#ITS NOT A SCARY MOVIE ITS A SILLY ASS MOVIE

[the-acid-pear]

see the thing that gets me about the human centipede is that you're either a normie going to watch a movie and getting scared over nothing of you're a freak whos going like WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?! and like both can backfire bc i cannot stress enough The Human Centipede is such a stupidly tame movie there's barely any blood at all but thing is what makes me be SO insane about it it's that Heiter's actor May He Rest In Peace just put his WHOLE PUSSY into playing him making it such a fucking enjoyable and hilarious movie.

Like you cannot go watch the human centipede first sequence expecting to be scared bc you'll get bored in the first 40 minutes of doomed yuri but you gotta embrace the sheer campiness of it. Nobody cares about the campiness bro. He makes chicken sounds. He makes horrible silly chicken noises. Are you listening to me.

[skunkes]

how did u feel about the 2nd Terrifier movie? i saw it on a first date so it wasn’t the best experience… but revisiting it I can enjoy it more. good sfx

So the first one is 1h30m i believe, and I know when I watched it and saw I was 40 minutes in i was like wow its been that long and it feels like not much has happened huh. But then it did what it did and it ended.

For the second one I was like oh its been 40 minutes. Hopefully it starts kicking off like the first one. And then after what felt like an hour only 10 more minutes had passed LOL and the entire rest of the movie felt dis way

I like that this one had more of a semblance of a plot... The clown cafe song is stuck in my head... Sfx is good but hm im not sure how to describe this....im not one of those "omg this is just a legal snuff film u guys are evil for watching this" people nor am i a "ermm if u cant handle this ur a prude and a little baby actually" person but more somewhere in between or outside. I love movie gore, when i was younger I watched Saw SOLELY for the traps, i didnt even know the plot until more recently LMAO

but obviously That One Scene...idk! I dont think it was too much in the "prude" way nor was i clapping and cheering but it did evoke a "ok come on wrap it up" feeling from me...like these faces combined...does dis make sense. Not walking-out-of-the-theater disgust and revulsion OR enjoyment/glee but just mostly straight faced this ⬇️

The first movie has a naked woman being split in half from coochie down so its definitely not the gore itself here that evoked this emotion ykwim

[suiana]

(yandere! bully victim x gn! bully reader) (cw: erm... yandere stuff, body horror or whatever its called idk bruh, he kinda carves his name into ur skin but its not mentioned in detail)

"how does it feel to be on the receiving end now, huh?"

you shiver, letting out a strained sound as you trash on the table.

"pluh- mn!"

"what was that? you've got to be clearer with your words, my dear. how do you expect me to understand muffles?"

the male hums, his cold hands dancing across your body. you could only shiver yet again, unable to do anything but remain binded to the table.

"oh, sorry, i forgot you couldn't speak. haha, how silly of me."

yeah, how silly of him to completely gag you so you couldn't speak. how completely silly of him to tie you to some cold table, restraining all your movements so that you couldn't fight back against him. how absolutely whimsical for him to be recording all your grunts, groans, and whines while you were completely restrained.

well, you suppose it's a bit ironic. considering that you were the one doing it to him when the both of you were younger. albeit not on this level.

you wonder if this was how he felt. vulnerable, naked, defenseless.

it happened so long ago, but the wounds you inflicted on him were still fresh. no matter how hard you try apologizing, his scars still bleed warm.

you shouldn't have been mean to him. you really shouldn't. especially when he was so much nicer back then.

"mn... you have no idea how much I've wanted to do this. it really makes me happy to see you so..."

he pauses, eyes raking over your form that was tied down to his table.

"so weak."

we've all watched the movies where the bully gets put in place and completely punished. you used to laugh at those films. i mean, how could the bully even be so stupid to get karma for their actions? couldn't they have hid better? tried making up for it? why did they have to go through the consequences of their actions? what idiots!

but now that it's happening to you, you wish you hadn't said those words.

the second you found out that your ex-victim was your boss, you couldn't even as much as utter a word. no, you felt like you were about to have a mental breakdown. especially because you were now his secretary, working for him.

"come on, what happened to that big, scary, and mean ol' bully that i knew? the one that used to pour water over my head and have their friends restrain me?"

his words have a hunt of condescension- no, they were fully condescending. he was mocking you right now. mocking you for your stupidity, mocking you for your actions. and he was absolutely taking pleasure in seeing you in such a weak and reduced state. a shell of the person you once were.

you couldn't do anything but to take it like the loser you were.

"haha, look at you. all tied down and gagged like the dog you are. why don't you bark for me? maybe I'll be nicer if you act like a stupid bitch in heat."

he laughs, hands resting on your clothed abdomen. his hair falls over his eyes, the usual up kept man looking like a mess as he continues to taunt you.

"you know, when i confessed to liking you, i never expected you to bully me. seriously. i thought you'd be like, I don't know, nice about it. if you were nice I don't think I'd have stalked you and do all this. would've courted you normally until you accepted. I'm a patient guy after all."

the words that come out of his mouth have just the tiniest bit of sadness in them. however, it's completely squashed down by the sharp look in his eyes.

"had i known you'd be such an ass about it... I'd have just taken you for myself right there and then. who cares about having a normal relationship, right? as long as you're with me, it's all that matters."

right, like what he was doing right now. ever since you started working for him he's been constantly... acting like he was your boyfriend rather than your boss. constantly giving you gifts, telling you that it was okay that you bullied him because he knows you're just shy and that he'll make things right... the worst part was when he forbid you from interacting with others.

it was fucking creepy.

things were only worsened when he found you on a night out at a bar, flirting with some random stranger. you had wanted to let loose and relieve some stress but it looks like karma loved to see you suffer.

"what are you doing? are you cheating on me?"

what the fuck?! you stare at your boss in horror, freezing in place. quickly turning back to the stranger you were flirting with, you shake your head and apologize, explaining that your boss was just a little weird. why the hell is he even here?!

"look, I'm sorry but he's a bit of a creep and-"

"my darling, i think it's time we go back home. you've had one too many drinks."

that experience was only the start of an even worser time. one that led him to declare to the whole damn world that you were now his in a fit of anger and mania. i mean, he practically has you locked in his house now. and it wasn't even illegal since you agreed to come.

he had called you to sort out some paperwork or whatever and you being his secretary... you couldn't refuse even if you wanted to. so you made your way to his house, all naive and ignorant of what was to come the second he opened those doors to that luxurious mansion of his.

you passed out and the next thing you knew, you were restrained to the table, gagged and staring at him with a half lidded look in your eyes.

god damn it, you should've known better than to believe this crazy guy's words. why would you willingly go to his place where there'd be no one but you two? ugh, stupid, stupid, stupid.

and now you could only express how terrified you were with your eyes and shivering body.

"how cute. how seriously cute. I've always wanted to see you look at me with that expression."

he coos, lips stretched into a smirk as he leans down to your face. his breath hits your skin, cold hands trailing up your chest and to your jaw before he grips hard.

"you're mine. it wasn't clear when i was just a boy but you've always been mine. since the day i let you bullied me, and even right now, I've made it clear. you're mine, and always will be mine."

he's right, you've always been his. why else would this rich and obviously powerful guy just let you bully him? he could've had you gone the second you made a move on him but instead...

"i still remember the slaps and bruises you left on me. ah... you were so cute back then. hitting me like that. should've scarred me too, maybe then I'd see your horrified face whenever i flashed it."

a sadist. you're sure that he's some sort of sadistic masochist.

"oh well, it's no matter. I've done that job for you."

he pulls away, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his bare upper body to you. to say that you were completely terrified would be an understatement. because why the hell was your first name (and his last name btw) painfully carved into his other flawless skin? right above his heart, no less!

"isn't it beautiful? you're forever with me now."

his words send a chill down your body. what the hell, you don't want to be with him at all! and it looks like he sensed that but chose to ignore your feelings.

your boss smiles at you before pulling out a small blade from his pants.

oh hell nah.

