#also ignore his clothes they look a bit funky

[smonga]

I can't help but wonder..

[oneatlatime]

The Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World

I'll be watching this two part episode as two separate episodes.

Starting strong with some stunning pastoral views.

I like how Appa's shadow undulates over the clouds.

Is Aang passively airbending at all times when they're on Appa? Otherwise how do they hear each other? Unless it's a windless day and they're flying at walking pace there's no way they would be able to have a conversation.

Can you imagine the freedom of being able to throw yourself into the air with no consequences? Imagine how being able to ignore gravity since (presumably) a very young age would shape your worldview. Aang must look at the world in a fundamentally different way.

Blow dried Momo.

Could Katara stop babying Aang for five minutes?

The perspective is so funky in this shot that Appa looks Momo sized.

Did Gyatso say that Roku specifically would help Aang? He said that someone in that special room would guide him, but the only living creature in there was Momo.

Emotional support Momo. Maybe the help Gyatso spoke of actually was Momo.

Every time Iroh appears I become increasingly convinced that the creators of this show are fans of The Big Lebowski.

I love Iroh weaponizing teenage awkwardness to get himself five more minutes in the tub. I think I can also now declare myself officially used to Zuko's voice. I no longer find it muppety.

This is the environmentalism after school special.

The way this guy talks about flying Bison and airbender tattoos, is he actually old enough to have known airbenders?

Katara blindly trusts this guy because... he's old?

Pretty.

"It is the greatest honour of a lifetime to be in your presence." "Nice to meet you too." Yep, those greetings are definitely in proportion to each other.

I love the lighting in this scene. Everything has this golden glow.

The winter solstice sounds a bit like Halloween. The walls between worlds thin to almost nothing and things can cross over which shouldn't.

Aang's eyes are brown in this episode.

I love this attitude. Optimistic, upbeat. "I have to try, don't I?" is so true.

Is it just me, or is Sokka's ponytail weird this episode?

I think this is the Bumi guard voice guy again.

This episode appears to be taking place in a part of the Earth Kingdom that hasn't been taken over by the Fire Nation (unlike last episode). So for Zuko & crew, this is enemy territory. Iroh, who is a general with a fancy title, the brother of the leader of the fire nation (so I guess the next in line to the throne?), and so recognisable to the enemy that they can identify him without a single piece of insignia or even clothing denoting his country of origin, thought it would be a good idea idea to have a solo, unguarded spa day here? I bet the fire nation is happy the other brother is the one in charge.

More pretty.

Sokka racking up some major Big Brother points this episode. Aang may be the Avatar, which makes this kind of stuff his responsibility, but he's also 12 and clueless. He shouldn't have to face this alone.

This village must be close to the Avatar world's equator because that sun set ridiculously quickly.

You know, if I turned around and saw that thing following me, my first impulse would be to scream and run away, not introduce myself. This is why I'm not the Avatar.

If that's their water tower gone, this village is done for with or without the Avatar's help.

This spirit is throwing a proper tantrum. I love the way it moves too fast to see. I did not see Sokka getting kidnapped coming. I actually had to rewind and watch it again because it happened so fast that I did not see it at all the first time through.

I think the fire nation solider here is the Bumi guard voice too.

This is an insane shoulder to waist ratio. Also nice to see Zuko figure it out so quickly. This show has given me the impression so far that he's kind of stupid, but I guess not.

It's a panda! Black and White spirit, plus the environmentalism stuff from earlier, I really should have put that together sooner.

"I Failed." yeah you kind of did. So pick yourself up and try again.

Bird horses? Also those earth soldier helmets are probably really effective, but they look so stupid.

Proof that Katara is used to relying on Sokka to do all of her thinking and planning like I said last episode. If Sokka was the one left behind and Katara the one missing, he would not be so passive.

"All I have to do is figure out what I have to do. But once I do that, no problem." Even the most impossible tasks can be broken down into manageable steps. I love Aang's attitude.

It's so painfully in character that what gets Katara out of her funk is looking after someone else.

Where's Momo in all this?

In the spirit world, the avatar is just some guy? Can't bend. So what makes him uniquely qualified to be the guy who deals with spirits?

Dragons can talk with their whiskers. I'm sure I've seen that somewhere before.

Iroh can see stuff in the spirit world? Maybe it's an old people thing?

How stupid are these earthbender guards? Nice call back to the water heating trick. This show is really good at set up and payoff like that.

This dragon is very fluent at talking in pictures. Also the sky in the accelerated days and nights animation is actual live action footage of sky, right?

Earthbenders can skate on their bare feet. That's beyond cool. Imagine having an inborn ability to sock slide at will. I'd never walk anywhere again. Only slide.

Comforting Appa really did get her out of her funk and inspire action. Neat.

Aang and Zuko's stories do intersect this episode after all. Also I had no idea the two parties were this close to each other. Zuko showing this episode that in addition to deductive reasoning, he also has long-distance tracking skills.

I want to visit this village just to see the sunsets in person.

Iroh was right, they were clearly outmatched. These guys are just the worst. They're on a dirt floor in a dirt cave with the advantage of numbers and actual pants, and they still lose. Did Iroh even firebend?

I take back what I said earlier about Iroh being stupid for going off alone in enemy territory. If this is the calibre of soldiers he knew he would possibly run into, then he was perfectly safe all along. Although the last minute rescue from Zuko was a nice touch. Did anyone really believe that he would choose chasing the Avatar over his uncle? I didn't.

I like the creepy spirit whispering at the gate.

Did Katara yelling to Aang attract the spirit's attention to that main building? Because it seemed to be ignoring it before.

Chekov's acorn!

When Aang went to the spirit world, his body stayed behind on the statue's head. But when Sokka went his whole self was stuck there? Also that bathroom joke is payback for all the denied potty breaks.

Sokka's practicality and bluntness is just so perfect this episode. A nice counter balance to the spirity stuff. Just spent 24 hours in the Spirit world? That's nice. Can we have supplies?

Momo's back in these final scenes, but where was he the rest of the episode?

How does Aang know the island is in the fire nation? From the temple architecture?

Final Thoughts

I really like this episode! There is so much that is good: -beautiful visuals (so many sunsets!) -interesting sound design (that whispering was neat, and the single wind chime in the last spirit attack was so eerie) -so many well-executed set ups and payoffs (acorn, firebending heating stuff, how the spirit does relate to the burnt forest from the beginning) -So much good dialogue, from Zuko especially ("Now would you please put on some clothes?!?" / *sniffs* "Yeah, that's Uncle Iroh.") -relationship stuff (Sokka being big brother, Katara being lost without him until someone else needs her to be strong, Aang's relationship to his responsibilities both internally within himself and externally with how the village sees him and what it expects of him, the exasperated teenager and secretly amused parent dynamic between Zuko and Iroh switching flawlessly into a fighting team, then flawlessly back) -Everyone feels in character (optimistic sweetheart Aang, practical protective Sokka, caring Katara, super chill yet super skilled Iroh, Zuko just so fed up with everything) -The humour was downplayed this episode but the few jokes that were there were genuinely funny. Sokka getting hit with the acorn in particular. I'm thinking that there must have been a rule in the writing room that it's not a proper Avatar episode unless Sokka gets to be the butt of the joke at least once. -Zuko and Iroh finally getting fleshed out a bit. I feel like this is the first episode where Zuko hasn't come off as an asshole. -Worldbuilding (this is the first time the avatar's done his job as per the job description) -How it's supposed to be the first half of a two part episode but it doesn't feel like set up at all. It's a self-contained story with actual stakes, a conclusion that matters, lessons learned all around, and ALSO set up for next episode.

Once I had gotten a good look at firebending in the Southern Air Temple episode I started wondering how the fire nation hadn't completely decimated all their enemies. After I saw Bumi's bending skills I understood how the earth kingdom had resisted the fire nation for a century, but Bumi really was the exception to the rule, wasn't he? If these earth kingdom soldiers are typical of the earth kingdom army, I'm going to have to switch back to my original opinion and wonder why the fire nation didn't win the war 85 years ago. Because these guys are bad. They are surrounded by their element. Their prisoner is standing on their element. Just make the ground grab his feet! He'll be a sitting duck and they'll be able to do whatever they want to him. Better yet, just bury him completely. Or make handcuffs out of rock instead of metal. That being said, the soldiers' stupidity set up a really cool fight scene. How did Zuko not break his foot with that kick?

Everything is woven together so well in this episode. Almost nothing feels contrived - you can't tell me that Zuko didn't wait behind a bush somewhere so he could time his rescue of Iroh to have maximum drama. But otherwise this episode feels organic - like we were actually watching a couple of days in the life of these people.

I really liked this one.

[donutinsideofashark]

Alright... No one asked november day whatever the fuck: i finnaly got to designing my characters (althought i have to work on his clothes lookin more interesting)

His name is Nos, hes a member of the possesed ones squad, a special forces used by a certain aristocratic group for dirty work. Every member has a specialazation, in Nos` case: stealth and assasination

I think its time to explain a bit of power system in the world im building for fun

So... everyone has a soul, a non physical core of a being or like a invisible fuel to the body Pretty often in this world souls subcounciously manifest a power, there are all kinds of powers, from simple ones like inhuman streangth to oddly specific ones like being capable of creating a liquid psychodelic drug at will

When a person dies and is rich or lucky(or unlucky, depends on perspective) enough a merciful blacksmith might come to save them. Blacksmiths are people capable of extracting souls out of dying or recently dead people and then forging those souls into all kinds of things, making the person immortal

Nos was a person saved by blacksmith, he lives on in these pieces of armor being forced to posses deathrow inmates to keep on serving as a solider

But as you can imagine forcing two souls into one body by possesion often doesnt end well. That often results in destruction of hosts soul, deformation of body or sanity loss of the possesing one (usually a combination of those)

Nos` innate ability is one of psychic type, on command he can highly reduce the cahnce of everyone around him noticing his precensse (sort of like forced psychic version of that funky video where your have to count how many times ball is passed for one person to another but in middle of it is a gorilla but you dont notice it) And since current host of his was decently compatible he has access to another ability, this one making him and small things he touches transparent on command

This compatibility gave him the title of stealth specialist and to this day hes a great but underappreciated asset of the possessed ones

Underappreciated due to the fact taht in actual combat he is the weakest of all(not to call him weak, cuz compared to avrage human he is a trained killer), so most of them treat him as a punching bag, when they can find him that is

Not that he cares about it, hes all about ignorance, if everything around him can ignore him, then he can ignore it all as well

~so he does~

Nos doesnt think much of stuff happening around, he only executes commands when he has to and wehn there are none he sleeps until there are

well most of it was about power system in the world of mine but doubt anyone has read the whole thing anyway so i wont include his whole backstory from before he died for teh first time

if youve read this far, thank you, and id really appreciate some critique on it all and if youre interested in his backstory lemme know, i might post it then

also fun fact for those who read it all:

i came up with his name as i was writing all that cuz i realized that he looks like a nosferatu vampire

[godzexperiment]

puts the thoughts into funky fresh content

(*one of the ways 'human' nix ends up in vega brain rot*)

It sure wasn't like the 9 or whatever year old; had any major lasting memories. Just settled on top of an vending machine- spinning the pocket knife and keeping an eye out for threats. Which extended to the group of people. Weapons he didn't recognize aimed towards him. Jumping down as they began to bicker. He's just an kid, clearly isn't one of the 8balls and not our problem. Meanwhile Nix just used the same hand with the knife to pull down his hood. Study it all better and when one approached. Quickly flooring them- the stranger seeming amused by it unlike the others. Backing up with his knife extended. "Sorry- are you okay? What's your name? Are you alone." Voices weighing in, their own chatter but he decided to focus on the one who didn't move to get up yet. Asking an lot of questions. Name? He wasn't alone anymore. "Uhm, was just me till now and an name?" "What you are called, I for example am often called Jacobs as that's my last name." Blank stare, blinking as took that information in despite it being more confusing. "Nix?" Was what he offered and this seemed respected by the immediate use of it paired with asking again if he was okay. Gentle prodding for information that couldn't be offered. -------- "I don't need your fucking help!" Nix brandished his knife at the whole reason, he wasn't alone out there and yet he sure wasn't the most thankful child ever. Few years later that it was. Watching them clearly so far beyond exhausted with him. Feeling like quite the embodiment of biting the hand that helped him up. Maybe that was why the behavior; he didn't do well with kindness or the feeling of owing shit. Watching as the clothes were just dumped at his feet. "Alright, good luck then kiddo- patch your own self up and continue getting in fights." Walking away just like that. Finally. And for some reason it really took the breath out of Nix's lungs. Collapsing beside the clothing; hurling it at the nearby pipes and then retrieving it. Fumbling- managing to patch himself up; change into them and then scoot so his back was against the wall. Stare up at the pipes, it was what he wanted? It was for the better. Yet it sucked so much. ------- Major trouble; bit of theft and he waited for the axe above his head to dangle. Years since, apparently both alive and older. "Seriously kid- you're the one who got caught stealing gauze?" Nix just shrugged his shoulders as reclined his head against the wall. "Yup, to be fair I desperately needed it for an stab wound." Not even the slightest hint of shock on that face. Sighing however did happen as looked at what clearly was the written report. Accounting probably all sorts of fun details like climbing out the window, not getting caught easy and telling several people to get the fuck over themselves. "Didn't mention that at any point till now." "See if you mention you're stealing it for an stab wound, then it's well how did you get stabbed and that turns into that they don't really care at all but you get extra spice to the lectures." "Uh huh- well I came in just to get details; assigned to do so as well say you're getting community service for it luckily... I'll certainly tell them you could use seeing an doctor." Scowling, the scowl was ignored and he could tell not much of it was personal. Maybe a little but just in how caring the other still seemed to be. Formed wall of the years aside. Just like that exiting the room. Pretty soon getting checked out and it sure did suck. Then the start of whatever fresh hell 'community service' might entail as one of the vaguest terms to exist in Vega. -----------

After how many people vastly pissed off, situations did you get kicked out or something? Nix felt both incredibly lucky but also so cursed. The teenager scaling up the brick wall; aiming for an nice window ledge made to be sat on. Settling in well off the ground; back to right side and right leg dangling. Bend of his left leg- braced boot for stability. Rummaging out some stolen chalk pastels from earlier crimes. It wasn't like he could have paid for them. Hood of his jacket softening the feel of his head against the bricks. As let his arm extend out to start painting the bricks across from him. Maybe no camera got him stealing them. It was not an high priority theft from what he certainly had come to get an grasp for. Far more valuable to him than the seller who'd not sold them for weeks. ---------- "Oh look I think he's dare I say it content." Nix twirled his knife against his pointer finger; looking over at her stupid smiling face. "Sorry miss this is the look of an guy plotting an heist." Pretend look of disgust as she settled down across from him. Close enough her knees knocked into his own. Raised eyebrow at the heavy sound of her bag. "Shame- I just pulled one and I was going to share the goods but alas am confronted with nobody to do so with." Watching as some half full bottle of wine was produced; waved at his face with an grin. "I could forgo it, also okay seriously how?" She opened it up with an swig before passing it to him. Unspoken rule to make it equal. He took the same amount with his own swig. "Helping an guy pack to ascend up to your favorite class of person." Nose wrinkling which made her laugh as took it from him for another drink. He rested his knife between his legs. Safe from anybody running by or making any grab from it. Ready if needed. "Poor guy couldn't take his half an bottle wine with him or was it just accidentally missing?" "Yes." Both busting into laughter, keeping on edge while also just letting loose. Eventually collapsing in an heap together. Could really be taken for friendship. Yet it wasn't like either of them wanted to call it that. Friendship declared always was like the kiss of death. So why humor the universe by painting that target on an relatively nice connection? ----------- He knew better than to not be prepared for other people's bullshit. Yet he didn't have an death grip on his sketchbook. Had found an corner and seemed to be in the clear. So was busy sketching away. When it was snatched away from his lap. "Give it back." Taking care to shove everything away into his holster bag. Zip it. Watching as it was being flipped through. "Wow now I get why you're so protective of this." Flip around of an page to face him and Nix lunging only to be dodged. "This is some weird shit." It wasn't like Nix could argue... Probably not the most usual just how many drawings he did of other people but it was all artistic admiration and not an big deal. "I'll give it back for your rations." Nix wasn't going to humor that thought; no assurance he'd get it back if he did and that wouldn't just get bothered later. So this time he moved fast, practically flinging himself at the other. Sketchbook skidding across the ground into an corner. Elbow to the nose- his knee to the other's ribs and then good solid hit to an certain spot of the others leg. Getting up, scrambling over to his sketchbook. Watching the other fail to get up. "The fuck did you do to my leg freak?" "Put it out of business- it should wake up and be an motherfucker in like an hour or so depending; I'll just leave you to it." Ignoring the curses, threats that echoed after him until had navigated plenty far away with his sketchbook. Tucking in his arms up to his chest. Well now he didn't feel like drawing more so being nowhere around when the other could walk again.

