#also i have so many ideas for more music choices so this is definitely getting more content
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melioristicbeast · 2 days ago
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So while I know Stiles canonically is probably a classic rock guy going by his shirts (although you cannot tell me the kid doesn't jam out to lady gaga's the fame monster), are you really in a fandom unless you project aspects of yourself onto characters?
Specifically an unhinged case of 'will listen to absolutely anything' taste in music - I'm the 'never pass the AUX cord' in my friend group.
The song in question (that i had on repeat enough one year that it was on my spotify wrapped) :
youtube
I just quite like the idea of Stiles zoning out to some strange beats :)
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neptuneiris · 1 year ago
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could you pretend to be in love? (02/10)
The Contract
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: there is no turning back now and now you and Aemond set the rules and conditions to start the whole farce.
word count: 4.6k
previous part • next part • series masterlist
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🥳
I thought this would be a very nice way to wish happy new year to all of you beautiful people who support me and like what I write, you don't know how much that means to me🥺
thank you for so much support and for so much love, I have loved being here and I definitely plan to stay for longer, seeing how that love evolves and my place here as a writer🥰 so enjoy a lot this new chapter that I really hope you like it a lot❤
many blessings to all of you, my best wishes for your lives in this 2024, I love you all so much!😊❤
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enjoy!
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It's the first thing you see after turning off the alarm and you curiously enter to read the recent messages from an unknown number, not having the slightest idea of who it might be.
But you let out a long sigh of frustration when you read them and see that it's Aemond, who you don't understand how the fuck he got your number. Of course, it shouldn't have been hard for him, just a few questions and anyone can tell him what he wants to know.
And knowing that you have a long day ahead of you today, you already feel the pressure all over your body when you haven't even left your bed, where you also feel the frustration and all this uncertainty that you thought you had already overcome, but no.
You barely accepted yesterday and suddenly putting the plan into action from one day to the next, it's too much. But without really having a choice, you reluctantly force yourself to get up and start getting ready.
After an hour, you leave your house with the nagging feeling of carrying a weight on your shoulders to school. And all the way there, not even the music in your ears can make your mind calm down for a moment.
Knowing very soon that your whole social life will be a mess and you will no longer be invisible, since after all Aemond was right in that respect, causes you even more uneasiness and also nervousness because you are going to pretend to be the girlfriend of the most popular guy in school.
And once the bus makes its stop, you soon enter the halls of the bustling school. And knowing that a certain silver-haired guy is waiting for you right now, every heavy step you take towards the schoolyard echoes loudly in your ears, increasing your nervousness and anxiety.
You're even tempted to back up and tell him to forget it, but you resist and keep moving forward.
As you walk through the huge doors of the backyard, it's only a matter of time before you make out the figure of Aemond sitting at the same table as yesterday in the distance. Your heart skips a beat and you feel more nervous, but gathering your courage and taking a long breath, you advance towards him, ready but with uncertain steps.
Every step seems heavy, as if you are walking into the unknown and you try to hide the nerves in your gaze, especially when Aemond notices your presence. He watches you and slowly turns to you, a subtle smile on his lips.
Again there is that feeling of telling him to forget it, to find someone else, that you can't do this. But... your mind stops you and screams at you not to be silly, that at the end of it all there will be a reward, a very good reward that getting it by faking a relationship with him, is nothing.
And it's definitely worth it.
So resigned, you reach out to him.
"Hey," he says to you without wiping off his little smile, as you take a seat in front of him and he waits for you to finish settling in, "So you've come."
"Don't bother me," you tell him without humor, definitely contrasting his mood to yours.
"Now what did I do?"
"That," you point to his face, "You're enjoying this, seeing that I haven't backed out."
"Oh, please, I actually thought you wouldn't come and tell me to fuck off after you thought better of it," he justifies himself.
"Yeah? Well, nothing a free admission to your dream college won't do," you say with a slightly sarcastic tone, though implicitly admitting your reasons, "And it's actually not like I like skipping classes, so could we get this started?"
Aemond exhales long, averting his gaze from yours for a moment before returning to watching you.
"You know you'll have to be charming and act like you're completely in love with me in public, right?" he poses, expectantly.
"Yes, I know... in public," you point out to him, "Just now no one knows we're 'dating' genius," you add, underlining the falsity of the situation.
He places a small, amused, smirk on his lips.
"Yet."
He adds with a slightly defiant tone and you roll your eyes.
"Don't get too excited either."
"Are you not?"
"Oh yeah, I can't handle the excitement," you feign in a high-pitched, ironic voice, making exaggerated hand gestures.
Aemond lets out a short but genuine laugh at your gesture. He leans back slightly, his eye revealing a mischievous glint as he watches you.
"Glad to see you're keeping your sense of humor in this," he says with his tone changing slightly to a more relaxed one.
"I don't have much choice, do I?" you reply, accepting his change of mood, but still maintaining a certain emotional distance.
You figure it's just a matter of the two of you getting more into trust, and if you're going to do this with him, you're definitely going to do your part. But for now, this is still a little awkward and unexpected. And the sooner you do this, the better it will be for you.
So you shift your focus and lean forward slightly with a more serious expression on your face.
"So let's get started?"
"Well, making a contract will take up a lot of our time, so I thought it would be easier to just say and agree between us-
"It will be easier this way, to write down and establish the rules and the conditions we want to do during all this, just to have everything clear and not miss anything, Aemond," you interrupt him, taking out a notebook and a pen to start writing.
"Okay, fine," he says, shrugging his shoulders.
"So?" you watch him expectantly with the blank sheet of paper in front of you and your pen in hand, "What do you suggest first?"
"Well... first we need to know when this will all end," he begins to say, adopting a relaxed but firm stance, "And I would say that it may end when it is no longer necessary for both of you to continue pretending. But I think it's a better idea for us to last until graduation."
He proposes, looking at you intently, waiting for your reaction and you can't help but be a little surprised to hear that.
"Until graduation?" you repeat and he nods, "But you really want to do this for almost five months?"
"I know it's a long time, but that time can be beneficial for both of us," he explains, "That's enough time to give our relationship credibility and authenticity and it's also enough time to handle any problems that arise."
He says and you nod cautiously, evaluating his words.
"But if you disagree, tell me," he hurries to say.
His calm tone and your reasons contrast with the uncertainty and indecision you feel. And the two of you have barely started.
Five months is such a compromising situation and it generates some concern, because you know you will face so many things you still have no idea about and every day it could become more complicated to maintain the farce.
"I guess it's okay," you cautiously admit, trying to see the big picture, "But I feel like it's still a long time. But also reducing that time might not be enough," you agree.
"Yes but I'm sure we can handle it. And don't worry, if at some point we feel it's too much or we don't have enough reason to keep pretending anymore, we can talk iand end it."
You remain pondering, considering his words and after a few seconds you nod in agreement, and write it down as the first point on the sheet. But this alone is the first piece of a much more complicated puzzle.
1. Duration of relationship: Until graduation.
And Aemond also brings up the next point of the contract, expressing his ideas with quiet but evident assurance.
"Now, second..." he begins, "As for behavior in public, we should genuinely show affection in the hallways, cafeteria, and at any school activity and event. In a relationship people don't take their hands off each other, so we should smile at each other, hug each other, make subtle gestures, hold hands-
"Don't say kissing, please," you interrupt him, pleading, taking him by surprise.
"Of course, Y/N," he tells you instantly, incredulous, "Obviously we'll have to kiss."
As if having to act completely in love with him and be every moment touching him isn't enough. But the idea of kissing seems a bit much to you.
"I agree about showing affection and all that, but that kissing thing might be awkward and... weird," you say, trying to be sincere but not seeming completely closed off to the idea.
Aemond looks at you incredulously.
"So you don't want us to kiss?"
"I don't think it's necessary, honestly."
"Are you crazy? How are we supposed to pretend if we're not going to kiss? No one's going to believe us if we don't kiss and that's what will literally make the whole relationship believable," he insists, visibly concerned.
"Yeah, I get that it might seem necessary, but...at least I don't want to be having to kiss you every single time."
"You don't want to kiss me?" he asks you, visibly surprised, confused and... maybe a little hurt?
You watch him silently for a moment not understanding his reaction and then watch him with a small amused smile.
"I'm not one of your fans, Targaryen."
"Oh come on, everyone wants to kiss me," he says confused and incredulous, proving his point.
"Even the guys?"
"Well... yeah, I don't know, maybe some of them," he says with a shrug.
"Seven Hells," you mutter, averting your gaze for a moment, "I-I really don't want to do that," you say, speaking seriously and then you let out a sigh, "But you're right that no one's going to believe us-
"Obviously. I always have," he is quick to say.
"So my proposal is this... we'll kiss, yes, but only when it's extremely necessary, and when I say extremely necessary I mean extremely necessary."
You watch him intently, keeping yourself willing with your proposal, waiting for his opinion, which judging by his face, he doesn't quite agree with.
"And what would those extremely necessary moments be exactly?" he inquires, attentive and interested, also still looking slightly worried.
"In the cafeteria or in the hallways when everyone is obviously looking at us and we're attracting attention. Just don't abuse it."
Aemond lets out a long breath.
"Well, let's limit them to extremely necessary moments," he finally says resignedly and you quickly note the second point.
2. Behavior in public: Show affection as genuinely as possible in public, such as gestures, hugs, and holding hands. KISSING ONLY WHEN EXTREMELY NECESSARY.
"But then that second point is also going to apply to the parties you'll be going to with me and my lacrosse games you'll be going to."
You quickly raise your gaze to him.
"What?"
"Yes," he nods, "Going to the parties together will also lend credibility to the relationship and obviously we have to be very close to each other. And it's the same in my games, you must go to support and encourage me, like any girlfriend in love with her boyfriend would."
Aemond's words provoke an instant reaction in you, that confusing you and taking you by surprise.
"But I don't go to parties."
"Now you will," he says with a calm expression, reaching out his hand and taking the pen and your notebook.
"But-
He is already writing in a section further down the sheet which he lists as; 'additional conditions'.
Parties.
Lacrosse games.
"Aemond, I'm not a big fan of parties, really," you insist, "You'll have a bad time if you take me with you and I'll probably ruin everything."
"Don't worry, I'll teach you the trick to having a good time and change that mentality you have. Besides I won't take you to every party, just a few," he assures you, "All while keeping up appearances," he hands you back your notebook and pen, "With me you'll never get bored, I promise," he says with a small smile on his lips.
You let out a sigh, placing the notebook back in front of you, still undecided.
"Yes? Well, we'll see about that. I warned you though."
He lets out a soft little laugh.
"Come on Y/N, you can't be that bad."
"I assure you I can be."
"And so what do you do for fun?" he asks you, keeping his smile, curiosity evident in his gaze.
And there it is, the question that totally describes your personality and that in fact you don't like to answer to just anyone, because then they call you boring. But you can't lie to Aemond, he is astute enough and would notice.
So you decide to be honest.
"I like to read," you reply, lowering your gaze and feeling slightly embarrassed, "And I love going to the movies or watching movies and shows at home, either one is totally fine with me. Oh... and... hm... I also like ice skating, although I don't do that as often but... it's something I like too."
And even though it's only a bit of the world of things you like, Aemond listens to you attentively with a soft expression, saying nothing afterwards, as if he's processing every word you've said, while you only feel more embarrassed by the silence.
You know there's nothing wrong with it but it always made you insecure to share your hobbies, mostly because you know that many girls your age enjoy their teenage years going out with friends to parties and getting drunk.
That didn't and doesn't appeal to you now. You have long been more comfortable with the idea of staying home or going out somewhere else instead of going to parties.
It's not as if you don't attend or avoid every social event, yes you can attend and have a good time depending on who you are with and where, but not as often as every weekend.
However, you understand and recognize the logic behind Aemond's suggestion and that is that attending parties, is essential. And just as he is about to finally speak, you do so first.
"I know they are simple things and are not very exciting for most people. I also know they can be very boring but for me... that's what I like," you shyly confess.
"Hm," he says, taking a small moment, watching you softly, only causing you even more embarrassment, "Well, that's not what I was going to say," he says, catching your attention, "Sometimes it is the simple things that mean the most to everyone and, being honest... I find them interesting," he adds, trying to evaporate any awkwardness and embarrassment you might feel.
You raise your gaze, meeting his bright blue eye watching you softly and with his gaze full of genuine understanding, along with that hint of curiosity. And that gets your attention too.
He's not judging you. And even though it's not something he would do or at least hasn't tried to do yet, he's not judging you for it and you see that genuine interest in his gaze.
"Tell you what, for every party you go to with me, I'll read one of your favorite books or a movie or shows you want me to watch," he says, picking up the notebook and pen again.
"What?" you look at him confused, unable to help but smile in bewilderment, "Are you serious?"
"You must set your own conditions too," he states as he writes, "I already dragged you into my world, so now you're dragging me into yours," he looks up at you, "What do you think? Is it a fair exchange or not?"
His proposal takes you by surprise and also confuses you a little, however, the small smile remains on your face.
The genuine expression of openness on his face and the determination with which he wrote definitely makes you feel more comfortable. His willingness to immerse himself in your interests was not something you had agreed upon from the beginning, nor is it something extremely necessary to fake a relationship.
But it's for the simple reason that you both feel comfortable if you're going to pretend for almost five months and it seems like a nice gesture from him to include it, something you honestly didn't expect from him.
And when he gives you back your notebook, you see the new rule under 'additional conditions'.
For every party Y/N goes to with me, I will read a book or watch one of her favorite movies or shows.
"Yes," you nod, "Sounds like a fair deal to me."
Aemond smiles, pleased with your answer and also seeing the expression on your face.
"Great. We'll see if I discover something new I like. And you too..." he points at you with his index finger, "You won't regret it after you have a great time at my parties," he says enthusiastically, with a sort of complicity in his tone.
"Well, we'll see if you manage to impress me."
And right there, the two of you exchange complicit glances, Aemond having that little smile on his lips while you don't understand this strange new alliance the two of you are building.
But even though you didn't expect it, it's definitely to your liking.
"Now, third..." you point to the notebook with your pen, "Reinforcing the second rule, public appearance," you say, observing him, "We must act as a committed and attentive couple to each other at school and to these parties you want us to go to."
Aemond nods determinedly, thoughtfully.
"Yes, commitment at all times," he states seriously.
"So, that also means that neither of us can be with other people for the duration of all this, not even secretly," you add, making the point clear.
"And you want to write that as a rule too? It's obvious that neither of us should-
"I'll write it as the fourth rule, just to be clear about everything as I told you."
"Oh, fine."
3. Public appearance: Act like a real couple in love, be committed and attentive to each other at school and social events.
4. No involvement with other girls/guys: No casual encounters or texting with anyone else for the duration of the fake relationship.
"Oh and also..." says Aemond, reminding, "Since we're at that point, on additional conditions write that we should both upload photos and videos together on our social media. It's another way to lend credibility to our relationship."
"Photos and videos together on our social media," you repeat, looking at the notebook.
And this catches Aemond's attention.
"Don't tell me you don't use your social media," he says beginning to sound alert and concerned.
"No, no, I-I mean, yes," you hasten to say, "It's just... I don't know, I most likely don't use them as often as you do, besided I have very few followers."
"Don't worry, whatever followers you have are fine. Besides, I'm sure they'll increase when I upload my first photo with you."
You roll your eyes with an amused smile.
"Okay, Mr. Popularity."
"And speaking of that, hand me your Instagram and all your networks," he says instantly, grabbing his cell phone from his front pocket, "We better have that all figured out now."
Obviously Aemond's accounts had to be public while you maintain your privacy, with barely thirteen hundred followers while he has almost the entire school following him and probably from other schools as well.
In fact, your numbers compared to his are embarrassing. But you never really had the interest of having more followers on Instagram or more friends on Facebook, Snapchat is the same and apparently that doesn't matter to Aemond.
Upload photos and videos together to our social media.
"And well, I also think another very important thing is to maintain privacy," you suggest, lifting your gaze to watch him and Aemond gives you a confused look.
"Do you really want to write that down too? It's obvious we can't tell anyone-
"Let me enjoy this, Aemond. It's actually fun and I want to write it all down. So act serious," you ask.
He lets out a choked laugh.
"Well, yes, we must be discreet, no one must know that all this is false, only we know the truth and we must keep it that way," he says and you excitedly write it down.
"We mustn't involve our families in this either," you add, watching him intently, "But that will be difficult because your siblings are here," you grimace.
"We can keep up the farse with them for a while too, I'll convince them not to say anything to my mother or the rest of my family. And once everyone here at school is convinced enough, I'll tell the truth only to them," he say sure and confident, solving the problem.
"And you're sure you'll manage to keep them that way?"
"Yeah," he says with a shrug, "They're my siblings. I know how it works with each one."
5. Maintain privacy: Tell absolutely no one about the fake relationship or involve each other's families in it.
"Oh, right, I almost forgot..." Aemond says as he points to what is already written, "You must also go on each year's trip to Dragonstone with me. That's another additional condition of mine."
"What?" you inquire again, surprised and confused.
"Yes, the trip to Dragonstone," he affirms.
Oh God, the trip to Dragonstone.
Dragonstone is an island not far from King's Landing, where there is an ancient castle with a lot of history but has been modernized with the same name and is open to every visitor.
The school makes an annual trip for educational purposes as the castle has relics and structuring from thousands of years ago. You have seen pictures and videos where everything looks really beautiful, ancestral and almost royalty.
In addition the castle offers other activities, such as rides on its huge luxury yachts, surfing, diving and swimming lessons.
You always had the spirit to go but have always known that the trip is anything but educational. You've heard stories that happen with the students, such as getting drunk, partying on the yachts, hot tubs and obviously you've heard stories of who slept with whom.
Even the most reserved get to have fun and it's not something you're interested in. You know you don't fit in that environment, especially since everyone has to share a room and you're sure that if you go, you'll have to share a room with girls with different tastes and perspectives than yours. They probably won't even let you sleep.
"Come on Y/N, you've never been to Dragonstone?" asks Aemond incredulously, noting the grimace on your face for wanting you to go there with him.
"Well, yeah I've wanted to go but... I-I, I don't know, I've heard that instead of learning about the place, everyone goes to having fun, they party, they get drunk and I-I don't...
"And what do you expect us to do in a modern castle on the shore of the beach with yachts and hot tubs?" he inquires again, expectantly, "The trip is planned for the middle of the last month of these five months and you can't let me go alone with the things that go on in that place."
You make your grimace more visible, revealing your clear indecision. And even though you and Aemond have been at odds lately over the matter of tastes, he still places a soft smile in your direction, understanding that you are not like him and prefer to do other things.
"Look, you don't have to go to the parties and drink if you don't want to," he starts to tell you, "But we can at least go to one of the parties on the yachts and then do the activities they offer on site, swimming, diving and all that," he proposes, "We'll take pictures, tour the castle and we'll both be equally satisfied."
You ponder for a moment, considering his proposal. You know you only have to get your father's signature on the permit to be able to go to the island and it's not like you've gone before so... you can do it now.
"Well, I guess that's fine," you nod, "But really promise you won't leave me alone and we'll take the time to do other activities that aren't related to partying on yachts and hot tubs."
"Please, we'll go as a couple, so of course I won't leave you alone. You'll be stuck with me," he assures you, "And I also promise you that we'll do other activities, not just the parties."
"And..." you start to say, in a serious, warning tone, "Also promise you'll pick me up every morning to bring me to school. That's another one of my additional conditions. The bus isn't very comfortable anymore."
He nods, shrugging, completely unconcerned.
"Sure, it's no problem. Besides it will make the relationship more credible," he says softly.
Despite your doubts, you feel a sense of relief at seeing and acknowledging his commitment. And you also feel more confident knowing that you have his support in all of this, even in your conditions. So you write down the two new additional conditions.
Drive Y/N every morning to school.
Dragonstone trip.
At the end you both sign the sheet, looking honestly ridiculous but being funny, then both seal the whole contract by shaking hands.
"So when do we start all this?" you ask him, putting away your notebook and pen.
"I say tomorrow," he gives you a look of understanding, "But we need to talk now during classes in the hallways or in the cafeteria, so that when they see us together tomorrow, it won't be so surprising and will seem more believable."
You give him an unsure look.
"I think it will still be very surprising, Aemond."
"It doesn't matter, we just have to start showing together today, just talking. But tomorrow is when we really start."
And just as he says those words, with that determination, you feel again those nerves in your lower abdomen and that insecurity. But at least you still have all day today to mentally prepare yourself, and you're grateful for that.
"And before I forget this too..." he says again, "I need you to send me all your academic information to work on your college application now," he tells you seriously and you watch him completely attentively, "The five months will go by fast and during that time college applications will start. So it's best to get it all in now."
At this, you feel your heart start to beat fast and you don't know why, you guess because it's a very important issue for you. And more than anything else it's the reason you agreed to do this with him.
"Yeah, yeah, sure," you say softly, "I-I'll email it all to you."
He smiles softly in your direction.
"Very well," he nods at you, "I'll text you my email."
Despite your slight doubts about whatever is going to happen next, the idea of starting a fake relationship leaving you with a knot in your stomach and feeling your emotions mixed, you know this will all be worth a try.
So you pick up your phone and you start to write in an email all your personal and academic information. While at the same time all is said and done and the fake relationship contract is over.
THE CONTRACT
Duration of relationship: Until graduation.
Behavior in public: Show affection as genuinely as possible in public, such as gestures, hugs, and holding hands. KISSING ONLY WHEN EXTREMELY NECESSARY.
Public appearance: Act like a real couple in love, be committed and attentive to each other at school and social events.
No involvement with other girls/guys: No casual encounters or texting with anyone else for the duration of the fake relationship.
Maintain privacy: Tell absolutely no one about the fake relationship or involve each other's families in it.
ADDITIONAL CONDITIONS
Parties.
Lacrosse games.
For every party Y/N goes to with me, I will read a book or watch one of her favorite movies or shows.
Upload photos and videos together to our social media.
Drive Y/N every morning to school.
Dragonstone trip.
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general taglist
@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff
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hyuckiefluff · 2 years ago
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tease | lee haechan
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pairing: lee haechan x f!reader genre: enemies-ish to lovers, college au word count: 5.8k+ summary: Playing spin the bottle definitely wasn't what you had envisioned for your first college party. And the last person you expected to see was Lee Haechan. But life has a funny way of throwing surprises at you, and this time it came in the form of the bottle landing on some drunk dude who dared you to kiss Haechan. warnings: oral (m receiving), fngering, cursing, drinking, hc calls reader princess a/n: rushed this one a bit to post it on time for haechan’s bday :D i hope you enjoy! and happy birthday my haechan ilysm baby! - i recommend listening to sweat by zayn while reading
m.list
"New girl… what was your name... oh right.. Y/N” the guy's words stumbled out of his mouth, clearly too many drinks deep into the night. He was trying so hard to formulate a single coherent thought, but his speech was all over the place. And there you sat, legs crossed, waiting for whatever command he was about to throw at you.
"You should, ehm... uh… oh I know… you should kiss the person in front of you," he slurred, barely able to keep his eyes open.
You tensed up when the words left his mouth. You expected having to kiss someone in this game but you weren’t all that excited or open to the idea. Sure, you could've just taken a shot and avoided the whole ordeal, but you had already declined way too many requests and had knocked back enough shots for the night. Plus, your friend had disappeared into the crowd a while ago, leaving you to fend for yourself. You didn't want to push your drinking limit any further.
But honestly, the mere thought of kissing anyone at that moment felt too awkward. You didn't know a single person in this circle, and the boys surrounding you seemed ready to pounce at the opportunity. The uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach grew stronger. And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, someone sauntered into the circle, nudging the guy who had been in front of you aside, without a single word of protest. It was as if the universe itself conspired to make the situation even more complicated because there he was, in all his glory, Lee Haechan.
Let me give you a short backstory. Haechan was one of your brother's closest friends, and you practically grew up with him. Well, maybe "in his shadow" is a more accurate description. His larger-than-life personality always overshadowed your shy self whenever you were in the same room. And there was also the teasing. Haechan took great pleasure in getting under your skin. While most of your brother's friends ignored you, Haechan found it amusing to embarrass you at every opportunity. He'd mock your fashion choices and poke fun at your taste in music. Basically, anything he could find that was worthy of a good tease, he'd go for it. Sure, you'll admit that you were a bit of an awkward kid back then, spending most of your time holed up in your room, jamming out to some obscure indie band, and wearing some questionable outfits (you can totally blame your mom for that until you turned 13). 
Anyway, let's just say Lee Haechan wasn't exactly the friendliest face in your memory bank.
It’s been two whole years since you last laid eyes on him, and you honestly thought you'd never have to see him again. Your big brother mentioned that Haechan went off to "some college" out of town, so you assumed your paths would never cross. But your brother also conveniently forgot to mention the crucial detail that Haechan had actually managed to get into your top-choice university. Yes, the very same one you had been raving about since the idea of higher education even entered your mind. Thank you for the heads up, big bro.
Now you were sitting here, about to lose your mind because the first time you’re meeting Haechan after all this time, you're being dared to kiss him...in front of all these people too. There was no way you could do this. Your hesitance was impossible to hide, and everyone seemed to notice. But Haechan, being Haechan, couldn't resist making a comment about it. Of course.
“She won’t do it.” He said, taking a casual sip from his drink. 
Though he pretty much spoke your thoughts out loud, you still paused and looked at him raising an eyebrow. You would've shrugged it off, but there was no way you were going to let Haechan continue teasing you like that in college. You were too grown and fed up to allow him to treat you that way.
“And why won’t she?” You asked, crossing your arms.
He chuckled “Because she doesn’t have it in her.” He said the words slowly to taunt you. 
Maybe it was the fact that he was talking as if you weren’t in the room, or that he seemed so sure that you were too much of a coward to kiss him but before you could stop yourself you started crawling up to him. The circle of people around you suddenly more interested in your every move. Now you were kneeling in between Haechan’s sprawled legs, so close to his face that you could smell the mix of alcohol with his cologne. He put down his drink, the look of bore left his eyes and he perked up a little at your sudden closeness. Without giving yourself time to cower away you closed the distance between your lips. You didn’t miss the slight flinch of surprise he gave when your lips touched, he really wasn’t expecting you to go through with it.
Haechan would sooner be caught dead than admit it but he really enjoyed getting a rise out of you. It gave him this weird rush whenever he saw you getting all flustered or even a little pissed off. Sure, you were usually the shy and soft-spoken type, but deep down, there was a side to you that had some fight in it. It wasn't something you showed to just anyone, but he had managed to bring it out of you on more than one occasion.
