#also if you want to talk about how much you don’t like animal farm bc of how pessimistic it is with me

[catwouthats]

Saying that fanfic isn’t as enriching as regular books is such a fucking lie

1) not all fanfic is smutt and not all books are thought provoking, not that it matters for a book to be considered official anyways. All reading is reading. There is literally pulp fiction. There is literally Colleen Hover. A lot of fanfic authors are literally published writers too.

2) some of my most mind altering moments have been induced because of a fucking fanfic. And before y’all say “well you just haven’t read good literature!” I have literally read Charles Dickens, George Orwell and Shakespeare. Those were also good. I’d say Oliver Twist, Hamlet, and that fanfic I read were possibly some of the best shit. On equal playing fields. I analyze tf out of all media I consume.

Go fuck off with your lowkey elitist take that fanfic is below the level books are at. Just because someone can’t print their writing, whether due to copyright or a lack of money/ability, doesn’t mean that it’s “less than”.

Let’s also not forget that A LOT OF GREAT LITERATURE IS JUST STRAIGHT UP FANFIC!!!!!!

[wayfayrr]

Alright, I wonder how long an ask can be. U asked for it!😝

Also, if u were curious, since I’ve only played Botw and most but not all of totk, 98% of the time my yandere self-aware ideas will be of Wild/Tears.

How does Wild/Tears feel about the fairies? Like, is he embarrassed that reader has to watch that? Does he worry what they think? Or is he just like “eh, I can’t control their upgrade animations, sorry”. Then how does he feel when reader thinks it’s kinda cute/funny? I don’t want to traumatize the poor guy, but I must admit watching the level four animation is slightly funny bc I feel so bad for him. And in level three when he covers his face is cute.

What about when he just has to sit there for 10 hrs his time? Listen, I wanna upgrade the darn champion’s tunic but the stupid upgrades require 2 of each farmable dragon Zelda item. And I couldn’t find her for so long it was annoying. Ik she follows a certain path but even so u have to just keep following the path hoping u eventually run into her. So I just decided to farm an item, then sit there for 10 minutes r time until she’s farmable again. So how does Tears feel? Am I wasting his time? Is he bored? If he had an animation for it would he fall asleep? Would he glare at me for making him sit there for 10 hours? Plus, ima be honest. For those 10 minutes of me just waiting, I’ll usually scroll on my phone. I’m not gonna stare at the tv for 10 minutes, sorry lol. So is he mad that I’m not paying attention to him and stuff?

What about if I laugh at him? Alright, I don’t do it That much lol, just if I make an embarrassing mistake w him and he looks a little funny. Would he be embarrassed? Mad? ….?? I think he’s cuuute! It’s fiiine, right…?😭

Thinking about my one ask where I used him for science, totally not using bombs on him for any other reason! Anyway, so I have to admit, his overheating animation I like. I’m all for angst/whump w characters. Whenever I read AO3, 98% of the stories r angst/whump for Wild/Tears. Sicfic? Yes please! Nightmares? Yes please! Psychological torture? Sign me up! There was this one fic someone wrote about Wild being hit by a curse that trapped him in his memory next time he unlocked one, so he had to watch it over and over and over. The rest of the chain had to save him. Tho, if it makes u feel any better, I only like happy endings, no open ended ones, no sad ones, or character deaths. Nope. Fairy tale where they all lived happily ever after please and thank u lol. So anyway, I got sidetracked lol. My question was, would he be mad if I just put the game on the clothes menu when he’s overheating so he doesn’t lose any hearts over it, just watching him do it for a minute or two?

Sometimes I need to wear like one clothing item per outfit so I can use like 3 different abilities. For example, maybe bandana to climb faster, gloom shirt for an extra heartbreak, and snow pants bc it’s freezing? And sometimes I’ll complain that he looks ugly, well, not him, but the outfit, and say that I wish I could make him look cuter but I need these abilities atm. Does he hate the outfits like I do? Does he care more about function? Does he hate that I care so much?

How does he feel not being able to talk? Like literally every other character can talk except him. And he can’t do anything by himself. Everything he does is either a programmed animation or an action by my controller. I bet he has a lot he wants to say but can’t. Does he ever worry that if he were to get out and see me, what if he couldn’t talk to me??

🐰

yeah it's always a lot easier to think about the links you know better for stuff like this ngl, so I don't blame you for sticking to them. plus wild and tears are just fun too right? :3c

so starting from the top -

I think the fairies are a touchy subject for him, if you like the cutscenes then he can set his discomfort about being picked up and kissed somewhat - don't get me wrong he doesn't enjoy it but for your happiness he'll do it as many times as you make him (although, unless he finds a way to override the controls then it's not really like he has a choice in it) he'll make notes about how you like him acting in certain ways though - I mean if you like seeing him as a blushy mess covering his face in the game then you'll like it more when he's doing it in person right? Please don't make him recreate the level four one though.

To be honest, there's nothing that you could do to him that he could ever consider a waste of time. would he prefer you to be actively engaged? sure. Is he bothered if you're still there but just waiting for a bit for the dragon to recharge? Not really, yeah he'd prefer to be doing more, but at the same time it gives him a chance to observe and to get more of a grasp of how the game works while it's on and running compared to when he's robbed of his body and is left a being floating in a desolate void of numbers and machine code. He can relax and still have feeling and eyes on you and your eyes on him every now and then even though it's not as often as he'd like. as for the time? I think once he became aware he stopped running on hyrules time, so it's only ten minutes for him too. Ten minutes that granted feel longer than that cause of the scenery, but still only ten minutes. if it were a situation where he was still in a hyrule then he'd be further detached from anyone else. (my thoughts are if the game is left in standby on the switch then it's all still loaded and the links have free reign but if it's closed and you're playing another switch game then it tosses them into the abyss)

laughing at him for being cute is all good but please don't make fun of him ;-; he's only doing what you make him do after all!

I need to write more whump and hurt/comfort for tears actually, thanks for the reminder Well, he's not getting hurt by it -soooo he's kinda a bit deluded into thinking that it's another show of love for him. You simply love all the sounds that he's making <3 (and I don't blame you, his whimpers are actually just so adorable?????) You care so much that you're not letting him get hurt for your happiness!!!!

I think he takes it as a compliment that you care so much about how his outfits look, he wants to look his best for you too!!! If he could he'd find a way to stack the different bonuses so that you could treat him like a proper dress up doll without having to worry about the environment and how it impacts him :c he doesn't care what outfit he 'wears' cause it's not like he's actually wearing and interacting with it. it's glued to him like a second skin so whether you're keeping him shirtless or putting him in the thickest shirt possible there's no difference to him just don't mod him so that he's no longer himself please

The fact that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to communicate with you is something that he worries about alot, not even just not having a voice. He'd be fine with being mute if he can write or sign to you, hell he could probably delude himself into being fine that he couldn't do that if he could move freely and hold you. what scares him the most is the idea that he'd be like a puppet cut, that if he gets out that without the code acting as his strings he falls limp like a puppet cut loose. that's what's horrifying to him. anything else he could learn to live with, but that potential keeps him from making any rash movements where the cost could outweigh the benefits. I like to think that out of desperation, (this goes for sky in the fic too) they stole another characters voicebank from another game :) one that speaks your native tongue preferably, but at the very least one that shares a language you speak

[alavenderleaf]

Tagged by @gilliebee <3

Name: Lavender and Leaf interchangeably

Pronouns: he/him and she/her interchangeably (but genuinely okay with whatever, I’m genderfluid c: )

Where do u call home? Dubai, UAE. Even tho it was meant to be a temporary arrangement I’ve lived here my whole life and now any other emirate feels off lol

Favorite animals: goats. You ever jumped around with a baby goat??? Peace and love on planet earth 🥺💕💞💝💘💖💗💓💓💘💝💞💕

When it comes to birds: chickens and pigeons. Everytime I see one I’m like that’s so me. I’m them. They’re me. We are one.

Cereal of choice: anything with chocolate bc I’m still 5 years old

are you visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner? visual for sure, my ears don’t work right and I freaking love diagrams.

First pet: I’ve never named a pet except my current cat (xiexie!!) so my first pet did not have a name. It was a smol baby chick that grew up to be a mean ass spoiled ass fucking rooster who’d peck everyone except me <3

he was raised as a girl bc whoever gave me the chick told me it’s a chicken not a rooster and my dumbass did not recognize the signs of him being male and would argue with everyone who tried convincing me otherwise 🤠 denial is one hell of a drug bc how could I see the tail and mohawk (?? Tf u call that thing on its head) and be like “yes this is a chicken :) I see nothing wrong about this” anyway trans king. He’s just like mommy <3

I did have to give him away eventually :( he was taken to some uncle’s farm and got a chicken harem like the high value alpha male I knew he always had the capacity to be 😌 (ofc until another rooster was brought over and he lost the fight. He was plucked naked and shunned and he passed away featherless and bitchless. But we don’t talk about that)

Favorite scent: ………… lavend-*gun shots*

do you believe in astrology? Not really? But it’s so much fun !! :) I am a Capricorn sun Taurus moon and Leo rising, so do with that as you will <3

how many playlists do you have in apple music/spotify? I don’t use Apple Music. Spotify is purely for my friends so we can send playlists back and forth but I hate that everything is paywalled and it decides to choose shit for me. Like bitch. I did not add any of these songs to the playlist get tf away from me. Also why can’t I listen to my music offline???? I hate u. Anyway I just checked I have 87 playlists ???? 🤠🤠 When. How. Who are all these people I literally don’t know any of them?????

Sharpies or highlighters? Sharpies!!!! I love markers in general but sharpies always fire up my creative neurons

song that makes you cry: I’ve never cried to music but Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens makes me so. :(

song that makes you happy: not to be a stereotype but Bastans by Miami band. (It’s a staple wedding song lmao)

and finally: do you draw/write/create?: YES!! My artistic skills are. Fine. But I do write a lot! My ao3 is lavender_petal and I’ve been learning how to create gifs over on my hockey side acc @gaybroons Also! I started making little braided bracelets lately :) they’re not perfect but they are fun!! I do try my hand at some Arabic/English translations from time to time but I’m not the best at it lol

I’m tagging: @loulucifer , @lindholmline , @earth-to-sway , and anyone else who wants to do this, but no pressure <3

[spookykestrel]

Can you please talk more about them you got me interested 👀

(if you want to ofc)

Ofc yes let’s see how much I can say that’s interesting

So basically I’m aroace so sexy of me and it’s impossible to find stories that don’t involve romance right? All the animated shows and series (that I love) have some sort of crush or partner or relationship in a way, even if it’s just as simple as a characters’ parents or friend or smth. And that’s cute and lovely and I like romance but there’s more to a plot than that and it can be disheartening when romance is made out to be this big important part of life and yet it’s not a part of yours.

So that’s how my story got started. I basically split up parts of myself into different characters . The main two, Chely and Kara (whom I’ve shared art and stuff of ) are kind of opposites of each other. Chely is allosexual/aromantic, warm colors, tall, grew up on a farm (wow just like how I work on a farm), later got a job at a bakery next door to Kara’s retail job (wow both places I’ve worked). Kara is asexual/alloromantic, short, and cool colors. They live together and support each other on trips to the dentist and other crazy endeavors. They move to a little campground run byyyyyy

Martin who represents love for your community and is crazy passionate about his little campground/rv park but only shows it in a grumpy, gatekeepy old man way. Inspiration for him was drawn from mayor tortimer in animal crossing. The community acts as a temporary to permanent home to a bunch of silly people includinggggg

Red! Who demonstrates self love (along with X who shows it in a different way) through your actions and choices. Red moved away from home and their parent’s expectations to make a new life and just have fun with it!

Also in the community are Suds and her grandchild Esa who represent different types of love for those younger and older than you, the three sisters (whose names I’m a little uncertain of for reasons ) who represent .. love for your siblings, and Mani who shows love for your friends. There’s several more characters who have importance and yet to be developed but these are who I’ve thought out the most :) and they all vibe together in a lovely community as the world is ending. Woo.

Anyway I had no idea how much you wanted from me so uh this is everything. Tl;dr there’s a bunch of silly characters and Chely and Kara are epic and sexy bc they’re just like me .

[lestcat-de-lioncourt]

Ppl forcing opinions, yes, opinions not facts, that animals that have evolved into creatures that have the potential to kill with an anatomy made for it and are carnivorous inside only, and as apparently the only way because they prefer it, then refusing to allow for anyone else to offer cats free will if they ask except only if they receive total imprisonment on a leash (it’s not imprisonment if they enjoy it, opt for it, or have always been that way and it’s safe, I’m all for indoor animal keeping, many cats prefer the indoors) whether they like it or not and claiming that’s the only way or ur horrific, is so strange and harmful. If ur cat that’s only house trained is shunted outside without even training them to be, yes that’s cruel, if they want to go outside and u bar them, yes that’s cruel. If they’ve never known the outdoors, hey yes they probably will die tbh. If u hate cats for killing small animals, yes that’s cruel, don’t get one, it happens. If all ur opinions of cats are “they’re nasty evil and shiddy but I like the hugs tho��� wtf? They’re just only serving you then? Your whim? And not their own emotions, they’re not allowed. Declawing and damaging them? Cool story bro, delete me, also altering someone else’s pets body anatomy and scaring them for life and inducing anxiety I had never seen in her before after, animal abuse kthanks. Fkin don’t own a pet from the cat kingdom. I’m seeing ppl genuinely saying it’s abusive to allow for your cat to step evn outside because they have only a warped opinion of owning cats so expensive they’re scared their investment runs away, or bean bag emotion toy, whatever. Step outside without a leash?? Wtf??? Sorry but people taking cats leashes and crying down a high street dragging them around for lewks is abuse! If you’re gonna leash, listen to your cats needs as well and fears, if banning all cats from going outside freely “bc it’ll affect them” is the argument. So many ppl literally do not listen to what their cat wants at all or treats them with respect and basic rights to be what they are and free will if they need it. Also if ur gonna claim cats are evil and succ nature dry um look at the human race which is killing the planet and still does, pretty sure a cat isn’t gonna out win the level of destruction we appear to be doing to everything in sight. We didn’t even evolve to need as much copious amounts of meat that is dragged lorry by lorry and wasted with animals killed pointlessly and also farmed and over farmed needlessly, yet a cat hunting a couple of birds/mice/animals that could poison us, is despicable when u eat a slab of meat for breakfast lunch and dinner. Or if ur not a meat eater, peep the humans still killing a whole ass planet. Literally I swear ppl are just worried about vet bills these days. So many ppl I wanna scream at “don’t own a cat” yet they’re pointing the finger at treating a cat with options, dare I say it. Fml stay inside the rest of ur life then if the world is so dangerous then too I guess. Comparing them to dogs as well who have been fully domesticated to the point where they now usually just die and cannot look after themselves at all if they escape when they once could’ve survived, do not even. Do not. Literally, own a bunny pls. Or a hamster. Animals get severe depression at times in cages and not cared for properly or given proper attention. If you do, then it works, but so many ppl are apathetic to animals feelings often because they think they’re totally stupid and can’t feel anything bc they can’t speak human or something, same with how people treat mute disabled people and younger children as if they’re just “dumb” because they can’t say the words yet and absolutely do know what you’re saying. My cat knows I’m talking about him and comes to see what I’m saying when I don’t even use his name or anything liek??

But anyway ya this literally reminds me of those old rich ppl who go liek “I wanna own a tiger” then get eaten or somethn, like ur the only one who wanna go bdsm leash daddy so bad on a cat um.

Cats aren’t easy no, but you clearly can’t cope with them at all if you aren’t prepared at all for anything but them sitting on a windowsill, and hate everything about them except easy cuddles. Yes it’s dangerous outside but, sorry (why should I be sorry about feeling this) but it’s unfair to want to selfishly take all freedom away from an entire species whether they want and indoor lifestyle or not for whatever reason that urge is burning in you for. And if it’s cos of the vet bill, just, don’t get a pet tbh.

