#also i will point out most of the stuff arthur is afraid of is entirely reasonable. everything wants to maim and kill him

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

fuming over that person who was like “obviously arthur’s worst and most prominent character trait is cowardice” like yes ok he is a coward but also what about the STUBBORNNESS. what about the CONCERNING levels of obsession and fixation. this is “invents his own new arm” “manhunting his best friend across the state” arthur we’re talking about. if he isn’t going to laser focus on something until he runs himself into the ground he’s just not cc sorry

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

r u open for sum douxie requests? Him Falling in love with king arthur's daughter💕who's innocent n kind but she isn't happy at camelot she wants to be independent n arthur's like NOPE so she runs away n meets douxie again centuries later n is now a total badass witch but she's sarcastic n mean cuz girl has been THROUGH IT😔 but slowly she warms up to him n falls in love with him all over again cuz with douxie she cant help but be soft💕😭 *u can ignore this ask if u want my English is bad😅*

i absolutely loved this request! i think i did things a bit differently but i'm a sucker for love and i couldn't help it lol. i loved writing this, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it!

•••

Back To You (Douxie x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: none i think

Genre: Fluff, some angst

Fandom: Tales of Arcadia, Wizards

Summary: See request

Word Count: 3379

Reader uses she/her pronouns!

•••

Being king Arthur’s daughter was already hard enough, but being a witch didn’t make things easier. (Y/N) loved magic, even if her father wasn’t a huge fan of it. She started taking an interest in it at a very young age, and her own aunt ended up being her teacher.

As (Y/N) got older, her magic grew stronger as well and even though she knew her father loved her, she could also see the way he looked at her sometimes; he looked at her like she was a stranger, a monster even.

Life in the palace was always a bit boring. The princess didn’t have many friends and most of the time would end up feeling lonely. But that all changed once Merlin decided to get a new apprentice.

They hit it off right away. (Y/N) was excited to have someone around her age close to her and the boy was happy to be surrounded by so many talented people.

But of course, he was a bit nervous about being so close to the princess at first, and he didn’t really understand why she was around so much until he saw her do magic. He was mesmerized and extremely surprised, to say the least.

‘’I didn’t know you could do that,’’ he said once the girl was done with her spell.

‘’What do you mean?’’ The girl asked.

‘’Well, you’re the princess and everyone in the kingdom knows that but it’s not known that you can do magic,’’ he explained.

‘’Oh,’’ she murmured, a bit sad but not surprised. ‘’Well, my father doesn’t really like magic so I guess he’s always been a bit disappointed at my love for it.’’

‘’Come on, why don’t we take a walk around the castle?’’ He offered, trying to cheer her up.

Their friendship grew stronger with every passing day, and it didn’t take long for the young boy to start developing feelings for the sweet princess. She was a really powerful witch but she still had her feet on the ground and remained kind as always; he loved that about her. He also loved her smile and the way she made him feel when they were together.

(Y/N) could tell that there was something going on with her friend; she noticed how nervous he got when she was around, the way he stuttered and blushed. She thought that it was very cute, and it didn’t take her long to realize why he’d been acting like that. But she was still afraid of being wrong, so even though she also had feelings for the boy, she remained silent.

They were oblivious about the way they felt about each other, but everyone else wasn’t. They pretty much acted like a couple already to the eyes of strangers, and also to the eyes of the king.

The relationship between Arthur and his daughter had never been worse. The more she practiced her magic, the more they grew apart. They’d barely talk to each other. (Y/N) hated this, she wanted to be close to her father, but she knew that it would be useless to try to work things out; her father disapproved of anything she did or said. She was supposed to learn how to be a proper princess and future queen, and soon it would be time for her to get married. So of course, her closeness to Merlin’s apprentice was alarming to Arthur, and he decided to confront her at dinner one night.

‘’So, tell me about this apprentice boy,’’ he said to her. He’d requested to have dinner alone with her, and they were seated face to face with each other.

‘’His name is Hisirdoux,’’ she mentioned. ‘’And is this what you wanted to talk about? My friend?’’

‘’Well, he’s not just your friend, right? Rumors travel fast inside the castle, my dear.’’

‘’We’re just friends,’’ she mumbled loud enough for the king to hear.

‘’You sound almost disappointed at those words,’’ he pointed out. He made a pause to drink some of his wine and then he looked at his daughter. ‘’I don’t like him.’’

‘’Here we go…,’’ she sighed and sank in her seat, not wanting to hear what her dad was about to say.

‘’He’s a wizard apprentice, (Y/N). Could you imagine what people would say if you even thought about being with him?’’

‘’What does it matter what people think? I can do magic, too, father. I know you’ve been hiding it from the rest of the kingdom, hiding me. I’m tired of being a secret, of not being myself.’’

‘’For the sake of the kingdom, you should get married to an appropriate suitor.’’

‘’For the sake of the kingdom? Why don’t you just admit that you can’t accept the fact that I’m a witch, father? Are you really that ashamed of me? Or are you actually afraid?’’ The princess said in a defying tone.

‘’Young lady-.’’

‘’No, you’re not gonna do this anymore,’’ she interrupted him. ‘’Why can’t you just accept me? It’s like you don’t even want me to be happy. Magic makes me happy, Douxie makes me happy and I’m tired of you trying to control me just because you can’t accept people who are different!’’ (Y/N) got up from her seat and started walking away.

‘’Where do you think you’re going?’’ Yelled her father.

She stopped walking for a second to turn around and look at him. ‘’Away from you,’’ she answered. What he didn’t know was that she really meant it; she would go as far away as possible.

…

Once she got to her room, she started packing some of her stuff, and when she was done she decided to write a letter. She knew she would go and say goodbye to Douxie, but she wanted him to know some things that she wouldn’t be able to say out loud.

A couple of minutes later, she was ready to go, to leave that place for good. It was late at night but she knew her friend would still be awake, so she decided to head over to his room. Just as she was about to walk out of her room for the last time, she heard some guards approaching. The princess cursed to herself but quickly remembered that there was another way for her to leave without being noticed, Douxie’s room and hers were connected by some secret tunnels they’d made with magic a while back, tunnels that extended throughout the entire castle.

Once she reached the boy’s door, she started knocking like crazy. Douxie opened the door almost immediately and even though he was happy to see her, he could tell that there was something wrong.

‘’(Y/N), what���s wrong?’’

‘’I’m afraid we don’t have time for that, Douxie. I don’t really know how to say this but I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving,’’ she said.

‘’What? Where?’’

‘’I don’t know, to be honest. Somewhere my father won’t find me, somewhere I can be free.’’

He was shocked, to say the least. Deep down, he knew she wasn’t happy with her life in the castle, but this news still surprised him. ‘’I’m going with you,’’ he said and started looking for some stuff to pack. She grabbed him by his shoulders and stopped him.

‘’No, Douxie. I can’t let you do that, okay? You still have a lot to learn from Merlin, I know you have potential and I just can’t take this opportunity for you.’’

‘’But I want to be with you, wherever you go.’’

‘’Trust me, there’s nothing I’d want more, but we can’t,’’ she paused to take a deep breath; she could already feel the tears forming in her eyes. ‘’I wrote you a letter, there are some things I’d like you to know.’’ She grabbed the piece of paper and handed it to him.

‘’(Y/N), please…’’ He begged, he didn’t even know what he was begging for, he just knew that the situation they were in was extremely unfair.

‘’I know my father will be here any minute with his guards, you have to pretend like you haven’t seen me, okay?’’ Her tears were already falling down her cheeks, and so were his. She grabbed the boy’s hands and looked him in the eye. ‘’Promise me you’ll do that, Douxie. You have to act like you have no idea about me suddenly disappearing, yeah?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ he nodded. ‘’I promise, (Y/N).’’

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist, holding on to each other as if their lives depended on it. When they pulled apart, they pressed their foreheads together.

‘’Thank you for everything, Douxie. I’ll miss you so much.’’

‘’I’ll miss you, too, (Y/N).’’ They finally pulled away and she walked over to his door, hoping no one would see her. She opened it a little and when she saw that no one was around, she knew it was time to leave. The girl looked back to Douxie one last time and smiled at him. When she was about to leave, she heard the boy speak. ‘’I will find you, (Y/N). I won’t stop until I do, I promise.’’

‘’I can only hope you will,’’ she said before walking away.

…

(Y/N) was right, it didn’t take long for the king and his guards to get to his room. They were looking for the princess, but she was nowhere to be found, and Douxie was just as oblivious to the situation as everyone else.

After the guards made sure she wasn’t hidden in his room, they left. As soon as the door was closed, the boy fell to the floor. He brought his knees to his chest and started crying; he just couldn’t believe what had happened. He couldn’t believe his favorite person was gone.

He knew she was a witch, a powerful one, which meant she’d be able to live for a long time, just like him, but the world was a huge place and deep down he knew there was the possibility of never seeing her again.

Douxie tried to calm himself down, took some deep breaths, and ran his hands through his hair. Then, he remembered the letter, the last piece of her that he had.

He grabbed it and quickly opened it. First, he admired her handwriting, beautiful as always and then he started reading.

Dear Douxie,

If you’re reading this, it means that I’ve finally left. Deep down I think we all knew the palace wasn’t my place, I just never belonged inside these walls, but that doesn’t erase how much it hurts me to leave you.

You changed my life, Douxie, turned all the black and white into full colour, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. You’re so important to me, I don’t think you understand how much you matter to me. You were my first real friend, you taught me what it meant to fully trust someone with your entire heart… and I guess you also taught me what love is. It’d be useless to try and hide it any longer, it’s been a while since there was something more than just a friendship between us. I wish I’d been brave enough to tell you sooner, to do something about it, but I didn’t. All I can say right now is that I love you, that I’m in love with you and that I’ll do anything I can to go back to you; I mean it, Douxie, I won’t stop until we’re together again because I know in my heart that these feelings will never go away, you mean the world to me.

Thank you for always being there when I needed you.

(Y/N).

Douxie didn’t know when he’d started crying, but he couldn’t stop. He covered his mouth with his hand to silence a sob, and then he wiped some tears off his face.

‘’I love you, too, (Y/N), and I’ll find you, no matter what,’’ he mumbled, making a promise to her once again, and also to himself.

...

900 years later

(Y/N) was just walking around the streets of Arcadia, minding her own business when suddenly she bumped into someone.

‘’Oh, I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful,’’ she said, apologizing to the person in front of her.

She barely even paid attention to the whole situation and was ready to keep walking, but she stopped in her tracks when she heard a voice. The same voice she’d dreamt about hearing again, the same voice she’d missed ever since that day in the castle. He only said her name, but that was enough for her heart to start racing.

(Y/N) turned around and their eyes locked, time seemed to have stopped. She barely had any time to properly react before his arms were wrapped around her body, and instinctively her arms did the same thing.

‘’Please tell me this is not a dream,’’ he said once they pulled apart.

‘’Douxie,’’ she mumbled, still unable to believe that it was really him. He let out a sigh when he heard her; he missed hearing her say his nickname, the one she’d given to him, the one he ended up using all the time because it reminded him of her.

‘’It’s me, (Y/N), I’m here. I said I would find you, that’s what kept me going for so long.’’ He said, truly speaking from the heart.

‘’I started losing hope a long time ago, to be honest,’’ she said. She wanted to hug him again, to tell him how much she’d missed him and how she was still head over heels for him, but she couldn’t. The past had changed her, she had to change in order to survive and she’d learned to be afraid of trusting people, even the ones she loved the most.

‘’What are you even doing here, though?’’

‘’I honestly don’t know, I just kind of ended up here I guess.’’

There was a pause between them. It all happened so fast, just a few minutes ago the hope of seeing each other again was nonexistent.

‘’I missed you so much, (Y/N). There’s so much I want to talk about and so much I want to hear from you. I-I can’t believe it’s really you.’’ She smiled at him, not really knowing what to answer. ‘’I still have your letter, there hasn’t been a day in which I didn’t think about it and what you said in it.’’

(Y/N) opened her eyes. She thought about that later almost every day, also remembering her words, her confession.

Douxie noticed that there was something wrong, it was evident in her silence, in how tense she seemed. He tried to grab her hand but she refused, taking a small step backward.

‘’Hey, what’s wrong?’’ He didn’t get an answer, just a scared and worried look in response. ‘’Look, do you think you could meet me after work tonight? I’d like to catch up with you and talk about everything, I guess.’’

‘’I- uh, I don’t know, I-.’’

‘’Please, (Y/N). I think we owe it to each other.’’

She took a deep breath and made eye contact with him for a split second. ‘’Okay, tell me where do you work.’’

…

Douxie’s shift was about to end. He was nervous, he couldn’t wait to see her again. When they saw each other earlier, he noticed she was acting a bit weird. Of course, he hadn’t seen her for nine centuries, but that wasn’t the (Y/N) he remembered. She was different, distant and cold. Deep down, he even thought if maybe he’d already lost her, nine hundred years was a long time after all.

He was closing the restaurant when he saw the girl approaching him.

‘’Hey,’’ she said once they were face to face.

‘’Hi, I’m glad you came.’’ There was a small silence between them. (Y/N) started playing with her fingers, trying to calm herself down. ‘’Listen, I know it’s late but would you like to walk around while we talk?’’

‘’Of course, yeah.’’ They immediately started walking.

‘’I have so much I want to say, but first I wanna hear about you, (Y/N). What have you been up to?’’

‘’Well, trying to put these last nine centuries into words would be a bit difficult. I haven’t been doing much, really, just trying to hide my magic from everyone, seems like I’ll always have to.’’ She mumbled the last part, but he could still hear her. It was evident she was talking about her father, who she hadn't seen since that night in the castle. ‘’What about you?’’

‘’Pretty much the same thing, I guess. I don’t usually stay that much in the same place, though. You know, always looking the same could raise suspicion.’’

‘’Yeah, tell me about it. After a while some people just start spying on you because they know there's something going on, or at least that happened to me.’’

They reached a bench and decided to sit down. (Y/N) tried to keep a bit of distance between them, something that the boy noticed, and he tried to hide his sad expression at the girls' action. They stayed quiet for a bit, the girl admired the stars while also allowing herself to enjoy the boy's company, even if deep down she knew she shouldn't have.

"I'm in love with you, too," said Douxie, breaking the silence and immediately creating a bit of tension in the air. "I still do, and I know I always will; my biggest regret is not telling you sooner, when we were together back in the castle." The girl opened her mouth to say something but Douxie didn't let her, he grabbed one of her hands and slowly caressed it before he kept talking. "Finding you is what kept me going for so long, I said it earlier, but it's true. This may seem like I'm trying to rush things but I think we've been apart for too long to keep waiting, (Y/N)."

He slowly grabbed her face and ran a finger along her cheek, pulling her closer to him, but she pulled away. "I can't, Douxie. I truly can't."

"What do you mean? Did you find someone else? Do you not love me anymore? It's okay if you don't, nine centuries is a long time-."

"I do still feel things for you, but these last years have been very hard, Douxie. I've learnt not to trust people, even those closest to me. Please, don't take this personally, it's not your fault."

He slowly nodded and then made eye contact with her. "I understand, I know how you're feeling, trust me. I also understand if you're not ready, and I would wait for you for a hundred lifetimes, my dear."

"I want to be ready, Douxie, I truly do. I want to be with you, it's what I've wanted ever since we'd walk around the castle, running away from Merlin or my father." She paused for a bit, taking a deep breath; it's like she was at war with herself, she'd been for a long time, but she was tired of fighting, of hiding, she wanted to let her walls down. "Maybe we could take things slowly," she said. They looked at each other and he caressed her cheek once again.

"Of course, my love, anything you need."

She leaned on his hand and closed her eyes, enjoying his warmth after so many years. "Would you kiss me?" she asked.

He simply grabbed her face and slowly pulled her closer to him, and finally their lips touched.

"I love you so much, (Y/N)," he whispered once they pulled away.

"I love you, too, Douxie."

They sat side by side and the girl rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her. They didn't say anything, they didn't have to, they both knew what they were feeling at that moment. They were finally complete, and it was like every single bad thing they had to go through was worth it, because it had led them to that moment, to their encounter.

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

70 Fred Weasley headcanons in celebration of 700 followers:

(plus an extra one, for the heck of it lmao) 

You guys, thank you so much for 700 followers! I appreciate every single one of you and writing for the twins has been such a blast so far, much to the thanks of all of you <3 

Find the 70 George Headcanons: Here

Fred has always been really good at sleight of hand stuff, as a kid, he could do card tricks with ease, steal baked goods from his mother’s kitchen and later on since his allowance wasn’t exactly anything to brag about, he’d steal sweets from honeydukes' on Hogsmeade trips, with the help of George, he’s not proud of it but in his defence, he was a stupid teenage boy at the time. 

Fred is incredibly competitive and will hold onto anything you challenge him to for way longer than you might think. He’s definitely the type to “race you” anytime you’re headed to herbology, care against magical creatures or Hogsmeade together.

As the man himself said in the deathly hallows, Fred doesn’t like the idea of a big grandiose wedding ceremony, he’d prefer something more low-key and simple, where the focus is more on having fun and celebrating instead of neat seating plans and meticulously chosen decorations. Some flowers and booze will do, he’ll provide the fireworks - In essence, he only needs his S/O and the rest he couldn’t care less about. 

George may be better at cooking, but Fred makes a damn good pancake and he will forever pride himself on that. 

Fred is the more jealous, overprotective twin. He’s aware of this and tries his best not to let it go to his head but he can’t help it. 

Fred snores, I’m pretty sure it’s canon that both twins snore, but Fred is louder and, as mentioned in my last headcanon post, a very heavy sleeper meaning it’s more difficult to get him to wake up so he can stop, your best shot is trying (and probably failing) to turn him over. 

Fred is also a very restless sleeper, he’ll toss and turn, and occasionally dream about quidditch. I’m saying you might want to be aware that he might confuse you for a bludger in his sleep, don’t worry though, he’ll always apologise profusely and make it up to you with a lot of kisses (and maybe a bit more than that, if you’re keen ;)) 

Fred has an extensive caffeine addiction, which is unfortunate cause he’s quite hyper already but he can’t function properly until he gets his coffee in the morning, and then again in between lessons/at lunch and then again late in the afternoon. Sometimes, if he needed to write an essay that was due, he’d drink coffee at like nine pm. He knows he won’t be able to sleep because of it, please, Y/n, he’s accepted his fate. 

I personally always imagined the twins as having ADHD, idk why it just fits their characters. Fred is for sure the more outwardly fidgety and intrusive, this gets less and less with age, as it does for a lot of ADHD people, his inability to focus remains the same though. 

Fred loves being outside, he’s the first of the Weasley siblings to suggest a game of quidditch or just going outside for walks, hide and seek in the woods near their house. He absolutely loves taking his dates on walks in parks or at the beach and when he has kids he plays with them in their yard, building snowmen etc. 

Fred probably suggests at some point that the whole family should go camping, and he’s actually really fun to camp with. He’ll tell the best scary stories by the campfire. 

In regards to children, Fred wants a lot of kids. Like at least three but would be willing to have more if his s/o wants to. He just really likes the dynamic of a large family since that’s what he’s used to. 

Fred’s favourite flavour of sweets is anything sour, the sourer the better, because of this he can handle it really well and he loves handing people some of his ridiculously sour candy and watching them squirm. 

He also really likes spicy food, he’s a bit of a daredevil so don’t challenge him to eat anything because he will eat a whole chilli and nearly die. 

 You know he’d be really casual about it too, lol, like sweating and crying but just leaning on the counter like “*pant* what? hot? no not at all *deeeeep breath* I can ha-aw-rdly taste it!” 

One thing about Fred is that he’s oddly squeamish, like seeing his brother’s ear blown off isn’t so bad (if you don’t take into account the emotional trauma that is), but a needle for a blood sample or a vaccine? oooh, he’s gonna need a big juice box and a cookie and his s/o’s hand to hold if he’s gonna make it through. He also has a thing about leeches. One time at Hogwarts they were mentioned in a lesson and he thought he was going to faint the entire time. 

Fred’s broken five bones over the years, four are from quidditch: his left arm and two ribs, and then the other arm from trying to do an elaborate stunt on the stairs in the burrow and falling down two flights. 

Fred loves to sing karaoke (because I cannot get that damn clip of James singing karaoke out of my head) though he particularly enjoys doing a very poor job on purpose. 

Fred is such a good liar that on several occasions he’s given presentations in school and gotten good marks for them despite having bullshat his way through the entire thing. 

Like seriously, he’s that guy in the group project who only looks at the slides like five minutes before the presentation and then just turns on a full charming newscaster voice on the professor to the point of them being genuinely convinced (albeit a little confused) that what Fred’s saying is true. 

This is also why Fred loves playing card games like poker: he’s really good at bluffing. 

Speaking of poker-face, he’s really quite good at teasing in public (if you’re into that sort of thing *wink*) because no matter the dirty deeds he might get up to under a table, his face remains as regular as always (safe for a little smirk to his lover every now and then) 

Fred always wanted to learn an instrument, he thought it’d make him cooler when he was a teenager, as an adult, he just really wants to recreate that clip of the trombone-playing dad with the sunglasses, or maybe serenade some cows with jazz or something. 

Fred was never a big fan of the uniform thing, so he always tried to make it his own, whether that be tying the tie differently, or having his sleeves rolled up; it’s not much but you gotta take what you can get when you’re literally dressed the same as everyone else. 

Fred might make fun of his dad’s interest in muggle things but secretly he loves it too. He has spent a lot of hours in the shed with Arthur, assuring everyone that it was just to have some quality time with his dad but he would still pay close attention when Arthur explained things to him. 

Fred had a whole business of selling candy from Honeydukes’ and joke products from Zonko’s to second and first years before he and George started dabbling with their own products, he could get you a butterbeer too but it’ll cost you an extra three galleons. 

Fred really likes glitter, George has a thing for lace, anything that glitters on his s/o makes Fred weak. If you want to get your way just put on some glittery eyeshadow or lipgloss and watch him spin. 

Since he loves things that glitter and gleam he loves buying his s/o jewellery, he loves seeing them wearing them as little tokens of their relationship. 

Did someone say slight possession kink? oops not me

Fred is incredible with numbers, this is pretty much canon and has been explored but I’m just amazed at this boy’s wit AND intellect. I have a slight headcanon that if he ever goes on a proper first date with someone where a bill is involved, he impresses his date by calculating the tip after just a glance.

Even if Fred has a longstanding reputation of not caring about school, when he has kids he does want to help them with any coursework over the summer and Christmas breaks, he’ll even study up on his old books just to be able to help out in any classes he didn’t take/didn’t pay attention in. 

Fred would, in general, be an amazing father. He’s goofy and playful most of the time, though he’s serious and incredibly caring whenever his kids are in a bad mood or have problems. He knows that he’s not the most outwardly emotional of the twins but he makes sure his kids know they can always talk to him about anything. 

Fred is incredibly messy. His room is usually a cry for help and he only cleans it when it gets to the point where it distracts him from focusing on work. 

No worries though, his S/O doesn’t have to do all the housework for him, he’ll do it. He just needs to be reminded that he needs to every once in a while. 

Fred has a really bad temper, he doesn’t know where he gets it from but he tends to get angry easier than George, though Fred is better at letting it out so it doesn’t continue to bother him. 

His bad temper does mean that he used to brawl more with siblings as a kid, and it wasn’t unusual to see him with scrapes and bruises as a kid, much to Molly’s dismay. Fred didn’t mind though, he thought it made him look tough. 

