#also hey what’s up remember when i made personal posts? you don’t? it’s cuz i didn’t!

[eeveelvl37]

spent two hours trying to figure out how to add custom sounds to the wowozela in gmod. turns out i can’t fucking read, which is funny because i also have a joke literacy mod installed as well!!

[polkadotpenguin16]

The Five Stages of Grief: Depression

A/N: Thank you to everyone for your patience in waiting for me to finish this chapter! Getting myself to write has felt like pulling teeth as of late. But we’re here! And we’re almost done!! Let’s get angsty…

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: you read the title, right?

Word count: 2,410

Previous parts: Prologue | Denial | Anger | Bargaining

Also posted on AO3.

You and your friend were lounging on the couch, devouring a carton of chocolate chip mint ice cream, while watching what felt like an endless Lord of the Rings marathon. “I don’t remember this being so long,” you mused as you licked chocolate bits off your fingers.

“That’s cuz it’s the extended edition,” she replied with her mouth full of ice cream. “It’s the only way to watch it. You want to feel like you’re walking to Mordor in real-time.”

You smirked and shook your head at her logic. This was nice. Getting lost in Middle Earth was a welcomed distraction from inner turmoil.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Your friend shifted herself on the couch to look at you. “When are we gonna get your stuff?”

You looked at her confused. “My stuff?”

“Yeah, from your apartment? You can stay as long as you like. Just wanna know if we need to rent a truck or something.”

“Um…” You hadn’t thought about what exactly your next steps were. If you and Sonny were over, that meant moving out of the apartment. It meant packing up the pieces of your old life, the one you’d built with Sonny, and moving on. And that was terrifying.

“Hey, hey, no pressure here!” She reassured you as she saw the panicked look on your face. “We don’t need to plan anything tonight. Let’s just watch the movie. I think Aragorn is gonna do something badass in a minute, anyway.”

It was late when you finished all the movies. Your friend went to bed, but you couldn’t sleep. The gravity of your situation was weighing heavily on your chest. It was truly over. You believed only a day ago that this was what you wanted. 

This was what was best for you and Sonny. 

You had thought you would both move on to better things—people better suited for each other. And Sonny probably would. But you realized that you didn’t want better.

You just wanted Sonny.

You missed him. A lot. Missed his laugh, his smile, the way his brows scrunched together when he was concentrating. You missed laying your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. And all those times Sonny was working until 3 in the morning or disappearing to help Amanda, you had missed him. And you never let him know. “It’s fine” was what you always said. But it wasn’t fine. You missed him, needed him, wanted him, and you never told him.

“What have I done?” You were curled up in a ball on the floor. Your cheeks felt cold from the tears streaming down them. There was no coming back from this. You walked out that night. You ignored him. You said some unforgivable things. You ruined everything.

Spiraling into a black hole of despair, you felt hopeless. You resigned yourself to the darkness, hoping it would engulf you. Your heart ached in your chest. What hurt more than knowing it was over, was thinking of how much pain you caused Sonny. Beyond leaving that night, you turned down every attempt he made to reconcile. He was trying. All you’d wanted for so long was for him to try, to choose you. And when he did? You practically slapped him in the face with it. He deserved better than that.

But what could you do? The damage was done. Sonny wasn’t going to reach out to you again. Not after what you said. He was done trying.

Perhaps now was your turn to start.

You could reach out to him. But what would you say? What do you even tell someone after you broke their heart? You grabbed your phone and started composing a text. Your hands shook as you typed and retyped the message. You weren’t going to get all your thoughts into one text. The right thing to do would be to tell him in person. Maybe he’d give you the grace you so rudely denied him.

Hi. I’d really like to talk to you if you’re willing to listen. But I’d understand if you aren’t. Would you meet me at Prospect Park on Saturday?

After several minutes of working up your nerve, you hit send and put your phone down. You waited anxiously, silently praying he would reply. The suspense was killing you. You imagined this was how Sonny felt when you ignored him, and that made you hate yourself even more.

You don’t know how long you sat in the dark when you heard your phone ping. You couldn’t breathe as you picked it up and saw a new message.

3pm work for you?

You let out your breath and immediately replied.

Yes, I’ll be there. Thank you.

He’d accepted your olive branch. Maybe there was still a chance for the two of you. Even if there wasn’t, at least you would be able to apologize face to face. He deserved that. Whatever the outcome of Saturday, you had the chance to make things right.

It was nearing 10 o’clock, and Sonny and Amanda were the last ones at the station. Once he finished writing this report, he could finally leave. But he’d been stuck rewriting his last paragraph at least a dozen times. He was distracted thinking about you. By some miracle of God, you reached out and said you wanted to meet. About what you didn’t mention, but you were ready to talk to him. That was more than he’d ever expected.

But he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Maybe you just wanted to coordinate moving out, transferring the lease, and such. There was still a big chance you were over forever, and it emotionally destroyed him. Coming to grips with losing the love of his life had been incredibly depressing. You’d been the glue keeping him from coming apart at the seams. The thought of going through his life without you in it was incredibly painful, but nonetheless, a truth he was facing. However, he couldn’t help the optimist in him from thinking there was the tiniest sliver of hope that things could all work out. But the ball was in your court now. He’d apologized and tried his best to fix things. It was up to you now on how you both moved forward.

Sonny heard Rollins sigh from her desk in relief. “That’s it, I’m calling it a night. And so should you.” She got up and put on her jacket. “You know, I could use some help painting my apartment. It might cheer you up. I’ll even splurge and order wings with the pizza.”

“Sorry, not this weekend,” he replied, still staring at his laptop, trying to get his thoughts into his report so he could be done for the day, too.

She was surprised by his answer. He was never one to turn her down. “Really? You got something funner to do than manual labor and eating mediocre food with your friend?” She remarked sarcastically.

“No, um…I’m going to talk with my girlfriend on Saturday.”

She looked at him perplexed. “What’s there to talk about? I think she was loud and clear on what she thought of you.”

“She reached out to me, Rollins. I just want to hear her out.”

“Seriously? What could she possibly have to say for herself? Have some self-respect.”

Sonny shook his head and went back to typing. He wasn’t in the mood to bicker. He’d had enough arguing to last him a lifetime.

Undeterred, Rollins walked towards his desk and leaned down to look at him at eye level. “Listen, dating a detective…it’s not for everyone. It means missed birthdays and canceled dates. A lot is expected of us, and we sometimes miss out on things. She’s shown you she can’t cut it.”

“Well, maybe I can’t either.” Sonny sat back in his chair and slapped his thighs. He’d been having doubts about his career for a while. The pressure and horrors he faced were starting to get to him. He wasn’t sure if he had it in him to continue this path.

“What do you mean? Of course you can. You do it every day.” She was taken aback by his comment. She hadn’t noticed how disillusioned he’d become in the past several months.

“I don’t wanna be like those old timers who wind up bitter and alone. There’s gotta be more to life than…this.”

“Come on, you don’t mean that.” She came up to him and patted his shoulder. “This is our lives. It’s what we do. And you’re not gonna be alone, we’re partners.”

“You’re telling me you’ve never thought about calling it quits?” She huffed at his ridiculous question. “No, really. Day in and day out, dealing with the worst of the worst, you’ve never wanted a change?”

“You’re a cop, Carisi. It’s in your blood. What else would you be doing?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I could…” He took a second to ponder the possibilities. “I could be a consultant and sit on my ass all day getting fat and rich. Or become one of those hipster photographers who drives around the country taking pictures and living in a van. Hell, I could move to the DA’s office! Now that would be a change.” Sonny laughed at the thought. He’d played around with the idea of using his law degree, but never seriously given it any weight. Maybe this was his sign to start.

“Wait a sec…” She analyzed his face trying to decipher if he was genuinely considering this. “You can’t be serious.”

“Well, maybe. My law degree’s been gathering dust. Might be nice to get some use out of it. You know, a fresh start.”

Rollins’ demeanor changed. Her body tensed and her face became serious. “So, you would just throw away everything you’ve worked for? And for what? To make your girlfriend feel better about herself?” Her speech sped up as she tried to get all her thoughts out.

“Hey, leave her out of this.” He said defensively but calmly. “If I decide to go, it would be for me.”

“That’s not you, Carisi. The stuffy lawyers, the politics? You’d hate it there!”

“I haven’t even done anything! What are you getting so upset about?” Sonny couldn’t gauge what was getting her so upset. “I’m just talking about trying to make a better life for myself. Thought you’d want that for me.”