Likewise you must care for your pet and make sure they’re healthy and don’t die where you can, but you can’t let that fear stop you from giving them choices, because yes it’s imprisonment and abuse if they hate it and it’s negatively affecting them. 😪

“Imagine leaving your cat to roam outside all night when they could be indoors in the warm on their own mini couch” yes I hate when people shunt their cat out for the whole night with no interest in if they even want to stay outside. Get a cat flap! Or god forbid, open a window a handful of times to let them in and out when they want. My dood spends like 70% of his times indoors cuddled up or snoozing tbh from choice, and then requests to leave every so often to sit in the garden, and occasionally run around the field! And y’all bet it’s impossible to keep him in he will scream blue murder if I don’t, so clearly that’s what he wants and it’s his choiceeee omg his choiceeee. He will throw things on the floor if I don’t as well like? But yeah I’m mean and cruel for letting him out lmao when he’s desperately requesting it. Fml! Maybe just look after ur cat like ppl saying they gonna go out and die to death on everything they touch are bizarre, you gonna never let ur kid leave the house ever? Bc you’ve trained them up so they can’t survive outside so they can never leave and survive outside your house? That’s been known as abusive parenting for years. It’s why there’s been so much domestication of different species. We gonna keep every animal on earth in a cage completely bc it’s scary out there and watch the ecosystem die etc etc? Big infestations an bug plagues I love that idea bc no one be eating any of them hehe

[impossible-rat-babies]

.

[lovely-echoo]

Sleepy Bois Inc x FranBow!Reader

In-game AU

Part 2/? PT.1

Plantonic!SBI x Young!Reader

(10/11 years old)

Headcanons

Genderneutral reader (they/them) 💜

INFO; If you haven't played or seen game play of Fran Bow then you can skip this if you'd like. If you don't care then go ahead.

Summary; Basically if you've seen/played the game you should know how this goes, you take place of Fran. So you go/went through the same things she did and you still have Mr. Midnight. This takes place while Fran is still in the mental hospital and then got teleported near the SBI.

If I get any info wrong, I'm sorry! I rewatched Markiplier's game play so it shouldn't be way off.

P.s not everything is described the same.

(^ art by sunquids on twt)

CW/TW: mentions/includes of cussing, food/not eating properly, screaming, murder, death threats(?)

First Impressions

Philza

Was terrified honestly-

Thought you were dead at first

Mans was just walking around with his son when he heard a thud

Was 1000% not expecting a kid and a cat

Even worse when he tried to get closer the cat got defensive and swatted it’s claws at him

And when you woke up-

Oh boy-

You barely acknowledged him and picked up the cat

Which btw, the damn cat changed so quickly- it perked up and was all happy and shit

The sudden anger to happiness gave him whiplash the poor guy

Then when you started crying which that scared him to

But either way he wanted to help you

Blame the father instincts ig-

He saw the way you looked thinner and not in the way as in ‘I was born with a fast metabolism/naturally like that’ but in the way of ‘I haven’t gotten proper food in a while’

(Btw if you are a plus-sized reader, the same goes for you. I don’t want to specify anything, especially body types. But he could tell you haven’t eaten actual food :) bc we all know that asylum food is shit)

He also saw the way you lowkey gaped at his wings but shh-

^ Lowkey feels prideful about it but you didn't hear it from me-

He really tried to approach you as calmly as possible to not scare you

Can I also mention that when he saw how dull your eyes were he felt his heart shatter

He also physically winced when he heard you speak for the first time

Honestly got lost in thought with a bunch of concerns, worries and shit

Final Thoughts;

Thinks you're absolutely adorable

Wants to punt whoever left you here

Lowkey scared of your cat

Technoblade

At first did not care

Like at all

Also thought you were dead at first

Still didn’t care

But the more he examined you when you first met

There’s something about you that kinda…

Clicked?

Idk

But yeah

Was ticked off when you talked back but also impressed

Like he’s Technoblade, The Blood God.

Usually whenever he makes eye contact with people- especially kids

They cower, scream, panic and ect.

But you didn’t waver

But either way, he’s still very skeptical.

Will absolutely stay on guard with you around

Unless you don’t give him reason to

If the some of the voices are right

He will dropkick murder you

So just keep quiet about it for now, okay?

He actually kinda finds you interesting

He doesn’t know why, he just does

Maybe it’s your mannerisms but eh

Just watch yourself around him

He’s so stiff and stern around you to the point that you think you won’t wake up the next morning

Final Thoughts;

Still really iffy about you

Get's the most ill vibe from you

Wants the voices to stfu about how 'cute' you were

TommyInnit

Ima be completely honest with you-

He screamed.

Like as soon as he made eye contact with your bloodshot eyes

He just full on screamed

You don’t know what you did to scare the poor teen

But I guess you’ll never know

And ima be honest with you again

He doesn’t either.

Maybe it was the way your eyes bore into his when he first saw you

Lowkey thought you were half dead or a zombie or some shit

You just looked so…

Dead…?

You kinda looked like a doll to him

He’s not a fan of dolls

Will he apologize for screaming the first time ya’ll met?

Because that is lowkey rude to do-

Yes but actually no-

He feels bad but he’s got to much of a stick up his ass to apologize directly

But he’ll make it up to you one day

I hope-

But other than that

He’s happy to not be the youngest one around tho

Final Thoughts;

Still thinks you look like a creepy doll

Gets this vibe from you but can’t put his finger on it

Lowkey wants to take you out on an adventure and maybe introduce you to Tubbo

Wilbur;

He was actually in his room chilling

Practising his guitar for a new song he wrote

He was vibing

Then he heard a scream

Thought a cat or smt was being murdered

So he rushed downstairs expecting a dead animal or shit

Turns out it was just his younger brother

Was gonna scold him but he saw you and your cat

That btw, you were holding him in such a cute way and looked at him with these doe eyes

Mentally, emotionally and physically awed

Your farming his aw’s hold on a sec-

He’s in love omg-

Please he’s already thinking about doing sibling shit with you

He knows his dad will adopt you even if he said ‘They're staying here for a while before they go back home.'

Wil knows that’s a lie and you’ll be staying here for a lot longer

With your consent ofc

Either way finds you adorable, smol and just

You’re baby

To him, you’re baby

Final Thoughts;

You're baby

Wonders if you like music

But also gets a weird vibe from you

Bonus;

The Voices

Oh boy-

So many different opinions

Some want you dead

Some want to hug you

Some want your cat

Some hate your cat

It’s all a mess

But let’s focus on the positive ones-

A lot of them are still chanting ‘protecc tiny bean’

Some are talking about you, others the cat

‘protecc tiny beans’

Is now what they decided to chant

They love you bby dw

Even the harsher ones, they love you

They just don’t show it

For the ones who really want you dead and shit

They’ll warm up

At least I hope so

But they don’t get the chance to say more mean shit like wanting you dead

Because those voices are getting attacked by your fans

Yes, your fans

They’ve nominated themselves as your fans

Yes, they do fight for who’s the number one fan

Final Thoughts;

If Philza likes you then they do (for the most part-)

Protecc tiny beans?

Protecc tiny beans.

Feel free to submit suggestions for this series! Could just be headcanons, reactions to ___, or anything!

Taglist;

@killermich-blog | @cl0udy-grey | @roxy3457 @itsberrydreemurstuff | @shuriosansshitposts @frowningsmiles | @muchrooomm | @novelist2 | @xx-smiley-xx

Lmk if you want to be added!

[tossawary]

I need to know more about “SVSSS - Baby Brother Liu Qingge” bc I love tiny and very deadly baby LQG

I have a 3k-ish Shang Qinghua POV that was supposed to be the introduction to this fic concept! So... ah... baby Liu Qingge does not appear in this, but you can see the setup for how an 8yo-ish Liu Qingge was supposed to be introduced. My hope is that this will someday become a "Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu go on a mission with Baby Brother Liu Qingge" one shot.

-cut-

Shang Qinghua didn't really have the words to describe what it was like having Proud Immortal Demon Way's characters finally come into his second life.

He didn't have the words to describe a lot of his transmigration experience, honestly! His words had described a lot of this world already, haha, hadn't they? Sometimes a person just had to put up with it and keep going.

And then excuse himself later to go scream into a pillow! Many times!

At first, life was just him in a body that didn't fit and strange memories that slipped between his fingers like sand. His memories of a past life had settled eventually, the System finally came fully online, and his relationship with his second family was fully fucked forever. That was fine, though! That was fine! With some unsolicited prodding from his System, he left to go seek his fortune soon enough and he never had to talk to his character's birth parents or siblings again.

But Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had never said much of anything about Shang Qinghua’s family or home village, besides saying that the man had dreamed of more than his mediocre origins, so everything had been unfamiliar and original and real. Getting to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, which he had described in great detail, was a real headfuck. There were no words for the experience of recognizing things that he’d written in another life.

He saw the glistening rainbow bridge and the intimidating sect entrance and the majestic meeting hall on Qiong Ding, and he nearly screamed. He definitely squawked. His vision got really fuzzy for a minute there and he had to sit down on the ground before he fell over. What the fuck?! What the fuck?! He’d made a world! The System had really made a world out of his web-novel! He was really stuck in Proud Immortal Demon Way!

There were upsides and downsides to joining Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Downsides included: the hard training, the harder workload, the dangerous missions, the disrespect towards An Ding Peak, and being surrounded by arrogant and foolish teenagers looking to look down on someone. It was really something else to look some of them in the eye and think, "Bro, I don’t know your name, but you kind of owe your existence to me. Could you stop being such a fucking asshole about leaving your chores for me to do?! Respect your father!"

Upsides included: actually becoming a cultivator (pretty cool, even though the work of cultivation sucked more often than not), better living accommodations and food, and actually getting to see some of the cooler places, plants, monsters, and magic that were a part of his world. Sure, carting a monster corpse brought in by Bai Zhan Peak to Xi Jiao Peak for butchering was smelly and heavy and altogether miserable, but seeing an impossible animal was still kind of incredible. If this unwilling Shang Qinghua could stop being pushed around and stepped on long enough to appreciate the upsides, he’d really appreciate it!

It was interesting and infuriating to log the differences between what he’d imagined, what he’d written, and what the System had created. What sort of author described every single object in every single room? Who had time for that? Who wanted to read that? The System had filled in all the living details of An Ding Peak - the Leisure Houses, the training grounds, the storehouses, the warehouses, the kitchens, the lesson halls, the leisure gardens, the farming fields, the livestock fields, the stables, the cart lot, the water supply, the sewage systems, and so on - so that people could actually live here. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky as an author had done many things worthy of complaint and criticism, but wasting his readers’ time with sewage systems was not one of them!

The System had also filled in all the little details and decorations - the paintings on the walls of sect history, the detailing on the rooftops supposedly offering protections from dream demons, the chipped and faded paint of old storehouses that disciples would be tasked with replacing, the statues in the fields to scare off scavengers, the carvings on the doors meant to reduce resentful energy, the childish etchings of bored students the surface of the lesson hall desks, the old bench where the An Ding Peak Lord liked to sit and eat flatcakes - so that it really seemed like people had built this place and maintained it and added to it for generations.

Shang Qinghua had his quibbles here and there. Sometimes the System had made choices that he objected to! He would have done it differently if it had asked him, the author, to contribute. He really felt as though the System should have asked him to clarify the plot holes and the gaps in detail, instead of choosing precedence randomly or building off random implications taken way too literally.

Sometimes he found out that the System had built things out of throwaway lines that Shang Qinghua himself had completely forgotten about. It turned out that Ku Xing Peak made a lot of purification tools and containment vessels because Airplane had offhandedly mentioned that this was their specialty, and now Shang Qinghua had to cart around delicate ceramics to be sold to city merchants or other cultivation sects. He never would have dared to write that if he’d known that it would one day in another life be his job to do things like take inventory and chase down signatures for successful deliveries.

Places, items, and creatures were one thing, but logging the differences between the people he met and the characters he’d created was something else. At first it was okay, because he was surrounded by nameless An Ding Peak nobodies - his fellow disciples, their teachers, the hardworking managers and merchants, even the peak lord - none of them had ever mattered in Proud Immortal Demon Way. If Airplane had been the one to name any of them, he didn’t recognize the names or remember them.

Then he met Yue Qingyuan.

Wow, it was a worse headfuck than first arriving at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, when Shang Qinghua finally realized that this was the young version of one of his actual characters. It took him a minute. As a lowly outer disciple, Shang Qinghua hadn’t received “Qinghua” as a name yet (his name was Houhua, not that anyone ever used it) and the future Yue Qingyuan was still called Yue Qi.

Shang Qinghua was fourteen at the time. Yue Qingyuan must have been around the same age, so he didn’t strike the tall and handsome figure of the sect leader Airplane had described. The boy was broad, but actually a little short. He had freckles. He had acne.

But he also had a warm smile that seemed to go all the way to his eyes when he offered to give Shang Qinghua directions to the right office on Qiong Ding. He had a steady hand when he helped Shang Qinghua up, after the An Ding disciple had suddenly tripped over nothing upon being introduced. Yue Qingyuan - Yue Qi - walked him to the right office and did his best to make small talk, friendly and kind even though Shang Qinghua was having difficulty stringing more than a few words together in his shock.

Even then, it was obvious that the boy was developing the calm surety and the social charm that would make him a greatly admired sect leader someday! It was all Shang Qinghua could do not to blurt out: “Holy shit, you’re REAL?!” Which would be closely followed by: “Hey, is Shen Qingqiu really real too?!” And then maybe closely followed by: “FUCK!!!”

As the years went by, Shang Qinghua met more of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s characters, and it was weird every time. None of them were exactly like he was expecting. He kept expecting… well… he kept expecting them to look like the fanart, like flawless character models, more or less. Instead, he kept getting… people.

Wei Qingwei, head disciple of the sword-focused Wan Jian Peak, was also shorter than he was expecting, kind of stout, with a wide face and a wider smile. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had apparently had the man crack a few jokes upon his rare appearances in the web-novel, usually during tense situations, as he was reminded by the System upon thinking to himself: “Why is this guy LIKE THIS?!” So, because of just a few lines, the real Wei Qingwei had a relentless sense of humor and loved telling jokes.

Upon their first meeting, when Shang Qinghua was fifteen and had been sent over to help renovate some Wan Jian dormitories, fifteen-year-old Wei Qingwei had pretended to fumble a sword and, using a packet of dye and a sleight of hand, made it look like he’d accidentally cut off his own hand at the wrist. Of course Shang Qinghua had screamed and panicked! Anyone would panic! But Wei Qingwei had laughed at him and said, “Got you! Shang-Shidi, the sword wasn’t even unsheathed!” Asshole!

Qi Qingqi, the head disciple of Xian Shu Peak, was much taller than he was expecting. Apparently Airplane had once described a group of some of the peak lords by saying something like: “Each one of them was like a giant to young Luo Binghe.” That group had included Qi Qingqi. The System apparently had taken that to mean that Qi Qingqi was of a height with the likes of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. Shang Qinghua discovered this adaptational choice when he was almost sixteen, when this giraffe-like girl came to An Ding Peak to complain about an order someone along the pipeline had dropped completely, and he accidentally found himself (still waiting on a really good growth spurt) eye-level with Qi Qingqi’s chest.

Airplane had apparently once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that Qian Cao Peak Lord Mu Qingfang appeared a little older than his colleagues, by which he’d probably meant that the man was just tired or something, but this head disciple Mu Qingfang appeared to have ten years on all the other head disciples. Which was good! Shang Qinghua approved of their future head healer not being a teenager and having more training!

