#also have you guys ever had the modern equivalent?

[natequarter]

[Video description: a video of someone cooking toast water by placing a slice of toast in hot water, then straining it and pouring it between several jugs, before finally drinking it and grimacing at the taste. /end video description]

[ID 1: "TOAST WATER Toast thoroughly two slices bread. Break in pieces. Cover with 1 cup boiling water. Let stand 1 hour. Strain. Season and serve hot or cold.

BEEF TEA Cut 2 pounds raw beef in small pieces. Put in bottle or earthenware jar with a broken knuckle of veal. Cover tightly. Set bottle deep in pan of boiling water. Simmer 8 hours. Strain juice and cool to a jelly. Keep it in a cool place. To make tea add a little hot water to some of jelly. In a refrigerator this jelly will remain fresh for a week.

RAW BEEF TEA Make fresh for each meal. Shred 1/4 cup raw beef. Fill cup with hot water. Let stand 15 minutes. Strain and serve at once.

COOKED RAW BEEF TEA Cut 1 pound raw beef in small pieces. Put in saucepan over low heat. Cook 6 minutes, stirring often to prevent sticking. Add 2 cups cold water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer 10 minutes. Drain and serve at once, seasoned with a little salt.

BROILED BEEF JUICE Season with salt and broil 1 pound raw beef 4 minutes. Cut in pieces and squeeze all juice into a hot cup. Serve liquid at once.

ELDERBERRY WINE Put only enough water with the berries to keep them from burning and cook but a few minutes; just long enough to scald of sugar thoroughly. Strain through a cheesecloth, add eight cups to 10 cups of berry juice. Set away in a cool place to ferment and skim daily until clear. When bubbles cease to rise on top of the liquid, it is ready to bottle. Use only white sugar and you will have some of the richest flavored wine you ever tasted. Yeast is apt to sour the wine and it is a mistake to hurry the fermenting process. The addition of other liquor spoils the fine natural flavor." /end ID]

[ID 2: "TOAST-WATER. This drink is prepared by simply pouring cold spring water over highly toasted bread, and allowing it to stand for some time, till it becomes impregnated with the pecu. liar taste of the toast. Some prefer boiling the water before pouring it over the toast, but this is of very little consequence in our opinion. It makes a very good diluent drink for persons whose stomachs will not bear cold water, and allays thirst, perhaps even better in cases of fever and in other diseases, where copious draughts of cold water would be improper." /end ID]

[ID 3: "Toast-water may be used at will in every febrile affection. It diminishes the heat of the mouth, the throat, and the stomach; and, by sympathy, that of the whole body." /end ID]

[ID 4: "Simple Toast Water.—Toast water simple, good in cases of thirst and nausea from diarrhoea, is about one-fourth." /end ID]

[ID 5: a graph showing the use of the phrase 'toast water' in Google nGram. It spikes in the 1830s and 1850s in particular. /end ID]

[ID 6: a close-up of the same graph, showing spike in 1832. /end ID]

[nhtmcat]

Benedict Cumberbatch talks about Sherlock and Martin Freeman

Interviewer: Sherlock, anyone knows Sherlock? Obviously, it has been wonderful, but you had said that being in Sherlock that was magic. Why do you think that?

BC: Um… It was a lot of things. It was Martin. It was a modern era take on it. It was Steven… first of all, Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss took something they were obsessive fanboys over with total respect, and they crafted a modern version of it with huge (amount) details, hugely rewarding loyalty towards the original stories, but with a very witty plot twist. And I think it was also, you know, it was the dawn of Twitter, and this guy was on the internet, and John Watson was blogging. And I think there was a synchronicity where television became, you know, it was pre streaming. It was sort of a water-cooler moment made digital. And I think that's why it went global. And I, I don't know, maybe it was the part that had just been waiting for me at the right time as well. I just loved it. It was just a heck of a thing. And again, the mental geek a bit. He had to be in the digital space the equivalent of the computers. He had to have an AI speed so that he was speaking as fast as most people think, but very quickly. And that was an acting challenge, and also to some extent having him work on this character, how that fits in society now, where you have asexuals, autists, whatever those, you know, you know, whatever theories of those kinds of wonderful superpowers are, you know. And I think that spoke to a lot of people, that he had a superpower. And socially incredible also such a lot of people take pleasure of other people being vicariously rude or straight, or direct.

Interviewer: No filters for him.

BC: Yeah, no filters for Sherlock. And I think that is a part of his appealing. He's brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant mind.

Interviewer: What was the first time you walk around the street without being unnoticed?

BC: Oh, you know, it was a particular type of hair, which I don't normally have. You know, I have dark hair and I don't usually have it that long. When I just stepped out of some, you know, pre-production, it literally was that I'd go to the hairdressers and come out, dyed and with the shade, and people literally crack it and sort of, oh, Sherlock! It’s him. It was the first time. And I remember when we were making it, Martin was already very famous from the Office. And when we kind of spent time with each other, started all sorts of, you know, people would sort of go, oh, this is Tim Canterbury! ‘Yeah, yeah, I mean, he's being younger than me, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah…’ He just joked about it.

Interviewer: He's such a fun and nice guy.

BC: Yeah, he's great. He's very funny. One of the funniest human beings I've ever met. And just so inventive and brilliant. And he filled that role with so much nuances and care. He's a precision artist, he's technically brilliant, but he's also a musician I mean, he's got jazz in there as well as every other kind of music. He's wonderful to work with, and like I said, I think that was very early in my answer, that was a huge part of it - that chemistry - that I liked to be there really well.

Red Sea International Film Festival, Q&A, 10 December 2024

[unoislazy]

BES College Au Headcanons

Characters included: Mizu, Taigen, Ringo, Akemi, Madame Kaji

There are some Mizu x Reader hints shoved in here

A/N: I’m just gonna stop saying what I plan to write next cause every time I do I suddenly either can’t write anymore or something ruins my plans entirely

Also there was an ask that went with this but It got lost in my inbox so I’m sorry to whoever asked but here you go!

Cutie Patootie

————————————————————

Mizu In College

-mizu barely does her homework

-why write things when train?

-she practically lives at the gym

-just cause it’s modern doesn’t mean she has to stop training

-you’d meet her through class

-you had to sit next to her and she was incredibly intimidating at first

-eventually, thanks to certain professors incessant need to give group work, you had to talk to her and realized she’s not as scary as she first seemed

-she’s not a huge party goer

-the one and only time she’d go to a party is because you invited her to go with you after you were invited by Taigen

-Taigen would essentially be a frat boy

-I know you saw how he was with those women who WERENT AKEMI in the first episode

-mizu wouldn’t be able to stand him

-despite not sticking around you the entire time Mizu would literally watch you like a hawk

-she doesn’t have many friends so she doesn’t really have any other reason to be there

-she’s just being a “good friend”

-she’s not a huge drinker either, but if she gets bored she’d take a few sips

-then a few more

-and maybe just a few more

-Taigen would invite you to a party and probably try and hit on you despite it being well known that him and akemi are together

-mizu, of course would’ve seen this, and swooped in no matter how far past tipsy she might’ve been

-she’s good at faking being sober

-100% would “fake” being your partner if it meant getting people to leave you alone

-Mizu is often still seen as a guy but given the time period I’d honestly think she’d go by any pronouns

-I don’t think she would necessarily care if people use he/him for her, but I think she’d prefer she/her

How they get food

-Ringo would complain about dining hall food, but in a very constructive way

-he’d stand in the hall talking at the lunch people (they wouldn’t be listening) about how to improve the meals

-he’d have to be dragged out before he’d talk their ears off

-mizu literally could care less, food is food, she doesn’t eat much anyways

-akemi door dashes, with the money she has? She can afford it

-Taigen probably leeches off akemi

Work Habits

-Mizu’s a HEAVY procrastinator

-Akemi does her work and often gets very good grades

-she has to make her dad proud

-Ringo studies but he gets lost VERY easily

-Taigen does his work but, much like Mizu, he practically lives at the gym so sometimes some things slide under his radar and affect his grade

-he’s scramble to make it up last minute and somehow still get credit

Professor Kaji?

-Madame Kaji as a professor is a funny thought to me

-she wouldn’t be, if anything she’d just work at a club considering that would’ve probably have been the modern day equivalent to a tea house such as hers

-but if she was she would’ve been super strict

-especially on the students who couldn’t give two shits about her class and make it obvious

-she’s have a very rigorous course

-but if she saw a student failing who she knew was actively trying, she’d lighten up a bit and offer actual help (unlike almost every real life professor ever)

[total-drama-brainrot]

Assistant Noah AU, since Noah isn't a contestant, Ezekiel takes Noah's place as a member of Team Chris...

Ezekiel doesn't lose the stick, so there's no eliminations in the Egyptian Episode...

Ezekiel had become Lindsay's and Beth's platonic BFF, and now has a new better respect for women...

Ezekiel is also a bit smarter, and somehow sees through Alejandro's tricks...

How would Alejandro honestly feel about Ezekiel? 😉

I'll take any oppertunity to "save" Ezekiel from his canon treatment, and having him substitute onto Team Chris in Noah's place is a great idea.

But I don't think Alejandro would like him at all.

