#so proud of Dan and Phil for coming out

[nothoughtsonlytrance]

Hey guys! I usually don’t post something like this, but I thought I might as well anyway, in honor of the 5th anniversary of Dan’s coming out video.

So I mentioned in a previous post in an answer to @demonqueenart that I am pansexual. I’ve known this since around the time that Dan and Phil came out back in 2019. I was in community college at the time, and it was my first time in a public school setting. Before then, I had been to private schools throughout elementary, middle, and high school, and there wasn’t a lot of diversity in terms of how people expressed themselves due to the restrictions and dress codes that the schools enforced. So I never really had a way to express myself in terms of clothing styles and stuff like that. I thought I was straight when I was in high school, and I was already an ally because I had a few close friends or classmates who were LGBTQ, and I accepted them no matter what, (and I was taught growing up that we are called to show kindness and love to others no matter who they were) but it was kinda kept on the down low because it was considered taboo, especially since our highschool was a Christian high school.

When I finally entered community college in 2018, I was astounded by the diversity of people there and the way that people expressed themselves, whether it was by their clothing style, their gender identity, sexuality, etc. And I realized that some of the people who were there were really attractive. And it didn’t matter whether they identified as male, female, nonbinary, or whatever. I never did ask anyone out (cuz I’m a HUGE coward, lol), But I knew that it didn’t matter who the person I’d eventually date was as long as we had a connection, treated each other and others kindly, had a wonderful personality, and had things in common. Questioning my sexuality was one of the many shower thoughts I had lol

I remember scrolling through TikTok as well and seeing the countless ways that people expressed their identities, and it made me feel like I could be that way too. (Literally remember seeing a cosplayer’s version of Cat-ra from She-ra Princess of Power and blushing madly and thinking, “Wait, why am I blushing, why am I feeling this way?!”, haha)

I didn’t see Dan and Phil’s coming out videos until a little while later, but they touched my heart in so many ways when I did. Dan’s “Gay and Not Proud” video also helped me through my journey. So many quotes from the video spoke to me, especially the part when his spiritual subconscious told him,

“Depressed little emo Dan, it wasn’t his fault. Don’t hate him, don’t hate yourself…you have a lot to be proud of.”

Being proud of myself had kinda been a challenge, even to this day. Especially since there has been so much panphobia and harmful stereotypes surrounding pansexuality. Even when people mention different types of sexualities, rarely do they mention pansexuality, and it makes me wonder if I am valid too. I’ve been out to very few people, other than a few friends that I know will accept me, and I’m out to my sister and mother. Most of my extended family is LGBTQ accepting, but at the same time, I’m not sure when I should tell them, especially since I’m not really dating anyone at the moment and I’m kinda nervous about what questions they’ll ask if I do come out. I hope to eventually, tho.

I really do hope one day, I find the right person for me. I’ve never been asked out before, never had my first kiss, or even been on my first date. So no dating experience whatsoever, lol. It’s been really frustrating because so many of my friends and other people my age (early-mid 20s) have been going on dates, finding their soulmates, getting married etc. And it honestly makes me jealous because no one has ever said “I love you” to me in a romantic way. I truly do wish I find someone who loves me for who I am because I don’t want to die alone. I want to eventually start dating, but there’s of course always the risk of catfishing, and I don’t want my heart to be broken at the same time. So it’s been complicated, to say the least.

Well, that was a bit of a rant, but that's the end of it, haha. I hope this message finds you all well. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey, and there will always be people out there who care about you. And if you’re not able to come out just yet, just know that things will get better. I promise. Thank you so much for reading, and if you have any questions, feel free to leave an ask or reply!

I also (one last thing) wanna say a big THANK YOU to all the people who have liked and reblogged my Dan and Phil edits as well as my music. I’ve been getting better and better at using CapCut and GarageBand IOS (yes, I make the music and videos on my phone bc that’s all I can afford to work with, lol. Does it eat up my data? Yes. Do I care? No.), But each time I see that someone liked or reblogged one of my works, it makes me so happy and motivates me to keep going. So I really appreciate it!

More edits and posts will be coming soon, so stay tuned!

-Kristy, aka nothoughts_onlytrance

[syncedpheriods]

thinking about how a bit ago dan had a weird day and straightened his hair, then went to show phil and they both agreed it wasn't right anymore. transforming into a new person while still trying to cling onto old comforts that don't feel right anymore!! older versions of yourself being unrecognisable to you!! you can never go back!!