On the bad side of things, Airplane had also once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that the Zui Xian Peak Lord Zhang Qingyan liked his drink too much. This was the peak specializing in alcohol, so it had seemed to make sense! It was supposed to be funny, if anything! Well, at sixteen, Shang Qinghua found out that the System had focused too much on the “too much” part of that statement and now the head disciple of Zui Xian Peak was pretty clearly a budding alcoholic. (Sometimes a cultivator’s constitution and ability to “cure” themselves just… made a person drink more. A lot more.) Which was… not good.

At seventeen, Shang Qinghua met Mobei-Jun.

He didn’t know where to get started with Mobei-Jun.

Somehow he’d… forgotten that Mobei-Jun had been originally based on Airplane’s idea of “the perfect man” and not the super pretty, muscular but slim-waisted protagonist type? The real Mobei-Jun was… tall… and big… and thick. Mobei-Jun’s intimidating features were… more striking than pretty. The first time Shang Qinghua had come back to his Leisure House and found this spoiled brat of an ice demon napping shirtless on his bed, and gotten an eyeful of all that heavy muscle and chest hair, he’d nearly knocked himself out on the doorframe trying to turn away before he had a heart attack.

Mobei-Jun really was going to be the death of him, holy shit.

Especially because this ice demon really was a spoiled brat! Airplane had described this character as being arrogant and apathetic, so now Shang Qinghua had to deal with a Mobei-Jun who took long baths and then carelessly dripped water all over the floor and all over fresh sheets! Who ate all of Shang Qinghua’s cooking and ungratefully only demanded more food, sprawled over furniture not really fit for someone of his size, and then watched Shang Qinghua like a fat tiger! Ahhh, this demon really was lucky he was handsome!

Mobei-Jun was also kind of violent, and mean, which was… well, it sucked.

Back to the sect that Shang Qinghua was now actively betraying, however, as far as he could see, there was still one future peak lord missing.

It wasn’t Shen Qingqiu, who Shang Qinghua had thought would be the last one to show up. Shen Qingqiu had shown up and had been advancing through the ranks of Qing Jing Peak before Shang Qinghua had even met Mobei-Jun, which meant that Yue Qingyuan had finally stopped looking like someone had torn out his soul. (Shang Qinghua had been forced to grit his teeth every time that someone mentioned how privileged that Yue Qingyuan was to have been granted that year of secluded cultivation in the Lingxi Caves at such a young age.)

No, of all the peak lords, it was Liu Qingge who Shang Qinghua had yet to meet.

After meeting Mobei-Jun and becoming an inner disciple, the System had given Shang Qinghua three years to make it to head disciple, probably because the deadline for a new generation of peak lords to ascend was fast approaching. He was working hard to achieve that! Not only did he have to sabotage the current favorite, but he had to make sure all his own training, missions, work, and research were as close to flawless as he could get it! All while keeping an intruding ice demon happy! He wasn’t totally sure that he was going to make it at this rate, even though he’d been here for years.

So it was a little concerning that Liu Qingge hadn't shown up yet. There was so much left to do. A world-state that had yet to be established. Liu Qingge had work to do here!

Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu still had to develop a hatred for each other as disciples that would extend to everyone believing that Shen Qingqiu had murdered Liu Qingge as peak lords, after all. Granted, all Liu Qingge really had to do was beat everyone else on Bai Zhan Peak up to obtain the position, and it wasn’t exactly hard to get Shen Qingqiu to develop a lifelong grudge, but the guy was still cutting it pretty close.

It was possible that Liu Qingge was already on Bai Zhan Peak and making good progress, but that he was just so solitary and focused on searching out the next big battle that Shang Qinghua had just never had the opportunity to meet him. Shang Qinghua did his best to avoid Bai Zhan Peak most of the time, honestly! He was curious about where Liu Qingge was, about what the man looked like, but he didn’t let himself sweat at not seeing the future war god, when he already had so many things to sweat about. The System had taken care of bringing in everyone else, so Shang Qinghua was sure that Liu Qingge would follow sooner or later.

Shang Qinghua’s first sign that something was wrong was that, on the day that Liu Qingge finally announced his existence by beating up everyone on Bai Zhan Peak, everyone was saying things like, “I can’t believe some kid managed to topple all of Bai Zhan like that!”

He… may or may not have ignored this sign.

To be fair to this poor writer-turned-disciple, though, he’d been up all night finishing some paperwork catastrophe the An Ding Peak Lord had thrown at him to fix, as some kind of “test” of his logistics skills. Upon hearing the latest gossip, Shang Qinghua thought, “Oh, finally?” And then his overtired brain collapsed from the effort of thinking two words together in a sentence, and all he could manage from there was to feel the intense need to go to bed at a maximum, static-y volume. No words. No more thinky thoughts. Just the need for speedy sleep.

He stumbled through the rest of his day and then passed out for 18 hours straight. In hindsight, this would have been the time when the gossip was at its hottest. He missed all of it.

When he woke up, everyone was still dealing with the aftermath of what had happened on Bai Zhan Peak, but the conversation had shifted more towards replacing Qian Cao Peak’s depleted supplies and the repairs to Bai Zhan’s training grounds. Liu Qingge was the name on everyone’s lips, still, but everyone knew the basic information now. Now, everyone was just exclaiming over and over again how unbelievably young (and pretty) he was to have bested every other disciple on the sect battle-focused peak. This didn't seem too strange.

The System probably would have based the War God's appearance on his sister, Liu Mingyan, a strong contender for the most beautiful woman in all of Proud Immortal Demon Way. Liu Qingge apparently being a very pretty boy fell neatly into line with all the other character design surprises that Shang Qinghua had gotten smacked with so far.

If Airplane had known that he'd be transmigrating into his novel, maybe there would have been even more handsome men! And everyone would have lived happily ever after and nothing bad would have happened ever, probably, but also there might be more sexy guys too.

-

TBC

[pascalpanic]

hi i love ur writing so much!! can i request something with mutual pining, denial of feelings, idiots-to-lovers, hurt/comfort/angst , maybe some jealousy and fluff and smut if you want i just need something really angsty with javier peña, frankie m or din djarin?? tysmm!!!!!

The Bantha (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Being an animal lover does not work well with the plans the Tuskens and Mos Pelgo citizens have to kill the krayt dragon. A retelling of S2E1 of the Mandalorian: The Marshal.

W/C: 4.4K

Warnings: talk of animals being harmed/dying, lots of arguing and angst, Vanth kind of is gross bc I hate his character aha, we respect the Tuskens in this house and use proper terminology for them, language, tiniest mentions of alcohol

A/N: Not gonna lie, the idea for this fic came to me pretty quickly but it took me a long time to properly figure it out. Lots of drafting and editing so THANK YOU to my beta readers, you’re all the best ever!! Anon, I’m so sorry this took so long but I hope it’s worth it!

Of all the dilemmas you’d expected to face as you traveled the galaxy with a tiny, Force-sensitive, 50-year-old toddler and a Mandalorian with the emotional capacity of the earlier-mentioned child, the last one you’d ever predicted you’d face had to be the challenge of ridding a tiny desert town of a giant sand beast that eats their banthas.

“You are so fucking dense,” you groan as you and Din settle on a speeder bike, the little green child tucked in a wrap on your chest. “You’re a Mandalorian, a battle-worn bounty hunter with a kill streak probably in the thousands, and some random man asks for your help and not only do you fucking freely give it, you decide to help them kill the sand dragon terrorizing their town.” You groan to him, rubbing your temples.

Din nods and starts up the speeder bike. “You don’t need to summarize what we just lived through,” he grunts and you wrap an arm around him.

“I do, because I need to clarify that your dumb ass would do that. Sometimes I really do think you don’t have a brain under that beskar bucket,” you shake your head, trying to keep the anger that you’re feeling. If you’re not careful, it’ll turn to adoration and love.

You’ve been battling your feelings for Din for a while now, trying to force the giddiness bubbling in your chest deep down inside. The man is everything you look for in a partner: strong, committed, tall, protective. He’s good with the child, adorably cuddly and loving. He’s even funny sometimes, making dry-humored remarks around the ship.

“Excuse me for caring,” the man grumbles through the modulator. He’s strong and warm beneath your arms, the Tatooine heat making the beskar warm like your bunk in the morning when you don’t want to get up. Stop it, stop it you remind yourself. This is not the time to be enraptured by the Mandalorian man’s body.

That’s yet another trait you love about him- how caring he is. He’s a bounty hunter, a warrior by oath who never shows his face and probably knows millions of ways to kill someone with his bare hands. Yet he cares. He raises the child well; he even raised him alone before you came into the picture. He puts himself in harm’s way for innocent people on the daily, all because he simply thinks it’s right.

You take a sip from your water canteen and hand it to the baby on your chest so he can drink too. “No, I will not excuse you for caring when you’re doing stupid shit, Din,” you scowl and cap the canteen as two three-fingered green hands give it back to you. “You came here- we came here, our family did, to find Mandalorians. There are none.”

“This man will give me his beskar if we help,” Din hisses, revving the engine of the speeder, non-verbally telling Vanth to get moving. The man is dawdling along, a few meters away, as he packs his bike up.

“What do you need it for, huh?” You ask him, throwing your arms up in exasperation. “I’m not a Mandalorian. This little shit doesn’t need beskar. You have a full set of armor already.”

“Beskar belongs to me, to my people, by my Creed,” he says, articulating himself with his hands too. It’s a habit he’s picked up from you. “You wouldn’t ask a Tatooinian to deprive themselves of the moisture they farm.”

You put your face in your hands and groan. “No, you’re right, because they fucking need water to live. You do not need beskar to survive, Din!” You shout, getting off the speeder bike. “And please, forget I called us a family. We’re clearly just a bounty hunter and his… assistant, whatever the fuck I am, and some little kid we picked up for the ride.” You stalk off towards the building.

“Where are you going?” He asks as you turn.

Cobb is standing to the side somewhere, and you approach him. “You got another speeder? I don’t want to put up with him for the ride.”

The man chuckles and claps your shoulder. “Sure thing, pretty thing.” He wanders off and returns about a minute later with another speeder. Din watches the two of you in annoyance, visible from his rigid body language. “Hop on. You know how to drive?” You nod once and he heads to his own speeder. “I’ll lead. You two follow.”

-

The ride is uneventful at first. Cobb Vanth tells the two of you the story of how he came to be the town marshal, and Din nods his silent comprehension when the man in beskar looks over at him. Most of the stories are aimed at you, desperate to crack your stony anger. It doesn’t work. You stare straight ahead, daring to break your frown into a neutral expression when the little green baby coos excitedly at the wind in his ears.

There are valleys and caverns to navigate through, nimbly ducking and weaving on your speeder bike. The kid loves it, squealing happily when you fly over a bump or turn a sharp corner. It’s a joyride to him.

When Din and Vanth suddenly stop your ride, you panic, holding the child close against your chest. From your holster, you grab your weapon and stand next to the two men. The growling noises are revealed to be massiffs, huge dog-like lizards. You squeal in delight, immediately dropping to your knees and summoning the beast in Tusken.

“What in the hell is she doin’?” Vanth mutters to Din as the big animal comes bounding toward you.

“She’s always like this with animals. Thinks they’re all big puppies,” Din rolls his eyes but can’t help himself: he smiles beneath his helmet as the beast licks your face and you scratch its sides.

You’re such a wonderful person, Din sighs, even though he’s mad at you. You’ve always been amazing with other species, like massiffs and the little green child strapped to your chest. You’re so intelligent too: speaking seemingly endless languages.

“They are big puppies!” You coo and press a kiss to the forehead of one massiff. Another finds Din, who also bends down to give it scratches and attention. “Green bean, look!” You tell the child and put out his hand for the massiff to lick. “See? They’re our friends,” you tell him, admiring the way the little green child giggles at the scaly skin.

From around a corner, a Tusken appears, then several. You stand and lower your weapon, speaking to them first in their native language. “We mean no harm. You have beautiful massiffs,” you tell them then turn to Din and Vanth. “Drop the weapons.”

“Are you crazy?” Vanth shouts.

“We are here to put an end to the krayt dragon,” you explain to them in their language. “Your assistance and knowledge would certainly help us. You want it gone too, yes?”

They affirm you that it’s a yes, and you nod back at the men. You know Din understands. “They’re willing to help if you’ll stop being a douchebag.” Vanth starts to talk but you hold up a hand and cut him off. “I know, I know. We can strike a deal. Are you willing?”

Din’s heart is nearly exploding. In any other timeline, he’d be the one conducting negotiations, using his threat as a Mandalorian to run the show. But here you are, with your gentle nature, making deals and completing them through cooperation and kindness. It’s hard to speak in a soft tone when speaking Tusken, yet you can do it. All with a baby strapped to your chest. Maker, Din thinks, he might be in love with you.

Vanth sighs a few moments later. “Why the hell not?”

-

Din talks with the Tuskens for a while at the camp, planning and negotiating as night falls and the air starts to get cold. To entertain the child, you spend time with the banthas, brushing their fur and letting the baby get exposed to the animals.

The kid loves them. He coos happily as he strokes their thick fur, giggling as one of them gives him a kiss and covers him in slime. You wash him off and return, quietly talking with the Tuskens caring for the creatures.

You’ve taken a liking to them. They’re gentle and soft, like big lumbering puppies, really. They moo when you brush their fur just right, let their eyes slip shut when you scratch them between the eyes. You’ve always had a soft spot for animals, like Din said earlier.

Cobb likes you. That much is clear from the way he finds you when he’s not working with Din and the Tuskens, bringing you food and water as you and the child mind your business. He’s overly flirtatious, to the point of annoyance. He’s rude and crude about the Tuskens, calling them words you’d never use to describe a human.

Politely excusing yourself, you allow the child to run with some of the other Tuskens’ children and spot a silver-plated man sitting by the fire.

“Vanth is such a goddamn xenophobe,” you grumble as you sit down next to the fire with Din, the child off playing with some Tusken children. He’d ranted about the Tuskens as you rode with them, luckily in Basic so that the people couldn’t understand him.

“Thought you liked him,” Din says and cocks his head. “He certainly likes you.”

You roll your eyes and sip the canteen of water, looking at the crackling fire. “Those things are not mutually exclusive,” you chuckle, looking over at him. “What, are you jealous, tin can?” You tease and knock on his beskar pauldron.

“In your dreams, cyar’ika,” he teases. It’s clear to him that whatever tension had been between the two of you earlier has dissipated, enough for him to steal the water flask from your hand and pass it to the child as he toddles past.

“I was drinking that, you fucking bantha,” you laugh and smack him on an unarmored part of his arm. The Tatooinian desert gets cold at night, you find, and you pull into yourself a little more from the cold.

Din unclips his cape and drapes it over your shoulders, tucking it in beneath where your arms press against your ribs so that it wraps tight to your body. “Hm. You do have a heart under there,” you tease and sigh, naturally leaning against Din and resting your head on his shoulder pauldron.

“So it’s been said,” he nods and even dares to rest his head on top of yours. Through the bare spots in his beskar, he can feel the way your body radiates warmth into the chilly night. You spot a little green head toddling past again, much slower than the other children thanks to his tiny legs, and Din scoops him up.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur quietly, the roar of the Tuskens’ conversations creating a soft hum around you. “For what I said, when I yelled at you. You’re right. You really are just caring for them.”

He nods. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m more sorry for saying we aren’t a family. I mean, we are, right? Not that we’re like, a couple or anything,” you say hurriedly, your voice low as you stumble over your words. “But you and this little womp rat…” you muse as you scratch the baby’s little green head. “You are my family. That much is clear to me.”

Din nods once more. “I agree.”

You smile up at him. “What’s going on under that bucket, huh?”

He turns, looking off. “Just going over the plans for how we’re going to get that krayt dragon.”

“Ooh, share,” you ask, taking one of his hands and lacing through his glove-covered fingers. “I didn’t mean it when we said all of this for some banthas, you know. I’ve really fallen in love with them lately.”

Din is quiet for a moment. He doesn’t answer. “Din?”

He knows you’re going to hate him for this. Your big heart, your animal-loving, sweet talking kindness is not going be okay with this, but he has to tell you the truth. “We’re going to have to sacrifice some of the banthas for this mission to work.”

“What?” You exclaim, dropping his hand. “You can’t possibly do that.”

“We have to. We need to lure the dragon.”

“Do it some other way!” You frown, looking over at the big soft desert cows. “Seriously, please, Din.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shakes his head. “They’re not sentient.”

“But they can feel!” You exclaim again, standing. “Fuck this. Why don’t you sacrifice yourself to the krayt dragon and see how that feels?” You shout, storming off. You’re aware it’s childish, but you stomp to your tent and lie down. You close your eyes and hope Din doesn’t come to find you.

-

Of course you didn’t mean it. Of course you didn’t want Din to sacrifice himself to the krayt dragon. So why is he doing it? Why are you on your knees, screaming to the sky that he did exactly what you said?

You’d been avoiding him since that night, since you showed vulnerability and subsequently returned to anger towards the man. You’d wanted to apologize, but you couldn’t get over the sacrificing of the animals for the cause. You just couldn’t.

Din had flown straight into the sand dragon’s mouth, just seconds ago, and is now deep inside its bowels, you’re sure. You clutch the baby to your chest and wail, agonized and terrified. Vanth stands at your side, a hand resting on your shoulder as you wheeze and sob.

But this is Din. He must have a plan.  He has to have a plan; he’s a battle-worn warrior and you’ve never seen him lose a fight. You’d stormed off before you could hear the rest of his plans the other night- maybe this was part of it. But the way Vanth stares at the dragon in terror makes you think that maybe it isn’t. Maybe Din just really fucked it up. You set the little green kid in his cradle and stand, sniffling and clinging to the metal sphere as if it’s your last lifeline to Din.

Suddenly, there’s a burst of green goo and out flies a shining silver rocket: it’s Din. “Oh thank the fucking Maker,” you shout as he lands not far from your small group, the wailing and dying sand beast behind him.

He’s covered in slime, but you’ve never been so happy to see the man. You rush to him and throw your arms around him, not giving a single fuck as you jump on him. “Please, never fucking do that again,” you wheeze into his cape, getting yourself covered in slime.

The hug is not comfortable. Din is all beskar where you want to feel his strong body, but it’s all worth it when he wraps his arms around you too. You’re crying, he knows it, and he knows just why. “I didn’t do it because you said it. You know that, right?”

You let go of him, sniffling and wiping your eyes. “Yeah. I was just so scared- oh Maker, Din, I can’t fucking lose you,” you admit, freely crying now. “I love you, I really do, and I can’t-“

“How?”

You look at him in confusion.

“How do you love me?”

This damn man. He’s full of surprises, just getting literally eaten alive by a krayt dragon, and now he’s asking you for a full emotional confession. You’re still reeling from the shock, but the fact that he’s there is enough. You don’t care that Cobb is definitely listening over your shoulder. “Every way. All of them. Romantic, friendship, family. You feel like my home and I want to be with you.” No better time than now, you suppose, to admit this all.

Din walks a step closer. “Romantic. Huh.”

“I hate that fucking helmet,” you admit, trying to deflect the emotion between the two of you. “I can never see your face. Can’t know what you’re thinking, your tone, your-“

Din cuts you off. “We ride back to the village and clean up. Meet me in the home as the suns set.”

What that means, you have no clue, but you nod. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” you murmur, putting a hand on the cut-out cheek of his helmet.

-

The town rejoices when you come back, shouting and celebrating over the dragon’s death and the plentiful meat that came with the creature. You’d joined in the reverie, taking a shot of spotchka and chanting along to a Tatooinian call-and-response they’d started. It was wonderful, really, and you and the little green thing were the stars. They admired the little green thing, cooing over him. You were proud to stand there as his mother.

The party died as the suns set. Din was notably absent from the hubbub, preferring to be alone as usual. You and the kid talked with the villagers, but as the suns started to sink, you excused yourself and found your way to the spare home you and Din each had rooms in.

Vanth and the women had taken the baby when you told them you were going to talk with Din. Not that it was hard: they all loved the little beast, showered him with affection. It was practically a competition over who got to play with him most.

The building has a warm glow as you wander over to it, wrapping your arms around yourself. The night has become cold now that the two harsh suns have sunk below the horizon, and it’s a relief to open the door to the home and feel the warmth radiating from a fireplace inside.

You find Din staring out of a window on the back, watching the endless wind sweep across the sand dunes, a dark sky contrasting the golden ground. Just his silhouette is visible, black against the deep blue. “Hi,” you say quietly as you walk in, the worn floorboards creaking beneath your feet no matter how deliberately you step. “Glad to see you got cleaned up.”

The man tilts his head in an obvious eye roll, even through the helmet. The slime was disgusting, although Din’s adoptive son had seemed to enjoy the gooey texture, as little ones are prone to. “I almost died and you’re already back to the sarcasm.”

“It’s called a coping mechanism,” you laugh gently and place a hand on his shoulder. There’s no beskar there, just soft fabric warmed by his body. It makes you shiver; even in the safety of the Crest, Din never takes off the armor. You wonder why it’s gone. Maybe to clean it?

Din’s quiet for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your fingers splayed over his shoulder in such an affectionate gesture. “You know how much I trust you, don’t you?” He asks and the black visor turns toward you, admiring what’s visible of your face in the moonlight. Your eyes glimmer and he admires them, the color he’s always loved.

You nod and smile just a little, cheeks growing rounder with the movement. “Of course.” He’s trusted you with his son, the most important thing to him in the galaxy. There’s one clear gesture even now: the absence of the beskar from his form. Maker, he’s broad, shoulders just as wide as with the metal.

He nods and shuts the window’s shutters, allowing even less light in before turning to you. There’s just a soft glow in the room, outlining the shape of the helmet and his shoulders. You can’t see any detail, just the shape. He walks over towards the long comfortable seating in the middle of the room and you instinctively follow, standing in front of it and stopping when he stops, facing him. His hands find your shoulders and his fingertips brush down your arms until they find yours. “Take off my helmet.”

“What? No,” you exclaim, frowning even though he can’t see it.

“Can you see anything?” He asks, a hand gesturing, an even darker shadow through the already murky visibility.

“No.”

“My Creed says you cannot see my face. Not that I can’t remove the helmet.”

You gulp hard, your fingers lacing through his. They’re bare. You’ve never felt them before. Often you’ve wondered if they’re calloused and tough from his work, soft from being hidden beneath the soft leather for all those years, or somewhere in between. They do fall into that in between, but they’re warm and strong and large, even without the leather casing them.

“I can’t do that to you,” you shudder, squeezing his fingers. “It’s the very thing about you, that you can’t take it off,” you start to ramble. You want to, desperately, but there’s no turning back now. If you feel his face, if you’re even so lucky as to kiss him, you’ll never be able to get enough of it. You’ll be subjected to an eternity of longing, even more than you’re yearning now.

“I want you to,” he breathes, his beskar-covered forehead falling against yours. “Please, cyare.”

“Why don’t you hate me?” You ask, your voice straining. You need to keep stalling, need to keep pushing it off or you’re actually going to do it. “I’m so mean to you. All the time,” you point out to him. You do it to keep him away, but he’s persistent. He never seems to care. “All we do is argue.”

“I may not be able to use the Force like the kid,” he mumbles, bringing one hand up to cup your face. “But I can sense your feelings. You don’t hide them well.”

“Din,” you plead, biting your lip and closing your eyes to prevent the tears that are threatening to well in them. “You can’t do this.”

“I can, and I want to.”

“Why are you so fucking patient with me when I’m only ever a bitch to you?” You practically wail, half annoyed and half honored. “You’re such a good man, Din. You don’t deserve someone shitty like me. I’ve got no hunting skills, I’m too stubborn, I’m mean and-”

He stops you by lifting your hands, setting them on either side of his helmet. “You can’t see me, so it doesn’t break the Creed. I want you to do this, because I want you.” He’s eternally blunt, but in this moment you can’t tell if it’s breaking your heart or warming it. “I love you too. Please. Take it off.”

“This is your last fucking chance, Djarin,” you tell him with a wavering voice.

“Cyare.”

“Okay,” you nod and take a deep breath. Din unlatches the little bit at the bottom that keeps it sealed against his head, and there’s a soft rush of air. Your hands grip either side and you slowly lift it off. Din takes it once it’s gone and rests it on the plush seat.

Your hands are drawn to his face like you’re being pulled on a string, your skin prickling as you feel the stubble along his chin and jaw. Your fingers trace his face for a few moments, exploring the new terrain. His cheeks feel hot, and his lips make you shiver again with how soft they are. Swallowing hard, you dare to look at his silhouette, noticing his hair is mostly matted down from the helmet. “What color are your eyes, Din?”

“Brown.”

You smile at that, and you rest your head against his shoulder, your hands dropping to your sides. His arms encircle you and it feels perfect, like you were meant to be like this for all of eternity and it took you long enough. “Of course they are.”

He chuckles at that and presses a kiss into your head, his hands finding your waist. “I did take this off for a reason.”

You lift your head, looking at his just-visible shape. “Really? I don’t know what you mean,” you flirt.

He’s silent. You’re sure he’s rolling his eyes, absolutely certain. “May I kiss you?”

The words are ever blunt, just like Din. “Yes, you bantha,” you tease, but the laughter is gone as his hands find your face again.

Just like that, his lips are on yours, radiating heat and love and it immediately tops the feeling of his arms around you. You gasp, not expecting him to do it so quickly, but your lips quickly meld to his and you sigh in content.

You stay like that for a while, hands traveling each other’s heads and necks and shoulders and sides as you kiss. He’s so warm and strong, his muscles just as sculpted as the indestructible metal that covers him. He’s so human.

After a bit, Din breaks away and presses his forehead to yours once more. He doesn’t speak, just rests there, his hands on your waist. His breath mingles with yours. For once, you’re speechless, unsure of what you can say back. The sarcasm has been stripped from your body like the beskar from Din’s.

“I better put the helmet back on,” he murmurs.

“Please don’t,” you whisper, tucking your face into the curve of his neck. You sit on the couch and he follows, desperate not to lose your touch. “Just… we’ll stay like this.”

He nods. He can’t say no when you kiss his neck feather-lightly, when your skin is pressed to his like this. He hasn’t had contact like this in years. He’ll prolong it as long as he can.

You do stay like that, relaxed and curled into each other. His arm wraps around you and you curl into a ball, nestled into his side. It’s been a long day for Din, you know, but the depth of it occurs to you as his breathing slows and his muscles relax.

He’s fallen asleep in your arms. You press a soft kiss to his neck and set a timer on the wrist-comm you’re wearing, so that you’ll both wake while it’s still dark in the room. For now, he deserves his rest. His face nuzzles into your hair, and he gives a soft sigh in his sleep. Yes, this is exactly what the beskar warrior needed: rest and you.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain @tacticalsparkles

[ibis-gt]

i made a fairytale au for cam and luther and then wrote nearly 5k words of fic for it?? which is wild bc i am not much of a writer. but. that’s under the cut. content warning for a pretty violent scene towards the end but there’s a happy ending i prommy

Once upon a time, there lived a prince. This prince, Luther by name, lived in a kingdom that was plagued by monsters. His father, the king, had gained his throne by feats of heroism, most notably by slaying a fearsome dragon that had ruled the land for years. The time came for Luther to prove he was worthy of the title of prince by slaying a monster of his own… 

Down in the countryside, farmers have been complaining for weeks of an ogre stealing their cattle and frightening their children. So Luther sets off in a splendid suit of armor, with a sword sheathed on one hip, a quiver of arrows on the other, and his bow slung on his back.

Luther rides his horse down to the village where the ogre was last spotted. He talks with the locals and gets a description of the creature. At least forty feet tall, they say, with greenish-grey skin and dark hair and teeth the length of a man’s forearm. Luther leaves his horse behind with the farmers because he doesn’t want her getting hurt and marches off, following a set of giant footprints left behind by the ogre, sword in hand. He would have to admit that he isn’t the best at sword fighting, and that really he’s never faced a monster on his own. But his father gave him a crucial tip: every monster has a weak point. Find the weak point, exploit it, and you’ll win every time. 

The footprints lead through the plains of grass, past the area where the farmers let their cattle out to graze, and into a dark forest. The sun is going down before he manages to find the ogre, so he sets up a little camp with a little fire and rests his tired bones. His armor isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but it takes forever to get on and off even with someone helping him, let alone by himself. He sits with his back to a big boulder so nothing can sneak up behind him and eventually drifts off.

Luther awakens the next morning and groans at how stiff and sore he is. He sits up and pauses, brow furrowed, remembering that he’d gone to bed sitting upright. But just now, he’d been lying on his back. And he’s not the best tracker, but those giant footprints look… disconcertingly fresh. These things add up in his mind. He just about passes out. He crouches down and puts his head between his knees for a moment until he can breathe again and his heart stops pounding quite so hard. He was right next to it! He fell asleep leaning on it! If his father heard about this he’d give him such a beating. How could he not have noticed that the boulder was actually - 

His stomach rumbles, interrupting his panicked thoughts, and Luther remembers that the last time he ate was back in that farming village around two in the afternoon yesterday. He digs out a bit of beef jerky and morosely works at it. His father swears by the stuff, but it just makes his teeth hurt. Luther dreams of the kitchens back home and drools a little.

He gives up on the jerky and manages to take down a couple squirrels with his bow and arrows. He gets his fire blazing again and sets them cooking over it, and sits down to draw in the dirt and form a battle plan. He gets wrapped up in his drawing and loses track of time, but is startled violently back to reality as a deep booming voice from behind him says, “Your squirrel’s burning.”

Luther’s eyes snap up to the fire. He hastily pulls the stick with his squirrels off of it, waving it in the air to put out the bit of squirrel that had caught fire. He blows on it and inspects the damage. Not too bad, a little charred. Still definitely edible. Then realization dawns, and he slowly looks up and over his shoulder.

That’s the ogre. He’s unmistakable. Huge, greyish-green, with shaggy black hair and big tusks that jut out of his mouth. He’s down on one knee looming over Luther, modesty barely preserved by a loincloth stitched together out of the pelts of many different furry animals. Luther wills himself to not faint for the second time that day. 

“You gonna eat that?” The ogre booms. “’Cause I will if you won’t.”

“W-well, yes, I was planning to,” Luther quavers, “But there are two, so, um, you can have one if you want? We can share?”

He takes the non-burned squirrel off the stick and holds it up. His hand only shakes a little. The ogre takes it carefully between thumb and forefinger and tosses it in his mouth. With such a tiny morsel, he’d usually just swallow it whole, but an interesting flavor makes him stop and savor it for a moment. 

“What’d you do to it? Not like any squirrel I’ve eaten. And I’ve eaten a whole army of squirrels.” He slaps a hand on his formidable belly. The sound makes Luther jump. 

“I- I didn’t do much, j-just some seasoning, I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to, please don’t eat me next." 

"You?” The ogre laughs. “Why would I eat you? You shared your food with me. That’s mighty polite. I’d say that makes us friends now, and I don’t eat friends.” He grunts as he shifts position, sitting down heavily and stretching out his legs. “Bad knees,” he grumbles. “Sat like that too long, but I wanted to see what you were drawing." 

Luther is now horrifically aware that he is directly between the ogre’s legs. He is also horrifically aware that he was drawing himself hitting an ogre with a sword. He hurriedly kicks some dirt over it. 

"Nothing. Nothing interesting. I’m a bad artist anyway.”