Fred is more likely to get caught sneaking around because of his brash nature, he tends to forget just how quiet you have to be to avoid Mrs Norris in the corridors. 

Fred is certainly not an early bird but his favourite time of day is, in fact, the morning when the sun’s coming up. He only knows this because of Wood’s ridiculously early quidditch practices but there’s something about the way the world looks when it’s bathed in soft golden light that just hits different to Fred. 

Fred is a great team player, as much as he seems like he’s more selfish than George, if it’s regarding a team activity (like quidditch or a battle of sorts) he’ll completely lose all focus on himself and only try to ensure other’s safety and victory. This is also why he plays as a beater, he’s not afraid of getting hit at all when he’s focused on getting the bludgers away from his teammates. 

So if his s/o ever needs it, he’ll be there to help with anything: Needs to take a day off from work to take care of his sick s/o? no problem. Needs to stay up with his small child because his s/o is exhausted and needs rest? On it. Something as small as carrying groceries or books, making a cup of tea when the other is busy or doing the dishes is all on the list of things that Fred will happily do for his s/o, and often without having to be asked, he’ll just do it. 

Fred’s boggart is seeing his family members and/or his s/o hurt beyond what he can save. Essentially his worst fear is being helpless when he needs it most. 

One of those times was when George lost his ear. The first night when George was lying practically unconscious on the couch with blood everywhere was the worst night of Fred’s life, he truly felt so anxious and helpless and angry that he vomited and ended up passing out next to the couch after staying up till sunrise watching his brother like a hawk. 

He didn’t just sleepwalk when he was younger, he also often experienced nightmares, it’s only George, Molly and Arthur who remembers anything about this. 

They got less and less the older he got and he assumed that he’d never be bothered by them again until after the second wizarding war and the battle of Hogwarts. 

I don’t like to headcanon that he dies cause he didn’t and that’s final lol. I do, however, headcanon that Fred still gets hurt, since everyone in the explosion beside him seemed to sustain minor injuries, I just think that to even out with George losing his ear, he hurts his leg and needs a lot of retraining/a walking stick. I think that’d be a more fair/unfair ending for Fred who’s always full of energy having to have to adjust to living slowly for a little while (not permanently, I couldn’t do that to my boy). 

The boy has anxiety sometimes, ok. (just let me project for a second)

He didn’t know how much tension he usually holds in his body until he drank alcohol for the first time and felt his entire body loosen up and was like “huh this is new.” 

He doesn’t use alcohol to deal with it though, he prefers just talking to George about whenever he feels is stressing him out and that helps. A massage from his s/o to loosen him up doesn’t hurt either. 

Fred prefers to talk to his dad about his problems more than he prefers to talk to Molly, generally. 

His favourite body parts on his s/o: Shoulders, hips, hands. 

He loves to kiss, just in general, but he also loves kissing his s/o’s nose, forehead, neck, shoulder, etc. as little gestures of affection. 

He def. has a bit of a size kink, he loves being taller than his s/o. 

If Fred could have any pet he wanted, he’d probably want a dog, the bigger the better. He doesn’t think he has the time for a pet though. 

It was his idea to start breeding pygmy puffs, it’s the closest he’ll get to having a pet. 

I don’t know why but I feel like when Fred and his s/o are expecting and his s/o goes into labour he just panics. loses it, drops the binkie as we say in Denmark: Freaks the fuck out, if you will. He’s definitely the pacing and wringing his hands together type, though he probably tries his best to keep himself composed and chill during the whole thing whilst simultaneously hyperventilating. 

Fred doesn’t cry often but he sure as hell wept with pride when he held all his kids for the first time. 

Despite the notion that the twins often slip in a joke version of a sweet treat or something similar amongst the snacks at parties, Fred is strongly against tampering with drinks. He knows the connotations it holds and he doesn’t want anyone to be afraid they’d put something in it. If he wants you to test out their truth serum or a love potion, he’ll just ask you flat out and if you don’t want to, he’s not going to continue asking. 

Most of the detentions Fred has gotten from Snape come from times he’s spoken back to him when Snape’s been giving another student a rough time. He doesn’t regret it one bit. 

 If you ask Fred what his proudest accomplishment is, he’ll probably say that it’s having had enough restraint to not punch Umbridge in the face every time he saw her. 

On the note of Umbridge. It wasn’t her detentions with him that got his blood boiling, it was when she punished little kids (a la Nigel) for doing practically nothing, he understands that to an extent and by comparison, setting off a bunch of fireworks inside a building would harbour a harsher punishment, but making twelve-year-olds bleed for running in the halls or playing music or just doing things that twelve-year-olds will inevitably do, is something Fred doesn’t understand. That year pretty much any kid younger than him, or anyone who was too afraid to stand up for themselves, became Fred and George’s little siblings, and they’re very protective older brothers. Umbridge can vouch for that. 

He struggles with a lot of insecurity in his relationships, he always puts on a front of being extra funny and outgoing when he’s in a new relationship because he’s secretly afraid that the way he is isn’t good enough and that eventually, his s/o will see through him and leave because they don’t like the softer, more serious side of him. 

Fred is the godfather of all of George’s kids but is also the godparent of Hugo, Lily and Lucy. 

Fred loves business meetings, he sees them as a good challenge to practice his smooth talk. 

Fred spent his first salary from the shop on the most expensive bottle of champagne he could find and a new suit. 

Fred tried to get into whiskey, feeling like it’d make him a cool business owner type of man, so, with his second salary, he went out and bought a fancy-schmancy bottle of whiskey and the whole getup with a bottle and some cool glasses, and then invited Lee over to try it with him and George. 

They did not like it. Fred thought it tasted like what he imagined gasoline tastes like so they mostly used it as decorations, not having the heart to mix it with something. 

Fred doesn’t necessarily like PDA, it depends on what you mean. He likes being secretive. Pulling his s/o into an empty classroom, nook, hallway, secret pathway etc where anyone could wander in at any time and snogging her senseless is one of his favourite things to do. 

Fred knows how good he looks in his quidditch uniform and will absolutely use it against his s/o. (they’re gonna get spicy from here on so read with caution if you're in public)

Fred prefers giving more than receiving oral. 

He has a lot of energy, did you not think that would rub off (no pun intended) on his sex drive? He can go pretty much any time and place, and typically last at least two rounds. 

Also, his favourite position is having you on top. Okay, I'm gonna stop now. 

[heliosthegriffin]

The Adventures of Shota Jaune, Ep II

Chapter Two

---------

Two Months have passed.

---------

The last couple of months had been absolutely wild for Vernal.

First, the woman she respected the most and thought was the strongest in the world was beaten by three children... and Vernal, after it turned out Raven was a complete psycho bitch. In a moment of sheer panic she had just swore allegiance to the strongest thing in the vicinity. The little aura monster that had knocked her old boss's teeth out.

Jaune Arc aka The Boss

It had been a whirlwind of a week, getting her own room with new clothes and an actual bed, people who seemed to care about her, three meals a day and a completely stocked kitchen and someone to follow that wasn’t a complete psycho.

That was the good stuff, that was what kept her going. That and if she wanted to be the world's strongest Huntress it was probably a good idea to train under a actual huntsman, and who was training the human equivalent of a Fire Dust Bomb. While Vernal didn’t consider herself Branwen anymore, the ideals didn’t fade.

‘Nature has only one rule; The Strong owns the Weak.’ Her old mentor’s words came to her again.

Vernal scowled. ‘So much for being the strongest huntress there is.’

Her time at the Arc House had really opened her eyes toward how big the world actually is. 

Raven was strong, really strong. She was a former Huntress and Beacon Alumni, she was fast, strong, high aura levels and control, along with a versatile semblance that made long distance travel her bitch. All of that, to top of all that, to just further put herself outside of the realms of warriors and huntress and huntsman she had Maiden Powers, fucking magic.

But, she lost, not just, because there's always either a hard counter, or a bigger fish, that wasn’t the only reason. Despite her power, despite her being the most notorious criminal in Mistral, despite her experience, she lost...

Because... because...’ Vernal thought. ‘She’s a coward.’

Vernal had seen her kill before, huntsman, brave civilian, or Grimm, or even other tribes. But, never from anything other than a position of power, she always waited till there was a moment of weakness to strike, less warrior more assassin, and if things got too tough she’d whip out her Maiden Powers.

More often than not, when more than one hunter came after them, Raven would have them move out. Saying, “They're too weak for us to bother with.” Now, Vernal was sure it was just her cowardice… Like her inability to stick around with her real family.

Why she took Vernal in to begin with. 

‘Because, she’s a coward… I’m just a replacement, so she doesn’t have to think about…’

The time with the Arcs had definitely taught her that there was more to strength than fighting ability, and Raven was lacking in conviction, the thing Mr. Arc and The Boss had spades.

The Boss was way stronger than anyone she’d ever met, in terms of Aura and physical strength, yet his sisters, mother, those two lackeys of his, and his own father weren’t the least bit afraid of him.

They had conviction, that they knew their family.

Darkness be damned, those two lackeys could even put up a decent fight with him.

The oldest Arc child, Gris could even match her little brother in raw strength for a little while and even hold him down, even if he got up right afterwards. 

Then there was Mr. Arc, if his son was a dust bomb, an all direction and all consuming blast of destruction, then he was a high powered, high precision plasma beam. Not as powerful, sure, but no less dangerous or devastating when used correctly.

Mr. Arc was still teaching his son and his two lackeys… and Vernal even. His skill, aura manipulation, and physical conditioning was insane. Sure, he didn’t have even a tenth of her Boss’s reserves, but he had more than twice Ravens, and he had the skills to manipulate it like it was just another limb of his body.

He could probably beat Raven if he wanted to, and didn’t lack the courage to stand his ground.

Actually, Vernal was entirely sure he could, considering he was fighting her little monster of a Boss right now, and controlling the fight handily.

Mr. Arc practically danced around his son, as the boy tried to land a hit on him, swinging wildly and kicking up small windstorms as he did so. The boy got nowhere close to landing a hit on his father, as the man anticipated blow after blow, stepping out of his son’s range and enduring the shock-waves his son released with practiced ease.

He stepped into his son’s range and stuck his leg out between his son’s moving feet, tripping him, then shield bashing him in the back and sending him flying into the ground. The Boss bounced off the ground, leaving an indent where he hit it, and landed on his back.

The Boss got back up, his face red, and smashed his practice sword into the ground, breaking the ground where it landed, sending boulder sized clumps of earth into the air, Arthur Arc deflected and evaded the earth as it flew at him. Redirecting the earthen shrapnel back at his son with small controlled bursts of Aura Deflection.

The stones and dirt clumps being flung back at the speed of bullets and pelting The Boss, making a show of light when they hit his aura, the light bursting from his aura and creating ripples on top of it.

Mr. Arc was fast too, he moved from one position to the next like he was teleporting, Vernal couldn’t track his movements, his sword striking precisely into The Boss’s chest faster than Vernal could see, Vernal only being able to track his movement based on how The Boss was being knocked backed and where his Aura was flashing, and then with one last lightning quick slash The Boss was knocked onto his back, Arthur stomping his foot onto The Boss’s chest, putting his blade on the boys neck.

“Another victory for me, son,” Arthur said, smirking. “If you had less aura than you did, I could take your head off.”

Jaune pouted, struggling fiercely under his fathers boot, his own strength only barely lifting his father’s foot. Showing off the man’s immense strength as he barely budged, the strength of a real Hunter, and despite how much strength his son had, it didn’t matter if he couldn’t get any leverage to take advantage of it.

“I’ll beat you one day.” The Boss said, red faced and sweating.

“Yes, I’m sure you will.” Mr. Arc smiled. “But, first you got to land a hit on me.”

Vernal wasn’t sure if that was normal father-son conversation, but her definition of normal had long since been warped.

Arthur took his foot off his son and pulled him up. “Good for another spar, son?”

The blonde boy nodded, and then tried to pull his father into a headbutt, but Arthur didn’t budge and then flipped The Boss over his shoulder into the earth.

Vernal would watch late into the evening as the father-son sparred, taking notes mentally on what worked against The Boss for when she’d have to spar with her boss again. He may be her boss, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t give it her all in trying to surpass him, he deserved nothing less than a subordinate who was useful.

The Arcs told her she was priceless, but the only way Vernal knew that she had value was by proving it, and the only way she could was by fighting.

------

Three Months later.

-----

Three Arcs step off of a bullhead, all immediately throwing up their lunches on the ground.

“The family curse, haaah, it strikes again.” Arthur said, being the first one to recover.

“That it does, that it does father.” A platinum blonde who was nearly as tall as her father said putting her hand on her father’s shoulder for support.

The father and daughter watched as Jaune continued to puke his guts out all over the ground, the curse was particularly bad on the youngest, and it truly was a curse, as neither aura manipulation, meditation, or medication helped in the slightest. It was as though the sky’s and heaven’s had a grudge against the Arcs.

Eventually though, they all recovered.

Arthur grabbed both children by the shoulder. “Alright, I trust you two to remember, why, I brought you two with me on a mission.”

The platinum blonde nodded. “You said, I needed more field experience, especially in foreign environments and learning in person was worth more per hour than a day in class could ever teach…. also I forgot father’s day and this is my way of making up for it.”

“That’s right, Gris.” Arthur said with a smug smile.

Gris looked at her only brother. “Why’s he here?” Pointing at the blonde boy next to her.

Arthur smiled nervously. “Because, if neither of us is home to watch him, we won’t have a home when we get back.”

Jaune was fast asleep on his feet, a small stream of drool leaking from his mouth, and loudly snoring.

Arthur pulled his son into his arms, holding him securely and tossing Gris the boy’s luggage.

Gris nodded. “That is a fair point, but why not take his groupies too?”

“Because, I already have enough to worry about with Jaune, who is more than likely going to put someone else in our family by force before we head home, and those two are enough trouble by themselves and I don’t want them picking fights or causing trouble on a mission. Your mom, with her semblance, can handle them no problem, even less so with Vernal.”

“Fair enough, let's get going… What’s it called again?” Gris said with a tilt of the head.

Arthur hummed. “I think it’s called Kuroyuri, apparently rumors of an abnormal grimm have appeared. Something more than the local Hunter can handle.”

===

It had taken a couple hours of walking, through exotic forests and mountainous trails, but the Arc trio managed to make it to Kuroyuri a little after lunch. The Arc boy still sound asleep during the trip, being swapped between his father and elder sister as the situation demand, even when being carried up sheer cliffs,  when they were fording through shallow rivers, or the many fights between the Grimm, Bandits, and Aura Animals on the way to Kuroyuri, nothing of which way enough to prompt his Aura sense that there was enough danger to wake him up.

The Father and Daughter duo were thoroughly famished, and immediately beelined it to the first restaurant they could see, ending up running over to have lunch at a local tea house, Kazehana or something to that effect, The Arc duo were many things, linguist is not one of them.

The Arc’s sudden entrance to the Tea-house was quite sudden, the waitress quite shocked to see two hunters and a sleeping child look at her with a terrifying hungry expression. Needless to say they were quickly seated and served.

 Arthur and Gris finished their meal, several plates of local noodles, boar meat, and some local plants, letting out a satisfied groan of fullness, looking up while stretching and Arthur making eye contact with one Li Ren, the local hunter who requested a seasoned Huntsman investigate the rumors of an abnormal grimm.

There was a moment of eye contact, Arthur’s mind slowly grinding out the details, before realization sets in. His eyes widen and waves the man over with highly animated gestures, pointing down at an empty seat on the floor.

Li Ren stoically processed the actions before calmly making his way over to the table, taking the empty seat. In a matter of moments they were sitting, discussing the details of the contracts, over a cup of steaming tea, while Gris watched and observed, noting important details her father might miss and studying how her father negotiated and asked questions, weaning information out.

“So how long ago was this Grimm sighted?”

“Two or three months ago, It was sighted in the aftermath of a fallen village to the southeast with a horde of Grimm making its way out of the ruins.”

“Hmm, any possible thoughts on it’s species or is it a aberrant?”

“I have talked with those who have observed it from closer, they have described it as being around fifteen meters tall, with a equine bottom half, resembling a fully formed Uma Sama and Elder Imp like grimm’s torso growing from it’s mid back, the sight being quite… disturbing, it seems quite old having many battle scars and weapons stuck inside of it…. I do not know of any species it might belong too, but its too familiar to be a aberrant, Sir Huntsman.”

Arthur frowned, wrinkles creasing his forehead. “This is quite concerning, have you reported this to Haven?”

Li Ren scowled. “We of Kuroyuri, founded it in an attempt to escape Mistrals… less than savory nature, this did not make many friends or allies when we left, any attempts to have contacted Haven have been met with silence.”

“I’ll contact Beacon when I return, this behavior is unethical and unbecoming of a Huntsman institution.” Arthur said, his facing taking on a dark and stormy expression.

The talks between the two men then fade into the background as two children walk into the establishment, an orange hair girl and a black haired boy walk in, only to see their father talking with a blonde headed man, the orange hair girl sighs then spotting a sleeping blonde next to him her father and zips over to him and starts poking his cheek.

Ren sighs and goes to try and stop her from causing trouble, only for the blonde boy to casually wake up and slap her across the room and outside into the street.

The room goes silent in shock, as Jaune rises up yawning, Ren just stands there horrified, Arthur, Gris and Li all looking shocked for different reasons.

‘Did he do it? Did my son just kill a girl by accident?’

‘If he killed that girl, that means we’re probably going to have to waive the fee, and it’ll probably go on Jaune’s record,’

‘Damn-it Nora, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your hands to yourself!?’

Ren though, while horrified, was also quite awed. Nora was the strongest kid in town, he had never even seen her winded outside of training with dad, and she hit him hard enough to break his aura in just two to three hits, and it took him dozens of hits to just bring her down.

This blonde boy just socked her out of the room!

Nora laid on her back, a manic smile on her face. A tingly numb feeling all across her body, with some kind of scratchy feeling beneath the numbness. Awesome. Her aura never felt so low before, outside of Papa Ren fighting her in training. Nora’s aura felt like it was more than half gone!

Nora's smile didn’t fade as she contemplated the sheer strength behind, it didn’t just knock her around, it sent her flying! How far could he make her fly? 

“Jaune,” Arthur said to his son. “Please go make sure she’s alive?”

Jaune yawns, and rubs his eyes. “Who? Did I hit someone?”

“Yes.”

He nods “Ok.” Then he walks to the person with a damaged aura signature outside.

Nora looks at the boy in awe, as he looks down at her. He knees down and puts a hand on her cheek where he hit her. “Pain pain, go away.” Then a surge of light overtakes Nora, and her aura is completely restored and then some.

“Who are you!” Nora says, grabbing Jaune by the shoulders and putting her faces really close to his making intense eye contact.

“I’m Jaune.” The boy says pushing her away, her breath smelled like syrup, and it was making him hungry.

“I’m Nora and this is my brother Ren!” She said dragging the boy over to her brother who still was processing the fact that his sister had just got slapped out of a building.

Jaune thought they didn’t look anything alike, but then thought about his new adopted sisters. Realizing that Nora must have adopted Ren, he nodded.

“Oh cool, he’s like my sisters.”

Nora nodded. “Yeahs my brother, but not my brother-brother, but we’re blood-brother and sister, because we cut our hands and shook hands!”

Jaune’s eyes widen, and made note of what to do when he got home. He had to make sure his sister were has much of his sisters as possible.

“You’re really strong! Want to be friends? Wait, wait, I have a better idea, you want to be me and Ren’s new blood brother?”

“Sure!” Jaune didn’t really have any friends outside his family, he looked at Ren. “Can we be friends too? I mean blood-brother?” 

Who needs friends when you have family!

Ren looked at his feet nervously, the idea of cutting his hand again didn’t appeal to him, but nodded anyway. Nora hugged them both. “That’s his way of saying, yes!”

The three adults looked at the children in amusement, Li and Arthur sharing a knowing look.

“Feel welcome to stay in my home for the duration of your contract.”

“That would be great.”

Gris couldn’t stop smiling at her little brother and his new friends. “They're so cute!” Taking out her scroll and snatching several photos as Jaune and Nora, plus Ren got to know each other.

Only for the adults to scream once Nora brought out the knife and tried to cut their hands.

------

After the knife incident, and Nora finding out she couldn’t open Jaune’s hand no matter how hard she tried, they finally managed to settle down.

An Ren immediately took a shine to her children’s new friend and easily welcomed the Arcs into her home. Despite the fact the two other Arcs and her husband were scarcely in the house as they went out looking for the abnormal Grimm. Taking the time to spoil Jaune and her children, eventually managing to slip them all into matching Yukuta before letting them slip out to play for the afternoon.

Arthur and Li took several days to locate the Grimm, traveling around Kuroyuri looking for tracks and trails to indicate where it was, Gris traveling on the further outskirts acting as a scout.

During that time Jaune had spent all his time playing with Nora and Ren, investigating all over town, now that they’re dads were gone they were going to explore a mountain near the town.

“Be careful in the mountains. Also don’t stray too far into the forest or the lord of the mountain will eat you!” The old man said as Jaune walked into the forest, Nora and Ren followed him.

Ren and Nora followed behind Jaune, grabbing his long kimono sleeves. The kimono was something his eldest sister and Mrs. Ren and the Village girls managed to force on him in his sleep last night.

“What’s the lord of the mountain?” Jaune said, swinging his practice sword in front of him crushing through the brush and tearing up anything in front of him, but also creating a cool breeze behind him that Nora and Ren took advantage of.

Nora laughed. “It’s just a stupid folktale, beside I heard there’s really tasty peaches out in the forest.”

Ren sighed, tugging on Jaune’s sleeves. “Actually it’s a tale about a dangerous animal that lived on the Mountain centuries ago, long ago a there a enormous wild boar that lived on the mountain, the king of a nearby city wanted  to take the mountain, but no matter how many solider he sent none ever came back, so the king himself went, and came back wounded, he declared no man may ever rule over the mountain, as it had its own Lord. The Lord of the Mountain.

An electric look went through Jaune’s eyes, “Awesome, do you think we can find it?”

Ren looked nervous though. ‘This isn’t going to end well…’

A couple hours passed, as the trio totally wandered around the mountain before somehow ending up at the top of the mountain, which instead of peak it hosted a large depression that sunk several dozen feet into the width of the mountains top, home to only wild grass, boulders, some bushes, a large grove of peach trees. 

Nora elbows Jaune, smirking. “See I told you there were peaches at the top.”

Jaune snorts. “Yeah, but you haven’t proven that they were tasty yet!”

Nora frowns. “Fine, I’ll race you over there, and I’ll show you how tasty they are!”

“Fine!” Jaune said as he sprinted towards the peach trees, with Nora hot on his trail.

Ren however, felt quite nervous, as something was making his Aura sense crawl. This place was weird to him. He walked around, trying to find the source of the weirdness here.

He wadded through the waist high grass, noting the grass that had some large passage through it that neither Jaune or Nora caused. Nature trails all over the top.

Then he found it as he walked over to the grove. 

Skulls and bones, all over the ground, shattered into pieces and fragments, and the roots were all over them. The tree had been eating the bones.

Ren felt his blood turn cold, as he noticed the rusted and shattered weapons all over the top now that he looked closely.

He quickly looked around for Jaune and Nora, seeing them eating peaches from the tree in the center. Despite how happy they were, they had to leave now.

Calmly as he could, somehow managing to make himself feel numb, the world taking on a slightly muted color, he walked over only to feel the ground shake behind him. Dust and dirt falling behind him, and the warm breath of air on his neck, on the high mountain top. His calm disappeared.

“Jaune! Nora! This is the Lord of the Mountain’s lair!”

