#also im trying to get more into traditional art cause like i miss it

[myscultra]

mobu

[pokeberry5]

do you have any tips for drawing dynamic poses? i always love the way you draw bodies!!

i know this has been said a million times but the way i draw bodies significantly improved after i started drawing more frequently from reference. if i cant find a reference for a pose on the internet, i'll just use myself or a friend. i spend an unfortunate amount of time just standing in front of my mirror looking at my own joints. pay attention to where your body curves!!

other than that though—honestly my anatomy/pose knowledge is a whack amalgamation of art tips i've accumulated over the years (i miss old school deviantart/tumblr style art tutorials). i also like to look at how artists i admire draw bodies—what details to they include, what anatomical short-hands etc

i think i'm still figuring out how to draw dynamic poses, but here are some cheats i've picked up (under the cut coz this got long again):

gonna use this stray!tim as a base

the easiest way for make up a pose is to start roughly with the head, collarbones, ribcage, and pelvis — you can build everything from there

here's a couple more of what i mean by the ribcage-pelvis deconstruction:

2. push your perspective a little!! imo things look more dynamic if you move your sight-line up or down—the horizontal orange line here. if you look at the panels above, the sight lines tend to be a little low, at around the character's torso or waist. i did the same below with stray!tim

to do this i usually try to get a sense of the space im working in by putting in some sloppy perspective grids

3. S curves!!! exaggerate the lines of the body. the body naturally has parallel horizontal lines���an easy way to get a body to look less rigid is to tilt those horizontal lines which in turn curves the vertical line of the body

this is what a mean by horizontal lines—usually i use the eyes, shoulders, and hips:

i'm gonna use caterina as a better example—usually you want the horizontal lines to sort of zigzag:

i've also picked up a couple visual tricks that don't exactly add dynamism to a pose? but they do give a static pose a little more oomph. a lot of this is done by visually highlighting one specific point of the body

for our purposes, i'm gonna make the focal point tim's face

motion blur! there are a couple ways to do this. i actually dont like working with traditional motion blur because you have to mess around with selections, so i usually fake motion blur using postional perspective blur:

2. gradient lighting—you can add a lot of depth this way. usually i like setting the gradient in the direction of the focal point, e.g. tim's face

below, i added a layer above the base drawing, used an airbrush to get this gradient, and then set the layer to color burn and lowered the opacity. you can also clip the lighting layer to the base drawing and set it to multiply

below, i did the opposite—instead of adding a gradient shadow, i added gradient light. i set the layer to add this time (instead of color burn) and then lowered the opacity again.

this kinda serves to desaturate the parts of the piece that are less important (ish i was kinda sloppy here), driving the eye to face—the most saturated. the motion blur does a similar thing, where the only thing "in focus" is tim's face

the gradient also sort of adds a directionality to the piece—it starts at the bottom right corner and goes up towards the upper left, causing your eye to follow that same path, which drags your gaze up tim's body

here's what it looks like when i combine 1 and 2:

3. chromatic aberration's been pretty popular recently. it does a similar thing as perspective blur but with more eyestrain (although i went with a really exaggerated version below just to show you what it does) but it looks cool!

bonus cryptid tim as a reward for getting to the end :-)

[neonfretra]

just read your nhl teams opinion post and I'm laughing my head off. sharkies clean sweep <3 <3 <3

COMPLETELY valid reason to dislike the devils, dw 'bout that (though if you ever need an infodump about them I come armed and ready!), but I will just say... macblack my beloved demon shark needle dodger... you are FAR from the only devil who's been stiffed by the terrible medical staff. imagine being sponsored by a hospital and having the worst concussion spotters in the league. radio-for-a-head is sputtering static right now I HATE THE DEVILS MEDSTAFF SO FUCKING MUCH THEY KEEP OBVIOUSLY INJURED PLAYERS IN GAMES AND IN THE LINEUP FOR NO FUCKING REASON AUGHHHHH

but I like how you looked at the entire east and went "who cares, experience shork". I aspire to be like this.

I also wish I could forget the Leafs. I also aspire to be like this.

um. in lieu of any like. actual content have pictures :]

timo mimo......... grabby hands............... it is possible that I named my blåhaj after him..................... they're the same picture your honor!!!

but I like how you looked at the entire east and went "who cares, experience shork". I aspire to be like this.

i need you to know this line has put me in honest to god, genuine tears from laughing. oh my god i didnt even realize. like i have the standings pulled up and goin down the list i literally only care for THREE teams (the bolts, the sens, and the pens) for their proximity to the sharks. INCREDIBLY humbling. read me like an open book. im returning to this ask when im not lightheaded oh my god

ok multiple parts to this response because im goin point by point. i yap a LOT. not sorry, hello <3

the art!

OH... those wings are DELIGHTFUL!!! i love how nicely you simplified them, especially with a pen hell?? very very elegant, i hope you get a major minor obsession with angels ^_^

the devs & injuries in the nhl

how they handle injuries drive me UP THE WALL. like i personally assume teams start actin like this when theyre in hopes of playoffs when in reality its like . BABY. WE ARENT GOIN TO BOSTON. PUT THE STICK DOWN.

to make this about the sharks (you read my rankings, you know im like this) i constantly joke about the sharks being the healthiest team in the league cause all our players are out. like christ we have second most missed games on a per player basis at 459 man games lost to injury, second to vegas!

but i think its straight up because playoffs are SUCH a pipe dream for 19-wins-total san jose sharks that we dont HAVE the same pressure to play with torn muscles or broken bones. there is a reason why mackblack CAN have his 72 hours of purgatory (3 day long fever) out compared to teams who are noted to have locker room wide sickness and still getting in board battles. i think we should expose mackblack to them kinda players before the preseason so he builds an immunity to whatever they got. yeah im basically trying to vaccinate him SORRY i am getting distracted

YES, i will disappointed beyond words when the sharks start gettin better at hockey

and its like that that i cant really say its a DEVS thing now, its tradition to see what horrific injury a player played through in their locker cleanout like a more morbid new years countdown. do not want to imagine the consequences of the culture as perpetuated by both staff and players on long term health. lord. and people get mad about mark stone takin time off.

in the same ravine, different vein, hohhh boy they were NOT joking we have gotta separate leagues and medical care. nothin good has come of a doctor workin in the best interest of your team that wants you on ice ASAP and not in the interest of keeping you healthy and able to play and to live a decent life after playin. league worst concussion spotters is a HIGH bar. lird.

but in the same breath what can you do about a mess of on ice spotters? unless you plan on bringin your family doctor as a plus one. which is an absolute wild thought actually. wag jacket for my medical practitioner <3 rhinestone directly INto my open injury <3

sponsored by a hospital too... irony is rollin in its grave hello a whole rotisserie chicken of it

the devs, but more normal

wait oh god i gotta be SO honest with you when i was raggin on the devs i had you in mind as like. THEE friend of mine that roots for em and debating on how impolite itd be to drag your team. and then i remembered we both root for vgk <3

would you believe me when i say i followed them a bit? yeah i was mostly lookin for kahkonen, i do miss him though id call it a bit bad mannered of me to clearly only root for a team for one player LOL

do NOT look at vgk. or tbl. or dal. dont even look at ME.

does it actually count if im also lookin at timo meier? two players thats gotta count for umm something. two things even? because hes an exshark. yeah. oh god it really is a sharkies clean sweep. beloved stereax you have unwound me like the noble helicase. you got me checked out and in like a library book. you broke me down to my barest components. what do i even do with myself right now???

i will NOT say more lest i embarrass myself more than i have already

LOVE that you named your blahaj after him, thats very cute <3 i am endlessly enamored by the photo you chose of timo mimo, why are you so hat boy!!!

hey isnt a blahaj also a shark

PLEASE feel free to tell me bout the devs, im sure knowin more about the team will not make me itching to throw down with their managements poor decisions any more ^_^

getting a little less normal, a little more embarrassing now

okay i need to be so honest with you. and myself. mostly myself. i was SO surprised to learn media has an eastern conference bias. what the hell is a traditional hockey market.

bringing shame to my family name by discussing the leafs

should i not be tryin to remember them if youre tryin to forget LMAO

you wanna know something more humiliating than regularly forgetting the leafs. i confuse them with MULTIPLE teams when i do remember them. NEAR EVERY BLUE TEAM. the bolts. the nucks. the sabres, when i do remember them. the blues.

I FOLLOW SOMEONE WITH A MITCH MARNER PFP. HOW DO I MANAGE TO FORGET THIS TEAM SO OFTEN???

visibly sweating and shaking as i stare at a wall and try to recall every bit of trivia i know about the leafs RN. if you root for the leafs i probably owe you financial compensation

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 01

(Masterpost) (Next Episode)

Warning: This is **FULL **of spoilers, not just for this episode but for the entire series. If you haven’t finished all 50 episodes, please don’t read it! 

Intro: 2020 continues to be much much too much while also being incredibly boring, and Im done with Shen Wei’s Lewks, so now I’m doing a deep meta dive into the Untamed. Let’s roll! 

Prologue: The Battle of Mordor

The Demise of our Protagonist

Unlike some other shows I won’t name, The Untamed kills its suicidal queer protagonist immediately, rather than waiting four seasons, so we know what we're in for. 

This is Wei Wuxian, who is about to yeet himself off of a cliff. He is having a bad day. 

Note: if mouth blood bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

Reasons for mouth blood: a sampler

Anyway...cliff time

Note: if (fictional) suicide bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

To be fair there are hardly any suicides in The Untamed. No more than ...five? As long as you don’t count the entire population of the Wen Corporate Headquarters in Yiling or those wall bandits in Qinghe or Madame Yu or all those Wens who supposedly threw themselves into the mud puddle or that Mo guy who broke his own neck. Plus watching Wei Wuxian’s cliff drop several more times from multiple angles. So, you know. Hardly Any Suicides. 

This is Lan Wangji, who is about to have his first losing encounter with physics. He is having a bad day.

In fact, if it is possible to have a worse day than the guy who is currently falling to his death, Lan Wangji is having that.

This is Jiang Cheng, who is feeling extra stabby from this camera angle. He is having a bad day.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me? 

(Much, much more after the cut!)

The Amulet Situation

This is the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Yes, by all means, (Netflix) subtitles, let's use a 12-dollar word, “Stygian,” that every English speaker who is not a Shelley/Byron shipper will have to look up. Let’s not use a normal word like "deathly" or "corrupt" or you know... "Yin" which is clearly what they are saying on screen.

Why does this tiger amulet look like a chameleon crossed with a remora? Wei Wuxian can paint photorealistic bunnies on a flimsy lantern while sitting in a field having distracting teenage lust, but two months of meditating with super magic gets him a tiger that looks like a chameleon. And don’t try telling me this is a traditional-Chinese-art vibe because this jade tiger from frickin 1000 BCE is way more tigerish than Wei Wuxian’s attempt. 

Try harder next time, Wei Wuxian.

This is thousands of cultivators having a battle.  What do you mean, it looks like about 40-60 dudes?

 Any time someone in The Untamed refers to a number of people, it is like when you do your high school play and look off into the wings at nothing and say “Hark, A Ship Approaches!” and everyone’s parents nod indulgently.

Jin Clan Mountain Hunt:

*viewership nods indulgently*

This is Captain Blowhard, over on the right, courtesy name Clan Leader Yao. His job is to talk smack about Wei Wuxian and stick up for whoever is the biggest asshole in any given scene.  

He represents mainstream cultivation-world values so here he is shanking one of his allies to take the deadly amulet of evilness.

The Present Day

Spilling All That Yiling Laozu Tea

Down at the Exposition Tea Shop, the Lan juniors are chilling and listening to Tea Dude tell the story of Yiling Laozu. 

How did they get permission to take this field trip? “Principal Qiran, we want to go downtown to hang out with the local rabble and learn about your favorite person, Wei Wuxian.”

Waiting in the wings is the man with a fan and a plan, Nie Huaisan(g), who is paying tall loot to get these stories told.  

...Why? Is Mo Xuanyu having tea here and listening? Or is Wei Wuxian being summoned back by hearing all this smack being talked about him? *Shrug.*

Gank Your Soul

Drunk flag guy out here talking about spirits. Wikipedia tells me that In one school of Daoist thought, a human being has a collection of physical souls (魄 pò) and ethereal souls (魂 hún). Drunk flag guy is saying “hún ” at the moment. 

The many types of souls don’t translate well into English, where spiritual vocabulary has always been shackled connected to Christian beliefs, and is too limited for this context. So when the subtitles have conversations like “Is it a soul eater? No, no, it’s a spirit taker!” just roll with it. (Speaking of hún, if you have any interest in linguistics, do yourself a favor and go read all the wonderful meta @hunxi-guilai​)

The spirit-carrying flag looks a lot like Raava and Vaatu from Korra which...probably doesn’t mean anything.

The Demise of our Trill Host

Suicide #2 happens about 8 minutes in. 

Mo Xuanyu is that hippie roommate with the annoying wind chimes and bead curtains and blood spatter.

He is super mad at his terrible family and also at Jin Guangyao, who sent him home to his terrible family. I wonder if Fan Man Nie Huaisang influenced Jiggy’s decision-making there. Mo Xuanyu’s choice to die for revenge might be excessive, given how easy it actually is to murder the Mo family.

Being Alive Is Fine I Guess As Long As I Get To Fuck WIth People

Wei Wuxian starts his new life by splashing a little water on his face, which instantly makes his hair go from this

to this. 

He looks at his reflection and wishes he was dead, which--mood--but he gets over it as soon as he finds someone whose day he can fuck up.

And he is ALL in on being crazy. 

OP wishes she had the Wei Wuxian kind of crazy instead of the kind she actually has. 

Meanwhile, this is the sane Mo cousin:

This asshole is wearing one of the best fabrics in the whole show, incidentally. Asshole.

My favorite bit of Wei-Mo craziness is when Wei Wuxian does a meaningless 360 all the way around this dude before ducking in the opposite direction, which is like when I make 4 right turns around a whole block to avoid making a single left across traffic.

