#also if anyone is in my activity saying these girls came out of nowhere as if ms. gen hasnt been here since 1x02 and is in the team pics...

[taiturner]

YELLOWJACKETS ◆ 2x07 "Burial"

[lucysarah-c]

Hi! Happy new years eve ✨🥂 hope you had an awesome 2023 and all my best wishes and blessings for 2024 🫶🏼

Now, I can’t get this idea out of my head. Levi adopting a kitten with his girl. I always thought of Levi like a cat person, idk he just seem to fit on it. And as a cat person myself I would love to read something about it.

I can imagine him thinking is a bad idea but then he cant go anywhere in the house without the kitty 🫶🏼 so adorable I guess

Ahhh happy new year!! Thank you for all your well wishes and sending them back to you! I'm sorry it took me this long to write this for you sweetie! T-T so sorry

It started in the least expected way. Levi and his group of friends had been trying to find new ways to spend time together in their difficult adult lives. They wanted to revisit certain activities they used to enjoy in their glory college days and bond a little. You, of course, didn’t complain. If Levi decided to go camping with his friends or hiking on any weekend, it was also a chance for you to hang out with your friends at home, maybe watch a movie he doesn’t like, and have a “me” afternoon. It was all positive until Levi began to notice something during their hangouts.

Dogs.

All of them, particularly Mike and Erwin, had their own respective big, fluffy, loyal-to-death dogs that they would take with them on hikes, jogs, or even camping trips. You could see from the look in your boyfriend's eyes that he was envious. The only reason you and Levi hadn’t adopted any pets before wasn’t because of you in particular. You grew up with pets, loved them, and felt that the house was missing something without a fluffy companion. And don’t get me wrong, Levi had always had a soft spot for animals. But, in his own words, “As a kid, my family could never afford one… and Kenny hated them so.”

When you two moved in together, he didn’t want any pets due to "too much hair, too much mess, and too much money spent on the vet." But now, you could see in his eyes that he desired one, especially when they took pictures with his friends' dogs, and Levi hardly ever took pictures himself. Sooner or later, you brought up the idea, and he seemed excited. You quickly guessed that he wasn’t going to be the one to suggest it since perhaps his pride stopped him from admitting that now all the previous reasons he had given you to say no weren’t that important.

One lazy Saturday, you were walking past the doors of a shelter. Both of you admitted that if you were going to get a pet, it would be a rescue, giving the chance for an animal to live the American dream (two adults with good salaries, a pretty house, and no kids) after someone had made them believe they were trash. Both of you talked to the receptionist, who said that soon she would walk both of you to the dog’s department to choose. But when the guide came back and you were ready to go in and check out the puppies with your boyfriend, he was nowhere to be found.

Quickly, you followed the sound of people talking, and there he was, talking to a vet at the cat’s side of the shelter. The vet seemed to be deeply engrossed in conversation with him as you reached his side.

“Lev? Love, they are waiting to show us the dogs,” you called to him before smiling softly at the vet, acknowledging their presence.

“Oh, I was just telling him that she never gets close to anyone, not even to us. It was almost magical seeing her trying to reach out to him,” the vet said, and you quickly concluded it was the cat that was rubbing the top of her head against the front of her cage, trying to reach Levi.

“Aww, poor thing,” you said as you bent down slightly to have a better look at her face and perhaps give the cat some love through the small space of the bars. But the cat quickly moved away from your touch and softly hissed.

It hurt you, despite knowing that all cats have their temperament, until the vet spoke again, “Oh, she has always been a little grumpy; she’s not a fan of people.”

Levi also bent down to the cat's level, and he seemed to be the chosen one because the cat was continuously bumping her head against the cage, seeking more love from him. “Well, that makes two of us,” he commented, admitting his antisocial tendencies.

“When we found her, we thought she was feral because of the damage from living on the streets and her attitude, but we found she was chipped. We contacted the owner, but he said that since she couldn’t have more kittens, they left her in the streets,” both of you slightly raised to look at the shelter’s owner with heartbroken faces. “She’s been here for a while, but nobody wants her because she’s old, grumpy, and because of all the pregnancies she had, she has FIV, which is an expensive treatment an-”

“I’m taking her,” Levi interrupted the vet without a second thought, and you were about to comment that the plan was to get a dog, nothing against taking the little cat.

“Are you sure? It’s a lot of responsibility, and she’s rather old,” the vet warned.

“I’m sure. What do I have to do to take her home?” Levi replied with confidence.

That’s how Chai Tea, or just Chai, came into your life. She was a grumpy old lady, but you two loved her to death, especially Levi. She seemed to be a golden brownish Persian, which made sense given her breeding history, but one of her ears was damaged from living on the streets, giving her a permanently angry face. The first sign of her enjoying being a spoiled princess was during her first visit to the vet after her adoption, when the instructions were to reduce her food rations because she was already a bit too chubby.

“Shhh, don’t listen to the vet. You’re perfect,” you heard Levi whispering as he rocked her in his arms in the kitchen. “Here, have some ham.”

She was obsessed with him, and he was obsessed with her. Did Levi complain about the hair? A lot, but at least he took the effort to vacuum and brush her himself. In his own words, “If I can make her life worth it for even a little bit at the end of it, then I’ll do it.”

It was endearing to receive a text message from Levi saying "On my way home," and then witness the little fluffy ball rushing down the hallway with her short legs once you tell her "Chai! Daddy is coming home!"

It was incredibly cute how she would meow all the way to the front door, occasionally looking back at you to make sure both of you were going to greet him.

It’s rather funny how he went to a shelter to get a big dog for his "bro's" adventures and came back with a cat that demanded to be picked up and rocked in his arms while he prepared dinner. Even funnier is how he accepted it. Now your camera phone is full of pictures and videos of Levi humming lullabies, sleeping with a cat on top of him, or holding her up in the air so she can hunt a moth.

A little bit jealous? Perhaps. Sometimes, Levi seems more eager to greet the fluffy cat when he gets home than he is to greet you. But being able to give an elderly cat a second chance was a better experience than anything else.

Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @i-literally-cant-with-this @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @s0meb0dy-0nce-t0ld-me @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @flxrartsstuff @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @katharinasdiaryy @ackermanswifee Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

brilliant minds episode feat. SUSAN BAY NIMOY are you kidding me thoughts

ah, a timeskip in the flashbacks! now wolf is an Older Teen who is Different From The Others—at first you think because he’s got his nose in a medical textbook all the time, but then you look at the very heterosexual group of peers he’s distant from and realize that if he didn’t know as a younger teen, he definitely knows by now that he’s gay

“heartbeats,” oh man! a little anachronistic, but it’s a good mood-setting song for this sequence

(i do think dating a member of the family hosting you in a foreign country is a bad move, independent of the risk of period-typical homophobia. obviously not the primary concern for anyone in this scene, ijs.)

and the patient of focus is an elderly woman who has become very sexually active since her husband’s death. her sons finding this “inappropriate” is laughable to me, but i recognize that this is because i’ve heard too many “STDs run rampant in nursing homes because elderly heterosexuals don’t use protection and are rarely monogamous” stories on this cursed website

tangentially related: why tf do the sons think they have any say over what medications their mother takes?? they’ve been involved in the conversations about her health, yeah, but all the procedures and treatments were done with her consent. then the second wolf brings up libido enhancers they come in all “whoa now, we don’t approve of that!” and??? it’s not your call, buddy

all this to say: an episode theme of shame projected by relatives onto “inappropriate” forms of sexuality is a solid choice here.

the patient’s sons wanted their mother to gracefully transition from nonsexual maternal figure to nonsexual grandmaternal figure, never acknowledging her personhood independent of that connection to them and theirs; wolf’s mother wanted to keep him an innocent child, free from the dangers of gay adulthood that she had witnessed in her practice. eternal mother, eternal child, dehumanizing either way. i’m glad both groups seem to have moved on from that way of thinking by end of episode.

wolf thinking his mom said something to scare nichols off, and all she said was “don’t hurt him”?? god, nichols what is wrong with you (affectionate)

wolf and nichols were so cute prior to that moment! that embarrassing early days all over each other eagerness (in your workplace? multiple times?? where your mother also works??? if i didn’t already know wolf was a big risk-taker…), but also being able to tease each other over silly little things like utensil preferences? cute.

and then! “pain is inevitable, but so is joy”? i mean, i disagree—as someone who has been deeply depressed for over half my life, i don’t think joy is inevitable, i think it’s something you have to seek out and grab on to—but damn it’s a good line. (followed by the return of “heartbeats,” aw! falling fast are we, wolf?)

indirect spock reference my beloved! (i mean, with susan as the guest star you gotta, right?)

i am worried about carol’s stalker patient storyline. your husband cheated, went no contact with her, and then she looked you up online and became your patient?? girl. you cannot let this continue! even if she threatens to do something to herself as a result of you removing yourself from her care team! especially then, god damn, are you new? if patients threaten their lives there are steps to take.

also talk to your husband about this, he needs to know girl is escalating

dana’s expression is so delighted when the patient’s two boyfriends come to visit. i love her.

i really do not know how to feel about intern love triangle developments this episode. 1. imo the ericka → jacob feelings came out of nowhere, totally unexplained, and they continue to be presented in the most boring way possible (someone else says something sexual or romantic, cut to a longing look from ericka). 2. the twist at the end was fun but i have no idea what it means. is ericka using van? did she actually have a crush on him the whole time and pretended to pine over jacob to keep van from finding out? does she like both of them?? the messiness is unexpected of ericka, and i could be into it for that reason alone, but i need more info. maybe next episode will provide!

[coeurcanelle]

☆Baby,the stars shine bright☆pt3

pt1,pt2, pt4,pt5

inspired by the 'kamikaze girls',♡ always had unconditional love for lolita fashion and nothing else but when she met ellie,an auburn haired girl whos part of a gang with a dad's fashion sense ,her love for clothes begins to compete with her growing feelings for ellie

strangers to friends to lovers,love-hate friendship,ellie is into reader♡ but reader♡ shows no interest (in the beginning),opposite aesthetics,early 2000s

wlw,fluff

wc:4k

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆

Her name is Ellie. She's been with her gang for a year now, and her favorite activity is driving through the city with her friends at night. She revealed she only has one parental figure, not her biological father but a father figure, which explains her taste in fashion.

Ellie somewhat resembles you more than your dad when you think about it. Both of you are the same age and spend most of your time doing things you enjoy, although she's more of a night owl while you're a morning person. Her favorite color is black, whereas yours is pink. She enjoys hanging out with people she bonds with, while you prefer solitude.

"Last Christmas with Joel, we decided to try decorating our house with cool lights, so we bought them and spent the evening displaying them all over the facade. We even got a little Santa with his reindeers and placed them on the roof. It looked really cool. But the next morning, everything was gone," Ellie admitted, implying she was just as reckless as you, but you disagreed.

"That's not just bad luck; you're just cursed."

Thieves weren't uncommon in the area, but catching them was difficult, as you were learning the hard way. That's why Ellie offered you a hand, claiming she had nothing else to do, although she felt bad for you. She didn't say it aloud, but she appreciated that you didn't accuse her of stealing your purse, and she would never forget that.

That is all you managed to get from her as you wandered around your isolated village looking for the thief that stole your purse.

You felt like a desperate mother searching for her lost child in the middle of nowhere. You could laugh at how desperate both you and Ellie looked, asking every single person you came across if they'd seen your precious item. But, with the luck you had, you were nowhere close to getting it back. Everyone gave you the same nerve-wracking answer: "sorry, I didn't see anything around, but if I do, I'll tell you right away".You were losing your patience by the minute, and Ellie could feel it.

"They all sound suspicious repeating the same thing",you sighed as you ranted. Yes, you were to blame, but no matter who it was, you were going to make them pay, a million times the price of your bag. There was no way you could let them get away with this.

"It's not like theyre actually going to say they stole it"

Both of you stopped walking, not only because you were tired but also because you had searched pretty much everywhere in this village. The clouds were hiding the sun, darkening the ground beneath, like your aura losing its brilliant colors and giving room to the darker ones brought by despair.

The only thing you could do was cry, but you were even too tired to shed tears. "I'm done."

Giving up was an option, but it wasn't part of Ellie's nature. "Maybe they don't live in this area."

"I dropped it in front of my house, and it's a small village in the middle of nowhere. How is it that out of nowhere, a thief popped up to get it?" Despite replaying this scene countless times, the lack of clues wasn't getting you anywhere. You started to wonder how someone could even do this to anyone; you wouldn't wish that upon your worst enemy.

It was just a purse, but you carried your wallet and your ID card with it!

It was becoming a serious matter

"maybe because thieves dont come out of nowhere, you're not thinking hard enough"

"are you saying I'm like a thief magnet or something ?"

ellie looked at you up and down not knowing if she was supposed to act surprise at your remark"how much did your purse even cost?"

she made you answer your own question confirming you were indeed a thief magnet,by dropping you purse you had actually dropped 5000 bucks on the ground !

who the hell puts that much money for a bag? Ellie thought

"that's not bad luck,you're just stupid," you could tell she had been restraining herself from saying this for so long, but you couldn't blame her.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

One more thing you would have never guessed about Ellie is how intelligent she actually was.

The thought of taking the train to go to Tokyo to find anyone selling your precious item, where you can target a big crowd of people, hadn't crossed your mind until Ellie brought it up.

