#also did i mention i got a girlfriend IRL

[writers-ex]

sooo….life has been crazy this past …week? two weeks? anyways be i’ll be more active after *cue scary horror movie noises* implant day *thunder noises with screams* i’ll be cleaning, scrubbing, packing, and putting away instruments for 8 hours with no break so……i’m wishing everyone a decent day/nighy today and a spider itzy ff should be on its ways soon :) i haven’t forgotten

[kwanisms]

Kinktober 「10:28」 — k.soonyoung

» seventeen menu | hoshi menu | kinktober masterlist «

➮ weretiger!Soonyoung × fem!Reader wc: 3.3k summary: Normally during his heat, Soonyoung stays as far away from his girlfriend as he can for fear of scaring her away but he can’t help himself when she comes by to drop some soup off seeing as he told her he’s sick. genres/themes/au: smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, mentions of: food consumption, cat anatomy; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! kinktober taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: sorry for skipping two days in a row. I will be tacking those on at the end of Kinktober just like the others I missed so don’t worry. Jisung’s I just lost track of time and Christian’s fell on game day and I didn’t even realize it. I’ll get them done and added to the end of Kinktober, I promise lol anyway, here is our resident cult leader, Soonie and his tiger agenda. Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), heat cycles, rough sex, unprotected sex (just don’t do this. Use protection lol), non-human genitalia (like yunho, Soon’s got a barbed d!ck because cat. Don’t like it, don’t read it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idc), scent marking (f receiving), biting (f receiving), use of pet names (hers: baby, kitten, beautiful, etc.; his: babe, Soonie, baby, etc.), I think i got all of them but let me know if I missed any! kinks: heat cycles + rough sex dialogue prompt: ❛❛ You heard me. Take. It. Off. Now. ❜❜

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“Kwon Soonyoung, I know you're home! Let me in, damn it!”

Soonyoung raised his head as he sat with his back against the door. He'd lost track of how long he'd been sitting there while you stood outside his apartment door, knocking, ringing the bell, demanding to be let in. He'd lost track of how many times he'd almost given.

Almost.

It's not that he didn't want to see you, he did. He wanted to see you more than anything, but he knew if he let you into his apartment, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from jumping you. Especially now that he could smell you.

It was always a rough time for him when he went into heat. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't just female animals that went into heat, males also went into heat too and as a weretiger, Soonyoung was no exception. He'd spent most of his formative years dealing with it on his own and for a long time, he avoided being intimate with anyone because of the weird physiological changes to his body.

Unlike many werecreatures, Soonyoung's curse was a generational one and he was not bitten or scratched. His was passed from father to son and inherited by blood. The changes lay dormant until a boy started to go through puberty. By the time he was 18, Soonyoung had gone through just under two hundred and thirty full moon transformations.

And now, at twenty eight years of age, he'd been through over three hundred and fifty transformations. His heat always came the week leading up to the full moon. He was always consumed with an insatiable need to fuck something and he was very good at holding himself back.

Until you came along.

The sweet, caring, and unsuspecting girl who lived across the courtyard from him in the same apartment as him but on the other side of the complex. From his balcony, Soonyoung could see your balcony and the windows that looked into your apartment. 

You kept an assortment of potted plants on your balcony and had installed some sort of netting or mesh to sort of close in the area which made sense because as soon as it went up, he saw an orange tabby cat lounging at the top of a cat tree.

Know you liked cats gave Soonyoung the drive to talk to you the next time he saw you in the courtyard with what he thought was little success but his poorly executed joke still managed to make you laugh and get him your number.

From then on, he was hooked and the moment you invited him over for dinner, he was a goner. One date turned into two and then three and soon, he had the privilege of calling you his girlfriend.

You both maintained separate spaces in the building and he found it kind of cute, his girlfriend living across the courtyard from him. Your cats, which he learned there were actually two, were the sweetest creatures on earth and absolutely adored him. The girl, a white one with orange markings and long fur, was named Pad Thai and the boy, the short hair orange tabby, was named Cheezit. 

Soonyoung had taken to calling them his children and joked with his friends that you had full custody and he got visitations. It was a joke you took in stride and accepted fully, sending silly videos of the cats pretending to use your phone and making silly voices for them, speaking to their dad. It often made his day all that much brighter when he couldn’t come visit you.

Soonyoung had yet to tell you about his condition, only mentioning that he wasn’t like most guys, urging that he wasn’t just saying that and that it was a thousand percent true. He just hadn’t found the right time to tell you exactly how different he was. How does one even go about telling their partner that they’re a weretiger?

It was a conversation Soonyoung knew needed to happen but it just hadn’t yet. Which is why he was stuck in this situation now with you pounding on the door to be let in.

Soonyoung had started telling you that his once a month disappearance was just him coming down with something. He started with the usual excuses, the flu, the cold, stomach flu, even covid but he was starting to run out of excuses. He also hated using illness as an excuse because your immediate response was to offer to bring him medicine and food, usually in the form of soup, stew, or broth. He always gave the same excuse for not opening the door.

He didn’t want to get you sick.

At first, you took it as your boyfriend being cautious and caring but soon, you started to get suspicious and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade much longer. He was going to have to come clean and tell you the truth much sooner rather than later.

A conversation he had been dreading ever since asking you to be his girlfriend.

The wood behind him shook as another series of loud knocks rang out, no doubt you beating your fist against the door. “Kwon Soonyoung!” you shouted. He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, as if it might make you leave faster. He felt awful. He hated ignoring you but in his mind, it was for the best when he was in heat. He couldn’t risk scaring you off and losing you.

Another series of knocks shook the door, which was surprising given your somewhat smaller stature. For one so little, you sure were strong. And loud. “Kwon Soonyoung! If you do not open this door right now, we are done!” 

Soonyoung’s eyes opened quickly and he turned his head to look back at the door. ‘She wouldn’t…’ he thought to himself. “I mean it, Soonyoung! If you don’t open this door, consider us through!” Something in your tone made him scramble up to his feet, hastily pulling at the locks separating you from him. He could tell you weren’t kidding.

He kept the chain on, opening the door only a few inches as he looked out into the hall at you. He held his breath as he took in your frame. You’d showered recently, he could smell the scent of your shampoo and body wash, mixing with your natural scent and making his cock twitch in his pants.

On your face was a furious expression and his heart sank immediately. If he had cat ears, this is where they would flatten back against his head in fear. You were terrifying when you were mad. He’d never been on the receiving end of your anger before nor had he really seen it in action.

“H-hey,” he stammered. His eyes dipped down to see the thermos in your hand that no doubt held a homemade soup, stew, or broth of some kind but he couldn’t be sure with how tightly the lid was screwed on nor with how overpowering your scent was.

“Don’t you hey me,” you said, your eyes narrowing at him. “Open the door and let me in.” Soonyoung grimaced. He wanted more than anything to let you in but he knew if he did, there was no telling how he’d react to having you so close when he was aching, burning, to be touched. It wasn’t a good idea on many levels.

“I don’t wanna get you sick,” he murmured, keeping his voice low. You scoffed, placing a hand on your hip and looking every bit the sassy girlfriend he knew and loved. “Don’t try that bullshit with me,” you snapped. “I know you aren’t sick,” you added. Soonyoung’s eyes widened as he looked up from the thermos in your hand to meet your hardened gaze. “Wh-what?” he breathed. 

“I spoke to Jihoon,” you started to explain. “He told me the truth.” Soonyoung’s stomach sank as the realization that his best friend had outed him to you. ‘Well fuck,’ he thought. It looked like he was going to have to have a talk with Jihoon.

“So let me in. We need to talk.” Soonyoung sighed and closed the door, undoing the chain before pulling the door open for you to enter his apartment. He shut the door behind you and prepared for the storm.

You didn’t unload on him immediately, instead sliding your shoes off and walking towards the kitchen where you set the thermos down. He followed, hands tucked in his pockets as he watched you move around his kitchen, pulling out a bowl and a spoon from their resting places.

You placed the bowl down next to the thermos and unscrewed the lid silently, pouring out a very hearty looking stew. It smelled amazing, the scent of meat, herbs, and potatoes invading his senses. “Jihoon said you aren’t exactly sick. Just that during this time, you don’t feel well,” you said as you finished pouring the hot stew into the bowl, setting the thermos down and pushing the bowl towards your boyfriend, holding out the spoon.

Soonyoung glanced at the spoon and the bowl before looking at you. “Here’s what’s going to happen.” you said leaning over the counter. Soonyoung’s eyes dipped down to your chest, the curve of your breast visible down your shirt from where he stood. “You’re going to take the damn spoon and eat while I talk. Sound good?” 

Soonyoung nodded, moving to sit at the kitchen island and grabbing the spoon from your hand. The moment your skin met, electricity and heat spread throughout his body, the urge to pounce on you from across the counter trying to take the reins but he managed to push it down and simply started eating.

You watched him take a few bites before speaking.

“I know you’re a weretiger,” you said softly, drawing his attention as he looked up at you, his mouth full of bits of beef and potatoes. “Jihoon told me everything. I will admit I’m a little shocked you didn’t tell me all of this but I can’t imagine it’s an easy subject to bring up so I’ll give you a pass there,” you explained. “That being said, I wish you would have just told me the truth. Did you think I would judge you? Did you think I would leave or break up with you?” 

Soonyoung swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking. “I didn’t know what to expect, actually,” he answered truthfully. “I was less scared about you finding out about me being a weretiger and more scared that I—” he hesitated, looking down at his bowl of food. You followed his gaze. “Finish eating,” you told him. “I have more to say anyway.

By the time Soonyoung had finished his bowl of stew and ate another at your insistence, you were sitting on the couch, Soonyoung resting over your legs as he hugged around your waist, his face buried in your stomach, a deep rumbling emanating from his chest as he purred happily. You stroked his hair, massaging his scalp with your finger tips.

“This is nice,” you said softly as you combed your fingers through his hair. “Mhm,” Soonyoung hummed. Silence fell over the two of you for a few minutes before you couldn’t stop yourself from asking a question that was at the forefront of your mind.