Perhaps I Do Miss One Thing In This Life

Wei Wuxian has pining thoughts about Lan Wangji, so he plays WangXian on a fucking blade of grass well enough for Sizhui to recognize it from his dad's guqin jams. 

Wei Wuxian is a better flautist than even Inspector Gadget BeatBoxing Flute Guy (Google it).

Our Many Many Spirit Lure Flags have Lured A Spirit, Oh Shit

Lan Clan has a Plan and Wei Wuxian is a Fan

Having one single lure flag stuck in Wen Ning’s torso caused spirits to basically eat him alive, so to catch one evil spirit, 6 disciples holding flags on the roof plus 8 more flags on the ground seems like a good amount. Wei Wuxian is like “yep, a single one of these will lure every spirit for five miles, carry on, younglings.”

Baxia Does the Heavy Lifting

Wei Wuxian is supposed to kill four people because of this curse situation, and in the course of the series they all die, and he kills exactly zero of them. The curse on Wei Wuxian’s arm should be called the scorekeeper curse. 

Baxia’s spirit pinballs around the Mo clan, rapidly killing three people on Mo Xuanyu’s list plus a couple extras for good measure.  Who's a good blade? Baxia is! Yess you are! Yes you are!

This here is the exact point in the show where your friend, who has listened to you squee about The Untamed for three months and finally agreed to watch it with you, will say “what the fuck am I watching?” and try to get up off the couch. Tackle them! 

This also the point where we all realize that the prosthetic and practical effects in this show were probably not made by the people who made the clothing, because the quality is...variable. The white eyeballs are pretty good, but the glove of death is ridiculous.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me?

While Baxia goes to town on the Mo clan, the Lan Clan babies...watch? And tie up the various victims after they are already goners. 

Narrator: Her son is dead.

Meanwhile, 

Wei Wuxian, you motherfucker. You’ve been alive for like 7 hours and you’re already building a new zombie army. No wonder you don’t want them to call Lan Wangji.

Hanguang-Jun Cut It Up One Time

Lan Wangji shows up and very slowly kicks zombie ass with his guqin. If you are used to Hong Kong action speeds, you will find The Untamed very peaceful.

 All of the baby Lans fan squee up at Lan Wangji like he's the cultivation world's David Bowie and...they're not wrong. Jesus Fuck, he’s charismatic.

Lan Wangji is soft boi when he discovers this murderous sword full of dead-bastard energy, because it reminds him of his true love.

Like the talk about souls, the conversations about the nature of the murderous entity really don’t survive translation into English.

Servant: it’s a ghost! 

WWX: it’s not a ghost, it’s a spirit

Babies: It’s a spirit

LWJ: it’s not a spirit, it’s a [...] ghost

Our Protagonist gets the FOH

Wei Wuxian is soft boi when he sees Lan Wangji, but not so soft that he considers actually, like, sticking around. 

Wei Wuxian is also clueless boi, noting Lan Wangji’s white clothing and thinking, as in the past, that he looks like he’s dressed in mourning. The term he uses is 戴孝, which google tells me means the type of outfit worn by Jiang Yanli after Wen Ning rips her husband’s heart out someone who is in mourning. 

Actually, Wei Wuxian, you dumbass, he is in actual mourning, actually, for you. Dumbass. He probably packed away all of his blue outer robes 16 years ago and only takes them out occasionally to reminisce about that nice date you had on your mountain of corpses. 

On his way out the door Wei Wuxian manages to find a red ribbon for his beautiful hair, so things are looking up. 

Where to go next...hey I know, how about that one haunted mountain with the killer statue, you know, the one that all my executed friends and child came from? That’ll be fun and a great way to put the past behind me!

Episode 02 Restless Rewatch is here!

[system-of-a-feather]

Not necessarily DID related and honestly I have an art blog for this but I also don't use my art blog and shit, plus I don't really consider this "art posting" considering its actually more on just the hobby of it - but like, its around three years of arting at this point - probably a bit more. I had originally picked it up out of spite that one of our littles could actually draw somewhat well and was using it for chaos and found that it is honestly one of my best and most reliable self regulating activities that can help me ground, relax and focus the best.

And so ever since I started, I had originally made a deal with myself that we draw at least 30 minutes daily and for the first two years, we barely missed a day partially because we are (problematically) good at keeping routines and making hobbies out of work and work out of hobbies, but also just because it is really something I just >need< to do in order to properly maintain a sense of like, homeostasis and zen.

At this point, I don't even try to make myself draw regularly, I just naturally really try to set at least an hour aside to draw and its just become a regular part of my routine. Which is honestly a double win for me since I have this story I've been writing with a friend since I we were 12 and very much like to say "raised us more than our parents" and as a result both of us have a very strong need and urge to one day put the story out there so it can live on outside of our own mortal "foreshortened future experiencing" heads. And over time we realized that turning it into a comic / webtoon would probably be the best means of telling the story, and so as the art friend between the two, I've just casually added "becoming a reluctant mangaka" onto my list of side hobbies and skills I plan to one day do and am slowly working up, cause again - the story needs to get out there some point.

I don't plan to actaully even so much as draft anything until the RP-format of the prequel is over and at least a year or two from now has passed, so I'm currently just bolstering out skills in my art to actually make it so that I'm not gonna 1) be limited in how I can make characters and the world and 2) So that I can find a consistent style and method to going about drawing things and people

And with this up running year (I count years by art fight years) my main focus is expanding my designs to things I dont usually draw (I specialize in pretty boys, so I gotta expand out to different age groups, more traditional masc characters, remember how to draw women etc) and to actually drawing backgrounds / sceneries

And I just got done drawing my first somewhat old man in a while and not only is he old and more of a not-twink faced dude, but he actually has a beard and Im like huh. This is really out of my 'preferred character design' but I'd like to think it is turning out well and I'm just like huh.

It's really neat how my skill has developed over time.

Anyways, sketch of the character below to enjoy this art log. Please excuse the lazy watermark. @feathery-creations is the art blog I never update.

[lilvirgoprince]

Robin, Aqualad and Artemis redesign from the Young Justice animated series! Im thinking about doing all of them also Artemis and Robin are a little messier bc I did them a couple months ago when I just finished my rewatch. Notes about each under the cut! 

Robin:  - first choice: I got rid of the toe shoes, Im sorry who thought it was a good idea to give him toe shoes?? I have him with shoes that elude more to an acrobat  - thats a general note too: I tried to keep the elements that felt acrobat-y and also the more “boyish” elements- like the short sleeves those are cute - overall the original look I didnt feel I needed to change much? I just wanted to make it look more sleek? I love the clunky gloves in the original though! also the cape!!   - weird choice but I removed the little R which didnt really have much purpose other then making things less crowded but I could probably put it back   - Im trans so I say hes trans, there isnt much I changed for that except I figured I’d shift to be an outfit that would make the body more masculine? basically thinking about what I think when Im getting dressed   - idk I also made the cape “sharper” or gave it more of a distinct cape? this is in part to contrast my Miss Martian redesign but also to allude to the bat of course    - his gloves still have the same function as they did before with being able to project his little screen thing bc that was cool!   - I gave him messier hair then I would’ve otherwise to give that contrast between Robin- Robin out of unifrom- and Dick Grayson (I have a Masks ttrpg character that is a Janus so that was just on my mind)   - gotta keep the mischievous grin (peter pan ass looking motherfucker) and the domino mask!  Aqualad:  - did yall know that electric eels dont have gills! yeah thought in his original design he is kind of supposed to have an eel vibe to it? I tried to lean into that more (also for eel facts I was like rapidly texting my roommate whose majoring in Ocean Science about how confusing and strange they are, he was helpful lol) - the eel shifts can be seen in the way I made his look more “stripe-y” (with the chest part) and adding in the blue to contrast  - he didnt have a mask before and I get that isnt too important but I thought giving him like a “paint” mask might be fun and look cool, SPEAKING OF PAINT... - with the eel choice I decided that it might be cool for his arm marking to be like electroconducive paint or whatever idk Im majoring in ecology not majoring in engineering or physics (im also looking at his original design and feeling like a dumbass for him no longer having eels on his hands :’()  - im mlm and so I think he should be mlm from the start, just a cool older gay for robin to look up too, that isnt important to his design but I think its important in my heart - I gave him shoes, I took on seminar on parasitology this semester and his bare feet just make me so worried about him getting an infection- they are shoes for swimming though! (or he can just pop them off if he wants to use his... toe fins- hes running around on land though he needs shoes)  - w/ the hair I get his atlantian but I know that giving a darker skinned character light eyes and hair to imply “magic” or whatever isn’t a great trope so I wanted to give him a different hair style but I also thought the idea that he bleached them just cause he wanted to might be cool. He also has brown eyes (whoops noticing I left the rest of the eye blue though)   - he gets little earrings  - I didnt like that he has the U shape as like a little belt so I decided to encorporate it into the rest of the outfit- his look is also based off a wet suit!!  - trying to think if Im forgetting anything.... OH I gave him a swimmers body too!! so broader shoulders from swimming!!  Artemis:  - like Aqualad she bleaches her hair too, I like to think she does it in like a rebellious teen way? idk maybe her and Aqualad can bond by them doing it together  - I took away the completely low wasted pants... idk they just felt a little weird if that makes sense...   - I also made her top more of a sports bra, then instead of just slapping and arrow on there I made it apart of the top  - her old mask lowkey felt strange to me??? I was talking w a friend and she pointed at that it feels like a cheesy bank robber mask? (like ski cap with holes) which maybe was intentional to like... ellude to her family and that “untrustwothy”ness??? idk I decided to make it cover her mouth instead to lean into that- it also connected to how both Cheshire and Sportsmaster have full face masks (I havent finished my KF and SB redesign but I dont think theyll have masks that cover the mouths so it singles her out)  - also the part of her mask that pulls her hair back is now like traditional art of the Goddess Artemis which I feel was under utilized in her original design? thats also why I gave her a cool braid instead of a pony tail! (I also feel like its a little more practical idk does it make her seem horse girl-ish)- I also made her boots distantly resemble thoughs  -shes also trans, bc like Robin I say she is- also it’d be funny for her and robin to bond over being “the team non-metahumans, who are both trans and both love Wally West”   - On that note thought I tried to make her look different from Robin and I also gave her nice abs bc she has cropped clothing which nicely show it off  - body type wise shes a little lean and lanky  - I got rid of her weird belt replacing it with a belt that repeats the overall triangle/arrow motif repeating throughout her fit    - gloves function as those little arm guard things you have if you are doing archery- I tried to make those look more functioning also cooler bc they kind of just gave me a strange vibe in the original  I think thats all I have! idk I feel like this might flop but TBH Im having alot of fun w it and Ive been talking to an old friend whose watching it for the first time which makes me really happy! Also these arent to say the original designs are bad I just wanted to take my own crack at reworking them!- OH wait- heres my height chart for these three, Aqualad and Artemis are the same height around 5′10″-6′0″ and robin is around 5′3″-5′5″ he was originally taller then I looked at my line up and was like “shoot everyone is too tall” so I adjusted him so I could bump down Meghan, Wally, and Zantanna a little without making everyone too short (if that makes sense) 

[anony-mouse-writer]

well if netflix is allowed to give us a crappy washed out edgelord version of winx, then im allowed to post my weird worldbuilding takes on winx club that ive been making for the last year and a half since i rewatched the show. (also i watched the 4kids version so apologies about the names)

general worldbuilding: the three schools of magix are there to train the defenders of the realms.

red fountain trains paladins and knights to protect the kingdoms and their people.

alfea trains magic users to protect the magic of the realms with a concentration on personal transformation and growth.

cloud tower trains magic users to protect the realms themsleves with a concentration on study and magical artificery. because of the rogue witches who tried to steal the dragonfire, there has been a certain amount of tension between the witches and everyone else for a few decades.

bloom: is slightly... odd growing up. sometimes her eyes glow and her base temp is a few degrees higher than is strictly healthy and she is drawn to warm spaces like lizards or cats. her mom invests in a greenhouse extension for her flowershop and no one comments on the hammock bloom strings up to sleep in. she says she’s never picked any major or job in the future because she’s okay where she is at the flower shop, but really its because she feels like shes missing something important and can’t figure it out. it doesn’t go away completely when she gets alfea either, but when she finally gets to sparks/domino, she realizes its because she is carrying the embodiment of an entire realm’s magic in her and that kinda messes up your magic a bit.

stella: solaria has several branches of royalty, but they are mainly split into the three solar courts and the lunar and stellar courts. her father is the king of the first solar courts and her mother is the queen of the lunar court. after their divorce, stella spent far more time dealing with courtly intrigue than she did practicing magic and she ends up getting held back a year at alfea due to missing several fundamental lessons. she tends to be more concerned with official standing and presentation than power or magics, but her alfea/red fountain friends are helping to teach her how normal non-manipulative friendships work.

shes sort of friends with prince skye and squire brandon and when they were kids they came up with a half-cocked plan where she married skye and dated brandon in secret and skye could fall in love with whoever he wanted and then they would be stella’s attendent so it was all covert. it was not a great plan, but it did involve several awkward third-wheeling dates on skye’s behalf and he has so much friendly blackmail in the two of them.

tecna: tecna comes from a planet where instinctual magic is a dying art. if anything, most magic users end up at cloud tower to study artificery, but tecna is determined to learn about raw magic and its applications in magi-tech. magi-tech is different from artificery because artifacts are meant to be used by magic users usually for magical or combative purposes whereas magi-tech is mean to be used by anyone for everyday applications (ie scanners, holograms, etc)

tecna’s species dosn’t have innate genders, but instead pick their gender presentations as they grow older (if at all). tecna picks female so she can attend alfea, but eventually realizes that female feels right and starts to wear less androgynous outfits on ocassion.

musa: musa’s mom used classical instruments (chinese classical, not western) and her dad used a lot more contemporary styles and tools, but together, they produced beautiful music. when her mom died, her dad grew to resent the classical instruments that reminded him of her and musa grew up with only contemporary influences. musa meets galitea (the other fairy from harmonix) in her second year of school and they have long discussions (and eventually jam sessions about musa’s inexperience with any classical or traditional instruments. musa starts to learn the flute and a few of the instruments her mom left her in secret and only tells her dad about it during the concert where she performs with them for the first time. she goes on to make fusion classical/contemporary music.