A scream from behind him, pulled Jaune and Nora out from their fun to see Ren on the ground before a huge boar.

Jaune and Nora stood in awe of it for a moment, before Nora realized the danger and ran to protect Ren, Jaune close behind her.

However, he couldn’t help but be awestruck by the big piggy behind Ren that was absolutely leaking aura, it almost had as much as his dad did!

It was also so cool looking! It’s fur was black and thick and hairy! Like it was made of black iron. With one blood red eye and one milky one with a scar going over it. It had a bunch of scar actually, over its sides and on its neck. Jaune bet it fought a bunch of strong guys and piggies too. And it’s tusks were ginormous! Like instead of growing tusks it grew two clay-mores instead!

Jaune put his hand under his chin. Could he tame it? Only for him to scowl as the foul smell of the boar fell over to him. ‘It needs a bath. Otherwise, mom won’t let me keep him.’

“SQUUUUUEEEELLL!!!” The Lord of the Mountain bellowed at the three children who invaded it’s lair as it stomped the ground and got ready to charge. 

Only for it to take notice of Jaune, it’s eyes further narrowed in rage, it was the one who had been stinking up it’s mountain with his aura, now dared come into its home! The Lord of the mountain bellowed out of rage and challenged the boy in front of it, then charged forward intent on brutalizing the boy who dared leaked it’s smelly aura all over his mountain. The one who dared to wake him with his offensive smell. It’s beady eye then saw the discarded peach pits on the ground.

It snorted in pure wrath, they dared to eat it’s sacred peach! The one’s that granted The Lord his longevity?! He would grind their bones into dust for his grove and rend their flesh off their muscle and have the rain’s dance with their blood!

The pitch black boar’s singular working eye glowed with a diabolical spirit, as then blood-crimson lightning sparked over it’s black fur, as it galloped it legs forward in blinding speed, going ahead like a black missile, barreling at the seven year old with all the force of a runaway train. Jaune in a split second decision grabbed Ren and Nora, tossing them into some nearby bushes as he was hit hard enough to be sent flying away, the impact turning making the sky around them shake, the light exploding around them nearly blinding them as Jaune disappeared.

Nora and Lie Ren watch in horror, shivering silently as the boy they just befriended, their new brother flew into the mountainside impacting it with a blood-chilling crunch. The pair’s eyes went wide as they went into shock.

The rock-face shook, and the pig squealed in triumph as Jaune seemed to have been defeated.

“That was mean mister piggy, I don’t like mean people.” Jaune walked out from the dust and shattered rocks falling around him surrounding his impact sight, the rocks bouncing off his aura, and looking no worse for wear, if anything he looked incredibly angry.

His golden aura burned around him causing his clothes to float on etheric currents. The boar snorted at him and bellowed again, unimpressed, in it’s long, long life, it had defeated many opponents, from aura users, to soldiers and bandits, to warriors and huntsmen, and even centuries ago the king of this valley and his army, what was one child to his many fallen foes?

The Lord of the Mountain snorted again, summoning it’s lightning to coat him, and then shot it at the insolent child.

Jaune saw it all though, the sneer in the animals eyes, and the hostility riding it’s aura, and the deathly intent in the creature's semblance. It was all too easy to read it and step aside from where the red lightning hit next to him.

With a flourish Jaune then unsheathes his training sword holding it defensively, ready to fight the old boar.

The Lord of Mountain’s tusks glimmered menacingly in the evening light.

Nora and Ren held their breaths hoping not to give away their positions.

Clank! Klink! Crack!

The boar charged into Jaune, with Jaune blocking the beast with the flat of his sword, being pushed back several feet. The boar lashing out with it hooves that almost knocked Jaune flat before deflecting the blow, it’s tusks swiping at him only to be ducked under, and finally it tried to bite him in half, only for Jaune to hit’s teeth with his sword in a silver flash.

Bzzzzt!

The boar’s fur began to stick up on end as currents of electricity gathered across its body, collecting between its tusks briefly, then exploded in a blast of lightning at Jaune.

Jaune’s eyes went wide as a column wide blast of lightning was shot at him knocking him onto his back spasming, mere feet from Nora and Ren.

The boar saw an opening and charged at him coated in auric lightning power, Nora saw it all in slow-motion, Ren’s heart seized with fear and tried to stop Nora, but she moved faster than she ever moved before grabbed Jaune to pull him out of the way, the boar only grazing him, but still blasting bolts of electricity as it brushed them, a wayward zap hit Nora, knocking her onto her back, Ren quickly running to her side as his sister was laid out on the ground smoke drifting off of her.

The boar gave a evil look at the children as it turn around and charged at them, only for the boar to be punched in the nose before it could run them over. The huge animal reeling back, as it was knocked back, Jaune then rose up, smoke rising off of him, then he jumped up and socked it. Anger in his eyes, as he grabbed the blade of his sword and hit the boar in it’s head with the hilt, sending it rolling across the ground and into the trees, destroying several in the process, Jaune then chasing fast behind it.

As the Lord of the Mountain and Jaune continued to fight, Ren was trying his best to tend to Nora, only he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her as she kept laughing. “It tickles Ren! It Tickles!” Then jumping up onto her feet, grabbing the largest branch see could find then running at Jaune and the Lord of the Mountain.

The Lord of the Mountain and Jaune had fought from the forest line back into it’s den, leaving a trail of destruction and broken rocks behind them, the boar discharging lightning at him and Jaune summoning orbs of Aura to take the blows instead of him, several bright aura orbs orbiting around him at high speeds.

Lightning collects on the boar again, making the boar too bright to look at, wayward bolt striking everywhere blasting Nora back again, as it disappears behind a veil of electricity, then faster than the children’s eyes could follow, the boar flashes out towards Jaune in a series of brutal hits, only for him to deflect every blow in a shining silver strikes, with is Aura taking the blows he couldn’t deflect. 

Then in a matter of moments the fighters became invisible, until an ear-splitting shriek cut the air in two, as a shock-wave cut the air in two, razor sharp winds shearing across the air, cutting all the around in a twenty foot circle in half.

The Lord of the Mountain was breathing heavily, blood-seeping from it’s mouth and nose, mighty as it was, boar weren’t built for this kind of fighting, while Jaune staggered around erratically as electricity stilled flashed over him, his hair standing on end and smoke waffering off of him. Jaune with as much aura as he has, was just as vulnerable to electricity as any aura-user, especially to one such as the Lord of the Mountain, who had honed it’s semblance in many battles, he could heal yes, but the effects on the body were noticeable and quite damaging.

The fighters met eyes with each other, a brief contact, but one that conveyed the tangible amount of respect they had for another.

The Lord of the Mountain scraped the ground with it’s hooves, gathering more of it’s semblance than it had ever before, collecting the red power into its prized tusks, turning them into glowing red and white sabers of energy that zapped with lightning around them.

Jaune held his sword with both hands in low stance, his sword’s tip pointing at the ground behind him, four aura orbs floating around him then one after the other they circled around the blade faster and smaller, till the blade was obscure in white and gold colors.

The two fighters charged, they met, they clashed.

All was still, all was silent, they froze meeting like a still frame image, the small blonde boy wielding an equally small sword meeting a building sized boar in a charge, clashing together, it would look comical if not for the serious look on boys face and the obvious power being thrown around, and the wrecked environment around them.

The clash held for a scarce moment, then the world caught up, as light overtook the senses, followed by an all encompassing boom that echoed across the providence like thunder, that nearly deafened Ren and Nora. Finally was the bone-cracking snap, as the victor was decided.

For a brief moment Jaune and The Lord of the Mountain became visible, the sword biting into the fangs, the rotating sheath of aura diverting the condensed semblance back into lightning bolts around Jaune digging a foot deep furrow for tens of yards behind him. Then,

KA-CRACK!

As the Lord of the Mountain’s tusks were broken in two. The two ivory natural weapons spun in the air and then stabbed into the earth, still crackling with its power, and blood leaking at the base of the shattered ivory.

The Lord of the Mountain thrashed about wildly as it’s mind was overloaded with pain and phantom sensations.

Jaune frowned sadly at it. His dad’s voice then echoed in his head. ‘Never disrespect your opponent with mercy if they come to kill you, give them the warrior’s end. Its the end they deserve.’

Ren and Nora could only watch in awe as Jaune then ran at the Lord of the Mountain, stopping it’s wildly flailing with a running sideswipe at it’s head, knocking it onto its side. Quickly he grabbed a broken tusk holding it firmly, holding the beast still he aligned his blunt sword with it’s eye with a lightning quick motion he plunged his sword, followed by his entire arm, and then part of his shoulder deep into through its eye into it’s head. Completely obliterating it’s brain, and the top of its spine.

In an instant, he broke its aura, cutting’s life away in one ending move.

The beast shutters weakly in pain, once, twice, and then never again.

Jaune frowns as he puts his foot against the head and kicks off, pulling his arm out in a spray of gore, showering the forest floor in red, pink and grey. He then swipes his sword through the air, in an attempt to remove the boar viscera off the blunt sword.

Nora and Ren looked on at Jaune, unable to take their eyes off of him. HIs movements were like nothing they had ever seen, powerful, without mercy, terrifying, and awe-inspiring. They fell to their knees without hesitation, bowing before the great one before them.

“Teach me, oh great one!” Nora said, suddenly latching onto Jaune’s leg. “Show me the way, so that I might break enemies! Those that would be unworthy of you!”

Ren hugged Jaune’s waist. “Show me the ways to manhood, Great Master!” Looked up at him. “Allow this one to have the power to serve you, and protect those I care for.”

With a casual pat to their heads. “Sure, you’re my brother and sister, right?” He said, with a bright smile and face dripping with blood.

Ren and Nora could only hug tighter in excitement, this would be the beginning of a long, long, and deep bond.

--------

It had taken most of a day to get to the creature’s lair, but it was well worth it.

Arthur had Gris play interception, leaving her to fight any Grimm that tried to attack Arthur and Li as they fought the Nuckaleeve as they found it was called.

Gris watched in amazement, as she finished the last of the fodder grimm, cutting a deathstalker in half with her zweihander, as her father and Mr. Li Ren fought the Nuckaleeve.

While Li Ren did not have much power behind strikes, he could shoot dozens of arrows near instantly, laced with some type of dust or another, and could easily dodge the blows that the Nuckaleeve tried to hit him with.

Her father just kept proving why he was the patriarch of the house, as he matched the monster blow for blow, overpowering it and laying it back as Li Ren froze, burned, and electrocuted it’s limb.

Till Arthur finally knocked it to the ground and sawed off the horse like head off the abomination as Li sniped the head off the top of the thing they called a Nuckaleeve.

Arthur stretched as he popped his body. “What a work out, haven’t fought something that strong in years, even if it was a little disappointing.”

“A little much for me,” Li said, taking a seat. “I would prefer it if I never had to see something like this ever again.”

Arthur shrugs. “To each their own,” He then smiles at the man. “How does it feel to longer have that monster hanging over your head?”

Li gave a wide smile. “Like a boulder has been lifted from my shoulders, ah, it feels like I just regained ten years of my life back. My Ren and Nora, will now be able to grow up in relative peace, hopefully.”

Arthur gave him a pat on the back, nearly knocking the man onto his face. “They will grow up in peace, if you ever have any other trouble, do not hesitate to call the Arcs.”

Li’s eyes started to water, but he quickly rubbed them away. “Then, I suppose there is one thing I have concerns about, in your time here in Kuroyuri, have you heard of the Lord of the Mountain?”

--------

Arthur couldn’t be prouder of his son if he tried as he lugged a two story tall boar through the town square whilst that little girl Nora shouted out a story that would probably fit right in with a Mistralwood movie, the boy Ren giving out details to smooth the story along.

“The Lord is dead, the Lord of the Mountain has died!” An old man shouted.

“It was real?”

“I thought for sure, that the old man was full of shit!”

“I’m not that old! I'm forty five, I just smoke a lot!”

“You should really quit, it’s bad for your health.”

“If I wanted your opinion I’d bloody well ask for it! Anyway the Lord of the Mountain is dead!”

Arthur gave his new friend a sly look. “So, about that problem… I don’t think you need to worry about it.”

Li grabbed his head and shook his head from side to side, a tears of happiness running down his face. “I suppose I do not.”

He rubbed his face dry, then grabbed Arthur by shoulder. “Tonight we party! Kuroyuri is safe again, and these are our champions! Tell the mayor we are celebrating tonight!”

Cheers erupted around the plaza.

--------

The party lasted for several days, as the news made its way around the neighboring villages who went to join and congratulate the Arc’s and the Ren Family.

Positivity at an all time high, fun was had, merriment too, but all good things come to an end.

A Bullhead sat on the outskirts of the village, which was being loaded up with gifts, and some of the remains of the Lord of the Mountain.

Nora and Ren clung fiercely to Jaune, tears running freely down the trios face.

“I don’t want you to leave!” Nora dug onto him tightly

“You’re our brother, don't leave us!” Ren buried his head into the blonde boys shoulder.

Jaune was silent, despite his teary eyes, then he flicked them both on the head. “Quiet! You’re my brother and sister, aren't you going to be strong?”

The two shut up filled with shame.

“This isn’t me leaving, this is me going somewhere else, I’m going to be back and stronger than ever, so don’t think I won’t be back! I would never abandon by brother or sister, so don’t insult me by saying I would leave you forever. So, promise me you two will get stronger, so when I come back we can go on more adventures, promise me!” Jaune looked at them firmly, his eyes still red and puffy.

Nora dried her eyes, and Ren blinked away the tears.

“Yeah! I’m going to get stronger than ever, if you don’t come back I’ll break your legs and bring you back!”

“I’m going to be a real man, Jaune! I’ll show you how strong I can be, so you better come back, or we’ll track you down and bring you back with us for good.”

Jaune looked strong for a moment, then broke down in tears again and hugged them tightly. “I’ll miss you guys.”

Gris looked at them through her scroll, recording the whole thing.

“Couldn’t we, you know, take them with us? We already got the other three groupies, what are two more?”

Arthur swatted her head, “I’m a serial adopter, not serial kidnapper. Anyway, I like Li enough, but not enough to steal his kids, so no, I’m not taking his kids.”

Li gave him a narrowed eye glance. “I’d prefer to keep my children,”

An Ren then carefully puts away a kitchen knife. “I’d cut a bitch, if you tried.” An Ren then smiles. “Anyway, the Arcs are always welcome in our home, you three better come back soon with the rest of your family.”

Arthur gulps, but nods. “Yeah, the misses wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t take her here. So, will come once I get the children settled.”

Gris smiles. “We’ll be back for the junior Mistral Regional Tournament, Dad wants to put Jaune in it. Thinks it’ll be funny.”

Arthur looks off into the distance. “Damn right it will.”

It took some effort, but they separated the children, and loaded up the Bullhead flying home.

------

The three Arc got off the Bullhead onto the Arc Estate, then promptly emptied their stomachs.

The curse striking hard, the one thing the Arc will never defeat.

Airsickness.

[sanzoumon]

**FIRE FORCE FIC PROMPTS**

Note: A good chunk of these are smut prompts, featuring various ships (mostly BL ships). There are noncon prompts at the end, clearly marked where they start. I threw in some purely platonic SFW prompts for those of you who are into weird stuff like that lol

Please, if you like any of these prompts and are going to write them - tell me. Also some of these prompts are super detailed while others are like one sentence long.

Ships Included:

Konro x Benimaru • Joker x Benimaru • Viktor x Joker • Burns x Joker • Shinra x Sho • Shinra x Arthur • Charon x Haumea

————

-PLATONIC-

- Arrow & Sho. Sho gets upset and cries into Arrow’s chest. He’s so upset he calls her “mommy” without realizing it.

- Charon & Haumea. “Unconditional love” is what his thoughts told her. What she doesn’t understand is why. No matter how much she tries to find out, the answer alludes her.

- Shinra & Sho. Bed sharing and cuddling.

-SHIPPING-

Konro x Benimaru

- Teenage!Benimaru confesses his love for Konro when he’s drunk after having drank Sake for the first time.

- D/s. Benimaru loves giving up control to Konro when they have sex.

- Rumors about them being in a relationship spread, leading to so unsavory comments about Konro regarding their age difference. (Ex: suggesting Konro took advantage of Beni when he was young; that it’s creepy since Konro was an adult while Beni was a child when they first met; etc) Needless to say, Benimaru gets pissed anyone would dare think that about Konro.

- Doppelgänger!Konro x Doppelgänger!Benimaru. Hell’s a little nicer when you have someone you love to have sex with. Even Doppelgängers feel love.

- Doppel!Benimaru manifests and wreaks havoc because his Konro is dead. Now he wants Konro to replace him and he won’t let Benimaru get in the way of that. (Doppel!Beni is Yandere for Konro [both if them] because that’s how people perceive Benimaru to be... and turns out it’s correct, Benimaru IS Yandere for Konro).

- Mourning. Doppel!Benimaru finds out his Konro is dead. All of Adolla quakes from the outburst of his sorrow.

- (past noncon) Teenage!Benimaru tries to thank Konro in the only way he knows how - with his body. Konro is, reasonably, freaked out and finds out why it is Beni thinks this is appropriate.

- Benimaru is a bit of a submissive masochist. Konro is happy to help with whatever Beni needs.

- Their first time together wasn’t gentle. It was passionate, overwhelming, aggressive, heated, rough. All their pent up feelings for each out came rushing out violently and they were both happy to get caught up in it. Benimaru never felt so content in his life as when Konro was manhandling him that night.

- Benimaru does something special, and embarrassing, for Konro. Puppy-play.

- Konro is a bit of a voyeur. Those pictures he took of Beni for the calendar are not the only pictures he has of him. For Konro’s birthday, Benimaru supplies him with extra special pictures that Beni took of himself. As it happens, Benimaru is an exhibitionist.

- The world is on fire and Benimaru has nothing left to give. Before the flames take him he has to tell Konro he loves him. (Sad fic, death fic)

Joker x Benimaru // Benimaru x Joker

- They each have their own shit to be frustrated about. They take it out on each other when one of them needs it. It’s fine, they can take it.

- It’s not love. They don’t even like each other. They irritate each other. But they sure do love angry fucking each other.

Viktor x Joker

- Joker loves how fascinating Viktor finds him.

- Unlike any other partners he’s had, Viktor treats Joker gently when they have sex. He’s not used to it and gets flustered.

- After killing the captain at the Holy Sol Temple, the reality of the situation hits him. The man who violated him for years, who continued to haunt his nightmares into adulthood, was dead. All of a sudden he needs to see Viktor no matter what. (Hurt/comfort)

Burns x Joker

- (past noncon) Joker cries during sex and Burns really doesn’t know what to do about it.

- 52 has a crush on Burns and comes onto him one night. Burns can’t bring himself to turn him down, knowing what 52 goes through, and opts to make him feel good instead.

- Joker mourns Burns’ death.

- After all these years, Joker has daddy issues. It doesn’t surprise Burns’ in the slightest when Joker calls him “daddy” in bed. What surprises him is how much he enjoys being called that.

Shinra x Sho

- Sho has zero sense of personal space and Shinra’s been having some very uncomfortable thoughts about his little brother.

- Sho is in love with Shinra and doesn’t understand why everyone says it’s “wrong”.

- “Let big brother take care of you.”

- (past noncon) Arrow confesses to Shinra about all the terrible things the White Clad did to Sho since they abducted him. When he got old enough to start questioning things, they broke him. They did it again after Shinra’s Adolla Link with Sho (which in turn Shinra feels guilty for). [this one could be romantic or brotherly but either way hurt/comfort]

- Shinra thinks Sho is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. An angel too perfect for a devil like him.

- A little bit of brotherly playful roughhousing, making up for all the years they lost, leads to something much more heated. Neither stops to think about it, it feels too good to finally be together.

- Shinra likes it a lot when Sho cries out “big brother” while they make love.

Shinra x Arthur

- A stupid argument about something pointless ends in Shinra pinning Arthur to the floor. Before either knows it they’re grinding against each other, kissing harshly.

- (attempted noncon) Doppel!Shinra tries to force himself on Arthur when Arthur confronts him about the real Shinra’s whereabouts.

- Arthur knows this isn’t the real Shinra, but there’s something alluringly taboo about being taken roughly by a devil like this.

Charon x Haumea

- The world is about to burn, but before she fulfills her duty she wants to show Charon how thankful she truly is for his devotion to her all this time. She figures she’ll kill two birds with one stone, rewarding him and indulging in pleasure herself.

-NONCON-

Mob x Benimaru

- Before ending up in Asakusa, being found and taken in by Hibachi, Benimaru lived on the streets of the Tokyo Empire. There’s a good reason he resents the Tokyo Empire and doesn’t like to leave Asakusa. A child alone on the streets is dangerous and he was so weak back then. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be cornered in some alley and sexually assaulted, left in the trash once they were done with him.

- Benimaru doesn’t know how this happening to him of all people, why he’s unable to fight off his attackers. They’re mocking him, degrading him, humiliating him, and they’re forcing him to get off on what’s being done to him. At some point he starts crying, begging for them to stop, which only makes them enjoy his torment more.

- Benimaru is drunk off his ass and someone decides to take advantage of the situation. How often do you get the chance to have Asakusa’s “King of Destruction” begging for you to fuck him?

Mob x Joker

- 52 still isn’t learning his lesson. To break him further, and to reward the rest of the shadows for their hard work and dedication, the captain has them punish 52 by letting them do whatever they want to him (nothing that will cause permanent injury, at least). 52’s entire week was spent as a plaything for them all, torture, rape, humiliation, degradation, all manner of creative punishment. It came damn close to breaking him.

- The criminal underworld isn’t a nice place. Sometimes Joker messes with the wrong people and he got taught painful lessons, no different from what the captain did to him.

- Forced Burns x Joker. The church calls it a bonding ceremony. Burns knows it’s just their way of attempting to break 52 by having the one person who hasn’t mistreated him hurt him. If Burns refuses, it won’t end well for anyone involved. So he forces himself on 52 and hates himself for it.

Mob x Sho

- (Extreme underage) Sho was just too tiny and cute. Only 5 years old. So soft, so sweet. Naturally, they had to beat that out of him.

- Haumea x Sho. She dresses him up like the beautiful doll he is. She plays with him like the toy he is. She violates him like the object he is. She makes him cry, cry out for his brother, his mother, Arrow, anyone, like the child he is. She makes him spread his legs for other White Clad members and then hurts him when he gets his dress dirty, like the useless slut he is. She leaves him hard, needy, alone for hours, until he’s begging for release. She tells him if his brother could see him now, he’d be disgusted by him. He agrees.

Kurono x Nataku

- Kurono loves every pathetic thing about Nataku. Or it’s as close to love as he’s capable of. In his own twisted way, he shows his affection for the boy.

- Nataku is such a masochistic boy, it’s impossible for Kurono to resist him.

Doppel!Benimaru x Konro

- Doppel!Benimaru manifests and infiltrates Company 7 while Benimaru is away. He tricks Konro into fucking him.

- Doppel!Benimaru promises to leave Asakusa alone in exchange for Konro fucking him.

Doppel!Konro x Benimaru

- Konro wasn’t there when the Demon Infernal showed up. Benimaru attempts to fight it on his own but the demon gets him on his back and starts ripping off his clothes. Benimaru is too confused to register just what’s happening until he feels white hot searing pain splitting him in half. He’s afraid, too shocked and in too much pain to do anything. In spite of it all, he gets hard. The demon notices and its grin gets wider. He remembers a burning hand jacking him off and feeling liquid fire inside him. Before he blacks out he hears Konro call out his name. When he wakes, the demon is gone and Konro is hurt.