You assumed your brain was badly functioning from the lack of reward after working so hard to find the thief. You have been walking around for what seemed like a lifetime to find nothing but more exhaustion enveloping you.

It made you wonder how the freckled-faced girl in front of you looked still full of energy.

Maybe she was just excited to beat up someone; after all, it might be just another normal day for her.

Most of the time, you'd find yourself enlightened walking around Japan's capital city, but under those circumstances, your mood couldn't get any better.

"It kinda looks similar," Ellie pointed at a purse displayed in a convenience store. She was trying her best to help you after gave her a precise description of your purse. Unfortunately, she has a very poor imagination.

"Not even close."

The weather became cloudier as you and Ellie wandered around, looking at everyone suspiciously. It was going to start raining, but Ellie had spotted places where you could stay since you didn't have an umbrella.

You only accepted when you came across a cute coffee shop.

🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆🫖☆

With Baroque paintings displayed on the rock walls, the smell of menthol perfumed the whole place, and jazz played softly on speakers, you couldn't help but already fall in love with this place.

Ellie sat across from you, repeatedly trying to light up her joint, ignoring the 'smoking is forbidden' sign in front of the shop.

Silently, you sipped the hot tea, letting the aroma amplify once it touched your tongue. You didn't need much to be happy. Certainly, you didn't need Ellie to smoke in front of you, blowing some of it your way. The poor girl failed to catch your attention away from your tea, feeling ignored.

You kept silently drinking your tea, cherishing your daily tea time, closing your eyes to quiet your worried thoughts for a moment. The motorcycle girl took out her joint and lit it up again; the flicking sound was starting to annoy you.

You opened your eyes to her taking a puff from her nose

"stop that"

even though you were slightly annoyed she managed to get your attention back to herself

"man im just trying to lighten up the mood"ellie said after blowing the smoke out of her nostrils proudly.

You liked the smell of cigarettes, and though you didn't smoke, you could tell she was, in fact, not smoking one. That's why you refused when she proposed you take a puff.

Instead of convincing you, she tried to impress you by taking another puff with her other nostril.

"Seriously, do you get paid to be a clown?" you asked, trying to annoy her, as you lifted up your cup to drink more tea.

"I thought about it, but I'd lose my job if they ever hired you," you almost choked on the tea, making Ellie laugh so hard she put a hand on her stomach. You had just confirmed what she had said as she watched you cough, almost coughing your lungs out.

"Was it the weed that was making Ellie stop taking everything personally?

"I'll charge you with attempted murder," you said, rolling your eyes at the girl in front of you.

After a while, Ellie's rambles attracted all your focus away from the taste of the tea and the jazz music playing, but you weren't complaining as she was interesting to listen to. The reason she bought a jacket similar to the her other ones was that her gang was organizing a festival, and it was coming soon, she wanted to look brand new. All she needed was to find a local designer to write the name of her gang. The money she had came from her dad and giving guitar lessons, which surprised you; you didn't expect her to be an artist.

A new side of her was shown to you as she kept rambling. You noticed how she scratched her neck every now and then, the way she would speed up her speech when she gets excited, and when she'd stutter a bit when you were keeping eye contact. She stopped talking after realizing she's been the only one talking, but you truthfully didn't mind.

"so when's the last time you killed someone ?" you asked making the girl in front of you confused

Ellie discovered a new side of you too; you were more of a listener than a talker, and for a person like her who likes to ramble, it was a win for her.

"I said I'm from a gang, not that I'm a local serial killer," Ellie explained. The Ellie you would have just met would have answered defensively, but her tone was rather sarcastic. She was bearable when she didn't take everything personally.

It was true that many gangs out there have blood on their hands, killing their opponents but also innocent citizens. But Ellie didn't share the same values and joined a gang you've never heard of before.

"I joined Dina's gang after trying to run away from home. I didn't know how to fight at the time; she taught me everything. I owe it all to her." The more you talked, the more questions you had. The conversation easily switched from carefree to serious.

The deadly gangs you would hear about were the ones targeted by Ellie's gang, which is motivated by values of respect and loyalty rather than free violence. That is why you've never heard of it, because most gangs are like the ones your father was once in.

This also explains why ellie is still following you around helping you to find your stolen purse,but this also makes you wonder....

"why did you run away?"

Suddenly, Ellie realized she had been oversharing quite a lot, but it's not her fault that you have such a trusting aura!

Getting better at reading Ellie, you realized you touched a sensitive subject and looked away from her, back at your now-empty cup of tea, trying to change the subject. "i'm still wondering though..." You recalled the letter you received from Ellie, the one with childlike writing.

"how did you discover where I live?" You didn't forget how Ellie mentioned she would meet you at your house instead of you going up to hers, but maybe that's because, in this case, you would have thought it was a trap and you wouldn't come there. You thought about this, but it still doesn't unravel the mystery of her knowing exactly where you live, which was kind of unsettling.

"wasn't hard. I just followed your dad after he was done selling in Tokyo." The casual tone in her answer just made the whole thing even more unsettling. You wondered if it was just the weed and hoped she was lying.

"you mean you stalked my dad?" You asked, hoping you were the one hearing wrong.

"how is that stalking? I just followed him to your house, but not like that..." Ellie tried to explain rationally but made things even worse, confirming you had been hearing perfectly.

"girl, did you drop out of kindergarten? That IS stalking. Why would you do that?" You were absolutely at a loss for words. More confused than upset, you knew Ellie didn't mean to harm anyone, but her way of using rational thinking was still questionable.

Ellie sighed,she didnt know how to explain this while sounding sane"first of all shut up I didnt drop out,I just wanted to know where I could get clothes from him thats all"

thats all ?

"you were literally going to beat me up when I showed up instead of him",you said raising your eyebrows,you werent even upset you just wanted to tease her

"no-omg-okay maybe.. but everything turned out fine"the auburn haired girl stuttered as she scratched her neck again,you noted she'd do this when nervous

"i should call the cops on you wtf"

ellie looked up at you,with a stupid smirk on her face"you need me you cant do that"

You played along, pretending to be upset as you got up and started to leave. However, Ellie felt bad, interpreting your sarcasm as seriousness, and grabbed your arm as she started to apologize for stalking your dad.

"I was just going to pay for the tea," you said, but Ellie got up instead, doing it for you.

You hadn't expected her to take your playful act seriously, but it was kind of hilarious.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

It was true that you needed her help to catch whoever stole your bag. She knew how to fight, and she did look scary to people. You could already imagine the scumbag surrendering and giving back your precious item... but then again, this looked way too easy.

After your tea time and Ellie's smoking session, you went for another round of walking, looking for your purse.

"She's probably wearing a blue frilly dress like you, because your bag is blue. I guess she wanted to match."

"I've never seen another lolita girl in my hometown," you might not have any clues, but you might have a lead.You told Ellie it might be an average mid-30s man who happens to know the worth of your purse but Ellie was reluctant.

However, you finally decided to file a report of your stolen purse to the police, hoping they would do a better job at catching the thief. After doing so, you walked outside where Ellie was leaning on a wall, smoking again. She remained calm despite the fact that you didn't catch the thief.

"You know what? I'm convinced we're living in a simulation, and that none of this is real. We might be aliens sent from Mars, or maybe we're re-experiencing past life memories, or maybe we're just in some deep coma we have to wake up from."

Although you didn't smoke, you seemed more high than Ellie. "never try smoking."

How was she still happy enough to make jokes despite how awful this situation is making you feel?

"maybe its a life lesson,I should stop buying expensive things from now on"

"oh c'mon its really not that deep,you dont like your purse anymore or something?"

"It's not that-"

"if you can buy one you can buy another one",ellie walked up to you after tossing her joint on the floor giving it a few stomps to put out the burn

"do you think money grows on trees or something ?"

Ellie looked you up and down, from your embroidered white headband to your 'Alice and the Pirates' frilly dress and your white platform boots. She didn't see your outfit as just a simple ensemble, but rather a bag full of gold, ready to be converted into money.

"hell no, don't even think about that," you said firmly. No matter how difficult things could get, you would rather be killed than sell any of the clothes you own. It was like reselling Christmas gifts; you grew emotionally attached to those priceless dresses.

"I knew you'd say no. I was just joking," Ellie said before both of you went on to another activity:getting money to buy a similar purse. Cleaning people's shoes, betting on the three shell games, pickpocketing... You realized getting money in Tokyo wasn't that hard, but none of these options appealed to you for now.

You had to find something that would certainly get you money.

Ellie walked beside you, looking around too. You wondered if she was joking around because she was high or just letting her guard down. Either way, you didn't mind her being this way.. She had stopped spitting and approaching you like she was going to headbutt you after you got to know each other better.

"how about this?" ellie stopped and pointed at a building as she looked at you with a smirk

"I have enough trouble as it is, adding more isn't something I'm interested in," you replied. Wasn't it obvious that you've never been into criminal activity before? So why was she thinking about robbing a whole bank?

The sigh that escaped Ellie was one of pure disappointment, though she was half-joking. But that changed once you stopped by an eating contest.

"Spicy food contest, winner gets $100," both you and Ellie read on a large poster placed on a table. A few chairs were arranged around the table, and your eyes followed some people seated in front of a chef's hat. Only two chairs were unoccupied. You looked at Ellie, unsure if she would agree, but she instantly read your mind.

"I've eaten spicy food before, it's no big deal."

Your energy shifted to competitive mode; there was no way you could consider losing, but if you did, you hoped Ellie had your back."what kind of spicy food, though?"

"just trust me, it's a piece of cake," the auburn-haired girl said before stretching her arms and neck as if she was preparing for a fight. She wasn't considering losing either.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Already 2 minutes in, Ellie's face was red from the spiciness. The contest consisted of eating a whole plate of different spicy foods under 5 minutes. From noodles to chicken wings, Ellie felt like her tongue was on fire!

Milk wasn't enough to calm down Ellie; she felt like drinking a whole river.

You, on the other hand, were handling it pretty well; your grandma used to give you a bottle of Tabasco to punish you as a kid, so this was nothing compared to what you had experienced.

Maybe pain does make you strong?

"Time's up! Everyone, open your mouth!"

With luck and a little bit of courage, your plate was entirely empty with no crumbs left compared to other contestants. Some even tried to cheat by hiding their food under the table, but it still didn't stop you from winning!

The man who organized the contest congratulated you and rewarded you after cleaning up the table. Ellie looked at you in absolute shock; she also felt kind of humiliated after what she had told you, but at least you got what you came for.

"It's just spicy food, no big deal, yeah?" You couldn't help but tease Ellie about it. The confident look on her face vanished from the moment she started to eat the spicy chicken; she wasn't even looking at you, embarrassed.

"shut up, I was close to beating you." You just laughed at her words; her face was still a bit red from eating. You counted up the money you had, only a few bucks, and you could buy yourself a new purse!

"wanna go for another round then?" The auburn girl stayed silent and responded with a violent side-eye. You understood you had to find another way to get money rather than eating spicy food...

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Ellie convinced you to bet the $100 you won on the three shell game after refusing multiple times. It turns out she didn't lie when she said she was good at seeing through those scams.

"I used to learn magic tricks when I was 10," she told you, and you didn't need to know what for after she got your money doubled up. Only a few bucks were left, and an idea popped up in your mind as you and Ellie kept walking in Tokyo: "why don't you bring your guitar and play here?"

The thought of playing in front of everyone was making Ellie nervous, not because she was bad or anything, but she didn't want to come across a potential enemy of her gang. She had to keep her tough image, especially in the streets.

"uh, I'm still learning, and I never practiced in front of a big crowd," Ellie lied, but you kept insisting.

"come on, are you really that bad? You said you've been playing since you were a child"

Despite your insistence, it didn't have the same effect on Ellie as it had on your dad.

"It doesn't mean I play like a professional; plus, there are many other ways to get money," Ellie kept giving you reasons, but you finally stopped insisting. In fact, you didn't need to get money anymore to buy a new bag...

You finally found it!

Ellie noticed the change in your expression and wondered what was going on, so she followed the direction of your gaze.

There it was, shining bright like a diamond, as blue as the sky, begging to be back in its place. It was an average man with a long beard in his mid-30s, carrying it as he walked in front of you.

Ellie turned her head to look back at you, silently asking, 'Do you want me to take care of him?' But you didn't want to leave this to Ellie. You felt rage building up inside you along with a sense of relief; you had to make him pay.

You ran towards the man who was walking in front of you, hoping to catch him before he disappeared again. The sound of your platform boots approaching made him turn his head in curiosity before you jumped on him. Both of you fell hard to the floor; his head hit the ground while his hands were still clutching your purse.

You snatched it out of his hands, not caring about hurting him. You were more hurt than he was after what he's done. The look of pity on his face made your blood boil. He even had the audacity to reach for your purse again!

"It's mine, you fucking dumbass bitch. Try to ever steal from me again and I'll slit your throat open until you bleed to death. You can have fun stealing other people's bags in hell." You spat on his face after stomping his stomach, releasing all the anger you've been carrying.

This man needed to be humbled.

You've always been told to fight back. If someone hits you, you should hit harder. And if the person hitting you still has the audacity to hurt you, you didn't hit hard enough.

The man finally stopped trying to get back your purse as he was busy spitting blood. You stopped hitting him, considering that was enough karma for him.

You had to let him know you weren't a person to mess with.

Despite your brilliant and cute clothes, a wise soul and a strong character were hidden within, one that despised being bothered.