“Soonie,” you said softly, gently tugging at his hair. “Hmm?” he asked, not lifting his head or opening his eyes. “Can I ask you what you meant earlier about being scared?” You felt him stiffen under your touch before he finally lifted his head, looking up at you. “Wh-what about it?” he asked.

You brushed his hair back from his forehead, cupping his cheek at the same time. “What are you scared of, babe?” Soonyoung took a deep breath before pulling himself up to sit. “I’m scared of frightening you,” he finally answered, glancing at your hand before reaching over to take it in his.

“Of frightening me? How would you frighten me?” you asked, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Soonyoung looked down at your joined hands before speaking. “You know how when we’re intimate?” he asked softly, not looking up as you nodded. “Yes,” you replied, a small smile on your lips. “Well, when the week of the full moon approaches, I start to… change,” he continued.

“My body starts to change.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes as your smile spread. “Is this about your heat?” you asked nonchalantly. Soonyoung’s eyes widened as his gaze snapped up to meet yours. “Y-you know about that?” he asked incredulously. You nodded, your smile only growing. “You think I’m going to learn that my boyfriend is a weretiger and not look up what all of that entails? I know everything, baby. Your heat, your transformation cycle, all of it. I also know your curse is familial and not transferred by bites or scratches. Jihoon told me that part though,” you said, reaching up to brush his hair back again.

“And I already know what happens to your cock, so there’s no need to explain that to me.”

Soonyoung’s eyes widened comically. “I learned that on my own by reading. Jihoon did not inform me of that part,” you added, reaching up to bop the end of his nose with the tip of your finger. “I know all about the sexual changes, the heat cycle, the penile spines, copulation, all of it. I know everything.”

Soonyoung wasn’t sure whether he should be impressed, alarmed, or relieved. He felt a mixture of all three as he sat there on his couch with you. “Do you also know about the insatiable urge I have to be buried inside you whenever you’re around?” he asked, noticing how your eyes widened slightly. “No,” you answered softly before a smirk started to form.

“But now I do.”

Soonyoung could feel heat creeping up his neck towards his face at the same time heat settled in the pit of his stomach. A new smell invaded his nostrils. The smell of arousal but it wasn’t his own. He glanced down quickly before looking back up. “Can you smell me?” you asked, tilting your head to the side, the smirk still present on your face. He nodded slowly, holding your gaze.

You leaned back against the arm of the couch, spreading your legs slightly. Soonyoung’s eyes fluttered shut as the scent hit him stronger. He could feel his cock painfully hard in his pants. “Baby,” Soonyoung said softly as a shiver ran up his spine, that insatiable need to bury his cock inside your warm cunt starting to take over. “If you don’t stop me,” he continued, opening his eyes to meet your gaze.

“I won’t be able to stop myself. I’ll…” he trailed off as your hands moved, sliding down your body. “I don’t know what I’ll do,” he said, swallowing thickly as his eyes followed your hands. “Maybe that’s what I want,” you said softly. “Maybe I want you to pounce on me.”

Soonyoung turned his head, averting his gaze as he tried to steady his erratic breathing. He felt the couch move and then your hand under his chin, turning his head to face you. “Don’t look away from me,” you said in a low voice. “I don’t want to hurt you,” Soonyoung whispered, reaching up to cup your cheek. “I promise you won’t,” you replied, leaning into his touch.

“I want you to let it take control. You need this,” you continued, taking one of his hands and guiding it between your thighs, pressing his fingers against your cloth covered crotch. “Pin me down, Soonie. Fuck me like I know you want to.”

Soonyoung let out a sound between a moan and a growl as he closed the distance,  the hand on your cheek sliding to the back of your neck to pull you into a bruising kiss, his tongue immediately sliding into your mouth. You moaned as he pushed you back onto the couch, pinning you down with his weight alone. 

You could feel his erection in his pants press against you, rutting slightly. “I don’t think I can wait,” he murmured against your lips, hands moving to pull at your shorts. “Then don’t,” you urged as he pulled back, fingers working to undo the tie of your shorts. He made quick work of them, pulling them and your panties off. “Shirt off,” he grumbled as he pulled his own off.

You watched him instead as he undid his pants. He glanced up at you. “What’re you doing?” he asked, his hands stilling. “I’m watching you,” you replied. “He glanced down at your shirt. “Shirt. Off,” he repeated. “What?” you asked, feigning ignorance. “You heard me,” Soonyoung growled as he stared you down. “Take. It. Off. Now.” 

You let out a giggle before complying, pulling your shirt off as he resumed undoing his pants and pushing them down, kicking them off before leaning over you, lips kissing a path up your chest to your neck. “Turn over,” he whispered in your ear.

You did as he asked, rolling over onto your stomach as he leaned over your back. You felt him rub his cheek against your shoulder. “What are you doing?” you asked with a chuckle. “Marking you,” he replied simply. “Don’t worry about it,” he added as he grabbed one of the pillows and guided you to lift your hips, placing the pillow under you.

With your hips raised, he guided the head of his cock to your slit, gathering your arousal on the tip before starting to push into you with a guttural moan. You gasped as he stretched you, the spines on his cock creating a rough but not entirely unpleasant texture as he bottomed out.

“Oh shit,” you gasped as he pulled back, the spikes raking your walls slightly. He thrusted into you harshly and you cried out. Soonyoung leaned over your back, covering your mouth with his hand. “The neighbors will complain, kitten,” he whispered in your ear. “You have to be quiet.”

He gave you another harsh thrust, slamming into you roughly as he set a brutal and unrelenting pace. “Is it too much?” he asked breathlessly. You shook your head, biting into your bottom lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure. You couldn’t hold back when you felt his teeth sink into your shoulder. “Fuck, sorry baby,” he panted as he pounded into you.

“S’okay,” you gasped, walls spasming around him as he send you hurtling towards your orgasm which hit you, the strength making your legs shake as he continued to fuck you through it. “Are you okay?” he groaned as your cunt continued to flutter around his cock. You nodded in response. “Y-yes,” you gasped. “I’m – ah! – M’fine — oh god, Soonyoung!”

A second orgasm washed over you and still he kept thrusting, not showing any signs of slowing down. You knew by the end of it you were going to be a bruised, panting, sticky mess but you couldn’t be bothered to care now that he wasn’t holding back and showing you a new side to him you’d never experienced. As he sent you toppling over the edge of your third orgasm, he finally came without warning as he sank his teeth into your shoulder again as his load exploded inside you, painting your walls in his sticky white essence.

“Fuck!” he growled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “Sorry,” he murmured, pressing wet kissing against your skin. “Didn’t mean to yell in your ear.” You merely chuckled as you shook your head. “It’s fine, babe,” you replied. “Was I too rough?” he asked suddenly and again you answered with a shake of your head. “No,” you answered. “That was great. In fact,” you said as you lifted your head.

“I’m coming over more often to help with your heat if it means you’ll fuck me like that.”

©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.

[sterredem]

GUTS Tour

Oscar piastri x singer!reader

Face claim Olivia Rodrigo

Summary Oscar reacts to his girlfriend tour.

Warning Guts tour(not really but Iykyk)

A/N really like it. I hope it does well. Hope y’all enjoy it! The YouTube video and the insta story took really long to make so pls show some love and say what you think!

Also I just reread it, and there are quite some spelling mistakes. Sorry for anyone that is bothered by it, but I can’t change it anymore because that takes a lot of time and I don’t have that. I ado don’t really know what to thing about the YouTube video cause I made it in 2 hours so for me the different parts where more spread out but now I look back it looks a bit weird. But Lmk what you think!

Don’t forget to repost and comment! It helps a lot! Also feedback is appreciated!

Instagram

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 5.737.826 others

Yourusername thank you so for all the great support! I had a great time on my first few shows, hope to see you al soon!

View all 11.626 comments

SabrinaCarpenter So gorgeous!

Conangray Love the show!

Oscarpiastri 😍❤️

User1 not her friends and bf simping in the comments

User2 so exited to see you in Europe!

User3 so happy I got to see you!

User4 SO PROUD!

User5 I can still remember the little girl on bizarfark and now she is doing a world tour😢 the little artist is really growing up!

User6 💜💜

User7 mother

User8 we need Oscar’s reaction to the obsessed performance and the ✨parts✨ of the show

User9 OMG SO TRUE

User10 in love with you

User11 IM SO EXITED TO GO TO THE GUTS TOUR (I don’t have tickets)

User12 love the difference between SOUR and GUTS tour, she really isn’t a teenager anymore

User13 ur an icon

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Twitter

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YouTube

Comments

User1 HAHAHA OSCAR REACTION TO THE PARTS

User2 I love that y/f/n SHQ and McLaren worked together for this! Great video!

User3 He listed!

User4 not him stuttering😂

User5 the people laughing at him behind the camera😂

User6 I love how he makes sure to mention that he knew things beforehand and that she asked him for advice

User7 HAHA not him suddenly being full GenZ for y/n😂

User8 HAHA him saying that she does that a lot is the highlight of this video!

User9 someone should count how many times he said wow🤣

User10 he is such I supportive Boyfriend! I love it!

User11 he’s such a simp!

User12 I love how he says that about the fans and stuff

User13 Great video!

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Instagram

Liked by OscarPiastri and 7.736.836 others

Yourusername He may be a simp, and he may judge my tour, but he is mine🫶 So American is out now! I hope you all enjoy it! (P.S. he finally came to the show, and he ENJOYED it!)

View all 70.736 comments

OscarPiastri Hey don’t expose me!

OscarPiastri And I’m so proud of you! Finally a song that I heard beforehand!

OscarPiastri And I did not judge you and I’m not a simp!

Yourusername Whatever you believe sweetheart!

SabrinaCarpenter Omg love the song! So proud of you! Liked by author

GracieAbrams So happy! Love that you finally released a love song!

Yourusername 💜

TaylorSwift So proud of you! You finally found your lover!

Yourusername Thank you mother🙇‍♀️💜

Landonorris it was so painful to watch both Oscar filming the video and him watching the show irl😭 he was a simp and speechless with both😭

Yourusername Hey! Look out at what you say! He is my simp!

User1 AAAHHHH NOW SONG!

