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deathon1leg · 2 years

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the flowers mike gives el at the airport represent mike’s love for will - byler analysis

skip to “the bouquet’s relationship to will’s painting” section near the end to see why i believe the bouquet and painting are parallels. i think this is worth a read even if you don’t want to read this whole post!

mike may have tried his best to act normal with his fake airport persona, but uh oh! his silly little handpicked bouquet exposed him!!

disclaimer that this is all my interpretation and i have absolutely no education in film, but i have a lot of basis for my theory and it’s not exactly far-fetched.

1) let’s start right when mike gets to the airport:

so, mike gets there in his goofy outfit, doesn’t exactly look thrilled (but to be fair he’s at an airport) but smiles and waves when el calls to him. this is the first time we see the bouquet, and it’s in the hand mike waves with—he’s not even really waving his hand, he’s waving the bouquet. the flowers are already taking up the forefront of the interaction, it’s like they’re saying “hi” instead of mike (which.. he doesn’t even say hi. he just kinda says “uh” when he sees her, which is fitting for the confusion and conflicting of this scene)

mike doesn’t seem to be in a hurry until el starts running up to him, then he sort of jogs to meet her in the middle and they kiss. it’s worth mentioning that the visual framing of their kiss is impersonal/not intimate. it would make sense for this shot to be at least a bit closer to them, especially considering how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other, but that’s not the case. instead they make it impersonal and show people rushing around in the background to showcase the lack of privacy. someone even walks in front of the camera, which i go more into depth about in the tangent below.

skippable tangent time—this is besides the main point but i NEED to point out the person in the red shirt and hat. in the scene, you almost see them before mike, walking in front of him kinda like they’re shielding him—then you see them AGAIN right as mike and el kiss, walking in front of the camera and obscuring m*leven for a second. anyway,, i think this person represents mike, but mostly the false version of mike that we see at the airport. (they even lowkey resemble him—they’ve white, have long dark hair, and are tall and skinny). they “shield” him and obscure m*leven the way fake/airport mike does. airport mike is completely focused on el, which is why the person is shrouded in red, el’s color—but remember they’re mostly fake. he wants to put up the front of being that focused on el. there’s a little bit of blue on the person, aka mike’s color, but not a lot. but THIS is the part that gets me.. their sleeve is yellow, which is will’s color. i’m sure you’re familiar with the term “wearing your heart on your sleeve”? ... despite mike’s efforts a lil bit of his love for will gets through.

here is where it starts to get more obvious.

the very first thing mike says to el is “careful, careful, careful,”. i think he’s talking to himself here—not literally, but it shows what he’s telling himself in his mind—to be careful. to act normal. to not do anything to expose his true feelings. in the literal sense he’s talking about the flowers, but that can mean more too... the true meaning of the flowers is a delicate subject, and she should be careful with it.

mike says “you’re squishing your present!” because the flowers are between them. as in, physically between their bodies, but this is stranger things so it’s safe to assume everything has another meaning, in which this one is that the flowers are coming between their relationship—and ofc, the flowers mean something else too. (note: you can’t see mike’s face at all when he says “you’re squishing your present”. you can see his glasses and hat but deliberately not his face. hmm)

when mike gives it to her he sort of pops the bouquet up and out from between their bodies, and el takes a step back and looks at it with surprise—like it had come out of nowhere and gotten between them.

there’s also the interpretation that mike is the “gift” that el’s squishing. she’s hugging him when he says that, so he is being squished, and it could also mean that he feels “squished” by her emotionally—suffocated by their relationship. but that begs the question why mike would be her “gift”...

mike says “it’s a gift, I uh—I handpicked those for you”. in the sense that mike is a “gift”, he’s a carefully curated, handpicked one, because he’s a fake version of himself, aka airport mike (remember argyle’s “it’s a shitty knock-off”). by now he knows he doesn’t love el like she wants him to, and is probably at least somewhat aware of his feelings for will, and he can’t un-know these things so he has to pretend to be what people think he is (or what he thinks he’s meant to be). his handpicked gift for el pretending to be what he thinks el wants him to be. trying, even if it’s untruthful, to be the boyfriend she wants. (more on these quotes in the next section)

skippable tangent time—i also want to note that mike takes his sunglasses off right before he says “i handpicked those...” and right after that the camera switches to el (upper left screencap below) and will is right behind her out of focus, which is the first time we get any sort of footage of will from mike’s (sorta) perspective. i don’t think that shot is really meant to mike’s POV, but i think it’s interesting that he chose to un-shield his eyes right before they show us will.

2) mike talks more about the flowers:

here, we can see a blurry will directly behind el, which i think could be meant to show how will is “behind” or the true motivations of the things mike does for el—mike would rather be doing those things for will, and might even fantasize about that being the case. it could also be to show that will feels like he’s in el’s “shadow” when it comes to his relationship to mike—he may feel like mike values el over him, and that he won’t ever get to have the romantic relationship he wants with him. either way, he’s meant to be paralleled with el, i mean cmon, they’re even both wearing plaid blue shirts. (jonathan is also in frame next to will, probably to show that he knows about will’s feelings and how this must be affecting him).

mike’s previous sentence “i handpicked those for you—“ completes in this first shot, with “—in hawkins.” as we see el smiling and looking at him, he says “i know you like yellow, but now i’m kind of realizing that—“ then the camera switches to the little card mike put in the flowers, which el is holding, and in that frame mike he says “it’s too much yellow. i know you also—”. the card from the flowers reads “to el. from mike.” (we all know the “from, mike” stuff so i’m not gonna recap that)

side note: mike is rambling and using words like “kinda” several times. he’s nervous... but why? is it because he knows he’s being fake? probably.

el is happy with her flowers and that mike remembered she likes yellow, but gets visibly upset when she reads the card and sees the “from mike”, which happens to be at the exact moment that mike says “it’s too much yellow”, which is will’s color.

there is too much of will’s influence in the flowers—he may have picked them for el, but he was thinking about will the whole time, and wishes will were the one he could do that romantic act for. there is also too much of a will’s influence in the fact that mike can’t tell el he loves her—because he loves will in that way instead. there’s too much of will’s influence in this whole interaction, in general. mike’s thinking about his feelings for will so much to the point that he ends up avoiding interaction with him or even looking at him for more than a moment. he can’t mentally separate will from his relationship with el.

after the “it’s too much yellow” mike says “i know you also like purple, so i got some as well—“ and the camera switches to el’s disappointed face at the “—like purple,”. then it switches to mike’s face and he finishes with “—so i kinda did like a 70/30...”. purple represents m*leven, because mike’s color is blue and el’s is red, which together make purple (click here to see my analysis on red as el’s color)

with the way he brings it up and the “70/30” part (70% being yellow, 30% purple), it seems like mike picked the purple flowers as an afterthought, like he’d picked all the yellow ones instinctively then remember they were for el and consciously picked purple ones. imo the purple ones looks more blue (mike) than purple, and if the show wanted them to be more purple they could’ve, even if by color-correcting it during editing.

i think the “70/30” does well as a ratio for where mike’s mind was at—mostly thinking about will, but also about he and el’s relationship and keeping up its appearances. the purple flowers are just another part of fake mike, but the yellow ones are where mike’s fakeness (fakery?) failed and his true feelings slipped out. also, 7 is byler’s number, which could have to do with the 70.

some people may have the urge to yell at me that it’s not that deep, and yellow and purple are just el’s favorite colors, so what?

and to that i say, first of all, it’s TV—not only that, it’s stranger things. everything means something. but i also come bearing more proof.

this is almost certainly where, or near where, mike picked those flowers. it’s in hawkins—which mike mentioned even though he didn’t really need to. there’s yellow and purple/blue flowers the same size and colors as the ones mike gifted her... and there’s also red flowers.

here’s the thing, the writers could’ve made el’s favorite colors anything they wanted, but they specifically chose colors used to represent the characters. they could’ve made one of el’s favorite colors red instead of yellow, which would represent herself. this field is literally full of red flowers, and yet there are none in the bouquet.

things brings me all the way back to the “i handpicked those for you, in hawkins” that mike said. not only did mike have the option to pick red flowers (which he could’ve, because based on her wardrobe el probably likes red too), but there were about an equal amount of all three colors in the field. he could’ve picked more purple. he could’ve not picked any yellow at all.

these are all conscious decisions made by people working on the production of this show. nothing is an accident!

also noting that the flowers in the field are dying in the scene above, but only the ones under el. death doesn’t reach the ones beneath mike and will before the scene ends—i think it’s showing that el is done with her relationship with mike and ready to move on. the “flowers”, in the way that she sees them (as a symbol of mike not actually loving her), are dying.

3) will comes over to say hi to mike:

can i just say... that first shot... UGH THE CINNAMON TOGRAPHY.. LISTEN. the shot before that is the one of mike saying the 70/30 thing and then... ok hold on i’ll just add another pic okay.. we’re gonna backtrack for a second.

(ignore the triangle for a moment, we’ll get there)

in the first shot of the pic above will is still behind el and his face is covered, and he’s perfectly positioned as if he’s el’s shadow—his brown hair behind el’s brown hair, his plaid blue shirt behind el’s plaid blue shirt. (and we already talked about the purple thing so..)

in the second shot mike says “—so i kinda did like a 70/30—“ then the camera switches back to el, this time with will right in between them instead of obscured behind her, and mike’s sentence finishes with “split kinda thing...”

this “split” is very important. when i was collecting these screencaps i was like oh... OH. firstly, the camera splits from mike to el and will right as he says it. this could indicate m*leven’s impending breakup bc of the way it switches between them, showing them opposite of each other. now will is no longer el’s shadow, he’s split from el and now his own person, and he’s in between them—just like the flowers earlier (which are still between them, because el’s holding the bouquet in front of herself). i already said how the 70% yellow = will, and the 30% purple/blue = m*leven/mike, and that comes into play here with the word “split” being said while we’re given this love triangle imagery of all three of them in frame—mike’s mind is split between will and el, and will’s in the lead with his 70%.

ok, finally on to the shitty triangle i drew in the last shot, which is part of the aforementioned love triangle imagery (obv will and el aren’t love interests but they’re both mike’s love interests). once will’s out of the background and in shot, he’s framed to look much closer to mike than el is, as you can see by my triangle their heads look like they’re leaning on each other—while mike and el are framed to look far apart. these distances aren’t in the literal sense, but in the visuals we’re shown—mike and el are literally very close to each other (theoretically like their relationship, because they’re dating) but figuratively (as shown in the framing) far apart—they’re dishonest with each other, not truly in love, etc. the same logic goes for mike and will, they’re literally far apart because will is several feet away (theoretically like their relationship, because they’ve barely been in contact) but figuratively very close (like the framing), because they have a more intimate relationship than m*leven and are in love with each other.

now for the rest of the scene. el sort of cuts mike off while he says “split kinda thing” (another meaning, because she split his sentence) probably to get him to stop rambling, and she says “they’re perfect, thank you” then starts walking away, splitting from the conversation and the camera. when she says this line, the angle switches to the one we get when will comes up and the rejected hug happens—el’s no longer what we’re supposed to pay attention to, mike and will are. also, before this the camera went back and forth between el and mike, but when will first comes up we get a shot of both of them together, but from behind mike’s back.

another note on the colors—the red coca cola sign shines brightly behind el for most of that interaction, but when she walks away and will comes over we hardly see it anymore, and now there’s blue light behind will and yellow light behind/next to mike.

el doesn’t think the flowers are perfect though.. of course she likes them, but her mood changed when she read the card, which is also when we hear “it’s too much yellow”. i don’t think she knows about mike and will’s feelings for each other yet, but her lying about the flowers being perfect even though she’s upset about mike not saying he loves her indicates how she hides her true feelings from mike. btw i also think it’s interesting that el says “they’re perfect” right before she leaves and we first see mike and will interact—almost like she’s calling mike and will perfect.

after that, mike says a soft “oh” when he sees will, as if he hadn’t noticed him yet—which is bullshit, but he’s been forcing himself to ignore will’s presence because otherwise his feelings would become too prominent in his mind, and he wouldn’t be able to pretend as much. mike does a small ‘sup, bro?’ nod at will (ugh) then says “oh! hey!” (again, like he’s only just realized he’s there) then “how ya doin’?” in a forcibly casual way while will goes in for a hug.

jonathan takes up a whole third of the shot and is looking at mike and will—because he knows. i’m not sure if he knows about mike’s feelings for will, but he definitely knows about will’s feelings for mike, and understands that will must be having complex emotions about the whole thing. i think this and all the other moments in s4 we get of jonathan looking at them is meant to foreshadow the coded coming out scene between will and jonathan in vol 2—and i think it could indicate jonathan taking a more active approach in fixing byler’s relationship/getting them together in s5.

now, i think this shot is particularly interesting because we get more “hidden” mike imagery, aka him being obscured—like we get with the sunglasses, visor, and his face being covered while el hugs him—which is related to mike’s fake/airport persona. “hidden” mike imagery is an even more obvious way of showing us he’s hiding something, like his true feeling, queerness, etc. for about five seconds between when el says “they’re perfect,” and will’s huh gets rejected, we don’t see mike’s face at all. well, we see a little of his profile in shadow before el walks away, but after that he’s turned around. will’s face is somewhat hidden during that too, similarly to when he was behind el, but this time being obscured in-and-out by mike’s body when he goes in for a hug.

we don’t get to see mike’s initial reaction to seeing will at all—we don’t get to see his expression, because it might reveal too much. we see the rejected hug happen from behind mike’s back like a clueless onlooker. based on the soft “oh,” we hear from him, mike might’ve been a little flustered by will, which could mean him rejecting the hug was partly a knee-jerk reaction—a lot of people would probably be startled to see their crush go in for hug, especially after seeing them for the first time in a while and they look so different.

