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shyphonics · 7 months ago

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Salad Days, Chapter 6: Just You and Me, Punk Rock Girl

(Rodrick Heffley x reader)

chapter directory here

Light sex warning for the beginning- 18+ plz

This chapter took me a while - I wrote the beginning the same night I wrote the first and second chapters. Then I realized I think I'm more comfortable writing horrific and sad moments than sweet moments and I kinda froze trying to fill the plot in around it lol.

Thank you so much to everyone reading this!!! The fact that it's actually getting notes makes me really, really happy :)

Also this chapter's run of songs contains a secret song in the spotify playlist oooooh

Oh my mama mama mo-my-mum

Have you kept an eye, an eye on your son?

I know you've got problems, you're not the only one

Since your sugar left, left you on the run

The gas cans felt good in his hands. Heavy. Smooth plastic snug in his fingers. His grip was tight. He reveled in the sound of the liquid sloshing around. The unmistakable smell.

Everybody fucking hated him. Every second of every day, he felt like his brain was on fire. A full body burn begging him to get out.

Get out now.

It's not like anyone was inside. The old library had been gutted weeks ago. They were supposed to demolish it next week. If he really thought about it… he was doing them a favor.

Yeah. So do it. Who gives a fuck.

He busted a window and stuck his leg inside, stepping into the decayed, old building. It smelled like dust. It smelled like school.

Stupid Frank and Susan.

Stupid Heather Hills.

Stupid Rodrick. Going nowhere, doing nothing, being nothing. Stupid.

The smell was strong, but he liked it.

He grinned, he nearly hyperventilated as he doused as much as he could.

Dizzy in his head, laughing maniacally

Breathing in fumes, killing brain cells.

What did it matter.

He shook the last drops out of the second can and tossed it across the room.

He struck a match. Let it burn out.

Struck another. Toss.

The fire erupted.

He stood there to watch it for a second, and ducked back out the window.

He knew he wouldn't have much time to admire his work, so he started running.

Deep into the woods.

He stopped and saw a ball of flames rise in the distance. The ground rumbled. His eyes went wide. He ran all the way home.

Nobody even knew he was gone. He'd left music playing in his room so it'd sound like he never left.

He watched the living room from the top of the stairs. A news report was on.

The library was directly on top of an open gas line. No fucking kidding.

Half the street went up in flames.

It's not like there was much on that street anyway, besides a strip mall with one or two active tenants. Closed for the night. No injuries reported.

His mom was crying. His dad was in shock. Greg and Manny were already asleep.

How could something like this happen? his mom whispered.

They're saying it was just some freak accident. They can't put it out. It's going to burn straight down to the foundation. Frank, incredulous.

Rodrick was silent.

Words to memorize

Words hypnotize

Words make my mouth exercise

Words all fail the magic prize

Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs

“Hey,” a cool hand on his face, “where are you? Are you okay?”

He’s sent flying back to reality suddenly, looking up into your eyes. He looks frazzled. He’s not sure where that came from. All he knows is that he can never tell you.

“I'm fine,” he breathes, his hands moving to your hips, squeezing. Like he’s making sure you’re real.

How could he not be fine? The realization of what's going on hits him like a brick and he squeezes you harder.

He looks up at you like you're a goddess. Hips perfectly situated on his, eyes glinting in the low light of your bedroom. Every subtle movement you make sends a twitch through his body. Breath hitching through plush pink lips, mouth agape.

“I'm fucking amazing,” he sighs.

“Okay, good. Thought I lost you for a second.” you smile, placing a hand on his chest. His heart is racing.

You move your hips, just a little, testing the water.

He throws his head back and huffs, moving with you. He always figured that this- all of this- would be good, but he never dreamed it would be this good. It must be something special about you, he thinks.

You keep smiling down at him.

“If you wanna pick it up a little bit, go ahead,”

“P-pick it up?”

You raise yourself up off him a little, and then send yourself back down. He shudders, a grin spreading across his face. You keep it up, laughing softly, slowly bouncing up and down, skin slapping skin. Obscene, wet sounds. A groan comes from deep within his throat. He's thrusting up to meet you, knuckles white on your hips.

You haven’t had an impressive amount of sex in your life, but you’ve certainly had some experiences. Nothing has ever been like this. Rodrick is looking at you- not your body- he’s looking into your eyes. His eye contact has a sense of pleading, his lips are trembling. You lean down to kiss him. It’s tender. It’s intimate. You’d figured he’d be quick and chaotic. Experienced, maybe, but not learned.

Everything just feels so good.

His hands are gentle on your back, rubbing up around your shoulder blades. You feel his hips roll, and it sends waves of heat through your body. You keep a slow and passionate pace together, it feels like your bodies are perfectly in tune with each other.

“I can't believe that you… I…” Rodrick breathes, his brain turned to mush.

“I know,” a sharp breath leaves you as he hits a certain spot.

You speed up, both of you seeming to know what you need. Your bodies glisten with sweat, and you throw your head back, hands anchored to his shoulders. His hands move up to your chest, gently squeezing, then ghosting down your ribcage. His hands- so large, so strong. They’re slightly weathered, calloused from his drumsticks, and they’re so warm. His bony hips poke into your thighs with every thrust. You can just feel him. All of him.