User2 FIRST LOVE SONG!

User3 they are so cute!

User4 I love them!

User5 AND HE SAYS IM SO AMARICAN!

User6 THEY ARE THE BEST COUPLE ON TEH GRID!

User7 OSCAR IS SO HOT IN TJOSE PICS🥵🥵

User8 I fear I might have fallen in love… with both

User9 do you need a dog? 🐶🐕 I can bark

User10 NEW SONG WOOHOO

User11 I didn’t really like their relationship at first, but now that we get more song I AM SUCH A FAN

User12 UGH THE PUCS ARE SO CUTE

User13 Not her and Lando exposing Oscar

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Instagram

Yourusername posted on their story

-

Oscarpiastri reacted to your story

💜💜

Love you!

-

SabrinaCarpenter reacted to your story

Simp

Sorry that I’m in love

-

GracieAbrams reacted to your story

So cute!

💜

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Taylorswift reacted to your story

so happy for you!

Thank you!

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Landonorris reacted to your story

He is giggling and kicking his feet atm

AWWWWW

[reidtina]

Mile High Club

Pairing: president!jack schlossberg x fem!reader

Content warning: +18 MDI semi-public sex, petnames (princess, darling, honey, baby, i think that's it), orgasm, creampie (don't do it irl), oral sex (jack receiving)

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Being Jack's girlfriend was great, you've been dating him for 3 years now and each day that passed things got better, like tonight for example: tonight Jack's taking you out for dinner but maybe the best part of the night will be the flight to the restaurant...

A/n: I'm so happy people liked my last fic, i decided I'll write more, so if you have ideas you can reply here and I'll do my best to write them! this one is kind of a part 2 of "mr president”, but can be read independently too. also reblogs and likes are highly appreciated. and it's also on ao3

That night Jack decided he'd take you out for dinner. But nothing was simple with Jack, not when it came to his favorite girl, he knew you deserved the best and would give you that. He knew how much you liked italian food, so he would take you out for dinner to get some, but he wanted to surprise you by taking you to La Pergola, a restaurant in Rome you mentioned you always wanted to visit. Technically reservations were required, but when you had as much power as he did, all he had to do was give a call, which is what he did, and before you knew it, you were in his private jet enjoying a glass of champagne next to your boyfriend on your way to Italy, life was good. The jet was empty, except for you, Jack and the pilot on the cabin, leaving you in the perfect, secluded space by yourselves.

Jack smiled at you as he sipped his own glass of champagne. You put your hand on Jack's lap and caress his thigh and notice his grin, knowing he's enjoying the touch of your hand against his body. You feel like you couldn't be any more lucky, there's not a lot of men like Jack.

You sigh as you say: “This is nice, I needed a break from work”, to which Jack agrees with a nod “I know, you've been working nonstop for the past few weeks, you deserve a relaxing little vacation" he mutters, taking your hand in his and kissing it softly, getting a smile out of you. “You're like the best boyfriend ever, you know what right?” He smiles, enjoying the compliment. “What can I say? I try, you deserve it, you're my woman, my girlfriend, my favorite person” he says, lifting your hand up to gently kiss your knuckles. You close my eyes enjoying the feeling as he watches and notices the sense of relaxation wash over your body. “It's just me and you, honey, no work, no stress, just a nice and relaxing night” he says softly, shifting in his sit to put a arm around your shoulders.

You look at him and say with a smile “Just you and me. Yeah, I like the sound of that”. He grins, putting his champagne glass down at the side table and turning to face you, he grabs your waist and lifts you onto his lap, letting you stradule his waist. He loves the feeling of you in his arms, loves having you so close to him, he loved it even more when you touched his face and pulled him in for a kiss, which he respondes immediately, returning the kiss, his hands gripping your waist and pulling you closer to him. He feels your lips move against his, and he lets out a soft hum of pleasure when you pull your dress up slightly and start grinding slowly on his lap. He loves feeling you like this, having you so close to him and feeling your body move against his.

He lets his hands roam over your body, enjoying the feeling of your skin under his fingers, his hands trail up your back, slipping up under your dress and caressing your bare skin, when you feel it you hum, getting a grin out of him, he loves hearing the sounds you make when he touches you. He pulls you closer, his lips now trailing down your neck, kissing his way down to your collarbone. “How long until we land?” your voice comes out needy and full of second intentions.

He smirks, knowing exactly you're getting at, glances down at his watch and teases: “About 45 minutes left. Why? Are you eager to land?” his hands roam the sides of your body. “More like eager to what we can do before we land” you smirk too and he laughs and asks “And what do you have in mind, darling?”, you know he knows what you want and is just teasing you, so you roll your eyes and whisper into his ear “I wanna fuck the president on his private jet”

He feels a rush of lust and desire in your words, his grip on your waist tighter now. He glances over at the cockpit, which is currently shut. “You're so naughty, aren't you?” he mutters, his lips trailing down your neck, nipping at your skin. “As if you don't like it” you tease with a smirk, slightly scratching the back of his head with your red painted nails, getting a groan out of him and he says in a whisper: ”Oh, I love it, I love you being naughty like that, baby”, his hands roaming under your dress again, grabbing your hips.

“Show me how much you like it then” you whisper back into his ear with a husky voice, he groans softly, feeling a shiver run down his spine at your tone of voice and words combined. He glances over at the cockpit to make sure it is still shut, before turning his attention back to you. “I'll show you just how much I like it, baby” he mutters before closing the distance of your mouths and initiating a messy and desperate kiss, enjoying the feeling of you grinding on his lap, giving him a hard on.

He can't wait anymore, “Fuck, you're too irresistible” he says after breaking the kiss, his hands now on the fly of his pants, opening it and slightly lifting his hips to pull them down, giving you the beautiful vision of his hard cock through the white fabric of his boxers, you loved that he was already that hard just from you sitting on his lap, kissing him and grinding a little. Knowing the effect you had over his body made you so horny, made you feel so desirable and it made you want to please him just the way he deserved for being so devoted and in love with you. He could be the president to the country, but to you he was like a horny boy desperate to be touched in a way he knew only you could.

He looks at you, his eyes filled with desire, waiting to see what you'll do next. “I think it's time for me to return the little favor you did for me at your office earlier” you tease with a grin as you get out of his lap and kneel in front of him. “Yeah, it's about time” he agrees with a smirk, knowing exactly where you're getting to and loving it. You begin to slowly kiss his thighs, trailing the way to his cock with your mouth, you knew that it drove him crazy, it always did. When your mouth reached the hem of his boxers and you looked up at him with a fake-innocent look on your face, Jack grabbed your hair into something that was supposed to be a ponytail with one hand and whispered “Don't give me that look, we both know how much you want my cock in your mouth, baby” and you took it as your sign to pull the boxers down and reveal his big cock.

He was right, you did want it in your mouth, that's why you wasted no more time before you started licking the precum from his tip, and when he tilted his head back in pleasure you put the tip on your mouth, giving it a few licks while also sucking on it, enjoying the feeling of his soft dick in your mouth and the low moans and hums from his. When you noticed he was about to break, you put his whole cock in your mouth, all way down to your throat and started to make up and down movements, loving the way his grip on your hair would get tighter every time his tip reached the back of your throat.

Part of you wanted him to cum in your mouth, to feel the taste of his salty orgasm, but another part wanted him to fuck you. Thankfully you didn't have to decide which part of you was stronger, because he pulled your face out of his dick and said in a demanding tone of voice: “Pull your dress up and bend over that sit” he was pointing at the sit in front of yours.

“Is that an order, Mr. President?” you ask, you knew how much calling him that turned him on, and to be honest, it turned you on too. “You damn right it's an order” he replies and you smirk and say “Yes, sir”. The second you're bent over that sit, he's already behind you, pulling your panties to the side, revealing your wet pussy, you feel him caressing it with his dick, teasing you, and you knew he wanted you to ask, he was such a polite man, and you were a polite woman, so you did. “Please, fuck me, President Jack”, the words sent shivers down his spine and more blood to his cock, there was something about being called that which drove him crazy, and that's just how you wanted him: crazy and horny, the perfect combination.

He put it in without a warning, getting a moan out of you, he started thrusting slowly and bent against you and whispered in your ear: “Be quiet, okay, darling?”. It was impossible, so you had to cover your own mouth with a hand and nod. “Such a good girl” he whispered again and those words alone almost made you cum right on the spot. When he knew you'd be quiet, his movement fastened, his grip on your hips even tighter, his nails on your skin in a way you knew would leave marks that'd linger for days, possibly more than a week, but you liked it, you liked having his marks on you in a place only you would see. When you felt his body shiver over yours you knew he was close, and that sent you to the pick of your pleasure and suddenly your breath was heavy, your body shivering and your moans even harder to contain, you even had to bite your palm to avoid screaming. The feeling of your pussy tightening around his cock while you orgasmed, made him reach his own, filling you up with his cum.

You're both trying to catch your breaths, you pull your hair out of your face and he slowly, in a almost torturous way, pulls his cock out of you and pulls your panties back to the right place and gives you a little slap on the ass and says “You did so good to me, princess”, getting a smile out of you. As you pull your dress down again and try to fix your hair the best you can using your fingers, he pulls his boxers and pants up again, sitting down and taking a sip of champagne. He didn't even look like he just fucked the shit out of you seconds ago, that was quite an ability to have, maybe you should put it to good use, who knows where else you could let him have you if he'd act so natural afterwards.