--------

Sometimes things got extra hellish. Better to just be on edge and or get in trouble for trespassing than see who he'd pissed off enough to become public enemy as a result. Having found an shadowy dim spot to rest an little. Running approaching so fingers found his knife just in case. No intent to get involved if he didn't have to. Watching as they tripped and fell beneath his elevated spot. Approaching group probably with awful intents. Given the heckling remarks being casually made. Whoever under him was basically unlikely to not leave the encounter in an body bag. Not his issue... But he hopped down. Twirling his knife and firing an attempt to reassure the trembling stranger he wasn't an threat to them. More threats, some to him and that it wasn't his problem. "I think you should all fuck off back to the sewage you formed out of." Acting so unbothered which clearly was making an few reconsider. Assessing, figuring out the ring leader and silent forgive me to the universe. Quickly moved to hook one boot around an knee cap. Tug in an way that was very much not good for the ability to stand. And grabbed the hand of whoever he'd just rescued. Leading them until reached somewhere it seemed safe to drop them off. Before vanishing off to go find an new spot now that he'd no doubt shifted that groups wrath his direction. Given had seen an gun- he didn't want to be on the business end of it.

[violetreminder]

really hoping that this isnt an awkward translation and means that you'll be able to put the OG Frank model in all the funky clothes and not be stuck with the new Frank model they have if you want to dress up bc its just....

Like, credit where its due, that *is* recognizable as Frank West as opposed to his appearance in 4, but he's just so...old. His face has too much texture, like this looks like how Frank West should look around the time of DR3. (ftr I dont dislike Old Frank but this feels like the face he should have if they get to remaking OTR)

Compare this to the "classic" model they show off and its night and day. Admittedly his old model does look a bit young for a 36 year old war-covering journalist but he's got that greasy rat-face look that's perfect for him. Regardless of my nitpicks on Franks Face, the game does look pretty good. Gameplay seems to be intact, the dumb fun spirit is certainly still there, *Gone Guru* is still there, and the mall as a whole looks really nice too. I like the extra set-dressing they've added with the nautical themes, idk if thats just in Paradise Plaza and all the others have their own theme or if its all seaworthy but either way its a fun look. Everything is immediately recognizable while still having a unique visual identity to the original.

(though I will say this suffers from the current AAA trend of 'everything looks way too shiny bc tech assholes cant stop jerking off to raytracing') TJ Rotolo not voicing Frank again is a huge letdown, ngl. But such is what happens during actor strikes. Dave Fennoy as a fully voiced Otis does have my attention and begs a question unanswered in the previews: Will Otis's calls still demand your full attention or will it be a more passive action like in DR2? Whatever the case, I am cautiously excited about this. I've long thought this game could benefit from a remake that adds some QoL, and that only intensified when the REmakes were fresh. Also I just want to say that the dev preview for this game feel so remarkably candid. Like this isnt a tightly edited supercut of Capcoms Next Big Thing, its not a cinematic trailer that shys away from actually showing what the game is, its just a loose cut of the director running around and doing random things in the mall like wearing new clothes and throwing sandwich boards at zombies. It feels more directed at new players rather than any returning DR fans, and I feel like this may point to a sort of soft-reboot where Capcom just kind of ignores and sidesteps DR4 like they did for RE6, renewing the series while planning a comeback. Though admittedly thats all just speculation on my part. Regardless I'm very excited to see more Dead Rising as I'd kind of written the series off over the last few years. Here's the video in case you want to see for yourself

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A DEAD RISING REMAKE IN PRODUCTION

ANNOUNCED A MONTH AGO??? AND IM ONLY NOW HEARING OF THIS???

[tragedytells-tales]

Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea

Notes - GN!MC, Headcanons, shitpost, Feat. The brothers, The royals, purgatory hall

Summary - Random, nonsensical, and 3am thought things that they're afraid of/makes them uncomfortable.

Warnings - none??

Tw - none??

Lucifer

- Record scratch sound effects.

- Someone could play it near him and he has an automatic fight or flight response and it's a little bit funny.

- Some say it's because he's afraid of something happening to his records, others say that he thinks the noise is annoying, little do they know even he doesn't know why it makes him flinch.

- Everyone finds it a tad bit chuckle worthy.

Mammon

- Shadows.

- Just in general. Not even specific or moving ones, just shadows in their entirety.

- They don't make him afraid, just slightly or very uncomfortable. Even his own. He thinks it's just standing there menacingly and will move or ignore it.

- Some say Lucifer did it, others say the witches did it, he says that shadows just look weird and he hates them. Which is fair.

Leviathan

- Flies. Or any insect really, but flies specifically.

- Funky noise, that and one landed on him once and he hated it. Plus he has this weird instinct to eat it, he blames the reptile in him.

- The only fly he isn't afraid of is beel, and yes he has called him a fly before, but he still hates when his wings buzz because it makes him think there is a fly in the room. Which technically speaking-

- He will in fact get startled by them, maybe even cross the other side of the sidewalk to avoid them. Social anxiety be damned, he hates those things grrrrr.

Satan

- Water.

- Specifically water that's just existing as a puddle not contained somewhere. He thinks it's weird, that's all, he promises.

- After it rains he just actively avoids puddles, MC has a picture of him outright leaping over one to avoid it and it's their favorite thing.

- Some say it's cause he's a furry, others say it's because of his books, he says it's not a fear at all and that it's just a general discomfort around puddles. He says as he grimaced at some spilled water like it was offensive.

Asmodeus

- Sand with glitter in it.

- Yes, specifically when it's mixed together. Separately it's fine. He loves glitter, sometimes. And he likes the beach, sometimes. But the two mixed? He won't even be in the same building.

- It's either no one knows why this fear exists or they simply don't speak of it. But at one point someone got sand and glitter somewhere in his vicinity and he hasn't been the same since.

- Some say it's because he's afraid to get it on his clothes, others say it's because they're both impossible to truly clean. And to be fair they're not wrong, but it's also simply because. That's it.

Beelzebub

- Purple human food.

- Blame Solomon for that one, but he won't eat or even go near anything that's purple from the human realm. Not even if it's grape flavored.

- He used too, but at some point his brain started equating purple food to Solomons food and it was all down hill from there. Someone offered him a grape jolly rancher once and he nearly passed out, it was horrific.

- Every time he sees purple human world food he will do everything in his power to avoid it. Including just outright leaving. Or flying away, whatever is more convenient and the least offensive really.

Belphegor

- Cheetah print.

- Man hates the stuff, including things that are made with that print. He might just be overwhelmed with the need to commit arson should he cross paths with it.

- One time Lucifer brought something with cheetah print on it home and the next thing he knew there was a bon fire outside. Belphi was unapologetically standing there with a lighter as well. He personally thinks it was glorious, Lucifer did not.

- Some say it's because he too associates with animal prints, others say he's just weird, he just thinks that cheetah print simply shouldn't enter his realm of sight.

Diavolo

- Small human realm animals.

- Man crossed paths with a mouse once and the sight reminded MC of an elephant running away from a mouse. Although it isn't limited too mammals, it also goes for birds and amphibians. And capybaras.

- Fish don't count because he can eat them whole, but tiny mammals, amphibians, and birds? No. A frog hopped on him once and he nearly lost it, barbatos had to come save him, it was wild.

- Some say he's just nice and tries not to harm the tiny things, others say his childhood did it, he just thinks the little things are mencing and make for formidable foes.

Barbatos

- really pale yellow.

- like the kind of yellows that are almost white, those specifically. He's fine with every other shade of yellow, just not that one.

- if it weren't for Diavolo he would change the timeline every time he had to encounter it. Yes, he considered changing the castle floors, but he settled on just changing the lighting constantly.

- No one knows why he doesn't like that shade in particular, and tbh, neither does he.

Solomon

- chickens.

- he got beat by one and hasn't been the same since. Doesn't matter which realm the thing is from, he'll hate it anyway.

- you know those videos of cats jumping at cucumbers, yeah that's him. Legit got stuck in a tree while on a walk because a devildom chicken crossed his path. Barbatos had to come get him down, he was still horrified too.

- Luke actually took to caring for an injured chicken once while Solomon was home. Lil man was so proud of his bandage job that he ran to show Solomon, who did his best not to glitch out of existence while patting Luke on the head. He and the chicken are sworn enemies.

Simeon

- Venus fly traps.

- Not the oversized devildom ones, not the Suprisingly soft celestial ones, but human realm ones. He thinks they're evil.

- Will feel bad and release any flies he sees trapped. Also steps on Venus fly traps for fun. They just make him irrationally angry and will glare at any in his vicinity.

- some say it's because he feels bad for the flies, others say it's because Venus fly traps are just very hateable, he just thinks they should've never came to be and makes it his goal to smite them.

Luke

- Tiny doors.

- blame caroline for that. Purgatory hall decided to do a human movie binge and he couldn't sleep for a week. Still get shivers down his spine at the thought of it, but tiny doors? That's worse.

- Rarely ever does he come across tiny doors, but when he does he will scurry to the nearest adult across the room. Almost has a sixth sense for when they're in his vicinity because he will stop dead in his tracks and run away.

- No one really brings it up, but at one point someone tried to prank Luke by summoning a tiny door next to him and, by the fight in his fight or flight response, they got clocked. Simeon had to take away his brass knuckles, but Solomon was proud so there's that.

AN - No, I don't regret giving Luke those brass knuckles. He needed em! - Mammon

[side-of-honey]

Okay I’m really curious about the Somethings Within You Au, it’s just such an interesting concept. But on that note, do you know what everyone’s Something traces are? And/or what their reaction is to finding out they have them?

Thank you so much!! And yes, I can give you a more in-depth explanation of everyone's Somethings :D I'll put it under a cut because it's long lol.

(Warning that most of these involve eyes in their description. Also this might be slight body horror? idk)

Sunny: The most obvious one, his Something is a black shadow permanently covering half of his face and his missing eye getting replaced by Something's eye! His initial reaction is kind of just "oh I guess that's a thing now", since he doesn't realize it's actually happening and not just his imagination ^^;; Once he does realize, he's still somewhat chill about it (considering everything else he's been through for the past 4 years, this is just another thing to add to the pile) but also confused and a bit worried. He doesn't know why this is happening, after all, or if it could spread to the rest of his body...

Basil: For his Something traces, Basil also has some black shadows (in the places he got cut up after his fight with Sunny), but they're a lot thinner/smaller. He also has some sharper teeth and an extra little eye, emulating his own Something :) He gets VERY stressed out about them, but improves a bit after finding out it also happened to Sunny. Most of the traces are pretty easy to hide with band-aids or play off as just scars, but there's not much he can do about his teeth so he gets in the habit of covering his mouth with his hand when opening it u_u

Aubrey: Her Something is where Sunny cut her during her first fight with him and Kel! It's sort of this.. dripping black mass full of eyes ":D This is simultaneously a representation of her feelings of abandonment and the feeling that everyone is watching and judging her as she is a delinquent and especially after what happened at the church. She is very caught off guard and grossed out by it, but by the time she it happens she's already seen Sunny and Basil's traces of Something so she at least has a little context.

Hero: He gets some marks stretching across his chest, with a shape similar to a broken heart in the middle. It's a bit obvious what this represents... Hero knows what this is by now, was kind of expecting it, even, after seeing what happened to the rest of his friends, but he doesn't want anyone to find out because if they do, it'll be like proof that he ISN'T actually fine and HASN'T recovered as much as he pretends he has. The traces of Something can't be completely hidden by just one shirt, but they do get fainter with each layer so Hero just...wears a ton of clothes. And he's visiting home during the summer. So you can imagine how well that goes!

Kel: Kel's normal eyes get all funky and glow a little, plus he gets EXTRA eyes beneath those! This is representative of uh,,, him crying after his fight with Hero,,, He was feeling left out as the last one to get a trace of Something, so at first he's mostly just excited and thinks it's cool as heck, haha. He's the main catalyst for helping his friends see the positives in the situation and come to accept it! Although when he realizes what his Somethings are representative of, he starts trying to just ignore them/pretend they're not there, and has a little trouble looking in the mirror....... But hey, the extra eyes are helpful in basketball so like. #win

Sorry this ended up so long lol, I totally get if you don't read it all. As you can tell this is one of those AU's that I'll like occasionally think about but don't have enough time/interest to draw out all my ideas for -w-""" Thanks for the ask!

[martianbugsbunny]

Who Makes You See Color (A CaptainCroc Soulmates AU Fic)

This is a First Colors AU where people start seeing color because of their soulmates, but not at the same time. One of them sees color right when they meet, and for the other, it takes a while. Idk, I didn’t feel like going for the standard (though don’t get me wrong, the standard is gorgeous, it’s lovely, it’s maybe my favorite soulmate AU strategy and I would lay down in the road so it didn’t have to step in a puddle) and also I wanted the ✨drama✨*waves hands dramatically and does a funky lil dance*

Also, I ignored the bit where they briefly met in the bar because A) I forgot about it; and B) I like the Jolly Roger better for a First Colors AU. Ficcer’s prerogative, yeah?