"it's your turn, darling."

no no no, you don't like where this is going. your body trashes violently against the cold hard table he had you strapped in, pupils blown wide as adrenaline fills your veins.

"mgh! mf!"

"hey hey, quiet down. it's only fair that i get to do it to you, right? consider this my payback. you had your fun and now I'm having mine."

no! shit shit shit, what are you supposed to do?!

you try shaking your head, sweat forming on your skin as your breath grows laboured. your body continues to trash against the bindings, but it looks like the bindings were done just a little too well.

"hm... should i do it somewhere visible? or maybe... right where your heart would be?"

you shake violently, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"nh! mh!"

"aw, is my little darling about to cry? that's so cute. go on, cry for me. cry for me just like i cried for you."

tears fall down your cheeks as he trails the vlade over your clothes. the sharpness of the item has you shivering, cold dread creeping up your spine at the very thought of that anywhere on your skin.

"hm... since you look so scared, I'll carve my initials instead of my full name. how about that? a good offer if i say so myself."

if you could speak, you'd be cursing and begging him to stop. unfortunately that wasn't the case and your boss took your lack of words as the green light.

"don't worry, I'll kiss your pain away afterwards. it'll be over before you know it."

oh god damn it, you really should've just politely rejected him when he confessed.

[oceaneyesinla]

Horror Games

This is a silly idea. It's also the first time I've written for Bakugo but my Bakugo loving mutuals have converted me (if i've butchered your man and he's horribly out of character, please tell me!!!)

If you can guess what horror game i was thinking of when i wrote this, you get a cookie!

Divider by @/cafekitsune

The only sounds in the room are your breathing, the clicking of your keyboard keys, and the sounds of the game running on the screen in front of you. You’re alone in the apartment, and you decided to make the most of it; you’re playing a horror game, one you’ve wanted to play for a while, and you’ve gone all out. Headphones on, lights out - crafting the perfect atmosphere to get a good scare. It’s not often you play horror games; you’re a scaredy cat, cowering in Katsuki’s arms whenever a horror gets picked for movie night. You’re not much better in real life scenarios - you still haven’t lived down your last trip to a haunted house with Denki, Eijiro, Mina and Kyoka.

You love the story behind these games, though, so you’re willing to be brave. How bad can it be, anyway? You’ve watched so many playthroughs of other people playing - surely the jumpscares can’t get you that badly.

Everything is going well - the chicken is staying the fuck away from you, the fox is keeping its ass behind its curtains where it belongs and you’re already mentally patting yourself on the back. Maybe you are good at games after all.

Then two things happen at once. A giant blue bunny face fills the screen accompanied by a horrifying scream. That alone would have been fine. Scary, but fine. Except that at the same time, the main room light flicks on, surrounding you with unexpected light.

You let out a scream of your own, ripping your headphones off your head and pushing your chair away from the desk. The combined momentum of shoving away and trying to turn around to panic about who or what was turning the light on in your empty apartment makes the chair lose balance and you end up in a heap on the floor, still screaming as your eyes adjust to the brightness. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, your palms sweaty.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Katsuki is already moving towards you, clapping a hand over your mouth to quiet your scream even as he skims the other across your skin, checking for any injuries. His eyes, too, are studying you, crimson gaze watching your expression for any pain.

You wiggle your mouth away from his hand, “What am I doing? What are you doing?! You’re supposed to be out with Eijiro and Denki!” Residual panic is making your voice pitchy and your words rushed.

Now that he’s reassured himself that you’re none the worse for wear after your little impromptu meeting with the floor, Katsuki is doing a terrible job of hiding his laughter, “Kiri got called in for a last minute patrol - we rescheduled for next week. Did you not see my text?”

“Clearly not!” Your fear is wearing off, and Katsuki’s laughter is as catching as ever. Soon, you’re both giggling as he helps you to your feet, rubbing at the skin of your thigh soothingly when you wince at the dull pain there. He tucks you against his chest, pressing a kiss to your head as he murmurs an apology into your hair (even if he doesn’t sound particularly sorry, with laughter still colouring his words).

“Why were you even playing a horror game anyway? You can barely get through a horror movie without hiding behind me. What made you think making it interactive would help?” He’s speaking the truth, but that doesn’t mean you like it. You push him away with a pout, sticking your tongue out at him for good measure. It’s not fair that the smile he shoots you in response makes him look so pretty.

“Alright, c’mon sweetness. I brought cake. Truce?”

You perk up immediately, lips ticking up into a grin as you beam at him. He scoffs at your 180, but still grabs your hand to lead you to the kitchen. You’re already fantasising about the cake he’s about to feed you (and the squirty cream you just know he’s brought home too, just because it’s your favourite) so you stop in your tracks at the finger in front of your nose.

“If you have nightmares tonight, don’t expect me to coddle you. You did this to yourself, sweetness.”

You cross your arms, defiant, “I won’t have nightmares!”

You do. And despite his earlier words, Katsuki still pulls you into his chest and murmurs comfort against your skin, rubbing his warm hand up and down your back until you fall asleep again, slipping into much sweeter dreams of being in his arms.

@pixelcafe-network

[solarwoniii]

heyyy!! just wondering if i could request “zb1 legal line reaction to catching their s/o masturbating” hehehehheheehehe if not all goodzz 💗💗

reaction to catching you touching yourself ! zb1 legal line

smut, crack, some fluff ! includes jiwoong, zhanghao, hanbin, matthew, taerae and ricky

contains ; dacryphilia, punishments, i think thats all? lmk if i missed any T^T

a/n ; THANK U FOR UR REQUEST ♡ HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS

jiwoong ;

would laugh at you but not in a cute funny quirky silly way

that low kind of dominant chuckle that makes you realise.

you fucked up.

he'd pull up a chair beside the bed and insist for you to continue in that same scary tone ur mum talks in when u forget to wash the dishes 😰😰😰😨😨

and then he'll force you to make yourself cum until you're crying while he sat there and watched because you're not allowed to stop until he says.

then he'll finally touch you.

with his fingertips.

just to fuck with you more because he's a petty little bitch

edging you until you're shaking, eyes rolling back, body arching

and then, and only then will you get to cum.

zhanghao ;

finds it cute that you think you're so big and strong now

puts ur ass in its place so fast 🫣🫣

love bites all over you

your body is his canvas and his marks are his art 😵😶

actually, this timing is perfect

he'd been waiting for you to misbehave so he could try out the new vibrator he got for you

edges you again and again, just to rip away your orgasm and have you crying

when you finally cum you both know damn well it's not over 💀 keeps the vibrator in that exact spot and refuses to move it until you cum another three times.

i'm sorry i just think mean dom hao is extremely accurate and attractive

hanbin ;

i think he would genuinely laugh at you 💀

and you would try to be mad at him for laughing at you but his stupid laugh is unfortunately extremely contagious 😭😔

when he's done laughing at you he'll come and help you

i think it would be all giggly and fluffy and cute though

and then you would cuddle naked (i feel like hanbin wld enjoy this so much during aftercare esp idk) and gossip LMFAO

matthew ;

GETS SO SHY I SWEAR JSJSJSJS

THE PERSONIFICATION OF 😳

quickly closes the door behind him before anyone else can see what he's seeing

'd-do u want me to . . .' 'o-oh ok'

he's flustered but he will help you feel good 😭

turns into a cute little mutual masturbation session after u notice the boner building up in his pants from the sight of u T^T

when you both finish he'll clean you up and then be a little cutie patootie

'uhmmm there was this disney movie i really wanted to watch with you so could we maybe do that now ? 👉👈'

taerae ;

just smiles and locks the door behind him when he realises what you're doing

'do you need my help baby?'

he'll sit beside you and replace your hand with his

helps you reach the best orgasm of your life with his skilled fingers

idk i genuinely don't think he would get mad

but he'll remind you that you can always come to him if you're feeling needy.

kisses

so many kisses

he'll give you more than his fingers after as well if you still want more ;))

ricky ;

YEAH THATS RIGHT WE'RE BACK TO PUSSY SLAPPER RICKY BECAUSE MY LOVE MIYUKI PUT THE THOUGHT INTO MY HEAD AND I REFUSE TO LET GO

when he walks in i think he'd get flustered but he'd quickly cover it up because being seen like that by you hurts his precious ego

AGAIN LOW DOMINANT CHUCKLE he takes after jiwoong because he aspires to one day be that cool and strong but u already know he's a cute little softie

'if you wanted me to treat you like a little whore you could've just said so, baby.'