[yournightmary]

Streamer!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU, mentions of getting hurt

AN:: Another headcannons, who would’ve thought? Streamer!Ellie was literally the reason I started writing. Enjoy :)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who started streaming as a joke. Jesse was already a streamer and he constantly said she’d be good at it, so why not?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who at first had such a shitty setup. No webcam, mic barely working and her PC couldn’t handle minecraft with shaders.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who randomly went from 30 viewers average to almost 10k one day. Just blew up overnight.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who gets canceled at least once a week. She just says dumb shit without thinking and has to apologize after. and people are just fucking weird.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who lives off of snacks and won’t eat a proper meal if you don’t cook anything. She’s just always on that grind😎🔥

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who’s entire personality on camera is just a character. Screams and throws herself off of her chair on camera but goes non verbal every time she’s in private.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who mostly streams games, especially minecraft & fortnite. She might make an irl stream once in a blue moon, but don’t expect it to be good.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who loves her community and wants to talk to them more often but always ends up swearing and arguing with random people in chat.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who gets copyright strikes and warnings from twitch admins almost every stream. Most of the times she doesn’t even know what she did wrong.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who keeps your relationship a secret. She’s scared you’d get a ton of hate. (You would) ((Streamer fanbases are awful))

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who buys the most random things she can ‚for the lulz’. Whether it’s for her streaming room or bedsheets, she’s buying the weirdest option. (This made me think of her)



⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who is definitely a hey mamas girl.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who majorly fucked up and showed her personal instagram account (with your pictures) by accident. Her following went up by 10k almost instantly and she ended up deleting it:/

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who after that mistake took a hiatus for almost 3 weeks. I mean- logged out of every account she had and didn’t check any socials for that time.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who came back to streaming thinking she’d get all the hate in the world but people were just joking that ‚she’s too much of a loser to have a pretty girlfriend’.

they were also surprised she was lesbian. She never talked about her private life on stream, not even once.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ In my mind she’s the female version of 2019/2020 Quackity. Is he still relevant? idk

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who jokes about selling feet pics and bath water a little too often for your liking.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who once did a handstand for a 100 bucks. Ended up breaking her arm in two places and she couldn’t play games for almost two months.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who gets hurt on stream so often she got flagged for self harm. Apologized on twitter though:)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who definitely thinks loud=funny.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who finds out she’s in some kind of drama every single time she opens twitter. It’s always for something stupid too, like saying she’d win in a fight against some random streamer and their fanbase gets pissed.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who feels bad about having nice things so she just buys you a ton of gifts. Gotta spend that streamer money somehow🤑

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who showed you on stream once and the chat went crazy. People made edits of the 10 seconds you were on screen. Ellie watched all of them.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who streams cutting her hair every few months. She says ‚she’s cooking’ while chat drags her through mud.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who streams so much she started saying ‚chat’ in real life, even when she’s alone. Always gets embarrassed about it and apologizes.

Can you tell I was a dsmp kid during quarantine?

[paddockbunny]

Repeat Offender

Summary : Charles is recently single and quickly finds himself in a "friends with benefits" situation with none other than his ex-girlfriend's best friend.

Rating : 18+, Mature

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x Reader

Word Count : 7, 345

Trigger Warnings : 18+, Mature & Adult themes, Angsty, FWB situation, PinV sex, Unprotected sex, Oral (female receiving), slight choking, c*m talk & language

Authors Note : Firstly, I had around five or six requests for a newly single charles or rebounding charles so I've amalgamated them all into one. Thank you for the inspo to all of those who requested something to do with this. I'm trying out some first person stuff on this one so although it's labelled as "reader" YOU are in fact the author/reader if that makes sense. I also don't mention Charles' ex by name and that is very much on purpose as I keep my blog as IRL WAG free as possible so none of my stories will feature any of their names, hope you can all understand why. Anyway, this is LOOOOOONG so it has not been proofread yet.

You know when you wake up but your not fully awake yet, you’re like conscious but not alert? Well, that was exactly how I was feeling as the room was ever so slightly spinning and the faint memory of strawberry daiquiri's and vodka shots were beginning to flash across my eyes. So was the deafening sound of the music, the ache in the arches of my feet from stupid heels and the feeling of hands creeping around my waist pulling my ass against a firm crotch while dancing. Then as I slowly crept more and more into consciousness I felt the slight ache from my thighs kick in and the feeling my body had been through it.

Finally, after summoning up the energy to do it, I managed to open my eyes. They felt heavy and dense and I realised there was no way I had made it home because I had slept in my make-up - and regardless of whatever state I was in I would always manage to stumble into the bathroom to at least wipe most of the night out greasepaint off of my face so the fact it was still firmly in place meant the worst. As my vision was struggled to focus I wriggled around in a rather comfortable bed and attempted to pull myself up without a wave of nausea lash upon me. Exactly how much did I fucking drink last night? But then as eventually my eyes concentrated on something and a very loud groan reverberated from my throat. The familiar bright coloured art work that hung from the white wall across from the bottom of the bed was like a vicious, unwelcome enemy. I had studied it far too many times to count and each time it got worse and worse. It was like the eyes of T. J Eckleburg in The Great Gatsby, but instead of the judgment of an inanimate object upon American society, this horrendous painting was judging my piss poor decisions of the night prior which lead me to waking up in this damn bed, once again. And as my stomach lurched I had to force myself to make sure I was in the bed of the man whom the awful painting belonged to.

At an almost glacier pace my head began to turn. Crawling up the sheet clad outline of a pair of calves, knees and up to big, broad thighs and into the covered - yet barely - crotch. The outline of his cock almost visible through the white cotton that was practically failing to protect his modesty. His hips were next, then the outline of abs which yeah ok - I can admit it, I’ve traced with my tongue before so sue me. Then I couldn’t do it any longer. I was just drawing things out. I snapped my head immediately up to his and yup! It was Charles.

“Oh fuck!” I groaned loudly and with an eye roll I drew my hands over my face. Listen, you might be thinking “he’s fucking hot as hell, probably an incredible shag and I’d love to know how big his cock is” but, it’s all the other stuff that goes along with these nights of drunken yet passionate sex with Charles that makes me sick to my stomach each time I wake up here. You see Charles had so much awkward baggage that spilled over into my own life and I really went through several stages of self loathing when I left his apartment and had the embarrassing walk of shame home the next day. “Good morning to you too.” He scoffed loudly but by this point I knew he probably felt as guilt-ridden and dismayed as I felt.

Silence had momentarily befallen us. All I heard was the quick typing of his thumbs hitting his phone screen. It was almost annoying. That incessant tap, tappy tappy tappy, tap, tap as he typed whatever was in his head into a text or whatever he was doing. I couldn’t help it, I rolled my eyes and thought how likely it was that he was probably texting one of his friends telling them how the pair of us had hooked up AGAIN! Most likely he was asking for their advice on how to get me out of his bed. Not that he needed any because there was no way in hell I felt like staying. I wanted to get out of here as badly and he wanted to kick me out. Just as I moved to sit upright a bit more and try search for my stomach lurched and I had to take a few deep breaths not to feel the effects of last nights alcohol. Something which unfortunately Charles noticed and as he asked if I was suffering from a the dreaded hangover, sarcasm laced thick in his voice.

“Why does this always happen? Why do we do this?” I sighed while letting out a long, drawn out exhale. The question hung in the air and I could feel Charles’ eyes suddenly burrowing into the side of my head. I knew there were words teetering on the tip of his tongue and could practically hear his brain working out a response that sounded appropriate for me but thankfully, he remained in silence. There was no doubt he would have been regretting whatever things happened last night as much as I was and yet, he didn’t seem particularly consumed by guilt. He seemed rather carefree right now so scoff I closed my eyes in an attempt to piece the puzzle together remember what the fuck happened last night.

The music was far too loud but the fourth fruity cocktail I currently clasped in my hand made me rather immune and numb to it. I danced just like all the other girls out in the middle of the crowded dance floor. Hips swaying side to side in time with the rhythm. Hair swishing around without a care in the world. Feet aching in stupid stilettos. To have looked at me in that moment anyone would be forgiven for thinking I was a party girl. One of those glamorous girls always out on the town, partying, blowing cash (boys and snow* too probably) but really I hated going out. I hated the stress of finding something to wear, doing the whole routine of make-up and hair and then feeling like I was in the middle of a cattle market. At least the men in Monaco happened to be rich and therefore no girls spent a dime all night from all the free drinks that would get bought. And the fact that someone in my group always seemed to know someone else in another and that meant VIP was inevitable. And I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to be sat in VIP?! Which was funnily enough, where Amelie was pulling me in the direction of and then I sighed when I saw why.

Sat in a booth was none other than Charles and his gang of buddies that I really wish would have been anywhere else in the world tonight and not in this nightclub. As soon as he looked around and saw me heading toward him I swear he rolled his eyes.

“Fucking hello to you too Charles.” I thought, muttering under my breath while I and rolled my own eyes back at him sarcastically. And that was when my mind flashed back to the last time we saw each other. It had been at that shitty dinner where I actually felt sorry for him having to sit the whole night flashing googly eyes at his ex girlfriend hoping she would notice him even though the night before he had had his cock shoved down my throat, me! The one he spent the entire time ignoring. But the thing was, I knew one thing he didn’t and that was she was already moving on with someone who might have been too close too home for him to even comprehend. Yet, with his attitude I said nothing and allowed him to remain in purgatory. Sad thing was, she never even so much as glanced at him the whole meal. Then I remembered what happened after, once everyone had drank heavily and shared cars home. It hadn’t been the first time (nor the second, third or fourth and was actually more like the eleventh or twelfth) that Charles had put the moves on me and I stupidly succumbed to his seductions. But now as I reached the table the thought of his hands being between my thighs, his fingers caressing my desperate clit with the door to his apartment wide open behind us in an utterly voyeuristic display - one that I would never have pegged him as the type to enjoy - danced teasingly through my thoughts. He slid into the booth a little more and nodded in the direction of the now vacant faux leather seat beside him for me to sit in. He looked good tonight and for once that wasn’t the alcohol in my system talking. He seemed to be in good spirits and I figured he must have been celebrating a good race. It was neutral ground so I thought it was something I could talk to him about. When I went to open my mouth to do exactly so, my words were swallowed by his; “Have you seen her recently?” Your mouth parted slightly before closing. You had to bite your tongue before you said something to the effect of “fuck off” or “fuck you” and quickly shook your head to respond to him. Then loudly from across the table one of his friends shouted loudly “shots” and thankfully it distracted Charles from pushing the conversation toward her like he wanted.