Then you feel him twitch inside of you.

“I think I…” Rodrick gasps.

You look down at him, your eyes warm, reassuring him. You feel close too, still warmed up from earlier. He ruts up into you, flushed and panting. You feel yourself squeeze around him, your vision blurring slightly, as a rush of tingles runs through your whole body, and that seems to send him over the edge. He stops suddenly, breathing heavily, holding your hip down onto his, the other cupping your face. His eyes squeeze shut, then open wide, and roll back into his head.

You both sit and recover for a second, gasping for air, looking at each other. You roll off of him, and lay next to him, exhausted. He reaches out desperately to grab your thigh, as you turn to your side and throw your arm over his chest. You reach up and feel his cheek. His skin is hot, and slightly stubbled.

“I’m glad I didn’t wait.”

“You were gonna wait?” He pants.

“I don’t usually do that. That fast. But now I know.”

“Know what?” He turns his head to look at you, eyes tired.

“That I really, definitely like you.”

He laughs, pulling you closer to his chest and kissing the top of your head.

“I really, definitely like you too.”

You wriggle the comforter out from underneath you, and throw it over the both of you. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off, hands on each other, legs tangled.

For the first time in a long time, Rodrick dreams of absolutely nothing.

I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand

Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

Lose sensations, spare the insults, save them for another day

I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away

Rodrick wakes up before you, lifting his head in confusion at his unfamiliar surroundings. Until he feels your arm draped over him, and remembers where he is. It’s still early, and you’re dead asleep. He smiles, pulling you closer to him. He gazes over your face, lit up in the early morning light. You stir, coming to rest your head on his bare chest, and he’s so happy he could cry.

“Go back to sleep,” you mumble.

He does.

You wake once the sun is all the way up, blinking at the beams coming in through your window. Rodrick has an iron hold on you, and little snores are coming from him.

You can see your alarm clock from where you are, and it’s a little after 9 AM.

You turn slightly onto your back, and feel Rodrick moving.

“You up?” You look over at him. His eyelids are heavy, and there’s a lazy smile on his face.

“I’m up,” he sighs.

“Glad you didn’t sneak out on me.” You chuckle.

“Why would I do that?” His voice is sleepy, and a little whiny.

“I don’t know. Boys are weird.”

He gives you one last squeeze before he lets you up.

“You wanna shower?” You ask, running a hand through your hair.

The water is warm, and you can finally see Rodrick’s lanky body in all its glory. Steam fills the bathroom, and his face is slightly flushed.

“So, last night,” Rodrick stretches under the stream of water. You find yourself admiring the lightly defined muscles in his back, and fighting the urge to smack his ass. Maybe later.

“What about it?” You smirk, squeezing some body wash onto a washcloth.

“It was… real? Like, it happened, right?” He turns around, eyebrow raised, grinning smugly.

“As far as I'm aware,” you laugh, beginning to scrub yourself.

Rodrick pauses, water running down his shoulders.

“Wow,” he smiles, then his face falters just a little, “and… you enjoyed it?”

You give him a look, wringing out your washcloth. Instead of answering him, you just step forward and kiss him, warm water flowing over you. Your hands travel over his body, slick with water and soap. You pull away.

“Duh.” You smile.

You dry off. Rodrick's wet hair is wild, and he still has a little bit of eyeliner on.

He grabs his clothes from the night before, and you stop him.

“Are you sure about that?”

He freezes, holding his boxers with the tips of his fingers, like a deer in the headlights.

“I can�� turn ‘em inside out,”

“Ew. I have clothes you can wear,” you laugh, “boxers make good pajamas, and most bands don't really make women's shirts.”

“Really?”

You toss him a pair of plain, black boxers, then get an idea. You head to your closet, where you keep your band merch.

“Y'know what? I'm returning the favor. You look like a medium.” You root through the box, and toss him a shirt with your band’s logo on the front. He holds it up to himself and smiles. You find your Löded Diper shirt, discarded along with your purse by the front door, and put it on. As you come back, he's pulling the boxers on, and you take your chance.

Smack.

“Hey!” he yelps, turning to face you, blushing just a little.

He sees your shirt, and a giddy grin appears on his face.

You find yourself at the coffee shop across the street, sitting on the little patio. The streets are packed with groups of people, enjoying the spring day. Rodrick mangles a croissant as you sip from a large, white mug. You appreciate the fact that the two of you can sit in a comfortable silence like this. You flip through the local alt paper, The Eye.

“Ooh, there's a Pyramid show tonight, my friend’s band is playing. That'd be a good place to show you. They have an entire wall of pinball machines.”

“Are you friends with all the bands?” Rodrick asks, pouring 4 packets of sugar into his coffee at once.

“Not all of them. But a lot of them. I try to network.” You shrug, reading through the event calendar.

“All the major bars are kind of in one strip, with a few outliers. Then you have your DIYs and house venues.”