Chapter 1 is below the cut. Have fun!

Rumple wanted to just give up and lie facedown on the deck of the ship. That pirate captain had kidnapped his wife. He gave Rumple a terrible, ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew that he was going to lose something, be it his wife or his dignity or perhaps even his life.

And of course, the moment he laid eyes on the pirate; the moment he knew his future was about to be thrown onto a different track, was also the moment he began to see color.

It was stunning, really. Almost so stunning it was worth it. The sea was glittering, sparkling, a thousand different shades intermixing in the ripples, the foam lighting up the deep waters. There were trees that, even in the distance, were so vivid they almost hurt his eyes. But what really took his breath away was that man—that wicked, horrible man—whose eyes were the same color as the sea, and just as complex. Whose dark clothing made him a beacon of horror, standing before a pale, drab sky.

Why did it have to be him?

Rumple had known it wasn’t Milah for years. She had never made a secret of the fact that she never saw color because of him, and since one of them was supposed to see it the instant they met, it was ruled out rather neatly from the beginning. Although…Rumple had clutched onto a vague hope, for a while, that perhaps their love was just slow to reveal itself for some reason, and the day would come when one of their worlds became tinted.

Well, the day had come for him, and it wasn’t Milah.

“Where are my manners?” the pirate captain asked. His tone was mocking, as though he and the crew were all laughing at Rumple…which, he realized, they were. He clutched his walking stick tighter, tears beginning to burn at his eyes. He’d waited his whole life to see even a glimpse of color, and now, he wished he hadn’t seen it at all. “We haven't been formally introduced. Killian Jones. Now what are you doing aboard my ship?” Captain Jones cocked one eyebrow, as if daring Rumple to say the wrong thing.

“You—you have my wife,” Rumple stammered, eyes riveted on the sword in Captain Jones’ hand. Oh, that sheer color, so sleek, so smooth, almost the same as the sky—that was the color of the bite of steel into flesh. That was what brought blood welling to the surface. Rumple briefly wondered what blood really looked like; he quickly pushed that thought away, hoping he wouldn’t have to find out.

“I’ve had many a man's wife,” Jones said carelessly. Rumple’s throat contracted. Why was his…soulmate…such a disgusting, slimy man? Why couldn’t he have been made for someone good?

“No, you...you see, we...we have a son, and he needs his mother,” Rumple told him. He didn’t even try to use love as a reason to get Milah back. Milah told anyone, absolutely anyone, who would listen exactly what she felt for Rumple. (Nothing.) It would be useless to play that card.

“I’m not much for bartering. That said,” Jones went on, smirking, “I do consider myself an honorable man, a man with a code.” That must be a lie, if Rumple had ever heard one. “So... if you truly want your wife back, all you have to do is take her.” He tossed a second sword onto the deck in front of Rumple. “Never been in a duel before, I take it? Well, it's quite simple, really. The pointy end goes in the other guy,” he said, laughing. As if Rumple were so stupid he didn’t understand how a sword worked! “Go on. Pick it up.”

Rumple didn’t move. What was he supposed to do? He could hardly cross his hovel without his walking stick; how could he duel a man who had doubtless been in hundreds of them? And for a woman who loathed the fact that he hadn’t died in a futile battle?

“A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets,” Jones said, in a tone that implied what Rumple deserved was death. There had to be a mistake; this man must be Milah’s soulmate. They talked exactly the same way.

“Please, sir,” Rumple pleaded, his voice breaking. “What am I gonna tell my boy?” Oh, Bae. As if his life wasn’t poor enough, was he to be left without a mother?

“Try the truth,” Jones said coldly. “His father's a coward.”

And with that, Rumple’s audience with the pirate captain was over. He left the ship, pondering what to say. He wouldn’t tell Bae that his mother had been abducted; that would be too painful for him, and he was too young to understand that Rumple couldn’t win her back.

He would tell Bae that Milah was dead. It would be a terrible thing for the boy to hear, but better, easier, than the truth. And with any luck, Milah might one day escape and return—no, she wouldn’t do that. Not even for Bae.

Rumple had to face up to the fact that his soulmate was a brute—and worse, his son would never again have a mother. The only person in his life would be…Rumple.

Well, then, Rumple was determined to be the best father he could possibly be. His boy would not live in the lap of luxury, but he would damn well be loved.

[skellebonez]

SO, remember that thing you wrote a while back, about Monkey King and Mk time traveling back to the JTTW time period?

Link to said thing: https://skellebonez.tumblr.com/post/647766968590581760/18-for-present-wukong-and-mk-to-accidentally-time

THIS? RIGHT WELL, I HAVE HAD IT OPEN IN MY TABS FOR A REALLY LONG TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU AN OPENING TO CONTINUE WITH IT IF YOU'D LIKE: PROMPTS 34 and 41

So. Time travel is funky. This is set post-Special, immediately pre-season 2. But has spoilers for events up to S2E7. For reasons. Side bar: sometimes time travel comes with some fun side effects. Fun for the viewer. Less fun for the people experiencing them.

Truth be told, I forgot they were even here./Can you teach me how to do that?

"Won't this cause some kind of... I-I dunno, time paradox?" MK asked in a harsh whisper as they followed the traveling group at the back of the line. "Or is this gonna be some kind of 'you changed one thing and now two timelines exist' kind of deal?"

"I genuinely have no idea," Wukong said with a sigh, digging at the uncomfortable but familiar feeling in his ear and trying to keep his voice down as much as possible. He was honestly surprised that it had taken MK this long to ask this particular question, but then again... they had other things to worry about. "I don't remember this, but that may not even matter. I've around for centuries, Bud, but even I have no idea how thing works for us."

"That is not a comforting sentence."

It had been a little over two days since the mentor and student had found themselves thrown backwards in time a few centuries away from home. And Sun Wukong could tell that MK was starting to get more and more frustrated as time had gone on. To be fair, they had made little progress. And there was... another reason... multiple other reasons. But most importantly, there wasn't exactly a power source they could plug the machine into that would give them enough juice to send them home, at least not unless they chance by a demon with lightning powers that Wukong didn't remember. No, instead they had to wait until they hit a storm.

One that was more than another two days walk away.

The young man did his best to not let it show, however. Most likely because of who they were traveling with.

His younger self lead the group, pointedly not looking back at them and keeping a watchful eye for demons that the elder Wukong knew would not come. He dared not bring this knowledge up, though, not knowing if MK had a point about that paradox. He didn't seem to trust the completely, but there was someone else he trusted.

Behind him was his former Master. The monk Tripitaka, Tang Sanzang himself, on the back of the horse formed dragon Bai Long Ma. Bai Long Ma had said nothing, as they were wont to do, and seemed to mostly ignore the two of them unless they were loud. Mast- Sanzang. He had insisted that the elder Wukong and MK call him Sanzang. Probably to help differentiate who was speaking to him if he could not see the two immortal monkeys, and also because MK kept trying to figure out which title to use for the monk and he took pity on him. Sanzang, after a hour's long explanation and from proof via MK's phone and knowledge of past adventures none should know of (and one very interesting game of staff trading between the two monkeys for a moment where the younger Wukong realized it was indeed the same staff).

Sanzang had not mentioned his crying when they met. Neither had his younger self. Or MK.

Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing took up the rear. Wujing had not said much to the two of them, but he was nice enough. Suspicious of them, but nice. He put more faith in Sanzang and younger Wukong (perhaps he should call him something else in his head) than his companion.

Bajie didn't trust them as far as he could throw them, that was clear from the way he kept glancing back at the duo with daggers in his eyes. He was immediately unhappy with their new travel companions and... Wukong realized with a sad jolt that he actually missed that. At the time he only found Bajie's contrary nature to his own to be frustrating but now... now he hadn't heard that in 500 years and he could see that while it may have been misguided at times (many times) it was born of a sense of self preservation and a want to protest Sanzang.

Even if he contradicted himself at times as well.

"You two doing ok back there, older me and Kid?" Younger Wukong called back suddenly.

"Yup, just. Hanging." MK yelled back, tone as terse and done as it had been for the last day. "Not like I can do anything else." The second bit was muttered under his breathe, most likely in the hopes even his mentor couldn't hear him. He was wrong.

Wukong felt... bad. Because he was the primary source of this rotten mood.

The staff digging into his ear for the first time in centuries was a reminder of that. An agreement between himself and his student to not bring up any undue suspicion and questions that would take time they may not have to get back home. They'd agreed that the group would also call him Kid, since MK wasn't as fond of the others calling him Bud for some reason, and the name was just... a smidgen to close to Monkey King to not raise similar questions. It was also a reminder that Wukong had let slip in a follow up conversation, away from prying ears, about why this may or may not be really necessary that he had planned to leave the next day in present time.

MK hadn't been happy since. Not with him at least.

"Bajie, remember to ask them how they are doing from time to time. Please?" Sanzang insisted in front of them.

"Truth be told, I forgot they were even here," Bajie lied.

~

Bajie glowered down at Wukong, throwing the fruit and wrapped rice packages in his general direction and not caring whether he caught it or not. There was a soft and disappointed cry of his name from Sanzang from the other side of the camp.

"Master and the stupid Monkey may trust you," he snorted, ignoring the call and looking between Wukong and MK. "But I don't. If you even so much as set one little toe out of like I will re-"

"Rend our souls asunder with your mighty 9 Toothed Rake, yeah," MK sighed as he used some of the water from his cup to wash the berries thrown at him. "You're Zhu Ganglie, Zhu Bajie, Tiānpéng Yuánshuài, commander-in-chief of 80,000 Heavenly Navy Soldiers. You will kick our asses. We know."

For a whole second Zhu Bajie looked genuinely surprised and... kind of impressed.

Then he scoffed again and made his way back to the group of five and watched them from the edges of his vision with less suspicion and more curiosity than before.

"Mei was right when she said he was kind of like Pigsy," MK noted, popping a berry into his mouth.

"When was that?" Wukong asked, doing much the same.

His student froze, looking down at his hands for a moment as if trying to remember something. "... not important. Let's just eat and get some rest, like Sanzang told us to."

It didn't take a Great Sage to realize something was wrong.

Wukong said nothing.

~

"Kid, we told you to stay back with Master!" Wujing shouted as MK peaked his head around the rock he and the monk were taking shelter behind.

"I know!" MK snapped, growling as he ducked back down and presumably curled in on himself. "ARGH I feel useless!"

Wukong winced at his tone, feeling bad. MK wasn't useless, to be fair, but without his staff and no backup weapons he was fighting up a creek without a paddle as it were.

"You're not useless, and you're protecting Tripitaka!" He shouted, letting out a yelp as he narrowly avoided a hit from a demon that should not even be here. Or, some kind of time anomaly mockery of a large demon. An enormous smoke or shadow creature that was far too familiar for his own liking. Not the same, something possibly cobbled together from time itself.

"Wow, uh, future me you're not doing so hot!" Younger Wukong said with a raise of his eyebrow as he blocked a strike with much more ease. "Aren't I supposed to get better with age? Like a handsome fine wine?"

"I'm a bit RUSTY ok!?" He snapped, slicing off one of the shadow creature's cloth tassels to watch it flicker away. "Haven't been many demons to fight!"

He heard a scoff from behind the rock before he felt the giant fist punch him into it. And through it. A Wukong sized hole between student and old master. He realized too late that he had lost his grip on his staff as it flew into the air above them.

"Alright, that's enough!"MK shouted, and before Wukong could even move to stop him the Monkie Kid had jumped into the rock and reached up.

"KID DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!?" Bajie shouted in horror as he made to rush back and tackle him out of the way. He hadn't moved fast enough either.

None of them had, before MK caught the staff as if it was as light as a feather and twirled it around himself before extending it and launching himself at the shadow creature with a scream of rage and frustration and landing what would have been the killing blow had it not clearly been something not living in the first place.

It dissipated much as the piece cut off before it did, leaving MK to... give a confused yelp and fall into a heap on the ground. The staff fell to his side as he clutched his head and yelled in pain from a source Wukong could not see.

"Kid!" Wukong screamed, moving faster than he had during the entire fight to his student's side. "Kid, shit, MK! What happened?"

"MK?" Sanzang and his younger self asked softly in tandem as Wujing and Bajie watched on, all moving closer. But not too close, giving the two room to move.

MK didn't answer. He sat up, holding his head in his hands as he breathed deeply and tried to keep from screaming again before everything just... stopped.

His sat on his knees, hand hanging limply at his sides as his true sight shone in his eyes and he looked on forward blankly.

"What's... who is he?" Younger Wukong asked slowly as he turned to his older self. "What is he?"

"The Hero and the Warrior were like the Sun and the Moon..." MK muttered softly all of a sudden, just loud enough for the group surrounding him. His voice was slurred, almost like he was in a trance. "Their light a protective glow shining upon the world..."

"MK, where did you-" Wukong tried to ask instead of answering his younger self as he slowly stepped forward, cautiously, but MK continued on as if he had not heard him at all.

"Together there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the Celestial Realms... or on Earth. As time went on, the Hero attained power beyond comprehension. As the Hero's light grew so too did his shadow and soon the Warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the Warrior was forgotten by the Hero..."

MK immediately slumped forward as he fell unconscious.

"MK!"

~

"His name is MK... and he's the Monkie Kid... My successor," Wukong finished as he laid a fresh cold wet cloth over his student's forehead. After he had collapsed it became obvious something was seriously wrong with MK, high fever burning him up quickly. They were only just close enough to a town for him to grab him and the staff and rush off with barely a shouted back explanation of "find us at the inn" to the rest of their group. "We thought that... keeping that a secret might prevent any kind of... weird time travel... stuff."

Wukong sighed. His explanation was weak even to his own ears. Excuses. Ways to make things easier for him.

He felt worse than he had just the day before.

His student laid unconscious still, fever burning even after the medicine from the town doctor had been given to him with water carefully. The only thing Wukong could think of was the staff. MK wasn't invincible like he was, maybe contact with it had caused a reaction from the time travel that couldn't affect the immortal.

"Why would you need a successor, Wukong?" Sanzang asked after they sat in silence for a moment.

Bajie handed Wukong the mortar and pestle he had been working with to prepare more medicine, something to add to tea when MK woke up. The pig demon had not questioned him once since they arrived, only grabbed what Wukong was trying to mix poorly himself and listened.

Bai Long Ma had changed into a human form, one he had rarely seen, and sat beside Wujing. They both also listened.

His younger self looked at MK in a mix of wonder and confusion and horror and Wukong could not blame him. The idea of a successor... he must have known himself what that meant even if no one else did.

"I hope I don't have to tell you," he said softly. He didn't look away from MK, even as Sanzang laid a comforting hand on his back. "And I don't want to risk what telling you might do..."

No one questioned him after that.

When Bajie prepared the next bowl of medicine for MK, Wukong took a chance he never had with the demon he once considered like his brother.

"Can you teach me how to do that? Properly?"

Bajie did.

~

"Monkey King?" Came the hoarse rasp of MK's voice ringing through the room, and Wukong shot up from where he was watching the stars in an instant.

"I'm here, MK," He said softly, still soft, not wanting to hurt his student in case hie head ached. "How do you feel?"

"Dead, but only from the neck up," MK groaned out, and Wukong let out a relieved sigh. He wasn't sick enough to not joke around at least. "Where are we?"

"The town we need to be in," Wukong answered, quickly working on adding the medicine into some now (sadly) cold tea. He had hoped MK would wake much sooner. "Storm is tonight... you've been asleep for a whole day. Hopefully getting you home with this medicine in you will make you feel better, you uh... you weren't doing so great before-"

"What happened to Macaque?" MK asked suddenly, looking for all the world like he had no idea why he would even ask that question to begin with. "Not the battle your younger you had. Before that. In the story. Sun and Moon. Please, I... I want to know. Just... just tell me something, for once."

Wukong froze, fur bristling and stiff and this was not the conversation he wanted to have with his student right now. This is not the conversation he should be able to physically have with his student right now because MK should have no way of knowing anything like this at all. But he had. He'd recited the story he'd heard before word for word from... Macaque.

This was not the time for easy outs. Not anymore.

"I've made a lot of mistake, MK," He started, lifting his student's head onto his lap to help him sit up for the drink. "And a lot of them are ones I didn't think you would have to know about. But Macaque... it's complicated, I know that now. I didn't back then."

MK sipped the tea but said nothing, only made a face at the taste of the medicine.

"We were friends, once. Back on Mount Huaguo before I went to the Celestial Realm, he became immortal in... other ways to my own. I was trapped for 500 years under a mountain without him, no one came to see me so... I guess he was never able to find me. Or he waited thinking I would eventually come back," Wukong tried not to think about how that meant he could have had trust in his friend and not for other reasons he had assumed for so long. "You know the story of the White Bone Spirit from our journey? How Bajie got me banished?"

Wukong couldn't help but chuckle. Oh, he'd been so mad at Bajie for so long for that. He still was, in many ways. But given what happened to him later on in the journey Wukong couldn't hold a grudge.

"Yeah you-" MK coughed a little, probably from not talking for a whole day and a sore throat. "You went back to Mount Huaguo."

"And to Macaque," Wukong continued. "For the first time in 500 years."

"I bet he was angry."

"No..." Wukong disagreed, shaking his head and thinking back. "No, he... wasn't. Not at first. He was ecstatic I came back. The Hero and Warrior of Mount Huaguo back together again, just like old times. But it wasn't like old times. I was already different, I knew how I treated others including the monkeys on my mountain hadn't been the best. And when Bajie came to bring me back... I couldn't help but wanting to leave back to the journey. Part of it was to get the fillet off, but part of it was because... I realized I cared for the others. I wanted to see the journey through with them."

"Macaque thought you were abandoning him," MK said after a moment, eyes widening. "That's why he took on your identity. He wanted... revenge? For you to have no reason to leave again?"

"I think he just wanted what we used to have," Wukong said with a frown. "I've been running from him for so long... over another 500 years. I've made so many mistakes in my life MK, but I think not trying to get him to come with us or trying to properly explain what I was doing... may have been the worst."

"... The warrior was never forgotten by the Hero after all," MK said softly before drifting back to sleep.

"No," Wukong agreed, though he knew he was not heard. "No, the Hero never forgot. The Hero never will, not completely. Even if it hurts."

~

The storm came on schedule. The machine was charged.

Over the day they came back their memories of the trip back in time faded into a distant thought, one that both mentor and student soon forgot to fear the loss of.

By the next day they had forgotten. Time had fixed itself.

But not completely.

The Hero never forgot completely, after all. There was something telling him in the back of his mind to check more on his student. He remembered a hand on his back that should not have been there. He knew how to mix something he never had before.

Neither did the Warrior, uninvolved in this adventure as he may be. He had plans.

And the one between them, with no title to himself, didn't completely forget either. He recalled feeling warm and safe. His head was on someone's lap. There were berries and someone not unlike one of his father figures.

The memories of what happened lingered, quiet, uncalled but emotions still there.

A short time later the one between felt that a play he went to was strangely familiar to him and needed to rush out before his head began to ache in memories he didn't recall.

"So um... what happened to him? The Warrior?"

The answer was somewhere in the back of his mind. If only he could remember.

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

The struggles that come with being a Stark

Summary: Y/n has been very down lately and feels completely alone even if the tower is buzzing with Avengers every day. On one particular morning y/n is forced to come out of his room and he heads down to his father’s lab, y/n feels very ignored and storms out crying. Peter goes after y/n and gets him to open up. Can something deemed “broken” be fixed?

Words: 2.4k

⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, some light swear words

Pairing: Tony Stark!dad and reader!son

Note: the timeline is all funky to my understanding but please just roll with it... again

It had been good for a while, really good, but in the back of your mind, you knew it was only a matter of time until things got bad again.

And eventually, they did. Like always

It started with the little things. When you didn’t have the energy to put the freshly washed clothes you thought nothing of it. It started with feeling the need to sleep all the time, you tried to blame it on stress, not wanting to admit how bad things truly were.

Getting up in the morning was harder, showering was suddenly too time-consuming. Before you had the time to realise what was truly going on, you were laying in your own filth. Surrounded by stuff you couldn’t remember ever bringing into your room, the blinds were closed. Sometimes you opened the one closest to your bed, it was nice to watch the outside world from time to time. You saw how your friends ran and played outside, ever since Peter joined the Avengers it was like they just got more and more childish, but it was nice. All of the Avengers had rough lives and seeing them so happy made you feel a sense of relief. This was all Peter’s doing, he was keeping the atmosphere good, it didn’t necessarily matter if you weren’t there, they’d be fine.

That’s what you told yourself, ending it all wasn’t something you necessarily thought about, but it was a game in your head. A fantasy really, a game you noticed yourself playing more often than not. The game kept you busy, sometimes for an entire day.

  But there were days when the game wasn’t as fun, on those days you went outside of your room, you tried to do it so that no one would see you, sometimes you’d run into Steve or even to your dad, but not often. Your dad, Tony, made jokes of how you had ”emerged from your cave” and if you were too unfortunate enough to walk out of your room when a lot of them were in the kitchen or in the living room, you’d get an ”oh how nice of you to join us”. You knew that he didn’t do that to hurt you, but it ended up doing exactly that. His words stung, they haunted you even when you were alone, like an echo in your head.

You woke up when the sun hit your eyes, you had forgotten to close the blinds, again. ”Jarvis, close the blinds,” you said, voice groggy. No answer. ”Jarvis?” You asked again, receiving no answer. You groaned as you realised that you had to go down to your dad’s workshop, to tell your dad that Jarvis wasn’t working in your room. You sat up on your bed, feeling hazy. You slowly stood up to walk towards the elevator.

Your dad was working with Peter in his workshop. ”Dad?” You called out from the door, no answer. ”Dad?” You tried again, louder this time. Peter noticed you as you stood by the door. ”Mr Stark,” Peter said, immediately catching your dad’s attention. Peter pointed in your direction. ”Oh, what’s up?” Tony asked, quickly looking at you before turning back to his work. It frustrated you to see your dad ignoring you in such an obvious matter, it annoyed you that he didn’t hear you but he heard Peter.

Frustration turned into sadness as tears prickled by your waterline, you tried to blink them away as you cleared your throat, catching your dad’s attention. ”What is it?” He asked, sounding annoyed in your opinion. ”Nothing, just that J-Jarvis isn’t working in my room,” you said as you walked away. You didn’t want your dad or Peter to see when you cried. ”What’s up with y/n?” You heard Peter’s voice ask as you walked away from your father and him. ”I don’t know, maybe y/n’s feeling a little upset,” you heard your father say, clearly trying to say it in a way so that you wouldn’t hear. ”Should someone check up on y/n then?” You heard Peter ask. You didn’t hear what your father said due to the fact that the elevator doors had closed.

As the doors closed, your tears began travelling down. You weren’t jealous of Peter, you couldn’t be, he brought so much happiness to everyone. It kind of pissed you off how smart he was, you had your fair share of skills which your dad used to take interest in, he tried to get you interested in anything that might involve your skills, thus making you develop. But since Peter came along, it was all about him, it was good that your dad had someone to share things with, since you weren’t really interested in his field, but it still hurt to not get even nearly as much attention from him as you used to.

You weren’t really feeling your nest today, just in case your dad came by to fix Jarvis, which you highly doubted, you wanted to be somewhere else. Maybe the vents, there you could spy on people, you used to love being in there as a child, but abandoned that when you turned older.

You climbed inside the vent and were surprised by how spacious it still was, even for a young adult like you. You had no idea which way you should go but decided to follow the noise that reached the vent, Natasha and Steve in the training area. They were fighting each other while having a rather loud conversation. ”I don’t know what’s wrong with y/n, but I also don’t think that it’s okay for Tony to just ignore it all. He’s not doing anything to make y/n feel better,” Natasha said as he swung Steve’s legs from under him. Steve’s back hit the ground, getting his air lightly knocked out. ”But young people get sad all the time, why should he jump at y/n’s every whim?” Steve asked as he slowly got up from the floor. ”Y/n isn’t just sad, something is wrong and we should help,” Natasha said and kicked Steve in the chest. Steve grabbed her leg and sent her flying across the room.

You didn’t bother listening to their conversation anymore, was everybody suddenly talking about you? Why was suddenly everyone on your case? Why did they care?

”Hey y/n,” you suddenly heard from behind you, making you yelp loudly. ”Hey sorry it’s just me,” Peter apologised. You fell against the wall of the vent but decided to stay there in a sitting position. ”What are you doing here?” You finally asked after calming down a bit. ”I came to check up on you, you seemed a bit off,” Peter explained. You groaned loudly, ”Why is everyone talking about me today!” You complained.

Peter settled to sit next to you, but still giving you space.

”Everyone is just worried, you look sad and we barely even see you anymore. You’re hard to even recognise nowadays.” Peter said, stealing glances at you. You groaned slightly, trying to decide how to possibly end the conversation.

”I do realise that I might be the last person you want to talk to, yet I’d beg to argue that I’m the one to understand you the best.” Peter was right, and you hated it. You banged your head against the wall of the vent in frustration, ”I hate that you’re right.” You finally admitted. You took a deep breath before opening your mouth, might as well. ”I don’t know, it started out small. I was a child and some bad stuff was going down and I really didn’t know how to deal, people are more likely to notice a depressed child than a depressed young adult I guess.” ”Dad got me some help. Talked to a real nice lady, gave me blocks to play with and all. Yeah well anyway, I thought I was better. A lot of years went by that I was completely okay, until recently.” You explained as you pulled on any loose cuticle or nail you could find on your fingers. ”It just crept up all of a sudden, I didn’t have the energy to fold my laundry or make my bed. And then I just started sleeping a lot, like a lot. And before you know it, I’m awake at three in the morning, on the roof, and I’m looking at an at least 20 story drop. And I have no idea what the hell I’m doing there.”

It felt like some weight was coming off of your shoulders, you silently shook, eyes getting a little teary - that was good, right? "And then there's the fact that I'm a Stark. I'm Tony Stark's son and expectations are laid on me every day, if not by him then the world. I don't know if I have what it takes. I mean, I am smart but I'll never be able to fill his shoes." You continued, drawing the curtain open a bit more.

”Did you ever think about telling Mr Stark?” Peter asked, curious.

”Well I mean, at first I didn’t even notice anything that alarming, and when I finally did notice, it felt like it was too late, you know? Like how would I even bring that up? Hey, dad, I kind of want to jump off of a building because I’m sad!” You said, the last part overly cheery to compensate the tears that currently were cascading down your cheeks.

Peter moved a little closer to you, ”You know, it’s never too late, Mr Stark loves you very dearly and he wants to help you.” When you didn’t answer Peter he took the chance to do his own monologue. ”You know, he never shuts up about you. To him, you’re his most successful invention, he always talks about you, never fails to mention your achievements, no matter how small. You’re the best son Mr Stark could have. He’s genuinely so proud of you and he loves you more than anything, it breaks him to see you like this because he’s so lost he doesn’t know what to do to help you.”

After that Peter let the silence sizzle in the air, he waited for you to say something. You needed a moment, what Peter said opened your eyes, you had never thought that your dad even could be proud of you and to hear that he was the proudest of you and he loved you that much just put things into perspective.

”To be completely honest, I was kind of jealous of you and the bond you have with my dad.” You admitted when you felt strong enough to talk again. Peter laughed a little, ”why on earth would you think that?”

”You build stuff together, the two of you as a duo looks like the most normal thing this tower has seen in years. It feels good to know that dad has someone to share his passions with since I’m not all that talented or interested in whatever the hell it is that you two do, yet I sometimes feel jealous. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel bad, it’s just my brain. I’ll get over it.”

”Do you want to go talk to Mr Stark?” Peter asked after a while. The moment was over, but you still wanted to thank him. ”I think I have to. By the way, thank you. Thank you for finding me and talking to me, it really means a lot.” You said and offered Peter a smile, a smile that was for the first time in months, genuine.

Peter returned the smile, ”It was nothing really, you would’ve done the same for me.”

”Mr Stark!” Peter called out once you entered the workshop, the dishevelled head of your precious dad shot up from somewhere admits all of the ”junk”.

”Y/n wants to talk to you!” Peter said before turning to you. ”It’ll be alright,” he reassured you and gave you a thumbs-up as he walked out, giving the two of you some privacy.

”Son! What’s up?” He asked when you approached him. He climbed out of a machine he was building. You took a deep breath as you sat down on something you felt would hold your weight. You felt your dad’s burning gaze, yet, you decided to not return it. You stared at your shaking hands as you slowly began. ”D-dad, I think I need help.” Silence. ”I don’t know, I’ve been feeling pretty bad lately and I feel like I should talk to someone about it.”

You heard your dad pull out something with wheels on it, he seemed to sit on it and roll towards you. His feet quickly came into your view. His hands slowly grabbed yours. ”Look at me,” he said, his voice shook just the tiniest amount. You slowly found his eyes and took the sight in. There was no disappointment or anger in his voice, just worry. ”I want to help you, and I will. But I need to know what’s going on.”

You sniffled a little, breaking the eye contact to collect yourself.

”I didn’t even notice it at first. I just didn’t have the energy to do the everyday things, I was exhausted all of the time. The next thing you know I’m having a staring contest with the concrete from the roof in the middle of the night. I don't even know why. I guess I'm just not happy anymore. It's not that my life sucks or something like that. I'm a Stark, people expect things and I don't know if I can amount to that greatness. I'm not like you, I'll never be." You said, trailing off at the end.

"Y/n, I'll never want you to be like me. You are perfect just the way you are, you are my son - best one anyone could ever ask for. I'll always love you and you're the most important thing to me in this whole world. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I promise I'll get you all the help you need and I promise to never leave your side." Tony said all of those things with ease, his voice shook but there was so much meaning in his voice. It was gentle and loving, like the hug he offered you. You accepted the hug since your dad was the best hugger in the world.

His arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders as you laid your head on his shoulder. "Y/n, I love you 3000, don't you ever forget that." He whispered into your hair.

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Nobody asked for this but I'm gonna do it anyways...

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Fluff Alphabet: Takeru/Aguni Edition

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Takeru: only reason he let Aguni wear regular clothes and not swimwear is because he saw ARM in that tank top and was like "oh damn okay 😳." So, y'know, that. (And he'll never admit it but he kinda likes how Aguni is a little bit taller than he is....) Also likes that Aguni has a really dry, deadpan sense of humor—he ways finds a way to make Takeru laugh, even when he's not really trying.

Aguni: I think the physical aspect of things wasn't really a make-or-break for him at first—like, yeah, Takeru's a good-looking guy, but that's secondary. He liked how Takeru is such a live-wire, very loud and colorful and seemingly fearless, no matter what kind of trouble they got into. (But also...he likes the hair. That's a thing for him.)

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Takeru: If they end up with one somehow, then, sure. But, like. He's not going out of his was to make it a thing. (But also, he has his cat, Ziggy, who he calls his baby, so...)

Aguni: Would secretly love to be a dad but is too worried he might mess the kid up or something. Is more than happy to be 'unofficial parent' to the neighborhood kids, though. Handing out ice pops to the kids that show up at the shop, keeping an eye out and telling them to get home before dark, maybe even showing one or two of them how to throw a better curveball...you know. Real Hallmark channel shit. (And yes, for those who were wondering: Ziggy the cat loves him and often curls up on his lap while he watches TV)

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

They don't really "cuddle" outside of bed. Just kinda sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, no big deal. But in bed, Aguni lies on his back with his arm sorta outstretched while Takeru...well, my man is worm on a string but OFF the string, he just flops all sorts of ways and a lot of them don't look comfortable but he falls asleep in minutes so whatever.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

I don't think they do "dates"—they've got a long-term thing going on, so they often end up on the couch eating takeout and watching movies. I think they'd go to the movie theater sometimes (and talk shit for the entire film lol) and every once in a while grab dinner somewhere nice...but, usually because they have some cool limited-time-only dessert item that Takeru insists they try. (And Aguni pretends to be upset about having to get dressed up and go out, but is actually rather pleased to have a little romance...and get something to satisfy his sweet tooth.)

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Aguni: Emergency Medical Contact

Takeru: Co-Signer On The Apartment Lease

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Takeru: About a week after Aguni (drunkenly) confessed his crush. Literally spent a whole week like, "Wow, it's a shame I don't love him back. He's so kind and handsome and smart and funny...too bad, I guess..." until one night he sat up straight in bed and said "Hold up." He then immediately called Aguni and began demanding why Aguni didn't tell him he was in love with him this whole time.

Aguni: They had been friends since they were kids, so it's hard to say when his feelings went from "you're my best friend" to something different. But, once he figured it out, he swore never to mention it because that could complicate their friendship.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Takeru: Yes and no. He's got a bad case of "grabby hands" and often yanks Aguni to and fro to look at something or whatever. Just zero respect for the man's personal space. But otherwise...I imagine he's not particularly rough or gentle, just kind of normal. EXCEPT when it comes to the emotional stuff—like, the real heavy things. I think he's very gentle with that, not asking too many questions and just sort of taking care of him where he can.

Aguni: Generally gentle—physically, emotionally, whatever. But I do think that he's confrontational, like when there's an issue, he comes straight out and asks Takeru what's going on. Even corners him, sometimes. He seems like a "no bullshit" guy, and since Takeru is "Mr. 99% Bullshit" he's gotta deal with it as best he can.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

The only time they "hold hands" is when Takeru is grabbing Aguni's wrist to drag him somewhere (or run away lol) and when Aguni is pulling Takeru's hand back to stop him from touching something...

I = Impression first impression/s

I headcanon that they met very young, like grade school age. After school, in the park, where Takeru was chilling in a tree and Aguni walked by and he was like "Hey, there's a spider up here, wanna see?" and Aguni is like "Not really, I don't like bugs..." Now, Takeru, being "weird bug kid extraordinaire" can't believe his strange little ears and hops down from the tree and starts explaining why bugs are so cool and that Aguni is wrong...and Aguni listens as this funky, tiny firecracker just talks his damn ear off. Aguni liked how excited Takeru got about things, and Takeru liked how Aguni actually listened to him. And they were fast friends after that!

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Takeru fucks around all the time...and doesn't often find out, because Aguni tolerates all his antics. (To a certain point, but still.) Every once in a while, Aguni will tell some harmless little lie just to watch Takeru freak out—he told him once that Lady Gaga was leaving the music scene forever, and Takeru screamed so loud the neighbors filed a noise complaint.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

I think they most often do quick pecks—at the breakfast table, when they get home from work. You know. Domestic stuff. But when it's not like that...I think 9/10 times it's Takeru initiating, and Aguni reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in a big hug (because he likes it but also to keep that skinny little weirdo from wiggling so damn much, he's always moving, he can't just be still—)

L = Love who says I love you first?

Neither! I don't think they really say it at all! Why say something that doesn't need to be said? (At least, that's how they see it...)

M = Memory their favorite moment together

Aguni: It's not really a memory, but...just how they have breakfast together some mornings. Sipping coffee, discussing whatever's going on in the world, the general "togetherness" that comes with it is one of his favorite feelings.

Takeru: The time they spent a full 24 hours in a karaoke booth singing 80's hits and knocking back tequila shots and ordering way too much food.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Takeru: Absolutely buys stuff for Aguni all the time. Mostly random snacks, or little knick-knacks that catch his eye. And also clothes, but...Aguni doesn't always approve.

Aguni: Doesn't buy Takeru stuff BUT leaves vases of flowers he grew on the table for Takeru to find.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

Anything bright and obnoxious reminds Aguni of Takeru—red in particular, which also happens to be Takeru's favorite. And Takeru thinks Aguni has calm and soothing blue-green vibes. Like the ocean, beautiful and serene, but also dark and capable of incredible destruction.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Takeru: All of them. Darling, babe, sweetheart (but he calls everyone those lol). Aguni-specific ones are always over-the-top and ridiculous like "brightest star in all of the heavens..." and he always gets an eye-roll for his efforts.

Aguni: Absolutely does not use pet names. Just says "hey you" or something. Once called Takeru "babe" and Takeru had to stop washing dishes and sit down because he was laughing so hard.

Q = Quaint what is their favorite non-modern thing?

Takeru: I feel like he would collect a ton of vintage stuff—clothes, records, just random little bits and bobs he comes across. But his favorite is definitely his record player—it belonged to his dad, and he keeps it in a place of honor in the hat shop.

Aguni: A set of very old and well-cared-for gardening tools. Takeru got them for him for his birthday, and he legit treasures them.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Lay on the couch and do literally nothing. Takeru gets the left end, Aguni takes the right, and they binge trash TV shows all day. (And also they make box-mix brownies and eat them straight out of the pan. It's "their thing.")

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Takeru: Aside from all his self-destrictive behaviors (binge-drinking, dangerous situations, etc.) he just really needs a good laugh. And Aguni somehow always manages to make him laugh with an unexpected, deadpan comment. Also, he makes Takeru actually talk through his problems instead of ignoring them...

Aguni: if he's in a bad mood, you just need to let him work through it on his own. He hates being "talked down to" and feels that most attempts at cheering up are cheap, so most people don't attempt. Buf...Takeru is not "most people" and breaks out his most ridiculous jokes to try to get Aguni to crack a smile.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Other people! You know Takeru is the "XOXO Gossip Girl" of the neighborhood, but Aguni...he's like a little old church lady and ADORES hearing all the latest drama.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Both of them have the same method of relaxation and it's...bubble baths! Aguni does a basic, skin soothing soak and just hangs out in the warm water with a book or maybe just his thoughts to keep him company. But Takeru? He's got some fancy bath soaps, and he takes in a glass of wine and lights a few candles and does a face mask and it's a whole EVENT.

V - Very thoughts about each other

Takeru: Thinks Aguni needs to loosen up and take more risks...but also just loves the guy to pieces.

Aguni: Kinda wishes Takeru would calm tf down sometimes...but also knows that it's just how the guy is and wouldn't dare change him.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

They're not really the marrying type! They just have a mutual understanding of commitment and that's that.

(But if they did have a wedding... I think it would be a relatively small affair with all their closest friends and family. Like a dinner party, but somewhere extra nice and with lots of good food and alcohol. Intimate and meaningful, with just enough "extra" to satisfy Takeru.)

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" because they hid out in a karaoke booth (different from the 24-hour event that Takeru cherishes so much) to es ape the Yakuza and Takeru sang it over and over to pass the time.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

"Breaking" to my "Entering." The "Assault" to my "Battery." (They both hate this sort of thing and try to come up with the worst answers possible lol)

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

They already have the cat, Ziggy, who is their perfect little angel.

[theangrycomet-art]

I posted 461 times in 2021

188 posts created (41%)

273 posts reblogged (59%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.5 posts.

I added 1,205 tags in 2021

#theangrycomet art - 417 posts

#theangrycomet writes - 172 posts

#ben 10 - 147 posts

#cn gen 2 - 108 posts

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Longest Tag: 92 characters

#yeah the last time a kincaid had nothing left to lose they committed a planet wide genocide…

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Peekaboo

Jaime shot through the air, vapor clouds fading as he broke into through the cloud line. Eyes narrowed, they flicked about for any sign of movement.

“Did we lose him?” Glancing at his back, the scarab’s lights blinked up at him.

[...Uncertain.] Khaji Da admitted begrudgingly, hugging his spine a bit tighter as flurries of scans pressed at the corners of his visions.

“Uncertain?”

[The Threat has many... Unfamiliars within it.]  Khaji Da clicked  as Jaime assessed the area around them.  [Scans Indicate the Threat is Mostly Human but with the Unfamiliars’ Interference it makes the Threat-]

It was hard to tell who was more startled when their shoulder was tapped from behind, but both let out an undignified sound. Whipping around, Jaime gaped at the psycho providence agent he had left in the streets a couple hundred feet below him.

“Miss me?” The Threat smirked, somewhat crouching before he launched himself at them.

-//-

I don’t think Khaji Da would be very compatible with Rex’s nanites- especially with the Meta-Nanites, inactive or not- making him difficult to keep track of at first.

Rex, for his part, is just trying to cure the “EVO” he thinks he found. He’s been on Jaime’s tail for a lil while now.

How was he supposed to know he just found another kid with a funky alien device fused to his body? It’s not like that happens often.

90 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 23:58:33 GMT

#4

Danny Fenton/Phantom Redesign for my Rewrite

Danny Fenton: 

Personality is pretty much the same, with a few more tweaks to fit more modern school takes. 

When he’s nervous he info-dumps, generally about space- particularly stars. 

Recovering from/ occasionally relapsing to his middle school goth phase (he was the cheery goth for the most part)

He’s not bullied so much as ignored for the most part, because nobody really recognizes him out of the goth cloths.

Honestly he’s pretty much fine with this. It’s only when Ghosts start popping up that there’s a problem because everyone is suddenly looking for Freaky Fenton whose parents are ghost hunters for answers he doesn’t have/ can’t say because he can’t explain how he knows. 

He could care less about being popular

Is generally willing to use his powers if he thinks he can get away with it. Someone throws a punch at him? Face is intangible. Lancer’s looking for him? Turns invisible. Etc.

There’s a reason he’s called the Ghost kid- he supposed to look like a kid. So Danny, being the late bloomer he is, does. 

His face still has the last bits of baby fat.

He’s the shortest in his grade.

His attempt to wear bigger clothes only make him look smaller

Also- the space boi likes his space clothes. Very few pieces of his clothing don’t have SOMETHING involving space on it, whether it’s home made galaxy pants or bought online space pun shirts, etc.

His pupils disappear when his ghost sense goes off. Additionally his fangs poke out slightly, though this generally is unnoticeable. 

As Phantom:

We stan Blue Phantom in this house

Green mouth/tongue because his Ecto-Plasm is more prominent than his blood. Also fangs. As a treat. 

His hair’s wispier than normal, but still thick enough to retain most of its original shape

His jumpsuit is bulkier and he has a hood like his parents, though he rarely uses it. The logo was there from the start because Sam was making him his own custom logo and stuck a sticker she’d made on him before he went inside. Its supposed to resemble a comic

Additionally, he has a tool belt with pocket dimensions for storage and a hammer loop for the thermos

The Goggles he doesn’t use at all because (as he later discovers) it shows alternate dimensions as opposed to the reality he’s in which makes combat a pain in the ass. 

96 notes • Posted 2021-08-10 01:35:53 GMT

#3

Jaime Reyes has no right being as lovable as he is.

100 notes • Posted 2021-09-19 21:00:40 GMT

#2

“Are you going to behave for daddy?” Gwendolyn cooed, moving Devlin’s little hands up and down. 

He shook his head side to side with a small giggle. 

“Areeeee you going to be naughty for daddy?” She asked again, grinning as Devlin laughed in response.

“I’m telling you babe, he’s a tiny troublemaker.” Though his tone was dry, Kevin smiled softly. Carrying Devlin gently, he adjusted him in his grip. 

Nothing was going to happen to him under Kevin’s watch. 

108 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 01:29:35 GMT

#1

Rex deserves to chew Caesar out for what he put him through. At least a little bit.

139 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 20:41:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[honeyandbloodpoetry]

Gender Thoughts Pt 1 and 2

The first time I put a binder on, a little under a week ago, I felt euphoric. Ever since I hit puberty very early on, I felt uncomfortable with my breasts. They never felt right on me, and even though I’ve come to love them sometimes, they still don’t always feel like they match up. I hated how people always looked at them, pointed out how much they showed in low cut shirts when I never even noticed they were--or even wanted them to. They were just there. I liked the way low cut shirts feel and look on me, I just can’t help these giant sacks of flesh that sit on my chest. 

Except...now I can! I ran my hands over my smooth chest, feeling bright. I looked into the mirror, and felt something warm wash over me. I put on my new masculine clothes, letting my partner clip on my new suspenders. I realized that I was shaking as I looked at myself again… I looked like a boy. I felt like a boy. Like a man. And I liked it. I wanted it. Admitting that to myself was like coming home. 