She looked at him like he had three heads. Her cheeks flushed red, and her jaw clenched tightly. “Be happy about you leaving? How stupid are you?”

Sonny stared at her in disbelief. He was completely perplexed on how this conversation turned from confiding in his friend to having his character bashed.

“And what about all of us here?” She gestured to the empty desks of the detectives who’d already gone home. “You would just—you’d pack up your stuff and ditch us? You said you were my partner, and you—you’re gonna walk out on me?” Rollins was becoming irate, stumbling over her words.

“You’re acting like I’m moving to the other side of the world!” He was at the end of his tether. His whole life, he’d been living for others. The never-ending pressure of having to be everything for everyone was too high. He couldn’t seem to do right by anybody. So why did he even try? “There’ll be other detectives. You’d be just fine.”

“No, I need you, Sonny! I need you here beside me!”

The room went deathly silent. It was finally clear to Sonny what she’d been trying to say. After all this time, this was how she really felt?

“When did that change, Amanda?” He asked, his voice no louder than a whisper. Hazy memories of a trip to West Virginia and long forgotten heartache were returning to him.

“Don’t tell me you never felt anything between us.” She stared down at her shoes, unable to look him in the eye just yet.

“Not since you made it clear there wasn’t.”

“I was…not in a good place back then,” she tried to explain. She finally looked up to meet his gaze, needing him to understand her reasoning in her eyes.  “I knew you were looking for something serious and committed, and I wasn’t ready for that.”

“So you thought you could string me along until you were?” Sonny shot up from his chair and crossed his arms. He could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. His whole world felt turned upside down. He thought she was his friend who cared about him. He wasn’t sure what he believed anymore.

“Oh, please, you weren’t strung along,” she scoffed at his suggestion. “You’re telling me you weren’t happy to help me out? Hang out with my kids? I never asked you to do any of that—”

“No, you just expected it,” he snapped back. The voices of you and Bella echoed in his ears. “I wanted to help you, Amanda, to try to make your life a little easier. I did those things because I thought—”

“Anyone could see you were way more invested in your relationship with me than with your own girlfriend,” she sharply pointed out, her words cutting deeply into his heart. “We’re practically a family already, Carisi.”

Sonny stood there defeated. How could he have not seen all this? “You were my best friend…” he said breathlessly. Any fight left in him had evaporated. “Guess I was mistaken.” He closed his laptop and started collecting his things.

“Sonny, if you would just hear me out—”

“No, I’ve heard enough of this.” He put on his coat and made his way out. “It’s late, I’m going home.”

“Would you stop?!” She exclaimed in frustration, trying to get his attention. “You’re gonna give up your career, your life, for some girl who doesn’t even appreciate you? I would never make you do that, Sonny—”

But he was already walking out the door. He felt empty inside. He had already lost his love, and now this betrayal from someone he had once called his best friend was more than he could handle. All that he’d done for Amanda was still somehow not enough. He needed to start thinking about himself. He wasn’t sure of what his future would look like, whether you would be in it or not. Bella was right. 

He’d have to hope for brighter days ahead.

[olderthannetfic]

I hate to revive DNI discourse when it just ended on this blog but I often don’t think it’s as deep as people make it out to be and there’s a lot of, for lack of a better word, ~valid~ reasons someone may have a DNI. Like there’s absolutely contexts of “Kink Blogs DNI” disclaimers having an anti, swerf, etc undertone but sometimes I get it — for example I follow a couple of disability activists who post A LOT about incontinence, needing a caregiver, ETC who have stuff like “ABDL/DDLG/Devotee Blogs DNI.” Oftentimes that is not an indicator on their moral stance of those kinks, but rather them just being like “hey this is an activism-based journal where I post about incredibly personal things in regards to my own life, and while anyone has the right to read or reblog from me, if you’re clearly getting off to my medical needs or even if I get the vague impression you are, you WILL be blocked.”

Obviously that is an incredibly extreme and personal example, but I don’t think having a DNI boundary in your bio is ALWAYS a morality/discourse stance. On a much lighter note, I’m pretty active on Kpop Twitter, and there’s a lot of “RPF DNI” accounts there, and I think that’s more of a “I just want to post about my favorite band without shippers quote retweeting/replying to make it about their ship, and if you do so, I’ll block you. They’ve made public statements against these ships or about their real relationships and I am uncomfortable with people trying to dispute that.”

Oh yes there’s absolutely antis who hate RPF communities and all they stand for. But there’s also people who just straight up don’t want that on their account.

And like. As someone casually involved with RPF (i gossip about potential relationships with close friends and will reblog joke posts about it and will read it, but I’m not a writer for it and I’m definitely not someone who actually tries to speculate just how heavy the “fiction” part of an RPF ship might be), whether or not I choose to follow a person with such DNI depends on context. I keep my RPF ships/opinions off my main account, and even if I DO see a post that I would otherwise interpret as possibly shippy, I just won’t bring it up on said person’s posts, you know?

Damn this made me remember I have a DNI myself on one my accounts, 🤣 I have a minors DNI on one of my sideblogs. But I know I can’t prevent minors from seeing my posts or lying about their age or reblogging to a private sideblog or doing anything else that would go unnoticed. But once I do notice you interacting, if you’re clearly underage I’ll block you, just cuz I don’t feel comfortable with minors following my smutty fanart account even if I know minors look at smutty fanart, as someone who did look at smutty fanart as a minor. . .🎶Maybe I’m the problem it’s me. 🎶

--

No.

It's a stupid phrasing and no amount of validity in the criteria will make it less stupid.

No one here thinks they're always deep and meaningful. What we all say every time this comes up is that it's bad to conflate "I will block you if..." and "It is your job to research my boundaries ahead of time".

I'm not interested in people crying about how they like using an inaccurate term and everyone is supposed to understand what they mean. In practice, many people do mean that it's other people's job to enforce their boundaries for them. Validating this garbage terminology just encourages them.

It's a stupid, shitty term and we should move away from it.

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

Hey sorry I know you probably wrote this before (idk how to find the post if you made one) but for art reasons I need to know what Luis' Pokemon team would be. You are the only one I trust to provide the correct answer!

HEHEHHEHEHEHE I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS EXACT THING WAAAAAYYYYY TO MUCH THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ASKING these are all just my opinions obviously!!!!! Buuut IIIIIIII personally think he’d have;

A Mudsbray cuz like. Don Quixote. Donkey. Duh

An Absol now HEAR ME OUT. The Pokédex talks about how Absol were once thought to be able to predict disasters and were seen as bad luck tokens when actuality it was just a rumor so IIIIIIII like to imagine Luis got one after his life went downhill thinking, ‘oh yay this lil guy will be able to tell me when my life’s gonna suck again!!!’ Until he finds out it’s just a rumor and Hey maybe his life WON’T suck forever!!

An Espeon based PURELY off of @geddy-leesbian ‘s Pokémon AU where Luis has one to help calm him down and regulate his negative emotions with its psychic powerrrrrrs

A Klefki cuz imagine instead of giving Leon the key to his lab when he dies he gives him a Klefki. How fucked up would that be

Flabébé cuz I remember reading a line in X&Y where an npc said Flabébé could be given to someone as a romantic confession?? Kinda like Applin??? Like maybe Leon gave him one or something idk!! They’re also found near windmills which is fitting

Iron Valliant. It serves. It slays. It has no gender. It’s from the Pokémon equivalent of Spain. And if you don’t wanna give Luis an overpowered you can just replace it with a Gardevoir like!!! Slay!!

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hey I don’t mean to further flood your inbox and I know I sent an ask a week or so ago. But in church this morning the sermon was on the 1 John passage about how if you hate your brother or sister you don’t love God, and I just. I bet you can guess which political figure immediately comes to mind. I know we’re supposed to love and pray for and forgive our enemies, and it’s not supposed to be a thing where you only do it if you know you’ll get an apology/changed behavior/etc. But the most positive thing I can say where he’s concerned is if he showed up on my doorstep bleeding and starving I would work past my anger to bind his wounds and feed him cuz that’s what you’re supposed to do for fellow human beings. Other than that I have no love for him (or people like him, really). Just anger and immense disdain. Maybe even hate. What do I do with that??

Hey there, I feel you on this. I can also think of maaany political figures I feel this about lol.

I have an old post delving into what it means to love one's enemy and what forgiveness is (and isn't) that I recommend to you.