[crunchytoast1]

Hello tumblr phannies. To celebrate the 7th anniversary of the LADYDOOR remix, I'm doing a YouTube charity livestream for Heal Palestine on December 28th 5pm EST (IN 2 DAYS)!!

Tune in to youtube.com/crunchytoast1 and come PARTY 🎉 (like it's 2017/Interactive Introverts 2018) in the LADYDOOR 🚺🚪…charity livestream for Heal Palestine ❤️🇵🇸

I'll be hosting a watch party of my old Dan and Phil edits plus many more surprises and fun times

*hint: -bespoke- Roblox level, "we have sister daniel at home", & more!!!

If you can't make it or Silly Phandom Meme Hour circa 2017 isn't your vibe (completely fair, totally understand lol) there will be a donation feature directly to the charity during the stream and I'll make it ongoing on the archive! Every bit counts!! Or check out Heal Palestine's website to donate directly now!! ❤️🇵🇸

[420dannie]

THE ENERGY IN THE NEW VIDEO. i say this every time but gawddd it feels so good to see them so happy and so comfortable 😭😭😭 especially knowing it was intended to be the end but here they are 5 year later back and so much happier then they or we could have ever imagined :,) hearing them say how different it felt, how excited they are for the future when there was a point in time they didn’t think they’d ever want that again, its just so special. for them to be willingly opening the door to a place that was once closed so tight and pried into time and time again, is something i never thought would happen and im just so happy they are finally doing it for THEM, because they want to

[thatsmistertoyou]

maybe a hot take idk

look I know many people are upset about the pricing/fee situation of the TIT livestream (me included, I was pissed as hell that I got a large surprise fee), and I hope everything gets sorted out. I’m proud of the phandom for being loud and demanding fairness from the platform. you will not get shit past us.

I understand that. however, I completely disagree with some opinions I’ve seen (mainly on twitter but whatever) that charging for the stream at all is greedy, especially for people who have already paid to see the show. this is a weird take imo because this stream is supposed to be an opportunity for people who didn’t get to go to see it with an audience as a communal experience. but if you already spent money and don’t want to spend more, don’t!

and I don’t know anything about anything but based on the very little information dnp have provided about the cost of touring, I really don’t think they have the option to just do the stream for free. this is just my opinion, but based on how dan said he lost money touring WAD, i would not be surprised if the livestream paid for the rights he needed to release it for free on YouTube (and the extremely important rights to play All Star in the credits). just because he wrote and performed it doesn’t mean he owned it. it would not surprise me at all if the profits from the stream don’t go to dnp only.

and also, Things Cost Money, including livestreams. I think the platform has really showed their ass, but if we remove them from the equation for a second - everyone who put on TIT, including Dan and Phil, deserve to be compensated for their work. I don’t expect them to bleed money into this project forever just because it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m sure they’re doing just fine financially, but they are not and never have asked anyone to take food off their table to support them.

I actually find it really disheartening to see just how many people were like, legitimately, personally angry with dnp before they had even had a chance to respond to our concerns. I’ve been around long enough to remember when they announced TABINOF, there was an uproar about how they were sellouts because they were writing a book just like every other youtuber, making a shitty cashgrab when they had nothing to say. in the 2 days before we knew what the book would even be about, the Discourse had never been more annoying or mean spirited.

and it made me wonder, what are yall doing here if you assume the worst like that? have you just been waiting for the masks to slip? are you appalled that they participate in the heinous capitalistic act of selling their labor like everyone else? have your years of support not earned a little bit of grace when there’s a miscommunication?