Several shots were taken and yet another strong strawberry daiquiri was being drunk while having as everyone sat at the table has as much of a conversation as possible over the loud thumping music. I raised my voice as I leaned forward to answer one of the questions Charles’ friends had asked me. We had met before and yet he did that typical male thing of forgetting who I was and therefore I had to tell him all over again much to my slight annoyance and dismay. But as I was explaining what I did for a living, I stuttered when suddenly I felt the flesh of soft fingertips ghost up and down my bare naked thigh. The action almost made me brake my calm, collected exterior. He couldn’t be serious? We had barely spoken since I sat down nearly an hour ago and as his thumb stroked up and down the skin of my inner thigh I glanced at him. He wasn’t even paying attention, he was doing it just for the sake of it, because he could. And so without a single thought I decided it was time to go and dance again. I wanted to put distance between him and I because we would only end up doing what was by now becoming a habit and falling into bed together.

As I grabbed Amelie and pulled her back to dance with me, I could feel the familiar pulsating throb from between my thighs at the thought of Charles. I tried to push the thoughts of him out of my brain as I began dancing and yet, it was a pointless task as all I kept thinking about was how badly I needed him and how he melted all of my annoyed thoughts of him away with a simple touch of his damn hand. The worst part was, just as Amelie and I settled into moving our bodies one of Charles’ friends rudely pushed between us. I was just about to argue and tell him to get lost when I suddenly felt hands creep around my waist. I didn’t need to look to know who they belonged too and I realised the intrusion in between me and my dance partner had been orchestrated.

“Running away from me?” Charles purred against the side of my neck. Why did he do this? Every single time we saw each other he always got underneath my skin. I hated him for it but I felt powerless against him and his cocky seduction techniques. His hands gripped my waist tighter as he pulled me back so I was flush against him. Our hips moving side to side while he got all the friction of my ass grinding against his crotch. “We said the last time was the last time.” “No. You did.” His words were more direct than I would have expected them to be. Almost like he was annoyed at me for implying I was about to turn him down - as if I could if I wanted too, just having the teasing action of his clothed cock so close to where I wanted it would have had me making a public embarrassment of myself right here in a nightclub. And without warning he used those lingering hands to turn me around to face him. “Let me take you home.” “No, Charles. We cannot keep doing this.” The sheer fact that when I spoke to him he was looking at my mouth instead of in my eyes made me want to kick him in the shin for being so vexing. But right as I was trying to convince myself to stand my ground against him he cast his eyes across my body and fuck, the things it did to me when he looked at me like that. “Charles, we’re playing with fire….”

“So? We’ll both burn together.” He shrugged nonchalantly. And I suddenly realised how we were no longer dancing and simply standing staring at each other while everyone else around us continued. In a regular situation - when alcohol wasn’t coursing through my body clouding my judgment - I would have felt self conscious but right now all I could think about was the fact he wanted me so badly he was out here making bold declarations. For a second the fact his first words to me earlier were about his ex girlfriend entered into my mind and a fleeting crushing feeling passed through my soul. He just wanted me to release his tension, not because he ACTUALLY wanted me. I zoned out briefly as I thought of how bad I always felt the next day and considered if I was strong enough to do it again. But as I was contemplating his hand travelled up to my neck and he made me look at him and I was gone. I wanted him to make me feel good.

How he managed to get us both out of the nightclub so easily I had no idea. His hand was wrapped around my wrist guiding me past hordes of people and out toward an exit. It took all but two minutes until we were in the back of a car heading back to his. It seemed too swift to me, too well thought out and I realised that he was so arrogant because he knew I would say yes and probably pre-arranged the car to pick us up. In that second I knew I should have been so pissed off and angry that he would think I was that easy but I let it slip again because I knew I was using him as much as he was using me. I liked the momentary, fleeting high he gave me. I was like a drug taker, he was the drug, and I was willing to take the short hits when I could. So I was every bit as bad as he was. Charles normally didn’t behave to politely in the back of the cars we took as we went back to his. His hands would be roaming, following suit with his mouth. He always made sure to light the match inside of me before we even got to the safety of his apartment. The fact he could be caught out, someone could tell, seemed to always be the furthest thing from his mind and so tonight, it was different. He sat further away and kept his hands very much to himself. And when I couldn’t help but glance across the car toward him and watched as his jaw seemed to clench I swallowed while nerves buzzed through my brain.

As soon as we got to his apartment building Charles called for the elevator and I couldn’t help but feel the same attitude radiating from him. It was the same attitude he had in the car and I thought about turning on my heels and leaving immediately. I didn't even know how to read him. Which meant I was so caught in the thought of trying to work him out that I missed the ding of the lift stopping on the lobby and sliding open. It wasn’t until Charles practically purred my name and held his hand out for me from inside the elevator that I snapped back into reality due to the look that filled his eyes. You knew it all too well. It was self assured, cocky confidence. He knew I couldn’t turn him down, I couldn’t turn his cock down, I craved it and what he could do with it too much. And so when my high heel clad feet crossed the marble floor and passed the iron thread hold of the lift I felt the surge of excitement buzz throughout my body.

The pair of us rode the elevator is silence but my hand remained firmly gripped in Charles’ and his thumb was delicately running over the back of my knuckles. It would be almost fucking romantic if there was any smidgen of a “normal” relationship between us. Now that I had registered the buzz of excitement I also felt the more steady and familiar hit of anxiety that went with it. It was pre-sex anxiety - that realistically I had no reason to have, this wasn’t my first rodeo (certainly not with Charles) but I still had it anyway. The silence would have been deafening to anyone else but right now I was kind of thankful for it. I didn’t want to chat because if I did I would feel guilt and I really didn’t want to feel guilty about what my body craved and desired above all else. The short ride up to Charles’ apartment ended when the lift door slid open and he gently pulled me out behind him. Fuck, I wish I had drunk more. Alcohol would have banished the unfair apprehension I was feeling. I leaned against the wall while Charles opened the door with his key. The curve of his shoulders made my mouth water. The thought of kissing his thick, strong neck while hearing the sound of pleasurable moans escape him sent a pulsating ache through my core. He pushed open the door and held it there with his hand, waiting for me to enter his abode first, ahead of him. And I mustered up all the confidence I could manage to saunter past him and glide into the hallway. The millions he took home from his career driving in fast circles paid off. Charles home was beautiful but like always, I wasn’t here to appreciate it.

Charles hands on my bare arms reminded me of that. He pressed against me from behind and I could feel his semi hard cock already straining against his jeans and I tried desperately to hold it back but a gasp escaped passed my lips as he moved my hair to the side to expose my neck to him. Fuck. The feel of his lips as they pressed delicate tender kisses against my flesh had my mind whirling. I pushed back into him more, instinct completely taking over, and a low groan rolled out of his parted lips and sent tingles up and down my spine. It was dangerous to have allowed myself to think it but I gave in and thought about how it would feel to have been his - properly, as a girlfriend - for all but a few fleeting seconds.

When Charles hands moved from my arms to my waist and I wasted no time. The alcohol came rushing back to me and I turned to him at breakneck speed. My lips finding his immediately. As my hands slowly glided upon the skin of his neck holding him to me. When I let out a small moan it was the sign he needed to start pushing me backward till my back pressed against a cold wall and his tongue pushed into my mouth. He tasted like the liquor he had consumed and as his tongue ran teasingly across my bottom lip he followed it with his teeth and it brought another moan from me, like he knew it would. Charles’ hands left my waist and I felt them slip down to my legs. His fingers skimming the outside of my thighs. I knew he wanted to push my dress up. He was growing impatient and that became very obvious when he yanked me away from the wall and pulled me through his house to his bedroom. The familiar surroundings welcomed me like a sneaky comrade. The walls practically smirked as I was pulled in by Charles. I could become accustomed to these plush surroundings if he saw me as more than a just a hook-up but that was a fucking dumb idea.

My dress was off faster than I knew what was happening. It was around my ankles on the floor and Charles was already making fast work of removing his shirt. His eyes hungrily fixed on my bare chest. He was practically wolf like as his eyes remained on my skin the whole time. I would have blushed if I had been less confident. “Take them off.” It was the first time he spoke since we had left the club. “You heard me.” He flashed his eyes down toward the thin scrap of black lace material that could barely behold the name of underwear. As my eyes travelled down to where his hands were working on ridding himself of his jeans I realised I wasn’t ready to allow him to have all the fun. “No.” I stated. “Take them off me.” My stomach flipped and I watched as a smirk disappeared from his face as quick as it appeared.

“That’s how you want it huh?” He abandoned trying to remove his jeans and his hand suddenly went to my neck and held me firmly before he used it to push me backward on to the bed. My heart hastily quickened. It hammered against my rib cage so quickly it began to hurt. I looked up at him full of expectation but he wasted no time in hooking his fingers around the sides of the only material left on my body and roughly pulling them down my legs and off completely. I watched Charles as he took me in. His eyes casting over and lingering in all the important areas. I bit my bottom lip as my own eyes mimicked his and I took in his perfectly sculpted chest and then his defined muscular abs. The lines on his hips that were line a tempting signal down toward his now erect cock, standing to full attention. He watched me watching him and cockily laughed. “Go on.” He tilted his head and I knew exactly what he was referring too. He wanted head. He wanted me to blow him. And I would have, I would have blown him till my jaw ached and throat couldn’t take anymore, but I reminded him that he wasn’t getting full control.

Much to Charles surprise, I pulled my ankles up and put myself on full display for him. I played him at his own game. If he wanted me to go down on him he had to do it first. I held his gaze and so when he laughed again I wasn’t so sure he was as willing to be a giver as much as a taker, but within a few agonising moments he proved me wrong. Charles was down on his knees and instantly pulled your legs up so you could rest them on his shoulders. And although it was something of an embarrassing confession to make, all of the times we had had sex, Charles had never gone down on me. Not once. So now that his head was between my thighs, mouth so tantalisingly close, eyes locked on to mine, I held my breath in anticipation. Charles gently ran his fingers up and down my dampening folds. I swallowed the breath that was caught in my throat as Charles finally licked a slow, teasing stripe that followed the pattern of his fingers moments earlier. He repeated the action over and over again. Using it to torment me. My hands grabbed hold of the sheets, fingers entwined in the high thread count duvet, when Charles began to pay attention to my pulsating, throbbing clit. Small, short flutters were mixed in with strong kisses. And then a loud exhale left my lips as he pushed two of his fingers inside me.

