himself.
harry walked in on him when he visited the burrow once. he just took what he needed and left the room awkwardly. never spoke about it again.
George
he would watch documentaries fight me on this
either true crime or nature/wildlife
he would love buzzfeed unsolved and national geographic i just know it
he would gush about it to fred too
âdid you know that baby koalas are called joeys? theyâre all born blind and earless! but they climb up to their motherâs pouch and they grow and develop there. man, i wish i could stay in a pouch until iâm mature and know how to deal with my problems. or until all my problems go away. i prefer that.â
âyeah, yeah. now pass me my quill.â
in their dorm at 3 am:
âhey, you know the zodiac killer right?â
âno.â
âwell, you know how he makes these letters with like-â
âhey, sorry to interrupt but itâs 3 am, george. iâll listen to this tomorrow.â
âoh shit- itâs 3 am? sorry lee, goodnight.â
i feel badhsdjgk
Cedric
this isnât exactly a waste of time
but heâs probably a tutor at hogwarts
so he tutors in his free time
maybe not even a tutor session just helping a friend out
he would also probably mess around more than he would like to admit
like he jokes around with his friends and confuse them on their assignments a bit for fun
but itâs all light hearted fun
and he would actually show them afterwards how to do it or the answers
or not
he would never do that to younger ones though because thatâs just too mean in his opinion
but if heâs close to them? yeah
if heâs too close to them and for some reason he got assigned to tutor them, itâs not always that theyâll take it seriously
they might even end up watching a movie or playing quidditch
who knows
but he messes around when heâs tutoring his friends :)
Draco
self care.
literally he has a whole drawer of face masks and creams
they all have their own bathrooms in their dorms for this one
would probably take a long hot bath while drinking a cup of butterbeer and listening to ominous music
he would wash up, shave, put on a face mask and literally just sit back and relax
he puts some cream on his face and some stuff on his hair
he even tried nail polish once with the help of pansy
absolutely loved it
tried it again and again
he loves black nails
and sometimes green
itâs just great
he usually does this at weekends
but youâll never know
he might be super stressed out that crabbe and goyle already know the drill
or he just really wants to do them
Hermione
this would come as a bit of a shock
but
shh come closer
she watches romantic movies
and likes them more than she would ever admit
sheâd say itâs stupid at first
but she wouldnât even notice the fact that sheâs been staring at the screen for 30 minutes
sheâd probably be frustrated and shout a few times
she hid it well for a while
until ron and harry walked in one her screaming at her screen
âOH MY GOSH JUST KISS HER ALREADY!â
âoh- i didnât hear you guys walk in-â
they just found it funny and never really bothered her about it
they even joined her a few timesÂ
âjo, câmon donât be so oblivious.â
âOH MY GOSH!âÂ
âYES OMG!â
âYOU DIDNâT TELL ME THERE WOULD BE SEX SCENES!â
âI DIDNâT KNOW RON OKAY?â
âAUGUSTUS NO!â
they cried.
if you know what i mean.
Ginny
she would honestly really like reading
no one would really expect it because no one would ever think that ginny weasley
âquidditch starâ
âboyishâ
âoh, she would never read.â
wrong.
she loves reading and that is a fact
sheâd probably read a few good stuff i donât read much books so you can imagine yourself what books she would read sorry!
there are also others like twilight, fifty shades of grey no. harry potter what?
anywaysÂ
she would love to read a ton of stuffÂ
sheâd even sneak out at night to go to the library
we all know sheâd successfully sneak out
at one point, hermione talks about a book she read and ginny just so happened to love that book
she basically spilled all her thoughts about it
mione would be surprised but glad
i feel she would also be into writing
she has some poems in her journal in her drawer
she never really showed anyone
maybe she will in the future though
Luna
she has probably written a play at least once
okokokokokÂ
i just really love the idea of writer!luna or director!luna
or even actress!luna
no like seriously i love that
we all know sheâs very creative
she would be able to write something amazing
includes fairies, unicorns, goblins, mermaids
the magical creatures in the wizarding world would be included in this play
maybe a bit of action
adventure! absolutely.
wouldnât really write that much romance but she could
sheâd send it in to professor mcgonagall at one point in hopes of starting some sort of theatre club
minnie was amazed
she asked dumbledore if they could do it and they did
at first, only a few people joined but the club slowly increased
and they were able to make the play!
she spends her free time writing plays :)
ending a/n: okay, i got a bit too carried away. i even ended up talking about their future at one pointjkf. but like, i loved writing this and i did it only in one sitting so i am so sorry if it sucks. this was so messy but i still hope you guys enjoyed it!
tags: @quadrupledeckertaco @audreysmusings @georgeweasley19 @krasivayadarling @crookedhag
some people that i think would be interested: @lunalovecroft @cherryweasleys @oldschoolkiddo @sirlorelai @george-fabian-weasley @whizboingies @mullthingsoverinthehotwater (no pressure! you donât have to read if you donât like :))
#harry potter headcanons#harry potter fanfiction#ron weasley headcanons#ron weasley#george weasley headcanons#george weasley#fred weasley headcanons#fred weasley#cedric diggory headcanons#cedric diggory#draco malfoy headcanons#draco malfoy#hermione granger headcanons#hermione granger#ginny weasley headcanons#ginny weasley#luna lovegood headcanons#luna lovegood#whoo took a while to edit#pls don't crash when you post istg#sofia's writing
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An Ever Fixed Mark (Part 3)
 Part 1 Part 2 (here) Part 4 Part 5 Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,
Read it on Ao3 HERE
Itâs back! The boys get hitched, and Geralt gets nervous.Â
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Three days.
Three entire, fucking awful days until the wedding.
Geralt had paced in their quarters, he had paced in the halls, he had paced in the courtyard (after getting lost and pacing until a footman found him). He had taken Roach out for a ride and paced her.
It wasnât just cold feet, pre wedding jitters, or the usual sort.
He was afraid for Jaskier, afraid for himself, and afraid of letting down witchers. If Jaskier became unhappy in their marriage the contract was void. Jaskier didnât seem happy in Lettenhove but it was comfortable and he had plenty to eat and a warm place to sleep. Nice clothes. Like minded, well educated people. The list just kept getting longer.
Geralt had to keep him happy.
More than that, heâd have to keep him safe. The path was dangerous, no place for an Earlâs son whoâd only known luxury. He understood Jaskier had been at Oxenfurt, so he must know something of the world, but only of the academic world. Heâd studied literature and music, what good was that for a witcherâs companion?
He liked Jaskier. It would be hard not to. But would he like him on the Path, as a constant companion? Another person to look after, another mouth to feed? He liked Jaskier, but he also barely knew him. He knew he was young, thankfully unafraid of witchers, but could he fight? Would he do as he was told?Â
And Geralt would be around him all the time.Â
Geralt didnât like being around anyone All. The. Time.
He needed space even at Kaer Morhen, sometimes disappearing into his room all day, or if the weather allowed just taking Roach into the forest for a day.
Eskel was beating the stiffness from Geraltâs muscles again, the evening of the day before the wedding, and said quietly, in between vertebrae numbing digs,
âYou ever think all that worrying will be a self fulfilling prophesy?â
âHmmm...OW Eskel the fuck!â
âListen, first of all I didnât even do it that hard. Geralt, youâre my brother, and I know you better than anyone. You get all trapped in your head, and you worry, âcause you donât understand people. You think youâre different.â
âI am different.â
âDonât interrupt me,â Eskel said, popping Geraltâs back with well placed pressure. âYouâre different, okay. I donât know what all they did to you with that extra trial. I donât think Vesemir knows, really, no one does. But I remember you before, alright? You were like this before. It isnât a bad thing, some people just donât always get other people. Jaskier does though. Allow him to understand you, donât try and understand him all at once.â
Eskel finished the massage with a truly bone-wrenching press. âI think you could be really good for each other, just donât...donât go and mess it up just because you think you shouldnât have something good.â
âHmmm.â
Geralt woke up on his wedding day feeling hungover, except he hadnât been drunk last night.Â
Eskel didnât look well rested either, although he had a sort of stupid grin on his face. Mabel had been by a few times in the past days, and Eskel at least was having the time of his life.Â
Judging by the scratch marks sheâd left all down his back, sheâd been having the time of hers as well.Â
Geralt sunk into the bath, which had been tepid by the time the tub had been lugged up the stairs and servants had filled it with water. Igni took care of that, and Geralt sat and steamed behind a little standing wooden panel that the servants had also brought.Â
The little modesty panel room divider had been a source of some amusement for the witchers. Body shyness was bred out of witchers before it had time to form. Lambert did comment, however, that it would be nice not to have to watch Geralt sit and cook in the bath like a boiling potato.
Rosewater had been put in the bath, not much, and it wasnât a strong scent, but to witcher senses it was heady.Â
Geralt scrubbed his hair. Then Vesemir scoffed and told him he was too gentle. Vesemir practically beat his scalp into submission.
Geralt had a gold doublet and he felt like a ponce. Lambert insisted that he couldnât wear black to a wedding, and certainly not his own. Geralt wanted to protest, but he couldnât, not really. None of the wolves were wearing black, and if the occasion had pried black from Vesemir, then it really was time for colors.
Lambert was in a mahogany brown-red, and looked almost dashing, if a little rougish. Eskel was in dark green, he looked good, too. If Maybel was serving at the wedding there would almost certainly be some appreciative remarks. Vesemir was wearing brown. If he couldnât wear black, Geralt supposed a neutral color was the next best thing.Â
It was still inexplicably a party brown. There was some quilting on the sleeves of the doublet done in a coppery thread and, all in all, Vesemir looked as festive as Geralt had ever seen him.
Geralt didnât look festive, he looked like Midas had touched him, then, when apparently that wasnât enough, covered him in glitter and embroidery. The wedding was to take place outside, and Geralt wondered if he wouldnât blind people. Still, looking at the School of the Wolf, he thought he at least had a rather handsome entourage.Â
His face was scrubbed and, short of the miraculous disappearance of a couple scars, he was as handsome as he could get. Lambert had pulled his hair back with a couple braids. Also, in Geraltâs opinion, poncy, but heâd seen a few of the other nobles in a similar style so perhaps heâd best leave it to fashion and not put up a fuss.Â
They were lead by a footman, more a foot boy, with a face full of freckles and unfortunate ears, to a garden. It was probably a bower but Geralt didnât know about horticulture. Trees had been planted and then twisted by someone dreadfully patient into a sort of cathedral of arching limbs. Spring meant flowers, and they were everywhere. The trees were the flowering sort, almond trees with fragrant blossoms. Delicate petals had fallen to the ground in a sort of pale carpet. Every time a breeze blew a few more drifted to the ground like spring snowflakes. Smaller, brighter flowers abounded near the edges of the manmade clearing. Their perfume was giving Geralt a headache, but he couldnât blame the knee-knocking terror on them.Â
Little stone benches had been arranged in rows, but were empty as of yet. Vesemir sat in the position traditionally meant for the father of the groom. Eskel was best man, with Lambert beside him as the other groomsman.Â
And they waited in silence, blossoms falling around them as Geraltâs knees turned progressively into liquid.
He felt sick.
He might throw up.
The image of stuffing his head into one of the bushes of pink and yellow roses and puking lurked threateningly in his head.
Lambert smirked at him unsympathetically.Â
Ladies swept in, dusting petals from benches and hanging little baskets of flowers off the back of the benches. Geralt absently wondered what for, all the while fighting his roiling stomach.
Heâd been too nervous to eat this morning, and now he was worried it would growl during the service, but if he ate now heâd vomit for sure.
His flower question was answered when a broomstick-thin lass came up to him with a basket in hand and nervously proffered a little twist of flowers. He took it, baffled. One of the funny pink and yellow roses, something purple, a bit of greenery, and a couple almond blossoms. He glanced at Vesemir, questioningly, who pointedly stuck the flowers in a decorative slit in his doublet.Â
Next to him, another girl nudged the skinny, nervous one out of the way. He recognized Mabel. She gave him a cheerful grin.
âSwitched places with Leeann for the day,â she whispered to Eskel. One of her hands slid slowly up his chest, wrapped in green silk. âAnd Iâm so glad I did.â She stuck the boutonniere into the collar, his doublet lacking anywhere else, and sent him a wink that, in more conservative countries, got women jailed.
Past Eskel, the nervous girl was holding flowers out to Lambert. They shivered in her grip. Instead of the vicious grin Geralt expected, Lambert gave her a polite smile and an attempt at a courtly bow. She scuttled off and he tucked the flowers into a small pocket on his doublet, looking at his brothers and shrugging.
Geralt looked at the twist of flowers in his hand. They seemed very easily bruised and broken in his fingers. He didnât have anywhere to tuck them.Â
Eskel came to the rescue.
âThereâs a little slit here somewhere,â he said, poking at the embroidery on Geraltâs chest. He found it. âAh, here we go, just stick those in there.â Geralt did. âYou almost look presentable.â Eskel said, not totally unkindly.Â
Then he must have seen the raw terror in Geraltâs eyes.Â
âItâll be fine, brother,â Eskel said, clapping him on the shoulder. âYou look good.â
Eskel stepped back into place, sending a wink towards Mabel, lined up near the back with the other housemaids.Â
Guests slowly filtered in.Â
There were more jewels and crystals about the throats and in the hair of the ladies than Geralt had ever seen before. Geralt felt a little better about his golden doublet, because there wasnât an outfit on the benches that didnât glitter.Â
Then a couple minstrels struck up a sweet, simple tune, and two little children entered. A girl in an almond blossom crown was scattering pink petals on the already well-petaled floor. She was so sweetly serious about her duty, solemnly distributing the petals, that coos and chuckles filtered through the crowd. The little boy was holding a cushion with wedding bands.Â
Geralt cursed mentally and began to panic. Heâd left Jaskierâs motherâs ring in their rooms. It was too late to get it. He felt even more sick. Vesemir gave him a worried look and Geralt took a deep breath. They could always swap the ring out later.
A young woman in a pale blue dress entered, holding a small bouquet of the white almond blossoms. She was followed by another young woman, in the same dress and a very similar bouquet. Bridesmaids, Geralt supposed. One of them reached down and took the hand of the little flower girl. The ring bearer, slightly older, stood without a hand, but fidgeted. Geralt could sympathize.
