#so proud of Dan and Phil for coming out

[nothoughtsonlytrance]

Hey guys! I usually don’t post something like this, but I thought I might as well anyway, in honor of the 5th anniversary of Dan’s coming out video.

So I mentioned in a previous post in an answer to @demonqueenart that I am pansexual. I’ve known this since around the time that Dan and Phil came out back in 2019. I was in community college at the time, and it was my first time in a public school setting. Before then, I had been to private schools throughout elementary, middle, and high school, and there wasn’t a lot of diversity in terms of how people expressed themselves due to the restrictions and dress codes that the schools enforced. So I never really had a way to express myself in terms of clothing styles and stuff like that. I thought I was straight when I was in high school, and I was already an ally because I had a few close friends or classmates who were LGBTQ, and I accepted them no matter what, (and I was taught growing up that we are called to show kindness and love to others no matter who they were) but it was kinda kept on the down low because it was considered taboo, especially since our highschool was a Christian high school.

When I finally entered community college in 2018, I was astounded by the diversity of people there and the way that people expressed themselves, whether it was by their clothing style, their gender identity, sexuality, etc. And I realized that some of the people who were there were really attractive. And it didn’t matter whether they identified as male, female, nonbinary, or whatever. I never did ask anyone out (cuz I’m a HUGE coward, lol), But I knew that it didn’t matter who the person I’d eventually date was as long as we had a connection, treated each other and others kindly, had a wonderful personality, and had things in common. Questioning my sexuality was one of the many shower thoughts I had lol

I remember scrolling through TikTok as well and seeing the countless ways that people expressed their identities, and it made me feel like I could be that way too. (Literally remember seeing a cosplayer’s version of Cat-ra from She-ra Princess of Power and blushing madly and thinking, “Wait, why am I blushing, why am I feeling this way?!”, haha)

I didn’t see Dan and Phil’s coming out videos until a little while later, but they touched my heart in so many ways when I did. Dan’s “Gay and Not Proud” video also helped me through my journey. So many quotes from the video spoke to me, especially the part when his spiritual subconscious told him,

“Depressed little emo Dan, it wasn’t his fault. Don’t hate him, don’t hate yourself…you have a lot to be proud of.”

Being proud of myself had kinda been a challenge, even to this day. Especially since there has been so much panphobia and harmful stereotypes surrounding pansexuality. Even when people mention different types of sexualities, rarely do they mention pansexuality, and it makes me wonder if I am valid too. I’ve been out to very few people, other than a few friends that I know will accept me, and I’m out to my sister and mother. Most of my extended family is LGBTQ accepting, but at the same time, I’m not sure when I should tell them, especially since I’m not really dating anyone at the moment and I’m kinda nervous about what questions they’ll ask if I do come out. I hope to eventually, tho.

I really do hope one day, I find the right person for me. I’ve never been asked out before, never had my first kiss, or even been on my first date. So no dating experience whatsoever, lol. It’s been really frustrating because so many of my friends and other people my age (early-mid 20s) have been going on dates, finding their soulmates, getting married etc. And it honestly makes me jealous because no one has ever said “I love you” to me in a romantic way. I truly do wish I find someone who loves me for who I am because I don’t want to die alone. I want to eventually start dating, but there’s of course always the risk of catfishing, and I don’t want my heart to be broken at the same time. So it’s been complicated, to say the least.

Well, that was a bit of a rant, but that's the end of it, haha. I hope this message finds you all well. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey, and there will always be people out there who care about you. And if you’re not able to come out just yet, just know that things will get better. I promise. Thank you so much for reading, and if you have any questions, feel free to leave an ask or reply!

I also (one last thing) wanna say a big THANK YOU to all the people who have liked and reblogged my Dan and Phil edits as well as my music. I’ve been getting better and better at using CapCut and GarageBand IOS (yes, I make the music and videos on my phone bc that’s all I can afford to work with, lol. Does it eat up my data? Yes. Do I care? No.), But each time I see that someone liked or reblogged one of my works, it makes me so happy and motivates me to keep going. So I really appreciate it!

More edits and posts will be coming soon, so stay tuned!

-Kristy, aka nothoughts_onlytrance

[420dannie]

THE ENERGY IN THE NEW VIDEO. i say this every time but gawddd it feels so good to see them so happy and so comfortable 😭😭😭 especially knowing it was intended to be the end but here they are 5 year later back and so much happier then they or we could have ever imagined :,) hearing them say how different it felt, how excited they are for the future when there was a point in time they didn’t think they’d ever want that again, its just so special. for them to be willingly opening the door to a place that was once closed so tight and pried into time and time again, is something i never thought would happen and im just so happy they are finally doing it for THEM, because they want to

[emotoangel]

the thing is like ,, if this is dnp 5 years after BIG and COTY I cannot WAIT to see what dnp 6, 7, 8+ years after look like. who they are. I am Aphraid™ but also I’m so so happy for them and I’m so excited to see what their future looks like

[ingydar-phan]

Ok I do want to chime in on the convo but actually this is gonna be really long because I’ve been planning to make a huge post about this since the tour trailer came out. Like genuinely I messaged some people asking for tips on how to make a big conversation post weeks ago and then just never did it. So here goes I guess.