“Char….” I couldn’t get his name out. My breathing was erratic and all I could think about was what his mouth was doing. As his tongue continued lapping at my clit, his fingers curled up inside of me and Charles immediately found and started massaging that magical spot that made me gasp. And he continued even when I shoved my hands through his hair and gripped on for dead life. My eyes squeezed tightly shut as I felt the first high of an orgasm fast approaching. Swear words were all I could manage. My mouth going between wide open to get as much air as I possibly could and tightly shut with my top teeth digging into my bottom lip practically drawing blood. I was almost so lost in the beginning of the wave of euphoric pleasure that I missed the moan Charles made as he felt my walls start to convulse around his fingers. Fuck. How and why did I not beg for him to do this to me sooner? He was far too good at it. It was borderline obscene how good he was at it. And totally criminal that he had never gone down on me before. Right as I felt every nerve in my body begin to be ignited with the high of a climax Charles removed his mouth and in its place used the fingers of his other hand to draw rapid circles against my clit. The motion made me loose complete control of my mind and his name burst free from my mouth as wave upon wave of ecstasy crashed upon me. The high was undeniable. It took hold of my body and I felt myself quivering as he slipped his fingers out of me, covered in the product of my orgasm.

“Look at me.” Charles voice came quietly but strongly and I did as he requested. I opened my eyes and looked down at where he still remained, between my thighs. He held my stare as he ran the fingers he had brought me to orgasm with back up and down my now dripping folds. A small tremor shuddered through my thighs as he did so. And then with my eyes trained straight on his he raised his fingers to his mouth and licked them. It took a second to register the feeling that I felt in that moment but as he raised to his feet and I saw his cock rock hard, with its purpling tip already leaking pre-cum, I knew it was one that filled me with unashamed excitement. “Turn over.” He demanded and I relinquished the control I had won earlier so easily. Not because he wanted me too but because I wanted too. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than for Charles to fucking rail me into oblivion. I turned and got on all fours on the bed. Ass facing him. It was a position I had come to realise was one of his favourites. Sure he liked watching my boobs bounce as I rode him cowgirl and sometimes if he was feeling slightly more tired he’d fuck missionary, but Doggy was his favourite (like most guys). The momentary lapse of concentration earned me a firm thwack of his hand against the round flesh of my ass. I yelped and lunged forward and I felt the enjoyment radiating off of him. I doubted she let him do that, I doubted she would have enjoyed it. I moaned and after I wiggled my hips around a little he did it again so that a more audible whimper left my mouth.

“Fuck me…” I knew it was what he wanted to hear so I gave it to him. “Please, Charles….” I added more good measure and sure enough, he pulled my hips back and immediately ran his leaking cock over my sensitive folds to collect the mixture of his spit and my juices.

As he lined up at my entrance and pushed the head of his cock inside of me, teasingly slowly, I pushed back for more. It was an action that I knew he would have enjoyed and he groaned as he gave me more of himself. His hand splayed on my lower back and forced me down into the mattress more so I arched for him and then he gave me all of himself. He bottomed out and the stretch from his girthy cock had me once again gasping and gripping the sheets. He stalled for a moment - savouring the feeling no doubt - before he began moving. Slow at first. A steady but slow rhythm that I needed, rather than wanted, to quickly increase. Charles moaned loudly and paused for a second only to surprise me completely. “Your pussy is so fucking perfect. You, are so fucking perfect.” I knew he didn’t mean it in THAT way - he didn’t like me like that, I knew that and he didn’t even need to verbalise it - but his praise made me feel good all the same. I wriggled my hips again to urge him to move and when he did his pace increased. It increased until I was a panting writhing mess. I loved how big he felt at this angle and how he would alternate between giving me quick, short spanks and pulling my hair. And honestly I truly had to focus so I didn’t cum just yet. His cock continually hitting my g-spot could have made me see stars but I didn’t want to give in yet. I wanted more of him so I urged him on my moaning his name over and over and over again through heavy sighs. His hand wrapped itself around my hair once again and this time he pulled me back so my back was flush against him.

“Say my name again.” His voice was lower than I had ever heard it before. Lower than I ever thought possible. The hand that had been wrapped around my long hair was now around my throat, holding my in place against his body as he continued thrusting up into me. I couldn’t focus on words. I just kept thinking about Charles’ lips being on my neck and feeling how fast my heart was going through the vein they lingered upon. His teeth grazed the flesh and his name whimpered across my lips a few times before he finally called me a “good girl” and I almost lost my mind between that and the angle his cock was at. He had to know how close I was. He had to feel how my pussy tightened around his cock and I was beginning to struggle to keep going. His teeth sunk into my shoulder and he groaned as I couldn’t stop the orgasm that came thrashing down upon me. I grabbed his arm so tightly my fingernails would leave marks upon his skin. My whole body convulsed as finally I let go and let the climax take hold of me. The high Charles had given me seemed to be otherworldly and stratospheric. It took me to another fucking planet and none more so than when he groaned, gripped my hips and held me down in place while he himself, found release. I could feel the pulse of his cock inside of me as his hot, milky cum poured out of him. The feeling was insurmountable. The twitch of him as he filled me up seemed the prolong my orgasm even longer and when the shakes that ravaged my body became too much, I couldn’t keep my knees from giving way and so finally fell forward against the bed again. All I could hear was Charles and I’s heavy, exhausted breathing.

As Charles settled down beside me on the bed he ran his hands up and down my back. It was a rather tender, sweet motion for someone who had just railed me into oblivion but I didn’t mind it. Suddenly as I found myself lying still - still recovering from those two incredible orgasms - I felt the alcohol from earlier catch up on me. The room seemed a bit spiny and I really didn’t want to throw up anywhere in Charles all white apartment. But then - right on queue - with his breathing still laboured Charles asked if I wanted anything and suggested a towel and a glass of water. Not to sound like a broken fucking record but this was new, he had never done this before. He had never really spoken after we had fucked so this was totally left field. I nodded and said both would be nice if he didn’t mind.

“Ok, be right back.” I listened to his words but stayed in the same position as I had earlier - mainly because I was scared of being sick and because now I was completely exhausted but also because I didn’t want Charles’ cum to leak out of me and go all over his extortionate sheets. I thought the action of him going to get me things would have been nice for a normal, regular girl (y’know, one he was dating) but seemed unusual for him to extend such gestures to me, his fuck buddy, his hook-up, his piece of ass. When he finally came back clutching an ice cold glass of water and a warmed damp towel for me to clean up with I expected him to hand me my dress as well. But my dress remained on the floor and he stared down at me while I drank from the glass. “Let me.” He motioned when I went for the towel. Charles took the glass from me and placed it on the floor before crouching down there himself. I was about to question him, ask him what he thought he was doing, when he lifted one of my legs and slowly parted them. My breathing all but stopped as he dabbed at my slightly red, a little bit tender pussy with the warm cloth. I let out an unsteady, unsure exhale of air as he watched his cum slowly seep out of me.

“Hmmm….” He purred “I should have told you my pull out game is weak.” He chuckled and in that singular moment he made me laugh. He sat back on his heels and laughed with me and all of the nervous energy in my body disappeared. All I could focus on was the sound of his laughter and how much I liked it and in a different life I would have wanted to hear it every single day for an eternity.

I rushed to try and find my dress, hoping that he hadn’t torn this one like last time. I wanted to spend the least amount of time naked in front of him as possible now snapshots of last night began coming back to me. Charles observed from his place in bed. Watching me as I sprinted around to get back into last nights clothes so I could leave. As the sunlight streamed in through his window it bathed us both in the cold harsh reality of the day and it was very much bringing a self loathing vibe along with it. Suddenly a wave of riotous nausea flashed upon me and my head felt like it belonged in a vice. Through clenched teeth I rubbed my forehead from the searing pain screaming throughout it

“Can I get you painkillers?” His voice had turned soft and was rather strange because it wasn’t what I was used too from him - or was that the narrative my own brain made up for me to believe he was a metaphorical bad guy? “Don’t do that, Charles. Don’t be nice to me.” “Why?” He acted so innocent and I knew he was putting on a front, there was no way he could be so stupid. “Because!” I practically shrieked, “I’m your ex-girlfriend’s best friend and we can’t stop fucking each other.” “I think you’ll probably be her ex-best friend if she finds out about us.” FUCK! He really didn’t need to hit me with the reality stick right now. The smugness was almost woven through his voice and I had to restrain myself from throttling him. But in reality the cold light of day made me feel angry and disappointed with myself, something I doubted he felt about this situation at all.

“That’s not going to happen.” I snap back at him. “Because there is no “us”, there never will be an “us.” Your voice lowered and you knew it sounded sadder than you intended. It didn’t stop Charles from continuing however. “Right…..” he rolled his eyes “until you’ve had too many strong cocktails and vodka shots and then you won’t be able to say no. Just like you always.” With his words lingering in the air I had to fight the urge to yell at him that I was never the instigator and he was the one who always came after me. I desperately wanted to fucking correct him and scream at him that he used me to forget about his ex, about Ferrari, about all the pressures of the life he leads and that it was HIM that sought ME out, not the other way around. But for some unknown reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to start an argument with him. I pulled on my dress hurriedly once I found it, no longer wanting to be so naked in front of him. All I wanted was to get the embarrassing walk of shame back to my apartment over already. I busied myself from the silence by looking for my shoes and I almost missed Charles getting out of bed and getting dressed.

“I’ll give you a ride home.” I heard him say as I pulled up the covers and found my black heel under them at the bottom of the bed. I now felt uncomfortable in his presence after the last words he spoke. Instinctively I told him; “It’s fine, I’ll call an Uber.” “I’m not suggesting. I’m telling.” He stated bluntly and this was new, this had never happened before. He was rarely awake when I slunk out the door of his apartment - because it was always his apartment or hotel room never mine - so this was completely foreign to me. “If you’re sure.” I half expected him to say of course he didn’t mean it, laugh, explain he was messing and to call that Uber immediately. But he just nodded and picked up my other heel from beside the door and held it out to me. I tried to avoid his eyes. I didn’t want him to see any emotion at at all behind mines so I took the shoe and shoved it on to distract myself.

We didn’t speak the whole ride to my apartment. The silence was only somewhat uncomfortable but for some strange reason things felt rather calm. Sitting in the passenger seat of Charles’ Ferrari - which I had never before sat in - felt somewhat surreal. I was hyper aware that the seat still practically bore another girls name. It still belonged to her and he would have her back without so much as blinking. I kept my eyes on the roads as Charles expertly drove the expensive luxury vehicle around them. Hoping the red lights would turn green as soon as we approached them.

“I do like you, y’know?” Came abruptly from Charles mouth when we turned onto my street, my apartment building in sight. I thought my ears were deceiving me so I broke my trance and glanced at him. “I know you probably think you’re just a rebound or….” He trailed off as he put the blinker on to pull over into the lane he could stop in to let me out. I could see the front door to my building and I had never seen a more welcome sight. “…but it’s not like that.”

I was desperate to ask what it was in fact like, what exactly he thought was going on but thankfully he brought the car to a stop and I could finally jump out and escape the awkwardness. There was this uneasy feeling in the car that hit me like a led balloon and right in the middle of my chest. I hated it. I wasn’t used to it, especially not with Charles. I was used to feeling annoyed, frustrated and fuck, disappointed by him. The first few times we fucked I’d have said I felt used but that went away because I enjoyed our trysts as much as he did. And besides I didn’t need validation from him. I didn’t need him to need me. But then right now, as I waited to get out of the car with my hand on the door handle, it hit me how badly the words he had just spoken were actually all the things that I craved and desired above all else and it was startling. Then Charles said my name so gently, totally unlike he had ever said it before, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “I’d like to take you out sometime, properly. On a date.”

But before I knew what I was even doing I pulled the handle, pushed the door and started getting out of his car. He yelled my name so I would stop and for a second I did but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, to fall for him. “You know that can’t happen, Charles.” I managed to say in something struggling to be above a whisper “you don’t want me, you don’t even really like me, you’re still in love with her.”

The elevator ride up to my apartment felt like it took an eternity. The words he had spoken rang throughout my head as if a bomb had gone off and I was momentarily deaf. Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit and fuck how I fucking felt right now because of him. I was right for telling him that he was wrong and he still loved his stupid ex but it hurt because being with him always did. Being picked up and dropped all the time hurt. I wanted to be one of those girls who would have fallen for his words, whose stomach flipped when he told them he liked them, but I wasn’t and mines didn’t. I knew it was just about sex. I wasn’t his type. I wasn’t right for him. I’d never be his girl….and yet as the doors opened to my floor, I couldn’t wait till the next time I could fall asleep beside him and hate myself for it the next day.

*snow = cocaine

[catherinnn]

"Slut!" (Bad Omens part II)

Summary: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!reader. Despite what happened with Rudy, you and Eddie break up again to protect the band. Eddie moves onto a new relationship, but history repeats itself, causing strain within the group. Frustrated with the pattern, your bandmates threaten the future of the band. To add insult to injury, you're labeled as the "slut", with all blame directed your way —or so it’s claimed. Warnings: cheating, slut-shaming, a little smutty, a little angsty, a little fluffy, jealousy, mentions of Steddie x reader, y/n is used like two times sorry, I use a taylor song as if it’s corroded coffin’s so imagine it like rock, fighting, drinking, language Words: 7.1k a/n: please know that eddie is cheating on his girlfriend here, and it’s a happy ending for reader and eds, so if you don’t like that don’t read it. Also, this is like my fifth fic where there’s cheating I don’t know how to defend myself here, I promise I completely hate this irl, it’s just hot to write :)

part I: Bad Omens

Megan.

Eddie’s new girl.

Or as the headlines say: Eddie Munson’s New Hot Model Girlfriend.

Yes, she’s a model! Not a Victoria’s Secret model, thank God, that would be just what you needed to kill yourself.

She’s not actually “new” anymore, it has been a year already. Even a whole album in the middle, “kiss”. The one where you had to kiss Eddie on the mouth for the cover of it, that’s what everybody seems to care about anyway.

That’s not actually the cover though, it’s just Eddie sat on a chair covered in lipstick stains all over his face, neck and shirt. Then you with Gareth and Jeff behind him, each of you with a different lipstick color: you with red, Jeff with maroon, and Gareth with purple. Eddie has kisses of all those three colors all over him, but the one on the lips was red.

Anyway, they started dating over a year now. It was literal hell for you, watching her wait for him after shows in the backstage and once you go back there after finishing, watching her jump on him to congratulate him, watching them kiss, watching them dance at parties, her sitting on his lap all the time, listening to his god-awful comments or jokes with double meaning about what they did last night. But it was nothing, you two were just bandmates, best friends, he was to you just like what Gareth or Jeff were to you, the brothers you never had, right?

Only you’ve never kissed Gareth, nor Jeff. But you did kiss Eddie before, you’ve had sex with him, for God’s sake!

But you two are just friends, all the flirting is just for show. Or that’s what Eddie keeps telling Megan.

You’ve never had a friendship where you got mad at them for making out with their own girlfriend in front of you, and them actually saying sorry. But that actually happened between you and Eddie, he even dropped to his knees asking for you to forgive him, not having to give it a double thought as for why you were so jealous over her. You both knew. You just couldn’t do anything about it. That would put the band in too much danger, and the band came first, always.

But thanks to that little jealousy scene Eddie had to call Steve, who had told you he lost his job recently and was trying to figure out what to do with his life next, he was in no rush though, his family was filthy rich, so he could take all the time he needed. You had the amazing idea to invite him over for the rest of the tour, sort of like a little groupie of yours. You’ve had your short history with Steve the tour before this one, and also a shorter history involving you, Steve and Eddie, but that was before he got his own girlfriend.

Steve stayed touring with you guys all over Europe, but as you got back to the United States, Steve decided it was time to go back to his own life. You were sad obviously, understanding him but missing him nonetheless, it wasn’t like you two were much of a serious couple, again he was there as a groupie of the band’s lead singer. But he helped a lot as a distraction to forget about Eddie and Megan. And he obviously became someone important for whom you cared a lot.

Nowadays, it has been a few months since Steve left you guys, you were touring North America now. Megan couldn’t always be with you, she had to go back to LA for time to time to keep modelling, but she always flew to wherever you guys were to keep seeing Eddie.

She wasn’t with you guys currently, you were in New York having sold out two consecutive weekends, six nights in total that you were playing just in NY. You still had two more nights to end weekend one, but you still had a whole other week here. Next stop was LA.

The show was incredible, crowd went crazy as usual, and you all had an amazing night. With all that energy still in you, you guys went to an after party, and drank a lot to celebrate.

“Oh, there you are” Eddie says after he went to get more shots to do with you.

“Here I am”

“Ready for more?” Eddie asks and you nod.

“Always”

“Come here pretty girl” he demands and you both know that with that nickname you’ll do anything he asks for. “Open up” he orders right after holding you closer by the waist—and god you love the feeling of his hands on you. You open your mouth and he pours the liquid that was on the tiny cup, you swallow quickly and cringe at the strong taste of alcohol. “Good girl”

“It’s your turn now” you remind him.

“You wanna do it to me now?” he offers and you nod. He kneels in front of you, since he’s so much taller than you, so you can pour the cup into his mouth easily. You grin at the sight before you, Eddie on his knees, hands on your thighs now and his mouth wide open waiting for you, eyes locked on yours. You start pouring the liquid and he swallows it as if it was water.

“Good boy” you tease him back and he smirks.

He gets up not so smoothly this time, since he kind of stumbles almost falling onto you. He’s way closer now, eyes not leaving yours as if he’s mesmerized. “Hi”

“Hi” you giggle.

“You look really beautiful tonight” he whispers as if he was just thinking out loud.

“Yeah, I do?” you tease but he nods anyway.

“Yeah, and you were amazing tonight, so good, you’re always so good on stage” he keeps whispering.

“Thank you Eddie, you were amazing too,” you tell him, “and just between you and I… you always look so hot performing, playing guitar so I can sing with you…”

“Wanna kiss you” he practically whimpers getting so close to your lips they’re almost touching.

“Do it” you whisper on his mouth. You weren’t thinking, neither of you two was.

So he kisses you, his hand goes up to your hair and pulls you the centimetre closer that was left for your lips to touch. The kiss is passionate, hard, just what you two needed from each other. His hot tongue on your mouth make you sigh and instantly your tongue starts dancing with his. Your hands go to his hair to pull on it and he groans into your mouth. His hands go to your hips and he pulls you closer, you can feel the bulge in his pants against your tummy, and it turns you on even more.

“I need you baby” he says separating for a second just to keep kissing you.

“Need you too Eds” you whimper.

“Fuck-“ he takes a big breath an turns back to you. “Let’s go back to the hotel, please?”

You nod without even thinking twice about it.

“There’s still a few paps outside” he warns you, “ you go out first, I’ll be right behind you, we don’t want them to see this, right?” he signals his crotch and a chuckle escapes from your lips. You give him a good last kiss —well, for now at least— and you go outside, walk right into the car waiting for you, ignoring all the cameras and flashes that were also waiting for any of you to walk out of the bar. Eddie gets in after you and he wastes no time to attack your neck right after he closes the door.

“Back to the hotel” you tell the driver between giggles and he starts the car acting as if you two aren’t almost dry humping in the backseat.

The drive to the hotel passes by with moans and sighs between both of you, lots of making out and resisting the need to rip each other’s clothes off right then and there.

When the driver stops the car, Eddie grabs the first bill he finds in his wallet making sure it’s a good tip as a thank you for his professionalism. Thank God all the people that worked for you had to sing an NDA to get the job, otherwise your publicist would be ripping his hair out tomorrow.

There weren’t any paparazzi at the hotel thankfully, so you can get in and walk to the elevator in peace.

You press the bottom to your floor and the doors close as you feel Eddie pressing himself on your ass, you laugh and go back to kissing him.

When the doors open again you stumble until you get to the first room you see. Eddie’s room finally.