The music changed.
A slow processional began and a hush fell on the crowd.
 The Earl stepped forward, Jaskier on his arm. The earl wore grey, like a dove, but Jaskier.
Jaskier.
Well.
Wow.
He wore pearly white, with a crown of almond blossoms and roses, and every inch of his doublet was covered in tiny, delicate seed pearls. In this beautiful bower, with delicate flowers all around, he looked like the spirit of this place. Like a dryad made of almond blossoms and sunlight.Â
He was beautiful. Truly breathtaking.
He wore no boutonniere, and his hands were free of bouquets. Geraltâs stomach chose this exact moment to remind him that he really, really wanted to throw up right now. His head pounded and his knees felt weak.
He vaguely registered the slow procession being brought up at the rear by a priest in white. Next to Jaskier, the white looked dull and lifeless as the priest took his place.
âWho gives this man,â the priest croaked.
âI do,â the earl said, linking Jaskierâs hand with Geraltâs and sitting in the mirror of Vesemirâs position.Â
Geralt looked at that hand, so delicate in his giant paw. He thought of the flowers tucked into his doublet, so easily crushed.Â
The priest was saying something about eternity, but Geraltâs blood was rushing in his ears. Jaskier was looking at him too, but Geraltâs gaze was locked on their hands.Â
Vows were said, and Geralt was lucky they were short.Â
âFrom this cup we shall drink,â Geralt repeated, taking a sip of wine from a goblet that appeared out of nowhere and handing it to Jaskier.Â
âAnd we shall share this wine as we share our lives,â Jaskier said, taking a sip.
âAll the days of our lives,â the priest said, taking the goblet.
âAll the days of our lives,â Geralt and Jaskier said in unison. Their eyes met for the first time, and Geraltâs stomach protested.Â
âHave you the ringsâ intoned the priest. The little ringbearer stepped up. Jaskier took a wedding band and thanked the boy with a smile. Eskel nudged Geralt and palmed a ring into his hand, Jaskierâs motherâs ring.Â
The ringbearer took this well in his stride and went back to his place.Â
Jaskier smiled up at Geralt, then carefully slipped the little golden band onto Geraltâs finger. Geralt gulped, Jaskierâs smile slipped a little, looking concerned, and Geralt wondered what heâd seen in his face.Â
His big fingers fumbled a little with the delicate ring, but he slid it into place on Jaskierâs finger. It fit as exactly as it had in the little study, which seemed very long ago now.
âYou may kiss the groom,â said the priest.Â
It felt like a badger was gnawing Geraltâs intestines. He slid his hands hesitantly around Jaskierâs waist. The young manâs arms wrapped around his neck. It would have been nice if Geralt wasnât so nauseous.Â
Geralt gave Jaskier a peck.Â
He pulled back and caught Jaskierâs disappointed look, but then they were being ushered back down the aisle and into the hall and there were congratulations. Bells were ringing, people were throwing rice, Geraltâs head was pounding like his brain was about to leak from his ears.Â
Out on the steps of the chateau they were handed plates, most of the wedding party were, and they smashed them on the ground, to the misery of Geraltâs poor head.Â
Jaskier seemed to be having a wonderful time, laughing as the porcelain smashed and shining even brighter in the bright sunlight on the steps. Geralt longed for the dimmer lighting of the glade. Jaskier kept looking over at Geralt, and the laughter in his eyes kept dimming.Â
It made Geraltâs ribs ache to see. He knew he must be scowling, but the thought that Jaskierâs day was being ruined by him was awful. He wasnât an ideal husband but surely he wasnât that bad. It definitely didnât bode well.
The tide of people bore them into the great hall, and they were sat at the front table with the earl and Amaria. Vesemir and Geraltâs brothers were at another table and Geralt felt very alone.Â
âIs everything alright?â Jaskier asked, leaning in close to whisper in Geraltâs ear.
âHeadache,â Geralt grunted.Â
âIâm sorry,â Jaskier said, rubbing his thumb over Geraltâs wrist. On his finger, the opal caught the light. The young manâs shoulders slumped a little. âIâm sorry too that youâve been roped into all this,â he released Geraltâs wrist. âI know this isnât your choice.â
It wasnât Geraltâs choice of course. But if he was getting married, Jaskier didnât seem like a bad husband. There was something in Jaskierâs eyes, though, a sort of wistful distance. It occurred to Geralt that Jaskier was in this arranged marriage too. This wasnât his choice. From what heâd said before, the viscount had probably grown up believing heâd be able to marry for love, or at least someone he liked and was of suitable social status.
Geralt wondered if the young man wasnât looking around at his own wedding, wishing love were the base of it after all. True love, a smile during the procession, giggles during the ceremony and little jokes and kisses during the reception, instead of a witcher with a headache.Â
Geralt realised that he didnât know if Jaskier liked men at all. Perhaps he was looking around wishing some pretty noble lady was wearing white instead of he.Â
Clanging started up as first one, then many people tapped spoons to glasses.Â
âThey want us to kiss,â Geralt said numbly.
âYes,â Jaskier said, turning towards Geralt and leaning in. At least he didnât seem to horribly mind kissing men. Geralt rested a hand, the one towards the audience, on Jaskierâs face, hiding the view of their lips. Then he leaned in and kissed the air less than a centimeter from Jaskierâs mouth.Â
It satisfied the crowd, but Jaskier looked unhappy as he pulled back. Had he minded the play acting? Did he just want Geralt to let them ring the glasses indefinitely? Had Geralt crossed a line, even pretending to kiss him? Jaskier stared at his lap.
Geralt stared at his own.
They both picked at dinner. Sounds swirled in Geraltâs ears.
âGeralt.â
He wouldnât have heard it but for his enhanced hearing. To anyone else it was just another murmur of conversation, the susurrus of the ballroom. Geralt looked up, to meet eyes with Eskel.Â
âGeralt,â Eskel said. âDonât mess it up, you deserve nice things.â
Geralt nodded, and Eskel broke their locked gazes.Â
Some of the headache had subsided by now, and it was too late to be nervous. He took a big swig of the wine.Â
Jaskier may not have wanted to marry him, may be dreaming of a different wedding day, but Geralt could still make it memorable. He took another swig of the wine and wished it were stronger.
Dancing hadnât been planned, but there was music and a clear space between tables. Geralt stood and took Jaskierâs hand, giving him an only slightly wan smile.
Jaskier looked baffled, but followed Geralt to the impromptu dancefloor. The minstrels picked up on what was going on, and a rather cheerful waltz was struck up.Â
Geralt wasnât much of a dancer, but heâd been taught the basics long ago, and Jaskier was an excellent partner. His skill made up for Geraltâs more clumsy footwork. Geralt slid his hands to Jaskierâs hips, keeping his grip firmly appropriate, then lifted Jaskier into a twirl heâd seen once before at a ball heâd been forced to attend.
In that case, the ladyâs skirt had swirled and swished most attractively. Here, Jaskierâs slightly wilted flower crown came off, but Jaskier was laughing, head back, the sound like sunshine. The crowed oohed appreciatively at the display and Geralt guided his new husband down to the ground again.
Jaskierâs fancy footwork saved them from stumbling into one another but Geralt wasnât paying attention. Heâd saved Jaskierâs wedding day, or at least he hoped, this portion of it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw motion, Lambert flinging the recovered flower crown to Geralt. He snatched it from the air and placed it firmly back on Jaskierâs head, to applause.Â
More couples joined the dancefloor, and soon it was pretty crowded. Jaskier led them back to the head table, giggling a little.Â
The earl wasnât dancing, and Amaria looked wistful, or perhaps just distant, it was so hard to tell with her.
âLook,â Jaskier whispered, pointing surreptitiously at a couple. It was Eskel. Geralt half expected him to be dancing with Mabel, but she was busily serving tables.
Besides, Geralt reflected. Theirs wasnât a romance, per say, more simple physical appreciation.
No, Eskel had the little flower girl standing on his boots, and was happily spinning them about the dancefloor. He took great, hopping steps that bounced her about, holding her hands gently to keep her grounded. Geralt listened carefully and, in the din of the hall, picked out her delighted, pealing laughter.Â
Lambert liked dancing, and Geralt carefully pointed him out to Jaskier, as he showed the shy, thin housemaid how to do one of the fancier spins.Â
Jaskier seemed to delight in the people watching, and they chuckled together at a couple, a very large, glamorously dressed woman with her small, slim beau. She whirled him about, sometimes holding him entirely off the ground.Â
âHe doesnât seem to mind,â Jaskier said.
Geralt looked at the manâs expression as he was crushed against a frankly enormous bosom. It looked blissful. âNo, he certainly doesnât.â
Vesemir approached their table.
âMy congratulations,â he said to Jaskier. He gave a handshake and then pulled the lad into a warm hug. âWelcome to the family,â he whispered.Â
âA fine party,â he then said, to the earl and Lady Amaria. âIf you do not care for dancing,â this was adressed to the earl. âWould the lady perhaps wish to join me for a dance?â
âBy all means,â said the earl, waving Vesemir away. Lady Amaria smiled absently and limply took Vesemirâs hand.Â
Geralt knew trading dances was usual, but he was curious to see his mentor dancing. As he watched the couple, he saw Vesemir conversing with her ladyship, whispering into her ear. Even Geraltâs advanced hearing couldnât catch the words.
After the dance Vesemir returned Amaria to her seat. Perhaps it was a fluke, but she looked more alert. Then the earl tapped his knife to his crystal goblet.Â
It had the same effect as a drop of ink falling into clear water.
Silence spread through the hall, twisting between couples and curling around tables until everything was still.
The earl stood.Â
Like his son he was a fairly tall man, and in the grey, with his steely eyes and sharp demenour he didnât just command attention, he demanded it. He got it, too, as men rich enough to have dungeons in their basements tend to.
âI wish to make a toast to my son,â he gave a smile like a stiletto. âAnd his new husband.
âBefore, witchers have been seen as wicked mutants, monsters,â a tiny pause, like the glint of a crossbow bolt. âButchers.âÂ
Unease was in the hall, and there was something in the earlâs voice, he was a truly charismatic speaker. And a dick.Â
âLong has it been known how they viciously kill, dismember, and pillage.â
âNo,â Jaskier whispered under his breath. The words had really set the cat among the pigeons. A few short sentences reminded the crowd of their distrust. The flower girl, still standing next to Eskel, was ushered away from him. Lamberts dance partner was edging away.
âOf course, not anymore,â the earl continued, snakelike. âAnd it behooves us to make a contract, that so long as they act appropriately, they are to be treated as other migrant workers.â
Damn, Geralt thought. Migrant workers werenât treated that well, and after this speech...well.Â
âIt brings me great joy to marry off my only son,â the earl gripped Jaskierâs collar and hauled him to a standing position. âAlthough many of you know, he is more of a daughter,â here the earl gave an unpleasant chuckle. âAnd a troublesome one at that, not much of a warrior, too headstrong for knighthood...but today he sacrifices for his people.â
The earlâs voice swelled, an impressive, ringing oration, like a good preacher ringing home the moral point. âHe sacrifices much, and it is sad, I am, that I may never see my son again, to submit him to the ravages of a witcher,â a vicious breath, ââs lifestyle.â
Lambert looked murderous, Eskel betrayed. Vesemirâs face was entirely impassive. Granite. Unreadable.
âBut we each make sacrifices for the greater good, and I place my faith in our people, as I have always done. My, admittedly troublesome, shameless son has become part of a new...family.â Family was said like it poisoned the tongue. âAnd my people become my children. I work for your benefit, my beloved subjects, and today, so does my son, Julian. Three cheers for the new couple!â
Three very hesitant cheers were given, then Geralt and Jaskier were very nearly pushed into a room.
âWhat the fuck?â
âEvil, stupid, bastard,â Jaskier cursed at the same time.Â
Jaskier looked furious, but there were tears in his eyes.
âJaskier,â Geralt said, crossing to the young man and guiding him to sit on the huge, lavish bed. Their marriage bed, Geralt supposed. âJaskier I donât understand, what was all that.â
âHe couldnât resist humiliating me, his last chance, I suppose,â Jaskier said, pulling off his boots. âBut itâs worse what he did to you lot.â
A tap at the door. Geralt opened it hesitantly, but it was the wolves, and there was fire in Vesemirâs eyes.
âI didnât know,â Jaskier said, looking up at Vesemir pleadingly. âI swear I didnât know what he would do.â
âI understand lad,â Vesemir said, but the fire in his eyes didnât bank. At least it wasnât directed at Jaskier, who looked positively wilted.
âI donât,â Geralt said. âHe said, some awful stuff, he referenced Blaviken, I get that, but what does it mean.âÂ
âThe common people donât know the specifics of out contract,â Jaskier said. âMost of them canât read, and theyâll never see the document in any case. He implied that youâre going to...well, that ravaging bit, he implied that there is a consumation requirement, and the rumors about witchers...â
âAh,â Geralt said. The rumors about witchers were never kind, what they said about their sexual interests he didnât know, nor cared to find out, but they wouldnât be kind.Â
âIâm rather well liked by our people,â Jaskier continued, tearfully. âFatherâs convinced most of them that Iâm simple, but I make a point to be kind and a kind reputation goes around. Theyâll hate and fear witchers even more.â He began to cry in earnest, not loudly, but hot, angry tears rolled steadily down flushed cheeks.
âWorse, now,â he said, looking up at the witchers. âHeâs some sort of martyr, sacrificing his son to keep the horrible witchers at bay.â
âThatâs not even what he said!â Lambert exploded. Heâd been fuming this whole time, but his temper was short and he was done.
âNo,â Eskel said. âBut thatâs what rumor will make of it. Heâs going to be seen as some sort of a self-sacrificing hero.â
âHeâll probably use it to raise taxes,â Jaskier said, damply. âAnd I doubt witcher treatment will get better either.â
âBut then, is the contract void?â Geralt asked.Â
âNot officially,â Vesemir grumbled. âImproved conditions hold de jure, but not de facto.â
Jaskier shivered. âIf the contract is voided everything will only get worse.â The witchers looked at him. âWhatever reason the contract becomes void, Father will say I was mistreated. Thatâd be enough to convince most of the country to go to war with witchers, all witchers.â
âIt wouldnât take much,â Vesemir mused.