Rodrick sips his coffee, makes a face, and adds 2 more sugar packets.

“Do you think we have a chance at any of them?”

“You guys are gonna have good word of mouth after last night,” you nod, “I bet in a week you'll have an offer from Pyramid or Dime Store.”

“Wow,” Rodrick breathes, assuming that must be really good.

“It looked like your guys got along with everyone, too, and Mike likes you. You've got a great start. You might even get to open for a real band once they start coming in the summer.” You smile at him, looking up from the paper.

“We are a real band,” he looks confused.

“Yeah, but, y'know. A touring band. The Casualties are coming back this summer… Circle Jerks usually run through with Descendents once a year, D.R.I. has been on a ‘retirement tour’ for the past few years,” you say, adding air quotes, “your name's on the opener list now. And most of the time, picking someone from that list falls to me… but don't expect any obvious nepotism. I try to match people up by sound.”

Rodrick grins, stars in his eyes.

“Do any bands around here, um,” he pauses, unsure how to word it, “make it?”

“Sometimes,” you lean back, thinking, “it's hard nowadays. There was this super popular indie band last year. They got picked up to be on a movie soundtrack, and they're huge now. That's what sells, these days. I'll let you work out the irony of indie selling.” You smirk.

“So, what? Heavier bands are just shit out of luck?” He takes another sip of his sugary coffee.

“That's how it goes,” you shrug, “you give up most of the hope of being famous to be a real musician. There's a reason that even huge punk bands are still just playing at bars instead of stadiums. It was never marketable. Punk’s not even a genre anymore. To me, it's having the attitude of ‘I’m pissed off, and I'm making it your problem.”

Rodrick laughs, “Okay, I do like that.”

You finish the last of your coffee, and roll up your paper, tucking it in your bag.

“You ready?” You stand up, stretching.

“For what?” he looks at you, draining his mug.

“I'm gonna show you the strip, rookie.”

You smile, holding your hand out, and he takes it.

“The Strike’s back that way, you’ve already seen it. There’s a pretty big gap of old shops and abandoned buildings from here to there.”

You lead him down the street, pointing out bars. Most of them will be closed until the late afternoon.

“There’s Pyramid, there’s Dime store. That one’s cool, the upstairs is a drag bar called Fluorescence, and the downstairs is a dive called Dim Bulb.”

Rodrick laughs, taking in the sights of the street.

“First time I ever came down here, I was with a bunch of friends who were 21, and I was still 19. Dim Bulb is all ages if you put the X’s on your hands, but Fluorescence is strictly 21+. My friends went upstairs. Downstairs was dead that night. They told me to wait in the bar and not go off walking by myself, but…”

“You went off walking by yourself?” Rodrick smirks at you.

“How’d you know?” You chuckle, “Yeah, and I had just gotten these leather pants, and I felt so fucking cool. But I was so stupid. And this gross, old guy stopped me and asked if I was ‘working’, and I said ‘no, fuck off, get away from me’,” you say, your tone nonchalant.

Rodrick raises his eyebrows, his mouth falling open.

“So, he starts chasing me down the street, yelling, ‘I’ll kill you’, and I was yelling back all this bullshit, just totally bluffing,”

You stop in front of a bodega along the street.

“And the guy who owns this place came out and scared the guy off. He’s good people.”

You wave at the man inside, who perks up and waves back.

“That place has everything. 9-volt batteries, first aid stuff, you name it. If you find yourself in a jam, head over there.”

Rodrick looks through the windows as you walk by.

“This whole street is, like… a tiny little town all on its own. Also, I'm glad you didn't get murdered.”

“Yeah,” you sigh out, looking over the strip, feeling proud, “it really is. I love it here. I’m glad I could show you around. And thanks.” You laugh, squeezing his hand.

You keep walking, down towards the point where the bars end and the shops begin. Rodrick walks slowly, swinging his hand with yours. He keeps his head on a swivel, trying to take in all there is to see. Old neon signs, graffiti-covered brick walls, and show fliers absolutely everywhere.

“I think you’re gonna like this place,” you turn to look back at Rodrick, who looks absolutely awestruck.

The bell on the record store door rings, and you're greeted by the familiar woman behind the counter, Jennifer. She’s tall and muscular, with a smoker’s voice, and impeccably curled baby bangs.

Rodrick stops as the door closes behind him. It’s a cozy, dark little room. There are houseplants everywhere, among long boxes of records on high tables. The walls are exposed brick, and light is coming in through two long, skinny windows. An orange cat rests on one of the tables, in a sunbeam. The walls are completely covered in posters, framed records, and old fliers.

“It's you! I have pulls for you,” she looks over thick-rimmed glasses at you, reaching under the counter, then sees your shirt, “what in the hell is that?”

You look down at the bold, white letters on your shirt and laugh.

“Best new band in this town. You really haven't heard of them?” You say, teasingly.

“Diaper…?” she squints, looking at you, bewildered.

“I'm just messing with you, they played their first show last night. This is the drummer, Rodrick,” you gesture to Rodrick. He approaches the counter and sticks out his hand, smiling politely.