I'll start with a TL;DR from that post, and then add some other stuff about working through feelings like anger and hate, and close with some reading recs <3

When we find it desperately difficult to love, or to forgive, we can ask God to feel and be what we find ourselves unable to feel and be.

We can remember Christ's words on the cross about the soldiers crucifying him: he does not say "I forgive them," but asks, "Father, you forgive them, for they know not what they do."

He cannot himself forgive them in that moment — not while they are in the act of torturing and killing him, not while they hold all power over him, not even when his compassion allows him to understand that they do what they do out of ignorance — so he asks God to be that forgiveness for them.

When I struggle to feel love for someone who is doing great harm and seems completely unrepentant of that, I turn to God the way Jesus did: "God, I'm struggling to see the spark of You in them. Please love them the way I can't in this moment."

Next point:

Throughout the Bible, the concepts of love and hate are much more about action than sentiment.

If you feel love for someone, yet don't come to their aid when they need it most, what use was that love to them? Meanwhile, if you fear or disdain someone, yet help them in their direst need, you have acted with love.

Furthermore, when it comes to difficult emotions, the good news is that we are indeed invited to bring all our feelings — anger, disdain, even hate — to God. We can be real about what we're feeling.

Scripture shows us this over and over: There are so many psalms, and passages from the prophets, where someone has been hounded and terrorized enough to wish pain or even death upon the ones who oppress them. In one of the most infamous, Psalm 137, the psalmist even goes so far as to wish that their oppressors' children might be "dashed upon a rock" — that everything Babylon has made them suffer might be enacted on Babylon.

These are not pretty feelings, yet they are preserved in holy poetry, because they are part of the human experience. (And tantamount to understanding them is realizing that those praying such things will happen almost never have the power to enact them. The psalmist who wishes Babylon's soldiers experience what they've put the psalmist's people doesn't have the army, the weapons, the power to actually make that happen. They're just honest about wishing it in a moment of collective trauma and grief.)

In all this, I'm not saying God "wants" us to feel loathing or hate — any thought or feeling that puts us at risk of denying another person's humanity is one we do need to work on; but we do that work by being honest about feeling it, rather than being too ashamed to face it or to share it with God.

No pressure to read any of these of course, but here are texts I'd recommend on these topics:

James Baldwin's The Fire Next Time, a brief but rich text in which (among other things) Baldwin grapples with the need to love his oppressor (namely white people) — to affirm their humanity in a way they have denied him. Only in recognizing one another's humanity can we have any hope of something like justice and peace for the generations to come. Baldwin believes this vehemently, but he still acknowledges that it's still not easy, in fact it's one of the hardest things, to love one's oppressors in such a way. .

Cole Arthur Riley's This Here Flesh, another short book rich in meaning. I especially recommend the chapters on lament, rage, justice, and repair for this topic. One thing she discusses is that love is not "niceness," that rage can be righteous, that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to let a harmful person witness our rage, to call them out. .

The same link from the beginning to that post about what forgiveness is and what it is not

[nothoughtsonlytrance]

Hey guys! I usually don’t post something like this, but I thought I might as well anyway, in honor of the 5th anniversary of Dan’s coming out video.

So I mentioned in a previous post in an answer to @demonqueenart that I am pansexual. I’ve known this since around the time that Dan and Phil came out back in 2019. I was in community college at the time, and it was my first time in a public school setting. Before then, I had been to private schools throughout elementary, middle, and high school, and there wasn’t a lot of diversity in terms of how people expressed themselves due to the restrictions and dress codes that the schools enforced. So I never really had a way to express myself in terms of clothing styles and stuff like that. I thought I was straight when I was in high school, and I was already an ally because I had a few close friends or classmates who were LGBTQ, and I accepted them no matter what, (and I was taught growing up that we are called to show kindness and love to others no matter who they were) but it was kinda kept on the down low because it was considered taboo, especially since our highschool was a Christian high school.

When I finally entered community college in 2018, I was astounded by the diversity of people there and the way that people expressed themselves, whether it was by their clothing style, their gender identity, sexuality, etc. And I realized that some of the people who were there were really attractive. And it didn’t matter whether they identified as male, female, nonbinary, or whatever. I never did ask anyone out (cuz I’m a HUGE coward, lol), But I knew that it didn’t matter who the person I’d eventually date was as long as we had a connection, treated each other and others kindly, had a wonderful personality, and had things in common. Questioning my sexuality was one of the many shower thoughts I had lol

I remember scrolling through TikTok as well and seeing the countless ways that people expressed their identities, and it made me feel like I could be that way too. (Literally remember seeing a cosplayer’s version of Cat-ra from She-ra Princess of Power and blushing madly and thinking, “Wait, why am I blushing, why am I feeling this way?!”, haha)

I didn’t see Dan and Phil’s coming out videos until a little while later, but they touched my heart in so many ways when I did. Dan’s “Gay and Not Proud” video also helped me through my journey. So many quotes from the video spoke to me, especially the part when his spiritual subconscious told him,

“Depressed little emo Dan, it wasn’t his fault. Don’t hate him, don’t hate yourself…you have a lot to be proud of.”

Being proud of myself had kinda been a challenge, even to this day. Especially since there has been so much panphobia and harmful stereotypes surrounding pansexuality. Even when people mention different types of sexualities, rarely do they mention pansexuality, and it makes me wonder if I am valid too. I’ve been out to very few people, other than a few friends that I know will accept me, and I’m out to my sister and mother. Most of my extended family is LGBTQ accepting, but at the same time, I’m not sure when I should tell them, especially since I’m not really dating anyone at the moment and I’m kinda nervous about what questions they’ll ask if I do come out. I hope to eventually, tho.

I really do hope one day, I find the right person for me. I’ve never been asked out before, never had my first kiss, or even been on my first date. So no dating experience whatsoever, lol. It’s been really frustrating because so many of my friends and other people my age (early-mid 20s) have been going on dates, finding their soulmates, getting married etc. And it honestly makes me jealous because no one has ever said “I love you” to me in a romantic way. I truly do wish I find someone who loves me for who I am because I don’t want to die alone. I want to eventually start dating, but there’s of course always the risk of catfishing, and I don’t want my heart to be broken at the same time. So it’s been complicated, to say the least.

Well, that was a bit of a rant, but that's the end of it, haha. I hope this message finds you all well. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey, and there will always be people out there who care about you. And if you’re not able to come out just yet, just know that things will get better. I promise. Thank you so much for reading, and if you have any questions, feel free to leave an ask or reply!

I also (one last thing) wanna say a big THANK YOU to all the people who have liked and reblogged my Dan and Phil edits as well as my music. I’ve been getting better and better at using CapCut and GarageBand IOS (yes, I make the music and videos on my phone bc that’s all I can afford to work with, lol. Does it eat up my data? Yes. Do I care? No.), But each time I see that someone liked or reblogged one of my works, it makes me so happy and motivates me to keep going. So I really appreciate it!

More edits and posts will be coming soon, so stay tuned!

-Kristy, aka nothoughts_onlytrance

[soullessjack]

so before I conk out for the night I wanna try and explain all the more complicated stuff with baby!jack and like, how exactly it is more complicated, because not only do I think my own temper tends to make me address it very accusingly and in bad-faith, but also it’s just important to know in the long run. I really hope this is actually worth it because I am sadly very used to wasting my words on people who do not want to listen and also because I’m sleepy and delaying it to make this.

•••

first and foremost, jack being autistic was not something anybody in the show was planning or intending for his character. it wasn’t something alcal had in his head to portray jack and it wasn’t something he was directed to portray. jack is very much a case of what I call accidental autism, or having autism coding; all of the traits that were meant to indicate that he’s a supernatural being wound up aligning very well with autistic traits (as is the case with many nonhuman characters like robots or aliens). then, autistic people in the fandom pointed it out and made it a popular headcanon, which was then brought up to alcal at a convention and basically confirmed/canonized from there.

i wasn’t on tumblr in 2017 (unless you count opening link tabs from other websites) so I wasn’t “there” for babyjack, but you don’t really have to be there to get it. guy is chronologically three years old but an adult in every other way because supernatural creature logic, people wonder “hey what if he was his actual age.” and it’s cute for a little bit, it’s a chance for the poor heavily traumatized guy to catch a break. you see the appeal of that sort of content. nobody’s doing it with bad intentions or even the remotest idea of jack being autistic.

but even though I wasn’t on tumblr for jacks appearance on the show, again I did have minor access to tumblr posts via Pinterest and links, so I could see the “discussions” and whatever. and let me tell you. I was thirteen years old. in eighth grade. when he showed up. and even then I noticed this .. pattern? in the fanart and the talk and all and I remember specifically thinking “yeah I get it he’s baby, but can we actually talk about him” because literally nobody as far as I could see was doing it.

that was six-almost-seven years ago. I am now 19 years old, almost two years graduated from high school, and save for a few blogs (bless u for your work folks), there is still a shocking amount of ppl who just Do Not think about jack with any sort of nuance or complexity. who don’t even engage w his character unless he’s a babyI also didn’t keep up with babyjack cuz it never appealed to me in the first place, But as i got more engrossed in the fandom i saw that it pretty much became the only content being made for jacks character. no in depth discussion or actual canon fanart or anything like that for jack unless u go to a very tiny cobwebby corner of the fandom basically.