(once again ignore the triangle for a moment)

skippable tangent—you can’t see it in this image but when mike rejects the hug he playfully “punches” will on the shoulder a few times with the arm he would otherwise be hugging him with, knocking his fist into him in a ‘bro’ way. this could possibly be to represent how will was affected by the rejection, like mike had metaphorically punched him. it could also be showing the way mike forces himself to ignore his feelings—he physically and metaphorically has to turn hugs into punches when it comes to will, because he can’t reveal himself.

when we do see mike’s face his eyes are only on will for a split second while he awkwardly smiles before he looks away, and we see will doing the same thing—awkwardly smiling and looking away. mike can’t even manage looking at will, because it’s too much for him. mike quickly turns to jonathan who says “hey, mike”, and mike replies “hey! how ya’ doin’?” which is exactly what he said to will—he’s purposely treating will the same as jonathan to exert the platonicness (platonism?) of their relationship. he’s aware that he and will’s relationship is closer than most friendships between males, so he’s lowering it to the status of just acquaintances to make up for that fact. it’s also supposed to be in juxtaposition to how he greeted el—with a kiss and a hug. mike is displaying to himself the difference between romantic and platonic relationships. he’s trying to convince himself of something.

the triangle i drew in the bottom right photo is for the same reason as the one before—love triangle imagery. mike is in the foreground, his back to us once again so we don’t know what he’s feeling, except this time el is framed much closer to him than will. if you were to look at this scene from directly behind mike, he would probably be equal distance from both will and el, but they framed it this way for a reason—mike had just given all his attention to el and rejected will, and is about to continue doing the same for the rest of the day, therefore will is framed farther from him now and el closer (remember, actors have marks on the ground that tell them where to stand in each scene).

will and el also seem to be facing towards each other—at odds, opposites, similar to what i mentioned about will being el’s shadow and them “splitting”. this further illustrates the way mike’s mind is split between them. will and el are often portrayed as each other’s parallels, which isn’t a coincidence. even here they’re both smiling and they both hold something in their hands in the same position—one holding a gift from mike, and the other holding a gift for mike. (more about the bouquet and painting being parallels later in the post!)

jonathan is in that shot just like the other one, but instead of to the side of mike and will he’s in between them. as i said before, he at the very least knows about will’s feelings. this time he’s between instead of to the side because he’s inserted himself into the conversation—he’s the one who says hi to mike first, probably to spare will from the awkwardness and protect him from getting his feelings hurt even more. he’s getting in between them for will’s sake because he’s a good brother.

let’s talk about the flowers again. in that same bottom right shot that i drew a triangle on, el can be seen holding the bouquet, and as i said she and mike are framed to be close together. even still as they’re framed closely, the flowers are in between them. it’s shot so that they almost look pressed right against each other except for the flowers that separate them.

one last thing i find interesting before we move on to the next section—even thought mike’s wearing a blue/purpleish shirt under his yellow button up, the button up is mostly what we see because of the shots from behind him, from shoulders up, and over the shoulder shots from his pov. the yellow can’t help but make itself prominent.

4) they start leaving the airport

i’m skipping past a little bit of the airport scene to get to this section, because it’s the next time the flowers play an important part.

El describes rink o mania to mike even though she’s hardly been there (only for joyce’s work parties). she says “it’s the most fun place in lenora, they have skating and... games.” she pauses before saying “games” because she probably doesn’t remember much about it—also, she looks at mike when she says it, which could be hinting at mike “playing games” with their relationship. while she talks she waves the bouquet around at her side, right in front of will, almost as if she’s taunting him with it. (you may have to zoom in on the top left photo to see the bouquet because the captions cover it)

i should point out what these flowers mean to will, personally, aka what he views them as representing. we know that they truly represent mike’s love for will, but to will they mean that mike cares more about el than he does about him—he gave her a gift on will’s own birthday, a thoughtful handpicked gift at that, and gave him nothing, not even a hug. to will they also represent what he wants and believes he’ll never have—to be with mike romantically, and for mike to love him in the way that he (seemingly) loves el. so, while she doesn’t mean to do it, shaking the bouquet around in front of will is like rubbing those things in his face, and he seems to be looking at it.

it’s possible that will’s perspective coincides with what el’s saying, or rather the way she’s pretending to know more about something than she does. will believes his love is unrequited (as represented by the flowers) even though he doesn’t know for sure, and there’s even evidence to the contrary that he’s probably noticed (like their intimate relationship and the way mike looks at him—will making the painting for mike at all suggests he might suspect reciprocation). so will, for the sake of preserving mike and el’s relationship, is pretending he knows more about mike’s true feelings than he does. he’s convincing himself he knows for certain that his love is unrequited.

next, the camera switches to get closer to mike and he says “okay, that sounds awesome, are your friends gonna meet us there?”. in this whole scene where they’re walking out, mike smiles when he looks at el or el looks at him, but stops smiling when she can’t see him. he’s not as thrilled as he’s pretending to be as fake/airport mike. we can especially see his expression change here when he says “are your friends gonna meet us there?”, which could have to do with him being worried about keeping up his persona in front of new people.

it switches to will, who says “‘friends’? wha—what friends?” because he knows el hasn’t made any in cali, however el lied to mike in her letters saying she had. el hits will in the chest with the bouquet for saying that, and she says “you know, stacy and angela!” (mike’s expression is blank again here and he’s looking down, part of his face getting hidden by his visor) the way will says “friends? wha—what friends?” reminds me of the way mike later tells him “we’re friends. we’re friends”, with how they repeat their words and how they both have to do with dishonesty.

so, here will’s questioning a friendship with “what friends?” like how he questioned his and mike’s friendship at rink o mania with “and us?”—i think will’s “what friends?” represents the way he feels like his and mike’s relationship is weakening... AND him questioning if he and mike are really just friends, or if they’re more—which is how mike later interprets will’s “and us?”. el hitting him in the chest with the flowers OVER HIS HEART is like a response to his “what friends?”, and the response can be either a lie or a truth, depending on how you look at it.

the way will sees the flowers, which is as a symbol of mike not loving him back, is the “lie” response, just like how el lies to him with her real answer. basically: will says “what friends?”, smack, he’s hit by the flowers aka the belief of that mike doesn’t love him, and told “yes, friends. just friends.” but this is a lie just like el’s “you know, stacy and angela!”, because will and mike aren’t just friends, and stacy and angela aren’t el’s friends at all.

what the flowers truly represent to the audience, which is that mike is in love with will, is the “truth” response—will doesn’t know this but we do. so in reality the scene is: will says “what friends?”, smack, he’s hit by the flowers aka the fact that mike is in love with him, which tells us (but not him) “no, not friends, more than that.”

okay, on to the last part of this scene

(ignore the lines in the bottom right pic for a moment. you know the drill. no they’re not behind bars)

will says “angela?” because obviously angela’s her bully not her friend. el ignores him and says to mike, “you’ll meet them, i promise, just not today”. since this is byler post i’ve talked about how mike is being fake, but not as much about how el is being fake too—neither of them are their true selves in the airport scene, they’re both putting on a persona. “you’ll meet them, just not today” could be a hint about that, because even thought they’re here today we haven’t met them, because that’s not really who they are. in this case that means they’re also hinting at the truth coming out (“you’ll meet them”)—which happens for el, because mike finds out she’s been lying. we didn’t get a truth from mike yet though, unless you count him admitting to will that meeting el was dumb luck/she doesn’t need him anymore.

el says “i want today... to be about me and you”. once again can i just say about that shot... UGH THE CINNAMON TOGRAPHY. look at the way it’s framed—we have el saying the day’s gonna be only about her and mike, yet in between and to both sides of them are jonathan, argyle, and will. this is similar to the shot from earlier where they kiss but the camera is a bit far and there’s people all around them—by most logic it should be intimate, but it isn’t visually shown that way. this line can also be tied with what i said about the previous one, in that “you’ll meet them soon, i promise, just not today” = you’ll meet their real selves soon, and “i want today to be about you and me” = today they’ll be their fake selves.

in the last shot mike kisses el on the head, but i’m gonna focus on the framing of this one too. many people have talked about how will is in the background or sidelines of almost every m*leven scene in s4, and this is a good example of it. the lines i drew are to show how mike, el, and will are all in the middle of the screen and each take up an equal amount of the shot—another instance that should be intimate (kiss on the head) but isn’t shown that way. will is looking at them, and we’re meant to feel for him and root for him to have what he wants (which is mike). if this were meant to be a cute m*leven moment they wouldn’t put so much emphasis on will’s pining.

also in the last shot, el is holding the flowers in between her and mike like before, right in the center of their bodies. she didn’t have to hold it there, she could’ve held it more at her side and that might’ve even been more comfortable, but they had her hold it there. it’s even more noticeable because the bouquet’s colors are visually prominent against both of their clothes which draws your eyes to it, and it’s almost in the very center of the whole shot.

a few seconds after mike kisses el on the head, will bends/crushes his rolled up canvas in his hands because of the way mike ignored him in favor of el. in the next section i’ll talk about how the bouquet is a parallel to will’s painting, and in the way that the bouquet represents mike’s love for will, the painting represents will’s love for mike—so in a way, will crushing the painting shows that he feels like his love was rejected by mike, just like how mike rejected his hug.

one more thing about the colors in this scene of them walking out: most of the shot is very cool-toned and somewhat muted (and remember they correct colors in editing) with a lot of blues in the clothing and background, yet there’s one other color that sticks out a lot, especially in the bottom two shots from the pic above—yellow. the yellow of mike’s over shirt is super bright among everything else. in fact it seems brightest when he turns to look at el while she says “i want today to be about me and you” and when he kisses her on the head. these are things he wants to be doing with will.

that’s all for analyzing scene-by-scene, now for more interpretations i have about the flowers.

5) the bouquet’s relationship to will’s painting

the bouquet and will’s painting are parallels to each other that are meant to give us insight on mike and will’s relationship, how they communicate, and serve as a comparison between byler and m*leven. even though the flowers are much less significant to the plot than the painting, their parallel to it is important.

the first and one of the most obvious parallels is that they’re both handmade/handpicked gifts that were brought to the airport to be given to someone there. mike brought the flowers and gave them to el, and will brought the painting with the intention of giving it to mike but ended up changing his mind (but gave it to him at a later date).

as i established before, the bouquet symbolizes different things for everyone. to mike (though i’m not sure if he’s consciously aware of this) they symbolize giving el the “gift” of him pretending to be what he thinks she wants him to be, aka being his fake/airport self, because now he’s at least sort of aware of his feelings for will and lack of romantic love for el. to el the bouquet symbolizes mike not being able to tell her he loves her, and therefore him possibly not loving her at all. to will it symbolizes mike caring more about el than him, and that mike will never love him romantically. BUT these are the characters’ personal interpretations. none of those are the true symbolism of the bouquet, which is actually that mike is in love with will.

in that same fashion, will’s painting symbolizes different things for everyone, except in this case everyone’s interpretation is going to change in s5 when they find out the truth (and has already changed a little for some of them). at first mike probably thinks the painting is for a girl because of what el said in her letter, but later (assuming he knows it’s the same painting) he probably thinks it symbolizes how much el cares for/needs him, thanks to will’s coded confession in the van. to el the painting symbolizes will having a crush on girl, which he’s never had before. to will it symbolizes his own love for mike and mike being “the heart”. (but it might change for him after the confession to somewhat symbolize m*leven and him using his own feelings to benefit m*leven’s relationship). it’s harder to tell what they’re thinking in this case because it’s more complicated. BUT, the true symbolism of the painting is actually will’s original interpretation, which is that will is in love mike.

so, the flowers represent mike being in love with will, and the painting represents will being in love with mike. will is fully aware of his love for mike, hence the painting being a gift for mike where he painted a heart over him + his coded confession. mike, however, is only partly aware of his love for will, hence the flowers being a gift for el who’s his current gf, but his love for will slipping through with all of the yellow flowers.

their love for each other ends up getting misdirected/misattributed in both cases, though, for reasons that affect the plot. mike gives the flowers to el, misdirecting his love to el instead of will, prolonging m*leven’s failing relationship and pushing the reality of byler to the side. will gives the painting to mike but says the idea was el’s and claims his confession is el’s real feelings, misattributing his love to el instead of mike, also prolonging m*leven’s relationship and pushing the reality of byler to the side.

the common denominator there is el, who unfortunately ended up getting all caught up in byler’s shenanigans by no fault of her own. because of this i think it’s very possible that el will be the instigator to them getting together, whether on purpose or not. the mostly likely way of her initiating a byler confession/realization is probably by mike bringing up the painting and her knowing nothing about it.

no matter how it happens, the truth(s) about the painting is gonna come out in s5, which will likely lead to the byler confession/kiss. since the bouquet isn’t really a plot device the way the painting is, i doubt it’ll come back into play for s5—its purpose is mostly as a metaphor and parallel. it’s also just a clever way to hint at mike reciprocating will’s love before the show can be more obvious about it, because they had to keep straightbaiting in the meantime.

conclusion(ish)

as i said at the beginning, this is all just my own interpretation. it’s fine if you think any of this is a reach or just disagree altogether, because this is just an analysis/theory post. if anyone has any thoughts to add in the replies or reblogs go ahead!! i’d love to know what you all think. i hope i’ve provided enough examples and explained them well enough to show why i think the bouquet represents mike’s love for will. i really hope i did, because this is a long ass post.

also like i said, i doubt the flowers will come back in any meaningful way in s5 because their role isn’t that important to the plot—BUT they’re important subtextually and really help our case for byler endgame. if the flowers DO come back for any reason though, that would be really exciting to see!

thank you so much if you read this entire thing, or even just skimmed it! this took me several days to write out and articulate my thoughts properly. i hope you enjoyed reading it and that it made you notice something you missed before :) originally this post was gonna be like, a few sentences, maybe a paragraph long? with just one or two pictures... but as i kept writing i kept realizing more things and.. now we have this essay.

in conclusion, the bouquet represents mike being in love with will, it’s a parallel to will’s painting (which represents will being in love with mike), and as always, byler is endgame 💙💛

#this took me so long #i hope you all find it interesting #lmk what you think!!#byler #byler analysis #byler meta #byler theory #byler proof #byler evidence #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers

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guzsdaily · 10 months

Text

Slow last day

Day 26 - Dec 1st, 12.023

So today was the last day of my "return to work", and it wasn't the most productive of them, to be honest with you. I didn't start the day following my routine and used some time to configure my network ad blocker and what some new videos in the morning, I don't have really a reason, maybe the climate being just too hot and melting my energy, and also this week's project not going so well as I hoped, but they are just excuses really.