You walked away from the man, making sure your purse still had your personal belongings, unaware that your scene had attracted the attention of the people around. You approached Ellie, who was once again at a loss for words.

The girl also walked up to you. "how can you even run in those?" She pointed at your shoes.

"practice, I guess," you shrugged your shoulders before taking Ellie's hand. You didn't know where to go, but you definitely didn't want to stay in the eyes of the people who had witnessed you beating up a 30-year-old man.

You began to walk, dragging Ellie with you, but she stopped. "wait."

You were met with confusion and dropped her hand

Was she scared or something?

Ellie was also bad at reading people, but you made things even worse for her. You were like a book with covers that didn't match the atmosphere of the story, but the side of you that you had just shown got her hooked.

Suddenly, you heard the sounds of motorcycles roaring nearby. You had attracted a whole gang!

They were all girls wearing the same jacket as Ellie's, no helmets, no weapons, but they were still radiating an intimidating yet powerful energy. Their motorcycles stopped just behind Ellie, and you felt the girls' intimidating gaze on you. You looked at Ellie, wondering what was happening.

Ellie didn't even need to turn around to know that it was her gang. She kept looking at you.

"why don't you join me?"

[shyphonics]

Salad Days, Chapter 6: Just You and Me, Punk Rock Girl

(Rodrick Heffley x reader)

chapter directory here

Light sex warning for the beginning- 18+ plz

This chapter took me a while - I wrote the beginning the same night I wrote the first and second chapters. Then I realized I think I'm more comfortable writing horrific and sad moments than sweet moments and I kinda froze trying to fill the plot in around it lol.

Thank you so much to everyone reading this!!! The fact that it's actually getting notes makes me really, really happy :)

Also this chapter's run of songs contains a secret song in the spotify playlist oooooh

Oh my mama mama mo-my-mum

Have you kept an eye, an eye on your son?

I know you've got problems, you're not the only one

Since your sugar left, left you on the run

The gas cans felt good in his hands. Heavy. Smooth plastic snug in his fingers. His grip was tight. He reveled in the sound of the liquid sloshing around. The unmistakable smell.

Everybody fucking hated him. Every second of every day, he felt like his brain was on fire. A full body burn begging him to get out.

Get out now.

It's not like anyone was inside. The old library had been gutted weeks ago. They were supposed to demolish it next week. If he really thought about it… he was doing them a favor.

Yeah. So do it. Who gives a fuck.

He busted a window and stuck his leg inside, stepping into the decayed, old building. It smelled like dust. It smelled like school.

Stupid Frank and Susan.

Stupid Heather Hills.

Stupid Rodrick. Going nowhere, doing nothing, being nothing. Stupid.

The smell was strong, but he liked it.

He grinned, he nearly hyperventilated as he doused as much as he could.

Dizzy in his head, laughing maniacally

Breathing in fumes, killing brain cells.

What did it matter.

He shook the last drops out of the second can and tossed it across the room.

He struck a match. Let it burn out.

Struck another. Toss.

The fire erupted.

He stood there to watch it for a second, and ducked back out the window.

He knew he wouldn't have much time to admire his work, so he started running.

Deep into the woods.

He stopped and saw a ball of flames rise in the distance. The ground rumbled. His eyes went wide. He ran all the way home.

Nobody even knew he was gone. He'd left music playing in his room so it'd sound like he never left.

He watched the living room from the top of the stairs. A news report was on.

The library was directly on top of an open gas line. No fucking kidding.

Half the street went up in flames.

It's not like there was much on that street anyway, besides a strip mall with one or two active tenants. Closed for the night. No injuries reported.

His mom was crying. His dad was in shock. Greg and Manny were already asleep.

How could something like this happen? his mom whispered.

They're saying it was just some freak accident. They can't put it out. It's going to burn straight down to the foundation. Frank, incredulous.

Rodrick was silent.

~

Words to memorize

Words hypnotize

Words make my mouth exercise

Words all fail the magic prize

Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs

“Hey,” a cool hand on his face, “where are you? Are you okay?”

He’s sent flying back to reality suddenly, looking up into your eyes. He looks frazzled. He’s not sure where that came from. All he knows is that he can never tell you.

“I'm fine,” he breathes, his hands moving to your hips, squeezing. Like he’s making sure you’re real.

How could he not be fine? The realization of what's going on hits him like a brick and he squeezes you harder.

He looks up at you like you're a goddess. Hips perfectly situated on his, eyes glinting in the low light of your bedroom. Every subtle movement you make sends a twitch through his body. Breath hitching through plush pink lips, mouth agape.

“I'm fucking amazing,” he sighs.

“Okay, good. Thought I lost you for a second.” you smile, placing a hand on his chest. His heart is racing.

You move your hips, just a little, testing the water.

He throws his head back and huffs, moving with you. He always figured that this- all of this- would be good, but he never dreamed it would be this good. It must be something special about you, he thinks.

You keep smiling down at him.

“If you wanna pick it up a little bit, go ahead,”

“P-pick it up?”

You raise yourself up off him a little, and then send yourself back down. He shudders, a grin spreading across his face. You keep it up, laughing softly, slowly bouncing up and down, skin slapping skin. Obscene, wet sounds. A groan comes from deep within his throat. He's thrusting up to meet you, knuckles white on your hips.

You haven’t had an impressive amount of sex in your life, but you’ve certainly had some experiences. Nothing has ever been like this. Rodrick is looking at you- not your body- he’s looking into your eyes. His eye contact has a sense of pleading, his lips are trembling. You lean down to kiss him. It’s tender. It’s intimate. You’d figured he’d be quick and chaotic. Experienced, maybe, but not learned.

Everything just feels so good.

His hands are gentle on your back, rubbing up around your shoulder blades. You feel his hips roll, and it sends waves of heat through your body. You keep a slow and passionate pace together, it feels like your bodies are perfectly in tune with each other.

“I can't believe that you… I…” Rodrick breathes, his brain turned to mush.

“I know,” a sharp breath leaves you as he hits a certain spot.

You speed up, both of you seeming to know what you need. Your bodies glisten with sweat, and you throw your head back, hands anchored to his shoulders. His hands move up to your chest, gently squeezing, then ghosting down your ribcage. His hands- so large, so strong. They’re slightly weathered, calloused from his drumsticks, and they’re so warm. His bony hips poke into your thighs with every thrust. You can just feel him. All of him.

Then you feel him twitch inside of you.

“I think I…” Rodrick gasps.

You look down at him, your eyes warm, reassuring him. You feel close too, still warmed up from earlier. He ruts up into you, flushed and panting. You feel yourself squeeze around him, your vision blurring slightly, as a rush of tingles runs through your whole body, and that seems to send him over the edge. He stops suddenly, breathing heavily, holding your hip down onto his, the other cupping your face. His eyes squeeze shut, then open wide, and roll back into his head.

You both sit and recover for a second, gasping for air, looking at each other. You roll off of him, and lay next to him, exhausted. He reaches out desperately to grab your thigh, as you turn to your side and throw your arm over his chest. You reach up and feel his cheek. His skin is hot, and slightly stubbled.

“I’m glad I didn’t wait.”

“You were gonna wait?” He pants.

“I don’t usually do that. That fast. But now I know.”

“Know what?” He turns his head to look at you, eyes tired.

“That I really, definitely like you.”

He laughs, pulling you closer to his chest and kissing the top of your head.

“I really, definitely like you too.”

You wriggle the comforter out from underneath you, and throw it over the both of you. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off, hands on each other, legs tangled.

For the first time in a long time, Rodrick dreams of absolutely nothing.

~

I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand

Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

Lose sensations, spare the insults, save them for another day

I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away

~

Rodrick wakes up before you, lifting his head in confusion at his unfamiliar surroundings. Until he feels your arm draped over him, and remembers where he is. It’s still early, and you’re dead asleep. He smiles, pulling you closer to him. He gazes over your face, lit up in the early morning light. You stir, coming to rest your head on his bare chest, and he’s so happy he could cry.

“Go back to sleep,” you mumble.

He does.

You wake once the sun is all the way up, blinking at the beams coming in through your window. Rodrick has an iron hold on you, and little snores are coming from him.

You can see your alarm clock from where you are, and it’s a little after 9 AM.

You turn slightly onto your back, and feel Rodrick moving.

“You up?” You look over at him. His eyelids are heavy, and there’s a lazy smile on his face.

“I’m up,” he sighs.

“Glad you didn’t sneak out on me.” You chuckle.

“Why would I do that?” His voice is sleepy, and a little whiny.

“I don’t know. Boys are weird.”

He gives you one last squeeze before he lets you up.

“You wanna shower?” You ask, running a hand through your hair.

The water is warm, and you can finally see Rodrick’s lanky body in all its glory. Steam fills the bathroom, and his face is slightly flushed.

“So, last night,” Rodrick stretches under the stream of water. You find yourself admiring the lightly defined muscles in his back, and fighting the urge to smack his ass. Maybe later.

“What about it?” You smirk, squeezing some body wash onto a washcloth.

“It was… real? Like, it happened, right?” He turns around, eyebrow raised, grinning smugly.

“As far as I'm aware,” you laugh, beginning to scrub yourself.

Rodrick pauses, water running down his shoulders.

“Wow,” he smiles, then his face falters just a little, “and… you enjoyed it?”

You give him a look, wringing out your washcloth. Instead of answering him, you just step forward and kiss him, warm water flowing over you. Your hands travel over his body, slick with water and soap. You pull away.

“Duh.” You smile.

You dry off. Rodrick's wet hair is wild, and he still has a little bit of eyeliner on.

He grabs his clothes from the night before, and you stop him.

“Are you sure about that?”

He freezes, holding his boxers with the tips of his fingers, like a deer in the headlights.

“I can… turn ‘em inside out,”

“Ew. I have clothes you can wear,” you laugh, “boxers make good pajamas, and most bands don't really make women's shirts.”

“Really?”

You toss him a pair of plain, black boxers, then get an idea. You head to your closet, where you keep your band merch.

“Y'know what? I'm returning the favor. You look like a medium.” You root through the box, and toss him a shirt with your band’s logo on the front. He holds it up to himself and smiles. You find your Löded Diper shirt, discarded along with your purse by the front door, and put it on. As you come back, he's pulling the boxers on, and you take your chance.

Smack.

“Hey!” he yelps, turning to face you, blushing just a little.

He sees your shirt, and a giddy grin appears on his face.

You find yourself at the coffee shop across the street, sitting on the little patio. The streets are packed with groups of people, enjoying the spring day. Rodrick mangles a croissant as you sip from a large, white mug. You appreciate the fact that the two of you can sit in a comfortable silence like this. You flip through the local alt paper, The Eye.

“Ooh, there's a Pyramid show tonight, my friend’s band is playing. That'd be a good place to show you. They have an entire wall of pinball machines.”

“Are you friends with all the bands?” Rodrick asks, pouring 4 packets of sugar into his coffee at once.

“Not all of them. But a lot of them. I try to network.” You shrug, reading through the event calendar.

“All the major bars are kind of in one strip, with a few outliers. Then you have your DIYs and house venues.”

Rodrick sips his coffee, makes a face, and adds 2 more sugar packets.

“Do you think we have a chance at any of them?”

“You guys are gonna have good word of mouth after last night,” you nod, “I bet in a week you'll have an offer from Pyramid or Dime Store.”

“Wow,” Rodrick breathes, assuming that must be really good.

“It looked like your guys got along with everyone, too, and Mike likes you. You've got a great start. You might even get to open for a real band once they start coming in the summer.” You smile at him, looking up from the paper.

“We are a real band,” he looks confused.

“Yeah, but, y'know. A touring band. The Casualties are coming back this summer… Circle Jerks usually run through with Descendents once a year, D.R.I. has been on a ‘retirement tour’ for the past few years,” you say, adding air quotes, “your name's on the opener list now. And most of the time, picking someone from that list falls to me… but don't expect any obvious nepotism. I try to match people up by sound.”

Rodrick grins, stars in his eyes.

“Do any bands around here, um,” he pauses, unsure how to word it, “make it?”

“Sometimes,” you lean back, thinking, “it's hard nowadays. There was this super popular indie band last year. They got picked up to be on a movie soundtrack, and they're huge now. That's what sells, these days. I'll let you work out the irony of indie selling.” You smirk.

“So, what? Heavier bands are just shit out of luck?” He takes another sip of his sugary coffee.

“That's how it goes,” you shrug, “you give up most of the hope of being famous to be a real musician. There's a reason that even huge punk bands are still just playing at bars instead of stadiums. It was never marketable. Punk’s not even a genre anymore. To me, it's having the attitude of ‘I’m pissed off, and I'm making it your problem.”

Rodrick laughs, “Okay, I do like that.”

You finish the last of your coffee, and roll up your paper, tucking it in your bag.

“You ready?” You stand up, stretching.

“For what?” he looks at you, draining his mug.

“I'm gonna show you the strip, rookie.”

You smile, holding your hand out, and he takes it.

“The Strike’s back that way, you’ve already seen it. There’s a pretty big gap of old shops and abandoned buildings from here to there.”

You lead him down the street, pointing out bars. Most of them will be closed until the late afternoon.

“There’s Pyramid, there’s Dime store. That one’s cool, the upstairs is a drag bar called Fluorescence, and the downstairs is a dive called Dim Bulb.”

Rodrick laughs, taking in the sights of the street.

