#espwnt imagine

[tikitakatia]

Escape — A. Putellas x Reader

"If You Like Making Love at Midnight"

WC: 5.7k

Summary: Smut. It’s been months since you finally reconciled but every time you try to get close, Alexia pulls back, so you plan a quiet weekend away and hope it’s enough to help her let go.

Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3 , Pt.4 , Pt. 5 , Pt. 6

It had been months. 

Not that either of you were counting anymore, time had stopped feeling like something to measure after that night on the kitchen floor. After the couch, then the bed. After the promise. 

After the kiss.

These days, life had rhythm again. Not the same one it used to have, but a gentler, slower version that felt like it belonged to you both. A rhythm you built together.

Mornings meant Tofu climbing between your bodies at dawn, wedging his tiny goblin self into the warmest part of the mattress like he paid rent. One of you would groan. The other would giggle. Sometimes Alexia would mutter, “You’re lucky I love you,” while scratching behind his ears. He never said thank you. Just flopped over like jello and demanded belly rubs.

You made breakfast side by side now, hips bumping, hands overlapping. Sometimes you fed each other bites over the sink like teenagers. Sometimes she makes a face at your coffee and says, “You still drink it like an old man,” before taking a sip anyway. You bought her favorite yogurt again. She started keeping the cinnamon out on the counter.

Weekends meant long walks, Tofu darting between your legs as if he’d never barked at a bike rack in rage. Evenings were curled-up movies, your legs braided together under the blanket, your fingers tangled in hers. You’d stopped counting how many times she kissed the back of your hand without realizing she was doing it.

And at night?

At night, it was soft.

You held each other in bed like the world would disappear if you didn’t. You kissed slowly. You let your hands roam. You touched each other like worship, like every inch of skin was a secret you were still learning how to re-earn.

But.

Every time it went deeper, every time your kiss lingered too long, every time your palm slipped under her shirt or your mouth found her neck, Alexia pulled away.

Not violently.

Just… froze.

Her body would go still. Her breath would hitch. Then she’d shift back, whisper, “I’m sorry,” or murmur something like, “Not yet,” and disappear into the bathroom.

Sometimes she’d stay in there for ten minutes. Sometimes twenty. When she came back, her eyes were red but dry, and she’d climb back into bed like nothing had happened. Curl into you like the ache in her chest hadn’t just swallowed her whole.

You never pushed. Never pressed.

Because you could feel it. The guilt. The fear. The part of her that still didn’t believe she was allowed to be wanted like that again.

And God, you wanted her. Not just in the way that made you ache at night, but in the way that wanted to give her everything slowly, carefully, with your whole chest. You wanted to make her feel safe inside her own skin again. To remind her that you didn’t love her despite the past, you loved her through it.

But she hadn’t reached for that part of you since she came home.

And you were starting to wonder if she ever would.

Even Tofu seemed to notice the tension, his dramatic huffs every time she left the bed, his glare when she curled into you with her back instead of her face. He’d started sleeping at your knees again, always pointed toward the door like he was keeping watch. Like he was waiting for something to shift.

You were too.

Not for a fix. Not for a grand gesture.

Just… for her to believe that she could take all of you again. Not just the safe parts. And maybe, it was time to help her feel like she didn’t have to be the one to make the next move.

You decided to wait it out a little longer.

You let the quiet unfold, let the moments stay tender and small. You held her when she needed holding. Let her mouth trace the edge of your jaw without asking for anything more. But eventually, when the hesitations stopped being momentary and started becoming routine, something in you whispered: maybe she won’t let herself try until I do something different.

So you planned a trip.

You didn’t tell her at first. Just cleared your calendar. Researched for days. Something private. Secluded. Warm, but not stifling. Somewhere with a soft bed and a big porch. Somewhere with a coastline that glittered like it was trying to apologize for the rest of the world.

You told her two nights before.

“We’re going away for the weekend,” you said, sliding a hand over hers at the breakfast table.

She looked up, blinking through a sleepy daze. “What kind of away?”

“The kind with hammocks and lemon trees. No schedule. Just us.”

Alexia’s face softened in that quiet way it always did when she didn’t have the words yet. She squeezed your hand once and whispered,

“Okay.”

The drive was long enough for music and silence and a few soft jokes about Tofu’s car seat. He’d been dropped off at your friend’s place with his usual dramatic flair, sniffing the couch twice, peeing on the welcome mat, giving you both the stink eye like you’d betrayed him personally.

But by the time you got to the house, tucked behind a long row of cypress trees, just steps from the sea, Alexia’s eyes had gone wide with wonder.

“You did all this?”

You smiled. “We did. I just hit book.”

She kissed you for it. Not hungrily. Just grateful. Her lips were warm against yours, hands steady.

The days blurred in the best way.

You cooked together with the windows open, both of you barefoot, music playing low. She danced with you once, swaying slowly in the kitchen, a wooden spoon still in her hand, her nose tucked behind your ear. You sat on the deck in the afternoons, legs tangled, reading half a paragraph every ten minutes because you couldn’t stop looking at each other.

You lay in the sun and traced patterns into her stomach. She braided your hair sloppily, laughing when it fell apart. You passed a bottle of wine back and forth and talked about everything except the part you hadn’t figured out yet.

On the second morning, you kissed her with purpose.

Not rushed. Not pushing, but with your hands low on her waist, your body curved into hers like you meant it, and God, you did. You kissed her long enough that she moaned into your mouth, hands tightening in your shirt. But then, just as your fingers slipped under the band of her shorts, her body went still.

You felt it.

Like a shutter closed behind her ribs.

She pulled away gently. Her voice shaky.

“I’m sorry. I want to. I just...”

You nodded. Brushed her hair behind her ear. “I know.”

You kissed her forehead and stood. Gave her space. Took your book outside and let her breathe.

She came to sit beside you an hour later, her hand sliding into yours like an apology. You didn’t ask for the words. You just laced your fingers through hers and squeezed.

Later that afternoon, you rented a kayak.

Just one.

Alexia eyed it, then looked at you with an amused smirk as she held up the life vest.

“It’s been a while.”

You raised a brow. “Thought you could pull your own weight this time.”

She laughed: loud, warm, completely unbothered.

“Please. You loved doing all the work.”

You snorted. “I loved watching you lounge in the back like royalty while I steered us into a bunch of rocks.”

“And you still kissed me after,” she said, slipping the vest on and tugging the straps snug.

“Unfortunately.”

Her eyes sparkled as she climbed in behind you, legs pressing against yours, breath already warm at your neck. 

“You were obsessed with me.”

Still am, you didn’t say.

The water was calm, the sky wide and golden. Alexia for once, decided to pull her weight and paddled with an easy rhythm, one hand trailing lazily in the sea when she didn’t need it. Every now and then she leaned forward to point something out. A jellyfish, a cluster of rocks, the ridiculous flop of your sunhat, and every time she did, her chin brushed your shoulder like it belonged there.

“Do you think Tofu would hate this or love it?” she asked, dipping her fingers into the sea.

“Both,” you said.

“He’d bark at the water, fall in, pretend it was your fault, then demand a towel and a treat.”

Alexia laughed, bright and full. You let your head rest against her knee for a moment. Her hand drifted into your hair and stayed. The boat floated in silence for a while, just waves and warmth and the gentle sound of her breath above you.

You were careful not to kiss her here. Not yet.

When you came back to shore, sandy and sun-drunk, she looked like something had let go in her. Her smile came easier. Her limbs moved more freely. You handed her a towel and followed her back to the porch, both of you barefoot and salt crusting your skin.

Later, when the sun dipped just a bit lower, she stretched out across the lounge chair while you sat beside her with sunscreen in your hands.

“I got your back,” you said.

She hummed. “That’s a line.”

“Maybe. But it’s true.”

She didn’t argue. Just shifted so you could straddle the chair behind her, your knees on either side of her hips, the bottle cool in your palm.

You started slow.

Gentle strokes. Careful pressure.

Your hands slid across her shoulders, her spine, the small of her back. Her breath hitched once, then settled. You leaned forward and kissed the back of her neck, just barely.

And then, you felt it.

A soft, involuntary groan.

Low. Unfiltered. Pulled straight from the part of her she hadn’t let you near in months.

You froze.

So did she.

She twisted slightly, eyes wide, cheeks already flushed. “I´m sorry, I didn’t..”

“Hey,” you whispered, sliding your hands around her waist, anchoring her.

“It’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

“I liked it.”

She looked like she might combust. You kissed her shoulder, slow and warm, and leaned closer until your lips brushed her ear.

“Alexia,” you murmured.

“It’s okay to want this.”

She closed her eyes.

Nodded once.

And didn’t move away.

The sun dipped behind the horizon slowly, like even it didn’t want to leave. The last light bled across the sky in soft oranges and dusky blues, casting shadows across the white curtains and worn wood floors of the bedroom. The sea whispered outside. The windows were open. Everything smelled like salt, heat and lemon trees.

Alexia had barely said a word since the sunscreen moment. But she hadn’t left your side, either. You were both quiet through dinner. Not tense. Just... aware. Like the air had shifted. Like something was standing patiently in the doorway of the night, waiting to be invited in.

She showered first. You heard the water turn off. Heard her bare feet pad across the floor. When you stepped into the room, she was already in bed. Sheets folded neatly over her hips, her back to the door.

You dried your hair with a towel and watched her for a moment.

“Hey,” you said softly.

She turned her head, cheek pressed to the pillow.

“Hi.”

You let the towel drop. Crossed the room slowly. Climbed into bed beside her and pulled the blanket over your legs. You didn’t touch her right away. Just lay there. Close.

She reached for your hand and tangled your fingers together.

Her eyes searched yours in the dim light. “Can I say something stupid?”

You nodded. “Always.”

“I keep thinking I’m going to ruin it again.”

You shifted, your other hand brushing her cheek.

“You won’t.”

“I might.”

“Then we fix it. Together.”

Alexia’s throat bobbed. Her eyes went glassy. “I don’t know if I remember how to do this.”

“You don’t have to know,” you whispered.

“You just have to let me love you.”

Her breath caught. And finally, she leaned in.

The kiss was shy at first. Hesitant. Like she was asking a question she didn’t know how to phrase. Her lips brushed yours, then lingered. Just enough pressure to feel real, but not enough to carry weight. Her hand found the hem of your shirt, curled into the fabric like it was the only thing keeping her upright.

You didn’t rush her. Instead you cupped her jaw gently, your thumb stroking across the curve of her cheek to ground her. You pressed in again. Soft, steady, patient, and this time, she answered. A slow exhale into your mouth. A trembling inhale when your fingers traced the line of her waist.

You kissed her like you had all the time in the world.

Like you weren’t trying to get anywhere. Just be there.

Her body pressed into yours by inches. Hesitant at first, but growing bolder. Like she was remembering what it felt like to belong to someone without consequence. Her other hand slipped up, cupping the back of your neck, thumb brushing behind your ear. Her lips moved more deliberately now. Her tongue slid across your bottom lip, tentative, testing, and when you parted your mouth for her, she moaned softly into you.

That sound lit something behind your ribs.

Not lust. Not urgency.

Just... need. Pure and quiet and real.

You shifted, inching closer until your knee slotted between hers, until your stomach brushed hers with every breath. Your hands slid under the edge of her shirt, just to feel the warmth of her skin. She didn’t flinch. Didn’t pull away. Her breath stuttered, but she stayed. Let you hold her.

Let you keep her.

The kiss deepened naturally, like the ocean does when the tide rolls in. Not all at once, not violently, but undeniably. Her mouth opened more fully, her body easing into yours like she’d forgotten how to brace for impact. You felt her fingers grip the back of your shirt tighter, like she didn’t want to lose the anchor. You broke away for a second to catch your breath.

Alexia’s lips were pink and kiss-swollen. Her eyes dark and wide.

“You good?” you asked, voice barely there.

She nodded, breathless. “I’m okay, yeah.”

You smiled. Pressed your forehead to hers.

“Good,” you whispered. “Because I want to keep kissing you.”

“Please,” she said, and her voice was equal parts shy and sure.

You kissed her again. This time, she moaned without hesitation. And when you shifted, rolling gently until she was beneath you, she didn’t hesitate. Only exhaled like she’d been waiting for this, for the weight of your body pressing her into the sheets, for the quiet safety of being held and wanted all at once. 

Her legs parted naturally, wrapping loosely around your hips, and her hands found your sides like they belonged there. She wasn’t trembling this time. Just breathing fast. Her chest rose and fell beneath you in little stuttering swells as your lips dragged slowly across her jaw, down the side of her throat, pressing tender kisses into the skin like you were thanking it. Her fingers clenched slightly in the hem of your shirt when your mouth reached the slope of her shoulder.

You paused. Rested your forehead against her chest, just for a breath. “Still okay?” you whispered, voice low and reverent against her skin.

She nodded quickly. Then slower. Her voice came quiet, cracked open and bare. 

“Yes. Just… Go slow?”

Your answer was a kiss to her collarbone.

You kissed lower, down her sternum, across the soft curve of her stomach. Her hands slid up your back as you moved, fingertips just barely brushing your skin, like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to want more. When your mouth reached her waist, you let your thumbs trace a slow line beneath the hem of her underwear. You looked up.

“Can I take these off?” you asked, your voice just a breath.

She looked down at you with something raw in her eyes. Vulnerability, fear, maybe even a little disbelief, and then nodded.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Please.”

You peeled the fabric down with care, kissing every new inch of exposed skin as you went. Her breath caught when the air met her, sharp and quiet, her legs tensing and then slowly loosening again. You settled between her thighs, your palms warm and grounding as they smoothed along the tops of them. You kissed the inside of her knee first. Then again. Then higher, and higher, until she let out the smallest, prettiest whimper. One you felt more than heard.

Her hands moved to your head, not pushing, just anchoring. Like she needed something to hold on to as your mouth met her.

The first touch of your tongue made her gasp. High, startled, involuntary.

You paused. Kissed her inner thigh. Whispered,

“It’s okay, baby. Just breathe.”

She made a sound like she was trying to say something, but all that came out was a broken little moan. You stayed slow. Gentle. Every movement of your mouth was deliberate. Loving. You wanted her to feel safe here. Wanted her to know this wasn’t about claiming her, it was about giving her back to herself.

She whispered your name like she didn’t know she was saying it. Over and over. A plea. A thank you. A prayer.

You felt her legs tighten around your shoulders, hips lifting into your mouth, and you held her with both hands, letting her move. Letting her chase it. Her fingers tangled tight in your hair, tugging when your tongue stroked just right. The sounds she made were beautiful. Soft, breathy and building slowly. She whimpered your name again, her thighs trembling and her breath catching on every exhale.

When you felt her start to break apart beneath you, you didn’t stop. You just pressed your hands tighter into her hips and murmured, 

“You can let go. I’ve got you.”

She came with a sharp gasp, her whole body arching into you, her legs trembling as her hands clutched at your shoulders like she might fall without you. The sound she made was soft, her mouth falling open, a long, shaky moan that fell apart into breath.

You stayed with her. Let her ride it out. Kissed her through it. Slowed down only when her grip on your hair softened, when her body slumped into the mattress like it had given everything up to you. When you finally looked up, her eyes were wet. Her lips parted. Her breath was shaky. She looked like she was seeing you for the first time all over again.

You kissed her thigh. Her stomach. The space over her heart.

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered.

And for once, she didn’t look away. She just reached for you as her voice cracked around the edges, quiet and full of wonder. “I didn’t know I could still feel like this.”

Your heart clenched. You leaned into her touch, pressed a kiss into her palm. “You can,” you murmured. “You do.”

And then you let your lips trail up her wrist, her forearm, soft and slow, until you were kissing her again, mouth to mouth. This time deeper. Hungrier. Your hand slipped under her thigh, lifting her slightly, your body pressing into hers in a way that made you both gasp.

You pulled back just enough to speak, brushing your lips against hers. “Do you want more?”

Alexia’s eyes fluttered open. Her face was already flushed, but a deeper pink bloomed across her cheeks. “Yes,” she whispered. Then a softer and breathless “Please.”

It hit you low and deep. That voice. That look. Like she needed you more than air.

Alexia’s hands found the hem of your shirt first, fingertips trembling slightly as she pushed it up your back. You helped her, peeling it off and tossing it aside. Her hands ran along your sides like she was rediscovering something sacred. Her eyes flicked to your chest, then back to your face, and when you nodded, she leaned in and kissed the space between your breasts slowly with reverence. Like she wanted to memorize the way your skin tasted.

You tugged her top off in return, baring her completely, and paused just to look at her. God, she was stunning. Pink-cheeked, kiss-bitten, glowing in the low light. Her chest lifted in soft, uneven waves as she looked up at you like you were everything she’d ever been afraid to want.

You bent to kiss the slope of one breast. Then the other. Tongue slow, lips soft, just enough to make her sigh sweet and shakily, then curl her hands in your hair.

“I could stay here forever,” you whispered against her skin.

“Don’t,” she murmured. “Don’t stop.”

So you didn’t. You kissed your way down her stomach once more, letting your palms smooth over her sides to settle her, ground her. She was already open for you, legs parted, body relaxed in that beautiful, post-release haze. But as your breath ghosted between her thighs again, you felt her shiver, like her body remembered exactly what was coming and still couldn’t believe it.

You kissed the inside of her thigh first. Then again, higher this time, until you felt her shift beneath you, hips tilting just slightly, silently asking for more.

Her hands found your hair again when your mouth met her. The second time was slower, more decadent than desperate. Your tongue moved in patient, reverent circles, teasing her back toward that same edge with delicate precision. She gasped on contact, hips twitching upward, and you wrapped your arms beneath her thighs to steady her, keep her grounded as you took your time.

The noises she made were different this time. Looser. Bolder. She moaned without shame now, let her head fall back, let her thighs open wider. Her hands clutched at you like you were the only thing tethering her to earth.

“God” she whimpered, voice thin and high, “you’re gonna kill me.”

“You like it,” you murmured, lips brushing where she was already soaking for you. “You’re so sensitive, baby. So perfect for me.”

She answered with a helpless little cry and rolled her hips into your mouth. You let her chase it. Let her grind. Let her fall apart however she needed.

It didn’t take long. Her body remembered. Her blood remembered. And when you flattened your tongue and sucked just right, she came undone again with a broken, beautiful moan and your name tangled in it. Her thighs clamped around your shoulders, her back arched off the bed, and all you could do was hold on and worship her through every wave of it.

You stayed there kissing her, soothing her, whispering quiet things into the soft skin of her thighs as she trembled and sighed and eventually went still.

When you crawled back up to her, she was glowing. Skin flushed, lips parted, eyes heavy with something deep and aching. She looked at you like she could cry. Like she could laugh. Like she could kiss you for the rest of her life.

You kissed her chest again, over her heart, where it beat wild beneath your lips.

“I” she started, then laughed weakly.

“Jesus.”

