#also if it's true that's so fucking funny

[visenyaism]

Wanting to join the Great Bastard challenge, Gaelythys (from valyrian god Gaelithor, because his mom tought it would be cool) is the son of a random witchey lady who says to be from Asshai but could also be just from anywhere in the east because westerosi lords do not know the difference. Aegon IV bedded her because it made the Dragonknight SUPER MAD being in the same room as her so Aegon went shes gonna live here now. Gaelythys grew up scrolling spells and scrolls from both his weird ass super hated at court mom and the royal library (he probably found the same scroll rhaegar will find about ice and fire but decided it just wasnt interesting) while trying to prove everyone he was a Big Bad Dark Wizard In TrainingTM but unfortunately for him Brynden was just better at being spooky than him so everyone tought he was just a pansy for reading. He ends up hating Bloodraven because he thinks he could do a better job at Magical Treachterous Liutenant so he sides with the Blackfyre. He still doesnt get along with Bittersteel tho. At some point he tried to convince Daemon to let him do the leech ritual mel did with stannis but Daemon didnt had time for that nerd shit. Used to throw plague rotting corpses at the loyalists with the trebuchets when unsupervised until Bittersteel made him stop "wasting resourches". He ran in exile with the Blackfyre, then when the Great Spring Sickness happened said he had summoned it with his rituals (he did not). Daemon II was his favourite Blackfyre kid. Has been trying to persuade every Blackfyre that if they cant have Westeros they should re-colonize Valyria which would totally work out #trust. Either at some point he actually tried to visit Valyria to show it could be done and died or (less realistic but funny to me) hes still out there and hes gonna run into Shiera!Quaithe and they are gonna do the spider meme. Hes actually bad at magic he just buyed his own excuse to skip PE in the Red Keep very hard. Despite living in the Red Keep and doing magic he never tried to bed Shiera so she immediately called him gay and bullied him as kids but also allowed him to swap rituals. Somehow both Bloodraven and Bittersteel still tought they were fucking which is why they hated him so bad.

Re-colonizing valyria….this is a true insane charlatan this is real great bastard content right here. Euron greyjoy wants what he has

[euniexenoblade]

Why do you refer to yourself in your bio as a "biological dysphoric female?"

the short: "biological female" and "dysphoric female" are phrases coined by terfs to be transphobic, and there was a movement for trans women to take them from terfs as our own.

the long: sex is fucking fake. gender is just sex. i know this makes a lot of people, cis and trans, mad, but shit is not real. sex as society uses it is the scientific application of gendered oppression. "biological sex" has been a method of misogyny for a long, long time. (side note, biological sex has also been a used to enforce racist, ableist, homophobic and intersexist thought).

saying something is "scientific" is "bigoted" or "fake" always seems to throw people through a loop. but "science" is not a neutral concept. a scientist with a bigoted agenda will skew results to affirm their bias. the easiest example of this is transphobic/homophobic studies that conservatives point to that when you dig into them you realize it's research done by a right wing think tank that's just making shit up, or did a study that is immoral or flawed specifically to yield their result. the point is, if a scientist goes into their work with a bias, the bias will alter the result. now imagine a scientist from a hundred or two hundred years ago doing gender or race sciences, we look at them like they're stupid and bigoted and we've advanced so far, but a lot of their bullshit still exists, it's just been reworked into something more acceptable.

sex, like actual "biological sex," is a very complicated thing that is more than just genitals. the body can vary in so many ways, but these concepts have been dumbed down into the male/female dichotomy we all know, and even though we know this dichotomy isn't real it still sticks around in low level, basic biology courses, identification stuff, medical stuff, etc, thus enforcing the age old gender separation (and thus oppression).

i know youre rolling your eyes and telling me to get to the point, but the point is that, the separation of gender and sex is new, and frankly i've never enjoyed it. "you're a woman but you're male" isn't true and leads to mistreatment by....everyone.

i refuse to let the world define me and my body. "female" just means "woman" in literally everything. so i define myself, i'm female. im a trans woman and i'm biologically female.

the "dysphoric" angle is a lot quicker to explain. despite my annoyance with the term "dysphoria" it is heavily associated with transhood. I don't define transhood by dysphoria (you don't need dysphoria to be trans) but the world sorta does. and being that terfs confuse their own dysmorphia and whatnot as "gender dysphoria" and coined "dysphoric female" too....I guess "steal" dysphoria from trans people, i decided i, too, am a dysphoric female. the funny thing is, i don't even experience dysphoria really. i used to but i don't really anymore.

but, take both of those, and wa-la, biological dysphoric female.