âAnd Iâd be a ruined woman, except that Iâm a man.â
âWhat?â said the witchers.
âIâd have been married,â Jaskier explained, fiddling with the ring. âAnd no matter the situation, in Lettenhove the woman is almost always blamed for the failure of the marriage. There is no woman in our marriage, but I take on that role, If Iâm mistreated, I should have better pleased my husband.â
âThatâs idiotic,â Lambert said.
âIâd never be married off again either,â Jaskier continued. âNot only was I ruined, I was ruined by a witcher.â
A deep, heady pause.
âI could probably even be put to death, for failing the contract and shaming my father.â
âBut your people like you,â Geralt said.Â
âThey wonât if Iâm the reason we go to war with the witchers,â Jaskier said. Then, a little more brightly, âAt least whatever happens, I wont be an earl. My father may be a rat bastard and a small minded pig and a...â he paused searching for more insults.
âA cunt?â offered Lambert.Â
âYes, thank you, a cunt. But heâs right about one thing, Iâd be a very poor earl. No head for politics, I can understand it, I just canât do it.â He looked up at the witchers apologetically.Â
âAnd now because of me,â he said, âYouâve all been dropped right in it.â
âNo worries, lad,â Vesmir said, clapping him on the shoulder in a gesture that made Jaskierâs spine visibly buckle. âWeâve been dropped in it before. As it happens, I may have caused some political trouble for your father all by myself, and it might even be better if we leave a little earlier than planned.â
All the boys looked baffled, but Vesemir looked satisfied.
âCan we leave tomorrow?â Jaskier asked hopefully. âI donât have much stuff and I want to get out of here.â
The witchers agreed, and then Jaskier and Geralt were left alone with just one bed.
Geralt coughed awkwardly.
âI thought there wasnât a consummation requirement,â he said.
âThere isnât,â Jaskier said, taking off his flower crown, now quite battered. âThere isnât explicitly, I mean, but there is a hidden fidelity agreement.â
âHmmm,â Geralt said. He meant a panicky, âwhat!â, but couldnât say it.
âWe both need to be happy in our marriage, if word getâs back to father that either of us is sleeping with someone else, well...â
Shit. Geralt thought. Shit shit shit.
âWeâll cross that bridge when we come to it,â he said aloud.Â
There were no extra clothes in the chamber, meaning no sleep clothes, so they both undressed to undershirts and smallclothes, then Jaskier snuffed out the candle.
On either side of the large bed, there was plenty of room between them.Â
Geralt heard a sniffle.Â
âAre you okay?â he asked, feeling awkward.
âIâm fine,â Jaskier said. âItâs silly anyway.â
âCanât be silly if youâre crying over it.â
âItâs just, this isnât exactly...â Jaskier trailed off, but Geralt thought he had it.
âIsnât how you pictured your wedding day?â he asked.
âExactly,â Jaskier sniffled.
Geralt didnât know what to do, but he stretched an arm out, above the soft covers, and covered Jaskier with an arm. The young man turned over, so they were facing one another, and inched a little closer.
It wasnât an embrace, not nearly, but it had a whisper of the same emotion.
Geralt listened to his new husband silently cry himself to sleep on their wedding night, and wished there was some way he could help.
A part of him, long suppressed, was crying too, for the bright and cheerful young man in his arms.
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Wow 5000 words that I basically had to thumbscrew from my brain.Â
Taglist! Tags were being weird, let me know if I didnât add you, forgot to add you, added the wrong person, etc.
@llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @aziz-the-fangirl @mordoriscalling @bastardofmothman @negativenuggetz @morte-mistrata @ailorian @hayleynzlive @filledepluie @bygodstilliam @sociowithatardisachevyandawand @faery-god @honeysuckletook @theflurtifly @saibowtie @1stbonesfan @frywen-babbles @the-kewlest @innocentbi-stander  @aqueenrisesintheeast @toothhurtyam @marauders-fan-account @ineffable-lasagna @limevodka @rocknrollphanda @seralyra @permanently-exhausted-witcher @aj-itated @watchthewolvesfall @00qtee @the-blondey @birds-of-forgiveness @west-moor @abstractartwithoutpaint @darkonesdagger7437 @onwardsandfourwords @underwaterattribute @whenrainbowsend @goldbvtton @in-love-with-writing002 @flustratedcas @fontegagrilledcheese @little-piece-of-tamlin @somanyfandoms @werevampiwolf
#geraskier#the witcher#arranged marriage au#kinda sad ending to this chapter#vesemir#geralt#eskel#lambert#jaskier#+bonus clothing descriptions
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You and your words | Hendery
â€ïž Prince!Hendery x female!reader â€ïž Fluff, Smut, Smut, Angst, Royalty AU, best friends to lovers, fuck buddies for some time hehe â€ïž 3/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Donât Cry One is a big number
One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |
Summary: You and prince Hendery are good friends... who lust for each other and trying so hard not to fall in love. But your mother, an ambitious woman, wants to use prince Hendery to improve the status of your family. Â
Word count: 9,614k
Warnings: Unprotected sex, virginity loss, making out, best friends but they lust for each other, masturbation (male), mentions of masturbations (female), they think of each other when they masturbate ano ba, fingering, a lot of kissing, dirty talk, corruption, slight exhibitionism, mentions of oral sex, fuck buddies for some time, dirty talking... but through love letters.... haha, mentions of other idols, strict parents, mother issues, Hendery being a spoiled prince, slight cheating, a lot of bad decisions, you might get mad to Hendery or reader?
A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. inspired by the Netflix series Bridgerton and First Burn from Hamilton.Â
For my babyâs Love Letter event, @neosmutcollectiveâ HAPPY CUPID DAY!
February 14
My dearest best friend,
I am inviting you to my familyâs soirĂ©e and ask you to accompany me the whole night. In return, I will sing praises about you to my cousin Xiaojun.
Prince Hendery
Everyone knows that an invitation to the queenâs soirĂ©e is the holy grail and it is very hard to be invited especially if the queen or king does not know you personally. But you, the ever so beautiful Y/n, is friends with their son Prince Hendery. So itâs up to you to claw your way to the top and to honor your family. At least that's what your mother wants you to do.
You donât request anything from the prince, no. Everything that he does or gives to you is voluntarily and because he loves you dearly. As a friend.
It all began when he accidentally bumped you a little too hard because he was in a hurry to avoid a certain dance with someone he does not know. You were both in your teenage years at that time and it was a season where young people were rather picky. The young gents always look for the prettiest most flawless lady, and the young ladies always.... well, avoid anyone or everyone unless he's the prince.
You were quite young by that time and you didnât care about courting, suitors, love letters, or expensive flowers. Thatâs why you didnât know what the prince looked like nor his name, because you didnât care at all.
âMy apologies my lady, I didnât see youâ he offered his hand and pulled you from the ground. It was so kind of him to help you get up and straighten your dress. Not to mention he kissed the back of your gloved hand and apologized again.
âItâs fine. Is someone running after you?â you pursed your lips and hugged yourself to protect yourself from the cold. The palace gardens have itâs unique February breeze, you thought.
âHere,â he smoothly removed his coat and put it around you. âIâm Henderyâ he smiled when he finally realized that you donât know who you are with right now.
âY/n. The ball is kind of boring and quiet. N-no offense to the queen and her family but everyone seems so uptight and pushing us, the young people to entertain the adults- Iâm sure you understand what Iâm saying hereâ your tone was a little loud and the annoyance caused by your mother is slowly showing.
âVery much. In fact, I was running away from a dance that I donât want to be a part ofâ he giggles so handsomely to show his support for what youâre feeling right now. "Love is the last thing that I desire right now but my mother wants me to entertain a bunch of women and converse for some time with their mother or father"
âHow many girls did you entertain tonight?â you asked back, and also giving back his coat because youâre about to leave him.
âTwo. My mother and my sisterâ he answered proudly which made you smile and let out a small laugh. At least between the two of you, he has the freedom to say no.
When you finally got back to the boring party, your mother was quick to fix your hair and fluff your dress before she pushes you again on the dance floor and dance with the prince. She told you she went to great lengths so you could have some time to dance with the crowned prince even if itâs just for a few seconds.
âWork your magic young lady, enchant the prince, and try to make him interested in you. Be useful like your sisters, be engaged to the prince soon and all is wellâ your motherâs exact words.
Ah right. Of course, your motherâs priority is to use you as bait to the bigger fishes so you could earn their love and respect. So with a heavy heart and feet, you walked in the middle of the dance floor, feeling so ashamed and humiliated for you were so sure that the prince will not show up because he does not have any interest.
Tears are starting to ball at the corner of your eye but you felt a shiver on your spine when someone tapped you from behind.
Lo and behold, prince Hendery came and graced you with his attention.
âAre those tears?â He was quick to grab your hand and waist to save you from the humiliation but the place started gossiping in no time. You can hear people asking one another if youâre royalty, where did you come from and why is the prince only interested in having a dance with you.
âIâm sorry my prince,â you cleared your throat and hope that your face is pleasing, âwe meet again, I have no idea that youâve been gracing me with your time already. My apologiesâ
He let out a small laugh before he twirled you. âThatâs Hendery, not prince Hendery. The quick moment that I shared with you outside made me feel that Iâm freeâ he whispered beside your ear. So sincere, so true, but it sounded like heâs calling for help.
âThank you prince Hendery, my mother is pleasedâ
âI too. I mean, the queen is pleasedâ
âHow about you, your grace, are you pleased?â
âVery much pleased. Tell me, whatâs your name?â You stepped back and bowed down to him, as low as you can.
âLady Y/n L/n, your graceâ you smiled and slowly recovered from your bow.
And in that very moment, while a unique friendship is slowly blooming in the middle of the dance floor, everyone started hating you even before knowing your name or family name.
But for prince Hendery, itâs a name that he will never forget and love starting that night.
From there on you and prince Hendery became the best of friends, making the whole town jealous and making everyone crave your attention, begging for you to answer the golden question which is, âAre you two in love with each other?â Something neither you nor Hendery canât answer because you do love each other, but not deep enough.
Months and years have passed and still, you and prince Hendery please your mothers by being sweet whenever you have eyes watching. Balls, birthday parties, luncheons, soirĂ©es, all to which you and prince Hendery had a great time making everyone jealous. Like tonight, where prince Hendery should be right beside you because you are his guest but he is nowhere to be found. Until one of his guards came to you and told you, âPrince Hendery is asking for you in his bedroom, my ladyâ thankfully it was a whisper, or else it could have been a big scandal.
You have never stepped foot into prince Henderyâs room even though the two of you are incredibly close. No one can enter a royal bedroom except family, guards, maids, or his future fiancĂ©. Thatâs why you were nervous while you continue to question yourself, âwhat are you doing here?â until you found yourself in front of the princeâs bedroom and his guard opened the door for you. Â
âAre you going to marry me?â You asked after the guard shut the door, teasing your best friend and not coming any closer to him.
âWill you please come join me to bed? Iâm sadâ he pouted so cutely and lie on his side. âYou look lovely tonight. The flowers I sent you this morning match your dress perfectly, I picked it from the garden where we first metâ he added.
You giggle and told him to look at your head, there he saw a flower from the ones he sent you. âCreative,â he says and pats his bed one more, still asking for you to lie beside him. Of course, you gave up eventually, but you lie so far from him that he had to pull the sheets a little too harshly to get a hold of you which completely startled you and made you nervous. âMuch better,â he says, face closer to you than ever that his breath touches your skin.
âNo more games my prince, why did you summon me here?â youâve never been close to Hendery like this. If the queen hears about this, you and your family will be in trouble.
âNothing special, I just want to be free before I become the night's hot topicâ he admitted.
âThat's why I'm here. I promise to drag you away whenever someone is comingâ He smiles at your effort to cheer him up, âor would you prefer dancing the whole night so we don't get disturbed?â you offered him a hug while you two lie in bed comfortably. âEverything will be fine as long as Im hereâ you added. Â
âExactly, that's why I called you hereâ he smiles and closed his eyes, listening to the distant violin playing from downstairs. And to make him feel better, you threw away your shyness and rest your head on his chest. He automatically wraps his arms around you and giggled while his eyes were still closed. Secretly happy that youâre slightly on top of him while his embrace becomes tighter and tighter by the second until your face is much closer to his face again when he rolled on the side dragging your body with him.
Shyness creeps in your bones again as he looks at you deeply. Making your body incredibly warm by just looking at you and keeping your body close. You tell yourself, âlook away, itâs improper to look at your prince like thisâ but you canât and you donât want to.
âIf I ask you to kiss me, will you say no to me?â he bravely asked, eyes hoping for you to say yes. But when youâre taking too long to answer, you saw the disappointment in his eyes, and his embrace was becoming loose. âIâm sorry for being a fool-â
To his surprise, you didnât answer him through your words but through your actions. You kissed your prince friend on the lips which he returned without hesitation. He was happy and heâs proving it by the way he kisses you, smiling in between taking breaths, letting out a soft moan whenever heâs being too carried away. You didnât expect to love the way how his lips touch yours, you didnât expect him to be a good kisser but it was so good that when you closed your eyes you thought you were in a cloud and an angel is kissing you.
It was slow and not rushed. It is as if time stopped while your heads were turning and your tongues were fighting for dominance while no one noticed that your fingers are intertwined. When he pulled away and kissed your forehead to end the moment, he thanked you for not refusing and even asked you where did you learn to kiss like that. âIâm glad the first lips I ever kissed is owned by a woman who truly, cares for meâ he smiles and kissed the back of your hand one too many times before he got up from his bed, and offered his hand to help you.
That night, while you and prince Hendery were kissing privately, something sparked inside him that he had never felt before. You may not know but during the party, prince Hendery noticed that you can be someone he can be in love with.
February 19
My dearest Y/n,
Have you been well? When can I see you again? Did you receive the flowers that I sent you and your mother? Perhaps I could pay you a visit and we can have a picnic somewhere private.
I canât stop thinking about you. I canât stop thinking about the kiss we shared.
Prince Hendery
Days after that beautiful kiss, prince Hendery sent you beautiful flowers, one for each corner of your home that even your mother was impressed and had the wrong idea. Of course, she thought the prince is courting you and that sending you many expensive flowers is a sign that he is now ready to show his seriousness to you.