He never in a million years expected seeing you at this party. It had been a while since he even thought about you. So, when he spotted you in the crowd, he was completely caught off guard. He watched you intently all night, trying to figure out if it was actually you. It hadn't been that long since he last saw you, but there was something distinctly different about you. You were engaged in lively conversations, your laughter floating through the air. It was a stark contrast to the image he had of you in his head.
He only remembers how reserved you were, back then you weren't able to have a full conversation with him or even hold eye contact. So, when he ended up sitting in front of you, teasing you like he always did, he never expected you to do anything more than maybe give him some attitude and walk away. But man, did you flip the script on him.
Before Haechan could even process what was happening, there you were, on your knees in front of him. His attention instinctively went to your tongue darting across your lips, that simple action getting him way too excited. Before he had a chance to react, your lips were already on his. The kiss started off slow, like a cautious test drive. Haechan could tell you weren't exactly planning to go this far, he could sense that hint of hesitance in your every move.
This wasn't the kind of kiss he usually went for. He liked them rough, the kind that leaves you breathless. But, there was something about you taking charge that had him intrigued. Even though it was a simple kiss with no crazy fireworks, it managed to get both your hearts racing.
Your hands went to his chin to keep him in place while your lips fumbled in a slow rhythm that had Haechan going kinda crazy inside. He had to fight hard to keep his cool, resisting the urge to grab you and kiss you back as hard as he wanted to. His hands stayed glued to the floor. He was scared that if he touched you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself, and also because his palms were suddenly a sweaty mess and he doubted you’d like that.
You tilted his head back a bit causing his mouth to slack open. With this new access, your tongue shyly ventured into his mouth, as if following an instinctive cue. Haechan also took a chance and nibbled on your lower lip, causing a soft whimper to escape your lips. The sound made his whole body tense up. Your hands roamed from his chin to the back of his head, testing the waters by gently tugging on his hair. That's when an involuntary grunt slipped out of Haechan's mouth, snapping you both back to reality.
As you pulled away, his eyes slowly fluttered open. Yours immediately darted to his slightly swollen lips, tinged with the color of your lipstick. Acting on some unknown impulse, you brushed your thumb against his lips wiping off the lipstick. He glanced at your finger and then met your gaze again, his eyes filled with an intensity that made your breath hitch. You said nothing and wiped the remnants of lipstick from your finger onto his clean white undershirt, all while maintaining unwavering eye contact. 
You stood up, trying not to make it too obvious that your legs were weaker than before. Seeing the slightly shocked and amused faces of everyone around you would’ve scared younger you into running away but you didn’t feel intimidated at all. 
"I'm gonna grab a new drink," you announced, giving Haechan one final glance before making your way out.
Of course, you didn't actually head to the drinks table like you said you would. Instead, you dashed straight for the bathroom, your heart racing like a herd of wild horses. Closing the door behind you and allowing yourself a moment to process everything that just happened and pretty much freak out.
"Have you lost your damn mind, Y/N?" you scolded your reflection in the mirror, the harsh reality staring right back at you. Disheveled hair, smudged lipstick, and that dazed look in your eyes, mirroring the same one that Haechan had after the kiss. Letting out a heavy sigh, you rested your hands on the edge of the sink, reluctantly admitting to yourself that the kiss wasn't half bad. Who would've thought? Haechan, your tormentor, sure knew how to kiss. His lips felt downright amazing against yours, and the taste…  a mix of alcohol with a subtle sweetness that lingered on your lips, intoxicating your thoughts as you unconsciously replayed the moment over and over in your mind.
But before you could fully immerse yourself, the bathroom door swung open with a force, causing you to yelp in surprise. In your mortification, you had completely forgotten to lock the damn door. Oh, how you wished you had because to your horror, the intruder turned out to be none other than Haechan himself. His surprise at finding you in the bathroom was evident, though you couldn't help but wonder if he had followed you all the way here.
"You could've found a better hiding spot, you know," he jeered, leaning casually against the wall, his eyes meeting yours through the mirror's reflection.
"I wasn't hiding, Haechan. Can't a girl have some privacy in the bathroom?" you fired back.
"Sorry, it's just that you looked a little frustrated when you left, princess," he taunted, his words dripping with a mixture of amusement and something else you couldn't quite put your finger on.
"Quit calling me that" you shot back, irritation lacing your voice.
Haechan merely shrugged, his teasing smile still intact. "You're right. A princess doesn't run away like that after a kiss," he continued to taunt, enjoying the effect his words had on you.
"I didn't run away," you retorted, trying to maintain your composure. "But I don't need to explain myself to you anyway, so get out, Donghyuck," you said, turning around to face him with a glare.
His teasing demeanor faltered for a moment, a flicker of genuine surprise crossing his face at the use of his actual name. "Wow, it's been a while since anyone called me that. I like the way you say it," he admitted, attempting to lighten the mood. However, seeing your unamused expression, he raised his hands in surrender. "Come on, the kiss wasn't even that bad. You don't have to be embarrassed. Though it was so short, I couldn't really judge it properly."
"Pity, because you're never gonna get another chance," you replied, determination seeping into your voice as you turned your back to him.
Haechan studied you silently, his gaze fixed on your figure. There was a brief pause, a moment where the air between you seemed to thicken with anticipation. Slowly, he closed the distance between you, his proximity making you grip the edges of the sink tighter. He position his hands next to yours, his larger frame enveloping yours. Through the reflection in the mirror, his eyes locked onto yours. 
With a hushed voice, he leaned in close to your ear, his warm breath grazing your skin as he whispered, "We'll see about that."
The weight of his words hung in the air as he held your gaze for a moment longer. Then, with one final look, he pulled away, leaving you alone with your racing thoughts.
~~
A few days went by until you saw Haechan again at another party. It was insane how quickly you were getting invited to these things. Your social life went from zero to a hundred really quick. Things were finally looking up, and you were having a blast, making more friends along the way.
But of course, there he was—Haechan, lurking in the shadows like some lingering ghost. It felt like he was always in your peripheral vision, pretending he wasn't staring at you. Seriously, why couldn't he just go away? You made up your mind that finding someone else to hang out with would be the perfect way to shake off his annoying presence. Preferably someone who didn't get a kick out of teasing you mercilessly.
Just when you were mulling over your thoughts, a smooth voice broke through the noise from behind you. "Hey there, what's a beautiful girl like you doing all alone?"
You turned to face him and recognized him was one of the players from the spin the bottle game
 "Actually, I'm looking for my friend. She vanished into thin air, it seems," you replied, trying not to sound too awkward. Small talk was never your strong suit, especially with extremely attractive guys.
He nodded, laughing softly,  "Well, I can help you find her, but only if you dance with me."
You considered it for a moment, thinking it might be exactly the distraction you needed. "Sure, why not? Lead the way," you said, setting your drink aside and taking his hand as he guided you to the center of the room where people were dancing.
"I'm Jeno, by the way," he introduced himself, leaning in closer to your ear so you could hear him over the music.
You shouted back, "Nice to meet you, Jeno. I'm Y/N." He responded with an adorable eye smile, and you couldn't help but smile back.
In those few fleeting minutes with Jeno, you were already smitten. He was far more polite and considerate than the typical guys you had encountered in college so far. At first, there was definitely an air of slight intimidation surrounding him, probably because of his tall muscular frame and silver blonde hair, but as you danced together, he showed his soft and kind nature. His hands rested firmly on your hips, providing just the right amount of contact without encroaching on your personal space. As you felt more comfortable in his arms, you entwined your hands behind his neck, and only then he pulled you closer. The swift movement caused a gentle collision against his solid chest, confirming what you had suspected earlier—Jeno was no stranger to the gym. His white shirt was clinging to him in all the right places and you had to force yourself to look away before he caught you staring.
As the music played and your bodies moved against each other, Jeno leaned close to your ear once again. "You know... during the spin the bottle game, I was annoyed," he confessed.
Confused, you raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"
"Because I was supposed to get that kiss from you, before that guy came and took my chance," he explained, his expression adorably pouting to emphasize his disappointment. 
Smiling at his confession, you couldn't help but tease him playfully. "Well, what if I told you I would've rather kissed you?"
His eyes lit up with delight, and you realized that he reminded you of a puppy. Jeno took your words as an invitation and slowly closed the gap between your faces, his lips barely grazing yours. But before the moment could fully unfold, the music abruptly stopped, and a crashing sound cut through the crowd. Turning your gaze over Jeno's shoulder, you saw chaos near the table where the sound system had been set up. 
The whole display had been knocked over, and the DJ  was engaged in a heated argument with another person. The other guy had his back to you, but you recognized that posture and when he turned his head to the side you confirmed who it was. Lee Haechan, his face contorted in anger as he flipped off the other guy who just kept yelling at him. His scorn only intensified when his eyes locked with yours, taking in the sight of you entangled with Jeno.
"What's going on over there?" you muttered to yourself, unable to tear your eyes away from the scene.
"Just some drunk jerk making a mess," Jeno replied, glancing back at you. 
You wished you could have resumed where you left off with him, but the interruption had shattered the moment. Not to mention, Haechan's piercing gaze lingered in your mind making you feel somewhat uneasy.
"Uh... I'm kind of thirsty. I should get a drink," you said, trying to find an excuse to escape the overwhelming atmosphere.
"I'll get it for you," Jeno offered, flashing a quick smile before heading off to fetch the drink. As he disappeared into the crowd, you ran your fingers through your hair, feeling the heat rising within you. The intensity of the almost-kiss and Haechan's intense stare made it hard to catch your breath. You needed a moment alone, away from the suffocating crowd.
You made your way to the bathroom upstairs, your go-to escape room. However, as you reached the door, you discovered it was locked, and the lewd sounds coming from inside let you know it wouldn’t be available for a while. Frustrated, you let out a sigh and glanced around, hoping to find another bathroom. Knocking on each door along the hallway, you realized that most of them were locked too, leaving little doubt as to what was happening inside.
Just as you were about to give up, the door at the end of the hallway swung open when you tried it, and you immediately slipped into the room discreetly. Closing the door behind you, you breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for this temporary escape. You stepped into the bathroom and splashed water on your face and neck, trying to cool yourself down. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you couldn't help but feel frustrated with yourself for allowing Haechan to disrupt your thoughts once again. You hadn't even exchanged a single word with him tonight, yet he managed to occupy your mind so intensely. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, and with a shake of your head, you resolved to leave the bathroom and rejoin Jeno, who was probably wondering where you had run off to.
But to your surprise and horror, someone stood on the balcony. You hadn't even realized the room had a balcony when you entered. The figure seemed unaware of your presence. So you attempted to make a silent exit, and almost succeeded until you accidentally tripped over a trash can. Wow, you really needed to pay better attention to your surroundings.
"Y/N?" a familiar voice called out, the one that had been haunting your thoughts just moments ago. Frozen in place, you debated whether to make a run for it. Surely he wouldn't stop you, right? He wouldn't chase after you... would he?
"Haechan..." you sighed, your tone conveying your frustration at seeing him. 
"Are you stalking me or something?," he asked, his teasing tone cutting through the tense air. You rolled your eyes at the absurd suggestion.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking that? It seems like you're always popping up wherever I go… first the game, then the bathroom, and now here," you retorted, counting off the instances on your fingers. "What are you even doing here?" You gestured around the room, emphasizing your point.
"I could ask you the same thing. Weren't you just getting cozy with that Kendoll downstairs?" he asked, hands nonchalantly tucked into his pockets as he gradually closed the distance between you. Now, up close, you could see him clearly. He wore a black graphic t-shirt with the words 'they come, they go,' and his jeans were ripped on the thighs. His hair was also somewhat styled. It was clear that he had put some effort into his appearance, unlike his usual messy style.
"You didn't answer my question," you persisted, fighting off the nerves that his proximity was starting to stir.
"Well, this happens to be my birthday party," he revealed, a hint of satisfaction in his voice at seeing the slight shock in your face.
"Oh… uhm… happy birthday," you awkwardly mumbled. His closeness now forced you to tilt your head upward, despite the height advantage your heels provided.
"Anyway, why did you make a scene at your own birthday party?" you asked, trying to kill the awkward silence and stepping away slightly to regain some personal space.
You made your way to the balcony, craving the fresh air as a relief from the intensity of the room.
"I guess you could say I wasn't vibing with the atmosphere, the music, the people... especially the people," he replied, his words hinting at something that you couldn't quite grasp.
"Hm, well, I was actually having a good time for once," you replied, leaning against the balcony rail. He mirrored your posture, but instead of gazing out at the street ahead, he fixed his gaze on you.
"Yeah, I could see that. So, who's your new boy-jock-friend?" he asked, his words dripping with sarcasm and… jealousy? You turned your head to the side, squinting incredulously at the ridiculous nickname he had given Jeno.
"His name is Jeno, and he's actually a really nice guy," you clarified.
"Is that so?," he hummed, his expression pensive. His lack of a proper response prompted you to look at him again, only to find him struggling to suppress a stupid grin.
"What, Haechan?" you demanded, growing tired of his antics.
"Nothing, just...I was wondering if you even like guys like that,"  he asked, shrugging.
"Why does it matter to you?" you shot back, your voice tinged with annoyance.
"It doesn't," he replied nonchalantly, but there was a subtle shift in his demeanor as he closed the distance between you. The intensity in his gaze mirrored the way he had looked at you after your first kiss. "But I know you don't like him." He whispered that into your ear, now standing directly behind you. 
Caught off guard by his statement, you instinctively turned around to face him. Bad idea.
"You're wrong," you managed to reply, though the pitch change in your voice betrayed your nervousness. His amusement grew as he leaned against the balcony rail, his hands positioned on either side of you.
"Then answer this..." he began, his hand gently brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your chin, tilting it ever so slightly, "Why are you here with me instead of with him?"
You were at a loss for words. He was right. You should have been downstairs with Jeno, dancing some more, perhaps even kissing him. Yet, there you stood with this fool, your gaze inexplicably drawn to his lips and the way they moved, and how he unconsciously wet them every few seconds.
"Nothing to say?" he teased, his nose grazing against yours, and you couldn't help but close your eyes, knowing deep down that you were about to do something completely crazy. "I think we-"
"Shut up," you blurted out, unable to hold back any longer, and you closed the gap between your lips in a frenzy. The kiss was anything but slow this time; it was a messy collision of longing and pent-up tension that had been brewing for days. All the warning signs you put for yourself to stay away from Lee Haechan felt irrelevant now.
Your hands found their way into Haechan's hair, pulling on the strands as you tried to make him groan just like before. But this time, he surprised you by firmly gripping your thighs and seating you on the balcony rail. The cool metal against your bare skin made you shiver, but the sensation was quickly overridden by the warmth of Haechan's touch. The kiss grew more intense, a mess of lips and tongues, bites, sucks, and a chorus of eager sounds that escaped from both of you. The world around you faded away as you focused solely on how good his hands and lips felt.
"Please," you moaned against his lips, and he wasted no time. In a flash, he lifted you, carrying you effortlessly to the bed. The kiss never faltered as he positioned himself above you, his hands hungrily exploring your body. Your skirt was hiked up, and he suddenly grabbed your ass making you gasp. Clothes were becoming a nuisance, and Haechan noticed your impatience as you fumbled with his shirt. He couldn't help but chuckle at your eagerness, but he helped anyways, discarding the shirt and revealing a canvas of smooth skin that begged to be touched.
You traced the contours of his torso with your fingers, savoring the sight of every mole and line etched across his skin. Your ogling was momentarily interrupted when Haechan tried to remove your tangled shirt, provoking a dramatic sigh from you when he finally pulled it off your head. He laughed at this and your lips met once more in a short, sweet kiss before his attention shifted to removing your skirt. 
Lying before him in nothing but your underwear, you watched as he straightened up, his gaze locked on your exposed form. You felt self-conscious but the way he was looking at you with darkened, adoring eyes, let you know that there was nothing to be shy about.
You flung your bra aside after unhooking it, meeting Haechan's hungry gaze as he took in your now exposed chest. You grabbed his hand inviting him to touch you. His hand glided from your belly to your breasts, exploring your curves slowly. He leaned and latched his mouth on your right breast, playing, nibbling, and sucking. He wanted to hear every moan and whimper coming from your lips. Each sound you made spurred him on, his body instinctively grinding against yours, his growing hardness pressing against you with every movement. You knew he was growing desperate with every sloppy thrust and lick of his tongue.
You hooked your finger through the chain around Haechan's neck and pulled him up so he was face to face with you "I want to try something," you whispered, planting a quick kiss on his lips. Gently pushing him by the shoulder, he willingly allowed himself to fall onto his back, his eyes fixed on you, filled with anticipation.
"What are you doing?" he asked, a playful tone lacing his breathless voice as you slowly crawled down his body, stopping in front of his crotch.
"What do you think?" you teased, unzipping his pants and sliding them down. His black boxers clung tightly to his arousal, already dampened with pre-cum. Biting your lip, you could already imagine his thickness just by the sight of it over his underwear. Looking up at Haechan, you noticed he had his hands behind his head to get a better view of your actions.
Without hesitation, you pulled down his boxers, causing his erection to spring up in an almost comical manner. There was no time to waste, you could tell that he might explode if you delayed any further. Grasping him firmly at the base, you used the slickness of his pre-cum as lub, pumping him a few times. Haechan bit his lips to contain his desperate moans, he didn’t want it to be so obvious that your simple touch on his dick almost made him cum.
But you had other plans. You wanted to hear him. You wanted to make him moan, whimper, and maybe  even cry out in pleasure. Propping yourself up, you leaned in and without warning, kitten-licked his sensitive tip. Haechan's head flew back, as a string of curses left his mouth. Delighted by his fucked up state, you repeated the motion several more times before finally taking him fully into your mouth. Slowly, you went deeper, until he hit the back of your throat. Inevitably, a groan escaped him, his self-restraint crumbling as you began to suck him off properly. He moaned, thrusting his hips into your mouth, his grip on your hair becoming desperate to ensure you wouldn't stop. Seeing him in such a vulnerable and desperate state was a sight you never thought you'd witness - Lee Haechan squirming beneath you, completely undone by your actions.
"Oh, f-...uck... that feels so good," Haechan groaned, his voice strained as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked harder. He was thrusting against your face without even realizing it. You didn't blame him; he was so consumed by pleasure that he couldn't control himself. You reached down and gently played with his balls, wanting to see his reaction. The way his eyes rolled back, and his hips momentarily faltered, told you that another touch like that would send him over the edge. With a quick glance at you bobbing your head up and down his cock, Haechan decided he had reached his limit. He grabbed you by the cheeks, pulling your mouth away from his dick. The lewd sight of your saliva connecting you both in a string made him wish he could capture the moment in a picture to enjoy later.
"I need to fuck you right now," Haechan explained when you looked at him with confusion. With those words, he got off the bed and rummaged through one of the night tables, searching for a condom. As he pulled out the small wrapper, you couldn't help but ask, "How did you know that was there?"
"Because this is my room," he said casually, the revelation catching you off guard. Though, it made sense that this was his dorm, given that it was his birthday party. 
He swiftly opened the condom wrapper and rolled it onto his cock. Without wasting any time, he climbed back onto the bed and slowly removed your panties, tutting at the sight of how wet you were. "Look at you," he said with a smile, allowing his fingers to explore your slick folds. The way your mouth opened and your eyes screwed shut in response showed just how bad you were needing to be touched there. As one of his fingers slowly entered you, he leaned in and kissed you, his tongue drowning out the moans that escaped your lips. Sensing your growing desperation, he added an extra finger, expertly pleasuring you. "H... Haechan," you moaned into his lips, and he hummed in response, continuing to finger you with more urgency. 
"Please... more," you managed to gasp out.
"As you wish, princess," he whispered, removing his fingers from you and licking your essence off them. He positioned himself on top of you, aligning his cock with your entrance. Teasingly, he pressed it against you without fully entering. "Haechan..." you said, your tone suddenly serious, using his dangling chain to pull him closer. "If you don't stop teasing me, I swear I'm going downstairs to find Jeno."
He let out a bitter laugh, but the mention of Jeno noticeably changed his demeanor. Before you could say anything else, he plunged inside you. The immediate clenching of your walls around him caused both of you to moan loudly. Haechan gripped your hips and adjusted your position with surprising care. After a few more seconds, you grabbed his hips and pushed him slightly, indicating that you wanted him to go deeper. Without wasting any more time, he obliged, burying his cock further inside you. "Fuck," he groaned, the sensation of him stretching you feeling too incredible for words.
He began to move, his thrusts gradually gaining speed until he was practically ramming into you. The sight of his pretty face, screwed up with swollen lips from all the kissing and biting, dilated pupils, and droplets of sweat on his forehead, drove you wild. 
Effortlessly, he grabbed your leg and propped it on his shoulder, allowing him to penetrate deeper, hitting a new spot that had your mouth foaming. He continued thrusting hard and fast, relishing in the way your breasts bounced with each powerful stroke. 
Your whimpering only made him want to see you come undone even more. He leaned in and kissed you softly, the tenderness contrasting with his hard thrusts. You melted into the kiss, moans mixing between you both. He even slowed down his thrusts, lost in the kiss for a moment. But then he unexpectedly started ramming into you again, thrusting harder and pushing you closer to the edge.
"Cum all over my cock, princess," he commanded, his voice hoarse with pleasure. With a few more hard thrusts and the feeling of his mouth devouring yours, you felt yourself reaching an orgasm more intense than anything you've ever before.
"Fu-...oh my god," you moaned loudly, your legs trembling uncontrollably.
Haechan followed suit shortly after, his thrusts growing messier as you clenched tightly around him. He came with a loud, uninhibited moan that reverberated through the room, a sound that would undoubtedly linger in your mind for a long time.
The air grew still, and the only audible sounds were the heavy, ragged breaths escaping both of you. Lying on your backs, you found yourselves staring up at the ceiling, your legs still intertwined, too exhausted to make a move or utter a word.
But then, Haechan shattered the silence.
"Best fucking birthday ever."
a/n: btw i reached 127 followers right after posting this so thank you so much lol *cue the flute*
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taldigi · 10 days ago
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how do you feel about yu’s parents?? What do you think they’re like?
I think they're really interesting to explore- believe it or not. I've seen a lot of different interpretations of his parents, ranging from straight up negligent, to being abusive-- or just simply too busy. I've even seen interpretations where they're perfectly fine parents, and that the year abroad is an unusual circumstance.
The game itself, which is what I would consider primary canon (sequels being secondary and manga and anime being tertiary) never touches on it more than it needs to to justify Yu's presence in Inaba/being new. I think Yu's mother is briefly mentioned once or twice and they are said to have called Dojima once.
I made the observation (previously when theorizing about Ren's parents) that it's completely possible that during the downtime that you don't get to see between transition stages (where, theoretically, the main protagonists would do homework or take a shower or tend to other daily needs) it's totally possible that they call or interact with their parents.
All interpretations are possible, but I know Souji Seta's (the protagonist from the Manga) parents are always moving around- and lot of folks have taken this to heart- and yeah, I can see it and I too like this idea- even though it's worth considering the fact that the manga is mostly secondary to the games (and even the anime!) and it's not definite canon.
That being said, I definitely like the idea that they are a sort of echo of the conflict between Nanako and Dojima. Both suggest career oriented people that probably shouldn't have had a kid in the first place who prioritize their work over their family.. and that, in turn, leading to neglect- with Yu and Nanako both being self sufficient. mature for their ages, and complacent.
Behaviors Yu exhibits- like his ability to cook meals beyond what is expected of a teenage boy, becoming incredibly attached to Nanako (he is one wrong dialog choice away from killing someone over her!) and Inaba, the insatiable need to people please, his initial desire to push people away or ignore others, and his otherworldly emotional control and ability to not express himself.. -is stuff like that echos of a kid who's had to grow up way too fast and not cause any trouble and keep to himself.
So personally, I subscribe to that concept: Yu's a kid who's been raised to be seen, not heard- developing complexes and anxieties over being praised for being responsible and mature even though he's only barely meeting that expectation by the skin of his teeth. Nothing less that being perfect for the Narukamis, after all- there's no time to make friends or have many interests when time is better spent on studying.
So... the Narukamis are parents who fufill those concepts. Parents who withhold attention and praise because those are things reserved for truly impressive successes.. and when exemplary is the expected baseline, such rewards are never actually acted upon.
Yu does have a taste in cooking, though- and a selection of music he likes. He doodles in his notes and reads magazines- I feel it expresses that while his parents don't police his interests, it also means that they really care much about their son's interests... as long as they don't interfere with work (and, by extension- Yu's grades or behavior, as he can be considered an asset in said jobs)
Jobs that leave them busy more often than not, leaving Yu alone.. but he's mature for his age, so it's okay. He prolly does a fried egg and toast and then goes and sits in front of the TV to do his homework. Yu seeing this in Nanako... is a lot, and makes their relationship that much more sweet and aajhksdkjasf
His parent's cruelty is best decided on a story by story basis. The level of willfulness in their work (genuinely needed often vs choosing work over family for example) or the level of regret they express upon leaving-- informing many interesting stories.
so yeah thats my thoughts on that.
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side tangent, thats why souyo's so nice tbh. Yu always has to be the inconquerable senpai, the perfect big brother, noble leader, and everyone's rock- only to have Yosuke waltz up , hang off of him like a drunk girlfriend, and go "yeah he's amazing, but he's also the world's weirdest man and he's my best friend about it."
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woniverse-writes · 1 year ago
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"Moth to a Flame (part 5)"
Bada Lee x Reader
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part 4 ⟵ part 5 ⟶ part 6
series masterlist
summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.
word count: 6k
warnings: swearing, angst, y/n is a little psycho asshole in this chapter, but like- bada.... eeh scary, a lot of plot changes cuz I like playing the victim lol, not proofread, ending was kind of rushed, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction
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Shortly after Rie Hata’s message finished playing on the monitors all teams wrapped up their fun and began heading back to the studio to begin preparing for the mega crew mission. They all dry their hair and get changed, reapplying their makeup to prepare for filming again, when the host appears with another message. He congratulates the remaining teams for surviving, and at the mention of Tsubakill’s elimination y/n and the rest of Jam Republic immediately frown. 
Daniel continues to explain the mission and informs them that there will be three different concepts that they have to use, but the way they will be decided is by group discussion. On top of that team Bebe has the benefit of going straight for whatever concept they want without discussion. The three creative prompts consisted of ‘outdoor’, ‘structure’, and ‘all gender’. 
“Ooh we could definitely do something sick with structures” Audrey perked up and her partner-in-crime nodded in agreement before speaking
“Yeah but honestly I think we could do well with any of these…” y/n countered smirking cockily prompting Emma to hum and hold out her hand for a high five.