Jennifer looks back to your shirt, then at Rodrick.

“Kid, I'll level with you. There are worse names out there.” She barks out a laugh, looking down at her hands, both being used to hold a stack of records.

Rodrick notices, and retracts his hand, laughing nervously.

You kill about an hour in the shop, looking at all the things Jennifer has hidden for you over the week. It was once a very kind thing she did when you were flat broke and new in town, but she kept it up as a tradition, because she said you got it.

Rodrick exhausts each box, looking in amazement at all the different records. 'Dad Rock,' 'Punk Rock,' 'Rockabilly,' 'Psychobilly,' 'Synth Shit for Weirdos.'

The ‘misc.’ box contains a Jane Fonda home workout, a square dancing instructional record, and a full album of canine heartbeats, meant for veterinary students. Rodrick pulls it out and looks at it, reading the cover in confusion.

“See something cool?” You perk up and walk over to him, reading the record.

“Canine Heart Sounds? Is that a band?” You squint. He stays quiet, holding in a laugh.

“‘4-10 acquired murmurs', what the fuck?”

You see the text for ‘Berkeley Medical Veterinary Group’ and let out a cackle, lightly punching Rodrick on the shoulder. He breaks too, putting the record back in the box.

“You totally thought I was all cool and underground for a second.” Rodrick laughs.

You leave the record shop, and you decide to take him to see everything. You try on leather jackets way beyond your means at the biker shop, spiked collars at the goth shop, and hats at the western shop. You point and laugh at each other the whole way, except that some of that leather had looked pretty good on Rodrick… and he might’ve thought the same about you.

By late afternoon, you’re both a little worn out, and you wind up back near where you started, at a tall, yellow building. It’s an ancient pizza joint.

Inside is a massive, wooden staircase, and yellow walls covered in sharpie graffiti. Dumb little messages, from mystery people. From who knows how long ago. It feels like a million little voices yelling at him all at once.

Penelope was here!

Aaron is a cheating douchebag!

George Dubya, suck my dick!

And band names. So many band names.

“Whoa,” Rodrick looks up. It’s even on the ceiling.

You lead him to a large window, with a greyed, wooden frame.

You fish in your purse and find a sharpie, handing it to him.

“When we first started the band, we came here to make it official. I wrote our name, right here, under the window.” You look down, away from him, feeling a little sappy.

Rodrick looks at the smooth, black writing.

The Shrieks

10.15.03

He smiles.

“And, if you’ll notice, there’s an empty space right there next to it…” you say, trying to sound nonchalant.

Rodrick smiles, then crouches down, uncapping the sharpie.

He carefully draws his logo, adding the little horns and tail, with a small safety pin and the date underneath.

He stands up, handing the marker back to you. You look down at your two logos together, then up at your coordinated shirts.

“Yeah. They look great together,” you smile up at him, “now it’s official. Welcome to the scene.”

Rodrick feels a swell in his chest, looking down at your genuine smile. He’s been just a little guarded all day, but… now he gets it. You actually want him around. It’s not a joke. It’s not a trick. You’d wanted his band to be immortalized next to yours on this greasy, strangely beautiful wall.

He catches you off guard, pulling you into a tight hug. You blink once or twice, then wrap your arms around him, smiling against his chest.

“Hey!”

You pull away from each other, and turn to where the voice came from. It’s Ward, in an apron, by the counter.

“I got a job!” He’s grinning.

The two of you walk up to the counter and catch up, refusing to give him any details, no matter how much he wiggles his eyebrows.

So we jumped up on the table, and shouted “anarchy!”

And someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox

It was “California Dreamin’”

So we started screamin’

“On such a winter’s day!”

The two of you sit at your little table, the sun beginning to set outside. You’re laughing at some high school story he’d been telling you- something about how he’d been in love with some girl and ruined her sweet 16.

He pauses, taking a sip out of his glass bottle, beaming.

“God, and she was really into N’Sync, so we spent all this time learning ‘Tearin’ up my Heart’,”

You cackle, slamming your hands on the table, “Oh, god, no!”

“But last minute, I told Ben I wanted to sing, and he could play drums-”

“Can he play drums?”

“Nope!” Rodrick laughs, “And I sang in this high pitched voice- she wanted us in tuxes, but, um, I kinda wasn’t listening when my brother told me that? Also didn’t have the money. But I figured all black was good enough.”

“Did you learn any boy band moves?” You wipe away a stray tear that had escaped your eye.

“I wish. That would’ve been awesome, but, no. We did set off a bunch of pyro, and I jumped off the stage.”

“Pyro?!”

“Ben’s brother is in demolition,” Rodrick laughs, but feels a little pang of anxiety with the words that leave his lips.

You don’t notice his face change, still laughing. Rodrick grins at you, wanting to make the big reveal good.

“This family was loaded, okay? Country club rich. So, the pyro goes off, and it’s chaos. I was, like, dancing around her? And I backed up right into a giant ice sculpture of her head.”