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😶🫣😵😳😰😭😶

gets you up on all fours and spanks your pussy until it's swollen and dripping.

then he'll mark your body up and take photos of you for his little collection 😨

eats you out (prolly makes u sit on his face too bc he's a little freak)

[bakiuwu]

Kinda crazy how the crossover proves why there shouldn't have been one in the first place. Baki and kengen are very different but constantly get grouper together. Like yea, there might be a few similarities/references when it comes to kengen with baki, but like they are both so different, especially for them to take place in the same universe. Like the shit with pickle, so no one on the kengan side heard of pickle even tho everyone in the world was aware of his existence????

There's just so many things wrong with that crossover Like can't get over the fact these mfs barely interact with eachother, everyone's fucking personality was water down and mfs were just cardboard cut outs OR MISCHARACTERIZE SO FUCKING BAD LIKE JACK AND SOME OTHERS, LIKE THEY WAYER DOWN SO MANY BITCHES ITS NOT FUNNY ESPECIALLY JUN like I don't know much about kengan characters but i know DAMN WELL his ass would had been more active then what he was honestly same for everyone.

Like imagine after he said "thoes guys are scary looking" he would follow it up with ".....im go talk to them" then proceed to go over there IDK SOMETHING LIKE he coukd had try placing a bet on who said is gonna win....idk katou could had join in on it THEN THEY ALL COULD HAD INTRO THEMSELVES TO EACHOTHER AND GIVE INTRESTING COMENTSRY MAN IDK I JUST WANTED THESE FUCKERS TO ACTUALLY TALK TO EACHOTHER BUT WAIT THAG ACTUALLY REQUIRES CHARACTER WRITING. It's like Netflix didn't know how to handle two big groups of characters who all have big personalities so they just said fuck it and Sedated everyone.

Another thing....how come characters of the same series weren't interacting with each other??? Like doppo was just off by himself same for shibakuwa...like why and nobody talking to baki like at ALL was very odd to me its like if characters were assigned a role they wasnt allowed to interact with another character outside that role, like how come doppo wasn't sitting with katsumi and the others???....how come katsumi didn't interact with saw ping that would been interesting because ya know both of their dads fought.....but no know of tha....nothing for this to be a crossover bitches weren't really crossing over...I'm sorry but nobody talking to baki really bothers me

Also kinda crazy how the movie did the two things I BEG TO NOT HAPPEN LIKE WTF

the sence with kurhea and the other guy was kinda funny but annoying cause the movie link them together cause they're both doctors....okay and? Theyre still too very different characters....also really they went to med school together....okay that's it, AND YOU DONT SEE THEM AGAIN. WHAT WAS THE POINT. I thought they was gonna to be helping heal people, like there could have been a funny scene of them fighting over who's way the best way of healing a patient...idk man.

Oliva and Julius moments were funny but also annoyed me when I found out they was pair together due to them both using brute strength....like okay

Shibakuwa and the one guy interactions were werid, he was so out of character LIKE WHY WAS HE ANNOYED BY HIM LIKE WTF ALSO REALLY THERE INTERACING BECAUSE OF AKI

Gaia and fucking M's moments were..... disappointing asf, they mischaracterize tf outta gaia like???? SO GAIA WHOLE THING IS SCREAMINF HUH? THATS WHAT YAL GOT FROM HIM LIKE WTF MADE YALL THINK THE FIRST THING HE WOULD DO WAS SCREAM AT A GUY HE IS AWAERE IS FUCKING BLIND ARE YOU DEAD ASS LIKE?????

ALSO WHY ARE THEY SECURITY, ALSO WOWWWW THEY ARE PAIR TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY BOTH DEAL WITH MILTARY SHIT WOOOOOWWW SO CREATIVE

*sigh* I think the most disappointing one was baki and ohma I wanted them to be silly besties so bad but Netflix literally gave me nothing ALL THEY DID WAS STARE AT EACHOTHER AND LOOK AWAY LIKE WHERE WAS THE FUNNY MOMENTZ LIKE WTF, ALSO THE "your just like me" FUCK OFF YALL GAVE THESE TWO NOTHING

How did yall fumble these interactions so bad....also Jack being water-down to "guy who does drugs".....really piss me off and the fact they couldnt make a original fight for him and raian says alot like they fucked him over so bad....im not over this.

The movie was made to fucking quick it need more time and actually writing before being released. It's also so clear how they didn't want to hurt anyone's fucking feelings so they made sure it was only 3 fights so it could be fair and end on a fuck ass draw.....bullshit like I was hoping to GOD it would end on everyone going to eat but nope....nothing

Also, pickle being there was so???? Unneeded like It felt out of place like the moment between him and ohma was kinda cute but like okay? After that he just left and no one from kengan seem...to give a fuck tha he was a caveman/ seem to notice....okay

ALSO im sure this takes place after the father and son fight (cause they reference the face baki made during his fight with yujiro) so having pickle interrupted the fight was so????? Especially if he learn his manners when baki scold him for trying to interrupted his......hmm a

Also yujiros moment felt a little off cause like don't get me wrong, his moments were fun, but like the way he just left cause him and the guy got screamed at for "ruining"the fun like???? IT was funny but so rushed, also him knowing the niko style..."So you're the one that guy he taught that style to." okay....also, his interactions with the other guy were weak as shit

Last thing....this shit....

PISSED ME OFF SO BAD AT FCUJING FIRST I WAS HAPPY VERY HAPPY BUT THEN WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT......THIS DOENSNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE ITS LIKE THEY JUST PUT THEM JN TIT JUST TO PUT THEM IN IT OMFG WHA WAS THE POINT??? LIKE SPEC IS CANONLY IN A FUCKIN COMA, DORIAN IS NOT MENTALLY THERE SO WHO TF BROKE HIM OUT, WHEN TF DID DOLYE BREAK OUT??? THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE CANONLY OUT ARE SKIORSKY AND YANGI BUT EVEB THEN WHY WOULD THEY FUCKING GROUP UP??? JUST TO FIGHT THIS GUY ALSO....REALLY PAIRIG UP THE GUY WHO IS ALL ABOUT JUSTICE WHITH THE CONVICTS WOWWWWW HOW CREATIVE.....omfg this is so stupid also WHY SKIORSKY AND DORIAN THE DAME HEIGHT AS SPEC???. LIKE DUDE

(Like a small part of this is funny cause they dont have a clue in the world skiorsky is living hjs besr life in a small apartment with his boyfriend, also like to imagine skiorsky was here cause he was picking up gaia.....)

yea ....it took me less then 24 hours that day to realize how much I hated this shit

[tobyislame]

Hi this is awkward s/o person again, you have fueled my toby brain and I'd like to make another request (if you're willing)

What would he be like with his s/o on Halloween? Does he dress up with them, get candy, or maybe stay home and watch scary movies with them? And very important question...if he dresses up, who would he dress up as?

toby rogers x reader: HALLOWEEN EDITION!!!!

welcome back friend!!! i will always be willing i love your requests!! OHOHOHO i am going to get soo silly with this one

- toby goes fucking BALLISTIC over halloween oh my god. it's the only time of the year where he can go into town and just be normal. everyone's got masks on, everyone's donning costumes, so he blends in like butter on bread. being able to exist in a public space without so much as a dirty look is fucking elating, it's one of the only graces of normalcy that he gets and he milks the opportunity for everything its got. what most would treat like any other day, he treats like a paragon. for one night he isn't toby rogers, wanted dead or alive - he's just some guy.