You kissed her, slow and deep and tasting of her. Her hands slid to your back, pulling you closer like she couldn’t stand the distance anymore.

When you pulled away, you whispered against her jaw,

“You want to stop here?”

She shook her head. “No. Please, no. I want you.”

“Yeah?” you breathed, already curling your fingers gently between her legs. “Tell me.”

She moaned, low and shaky. “I want your fingers, please.”

Your whole body ached at the sound of it.

So you gave her one finger first. Slipped it in slow, gentle, coaxing. Her body welcomed you easily, still slick, still pulsing from the last release.You watched her face. The way her mouth opened, her brows knit, her thighs shifted.

“Still okay?” you murmured.

She nodded, whispering, “More.”

You slid in a second finger, scissoring slightly, letting her stretch around you.

“Oh, fuck,” she gasped, hips canting upward.

“That’s so. God, yes.”

You kissed her shoulder, her throat, her jaw. “You’re taking it so well. You feel so good, baby.”

When you added the third, it was slow. Her breath hitched, then broke into a moan that turned into something higher, needier. Her hands gripped your back, nails digging in, her legs wrapping around your hips.

“You’re so deep,” she panted. “I feel everything.”

You rocked your hand gently, curling your fingers just right, watching the way her entire body responded, arched, opened, begged. She was so wet, so full, so wrecked already, and you weren’t going to stop until she fell apart again.

And this time, when she did, it was louder. Her head tipped back, a choked-out cry tearing from her lips as she came again, gripping your wrist, her thighs shaking around your arm as you fucked her through it with everything you had.

She was crying by the time she settled. Quiet, overwhelmed tears, the kind that came with being seen, being held, being loved that deeply.

You kissed her cheeks. Her eyes. Her mouth.

“Still okay?” you asked softly.

She nodded, eyes shining.

Then she smiled.

“God,” she breathed, voice hoarse, lips swollen from your kisses, “you´re ruining me.”

You grinned against her skin, your mouth pressed to the rapid pulse in her neck, your fingers still slick with her. “Oh, baby,” you murmured, dragging your nose along her jaw. “I’m just getting started.”

She shivered beneath you, part anticipation and part desperation. Her hands gripped your back like she didn’t trust herself not to float away. You felt her nails scrape, not hard, just enough to make you feel it. Just enough to make your chest thrum with heat.

You kissed your way down her body again, worshipful. Each pass of your mouth was slower, wetter, more intentional than before. You kissed her breastbone, her sternum, the soft skin just below her ribs. She arched into every touch, her thighs already parting again without you asking.

“I need,” she started, then broke off with a whimper as your lips brushed the top of her thigh.

You looked up, mouth resting just below her hip. Her hands trembled where they hovered mid-air, reaching but not sure what to grab.

“What do you need?” you asked, soft and low, lips brushing her skin.

Her voice cracked. “I need more, need you inside. All of you.”

God, the sound of that. You felt it in your knees. In your spine.

“You’ve already had me, baby,” you said, sliding your hands up her sides.

“I just want to give you more.”

You moved slowly, crawling up her body to kiss her again, deep and anchoring, so she remembered where she was. That she was safe. That she was yours.

You reached for the harness then, slow and deliberate, not trying to rush the moment but letting her see it, feel it in the air. Your fingers wrapped around the base, the weight familiar, grounding. Her breath caught as you adjusted it, buckled it on like a promise you’d waited months to keep.

Alexia watched you like she’d never seen anything more beautiful. Her eyes were glassy, her thighs already twitching with anticipation. You ran your hands down her sides again, over the curve of her hips, and kissed her like it was the last thing you’d ever do.

“Tell me if you need to stop,” you murmured against her lips.

“Tell me if anything feels wrong. I’ll stop in a second.”

She shook her head, chest rising fast. “No, I want this..”

You lined yourself up, slow and reverent. One hand at her hip, the other guiding. You kissed her knee again, her thigh, every part of her that was open and trembling.

“Breathe with me,” you whispered, and she did.

And then you pushed in.

The first inch made her gasp, her hand flying to your shoulder. You froze, your hand steady at her hip, watching her face, every flicker of pleasure and stretch and disbelief written there like scripture.

“Okay?” you asked, your voice so low it vibrated between you.

She nodded, a tiny moan slipping past her lips. “More.”

You gave her another inch. And another. Her legs came up to wrap around your waist, heels pressing into the small of your back like she was pulling you in. Her walls clenched around the silicone, drawing you deeper. Her breath came in sharp, short little gasps, her brows drawn tight, her eyes fluttering closed.

And then when you were all the way in, when your hips met hers and your bodies were flush, she groaned.

Not a polite sound. Not a soft one.

No, this was deep. Ragged. From her gut.

It punched the air out of both of you.

Her arms wrapped tight around your shoulders, her mouth open against your neck as she tried to breathe, to survive the feeling of you inside her. You kissed the side of her face, her temple, her ear, murmuring soft nothings: I’ve got you, I’ve got you, you’re so good, you’re so perfect, this is what we waited for.

Then she did it.

She bit you. Hard.

Her teeth sank into your shoulder, sharp and knowing, and the groan it tore out of you was unholy.

“Baby,” you choked, rocking your hips into her once, slow, deep, devastating. “If you do that again, I don’t think I’ll be able to be as gentle as I want to be.”

She lifted her head just enough to look at you.

Flushed. Panting. Dazed.

And then, with the filthiest desperation you’d ever heard in your life:

“Good. I don’t want gentle. I want to feel it tomorrow.”

Your body snapped.

The thrust you gave her next was deeper. Hungrier. She cried out, loud and hoarse and so fucking wrecked and her legs squeezed tighter around your waist, anchoring you in place.

You fucked her like you’d been waiting your whole life to do it.

Long, steady strokes that kept her pinned to the bed. Each thrust angled to hit just right. The rhythm you set was smooth but heavy and filled with all the want you’d swallowed down for months.

Her voice was a constant moaning, whimpering and breathless gasps of your name,

“Yes, yes, right there. Oh my God, don’t stop”

Her nails clawed at your back. Her teeth found your neck again. You grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, your hips not stopping for a second, and she howled.

“I’m gonna come,” she warned, voice high and thin and breaking apart.

“Fuck, I’m gonna”

You kissed her through it. Didn’t stop. Held her down and rocked into her over and over until she shattered.

She came hard, full-body, her back arching off the bed, her thighs shaking, her voice rising into something feral and cracked and completely undone. You slowed but didn’t pull out. Let her ride it out, let her hips twitch and grind and milk every last drop of the feeling.

Alexia collapsed beneath you with a shuddering exhale, her body still twitching with aftershocks. Her hands, which had been clenched in the sheets, fluttered weakly before one of them found your jaw and held it like she was afraid you'd vanish. Her mouth was parted, her eyes wide and glassy, her cheeks painted a deep, delicious pink.

And god, she looked utterly wrecked. 

Gorgeous and alive in a way that made your chest ache.

You didn’t move right away.

Didn’t pull out. Didn’t let go.

You just hovered there, catching your breath, your foreheads pressed together, your noses brushing every time one of you tried to inhale. Her legs were still wrapped around your waist, loosely now, like she hadn’t realized she could let go.

You kissed the corner of her mouth. Then her jaw. Then her cheek, just beneath her eye, where the skin was still damp with heat and sweat and something close to tears.

“Hey,” you whispered, voice ruined and tender. “All good there?”

Alexia let out a laugh that was mostly air and a little bit dazed hysteria. “No,” she whispered.

“God, no. I think I died.”

You smiled, dizzy with how much you adored her.

“You did. I saw it. Really tragic. I cried.”

“I blacked out at one point,” she murmured, brushing her fingers over your collarbone.

“There were stars.”

“There were definitely stars.” You grinned into her skin.

“Also, you bit me.”

She looked up at you, eyes narrowing. “You love it.”

“Maybe,” you said, cocking your head playfully.

“A little.”

She groaned and dropped her head back into the pillow, a loose, satisfied sound that warmed your entire chest. “I’m going to feel this for a week.”

“Good.” You kissed her again, slower this time, smiling against her lips. “You said you wanted to feel it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she said with a faint wheeze. “Not forever.”

You laughed into her neck and held her tighter. Let your hand drift down to where your bodies were still connected, resting there gently, protectively. Her breath hitched. You could still feel her heartbeat, fast, fluttering, right beneath your palm.

And then something shifted.

She exhaled. A real one. Deep, shaky, but steady.

Then she looked up at you clear-eyed. Centered. Like something had settled inside her at last.

“You didn’t just ruin me,” she whispered.

“You put me back together.”

Your throat closed around the words you wanted to say back. So you kissed her instead, deep and sure and full of everything you couldn’t say yet.

When you finally pulled back, she was smiling.

“You’re staying here,” she said softly.

You blinked. “What?”

“You’re not going anywhere tonight,” she said, like it was the easiest truth in the world.

“You’re mine. Here. Now.”

You dropped your forehead to hers.

“Always.”

You finally rolled onto your side, pulling her with you, wrapping every limb you could around her. You stayed just like that: bodies tangled, skin flushed, the ocean humming outside like it knew that it witnessed something holy.

Because it had.

You’d waited. You’d rebuilt.

And now, finally, she was yours again. Not just in your arms, but in herself.

In the part that used to say, not me, not like this. Now, she knew better. She knew she was worthy of all of it.

And you would remind her. Over and over again. Because this was love and this time it stayed.

Fin.

[moonlight-alexia]

no words, just you | a.p.

alexia putellas x matildas!reader | 1.4k | you come home to alexia after a tough international break

ˏˋ°•*⁀ i hope y'all like it, it just came into my head no long ago and felt the need to write it. idk if it's any good but hope you all like to read it <3

any and all feedback, comments, reblogs etc are very appreciated and welcome <3

As you settled into your seat on the plane, an uneasy weight settled over your body. A long flight that was going to be made even longer with the way you couldn’t settle yourself or seem to relax. There was a heaviness that wasn’t going away and all you could do was hope that it would leave once you focused back on club football.

You normally loved international break. You love representing your country, you love spending time with your national teammates, you were all so close and had this bond. Especially everyone being spread across the globe, camp was made more special getting to see your friends that you had grown up playing football with. 

You always wore the green and gold with so much pride, you just wished the people in charge cared about you and the team the way you cared about playing for your country. It was easier said than done to just focus on the football and let that do the talking. The constant media abuse was starting to weigh on most of the girls in camp, having no clear direction and not properly building towards a home tournament in twelve months was becoming exhausting. Seven months without a permanent coach.

Part of you wished you had pulled out of this camp and stayed in Barcelona with Alexia during this break. But the idea of a little tournament and a kit debut had drawn you in and now, mentally, you were paying the price of going.

Leaning your head back against your seat, you let out a deep sigh, a breath you didn’t know you had been holding in. You grabbed your phone, hovering over the texts from Alexia, seeing the most recent ones she’d sent as you were getting on the plane.

‘Bon dia mi amor, have a safe flight. I’ll be there when you land. Te quiero y te extraño mucho xx’

A little smile graced your lips, you couldn’t wait to be home with Alexia, to be in her arms where nothing else seems to matter but the safety of her presence. Alexia had been a bit worried about you over the last week and a bit. She’d managed to find a way to watch your matches and by the end of the last one she could see how defeated you looked. Each loss on top of everything else going on had really weighed you down and it was visible, probably more so to someone like Alexia who knew you as well as she did.

Since the kit debut photos came out where Alexia couldn’t hold back from calling you and you having agreed to model the away kit for her when you were back home, conversations between the two of you mainly consisted of Alexia sending you little messages throughout the day with no expectation of you answering. 

Even if you barely had the mental energy to reply to the messages, getting to read little bits of Alexia’s day made you smile. Also made you miss her even more than you thought you could. 

‘Te quiero Ale, can’t wait to see you again x’

Soon enough you’ll be in Alexia’s arms, the one thought that would get you through the flight back to Barcelona. You were wrapped up in one of Alexia’s hoodies that you’d taken on camp with you, arms wrapped around yourself tightly as if you could hold yourself together so you didn’t feel so flat and like you were breaking. The hoodie still smelled like Alexia and your eyes suddenly grew heavy. It’d been a long week and a half, so you were more than happy to let yourself succumb to and let sleep wash over you.

‘Amor!’ Alexia’s eyes lit up when she saw you walking through the airport, quickly making her way over to you, wrapping her arms around you and lifting you up slightly. You let out a breath of a laugh, dropping the handle of your suitcase and wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. Nuzzling your face in the crook of her neck, the hoodie may have smelled like Alexia but nothing was better than actually having her against you.

‘Hola Ale,’ You whispered against the skin of her neck, your breath sending a shiver down her spine. She’s missed this, missed you.

Time seemed to stop while you both stood wrapped up in each other's arms in the middle of the airport. Reluctantly you slightly pulled away from each other, your hands resting on the tops of her arms while Alexia’s were still loosely wrapped around your waist. Alexia leaned down, pressing a little kiss to your cheek.

Alexia grabbed the handle of your suitcase with one hand and with the other she held out for you to hold, lacing your fingers together the moment your hand met hers, ‘Home now, sí?’ Alexia gave your hand a little squeeze, smiling softly at you. 

‘I’m already home amor,’ Alexia rolled her eyes playfully, nudging her shoulder against yours. 

‘Oh stop it you,’ Alexia tried to hide her smile from you, but it was always impossible.

A comfortable silence fell over you both while Alexia drove you back to your shared house. You were still so tired, leaning your head back, your eyes fixated on your girlfriend. Every so often you saw her eyes flutter in your direction, lips turning up every time she caught your gaze. A slight blush creeped across her cheeks when she noticed you were staring at her.

‘Mi amor,’ Alexia whined, ‘Why you staring?’ She reached over gently, pushing your head to look the other way.

‘What? I can’t look at mi novia who is muy bonita,’ You emphasised the little bits of Spanish you sprinkled in whenever you could, making Alexia laugh a little. 

‘Remember when all you could say was bon dia for months,’ It had taken you a bit to get used to and remember bits of the language from your lessons. Somehow you and Alexia got to know each other despite her broken English and your broken Spanish, ‘Now look at you, adding more words,’ You pushed her hand away when she tapped your thigh faux condescendingly.

‘Not my fault it took me so long. My teacher was quite distracting,’ You joked around, cracking a half smile. Alexia smirked, a wink sent your way and at a red light she leaned over to press a kiss to your temple, resting her hand on your thigh.

The moment you walked through the front door to the house you shared with Alexia, there was a comfort that instantly washed over you. The past week, while still in the back of your mind, it wasn’t so loud anymore. Photos of you and Alexia, your friends and family filled the space and you were reminded of everything good in your life.

‘Hate seeing you like this cari,’ Alexia’s arms wrapped around your waist from behind, ‘I know what it’s like, if you need to talk,’ You melted into Alexia’s embrace. You may not have been the one to tell her what had been going on, but she always knew what to do and say even if no one had told her.

‘Just want to be here with you, leave it all out there,’ You pointed lazily towards the door, for now wanting to keep your house the safe space you needed.

Alexia laid against the headboard, you laid between her legs with your head on her chest. She wrapped a blanket around the two of you, rubbing your back gently, for the first time since you left Barcelona for camp you felt like you could finally relax.

Alexia kissed the top of your head, letting her lips linger, ‘Saw the goal mi vida, siempre muy bien, going do that with us next week?’ She spoke softly against your head. 

You cuddled into Alexia, pressing yourself against her even more, trying to get as close as possible,  ‘Do I get a reward if I do?’ You smiled sheepishly.

‘Hmm you always do,’ Alexia tilted your head up and kissed you slowly, 

The weight of everything would come back another day but for tonight you were home, safe, loved and in the arms of the one person who could always make everything feel like it would be okay again. You were back with Alexia and, tonight, that’s all that matters.

[pitchsidestories]

After the fall II Jana Fernández x Rugby!Reader

romantic masterlist | platonic masterlist | word count: 1711

summary: At a rugby match, Jana’s playful banter with her teammates shifts to worry when her girlfriend is seriously injured on the field. requested

author's note: Hi, we had so much fun writing this opposites-attract romance and hope you love reading it as much as we loved creating it! 💗💗

disclaimer: everything in this fanfiction is purely fictional and nothing corresponds to reality.

The first thing Jana noticed in the stadium was the fans. There weren’t as many as at her football games, but they were excited, loud, and passionate. Pride surged in her chest; she felt the inevitable sense that women’s rugby would soon see the same kind of rise that women’s football had.

She took her seat, looking out on the pitch, ignoring the chatter of her teammates. Only when they finally sat down beside to her, her attention shifted.

“As someone who comes from the motherland of rugby, let me give you all quick breakdown of the rules.”, Lucy said, relishing the moment.

Ona rolled her eyes at her girlfriend: “Lucy.”

Jana chuckled and turned to the English defender: “Are you really trying to mansplain the game that my girlfriend plays? This isn’t my first rugby match, Lucia.”

To emphasise, she dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder, even though she secretly loved playing into those clashing stereotypes.

Bruna’s eyes widened as she sucked in a breath: “Oof, burn.”

The stunned look on Lucys face was priceless, even if it only lasted a few seconds.

“I’m not mansplaining…”, Lucy started to mansplain but then hesitated, seemingly realising that she was doing exactly that again.

“Wait, you’re dating one of them?”, she asked.

Ona shot her girlfriend an accusatory look: “Tsk, Lucy. I definitely told you that.”

“No, you didn’t.”, Lucy protested.

“Yes, I did. Like three times already!”, Ona insisted.

Jana interrupted before things got out of hand: “Before this turns into a proper fight, let me come back to your question, Lucy. Yes, I am dating a rugby player.”

“Great, now I know that too.”, Lucy said, smirking.

“Do you have any more questions on that topic or can we enjoy the game now?”, Jana asked, eyes already drifting back to the pitch where your team just walked out.

With a mischievous grin, Lucy replied : “Oh, I have a lot more questions, trust me.”

“Hey, Mario and I are back with the snacks.”, Laia interrupted, arms full of chips and popcorn. She and Mario squished past their teammates, handing out food as they went.

“Perfect timing, the game is about to start.”, Bruna grinned, happily grabbing a bag of popcorn from her.

Jana smiled: “Finally.”

The group went quiet as the rugby team huddled for the kick-off. But the silence didn’t last for long.

Lucy leaned over to Jana; eyebrows raised: “So? How did you and rugby girl meet?”

“Long story.”, the younger defender tried to brush it off.

Winking, Mariona replied: “We’ve got time.”

“So, which one is it then? Her? Or her?, the English footballer asked, nodding towards several women she suspected might be the one.

A soft blush coloured Jana’s cheeks as the brunette quietly gestured in your direction:“Her.”

“Nice thighs.”, Lucy remarked, raising her dark eyebrows suggestively, only to receive a nudge from her girlfriend.

Ignoring the teasing tone in the older woman’s voice, your girlfriend glanced at you with a dreamy look: “Yeah… she’s beautiful. And strong.”