“Sure. What’s your name, little tin man? You didn’t seem too talkative when you snuggled up to me last night, but I thought maybe you were just tired. I’m Cam." 

"L-Luther.” Oh god. He was supposed to kill this thing, it - well, no, not ‘it’, he can’t think of Cam as an ‘it’ now he knows his name - he’s terrorizing folks, stealing their livelihoods, he’s supposed to drive him away, save the day, bring peace to the kingdom. Instead he’s sharing his meager breakfast and making friends with the monster. How did it all go so wrong!!

“So, Luther, you made of metal? I thought you were gonna take all that off, looks pretty uncomfortable, but you wore it all night. Unless it’s like… you?" 

"No, no, um, it’s just… it takes a long time to put it on and take it off? And I usually need help.”

 "Well shoot, friend, why didn’t you say so?“ Before Luther can object, a giant hand descends and plucks him up. He panics, struggles in Cam’s grasp, and Cam tsks at him. "I can’t get all that off you if you don’t hold still. Don’t make me squeeze." 

Luther goes still. If Cam squeezes the armor, it’ll stay squeezed. He wouldn’t want to still be in it if that happens. Cam clearly has no idea how to get someone out of armor though. He just pulls at clasps and buckles till they break, then shucks the metal off of Luther like an ear of corn. His helmet comes off first, freeing his dark brown curls.

“Aww,” Cam says, “lookit you. You’re kinda cute for a tin man.” He musses up Luther’s hair with a fingertip. "You’re like a little crab,” Cam chuckles. “Crack open the hard shell to get to the soft stuff underneath.” The food metaphor does not put Luther any more at ease as the rest of his armor is pulled off and tossed aside, piece by piece. Cam even strips the chainmail off of him and dumps it on the ground. This leaves Luther in his shirt and breeches, shaking like a leaf and terrified for his life. 

“Oh, you cold? Here, I gotcha.” Cam sandwiches him between his hands. Luther awaits the pressure and the horrible crunch that will no doubt be the end of his short life, but it never comes. Cam just holds him there, and truth be told his hands are very warm, and it had been a chilly morning. Luther relaxes very slightly.

After a few minutes, Cam lifts one hand a little and peeks at Luther. “Better?" 

"Much better, thank you. Even a little too warm, actually? Can I, um, come out now?" 

Cam laughs and opens his hands like a book, then tilts them so Luther tumbles into the palm of his left hand. "So what’s a fancy little shrimp like you doing all the way out here, with that tough shell and those sharp weapons? You huntin’ something?" 

Luther hesitates. It’s not… technically a lie, just an omission of truth, right? "Yeees…. Hunting.”

Cam laughs out loud, leaning back and slapping his knee with his free hand. “HA! You are just about the worst liar I ever met, Luther. Whew.” He actually wipes a tear from his eye. Luther feels his face heating up with anger and embarrassment.

“I am hunting! I’m hunting you!” As soon as he says it he regrets it. He slaps his hands over his mouth and cowers back as Cam sits up straight again and looks down at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“That so? Huh. Well, you found me, oh mighty hunter. And you fed me, and let me take your armor off you, and left all your sharp things on the ground while you sit in the palm of my hand. So, uh… how’s that goin’ for ya?”

“It… I… um… please don’t kill me?”

Cam grins. It’s not a nice grin anymore. It shows off too many teeth. “Lotsa folks have hunted me, you know. Not a one has succeeded. Most of ‘em can’t find me in the first place, not unless I want them to. Neat little trick we ogres have. We blend in well. The ones who did find me, they regretted it pretty quick. When I heard you clanking along with your silly armor and your little sword, I thought oh boy, here comes another one. But it turns out this one couldn’t find his own ass with both hands and a map, so he ain’t one of them legendary monster hunters lookin’ to claim some bounty. And he’s a little scrawny slip of a thing, too, and he keeps stopping to look at birds. I kinda liked you. And honestly, when you found me, it took me by surprise. Thought I had you pegged all wrong. Then you made your little fire, curled up next to me, and went to sleep, and it took everything I had not to bust my gut laughing right then and there. And now… well, I don’t rightly know what to make of you. Cute little thing, I know that. But cute won’t save you if you wanna tussle with me. So, little hunter… what’re you gonna do now?”

Luther’s nearly in tears. He manages to say, “Then… were you just… toying with me? This whole time? Waiting to see what I’d do?" 

Cam shrugs. "Pretty much.” That does it. The waterworks are in full swing. Luther’s chin trembles, his lower lip wobbles, and then tears are streaming down his face and he’s sobbing. 

“Y- you’re s-so-ho meeeaaaan,” Luther wails. “Y-you’re j-just making f-fun of me, I thought w-we were friends!” 

Cam has absolutely no idea how to respond to this. For some reason he actually feels guilty. “Aw - no - now look, there’s no call for - just… just stop crying, okay? Please?” Luther continues to sob, heedless of Cam’s pleading. “There, there,” Cam tries, patting Luther’s head. “I’m not going to kill you. Okay? How’s that? I’m sorry I called you - well. All those things. I’m sure you’re a great hunter. Look, you got those squirrels. And hey! That one I ate tasted great. You got some real skill there." 

Luther wipes his eyes and looks up, teetering dangerously on the edge of another sobbing fit. His eyes are all watery and a little red-rimmed. "R-really?" 

"Yes! Of course!” Cam clings to the compliment like a life preserver. “I bet you’re like, like the king’s cook or something, right? Cause you’re the best in the land?" 

Luther’s face crumples a little and he looks down, mutters something. 

"What?” Cam holds him up a little closer to his ear. 

“’m his son,” Luther mumbles again. 

“His son? You’re a prince? And you’re all - oh, hell.” Now he’s really put his foot in it. Luther bursts into tears again and curls up in a little ball.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I - oh, ugh, you’re getting my hand all wet.” Cam picks him up between thumb and forefinger and shakes the little tear droplets off his palm. “Now look here,” he says, attempting a sterner approach. “You’re a prince, all right? You can’t be crying and going to pieces just ‘cause some big bad monster was mean to you. You gotta kill big bad monsters, right? So here’s what you’re gonna do.” Cam sets him down gently, picks up his sword and hands it to him. “There you go. You’re gonna take that sword, right, and you’re gonna really let me have it. That’ll make you feel better, won’t it?“ 

Luther purses his lips and looks up at him. "But… all I can hit from here is your foot. That’s no good. I need a shot at something vital." 

"Oh fine, fine, Mr. Picky,” Cam grumbles. He shuffles his legs to the side and leans down til he’s practically laying on his belly. “Face shot. Free one for ya. Go on, hit something good.” Luther considers. Just as Cam realizes how ridiculous this whole thing is, he draws his sword back and plunges it into Cam’s eye.

- Almost plunges it into Cam’s eye. The ogre moves suddenly, turning his head to the side to avoid the blow. Luther makes a deep gash in Cam’s cheek, and Cam roars. “Oh, you sly little shit. Very good, very sneaky. You almost had me there. Fine. We do this the hard way.”

He gets to his feet, draws himself up to his full, impressive height, and looks down at the dirt where Luther was a moment ago. Cam blinks in surprise. “Where’d you… goddammit…” He looks around, trying to catch a glimpse of where Luther could’ve gotten to. 

Luther was not about to let the golden opportunity to run and hide during a big dramatic show of power go to waste. He slides into a patch of underbrush, catches his breath, and takes stock. He has no armor, no food, no bow or arrows. Those are all back at his camp, which is currently ogre territory. He has one sword that he’s okay at using. The ogre has the homefield advantage, and some kind of ability, possibly magical, to hide himself from those who want to find him. Luther shouldn’t let him out of his sight. But he should work on camouflaging himself. He takes a handful of dirt and smears it on his face and shirt. The sword he can’t do much about, he’ll just have to try and keep it from glinting. He glances to his left, away from where Cam still stands, turning in circles and peering around. Luther had only gone a little ways into the woods before he stopped for camp last night. He can almost see the forest’s edge from here. He could dart for the grasslands and try to make it back to the village, but he’d be in plain sight as soon as he’s out of the trees and there’s no guarantee Cam won’t just follow him all the way back. The further he goes into the trees the more firmly he is in Cam’s territory, but the more coverage he has. 

Possibilities begin swirling around in his head. His best bet is trickery rather than a face to face confrontation. He’s got a running list in his mind of Cam’s weak points now. Food, monologuing, emotional outbursts. Although that last one’s probably off the table now. Bursting into tears isn’t going to get him out of a second pinch. Bad knees - if he can trip Cam up, he can get a shot at his face again, maybe cut his throat or get at his soft belly and sides. Cam’s a talker and likes to gloat, maybe if he gets him distracted by looking pathetic he could get him to walk right into a trap of some kind. He likes food… but Luther doesn’t have the resources to make a big feast to distract him or sate him, just a pouchful of seasoning that he never leaves home without. His lip wobbles again as he thinks about how that’s back at his camp… he may never see his precious seasonings again.

Meanwhile, Cam is getting frustrated. “Well, the little shit can’t have gone far,” he grumbles. “Just gotta flush 'im out.” Luther watches, petrified, as Cam lumbers over to a nearby patch of underbrush and without warning stomps down on it hard, twisting his foot and smashing every inch of it. He steps back and leans down to inspect what’s left. Luther bites his lip hard to stifle a whimper. 

“Nope, not there,” Cam announces. “Eeney, meeney, miney…..” Another bunch of bushes are mercilessly ground into the dirt. “Moe. Hmmm. Where are you?”

Luther can’t stay in his hiding place for long. It’s only a matter of time before Cam gets to him. He needs an opening to make a break for it though, if he runs now Cam will spot him right away. As slowly as he dares, he picks up a large, flat rock, then skims it like a frisbee off to his right, where it hits a tree with a satisfying thock. Cam whirls around, and Luther bolts out of the brush. Cam hears the leaves rustling and turns back around, catching sight of him as he flees. 

“There you are! Hold on now, don’t go running off! I just wanna talk, I swear. The whole monster-slaying prince thing not working out for ya? I got a better job offer! You can be my dinner!” Luther keeps sprinting as fast as he can, not even bothering to glance behind him. The last thing he needs is to miss a fallen branch or a groundhog hole and trip.

On flat, open land, the ogre would outpace him easily. But if he can get deeper into the forest where the trees are closer together, that could slow him down enough for Luther to get some distance and hide again, have a moment to breathe and think so he can work on his plan. He’s starting to get an idea of what he’ll need. He needs the element of surprise for sure, and he needs more than just his sword. If he had some rope he could set up a tripwire, maybe. He curses himself for not taking his father’s advice about packing, for letting Cam strip him, for being too weak and scared to do anything when he had the chance, for being born in the first place. His eyes well up with tears and he scrubs at them furiously. He can’t afford to have his sight blurred right now, he needs to keep his head clear and keep moving. He can hear Cam’s thudding footsteps behind him, gaining quickly. He can cover so much more ground in a single step. It’s simply not fair. The little bit of distance he was able to gain with his rock trick is disappearing fast and it won’t be long before he’s in arm’s reach.

Almost as if he can read his thoughts, Cam lunges forward and takes a swipe at him, trying to knock him off his feet. Luther hits the deck and Cam overbalances, stumbling and crashing into a tree. The tree snaps when his weight collides with it, and Cam has to windmill his arms to keep from falling over. Luther scrambles to his feet and keeps running. He even manages to put on an extra burst of speed when he hears Cam roar with frustration behind him. He’s not as fast as he could be because he’s lugging the sword along with him, but he doesn’t dare drop it. It proves its usefulness in the next minute. Cam closes the distance and grabs for him. Luther sees the shadow fall over him and whirls around, lashing out at the reaching hand. He slices across Cam’s palm, and Cam howls with pain and pulls back. Luther dashes away, and Cam stomps his foot in frustration. 

"Hold still, dammit! You’re just making it worse for yourself!” He takes off after Luther again, but his stamina’s flagging. It’s harder for a creature his size to haul himself around and he’s used to running down his prey in the first minutes of the chase. This has dragged on long enough to tire him out, but he’s not willing to give up just yet. “When I get my hands on you, tin man, you’re paste,” he growls. “They’re gonna have to come up with new words for how dead you’re gonna be.”

The trees start getting close enough together that Luther has to dodge around them from time to time. He can hear Cam behind him crashing through them, spluttering as he gets a face full of branches and leaves. Luther smiles to himself. That’s nice, at least. At last he gathers up his nerve and dodges to the side behind a particularly large tree, hoping that Cam’s too busy navigating the foliage to notice. His gamble pays off. A few seconds later, the ogre goes lumbering past him without so much as a sideways glance. Luther waits just a moment more, then bolts in the opposite direction.

He’s got a plan now. He probably won’t be able to find Cam again, but Cam can find him. So he’ll set up an ambush. He circles back around to his camp and grabs his supplies as quickly as he can, his bow and arrow, his helmet, his tinderbox, and most importantly, his seasoning. He hunts for deer, takes down a decent-sized buck, and sets up a new campfire, deep in the woods, where the trees are close. He’s hoping that Cam will think that Luther thinks he’s safe in there, and that the smell of the meat cooking will lure Cam in. He takes off his shirt and fills it with twigs and leaves, sets his helmet up on a stick driven into the ground, and makes a decently convincing decoy Luther that he leans against a log. The helmet tilts at an angle that makes it look like he’s fallen asleep. With that set up, and night closing in, Luther climbs up a nearby tree and waits, sword in hand.

He doesn’t watch the fire. He wants to keep his night vision sharp. And sure enough, before too long here comes Cam, moving surprisingly quietly for his size. He squeezes through the trees with barely a rustling of leaves. Cam’s eyes are fixed on the fire and the silhouette that the decoy makes against it. Cam gets right behind the decoy and slams his foot down on it. He grinds it into the dirt with a relish that makes Luther shudder. Then Cam looks at the deer cooking with that lovely smell rising off it, and his eyes go big and shiny. As Cam bends down to pick it up, Luther chooses his moment. He drops like a stone and buries his sword lengthwise in the back of Cam’s neck. The impact sends a jolt up his arms and he hangs on as tight as he can. Cam lets out a garbled scream of pain and collapses face first on the ground. Luther gets to his feet, pulls his sword out with some difficulty, takes a deep breath, and begins to chop.

It’s messy, horrible work. By the third swing tears are rolling down Luther’s cheeks. By the seventh, he’s sobbing. After the twenty-third cut, Cam’s head is finally severed, and rolls to the side. Luther stumbles back. He’s trembling, covered in blood, panting and crying, but it’s finally done. 

And then Cam’s head says, “Wow, kid. I didn’t think you had it in you.” Luther watches, dumbfounded, as Cam’s body sits up, searches around with its hands, locates his head, and puts it back on his shoulders as the flesh knits together again. Luther drops his sword in disbelief. He falls to his knees. That was it. That was all he had. He can’t even imagine what he could do against a foe who can just reattach his own head. 

“Oh,” he says quietly. “Okay. Um. Make it quick, please?” Cam had been planning to crunch the little shit once he was back on his feet, but he can’t help but feel a pang of guilt at how despondent Luther looks.

“Aw, no, no, don’t give up so quick! Really, you almost had me!” Cam scoops him up and pats him on the head. “Look, it was a good effort. I’m sure if you had known I can’t be killed, you wouldn’t have spent all that time and energy trying to kill me. Just do a little more research next time, yeah?" 

"Next time,” Luther repeats, and gives a hollow laugh. “There isn’t going to be a next time. I’m not welcome as part of the royal family if I can’t kill a monster. Even my sister’s done her first slaying already. A whole nest of vampires! And I can’t kill one measly ogre." 

"Hey, watch who you’re calling measly,” Cam warns, but his heart isn’t in it. “Jeez. You’ve got some issues, kid. Not much of a fighter, I take it?" 

Luther shakes his head and sighs. "I’m just not very good at it." 