However... I was able to complete most of the tasks of this week! And finished a working prototype that I like! It is kinda surprising how much work you can do if you know... just do it.

I'm feeling satisfied and proud now, and even knowing that I didn't complete the project itself this week, I can work on it again right where I left after next week. Likewise, I need to organize the next month's projects and tasks, which I probably will focus more on the tools and things that I need to do to find a job. There are things like resume, portfolio, challenges, tools and concept that I still need to do and/or learn, so having a project for it to list them would be good. Even more, knowing that the year is ending, I need to take care and don't lose focus with all events that happens during this period. Things like my girlfriend's birthday, Christmas and 31st of December will probably affect how I can focus on work, but are good tests on the system that I'm trying. Also, something that I noticed is the time I spend with my girlfriend, which of course decreased, but I noticed that I'm not stopping to work or doing thing to be with her even when my normal working hours end, so it is something that I also need to take care of.

Nonetheless, it was a good week and a good learning experience to improve as the weeks passes, and I adapt and change to, hopefully, someone better. Because again, I'm just someone who's trying to improve.

---

Also, shout out to @sophia-codes again, she's being someone great to work with and just tank in general about tech. And she nailed perfectly the front-end of the application to the style that I wanted, I'm really thankful that she accepted my invite to work in this project, hope she also liked it and hopefully helped her on her journey on learning web development. Hope we can work again in other projects!

---

Today's artists & creative things

Song: Abrasive - by Ratatat I normally work listening to Daft Punk and "disco songs" that are recommended alongside them, I don't know why, I kinda just associated this type of song with my coding work and because of the somewhat lack of lyrics, it doesn't distract me. But this song, for some reason it popped out of nowhere in the recommendations, and every time I listen to it, I start to dance in the chair. Why? First, it pretty much just electric guitars, which already scales the likeness factor for me. But second, it is such a good song to listen to. It doesn't have lyrics, or any things that make it somewhat stand out of what I already listen to. However, it is just pure upbeat, I listed to it and just feel happy and feel a sense of gratefulness for being alive, and the official music video reflects it so perfectly. The music video is just people feeling joy, dancing, showing talent, life, energy. Perfect song to listen to, even more to remember yourself to be happy just for the sake of being happy and living y'know?

---

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

#daily journal

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wasted-my-time · 1 year

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A Friend From the Other Side

Part two: Presentations

Warning: One little swear word in English and a slightly bigger one in French.

-------------------------------------------------------

My eyes flutter open as I start to remember my weird dream: Steve Clark's ghost needed my help to take a physical form and he walked out of my mirror... My brain has strange ideas.

-I was starting to worry about how much time it would take for you to wake up. You scared me a lot, you know. I hear a voice on my left.

-Tabarnak! C'est toi qui a peur!? I scream as I jump out of my bed, English now out of my reach because of the surprise.

Steve is sitting by the bed on the chair from the desk, legs crossed and looking slightly amused by my fear.

-What did you just say? He chuckles, his smile growing bigger across his face.

-It was French, and Québécois slang. You could translate it to... To "Fuck! You're the one to be scared?!". I answer unsure of what the hell of a conversation this is.

-Sorry about that, but I had to draw your attention. He chuckled. So, what's your name?

-Antoine, but my nickname is Billy.

-Why? He asked, puzzled by the absurdity of it.

-My uncle, who is also my boss, started calling me like that because it was miles away from my real name and now everyone calls me like that in my town.

-Yesterday, you said you were here for a student exchange, how long will you stay?

-Until mid-December. But enough about me! You, how come you're like that?

-Well, it's like in the stories, sometimes when someone dies in a tormented state of mind they... Stay.

-Was it long, all that time?

Am I asking too much?

-It passes fast... But what year are we?

-2022, we're in late August.

-Good Lord! I thought it was something like 2005, at most!

-And what happened exactly, with the mirror and everything?

-I'm not sure. All I know about that kinda' stuff is what I heard in movies or stories. He deadpans.

-What? They don't sign you up to Ghosts 101 when you die?

-If only... But some things simply feel like they're going to work...

-Antoine, who are you talking to? I hear Mrs Rogers voice through the door.

Out of panic, Steve disappears into thin air and I see the chair being transported back to the desk. I desperate search for some excuse and grab my cellphone, just to make it look like something normal.

-Can I come in?

-Of course, I was calling my mother on Messenger, I was speaking English to, you know, maintain the habit.

-Could I talk to her? It would be nice to know her a bit.

-... She just hung up, she had to go, you know...

-Oh alright, do you want to eat lunch with us?

-Sure, I'll be there in no time. Thank you!

She turns around and closes the door as she leaves the room. Steve reappears besides the left closet, letting out a long sigh of relief.

-Do think she can see you?

-No idea.

-Let's find out. Just disappear and wait to be with them to show yourself.

-No... How would you react if some guy just popped up out of nowhere in your kitchen?!

-Well there aren't sixty way to figure it out, and if you do it really fast maybe they won't even think something actually happened.

-Okay, but you do the explaining if I get caught.

-Sounds like a fair deal to me. I smile.

I get out of the room, still in my pajamas, and although I can't see him, I'm pretty sure Steve is following me.

-Do you need to walk on floors and stuff like that, like us? I whisper to him.

-No. An eerie voice answers me. But I'd rather stay with you.

Oh, that's kind of sweet, should I tell him?

Nah...

-Well thanks!

Everyone is down in the kitchen, we couldn't have picked a better (or worse) time to try this.

-Good morning young man. Mr. Rogers greets me with a amused smile.

-This is rather early in Québec.

-I hope you don't mind quiche for breakfast. Madeline comments

Right at this moment, Steve pops up, to everyone's indifference, and we just stare awkwardly at each other. He then leaves only to start flashing like a Christmas light, unsuccessfully attempting to get their attention.

-Antoine, Antoine? If you really don't want to eat that, we have cereals, you know. She snaps me out of the focus I maintained not to burst in laughters.

-No, it's fine, I was just wondering what was "omelette" in English, but it's the same isn't it?

-Yes it is, little daydreamer. Nathalie chuckles.

-Good appetite, see you later. I hear Steve's voice in my head.

Thank you. I think back at him.

-------------------------------------------------------

Sorry it took so long, that part wasn't in the original text from school. Next part coming up God knows when...

#steve clark fan fiction #Steve Clark #A friend from the other side

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cru5h-cascades · 4 months

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Presenting: Tenta Rot! The idol group I was hinting at making a few days ago! Flower (she/her) (17 y/o) (left) and Lauv (he/they) (18 y/o) (right) are a brother-sister duo (Flower was adopted into Lauv's family) who make pop rock and occasionally synth pop music. Flower is in charge of synths and drums while Lauv plays the guitar.

I decided to base these two off of Brandon Flowers from the Killers (and the aesthetic of the Killers in general) (really present in Flower's design) and Gerald Way from MCR (not sure if it's that present in Lauv's design but I tried) (also I kinda used aspects of beta Pearl's design for Lauv's design).

Flower is a cuttling (specifically a reaper cuttlefish-type cuttling) & Lauv is an octoling (specifically a gloomy octopus-type octoling) (I headcanon gloomy octopus-type octolings' limbs fade into a dark version of their ink color from the forearm/leg down, so that's why Lauv's arms are like that) (fun fact: the swirls where Lauv's skin color changes move around and their speed changes depending on how he feels)

Background info:

Lauv and his fam moved to Inkopolis when he was around 8 years old and one day while their family was having a picnic at a local park, he found Flower, homeless and without parents. Lauv tried talking to Flower, and eventually the two became friends after several visits to the park (where Flower would typically stay). And finally one day, Lauv asked Flower if she wanted to stay with his family, to which Flower agreed to and then Lauv tried to convince his parents to let Flower stay. Soon enough, Flower got adopted and continued to live with Lauv, happy to finally have a home.

One day, while practicing his guitar for class, Lauv found out about Deep Cut and thought "geez these guys are annoying...". After that, the idea of starting a band hit him and asked Flower if she wanted to be in a band with them, to which Flower naturally agreed to. After learning how to use a music making program on her own, Flower and Lauv then started Tenta Rot and gained some popularity over time, eventually starting a web series and becoming idols in their own right, doing preformances in the same park they met at every splatfest.

Personalities:

Flower - she's a bit of a pushover, kinda shy, and is overly nice, which leads to people not really taking her seriously. however, that doesn't mean she isn't capable of being mean or annoying. if someone pushes her buttons enough she will come at them with a brutal insult out of nowhere and leave them stunned. also she's super playful and likes to mess around with Lauv, even when they're live on their web show.

Lauv - he's moody and likes to act all pretentious and stuff, but deep down they're just a real softie. Lauv tries to keep this facade of the edgy teen, but sometimes it slips, especially when Flower tries to provoke them, but he doesn't get mad about it, at least that much. Lauv knows that Flower is trying to mess with him and that she doesn't take things too far.

#splatoon #splatoon idols #fanmade splatbands #tenta rot #the killers #mrc #my chemical romance #tried to something similar to the coreography from the mr brightside music video for their pose #also i did this sketch in school #i might make some digital art of them sometime soon idk #notebook sketch #sketches #paper and pencil

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rin-and-jade · 11 months

Note

I'll like to stay on Anon, as of now, as that way I am free from consequences. Anyways, Do you have any other inconsistencies in personality? I would say that I really do constantly change my personality. It's kinda weird, as I have one singular line of consciousness throughout the day, but in that day I am constantly changing how I act and present. You can currently see it right now, as when I wrote to you earlier in the day I wrote way more eccentrically and emotionally, while as of now I write more professionally and medically. It honestly feels fake to me, but I make no conscious effort to do this... as far as I know... Are there gaps on memory that can't be explained and still happen randomly? There's not really "gaps" in memory, but I do struggle with it. As I mention before, I experience a single line of consciousness, and don't really have areas where I was, I guess, blacked out or something. However, I do seriously struggle with memory. I say alot that I do not have memory and I live in a constant present, and I really do think this is the best way to describe how I feel. I struggle with my perception of where I am in time, I don't really know what I did yesterday, or for a large chunk of today, a lot of times people tell me about things I don't remember, and I have absolutely no idea what I ever did for most of my life. Any thoughts or feelings or urges that pops up even if it feels foreign, or something you don't recognize where it came from? I would say like at least 30-40% of my thoughts, feelings, or urges are like this. Just irrational, out of nowhere, but not really like intrusive thoughts or feelings or urges. There's not really much else to say, but I would note that like 70-80% of my actions do not feel like they're my own. Is there any other personas present excluding this one? How many can you guess if it's a yes. I don't fully know what you mean by personas. If you mean identities... well... maybe... I can't really directly talk to her, but I did completely lose my sense of who I was once and I directly trace who I felt like to a, well, like a part or a side of me, or something like that. There's not really any good words to describe what those things are in my brain. However, I can kinda feel that there is at least 3 different parts who wants, see, and feel different things in me. It's more like a battle in my brain over what I should do. One is prone to anger, and is quite cynical. They don't trust the world and has a grim view of it. One is softer, and a whole lot more feminine than the rest, they've always seemed to be good at actually being able to address and acknowledge issues I have. She's more hopeful, and tends to trusts other stuff more. The last is just a pure jokester I or something I think. They don't really have any different world views or wants, they just tell me to say jokes 24/7. It really sounds like I'm describing alters, but truthfully, I do just don't know what these are. For all I know, they could just be different sides of me showing at different times, and there's actually no separation If you have inner monologue, do you find yourself talking actual conversations, as if, like a real person responding to you? And could elaborate, add opinions, and etc. It is possible if I'm conflicted. It's less like a real conversation, and more like a "There's this" "but what, there's is also this and that" I can't really explain it well, as I've never questioned it, and I'm not fully sure this is truthful, or an accurate representation of how I think. How often do you feel different on the things you like, hate, or prefer, has it been confusing for you or has it been the same and stable? Mayybe? I don't really know, the tiredness kinda kicked in as I was writing this section, so I can't think well, but I do certainly constantly change my thoughts on all the different things I do. I wouldn't say it's confusing though, as they usually seemed to make sense to me. I think my likes are just kinda fluid, I always change what my likes are cause I get bored and just swap it up a bit.