I’m not saying approach everything like ‘they’ve never done anything wrong once in their whole lives and never will’, but the vitriol that seems to come out at minor fuck ups is alarming. some of yall do not like them and it shows. (I am looking directly at twitter dot com now)

I find that attitude really sad. after the TABINOF drama, I promised myself I’d never lose sleep over phandom nonsense again, so I’m going to bed, just had to get some thoughts out there. 💙

[astradyke]

please never stop talking about loverboy phil

anon i do everything for you

thinking abt how phil was there when dan dropped out of law school. thinking abt how phil argued to bring dan on the jamaica trip that dan was not supposed to be on originally so phil could be with him. thinking about how dan comes to the lesters for the holidays, "tagged along to a lester thing", how dan came to phil's family home and how phil's family accepted dan with open arms. how hyper and annoying dan is in some of the younger era videos (like old cooking videos, the tree etc) and how it makes phil smile. how phil bought him a tonberry and bought him that fancy candle and won him a plush from a claw machine. how phil keeps bringing up dan's solo work not even just in the videos focused on them (think haircut vid, dan is leaving me, etc) but in all other videos-- like dan's book kept getting brought up by phil. an underrated moment in wdapteo 2 that i think about CONSTANTLY is the fact that at the end phil plugs some of dan's merch too and does his little smile as he does. "for treating us with your presence". how in the date night video when asked what animal dan would be phil immediately went with bear. wdapteo 3 where phil is wearing one of dan's viewers pick my outfit sweaters, and how we would see years later that phil took like 100 silly photos of dan in the minion fit from that video (which proves my belief that half of phil's camera roll is just dan). how dan walks faster and ahead of phil but phil takes photos while dan is walking like the one in türkiye. how phil made him spaghetti when he was ill. how constantly phil talks about dan needing to wear color. him hyping up gay but not proud (and also BEING in gay but not proud). him being in the audience of dan's one off comedy routine about being gay. him being in the we're all doomed audience. him probably being dan's first subscriber. love eyes lester which is SO LETHAL it's so lethal. how dan will ramble and get annoyed at phil and phil will just giggle and laugh. phil playing with dan's hair. "you > everyone in the universe." the recent press the button video where phil said (when given the option to live forever alongside all of his now immortal loved ones) that dan would be immortal. "i haven't seen you for 10 hours i wanted to tell you about my lexicon". texting dan nonsense in wdapteo 4 for 3 days straight and not receiving a reply and pouting about it. taking the photo outside his window when dan asked to see if he could see him. being endlessly the no.1 sister daniel fan, accepting dan's experimentation with sister daniel relentlessly. there's so many more. there's so many more.

i'm really normal about htis by the way.

[ingydar-phan]

Ok I do want to chime in on the convo but actually this is gonna be really long because I’ve been planning to make a huge post about this since the tour trailer came out. Like genuinely I messaged some people asking for tips on how to make a big conversation post weeks ago and then just never did it. So here goes I guess.

I am a firm believer they are going to hard launch soon. In some way shape or form. Before tour starts. That is a stance I have held ever since I watched pizza mukbang 2. And I have explanations.

My main points come from the coming out parallel surrounding Dans internalized homophobia and trauma responses and fear of rejection (more on that later), and also my hypothesized “3 stages” of the gaming channel revival.

I believe that when the gaming channel was revived, starting with the Heartthrob video, they entered stage 1: experimenting with audiences desire for a return to content. This was a phase they themselves discussed in Dans Birthday Stream and in Pizza Mukbang 2. The first few months were experimenting with what a new audience would look like and how much they were wanted, in what contexts, and what kind of content. I also think this wraps into the dynamic difference between Dan and Phil as people. Note, I love them both dearly and want nothing but the best for them both. It has been made clear that they did very different things during the hiatus, with Phil initiating the gaming channel comeback. Before Dan came out, he was under an immense feeling of guilt and pressure, even by his own mind. He had the option of leaving the internet forever, and he certainly considered it. Finish off the gaming channel, go on one last tour, and leave. Never having to adress anything again. But he didn’t do that. He came back. He came out. And he was greeted with the kindest, warmest, most accepting response. And he did work! He wrote a book! He went on a solo tour! And to echo both Dan himself and all of the community, he needed this. He needed this time of healing and this era of self discovery. He wouldn’t be who he is today without it, and I’m so proud of him.

But Phil? Oh Phil was just cruising along. That’s not at all to discredit any form of hardship Phil went through, but it certainly wasn’t the same. Phil was making content before Dan was, back in 2006. In uni, Phil was comfortable in his sexuality (or some form of queerness). But he waited. He waited to come out until Dan was ready. Because he’s a wonderful partner. He was happy continuing Amazingphil regardless of hiatus, of Dans needs, because he knew he didn’t have to pressure Dan into anything he didn’t want or wasn’t ready for. And then, presumably when Dan was ready, Phil proposed a gaming channel comeback. Just try it out, just see how it feels, low commitment. And what happened? Once again, they were showered with love and adoration and support and acceptance. Was the fandom different than how it used to be? Absolutely. But it was beautiful and loving. So that’s stage 1. Experimenting with content and viewership and re-entering the branding of Dan and Phil (Games).