“First time I ever came down here, I was with a bunch of friends who were 21, and I was still 19. Dim Bulb is all ages if you put the X’s on your hands, but Fluorescence is strictly 21+. My friends went upstairs. Downstairs was dead that night. They told me to wait in the bar and not go off walking by myself, but…”

“You went off walking by yourself?” Rodrick smirks at you.

“How’d you know?” You chuckle, “Yeah, and I had just gotten these leather pants, and I felt so fucking cool. But I was so stupid. And this gross, old guy stopped me and asked if I was ‘working’, and I said ��no, fuck off, get away from me’,” you say, your tone nonchalant.

Rodrick raises his eyebrows, his mouth falling open.

“So, he starts chasing me down the street, yelling, ‘I’ll kill you’, and I was yelling back all this bullshit, just totally bluffing,”

You stop in front of a bodega along the street.

“And the guy who owns this place came out and scared the guy off. He’s good people.”

You wave at the man inside, who perks up and waves back.

“That place has everything. 9-volt batteries, first aid stuff, you name it. If you find yourself in a jam, head over there.”

Rodrick looks through the windows as you walk by.

“This whole street is, like… a tiny little town all on its own. Also, I'm glad you didn't get murdered.”

“Yeah,” you sigh out, looking over the strip, feeling proud, “it really is. I love it here. I’m glad I could show you around. And thanks.” You laugh, squeezing his hand.

You keep walking, down towards the point where the bars end and the shops begin. Rodrick walks slowly, swinging his hand with yours. He keeps his head on a swivel, trying to take in all there is to see. Old neon signs, graffiti-covered brick walls, and show fliers absolutely everywhere.

“I think you’re gonna like this place,” you turn to look back at Rodrick, who looks absolutely awestruck.

The bell on the record store door rings, and you're greeted by the familiar woman behind the counter, Jennifer. She’s tall and muscular, with a smoker’s voice, and impeccably curled baby bangs.

Rodrick stops as the door closes behind him. It’s a cozy, dark little room. There are houseplants everywhere, among long boxes of records on high tables. The walls are exposed brick, and light is coming in through two long, skinny windows. An orange cat rests on one of the tables, in a sunbeam. The walls are completely covered in posters, framed records, and old fliers.

“It's you! I have pulls for you,” she looks over thick-rimmed glasses at you, reaching under the counter, then sees your shirt, “what in the hell is that?”

You look down at the bold, white letters on your shirt and laugh.

“Best new band in this town. You really haven't heard of them?” You say, teasingly.

“Diaper…?” she squints, looking at you, bewildered.

“I'm just messing with you, they played their first show last night. This is the drummer, Rodrick,” you gesture to Rodrick. He approaches the counter and sticks out his hand, smiling politely.

Jennifer looks back to your shirt, then at Rodrick.

“Kid, I'll level with you. There are worse names out there.” She barks out a laugh, looking down at her hands, both being used to hold a stack of records.

Rodrick notices, and retracts his hand, laughing nervously.

You kill about an hour in the shop, looking at all the things Jennifer has hidden for you over the week. It was once a very kind thing she did when you were flat broke and new in town, but she kept it up as a tradition, because she said you got it.

Rodrick exhausts each box, looking in amazement at all the different records. 'Dad Rock,' 'Punk Rock,' 'Rockabilly,' 'Psychobilly,' 'Synth Shit for Weirdos.'

The ‘misc.’ box contains a Jane Fonda home workout, a square dancing instructional record, and a full album of canine heartbeats, meant for veterinary students. Rodrick pulls it out and looks at it, reading the cover in confusion.

“See something cool?” You perk up and walk over to him, reading the record.

“Canine Heart Sounds? Is that a band?” You squint. He stays quiet, holding in a laugh.

“‘4-10 acquired murmurs', what the fuck?”

You see the text for ‘Berkeley Medical Veterinary Group’ and let out a cackle, lightly punching Rodrick on the shoulder. He breaks too, putting the record back in the box.

“You totally thought I was all cool and underground for a second.” Rodrick laughs.

You leave the record shop, and you decide to take him to see everything. You try on leather jackets way beyond your means at the biker shop, spiked collars at the goth shop, and hats at the western shop. You point and laugh at each other the whole way, except that some of that leather had looked pretty good on Rodrick… and he might’ve thought the same about you.

By late afternoon, you’re both a little worn out, and you wind up back near where you started, at a tall, yellow building. It’s an ancient pizza joint.

Inside is a massive, wooden staircase, and yellow walls covered in sharpie graffiti. Dumb little messages, from mystery people. From who knows how long ago. It feels like a million little voices yelling at him all at once.

Penelope was here!

Aaron is a cheating douchebag!

George Dubya, suck my dick!

And band names. So many band names.

“Whoa,” Rodrick looks up. It’s even on the ceiling.

You lead him to a large window, with a greyed, wooden frame.

You fish in your purse and find a sharpie, handing it to him.

“When we first started the band, we came here to make it official. I wrote our name, right here, under the window.” You look down, away from him, feeling a little sappy.

Rodrick looks at the smooth, black writing.

The Shrieks

10.15.03

He smiles.

“And, if you’ll notice, there’s an empty space right there next to it…” you say, trying to sound nonchalant.

Rodrick smiles, then crouches down, uncapping the sharpie.

He carefully draws his logo, adding the little horns and tail, with a small safety pin and the date underneath.

He stands up, handing the marker back to you. You look down at your two logos together, then up at your coordinated shirts.

“Yeah. They look great together,” you smile up at him, “now it’s official. Welcome to the scene.”

Rodrick feels a swell in his chest, looking down at your genuine smile. He’s been just a little guarded all day, but… now he gets it. You actually want him around. It’s not a joke. It’s not a trick. You’d wanted his band to be immortalized next to yours on this greasy, strangely beautiful wall.

He catches you off guard, pulling you into a tight hug. You blink once or twice, then wrap your arms around him, smiling against his chest.

“Hey!”

You pull away from each other, and turn to where the voice came from. It’s Ward, in an apron, by the counter.

“I got a job!” He’s grinning.

The two of you walk up to the counter and catch up, refusing to give him any details, no matter how much he wiggles his eyebrows.

~

So we jumped up on the table, and shouted “anarchy!”

And someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox

It was “California Dreamin’”

So we started screamin’

“On such a winter’s day!”

~

The two of you sit at your little table, the sun beginning to set outside. You’re laughing at some high school story he’d been telling you- something about how he’d been in love with some girl and ruined her sweet 16.

He pauses, taking a sip out of his glass bottle, beaming.

“God, and she was really into N’Sync, so we spent all this time learning ‘Tearin’ up my Heart’,”

You cackle, slamming your hands on the table, “Oh, god, no!”

“But last minute, I told Ben I wanted to sing, and he could play drums-”

“Can he play drums?”

“Nope!” Rodrick laughs, “And I sang in this high pitched voice- she wanted us in tuxes, but, um, I kinda wasn’t listening when my brother told me that? Also didn’t have the money. But I figured all black was good enough.”

“Did you learn any boy band moves?” You wipe away a stray tear that had escaped your eye.

“I wish. That would’ve been awesome, but, no. We did set off a bunch of pyro, and I jumped off the stage.”

“Pyro?!”

“Ben’s brother is in demolition,” Rodrick laughs, but feels a little pang of anxiety with the words that leave his lips.

You don’t notice his face change, still laughing. Rodrick grins at you, wanting to make the big reveal good.

“This family was loaded, okay? Country club rich. So, the pyro goes off, and it’s chaos. I was, like, dancing around her? And I backed up right into a giant ice sculpture of her head.”

You look at him, in shock, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, and then she tried to kill me with a mic stand, but ended up knocking over a chocolate fountain, and everyone got absolutely covered in chocolate… and then she hated me forever. Still hates me. That’s the girl from last night, by the way- my ‘girlfriend’?”

“No fucking way,” your eyes go wide. “That’s why you were staring each other down.”

Rodrick gives a satisfied nod, chuckling slightly.

“Well, I guess you learned your lesson: don’t trust the rich. First rule of punk.” You tease.

“Yeah, and if she’d actually liked it, I… I would probably be miserable,” He says, a look of realization on his face. You raise your eyebrows.

“I’d probably be at some fancy event right now wearing, like, a polo or something. Oh, god. I’d probably be working for her dad.” He looks down, eyes wide.

You boo him, giving him a thumbs down.

“I wouldn’t have met you,” He stares at you in surprise.

You smile, leaning towards him, your elbow on the table.

“I’m… so fucking glad all that bullshit back home happened,” He shakes his head, smiling, “Because now I’m here.”

“In a greasy, old pizzeria?” You smirk.

“In a greasy, old pizzeria, with you,”

You laugh, at a loss for words. Something about Rodrick seems to have bloomed today, and you like it. It’s like he finally evened out. You lean closer to him.

“I’m glad I’m here with you too,” You smile.

Your lips almost touch, but the buzzing of your cell phone interrupts you. You groan. It's Mike.

“Hey, what's up?”

“They got us! They fucking got us!”

Rodrick hears Mike screaming through the phone, and feels his heart drop.

“What? Who got us? What are you talking about?” Your heart skips a beat.

“They smashed the window! And wrote all over the walls! It's like Sharon Tate all over again!”

Your jaw drops. He's serious.

“Mike, who?”

You hear the sound of glass crunching down the line, along with Mike's enraged muttering.

“How many people did we kick out last night?” He spits.

You take a second to think.

“A lot. It got crazy.”

“Did we have to put anybody on the list?”

You make eye contact with Rodrick. His eyebrows knit together in worry.

“Yeah, there were a few.”

The List is only to be used in extreme circumstances. Any bar patrons found guilty of irredeemable asshole behavior have their IDs taken, photocopied, and returned as their asses are kicked out the front door. You're not sure how legal it is, but it's very effective.

The guy who had punched Rodrick last night, along with all of his friends, had absolutely made The List.

“I know who it was,” your voice shakes, “I’ll be right over.”

You hang up, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Did he say someone smashed the window?” Rodrick breathes in disbelief.

“Yeah,” you put your head in your hands, “do you know the name of that guy who punched you?”

“Ugh. Bryan Kent.” Rodrick frowns.

“Do you think he'd do something like that?”

“Yeah.” He says, without hesitation.

“Fuck!” You sigh, “At least we have a name.”

Rodrick looks at you, guilty, like he might cry. You feel a pang of sadness.

“No, no, sorry. Shit. Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault, I’m just pissed off.” You ramble.

The bar is like your baby. Though you’ve only worked there a year, it means a lot to you. Mike had drunkenly promised to leave it to you several times, and you feel a strong protective urge over it.

“I gotta go,” you grimace, “Should I take you home?”

He nods, looking dejected.

There are two cop cars parked outside Rodrick’s apartment building, and you notice him gripping the door handle tightly.

“Wonder what that’s about?” You murmur.

“Could you take me around the back?” Rodrick’s voice shakes.

You look at him, raising an eyebrow, but circle around back anyway.

 He opens your car door and gets out.

“Hey,” you stop him, “that was really fun. I hate that it ended this way, but… we’ll see each other again, okay? I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I… I really like you.”

“Me either.” He nods. His voice is cold, and his eyes are void of all emotion.

You know something is wrong, but you have bigger problems on your hands right now.

“Okay,” you give him a weak smile.

He grimaces, and shuts the door. You watch him walk through a grimy back entrance, and pull off.

“Rodrick, dude,” Ben looks at him with bug eyes when he walks through the door, “the fucking cops were here!”

Rodrick freezes.

“Did they leave?”

“Yeah, but they were looking for you, man.” His voice is hushed and panicked.

Rodrick checks the window, and the cop cars are gone.

“What did they say?”

“Something about your name being associated with a crime scene?”

Rodrick turns to look at him, “What?”

~

So while you sit back and wonder why

I got this fuckin’ thorn in my side

Oh my god, it’s a mirage

I’m tellin’ y’all, it’s sabotage

~

tag list: @crumpets-are-better-with-jam

[bisexualfemalemess]

*HSMTMTS SEASON 4 SPOILERS*

Question; Is it already appropriate to stop putting a spoiler warning on my posts? lmao

Anyway, Let’s talk about 4x05 specifically, Ricky’s line “Last summer, I was terrified, when I realized i had real feelings for gina.”

Because maybe this will put the pw/rini fans down and help them accept that rina is and was supposed to be endgame no matter what happened with liv and josh. Also, I’ve literally never seen anyone talk about this and maybe i’m just exaggerating lmao.