- he's suuuper fucking annoying about it too. he wants to do ALL the halloween stuff and he WILL drag you along with him whether you want it or not. his mansion buds aren't exempt from this treatment either no one is safe

- before night falls and the real fun begins, you guys are staying in and he's making SURE you have a good day. he's got those cheap halloween cookies in the oven (you know the ones they got pumpkins on em), his place is done up with lights and tacky dollar store decorations, and he's got a pot of apple cider simmering on the stove that mixes with the woodsy smell of his cabin just fucking beautifully. he tries really hard.

- he gets really fucking into it, and you can't help but find his admittedly childlike excitement over it a little endearing. if you ever commented on it, about how he hardly gets this excited over anything else, he'd probably just get all weirdly defensive and dismissive over it. he's been this way about it since he was a kid, never really grew out of it. even after everything.

- he's putting out a SPREAD of treats for you guys: candy corn, caramel corn, the works. can't have it any other way if you're marathoning slashers. there's a sort of unmentionable effort he puts into it with the halloween paper plates he goes out of his way to get (steal), one of those little details that puts this subdued warmth in your chest. he wants to make everything nice for you. he wants for you to have good things.

- you two. on his pilled up couch. grandpa sweaters. steaming apple cider in thrifted (stolen) mugs. flannel blanket. crackling embers from the log burner. oh yeah baby

- he makes halloween movie watchlists. oh yeah he's serious about this. he only really likes the kind of stuff you can snag off rental store shelves: sleepaway camp for eye candy (we need more slutty slutty men in horror flicks), hellraiser but only the 1987 one, texas chainsaw massacre but only the 1974 one (he's got a crush on leatherface that he'll never admit to anyone or himself), the thing is his fucking FAVORITE horror movie of all time, throw the final destinations in there just for fun, stuff like that. saw movies are his guilty pleasure. even with you, he tries to be some hard-ass and play it off when he gets all spooked and jumpy, though the way he clings to you just a little tighter says something else.

- yea this man has split skulls and gotten brain matter stuck in his hair and horror movies still scare him

- now the most important question: costumes.

- ok i have two visions for what he'd be and in both events he's forcing you to dress up with him: for one i can totally see him throwing on some ferris bueller getup and dragging you along as either sloane or cameron, or y'all are going as bill and ted and he's calling dibs on bill (so he has an excuse to wear a crop top it's totally only for the costume). if you refuse to dress up he will not shut up about how you're "no fun" until you give in

- he also uses the holiday as an opportunity to terrorize the general public. you guys are hiding out in corn mazes and jumping out at whatever poor soul happens to walk by like some surprise scare actor, pretending to be ghosts to scare off the kids who think hanging out at cemeteries makes them cool. he's the village menace. genuinely the HOA puts up a sign saying look out for this guy

- he takes you "trick or treating" but with the biggest quotations ever. he'll go around to the houses that just have bowls of candy out with a sign that says "please take one" or something and straight up just take the bowl

- when he isn't having (mostly) harmless fun and treating the townspeople like his plaything, he's treating you to some good wholesome traditional halloween activities, and he's a massive sucker for those. like, no fucking question about it he is dragging your ass to the pumpkin patch. if he's lucky he can get a five finger discount on some caramel apples for you two. of COURSE he's hauling some pumpkins home for you guys to carve, even if he'll just inevitably leave them to rot on his porch but he SWEARS he'll throw them out soon he SWEARS

- he insists on going to at least one haunted house even though he's the one that always gets you two kicked out for clocking scare actors. he's banned from most of them

- at some point in the night you'll probably end up crashing some college house party and, even though they scare him shitless, nothing makes him feel more like a guy than standing around with a red solo cup in his hand. he isn't there to make friends anyway (god knows he has no clue how), he's the one that just kinda pets the dog the entire time then leaves

- at the very end of day you guys are falling asleep tangled up in each other on the couch, smoke hanging in the air and the dvd screensaver bouncing around on the tv screen

[drewsbuzzcut]

Halloweekend Night 1

nick moldenhauer x dallas blankenburg

a so it goes fic

warnings: alcohol consumption, minor talks of fake blood, kinda steamy-ish

Dallas adjusts her fake-blood stained tank top, tousles her hair, and turns to Nick, who she had to go with her to the restroom because you can never be too cautious in a frat house. She and Nick are dressed as Sidney Prescott and ghostface from Scream.

“Baby, can you hand me my lipgloss?” He reaches into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out her lip gloss and handing it to her.

Dallas can feel Nick’s stare on her back, creating chills to appear on her skin. He must notice as he places the denim jacket he was holding over her shoulders. She gives him a shy smile, her cheeks flushing when he pulls her back into his body.

“Fuck, my girl is sexy,” Nick says through the device that changes his voice to the one of ghostface. His hand slides the littlest bit under your tank top, dying for some skin to skin contact, she looks down hiding her rosy cheeks. Definitely not from the alcohol she’s been drinking.

“Don’t hide,” he says, again through the voice changing device.

Dallas shakes her head with a chuckle, her hair flowing flawlessly. She reaches up to wrap her arms around his neck, staring into the eyes of his mask.

“Nicky baby, you look really good. Like exceptionally hot. Best looking person here. Thank you for doing this with me,” she compliments him, knowing his cheeks are turning a million shades of red.

The most beautiful shades of red that are only produced by the guy she fancies.

“You’re the best looking one here,” he says back in his normal voice.

Oh how she doesn’t know that he’d do anything for her.

She looks down again, hiding her blush, still not used to his compliments.

“We should head back out,” she grabs his hand to lead him back to their spot.

“Wait. One more thing. What’s your favorite scary movie?” He asks the question through the voice changer.

Dallas rolls her eyes playfully before exiting the bathroom with him in tow.

“You tell me and you better not get it wrong,” she spits back with a teasing glare.

Nick’s heart flutters at the sight of her. He’s one lucky guy.

She’s one lucky girl.

Nick sits on an abandoned stool, pulling Dallas to sit on his thigh.

They both sit there for a while, listening to Rutger and Luca argue over something silly all while they’re both just secretly touching each other. Once any drop of alcohol enters the girl’s bloodstream, she is clingy and needy. Nick loves it.

“Baby?” She leans closer to the boy to whisper in his ear.

“Can we go get a drink?” It’s really her way of trying to get some sort of privacy.

Nick nods his head, leading her to the kitchen. As he’s headed to the cooler, Dallas is tugging on his arm and dragging him to a spot that she deems secluded.

“I thought you wanted a drink?” Nick asks, confused.

“I want you more,” she whispers, bringing her body closer to his so that their chests are pressed together.

Dallas lifts the cloth of the ghostface mask he’s wearing that covers his neck, letting her lips softly glide over his skin. His hands plant themselves on her hips, his grip tight. She pecks his skin before she starts to leave soft, wet kisses on the pulse point of his neck. She feels his moan rattle in his throat, his body vibrates at her attention. The moment Dallas starts sucking on his skin, he’s melting into a puddle. The moans continuously fall from his lips as he leans his head back to give her more access. His hands travel lower, squeezing the flesh of her ass, desperately wishing it was bare and not denim clad.

Secretly, Nick brings a hand up so he can thumb at one of her nipples over her tank top. Dallas thought it’d be a great idea to forgo wearing a bra. It was.

A low whine claws its way out of her throat, her body instinctively leaning more into his hand. She lets out a huff, taking off Nick’s mask, so she can finally have his lips on hers. She doesn’t even get the chance to pull him down as he’s pulling her in first. His plump lips lock with hers, it’s fast and hot. Her hands twist and pull on his hair, and Nick doesn’t fight the urge to kiss and suck along her jaw down to her collarbones. He leaves matching marks on her skin. Her head is tilted back, too enthralled in pleasure to even care if her actions are lewd.

“I want you,” Nick says into her burning skin, solidifying his words with a lick over the mark on her collarbone.