Doppel!Benimaru x Benimaru

- Doppel!Beni captures Konro and forces him to watch while he rapes Benimaru. Beni can’t fight back because he and his Doppelgänger and too evenly matched and Konro would be hurt. All the while his Doppelgänger taunts him and Konro, describing how “his Konro” (the Doppelgänger) used to fuck him - finding all of Benimaru’s sensitive spots easily because he had them too. Tells them how it’s obvious to everyone how in love they are, that everyone suspects they’re together, because Doppel!Konro has been fucking Doppel!Beni’s brains out since he was a teenager. In spite of the situation, Konro ends up getting hard.

- Benimaru is haunted by dreams of hellfire. In them he always sees himself, a version of himself engulfed in flames. He’s had these dreams since the night before he discovered his powers. In them his other self violates him. It hurts. The dreams always feel so real, even in the morning. Nevertheless he chalks them up to just being nightmares until the discovery that Doppelgängers are real.

- They were evenly matched but his Doppelgänger blindsided him. His head is bleeding, Asakusa is burning, he doesn’t know what’s become of Company 7, and his damned Doppelgänger takes time out of his destruction to rape him - just to add insult to injury.

NOTE: If you’re unaware what “mob” means, it’s a doujin term basically meaning their only purpose is to assault whatever canon character. It’s not an OC, self, or reader insert. It can be an individual nameless character or a group of them.

Also yeah you can clearly tell the kinda stuff I’m into and I don’t care. I put all these prompts in one list because laziness.

May or may not update this list as need be! Enjoy the naughty stuff I know y’all really want as well!!

[imaginesbymk]

“Sweet as Cherry Pie.”

Peaky Blinders One Shot

Summary: Y/n is Alfie Solomons’ younger sister who comes to Camden town & Small Heath. Why? She’s their secret weapon: sassy, unpredictable and insults their enemies to filth. Or maybe she’s just bored and needed the first enemy she sees to throw a comment at. Either way, Alfie couldn’t ask for a better sister.

Pairing: ---

Tags: swearing, mentions of violence, weapons, drug & alcohol use, smoking + s4 spoilers

Word Count: 1755 words

Author’s Note: sksmsksks this is based off a dream i had one night. it isn’t the best piece i’ve written but i love a sassy reader. one shots are not open, this is just a one shot for my 800 follower special - [milestone masterlist]

“GOOD MORNING, Alfie.” Tommy said, walking down the distillery. Well, it wasn’t that much of a good morning for Tommy, really. In fact, even though he’s very productive and professional most times, this time the man wished he was back in bed where he could be exposed in his shirtless self, waking up to see his boy with that bright smile, sharing his eyes. 

Normally, he’d be drowning in family meetings back in Small Heath, but the atmosphere in Camden town begged to differ.

“Meh, not really,” Alfie Solomons glances up at the window- the dusty, stained window pane gave in the overcast weather. He turns back to Tommy. “Mate, I’m glad we’re right on schedule. I was starting to think you got shot in your own fucking office chair back home.”

Tommy stared at the Jewish-English man, knowing Alfie was from Camden Town, how outsiders would speak ill of such towns and vice versa.

Alfie shuffles over using his cane as support and hands Tommy the tickets. “Those are the tickets to the boxing match. And in that storage unit behind you is the gateway to the clouds.”

“Kind of you. But you know I have booze at home, stored neatly and safely. I can manage without your rum.” Tommy walked in, anyway.

“I’m not giving you my rum for free, Tommy. I’m not even selling it to you,” Tommy watched as Alfie made his way to the other room of his bakery, ready to check on the AM workers as they got to work right away.

Tommy read the front labels of the bottle he picked up from one of the barrels. This man has gone a long way in his business, he couldn’t deny that. Over a hundred barrels have been shipped to God knows how many speakeasies were in Europe and America, and when Alfie Solomons received his earnings, he holds it tightly and proudly, guarding it as he cherishes his success.

Taking a bottle wouldn’t hurt, it would please him knowing he is interested in buying his product. He could even smell it from the sealed caps. He could smell it from the barrels, residue on the floor, or even from one of the workers’ breaths. He could pop it open and take a quick sniff like playing in snow. Tommy dug in his coat pockets, pulling out a stack.

“Oh, so you are fucking loaded.” Tommy whipped around, his gun already pulled from his holster, gripped and pointed to the voice inches behind him. 

The person- the woman, didn’t react, not a small gasp at the sight of the barrel of the gun nearing her face. Boldly enough, she reached over and grabbed the stack of cash from Tommy’s hand and walked away, not even remotely thinking if the man she startled would pull the trigger with her back turned. 

“Thanks, Mr. Shelby. And Alfie thanks you!” the female voice calls out.

Con artist? Someone posing as a worker? An enemy? Tommy breathed heavily, swearing left and right in his mind that he could of at least stopped whoever that was from taking his money, or yelled at her the way he usually does to anyone who worked for him because he was the boss. He was loaded, but no one would just allow someone to take a loan like that without anything afterwards, unless they were a clerk in a bank robbery.

After feeling like he was glued to the floor in that tiny space, Tommy rushed out to find Alfie back in his office with his glasses on his face, jotting notes down on a piece of paper, noticing the stack of cash sitting near the cup holder.

“Who the fuck just walked inside that storage unit and grabbed the stash right out my fucking hands?”

Tommy’s outburst of his question didn’t send Alfie into a panic. “You mean my dearest sister y/n?” Alfie got up from his seat. “She gave me the cash so I didn’t have to do it, but she didn’t even bid me a goodbye afterwards. She just plopped it on my desk and went her way. It’s not like I died or anything. I’m not fucking invisible, Tommy. You can see me, right?” 

Tommy let out a long sigh, dreading that there’s not one but two migraine-stirring bastards named Solomons, it’s enough for one he already wishes to throw a beer bottle at some times, but now another one probably much worse than if described. “You have a sister, Alfie? You never said anything about having a sister.”

“Yeah. But don’t worry, she’s sweet as cherry pie,” Alfie nods. “I brought her here, but she’s pretty homesick, so I would bid her warm welcomes if I were you.”

“Why should I?” Tommy says, frowning. “She just took my fucking money.”

“Oh, for sure.” Alfie waves the loan in front of Tommy, reminding him that y/n is no thief. “And because she knows about the vendetta between you, the Peakys and the Italians. If they come to her, she’ll roar at them, literally.”

“WHO the fuck is this, now?” Arthur stared at the woman stood next to Tommy at the foot of the small dining room where old memories held of their past meetings and heartbreaks.

“This is Y/n Solomons. She’s our messenger.” Tommy wished he never had to say that. He wished she would stop touching his fucking stuff, too. “Y/n, put down my fucking frame.”

“Oh fuck,” Polly blew out smoke from her cigarette. “There’s two of them?”

“And what is wrong with my brother?” Y/n places the frame back down on the mantel. “He’s a successful businessman. He beat a man three fucking times his size to gravel after he called me fat.”

“Y/n Solomons is our messenger. She’s also helping with updates from Aberama Gold once we get Michael out of Birmingham for now, because Luca Changretta is still out there, and he’s fucking pissed.”

“You can very hot headed sometimes, Mr. Shelby.” Later the brief introduction of their newcomer in their recent meeting was long over, she stayed back even though she was dismissed to do her work. “It’s probably because you smoke so much cigarettes that you’re starting to look like an ashtray, or of that heavy out-dated coat you wear all the time just weighs you down that your back and shoulders must hurt like hell.”

“The fuck does that mean?” Tommy said, irritated by her presence, even her just standing there at the table.

“Nothing.” Y/n sighs and heads out the door. “You know where I’ll be!” she calls.

Sweet as cherry pie, my ass. Tommy grunts and lights a cigarette.

“WHAT’S the matter?” Luca Changretta asks. “I said we had a deal.”

“Ah, you just made a deal without negotiation, now did ya?” Y/n’s brother sat on the chair, staring up at the menacing mobster holding one of the rum bottles given as a gift. “Yeah, Tommy Shelby was right about you. You plan to kill us all.” He spoke in Yiddish, and he mocks a tsking sound.

Luca smirks down, even though he didn’t know what he said, at least they both were aware of one thing; Tommy knows what kind of man I am.

“Mr. Changretta, may I speak freely?” y/n chimes in.

The Italian shrugs. “Mr. Solomons, I checked my calendar earlier and I did not read anything about today being Take Your Kid to Work Day,” and he laughs, his cousin as his henchman behind laughing along with him.

“Mate, I’d choose my next words very carefully if I were you,” Alfie says, stifling a smile. “This is my baby sister you’re talking down to, and she won’t tolerate one bit of it.”

“And I should be afraid?”

“Perhaps less afraid, more self-conscious, Mr. Changretta,” y/n replies. “Just a few minutes ago I was sensing the stench of failure, but then I saw you and your men walk in.”

Luca chuckles sarcastically. “Ouch.”

“And it’s not like we’re having a showdown right here, you didn’t need to bring your men with you unless you’re doubling their pay for just standing silently. I mean, they’re as important as Tommy Shelby’s evening sous chef.”

“Who?” Alfie had to ask.

Y/n smirks. “Exactly. Anyways, I just need to tell you that my brother’s business isn’t for sale. Alfie has worked hard and I’m proud to be his sister, supporting him. I’ll drink his rum like it’s mother’s milk if I had to. So, let my brother handle your men at the match, and you’ll take care of the two hundred barrels to be shipped to New York. Simple.”

“What do you know about business, Miss Solomons?”

“What do you know about combat, Luca? If you didn’t lack the experience, Tommy Shelby’s blood would spill fresh on your hands as we speak. How are you a soldier for the mafia if you hadn’t accomplish the vendetta yet?”

“Well-”

“Actually, don’t answer that. I’ll fall asleep.” Y/n took a step forward, lowering her smile up as his height overpowered hers. “My brother isn’t asking for much. He’s a good friend of Tommy Shelby, yet he’s helping you. You should be kissing his feet, Mr. Changretta, not abusing his generosity.”

Luca chewed the matchstick in his mouth. “Is that so?” he looks back at his men. “Porca puttana.”

“Vaffanculo, right back at you, mate. You just earned yourself another tonne to your bill. Bring tissues for both your lawyer and accountant.” Y/n turns around and grins at her older brother, who smiled warmly at her the entire time, feeling as though he was proud. If the Peaky Blinders were here, they’d share the same reaction as Luca. 

“So you both know Italian?” Luca asked as he sighs in exhaustion.

Alfie nods at Luca, who was glaring down at him for an answer. You learn from your older sibling, you become as tough as bullets and the big help as the messenger, sending a telephone call or a letter mailed to Small Heath, saying Luca Changretta is six feet tall, but shrunk four feet down when y/n opened her mouth. 

“Take it or leave it, Signore.” The Italians didn’t even need to ask where this woman got her attitude from. If you’re a Solomon, there’s perks. Y/n smiles to herself, Tommy is gonna hate and love me.

“I warned you about my baby sister, mate.” Alfie says. “Sweet as cherry pie... but with broken glass once you bite into your first slice.”

—

tag list: @ladyxblake @lotsoffandomimagines @amirahiddleston @thethyri @woahitslucyylu @myriadimagines @fangirlsarah16 @your-pixels-are-showing @lucillethings @sirkekselord @kaetastic

[arthurflecksgirl]

Reader finds out she`s pregnant with Arthur`s child

@jaraysha1121 requested this one! Thank you so much for the lovely request!!! I really, really, really hope you will like the result :)

Arthur humming quietly into your ear was the perfect way to wake up in the morning. Smelling his hair, that felt tickelish into your face while he kissed you awake was. You just wished that all of this, his bed hair in the morning, him humming oldies in the kitchen while making coffee, his skin on yours at night, would never come to end end.

You have been together for one year now but it felt like you had known him before the beginning of time. Having him in your arms felt like holding the entire universe in your hands. Like anything was possible and there was nothing that you weren`t able to face together. Arthur was your muse, your inspiration. Your proof that no matter how cruel life has been to you, there is still hope to stay gentle at heart and to end up being loved. It was just the same the other way around. You ended up being Arthurs salvation. His soul mate. Everything he ever hoped for and daydreamed about. You and him. It was just fate.

"Hey Y/N. I made you some tea. I hope you feel better this morning? I noticed you couldnt find sleep tonight?" He handed you the cup "Careful, its still very hot." You took a careful sip and put it back on the table. " Arthur crawled back on the couch with you, so you took him under the green blanket. He softly kissed your cheek.

"Um...yeah well I feel better now" you lied.  You didnt wanted him to be worried about you, since Arthur worried about you a lot. Whenever he thought there was the slightest chance for you to get sick or cold or anthing that made you feel uncomforable. He would ask you every five minutes if you already felt better, which was beyond adorable, but still, you didnt wanted him to get worried, because after a while he tended to get nervous and anxious , and that wasnt good for his mental health and insomnia at all. So yo decited to try to hide it from him. But he just knew you so well.

"Are you sure, baby? You seem like there is something wrong? You didnt even ate your fave cookies yesterday. The plate is still full so... I got evidence!" He joked and pulled your nose. "No, I`m fine, Artie, really. I mean.I just woke up beside you. How on earth wouldnt I feel great?" You took another sip of tea.

"Yeah..." Arthur lit himself a cig and stared at the ceiling while his arm was wrapped around you "You know, I just wish we could do this more often. The sleepover.  But its very diffucult to hide you from my mother. I dont know how she would react if she knew that a girl was sleeping in the living room."

You nodded. It was obvious that Arthur loved his mum but he was also afraid to get into a confrontation with her. He would only confront her with anything if there was absolutely no other way to handle it. So you sneaked into his apartment when Penny was already asleep.

"Sooo what if she just wakes up and walks through the living room? She will notice me for sure."

Arthur shook his head while he took a deep drag of his cig "She will not wake up".

"What do you mean?"

"She took some sleeping pills yesterday. Well... I made her do it but...anyway..." he stroke your hair "Dont worry abut that okay? She will still be asleep for the next few hours for sure. And even if she will wake up, she would be so confused, you could just hide under the blanket and she wouldnt notice anything."

"I see... you thought of anything didnt you? I wonder what she would sayif she knew there was a girl on the couch."

Arthur leaned in to kiss your ear "Just think of what she would do if she knew what I did with this girl last night...?!"

You smirked "Yeah that was definitely helping with feeling better."

"So what do you think she would do?"

"She would tell you you`re a naughty boy"

Arthur put the cig in his pink ashtray and  kissed you passionately.

"Yeah...being naughty is fun isnt it?"

You nodded under the sweet pressure of his lips.

You tried to be as quiet as possible, even though he claimed that Penny wouldnt wake up.  She was still in the back of your mind. There was something about the thought of being caught that you really liked.

Arthur checked the clock "Oh. I gotta go to work now. I`m pretty late. " He got up from the couch and grabbed his clown gear. You stood up to change your clothes as you realized how your head was spinning. Arthur didnt noticed. He was distracted by checking his bag.  " We`ll see each other on Monday, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I will visit  when you get home from work. "

Arthur grabbed the keys "Great. I cant wait to see you again, sweetheart. Any plans for today?"

You opened teh door "Yeah I will visit my best friend over the weekend. We`ll be watching movies and stuff."

You both headed down the hallway and got into the elevator "Sounds like fun" Arthur smiled at you with so much love in his eyes. His tiney wrinkles made you want to cover his beautiful face with kisses.

"What?" he asked as he noticed you staring.

"Nothing....its just...I love you so god damn much!"

Arthurs cheeks turned red "Dito!" he said, gently touching your cheek before you said goodbye. You watched him running towards the subway station. He was really late.

Being in the elevator a minute ago made your dizzyness even worse. You closed your eyes for a moment, wondering if you might catched the flu. You felt sick to the stomach for about three days now and it didnt seemed to get any better.  Hopefully it wouldnt ruin the whole weekend. You knew that your best friend bought sweets and cake but you didnt felt like eating anything at all.

Thirty minutes later you arrived. Your best friend welcomed you with the warmest hug. She was the only one who accepted your love to Arthur. Most of your other friends thought he was weird for his laughter and for still living with his mother at the age of 35. You started to realize that some of those people didnt even deserved your friendship, especially they didnt deserved to get to know the wonderful man that Arthur was.

"Hey Y/N ! I`m glad you`re here. I`ve planned something for tonight. You will be excited to hear about it. How is Arthur doing?"

You got out of your jacket and sat down on the couch "He`s doing fine. Thank you for asking. He`s on some new meds and they are much better than the last ones he had."

"I`m happy to hear this. But you kno what his best medicine is? YOU. Imean it. He looks so much healthier since the two of you meet each other on a regular basis."

Hearing those words coming out of her mouth meants the world to you "Thank you so much. I appriciate that. The others dont understand...."

"Pffff" she headed to the kitchen and came back with a huge self made pizza "Dont listen to them. They are idiots. Every single one of them. Arthur is a nice guy and he is good for you. I can see the way you look at each other. There is so much love between you."

"Yeah. I really do love him. More than anything. I think he`s my soulmate."You smiled "I understand him.  And he gets me. We get each other. We dont even have to say anything. Its just....we know. We`re the same. "

"Heyyyyy check this out" she put the huge pizza on the table in front of you "Its self made. i`m kinda proud. We will kill this delicios thing this evening. What do you think?"

Just looking at the food made you feel sick again "Um.....yeah thats....great. It looks delicious"

Your friend put her hand on your forehead "Y/N. You look kinda pale."

"Yeah...I dont feel so well....its been this way for half a week now. I can barely eat something and I feel dizzy at times and just....weird. Like...I dont know my body and mind feel funny and....I dont know....I havent slept for days..." you started crying.

"Ohhh noooo why are you crying? Is there anything going on with Arthur you wouldnt tell me?"

You wiped a tear away "No. No really. He is fine. I`m just very sensitive these days. I`m not sure why.... maybe it was all to much with the others not respecting Arthur as my boyfriend. ...I dont know....Just stressed out emotionally I think.. But I will be fine."

Your friend told you  that you didnt have to eat anything if you dont feel like it, but two hours later you decited to give it a try and grabbed a piece of her selfmade pizza. After one slice you felt so bad you coudlnt hide it from your bestie anymore "Oh my god. I think I gotta go to the bathroom" you hurried up and closed the door behind you.

"Y/N? Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah....kinda....just...I`m just sick to the stomach. I think I catched the flu or something. maybe its better for me to go home. I dont want you to get infected."

Ten minutes later you got back into the living room again. She waited for you with a big grin on her face. Why would she make fun of you feeling sick?

"Feeling better?" the grin still lingering on your lips. It kinda hurt you to see her reaction.

"No. I think I`m gonna go home. I think I have to rest until I see Arthur again on Monday.  I dont want to cancel our date. He is looking forward to it. I`m sorry thatI ruined our weekend before it even started...."

She giggled.

"Why are you laughing? Cant you see I`m feeling like shit?"

She pointed at the empty place beside her "Si down Y/N. And calm down for a second. I dont think that you`re ill at all. You feel sick to the stomach, dizzy and emotionally sensitive.....Think about what it might be."

"I dont know what you are talking about!" you yelled

"Oh I see, currently very emotional with your  reactions."

"Yeah go ahead making fun of me" you replied with a dissappointed look on your face.

"Y/N. You and Arthur I mean....you want to stay together right?"

"Of course we do!"

"You love each other to death?"

"Yeah!"

She clapped her hands "So I think Monday will be even more special when he hears the news!"

"Which news?" you still didnt understood what she was all about.

"Y/N. My dear, you might be pregnant with Arthur`s child!"

The very second you heard her saying this your heart just stopped. You tried to think about the symptoms  but all you could think about was Arthur and how he would react if this was really true. You rubbed your dimples, tried to remember how one of your friends felt like when she got pregnant.  It really could be it.

"Oh my god..." you whispered.

"YES great news. I mean....if you really are this would be great news for you, right? Hopefully...I mean...did you talked about that? You and Arthur?"

Concentrating was hard "We did....I mean....a while ago he told me how much he loves kids and that he always wanted to have a family and .....I mean look at him when he is with kids. he would be a great dad. I know he would. "

"And how do YOU feel about it?" she asked.

"I...I`m not sure....I mean...I want to spent the rest of my life with him and...the thought of being a parent is stil kinda scare, isnt it? But...yeah I think I really want to have a kid with Arthur. He is the only man who ever made me feel this way. Its just overwhelming right now. The thought that it might happen NOW. But yeah...I would be happy about it for sure. " you started to cry. Your best friend hugged you tight "Shhhhhtt . Eighter way it will be good. What do you think about going to the pharmacy and get a test right now? So you dont have to ask yourself that question all day?"

You nodded. Knowing would help. You just had to know if your friend was right.

An hour later you couldnt stop your hands from shaking as you got back to your friends apartment. The pregnancy test in your hand felt surreal. You never did such a test before, so you sat down with her to read everything through.

"Are you ready?" she asked you.

You werent sure. How could anyone ever be ready for something like that? Deep down you knew that there was nothing to be afraid of. The more you thought about it, the more you wanted the test to turn out positive. You just felt deep in your heart that Arthur would be happy,too. There was only a slight chance that he would be too overwhelmed and scared. But then again, who wouldnt be?

"No. I`m not ready" you smiled while you said it out loud.

"But you are smiling! Thats a good thing. Take your time. We can do this tonight if you want."

You got up and headed to the bathroom "No. No. I really want to know now.  So I will have more time to think about how I will tell Arthur on Monday."

"Ha! You`re already talking like you are pregnant. I like that" her face lighted up.

And you realized that this was true. Somehow you suddenly felt like you already knew. Like everything was coming together. You imagined Arthur holding your baby for the first time. Imagined his big puppy eyes while trying to make his kid laugh. You already felt the love he was radiating as a dad. Your eyes started watering when you closed the door behind you. You followed the discriptions of the test and waited.

It wasnt long but it felt like a lifetime.

So many scenarios went through your head. Any possible reaction from Arthur. You checked the watch. It was time to take a look at the result. Your heart was beating fast. You didnt even knew how much you wanted a kid with him until now. You hoped for the test to be positive. So much it would even hurt you if it was not the case. This morning you didnt even thought of being a parent and suddenly it was all you could think about. Arthur as a dad. Arthur as the father of your child. What a wonderful life it would be! Not easy, but wonderful and worth living for.

Your shaky hand grabbed the test with eyes closed. One deep breath in. And another.

Okay.

Now.

Now you will know.

Postive. The test was positive. Arthur and you would be parents soon!

You wished for him to be here with you right now. A brief moment you felt regret for not making the test when he was there with you but anyway, you would make sure to surprise him in the sweetest way!

"Ohhh my god, you were right!" you screamed as you got out of teh bathroom "You were right!!!!"

Your friend ran towards you and held you tight "I knew. I just knew. I am so happy for you. Are you happy? You are feeling good, right? Oh my god!"

"Yeah, I...I am happy. So much happier than I thought I would be. I cant wait to tell Arthur the day after tomorrow. God, I dont even know if I can wait until then. But I have to because....I want the surprise to be perfect. And I gotta figure out how I will tell him the news!"

"You`re going to be a great mum Y/N. I just know. And Arthur is going to be the funniest daddy ever!"

You sat down on teh couch, dizzy but happy at heart "Wow,thats just...a lot to think about!"

Your friend told you to rest and made you a cup of tea to calm your stomach.  You realized that life would never be the same again after the kid would be born. But you wanted it. You wanted it all. With him. And him only.