You've got to understand; Ezekiel is the equivalent of a very misguided, very lost puppy. He's not exactly sure what's going on at the best of times, and after Island his response to the culture shock between his homelife and his life on reality TV is to adopt a fake "cool" personality from whatever pop culture he's managed to consume... which only serves to make him more insufferable to the people around him than his clueless farmboy demeanour ever did.

Had he retained his pre-Total Drama personality and naivety, then Alejandro would tolerate him, if only as an exploitable pawn (much like Tyler). But it's repeatedly shown in canon that Ezekiel is unpleasent to be around by design. He's talkative and outspoken at the worst times, oftentimes with opinions that aren't exactly palatable, he doesn't understand the concept of personal space and acceptable social behaviour, he smells bad, ect ect. Pair this with him mimicking the stereotypical "rapper" demeanour, and you have the perfect foil for Alejandro's nice guy act.

Because Alejandro is very many things, but patient isn't one of them. At least, not in the context of being around people who annoy him. Just look at his canon relationship with Owen; if he couldn't stand to be around Owen of all people, then he'd really hate Ezekiel.

That's not to say that I think Ezekiel is a hateable character. Quite the opposite, really. He's so interesting to think about from a writer's standpoint, since he has a surprising amount of characterisation for a character who spends the majority of his screentime feral and non-verbal. Just enough to base characterisation on, and just little enough to expand upon in whatever way you'd like and not have it feel out of character.

In the given scenario, I'd have him form a friendship with Owen and and Izzy (by this point in the series he's been educated on how his father's mindset is very outdated and toxic, so he's more than happy to befriend a girl). The two of them aren't concerned with things like "coolness" and social acceptability, which would be a huge part of Zeke's character arc in this season - learning how to accept himself for himself, instead of trying to conform to his skewered perspective of what the media deems "hip".

Pairing this with the somewhat limited but amicable relationship he shares with Lindsay on Team Victory, and the intangiable but nonetheless just as impactful influence of Beth who's stuck on the Aftermath, and suddenly Ezekiel has a whole support system of genuinely kind people who can and will help him learn the ropes of modern society. (Give Ezekiel Friends 2k24‼️)

A direct contrast to Alejandro, who's whole deal is presenting himself as a perfect, infalliable person who doesn't really form any friendships. (Unless you count Heather and maybe Courtney?)

See here's where the two of them play the role of "contrasting narritive foil" for each other. Alejandro and Ezekiel are both fueled by their need to prove themselves by winning, but their methodology is entirely different; Alejandro's game plan is to be as fake and perfect as possible whilst sabotaging the competition and inadvertantly isolating himself, and Ezekiel is just doing his best to play fair whilst learning how to be the most authentic version of himself in the proccess with the help of his friends. (Something something the power of friendship...)

Something to note here: Both of them are trying to prove themselves to their families. Alejandro's trying to prove he can be more than second place (to José, or just in general), and Ezekiel is trying to prove that he can withstand the challenges of the world outside of his family's farm (which he never got the chance to, given he was the first boot of the previous two seasons).

As for Ezekiel being "smarter" and seeing through Alejandro's tricks; I'd like to veto that idea and offer you this instead.

Ezekiel has gullibility and naivety practically woven into the threads of his character, so of course he'd be in the same boat as Owen and Tyler. That is to say, he'd initially be one of Alejandro's most staunch defenders, since he doesn't have the intelligence or the instincts to see past his fake exterior, as Ezekiel isn't worldly enough to know how to spot a fake.

And that's exactly what causes Alejandro's downfall.

As stated before, Ezekiel is annoying by design. Pair his enthusiasm with an idolisation towards Alejandro (for being an objectively strong competitor, or whatever reason you want) and you've got the perfect recipe for Alejandro to blow up at Ezekiel once his already negligable patience snaps. Probably in a scene similar to the confrontation he has with Owen in the Amazon.

All of a sudden, Ezekiel has seen Alejandro's true colours and the rose-tinted glasses he's been blinded by come shattering to the ground - and the knowledge that's been painstakingly imparted onto him by Lindsay and Beth comes into play. Alejandro is a bad guy, just like Zeke's dad.

From then on, Ezekiel is hesitant around Alejandro. Quiet, uncharacteristically so. The sight of unapologetically loud and obtuse Ezekiel being subdued (scared?) of Alejandro has the other contestants beginning to question his performative geniality. If Zeke of all people doesn't trust him, it must be a bad sign.

[crazylittlejester]

Unsure if you’ve answers this already, but what’s the rest of the chain doing in your modern au?

I don’t think ive ever really talked a lot about it like, in depth, but im more than happy to because i love my au and my silly guys :)

my bad for spelling errors i am Stupid 💔

Time: (46) Lives on the ranch with Malon. He worked full time as a mechanic before he met and married Malon, and he still works at the same place just SIGNIFICANTLY less hours because he’s also doing work on the ranch. He also plays guitar as a hobby, he played more when he was younger but Twilight’s BIGGEST flex in middle and early high school was that his dad owns some fuckass guitars

Hyrule: (20) He really really really likes rocks and being outside so he’s going into geology because he wanted to dig in the dirt and find special rocks. Sometimes Twi will text him like “bro where are you?” and if he even has service Hyrule will just send him a pic in the literal middle of fucking nowhere. Hyrule lives with Legend in the same apartment as Wars, Twi, and Sky, EXACTLY one floor below them

Legend: (20) Political science major, because he was running out of time and had to pick something. He’s not super sure what he wants to do, he has like, no plans, he didn’t think he’d be alive this long and have to DO something with his life. He works at the same little coffee shop as Sky, and those two are good friends. Every time Wars is being too loud above him (jumping, screaming, dancing) he will get up on his table and smack the ceiling and yell, or he’ll leave him angry voicemails. He left the dorms because he couldn’t handle being in the room next to Wars’s dramatic ass, he was DEVASTATED to discover all he did was move in underneath him

Wild: (19) He’s doing fashion/arts and he really really likes photography. He’s a retired skater (same as Wars) and on good days he can move around alright with minimal pain, but it’s not uncommon for him to use a mobility aid. He’s very good friends with Wars and sometimes they’ll fuck around at the rink together, other times when he has five minutes to spare Wars will drive him around and they’ll go to parks and just sit. They’re each other’s oldest friend and they both left a sport that was literally their entire world and its been hard to adjust to life without competitions but they’ve got each other. Wars makes a very serious effort to meet up with Wild 2-3 times a week

Four: (19) He’s a blacksmith, like his grandpa, but he got roped into this mess of a friend group somehow anyways. He finds most of them to be far too loud or dramatic, but they’re his best friends and he’s stuck with em

Wind: (16) He’s still in high school, but he does band and soccer. Wars took him skating ONCE because he used to babysit him, and Wind kinda got obsessed with the idea of what he calls ‘knife shoes’. Of ALL the people Wars has taken to the rink with him (who have no prior experience skating), Wind is the best. He’d be able to fuck around and play ice hockey with Wars, he’d get his ass beat if he went against an actual hockey player, but he can play a simple friendly game with Wars if Wars agrees to it

and then for anyone unfamiliar with the au!!:

Wars: (20/21; depends on what time of year I write the au in, because everything is just about their last year of undergrad and he’s a December birthday) He’s a retired figure skater who holds a world record and several gold medals, and he won the hyrule equivalent of the olympics at 18. He’s a dance major now, he’s been doing ballet since he was 3 and he never quit it, and he’s gone pretty much all day during the week because he goes skating for two hours before class, his last class ends at 5:30, and then if he’s actively in a show rehearsal ends at 10. Weekends are his only time to breathe but he’ll still have rehearsal from 1-6 and will hit the rink from like 10-11 unless Sky and Twi get on their literal hands and knees and BEG him not to because they miss him and “when will my husband return from the fucking war??”

Twilight: (21/22; his birthday is March) Bio/chem major with the intent to become a vet for ranch animals. He LOVES animals so so so so much, and he has a rather bad habit of bringing home sat wet creatures to his adoptive parents/aunt&uncle Time and Malon who just need a little extra love, including but not limited to: Several dogs, several cats, an injured bird, Warriors, a baby deer. Most of these things get taken care of and then released or Time helps them get adopted, and others get kept (at LEAST four dogs (including a very fluffy one named Wolfie), Wars, and two cats)

Sky: (21) English literature major who wants to become a teacher because he had an awful time as a disabled kid in school and he was made to feel stupid and he NEVER wants a kid to have that experience. It broke his heart to realize Wars had that experience too and still thinks he’s stupid, but Sky is determined to be the kind of english teacher you remember DECADES after you leave grade school because they were so important and changed your life. His gf Sun also loves english literature, and they go on dates to the library together and it’s just disgustingly sweet. He’s living out his best coffee shop romance au life because he does in fact work at a coffee shop and he did in fact fall in love with the girl who came in and ordered mint tea at 4 pm on the dot every day he just so happened to be working

[rougepancake]

I saw your yui komori reader drabble and was wondering if you could something similar but with a yashiro nene reader? basically reader is a hopeless romantic who falls left and right for hot guys. oh! and could it be gender neutral reader and with genya and tanjiro? please and thank youu and have a good day!

OH THIS IS PERFECT 🙏

Ft. Genya Shinazugawa and Tanjiro Kamado

Warnings: None! Modern au. (Sorry Tanjiro’s is so short 😭)

GENYA SHINAZUGAWA

He watched as you fawned over Uzui and Gyomei with Mitsuri. You thought they were amazing, and it made him slightly jealous.

Yet he couldn’t figure out why.

“Hey there Genya!” Tanjiro ran up to him, smiling as brightly as ever. He followed his gaze and stopped, chuckling nervously. “Wow. They seem to be getting along pretty well, huh?”

“Yeah.” He spun around and walked away, his hands in his pockets as he walked through the halls.

As he walked, he thought of you. Which was weird. Since he hasn’t really ever felt this way before, he doesn’t know what to do. He’s at a loss.

Does he fight you?

No. The thought of you being injured makes him a little sick.

Does he talk to you?

Also no. That idea makes him ten times more sick.

“Ah!” Your shout pulled him from his thoughts and back to reality as he looked at where you sat on the floor.

Had he run into you?

“Sorry.” He grumbled and stuck out his hand so he could help you up.

But there you sat, staring at him in awe.

Your face flushed a deep shade of red and you took his hand, avoiding his gaze as you thanked him for helping you up and apologized for running into him.

“Sorry… I should pay better attention…” You spoke softly and he felt his heart soar.

“Me too.” He nodded and watched as you scurried away.

The next day, he heard you talking to Mitsuri about the hot guy you bumped into in the hallway. You had told her that you were stunned into silence and thought you were going to die when he helped you up.

And he thought he was going to die just hearing you say that.

TANJIRO KAMADO

“Tanjiro! Just look at him! Is he not just the hottest guy you’ve ever seen?!?” You squealed and kicked your feet as you looked over at the barista who had taken your order. Tanjiro cringed and gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Sorry Y/n I don’t think he’s my type.” He joked, and you knew that was his equivalent of ‘what the hell are you thinking’.

“Man!” You groaned and leaned back in your seat, pouting slightly. “You’re no fun!”

“I’m plenty of fun. You just don’t like the fact that most of the people you find attractive are hideous.” He retorted and took a sip of his coffee, giving you a playful smirk.

“Oh yeah?” You challenged. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure.”

“Well damn I guess you’re one ugly fella then.”

He choked on his coffee.

[corruptimles]

I R EMMEBERED TO SEND YOU ANOTHER ONE. 🌠🌪️🖍️🎀✏️✂️🏊🌌 november

sicko at the window for talking about beans

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

for if everything didn't happen (legacys deaths? the supernova? them?)

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

November's characterization and appearance has actually stayed consistent since making them. At most, he doesn't talk as much anymore in his default state, and avoiding being outside of their suit more.

One thing that was retconned was a scene when November talked about missing safety railings. That was originally from Greyvember whose character was developed further later on, so the dialogue doesn't suit him anymore and Northvember said it instead.

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

uhhhh that's rough buddy

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

November is really weird to fit into other worlds. He can't be in anything that doesn't include some form of a supernatural/magic system and/or creatures? Because if I were to simplify his concept down to what's recognizable: November is a collection of souls associated with a form or container where they attempt to be one guy or one thing. So any "modern au" without supernatural elements wouldn't really work. November's situation is not equivalent to irl cases of DID. Fantasy settings are probably fine. Be some weird cursed person or artifact, easy. Armoured suit November? could you imagine. There's a Pokemon AU for Modleyverse, where the only difference is that Pokemon exist. BUT. If November WAS a Pokemon, they're like a Spiritomb.

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

From the playlist made for them uhhh maybe these parts

from Each Time I Die - Bones & Beeker

from November - Sparkbird

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

November so far hasn't been in a situation where it's gotten to that. It's theoretically very easy to get November to start avoiding you if they become afraid. An example is when Mars accidentally sliced the suit and November got scattered and panicked, and so started associating Mars with his tools rather than as crewmate. They got slightly better though, because they're both on a spaceship with nowhere to go, with Mars trying to coax November out of the vents, and something keeps urging November to do his tasks, so he couldn't hide forever. Other situations wouldn't resolve as easily, especially if November doesn't have any connection to the person prior.

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

Nope! It's really hard to swim with a suit, and otherwise would be extinguished if it's enough water. If with a proper suit, still cannot swim well at all. How they feel about swimming depends, but you're most likely to get either "no.. that's scary.." or "yes, I am an excellent swimmer :)!" and proceeds to not move because of subconscious self-preservation.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

First was their name. I just like code word stuff so I picked a couple names from the phonetic alphabet (my beloved) for an astronaut character. I think I had: bravo, kilo, november, tango, and whiskey? Friends suggested november because I was using the white suit and the month of november is cold. This influenced having a winter outfit theme later as well.

Visually, November was recycled from an old UOHRPG (different OC world) enemy + Vashta Nerada from Doctor Who

Other influences were also: The Flood (The Waters of Mars episode) which were liquid parasite colonies The Lux Foundation Library/Doctor Moon's concept of "saving" (which are also from Silence in the Library which is where the Vashta Nerada were introduced, and were the reason needing "saving") (cuz November is both the murderer and victim) That one specific burnt Elsen from OFF (which is what the UOHRPG enemy was inspired by) And the specific discomfort and fear I got from Everyman being swarmed in Undertale Obligatory The Thing mention, which may have also helped with the winter theme. And I like fur hoods, winter clothing in general -> the jacket/bag helmets and gas masks -> the fighter jet helmet uniform/military dress uniforms -> hat/neck tie/aiguilettes

[nrilliree]

https://www.tumblr.com/softsweetmela/749656822910255104/i-genuinely-wonder-why-so-many-people-who-are-team?source=share

I love it when idiots try to talk about realistic genetics by talking bullshit about said genetics. Yes, in the show, we know that Rhaenyra's children are Harwin's. But sorry, not in the book. And that's wrong, Harwin is never described in Fire and Blood. In fact, no member of House Strong is ever portrayed in Fire and Blood. Except one whose name I don't even remember and who... well, was blond from what I remember. And also, the book is transcribed by anti team blacks and pro greens. Who tells you that physical descriptions are actually real ? But hey, they should already recognize that the dance is an attempt at pro-greens propaganda by the maesters... Then, even if in the show there is no doubt about the paternity of the children... well the the fact that Laenor is black once again proves nothing at all. Like... they talk about the functionality of genetics and don't realize that in our reality a couple with the skin tones of Rhaenyra and Laenor can have white children ? I literally have a couple of friends with these same skin tones and their two daughters are white and blonde. While they both have brown hair and the guy has the same skin tone as Laenor. In addition, genetics don't even work like in our reality in the GRRM universe and HOTD is not at all consistent with this delusion of having made the Velaryons black. Jaehaerys should never have been white in the introduction to the show if we follow this logic that they pose on the Velaryon boys and the logic that the show actually tries to impose as children of a Velaryon and Targaryen must be non-white. And then, no one knows that Rhaenyra's children were born out of wedlock. This is recognized by HOTD and pretty much accepted by everyone in the Fire and Blood fandom, even me. On the other hand, what the antis do not understand is that being a bastard has nothing to do with genetics, it is a social position, and even children born between a married couple can be declared a bastard, and a child born outside marriage declared bastard at birth can then become legitimate. What is said is that the Velaryons were certainly born out of wedlock, but by the society of Westeros they are not bastards, simply because the king, who is the law, has always recognized countless times the legitimacy children Velaryon and Laenor himself recognized them as his own sons. Essentially Rhaenyra and Laenor had to resort to a donor if we had to make a modern equivalent.

We know from the book that Harvin had brown hair and brown eyes, but we don't know this from Harvin's description, only that on this basis some believed that Jace, Luke, and Joffrey were his sons. We know the boys had brown hair, brown eyes and pug noses. They were just children or teenagers, so the issue of facial features and noses could still have developed differently in adulthood. There is no official evidence that they were bastards in the book, and in my opinion the show changed that unnecessarily. They should have left it unsaid so that some people could believe that these are Harvin's children, and others that the children inherited their appearance from their ancestors - Baratheons in the series have brown hair, and Jeyne Arryn has very similar features to Jace and also has brown hair.

But let the TGs shout that boys are bastards. What else do they have left? Aegon is a rapist, Aemond is a murderer and psychopath, and Daeron is a murderer Jr. It's worse than being a bastard accepted by his father, grandfather and second grandfather-king.

I prefer Rhaenyra's sons to be bastards than... this what Alicent's sons are 🙃

[mah-o-daryaa]

ATLA Modern AU: Avatar Edition

This is going to be a slightly different post. I don't think people ever consider the past Avatars in an AU set in a modern setting. Where do you think they would come from, if they had IRL nationalities?

For sake of simplicity, let's say the AU takes place in the United States, since most ATLA Modern AU fics I've read take place there, mostly in the San Francisco Bay Area. We could also use NYC as the setting, since Republic City is roughly based on 1920's Manhattan. I think this task would be much easier if we consider the real-life influences for each of the four nations. I'll be using this post as a reference for these influences.

For example, the Air Nomads are based off of Tibetan Buddhists with some Nepalese and Bhutanese influences, so it would be pretty obvious to make Aang Tibetan in a Modern AU. The same would also go for Yangchen, although I would personally prefer Bhutanese or Sikkimese Yangchen because the Western Air Temple (I'm not talking about the episode) is inspired by Bhutanese cliffside temples. Another option would be making both Aang and Yangchen part of a Tibetan diaspora living in India. Kyoshi, being half-Air Nomad, would also be of Tibetan ancestry.

The Fire Nation is inspired by a combination of Chinese and Japanese cultures, while Ember Island being inspired by Southeast Asian, mostly Thai and Cambodian culture. In a Modern AU, I can see Roku being Thai, while Wan and Szeto would most likely be Chinese, Szeto is from Hong Kong/Macau. I also have a particular desire for Korean Wan, for no other reason than the fact that his VA, Steven Yeun, is Korean. I also wouldn't mind Wan being part of a Chinese diaspora from Malaysia or Singapore.

The Earth Kingdom, being the largest and most diverse of the four nations, is inspired by many Chinese dynasties, various ethnic minority groups in China, and even other Asian cultures altogether. However, we'll be paying attention to one specific cultural influence in Kyoshi's appearance: Heian/Edo Japan. She wears samurai gear and kabuki makeup. How in the name of the Moon Spirit am I not supposed to make Kyoshi Japanese (half-Japanese, anyway)? Kyoshi Island, formerly known as Yokoya, is literally ATLA's equivalent to Japan in the real world. There are even Ainu influences in Kyoshi Island, what with the clothing of the people in Suki's village.

The last nation is the Water Tribes, and the last two Avatars left are Kuruk and Korra. Now, the Water Tribes actually have a more diverse range of cultural influences than what we might expect. According to both @atlaculture and @kkachi95, the SWT is based on Inuit, Yupik and other First Nation peoples, with some Polynesian influences as well. The NWT, in addition to these influences, is also influenced by Mongolian and Siberian peoples. Since Kuruk is from the NWT, in a Modern AU, he would probably be Siberian, mostly Yakut, but I wouldn't mind Mongolian Kuruk either. For Korra, since she is half-NWT and half-SWT, I think she would be mixed like Kyoshi, except Korra would probably be half-Inuit, half-Yupik. I also want Kuruk and Korra to be part of a Mongolian or Central Asian diaspora living in Russia (I'll admit, I'm only saying this because I really want them to speak Russian), but that probably wouldn't work due to the differences in their cultures in-universe.

I have an idea for a Modern AU involving the Avatars, as well as their backstories for said AU, but that's for another time. For now, I turn this question over to you guys, and I want to know your thoughts on my nationality headcanons.

[birchbow]

Have you ever went into detail abt how you think bulges/nooks work? Seems simple enough, cooch and tentadick, but I started thinking abt it and like... how the hell does everything on the inside work? Whats really the point of having the "afab" bits if trolls depend on mother grub to reproduce? Gestures vaguely to bulges??? What?????

So okay. Honestly much like the drone season thoughts I posted a while ago, this makes sense to me if you consider a species that has the reproductive strategy they do, but consider them several millennia ago.

It makes sense for buckets to be a convenient adaptation that trolls came up with but it doesn't make sense for them to be a pre-requisite for their species to breed! So instead, in lieu of buckets, it makes sense to me trolls would just have an organ that's meant entirely for fluid storage and was hooked to both nook and bulge, and would just mix genetic material via fucking each other so it mixed internally. They don't need a uterus to gestate babies; by the same token, an organ that just exists to hold fluid and keep it body temperature and genetically viable before eventually expelling it after long-term storage is not something the human body needs, but would be pretty necessary if you procreate like trolls but don't have the technology of buckets yet lol.

In that case, the nook would basically be an entry point for that storage organ, which I don't know if I personally have ever mentioned by a name in a fic, although I know I've made reference to a seedflap which in my head is the entry point for it--about where a human might have a cervix, although in this case much more intended for potential ingress, depending on relative sizes. And the bulge would just be the means of getting genetic material into your partner so they could store it.

various points of note that come to mind:

This does mean that whenever a troll in Ancient Times fucked a partner, if they hadn't emptied out recently, the odds aren't bad that they would actually have some mixture of their own genetic material and somebody else's in there. And would not come entirely your own come, which is a wild concept as a human.

A reasonable excuse if you were pretending to be a slightly different shade than you were and got caught because of slurry: uhhh I fucked somebody yellow-blooded, that's why it looks lime instead of jade. BYE!!

Also means that although there was no concern about getting somebody pregnant, any form of STI that trolls could contract would be a pretty huge deal before vessels/buckets became a thing and it became more reasonable to clean out after fucking a single partner. Anything that spreads through fluid exchange, highly transmissible and dangerous!

Because most trolls in modern days haven't had to retain large amounts or for long, they tend to get cramping and a feeling of fullness for much smaller amounts than their ancient relatives would have.

Not wanting a bucket immediately after you fucked would have some connotations--old-fashioned, but romantic. A little sexy and kinky.

Modern trolls just don't have the carrying capacity they used to. >:I Buckets have ruined our bodies!!! Retain your slurry, it's natural!!! It gives you the power of your natural connection with the Mother Grub!!! << the modern troll's equivalent of the nofap guy.

Anyway there you go that's been my general theory in the porn I'm writing, ta-da~~

[idcfriend]

How do they know?...

[Author here please keep in mind that this is an au and that most of it isn't cannon in either twst or disney, I'm more or less just mixing fact and fiction. SORRY IF It's TOO long]

When Yuu woke up in a coffin they were expecting to have somehow been buried alive not that they somehow got sent to a Disney's equivalent of a modern college. Don't get them wrong they love Disney and everything to do with it but that didn't mean they wanted to apart of it!

But since they're already there they might as well as make the best of it(plus maybe at long last their concerning amount of Disney knowledge can come in handy)

So when Crowley had led them to the...interesting...sight that was Ramshackle they honestly were ready to just role with punches which is when a certain blue flame eared cat appeared they weren't too concerned, not even when they were made aware of their ghostly roommates hell they even befriended them by the time got back having even been told their names which were Michael(skinny one), Anthony(medium one) and Christopher(big one).

And while they weren't pleased at having been made into a handyman/janitor. Which is how they found themselves looking at the statues of their favorite disney villians.

"Hey henchman! Whose this lady?!" shouted Grim ponting at one of the statues, snapping you out of your thoughts of how you ended up in this situation

You looked over seeing him pointing at the Queen of Hearts statue

"Do you really not know who she is?" he asked looking like he couldn't believe someone hadn't heard of the Great Seven.

"Well she's- I can't believe you don't know who the Queen of hearts is!" you were interrupted before you could answer, the person that interrupted being an orange haired guy with a heart over his left eye.

"Well actually- Yeah! Is she some big shot?" you sighed annoyed at being cut off again this time by Grim.

She was a queen who lived in a mazelike garden of roses long, long ago.

She was a strict woman who prized order above all. She wouldn't tolerate a rose being off-color, or her playing-card soldiers being out of step.

"She basically ruled over a kingdom of madness, but not one of her subjects dared to defy her.

You wanna know why? Because the punishment for breaking a rule was immediate decapitation!"

"Woah! that's messed up!" Grim exclaimed looking surprised

"I think it's pretty cool, besides no one would bother to obey a queen if they were kind all the time." said the guy

You zoned out a bot thinking of the queen's backstory and unconsciously saying, "You know it's kind of ironic that even though she ruled over a kingdom of madness she was probably the most sane person there because even though her rules were seen as odd or even downright idiotic they were the only thing keeping her kingdom and its citizens from truly becoming 'mad' for without her rules there would of been no sense of order among the madness. She had a sister who was known as the White Queen who while many thought a good queen preferred to succumb to the madness rather than try to prevent it. While the Queen of Hearts was known to have decapitated many she truly never did so without good reason even if it didn't seem that way, for example she once decapitated three card soldiers for not having painted the roses red but in truth she had done so because not only had they been found to have disrespected the crown but they also had been stealing from the castle, it was also known that is the Queen was ever mad that you should inform the King because while their marriage was arranged they did love each other for he was the only one to be able to calm the Queen, she loved the King dearly for she would even stop a beheading if he asked" when you didn't hear any talking you turned to look at Grim and the guy looking at you as if you had said that the sky actually red and they were just realizing it.

"What?" you asked looking a little nervous, had you said to much? Plus you could of sworn that after your explanation you could feel someone or something looking at you in curiosity from the direction of the Queen of Heart's statue

They both seemed to have snapped out of their shock because they continued to talk

"You know i never thought of it like that, the name's Ace Trappola, first year student as of today, nice to meet 'ya!" he said with a grin that didn't seem all that genuine but maybe you were just seeing things...

"I'm the Great Grim! And this is my henchman Yuu!"

"For the last time, I'm not your henchman Grim" you sighed a bit irritated at being being basically called a servant

"Yuu? that's an odd name" said Ace looking at you curiously

"Sup" you said with a slight wave

"So Ace tell me is the lion with a scar on his eye a famous ruler too?"

"Of course!

That's the King of Beasts who ruled the savanna.

But he wasn't born into the throne - he had to earn it through hard work and elaborate schemes.

When he became king, he decreed that the hyenas would be pariahs no more, and should live among his subjects as equals."

"Sounds like a great guy! Not everyone's able to look past social status like that." Grim said looking at Scar in awe, "Hey henchman what do you know anything about him too?" Grim asked looking at you in question wanting to know more

You thought for a bit thinking of what to say since there's a few different iterations of Scar's backstory, "His original name isn't actually Scar it used to be Askari after one of his ancestors and he used to lead a group dedicated to protecting the Pride lands called the 'Lion Guard' but then another lion told him that he could help him become king but when he refused not wanting to betray his brother the other lion had a cobra bite his eye hence the reason for the scar, then the lion told him that he could cure the cobra's venom in return for Askari's servitude but not wanting to give in and with the cobra's venom affecting his mental state he used what was called "The Roar of the Elders" in a fit of rage. He then reported what happened to his elder brother Mufasa wanting his brother to know of the event but instead of congratulating Askari and helping him with the venom that was still coursing through his veins Mufasa belittled and shunned for his actions which was then made worse when his own brother had given him the nickname Scar which eventually became his only name" you said feeling that even if his actions were a bit extreme Scar's action were still a bit justified

"All in all he was a great leader all things considered" you said with finality feeling a sense of pride emanating from Scar's statue

At some point some students had stopped to listen wanting to know what you were talking about some of which had even heard what you said about the Queen of Hearts.

"Geez sounds like he had it rough, who's the lady with octopus legs?" Grim asked wanting to know about the other statues (more from you rather Ace really)

"Uh she's the Sea Witch..." Ace said trailing off still processing what you had just before shaking his head continuing his explanation (wanting to know what else you knew about the great seven not that he was going to admit it) "who lived in an underwater grotto.

She basically devoted her life to helping troubled merfolk.

If they were willing to pay the price, she'd help them change their appearance, find love, whatever!

They say she was so good, there was no wish she couldn't grant. They also say the price was a tad steep, though.

But she was granting wishes! Of course it was!"

They both then looked in your direction causing you to sigh knowing you were going to have some of what you knew about the others too at this point

"She was known as the Sea Witch yes but not she was also King Triton's sister, where as Triton got the position of King and their father's trident Ursula got magic unlike any merfolk, this cause many to be envious and spread rumors of her being power hungry and dabbling in the dark arts, this lead to her reputation as the Sea Witch to spread which she didn't mind until the rumors became more and more sinister causing mny to fear her so when the King heard these rumors instead of trying to find if these rumors were true banished his only daughter, this caused Ursula to feel betrayed and bitter but during her banishment she took in a pair of young eel twins called Flotsam and Jetsam which she treated as her own calling them her babies, and while still feeling bitter if any of the merfolk seeked her out she would help with her magic but she couldn't do it for free for there must be balance in all things including magic for which she created 'contracts' that way there would be a way for the merfolk to get their wish while keeping a balance but many tried to cheat her contracts causing them to be punished by becoming something similar to 'weeds' due to their magick being sucked dry in order to balance the contract, so many merfolk broke her contracts that she had a sizable garden of 'weeds'"

Ace looked a bit uncomfortable " wow talk about reaping what you sow" he said with a grimace

"The guy with the big hat next!" Grim exclaimed not even talking about Ace at this point but Ace still answered anyway

"That's the Sorcerer of the Sands.

He was an advisor to a total dolt of a sultan. He was a smart guy. Really capable sort.

He exposed this swindler once - some guy pretending to be a prince in order to trick the princess!

After that, he got this magic lamp and became the greatest sorcerer in the world. Then, they say...

... he used that power to become sultan himself!"

Ace said a bit impressed, he then looked at you wanting to know what you had to say

"While Jafar was a well respected individual in Agrabah being the royal advisor and magician second in political power only to the sultan himself he wasn't always that way, infact he used to nothing more but a poor commoner from the worst part of the slums, back then he wasn't respected at all and was nothing more than a thief and a street rat stealing to survive and even if he was looked down upon he didn't give for the simple reason that if he did his beloved younger twin sister would be left alone to fend for herself, one day while trying to steal some bread he ran into a...i guess you could call a scholar who took him and his sister in and taught them and as time passed and Jafar rised in rank the scholar which he and his sister came to see as family couldn't be more proud but one day as a visiting royal visited the palace the scholar caught their eye and so the greedy royal made a deal with the Sultan that is he gave them the scholar he would establish trade with Agrabah, the Sultan not seeing anything wrong with this proposal seeing as they were only a scholar agreed. When the visiting royal and his men came to the scholars house Jafar having heard of the deal refused to let a member of his family be taken but there was nothing he could do and as the scholar said his goodbyes to the two children he had raised and after telling Jafar to protect his sister was dragged away, Jafar swore he would get them back, that he would rise high enough in rank where no one could refute him and his family would never be separated again and that he would make the Sultan regret his decision. Soon Jafar became the Sultan's advisor but when he search for the scholar he could not find them this caused him to despair making him swear to protect the only family he had left and that he would make sure that no one else suffered as he had by advising the Sultan." you finished explaining

"Guess it's true that a mage needs to be an excellent judge of character, huh?", Grim said looking at Jafar's statue with a sense of respect, "And what about this beauty over here?"

"She's a queen who was said to be the fairest in all the land.

In fact, she used her magic mirror to check how she ranked on a daily basis!

When it looked like her position was threatened, they say she'd do whatever it took to keep it.

Can you even imagine the level of dedication it would require to keep a record like that?

Also, they say she was a master of making poisons!"

"You make her sound so shallow" you said scrunching up your nose in distaste, " while yes the Queen valued beauty, she also valued hard work for before she was queen she was a simple commoner and while many claimed she was the cause of her husbands untimely death she truly did love the king but once her stepdaughter started to mature and resemble her late mother more and more each day, she noticed how her beloved king would gaze at the girl she considered her own with eyes no that no father should look at their daughter with and when her daughter for she was her daughter in everything but blood came to her with tears and told her how her father would touch her, the Queen saw red and with a heavy heart called her loyal huntsman and instructed him to take her to the dwarves in the forest and to tell them to keep her safe. Once her huntsman returned the Queen made sure to put a few drops of poison in king's wine for even though he was her beloved husband she would not him hurt her precious child"

"Geez. She's pretty, but that sounds kinda scary." said Grim with a shudder

"Really? I kinda respect it" replied Ace

"F-for sure... Sounds like she fought hard for what she believed in, and never gave up!

And the one there, with the flaming head? Now THAT guy looks scary!" shouted Grim

"That's the King of the underworld!

Single-handedly ruling a kingdom packed with rambunctious spirits - that takes competence!

He may look scary, but he was a straight shooter who worked tirelessly at a tough job he never even asked for.

I mean, this is the guy who was ordering Cerberus, the Hydra, and the Titans into battle for him." explained Ace with a look of obvious respect

"While he hadn't taken his job willingly he still was loyal to those he considered family even is their relationships were strained, working along side the fates while keeping order of the underworld is no easy feat, he wasn't the most well liked in Olympus even though his position was one that could be considered of equal or higher status than Zeus (author note: you can't tell me isn't, he's basically the king of the dead) he also loved wholly and completely as was demonstrated with his wife Persephone the goddess of Spring" you happily explained since he was one of your favorites

"Hmm. That IS something. T'think he could have that much power and not let it go to his head!

And that last one there, with the horns?" asked Grim

"That's the Thorn Fairy who lived on a mythical mountain.

She was noble and elegant, and a master of magic and curses - even by the standards of these seven!

She commanded storms, covered the kingdom with thorns... She could use magic on a massive scale!

She could even turn herself into a giant dragon."

You sighed in relief seeing as this was the last one, " She was an orphan who lived in the Moors and she thought herself the last of her kind, one day she met a young human boy who was trying to steal precious stones from the river, as she grew older her and the boy became closer but, Maleficent had become the protector of the Moors for the neighboring human kingdom wanted to invade the Moors and take it for themselves, but when Maleficent dealt a fatal blow to the human king he announcement saying anyone who brought him the head of treacherous fae would become king. Arthur the human boy now a man Maleficent had met so long ago hearing this announcement traveled to the Moors to ser her, but when Maleficent had fallen asleep Arthur consumed by greed too k out a metal chain but not wanting to kill Maleficent he used the chain to separate her wings from her body and took them to the king as proof of having 'slain' her. Thus when Maleficent awoke to such betrayal her once pure heart became as hard as stone" you finished explaining

"They're all pretty cool huh? Unlike some piddling weasel" Ace finished with a smirk

'you can't be serious' you thought with a deadpan already knowing that this won't end well

(unbeknownst to you quite a few students had stoped to listen to you talk about the great seven, some of which were there to hear you talk about the Queen of Hearts (one of which was even recording), wanting to know more for as far as any of them knew this wasn't information just anybody knew, so how did a magic less nobody like you know? And why when you talked about the Great Seven did you look at their statues with not only fondness but nostalgia and sorrow? (you weren't it's just that talking about their backstories made you remember when you used to watch disney with your family))

[desultory-novice]

Hey Noir! Have you ever wanted to own a pet? If so which one?

"I've ALWAYS wanted a pet! Being a pet owner always looks like so much fun! Not that it's all fun and games, obvs. I'd be responsible of course...! (I took care of my baby sister all on my own so I think I could handle a pet!) The problem is, I can never choose just one?" 

"Like, a hamster is a pretty obvious choice, right? They're such fuzzy little guys and they run and climb and they've got these round beady eyes and you can take them out of their cages and if they trust you, have them run around your hands, and they're pretty self-sufficient too, long as they've got a good environment!"

"But I'd also love a fish! Something that can just chill and do its own thing while you do yours? We don't get in each other's way but we've always got each other's back. Plus, I would build it the sickest tank! With castles. Or a ghost ship them. Or...a ghost castle?! ...Not a lot of space in my room, so I'd probably have to stick with just one. Probably a colorful guy that really stands out?"

"Another pet I've been dreaming of is a bird! Did you know birds are basically the modern equivalent of dinosaurs?! And like, not to be typical or whatever, but I'm sorry, dinosaurs are the best. (What would a penguin dinosaur look like? There has to be one, right?!)"

"......'Wouldn't I want a penguin'...? They're the best animals on the planet, yeah, but come on. Do I LOOK like an aquarium? (I mean, if I had the money and the room, I would but...)"

-

Noir's Field Trip Masterpost

AN: Note that Noir is (temporarily) in a state of sugar rush-y euphoria because he has been accidentally separated from his emotionally manipulative cursed sword by a fellow Dark Matter - which had the unexpected effect of unleashing sixteen years of massively repressed, 200% cringe-free boyish energy at speeds so fast his conscious mind is now glossing over the worst of his many, many traumas.

[aikainkauna]

The slashy tragedy of Ahmad

Another variant Thief of Bagdad headcanon, with illustrations.

Premise: Ahmad is gay (yes, this point has been made since 1940, but bear with me),

But he is also too dumb to realise he's gay, and thus strings poor Abu along...

What’s medieval Arabic for “bullshit?“ No, Abu... he’s set his sights on pussy. He thinks he can do it. And yet, he still has the fucking nerve to utter this line:

Abu’s face says it all. Bitch, now you’re just twisting the knife.

But Abu helps him anyway, because he loves him that much. Thus, we have Ahmad The Clueless bumbling his way into heterosexuality through Yassamin's garden, because that's what he's read princes and princesses do.

He’s seen this miniature of the badass legendary hero, Prince Zal, climbing up the passionate Princess Rudaba's harem walls to get laid (note the pink walls and everything)!

And then he recites poetry at her, because that's what you do.

Note that in the 1001 Nights, anything and everything is accomplished by reciting/quoting something beautiful and/or witty on the spot. This is not just a "chicks like romantic stuff, better throw some at her" thing. So to all the morons who scoff at this stuff now when they watch the movie? Tough. It's a *major* rule in all these stories, often forgotten in Western screen adaptations, because Westerners just don't randomly quote song lyrics all the time (which would be the closest equivalent--poems were the pop songs of the day, passed along in song format). So they don't get it/and or don't think it fits unless you’re going for a musical. But it's a big deal in the Near East, Persia in particular. (I'm told in Teheran, taxi drivers will quote Hafiz at you. Which is awesome). And this is actually pne of the major reasons why I really like ToB, because everybody *does* speak in poetry all the time, Ahmad especially!

Even at Jaffar’s pet lesbians. So this dialogue retains a major element of the original culture that makes up for the elements they *didn't* get right (ladies wearing turbans would have *actually* been considered drag in this era, BTW, but then again, I’m sure they are Halima’s pet lesbians). But anyway, Ahmad just does the standard cool thing to do, whenever you want to benefit from a situation. Hence, poetry.

Also, Yassamin?

Bitch is twenty-one. She's basically an old maid by medieval standards, when girls were married off as soon as they hit puberty, or even earlier. Thanks to her dad being what we scientifically call batshit fucking crazy, the poor girl has been locked up in a harem until she's hit her twenties (I actually imagine her to be 17 or so, but June was 21). So she's been there, sexually frustrated as *fuck,* for years and years, fantasising about djinn or mythical heroes like Zal and shit (because it's not like a flesh and blood guy could ever have a chance).

She’s been stuck there dreaming about Wild Ravishments (TM), and been hot and bothered thanks to whatever sexy sexy seductive magic our resident creepy stalker wizard has been throwing her way.

FINALLY her dark shadow lover has arrived!

So, of course she falls for the first guy that shows up. She doesn't know what the fuck, except

So. You know. He’s like

“What do I do now? Is this how you heterosexual? What does a modern, liberated 9th century Arab girl even want from a man? Poetry? Shall I try poetry?”

And she’s like

Two fools deluding themselves.

Which is a shame. Because they really are cute in their own, innocent fairytale way. And really pretty, too.

While Abu, who's the smartest of the bunch and who *does* know a vagina-incompatible guy when he sees one, sighs in exasperation...

Look, he is a pretty lad. It would *not* be the first time a guy's had a crush on him (also insert here an essay about how the love of a man for his beautiful youth was THE most common form of love in the aforementioned medieval Persian poetry)... so he's done all this shit for his beloved Ahmad, saved his life time and time again (NOT UNLIKE A CERTAIN WIZARD with his equally dim Pwinzezz) and the guy still doesn't get it.

No amount of pretty, shirtless, glistening and collared boys can help poor Abu's cause. Ahmad, buddy, you may have got your eyesight back, but you're still blind.

Jaffar, on the other hand, basically fucking brought Ahmad up from a baby. He *knows* what's up; knows it intimately. So it's honestly no surprise that he looks so fucking satisfied (and disturbingly horny) when he sees Ahmad in the marketplace. His plan of turning Ahmad into a sex object for other guys is complete, and he looks like he's even tempted to sample summa that.

Just for a test drive, you know. He is an engineer after all.

But no. Even if he arranges Ahmad out of the way and keeps on creeping on Ze Pwinzezz, proving his love over

and

over...

Nothing comes out of it.

"Goddammit, bitch! At least *I* am into pussy! I am the LONE bisexual penis-owner in this sea of gays!"

But all to no avail: in the classic tragedy of the guy who's everything Yassamin's dreamed of (cultured... sensitive... an eye for rakish beggar fashions that are *so* chic for 816 CE...) turning out to be a closet case, she hurtles on towards a lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction.

(A medieval Muslim princess glomping a guy she’s not married to, in public?! See what a raunchy little wench we lost here? O, the potential!)

When the guy who's quite clearly a fucking expert at hot hard kinky wizard sex, the guy who can control the elements and who builds fucking sex toys in his basement, the only one who could’ve truly helped that Babylonian harlot within her to flourish, hurtles towards the Tigris with an arrow in his skull.

Just fucking wait until he gets back onto Tumblr and writes a seething post on how this is a classic oppression case. #panthersexualerasure #anti-persian sentiment #MUGGLES!

And so it comes to pass that Ahmad, the guy who's confessed he has had 365 wives and doesn't know how to love them, enters into marriage with wife no. 366.

Note that she’s wearing part drag with that turban again, so I reckon she’s starting to realise what’s up. And I suppose the nosebag helps collect all her tears of DEEP REGRET AT NOT HAVING CHOSEN THE HOT SEX WIZARD INSTEAD.

Abu, however, knows what up, and makes his exit from this charade along. A. Fucking. Rainbow.

Have fun discovering the truth about yourselves in, oh, maybe the next 20 years of sexual frustration, guys!

[bigskydreaming]

I’m rewatching X-Men (2000) for the first time in a long time and besides finding it exquisitely nostalgic, I keep finding myself thinking, “Damn, [character] is kind of OP” with literally every. Single. Character. And it’s funny now to think of how crazy powerful all the X-Men are compared to say, the Avengers, where I feel like the only god-tier power the MCU ever delivered was Captain Marvel and maybe Thor in Ragnarok. I guess the first X-Men kind of downplays Jean Gray’s powers, and there are cool take-downs like Magneto’s iconic “That remarkable metal doesn’t run through your entire body, does it?” line and Toad getting fried by Storm, but I feel like it’s so fun that most of the time literally every character is OP. Anyway, I wanted to ask you as an X-Men expert, have they always been so cool and powerful, or do the comics toggle back-and-forth with how powerful they are like the later X-Men movies did? And did comics Avengers and Fantastic Four ever think they had a chance vs. the X-Men?

LOL its ironic, I kinda consider them to be massively UNDERPOWERED in the X-Men films, but also I hate everything about them because Singer, so who's unbiased, not THIS guy!

For the most part it depends on the character. Like, you know Bobby's my Blorbo above all Blorbos there, so the X-films in particular did a shitty job of depicting his actual power levels, but in their 'defense' I guess, so does every other adaptation. Nowhere but the comics has been consistent about him being portrayed as ridiculously OP as he is, which is kinda funny because for all that Iceman doesn't SEEM like he'd be a top tier power level kinda character, he's consistently been that way since the early 90s. Hell, for that matter, he and Jean were the original omega level mutants used to debut the term in its modern interpretation.

(A lot of people point out that omega was first used to describe Rachel Summers, who isn't considered an official omega level mutant these days, but that was by Sentinels describing her as an omega level THREAT, so I don't consider that the same thing as the OL classification mutants use among themselves, but just throwing that out there).

In the comics, there are different classifications, kinda, that mutants use to describe different power levels. Most mutants are gamma or beta mutants. Most combatant mutants like major X-Men and foes, such as Cyclops, Bishop, Psylocke, Emma Frost, etc, are alpha level mutants.

Omega mutants are the rarest of the rare, and are, simply put....god-tier mutants. Their literal definition is mutants whose upper levels of power are beyond any ability to measurably quantify. A lot of people default to calling them infinitely powerful, which isn't quite INaccurate, but also isn't quite accurate....its more like....they're mutants who will never stop finding new ways to grow and advance their abilities, who have no upper ceiling to their powers...though all of them reach different tiers of ACTUALLY utilized power at different times/lengths of time.

A ton of people HATE the omega concept because frankly, it DOES make those with that designation overpowered as fuck but I like to point to DC and the Justice League which has always been full of god-tier characters who are nevertheless possible to write for and give relatable issues and equivalent foes. Personally though, I've always loved it for the narrative possibilities rather than the power levels per se. I like it because omegas are like, ultimate examples of evolution (Marvel style, lol, as in the kind they always have go hand in hand with mutants but uh, isn't always scientifically on point haha). But I mean, they're individual mutants who embody the concept of constant, unending evolution. The view of omega mutants as just the most powerful misses the point, IMO...part of why I hate Bobby's constant cycle of 'untapped potential' storylines (his most often recurring narrative) is because it fails to acknowledge that omegas like him CAN'T ever fully realize their potential, just MORE of it, because like evolution, there is no actual intended ENDPOINT for his or any other omega's powers. There will always be more. Further they can go.

Anyway....I know X-Men '97 emphasized Jean, Storm and Magneto as omegas, but even it didn't actually convey the level their powers are at in the comics, other than Magneto doing the global EMP thing. Omegas can pretty much all affect things on a global scale. A group of twelve of them in the comics recently terraformed Mars, in order to relocate a bunch of mutants called the Arakkii there after they returned from their 4,000 year long war in a demon dimension, protecting Earth from being invaded by it. (Long story).

But yeah, so omegas are a thing in the comics, and no adaptation has quite yet even scratched the surface of what they can do in the comics. There's only 12 acknowledged omegas out of all the Earthborn mutants (though Hickman's list is shit IMO and its ridiculous that there's only one person of color on it, Storm, and there's several other mutants of color I'd happily add to it if given the chance to balance things out), but the Arakkii (who are all black-coded if not actually black, because of where and when Arakko/Okkara originally existed on Earth before Amenth invaded 4K years ago), have a similar number of omegas of their own. But again, we're talking around 12 mutants EACH, among their total respective populations of about a million mutants each.

Anyway, the big four of the omegas, the major names among the X-Men, are Jean, Storm, Bobby and Magneto, with the other Earth omegas being Exodus, Elixir, Hope Summers, Absolon Mercator, Jamie Braddock, Proteus, Gabriel Summers/Vulcan and Quentin Quire (sigh). And then on the Arakkii side there was Isca the Unbeaten and her sister Genesis, Apocalypse's wife, Lactuca, Sobunar, Xilo, Ora Serrata, Lycaon, Tarn, Lodus Logos, Idyll, Kobak Never-Held, and Apocalypse and Genesis' kids, the original four Horsemen. Plus they keep going back and forth on whether or not White Sword is an omega or just a really powerful External, but whatever, I digress. Anyway, that list isn't accurate anymore because as of Genesis War, a few of them are dead, just like on the Earth list Hope is....transcended I guess you could say, lol, and Elixir and Proteus are back in the White Hot Room with her and who knows where the fuck Mercator is these days, but like.

Point is, the omegas are cosmic level. Jean's current solo literally has her being called a cosmic entity, because yeah, she's one with the Phoenix again but since the Phoenix has long been described as a future point of her own evolution and was recently solidified as like, a mass gestalt of mutant life force and psyche that was collected within her and her power like a nexus point, its kinda one and the same. Storm's solo is said to have plans to have her interact with the Abstracts of the Universe (the like, ultimate top-tier beings in it), Eternity and Oblivion.

Bobby's been quite literally unkillable since the early 2000s at least, as in he's been hit with a nuke and atomized, been blown up MULTIPLE times, and he just makes himself new bodies out of the next nearest moisture. He once started a new Ice Age, can create armies of semi-autonomous ice giants, teleport anywhere there's water, etc. Oh yeah, and since he's the walking embodiment of the future heat-death of the universe, he's also frozen reality on a quantum level to quarantine a cosmic tier threat. Oh AND frozen Hell. Jean reignited a sun recently. Storm took out an alien mercenary army in seconds by just hitting them with Jupiter-level atmospheric pressure with a snap of her fingers, and the only thing about that which actually required she exert herself came from holding BACK enough that her allies standing mere feet away weren't affected the same as her targeted enemies. Vulcan talked about obliterating Mars when he got cranky, and everyone took that very seriously because he can absolutely fucking do it. Any of them can.

There's a reason X-fans are sore about how editorially scripted AvX went, and not just because the X-Men were known to be a lesser priority at that time due to the film rights, so they were never going to get to be the 'winners' of that, ideologically, even though the optics for how that fight started were not actually as great for the Avengers as Marvel seems to think they were. But it also has a lot to do with the fact with all credit to the Avengers heavy-hitters, which there are quite a few of, they tend to get their powers/origins from cosmic storylines far away from Earth, hail from other dimensions like Asgard, etc, whereas mutants have been home-growing cosmic tier fighters on Earth for decades now, and that was pretty much treated like a non-factor.

None of the omegas (and Magneto and Storm may not have OFFICIALLY been listed as such yet, but Bobby was, and its not like they actually got any power UPGRADES when they were finally canonized as omegas, it just was a label change acknowledging the power they've always been depicted as having) actually played definitive roles in that, and again, when you've got global threats in one side's ranks that you refuse to acknowledge as such in order to make sense of pitting them against opponents they should be able to handle with a finger snap, it does tend to make stans cranky. Its like yeah, they gave me a panel of Bobby fighting Red Hulk in the background, but that was the extent of his impact on AvX as a whole, even though he'd quite literally taken Thor on, solo, mere months before during the Dark Iceman arc.

But yeah, you say AvX around X-fans, we will hiss at the memory like a snake. Was not fun for us. And again, this isn't to disparage the cosmic tier characters the Avengers have, and of the Fantastic Four, Sue and Johnny are right up there at the top of any power ranking system one might care to devise. But...like....mutants tend to deal with their threats internally in the Marvel universe, so every mutant alive has known for decades that Magneto, Storm, Iceman and Jean should not be locked in a room together and told to fight because without nonomegas who can't actually survive the stuff they can around them to remind them to keep their power levels DOWN, those four could very easily blow up the Earth before they even realize what happened since omegas vs omegas equals unlimited escalation.

Meanwhile, it was literally only during the Krakoan era that anyone OUTSIDE of mutants sat up and took note of the omega classification (which has existed for decades) even being a THING, let alone mutants casually being like 'oh yeah, we have like, twelve of those guys.'

LOL, so anyway. Yeah, it is kinda funny to hear the X-Men in existing adaptations described as OP, because none of them even come close to scratching the surface of how many of the X-Men are portrayed in the comics. I have very little interest in the MCU as a whole, and am not expecting to be a fan of their take on the X-Men but I am very curious to see which X-Men they emphasize as the heavy-hitters and what level of power they depict them as being at. For better or worse, whether fans like it or hate it, there's a good dozen of them who can go toe to toe with literal gods without breaking a sweat.

(Like, literally literally, not how Kalen usually uses literally literally. Bobby single-handedly thwarted a Loki 'take over Asgard' scheme in the EIGHTIES, at a time when only Thor himself was going one on one with his brother and if he wasn't around, Loki was considered a 'bring your whole team' kind of threat. And this was a full decade before the omega term was even a thing. Thor's canonically been wary of Bobby since the latter was SIXTEEN because he considers him to be a baby Ymir, the father of all frost giants. He was literally playing poker with other Avengers when he sensed Bobby go Dark Side during the Dark Iceman arc and his face went 'oh fuck.' You know how powerful you have to be to make Thor's face go 'oh fuck'?)

(Fimbulvetr is the Asgardian term for the Everwinter, the start of Ragnarok. Its a Ymir thing. Incidentally, after AvX when the X-Men and Avengers were making a point to cooperate, Thor and Bobby teamed up against Ymir himself, and THEN Marvel was perfectly happy to allow Bobby to kick his ass solo and be like 'what, was that supposed to be hard' to an incredulous Thor, BUT I DIGRESS).

But anyway, the official omega list is very recent, but everyone on it like Storm, Jean, Bobby and Magneto have all been consistently powerful as fuck since the 80s, MINIMUM. Bobby's 80s solo was used to debut Oblivion, an Abstract of the Universe, Storm was channeling the energy of multiple stars when fighting the Brood in space, and that was all decades ago. They've all had occasions of being nerfed since then, but for the past decade or so, the Big Four have had relatively few occasions of that compared to any point before, and Marvel's been more pointed about keeping their upper ranges of power more normalized for them.