Dallas feels every ounce of lust surge through her body, standing up on her tiptoes to press his body into the wall. Her hand comes up to rest on his neck while her lips reconnect with his. It’s almost ravenous as they bite and pull on each other’s bottom lip, her hand applying more force on its hold. Nick loves when Dallas gets like this. He loves to see her take control, knowing she’s only like this with him. She’s shoving her tongue down his throat while he’s thrusting a leg in between hers. She just about sheds all her clothes at the fraction of friction she’s feeling.

“I was wondering why you guys were taking forever, but it looks like you’re about to christen the frat house. Don’t forget to wrap it up, Nicky boy, we don’t need to be uncles just yet,” Luca says, interrupting the couple.

Dallas leans her forehead on Nick’s chest, breathing heavily and body still thrumming with need. If it were anyone else that walked in on them, they probably would’ve pulled apart, but seeing as Luca has walked in on them more than once, it’s not really a big deal.

“Only I can call him Nicky,” Dallas retorts.

“We’re headed out. Are you good or do you want to walk with us?” Nick asks the other hockey player, shoving his face in her neck, kissing his girl repeatedly while she squeals and squirms.

“I’m good. See you guys tomorrow,” Luca says, walking away, no doubt not wanting to be a third wheel.

“Your place or mine?” His hand caresses her cheek, thumbing away the dried up fake blood.

“Mine,” she answers, ready for privacy with her boy.

Maybe even include a round with Nick wearing his ghostface mask. Maybe.

a/n: First Halloween mini fic! Enjoy lovelies!

[ask-chandl3r]

INTRO !!

[ OUT OF CHARACTER 🎀 ]

HAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII im Allie n i use they/them :) uhhhh im a minor so please no freaks, u can make minor jokes n stuff abt nsfw if u too are a minor but if ur an adult please dont make s3x jokes at me.. im okay most chan x female ships, just nothing really toxic like chan x martha or smthing, incest, pedo, that sort of shit + chan x male she's a lesbo, kurt n ram can be how they are just nothing TOO FAR cuz it makes me uncomfy my main blog is @allie-ggggay come say hi... im cool i swear.... please start convo's w me tumblr is scary n i cant start them myself this is BEFORE she died btw!! adding on some boundaries, pretty pretty please no fatherless "jokes" they arent funny and make me super uncomfy for personal reasons no kurt, ram and jd defenders please, they're 🍇ists and tahts legit theyre whole character, they are not silly fella's they a gross ass bitches

[ IN CHARACTER 🎀 ] ugh i saw duke doing this so i guess i'm doing the same im THE Heather Chandler, so martha dumptruck is not allowed!! ❌❌ im just 16,, duke is my fav heather shes nice not cuz i like her or anything, gross IM NOT LESBIAN.

[ HEADCANON'S 🎀 ] she has movie chan hair so curly strawberry blonde,, 🍓🍓 she's not super super skinny she has some oomf (ngh i love her) chan has lots of freckles on her face, stomach, arms and thighs, most cover her face/cheeks, she has some stretch marks but hates them deeply and she has a problem with picking and scratching acne and scabs too she's the youngest out of the heathers (16 while others are 17) her, duke and mac are very touchy so if u call it gay she'll be very confused cuz she thinks its normal, like who doesnt hug and cuddle with their homies and kiss them goodnight?? Closeted Lesbian + Hypersexual n undiagnosed ADHD chan covers her eye bags with makeup vro does NOT sleep chans dad is homophobic and transphobic and doesnt like it when duke comes over cuz she trans n stuff she's really passionate about jewellery and bracelets, once you get her talking on it theres no stopping her, she loved how pretty they can be and the meanings behind some ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ anyway pls come say hi... i spend ages tryna do this intro

[twwings]

Big Festivids Recs Post!

Last weekend was the big Festivids GoLive, which meant the release into the wild of 160 brand new small fandom vids (aka fanvids, edits, etc.) Right now the collection's anonymous, but tomorrow is vidder reveals, so I wanted to write up a recs post for some of my absolute favourites from this year's collection. If you know Yuletide, well, Festivids is like Yuletide, celebrating small/weird/underappreciated fandoms! It's an exchange fest, so people ask for the small fandom vids of their heart and, then, receive one.

Honestly the collection this year is SO high quality, you should really go and browse the works yourself in their entirety; there are so many vids that I absolutely loved that I didn't put on this recs list, because I was trying not to get carried away (and also trying to get it done). But just to get you started, here are a smattering of my favourites. I tried to represent a bunch of vid genres and source types here, but ultimately it's just my taste.

RECS RECS RECS!

Andor: Level Up

AHHHH this is a vid about Andor and fascism and collective action and One Way Out and it's so gorgeously done. Perfect song choice, perfect vid, makes me cry and I will rewatch it many times.

Andor: be ready and be brave

Focusing on Ferrix, its history, its people, and its revolution. Absolute chills. Also I'm SO happy whenever I get to watch a vid to a Mountain Goats song.

Mosquita y Mari: como siempre soñé

Such a sweet, soft, slow romance vid. I ACHED for these two. Like reading a 300k slowburn but in three and a half minutes.

Dropout TV: Nothing in my Head

The Dropout TV vid of my DREAAAAAMS! (largely Game Changer but with lots of stuff in there!)

Taskmaster UK: Blood in the Cut

UHHHH. IT'S AMAZING??? It's hot and raw and kinky and hardcore. the vidder has the delicate, precise touch of a bloody scalpel. Yes, this is a vid for Taskmaster, the UK show where comedians do silly tasks. Because yeah, it's that show, but it's also this show.

Slash/Back: Uja

This vidder KNOWS how to vid horror. The way this vid cuts the most terrible images to make them barely-there, more horrifying for being rough slaps against my consciousness . . . yikes. Amazing vidding, super cool and scary, while also maintaining the uplifting, kickass, hopeful tone you want from a collective-action horror movie.

Janelle Monae: I Like That

Glorious, joyful, sexy celebration of being a free-ass motherfucker.

Star Trek: Lower Decks: Hard Times

Boimler vid about how he's essentially a redshirt who is just slightly too sweet to actually die. Absolutely adorable and hilarious.

Woman King: Upside Down

Absolute BANGER of a vid, great cuts, great movement, great character arc and great Dahomey women being amazing.

Romeo + Juliet: Magnetic

We all agree Harold Perrineau is the best Mercutio, SO, with that in mind, here is a flawless celebration of the best Mercutio.

Knives Out/Glass Onion: 'Til You Hit a Nerve

Brilliant comparison vid putting Marta from the first film together with Helen and Andi from the second one, drawing out the similarities and dissimilarities in a visual feast and with a badass powerwalk. Nothing not to love!

David Cronenberg's Films: body

This one is phenomenal. It takes David Cronenberg's entire filmography and condenses it into a vid about all the sexualized body horror. It is deeply horny and deeply disturbing and deeply fascinated by every single finger going into a hole in a body that shouldn't be there. It's soft and tentative and it's very graphic and violent, all at once.

The Wheel of Time: Velodrome

Tower politics and circularity and being bound to one another in every good way and every bad way; what a beautiful vid. I love how this is about a place, and about how that place draws these people together over and over in their shared experience and love and trauma.

The Midnight Sky: The Laughing Heart

Absolutely gorgeous vid of the film to a spoken word + music rendition of Charles Bukowski's "The Laughing Heart" (there is a light somewhere). I have not seen this film but I found this vid deeply moving.

Moby Dick: Queequeg and I

There are four (FOUR!!!) Moby Dick vids at Festivids this year, and they are all amazing combinations of a huge smorgasboard of sources, I heartily recommend them all, but I'll specifically rec two. This one is Queequeg and Ishmael to "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and it is the sweetest queerest thing ever. Queequeg and Ishmael get a happy ending shhhhh they do shhhhh yes this is how it happened they came out of the water they're fine

Moby Dick: a vulture feeds upon the heart forever

This vid is a fucking masterpiece. It is a huge archival multisource Moby Dick vid that weaves all these incredibly different visual together to make a coherent, tragic narrative. And like. The BOOK is not a coherent narrative! This is such gorgeous and amazing fanwork. Don't miss out on it.