musa still has an arc with riven, but after season 1 when they break up, she spends season 2 out of any romantic relationships and season 3 realizes she has feelings for galitea. im still not sure if i want her coming to terms with her bisexuality to be tied to her coming to terms with classical music or not.

flora: floras people can talk to plants. this makes eating plants awkward. ergo, floras people are obligate carnivores who also gain energy via photosynthesis. flora is a scientist first and foremost. she studies and wants to develop new ways for plants to thrive in foreign environments without becoming invasive species and is working with both magi-tech and pure magic to find ways for people to get the most out of plants for various medicinal and magical purposes without causing any harm to the plants.

she also works on humanoid-floral communications and spends a lot of time with pumpkin-mytra and later human-myrta learning to break curses which was not her original plan but it was Very Important and so she learned it and ten it was kinda fun so she stuck with it.

layla/aisha: her parents traditional views and ideas are important to them and to ruling tides. aisha has little choice but to accept them and has no outlet for her true self for a long time, leading to some heavy suppression and anxiety. when she gets to meet the pixies, she makes friends for the first time and they teach her a bit about being herself. she still has struggles with expressing her true feelings and swings between respecting her kingdom’s traditions and resenting them for making her be someone she’s not for so long. as she develops as a person and a fairy, she learns eventually to reconcile the two in a way that might not please her parents entirely, but allows for growth and tradition both. she gets along weirdly well with stella who helps her on this journey a lot.

aisha also spends time with fairies and red fountainers (and later possibly even some witches) coming up with better communication lines and various protections for magical creatures who don’t necessarily have specific realms (ie the pixies) since they lack any kind of protection from larger threats besides their own.

other characters:

daphne is a from the fairy school of magic so her job was to protect the magic of sparks/domino when the rogue witches attacked, so she stuffed it (aka the dragonfire) into the crown princess and hid her on a null planet so the coven couldnt find it.

myrta not only moves from the witches school of magics to the fairy school of magics, but she is trans. she gets an arc where flora and later helia help her to figure out her powers and also how to be comfortable as her own person outside of her friendships with lucy or even flora.

riven is a good fighter but a better mage. he wants to best his peers in fighting, and hates that he feels he call of magic pretty strongly. darcy takes advantage of this and encourages him to abandon his magic while draining him of his power. when he is chased from cloud tower and falls, he uses his skills in tandem with a bit of magic to survive. he remains wary of his powers, but eventually learns to accept them and learns to be a mage and a fighter which is Simply Not Done, but honestly at this point riven is done listening to everyone else so he does what he wants and becomes great at both.

the trix spend season one pretending to be regular witches. they play up the ‘mean girls’ routine and spend a lot of time stirring chaos and malcontent at cloud tower. when they finally give up the pretense and try to take the dragon fire for real, they lose a bit of the mean girls vibe and work towards the rogue witch coven’s goal of stealing the magic of various realms. their work in cloud tower does not dissapear and there is a time where a lot of witches have to unlearn a lot of toxic behavior and it sucks a lot.

[mine-curse]

Oohh im vauging, if it makes it better please feel free to discuss this with me. I didnt really feel right talking to any person directly about this because its an amalgamation of points. I will talk about the value of "outsider art" and/vs traditional narrative conventions all day.

Discussions of the utility of veiwing the dsmp throught hero/villan paradigms, fandom critical, im a little bit mean about ctommy (and fans) again. Most of the valuable points will hopefully be canabilized into a later better essay:

If having a literary interpretation of the dsmp story means flattening out the characters to villian and hero roles and picking one pov to be the hero at the expense of the nuance present in other povs........ Well that just sounds like no fun at all. And also not really what i would think of as literary but litterally who gives a shit about academic literary convetions, not me thats for fucking sure

Sorry i just. Dsmp is an unconventional storyline, told in an unconventional way that has actually gotten popular in a way that could facilitate understanding of the unique elements of its storytelling. Its a fun chance that doesnt come around too often so it rattles my chains when i see "x character is a villain" or even worse "x character is obviously a/the hero". They're all just dudes trying to do their things, and i absoluty get not having a full perspective and thats inevitably going to cause holes in peoples understanding. But like... claiming a specific perspective as a sort of default as would be implied by saying "tommy is obviously the protagonist" just feels like missing a big part of what makes the dsmp unique, to gain, something? i guess, im not sure. I havent actually seen a convincing anylisis of whatnwould be gained by veiwing ctommy as the protagonist.

See. From my personal perspective c!wilbur could be read as much as a "villian" as cdream. Like cwilbur from day one. I personally do not veiw the founding of lmanburg as a moral good or even a real practical nessecity. cWilbur did see it as a good thing. But hurt and traumatized a lot of people carrying out his dream. And the character that i would veiw as my "main", cTechnoblade would probably agree. And i have about as much sympathy for c!sclatt as i do for either c!dream or c!wilbur (maybe more), which is to say, some, some sympathy. I think there is sufficient justification to make the claim that any and all characters are antagonists. Both in some kind of "moral sense" and in a story utility sense, given that you can veiw most characters as pov characters.

And i just dont think a c!tommy centric reading is as self-justifying as people seem to claim. Like im serious. What is the justification?

That all the plotlines revolve or at least involve him? They really really dont. The syndicate, las nevadas, most of the egg plot, awesamdude and ponk's tragic relationship, i could keep going. Like. It just makes so much more sense to veiw the dsmp as a tapestry of lives, interacting and effecting each other (i swear I'll write the Shandification essay someday....) But all of them have their own motivations and shit going on, including c!dream.

That hes a moral center? I... no. Hes not. cTommy has had a hard time, but hes done and said some fucked shit, to techno, to tubbo, to jack. Like. Everyone has done some bad shit and also had a fucked up time. And similar to c!wilbur, I as a reader don't really vibe with his moral values as theyve been presented. I find him understandable and sympathetic, i understand why he feels how he does, but i can say that about almost every character, including ones that are often considered to be "obviously villans"

I dont even want to entertain the "streaming numbers" train of thought

Like, its media, and you can veiw it as you like. For me, i would present my "Shandified" version as more fun, because im at a point where i value media experiences that are unique and "personal" in some way. The kind of shit you get when you break/expand narrative conventions, when you explore new mediums, when you give platforms to relativly inexperienced but passionate creators, when you create a story that facilitates this type of creative and interpretive fandom engagement. If you value other things, cool. I am personally not into veiwing the dsmp narrative through tradional genre conventions or some kind of purely academic means. Especailly as a means to support my fav dude. I wish you the best in your anylisis of ctommy's hero journey against the big bad dream. Its just not something i, and many others are going to be that interested in.

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[bard-llama]

WiP List

This is gonna be looooong (like, REALLY long), so I’mma go ahead and give you a cut here. But if you’re interested in what i’m working on, take a look!

Order purely based on the order my tabs are in. I’m only counting WiPs that actually have more than a paragraph written, because if I didn’t, this list would be even longer. Also, pls don’t judge me but what I name my WiPs 😂

Post-Coital Smoke

Kinda what it sounds like tbh. I just wanted Iorveth getting high and admiring Roche’s body and then Roche decided to be a tease. At some point, I assume there will be sex.

Angst: Sex object Roche

Iorveth’s POV of realizing that Roche hurts himself whenever he flirts at Iorveth. Premise is that Roche has been groomed (intentionally or not) by Foltest to be his. So when he feels attraction towards Iorveth, he needs to be punished. And obviously Iorveth helps him learn that no, that’s not okay and idk recovery???

Midwinter Feast

This idea was 100% spawned by me trying to write holiday fics, but Foltest hosts a Midwinter Feast where they close the city for 12 days, leaving Roche to get along with the Nonhuman/Scoia’tael(ish) delegation during that time. Also, Foltest might be using the feast as a delaying tactic to resupply his army. I legit have no idea where this is going, I just thought the idea of Roche and Iorveth stuck at a feast for 12 days was funny.

Solstice Feast aka To Birth a Verdant Future

This was actually an xmas gift for @lutes-and-dandelions, but I havent finished it yet 😓 But the premise is similar to the former in that it’s another solstice feast. But it’s set post-W3 with Emhyr as Emperor throwing a party in the new conquered capital of Vizima. Roche broods a lot about Foltest’s memory and how he hates Emhyr and decides to distract himself by hanging out with Iorveth and suggesting they follow an old elven tradition. And that’s all I’ll say. XD

Next Year (Solstice Feast sequel)

Literally set the next year. This time they merge their lives by merging their people’s traditions.

Lily Preserved in Amber

Okay, haven’t gotten very far in this, but I decided it was an elven rite of passage to go searching through the forest for a sign of your future. And Iorveth finds a piece of amber with a lily preserved inside. I haven’t decided if it purely means Roche or if it means his whole family with Roche and Boussy and Anais and all. So far, he hasn’t even found the amber yet lmao. But he did just discover music!

Character taking control of the other and Character B just letting go and enjoying themselves

Under the subheading “Porn Snips”, so uh, yeah. Starts with Roche and Iorveth fighting to decide who gets to top, involves Roche getting choked, and Iorveth ripping Roche’s pants off. Oh, also, they’re currently at a fancy party hiding somewhere in the garden lmao

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art

Moonlight’s working on an adorable piece where Roche leans his forehead against Iorveth’s back between his shoulderblades. I decided to make it post-W3 with both of them working as paper pushers/administrators under Emhyr’s Temeria. And Nilfgaard does not believe in chairs with backs (or, really, Emhyr wanted to see how long Roche’s pride would make him suffer. It’s a long time). The idea is to show development over time as they slowly get more comfortable with touch and start using each other as backrests. And then the sweet scene Moonlight is drawing.

Eliza for @useless-empty-brain aka Can’t We All Just Get Oolong?

Next is Iorveth’s POV, but I legit cannot figure out where to start. But we’re gonna see some of his thoughts (like how Eliza volunteered him to stay in Vizima for an unspecified period of time and he said yes even though he can’t and now has to commute regularly because he doesn’t want to miss tea with Roche but also doesn’t want Roche’s spies to catch on lmao) and his curiosity about Roche and Foltest and what Roche’s mission is (which I... totally know.)

Roche’s Scars

@moonlights-ordinance sent me a great pic of a mod for Roche where he had some pretty vicious scarring/mutilation. So of course I decided I needed to tell the story of each one. But really, it’s a story about the stages of acceptance with scars. Both Iorveth and Roche start out hiding theirs, but eventually come to reveal them comfortably in public.

Vernon Roche of the Scoia’tael aka The Value of a Man

Does my title give it away? Oops? So, this is a found family fic where Roche is captured by the Scoia’tael and the elves and dwarves slowly come to see him as - well, I was gonna say human, but as a person, I guess. And start feeling really, really guilty, especially when some not great things happen to Roche. 

Oh also, Foltest is a giant dick and uh, SPOILERS he does not try to get Roche back. Which leads to a whole subplot that will end with a found family for EVERYONE, because they all deserve to be happy dammit.

All of that was just one document lmao. I have 24 documents, some of which have quite a few WiPs in them. 😱

Kiss Prompts

24. Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer. AKA How to Fluster an Elf

When I got the idea for How to Fluster an Elf, I decided it was gonna fill the prompt dammit. And then it really, really expanded on me.

33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Roche dreams occasionally that Iorveth visits him and watches over him and sometimes speaks, but he can’t understand Elder Speech, so he assumes it’s all gibberish.

Then he finds out it’s not and suddenly he’s not so certain it’s a dream

16. One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Okay, I literally just need to buckle down and write some good kissing. This is set in (Im)Perfect Strangers and Iorveth is pouting about them leaving the gardens, so Roche makes it up to him.

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

This one won’t actually be published with the kisses ‘cause it’s porn and the rest are T-rated lol. Buuuut Roche and Iorveth are trying to have a secret liaison in the forest when the rain starts. Featuring nature magic, tentacles, and Iorveth getting filled.

Scenes from Another World (aka AU premise)

Old Men in Vergen

Set during Witcher 3, but with an established relationship. Roche comes to visit Iorveth in Vergen to ask for advice on leading an insurgency. Iorveth just wants to feed Roche while he can now that he’s not the one starving in the woods.

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil

I wanted to write Gaunter! So I decided that Gaunter is in a mood for some mischief (he calls it being generous) and comes upon a traveling Vernon Roche who wishes that he could be understand Iorveth. Then Iorveth’s Scoia’tael find a passed out Roche in the woods and bring him to Iorveth for judgement. Only somehow, Roche only understands Elder Speech now. He can’t understand Common at all. The Scoia’tael find this very offensive and Iorveth is mostly freaked out that someone who can do THAT was wandering around his forest.

Bunk Beds: The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon

Based on a silly comic, Ciri convinces Iorveth and Roche to try to help her destroy the portrait. Geralt gets pissed and sends them to Bunk Bed Exile. Shenanigans ensue and somehow they start to get along.

Iorveth’s Scoia’tael Giving Him Shit For His Taste in Men aka The Lovestruck Fox

Right now, working on a piece from the POV of a new Scoia’tael recruit who is discovering that Iorveth’s Scoia’tael roast the fuck out of him over his crush on Roche. 

Speaking of, anyone have suggestions on prime roast material? I am not this creative.

Let’s Torture Roche!

No, really. This one is pretty dark. And told in kind of a different style than my usual, because I felt like it. So, premise is that Iorveth and Roche were a thing in the past, but then Roche was recalled to Foltest’s side and he went. So Iorveth is understandably pretty hurt and pissed (this was decided for a prompt of someone breaking down as soon as they’re behind closed doors). Buuut what he doesn’t know is that Roche is not with Foltest of his own volition. Hostages, blackmail, and torture are all involved and Foltest is a pretty horrible guy. But of course we need a happy ending, so eventually, Iorveth will rescue Roche and they get to recover together.