It was so hard to no tell Arthur when he called you the next day. But you wanted to see his face when you told him. You wanted to feel his arms around you and this wasnt possible through the phone, so you waited for Monday evening.

You made sure that you arrived earlier than he would and put the pregnancy test into an envelope, so he would find it as soon as he checked the box for letters. He always did because his mum was waiting on a letter from Thomas Wayne for months now. Standing in the hallway was torture. You checked your watch at least twenty times until he finally arrived. Arthur was still wearing his clown make up. He carried his green wig and clown shoes in his big bag, looking tired. "Ohhhh honey. I`m so glad to be home. It was a long day at HaHas.  There was a kids birthday. I danced for at least three hours. But it was worth it. You should have seen the little boys face! God. I love making kids happy.....Y/N? Are you okay?"

"Arthur!" you jumped into his arms and felt him with all your senses.  "Yes I`m fine. Just so.....good to see you again and I missed you so much!"

A real smile was visible underneath his big, red fake smile "I`m happy to have you in my arms again,too. I missed you the moment you walked out of the elevator two days ago!"

Arhur grabbed his keys to open the letter box. That was the moment. In less than a minute he would know.

"A letter!" he mumbled "Maybe my mum finally gets what she was waiting for ."  He checked the envelope. "Wait....It says For Arthur....there is no stamp and....this is...your handwriting...?" he looked at you. The confused frown on his face made you want to kiss him so bad.

"Open it, darlin. please!"

Arthurs fingers felt that there was something in it.

"Darling, its not even my birthday." he joked "Did you got me a present?" he reached for what was in there and pulled it out.

Arthurs face froze for a moment. No reaction. Just him staring at the test and the little note that said "Soon we`re going to be a family! "

For a second your heart seemed to stop. Why didnt he say anything? Why wasnt he even moving? Was it bad news for him?

The envelope fell down to his feet as he covered his face with his hands. He was crying.

"A-Arthur? Darling?" you took a step closer to him. And another. Until you were able to put your arm around him. His tiney body was shaking.

"Arthur....please say something.

Seeing him cry now was torture. You were looking forward to this moment until you saw the test result and now he was crying in silence. He didnt even looked at you. His beautiful hands just covered his face while he was sobbing like a little boy.

"Oh Arthur, I thought....I really thought this would make you happy,too?!"

Arthur uncovered his face. His puffy eyes glanced at you with love "Are you kidding me Y/N? Of course I am happy. I was never happier in my whole life! Oh my god. I am....I never felt this way before. We are going to be a family! This is all I ever wanted in life. Thank you for making my dream come true!" Arthur fell into your arms. His head resting on your shouders  as tears of happiness ran down his face.

Now you started crying too.

"Oh god, I`m so glad. So reliefed. You`re going to be the best daddy ever. I love you so much, Artie! So incredibly much."

Arthur kissed you softly on the lips. Traces of his clown make up covered the corner of your mouth.

"You know what? Tomorrow I`m taking a day off and we`ll have a beautiful picnic in the park. Just the two of us. Out on a date to celebrate this! And when we`re back home, I´m going to tell my mum!"

You smiled "Your mum didnt even knew you had a girlfriend. She will be shocked."

"So what? Its our life! And our desicion. We will be looking for a new home anyway."

"Yeah" you wiped a curl out of his face.

"C`mon, honey, lets get in and relax for the night."

Arthur took you by the hand and soon you found yourself all cuddled up on the couch. Arthur on your side. Skin on skin. His breath behind your ear. His hand caressing your belly.

"So you think its going to be a boy or a girl?" he asked you while his fingers gently moved in circles. He lit some candles to make it even cozier for you.

"I dont know" you whispered "I would love a son who looks just like his father."

Arthurs hand on your tummy felt so calming. Like a charm that made your child feel loved.

"And I would love a daughter who is just as precious as her mother."

You smiled.

"I promise I will try my best to be a good dad. I will make our kid laugh as often as possible and teach him or her how to do magic tricks and I´ll dance to make the child feel better. I will try anything. to be.....good enough! I`m gonna take good care of our baby."

"I know you are going to be amazing. Who wouldnt love to have a funny clown as a father?"

Arthur leaned in to kiss you "I promise you, I will find a job as a stand up comedian so we can afford much more than now. I`m gonna make it work. "

"I know we will Arthur. The two....no. The three of us together."

Arthur pulled you even closer to his chest. The warmth of his body lulled you in as you drifted away into sleep. The last thing you`ve heard before your eyes closed was Arthur whispering "Sleep tight, little angel" while he placed his lips on your belly to kiss your child good night.

[vegetalass]

RDR2 Boys as Sugar Daddies

This is so nasty don’t read it 👀

18+!!! 

Basically just don’t tell the lawmen I wrote it

Arthur 

His main goal is for you to look nice by his side and for people to be jealous

To say he wants an absolute doll would be an understatement

This man wants a quiet sugar baby who does whatever he wants

And that’s not to say that means someone submissive, just that he wants someone who is open to anything and doesn’t question his requests 

Honestly, just let him choose what you wear

Model everything for him in the dressing room so he can decide if things are a yes or no 

He always says yes, but it’s a process that you cannot skip 

He also likes a sugar baby who’s happy to see him 

The more excited and grateful and kissy you are when you’re around him, the better

Totally milks you for kisses any chance he gets

Specifically, cheek kisses (in public) 

“All I get is a thank you?” or “I’m not so sure, I’m gonna need some more convincing” 

Initiate sex in his car, you won’t regret it 

Also, go with him when he’s shopping for himself... 

The flex rates will be off the charts

Gets you one of those lil necklaces with his initials on it

Please wear his Vineyard Vines flannels 

It’s instant boner material 

John 

Bad at being a sugar daddy, but he gets the job done 

Basically just gets you a credit card attached to his account and leaves it at that

But he loves seeing the your style morph as you buy new clothes and jewelry 

And loves seeing the designer tags and receipts that get left around his house 

Spends a lot more time trying to do stuff with you rather than buy you things 

He’s the one who takes vacations and yacht trips (and whatever else rich people do idfk) because he doesn’t know how else to spoil you 

He’s also the one who wears $500 sweatpants and Gucci slippers all the time 

He’s a bad father not because he doesn’t care about Abigail and Jack, but he takes you to Jack’s sports games and performances (ouch) 

He’s not doing it to be malicious though, he just likes to take his sugar baby along with him when he goes places

And honestly it’s fine because Abigail makes his pockets hurt too 

If you try to take him clothing or jewelry shopping with you, he gets so confused 

You could be trying on the ugliest, most expensive outfit and he’d be like “Yes, looks great, I love it” or could be trying to choose between two pairs of diamond earrings and he wouldn’t be able to tell them apart

TBH, has a private chef

Charles

All about the subtleties 

Expensive flowers and wine delivered to your door

Has custom bracelets and rings made to give you

Picks you up from work in his expensive ass car

Doesn’t care if you’re walking around barefaced in pajamas as long as you’re wearing the gold necklace he got you

He doesn’t really care for doing the shopping with you, but he does want you to be happy

If you ask for anything, he just hands you his credit card and car keys

And then expects you to show (*cough* model) it all to him later, of course

Expect to go out to expensive dinners CONSTANTLY

Also to do other fun things, like go to ballgames, concerts, and etc. 

Probably has a membership at every single private club and store in the area

Loves a good designer, pink sheer bathrobe and matching fuzzy slippers vibe

Also… lipstick stains 

He will walk around all day with them on his face on purpose

If someone points it out, he smiles and ignores them 

Posts pictures of you guys together on social media and doesn’t respond to comments

Buys you all the latest technology the day it comes out

New phone, new headphones, new vacuum cleaner, and anything at all

Basically what I’m saying is: marry him 

Micah 

Since we’re already being nasty, he’s probably just in it for the sex

He wants you to look nice too, but for him, it’s more about the reward he gets from it at the end 

AKA: Taking it off of you 

He’s a freak of nature, so his favorite thing is seeing his sugar baby in pretty heavy makeup 

Mostly because he likes seeing it run and smear over time

Gets off to you telling other people how much you love him and showing off everything he’s bought you

He’s also willing to spend more on you if you brag

Like Arthur, he likes to have a deciding vote on everything you buy, but he actually takes it seriously and comments on how things look

Probably ends up complaining if you want to buy things that aren’t meant to impress him (see: pajamas, expensive snacks, furniture, etc. )

If you beg hard enough though, he’ll just sigh and give in 

“I work so hard for you and give you so much and this is how you treat me?” 

Sugar baby: “Yes.”

Expects nudes in the underwear he ships to your house 

They’re all G-strings, see through, or latex 

Kieran 

One of those sugar daddies who mostly just wants the emotional connection 

But that’s okay because he’s a sweetie and we love him

Enjoys it when his sugar baby gets a little bratty 

He’s not into the punishing aspect of it, but loves feeling needed and useful

Basically just boss him around a little bit

Has all your clothes tailored specifically for you

Likes to hold all your shopping bags at the mall while you run around buying things

If you genuinely ask him for advice, suggestions, or thoughts on anything you want to get, he immediately has to get it for you… Doesn’t matter what it is or if it’s ugly, them’s the rules 

He’s mostly just so touched that you care what he thinks 

Please introduce him to your coworkers so he can flex 

He’s pretty humble about it, but it’s still fun 

Probably owns some super large ranch out in the country that you both vacation at a lot

The one social media post he makes of you is a picture of you riding a fancy horse there

It’s blurry, but it’s the thought (and the flex) that counts

Wear anything with his name on it and he has to pass away immediately 

Javier

As long as you’re in expensive clothes and makeup, he doesn’t really care about much else 

And not just any expensive clothes, the expensive clothes that HE picked out

Usually they match his

You can suggest things for him to buy, but overall he likes to pick things out

The intent of making you look nice is so that he looks better

Enjoys it when you hang on his arm and dote on him 

Be taller than him. 

Even if it takes heels, do it

Posts pictures of his sugar baby on social media

Lowkey his entire feed is just you in a different outfit in every single photo

The captions are all like “Had fun today” or “👍”

Hair and nails always done 24/7

He makes the appointments for you 

If you let him choose the color and style, you will be rewarded 

Hires a limo for every occasion 

And yes, he has a private driver 

As long as he’s flexing with you, he’s happy 

Sean

Anything you want, you have to ask for

Not because he doesn’t want to get it for you, but because he wants to hear you beg for it (and whine) 

Literally just wants to show his sugar baby off 

All he does at parties is talk about you 

How you met, how sweet you’ve been, how pretty you are, etc. 

Constantly bringing you flowers

So many flowers that they’re practically just laying around your house 

Sex in dressing rooms

No, he’s not afraid to give you oral in them

And yes, it’s obvious 

Slips the attendant some cash on the way out because you feel so bad for them

Probably has tabs open at most shops and clubs, so paying isn’t a problem after he introduces you to staff

Pays for a private booth at a nightclub vibes

Sit on his lap to make the other boys jealous 

[wherearemyglassesbro]

I have a question for the lawyer AU, if that's okay? For each of the defense attorneys and prosecutors, do they have an MO when they're in court? And/or, do any of them get really nervous before cases/in the courtroom and have ways to calm themselves down?

AYYYYY A LAWYER AU ASK!!!! ITS BEEN 84 YEARS!!!! SINCE IVE GOTTEN TO TALK ABOUT THIS AU LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Defense attorney Kirkland: Arthur is always a wreck before trials. He’s jittery and nervous, he rarely gets any sleep before trials so he’s up around 3am, pacing around his apartment and rereading every paper he can get his hands on. He practices talking in the mirror and washes his face multiple times to keep himself wide awake. Copious amounts of tea are consumed as well as an everything bagel....mmm...yum. He’s at the courthouse hours beforehand, sitting in his car reviewing paperwork. Again. In the courtroom, Arthur is very persistent. He’s always pressing for more information and wording things juuuuuust right in order to get the answers he needs from the witnesses. He often refers back to paperwork since that stuff is written out and is just...easy to go back to. He also just asks a lot of questions in general and once he gets answers, he’s ready to talk. This guy can talk for hours and hours, he’s great at it. He scores extra points with the jury just because he’s easy to listen to and trustworthy

Defense attorney Jones: Alfred isn’t a full fledged attorney yet, he’s shadowing Arthur so whatever Art does, he has to do. He has to get up at the butt crack of dawn to meet Art in the courthouse parking lot. Al gets himself a muffin and a Pink Drink and he’s ready to do. He’ll sit on the hood of Art’s car and just listen to him ramble lmao. Alfred is a very friendly guy, he’s open and looks trustworthy. He makes an effort to never look angry in court! He thinks getting upset or angry looks bad for the defense and he isn’t entirely wrong. He’s nice while asking questions, he asks things that are worded in a certain way so he’ll get an answer he’s looking for! He doesn’t get to talk too much since again, he’s still shadowing Art, but when he does everything is calculated. Cause Al is young....but...smart :)

Defense attorney Herdarvey: I did not spell her name right but anyway, Eliza is a feminist icon in her workspace. She is super organized and has very case she’s ever worked with/on in color coded binders. She is super intelligent and hard working!! In court, you’ll see her taking notes or flipping through her binder or twirling her pen between her fingers while she listens to the prosecution or the witness testimonies. She isn’t harsh while conducting cross examinations but she is very cunning when she wants to be. She’ll ask questions to purposely make the witness admit the truth which is very impressive, especially if the Braginskys are the prosecutors cause they...uh...’coach’ witnesses on what to say sometimes. Before going to court she drinks tea in her car by herself while listening to Led Zepplin to get fuckin HYPED UP!!! Then she’ll meet with her client again to hype them up ‘it’ll be okay! We’re gonna win this one, we have it in the bag no worries’. Then she cracks her neck, knuckles and knees. Now she’s ready to go.

Prosecutor Edelstein: Roderich has a SET routine for court days and he will get very cranky if he cannot fufil his routine. He goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 4am. He eats a croissant with some tea and then goes over the case file, autopsy report, evidence, anything he can. At 6, he gets ready for the day. At 6:45, he’s in the car debating with himself throughout the entire drive to the courthouse. He meets with his team and witnesses, who he makes get there early too, to talk and reassure. He’ll pace around the parking lot, or inside if it’s too hot, until his knees hurt lmao. He always takes three ibuprofen before any trial because he anticipates getting a headache. Now its showtime. Roderich is a man of mystery, he always has a trick up his sleeve. Vaugely worded questions to trip up the defense, additional evidence to present, hes done it all. He’s is a very fantastic talker, he can talk for hours and hours and to be honest??? He always sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. The jury loves that, especially if he’s going up against Kirkland or Jones, the jury usually ends up favoring Rod solely because he explains his points better or something like that.

Prosecutor Braginskya: Nat is a very strict lady, she has a VERY specific way of doing things. Like Roderich, she’s high strung and bossy. She sends emails out first thing in the morning to make sure that her team is ready to go. Usually they’re not at 5am. Cue instant frustration. She gives herself a temple massage and has an eclair before heading in. Early of course. She walks slow laps around the court building, muttering to herself, she’s walking in tennis shoes and switches back to heels once she goes inside. She doesn’t get nervous really but she feels a lot of pressure before a trial. She is very persistent when working against the defense, she always hurries to aid the witnesses so they don’t slip up and she often accuses the defense of badgering her witnesses. She is a very smart woman but she isn’t the most fantastic talker in the world. Lawyers talk for a living and Nat is just fine at it! She isn’t the best but she makes up for it with her professional, serious aura

Prosecutor Braginsky: Ivan...oh Ivan. Ivan wakes up at 6:30 on the dot, irons his suit and styled his hair. He doesn’t eat before trials because his stomach hurts when he’s nervous and that wouldn’t help him very much. He does drink a lot of water though! And crunches the ice. He’s at the courthouse 30 minutes before the trial, which is later than any other prosecutor, but he’s still early enough to consult his team! He talks to the witnesses again and reminds them not to talk TOO much or give TOO much information because ‘the defense will start to get to them’. In the courtroom, Ivan is always happy to listen to the defense. He always lets them talk and talk because when they do that, they sometimes talk themselves into a corner. Now thats when he strikes “oh? You’re sure it happened that way? Well I was under the impression....” he rarely objects or yells but he is intimidating without having to be loud. He smiles through most trials, not a super wide one but a soft, confident smile.

Prosecutor Bonnefoy: Francis is not very organized at all but he makes it work. He has his briefcase full of papers...and they’re out of order. Before every court day he gets up super early to pace around his apartment while yelling about why he thinks this person he’s prosecuting is guilty. An advantage he has is that he memorizes things very quick so even though he most likley lost his copy of the accident report, he remembers the whole thing. After pacing around for an hour he’ll leave, taking the freeway into work. He sings along with an opera CD in his fancy sports car while going fuckin 95mph. By the time he gets to the courtroom he’s no longer nervous. He consults his team, goes over the papers he can find, makes fun of the defense and then it’s time to fuckin go. He does a lot of talking which usually makes the defense nervous. He’s confident in everything he says and everything his witnesses say. He doesn’t coach them the Braginsky way but he does assure them ‘you don’t tell them anything they don’t need to know cher, really. If you give too many details they’ll rip you apart! That’s the way the defense works. So be vague when you can but not too vague. Got it?’. He makes a show of his prosecution really but it’s a strategy that works. He’s won a lot of cases that way

Judge Beilschmidt: I’m including Lud cause I didn’t want him to feel left out :) Before every case he hears, he always likes to sit in silence for a few minutes to clear his mind. He has deep breathing exercises on his phone so he’ll just listen for about 10 minutes, giving himself time to relax before the chaos begins. He then collects his papers, straightens them out and lint rolls his judge robes. Then he’s all ready to go. When in court, he is totally unbiased. He was trained to be unbiased and he is always willing to hear both sides so he tries to be quiet while others talk but if things get too rowdy he doesn’t hesitate to slam that gavel down “NO YELLING IN MY COURTROOM!!!!” Oop- so much for quiet. After hearing a case and the guilty or not guilty verdict is delivered, he almost always feels his stomach drop all funny cause he always worries if he did the right thing. His brain says yes, that was the right call. But deep down he’s always afraid that he’s a bad judge. When he goes home he lets his dogs and after a tough case, he makes himself a bowl of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream on top.

[equalseleventhirds]

i get why we dont see any other ways of categorizing fears in the podcast, but out of curiosity, what do you think other fear taxonomy's might be like?

i have actually given this very little thought bcos i am on that fear soup train and am coming up with stuff on the fly (if someone else has more thoughts PLEASE share i would LOVE it)

i do think that the development of ppl’s definitions of the fears would have, in most cases, happened organically (like folklore and mythology develop naturally over time). given the existence of........... certain philosophers, though, i’m sure there have been, if not scientific taxonomies (altho those too), then rly awful philosophical categorizations.

...aristotle. i’m saying aristotle made a REALLY BAD taxonomy based on not one iota of research, just his own fucking opinions. do i hate aristotle a lot YES OBVIOUSLY have you SEEN the garbage he came up with, he said that women must have fewer teeth than men bcos they’re ‘incomplete�� and i’m p sure one of the reasons he never checked is that any woman would have bitten him.

now as for like, fears that might be in other ppl’s fear lists (i am not going to make a full fear list, just some examples of what might be out there!)

i’ve talked before abt how fear of being othered (not encountering the Other, being the other, and experiencing the hatred of others bcos of that) and fear of powerlessness (not just being manipulated by an unseen force, altho that can be there too, but like of being forced into things by a force u very much can see as well) SHOULD be things, so like, those.

spiral and stranger overlap too much in smirke’s whole thing; yes, ‘uncanny valley’ fear is different from ‘your brain is wrong’ fear, but so much of the stranger has developed into ‘can’t believe your senses’ and so much of the spiral has turned into ‘things are Wrong’ that i think a lot of ppl would just. put em together. maybe there’s a list out there that’s a lot stricter abt separating uncanny valley out from the madness stuff, but also even that’s a bit difficult, when u get down to it.

slaughter and hunt? fuck it, violence. just violence. like yeah ok i will say that ‘war’ as portrayed by some of the more hardcore This Is War slaughter statements feels different from the very personal violence of the hunt (largely bcos those focus more on the horror of being forced to do violence when you don’t want to, or the horror of the results of war on a much larger scale), but the smaller-scale sudden violence of like, melanie when she had the bullet, or grifter’s bone? those did not feel radically different from like, murder club, or daisy. the large-scale horrors of war can maybe be separate in some taxonomies, but also not every culture through history would have experienced war on such a HUGE level.

(i think hunt would’ve been more interesting/easily separated from slaughter if it wasn’t entirely violence based? like, the fear of being chased is what should separate it out, but that’s not often the POINT. it’s sometimes the point. but other times it’s just fucking violence. did julia and trevor chase down max mustermann? no, they just attacked him. where is the LINE. there is no line it’s soup.)

just to annoy ol bobby smirke i think every other list should separate out bugs and disease. fuck it.

it’s been pointed out before by someone altho i cannot FIND it rn that vast and buried, while supposedly opposites, actually often feel very similar. i think the fear of being overwhelmed and made small, particularly by a force of nature... that could be just one thing, for some ppl. (yes there’s also buried of just being in rly small spaces but that also feels different than some of the buried statements that are About The Earth? hmmm.)

also i think nobody else uses spiders for manipulation. surely some ppl would lump spiders in with other bugs; some ppl would lump spiders in with being preyed upon; but the association with spiders and manipulation is weird! spiders are so much cooler than that AND ALSO none of the arachnophobes i have known (and i have known... a lot actually) were afraid of spiders manipulating them. what the fuck robert. what the fuck JONNY. mistreatment of spiders...

it’d also be fun to have like. a whole mythology of the fears that’s just demons. looking at you diego molina and ur ‘asag’. 

speaking of desolation, yeah i know that in canon we always get fear of loss/destruction with the fire imagery? but i think that’s just bcos we’re so often dealing with ppl with the same influences. i think it’d be fun for other cultures to have a different symbol of destruction. like, somewhere that sees a lot of monsoons or hurricanes? their destruction fear is water/storm based. somewhere with a lot of earthquakes? earth based. somewhere that just got through a massive plague? disease based (fuck arthur nolan specifically).

...speaking of destruction, is there a fear that ppl will come and take things from you, not to destroy them, just to take them? is there a fear based around that? i do not think there is and surely some culture must have one. like, ok, i guess there’s the rich person fear of that, but also for ppl in small, poor communities who were pillaged a lot or overtaxed by a corrupt ruler? i guess that falls under powerlessness but for a culture that didn’t develop a taxonomy with all of powerlessness lumped under one fear... this might either flavor their destruction/loss fear in a very different way than desolation, or define a new fear for them.

[uthseikoashx-inflamedme]

How can everyone find their true-love and still be in love after years in HP? (”magic-soulmates” theory and conservative society)

(I do apologize for the mistakes! I did my best and have been help by websites and things like that, but I’m afraid I’m still not a native speaker. I hope it’s not that bad though. Sorry again!) (when I started writing this I thought “it’s going to be short, I’m gonna explain things quickly”, and well, nope)

Isn’t it curious that a lot of character in Harry Potter meet his true love at school, marry to them, and love them until the very end?

Just a quick list: Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione, Lily and James, Molly and Arthur, Frank and Alice, Neville and Hannah Abbot, James’ parents, Remus’ parents, the Malfoys, the Crouchs... It’s definitely a lot of people who are in love for ever (and I’m sure I’ve forgotten some couples, like Newt and Tina or Luna and Rolf, even if they didn’t meet at school?).