âMay I see that letter, dear?â she reached out her hand, waiting for you to hand prince Henderyâs recent letter.
âMother, Iâm sure the prince will not be pleased with your idea," you said in the nicest way but the tone of your voice had a hint of begging. Why must she put you in this position? Your own mother. She walked slowly towards you and snatched the letter from your hand and watch your mother betray you in front of your eyes.
After reading, she was very much amused and happy by what she just read. âthe kiss we shared, eh?â she said with a smirk. âWrite back-â
âI will notâ you talked back.
âWrite back or I willâ she said with a stern voice, âyou are to write back and flatter the prince. Tell him you want to happen again, tell him to invite you again to one of his familyâs eventsâ
âMother, I donât talk like thatâ
âWhatever, just do as I say For our familyâs name, for our familyâs sake. Be useful like your sistersâ she straightens up her posture and told you to go to your room and write the letter.
You thought that your mother understood the friendship that you have with Hendery but turns out she still wants to use you as bait and to get the attention of the royal family. It sickens you, to be honest. Because Hendery is a decent person, always nice to you and your family and also you love him dearly as a friend.
As you look at the blank paper and arrange your thoughts, trying so hard to talk like how your mother wants but you just canât. So instead, you told him the truth and what your heart says.
February 19
Dear Prince Hendery,
You care for me always, I am well thank you for asking.
Apologies for not being around these days, I was catching up with some readings. I did receive the lovely flowers, they were very beautiful my mother was pleased.
I miss you awfully. And the private picnic you offered sounds wonderful and can be arranged for tomorrow.
Lady Y/n
âNo mention of the kiss?â prince Hendery whined to his best friend Ten while he watches him clean his hands from their afternoon hunt.
âMaybe the story that you told me is just part of your imagination,â Ten laughed.
âItâs not. Itâs much real- how can I bring this up to her again? I want it to happen againâ
âOh, youâre a spoiled prince. When will you change? Tell me my, friend, do you love her, or youâre willing to use her for your desperateness?â it was a bold question to open the eyes of the prince.
âI do love her but, itâs very little and Iâm sure Iâm driven by my lustâ the prince admitted.
âThen court her. Feelings can grow and the next thing you know, you now have a queen. And your mother will be pleasedâ
Hendery shook his head to show his disappointment to his friend. He may be the prince but he believes that heâs not born in this world to merely please his mother but to follow what his heart really wants. Like to marry the one he loves.
On the next day, as promised, the prince planned a private picnic for just the two of you and it was perfect. Being with prince Hendery is like an escape from the reality of your home and for prince Hendery, being with you makes him feel normal. âThe sun feels good, doesnât it?â he put a strawberry in your mouth and watch you chew it while you lie comfortably on his lap.
Since when did you two start to exchange flirty glances? you asked yourself. But you shrugged it off and continue to mind your thoughts. You may not know but itâs obvious that your mind is not in this picnic and prince Hendery can see right through you, he knows something is bothering you so he asked you. âNothing my prince, Iâm just thinking and admiring the perfect weather,â you said with the slightest of interest.
âWhy are you so proper when youâre writing to me or when youâre with me? What's the matter? Speak your mind your prince demands it,â he ate another strawberry and you got up from your comfortable position.
âThatâs not fair,â you said because you canât tell him whatâs really on your mind.
âIt was meant to be a joke, whatâs wrong?â Â
He will never give up until you tell him something that will stop his curiosity, so you didnât have a choice but to lie. âHaving no suitors and my desire to escape from reality. That bothers meâ you said and tried diverting your attention by indulging at the feast in front of you.
âMaybe thereâs a reason for that. Look for a suitor that's very much like meâ he says boldly, looking at you deeply like heâs telling you the answer is right in front of you already. And to be honest, a suitor thatâs very much like the prince doesnât sound so bad. Heâs a gentleman, has good intentions, and also a good kisser.
âI will keep that in mind. Now read me poetry and tell me stories,â you went back to your comfort on his lap and listen to him talk while you two bask under the beautiful weather. He reads you tons of poetry that sounded real and full of emotions, tells you stories about his childhood and the things that he wants to do in life, even fed you with the palace gossips, and made you laugh. Again, the picnic is perfect and prince Hendery once again provided an escape from your ugly thoughts. Â
You watch the sun go down while you both finish the wine in your cups and eat the leftover cheese because there's nothing left anymore. Both a little tipsy from the wine already, laughing and giggling before midnight strikes then out of nowhere, the rain poured so hard that it got you both soaked in a matter of minutes.
Running hand in hand to look for a shade as the field becomes darker each second, good thing prince Hendery saw a thick tree that can provide shade in the meantime. With soaking clothes and wet skins you stand closely together behind the thick tree, waiting for the rain to stop. But the prince is thanking it silently for giving him this moment with you. A moment with you where he can admire you closely again, a moment with you privately where he can keep you close to him, and a moment with you where he can try and ask for a kiss again.
Youâre not stupid. You can feel the warmth of his body like heâs sharing some of it to you, you can feel his fingertips dancing on your exposed back all the way to your nape, letting you feel the wetness of your skin which you very much love but you canât admit it to yourself.
âYou said you wanted an escape well I too,â he leaned forward to give your jaw a soft kiss thatâs very much addicting, leaving you for wanting more. He pulled away to look at you for a few seconds, waiting for you to return the kiss and accept his offer. And without any hesitation, you kissed him on the lips and showed him what you want.
âAn escape and nothing more-â you said because giving the prince false hope is the last thing you want to happen.
âI understand, he says with a smile. Very much pleased to see you give in to him and his charms. He kissed you to show you how happy he is, reaching for your right leg and lift the skirt of your dress so he could feel the wetness of your skin further. You moaned and gasp sharply near his ear as you feel your leg locks automatically around his waist as he pushed you on the tree with a grunt and kiss you even more harshly.
Soon you feel his fingers creep in your inner thighs, closer than ever to your sex. âHendery-â you moaned when he finally swipes his finger on your sex, wetting his fingers in front of your eyes using his spit and putting it back to your sex and continue to make you feel good. He is holding you tightly as your grip on his shoulder tightens even more. Oh he knows what heâs doing. You smile at that thought while parting your lips, furrowing your brows, and moaning even more deliciously near the princeâs ear.
And while he continues what heâs doing to you, you felt something hard poking your other thigh while his lips were leaving marks on your chest, just right above your breast. Is that what you think it is? Well, if yes then his cock is big, and thinking about it makes you horny even more. âAre you happy?â he whispered, disturbing your lustful thoughts, nod your head yes, and returned your lips to his. Biting it and sucking his tongue, showing him that you are very much driven by lust too.
When he finally found the spot that instantly made your legs shake and your knees weak, he watched you let go right before his eyes and watch you bite your lips and make sinful sounds that heâs very much proud of. Satisfied with the pleasure that he provided, he removed his fingers from your hole and helped you fix your dress. You feel very tired and exhausted, that your legs are about to give up but Hendery will never let you fall. He kissed you more, asked for more and you gave him more until youâre both happy and satisfied with the long kisses that you shared. âLet me bring you home safelyâ he sweetly requested when he noticed that the rain was long gone and youâre in a middle of a dark field.
Walking hand in hand back to his carriage where his guards are waiting, you two remain unbothered with your wet clothes and stayed happy with the remaining time you have with each other on your way home. And when itâs finally time to part again, he thanked you for a wonderful day which made you incredibly shy as what happened earlier flashes in your mind.
As you settle in your bathroom, sitting on the tub filled with warm water, you can still hear Henderyâs sweet whispers and miss his touch terribly. Smiling through the idea of a gentleman such as Hendery touched you for the first time, and it was quite an experience. But still, you love him as a friend and that will never change because you will not let your mother win and use Henderyâs name to up the status of your family.
He offered you an escape, and thatâs what youâre accepting. No more, no less.
February 23
Dearest Y/n,
I am lying to myself if I donât admit that I miss your lips on mine. How I miss seeing your parted lips, touch the softness of your breast, and the wetness of your sex. Iâve been thinking about you every night since we parted ways after that eventful evening we shared.
But the purpose of this letter is to invite you to my uncleâs ball this evening and accompany me, be my guest and letâs enjoy the night.
Prince Hendery
Knowing that the prince misses you and your lips, is something that can surely make you smile while writing back to him and accept his invitation. Sealing the letter with the slightest of love but flowery words that will surely make him smile too.
This action can be accepted as playing with fire but no one reads your letters aside from the prince himself so you know that whatever you say to him will always be safe.
But right after you sent the letter, you regret writing those filthy words on paper and realized that you are sending it to your best friend.
February 23
Dear Hendery,
The invitation is accepted and I will be delighted to accompany you. But before I close this letter, I want you to know the truth about my impure thoughts.
I think of you at night whenever I touch myself. Imagine that your fingers are the ones inside me and not mine, I spread my legs so wide under the sheets, eyes closed while I try to remember how you please me.
When can we meet privately again? I hope it happens again soon.
Lady Y/n
As expected, while reading the letter that you wrote back privately, the princeâs cock got hard that he had to take care of it at once. So in his quiet room where the doors are locked, he sat on the edge of his bed and pull out his cock from his trousers. Stroking it slowly as he imagines you again, teasing himself so he wouldnât release so soon.
Holding the letter in his left hand and reading the second phrase over and over again, trying so hard to picture you in his thoughts with your nightgown lifted all the way up until your sex is exposed and you touching yourself. Closing his eyes so tight while he strokes his cock faster than before as he pictures you gripping the sheets so hard and very much near to your orgasm.
Until finally he shoots his cum and lets it drip on his sheets, moaning and grunting deliciously as he enjoys the warm feeling while catching his breath. Wondering how can he control his lustful feelings towards you and turn it to love. Â
When the most awaited time has arrived and Henderyâs carriage is waiting outside your house, you didnât quite expect to feel nervous as this never happened to you before. He was quiet and smiling handsomely when you sat in front of him, waiting for his carriage to move before he does as well.
âYou look beautiful as always,â he sat beside you and completely startled you with his actions. A kiss on your gloved hand, and a kiss on your lips.
During the ball, Hendery was busy gracing the place with his presence on behalf of his mother so the two of you did not have much time to talk and dance, although he promised to dance with you once for tonight and that is perfectly fine for you understand his duties.
So while youâre drinking a glass of white wine on the corner, you canât help but think and foresee the future that you can have with Hendery if you let your mother succeed.
A comfortable life, the wife of the future king, a loving husband, of course, he will give you children, but he will always be away to take care of the countryâs current affairs because he is the crowned prince. And you well know that you donât want a life like that. You want a life where a husband goes home to you every night and makes love to you until you're exhausted and tired.
âIâm sorryâ Hendery whispered from behind which startled you. âAre you ready to dance?â you gave him your hand and guide you towards the middle. Careful to put his hand on your waist, trying so hard not to pull you towards him and plant many kisses on your neck.
âI read your letterâ he started and completely clueless about your regret about it. You gave him a shy smile and looked away.
âSo?â he started again, hoping to hear a response from you this time.
âSo what my prince?â Â
âDo you still want my fingers inside you?â He teases, whispering beside your ear and smiling as if heâs not making you shy in the middle of the dance floor.
âI beg you-â
âOh, she begsâ He interrupted you and teased you further. But thatâs not all, you feel his hand roam on your lower back, bravely did it still despite being guarded with many judging and watchful eyes. Slowly your patience with your friend is wearing thin and so you stared at him long and hard and thankfully he understood what your eyes were saying and stopped teasing you.
âThank you for shutting up and remembering that youâre a prince,â you clear your throat and continue what you were saying earlier, âyour fingers do felt rather nice inside me and... I wish what happened the other night would happen again. But Hendery I beg you, do not tease me like this because someone might hear you. At least talk softly,â
The prince let out a small laugh, so small that only you can hear it while he continues to dance with you and fool everyone for pretending that youâre having an innocent conversation.
âAfter what happened I canât seem to forget how you purred beside my ear that nightâ he stared at you, holding your lower back to assist you more on the dance. âYour tight grips on my shoulders still ghosts my skin, how you say my name as if I am not a prince. But it came out from your mouth in a very sinful way because I am pleasuring youâ
âI made those sounds, those sounds that you oh so loved because you knew what youâre doing in between my legs... Henderyâ you said it as quietly as possible and smiled so innocently at your prince, feeling every turn and every step became closer than required. Bodies becoming warm in less than a minute that you even felt his skin became instantly hot.
âIf you loved how I sound that night, well, I love how you pushed me behind that tree your grace... because I felt your manhood poke my thigh. And my my,â you shook your head from left to right and giggle beside his ear, then decided to stop teasing him and making him hornier than ever when you heard him clear his throat and see the blush on his face.
âThe next time we are to be alone again, I want your lips to never leave mine, your body never be covered by layers and layers of silk, and always keep your body close to mine because next time, my fingers wonât be the only one going inside youâ
The promise of a very sinful and lustful next time instantly made you feel hot and you feel like your dress is about to pop and your corset will give up in no time. But even though it sounded like it was all about lust, the promise of seeing each other alone again because he loves your presence made your heart swell with happiness and smile from ear to ear as he sways you slowly under a fading string quartet music from the background.
âI never want the song to end, I beg you, not as your prince but as Hendery, keep close to me. Pleaseâ
You didnât want to ruin the moment and feel every note of that beautiful song come to an end. This time youâre no longer fooling anyone, you are simply showing that you adore each other in the middle of the dance floor with a sea of young people.
âTell me, what else do you love your grace?â You asked him just before you part from the dance and bow.
âYou. I love youâ
Usually, when someone confesses their love to someone, positive reactions are expected from both persons. And when Hendery said it out of nowhere he wanted to take it back in an instant because it is not sincere and it is not true. Yet.
âTake it back, you donât know what youâre saying. You donât love meâ it was so hard to breathe at the moment. But you say it over and over again, very close to being mad but you can't make a scene âPlease Hendery, take it back itâs not true and what youâre feeling is lust not loveâ you said sternly completely offending the prince with the truth.
âAlright, alright I take it back. Iâm sorry, Iâll get you a glass of water. Comeâ
And so, the lovely night has ended earlier than expected. Hendery brought you home safely without a promise of seeing each other soon again.
Everything changed and itâs all because of lust.
March 2
To my dearest prince Hendery,
Itâs been many days since the last time that we saw each other. Are you mad at me? Â
Word is spreading that youâre leaving the country for several weeks to attend an important meeting representing your mother. Is it true? Were you planning to tell me?
Please write back and meet me soon. I miss you.
Lady Y/n
After reading your letter and keeping it safe in his drawer, prince Hendery admitted to himself first that he misses you too, and that no heâs not mad at you. Heâs just humiliated and heâs not yet ready to show his face.
Itâs his mistake in the first place. He promised to offer you an escape, no more no less. âUnbelievable Hendery,â he murmurs to himself.
After a few days of self-pity and gathering his courage to face you again, he finally gave in to your request and meet you. He apologized while you two walk around town with his guards on the side, ate lunch at his favorite restaurant, and chat until your hearts are happy. Everything felt normal again, you can hear people starting to gossip about you and Hendery so you figured all is well between you and him.
âTomorrow is my last night here, please accompany me. My mother insisted to host a ball, I told her no need but she still made preparationsâ he scoffed and finished the tea heâs drinking.
You didnât want to ruin the mood and ruin the peace between you two but you have to tell him the truth, âXiaojun- uh, asked me to accompany him and I accepted his offer,â
âWell, you could have said no. Didnât you thought of me?â his voice was suddenly higher and stern. He wanted to shout at you but you donât deserve that, youâre very much important to him so he wonât do that.
âIâm sorry my princeâ you murmured and lowered your head.
âDonât lower yourself for me. I think so highly of you, pleaseâ he reached for your hand kissed your knuckles, âItâs alright. My cousin is good companyâ he says, comforting you further.
When you and Hendery parted ways and while the prince is on his way home, he finally admitted to himself that he is jealous. Jealous because he knew you and his cousin Xiaojun used to like each other, and now heâs clueless if you still like each other.
He canât eat properly and kept thinking if he should steal you from his cousin. He canât sleep despite being so tired physically and kept thinking about how heâs not spending his last night here with you.
And when his last night in town comes, during the ball, Hendery is forcing himself to smile and greet his guests. Trying so hard not to look at you and his cousin Xiaojun for he doesnât know if he can control himself from being jealous.
âUnaccompanied, huh?â Ten teases Hendery and looked around the place for you. Only to find out that you came with his cousin, âAh... I seeâ Ten smirks and continues drinking his wine.
âIâm jealous so go ruin someone else's night-â
âNo my friend, Iâm here to rescue you,â he whispers and called someone from afar. âPrince Hendery I want you to meet my cousin Lady Lisa,â the beautiful lady bowed to the prince to give respect, complimented the prince, and soon earned his attention and invited her to dance.
Of course, a royal attraction such as Hendery with a different woman in the dance floor can awaken the gossipers in an instant. But it's not the gossipers that irritate you the most. Itâs her giggles, Henderyâs hold on her waist, his beautiful smile when he talks to her-
âAre you alright dearest?â Xiaojun whispers, completely bringing you back to reality. You breathed in deeply and exhaled sharply before drinking your wine in one go.
âExcuse me for a moment, I need air and privacyâ you request from the gentleman in front of you. Nodding with a lot of questions in his mind, Xiaojun did not even dare to stop you.
And away you go to the palace gardens to breathe and let out your jealousy. Breathing deeply over and over again, wishing to be separated from the corset thatâs suffocating you. Until you finally calmed down and had the need to admire the stars in the sky and listen to the distant chatters from the ball.
âDid my cousin offended you? Violated you perhaps? Are you hurt?â
Hendery came out looking for you immediately when he did not see you by his cousinâs side. He knew that this is the only place you will go to breathe because this is where he first met you.
âNo no, Iâm fine. Your cousin is a gentleman like you, I just needed some fresh air. Go back to your guestsâ you shoo him away and suddenly you feel suffocated again.
âI care only about one guest. And sheâs standing in front of me right nowâ Hendery says boldly, walking towards you and pulled you close by the waist and kissed you. Motioning you deeper into the gardens to hide while you share a heated kiss thatâs saying, âwe belong to each otherâ.
Soon the heated kiss becomes rougher while the princeâs hands roam freely around your body, undoing your dress, trying to free you from this tight corset, and said, âMake love to me tonightâ
There was no sign of authority in what he said, youâre sure that itâs not a command from your prince, his voice was serious but full of love and passion. And thatâs why you agreed, nod your head and kiss him again, and felt his charming smile in between the kiss.
Not even a single soul from the guests knew that he sneaked you to his bedroom again, dismissed the guards before shutting the door close and locking it.
The room was dark and cold and only the moonlight and the lights from the outside illuminates his room. But when his lips touched your skin again, suddenly it became hot and you feel weak while Hendery is the opposite because you noticed heâs full of energy and burning passion.
âLie in bed,â he says sweetly but his actions say otherwise for he pushed you, hovers you, and continue removing your clothes. X by X he loosens your corset until youâre finally free and youâre all exposed in front of him. âBetter?â He asks and you nod shyly.
When he proceeds to remove his clothes next, it is as if your shyness faded when you saw Henderyâs body in the dark but everything seems clear to you even with minimal light. âCan I spread your legs?â he asks, caressing your knee while he lies beside you and waiting for your consent.
Slowly and gently, he parted your legs and hovers you again, hands exploring around your body without barriers of cloth, kneading your breast while kissing your neck as you listen to him breathe and moan. And when his hands continue to explore your inner thighs, a sharp gasp escaped from your mouth and you spread your legs wider. This time, itâs your turn to feel his naked body and explore it with your hands. Feeling every muscle tighten whenever he makes you moan accidentally.
Then he stopped. Came closer to you until youâre bodies to bodies and his forehead rests on your temple.
You know exactly whatâs going to happen next. You knew that it will hurt, and it did but you asked for more, begged rather. You see his handsome face contort when he finally pushed inside you, loving your tight walls, moaning like a mad man. He lifts both of your hand at the top of your head and witness him look at you with eyes full of lust that watches your breasts bounce up and down for every thrust he gives you.
For someone whoâs inexperienced like your prince, he surely knew what he was doing. Folding your legs and pushing them closer to your chest so he could thrust deeper. Even he surprises himself.
With quick thrusts, filthy words here and there, and deeper kisses you finally reached your euphoria and moaned his name again. Something he oh so loved hearing and that made him lose his mind and let go. Pulled out immediately and shoots his cum on the sheet, while grunting and moaning so loud that you didnât even know heâs capable of making such sounds.
When heâs finally calm and has enough energy to move, he gathered the ruined sheets, threw them on the floor, and covered you with the thicker ones. âWhat happened was special, donât you think?â He asks and joined you under the thick sheets and kept you close to his still exposed body.
âSpecial indeed,â you said and reached for his lips to plant a soft kiss.
Now you know that you do have feelings for him.
âI want you to take this, as a promise that I will soon be homeâ you watch him remove his silver necklace and transfer it around your neck, leaving sweet kisses on your shoulders before pulls away. He promised to come home soon so he can replace the necklace with something even more expensive when he gets back. âOh I wish to see you more like this wearing nothing but my necklaceâ
âThen donât go. Stay here, the world will not go into war if you chose to stayâ He smiles so sweetly at you, happy that youâre on the same page.
âJust for a couple of weeks, my loveâ he says and kissed your hand many times.
âSo we're in love, huh?â You tease him.
He scoffed and looked deeply into your eyes, âI think we started being in love on the night first met. We were too young to think about love but I know we loved each other for years nowâ
And just like that, after years and years of going against your mother, youâre finally defeated because what Hendery said is true.
On the next morning, you and your prince spend the whole morning making love quietly and making sure that your time left with each other is not wasted. Exploring each otherâs bodies further and diving headfirst to lust.
âPlease â you giggle quietly, covering your mouth as you moan with every flick of his tongue on your clit. You both came several times now and you feel so weak already in the middle of the morning. âYou need to prepare,â you reminded him before he starts again and asks for one last. Finally, you feel him spread kisses on your body all the way up until his head appears from the thick sheets.
When the time of parting has finally come, he put you on a carriage first before he leaves. âYouâre going to be a great kingâ and he wishes for you to be beside him always and forever. âSafe travels, my love. Write to me every dayâ you whisper to him and kiss him before you go inside the carriage.
âExpect love letters from now on. Iâll be home soon, think of me alwaysâ he says and kissed you goodbye.
The promise of receiving love letters from Hendery every day was kept. You read them in the morning when you wake up and at night before you sleep. Smiling like a fool and giggling alone as you remember his sweet words and miss him even more.
This has been yet your happiest time with Hendery. Although youâre not together physically, but through the continuous exchanges of love letters, your hearts felt closer than before. And you find it amazing because being oceans apart from each other should be hard and heartbreaking but no, your words and his words give comfort to your hearts.
March 10
To my love whoâs oceans apart from me,
My heart longs for you and I miss your presence.
The country is treating me well with their good hospitality and pays high respect to my mother the queen. It feels like Iâm on vacation rather than an important royal matter.
Itâs morning here and Iâm sitting by the beautiful garden with beautiful flowers as I write this letter and think of you. Now that itâs clear that we are deeply in love, I realized that I am in love with my best friend and the mere thought of it makes me blush and makes me smile naturally.
I think of you every second my love, imagining you reading a book in front of me or sleeping right beside me in my huge bed. I want to wake up and see your smile first thing in the morning or feel your warmth for as long as I want. But let us not worry for time will pass by so fast and we will be together again.
When I get back, we should have more picnics, share longer kisses, make love every night. Let us never let go of each other.
I love you.
Hendery
March 15
To my loving prince,
My heart aches for you too but your words give great comfort to my heart. This distance between us is nothing compared to our patience.
I am more than glad that the country is treating you well. Tell me everything you do there, I miss your stories. Youâre going to be a great king and I wish you wonât forget to take care of yourself there. Eat plenty and rest when needed. My heart wonât take it if you get sick or become tired.
As promised, I always think of you too. My head is so full of you that you visit me in my dreams more often than usual. And I too my prince, want to see your charming smile in the morning and even at night.
Stretch your patience more my love. When you get back, I will never leave your side. But for now, I am happily and patiently waiting for your return. Â
I love you.
From the woman you love whoâs oceans apart from you.
And for days and days of being apart, you and Hendery exchanged love letters and make each other smile through the paper. You tell him stories and gossips from home and he tells you stories and gossips from the country heâs staying.
âMy prince, I brought bad newsâ The voice of his royal guard disturbed his peace while reading one of your letters. âHow dare you ruin my peace, what now?â he says, still smiling from the letter heâs reading.
âYour stay here is extended, my princeâ the royal guard informed him and did not dare to look his prince in the eye for he knew it will make him angry. âYour presence is requested at a royal gathering that your mother canât attend toâ he added.
And right then and there, Hendery thought about you and wanted to tell you the news immediately. He wrote as fast as he could and told his guard to send the letter immediately for Hendery was scared and disappointed with himself to give you false hope.
April 30
My dearest prince whom I love,
I waited for your arrival but you did not come. For days I was worried and could not eat or sleep well and all I did was think of you. Pray that youâre safe and wait patiently for you.
But now that I have received your letter I can finally stop worrying and stop imagining unpleasant scenarios. How are you?
I miss you terribly.
Y/n
May 20
My love,
Thank you for understanding further.
My purpose and responsibility here are becoming more tiring each day that passes but the promise of seeing you once Iâm done here is the only thought that gives me energy.
Unpleasant scenarios? Imagine only me showering you with love, imagine us strolling across town and shock the gossipers and silence them once and for all when we finally announce our relationship.
Think only happy thoughts, my love, I will be with you soon.
I love you.
Hendery.
And that is the last letter you received from him for the month of May.
Hendery was told that someone is plotting to assassinate him and for his own safety, he has to leave the country secretly and go to a country where no one knew he is there. Even you.
For your own safety, Prince Hendery stopped writing you letters for the assassins can and might track you because of him. He will not forgive himself if you are to be tracked and hurt by an assassin because of a love letter.
Little did you know that he did not send his last letter on the 20th of May, and a very heartfelt love letter is on its way to you.
âA normal mail? For me? Not from the royal mail?â the mailman nods and hands you the letter.
âPut it on the basket together with the normal mails dear,â your mother said. Oh this house completely has no care about any other letter unless itâs sealed by the royals.
As weeks and months pass by quickly, you continue to wait for a letter from Hendery, and continue to wait for his arrival. But sadness had you by the neck that whenever you think about Hendery your heart will suddenly hurt and tears will automatically fall from your eyes.
Waiting is a long suffering and you understand that well before you decided to love Hendery. You knew what you signed up for⊠but you did not expect that it will hurt like hell while waiting for someone. Itâs like waiting for a ghost to come back, you feel hopeless.
But even though youâre hurting so much, you grew more desperate to hear anything from him that you asked for his cousin Xiaojunâs help. Still, your efforts are wasted. And youâre reminded why you didnât want to pursue your love with Hendery in the first place. âThe pain that Iâm feeling right now will double once he is crowned king, Iâm sure of it. Is it wrong for me to ask for the man that I love? Why am I being punished?â you cry your heart out in Xiaojunâs arms, keeping you safe while he listens to what pains you and try so hard to provide comfort.
But just as you thought that you couldn't be any sadder, you are wrong. Now that everyone is expecting you to marry soon to save your family and fix the financial problem, sadder days continue to happen in your life.
âStop your nonsense now young lady, you will marry prince Xiaojun and live with him in a new country. Stop humiliating your family and stop waiting for the crowned prince to come back. He may be all wedded and bedded by this time while you, youâre becoming even more miserableâ
And that is the reason why you agreed to marry prince Xiaojun.
YEARS LATER
One night at the queenâs ball, you found yourself alone and looking at the stars again on the exact place you and Hendery first met. Breathing in, breathing out, and closing your eyes as you clear your mind and think about Hendery.
âWhat are you thinking about?â
You hear someone ask you from behind, youâre not sure who he is because your eyes are still closed but it can only be Xiaojun because heâs the one who knew where to find you.
But perhaps no. Thereâs another man who always knew where to find you even without telling him.
