#also im sick on top of all this
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TW VENT / IMPURE REGRESSION VENT [also theres some s/h implications] :
feelin rlly icky rn :C i did smthin rlly bad to myself and idk what to do now it hurts rlly bad and I cant do anythin abt it :[
#trinket babbles#I just want a hug#my partner and both of my parents dont love me anymore and i hate that#i need to let my emotions out in healthy ways for once WHAT I DO ISNT WORKING OUT UAUAGSGHAJDKODUSHHA /neg#also im sick on top of all this#i hate everything happening rn#even tho my cg doesnt love me anymore i still wan them to hold me :(#icky… i hate feelin like dis
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haha, so there's this Pokemon TCG art contest 😳😳👉👈...
Please check out the other round 1 guys here!
#ptcgic2024#pokemon#absol#bidoof#charizard#congratulations to all 300 top cut entries!!! and GL next round!#lots of tough competition this year; also GL to everyone next time who didn't make it this year!!#there's some Al genned crap for eevee and pika that im trying to Blow Up With My Mind tbh; hope they get DQ'd#if u check the first tag on twitter u can find a lot of sick entries that unfortunately didnt make it to screening 1
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hey we all agree that ed gets nightmares about ling absorbing the philosophers stone right
#his new bestie (and maybe boyfriend if ur into that) just got done walking through literal hell with him and now hes screaming in agony#body contorting into unnatural shapes bones breaking and reforming as he vomits blood#like god damn. chill dude. ur freaking everyone out. please#and then he gets possessed and is not seen again for like a month and eds gotta be worried sick (on top of everything else)#anyway this is all to say during the camping trip he gets one of those nightmares and bam edling hurt comfort#could even go for greed ed angst with ed freaking out if lings okay and greed trying to reassure him lings FINE hes just ASLEEP please stop#HITTING ME (and why do i feel so weird about seeing you in distress) (why does the thought of ling not being there also put me on edge ;-;)#alright okay phew i got that out of my system#sorry im a sucker for bad dreams and also forced emotional vulnerability#(bc lbr how else are any of these dorks gonna admit they care unless under duress by fanfic authors (except maybe ling. hes pretty fine))#edward elric#ling yao#greedling#edling#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#moss' madness
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im still very sick and lets just say it aint goin well.
(please let me be healthy soon)
#i couldnt think of anyone to draw of my ocs or fanart or whatever#so i just drew me staring into the distance with my really red nose from blowing it so much.#woe is me guys i hurt all over#and i messed up with pain meds because WHY do we have two different looking bottles of ibuprofen with different labels and pills#and then also tylenol off brand#i thought i was alternating between advil and tylenol but nah im just taking dose after dose#of ibuprofen yesterday and now im having chest pains which i dont think are related#but the breathing pains on top of my back pains on top of my wheezing and coughing throat pains are like please i need meds#i want to not be miserable by christmas#how have i been with my parents for like 4 days and all of them have been me being v sick
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who ordered screenshots of post-clear ucob arena? nobody? great here they are enjoy
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ucob#the unending coil of bahamut#im not the best at taking pics but i know that a lot of players wont see this AND i have an ultrawide so i can get fat screenies of these#post-cob is probably one of my faves alone with top#tops is so sick with the eye and planets n shit#im excited for fru#also i was slightly limited by trying to hide the platform so theyre all low angled
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look i know this month has been crazy already in what has been going on for me BUT IT GETS CRAZIER... I got to finally have my constant pain I've had for two years diagnosed... I have fibromyalgia lol i have a chronic illness??😭😭
tbf it doesn't change anything i was already coping with these pains because I've been sitting with em for 2 years i just have anti depressants now but you know what has changed... my character lore GOT SICK AS FUCK!!!!!!!🦅🦅🦅🦅 (lighthearted)
#not art#i feel like someones oc rn#wdym i have a higher sense of pain and i feel physical pain when i get stressed that sounds like what i did to my ocs at 10 for lore LMAO#on top of that i got told i have hyperelasticity and got told... hm yeah thats probably why you wear glasses#THEN HE PROCEEDS TO EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN WRONG WITH MY EYES FOR YEARS WHAT THE FUCK#born to be blind ig i guess it wasnt that damn phone after all/joke#not gonna lie i kinda saw fibromyalgia coming because my family does have a history of it but still damn#im taking it pretty well rn but i was very mortified at the prospect of a chronic illness but. whatever im already coping well#AGAIN THIS DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING LOL i just think its crazy as hell#character lore got sick as hell this month i got into a car crash them boom you have chronic illness that is basically a disability#also you have funny nerves hehe you can stretch funny AND THAT MAKES YOU BLIND#i feel like someones oc#(not reallt a car crash almost was but. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN WITH HOW I WAS LEFT???)