Yeah thats fine, and hm.. you might sound like one to me, but take that as a second person opinion.

Let me give you a read on DID right here and for the OSDD here. These two links has been skimmed by me to ensure the articles given elaborates better, have more explanation, or a better text/structure for ease of reading.

And come back to me once more to tell your evaluation/conclusion (after reading that) and also add if this defines your situation, alright?

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #janswersask

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chxrlynn · 3 years

Text

being in a relationship with them

characters : shanks & nico robin

warnings : none? 15+ ig?

a/n : thank you so much for the request and support @shankspants!! couldn't have reached 50 without you ^^. i was a lil bored so i did both, i hope this pleases you! it was fun writing for them and i got all soft and a little carried away with listing so it's a lil long. lowkey think it's kinda boring for standards but i hope you still enjoy them! have a great day, mwah <3!

reblogs, likes, and replies are appreciated! <33

shanks

if you're shorter than him, he always rests his head on the crown of your head or shoulders.

if you're taller than him, please rest your head on his head or shoulder.

his love language (giving) is everything and (receiving) anything BUT physical affection is his favorite to give and receive (followed by quality time).

definitely an ass guy.

smacks your ass everytime you or him walk pass each other.

lays his head on your ass when he catches you lying on your stomach.

likes to rub your belly <3.

you either have to be a heavy sleeper or patient as fuck .

you can't cuddle with him because he sleeps in a starfish position.

this man snores like a dragon and sleeps like a rock.

refuses to believe he beats kaido in snoring even if the whole ship complains about it.

loves it when your fingers get lost in his red locks.

as much as he's loud and can't shut up, he loves sitting in silence with you at night.

drunk shanks if just an even more lovesick idiot.

peppers your face with kisses and will die if you do the same.

his weak spots to be kissed at are his scar and left shoulder.

will also die if you carry him bridal style.

at this point, just consider luffy as the son you never met.

loves to wear matching pieces clothing.

falls in love all over again when he sees you clapping someone's ass.

benn is either happy someone else has to deal with shanks or disappointed because he has another shanks to deal with.

he loves kissing your neck and collarbone.

a LOT if i love you's everyday :((.

because this man refuses to let you forget or feel unloved

uses conqueror's to fuck with you and loves your reaction.

lord, if someone hurts you...

well, he's an emperor for a reason!

tell him he's hot when he gets all serious and cocky, and his lips are suddenly on yours

present or not present, he blabbers about you day and night to his crew.

"captain, please, respectfully, shut the fuck up."

"and they-" "suddenly punched the asshole and clapped his ass no problem. damn, i fell in love all over again because that was hot as fuck, yes, we know. you told us for the 4th time today."

whenever you argue, it's most likely him thinking your overdramatic and you thinking he's dense, OR VICE VERSA.

all arguements ends with kisses or more ;)

his title doesn't matter when he's with you.

he's just shanks, the love of your life.

i feel like shanks is the type of person who won't date anyone unless he's sure to marry them

so... CONGRATULATIONS!!!

if you show interest in luffy and remember something about luffy that he told you, he'll get all giddy and laugh.

praise him and you might get whatever you want ;).

nico robin

QUALITY TIME IS HER LOVE LANGUAGE

followed by (giving) acts over service then physical touch.

when you're not in the same room, she checks up on you with her ability from time to time.

scares you the fuck up because you'd be concentrating and then

"would you like to have a tea or snacks?" somewhere in the room.

"are you looking for this?" a finger points to something you were looking for.

"need me to help?" cue two arms emerging from your table .

all in all, just loves to help you in any way possible.

when you call her mommy be it as a joke or for real, she teases you back with some "ara, ara".

lowkey loves it when you cling to her.

knows the language of flowers and uses it even if you don't know shit.

touchstarve, obviously.

remember when i said sometimes hands, eyes, or lips pop out of nowhere in the room your in?

will melt if you intertwine your fingers around her bloomed ones.

holds hands with you even if you're across the sunny.

ALWAYS smiling when she's around you.

you and the crew made life so much worth living and she thinks a smile is the least she can do for you.

sometimes, her cheeks hurt but she can't help it.

she'll always have your back, no matter what.

she's your bestfriend, s/o, fiancee (but you don't know that yet, emotional support and rock.

whenever you (RARELY) argue, you'd probably be irked at how calm she is.

that's just how she is, please understsnd her.

best cuddler because that ability of her can do wonders ;).

gets cold easily, please warm her up.

loves to kiss your hands and hairline.

face each other in bed and nose to nose? dies.

whenever she senses you're down and across the room, she just opens her arms and you just run into them

if you love to read or interested in reading, that's probably her favorite past time with you (ft. chopper).

god tier book recommendations, 100% guaranteed good reads.

look, she's happy to be alive right now with you and the crew BUT

tell her how much you're glad she's alive, and a few tears may or may not form.

GARDEN WITH HER, I REPEAT GARDEN WITH HER.

she's growing your favorite plant, doesn't care if it's a flower or weed, she WILL plant it and she WILL make it bloom.

teatime ft. brook ^^

her favorite spot is the aquarium bar.

loves to wear matching accessories with you.

can't keep her hands off of you.

play with her hair but never with her heart.

would love to have a kid someday (adopted or not).

kisses you out of the blue.

she's just a darling to have around.

at first, a little closed off emotionally but you'll get there slowly :)).

please don't hurt her :(.

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blissfulparker · 3 years

Text

Driving First class→T.H

Parings: mechanic!tom x reader

Summary: A bitter fight with your now ex has you taking your car instead of a train for a business trip. Although out of your pettiness and anger, your car breaks down and you are left in the middle of nowhere but luckily Tom sees your distress and the man who works on the car is your best rescue. But he works on you other ways both Physically and emotionally

Warnings: Dom!tom, sub!reader, degrading(only slightly), sex on top of a car, squirting, oral, unprotected sex (this is fictional please use protection!), orgasm denial, power struggle, Tom being scared of women for two seconds

Word count: 5.5k

A/n: yeah so idk why I got so horny all the sudden and wrote this. Tbh...I like this version of tom, whatever this is I kinda like it. Let me know what you guys think, if you want to see more or less but I present to you: the first full fic I’ve written in months!(also I know barely anything about cars so I’m sorry if it’s cringy😭)

“Fuck! Shit! Dammit! Fuck! Fuck!” You scream. Hitting your hands against the steering wheel. Such a stupid idea with a stupid end result how could you not expect it?

Taking a car instead of a plane or a train across the country to avoid your ex on a business trip. Thinking you were being more bold and brave, proving you never needed him in the first place when now you sit stranded out in the middle of nowhere with a smoking engine and only hours until sunset and you’re sweating your ass off in a suit. A suit, who the hell wears a suit on a road trip?

Your Phone only having one bar and giving you 20%, you’re doomed. Doomed to be stranded out here and either killed by a maniac or killed by a bear. If London even had bears you would be killed by one. Wanting to cry and scream and maybe a train seat next to your ex who cheated was a better option than crying in your grandpa’s old Chevy that you thought was a better idea than the Tesla or the BMW. Anything would’ve been a better idea than this one but for once you couldn’t let go of the fiery side to you and just got in a car with your middle finger to your ex thinking you were so much better than a first class seat with expensive champagne.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” You say to yourself. Your hands run over your face. As dramatic as you can be you think you feel the end coming. The smoke from the engine never dies down and the sun is getting hotter and hotter. No more bubble gum pop plays from the radio but instead the sound of birds chirping and your paranoia of a bear eating you eats at your ears. You think maybe you should’ve sent that drunk ‘I miss you’ text to your ex back two nights ago when you were drunk to maybe just feel his dick once more and get on a stupid train with him but now you are—

“Miss?” A knock at your window causes you to jump. Screaming as you are met with the face of a man and grabbing your pepper spray from the keys and pointing. Even though the window was rolled up you still point and he backs up with his hands up.

“What the fuck!” You scream as you lower the pepper spray. You don’t know when, don’t know how, but now pulled in front of you was a black SUV that was in much better shape than your car. A man who wore a tight white shirt and had sweet chocolate brown curls stood with a scared look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve seen your smoke some while back and...and you were slumped over your steering wheel and needed to make sure I didn’t need to call police.” He explained very rushed. You place your hand over your heart, calming yourself as you reached to roll down your window so you can properly talk to him. A harmless boy who was probably on his way home.

“I’m fine.” You almost groan as you put your pepper spray back down. Running your hands over your face once again. Tom takes in how nice you look, black suit and neatly painted nails, you looked expensive so what was such an expensive girl like you doing in such a dirty old car like this?

“You got smoke coming from your car, you don’t look fine miss.” He looks at the cloud that still comes from your car. He has a worried look. You hate that you make the assumption of him being a man so he will know how to fix it but at the same time he was an Angel sent from Heaven,

“The engine blew out...at least I think…” you trail off. Honestly you didn’t know anymore, The last time you worked with a car was when you were 15 and before your grandpa died. The only person who truly taught you about cars now seemed to be reincarnated into the Greek god in front of you.

“Mind if I take a look?” He asked and you nodded as you popped the hood.

Stepping out of your car you join the boy in the front. Taller than him in the heels you wore having him look up at you as if you were the Angel sent down in the moment.

He doesn’t hesitate to dig his fingers into your car. Feeling the overheated engine and you watched as his eyes went in shock and his sigh. You were fucked. Utterly fucked and no, it wasn’t by some hot guy on a plane like you wished in the moment.

“She’s busted.” He looked at you. You almost want to roll your eyes and go ‘thanks’ as if you already didn’t know that. “I might be able to fix her up, gotta take her back to the shop and see what I can do but other than that she’s no good for a ride.” He placed his hands on his hips and looked up at you again.

“You mean it’s like broken broken down?” You start to panic even more. Ruining the BMW was far more worth it than the ‘57 Chevy you drove. No one made a car like this anymore and you adored it. Every chip of paint, every dent, each faded seat you loved as your own.

“I can see what I can do.” He shrugged. He starts to walk to his car, opening the trunk to hook your busted vehicle up to his and drag it back to where he just came from. As he starts to hook up your car you only just stare, watching as he does his work. He rubs his now oily hands on his pant leg before he looks up at you.

“You wanna hop in the front?” He asked and you started walking to your car and he let out a laugh. “No I meant my car, Angel.”

The random man that pulls over on the side of the road, has you pointing your pepper spray one moment ago now has you acting like a idiot as he was so pretty and a gift sent just for you.

“Right,” you walk around to the passengers seat. “Sorry.” You cleared your throat as you sat and waited in silence. Waiting for him to come around and when he does he doesn’t say anything but just starts up the car.

“You’re not going to kill me are you?” You looked over to him who has a goofy grin on his face.

“No sweetheart.” He shakes his head and you sigh in relief. As if he would even tell you that he was going to kill you. “You’re not going to kill me are you? With that spray you’ve got?” He teased and you shook your head.

“No, and sorry, I was just panicked and you are—“ you started but he lets a low laugh that you find so attractive.

“No I get it, you’re fine.” He stared back at the road. You were so use to the city, the tall building and the blinding lights you never really got to see the beauty of London outside of it. The gorgeous countryside you never knew existed actually did. But the countryside only lasted for so long before you were in a town filled with some of the cutest shops and was like a small city. So cute and so tiny.

“You wear heels on a road trip?” He broke the silence again and this time you’re looking at the four inch shoes.

“I-well-“ you looked and sounded like a proper idiot. You worked for one of London’s best businesses and now you were stumbling over your words, “well...yes? I’m on a business trip.” You admit and he looks back at the busted vehicle.

“I don’t know what business you work for but them sending you in a—“ he starts and you shake your head.

“No, no, that is mine. I thought—I didn’t want to go on a train and—it’s just complicated. A complicated stupid mess.” You tell him and he tilts his head as if he was agreeing.

“Well, I’ll see how well I can get you out of the complicated stupid mess.” He flashed a smile before he turned into what looked like a garage. A large garage that was filled with cars of all types, from new to old there were cars that had looked like they had been worked on for days as Tom pulled his car up and turned it off.

“We have some water in the front if you need some and there's a bathroom in the back. Make yourself a home, I'll get started.” and so for once, instead of just staring at him as if he was a piece of art hanging in the louvre, you search for the bathroom and the water he was talking about.

Leaving him to pop back open your hood, you walk into the bathroom and run cold water over your face. Feeling yourself relax at the feeling of finally getting the heat from the sun out of your face. Facing yourself in the mirror, you stare long and hard at yourself. The dimly lit bathroom, the achy feeling in your feet from being so stupid and wearing heels, the fact you broke down in god know what part of london but now you are in a mechanic shop and you are letting some random person fix up your beloved car.

“Should’ve just gotten on the train.” you groan as you take a paper towel and dry your face. Reaching for the door and walking back out to the garage where tom was now in a white tank top that was stained black all over, he had a towel over his shoulder as he worked at your car. You try to swallow the lump in your throat as you are completely mesmerized by the man in front of you.

Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train.

“Fuck!” Tom almost hits his head on the hood of the car as he sees you. You think he had curly hair at the start, now he had hair that kind of stuck to his forehead from the heat and sweat of your car. His hands are covered in black oils and he wipes them on the towel. “You scared me.” he lets out a breath as if he held it in and you take a seat at the stool next to the table filled with tools as he walks over to it.

“Sorry,” you say as you look at the car and try not to make it obvious you want to fuck him right now. A complete stranger that picked you up, you want to fuck. What if he did want to kill you? What if he had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or a family of kids? What if-

“You hear me?” he was closer to you than ever and you felt your whole body go weak.

“I'm so sorry,” you shake your head. “What did you say?’

He lets out that stupid pretty laugh of his again as he puts tools back in the tool box. Cleaning up the mess he just made he repeats himself.

“I said, your car is so old that they don't make the part I need to fix her up anymore. Luckily I know a guy who has the part but it will take a few days to come in. the engine is completely busted and i think if i go a year up in model I can put it in just right. But for now she needs to cool off. She’s not gonna be able to drive for a while.” he gives you almost a pout and you slouch your shoulders.

“So I'm screwed?” your brows raised and he gave you a pressed lipped look.

“Im sorry angel, I got a spare room at my place or there is a bed and breakfast up the road I can drop you off at but for now there is nothing I can do.” he says and you sigh. Maybe you want to cry, scream, throw something but Tom notices it all at once as he watches your head drop.

Tom grew up around boys. His whole life was wrestling with his brothers and working on cars. He never dealt with girls crying. Even when he had girlfriends they typically left when they were crying but now he has a crying girl right under his roof after he worked on her car. It did take everything in him to not ask why she used the old thing but he knew a lot more was happening than just a beat down old car.

“I'm sorry. I should thank you, not cry.” you sniffled as you looked up at him who was on his knees crouched down for you. Face to face, he had a concerned look.

“I have a feeling that car isn't why you’re crying.” he didn't know how to play therapist and mechanic but tonight he would.

“I was so stupid not to just get on the train. God, I would have already been there by now and all because I didnt want to sit next to my stupid cheating ex who I thought I was so much better than if I just got in this old thing and drove there myself.” you wipe your eyes and he hands you a tissue but you shake your head.

“He sounds like a shit guy.” He spoke and you nodded.

“He is, but he was the only one that gave a shit about me and now I'm here like an idiot. Well, not an idiot...no, yeah. An idiot. You're really nice and sweet though so thank you.” you try and give him a smile and he stands up.

“Get up.” he groans a bit as he stretches his legs. “C’mon sweets, get up. I’m not going to let you cry over a guy who treated you like shit. You drink?” he asked and you nodded. “I have some beer in the fridge, you already had a shit day let's not cry about it.”

You don't know if you wanted to throw the wrench at him or if you needed him to say that. Either way he sets an ice cold beer in front of you and pops open the top for you.

Probably making more money than everyone in this town, you never thought you would plop down on a nearly broken bar stool in the middle of a car mechanic shop and drink away your feelings with a random man you just met today. You didnt even know his name, nor did he know yours but he listened to everything you had to say about your ex boyfriend who was probably fucking some model right now while you for once felt like you didnt have to play pretend nice in front of someone. How you don't know what god above sent this man in front of you but he did and he listened to each of your problems, nodding and not saying anything back as he just listened to everything.

“I used to work on cars too.” you look over at the cars and he raises his brows.you had finally stopped crying so much, realizing what was happening and where you were but you felt like a weight was taken off your shoulders when you told him everything. Not even your best friend could make you feel like that.

“Penthouse princess used to work on cars?” he teased and you only nudged his shoulder.

“Wow, penthouse princess?” you repeat back to him with a playful smile and he nods.

“Never got your name and you live in a penthouse and act like a princess.” he takes a sip of his beer and you finally extend your hand to meet his.

“(y/n).” you shook his dirty one but wow were his hands thick. You could feel each callous and feel each crooked finger. Your mind went to dirty places and you think maybe he caught on as he watched your legs cross over themselves as you shook his hand.

“Tom.” his thumb swiped over yours as he shook your hand. The feeling made you swallow hard and him smirk just a bit for himself. Before you could get too comfy you walked over to a truck that already had its hood popped open. You stumble a bit in your heels and the uneven ground and Tom is quick to follow you to make sure you don't hurt yourself.

“That's the engine.” you point. And he nods, his hand is on his hips as he watches you point and explain. “That's the brake pad, that's where you put in the oil…” you trail on and Tom nods as you get everything correct.

“Very good, darling.” he nods impressed and you look over at him with a smirk.

“What? No penthouse princess?” you're close to him. You didn't realize how close he was to you before you turned around and are almost chest to chest with him.

“Mmh, you have a preference?” he teased and you look down at your feet. You're still taller than him, but you think even without the heels on you would be either taller or the same height as him. You were always told that you were the one in control, always the one in demand which seemed to be a complaint by your ex.

“Mmh,” you lean in close enough to where your chest is gently pressed against his. “I'm not sure yet.” you let your hand go to the strap of his tank top, its dirty with oil before you let your hands go down and touch the muscle. Feeling just how strong he was, he was pretty tanned too. He was both toned and tanned as he watched your hands trail down to the bottom of his shirt.

His hands rested on your waist. Holding you tight in place and maybe in the moment he was the shorter on but he was always in control. Always.

“You seem so indecisive, do you want to drive or get on a train? Get back with a man or stay away? You don't even know where you want to sleep at night but you still act like you're so in control.” he almost mocks, giving you the same pout you had throughout the entire night and it shocked you.

“I know what I want.” you nearly snarl back and he clicks his tongue.

“Yeah?” he almost whispers as he leans in for your ear. “Prove it.”

You don't know when or how but his lips quickly land on yours. In a rough fight for dominance he has his hands wrapped around your thighs and has you picked up and laid down on one of the cars with a hood down. You don't realize it's your car with his hood down until you brace yourself on the hood. Stripping of your suit jacket and fiddling with your pants button but tom is already on it. He's down on his knees, undoing the straps of your shoes as he lets his hands go up and undo the buttons of your pants. Having you nearly completely naked in front of him, that's not exactly what he was going for as he picks you up from the hood as has you on your knees in front of him.

“Was so cute, you thought you were going to get exactly what you wanted.” his hand was dirty as it stroked your face but landed a grip on your chin. Pulling you in close, your head in between his thighs looking up at him with pleading eyes. You almost whimper, you were on your knees for a man you didn't know and you were almost whimpering.

“Dont act stupid.” he nearly spit at you as he leaned back. Your hands are going to unzip his pants but he stops you. Forcing you to rest your hands on his thighs as he pulls himself out of his pants. You swallowed hard as he was bigger than you had expected--far bigger than your ex as you felt like your mouth was watering as he used his thumb to stroke over the tip.

“Stick your tongue out.” he told you. You gladly stuck your tongue out with your mouth wide and ready to take him. He had one grip on your jaw and the other guiding his cock into your mouth. You start to suck but that's not what he wanted. He held your jaw in place as he thrusted up into you.

“Thats a good girl,” he hissed as he used your mouth as if it was his own personal toy. You reached to stroke what couldnt fit in your mouth and he let out an airy laugh. “What a little whore you are.” he shook his head. “So desperate, is this not enough for you? Sucking on my cock not enough for you?” he taunted you and you only moan—or at least try to moan and he laughs.

“What was that darling? I can't seem to hear you?” he teased and you only whined more with your mouth around him. You play a game with yourself where you think you can make him cum like this. Making him cum this early would mean that you always were more incharge from the start. But you barely know him, you don't know how long he can last.

“Get up.” he pulls your head off of him. His cock still hard as it fell onto his stomach and you were drooling with his precum. Your eyes don't even look up at him you look at the redness of his cock, how you want more of it and maybe you were the whore like he said.

“Look at me,” he pulled you up, now face to face with him. His hand that was free slips in between thighs, teasing as he gets closer and closer to your core and he clicks his tongue again. “Such a dirty girl, don't even want to look at me, say thank you, you just look at my cock wanting more. You want more?” he strokes your cheek and you nod. “What was that? A moment ago I thought I was talking to one of the richest girls in London but now I feel like I'm talking to just some whore--” he starts to talk but your lips are already on his. You straddle his hips. Extremely unsturdy but he quickly picks you up and flips you over. As much as he'd loved to see what you look like on top of him. Tits bouncing for him and trying to hold on, here was not the best place. He would get a better view later, he just knew it.

For now he flips you over on your stomach. You're pressed up against the car as he wraps his hand around your waist and uses his fingers for a bit.

“So fucking tight.” he slides in slowly at first. Making you gasp and him hiss. “That other boy fuck you like this?” he asked but you were too busy trying to feel more of him. His hand comes down to your ass and in shock you yelp. “I asked you a question, don't say you don't know manners either.'' He was close to your ear and you shook your head no.

“No!” you nearly cry out as he pushes into you. Completely filling you up. You feel tears perk at the corner of your eyes for how desperately you needed him. You even push back on him and he lets out a soft laugh. “H-he's never fucked me like this, god tom please move!” you cry out. His hands come to your waist and he clicks his tongue again.

“Since you asked so nicely.” he teased as he pulled himself fully out and pushed himself fully back in. you cry out, not caring who heard you, you cried out as he fucked into you like you two were the last people on earth.

“Fuck youre so tight.” he threw his head back as he held on to your hips. You felt yourself give up under him. There was no use in you trying to take control anymore when he did this to you. Had you dumbed down just for his dick.

“I need to cum tom.” you cry out. You try and open your eyes to look back at him who has created a rhythm for your body. His head is thrown back and he shakes his head.

“No.” was all he said and you nearly cry more. “Not yet.” was all he said as he went faster.

“Please, please, please.” you begged between a mixture of moans and cries. Reaching back to hold his hands but he quickly moved them to wrap around your waist and touch your clit. Using his thumb to rub gentle circles you nearly

“So cute when you whine like that.” he chuckled. You felt him twitch, knowing he was close too, you clenched your walls around him. You could barely hear his gasp but you have your cheek pushed up against the hood of your car that got you here in the first place.

“Fuck,” he struglld to moan out. “C-Cum for me.” he sped up and your whole body went numb. You swear you pass out for a moment as all you hear are his moans and the sudden feeling of him stopping.

Both heavy breathing you slowly move yourself to get up, at least turn yourself around so you can face a clearly stunned tom. His mouth open just a bit and his eyes are wide.

“Y-you squirted.” he tells you and suddenly you go from feeling like the sexiest person alive to feeling your body heat up in full embarrassment.

“I-i'm so sorry i-i didn't know-” you start to stammer as you reach for your shirt to clean him up but he shakes his head still trying to catch his breath.

“No, It was hot.” he says as his shock turns into a small smirk, cocky that he was able to do that. “Fuck, have you ever done that before?” he asked.

Your cheeks heated up, even though he couldn't see the clear embarrassment you nodded. One time, years ago when you were by yourself. You hadn't touched yourself in over a month and it was just the highest setting of your vibe and the hottest porn star you could find that had done it to you. Never ever had an actual man been able to make you do that. Hell, you were lucky if your ex even made you cum.

“O-Once, once but I was by myself.” you swallowed hard, you could already see the smirk on his face as he knew he was so much better than anyone you had ever had. He didn't even know your ex partners but if he could get you to do that the first time he fucked you then even you knew you didn't need anyone else.

He uses his clean shirt to clean you up. Helping you slip back on your underwear and making sure that you could still walk--you barely could. He helps you into his car. Letting you cool down a bit before he drove out of the garage, driving down the road and it was only about a minute until you arrived at the cutest house you had ever seen.

He lifted you out and brought you inside, passing you clothes that were far better to sleep in than a suit and your completely ruined underwear, you found yourself getting comfy under his bedsheets.

“So im guessing im not going to the bed and breakfast for the night?” you nuzzled into the sheets that smelt of ocean spray and cedarwood. This man was some sort of god, you swore on it.

“Hmm, no. unless you still want to.” he slides under the sheets himself. His hands dont touch you but you gladly lean in and wrap your arms around him. He at first stills, stiffens his whole body before he relaxes for you. He didn't even know what he was thinking. First he helps the pretty girl he worried was dead on the side of the road and now he has her in his bed after having one of the best orgasms of his life.

“No,” you hum against his chest. “If you don't mind.” but it wasn't a question. This time you take control over the situation and fall quickly asleep in his arms. He only lays there, waiting for you to find yourself fully asleep.

Fuck that stupid train, fuck your stupid ex, and fuck him.

Dark roast and sizzling eggs fill your nose. You wake up with puffy eyes, from crying last night embarrassingly in Tom's arms you look down and see you're only in a random stained tee and your underwear. In a way,you thought you hit your head hard enough on the steering wheel that all of this was a dream but it was real. You lay in a grey sheeted bed and hear the sound of music come from the kitchen.

Ideally, if you got on the train, you would have woken up in a hotel with a view of the city and probably eat half of a bagel and drink rich coffee from the breakfast bar before being off to your first conference of the day. But you were instead naked in the bed of a man who was helping you fix your car.

You stumble out of the bed, your legs wobbly, feeling as if you did a hardcore work out you nearly wince. What the man did was something you swore was only in porn. You don't know what kind of magic fucked him over while he works on cars but his fingers were skilled.

“Woah, woah,” Tom came over to you. Plaid boxers and no shirt, you think you died and went to heaven. Your car exploded and you died and went to heaven and if this is what it was then you were perfectly okay with that. “You okay?”

You nod, sitting at the island and only watching him. You knew you had to say a word soon but you didn't know what to say.

“Not so sure how you liked your eggs so I made them scrambled because that's personally how I like them but I can make them any other way you like-�� he starts to go off and you only nod.

“No, I like scrambled.” When was the last time you had a breakfast like this? You grew up with servants and your parents are always gone. You never had a breakfast as simple as this.

He gave you a smile, you walked over to the coffee machine and poured coffee into the mug that was already out.

“Not sure if you were a coffee or tea type of person, if you-” before you could listen to his ramble again you shook your head.

“I like coffee. Coffee for the morning and tea typically in the evening.” you tell him and he gives a smile and a sweet nod.

“Me too.” was all he said before he remembered what was happening. “Hey, when do you have to be at that business trip? Or whatever it was?” you nearly spit out the coffee as he brings it up. You knew everything that was happening but honestly you were holding on to the concept you died and went to heaven but you had a conference in probably an hour and who the hell knows where you are.

“You know what,” your heart suddenly calms down. The panic subsides as you take another sip of that coffee. “Fuck them. They have waited for others before and they can wait for me. Fuck the trip, fuck the car and fuck my ex.” you felt good saying it. Tom slid you a plate of eggs and toast and you smiled.

“The car is still better than the train?” He remembers how all of this is about you and your ex fighting and you not wanting to sit on the train next to him.

With a smile, with everything that had happened within the past 24 hours, you pick up the plate and turn to tom.

“I don't think I should've taken the train.”

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Tagged for mechanic!tom: @londonspidey

#mechanic!tom #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #imagine tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland au #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst

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adriensaltprompts · 3 years

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Submitted prompt: The horrors of a Cat's obsession

Edited a bit.

An event that I think had definitely happened in the dimension of Chat Blanc.

TW for emotional manipulation, emotional abuse.

Kinda my try at @walks-the-ages request/challenge(?) to write about a day in Marinette in Chat Blanc. (Tagging her since she said she wants to see anything people write for the challenge, and also to remind her that she said she was going to write one yesterday)

Hope I'm not breaking the rules.

Marinette sighed, feeling down as she returned to her room, wanting nothing but to wallow in how bad her day was.

At this point, it had been two months after she and Adrien became a couple when he confessed his feelings to her.

And while sure, she enjoyed it, there was something... deeply wrong.

She doesn't know what it is, but something is wrong!

But she doesn't know what it is!

Adrien was the same sweet and gentle boy who she loved...

But today was a very harsh day.

She was supposed to be out on a date with Adrien this evening, only for an Akuma to pop out of nowhere, and she had to abandon that plan.

After everything was finished, she had to listen to Adrien stating that it was so sad that she couldn't appear for their date, and he was so upset about it.

His tone made her feel horrible. As if she did a great sin, as if she were hurting him on purpose, as if she were the worst person in the world.

And worse, Chat Noir was not present in that fight at all, requiring her to fight on her own.

Something that she felt was happening more often, but she couldn't get a straight answer of why?

That jerk always gives the same excuses as to why he didn't appear those days:

He was struck by the Akuma first, his family and/or friend had a sudden event and he couldn't just escape.

Even more cruel, he will state those excuses with that smug tone of his, as if he knew that no matter what excuse he gave, no matter how flimsy, there was nothing she could do about it.

And she is feeling more and more furious at him.

But she still can understand that this relationship isn't working.

Her relation with Adrien is cruel to both her and Adrien, at least as long as she is Ladybug. She has to skip out on dates with him, and it's obviously hurting him a lot more than she could have imagined. And the guilt of having to leave their plans is breaking her heart, because she has no choice.

Maybe she should break up with him for now? He would understand, right?

That train of thought screeched to a halt as she heard a knocking on her roof's door.

It was Chat Noir. No one else could have gotten onto her roof without coming through her room to do it.

Groaning, she opened the door, lamenting on the fact that even if she didn't open it, he will keep knocking until she had to open it. One time, she'd tried to ignore him, only for him to sit outside for two full hours, knocking and knocking even after she tried to go to sleep.

"What's the problem now, Chat Noir?" She asked.

How she hates being polite to him at this point.

"Well, princess," He grinned at her from where he was lounging on the railing, having used his extended baton to knock on the door, "I just felt that you are in a sad mood and wanted to cheer you up! So, what's the problem?"

Marinette had to stop herself from yelling at him that HE was the problem.

She isn't Ladybug now, just Marinette, and if his reactions to her when she rejected him as Ladybug were already so terrible, what could he do to her if she antagonised him now?

He clearly didn't seem to give a damn about her.

The fact that he barely blinked when Gigantitan destroyed her room and laughed at that made it clear.

"Nothing. I'm just tired." She said shortly, trying to stop him from prodding any further.

It didn't work.

"Oh, princess, I know that tone." He wheedled.

How dare he say that so innocently?!

He smiled mockingly, "You have problems with your love, right?"

What does he know about romantic love to feel that he can say that to her? She'd rather not deal with his so-called love to her Ladybug identity.

"Look, I know about this, so please let me help you." he said.

Because if I reject your 'help', I might get cataclysmed for my defiance, is that right?. She thought to herself, enraged. At this point, she wouldn't put it past him.

Of course, she tried her best to not show him her actual feelings and simply asked him what he meant.

He answered happily. "You see, love requires that you trust and try your best to help your crush, no matter the obstacles."

Even though the irony of him of all people telling her that had not been lost to her, the so-called advise could not get out of her mind.

Because she was already used to helping other people, even at her own expense.

It was drilled to her since childhood by Mme. Bustier and the adults in her life,and even Adrien did this, albeit a little more subtly and it helped that the rose-tinted glasses she sees him through had not been removed yet.

It would be only few minutes later that Chat Noir will leave her house after trying to "help her with her crush", leaving her feeling horribly guilty at the idea that she should break up with Adrien.

Not even a minute later, she got a message from Adrien, where he apologised for how they couldn't have a "fun date", which just made Marinette all the more guilty and made her more determined to be there for Adrien.

He deserves that much at least, right?

Meanwhile, in a roof not that far, Adrien, now detransformed, smiled at the message he gave to his "buggaboo", knowing that not only is she now feeling even more guilty at her disappointing him, she will try to accommodate his wishes even more.

Plagg meanwhile was glaring at his holder at what he was doing.

He hated this. He hated this so much.

How much he wished to just rip off the Ring of this disgusting and horrible holder he was bound with.

How much he wanted to make this brat reflect on why what he was doing is horrifying.

Sadly, he can't.

As long as his holder still has the Ring, he was hopeless. He'd been ordered not to tell anyone what Adrien was doing, so he couldn't go to Ladybug to tell her or Tikki what was wrong.

As long as his holder still doesn't try to grow and be responsible, then Ladybug will also become hopeless.

And Adrien... Adrien didn't care.

Why would he?

He has everything he wants, he can do anything he wants, and no one will stop him.

Just wait until he gets to fully control Marinette like a doll on his fingers...

That time, it will come soon...

Rules for the blog - send a prompt

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I kinda tried the Angst+Horror approach but sadly this is my best, hope this is good enough.

#ML writing prompts #Miraculous Ladybug #abuse #emotional abuse #marinette deserves better #Chat Blanc #Chat Blanc Au #Chat Noir #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir salt #Adrien salt #Chat salt #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Ladybug #Show!Miraculous #Show!Marinette #Show!Adrien

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xoruffitup · 3 years

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Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work.

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

#Adam Driver #Annette #Cannes 2021 #driverdaily #Annette spoilers

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kurisus · 3 years

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Chapter 94-2 thoughts

Had stuff to do last night so here they are now, with a bonus of me speculating on other speculations. As always, spoilers under the cut.

I’m really glad we got that confirmation that Nora was a stillborn spirit/miscarriage/some other such thing. It’s been a fan theory foreeeeever and it does put a lot of things into perspective--why she wasn’t affected by GGS (she likely never had a name to begin with), why Yato saw no real memories when he named her, why she never thought of her and Yato murdering people as wrong, why she envies Hiyori, the list goes on. Yeah, it pretty much explains her entire character. And again, this was something that’s been guessed at for a long time, but having the verbal confirmation is nice.

So then, why does she look like a young teen instead of an infant? I think it’s because she was named with the koto no ha, which allowed her to take on a form closer to how she thought she might look, rather than her literal appearance at death. I don’t think a normal god could even name her, since if she died before being born she wouldn’t really have the will to live on that’s necessary for a shinki, right? But she became a mizuko, ayakashi got hold of her, and Father named her.

Her taking on an idealized appearance for herself is probably why she looks older now than in the Yato flashback chapters. She doesn’t look THAT much older, but I have a feeling she matched her visual appearance to his. Does that mean she could look like an adult if she wanted?

There’s also speculation that she’s trash dad’s biological child with his pockmarked gf, and said gf died while pregnant with her, which is certainly plausible. I don’t really have much of an opinion on this myself, though. If she’s someone else’s kid he could see himself as her savior and thus she’s indebted to him, whereas if she’s his own kid he harbors resentment toward her for her living on (in a way) while his gf did not.

That does raise the question of why Pockmarks didn’t become a spirit. I bet Father was looking for her spirit to name it, whether or not Nora is his daughter. But he never found it, and his hatred toward heaven only grew, so he created Yato instead.

I see a lot of people wondering about the panel of Sakura so here’s my guess. First off, glad to see her again since it’s been a while. Second, I think it’s just because they were discussing a shinki’s past, not that Hiyori is Sakura’s reincarnation or descendant or anything. Hiyori knows what happened to Sakura and the hand Nora had in that (however unintentionally), and how Nora wasn’t affected by the same curse. The panel didn’t strike me as odd while reading, so I just assumed it was because Hiyori was remembering her, and the price she paid for learning her former name.

Every month they don’t reveal Yukine’s final letter my fear grows. It’s gonna be a feelings bomb, I just know it. Whatever it was, it was something that got Nora thinking about her own unusual past.

Moving on to Father, he’s in some strong denial. This chapter was pretty similar to 92-2, in that Father gets his ass kicked by a very angry Yato. So why have a similar thing happen again so soon? I think it’s because now Yato is not only mad on Yukine’s behalf, but his own (this would also explain why Yukine didn’t say anything this chapter). Yato’s been through hell and back recently, trying his hardest to be the one to kill his dad, only for his dad to be like “haha sike tho right”

Kazuma’s slowed down, Yato’s sustained several injuries, but he’s still ready to kill. We truly see his conviction now, and him fighting with his own strength, not just Kazuma’s. Payback is sweet.

All this time, even after all this fighting, even after Yato told him he sold him out, trash dad never thought Yato was seriously out to kill him. Hence the shocked expression on the last page.

Just a couple more things I want to go over. Everyone’s (rightly, imo) assuming that Yato’s last line about “Yaboku” dying with Father as meaning his past self dying, not his present self. Yato has thought of himself as collateral damage this entire arc, but I don’t think he will die. You can all come into my inbox and clown me if I’m wrong, but nowhere in the manga’s future do I see him dying and reincarnating, or just dying. He’s been trying to avoid that his whole life, even though he’s said he’s okay with it if it means his dad goes down.

His past self dying could also be why they drew him in the same outfit he wore as a kid, even though his face was still that of an adult’s. The Yaboku that Father remembers is coming to kill him, and will then be no more.

...and everyone can live happily ever after, right? right???

So, what will happen next? Well, the sun is rising, so if Amaterasu is punctual she’ll get there right as Yato is about to behead Father. But will he be the one to do it? They’ve been building up her involvement, so it feels weird that she wouldn’t do anything against him.

Take and Ebisu still have to destroy his grave, so I think the first half of next chapter will cover their adventure. I wonder how they’ll coordinate the timing of it all, though. Do they have to destroy Father’s soul and his grave at the same time, or just roughly?

we popping the BIGGEST bottles when Father bites it next chapter

After Father dies, what I’m thinking (hoping) will happen is Ooharai will reveal how truly fucked heaven is, and Yato, Yukine, and Hiyori will be like “you know he kinda had a point” and work to fix it. But on the other hand, the mood of late does feel like it’s going to an ending, so my hope could be futile.

I just don’t want it to end anytime soon. this is my emotional trauma support manga and what am I even gonna do with my time if I’m not speculating about what little we know?

Anyway. Hoping for not the end yet, bottom line.

#Noragami #Noragami manga #Noragami spoilers #side note someone remind me to clean out my computer files they are a hot mess and I never have time #or when I do I never remember #live update

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yanderecandystore · 4 years

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PLEASE i need more of your among us concept, it was so good!

Hi!! How are you doing? I saw a lot of people want more of these, so I wanted to gain some time to be able to come up with more stuff about Yandere Among Us.

So, I hope you didn't wait too long. How about we continue where we left off?

But this time with an proper begining.

TW/Tags: Everyone is fighting // more characters because I hate myself! // Shy boy is a really suspicious boy // not as much as yandere tendencies, but maybe the start of them?? // All characters have real names, but calling each other by colors is a formal military way in this universe, ya know? // Mentions of blood and possibly (just maybe) scent kink 👀 // It may low-key not be like the original game but I tried ;-;

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

"- You're pretty sus, not gonna lie." Ch - 1 [Yandere!Among Us x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

(Ch - 2)

"- And then I told her:' Yo, your chicken is dry as hell!' And then she beat me with a stick." You were currently talking with your best pal, Cyan! You two were in the cafeteria taking a snack-break, while everyone was trying to repair the ship by doing their own assigned tasks.

"- H-Heh, that's so you [Y/N]." Cyan said, although their tone was extremely off, like they didn't know what to say. They haven't eaten anything since the day began, and you were starting to worry if they were okay or not.

"- Buddy, are you okay? You haven't touched any of the snacks I brought you, you haven't even eaten a single marshmallow yet, and I thought these were your favorites!" You told them while shoving more potato chips down your mouth.

To you, the situation was mildly confusing, but to "Cyan" it was an absolute nightmare! How are they supposed to keep this up?? You're going to end up blowing their cover, they just know it!

They started to consider making you their next meal, yet if they did it right now everyone would be suspicious of them, since "they" have been with you ever since you two went to do tasks.