•••

if you’re wondering how this comes back to jack being autistic, don’t worry. this is the introduction to that topic. so reiterating the first two things:

in 2017 jack is immediately clocked as precious baby smol bean must protecc material and his whole age situation + all the trauma he basically speedruns leads to au’s where he matches his chronological age. poor boy never stood a chance at being examined critically as a complex person.

(also this is not a time-lined post but it’s very important to add 2017 to gauge the span of this content and also the internet fandom culture of that era).

somewhere down the line autistic fans pick up on Jack’s traits and connect it to our own traits. hashtag autistic jack kline is real and eventually it reaches the silly actor man alcal and the long short of his answer is “representation and having that kind of connection is important so if you think he’s autistic then he’s autistic.” canon by destiel rules basically

However, the entire time that jack is being recognized as autistic and praised/appreciated as representation, people are still going strong with baby!jack content, so strong in fact that it’s insisted as actual canon by some. and I kind of get it. they’re two lil headcanon niches and aren’t gonna cross paths a whole lot. but they still do because it’s the same character and people are sort of starting to connect the dots that Hey This Is Kind Of Weird. autism gang notices that baby gang’s reasoning for Jack being a baby (besides the age) is just his autistic traits. not great! not fun! people start making tiny criticisms of it here and there.

and of course there’s people in the fandom who want to Fuck The Guy and that totally does not pour gasoline on the fire when the discourse is about whether or not the Guy In Question is a mentally stunted large child or just a really autistic teenager.

.

I can’t finish this post I’m sorry I am Not going to bed at 3am again. TLDR every criticism is ignored and the babyjack people keep doing their thang and the really really annoying ones insist it’s canon and call u a pedophile if u want to fuck the guy and just refuse to really acknowledge that they are being ableist at the point in time after he is established to be autistic and also there’s multiple points in the show that literally make it so obvious he’s an adult but no. Ignore whatever u want to pretend he’s a baby.

TLDR again accidentally autistic character creates accidental ableism that people keep double downing on and NOW the general problem is that they are doubling down.

lastly. a LOT of you really and truly need to reconsider why the only way you are willing or able to engage with an autistic teenager character is if they are an infant with absolutely no semblance of personality or development from the actual show AND being specifically depicted this way in order to create the idea of your ship or found family being domestic AND you continuously ignore criticisms of it by autistic people who are telling you it is harmful and rooted in some bad shit. you really really truly genuinely no exaggeration really need to do some thinking about why the fuck you’re doing all that. Goodnight everybody

[thepocket221]

I have brought you Finn headcanons!

Finn is part French

He even speaks French!

Somtimes he calls you little names in French

Big Hozier fan

Also a Harry Styles fan

Terrible at combat video games but puzzle and indie games he's good at

Hes a mf old man

He crochetes little sweaters for you and him

Also to mention

He dances in the kitchen with you with the record player on <33

Soft snoring boy

Sleep talker also

Hes surprisingly strong Also

Its cuz He lifts flower pots for a living He says

This is canon but he is a very good cook

He knows all of the best small cafes that aren't very known in town

He is very good with kids!

Hes very awkward at first but then if the kid says, "You have very pretty hair, It's like a princesses hair!" He smiles and let's them play with his hair

One time you walked into him and his nieces doing his makeup

*Finn has bright red lipstick on and blue eyeshadow on with one girl doing his hair and the other doing his makeup*

"Oh hi love!"

The girl doing his makeup: "Quit moving and look at me uncle Finn!"

"Oh I'm sorry!

Ig that's one way to end it-

USER 0lliel0vesfr0gs YOU HAVE THE SAME NAME/NICKNAME AS MY LISTENER FOR FINN I SHIT YOU NOT /pos

ALSO THANK YOU FOR THESE😭🤲🤲 THEYRE ALL SO <333

(usually for hc posts i try to have art i’ve made to go along with it BUT I DONT DRAW FINN ENOUGH <//33 well, i do, but it the scribbles don’t look too well (to me at least) so i do not post them <//3 /lh /nm but until i have finn art i’m proud of:

in return, here are some of my finn hcs!!

on the topic of what type of phone games/games in general he would play: he’s a king at sudoku.

crosswords too!!

he’s so smart, i love him dearly <33

maybe he tried a dating sim once but it did not go well for him

other than that, he definitely would play RPGs (and before ANYONE SAYS IT, based on my personal experience, i’d say finn’s more of an animal crossing fan compared to stardew.) and is the type of guy to overthink the choices he’s given in game. he doesn’t look the answer up, but oh boy is it tempting,, “if i go with this option, it will ruin my relationship with this character :(“ babes they’re not real🫶/lhj

storyteller finn however, would love stardew valley. the mystical aspects would be his favorite.

deadass would forget you can date someone bc of the lore.

anywho, back to garden variety💪🫶‼️

BUFF FINN IS SO TRUE ACTUALLY

i would like to believe he has thick thighs

but may i raise you: muscle chub finn.

somehow is seymour AND audrey as far as personality. idk how he does it but oh sweet heart <//33

also imagine him saying the most cryptic stuff when he’s sleeping. like bro are you just saying words or are you plagued with the murder of someone,, /lhj

i’m also a finn hot freaks fan truther🫶🫶 /pos

maybe he can also play piano

“fuck you joint pain!! i do what i want!!” (his ass did NOT take his pain meds and regrets his decision)

in reference to bunny finn, garden variety finn would have a pretty big family. he’s second oldest

the type of fellow to to squint his eyes, move his glasses down slightly, and bend back a little bit to see something someone’s showing him on their phone

also the type of fellow to never wear shorts unless they’re cargo shorts.

also gives him chronic pain bc i have chronic pain😼

decked out his mobility aide with various stickers gifted to him by his little nieces and nephews

in public he uses a cane and a wheeled walker.

doesn’t use one at work (like a silly goose) and regrets it

definitely forgets his braces as well

has especially terrible wrist, knee, and hip pain

ALSO WHAT IF HE CROCHETED LITTLE SWEATERS AND SCARVES FOR HIS LITTLE NEICES AND NEPHEWS TOO

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t spoil them

also goes to all of their recitals, ball games, award ceremonies, plays, literally any and every after school event. he loves those little goobers and wants to support them!!

also embarrasses the shit out of them as well!!

“hey remember when-” “UNCLE FINN, PLEASE NOT NOW OH GOD IT’S MY GRADUATION”

people who crochet are so cool and epic like actually‼️‼️/g /srs

methinks this is canon but he probably doesn’t have a lot of friends; at max he has 2-3.

jack ofc being his bestie

they have sleepovers you can’t change my mind /lhj /nm

who says i can’t make every character autistic?? i’m the nd doing the coding here!! /pos /lhj

could just be me but he definitely has a male/masc preference

GUYUH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LOVE TALKING ABT HIM TOO ILL DEFINITELY DRAW HIM MORE🫶🫶

okay that’s it, goodbye and stay safe🫡‼️‼️

[kozubaby]

First Date -> Kenma x Reader

You have your first date with Kenma after ages of perfect friendship. Rated: G  Kenma x Reader in a Skirt

Also posted on AO3: Here

You fiddled with the hem of your skirt in the passenger seat of the car and you watched the streetlights go by outside. You were unbelievably nervous, and Kuroo’s propensity for breaking speed limit laws was not helping.

“Kuroo please slow down.” You ground out and gripped the door handle. He chuckled amusedly and sped up.

“Don’t wanna be late for your daaaate.” He teased and laughed again. Your following silence made him pout, and he slowed down just a tad. “What’s got you so stressed, cuz? It’s not like you don’t know him. You’re best friends.”