I remember being in sixth grade, walking around the track for my civil air patrol class. I had been slotted in with the rest of the girls, the boys walking ahead of us. I remember feeling uncomfortable being shoved in with only girls, and looking at the gaggle of boys ahead. The exact thought that whispered in my brain was “I wish I was a boy. I want to be like them, with them.” I never forgot that moment, and how strange it made me feel. How it was easier to shake that thought away, and dismiss those feelings. Except they never really left, did they? 

I remember sitting on my bed, crying with my best friend kneeling in front of me. I remember telling her how I didn’t like feeling like a woman all the time. That I wished I could be a black shadow, monstrous, androdynous. Specifically like Venom. She took my hand, did my makeup all in black and helped me pick out the perfect black outfit to achieve that dark, gothic look. I was so incredibly happy and validated. But I still felt like something was missing. 

I remember going into an Adam and Eve for laugh, not expecting much since I am an asexual with a low libido. I remember seeing packers and feeling my chest tighten. I never liked my genitalia--I had wished for a cloaca or something akin to that, but since that was biologically impossible for a human… I sometimes wished I had the opposite of a vagina. I frequently imagined what it would be like to have a penis. I frequently lamented the fact that I didn’t have one. I took the box up to the counter to ask some questions, my dress swishing as I went. The cashier told me it was for trans people only, and a girl like me couldn’t have it. She didn’t know what asexuality was, and had tried polyamory once but decided it was bad when her girlfriend kissed her boyfriend. I was upset, disheartened, and left the store empty handed feeling frustrated and lost.

I remember finally cutting the long, curly locks that had frustrated and imprisoned me for so long. Seeing all of my hair fall to the floor, staring into the mirror as the barber buzzed the back of my head… It made me want to cry tears of joy. It was the first time in my entire life that I had looked at my hair and was happy. The first time I could look in the mirror and feel like myself. Then I remember wanting to go shorter, and my barber encouraging me to keep it a little longer so I didn’t look manly, so I could still be soft and feminine. The way my stomach dropped and the sick feeling in my chest only increased when he began to make fun of the gay men who came down the street near his favorite restaurant. I never saw that barber again. I instead found a nice local place down the road from my apartment, where the kind lady cut it all off without question, other than “Why?” and accepted my warm “It makes me happy. It makes me feel beautiful.” 

But wearing that binder for the first time? It was as if a beam of light had funneled its way directly into my heart. I felt like a handsome man, with just a little bit of striking man boob, and it felt so right. My partner called me a dashing boy and my heart began to race. I still feel his hand tracing my jawline as he called me handsome, and the butterflies it sent up through my belly, even after more than eleven years. 

I love my partner--he identifies as agender and primarily masculine, and has been on the lookout for a good pair of size thirteen shoes to wear with a dress. They also wear joggers and flip flops and graphic tees and can’t seem to stop talking about the ocean and outer space. They’re probably one of my biggest inspirations for finding myself, and being authentically me. 

I’m not super sure who or what I am right now. I’m still figuring that out, but I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere between agender and genderfluid. I feel like me more than anything else, but all pronouns make me feel good. I feel like all of them and none of them at once, but I swing between wanting to be feminine and masculine pretty strongly, though I enjoy being masculine most of all--even when I’m wearing dresses and pink. I feel like a beautiful person in a dress or a button down, no matter what gender I feel like today or tomorrow. 

I am me. And I am one dashing boy, and one beautiful girl. 

4 July 2021

XXX

Since first writing this little essay, I’ve been doing a lot more examination of my gender. I have come to the conclusion that I am transmasc and nonbinary, and am shaky on the title of genderfluid. I am feeling less and less like a woman--if anything, occasionally adjacent to a woman rather than actually being one. I love feeling like and presenting as a man. I have my first appointment with a gender services doctor at my local community clinic for consultation on starting hrt testosterone. I am planning to start with low dose first, and see how I feel. 

I am still unsure of my exact identity, but I have found great euphoria with being and presenting as a man. I love being a man and everything that entails. I have loved myself like never before. Being with my partner is amazing, and he has been endlessly supportive--even recounting little things they had noticed throughout the years. One of the funniest being that I only ever referred to my body parts--my belly, hands, hair, genitalia--with masculine pronouns. I always seemed to see my body as male even if I had a certain sort of dissonance from it. 

Coming out has been difficult. I have had both positive and negative experiences from it. I have been told going on testosterone would be self harm, and that I can’t be something I’m not. I’ve had coworkers I trusted out me without my permission. But I have also had positive affirmation, polite questions, and discussions. I am terrified to tell my mother and her boyfriend--I have no idea how they will react and am terrified that I will be disrespected and disowned. 

But I am prepared to do whatever it takes to be my happiest and most authentic self. 

I have been binding a lot more often, wearing sports bras for long shifts at work, and occasionally going without either when I feel like letting my man boobs hang free. I’ve had the delightful experience of going to a men’s big and tall store and finally wearing pants. I grew up as a fat girl and felt as if I had to perform high femininity to be taken seriously and be treated well--and had been told by someone I trusted that I was too fat to wear pants, which I heavily internalized. So I had completely cast them away in favor of dresses and skirts, bows and gaudy jewelry. Realizing that I could wear pants was...totally wild. That I could be comfortable and look good in pants and shorts, and that it didn’t matter what people did or thought of me was life changing. Maybe I’ll feel like being feminine again someday, but right now this masculinity and masculine clothing, with perhaps the added spice of funky earrings, feels like home. 

I also grew up autistic and with PCOS, both which I think have affected my gender identity. Being autistic, I truly struggled to connect to others socially, and especially to understand societal norms. Being a proper woman felt like I was making up for everything else I was lacking--I may have been awkward, semi-verbal and weird with no friends, but at least I was cute and girlish. I never connected to womanhood though, and always felt out of place no matter how hard I tried. With PCOS, I had heightened testosterone, which meant wider breasts and shoulders, a lack of periods, and excessive body hair. I recall the endocrinologist asking high school age me if I had excessive body hair around my stomach, breasts, etc. and my mother jumping to say no I didn’t...even though I did. I remember suddenly feeling very self aware and ashamed of something completely natural, and even something I started to enjoy. I started shaving my entire body then. 

I even remember being in middle school, and thinking nothing of my hairy legs. In fact, I loved my body hair and how it felt. A rude girl began making fun of me though, tutting her tongue as she cooed, “Aw, does your mommy not let you shave?” Among other things, all throughout many years of severe bullying and abuse. I remember feeling ashamed, but not knowing why, and immediately shaving my legs, covering them in nicks from my shaky and unsteady hands, that same night. 

So many things set me back in my gender expression. So many things contributed to me willful ignorance and denial. I remember wanting to be butch, and everyone in my life laughing at me and saying I was too soft for that. That sweet, sharp ache in my chest. I remember going to a salad bar with my mother, wearing a button up and telling her I wanted to wear some more boyish clothes around that same time--I had already told her that I was bi sometime earlier. I remember her lip curling, looking uncomfortable, and telling me that I better not become one of those boy girls. My late father was very vocal in denouncing homosexuality and specifically men loving men--something which always sat horribly wrong with me on a deeper level. 

I think I might ending up being a trans man. I am still unsure and figuring myself out, but I struggle greatly with the autistic need for sameness vs. the trans need for change. My sapphic love of women has always been very important to me, and fully becoming a man rather than genderfluid is scary for that very reason. I am still navigating my identity and what it means to me and my reality--but no matter what, being a man, being masculine is integral to who I am. 

I was called a “sir” at a job interview for the first time the other day, and nearly began to bawl from sheer joy. The gender euphoria from that and so many moments is worth so much more to me than the years of suffering and ignorance and my ongoing struggles with dysphoria. I finally got a packer and have had help from my partner in learning to position it properly--I am thinking of cutting my hair even shorter. I have almost perfected a pretty basic tie tying skill. Okay, not really, but I’m getting there. I feel deep inside that even though my father loved me, he would not like who and what I am. Still, I wear the last watch he ever wore, and hope to be a good man like him--and to learn from the toxic parts of him to be an even better man. 

I am very excited to start hrt. I am terrified of hair loss and vaginal atrophy, but I look forward to so much more. I cannot wait for bottom growth and body hair, for the voice drop that will hopefully get me misgendered less. I have always felt disconnected from my voice and look forward to getting to know it better as it changes with me. I look forward to meeting with new facial hair. Working out and growing muscle. I just look forward to my second puberty and becoming more like myself. I look forward to navigating and exploring my gender even further, both with loved ones, support groups, and myself. 

More than anything, I am just happy to be me. 

25 August 2021

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[twilitty]

3 & 3 bella x jacob for your fic ask game? 👀👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you for the ask! I almost went wayyy overboard with this so I had to rein myself in lol I hope you enjoy it! Just a sweet little date to the movies (1.2k words) warning: this was not proof read lol so ignore any mistakes please

It was Billys idea for Jake and I to go to the movies, or rather, it was his idea for us to leave his house and suggested the movie theatre to ensure we’d be gone for a length of time. Billy Black, while a fan of both his son and I, is not a fan of having his living room dominated by us. After our latest movie recorded over his baseball game he told us we had to find another place to go, and that once the MLB season was over we’d be allowed back in the house. This seems to affect Jacob more than it does me.

“I don’t see why he can’t just go watch with Harry or your dad or something,” He complains to me after we pile into my truck, him taking over the drivers seat because apparently I make him nauseous. No, not me, my driving abilities. It’s a common argument in our relationship although our arrangement of him driving works better for both of us. I get to look out the window and choose the music, he is saved from the migraine and stomach ache my driving supposedly causes.

“That’s his house, we shouldn’t be kicking him out,” I say while sliding through radio stations. “Besides this way we get movie popcorn not the microwave stuff.” This way I am also forced to dress in something other than sweatpants and a big t-shirt, which seems to be my uniform whenever I’m at the Blacks. This is my first time wearing jeans in nearly a week, the texture is familiar and rejuvenates my confidence. I mentally thank Billy.

“That’s my house,” the boy next to me says, sounding just a little bit like a scorned toddler. “I should get some rights to the TV.”

“You get TV rights once baseball is over,” I say, rephrasing what his father told us. I have no idea when the baseball season officially ends, or even when it started. And, I don’t dare say this for fear that Jake’s mood will remain negative, but I think another sport comes after baseball. Maybe football? Or hockey? Jacob will likely not get TV rights until he moves out and buys his own TV.

“Yeah, yeah, just not the same thing.”

The drive into Port Angeles, which houses the nearest theatre, is comfortable and quiet except for new age rock playing through the speakers. Jake has tried to install an aux input, so I can play music from my phone, but I won’t let him. I enjoy the radio, and besides there are too many choices on my phone.

The movie theatre is dead. It’s not a deal day and no new movies have been released, or at least not any popular movies. The theatre is hosting Actress Night, where they showcase some of the highest ranking movies from an actress previously voted on. It’s Julia Roberts tonight, Jennifer Aniston tomorrow, and some other woman we’re way too young to know the name of after that. Jake purchases us two tickets, I pick up the bill for popcorn and drinks.

This is one of my favourite things about being with Jacob. It’s so easy. He pays for some stuff and I pay for some and sometimes when we’re both broke we just sit at home and eat stale pretzels while watching Real Housewife reruns. I don’t have to worry about owing him money or the scales of our relationship being tipped unevenly.

The room which hosts our movie, Pretty Woman, is nearly empty except for a few middle aged couples sitting near the front. “I’ll never understand why adults congregate at the front like that, it must hurt their eyes to be so close to the screen,” I mumble as we pass two men sitting so close their heads are tilted completely upwards just to see the opening advertisements.

“Or,” Jacob tells me, “They’ll be too busy getting funky to watch.” That’s the other thing with dating Jacob Black, he enjoys saying things that he knows get under my skin. He’s brash, bold, saying whatever he wants. I’m a little more timid, and this is something I never forget when I’m with him.

“Ohmigod.” I duck my head, grabbing his wrist to pull him up the glow-in-the-dark stairs. “I doubt they’re… getting funky.” His wrist twists and I end up holding his hand, him stepping up to be on the same level as me.

“Bella, come on, adults always come to the movies to get freaky-”

“Stop with the lingo or I leave,” I bluff. “No more funky or freaky, got it, Black?”

He squeezes my hand once, smiling down at me with mild humour, russet skin illuminated by the stairs. I love his smile. “Alright,” he agrees with a sideways pull of his mouth, trying to hide a laugh. “But you better not be expecting anything spicy from me tonight.” A woman turns over her shoulder to look at us, a frown impeding on her expression. Jake notices this and guffaws a little too loudly. “Come on, let's go.”

He pulls me up the stairs to the very top level, my feet all too willing to carry me away from the scowling woman. We sit in the middle of the row and I can hear Jessica in my mind, the back row is for more than kissing. I should know, Mike and I always sit in the back row. Angela had a field day with this information, by which I mean every time she and I went to the movies she would actively avoid the back row so as to not contaminate her clothing with the supposedly filthy seats. Now, sitting next to my boyfriend in the more than kissing row, I am feeling a little worried about the state of our seats.

The movie title rolls as Jake slides his phone off and places it in my purse, which he dutifully places on the seat next to him. “To make sure nobody snatches it,” he informs me, even though out of all twelve people in the room, we are the only ones up here. The popcorn stays on his lap, pushed against the arm rest so I can access it without needing to lean all the way over. He won’t let me hold the bag, which is my own fault. I tend to hoard my movie snacks and he is most definitely not letting that happen.

As the movie opens, Julia Roberts dressed scantily, Jake takes my hand in his as I reach for popcorn. “If you finish this within the first fifteen minutes I will be very disappointed in you.” He whispers it, sending a pointed look at me, as if I’m known for my Olympic-level popcorn eating skills. I am not known for this skill, and the only person aware of it is Jacob Black and he seems hell bent on making sure I don’t eat my share and then his.

“You’re such a nerd,” I whisper back, but even I can hear the smile in my voice. He releases my hand for a moment before recatching it and twining his fingers through mine. We sit like this for a while, hand in hand, me craving a sticky handful of popcorn and him all too happy to watch me struggle to eat with my free hand.

The movie continues, Jake whispering criticisms in my ear as new events and plot turns take place. When Julia is denied help at the expensive store he whispers, “I would have served her,” then with a look at my expression he quickly back peddles, “not ‘cause she’s pretty but ‘cause she deserves respect and service. You gotta treat people fairly, you know.” Then we lapse back into silence.

The movie ends, I take the empty cups and popcorn bag, Jake takes my purse and informs me that it brings out the honey shades in his eyes. I’m not sure he even knows what that means, but let him hold my purse because he enjoys doing things like that. Sometimes I bring my purse even when I don’t need it, just so he can hold onto it.

[peeterparkr]

perfidy;tom holland|3

chapter 3: the background music

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits 

story summary: Tom and you have been sworn enemies since you were young. However, you happened to be best friends with the twins. When one of your friends challenged you to break Tom’s heart, you immediately accepted to get back at him for all the times he’s hurt you. Old feelings might come back, while both of you try to go past your pride and your lies.

chapter summary: you get a chance to get closer to Tom, and you take it.  

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex (? didn’t proof read

word count: 6k (whoops)

here’s a playlist

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

Hi! I’ve been super busy I’m sorry! And I rewrote this like a thousand times but I like where this is going, so please! Tell me what you think, comments and reblogs are very welcome. (Btw it’d be cool if you listened to the songs) 

It’s been a while since you felt your heart halt with excitement. You hadn’t felt your stomach jolt with butterflies since your first date with Timmy. And you kind of missed it, that ever lasting and wonderful joy to experience on a first encounter. The smiles, the tingle and the hand shaking. The little hints of flirting that led to asking someone out. It’s like walking into a movie theatre, with a promise of joy, with the taste of popcorn,  and you find yourself walking in with excitement and getting transported into a whole new other world. 

Love, like any movie, can be good, can be bad. Like a good story, one that’s promising and you can’t stop watching, and you want to see yourself in the emotions, and feel the air and the breeze. 

Love is like movies, some of them you like, some of them you don’t. Movies make us cry, make us feel. Some of them make us laugh, some of them not so much. 

And love, it has its own background music. Like in films, there are songs that just transport you back to that moment, to that scene. With Timmy, it was a calm song, too calm for your own convenience. 

But Tom, not that you loved him, somehow had his own soundtrack. 80’s chaotic rock n’ roll. Rolling Stones vibes. Every time he walked into the room, it felt like one of those scenes in a movie, a bar with little lightning when the guy with blue jeans and white t-shirt walked in, cigarette in the edge of his mouth, walking in vainly, as if he thought everyone had their eyes on him. They probably did, if you were honest that made you hate him even more, but somehow it was interesting. A character that probably had no other personality trait than being an asshole. 

It wasn’t always like that. Not that notorious, at least. Tom had changed from a 60’s chaotic rock n roll. Always rock n roll. You could picture it, if you had to imagine a scene from your childhood with Tom, you’d probably play The Kinks. Picture Book. 

When Tom and you were younger, it was absolutely clear you didn’t get along. Constant hair pulling, insults, and pranks. A parade of hatred, yelling, fighting and very unnecessary arguments over very stupid stuff. And yes, Tom was still wrong, Robin Hood was not the superior Disney movie, just to clear that out. 

Everyone said it: Those two can’t hate each other more. They were right. 

At school, if you ever crossed paths, there’d be trouble. You’d often be at the principal’s office after having a heated argument with Tom or a prank, or…whatever you guys had come up with this time. 

It was quite clear. 

Your mother and Nikki, however, had a very different opinion on your relationship than anyone else, they were aware of your attitude and Tom’s, but they were still convinced they would fix it, and you didn’t blame them, you’d also be pissed if in the future your children didn’t get along with Harry’s or Sam’s, you’d try to force it as well. At a point, they stopped forcing the ‘future romantic relationship’ bullshit dream and settled with trying to get you guys getting along without fighting. They were sure that the fighting was probably because you had only a few things in common, so they pushed your activities together. 

Add in some Johnny B. Goode to remember the following. 

First, it was piano lessons. First class and you had already knocked down the piano while yelling at each other. You weren’t welcomed for a second class. Then it was baseball, and Tom had hit your nose with the ball, it had been an accident ‘allegedly’. It wasn’t. You weren’t welcome for that class either. Painting classes, you had painted Tom’s clothes all green and made his hair pink. The teacher had claimed she’d never seen two kids more unfit for art than you two. 

So, yeah, it didn’t work out. 

Eventually, Nikki and your mother decided to stop trying, or at least they gave up the extra classes. At least not together, Tom started ballet and you found joy in photography classes. You were getting along better since you didn’t have to actually spend time together. 

So they’d just ask how your relationship was going and whenever they wanted to have tea together they’d avoid bringing you two together unless you were cool with each other. It made it very difficult that you were very good friends with the twins. 

But you had had your secrets, even after everything, you still crushed on him from time to time. However, the last time you had had any kind of feelings like those had been when he had taken you to prom. Of course it had awakened something in you, but those feelings had never come back because he had broken your heart. What else could you expect from someone like him? After that, you’d promised yourself you’d never fall again for him. Not that you fell for him, but you promised that his smile would never make your stomach jolt with joy. 

It hadn’t. 

Let’s go 70’s music now, maybe. Come and Get Your Love-Redbone. 

Even on your 18th birthday, the last time you ackwloedged you had made out---kissed- with him hadn’t brought any feelings. Or maybe, they had surfaced but they had been very different feelings. They were mostly confused and disgusted. THere had been one more thing but... You decided to ignore it. But you hadn’t really felt anything for him, less when you realized how big of an asshole he was to you. 

You were sure he had never felt anything for you. He had made it very clear. ‘I’d rather eat a frog than kiss you’. Yet, he had kissed you. 

You had once bothered him about it: “Hey Holland, I know why your face looks like that, you said you’d rather eat a frog than kiss me, so you ended up never swallowing that frog!” 

However you were now facing a predicament. You had a month, a month to make him fall in love with you when he clearly had no interest in you. 

That’s all you could think about as you had arrived at his parents’ place. You had been quiet on the ride back home. You hadn’t even told him how it had gone. But he had let you choose the music. You’d love to change the soundtrack on your relationship with Tom, maybe an 80’s more type of funky music. 

You hadn’t told your friends about it, but you had told them you’d be going to a bar later to celebrate. But you had been quiet. You needed to think of something fast because you knew how your boss liked to work, and this was the opportunity of a lifetime. You’d be away for two months and if you didn’t come back with a script for her you’d be screwed. This was the worst timing, Tom was going to start filming in exactly three days, sure he’d start in London and then go to America, but you had to do something quick and come up with a lame excuse to hang out with him. Change the background music in your scenes with him. 

How does one make your enemy fall in love with you? You thought of the possibility of changing the script and sending in an idea to Alessandra, maybe you could talk about something that was actually happening to you. The story of your breakup with Timmy? That could work, although your breakup had been extremely boring. No one would like to watch something as calm and boring and that probably was playing the worst music in history. 

And if you thought about it, with Tom, it was like one of those sexy chaotic rock n’ roll songs. 

How would you make him fall in love with you? And why did you want him to? That’s all you had been thinking about on the way home. Because there was a part of you that wanted him to feel the way you felt back when you were younger. You wanted him to feel that agony of knowing that you liked someone who would rather go eat a frog than to ever like you back. Someone who constantly found ways to hurt you. Who could ever fall in love with such a beast like him? 

Tom led the way to the door. And you gave it a thought, all of this was now just a scene, something you were writing, but writing it along the way. And you pictured it on the script. How you could start and use some childhood scenes, and then, to this exact moment, with a little bit more of imagination. 

Ext. 1989 London Suburbs-Day. 

Y/N gets out of the car, an 86 blue porsche. Tom is playing with the keys and heading to the door. 

Y/N

Hey, Tom? 

You saw it, you could write it. 

“Hey, Tom?” You asked. And you had to take a look at him, and really stare. So he’d know. You knew him, that was your weapon. You knew what he liked, what he didn’t, you knew the girls he’d dated. You had that in your favor, and you knew that Tom loved being noticed. 

He noticed that you were staring and you saw him slightly concerned. 

“Oh, you’re talking, good,” he said as he cleared his throat and then you finally arrived at his face, arching your eyebrows as your eyes met his.. He’d grown up, but you could still see that kid you once knew. “Are you okay?” He asked. And you saw him, he was weirded out. He noticed you were staring. 

“Thanks for the ride, it meant a lot to me.” For starters, you could try to be nice. 

He gave you an awkward smile. “Sure.” 

You walked to the door now, but he stopped you. 

“How did it go?” He asked. And you only patted him on the shoulder. 

“Good, thanks for worrying,” and you placed a kiss on his cheek. And you thought of the camera, maybe a close up to the lipstick stain you’d left. 

He went red and paused, triumphantly you opened the door and there was his whole family. Of course Nikki  would do this. They knew how big this was and they loved making a big deal about it, especially since Tom had driven you. 

This was awkward, it wasn’t like you didn’t feel comfortable with the Hollands, au contraire, but there was that pinch of guilt holding you back, you knew what you were going to do and you felt like everyone knew about it. Especially since they saw Tom was trying to scratch the remaining lipstick on his cheek.

But you walked in, Nikki was on the phone, and she dedicated a big smile to you. 

“It’s your mum!” she mouthed.  Your parents were currently having a perfect vacation in Paris, and if you were honest with yourself, you’d rather be third wheeling your parents than trying to come up with ways to make your biggest enemy fall in love with you. It sounded so dramatic, an enemy. Calling him that seemed so immature and childish. But there was no other way to call him. He was your mortal enemy. 

Dom was the one to approach you and hugged you hello. 

You didn’t know if they sensed your tension. 

“Hey y/n, what’s with the long face?” Sam asked as he grinned looking at you, walking over. “Who died?” 

“Her hopes and dreams, probably,” Tom said behind you. “And her sex life,” he laughed, earning a glare by Nikki. 

“Tom,” Nikki turned stern. 

“What? Didn’t she just break up?” Tom pushed with a smirk. 

Nikki crossed her arms, “Thomas,” her voice was firm as she watched him leave for the kitchen, but then softened as she looked at you. “Y/N, long time no see! I see Tom drove you,” Nikki grinned. 

“Yeah, he did, didn’t leave me alone” you chuckled. “He was nice, that didn’t last” you chuckled. 

“Your brother is coming, too, by the way,” she informed you. Great. But how did it go?” She grinned. “Do you have a job now?” 

“I….” 

Harry tackled you from behind. “Yes,  idiot! How did it go?” 

You chuckled as you turned around to finally hug him. “Hi!” You wanted to tell Harry everything, everything, you hadn’t seen him in a while, he was too busy with his own things and his new girlfriend, Emma.

“Oh, you don’t know how much I missed you,” he said.  

“Me too,” you grinned. “How are things with Emma? How are you?” 

“Good, great, things are… great, I’ve got some news!” He chuckled. “But, okay, tell me everything about the interview, I’m so sorry I couldn’t-”

“Hey, it’s alright! It went amazing! I… Well, it’s complicated, but I kind of nailed it.” 

“Really?” Tom asked as he was opening up a bag of crisps. “Then why were you quiet all this time?” 

“I didn’t want to talk to you,” you snapped. “Never share good news with your enemy.” 

Tom rolled his eyes and forced a laugh.

You turned back to Harry. “But, hey, what is the news?” 

“Um… let’s just… Have lunch.” 

Before you knew it, you were sitting down listening to Harry and Sam, both of them making you laugh with their stories. Tom sat at the other edge of the table, far from you. This was how it usually went, him far away from you and avoiding any eye contact with you. Everyone understood it, and they didn’t try to push it that far anymore. There were times when you turned to eat, when things were bad, but right now it seemed like it was bothering Tom. You could see he wanted to join the conversation at times but he remained on his phone, or talking to his parents. 

Your brother arrived and he sat near Tom, they were friends, and they could talk to each other. And although your brother was aware of your relationship with Tom, he had grown up with him, too so there couldn’t be any hard feelings against them. Besides, everyone in the family was aware of it. This was between you and Tom only, nothing to drag them in.

You caught Tom’s eyes a few times, and you had, against your will, dedicated him a smile or two. He hadn’t smiled back. 

“Okay, so what’s the big deal, y/n?” James asked. “I mean, I love coming over for lunch here but, how did it go? Are you an official writer?” 

You chuckled as you saw them looking at you. “I well…” 

They frowned. 

“Well, they asked me to write a script, for a new series, pitch in an idea, they’re giving me two months to write it and if they like it, I am officially working for them.” 

“That’s nuts,” Harry frowned.

 “That sounds like the worst job offer,” Paddy pointed out. 

“Pads,” Sam frowned at him. 

“It’s a competition kind of thing, if they like it enough, they’ll produce it,” you explained. “That’s why I’m not as...excited.” 

“But it’s a chance,” Tom pointed out. “I… talked to your friend, he… Charlie, that’s his name?” He asked. “And he told me about that and how they’re only choosing between three people.” 

Your eyes widened. He had talked to Charlie and that made you feel uncomfortable. “Yes, well, it’s a shot, it’s better than having nothing.” 

“But wait, until then you have like… No job?” Sam asked.

You bit your lip. “Yup, but hey it’s… a good shot, I honestly thought Alessandra was going to fire me.” 

“That’s nonsense,” James pitched in. “But okay, I’m still proud of you, little one,” he grinned. 

You knew it wasn’t a big shot, but it was a chance. 

“Yes, it’s still good.” Harry pursed his lips.

Nikki and Dom watched you, and you saw it in their eyes the same pity your parents usually had. 

“But hey!” You tried to change the subject. “Harry’s got news too, right?” 

Harry popped his lips. “Yeah, uh… I got… Well, I actually, ...it got in, the screenplay, they’re producing it,” Harry explained, and he said it with the softest voice as if he was trying not to hurt you. But this was weird, you already knew that part. “But well, we’re starting the production in a week in… Scotland.” 

“That’s amazing!” You grinned. 

And his whole family started to cheer for him, and the tension in the room faded out. 

Except when Tom finally… realized something. “Wait, in a week?” Tom asked. “Then… you’re not...coming to help me out?” 

And the table went quiet. Harry was Tom’s assistant, he knew schedules, clothes, everything. Harry was basically Tom’s boss. 

“Yeah, I wanted to talk about that, too,” Harry bit his lip. “I can’t… I would’ve told you sooner so we could find another assistant but-” 

“No, no, don’t apologize,” Tom cleared his throat. “I’m super excited I just… I need to find an assistant.”

And then you saw it. A chance, as if you had just wished upon a star and it had granted you an opportunity. If this hadn’t been the situation you probably would’ve called him out on being so selfish and arrogant and vain as you usually did, but this was unexpected as if the universe was trying to help you with your plan. 

The family started to give him so options and they were trying to find a balance between finding somehting that could soothe stupid Tom and congratulate Harry

“What if… I’m your assistant?” You said, loud enough for all them to quiet down. 

Tom laughed. “What?” 

“Yeah, think about it,” you shrugged. “I don’t have a job right now, and it’ll be what? Two months filming? It’s a perfect time for me to help you out and write” 

Tom frowned, staring at you. “You can’t be serious?” 

“Why not?” You grinned. 

“Because you can’t stand each other,” this time your brother popped in. “And being his assistant would mean spending this entire two months with him.” 

“And he gets pretty annoying,” Sam said. 

“I’m used to that, I can handle that,” you said. 

“I can’t handle you,” Tom frowned. 

“Now, now, Tom it might be… a good idea,” Nikkie said, and of course she would agree. Of course she wanted you to be around him, with hopes of you getting along. And right now, you wanted more than getting along. 