Life Debt aka Iorveth is an Asshole

The concept for this was that Roche saved Iorveth’s life and now that they were no longer enemies (set during Witcher 3), his honor demands that he follow Roche around until he can repay the favor. Featuring Iorveth being a trolling asshole, correcting the new Temerian Loyalist’s fighting abilities, and Roche being very, very tired. 

In application, it’s mostly angst so far, ‘cause I had to set up HOW Roche saved Iorveth’s life. And then I decided to really hurt Iorveth. But tbh I will probably skip ahead after establishing this stuff, because I just want shenanigans.

King and Country

I’ve got several WiPs for this one, including the Stripes’ recruitment, their decision to change sides, the Stripes being double agents, and of course, Iorveth and Roche’s developing relationship. But hey, I’ve skipped ahead to writing their wedding already, so... you know it ends happily ever after?

Friday Fight Night for Jan 29 (which I did not make oops)

So, this actually turned into a long piece that’s gonna be part of my Chronic Pain series. Basically, King Foltest is treating with the leaders of the Scoia’tael in Temeria and Iorveth is one of them. Unfortunately, he’s having a REALLY BAD pain day, but he’s also determined to be there to represent his people. Roche helps him see sense. Possibly forcefully.

Exhaustion Prompts

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

Iorveth and Roche are trapped in a dream and I got a little stuck creating the creature that trapped them there. But pretty sure Saskia is gonna interrupt their flirting by saving them.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

In which Roche has a heart attack from too much coffee. Yeah. He’s okay, though! But PT is about to blow a gasket and coffee will very much be disallowed.

Found Family Prompts

Taking Out the Trash for @useless-empty-brain

Literally a story about taking out the trash lmao. We’re gonna see if I can make this intersting.

Touch Starved for @mochii-girl

Honestly, haven’t gotten much done on this yet, but I’m thinking puppy pile cuddles in Corvo Bianco

Coffeeshop AU aka Brewing Romance and Dissent

Ooof I’ve got a lot of bits and pieces of this written, but nothing quite finished, except for the moment when things change from “we flirt as I order coffee” to “I make you special drinks and invite you to come visit me after hours”. Writing a canon coffeeshop au when I know shit all about coffee is HARD.

Curse Breaking

Omg this is one of the first WiPs I started for Iorveth/Roche, no joke. STILL WORKING ON IT! The premise is that Roche finds a feverish and dying Iorveth in an empty Scoia’tael camp, saves him with the power of True Love’s Kiss The Power of Strong Emotions, Like That Which You Might Have For Your Enemy. Then they team up to go save Iorveth’s Scoia’tael from a big bad mage and Roche invites Triss along for the ride, which totally doesn’t make Iorveth jealous. I kinda stalled out at the part where they reach the mage’s hideout and see the results of the mages failed experiments. On Iorveth’s people. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But afterwards, there might be makeouts. And some sort of implication that they’re all down to do this (minus the horrible, traumatic parts) again.

Roche POV bloodplay

Roche’s POV starting from before his first encounter with Iorveth. Then he has a weirdly sexually arousing encounter with the elf, and tbh, that’s as far as I got. But Iorveth draws blood from Roche’s neck, presses his thumb to it, and then licks it off his thumb. Next, Iorveth was gonna be the one getting Uncomfortably Aroused, but I haven’t gotten that far. No idea where this is going overall.

Iorveth Investigates Roche

This kinda isn’t a real WiP in that idk if I’ll ever finish it. I mostly started it to do some worldbuilding about what public information there would be about Roche. 

Voyeurism AKA Eye on You

Yeah, I don’t have much for the next chapter yet, tbh. So premise is that Iorveth accidentally ends up watching Roche get off at the brothel and finds it really, really hot. Hot enough to get curious and go back for more. Next one is going to involve thigh fucking and Iorveth might possibly get pegged by Daph??? idk

Fake Relationship

Poor @lutes-and-dandelions has been waiting forever for this one and I can’t even find a place to end the scene and post what I have so far. Premise is that Iorveth and Roche are both investigating their missing men and the trail takes them to the Murivel Resort for Couples. So they go undercover. Featuring Roche’s POV of being doubtful, Iorveth using the excuse to flirt outrageously, strip gwent, and a magic amulet that hids Iorveth’s scar and that Roche hates.

Competitive Makeouts AKA The Chase

This was kissing practice and it turned into a casefic! Which is awesome because I love casefics even though I haven’t published any yet. So in this one, as Iorveth and Roche sneak off to makeout, they also end up investigating a conspiracy in the Temerian military. 

Iorveth/Roche(/Kayran) + Roche/Foltest aka Every Kiss Begins with Kayran

In which Roche accidentally walks in on Iorveth’s monthly fuck date with the Kayran and gets invited to join in. Then, somehow,  it starts to turn into a relationship. With an elf and a tentacle monster. And yet, somehow, this relationship is healthier than the one with Foltest. The contrast opens Roche’s eyes.

Pining and Poignards

In which Iorveth stabs Roche with his favorite knife and wants it back and is also maybe pining a lil bit. Meanwhile Roche is rather pissed, but also curious and begins to teach himself Elder Speech to try to read the inscription on Iorveth’s knife. I stalled out in the scene where Iorveth accidentally watches Roche masturbate in the bath.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche

Look, it’s what it says on the tin. Roche’s POV of Iorveth’s fascination with his chest and how it makes him feel and then there is sex.

Dirty Gremlin Man

Iorveth gets off on Roche being a sweaty, stinky human. Roche pins Iorveth in a fight and Iorveth gets very distracted watching a drop of sweat trail down Roche’s face. So distracted, in fact, that he doesn’t think twice before stretching out his neck and licking it. Then, of course, he remembers where he is. Featuring a very confused Roche, a smidge of jealousy, and Iorveth stealing Roche’s sweaty clothing to do unspeakable things to it. And somehow they get together.

Want me to sit in your lap?

Geralt LEGIT says this to Roche like 5 mins into the Witcher 2 and it’s GREAT. So of course, I had to write a scene where he actually got to. This is set post Witcher 2 while Geralt, Triss, Roche, and Ves are headed back to Temeria. Triss offers Geralt a little stress relief - which involves warming Roche’s cock and watching Triss and Ves get to know one another.

Red is the Rose

So, Chapter 4 is set post-Witcher 2 and Iorveth is obsessing over the fact that the Rose of Remembrance still has not wilted. He wonders what might be possible, so when he hears a rumor that a certain Temerian Commander was taken captive by Dethmold...

Dethmold most definitely dies. But unfortunately, that doesn’t save Roche from the curses he cast. So they go looking for Geralt to find out how to fix it.

This has only been 9 of my documents, y’all. I think I have a problem.

De-Aged Fic aka The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Ugh, I lost my momentum on this one, which sucks, ‘cause the next chapter is so close to done. Iorveth just needs to do a little freaking out first. But then they will both be back to adults and have to DEAL with the fact that they made good friends and would kinda like that again. I think this fic is gonna be purely friendship for them, but they’re gonna get there.

Glory Hole

A fic for the @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo where Roche hears a rumor that some Scoia’tael go to this brothel on the outskirts of town and hey, he may as well check it out, right? By going undercover and working the glory hole, of course. He never ACTUALLY expected Iorveth would come, but his legendary mouth was enticing enough to draw the Scoia’tael commander out.

Snuggling

Thirteen “accidentally” handcuffs Iorveth and Roche together when they capture Iorveth. This leads to them lying on the cot in the Stripes’ holding cell, spooning. There is banter and tickling and escapes not attempted and also maybe some sex with Inexperience Iorveth (i say maybe because I already started the sex, but idk if it will fit in). 

Petals and Stripes

A weed is but an unloved flower

Okay, the Stripes are going to attempt to woo Iorveth during a battle. Also, there is a stabbing. And then a kidnapping. And then, miracle of miracles, someone actually tries talking!

One person's weed is another person's wildflower

Ves’s POV! She cleans up the mess her idiots make and terrifies the life out of one elven suitor, but first she’s gotta deal with her own conflicted feelings about her Boss, the guy she relies on to show her the shades of grey in the world, loving the elf she’s supposed to kill. 

After that, I’ve got 2 more fics planned in this ‘verse. One is gonna be a fluffy and/or sexy date after Iorveth and Roche have gotten together. The other is a Scoia’tael side story, featuring lots of gossip about the humans sending their Commander love letters.

Love Shack

The Better Part of Valor

Ugh, I’m stuck on the sex again. Roche is having a really shitty day, so he goes to the cabin and signals Iorveth that he wants a round. Iorveth offers gentle (for them) sex and praise. And at the end, there’s a very significant scene where Iorveth removes his bandana. Roche buries his fingers in Iorveth’s hair, but doesn’t actually see his face, as he’s laying on his stomach with Iorveth on top of him.

Medicine

The morning after! Roche wakes up to find Iorveth in the bath, facing away from him, and notices a new scar. Iorveth has to deal with actually revealing his scars in daylight and they discuss the significant differences in elven and human medicine. Hint: I turned my own medical procedures into elven medicine, so it’s pretty fucking good.

PWP Ovi

Set ambiguously late, maybe after Thou Art More Lovely and More Temperate. Iorveth and Roche explore what Roche can take. We start with overstimulation, go into consensual somnophilia, come inflation, breeding kink, and oviposition. Because elves reproduce by laying eggs, which is not at all the case purely because I started this WiP ages ago and was horny.

The Picture Says It All

There’s going to be 5 more pictures that Rinn draws for Iorveth. Next is Roche hard at work, hunched over a desk. Then we’re getting some shirtless Roche, for “research”, of course. Then Roche cuddling with PT and the rest of the team, about which Iorveth is not at all jealous. Then a face study of Roche during a fight and uh, Iorveth is uncomfortably turned on. And finally, a drawing of their cabin with a silhouette in the window. She knows.

Roche & Rinn: The Haunting of Barrack 8B

Oh man, I really want to finish the next chapter, because I already have the one after that done. But first, we get introduced to Adda! This ‘verse is going to feature Adda the White a lot more than any of my others have done so far and I’m very excited. Also, Silas continues to be terrified of the ghost and the ghost and Adda become girlfriends buddies.

Roche builds Iorveth a home

Set late in the ‘verse, after Roche knows his feelings, but they haven’t said them yet (not out loud, anyway). Iorveth takes a trip to go meet Saskia do things off screen and Roche ends up turning to his old hobby, carpentry, to keep himself from pining too obviously. So obviously he ends up builing Iorveth a solarium. And a pillow nest. And a scaffold so that flowers that blossom in the moonlight cover the glass and give them privacy.

I got stuck here because Rinn needs to give Roche a hint to get him to build the pillow nest, but I hadn’t developed Rinn and Roche’s relationship yet, so had to go back and do that. But eventually Iorveth returns and they have wonderful I’m-not-saying-it-but-i-love-you sex in the new pillow nest.

Foltest (WiP): Long Live the King

This is actually the last fic in the ‘verse, so I don’t want to give too much away. But actually, I haven’t figured out what the next chapter is, BUT I have the chapter after that started and it is GOOD, just you wait!! I’m very excited.

Don’t Cry For Me, Temeria

This ‘verse alone, I have 14 WiPs and a dozen more unwritten ideas.

(Im)Perfect Strangers

I am frustratingly stuck on this chapter. Theoreatically, we are going to have a check in on how the mountain and the rest of our cast is doing and then Roche launches his Wooing TM plan (aka dinner, gift, and dancing).

Between Two Fools

Yeah, Roche and Iorveth have very different understandings of what their gifts represent. There is some soft happiness and then a swift rug pulled out from under Iorveth’s feet, I’m afraid. BUT we are almost to the part where the two idiots sit down and actually talk properly.

Unlucky Number Thirteen

Not only do I have more of Thirteen’s story planned, but I have ideas for ALL the Stripes to have stories. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, Thirteen starts spying for Roche. A lot of still-nebulous stuff happens, including Thirteen’s first time, for which he asks Roche to help. Additionally, once we reach the (Im)Perfect Strangers timeline, Thirteen has a special story all his own. It involves learning to read and a secret I shall not yet reveal.

Silas

Like I said, all the Stripes are hopefully getting stories. But Silas’s is coming along nicely. He starts a new life as “Silas”, as a man, and joins the army. Boot camp is rough and awful and he’s not very good at any of it, but one day, Roche comes looking for a recruit. He needs a codebreaker to decipher Thirteen’s scouting reports (another one for pictures). So Silas joins the Stripes, but he’s still terrified that they’ll fnd out and think he’s been lying to them. Fortunately, they’ll be putting his fears to rest.

Stripes Sex aka Earning Your Stripes: The First Time

PT’s POV! The Stripes (pre-Silas) are all still getting comfortable with each other as a team. But Thirteen has known Roche the longest and in a specific capacity. So one evening when he needs to get out of his head, Thirteen asks Roche to dom him. PT is confused and scandalized and then jealous, but he gets to join in soon too. Meanwhile, Finch and Ves have fun with their bratty arsonist and Fenn is loving it.

break (v /brāk/): to destroy someone's resistance

This is very long and entirely build up to porn. And then lots of porn. A question during a random conversation leads Roche to make Iorveth ask him to take Iorveth utterly apart in a consensual non-consent fantasy set when they were still enemies in the forest.

Bath House

This was supposed to be a simple PWP where Roche talks dirty to Iorveth under his breath while the two of them are at the bathhouse with Boussy (who LOVES baths and brought them to the fancy bath house), Anais, and Thirteen (who HATE baths and react to water much like a cat). They kinda took over the story and there has been no dirty talk yet oops.

Iorveth POV: Tutti

Iorveth begins to reclaim his love for music and lets himself improvise and compose again. And he ends up writing a song that is the story of his and Roche’s romance.

Daggers, Dumplings, and Dresses

The Elihal/Hattori side story! Though we haven’t actually met Hattori yet. So far, Elihal is expounding on his past and his relationship with Iorveth (he used to make all of Iorveth’s fancy gowns for concerts). Elihal and Hattori won’t play a HUGE role in (Im)Perfect Strangers, but they will be appearing!