Stars help them, because things can go wrong any minute now! They were sweating under the suit out of nervousness and because of how hot and wet the suit was.

They didn't have time to clean the blood inside of the suit, so it was basically really, really sticky inside it.

They were disassociating until you've put your hand on top of theirs.

"- Cyan, what's wrong?!" You sound so worried, so loud yet concerned. For someone that was floating through space using asteroids to move around, your voice is so- Different, from the empty void out there. They aren't accustomed to this feeling yet.

"- I-I am! Don't worry about it, I, I think I just had a really long day, that's all." They lied through their teeth hoping that you would fall for it. But of course, you're way too stubborn to fall for that.

"- Are you sure tho? I- I could call White to see if you're sick, or maybe-" You were interrupted by the Cyan's scream while they suddenly stood up.

"- No! No, please- You-" Stars, they're terrible at this, aren't they?? They just need to shush you for now, they can't let you call someone else! The more people around them the more anxious they'll be and they will obviously be exposed to-

"- Look, [Y/N]-" -They tried to calm themselves, everything is fine, they just need to think of a way to make your worries go away- "- I'm fine, I promise, okay?" They said while putting their hands on your cheeks forcing you to look at their space suit's helmet.

You feel flustered by the sudden movement. Not only were you caught off guard by their sudden reaction, but-

This- this little thing that they did? Was starting to blossom a lot of unwanted flowers inside your heart.

' God, take a grip [Y/N]! You can't be all flustered in a time like this!' You think to yourself while shaking your head to wipe the lovey-dovey thoughts out of your mind.

You just can't help it though! You guess that ever since your team has been stuck in space- No, ever since you first met Cyan in the facility on Earth and were introduced to your team as their new crewmate, you have found yourself having a crush on Cyan. You hate to admit this, but yeah, they were always kinda… Cute, to you.

Ah well, Cyan was always the rascal, the flirty over the top one. The one that was always playing around yet also keeping their head strong when facing a conflict. Always so radiant yet so down to earth. Oh well, here you go, simping again, oh geez...

You try to wake yourself from your fantasy world, this is not the time [Y/N]!

"- Okay-y then! I-I'm really sorry if I was bothering you!" You try to speak up yet you stutter all the way, making you feel embarrassed at how silly you're acting right now.

And while you're dealing with your inner struggles, Cyan is looking at you really confused (not that you would be able to see it because of their helmet). There is something really strange about the way you talk to them that is making them wonder what your previous relationship with this "Cyan" human was all about, and wondering if they can keep it up with this charade if they observe you and learn more about, well, "how to be themselves" around everyone else.

Actually, this may work perfectly! By getting small clues out of you, they'll be able to decipher how to properly imitate humans!

But, they're still oblivious to human emotions, so this may take more time than expected, luckily you two can spend a lot of time alone-

"- Yooooo, look over there y'all!" You two heard someone shouting while coming into the cafeteria. Oh God, really?-

Of course it was Red, who else would be making fun of you two?

Well, he is not mean, he is just- ARGH!! He keeps picking on you for liking them, and it frustrates you so much when he comes looking all smug-

If your face could, it would turn itself into a tomato and probably pop off of your body and roll away from the embarrassment.

Wow… Okay, that was a little exaggerated, but still!-

"- How is my favorite couple doing on this pleasant evening?" He said while coming forward. His words making you turn on your defensive mode instantly:

"- We're not dating you know! I told you this nineteen times, Geez, stop being an ass…" Yep, really subtle how your cheeks lighten up at the idea of being a couple with Cyan.

And while the rest of the crew is now appearing into vision and coming forward to the cafeteria, Cyan is losing their grip ever so slightly- They can't handle this! It's- It's literally too many of you!

They can't take out every single one of you at once! This is terrible!

They need- They need to calm down and take this suit off. The heat is starting to take over their head.

"- So, how's it been for you two? Ya know, beside all the smooching-" Red says as he looks directly at you awaiting your delicious response, which was a little pouty face, so it meant that his job was done for today "- Have you guys finished your tasks?"

"- Oh! Well, we didn't manage to complete everything, the lights turned off out of nowhere and we couldn't see anything!" You tell him honestly. You're still kinda sad about it, it sucks to finish the day without completing everything you needed to.

Everyone's gathering around and sitting at the main table, it's time for a dinner meeting and assignment of tasks for tomorrow before everyone goes to sleep. God, you already miss your bed so much!

"- Ha! I knew it wasn't just in one room!... But yeah honestly me too, I couldn't finish my task because of the blackout. All that I needed to do was to swipe the card though!" Red said, while stealing one of your snacks, which earned a little "hey" coming from you, he was only joking though, as he returns the snack back to you before he can eat any.

"- Well, don't worry, tomorrow we can finish it!" Said Yellow, trying to lighten up the mood by being positive.

"- I sure do hope so-" Orange was about to say when Blue came in and interrupted all of you.

"- But what if we can't do any of them tomorrow?" Their voice echoed through the cafeteria. Everyone was silent as Blue's words caused a new feeling to arise inside the crew's hearts. Despair.

As no one was saying anything, they continued-

"- You guys seriously haven't noticed our situation yet, have you? We're floating through space because or engines have been broken by the asteroids outside, we can't even navigate this spaceship-"

"- We're trying to fix this-" Pink started, but failed to continue.

"- And while we keep "trying" and not actually doing anything, we are all in danger! Even the facility has stopped communicating with us-"

"- Blue! That 's enough!" White had interrupted his rant. His yelling was starting to get hold of Yellow's feelings, she was always sensitive to yelling and loud noises in general. Truth is, that the most positive person in your group was truly the most negative one in this scenario, yet she wanted to keep everyone together, to keep bringing hope inside everyone, even though she herself didn't truly believed in that hope.

"- W-We-" Yellow tried to speak through her sobbing, trying to hold enough strength to control her bottled up emotions from spitting out.

"- Come on, take deep breaths, I know you can do this-" Black tried to comfort her, like he would to everyone aboard.

"- We-We are all going to die here-e." She whispered in between sobs. Her breathing became more frantic and more desperate for air.

It's the eight time this week someone had a breakdown while everyone was present.

"- Blue, seat down." White asked, yet her normally stern voice made it sounded more like a command, which Blue absolutely despised.

"- I'm-" Blue started, yet, stopped themselves. Wanting to say something towards their distressed crewmate yet deciding to go away and miss tonight's meeting. Again.

"- This is stupid." They said before leaving.

"- Blue come back this instant-" White tried to call them, they didn't even look back.

"- … Didn't even apologise…" Brown said, trying to keep his cool even though he couldn't stand Blue's antics ever since the ship was stuck in space.

"- D-Damnit!" Orange punched the table with her wrists. God, she hated every single second spent in this hellish place. She only retracted her anger when she noticed Yellow flinching from the sound.

"- I'm- I'm so sorry Yellow-"

"- It's fine! D-Don't worry about it!" She said while trying to keep her own little charade going on. But after a month, no one believes her at this point.

"- Yellow I can lead you back to your room! Do you want to company?" Said Pink, their voice sounding just as sweet and cute as their personality. The only one helping everyone stay sane by simply being there and saying "Hi!" every "morning".

"- I would like it." Yellow had calmed herself down enough so she could at least say a couple of words. She said her good nights and followed Pink back into her room.

"- It's another meeting wasted." Green said while packing their things.

"- Well, it could be worse, right? Good night everyone!" Said Purple not really caring about anything at this point.

"- Oh, come on everyone! Shouldn't we discuss our tasks for tomorrow?" Red asked, if not begged for them to come back. How has this happened? How has all your crew started to fall apart so easily?

"- Don't worry Red, we can do that tomorrow morning." Black said while comforting White who was having a headache because of the endless fights inside the spaceship.

This was the third time just this week that your meetings were interrupted by arguing. This is only the second time Blue has actually been the cause of it though.

"- Maybe they miss their family?" Lime asked while referring to Blue.

"- We all do." Brown said while standing up and going to his own bedroom. Muttering something through his teeth that no one could understand.

The whole situation happened so fast, you couldn't even understand what just happened!

"- Are, are we-"

"- Yes [Y/N], you're all dismissed." White answered already knowing what you were going to ask.

"- Oh…. Do you want some?" You asked motioning the snacks up to her, which surprised her yet she appreciated the gesture.

"- Thank you…." She whispered. You nod your head and decide to give her some space. You knew that you didn't need to worry too much about it, as Black was there to help her feel better.

If Black wasn't in this ship, she would have already fallen apart. All of you would.

"- Well, I guess dinner has ended sooner than expected!" Red tried to joke to lighten up your mood, to which you give a little chuckle. God, today is a really terrible day isn't it?

"- Uhn, hey, you're okay? You have been quiet throughout the whole meeting." Red asked Cyan.

Oh. Oh no, please no.

"- Uhn? Yeah? I… did?" They're so dead.

"- Yeah, it was… Pretty odd. Last time Blue yelled you had put them in their place, and it was pretty cool of you to stand for Yellow like that". Red said remembering that day. He didn't have anything against Blue, as he knew Blue is trying their best like everyone else. Yet he didn't like how Blue started to act like an ass lately, especially not even apologising towards Yellow or even the whole crew for that matter.

Cyan was sweating like crazy. They were panicking at the beginning of the meeting because of the amount of humans surrounding them, but when they noticed how easily humans let their distrust control them, they decided to let them speak and see what would happen. Seeing them argue with each other made them feel calmer and safer.

' I won't die!' They thought.

But now? They're raising suspicion again, by literally not doing anything??! How is this possible-

"- Well, it is true but, I don't know Red, Cyan has been pretty tired all day, and besides, Blue doesn't listen to us anymore, so it wouldn't matter anyway." You tried to reason. Yes, Cyan was acting a little different, being a little more shy than their normal self but come on now, everyone has their bad days! Maybe today they are not feeling really well….

You looked up at them, trying to show sympathy to your friend who you still thought was having some personal issues of their own.

"- Yeah! Exactly… Today has been pretty crazy! I think I just need some sleep.". Yeah, really crazy! Their body had hit an spaceship filled with free food, and then they had to disguise themselves as one of the humans inside so they could easily take one by one. But now? They're regretting each second of it! Stars, the anxiety eating them from inside is worse than being all alone in space.

Well, if they ever get out alive, they'll at least have some cool story to tell their own kind about…. If there is anyone waiting for them to return, that is.

"- Oh… That sucks buddy, but you got an point, I guess we all need to relax, and hey! Tomorrow is a new day right?" Red smiled at you two, offering a little bit of positive before you two went inside your rooms. Well, he offered a little bit of positive and a hug, to which you had gladly taken.

Although, Cyan was at first really confused about this gesture, so they stayed a little further away from the sign of affection.

"- Oh come on! Stop being a dork, come over here already!" Red said as he pulled Cyan into the tight hug. It was comforting but you couldn't lie that you felt sandwiched between the two, you tried to warn Red that you couldn't breathe, and Cyan was still panicking but now for a different reason.

Because of the helmet, their sense of smell has been limited considerably, yet by being so near to your bodies, they realized they could still take in your scent. Or maybe it was all the blood inside the suit? Who knows, they just knew that the idea of a next meal was absolutely mouthwatering, and they weren't even hungry! Maybe the idea of having a whole place filled with eleven people was starting to make them salivate uncontrollably, as a child having to wait until they can pick their next candy from the jar.

Maybe they could basket in your scent until they actually feel the need to consume another crewmate.

Red was the first to break the hug, but not before fussing your hair.

"- Well, that's my goodbye for today! I need to restore some energy before I can give you two more hugs!" He entered the door behind him, which lead to his room. An oddly well organized bedroom which was only a couple of steps before your own bedroom.

And after your bedroom, there was Cyan's bedroom.

He gave his last goodbyes before closing the door. You can't help but appreciate that dork, the endless bickering between you two was pretty fun in your opinion.

While turning your back you noticed that was Cyan looking straight at you this whole time, which caused you to squeak in surprise. God, they were way too close! And your hair is a mess!

"- Sooooo… I guess we're alone now, right?" You asked timidly, trying your best to make small talk which still came off pretty awkwardly. You avoided their gaze while trying to come up with what else to say.

"- Yes. Yes we are." Cyan said, their tone was unnaturally dark for their nature, yet when you noticed them approaching you closer, you realized what you said.

"- Oh! No, I didn't mean it like-" You tried to explain the the misunderstanding, thinking that Cyan was about to flirt back with you, even though your comment was purely without malice! You swear it!

"- No making out in the halls, ya love birds!" Red opened his door and screamed, with his smug little face.

"- Geez get a room you two!" Said Pink from the other side of the corridor, their voice being really faint because of the distance between you.

"- We were not, okay?!" You yelled hoping Pink would hear it.

"- Shhhh! Some of us are trying to sleep here!" Orange banged on her door while scolding all of you. Even though she herself was making a lot of noise.

"- S-Sorry!" You responded.

Cyan distanced themselves from you, fuck, every single one of them was hearing you two. Were they all listening to your whole conversation? How were they supposed to kill anyone if everyone is this spaceship is an gossip addict? Always listening for the next tea to be spilled.

While looking at your face they recognized that same hue popping off of your cheeks. Are you perhaps sick? Actually, now they have mentioned it- What would happen if they ate a sick human?

"- Your face is red." They mentioned nonchalantly.

"- Sigh… Yeah." You sigh defeated. What's the point of hiding something that is in your face?! Even if it's fainted, everyone can tell at this point. The only person you aren't sure if they know it yet is, well, Cyan themselves.