I think Ricky could have just as easily said something along the lines of “when i realized i had feelings/ when i realized i developed real feelings for gina” but he didn’t. Because he knew he liked Gina from the moment she kissed his cheek in that orange bug after homecoming, we’ve seen them flirt and we’ve seen him shoot a shot several episodes after that and I don’t know about you but i don’t give a spin hug to my friends. He stopped pursuing Nini as soon as gina came into the picture and that’s a fact, they didn’t bring the rickyxnini couple storyline back until after Gina moved, he didn’t actively pursue nini until Gina told him to stop calling and even then he kept texting her and we see him distracted throughout the next episode, the almost kiss didn’t happen until after Gina had replied and told him they were leaving early, only once he knew gina was completely out of the picture, did he go back to nini. He said it himself, he reverted back to his old self because he didn’t have gina in his life anymore and when gina told him she wouldn’t quit on them if she wasn’t moving away he genuinely looked upset about it as well. In episode 1 of season 2 at Ashlyn’s new years even party, that boy did a Triple Take when gina went to get a root-beer, the feelings were still there, they were just buried because he didn’t think he would see Gina again when he made his confession to Nini so he held on to what he used to know and who he used to be, because we all know that ricky bowen is not good with change. Now, in episode three of the season, the iconic valentines episode, The way he looks at her, the way his voice softens while talking to her, his line “I think you’ll get yours too.” After gina told him that every girl likes a sweet gesture, THE NEXT SCENE BEING THE CHOCOLATES, the fact that ricky got messages from nini and gina only seconds apart but he only looked onto his face once gina’s message came on, all of these things hint towards ricky’s feelings, even in 2x04 when Nini came to surprise the group in the bomb shelter, Ricky and Gina looked like they just got caught cheating even though all they did was talk and laugh. Last point, Episode five and six, He was in awe of gina when she was dancing (gina porter effect) and only went to gina for advice on nini because she had helped him the previous two times when he hadn’t even actually asked for advice in 2x04 and 2x03, The boy probably thought she was trying to get over him. In the next episode even though she had already tried to break off contact with him, he still asked to partner up with her and smiled at her when she looked at him while saying she doesn’t know what her heart desires. Even during Ashlyn’s retention of home we see ricky look at gina when he comes back in. RICHARD BOWEN HAS ALWAYS HAD FEELINGS FOR GINA PORTER, THE SEASON 3 PLOT LINE WAS NOT RANDOM OR CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. Ricky just finally realized what he could’ve had if gina didn’t move away once he lost it. RINA WAS ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AND BE ENDGAME. THEY DIDNT COME OUT OF NOWHERE OR ONLY HAPPENED BECAUSE OLIVIA LEFT. Because, fact-check Season 2 was filmed before the drivers-license drama, they did not break them up because things between liv and josh got tense. Your ship was not supposed to be endgame.

(In tomorrows post i will rant about the people who say that rina copied rini and portwells scenes And that gina is the new nini because literally where?)

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen! I recently turned 30 and have never been in a relationship

In highschool and university I was more focused on school and extracurricular activities, and relationships didn't interest me all that much. Looking back I think it was because I didn't realize I was a lesbian, and the idea of dating boys didn't seem appealing. And maybe others saw that, as I was never asked out (by any gender), and to my knowledge, no one ever took interest in me.

In my early-20s I became interested in dating once I figured out my sexuality, and tried a few dating apps and meeting new people. But nothing really came from it. I have zero experience in dating and flirting, and I have no idea what it's like to be romanced or flirted with. Just like in highschool and university, no one had ever asked me out or seem genuinely interested in me. The older I get and the more Valentine's day I see passing by as a single person, the less hopeful I feel.

It sounds silly and stupid, but I feel like I'm unlovable. Can't see a future where someone falls in love with me, and vice versa; it's so easy to just give up the hope that this loneliness will end.

I don't know what I'm asking for here - reassurance that I'm not alone in this? reassurance that I will be OK being alone? Are there others who went through similar situations and found happiness?

On a different topic: where did you get your rainbow frog necklace? I study frogs and have tried looking for that necklace everywhere.

Thank you so much!

The only dating I did in high school was with one boy whom I met at a campground one summer. He was perfect because I was not interested but also wanted to look like I liked boys. He lived about 40 minutes away and was a farm kid so our time together was very limited. It saved me from having to constantly make up excuses like “I am sick” or “I can’t kiss because I have a cold sore starting”. Any time we were together I ducked and dodged his advances and he was a gentleman about it, never pushing my boundaries. 

In college I finally admitted I liked women but was nowhere near confident enough to come out. I dated one boy, on one date and never was asked again, by man or woman which was disheartening on some level BUT also a relief because I was having fun with my friends (who were all dating off and on) and was not ready for any sort of relationship. I definitely didn’t want a boy asking me and girls scared the hell out of me. I have been told by many of my older lesbian (and some younger) friends that being intimidated by women, especially those we find attractive or interesting, is normal and expected for many of us. 

Lesbians are often way behind in dating etiquette and practice simply because we often don’t date in high school or college (at least not anyone we want to). We wait until young adulthood and independence to wade into the dating pool. Lacking dating or relationship experience seems more prevalent the older we are. But I have noticed some of the “in the middle” lesbians (30 to 40ish)  are really struggling with finding each other, dating and feeling confident enough to ask others out. It seems a fair amount of my friends find themselves single after a long relationship (often their first serious one) in that age bracket OR are just now coming out as “late in life lesbian” and have no idea how to even get started. 

I would say you are in good company no matter the reasons you haven’t been in a relationship. You could be dealing with any number of obstacles but the good news is you can handle them. You might be a bit intimidating, either from your stature or your confidence. You might be just limited in the amount of women you are exposed to therefore your dating pool is a bit stifled. Or you maybe just haven’t had the luck of meeting someone who was the right person at the right time. 

As per usual I would suggest getting to lesbian/women events. Try women’s festivals or local concerts featuring women singers or entertainers. These events will attract a wide array of lesbians and bi women and at least you could meet some more like minded women.  Just ask. If you see a woman at the gay bar or at a non profit fundraiser or at a concert, say hello and introduce yourself. At worst they aren’t interested and you have lost nothing but a minute. You might not end up on a date but you could make a new friend. 

The beauty of women’s festivals is that almost everyone there is lesbian or bi (not all but for once we are in the majority). AND it is perfectly acceptable to meet and make friends and the more you expand your friend circle the better for you. Many women meet compatible partners through other friends. 

Dating apps are an option. I can’t speak for them because I have not used one but I hear they are loaded with people looking for one night stands etc, which does not seem like what you are looking for at this stage in your life. So while they are an easy way to meet others looking to date you might have to wade through a lot of muck to find someone worthy of your time and energy.

It never hurts to ask friends to keep their eyes open. They might assume you are happily single and therefore don’t say anything but you never know who they know. You can do this and you will be fine. It just might take a little work putting yourself out there on social media, dating apps and at events. 

The necklace was made for me by my friend Weird Dan who was an artist and leathersmith. IT had to be reconditioned with new leather and some repair on the beads over covid. My girlfriend at the time found this little frog charm so when the repair was done I had it placed in the center. I have not taken it off for years except for the repairs. You can google “frog charm” or “antique silver frog charm pendant”  and some will come up. It is nothing expensive but I love it all the more because of who gave it to me. 

Remember  You deserve someone who has mutual passion and love for you. Don’t rush, don’t settle and be honest with yourself and you will be okay.

[andreal831]

What did you think of Matt/Rebekah?

Much like with any of the cross-over ships, I'm not a fan.

They just felt very random to me. Part of this is because Rebekah's character was just used to mirror Elena in TVD to cause conflict. Elena loved Stefan, so Rebekah did. Elena wanted the cure to be human, so Rebekah did. They even made Elena's necklace about Rebekah. So it's not surprising that they just threw her with the person that Elena was with when she was at her most human, normal life.

I'm not saying Rebekah was actively seeking Elena's life, rather the writers were doing it to cause conflict between the two. This is a very common storytelling tool to show parallels, but TVD relied on it far too often with Elena. We had Caroline season 1, Katherine most of the time, and then Rebekah. By the time it got to Rebekah, I was just done with one type of woman wanting the exact same things. We finally got to see Rebekah grow and become her own person in TO. But it's hard to picture the Rebekah from TO and Matt together.

I partly think they were thrown together so that Rebekah didn't get in the way of the love triangle with Stelena/Delena. Rebekah was just used by both Damon and Stefan to make Elena jealous and then discarded. She was partnered up with Matt because of course women need a man to focus on. I also feel like at this point we were getting a lot of Bonnie/Matt friendship. It's almost like the writers wanted to make sure no one started shipping them by throwing him with literally anyone. They didn't even get to further their friendship because of it.

My biggest issue with all of the MFG and TO cross over relationships is the "tension" everyone loves is actually just hatred. The MFG has every right to hate the Mikaelsons and the Mikaelsons never actually do anything to make it right or redeem themselves. Matt spent most of their courtship actively trying to kill Rebekah and her family. Matt doesn't treat Rebekah well (I don't blame him, he had every reason to hate vampires, especially the Mikaelsons), and Rebekah just seems desperate trying to make him like her for some reason. They never really show what she likes in him. The infatuation comes out of nowhere. She says she likes him because he's so "human" and I fully get that was his role in the show, but it felt very random for that to be enough for her obsession with him.

I also just don't buy her infatuation with Matt based on the timeline. Now I know most of the timeline was written after TVD but they didn't care to try and merge it together well. Marcel "dies" in 1919, she meets Stefan in 1920, and then is daggered until 2010. They don't give my girl a chance to breathe before throwing a different guy at her. It's also very clear that they didn't have Rebekah's backstory worked out at this point. She calls Matt "one of the good ones" like she hasn't dated good guys in the past. But Matt is not kind to her. He is a good guy to other people and she just keeps waiting for him to be good to her, but it never happens. Which, again, I don't blame him. Rebekah came into town trying to murder his friends and caused him to drive off a bridge, killing his childhood best friend. He has every right to hate her. I just hated how the writers made her obsessed with someone who hated her.

I do like that Rebekah saw Matt struggling even when his friends didn't. I also like that Matt gets to travel. I've talked about it before, but Matt's friends overlook his financial struggles so much. Everyone in the town does. How did none of the parents take Matt and Vicki in when their mom left? At least Rebekah tried to help. But again, it felt like Matt was getting all of the benefits and Rebekah got very little from their interactions. She liked him for being human and, for some reason, 'wanted to be human,' but he never treated her like a human. He never made her feel accepted or like she was getting a human experience for being with him.

It was a ship with no endgame possible and not even a "for now" scenario. Matt didn't want to be around supernaturals and Rebekah didn't do anything to make him feel safer in that world. If anything, she furthered his hatred. It was never going to be anything more than a fling and even that felt very forced by the writers. Rebekah needed someone who loved her for her. And Matt needed someone human who could pull him away from the supernatural world.

I also have to point out that Matt is 17/18 years old and Rebekah is over 1,000 years old. These ancient vampires really need to stop finding their significant others in high schools. They do try to make Matt seem more mature and Rebekah seemed less mature in TVD, but it doesn't erase the problems.

Thanks for the ask!

[chained-to-the-mirror]

I looked through my notes and apparently last time I sat down to write my thoughts was in February. I had been struggling with my body image and had a nasty nightmare. I’ve not had very nasty nightmares now, but the body image thing is ever present.

I recently bought swimwear for the first time since my early teens. (Let it be noted that I’ll be 43 in a month.) It was inspired by a friend who is coming to visit and wants to go swimming. I was so nervous to even try on a swimsuit… but I did it. I now have two swimsuits/swimwear. I wonder how it will be to actually go out in public wearing them - not easy, probably, but hopefully it will be at least somewhat enjoyable in the end.

Also a new thing is that I’ve been wearing shorts now. It’s almost 30 degrees here and suddenly I’ve noticed I don’t care what others think. I even wore an almost sleeveless top! Who am I?! I think this is due to age, and running out of fucks to give. I mean, does anyone really care what I’m wearing? I don’t think so. I just want to be as comfortable as possible. 

I’m putting my outfit from yesterday here - I would never have been able to wear this a year ago, no matter how hot it got. I’m surprised at myself. Also shocked at how comfortable I was eventually! There was no panicking, no distress. I see all the flaws, but it just matters less and less. I undoubtedly sound like a broken record, but I’m just so surprised.

I don’t think I would be at this point without my dear friends. They keep me sane, truly - and they never seem to get tired of shooting down my negative self talk, which matters more than anyone would guess. I love them all very much.

Another thing that’s helping is plants. I’ve become a full time plant parent, and it feels good to see things growing under my care. I’ve never been able to really do this successfully until now. I’m currently sitting on my balcony, surrounded by my green babies, and I feel calm. It’s no small thing, to feel calm! The plants also help me practice being patient. My huge tomato is testing me - there are so many flowers, but no fruit. Not even beginnings, apart from one that’s smaller than the tip of my pinky. I’m told it takes time, but I just worry. I am doing my best though, and that will have to be enough.

I don’t know where I’m going with all this, except nowhere. I suppose this is my blog, and I can go nowhere as much as I wish. I was going to write something the other day, but when the time came, I found I had no words anymore. Much like now! But I was thinking a lot about my active ED years for some reason. I used to be one of the moderators on a pro ana forum - one of the nice ones, one that helped me keep myself together for a long time. I was close to several people on there - I wonder where they are now? I kept in touch with a couple even after I was discharged from my first hospital stay, but these days I have lost contact with them. I hope they have found their own ways out. We were all sick, and brought together by being alone in our respective sicknesses. 

I kept a journal on the forum - it was full of misery and wallowing, so I’m sort of glad I have no access to it anymore. In fact, I don’t even know what became of the forum after I left. I’ve tried to find it again, but nothing comes up on google at least. It was always a very private, invitation only forum. Everyone supported everyone, in both sickness and recovery (whichever way any of us went at the time). I think I’m - ironically - alive because of those girls. (I say girls, because it was all girls. I think there may have been one boy at one point, but he was not very active.)

It’s such a weird experience, and I can’t really explain it to anyone who hasn’t been a part of a place like that. I tried to explain it to the nurses and the doctors at the hospital, but I don’t think they got it. They saw it as harmful, and probably fairly. In fact, the whole thing made me realize how futile group therapy would be for eating disorders. It can go wrong in so many ways! I’ve only had personal therapy so I can’t be sure of course, but it just feels suspicious. At least for me. I think that you have to be mostly in recovery to really be able to get any help from a group. I think that I might be able to, now - now that I’m mostly recovered. But of course it’s not something that’s available for me anymore. The EDs are not even in my diagnoses - not the main ones anyway. You’d have to dig pretty deep.