Plus, there are other characters which had a “true love”, and despite the fact they are not (anymore) together, they still love this same person - and they never have been able to move on. Minerva McGo fell for a muggle who died, Severus Snape was obsessed with Lily until his very end - literally -, Albus Dumbledore met Gellert Grindelwald at 17 (or 18) and loved him during decades despite everything his charismatic murderous ex-boyfriend accomplished (and Albus was probably Gellert’s true love), etc.

But in real life, most of the people don’t marry to their school crush and most importantly, don’t love them deeply and unconditionally during decades (or I think so at least). So, why isn’t it working the same in the wizarding world?

Well, it could be because JKR didn’t want to include divorce and wanted to present a (quite unrealistic) model of relationships (and Harry Potter was intially a book for kids, so ok); but couldn’t we find a real reason?

So here are several theories, to fix this... inconsistency?

Again, it’s theories, so there are probably questionable points and things like that. Feel free to say what you think of it!

1. Magic “soulmates”

This one is my favourite, and it’s probably - to my opinion! - the most believable, the most convincing, at least the one with the most potential. (it’s not perfect at all though)

Muggles and wizards/witches aren’t the same human beings. It’s a fact: there are diseases which affects only magic people (the Dragon pox?), magic people live way longer than muggles (Bathilda was older than Dumbledore, who was born in 1881 and died in 1997; Gellert, Elphias and Muriel were still alive in 1998...). Magic seems to have an impact on the body, on the constitution (*).

The assumption is: what if the magic through the body of every wizard or witch was able to... “recognize” or “match” with the perfect person? Because of something muggles don’t have, magic people are able to truly bind themselves with a... soulmate, something like that?

It might be plausible (maybe believable), I have several arguments.

Firstly, magic people are able to feel the surrounding magic - like forces, something immaterial but which has a strong influence. Albus is able to feel the marks of Riddle’s spells in the cave (and I’m strongly convinced that his magic and Gellert’s were... connected, that they were capable to feel and recognize each other magic, because both of them were bloody brilliant, but it’s not the subject). We can perhaps also talk about how Newt was able to detect the prints of magical creatures and Tina after they left the streets, in FBCOG. It shows that magic is everywhere, and it has a strong influence on the physical world.

Secondly, we have proofs that magic is far more complex than spells and things like that: Unbreakable Vows or Fidelius Charms imply magic contracts that we don’t understand, students can study things like Arithmancy or Divination, which are subtle arts... But the greatest example of it is certainly Lily’s protection. Magic is complex.

Thirdly, we can suppose that every witch or wizard has a very personal magic - a reflection, a part of their personality, of their soul (which exist in Harry Potter). Maybe souls are entirely a magic thing, after all (it’s quite sad for muggles though): I mean that each soul is perhaps the magic energy of a witch or a wizard, the source of their power (but again it’s not entirely the subject here). So each magic, each soul, is able to “scan” other’s soul - other’s magic - and find a perfect match: after all, magic is soul, and consequently, it’s the most intimate part of someone’s personality. And then, people fall in love (because magic and personality match).

I really do appreciate this theory, because I fairly like complex and mysterious magic systems and things like that in HP (that’s why Albus’ and Gellert’s interactions and relation can be utterly interesting btw). Plus, it actually explains why someone is truly in love with the same person for ages.

But, what about wizards or witches which fell in love with muggles - Remus’ dad, Queenie Goldstein, etc? If their partner isn’t a person with a magical soul and stuff, how can they be truly in love and all?

Yes, indeed, it exists; however, we can... fix that.

On one hand, maybe soul and magic are separated, souls have their own energy, and wizard’s or witch’s magic acts to tie the two souls despite the absence of magic through muggle’s bodies. Plus, muggles are affected by magic (we can cast spells on them, but most importantly they also feel subtle magic things, like Dudley with the Dementors (even if we can argue here that the chill we feel when there is a Dementor is something physical and not magic)).

On the order hand, in the muggle world, there is people which are truly in love without magic: so perhaps it is not a question of magic here, they are just... in love. (I hope I’m clear?)

2. Conservative society and appearances

Nevertheless, is it possible that those perfect couples... aren’t absolutely truly in love with each other? So, why didn’t just they broke up?

Perhaps the witchcraft society (can we name it like that?) is actually quite conservative, and not quite open-minded about divorces. Several things we learn in the books support this idea.

First of all, most of the married couples we know promised themselves to each other rather young (Lily and James, Molly and Arthur, Bill and Fleur, Alice and Frank...). I don’t know if it’s because I’m French and I live during the 21st century, but I don’t know a lot of people who chose to marrying before 25 (in fact, I know no one which is younger than 70 today). What if serious relationships in the wizarding world were truly accepted only after a marriage? Almost every person with children is married (the exceptions are Dean’s mother (but she’s a muggle), Bellatrix (she's married but not with the man she had a baby with (****), but it’s in HPCC and honestly, how could this happen), and... I think that’s all?). Marriage is maybe a big deal, an unforgettable and necessary stage in a wizard’s of witch’s life who wants to be recognized as a person in a relationship with legitimate kids.

(to be honest here, they could marry early just because of the war, the fear and all, like Molly said it in HBP (if I remember right); but people of Harry’s gen also married, and Molly complained because Bill is marrying (according her) to the wrong woman, too young, as the overprotective mother she is. We can keep that on mind though. Anyway, back to the point.)

Next, it appears that pure-blood families and traditions are still influential during HP books - racism and how it is not punished (like it’s ok to casually say “mudblood”? we never see people except outsiders or very brave people protest against it? there isn't any law who punishes it?), the representation of pure-blood in the Ministry, the capital owned by some of them (**), ect. And we all know how the purity of the blood is important in those families. What if marriage was initially organized and crucial in the upper classes (pure-blood families) to keep their blood pure, and because they rule the society, they imposed this social convention decades - maybe even centuries - ago? That’s why marriage could be that important. (***)

Finally, there might be so many couples which seem in love... just because they act like they truly were, they accepted they must love the people they were binded with, despite the passing years? Divorce might consequently not an option.

(Also, what if marriages contracts were actually a way to... “create” and assure the love between the two persons? It’s much sadder than the soulmates’ theory, because we can think that the love between two people is artificial, even if it exists originally. I do not like this idea)

This theory (marriage-creating-love excluded) doesn’t exclude the first one though, so why not?

3. Destiny and things like that

We know there are prophecies, destiny and things like that in HP - we know it for sure, with Trelawney’s predictions (even with Grindelwald now). What if there is actually a destiny for everyone, a personal path for everyone, which everyone follow, and which allows to meet a perfect person to be together with?

I don’t have elements to prove this point, and actually, I’m not quite convinced - but it’s possible. However, are really all the characters dominate by a destiny they have to fulfil? Like yeah, Harry is concerned by a prophecy, but 1) it could have been Neville, 2) there is not so many prophecies we know and it’s almost every time about Harry or Voldy.

Plus, it can be seen as... an absence of freedom, and without freedom, how can someone choose how to build himself, how to act ethically, etc? (I know some philosophers said destiny doesn’t exclude freedom and all) My point is that a world entirely conduct by a destiny/future already written (so which also determine true love’s people) is a bit out of HP system and narrative: Harry has to do choices to follow the path of the good, it’s crucial through the books and a lot of characters are determined by their ethic choices (Albus, Draco or Severus in particular?) (I’m trying my best to be understandable)

(all in all, I’m not fan of this theory)

4. There isn’t any “true love”, we only have this impression because of Harry’s pov: arguments and counter-arguments

Here are counter-arguments to the idea of “true love” in Harry Potter. Indeed, our analysis can be biased by Harry’s pov and by the people he chose to be friend with.

Many of true-love-couples are Harry’s friends (or persons he likes). We can think that he likes people with the same opinion on love and relationships; consequently, his friends and the surrounding adults marry because they all like this way of life.

What I want to say here, is that there is probably many persons who haven’t found their truelove, but we don’t met them, or we ignore them: what about Moody, what about Sirius, what about Peter, what about Kingsley, what about all the teenagers who aren’t with the love of their life before 20? We know countless characters, most of them didn’t seem to be together with their soulmate or something like that.

Plus, perhaps we think everybody can find their true love because we just see perfects couples and not messed up couples - because of Harry’s pov. (I swear I���m actually trying to be as clear as possible)

Nevertheless:

single persons can be aro/ace persons;

singles can choose to not be in a relationship, even if they found their perfect match: Moody, Sirius and all have a quite particular story and had suffered from losses, war, injuries - what if Moody lost the person he loved during the war? what if Sirius didn’t want to hurt the person he loved by his eventual death, when he was James’ and Lily’s Secret-Keeper? (it also work if his “true love” is Remus actually);

several persons could have chosen to ignore their feelings, for a reason or another. It could be because of a bad timing, like the war, as we already mentionned it; but also because of personnal reasons (family, denial...); or even social ones: all of the pure-blood don’t have the bravery of a young Andromeda Black on one hand, and the other hand, homosexual relationships don’t seem to be quite accepted in canon - the only two man that we know for sure were involved in a relationship, Albus and Gellert, kept it secret. (***)

actually, there are probably a lot of people who are in a relationship, but we don’t know it (who knows, for example, if Stan has a gf/bf?). Again, Harry’s pov isn’t an omniscient pov; and forgettable characters’ private life is generally not quite important throughout Harry’s epic adventures;

we still can’t deny there is way more married and happy couples (so people who are together with the same person a very long time) in the wizarding world than in the muggle world. Even if there are exceptions and if we know single persons, we still have the same problem: people are able to find their true love very young and stays with the same person the rest of their lives, pleased - even entirely blooming.

We can yet argue that nobody talk about a “soulmate bond” and something like that through HP stories. If there was actually a true-magic-allowed-love, witches and wizards should know it, right?

However, a magic link as complex, subtle, imperceptible, cryptic, primitive, puzzling as true-love-magic-bond could be far from easy to be analysed and understood by any enchanter of sorceress. It will be like... quantum mechanics or things like that. We might need brilliant people who work on it during their whole life and who are helped by complicate and modern instruments, impenetrable knowledge, etc. And we know that:

there is less magic people than muggles (seriously, I once tried to estimate how many wizards and witches lived in Great Britain and... so little), so there is consequently fewer people who have the abilities and the will to research things like "true-love-magic-link”;

a lot of muggles discoveries had been done during the 20th century, despite the war... however, wizards had to deal with muggle’s wars, wizardkind’s wars (hi Grindelwald and Voldemort), while maintaining the International Statue of Wizarding Secrecy, and it’s a lot. So perhaps nobody really had time to think about it.

Plus, it is possible that other countries in other continents had proved it, but European countries and US don’t care; also, perhaps it has been proved in the past - like 4000 years before our age - but then it has been forgotten.

Nonetheless, there is a serious counter-argument to the true-love-thanks-magic theory: love potions doesn’t exist. Amortentia creates a strong obsession but never creates love. Slughorn (and Dumbledore, if I remember well) explained love can’t be created with magic. Consequently, Slughorn seems to say that love between two persons in the wizarding world is created by... feelings, like in the muggle world. Plus, an important message of the books (and now in the movies with FB) is that muggles and wizardkind are equal, have to be considered as... identical, almost? Love is a strong power, and it's even stronger than magic - love's the real important thing to protect, etc. That's why a magic-soulmate theory might be debatable.

But if we suppose that attraction and true love between two people is based on magic/soul matching, a simple potion - and even a strong spell - has of course any effect on love and things like that: feelings and magic are far more subtle, personal, a spell or a potion can’t influence someone’s soul (or just Dark magic), etc.

I know yet that JKR wanted probably to say that love is more elevated than magic, she wanted to sublime humans’ emotions and things like that - or it’s what I understood when I read the books. So yes, the fact that love can’t be created by magic is a serious counter-argument: it goes against some of what seems to be author's ideas and characters explanations (Dumbledore's at the end of DH). It doesn’t throw away the theory in my opinion, but it questions it though.

Conclusion:

I can’t think about something which can actually answers to our initial question except what we already said. I want to believe that magic binds people together and helps them find the perfect match, because if I don’t believe it, relationships in Harry Potter make not much sense to me. (even if there are definitely debatable points) (and again it’s just my pov/opinion)

So there were the theories, etc!

Honestly, an inconstancy like that is not a that big deal, but I still do want to fix it. It’s in my mind since ages srly I can’t bear it anymore I need to talk about it. I’m glad it’s done.

Thanks for reading, and have a good day / evening / night / whatever!

* : ... magic seems to have an impact on the body, on the constitution: in fact, we know it for sure: Riddle’s appearance changed radically after he created Horcruxes. This point can also lead us to think that soul and magic are the same thing, or are at least strongly connected.

**: ... the representation of pure-blood in the Ministry, the money who owns some of them: if you’re interested, I developed a bit more this idea in the post:  Why are the Weasleys poor? (eng&fr) (theories about pure-blood families, inheritance, etc)  

***:  That’s why marriage could be that important.: for several reasons (that I want to expose but not in this post bc it’s already quite long), I do believe lgb+ relationships (or transidentity, or everyone which is not cishet basically) are not accepted, and same-gender marriage is certainly not allowed in the wizarding world during Harry’s years at Hogwarts. If we think now about the pressure on teens and young adults about marriage if they want to have kids, to be accepted as “a person in a serious relationship” or be seen as accomplished adults, we can understand why many lgbtqi+ people never came out. It could explain why we don’t see outed lgbtqi+ people or couples at Hogwarts, in the Order, or everywhere else. (yep, i’m trying to “explain” in the canon a lack of representation, even if we all know why there isn’t lgbtqi+ ppl - JKR just wrote it that way. (i do not support what she said and she did recently.)) (futhermore it could support the theory of the several uses/significations of the blood pact between Albus and Gellert, an alternative to an engagement ring they couldn’t have but wanted to have? idk)

****: 3rd august edit : I did a mistake and I was unclear, because I previously said Bellatrix wasn't married, as someone gently tell me! It's now corrected. (if you want details, it's on the comments!)

(again, sorry for the mistakes, thanks for reading!)

[ajokeformur-ray]

I got somethin: write headcannons about Erileck. Your own, personal view. Gotta give my favorite ship some love, and also more ideas when I write you stuff 😈💜

OMFGGGGG omgomgomgomg skskksskk I’ve been stockpiling this for a few days bc I gotta think even though it’s my relationship sksksk but I hope this hits your OTP spots + helps as a future ref.

This is written in 1st person bc it’s Joker + I. I hope that doesn’t bother anyone skkssk this is gonna be so much fun I’m hyped!!! There’s no organisation to this lmao so there are jumps all over the place pfft.

Warnings for mentions of trauma, anxiety, depression, also smoking, swearing. Also NSFW bc duh xp 

Word count: 3, 207 (woops?)

Questions or comments on my relationship with Joker are welcomed!! I’m sure there are things I haven’t even considered skskks and ngl I do love talking about our relationship pfft.

Joker and I… sksksk I’d be lucky.

Someone like him loving someone like me??? Ridiculous. A dream.

Someone like me loving someone like him??? Don’t be silly.

… And that’s precisely why we work so well together.

We choose to love each other each and every single day. Again and again, no matter what, we find the time to come back together at the end of a long, exhausting day.

I was with Arthur from the very beginning of the film.

I bumped into Carnival outside Kenny’s Music, and I stood to the side to watch him spin that everything must go! sign. 

I’m scared of clowns but something about this clown captured and maintained my interest and so it was that once this particular rendition of Temptation Rag was over, I approached Carnival and sincerely thanked and complimented him on his performance. 

Both of us blushing, both of us unsure, but neither of us can resist the almost magnetic pull which the other gives off. So I invited him to coffee and dinner (and I paid for everything, of course) and neither of us ever looked back.

I fell in love with Arthur before I even knew his name, and when I love it’s… intense and I fall hard, and I fall fast, and I can never stand back up.

I’ve been told before that I love “too intensely” and it’s “too much” for people (I was told this by my abusers so I suppose they were lying but… it’s a very open, raw wound which I battle daily), but for Arthur the way I love is just right. He needs that clinginess, that reassurance.

I’m already in tears thinking of everything I feel and everything I want to say lmao…

I turned my entire life upside down for him without a single regret, forethought or anything like that, and I never looked back sksksksk.

I stayed with him as Arthur and I did everything I could for him - bought his prescriptions, bought him food, helped him to keep the apartment clean… there were arguments because he thought I was merely looking at him as a charity case, or he was wary in case I was just after something…

But with time, patience and persistence I managed to get Arthur to be at least comfortable around me.

We fell in love together but neither of us said anything. We’re both too shy, too scared of rejection…

I don’t know how we got together, it’s just that one day I stayed overnight at Arthur’s apartment to help him take care of Penny and to take care of him, so exhausted was he…

… And I never left.

I was with him through it all and I made it known only to him that I was proud of him every time he stood up for himself. They all had it coming, anyway (I have a flexible morality lmao).

I love his jokes; he and Bill Hader are my favourite comedians (shush I know Bill wasn’t around in the 80s but work with me) and I adore it when he shares them with me.

The darker the better, imo. My favourites are the ones you laugh at because there’s no other reaction to give.

But I digress.

So. Present day. 

He’s Joker and oh, if I thought I loved Arthur… 

I have a very deep, very raw and passionate love for Joker. He is… he’s my entire world and I love him so much I’m tearing up while I type this. He’s so beautiful it makes me cry daily.

Every time I cry because of how beautiful he is, I go straight to Joker. He deserves to see how loved he is. Sometimes I get upset because I don’t feel satisfied with the level of love I’m showing him; it’s never enough and he deserves more.

This most often happens at night, because I get very Soft™ at night.

As such, Joker and I have a very special nightly routine. 

We spend all day thinking about it but we don’t do this particular thing until nighttime, when we can put our lives away and just soak in each other’s presence.

I cry very easily. Happy, sad, angry, frustrated, upset, elated, joyful, sorrowful… any mood you can think of, I will cry if the emotion reaches a certain intensity.

It’s not unusual for me to come into the living room late at night when I’m in my pyjamas (an oversized t-shirt and a pair of undies - yes, even in winter lmao just pile on the blankets) with tears in my eyes, for whatever reason.

Every time Joker looks up to see this sight, his eyes roam over my body and he smiles, a soft “awwh” leaving his lips as he straightens his legs so I can sit down on his lap.

I sit on his lap and cup his painted face in my hands and I smother him in kisses. I start off slow and then I speed up as the love within my heart grows, and Joker always ends up holding my wrists in his hand and giggling under my touch. 

It usually ends up with one or both of us crying. Joker’s so shocked and so awed that I’m still with him even now, and I just love him so much I can’t do anything else.

Joker’s lap is the best seat and it’s my favourite.

I study there, I sit there, I sleep there. 

Cockwarming is also a common occurrence.

If he’s sat a certain way so I can’t sit on his lap, I’m not afraid to press down on his uppermost knee so he straightens out so I can get comfortable on him.

“Can I have my seat back, please?” or “You stole my seat” are common ways of asking for him to move for me.

He is also my clown blanket skkksksk our favourite sleeping position is for me to lay on my back and for Joker to lay atop me. He becomes everything I can feel and his head rests either on my chest or on my stomach, depending on what he wants. My hands are in his hair… and we sleep.

So, naturally, there are copious opportunities for Joker to love me awake ;) many a morning do I awaken to the sensation of fingers gripping my hips, holding me down while he worships me with his mouth.

We don’t do NSFW things .v. often, we prefer to cuddle and just be close. 

Both of us are virgins and shy ones at that, lmao, so it took awhile for things to even get to that point.

We discovered we just prefer to cuddle over full out sex; less messy, for one.

Full sex is usually for the times when words aren’t enough; after an argument, or when either of us is especially sad or just needs something.

When I want to do this, I usually say, “how about you werewolf and go wild on me now?” and he howls before breaking out in laughter, which I stifle with a kiss…

If Joker wants to, one look from him and I just know. He doesn’t even have to say anything.

My answer is always yes. There’s nothing I won’t do for him and he knows it; it’s okay, though, because he’s the same way for me. We balance each other out really well.

During the rare times I’m awake before Joker is, I’ll kiss him awake; his face, his neck, chest, those adorable soft curves on his stomach�� 

Any and every excuse which I can think of do I use to love him. 

It’s a daily goal to love him so hard that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He deserves nothing less.

I steal his red blazer… often.

If Joker can’t find it, it’s either in the wash or I’m wearing it.

As soon as he takes it off, I’ve got it cradled in my arms, holding it to my face to hide my smile. I wear it when he isn’t, I sleep in it when I miss him (even when he’s right there beside me I still miss him), and I often use it as a pillow.

“Are you sure you don’t love that blazer more than you love me?” // “No.” // Any pout he gives me is kissed away and he giggles against my lips because he got what he was after all along.

We can’t sleep without each other. Joker needs to know that he’s needed, and I need to know that my clown is there for me to keep me safe from the things which my mind tells me are in the dark.

Joker does get annoyed with me sometimes because we both know I’m scared of the dark and I have a vivid imagination, and those two things are difficult to handle on the best of days, but I also love horror films.

Slasher ones are my favourite but I also really enjoy the ones which are dark, gritty, the ones which are based more in the psychological than obvious jumpscares.

I know how Joker can get when I watch them, though, so I tend to watch them when he’s out of the apartment or when there’s nothing else to do.

He never stops me from watching them because I’m a grown ass woman, but he makes his disapproval known by by saying he won’t be comforting me that night when I get too scared to turn the lights off.

In the end, though, there isn’t much he can say because he has unhealthy coping mechanisms just as I do, so he wraps me in his arms and hides my face in his chest or in the crook of his neck. “Close your eyes so you can’t see it’s dark.”

“I love you” is said often between us. 

And never just once: “I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you - “ it can and will be said multiple times.

It makes the other person giggle and get teary eyed. We’re slightly obsessed with each other and we love the way we love each other.

There are other ways we say those three words, spoken too much yet never enough:

“You got what you deserved, Joker” // “I suppose I did.”

I wear my outfit sometimes and go out in it, and on rarer occasions (I have acne so I have to be careful) I even do my face like his.

When I really make to say ‘I love you’, I’ll do both. It never fails to make him cry.

The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra is our song, as is The Carpenters songs Close to You and Yesterday Once More. 

Every time those songs are on, Joker spins me into him and even though I have two left feet, he dances with me.

The slow, eerie dances he does are my favourite and I love watching him. He knows and he loves it. He always throws me a wink and it never fails to make me blush and emit such a high pitched noise that I feel compelled to pull my shirt collar up and over to cover my face entirely.

Joker always coos and plays peekaboo with me when I do this to coax me out of hiding.

Neither of us want children but we have two pure black rescue kitties whom we love dearly!

That’s Life is another favourite. I love that song and it never fails to make me smile, even when I don’t want to. I play it every day and Joker always dances with me. We prefer the instrumental version; it reminds us of the simpler times when he was still the unseen (not by me, by Gotham in general) Arthur Fleck.

Aaa, Fleck…

I proposed to him. Kinda.

Joker wanted marriage from day one but I was unsure; I despise the institution of modern marriage but one day I caught sight of a ring I liked the look of in a magazine and I took it over to Joker.

I didn’t say anything, I just held the magazine out at that page for him to take, barely able to speak was I through the depths of my emotions.

It took him ten minutes to stop laughing before he dipped a hand into his blazer and withdrew a small box. 

Neither of us said yes and neither of us said no. 

We just put the rings on the other and that was that.

The next day, I went and got it registered with a cackling Arthur in tow. 

I can be emotionally distant at times; if I’m feeling too much, I tend to withdraw into myself rather than upset Joker by burdening him with what I’m feeling. 

He hates it when I do that, though a lot of the time I’m not even aware I’m doing it, and it upsets him and then he withdraws from me.