“I personally feel like we should go for outdoors. I already have so many ideas for what we could do and I know some of you do too…” the leader chimed in, eyeing Ling and Y/n at the mention of other members having ideas. They decide to have their three creative directors be Kirsten, Ling, and Y/n and the three begin coming up with their own separate ideas, with the help of another member. 
When the crew came back together after a few moments of planning and creative briefing, they all shared their ideas. Kirsten came up with the idea of showcasing the beauty of New Zealand since it was most of their crew’s homeland- she wanted to shoot on the beach and have the rocks behind them. Ling’s idea was to take more of an approach that would appeal to their Korean audience, by incorporating more K-pop dance styles and music and shooting in the heart of the city with all the lights in the back. Everyone really liked both ideas, but y/n’s quickly became their favorite when she explained it.
“Okay so this might be too much, and could easily get muddled- but what if we did a sports theme? Like- we each represent a different sport or activity while also representing our culture or background… each of us could get a highlight and we’d all have our “teams” that would dance in our own styles- then we’d all come together in the end as a sort of pep-rally type thing…” y/n finished off the basic ideas of her take, and everyone immediately either nodded or clapped, thoroughly impressed with how quickly she had come up with such an elaborate idea.
“And this is exactly why you’re here girlfriend- forever a genius…” the leader nodded and smiled at her youngest, clapping her hands slowly and appreciatively. It was an idea that could work with all three concepts so the team decided to mark y/n’s as the top choice as of right now.
When all the teams gathered to pick their concept Jam Republic and Bebe were the only groups that chose something other than ‘structure’, Jam Republic sticking to their outdoor idea and Bebe going with the all gender category. After the pink team explained why they picked what they did, it caused Deep n Dap to change their pick to outdoor as well, saying it was because they felt their crew could easily rival Jam Republic, which caused Kirsten to maturely and professionally nod, while y/n covered her mouth and snickered.
After Jam Republic has guaranteed themselves a spot in the outdoor concept, they head back to their team hideout and begin to plan out their ideas in full. Y/n already begins to map out choreography for her and Ling’s sections, while Emma does the same for herself and Audrey, leaving Kirsten and Latrice to pair up. The girls decided to head back to New Zealand and take advantage of the scenery as part of the expression of their members’ culture. It was a nice blend of y/n and Kirsten’s concepts. 
______
Y/n and Bada hadn’t really talked much since they began preparing for the Mega Crew mission, both focusing on their team’s success. Although they still texted daily, sometimes it was only a quick good morning or goodnight, while other times they had fuller conversations.
‘Have a safe flight, text me when you land plz!’ y/n read the message right before she got on the plane. She felt her heart swell at the little gesture of care, hearting the message and replying with a selfie of her in the airport paired with the words ‘thank you lovey, I will <3’.
Jam Republic boarded their plane and took off from South Korea to New Zealand, with many plans already going wrong as soon as the plane was in the air. You see, they had just been informed of how bad the weather was in the area, then about how many of the dancers they called for wouldn’t be able to make it. Each member was responsible for contacting and securing 10 members to come dance with them, explaining how the show would be paying for their trip and all the dancers had to do was show up and give it their best. It started off really well, with each of them actually coming back with more than 10 dancers. Then the weather hit. Flights were canceled or delayed to the point where people wouldn’t make it in enough time to learn the dance. On top of that, their idea to shoot at the beach was totally scrapped due to the intense winds. With the major setbacks of losing over half their dancers and not being able to use their original scene, the girls had to redo choreography and practically start the whole project over.
“This can’t be happening…” y/n was the first to start spiraling, ever the drama queen- but this time it was very justified. All six members of the crew stood in a circle in the middle of the studio floor, eyes flitting back and forth between each other and their leader, who was staring at the floor deep in thought. Kirsten let out a huge sigh and crossed her arms tensely.
“I’m sorry girls… but I really don’t know what we’re gonna do…” the leader ran her hands down her face and let out another deep breath, turning away for a moment with her hands on her hips. At that moment, the youngest realized how serious the situation really was, seeing as her leader wasn’t presenting her usual calm self. Typically when there was an issue, Kirsten was calm, cool, and collected- even if it seemed unsolvable… she always had an answer no matter what.
y/n being the perfectionist she is, began racking her brain for any possible solutions, already feeling her lungs begin to collapse at the possibility of complete failure. On top of being a perfectionist, the young girl also had a pretty bad case of savior complex, feeling like she had to fix everyone’s problems, especially when there was no one else who could- even if she knew that she herself probably wouldn’t be able to fix it either (at least not without bending over backward and bleeding herself dry). 
“No… no we can easily fix this-” all eyes went to the youngest member who ran off to grab all their notebooks and bring them back over to where the crew still stood. She spread them out, riffling through the pages until she found ideas they could use. 
“We can still use the stadium… it won’t be as grand of a scale as we wanted, but that can still work. And- and we can make it related to New Zealand instead of all of our different backgrounds, so it’s easier to put together and less choreography to make up… we can fix this!” y/n was frantically and hopefully (delusionally) explaining her ideas, trying as hard as she could to bring the team’s morale back up. They sat down in their circle and began connecting the ideas, just hoping for the best at this point
Even though the Jam Republic girls were frustrated, they only let it fuel their will to work even harder. It crushed y/n a little to have to scrap her idea, knowing it would’ve brought them an easy win, but she was determined to make their new routine strong. The team had ultimately decided to keep the athletic theme but changed it quite a bit to highlight rugby which was a big part of New Zealand culture. The girls planned on dancing in the bleachers and on the field to portray a Friday night lights feel, or a game- since it technically was still a competition between them and deep n dap.
A few days go by and it isn’t getting any easier for Jam Republic. As much as they try to stay positive, the insane lack of dancers makes it hard to achieve the impact they’re going for. Y/n kept saying how they needed to keep trying to find more dancers, but Kirsten just wanted to focus on perfecting the routine with what they had. The young girl also kept mentioning little ideas and elements to add in order to amplify the concept they were going for, but again the leader was more focused on solidifying the present piece. Y/n ended up getting so frustrated that she would just randomly start tearing up and crying during their breaks, not allowing herself to stop for more than 30 seconds, grabbing a quick sip of water, and then immediately going back to practicing. She thought that maybe if she gave it her all, she wouldn’t be as disappointed in herself when she wasn’t satisfied with the outcome. 
Of course, all of the girls were on edge but they at least were able to put it aside at some moments, still being able to enjoy parts of the process. y/n tried her best not to let her teammates see how anxious and worked up she was, but the girl was so overwhelmed with fear of failure that it would be impossible for anyone not to see it. Which is why it made everything so much worse for her when she continued to go through the rest of the preparation without a single person asking what was wrong. Y/n understood- really, she did. Everyone needed to focus on the end goal, and that meant there wasn’t time to deal with her feelings.
Bada was beginning to worry, seeing as the last response she had gotten from y/n was days ago. The girl had landed her flight and texted the Bebe leader immediately, letting her know she was safe, but also explaining the problems that had already arisen. They talked briefly about how the pink team was likely going to have to restart everything if the weather didn’t ease up. Then a couple of days later, they talked on the phone about the complete concept change and reboot of their whole routine. Y/n tried to keep her stress to a minimum, not wanting to be a burden to the other girl who was also beginning to get stressed. 
It had been many days since then, and she’d texted the younger girl three separate times as well as tried calling her twice. Bada finally got a response the day before Jam Republic would be flying back to Korea for the midterm mission check, where they as well as the other teams would be reviewing each other’s practice videos of the choreography. It had been a somewhat longer text message reading ‘hi. I’m really sorry for not responding at all for the last few days. I know you’re probably just as stressed as i am, so I’m sorry for not being able to be there. Things haven’t been going good over here and I’m honestly really scared to present what we have… but I’m sure everything will be fine haha. How have you been?’
Bada felt her heart clench at the girl’s words, understanding why she wasn’t responding but still feeling a bit upset nonetheless. It hurt her to see y/n try to brush off her stress and redirect her attention so it would focus on caring for others instead of caring for herself.
Jam Republic arrives back in South Korea and heads straight to the studio to film their reactions and judgments of the other teams. They immediately make their way to their pink hideout passing by other crews, but not having time to mingle or really do anything more than smile and wave. The girls were exhausted from the flight, jetlag, and overworking themselves. y/n didn’t even realize team Bebe wasn’t with the rest of the crews when they passed through the lobby.
Bebe sat in their room, feeling more anxious than usual, a bad vibe floating through the air. No one could quite put their finger on it, but something definitely wasn’t right and it was causing all of the members to feel its effects. It officially came time for all crews to review each dance practice video. Each team’s video played one by one and the members had time to fill out the review cards before moving on to the next. 
Bebe’s video played next and the reactions were not positive, to say the least. Everyone seemed disappointed by the piece as a whole, expecting something much bigger- the music was too big of a risk, the props were poorly utilized, and it was overall just too simple. It wasn’t a bad video- it just didn’t meet anyone’s expectations since they were all waiting for some elaborate project, knowing Bada was very capable of doing so. Shortly after, a similar reaction was felt while everyone watched the Jam Republic video.
“They don’t have enough people…” Mina Myoung was the first to observe the team’s lack of crew members. They even paused the video to count how many were shown, seeing 28, which was under the minimum limit of 30 people.
“It honestly isn’t powerful enough… it’s just not impressive” Buckey commented, crossing her arms over her chest. Yoonji sighed and frowned.
“This is so sad… I was really rooting for them” The girl mumbled, genuinely feeling pity for the international team, hoping they’d be able to pull through.
When it came down to voting for the team that should be eliminated, Jam Republic ultimately chose Bebe. They were originally tied between voting for Bebe and Wolf'lo, with y/n fighting her best fight to vote for Wolf'lo because it just didn't look entertaining to her and they had no story or plot.
"y/n…" Kirsten started off in a warning but gentle tone
"We can’t just not pick Bebe because of you and Bada… this is a competition babe." and y/n was kinda hurt by that because she knows how to be objective and she didn't even think she was biasing Bebe- she just personally didn't like Wolf'lo and thought they should be eliminated over any other team.
Then it finally came down to the results. Each team would be given a scorecard showing the comments and feedback they’d received from the others. One card would reveal the team voted as most likely to place first, and another would reveal who was most likely to be eliminated. When Jam Republic opens their card, it felt like all of the air suddenly got sucked out of the room. 
“God DAMN” Audrey laughed humorlessly in absolute shock, as they all stared at the words ‘MOST AT RISK FOR ELIMINATION’ in big bold letters at the top. y/n stopped breathing for a few seconds and she’s pretty sure everyone else did too, seeing as there was not a single sound to be heard in the dressing room. The young girl once again tried to convince herself to think rationally, but couldn’t get past the anxiety and crushing weight of failure that was starting to fill her lungs. She wasn’t even angry, even though she should’ve been because she understood. y/n understood that they didn’t meet the criteria, and their dance simply wasn’t as put together as it should've been, especially in comparison to other teams/
What really got her emotional was realizing that Bebe- that BADA- voted for them too… it felt like such betrayal and she wore that shit on her face like usual. But still- she didn't feel angry, just betrayed and heartbroken, and really fucking disappointed. The more mature and logical side of y/n was still trying not to jump to conclusions because maybe it wasn’t Bada that decided… Maybe it was the same situation her team had going on- maybe Bada didn’t want to vote for Jam Republic but the majority of others did. Y/n truly did understand everyone’s reasoning, but that didn’t make it hurt any less, especially having Bada vote to eliminate her as well
“It’s gonna be okay lovey… I promise” Kirsten wrapped her arm around the youngest’s shoulders and whispered reassuringly to her as she watched her begin to have a mental breakdown. Moments later, the rest of the crew’s ranking was revealed, showing 1 Million in first and Jam Republic in last, but also- Bebe in sixth, the second to last place. Seeing this, Bada sighed and began to have her own slight mental breakdown.
Some teams celebrated their rankings while others sat quietly, reviewing the feedback and pondering what to do. Jam Republic sat in silence as Kirsten read over the comments. Y/n sat by her side with her head in her hands sobbing silently, so overwhelmed that she didn’t know what to do. The entire team was at a loss, and soon Kirsten started crying too, wrapping and arm around the youngest members, who finally let her emotions be shown to her team. The loud cries were the only sound in the room.
Y/n was able to calm herself down after about 20 minutes of crying. The poor girl felt so awful about how things were going feeling responsible for a lot of it- thinking that maybe if she had pushed her ideas a little more, or gotten in contact with more people, or even just tried a little harder, maybe Jam Republic could’ve done so much better. Even though she’s calmed down, tears still flow down her face without her even realizing it. Y/n was never angry at anyone else for their opinions, but now she’s feeling awfully spiteful towards herself. The youngest member was filled with so much resentment and self-hatred, that it immediately sent her into an inescapable depression.
The show writers and staff were cruel. So cruel for making these girls show off their inspiration boards and creative briefs live in front of the other teams. Each team explains their given concept and how they came up with the details to highlight what they chose. While it was much more of a relaxed environment (in the sense that there would be no feedback or ranking based on this), a majority of contestants were nowhere near feeling at ease. 
The members of Jam Republic were able to build themselves back up and put on their game faces while presenting, except for y/n. She really did try her best to not look like she was about to cry at the drop of a hat, but it was no use. The girl was simply not herself. The small girl’s usually bright and energetic personality was nowhere to be found, not once cracking even a hint of a smile- even when Jam Republic received immense praise for their ideas. She didn’t find any enjoyment in the other crew’s presentations, although to be fair she wasn’t really able to focus on them- she just sat there in a daze.
It made everyone nervous to see Jam Republic’s youngest member like this. Her members noticed that she had become even more irritable than before- but now in a scary way that genuinely had them concerned for themselves and everyone else. The girl was calm but you could just feel the rage and depression and resentment radiating off of her to the point it made chills run down your spine.
_________
After every crew had shared their ideas and idea boards, they were allowed to go back to head back to their hideouts to discuss any adjustments or further plans that had to be made before returning to their projects. Jam Republic had to get right back on a plane in a few hours to head back to New Zealand and somehow fix their entire routine, again.
Y/n just finished walking up the staircase leading from the fight zone to the crew lounges, when she heard someone call out her name from closely behind her. The girl turned around to come face to face with the tall leader she had been talking with for the last few months.
“Hey, are you okay? I called your name like three times…” Bada questioned worriedly, her eyebrows furrowed and head tilted as she waited for the younger girl’s response, with wide caring eyes.
“...I'm just really tired” y/n whispered in the meekest voice possible, already feeling her eyes start to sting again, but trying to cover it up with a smile. Bada sighs and pulls her into a big hug, and surprisingly y/n doesn’t burst into tears. The girl continues to try as hard as possible to keep the droplets from escaping her eyes as she squeezes them shut.
“Look… I’m really sorry” the older of the two began resting her head atop y/n’s, but the shorter one felt her body tense at the apology already not liking where the conversation was headed. y/n let go of Bada’s waist and backed away, waiting for the older girl to continue.
“It wasn’t personal… the dance was still very good, and it’ll look even better with all of the ideas planned out!” she finished, referring to how her team had voted Jam Republic as the worst crew. Y/n’s face lost any emotion she had regained, looking empty and exhausted again, making Bada’s skin prickle.
“no, I understand” was all y/n spoke, already trying to disconnect from reality to save herself from crying again or making a bigger fool out of herself than she already has. But Bada is only more upset by the reaction, seeing as y/n just doesn’t seem at all like herself. The girl genuinely looks empty inside and no one on the show has ever seen her like this, in fact- no one in Jam Republic has even seen her like this and they’re all beginning to become extremely worried about her. And even though it’s clear the small girl just needs time and space, Bada decides to keep talking 
“The vote was objective I promise, I don’t want you to think anything personally of it” At the end of the older girl’s sentence, y/n just felt the tiniest bit of a scowl make its way onto her face, feeling pissed off at the thought of someone once again thinking she doesn’t understand the concept of a competition.
“Obviously- I’m not stupid, this is a competition.” the harsh tone that comes out of the younger really throws Bada for a loop because she has never seen y/n speak to or about anyone like this- and it makes her feel sick to her stomach that her first time witnessing it is directed at her.
“I- no, what? Of course you’re not stupid! I just wanted to make sure… to make sure you knew. That’s all.” Bada started off a bit panicked and emotional but quickly was able to calm down and speak rationally, understanding the younger girl was known to have a bit of a temper. There was a long silent pause.
"did you decide on Jam Republic?" y/n asked a bit accusatorily
"Huh?" the older tilted her head, still absolutely confused about how this situation was occurring right now.
"did YOU, as in yourself, Bada Lee, decide to vote Jam Republic as the team to be eliminated, or was it someone else's idea…" There was silence for a moment before Bada sighed then pursed her lips
"We all decided-" 
"but who's idea was it? Did you even argue it? Were you even thinking of anyone else? Or did you just immediately decide and agree that my team should be the next to go?" Bada didn’t say anything as she started to get a little frustrated, but she watched as y/n just scoffed at the lack of response and turned to walk away, rolling her eyes. Bada followed her and pulled her aside, a few feet away from the outside of Bebe's dressing room
"well you voted for my team as the worst, so how is this any fair at all?" the tall leader finally let her emotions take control of her as she shot back with much less frustration than her counterpart, but still irritated nonetheless.
"because I didn't want to vote for you! I fought to vote Wolf'lo over you guys because I know you don't deserve to go home! I understand it from an objective perspective- I promise Bada, I do- but that doesn't make it hurt any less!" There were a few beats of silence before y/n continued
"and it's honestly really infuriating that you don't think I understand that this is a competition-" she finished off quieter than before but still filled with annoyance and betrayal.
"WOAH- now when did I EVER say that??" now it was Bada’s turn to blow up
 "Oh my god- you don't have to say it! You clearly think I'm just here to have fun and make friends!" y/n once again raised her voice, this time rising in pitch as well.
"Why would you say that??" Bada fired back and was immediately met with the calmest tone of voice y/n had spoken in since the argument began, and it terrified her.
"Bada- you haven't seen me as a threat once this entire competition… have you? Not to you, not to your team…" Bada stuttered for a second, completely blindsided by the argument
"where is this all coming from y/n?" the tall girl asked, genuinely concerned. y/n sighed and her eyes softened, shook her head.
"never mind" She turned and went to walk away, but Bada grabbed her by the wrist again and dragged her inside the blue team room, closing the door behind her
"you need to speak to me. You need to communicate with me what's going on right now because whatever you're feeling is totally valid- we had a rough day out there- fuck, we’ve had a rough few days, especially you- but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on me… so please tell what's wrong, so I can try to help." the older girl calmly and gently explained her thoughts and feelings to the girl in front of her, and y/n almost cracked. almost.
“I think it’s best for me to focus on the competition… building relationships clearly isn’t working out to my benefit" Her previously soft and watery eyes, had quickly cleared up within a few seconds, leaving her looking cold and unapproachable again. The response was petty and childish, y/n herself knew that, but she said to hurt Bada. 
why do you want to hurt Bada? She was apologizing, why are you making this harder? You’re being childish and proving everyone right- you’re not fit for this competition, you’re too young y/n and you don’t know how to handle things when you actually need to.
The younger girl’s internal dialogue was emotional and resentful towards herself, but for once, the expression on her face didn’t show how she was truly feeling. The anger and hatred taking over her features wasn’t directed towards the older girl in front of her, which is what anyone witnessing the interaction would assume. y/n could feel her stomach churning and her face getting hot with embarrassment. She didn’t understand why she was acting like this and didn’t know how to get herself to stop.
It felt like hours had passed before Bada spoke again and when she did it was led by an aggressive scoff.
“You can’t be serious right now…” she challenged so calmly that it sent a chill up y/n’s spine, the younger girl’s resolve finally breaking down and it became apparent that she wasn’t actually as tough as she was trying to be. Bada could see the cold glare falter for a split second, watching as her eyes became full of emotion before the younger was able to reel it in again.
“Why wouldn’t I be serious? This is a competition and the only people I should be trusting are my teammates, I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get in the way of things…” y/n responded just as calmly. If anyone else were to be present for the interaction they probably would've froze to death due to how cold the two were being.
“Next time I'll make sure to vote objectively and solely based on what I see in front, instead of trying to think about who deserves to be here more.” she finished with an empty, tight-lipped smile, tilting her head feigning understanding, and Bada let out a humorless chuckle
“God- have you always been this manipulative?” it was her turn to try and hurt the other girl. y/n’s cocky grin dropped immediately and she straightened up entirely.
“Excuse me?” the younger girl furrowed her brows and scowled again
“You heard me…” Bada replied cooly and nonchalantly as if this were any other normal conversation 
“I came to you, apologizing for what I did and your response to that is to start an argument- and THEN when you realize you’re in the wrong, you try to turn it on me?” the older girl finished, voice rising slightly
“I never turned it on you- I said how I needed to focus on the competition and stop being so friendly with everyone, how are you so self-absorbed to think that was about you?” y/n could barely even get her last word out before the other was shouting over her.
“BECAUSE IT WAS- it so obviously was a dig at me y/n, because who else are you close with? Huh??” the volume of Bada’s voice caused the younger girl to flinch, no longer being able to preserve her emotions. The tall girl took a few steps forward and leaned down, getting in y/n’s face.
“Who else can actually stand being around you…” shot after shot fired, Bada was doing a much better job at hurting y/n than y/n was doing hurting Bada. She wasn’t even thinking about how she used to tell herself that she would never be the reason y/n would be crying, and now here she is, feeling satisfied when she sees a single tear run down the girl's face. She wasn’t paying attention to how it sucked all the air out of her lungs and made her stomach turn in disgust, only noticing the minuscule feeling of satisfaction.
“I think it’s so funny how you say that, knowing damn well you get jealous any time someone even looks at me… you know better than anybody that anyone in this fucking place would love to be in your position-” and this caused Bada to let out a loud laugh of disbelief, backing away slightly before getting right back in her face
“Yeah? Then how come nobody even paid attention to you until I took notice… you know that’s the only reason you’re popular, right? If it had been anyone else, no one would’ve cared… admit it to yourself, nobody wants to be in my place y/n- they all wanna be in yours, so maybe think about how lucky you are…” Bada didn’t believe in a single thing that was coming out of her mouth, she honestly couldn’t even believe her own voice hearing how condescending and spiteful the words sounded as they left her lips. She could feel a slight ringing in her ears, part of her brain processing it as a tiny voice screaming at her to stop and that she was making a mistake. But the damage was already done.
Y/n was barely holding back tears anymore, pursing her lips and clenching her jaw did nothing to stop the flow of salty droplets from streaming down her face. Her nostrils flared slightly as she swallowed down sobs and tightly closed her eyes.
“I’m not having this conversation anymore…” she managed to get the words out without sounding horribly choked up as she turns away to leave, hand about to turn the knob as the older girl lets out another dry chuckle.
“Oh so now you wanna act mature? Let me tell you this isn’t the mature way to handle the situation anymore- you don’t know how to talk to people or resolve conflict, in fact you’re NOT confrontational at all, and are really just a scared little girl who’s all bark and no bite. You’re such a child- that’s all you are- is a FUCKING child…” it’s dead silent after Bada’s done screaming at her. Y/n turns around slowly and just stands there for a moment with a blank stare, then lets out the most dry, humorless laugh. It honestly scares the shit out of the older girl, eyes going wide and face paling, coming to her senses and realizing how fucked the situation was. 
Y/n was smiling and laughing, albeit a little psychotically, all while still crying- she had finally snapped, and Bada was terrified. The girl in front of her could easily be a danger to herself, and possibly others in the state she was in, but all the leader could think about was how there was probably no coming back from this. The younger of the two just closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and nodding at Bada with a tight-lipped smile, taking a deep breath.
“Okay” y/n smiles painfully as tears continue to run down her face- she turns around, swings the door open, and slams it shut as she walks out. The silence that followed was broken only seconds later as Bada heard the sobs that were almost immediately released by the girl who had just left.
y/n hadn’t even noticed the rest of Bada’s team standing around the corner, as she walked in the other direction to head back to her own room. Once she was far enough away, Lusher led the group quietly into their space seeing their leader sat on the couch with her head in her hands.
“Hey…” she speaks quietly, and Bada looks up with an empty look in her eyes, but tries to hide it when she realizes her team is present. Before she can even try to pretend nothing happened, the sub-leader was speaking up again
“We heard everything…” Bada sighed and felt tears pricking her eyes, disappointment and heartbreak finally taking over as she realized how fucked up the things she said were. The younger members sat around their leader and rubbed her arm or leg while they all watched with sad eyes as she sobbed. This was going to be a rough next few days.
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notes: i'm so sorry...
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kairoot · 11 months ago
Text
. ﹙★﹚THE COLOR VIOLET. | 희승
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PAIRING : heeseung x f.reader ➖ GENRE : angst, 80s au, high school au ➖ REQUESTED : no ➖ WARNINGS : lowercase intended, pet names, break-up, no happy ending, swearing, let me know if I missed anything! ➖ WC : 1.6K
SECTION SONG: the color violet by tory lanez
.˚ *꒰ঌ ✦ ໒꒱ * ˚. —
apologizing was hard, but accepting an apology you didn’t believe in also proved to be difficult. there were not enough fingers on your hands to count how many times heeseung had apologized for causing you trouble.
whether he wasn’t communicating or distancing himself randomly. but his biggest issue was keeping his promises.
that was definitely something he lacked in your relationship and it was getting old. he’d fill your head with all these fantasies, sweet talking you until it was time to actually act on what he’s saying.
you used to believe him, getting your hopes high when he would tell you things but disappointed when they wouldn’t come true. now, you wouldn’t even bat a lash at anything he was saying. cause in the end it would never happen.
you sat on the bleachers in the gym, watching everyone dance around with friends or their partner. your chin rested in your hand as you thought to yourself. staying at home with a cola in your hand and watching full house play on the television screen seemed like a much better idea. you wondered why you didn’t go with that choice rather than believing heeseung when he said he’d be joining you that night.
a few guys had gave you glances, showing that they were interested and some even came up to you, but you were in no mood to move around. and even though you planned to end things with heeseung, that didn’t mean your loyalty wouldn’t remain.
before you could let your eyes wander anywhere else, one of the large double doors of the gym flew open. your eyes widened as your boyfriend entered the building, hair and suit soaked from what you assumed was rain.
his eyes hurriedly scanned through the huge crowd of high schoolers, hoping to spot you somewhere on the dance floor.
your feet had began to move down the bleachers before you could even think about it. you scrambled to the drink section hoping that he didn’t catch sight of you.
a sudden feeling of anxiousness washed over you as you poured the red beverage into the matching cup. you gulped it down, trying to rid the dryness in your mouth.
a hand on the small of your back was the reason your drink almost came back up, the sound of your coughing was heard in the small area.
“woah, take it easy on the ‘punch’, maybe?”
there he stood in front of you now, showing off his intoxicating grin. you would’ve fell all the way into his arms if you didn’t have morals.
you avoided his gaze, staring down at the empty cup. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him and say those words all at once.
“hey,” the tip of his finger came to lift your chin, doe eyes looking back into yours.
“you okay?”
you nodded, still looking up at him, feeling a bit vulnerable under his stare.
“c’mon.” he smiled again, starting to lead you toward the dance floor.
“no.” you pulled your hand away from his, remaining in your spot at the drink table.
heeseung looked at you once more, a concerned expression spreading over his features.
“what?”
“i can’t do this, heeseung.” you placed your cup to the side, finally bringing yourself to look at him.
“what.. what do you mean?”
he’d hoped you didn’t mean what he thought you meant but you did. everything that heeseung had put you through caused you anything but happiness.
“you know what i mean.” you sighed.
“baby, you don’t really mean it.” he gave you a half-hearted smile, his hand coming to caress the side of your face.
“as much as i’d hate to admit it, hee.. i do. i mean it.”
for a moment, there was only the sound of music blaring and people cheering around you. heeseung seemed like he couldn’t bring himself to say anything so you continued.
“to be honest with you, this relationship hasn’t brought me much happiness and i think that should change.” you removed his hand from your cheek as it came to rest at his side.
his body tensed up as your words seeped into his brain. this was the talk he knew that was coming but never wanted to hear.
“and i.. i just can’t continue like this, hee. not when you can’t even keep your promises.” you tried to be transparent with him but careful not to hurt him either.
“y/n, i’ll do better i-“
“will you, though? or is that just what you’ve told me the last couple of hundred times?” you tilted your head slightly.
“you know, i had to get a ride from jen and her boyfriend because you clearly forgot about tonight.” your hand came up, gesturing to his damp appearance.
he sighed, shaking his head, “look, baby, you know i didn’t mean to..”
“you never do, do you, hee?” you asked, rhetorically.
once again, he couldn’t answer to your words and could barely look you in the eye.
you took one more glance at him before walking off to another corner of the gym.
heeseung felt his eyes burning as he took the cup you were drinking from and took a sip from it.
after realizing he couldn’t stand being in the same place he had his heart broken in and with all the love songs playing, he took long strides toward the double doors he came in, now exiting through them.
the rain still came down like pellets on him as he struggled to find his dark tinted car.
he stumbled toward the door, unlocking it and sliding in the drivers seat. the engine started as the key entered the ignition and he pulled out of the school parking lot, already doing 90 in the rain.
heeseung wasn’t angry at you, per se. actually, he was quite frustrated with himself. he didn’t blame you for breaking up with him. it was his own fault that his heart got broken and that you couldn’t have the happiness that you deserved.
★ ★
milan’s note: LOL no joke this sucks ik.. i havent had the chance to write a longer fic in a while and this clearly shows but i wanted to try something new! first sentence prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting
TAGLIST: @haechansbbg @contyynishimura @sasfransisco @kgneptun @jungwonderz — message or comment to be added
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lanawinterscigarettes · 3 months ago
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um hi hallo :3 can i pls have dr gregory house x male intern reader… with feedism elements where the reader is the feeder role…….. :3
yeah, absolutely! just a disclaimer, I've never written anything relating to feedism/a feeding kink before so I'm not sure if this is all that good or not but I tried my best :]
(this IS something for kinktober just in case y'all are curious. I know because I got a previous ask for it) thanks for requesting something! <3
Kinktober 2024 Day 6: feedism (feeding kink) with Greg House x male reader
Warnings: smut/nsfw content, feedism, feedee House, feeder reader, alludes to House having slightly disordered eating, slight praise kink, belly rubbing/massaging, romanticizing/sexualizing weight gain (by the reader), brief solo masturbation from the reader at the end but no real smut other than that because I wasn't really sure how to incorporate that properly
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House wasn't like most doctors. In fact, he wasn't like most people. His bedside manner was horrible and his social interactions could definitely use some work. Something that could also use some work was his strange eating habits.
It wasn't that he didn't eat. He wasn't anorexic, and he certainly didn't care what he looked like. He just didn't always put eating at his top list of priorities.
To be quite frank, he didn't view it as something he needed to do in order to survive. He needed to have cases to figure out, or else he'd go insane. And he needed his constant supply of Vicodin in order to help chase the pain away. But he didn't need to eat in order to live. The way he viewed it, he was better than that.
Sure, he had a habit of stealing Wilson's food from him, but that was more of a power thing than anything else. The bottom line was, if he had better things to do he most likely wasn't thinking about getting fed. Was it unhealthy? Most definitely, but it also wasn't exactly healthy of him to pop a pain pill every time a muscle of his tweaked wrong. Still, he managed.
Most people didn't notice this bad habit of his, and if they did it wasn't brought up. Obviously his addiction to painkillers was much more pressing than if he skipped the occasional meal.
You, on the other hand, thought it mattered a lot more than that. You noticed how he only seemed to be in the cafeteria at the hospital if he was either with Wilson or trying to avoid Cuddy. He went there out of boredom or if he was looking to kill time, not because he thought he had to eat. This was something you were bound and determined to help him work through, regardless of whether he wanted you to or not.
If he had any idea on what you were up to, he didn't say anything about it, too busy bossing around the ducklings to waste time with yet another intern, one that didn't really interest him at that. He was quite content to carry on as usual despite the plan you were forming to get him to change his poor eating habits.
There really weren't that many places in the hospital that he went in order to get away from Cuddy, which certainly made your job of finding him a whole lot easier. His office, Wilson's office, and funnily enough the chapel were his main choices. When he couldn't be found there, you figured maybe he was in an exam room down at the clinic, pretending to work. Turned out you were right.
You listened closely outside the door to Exam Room One to see if you could hear anyone in the room besides him on the off chance that he actually was with a patient. When you didn't hear anything, you decided to knock.
"With a patient!" He called out immediately in response, not even giving you the opportunity to speak first. Typical House.
Opening the door regardless, you found the unsurprising sight of him lounging in one of the chairs while playing on his Gameboy, the sound of beeping and video game music filling the room.
"Can you come back later? I'm a little busy right now." His attention was clearly focused on his game as he didn't even look up when he spoke.
Ignoring his request, you shut the door and entered the room. "When was the last time you've eaten today? And stealing Wilson's fries at lunch doesn't count."
"Well, hello to you, too," he muttered under his breath in response, purposely avoiding the question.
You weren't having it. "I'm serious. It's not healthy for you to go so long without having a proper meal."
"Yeah, I got that. You must forget, I'm also a doctor. A real one, at that. I'm not a temp or an intern like you are, I've got tenure."
His snarky reply didn't waiver you in the slightest. "If I go get you something from the cafeteria, will you eat it?" You knew how argumentative he could be, so you did your best to appease him through offering a compromise.
"I'm not hungry right now," he stubbornly insisted as he shut off his game and stood, grabbing his cane from where it was resting in the corner so he could use it to walk with.
Sighing in exasperation, you went to stand in front of the door so he couldn't leave. "I'll get you a Rueben, cold, with no pickles. That's your favorite, right?"
He paused, seeming intrigued by your offer, if not a little suspicious as well. "Go on."
Knowing you'd finally caught his attention, you decided to continue. "I'll bring it up to you in your office, and you can eat in privacy while you avoid everyone else."
"Except for you, apparently. You seem awfully eager to keep me fed." It was true, and you knew it. You had hoped it would come across more like you were just concerned (which was technically true) but clearly he'd picked up on your own selfish reasons to want to help him.
"One sandwich, that's all I'm asking. If you don't want to do something like this again after we're done, you don't have to."
At first you thought he was going to flat out refuse, but much to your surprise he actually seemed to contemplate it for a moment or two. "One sandwich. And I'm eating it in my office, away from other people," he wagered as if you weren't the one to suggest it in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the one chance you might have, you wholeheartedly agreed to his conditions and finally stepped away from the door so he could leave. It was a bit hard for you to keep your excitement at bay at the prospect of getting to feed him, though at first you didn't know why you were so intent on it. In any case, he'd agreed, and that's what mattered.
When you got up to his office, he was already lounging in the chair behind his desk, playing absentmindedly with a rubber band. "Oh, good. You brought me my lunch. And here I thought you were going to let me starve to death after you were so insistent on feeding me in the first place."
You rolled your eyes in response to his obvious sarcasm as you set the plastic wrapped sandwich down on the desk in front of him, along with a can of soda and a bag of chips.
"Hey, you said I only had to eat the sandwich," he pointed out in a whiny voice that was in the likeness of a petulant child.
"Just eat what you can." You sat down in front of him so you could watch him eat, something that he didn't seem to appreciate judging from the way he stopped opening the wrapping on his sandwich and stared back at you.
"What, do you want to feed me yourself?" He questioned in a mocking tone, obviously under the impression that you'd get offended and hopefully say no before getting up to leave. You answer was the exact opposite.
"Okay." That was the only thing you said before you stood and made your way over, taking the sandwich from him and continuing to unwrap it before handing him half. "Eat."
The command was soft yet firm, clearly not one that was meant to be ignored. For some strange reason he felt compelled to actually listen to you, something that didn't happen with him very often. Maybe it was due to the fact that you actually seemed to care and weren't just trying to spite him, like most people.
He took it from you, his icy blue eyes gazing upwards into yours as he began to eat. It seemed as though he was deadset on proving to you that he could eat when he really wanted to.
"There you go, good job."
House didn't get flustered, he was certain of it, but something about the way you said that gave him the little push he needed to keep eating, wanting to make you proud. The thought itself was utterly ridiculous, him needing someone else's praise in order to complete such a stupid and minor task. He finally broke his gaze from yours, instead choosing to focus on the sandwich he was taking slow yet deliberate bites of.
Once he was finished with the first half, you picked up the second and held it out to him. "Do you want the second half yet, or do you want to wait a couple minutes first?"
He let out a scoff at the question, as if he were offended by it. "What, did you think I was going to save it for later?" Your lack of a reaction at his usual snarkiness caused him to push down whatever he'd planned on adding to that, choosing instead to quietly take the other half of the sandwich from you to eat.
It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling, not having his stomach ache with its usual hunger pains. He didn't always immediately listen to the needs of his body unless it was the shooting pain he typically felt in his leg when he went too long without his pain meds.
For once, his stomach didn't feel empty and desolate, like how most of his relationships tended to be. It was odd, but not unwelcome.
Somehow you managed to convince him to at least start on the soda and chips, something that he didn't regret in the slightest. Nor did he regret it when you offered to rub his stomach afterwards, knowing it might ache a bit due to the expanding it was doing from the food intake.
"There you go. See, don't you feel better after actually eating something for once?" Your voice was low and soothing, your hand warm as it made slow, circular movements on his stomach. He could feel how gentle your touch was even through his clothes.
"I guess," he grumbled, making it clear that he still wasn't overly fond of letting you take care of him, even if it was only in one small aspect of his life. "This is just a one time thing though, alright? So don't get your hopes up."
Nodding your head, you made it seem as though you were agreeing with his statement that this was the only time it would happen. You, however, knew this was only the beginning. Somehow you'd get him to form the habit of eating more frequently, even if you had to be there with him.
You imagined what it would be like, getting to feed him everyday. The thought of being able to ensure his health and wellbeing while also helping him gain a few pounds... You wondered how he'd look with a little bit of extra fat on his stomach. You wondered if it would be noticeable through those band shirts he always wore to work.
The movements of your fist wrapped around your aching cock grew faster and more needy as you recalled your memories of what had happened earlier that day. The way he so willingly trusted you to feed him and even let you rub his belly after did nothing but bring you closer and closer to the edge until your seed finally spilled out onto your hand.
You panted heavily as you laid back on the bed, your eyes fluttering shut as you tried to catch your breath. You were sure it wouldn't take him long to realize your ulterior motives behind wanting to help him eat more, but you couldn't really find it in you to care. Not when the fantasy you had of him letting you coax him into gaining a little weight was far too delicous to let go of.
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vidavalor · 5 months ago
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Hello! 👋 Just dropping in for a visit to my favourite online pub: your blog *chews on all your posts and slurps down your analyses*
I love the way you spell out the Ineffable Husband SpeakTM for us, and I was wondering what you think about Crowley’s “You don’t dance.” in 2.06, when Aziraphale asked to dance with him?
Crowley is mumbling a bit here & I wasn’t sure at first if he said “you” or “we” or something else, so I checked the subtitles as well. That aside, we know by this point that Aziraphale has done at least 3 I-Was-Wrong dances, so I wonder if Crowley is referring to something else?
Hi, @procrastiel! How's it going, love? Wouldn't say I spell anything out-- I just give my opinion-- but I appreciate the compliment! 💕Crowley's line is definitely "you don't dance" and ohh, yeah, I can deep dive on my opinion on what it means to dance. Deepest of dives-- this went everywhere. 😂 Mother of all metas for the mother of all Good Omens questions... We're having sandwiches-the-food tonight in honor of where your question crosses into God's tongue-in-cheek monologue on how many angels can get down on the heads of those Mrs. Sandwich seamstressing tools-- pins.
This is going to take a route through some heavy analysis of the argument over Gabriel and The Apology Dance and a few other things to get the root of your question, so, grab a beverage of choice before diving in. TW: Brief mentions of Satan's attacks on Crowley.
*rubs hands together and cues up the disco music* 😂
What does it mean to dance?
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When we talk about dancing, there are roughly four different meanings of the word to look at with relation to Good Omens' story.
One meaning is the first one that comes to mind for most people, which is a physical dance-- as in, moving your body, usually to music.
The music, if it exists, can be in your head, a song you're singing aloud, or one that is playing in the room-- it doesn't matter. If you're moving, any and all of it would qualify as dancing. By this measure? Crowley canonically had seen Aziraphale dance before Aziraphale asked him to dance during The Meeting Ball because, well...
...here is Aziraphale dancing in front of Crowley in the bookshop in 1941:
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Crowley's shock in 2.06 cannot be coming from never having seen Aziraphale dance at all, right? They've known each other for thousands of years and if Aziraphale was doing this fucking adorable little shuffle of excitement in the bookshop in 1941 then it's not really a stretch to assume that these two-- who canonically listen to records together in the evenings sometimes-- have danced together before.
In 1941, we see that Aziraphale liking to dance is not something he's actually hiding from Crowley because he's doing this cute little dance in front of him without a second thought. This is also interesting because one theory was that Crowley has no idea about Aziraphale liking to dance at all because he didn't appear to know about Aziraphale learning the gavotte. S2 turns that on its head a bit by saying that Crowley might not yet know about the gavotte-- we don't really know yet either way-- but he definitely does know that Aziraphale likes to dance and he was unsurprised to see him doing so in 1941.
The key thing here is that when they have danced together or in front of one another before? It was likely only in the privacy of the bookshop or another place like it. It was just the two of them.
When Crowley says "you don't dance" to Aziraphale, he's not meaning that Aziraphale doesn't dance at all. He's meaning something more expansive, as we'll look at with the other meanings of dancing below.
The second meaning is a verbal dance. These are interactions between more than one person in which the back-and-forth of what is being spoken has the give-and-take quality of a dance.
There can be different types of verbal dancing. Crowley and Aziraphale's word-nerdy flirting is a kind of verbal dance. It's a birdsong mating dance, especially since they are so hot for words. Being able to verbally entice and keep up with a partner makes flirting-- especially their kind of it-- a kind of dance and it's one they've been doing for thousands of years and both enjoy.
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Another type of verbal dance between long-time partners is one that could be dubbed, as Crowley and Aziraphale call it, an "I Was Wrong" dance. This is an apology between partners who had an argument but want to get beyond it. No matter what you think the nature of Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship is, they've known each other for thousands of years and are de facto partnership married at this point so they have An Apology Routine TM. People who have been together a long time and who have the occasional spat often tend to fall into a rhythm with their apologies, knowing what needs to be said to just get to the other side of it, which they'd like to do as soon as possible because they miss each other and don't like being in conflict with one another.
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When Aziraphale says he wants "a proper apology... with the little dance" as Crowley tries to get away with not doing the verbal dance that he knows he's going to end up doing lol, what Aziraphale means is that he wants the back-and-forth verbal dance they do as an apology. He doesn't want to just ignore what happened because he was really pissed and he's telling Crowley that he'd appreciate an actual apology and a bit of groveling before he's willing to let it go and move on.
The "little dance" in question isn't a physical dance-- it's basically the same apology dance we saw Crowley do back in S1 here:
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When Crowley claimed he doesn't "do the dance" in S2, they both knew that wasn't true and so did we, really, because *points to the above gif* there's Crowley doing the dance in the middle of the street in S1. Claiming he doesn't "do the dance" is sometimes part of the dance if Crowley is the one apologizing as, unless Hell is actively, in that moment, trying to kill him-- like they were in S1-- he gets squirmy about apologies, even if he always eventually says them.
The reason why Crowley does the physical dance that he does during The Apology Dance is actually off of Aziraphale being just as dryly self-deprecating about the two of them and their relationship as Crowley winds up showing he is with The Apology Dance. It's rooted in Aziraphale's use of the word proper.
That word falls into the category in their speak of words like wily, thwart, smitten, demon, fiend, etc.. that have wildly contrasting meanings where they can be said on one level to mean one thing that is acceptable to an audience of angels, demons, or humans, but that also, on another level and within Crowley and Aziraphale's speak, has a funnier, more sexualized meaning.
Proper has an understood meaning of being something that is correct, acceptable, and appropriate. It means decent and respectable. It has a connotation that suggests that something deemed proper falls within the generally-accepted social rules of a society.
Within that word, though? Is the word prop.
I probably do not need to further define that but one sense of the word prop is that it is a theatrical term to describe an object being used in a play. From this, it also come to mean an object being used in sexual play. The humor for Crowley and Aziraphale comes from the fact that proper is a word related to what is considered acceptable in society while bedroom activities involving props have historically been considered "deviant" by those same societies.
The word exists in the sexual meaning in several other scenes in Good Omens. Such as:
Aziraphale in 1941 flirting with Crowley in the magic shop by using the silver rings magic trick as an innuendo-laden stand-in for handcuffs and going on about having a "gift for prop"... and in 2019, when Crowley joked that Aziraphale did not need to do his literal magic act because: "You can do proper magic. You can make things disappear."
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Words containing the word thin relate to Crowley and disappear/appear are words with a root meaning of to come into view-- heavy emphasis on the to come part. Crowley sounds like he's talking about Aziraphale's supernatural magic abilities (and he likely also is lol) but he's wording it in such a way as to be really referring to Aziraphale's other skills as a true magician in bed.
Aziraphale, hilariously, teasing Crowley back by joking that making him come is not as fun as pulling a coin out of his ear 😂:
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This is also the joke around Aziraphale doing things like popping into view from around corners or doorways or, in my favorite, from the other side of The Bentley in S2, as well as things like Crowley apparating into a space to see Aziraphale. They're magical so they can apparate-- literally appear and disappear from view-- and would do so to meet up with one another at times, as we've seen. It's a visual joke on appear/disappear and the verb to come.
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There is also the hilarious "only I can properly thwart the wiles of the demon Crowley" from the deleted 1800 bookshop opening scene-- a sentence made up basically entirely of words with double meaning that make them sound like Aziraphale is saying to Gabriel and Sandalphon that he's the only one who can correctly stop Crowley's evil demonicness when he's also, with the same words, trying to alert Crowley, who has just arrived in the doorway, to the fact that the angels are here to recall him by saying a sentence that is like: but you can't take me back to Heaven! I'm the only one who has the first clue how to shag Crowley right.
So, in S2, Aziraphale is being a bit arch when he says he wants "a proper apology." They both know that he means it in terms of saying he wants a genuine, decent apology and nothing more than that. His dryness in choice and delivery of the word proper is Aziraphale being tongue-in-cheek with Crowley and aligning their history of well-balanced, healthy, sexual power dynamics with the fact that their argument was, at the core, a lot about aspects of trust and control that they *both* struggle with outside of their proper bedroom, where things are very different.
The argument was really a perfect storm of triggering both of their traumas and they both, technically, were right and wrong about things. Aziraphale's apology dance is, essentially, the whole 'our car/our bookshop' that becomes the rest of the season. The reason why it's Crowley doing The Apology Dance, though, is actually less about the subject matter of their argument and more about which one of them fucked up when it came to the stuff the argument shows us that they're working on together.
The argument over Gabriel actually shows us the extent to which they're a couple, in that they've clearly talked about working on things they do which trigger each other's trauma and are trying to be better at it. They're proactively working at trying to get better at arguing, which is the most married thing in creation. This is also indicative of both of them trying to manage different traumas and PTSD that they have and doing the best they can do while still not yet able to fully escape the root causes of those difficulties. That is something which any therapist will tell you is nearly impossible to do but they are both trying anyway and doing a pretty good job of it actually, all things considered. Where can we see this in the argument over Gabriel?
It is in that they each both do something when upset that is a trigger for the other's trauma and has, in the past, caused their discussions to implode, and how they both handle that with one another during this argument. When Aziraphale gets upset and anxious, his anger can take the form of saying words he doesn't mean-- words that are often completely and utterly absurd from an objective standpoint. Think of the bandstand argument, for instance, and Aziraphale's ludicrous attempt to say that he and Crowley aren't friends and-- the best one lol-- that he doesn't even like Crowley.
The audience and Crowley alike know this is bullshit and so does Aziraphale but it's the product of Heaven being a place of emotional repression and Aziraphale's perfectionism, which makes him feel like he's not supposed to ever actually feel the depression and anxiety and anger that he does. When upset, this bubbles up in him and explodes and the results are words he doesn't mean that make him feel terrible, further contribute to his pattern of negative self-thoughts, and hurt Crowley.
In S2, we might also notice, Aziraphale phrases his go-to of telling Crowley it's over as a defense mechanism as saying that Crowley is "at liberty to go", which has an implication that a certain amount of staying was occurring. While Crowley isn't living in the shop to the extent that he's there in the mornings because they're still trying not to get caught, this plus things like "we both get plenty of use out of it [the bookshop], don't we?" indicate that Aziraphale never really notices that Crowley no longer has his flat because Crowley just kind of lives in the bookshop now. He's there every day, to a point that Aziraphale defaulting to his usual anger response of breaking up with Crowley when upset is now phrased in such a way as to try to kick him out of the house. Crowley, though, knows better-- just like how Aziraphale knows better where Crowley's own issues are concerned.
Even though Crowley knows Aziraphale doesn't mean what he says when he's upset and is patient about it (the not even batting an eyelash "you doooo" in response to "I don't even like you" in the bandstand argument), it still hurts. So, that's what Aziraphale is trying to work on and we see that Crowley is working on it with him, an example of that being when Aziraphale is starting to lose it during the Gabriel argument and Crowley's response to it:
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Crowley is basically saying honey, you're doing the thing-- and it works. This is what they've agreed upon as a way that Crowley can help Aziraphale when he's upset. He points out that Aziraphale is doing the thing he does, which seems to be something they've agreed on as a strategy for communicating better. He gives Aziraphale room to take a breath and say what he really means. Expressing how he really feels when the emotions are not positive ones is hard for Aziraphale because it involves admitting that he has these emotions in the first place.
So, Aziraphale does his part in their agreement and he rephrases what he was saying into what he actually means: that he would love for Crowley to help him with Gabriel but that if he won't, he won't. He is open about how he feels, which is Aziraphale doing what they agreed to do, and is a world of difference from how they were fighting before. He also expresses it in an especially positive way, as he uses words like 'love' and 'help' to say how he feels and what he needs.
This is why it's Crowley who winds up doing The Apology Dance.
What Crowley does in an argument that triggers Aziraphale is to leave. While, technically, sometimes leaving for a breath is not a terrible strategy in an argument, Crowley's tendency to leave is a flight-or-fight PTSD response that stems from a lack of trust in anyone but himself (and, honestly, often not even himself) to keep him safe. It's honestly not how he really feels about Aziraphale, whom he actually does trust with himself, but he sometimes lets fear and anxiety overwhelm him when triggered by situations in a way that relates to his past traumatic experiences.
Just as Aziraphale's struggle with his more volatile emotions is understandable considering what he's been through, so is Crowley's tendency to panic and bolt. The problem is that, just as Aziraphale's angry words can hurt Crowley, even if he understands where they come from and knows Aziraphale doesn't mean them, Crowley's tendency to leave hurts Aziraphale because it feels to him that Crowley doesn't trust him to make decisions that would keep Crowley safe.
They both are aware that their knee-jerk reactions of running away or sniping in anger are trauma responses and not terribly logical but they're both working on trying to heal enough to not have those responses with one another. In S2, they're stuck trying to manage all of that while still living in an environment that is dangerous for them and in which Armageddon could be around the corner again at any moment-- making it obviously harder to deal with things and also making the fact that they are both doing reasonably well with it all the more impressive and an indicator of how good they are for one another.
(It also makes the end of S2-- a series of miscommunications, some of which are not even their fault, that led to epic fucking disaster-- even more devastating because it doesn't actually reflect the healthy relationship that the beginning of the season emphasizes exists.)
Compounding these issues and part of why they're trying to work on them is that both of them trigger each other's PTSD when they react like this.
Aziraphale's words in anger and his tendency to push Crowley away leave Crowley feeling less secure around the one person who otherwise is the safest person he's ever met while Crowley's tendency to bolt in a panic, instead of staying and working through things, triggers Aziraphale's fear of abandonment (both in general and with Crowley) and, even more so, his terror over losing Crowley.
He's never sure when Crowley goes out the door if he's ever coming back because it's not really safe for him out there and S2 illustrates that Aziraphale has real trauma dating back to the time Crowley was taken in front of him in 1827, shown in him going to the spot in Edinburgh in the present where he lost Crowley and needing to call him from it to hear his voice. And, well, also to get a bonus praise kinky little boost from his partner for a job well done on working on his trauma stuff:
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So, long story short, the argument they have over what to do about Gabriel's arrival really illustrates the extent to which they're both trying to manage a great deal of trauma together and, to help one another to do so, they have put some strategies into place for trying to do that more effectively. Aziraphale kept to his end of the bargain in this argument. He used more productive and open words to express how he was feeling. Crowley, though, did not hold up his end of the bargain here. He did when it came to helping Aziraphale with Aziraphale's part of it but he didn't when it came to managing his own trauma.
To be fair to Crowley? This situation was basically the exact perfect storm of a trigger for his PTSD and neither he nor Aziraphale are really going to be able to get much of anywhere significant with healing until all of this Heaven & Hell stuff is over in S3. So, that he fucked this up here is both sympathetic and not terribly surprising. It's also the root of him then spending the season reassuring Aziraphale that he's coming back and part of why he goes out the door in the end of 2.06 but he stays by the car. But, when it comes to just this argument over Gabriel in 2.01, it was Crowley who didn't try and that made Aziraphale upset.
This is where, though, that The Apology Dance shows that they're actually pretty healthy about arguing overall. Just the mention of this having existing for ages is establishing that trying to be better at disagreeing and having this little routine for getting back to a good place and starting to talk more after they've argued is not just something that has existed post-S1 but has been going on for, at minimum, hundreds of years, if not a whole lot longer. In essence, The Apology Dance exists as a bridge back to a place where they are less reactive and can talk through what's upsetting them-- which a lot of evidence suggests they are actually very good at doing with one another.
So, when Aziraphale tells Crowley that he wants "a proper apology", he's already injecting some humor into the moment, even if he is serious about not letting Crowley just skip over genuinely saying he is sorry. He is upset but he also loves Crowley and he's aware that the situation was pretty much the ultimate trigger for Crowley. It's just difficult for Aziraphale to watch because he wants Crowley to feel safe enough to heal more from a lot of this and feels like that he can't fully provide that, even if he is doing everything in his power to help Crowley with it. In a way, it's a foreshadowing how Aziraphale is going to fall in the end of S2 over the temptation of power that he thinks might help Crowley be safe.
The reason why Aziraphale chooses to use the word proper in saying he wants an apology-- and in that particularly dry tone-- is because he is very, very pissed that Crowley walked out the door rather than trusted him to have not put him into danger with Gabriel and to help him manage the situation. He's pointing out that Crowley trusts him implicitly in so many other ways, with the use of the wordplay there being a reference to the fact that he and Crowley have a healthy balance of power and an enormous amount of trust in their relationship overall, for which Aziraphale is using their positive sexual power dynamics as an example.
As different scenes have illustrated, when they mess around with those dynamics, they switch off allowing one another a sense of control over the other, even if the overall dynamics of such situations are never as cut-and-dry as that. The point is that Aziraphale's use of proper here is a direct reference to the fact that Crowley went out the door in a panic-stricken fit earlier but they both know that Crowley does trust Aziraphale to a great degree, and a great example of that to Aziraphale is the fact that Crowley-- as eleven hundred scenes in the show suggest lol-- is very into letting Aziraphale restrain him in bed. The reason why we even know this is because of how the show uses aspects of their sexuality to illustrate the level of trust and intimacy in their relationship.
Just as the wall slam scene in S1 exists to make it abundantly clear how much Aziraphale trusts Crowley and how he has nothing to fear from him by contrasting that with Aziraphale's response to being jumped by the angels in the street, the scenes that are referring to them using restraints, while illustrating that they both do, are centered around Crowley's thing for it, in particular, to help illustrate that he has the same kind of trust in and feeling of safety with Aziraphale that Aziraphale does with him.
The reason why Crowley liking to be tied up or handcuffed is given weight enough that it's a recurring thing mentioned in the story is because of how it's a different level of trust for him than it might be for someone else. While the wall slam scene contrasts Aziraphale's safety with Crowley versus the abuse of the angels, the handcuff thing is showing that Crowley, who is a survivor of attacks that render him unable to move or otherwise assert any control over himself and who has demonstrable PTSD from it, trusts Aziraphale enough and feels safe with him enough to explore with him the complexities of being a survivor of attacks involving a loss of control who also finds sometimes being restrained and giving up some control in bed arousing.
So, Aziraphale's "proper apology" is dryly mocking both of their control and trust issues by use of an example of a place in their relationship where they handle those issues without conflict, and that's in the great communication and ease of care for one another in bed. With use of proper, Aziraphale is subtly pointing out that Crowley is an assault survivor who trusts Aziraphale to him tie him up but he runs out of other situations in a panic, which is an example of the lack of logic that can occur in the face of trauma sometimes. It helps to prove how ridiculous they both are really being in general.
Which Crowley agrees with. Because he knows he was. Trauma isn't logical, it's knee-jerk emotional, and he felt bad about storming out and even worse when he found out from Beez what the repercussions of not helping might be so he's come back, heard the 'proper' comment, and is like fine, yes, you're right. We're ridiculous. I was ridiculous.
This is healthy as all fuck:
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It matches the humor Aziraphale put in around his genuine anger with additional humor. It's self-deprecating and ego-free, just an admittance of having messed up and showing he's sorry by being a little ridiculous because how he reacted earlier, he knows, was also a little ridiculous. There's the hearing of proper and responding to that with a mock-submissive, self-deprecating, little dance and a bow and scrape. There's a dry, affectionate mocking of the two of them and their long history of apology conversations that all boil down to the lyrics of the little song Crowley makes up here: "You were right, you were right, I was wrong, and you were right."
The tongue-in-cheek vibe of Yes, you're correct. Are you satisfied now, my king? that pokes gentle fun at both of them and that actually winds up illustrating just how much trust and love there is between them as a result.
Aziraphale finding it hilarious to a point that he's working hard not to laugh long enough to respond with equal humor with the little soft dom-ish "very nice" and then miming a kiss at Crowley showing that they are actually good at this. They allow each other to be imperfect, know how to talk openly about how that makes them feel, and can recover from an argument with humor and affection.
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This is also a good example of Crowley being supportive of Aziraphale expressing emotions and of Aziraphale trusting Crowley as someone safe to do that around. Aziraphale told Crowley exactly how he felt and what he needed here in a clear way that expressed his anger and frustration without descension into anything harmful and Crowley listened, acknowledged those emotions, and responded in a way that was supportive and positive.
The argument over Gabriel and The Apology Dance is what their relationship is really like when they can speak openly and directly to one another because they have the safety and privacy to do so. They actually do know how to talk to one another and they do it very well. Their present situation as of the end of S2 is more of a nightmare of unfortunate events and misunderstandings and it actually took a lot to get it to go that wrong because, normally, as we can see? It's relatively easy for them to get it right.
So, Crowley's Apology Dance was both verbal and a literal dance, yes, but Aziraphale's bemused response to it indicates he wasn't expecting the literal dance and the fact that Crowley made up and did the literal dance off of Aziraphale's use of proper, as we looked at, indicates that it was something he did for the first time in that moment, rather than how The Apology Dance usually goes.
The usual nature of Crowley and Aziraphale's "I Was Wrong" Dance is strictly verbal.
We can tell this by one of the years in which Aziraphale mentions that he did an "I Was Wrong" dance in the past: 1793.
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When Aziraphale shows that he's really hurt by Crowley leaving and needs him to apologize, he lists three, prior times when it was Aziraphale who had fucked something up between them and was the one doing The Apology Dance as a result. The three years he uses as shorthand are 1650, 1793 and 1941. While we don't know anything about 1650 right now... and while we know about 1941 but not how it ends so maybe not yet quite enough to say we know why Aziraphale was doing an apology dance (though I would argue that maybe 1941 itself is a bit of a joint apology dance)... the one year here we do know enough about to use to inform our opinion about what their apology dances usually are is 1793.
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What Aziraphale is apologizing for in 1793 is the rescue scenario winding up a bit of a disaster because of Aziraphale neglecting to take into account that if Jean-Claude The Executioner was having that much fun cutting people's heads off, he probably was disturbing in other ways as well. While Crowley covers up his reaction to apparating into the room just as Aziraphale is saying "no" and Jean-Claude is trying to get his clothes off, by the end of the scene, we see that Crowley is more bothered than he was letting on.
Jean-Claude becomes the only human in the entire series to date that we ever see Crowley intentionally push straight towards Hell and, in doing so, he renders Jean-Claude unable to form more than muted sounds of protest-- not at all projecting his own experiences of assault onto him or anything. Crowley makes the very dark joke that's in the above gif, savagely mocking a so-common-it's-cliche victim-blaming response to rape, making it clear in doing so what's been brought up for him as a result of what he saw when he first came into the room. Crowley is half out of it for the last moments of the scene and, at one point, sniffs like he's trying not to cry. Aziraphale had meant for it to be a fun, dashing-hero-to-the-rescue type of thing but the torture-happy prison cell atop the trauma trigger is what would make Aziraphale feel the need to apologize afterwards, even though Crowley knew he didn't intend any harm.
So, ask yourself this: did Aziraphale apologize for that by doing a silly dance?
I really don't think he did...
It wouldn't have been appropriate. The last thing Aziraphale would have done then is make light of how they both were feeling about something relating to this kind of trauma. It's not to say there wasn't any humor involved-- particularly, their form of really dark gallows humor-- but not in the midst of the genuine, actual apology. Aziraphale's "I Was Wrong" dance in 1793 was a back-and-forth of him verbally apologizing and Crowley insisting that it was fine and then Aziraphale, more or less, you were right and I was wrong-ing with other words until they both were okay to talk more and move forward.
Both of them were alright as a result and clearly had a memorable time in Paris afterwards, as Aziraphale is referencing it as a good example of the two of them working through things together in a positive way when he tells Crowley that Paris, 1793 is what he "wants for lunch" in 2008.
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It's really why Aziraphale says he wants 1793 in the first place, when they have a zillion other times he could have referenced. The scene in 2008 is taking place after Crowley went missing the night before on assignment for Hell. Aziraphale doesn't need to be told by this point that Crowley was hurt but they've been in public the entire time since they've met up so there has not yet been a moment to try to really acknowledge it. By bringing up Paris 1793 in response to Crowley saying he wants to lunch, Aziraphale is using it as a shorthand to convey both that he's aware and that they'll handle it, like they always do, and it will all be alright. Paris 1793 seems like it is a particularly memorable example of them managing that to them, so it's the one that Aziraphale brings up.
This also accounts for the discrepancy in Aziraphale's expressions in 2008 when he talks about this particular time. When he first mentions Paris 1793, his response is layered. There's regret mixed in there. Pain. Complicated emotions. His smile to Crowley is kind of flat, like he's trying to remain more upbeat than he actually feels.
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It's very different from the cheer of we had crepes! that emerges after Crowley's response to the suggestion is positive. It speaks to Paris 1793 being more complex than only the fun, memorable romp in France that it also was.
So, this would mean that The Apology Dance is usually a verbal thing, even though Crowley did a literal dance along with it in S2. This actually is not terribly surprising because Crowley and Aziraphale's language is an exercise in the literal and the figurative.
Everything in it physically exists as well as figuratively exists and that's part of the fun of it for them. It all has to work on the surface level as well as on other levels. There are literal crepes and figurative crepes, for example, while we're on the 1793 topic. Literal fish-- sushi, gravlax in dill sauce, etc..-- and figurative fish, like the two of them. When Aziraphale asked for "the little dance" of light grovel with the apology, Crowley did that by also giving him a literal dance to go along with their traditionally verbal dance. Why? Because Aziraphale called their apology routine a figurative "little dance", so Crowley gave him a literal one to go with it. Eventually, all the figurative has to be at least a little literal in some way. It's why God made sure that an actual nightingale-the-bird was actually singing in Berkeley Square at the end of S1 as her last language lesson to us. There were then now literal angels dining at The Ritz so a literal nightingale sang in literal Berkeley Square.
The S2 Apology Dance is likely then the first Apology Dance that involved a physical dance. I'm not sure that there were others in the past but I think there definitely will be more going forward and that's a good thing since a bit of silliness is very healthy. 😊
Ok, so, back to the "you don't dance" moment... remember ten years ago when I said there were roughly four meanings of dance?
We've defined two of them already: a literal, physical dance and a verbal dance. The other two are the dance of society and dance as sexual euphemism. Historically, these weren't always mutually exclusive things and Good Omens overlaps them in some ways a bit as well.
The dance of society is being an open, active participant in your society. Even though Aziraphale basically built the society around him through being the founder of the street, we've seen how he tends to keep himself one step removed from life on Whickber Street.
It's best summed up by his relationship to The Whickber Street Shopkeepers & Traders Association: he is a member of it but, until S2, he's never hosted the monthly meeting. He doesn't fully see himself as one of them because, as an angel, he's not supposed to want any of this human living stuff, even if he desperately does. He has imposter syndrome for days, feeling like he's always about to be exposed as not really one of them.
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Aziraphale does enjoy himself at times. He does engage with the world around him. He just doesn't allow himself to belong to it and his reasons for doing so are not only about his angel feelings.
The human world hasn't always been a place where he fit, either.
It's only been very recently in history-- and Aziraphale has seen literally *all* of history-- when it has been comparatively safe enough for people like him and Crowley to live more openly. It's still not completely safe, obviously and unfortunately, but there is more general acceptance now, more acknowledged human rights and more laws to help secure those rights.
The things that Crowley was hoping were around the corner in 1967-- when England decriminalized homosexual sex between men over the age of 21 and he suggested that maybe he and Aziraphale could go for broke and try being less of a secret-- actually are here by the present of the story in both S1 and S2.
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A lot of that is at the root of the humor in S2 as Gabriel's presence in the shop forces Crowley and Aziraphale out onto Whickber Street in the daylight for the first time and creates scenarios in which the shopkeepers-- chiefly, Nina-- are throwing them off by being more comfortable with having their relationship be acknowledged publicly than they are. Part of the joke is that they're still closeted in London Soho in the year 2023 and the humans cannot understand why because Crowley and Aziraphale can't tell them that it's their supernatural world causing them to remain a secret.
It is only relatively recently in human history that people at formal social gatherings like the ones in England that Aziraphale has been to for years danced with anybody they felt like, regardless of relationship or lack thereof to that person. For many years, while someone might stand up with the occasional maiden aunt out of politeness or whatever, most of the time, a request for a slot on a dance card was a declaration of romantic intent. It was done within the public eye and, while matchmaking was often economical more than romantic, it was at the heart of how society functioned.
To dance, in that sense, was to be a part of society.
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Aziraphale was never a part of society in that way. Not just because he's an angel who is supposed to remain above the human fray but because he is queer and society, for a long time, was not built to openly accept him. He was on the fringes of it for both supernatural and human reasons. From what we've seen, literal, physical dancing has always been something of a metaphor for this struggle for Aziraphale.
When Crowley says that Aziraphale doesn't dance-- and it's really more, as we've seen, that Aziraphale doesn't dance in public-- what he means it that Aziraphale keeps himself back from being a fully engaged part of the group, out of a fear that it's not for him because both the supernatural and the human worlds have been teaching him for a long time that it is not.
To host a meeting of the local business association and have everyone to his house for a party... to have Gabriel and Maggie under the same roof... to have everyone knowing that Crowley is his partner... to be able to openly dance with Crowley in front of others like the couple that they are, in the same way that the Chengs and Mutt and his spouse are?
That is to dance.
That is Aziraphale trying for a life he's never had before.
It is this form of dancing-- the dance of society-- that Crowley has never seen Aziraphale do before and why he is so in shock when Aziraphale asks him to dance.
This is where we have to talk about what this has to do with the gavotte, the photo from 1941, Mrs. Sandwich, Duns Scotus, and disco... 🪩Yes, I know. Lots to chat about. 😊
Back in S1, as Crowley traps Hastur in his answering machine, we are treated to one of the best parts of God's narration: Her cheeky take on the human philosophical debate around the question:
"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"
The phrase comes from Protestant theologians in the 17th century who were mocking Catholic scholastics like Thomas Aquinas and Duns Scotus-- whose name is quite literally the origin of the word dunce, so overt was the mocking of these dudes' ideas. The show via Crowley also is referring to Duns Scotus in Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings when Crowley mocks the demons by spelling 'residence' as 'residunce' in Aziraphale's entry, joking with him about the fact that the demons will not be able to understand what the entries really contain. So, why the mocking of Duns Scotus and pals?
While it's not totally know if they ever did debate this question exactly, questions very much like it were debated in their circle and others in different parts of the world and these philosophers would get a bit in the weeds in the wrong direction with things. This isn't to say there is a right or a wrong way to think so much as to say the way they chose to approach questions like this was full of absurd focus on the least consequential things someone could look at and failing to really think about how considering these questions at all could impact their understanding of the world around them and contribute to making that world better.
They were not asking questions like: do angels exist in the first place? If they do, do they dance? If so, what makes them want to dance? What would it say about angels and living-- and us and living-- if angels did dance? Why the fuck would they want to dance on the head of a pin when they could dance anywhere? 😂 What does it say about us and our views on angels and ourselves that we're spending a great deal of time and resources debating questions about beings that we cannot even prove fucking exist in the first place?
Instead of considering anything like that, Duns Scotus and pals would spend time just working on the most arcane details of angelic and demonic existences-- on things like trying to figure out if angels could exist in more than one place at once or how small they could get and how they would get that small and how many of them could fit on the proverbial head of a pin and still dance on there?
You know... real, relevant, thought-provoking, big picture questions that we've all asked ourselves at one time or another. 😂
Those mocking questions like this made the question "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" a kind of catch-all for pointless debate and it has since become a shorthand phrase meaning basically a bullshit question of no relevance, the debate over which is a colossal fucking waste of time.
Some scholars went so far as to blame those engaging in this type of debate as being responsible for the fall of Constantinople, saying that basically these scholars were sitting around listening to themselves talk on absurd things of no importance to such an extent that it caused mass death and collapsed an empire.
It might be of note then that this question is so notoriously tied to the fall of Constantinople that Good Omens might be winking at the fact that angels dancing around a seamstress might be a prelude to Aziraphale's fall, which some of us think is what's happening at the end of S2.
So, when Hastur and Crowley go into Crowley's answering machine, God jumps in with a little wink to this question in an effort to prevent anyone from focusing on the single most non-important question in all of Good Omens:
How did they get into the answering machine?
The answer to that is that it doesn't matter. They're magical-- that's the answer.
It's not to say that there is not a ton of small detail in Good Omens worth exploring-- and other scenes encourage doing just that, like Shakespeare's "in your role as the audience, could you give us something more to work with?-- but the details worth looking at are ones that will underscore what the story is saying in a bigger picture, thematic sort of way.
God's point here is that if you're hung up on the Magical Technical Whateverness that is stuff like how the angels and demons travel, you're being a bit of a Duns Scotus and trying to solve a mystery that the show has zero intention of ever making be relevant to anything and doesn't really consider much of a mystery in the first place. You can sit there until you're blue in the face doing calculations and looking up scientific explanations and it just simply does not matter. You're barking up the wrong tree because the thing you're talking about has no significant relevance to the story.
"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" is basically the olden days, scholarly equivalent of rolling your eyes at half the comments in an online discussion for any sci-fi show that has ever existed. My friend and I call this kind of debate 'Photon Torpedo Jerk-Off' and what I mean by that is this: if you watch an episode of, say, Star Trek, and you think the most important thing to talk about that happened in the episode you just watched is whether or not these writers were accurate about the range of the photon torpedoes when they had the Enterprise blow up that Klingon warship, then you have missed the point of the episode entirely. If you're sitting around arguing about the sci-fi magical Whatever Tech and not talking about the story you've watched, you don't understand the point of what you've watched.
In Good Omens, the reason why God's monologue about how many angels can dance on the head a pin begins when it does is because it is a very sly joke on Duns Scotus-like debate, using the fact that the questions that were absurd to consider in real life are actually-- hilariously-- among the most pertinent to consider where Good Omens is concerned.
God brings up the pin-dancing question as a way to answer the question of what's happening with Crowley and Hastur going through the answering machine. She amusingly doesn't really answer the question and, instead, starts going on about the parts of "how many angel can dance on the head of a pin?" that should have been the bits being debated-- like whether or not angels dance at all and what if means that they do. Basically, Good Omens' response to how the answering machine bit works is "something something electrons" and they're proud of it and they should be because it doesn't fucking matter, which is why God's monologue in the answering machine sequence is really all about the bigger questions of the show and not the Duns Scotus-y question of "but how are they traveling through the telephone system exactly?" God simply just says that they are and moves onto more relevant things.
Even though the original debate over questions like "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" was theological and philosophical, the thoughts behind the absurdity of it very much apply to interpreting works of art. Because of its ties to religion and to angels, it makes for a very humorous way of telling the Good Omens audience that they will not really be explaining much of anything regarding to the technical whatzits of how angels and demons travel through electricity and things like that because that could not be less relevant to understanding the story.
The question "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?", at one point, also had several variants. One was the same question but wondering how many demons could dance on the head of a pin, while others involved whether or not angels were "sexless"-- a question that was so confusing at the time that several sub-variants emerged as a result because people weren't entirely sure what that question meant...
Was the question asking if angels had a biological sex-- and, if so, was it asking if they had sex organs? Was it asking if the angels had a form of gender which, at the time and with these theologians, was mostly a question of whether or not angels could be what humans would have called male or female, with gender binary ideas of what that would mean intact? Many others thought a question of whether or not angels were sexless might be more directly about whether or not angels had sex.
(Amusingly, that question didn't really ever get asked about demons, as the sexuality around demonic lore has always been pretty notorious.)
The problem with these questions being asked by theologians is that they never took the opportunity to reflect on what it might say about humans and our societies that we thought these the most pertinent questions to answer about angels and demons. They never stopped and thought about the fact that to ask these questions meant they were not sure that this supernatural world that they believed in had the same sort of structure when it came to things like gender, sex and sexuality that humans do and how that is where the more interesting thoughts exist. Just by asking those questions, you could start to follow a path that maybe suggested that they were different from humans and it might be better if humans emulated some of those ideas, right?
But that's definitely not where these guys took this...
When scholastics would approach questions like this, they'd do so to make the concepts of angels and demons fit more securely into the worldview they were promoting. The very conservative would usually say that angels were genderless and also usually "above" sex and things like this reinforced their holiness. The demons could usually fuck because they were evil and nephilim and the like made for the usual brand of good, scary, weirdly sexual Bible stuff. The ones that did think that angels did gender thought angels thought about it in the same very rigidly binary and traditional ways of most societies.
In other words? Theologians took the mythical creatures of angels and demons and made their theories about them fit human societies to further their own, human goals, instead of using angels and demons to reflect upon those human societies and consider how different viewpoints might improve them.
Good Omens is completely sending up this mindset.
In Good Omens, the supernatural characters are a way of poking fun at these kind of humans who approach ideas about what angels and demons might be like with such rigidity and treat their fellow humans in the same way. The angels and demons are basically all queer in human terms by default because, in Heaven/Hell, gender is a constellation, biological sex is a 'do whatever you want with that, if anything at all', and, just like with the humans, asexuality and sexuality and everything along every possible spectrum related to it all exist. For the most part, human prejudice does not exist-- though prejudice itself does, in the form of the "other"-izing of the demons. Some of that human prejudice has slipped through-- see: Sandalphon-- but it's not as ubiquitous as it is on Earth.
The angels and demons in Good Omens come from a world where everyone is sort of assumed straight-out-of-the-box non-binary by default and queerness is more normalized because when your concept of gender begins without rigid ideas about what that is, damn near everyone winds up being what humans would refer to as queer because that umbrella is then basically anyone other than a cisgendered, heterosexual person... and what is a cisgendered, heterosexual person when gender is design-your-own-concept-of-this from the get-go? How would anyone be heterosexual, when the definition of that is rooted in binary views on gender that do not exist in the supernatural world of Good Omens?
The point of all of it is that if humans thought this way about one another more, the world would be a better place. Good Omens is a story about angels and demons that is using them to ask questions about humanity of a lot more value than "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" but, ironically? Some questions that come about as a result of considering that question in a different way-- as God helps us to do with her monologue-- like the question of whether or not angels dance and consideration of what that might mean-- are examples of some of best questions to ask to get to the heart of what Good Omens is saying and what it's story is all about.
In Good Omens, neither the supernatural world nor the human world are perfect. The supernatural characters seek to learn how to really live from the humans but the humans have a thing or two to learn about themselves that the supernatural beings-- with their choose-your-own-adventure ideas relating to gender, in particular-- could show them when it comes to true freedom.
If we made like the supernatural world of Good Omens and placed less focus on defining and labeling gender and sexuality in such strict terms and just looked at everyone else as fellow people and let people present themselves as they like and identify as they like and be attracted to who they're attracted to and love who they love, we'd just be seeing each other all as people-- which is what we all are.
It's also the point of the intentional vagueness of Gabriel's whole situation during his naked arrival in 2.01.
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There is a fuckton happening in this scene but one of the biggest is the decision to make it unclear as to what was behind the box-- and that's the point. Are there a couple of hints here and there? Sure. You can make arguments in different directions and, for sure, the decision to make it vague, instead of including a suggestion that Gabriel's for sure Don Drapering it in that moment is a whole decision in and of itself. The point, though, is not to fixate on determining what, if any, situation Gabriel was rocking during his rather challenging Monday morning in S2 but to just ask yourself why it would matter to know?
There's nothing wrong with some idle curiosity, I don't think, but the ambiguity is the point. What would it matter if Gabriel was running in angelic neutral or sporting, as I think the scene is suggesting, some lady parts for the morning? It doesn't change anything about Gabriel because only humans would look at Gabriel and assume that he has a penis and find it shocking if he didn't because many of us are that limited in thought. Only humans would box (bad, unintentional pun lol) him into pronouns as a result and try to tell him that he can't use he/him if he sometimes doesn't have that penis.
All these humans are looking at his body and judging it-- who gives them the right?
Whatever you feel about Gabriel, you do feel for him in that moment because no one deserves to have their body judged by a zillion critical strangers... and isn't that what many of us are doing online? Isn't that what a lot of humans do about everything from gender to sexuality to weight and looks? We categorize and label and put all of these parameters on meeting the standards of those categories when none of it matters and everyone is unique and beautiful in their own ways.
The genius of the supernatural characters in Good Omens is that, in so many ways, they are not free and a lot of their issues overlap with those of the humans but in real, fundamental ways, they have default mindsets that humanity could really benefit from adopting. The Gabriel arrival scene underlines it by turning the camera back around on us by showing us an example of a very masculine person by traditional human standards, implying that his genitalia might differ from what we've been conditioned to expect from a person with his looks, and then making us consider how we feel about that and if maybe the whole idea of these kind of expectations isn't bullshit in the first place.
So... while Good Omens is sending up the limited mindset of the Duns Scotuses of the world, the joke with God's monologue is that, in the context of Good Omens itself?
From the standpoint of this story?
The related questions about angels and dancing and gender and sex that arise from asking the question: "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" are excellent questions.
They happen to be questions that, if you're asking them, you're getting into many of the themes of the story and you're looking at how the story is using angels and demons to talk about the experience of human living. What does matter in understanding the story of Good Omens is, ironically, the dumbass questions that these humans were asking back in the day about dancing angels and demons and their relationships to human ideas about gender, sex and sexuality at which Good Omens is poking more than a little fun.
To add to this, we also have the very funny way in which God presents the answers to these questions to us and that involves a wink towards the last type of dancing-- dancing as sexual euphemism.
In the original question of "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?", the reason why it's a pin is obviously that pins are very, very small but it was sometimes referred to as well as a question of how many angels could dance on the head of a needle? This was because the detractors of this school of thought were creating puns, so they could call the debate of the question things like a "needless point" in their writings-- very Good Omens-y humorous of them. 😊 We're also now bringing into to conversation via needles and pins language related to the make and repair of clothes-- seamstress work-- as being tied to questions of sex and dancing as sexually euphemistic.
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The visuals shown to us during God's monologue include Crowley and Aziraphale dancing separately, in different eras, with other beings-- Aziraphale with some humans and Crowley with some demons-- but with an undertone of sex in both scenes that gets at dancing as sexual euphemism. In Crowley's scene in the 1970s/very early 1980s, he and Hastur and Ligur are in some trippy disco sequence in which they are dancing with a pin but the pin is being used as different kinds of sexual dance-related poles.
This is a visual parallel of the innuendo around seamstress-related language in the series, with a pin-- a tool used by those who make and mend clothes-- being used as a pole, highlighting a (hilariously-presented) aspect of sexuality in dance. Mrs. Sandwich runs a bordello but the coded 19th century-era speech of Aziraphale's magic during The Meeting Ball results in her attempting to describe the sex work menu of her girls as being coded in the language of those who make and mend clothes. This comes from sex workers writing on government forms the 19th century that they were seamstresses to evade authorities (why Mrs. Sandwich says her girls stand on their own two feet "like the government said") and a use of seamstress language as euphemistic for sex that overlapped into coded slang of, in particular, homosexual men.
In one part of the disco sequence, Hastur, Ligur and Crowley are going around the pin like it's a maypole, which were involved in courtship rituals and fertility dances. In another moment, the three of them then turn the pin into a stripper pole and bust out some exotic dancing moves, all less using the pin/pole as prop in a seduction of someone else but more seemingly in place of that someone else, with exactly zero awareness of one another.
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What the living fuck is this scene, really? 😂 Is the pin really large? Are they very small? Why can I still not stop laughing at the fact that they aren't dancing on the *head* of a pin but with it? Is Hastur trying to make out with the pole? Did Ligur really invent part of The Macarena decades ahead of its time? What perspective is this scene supposed to be shot from? lol Are we all just assumed high at this point from the disco lights and general trippiness of the sequence? Are any of these the most important questions of this sequence? Not by a long shot lol...
*tilts head* hiiiii Crowley...
What's that? Oh, sorry, right, finishing up the epic journey that is this meta... Yes, yes, sorry. Got distracted by the dancing snake... Which reminds me!
We can't talk about dancing as sexual euphemism without mentioning that the little glimpse into Crowley's bedroom in S1 that we see shows us that he has a wooden figurine of a dancing snake on a table in the corner, which seems like a wink towards Crowley and Aziraphale joking about being like the magician or musician who would play music to "charm" snakes into dancing for them. Crowley kept the dancing snake figurine in his bedroom so that is probably the ultimate in dancing as a sexual euphemism possible and it's another indicator that it's hardly the idea of dancing together being a form of sexual overture that has Crowley so confused when he says "you don't dance" in S2. Dancing, in that sense, is not new to them.
So, God's monologue is winking pretty heavily at dance-as-sexual-euphemism. In showing the dancing this way, God is using dancing to mean both literal dancing (as in, when she describes that Aziraphale is the only angel who dances-as-in-moves-to-music because he learned the gavotte) and also as an answer to the question of whether or not some of the angels and demons have sex. While not all of them do or have interest in doing so-- just like with the humans-- having Crowley and Aziraphale both exhibit a sense of sexuality in the dancing scenes here is more than a little suggestive of the fact that they both do.
So, how does that fit into our whole idea of dancing as it relates to a being a part of society?
Both Crowley and Aziraphale are shown dancing in different situations in different eras in which queer people existing on the fringes of society found a place in which they could express themselves-- but they are very different ways of expression.
Aziraphale learns to dance in a private club for wealthy, gay gentlemen and that is the only place in which he dances because he can do so freely there without too much concern that it will have repercussions for him in both his supernatural and his human worlds. Everyone there in the club is someone who also has a sense of secrecy and a need for discretion in common and they're all well-connected enough to ensure that their privacy remains intact. It's through basically finding a safe space in this club that Aziraphale can have a microcosm of what it would be like to exist more openly in the larger society as a whole.
Crowley, on the other hand?
While Crowley also lived through all of these eras alongside Aziraphale and had the same types of social limitations, we see him dancing openly in the liberation of the disco era. Disco changed everything. It was full of people who had never fit into society and gave voice to, in particular, more female, Black and queer people than ever before. The eventual backlash to disco had nothing to do with the music and everything to do with the changing attitudes about race, gender, sexual orientation, and sex itself at the heart of it.
The difference here is that disco was free to a point that you could dance with anybody. You and your friends could dance, you could dance with someone you wanted to hook up with, you could dance around to it in your house with your family. It didn't matter. While people had long since abandoned the formal rules of dance in mainstream society that existed in the eras of Jane Austen, by the time disco turned up, popular dance had freed itself to being just about self-expression and having fun. It was still sexy but it was no longer playing a formal role in the matchmaking process of people in society. It's about having fun and doing so in the open and much more free.
This is where we're going to look at what your question has to do with the gavotte and Aziraphale's cotillion ball in S2...
The gavotte scene in S1 is one of the most fascinating scenes in the series because nothing else like it exists in terms of how it is filmed. The scene of Aziraphale dancing the gavotte is filmed in such a way as to suggest we are actually watching a video of him doing so. Part of this comes from the lighting, the slightly jumpy 'old time movie' feel of the scene. But, it also comes from the fact that Aziraphale looks directly into the camera at several moments during the scene, in such a way that it makes it feel like he's not looking at *us* in a fourth-wall-breaking sort of way but that he's looking at a camera that exists within The Hundred Guineas Club and is filming them dancing.
This was likely possible at the time, especially in a club patronized by wealthy men. The Lumiere brothers patented the first movie-making cameras in 1895 so it could be argued that Aziraphale and friends are being filmed using a prototype of that technology. (A bit of film-related technology being a bit too early for the time by our human history standards is also shown on Good Omens in S2, when Furfur has a Polaroid camera just under a decade or so too soon, though some prototypes were in development not long after the time Furfur was shown with one.)
The point is that Aziraphale looks like he's letting himself be recorded dancing. Actually, the point is that Aziraphale looks like he is loving letting himself be recorded dancing and that's an enormous thing...
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Think back to 1941 for a moment. Crowley and Aziraphale were nearly killed over the picture Furfur took of the two of them together. No audio/visual evidence of the two of them together exists. If they kept the picture, they've hidden it really, really well because they've been terrified of anyone finding them out. Does this recording of Aziraphale still exist, though? Does he have it? Was he going to show Crowley, maybe after everyone left The Meeting Ball?
Living-- existing-- can mean having a record of that existence. That's actually at the heart of the meta I wrote recently about Aziraphale's excitement over getting the Shostakovich record being about having a recording of a performance with history to him and Crowley.
Being a part of the world can mean letting yourself be a documented part of it.
We are shown that, in the late 1880s, Aziraphale let himself be recorded on video dancing with some human friends... which is to say that Aziraphale let himself live.
He let himself find some kindred spirits, learn something new, be an active participant in a group, and enjoy himself. He let all of that be documented and his kind of manic, unbridled joy over all of it is the mark of how rare a thing this level of engagement is for him.
So, why did he?
Why this dance? What does this have to do with The Meeting Ball?
Notice the backdrop of this scene. Other than Aziraphale and the other gentleman and the walls, there is really only one thing of note in the scene and it is in focus for much of the scene: the chandelier.
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The gavotte is both a specific kind of dance and a kind of umbrella term for French folk dances from the 16th-18th centuries and a separate, different dance in the 19th century. It was apparently popular in the court of King Louis XIV, whose reign is referred to several times in Good Omens. (Crowley's gauche imitation Louis XIV furniture in his flat in S1; he was king in the time mentioned by Aziraphale in the French scene in S2; his mistress being Madame du Pompadour, historically credited with originating the hairstyle worn by Crowley since prior to Earth's existence, etc....)
Gavotte comes from gavoto, which meant mountaineer's dance or the dance of the mountain people and which, in turn, came from gavot, which meant a boor and a glutton. A boor is a country person or a farmer but it comes from the Latin bovis, meaning a cow or an ox. Etymologically-speaking? Of course this is the dance Aziraphale learned because the gavotte is a French dance of the ox glutton who enjoys a good "mountain" climb.
(The theory that they wrote The Sound of Music lives on. 😂)
Aziraphale learned the gavotte, of all dances, because he knew that Crowley would find the two of them dancing together to this dance in particular very amusing. He learned this dance in the late 1880s, likely with the intent of maybe, someday, being able to dance it with Crowley, which is likely why he was he was annoyed when it went out of style.
Still, we could theorize that one of the reasons why he allowed himself to be filmed dancing it is to have a record of his efforts to learn it-- not just for Crowley but in general-- and that maybe the chandelier in the bookshop is the one from his long-since-closed gentleman's club. It all shows that Aziraphale has wanted to dance, openly and publicly, both in general and with Crowley, for a very long time.
One of the reasons why he likely miracled everyone into 19th century speak during The Meeting Ball and brought down the chandelier and old style dancing was so that he could finally do just that. It isn't so much that Aziraphale needs to stick to old-fashioned dancing in general as it is that he just wanted to have an experience like those of other humans during that time that he wasn't allowed then to have-- by the rules of the human world, not just because of the dangers from his supernatural world.
But it's 2023 in S2 now. Queer people have been able to get married in England for a decade and partnership rights have been around for even longer. Mutt and his spouse's relationship would have been illegal in nine different ways barely a breath ago but they can live openly now. Gabriel has left Heaven and moved into the guest room. Things feel like there's a chance of change everywhere and Aziraphale has just had it and can't take one more night of Crowley slipping out before dawn so this whole "Maggie and Nina" party?
Do you remember how Aziraphale phrased the idea to Crowley?
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Cotillion balls aren't just any ball. While cotillion was a style of country dance kind of like the gavotte, a cotillion ball was a coming out ball for young ladies in society. In parts of the world, they still exist, sometimes called now debutante balls.
What's so endearing about Aziraphale fixating on this idea is that a) Maggie and Nina are both women, which is not a match that would have been sanctioned by a cotillion ball in Jane Austen's day, which makes it sweet that Aziraphale is, in a way, trying to give this traditionally romantic idea of love at a dance to a pair of women who would not have had it be an option for them, historically, which is something to which he can relate but also b) Aziraphale is just really semi-consciously using the idea of a party styled after a coming out ball for women in society as his thinly-veiled excuse to have a coming out party of a different kind, of sorts, for himself and Crowley.
Aziraphale isn't closeted in the sense that he's not actively trying to convince anyone that he's straight (good Frances, what a waste of effort that would be lol) but he'd like to be just like everyone else and not have to hide his partner. In the scene where Mrs. Cheng tells him that she and her husband will be at the party, for example, Aziraphale has this kind of wistful look for a moment. He wants that. He'd like to just be chatting with the neighbors and tell them that yes, definitely, he and his husband will be by later on. It's a season of things like Muriel literally opening the door to them hiding in a closet to talk privately and Crowley insisting in the street to Nina that Aziraphale is not his partner but then saying nothing to correct her when she refers to Aziraphale that way when they're in the bookshop. It's Mrs. Sandwich knowing Crowley in part because she sees him slip out the bookshop side door every night but Nina not knowing him in 2.01 because they're hiding the fact that they're a couple so morning coffee is never a thing until it is in S2. The Meeting Ball is Aziraphale taking steps towards them no longer hiding it by having people over when Crowley is there and letting everyone know or assume that Crowley is his partner.
The party is really for Crowley. Having everyone speak outside of time, the theatre curtains, Gabriel circling with trays of food (which was honestly so funny-- The Supreme Archangel walking around all "try an ox rib" to everyone), the vol-au-vents (etymologically linked to nightingales and some of them seemed like they might have been oyster vol-au-vents), etc.. He did it all to dance with Crowley and ask him to stay.
These two are fucking adorable. Look at this angel, I mean, seriously:
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Aziraphale has been hitting that since ancient Rome and he's over here, nervous and giddy like he's at his first middle school dance, so fucking excited to ask that dashing ginger currently having an anxiety attack to dance. They have been basically married for millennia and Aziraphale is standing there like I'm going to ask him, I'm going to really do it, I'm going to hold his hand and dance with him in front of everybody and they're all going to know he's mine. We're going to be like everybody else-- just people on Earth.
It's so damn cute.
So, lastly, there's one thing we have to talk about when it comes to dancing and that's the fact that it is a form of self-expression. This is where Aziraphale and his perfectionism come into play a little.
God, in S1, said that not dancing is one of "the distinguishing" features of angels and that Aziraphale, through learning the gavotte, is the only angel who dances (at least, in terms of literally dancing.) This contrasts with the demons, who all dance, though many of them are not particularly good at it. This is the fundamental difference between angels and demons.
The demons are all demons because they were all willing to express themselves as individuals, which is what dancing fundamentally is. The reason why Aziraphale is the only angel who dances in S1 is because the other angels who know how to dance are all now demons.
Dancing means putting yourself out there a bit. You have to be willing to make some mistakes. You have to be willing to look potentially silly in front of other people and learn to not care as much about it. You have to take some chances. You have to engage with others if you want to dance with other people-- so, you have to participate in the world around you a bit. You have to try new things, like hearing new music and learning new ways to move. You have to be your own person, in the sense that you have to have music you like to move to and decide what you'll look like doing that. You have to let yourself take up some space and work hard at shutting off your damn brain enough to enjoy it.
In the 1941, Part 2 scene that we started this meta out with, we saw Aziraphale openly dancing a bit in front of Crowley, a sign of how comfortable he was and is with him. He doesn't have to be perfect around Crowley. Just as Crowley doesn't have to be perfect around him and is willing to look ridiculous to around him, as in the case of The Apology Dance. Being able to be silly and vulnerable is a sign of trust. When you can lean on people you trust and have that kind of intimacy with them, it can make you feel braver to take some risks in the world as a whole. If you let one person in enough and learn how to dance in one or more ways with just them, you'll eventually feel like you can dance free, no matter who is watching.
In the same scene, Aziraphale admits to his conflicts over going to Goldstone's and how he worries that maybe the things in life that he enjoys are "for professional conjurers only"-- for humans only-- with Crowley helping to quiet that imposter syndrome noise in Aziraphale's mind. Crowley's gentleness and the care in his response are examples of why he is who Aziraphale chooses as a partner and why it's with him that he's long-dreamed of having be his dancing partner when he finally is able to publicly dance alongside others at a ball.
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Aziraphale is equally considerate in how he treats Crowley and is not put off by spending their first dance in public together essentially trying to calm what he thinks at first is just Crowley's usual level of anxiety talking, knowing Crowley well enough to know that, for all his talk about wanting to live a more open life together, he's as afraid as Aziraphale is. Crowley is dancing anyway. Aziraphale wants to so that's enough for Crowley to do so.
Aziraphale doesn't need some perfectly smooth first dance out together-- though they dance easily and very well together. It doesn't matter how long he's waited. He cares more about trying to reassure Crowley and ease his stress. They actually aren't as safe as Aziraphale believes them to be at this moment but it's the intent that's sweet. He knows this dance is as scary as it is lovely and, as always, it's important to him that Crowley feel safe.
You have to admit that you're a person to dance.
That's what the dancing is all about.
You have to admit that you have a life and to start to accept that you are allowed one. You have to accept yourself as part of a community to publicly dance with a group. You have to feel ready to host the monthly meeting of The Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association because to do so is to be a participating member in a community and to be a participating member in a community is to be a person living a life on Earth.
It's not surprising, then, that when Aziraphale gets to a point-- a very delicate point but a point, nonetheless-- of feeling like it might be time for him to claim that life for himself, doing so begins with the first night that he's ever been able to be at a party and, just like a zillion other people before him, ask his partner to dance.
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voltronisanobsession · 6 months ago
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Being Stiles Twin | Platonic Stiles Stilinksi x Reader
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Some headcanons cuz I was bored😜 this is definitely all over the place and messy but that’s fine, just ignore it👼
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Being Stiles’ twin is definitely a unique experience on its own
While you guys are different in many ways, there are times where your similarities really shine through
Since you’ve grown up with this dude, you both share the same sense of humor and sarcasm (something that everyone condemns)
When he makes a comment or joke, you’re probably the only one chuckling at it and vice versa
I feel like since Stiles is on the more extroverted side, reader is probably a bit more mellow compared to him
You usually let him take the lead on most stuff, enjoying just watching him blabber about who knows what
You might be a bit quieter without him but you never really minded much
When you’re with him though, yall are the capital of yap central. Especially if you guys are talking about something you’re both passionate about. Or, more often than not, when you’re arguing with each other
He’s the one always dragging you around everywhere and forcing you to go through his plans with him
This was a problem when you guys were younger since both of you were often caught by your dad💀
Being Stiles’ twin would include listening to similar music, sharing a lot of the same interests and geeking out on it together
It also includes bothering Scott whenever you can
Being childhood friends, Scott can never truly escape the Stilinski twins. If Stiles isn’t with him, you’re usually not too far away. Scott has labeled you both as the angel and devil on his shoulders lmao
Between the both of you, I think the reader would have a more flight response when in the face of danger. Stiles usually charges at things head first, the complete opposite of you
It’s not that your any more smarter than him, but that you have a higher self preservation than him
Of course if he ever asks (or forces), you would always stay beside your brother during dangerous situations
It’s either fight or flight with yall. Whoever wins rock paper scissors gets to make the choice💀💀
Moving on, I think maybe sometimes you feel a little less important to the group as compared to Stiles since you view him as more valuable to them.
He’s definitely more knowledgeable and smarter when thinking like the ‘bad guys’
Just a little insecurity you’ll never tell anyone😜
You both are y’all’s ride or dies
Without a doubt if one of you does something stupid, the other will 100% follow in suite
You both might even jump to the same idea and conclusion at the same time when having to make some decision or something
It usually doesn’t end well but at least you guys did it together💆
Even if you guys do dumb things together and by chance get separated, you both worry about each other a lot
Like the first thing Stiles will ask if he sees anyone after some hectic chase is if they know where you are
Being twins, you’ll always have top priority to each other. It’s nothing personal, but if yall had to choose between each other or someone else, after a bit of hesitation the choice will be obvious
Let’s move onto some lighthearted headcanons now👼
You both argue who gets to drive the jeep💀
Yall are forced to share the car, so this problem is usually settled with DUN DUUNNN
Rock paper scissors LMAO
You tend to steal Stiles’ sweater a lot, and despite how smart he is, you always manage to gaslight him into thinking it was yours to begin with
Little do you know he DOES know that ur lying to him, he just takes them back when ur not home, and then the cycle repeats itself
Despite you guys sharing similar interests, it’s always going to be a smidge different
Like it would fall under the same category but for some reason, yall can’t get into each others interests as ironic as it sounds
You guys have this creepy twin telepathy that Scott hates. You both will just randomly starting speaking singing at the same exact time, saying the exact same thing and not even bat an eye
He doesn’t know if it’s because you’re always around each other or if there’s some divine force behind it, but Scott will always side eye you guys whenever it happens
He loves you both but he just finds it freaky that you both know what the other is thinking at the same time. It’s cool but freaky regardless
You both are very close to each other, so when what happens in season three happens, it really damages your bond.
You both grow apart but that’s a post for another day😇
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castlebyersafterdark · 8 months ago
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ok so this is a question that i wish was discussed more in other spicy spaces without getting either too careful or too obviously an expression of people's unrealistic fantasies. what do you think attracts will to mike, both in terms of emotional and physical attraction?
there's lots of discussion about mike's attraction to will because that's thought to be what we need more of in the show, and people are happy to talk about will's physical attributes like his ass. but when will's attraction to mike is discussed, its always in the context of emotion and love and friendship becoming romantic, but never physical. there's not much in the way of will's fantasies or him being allowed to have a purely physical aspect to his love for mike, which is so sad to me because it reflects the thematic castration of will in the show (@therainscene did a great post on this about the lack of posters and sexuality in will's room etc).
i personally think the dnd alter egos give lots of hints about why will is emotionally attracted to mike, but at the same time, physicality and presence is a huge part of medieval/roleplay, so Will MUST have thought about mike's physicality in his fantasies, surely?
i wonder if there's not a lot of spec on this because people find there to be a dissonance between finn/mike's body and what they think mike's character represents in the show to a negative degree? whereas for will, even though his muscle development isnt **exactly** in line with will's character, society considers muscles to be a good thing so the change doesnt upset anyone. (not to say muscular men can't be sensitive, but the duffers probably would have chosen him to remain more delicate if they had a choice)
i personally think that mike's awkwardness due to finn's physicality has always been present and a big part of what makes the show so endearing, esp in s1. its only because there's an expectation for blockbuster scale epic fight scenes now, big music, big action, that people start to think mike needs to be this Baddie. I like the idea of him having a moment, but i dont need him to be wielding a sword like a badass and Looking Cool 24/7. Mike isnt traditionally cool, i need him to stay that a nerd lol.
maybe this is also why i think there would be something so powerful about a byler sex scene, because the more awkward/realistic/nerdier the better? it doesnt need to be traditionally sexy, but it WOULD be sexy just because of the fact that it would be mike and will and them getting together is intrinsically sexy.
i hope this makes sense lol sorry for the essay
EXCELLENT TOPIC! So many good points. You're absolutely correct about all of this - there is a definite line it seems, with more focus given to how Mike views Will, versus what made Will develop feelings and attraction to Mike, beyond the "we're best friends and I want you in my life forever"-ness of it all. I love talking about what Mike loves about Will, but let's hype up the other side of this coin.
This may sound so odd, but I genuinely think sometimes it's forgotten in general spaces that Will is gay? And what that actually means. Like he's a gay guy. Who is attracted to men and ultimately wants to be intimate with men (even if in present time, this want is being internally and externally denied). And Mike is a man (big juicy can of worms re: the gnc debate, save that for another essay, but I think my stance is visible between the lines here) and Will wants him. We all saw how Will looked at Mike in the desert. Dirty, white t-shirt probably transparent in spots from sweat, heaving breath as he did all the work shoveling for his boy bestie. Will doesn't have to lift a finger. Will gets to pretend to move several grains of sand around. Will looks at Mike with lust in his eyes. That is the boy he's grown up with and had been crushing on as a kid, that's the guy he's fallen in love with. And Mike has grown up. Still awkward, but developing into someone that Will not only wants to spend forever with, but wants intimately.
I like to imagine them as kids, maybe around the age they are introduced to us as in s1. What are they, 12? It's been awhile, but I remember being 12. I remember my first crushes, and they happened even earlier. Will has several male friends - each with their own appealing attributes. I think any of the party could be cute to a young, sexually confused nerd. But Will crushes on Mike. His first friend, the face he can imagine perfectly when he closes his eyes, able to draw him from memory because our boy is an artist. Little Will, drawing in sketchbooks from the early years. Why is it so important that he gets the shape of Mike's lips just right? Why are his eyes the best eyes he's ever drawn? Why does he spend so long perfecting a technique to capture the dark swoops of his best friend's hair? He's caught himself staring too long at Mike's mouth on occasion. He's caught himself suppressing a shudder when Mike's arm is so casually thrown around him, holding him close. He smells like a boy. He likes that a lot more than whatever girls douse themselves with. Uh oh.
Mike is not conventionally attractive. Neither is FW, either. Not to say he's bad looking (I find him very very attractive), but honestly - he's different. He's not like the cookie cutter Ken, the action figure, the Hollywood poster boy. He's got unique features and is awkward in his own skin. I don't think girls (and closeted guys) at Mike's school are falling at his feet. "I'm not exactly Mr. Popular." But they still look. As opposed to Jason, the All-American Juxtaposition. Jason - classically and cliche-handsome, the prototype boyfriend for the prototype cheerleader. If Will was at Hawkins High that year, I'm sure he'd give Jason a passing glance. He's an attractive man. Will's heart can belong to one and his eyes can appreciate attractive people in his vicinity. But Mike. Mike. Slightly taller, his protective personality bleeding into his physicality. I can see Will being into the protectiveness as a physical manifestation. Mike can maneuver him, can probably hug him tight and lift him up. He's not some action hero, or a muscled heartthrob but he's not as pathetic as fanon so pretends. I don't think he's gonna be an over powered badass by any means, but he can wield a sword and try and even if he's not that great at it. He's not hesitant. And clearly Will knows this. He painted it. He's into it. Mike, able to lead them into battle. Mike, awkward but endearing and strong. Mike with his big hands and lean muscles and that mouth that Will's eyes are drawn to like magnets and he hopes he's not as guiltily obvious as he feels when he watches his best friend orbit around him.
He may hide his attraction to men, with no posters of them on his walls. Diverting his eyes when he notices an attractive man in public. But he has music and cinema. Albums and magazines and movies. Mike looks more like the men in his favorite bands than the men playing professional sports. Bowie is so much cooler. He's odd, he's different. He's hot. Will likes the unconventional and he likes the familiar things that make him feel good and safe. Mike makes him feel safe. Oh, how he wants Mike to make him feel good.
Will had a crush on his best friend, when he first started being plagued with the realization that boys were cute. Will fell in love and when he re-met his best friend in the airport - his friend has grown up hot. He's pissed off and heartbroken that they haven't reached out to each other more, but he can't keep his eyes off Mike. He's dreamed about him and sketched him from memory so many times before Spring Break - but in the flesh? Everything and more. Will wants him.
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taeghi · 1 year ago
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Tides of Regret by lee heeseung | (m) *preview*
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FULL RELEASE DATE : sunday, november 19th, 2023
♫ song : swim by chase atlantic
pairing : fwb!heeseung x reader + zb1 sung hanbin x reader
summary : being magnetically attracted to frat boy lee heeseung was a bad mistake. but, agreeing to be friends with benefits with him was an even worse one. getting caught in a relentless, toxic cycle together leads to facing the consequences of your choices with a grand moment of truth. will you be able to break free from the destructive tide, or will you remain trapped in the undertow of toxic love?
warning : squirting, daddy kink, slapping, choking + more :D
part of the enhypen playlist series
taglist : ??