I am a firm believer they are going to hard launch soon. In some way shape or form. Before tour starts. That is a stance I have held ever since I watched pizza mukbang 2. And I have explanations.

My main points come from the coming out parallel surrounding Dans internalized homophobia and trauma responses and fear of rejection (more on that later), and also my hypothesized “3 stages” of the gaming channel revival.

I believe that when the gaming channel was revived, starting with the Heartthrob video, they entered stage 1: experimenting with audiences desire for a return to content. This was a phase they themselves discussed in Dans Birthday Stream and in Pizza Mukbang 2. The first few months were experimenting with what a new audience would look like and how much they were wanted, in what contexts, and what kind of content. I also think this wraps into the dynamic difference between Dan and Phil as people. Note, I love them both dearly and want nothing but the best for them both. It has been made clear that they did very different things during the hiatus, with Phil initiating the gaming channel comeback. Before Dan came out, he was under an immense feeling of guilt and pressure, even by his own mind. He had the option of leaving the internet forever, and he certainly considered it. Finish off the gaming channel, go on one last tour, and leave. Never having to adress anything again. But he didn’t do that. He came back. He came out. And he was greeted with the kindest, warmest, most accepting response. And he did work! He wrote a book! He went on a solo tour! And to echo both Dan himself and all of the community, he needed this. He needed this time of healing and this era of self discovery. He wouldn’t be who he is today without it, and I’m so proud of him.

But Phil? Oh Phil was just cruising along. That’s not at all to discredit any form of hardship Phil went through, but it certainly wasn’t the same. Phil was making content before Dan was, back in 2006. In uni, Phil was comfortable in his sexuality (or some form of queerness). But he waited. He waited to come out until Dan was ready. Because he’s a wonderful partner. He was happy continuing Amazingphil regardless of hiatus, of Dans needs, because he knew he didn’t have to pressure Dan into anything he didn’t want or wasn’t ready for. And then, presumably when Dan was ready, Phil proposed a gaming channel comeback. Just try it out, just see how it feels, low commitment. And what happened? Once again, they were showered with love and adoration and support and acceptance. Was the fandom different than how it used to be? Absolutely. But it was beautiful and loving. So that’s stage 1. Experimenting with content and viewership and re-entering the branding of Dan and Phil (Games).

Then, I believe after stage 1 came stage 2. Experimenting with audience reaction to Dan and Phil as a couple. I want to stake my claim here that everything they do is meticulously curated. Sure, Phil’s toe popping out of his sock wasn’t purposeful, but it was certainly handled intentionally. They’re extremely seasoned creators, and everything they do is for a reason. (That’s why I love rpf hehe). This, my “stage 2”, is when they were dipping their toes more into phan stuff. The orange heart. The “gay” community tab. Using the “ph-“ prefix THEMSELVES a lot more. Dab and Evan comparisons. This was the middle ground. How would people react? Would they turn away because it’s too much? Would they begin stalking and creeping all over again? Or would they accept these people for what they are. As much as people like to think Dan and Phil are just silly whimsical guys who are perfect no matter what they do (which is accurate as well tbf), they also know what they’re doing. They do these things on purpose to gauge audience reaction, to see how people feel about it. As others have said, what we see publicly is just a tiny sliver of their real life. Yea, even the domestic videos. It’s curated. And it’s wonderful. It’s so endearing they choose to share these things. Even in times of uncertainty. But that uncertainty was met with absolute acceptance.

Which is how we get into stage 3. I think “stage 3” started developing around the time of Dans Birthday Stream, but really actually started when the tour trailer was posted, and then all the videos after that (pizza mukbang, dressing each other, chained together, tiktoks, etc etc). So, very recently. But something shifted. Maybe it’s in the air, maybe it’s just me, maybe we all need to go outside. But something shifted. Dan and Phil, but especially Dan, saw how they were being accepted and took that as an affirmation. An affirmation that everything is going to be okay. They can commit now. They can go full on. Full hard launch.

I think everyone has a different definition of hard launch, and even I think it varies by context. But what I mean here is not necessarily them making some video called “Dan and Phil are romantically together” and staring at the camera with a gun to their head. It doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have to be that.

Straight people get this privilege of being assumed straight without having to “come out”. They get this comfort of having relationships without having to scream it in everyone’s faces.

And I do indeed agree with what people mean when they say they have already hard launched. They’re husbands, soulmates, 4000 year old tortoises, “basically any other gay couple”, more than just romantic, yea. I get it. But people are fucking stupid. Non-queer people don’t understand nuance, and need everything handed to them on a silver platter. Dan and Phil are together. People who try to twist and turn to try and “prove” they’re anything but a committed romantic and sexual relationship are ignorant at best, but mainly using homophobic wishful thinking. However, there’s more to go. There’s a reason we’re all “terrified” for what is to come. Because everything, the past 15 years of all of our lives, of their life, is coming together. It’s genuinely beautiful.

So what do I mean by hard launch then? Well, I mean a lack of censorship (besides what’s reasonable. Though we’d all love to see them fuck on YouTube, I’m not sure that’s happening any time soon). I mean a lack of shame. A lack of hiding. And it’s already begun. That’s what I feel stage 3 to be and have been. In pizza mukbang 2, they say things such as “cheers dear”, which is intentional. The “gay uncles” and the “kneeing” is all intentional. It’s not just throwaway jokes, it’s them looking us in the eyes and saying “we see you”. I have a whole list of stage 3 things. The intentional Incohearant cards. The “my face hurts from smiling” comments. THE HANDS ON THE SHOULDER TO THE HAND ON THE KNEE. Them being so open about their secluded romantic holiday. The relentless Phil bottom jokes. The yaoi day tweet from the outfits video. The “who would jump for you like that dog jumped for that man” “you”. It’s all there. It’s all intentional. And I’m so grateful for it.

One of my mutuals who I talked about this with (not gonna name cuz idk if they want me to) talked about their theory that DNP have given barely any info about tour because it requires some form of hard launch to preface it. And honestly? I didn’t even realize that was a theory. I sort of already accepted that as fact. How open IS the door gonna be?

So yea, I hope this makes sense. Please feel free to respond with or send asks of any nuances or questions or theories you’d like to add. I don’t intend this to be shaming anyone who thinks differently. Even if I may vehemently disagree with someone in my head, I don’t think these people are evil or malicious or objectively bad or deserving of hate. These are just my thoughts. I’ll likely be adding more. Thanks for reading.

[amid-fandoms]

i only vividly remember dan's video dropping during my shift when i was abroad working in america. i cried at work and my manager, bless her, asked me what was the matter so i had to explain that "a person i care for very much just came out" and she got all fond about it, started telling me about how one of her group friends came out a while ago and they threw him a party, which made me even more emotional cause she was like 60+ years old. i'm not sure if i watched the full video during my break at my house or after work hours, but i just remember absolutely sobbing for the entire day and being unable to function or think about anything else

phil's coming out video is a fever dream, i don't remember where i was, what i was doing, but 'phil gay' was the only norm that day, week and following months and a mantra that was repeated everywhere at the time (or at least in the dnp instagram community) and that's all that's stuck in my memory from back then

I want to know where you were and what you were doing when these two videos came out

[dansevilpianotea]

bc dan acts SOO different now compared to wad. sth mustve really clicked in him after doing a solo tour. go watch any video/stream now from that era (ideally not dd bc that was a hightly conceptual character apparently) and you can see that he was trying so hard to be seen as someone else. to get approval from the wrong crowd, as he recently talked about dont get me wrong, i love wad the show itself, but you have to admit that dan hadnt really decided who he wanted to be seen as yet (in a post-coming out, post-phouse univers) before he went on tour, so the person he was during that era reflected that.

it was very hard for me to distinguish the dystopia daily persona to his usual online character because he hadnt really shown enough of that (at the time, post-coming out, mid-hiatus) to be distinguishable from his pre-pandemic, pre-ywgttn depressed lol xd dan character. he just wasnt around a lot. [i think thats what he got wrong with dd. he thought we knew him better than we did at the time but he also wanted to establish his independence from the dnp branding which unfortunately expressed himself as a form of resentment against people who still associated him with that (us phannies). this is why it felt regressive and made me sad, because the dd character seemed like an old, unhappier version of the same dan.]

but now.. look at how happy he is. he is smiling. dan is shining like the sun on a beautiful summer day and is fully embracing his past and his audience.

he doesn't feel the need to crack jokes about whoring it up all over america because he doesnt like commitment or making jabs at his audience for falling for clickbaity 'we are in a relationship'-type titles. he is not resentful anymore. he's not just laughing with us but he is IN on the joke now. he thinks we are funny! and in fact admitted that he doesn't really care about flirting with strangers and is oblivious to being flirted with because he doesnt have any need to.

it seems like he has healed a lot of old wounds regarding his audience. during wad he saw with his own eyes that we arent out to get him but in fact will support him in whatever he's doing. and now this new tour is the victory lap. he's taking phil with him. he is proud to be down bad for his man. 'no fucks left to give' for dan means not putting up the wall anymore protecting his inner child from what it fears are the bullies. he's doing it for himself now, for phil. for them. not for the attention of the wrong people. not for the approval of straight men like those who bullied him. he's doing it for his community of queer people. he knows he's safe here. he trusts us. 'we know you know'. i'm proud of both our community and proud of dnp for that. we really made ourselves get here despite how draining and back-and-forth the hiatus was. maybe the real phan really were the phriends we made along the way <3.

[oriharakaoru]

mukbang thoughts:

i just rewatched because obviously. it's nice to see how excited they were about the ii dvd (and so proud - understandable! huge accomplishment!) but there was also an overall melancholy vibe. like, tour was over. dan was sort of unsure what was next (which he says in the video in regards to his channel and just how tour gave him day-to-day purpose). they talk briefly about dan's breakdown a month before tour started. and obviously it must have just been a HUGE come down after going full-tilt for months and months on tour and then weeks editing the DVD. all the while keeping up the gaming channel (and phil's channel).

but we also know more about the behind the scenes. we know dan was SUPER struggling with his sexuality and coming out. that was the whole reason behind the breakdown. and he talks about emerging from his chrysalis "soon" AND about how he's struggling to live authentically. also pretty clear they knew the hiatus was coming (not how long, just that it was coming. phil doesn't outwardly struggle or allude to his own being in the closet, but we know NOW it did affect him, just differently than dan. and how much more free he feels now. like, phil even made a few gay jokes (the delivery person looked like zac efron etc) but we know those would go 100x harder now.

after the mukbang i watched a much more recent video that was similar in banting tone. i watched viewers roast dan's outfits. the difference in how happy they seemed was super obvious. like clearly they weren't as tired after travelling around the world, but they were just free and open and holding none of themselves back. leaning into the gay on purpose. reveling in it. what a stark contrast to go from pre-coming out content to post-coming out content.

so i guess what i'm saying is, a new mukbang with post-coming energy?? where they spill more tea?? now i'm even MORE hyped.

[thinking-emoji]

Photo-spoiler free PEOPLE article

wonderful article by the amazing Raven Brunner, but it unfortunately includes extremely cute photos of dnp on stage and in their stage outfits. So here's the spoiler free version for all you hardcore spoiler-fighters

Dan Howell and Phil Lester Say Seeing Fans on Tour Now That They're 'Older and Bit Gayer' Has Felt 'Radical and Freeing' (Exclusive)

Dan Howell and Phil Lester are currently one month into the North American leg of their tour Terrible Influence and PEOPLE has an exclusive first look

By Raven Brunner | Published on November 1, 2024 11:00AM EDT

Dan Howell and Phil Lester are cruising through the United States! 

The two British YouTubers are currently one month into the North American leg of their third joint tour Terrible Influence – and PEOPLE has an exclusive first look.

The duo will continue with stops in Chicago, Toronto, New York City, Nashville and more, before bringing their show to Australia in December. 

"Being able to see our audience in real life, now that we're all older ... and we're a bit gayer, feels so radical and freeing," Dan and Phil said in a statement shared with PEOPLE. "We've had so many people joke [that] this tour has felt 'healing' and to see people from all different walks of life feel like they are welcome at our tour makes us so happy."

They added, "Getting to perform a new show that contains so many spicy personal and professional revelations is a thrill. It's truly a DGAF new era and to see people hollering at some of the controversial moments and shedding a tear at the end makes it feel so good every night."

When it comes to traveling the states, the two continued, "The U.S.A. is so huge, we can't believe driving across the middle takes so long. From Texas and the midwest to the upcoming east coast leg - our propaganda is spreading across the nation and we're so happy to be here saving democracy, one brainwashed viewer at a time."

The show sees Dan and Phil on tour together for the first time since their 2018 hiatus from their shared YouTube channel DanandPhilGAMES, during which they both came out as gay and grew their personal brands. During this time, Dan wrote the #1 New York Times bestselling mental health book You Will Get Through This Night and embarked on a solo comedy tour We’re All Doomed, while Phil continued to grow his own YouTube channel AmazingPhil. 

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE ahead of their arrival in the U.S., the two – who have been on YouTube together for over 15 years – spoke about the reactions to their first few shows as they began their tour in September with a stop in Belgium.

"We have had so many funny memes and reactions to it," Phil, 37, told us at the time. "Seeing the buzz on social media the first night we did the show, because no one knew anything about it or what it was going to be, was just a reminder of how hilarious our audience is.”

Dan, 33, added that the show is helping people come to terms with their past and also their future. 

"It has also been amazing seeing all the different kinds of people that come to the show because we have had people that are like, 'I’m old now and identify as a real person' – not someone that spends all their time on YouTube," he said. "All these people have grown up and gone on so many different journeys in the direction of their lives, and yet it feels like they all got to come together and feel like they were welcomed."

Dan continued, "They all got to laugh and feel like they could have some weight taken off their shoulders for who we were, for who they used to be [and] for how scared they should feel about the future. The fact that everyone’s left feeling invigorated about themselves for what the next chapters of their lives could be, I think we are really proud of that."

The new territory of the show also poses new "danger," as Dan said.

Phil has experienced two accidents while working on the show, the first of which occurred during a rehearsal and resulted in a broken rib. Then he fell off the stage during a tour stop in Sweden, after which he wrote on social media, "people think ‘phil is going to fall off the stage’ is an old joke until i actually fall off the stage."

"We joke about this,” Dan explained. “People are like, 'Dan and Phil need to stop exaggerating.' But you don’t even know the extent to which we don’t tell people half the stuff Phil has done."

"I need to be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times," Phil agreed, before adding, "To be fair, it is very dark on the stage. I thought I was leaning over the edge. There was no edge. I did a very stylish barrel roll off the front of the stage and thankfully it wasn’t very high."

He continued, "But the rib was another thing. I won't say much because it'd be a spoiler, but we were rehearsing a very active part of the show and I bent myself in a way I should not have bent myself."

Beyond the challenging physical aspects of the show, Dan noted that the specific scene also includes an emotional element where they are "jokingly being quite confrontational about a lot of things that would have, in the past, been considered sensitive topics – whether it is about us and our audience, or just like people on social media and what this culture is."

As for what the duo enjoys most about touring the United States, Dan quickly noted that "Phil is looking forward to sugar."

"Yeah, I have a sugar issue,” Phil confirmed. "Everything in the U.S. has more sugar in it. So that’s always quite exciting. The pancake stack I am going to get as soon as I arrive in America is going to be legendary."

Dan added, “You’ll find that’s essential. If someone wants a free selfie with Phil, just turn up to the local IHOP at 2 a.m. and see Phil just going, 'More maple syrup.'"

The two shared a story from their 2018 tour Interactive Introverts where their bus broke down "in the middle of Texas" and the only place nearby was a Denny’s. "So we ended up going there having a Breakfast Slam at like 3 a.m. I was like, 'I think I get American culture,' " Dan explained.

"This is it. The Slam,' " Phil added.

Meanwhile, Dan is most looking forward to "bus life."

"A lot of people go, ‘Touring! Don’t you just hate it? Imagine being on a bus cramped up with all those people?' And I’m like, 'I love it.' Get me out of the house," Dan shared. "We are not meant to just be spending all day in our head, being anxious about stuff. We are meant to go outside. And I found that the only way I can do that is to book a tour and commit to dragging myself outside of the house.'

Following their return to YouTube and their joint brand, Dan said that they are living "in this radical present where we are just seeing how things go." However, they are still aware of the demand for them to take on more big projects, particularly in relation to their former jobs as presenters on BBC Radio 1 where they hosted a weekly radio show and interviewed A-list celebrities like Taylor Swift and Fall Out Boy at special events.

"Yeah, that was really fun," Phil recalled. "I think there was a lot of anxiety for me doing the radio because you have to press a lot of buttons, you are live – so I can say anything. Anyone knows that me, unfiltered and live, is a dangerous mix, especially when you are the BBC."

Dan added, "People keep asking us. They are like 'Dan and Phil, we need you to get back doing these presenting jobs. You want to come back? Do the radio, do this award show.' We are like, 'Oh, my! Maybe we’ll do it for the people.' "

He continued to note that people are also "begging" him to return to his solo YouTube channel, but for now, they are focused on the tour. 

"This Dan and Phil comeback was so lowkey," Dan said. "Literally we had no plan for it. Phil was like, 'Just sit down, play The Sims, play a little card game,' and it is the most light, casual content ever. People were so enthusiastic about it and now they are like, 'What is the future?' People are begging us to do radio, they want us to do a podcast, they want us to do all this other stuff that their favorite YouTubers are doing. So now, we are like, 'Okay, we hear you, Dan and Phil 2.0 when we get back from this tour.' Honestly, it sounds like a threat."

"Yeah," Phil agreed. "What is it going to be? We are not sure but we are excited about it."

Tickets for Terrible Influence are now on sale.

[dnpbeats]

so much about why dan loves phil and how phil changed him but what about how phil loves dan??

Okay. When I first read this ask I was like "I got nothing" lol. now obviously not because I think phil doesn't love dan, clearly I believe that he does. but you'll notice that everything I said in my dan loving gremlin phil post was based on things that dan has said. and when it comes to phil, that man is SILENT!! he keeps his mouth shut. so I was like I have nothing to extrapolate from here. but! then I realized that's not true!! bc I think phil is very obvious with his actions!

and honestly just the fact that phil lets us see how much he loves dan through his actions speaks volumes in and of itself. because phil has said so many times that he's a private person, wants to keep any relationship he has private, etc., and I think he's proved that he's serious about that based on the fact that he hasn't said jack shit about dan in the way that dan has said stuff about him.

and yet, phil SHOWS so much how he cares for dan!!! and he says things that allow us to read between the lines! like phil buying the japan tickets and surprising dan with them in 2015. we know that dan is not an impulsive person at all and likes everything to be meticulously planned out. phil knew dan was never gonna bite the bullet so phil was just like "well this is a thing that's happening now" (see also: 2009, phil telling dan to buy tickets to come visit him for the first time and 2023, phil making dan come back to the gaming channel because he knew it would be enjoyable for him again). he just knows dan so well and loves him sm that he doesn't let dan stand in the way of his own happiness. and even though phil is private he allows us see how much he cares for dan, he doesn't try to hide it at all

and then just things like. phil telling the bbc he wanted dan to do the radio show with him. phil calling dan up on stage at the boncas. phil just randomly mentioning dan on his channel(/having dan be there) while giving no context bc at this point he expects everyone to just Know who dan is. phil talking about how proud he is of dan and his book at the end of the hair cutting video bc he knew dan wouldn't let him get away with saying that shit in front of him but he just had to say it.

okay and in terms how dan has changed him/bettered him. I do not think phil was necessarily an unconfident person/struggled in the same way dan did but like obviously everyone is gonna have their own insecurities. but I really truly believe that dan just, lets phil be phil. I was rewatching some of the ditl videos the other day, and in the manchester ditl there's the iconic "phil's in his own little world again" with the fondest laugh ever. but then! london ditl, dan saying yes phil should go climb on the lion and then filming him running over to it (and then being annoyed at the guy who told phil to get off LMAO). japan ditl dan telling phil to go run over towards the bird. do you catch my drift? like phil's a lil quirky but dan doesn't love him in spite of it he loves him because of it!! he encourages phil's phil-isms bc he loves them! and then also just little things like when phil swallowed the glue and dan knew he was anxious so he talked with the paramedic and then texted phil everything that they said and that he was gonna be fine!! I think dan is probably a voice of reassurance for phil a lot. like they just both know each other so well and they know exactly what the other needs, yk?

sorry that I let this sit in my ask box for almost a week anon I just had a lot of thoughts to collect but yeah <3 that's all

[danhowellz]

i genuinely can't put into words how beautiful gorgeous stunning delicious Dan's nose is it makes me want to weep like it's so beautiful and gorgeous he should be so proud of it I love boys with big noses and i hope he loves his nose half as much as i do i hope phil tells him every day now beautiful his nose is its one of the 8th wonders of the world carved from marble and sculpted so delicately the attention to detail is stunning i want to study it and look at it and write a 3000 word essay on it because words don't even come close to describing how much i adore it i hope he realises it's one of his best features if not his best and i don't say that lightly because i love everything about him but his nose is really the star of the show, the stand out, the number one he should be honoured and proud of how much joy and happiness his nose has brought to people like me

[maicrowave]

it makes me really happy when dan and phil are proud of "dan and phil" traditions.

a lot of people unfamiliar with the fandom (outside of dan's coming out story) like to claim that fans ruined everything for them by forcing them to do stuff together and create this brand.

that's just not true. creepy people did stalk them and try to speculate about their personal life with "proof". but dan and phil fully embraced their joint brand and made things they were proud of totally in parallel to that drama. no one forced them to make a gaming channel or go on tour together. they liked working with each other!!!

this false narrative that all dan and phil content was fabricated out of some awful "fandom has them at gunpoint" situation is so (1) sad and mean because it disregards the quality of their content, writing it off as forced and inauthentic and (2) totally disconnected from what they've said; they love working together as much as their audience loves the vibes!

[purpurussy]

hi. once you mentioned your thoughts on the take that phil stayed in the closet for dan. could you share it again with the class again. sorry

⚠️ Dan and Phil DNI⚠️

dsfhjjkl I fear I'm not well-educated enough on the lore to have an accurate take. and it's really the notion that he "went back in the closet" for dan that bothers me. but I'll try to explain how I see it and people can feel free to link me to the vitally important receipts that I'm missing here which change the whole narrative lmao

the thing is I don't think it was 100% because of dan. i do think phil would have come out sooner if dan had been in a better headspace with everything, but imo it's not entirely accurate to say that phil would have been out and proud on youtube the entire time otherwise because as far as I can tell, he wasn't ever in that position 😭 would an out and proud man have made snokoplasm.

I think phil was referring to himself as bi on myspace but so was dan back in the day. and I think id'ing as bi in a setting where you don't expect that many people to see it beyond your personal network is a very different kettle of fish from being completely vulnerable and honest about your identity as a full-on celebrity. Phil has also told anecdotes that make me feel like he had 1 foot in the closet and 1 foot out in some ways (eg auditioning for big brother and then being terrified that they'd post his audition tape bc he said he was gay and then instantly regretted it, getting outed to his family by a friend when he was in college and having an awful time with that whole situation) and I certainly haven't seen anything that would lead me to believe he was ever really out as gay (and proud) on youtube at any point before 2019. Phil has also alluded to experiencing internalized homophobia/feeling like there was something wrong with him for being gay, and I feel like people gloss over that since it wasn't as severe as Dan's experiences.

so I don't think it's entirely accurate to say phil "went back in the closet" for dan firstly because I don't think he was ever fully out of the closet until 2019. he was certainly not out and proud with 0 caveats. like he never said it with his whole chest until coty.

then there's the fact that there can be real-world consequences to coming out which can be hard to predict or manage. things are a little different now but I can imagine it would have been tough trying to do a risk-benefit analysis of coming out when they were working with the BBC, trying to get things like world tours and book deals off the ground, and also I think they were probably not hugely financially secure back then (especially very early on/around the time they moved to London). like this is pure conjecture, but I can imagine it could have been tough to come out as gay, not knowing if you'd be inadvertently tanking a career opportunity because oh never mind we already have an openly gay radio presenter on this show and we don't need 2 more, or oh no don't do that because then we'll have to cancel the shows in Russia and Malaysia or whatever ykwim? (I assumed this was also part of the reason why dan had a breakdown about wanting to come out before II started but again that's based on nothing lmao)

now that I'm thinking about nick grimshaw coming out as gay in 2012 and co-hosting the radio show with them I feel like I'm connecting some dots but again this is just me yapping. I remember finding out he was gay back then and I vaguely remember people posting about feeling "betrayed" or being otherwise homophobic towards him but I can't remember whether the general reaction was positive or negative at the time. I also feel like there's something to be said for the fact that a lot of actors/people in situations like this feel like they're competing against other members of their marginalized community, because they can't both be hired for 2 different important roles because there can only be 1 token gay/poc or whatever. anyway food for thought I guess

I also think it's easy to assume Phil was just chilling the entire time since he plays his cards a lot closer to his chest than Dan. he doesn't like to talk about stuff like this as openly as dan and i think that results in us focusing a lot more on Dan's experiences (which makes sense since that's the information we have to work with, but still). he's hinted that it was rough for him to deal with the speculation about them and their relationship back in the day as well, and while I'm the last person to encourage people to start self-flagellating for the demon era, I do think it's worth considering that it can't have been easy for Phil either (I mean it was his face and words in the v-day video. I would have probably been institutionalized if that happened to me I'm just saying. the factors that led to dans no homo era can't have been easy for Phil to deal with either)

point is I think there were a lot of factors that kept them both in the closet. I do agree of course that Phil would've come out sooner if it weren't for dan needing to work through his issues before he was ready to come out (Phil has certainly said as much) but I don't think it's the only reason. I think it was certainly a show of the trust and respect he has for dan that he waited for Dan to be ready in the end, but I also think it's inaccurate when people talk as though dan singlehandedly kept Phil in no homo jail for 10 years and he would've been out and proud the entire time if Dan hadn't had a mountain of trauma and internalized homophobia to work through before he was ready to come out (which as dan himself has said, may have been a lot sooner than 2019, but there were other factors that kept him from being able to do that first)

[azuphere]

ten of pentacles: success, accomplishment, permanence, domestic bliss, wealth, financial stability, and solid foundations. despite any setbacks and challenges, everything will work out in the end. all your effort will eventually pay off and you will be proud of your accomplishments. your legacy will stand for a long way to come.  (sources: 1, 2, 3) 

my submission for @dnptarot, long explanation under the cut!

comparison with the original/most common design for the 'ten of pentacles' card [example on the left]:

so bc the card centres around accomplishments and a sense of permanency, i rlly wanted to include the phouse somehow - especially the selfie they took when everything in the living room was already set up and they were no longer #boxboys

and in the 'original' tarot card design, the foreground in front of the archway includes a wealthy old man who's accomplishments provided financial security to his family + future generations, and there are family emblems and flags on the wall

so for my card, instead of showing literal generational wealth, the foreground is used to pay homage to a bunch of their old projects/accomplishments - like their tours, awards, radio show, etc. so i like to think of it as past!dnp setting the way for current!dnp to live comfortably and 'everything working out in the end'

and the 'original' card having two dogs was the Perfect reason to include a shiba inu and corgi. and i also had to include the golden pig, seal, and lion and lioness, cause they're literally part of the phamily