Then, I believe after stage 1 came stage 2. Experimenting with audience reaction to Dan and Phil as a couple. I want to stake my claim here that everything they do is meticulously curated. Sure, Phil’s toe popping out of his sock wasn’t purposeful, but it was certainly handled intentionally. They’re extremely seasoned creators, and everything they do is for a reason. (That’s why I love rpf hehe). This, my “stage 2”, is when they were dipping their toes more into phan stuff. The orange heart. The “gay” community tab. Using the “ph-“ prefix THEMSELVES a lot more. Dab and Evan comparisons. This was the middle ground. How would people react? Would they turn away because it’s too much? Would they begin stalking and creeping all over again? Or would they accept these people for what they are. As much as people like to think Dan and Phil are just silly whimsical guys who are perfect no matter what they do (which is accurate as well tbf), they also know what they’re doing. They do these things on purpose to gauge audience reaction, to see how people feel about it. As others have said, what we see publicly is just a tiny sliver of their real life. Yea, even the domestic videos. It’s curated. And it’s wonderful. It’s so endearing they choose to share these things. Even in times of uncertainty. But that uncertainty was met with absolute acceptance.

Which is how we get into stage 3. I think “stage 3” started developing around the time of Dans Birthday Stream, but really actually started when the tour trailer was posted, and then all the videos after that (pizza mukbang, dressing each other, chained together, tiktoks, etc etc). So, very recently. But something shifted. Maybe it’s in the air, maybe it’s just me, maybe we all need to go outside. But something shifted. Dan and Phil, but especially Dan, saw how they were being accepted and took that as an affirmation. An affirmation that everything is going to be okay. They can commit now. They can go full on. Full hard launch.

I think everyone has a different definition of hard launch, and even I think it varies by context. But what I mean here is not necessarily them making some video called “Dan and Phil are romantically together” and staring at the camera with a gun to their head. It doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have to be that.

Straight people get this privilege of being assumed straight without having to “come out”. They get this comfort of having relationships without having to scream it in everyone’s faces.

And I do indeed agree with what people mean when they say they have already hard launched. They’re husbands, soulmates, 4000 year old tortoises, “basically any other gay couple”, more than just romantic, yea. I get it. But people are fucking stupid. Non-queer people don’t understand nuance, and need everything handed to them on a silver platter. Dan and Phil are together. People who try to twist and turn to try and “prove” they’re anything but a committed romantic and sexual relationship are ignorant at best, but mainly using homophobic wishful thinking. However, there’s more to go. There’s a reason we’re all “terrified” for what is to come. Because everything, the past 15 years of all of our lives, of their life, is coming together. It’s genuinely beautiful.

So what do I mean by hard launch then? Well, I mean a lack of censorship (besides what’s reasonable. Though we’d all love to see them fuck on YouTube, I’m not sure that’s happening any time soon). I mean a lack of shame. A lack of hiding. And it’s already begun. That’s what I feel stage 3 to be and have been. In pizza mukbang 2, they say things such as “cheers dear”, which is intentional. The “gay uncles” and the “kneeing” is all intentional. It’s not just throwaway jokes, it’s them looking us in the eyes and saying “we see you”. I have a whole list of stage 3 things. The intentional Incohearant cards. The “my face hurts from smiling” comments. THE HANDS ON THE SHOULDER TO THE HAND ON THE KNEE. Them being so open about their secluded romantic holiday. The relentless Phil bottom jokes. The yaoi day tweet from the outfits video. The “who would jump for you like that dog jumped for that man” “you”. It’s all there. It’s all intentional. And I’m so grateful for it.

One of my mutuals who I talked about this with (not gonna name cuz idk if they want me to) talked about their theory that DNP have given barely any info about tour because it requires some form of hard launch to preface it. And honestly? I didn’t even realize that was a theory. I sort of already accepted that as fact. How open IS the door gonna be?

So yea, I hope this makes sense. Please feel free to respond with or send asks of any nuances or questions or theories you’d like to add. I don’t intend this to be shaming anyone who thinks differently. Even if I may vehemently disagree with someone in my head, I don’t think these people are evil or malicious or objectively bad or deserving of hate. These are just my thoughts. I’ll likely be adding more. Thanks for reading.