"Well they chose one hell of a first mission for you, that’s for sure. Ogres are tricky ones. We’ve got a lot of defense mechanisms.” Cam thinks for a moment. “You know what you are good at, though? You’re a good talker. Very convincing. I mean, you really had me going, with the crying and all? It was a really good ruse." 

Luther bites his lip. "Um…" 

"Okay, so it was for real and not a ruse. But you made the best of a bad situation! That’s also a good skill for a ruler to have. You just gotta show your family that your skills are less conventional, but still effective! Like, okay, why do you have to kill me? What’d I do?" 

“You’re eating all the farmers’ cattle and scaring people." 

"I thought free range meant I had free reign. Eh? Eh?” Cam pokes Luther in the ribs. Luther frowns at him. “Oh, fine, whatever. No sense of humor. You know, that’s pretty important for a king too. Yeah, all right, I’ll leave the cows alone." 

"And the sheep,” Luther says sharply. “And the pigs, and chickens." 

"I haven’t eaten any pigs or chickens,” Cam protests. 

“Not yet. I’m being proactive." 

"There you go!” Cam says, beaming. “There’s that negotiator skill! But seriously, if I can’t eat the cows and sheep I’ve got to eat something. Can you make it worth my while? 'Cause I’m not going back to squirrels." 

"Well…” Luther says slowly. “What if… I hire you?" 

"You… hire me?" 

"Yeah. Like, as a bodyguard or something. Then I’d have to pay you, right? I could pay you in food?” 

Cam is quiet for a moment. He brings Luther up closer to his face and scrutinizes him. Luther’s heart is pounding out of his chest. For a moment he thinks he’s made some horrible mistake and offended Cam and it’s all over for him. "You’re serious? Not kidding me, here? That’s your offer?”

“Y-yes? Is that… is it bad?" 

"Bad? Bad? That’s the best offer I’ve ever heard! Pay me in food? HELL yes, kid! That’s what I like to hear!” The force of Cam’s enthusiasm knocks Luther over on his back. He stares at the sky for a moment. His life is so goddamn weird.

~~~~~~~~~

Luther’s father’s dragon slaying days are behind him. He’s an old man now. He has good days and bad days, but even on his best days he frequently needs help getting around. But when he sees that giant ogre enter his royal halls, he reaches for his spear. Luther eases it out of his hand. 

“No, see, it’s okay. I didn’t kill him, but I stopped him terrorizing the countryside, and I kind of… hired him. As my bodyguard. This was easier, and we both benefit, see? Also, um, were you going to tell me ogres are immortal?" 

"You were supposed to figure something out,” his father says. “Since you’re so damned smart." 

"Well, I did figure something out. Just… maybe not what you wanted me to." 

Cam waves lazily. "Hi, Yer Majesty." 

"Cam,” Luther hisses. “We talked about this." 

"Oh, fine, fine,” Cam grumbles, and takes a knee to bow low before the king. “I humbly pledge my service to your son,” he intones, hamming it up just a little. “Please allow me to protect him from all harms, and so on." 

The king glares. His stabbing hand is itching. But he doesn’t currently have a better plan, and this’ll keep the peasants quiet for a bit. "Fine,” he spits, “But you’re taking care of him. Feeding him, walking him, cleaning up after him, whatever. No getting the servants to do it for you. He’s your responsibility now." 

Cam grins at Luther. "So, speaking of feeding… when’s dinner?”

[the-fandomwriter]

thinking about a full and properly modded server with all the members of the dream smp, with like mo creatures, mr crayfish, bibliocraft, biomes o’ plenty, decocraft, CIT resource packs, THE DOG ONE THAT STACYPLAYS USED IN DOGCRAFT and the ones that add all different types of foods like pies and sandwiches and soups and all that fun stuff!!

and it’s a mostly “normal” server, in which there are no tyrranical governments or roleplay nearly as angsty as the dream smp. i’m basically thinking origins smp but softer, with more roleplay, and billions of mods that used to be popular back in the shadowcraft and dogcraft days. it would be more of a “found family of people that all left their previous homes for various reasons that they slowly get into detail with as they become closer to the others and they all develop a big family dynamic, but there’s occasional conflict since they can never get along for long periods of time.” 

i’m sorry just iMagine all the possibilities???

 tubbo would own ALL the animals like he’d just run a huge fucking zoo and live with all the animals hes tamed and he’d have like 80 dogs and all the bees on the server. not to mention his house would be absolutely DECKED with cute decor stuff. he’d have a huge portal hub for all the different dimensions that would be added to the game. he’d probably dabble in some witchcraft mods too with ranboo!!

wilbur would take mass advantage of bibliocraft and fulfil his dark academiac dreams by living in a nice tudor home in a plains biome with a gigantic library and a pond out back with fairy lights and some wheat fields. but underground he would have a gigantic lair where he grows sketchy plants he gets from tubbo that’re from other dimensions, and he makes  potions and also collects various crystals and rare ores to sell illegally to other people. 

niki and hannah would build a cottagecore village together with lots of eucalyptus and wisteria logs!! they’d do a lot of exploring to find all the cool biomes so they could collect all the flowers, crops, and trees possible. they would probably have a green house shop at spawn, as well as a cafe/bakery. despite their soft aesthetic, they would actually be two of the richest people on the server, and no one would fuck with them since they had some of the best modded armor and weapons from all of their travelling. 

puffy would really like oceancraft, and also spend a lot of time travelling. she often bunked with niki and hannah, and occasionally with bad and skeppy in their own area. she just hung around spawn mostly and had a simple ocean monument inspired house on the shore, so she could access the sea easily for her distant travels. she would also love getting into the weirder parts of the mods, like the shape shifter mods and would have a massive collection of all the inverntory pets. 

dream, george, and sapnap would band together and make a huge underground lair inside of a mountain that they put no effort into making pretty, but somehow doesn’t look like shit? sapnap would have a room dedicated to all the armor sets he set out to forge, and would have great pride in them. george would like indulging in the food aspects, like harvestcraft and mo’ foods. dream would try dabbling in the prank/security mods and have minor success, aside from the few holes he blew into the mountain and sets of armor he accidentally blew up which sapnap would never let him live down. he’d also probably do a lot of collecting and make various mob farms to get lots of cool loot to sell in spawn. 

tommy would also collect lots of cool stuff, except he wouldn’t actually go out and find the materials for armor, fight mobs, or explore caves, no he would steal it. he commissioned sam to build a gigantic, overly complex and fancy house insisting it has as much detail as possible (im talking chisel mod, carpenters blocks, decocraft, mr crayfish ALL OF IT) but he never actually stays in it bc he prefers the stupid dirt mound he lived in on the first night (mainly bc he doesn’t feel like moving all of his stuff from said dirt mound into his giant mega-mansion and sam refused to do it, no matter how much money tommy offered him). he’d also wreak havoc, yk, stealing and hiding pets, burning houses, destroying crops, setting elaborate traps that don’t work but are just annoying to clean up. despite being chaos incarnate, he’d probably have a big farm and make cool foods and have a bed and breakfast at spawn. 

fundy, sam, ranboo and tubbo would all really like diving into the red stone packs (obvi) like industrialcraft and all those prank/trap mods. they would start up a business to make elaborate redstone machines for people, and would have some of the coolest houses on the smp. they’d live in a huge treehouse colony in a jungle, and they’d have elevators and secret doors and a hidden vault underground. it would look amazing, and they would spend hours working on it, and it ends up being the prettiest build on the server.

ranboo, much like tubbo, wouldn’t live just in the jungle colony. he would also have his own base a couple hundred blocks from tubbo. it wouldn’t be super big or fancy, but he would decorate his house really nicely, and probably base some of the interiors off of other video games or something. he would collect lots of cats and dogs as to all keep him company in his house. he’d have some OP armor and tools, but be really humble about it? he’d like collecting the mob backpacks and have them all on display in his house in the woods. 

bad and skeppy would live in a mesa where they would have a massive modern base where they test airplanes and helicopters n cars n shit. bad would def try to collect a bunch of animals, especially dogs (they would all be named after members of the smp based off of the vibes they give him). skeppy would be one of the richest  bc he keeps all of his rare/expensive items in a hidden vault literally hundreds of thousands of blocks from his base. skeppy would definetly take advantage of the extra blocks and supplies for trolling. 

ant would obviously collect cats, like the ones that you can pick up and they like wrap around your neck? and they have those adorable cat beds and smack you when they’re hungry? yeah he’d have a whole fucking army of them and whenever they’re hungry he’d just unleash them on anyone nearby just to piss them off. he wouldn’t have actually wanted the cats at first, since he thought it was just ironic and lame, but after he tamed his first one he just liked the company. he would build a whole separate house for his cats so that they could stay away from the workspace in his house where he would look into dinosaurs with jurassicraft. 

connor would be a wandering vagabond who collects those cool mob backpacks and keeps all of his stuff inside of them and never settles down because he doesn’t have the money to commission someone to build a house and he’s just too fuckign lazy to build one himself lmaoo he’d end up rooming with tubbo for a while, just because he has multiple homes and has plenty of room spare.

schlatt would elect himself as leader (but not in a dream smp kinda way) he’d tax everyone and use the money to commission like forty vacation homes that he never lives in because he’s never active. he also likes to just fuck around and annoy people by breaking all the windows in their houses and stealing their doors, but no one can do anything about it bc he’s technically they’re leader and he probably somehow got access to creative mode. he definitely abuses his power, but not to a concerning extent. he’d just boost the price to buy land in the shopping district by ten diamonds every month and piss everyone off. 

(i might make a part two to this with the other members if y’all wanted to see more :))

[unholyplumpprincess]

Group Camp Out (Full Version)

A continuation and full fic for my drabble. Commissioned of me to basically finish it, so here we are with sex scene included! I’ve also taken the past drabble and added it here so it’s a full fic so ya don’t need to go back and read the other half, bc it’s all here babey!

Summary:  You save an alpha licker from an injury, you're not sure why your foolish empathetic brain does it, but now you have a pack of lickers who follow you like you're their royalty. It's all fun and games until you get horny!

Reblogs > Likes. Please Reblog if you hit Like :D

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked!!!

Fandom: Resident Evil

Relationship: Group of lickers/Reader

Warnings: NSFT/R18+, Reader is gender neutral but has a vulva, monster fucking involved obviously, double penetration happens so stuff like ass play is involved, and mentions of normal zombie apocalyptic stuff!

Words: 3.4k

_______________

When the world went to shit, you didn’t expect this to all be the cause of a harmless sounding virus named after a letter. It had all seemed fine, one day you were grocery shopping and whining to your friend about how you wanted chocolate, the next you were covering your mouth to stop your sobs as moans and groans entered the city like a stampede of brainwashed cattle.  

You had no training with a gun, the only weapon you really knew how to use was a pitchfork- and that was the lamest thing you had going for you at this point in time. Running a farm? That’s something you could do. Shooting a gun? That...was something you probably should have learned how to do.  

But how were you supposed to know a zombie apocalypse was going to happen?!  

Apparently, your farming skills and way with animals- or animal-like creatures, would come very in handy in your survival.  

~Rest under the cut~

It had started with one of the creatures. It looked like...an inside out human. Absolutely terrifying with its sharp teeth, sticky flesh and its brain matter completely exposed. Its long tongue maybe the length of its own body when you watched it zip around a nearby rabbit and drag it towards its terrifying  chompers . Its hands were no longer hands, five large claws dug into the ground with each step as it turned its head this way and that. It was blind. It couldn’t see you. So, you had stayed still, shaking before you caught sight of its limp.  

On its hind right leg, it was bleeding, it made such a sad sound as it jerked the dead weight forward, turning its head towards the pain. There was something...so sad and human about the reaction that your instincts told you to comfort, to reach out and inspect the pain.  

It could have gotten you killed the way you had reached out, but through desperate pleading and begging after being near leapt upon by the giant beast and made dinner, you were given a chance.  

And now? Now you had five of these inside out creatures following you around like you were the royalty of their pack.  

~Rest under the cut~

It certainly had taken you quite a bit to get used to it. How beastly they were, yet so very human. How deep the virus ran in them, you weren’t sure. They could not speak to you, they hissed, growled, huffed, and grunted, but otherwise your languages did not mesh. Names were not given, you didn’t try to ask either, it seemed like whatever of their past they had was erased.  

What you did know is that like this? You were safe. The one with the injury now had a permanent limp but with some gauze and bra hooks you made a makeshift sling and they could walk on it better. This one also brought you food, its tongue rolled up around canned foods that comically rolled out of their mouth with little bits of saliva and them cocking their head towards your direction waiting for your thanks.  

Another liked to stay near you at all times, pressed to your side near constantly and making small sounds in reply to your chatter. These days you talked a lot, quietly at least as you’d tell them where you were from, what you were before all this happened. You’d even been able to go back to your old farm, heart breaking at the destruction of the fences, but at least your home had been mostly intact. Bodies of the infected littered parts of the yard, but with your pack around you none of the alive ones dared come close.  

Your home became a home again. With five beasts that liked to climb on the walls and steal what you guessed smelled like you. You find one with a shirt over their head, crooning and rolling about in it. You find another nosing at your blankets with its mouth parted as if scenting it. Another finds your underwear drawer.  

Tonight, you’re quietly in your room. You’ve gathered blankets and other mattresses around the house to make a nest on the floor for everyone to gather onto. You’re sure they have no need to sleep, but you have a need for comfort.  

The one with a limp is curled at your side, their skin smooth as they rub their face at the crook of your neck. It would have grossed you out in the past, but now you don’t really think about it.  

Another lounges across your body at your thighs, perched with arms crossed underneath its body like a big cat protecting its pride.  

You’re mildly drifting, not really thinking when you feel the sharpness of teeth brush your throat and your entire body stiffens. Your yelp of mild terror sets off everyone in the room, everyone on high alert. You hear two different hisses, another making this almost chirrup sound, the one on your lap noses at your thigh in confusion and the one at your neck has frozen completely.  

“Did you just bite me?!” You breathe out, anxiety flaring up- did the virus pass in bites?! Was it just the smoke that caused the changes? If you got bitten what happens? You’re on high alert yourself, seeing the others come and inspect you as you push lightly at the one at your side so you can raise a hand to your neck and jerk it into your view to inspect your palm.  

No blood. And you didn’t feel a mark. It must have just been a scrape is all. As your anxiety dies down, so do all of theirs, everyone going back to their posts. You lie back again, shakily exhaling and gently reaching for the licker that had been at your neck. They croon immediately, almost like an apology as they go back to your neck.  

It takes five minutes for it to happen again, a light scrape, and you pass it off as an accidental thing. You stiffen ever so gently, but a large arm over your chest gives an almost gentle squeeze, as if telling you it’s alright. It’s just the smallest motion, the tiniest, but it eases you. Enough that when it happens again, you shudder this time and recline your neck to the opposite side to give them more room.  

Their hips adjust at the side of your waist and you hear curious noises around you. You don’t pay it really any mind until their hips adjust again and you feel something almost slimy brush your side. Another scrape of teeth, a low whine, a nudge-  

Your eyebrows knit together, flexing your fingers around their side and making a murmured ‘huh?’ back at them curiously. Another adjust- a hump? And you figure out rather quickly why and what is happening.    

“Oh!” You exclaim, your tone flustered, and that gathers everyone’s attention. The one on your lap peeks to see what’s happening, and you can hardly see them until you feel a nudge at your crotch that makes your cheeks flare red.  Another swarms your other side, nosing at your warmed cheek and cooing until another joins.  

You realize quickly you’re surrounded by horny lickers.  

And wouldn’t it be rude to not gladly accept it?  

--

You note that two of them do not come and join. They linger off to the side and seem to be enjoying the rest on the far side of the combined mattresses. You don’t mind in the slightest, not when you have three beasts curiously poking at different sides of you.

The one across your lap, the leader of the pack, has now nudged your legs open. Fitting between your spread thighs as huge claws hook into the fabric of your panties and yank. The sharpness of its claws are aimed upwards, avoiding your flesh and effectively shredding the fabric. You’d only been in a tanktop and panties anyhow, not many clothes on your body to begin with, but it still makes you feel...exposed.

The one who’d been at your neck and humping your side is growled at by the leader, causing them to chuff and move upwards more towards your head instead. The third of them nudges one of your arms to go up until you take the hint, raising your hands above your head and allowing the one near up above your head to press your wrists down with its massive claws.

“H-hey-” You whine out when you feel the curious nosing at your crotch. You’re shamefully wet, your hips lifting upwards when warm breath fans across your cunt. Your face flushes when you peek down, seeing the alpha of the pack nosing at your crotch and making such sweet little sounds as it inhaled you.

That’s when its long tongue comes sliding out, slick and long, maybe two and a half fingers in thickness much like a vine. At first it just slides over your entire cunt before slipping between your lower lips, lapping at you heavily with only a short amount of the entire length of its tongue. At first you sigh softly, tipping your head back in pleasure. Which must be an invitation for the one at your side just watching, for it takes this opportunity to lets its tongue loll out and lick over your cheek.

The wet sensation makes you wince with a soft, surprised sound. Causing all three to erupt in little concerned noises. Even the alpha between your legs popping its head up as they wait for you to say something. “N-no! No, no, it’s okay, it’s alright. Just- surprised, is all?” You speak in a shaky voice, but your tone must be satisfactory.

The alpha quickly goes back to lapping at you. Massive claws curling under your thighs as if it’d done this before. And maybe, maybe they had? Maybe they remembered some sort of their past ministrations like this? As is they were starting to learn certain phrases or keywords you were saying. Maybe memories of actions could come to their minds?

You’re immediately thrown from your thoughts when the alpha’s tongue presses into you, being so mindful of its teeth when they rest their face closer to your cunt. Practically letting you hump their face to get dual stimulation on your clit as a whine exits your lips. And once more you feel the tongue on your cheek, licking over towards your neck before coming up to your mouth.  

When you part your lips to allow entry, you’re nearly choked by the eagerness of the tongue. Your body lurches slightly, but you hear a growl overhead and a harder press to your wrists that keeps you still underneath them all.

You can’t move.

You’re like a toy.

That’s how it feels, but you know one sudden jerk or noise of discontent from you and they’d all stop. It’s what keeps you relaxed now when you feel the alpha’s tongue slithering further into you, folding in on itself to appear thicker as it plunges into you with quickness. It felt like a really wet, slippery cock. Filling you out and ensuring it didn’t snag or cause any discomfort from how wet it was.  

Moans spill from your throat that seem to delight the one with its tongue in your mouth. It curls its tongue around yours, feeling over your non-threatening teeth and even sometimes dipping more towards your throat as if it was fucking your mouth. It never chokes you, as if testing your gag reflex with small, little brushes and dips.

The one holding you down makes these pleased little sounds in reply to your own noises, occasionally dipping down to nose at your hair or bop your forehead with its face. It’s affectionate in its own little way, and you’d respond, if you didn’t have a tongue down your throat or fucking into your pussy right now. Instead you can only flex your fingers, squeezing onto one of its claws in each hand to try and reciprocate the affection.

Judging by how it makes this soft little chirrup sound, you can only hope that means they understood.

A nuzzle at your crotch only sends warmth throughout your body. You feel a twist inside of you, as if the alpha is trying to make its tongue bigger, fatter, to stretch you out further. You whine out, just in time for the one to your side to retract its tongue from your mouth and move overtop you. You let out a soft sound of confusion as its legs straddle you, its back facing your head and its own head dipping to check out what the alpha is doing. It obscures your view, but even more so, you see its cock hanging heavily for you.

Their dicks, as you are just now coming to find out, do not look like a normal human’s. Instead, they look like almost long tapered tentacles. At least this one was long. Looking maybe seven or eight inches in length, it matches its wet skin tone, yet it still had balls hanging where they normally should be. Just that its cock was long, a little thin like you could wrap your fingers around it with ease and touch fingertips, and was tapered rather than thick and rounded with a head. And that it seemed sentient in a way with how it could wiggle and jerk on its own, now that you’re watching it.

Odd, but definitely workable.

You watch its cock with interest hovering near your head, but not close enough. You can only feel how the large claws circling your thighs move to rest under your thighs instead, pushing up until you’re almost folded in half despite the other licker, who you are fondly calling ‘omega’ in your head. You make a soft sound, already having been achingly close to cumming, but the new angle provides a better press upwards into you.

Then you feel another tongue joining, licking down where the other tongue was in a slow fashion until it finds your ass. Your face flushes red, a moan dropping from your throat at the thin, slippery penetration. Shamefully it makes you cum near immediately, your body jerking into an arch as best as it could in this position. Despite the fact your body is shaking as you cum with soft cries, you quickly realize why you’re in such an odd position.

Because with your arms held above your head, and a beast’s pressure atop your body, and one holding you in half from below; You can’t move.

You’re over sensitive when the alpha keeps licking at your cunt. Twisting its tongue and pulling it out halfway where you can hear the audible panting and swallowing. When its face consistently keeps nuzzling at your engorged, sensitive clit, you sob outwardly and squeeze tight onto the claws keeping your arms down. Again, the affectionate gesture from the one who you are deeming ‘Beta’ holding you down, is offered with a gently forehead press to your own. It distracts you briefly from the wiggling into your ass, knowing that there was no ‘end’ like there was in your pussy.

Oh, you could only hope that the omega realized that.

Now you have two tongues folded into you. The one in your ass seems to be a good way in, nothing overbearing, but that must be because they’ve folded their tongue in a twisting motion to feel thicker. It stretches you open, the stimulus between their tongues both pumping in and out of you in tandem near eye watering. You think you’re whining yourself hoarse, your throat clenching as you grunt when over sensitivity turns into blinding pleasure.

Your second orgasm comes with your heart pounding and practically no sound leaving you. Your insides clench and flutter, only seeming to make both lickers make happy and delighted chittering sounds. Even being able to blearily see the omega’s cock jerk in front of you, seeming to almost curl on itself and dribbling a thin, white, sticky fluid down onto your chest in a way you can only assume is it being aroused.

You can’t find words, tossing your head back to bare your throat and cry out when their tongues keep going. The beta above you leans down to nose at your throat, bending itself in half to coo near your ear and make soft little noises as if to ease you. Even as you tense your entire body and tears pour down your face from too much stimulation.

The third orgasm you have is your brief release from their grasps. You’re moved around onto almost all fours, feeling like you’re made of goo from how limp your body is. Your arms are pulled forward, above your head, held by the same beta who seemed more interested in keeping you still than joining himself. You’ve got your head in their lap, resting your cheek on one of its thighs as you quiver with anticipation.

You hear the coos and growls behind you and can only assume that they’re moving around. You’re not sure who is who, unable to look behind you, but you feel one of them slide under you onto its back. Feeling sharp teeth skim across your exposed chest with interest but not piercing flesh. Large claws hold onto your thighs to sink you downwards onto their cock with ease making your breath hitch as it sinks into your pussy.

It’s not thick or large, but the fact that it seems to be...almost curling and moving on its own? That adds to the sensation. Then you feel another join on your back, almost mounting you like a canine might with a few humps missing before you feel its cock slip into your ass.

There’s really no mercy in their movements. Animalistic, the one on your back starts fucking you raw without abandon, the one underneath you clawing at your hips to hold you still despite the fact the one above you is rocking your body. You feel occasionally nudges and licks at your nipples, brushes of sharp teeth and curiously pleasured chitters coming from above and below you. You’re so fucked out you can’t even think, your throat hurts from your moaning, and all you can do is press your face into the beta’s lap and hold on tight for the ride.

“Fuck-” You sob out when the one mounting you starts pounding their hips harder against you. The wet slap of flesh on flesh and the curling inside of your body making your fingers clench into fists underneath the large claws holding your hands. That seems to only make the ones fucking you more excited, feeling like you’re being pounded near in sync, split apart from below.

When you cum for your last time, you’re so weak from it that you almost blackout. You can vaguely hear the animalistic noises above and below you, feeling the one beneath you stilling before you feel something almost...rounder plunge into your body?

Did...

Did they have KNOTS?!