Ves and Ciaran aka The First Rule of Fight Club

Ves is stuck walking a very long way back to Vergen with the memory of Ciaran’s skin against her teeth. And even though elves lie like breathing, she can’t help thinking about what he said about Roche not being worth her loyalty. Slowly, she begins to work some things out.

Sex with Saskia/Dragonfucking

Yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Iorveth tells Roche that Saskia agreed to a threesome and where to meet, but he neglected to mention the rather large dragon that was currently rimming his ass. Roche gets distracted from his confusion by the hotness and watches Iorveth get fucked by a dragon (with 2 dicks to fit 2 holes, of course).

Come Inflation + Piss Play

Um. Yeah, it’s a PWP where Roche asks Triss for a potion that will make him come a lot. And then Iorveth wants more. No idea where it’s going, tbh.

Stripes vs Scoia’tael: Water Balloon Fight

Literally a water balloon fight. For morale.

Baby Mama

Uh, the title is a bit telling here oops. But let’s just say Iorveth and Roche go on vacation to the cabin on top of the mountain again when Iorveth is hit with the sudden extreme urge to breed. Roche is down, but at some point, they do actually need to talk.

King Roche aka fics where Roche is in charge and hates it. Some are more in line with this than others.

Post W3 Becoming Terrorists Together

Ah yes, the murder husbands fic. Literally, Roche gets stuck leading Temeria under Emhyr’s orders and he’s good at it, but he HATES it. Enter Iorveth, who both points out security flaws, joins Roche for a surprisingly unawkward bath, and proposes that they go hunting down war criminals on their own time. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU

Different first meeting AU! In this one, Iorveth is sent as the elven ambassador to Temeria and it’s about as much fun as one might expect. Triss and Roche, the other outcasts amongst Temerian court, decide to befriend him. Well, try to anyway. idk where this is going, but it’s been fun. Also, Iorveth wears a fancy braid over his eye, because I said so. Also, I might be planning an OT3 porn scene at some point, because it turns out, elves are VERY sensitive to magic XD

Leap of Faith

Okay, yeah, this has nothing to do with King Roche, but it’s the doc I was working in when I got the idea. In this one, a mage captures Iorveth for Foltest and starts torturing him. Roche, without really thinking about it, decides the mage goes too far, so he kills them. Leaving him with an elven prisoner and a castle full of people who will consider him a traitor for that. They escape the city, but now Iorveth has gotta convince Roche that no, the King really won’t forget that whole murder and prisoner escape thing. 

The whole point of this fic was for me to write them jumping off a cliff lmao. When am I gonna get to that? Probably like last or second to last chapter, tbh. Which should be... after the next one? No, I lied, it’s next chapter! I need to get on that!

An ill-favour’d thing, sir, but mine own aka Possessive Sex

Piss Fic

Um. Yeah. Roche is really horny when Iorveth gets home and is on him immediately, which is great, but Iorveth has gotta piss. Which becomes less urgent as Roche is determined to have his face fucks, but after he comes all over Roche’s face, it’s VERY urgent and Roche is a fucking brat and won’t move out of the way. So obviously the response to this is to piss on Roche’s crotch - which Roche is apparently more than okay with.

Cum Dumpster Roche

Yeah, this one doesn’t have much yet, I literally just wanted Roche getting railed and claimed and L O V I N G it. 

Possessiveness

Iorveth spends a lot of time thinking about his enemy, his nemesis. He’s researched Roche extensively, spent hours thinking up tactics and strategies to outwit his nemesis. He literally knows what Roche named his stupid weapons, but he’s never actually met Roche.

But he’s dreamt about it. The Roche in reality doesn’t look like the assumptions he made in his dreams, but who cares about looks? Because Roche is his, and certainly not some dh’oine king’s.

Tentacles + Breeding

Gods, this one is SO CLOSE to being done dammit, I just gotta finish it!! But it’s a fun one. Iorveth and Roche are fighting, when Iorveth suddenly starts fighting plants, which are fighting back. Then the plants notice Roche and suddenly he’s tied up with vines and his clothes are getting torn off and uh, he’s not supposed to find this hot, is he? But he really kinda does. And then Iorveth goes and claims him and tries to protect him from a nearly-extinct non-sentient plant that sensed a warm spot to lay its eggs until someone else could come along and fertilize them. Iorveth is delighted to be that person.

Dream: Pleasure Slave

Yeah, Roche really likes getting claimed in these. In this one, he has a favorite dream setting where Iorveth rules some grand elven kingdom and Roche’s only role is to bring him pleasure. Not to deal with politics or nobles or policy, but just to make Iorveth feel good. So far, this features cock warming, come inflation, a leather cock cage (so to speak), prostate milking, and a very nice silver chalice that Iorveth expects Roche to fill before they’re done.

Roche wears a collar

This was gonna be a simple lil thing based on me creating Roche in heroforge and giving him a lil hidden collar. But then Iorveth decided to get really sappy and had to design and create the perfect collar for his enemy. And then, much to his surprise, he gets the opportunity to PUT his collar on Roche. Which is great, except the sight distracts him so much that Roche manages to escape.

But the next time they meet, Roche is still wearing that collar, hidden under his chaperon and armor. Iorveth has feelings about that.

Standalone

Crones fic aka And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill

So this is the angsty fic that started from a crack premise. Er, one of them. I seem to do that a lot. But in this one, Roche goes to the Ladies of the Woods and asks for his men back. The Ladies agree, in exchange for 6 lifetimes of service. But no creature can reverse death. Which leads to the Stripes coming back to “life” as ghosts - only Roche is the only one who can see them. Ves can’t (not at first). 

Believe it or not, the whole idea behind this was the Stripes roasting Roche as he tries to flirt (terribly) with Iorveth. But uh... somehow it turned pretty dark. Like, it’ll have a happy ending for sure, but it’s gonna be a lot about processing trauma and grief and building families and also curing a plague, because that’s the first assignment from the Ladies.

Stripes fics

Cuddles with the Commander

This is intended to be a sequel to The Pride of Temeria, but I kinda got stuck figuring out exactly how Roche should react. Tbh, I don’t have much of this written yet, but the goal is for Roche to approve cuddles with everyone lmao.

Fire Breating

Okay, this one started as crack purely because I love fire, but it’s actually been really fun. So, Iorveth and Roche are established and Iorveth has been invited to a family night with the Stripes, which is kinda a lil awkward. So they decide to showcase some of their talents - which includes Roche singing musicals and PT breathing fire.

Iorveth is horrified that humans have harnessed this skill.

Iorveth’s missing eye

This is really short and idk if I’ll continue it, but the idea was for Roche to really wonder what was up with the bandana over half of Iorveth’s face was about. And then, of course, to find out.

Iorveth Gangbang

Why is this under Stripes fics, you might ask? Well, I have great news for you. Guess who the gang is?

In which Iorveth and Roche are in an established relationship and Iorveth gets tied up in the middle of the Stripes’ camp while Roche orders his men to take him apart. Iorveth very much enjoys himself, and then when the Stripes are tapped out, Roche shows ‘em how it’s done.

Kink Bingo fics aka that event that I totally failed, but hey, prompts are prompts.

Age Kink

In this fic, Iorveth and Roche both end up captured by unknown forces and end up imprisoned together. I think the Stripes and Scoia’tael are probably working together to find them and save them, but in the meantime, Iorveth and Roche decide to get to know each other a bit better. Featuring muscle spasms, blow jobs, and pain kink.

Eskel/Lambert (okay, a little out of place here, but eh, it’s in the doc and I am still working on it)

Started for a prompt on tumblr, Eskel and Lambert end up fighting and, trying to keep the peace, Eskel casts axii on Lambert. Which leads to Lambert confessing that he bit Eskel because it’s the only way he could get his mouth on him. This leads to some dodged confessions, some frottage, and some snarky banter, because of course it does. 

Tempt Not a Desperate Man aka the Fuck or Die series that started with Devour What’s Truly Yours

Fisting

The next part of the series, where Roche struggles with the fact that he’s been high key horny ever since the encounter in the woods with Iorveth and nothing is satisfying him. Iorveth, on the other hand, is jealous and annoyed that Roche keeps going to the whorehouse.

Then Roche decides to make a potentially suicidal move and enters the forest to try to find the clearing from last time. And, as you might guess from my heading, fisting will be happening. 

Iorveth POV: The Chaperon

Okay, I don’t actually have much of this written, but it’s really cute so - Roche keeps using his chaperon as a cum rag, so Iorveth knits and/or sews him a new one.

“Human Bootlicker”

PWP where Iorveth jokingly suggestions Roche should surrender on his knees - and then Roche does. And asks Iorveth to take his prize. Featuring Roche coming all over Iorveth’s boots from getting his face fucked, then leaning down and licking up the mess while Iorveth watches and then comes over his face.

One Accidental Proposal and Five Attempts At Accepting

So one of the themes of this ‘verse is gonna be the Elven Baths where the Roses of Remembrance grow. As in, they decide to make the elven baths a place they meet up. This is the first time Iorveth takes Roche there, and Roche does not know what significance the roses have. But he DOES know that Iorveth blushes cutely when he tucks a rose behind Iorveth’s ear, so...

Iorveth would like to accept, only Roche doesn’t know WHAT he’s trying to accept.

The Legend

So in the game, there is a legend around the statue of elven lovers above the elven baths. “Legend has it the lover’s sighs are enchanted within these very stones, though only those in love can hear them.” 

Iorveth overhears his Scoia’tael gossiping about the legend and comes to an abrupt realization that Roche and him were the ones they were hearing. Oops?

Standalone Fics

Letters

This is kind of a bittersweet WiP that I mostly wrote in one go and then went to sleep and kinda lost the will for it. BUT the premise is that post-Witcher 3 Roche is in charge of Temeria and his brooding is interrupted when he receives a letter sealed with a forget me not pressed into wax. Iorveth continues to send letters describing his life as a “civilian” in Nilfgaard and how much he hates it and Roche relates a little bit too much. Then Iorveth decides to run away and live on the streets as a musician and he might inspire Roche to start learning the cello and presumably at some point, they meet.

Identity Porn

Iorveth and Roche have a meet cute in Flotsam’s tavern while the elf is listening in for local gossip and Roche is passing through on his way to meet with the other northern kings to get support in fighting against the new emerging threat of the Scoia’tael. Neither knows who the other is, but that doesn’t stop them from starting a relationship where they meet every time Roche passes through Flotsam. But their house of cards can only last so long, and at some point, they will meet as enemies. Who knows what happens then? idk, not me.

Gwent pinup calendar aka Cards Out for Your Country

Hahaha, so I started this series in response to some WONDERFUL art of Roche with his Tits Out For Temeria. And obviously we need more of that, so I created a list of 24 characters who are asked to pose for some pinup art, all in the name of Gwent. So far, I’ve only finished Dandelion’s pose/the introduction, but I do plan to do as many of them as I physically can.

Gwent Game in Corvo Bianco

Wow, I didn’t even remember this WiP, so uh... clearly I haven’t worked on it in a while. But it’s Iorveth’s POV of how surprisingly comfortable he is in Corvo Bianco and Iorveth and Geralt get drunk and play gwent.

Zoltan/Jaskier/Priscilla

A giftfic for Wibbly that involves Zoltan being sappy about his bards and then Priscilla dominates them. Featuring all my headcanons about dwarven genitalia (two holes, one with a retractible dick).

Dijkstra fics

Noticing Roche’s Fucked Up Relationship

Anyone else randomly finding themselves shipping Dijkstra/Roche? No? Ah well. For this one Dijkstra observes Roche and sees a few too many reminders of himself with Vizimir, except Foltest is no Vizimir, and Roche clearly hasn’t learned to set up boundaries. Dijkstra feels weirdly compelled to help him figure that out before Foltest destroys him.

Developing Respect Fic

Also known as “let’s torture Roche 1.0!” This fic switches between the present, where Roche has woken up in a cell somewhere unknown and it brings back far too many memories for him to be entirely sure of what is happening when. In the past, he was captured by Redania while on a mission for Foltest, long before he was anyone notable. Dijkstra comes to visit, curious about this prisoner who refuses to break, to even tell them his name or confirm his country (but he has a Temerian tramp stamp, so they know lmao). So Dijkstra decides that this is not a man who will be broken through torture and decides to try conversation instead. The idea is to show them slowly gaining respect for each other, but like, obviously Roche is still a prisoner. Eventually, he’s returned to Temeria in a prisoner exchange, but meanwhile, in the present, Roche is all alone, with not even guards around and no way to free himself.

and that’s all!! I am... legitimately scared to count, tbh. This post is so fucking long, the number cannot be good for my heart. But, that said, please come talk to me about any ideas you find interesting!! Or anything you have questions about! 

And if you made it this far down the list... wow. Thank you, you rock.