Women's 100m Sprinting: Didn't Come to Play

This is GORGEOUS, I don't know anything about sprinting but I know I love these beautiful joyful powerful women running really fast and hugging each other and being amazing. The editing on this is so tight; the vid never stops for a second. Like a sprint?!?!?!

The Golem and the Jinni: סיפור הגולם

This is another book vid, but since this book doesn't have any adaptations, it's using entirely archival source and probably some documentaries and films to construct the story - or, really, construct the vibe of the book, construct the metaphors of the book, and the result is beautiful and powerful and meditative. It's about survival, and making life.

Jesus Christ Superstar: Hope on Fire

This is another umbrella vid, where the vidder is taking a bunch of different productions of the play and mashing them together. This vid focuses on Judas and Jesus/Judas, and it all feels so inevitable and tragic and real and cruel. I really loved it.

Jordan Peele's Films: Goodbye, Honey, You Call That Gone

This is such a wonderful mashup of Jordan Peele's three films, exploring all the parallels and differences and just the rich tapestry of his imagery.

猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin: Put It On Me

I don't know this source but this was just so gorgeously put together; there's a focus on art and art objects, on hands moving and creating, that's just mesmerizing.

[whole-circus]

Creepypastas as stereotypical horror movie characters!

➥ with Jeff The Killer, Homicidal Liu, Masky, Ben Drowned, Sally Williams, Eyeless Jack, Nina The Killer, "Ticci" Toby, Jane The Killer From horror movies lover to innocent souls! >:3

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff The Killer

Hear me out - Jock of the group. You know, this "manly men", who would bully you in a free time if he is not playing in football (or other balls hehe). Absolute jerk! Laughs at the rest of the group for being afraid. Act like he is not scared at all and often curse at the killer, saying that he will beat his ass - on the inside tho? He is shaking from fear! Propably would die as one of the first :)

☆ Homicidal Liu

He would be a tragic hero, the one had normal life but shit happend. Have a high chance of surviving but propably sacrifies himself, so others could live. But if he survive? Oh my, at what cost? All of his friends are dead, everything he loved is now ruined..but hey, maybe he can monetize his traumatic experience to pay for therapy!

☆ Masky

Totally the responsible and a bit sceptic at first one. Initially, he doesn't really believe what others are saying. Thinks that others are going crazy or just doing pranks. He is sure everything can be explained! The one to be smart enough to outstand the killer and he maintain to be calm. And just tired from babying therest of the group. For some reason, he would mostly die anyway..propably on silly way, that angers audience.

☆ Ben Drowned

The stoner one..The guy that is almost always high and also can be a comic relief! The best character to put your guard down, with him on the screen you will almost forgot what you watch! Well, maybe until someone get killed..He also make the stupidest jokes - but come on, we love them! Someone gets stabbed? Bleeds? Haha look - period! Oh man..the killers attacks? Nah, he can wait - its time to get high! Dies in the most stupid way (propably not from killers hands) or! survives! - we have no idea how.

☆ Sally Williams

She is the scary kid! You remeber Grady twins from Shining? She is both of them! At the same time! Propably will be seen as innocent and cute, you just want to protects her..But dont be fooled by her sweet apperance! If you are not careful, you cant blame her for standing at your bed with knife in the middle of the night! Sally would scare the shit out of viewers. Lights suddenly goes out? Oh man.. We can see that coming!

☆ Eyeless Jack

What a nice and quiet fellow...No way he could be a killer! Jack is definitely the quiet one who turns out to be a killer. Always sweet, always caring - propably besties with the main character. He helps hiding from the killer, setting traps and trying to find clues to discover identity of main antagonist. Just wait till the end, when the identify of masked killer will be uncovered! He is also the perfect type to be a masked slasher becasue well..he is hot, alright?

☆ Nina the Killer

Hot, joyful, a bit too naive and in mini skirt! There she is! The bimbo one! Propably the best friend of the final girl. Have no idea what is going on..but hopes she will flirt her way out of killers hands! Of course the most fanserviced one, if the horror have sex or pool scenes, she is in. In the first 5 minutes of the movie you will see her boobs. Won't run becasue she dont want to ruin her shoes. We all love her but lets be honest - she will die first.

☆ "Ticci" Toby

Every movie need the crybaby one, this one character that will be scared of anything - his shadow included. Will never ever want to split up, he would put the handcuffs on the whole group if he could. A scary noise? In the middle of the night? Oh hell no, lets pretend that nothing happened and stay in safe room. All the wacthers have enough of him! Please, just let this guy die... Despite his fearful spirit, he has a high chance to come from this nightmare alive (sadly for audience).

☆ Jane the Killer

Badass girls, who doesn't love them? Also pretty and smart? Can fight?? Thats her, thats the final girl! Bravely fights till the end. Her will to live is way stronger than killer hands. Will try to help everybody make it, but at the end all her friends are dead anyways. Well..at least the blood suits her. Propably will live a somehow calm yet traumatized life, well until the next part of movie!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[tyrantisterror]

Can you elaborate on what you mean by calling Adam Sandler's take on Dracula "half-assed"?

In terms of both design and personality, what do you find dissatisfying about him?

I think that the "overprotective father desperately wants to keep his daughter safe after the death of his wife" angle does have some potential, but HT being HT its overall not a deep or challenging story, but I'm still interested in your opinion on how they handled it, as well as the attempted message about prejudice and acceptance with the "monsters live in fear of human persecution" plot point?

Again, this is a movie I watched only once, and several years ago at that. I don't really have a lot of analysis to give!

Visually, he’s the bare minimum one would expect from a cartoon Dracula - a how to draw book level of stock character design. Maybe even less than bare minimum, since he doesn't even have red eyes most of the time, because heavens forbid our cartoon vampire looks even a little scary.

Performance-wise, it's like every other Adam Sandler character, i.e. just Adam Sandler with an optional silly voice. In this case, said silly voice is the most low effort Bela Lugosi impression I've ever heard.

Half assed.

And the movie's writing just felt very by the numbers to me - nothing stood out as bad, but nothing stood out as noteworthy either. You can get better versions of everything it's doing elsewhere. The only thing it had going for it was good animation, but you can get that same animation quality from more interesting movies.

[monstersinthecosmos]

I have no intention of watching the new IWTV show, but I was wondering why you think Armand's characterization was so bad. I kinda hated how Antonio Banderas played him in the 1994 movie (not on its own, just in comparison to the books - I feel like his personality/demeanor was totally different), so it's sad that they still haven't gotten him right... Judging from pictures alone, I did think the casting for him was more fitting this time. Anyway, just curious to hear your thoughts!

Oh man!!!!!!!!! I do wanna say up front, I think Antonio was NOT A GREAT ARMAND but I like those scenes in the movie so much because they feel SO RICEY to me. Like I LOVE Movie!Armand even though he isn't Book!Armand, and if you read IWTV in good faith it's the only book that doens't harp on Armand looking like a smol uwu cherub so like ! SURE. He definitely still brings the calm nurturing mentor vibe in a huge way and the scenes in his room feel the most like the books to me.

I also know from the director's commentary that they specifically wanted Armand to look like that so that the Europe vampires would feel like OLD WORLD SCARY vs like, another twink lol. So he's got a little more of a tropey Dracula vibe going on and I think like as a visual contrast it works really well.

As far as the show; I think Assad is EXCELLENT. And like the whole fandom was joking even when the credits hit IMDB that it was gonna be Armand because everyone was like "OHH ARRIGHT.. LOUIS'S """""ASSISTANT"""""" OKAY !" so like I was one of the conspiracy theorists looking for clues the whole time. And his MANNERISMS are dead on and gave him away before anything else did. I have zero issue with the actor, I think he's so spooky and a complete smokeshow which Armand DESERVES. And I wish I could like the show for him, I really do! But it's just NOT WORKING FOR ME.