If there was one thing that you liked to do, it was party. You liked dancing, listening to, most of the time, shit music and hanging out with your friends. A good, any kind of party could always lift your mood. But, if there was one party you’d always try to avoid– it was frat parties. Especially the ones that were hosted at Lee Heeseung’s so-called notorious fraternity house. 
Lee Heeseung and the rest of the frat he belonged to were the embodiment of the classic frayboy archetype. And they didn’t have the best reputation. They were the self-proclaimed rulers of campus who liked to party way too much and break many hearts, especially the hearts of freshmen’s. 
So, you were understandably less than thrilled when Dayeon and Shana insisted we pay a visit to their den of debauchery this Friday night. 
Everyone who belonged in the frat were bad, but Lee Heeseung was definitely the most popular and the worst. He was all you heard about during the your freshmen year as all your friends were trying, or had hooked up with him. Now during your junior year, you hear about a new Lee Heeseung escapade at least once a week from either your friend, or overhearing it from some crying freshman in the library. 
Heeseung did not care about or who he hooked up with. As long as they were alive and had tits, he was into it. And although he had a long reputation about being a womanizer, he also had a reputation of being amazing at sex. 
Mixed along with all the broken-hearted-tears shed, there were constant rumours being spread about how easily he could make a girl cum. Which is a rare occurence with college frat boys. But everyone knew, that if you wanted to cum, go to Lee Heeseung. 
He intrigued you during the first half of your freshman year, the idea that a sophomore could make any girl cum. You fed into the rumours about his sex life, and all the kinks the fratboy allegedly took fancy of. One of those kinks being a daddy kink. Yes, a cliche one, but now, three years later, and it seems to be the only kink of his that everyone is aware of. Even your wide-eyed, almost innocent freshman friends come up to you and ask if it is true that the senior, Lee Heeseung has a daddy kink. 
You don’t know if it’s true, and you don’t want to know. You make an effort to stay away from the frat house of womanizing, except for tonight. 
“Y/n, you’ve gotta give this party a chance,” Dayeon says when she hears you sigh from your bed again. “I heard they’ve got an actual, killer DJ lined up for tonight!” 
You roll your eyes at your friend’s attempt to persuade you to want to enjoy the frat party tonight. “I don’t care about the DJ.” 
“Right, you just care about the guys who hired the DJ.” Shana smirks from her reflection in the mirror as she finishes her makeup. 
You roll over onto your stomach to look at your friend in the mirror, “I do not care about those awful frat boys, I care about the drama that seems to always follow them around. Drama, that is just not worth it.” 
Shana rolls her eyes playfully, starting to fix her black hair for the night. 
“Don’t be such a party pooper,” Dayeon nudges your leg with hers, “We’ll stick together, and if Heeseung or any of the other frat guys try anything, I’ll smack them with my feminism 101 textbook.” 
You chuckle, appreciating Dayeon, “Fine, I’ll go and attempt to have fun. But if Heeseung or any of his minions come near me, I’m unleashing you, D.” 
With a grin, Dayeon jumps ontop of you, squeezing you into a bone-crushing hug. “Deal, this is gonna be a night to remember!”
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@ taeghi, 2023. do not repost or reuse in anyway.
stay safe everyone :)
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siblingskissing · 8 months ago
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Ronance headcanons?
Ronance Headcanons
I have had the BIGGEST brain rot about these two, you guys don't even know, so please excuse my rambling session in this post. As always- feel free to share your headcanons, opinions, thoughts ideas, just be kind <3
-Robin is the biggest simp to ever exist. Nancy mentions liking a color? Guess who's suddenly adding it all over their wardrobe! A favourite food? She's already learned how to cook it. Allergic to something? Robin will destroy it with her bare hands and make it go extinct to protect her girl.
-Likewise, Nancy would and will kill for Robin (come on Robin tell her to kill for you she wants to)
-Their favourite dates include them sitting in one of their rooms, a movie or music playing as they discuss conspiracy theories or whatever story Nancy is working on
"There's been a ton of missing items from farms in the areas. Animals, tools, bales of hay-"
"could it be aliens?"
"Alie- Robin it's not aliens!"
"What? Interdimensional monsters are real but aliens aren't?"
-Many people assume Nancy would get annoyed by Robins carefree joke centered attitude but actually she calms down whenever Robin tries making jokes.
-She doesn't like when people don't take things seriously, but she knows Robin is taking it serious, but using humour to make sure they don't spiral with the problem
-their relationship definitely started off rocky but with some time, understanding and surprisingly really deep conversations they learn to appreciate the little things about one another.
-Robin loves Nancy's drive and her leadership skills. She makes sure that everyone takes her seriously and if the kids complain about Nancy being a hard ass she brings them back to listen.
"Nancy's not our boss!"
"No, but she's the one keeping you dipshits safe- she knows what she's doing so listen up and quit complaining"
-They kids listen to Robin more and so when she follows Nancy with no complaints, the kids unconsciously follow suit.
-When Nancy gets stressed/aggravated Robin will be there to lend her a shoulder. They're very much leader/Right Hand man coded to me.
-Nancy doesn't know much about queer culture so when she does eventually come out Robin is happy to talk to her about it and share what she knows.
"So we use Blue violets because Sappho used to describe women wearing garlands of them,"
"Sappho?"
"... Do you have a spar 3 hours so I can explain Sappho and Greek poetry to you?"
-They take all kinds of cute little Polaroids that they keep at Robins place
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(examples of said Polaroids)
-Robins family is more supportive so often Nancy goes over there to spend the night
-when college comes up in discussions Robin mentions that she enjoyed investigating with Nancy, the research was fun when they didn't have death looming over them.
"Yeah, learning Russian to break the code was awesome- the torture kind of ruined it though-"
"The WHAT?"
-Nancy asks Robin 1000X if Robin is sure she wants to go to the same college/same field and Robin promises her that she isn't only going because of her.
"I'd follow you anywhere, but this is also for me- if I have to do one more customer service job I might kill someone."
-They love movie nights, curled up under a blanket watching whatever film they can find. Robin always finds the oddest ones and sometimes some really deep indie films. Nancy also enjoys the foreign films she can find and let's her choose.
-on nights Nancy chooses- she likes care free fun films. Nothing too heavy because she likes the simplicity
-Theyre a gross matching couple- but in a new fun way.
-Mat hing colors in their respective styles, using each other's clothes and making it go with their personal choices, matching patterns/designs.
-They also shared shoes sometimes
-On the 90s Nancy gets a more "Rachel from friends" style like this
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-Robin eats it up like no one is watching and often has to hold back from just kissing her 24/7
(also I badly wanna do a look book of the characters so Please someone ask for that because I love fashion)
I definitely probably have more but here you are!!
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princelylove · 2 months ago
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Good day, your Highness! It has been hard work out in the fields as of late, due to the ground gardening in time for autumn and winter. I was wondering if you could write some poly bruabba for all of us, for a boost in morale? If I have wriggled out of line however, feel free to have me flogged..! I would rather die than disrespect you! Regards, your ever loyal degenerateworm x
You're too excited about getting flogged. I'd make you fight for your life in the coliseum if you offended me. After a groveling session, of course.
For buy one get one free requests, I like to think about if the characters are actually okay with sharing or not. Most possessives would sooner cut their own hand off, cook it, then shove it down their own throats than let their darling be anything other than solely theirs. There's different types of relationships and agreements, but I don't think these two specifically could ever truly, non-resentfully agree to share.
I don't really think Bruno wants to share his spouse. He's very old-fashioned when it comes to love, polyamory is a concept that wouldn't ever come to him naturally. He's thrilled his darling has a friend, though! He's really quite worried that they're not socializing enough, not getting adjusted into his little family. Leone's an odd choice, but as long as his little amore is getting their needs met.
Never mind the fact that Leone was interested in you first and also isn't suited for polyamory. Depending on his mental state, he'd consider it and actually try it to make his darling happy, but he'd hate it with Bruno so much that he'd end up in the news. He's no dayouth. Don't know why he even humored it. Already had a somewhat established relationship, although not dating.... Sigh. He can never have anything for himself.
Leone is the type of man that gets jealous before anything even happens, because he makes something up in his head and hates the mere concept. His face is right next to the definition of jealousy in the dictionary. He can't stand the idea of you with anyone else, but he isn't in a position to tell Bruno to fuck off right now. It just wouldn't go down well, but he's not about to just give up when he's overly anxious thinking about what could be happening. Heavy boots pacing up and down the hall keep Guido up all night. Go on anxiety medication, man...
Leone doesn't really know what to do. He just wants Bruno to get the fuck away from his things. It's not fair. It's so not fair. Why do these things always happen to him?? What'd he ever do???? It couldn't be more clear that you're his. He sits next to you! He lets you eat off of his plate! He doesn't scoff when you talk! He didn't even insult you when you said his music taste was shit!
It's not like he's going to just sit down and take it, but he's not going to do anything that'll move him anywhere, either. If he does make an advancement, it's because he didn't think about it previously and was feeling something so intensely that he had to get it out, like how you'd lean over to prepare to vomit regardless of if you want to or not. He won't acknowledge it if you bring it up. He puts his arm around you when you're standing next to him on the train, 'so you don't fall over.' He fixes your hair when it falls out of place, if he can. He kisses your forehead goodnight and leaves a lipstick mark, he'll pay for you if you're out together, but he won't let you touch his cd collection.
Bruno... doesn't really appreciate Leone being affectionate towards his darling in the slightest. It shouldn't irk him, Leone's obviously just attempting to socialize and still hasn't gotten over how awkward he is, despite his age, but it's so.... it's just bothersome. It makes his eye twitch every time Leone touches his darling in a socially appropriate way, there is absolutely no way lint or hair keeps getting on their shoulders, absolutely no way they need to be adjusted that many times within the hour. Leone's always the first to offer assistance, always the first to hand you something you need, frankly it's just starting to piss Bruno off.
Bruno has never really thought about the position he's in too much, or about the fact that he could just.... make Leone significantly more busy than he currently is. That changes with this recent fraternization. He's a mafioso, abuse of power is so common that I feel silly for pointing it out. Of course Leone's schedule is packed. What's he going to do, work less? You die if you don't do your job. Maybe he'd want that, he's not the most mentally stable. What? You have to consider all of these things when you're capo.
Leone drinks about it, mainly. And hurts himself. Well, same thing. He'd rather just drink his heart out than try to help his case. With anyone else, anyone else, Leone would just get aggressive about it. He's fine with telling somebody to beat it when it's not his boss that's obviously got a hard on for fucking him over. Great. Absolutely great.
Until he snaps, anyway.
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venture-through-the-mist · 5 months ago
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Thoughts on The Lotus Eaters
As I’m sure is obvious, this will be discussing the Lotus Eaters quest in detail, so if you haven’t played it yet, I’d suggest skipping this post! I don’t want to spoil it for anyone (because even though it’s a short quest, I still think it benefits from being played with no prior knowledge of what it entails), so the full post will be below the cut.
Alright, I have SO many thoughts, so I’m going to try and keep this somewhat concise…ish. This is mostly just a bunch of rambles, so I apologize for any grammatical errors or if it’s hard to understand. I just kinda…wrote what came to my mind.
First off,
The Music: I briefly mentioned this in another post, but holy shit the music for this update is amazing. I mean, we all knew it would be, Warframe has a tendency to put out absolutely awesome songs, but oh my god. We get two more versions of what is one of my favorite songs in the game. The loading screen version of ‘This is What You Are’ has to be, by far, one of my favorite things I’ve heard from this game. I love the feel to it, like a combination of ‘old’ Warframe with ‘new’, 1999-era Warframe. I’ve had it playing on repeat almost all day because it’s so good.
Now, for the version of ‘This is What You Are’ that we actually get during the quest, the one that Lotus is singing to herself. I, admittedly, didn’t pay too much attention to it when I was actually playing the quest, at least not beyond “omg Lotus is singing, that’s awesome” (I was just too excited about the actual quest lol). However, when I listened to it again, I was fascinated by the subtle differences in how this version sounds compared to the ‘normal’ version of the song, or even to the new version in the loading screen. The singing is a lot more staccato, and the notes don’t flow into each other in the ways they normally would. It’s almost as if Lotus is having to concentrate more on what comes next (at least, that’s my interpretation), which makes sense given that we know that she’s singing in order to drown out the Indifference’s voice. Her singing also sounds a little sad, or maybe just lonely, to me. Her mind is filled with the Indifference trying to influence her, and she’s taken it upon herself to be a barrier (or as she says it, a “distraction”) between It and the Tenno. She’s secluded herself (again), and her tone of voice seems to reflect that.
Also, after the quest, if you go and talk to Daughter/Kaelli in the Necralisk, ‘Party of Your Lifetime’ plays now, instead of whatever song was playing before. I just think that’s neat (and also brings in some interesting ideas for 1999…what did our Drifter do?).
Moving on…
The Story: I had absolutely zero idea where the story was going to go from this update, but I was a bit worried about how they’d go about locking us into playing as the Drifter for 1999, since — although I 1000% agree with why the Drifter is definitely going to be the one going back in time — I’m definitely someone who would rather play as my Operator for my own lore reasons (and I can’t think of a reason that my Operator would let the Drifter do this instead of her). I was actually wondering if they’d actually lock us into the Drifter without giving us a choice, or if they just wouldn’t give us the option to do the romance stuff if we chose Operator (for obvious reasons…bc yk, they’re a child). But, I really enjoy the route they went down, how Lotus knows that the Drifter has to be the one this time, because if the Operator does, that might just be giving the Indifference exactly what it wants. She’s, once again, protecting her kids in the way she knows how, by taking them out of the conflict in any way she can.
But, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, so let’s backtrack a bit and talk about how cool it is that we see the Operator and the Drifter interacting with Lotus at the same time. I may have missed something in the quests leading up to that, or this might just be something attributed to the Man in the Wall’s hijinks, or…something, but I thought that they couldn’t be in the same place at the same time/in the same ‘reality’. So, I was quite surprised (pleasantly, ofc) to see both of them. I really love the difference in the dialogue options when we initially talk to Lotus. The Operator is torn between wondering if Lotus is alright, and also being super worried about what the hell the noise is, in a way that makes me think they definitely suspect that the Indifference is meddling with things again (which makes sense, given that they’re actively in the Sanctum). Honestly, the Operator was probably waiting for something like this to happen. They know, or at least suspect, that Lotus saw the Man in the Wall after the battle with Ballas, it was only a matter of time before that became important. The Drifter, on the other hand, is more concerned with Lotus herself, warning her to be careful, reassuring her, but also wondering what she means by “It’s you”. Maybe the Drifter doesn’t really know the extent of the effects that the Indifference has on the System, maybe the Operator is just trying to protect Lotus in the only way they know how…get the perceived danger away from her first, ask questions later (I’ve noticed from their dialogue throughout the game that the Operator tends to have a bit of a sharper temper than the Drifter does…perhaps bc they’re younger). Either way, it’s nice that they have different responses to seeing Lotus and hearing the noise.
I chose the “Are you okay” and “What do you mean, ‘it’s you’?” dialogue options, and I absolutely loved that my Operator’s line was “This isn’t just a bad memory, it is? This is new”. This acknowledges, at least in my interpretation, that Lotus does have lingering emotions from everything that’s happened in the past (Ballas/The New War, Hunhow, etc). Once again, Warframe surprises me by remembering to make the trauma that a character has gone through actually relevant to the story even after we’ve dealt with the source of the problem. I probably shouldn’t be surprised at this, but most video games I’ve seen don’t tend to do that. Usually characters are…somewhat fine after experiencing something horrific, so it’s refreshing to see a different (more realistic, imo) take on it. This isn’t even the only time we see this in this quest/afterwards. Lotus outright confirms it herself (“I will not let it devour one instant of my pain. Not even Ballas. Not even the Jade Light.”), and in doing so, is also showing us how she’s dealt with the events of the prior storylines. She’s gone through a series of extremely traumatic events, and she still has those painful memories, but she’s not going to succumb to the Indifference, even if It promises to take that away. She’s been hurt, yes, but she is healing, and she’s finally in a place where she can actually do so as herself. That doesn’t mean it’s easy for her to ignore the voice that’s calling to her —the voice that only she can hear— but she’s determined to. I’m curious if the voice-lines after the quest are different if a player had chosen Margulis or Natah instead of Lotus after the New War, though.
I find it very interesting that Lotus calls the Drifter ‘my champion’. I just really enjoy the fact that she definitively sees the Operator and the Drifter as two separate people, as opposed to ‘her child’, and ‘her child but older’, because I feel like that fact could have certainly been a cause of a bit of discomfort and a learning curve for both her and the Drifter after the New War.
Now, onto the 1999 portion of the quest, which, even as short as it was, was quite interesting. It was really weird to be in the Mall again and not hear ‘Party of Your Lifetime’ playing or see other Tenno dancing around the stage (like how it was during TennoCon). It was quite eery, and I love it. Also, we got to see Kalymos again, so that’s a plus.
All in all, this quest answered a lot of my questions about how the game is going to transition to 1999 (and even answered questions that I didn’t know I had). However, I am slightly (read: very) concerned at the same time, mainly because of the line with Lotus saying “If I become something you do not recognize, do not mourn”. I feel like that’s potentially foreshadowing something…They don’t usually put lines like that in without reason. Maybe I’m just reading too far into that…but I suppose we’ll see when 1999 comes out.
Anywho, another thing that I wasn’t expecting but am really glad that we got was the continued acknowledgement of Lotus/Natah/Margulis being a system. This happened not once, but twice (to my knowledge), and I think it’s really great that they didn’t just disregard the whole “I am not one” thing from The New War after we made our choice between the three of them. It’s really nice to see that that wasn’t just a one-off line, especially as we continue to get more and more moments where the game references them.
This is already way longer than it probably should be, but what can I say? I like well-written characters, and this game has so many of them. I’ve definitely forgotten some things that I’d wanted to put in this post, but ah well.
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arvandus · 1 year ago
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Beloved Arvs, I would love to know your thoughts on Diavolo or Lucifer and gift giving/receiving. Like how does he go about picking what they think is “the right one”? Does he fuss a bit before giving the gift, nervous it won’t be received well or is he confident without doubt it’s the best thing the recipient will ever receive?
ohhh, bestie. I love this, and they'd both be so different, so I'm going to do both of them.... but Lucifer is getting double because I think it will also depend on if we're talking about OG Lucifer or NB Lucifer.
Lucifer (OG):
Incredibly observant, will definitely have an idea of what to get you
Picks up on all the minutiae: what game you're playing with Levi, what books you're discussing with Satan, what foods you're sharing with Beel, etc. He really benefits from having you under the same roof as him, a blessing considering his busy schedule.
Will also make mental notes of colors you wear, scents you wear (if any), will notice the things that catch your eye through the shop windows...
I can also definitely picture him gifting you something that is important to him, trusting that if it's important to him, then it'll be important to you as well.
More than anything, he'll go for something that is meaningful to both of you, something that ties to a special private moment between the two of you.
Very confident in his choice(s), will be utterly miffed if you don't like it.
Lucifer (NB):
Still very much observant of course, but doesn't have the benefit of living under the same roof as you.
Even so, you visit from time to time, so he'll try to catch what he can when passing by in the hall... but with all the work he has to do to help Diavolo set up RAD, he's bound to miss stuff. He can't be in two places at once, after all...
When he is ready to get you a gift, he'll set it up a way to expose you to his idea without exposing his plot. It could be walking by a window shop, trying a specific restaurant or vendor, listening to a particular track of music, etc.
HOWEVER... despite all of his research, I think his pride will sometimes take over a bit and cross into overconfidence. Which leads to....
Overlooking what you think you want in favor of what he knows you need.
The worst part is.... he's fucking right.
Diavolo:
He's a little simpler in that I think he'd be more or less the same in both OG and NB.
Either way, he's Prince of the Devildom, and his time with you is severely limited because of it.
He will be far more nervous than Lucifer would be when it comes to gift-giving...
First off, he's not had a lot of opportunities to do it. There's very few people he feels close enough to in order to gift give, let alone knowing exactly what to get them.
Second off, he's usually the one gifts are given to, not the other way around.
The nice thing about Diavolo is that he has a far better grip on his Pride than Lucifer does.
Which means he has no issues asking others for help when it comes to ideas (as a side note, Lucifer would NEVER ask for help).
Would absolutely text the Fantastic Three group chat to get both Barb's and Luci's opinions, as they're his two closest friends and the ones he trusts the most. He knows they're both powerfully observant and would pick up on small details that he may not have been around to catch.
When he finally is ready to give his gift, he does it with perfectly practiced calmness.
But internally, he's sweating buckets.
Maybe it's the knowledge that you have no issues refusing him, unlike so many others.
But his worries are unnecessary...
Because what he's gotten you is absolutely perfect.
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bridgemino · 3 months ago
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MINOR CONTENT WARNING: This story contains some heavy topics!!
(This story is a bit of a duzie…so buckle up, buttercups!)
Hell in Hurricane
Hurricanes came and gone. The worst that had happened was a lost house or damage; nothing the rescue team couldn’t fix. They were scary, rainy and windy, but they had never needed to evacuate or relocate. It was an occasional phenomenon. One they had dealt with many times.
Jin wriggled along to the music that blasted through her headphones. She had found the song recently, and it had definitely placed in her favorites list. “Ba, da da dada daaaaaaAAH-“ she jumped up from her seat, her headphones flying off her head. The bass could be heard still from where they fell. “P-Poli! When did you show up?!”
Poli gave her a concerned look. “A few moments ago. Perhaps you should turn that down a bit, Jin.” He said, pointing his tire towards the headphones that were so loud, they vibrated across the floor. “Jeez! How high did you turn that up?!” His tone turned more playful than stern. But it quietly switched back.
“Ummm, moving on…do you need something, Poli?” She asked, turning the music off, and brushing the headphones to the side with her foot.
Poli shook his head. “No, I was just checking in. We could use some rain soon, though. Amber’s flowers are wilting..”
Jin nodded slowly. “Okay. Uh, hey Poli, can you get the rest of the team here? There’s something I’d like to discuss with you guys.”
“Oh, alright. I’ll make an announcement.”
“So you’re saying that this massive hurricane is coming, and you had no idea?” Helly hissed, looking both shocked and upset. “How are we supposed to prepare for a hurricane like this in less than two days?!”
Jin cringed. “I know, I know! I should’ve known that my broken weather machine meant no good…nghh..”
Roy moved forward. “Hey, instead of complaining, let’s work on getting the town ready for this storm. We only have a matter of hours til the storm hits, so we should get started now.”
Amber nodded. “Yes, but have we had a hurricane of this strength hit Broomstown? Do you think our town can handle it?” As pondered aloud, her eyes wide with worry.
“I don’t know.” Jin said, then slinking down into her chair. “It’s expected to be a strong category 5 hurricane by the time it reaches us.” She frowned.
“Perhaps we should evacuate some of the towns people to other towns with the other rescue teams?” Poli suggested. “We’ve never done it before, but perhaps it would be helpful. It would be easier to tend to the town without most of the people here. It will also be safer for them.”
Roy nodded, “That’ll work. We just have to see if Carry is willing to transport people back and fourth. It’ll take too long by boat, and the ocean is a bit rough right now. Cici also needs to be out of the harbor very soon to ensure she doesn’t get stuck out in that storm.”
“Right..”
Jin sighed, “Poli, you try to come up with a quick plan, and the rest of us will prep the town for a hurricane. Sound okay?”
“Mhm.” The room was silent for a few moments, but soon Roy turned. “Let’s go Helly, we can start by the harbor and make our way inland.”
“Okay, Roy!”
They soon disappeared, and Jin and Amber followed shortly after.
Now Poli sat alone in the empty HQ. He watched the hurricane radar on the screen in front of him. It was really big. Had they ever been hit by a Cat 5 before? It was a direct hit as well. Estimated 30 feet of storm surge..? It definitely wasn’t safe for everyone to stay, especially those near the harbor. Did they have any other choice besides evacuation?
Poli shook his head and sighed. It’s just the same as any other hurricane. He tried to convince himself. Treat it as so.
[26 hours until landfall - HARBOR]
The sound of the crane triplets loading luggage and other items onto Cici filled the harbor. The wind had begun to pick up, and clouds rolled in among the horizon. A large group of the townsfolk was kept towards the storage sheds. Most of the town was here, and anxious at that. They had little information on the situation other than there was a hurricane and they were being evacuated.
Spooky shivered in fear. “Cap, do you think the hurricane will be really bad? What if we come home and everything’s destroyed?!” He asked timidly, watching as Poli guided Carry to land.
Cap shrugged, “I don’t know Spooky. Nothing like this has happened before, so I really don’t know any more than you do.” He frowned as well.
Cleany moved a bit closer. “Have you seen the rescue team? They look really worried…”
“Yeah,” Spooky agreed. “Wait, is Posty coming? I haven’t seen him since the announcement.”
“Me neither,” Cap said. “Do you think he’s staying?”
“He would be out of his mind if he was.” A raspy voice sounded from behind them. They all jumped and whipped around. There was an old grey car behind them, black triangular glasses rested on his nose, “I’ve been through many hurricanes in my lifetime. All the ones I’ve seen here were little baby ones. This one ain’t no baby.”
Cleany gulped. “W-Well, no…I s-suppose not..”
“We’ll hopefully only be evacuated for a day depending on damages. Rgh…something about this storm is givin’ me bad vibes. If your friend a’ yours is stayin’ here, he’s gonna learn a big lesson ‘bout them hurricanes.” The car grumbled, driving off as Carry’s door opened for another round of people.
The three friends looked at each other, confused and worried.
“I hope Posty doesn’t stay then..” Cap muttered.
Spooky and Cleany both replied at the same time. “Me neither.”
[15 hours until landfall — MR.WHEELER’S TIRE SHOP]
Roy shuffled boxes over, letting out a sigh. “Mr. Wheeler, are you positive you want to stay? It won’t be very safe for you here. You can still catch Carry’s last flight out if you hurry.” There was the soft constant sound of wind blowing outside. Darker, meaner clouds were beginning to engulf the town. It wouldn’t be long now.
Mr.Wheeler shook his head. “Well, are you guys leaving?” He countered Roy’s question, raising a brow as he stood up.
“We have to stay.” Roy said simply. “Unless every Broomstown citizen we’re to leave, we must stay.”
“Then no.” Mr. Wheeler sniffed arrogantly. “I trust you guys enough to save me in worst case scenario. Plus, hurricanes usually significantly weaken once they make landfall.”
Roy didn’t say anything, but he pressed his lips together tightly. He knew there was no way to change his mind now, so he decided not to fight it.
“I want to finish my TV show as well, I’m pretty close to the end and I don’t know what will be available in…wherever that relocation place is.” Mr. Wheeler said.
“You know you’ll quickly lose power, right?”
Mr.Wheeler sighed. “I’ve been in a hurricane before. I also have a generator now, so I’ll be okay.”
Roy was at a loss for words, but what else was there to say? You’re an imbecile? That would just be plain rude… “Hey Mr. Wheeler, can I temporarily take down the sign outside of your shop? I just want to ensure as little debris flies around as possible.”
“Sure, do what you want with the place. Oh—say, who else is waiting out the hurricane?”
Roy shrugged. “There are quite a few other families and individuals who are riding it out. Most of the town left, however.” He pushed through the doors of Mr.Wheeler’s shop, and looked up towards the sign. He would have to take everything out front down, then tape and board up the windows. There was still so much work to be done, and so little time.
Roy climbed up to the sign, loosening the bolts.
Pitter…patter…
The rain slowly began. It was a soft sprinkle, but it was also the beginning of a long, long night.
Roy shivered at the thought. Hopefully Mr.Wheeler was right. The hurricane would make landfall, then dissipate. If only.
[10 hours until landfall — SIDE ROADS NEAR THE HARBOR]
Poli stood near the edge of the cliff that lead down to the water. He could already tell the water was very slowly rising, the waves crashed among each other constantly. The sea seemed to be at war with itself, as though fending off an imminent threat.
He watched as a large flock of birds battled against the slowly growing winds, their cries signaling abnormality. Poli was checking the emergency phones, yet he would be lucky if they still stood after this event. He stared down at the harbor. It was strange not seeing the crane triplets, Cici, or even Lifty down there. It was completely empty.
Moving the crane triplets had been a bit of a hassle, but they didn’t want to stay, and the rescue team had to fulfill that wish. It was almost like looking into a ghost town.
The birds soon faded into the distance, and the only sound that occupied the area was the raging waves of the ocean. There was a soft rumble among the horizon. The storm was getting closer.
Poli cought a hold on himself, driving on to the nearest emergency phone. He did a few quick inspections, came to the conclusion it was fine, and carried on. On his way back towards the heart of the town, he heard a voice.
“Poli! Wait!”
It was high pitched, and Poli knew exactly who it was. He sighed and turned around. “Hello, Posty. How are you so far?”
Posty soon caught up. “I’m well, thank you. I hope the preparations haven’t been too much of a hassle on you and you team?” He did seem a bit worried.
“It’s been fine. Just a little stressful, I’ll admit.”
“I can only imagine!” Posty exclaimed. “I hope everything turns out okay, these clouds are looking pretty mean..but anyways, I better be headed back. I need to do something important. Bye Poli!” He then raced off.
“Ah, goodbye Posty.”
Poli sighed again. Posty did have a point, the clouds were looking rather worrying. But he did suppose things wouldn’t stay bright and sunny forever. Even though sometimes he wished it did.
[5 hours until landfall — BROOMS FOREST]
Amber headed deeper into the forest, which was completely void of people now. She had to settle down some things and fix some other things, but otherwise it was just a quick skim of the forest. The wind effortlessly rattled the trees around her like toys. The previous sprinkles of before had now become fat, yet slow, droplets that plopped down from the sky.
Admittedly, she was nervous. Very nervous. Something in her gut screamed to get away from here as fast as she could, but there was no leaving now. Carry was not going to fly back in, and the storm was too close. It was a matter of hours now before it made landfall. It was creeping up on them like prey, and it was ready to kill.
The storm growled above her, eager and hungry. The winds tried to push her back, but she continued on. The storm was growing stronger as it approached Broomstown. It loomed over them like a dark shadow, cutting out the sun and glaring down upon them. It sent shivers down her spine.
Finally, she reached the emergency phone that she had needed to tend to. She stabilized it into the ground, then ran a quick inspection. Admittedly, she did not want to spend another second here. Leaves flew off of the trees, begging her to run with them. Run to some place safe. Somewhere that was not home.
This place reminded her of when she and the team had to rescue Helly during a hurricane. Not fun, considering she was basically in one right now.
Amber turned back, ready to head home. With every step her legs seemed to carry her faster, the wind assisting her until she was moving at full speed towards home.
[Landfall — HQ]
Jin stared as the rain lashed against the windows. The hurricane roared above them, shivering the building below them. The rain was already beginning to pile up within their parking area outside. Lightning flashed and thunder clapped loudly.
There was one thing that worried Jin. Her teammates. None had returned yet, and Jin was left alone within the confines of the rescue center. It was cold inside, unlike the humid outdoors. Jin shivered. She was unsure whether it was with fear, or if she was just cold.
Thunder roared, and the ground shook. Jin clutched her coffee.
Jeez, where are they? Jin wondered. They should have been back a while ago…
Jin wanted to go out and look, but the conditions were far too bad to go running out and about. She would just have to wait until she gets a sign.
[HELLY]
Rain pounded against Helly’s skin, leaving red marks with each hit. The wind hassled the rain around at such high speeds it hurt. And it hurt pretty bad. Helly swallowed as water began to pool at his feet. Town square was somewhat high up, yet still too close to sea level to be comfortable. He was far enough inland not to worry right? Or was the town closer to the water than he thought-? After all, he did live on a island…what if they water engulfed them entirely?
He shook the thought away, wading to grab hold of the Thunder statue. The water at his feet moved with speed. This water was not clear and sparing, it was muddy, dark, and mean. This water had no intentions on passing by lightly. To add to that, the rain came down quickly in large quantities, the water was quickly rising. Plus the harsh winds pushed him around, and he was obviously unable to fly.
WHOOSH.
Helly’s heart stopped. Something flew right past his head. Something metallic and hard.
KA-THUNG!
It collided with great force against a building behind him. He slowly turned around. It was a road sign. A road sign that had been pulled from the ground and launched at his head. A few inches over and…no. No, don’t think about that.
The clouds above erupted into a loud laughter, and the ground shook once more.
CRASH!
A tree branch snapped off a tree and slammed against a nearby building. The trees around him shivered in terror, as though they would be next to be torn apart by these winds.
I have to get out of here! Helly thought quickly, his eyes wide and his heart pounding. The water reached his ankles now. Helly waded through the water, clutching onto a tree after a few steps. “Ngh..” the wind prevented him from taking smooth steps. It pushed him back, trying to pull him down into the water.
There was a loud rumble in the distance. The loud sound thundered in his direction. Though this wasn’t thunder. It sounded more like…rushing water?
Then it clicked.
No. No, nononononono-! He thought frantically. The dam! The one that kept the town from completely flooding. It had broken! Helly didn’t have much time to think before he was swallowed up in the water. It hit him like a brick, slamming his body to the ground before the debris-filled water rolled over him.
He waved his arms around, trying to pull himself up to the surface. This had to be at least 5 feet of water that weighed him down. His head popped up above the water, and he gasped for air. The water moved quickly, sweeping him away. The storm cackled again above him, and he saw victorious lightning light up the sky.
The water pushed him under again, and he flailed helplessly. Then, his arm caught something. A tree branch! He clutched it hard, trying to pull against the current to get atop it. His legs began to feel tired, and he pushed harder. “Rgghh!! Helly c’mon!!” He cried to himself. “Agggh!” He hissed again.
Finally, Helly was upon the branch, and he lifted himself further into the tree. The wind growled at his success, and tried to force him back down into the rapidly rising water. Helly wrapped his arms around the trunk of the tree as the little branch snapped off. The bark dug into his arms, and oil began to spill.
“Help!” He cried, though he could barely hear himself over the thrashing rain and howling winds. His arms begun to hurt, the rain hit his back like bullets, the wind threatened to tear him off the tree and into the water, and the tree shook violently, barely managing to stay up.
“Help me! Somebody! Roy! Poli! Please! Anybody!” He sobbed he couldn’t tell whether he was crying or if it was just the rain slapping his face. Everything hurt now, his arms were tired, his legs were tired, his skin burned, his lungs burned. At this point, what didn’t?
“Poli! Please!” He cried, hiccuping between his cracked words. “Help me!” The water creeped up to his feet again, and he tried to push himself further up the tree.
Now he wasn’t even sure if any of his friends were even alive. None of them had ever called in their return, and if they were out here…Helly didn’t want to think about it, but it sat in his brain like a rock. He hadn’t eaten in hours yet he was disgusted by the thought.
Then, he saw something that made his heart want to stop. An arm. It was a human arm, there was no body attached to it, just a lonesome limb, wandering the world. Away from its home. Helly choked on his own saliva for a moment. He looked away, burying his face into the tree bark.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR……
The sound of the storm tearing apart what he once called home.
BANG, CRASH
The sound of debris of what was once his town being whipped around like toys.
CATHOOM
The sound of homes being washed away from their premises, and collapsing into the abuses below,
CRACK, SNAP!
The sound of the tree he clutched to breaking and bending, ready to come apart.
Helly didn’t know what to do anymore. He had no idea how he had come to this point, but he was terrified. His eyes were sealed shut as he used his remaining strength to hold on.
CRACK!
The tree leaned, and began to fall. Helly shot open his eyes to the piercing rain. Havoc. Pure havoc. He kicked away with his feet as the tree tumbled into the water with a groan, then disappeared in the abyss of death below. Now Helly clutched to the sharp, prickly remains of the stump, which was already beginning to be covered itself in water.
“….s-save me…” Helly whimpered. His strength was almost gone, and his arms wanted to give away. He wanted to sink into the death pit below it accept his fate. His teammates, his friends, his family…they were most likely there themselves. Helly didn’t what to die alone; not like this.
He wanted to be in the arms of his family. The ones who had brought him up and saved him. He was ready to give up.
Just as his strength was about to give into the harsh winds, to the beating rain, to the tornadoes that danced around him…it stopped.
Everything. The wind, the rain….everything. Helly shivered and looked up slowly. “Wh-wha..?” He was shocked he was still alive.
Was that the sun?
Was that the beautiful blue sky he missed so dearly?
The sun stared sadly down upon Helly. It seemed as though it wanted to cool everything down, remove the wind that sheered the land. But it could not.
Helly stared up at it, his tears reflected it’s beautiful rays.
He was in the eye of the hurricane.
All of the chaos, all of the pain, everything, had slowed to a stop. Now he had 20 minutes to decide what the heck to do. What to think.
Helly looked around. Mr.Wheeler’s shop was completely washed away now, trees had been pulled from their roots and their stems, stoplights, gates, fences all pulled up from the ground and tossed away.
Helly saw something. Something that for some reason…gave him hope. Oil. It remained separate from the water, refusing to give in to the storm. It was broken, and it strayed far from its home, but it remained strong and separated. It would not let itself be washed over by the water. Till it’s last drop it will fight.
Though oil usually meant someone was hurt or…in this case dead. Something told him differently.
He needed to be that oil. To not give up until it’s very last breath.
But how? He thought as he looked around. Everything was gone. The buildings. The vegetation. The life. It was all sucked away in a blink of an eye. Everything that took him and his family generations to build up, destroyed within a matter of moments.
He didn’t know how he felt anymore. He didn’t know if he was happy or sad, cold or hot, wet or dry, alive or dead….he was just numb. Completely.
Numb.
He sat, staring off into the nothingness silently. He knew he had little time before the second half hit but..he was still struggling to process that he was still even alive. For all he knew, he could be watching in a third person perspective, dead.
Finally, his senses came back.
Helly scrambled to his feet, stabilizing himself atop the uneven tree stump. His heart pounded, but he knew he needed to find a better spot. Then, a large fallen tree began to float by in the deep waters. Helly knew what to do. He jumped onto the tree’s back, taking a few moments to ensure he didn’t fall, then gazed around.
He floated past a few thick trees, and he decided to climb one for the second half. It was his only choice. He latched onto a tree’s remaining branch, and rested himself in between it and the trunk. He turned his gaze back to the waters, and he gave a frightened shiver.
Body parts. Limbs. Homes. Personal items. They all floated around in the water that was beginning to temporarily slow, yet didn’t lower. He wondered how many people whom had stayed even survived. He was numb to everything around him. He just wanted things to be normal again.
Then, a tear. Another. A choke. A cry.
Helly sobbed.
He sobbed for the lives that had been lost, sobbed for the homes that had been destroyed, sobbed for the sun that was already beginning to hide again.
Pat..pitter…
Round 2 was beginning.
It was a long night. The sun set as the second half of the storm went through. But just as quickly as the storm had come in, it left. Helly remained clutched to the tree all night long. By morning most of the storm water had gone down a few feet, but Broomstown was still a disaster.
Helly slowly climbed down from the tree, looking around. To feel solid ground against his feet was a blessing. He collapsed onto the ground, finally feeling the freedom of relaxing. Just to be able to lay on the ground, even in the murky water, it was still so much for comfortable than being stuck up in a tree.
At was so, so nice.
But wait. Helly thought, what about the others? Helly jumped up to his weak feet. He picked a direction and ran. Though he could barely stand, he could not lay around any longer. He pushed through all the rubble. “Roy? Poli! Anybody?!” He called, feeling a stab of desperation.
Then, a weak voice.
“..o-over here..! H-Help…!”
It wasn’t Roy’s or Poli’s or Amber’s or Jin’s, but it was one he recognized. “Mr.Wheeler! Where are you?!” He called desperately.
“Down…here..!” He called, and a small hand appeared from the rubble. “I..can’t get u-up!”
Helly ran over quickly. “Don’t worry, let me help you!” He picked up a few pieces of wood, throwing them to the side. Mr. Wheeler then pulled himself out. There was a large gash across his stomach, and many cuts up his arm, but otherwise somewhat okay.
“Rgnh, that hurricane packed quite the punch, didn’t it-?” Mr.Wheeler said, an attempt of a joke shown through, but Helly could tell he was devastated. “My shop…”
Helly sighed sadly and nodded. “I thought I was dead for sure…are you okay for now? I need to go look for other survivors and I can’t tend to you wounds right now. I’m so sorry…I was just stuck over there…” Helly pointing to the tree that was barely hanging on now.
“Oh,” Mr. Wheeler said simply. “I did too. But I’ll be okay for a little bit. I’ll see if I can patch this..” he then turned and sat down on a pile of wooden boards.
Helly didn’t reply, yet he stared for a few moments. Though he felt hopeful, he also felt lost. He could only pray that his family was still alive…he shook his head. No. He refused to believe that.
“Hello?!” He called as he limbed quickly down the street. “Is anyone out here?!”
No response.
[POLI]
He rubbed his head, groaning in pain. He was atop a random house’s roof, and felt defeated. He was beginning to dry off now, since the hurricane had left a few hours ago now. His lungs burned from the water he had swallowed. He had spent many long minutes coughing it back up when he awoke. Though his world still spun, but he tried to stand. He was in the middle of a neighborhood. By himself, as far as he knew.
House was one of the only ones in the area that hadn’t collapsed, and he was thankful for that. He didn’t know he had gotten there, but he was just glad to be alive.
Poli slide down off the rooftop, plopping harshly onto the mushy ground below. Now that he was really looking around, he saw a small family huddled together at the end of their driveway. Their dog ran around them in circles, and the dad offered some small pieces of food to his two kids.
He knew the family well, they were all together and they looked mostly alright. Poli decided not to confront them, he wanted to look for others who needed immediate assistance. He walked through the street, his feet never straying from the yellow line. Road laws had to value to him at the moment.
He would have to build all of this up again. And for what? To be destroyed again when another storm rolled through? His mind spun. He didn’t know what to do. Would they rebuild or leave the town to slowly drown? Thinking about it made his head hurt. He would think about it later.
A voice sounded softly in the distance.
“Hello?! Anyone out here?!”
Sounded a bit like Helly….wait, Helly!
“Helly?!” He forced out in reply, moving faster towards the sound. His voice was raspy from not having spoken.
“Poli?!”
Poli saw him.
“Helly!” His voice cracked with relief and excitement.
They ran into each other hard, holding on tight. Helly sniffed, and Poli could tell he was crying. He tightened his grip on the smaller male, leaning down a bit a match Helly’s height. Before he knew it, he was on the verge of tears himself. He was just so thankful to have at least one of his teammates alive and breathing. Right in his grip, where he didn’t want to let him go.
After a long few moments, Poli slowly stood up. He looked down at Helly’s teary eyes, and gave him a small smile. Something he hadn’t done in so long. It felt nice.
Helly sniffed and rubbed his face. “P-Poli, do you want to try to find the others?” He asked softly, taking Poli’s hand and not letting go.
Poli nodded. He felt like he couldn’t speak, perhaps it was from the lump that hung in his throat. He squeezed Helly’s hand and moved forward along the path.
They walked for a while, Helly occasionally calling out to people. Though Poli did want to look for the others, they needed to get back to the Rescue Center. Hopefully the others would be there.
[AMBER]
She held her arms up, eyes wide with worry.
“Posty, jump down. I’ll catch you, I promise.”
Posty shook his oily head. “No! I’m going to get hurt even more than I already am!” He was pretty scratched up.
Amber nodded. “I know, but I can’t treat you when your still in that tree! You won’t feel any better bleeding out in a tree like that!” She said, trying to get him down.
They had climbed those trees to escape the rising river waters. They were in the forest, near where the bridge used to cross the small river. Due to the hurricane, the river had risen to a concerning extent. Yet the debris that flew around posed more of a danger to them.
Amber hadn’t seen any of the damage that had happened in town, but she was worried about it. She lifted up her barely working transmitter, and called back to Jin. None of the others had responded when he tried to reach them.
“C’mon Posty,” she tried to lull him down again.
Posty grimaced. “Fine…” he slowly shuffled from the trees. “AHH!”
Amber rushed forwards, barely catching him. She sighed exhaustedly. “…see? That wasn’t so bad.”
Posty was laid onto the ground when Jin’s voice came through her transmitter.
“Amber! Do you think you’ll be able to make it back to the rescue center?” Jin asked.
Amber looked around. The water had significantly lowered since last night, so she should be able to wade through the river without an issue. She lifted her transmitter up, “Yes, I think I should be able to. I’ll try to be back as soon as possible. I need to help Posty cross the river, since the bridge broke.”
“Okay! I’m glad I’m at least hearing from one of you guys…I’m really worried.”
They both sat in silence for a few moments, before Jin hung up. Amber turned to Posty. “Okay, so I’m going to have to carry you across…are you comfortable with that? If not I could always carry supplies from one side to another. At least until we can get something safer for you to cross on.”
Posty shook his head. “No, no, you can take me I guess. I don’t want to make things harder on you guys.”
Amber didn’t argue, it would be easier if he could just run back home. She nodded. “Okay. Come on, I don’t have much time.” Might as well get things over with quickly so she can check on the rest of the town.
Posty and Amber headed for the river, Amber pushing past tree limbs and other random pieces of debris like road signs. Soon, they reached it, which was mostly calm, but still moved quickly.
“Alright, you sure you want to do this, Posty?” Amber asked, ensuring he wanted to do this.
Posty nodded. “Yes! All my packages are going to be ruined! I need to see their condition!” He hissed, jumping up and down worriedly.
Amber sighed, bending down to pick him up. She pulled him up into her arms, just barely being able to see past him. She slowly made her way through the water, feeling it tug on her legs. They reached the other side, and Amber rested Posty on the bank side.
“There, now you go head off to your—AH!” Amber felt her foot slip. She fell and landed hard in the water. She felt her screen scratch the rocks in the bottom, and the water tugging her along. She pushed up with her arms, getting up onto her knees. She took a surprised few breaths, and shook the cold water off of her.
“Oh my gosh! Amber! Are you okay?!” Posty asked, looking shocked himself.
Amber stood up, spitting out some water that got trapped in her mouth. “Ugh, yeah. I’m fine…”
***
“Oh thank god you guys are okay!” Jin cried. Running up to them. “Where were you guys?!”
Helly frowned. “We got stuck in the hurricane…sorry Jin. I should’ve known better…”
“We all should’ve known better, Helly,” Amber said, giving him a sympathetic look. “It wasn’t just you who got caught in the storm you know..” She gave him a small pat on the shoulder.
Jin sighed. “It’s great to have you all back but—wait, no, where’s Roy?” Her voice shifted to a concerned one.
They all looked around.
“Has anyone seen him?” Jin asked.
They all shook their heads.
Amber thought for a moment. “I did see him before the storm hit, but otherwise no…”
Helly looked at Amber then back at Jin. “Should we go look for him? What if he’s in trouble?”
“No,” said Amber. “we need to make sure all of us are fit to travel, Helly, you’re all banged up. Before we go look for him, we will treat our wounds.” She established. She did know best for this situation.
Jin nodded in agreement. “That sounds good, Amber.”
It took a few days before Poli got out of the rescue center to look for Roy. We was getting worried now, especially with no signs of him. Surprisingly, there were a few emergency phones that still worked, and they were getting many calls from residents who stayed. They begged for help and cried about their homes…it was horrible.
But Poli wanted to find Roy first. He needed to. He couldn’t stand still a second longer not doing so. It stuck to him like a needle in his kneecap…however that works. Of course he felt like shit, but it was a weight on his shoulders that seemed to strangle him.
He groaned. It was all so much. So much for one leader. One guy who had to chose whether they should give up or rebuild, what to do and how, when to do it and where, try to somehow fix his town from…that.
That monster.
The monster that slowly shrunk among the horizon, yet it’s teeth still sunk through the grounds of Broomstown. Through the heart. Through his and everyone else’s hearts. Homes. Lives. Everything.
He shook his head, trying so desperately to clear it. He wanted everything to just be okay again. To fix themselves. To go back to when everyone was happy and healthy and safe and…and…
THWAP !
Something struck Poli hard in the head. Then black.
Birds chirped and plucked at the flowers that tried ti heal within the soil’s bounds. Their wilted, destroyed petals slumped sadly against his cold skin. Yet, even in their wilted state, they protected him. The ones that had managed to heal enough stood triumphantly over his body. Like an I survived statement to the world.
Because they survived. Unlike others, they continued to try to bloom even in the thick of it, when their petals were torn away from their stems.
They brushed his face, a call to wake up. A call to come back to reality. There was much to do for this young, unconscious man in the grass; huddled by beautiful, yet hurt, flowers.
His eyes slowly opened, the sun brightened with excitement to his sigh of waking up. Waking up.
From this nightmare?
No.
He sat up slowly, feeling trickles of water that hid in small dark spots of his body scatter away. Everything remained fuzzy as he looked left-to-right. A small bee flew from a flower petal to his knee. It buzzed happily as it saw him. Hello! It seemed to say. Wake up! Wake up! There is work to be done! Buzz along, boy!
He looked closer at the busy bee. Very busy indeed. There were many flowers to be pollinated. The bee buzzed it’s wings on his knee. That town won’t pollinate itself, boy! Go save your hive! Then, it flew off. He was glad to know he wouldn’t be the only one busy tonight.
Now, he stared at his hands. His feet, up to his knees, his waist, his arms, then his wrists. His once bright red paint was now stained and scratched and cut up. He felt like the little bee that had buzzed off. Did he have to pollinate the town, make it beautiful so it can flourish and spread once again? Like the bee with its flowers?
Yes.
He look his grey cut hand and lifted it to his face. Then…
WHAP!
His cheek stung, but he was ready now.
He jumped to his feet, ignoring how his legs screamed in pain as he did so. “C’mon, Roy,” he said to himself. “Sitting around won’t help people.”
Before he knew it, Roy was plunging down the small hillside. His legs and feet brought him speed, his arms brought him strength, but what he needed was his town. His town gave him bravery. Endurance. It made him and shaped him into who he truly was. He would not let it go to waste now.
No matter how many hurricanes plunged through and threatened to tear them apart, they would always be together. Whether in Broomstown or somewhere far, far away.
When he came back to reality, he stood in the middle of town square. It was only now that he noticed the thick, long trail of black oil spilling down the front of his face. He probably had a concussion. He wiped it away.
The town was in ruins. It looked like it had been abandoned for years. Many years; one storm. Gone. Everything.
Roy refused to let this deter him. He pushed his gaze towards the gate that lead to the rescue headquarters. His home. Almost by instinct, he pushed past the red and white bars, his feet carrying him further and further. He last many broken families, but for once his mind wasn’t in them. His mind was on home.
home…
He missed his team—his family so much. He had not idea when things had been so suddenly torn away, yt it left a whole in his heart he wanted to fill. Just seeing one of their faces would…wait.
There it was. There he was. On the side of the road, clearly unconscious, laid his friend. Best friend, to be exact. A fat tree branch laid beside him. He must had somehow been hit.
Roy rushed to Poli’s side, almost tripping over his own feet.
“Poli? Poli!” He cried, shaking Poli’s shoulders weakly.
Poli shifted with a short groan of pain. His beautiful blue eyes met Roy’s thick, teary, brown ones.
“R-Roy?” Poli’s eyes widened, and the suns rays made them sparkle like new. Every aspect of them was illuminated. It was almost like looking into a glacier. The prettiest, bluest, bestest glacier he’d ever known.
“Poli…”
Roy ducked down and engulfed Poli in his arms. Oil from his bleeding head stained Poli’s forehead, but he didn’t care. He hugged a little tighter.
“W-We thought you were dead, Roy!” Poli exclaimed, tears escaping his relieved gaze. “You we’re gone for d-days and we had no idea w-where you w-were…”
Roy’s eyes widened again in shock. Days? Had he really been knocked out that badly?
“I-I…I got some kind of bad head injury…I didn’t think I was out for that long…I’m so sorry for worrying you guys…I don’t know..”
Poli slowly got up from the roadside. “…well I guess we’re matching in head injuries, that’s for sure.” He joked, though his voice was still thick from his tears and worry.
Roy nodded. “Let’s head back to the rescue center. Then we can discuss what we’re going to do with the town. Remember Poli, we, your team, will be there every step of the way. The weight isn’t just on you, you’re not alone. If you ever need help, or need a break, we have you covered. Just please…don’t overwork yourself. I know how it is coming from me but…”
Poli’s gaze went to his feet, then back up at Roy. “T-Thank you. I’m so lucky to have you guys.”
Roy took Poli’s hand with a soft smile. “Come on. We have things to do.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
That’s it 😭
I’m sorry to end it a bit abruptly but this is getting so long already….
W to you i you read all of this.
I’ll check for grammar mistakes later, so I’m sorry if I left any weird/random cliffhangers or just stupid grammar mistakes lol
Good night :3
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