[costellos]

tell me who you’d take on a date and where you would go! — CLOSED

@thisbloghasnoaesthetic​ asked: Id love to take Jotaro on a date. Just something chill. Like getting some good food. Or just sitting together doing nothing. I'd love to just read a book with my head on his shoulder. Just enjoying eachothers quiet comfort :)

omg that sounds like a great date for Jotaro! he definitely seems like the type to want a chill date. he’d probably opt for something that offers takeout if you’re referencing Part 3!Joot, somewhere a little nicer but just as casual if you’re referencing Part 4!Joot. and while you’re reading, you might just catch a teeny, tiny smile on his lips. but don’t say anything or you’ll ruin the moment 🤭💕

anonymous asked: i would wanna take kakyoin out to an indoor roller rink so we could rollerskate together 🥺 it’s one of the things i like to do most and i’d wanna skate around w him while holding hands! also cause he’s tall, i feel like it’d be hard for him to keep balance and prevent himself from falling lolll. but we could go out to an ice cream place nearby afterwards and watch the sun set (if the time is right) 💗

how cute!! sharing something you love with the one you love most... I dig it. Kakyoin would be soooo embarrassed, though! he just wants to impress you but his center of gravity is absolutely awful. rip. at the end of the day, however, he’d be so appreciative that you shared something so personal with him. ❤️ let him pay for the ice cream, it’s the least he can do!! and maybe hold your hand while you watch the sunset 🌅

@lavaicerinkk​ asked: I would ask mista, probably to like a concert or something like that. We'd probably go as homies, then when we get home id be like "what if we kissed haha" and hed be like 😳😳 ok, and then we live happily ever after

LMAAAAOOOOO. I feel like this is v in character for Mista.... he’d be caught so off guard by it! esp since he probably would’ve accepted that you were just friends. not that he’d say no, tho 👀 he’d just be like, “wait, for real?” and waste no time kissing you after you gave him permission. what a happy ending. 💕

@murcx04​ asked: Take someone on a date huh hmmmmm- Josuke is my bet HAHA Hed be so refreshing to be with óuò. And we'd go shopping kfbfjfn And that where- he'll just show his pleading eyes and want you to buy the shoes he wants oh boy-

I agree, he would be a very refreshing plus one! I think a shopping date would be v traditional with him. I’m imagining you both at the mall, where he cackles at all the weird sex stuff at Spencer’s and shares his food court soft pretzel with you. ��� he probably wouldn’t explicitly say that he wants new shoes, but he’d nudge you and be like, “hey. if you wanna know what to get me for my birthday...” and point to the Air Force 1′s on display. so subtle. 🙄

anonymous asked: tbh i think i'd like to take kira out to dinner and go on a walk. i know its a simple date but i think he's really neat and i don't really like big or flashy events and i don't think he would either kjfnksnjks. its just sumn that would suit both of us nice

ooo interesting choice, nonnie! I 100% agree with you on this one. Kira would probably take you to one of those restaurants that have private rooms. I think some ritzier places are like that? anyway, he’d want to focus this date all on you. no mindless chatter from other patrons, no screaming children — the more noise he can minimize, the better. and during your walk, I can see him allowing you to take the reins on the conversation. he just finds everything you say so fascinating! 🌷💗

@catnymous​ asked: I'd take Fugo first to just a simple lil cafe then to the park :3

Cat!! I missed you!! you should come into the askbox more often, I always enjoy your replies. in the meantime, Fugo probably overthinks a lot so this date would be casual enough for him to relax. he would probably opt for some coffee and a slice of cake that he can share with you 🍰❤️ and a stroll through the park would be the perfect way to walk off the calories! (plus when you get to a fountain he’ll probably make some corny wish about getting to spend more days with you like this a;sdfkjl)

anonymous asked: Idk if you’re familiar with part 7... but I would bring Johnny to the planetarium; it’s a place that I love, and bringing him to a place special to me would mean a lot, I think. I’d tell him all of my favorite things about space. And, it’s a little mushy, but I’d remind him that just because you can’t always see the stars doesn’t mean they’re not there; every one is special and the same is for people. And of course, it would be a fun day out to appreciate the beautiful things in the world

unfortunately, I’m not familiar with Part 7... :( but thank you so much for sharing nonetheless! this is such a heart-warming confession 💕 I wish there was more I could say; I love that you’d share all your favorite things about space, and how everything and everyone is special. 💫 such a beautiful confession. 

@serenityblaze44​ asked: I would take Bruno and/or Abbacchio to a conservatory or garden, maybe bring a picnic. Nothing too exciting, just time to relax and spend time together. Then go home for cuddles.

por que no los dos? ahaha nah I’m joking... unless 👀 no but for real, this sounds ideal for both of them! ❤️ they would both appreciate the time to unwind. I could see Abbacchio prepping all the food, while Bucciarati handles everything else (packing the blanket, utensils, alcohol, etc.). they’d probably opt for somewhere outside of Naples since it’s far too crowded in the city. afterwards, be prepared for a gr8 nap between two warm, loving boys!!

anonymous asked: I'd take Kakyoin on a date! I think it would be really fun to go somewhere like an amusement park or arcade so we could just kinda be stupid together and forget our problems. Id go on the Ferris wheel and try to kiss him at the top but he'd probably shake the cart the whole time to freak me out 😂😂 After everything he's gone through, he deserves to have a lot of fun and id love to see him smile 🥰😍

aw friend, this is such a sweet scenario! hopefully the Ferris wheel doesn’t give him too many bad memories of Death Thirteen though ope,, anyway, what a lovely way to forget about all the stuff he’s endured! he’d playfully challenge you to some arcade games (and I’m using “playfully” lightly here) and then destroy you. 🙄 but it’s okay, any tickets he gets will immediately go to a cute stuffed animal just for you 🧸

@hadesaedes​ asked: OOOH I’d have to go with either Yukako or Koichi (even tho i have like TWO hands either is fine). Yukako is a very passionate and strong lover which I LOVE cause im shy with affection so being bold with it is MWUAH. While Koichi is also passionate I like to think he enjoys more simple and low key dates which is my type of thing. Having to just bask in each other’s company without having to fill the silence is GREAT. THEY ARE BOTH GREAT!!! In this essay I will-

AHHH A+ CHOICES, FRIEND. Yukako and Koichi would spoil you so much!! they’d handle any date expenses (movie tickets, food, etc.) and would adore having any opportunity to hold your hand 😊 Yukako would probably be more physically affectionate; she’ll either have her hand on top of yours or her feet wrapped between yours when sitting. Koichi would opt for compliments, praising you on how cool and smart you are! wow, what a supportive pair 🤝

anonymous asked: It's very hard to choose, but I'd go on a date with Bruno. Idk I'm just very gay for him. He knows a lot of nice and fancy places in Naples, but since that's not really my world, I'd take him to a small coffee shop or something. Nothing fancy or expensive but still very enjoyable. Maybe some ice cream. Walking through the city and going to a restaurant in the evening. Maybe something fancy this time, or just a simple pizza

how lovely!! Bucciarati would honestly be open to try anything, but I think a small coffee shop would be v enjoyable for him. there’s so much you can learn about someone over a cup of joe. ☕ since he’s been living in / around Naples his whole life, he’d probably share some neat facts about the city while on your stroll! “the Amalfi Coast is best known for its limoncello liqueur. I know a great place to try it if you’re interested.” 🍋

@moloko-tyan​ asked: Hello, little bird💫sending you rays of love and positive energy! This new event is so much fun. Several hours I wondered with who I wanted to go out, ahah. And I think it would be Erina. She deserves to have fun especially after all those awful events in her life. We would go to atelier. We could go through fabrics to choose which fits the best. We would look at lovely laces, buttons, jewels and we would argue about models of dresses and evening gowns. I want her to feel safe🌻 thank u so much!

friend! I always get so excited when you pop into my askbox!! ty for participating 💕 Erina is such a great choice imo. and this is such a creative date! she’d have so much fun running her fingers over all the interesting fabrics. Erina would take the most beautiful dresses and hold them up against you, saying how lovely the color suits you. 👗 although she’d be too shy to try those dresses on herself, she would have so much fun spending the day with you!!

anonymous asked: I hope it's okay to send this (I honestly don't want you to get overwhelmed)! But if it's okay: I would love to take Fugo on a date! I love this boy with all my heart and I would love to travel with him to my country to a town next to the sea and give him a tour of its history (and visit the local art and history museums there)! And later grab some ice cream and walk along the seafront in the evening where there are less people and just enjoy the walk together as the sun sets. -Turtle Anon🐢

oooohh, Turtle Anon!! thank you for your concern. you’re all good, don’t worry! anywho, that’s a wonderful date for Fugo. he would have an absolute blast reading about all the art and history your country has to offer 🏛️ you might have to push him along though, he’s the type to absorb everything n really slow down when reading... but at the end of the day, as you’re walking along the beach, he’d thank you for sharing a part of yourself with him. he’d be so honored! ☀️

anonymous asked: tbh i'd love to take narancia on a super spontaneous date... only the date and time are set, the entire day is just going around town and doing whatever stupid fun random things,, eating street food and going into shops to try on random fits and running around laughing, mayhaps go to an arcade, or do some karaoke. and then wind down at like a mcdonalds late at night, tired but happy and satisfied.. hhh nara is v fun i just wanna hang out w him honestly 🤕😔🤕😔

yeeeess this is the perfect date for Narancia!! he loves spontaneous stuff like this. he’d have so much fun gorging himself on street food and playing around with weird fits. he’d probably put on the stupidest things he can find, like this. and if you go to karaoke, be ready to screech some absolute bangers. he will not take anything less than confident (yet bad), loud (yet joyous) singing. 🎤 n while he might be falling nodding off at the McDonald’s, he’d sleepily tell you how amazing the day was and how he wants to do this again 💕

@tomomi012​ asked: I'm going to share another ideal date idea, but with Kakyoin. I'd like us to go to one of those cat cafes in Japan. I mean, cats, coffee and a cute Japanese boy, is this heaven? and I would tell him: "Nori, today I am in heaven"

ofc, share all you want! omg... I love this idea..... Kakyoin would be so soft anytime a cat approaches him. he’d do a little “pspsps” and hold out his finger for them to smell. and once a cat actually nudges him, he’d just melt! he wouldn’t show it outwardly, but you can see it in how bright his eyes get. I think Kakyoin would be the type to either attract a ton of cats or cats hate him, there’s no in between. 😭❤️ both make for some gr8 scenarios, though! 

@pommmejuice​​ asked: for your post about taking a character on a date :,) i think i’d like to take abba to art museums/cultural centers ,, i’d love to talk to him about my culture and what life is like (if he’d be interested;; lol) n maybe afterwards while we get italian food he can talk to me about what italian culture is like, the parts that aren’t shown in the media 🥺 so uh a date where we’re both learning new things about each other hehe

n maybeeeee take fugo to a café where we can study together n talk about our favorite things in our lives/culture.... n maybe hold hands on the table and maybe stare into his eyes tenderly ... you know because he’s my BFF (Best Friend Forever) .. you know how best friends do.. 😳

ooo Ireeene I figured you’d say Abbacchio :3c but that’s such a cute date for him! ofc he’d be interested in learning more about you!! you wouldn’t see it, but every time you share something you that you love about your culture, Abbacchio’s gaze on you would be so loving... 💖 he adores that you’re sharing so personal with him (of all people!!). and he’d get a kick out of telling you misconceptions about Italy. don’t get him started on how much he hates the Mario Bros.

as for Fugo, he would react similarly. I could see him ask more questions about your culture, while Abbacchio lets you go on and on. he’s so interested in everything about you!! and the moment you hold his hand... wow... get ready to see some intense blushing... he wouldn’t pull away, but his attention would turn to something else and his stutter would be apparent. pull yourself together, Fugo! 😤

anonymous asked: I'd take Rohan on a date, I'm a lil gay for that trash man. Tbh, it would either be an amazing date or a total disaster. I think we'd plan something fun and relaxing, like going to an art gallery or seeing a movie, but we'd end up in an adventure because that's what keeps happening to Rohan for some reason. At the end of the day we'd go to a restaurant to put a normal ending to that strange day

HAHAHA omggg friend this is a pretty accurate description of Rohan’s life. I think he’d be really annoyed that the day ended up this way, but he’s glad that he got to spend it with someone he tolerates. 💕 Rohan would try to push past those feelings once you go to the restaurant. this date is still salvageable!! he might complain a lil, but ultimately, he’d try to focus on you and what you enjoyed 🥰

@xxbluejayxx​ asked: For the Jojo date thing, I'd take Abbacchio. Well not really picky about the kind of date, I feel a nice quiet one at home would be best. It could be a homemade dinner, a movie night, or both. When it comes down to it, for me anytime spent with someone I love is time well spent, and that is something I will willingly admit

this is such a peaceful date for Abbacchio! I agree, a quiet date at home would be best. 😊❤️ as I mentioned in other scenarios, he’d likely take over kitchen duties. no need to worry about anything, just tell him what you want and he’d whip it up for you! and when it comes time to watch the movie, he’d tell you to sit a lil closer to him... he’s not very good with verbalizing affection, but he loves when he can feel your skin against his.

anonymous asked: I reeally wanna take Polnareff on a date. He deserves it sooo much. He's such a handsome sweetie. Id turn on the charm for him for once, like he always does. I have a beautiful image in my head of an outdoor patio restaurant with hundreds of strings of lights. We both dress up and have a lovely meal under the stars and magical lights, and then our favorite song plays and we have a dance beneath the lights. I think it would be goofy and romantic, stepping on toes as we attempt to dance around 😍

ahhh Polnareff would be so flattered to have you flirt with him! he’d probably get a lil flustered since this is nicer than what he’s used to, but seeing you dressed to the nines would make make him go 🥵 likewise, he’d push himself through the situation by just focusing on you. and when you start dancing... wow!! he’d lose himself laughing and being absolutely miserable at showing his moves. but it doesn’t matter, because he’s here with you and everything is okay ⭐

@rat-makes-stuff asked: Ok so I would take Giorno back to my home state of Michigan. Mafia boss has got to be tired as hell, so what's better than walking through the woods and collecting rocks at Lake Huron (I'm biased that's my favorite lake no CAP). We would watch the sun set and then look at the stars when they come out. Wildflower picking, trying to see how many deer we can find, and picnics by the lake? Yes pleaseee

before I start, Tumblr wasn’t letting me tag you in this!! so I hope you still see my response :( anyway, this is such a relaxing date! Don Giorno would love to unwind in nature. he’d probably take some stones he found near Lake Huron and turn them into a bouquet of flowers for you! 💐and since he’s probably never seen the sky without light pollution, he’d be astonished at how beautiful the sky is. he wouldn’t be able to say anything, just pull you close to him and thank you for taking him out here 🌠

[taffystake]

So......Are you ready for the encore?

Taffy’s Take: Dark Nights Death Metal #1

Written by: Scott “Hallowed Be Thy Name” Snyder

Pencils by: Greg “Panikiller” Capullo

Inks by: Jonathan “Motorbreath” Glapion

Colors by: FCO “Fixxxer” Plascencia

So....it has all finally come to this. The finale. The ultimatum in a long saga of stories that started in the original Dark Nights, began showing its hand in No Justice, and was fully fleshed out with Snyder’s Justice League run. And it opens with a resounding boom that rivets your attention straight to the story and won’t let go until the pages run out. 