I'll put the rest under a cut cause it got lengthy and I'm not trying to like be a downer on anyone's dashboard but TLDR the show is so completely unrecognizable to me and I think it would've been so much better as an original concept, and personally I'm not excited by randos who share names with the books I read. The show is a hit! People really like it! But idk like showing me these two random ass men and saying "Hey this is Daniel and Armand" doesn't excite me because the story they're showing me actually ISNT Daniel and Armand lol. I'm here for the story!!! I'm not here for Easter Eggs!

Here's my main few gripes with how they wrote Armand which I find mega disappointing:

He spends 6.9/7 episodes pretending to be Louis's assistant named Rashid. WHY! LOL. Why would he do that! DANIEL DOESN'T REMEMBER HIM ANYWAY SO WHY???????? I DONT UNDERSTAND. Like Armand is a weirdo but is he THIS WEIRD? idk. idk.

The show also (in my opinion!) horrifically botched Lestat, but there's like this grain of doubt because the show has a theme of memory being unreliable, so the speculation is that maybe Armand planted a skewed version of events in Louis's head? Even the show runner sort of hinted at this? LIKE I HATE THIS?? Because if we get to S2 and it turns out that Lestat's been misrepresented, it then turns the tables and makes it that ARMAND is the one who's horrifically botched????? Like I'm all for silly Armand jokes and memes and whatever but like. sigh idk i just looked really forward to this show and hoped to see Armand on screen and I didn't really want a meme version of him. ((Also as an aside I really dislike the unreliable memory themes on the show the way they're presented because like the books frame unreliable narration as like interpretive and emotional but the vampire lore canonically is that they have like mega supernatural photographic memory? idk. If memory is faulty because they still have that human fallibility it's one thing unless they're saying Armand planted memories in Louis's head??? idk idk.))

And like speaking towards whether or not Armand is a person who would plant false memories in Louis's head; I concede that he psychically influenced Louis to join him in IWTV but like. ARMAND IS A NUANCED CHARACTER WHO ACTS FROM A PLACE OF NEED AND HURT. And idk it's just so fucking clunky I can't imagine the manipulation taking this type of shape. There's just, to me LOL, a huge difference between the mental nudge of "You are lonely and you need guidance please come with me" and "Lestat was a horrific domestic abuser." And like. idk. Just within the package of the whole rest of the season, this team has the subtlety of dropping a fucking piano so I just have no trust in them to write him with any sense of nuance.

AND THE BIGGEST OFFENSE THAT I'M JUST COMPLETELY DISGUSTED BY IS THAT HE'S A DAYWALKER?????????????????????????????????????????????????

I just hate the daywalking shit so fucking much I can't even start. Like the show changes a lot of the lore which is fine whatever it's their show change lore if you feel like it whatever but like. ARMAND'S ENTIRE LIFE IS THEMATICALLY BOOKENDED BY DARKNESS. He grows up in a CAVE. He lives in a CULT BENEATH A CEMETARY. He tries to KILL HIMSELF by GOING INTO THE SUN.

Like. And he's only 500? That's like adolescent for a vampire LOL.

There were a couple times in the season where they had some continuity errors on the show!lore so I got the vibe that the writers didn't really care about all the VAMPIRE STUFF which is kinda disappointing to me bc I'm a nerd lol but it felt like they used Armand in the sun to just give the audience a red herring and it came across as really cheap to me. So I wouldn't put it past this team to kinda be like DAYWALKING SURE LOL and not really take it seriously or think about the larger picture of how that unfolds for the character over more seasons.

IT'S WHATEVER, I JUST. I know it wouldn't make good television but I like VC because it's like existential dread and consuming darkness, I want it to hurt me, I want it to feel bleak, I want Armand's entire arc to be about how much he struggles with the idea that there's no God. It just feels like if you can make it a few centuries and be able to withstand the sun, what's the fucking point? What sacrifice did you make for being immortal? Especially for a character like Armand who so fully believes himself to be damned and would never want to make another vampire, would never subject even an enemy to it.

Especially bc like in the show the vampires can like ? Smoke? And have sex? And they can eat food (even though it tastes like paste but they can eat food). IF YOU CAN SMOKE AND FUCK AND GO IN THE SUN YOU'RE JUST A GUY. Where's the fucking DAMNATION OF IT ALL? Also what's the fucking point of Those Who Must Be Kept if you can go in the sun lol. I just . Ugh what a clusterfuck.

The show turns vampirism into more of a power fantasy than the way the books treat it as damnation or a symbol of being othered so it doesn't really mesh with like, my idea of VC and what I want out of it.

So Armand being a daywalker = Instant Nope From Me. I'm not interested in whatever they're trying to sell me lol.

A few other things that are NOT confirmed but generally just giving me the ick that I worry about:

I really, really, deeply, truly, hated how they wrote Claudia's character and how they wrote about rape, and that gives me a really bad feeling about how they'd potentially tackle Armand's canon background. The two options are: They don't, and he's a completely different character with a different background, with completely different context for his personality/motivations/etc (in which case who the fuck cares he's just some guy who shares a name with the book I like, and not really Armand), or: They GO THERE and it's just extremely heavy handed and insensitive and not fun to watch. I think show!Claudia maybe has more in common with Armand than book!Claudia because they aged her up to be a teenager so it's just, yikes. THEN AGAIN ARMAND IS NO LONGER A TEENAGER ON THE SHOW?

And to that point like. I don't need a bunch of fucking conservatives getting in my face about how I want to see a teenager sexualized because that's not the point; logistically for TV it makes sense that he's older, but again, it changes his backstory so much. imho, Armand being turned as a teenager and looking like a teenager is a huge element of his character! It's important! It just is! And I'm sorry that the show decided that the vampires could have sex, because they invented this problem for themselves! If they kept the canon lore you wouldn't have to see them have sex anyway LOL.

I also was not a fan of the truncated timeline of the show; season 1 takes place in like 30 years I think? And covers from the beginning of the story until Lestat's murder. And I believe Louis will meet Armand in the 1940s; they have the original interview in the 70s and they're together then, and they're together in the present in 2022. Idk I'm just not impressed; humans can get divorced after 30 years too, what's the point of having immortal characters if you're not gonna stretch out the timeline? And so much happens for Armand and Louis in canon and I have no idea what's happened or not happened on the show yet, no one's really sure which events have happened yet in the present day segments of the show. So like idk there's just a lot of Armand/Louis stuff to be smushing into 70 years lol and I'm bummed that they're rushing through the timeline so much.

So I just. Sigh. There's a lot of themes in VC that I really adore that the show doesn't care about, like being VERY OLD and NEVER SEEING THE SUN AGAIN but. I'm in the minority on this one because people love the show LOL. I'm happy for everyone who likes it, but it's not for me.

And like. Just! I knew going in that it would be the Loustat Show, I think everyone knew that, I didn't have huge expectations for Armand/Daniel content but it's such a small part of the books that like it would've been nice to get a couple scenes or some gifs out of it or whatever. It just sucks that like they SET UP the series in a way that the Devil's Minion won't happen on screen. And it sucks that like, depending how long the show runs for or how long AMC retains the rights, this might be the only chance in my lifetime that I had to see Devil's Minion on screen and it's not going to happen.

It's just a bummer man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry to anyone who likes the show lol I just found it to be like mega disappointing and I don't think I'm going to watch S2, I'm too upset about Armand & Daniel LOL.