[littlestormofmess]

HAPPY TERRIBLE INFLUENCE DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE !!! 💙

the wait for the digital premiere of this show was absolutely worth it, i had an amazing time and i'm sosososo proud of dan, phil and their team !!!

i did this little photocard redraw months ago so i could print it as a sticker for myself but i still love how it turned out! below you will find (drumroll) my so called titfits featuring my, i'd like to think, miraculously mostly readable handwriting?? hopefully?? a rare traditional fran doodle cause i simply could Not wip out some digital art after staring at my screen hipnotized by los danifil for like. 4 hours

i wish i could tell y'all to expect more dnp and terrible influence fanart soon but my vacations are coming to an end and idk how often i'm gonna be able to draw for fun when classes start back up😭 but i do want to make more phanart so i'll try my best !! hope you like it !!! 💙 💙 💙

OH AND ALSO (whispering) bless scorpioobviously on twitch for streaming the whole thing for those of us who couldn't afford it 😭😭😭 and @/manchesterau for sharing it here, otherwise i wouldn't have ever found it !!! even when i start looking for links like half an hour before the show starts, phannies save the day as always 💕

[amid-fandoms]

i only vividly remember dan's video dropping during my shift when i was abroad working in america. i cried at work and my manager, bless her, asked me what was the matter so i had to explain that "a person i care for very much just came out" and she got all fond about it, started telling me about how one of her group friends came out a while ago and they threw him a party, which made me even more emotional cause she was like 60+ years old. i'm not sure if i watched the full video during my break at my house or after work hours, but i just remember absolutely sobbing for the entire day and being unable to function or think about anything else

phil's coming out video is a fever dream, i don't remember where i was, what i was doing, but 'phil gay' was the only norm that day, week and following months and a mantra that was repeated everywhere at the time (or at least in the dnp instagram community) and that's all that's stuck in my memory from back then

I want to know where you were and what you were doing when these two videos came out

[phanomenology]

bc dan acts SOO different now compared to wad. sth mustve really clicked in him after doing a solo tour. go watch any video/stream now from that era (ideally not dd bc that was a hightly conceptual character apparently) and you can see that he was trying so hard to be seen as someone else. to get approval from the wrong crowd, as he recently talked about dont get me wrong, i love wad the show itself, but you have to admit that dan hadnt really decided who he wanted to be seen as yet (in a post-coming out, post-phouse univers) before he went on tour, so the person he was during that era reflected that.

it was very hard for me to distinguish the dystopia daily persona to his usual online character because he hadnt really shown enough of that (at the time, post-coming out, mid-hiatus) to be distinguishable from his pre-pandemic, pre-ywgttn depressed lol xd dan character. he just wasnt around a lot. [i think thats what he got wrong with dd. he thought we knew him better than we did at the time but he also wanted to establish his independence from the dnp branding which unfortunately expressed himself as a form of resentment against people who still associated him with that (us phannies). this is why it felt regressive and made me sad, because the dd character seemed like an old, unhappier version of the same dan.]

but now.. look at how happy he is. he is smiling. dan is shining like the sun on a beautiful summer day and is fully embracing his past and his audience.

he doesn't feel the need to crack jokes about whoring it up all over america because he doesnt like commitment or making jabs at his audience for falling for clickbaity 'we are in a relationship'-type titles. he is not resentful anymore. he's not just laughing with us but he is IN on the joke now. he thinks we are funny! and in fact admitted that he doesn't really care about flirting with strangers and is oblivious to being flirted with because he doesnt have any need to.

it seems like he has healed a lot of old wounds regarding his audience. during wad he saw with his own eyes that we arent out to get him but in fact will support him in whatever he's doing. and now this new tour is the victory lap. he's taking phil with him. he is proud to be down bad for his man. 'no fucks left to give' for dan means not putting up the wall anymore protecting his inner child from what it fears are the bullies. he's doing it for himself now, for phil. for them. not for the attention of the wrong people. not for the approval of straight men like those who bullied him. he's doing it for his community of queer people. he knows he's safe here. he trusts us. 'we know you know'. i'm proud of both our community and proud of dnp for that. we really made ourselves get here despite how draining and back-and-forth the hiatus was. maybe the real phan really were the phriends we made along the way <3.