[nestaians]

didn’t feyre think tamlin sided with hybern for her alone?

yeah getting her back from rhysand and breaking their deal was a part of it

bc in his eyes rhysand is evil bc that’s rhysand’s whole public thing, rhysand had assaulted feyre utm so obvs he thought she was being brainwashed and wasn’t safe in night court

rhysand paraded her in CoN as his whore btw

didn’t feyre herself said stuff that would make tamlin believe she wasn’t safe in nc?

but girly, what about tamlin’s people? you know he is a high lord, right? he cares about his people a lot, you have seen it

girl literally saw him after UtM how he threw himself into work, into looking after his people and his court. the whole reason her ass got locked in the house was bc she wanted to follow him for something dangerous happening at the border

maybe he did it to get immunity for this people who already have been through hell under amarantha, or maybe he was playing with hybern, fucking hell tamlin is smart

she literally had fallen in love with him so how come she didn’t know that basic info?

she writes tamlin off as this guy who is willing to turn over his people, his court and the rest of the continent, who for 50 years he tried to free from amarantha and actually did, for her. to get her back and that’s the whole reason he’s doing it- and then gets angry over her own assumption and uses it as reason to destroy his court and turn his people refugees like??????

he had a valid reason to get her back but he also does care about his people and won’t just throw them to the wolves and for her alone. 2 things can be true

not everything is about her and her alone

she wants to be special so bad

isn’t it funny how in feyre’s eyes rhysand is a good guy for doing a similar thing by working with amarantha; abusing her UtM, killing claire, and doing everything he was ordered to for 50 fucking years and so he could protect 1 fucking city, not his court, just 1 city and left 2/3 of his court to be tortured and murdered?

[zebra-rigel]

roleswap au with transmigrator!mobei-jun

I literally can't stop thinking about the one chapter in Feynite's Scum Villian AUs (linked at the bottom of this post) where mobei-jun and luo binghe are the transmigrators. Not Only that but Luo Binghe is presumably. the Author of Proud Immortal Hero's Way.

The story is Moshang with implied bingqiu : featuring modern Mo Bei (a dork ass gaming nerd) who dies by electrocution and transmigrates into the novel he has an abusive relationship with. And because life hates him, he becomes the doomed and shallow scum villian, the ice demon Mobei-jun.

A typical human-hating demon,[. . .]why would Shang Qinghua want to exact revenge on Mobei-Jun? Well, probably because the demon lord tried to kill him and nearly got him thrown out of Cang Qiong sect and oh, yes, abused him for years.

Obviously the way to not die in the not-so-distant future by the protagonist's hands, is by hugging the thighs of (*coughs* spoiling) a teenage Shang Qinghua. If it also unexpectedly becomes the first basic human(ha!) consideration Shang Qinghua encounters (because he never got any in the original webnovel) well, Mo Bei-jun will just live with that! (visualize mobei jun taking a moment to glare menacingly in the general direction of Earth (in the hope of radiating some potent bad vibees towards Heavenly Sky Pillar))

[note to admit that I could be misremembering details, because my true interest(and hyperfixation) lies in like: what was actually going on in the 'original webnovel' of Proud Immortal Hero's Way, because Luo Binghe as Heavenly Sky Pillar seems to be a more unreliable narrator than SQQ himself]

Highlights of this AU are:

1. Mo Bei mentioning that he couldn't understand why the protag!Shang Qinghua had tried to salvage a relationship with the original Mobei-Jun for so long. (the answer should be toxic yaoi!) I can't just- like, this is obviously a version of aeroplane!SQH with all his admiration and hopeless crushing(like in SVSSS) but the dynamics!! 2. Speculating on what will Happen after their version of the Endless Abyss? which is

the moment when Mobei-Jun tried to expose his ‘demon connections’ to the rest of Cang Qiong sect, nearly got him killed, and earned his eternal hatred.

All I can imagine now is Mobei-jun acccidentally triggering said event, staying the hell away from Cang Qiong sect but eventually being tracked down by a resentful, powerful Shang Qinghua who has all but conquered the known world, faster and quicker than he did in the original. He's even given himself a title now! Royal Advisor! Royal Advisor to what, Qinghua, everyone knows you won't answer to an Emperor, let alone a King!

When Shang Qinghua lays it all at his feet, the only one surprised is Mobei-jun. 3.The matter of Luo Binghe (that i've created in my head) It's so fucking funny to me

Link to the chapter! Please read it and come back<3 it's so good! https://archiveofourown.org/works/17041973/chapters/42597041

[lukeynewtssimp]

that bianca person followers speaking ill of luke and saying he played them is insane like when did he even play them? the man only called nic a friend nothing more nothing less how is he an evil man now for going to an event with his gf & it isnt even first time he take her to an event he took her to that GQ event thing too

I can’t confirm if this is true because thankfully all these blogs have blocked me and saved me from witnessing all the craziness.

I was, however, sent some hateful comments that were made on many of these blogs and it’s just all so funny to me. If you wanna hate anybody for deceiving you, why don’t you hate these bloggers who planted these crazy ideas in your head instead of hating on Luke and Nic who literally have repeatedly told you that they were friends. Luke never said he was in love with Nic or that they are together in any capacity beyond friendship!

I have also seen some comments justifying the hate towards Luke, saying that it’s understandable because the majority of this fandom is made up of women who identify with Pen…. Do you realise how fucking insane you sound?!?! First of all Nic is not Pen and Luke is not Colin, get that through your thick head. They don’t live in that fantasy world you’ve completely made up in your mind….

They’re only proving what we have been saying all along: they use Nic as a self-insert, project all their hopes and dreams and hurt on her and live vicariously through her. So in their minds Luke not being with her means he somehow rejected them?? Make it make sense. Also, i just find it ridiculous they’d ever even compare themselves to Nic when they wish they had an ounce of that woman’s beauty. Be for fucking real and grow the fuck up! That’s real life people, it’s not some crazy fanfic.

I could really go on and on about this but I’ll just leave it here for now because no amount of talking will change these people’s mindsets.

[knot-ee]

Dream-like, incredulous state was slipping away, and -- yes, was there, but FEAR began infecting the sorcerer too. He did not fear anything. Not anymore. Even as he chanted that like a mantra that would come true simply by repetition, his rational side knew that was incorrect. However he was scared of LESS things. He did not fear for his life. He was not of powerful curses. He was only scared of losing his family. He was so confident that his goals to eradicate useless monkeys would come true that he only real thing to fear was sorcerers killing his daughters and his other family members.

All it took was some cruel jujutsu sorcerer in the name of serving the elders to kill his precious daughters. All it took was an angry and JADED Satoru Gojo to bring his entire empire crumbling down. Suguru had shut the door on their friendship and even them as enemies until Suguru's plans came to fruition. Tipsy or not he had opened the door and what lied on the other side was a furious tiger. Satoru fixed himself in his life like his cock pummeling Suguru's ass. The sorcerer felt his guts clench with dread because what he had called obsession and co-dependence was also love.

Love was not always so beautiful and pure. They had their pure moments back as fifteen year olds. It was tainted now. While Suguru knew Satoru was not capable of evil by the standard definition he also did not have regard to rules and people's feelings. It was always a conundrum as to why Satoru stuck with jujutsu all things considered. Satoru was in it -- life -- simply because he wanted to, and he shaped his life around his whims and desires.

Suguru didn't get it.

He understood the obsessiveness; after all, he and Shoko were Satoru's first and only friends. His life was full of control and expectation before genuine friendship made its appearance. However between the two, it was Suguru who Satoru latched onto to so why -- WHY did he continue to support the elders? And what did Satoru have planned for Suguru? It was sickening and odd battling worry with pleasure. Suguru's cursed energy was ebbing like crazy. Suguru was moaning Satoru's name with pleasure but Satoru was chanting his name with love, adoration, desperation.

Tears formed at the edges of those purple eyes when fingers gripped him to bruise. A normal person would have been broken, both in flesh and bone. For Suguru, it was animalistic fucking. Marking. Longing. Suguru had half a mind to change their positions in order to squeeze Satoru's neck with his thighs in retaliation. Tears hid Suguru's thoughts and emotions as Satoru's soulful eyes stared and stared. He felt exposed and that was funny considering they were fucking.

His heart actually ached. He PITIED Satoru and more than that, Suguru's teenage self felt it all. He needed those words back then. Suguru squeezed his eyes tight and came HARD. Abdomen and balls tensed as cum hit his chest and Satoru's, reaching far enough to land a few cum droplets on Suguru's neck. His hole tightened impossibly against Satoru for that moment and then relaxed. Looking at Satoru was difficult so he unlocked his ankles and dropped his legs.

Both of his hands landed on Satoru's chest and with a great amount of force pushed the sorcerer back. He used more force than necessary until his former best friend was sent on his back onto the floor. Suguru was on him in an instant. He just came but his stamina was still high and his cock never went flaccid. He straddled Satoru's lap and ran his hands down from his neck to his abdomen. Massaging the muscles and dragging his nails against the pale flesh until it turned red. He lifted himself on his knees and gyrated his hips, grinding the thick swell of his ass against Satoru's cock but not riding it. Not yet.

“ You've always talked too much, Satoru ”

Satoru knows. He knows this might be the only chance he ever gets. Suguru was caught off guard tonight—a rare, fleeting vulnerability exposed. Satoru knows damn well that Suguru has been avoiding him, slipping through his grasp like smoke in the wind, making it impossible to close the gap between them. So many times, Satoru had been close, achingly close, but Suguru had always managed to evade him. Maybe back then, a part of Satoru hadn't been ready. Maybe he’d been too afraid to confront the truth, to face Suguru as he truly was. Even tonight, he wasn’t ready.

How many nights had he spent agonizing over the words he’d say if he ever saw him again? Imagining a thousand ways their reunion might play out? Dreaming, desperately, of a scenario where he could somehow convince Suguru to come back to him.

Or—what if he had joined Suguru? Would Suguru have accepted his love then? Would they have found their happily ever after, free from the chains of their duty? Satoru, ever the optimist, ever the fool, had envisioned a future where their students didn’t have to endure the same pain and suffering they had. Yet for all his hopeful daydreams, he held no hope for himself. His chance at happiness had died the day Suguru walked away.

And yet… this—this moment—felt like a cruel, beautiful dream come true. To kiss Suguru, to taste him after all these years of longing, was one thing. But to have him like this, to be buried so deeply in him, to hear Suguru moan his name, beg for him, need him—it was almost unbearable. If this was how it ended, Satoru would accept it. If Suguru took advantage of this moment and struck him down, so be it. Better that than Satoru being forced to do the unthinkable. Everyone knew he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t.

“Suguru…”

His voice was a rough whisper, a prayer spilling from his lips as he buried his face against Suguru’s neck. His grip on Suguru’s waist tightened, fingers pressing hard enough to leave bruises—marks that screamed, you’re mine. Satoru found a rhythm, his thrusts growing harder, deeper, more frantic. Each movement tore a groan or a moan from his throat, words he couldn’t bring himself to say caught there, strangled by the weight of his emotions. He wanted to tell Suguru how much he missed him, how he’d spent sleepless nights wishing for a different ending. He wanted to beg for answers, to ask what he could have done differently. More than anything, he wanted to say the words he’d been choking on for years. I love you. I always have. I always will. But the words wouldn’t come. All he could do was moan Suguru’s name, over and over again, as if saying it enough times could make it real—could make this last forever.

Each thrust was harder, rougher, fueled by frustration and longing. It was as if, through sheer force, Satoru could make Suguru feel every ounce of pain he’d left him to carry. As if he could show him, with every bruising kiss and desperate motion, just how much he’d suffered in his absence. But behind every rough movement, every bite and squeeze was the love Satoru had buried for so long. Love that ached and burned, love that refused to die no matter how many times it had been shattered.

“You’re mine, You’re mine, Suguru.”

Satoru growled, his voice low and trembling with raw emotion. He kissed him hard, his forehead pressed against Suguru’s as their gazes finally met. Those beautiful, haunted eyes—Suguru’s—held him captive, calming the storm inside him, if only for a fleeting moment. But then the pleasure surged again, relentless and all-consuming, coiling low in his stomach. He was close—too close—but he didn’t want it to end.