They must have appeared after they were moving inside you, because it’s about as thick as three fingers, girthy and plunging into you. You sob out at the over filled feeling when the second does the same to your ass, sticky wet warmth filling your body with no hope of escape until either would move.

You feel a lick at the back of your neck after a moment, then a nuzzle at your chest, then a gentle bonk on the back of your head from a face. You can’t help the tired laugh that buzzes from you, rolling your hips to feel the resistance of the ones inside you. “Y-yeah- yeah, you guys are welcome. Just...Just make sure I don’t fall asleep, kay?”

You hear a soft noise from the beta gently nuzzling at the back of your head, but the knots don’t seem to stay very long inside you. After a few moments the one mounting you manages to tug itself out with a bit of a grunt from you, feeling the warmth spilling out of you and down onto the licker beneath you. It doesn’t seem to mind too much, not until it’s wiggling to get itself out from under you and popping its own knot out.

By the time you’re released, you can hardly tell who’s who trying to move you around. Like a limp noodle, you let them manipulate your overworked, naked body back to lying down. Finding yourself with one tucked to your side, another across your lap in a way, and the other by your head in a little nesting pile.

Briefly, before you fall asleep, you wonder if you should worry about future zombie babies.

[orange-waterfalls]

Reader w/ wings headcanons(Markiplier Alter Egos)

ty @fancybootm​ for the request!

A/N: i just did all of them. every-all-everyone. Except Yandereplier, Silver Shepard, Ed Edgar... maybe others I’m not aware of at the moment... I tried to stick with a certain number of egos, but my hands just... they just kept moving. It is 11:00 pm when im writing this ya boy is TIRED. there are 1.6k words. It seems longer than it is bc bullet points. Bear with me. You can find the egos that you want easily. The reader is gender neutral. i am so sorry if this is not what you meant lol. on the bright side this is a good reference for all the egos i am open to writing for(also maybe others idk) so uh im keeping it enjoy. I’ll say... a T rating for cursing and also a bit of violence but literally like 20 words. mentions of injury. that’s it.

Requests are open!

Y/N(reader) with wings hcs

No one knows what the fuck you are, not even you

Ya got wings. That’s it.

Are you an angel? A faery? A phoenix? Who knows

You woke up one day in a forest remembering nothing

But you had wings

And then you got shot with an arrow

You ran away and hid in a cave

Darkiplier spends most of his time around you studying you

To see what you could possibly be

He still doesn’t know

He’s settled for calling you a “cryptid”

He’s slightly annoyed with the feathers you leave around the manor

He won’t tell you bc you can’t control that and it’d be rude

You read together in his study on occasion

You sit on the floor bc your wings get uncomfortable in chairs

In sympathy, he also sits on the floor

You think it’s sweet

You told him so and he sputtered out a “shut up and read your book”

He’s fairly fond of you

You’re good company to keep around

Wilford was the one who found you

He was walking through the forest, as one does, when he saw GIANT feathers

Naturally, he followed them

He found you in a cave with an arrow in your shoulder

He took you back to the manor and patched you up

He begged Dark to keep you there

He promised not to kill anybody for a month

He made it 15 days, which is a record

He’s very protective of you, not letting you out a lot since uh… hunters

You are his Sweet Little Songbird, light of his life, wind in his sails, 

if anything happens to you he will kill everyone in the manor and then himself

He helps you preen a lot

His hands are very gentle, surprisingly 

He spends the most time with you out of everyone

You play games, talk(well, he talks to you), and just hang out

He loves and adores you with his whole heart

Actor tolerates you, or so he says

He’s jealous of your wings

HE’S supposed to be the mysterious, sexy one!

But ok, yeah, you’re pretty interesting

He uses you in short films sometimes bc… well… wings

There are alot of things you can do with wings, surprisingly

He took you out into town one night

He shoved the wings under a thick jacket

You guys bought some clothes and food

He cut holes in the clothes for your wings, grumbling about a “waste of money” and “you never go out anyway” 

but he enjoyed spending a bit of time with you

Wilford nearly killed him(again) when he found out

He likes venting to you bc you just nod without really listening

As I said, you’re good company

Yancy thinks you’re nice

He felt a bit… threatened at first

Ya got WINGS, of course he’s cautious

But they are very pretty

And he likes to use you in choreography

People always comment on how realistic the wings are as Yancy leads you away

You don’t judge him for killing his parents, he likes that about you

You don’t know. You could’ve done something bad. You don’t remember

He likes cuddling bc you wrap your wings around him and he feels safe

He also helps you preen… sometimes… 

He’s… really bad at it...

You like listening to him sing

He sings you lullabies at night

You’re very close

Illinois is very fascinated with you

He’s convinced you’re a fairy

He’s seen quite a few of those

You tell him you don’t know, and he goes “a LiKeLy StOrY”

He likes drawing you

You’re very angelic

“Oh, maybe an angel then…” He says, like an idiot

He takes you with him on a few adventures to fly him over pits and stuff

He’d never admit it but he has a… THING about heights

It’s called a phobia, you egotistic maniac

You try to help him with it

You never get that far off the ground before he’s screaming to be put down

He appreciates the effort

He gives you things he finds on adventures that are pretty or remind him of you

He infodumps to you about curses, and archaeology, and adventuring, etc.

Magnum is uh… well, he’s Magnum

He figures you’d be useful out at sea

You can find nearby land, ships, or treasure by flying, of course

He didn’t take into account the fact that you don’t really… fly that often.

So it turned into you just stretching your wings instead of looking for loot

Once you fell overboard

Everyone was like “eh, they can fly, it’s fine”

Then they realized that you probably can’t since your wings might be wet

Magnum LEAPED into the fuckin water and THREW you back on

He doesn’t take you on the sea as much anymore

sometimes you talk about life, treasure, love, y'know the usual

He’s very Father Figure-ly

Bim isn’t sure how to feel about you

You are a person. With wings. What’s he supposed to do about that

He’s friends with Wil, so has to tolerate you at least.

He tries to make conversation, but it doesn’t always go as well as it could

You don’t have much to talk about, and some of his topics worry you

Mostly you two just kinda… exist in the same general area

Sometimes he’ll discuss what he should do on his show

You don’t have many ideas

But you’ve gotten an idea of what it is, and sometimes give a suggestion or two

He appreciates you for that

He tried to get you on the show once but Wilford refused

You kinda wanted to, but whatever

You’ll hang out sometimes too

He’s very entertaining, he has to be

Eric is kind of scared

Not that you’ll hurt him, that he’ll hurt you

That happens a lot to people he likes…

He eventually starts hanging out around you

You don’t ask bad questions, and you distract him from his dad

He talks about animals with you a lot, and how he wanted a farm

You bought a cowboy hat and gave it to him and he cried

You also gave him a stuffed cow one day

He hugged you for a long time

You two cuddle a lot bc the boy needs SAFETY and SECURITY

You wuv each other(platonically or otherwise)

Dr. Iplier doesn’t bother you, mostly

He appreciates that you keep to yourself

He has his work, that’s what he’s focused on

Sometimes he’ll see you when you try to find Wilford or get some food

He tries to get a good look at you without looking suspicious

It doesn’t work, he always falls over

He once gave you a “physical”

It was mostly to just figure out what you were

You seemed mostly human based on the results

But goddammit you had WINGS

They had their own function but were sort of like an add-on to your body

He was slightly disappointed you weren’t gonna… turn into a whole bird

You tolerate each other

Google fuckin’ hates you

He’s completely perplexed by you

Which he is never because he is the most intelligent being on the planet

So he assumed he could figure out what you were

Turns out google fucking sucks at figuring out things people don’t already know

So he hates you. Like a lot

He’s tried to kill you multiple times

But his objective is to destroy MANKIND

You are not included in that

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE!!!

Also Wilford almost killed him for it

So yeah he just kinda hates you

You’ve tried to get along with him but he just wouldn’t

He finally talked to you when Bing called him a little bitch

Still hates you, but can tolerate your existence now

Bing fuckin’ adores you

You are just wonderful to him

You can FLY??!! You have WINGS???!!!!!

You don’t really care that he is an artificial BEING????!!!!!!!!

You’re perfect

He does Sick Tricks™ to try to impress you

They never do

You appreciate the effort

You don’t see him a lot, but when you to it’s very entertaining

He taught you how to skateboard

You kinda sucked but he’s very supportive

He likes just hanging around you

It’s the only time he ever chills the fuck out

Everyone’s thankful to you for that

Your entire dynamic is “what if... i put... my minecraft bed... next to yours? haha just kidding... unless?”

The Host doesn’t really care about the wings??

I mean, he can’t see them, so… what’s the big deal

You appreciate that

He still does the uh… narration thing… with real people…

The stories end better now

You convinced him to make the stories end better

You sat with him to make SURE the stories end better

He also started writing novels recently

You help with plot and character development

He appreciates that

The Jims… don’t really care about you

I mean you’re interesting, of course

But they physically Cannot get a clear picture of you

Even if you agree to sit still, it just doesn’t happen

It is always, ALWAYS blurry

They eventually give up and leave you alone

They do spend a bit of time with you

You help them with demon episodes sometimes

You don’t do much, but they like the emotional support

King of the Squirrels is… well, he’s him

He doesn’t… he doesn’t do much

He hangs out with his squirrels. That’s pretty much it.

You just started hanging out with him one day

He didn’t mind

You two feed the squirrels while sitting by a tree

He lets you wear his crown sometimes

He draws his squirrels, and lets you see the pictures

He teaches you how to draw them

You two don’t talk, really

You just sit. And hang out.

He doesn’t really smile, but you can tell when he’s happy with you

[sunsignshepherd]

Would you share a little about how the universe led you to Kappa? Had you followed Cyril's other litters?

Long Post Story Time:

I followed Pip first, actually! And learned about its extended farm family from there. I wasn’t following Cyril when his first planned litter was born (the Pride Month litter, that Kestrel is from)- but I did follow him before he even got Trixie.

Around the time he talked about his plans to breed Trixie to Kai, I was looking for a breeder for my first puppy. Outside of Cyril’s program I had actually considered a german shepherd or a springer spaniel. I had looked at shelter dogs for about a year beforehand before realizing that that just wasn’t gonna work for me.

My criteria that I outlined to Cyril was: a puppy that wasn’t overly sensitive (could bounce back from startling or stressful situations), not overly prone to reactivity (especially barrier related reactivity, and resource guarding), that enjoyed the company of other dogs/people/animals, and would be happy to Do Activities with me while not needing to Go Go Go All The Time. Biddability was a concern for me, since I was nervous abt how I’d handle a more husky type personality.

At the time I also lived in an apartment, with adequate space for a puppy but obviously no attached yard- and we were on the 2nd floor. So noise was also smn on my mind, as I had neighbors on all sides.

After kindly listening to ALL THAT, Cyril told me he thought the litter would produce some nice medium dogs that would be within my comfort zone.

When the time came I had specifically wanted a girl, and there were FOUR GIRLS out of five puppies, so I was excited. It turns out... the one that was best for me was the boy. Whoopse. Oh well.

I don’t really know what I expected, I was nervous lmao. My first dog that was Just Mine! I kind of expected the worst honestly haha. Like experience wise. Bc puppies are hard!

But Kappa spoiled me, really. Potty training was a breeze. When left alone (baby-gated in the kitchen) he never got into the trash or the pantry. He absolutely adores people, other dogs, and cats. Like he still chewed on things, and barked at other dogs, and blew off recall, like just... normal “I’m learning how the world works” Behaviors. But he was, and still is, and incredibly Easy dog to live with. Like EXTREMELY easy.

Every person that has met him has told me that he’s just an incredibly pleasant and charming animal, and most are surprised that he’s not even a year old and is still very much a teen puppy. I owe a huge portion of that to Cyril, his program, and his intuition in pairing us together. And a bit to training, too. But overall he’s a real find. I can’t imagine I’ll have another dog like him for a long time.

[ectonurites]

the core four for the ask game about headcanon types! ? no matter what i believe in Ur opinions

HFSDG im glad u have so much confidence in me... thats very flattering. im doing them as a group here esp bc i already did tim on his own (but if u/anyone wants me to take a stab at them individually i can also do that just send another ask fsgfdh)

A (realistic headcanon): 

alright so this kinda sits on the edge of hilarious and realistic but i have something different in mind for that one so: there is LITERALLY NO WAY they don’t have a group chat. they are Teens in a modern setting, like especially now that everyone’s back in continuity and reunited and everything. they HAVE a group chat. and god i can only imagine the chaos. bart can type so fast, so if he had an idea he was trying to communicate he would just be crazily spamming the chat. tim sending really weird cryptid-spotted style photos taken around gotham while on patrol. cassie going OFF on rants (also cassie like lowkey canonically likes kpop she makes Diana go to a kpop concert with her in WW:Agent of Peace #13 sfdhgf... cassie on kpop stan twitter and talking about the drama) and the rest just emoji reacting bc they support her but don’t always know what she’s talking about. kon just sending videos of the all farm animals and giving updates on things Ma bakes. i am open to suggestions on what their group chat’s name would be

B (hilarious): 

SO. you may have seen a lot of art i’ve made of the core four/yj in general that were based on memes. i have a whole planned fic i am GOING to write someday that essentially connects & gives context to the situations around creating those memes and pretty much is just a social media au crack thing but treated kinda seriously and is set relatively canon compliant at the start. basic premise being young justice makes an instagram account just for general PR stuff once they have reunited and it goes off the shits. but yes so the headcanon here would be: wanting to explore the inherent chaos of making an instagram account for your teen superhero team and all the possible ways it could go both so right and so wrong

C (heart-crushing): 

ok so i kinda talked about tim’s side of this a little bit already in my last post like this, but in general this is less of a headcanon but more just... i think when you actually think about the stuff these four went through that pulled them apart and how they managed to come back together only to get then pulled apart again by the reboot and now having reunited in yj 2019, (JUST FOR KON TO BE GETTING SEPERATED A G A I N but im ignoring that part for this rn) and how that would impact each of them, theres just a lot of angst there.

mostly gonna focus on the current current here but god Bart and Kon both coming into this new world that they don’t know how many people actually remember them, with Tim and Cassie managing to be there and having some memories and being some of the few people who can be a familiar comfort... except it’s not all there. i talk about it a lot but that one scene in yj 2019 where Tim isn’t sure if his memories of him, kon, and bart’s sleepovers in mount justice are real or just a dream... that hurts! there’s likely a lot of stuff like that in the time before death metal when the only force giving back memories for him is some brain magic from Zatanna. the four of them managing to come back to each other despite all the odds but having pieces of it just not quite the same because of how the world was tampered with... that hurts me so bad and i wish we could have gotten that explored more 

D (canon is a coward and won’t):

im sorry that for pretty much all of my ‘canon wont do it’ hcs are just about actually making the characters lgbt but its the truth. nobody in young justice is cishet. i think i’ve mentioned before that im pretty loose on specific gender and sexuality hcs for a lot of comic characters (because it just... the way characters are written isn’t always consistent bc Comics Be Like That so my hcs can kinda change based on different things/eras of characters) but yeah. feeling particularly strong lesbian cassie vibes today tho i will say that

also again another thing that unfortunately canon won’t fucking give us right now is just the four of them staying in one group... why the hell are they making Kon go on the suicide squad in upcoming stuff im dying 

[mingmingfufu]

Can we just talk about the ending of KawoShin open discuss. *sort of spoilerish*

I feel like I’m the only one who’s like reallly disappointed LMFAO--ya’ll there’s so much “canon” alternative universe and merchandise for Kawoshin in Evangelion that it kind of makes me upset to realise this couple just went down the drain. Yeah, I can see how people were like, “Kaworu’s toxic” or “Kaworu has a hero complex for Shinji” to which I say are valid points. But the toxic thing I feel like can also be applied to pretty much everyone around Shinji tbh, except for Rei. I did NOT, like Asuka at all but I really love her character though, and I felt for her a lot throughout the series.

I did not ship them either because honestly, Shinji and Asuka seemed better off playing the sibling dynamic instead of trying to play bf/gf which honestly is kind of forced by their living situation. Also since they’re in a similar disposition non existent father and dead mother, you’d imagine they would rely on each other for emotional comfort. Though Asuka—her personality I feel like she can’t differentiate between familial love and romantic love and the affection she wants is a bit of both. But, her character tries to be “mature”; she wants romantic love more and does this through sexual means and romantic gestures e.g. like kissing. One of my friends told me that you can’t stay friends as a boy and a girl cause eventually you catch feelings. Which I say is kinda dumb cause I have a lot of male friends, and I definitely don’t harbour those feelings, but I guess it’s a common phenomena.

I think this is what happens in this case, of Asuka and Shinji. Even after rejection of instrumentality they actually are depicted as childhood friends. But knowing how they both were before to each other, it was not good tbh. Also to mention the choking like thrice— bro if anything, this showcases a really abusive relationship and I think this outstretches the idea of their character tropes. Which I firmly stand by saying they’re superficial to each other. AsuShin were never really there for each other and are using each other in a forced situation. However, you can’t deny that they didn’t at some point catch feels, also Shinji is pretty consistent how he still cares about everyone around him. Which I really like how they add that to his character because it reminiscent of Yui, because you see a duality of both his parents personality in Shinji throughout the series—it’s a really nice touch. But bruh, if we gonna talk about that coma scene—I’m out LOL.

Thoughhhh, she is a true definition of best girl I really like her arc, fighting drive, and her skills as an Eva pilot 😭💗--but bruh she’s still a toxic and sometimes annoying tsundere trope, but still she’s 14 what can you do. So I feel like Kensuke and Asuka are actually a pretty good combo, cause he’s always been pretty mature even without parents. Also Asuka was into older guys, so I guess this is a win win?? Also Rei and Shinji, I honestly cannot get my head around it cause that’s pretty much his mom—so in a way that’s like either his half-sister or mom-ish clone?? Idk but Yui is definitely the donor LOL.

Kaworu and Shinji I felt like brought a bunch of things out of each other. I don’t know which timeline begins first, but I’d like to think the manga, the anime (plus its movies), and then to the rebuild series. Because I think that order is kind of pivotal to observing Kaworu’s character development from being a person who’s trying to understand human feelings to then the kinder person we see in the final series. You can tell how he’s changed and he knows Shinji a lot more as well as being considerate to him e.g. giving him personal space or letting him work at his own pace. Also that “we’ll meet again.” Is an obvious nod to how he’s done this before.

His literal story in every timeline is always romantic LOL, like bruh I can’t remember which game it was but basically a bad ending of Kawoshin route is that you reject Kaworu and he starts the third impact 🤡. Also I don’t know why but I started to see a weird dynamic between those two, in the manga their interactions reminded me of Asuka and Shinji—which Shinji is the tsundere Asuka here. I don’t know if this is relevant but the older character relative to the character they’re with seems to play off a mature vs a childish person trope. Asuka is younger than Shinji and Shinji is actually younger than Kaworu. Then again I could be overseeing this but istg manga Kaworu and Shinji mirror the whole Asushin dynamic. Like he’s seriously agressive against Kaworu, then after killing him he admits liking him. ��� I don’t know which is funnier no homo Shinji, homophobe shinji, or just closet Shinji who needs to realise sexuality is a spectrum so he could’ve idk—come out as bisexual, but whatever manga Shinji lol that timeline is over.

Anyways the development of these two is real and I think the rebuild timeline shows them at their best bringing their own personage out from each other like how they both enjoy music together--WHICH I’M SO SAD WE NEVER GET TO SEE THAT CELLO AGAIN. Then there’s those feelings of humanity, love, kindness, etc. Which yeah an angel could represent those things, but Kaworu is still his own person, self-aware of a cycle and if you think about how he initially was there to USE Shinji, but ultimately turned on that plan set by SEELE because he loved Shinji (and a bunch of other things like him showing Kaworu humanity). I also can see the argument, how “ideal” Kaworu is to Shinji, but he’s more self aware of the time he has before he KNOWS he’ll die and knows how to act for himself in that duration to make the most of it. All with Shinji. At some point, I think he fell in love with Shinji tho I don’t know where it began tbh—considering that all those alternate universes do exist. Kaworu does romantically love Shinji--so, in some universe they both reciprocate their feelings to each other. 

In the last movie during that convo with Shinji. Like bREH it’s so emotionally moving because Kaworu remembers ALLLLL the timelines and how he’s been with Shinji and later Shinji himself recalls the events too. Where they show the scene from the manga and anime. Kaworu cries after being set free from the EVA cycle. Which, I definitely understood what he meant by him saying “it’ll be lonely” and how Shinji changed or that he’s actually different this time.

Either way, Shinji did right by him because it’s always Kaworu who has the purpose of “trying to save Shinji” but it always ends up the same. I thought that was really moving because Shinji tells Kaworu he’s gonna let him live a life for himself for once and he wants the same for everyone as well. Which was honestly so meaningful cause I think Kaworu’s character and like Rei too when they start to realise how to “live” like a person and not another puppet it’s truly liberating. Another thing I forgot, bruh Kaworu calls Gendo his father and ngl I feel like this is kind of a weird lore situation because I for sure don’t think he’s the donor. I think he calls him that as an insult because he knows Gendo’s whole doing and relative to Shinji—I kind of see it as a joke LOL. Like it’s equivalent to saying, “daddy chill”, or “hey look it’s daddy and his plans to end the world” also I kind of like to think of it as a father in law thing cause you know, Kawoshin *winks amirite*

The ending, I’m honestly hoping is just an open ending because it gives everything an actual start of their adult lives not being dictated by extraterrestrial forces. Though, I’m kind of wondering if the world doesn’t have EVAs does that still mean everyone else still has the same backstory, and do they remember? Maybe Mari really is just a coworker lmfao, and there’s still a chance for Kaworu and Shinji cause ngl, they did have a convo (presumably from the spoilers) about still remaining close afterwards and that stare at the ending seems very hopeful.

I call bs from Anno saying, “oh Shinji is based off him and Mari off of his wife”, like honestly any OCs made theres always some part of yourself made into that character. Which is probably why a lot of people relate to the characters in EVA because they’re based off real things (e.g. those war machines characters are named after and people around them). I think why Kaworu and Rei are together at the end, is bc they’re very much the same. They’re mass produced dolls—which oddly enough that’s the case for all the children except they don’t recall the loop. Kind of funny also how both Kaworu and Rei became farmers lmfao so ig it runs in the family (yes that’s right I like the idea that they’re siblings it was always noted that they’re like “the same”).

Another thing, i think why the rebuild really did well for Kawoshin and in my opinion canonised it—the convo with elder Ryoji Kaji (Misato’s baby daddy) that there was a time he felt incredibly lonely and depressed thinking Misato didn’t love him and so he started looking out for himself. So self love and found himself a hobby in farming which he suggests to Kaworu—basically saying he might feel like Shinji doesn’t love him but he’s gotta remember to take care of himself. if I go thru a breakup ill feel like it’s the end of the world but Kaji says y’a gotta self love broe and take care yo self gad dam fam 😭 💗.

Though, that look at the end from Shinji to Kaworu—I’d like to believe there is still hope that one day when they’re a bit stable in their adult lives, they’ll run into each other.