“Yeah and that’s the problem. This could ruin everything, and I’d rather have him as my friend than not at all.” Wasn’t that obvious? 

“Okay and he feels the same way. You remember that he’s my best friend too right? I’m just not so blinded by love that I can’t see how you two feel about each other. Just relax. It’s gonna go great.” 

You huffed and sat back in your seat. Maybe Kuroo had a point. Or maybe he was driving you to your doom. Your mind wandered to worrying about superficial things. Did you dress up too much? Put on too much makeup? Spent too much time on things he would never care about?

Before you knew it, Kuroo was pulling up in front of a really fancy restaurant, one you’d never visit on your own and could never dream of affording.

“So this is why you kept telling me to dress up more…” You breathed out as your palms started to sweat.

“Yeah, he really wanted to go big.” Kuroo chuckled, shaking his head and pulling up to the valet. “Hey, make sure to compliment his outfit, cuz I helped him out with his, too.” 

Your car door was opened by a tall, suited gentleman who then reached in and offered a hand to help you out. 

“Have fun cuzzo! Give him a couple of big smooches while you’re at it!” 

Kuroo waited until you were inside the restaurant before driving off, so you were able to spare one last glance back and see his reassuring smile. If anything, he would hold the three of you together, and that was a comforting thought. 

Once inside, you were ushered off to a table on the second floor in a room much quieter and more private than the downstairs dining room. You could see your date sitting in a very cozy looking booth, silky two-toned strands held half-up in a bun, hands clasped in his lap as he stared out the window at the glittering lights of the city. Your steps faltered a few feet away from the table as your nerves got the best of you, but he noticed your reflection in the glass and turned to greet you, stumbling to climb out of the booth quickly.

It was then that you realized he was just as nervous as you. You watched him wipe his sweaty palms on the impeccably tailored, soft grey suit he was wearing before looking back up at you with those pretty amber eyes. His cheeks flushed when he noticed your soft smile.

“U-uh, hey. You look...wow, you look beautiful.” The way his voice quivered set off butterflies in your tummy as you thanked him and he ushered for you to see down.

“You look great too, Kenma. I haven’t seen you dressed up like this in years.” You mused.

“There’s never been an occasion more special and important.” 

You looked away as the weight of his words settled heavy on your heart, threatening to steal your breath and fall head first into this. Luckily, a waiter came by to take your orders.

Dinner went so well. The food was delicious, and you and Kenma were able to settle into old habits and routines like the best friends that you were. You thought that if dating him would be like this, you’d happily take the plunge. You were enamoured by him. The way he spoke and interacted with the staff - the owner even came by to personally greet him as if they were old pals and Kenma acted so smooth and confidently - the way his eyes seemed to sparkle whenever you spoke, how he would reach up to tuck a long piece of hair behind his ear, or how enticing his lips looked as he brought a glass of whine up to his mouth to sip at. You couldn’t deny that you were attracted to him in every way.

When dinner was over, Kenma offered to take you home as he would after any night hanging out unless you’d already KO’d at his place, which had happened a million times. The drive was very quiet and the air started to turn quiet in a way that even Kenma had a hard time dealing with.

“Hey...are you okay?” There was always a chance that this wouldn’t work out, but the night had gone so well. At least he thought so.

“Hm? Oh yeah I’m…” You frowned as it became harder to find words to explain what was going on in your head. You even flinched when Kenma reached over to place a reassuring hand on your knee. He pulled away quickly and made a split decision, cutting into the parking lot of a park just a few blocks from your apartment. You frowned and looked over to your date, questioning why you were there.

“Come on. Let’s go for a walk.” He turned the car off, climbed out, and walked over to your side before you could even get your thoughts together. He helped you out and bent his arm, offering it to you for the walk. The air outside was comfortably cool, but that did nothing to calm your rapidly beating heart.

For a while, the two of you just walked, looking out onto the water as the sounds of the night filled the silence better than inside the car. Eventually, Kenma spoke up.

“What’s going on in your head, sweets?” He’d called you that for years, but it landed so differently tonight. “I’ve never seen you this quiet. Is this...not something you want to pursue?”

“N-no, it’s not that!” You rushed to explain because the anxiety in his voice was something you never wanted to be the cause of. “I just...I…” You bit your lip and frowned deep. Your vocal paralysis really had a way of rearing its ugly head at the worst possible times.

“You’re afraid that dating me will ruin our friendship.”

You looked up at him with wide eyes of surprise because he hit the nail on the head.

“Y-yeah I just love you so much and I don’t want to lose you-”

“You love me?” He stopped walking and turned to you.

“What? Did I say that out loud?” You covered your mouth, feeling heat rush to your face of sheer horror and embarrassment. 

“Yeah…” Kenma breathed out and stepped impossibly closer to you, amber gold eyes staring deeply into yours. “Did you mean it?”

Could you lie to him even if you wanted to with the way he was looking at you? Not a chance.

“Yes…” It came out barely above a whisper, but you were able to watch Kenma’s eyes light up, lips curving up into a brighter smile than you think anyone else had ever seen. 

“Then you have no reason to be scared because I love you, too.” And he didn’t leave a single moment for you to doubt because right then, he swooped in to play the softest kiss on your lips and if that didn’t convey true love, you didn’t know what could.

When he pulled back, laughing breathlessly and taking your face in his hands, you also couldn’t help but smile as you were flooded with serotonin and a feeling of relief enough to be even more honest with him.

“Kozu...I’ve waited for you to do that for years now. All of this doesn’t even seem real.” But it was real. Kenma Kozume was standing in front of you, holding you, smiling at you, confessing his love for you...kissing you…

“I’ve waited too, sweets. Tell me I don’t have to wait anymore.”

And instead of answering him with words, you pulled him in for another kiss.

Best First Date Ever

[sunookkii]

hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3

a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]

Also i am well ty for asking >.<

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Enhypen forgetting your bday~

Genre : angsty ish

Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??

Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)

Heeseung :

Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday

But to your luck he forgot :(

So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard

And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt

Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember

So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry

Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear

A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.

He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.

He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself

He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”

He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~

^ so yeah 🤕

Jay :

I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧

You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course

You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.

You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(

You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt

So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)

He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD

Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.

Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker

He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT

After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.

But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this

You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face

“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”

All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good

Jake :

It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you

You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise

But today was sort of… different? :(

You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁

After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face

I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲

You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.

“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.

You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’

When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.

You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”

You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕

He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’

Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.

‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”

A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you

^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)

You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn

Sunghoon :

Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t

So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…

“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”

“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”

“What…”

You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it

But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭

Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes

genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it

And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~

Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.

Puts cake on your nose

Sunoo :

Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget

I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person

Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this

So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered

Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping

He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it

He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date

If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo

Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.

the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.

Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later

caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”

Jungwon :

he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated

Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,

you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most

But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day

“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile

“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face

Your happy smile soon became a little pout

“You really don’t know?”

“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”

oh my- he broke your heart right then and there

You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.

Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you

Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way

“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”

He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look

wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting

“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying

You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳

“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe

Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes

He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<

Cuddles you for the rest of the day

Niki :

He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”

“Well someone is happy today :)”

“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”

“Wednesday?”

😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”

“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game

you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((

he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.

‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’

You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.

“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki

and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on

He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’

But to his luck you were still mad at him

Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~

You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him

N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3

[pooklet]

Hey so, I’m terrible at taking compliments! Often times they end up languishing my inbox cuz I worry that any response I could give would sound insincere, especially if I end up repeating myself (which I do, a lot). But I don’t want anyone thinking I don’t appreciate their kindness! So I’m going to try to be better about replying when people send me nice asks, not just when they have questions or requests!

(Hopefully a batch response post is okay? I seem to be better about those than responding individually.)

1. Oh man my sim style has changed so dramatically, I really gotta update those! But the new ones are going to be extremely heavy on the alien genetics which is pretty niche as far as gameplay goes, so I’m glad I made a human set when I did and that people are still getting use out of it! Thank you, anon!

2. I’m glad I could help, lol! It sounds like our game genetics are in a similar chaotic state. I’m always breaking my poor human sims by purging old content, thinking I’m not using it anymore, and then I have the nerve to be all “by talos this can’t be happening” when townies roll up to my playable house in a default skin, with no eyes and maxis hair. If anything, learning how to fix genetics in SimPE has only served to turn me into more of a monster. There’s no consequences now, no one is safe.