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the dunmeshi yuri discourse feels wild to me because it just feels like the wrong series to be doing this with. yes farcille is a juggernaut ship but like. the series is still made up of a mostly male cast and the more important side characters are also male. for a while its just marcille until izutsumi gets added and she's a teenager so no shipping with most characters for her. if we're being honest this is not a series where its a shock or an upset for there to be more m/m.
not to mention that farcille is still the most overall popular dunmeshi ship on ao3 by far, the m/m to f/f ratio seems to me that there are several m/m ships being rotated around where with f/f its mostly farcille with a couple of minor ships. the only other f/f ship ive seen any consistent content for in the fandom is namari/kiki, a little bit of izutsumi/tade, and some canary ladies.
While dunmeshi is a great series that resists a lot of anime tropes about portraying women and body types I feel like we still owe it to ourselves to be honest in that most of the central character are men who, with the exception of senshi, are pretty slim, women included (falin is fat in my HEART-). I dont really say this to critique ryoko kui, but just because I think its best to temper our expectations about what the story actually includes. you cant hang everything on "but look how well farcille is written" when, while I do love them, falin admittedly spends a good chunk of the series as a plot device more then a person. the glimpses of her self we get are really fascinating to me, and I would confidently say she's a character in her own right, but it would be disingenuous to claim she couldn't have used more screen time or depth into how she feels during all this crazy shit that's happened to her.
#basically what im getting at just beyond this subject matter is dunmeshi isnt the end all be all of diversity. I love how kui draws fat#people and I hope whatever she goes on to do she keeps drawing more of them but I also dont wanna be disingenuous and claim that it has the#greatest fat rep of all time because in the story proper its really just a couple of minor characters#and im so sick of people misrepresenting the numbers. farcille is the top ao3 ship by FAR only one other ship has over 100 fics and farcill#has 242 as of today#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#siren says#do not be rude on this post I will just block you
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my fucking VISIONS for phantoms keep. grrrr grrrrrrrrrr
#i thought to myself one day 'what if it was fuckoff huge with ALL kinds of stuff going on and more like a commune or Big Socialist Hotel#than an actual keep. what if...'#and since then ive been keeping a running list of the kinds of rooms/areas/fucked up noneuclidean features it should have#and oh my god. its getting fucking sick. its SO MUCH. its like#imagine a big state capitol building and a university and a Wizard University and a community respurce building and an art museum and a#cruise ship and someones house all piles on top of one another. and now make it one big mostly consistently themed building... and now turn#off the laws of phsyics. and also put it on an island in the void#im having so much fun
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I'm actually devastated cause i woke up to an atrocious sore throat..
#im literally just a girl blogging#what the fuck#i literally just got over being sick two weeks ago AND MY GRANDMA LITERALLY DISINFECTED THE ENTIRE HOUSE WHEN MY FAMILY WAS AT THE MALL#im actually so sad#AND TO GET SICK BEFORE CHRISTMAS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME#theres a first time for everything:(#im suffering#ranting#i absolutely hate getting sick#now idk if im gonna be able to go over and do early Christmas at a family members house#cause im sick AND she literally has a newborn baby and i dont want the baby getting sick#omg and on top of all that#im going back with said family for a few weeks and im gonna be miserable if IM FUCKING SICK#also doesn't help that my cousin and his gf sleep with fans on AND SO MY ROOM FAN IS ON AND ITS ALREADY COLD IN THIS HOUSE
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Things I think would fix Sigma
Big tub of cookie dough
Being allowed to kill the next person to piss him off
Pet cat
#top surgery also but im sure you are all sick of me going on ab him being transgender#ramblings#sigma bsd
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my chest hurts qnd i have to do this stupid fucking assignment. Pray for me
#text#its like on the left like. heart pain basically but this is so common for me its more annoying than scary#just hurts a lot ☹️#Also idk what to paint for my watercolor class#she says it should be a) mainly watercolor#b) from observation and c) incorporate a landscape or natural objects#but all 3 of those rules are loose#i rly dont know what i should do im so sick of painting landscapes honest to god#but i JUST did another top down perspective found object collection#so. idk#i might paint my docs. ive been meaning to i really love them and i think the highlights would be fun#i also have like glitter acrylic paint i want to use#but i dont have a solid enough dedicated idea#id be able to fo this much easier if i was PN MY FUCKING CONCERTS
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oo im curious !! in your stp princess, adversary is first and eye of the needle is last..!! whatre your thoughts .. tell me, soldier ..