You look at him, in shock, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, and then she tried to kill me with a mic stand, but ended up knocking over a chocolate fountain, and everyone got absolutely covered in chocolate… and then she hated me forever. Still hates me. That’s the girl from last night, by the way- my ‘girlfriend’?”

“No fucking way,” your eyes go wide. “That’s why you were staring each other down.”

Rodrick gives a satisfied nod, chuckling slightly.

“Well, I guess you learned your lesson: don’t trust the rich. First rule of punk.” You tease.

“Yeah, and if she’d actually liked it, I… I would probably be miserable,” He says, a look of realization on his face. You raise your eyebrows.

“I’d probably be at some fancy event right now wearing, like, a polo or something. Oh, god. I’d probably be working for her dad.” He looks down, eyes wide.

You boo him, giving him a thumbs down.

“I wouldn’t have met you,” He stares at you in surprise.

You smile, leaning towards him, your elbow on the table.

“I’m… so fucking glad all that bullshit back home happened,” He shakes his head, smiling, “Because now I’m here.”

“In a greasy, old pizzeria?” You smirk.

“In a greasy, old pizzeria, with you,”

You laugh, at a loss for words. Something about Rodrick seems to have bloomed today, and you like it. It’s like he finally evened out. You lean closer to him.

“I’m glad I’m here with you too,” You smile.

Your lips almost touch, but the buzzing of your cell phone interrupts you. You groan. It's Mike.

“Hey, what's up?”

“They got us! They fucking got us!”

Rodrick hears Mike screaming through the phone, and feels his heart drop.

“What? Who got us? What are you talking about?” Your heart skips a beat.

“They smashed the window! And wrote all over the walls! It's like Sharon Tate all over again!”

Your jaw drops. He's serious.

“Mike, who?”

You hear the sound of glass crunching down the line, along with Mike's enraged muttering.

“How many people did we kick out last night?” He spits.

You take a second to think.

“A lot. It got crazy.”

“Did we have to put anybody on the list?”

You make eye contact with Rodrick. His eyebrows knit together in worry.

“Yeah, there were a few.”

The List is only to be used in extreme circumstances. Any bar patrons found guilty of irredeemable asshole behavior have their IDs taken, photocopied, and returned as their asses are kicked out the front door. You're not sure how legal it is, but it's very effective.

The guy who had punched Rodrick last night, along with all of his friends, had absolutely made The List.

“I know who it was,” your voice shakes, “I’ll be right over.”

You hang up, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Did he say someone smashed the window?” Rodrick breathes in disbelief.

“Yeah,” you put your head in your hands, “do you know the name of that guy who punched you?”

“Ugh. Bryan Kent.” Rodrick frowns.

“Do you think he'd do something like that?”

“Yeah.” He says, without hesitation.

“Fuck!” You sigh, “At least we have a name.”

Rodrick looks at you, guilty, like he might cry. You feel a pang of sadness.

“No, no, sorry. Shit. Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault, I’m just pissed off.” You ramble.

The bar is like your baby. Though you’ve only worked there a year, it means a lot to you. Mike had drunkenly promised to leave it to you several times, and you feel a strong protective urge over it.

“I gotta go,” you grimace, “Should I take you home?”

He nods, looking dejected.

There are two cop cars parked outside Rodrick’s apartment building, and you notice him gripping the door handle tightly.

“Wonder what that’s about?” You murmur.

“Could you take me around the back?” Rodrick’s voice shakes.

You look at him, raising an eyebrow, but circle around back anyway.

He opens your car door and gets out.

“Hey,” you stop him, “that was really fun. I hate that it ended this way, but… we’ll see each other again, okay? I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I… I really like you.”

“Me either.” He nods. His voice is cold, and his eyes are void of all emotion.

You know something is wrong, but you have bigger problems on your hands right now.

“Okay,” you give him a weak smile.

He grimaces, and shuts the door. You watch him walk through a grimy back entrance, and pull off.

“Rodrick, dude,” Ben looks at him with bug eyes when he walks through the door, “the fucking cops were here!”

Rodrick freezes.

“Did they leave?”

“Yeah, but they were looking for you, man.” His voice is hushed and panicked.

Rodrick checks the window, and the cop cars are gone.

“What did they say?”

“Something about your name being associated with a crime scene?”

Rodrick turns to look at him, “What?”

So while you sit back and wonder why

I got this fuckin’ thorn in my side

Oh my god, it’s a mirage

I’m tellin’ y’all, it’s sabotage

tag list: @crumpets-are-better-with-jam

#this has been in my docs since march with the title 'arson reveal into sex???' lmao #also I spent a while thinking of a 2005 alternate to baby #i feel like heather would be an nsync girl #i love this chapter #and I'm so excited for the next ones #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick rules #doawk rodrick #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick heffley fanfiction #salad days #my #stuff

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sassylegshayne · 2 years ago

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support your local caffeine dealer chapter six

chapter six if finally here, revealing how the aftermath of the night together will shake out eeeeeee okay yay enjoy!! mwah xx oh yeah it's 3.5k and has some little pieces of spice btw

series masterlist

You awoke slowly, the sun peering through the curtians of your living room window. You move around a bit, confusion flooding your mind as you feel something tough below you.