We open with Sergeant Rock, preparing himself and an unknown audience for a conflict to come. When or where this is set is somewhat unknown, but the massive futuristic assault rifle he levels to emphasis his last line says that Rock is somewhere in the modern day.

After the credits page, featuring a map of the current world of the DCU and a message that calls Death Metal an “Anti-Crisis”, we cut to Wonder Woman, hard at work deconstructing the invisible jet with a buzzsaw-like device in the literal depths of hell (Originally Themyscira) when someone interrupts her over approaching people. Said person is the flaming, green-covered skeleton that Swamp Thing has become in this world and he says that someone is coming with prisoners. And as Diana walks through her prison to meet these people, we get to see the absolute myriad of villains entombed in the place, including Joker. Once they reach the quartet, we get to meet Batmage, a red-suited Batman, a cloaked figure, and.....Bat-Tyrannosaurus. After some very terse banter, Diana is forced to throw this unknown prisoner into the pits of Tartarus. But before he is cast into the depths, he mutters something to Diana that makes her recognize the person for a moment.

After that, we are shown Castle Bat and given a backstory of a specific field within that area and the rebels who died within the tunnels underneath it before pulling back to a panel of a castle, with The Batman Who Laughs’ twisted Robins and Joker dragons dominating the structure. And then we meet The Batman Who Laughs’ League, composed of pairings of heros and Dark Multiverse Batmen. We have Harley Quinn and Dr Arkham, Aquaman and Bathomet, Wonder Woman and Batmage, and Mister Miracle and Darkfather. With each of them, we get a small question about their current work, with the most noteworthy being Mister Miracle revealing that Superman has almost succumbed to the Anti-Life Equation. Content with their briefings, The Batman Who Laughs begins to explain how Perpetua, the god who created their multiverse, has destroyed another of their universe, leaving only 8 before The Batman Who Laughs and Perpetua can remake the multiverse however they desire. Before we can hear more, we’re dragged into Diana’s perspective as the true Batman engages in a psychic link with her, trying to advocate for a small victory rather than the sweeping final win that Diana desires. As her thoughts turn towards what happened to result in the current state of the universe and her lack of memory about what caused it, The Batman Who Laughs interrupts her as he can tell that she is hiding something.

And at that moment, an explosive arrow fires out of the nearby woods and nearly vaporizes The Batman Who Laughs. Sacrificing one of his Robins, we soon see Bruce stride out to exchange threats with The Batman Who Laughs, who takes with some jest before ordering an entire squadron of Dark Multiverse Batmen to kill Bruce. While the enslaved Justice League does their best to take advantage of the distraction, their Dark Multiverse minders are quick to detain them from any rebellious actions. So Bruce is left alone, simply standing in this field to face down an army. And as The Batman Who Laughs monologues about how disappointed the brave men and women who died in this field would be at Bruce’s actions, he asks him what he would say to justify himself.

His answer?

One word.

“RISE.”

And so, with a BLACK LANTERN RING ON HIS FINGER, BRUCE WAYNE SUMMONS AN ARMY OF UNDEAD REBELS TO FIGHT THE DARK MULTIVERSE BATMEN JUST PURELY TO DEMONSTRATE WHAT HIS METHOD CAN DO TO DIANA BEFORE RIDING OFF ON A SKELETAL MOTORCYCLE AND LEAVING ZOMBIE JONAH HEX TO CONTINUE LEADING THE ASSAULT.

And now, as the audience both in the know about all of that and not in the know but hyped as hell because BRUCE WAYNE WENT FULL FUCKING NECROMANCER sits in the afterglow of that amazing moment, we cut to a single page depicting the planet Ossex as the Main Man, Lobo, unearths something from underneath the living bone of the planet.

Having made it back to Themyscira, Diana is quick to continue with the rebellion, setting off into Tartarus to see who this mystery prisoner is. And its...Wally West, with a Dr Manhattan-style hydrogen atom drawn into the forehead of his costume. And with Wally, we finally get an explanation of what the hell is going on. See, with the traditional multiverses, they are created using the positive energies that were explored in the Justice League run, things like the Speed Force, the Emotional Spectrum, Imagination. The inverse, stuff like chaos magic and the forces of doom that Perpetua wished to bring to power (and succeeded at doing) are what Wally calls Crisis Energy. And whereas the positive energies wish to create a strong united universe, Crisis Energies wish to simply make only one thing, one moment, one person important. And so, when Perpetua was trapped after her attempts to make a universe of war out of crisis energy, she did her best to instigate crises and came back empowered with all that energy. Meanwhile, the league, empowered by the slightly failed efforts of Dr Manhattan to ‘fix’ the multiverse, gathered all the positive energy they could and then, between the last issue of Justice League and Death Metal, the two forces clashed. Which, since they were basically smashing tow inverse forces together, resulted in both sides burning themselves out.

Now, that block of text could be extremely dry feeling, but it works really well in the two page spread, with the word balloons beginning to form an infinity symbol as images of past crises ranging from the original Crisis On Infinite Earths to Emerald Twilight to Dark Nights Metal in the background. 

But back to the story. With that explanation done, Wonder Woman begins to theorize potentially going back to those crises and gathering this information for themselves in order to reshape the universe themselves. Resulting in....”The first Anti-Crisis” The Batman Who Laughs interrupts with, striding into Tartarus to cut his own deal with Wonder Woman to let him take control over Perpetua. If she helps him, she gets all the people Perpetua has trapped and their own planet. And after that, he emphasizes how she can’t out-plan him, how he’s already prepared for her to knock him out, use the invisible jet she was being forced to deconstruct and melt down to give her armor that would render her undetectable. Wonder Woman is quick to counter that despite all the knowledge The Batman Who Laughs says he has, that entire plan is what Bruce would do. So he is quick to counter, stating so then she’d make a weapon, some sort of sword?

But it seems The Batman Who Laughs didn’t account for two things. One, for Diana to have already made her weapon before he showed up. Two, she didn’t need to make a sword. And so, with a pull of its ripcord, THE CHAINSAW OF TRUTH CLEAVES ITS WAY THROUGH THE BATMAN WHO LAUGHS IN A SPLASH PAGE OF PURE ENERGY ERUPTING OUT OF THE DEMON WHERE THE CHAINSAW IS CUTTING THROUGH HIM!

The comic ends with two quick one panel stories. The first, with Batmage executing a final plan that The Batman Who Laughs had in place to unleash a final Bruce Wayne. Which only sounds mildly menacing, unti the art shows both a button with a watchmen-style frownie face and the final Bruce Wayne in silhouette, a glowing hydrogen atom on his forehead.

The other is a cut back to Sergeant Rock, still continuing with his tirade from the beginning of the comic before he is taken out of the moment by Batman coming to retrieve him for the big fight. And as Batman promises One last fight with everyone together, we get to see in silhouette that Sergeant Rock is missing his everything below his torso, revealing himself to likely be another resurrection from Bruce’s Black Lantern ring.

So, in summary, IM PUMPED TO SEE WHAT HEIGHTS THIS THING HITS! THE BIG MOMENTS WERE SO DAMNED COOL! THE ART IS STILL THE ABSOLUTE ALL KILLER NO FILLER THAT CAPULLO ROCKED OUT WITH IN THE LAST DARK NIGHTS METAL EVENT AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT NEW SPORES OF MADNESS HE GETS TO CREATE FOR THIS STORY! 

And while I’d like to be pure hype beast, that feels a little disingenuous when I do have some small moments that seem like they could be tweaked. Both of the long exposition scenes for the Dead Bats and the Positive Energy vs Crisis Energy could have potentially stood for another pass just to really tighten them up, but I will also admit that both those scenes kinda deserve to be long-winded. The Dead Bats to make sure that the setup for Batman with a Black Lantern Ring summoning an army at that point works and the Energy one because its explaining the entire setup for the rest of the event series and it helps lull things down so that the hype of Chainsaw of Truth can hit like it should. 

So yeah, this thing is absolutely something any Scott Snyder fan, any DC fan, heck Id almost venture to say anyone interested in comics read. None of the story elements of the comic intrinsically need you to know the backstory behind them, but there are definitely rewards for knowing DC continuity in general and Scott Snyder’s previous works in this arcing story. So yeah, I am going to sit here, vibrating in anticipation as I await the next issue of Death Metal from the Cowboys From Hell on their encore tour.

[abimee]

ive recently been told by someone close to me that they think i might have bipolar I and i think i might be going through a manic episode but im not sure and i dont have access to real medical help for it right now. how do you tell if you're going through a manic episode / is it possible for you tell? (not asking for you to diagnose me or something just asking for your experiences because trying to differentiate the reliability of online MH resources is awful sometimes)

I have mixed bipolar so i feel both swings at extremes, so know that bipolar can be milder than this, but overall the symptoms I can directly pin to my manic are as follows

In mania i feel less urge to sleep / i never feel tired, so i tend to stay up late or refuse to go to bed. I'm typically too engrossed in something to wanna sleep and I get stressed out about the time im losing by sleeping, causing me to get restless

I'm very irritable! If nothing is 100% as i want it or people's tones aren't exactly to my liking I'll be more biting and aggressive, I can't control my tone and often are more demanding and direct because I know what's right or wrong

Nothing satisfies my attention, ill spend 4 hours on a drawing and then move on to the next drawing, often taking big projevts

I forgot to eat or bathe, or use the restroom when I'm engrossed in a manic-induced focus. I'll feel no NEED to eat or use the restroom

I feel very high of myself! My confidence is super high and hate never gets to me, i get jealous of others' success but I'm overall very sure of myself snd constantly like "im the best fanartist on this site and my art deserves better than what it gets, i should be more popular but generic artists are getting big instead". My ego is inprenetrable during a manic episode

but I'm also self aware that my confidence is a false thing, and i begin to stress about when I'll lose my height of mania and dip into depression; i become TERRIFIED of being sad again, and that how i feel isn't honest or real and that it will slip from me

Sometimes I'm incapable of recognizing my mania and think im "genuinely better" and that my mental health is fixed, and when i swing into depression I miss mania so badly and realize it was all fake

My sense of self gets warped, i go from wanting to engross myself in my Irish ancestry to wanting to entirely turn to traditional islam and consume myself into my religion, i whiplash with who i wanna be and my sense of self and i never stop

All of this lasts days!

That's a general scope of my symptoms, all the major ones i can think of that produce a manic episode for me. Mine usually last 3-12 days and then my body swings into catatonic depression that makes me Severly upset and hopeless, as if I've been depressed for years. It's a very bad swing lol

[kachinnate]

(me when i see you've reblogged the ask game: ahHh yes now i can ask her questions :DD) if i could tell her, so big/so small, finale, a little bit of light, connor murphy?

(oh i LOVE u ur so sweet ;0;;)(also i’m sorry in advance for how much i’ve RAMBLE u picked all the big boy questions 4 me >|D!!) if i could tell her: describe someone you care about or look up to.ok there’s so many ppl i could pick rn bc i am so full of love atm but!!! i’mma do my old theatre director just bc i’ve been thinking about him a lot lately ;;;okay, so mix will roland with like, a sterotypical high-school theatre director that you’d see on like tv or in a movie, and that’s.. p much my director :’D his name is ragan and he was like…. definitely the reason i kept doing theatre in hs. i cannot go into detail about all the things this dude has done for me, but.. ghhh. he is so sweet and so compassionate and like, the way he teaches acting is kind of beautiful?? he gets so into it and is so passionate about it and aaaHH ;; i remember every night before a show we’d circle up and do like little tradition things and right before we left to go do last-minute preparations he’d give us this spiel about how theatre was the only temporary form of art - how a movie or a piece of artwork or a song would always be in existence, but this particular showing of this production of this play? would only be a one time thing, something really special that you’re sharing with a group of people who, despite any differences y’all might have, are all tied together for a common cause, and that we should enjoy it for that very reason and um?;;; im CRYIN… i feel like he taught me more in two years than any other teacher ever could and i’m going to be forever thankful for that so big / so small: how do you wish people would comfort or show care to you?talking me through things but in a way that’s not like !! pitying !! u kno? also i said this before but literally any acknowledgement to something i did/said/even just my Existence In General in my eyes is a huge sign that u care abt me which will make me 🥺finale: write a letter to yourself (only saying kind things!).dear kayla [redacted],you !! are !!! so much more !!! than you EVER give yourself credit for !!!!!! literally dude you’ve gone through this magnitude of SHIT and yet somehow you’re always still smiling at the end of it all, and despite everything you are ! so kind!! you are kind and full of love and no one can ever take that away from you! you genuinely didn’t think you’d live long enough to see the end of 2019 but guess what? you fuckin did! and you’re so much stronger in the aftermath…. the people who have hurt you are missing out on the lovely person that you are, but at the end of the day that’s their loss dude. you deserve people who care about you and love you and nothing less - and for the first time in a while you can say that you feel like you’re finally surrounded by nothing but that. that’s dope. ur dope.a little bit of light: describe a happy memory.kind of a bittersweet memory but!: very recently a super upsetting thing happened to me irl regarding someone who i thought was one of my pals, and i found out while i was hanging out w a couple of my other friends,,, and like i was Really Upset and i hate crying like in front of other people, so i very much was trying to like laugh my way through it as if it didn’t bother me while very obviously being on the brink of tears (and like 4 seconds later sobbing)and my friends super just dropped whatever it was that we were supposed to be doing and they were like “okay! it’s loving kayla hours™ rn so we’re all going to go around the circle and say what we lov about her” and like. every answer made me like Sob omg ;;;; one of the girls is like a grade underneath me and she was like “you were the first person i ever acted w/ in theatre and that’s rlly special to me bc u made me want to keep doing it” and aaAHhHhhtldr; i love my friends a lot,,connor murphy: what is one thing you wish people understood about you?already answered! :D

[tempestshakes01]

happy and anxious. 

happy because i love my apartment and i love Lil Cup of Joe. he is a terror and the sweetest boy ever, and i feel so much love for him. this is why i can’t be around an animal for an extended period of time. i will die for any creature i get attached to and lil joe is now my baby. 

but i am anxious because i put of working when my brother brought home a puppy. he didn’t ask me to, but he’s an idiot who’s never home and bought a puppy to make him come home. i gave him 3 days and when his habits didn’t change, joe was being left alone and untrained, and i needed a running buddy--well, i took over. joe’s now potty-trained and knows a few (one) command. i take him everywhere to socialize him. he’s mine. but i’ll never say that to nick. who still needs to go therapy. i don’t know him. i don’t know what goes on in that head of his. it’s like we switched personalities in our 20s. i went from the quiet, serious type to basically a manic 13 yr old boy. he went from a wildly charismatic clown to a brooding hipster. what makes him laugh? what is he thinking? what is he passionate about? how does he talk to other ppl for hours but he can barely speak to his family for more than half of one? what did we do?

i got really angry the other night thinking about the fights i’ve had with my parents this past year. 