[the-arceo-analysis]

How do our detectives handle scary movies?

yaay silly questions!! i love answering small things like this as if the crew aren't receiving significant trauma on a day to day basis that they will NOT recover from . the sort you develop mental illness over i think amani is a big movie fan in general... she's also a big foodie so. !! you bet your ass she's watching like,, all of the scream series with several buckets of popcorn. also she's not super afraid but she is incredibly mad that the protagonists keep going into the dark basement to check out suspicious noises

cyrus would rather read a scary book (yeah yeah we get it mr smart guy you like books) but he'd definitely not pass up a movie night with friends (helena.,, ,. heln.e helena.) he'd probably scream at jumpscares tho sorry this guys such a . so. grabs him by the face and throws him. anxiety riddled wimp

i don't think daiyu would be a big fan,, even though she's a real tough gal i think her childhood trauma would keep her off of stuff like that. if it isn't obligatory she isn't subjecting herself to it

helena adores them. a little scared but just loves enjoying media,, probably older ones too, so she can point out all the stupidly obvious fake gore and terrible acting so its a little less spooky

matthew.., i think. would sit there like a stone through the whole movie but then sleep under the covers for a couple days. hes so pathetic and i hate him so much. have i mentioned that i hate matthew duran? i hate matthew duran. guys i hate matth-

kieran !! i think., , i don't think he's seen many. worked a lot when he was little so not a whole ton of experience with them but would probably enjoy them!! through hours of screaming. poor guys probably shaking and smiling can't decide if he loves it or hates it

sean,, sighs. holds my heart. frowns really big. he wouldn't watch one for himself. but if someone asked him to go out and watch one with them so they feel safer or just to hang out he absolutely would,, would probably look away during the gore scenes though, given his trauma .,, poor fella

ormr . is ormr. has no interest wasting time with movies ?? but has probably seen one or two with poseidon or adrien . hated both of them. probably jumped at the jumpscares though . mans fight or flight is always on and he is immediately prepared to fight.

poseidon is such a drama queen he would pick out the absolute scariest movies in theatre and then lock all his doors and check all her cupboards and under his bed and then barely sleep for weeks. i hate him he's such a goof

[manofthepipis]

Here are my own Addison/Spamton headcannons to add on! :]

(buckle up cause I got a lot)

If Spamton tries to talk about personal memories that he tried very hard to bury, (like his puppitfication), he physically cant. If he talks about a memory that overwhelms him his body would spaz out in glitches and error signs. (kinda like a system crash)

I feel like if the Adds were to get the grasp of healing magic, the first one to perfect it would be Clicks. (bc he already makes tea that heals you!)

Sponsor owns a motorcycle! (because they thought it made them look cool) And regularly takes it out for a spin when he's done with work for the day.

Survey is a secret horror fan, and when having movie nights with the other adds, they would always recommend horror movies that they personally like.

I feel like Banner really focused on clothing after Spamton went missing, (he only really did this as a side hustle/hobby beforehand) as it was a good distraction and a way to cope, and he found out he was really good at it! And made it his primary business.

When an addison gives a gift with no underlying intention/price tag attached, it is seen as a sign of a genuine friendship, familial, or courtship relations, (like when they all gifted Spamton the new phone) as all addisons are selfish in nature

Clicks 1000000000% cried at the Barbie movie and has a poster of her in his room lololol

Sponsor absolutely LOVES those shitpost videos on TikTok, like that smurf-cat that's been trending recently? his feed is FULL of videos like that

Its hard for Spamton to open up for a variety of reasons, because he HATES it when people give him pity, he's been dealing with that his whole life, and knows that bigshot's don't get those looks.

Along with fashion, Banner is CRAZY good at makeup, and that's when he and Clicks have most of their gossip sessions when doing Clicks makeup when they're hanging out together

Survey has a soft spot for holiday seasons (not just because of shopping sales and spike and sales, cause all addisons are scrambling when october hits,) but also because it's a time they feel all warm and fuzy with their family :]

To add on to the motorcycle thing, Banner was very against Sponsor getting one, as he heard about horror stories on those "death traps" (his words)

to add on to the one above, Sponsor didn't wear a helmet once, (cause he only needed to go like, a street down to grab something,) and Banner gave him HELL. bro went on a whole rant about Bike saftey and Sponsor always wore a helmet after that incident (a mad banner is very scary! cause i hc that he always keeps his chill) (Banner is not beating mom friend allegations)

Jevil LOVES messing with Clicks the most, as he's the drama queen, and his reactions are hilarious cause he HATES the clown. Jevil will do things like change his wallpaper, take secret selfies, or just flat out jumpscare him because it never gets old...

Sponsor is a BEAST at Just Dance, like, bro is doing breakdancing for every single song, and he WILL make EVERYONE do the dances correctly, (as clicks likes to half-ass it by just moving the controller correctly)

Banner is the strongest physically out of all the addisons. Y'know like, that punching bag game in arcades where the harder you punch the bag the more points you get? Banner DEMOLISHED that, and has one of the highest scores still.

Clicks secretly plays dating sim games as a guilty pleasure

also have you seen eviction day yet? If not, I HIGHLY reccomend! I will add a warning for flashing lights and disturbing imagry though, https://youtu.be/fzzGtz4v3YU?si=6-AD5j8qrGARbdM3

but yea! here are my silly lil headcannons for the silly lil guys :]

i'm incredibly happy with the energy we've created in the studio today

also known as omg i love these headcanons like this is great food hfjdksjdjdks

the first one i also share! and it's a bit of why i headcanon swatch feels distant from spamton out of everybody he talks to. Like they were rlly close at one point and talked a lot, and swatch was his shoulder at high stress points in his job. However when the Horrors happened, he physically couldn't explain anything, leaving swatch to wonder what exactly happened to him and then build up resentment for keeping them in the dark. They even tried to help at first, but help turned to hate real fast when neo got involved.

i love the idea over clicks and spamton maybe bonding over some healing magic, like i had something similar in mind for a future chapter but this rlly has me smiling at the possibilities. spamton would maybe give him some tips- for a price. He IS thinking about trying to capitalize the whole healing gig after all since he's good at it.

banner going into clothing after spamton disappeared makes sense, especially with keeping busy trying to forget about him (it's awful hard to with the mannequins looking the way they do, but maybe that's a good thing in the long run) also i adore the mom friend vibe these headcanons have about him. i'd love to add on to the helmet thing, as I feel Clicks would join him on this (he's protective) but sponsor (and maybe even survey) claims it's fine if it was just once.

i completely agree with surv and the holidays. honestly i feel like they're the most ambitious with holiday sales and are unmatched, kind of peaking during seasonal sales in general (seeing how many survey ads are in place when customer shopping is at an all time high). spamton was indifferent to the holiday craze (cuz even when addisons were at their busiest, he wasn't) but liked when everything settled down after they weren't as busy to talk with him again. I have a picture in mind of survey chilling with spamton and realizing this, how happy he is when they're not busy (and feeling as if he was supposed to be), and being happy in return, if not sympathetic to him.

jevil pranking the adds and being a general nuisance is just so funny to me. gosh i can just imagine the absolute chaos he'd bring to a tea shop, mixing up the names and flavors, upon the other things (especially the wallpaper that has me cracking up with ideas). spamton, at the request (and payment) of clicks, gets jevil to stop (maybe. it's unclear if hes actually stopped completely or if there's smaller pranks here and there) but he secretly finds it hilarious.

overall these headcanons are great and i'm so happy to see them shared

[godteri-takk]

FNAF MOVIE OPINIONS ESSAY WHEN

UM. NOW IG??

Ok so i didn't expect it to be that scary and it wasn't, so thats good. Felt almost like s horror comedy at times x3 THE CUPCAKE WAS SO SILLY <<3 Vanessa was a weird fucking character but i liked her, the others awesome too. The animatronics were sooo cute and silly i love how expressive they were with how they narrowed their eyes x3 that was cute as hell.

Gotta say tho I'm dissapointed as hell they didn't use the CLASSIC music box music Freddy has, like thats his motherfucking theme music COME ON QwQ like they had Foxy singing but not Freddy??? Dude. But its fine cus MatPat was there AND HE SAID IT!!

Oh and Springtrap or whatever the hell was cool i gasped so loud when he showed up like jaw dropped, big eyed like :O and O_O combined. SO COOL! I deadass did not expect him to show up at ALL that was insane and the suit looked so cool. And the contrast between how robot-like the animatromics moved vs how fluidly and human-like he moved was JARRING like you knew there was a living guy in there. Scary!! And the robotic voice was amazing <<3 And so cool when he died like hell yeah brother get springlocked bitch ass.

Also the set was so pretty, looked just like the games fr <<3