When Joker starts to pull away from my kisses and stops accepting hugs, that’s usually my holy shit what the fuck, Erika? moment and then I do my best to apologise to him.

I’m always forgiven after it’s made clear that I hurt his feelings, and then we don’t let each other go for the rest of the night.

When I need a reminder of why I love Joker or when I just need to see him for all that he is, I watch his segment on the Murrat show (that’s not a typo - I know what I said.) and I’m sobbing in seconds.

*sigh* “Why do you do this to yourself, Erika?”

“I needed to - you were in so much pain and I - “

He pulls me to him and shushes me. I tuck my face into the warm crook of his neck and lavish him with kisses and I just hold him and hug him as hard as I can and I apologise again and again.

Joker doesn’t understand why I watch it sometimes and tbh neither do I but I do and he always comforts me even though I feel like I should be comforting him.

As I said earlier, I’m scared of the dark and I drink as much coffee as Joker smokes (I can easily reach 18 cups a day. Easy.), so night times are... interesting. 

It can take up to an hour for me to sleep. Not really because of the caffeine (I’m used to it by now and I feel calmer with it than I do without it) but because I just can’t get comfortable or because I’m convinced something just moved in the corner of the room.

Even with my nightlights, I’m still scared.

It annoys Joker when he’s really tired or trying to sleep and it’s not unlike Joker to grumble “lay the fuck still” and wrap his arms around me so I feel obligated to stay still for him.

Joker never holds me so tight that I can’t move, though. I have trauma relating to body autonomy so he makes sure that I know I can move if I want to.

I prefer to sleep either on my back so I can have my clown blanket or on my side so I can face Joker. I keep my phone by my bed so when I miss Joker or need to see him at 3 AM I’ve got pics and GIFs right there, scared am I that I’ll wake up and he’s just a dream and I’m alone again, so I appreciate seeing him when I wake up in the mornings.

Sleepy morning sex

He’s also at perfect liberty to start things when I’m still sleeping, too.

I gave him an all time free pass - that is how much I trust him. It was the biggest display of trust I could think of, and I’ve never gone back on it or regretted it.

I really just want Joker to know, to know, that he’s loved and cherished. I do my best to let him know that he can be his entire self with me, that I want him to, and he does the same for me.

Fair’s fair though so I’m at liberty to start things when he’s sleeping, though I rarely do because he sleeps so little as it is because insomnia, nightmares etc.

We steal each other’s clothes a lot of the time. 

I wear really baggy clothes (my shirts can pass as short dresses) so Joker fits into them easily.

Joker’s very needy and physically affectionate and clingy and even on the days when I don’t want to be touched (again, for trauma reasons), I still allow him to do with me as he pleases.

Not because I feel like I have to, but because I trust him and I know I’m safe with him. When I’m with Joker, I’m the safest woman in the world.

We only use each other’s names - Erika and Joker (Arthur for serious situations) - when attention is needed now or when it’s a deep situation which requires total candour.

Otherwise, for me it’s “my girl” (I melt every time), “my Erika”, “my Queen”, and then generics like darling, sweetheart, love, angel.

For Joker, it’s “my Joker” (he melts), “my King”, “my clown” and then generics like darling, angel, love, honey. 

We do anything for each other and we always do small gestures for each other; Joker makes me a cup of coffee and I slip a cigarette between his thin lips before I light it for him. He changes the batteries in my nightlights without saying anything and I hand scrub the blood out of his clothes while it’s still fresh.

Things like that tell us, even without words, that we want it to work.

When he comes home from whatever he does as Joker (I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell), I check him all over. Any bruises, scraps, cuts... 

The ‘rule’ is this:

As long as he comes back home to me without even a paper cut, then he can do what he wants as Joker, the reputation he didn’t want or ask for.

We do everything together and with each other and of course we get space from each other when it’s wanted or needed; a lot of the time we’re in the same room doing our own things. 

We argue, though I’m not sure what about - but we always make it up to one another. We don’t go to bed angry, either, and we both get upset during fights so tears are shed and wiped away, apologies whispered against trembling lips.

It’s not an easy relationship and there are probably things I haven’t even thought about lmao, but we work hard and the amount of love we have for each other is so strong and so deep it’s bigger than both of us. 

We choose to love each other every single day, no matter what, and that’s why we’re still together

Erileck met: 4/10/2019 // married: 26/3/2020. We skipped the engagement. We’re in love and we know it, so why wait?

[bitchbrisket]

First Lines Tag

Tagged by @slightlyintimidating

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

As all my mutuals have been tagged already, I’ll just tag a couple of people, @tara-stofse and @rapidashpatronus

I’m also going to cheat and give you a favourite line from each one, simply because the first line is rarely the best and why not be a big fat show off where your writing is concerned? Didn’t link because I am a lazy cow but my AO3 profile is at the top of my page.

1.       (The Worst Witch 2017) A friend like you – 'Get in loser, we're going shopping!'

Sometimes I come up with good titles and sometimes I desperately flail around and this was the best I could do. Most people should know what the opening line is a reference to and it was the first thing I thought of when the idea of this fic materialised.

  ·         'I know you think you're hot stuff, but Dimity can run rings around you. You have the acting skills of a potato' she icily informed a miffed Arabella.’

  2.       (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) An education - 'I confess, I fail to understand the point of most of them.'

Again, another crappy title but for some reason, no song lyric or poem came to me on the subject of policemen raiding a Chinese brothel in the 1920s and confiscating vibrators because they look like suspicious instruments. I did lift the first line from the script because that is partly what I based the fic on. 0/10 for originality there.

  ·         ‘The benefit of having so many deities, Lin reflected, was that there was always someone in, should you knock on the door of their shrines.’

  3.       (The Worst Witch 2017) Poker – ‘Miss Bat scuttled along to the staffroom after her date and walked in, only to halt in surprise.’

Good Lord, I’m really not selling it to you with these boring titles am I? I’ve done the strip poker storyline with the hairpins in another fandom and couldn’t think up a clever title for that either.

  ·         ‘Clothes were strewn everywhere but in front of Hecate, there was a small pile of hairpins and nothing else.’

  4.       (The Worst Witch 2017) Which witch is which? – ‘Wychwood forest was a mysterious place, full of wrackspurts and helipoaths and blibbering humdingers. Sometimes you'd even see a crumple horned snorcack galloping along.’

Yes, alright I borrowed something off the world of Harry Potter. A fic based off a post off of a popular post on Tumblr and title borrowed off Dianna Wynne Jones I think.

  ·         'Watch out for the blibbering humdingers!' she shouted vengefully after the troublesome tourists.’

  5.       (The Worst Witch 2017) They do it with mirrors - 'I've missed you.'

Very general, basic bitch kind of starter. Dial up the smut o’metre because witches are having the equivalent of webcam sex. Written for the Hackle Lemonade Challenge, prompt kink. Wasn’t one of my favourites to write but it does have one of my favourite paragraphs in a smutty fic. Beats the first line anyway.

  ·         ‘She groaned and panted as her climax finally overtook her, glad of the extra support from the solid oak furniture. None of this modern rubbish that couldn't withstand a good hard fuck. There was a time and a place for IKEA but this was not it.’

  6.       (The Worst Witch 2017) Every inch of you – ‘Ada loved it when Hecate lightly raked her nails down her back.’

Diving straight into the smut for this other Hackle Lemonade Challenge, prompt kink fic. Title entirely appropriate.

  ·         ‘While many people over the years could make it happen, it was a secret delight to know that nobody did it better than her.’

  7.       (The Worst Witch 2017) The hum of your desire – ‘Ada woke up to an empty bed.’

At least it’s promising. The story can go anywhere when you start off with an empty bed. The bed is irrelevant anyway. They end up on the sofa.

  ·         ‘Hecate Hardbroom was nothing but a meticulous over achiever.’

  8.       (The Worst Witch 2017) You’re the night sky, trying to make me see your stars – ‘Hecate had been afraid to touch.’

Throws you right into the scene and lets you know there’s going to be a bit of angst in there. I love the song I took the title from (night sky – Leonell Cassio & Julia Mihevc) and I waited for a fic idea to materialise so I could use it.

  ·         ‘Ada could feel her breathing, steady and true, vibrating through to her heart.’

  9.       (Ghosts) Hide & seek – ‘Giggling madly, she galloped up the stairs to seek out the best hiding place ever.’

With several of the ghosts with backstories we have yet to uncover, the possibilities are endless. Poor Kitty had to die young so I gave her a death loosely based on an English ghost story, using all the unsavoury incidents involving her sister. Title needs no explanation.

  ·         ‘And shimmering obliquely in the corner of the landing, was the answer. The wooden chest. The one from the latest sailing ship that had brought back all that sugar and tea and rum.’

  10.   (The Worst Witch 2017) When breathing sounds like your song – ‘She hadn't let herself enjoy it at first.’

Luckily the only way from there is forward. For the Hackle Lemonade Challenge 2021, prompt firsts. Not sure where I got the title from, it’s possible I melded a couple of song lyrics together for it.

  ·         ‘I always feel thirsty after a pleasurable experience' she said cheerfully.’

  11.   (Holby City) There is no goat that foolish – ‘Serena patted down her wide brimmed hat and set off for a walk.’

It’s an ok start to the fic. The title is terrible but honestly, its just hard to find references to goats in general.

  ·         ‘She only just realised that they were conversing in English, not French. The other woman had a London accent. Good. She could shout at her more expressively in English.’

  12.   (The Worst Witch 2017) Sugar mouse – ‘What is it?’

So many possibilities here. The title does give it away, but still.

  ·         ‘In her nightmares, her grandfather had chased her around with an eyeball on a fork.’

  13.   (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) Stitch up - ‘I’d like to see you operate my sewing machine, Hugh Collins.’

Another shameless ripping off from the script. But nothing else can sum up this fic so perfectly. Title self-explanatory.

  ·         ‘Were sewing machines like dogs? He wondered. Did they take on the personalities of their owners?’

    14.   (Pushing Daisies) Girls don’t want boys, girls want damn respect – ‘Her boy always had an eye for the ladies.’

What a ridiculously clunky title. But apparently I couldn’t think of anything better. The opening line is much better.

  ·         ‘Calista was reminded of the principal at school that Emerson had crushed on so hard that he'd broken every fire alarm in the school over the course of several months just to get her attention. Some things never changed.’

  15.   (Holby City) Tell us the tale of a goat – ‘Did I ever tell you about how Serena and I met?’

A solid opening there, full of potential. The title is a bit crap. No, I have no idea why or how Serena would be working on the Italian railway either.

  ·         ‘You dressed one up in a poncho and called it aunt Gertrude?’ Fleur asked eventually. She really couldn’t think of anything better to say.’

  16.   (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) In the gracious light – ‘Jack tried not to let their questioning stares get to him.’

Based partly on the MFMM books, I’m happy with the opening line, it sets the tone. The title comes from Shakespeare’s Sonnet VII. ‘Lo! in the orient when the gracious light.’ With that, it ties in Jack and Lin quite nicely.

  ·         ‘After all, grandmama had warned him enough about the distraction of white girls. She had said nothing about white boys.’

    17.   (Holby City) Not yet – ‘Bernie wouldn't describe herself as an avid reader these days.’

Title taken from a line in the book Wicked. Opening line is pretty generic. I basically wrote this fic because Elphaba reminds me of Bernie in some respects. Also, premonition, sorry about that.

  ·         ‘In her mind, it was Serena in that cell, stretching out her hand to Bernie and chiding her affectionately for her delay.’

    18.   (Ghosts) Filth – ‘The Captain paid no attention to Lady Button's shrewish tone two rooms away.’

Simple title, simple opening line. Very direct. It’s the ‘why didn’t the Captain and Lady Button bond over the hot gardener in Lady Chatterly’s Lover together’ fic.

  ·         ‘The Captain sighed. That husband of hers had a lot to answer for. Bastard. He couldn't have killed her by poison or anything, no, he had to push her out of the damn window.’

  19.   (Ghosts & Holby City crossover) Over the top we go – ‘He couldn't believe it.’

So many things one couldn’t believe, a pretty generic opening. The title is a WW1 reference so not the correct war for the Captain but I used it anyway. Bernie is Haver’s niece.

  ·         ‘The Captain looked pleased but there was an expression in his eyes that Alison thought hid a sob in his heart.’

    20.   (Holby City) Boobs – ‘Arthur Digby was having a terrible day.’

Title, utterly crap, I know you’ll agree. Opening line, sums it up really. I like it.

  ·         'Well, call me Da Vinci and I'll paint you like one of those French girls.'

Art wasn't Fleur's strong point.’

So what did I learn about my opening lines? It does reflect my writing style, snappy and concise. I rarely ramble for long. Are they thrilling opening lines? Not usually. Do they set the scene or the tone? Much of the time. They are certainly not the best ones I’ve ever written. Considering that I don’t love most of these last lot of opening lines, I’m going to go with which witch is which? It’s the best one of the bunch, I think. 

[fuckingthefictional]

Cross my heart- Part 15

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OFC, John Shelby (platonic) x OFC

Warnings: Talk of sexual assault, semi smut.

A/N: Enjoy a long ass chapter, that hasn’t been proofread and it probably crap!

Previous//Next

“What the fuck do you mean she was attacked?”

“John calm down.”

“No I will not fucking ‘calm down’!”

“John your shouting isn’t helping the situation at all.”

“But Pol-“

“Don’t ‘but Pol’ me John, that girl was attacked and nearly raped! Your shouting is not helping the situation one bloody bit.”

Eliza listened from her spot on the sofa, her body ached and her memories were still intense and raw from the previous night.

Her eyes felt heavy and she felt bleary. Eliza wanted nothing more than to sink into the cushions of the sofa and just disappear.

There was a great deal of pacing coming from the kitchen, which she assumed could only be John’s.

Eliza wished she could’ve told him in a normal way, like she did with all her troubles- over a glass of scotch. That he didn’t discover the events of the night before in such a horrible way.

Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest, her entire body felt as if it were in shackles. Like she had her hands tired- as if there was no escape from this dark backstreet

She could feel ever grope, every unwanted kiss, she could hear every single taint and harsh laughter.

She felt cold and exposed where her clothes had been forcibly removed and the fearful tremble in her body refused to go away.

It felt as if she was helpless, there was nothing she could do. Like she was watching herself be pushed around and assaulted in the most cruel ways from the outside.

And then he came, cigarette burning and the soft glow of the ashy embers as they were flicked off onto the mud caked floor.

The man who had a red right hand in his pocket and a peaky cap perched on his head and she could see the blades tucked away, still glinting occasionally in the soft glow of the nicotine filled stick.

At long last she felt her knees hit the floor, as she simultaneously heard begging and screams of pain. Her hands were stained in blood and the screams got louder and louder until they just...stopped.

“Liza?” A frantic voice was calling to her, she felt like she was being shaken, “Liza wake up!”

She woke with a start, shooting up and rocking back and forth. Eliza felt someone attempt to hold her, but after the previous night she attempted mercilessly to escape whoever was touching her. She thrashed and tried to break free, but they held on.

Eliza was sure she was crying now, her voice croaked and cracked as she attempted to cry out in some sort of attempt at being rescued.

A small part of Eliza’s mind knew she was safe, that nobody was trying to hurt her. In any other situation she would relax into the embrace and find comfort. But this- this was to much to handle.

“Let her go Johnny boy-“

“Tom what the fuck is going on?”

“I’ll explain in a minute- just go through to the kitchen, aye an’ I’ll sort this.”

“Yer out ‘yer mind if yer think I’m leaving her here with you.”

There was a small pause, before the sound of retreating footsteps were heard by Eliza.

“Liza, open yer eyes for me.”

She slowly cracked open an eyelid, almost afraid of what she might find. Her vision was blurred as she burst into floods of tears at the sight of Tommy kneeled besides her.

“I- I thought-“ Eliza tried to explain, but couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

“You are safe.” Tommy couldn’t express the words hard enough it seemed, his gaze pierced into Eliza. He continued on leaning closer to prove is point, “I will keep you safe, my family will make sure you’re safe- I never want ye’ to live in fear Liza.”

Eliza just nodded, tears soaking his shoulder as he gently combed through a few stray locks of her hair.

She could feel gentle lips brush her forehead, a huge contrast to the violating ones that she had been forced to receive the night before.

“I just need time.” Eliza tried to reassure herself, “the wound will heal with time.”

“An’ I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise you that much.”

“Just don’t go breaking my heart along the way.”

“As long as you don’t hurt mine either.”

//

Life was a struggle to get back to normal for Eliza, she went back to work a few days after the bruises had healed up.

Routine practically kept her sane the following weeks after the incident.

She’d wake up at six in the morning, fix Harry his breakfast and then meet Tommy outside the Garrison for seven. He would then walk her to the schoolhouse and wait with Eliza in her classroom until the children started to line up outside- she’d teach for the day and then be picked up by Tommy or John (and occasionally Arthur) where they’d walk back to watery lane and Eliza would stay until it nine helping with homework and bedtime routines. After a long day she’d walk with the Peaky men back to the Garrison where she’d go on shift.

By the end of the day Eliza usually felt exhausted enough to close her eyes without fearing the makeshift movie full of her past memories.

Routine worked.

Until Tommy showed up at Eliza’s window on a Sunny Sunday. Sunday’s were the day that Eliza allowed her routine to include a lie in, so she could relax and recover before Monday came around.

But of course Tommy kept tapping on the glass panes of her window.

Eliza wanted to do nothing but turn over and stuff her head into her pillows- but she knew Tommy was incessant and would stop until she payed him attention.

So she rolled out of bed and unlatched the window, pushing it open slightly before making her way back to her bed and sliding under the warm covers.

“Liza?”

She grumbled in response.

“Ive got a surprise for you.”

“Is the surprise letting me sleep for another hour?” Eliza grumbled groggily, “because that would be appreciated.”

She could practically see his smirk in her mind, there was a small chuckle from behind and then Eliza felt the covers be ripped away from her body.

“Tommy!” She shot up, to see him stood above her with a smile on his face. Eliza liked seeing him happy.

“Get up, we’re goin’ out.”

Eliza sighed, “Fine.”

//

“Where are we going?”

They had been driving for what felt like hours, Tommy had driven them out of the city- and Eliza could admit that it felt good to get fresh air and not be inhaling the heavy black smoke.

Eliza felt free, like she was in the rolling fields that her childhood town in Ireland held.

Away from Birmingham she felt as if she could leave behind her problems, and focus on some of the finer details in life.

Like the dewy grass, or the way the wind brushed against her skin, or how Tommy’s hands would occasionally tap against the steering wheel, or how his eyes would light up more every time they passed a horse in a field.

Eventually Tommy parked at their supposed final destination, it wasn’t much- a field and paddock which held a few horses, and a stable with what appeared to be a riders hut attached to it.

“Where are we?” Eliza was lost in her own befuddlement.

“My stables.” He replied striking up a cigarette.

“But I thought you had a stable in Small Heath?”

“If you mean Uncle Charlie’s boat yard, then yes- but technically it’s not mine.” Tommy opened his side of the car door, before jogging round and opening Eliza’s side too, “Besides, I prefer it when the horses have a bit of fresh air- Small Heath don’t do their lungs any good.”

Eliza smiled at that comment. She’d gathered that Tommy had a soft spot for animals, especially horses.

“Let me rephrase my original question then.” Eliza giggled, “Why are we ‘ere?”

The young man stopped in his tracks, “To ride of course.” He began to walk besides her, linking there arms together, “Yer told me that you’d ride when you were in Ireland, growing up- that yer missed it.”

Her heart swelled at the fact that Tommy had remembered that conversation. Eliza found herself struggling to form proper sentences, so instead she just nodded in awe.

“Now come on pretty girl, the longer we talk ‘ere- the less ridin’ time we’ll have.”

Eliza raises a brow and smirked, she leaned in as their noses brushed slightly. She could’ve sworn she heard Tommy’s breath stop.

With a final breath she steadied herself, “Race you!” She screamed sprinting away as quickly as her skirts allowed her to.

//

Tommy looked dumbfounded for a second before he also took off running, chasing after her trying to reach the fence first.

It made him smile, seeing how childish and free Eliza could act.

Tommy was a damn good businessman- but if he knew one thing, it was that he was willing to follow Eliza to the end of the world.

When he was around Eliza, Grace was forgotten in his mind.

When Eliza was around, he felt a genuine happiness that he hadn’t felt since before the war.

“Hurry up old man!” Eliza called playfully from the top of the terrain, Tommy shook his head a laugh escaping his lips.

“I am not an old man, you cheeky little-“ he cut himself off, “I’m not even thirty yet!”

“Old.” She retorted back still laughing heartily.

“Liza you’re 3 years younger than me- you’re ‘old’ too.” Tommy bargained.

“Are you calling me old Mr Shelby?” Eliza teased

“Polly raised me to never call a lady old.” Tommy replied, it was true- he remembered when he called his teacher old and Polly came marching into the school and smacked him right around the head. It was clear that he hadn’t done it again.

He looked across to see Eliza gazing wistfully at the horses in the paddock.

“I’ve got the perfect horse for you to ride.”

Eliza turned to him, her interest clearly peaked, “A dappled grey mare.”

Tommy could see her eyes scan across the field, trying to find the horse he’d just mentioned. When she did, she gasped and began to walk over to the gate.

He followed behind her, watching as Eliza’s steps became more springy as she got more excited. Eliza’s laughter consumed the air as she reached her hand out to pat the horses nose.

Tommy hovered behind her, his breath lingered near her neck.

“You need a hand getting up?”

Eliza just nodded as he helped lift her body off of the floor, his calloused hands grazed her waist.

“Thanks.”

“No problem pretty girl.”

//

“Thank you for today Tommy- I’m thankful, really.”

Tommy stepped forward, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ears. They had ridden for a few hours and had just finished putting the horses back into the stables.

They were both mucky and had thin layers of sweat coating their skin.

“No issue at all Liza.”

“There must be a way I can repay you.” She was stood in front of him now, even closer than before.

“Well,” Tommy licked his lips, brushing against the younger woman’s face, “there is one thing you could do.”

Their gaze lingered on each other, before the tension became too much and they met in a hot searing kiss.

Tommy walked them back towards the support beams as he continued to kiss Eliza with as much passion as he could muster.

Eliza was tugging and grasping at his hair as their lips moved together in tandem.

“jump.” Tommy breathed as he braced her body against his as her hips clashed up against his groin.

It caused them both to moan with pleasure, as Eliza rolled her hips against his again and Tommy planted hot kisses across her chest.

They began to shed clothes as they navigated through the stables and to the pile of hay in the corner.

Curses and pants could be heard throughout the area.

However before it progressed Tommy had stopped, “Liza...are you sure you want this?” He felt like he was pushing her.

But Eliza just caressed the sides of his face, and sweetly pecked his lips with her own, “I need to feel like I’m back in control- there’s nobody else who could take care of me in this way, except for you Tommy.” She pressed their lips together again, “So for the love of God- fuck me already!”

TAGLIST:

@peachy-aisha @marvelschriss @eternallyvenus @captivatedbycillianmurphy @annabethgranger123 @shadow-of-wonder

[singing-till-the-end]

(Not So) Secret Letters

word count: 2010

pairing: scorpius malfoy x rose weasley (harry potter)

A soon-to-be sixth year Scorpius Malfoy had his fair share of troubles. He had a healthy stack of homework he had yet to do (and school was starting in two weeks), the summer was too hot for him to bear, and the Potters and Weasleys were on vacation. Especially the latter. He had been so bored the entire summer without Albus to accompany him. Of course, there was his father, but he was so busy at the Ministry that it made Scorpius wonder how Harry, Ron, and Hermione had managed to catch a two-month break.

So yeah, he missed Albus and their stupid little adventures. No one else. Just Albus.

The blonde boy rubbed his hands over his face and groaned. Who was he kidding? He missed his best friend, of course, but there was also Rose Granger-Weasley. A beautiful, charming, and feisty Rose Granger-Weasley.

She was...perfect. She had a mesmerizing smile that rivaled the sun in its brightness. Her laugh was like music to his ears. It was adorable when she would bite her lower lip when thinking. Even her scowls made her appear more attractive.

And there he goes again, staring off into space thinking about her. The boy sighed. He liked her too much for his own good. It drove him crazy that he couldn’t see her until September 1st, and the first was still so long away.

Still so long away regarding Rose, yes, but not so long away considering his pile of homework, the dutiful student part of him thought.

Shut up, conscience, he retorted.

Oh god. Did he really start arguing with himself inside his head? Scorpius shook his head. What was wrong with him? (He knew perfectly well what was wrong; he was lovesick. But knowing that didn’t mean that he had to admit it.)

“Ugh. School’s starting in two weeks and I’ve barely touched my homework. Dad’s gonna tell me off again,” muttered Scorpius as he lifelessly flopped back down onto his bed.

At that exact moment, a noise from his window decided to interrupt his quite depressing monologue. The blonde lifted his head to the right slightly, before hurriedly heading towards his window. It his haste he almost tripped over something on the floor, but he didn’t bat an eye.

It’s Albus’s owl!

He eagerly opened the window, and in came Arthur, his best friend’s owl. It carried an envelope, and after tearing it apart, Scorpius discovered a postcard. He smiled fondly. It was sweet of Albus to send something to him.

Wait.

If Albus could send stuff to him, then...couldn’t he do the same?

Scorpius almost face palmed. It was so obvious! He could’ve just sent letters to Albus via owl from the start.

As Arthur was about to take off, Scorpius hurriedly closed the window. The owl looked over, and Scorpius shot it an apologetic smile. From the postcard, it seemed like they were in Scotland for their vacation. Of course, it was definitely closer than many other locations in the world, but flying back and forth probably took a toll on the poor animal. He made a mental note to give it a treat later.

Excited, Scorpius sat down at his desk and pulled out some parchment, a quill, and ink. Sometimes he preferred to write with the Muggle pen, but his handwriting looked a lot prettier with a quill and ink.

The letter to Albus was quick and easy; just a summary of his boring summer and how much he wished he was with Albus. They were best friends; he didn’t need to put everything into words for them to understand each other.

Now, the one for Rose. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind in regards to writing to the red-head. It was only a matter of how. The blonde boy wasn’t blind; he had seen how annoyed Rose was whenever he tried to talk to her at school (although he’s sure that she’s slowly warming up to him with time). Chances were, no matter how harsh it sounded, the girl was probably going to throw the letter away when she read the “from Scorpius” on the envelope. So, he decided he was just going to have to write it anonymously.

Dear Rose,

Hello.

I hope you are having a wonderful summer. I happened to hear that you were on vacation in Scotland. I’ve been there before, years ago. It was quite a lovely place overall.

You probably aren’t interested, but for me, summer this year has been quite boring. The sun shines all day, yet it seems a little dimmer than usual, for I don’t see you. The sun is no match compared to your smile. When I take a walk outside, the vibrant flowers remind me of your hair. The wind reminds me of that day last year at the Quidditch finals. It was pouring, the rainwater being accompanied by the sounds of thunder and the streaks of lightning. You almost fell off of your broom because of the gusts of wind, and I was so relieved when you managed to stay on. It was quite an exhilarating match, and Gryffindor definitely deserved the win. I think I’ve never seen you happier when your team received the trophy. It was a beautiful sight.

When I try to work on my homework, the bookish smell reminds me of you. My thoughts are filled with you to the point that I can’t focus on the homework. It’s no wonder you smell like parchment and ink; I feel like your nose is always in a book, except when you’re playing Quidditch. (I’m not saying it’s bad; I personally love the smell!)

All in all, I can’t wait for the school year to start. Merely a look at you is enough to make my day.

Sincerely,

Your Secret Admirer

Before his thoughts could convince him otherwise, Scorpius enclosed both of his letters into their individual envelopes, simply writing a “To Albus Potter” and “To Rose Granger-Weasley” on each. After attaching it to Arthur, the owl flew away, leaving behind an anticipating Scorpius Malfoy who was wondering if this was such a good idea after all.

☆彡

Rose awoke to the sound of knocking at her hotel room door. Glancing down at her watch, she was even more annoyed to discover that it was five a.m. Sure, she woke up at ungodly hours like this often when at Hogwarts, but this was summer vacation and she was having none of it.

“Go away, I’m trying to sleep,” she cried meekly, pulling the covers over her head in a fruitless attempt to block out the noise.

“Rose, it’s me,” said a voice she knew all too well. “There’s mail for you.”

“You’d think that it would make more sense to give me this at breakfast, but no, gotta give me this at five a.m. in the morning,” muttered Rose, walking over to the door. She was tempted to just ignore him and go back to sleep, but the thought of something arriving from one of her friends was more than enough to convince her to get up. Plus, it was Albus. She always found it hard to say no to the green-eyed boy.

Opening the door, Rose found a yawning Albus on the other side of it. He smiled down at her before handing her an envelope.

“Here,” he said.

“You know you could have picked a better time, right?”

He merely laughed. “I was afraid I might forget it later.”

“Yeah, right.” Albus was incredibly thoughtful and attentive, and the girl knew it. He wouldn’t forget to give her something. She guessed he just wanted her to have it as soon as possible. “Thanks,” she added.

“It’s nothing. See you later.”

Rose closed the door and settled back onto her bed. After examining the envelope closer, the only thing written on it was “To Rose Granger-Weasley.” It didn’t even say who it was from.

Weird.

With the first few sentences, Rose was confused and slightly concerned. Did she have to deal with another stalker on top of that Malfoy? But after she was finished, she could conclude that this was from Scorpius himself.

That idiot, she smiled to herself with a slight smile. He just doesn’t know when to quit, does he? And this whole anonymous thing is so lame. It’s not really hard to figure who this “secret admirer” person is. Plus, I recognize his handwriting.

It was stupid, but it was sweet.

The red-head shook her head. Sweet?! Since when did I think Scorpius Malfoy, of all people, was sweet?! My brain needs to stop working.

So, Scorpius being (not) sweet aside, Rose decides she might as well humor him by writing back.

Dear My Apparent Secret Admirer,

I would just like to express my gratitude that you seem to think of me quite excessively. No words could possibly express how flattered I am by your delightful compliments. However, as prefect, I would like to remind you to finish all of the homework that you have been assigned over the break. I think it would be quite a sight to behold to see you receive detention before even a single week of school has passed just because you failed to complete a reasonable amount of assignments in the span of over two-and-a-half months, most of which I’m sure you have wasted by doing nothing productive.

I am pleased to read of your recognition for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, although I have to admit that last match wasn’t exactly the most “exhilarating” by far. The current Slytherin team seems to lack a bit of talent and skill in regards to their Chasers, and their Keeper, the only good player, might I add, had received a fairly troublesome injury a week prior to the match, and subsequently had to be replaced by a far inferior player.

I myself am also looking forward to going back to Hogwarts. I believe that if you put as much effort as you do thinking of me into your schoolwork, you will no doubt become one of the top students of your year. Just some friendly advice.

Yours Truly,

Rose Granger-Weasley

Satisfied with her letter, Rose gave it to her owl to deliver it. All she had to do now was wait. She was looking forward to Scorpius’s reply.

A smile blossomed onto her face as the girl looked out the window, her mind filled with a certain blonde boy with gray eyes.

☆彡

Scorpius glanced up from an essay that he could care less about at the now familiar pecking sound.

To hell with homework. Rose is more important.

The boy eagerly opened the window and received the letter. Even before reading its contents, a smile made its way onto his face.

The two teenagers had been communicating for a week at this point. Aside from getting put off by the first letter, the experience had been pleasant for Scorpius. He had managed to learn a lot more about Rose (and managed to fall even more in love, if that was possible), and he found himself looking forward to these letters everyday. And Rose seemed to buy the fact that he was some random person who liked her. Made the process a lot easier. He sometimes wondered what her reaction would be if she discovered that it was him she was writing to all along.

For some odd reason, Scorpius doesn’t think it’ll end well, and decides to never tell Rose about this.

It’ll be his own special memory, and even if she never knows, it’s enough for him.

☆彡

(Turns out luck isn’t by his side, for Rose broke the news to him that she knew all along that it was him she was writing to a week into school, and made it her life mission to tease him about it every chance she got. Scorpius swore he forgot how it felt like to not be blushing that school year. The only positive was that they were dating by April.)

☆彡

This is my first story on tumblr, hope it wasn’t too bad hahaha. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

You’re a WHAT

Kanene’s Notes:

I’m weak for carzy scenarios  and glitter, so BOOOM!! Why don’t get these two things together??? :D)/ This fic marks the end of my break, I will be (trying to) going back to my old projects and probably won’t be writing for some weeks kjnhgfvghjkjhg. Wish me luck! <33

This wasn’t suppose to take so much to be written but I lost my PC and life got in the way :v   Buuuut! I manage to finish it and I already count this as a victory! xP

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Remy and Roman. They’re friendos yay :3. Oh, and this is pretty crazy. Context: The morning after Black Friday when you’re grumpy and wanting to kick the society in the face. A LOT of swearing, Patton does not approve.  

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* Something around 2.900 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Try and have fun with new hobbies, be safe, talk with the one that you love, drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

                             [~*~]

Roman thought himself as a really lucky human being. Unbelievable lucky.

 It wasn't due to the apartment where he currently lived - Too much dull for his personal taste and space, getting even smaller from the day he admitted a messy, sassy and with sleep problems roommate, since Roman just started his musical career and couldn't afford an own house yet. - or the fact that was finally able to pursue his dream after years and years of just picturing, painting this moment on his future, only to find out his fantastic breathtaking and incredible goals weren’t nearly close of the cold reality, at least for now (Who would know that, after umpteenth days of hard studying and training he would need years and years of experience in order to even START wondering in get out of his partial-time job on that Electronic Store) or any other reason someone would be able to consider himself a receptacle of pure, brute luck, enlightened by the spotlights of the good, pleasant destiny...

 ... Or at least the most pleasant it could be in the horrible and exhaustive middle of the night after a whole day filled with his attempts to survive and treat respectfully the unmerciful, dirty jungle that humanity was at Black Friday. Something around fifteen  hours working with massive hordes of unscrupulous zombies starved for a sale and able to even kill and die (more likely the first option) to get what they want and with souls (if they still got one) free of any slight sight of education, patience and morals to be inserted in a society which, as it seemed, was equally rotten as them. View point only proved as Roman was obligated to be working after his shift to "clean all the mess" - more like hide the bodies of exhausted warriors after such bloody battle. – the store because those sons of a...

 "... Bitch, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!" The poor, frustrated employed shouted to nowhere specific, his face turning towards the sky, seeking in some way to show his all his hate to the cinematography - because this was too much coincidence to NOT be part of a movie or some random fanfic on the black hole that was internet - rain falling at full force leading the weather to became even more freezing as soaked them both with its cool, thick drops.

Anyway, what he was daydreaming about?

"Roman." Oh, yeah, the reason why he viewed himself as a truly lucky person. "My gurl, if you try to impersonate a fucking, dramatic, bitch crow in my ear even again, I swear in the name of my life juice bean that I'm going to KILL you with my bare hands and these sunglasses."

 At least his best friend since, honestly, diapers, who coincidentally was his roommate and even more coincidentally, his coworker was just screwed as Roman himself. Which automatically made the duo less screwed, however equally pissed off, something that neither of them discovered if that was a good or bad thing, yet.

 "Fuck you, Remy" Roman whispered between an tired yawn, too much tired to even think about some nickname or to put real heat in his words as he got instinctively closer to the other, the one called taking off his jacket and lazily throwing it over their heads, doing his best to cover they both with the small available black leathered fabric, the act intertwined with grumpy grumbling and motions which would probably slap Roman's face if he wasn't careful. "I'm the one who buys your coffee."

 "Having my incredible, unique personality in your life should be motivation enough for you to buy me the entire Starbucks Company, be glad I'm weak to your cute face and am going easy on ya."

 " 'Cute'? Excuse me, I'm the most handsome, hottest and fabulous man you will ever met in your lowly life, mortal."

 Remy snorted at this "Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe, but if it's going to be like that your ego soon will have to pay his part at the rent."

 "Well, this 'ego' here was the only thing between your highness and jail after stopping you from committing all those murders today."

 "Bold of you to assume I wouldn't use my contacts to hide the evidences." Their tune were already completely sleepy, bodies instinctively leaning onto each other as the words stumbled, mixed and almost lost themselves in the soundly wind as slipped from their lips. Roman just laughed.

 "Well, if by ‘contacts’ mean 'Virgil' good luck getting him out of his bed on his free day. You would became the fucking new King Arthur." Roman rubbed his eyes, trying to physically force his eyelashes to not close, a new yawn finding its way to his mouth. He didn't even know about what they were talking anymore.

 "I roll the dice to cast Badass Nerd Bitch."

 “Logan??”

 “He likes to study nature stuff, especially at night, I’m sure he already knows some good spots to hide bodies. Glasses.”

 “Glasses?”

 “Glasses.”

 “OMG, the anime character with glasses.” Roman stopped, his mouth wide open as if all the secrets of the universe had been revealed to him.

 “Exactly.” Remy extended each syllable, grinning smugly.

 “I’ve never-“

“THIS IS A ROBERY!!”

 The sentence, which appeared to came out from nowhere, cut the air in a harsh, sharp tune, breaking the barriers and tying them up in the same place in a frozen position and wide eyes staring astonished the hooded form and their unreadable features under the bad illumination of the light poles helped by the increased storm. The wind trespassed them, stirring their clothes and making the muscles shake both of the alone employees in the middle of a dark, empty street at the dawn, even if the dangerously shiny knife directed towards their direction still in a hatred silence. 

 “My.” Roman knew he probably should be afraid, the freezing feeling running across his veins and frightening his brain and actions as infected his words in an unspeakable terror impossible to ignore nor escape. “fucking.” However, the only thing that slipped through his next was the purest, deepest, truest... “ASS.” Indignation.

 Roman thought about a lot of things. He thought about running away, grabbing Remy’s arm and sprinting across the street, about scream in the top of his lungs the waterfall of swearing already racing half way to his throat and even about kicking the knife out of the other’s hands and then kicking him - with a couple of cool moves he saw in some actions films - together with their frecking audacity to try to rob him of all the people in the world. Roman, who asked himself if he would have enough money to eat in the next week with a concerning frequency, who wondered if this is the life he will have until the end of his existence, if he will ever be able to accomplish his dreams.

 His gaze changed to Remy, who was paralyzed, trembling between the poor light of the street and the massive rain. Roman swallowed. Everything was in his hands.

 For a piece of Roman felt the strange urge to spill to the figure before him the story of his life, all his tries, all his battles, his everyday fights to make his dreams real. Blow by blow. Day by day. A life destined to go after everything he wished to himself, everything he wanted to life, to experience, to savor, to do everything in his hands to ignore and one day maybe, hopefully forget all the ghosts - these ones always accompanied by those emotionless, sharp whispers - asking, doubting nonstop if he ever would be able to do all of this, if he was doing the rights thing, if it was really worth all of it.

 However, before the first word even slipped of Roman’s tongue or his mind came fully back to Earth, Remy was already positioning himself strategically between the robber and his friend, the currently only one with the leather jacket falling on his shoulders. However, Remy didn’t seem nearly soaked as he should be, and for a heartbeat, the same one which Remy moved his hands to his jeans’ pocket, his fingers touching and firmly holding something there, Roman could swear that the unexpectedly shiver running across his spine wasn’t due the cold wind.

 Nor the sentence hurled in the clouds.

 “You know what?? Fuck it.”

 And then he unsheathed his magic wand.

 Roman loved with the entirety of his heart all kind of magic, he could easily spend an entire afternoon (which he already had, by the way) listing his favorites movies, musicals and stories with that theme. That also could be easily said by the thousands and thousands of worlds, universes and lifes he invented – in and out of his head - about the subject trough his childhood and handful of teenage years, random ideas and inspirations appearing and dancing in his mind until nowadays. If that only wasn’t enough to convince someone then the umpteenth memories of mornings and afternoons bathed in the smell of books, rocked by the calm silene of the public library as he turned one more page, his back lightly aching by the bad position assumed behind the shelters, in a place he strategically found and claimed as his own Bridge to Terabithia, enjoying every moment as if nothing else mattered. Perhaps you wouldn’t even need to swim in such deep, ancient waters to find out his love, since at least fifty percent of his day was dedicated to shout, hummer or murmur Disney songs.

 However, as rays of pure energy  - shiny and kind of glittery one - involved and swirled from Remy’s, who now was floating a few centimeters above the ground, wand in stripes that got lighter and lighter, begging to spin faster around the aforementioned, creating a spere of a power stunning and big enough to stop the rain in the corner.

 The silence resulting from the lack of the storm didn’t had the opportunity to fill the moment, being obligated to give its space to a soft, intense melody whispered in their ears. The notes standing some more moments in the air, the beating following the changes in the shadowed figure inside the spere. Hesitations taking over the loud, quick heartbeats when the song finally stopped.

 The power’s spere finally exploded, the impact leading to an unbelief and intensive force push both human meters away.

 “Get. Out.”  Remy’s tune still the same, his form – Now adorned by a gleaming crop top, his fluttering skirt over shorts floating in synchrony with the veils which surrounded his clothes and wrapping his arms, the ending spreading in the air as a bunch of angry powered and fancy snakes. - even with the new vestments full of glitter (this probably would be a hell to get off, later) still the same, his gaze, powerful – a new meaning pouring from this word – strong, still the same. But yet…

 Yet his wide eyed, heart hammering in his chest friend since he could remember found himself struggling to connect the same Remy who he had known – if he could still say that? -  all his life with the same being who gleamed dangerously before him.

 The magic wand danced in a quick flick and a trash can came of what seemed nowhere to hit the wobbled and absolutely terrified robber, who fell with a soft thumph in the ground, unconscious.

 “-man, Roman!!! Don’t just stay standing there like a tree, help me here, gurl!” Suddenly the called snapped from his own sea of thoughts, submerging and astonished blinking in Remy’s direction. The rain started to fell on them again, and when their eyes met, when Roman saw the same guy who spent afternoons climbing trees and pretending they were knights and dragons attacking or saving the world, when he recalled the silent sleepovers where they just sat near of each other enjoying the mutual company, the grumpy mornings in their apartment, the comfort hugs, the looks full of words, the smiles filled with meaning, the friendship stuffed with so many, many memories... 

 Nostalgia. The feeling that everything was changed albeit something… something important always stayed. Roman felt, truly felt it and fixed his glare into that brilliant – quite literally - glare adorned with a ‘I’m about to punch your cocky face if you keep fucking narrating every freaking second of your life, ya bitch’ he realized... 

 It was Remy.

 He took a deep breath, moving closer and gradually relaxing as the aforementioned focused in trying to lift the guy, swearing more frequently than raindrops fell from the sky.

 “Remy?”

 “Yeah?”

 “First crush.”

 The other stopped, frowning confused. Roman didn’t quiver, feeling he deserved some sort of answer. At least about this. “What?”

 “My first crush. Who?”

 “Kovu.” Remy maybe was a bit cold hearted, maybe he wasn’t the best with human interactions or knew exactly what Roman wanted with that… but he knew Roman enough to realize this was important. Essentially when the said seemed to relax, his form untensing itself and being allowed to get closer of the magic being.

 “Okay. Okay, okay…” Roman took a deep breath, grounding himself. Their gaze met, his next words coming a little calmer. “Okay.”

 “Please don’t make me sing that serenate you made for him. I’m gonna fucking quit.”

 “Oh, shut up!! Our first love is something special, mister I-Can’t-Choose-Between-The-Beast-And-The-Beauty.”

 Remy decided to ignore the words, slightly lowing his sunglasses with his special Judgmental ‘Bold of you to assume I have enough shame to be mocked’ Look. Roman just flipped in his direction, taking advantage that the other’s hands were occupied.

 It was still Remy, with a whole more of style and glitter – Why are there so much glitter here?? - but it was just Remy. Like just any other day.

 Before he even realized, Roman was already at his friend’s - and as it seems a magical being - side, helping him to carry the robber’s body to somewhere dry so he wouldn’t die of hypothermia.

 “Why don’t you- Ouch!! My feet, dammit!” His breaths came out as puffs, the effort leading to his already exhausted muscles only protest even more and very much probably curse him later with sore movements for the audacity to transport anything heavier than a pen. “Why don’t you use your... Wizard magic or something to carry him??”

 “Oh. My. Gosh. Roman, you are sooo intelligent, why aren’t you in Harvard? Ow! Ow! Ow!!” Remy’s sarcasm was cut when the other kicked, or did his best to with their actual position, him in protest.  “Homophobic.” He exhaled a mix of irritation and a snort, receiving a playful punch in his arm by their inside joke.  “I’m your Fairy Godmother, brainless. Unless it was you laid in this stupid, cold ground I can’t use my magic anymore... Except if this is someone of your family but I doubt-”

 “Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!!! YOU ARE MY FAIRY GODM-”

 “No, no way, nope, we are NOT having this conversation right now.” Remy, the Fairy Godmother let go of the unconscious body in a way that probably will make the guy wake up sore, perhaps with a concussion even, directing his index finger in Roman’s direction in a deep, determined stare full of darkness and things that Roman could swear would make Remy be expelled from the group of Friendly Fairy GodmotherS  or whatever... thing he was inserted. “Let me tell you what we are doing right now: We are going to home, change our clothes then I’m getting coffee and you will get sleep so I don’t have to face nor care about the freak consequences of my damn actions.”

 ...

 “That...” Roman stop, as if was considering his next words. Remy’s face just scrunched in a bigger, firmer frown. “That would be hella scary if you didn’t look like someone who just stole a store of glitter and got attacked by the gay, glitterly, shiny fairies who protected the place.”

 “Go fuck yourself. I’m locking you outside when we get there.”

 “Noo, please don’t! My evil stepmother didn’t let me go to the prince castle and now I need help! Crying emoji, crying emoji.” Roman mocked, imitating sad sobs and sniffles as quick his pace to follow the other, who flipped him.

 “I’m this far from knock you out with my magical wand and then you will see who is the evil stepmother.” His wand gleamed in warning, the red color getting mixed and trembled by the fast movements of his veils, one of them getting dangerously next to Roman’s face, who cleverly got silent for some heartbeats, the sound of the rain slowly calming their heartbeats and rocking them, the tiredness gaining the space which, piece by piece, was being unhanded by their adrenaline.

 They arrived home, both still quiet, feeling free as a relieved sign left their lips. Remy threw his soaked jacket in some dark corner, the bed being the only thing which was allowed to take over all his thoughts and will. 

 An awed gasp echoed behind him and he immediately regretted his move.

 “YOU HAVE WINGS????”

 Before his eyelashes closed, the shiny of the wand disappearing gradually as an ungodly amount of sleepiness gained complete control over his body, relaxing each one of his fibers and as a warm, magic good feeling fills every single cell in his being, Roman wondered if ‘Fuck it’ was the name of Remy’s spell.