1) washington d.c. - mom and i got into to it in front of the fuckin white house at dusk. i was so emotional and upset at being there, right there where trump fucks over our country, and my mom was being...well, the woman fox news molded. i was furious and trying to keep it nice, so i asked if we could just stop. stop talking. i was gonna blow up. and my mom was like, “why do we stop when you say stop, but when i ask to stop, you continue?” which...is it true? i didn’t think so, and because i can’t keep my mouth shut, i argued until i walked away. i walked into the crowds and then i kept walking. i kept walking. i kept walking.  

it was terrible. i texted her “i’m gone” and i left. 

i forgot the details but i wandered that area of d.c. got a coffee. tried not to cry. and then...remembered how much trouble my mom’s phone was giving her, that her gps apps weren’t being accurate, that she wasn’t confident at the metro, and that it was now dark. that she was alone in an unfamiliar city with a camera bag strapped to her screaming “i’m a tourist!” 

i felt like utter and complete shit. it was one of the most despicable things i’ve ever done. later, i told some people and they were like “she’s a grown woman! you were both upset!” but no. i can’t make excuses like that. i knew that my mom was scared. i burst into tears. a crazy sobbing girl in the middle of d.c. i immediately texted her and told her to get back to me when she got to the hotel. 

an hour later, back at the hotel, my mom couldn’t even look at me. couldn’t speak to me. i knew i had to apologize and i did, wording it carefully because i walking on a minefield. i again blocked out most of the conversation, but it quickly dissolved into a mess of confessions. i was wrecked. at first because of what happened, but as our conversation turned into an argument, i became furious again. over how she interpreted some of our interactions. over how i “blamed” her for my anxiety and anger. i told her i got my anger from her. that i was slow to it like my father, but when something lit inside me it burned bright and hot and deadly like her. that her grudges and cold shoulders hurt me so, so badly when i was a kid (which she then explained wasn’t a grudge, just her processing her anger...but that was way, way into the night). oh god, it was so bad. so bad. she confessed how she felt about all us kids. told me about her problems with andi and nick. told me she wanted to move away from us. told me she didn’t want a relationship with me or them if it was going to be like this. 

i didn’t sleep. just cried and cried. like i did when i was a kid. sobbed in the bathroom and then under my covers. we barely talked the next day, but it slowly became okay. i didn’t know how to explain how much i loved her, so i tried to show her.      

in the end, we were ok enough. 

2) driving 30 hrs across the country - my dad and i were talking and he told me how he didn’t get us, and that we were hurting mom by rejecting her or something. he was upset and my dad doesn’t get upset, so i got upset and moody. and he was like “why are you like this? just with me? just with us. you’re so cruel.” and i knew it was true but it still took me an hour to snap out of it. and i apologized. 

--

but i feel sometimes angry bc i got the emo dump from both my parents. about both my siblings! and they don’t even talk to them about it! my parents don’t even touch nick anymore! they leave him alone because it’s easier that way and he wouldn’t listen even if they tried to talk to him! and my sister would get super huffy and feel judged and act out in some way and take the kids! so. i get it but i hate it!!! because i got the feelings dump! i got the tears and the hours of psychoanalyzing why we are the way we are! and i hate that i feel burdened by it sometimes?

 i want to be there for my parents but sometimes i’m that petulant child that still wants a mommy and daddy, not two parents who are human and exist with their own emotional life. and that’s so unfair to them and wrong of me, but i feel that way because i’m the child that gets this brunt of this side of them.  

but it’s because in my own way im the most difficult and this shit spills out when i push them. 

--

my parents (mostly mom) are only getting more set in their ways and defensive of their opinions. my mom...my mom who taught me so much about art and the world and appreciating different cultures and music and lived life with such vigor and wonder...i can see that fading and hardening. she’s stubborn about what she like and doesn’t have much interest in anything new. she’s offended and hurt when i gently bring up her how she used to be. 

my dad’s always been this way. very traditional, but kind. spoiled, but hardworking. likes what he likes. but he’s eating more greens. he’ll try what i make because i made it. we listened to latino usa and old radio lab podcasts that whole drive from wa to tx, and he loved it, and we discussed the episodes. and i loved him so much because he gave them a shot and we connected. 

but my mom. my mom. i miss her and she’s right there, but she’s not. and i know i’m part of the reason she’s retreated into herself and her more ‘sturdy’ beliefs and the friends who share them. she’s so quick to judge and harsh about it these days. is it age? is it us? is it this horrible world?

--

i came home to this. i came home and how quickly people change bc i didn’t expect my mom to be so old. in spirit. she’s tired. she doesn’t trust me. we’re working on being gentle. i’m working on not being so quick to anger.

my dad and i...i’m thrilled we’re getting along so well after i treated him like shit during the ~separation years~ between my parents. i was awful to him and he knew why, but he never called me out on it. 

my sis and i are fine. i’m so relieved she got out of that last relationship with that TERRIBLE PERSON and came to her senses, and somewhat grew up. we kick it. she cooks for me. we don’t completely jive cause she’s hood, but can code-switch between worlds, and i’m suburban through and through, so i’m not as cool or smooth as she is. i’m her dorky weird little sister and i appreciate her love for me. 

my brother? a mystery. a complete mystery. 

and i’m reminded of how he called me on my birthday and started weeping and asking about therapy and saying he’s sorry he never believed in my anxiety because it’s true--you don’t ask for, you don’t know why it appears, and it wrecks you. and he deals with it now for no discernible reason and he sounded so, so broken over the phone that i was shaking and crying when we hung up.

but now he’s as chill as ever and takes minimal care of his puppy because the 1st dog he got was pretty hands-off from the jump, but she was grown and pooed and peeded everywhere for months (he says no, but that’s selective memory), so now lil joe is mine and i need to get a job because the lack of structure is killlllllllllllllingggggg me. but i don’t want to leave lil joe :( 

--

it’s funny how i never set out to write all this shit, but it comes spilling out. 

huh. wait.

i left and i worked on myself but then i missed my family.

did i come back to work on the family? to work on my relationship with them? is that my purpose here and why i felt compelled to return?

--

went climbing with GA. i was totally afraid of falling and bouldering isn’t as fun to me as top rope, but i wanna keep at it. 

trying to set something up with B and A. my buds. i love em. 

gotta set something up with L because I have a feeling we’ll be good friends here. and weirdly, BG contacted me even though I haven’t talked to him since college? and even then we weren’t that close. he was just inching toward asking me out and never managed it.

--

fav emmy looks: zendaya (obviously. omg, whatta babe), maisie williams (whatta look, suits her perfectly, killed it), gwen christie (whatta jesus babe), that girl in the billowing mint green dress, anddddd clea duvall (a babe in a tux). 

vm continue to make me sad and hopefully things go well with tour for them. it’s nice to see them getting along with charlie and tanith. with bby charlie and tati and max’s kid coming along...oh boy for scott’s emotions. he’s gonna ignore the HELL out of those sad feeling for what couldvebeen with tess and he’s gonna plan hard for his and j’s future offspring instead. (can i also predict that i think one thing scott’s gonna have trouble with in his marriage--oddly enough--is keeping the marriage a partnership and not bulldozing over his spouse with his wants and needs ...wait, that’s not odd lol) 

--

anyway, gotta take joe out to pee. gotta get to bed soon because i wanna be on the trails by 7am and then maybe to the climbing gym. this face maybe a potato but my body can improve! (i’m thicc at the moment thanks to texas food 🤧) 

[domesticangel]

here’s a big ol dump of art thats been sitting in my folders for anywhere between 1-3 years that at this point ill probably never finish to accompany some Really Long rambling under the cut

im a junior in college now (””should be”” a senior/whatever that means/since i took a gap year but) but when i was in my like....sophomore-senior years of high school i drew like.....every. freaking. day. like literally i feel like i would draw like, 1 or 2 fully fleshed out, give-all-my-attention to type drawings every single day of my life, and i always had so much fun doing it.

after having a while to self-reflect though ive concluded theres kind of some layers to this. because i figure theres at least a little romanticization of the past going on, because i KNOW i wasn't a very happy person in high school; in fact, mental health wise, late high school into my freshman year of college was probably my very lowest point. i did lack motivation at these points, but not for drawing; i kind of put off school work and college prep, which wasn't good, but drew like HELL every single day, and pretty much all of it was fan art. thats one of the main differences between me then and me now; i used to dedicate so much of my time and energy to “fandom” and the media i was into, and it totally fueled my desire to draw, whereas now, i obviously still enjoy different series, but... my life doesn't really revolve around them like it used to.

the way i see it, i think i definitely used to use media and fandom participation as a form of escapism, but not really the good kind... i think it was more of a maladaptive obsession i failed to keep in check that i know for a fact really got in the way of my schoolwork, and i only doubled down when it came time to apply to colleges, because of course that stressed me out and scared me; during times like that, which was almost always due to my mental health issues at the time, i clung to fandom because its what brought me comfort and kind of shielded me from my responsibilities.

either way, that obsession with whatever media i was into at any given time is also what i think gave me that desire to draw all the time that i miss so much. i think being THAT invested in something is what actually gave me the constant desire to create, and being able to create something and feel accomplished in something without having to face anything uncertain or scary kept me totally hooked. so its weird trying to parse how i feel about that time period in my life.

on one hand, my mental health has gotten SO much better. obviously ive matured a lot since high school, so over time ive learned about much better coping mechanisms and ideas about mental health, ive gotten on a medication that works for me, and ive really gotten into my major so I'm really enjoying school as well. and obviously this is progress that i would never, ever, just want to give up or throw away. however, its also this progress that seems to have inadvertently influenced how often i draw, because I'm no longer fully diving into media/fandom because i dont need that escapism anymore, and therefore i don't have this like, feverish, obsession-fueled desire to draw like i used to. its kind of a double edged sword i guess and something i don't have a clear answer to.

i also think another factor i can't ignore is that i used to have a very large following in a lot of fandoms on tumblr, and if i remember correctly before i deleted my old tumblr i had around 12,000 followers that i had accumulated over probably the course of about 5 years. so that meant that my fan art got a LOT of attention. not to sound like hur-de-blur-social-media-is-evil but like at least in my personal experience, i kind of taught myself to think, “your art is only worth something if it gains a huge, instantaneous reaction, and peoples’ reaction to your art is the ONLY thing that decides its value.” and thinking like that really has hurt how i feel about my art over time! often times, after deleting my tumblr, i would find myself thinking, “well whats the point in doing any art, because nobodys going to see it anyway” so i honestly didn't draw or feel anything for art for a long, long time. in that time i channeled my feelings and energy into much more harmful activities, and i really could've used art at the time, but it had become such a worthless concept in my head since i could no longer associate it with immediate praise and attention.

i forgot a lot of important things about art, most importantly, how it could be fulfilling to just ME and that that was ok. i forgot that drawing regularly would help me improve, or give me something to focus on when i felt down, or give me the power to create something when i felt like i messed up everything else around me, or just make me happy because i thought of something i wanted to put on paper and then just put it on paper. and thats one of the main reasons i created this tumblr; i want to kind of rekindle that passion i had for art, but this time, without the maladaptive obsessions and without the need for approval from everyone around me. and i know this isn't a unique struggle; i know lots of artists who share their work online get discouraged by how little attention their work gets after they put so much time and effort into it, and like them, i don't have an answer as to how to “fix” this feeling either. but i can at least try. i want to prove to myself that the time i spent feeling hopeful and happy about something i created justifies its entire existence regardless of now many notes it gets, whether its OCs, fan art, digital, traditional, whatever. i just want to learn how to draw because it makes me happy.

that said, finding the motivation can be hard. however, i think I'm sometimes a little too hard on myself. I'm on winter break right now, and ive kind of defaulted to thinking “you haven't drawn enough, you've wasted so much time wishing the motivation fairy would visit you and make you draw that you haven't put in the time and effort needed to make yourself do it, youre pissing away every chance you have.” but when i think about it, i don't think thats true.

ive spent a lot of time thinking about OCs recently, which is kind of wild, because i haven't had the desire to make OCs in probably literally ten freakin years, so thats honestly huge for me--i actually really WANT to make original content despite the fact that i know it won't get as much attention as fan art, and i want to just do it for me, because i want to get it out. ive done a whole character sheet and I'm working on another! and sure, it didn't take me half a day like it maybe used to would've, but what does that matter? i thought, hey, i wanna get this out, and i got it out, and thats good enough for me. ive even written up storyboards in case i wanna ever make some small comics about my OCs just for fun, which is exciting cause ive never done it before. ive also been working on a commission for a close friend who wanted me to design her a fursona, and not only has it been a really fun process, but its the first commission ive done in a really, really long time, and it feels really rewarding. on top of that, I'm working on a painting for my dad as a late christmas present, and its my first really ambitious traditional piece in a while, so thats been pretty exciting too. and sure, ive done some fan art, but it feels like its coming from a better place; its less “please assign me value” and more just, really feeling something for the characters and wanting to try to connect with other people who feel something for those characters as well.

so, while it seems challenging, i also need to remind myself not to be blind to my own progress. i think i am doing better, and feeling better about art even if sometimes it feels like i spend way more time thinking about doing art instead of actually doing it. i think thats probably normal, and i think i can keep heading in the right direction.

ANYWAY this got really long but sometimes typing out how i feel about something and then reading it back helps me understand my own head a little better, so thats ok