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

In celebration of me just picking up a Toyota Altezza Gita/Lexus IS300 Sportcross what are some of your favourite wagons or shooting brakes

yOOOOOO!!!!

Okay now I have to ask, is it actually an imported Toyota or did you add that just for potential clarification?

I should give context for folx out there (apparently folx is a 'more friendly' spelling to some? oh the wild wonders of language): y'all know how Lexus is a brand Toyota founded to move upmarket? Yeah, they didn't need to do that at home because Japan is much better protected from too-good-for-Toyotas-itis: I mean, if the emperor can drive (well, be driven in) Toyotas I am pretty sure you can afford to be seen in one. As a result, until 2005 Japan got Lexus models but not the Lexus brand, receiving them with Toyota branding instead (and different model names too, since the two letter acronyms were a Lexus thing).

To get to your question, though:

SEDANS I LIKE THE WAGON VERSION OF TOO

Toyota Altezza Gita/Lexus IS300 Sportcross (:D)

Indeed, I love your car! The JZ (for the folx: a six cylinder inline engine series widely regarded to be Toyota's best, capable of truly monstrous power with the right hands fiddling under the hood), the sporty, timeless styling, Toyota reliability and Lexus build quality, how no matter the market they refused to use a normal word for wagon, the chrome taillights so iconic they spawned an entire trend in 2000s car styling (especially aftermarket - hell, they still call them Altezza taillights!)... and that gauge cluster oh my GAWD

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII Wagon

I don't think the street equivalent of one of the most legendary rally cars (and certainly, with the Subaru Impreza WRX STI, part of the most legendary rally war) needs any introduction. I just wanted to make sure you knew that between '05 and '07 the closest thing to a rally car a dealer would sell you also came in wagon form. In Japan only, of course. Because if Japan can't keep a cool thing to themselves, they'll make a cooler version to keep to themselves. Always.

Morris Mini Traveller/Austin Mini Countryman/Mini Clubman Estate

How do Mini fans do it, man

Who doesn't love the Mini? Who doesn't love the wagon's funky rear doors?

And who doesn't hate the time they tried to modernize its front end for the 70s? Me.

Like come on guys. You need to find within yourselves the intellectual honesty to admit that this fucks.

I rest my case. Let's move on.

Citroën DS Break/Familiale/Safari/Estate/Station Wagon

How do Citroën fans do it, man

Yes, the steering wheel had a single spoke - and by the way, that's it straight. It was angled like that so that, in a crash, it would guide your your body to the right - because there weren't seatbelts yet in 1955. Yeah. This is a 1955 design. The French are always been and likely always will be hellbent on being weird - and the Citroën DS is a distillation of the good that can come from that. It had pillarless windows! variable height suspension so effective you could only tell you had a flat by sound - and could change that flat by just having the suspension lift it for you! It had rear fenders held on by one bolt! Hell, in 1967, it got directional lights that turned with the wheels!!!!

IN 1967!!!! Few cars have them right now today!!!

Oh, and also, most interesting to us right now, it has the greatest vibe gap between sedan and wagon I have ever seen. Allow me to illustrate (and slightly exacerbate by cherry picking examples).

You get out of this with suit and tie and a watch you change the time of with felt tweezers.

You get out of this with a lab coat, plane goggles, a propeller tophat and a concoction that violates a semester's worth of laws of physics. And, potentially, seven of the biggest freaks the planet could muster, because yes, this could seat up to eight, thanks to a front bench, a middle bench, and trunk seats. "You mean a third row?" HAHA. NO.

Honorable mentions:

Mazda 6, Subaru Impreza, Toyota Corolla KE70, Audi RS4, BMW E30, Fiat 500 Giardinetta, most '60s yankee landyachts that got a wagon, and all the ones that escape me at this moment

WAGONS I LIKE MORE THAN THE SEDAN VERSION

Audi RS6 (second generation)

Here's what happened (presumably): Audi had bought Lamborghini. Great! Now Lamborghinis could use Audi interior bits, a very welcome change because Lamborghini were not exactly the interior controls GOATs. (To stick to a representative example and not be here all day, when set to Fahrenheit the Diablo's digital climate controls changed the temperature by two degree increments except between 63F and 64F and 72F and 73F. And at the extremes it said LOF and HIF because the F did not go away. So yeah.) But this also gave Audi access to Lamborghini parts - and, a couple years in, one of the engineers told the others "Jo [German for "Yo"], there's gotta be something cool we can do with Lamborghini parts!" And the other was like "Maybe we can make the new RS6 [Audian for Real Sporty version of the A6 executive sedan] with a Lambo V10! That'd be a fast fucking sedan." And the first one replied "And a fast fucking wagon too!" And their eyes locked, lighting up with villainous thrill.

I mean, I could wax lyrical about the all wheel drive and super expensy carbon ceramic brakes and the flared fenders et al but if this garbage 5 second clip does not convince you that this busts ass how could I.

Toyota Corolla E110

Well that's quite the jump. How could I possibly be interested in a car like this? If cars were meals this would be a plate of warm water. There is only one way to possibly get excited about a car this boring: personal significance. And sure enough, my Yaris-pursuing father was instead upsold a Corolla exactly like this, discounted to empty the lot in preparation for its facelift - and one day he used it to drive my momma to a hospital, they got out of it in two, and some tribulations later they got back in it in three - third being a hot-off-the-press me. This, then, was the car that was in the driveway through my stumbling infancy - and never hinted at letting us down. We then traded it for an Opel that gave us loads of trouble, the recipient traded it for an Audi that gave him loads of trouble, and on the Corolla kept getting passed on right to wherever it rests today, never letting anyone down - loyalty likely rewarded by a crusher turning it to mush. And I want another shot at doing this car right.

Okay, actually, there's another way to get excited about such a car: find out about the inevitable sick-ass Japan-only version. In this case Toyota figured they'd fit the Sprinter Carib (because Corolla wasn't near a silly enough name for the Japanese market) with a 20V 4A-GE Blacktop and a 6 speed manual, or in less technical terms "one of the greatest non-turbo powertrains of its size to ever graze a production car". Presumably just for the sake of keeping it Japan-only for the sake of annoying me personally.

Well, joke's on them, because my idea goes even harder: replicating the powertrain the hatchback version competed in World Rally Championship with - 4WD and all.

This but wagon, essentially. And then bin it in a tree in 15 seconds like I always do on the rally sim.

Honorable mentions:

1970 Dodge Coronet SW, Nissan Stagea, Volvo 940/960 wagon (which I talked about in another post!), and again all the others that I forgot.

The shooting brakes are gonna need their separate post because otherwise it hits the image limit :/

Links in blue are posts of mine explaining the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

[tyrantisterror]

Wizard School Mysteries: Dance Clothes!

Book 1 of Wizard School Mysteries had a big fancy dance, and book 2 had a scene where our heroes went on a bar crawl that ended in the vaguely medieval fantasy land equivalent of a dance club. And I designed alternate outfits for my main characters to use in both these scenes, because there is something wrong with my brain.

James's Samhain outfit is excessively fancy, taking a lot of fashion from princes and nobles, so show that Rodrigo really worked hard to make James feel like he was equal with everyone else despite being a commoner. His clubbing outfit, by contrast, is meant to have a swashbuckler vibe to it, and his trickster animal motif is on display with a raven on his pauldron and a serpent/basilisk on his patch.

Now you know what I meant when I said Ivan was in hot pants in book 1. His clubbing outfit is also meant to be a swashbuckler, just a more "dated" version - 50's fantasy rather than modern D&D fantasy.

I knew Gretchen wouldn't be allowed to wear her hat in a big fancy dance, but I still wanted to keep her face shrouded in shadow for Story Reasons, so I went with a really elaborate veil based on some I saw when looking up medieval noblewomen's fashion. Her clubbing outfit, by contrast, is her fully taking the piss out of everyone while wearing her trademark hat.

Margot's dress for the fancy dance is one of the more modern, taking a few more explicit cues from prom dresses while still mixing in some old timey design elements. Her clubbing outfit... look, I'm not making excuses, you know what I'm about.

Rodrigo's fancy dance outfit has a lot of elements I found in medieval/renaissance fashion that I think would be "avant garde" in modern fashion - lots of asymmetry specifically. Rodrigo's gotta look both rich and kinda artsy. His clubbing outfit is based on various Red Mage designs from Final Fantasy, because goddamn do Red Mages have good fashion sense.

Serena's fancy dress is based on one worn by Sailor Moon with a few Celtic touches worked in. Her clubbing outfit is, like, "what if Sailor Moon went to a rave" I guess, just a bit obnoxious to fit her behavior in the "A Needleslly Gendered Night Out" chapter.

Charlotte's fancy outfit really tries to emphasize her spider bits while also making her a cute little princess, because juxtaposing cuteness and spidery-ness is a big part of her character. Her clubbing outfit is pretty normal as wizard clothes go, with the bulk of my design work focusing on figuring out what Charlotte's human guise looks like.

Polybeus didn't actually appear in the dance scene in book 1, but I made him an outfit anyway. It's not like it's the ONLY dance scene the series will ever have. His clubbing outfit is a play on the college movie trope of guys running around in togas - I have no idea if actual real life frat bros do this, but they certainly do it in movie a lot.

Next and final post for now: shenanigans!