[oriharakaoru]

mukbang thoughts:

i just rewatched because obviously. it's nice to see how excited they were about the ii dvd (and so proud - understandable! huge accomplishment!) but there was also an overall melancholy vibe. like, tour was over. dan was sort of unsure what was next (which he says in the video in regards to his channel and just how tour gave him day-to-day purpose). they talk briefly about dan's breakdown a month before tour started. and obviously it must have just been a HUGE come down after going full-tilt for months and months on tour and then weeks editing the DVD. all the while keeping up the gaming channel (and phil's channel).

but we also know more about the behind the scenes. we know dan was SUPER struggling with his sexuality and coming out. that was the whole reason behind the breakdown. and he talks about emerging from his chrysalis "soon" AND about how he's struggling to live authentically. also pretty clear they knew the hiatus was coming (not how long, just that it was coming. phil doesn't outwardly struggle or allude to his own being in the closet, but we know NOW it did affect him, just differently than dan. and how much more free he feels now. like, phil even made a few gay jokes (the delivery person looked like zac efron etc) but we know those would go 100x harder now.

after the mukbang i watched a much more recent video that was similar in banting tone. i watched viewers roast dan's outfits. the difference in how happy they seemed was super obvious. like clearly they weren't as tired after travelling around the world, but they were just free and open and holding none of themselves back. leaning into the gay on purpose. reveling in it. what a stark contrast to go from pre-coming out content to post-coming out content.

so i guess what i'm saying is, a new mukbang with post-coming energy?? where they spill more tea?? now i'm even MORE hyped.

[acevegangymnast]

hello phannies. since TIT london is happening this weekend, i thought i would make a post looking back at WAD london in 2022 (fun fact: these shows were also in the london palladium). this was a very significant time in my journey as a phannie because it occurred within the first month of watching dnp's videos (for context: my first video was dnp finally tell the truth and i watched it around the time it was posted on sep 7 - i think i may have seen it in either my youtube recommended or the trending page) and joining the phandom on tumblr. i literally had no idea how insane what happened during WAD london 2022 was when i first experienced it because at the time i knew like, next to nothing about dnp's history.

so basically, dan did two shows at the palladium for WAD. the second show was on sep 28 and it was relevant because phil attended along with some of their london youtube friends like dodie clark and jack howard (x). also martyn and cornelia went and Thee "amazingphil you must be proud!" was born.

at the end of the show, there were a few pics (x) (x) taken of dan waving to the audience. one of them was taken on a film camera in which you could see phil. alexa play super trouper.

and finally, dan comes out at the stage door WITH PHIL.

in retrospect, this was a crazy time to be a new phannie.

anyways i would like to thank @goldenpinof, their tagging system, and their archive. literally made linking my sources so easy. also i would like to thank tumblr's "inline link" function thus saving this post from being a mile long due to the links.

[phil-trash-no2]

I wanna talk about this man...

I spent most of my time talking about Phil so it's time I spoke about Dan.

I have known about this man's existence since the middle of 2009. Granted back then he wasn't the Dan we know now, he was just another Phil fan on twitter, I remember seeing him tweeting when I think back. At the time he was just another person tweeting Phil but I remember it.

Then he became danisnotonfire on YouTube, I saw him making content, and Phil helping him out, I saw what they had, develop and flourish, Dan's confidence grow in his content.

I saw his abilities develop, I saw him through his time at uni and then his dropping out. I saw him move with Phil to London and do the radio show and all the opportunities that came with it. I saw him become such an incredible person, I saw him struggle and the dark times in the phandom. I saw him push us away and fight for his privacy.

I saw him start to let us back in a little more again and gain a little trust back, going on his first world tour with Phil and releasing his first book.

I saw him talking about his depression and open up to us about the struggles he had faced with mental health. I saw him doing tons for mental health support and advocating for mental health.

I saw him go on his second world tour with Phil. Then I saw the hiatus. I saw him leave the internet, and I was genuinely devastated. This guy was someone I'd been supporting for years, I'd seen him grow for 9 years at this point, but he needed to do what he needed to do.

Then I saw him through bits and pieces from Phil. We all missed him, but we knew he was doing what was best for him.

Then I saw him open up and come out as gay. Show his full vulnerability opening up to us all. He went to pride and I cried with pride seeing him do this and be his true self.