“Perfect match.”, Mariona grinned. What she really meant was how lovely it was to see her this happy—with someone who clearly meant the world to her.

 A horrified murmur rippled through the stadium as you went down, clearly in pain.

“Woah… what was that?”, Laia stared in shock.

Jana immediately went pale, muttering: “That was a bad tackle.”

“It looks really bad.”, Bruna admitted quietly.

Watching you—always so strong—now needing assistance from the medical team shattered your girlfriend’s heart: “It does… she can’t go on.”

“Jana..”, Ona said gently.

Jana offered her friend a weak smile, trying to reassure her and smooth away the worry etched across her face: “It’s okay.”

“You’re looking a bit pale.”, the Brighton footballer observed with equal concern.

Jana tried to swallow down the fear.: “I’m fine.”

The rest of the match passed in a blur. She couldn’t focus, couldn’t even recall the scoreline by the end—her thoughts were completely consumed by you.

Relief only came when Lucy stated, matter-of-factly: “Game’s over.”

“Do you mind if I…?”, Jana asked, already rising to her feet, her free hand running nervously through her dark hair.

“Go and look after her,” Ona encouraged, her tone full of understanding.

Jana gave a quick word of thanks and was already on her way, heart pounding against her chest.

Meanwhile, you laid there, dosed up on painkillers. Your eyes weren’t quite open, yet you still sensed her presence: “Jana?”

“Hi, amor. How are you? That looked rough.”, she said, kneeling beside you.

You reached up and softly cupped her cheek with your hand: “I’m alright, don’t worry, corazón.”

“Really?”, Jana raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced by your reassurances.

You liked that about her—despite her girlish appearance, she never took any nonsense from anyone.

Clearing her throat, the rugby physio, Kelly, stepped in and unintentionally broke the moment between the two of you: “She’s on painkillers. It’s a shoulder injury.”

Jana’s breath caught in her throat. A shoulder injury? Her mind raced through worst-case scenarios—rehab, surgery, time away from the pitch. She loves the game. How long will she be out? Will she be okay mentally with all this?

“Oh no.”, she whispered, the weight of it sinking in. Her gaze dropped to your hand resting on the stretcher, and she instinctively reached out to hold it. I should be strong for her. She’s the one hurt. But why does this feel like my chest is caving in?

You gave her fingers a faint squeeze, as if you knew exactly what was running through her mind. And maybe you did.

“It’s not a problem. I can handle it.”, you assured her as nonchalantly as you could manage despite your injury.

Jana gave you a soft smile, her thumb grazing the skin of your cheek: “You need to rest and recover, amor.”

“Your girlfriend’s got a point there.”, Kelly cut in, unimpressed by your display of affection.

You knew that when the physios’ jaw was set and her forehead creased like that, she was fully focused on her players' wellbeing.

Jana nodded at you: “I know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh, I know you do.”, you replied, thinking back to the times you'd seen Jana on the other side of an injury. She was always a full-on professional.

“At least your girls won.”, she added, swiftly changing the topic.

You were already off the pitch, having your shoulder assessed by Kelly when the game ended. But you still heard your team’s celebration echoing into the treatment room.

“They did.“, you smiled, then asked: “Did your girls enjoy the game?”

“I think they did.”, Jana confirmed.

“That’s good.”, you said, smiling even wider.

“Would you like to meet them?”, your girlfriend asked, exchanging a quick glance with Kelly.

You nodded, excitedly: “Yes, of course.”

“Only if you feel okay enough.”, Jana added quickly, a note of worry in her voice.

You pushed yourself off the treatment table with one arm, your other one strapped tight in a shoulder brace at your side.

“I’m okay. Only a bit giggly from the painkillers.”, you joked.

Jana rolled her eyes playfully: “Oh god.”

Janas friends and teammates were waiting outside the stands. You smiled politely as you approached.

Lucy studied you openly, sweeping from your face to your feet and back up again. A smirk tugged at her lips: “So this is Janas girl?”

“I am.”, you confirmed.

“The thighs look even more impressive up close.”, she commented, glancing down at your quads, still dressed in dark blue shorts. You'd almost forgotten you were still in your kit.

For a second, you were taken aback, wondering if that was a normal thing to say or if the painkillers were messing with you. Whatever it was, you decided to take it as a compliment. At the same time, Ona elbowed Lucy sharply in the side.

“Ouch.”

You grinned, studying Lucy the same way she had studied you: “I could say the same about yours.”

“Thanks.”, she said before turning to your girlfriend: “I like her already, Jana.”

“I knew you would.”, Jana laughed.

“It’s lovely to finally meet you girls.”, you said with a warm smile to your partner’s friends.

“Lovely to meet you too.”, Ona replied kindly.

“How’s your shoulder?”, Bruna asked, her tone laced with concern.

You gave it a moment’s thought before answering honestly: “It feels fine now.”

“That’s good to hear.”, Laia said, visibly relieved. “We were all a bit worried—especially Jana—when you went down like that.”

As you were all professional athletes, there was a silent understanding that injuries were just as much a part of the game as wins and losses.

You mustered the bravest grin you could and reassured them: “She doesn’t need to worry about me. That’s just rugby.”

Later that evening, when you and Jana were alone in the quiet of your bedroom, she gently cupped your face in her elegant fingers, her eyes searching yours—looking past the brave front you’d worn like armour all day.

“Amor… how’s your shoulder really?”, she asked softly.

You hesitated for just a second before admitting: “It hurts a bit.”

“Poor girl.”, your girlfriend murmured, full of empathy.

You let out a small chuckle: “What are you doing?”

“Kissing it better?”, she suggested with a grin, her laughter mingling with yours.

The tenderness in her voice, the warmth in her touch—it wrapped around your heart like a blanket. “Sounds like the perfect remedy.”, you whispered.

“I wish it worked like that.”, the footballer answered, her voice barely above a breath.

You gave her a playful smirk: “Trust me on this.”

“If you say so, it must be true.”, she said, smiling as if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you.

“Then kiss me again.”, you asked, your voice tender.

And without a moment’s hesitation, she did—softly, lovingly, like it meant everything.

After your fall on the pitch, something shifted in Jana. She realised she had fallen for you deeper than she ever thought possible. It scared her a little, that kind of vulnerability—but it also made her feel more alive, and more certain, than she’d ever been.

She was undeniably in love with you.

[alotofpockets]

I don't need you to fix me | Alexia Putellas x Reader

5k celebration prompt: "I don’t need you to fix me, I just need you to hold me."

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.3k

-----

Alexia was behind the wheel humming to the song that was playing in the car. Her eyes focussed on the road, as she was driving you both to the stadium. You on the other hand were quietly staring out the window, not looking forward to going whatsoever.

You had been out with an injury for the past month, and to say it had been a struggle was an understatement. The recovery time wasn’t supposed to be this long, but you had some setbacks. 

When Alexia noticed, she put her hand on your leg and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay to not feel fine all the time. You know you can talk to me right? I know what you’re going through.” You turn to her and give her a quick tight lipped smile before staring out of the window again.

You knew that Alexia was just trying to help, but while she had been injured not too long ago herself, she didn’t know what you were feeling. She didn’t know because you had not told her about what was going on inside your head every time that you would head to training together, and she would get to go onto the pitch and train with the team, while you felt left behind in the gym on your own with the trainers.

The way they would get back inside laughing together, and having big smiles upon their faces from having a fun session together. While you were inside, working your ass off to get back out there, but setback after setback kept you inside and away from the game that you loved.

You tried putting on a brave face every time your teammates were around, but with Alexia it was different. You lived together, you slept in the same bed, sometimes there was no hiding your feelings from her, no matter how hard you tried. 

She had seen you cry more than once, always offering words of comfort. Speeches about how recovery is a tricky process, but how it would pay off in the end. Reminding you of her own recovery time, and the steps she had to take. She was always trying to fix the situation and you let her go on with it even though it was not helping you. You understood Alexia’s need to want to fix things, she loved you and her words came from love. Just sometimes you wish that she would ask what you needed instead of giving you what she had needed herself.

Alexia parked the car once you got to the stadium where the girls would play in a few hours. It was a home game, so you’d be in the stands with a couple of the other girls that weren’t playing tonight. 

Your girlfriend put her arm around your shoulder after she grabbed her bags, “This should be a good game, no?” You smiled, it would be and you were glad Alexia was looking forward to it, you just really wish you could have been on the pitch with her to enjoy it. “Yeah for sure.” You tried to push away the disappointment.

“If I score tonight I will dedicate it to you.” Alexia said proudly, knowing she would give her all to get you that goal tonight. You appreciated the gesture, but in your mind all you thought was I want to be the one to score a goal. Instead of voicing that thought, you say, “That would be sweet.” Another smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes added with it.

True to her word, Alexia found you in the crowd after she scored and blew a kiss your way. It really was a cute gesture and for a moment you let yourself forget that you wanted to be on that pitch yourself, and be happy for the girls and Alexia for getting another goal, but as you sit down again and watch the girls in their celebratory huddle, the negative thoughts creep back in.

While the energy at the stadium had been high, Alexia happy and jumping around with the team after the win, the car ride back was quiet. Alexia seemingly understood that you were not in the mood for a cheery car ride. 

The second you get home, you kick your shoes off to be dealt with later. “I’m gonna head to bed.” Alexia nods, “I will join you soon.” Alexia wanted to join you, because she felt like you needed someone around, but she still had to take a shower. 

You quickly get changed, and lay down under the covers, hoping for them to give you some comfort. All you wanted was to fall asleep, so your mind could turn off for a bit. Sleep wasn’t coming for you though, no matter how tired you were.

When you heard Alexia come to the room, you quickly turned to your side and pretended like you were asleep. You loved her so much, but you could not handle another one of her speeches right now.

Alexia walked in quietly, careful to not wake you. She slid into the bed beside you, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder, “Goodnight cariño.” She whispered. The softness in her tone almost made you want to turn around, but you knew that if she tried making your injury feel less tonight that you would break down right then and there. 

She fell asleep quickly, but an hour later, you were still staring at the ceiling, wide awake. Finally you had enough, and carefully moved out of the bed, not wanting to wake your girlfriend. 

You don’t know how much time you spend sitting on the couch in the dimly lit room, but eventually you hear footsteps nearing. Alexia walks in and looks you over for a moment. The light from the lamp post outside shining in, casting a soft glow over your face. She can see the tiredness on your face and her heart falls seeing you like this.

“You know what helped me sleep when I was-

“I don’t need you to fix me.” You say in frustration, and Alexia’s eyes widen slightly, not having expected you to talk to her that sharply. You hadn’t meant to snap at her, but it was exactly what you knew would happen if she would try to fix it again. You continue softer this time. “I just need you to hold me.”

Alexia stood there a moment before her expression softened. Without another word, she moved towards you and sat down beside you. She gently wrapped her arms around you and pulled you into her. 

The moment your head laid against her, the tears started rolling down your cheeks. For the first time since you got injured, she didn’t try to tell you it would get better. She didn’t remind you that you were strong and would be back on the pitch in no time. No, she just held you, and let you get your feelings out, while she was rubbing her hand in a soothing motion onto your back.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered after a while. You sat up and let her wipe away your tears. “Don’t be. I know you meant every word in a good way, but it just wasn’t what I needed. But I should’ve told you that earlier.” 

Alexia shook her head, “You’re right to feel however you need to feel. But now I know what you need, and I will always be here to hold you. I promise.” With that you lean back into her side. The negative thoughts might still be running through your head, but at least they were a little more bearable with Alexia’s arms around you.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also support me by leaving a tip 💗

[outsideratheart]

You didn’t fail me (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: My first fic in a while. I hope you all like it. In the name of honesty this has been in my drafts for about a week but I forgot to post it.

Very few times in your life had you found yourself speechless. Never like this and never whilst watching Barcelona play. You had a brutal case of Broncitus that had left you on the sidelines for a few weeks now which was the reason why you wasn’t in the starting line up.

Jana's goal was fair and you would die on the hill protesting that there was no offisde in the play. When the ref made the call the bench was on their feet ready to storm the pitch.

Then Real Madrid scored. They had the lead for the second time in this game and quite frankly you had had enough.

Breathing was painful at times but you were almost back to full health. You were on the bench but the plan was never to have you play, in fact it was advised against, but you found yourself in Pere's face demanding him to put you on.

"Y/N, I cannot allow that" Pere tried to talk you down but it wasn't working.

"No! You cannot allow that shit show to continue. Sub me on. Now"

Pere looked at you and you could tell he was thinking about it. His features softened and his eyebrows furrowed. In that moment you knew he was trying to workout who best to bring off.

"Ale" you answered the question for him "Straight sub, me for her. Let me get control of the midfield. Besides I won't be able to play with her worrying about me. Plus by the looks of it she is seconds away from getting a second yellow"

Both of your attentions went back to the pitch were Alexia and Esme were still argueing with the referee. You were just as mad as they were but they needed to move on. In football you needed to be a goldfish.

"She will worry. We all will" You were one of his players but he also knew you were human who wasn't 100%.

"Let her worry from the bench"

He nodded and those were the last words exhcanged. You went back over to the bench to grab your shin pads and take off your quarter zip. 

Meanwhile Alexia was growing more and more frustrated with the way the game was being played and deep down she knew she wasn't having the best game. When she saw the board go up she saw her number but didn't even pay attention to the number beside it. Quickly she ran over to Patri to give her the armband only for her to refuse it.

"I'm not the captain. Y/N is" Patri said which was common knowledge within the team.

"She isn't playing and now neither am I. Take it so we can get on with the game" Still, Alexia was oblivous.

It is only when Patri turns Alexia's shoulder to the sidelines does she release who is replacing her. The balon d'Or winner was ready to kill her coach for playing you.

You could see the furiousity on your girlfriend's face but now wasn't the time. The clock was running down and there was less than ten minutes left in the game.

"Y/N, you aren-"

"Give me the band Ale" 

You were mad and Alexia knew you had every right to be. Your mood didn't bother her but your condition plus the weather was a reason for concern. 

She watched as you ran onto the pitch quickly. Misa was trying to run down the clock as she went down but it works in your favor. You gather the team and rip into them. There was no way for Alexia to know what you said but if the team’s reaction was anything to go by it just might have been your most motivating speech yet.

The clock was ticking and it was something you were fell aware of. You knew going onto the pitch that you wouldn't be playing your best so you used your time and energy wisely. You only made a run when you knew it could pay off and a couple of minutes in you saw the first opening. Caro and Aitana were linked up on the right and you shouted for Ewa to keep near you and in line with you. There was no way in hell that you would going to even come close to being offisde given the latest decision made by officals.

"CARO!!" you scream for the ball as you run with her further and further into the final third. She plays a ball perfectly into the box and the newly wet grass gave you the extra inches you needed to get your foot on the ball and into the back of the net.

"Get the ball" Salma does as you say and the team runs back to their half. The game was tied.

Alexia couldn't beleive what she was watching. Your presence has turned the game on it's head. You had done was she failed to do in 80 minutes. 

Regular time had come and gone. There were mere minutes left in the game. Barca were hunting but Real Madrid were fighting. Both teams had chances but neither could score. You were out of your feet, your lungs on fire but the desire to win pushed you. You focused on the quality of your passes instead of making the runs.

With seconds left you send a ball into the box from near the half way line. It was a last ditch effort but it's all you had in you. The ball was flying through the air almost as if in slow motion. You knew who the target was and she was in the perfect position. Ingrid got her head to the ball with the perfect connection only for it to hit the crossbar and go over for a goal kick.

The whistle was blown and the game ended 2-2. The team might not have lost but a draw was like a win to your opponents and that pissed you off.

The energy at Montuic was stale with most of the fans already having left. That could have been due to the weather but it could also have to do with the team's performance.

Pere gave a speech during the huddle yet no one was listening. They all knew today wasn't good enough but still they took the time to do a lap of the pitch. Normally this is to thank the fans and today's was for that and an apology. Alexia walked next to you but she wouldn't look you in the eye. She did that when she was mad or upset, right now it was a mixture of the two. No words were exchanged as you wrapped your arm around her shoulders. 

"You're not well" your girlfriend's words were barely above a whisper.

"I was needed on that pitch"

Again, silence fell on you two until she saw Pere near the tunnel. 

"He shouldn't have played you" and with that she stormed into the locker room knowing full well that you didn't have the energy to chase after her.

The locker room was louder after you lost the champions league than it was now. Nobody was rushing to get changed. They sat in their kit and thought about how things went so badly.

"That shouldnt have happened" Pere began to spoke but Alexia cut him off. You knew this was coming and you also knew it would end very very badly.

"No!" the Catalonian rose to her feet "I don't care what the score was, you should never have put Y?N on. She has been ill for weeks. You were with us at the medical test, the doctor said she wasn't fit"

"Alexia, he said he advised against it"

"Alexia is right" Mapi was also on her feet walking towards Pere "He put his player at risk"

Pere looked at you. He told you this would happen and you knew it would be up to you to handle them, to handle the team.

"Both of you sit down" you didn't ask but they didn't do it "Sit down now" upon seeing the stern look on your face they did as they were told.

You stood up and looked at each player in the locker room before turning your attention to the two woman who were adament on defending you.

"Now I am going to be very very honest with you, with you all. That our there was abmismal. We pride ourselves on our ability to play at a world class level yet that our was fucking amateur hour"

"But the goal was-"

"A goal. Nobody in this world will argue with you on that one but we shouldn't have been in that position in the first place. We went down to Real Madrid not once but twice. That is not good enough. That is not us. That is not Barcelona" You take a second to catch your breathe "As for the decision to sub me on, that wasn't his, it was mine. Never have I seen us have to adapt to the way they play and I wasn't going to sit on the bench and watch it happen for a second longer. Pere didn't want me to come on but deep down he knew I had what it took to regain control of the game" 

Alexia listened as you broke down the game. Play by play she realised as you pointed out mistake and mistake. To other teams it wouldn't come off as bad but you were right when you said the performance wasn't Barcelona level of football. 

"I should have been on that pitch" Alexia still wasn't ok with the change.

"No you shouldn't" It was a harsh truth but it had to be said "You couldn't find a way through them and you were seconds away from getting a second yellow. You let them get under your skin and the moment that happened you were no longer of use to the team. I needed to be on the pitch without worrying about you worrying about me"

"So I got benched because I'm your girlfriend. That hasn't stopped us before" Alexia sunk into her locker. Even after your explanation, she din't agree with it.

"You got benched because things wasn't clicking with you on the pitch" 

It was like a kick in a gut.

“A decision needed to be made and given how the game turned around it was the right one” 

You looked at Alexia and disregarded everyone else in the room. In your mind it was just the two of you.

“I know” Alexia was disappointed in herself.

The rest of the locker room began changing whilst still thinking about what you said. Everyone was showered and changed within half an hour. By the time you game out of the shower Alexia was gone. You assumed she would take a minute then shower herself but clearly she had other plans and whatever they were you would respect them. You shoot her a quick message telling her you’ll be at home waiting for her when she’s ready. This happened quite a few times and you knew she would go to her mother’s. This was confirmed an hour later when you got a text from Eli saying Alexia was with her and Alba. 

It didn’t hurt you that she went to them. Alexia was very close to her family and she was the one that helped her process her feelings or at least do so enough so that when she came to you she had some understanding of what was going on in her head.

You were sprawled out on the sofa under a blanket watching the latest series on Netflix when you heard the door open. 

“Y/N” Alexia called out for you. In her mind she wasn’t sure if you would be at home and if you wanted to see her. 

“In the living room” 

She stood in front of you like a school kid who knew they had been naughty. Alexia carried the weight of the team on her shoulders since you were off and it had been weighing her down at times. She never let anyone see this but with you it was obvious. You knew your girlfriend better than she knew herself.

“Come here” you opened your arms and Alexia buried herself under the blanket and into the crook of your neck. A couple of seconds pass and as they do her breathing evens out. The pressure did consume her at times and when that happened she just needed some time.

“I’m sorry I played so badly that you had to go against what the doctor said” This is what bothered Alexia the most. Sure losing against Real was infuriating but the fact that you, who wasn’t full fit, felt the need to play affected her more.

“Baby, that’s not it at all” your fingers trace lines up and down her spine “Madrid were targeting you and it was working. They aren’t a team that’s worth you getting a red card. You’re better than them, Ale”

“Why couldn’t I be on the pitch with you?” 

“Because as hard as you tried you wouldn’t be able to look at me as your team mate. You would look at me and see the girlfriend who you have been looking after for over a month”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. I always look at you and see my girlfriend because that’s what you are. Instead I had to watch from the bench as you ran yourself into the ground and you didn’t even do that much. You put the team before your own health and I don’t like that”

“Alexia” you wait until she looks at you “I’m ok. My chest is a little sore and the cough is still there but I’m ok. I’m no worse than when I stepped foot on that pitch”

It took you a couple of seconds but you saw it. There was something else going on in her head, something she wasn’t telling you.

“What is it? What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” You waited and hoped alexia would stay something only she didn’t “Please tell me” you said softly.

“I failed you today. This morning when we left the house I told you we would win and I told you I would score”

She did tell you these things as you sat at the kitchen table, Alexia finishing her breakfast whilst you sipped on your coffee.

“Can I ask you a question?” Your girlfriend nods slightly “Did you give it your all on that pitch?”

Alexia thinks about it for a second. Every play she made on the pitch ran through her head like a homemade movie. Every pass of the ball, touch at her feet and shot at goal or more so lack of shots on goal.

"It wasn't my best performance" She was defeated, not just in the game today but also in mentality.

"It wasn't the team's best performance Alexia. You might be the captain but you weren't the only player on that pitch" You were aware how hypocritical you sounded but in this very moment you didn't care.

The woman laying in your arms was quiet for a couple of moments. She knew you were right but she was never going to admit that. Her stubborness wouldn't let her. 

What you said next got her attention straight away.

"Besides that offside call was bullshit" you said with a smirk on your face.

"Por Dios! How was that offside? No one was anywhere close to being offside and definetley not Jana. She was miles off"

Alexia jumped to her feet and played the moment out right there and then in your living room. One minute she was her, the next Caro, Ewa and then Jana when she acts out the shot. You loved it when she talked football to you and her passion for the sport you both loved only made you love her more.

"See! Am I offside at any point?" She wasn't looking for an answer so her cutting you off before you can reply isn't a surprise "No, never, not a chance"

"No amor, none of you were" 

"We'll be better next week. We'll be back to our Barcelona, I promise you" Alexia got serious all of a sudden and you knew why. She never liked to lose and whilst you weren't out for long, every game you spend in the stands she told you that she played for you. In her eyes she failed to make you proud that and that meant she failed you. What Alexia didn't understand is that even in the worse losses she could never fail you.

[putellas14]

A Girlfriend for Christmas (Leila Ouahabi x Reader)

"Should I wear this one or this one?" you asked, holding up two dresses for your friend, Leila. Leila was laying on your bed, her phone in her hand, probably texting last night's hookup. 

She glanced up briefly, flicking her eyes over the dresses, before refocusing on her phone. "The blue one," she said. 

"Thank you," you muttered. Dropping the dresses on the bed, you pulled your sweats and shirt off, letting them fall on the ground. You shimmied the blue dress up over your hips and put your arms through the straps. You tapped Leila's foot to get her attention again. "Okay, how does this look?"

Leila looked up again. "Uh." Clearing her throat, she looked back down at her phone. "You look nice. Where are you going?"

"I didn't tell you?" You laughed to yourself. "I'm going to meet the girl I'm hiring to be my girlfriend for Christmas. Well, this will actually be the fourth girl I'm going to meet. Haven't had much success yet." 

"I'm sorry," Leila said, throwing her phone on the bed next to her and sitting up straighter, "what are you talking about?"

"I'm hiring a girlfriend."

"Why?"

"Because I can't spend another Christmas listening to my entire family ask me endless questions about my love life." 

"Why didn't you just ask me to come with you?" she asked. 

"I couldn't do that. They all know you. They'd never believe it." 

"Why not?"

"Well," you thought for a second, "you're my friend."

"Friends date all the time. We could be friends who date,” she said, matter of factly. 

“Be real, Leila. I need this to work. You’ve always been very anti-relationship. No one is going to believe that we’re together.” 

Leila rolled off the bed and moved to stand in front of you. She was standing so close your lips were nearly touching. She lifted her hand, caressing your cheek with the back of her fingers, letting her fingers slowly, tortuously, slide down your neck. 

You felt an incredible sense of deja vu before remembering you’d been in this position before. Once. In a dream. A few months after meeting Leila. And you had berated the crush out of yourself back then. 

When you involuntarily leaned into her, she patted your cheek and stepped back. “See? We can make people believe we’re into each other.”  

“Right.” You cleared your throat and brought yourself back to reality. This reality. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Plus, this girl is already waiting for me, so it’d be rude to turn her down without at least going to meet her.” 

“Okay.” Leila settled back in your bed with her phone.

“What’re you doing? I’m leaving.” 

“And I’ll be here waiting to hear all the deets when you get back. I have to know everything. You know your brother is going to call me as soon as you walk through the door with this girl. Be weird if I don’t know anything about her.” 

“Fine. Make yourself useful and feed Dot while I’m out then,” you said, referring to your old sweet black cat who only enjoyed interacting with you or Leila. 

The bar you’d chosen to meet at was just a block away from you. But somehow you were still late getting there. She was already sitting at a table in the corner, her blonde hair flowed like a halo in the dim spotlight. She was even more beautiful than in her photographs. 

And that turned out to be her best quality. She was a complete bore. She could barely hold a conversation, stumbling her way through most sentences, and never saying anything of substance. Your family would give you a bigger headache for showing up with her than if you just went home alone. 

She wasn’t going to work. At all. 

After two drinks, you politely ended the night, thanking her for her willingness to help but gently turning her down. You paid for her drinks to make up for turning her down. 

“So?” Leila asks, as soon as you walk in. She had migrated from your bed to your couch. Dot was curled up next to her, sleeping. 

“Remind me never to have ideas again. She was so boring. My family would hate her.” 

“You know who they love?” she asked, a cheeky grin on her face. 

You nearly shut her down again. But she was right. Your family did love Leila. She was their favorite of all your friends. Maybe it would be hard to convince them you were dating but at least they wouldn’t give you a hard time about picking a person who didn’t fit. 

“On one condition,” you heard yourself say. 

“Name it.” 

“No kissing on my lips.” 

“But how will we convince them then?” she asked, raising a single perfect eyebrow.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Ouahabi.” You crossed the living room, heading for your bed. “We leave at 8am tomorrow,” you called over your shoulder. “Don’t be late.” 

You had already bought the second train ticket, and it was simple enough to get the passenger’s name changed at the train station the next morning. The three of you (you, Leila, and Dot) settled in for the long ride down to Oxford. You dozed on and off, as was typical for you. At one point you woke to find yourself leaning on Leila’s shoulder. You apologized and sat straighter. She had just smiled in response and returned to her book. Dot slept peacefully in her carrier through the entire ride.

Your dad was waiting for you at the station, and he greeted you both with a huge hug before loading your bags into the car. You’d grown up there, both your parents being local primary school teachers. Your brother, James, had followed in their footsteps but was currently working towards his PhD so he could teach at university.

On the car ride home, you listened to Leila and your dad catch up with each other. Your family truly did enjoy Leila’s presence, which always warmed your heart. Thankfully, it seemed as though he had forgotten your text message letting them know you’d be coming home with your girlfriend for Christmas. God bless your dad and his forgetful nature. You were suddenly nervous about this whole ruse. 

As if Leila could sense it, likely from how quiet you were the entire ride, as your dad turned onto their road, she reached over and squeezed your hand. 

“Breathe,” she mouthed. 

And you did. Taking a few slow, deep breaths. It would be fine, you told yourself. This would all be fine. It was just a couple days. 

You could see your mom’s eyes get misty from the front door when she recognized Leila next to you. Clearly, she had not forgotten you were bringing home your “girlfriend.” 

She came down to the car so she could hug you tight as soon as you got out. “Hi, sweetie! How was the train?” 

“Hi, mom. Can’t. Breathe,” you managed. 

“Oh whoops.” She stepped back, loosening her grip on you and moving over to Leila. “Hello, Leila dear! Welcome!” She gave Leila as tight a hug as she gave you. “I think we have some catching up to do,” she said, looking over at me. Putting her arm around Leila’s shoulders, she guided her into the home. Leila looked over her shoulder at you as she went into the house and the panic on her face immediately calmed you down and brought pure amusement to you as you unloaded the bags and brought them into the house. You set down Dot's carrier by the front door and let her out. She immediately beelined for the sofa, her favorite place in this house.

From the front door, you caught a glimpse of the huge Christmas tree in the family room. There must have been at least a hundred ornaments hanging from the branches. Your mom (it was mom who loved Christmas the most) had garlands and decorations covering every available surface. She had always made home feel like something out of a winter Christmas fever dream. You loved it. It had always made you love Christmas so much. 

You wandered over to the Christmas tree, letting your eyes roam over all the ornaments and bows and lights. You had a small Christmas tree at the apartment in Manchester, but it was nothing like this. This was at least nine feet tall, nearly hitting the ceiling. It was plump and full and not at all like your artificial pre-lit tree. And it smelled absolutely glorious, straight out of a forest. 

You kept walking through, taking in all the little details. You could hear them all talking in the kitchen and slowly made your way back there, stopping to give Dot a few scratches behind the ears.

“Y/N!” Leila said, when you walked in. She reached out towards you, her eyes wide, and grabbed your forearm to bring you closer to her. “Perfect timing. Your parents were just asking when we started dating.” And now the wide-eyed look made much more sense. 

She was scared of them. 

Maybe this idea wasn’t so bad, after all, if it meant a few days of watching Leila squirm. 

“Oh. You didn’t want to tell them?” you asked, smirking. You leaned against the counter next to her. 

“I thought you might want to do that.” 

“Er right.” She looped a finger in your belt loop and dragged you closer to her, letting her arm rest around your waist. Even though this was fake, and you were both affectionate with each other, the move caused something to stir deep in your stomach. Swallowing the lump that was growing in your throat, you said, “Leila finally got off her ass and asked me out about three months ago.” 

“Three months!” your mom exploded. “Three months, she says, like it’s nothing.” Clearly, she was going to give you a pass on swearing given her fixation on your answer.  

“We didn’t want to tell you until we’d had time to give it a chance,” Leila answered, giving you a small smile.  

“Well, honey, we’re so glad you finally asked Y/n/N out. This means I win the bet,” she said in her husband’s direction. 

“What bet?” you asked. 

Before either could respond, the front door opened and you heard your brother yell out, “I’m here! Let’s get the eggnog flowing!” You move out of Leila’s grasp and run out into the front hall to give him a hug. It had been a couple months since you’d seen each other. Football season was always hard. 

“Hey kid, how you are doing?” James asked. 

No matter how old you got, James always called you kid. It had started as an insult when you were his annoying little sister and had morphed into a term of endearment as you’d gotten older. 

“I’m great. Merry Christmas.” 

“Leila? What the heck are you doing here?” he asked, spotting her over your shoulder. When he sidestepped you to give her a hug, you saw the huge grin on his face. You watched them embrace each other before he stepped back and put her in a headlock. It was like they had grown up as siblings, you thought with a shake of your head. 

"I told you I was bringing my girlfriend home for Christmas," you said, nonchalantly. Maybe too nonchalantly, by the look of shock on his face as his eyes met yours. He looked between you and Leila, still holding her in a headlock. "Can you let her go before you accidentally strangle her?" I reached out for Leila's hand as his arms slid limply from her neck. She linked her fingers with yours and allowed you to tug her over to you. "James, Leila is my girlfriend." 

"What do you mean?" he asked dumbly. 

"I know mom and dad explained how this works," you shot back. 

"But when? How? I mean, why?"

"Why? Well, I mean, look at her." You pressed a kiss to her cheek, feeling the heat flood her face under your lips. "And we were just answering those same questions for mom and dad. Three months ago. And she asked me out."

"Three months? That's like, that's so long ago!" 

"And now you're going to tell me what you know about this bet mom was just starting to say she won." 

"Uh. Nothing." He picked up his backpack again and started to walk away. "I know nothing." 

"Liar!" you yelled at his back. You looked down at your hand, fingers still tangled with Leila's. As you started to smile to yourself, you looked up at her face. She was standing still, no real expression on her face. "What?" No answer. You shook her hand, trying to get her attention. "Earth to Leila. Are you okay?" 

She shook her head and looked at you, seeming to be coming out of whatever had occupied her mind. "I'm great. Your mom said something about hot chocolate, let's go get some." She dropped your hand, walking back towards the kitchen. 

Your mom always went all out on the hot chocolate. There was whipped cream and marshmallows and little Christmas themed sprinkles and, of course, alcohol. A whole assortment of alcohol was now sitting on the counter, waiting for each person to take their pick. Per usual, you took vanilla vodka. She'd also set out some sandwiches. Once everyone was settled around the small kitchen table, you brought the conversation back to the bet.

"How much do you win in this bet, mom?"

"What bet?" dad asked, feigning innocence.

"The bet mom gleefully said she won after finding out how long I've been dating Leila."

The three of them at least had the humility to look sheepishly at each other before mom answered, "Fifty quid."

"And what did the rest of you bet?"

"That you'd eventually ask Leila out," your dad answered.

"That you'd die alone," James answered. Your dad slapped him over the back of his head. "Ouch."

"Be nice," your mom warned. He got up to top off his mug with whiskey and she reminded him that Mass was starting soon.

Shoot. You had forgotten to tell Leila that you'd be going to Christmas Eve Mass. "I have an outfit you can borrow, if you need," you whispered.

"Thanks," she whispered, covering it with her mug.

"So, girls," your dad said, "we know that Y/N's bedroom is a little small for the both of you." Oh, god, where was this going? "Mom and I talked about it, and we'd be okay if you both stayed in the guestroom, if you'd prefer."

You could tell this was as awkward for him as it was for you. Your room only had a single bed and although you had snuck girlfriends in and slept on that single bed with them, you weren't intending to share that bed tonight. You were temporarily taken aback by the offer because you assumed your parents would force you to sleep in separate rooms.

Leila reached over, squeezing your hand. "Y/N and I talked about it as well. And we're both quite comfortable being split up. Thank you very much for offering, though."

"Just so you know, there's a creaky board between the guest room and Y/N's room," James said. "I'll hear you if you sneak over."

Your dad hit him over the back of the head again. "Shut it, James." He turned back to you. "We want to make sure you're both comfortable."

"Thanks, dad," you said quietly. Leila squeezed your hand again and you looked over at her. She was giving you a soft smile. Of course, she knew how you were feeling. Overwhelmed and loved. You'd spent years in the closet, worried about upsetting everyone. It was easier to lean into the side of you that was attracted to men back then. To now have your parents be so welcoming to your "girlfriend" choked you up.

You were suddenly really glad you'd brought Leila along to play this role. It was somehow easier with someone you already knew. Having a total stranger sitting next to you right now would have made you feel really lonely.

Before you could dig too far into your feelings, your mom clapped her hands and said it was time to go get ready. Looking at the clock, you were shocked to find it was already so late. You took Leila up to your room first, so that she could see what options you had. No surprise to you, she took the only outfit with pants.

"What?" she asked when she saw you giggling in her direction. "My jacket will match it."

"I'm sure that's the reason." You picked one of the dresses up and held it up in front of you. Looking in the mirror, you checked to see if it would be long enough. Hmm, maybe not. You picked up another, checking for the same thing. Good enough. You pulled off your sweater to change and Leila stopped you.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what're you doing?" she asked, slapping her hand over her eyes.

"What? I changed in front of you last night. And I change in front of you all the time!"

"Yeah, but not in your parents' house." She turned away. Keeping her eyes closed, she reached her arm out and started feeling around, bumping into multiple items in your room.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm looking for the door."

"Then open your eyes!"

"No!"

"Ugh. Fine." You walked towards her. She was only a few inches off. Because of the way your furniture was set up, you had to angle your body sideways next to her to reach the knob. You could feel your chest pressed into her arm and held your breath, so your chest wouldn't move at all. God, you felt stupid. "The door is open," you muttered, stepping back. She fled as quickly as she could, keeping her eyes closed until she was in the hallway. Shaking your head, you closed the door again. You were half naked, after all.

You quickly got ready and went down to wait for everyone. The five of you squeezed into your dad's tiny ancient Renault for the short drive over to your local church. Your parents liked to attend Mass on important days of the year. Your brother had become more involved in the church as you'd gotten older, and he regularly attended Sunday Mass. You, on the other hand, had a more complicated relationship with religion. The church was a source of community, but it had also been a source of stress as a young queer kid. You were always still afraid walking through those doors that something negative was coming your way.

As if Leila could sense your apprehension, she closed her hand over yours as you walked in. It helped you feel more grounded. You went to Mass every year for your family but that had never made it easier. You had also never told them how you felt, only that you didn't connect with organized religion. But Leila knew. Leila knew everything about you. And she understood, without any additional words, what was going on in your mind at that moment. She kept your hand in her throughout most of the service, at some points drawing random patterns with her thumb.

The way she kept reading your mood today should have made you uncomfortable, but it just made you really glad to have her here. Although your family's consistent pestering of your love life was uncomfortable and annoying, it really wasn't anything compared to how lonely it made you feel. Their questions always reminded you that you were completely alone.

And Leila seemed to be on a mission to prove to you that you weren't alone.

The four of you had a quiet dinner in town at one of your favorite restaurants before heading home. It had been an early morning for you, and you said good night soon after you got home. Leila opted to stay up and hang out with James a while longer. And to your displeasure, Dot decided to stay curled on Leila's lap rather than coming up to bed with you. Leila and James both laughed when you pouted. Annoyed at them ganging up on you, you bent down to give Dot a kiss on the head and ignored them both.

As you walked away, you heard James say, "Ooo you're in trouble." You heard Leila respond but were too far away at that point to hear what she said. You were far more exhausted than you realized. Sleep took you as soon as your head hit the pillow, preventing you from overthinking what she could have said in response.

The next morning, you quickly showered, knowing Christmas day had a way of getting chaotic fast. You headed downstairs and found your parents cuddled on the couch, their cups of tea teetering precariously on the cushions next to them.

"Merry Christmas!" you said.

"Good morning. Merry Christmas, honey," your mom said.

"Merry Christmas!" your dad said at the same time.

"Do either of you want more tea?" you asked, pointing at their mugs. They both shook their heads, so you went to make your cup. While the water boiled, you took the moment to enjoy the quiet morning. You stared out the window, watching the birds fly from roof to roof. It was softly snowing outside, adding to the feeling of calm. The kettle started whistling, prompting you to remove it from the heat.

"Think I could get one of those too?" Leila asked from the doorway, startling you. You hadn't even heard her come in. You pulled another cup down and filled it. You put the kettle down and leaned against the counter to wait for the tea to steep. "Merry Christmas," she said quietly, remaining on the other side of the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas." You crossed your arms across your chest. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great. James and I stayed up pretty late and Dot kept me company after that."

"Not used to sleeping alone, Ouahabi?" you asked, raising an eyebrow, the amusement clear in your voice. Leila, on the other hand, scowled at you instead of laughing with you. "I meant that as a joke," you said sheepishly when she didn't respond. Feeling awkward, you checked the teas. The color looked okay, so you picked one up and handed it to Leila, leaving the other on the counter. "Milk?" Sometimes she took milk, sometimes she didn't. She shook her head. You poured a small amount into your cup and returned the carton to the fridge.

"What's the plan for the day?"

"Dad and I usually go for a walk, if you want to come. We'll leave from Gran's around 10:30 and we'll stay there until evening. We usually have like a late lunch type of deal there."

"Okay." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "How long is your walk? I'll have to shower before we go."

"Should be plenty of time. You should come. Get some fresh air before we're shut in with my relatives the rest of the day." You made a face at her, hoping to get a laugh out of her. When she at least smiled at you, you considered it a win. "Want to sit down?" you asked, gesturing towards where your parents were. She nodded and followed behind you.

"Good morning, Leila honey," your mom said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she said. She sat cross-legged on the floor, cradling her cup between her hands. The four of you sat quietly, listening to the crackle of the fire in the corner. Dot strolled in midway through your cup and nuzzled her face into your arm. You lifted your arm, letting her cuddle into your side. She collapsed against the side of your leg, and you let your hand gently rest on her back. "I guess she missed you after all," Leila said.

You smiled down at Dot, slowly moving your fingers against her fur. "Guess she did." You went back to silence, enjoying the addition of Dot's loud purring to the fireplace. "Oh, dad, Leila's going to come for a walk with us."

"Alright, great. Looks a little cold out there, so don't forget your coats, girls."

"Should we leave in about 10 minutes?" you asked. They both nodded in agreement. Your mom protested by snuggling further back into him.

"15 minutes," he said.

"Sure," you said with a big grin. Your parents had set too good of an example of what a relationship should be. They both genuinely enjoyed the company of the other. They worked together well as partners. They respected each other. They loved each other so fiercely. And nothing had changed after thirty years. If anything, their relationship was even better now. You let your eyes get a little misty, before turning your eyes downward to hide it from the room. If you had been looking anywhere else, you would have seen that you hadn't hidden anything from Leila.

The three of you set out twenty minutes later (your mom had protested again when dad tried to get up). It was still softly snowing, causing all of you to draw your hoods. It made it nearly impossible to hear anyone, which left the three of you walking in silence. You were glad for this walk. You knew the rest of the day would be loud and chaotic and stressful. This walk allowed you to hold onto the quiet of Christmas morning for as long as possible.

By the time you returned home, you were freezing cold, and a thin film of snow was stuck to the fur-lining of your hood. Leila laughed as some of it fell on your face. She removed her glove and lifted her hand to brush away the rest of it before it could fall on you. The heat rose to your cheeks, and you tried to tell yourself it was due to the blast of heat that had greeted you when you walked into the house.

While everyone showered and prepared last-minute gifts, you closed yourself in your room to hold onto those last few final moments alone. You had brought a red dress and tights for the day. The dress tucked in at your waist before flowing down to your mid-thigh. It was one of your favorite dresses, but you didn't often wear it because you thought the red was too bright for most occasions. Deciding to go forth with the boldness you were feeling, you painted your lips a deep red as well and carefully applied a thick layer of mascara.

"Y/N, come on!" James yelled. "It's time to go! What're you doing?"

Shocked, you looked at the clock next to your bed. You had no idea where the time had gone but you gave yourself one last look in the mirror, grabbed your coat and heels, and ran downstairs. "Sorry sorry. I wasn't watching the time." You sat down on the bottom of the steps to buckle your heels. "Okay, I'm ready."

"You look," Leila said when you stood. She let her eyes wander down you and back up to your face. "You look beautiful."

James hit her arm."Ew, dude. That's my sister."

"What?" she asked, hitting him back. "I've got eyes. Plus, she's my girlfriend. I'm allowed to, no I'm supposed to, compliment her and make her feel good!"

"She's right," your dad interrupted. "You should take notes, James, in case you ever convince anyone to date you."

"Ouch," he said, rubbing his chest.

"Alright, the lot of you," your mom said, "into the car. Let's go."

You sat quietly on the drive to Gran's while Leila and your parents talked about an upcoming trip to Morocco. You could tell Leila was in the zone. She loved talking about Morocco and giving recommendations to people who had never been there before.

There was almost no parking near her home, and you ended up having to walk quite a way in your heels, balancing the pot your mom had shoved into your hands. At one point, you had nearly slipped but Leila caught you around the waist with one hand and steadied the pot with her other hand. She kept her arm around you for the rest of the walk, making sure you stayed upright.

The rest of your family was already in the house, and they excitedly welcomed Leila in. Leila had been to family events and had met most people in the past. Your gran was probably more excited than your mom had been when you went over to say hello to her and introduce Leila as your girlfriend. She gripped both your and Leila's hand in her lap and cried, telling you both she had never seen such a beautiful couple and she was so happy to have Leila officially in the family. She was so emotional that you started getting choked up as well. When she let you both go, you leaned over and gave her an extra kiss on the cheek.

"Can I get you anything, Granny?"

"No, dear. Go have fun," she said, patting your hand.

"You want a drink?" you asked Leila. She nodded and offered her hand. You placed your hand in hers and pulled her behind you into the kitchen. Uncle Mark made the booziest egg nog every year. But there was also an assortment of other drinks your cousins had presumably brought. "Egg nog?" Leila nodded. You filled two cups and handed one to her.

"Going right in for the strong stuff?" Uncle Mark asked from the doorway.

"Always. You remember Leila, right?" He nodded. "She's my girlfriend now," you said with a smile.

"That's awesome. Well welcome. Today will be the real test of if you can put up with this family," he said with a deep belly laugh.

"Oh my god, stop," you mumbled into your cup.

"I'm just kidding. Kind of," he mumbled. "Anyways, Luke's upstairs. He's been waiting for you to get here."

Your youngest cousin, Luke, loved football almost as much as you did. It's his dream to follow in your footsteps and play professionally. He came to as many of your matches as his parents would allow him to. Leila went to mingle while you went up to find him. You found him in the spare room watching old plays on his phone.

"Y/N! Hi!" He jumped off the bed to hug you, nearly knocking his head against your chin. "When'd you get here?"

"Hi, bud. We just got here a few minutes ago. What're you watching?" That question unleashed something in him, and he explained how he was watching clips from MLS in America, and he was trying to analyze whether he agreed with the calls made or not. He had read online that the refs in MLS were some of the worst in the world and he wanted to decide for himself whether he agreed with that or not. So far, he agreed. After about twenty minutes of letting him walk you through every play and the calls, you asked him if he remembered your friend, Leila Ouahabi. He nodded, his cheeks suddenly turning pink.

"She's really pretty," he whispered.

"I agree," you whispered back. "She's downstairs if you want to go say hi." His eyes got wide. "Go say hi. I'm sure she'd love to talk about football with you." He grabbed your hand and pulled you along behind him.

You caught Leila's eyes from the top of the stairs, and you pointed, trying to tell her he was coming down for her. For the next twenty minutes, Leila got a full recap of what you had just heard upstairs. She kept asking him follow-up questions and you could tell he got even more excited every time she interrupted him. At some point you wandered away to refill your egg nog and talk to some other people.

As the afternoon wore on, you made your way around the room, spending time with each of your family members. You made sure to keep an eye on Leila and to periodically relieve her from any uncomfortable conversations. It was during one of these that it happened. Your brother and Uncle Mark had their grips in her, grilling her about her intentions with me. You had caught a snippet of it as you passed and abruptly halted, slipping your hand around her waist.

"That's probably enough of that for today, don't you think?" you asked them, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I don't think so," James said. You saw his eyes flicker up briefly but didn't think anything of it.

"We need to know what's happening, kid," Uncle Mark said.

"We'll tell you when there's something to know," you assured him.

"It seems you've found yourself fallen victim to Gran's mistletoe this year," your aunt said from the couch, just loud enough for everyone to hear. "Have to give her a kiss, Leila. Granny's house, Granny's rules."

"Oh. Um, no, we're good, Aunt Lydia," you said.

"Rules are rules," Gran yelled, banging the tip of her cane against the floor.

"Rules are rules," Leila said. In a whisper, she added, "Come on, just one kiss and they'll leave us alone." She turned into you, the arm around her waist involuntarily dropping a little lower. She moved your hair behind your shoulders with the tips of her fingers. "Sorry for breaking your rule," she said. Cupping your face in her hands, she laid a small kiss on your lips.

"A real kiss for couples!" Gran yelled out. "You're young and in love. Anyone can see that. But right now, you look like cousins saying hello."

"Gran," you grumbled.

"Can't disappoint her," Leila said. 

She brought your face close to her again, stopping when you were a hair’s breadth away. “Sorry for really breaking your rule,” she said. When you sucked in a deep breath, she closed her lips over yours. Your brain short circuited and your fingers reflexively dug into her waist. You ordered yourself to kiss her back. Couldn't have your family thinking you were shocked when your girlfriend kissed you. Her lips were unimaginably soft. When she touched her tongue to your lower lip, your heart dropped into your stomach.

As your hand came up to cup her cheek and bring her closer, she stepped back. Her face was flushed, and her lips were now tinged red from your lipstick. You reached your hand towards her to wipe it off, but her hand moved faster.

"Now that was much better," Gran said. "Good job, James."

You and Leila snapped your heads towards James. "James?" you growled. Normally it was Uncle Mark who helped Gran set up the house for Christmas and hid the mistletoe.

"James?" Leila asked, echoing you. But she sounded more hurt than anything. You looked back at her. She looked to be on the verge of tears.

"Leila, it's just a tradition," he tried to explain. He reached out towards her, and she backed away.

Confused by what was happening, you kept an arm around her for support. "Let's get a drink," you whispered to her.

"Yeah, anyone would need to cool down after that," one of your cousins yelled. You flipped him off as you led her away into the kitchen.

You grabbed two glasses and indicated towards the punch. She nodded. As you filled the cups, you said, "I'm sorry about that. I should've warned you about Granny's antics."

"It's alright, Y/N, I'm not upset about it."

You handed her one of the cups. "Are you sure?"

"Yup. Everything's fine." She sipped her punch, avoiding eye contact.

You didn't believe a word. That kiss had been fire, and you didn't think you were the only one still feeling it. You didn't feel "fine" and you were certain by Leila's reaction to James that something was wrong. "Okay, well. Um." Why did you feel awkward? "We can hide out in here for a few minutes but I'm sure someone else will be coming along soon to interrupt this momentary quiet space they've given us."

The two of you stood there in silence, sipping your drinks. You had never been at a loss for words with Leila before. You spent a lot of time in silence with each other, just hanging out, but it was never because either of you didn't know what to say.

Your thought was interrupted by Luke, wanting to ask Leila a question. She gave you a little smile. Lifting your hand, she pressed a little kiss to it before leaving with him to answer his questions.

You frowned down at your hand. There was a dull ache in your chest after that momentary glimpse of what it could be. That kiss had shifted something in you. Something you had buried a long time ago. You had tried so hard to suppress your feelings towards Leila. Pretending to be her girlfriend had to be one of your stupider ideas. Well, agreeing to pretend to be her girlfriend. Pretending at all was Leila's idea. You could curse her for that. 

For the rest of the afternoon, you tried to calm yourself down and remind yourself it was only until tomorrow. A few days of pretending and then you'd go back to being friends. In a few weeks, you'd call your parents and tell them it hadn't worked out. Maybe the pressure of being on the same team would cause a falling out. It wouldn't be the first time your football career had caused a problem in your dating life. You'd probably text your brother and he'd come to Manchester to take you out for a pint. He'd threaten to hurt Leila for hurting you and you'd calm him down and reassure him that it was you who had ended it. And by the next holiday, they would barely remember that you had brought home Leila this year. Your mom would barely remember saying "aw" every time you shared something cute about your "relationship." Your dad would barely remember bonding with Leila over his new power tools. And James would barely remember joking with Leila around the dinner table. 

Who were you kidding? Your family loved Leila almost more than you. They might never forgive you for "breaking up" with her.

You tried to engage in conversations with your family members and enjoy the holiday. But your eyes kept drifting back to Leila. And every time that happened, you grew a little sadder that this fake relationship was almost over.

During dinner, Leila sat down next to you. You ordered yourself to act happy and to not be awkward. You gave her smiles and casually touched her, as any couple would do. But you barely tasted your food. It went down like cement.

After dinner, your mom shooed everyone into the living room, saying that you and her would clean up. You worked in comfortable silence emptying food into containers while she washed the dishes. When you finished your task, you set to drying dishes so she'd have space for the steady stream of dishes she was still washing. 

"How are you doing? Really?" she asked. 

"I'm doing fine." 

"You just seem a little down is all."

Maybe you weren't fooling anyone after all. "I'm okay. Just a lot on my mind." This lie felt worse than the little lies you'd told all day. In the past, you would have talked to your mom if you were crushing on someone or you were struggling with someone. But you couldn't this time. Because if you did, they would all know that you were a liar. And that Leila had helped you lie to them. 

It was all feeling like too much. 

"It's just football stuff. Nothing to worry about." At least you were setting some context for your future break up story. 

"Okay," she said, not sounding at all convinced. After a few silent moments, she said, "I know we put a lot of pressure on you, but you can always talk to us. If you want."

"I know, mom. It's just football stuff," you said again. Thankfully, she let it go and you two continued to work in silence after that.

When you finished, you went to the living room to ask if anyone wanted tea. Everyone was now sitting around the fireplace, quietly talking. A few hands shot up. You quickly counted off how many you needed and went to the kitchen to boil the water. You arranged the cup and saucers on one of Gran's Christmas-themed trays.

As you took the tray around the room, you noticed both James and Leila were missing. You asked your dad if he'd seen them. He said they had gone out for a walk after dinner and hadn't come back yet. You glanced up at the clock. You'd finished dinner almost an hour ago. Looking out the window, you could see that it was still snowing outside. Frowning, you sat down next to him to sip your tea and wait for them while Simon read A Christmas Carol aloud.

They didn't come back for another half hour. Leila's eyes looked red, from the cold or from crying you couldn't tell. You raised your eyebrow at James, and he just smiled at you. He whispered something to Leila and then disappeared into the kitchen. She looked at you for a moment before coming to sit on the floor near you. You could feel her shivering and pulled the throw off the sofa to give her.

"Thank you." She took it and wrapped it tight around her.

"Why were you gone so long?" you whispered, still leaning down towards her.

"We were just talking."

"You okay?"

"Just tired. But I'm okay," she reassured. She squeezed your calf and gave you a half smile. "Ah, my prince," she said, lifting her hands when James walked in with two teacups.

"Anything for you, sis," he said with a wink. He sat down across from her on the floor, leaning back against the opposite sofa. The remainder of the evening, you kept catching them give each other looks. It was like they were having their own conversation, all without words, and all without anyone's input. You couldn't see Leila's face, but you could see her shoulders move every so often and see her shake her head.

Simon finished reading a little after 9pm. Everyone started moving, cleaning up the living room so Gran wouldn't be left with any mess. It took only 10 minutes with everyone's help. The end of A Christmas Carol always signaled the end of the night.

"Good night," you said, leaning over to give Gran a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, good night, sweetheart. Thank you for bringing your sweet girlfriend for Christmas."

"I know she enjoyed being here too." You gave her one more hug, but she tightened her arm around your neck before you could stand up.

"Don't let her go. She's a special girl."

You couldn't say anything, tears caught in your throat. Instead, you smiled at her and nodded as you stood up straight.

The drive home felt endless, squished between your brother and Leila. Your earlier sadness at this charade ending tomorrow had morphed into desperation for it to end. When you got to the house, you helped unload the car before quickly saying good night and escaping to your room. You scooped up Dot on your way up. You needed the comfort of your pet tonight. Hot tears burned your eyes and soaked your pillow for the guilt of having put your family through this. Why had you ever thought this was the answer? Why had you ever agreed to let Leila come here? Dot snuggled into your side, and you kissed the top of her head, glad she wasn't protesting not being allowed to sleep in another room.

You don't know what time you eventually went to bed, but you know you were still crying when sleep took you.

In the morning, you quietly packed your bags before going down. The train was not until 11am. Your mom had promised to make a nice breakfast before you left. Figuring you should help with that, you dressed quickly and went downstairs.

"Good morning," your dad greeted. He was coming in from outside, shaking snow off his boots.

"Good morning, dad." You walked through to the kitchen. "Hi, mom."

"Ah you're up. Good morning." She stood at the counter, cutting onions.

"What can I help with?"

"Actually, do you mind going out to the garden? Leila asked me to have you come out when you woke up. She's been out there a while now."

"Oh. Um, okay." You didn't think you were prepared for this just yet. But they were both looking at you, waiting for you to move. "Right. Okay, I'll just grab my coat." You took your time getting your coat and shoes on.

You found her sitting on the garden wall. She looked really cold. The tip of her nose was red. She was frantically rubbing her hands together. "Leila?" She looked up at you. "Maybe we should talk inside? It'll be warmer."

"No. No, I don’t want anyone to hear this conversation."

"Okay." You stayed where you were, not sure if she wanted you to sit down or even move closer. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I've been thinking."

"I can see that."

"Just let me finish. I won't be able to finish if you talk in the middle." She nervously rubbed her hands over her thighs. "I don't have perfect words. I'm not really like poetic or whatever."

"What-"

"No. Wait. Look, these last couple days have been great. But I didn't think they would affect me as much as they have."

"What-"

"Shut up." She looked up at you. "I need to tell you that I'm yours. Have been for a while, if I'm being completely honest. I don't know if you want me. But I belong to you. I'm yours, if you want me."

You stood there, unmoving, staring at her, your jaw slack in astonishment. Your breath was coming out in little streams of fog.

"Now you're going to stand mute? You're stolen my heart, Y/N, the least you can do is tell me what you intend to do with it."

You'd never believed that hearts actually skipped a beat in moments like these but there was no other way to describe what was happening in your chest. Taking a few large steps towards her, you grabbed her lapel to bring her face closer to yours and kissed her. Your grip on her softened as she slowly stood, never breaking contact with you. Your hands moved up her neck so you could wrap your arms around her.

"Okay I'll take that as a response," she said, her eyes still closed.

Giggling, you kissed her again.

"Hmm. Yes. I'll definitely take that." She opened her eyes to look at you, her arms staying around your waist. "Do you. Um. Wait, will you be my real girlfriend?"

"I think I could manage that." You smiled brightly, playing with the hair on the back of her neck. "What're we going to tell my parents?"

"I think they already know," she said, pointing over your shoulder at the house. You turned to see the three of them squeezed together to see out the tiny side window. Your dad awkwardly waived while your brother just grinned, and your mom wiped a tear from her eye.

"How did they?"

"James figured it out the first night."

"Of course he did." You turned back to her. "Let's go inside, you're freezing." You took her hand in yours and pulled her towards the front of the house. This time when you walked in the door, you went as real girlfriends, instead of fake girlfriends. Your heart was at the fullest it had been in years.

Your mom was still crying as she rushed towards both of you, pulling you both into a hug. "Oh, my sweet girls!" She kissed the side of both of your heads. "I'm just so so happy for both of you."

"Thanks, mom," you said, hugging her back.

"Go, get warm," she said, stepping back and wiping more tears from her eyes. "Breakfast will be ready soon."

You took her to the living room, to the couch in front of the fire. Sitting down, you pulled her down with you and covered her with a blanket. The chill hadn't yet hit your bones, like it had Leila. You wrapped your arms around her to hold her close and transfer as much of your heat to her as you could.

"What're we going to tell the girls on Monday?" she asked.

"We'll just be honest."

"That I pretended to be your fake girlfriend because I thought it'd be the closet I got to being your real girlfriend and then your idiot brother played antics to actually make it real?"

"Maybe we can leave a few things out." She shivered again and you brought the blanket up more tightly around her. "How long were you out there?"

"Like an hour."

"Leila!"

"Girls, breakfast is ready," your dad called out.

When Leila stood up, you took off your jumper and gave it to her. "Wear this. It'll help." She pulled it over her head, and you straightened it when it got caught in her long sleeve shirt.

"Thanks."

Your mom had put together a full English breakfast. It wasn't typical that she made it all at once but during the holidays, especially on travel days, she liked to make sure everyone had enough food in their bellies. As everyone ate, you looked around the table. There was laughter and talking over each other. There was love and friendship. There was everything you'd ever wanted at this table. You'd never felt incomplete but somehow in this moment, you felt whole. Nothing really made sense to you either.

"Does this mean mom still wins the bet?" your dad asked.

"You can split it," you answered. "Just as long as James loses," you added with a huge smile.

"Hey, you would've ended up alone if I hadn't meddled," he said.

"Oh great. Now he's going to have a big head about that."

"You'll be too busy in your little love bubble to even notice how big my head is about to get," he retorted.

"Are they fighting or saying nice things?" Leila asked your mom.

"A little of both."

James ended up paying both your parents £50, although mom insisted she had won because Leila had asked to be your fake girlfriend and had been the first to say how she felt. But dad wasn't having it.

They dropped you at the train station, promising to come watch a match and visit soon. The train ride to Manchester was similar to the ride home for Christmas. Leila read while you and Dot slept. Except this time, she lifted the arm rest between you and opened her arm to let you more comfortably sleep on her shoulder. You slept peacefully all the way home to Manchester, cuddled into her side.

[wordsbyrian]

Short: Lego and Lunches - Alexia x Reader

Summary: R and her neice (from Good with Kids) spend the day together building lego and making a mess

A/N: I forgot I wrote this but I post at the whim of a german child

Another day off, another day spent with your niece.

Although today's adventures in babysitting were a lot more short notice than the rest usually are. You were supposed to spend the day doing media but you had gotten your manager to reschedule them because you could honestly think of no worse way to spend your time than talking to strangers.

So instead you and Valeria are sitting in the office of your apartment building lego sets.

Well, you're building the latest millennium falcon set, and she’s playing with some extra pieces that you had in a bucket.

The two of you had made some lego flowers for your girlfriend earlier but the 5 year old had quickly gotten sick of having to follow the step by step instructions.

There’s music playing softly in the background and every now and again you hear Vali mumble something to herself, completely immersed in her make believe game.

You’re not sure exactly how much time passes but eventually you realize that you should probably feed the kid before her parents accuse you of starving her.

“Pulguita,” you call out, not looking up from the pieces in front of you. “What do you want to eat?”

“Tortillas.”

“Tortillas?”

“Si.”

“Just tortillas?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Ok well that’s not happening so let’s head to the kitchen to see what we can make using tortillas,” you tell her finally standing up, groaning as you stretch out.

“Alright.”

In the kitchen, the task isn’t as easy as you made it seem because the kid shoots down every option you give her. All the semi-helthy ones that is because slathering the tortilla in Nutella is apparently the way to the kindergartener’s heart.

And maybe your’s too because the three you eat are totally worth the lecture you’ll get during your next meeting with the team’s nutritionist.

All in all, you’d considered lunch is a success but the clean up however is not something you thought about going into it. Because now your looking around at your kitchen afraid of what your girlfriend will say when she comes home.

Then there’s the Valeria of it all.

The kid has somehow managed to completely cover her face and hands, as well as part of her shirt in the chocolate spread.

It’s a mess.

But before you even have a chance to force Valeria to scrub the evidence from her body, Alexia returns and sends you a glare that makes you think, ‘no, it was not worth it at all.’

“Seriously,” she asks, stepping into the space and seeing the chocolate smeared on the counter.

“Uh,” you say, holding your hands up in a way that’s supposed to show your innocence but instead shows the evidence on your own hands. “We had fruit too?”

The glare you get in return let’s you know that she is not impressed but before you can even formulate words to help your case, Valeria does it for you.

“Hola Ale.”

“Hola nena,” she says, turning to smile at the kid. “Did you have a good time today?”

“Yea! We watched Barbie and played Lego and ate Nutella tortillas!”

“Sounds like a very full day,” Alexia says, while helping Valeria get off the stool. “Why don’t you tell me more about it while we get you cleaned up?”

Valeria easily agrees to this and is headed down the hallway to the bathroom leaving you staring at the very annoyed expression of your girlfriend.

“Clean this up.”

“Amor, I,” she cuts you off.

“Now, Y/N,” she says before rushing down the hall when she hears the faucet turn on in the bathroom.

"Hi babe, how was your day? Great thanks for asking," you grumble mockingly as you watch her walk away.

"I heard that!"

"No you didn't!"

[women-are-hot]

INSTAGRAM LIVE • A. PUTELLAS

request: “I can ask that the reader and Alex do a live together and Alexia looks at the reader with loving eyes and answers questions together all with cuteness.”

pairings: alexia putellas x fem!reader.

genre: pure fluff.

word count: 1.3k

warnings: just alexia and you being so in love that it makes fans sick lol.

note: this was in my drafts, so decided to edit it and post it for y’all. hope you like the small surprise fic <3

you were just casually laying with your head on alexia’s lap while she ran her fingers through your hair. it was your favorite thing to do when you had time. laying with your girlfriend and her running her fingers through your hair.

just when you had fallen asleep, alexia decided to wake you up by caressing your cheek. “mi amor” she whispered, but enough for you to hear. you hummed a ‘yes’ into her stomach, wanting her to continue running her fingers through your hair.

��should we go live on my instagram?” alexia asked you, making you rub your eyes and sit up on the couch beside alexia with your head still on her shoulder. “do you even know what you’re talking about la reina?” you teased her which earned you a light flick by her finger on your forehead.

you fake gasped, but the gasp was quickly wiped away when alexia kissed your forehead, then your nose and lastly, a passionate kiss on your lips. “you’re forgiven” you said with a smile.

“yeah, i know” alexia responded with a cheeky smile, making you roll your eyes at her.

“anyway, should we go live on instagram?” alexia asked, repeating her question. “si. it would be fun, but i won’t help you with anything. you have to figure it out yourself” you answered, trying not to laugh as you knew alexia wasn’t the best at instagram yet even if she tried a lot, especially after getting so many followers. 

“mi amor-” alexia started complaining, but you responded with a simple ‘no’. after more complaints from your girlfriend, you two agreed that if she made everything a very big disaster, you would eventually help her.  

alexia also decided that she should do a quick story before going live, so her fans would be ready to watch the two of you and send questions. “i want you to be in it too” alexia said and literally took her arm around your waist, dragging you into her without any warning, but you couldn’t complain as she started the video. 

“hola everyone. y/n and i are going live here on instagram in a few minutes, so we hope y’all will come and ask us questions and hang out. adios, see you soon!” alexia announced while you just stared at her with a big smile. what did you do to deserve her?

“you’re so cute!” you mumbled into her shoulder, still with a big smile on your face. “qué? why?” alexia asked, worried that she said something wrong as english isn’t her first language. 

“calm down babe. you didn’t say anything wrong. you just sounded so cute while talking english in your hot spanish accent” you answered as you tried to cheer up your worried girlfriend. she always get so worried about saying something wrong in english. 

“my hot spanish accent?” alexia mumbled confused at you. you just gave her your usually cute little smile with a simple nod. “you really think my accent is hot?” alexia asked as if she was surprised.

“ale, everything about you is hot” you answered in a low voice, failing to keep a shy smile off your face. alexia’s confused look was now replaced with a smirk, looking you right in the eyes, almost making you weak.

“is that so?” alexia asked while you just nodded as you looked down at your feet, feeling alexia’s eyes burn through you. alexia then took her finger under your chin, making you look back up at her. 

she then smashed her lips into your in a slow and passionate kiss. just as you had started kissing her back, she stopped kissing you and walked away. “what the- ale, where are you going?” you yelled at her. 

“i’m just going to make us some iced coffees before we go live. that is okay right miss y/l?” alexia asked in a teasing tone while you just huffed at her with an annoyed face, sitting down on the couch with your phone, posting alexia’s story on your profile. 

after eight minutes, alexia was back with two iced coffees and ready to go live. she opened her phone and started the live with 35,000 people already watching. alexia just somehow didn’t know that. 

“do i have something in my teeth?” alexia asked, putting her face close to the camera, finally making you crack a big laugh. “why’re you laughing?” she asked and after wiping your tears from your laughs, you answered her. “do you know that 35.000 people just heard and saw that?” 

“huh? are we already live?” alexia asked. you just slightly nodded, before going into another laughing attack full of tears. “why didn’t you tell me, idiota?” she mumbled with a frown.

“i told you that you had to figure all of this out yourself” you said with a big smile. “you’re annoying” she said. “but you love me” you responded with an even bigger smile that even alexia couldn’t resist as she started to smile herself a bit.

“i really don’t know anymore to be honest” alexia mumbled, but you could still hear it, making you hit her shoulder. “woahhh. that hurt so much” alexia said in sarcasm while you just rolled your eyes at her.

“save that for later mi amor” alexia whispered into your ear, making you blush a bit, but enough for the fans to see it.

@ alexia4ever - what did alexia just say to make y/n blush like that?

@ putellasluv11 - you guys are really making me feel so single

@ aleandynschild - cutest couple ever! literally my parents!

“alright, we thought we could answer some questions, so ask a few things and we’ll try to answer as best as we can” alexia explained with a tomato colored head beside her. then questions started flowing in.

“what’s the best thing about living and playing in barca?” alexia readed out loud. “you should answer that, amor” alexia said, putting her arm around your shoulder, pulling you even closer.

“well, there’s quite a few things, but first of all, the sunny weather is amazing, especially when you come from Sweden or the nordic countries in general” you started while alexia chuckled a bit at you and looked at you with what the fans called ‘heart eyes’.

“of course there’s more than amazing weather! barcelona has always been my dream club to play for as my parents always cheered for them, making me a fan automatically. so when i got the offer to play for barca, i was so excited and of course couldn’t say no to such a big offer. the club just means so much to me and i’m so grateful for all of my teammates that i get to call my friends. and of course, there’s la reina de barca, alexia putellas. my best friend and other half” you rambled, leaning into alexia during the last sentence. 

“so yeah, basically everything about living and playing in barca is the best thing” you added, looking up at your girlfriend as she always looked down at you with a big smile. “am i talking too much?” you asked her. 

“no. tu respuesta fue perfecta, mi amor” alexia answered, taking some of your hair behind your hair, giving your head a kiss, making fans feel very single again. after that little sweet moment, the two of you went back to answering questions for about an hour and a half while making fans awe over your relationship.

@ ynputellas0 - the way y/n was talking about barca and alexia was so cute, i can’t

@ alexiabiggestfan - alexia is being a romantic girlfriend ulalalala

@ lareinaaayn - i’m literally so in love with both of them

@ alelovesyn - alexia’s heart eyes for y/n are just so cute. i want what they have!

[totaly-obsessed]

Ona Batlle Appreciation pt.3

Request a player | with @alotofpockets

[yourwosogirly]

Broken Hearts, Healing souls - Mapi Leon

Based off this request

Word count: 2k

The door unlocked, followed by keys placed in a bowl and shoes being taken off but it didn���t make me turn my head .

“how was the party?”i asked bitterly, finally speaking up and turning towards my girlfriend. For now.

“It was good”she swallowed uncomfortably, feeling the tension in the room, but not knowing what it was from.

she could clearly tell I was upset though as normally when she would arrive home I would jump straight in her arms, showering her with kisses.

but it didn’t look like that was going to be happening anytime soon.before anything could be said I shoved my phone in her face .

“what’s this?”i ask sternly as she sucked in a breath.it was a picture alexia had taken at the party mapi had been at and while it looked pretty normal you could clearly see in the back mapi snogging a girl with red hair .

I was a brunette.

now I was very aware of mapi’s dating history which had scared me sometimes with insecurity knowing she would jump from one girl to the next after getting bored, but I was reassured I was different.but clearly I was only different because she thought she could jump to one girl to the next while we’re together .

“did you cheat on me?”i whisper looking up at her .

“y/n..”she mumbled and I stood up abruptly and my heels clicked against the floor as I walked closer to her .

“no, mapi it’s a simple question.did you cheat on me”I asked sternly taking a pause between each word .

“yes”she looked down at the ground full of guilt as I gasped taking a step back. I was expecting it, of course but hearing it was come out of her mouth was a different story.

I was baffled to say the least, I had no idea what to say, I couldn’t even look her eyes.this certainly wasn’t the woman, I thought she was and fell in love with .

“why?….why would you do this?to me?”i ask her, my voice cracking.her eyes flooded with tears, heart breaking from the pain in my voice.

“because…”

“because what, mapi”I cut her off sharply and she sucked in a breath.

“I don’t fucking love you, okay?!”She let out and I stopped for a moment, my body feeling frozen but in a numb way before I exploded .

“Get out!Get out!Get out!GET THE FUCK OUT!”

4 years later….

I let out a shaking breathe as I stood outside the training centre with the Barcelona crest shining on the side of it .My hands shook with nerves while I kept taking deep breaths whispering, “you can do this”,over and over .

Transferring to Barcelona wasn’t one of my plans but despite all the nerves moving clubs gave me a specific one stuck in the back of my mind making me shudder .

More like a specific someone.

“hi y/n, you okay?”i opened my eyes to seeing Jonatan Giráldez, my new coach standing in front of me .

“yes, I’m fine”lie. I put on a fake smile which he seemed to be convinced by as he nodded his head slowly at me .

“alright, cmon then, gotta get ready for your first training session”he chuckled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“alright girls, this is y/n”Jonatan said, introducing me to the team before he sent me off to go join them .I was overwhelmed slightly as all the girl surrounded me, introducing their names all at once which I certainly wouldn’t remember.

“hi y/n”mapi said i internally rolled my eyes, I couldn’t believe she was doing this right now. I couldn’t be arsed to have to deal with her.I pretty much ignored her though, only giving her a smile as we started some drills and despite everything happening, god was on my side and I luckily wasn’t paired up with mapi.

“hey, you okay?”marta whispered to me with a curious smile as she was stood next to me.my eyes were burning into the back of mapi’s head as I watched her .

I knew I technically in this moment she hadn’t done anything wrong yet. She just made me unbelievably angry for no reason at all but the girl did cheat on me .I tried to pick out all the things she did that disgusted me but they were all lies.she just looked so undeniably gorgeous.

“yeah, I’m fine”i said focusing my gaze away from the fake blonde. stop it, y/n you can’t go back there.

I caught mapi’s eyes from across the pitch which caused me to shudder. she smiled at me though, unexpectedly but I turned away making her smile falter as I passed the ball back to Laia.

••••

I sat in the corner of the locker room, my eyes closed as I silently cried and hugged my knees against the chest.

training had been over and done with and as well as it went and I couldn’t wait to have my debut for this team, my heart hurt, more than ever .

I was convinced pretty much everyone had gone home by now, if someone was here they would’ve came in by now and the locker room was pretty much empty.

suddenly I heard footstep but I ignored them, resting my head against my knees until I felt a hand tapping my shoulder and sitting down into the spot next to me .

“hey, you okay?”the voice made me freeze up. I knew that voice all too well.

“why do you want?”I looked up at her and her eyes widened seeing my blotchy and blood shot, red eyes.

“please y/n, just tell me what’s wrong, I know I hurt you but I still care for you”she said with a sympathetic gaze directed at me .

I sighed, leaning my head back against the wall behind me. “I hate it here”i mumbled .

“no you don’t”she dismissed and I raised an eyebrow at her .

“how would you know?”I asked her with a bit of sass laced in my voice .

“y/n please, I dated you for four years, I know what your like and I was watching you today, believe it or not and you didn’t look like you hated it, you fit in with the team really well”i sighed in frustration, rubbing my hands against my face .

“what’s really going on?”she asked placing her hand on my shoulder before I pushed it off, turning to her .

“I hate it because you are here!”i exclaimed, now being nose to nose with her .

“I-I don’t understand”she shook her head confused and I groaned .

“well learn to maps, I had buried my feelings for you so hard in my heart when we broke up because you hurt me so much yet I’ve never loved anyone that much and seeing you here today, four years later, I fell in love all over again and I don’t think I can do it”i shook my head, wanting to scream into my pillow and cry.

“oh y/n”mapi leaned down and for some reason I didn’t recognise the look on her face as she cupped my cheeks .

“please don’t touch me, mapi”I flinched, forcing myself to look away from her .

“y/n I”she started but I cut her off.

“no, mapi, I can’t do this, if I keep looking in your eye I will fall in love all over again and I can’t go through that, it’s too painful”i turned my head to the side and biting my lip, to stop myself from bursting into tears.

“y/n, I’ll never hurt you again, I promise you”she said grabbing my chin again, and I let her this time.

“how do I know that?”I asked naïvely .

“because y/n, I still love you”she confessed and I closed my eyes shut in fear.

when I didn’t respond she carried on. “it’s true and you might hate me even more but I don’t care, you need to know. All the girls?their nothing compared to you.nothing.I’ve never liked any of them the way I love you”.

“mapi”she knew I still wasn’t convinced.

“y/n, I’m not asking you to get back with me and sleep next to me tonight all I’m asking is for a second chance, it was four years ago, I’ve changed which may be hard to believe but I want to get you to earn my trust again”I was slowly easing to her way but I still wasn’t sure.

“I don’t know, mapi”I shook my head but she didn’t seem to be giving up.

“mi amore, please? just take it one step at a time yeah? and in the end you can choose alright? so how about coffee?tomorrow?”she asked with a hopeful.

“y-yeah, I can do coffee”i nodded making her smile .

“Perfect. I’ll drive us there after training okay?that sound good?”she asked and I nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow y/n”she was careful as she pulled me into a small hug, kiss my forehead and leaving the room after picking up her stuff.

••••

“hi y/n, you alright?”mapi asked me as we met up outside the car park and I nodded silently adjusting my kit bag on my shoulder.

“great, let’s go, if your ready of course?”she asked as I nodded again, she was still very wary of me.

“yeah, I’m ready” I whispered as we headed to her car and she drove to the cafe. the whole car ride was silent with me leaning my head against the window, the radio on as Mapi drove to the cafe she was familiar with, which didn’t take too long to get here.

once we had arrived, she quickly opened the door and got out of the car but as I moved to do the same, in a flash, she was there opening the door.

“for the lady”she smirked and I got out chuckling shyly. I muttered a small thank you as we headed towards the cafe.

The bell rang as we entered the cafe a few heads turning toward us which we didn’t mind our business with.

“Is this okay?”she asked, pointing to the small two people's table in front of the window.

“yeah, this is fine” I said sliding into my seat.

“Okay, I’ll go order for us what would you like?” she asked me, leaning against the table.

“umm, cappuccino please” I smiled and she nodded walking to the counter to order our drinks.

I sighed as I watched her walk away, god I hated her I mean hated her .I hated the way she walked, the way she talked, the way she dressed today, how she looked, why did she have to look so beautiful and most of all I hated the way she looked putting the heart she broke back together with her kind gestures.

“here you go”I was brought out of my trance with my cappuccino plane in front of me. mapi sat down opposite me and sipped on her green tea.

“you okay?”she asked and I nodded, sipping on my hot drink after blowing on it to lower the temperature.

“I’m fine” I mumbled, placing my cup down on the table.

“Can I?”she asked apprehensively as she reached to grab my hands. I nodded slowly as she took them on her own.

“y/n, I just wanted to say, I’m really sorry for what I did and I will never stop apologising because to be honest I’m lucky you're giving me this chance cause I don’t deserve it but I have to try, cause I never stop thinking about you,” she said breathlessly.

“mapi, hey, you did hurt me a lot, but I’m not closing this off, I can see you actually care and that your putting effort in” I reassure her cupping her cheeks and she leaned into my hands.

“really?”she whispered and I nodded with a smile, it was the first time I had smiled around her in a long time.

“yeah, I’m not saying you're forgiven but this is the start of a new us and trust me I would’ve said no if there weren’t feelings still there.

“Okay, yeah I understand, but just know this is gonna work y/n, I know it, I’m gonna fight for us” she stoked my cheek making me smile.

“so wanna go back to my place?”she said cheekily as we stood up wrapping her arm around me.

“Hey, don’t be too pushy now” I smiled making her laugh as we walked out of the coffee shop with my head on her chest.

It was the start of something new.

Two fics in one day?me?never

[katelynnwrites]

It Hits Different (‘Cause It’s You) | Ona Batlle

warnings: none

word count: 815

summary: ona’s fingers are cold, like really really cold

a/n: a short something in honor of ona’s first world cup game where she probably froze while playing and i definitely froze at melbourne’s fifa fan festival while watching her play

New Zealand is cold. New Zealand in winter is cold and rainy.

Those are the first few thoughts you had as soon as your plane landed and you stepped out onto the pitch for your first training session in the host country itself.

Now, as you walk onto the pitch Spain would be playing their first World Cup game on, those thoughts are not gone but rather pushed to the back of your mind in favour of one other thought. You are going to be playing in your first World Cup game.

A hand slips into yours, bringing you out of your head.

‘Hola mi amor.’ You murmur.

‘Hi.’ Ona smiles at you, bringing your joined hands up to her lips so that she can press a kiss onto the back of your hand.

You give your girlfriend a kiss on her cheek in return.

‘Ready?’ She asks.

‘I was born ready.’ You answer, eliciting a giggle from the brunette.

Holding her hand in yours even as you move towards the gathering group of Spanish players, you realise how cold it is beginning to feel.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to put a pair of gloves on Oni? It’s 9 degrees and you’re definitely going to be freezing.’

Ona shakes her head, mumbling about how she doesn’t like the feel of gloves.

You sigh and let it go.

******

Your girlfriend pushes her hands into your lap, silently pleading with wide brown eyes for you to warm them up for her.

You do so immediately, blowing on them before rubbing each of her hands between yours. Your own hands that are warm thanks to the gloves you had worn during the warm up.

‘Ona mi amor, put a pair of gloves on before the game.’

‘I don’t need gloves, I have you.’ The fullback cheekily answers.

You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to Vilda who is going through some last minute tactics for the upcoming game against Costa Rica.

******

At half time, Ona doesn’t have to ask you to warm her hands up for her.

You do so immediately, pulling her shivering form into your side and covering her hands with yours. Her hands are white with how cold they are and you press a discreet kiss onto the shell of her ear.

Subtly, you push a pair of gloves towards her but your girl is far too distracted by how cold she is feeling.

‘Stupid rain.’ Ona complains and Aitana laughs from where she’s sitting, next to the both of you.

******

‘Ona!’ You gasp.

You don’t push her away only because you know that it’s your girlfriend’s touch.

When you turn around, you’re met with Ona’s grin.

It seems that despite having been subbed off a few minutes before the whistle had blown, your girlfriend hadn’t quite been able to warm up on the bench.

She slips her too cold hands up a little further under your soaked jersey with a soft laugh.

‘Mi amor. Your hands are f-freezing.’

‘I know.’ Ona giggles.

‘I really should have worn gloves.’ She adds.

‘Mhm.’

You’re barely able to fight the urge to wriggle away from your girlfriend and her frozen hands as she takes advantage of your body’s warmth.

‘I love you.’ She says, her voice quiet but filled with adoration when she realises that despite how cold her hands are, you are willing to let her warm them up with your body heat.

‘I love you too. But I can love you while you warm up in the shower.’

Gently, you tug her into the showers and away from Vilda’s prying eyes, where you press a flurry of kisses onto your girlfriend’s face.

Ona hums, stroking the skin on your waist with her thumb.

Wholeheartedly, you tell her, ‘You played so well today. Bagged an assist too, superstar.’

‘I’m not so sure about superstar, I was just trying my best for this team.’ Ona murmurs, a bright pink blush colouring her cheeks.

She’s too cute you think.

‘Ona.’

‘Yes?’

‘You’re a superstar.’ Your tone leaves no room for argument, making even the tips of Ona’s ears flush as she hears your praise.

‘Okay.’ She accepts shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

‘Maybe my superstar can wear gloves for the next game? So that she wouldn’t need to use me as her personal heater?’

‘But I really like having you as my personal heater.’ Your girlfriend pouts.

‘You can always use me as your personal heater but please mi amor, wear a pair of gloves okay?’

‘Okay.’ She concedes and you smile.

‘Thank you love.’

Leaving her with an affectionate and grateful kiss pressed onto the corner of her mouth, you back out of the shower stall before any staff member can catch you.

Further PDA with your favourite person can wait till you’re both back at the hotel.

Spanish Translation:

hola mi amor - hello my love

[moonlight-alexia]

we were happy: alexia's birthday ˏˋ°•*⁀ alexia x mccabe!reader, social media

happy birthday to our favourite awkward and endearing capi <3 adored by so many <3

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

liked by katie_mccabe11, alexiaputellas and 97,980 others y/nmccabe para mi persona favorita, feliz cumpleaños 🎂 alexia, cariño, you deserve the world and so much more. i am so proud of you everyday and i can't wait to spend more years celebrating you ❤️mi niña perfecta, te amo ❤️ tagged: alexiaputellas

alexiaputellas gracias, mi amor x te amo ❤️ ↳ y/nmccabe forever and always ❤️ ↳ alexiaputellas sí, mi vida, always ❤️

marialeonn16 bit soft, no? ↳ y/nmccabe ale deserves it ↳ marialeonn16 ehhhh 🙄😏 ↳ alexiaputellas you're just jealous

katie_mccabe11 so loved up its sickening 🤢😚 ↳ y/nmccabe are you always so annoying? ↳ katie_mccabe11 as your older sister it's my right ↳ y/nmccabe 🙄

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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alexiaputellas just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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alexiaputellas just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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alexiaputellas just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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alexiaputellas just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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alexiaputellas just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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liked by y/nmccabe, marialeonn16 and 105,896 others alexiaputellas cumpleaños perfecto con mi persona favorita. gracias, mi amor, for everything today and everyday and for just being you. eres mi complemento perfecto ❤️ tagged: y/nmccabe

y/nmccabe anything for you ale. another year older but still as perfect as ever ❤️ ↳ alexiaputellas what did i do to deserve you ❤️ ↳ y/nmccabe just being you, Is grá liom thú❤️

-- author has limited comments on this post --

[pitchsidestories]

set fire to the rain II Alexia Putellas x Reader

romantic masterlist | platonic masterlist | previous fanfic I word count: 1200

summary: After the loss in El Clásico, Reader decides to teach Alexia how to make her own bowl, offering her a much-needed distraction.

author's note: hi everyone, we were inspired by Alba Putella's instagram post and hope you enjoy how the story turned out. 🤍🤍

disclaimer: everything in this fanfiction is purely fictional and nothing corresponds to reality.

You loved the feeling of clay under your hands. There was something meditative about the way it moulded and bend with every motion, the smooth texture a welcome distraction from everything else going on in your life.

Just sitting there and creating something felt soothing. That was one of the reasons why you loved pottery so much, it gave you time and space to sit with your thoughts.

You had hoped that your girlfriend would enjoy it just as much. She clearly needed a distraction from Barcelonas first ever loss to Real Madrid.

But now, she sat in front of the pottery wheel, arms crossed and glaring at a fresh slab of clay as if she could shape it with her thoughts if she tried only hard enough.

With your own hands already slick from working with your own clay, you shot her a questioning look.

“What if I do something wrong?”, Alexia asked quietly into the silence of the room, her eyes still fixated on the clay in front of her.

You suppressed a chuckle. Always the perfectionist.

“Amor, we talked about this before.”, you reminded her patiently.

“I want this to be good.”

Abandoning your project, you strode across the empty studio and pulled up a stool up right behind Alexias. You sat down, ready to guide her hands.

“Okay, just sit and try to relax.”

“Fine.”, she muttered and shifted on her seat. You watched as she exhaled deeply, letting her shoulders drop slightly. That was as relaxed as Alexia ever got.

You reached around her and wrapped your hands around hers, directing them towards the clay. You let her touch it, play with it so she could get a feel for the material.

“So what do you want to make?”, you asked softly. Your body was so close to hers that a whisper was enough.

“I want to make a bowl. But not just a tiny boring one.”, she said determinedly.

You smirked slightly. Of course she even had high standards for her first pottery project.

You nodded: “Okay, we can do that.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll show you how to do it.”

You guided her fingers, showing her how to hold her hands so the clay would mould the way she wanted. A small indent formed in the middle while the walls of her bowl started to slowly rise.

“Your hands are actually perfect for that.”, you murmured into her ear.

For a moment, Alexia tore her eyes from the bowl and turned towards you. Her eyebrows knit together in a frown: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

"It was a compliment, Ale.," you clarified, smirking.

An understanding expression crossed her face, her eyes shifting between green and brown. In the room, filled with beige tones, they appeared more hazel: "Oh."

"Watch me.", you told her warmly. It was a shift in roles for your girlfriend. Normally, she was the one under everyone's gaze—yourself, the football fans, the opponents, and her teammates alike.

Her full attention was focused on the movements of your hands, and she muttered: "Okay."

There was something intimate about the way Alexia watched you work. The midfielder did her best to absorb every detail.

"Good.”, you nodded in approval, feeling satisfied.

After a moment, she said: "Let me try."

"Alright.”, you responded, happy to let her take over.

Grumpily, Alexia crossed her arms over her chest: "I don't know how you do it. Mine is so uneven."

There it was—her perfectionism. The same drive that made her world-class on the pitch, propelling her to the highest achievements in football, now stood in the way of her enjoying the process of creating the bowl.

"It's not bad for a first try.”, you reassured her, offering an encouraging smile before placing your fingers over hers to smooth out the piece.

Visibly impressed, she began: „That’s..."

"Yes?”, you prompted, waiting for her to finish.

A small smile tugged at the corners of your girlfriend's mouth: “Much better."

"You need to think less and be more in the moment." You paused for a moment before adding with a sigh: "Your thoughts were on the last game, weren't they?"

"Maybe.”, Alexia admitted, biting her lip guiltily.

A soft whisper escaped your lips. "That's a yes, then. Try to focus on what's in front of you."

"So, next time...", she grinned sheepishly at you.

You rolled your eyes playfully: "No, on the clay."

A childish joy filled Alexia as she placed her hands on your breasts, leaving handprints behind.

"That’s not what I meant.”, you laughed in disbelief.

Innocently, Alexia shrugged: "I was focused on the clay on my hands."

"You’re lucky we’re alone here, Putellas Segura.”, you teased.

Quickly, your girlfriend assured you: "I wouldn’t have done that in front of other people."

"Of course not."

"That’s just for me.”, she said proudly.

You tilted your head and observed her: "During your private lesson?"

"I’m having fun.”, Alexia remarked, pulling you closer toward her.

"Oh, I can tell.”, you chuckled amusedly, now sitting on her lap with her arms wrapped around your waist, your foreheads touching.

She gave you an apologetic look: "Sorry."

 "Don't apologize. I'm enjoying myself here too.”, you replied sincerely.

Alexia gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear: "I can tell that you do."

“Oh really?”, you smirked, your eyebrows quirking up.

Alexia nodded, biting back a smile: “Oh yes.”

“You taught me about football. Now it’s my turn to teach you something.”

“Then help me finish this bowl.”, Alexia grinned, nodding towards the forgotten clay piece on the pottery wheel.

“I will.”, you smiled and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before slipping off her lap. You again took the seat behind her, your hands moving hers, finalising her bowl.

“Thanks.”, Alexia murmured, seemingly satisfied with how her creation had come together.

“You’re welcome.”, you whispered into her ear from behind.

Her fingers traced the smooth surface on their own, as if appreciating her work: “It’s pretty nice.”

“Agreed.”, you said, unable to keep the pride from your voice.

She turned to you with a small smile: “I’m happy with it.”

“You should be.”

“But now I have to be patient until I can take it home?”, she asked, impatience creeping into her voice.

You nodded. “Yes.”

“I hate that.”, Alexia said jokingly, but you knew there was some truth to it.

“It has to be fired first. We can pick it up together and I can bring it home for you.”, you explained patiently to her.

The corner of Alexias mouth quirking up mischievously: “Whatever. I know exactly what I’m going to do in the meantime.”

You leaned in, sitting on the edge of your stool: “Tell me.”

“You.”

Before you could react, Alexia grabbed you and lifted you onto an empty table.

You giggled: “Wait, I need to-”

“Need to what?”, she dared you to continue.

“Clean up.”

“We can clean up later.”, she said, already sliding the straps of your overall off your shoulders.

You shrugged, only too eager to feel Alexias hands on your body: “Fair enough.”

“After I am done with you.”, she murmured with a wolfish grin before pressing kisses along your collarbones.

[alotofpockets]

What if this is the end? | Alexia Putellas x Reader

Part 1 of 'What if this is the end?'

5k celebration prompt: "If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back."

Warnings: breakup, car crash, injuries

A/n: pretend the italics are Spanish pls :)

Woso masterlist | Words: 2.5k

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Your relationship with Alexia had always been good, until out of nowhere it wasn’t. For the past month every small disagreement you had, turned into a fight. You didn’t know where all of this tension and frustration with each other had come from, but you didn’t know how to fix it. 

Maybe you just needed to spend a bit more time together, you hadn’t been able to do that much with both having busy work schedules. It was your anniversary tonight and you had the reservation at your favourite restaurant set for a while ago, it was the same place you went every year to celebrate your relationship, and you were looking forward to it. Looking forward to spending some one on one time with Alexia in a different environment than your home.

The two of you had spoken about going last night so you knew that Alexia was aware that the dinner was a go. Yet, every minute since you arrived, you’ve checked your phone to see if you had gotten a message from Alexia. 

You had desperately hoped that this wouldn’t be one of the days where Alexia would forget about your plans, but after waiting at the restaurant for 45 minutes, without a single reply from Alexia to your texts or calls, you decided to give up on that hope and just head home.

After an hour of being back home, you finally heard from Alexia. 

Alexia: I lost track of time at training, I’m sorry. On my way home right now

You stare at the message, trying to convince yourself that it was okay, but it wasn’t. It has happened too often already, and now on your anniversary. On the day you thought maybe you could turn this all back around.

When Alexia arrived home she was met with you and two packed suitcases. She looked between them and you confused, her brow furrowed. “What is going on?”

“I need some space, so I am going to stay with one of my friends for a bit.” You had thought it over and you had decided that you needed this. 

Alexia sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. “I said I was sorry. I just lost track of time. Can’t we just reschedule our dinner plans?”

You shake your head, “No,” She wasn’t getting it. “That’s not the point.” Your frustration resurfacing again. “You always lose track of time when it comes to me. I feel like I am not a priority anymore. I get that football is your job, but why do I always have to be the one that gets left behind?”

“That’s not fair.” Alexia said softly. “You know how much pressure I’m under, and I try, I really do. At the end of the day, I give you all the energy I have left.”

You wipe away the tear that was threatening to escape. “So, loving me is just another task on your to-do list?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Alexia said full of frustration. But she had said it, the damage was done. The fight got bigger, bigger than any fight you had ever had before. Raised voices, harsh words spoken, tears flowing.

“I can’t do this right now, Ale.” Your voice hoarse from yelling. After wiping away another tear, you turn towards the door. With your luggage at the door, you reach for the handle.

"If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back." Alexia said firmly.

You let your hand fall and take a step back. Alexia breathes a sigh of relief, maybe she could still fix this.

With a deep sigh you turn around and walk back towards her. Alexia thought you turned around to stay and fight for what you had, but instead you slipped off your engagement ring. She watched you take it off and place it on the table, before you walked back to the door.

“Wait! I didn't mean it.” Alexia called after you, but this time it was too late. You had already closed the door behind you.

Alexia had sat watching the ring on the table, regretting everything that happened for it to be laying on the dining table instead of where it belongs, around your finger. 

She picked up the ring and left. She wanted to go after you, but you never said which friend you would be staying with, plus the gesture of giving your ring back was pretty clear.

Instead, she drove straight to her mom's house. Eli was already waiting for Alexia at the door, when she heard her car pull up in the driveway. She was excited for her daughter to come by for a surprise visit, but was quickly aware that the visit wasn’t as random as she thought.

Alexia stepped out of her car and slowly walked to the door, seemingly having no energy whatsoever. The closer she got, the more clear it got that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and swollen, and dried tears coating her cheeks.

“What’s wrong, nena?” She said as Alexia took the final step to reach the door. As soon as Eli asked, the tears started flowing freely again. Alexia falling into her arms. “I messed up.” Eli held her daughter tight, rubbing her hand over her back to try and calm her down.

“Messed up what?” Alexia sniffled, “Everything, I messed everything up. I think I’ve lost her mom.”

Eli shook her head, slightly pushing her daughter away so she could look at her. With her thumbs she wiped away Alexia’s tears. “You two can get through everything together. I’m sure you can work on it.”

Alexia reached into her pocket and showed her mom the ring, “I’m not too sure about that one.” Eli pulled Alexia in for another hug and pulled her inside the home.

It had been a month since then. Neither one of you had spoken to each other in the time that had passed. Alexia noticed you had been by the house when she had been at training or had a match, because she would notice you had taken some more stuff on a couple of occasions. Your favourite hoodie that you missed while packing, the mug you’d use every morning for your tea, or one of the pictures with you and your friends. Each item gone was like another reminder that she was losing you.

She hated that you still knew her schedule well enough to avoid her. Hated it that she hadn’t changed it enough to surprise you one day, because she would really like to see you and tell you how sorry she was. She wanted to fix things, but she knew that you didn’t walk out that door without your engagement ring over nothing. 

On some nights she almost texted you. On others she would open your contact and let her fingers hover over the call button, before turning her phone off again. She convinced herself that you didn’t want to hear from her. You made that clear by stopping by the house when you knew she wouldn’t be around, and she didn’t blame you. Her words and her actions that night had hurt you.

Still, the ring never left her. The first few days she kept it in her pocket, but now she wore it on a chain around her neck, hidden under her shirt. A constant reminder of what she had lost, but was not ready to let go of yet.

That morning had started like any other. Breakfast with the girls before a training session where her head was half somewhere else. Her mind was always on you nowadays, and it was starting to affect her game. She went home and was just about to take a shower, when her phone rang. It was an unknown number, but she picked up nonetheless.

“Hello?” she said as she answered the call.

“Hello, is this Alexia Putellas?” A lady on the other end of the line said.

“Yes, who is this?” She questioned.

“I’m Carmen from the hospital. You’re listed as the emergency contact for Y/n.” The call had Alexia’s full attention now. “She has been in an accident.”

The news felt like a punch to the gut. Carmen went on to tell Alexia that the accident had been serious and that you had been unconscious when you were brought in by the ambulance. She told Alexia that you were in surgery right now, and that she couldn’t give more details over the phone, but she should come to the hospital for more information and to be there for you when you got out of surgery.

Alexia’s mind was going crazy, but there was no hesitation present. She was already on her way to her car before Carmen was even done talking. “I’ll be there soon.” She said before hanging up the phone and stepping into the car.

When Alexia arrived the nurse caught her up to speed. You had been in a bad car crash. The fire department had to cut your car open to get you out. You broke your leg, and fractured a few ribs. She said that you had been unconscious upon arrival, and that they didn’t know if it was because of the blood loss or if you had a head injury, and that only time would tell. She escorted Alexia to the room that would be yours once you were out of surgery.

Alexia put her stuff down on the table in the corner and instantly started pacing the room. She needed to call your parents. What would she tell them? She wasn’t even fully aware of your state right now, but she knew she had to tell them everything she had just been told. 

She called right away, and told them everything the nurses had told her. They said they would be on the first flight out, and asked Alexia to update whenever she got more information.

A few minutes after she had hung up, you were wheeled into the room. Alexia watched in fear as more of the bed entered the room. Your body was battered and bruised. Your leg wrapped in a cast, bandages around your arms, butterfly stitches on your face. Her heart broke at the sight, but the steady beeping of the monitors reassured her a little.

“The surgery went well, she should make a full recovery. She hasn’t gained consciousness yet, but we are hopeful that once the anesthesia wears off, she should regain consciousness. I’ll check in soon.” The nurse says before leaving the room.

Alexia shot a quick text to your parents, updating them on the news, before she sat down by the side of your bed. She studied your face for any sign of movement, any sign that you would wake up.

There was nothing for almost half an hour, but then she saw your hand move. Alexia shot up from the chair, eyes wide open as yours fluttered open. Clearly not enjoying the brightness of the hospital light.

“Y/n?” She whispered, not warning to hurt you by speaking too loud. “Hey, can you hear me?”

You turned your head slowly, brows furrowing as your gaze landed on her. “What are you doing here?” Your voice was hoarse, and you struggled to get the first words out. Before Alexia could answer, you asked a second question. “Who are you?”

Alexia’s heart dropped, you didn’t remember? That must mean that you did indeed injure your head in the accident as well. “I’m Alexia.” You looked her over, clearly thinking before saying, “And who are you to me?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but the words caught in her throat. That was kind of a tough question in your current situation, but she should just tell you the truth, so she did.

“Well we never really discussed that, but I ehm, I was your fiancée.” 

“Was? What happened?” you asked. 

Alexia sat down again, playing with the hem of her training top, she was still wearing. “A lot happened." She looked up nervously meeting your eyes. “I don’t think I should get into the details right now, since you’ve just woken up from surgery and everything. But in short, I did a lot of things wrong that I wish I had noticed sooner, so could’ve fixed us.”

You took in the words she spoke. Did she really mean them or was she just saying them because you were laying in a hospital bed? But then your eyes fell onto something, the light catching something around her neck.

There it was hanging, your engagement ring. That’s when you could no longer keep it up. “You’ve held onto my ring?” Alexia looked down at the ring that was no longer hiding under her shirt. “Of course I did. I want to fix this, fix us. I could never let it go.”

“Wait, you remember the ring?” It just dawned on Alexia that you could’ve assumed it was your ring, but that it was also an option that you remembered it.

Your cheeks turn slightly red. “Yes, I do. I remember it all. I was surprised to see you here, and my mind convinced me I should see what your intentions were. I’m sorry.”

Alexia looks at you with a blank expression for a moment, before she smiles. “I guess I deserved that. I’m just glad you don’t actually have memory loss. They called me because you have me listed as your emergency contact. But don’t worry, I’ve called your parents and they will be on the first flight out.”

The last part surprises you. “You called my parents?” Alexia nodded, “Of course I did. 

You give her a weak smile, now realising that your face is pretty battered up. “Thank you.” Alexia smiled back. “I’ll text them you’re awake, but they should be on the plane right now I think. I can stay until they get here if you want, but I could also leave right now. It’s up to you.”

“Can you stay?” Alexia nods. “I don’t know what this means for us, and I realise I am probably on a lot of medication right now. But I want to work on us too, see if we can get back to where we were when everything was going right.”

“I can stay however long you need. Just let me get a nurse to come check you out, now that you’re awake and I will be right back.” With a nod, you watched her walk out of the room. You knew that there was a lot to work on, but Alexia being here and showing up for you with your ring hanging around her neck made you feel like there was a way to come back from this if you worked on it together.

Continue reading part 2

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[outsideratheart]

Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.

The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.

Y/N Y/L/N quits football.

Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.

The best in the world has vanished.

If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.

The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.

You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.

Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 

You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.

A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 

The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.

“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 

“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 

Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 

“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 

Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 

“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 

When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 

“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”

“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 

“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 

“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 

Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 

The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 

Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.

“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.

“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.

“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.

“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”

A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 

“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.

“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 

You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.

“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”

“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.

“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.

“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.

“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.

“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 

“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.

Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.

“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.

“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.

“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”

You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.

Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.

“You did this?” You ask the pair.

“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”

“Not possible” the defender joked.

The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.

“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.

“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”

You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.

“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.

“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.

“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 

It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.

Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 

“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.

“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.

“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.

“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.

“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”

When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 

You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 

Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.

You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 

When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 

Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 

“How did you know?”

Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 

“I asked Keira what you ordered”

A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.

You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.

“I spoke with Ada”

This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.

“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.

“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”

She did. You know she did. 

“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.

“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”

“Lo siento”

“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”

Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 

“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”

The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.

“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 

“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.

“We are in jail?” 

You cannot help but chuckle at her words.

“No, I was not in jail”

“Did you kill somebody?”

“No, I did not kill anybody”

“So no crimes were committed?”

“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 

“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”

Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 

Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.

“I wasn’t sick” 

“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”

“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 

The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 

You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.

“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 

“Thank you Maria” 

You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 

“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 

“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.

“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.

“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”

“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.

“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“

“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”

“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”

“No I don’t but —“

“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.

“Walk away Lucy” 

A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.

“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”

You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.

The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 

“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.

“Natalia, she, she” 

Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 

Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.

“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.

“Keira—Natalia”

“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 

You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 

“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.

“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 

“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.

“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.

A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.

“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.

“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”

“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 

You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.

“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.

You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.

“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”

A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.

You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.

One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.

When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.

“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.

“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.

Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.

“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”

Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 

She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.

“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“

“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased

“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.

Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.

“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 

Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 

“So space?” Alexia asks.

“Space” Mapi confirmed.

Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.

“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”

The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.

“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”

It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.

“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”

“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”

Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 

The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.

“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 

“Gracias Y/N” 

To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.

After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.

You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 

The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.

“Y/N, hola. Adelante”

You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.

Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.

“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.

“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”

“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 

She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.

Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.

“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.

The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.

“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.

“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.

“Oh Querida, come here” 

You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.

“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.

She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.

“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 

“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.

“What? I’m being honest” 

“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.

“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 

“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”

Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.

“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”

“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.

“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 

Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.

Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.

She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.

The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 

“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 

“What are you — oh I see” 

There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 

You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.

“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.

“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”

“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”

She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.

The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 

“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 

There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 

“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 

“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 

“Your mother. She told you about what I said”

“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 

You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 

“My friend. What are you talking about?” 

Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.

“Natalia?” 

She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 

In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.

“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.

The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 

When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.

“You don’t have to”

She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 

“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.

You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 

Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 

“I didn’t know you were married” 

“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 

In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 

“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 

“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 

Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 

“She sounds like a strong woman” 

“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 

When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 

“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 

Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 

“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 

“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 

“Y/N I’m —“

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 

You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 

Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 

“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.

“You can. Is it about Na—“ 

Alexia shakes her head.

“Why Barcelona?” 

It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.

“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”

You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 

“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”

“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”

Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.

You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.

“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.

You took a second to think. 

“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”

“Y/N I can’t. Not now”

“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 

You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.

“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.

You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.

“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 

You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.

From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 

Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 

Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.

You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 

During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.

Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 

“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.

Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.

“She isn’t here for them” 

Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 

“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”

“No, I can wait” 

Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.

“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 

“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.

“I’ll meet you guys there” 

Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.

It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 

All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 

The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.

“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.

“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  

Lucy does as her told.

“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 

You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.

“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“

“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.

“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 

Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 

You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.

There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.

Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.

“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 

The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.

“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.

“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.

“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”

“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.

“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”

Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.

“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 

“She is ignoring me”

“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”

So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.

“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 

Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.

Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 

Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?

Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.

Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.

World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.

Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.

“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.

“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.

Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.

“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.

The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 

Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.

Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 

When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.

“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.

“2–0” Ona says.

“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.

“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 

She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 

The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.

“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.

“Game on, Maz” 

It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.

After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.

“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 

When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.

Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.

“Vamos Y/N” she says.

“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.

“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.

“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”

Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.

There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 

When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 

It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.

In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.

With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.

“You’re taking it” 

It’s not a question and you don’t argue.

“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”

The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 

As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 

“It’s like you never left”

Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.

It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.

The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.

You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 

A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.

“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.

“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.

“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.

“I’m—“ 

“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.

You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.

‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.

You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.

“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.

“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.

“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 

“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.

“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.

The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.

You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.

“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.

“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.

“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.

“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.

“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.

The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.

“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”

“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“

“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 

“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.

“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”

Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 

“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.

“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”

You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 

When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.

“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”

“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.

“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.

“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.

“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.

The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.

“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.

You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.

“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.

After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.

Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.

“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.

“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.

The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.

By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 

The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 

Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.

“Alexia” 

She turned to face Keira.

“Leave her be”

“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.

Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.

“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.

Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.

“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 

It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.

In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 

“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.

“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.

“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.

“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”

You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.

“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.

“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 

You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.

“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.

“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.

Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.

What you said next doubled that hope.

“Come find me after the game”

Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.

“We need to talk”

Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.

Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.

“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 

The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 

Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.

Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.

“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.

You shake your head at her greeting.

“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.

“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 

You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.

“Alexia” 

“Y/N” 

Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.

You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.

“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 

Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 

“England on three” 

You all come together one more time before getting in position.

Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.

“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.

“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 

Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.

The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 

Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.

The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.

Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.

“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.

“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 

One by one players begin lifting their hands.

“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 

You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.

The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.

Game on.

Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 

It was during a corner where things got interesting.

“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 

“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.

“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.

“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”

“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 

Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 

She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.

You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.

“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.

“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”

“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.

“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  

Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.

“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.

Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.

“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”

“No, I —“ 

“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”

“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.

“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”

Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.

“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 

“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”

Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.

“Y/N” 

“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 

Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.

“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.

“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 

Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.

The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 

Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.

“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 

“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.

“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.

They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 

Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 

Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.

“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”

The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 

“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.

“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.

“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 

Alexia nods.

“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”

“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.

“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.

“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.

“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.

“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.

“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.

“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“

“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 

With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.

As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.

“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 

“I owe you a drink and —” 

“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”

“I know it’s just that—“

“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.

“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”

You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.

“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 

“Figures. She has been hovering” 

The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.

“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.

“We do. What happened the other night it—“

“Shouldn’t have happened”

“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 

“Lo siento”

“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”

“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.

“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 

Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.

“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.

“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”

Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.

“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”

“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”

“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”

Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.

“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“

“I would really like that”

“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.

“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.

[wordsbyrian]

Ma’am do you write for Leila Ouahabi? A writer posted a bunch of old requests she won’t be writing and this one caught my eye: (Leila uses R as a shield everytime ESPWNT teammates scare her)

A/N: Look I wrote a thing after *checks watch* ... actually lets not talk about how long its been.

If there is one thing you’re certain of in life, it’s that your girlfriend is a massive scaredy cat.

As tough as she may appear to people who don’t know her very well (especially when it comes to her antics on the field), you and all of your national team teammates know that the slightest noise or sudden movement can make her jump out of her skin.

And since everyone knows this, they all make it their job at camp to scare her at every possible movement.

In the past, you had been completely fine with this but recently Leila has taken to using you as a shield against all of your teammates' attacks.

The first time it happened, you had no choice but to be shocked.

The two of you had been walking down the hall after training when Mapi jumped out at you from an alcove.

Leila’s hand, which had been loosely wrapped around your waist immediately tightens, but instead of pulling you behind her like you thought she would, you get tugged against her chest as she crouches down behind you and hides her face in your back.

This leaves you staring blankly at Mapi who can barely hold herself up she’s laughing so hard.

Sighing deeply, you loosen Leila’s grip on your body and turn to face her.

“Seriously?”

You watch for a few seconds as Leila stutters and stumbles her words, Mapi still laughing behind you.

“Seriously,” you say again.

“Mi amor,” your girlfriend tries, reaching out for your hand, only for you to take a step back while glaring at her.

“Idiotas.”

You glare at her one more time before turning and leaving the two best friends standing there.

Of course, word of what happened spreads quickly through the team, which means that you find yourself in the position of a human shield with increasing frequency.

Which, in turn, means that Leila finds herself on the receiving end of your glare with that same frequency.

Your teammates all take any and every opportunity to scare your girlfriend into the dog house.

Even Alexia has gotten in on the action, quietly walking up behind the defender and scaring her so badly that the older woman leaps into your arms.

Rolling your eyes, you adjust your grip on her to hold her more securely and continue walking back to Leila’s hotel room. Tossing nothing but a simple ‘bye Ale’ over your shoulder on your way.

In its own twisted way, your non-reactions become a challenge to your teammates in it’s own right.

As time passes and more camps come and go, they come up with new and increasingly outrageous ways to try and get a rise out of you.

Most of them fail.

Ona is the one with the best attempt. It’s probably because she knows that both you and Leila have a soft spot for her.

It happens one morning at breakfast, near the end of camp, just as you point out to Leila that the younger woman she’d claimed as her cousin hasn’t been seen yet.

Just as you finish saying, Leila begins freaking out saying that something touched her leg.

Rolling your eyes, you lean over to check under the tablecloth to reassure your girlfriend that there’s nothing down there but you don’t do much other than look at your feet before sitting back up.

Unfortunately, Leila continues, to insist that something is touching her leg. So much so that you reach down and move her legs so that their resting on your lap.

Breakfast continues mostly in peace after that…

…until you feel something grab your leg.

The first few times it happens, you just shake it away and continue eating.

But eventually, it wraps itself fully around your ankle.

Naturally, this startles you. So in a surprising display of coordination, you pull Leila into your lap while pushing away from the table at the same time.

There’s also a very impressive string of curse words that you let out.In the middle of your tirade, you spot Ona crawling out from under the table.

“Joder. Hijo de la gran puta.”

Clearly, you are causing a scene and drawing the attention of all your teammates and the coaching staff but you can’t really find it in you to care. Especially not with the way both Leila and Ona are laughing so hard their faces are turning red.

Rolling your eyes at the pair of clowns, you stand up (letting your girlfriend drop to the ground) and begin to walk away.

Stopping just before you reach the door, you turn around and look back at Leila and Ona, who are now leaning on each other trying to catch their breath.

“Alright I’ve let everyone have their fun,” you say, “but we all remember what happened the last time I joined in on a prank war.”

And with that, you walk out of the room, trying not to laugh at the sound of multiple people scrambling to chase after you.