and the 'original' card also includes grapevines and moons as symbols, so i incorporated the grapevines on the walls and their clothes. and the moons are incorporated in the moon-inspired rug (which is also a throwback to dan's moon rug which looked dif), and in the pentacle design where each pentacle is a dif moon phase

and the pride over their accomplishments also being represented by them wearing their own merch - dan in the wad merch, and phil in the glitch hoodie. and the green pants were originally inspired by their dapg pyjamas, but i incorporated the grapes instead

and current!dnp being in the background means that i like to think of it as their 'journey' not being over yet. like there are still projects in the works, represented by the tablet/notebook on the sofa and phil's glitch merch originally saying 'to be continued'

and some extra details that are less obvious:

the blue box on the sofa represents the box from the tatinof/tabinof reveal trailer, as another way to represent dnp's relationship with their audience and how their legacy will continue to live on

in the wall mural, i wanted to incorporate truth bombs somehow, so i used ba-bomb (which they have a plushie/statue of in their gaming channel room) with a lil "T" on top. in the same panel, all the lil lines is meant to represent danandphilbeats cause the lines are based on the spotify code for their artist page

i wanted to incorporate their japan trips somehow, so instead of doing the bamboo painting (cause. i couldn't figure out how to draw it sdjfs), i did a pair of koi fish instead. and idk if this goes against standard tarot rules, but since the meaning of the tarot card is different when the card is pulled upside-down, the koi fish will still be upright regardless. so bc koi fish can represent good luck, perseverance, and balance, i like to think of it as a hopeful sign even when the card is upside-down <3

[emotoangel]

okay I’m going on a little ineffable phannie rant read at your own gut wrenching discretion bc I can’t lie this shit’s about to get parasocial

because it’s not just Dan and Phil dressed as Crowley and Aziraphale, is it?

it’s Dan and Phil, who have struggled with their sexualities for years. closeted, faced every speculation under the sun when it comes to their own sexualities, the other’s sexuality, their relationship, their legitimacy, if they’re queerbaiting or not, being OUT. OUT and dressed as two canonically gay men in love with each other, two men who would see the world burn to know the other was safe. two men who helped stop the end of the world so they could be together.

a man who is bitter and cold and a little bit bad (but not evil I would say, though he might try to make you believe he is) and a man who is love and light and exclusively good (or so he’d like you to believe). and am I talking about Dan and Phil there, or am I talking about Crowley and Aziraphale?

it’s about these two men who, even 5 years ago, feared the word ‘gay’. it’s about how Dan, Mr Commitmentphobe, Mr I Can’t Even Commit To A Pet, Mr Soulmates Are Not A Thing That Exist, bought a costume, and sprayed (or, fucking hell god help me DYED) his hair red, and posted a cute picture of him and his ranch partner/4000 year old tortoise/companion through life/actual soulmate and TAGGED IT INEFFABLE HUSBANDS.

it’s a couples costume!!! it’s impossible for it not to be, considering they are two of the most well known canonically in love gay men on the internet right now!! it’s a thank you to their little phannies online who make them feel safe and comfortable enough to do what they do every day. and it’s a shoutout to the progress they have made in 15 years. a ‘hey, we’re here, we’re happy and gay and (in love) together’. and that’s SOO SPECIAL. ITS SO SPECIAL. and it means everything!!!!

AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THE ONE PHOTO.

it’s the selfie on the story of them cute and couply and drinking the aziracrow drinks and looking happy and in love 😭

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CAT AND BEAR SAVE THE WORLD VS HOWLEY AND AZIRAPHIL ARE HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD

anyway basically I’m so insanely proud of them, feeling very parasocial about the progress they’ve made in 15 years to get to a point where they’re comfortable enough to make phwedding jokes and gay jokes and jokes about both being switches and furries and in love. feeling so proud of them being out and proud and gay and in love and also I have a good omens tattoo so I’m choosing to believe they did this for me personally thank you x

[alittledizzy]

I really do think Dan and Phil are, in retrospect, some of the most successful creators. I don't mean in terms of subscribers or numbers, or even always in the type of content. I mean "successful" in the sense that they figured out the game. They partnered with each other, stuck together, figured out their fanbase, created a small empire that lasted YEARS, used that success to do things they wanted to do like the tours, live shows, books, etc, and can now come and go as they please. They won.

This is absolutely correct. And not only did they figure out in terms of self-awareness for their audience, they figured it out in terms of how they can best benefit from an audience. They had enough insight and control to understand that they could walk away, that many people would forget about them, but not everyone would. That they could be happier mentally and in their life by purposefully narrowing their audience down. And they did, and it worked, it worked so much that now they're at a point where they're okay shaking things up a little by inserting themselves as a pair back into the heart of things. I'm just so proud of them for being so goddamn mature about everything, and also for prioritizing themselves over the cash grab/ego boost of higher numbers.

[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)