I guess this is what I wanted to get out. I’m not proud of my involvement in a thing like the pro ana movement, but I can’t fully bring myself to be sorry either. These things happen for a reason, and the reason was to keep me alive. I’m grateful for that.

It’s time to stop writing. My plants around me are telling me to wrap up the day, and they are right. I only need a shower and then I can fully relax. Thank you to anyone who read this, it’s a mess!

[kait-bait8]

Thoughts about Wolfstar???

For the longest time I’ve considered Wolfstar to be as good as canon and haven’t thought much more about them. But lately I’ve been thinking about the reality of Remus Lupin and who he is and now I have many more thoughts about them haha.

Disclaimer that while I’ve always been a fan of the original series, I was only active in the fandom for a short time several years ago and so I have no idea what “fandom lore” has been established or what discourse may have taken place. This is just coming from my read throughs of the books over the years.

While trying to examine the series with the intent to create an animated series for the modern era, I have tried to see where obvious diversity could be drawn out of characters and tried to interpret characters many different ways. I’m no expert and I’m still working on this theory, but I have begun trying to read Lupin as somewhere in the ace family.

Remus’ interactions with Tonks always felt extremely uncomfortable to me and the pressure from everyone around him to just marry her has never helped. I would love to hear more opinions about them and this is really a tangent for another post, but I’ve never understood why Tonks was so in love with Remus or why that particular pairing ever happened.

Bringing it back to Wolfstar, I think it’s a very easy conclusion to reach that Sirius and Remus had some sort of relationship beyond friendship. James and Sirius were always said to be practically brothers and clearly none of them knew Peter as well as they thought. And of course, James was always chasing after Lily. All of that leaves a space to fill about the relationship between Sirius and Remus.

But here’s my thing: I don’t think Remus’ fears about being with Tonks came from nowhere. I think Remus seeing himself as a monster has always prevented him from committing to relationships or seeing himself as worthy to be in one. I think that even after knowing the boys for years and going on many adventures together, he still thought that they were friends with a monster. And I don’t think he could bring himself to even begin to think about being romantic with anyone, even Sirius.

Obviously feelings like that are not *THE* reason he or anyone else would be ace, but I think it makes sense that it could be hard for him to feel comfortable connecting intimately and physically with anyone.

As for Sirius, I find it very amusing every time the posters in his bedroom walls are described. Obviously that doesn’t actually mean anything, but I don’t think it’s crazy to say that Sirius and James viewed girls basically the same way during their time at Hogwarts. It’s also important to note that we just don’t see Sirius interact romantically with any character in the series.

The best conclusion I can draw based on canon is that at most they had schoolboy crushes on one another, but fighting in a war and the aftermath of the fidelius curse caused them both to set all of that aside and unfortunately, they never had a chance to rekindle it.

But I love seeing fun and cute Wolfstar content because I love the idea of them together.

[weirdcrocodilelady]

hey!! saw you asking for arthur x reader prompts. i’m sorry if this isn’t what you were really looking for but could you do something more platonic? like arthur being a bit of a father figure for reader :)

I actually think about Harrow as a father (or father figure) a lot...I think he'd be really good at it. He talks to that teenage girl in Episode 2 and she seems really comfortable with him, and it makes me think he probably takes a personal interest in all his followers, regardless of age, and really has that special set of "people skills" that lets him manipulate form close relationships fairly easily. I mean, he's a cult leader. They're kind of known for that...

...But putting aside the cult stuff for now, here's some nice wholesome headcanons:

If he had a "kid" kid (meaning under 18), I think he would definitely homeschool them. He kind of toes the line between wanting to control their learning and be aware of what they're up to at all times, but also having a sincere desire to nurture their interests and let them learn at their own pace without the restrictions of grades, standardized tests, etc. So god forbid he catches his kid reading smutty fanfic that isn't appropriate for their age, he might instead help them find reading material that's more age appropriate but that they still find interesting, and maybe even help them write their own stories. (it's called redirecting, y'all)

I think he would be more restrictive when it comes to their social activities, unfortunately. His worst fear would be for their scales to not balance, so he doesn't let them hang out with anyone who might pressure them to do things that might affect that balance. The hard part of that is, Ammit doesn't exactly offer a handbook detailing what specific activities affect a person's scales, and a kid going to the mall with their friends unsupervised will probably not do anything evil, but why risk it, right?

I have no idea where this came from, but I have this random headcanon that he doesn't trust doctors? So he'd take his kid to get checkups and vaccines and everything only because there isn't really a safe alternative, but he'd be very reluctant and it would probably be one of the rare times he actually appears nervous or anxious to other people. Other than that, he relies on alternative medicines as much as possible and is kind of a genius at that stuff. (Again, this is a REALLY random headcanon that came to me out of nowhere one day, so feel free to take or leave it)

Part of my general backstory for him involves him being really poor for a lot of his life, then ending up with a lot of money due to getting wealthy "backers" on his side when he started the Ammit Club (I decided a while back that Billy Fitzgerald is a millionaire, again, I have no idea where these headcanons are coming from). So if you lived with him when he was younger, money would have been tight and there probably wouldn't have been many luxuries. But he would make things special for you whenever he could. I imagine he's very creative in the kitchen (he had Victor's recipe that one time, but who's to say he couldn't whip up his own unique lentil soup on a whim if he wanted?) and could make all kinds of delicious meals with even the most seemingly random ingredients.

He expects all his followers to help maintain the community as much as they're able to, and it would be the same for those he considers family. But he's not one of those leaders/parental figures who just gives a command and expects you to understand how to do it without any instruction. If someone is new, or younger, or doesn't seem to understand the task, he would explain more clearly or demonstrate, whatever kind of help you needed. He would also give you tips on doing your work more efficiently or easily, if it seems like you're getting bogged down or discouraged. You can come to him with literally anything you're having trouble with, even if it seems like a really simple task that you "should" be able to complete with no problem. He's incredibly patient and a great teacher/mentor.

I fully believe the majority of his physical touches are genuine, and I think touch is probably his love language. Even though he also uses touch to manipulate people into trusting him, he knows that method works for a reason. If you don't like being touched, or you're not comfortable with it at a certain time, you'd have to tell him because his instinct is to reach out and hug you when you're upset. But once you've told him, you'll never have to tell him a second time. He can be perfectly respectful of boundaries when he wants to be (i.e. when the person isn't standing in the way of him springing his goddess free).

I hope this is the kind of thing you were looking for...again, some of these are pretty specific headcanons I made up, so you can take or leave those if you want😅

Thanks for the ask!!!

[normalestgirlblog]

UPDATE

so i kind of have a new boy

hes older which scares me in a lot of ways

not that much older like 2 years im being dramatic

but obviously like high school me is flipping shit bc i was so in love with so many of the boys 2 years above me like i was actually obsessed with them and they were kind of like the last era of boys i was obsessed with when i used to be boy crazy

and when i say i used to be boy crazy I USED TO BE FUCKING INSANE AND DELUSIONAL

like a boy would ask me the time and i would think about it for a month type delusional

and atp all my friends were like hooking up / like fucking and everyone thought i was a lesbian, which may have been my fault whoops. i ruined my chances with girls because i may have been a little pyscho to my first girl but she was also fucking crazy in my defense. and then i ruined my chances with guys because everyone thought i was a lesbian bc bitches did not know that bisexuality was an actual thing

anyways

i was just obsessed with boys without even knowing them and it was always the ones like 2 years above me, 3 years was too far, and 1 year was too close plus they were not nearly as cute as the boys 2 years above me. like my art class was fucking incredible for me. although as soon as u get to know them it gets like problematic and i lose feelings. like i was properly obsessed with this boy in my art class, and one day we did this exercise where basically we had to talk about people that we hated. and literally out of nowhere he was like I hate Colin Kaepernick, which like is just so inherently horrible on so many levels. i get that he was like an army boy, he ended up going to west point and like whatever army boys are really sensitive about that stuff. But wtf like 1 that was the first name u came up with and 2 you are so fucking dense that you cant see how thats a problematic thing to say and 3 if you are so invested into this hatred did you at least take the time to understand why he did it. the answer to that last one is def not, because if he did he wouldnt have said that. i didnt even know that people like werent on his side. maybe im close minded to conservatives but like what the hell. Either way my crush was kind of obliterated into a million pieces, i would argue that my heart broke that day during art class.

obviously i would have heart wrenching crushes on people in other grades, but that grade was so good, so mysterious, so like lively and just very obsessable. People in my grade were so outwardly horrible that it was very hard to sustain an obsession on anyone.

however, the reason i havent had an obsession like crush on anyone since then except for this boy and he who shall not be mentioned, might be because i started smoking consistently after this era. and it kind of filled the hole where obsession existed and fed off my romantic ideals and delusional mind. weed like just made me not think or delude myself into liking people that were not good for me or anyone. and honestly if it also filled the hole of insecurity and all of the other stupid reasons i got suspended that wouldve been great too. it made me not care about delusional shit but did not fix me in the ways that i needed. it was never enough. fuck. and now that i dont smoke im getting fucking obsessed with boys again. it feels good but obviously also feels horrible because of the amount of panic attacks and insecurity that comes with liking a fucking boy.

liking a girl isnt much better, i also went crazy doing shit like that, but i havent done that in a while either. its worse to have an obsession with a guy that you know and are actively talking to. because you are just as delusional while they are making u feel bad about yourself to your face, and its not intentional but its not accidental. men are just manipulative creatures that have developed methods of getting what they want from women by playing into these fucking fantasies. that we are socially bred to have. like if i wasnt surrounded by notions of romance and loving a man despite his many many faults, and that my self-worth comes from having sex and being with a man, i would not be this fucked up over a fucking man.

And it honestly makes it worse that I know all of this, and I am still behaving like this. like i see the problem, i understand it, where it came from, why it exists, how it subjugates me and the women even gay women around me. there is still this compulsory subservience of men that is translated into this want and need for their attention and approval and validation. its so fucking twisted. and yet i find myself wanting them, needing them, allowing them into my heart and stomach and blood and brain and just letting them fuck all of my shit up. WHY. its not like i am stupid. i think. but like why. im miserable with them and im miserable without them. maybe im the problem?

i wonder what its like to be a man, to have this much power over women.

wait i got so off topic im just realizing. idk how it is possible but every single one of my posts turns into something depressing and existential. but i am actually happy. i do feel like im going a little bit crazy over the situation, and i am also still leading on the other girl bc i just cant bring myself to break her heart. but new obsession helping me get over old obsession and thats all a girl can really ask for.

however

i am not sure how in detail i can get abt sexual things on this app these days, but i need to get this out because it is bothering me. we were hooking up whatever and he was like i dont have a condom. obviously because i am easy and didnt suspect him to be a whore i was like oh lol thats fine idc. but then he was like oh i dont want to without a condom. which i know is normal and like very healthy but my mind is like a fucking maze of possibilities. one, that he thinks i have an std which is possible since i told him i havent used a condom in a while whoops. two, that he has an std, but we did other things that would make me not believe that. three, that he is really that nervous about getting me pregnant or stds in general, which in that case i would begin to question how nervous he is as a person and whether or not hes being really normal and im the freak, or the cautiousness of that act means something else. either way, im a fucking psychopath and no matter what anyone does im going to think of all the worst possibilities of what something could mean. this is why i like doing this and like unloading all of my thoughts because i get to see how anxious i truly am like i feel so fucking self aware right now its almost turning me on.

i dont think hes a freak, i think hes really normal. i am probably the freak that i find that really odd. also his body is so hard. its nice. and his face, but the beard scruff thing going on left my face RED.

im also completely overthinking all of it becasue it is unfortunately impossible for us to continue whatever has just been started because he is MOVING TO FUCKING SPAIN. fucker. its like he doesnt even care about me. im having a salvatore moment i suspect, and after its over a california moment. if i reference all of my romantic inclinations in terms of lana del rey songs it helps me like process them. still waiting for my groupie love <3

[backonmybullship]

And then I got mad at her because I was like so what did I do to you to deserve this and I probably ruined it but fuck her I've been her life and been so loyal for longer than anyone who's not her family not to be a cunt. Like I've been nothing but loyal since we were like six everyone has coming on and despite her being a completely opposite human who ended up resembling the kind of kids that would bully us growing up, I never gave up on her and she just started the humor me which is fine like yeah sure drift apart but blocking me was absolutely out of nowhere.

She's become a stereotypical skinny blonde runner she talks like a valley girl and puts on too much makeup and went to school for psychology. And for some reason since I am the 100% opposite of all of that I stuvk by her because I knew who she truly was.

But then I guess she was anxious our entire childhood so now she's a therapist for anxious people which is ironic, because what she did to me is the kind of shit that people go to therapy for. People used to bully the fuck out of her growing up and I defended the fuck out of her to them. So maybe who she was until very recently was just an anxious false sense of herself. Even though I truly believe that people are their most authentic selves as children because children are just incredibly honest about everything.

Our families would go on vacation together she was pretty much like my sister I was at her house non-stop and she was at my house non-stop We lived two houses from each other and of our group of four girl best friends, we were the only two in the same grade. We were partners on projects we did everything together even in high school we hung out a lot even though we started getting in different circles and having different friends and activities.