âOpen your eyes my love, Iâm homeâ
You turned around in an instant, looked at his face, and suddenly tears started to fall from your eyes, you canât move and all you can do is cry. You have so many questions to him, so many sincere words left unsaid, but all you said right now is, âare you real? Or my mind is betraying me once again?â
âI am very much real,â Hendery says and gave you a tight hug, lifting you off the ground and kissing you as many as he pleases to make up for last time.
âI donât understand, why did you leave me like that?â
âDidnât you receive my letter?â he asks, wondering why are you so clueless when he is completely sure he told you everything. âMaybe it never reached you, Iâm sorry. But now Iâm back, come now letâs announce our love to my mother and ask for her blessing so we could marry soonâ he was very excited but you are not.
How can you be excited? Youâre already married.
Is it possible for a person to leave you and come back many years later then suddenly asked he wants to marry you as if you did not suffer greatly from waiting and being sad for months?
You remove your hand from his tight grasp and saw the ring. Now, everything is clear to him but he is very angry.
âPlease donât be mad-â you begged.
âHow could you- If only that letter reached to you, then you will know why Iâm very mad right now!â He shouted at you, face turning red, eyes with tears on the side. âWe were separated for years, give me a chance. Please come back to me. You told me you love meâ
âAnd you told me you will come home! But they were only words, Hendery. And I do love you, still love you but I have a duty for my family and you have a duty for your countryâ He refuses to listen but you knew he needed to know the truth from you, âPlease understand that you were gone for years, and I was arranged to be married to Xiaojun. I said no to Xiaojun for as long as I could, hurting him over and over again because I was waiting for you like a fool. Love someone with a strong heart, whose love is unconditional. Not like me. I can't turn my back on Xiaojun just because you're backâ
"But you turned your back on me, just because I was away"
"I waited!" you shouted frustratingly back at him.
âAre you happy with him? Do you love him?â
Slowly you walked towards him to dry his tears with your hand and heâs quick to catch it kiss it before he finally lets you go.
âI am happy and no, I donât love him but he loves meâ
He nods his head slowly. Heartbroken and afraid to let go but what can he do now?
âBefore I let you go, I want to let you know that... I asked you to marry me too. The man you love still asked you to marry himâ he hugged you once again so you wonât see him cry because he doesnât want you to remember him like this. âWhy must our love should end tragically? I am not close to being happy but itâs good to know that you areâ
He dries his tears and tried to stop crying for a moment so he can say his goodbye properly. âGo back to my cousin he must be waiting for you now. I will stay here, I will be fine. Go, itâs getting coldâ
When you gave him what he asked you to do, he turned around and did not watch you leave for he doesnât want to see you walking away from him.
Love is sacrifice and he understands that all too well now.
May 27
Dear Y/n,
This letter will reach to weeks or maybe months after I send it through a normal mail. I am being hunted down in this country that Iâm staying and I have to hide and leave secretly with my guards for my own protection.
The assassins can track me through the royal mail and can use you as bait to find me. I will never forgive myself if that is to happen. I know you understand my situation right now because thatâs how much you love me, letâs extend our patience together and meet when itâs safe. I am sorry my love but this is the only way.
But enough about the bad news. Last night I had the most beautiful dream because youâre in it and we are living peacefully in a country away from my responsibilities. The dream was short but it made me imagine a life with you and gave me the courage to ask your hand in marriage.
Will you marry me, when I get home?
I promise to be a good and loving husband while being a king and fulfilling my duties. I promise to never be away when you need me for I know that family is very important to you.
In the morning when you wake up and until you close your eyes to rest at night, I am going to be your husband and not your king.
I love you. Wait for me to get home safe and you will be loved by the man you love.
Hendery
#nct-writers#neowritingsnet#kpopscape#cznnet#neosmutcollective#kwritersworldnet#kdiner#nct smut#wayv smut#hendery#hendery smut#hendery x reader#nct x reader#wayv x reader#hendery fluff#hendery angst#wayv angst#wayv fluff
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Campfire Tales
Part 3 of my series! Thank you for 100+ followers!!!
As usual, do ask me any questions you may have regarding this series!Â
This is dedicated to both @petrichormeraki and @applepie1000
Enjoy!
Part 2
Part 3 [CURRENT]
Part 4
ââââââââ
âYouâre gonna burn the âmallowsâ
âAm notâ
âAre tooâ
âAm notâ
âAre tooâ
âCalm down, you twoâ
Everyone was sitting around the campfire as Tommy brought out the sticks and marshmallows. He had already taken out the rest of the supplies to make snacks and drinks using the fire, doing his best to make sure that everyone was comfortable before he explained his time before joining the hermits.
âYou doing alright?â
Tommy stiffened at the sound of being addressed so suddenly. Turning to his side, he saw his older brother smiling up at him. Tommy had been feeling very anxious since the group began their hike up to the campfire, so the sight was comforting for him. He returned the smile to his brother, who extended a hand out to him.
âLet me help you with those, Toms. Just sit down and relax for a bit. Youâre probably very nervous.â
Now, Tommy would usually bite back with an overconfident comment, but Tommy didnât feel like his usual self. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and handed Grian the remaining supplies. Grian, in turn, grabbed the supplies before sitting his little brother down on a seat. Ruffling his hair with affection, Grian handed Tommy some marshmallows before setting off to finish handing everything out.Â
âYou get near that majestic cat, Iskall, and I will stab youâ
âOkay, okay, Iâm backing off.â
Peering up, Tommy saw Cleo scoop up a cat, before walking off to sit on a different log seat. Iskall, in turn, nervously laughed as if he just escaped death. âWouldnât be an understatement.â Tommy thought with slight amusement. Iskall then turned to Tommy, smiling at the younger boy. Tommy, returned the smile, waving at the man. Iskall saw that as an invitation and proceeded to sit down next to Tommy on the log.
âNervous?â
âIs it really that obvious?â
âWell, yeah. You started to tone down on the cussing when we arrived at Pirateâs Pier. You stopped cussing in general when we took Captain Puffyâs ship to the campsite, and you havenât cussed since. Youâre also fidgeting around a lot.â
âShitâ
Iskall let out a laugh as Tommy shoved his face into his hands. Patting the young adultâs back with care, he did his best to comfort Tommy.
âHey, itâs alright. Weâll understand if you decide to stop telling us. But donât push yourself to either share past your comfort or to coop up all your feelings. Itâs not healthy for you, and weâll all attack you with care and affection until you feel better.â
Tommy barked out a laugh as he playfully pushed away Iskallâs face.
âThatâs all you lot have been doing since I arrived. Been acting like Iâm your baby brother, or some shit.â
âWell, thatâs the case. At least, for one of us.â
At that, the two peered over to Grian, who was putting up the left over supplies with haste, obviously eager to begin unraveling his brotherâs pain.
âHe seems more hyper than usualâ
âIâm pretty sure itâs on the account that he found out that his favorite raccoon is, in fact, his younger brother.â
âI hope he isnât disappointed-â
Tommy was interrupted when a hand covered his mouth. Feigning irritation, Tommy peered over at the owner of the hand, Iskall. Quirking an eyebrow at him, Tommy gave a pointed look. Iskall huffed before removing his hand from Tommyâs mouth.
âWhat the hell was that for, Isk-â
âDonât say that.â
âDonât say what? Your name?â
âNo, Tommy, not that. Donât say anything about Grian being disappointed in you being his brother. The two of you have been acting like brothers since the day you two met. You guys are two peas in a pod, burrowing in bases together and pranking any fool who let their guard down. He is more than happy to have you as his brother.â
âHow can you be so sure when you say that?â
âBecause, Tommy, I saw how he reacted. The two of you obviously couldnât see that well, with the two of you weeping up an ocean-â
â-Did not-â
â-Did too. Anyways, I saw his reaction to putting the pieces together. It was a whole new Grian, one we never got to see before. His facade fell the moment he saw who you were. Something changed in his eyes, and he held you with more pride and love than he ever did before. Heâs more than happy to have you as family.â
Tommy furrowed his eyebrows before looking Iskall in the face. He wanted to doubt his words, he really did. He wanted to believe that he didnât deserve so much of Grianâs love, that he didnât deserve a special place in his heart. One look at Iskallâs face, however, was more than enough confirmation that he wasnât being lied to. As much as Tommy wanted to avoid his brotherâs love, he knew he couldnât. All Tommy could do was to just pray to Clara that this brotherly bond would not be torn apart and bombed, just like his last two. He just wanted a family member he could rely on, not one that would break him with betrayal and miscommunication.
âWhat are you two talking about?â
Tommy peered up to see Grian standing there, munching on a melted marshmallow. Rolling his eyes, Tommy snorted at him as Iskall laughed.
âTalking about how much of a big man Toms is.â
âHey! Watch the sarcasm! I am a big man!â
Grian snorted before sitting down on the other of Tommy, getting comfortable on the log. The two brothers shared a smile before Tommy faced the rest of the group.
âEveryone ready?â
A chorus of confirmation was given, a single nod to return them. Sighing, Tommy situated himself and cleared his throat.
âIâm severely grateful for all of you, truly. Youâve all looked past the fact that I was a bastard and decided to keep me around. You guys helped me come to terms with things that I once thought was impossible to come to terms with. Youâve all even helped me heal from those stupid, shitty triggers. I really donât know where Iâd be if I hadnât ended up here, especially looking back to where I was at my previous server.â
He saw everyoneâs face gain some form of affection at his words. The pat on his back and the hand on his was all he needed to know that he woild go through with this. Theyâve housed him and healed him for over 2 years, they deserved to know what they saved him from.
âAlright, it all started when I got an invite to Dreamâs server, the Dream SMP.â
ââââ
Grian didnât know how to react, how to feel. How could he? Itâs not everyday that you find out that the amazing big brothers you idolized werenât so amazing after all. How could the people that vowed to look after their baby brothers turn around and break the youngest one? Tommy claimed that everything was a misunderstanding, and that he deserved his punishments, but no one deserved punishments that severe.
â-I tried telling them how that made me feel, but Technoblade and Wilbur said that it had to stay in the pit. Tubbo tried to tell me that it wasnât a big deal, but he was terrified of fireworks for so long after that. Not just fireworks, loud noises in general.â
Grian could tell how uneasy everyone was feeling, but they all understood not to prevent the boy from sharing. He had a lot of built up trauma that he tried forcing away, and that wasnât healthy for him. He had to get everything off his chest, for the betterment of his mentality and health in general. Grian tried not to grimace as Tommy moved onto the death of the president, how he died of a heart attack. Doing his best to make sure his brother was comfortable, he periodically offered the younger boy drink and snack breaks in order to collect his thoughts. Tommy was grateful for these.Â
â-He was so mad that we reinstalled a person to be our leader, saying that we betrayed him, but thatâs not the case! I promise you it wasnât! I wouldnât have intentionally betrayed someone that I saw as my brother, my idol, my...my friend.â
Grian put an arm around the slouching boy and after making a mental note to help him fix his posture offered him a hand. Tommy happily accepted the comfort, trying his best to compose himself.
âAnd then he...he...â
âWhat is it, Tommy? What did Techno do?â
âHe asked me if I wanted to be a hero. I didnât even get to properly answer him. I still remember his words, they are forever engraved in my brain. âYou wanna be a hero, Tommy? Then die like one!â Then he set fucking withers on my nation, my home. Pathetic, isnât it? Haha, and thatâs not the worst part! That wasnât even the worst disaster to have happened on that stupid, cursed day. My nation was blown up, and when I had turned to see what happened, I saw Wilbur, standing there, laughing at the chaos. Next thing I knew, dad- er, Phil, he...he killed him. I lost Wilby. I couldnât save him from his madness.â
His voice had gotten much quieter as he spoke about that painful day. If everyone wasnât so quiet they would have missed it, the way Tommyâs voice broke and quivered. Trying not to break, he leaned into his older brother, not paying any attention to the height difference. Grian, in turn, was holding his little brother as if the world would crumble if he let go. His brother was dead, the other blinded by his personal morals. And his father, his hero, murdered his son in front of the others. Grian did his best to listen to what Tommy was saying, not wanting him to feel unsupported. He just sat there and listened.
â-He didnât even say goodbye to me. He just stood there as Dream took me away. Ghostbur went along with me, which I was grateful for, but the company of a ghost can only go so far, especially when itâs of your late brother.â
No one could believe the burdens put upon the shoulders of these two boys. They shouldnât have had to deal with any of this, yet they were forced to do so. They couldnât get mad at Tubbo, he didnât deserve to be despised after having to deal with such a stressful decision at such a young age. Iskall took over trying to comfort Tommy while Grian tried to drink as much water as he could, as if it would drown all the emotions he was feeling. He felt absolutely sick hearing what Dream put his baby brother through. He suddenly felt amazing at being a Dream slayer. He was sure Tommy would find comfort in that. Tommy eventually got to the end of his stay with Techno.Â
âI was hoping that he would understand why I didnât stay, why I had to leave. As much as I care for him, he was feeding in to my negative thoughts, and I had to prevent myself from becoming everything I didnât want to be. He didnât get it, though. I still saw him as a friend, a brother, but he only saw me as a selfish traitor. He only saw me as someone who wanted to use him as a weapon. Phil called me a traitor, too, and they took down my tower. Itâs okay, everyone sees them as ugly pieces of shit. Tubbo and I began to slowly heal our friendship as we prepared for Doomsday, but thatâs when things got weird. As Tubbo and I went on a walk to discuss our plan, some weird portal opened up in the ground. I felt weightless as I fell in, and then I ended up here. Iâve been here with you guys ever since.â
Before he could say anything else, Tommy was engulfed into an embrace. Grian buried his brotherâs face into his chest, kissing his brotherâs hair as he rocked him back and forth. Iskall joined in and rubbed the boyâs back, Mumbo approaching and supporting Grian and Tommyâs weight so they wouldnât fall. Xisuma stood behind the two, hand on Tommyâs shoulder. One by one, Stress, Scar, Joe, Tango, False, everyone began to join in on the comfort circle to give support to the brothers.
--------
Grian and Tommy had not detached from each other since the campfire. No one pointed that out, not this time. They just gave the birdie personal space with his raccoon of a brother. Everyone gave the two smiles, wishing them goodnight as they all left to stay in the lodging of their choosing in the adventure park. Tommy and Grian waved at them before turning to leave to their choice in lodging. After a while, they arrived to their destination, the Antarctic Empire. After standing in the hall and debating which room to stay in, they eventually decided to stay the night in Grianâs room. Once the were changed for bed, the two just sat on the bed, unsure whether or not they should talk about something or force themselves to sleep. Finally, sucking in a breath of confidence, Tommy spoke up.
âSo, since festival week is in a few months, wanna help me plan our outfits and hand out fliers?â
#tommyinnit#hermit!tommy au#memories in the stars#memories in the stars au#I really need to think about other tags to put on these lmao#Grian Wilbur and Techno are triplets au#Grian is an Antarctic Prince#Grian Wilbur Techno and Tommy are brothers au
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catch me if you can
ĐĄharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman
Genres: Mystery / Romance
Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldnât deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackermanâs cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldnât help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.
Chapter 7/?
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
The city he had chosen to stay in was terrible.
It was noisy, it was crowdy, and the constant heat was making Levi go insane.
And while the cityâs loudness and the amount of people in it made it easier for him to blend in, get lost in plain sight and all that bullshit, the heatâ the fucking heat, gods, it was killing him.
Levi didnât like cold weather, despised all the layer of clothes he had to put on just to get to the nearest supermarket and buy instant noodles, he hated the snow with passion he carried since his childhood, he thought that winter was the worst season of them all.
Oh, how wrong he was.
The heat was making his skin crawl. Even in just tank top and shorts, he felt too hot. Drinking cold water, taking cold showers, none of it helped. Levi turned the air conditioning in his room on maximum, but the motel he was staying at was shitty, his room was shitty, and, as a result, the air conditioning was shitty too.
Levi was sick of it. His skin was constantly clammy and sticky, he couldnât sleep at night, there was never enough air around him, and walking around the city during the daytime made him seriously consider whether he was actually a vampire.
The sun⊠could it really burn so much? It didnât used to be so unbearable before.
But apart from that⊠Levi was starting to accommodate to his new life.
Leaving his hometown behind, he decided to let go of his previous habits too. He got himself a job - not a respectable, but at least an honest one.
Being a janitor in a shitty bar after spending most of his life as a thief was almost⊠therapeutic.
The vomit on the walls and piss on the floors were enraging him to the point of seeing red and sometimes he wanted to break a leg of every asshole who didnât know when they had enough and went to make a mess in the toilet, but⊠working there was therapeutic nevertheless. And a definite improvement too.
At least, his life wasnât in danger anymore and he didnât have to run away from police.
Although, he wouldnât mind running away from a certain police officer. Perhaps, this time he would let her catch him. Perhaps, then his heart would stop clenching in pain every time he thought about Hange.
Perhaps, then heâd be able to let go.
He tried letting go, forgetting about Hange, just as he tried to put behind his life of crime. Unfortunately, putting Hange behind proved to be that much harder.
Some nights, when the heat was especially bad, he felt especially lonely and the shitty whiskey at the shitty bar he was working at didnât do the trick, heâd snuck a look at how Hange was doing. Heâd open his phone, scroll through a news feed. If heâd get lucky, there would a recording of some press conference with Hange at the center of it all.
Apparently, she was doing well. Her shoulder was almost healed, although sometimes she still winced, when gesticulating too frantically. But the paleness in her face that was present when he had visited her at the hospital was long gone, and at the few press conferences that allowed Levi to catch a glimpse of her, Hangeâs cheeks were adorned by healthy, rosy blush. Her hair was just as wild, just as messy, and her voice carried the same inspiring conviction.
Whether Hange found out the truth about him or not, he didnât know, but she had moved past Ackermansâ case and during the time Levi was getting used to his new life she alredy solved two robberies.
She was working on a new case now, something about a young girl who had mysteriously vanished. Levi didnât bother to find out the details, the name Krista Lenz meant nothing to him, but nevertheless, he wished that Hange would succeed. She deserved that, her quick wit and determination were meant to be recognized and celebrated.
That bright, happy smile on her face, the one she was sporting during the conference that discussed one of the solved robberies, it suited Hange so much. Levi wished sheâd wear it more often.
He wished heâd see it more often, but well⊠some things just werenât meant to be.
Strangely so, Kenny didnât contact him even once. No obnoxious phone call, no mysterious messages or weird gifts. There was no sign of him for almost two months, and Levi would have started worrying, would have tried to contact the man himself, if⊠if Kenny wasnât Kenny.
His uncle was like a cockroach, Levi was one hundred percent sure that nothing and no one could cause him any harm. And if there was someone who actually could do this, Kenny would have harmed them back, ten times worse.
Still, the thoughts about Kenny lingered at the back of his mind, and memories about Hange did the same irritating thing. It made Levi feel awfully nostalgic sometimes, borderline melancholic. And fairly quickly he found out there was nothing he could do about it. No amount of whiskey or dirty toilets could chase that sadness away. That sadness was a new part of his new life.
Maybe, it was better than always living on the edge.
Luckily, he didnât feel so lonely all the time, his colleagues at the bar made sure of that.
And while his boss, a bald, gross man called Shadis definitely wasnât a joy to have around, two others â a barmaid named Sasha and waiter Connie were so much better.
They were annoying in their own right, of course. Sasha had a weird obsession with food, Connieâs sense of humor left much to be desired, and together both of them were so damn loud, but for brats who barely stepped into adulthood, they provided a fairly enjoyable company.
They let Levi take his mind off certain things, and they kept him from falling into the abyss of loneliness and depression.
They also opened up the side of him that Levi wasnât even aware of.
Connie had once mentioned in a passing that his mother had died years ago, and whatever happened to Sashaâs family, she wasnât living with them anymore, sharing a small flat with Connie and another guy, Jean.
In Leviâs humble, unbiased opinion, Jean was a self-centered, pompous jerk. He wasnât working in the bar with his two friends, and instead had involved himself in some shady shit with a local gang, which apparently terrified the whole neighborhood. Levi wanted to tell the boy that he was a fucking idiot, if he thought that messing with criminals was a good idea, but he doubted that Jean would listen. Luckily, Jean wasnât around too often and visited the bar only, when he was miserable about some girl he had a crush on, or whenever he wished to get drunk for free.
It was a good thing that Levi barely interacted with Jean. The boy was so annoying. And also â too damn tall.
He didnât hear about any other friends of theirs, and as far as Levi was aware, there was no actual adult watching over Sasha and Connie, so⊠he kinda, unwillingly, of course, took that task upon himself.
Obviously, he made sure to remain discreet. He didnât want the brats to know that he cared, because he didnât, naturally.
He claimed that he simply cooked too much food and the leftovers would go to waste, if he didnât give them away, when he brought them pasta or soup. He mentioned his insomnia and pretended that long walks helped him sleep better, when Sasha and Connie went home after midnight. He lied about having experience in bartending when Sasha got stomach flu. He said that he was just accidentally passing by their apartment, when later that day he visited to check on her.
The brats were too dense to notice his subtle attempts anyway, or so Levi hoped. They had never brought it up, and that had to mean something, right?
And that time when Connie tried to fix Leviâs air conditioning, or when Sasha brought a whole jar of his favorite tea, or all those evenings when he felt blue and homesick and they helped him clean the bar and took him out to dinner, surely it was nothing more than a coincidence.
The brats had their moments, Levi had to admit, and sometimes their presence was almost pleasant.
But sometimes they made him wish they shut their mouths and never opened them again.
Right now, that desire was more prevalent than ever.
âSay, Mister Levi,â Levi hated when they called him that, it made him sound even older than he actually was. He told them to stop it, many times. But the brats didnât care. He slowly raised his eyes to show that he was listening. As soon as he did, Sasha put a fist underneath her chin, forgetting about the important task of cleaning the glasses to stare at him curiously. âDo you have someone?â
âSomeone?â he had an inkling of what Sasha was asking him about, but he didnât wish to discuss that with the damned brats. He didnât wish to discuss that topic with no one, ever. Because⊠there was nothing to discuss.
âYep, someone!â Connie chimed in. âLike, hm, a significant other?â
âA beloved!â Sasha agreed, nodding enthusiastically.
Levi felt the migraine coming. âI donât have any kind of someone,â he gritted. âAnd I never did.â
âReally?â Sasha tilted her head to the side, looking so skeptical that Levi was ready to get offended. Was he not convincing enough? âI thought you do. Itâs just that sometimesââ
âWhen you think no one is looking!â Connie swiftly added.
âYour face seems so much softer, and your scowl almost disappears, and you lookââ
âJust like Jean when he thinks about Mikasa.â
Who the fuck was Mikasa? And what face was Jean making? Levi couldnât be making the same one, could he?
âBut if you say there is no one,â Sasha sighed, returning to her task of cleaning glasses. Wearing the same sad face as she did, Connie went back to gathering dishes from the tables. âThen I guess weâre wrong.â
Damn right, they were. There was no one, and whatever face they thought he was making, it couldnât possibly be related to a certain police officer from the other side of the world.
âAnd if there is no one you have to think about,â Sasha winked, like she was seeing right through him. âThen let me make you a drink. Itâs a new recipe I found, it involves tequila, vodka andââ
Levi raised a hand to cut her off. âJust surprise me.â
Sasha nodded and went to work. She frequently let Levi taste her new cocktails. He was the perfect man for it â he didnât get drunk too fast, and he was the only Sashaâs friend who tasted something better than cheap whiskey or a beer from a local supermarket. He also never shied away from telling her when the drink was fucking awful.
Sasha hummed as she mixed the drink, some song Levi vaguely recognized from the radio. She was smiling too, she did that frequently, and something about her, be it the ponytail that jumped up and down when she was excited, or her easy-going, cheerful personality reminded him of Hange.
These days, lots of things reminded him about Hange. There were days when almost everything reminded him of Hange. It seemed like today was exactly a day like that.
âYouâre making that same face again,â Sasha whispered, as she handed him the drink.
Levi scowled, glaring at the girl, as he put the glass up to his lips. He finished it in one go. âIt tastes like shit,â he told her. âPut it on the menu.â
Sasha beamed, refilling his glass. âKnew youâd like it.â
âBy the way, boss,â Levi wasnât their boss, as far as he was aware, their actual boss was getting drunk in his office, all the while mumbling incomprehensible gibberish about some Carla. But Levi had to admit, being called boss was so much better than the godforsaken mister Levi. "Are you free tonight?"
Levi was free every day and every night, when he wasnât working in the bar with Connie and Sasha. It wasnât like he had any friends or even acquaintances beside two brats. However, saying it out loud would make him look even more pathetic that he actually was. So Levi shrugged, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, âDepends.â
âWould you like to come over for dinner?â Connie asked, looking at him with a smile so hopeful that Levi was ready to say yes right that instant. God, they already had him wrapped around their fingers. How embarrassing. At least, Kenny wasnât here to witness it. Heâd have a laugh of his life, if he found that Levi was adopted by two teenagers. âJean is away on a trip, so weâd be glad to have some company.â
âHe went to see his family?â
From the way Sasha bit her lip and Connie refused to meet his eye, Levi knew â their friend didnât go on a simple trip. He sighed, taking a sip from his glass and letting the bitter liquid burn his throat. Admittedly, it was none of his business. He shouldnât care about it, he wasnât their father, for godâs sake. But⊠a friendly piece of advice wouldnât hurt, right?
âYour friend plays with fire. And if he continues doing soââ
âJean knows what he is doing,â Connie crossed hands on his chest defensively. âHe is smart.â
Levi couldnât help but scoff. âJust being smart is not enough. There will always be someone smarter.â
âJean knows what he is doing,â Connie repeated stubbornly. âHeâll be fine.â
Maybe, he will, maybe, he wonât. At the end of the day, Levi had no say about it. He might call them brats, but they were already adults. They were allowed to do as they wished. They were bound to make some mistakes.
âTell him to be more careful. Otherwise, youâll suffer too.â
Levi left it at that, not wanting to antagonize Sasha and Connie any further. Besides, it was time to open the bar, or the drunkards all across the block would start banging on their doors. Worse than that, Shadis might come out of his office too. His sour face was the last thing Levi wished to see.
âLetâs get to work,â he nodded to the kids, and took his drink to the dark corner of the room, where he usually spend his shifts, waiting until the patrons start making a mess heâd have to clean.
Surprisingly, the evening came and went, but there was no mess for him to deal with. No one vomited, no one shitted all over the toilets. No one spilled their beer on the floor, or even a table. Were their patrons starting to learn how act like people, and not pigs? Or were they so well-behaved because it was just the beginning of a week? Or did the heat finally get to them and turn them just as slow and tired as Levi himself felt?
However, the weather was more merciful that day. The temperature was still high, too high for Leviâs taste, but just after the sunset the wind was starting to pick up, the storm slowly brewing. During the smoke break outside the bar, Levi could see the lightening, illuminating the far edge of the sky. The rain was in the air, and he allowed his lips to curl up in a pleased smile. Perhaps, heâd finally be able to sleep through the whole night and not toss and turn, feeling like the bed turned into a scorching pan.
When he went back inside, the bar was almost empty, just a few regulars left, nursing their half-finished drinks.
âDo you want to have pizza or sushi?â Sasha asked, as he started sweeping the floor. âWe can order both if you wish.â
Levi rolled his eyes with a disgusted tsk. âEating so much takeout is unhealthy. Letâs finish here and go to supermarket. Iâll cook you something decent.â
Connie yelled a loud yahoo, while Sasha squeezed him in a suffocating hug. The heartwarming moment was cut short, when the door to the bar was thrown open with a loud bang.
It let inside the gush of wind and drops of freezing rain. With a broom still in his hands, Levi turned sharply to the door, ready to rip the unlucky drunkard a new one, the bar had closed almost an hour ago, the sign was right there for everyone to see.
All harsh words died on the way between his throat and his tongue. Levi froze on the spot, and in the silence that followed the lightning strike was as sudden as a gunshot.
Sashaâs distressed cry and Connieâs shocked sob put him out of the stupor.
Throwing the broom away, Levi moved, catching the falling, bloodied boy into his arms.
âJean!â Sasha was the first one of the two to snap out of it. She ran to Levi, with trembling hands lifting up her friendâs face.
âWhat the fuck had happened?â Connie kneeled next to them, his eyes wide and scared as he stared at Jean.
Jean looked awful, there was no way around it. His cheeks and jaw were bruised, his right eye was already swollen, and his light brown hair had too much red in it.
âIâm sorry,â he croaked out, too weak and injured to offer something more than a shaking whisper. âIâm sorry, Iâve fucked up, I didnât know where to run and now theyâre coming here, I didnât mean to do this, I didnât think, Iââ
He could continue that nonessential ramble for the rest of the night. But if they, whoever those they were, were truly coming, Jean and his friends didnât have that much time. Carefully, Levi lifted Jeanâs arm, wincing when he saw that the boyâs shirt was bloodied too, and threw it over Connieâs shoulder. Then he took the key from the back pocket of his shorts and thrusted it into Sashaâs palm.
âTake him to my room in the motel.â
âAnd you?â
Levi pushed the hair away from his face, already hating himself for his next words. Kenny was right, he cared too much, and it was his biggest weakness, one that would probably get him killed one day. Perhaps, that day had already arrived.
âIâll stay here and buy you some time.â
âNo!â Jean protested, frantically grabbing Levi by the elbow. âItâs my fuck up, you shouldnât get involved, you donât knowââ
âI do know. And unlike you, I can actually take care of myself.â
Perhaps, he was too harsh, but it was necessary. Jean had fucked up, and whatever he had done, he had to own that mistake and learn from it. That was the only way he would survive through another one of his mistakes.
âHurry up,â he told Sasha and Connie. âIâll meet you as soon as Iâm finished.â
Thankfully, they didnât try to argue. Connie wished him luck and Sasha made him promise to come back, and that was it.
As soon as they had left, Levi hopped behind the bar counter to pour himself a shot of whiskey. He lighted up a cigarette, waiting for the front door to swing open and Jeanâs persecutors to arrive. Hopefully, theyâd do it without guns blazing.
He was just finishing the first glass and was thinking of getting himself a second one, when the mighty kick almost as loud as the thunder outside pushed the door open. Three men tumbled inside a second later, their faces transformed by fury into caricature masks.
âWhere is that son of a bitch?â roared one in the middle, their leader, Levi assumed.
Levi was in no hurry to answer. He took the last drag of the cigarette, meticulously put it down against the surface of an ashtray. Then looked at the men in front of him. âThe bar is closed. There is no one here but me.â
âStop fucking with us!â the asshole on the left shouted. âWe saw him run inside!â
âIf that fucker isnât here, perhaps we should look around for his friends,â the third man offered. âI know theyâre working here.â
So there was no way around it? Levi sighed, walking from beyond the counter. âJust so you know,â approaching the men, he cracked his knuckles. âI donât condone violence.â
One of the thugs started laughing, the other two immediately followed. Levi didnât expect any other reaction. The men were burly, large, they definitely werenât smart.
âWhat are you going to do to us, midget? Do you seriously think you can beat us up?â
The insult was followed by a punch, a careless, blundering one. Levi effortlessly dodged it, delivering a vicious kick to the stomach of his attacker. The man - who upon the close inspection had yellow teeth and reeked of cheap alcohol â staggered. He caught himself at the last second, holding onto nearest table with white-knuckled desperation. Levi hit again, this time with his knee. With a gasp that turned into a groan, the man fell onto the ground.
Luckily, he stayed there, and Levi turned his attention to the other two.
The one who stood at the left attacked instantly, aiming his enormous fist at Leviâs jaw. There was an unfinished bottle of whiskey on the counter right behind him, and Levi grabbed it, smashing it against the manâs head. The resulting sound was loud, almost deafening. Levi tried to forget about the mess of spilled whiskey on the floor and let himself enjoy that pleasant sound for another moment.
That was a slight miscalculation on his part, because the last man apparently was armed with knife, and he swung it without hesitation. Levi jumped to the side, but wasnât quick enough. The knifeâs edge kissed his cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind it. A mere second later, the knife was in the air once again. Levi was ready for it this time, but as he prepared to take a swift step back, his ankle refused to budge. He looked down to see that one of the defeated men was back in the game, still laying on a floor, but holding Levi in one place. Levi quickly dealt with him, using another leg to kick the manâs head. It took him no more than a moment, but it was enough for him to lose sight of his last attacker. Whatever plan of retaliation Levi had, he lost it, when the knife embedded in his forearm, making him hiss and cuss. Irritated, he roughly grabbed the hand that held the knife, twisting the arm at the wrist.
There was a loud crack, then the even louder scream.
Not too elegant, but, at least, it did the job.
Yanking the knife out of his arm, Levi threw it away, allowing it to clutter on the ground.
âGet the fuck out of here!â he snarled at the men, who werenât laughing anymore. On the contrary, their faces were panicked, frightened. They pathetically scrambled to their feet, pushing each other to get outside as fast as possible. âAnd donât come back!â Levi shouted to their backs.
When the door fell closed, Levi slumped back against the counter. The spot on his cheek was tingling unpleasantly, his arm was hurting like a bitch, and the whole bar had turned into a mess â the shards of glass and spilled whiskey were all over the floor. The blood from his arm was creating a small puddle too.
Levi viciously cursed and grabbed a towel, making a make-shift bandage. It had to do for the time being.
One mess was dealt with, and now another was awaiting him. Heâd be lucky if the dirty floor would be the biggest of his troubles tonight.
But somehow, Levi knew that it was just the beginning.
***
Levi never considered himself to be a philosophic kind of person, he never pondered on the meaning of things, never felt the desire to look at the problem at hand from all possible angles, never reflected on his feelings and emotions.
He did however notice that the small room he had rented in a shitty motel at the edge of the city never felt to him like home. It was a place to live, it had a bed to sleep, it held some of his belongings, but it wasnât a home, it didnât provoke in him the feeling of belonging that he found inside the walls of his and Kennyâs old apartment.
He spent a little more than two months, living in that shithole, and never once he thought â Iâm home, never once he felt â I belong right here.
But something very similar was blooming in his chest, when he passed the threshold of his shitty motel room and fell right into the arms of Connie and Sasha.
Sasha started cleaning his wounds right away, while Connie rushed to get the new bandages for his bloodied arm.
âYou should have been more careful,â Sasha chided, and, fuck, he really got adopted by a couple of kids just like that.
âWe could have dealt with this ourselves,â Connie said, and then, after a little pause, added, âProbably.â
Levi hummed and resisted the urge to ruffle the hair on their heads. He didnât have that much affection for the little shits. Probably.
Just as they finished, Jean appeared, unsteadily walking out of the bathroom. He stopped not long after, leaning against the doorframe. Patched up and cleaned, he still didnât look like his usual, confident and complacent self. Now he reminded Levi of a puppy who was thoroughly and viciously kicked. His hair was now clean of blood, but the shirt was still covered in red patches. Levi would have offered him one of his own t-shirts, but⊠on Jeanâs lanky body itâd look more like a crop top. Or a childâs shirt.
âIâm sorry,â Jean murmured, not meeting Leviâs eyes. âI didnât know itâd lead to this.â
Yeah, they almost never know. Levi sighed, there was no point in scolding boy any further. He had realized his fuck up already, his buddies from the gang made sure of that.
âWhat the hell happened?â Levi asked, his back turned to Jean, as he went to prepare the tea for all of them. It would help to soothe some of Jeanâs injuries, and it would also help to relieve Levi of the building tension in his shoulders.
âI⊠wasnât quite ready for this life, I guess,â Jean sat down on a bed, covering his face with hands. âThere is a guy Iâve been working with, he stole some drugs he was supposed to sell, and other gang members found out and decided to punish him, make an example out of him, but that guy⊠he was my friend, sort of? We hanged out a lot, and I just couldnât see him get hurt like thatâŠâ
âOh my god!â Sashaâs hands flew to her face and her mouth opened wide. âDid you get beat up because you tried to protect Marco?â
Connie snorted. âI see youâre getting over Mikasa pretty quickly.â
Behind his hands, Jeanâs face started to gain color. âI just helped a guy out.â
âAnd didnât even ask for a kiss after the heroic rescue?â Sasha teased.
âThere wasnât much time for kisses after the whole gang started running after us.â
âYou poor thing,â Connie patted Jeanâs head, sharing a mischievous look with Sasha. âDidnât even get a kiss for all the trouble.â
The two boys started to bicker, and Levi watched the scene, feeling the pounding inside his head increase. Itâd be a long, long night. The one heâd have to spend sleeping on a floor, because there were three brats in his room and only one queen-sized bed.
He raised a hand, putting a stop to the argument that was starting to raise in volume.
âIs the other guy alright?â he asked Jean, as he handed him a cup, filled with steaming tea.
Jean accepted the drink with a grateful nod, but didnât answer the question right away, staring inside the cup thoughtfully. âHe managed to get out of the city. The assholes that beat me up caught me just after he got on a bus.â
Well, that was certainly good news. The only one they received since the beginning of this evening.
âYou have to run away too, preferably for quite some time. Those guys wonât forget about you so easily. Do you have a place where you can hide?â
âWellâŠâ frowning, Jean rubbed his neck, âMy parents have a summer houseâŠâ
âExcellent, does anyone know about it?â
âNo, not even these idiots,â Jean answered, pointing at Sasha and Connie.
âThen take these idiots, because your gangster pals know, where all of you live and work,â Levi grumbled. âAnd get out of here first thing in the morning. Spend a few months in the countryside, wait until this shitty storm is over.â
âAnd what about you? Now they know about you too.â
What about him⊠good question. And a very easy one to answer. Heâd have to change cities again, luckily, he already had some experience with that. Sure, it was an inconvenience, but⊠better than live his life and have to constantly look over his shoulder, or die in some dirty alleyway. Perhaps, heâd be able to return some day, when the tensions were long over.
âIâll leave the city,â he told them. âWouldnât be the first time.â
âYou had to run away before?â Connie asked, awe written all over his face. âSo cool!â
âAnd you beat up all these guys for us!â Sasha agreed, adoration shining in her gaze.
âYou arenât just a janitor, eh?â Jean stared at him with narrowed eyes.
Levi saved from answering by a loud shrill of the phone.
Everyone in the room tensed, Levi felt his heart pounding inside his chest, a relentless boom, boom, boom. He wet his lips, his throat suddenly too dry, and stood up.
âNo!â Jean grabbed his arm, stopping Levi from picking up the phone. Levi understood his panic, it was the middle of the night, who in their right mind would call him at this time? Who would call him period, all the people Levi knew in this city were sitting next to him. Unless, it was Shadis who got out of his drunken stupor and decided to have a friendly chat with a janitor from his bar?
And if it wasnât Shadis, thenâŠ
Acutely feeling his every heartbeat, Levi pulled his arm out of Jeanâs grasp. Swallowing that persisting lump inside his throat down, he put his hand on a phone handle. Slowly, holding in his breath, he lifted the phone and put it to his ear.
âIs your name even Levi? Or was that another lie, you asshole?â
That voice. Her voice. Levi helplessly fell back in the armchair behind him.
âH-hange?â the crack in his voice was heard and analyzed by a bunch of kids, who now all stood beside him. Levi waved them away, drowning out the intrigued murmuring, and focused on a person on the other side of the line.
âYou still remember my name, Iâm flattered, Ackerman,â ah, so she found out. Not surprising in the slightest, but disappointing nevertheless. But how did she find out? And when? And why she was calling now? And how she managed to obtain the number of a motel he was staying at? So many questions, Levi wanted to ask them all at once. He didnât even know where to start. âAnd just a piece of friendly advice, next time you go into hiding, donât go around asking police officers on a date.â
Well, that was one question answered. Only one hundred remained.
âAre you going to arrest me now?â
âNo, unfortunately,â Hange bitterly replied. âI need you, Ackerman. For work,â she added, before Levi could get any ideas and just before his heart started racing like crazy. âTake the first flight back to city, if you donât want me to drag you out of there by force. Iâll be waiting for you in the airport.â
Hange was going to end the call, Levi could practically see her finger hover over the button. Before she did, he cried out, âWait!â and then, much more calmly he added, âWhat do you need me for?â
âYour uncle went missing. I need you to help me find him.â
The line went dead immediately after that. It took Levi another moment to pull himself together.
Kenny was⊠missing? Kenny, his ruthless, unstoppable uncle? And Hange was looking for him? Too much was unknown, too much was unclear, too much was yet to be explained.
One thing for sure, he wouldnât find the answers here. Well, one problem was solved then, he didnât have to change cities anymore. Heâd just have to return home.
âSo.â
Just a short word, but so much meaning was put in it. With a feeling of dread, Levi turned to face Sasha. He shuddered at the sight of her wide, shit-eating smile.
âHange, hm?â she asked, twirling a lock of hair.
âHange is your someone, right?â Connie excitedly exclaimed. âYour Mikasa?â
âHange is his Marco,â Sasha corrected, earning a vicious curse and a middle finger from Jean. âI guess itâs all over with Mikasa.â
It was all over with Hange too. There was nothing with Hange to begin with. And there would be nothing, because apparently she hated him now. For a good reason too.
Fuck. Kenny, Hange, the brats, they all caused Levi a massive headache. And there was no running away from it, theyâd find him whenever he ran.
Perhaps, it meant that he had to stop running. And come back home.
âLetâs go to sleep,â he told the kids. âA long journey is ahead of you. And ahead of me too.â
âYouâre leaving? To your Hange?â
âHange is not my someone, Iâm just leaving,â Levi grunted, turning off the light. âGo to sleep before I knock you all out.â
Thankfully, they listened and got on a bed without a word of complain.
âItâs good that your Hange found you,â Sasha mumbled, already sleepy. âMaybe, now you wonât be so sad anymore.â
Sasha seemed to fall asleep immediately after, not waiting for Leviâs answer. Or, perhaps, she wasnât interested in it.
Soon Connie was out as well, and even Jean, after a few of tosses, turns and more than a dozen pained groans managed to settle in comfortably and fall into deep slumber.
Levi didnât get so lucky, the thoughts about what tomorrow would bring swirling in his mind and keeping him awake.
But, well⊠at least his melancholy and homesickness wouldnât be a problem anymore. After two months of being away, he was going home at last.
Strangely, the prospect didnât seem that thrilling.
#remember when i said that sasha and connie are my literal favorites? yeah it's a chapter dedicated to that#levihan
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