like i said the thing with these rankings is that i thoroughly like all the routes and i wish i didn’t have to put one above the other or have any of them be ‘last’… But if i had to explain then it’s like—EoN feels like a pretty open-and-shut route to me. it feels like there’s a clear path of choices you need to follow ? (i.e. set her free) at their cores adversary and EoN are about different things, and I Personally enjoy the ‘fight each other to the death forever’ concept a lot more even though it’s technically not the ‘correct’ perspective (it’s sooo damn fun though) i do also enjoy and appreciate the thematic importance of setting EoN free, i’d just rather hang out with adversary if anything :)
#i also love eon’s design#but the thing with the routes i put near the bottom of the list is that they’re pretty open and shut#they’re good! they do their jobs well! i love the greys and the wraith is amazingly unsettling and eon drives the themes of freedom to their#logical conclusions. they do their jobs well! but this also means you only sort of get one outcome out of it all#just by nature of them being chapter 3’s and esp chapter 3’s about ghosts#(apotheosis is also there because i havent played her that much i do realize that she has a bunch more choice freedom now)#so yeah …. like i said in the tags of the original post the top 15 routes im sick in the head about#and the last 10 are routes i enjoy a normal amount#all very good#cramswering#idk if any of this is coherent 😭 i just woke up
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🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳
#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well#the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if#something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed#and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me#kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top#of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired#sick and tiredddddd#actually a bit sick too my throat hurts#anyways whatever#it’ll be fine i guess#i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it#♡ dear diary…
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if I had the same ability to write fictional stories the same was I can write my entire irl backstory when someone im rly comfortable with Did Not Ask I would be an unstoppable storyteller
alas, adhd
#I am still awake my partner woke up this is abt me in their dms yes#I am still having panic attack symtomps yes#I am incredibly inebriated yes#mainly on lack of sleep i think. realistically speaking I will wake up tomorrow at 5am est#word like realistically like financially like employmentally but thjays not a word speaking- I should wake up before 9pm with enough time t#work. might need to call in sick bc i am. on top of everything. also physically sick. like cold symptoms yea. great timing!#in case it wasnt obvious tumblr tages is also “someone im rly comfortable” when im this inbrbriated. but I used to do this shit all the#time when i was like 15-17#ah. that was last dump election. maybe i am returning to who i was then. I kinda think i was a better person then but i was a shut in teeen#ok. stop pouring ur entire consciousness into the tunnblr tages why do i always e tags i said stop that. sorry i probably sound insane#its just assumedly untreated adhd idk i havent been diagnosed yet but this is what the inside of my head is like 24/7#SHUT UP DUDE
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see the thing that gets me about the human centipede is that you're either a normie going to watch a movie and getting scared over nothing of you're a freak whos going like WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?! and like both can backfire bc i cannot stress enough The Human Centipede is such a stupidly tame movie there's barely any blood at all but thing is what makes me be SO insane about it it's that Heiter's actor May He Rest In Peace just put his WHOLE PUSSY into playing him making it such a fucking enjoyable and hilarious movie.
Like you cannot go watch the human centipede first sequence expecting to be scared bc you'll get bored in the first 40 minutes of doomed yuri but you gotta embrace the sheer campiness of it. Nobody cares about the campiness bro. He makes chicken sounds. He makes horrible silly chicken noises. Are you listening to me.
#luly talks#NOBODY GETS IT I HATE IT HERE#ITS NOT A SCARY MOVIE ITS A SILLY ASS MOVIE#THAT'S WHY 3 IS MY FAVORITE 1 is the best tho objectively#IF YOU WANT ACTUAL GORE GO WATCH 2 THE POOP SPLATTERS THE TV ITS#ITS NOT FUNNY TO ME SADLY BUT I RESPECT IT TOO MUCH#3 has the best of both worlds bc its so gross and over the top BUT its also like. character focused#i mean 2 was too but its jsut a loooong drawn out torture scene#2 IS LITERALLY WHAT PEOPLE THINK 1 IS ITS SO FUNNY tom six is literally hilarious#but anyway ooooh you wanna watch the human centipede so bad oooooooh you wanna give it a chance#like granted the humor could just Not Hit but. It's literally just camp#go read my liveblog at least microdose in this masterpiece i am not exaggerating or being ironic its an incredible movie#and it has such a bad reputation for NO reason#like the scariest thing about THC is the poster#which is sick as all fucks btw#love the cultural impact this movie had also. but nobody appreciates it its so fucking sad............#i like at least 3 like. didnt lose the soul#bc 2 was six being a bit bitchy a bit of a OH YEAH? THEN WATCH THIS which is funny but yknow#3 is perfect 3 is the perfect end to the saga im so normal about the human centipede you can trust me around the human centipede#cant wait to start quoting bill boss like its my job once the heat starts rising#i'd learn to do gifsets...
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day 3 no ibuprofen i am suffering
#surgeon is making me stop ibuprofen for 4 weeks XD 2 wks before and 2 wks after surgery#i think ive complained abt it on here already like i understand it is because it can mess with bleeding but oh my god#naturally. i am having a flare up of joint pain :) and a migraine that makes it feel like im being shot in the head#m whole body hurts like it wants me to die#im still allowed to take tylenol but all tylenol does is make me feel sick ueeuueueeueu it doesnt help my pain at all becaause so much of i#is from inflammation#top surgery will improve my life so so so much but it is going to be hellish trynig to slog through my fucking chronic pain disorder#also i <3 my surgeon and her team but during my preop i repeated (was already meant to be in my file but wasn't) how much ibuprofen i take#and the medical assistant literally GASPED and said WOW. THATS A LOT! and started lauughing and im like yayyyyy wow i had noooooo idea ive#been taking unhealthy amounts of it jsut for shits n gigs!#like do you think im dealing witht he drawbacks of taking 800-2400 mgs of ibuprofen daily for FUN? you think i wouldnt give anyhting to not#have to take it????#anyways rant over sorry karl i know ur the only one reading this#maybe discodildos i dont really know you but you like my posts from time to time
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