3 years ago I moved out of my hometown and state to Los Angeles and she came with me to get my first tattoo which was the Chicago flag.

She literally wished me a happy birthday like 2 months ago like of her own volition like she texted me first. Girl what the fuck is wrong with you I would be so concerned if my therapist did that to their friend.

Play texted her but I'm not going to call her to confirm that she has blocked me on text too because I'm over it.

I wouldn't much rather you ghost me starting in eighth grade When we started to have more differences, than when we are 30.

She's just not going to have more of a loyal friend than me. I mean she's got sorority sisters whatever but. I celebrated all of her achievements and made sure to ask about how she was doing and now it makes me feel like a complete dumbass for trying to maintain a relationship. If you don't want it use your words. Like when 3-year-olds start crying, adults tell them to use their words. We shouldn't have to be telling adults this.

Do you know how much I would love to have someone make an effort to be my friend for 23 years straight despite our ups and downs and physical distances and changes in our lives? I would kill for that shit. And if I felt us drifting apart or was it really interested in being friends anymore, I wouldn't fucking block them. Because I'm not a cunt.

Because a lot of my core memories are with her. She gave me a corporate speak answer about how she doesn't have the energy to answer (which is weird because she goes out to dinner with her college friends on the daily) or doesn't remember something from our childhood or sending her something that reminds me of her. That's a fucking love language. And it wasn't even that often dude. But our core memories as children are intrinsically permanently related to one another or at least mine are to her. Also if you don't remember it just say you don't remember it dude. I don't know shit about psychology but she has a fucking masters in it. I included you in my life so much and I could only hope that someone would ever want to include me in their life the way I had her in mine.

It's kind of like losing a sibling but they're right there, they just don't want you.

[bisluthq]

Gotta be honest, I do find the whole "mattress" thing in BTR, and the insinuations in Last Kiss that they LITERALLY slept together quite humorous considering who inspired them.

I'm not stupid. I'm aware that "Mr. Purity Ring" was never all that pure, but that wasn't known at the time. Before the days of ex-child stars saying he asked them for nudes, and Sophie Turner calling him out for where exactly he was putting his fingers, he was just that teenage boy on the Disney channel who's decision to wear that ring shaped his entire public perception.

This very well may not be the case, but based on how she spoke about him post Joever (1.0), I like to imagine that part of her goal with Better Than Revenge was to put it out there that JoBro wasn't as pure as he portrayed, but then by the time the song actually came out, he wasn't on Disney channel, the ring was nowhere to be found, and he was sticking a lot more than his fingers inside of his girlfriends.

I know they'd kind of made up by that point (there's pictures of them being cordial at a grammys party in Jan that year), but it's still a fun crack-theory.

It does make me wonder though, what exactly was Camilla Belle offering to that child of God in the mattress department to "lure" him from goody, goody Taylor Swift who has never had a sexual urge a day in her life?

yeah lol I mean they DID NOT have PIV (nor did Joe and Camilla - his first PIV was Ashley and we know this only because he’s told us) but they obviously weren’t just holding hands lmfao. You don’t have to have PIV to be very intimate with one another. Source: my sex life lol. Last night we actually had a bit of PIV to spice things up lmfao but it’s legit something we do like as a spicy activity not like as part of our nightly thing (and we do have sex pretty much every single night, unless we’re sick or one of us is away or I mean if we get home VERY late and drunk). Nothing wrong with liking PIV but it’s not the be all and end all.

re Camilla I don’t think it was about the sex stuff lol that’s also why Taylor changed the lyric. She was just 19 and slut shaming another girl because the boy she liked wasn’t into her anymore. I never did that but I’ve been on the receiving end of some at around that age because the rumor went round that I’m down for freaky shit (I mean I am but I hadn’t done any at that point!!!) and that’s why a guy was like choosing me over this other girl and like I wasn’t even looking to date anyone then because I was seeing bookstore girl and fucking randos so actually now I read that back I do recognize why I was being slut shamed lol.

[cryptofadventure]

🌻

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

Ok so I'm a persona fan yeah?

I got into the series when 5 came out so naturally I played that first right????

....

How come I felt so fucking cheated when I played through Persona 4?

P4 has a better story, better humor execution, better relationships, better suspense, just better everything save for aesthetics (bc the concept of mysterious thieves and the use of symbolism got me in a chokehold). Dude I'm sorry but as much as I love the Phantom thieves their friendships weren't nearly as close as the Investigation Team and there were times where they were downright malicious to each other (and by that I usually mean Atlus trying to be """funny"" and shit on Ryuji in an uncalled for manner while Morgana is allowed to be a fucking massive creep).

Morgana is fucking disgusting and completely unlikeable and you cannot change my mind, Shido was a hallow villian that pales in comparison to Adachi, they fucked up how cool Akechi's character COULD HAVE BEEN for making him snitch on himself so fucking fast, Okumura's palace was complete dog shit, and Haru was completely robbed of a character from Mona having his little piss fit that literally added nothing to the story but a headache.

Teddie was so fucking loveable and silly I literally cannot understand why people hated him. Dude his ''''weird behavior''' he learned from Yosuke and Yukiko specifically and several of the first dungeons were promiscuous and this mfer has NEVER talked to another person before you expect him NOT to pick up on what he sees his friends doing??? And he never soley went after the girls he did this to EVERYBODY no one was safe from his weird flirting and that's what made it funny vs Mona who literally sexually harrasses a sexual harassment victim at any given moment that's supposed to be his friend and acts like a incel constantly. Him being the 'being of hope' and being this fucking disgusting and selfish is fucking laughable. Fuck that cat.

But moving on since I can literally complain about Mona's character for hours; Shido is weak as fuck. Bro Adachi had LAYERS like an onion bro. He was just a everyday guy and that's what made it fucked up; ANYONE could have fallen down that road. A perfect example is Yosuke; a kid down on his luck, treated like shit no matter how hard he tries, and is consumed by boredom. Had Yosuke's parents not loved him and had ne not met his friends he could have became an Adachi himself. Adachi does a good job at making you feel bad...to a degree. Like bro it sucks your parents didn't give a shit about you, it sucks you made a tiny mistake and got shipped out to the middle of nowhere, and it sucks your love life is non-existent but you ain't had to kill anybody lmao. Also you like him once he pulls the chad move of 'oh man is THAT what i used to sound like??? You're cringe, kill yourself.' to a actual god WHILE it's beating his ass.

In addition I'm so ass mad they removed the cut scenes that gave the Will Seeds has so much more story purpose. I think it's extremely important to see how the villians get to the way they are bc no one is just born fucking evil. They were all just normal people at some point that started tumbling down the wrong road. One I can easily talk about is Kaneshiro. Where I live, gang activity is rampant; you don't just choose that lifestyle. It's a lifestyle your pressured into, or you feel you have no choice, or you are influenced by your media/friends/family. It's hardly ever something you want to do (instagram mfers with guns and drugs that say they're about that life aren't. it's a front to look cool they'd die here in seconds). He was pushed around in a low income neighborhood presumably by other gangsters and he had no choice but to fall inline and when you see YOUR opportunity to be the big dog you take it because it's a dog eat dog world..but that still don't make you a sad beanie baby. You're still a monster for ruining other people's lives by repeating history.

Showing that would have made every villain so much stronger than what they are.

Having Akechi snitch on himself so fast and even without the pancake thing it was blaringly obvious he was a antagonist. How he hated them so passionately, even for his image, didn't make much for a surprise. Also going on about characters; Makoto's hate isn't deserved full stop. 'oH BuT She WantS To Be A pOlIce OffIcer She'S meAn TO TThe GrouP SHe'S a BoOtLiCkEr' shut the fuck up Stacey you on;t hate the police bc you think it's cool but if you were robbed you'd call for 911 before anyone else. Makoto's character was so painful; imagine you lose the parent you were so close to and never met the other and on top of that you have to watch your only sibling turn into a abusive, selfish monster that treats you like shit. And it doesn't stop there, because you're pressured to be the embodiment of the nerd emoji other students hate you and adults take advantage of you. Bro the principal literally went 'I'll destroy your college future if you don't figure out a case the police can't solve'. Bro WHAT.

Also Ryuji was done dirty, Kamoshida was also his villian not just Ann's. I don't care he was still assulted too; homie teased this kid about his drunk dad beating him in front of EVERYONE and broke his leg knowing FULL WELL he's not academically capable and can't go to college any other way that sports now he has to be uncertain about his future.

eh, where was I? I forgot. In short: Persona 4 handled everything better than 5 ever could and it makes me so sad bc 5 has such a good premise and aesthetic. It honestly makes me wanna re-write a good chunk of it and apply it to my P5 blog to satisfy the dweeb in me.

Oh bonus:

If you think Maruki is morally worse than Shido soley bc you're an Akechi simp I think your brain is smoother than a jar of fucking peanut butter and that you've the intelligence of a rock.

[rafescoke]

Jealous ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Rafe finds himself being jealous over his friends with benefit flirting with a certain blonde boy

Warnings: Straight smut, angst, cursing, alcohol consumption, jealous Rafe

A/N: i am so sorry JJ for making you the second choice for almost every fic ever i still ly :( anyways thank you for 380+ followers wtf you guys are beyond amazing <3 here’s the smut you guys have been craving for:

“You’re handsome.”

“Oh yeah?” JJ smiled, showing her his pearly white teeth. “You’re not too bad, (Y/N).”

“Just not too bad?” She glowered, and leaned closer onto the blonde boy. He stared into her eyes, feeling her body heat now that she was too close to him, and he could smell her sweet scent. She reminded him of an ice cream during a hot day.

“Fine,” he huffed, and watched as her mouth morphed into a smile. “You look hot, (Y/N).”

“Thank you,” she giggled, placing a soft kiss against his cheeks as he laughed along with her, putting his arms around her.

(Y/N) never really had anything with JJ, being friends with him since god knows when, but she wasn’t cool with his other friends. He was there for her, and she was there for him, but they weren’t what people would call as best friends.

“Where’s the boyfriend?” JJ asked, a glint in his eyes. (Y/N) rolled her eyes at this, being done explaining to him that she’s not dating Rafe Cameron and will never be. They were the total opposite; he’s a kook, and she’s a pogue.

“JJ, I don’t know what to explain anymore,” she grunted, resting her back against the lawn chair as she watched the partygoers dancing to the booming music. “He is not my boyfriend.”

“You’re always out with him,” he shrugged, and (Y/N) gulped before she could answer him. After being Rafe’s friend with benefits for 5 months now, she didn’t think anyone would notice their relationship. They did everything in their power to keep themselves lowkey, but here JJ was; spilling everything.

“I won’t judge, you know,” he said, and gave her a sly smirk. “I get it if you like a kook.”

(Y/N) laughed nervously, and then proceeding to cup his face in her small hands. Her breath hitched at how adorable he looked in her hands, and she felt the urge to kiss his cheeks.

“I’m not even friends with him,” she rolled her eyes, and JJ swung his arms around her one more time, this time pulling her close. They stayed in silence for a few seconds before JJ pointed to a couple by the fire, saying a joke, and (Y/N) had laughed from the punchline.

She didn’t know it was the humour or the alcohol taking over after how many shots of vodka since the start of the party. Whatever it was, she truly enjoyed JJ’s presence; her childhood friend.

Rafe Cameron entered the party with a brunette girl he owed his father to bring, and he had never looked so miserable being in a party before. People looked at them as they made their entrance, and Rafe almost let out an annoyed groan knowing that people will talk about him and whatever the name of the girl was.

His eyes swept over the swarm of dancing bodies to look for a particular (H/C) haired girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. He sighed, continuing to walk to where they served the drinks.

“Thanks for bringing me here, Rafe,” the girl said, and Rafe nodded, not wanting to make any unnecessary conversation with her. He tried to negotiate with Ward, saying how the business will still go on without him having to take whoever this girl is to the party, but Ward had insisted him to do so, saying how he should think about making his family proud.

Rafe grunted, and his feet moved towards the backyard. He was glad the girl didn’t try to follow him after seeing her friends, and he didn’t think he would even talk to her if she did. He didn’t know what he want; he was just as confused as everyone else.

“You think so?”

His head perked up at the sound of her familiar voice, and Rafe found himself searching for her small figure. His eyes passed the couple making out by the fire, some pogue munching on a burger, someone preparing to jump into the pool and then -

Her. And JJ.

He crossed his arms, his eyes not leaving her as he watched her laughed again, her head tilting to one side. Every time Rafe would tell her a joke she would do the same thing, and Rafe felt a minor pang of hurt across his heart after knowing that she did the same with JJ as well.

“You know I would love to, J,” (Y/N) said, running her fingers through his blonde hair. “But your friends just don’t like me.”

“They do!” JJ insisted, “They just think you’re too intimidating. I don’t know what they’ll think about you if they know you’re with Rafe.”

Rafe raised his brows at the sound of his name, but before he could express a proper reaction, he heard her speak.

“JJ, enough with his name,” she groaned, “I don’t like Rafe, and I will never like him.”

Rafe almost laughed at this because god, who does she think she is? She was begging for him every time they did the ungodly activity, pulling his hair and leaving scratches behind his back. Rafe had to explain to Topper and Kelce how it was Sarah’s new kitten that had scratched him when they went out for surfing, and they didn’t even have any pets.