Then he came back with a book, he was coming back right!? Then he went on his own world tour.

It was incredible! I was beyond proud of him.

Then in 2023, I saw him come back with Phil for the gaming channel. I then saw him happy. He wasn't closed up anymore, he was just being him. He wasn't pushing us all away like he'd done in the past, he (mostly) trusted us and had started telling us he loved us again, he wasn't hiding away. Then I saw him go on the third world tour with Phil (his fourth tour) and seeing who has become is something I could never explain.

I know a lot of people agree when I say, I am so proud of Daniel Howell and who he has become. He has gone through so much that he never deserved but he's come out kicking ass every time. I don't know if he will ever see this but if you do, I need you to know I am ridiculously proud of you bb, you should be proud of everything you've got through and everything you've achieved.

@danielhowell

Tldr; I'm proud of Dan.

[bluebirdlester]

i kind of still can't believe i'm in the out-and-proud dan and phil timeline. like sometimes i think about them in their house that they own together, joking with us about dick and ass and celebrity crushes and omg they touched on DAPG and my eyes literally mist up. my heart actually flutters when i realize that all of this is really happening.

i always had a shipper's heart, but i genuinely never believed they would come out. so many posts and fics on here in the past tried to imagine a BIG and COTY or (lol, it was mostly) BWAGFEO but i just could never see it really happening. to me they would eventually quietly retire and some #Phan Proof would come out after that but they wouldn't be making videos anymore so it's not like they'd be telling us on purpose. or later when i grew up a bit i thought maybe they'd just never say the words "we're gay" but glacially slowly be more blatant by implication, ad infinitum. and maybe it was a sad future i foresaw, but i was a pretty sad queer kid. them being out now? trusting us and sharing with us on purpose? it's like a sucker punch every time

so much about watching dnp for me as at 14 years old was the vague hope that maybe i wouldn't have to heterosexually marry a boy and have a nuclear family and a job i hated forever right out of college. i felt like i was destined for it, because my parents are pretty right wing and no one had ever showed me a different way to be. but there they were! closeted, yes, but obviously not doing that miserable thing i was so afraid of! that was such a comfort to me. it still is.

[emotoangel]

okay I’m going on a little ineffable phannie rant read at your own gut wrenching discretion bc I can’t lie this shit’s about to get parasocial

because it’s not just Dan and Phil dressed as Crowley and Aziraphale, is it?

it’s Dan and Phil, who have struggled with their sexualities for years. closeted, faced every speculation under the sun when it comes to their own sexualities, the other’s sexuality, their relationship, their legitimacy, if they’re queerbaiting or not, being OUT. OUT and dressed as two canonically gay men in love with each other, two men who would see the world burn to know the other was safe. two men who helped stop the end of the world so they could be together.

a man who is bitter and cold and a little bit bad (but not evil I would say, though he might try to make you believe he is) and a man who is love and light and exclusively good (or so he’d like you to believe). and am I talking about Dan and Phil there, or am I talking about Crowley and Aziraphale?

it’s about these two men who, even 5 years ago, feared the word ‘gay’. it’s about how Dan, Mr Commitmentphobe, Mr I Can’t Even Commit To A Pet, Mr Soulmates Are Not A Thing That Exist, bought a costume, and sprayed (or, fucking hell god help me DYED) his hair red, and posted a cute picture of him and his ranch partner/4000 year old tortoise/companion through life/actual soulmate and TAGGED IT INEFFABLE HUSBANDS.

it’s a couples costume!!! it’s impossible for it not to be, considering they are two of the most well known canonically in love gay men on the internet right now!! it’s a thank you to their little phannies online who make them feel safe and comfortable enough to do what they do every day. and it’s a shoutout to the progress they have made in 15 years. a ‘hey, we’re here, we’re happy and gay and (in love) together’. and that’s SOO SPECIAL. ITS SO SPECIAL. and it means everything!!!!

AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THE ONE PHOTO.

it’s the selfie on the story of them cute and couply and drinking the aziracrow drinks and looking happy and in love 😭

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CAT AND BEAR SAVE THE WORLD VS HOWLEY AND AZIRAPHIL ARE HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD

anyway basically I’m so insanely proud of them, feeling very parasocial about the progress they’ve made in 15 years to get to a point where they’re comfortable enough to make phwedding jokes and gay jokes and jokes about both being switches and furries and in love. feeling so proud of them being out and proud and gay and in love and also I have a good omens tattoo so I’m choosing to believe they did this for me personally thank you x

[thinking-emoji]

Phannie acronym/initialism* dictionary

*no i'm not getting into what counts as an acronym or an initialism. I'm also not telling you how to pronounce any of these

Please refer to the original version of this post to check for updates!

7SC: 7 Second Challenge

AP: AmazingPhil

ATF: Above the Fray, former management agency

atiwttmotiimpaowwmtf: And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously, we were more than friends...

BFTD: Back from the Dead

BIG: Basically I’m Gay

BWAGFEO: Basically We Are Gay For Each Other

BWYBMS: Better With You By My Side

COTY: Coming Out To You

D&P: Dan and Phil

DAP: Dan and Phil

DAPB: DanAndPhilBEATS

DAPC: DanAndPhilCRAFTS

DAPFTTT: Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth

DAPG: DanAndPhilGAMES

DAPGO: Dan and Phil Go Outside

DAPGOOSE: Dan and Phil Go Outside On Stage Event

DAPWEPINOF: Dan and Phil watch every phil is not on fire (sic)

DD: Dystopia Daily; rarely: The Drug Deal

DILM: Dan is leaving me

DINI: danisnotinteresting

DINK: 1. dumb twink; 2. double/dual income, no kids

DINKWAD: double/dual income, no kids, with a dog

DINOF: danisnotonfire

DINOK: Dan is not Ok

DITL: Day in the Life

DJH: Daniel James Howell

DnD: Daniel and Depression; in our circles rarely: Dungeons and Dragons

DnP: Dan and Phil

DNPB: DanAndPhilBEATS

DNPG: DanAndPhilGAMES

dnptwt: Dan and Phil twitter, the twitter phandom

DvP: Dan vs. Phil

DvPHTSD: Dan vs. Phil Hometown Showdown

ETVAHTCTE: Embrace the void and have the courage to exist

FDITL: Festive Day in the Life

FFVII: Final Fantasy VII

FFXIV: Final Fantasy XIV

GANP: Gay and Not Proud

GDM: gays do maths

GG: Guru Gossiper; old forum site with dnp threads

GTPWTW: Giving the People What They Want

GwF: Golf with Friends

HEH: Heart Eyes Howell

HL: Hard launch

HTBYFIS: How To Befriend Your Favourite Internet Stars

IDB: In Depth Bants

IGTOHGMMWGHTHBWPOTC: I got the octopus, he's gonna marry me, we're gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib

II: Interactive Introverts

IOM: Isle of Man

ISG: Internet Support Group

IT: InterTalent

IT2: It Takes Two

KTANE: Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes

LAP: LessAmazingPhil

LEL: Love Eyes Lester

M&C: Martyn and Cornelia

MINO: mullet in name only

NBSII: No But Seriously Imagine It

PCOU: Post Coming Out Universe

PGPIA: Post gay Phan in Australia

PHA: public horse announcement

PINOF: phil is not on fire

PMAVEDFAW: Phil makes a video every day for a week

PML: Philip Michael Lester

PPA: Phan Porn Addiction

PSL: Pumpkin Spice Latte

RPF: Real Person Fiction; rarely: Roleplay F...iction???

SAP: SuperAmazingProject

SGF: Saying Goodbye Forever

SSAYWD: some shit a youtuber would do (dystopia daily segment)

SWWTTY: Something we want to tell you

TABINOF: The Amazing Book is Not on Fire

TATINOF: The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire

TIIH: The Internet is Here

TIT: Terrible Influence Tour

TTLMT: Trying to Live My Truth

TTSTWMG: Trying to See Things Without My Glasses

UTA: United Talent Agency

VPDO: Viewers Pick Dan's Outfits

VPMO: Viewers Pick My Outfits

WAD: We’re All Doomed

WDAPTEO: What Dan and Phil text each other

wdaptpeo: what Dan and Phil text post each other

WITL: Week in the life

WIQY: Why I Quit YouTube

wt md if: “what’s that [sound]? My dignity, in flames” from “Drama Llama” on danisnotonfire

WWWY: When We Were Young festival

YWGTTN: You Will Get Through This Night

Works Cited: