#also even when i thought he was horrible 1) i didnt hate him 2) he was STILL one of the most compelling characters in the whole series

[bidokja]

"han yoohyun sucks as a younger brother" i have not said this phrase in years, like literally years, but how about you meet me in the fucking pit

[chimychoo]

HUGE TPOT 12 SPOILERS!

BUCKLE UP CHAT. CAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG THEORY!!!!!

Where do i begin?

So heres the thing, I watched TPOT 12 then took a shower right after. While taking said shower i took a moment to think about everything that went down. And thought of the wildest theory ever..

• XFHOV

LETS START FROM THE BEGINNING,

One and Three, right?

These two fellas have FINALLY appeared after 15 years! Why is that?

Here is the scene when X found out their value: 7!

Four, Seven, and X are celebrating and generally very happy. Who isnt happy?

Three and one.

Theyre clearly angered by this whole situation, but why? Who are they angry at?

Theres three possible options:

1. Seven. But that wouldnt make sense, huh? Basically every algebralien has SOME sort of grudge held against him, so its nothing new. Scratch that!

2. Four. Its possible, four has done alot of things. But thats not who im personally going to focus on. Well, partially at least.

That leaves one more person!

3. X. But why them?

"Theyre just a little silly dude, they did nothing wrong!" And youre right. Thats exactly why theyre a target.

• THREE AND ONE'S CAPYIVITY

Youre probably wondering, why am i focusing on X, and not four? Four is more of a suspect, after all.

Think about it this way,

Three is trapped in a prison inside of Four's school, so four put him there! (They are the only one with control over that place anyway.)

One is trapped inside of the moon. There isnt really any solid proof to prove my theory with this one, but she came out during TPOT. She clearly had the ability to escape and didnt seem tired out and/or surprised that she finally left her prison. One actually seems happy and collected, even going as far as "greeting everyone" once she's out. She chose to come out at this time, just like how she chose to mess with Two's show.

One also confirmed that shes an "old friend of Two's." If One is suddenly against Two after all the years of them knowing each other, Two clearly did something to her.

• MUTUAL CONNECTIONS

And youre STILL probably wondering, "Chim! You still didnt explain what X has to do with all of this!"

Four and Two hate eachother, this hatred being caused by Two when they stole more than HALF of the bfb cast.

(They seem to not be familiar with eachother when they "first" meet. Im not exactly sure why here HELP.)

But anyway!

Who does Four have a good friendship with? X!

Who does Two have a good friendship with? Also X!

X is what keeps them sane around eachother, the only main reason why they stick around.

If anything bad were to happen to X, Four and Two clearly have the power and ability to get back at whatever or WHOever caused this harm.

One and Three did something to X, and it resulted in Two and Four snapping.

• THREE'S PERSONALITY

Three has basically ZERO information on himself, we know nothing about the guy. But what we do know, is that hes agressive.

In the Number Playground Chronicles, we get an article that explains an event that takes place, Three being apart of it. The article reads:

(To reduce confusion, ill be adding the names for you guys to differenciate whos who.)

"(Five)Integer did not pick up the ball when dropped, and Three Integer, the person playing with him, became impatient. (Five)Integer was angry at (Three)Integer because, Three Integer could simply pick up the ball and throw it to (Five)Integer, and (Three)Integer and (Five)Integer could keep playing.

"FOAMING THREE INTEGER"

The horrible, tragic incident happened at 10:13 AM. Three Integer became Upset.

Three Integer at 10:16, Angry.

Three Integer at 10:31, Furious.

Three Integer at 10:24, and "Foaming."

Three Integer at 10:39, when he started to produce smoke.

(Five)Integer picked up the ball at 6:17 PM."

This event did truly happen, we can see the beginning of it play out in the first few seconds of XFOHV:

Three was so angry and REFUSED to even touch the ball. Five had to go pick it up themself HOURS after the incident.

Three also WILLINGLY closed the cell door after it was opened. He couldve escaped, yet he didnt. I have two possible reasons for this:

1. He's afraid of Four catching him, so he followed orders and stayed put.

2. Three's gone insane after a decade and a half of being all alone, to the point that he WANTS to stay inside.

• ONE'S MOTIVES

One seems like a friendly character, shes smiling in basically the ENTIRETY of her screentime, (minus the part when she conversed with Fanny.)

But something about her smile isnt right, its almost disturbing. The way she grins in the oddest situations,

She is seen with a list during the post-credits scene, with four names on it that are all crossed out, meaning they are "completed."

□ Bell.

□ Bomby.

□ Fanny.

□ Ice Cube.

Notice how all four of these contestants were in some sort of distress during that moment, and One helped them out! In exchange for a "favor."

1. She helped Bell escape elimination by removing her string (something that annoyed Bell constantly due to contestants activley climbing it.) And hiding her.

2. She helped Bomby escape elimination by hiding him.

3. She gave Fanny a new mouth, discarding the need to spend hours at a time searching for it in the ocean.

4. She gave Ice Cube a new pair of legs, allowing her to walk again.

What exactly does One need these favors for? Revenge against Two, of course!

● ONE AND TWO'S FRIENDSHIP

Theres a popular theory stating that Two was kicked out of the equation playground, this would clear up the confusion as to why they basically NEVER appear in the subscriber specials.

Maybe this is because Two hates math! They said it to Gaty in one of the episodes.

I also believe that One was also kicked out. Why, you may ask?

Take a look at this scene in the beginning of TPOT 11:

One's picture was hidden underneath Seven's. As if nobody(COUGH COUGH. Espcially four) wanted her to be mentioned so they simply hid her.

Maybe this is how One and Two became friends, two rejects.

● RANDOM THINGS THAT GET THEIR OWN SECTION CAUSE IDK WHERE ELSE TO PUT THEM

1. How the HELL did One get a mouth and... legs?

2. Judging by One's little room, she probably really likes space and astronomy, maybe thats way the moon was where she was sent.

3. Kinda freaky to think that One was there in the moon the ENTIRE time. Throughout every single episode of the series from BFDI 1A to TPOT9, and we never knew.

Yeah tbh idk what else to say this was just a little info dump cause my mind was PACKED. anyways yeah tell me if i missed anything anf let me know about your little theories and opinions on mine! :3

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I need to start screenshotting posts i like but anyways

There was one where color tried to get nightmare to learn what mortals need, that at first they didnt have a kitchen so they had to eat while they were out terrorising people.

Just stuff like that, n just generally being bad. Ripping the heart out of a childs chest infront of their mother, forcing someone to eat their pet etc.

Like nightmare is horrible yk

And yk how some people say he does that because of trauma, he doesn't know better and allat.

Okay so take ALL THAT, and let them learn nightmare can love, he has loved, he had a spouse and a friend group, he knows what mortals need, he knows what to do when they are sick he has taken care of his sick spouse before etc.

Basically im just thinking about their reaction when learning nightmare knows their needs, has felt love before etc. But he does it because he can, and it makes him happy (dude is def a sadist after them 999 apples ykyk)

Like obviously its also a fear of being vulnerable and stuff and needing to be the one in power because not being that scares him because villagers decided to hate on a 6 year old, but also he can just be cruel and sadistic 🤷‍♀️

I also feel it’s important to realize that there are those who don’t feel love, or describe themselves as loveless, and has never or would never do half of anything that nightmare has done.

but ultimately, i feel the ones who’d have an issue with it morally off the top of my head are swap, dream, color, delta, cross, epic. possibly many more but that’s my first thoughts.

killer definitely wouldn’t care about it. It’s the least of his concerns. hes too busy surviving nightmare to care about if the man is capable of love or not. he’d only care about it in Stage 2 if it means he could manipulate those emotions in his favor.

i have no doubt that the fawn response is something deeply ingrained in killer—whatever hes had to do to either survive, avoid inconvenience (stage 2) and pain (stage 1), or just whatever will get it over quicker or will make nightmare/chara leave him alone faster.

;would be interesting to explore how killers trauma responses would play out in the context of his dissociative disorder/stages. Especially in the context of one sided killermare where killer has to play his new role as nightmares lover. at most he’ll find small, easily deniable ways to inconvenience, annoy, anger, or upset nightmare. just because he can.

Murder and Horror, i find a little harder to say mostly because neither are exactly free from “sin” themselves so to speak, but they also arent killer; who has lived in this type of environment for years. killer does not have things like shame, anger, embarrassment, guilt, pride, morals, things like that—hindering him, he will do whatever he thinks he must. any emotions like that are greatly suppressed and dissociated—even in stages such as stage 1 where they’re very intense.

i can see this actually being something killer struggles to actually unpack and allow himself to feel in therapy—any anger or hatred towards nightmare or chara. i can see a lot of emotional outbursts from stages 1 and 3.

this is because killer has learned that emotions are dangerous, and wouldn’t get him anywhere. murder’s entire thing is fighting back in an endless loop against his human, and horror refused to be sacrificed to help his AU, fought back, and then went even further by destroying the core, lobotomzing alphys, and then leading Snowdin into eating humans seemingly just to spite Undyne.

I doubt they’d care at all if nightmare is capable of love or care or not, they’d probably not like him regardless. and whereas killer is unable to even really hate nightmare due to the danger surrounding such emotions (especially in stage 2, although im sure he’s very capable of despising nightmare in stage 3), horror and murder definitely could hate nightmare. which would mean their negative emotions are directly making nightmare stronger lmao.

{ @brokenramunebottle }

[greenfiend]

my older sister is just watching s4 for the first time when her toddler is put to bed. total GA, not a queer audience member, didn't catch up with anything prior to s4 but remembers enough to understand what's going on.

here are her thoughts before she embarks on the final ep!

she's a massive argyle fan - the way he is just making pizza when they're prepping to fight a demon haha

she's 'scared to watch' the finale: "I am scared of the horrible basketball twat to ruin their plan. Hate him"

"I also now feel like I need to rewatch seasons 1 and 2"

"Also. I know this is probably hella unpopular opinion but I really dislike Millie Bobby brown. She’s not a bad actress at all though"

"I love will"

I'll include our exact convo about this:

Sis: Will is in love with Mike right? It’s so adorable and heartbreaking

me: I KNOW. you wouldnt believe how many people didnt pick up on that and still think will is in love with eleven like wtf

sis: WHAT. no way

me: they’re like ‘there werent gay people in the 80s’

sis: omg stop

then she started talking about the hella other things going on. "There’s actually no characters I don’t like apart from the ones you’re supposed to not like." she said there's so many 'bad dads', she HATES papa lmao ('he's so desperate and cringe. "Approve of me even tho I treat you like shit!")

she started by watching while she works in her studio so probs missed all the mike clues, but she's fully focussed now for the finale, and it sounds like she'll be more than thrilled to find byler is requited as she adores will!

i'll update her thoughts post-finale when they come in :) let's see if she picks up on it!

I absolutely love knowing people’s thoughts when they watch ST for the first time. 😃

I think the majority of people who have paid some attention figured out fairly easily that Will is gay and that he loves Mike! My partner figure out he was gay from the very beginning. But with Mike… I tried to make them guess why Mike couldn’t love El and it took a while but finally they guessed correctly. Lol

When it comes to Mike, the clues are there but El is covering them up so to speak. The mere fact that he has a girlfriend is making most people assume that he’s straight. Especially because El is such a focus in the show.

I remember for me as a GA, the thought of Will/Mike was always somewhat of a possibility in my head- just because they are so emotionally intimate. Even though I didn’t know if the writers were going that direction, I definitely never ruled it out.

Overall, I think most of the GA will be satisfied with Will/Mike, especially if it’s all explained explicitly enough for them!

Thanks for the ask!

[echowithpain]

Alrighty!!! Here we go! ✨✨✨

First, -1/2 point for the old dude who beat up the "cart cop"

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with the fact that he beat him up. I think it was a decent twist cause I was originally expecting the security guard or someone else who got him from behind. My problem was "Why the heck did he turn out to be an escaped convict in hiding or whatever?"

Literally why??? He could've just been an old dude who was pissed at the kid for causing trouble and "stealing his job". I was so on board with everything until they revealed that the old guy wasn't actually the old guy. And Athena said she figured it out because he was "too camera shy"??? Lots of people are camera shy?? Yes he was hiding his face but I figured that was just because he was used to the kid being there so he was more annoyed than angry, or he just really didn't like being recorded. I know people like that and they aren't criminals (at least I hope not lmao 😂)

I get that 911 wants to do the "bet you didn't see this coming!" thing all the time, but why do the stakes have to be so high? I get it's a drama but I literally said in my last Echos Essays that I wanted Athena to get a bad feeling about someone but they DON'T turn out to be a serial killer or anything like that, they're just a regular person who maybe needs to talk a couple things out in therapy

They didn't need to go to the extreme or come up with a reason for why the old guy was capable of such violence, just having the small twist that it was him who beat up the kid instead of the security guy was enough.

So yeah... -1/2 point cause it took me out of the episode (even though it was at the end)

...

Umm... Is there anything else that I have problems with?? 🤔🤔🤔 I can't think of anything off the top of my head so I'll just list the things I loved until I remember something ✨

THINGS I LOVED: 💖Brad💖

Brad was freaking incredible this episode 😂💖😂 From watching his own show with the entire fire station (and repeating his lines), to being overdramatic and thinking everyone hated it and blaming the things they criticized on the network 😂, to being at the accident with them and seeing someone was passed out in a car and trying to help (yes he didn't know about the c-brace and gurney, but he was learning and genuinely wanted to help someone 💖), to the way I couldn't tell if he was angry or turned on when Bobby yelled at him 😭😭😭, to his serious heartfelt talk with Eddie about their kids 🥺-

F U U U U U C K !!!!!!!!!!!

I just remembered that Maddie's PREGNANT!!!!! AND SHE GETS KIDNAPPED NEXT EPISODE IN MARCH!!!!!!

Holy shit holy shit holy shit!!!!! HOLY FUCK IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT THAT WOULD BE HAPPENING WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT!!! I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HER GETTING KIDNAPPED AGAIN AMD HOW LAST TIME SHE WAS IT WAS HER ABUSIVE EX HUSBAND WHO SHE ENDED UP HAVING TO KILL!!!! THE FACT THAT SHE IS PREGNANT DIDNT EVEN CROSS MY MIND HOLY FUCK!!!! WHAT THE SHIT!!!!! OH GOD WHAT IF THIS HURTS THE BABY 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Shit fuck wait but that's the promo not this episode I gotta focus, holy shit, fuck.... FUCK!!!! Okay ummm... Shit my fucking train of thought... fuck... Brad was great and dramatic and I still love him. Also loved the fact that he helped(?) the guy who was trying to kill himself to not want to kill himself anymore while also contemplating jumping himself and having to be talked down by the guy who was going to jump in the first place??? This dude is so dramatic and emotional ❤️‍🩹 Brad's back on his show but I hope we still get to see more of him 💖

Plus the fire fam guest starring in the episode he wakes up from the coma but being horrible actors? 😂😂😂 Do you think Christopher is gonna see the episode his dad is in? 🥺❤️‍🩹 (Also real quick, idk how much skill it takes for an actor to act as a character who's bad at acting but props to them because I just know it's always hilarious 😂 First thing that comes to mind is that one Supernatural episode where Sam and Dean were transported to "the real world" and replaced their actors 😂)

Hen and Bobby not being in the scene, probably by choice, was a mood and a half 😂 ALSO HEN USING THAT MED SCHOOL DOCTOR KNOWLEDGE LETS GOOO??? They remembered she went through that arc???? You could write it off as paramedic stuff, but paramedics know the stuff that'll get you to the doctors alive, and the doctors deal with the rest of the stuff (usually, this show is pretty lenient on what the paramedics are supposed to do. ie, when Eddie had to extract a bomb from a dude's thigh, Hen sticking her hand in a patient to keep them stable, Eddie doing the whatever he did to the kid who was ass backwards so he wouldn't die, etc.) I'm chosing to believe they remembered she studied to be a doctor 🥰

EDDIE!!!! EDDIE CALLED CHRISTOPHER AND HAD AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH HIM 🤩💖���💖🤩💖🤩 AND IT HURT MY FEELINGS 😭💔😭💔😭💔😭😭💔😭💔

"I can get an autograph and you can put it up in your room!" "So you'll send it to me? 😃"

Like, damn dude I really wasn't expecting that 😭😭😭 Why did the show have to hurt me like that? What did I ever do to you except love you and criticize you when needed? 😭😭😭 That doesn't give you an excuse hurt me like that 😭💔😭💔😭 Ow geez. Not funny. Cried. Bitch.

Okay um, sewer water rescue was nice. I love how I made a joke about kissing under the sewer water rainbow, and then a couple kissed under the sewer water rainbow 😂😂😂😂😂 I swear you can't write this shit

...Do I really not have any complaints besides the old dude being a secret criminal?

Oh, no, wait

-1/2 point for the brief mention of Temu. Still gotta be petty 🤭💅✨

Buuuut it did give us the scene of Eddie enjoying Bucks baking and Buck (and the audience) finding out that he's looking to move back to El Paso 🥺🥺🥺

Nah, I'm still gonna be petty 😘

But also EDDIEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭 anD THE COUCH MENTIONED AGAIN?!?!?!? They were so domestic holy shit I've missed them hanging out 😭💖

...I'm trying to remember anything else but that's genuinely all I've got. To be fair, I had a bunch of fun this episode and was laughing a LOT 😂😂😂

So yeah! I think that's it 😁

FINAL SCORE: 🌈9/10🌈

-1/2 point for the old dude being a secret criminal, and -1/2 point for the brief Temu mention ✨

I legit had so much fun this episode, I was laughing so much I was interrupting the people I was watching the episode with 😂😂😂😂😂 When Brad said he finally felt like a real hero and then immediately banged his head on the firetruck mirror, I cackled so loud and my grandmother was confused/upset with me because it was so fast that she missed it and wanted to know why I suddenly burst out laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ah man, I love this show 🥰

...damn, it's not gonna be back until M A R C H 😭

Welp, see you then babes! I'll be lurking in the walls until it comes back 🙃

TCHAU!!!! 😘✌️✨

[gaz-light]

CW: Me but ugly

Ya know what fuck it. I don't intend to this mid week. I wanna do it now while I've got the time and honestly I'm a bit excited.

This is John. He's the guy I used to be. I don't have many other pictures of him but I saved these ones for this purpose. They're some of the few I could stand for some reason.

It's hard to think I ever used to look like that. Think or act the way I did. You could go back right now and tell him the events of the past like year or so and honestly he'd probably understand it. Would be too scared as shit nervous and doubtful to ever believe it. Hated himself too much to imagine it being this way.

This is how I started off on Hormones 1 year ago. 5/31/22. Somewhere between 11/7/21 and 4/9/22 everything went to shit. I crashed my motorcycle and broke my arm, ended up broke, didnt get into grad school, the girl I was madly in love with just let me know I was being replaced by someone with a pussy. It took about everything happy in my life turning to shit over night to finally crack the egg that I had been growing in for so long.

There were signs before. Things I always knew. Always hung out with girls. Liked sapphic content. Felt detachment from peers of my agab, enjoyed pretending at being an internet femboy. Horribly autistic. Fucking hated my body. Hated hated hated hated hated. I had a closeted sissy kink and dressed up FOR YEARS. So much more. Eventually I started hooking up with trannies the same way I hooked up with lesbians and things began to click. Something in me thought ya know what, I don't have to just admire and adore and yearn for them. Then a good friend of mine consoling me one April night more or less extended an invitation and I didn't look back.

And then she was born. I think these photos are from maybe a month post starting HRT. Would you believe I hadn't seen myself without facial hair in like 10 years before this point. I hadn't shaved it all off since I was 13. I'm hispanic. Greek and Cuban so I've had this accursed facial and body hair for fucking ever. I was so afraid the first time I picked up that razor. I didnt know if I'd like what was on the other side. I felt safe and secure in the validation I got from other people that I thought it'd be ok if I was just unhappy with myself forever. I hated whatever I was so much that I didnt have the energy to care for her.

Then I shaved.

I looked in the mirror and I thought that girl looked kinda cute. For the first time I really didnt think I looked so bad. My friends were very supportive thankfully. Not everyone was. Certainly not dear old dad who still wont call me by my name or gender me properly. The man who told me god had cursed him with 2 faggots. My little trans brother and I. The man who let me know I was a disappointment and that neither I or anyone of us were real women. I still havent forgiven him for so much. But I am trying to let it go. Even the cis people were kinda nice. I lost some who were kinda edgy friends from highschool. Nothing of value was lost.

Since then I've worked to navigate the professional world as a woman. My first boss at my first real post college job was this British woman from England who made my life kinda hell. Preyed upon and picked on me and embarrassed me professionally. One of the 2 other women at the office. She never would admit to it but I think she resented me for it. I was also the only tranny there. Well sorta. There was 1 other who worked down in facilities doing the trash and dishes for the labs. But not up there. Not on the 8th floor with us in the "war room".

And this is where and who we are now 1 year later. Same eyes. Same 5'0 looking ass. But happier. Smiles when she looks in the mirror. Can actually do things for herself. Set boundaries. Care. Maybe she can even love too. I've placed myself into countless lesbian romance fantasies and I feel like I have a shot at living them. I used to be like 200 pounds. I'm down to 128 and also built like a brick house full of muscle. I was horrified of being trapped in that body of mine forever and the fear and doubt that I'd never make it even this far scared me into doing nothing until i had little else to lose.

Let me leave you with some wise advice that friend who cracked my egg once gave to me: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.

Transitioning was the best decision I ever made for myself. Happy birthday Morrigan. I love you.

[ispreadrabieslikewildfire]

Please tell me about Harper and Feena!

OMEHAGUROHMEGAUR OKOKOKOKOKOKOK SOSOSOOSOSOSO (thamk yo uso much TEHE) alao im sorry if this makes NO SENSE im spilling my head into paragraphs and not proofreading rhis is gonna end HORRIBLY but i hope you enjoy😭!

Anwyay so harper and feena started when @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat asked me to draw a silly guy eating monster much and he turned into harper (ill link some pictures to show) and he felt lonely so i made him a friend called feena and theyve been a thibg since then HOLY SHIT I THINK ITS BEEN 2 YEARS?????

Harper and feena r supposed to be my silly ocs that are my go toos when i start daydreaming and drawing! Their not supoosed to have too much trauma and stuff (IM CONTAINING MYSELF) so i camt head empty and harper its also so when i draw them they make me happy they are my happyness. So becazue i cant give them trauma i make altermate realitoes where i CAN give them trauma!!

Im gonna make sections so i caj explain everthing so it can atleast try to make sense

1. THEIR RELATIONSHIP :3

Ok so when i started I made them friends ofc!! And i thought they where cool as hell so i started thinking about their relationship and i was thinking how wierd it would feel if they where a couple so their thing is that their completely platonic and are jist realy close friends that are realy comfortable with each other, i wouldnt say like 'siblings' but more like that one cousin that your realy close with. I like to think of them as denji and power from chainsaw man (however i see denji and power as more of siblings) but no matter how close they get with eachither they dont feel anything romantic :3 i have a thing that when they where 14/15 they where like fuck it lets kiss and they hated it!!!!! they wanted to die!!!!!

I also have different ages for them i draw them as for whatever mood im in! So i have toddler harper and feena (theyve met in primary school) and then children harper and feena (10-12) and then theres also teen (14-16) and preadult idk forgot what its called (17-19) and adult! (20-22) by 20-22 they have an appartment with 2 other roomates nadia and caspian i dont realy have a story for them yet however they do have designs. So basically they jsut spend their entire lives together as besties and this is their main world where their happy and have no trauma and are just silly!!

2. Sexualities n stuff

Well im nor good at this stuff since i realy have no kmowledge but i kinda just peojected me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto them...

Harper:

Bisexual, he/they. Dyslexic and/or is on the autism spectrum idk i dont think much about this

Feena:

Aro/ace or Asexual i havent decided, goes by anything. I honestly dont even know she is any and all illnesses

3. Childhood and all

So i dont wanna give them a traumatic childhood since their my silly chracters!!

HOWEVER, they do have some sort of backstories.

Feena:

Some sort of religious trauma, her family where 100% praise our lord and saviour jesus christ and she didnt feel part. Knew what she was when she was a teen and after harper came out and was more comfortable. Didnt tell her parents until she moved out, (they very obviously didnt take it well) however is still in touch with them!! Their just kinda realy uncomforable whenever the subject changes to jesus or gay stuff idk.

Harper:

Twas a bit (a lot) stupider than most people his age (austismmmmm) his parents payed more attention to their sisters so that they could have a better education instead of wasting their time on a child thatll never learn and refuses to listen (wasnt diagnosed till he was an adult so they thought he was being annoying purposefully). Tbh just whats a hug LMAO. He came out to his parents, they told him it was just a phase and theylll get out of it eventually.

So ya!

4. The cats need their own section

So ive always eanted these 2 cats, one called jester one called mariposa. So if i cant have them whats better than having my oc that represents me having them?

This is jester! (SHES PREFECT THIS IS HOW I ENVISION HER)

This is mariposa :3

5. Universes

Like i said since i dont want harper and feena to have too much trauma i create new universes for them! Other than my main ailly one theres another 3 i favour out of all the ones i make

1. I made a dystopian after apocolypse one (MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE ITS SO FUN TO MAKE!!) where the aftermath is that the world (well at leats where their living) is split into two, the privlidged and less priveledged (I NEED NAMES FOR THESE I DONT HAVE ANY) anywwy what i think i can best decribe this as is like the hunger games, where theres the 'capitol' and the 'districts' but instead of there being districts its all just survival of the fittest L lmao so yah. So after the apocolypse harper and feena are split up. Feena ends up with the privileged and harper ends up with the less. Harper finds a place he can call 'home' (FOUNDFAMILYFOUNDFMILYFOUNDFAMILY) and feena ends up on the other side where she gets her memories wiped and she then hets brainwashed to belive she was sent down as a gift from god during hard times and everyone is supposed to worship her (tehe i wont bother yiu with any more of this story)

2. Silly little 80s teen ghost busting show like scooby doo with harper feena nadia and caspian

3. detective harper and feena (havent built a lot)

6. I FORGOT TO ADD DYNAMIC

So basically feena can be smart when she wants to but chooses to fuck around with harper, quite a bitch if you guys just met. Pretty resereved when shes around people she doesnt know amd her social skills arent great. If you give her a chance she can be quite nice and passionate. Can ramble for hours on ends

Harper, guys hes trying his best. Loud, can ramble for hours on end too.

And thats all i can think of...sorry for ramblong so much i jist realy love them. i dont expect anyonw to actually read this... Once again this is just me projecting me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto harper anf feena!

Thank you @rainbowghostcat sososoososo much i love youuahahhah <333

Ill attach drawing of them in the mprning!

[weirdcat1213]

trigun bookclub time :D volume 2 thoughts

chap 00.1

-vash's method of meditation is the only one that's valid in my eyes/j

-3 seconds of meditating vs 3 hours of training...huh...i wonder...why is that...and what...that says about him...

-hes bad at chess hes like me fr fr

-yey we love a day without casualties :D

chap 00.2

-the bit about us taking shelter on technology but still not knowing what the future holds...yeah that feels timeless now huh

-vash don't go there! oh no he has earbuds he cant hear me (that would literally happen to me tho)

-i love that panel where no one says anything after the girl is like "yeah i can give you pocket money." nice representation of the irritation people feel towards that kind of people. they arent mad just really tired of that bs

-oh man thats actually pretty horrible (page 23)

-"and i think of nothing but love and peace" besides that we know your head is empty but we love you so its ok

-yeah vash show her the real world

-interesting that he makes her see the chance of her dad dying (he didnt know what was gonna happen) which makes sense cuz she cant run from the truth anymore but its also interesting cuz if we was able to not see it he would. he hates seeing people dying and yet he watches and makes others watch. i dont think its about "if i have to, you have to as well" but more about her seeing the consequences of violence (what her father did) and the cycle of hate so she doesnt repeat it. idk.

chap 1

-rem coming out of his coat....hm....

-weird man coming

-YEAH SEND HIM TO HELL >:D

-if rem is holding him back you say...hmmm...i will go back to that later

-well thats creepy

chap 2

-my boi is in jail nooooooooooooo

-you can feel the size of the ship with one panel nightow is ridiculously talented when creating big spaces, like the sandsteamer shot in the last volume

-..... :c

-my babygirl :c

-i like he started the flashback angry as hell and then it turned into sadness cuz even if he makes knives pay nothing will bring rem back

-also the literal ship crashing into his memories what if I [redacted]

-SEE LOOK AT THAT SHIT! SPACE FEELS MASSIVE AND ITS LITERALLY JUST THE PLANET AND THE SHIP

-aaaand hes angry as hell again cuz the memory finished with knives. interesting

-dont look at me with those kind eyes, we saw you

-YEY ITS DIABLO TIME :D go get em

chap 3

-aw cmon :c

-and there goes the arm

-hey >:[ dont call my girl milly an idiot

-ugh you can feel how fucking stressed out he is ahhhhhhhhh

-ah yes, we love seeing how right knives is...

-huh, i wonder if knives is smiling cuz before he was like "nah she was stupid like the rest" but since she got to correct the ships's trajectory he got a bit of respect for her in the end

-is monev vs vash supposed to be like david and goliath? hm

-my god thats fucking beautiful

-also i dont think thats a ghost but maybe like her presence? like vash is remembering her and her kindness

-AH I HATE THAT I HATE THAT. THE CHAPTER IS CALLED FRAGILE, ENDS UP WITH VASH CRYING AND THE "rem" IS SO LITTLE THAT IS ONLY MEANT FOR US AND VASH TO BE AWARE OF IT WHAT IF I CRIED A RIVER AHHHHHH

chap 4

-oh meryl...oh honey...sweetie...

-the scars appear :D yey :D

-meryl is kinda asking him "arent you tired of being nice dont you want to go apeshit" but not really and i like that

-yknow what meryl is right pls go away and live a quiet life pls, ik whats coming but just thinking about it....

-yee ik the reason why but still >:v

-oh....oh i actually forgot about that...oh

-"rem didnt sacrifice her life for a world like that" im tearing up actually and idk why...its been a hard week

-lmao hes so mad at vash

-yeah hunt him down babygirl >:D

chap 5

-....metal >:D

-they deserved it btw

-huh thats actually kinda nice of him i forgot

-ofc he would blame vash for that, then again vash makes all of us at least a little bit soft i think

chap 6

-i love you vash that takes his sweet time to process traumatic situations, yes that was scary

-vash saying "im the deathwish" means a lot to me as an mcr fan lmao. i will think more about that later tho

-HES HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-YES YOU ARE A PRIEST OMG WHY AM I THIS EXCITED

-THEY MEET, OMG THEY ARE MEETING! AMAZING!

-STOP BLUSHING BRO LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING HIS CHIN LIKE THAT YO

-"go home or go to hell" oh im getting that on a tattoo one day actually, so metal

-...cmon, me me big boi

-THAT SMILE, THAT DAMN SMILE im gonna jump off my local cliff

-vash in the beginning saying he can read people and then wolfwood comes and READS HIM LIKE ITS NOTHING

chap 7

-"is that a friend of yours" he looks so offended lmao

-ahhhh that must be so scary, he already has knives to worry about but the fact not everyone can see legato makes his job harder ahhhhh

-bye baby ily (hes my son that i only share with a couple of other ww enjoyers)

-CAN YOU STOP BEING GAY FOR 2 MINUTES

-OH THAT PANEL IS SO GOOD (also even more princess coded, like looking at really from a castle idk)

-GUYS GUYS MY WIFE IS HERE

-i keep forgetting hes missing his little arm :c

-lmao wolfwood is right, i wouldnt go to a church all the way there :b

-yeah and shes hot while teleporting all over the place

-ok but shes really fucking cool, despite wanting to kill my comfort character, yknow how these things go

-OHOHOHOO THAT PANEL WITH VASH FOCUSING IS AMAZING

-YESSSSS, SO METALLLLL

chap 8

-aaaand...there goes my wife

-ahhhhhh he looks so little :c

-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HES COMING, HES NEAR

-idk ww :c idk when will it end

-OH WOW OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

-yeah right i dont like this part :b (its not bad just personal stuff)

-ok he do be looking pretty tho, i wonder if its a family thing

-YEAH MERYL SMACK THAT MF

-im a ball of rugged paper and my feelings are nothing...thanks nightow ily

-oh wait...he actually thought that was the end...thats so fucking smart nightow...wow i never considered that....

-aw babygirl :c but i cant even imagine how that must feel, how much hate he feels towards knives rn

-i think besides the "he called me by my name" meryl and milly let him go cuz they just felt he was going to matter what, like you can feel vash and his unstoppable energy on those pages

-oh hes so fucking pretty

-WAIT I NEVER NOTICED THAT BUT YEAH THAT WAS ON STAMPEDE EP 3 HOLY FUCK, THEY SAID THE SAME THING

-knives just fucking reads vash like an open book its incredible and it makes me so sad cuz vash cant escape, he cant hide nothing, not in front of knives

-he cant be knives without the good old gaslighting >:D

-the yelling throughout the page is amazing

-vash is crying noooooooooooooooo :c

-NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME, EVIL PANEL THAT HAUNTS MY DREAMS

-also :c

-im not too sure of what happened with his legs but ok sure

-im afraid my babygirl cant give you an answer ww, i dont think he knows

-.....why is the world so mean to him :c

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

Jiaras obx kie fans thinking we hate or dislike kiara so much because she turned pope down or she didn’t like him back which isn’t even true bc okay a lesbian didn’t like a boy that’s not something to be mad about nor be angry or hate kie for but there is so many reason to not like or even hate her for, she did so much sh*t JB too to pope and jj who are my personal favs in the boat show!

1. Kie spent all of s1 only caring about JohnB and his issues not once did she consider pope or jj feelings or care when pope lost literally everything bc of them and jb like his scholarship his future his parents being mad at him etc that’s one, 2. Being the fact that when pope said he loved her she was so unnecessary cruel to him like sure she didn’t like pope ok that’s fine she could’ve turned him down easily but she didn’t she was brutal mean and horrible when JB kissed without her consent all she did was smile and say what are you doing jb but pope pouring his heart out to her and she’s yelling at him saying it’ll never happen! Y’all see the problem she was so nice and calm with jb just kissing her out of the blue but blew up in pope face that’s why me personally don’t like her for 1 but also other reasons like how she talks to them jj and pope how she always act like she’s better then jj how she acts like he’s disgusting or dumb

also y’all think we were mad she broke up with him no it was the way she played him lead him on all the time she was the one to incite everything the kiss them to you know she acted like it was all in his head which was so wrong but she apologised sincerely something she didnt for anything she did in s1 but at least she did now and pope was so mature and understanding for 16 year old who got his heart ribbed out of chest by his bff first love, so yeah can’t personally fault her or hate for that bc she didn’t feel the same way which is fine she tried thought she would but didn’t that’s not her fault and we would never hate her for it! It was just her leading him on playing with him his feelings felt like she just was messing with him and his feelings just to be cruel at first that was sooo fucked up but she really tried tho and gotta give her respect for it and she ended before it went on way to long even tho she should’ve before they slept together but again she’s child too and she made some mistakes! Just wanted to make it clear why she wasn’t liked by pope jj fans I personally wont can’t forgive her for the way she treated pope and jj in s1 but everything else nothing to forgive she apologised the person who’s forgiveness meant anything already gave it to her so how dare we hate her, hold grudge for that

Since I see new fans coming into the show now that s3 was announced an old fans hate for pope is back bc of kie and jiara shippers using it as excuse to hate him for no rzn saying shit like pope just mad kie likes jj and not him so he’s mean to her when all he was upset very sad validly so + as if jiara had even been confirmed in show

Found some people who got it Kie sh*t for the way she treated pope all s1 and s2 that’s why we hate her got it

the way she was just constantly awful cruel to pope for no reason was so unnecessary like fcvk her that bitch+ when he said he wanted to do that surf thing she said same but when pope said he wanted what she wanted she got so mad at him and started yelling at pope like she’s such a bitch mean awful annoying brat character

[emperorcartagia]

thoughts about my oc/canon stuff under the cut.

so. aurellio and refa. aurellio was essentially born as a joke, saying "what if i made a centauri oc lmfao" and also, "what if, as a parallel to londo and adira, refa had his own dancer in a pre-canon timeline back home on centauri prime and they were both boys!" since yknow. refa is such an effective foil to londo i figured it would be a fun, kinda cute idea.

i also think it does narratively fit in well with b5. take londo, who isnt the best example but we see him commit all these horrible acts but we know about his love for adira, before we even see him start to reform or even start to really commit atrocities we know he has a heart. we find this out in the third episode. spectacularly done.

a better example of this would actually be bester, one of my other absolute favorite side villains. bester was never redeemed. bester, however, is given opportunities for the audience to see his heart. irt his family, his expectant lover, and his somewhat emotional reactions to the telepaths dying in season 5, though caused by him. we still hate him, he never gets redeemed, his love for the people in his life does still exist and doesnt excuse or justify his actions. it gives him a lot of depth that i also really enjoyed!

that is kind of what i'm trying to do with refa. aurellio is a late 20 something year old centauri who is majorly unaware of what refa is doing or does or will do in relation to his schemes to rise to power. i also think that in this pre-canon timeline (around 2253-2257) is when refa is doing little things to slowly climb to where we see him in the show. he always had a lot of power being the lord of his house so he didnt need to do much, but i think the ten or so years leading up to his appearance in the show was a slow, hands-off rise to power. so aurellio, who has no real relation to House Refa aside from being a patron, isnt involved or knowledgeable about house refa's politics.

i would get into the "refa is a good family man" headcanon i have but tldr: celes was his last wife because he chose her. he chose her because he genuinely loved her and he chose to have senna. his other wives and his other children operate moreso like londos wives and him did where there was no love and only obligation. so senna and celes get favored. senna cared enough about her father to throw rocks at londos head years later about it, so i think that they did have a good relationship. refa spoiled her, would do anything for her, which was strange for a noble centauri man to be so obsessed with his youngest daughter. maybe he knew she was always destined for greatness. weh. and well, when this baby is like "dad, i wanna be a ballerina" like most 3 year old girls want to be, he says "of course my love, let me find you the best teacher possible": enter aurellio. who he chooses. who senna also chooses.

so yknow. refa gets a boy toy as a treat. aurellio is almost a part of his family as a treat. they kinda sorta love each other, as a treat, and it also works with aurellio's unconventional relationships he has with his lesbian wife bestie and her twin, the actual love of his life. so like yay centauri polyamory.

i just feel like sometimes i have to justify doing what i'm doing with my oc/canon stuff bc 1. it's refa🤢 and 2. ive been in fandoms before that were hostile to me about liking villains And trying to expand on them and make them more than what the show gives us. im VERY satisfied with refa's character in the show. these headcanons arent filling a void that was missing because i dont think they needed to be expanded on in canon, i just like refa/the centauri/my centauri oc and expanding on centauri lore is fun. so 🤷‍♂️

if you wanna read my fic about aurellio and refa, here it is

i will also say i really do appreciate the kind words ive gotten about this because lol i was nervous about it due to previous experiences where stuff about not only my taste for the villains but also my ocs has gotten me harassed, vagued, made fun of to my face, etc. so thank you for being so kind 💫 i'm so happy aurellio is loved because i love him a lot as well.

[machinavillage]

i think i complained about my internet friend i visited irl last month.

about a week after i got home, after not talking to him for a week i tried to explain why i was upset. and he gave a pretty bland apology idk what else i expected. and sometimes i miss talking to him, but i sort of dont anymore. now im worried about when he's going to reach out to me again, or if we never talk again, or if im supposed to. or what. but i also dont feel like i can talk to him. its kinda funny.

like main thing was really that i was viscerally uncomfortable the whole time i was there. horrible dirty bathroom and he gave me nasty food and i would feel weird if i ordered takeout without him. and i travelled 8 hours on plane and he didnt want to go anywhere or do anything. just sit and play on his ps5. and he had the gall to look over at me and say "oh i wanted to text you right now but i realized youre right there". and when i got him to go out and go places with me, he clearly didnt want to be there. and he'd complain like "oh i dont want to go somewhere on the bus if we're on the bus for 30 minutes or more" bitch i was on a plane overnight for you? fuck you!

and now its like. i regret all the times i tried to talk to him about how i was failing to cope with child abuse and csa stuff like. i poured my heart out to this person and he never really gave a shit and had some of the cruelest responses to me honestly. and i kept fucking trying because i thought if im patient enough ill get something good in return.

i dont get shit i keep getting someone who tells me "oh, i really learned my lesson that time! im so sorry! i need to think more about how i treat you" and like. am i supposed to be learning something? did i do something wrong i need to learn from. is this mutual? at all?

i kept offering to buy him food and pay for all the ubers too because he didnt have a job right now. all i asked for in return was that he be somewhat interested in spending time with me. but since i couldnt even get that, i feel like i wasted hundreds of dollars now. i still didnt know ahead of time that it was possible for my feelings to turn in that way. like every mistake and every time he's pissed me off before is coming back now. it all got recontexualized and i realize he must not care about me at all.

i was going to tell him that im fine just being friends with him online but now im not even sure thats true. the stuff i complained about in my visit with him isnt even all of it. its way longer than that i just picked a few of the things that really hurt. he wouldnt go on an 1-2 hour walk through a nearby park with me. it was like 30 minutes to there, but i wouldve paid for the uber to or something and we couldve walked outside. he just "didnt feel like it". but then when he introduced me to his friend she said they went there together all the time??? whats up with that. why am i nothing.

like idk what to say to him now but saying nothing is starting to eat at me. int he back of my mind i dread him messaging me. i want him to disappear now. none of this is stuff id type about someone i still felt close to. but it feels weird to instantly hate someone because of that. but im not sure its instant either. i just cant really sort it out.

i feel like i kept waiting for years and saying "this is the person im closest too this is the only person i can tell this stuff to" especially in regards to trauma stuff and i just picked the wrong person entirely. and i kept thinking if continue trying it would pay off and id really really get something good. im so stupid. all that time i kept saying "this is the person im closest to" was probably time i couldve spent actually talking to other people or finding actual support.

now its been years since i socialized with people and i dont know how to. all for someone who seems to not care about me, not get anything out of me aside from playing video games together. and i guess i imagined everything i gained from being close to him.

[iguinn]

hi hello I want the divorce arc deets pls 🤲 (+ whatever you wanna share! Free card to gush abt your wol!)

ok so first two very important facts:

1 - Arenvald is Berry's adoptive son and by proxy also Ilberd's adoptive son and he cares about both his adoptive dads a lot like obviously and thats important to how fucked up this was for everyone involved

2 - Berry and Ilberd werent dating before griffin griffin on the wall, everyone thought they were and they were obviously in love with each other but they werent dating so calling it divorce arc might not be accurate but its so break up/divorce vibes were calling it that anyway

ok so when all that first started they had a fight, mostly on Berry's part because Ilberd knew this would happen. he knew she would be upset enough to make a scene right there and then because it would hurt her a lot because of course it would she loves him. she said she hated him multiple times and he just took it cause he really had no right to argue back or ask her to not be mad because well he did all that well aware of how badly it would affect her emotionally and unlike in the game she was actually just removed from the premises fairly easily cause after all the yelling she was just too emotionally devastated to react to anything until she was sitting outside the city and had a crying breakdown because by the gods what was she to do now? what was she to tell her son about any of that? what could anyone tell their child in this situation? it was a shitty fucking situation for her and Ilberd too but at that point Ilberd knew all of that would hurt like a bitch he would just have to push down his feelings cause eventually it wouldnt matter anyway which was a choice on his part considering every fucking time they met after that ended in some of the most tense fucking moments of their life specially after Berry began to have her future sight dreams more and more often and it dawned on her what Ilberd was going to do and it she didnt want to tell anyone because it would get him in even more trouble but its not as if she could act as if she knew nothing about it. she would have crying fits and would ask to sleep in her father's bed because it was horrible and stressful for her. Ilberd just couldnt sleep at all for the most part during that it weighed on him at every waking moment making him unable to even rest. it was horrible emotionally for the both of them and each time they met each other after that it was horribly tense and yeah a lot of yelling happened and Berry did bring up Arenvald in an almost weaponized way to make Ilberd feel more guilty about all this shit because what he put her through? bad it sucked! but what her no THEIR son was feeling? it was worse and he should feel awful for it! (was she perhaps being too harsh? yes but u really cant blame her for being upset) and like Ilberd already felt pretty shit about hurting her and their son and that really just made it worse and he got upset and yelled back at her which is understandable, but in a way Berry knew there was nothing anyone else could do to fix the problem Ilberd wanted to fix cause no one gave enough of a fuck about it. and that hurt even more cause she knew there wasnt really nothing she could tell him to make him stop cause he also knew there was no other way. but she just wanted him to stop and come back home to her which btw she did ask him directly when she saw him in griffin outfit for the first time cause in the gayest most faggy moment they had so far she recognize him simply by the way he walked and carried himself. because thats just how gays act. but yeah a lot of nasty very parents going through a messy divorce fights going on there sometimes and well if u want al elaboration on how it traumatized Alphi and Alisaie... well theyre both very close to Berry. and we actually write them very often so they bond with Ilberd due to all three of them having lost family they deeply cared about during the calamity (partly cause we like to shove the people Berry cares about the most towards Ilberd cause Berry wants everyone she likes to get along obviously) so u can imagine what it was like for those two literal kids to see two people they cared about we were obviously having the worst fucking time of their lives get into awful fights that they both knew would lead no where just so they could pretend they had some semblance of control over their own messy feeling over this messy situation that shit stays with kids all the way to adulthood we know this as a child of divorce. they gave the twins child of divorce trauma when they arent even their parents. Arenvald got fucked up over it too! three traumatized teens in one fell swoop!

[nimsabeef]

davekat isn't a bad couple, actually

okay, i am bored and sleep deprived and i just went through @davekat-sucks's blog. this is a recipe for disaster. sigh. hope you don't mind me doing this ms. davekat sucks, its just that some of your takes were so frigid i just couldn't bring myself to ignore them. various thoughts under the cut

first off, id like to say that this not an attempt to blame you for making this blog, or for disliking davekat. you can ship whatever the fuck you want and express your opinion however you like. i actually really appreciate the courage. fuck yeah, go against the status quo. post about a controversial topic. fandom would be boring without people like you. but the thing is, your takes are so cold bestie. they are straight up frigid. i am so sorry but the sight of them got me freezing and shaking uncontrollably

why do you base so much of your criticism around hs2 and the epilogues whilst simultaneously claiming they're badly written and shouldn’t be canon? YES their characterisations were fucked in post-canon. that's the case for most characters!! it's kind of hypocritical to use post-canon as a basis to bash davekat and then turn around and completely disregard that when it comes to pairings like roxygen or rosemary. guess what! they were fucked over by post-canon too! and yet you're not going around claiming that johnroxy sucks, even though john basically abandoned roxy and cheated on her. you're not going around claiming rosemary is a horrible pairing because of the yiffy fiasco in homestuck 2. and you still like those ships. so do i!!

hs2 turned davekat into some kind of fanservice generator and robbed dave and karkat of most of their personalities, i agree. but that's because hs2 fucking sucks. they did that for most of the character anyway. why does it only matter to you when it's davekat? much to think about.

so yeah. im not going to address the criticism pertaining to the epilogues and beyond. im not defending them

another thing you keep bringing up is dave hating quadrants which, jesus fucking christ. it makes me doubt you have any reading comprehension skills. the label felt alien to him, yes. he initially rejected the concept because it seemed weird and off-putting, probably, and that's normal. most of the kids thought troll culture was weird at first. and! he didn't break up with terezi because he hated quadrants! he just doesn't like the polygamous aspect of it.

but let's suppose for the sake of argument that he actually, canonically, hates quadrants. what would that even mean? would that imply he would never get into a relationship with a troll, seeing as those would technically be quadrants? or that he doesn't feel any kind of quadrant-related romantic attraction? both of these were proven wrong by canon because: 1) he willingly got into a matespritship with terezi 2) humans can feel pale, pitch, and red attraction; they just label it differently. karkat elaborates on that in a conversation with john, probably around act6 act5. and davekat doesnt even fall squarely under any quadrant, so this is all pointless lol

one other point you brought up was that as soon as they got close to one another on the meteor, they stopped being active in the plot and disregarded all of the issues their friends were dealing with, proving that their relationship was lazy writing which caused their development to stagnate. this is a good point! but when you look into it, that's not really what happened.

the beta kids and the surviving trolls all began blending into the background during act 6 as the story began focusing on the alpha kids. most of them were sitting around, not particularly doing anything relevant, because there was nothing relevant to be done except for waiting. like kanaya, or davesprite, for example.

you mention that it was ooc for dave and karkat not to help terezi while she was getting abused. the thing is, terezi tried to keep her relationship with gamzee under wraps. she didn't really succeed at that, but people still didn't know exactly what was going on with them at first. karkat wasn't even told about it. he didn't even know she was dating gamzee up until very late into the trip. dave had just broken up with her and didn't know much about troll quadrants by that point, so he probably just thought it was all kismesis shit and didn't want to intrude. again, if he had known what was really going on, he probably would have intervened, but he only had a vague idea about it since terezi wasn't open about her relationship with gamzee. that is, up until the very end of the trip, and by that point dave and karkat WERE trying to encourage her.

you mention that they also didn't help rose with her addiction, but dave was trying! he spent a whole scene trying to get her to drink less! (the one right before the rosemary kiss)

but the thing is. most of the meteor shenanigans happened off screen, so we're not certain of anything. but again, for the sake of argument, let's assume they actually weren't even trying to help their friends. why would that matter? why would the fact that they weren't rushing to fix all of their friends emotional issues have any impact on their feelings for each other? they're traumatised teenagers, they make mistakes! theyre flawed characters!

kanaya didnt try to help terezi with the gamzee situation either. she didnt try to contact the ship either. instead, she spent most of her time with rose. does that make rosemary a horrible pairing? is it ooc for rose and kanaya? from what i've seen, this doesnt seem to be your opinion on the subject.

yeah that’s basically it. you don’t need to respond, but a response would be welcome. thank you for reading!

[kamuikunt]

woah gay little obito playlist (constantly changing)

commentary and standout lyrics under the cut cause god ive thought so much putting this playlist together and some of these songs may need some fucking explaining

…because i'm young arrogant and hate everything you stand for-machine girl

-mmm general rebellion vibes killing the world anger etc etc. very obito you know how it is. also the so little time/so much pain makes me think of how much shit happened in a short time n when he was so young

Out of the mall

And into the fray

So little time

So much pain

A flash in the pan

A smack in the face

Kill the world with whatever it takes!

coul as a ghoul-the voidz

-fuck if i remember why i put this one in. feels right though

I'm a lush, I'm a saint

I'm a phoney, I'm a fake

I'm going insane

I'm going insane

You made me this way

I'm going insane

mr.manson-max diaz

-song about being fated to be horrible/ do horrible shit. yeag

And I never even had a chance to be myself

But today's the day I'm gonna give hell

うずまき (UZUMAKI)-machine girl

-1. lol. like naruto. 2. spiraling hatred etc

Someday, I will feel no pain

Someday, I'm gonna be okay

Cycle of blood, it's all the same

And then I forget everything I wanna be

Getting a strange reality

hell-clown core

-instrumental. get it cause he says hes in hell. also just a good instrumental

2007-YOU LOVE HER

-initially added as a reflection of his like. use of rin + her death as the symbol of everything being fucked up in the world and him getting to that view of the world; its a twisted version of whatever he felt when they were on the same team that he has bulit up in his head n created a Meaning for. later realized that Oh kakashi did Similar Shit at obitos "death", building him up in his head. perhaps this is even more fitting as kakashi didnt have this love or respect for obito before he died (not romantically in this case, a platonic love of the idea of him). idk

I've been searching for

We've been searching for

I've been searching for a life

You love her 'cause she's dead, because she's dead

Because she's dead, because she's dead

And everything she meant was in your head

Was in your head, was in your head

therefore i am-billie eilish

-entirely the fault of that one amv i do not listen to billie eilish on my own lol. you get it though. like a lot of the song has a lot more. superiority than i think obito to have but it works well enough

Top of the world, but your world isn't real

Your world's an ideal

truth and life-clown core

-another clown core instrumental lol. idk the name felt good and ill take any excuse to sprinkle a little clown core

mamma mia-ABBA

-yes i added this one cause of the edit. it is also just fitting

So I made up my mind: it must come to an end

Look at me now, will I ever learn?

I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control

There's a fire within my soul

ghost (of 7th street)-roar

-hopelessness, unchanging fate, etc you get it

There's so much here to ignore

The world's much uglier than we gave it credit for

It's a shame to make the same mistakes

But I'm afraid people don't change

You'll never save the moth from the flame

niji-shinkuhorou

-this is his one outro song i had to + i really like it

inked in red-vision video

-yknow tragedies, wanting to raise the dead, blood imagery, dreams

A tragedy is written—inked in red

Words bleed onto pages—I try to raise the dead

Whoa, as it seems that this life is a waking dream

Ohh, as it seems that this life is a waking dream

dead man-teddy hyde

-basically an instrumental But its two whole lyrics feel very obito to. anyone. he thinks himself nothing, he thinks of everyone and everything as nothing

I am nothing and so are you

Let’s be nothing together

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[introvertedexhuastedpigeon]

why women kill episode five

my favourite things this episode:

1) vern smiling at dee

2) alma's evil/scheming face before she goes to confront rita, how she fucking quoted the bible replacing 'he' with 'she' to suit her and her plan??? FUCKING ICONIC QUEEN.

3) rita's scene with alma (the blue dress, the evil stare, her smoking, her swearing so casually, and that little hum she did while threatening her, GOD i would willing let her kill me fucking hell)

bertrum realised what he was doing was wrong? he was doing it for decades and only now realised it was wrong? what??? i cant believe his mother was twisted enough to ask her six-year-old to kill her. that's messed up on a whole nother level bruh

dee and vern. Dee and Vern. DEE AND VERN. DEE AND VERN. DEE AND VERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg they were so fucking cute and domestic and sweet. i feel like they shouldnt have had sex though. i mean he was clearly insecure and it kinda feels like they only did because she wanted to. like it was too soon. then again i dont know anything about relationships and what they entail. just my opinion.

what rita did to alma was just plain cruel. embarrassing her like that in front of everyone... *sigh* but then to have dee fired from her job as well. that was over the line. she's a horrible person with fabulous outfits and a dramatic flair which is what makes her such a great antagonist but i seriously hated her in that moment. didnt even feel pity for her when scooter came by. i mean she clearly doesnt care about him or his feelings. she wouldnt make him sleep with someone in exchange for a home if she did. i mean that's fucking prostitution.

i never thought i'd want to see catherine with her hair down, brushing it and smiling to herself but god it was just so soft. im kinda hoping that she and scooter end up liking each other and they team up to take rita down. and i will even admit that i was secretly hoping carlos would get his ability to speak back. i mean it didnt make sense to have him give such a great monologue in the first episode if he wasnt going to have a speaking role for the rest of the season. i am so looking forward to him speaking and witnessing him and rita clash again. what a showdown it'll be.

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK Grace is cheating??? what how who when why/ so many questions. she seems so sweet. (i may have just realised she's dottie from wandavision tonight btw)

dude the ending... that ending. kill the bitch. that's honestly where i'm at alma. kill the bitch. scheming and embarrasing you is one thing, getting your daughter fired was over the line but this... THIS is an act of war. kill her!

i guess my bonnie and clyde theory wasnt far off huh

WTF HOW COULD I FORGET??/?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!? DEE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THA FUCK