“Yes, you’re both adults now, you can be decent, right?” Dom intruded.

“I can,” you smiled. 

“No, you can’t,” Tom clenched his jaw. 

“Oh, c’mon, Tom, help her out,” Harry said. “Besides, I’m sure she’ll be great, she'd be amazing at planning.” 

Tom looked away. “I’ll… think about it.” 

Lunch became quiet on Tom’s side of the table, while you kept talking to Harry and Sam. You weren’t quiet, and eventually ended up in the living room, having a laugh and waiting for it to get dark so you could go to the bar where you’d meet your friends. 

You borrowed a hoodie and then you were good to go, Sam, Harry and you were about to walk out when you bumped into Tom who had also stayed, talking to your brother, who had just left. 

Tom looked at the three of you and walked past you. 

“Have fun.” 

Usually, he wouldn’t be invited, but right now you were under very different circumstances. It felt different. And there was still that tinge in your ear telling you to back away, no one should play with fire unless you want to get burned. 

“You can come, too,” you said as you turned around. 

“What?” Tom frowned as he stopped. 

“You’re invited,” you cleared up, as he slightly turned to you. 

“Really?” 

“Sure,” you smiled. “C’mon it’s my way to pay you for the ride.” 

He clenched his jaw, but he quickly accepted it and joined you. 

Before you knew it, you had a beer in your hand and he was sitting right beside you. You didn’t understand how or why, but he had been the one to sit without a warning. You were in your favorite booth at the end of the pub where you had a little bit more privacy. And you watched Tom, and his cap. 

You didn’t stand him, why were you going to risk it all for this? And the idea of being his assistant was giving you a headache. 

But you thought about it, how stupid it was of Alessandra to ask for a script based on real life. It was probably one of her most stupid ideas, and you knew that she probably was doing it because she believed of herself as a teacher that was giving the key of art to the interns. When in reality she was only pushing everyone back. But maybe this would be a challenge for you, you’d never written anything remotely close to a love story, only when younger, maybe, but you didn’t like writing love because it didn’t feel like a challenge to you. Maybe it was now. 

Somehow, Charlie and Danielle had decided that the perfect way to get the evening going was to ask about your childhood. 

There was a live group playing music, and somehow you felt it was a sign. 70’s and 80’s rock n’ roll. It suited the vibe, as the light was dimmed out. 

“Man, I—If I’m honest, I think we probably have everything filmed,” Tom said, as he answered Danielle’s question of your childhood. “Y/N and Harry used to carry that camera everywhere.” 

The beer in your hand was bittersweet, you had stopped counting how many you had had, Tom kept ordering you both beer, something advised by Harry and Sam, who had pointed out you both needed to be a little bit tipsy to stand each other. 

“Really?” Charlie asked. 

“Yes, we should pick that up again, you know?” You nodded, as you let down your beer, you brushed your fingers against Tom’s. “It's good to have memories.” 

Harry grinned. “I mean we didn’t really stop.” 

“No, but you know, we used to literally film everything we’d be filming this!” You pointed out. 

Tom chuckled as he took out his phone. “Hey everyone, it’s Tom and I’m kind of drunk here,” he admitted to the camera. “On my side, you’ll be able to see a troll, one of a kind, viewer discretion is advised,” he pointed at you as you glared at him. 

“Oh, piss off.” 

“See? Oh maybe I’m wrong, are you a witch?” He smirked as he pointed the camera at you. 

“Change a letter there, sweetheart,” Charlie grinned. “It’s not a w it’s a b.” 

Harry snickered. “Oh, don’t give him ideas.”

Tom shook his head. “Nah, she’s more of a witch,” Tom said carefully as he turned to you. “The wicked witch of the east.” 

“It’s the west, dumbass,” you corrected him. 

“No, because the one who died is the one from the east,” he winked at you. “And I’m Glinda.” 

“You know she’s the real villain of the story right?” You frowned. 

“She is not.” 

“No, she’s not but—“you chuckled. “I’m drunk. I dunno.”

But the conversation was flowing and you were hinting some flirting at Tom sometimes, like casually touching his shoulder or batting your eyes a bit more, and he was catching up on it. But your nature would show up and you’d end up mocking each other and rolling your eyes. If anything, you could blame it on the alcohol. 

“You know, you know what you two need?” Charlie said between drunken giggles. Tom was recording again as he made silly faces to the camera but then started to record you.  

“A burger,” you answered, turning back to Charlie. 

“With chips, yes,” Tom agreed and you laughed and slightly leaned against him. You had significantly gotten closer to him through the night and you were sure his hand had landed several times on your waist. His hand was slightly now behind your shoulders, resting against the booth. 

“No, you guys need to bone,” Charlie snaked. You felt your heart falling down and you quickly shifted away from Tom. He retracted his hand to himself. 

Harry burst into laughter. “This dude is mental.” 

“These two?” Sam threw his head back. “oh gosh, if you told them to screw they would actually bring nails and screw,” Sam laughed. 

“Yes, I’d rather have grounds in my coffee than have to spend 5 minutes with him,” you said. 

“And I’d rather eat a frog,” Tom chuckled. 

“Just swallow the one in your mouth,” you giggled,  poking his cheeks then proceeded to make more faces at his camera. 

“I’m serious, all that hatred you’re showing it’s only a facade,” Charlie said. “All of it would be gone if you gave in to that sexual tension you’ve got going on.” 

“Gross,” you stated

“It’s simple psychology,” Charlie explained, “you’re both rude to each other because you can’t have the other.” 

Harry coughed, “That would never happen.” You saw Harry gulp down his beer, 

“Why can’t people just accept we don’t like each other?” You wondered as you watched them. 

“You’re like my soulmate but for hate,” Tom zoned out for a minute. “My soulhate.” 

“Besides it’d be weird,” Harry pointed out. “We grew up together.” 

“That would make it weird?” Tom raised his brow. 

Charlie took a long sip of his vodka. “I’m just saying.” 

“Well, don’t,” you rolled your eyes.

 But the night continued, Charlie and Danielle left eventually leaving you with the Holland’s. The twins left and, you hadn’t accepted their offer to drive you home. Surprisingly Tom hadn’t left either, it seemed like he had picked up on your little flirting game. This was a good start. 

“So, you really do want to be my new assistant?” He asked, as he snatched your drink out of your hand, taking a sip. 

“I actually do,” you sassed as you took it back, sipping it. “I need a job and might as well have something to kind of do with a big star, you know?”

He watched you. “You think we will last without fighting?”

“No.” 

“Then?” 

“Well, you’ve got a better idea? Have anyone else for the job? You start in three days” you pointed out. 

He rolled his eyes. “I know, I know.”

“Besides, I know you, Tom, for better or for worse,” you admitted. 

He clenched his jaw. “I guess. You do realize we’ll have to spend an awful lot of time together? And that you’ll have to travel with me?” He was condescending. 

“It’ll be strictly business, won’t it?”

“Yes but-“

“I’ll be as professional as I can be, Thomas Stanley Holland,” you grinned

“Don’t call me that.”

You giggled. “Little Stanley…” 

Tom frowned. LY/N, see? This. This is what I mean.” 

“Ah, c’mon Stan,” you laughed. “I won’t be showing all your embarrassing pictures and telling your stories to everybody.” 

Tom stood up, ready to leave. “That’s it.” 

You pulled him back down. “Tommy, I’m joking.”

He glared at you. “I don’t trust you.” 

“You think I trust you?” You laughed. “We both can lose a lot here, Tommy, I won’t be risking my career in spite of yours.”

He bit his lip, looking away. 

“Tommy, please.”

“I...fine. But I need you to understand… You’ll be spending time with me.” 

“I’m looking forward to it,” you said, but it came out very poisonous, earning a scoff from Tom. “Why are you scared?” 

“Because I honestly think this is the most time we’ve shared without tearing each other apart,” he shrugged. 

You stared down at the half full bottle that you’d been sharing. You took it into your hands. 

“Ah, it’s the beer, probably,” you grinned

He took it from your hands and sipped it. “Right, alcohol makes us nice to each other.” 

“You call this nice?” You took the beer back. 

“I’m not trying to ruin your life so yes,” he smirked, taking it back. 

“Am I ruining yours?”

“Kind of,” he admitted. 

You smirked as you finally took the beer back and downed it. “Good.”

“Shall I remain drunk all the time, then?” He laughed, his laughter was dragged. 

“Dunno, it’s up to you, you do tend to get a little nicer,” 

He laughed. “Me? You’re the one who hasn’t been able to keep her hands to herself,” he pointed out as your hand had brushed his. 

You clenched your jaw. “And you haven’t pushed me away,” you smirked, as you took his hand and pushed it away.

Tom licked his lips as he stared at you. “Well.” He shrugged, as he placed his arm back behind you, resting it back on the chair. 

“See? Alcohol.” 

He laughed. “I can’t be drunk all the time.”

“I can.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Tom, I’m joking, and I genuinely want to help you,” you said. “Besides, I’ll have time to write this script.” 

He rested his hand on his head, you could smell the alcohol even from that distance. “What will you write about?” 

“Dunno, I’ll see.” 

“You’re good, don’t worry.” 

You rolled your eyes. “You’ve never read me.” 

“I’ve read many of your scripts,” Tom scoffed. “Not only the ones when we were little, I...also the ones you’ve shown to Harry, they’re all good.”

You frowned. “Thanks.” 

“I don’t see why you’re so stressed about this.”

“Because… it’s complicated,” you shrugged. “It’s not...something I usually write.” 

“Hm. Is it a love story what you need to write?” He mocked. 

“I well, kind of, so shut up, you know I hate writing those,” you rolled your eyes.

“Hm, you do, now?”

“Yes, I don’t think I���ve ever written some true authentic love story,” you admitted. And you hadn’t, you really hadn’t. 

“Because you’re the villain of the stories, you said it when we were kids. The villains will never…”

“Never find love, I know. Maybe you’re right. But you’re the villain in my story so…” You wrinkled your nose. 

“We’re doomed.” He bit his lip. 

“Or…” You grinned. 

“Or?” He frowned. 

“Maybe the villains end up falling for each other,” you suggested, shooting your shot. 

He laughed to himself and turned away. A slight blush upon his. “Hm, hinting a crush again, y/n? I think I’ve been clear with you before, you’re not my type.” His voice had turned darker. 

“Oh, please, Tom, I’d never fall for some jerk like you,” you pushed. 

“You did once.” 

“I was 9 and stupid” 

“Oh, right you’re not 9 anymore, but you’re still stupid,” he grinned. 

You shrugged. “But not as stupid as to be one of those many who’d fall for you, you know?” “Ah, the I’m not like other girls cliché,” Tom laughed, rolling his eyes. 

“Yes, but it’s not really a cliché here,” you pointed out. “I mean if we’re honest, I know you enough to know you’re an asshole, and everyone else sees you through the cameras, you know?”

He raised his brows. “I guess… yet...You’ve always been different, y/n, you know? Like, I’m always on the edge with you.” 

You grinned. “Are you now?” 

“Yeah, one minute you’re flirting then the other you’re doing this,” he pointed at your glaring face, as you felt yourself blushing ignoring his gaze. “it’s weird. I never know if you’re flirting or not.”

“I’m not,” you crossed your arms. “Not with you.” 

“Then who were you flirting with all night? Harry? Sam?” Tom pushed. 

“No… Charlie.” 

“Charlie? The gay guy,” Tom laughed. 

You flipped him off. 

He smired. “See? Just two seconds ago you had your hand in my hair.”

“Alcohol.” 

The lights were dimmed. 

“We should… get out of here, I’ll get us an uber.” 

You walked out, tipsy enough to walk and just slightly cold. You knew that asking for his jacket would earn only a laugh from him. He had been just nice enough now, and you knew this could blow up. But you felt dizzy, and to keep yourself steady you grabbed his arm. He didn’t move as he stared at his phone. 

“You’re always like that, you know?” 

“Like what?” 

“You’re like polar opposites in one person,” he commented. 

You pushed him away. “Ah great, am I bipolar now?”

“No, no, that’s not…”He closed his eyes. “Not what I meant.” 

The car arrived and you both hopped into the backseat. 

“That’s not what I meant,” he continued. 

“Then what did you mean?” You crossed your arms. 

“I don’t know.” 

You glanced at him. “And you’re worse, you’ve been playing with me since kids.” 

“What does that---?” He frowned. “I never-” 

“You always gave me hope.”

“I didn’t. Maybe you were too busy dreaming with me and misread everything, I’ve never liked you.

“I’m not implying you liked me,” you snapped. 

“Then?”

“I’m implying you were an asshole.” 

The driver widened his eyes as he looked at you from the mirror, you saw he was trying to suppress a smile.

Tom clenched his jaw. “Ah, that I am, but, please, sweetheart but you and I could never be.” 

“I know, mainly because I despise you.” 

He scooted closer. “And because I’m cool and you’re you.”

“And I’m me?” You saw him getting extremely closer. 

He held your chin. “Look at us, y/n we come from different worlds.” He was leaning in. 

“As long as I remember we grew up in the same one, yet you still managed to become an asshole,” you pushed his face away from yours. 

“I think we’re getting a little bit mean again,” Tom rolled his eyes. 

You remained quiet. 

“I don’t know y/n, maybe they’re all right, I—”

“Who?”

“Everyone maybe we—have to I dunno,” He placed his hand on your leg and you raised your brows. 

“What?” 

He slowly wrapped his arm behind your shoulder and leaned closer. “I feel like we need to loosen up a little y/n.” 

You felt your heart racing, you were angry, you didn’t like this and you didn’t want him to believe that you actually still fancied him, but this was all working, this is exactly where you technically wanted to have him. So, you had to give in.

“And what do you suggest?” Your voice was low. 

“I don’t know, I’m giving in to all your flirting,” He laughed as he scooted closer.

You turned around, and laughed. “My flirting?

It felt like late 60’s, rock n roll

Tom, turned your head back to him. “Please you’ve been doing it since you came out of that interview.” 

“Hm,” you nodded. “I remember being quiet.” 

“And I remember those lips on my cheek,” he gently poked your lips, and maybe it was the alcohol speaking for itself but you wanted to kiss him, and kiss every single spot on his skin. 

You cleared your throat. “Ah, please Tom, I was being nice,” you rolled your eyes. 

But then you felt his lips against your neck, you instinctively closed your eyes. 

“Hm, maybe be nicer?” he kept kissing your neck. 

“Nicer?” 

“You know, lips on mine,” he whispered. 

You rolled your eyes. “You’re drunk, Tom”

“Maybe, but you are, too,” and with that he sealed the deal and closed the gap, combining your lips with yours. And maybe the driver had done it on purpose, or maybe it was faith or your imagination,, trying to get a perfect soundtrack for you, but ‘You Shook Me’ by Led Zeppelin was just the exact song you needed to listen to while kissing your enemy. But how far were you going to let yourself go? 

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