"- …"

"- …" An awkward silent start emerging from you two, until they ask:

"- Is it because of me?" Did they, I don't know, brought some sort of sickness aboard with them? Are you passing out? Should they be concerned that your meat could be possibly damaged because of this sickness?

Although their tone is really vague, you still interpreted the question as one of their flirtatious jokes. Truth is that Cyan loves going around flirting with everyone, even with you! And they know that this makes you flustered, so you can't tell if they do it because it's fun for them or if-

Or if they like you….. A little bit.

"- Oh no! You won't fool me this time, I know what you're up to!" You say dramatically, trying to change the conversation to have a more silly tone, yet your whole attempt was dismissed, because as soon as you said that, Cyan started shaking anxiously.

You knew? You knew?! Oh stars, they're done for! They're so dead now!

"- W-What?!" They scream, please don't hurt them, they were only hungry and trying to survive!

"- … Uhn, Cyan? I'm joking." You tell your really skittish friend. Geez they really were acting weird! Normally they would have returned your joke but they are acting so easily terrified!

Did something happen in electrical while you were away?

"- Cyan… Are you hurt? You never told me what happened when the blackout happened." You once again ask them if they were okay. What if… They are scared because of something that happened in electrical? What if… They saw something?

"- What? Oh, I'm- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to freak you out like that." They laugh realizing that you were only "joking" with them. Honestly, your jokes are going to be the death of them.

"- Are you okay tho-"

"- Yes, for the fifth time, I'm doing fine [Y/N]." They… Growled? What? Their sudden anger made you take some steps back, what just happened??

They didn't realize how their tone had come off, they needed to be more careful if they wanted to keep your trust. You… You look so distressed! Did they scared you that bad? If not, than why are you distancing yourself? Why are your eyes so… Watery?

"- I-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to…." And why were they apologising? Why does your frightened face cause such an intense feeling inside them? They were supposed to harvest your fear as an way to easily control the situation, but instead they can't help but pity your current state.

"- I've been, really stressed out, I didn't mean to yell." They say, half true, half lie. I mean, their first day is already being so strange and stressful, anyone would've expected them to end up blowing up at some point.

"- No! No, don't worry about it, I, sigh… Honestly I'm pretty stressed out myself. I guess I was so worried about you that I ended up bothering you with my questions." You say while guilt starts to form inside you. You haven't given them enough space, maybe you been pestering them too much.

To be honest, everyone was so on edge that you should have expected something like this happening, even from someone as chill as Cyan. Before you even considered finding a way to comfort them so you two could talk about it, Cyan was faster than you and had managed to trap you in their arms.

"- Hey, it's fine. Don't worry too much, I'm glad you're worried but I can reassure you, everything is okay."

It's an little awkward long hug, but you don't really mind, it's not as suffocating as Red's was. Oddly enough, Cyan wasn't being dishonest, but that fact only brought more confusion inside their mind.

"- Well… Goodnight Cyan, I'll see you tomorrow, kay?"

"- Yeah, sure…"

After some time spent looking at the ceiling waiting to see if everyone else had gone to sleep, Cyan had gotten out of their bed and started to unzip the space suit frantically.

Putting it on wasn't so hard, but getting out of it feels ten times worse now that they're sweating and tainted with the blood from the suit's previous owner. They don't need oxygen, but the feeling of suffocation inside that thing was starting to get over their heads. They needed something to cool down, anything!

So that's when the ventilation came into mind. The cold air coming from it was pleasant but not nearly enough for them, so they opened the top and got inside.

The cold air mixed with the cool metal touching their skin felt amazing compared to the heat and blood inside the suit. They need to remember to not only clean the suit, but to clean themselves very soon.

Without the helmet, their senses are so much better. They can hear and smell better, the vibrations passing through the ship helping them understand where they are and where they're going, as technically, they're kinda blind.

But who needs a great sight when they can easily smell and hear their prey from kilometers away? Speaking of which, the vents sure do help them a lot in that regard, as they can hear the soft breathing of all of your crewmates sleeping.

The smell of flesh is absolutely incredible! Just the thought makes their mouth water, maybe they deserve a little "midnight snack".

"- Eeny. meeny. miney. You!" They were deciding which one of your group should be the next, and the answer seemed pretty obvious, why not go to the nearest person?

It could lead to some issues with the other crewmates, but when they smelled your scent the need to enter your bedroom was way more important than considering the dangers of acting without thinking.

While entering your room as quietly as possible, they took a look around until they found your sleeping body almost falling from the bed. This is their chance!

Coming near you, savoring in your heavenly smell and dreaming what your taste is like, they-!... They stopped themselves from doing anything.

Your face is going to hit the floor if you continue to slowly slip from your bed.

You speak in your sleep sometimes. Not actual phrases, just occasional words. It's funny actually.

They poked your face multiple times out of curiosity. Were you awake or just dreaming? It seems like it's the latter.

You're still falling in slow motion. There is both the need to see what will happen next, and help you get back into bed.

They could just watch and see what happens. Besides, it is too dark for you to see them anyway.

Hmm… What should they do? Maybe they're wasting too much time by being here. They need to make a decision, it's to either kill you or to go back to their room.

After a couple of minutes of observing, another option has appeared, and they chose that one over the other options. They helped you get back into bed, hopefully you won't slip out again.

Maybe they should stay, just to guarantee you don't fall.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #sheep's stuff #yandere x reader #yandere among us #yandere among us x reader #yandere fanfics #yandere fanfic #yandere fanfiction #yandere short fanfiction #special delivery request #special delivery fanfiction #some danganronpa style of despair

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sweetsunflowerkisses · 3 years

Text

the library.

Pairing: Loki (MCU) x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst (??)

Warnings: Implied Character Death , Mentions of Loki’s faked death, Descriptions of falling?, Cannon Divergence, Making a bunch of shit up about Asgardian relationships and Asgardians in general? Angst, Bad writing TvT

Summary: In your final moments you reflect on your relationship with Loki and wish that you could be back at the library with him.

Word Count: 1.9k (It’s kinda short TvT)

a/n: I was rewatching Thor and the first avengers movie and this idea popped into my head and I kinda hate myself for writing it :D Also I’m working on Secret Identities Are Hard To Keep, I promise TvT

Falling. You had always wondered what it would feel like going from a height like this. It was almost euphoric, the wind pushing against your back as you fell, carrying your tears up with it. These were your final moments, you knew that, there was no surviving a fall from this height, not even with the strength provided by the asgardian blood that ran through your veins. So you did what most people did in their final moments, reflected on how you got here.

It all started centuries ago, in the golden palace on Asgard, the place where you were raised as a noble, your father being one of the Allfather’s most trusted advisers. Your memory of those years were riddled with the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, your only company being the vast array books in the palace library. You were lonely until the day you met him.

It was a day like any other, your father was tied up in various meetings with the Allfather and other important asgardians and like always you were camped out in the library. Through the years that you had spent here it had become your safe space and in the very back in a small corner was your place of happiness there was a small emerald chaise lounge with just the right amount of light and all of the books you had ever enjoyed stacked up around it. What you didn’t expect was for someone to already be occupying your oh so sacred spot.

He was stretched out on the lounge, his thin form but tall form draping over the edge a book in hand. You knew who he was of course, you were a noble after all, the dark prince, the forgotten prince, the boy that spent his years in his brother's shadow. In all of your 400+ years you don’t think you had ever seen him so peaceful, so you did what you usually did around people, you turned to leave. What you weren’t expecting was to feel the feather light touch of a hand on your wrist.

You looked up your eyes meeting his soft green ones. You wondered how he knew about this corner, about you and your time here, but pushed the thought aside as your gazes locked. There was something there, an unspoken understanding from one outsider to the other. He smiled softly, pulling a book out of seemingly nowhere and handing it to you wordlessly. You smiled in thanks and watched as he left, his green cape swaying behind him. And that was how it started.

You would have expected falling to be something that was over quickly yet it somehow seemed like the longest moment of your life. You knew you were getting closer though, you could see the tops of other buildings now, so as you waited you went back to thinking.

After that fateful meeting your relationship with the raven haired prince slowly started to change, for nearly fifty years the two of you would simply give each other books you thought the other would like, starting off wordlessly and eventually progressing into bigger and bigger conversations until the two of you would spend hours in the library together, animatedly talking about whatever book you were interested in that day, no doubt blowing off countless responsibilities your fathers had begun to place on you now that you were growing older.

It was around a hundred years after your first meeting that your relationship crossed from friendly conversations to stolen kisses and secret meetings. The two of you were around 500 and 600 now, both preparing for your futures. Loki trained to become both a warrior and a king, despite the limited possibility of him ascending to the throne, and you training alongside Her Majesty the Queen and other female nobles, preparing to become the perfect wife and partner for the next generation of Asgardian nobles. Yet you still found time for each other, spending as much time as you could together, only finding comfort in one another.

It was when the two of you hit 900 and 800 that Loki became consumed by his anger. It was in secret of course, as most of his emotions often were, but his emotions were always something you and you alone had the privilege of seeing. By now you and the pale prince were an official couple, Odin and Frigga having blessed the relationship, allowing Loki to court you and eventually allowing the two of you to biome some form of official, not married, but official enough to be allowed to share a bedchamber without getting odd looks.

In the past Loki had always confessed his anger to you, never allowing it to influence his actions, reveling in the catharsis he achieved by ranting to you as you played with his hair, but now, as he watched his arrogant brother become more and more loved by the people, as he watched his brother be promised the throne despite his hotheadedness and obsession with being a warrior, something within him snapped. Now he would yell for hours on end, often trashing your chambers, rather than his usual soft kisses that were full of love, his kisses were messy, needy and full of all the rage he could never show. It was in everything he did every emotion tainted by the anger that masked the true emotion. But you accepted him, every bit of him and so you did what you could. You matched his energy but also reminded him that you were still there, still there to give him new books, still there to play with his hair and still there for him to lean on.

As you fell your thoughts wandered back to the present, you were nearly there, you could hear the screams below, and you could see the chitauri army and the chaos that they brought with them. You could see the faint outline of Iron Man landing on the tower and your thoughts once again returned to Loki and everything that brought you here.

After the exile of Thor and the era of Loki as King you thought maybe everything would stop, the looks and the whispers that everyone would finally stop treating Loki like he was just a liar and a danger, you yearned for and prayed for the return of the Loki you fell in love with. You were distraught when Thor returned, telling you that Loki’s ascension to the throne was all based on lies, that he had been responsible for the frost giants that had gotten in the palace, that he had tried to kill his friends, that he had tried to kill his brother. And that he was now plotting something far worse. Somehow, as much as you didn’t want to, you knew it was true, but despite everything you knew that your feelings wouldn’t change. So you fought Thor, or at least tried, not being able to actually bring yourself to deal any damage to the god, too overwhelmed with the truth of it all, so you ran. You ran back to the place where it all started, back to the library, back to your corner of safety.

You found out he was dead the next day, Thor sought you out to tell you himself, yet somehow there was the nagging feeling in the back of your brain that Thor was wrong, and boy were you right.

It was 2012 when he finally resurfaced, you had spent most of your days hiding from the asgardian population, from the prying eyes of everyone who figured you had something to do with the events of the previous year. You were once again faced with the fact that your feelings remained unchanged for him, that despite the reality of what he was doing, trying to enslave a whole population you would still do anything for him. It was Heimdall who alerted you of his return, but it was the Queen who convinced you to go to him, to try and bring back the love that you had spent nearly 600 of your years devoted to. So you did.

You landed on the rooftop of Stark Tower, admiring the pretty pattern the bifrost has burned into the gravel. It wasn’t long before Loki found you, after all the Bifrost was kinda hard to miss. It was emotional for you, seeing the man you loved after spending so long thinking he might be dead. You approached him slowly, he rushed to you in return, overjoyed at the sight of you, telling you of his grand plan, inviting you to join him, to be his queen, to rule over Midgard with him. It was tempting and for a moment, just a single moment you considered it. But you refused, nearly begging him to stop the madness, to return to you, attempting to reassure him that no matter what you would still be there, that you would still love him despite the things he’d done in the past few years. You told him how that while you didn’t quite understand everything that you could listen and love him, that you would give him everything the world never did. Yet, it was when you looked up into his eyes that you realised that something was truly wrong, that your prince might truly be gone, rather than the normal green that usually stared down at you a piercing blue met your gaze.

You backed up slowly, this was the man you loved yes but there was something else in him too, something that was evil and corrupting, something you were sure would infect you too if you joined him. And it was backing up that had been your mistake, the platform on top of Stark Tower was by no means small but you had simply landed too close to the edge, and as you stepped back you felt nothing and you began to fall.

Loki lunged, moving faster than he ever had, just barely grasping your left hand in time. And you watched as his eyes flickered in between his green and the unnatural blue and that's when you realised, he was scared. But you were slipping and his grip simply wasn’t enough. You smiled softly, knowing what was going to happen next, tears beginning to stream down your face, and with your last words you simply whispered “I love you.”.

You fell, leaving Loki only clutching air, but then he felt something else as his fist closed around the air where your hand had just been. He knew what it was almost immediately and looked down to find the gold band with a single emerald in it sat in his hand. The ring that had adorned your ring finger for the past three years, the proof that despite it all you loved him. And you smiled.

You knew it was the end now, the sound of cars and people louder than before, and you wondered what would have happened if you hadn’t been in the library that day. With your very last moments you imagined yourself on the emerald chaise, surrounded by books with Loki on your lap, playing with his hair as he read to you and you smiled for the last time

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