He listened intently again, getting more amused every second. Although he wanted to hear more of their conversation, he couldn’t deny the hurt coursing through his veins at the sound of her voice practically hating on him. He didn’t know if it was an act or if it was the truth, but he didn’t like anything about it.

“Then be with me,” JJ mumbled, and Rafe watched as she nervously laughed as if that was the funniest thing in the world. Rafe stayed quiet, wanting to hear her reply to that plea, and his heart was beating so fast.

“You’re cute,” she suddenly said, pressing a slow kiss against his cheeks again. “I’m so glad I have you in my life.”

Was that a yes? Or was that a no? Rafe cursed in his mind, not having a clue about the truth behind what she just said, and before he could process it further, the girl that he came here with tugged on his arms, catching his attention.

He clicked his tongue, “Yeah?”

“I want you to meet my friends,” she smiled, and proceeded to pull him to her group of friends who were waiting by the corner. Rafe tried to maintain his grim smile, trying to figure out how in the hell this girl did not notice the obvious signs that he was trying to show;

He was not interested.

“Here’s Rafe,” she exclaimed to her friends, and continued to introduce them to him. He smiled weakly at them, not really hearing their names, his mind wandering to a certain girl a distance away.

“Rafe?”

“Huh?” He looked at her again, “What is it?”

“They’re asking if you’re joining the truth or dare game in a few minutes,” she replied, and she had a look that wanted him to say yes.

“No,” he shrugged, and he watched as her shoulders slump. “But we can stay, I guess.”

She cheered, and Rafe used almost all of his energy not to mutter anything back, and followed her to the middle of the party where everyone started to gather for whatever middle school games they were planning to play.

He sat right next to hear, flicking his lighter on and off, not paying any attention towards his surrounding until she heard the familiar laugh again.

(Y/N) giggled at something JJ had said, walking towards the circle and sitting opposite of Rafe. They didn’t notice his presence, being too caught up with each other, and Rafe watched as she laughed again. He gritted his teeth.

“Who’s playing?” A voice suddenly spoke, and Rafe assumed him to be the host of the party. He thought of how the party sucks and he could hold a better party than this, but when she saw (Y/N) saying that she will be playing, he knew he had to be in the same game as her too.

“I’m playing,” he said, and watched as the people around him stared at him. (Y/N)’s eyes widened at the voice and she quickly looked at his direction, and he watched as she tried to contain her shocked expression.

“Okay, we have enough people playing,” the host said, “We’ll start with. . . John B, wanna choose first?”

“Yeah,” John B sat up straighter, looking around the circle until his eyes landed on his best friend. “JJ, truth or dare.”

JJ put on the smirk Rafe hates, “Easy. Truth.”

The crowd groaned and some booed, but JJ still had the smirk on his face, yelling to the crowd that he was just trying to calm everyone’s nerves.

“Okay,” John B rubbed his hands together, “Who would you like to fuck in this room?”

The room fell silent as their attentions were on JJ, and JJ laughed before replying the question.

“Seriously? I thought you’re going to ask for my bank account or something, not that I have money in it. But (Y/N). I’ll fuck (Y/N).”

Rafe found himself gritting his teeth, staring straight at the girl who was also staring back at him. She had a teasing smile on her face and Rafe had to stop himself from pulling her out of this goddamn party and into his car.

“I’ll go with (Y/N). Truth or dare?”

He watched her again, his heartbeat quickening.

“Dare,” she shrugged, and the crowd cheered, finally getting any actions they were craving since the start of the party. Rafe sat up straight, wanting to see to what extend she would do something, and he would be lying if he says he wasn’t nervous.

“I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

(Y/N) stood up from her seat, walking away from JJ and towards Rafe. He widened his eyes, not sure if she would actually do it or if she was messing with him, but she was clearly walking towards him and everyone knows it.

She leaned onto him and Rafe swore he could feel his heart stopping. He could smell her scent now; that goddamn cupcake smell he loves so much.

“You’re drooling,” she whispered, and turned on her heels.

She proceeded to return back to her position and kissed JJ with all of her heart and the crowd cheered, but Rafe was trying to calm himself down. He felt his anger rising, being humiliated just like that in front of everyone.

He stood up, ignoring the girl beside him’s questions and continued to walk upstairs, leaving the stupid game downstairs to smoke and probably snort some coke in his pocket. He didn’t know anyone here that much, being in a party outside of Kooksville and only knowing the pogues, but he’s not friends with them so he was totally alone in this case.

He entered a guest bedroom and proceeded to climb onto the bed, taking out his stash and unfolding a dollar from his back pocket.

“Hey.”

Rafe jumped to his feet, shocked to his core from the sudden voice, but he relaxed when he saw (Y/N), though he didn’t show it. He continued to separate the powder into lines, rubbing his nose a few times.

“Where’s the boyfriend?” He asked, sniffing and lowering his head to inhale the intoxicating substance. He threw his head back, feeling warm, and looked at her again.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, being questioned with “where’s the boyfriend?” almost two times now on the same night, and crossed her arms.

“You have no power to be mad at me, Rafe,” she said, and walked closer to him. He watched as she leaned onto him like she did downstairs a few minutes ago, “You’re not my fucking boyfriend, and you know it.”

Rafe laughed, his head getting woozy, but he couldn’t deny the amusement he was feeling at that time, and god he felt like doing the most filthiest things to her.

“And if I want to fuck JJ,” she continued, her face so close to him that her voice was just above a whisper, “Then I’m allowed to.”

“Oh yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, and he stared into her eyes with a smirk tugging on his lips. “You wanna fuck him? He can fuck you better than I can?”

Her breath hitched as he trailed his pointer along her soft cheeks from the temple, and he whispered again, this time with his face so close she could feel the heat from his breathing.

“I’m asking, baby, can he?”

One thing that (Y/N) hate was being challenged, and the look that Rafe gave her fit that exact meaning.

Before she could mutter anything else he attached their lips, moving so fast she didn’t have time to catch a breath. He pushed her over so her back was against the bed, her chest heaving, and Rafe had never looked prouder when he saw her in that state.

“Wanna be a bitch again?”

“Maybe,” she answered, with that twinkling in her eyes.

“Wrong answer,” he replied, and kissed her roughly again, hearing her moans and her fingers pulling on his already unkept hair, making them more messier. He groaned when he felt her biting on his lips, knowing that he would have to create a new lie to Topper and Kelce on why his lips are all bruised.

He pulled her apart again, this time with both of their chests heaving, and Rafe swore he had never looked at someone more beautiful than the girl before him. His eyes trailed down to her chest, seeing her breast all pushed up and her nipples hard against the cold air.

He licked his teeth, “No bra?”

“No-pe,” she giggled, emphasising on the ‘ope’. She inched closer to his ear, “Making it easy for you.”

“Thanks, baby,” he replied before kissing her fully on her lips again, and slowly going down to her core. He placed his wet kisses from her neck to her stomach and down to the aching heat as she arched her back from the tingling feeling, placing her palm against her mouth to silence herself.

He continued to place soft kisses on the outer side of her pussy, his member hardening when he could see the wet mark on her panties. He watched as she bit her lips, closing her eyes from just the kisses.

“Beg,” he whispered, and (Y/N) looked up from her laying position, feeling like dying at the slow reaction from him. She groaned, desperate for her release, and bit her lips.

“Please, Rafe,” she begged, withering as he ran his fingers along her thighs. “Please, baby, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

Before she could prepare herself he dipped in, collecting her juices with hid tongue and flicking back and forth on her clit. She couldn’t contain her voice anymore, whimpering and moaning his name as he continued to please her, liking the way she was so submissive under his touch.

Just like putty.

“Oh my god, you’re amazing,” she gasped, gripping onto the sheets with her fingers. “I’m close, Rafe, oh my god.”

He chuckled against her core, sending vibrations throughout her body and causing her to yell from the overwhelming pleasure, gripping on the sheets even harder she could feel it coming undone from the mattress. She could feel the familiar euphoric feeling inside of her stomach and arched her back to reach it, until-

“Rafe!”

“Huh?” He looked up to her, innocently wiping his mouth with the back of his hands as he crawled back go her. He gave her a smile, “What’s wrong baby?”

“I was so close,” she answered, with tears in her eyes. Rafe tutted, using his thumb to wipe a tear that escaped, and proceeded to press the thumb on her clit, causing her to jerk upwards in shock.

“You’re okay, baby?”

“You’re a dick,” she answered, and jerked again as he pressed his thumb into her one more time. “The biggest dickhead I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah?” He raised his brow, and placed a soft kiss against her lips. “Should I go then?”

He made a move to go away and without any shame she pulled his by his wrist back, not letting go until he chuckled, placing himself before her again.

“Answer me one question,” he whispered, and tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Me or JJ.”

“You.”

“Who?”

“You, Rafe.”

“Not my name,” he said in a sing-song voice, and proceeded to fake-yawn.

“You, daddy.”

He watched her with a smile on his face, leaning closer and pressing a kiss ok her cheeks one more time. “And will you be good to me?”

“Yes, daddy.”

Rafe was harder than ever, he could basically cum just by seeing her all worked up under him. His breathing was heavy, and he wanted nothing more than to fuck the girl before him.

“Okay, then,” he sighed, and before she could process anything he turned her over, exposing her ass to the air as the skirt she wore rode up to her waist, and (Y/N) felt a rush of cold against nipping on her skin.

She yelped as she felt his palm made contact with her cheeks, spreading his fingers and massaging them right after. He liked the colour of her skin now, all red, just because of him.

He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his boxers down, letting his member springing free and watched as his precum pooled on his tip, and quickly positioned himself before her.

“Please,” she begged, and that was enough for Rafe to push into her, closing his eyes and muttering a curse word while he felt her closing on him.

“Fuck, so good for me, baby,” he swore, fastening hid movements. The girl was practically screaming under him, and he had to place his hands against his mouth to keep her shut. He groaned, feeling the warm feeling inside him growing.

“Shut up, you bitch.”

She moaned at his words, taking a liking at the way he downgrades her since the first they had sex, and pulled on his hair as she tried to comprehend the euphoric feeling inside her.

“I’m close,” she warned, tugging on his back as he pushed into her, this time with a faster speed than before. “Fuck, I’m so close, baby-”

“Cum and I’ll fucking kill you,” he groaned, pushing himself into her that he ended up balls-deep, watching her scrunched up face trying to take his full length. He grunted, feeling his own end nearing, and getting ready to pull out.

“Fuck!” He yelled, aiming his penis at her face as he shot his load, and she could feel the hot leaks dripping off her face down to her neck. She didn’t reach her high, not wanting to disobey Rafe before, and she felt like crying her hardest.

“You’re crying now?” He laughed, cupping his face with his hands and watched as his cum dripped from her eyebrows down to her eyes, and he took the chance to clean them using his fingers before placing them before her eyes.

“Suck.”

“Fuck you,” she said, her eyes glassy.

“I said,” he leaned closer, placing his knee against her core and watched her jerked again, “Suck.”

She gritted her teeth and took his fingers into her mouth, tasting him and making lewd noises. Rafe watched her with his mouth slightly parted, his eyes a shade darker.

“You’ve been a good girl, princess,” he smiled, and made a move to hold her. She pushed his hands away and he laughed, “Tell me what do you want.”

“I want you to fuck off.”

“Really?”

She bit her lips, not wanting to answer his question. In truth, she wanted nothing but for him to fuck her like it was their last day on earth.

“You still want me to fuck off when I do-” he inserted a finger inside her and she grunted, “This?”

“Y-yeah,” she answered, biting her lips.

“Are you sure? Even when I do-” he inserted another finger, “This?”

“F-fuck, yeah,” she gripped the sheets, feeling the familiar feeing knotting in her stomach again for the third time.

“Really?” He sighed, and took his fingers out, pretending to wipe them on his shirt. “Guess I’ll go. Respect the lady, you know?”

“Fuck you,” she said, and Rafe chuckled when she took ahold of his fingers and inserting them into her by herself, arching herself at the feeing she’ve been craving since forever.

Rafe bit his lips, watching her guiding his fingers and he wished he had his phone with him so that he could record this moment and watch them over and over again.

“Close, baby?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, thrusting against his fingers. Rafe sucked in a breath, hearing her moans, and before he knew it she released himself against his fingers, screaming his name as she reached her high.

He laid himself beside her, staring at the ceiling as they tried to catch their breaths again. (Y/N) turned to look at him, and when he noticed she was looking at him he turned his head to her in the same way, so they were both staring at each other.

“You’re still an asshole.”

“I know.”

“And I hate you.”

“I know,” he smiled, and god, (Y/N) never had a stronger will to slap that stupid smile from his face.

“You love me though,” he suddenly said, and (Y/N) turned to look at him again.

“God, you’re full of yourself.”

“You just don’t want to accept the truth, (Y/L/N).”

“Whatever,” she got up, searching for her discarded panties and fixing her fallen top and skirt. She ran her fingers through her hair to disentangle them before making her way towards the door, only stopping to look at him before she could return to the booming music.

“See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

-

add yourself to the taglist!

i couldn’t tag more than 50 users, i’m so sorry :(

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @im19yearsold @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @drewstarkeyluver @unfortunatekiwitrash @Mellifluouszayn @hhishho @hvrcruxes @scottybitch @asimpwriter @starxqt @amaya124 @Made212 @adriee16 @eggirl @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @beyatch012 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @lumzs @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasauce @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @Emmalvei_03 @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u