3. Anon, you peach! That is so sweet of you to say. It means so, so much to us to hear that. It isn’t silly at all and honestly it’s an honor to know we’ve had any place in anyone feeling more comfortable with themselves. It really is lovely to hear. :’)

4. That’s so sweet of you, anon and also, like, blows my mind? Cuz I just remember being the most obnoxious 20something in my early days of the sims community so the idea I had any impact other than annoying everyone around me is genuinely so cool and makes me feel, idk, kind of better about the person that I used to be? If that makes sense? Anyway, yeah! Thank you. :D

5. So sporadically active, but hopefully enough to facilitate a spree! I think it’s been a while since you sent this, anon, but I hope you’re still having fun with TS2!

6, 7. Okay, you two are absolutely giving me too much credit, lol! But I am super glad that my actions have been useful to so many people, even if it was just to help them figure out what they liked better or inspired them to make their own actions! It really is neat and it does feel good, yeah. :) God powers would be absolutely kickin, but I think the closest to that I’m ever going to get is, like, the godly ability to hoard dolls. And yarn.

[niccerooniererer]

so some of yall may remember that I mentioned that I wrote a few fanfics and I was considering posting them (tho not all cuz I feel like not all of them are worthy enough) so I went fuck it, why not post it on tumblr then so here, I wanna show off this 2k word fanfic thingy I wrote about Chuck and Taylor, kind of angsty and about Taylor feeling like he’s not good enough for Chuck (in the best friend way, they aren’t together in this) because Chuck is popular and a lot of people are interested in him...... with a sort of sweet ending. Also excuse me if my way of speaking gets a little funky at times, can’t help it I’m bilingual

Another tune, another song to make you feel like it will be better. That it will be easier. That you will go through with everything even if clumsily. But It feels no use, the lies haven’t converted in your brain. That’s what Taylor was feeling as he buried himself in his bed under his pillows, as if he was trying to hide himself from the world. To disappear so he can stop worrying about messing up and just… He felt tears come to him as he listened to more songs. They just made his tears come out even more. Why… Oh why does it have to be one of those days? He had been trying to invite Chuck out somewhere but he kept just fumbling around and changing subjects, unable to. Wouldn’t that just make it obvious how down bad he is for Chuck? Wouldn’t that just make him a weak loser chasing a dream that won’t come true? Would he even… wanna be with him at all? Chuck could have anyone. He’s charismatic, handsome, sweet, well known too, more of a people person than Taylor will ever be… Why would he want to be with someone so different and… boring? He doesn’t know if to feel shame for how plain and boring he feels, or if to feel jealous because Chuck has so much more going on, more than he’ll ever have. These thoughts cut like swords, but these days they ring so true and they won’t stop ringing until Taylor goes insane because of them. Today was one of these breaking points. 

He was still sniffling away under his pillows, trying to calm down when the door to his room opened.

“Hey Tay- wait, where are you?” Chuck took a careful step in. His eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. He noticed the human shape under the pillows and the blankets. Blankets? It’s not everyday Taylor uses more than 1. Taylor said nothing back to him.

“Are… are you good, man?” Chuck asked as he sat down beside the shape. He only heard a slight sniffle. He’s usually louder than that when he’s sleeping, so he was definitely awake.

“I hope you’re feeling okay… I don’t think I can help right now cuz I’ll have to go for a photoshoot but… yeah” Chuck awkwardly finished and left the room, closing the door behind himself. Taylor could hear Chuck leave through the door, leaving the apartment and his thoughts all to himself. He slowly sat up and just… sat there.

“I didn’t even say a thing to him” Taylor thought out loud to himself, lowering his head in his hands, as if he was trying to keep in the last of his happy thoughts he thought he might still have. But god, it really felt like there was no more.

He got up to clean his face. The cold water felt nice, something refreshing to sooth his soul a little. As he was walking back to his room, he felt dull, yearning pain in his stomach. He… didn’t eat today yet. He sighed, giving in to his needs. He dragged himself to the fridge, from where he took out a frozen pizza. He slammed a few things on it before he put it in the oven.. These things never really have a lot of things on them… The dumb thought that he doesn’t even deserve pizza with real flavour crossed his mind which he quickly tried to shake out of his mind. It’s absurd and laughable, yet it makes him feel miserable. Why is his psyche so gullible into negative thoughts? 

The pizza tasted nice enough, a bittersweet contrast to his mood. At least he felt a little less empty now. He didn’t like to be mean but… right now,  Chuck’s absence was nice for him too. It was letting him feel less connected to him, as if he’s just some average sad guy, living alone. In all that silence, it felt like home to him right now. He opened one of the windows and just… looked out. It was growing into night, the Sun was already below the horizon. Time sure passes fast when you’re buried under so much sadness you can’t fight… At least the breeze he felt coming in was making him feel better… Though not too much. His thoughts drift back to him… He gripped the windowsill, trying to release his demons that pick at him and try to pick him apart. Pick him apart until all he is is a mess that’s broken and awkward and all on show for him to see just how pathetic his roommate is. So then he could see how beyond Taylor he truly is. Ugh damn it….. He breathed in slow and out, trying to keep himself in a functional human shape. As functional as he can be… He closed the window, that’s when the door to the halls opened, revealing Chuck. The 2 stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Hey.” Taylor said flatly, he couldn’t hide his feelings this fast “I’m going to my room… if you need me or something”

As if he’d be needed.

“Hey- actually uhm…” Chuck hesitated before extending his hand towards Taylor, he had a plastic bag “I… bought you something small… it’s not much but I just wanted to… uh, yeah,,”

Taylor carefully took it, noticeably avoiding touching Chuck’s hand.

“Thanks… I guess” Taylor then went straight to his room, without another word to Chuck. Why… Why was he this cold to him? What did he do? He’s never had Taylor be this cold to him ever… He felt like they were close and… even getting closer but… Guess not. Guess it’s not how it’s supposed to be. He just doesn’t know what he did and that’s gonna bother him to hell, with an unknown force taking his best friend away from him… He even had a long day… He wished he could actually spend the night hanging closer to Taylor but…What should he do? He thought and decided to ask friends for advice.

“Oh he’s just a gloomy guy, let him be”

“Why are you wasting your time on him so much? it must be so exhausting, you could always hang out with me”

“He causes you so much sadness, you should focus on other people for a while”

And even more answers Chuck just wasn’t happy with the least. He wants to help Taylor and no one is trying to help him find out how to. He threw his phone on his bed in frustration and went to Taylor, he’s just… gonna try his best.

He opened the door to Taylor’s room to find him sipping on the sundae he bought him, huddled up on his bed with his earphones in. It took a few seconds for him to notice Chuck.

“What?” Taylor asked, the coldness from his words crystallized the feelings of Chuck feeling his soul stabbed by them like ice rods.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”

Chuck came further into the room.

“You’re… not usually like this…you’re usually more-”

“Well, that would be really fucking hard to always stay happy, did you know??” Taylor’s voice cracked, the tears once again trying to show up for another showing. 

“I’m… I’m here if you need to talk about it… I’m here for you whenever I can be…”

“Isn’t that exhausting?”

“What?”

“Isn’t it exhausting to coddle me up from feeling like shit?”

“I… I don’t mind it uh…”

“Sure”

Chuck was trying to find his words but Taylor’s answer froze him. His lips slightly switched as he then felt these words coming to him, tired of dancing around words just to then not say what he would truly want to say.

“Of course I don’t mind, I love spending time with you, there’s seriously nothing better than that. I love nothing more than spending the chillest nights with you, nothing can compare I swear to god” Chuck teared up by the end.

Taylor was looking at him shocked. He at first tried to ignore these words but Chuck… The way he looked back at him, so sincere and frustrated. It felt like daggers to his chest… He felt so selfish, feeling tears coming out, his sundae shaking in his hand.

“Why do you think that? What do I have that others don’t? I’m not even anything interesting, so many more interesting people are interested in you and you’re wasting energy on me?”

“Stop talking like that, god damn it” Chuck cried out as he stepped in even closer, close enough to grab Taylor by his collar which he did “I don’t need any of those guys, I need YOU”

The 2 shared a long stare into each other’s eyes, at least it felt very long. With both seeing the amount of pain in the other’s eyes and expression, both worn out from stress and doubts and fears.

“I hate it so bad when you think like that, Tay’, literally no one could ever replace you or be better than you for me”

“It’s just so hard y'know… I feel so… inferior to you…. Do you even know how many people tried to befriend me just to try and get closer to you? Too many, way too many, and it made me feel like I’m just another useless guy to you”

“Dude I… I cannot put into words how much you are not that, you are funny, you are fun to be around, you are the kinda chill I need with my busy life, you are like… a home to come to and heal like nobody else… Why would you never mention this to me? That you feel that way”

“It’s selfish… “

“It’s not”

“But it is because I…” Taylor lowered himself, pulling his head to his lap to hide himself away, as if his face not showing would end the conversation.

“No matter what it is, it’s not. I want you to know that you can share your feelings with me, all of them, I wanna be there for you. What kinda best friend would I be if I wasn’t?”

Taylor could barely help it as he slammed down his sundae on his nightstand, and he sprung up and pulled Chuck into a hug, crying into his shirt (and tiddies). Chuck hugged Taylor back tightly, slowly kneeling down to his level to get a bit more comfortable. Though as they pulled away from each other, them being this close to each other did hit different for a whole second. Both of them looked upset and blushing from all the tears and frustration. They spent a bit of time like that, before Chuck awkwardly spoke up.

“Can I… stay here tonight?”

“For what?” the question came out a bit distant and cold which flustered Taylor “I mean uh… We’ve… never been like that before so it’s…”

“I just want a little comfort”

Taylor sighed, trying to shake off the embarrassment and the gay little happiness the idea gave him.

“Sure, come here”

Taylor pulled the covers away and scooted a bit back. Chuck got on, real close to Taylor. This felt a little too… thought inducing… On both of them.

“Oh by the way umm” Chuck started, clearly very embarrassed about what he’s gonna say “I think I mentioned it only once but I kind of prefer to be a little spoon if that’s cool with you”

“Oh yeah, I remember that” Taylor only realized after a few seconds had passed that what he said sounded quite fruity. “And um yeah, I can deal with that.”

“Thanks,, means a lot that you let me do this”

“I mean… I need it a little too so… guess it’s mutual like that”

They settled down, with Chuck facing away from Taylor, facing to his door instead, with Taylor having his arms around Chuck, keeping him in a secure hold, which felt very nice to Chuck and he wished they could do this regularly. And because it was so nice, it helped soothe, the tiredness from the emotions drifted both of them into some great and well deserved sleep. Finally something nice that happened today.

[n00dl3gal]

Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click. 

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.” 

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.” 

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian. 

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t- 

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English. 

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.” 

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa. 

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.” 

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off. 

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.” 

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-” 

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.” 

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.” 

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.” 

“Yeah, probably not…” 

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians. 

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually. 

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.” 

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.” 

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them. 

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed- 

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time. 

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him. 

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.” 

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered. 

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said. 

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-” 

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right. 

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!” 

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.” 

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?” 

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased. 

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained. 

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.” 

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly. 

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered. 

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies. 

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room. 

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all. 

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life. 

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket. 

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over. 

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant. 

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest. 

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!” 

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.” 

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy. 

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.” 

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said. 

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.” 

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.” 

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.” 

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren. 

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor. 

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering. 

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?” 

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key. 

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother. 

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.” 

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.” 

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.” 

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?” 

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony. 

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though. 

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly. 

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming. 

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close. 

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time. 

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas? 

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. ��Oh, Jeremy…” 

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.” 

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.” 

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!” 

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time. 

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.” 

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel. 

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested. 

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.” 

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.” 

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.” 

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.” 

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!” 

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?” 

[cooloddball]

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

@void-detective OKIE DOKIE ILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION HERE (hey hi hello it’s lil ol me @wisecrackingeric-2 ) CUZ THATS WHAT THIS BLOGS FOR AGABGSWBDHJSX I HOPE YOU DONT MIND!!!!!

Okay so the thing is. Compared to Leon or even compared to his time spent with Los Illuminados we don’t,,,, k n o w a whole lot about that portion of Luis’ life

Like OK if you’re speaking in logistics/canon compliancy then no alas it wouldn’t work at all JANSHSNDJXNX Laboratory Six (the Lab Luis worked in that made Nemesis) was set in Paris, France, and by the time the Raccoon City Outbreak had started, Luis had already fled Umbrella and presumably ended up in Valdelobos (sure there’s a CHANCE he might’ve floated around Europe for a while but?? He describes his time spent working on the Plagas as having been ‘years’ so I’m assuming he went straight to Valdelobos)

The timeline gets kinda wonky with Luis- he would’ve roughly been 22 when he fled umbrella, and it would’ve been anywhere between a couple months to a year before the RC Outbreak, and which meant he spent five or six years trapped by Los Illuminados give or take???? Which makes how he got a degree, went to college, got a job at Umbrella and spent enough time there to become one of their head scientists really funny to imagine when you remember he was only 21/22 when he fled HDBSHDNSJS like damn that man is a CHILD PRODIGY!!!! ((It also makes it DEVASTATING to imagine how he found out about Raccoon City one way or another but HEY I SAID NOTHING))

But if you’re talking in an AU or personality wise???? That’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY IM CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR

Honestly I don’t think it’d be TOOOO different to their actual dynamic, just that they were both a lot younger and had a lot more maturing to do!!!! Again we don’t really know what kind of a person Luis was when he was younger other than that he was SUPER ambitious (which makes sense), probably a little more floaty/cocky (I don’t think he was lying about being a ladies man HXNSSJHD) overly curious and just generally really well-liked by his peers!! Like he considered them his family so I imagine he was probably just a more roughhouse version of the Luis we know him as now. We also don’t know how much of the Nemesis project Luis was aware of- given his upbringing I HIGHLY doubt Luis would go into umbrella knowing full well the scope of what they’re doing but I think it’s unrealistic to say he had malicious intent the entire time!!!

But adding onto that I think his guilt would be a LOT more apparent and repressed at the same time. Like when we see him in RE4R he’s already at a point where he’ll throw himself into the fire to fix his mistakes so can you IMAGINE what it must’ve been like when he was FRESH out of said mistakes????? Would he have tried to pretend they never happened??? Would it manifest as being destructive??? Who knows!!!!!! But I know for a fact Leon’s presence would DEFINITELY throw him for a loop HDBEHENDJD

Leon in RE2 is just PAINFULLY good at heart. Like we all know this you don’t need me to repeat it HXBSHSNS all he wants from the very start is to help anyone and everyone he can, and I think that would extend to Luis too. He’s obviously a lot more trusting too (like blah bla everyone get your jokes abt him believing that Ada was an FBI agent out of the way) so I don’t think he’d have AS strong of a grudge against Luis as he does in the remake. Sure I think he’d be WARY of him but if Luis was as honest and open as he is in re4r (even with a little prodding) which I think he definitely would be, ESPECIALLY cuz of, Y’know, waves hands, the debilitating guilt BXNSHNSJS Leon wouldn’t have a hard time trusting him in the end

What ID be SUPER INTERESTED IN is what would happen AFTER RC!!!! Would Leon try to protect Luis from the law???? Would Luis follow in Leon’s footsteps and be a government agent???? Would they both run away to Valdelobos and BOTH get stuck?????????

TLDR FOR THIS ACCIDENTALLY REALLY LONG POST AHWNWHWNDUDJSK I don’t think it’d be much different!!!!!!! They’d just have more maturing to do, which I think is weirdly beautiful!!!!!! Leon is still rather naive and optimistic and overly trusting and Luis is still wild and ambitious and overly curious about the world around him!!!!!! They’re good people at heart and I think their lives would’ve been a whole lot different if they’d just met at a different time and a different place

[uswntxfootball]

golden (ona batlle x nedwnt!reader)

your crush on the spanish defender was blatantly obvious, so what happens when jackie introduces you to her?

word count: 1934 ish

rated: S for soft bros, I for idiocy, and C for chaotic.

——

you don’t know when your crush on her started.

probably from one of jackie’s story posts.

you’re not entirely sure.

but here you are, double tapping a like on the spanish defender’s new post.

“i’ve never seen someone like something so fast.”

you whip around to see jackie with a teasing smile.

“shut up,” you blush.

“you should let me introduce you to her i-“

“no i’m okay thanks.”

jackie quirks an eyebrow before huffing:

“i don’t understand why you don’t let me introduce you to her. for all you know you could’ve had a girlfriend by now.”

you let out a snort at that.

“yeah right.”