Your heart races as you open your eyes, your view falling upon a sleeping Shayne, his arms wrapped around your waist. Soft snores leave his mouth as he slumbers.

Your view does nothing to calm your beating heart, your hands shaking a bit as your tried your best not to wake him. You wanted to freak out, like you were internally, but you didn't think you could handle the conversation you needed to have with Shayne right now.

So you slowly, very slowly, remove yourself from him, making sure to replace the blanket, keeping him warm.

You find yourself tiptoing through your own home as you inch toward the kitchen; attempting to brewa pot of coffee as quietly as you could.

You find yourself sat at your dining table, mind racing a million miles a minute as you sipped your coffee; at this point, you were hoping the caffeine would work some magic spell, drawing your memories forth.

Not working.

The last thing you remembered was saying your goodbyes, and getting into Shayne's car, which now seemed like a black hole, sucking all your thoughts away.

Stirring from the couch sent your head quickly turning to face it, a small smile on your lips as you took in Shayne's disheveled look; his hair tousled, clothes a bit askew, his lips quite pink... oh my god.

You didn't..did you? You really hadn't thought of that possibility until now; did you make a move on him? Did you two fuck?

He rises from the couch, stretching his hands above his head as he yawned. The movement tugged his shirt upward, your eyes quickly darting to his abs, the small happy trail downward not helping with your still racing heart.

A small chuckle pulls you away, meeting his eyes shamefully before you quickly turn to sip from your mug as Shayne moves slowly toward the kitchen.

"Well, good morning, Y/N." He trailed off, his heartbeat matching yours as he smiled at you, you still not meeting his eyes. You hummed softly in acknowledgement, nodding towards the coffeepot, an empty mug sitting beside it.

"I've got a couple creamers in the fridge that you can help yourself to." You spoke quietly, still refusing to look at him.

Shayne chewed on his raw and chapped bottom lip as he moved around the counter, pouring his coffee to his liking as a silence fell over the two of you. As hesitantly approached the table, his mind finally helping him to decide the best way to go about this awkwardness, his phone buzzes in the coffee table.

He sighs softly, watching as you turn to the noise. Shayne grabs his cell, lan's name showing on the screen.

He declines the call, shooting a quick text to lan, asking him if it could wait. He felt like you two really needed to talk about last night, he wanted to assure you that he didn't think last night was anything short of friendly, nothing happened, it was nothing. He assumed the two of you were on the same page, he wouldn't have guessed that you were nervous that you had done something worth remembering, and now it was nothing.

lan quickly responded.

"Chanse is sick and we have to shoot today. can you please come in? the shooting schedule is gonna be fucked if we miss this"

Shayne sighed, running a hand through his hair as he shot a quick text back, telling lan to give him an hour and he'd be there. He turned to you, smiling as his eyes finally met yours.

Your mind and heart had both calmed a bit, trying your best to accept every possible outcome, roll with the punches. "I'm sorry." His heart hurt as he saw your smile falter at his words. "Chanse is sick, and -I, uh, gotta go shot for the channel." He trailed off, embarrassed to find himself the one refusing to look at you now.

He pocketed his phone before moving back toward the kitchen, chugging a bit of his coffee before placing his mug in the sink. Shayne found himself wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind you as you still sat in the chair a bit. You leaned into his chest, smiling.

Shayne placed a chaste kiss to the crown of your head, giving you a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, really.. text you later, okay?" Shayne spoke softly as you nodded. You chuckled a bit, tilting your head back to look up at him. He grinned down at you, laughing softly.

talk to you later. maybe." You chuckled, shrugging as you let your head fall forward again, hearing as Shayne chuckles, gathering his things before silently exiting. What the fuck was that? A kiss on the head? Was that just an excuse to get himself out of talking about it?

You groaned, letting your head rest on the tabletop.

You'd like to say you'd done a good job at distracting yourself from constantly thinking about Shayne and last night, but you'd be lying. You started a book sitting in your 'to be read' pile, and then you started a different one because the first wasn't helping. The second one wasn't better.

You settled on TV, throwing on a movie as you sat cuddled into your couch cushions. The same one's that you and Shayne had woken up On.

You did the dishes, only to find the empty mug he left behind before he rushed out of your door.

You didn't expect to spend your day off as a personified ball of anxiety but you can't pick your battles.

He said he would text you, too, but nothing. It'd been hours since he left with a promise of messaging you again.

He'd get to it, he was probably busy with his shooting. Or with whatever else he might be doing.

It's not a big deal, you're totally fine, he'll message you if he wants to, it's his loss if he doesn't.

Shayne felt like the day couldn't be longer, regretting leaving his phone at his desk throughout the shoot, desperately wanting to text you or call you, anything to make sure you were on the same page.

He couldn't stand seeing you like you were this morning, stuck inside your own head, seemingly weary about the situation. Shayne just wanted to make sure that nothing changes between you two over last night, not wanting to lose the little bit of you that you allow him to see.

He's been having a hard enough time with being your friend, he wasn't sure how bad he'd take it if he lost you entirely. Damien could tell something was off, Shayne was quiet after every shoot, barely doing more than reading the script.

Once they'd wrapped on the day, Damien had caught sight of Shayne quickly moving to wardrobe. He hadn't realized his friend quick on his heels until Damien had fallen into stride beside him.

"Shayne, why are we in such a hurry?" Damien asked as the two entered into the small room, grabbing their clothes to change into. Shayne quickly changed his shirt, thankful he wasn't in a full costume for the last shoot. Damien quickly changed after asking for Shayne to wait, surprised that he'd kept his Word.

"Im sorry, I just was in the middle of something this morning that I'd really like to get back to and finish up." Shayne tried his best to remain neutral, the irritation still evident on his face. know it's hard to talk, but so is hiding how you feel." Damien offered, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Okay, yeah let's.. let's go talk.." Shayne mumbled, heading towards his friends desk, hesitantly passing his own, his phone sitting patiently in the drawer. The two settled into their respective seats, few people around them.

kay, Damien, I'm just gonna say everything as best as can and we'll go from there, okay?" Shayne looked worried as he spoke, rubbing his hands on his thighs as Damien nods, giving Shayne the open air.

"Okay, so, Y/N and have been texting for a while, chatting a bit whenever go in, and think really like her. She doesn't see me that way, which is fine and respect it, like, she made it clear. Like, her and I rode together last night, I picked her up from her place, we were texting earlier and she asked if I was offering a ride so l'd have someone hot to show up with, Shayne found himself rambling quietly, his eyes avoiding Damien's as he spoke but he still saw his friend nodding along.

"I told her no, we joked around a little bit. Then when I picked her up she asked if she was playing the role of a fake girlfriend, then told her no again, and she said she wanted to play the role of just my friend." Shayne couldn't help but sigh as your words ran through his mind yet again.

"But... but then I had a great time with her, I took her home and she showed me around, she wanted me to stay and watch a movie, so agreed to one. Then she wanted to cuddle, she kept telling me how to move so she could be comfortable, then she laid on me and she fell asleep, and guess did too." He trailed off chewing his lip.

"This morning, she woke up before me and she didn't say a word until after lan called me, all she did was tell me goodbye. I haven't talked to her at all, and now I'm freaking out that she's just worried it changed our friendship. And I kissed her head this morning, Damien, I don't think that helped me at all. I can lose everything, I just can't lose her, yanno?" Shayne felt like he'd run a marathon once he finished talking, out of breath from everything he had to say. When he finally meets his friends eyes, he finds Damien with a small smile on his face. Damien was excited to finally hear about Shayne's crush, to hear how nervous his friend was about his feelings.

"So you're assuming that she's upset about it? Did you talk much either?" Damien questioned, shrugging after Shayne solemnly shakes his head. "So you were nervous for the complete opposite reason that you're assuming she was nervous for?"

Shayne groaned, rubbing his face. He sat in silence for a few minutes, his mind rattled. "Okay, the issue still lies that there's something her and need to talk about, that is obvious, but feel like it's something that needs to happen in person, but don't know if she'd want to see me or."

"Okay, hold on. What if you just text her asking to come over, or invite her over for dinner or something? A way to show her that you care and want to make sure she knows it Damien argued, hoping that you two would quickly overcome whatever issue sat between you.

Shayne sat with his head in his hands, groaning softly as he thought it over, hoping for another option to pop into his mind.

"Yeah.. yeah guess that's worth a shot."

"hey, wanna come over for dinner tn? we're done shooting so it'd probably be in a couple hours, if you're down"

What the fuck? That's all you get? A part of you was angry with Shayne's first message to you, time stamped at 4:57PM.

Okay, he was busy at work, and maybe he wants to talk? That's what this was, that's all. You were going to ask what happened, he was going to tell you, damage control from there. It Would be fine.

"hey, yeah I'm down, send me your addy and see you in a bit "

You found yourself stressing as you dug through your closet in desperate search for anything that felt right to you. So far you'd narrowed down the jeans, ripped black denim, and were searching for a top. Eventually you setle on a cropped graphic tee, assuming that dinner as his place would be casual.

You were admittedly very nervous. You didn't want to assume the worst, but the thought that you could've done something to change Shayne's perception of you was scaring you.

You took your time with your hair and makeup, hoping to calm your nerves with the distractions before you drove to Shayne's apartment.

When you had finally found a parking spot, you exit your car to find Shayne smiling from his balcony, offering you a small wave before he headed inside.

You chuckled softly as you headed upstairs, finding him standing in his doorway, a smirk on your lips.

"Were you waiting on me? thought that was my job." You poke, laughing softly as Shayne steps aside, inviting you in. You slip off your shoes as you glance around his apartment, taking in his simple decor. "Don't worry, I won't give youa drunken tour." Shayne chuckles, winking at you before he heads into the kitchen. You tried to match his chuckle, an awkward feeling settling over you. Did you give him a tour of your apartment last night? Your bathroom was a disorganized mess and your room didn't look much better; you wanted to turn around and leave. You thought you two could talk and everything would be fine, but maybe acting like you two never met would be easier than this embarrassment.

Shayne stood at the stove, stirring a pot before he motioned you to sit at one of the barstools near him.

"Do you like spaghetti? I'm not a great cook, but make a very mediocre spaghetti." Shayne smiled as he faced you for a second before turning to grab plates.

"Spaghetti's good, very reliable dish so respect that move." You laughed, realizing that you two would talk when the time is right, enjoy whatever happens until then.

Shayne plated your dishes, offering you an array of drinks before moving to sit with you on the couch. The two of you settled in, eating quietly as some music played off of the TV.

After a few songs played, you set your plate on the coffee table, sitting back as you chewed your lip. You couldn't stop you mind from racing with the silence between the two of you.

"You okay?" Shayne asked softly, noticing your fidgeting, moving to set his plate next to yours. "Shayne, okay," you turn, spinning to face Shayne, your back against the armrest. As you open your mouth to speak, he copies you, mirroring your searing with raised brows.

"Okay, I want to say I'm sorry, I'm really sorry; want you to know that I'm so embarrassed about this but, I don't remember some of last night." You looked to him with worried eyes searching his face for any kind of emotion.

"Wait, what do you remember, then?" Shayne adjusted himself, sitting a bit upright. Every way he expected tonight to go just blew away in the wind, he never once thought that you didn't remember it.

You widened your eyes a bit as you read his tense body language, fearing you may have done exactly what you thought.

"I remember leaving the bar, I remember getting into the car, and I remember you asking me what thought about everyone; I have like fuzzy bits and pieces, like know you walked me upstairs and there was a movie playing. The next thing I remember was waking up in your arms." You couldn't help but chuckle a bit, hoping you'd feel weight off of your shoulders, but instead you just felt worse.

"Okay." Shayne said after a few beats of silence as he meets your eyes, your concern visible. "Do you want me to tell you what happened?" You nodded your head, fearing your voice might fail you at this point.

"We got to your apartment and wanted to walk you upstairs to make sure you got in okay, but you held my arm and invited me. You brought me around your apartment, showing me your room for a few seconds before you went to the couch. I said I was gonna leave, but we agreed to watch a movie, and we did." Shayne noticed how embarrassed you felt, leaving out a few details at the end to spare you at least a small amount of your dignity. You sighed deeply, shaking your head a bit.

"Shayne, why'd we wake up like that, though?" Everything felt right in Shayne's telling, but it felt like something was missing.

"Well, alright. You wanted to cuddle when sat with you, then you just told me how should sit, then you told me to lay down and you laid on me." Shayne smiled, biting back a nervous laugh.

You feel a giggle building as you watch Shayne cover his mouth. Quickly the two of you fall into laughter.

You had to laugh in disbelief at your actions, you were embarrassed, but no where near as badly as you thought you'd be. Shayne was laughing as he still wasn't over just how this played out, he never could've guessed you spent your day confused and probably anxious over the unknown.

Once you both had settled, taking deep breaths, you found yourself launching towards Shayne with open arms, pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you, Shayne. That's no where near as bad as thought it was going to be." You buried your face into his shoulder, his arms around your waist as your continued.

"I thought we had slept together or something."

Shayne tensed, his laughter faltering a bit at your words as he felt his body tense. After another squeeze, you pull away, sitting back as you had been previously.

"Tm not saying that like we would, yanno, sleep together, that's why I'm glad to know." You trailed off awkwardly, shaking your head as you smiled at Shayne.

He'd felt that pain of rejection in his chest again. You were that worried because you thought you'd slept together. You really, really didn't want him to think that you wanted that. But you did, and your eyes raking over his body was a giveaway in your mind, but was confusing in his mind. The two of you fell into a more comfortable silence, letting each other process their feelings. Shayne trying his best to ignore his pain as he offers you a soft smiling, asking about throwing on a movie. You both settle into the couch, a bit of deja vu hitting both of you, despite the gab betwe your bodies.

You find yourself initiating small touches with Shayne, your hand resting on his thigh each time you laugh at something, sitting closer when you return from the bathroom, leaning into his side.

Once Shayne places his arm over your shoulders, holding you close to him, he starts to think maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea. His mind starts to wander, thoughts of his nails digging gently into the soft skin of your hips, your nails dragging down his back, his lips leaving trails between your thighs.

"Did you hear me?" Shayne looks to you, brows furrowed as he shakes his head, willing to admit he'd been a bit distracted. said I'm probably gonna head home since the movies over" you nod toward the screen before leaning up, pressing you lips softly to his cheek before rising.

The two of you were in an awkward limbo of small touches and displays of affection, words left unspoken when fngers linger, or when hugs last a bit longer than needed. You hoped you left Shayne with the impression you wanted to; you liked Shayne's company and found him attractive, he could take that information and do what he pleases.

All Shayne was really left with as he watches your car pull out from the parking spot was confusion. He wanted to give you space, keep his distance so as to not scare you, but you just wanted to do the opposite.

He'll see you tomorrow and try to wrap his head around you, figure out what you want from him.

Maybe.

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