His hand slid down, gripping Suguru’s thigh and hitching it higher, deepening their connection. His other hand moved between them, wrapping around Suguru’s aching cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts. His hips snapped forward harshly, and he drank in every gasp, every moan, every shuddering cry that fell from Suguru’s lips. Satoru’s eyes, impossibly bright, locked onto Suguru’s, and he couldn’t look away. He didn’t want to miss a single second of the beauty in Suguru’s face—the way it twisted with pleasure, the way his lips parted to gasp his name.

“And I’m yours. Always have been. Always will be.”

Satoru whispered hoarsely, his voice cracking with the weight of his emotions. He didn’t care if the world ended tonight. He would make this moment last.

[possiblyawesometmblr]

i'm allowing myself exactly one (1) moment of pure delusion:

jon martin jonah. thanks for your time.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[n-hospital]

you. N and volo's massive parallels. you understand yes?

[lbhslefttiddie]

honestly i don't think sqq (jiu) would have minded the accusations of preferential treatment from yqy if they'd felt true. like as children he guarded the title of being yue qi's Favorite with teeth and claws. why shouldn't he be given preferential treatment? everyone ought to know just who qi-ge likes and trusts over everyone else. and for good fucking reason--who else here is watching out for qi-ge? as peak lords he's literally 2nd in command and chief tactician, if yqy values his word over yours, then its both what makes most sense and also what he deserves.

the thing is that to sqq, being accused of being favoured by yqy over others now just feels like a sick joke, because obviously (to him) that's not the fucking case. if he actually gave him preferential treatment you'd think he'd listen to what he has to fucking say, instead of believing what anyone else tells him about sqq. you'd think, if he was yqy's favorite, he wouldn't have left him to rot.

so i think, in a setting where they reconcile after becoming peak lords, that sqq would very much slap yqy's love for him in everyones faces as a kind of power move. a kind of, "oh, you thought that was favouritism? you havent seen yet what it looks like when qi-ge lets himself favour someone."

[mohntilyet]

illario + lucanis growing up together means a lot for obvious reasons ofc like the fact they did not have to go through the dellamorte villa torment nexus alone really helps. immediately from the moment they are taken to that house, lucanis has had something to protect and love. the snark and jokes that they share in wigmaker job finally having a chance to shine outside of the only person lucanis is socialised with and he learns that wow, he's actually likable. because up until this point everyone around him calls him a demon and is freaked out by him but ofc the veilguard only know him as lucanis "he banished harding from the kitchen" dellamorte. sure he's a big bad crow assassin but his reputation simply does not carry that much weight with people who are just equally deranged (maybe a de riva rook but that's also a little different) . and then he's able to share and extend that love with his new friends, and able to try being something that he's not had the chance to before, and his goodness is actively encouraged rather than being an unfortunate sidequest that is tolerated. and i fondly think also of how much of that humor is copied and mirrored off illario ("shoulders....... feeling tight...... need a ..... MASSAGE!") and it's his best experiences with illario that turned him into the man he is. wish the game explored this just a little more because the betrayal would have been made a lot more intense if they had just bothered to show any of illario's redeeming qualities. he has them!!!!! nobody is just born a traitor. you have to love someone before they can become that.

[jeremyjohnirons]

so theres this sweeney todd revival recast....

[wouldyoupleasejust]

Yeah I also got spoiled by the heart tweets, but in a way I'm kinda glad it happened because it made me focus on robbie for the entire last ten minutes of the episode, and it was so interesting to see him - trying to find the right moment, every now and then starting to speak up and then stopping when someone else does too, having made the decision of what he's about to do and KNOWING it has to be the last scene of the episode after all these other chucklefucks finish their fun and games. And he did such a good job I'm so so so happy with how they both dealt with this!!!

[dandp]

I'm watching through the early Phil younows for the first time and boy, we understandably harp on Dan the most for the 2012 era denial/overcompensating but Phil's contributions are fascinating. So far my highlights include:

"Dan and I don't do everything together because then we would get sick of each other...as friends" ok no one was reading into it as if you weren't friends

Him willingly reading out "would you rather marry Dan or lick a hobo" and having an extended moment of silence that lasts way too long to be casual as he fights for his life trying to figure out what to say before saying hobo and quickly trying to move on. Then Dan joins later on and he unprompted tells Dan about this. Also should be noted shortly after he answered he was like "huh weird my chat is suddenly being slow and there's nothing for me to read out" which seems a little too convenient to me

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[camgoloud]

colin: i’m gay

ted, radiating youth pastor energy: you know who else played for the other team?