“alright whatever put down your phone and stop staring at her post we’ve got to get to training anyways.”

you shoot a glare at the midfielder, who rolls her eyes upon seeing your response.

and with that, jackie starts walking out of the room.

she makes it halfway down the hall before turning again, only to see you still in the room, staring down at your phone.

“y/n!”

“all right all right i’m coming!”

~~

“y/n.”

you stiffen on the ground.

the room remains silent.

“you know i can see you right?”

you still don’t speak, opting to shuffle slowly and quietly out of the room instead.

you see jackie mute herself and turn in your general direction.

“come say hi or something instead of sitting there in the dark like a weirdo.”

jackie lets out a sigh in defeat and turns back to her computer at your silence.

“guess i’ll talk to her on my own then.”

the midfielder was on a manchester united zoom call, and you, you totally weren’t sneaking in to catch a glimpse of ona… no definitely not.

you continued backing out slowly, but suddenly you hear a heavy spanish accent and your head snaps up…

promptly hitting the table above you.

“fuck!”

you slap your hand over your mouth half a second after your outburst.

jackie turns to you and has to stifle her laughter upon seeing you.

“you’re hopeless, you know that right?”

you let out a pained grunt from under the table, and jackie just shakes her head and laughs at you.

you hear jackie tell her call she’ll be right back and the chair is pulled out from in front of you.

when she ducks down to look at you, you’re rubbing your head and pouting, something that the midfielder finds very amusing.

“come say hi. i’ll introduce you.”

you shake your head vehemently, determined to not do what jackie suggested.

“y/n.”

“yeah?”

“you’re the most stubborn person i’ve ever met.”

“is that a compliment?”

“not really no.”

“well i’m pretending it is one.”

“well it’s really not.”

“shh go back to your meeting and let me pretend in peace.”

~~

“JACKIE!”

jackie jumps and almost drops her toothbrush in fear.

the panicked look on your face disappears temporarily as you laugh at her response, your action causing her to glare at you through the mirror.

“what do you want?”

the panicked look quickly returns.

“why didn’t you tell me about our next game?”

jackie furrows her eyebrows:

“what do you mean? why would i tell you? its not like you’re not at all our team meetings.”

“you know i don’t pay attention to what sarina’s saying ninety percent of the time!”

jackie shuts off the sink and spins around, flinging water in your face before saying:

“and how is that my problem?”

you grab her arm and jackie almost laughs at the expression on your face.

she finally asks:

“what’s wrong with this upcoming game?”

you groan and say:

“it’s against spain that’s what!”

jackie now does laugh, finding your panic funny and reveling in your frankly very sad pining.

“well now you’ll be able to see her in person rather than through a screen for once.”

“THAT”S THE PROBLEM.”

you groan again, and jackie only laughs, pulling you into a hug before saying:

“now can i introduce you to her?”

you pout.

“no”

“you’re so annoying. why won’t you just let me introduce you to her?”

what you say next just makes jackie laugh out loud.

“cuz i’ll be a gay mess.”

she snorts.

“are you always this pathetic?”

you roll your eyes and shoot a glare at her.

“are you always this annoying?”

jackie scowls.

“watch your mouth. or i’ll talk to ona next game.”

well that sure shut you up.

~~

your heart was beating frantically, to the point where you were surprised your teammates couldn’t hear it.

you were on the bus, on the way to your international friendly between the netherlands and spain.

and you.

you were losing your mind.

“y/n!”

you look up when jill calls your name.

“you okay buddy? you look a little sick.”

jill’s concerned tone earned a snicker from jackie beside you, who you promptly kicked in the shin before turning back and smiling at jill, saying:

“yeah just nerves i guess.”

jill’s brows furrowed a little.

“it’s just a friendly dude, you’ll be fine. you’ll nail it.”

jackie adds quietly so only you can hear:

“that’s not the only thing she’ll be nail-ow!”

you elbow her in the ribs before giving jill an apologetic smile, your face sporting a bright red blush.

“thanks jill, appreciate it.”

jill nods slowly and apprehensively before turning back towards viv, the two forwards engaged in conversation once again.

you turn to jackie, who’s doubled over, pouting at you.

you roll your eyes.

“oh stop it you big baby.”

jackie scowls, then grins mischievously.

“i guess i’ll just talk to ona after the match today then…”

your eyes widened in panic.

“no no no i take it back i take it ba-“

“nope i’ve made up my mind.”

“please jackie let me- no- don’t i-“

jackie just sticks her tongue out at you and turns towards the window.

~~

you tried so hard.

so so so hard not to make a fool of yourself on the pitch.

you ended up resorting to not even glancing in the full back’s direction in hopes that that would help.

it didn’t really.

it also didn’t help that the pitch was muddy and therefore slippery.

one can put two and two together.

there was one super embarrassing moment in the first half in which you had the ball and began making your way through the spanish midfield when you saw the number 2 making her way towards you.

you were so nervous in being close to her that she barely touched you and somehow you ended up on the ground.

the ball was put out of play a few seconds after, and the spanish defender stuck her hand out at you to help you up, whispering an “i’m sorry i didn’t mean to push you” which left a bright blush on your cheeks as you managed to get out:

“don’t worry i just slipped.”

but by the end of the game you were getting into your groove, and finally managed to function like a normal and coordinate person around her.

the game ended with a 3-1 win for the netherlands, 2 goals courtesy of viv and 1 from daan.

but all in all, you weren’t all too focused on the game.

you ran to jackie when the whistle blew.

the two of you talked a little bit about the game and slowly the people on the field fell into groups, club teammates saying hi to each other, and old friends finding a topic to talk about again.

you were walking backwards, as you were talking with jackie about the game, something that you did after every game.

you always trusted jackie to tell you if you were going to run into someone.

you should have remembered about that bus conversation.

you saw jackie look past you for a second and before you could turn to see what was ahead you body collided into someone else’s.

one look at jackie’s face and you knew who it was.

luckily for you, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, ona’s reactions were quick and promptly held onto your waist to stabilize you before you fell to the ground.

you face was flushed scarlet at the feeling.

jackie approached the two of you.

“ah perfect, y/n, ona, ona, y/n, the two of you talk, i’ve gotta go do something, bye!”

one of these days you were going to kill jackie.

the heavy spanish accent broke you out of your thoughts.

“hey i’m ona.”

you blushed at the proximity.

if you had thought that the spanish defender was pretty in photos, well jeez.

here up close you could see every freckle on her face, her eyelashes, and in all honesty it was too much for you.

you felt like you were going to pass out.

she still hadn’t let go of your waist and the two of you were inches apart from each other.

she seemed to realize this too and quickly let go.

“um i’m y/n..” you mumble, cursing yourself for your ineptitude to talk to people.

well maybe just really really really fucking pretty people.

one of ona’s brows quirked up as if she was thinking about something, and then she said:

“your voice sounds familiar.. you sound like- are you the one who cursed on that one united call?”

you looked down at the grass and blushed harder.

“yeah that would be me.”

ona let out a laugh that made your heart stop in your chest.

“well since jackie’s so keen for us to talk, why don’t we get a coffee sometime and do just that?”

your heart felt like it had disappeared at this point.

“you want to get coffee with me?!”

you cringed internally at how loud and enthusiastic your reply was.

the corners of ona’s mouth tugged up a little and she said:

“well of course, i don’t waste my time when i see something beautiful.”

so your heart was gone. long long long gone.

“y-i-um” you stuttered all over the place, unable to form a coherent sentence.

ona broke out into a full grin (which of course, just made you even weaker at the knees), and said:

“jackie was right, you are cute.”

you really were going to kill jackie one day.

you didn’t realize how quiet you had been until ona speaks up again.

“so about getting coffee…”

she looks up at you expectantly, and you open your mouth before closing it quickly, instead nodding ferociously, something that made ona laugh.

the two of you turn when ona’s name is called from across the field, to see mapi standing with an amused smirk on her face, yelling something in spanish you didn’t understand.

ona turns to you again.

“well i’ve got to go. i’ll text you about coffee?”

you nod and give her a timid wave.

“and it’s a date!”

you blush a little and nod again, not trusting your mouth to speak normally.

she’s halfway across the field when you shout after her:

“wait you don’t have my number!”

ona turns and gives you a one word response:

“jackie!”

you roll your eyes and give her another wave before you turn towards your locker room, where you see jackie standing and watching you.

she mouths an “you’re welcome” in your direction.

you just shake your head.