He closes the door by pushing you against it. His lips ghost over yours but he’s not yet closing the distance, grabbing you by the neck so you can’t kiss him. He gets his tongue out a little and you can feel the warmth over your mouth, but not the actual skin.

“Eddie” you whimper and he laughs at you.

“You’re so hot baby” he starts, “gonna let me fuck you, huh?”

He teases you but you nod nonetheless.

“You don’t know how much I missed kissing this pretty mouth of yours,” he stops for a second to give you a wet kiss, “had to hold myself back to not touch you all the time, not to feel you up in every little outfit you wear every night… but I missed this so much baby”

“Missed this too Eddie, please do something” you whimper again feeling so impatient for him. It’s pathetic how just a little fore play at the bar and in the car made you so dumb for him already. But then again, you haven’t had him in more than a year.

The night went on with lots more of teasing and need for each other. You filled the room with both of your moans and whispers claiming how much you missed each other and how glad you are to feel each other again. Not much thinking straight, just acting, doing what you waited so much to be able to do again.

And it was so good, you two always work so good together. The night ended late, after long rounds finally realising the need for each other where you were no longer drunk on the alcohol, but drunk on each other’s bodies and the love you have for one another. “I missed you”, “I love you” and “I need you” were the phrases you both kept repeating all night long. Not thinking of the consequences or what you’d do tomorrow, you just let go.

After what could be described as the perfect night because after sex you both went to sleep holding each other to then dream of each other, your morning started as the complete opposite. You were woken up by several knocks on the door.

“Eddie? Are you there, man?” you can hear the voice of Gareth making him guilty for the knocks that woke you up. You can also hear Eddie groan behind you, feeling his hold on your waist tighten to show he didn’t want to wake up yet, he wanted to stay like this with you for a few more hours—and so did you.

But apparently you weren’t the only one who heard Eddie because Gareth talks again, “Dude, is Y/n there with you? She’s not in her in her room”

“Yes!” Eddie shouts wishing that was all he needed to know so he could just fuck off and let you two sleep a little more.

“Okay good, we have to get down now, Rafe’s waiting for us to have breakfast and talk a little more about the new album or something” he informs you.

You both groan and complain a little, but then again, you’re used to this; being on tour does not equal having enough sleep.

“We’ll be there in a sec!” you inform Gareth so he can get going.

“Let’s keep sleeping” Eddie offers without even opening his eyes yet.

“No Eds, then they would just come to get us again, but this time angrier” you tell him.

“Fuck, fine” he sits up now, opens his eyes slowly to find you putting one of his shirts on. “Morning” he smirks and he feels his cock twitch at the sight of you with only his shirt on and nothing else, eyeing the glimpse of your ass cheeks showing under his shirt, also remembering what you have —finally— done last night.

You find your underwear but decide against putting them on again, they’re not in the best state after last night.

“Morning Munson” you say laughing at his state; his hair a complete mess, can barely open his eyes and his boxers do barely any work to hide his semi. “Come on, get dressed. I’ll go back to my room so I can find some new clothes”

“M’kay, but keep my shirt on, at least for breakfast” he requests.

“Fine, meet me in the hallway so we can go down”

“Yes baby”

You grab the rest of your clothes and check that nobody is the hall before getting out and quickly getting into your room.

While you get another pair of underwear and some jeans to put on, you start thinking about how calmed Eddie was this morning, you were slightly scared that he would wake up finding you naked and remember last night only to start freaking out regretting everything. But this only meant he meant everything he did and said last night, and you were glad.

You’ll figure out what happens with you two later today, but you needed to maintain calmed.

You met Eddie in the hall after getting dressed and you go to the elevator so you can get down to the dining room with the rest.

Little did you know that when you got there and walked to the table with rest of the band and your manager, a big fight would erupt.

Because just as you two sat down in front of the boys, Jeff started losing it.

“Uhh, hi?” his tone was angry.

“Morning” Eddie responds as if nothing.

“What did you two do last night?” he asked in between his teeth.

And with that, Eddie catches on too, you two look up at him with a guilty look on your face, neither answers his question and that all he needed to know.

“I cannot believe you two, you did this again?! Eddie, you have a girlfriend!” Jeff lets his anger out. “How the fuck can you be so calmed, coming down here covered in hickeys and you wearing his shirt?!”

“Jeff-“ Eddie started but he interrupts him.

“No, don’t Jeff me! What were you thinking?! What happens now, huh?! What the fuck is the plan?!”

“There is no plan” you say quietly knowing his response will be more screaming.

“Of course there’s no plan! You just act without even caring what happens next! What happens to the band now? Will you two just keep risking everything without a care in the world?! Need I remind you how your relationship with Rudy ended? That’s right, because you cheated on him with Eddie! And now you do the same with your girlfriend?! What the fuck is wrong with you two?!” He switches among talking directly to you, Eddie and both of you at the same time. You two catch up on it though, you both know what you did and the questions Jeff was asking were the same you two were trying to quiet down inside your heads.

Eddie is looking at him with an angry expression, as if he was ordering him to shut the fuck up. You, on the other hand weren’t looking at anyone, eyes locked somewhere down on the table, guilty expression on your face.

“I’m sorry Rafe, but if they don’t care about the band then neither do I” he finishes getting up and walking out.

The table now is even more uncomfortable, complete silence, no one knowing what to say next. Rafe sighs looking down, thinking hard but not saying anything. Gareth is looking at everybody quietly, he didn’t know what to do or if it was his place to say anything, so he decided to stay silent. Eddie was looking at you worried, you were still looking down somewhere at the table holding the tears.

Finally, after a few seconds, you decide to get up to leave too because you realize you won’t be able to hold back the tears much longer. “Not hungry anymore” your voice comes out week and shaky, letting the boys know how you feel, you slowly walk out of there too, going back to your room.

“Eddie,” Rafe is the next one to break the silence, “before I decide anything here, you and her should talk.” Eddie nods. “I knew this would happen eventually… you two clearly love each other and I need you to know that that’s not wrong, the band can still work but we need to be smart about how to handle this. I was just wishing you two wouldn’t do anything while being in a relationship with someone else… again”

“I know, I’m sorry” Eddie says and he decides to give you some more time before going up to talk. The three man have breakfast in silence, at least more calmed now after Rafe’s words.

What if all I need is you? –

Adorned with smoke on my clothes

Lovelorn and nobody knows

Love thorns all over this rose –

If I'm gonna be drunk

Might as well be drunk in love –

We'll pay the price, I guess

You stare at the words you just wrote on the little notebook. Instead of crying and overthinking everything, you stopped and decided to write the intense feelings inside of you, not caring if they made sense yet, not caring if they will ever end up in an actual song since how the band’s looking right now. Writing always helped you, it was like organizing your thoughts, organizing your head and your heart.

You get out of your head when you hear a soft knock on the door. “Baby, it’s me” you calm down when you recognize Eddie’s voice and you get up to open the door.

“I brought some food for you, you should eat something” Eddie softly tells you and you think you can feel your heart jumping, holding the need to hug him.

“Thank you baby” you think it’s either funny or dangerous how you two keep calling each other these kind of nicknames when everything is going to shit and it’s all your fault. It feels as if you’re having a warm cup of tea reading a nice book completely ignoring the hurricane that’s coming right behind you to destroy everything.

Eddie gets in and sits on the bed with you while you sip on your coffee realizing he prepared it just like you like it: more milk than coffee and four spoons of sugar. Sweet just like you is what Eddie thinks.

He finds the notebook and opens the page that was marked. He knew this was the notebook you wrote song lyrics on, so he knew he could open it without the fear of looking at something more private.

He read the lyrics and immediately a beat came to his head, he started humming it for you. It was slow and sweet and it fit the song perfectly. You were amazed at how he could just read your mind when you wrote songs. You just got each other when it comes to music.

“Sweetheart, don’t want you to be scared or nervous but we should talk” he almost whispers at how softly he’s talking to you. You nod understanding. ”Don’t want you to think of Jeff or the band for just a second, we should figure us up first”

“Eddie, what I feel for you is love. I’m completely in love with you, for years now. We both know this and it hurts so much to see you with her-“

“I don’t love her, you know that right?” he makes sure you know and you nod again. He knows the feeling though, it was how he felt with Rudy and then with Steve. It wasn’t simply jealousy, it wasn’t something dumb and possessive. It was the love you have to pretend you don’t feel for each other burning inside like a fucking mansion flaming to the bone. But you had to act as if it was nothing, as if you are just bandmates, best of friends.

Before you can start saying anything, you feel the tears building up again. He notices so he does the talking.

“Rafe said he knew this would happen eventually, we’ve always been in love sweetheart, it was bound to happen. He said the band can still work and I believe that too” he starts. “Baby, we didn’t want to be together in fear of risking the band’s future. It’s been years of being in love but not doing anything about it, and the love never went away. We’ve had big fights, we fucking dated other people but we still can’t get over each other. I think the band’s is in more danger if we keep this up, if we keep trying to just be friends than if we finally let go and let ourselves be in love”

Tears were already free running down your face. You nod at Eddie’s words. “I know; I think the same”

 A few seconds pass where you keep looking at each other with soft smiles tugging at your faces, you both agree on what you needed to do, but could you finally do it?

“So we can be together? Finally?” his voice brakes on the last word and it make you cry harder. You get closer to him, sitting on him so you could give him a big hug, one that shows all the love and need you have for one another. Hugging him around his neck and legs around his waist, face hidden on his neck and he does the same, with his hands around your waist and face on your neck. Impossibly closer.

After some minutes like that, he talks again.

“I have to break up with Megan”

“Yeah”

“I still won’t see her for another week, when we finish New York and flight to LA”

“I think you should maybe call her, so she’s not surprised with the news. I think it would be even worse if you don’t say anything and the second you see her again stun her with the news that you’re breaking up” you explain.

“Ok, yeah I will”

“Eds, I also think it would be smarter of us if… we don’t make it public until we’re both completely sure we’re ready. Think we should be together and be in peace to see how we actually work… I- I’m not saying to keep it a secret because of anything bad, but-“

“I know what you mean, I agree. We should take our time together alone, without the opinions or thoughts of others until we’re ready”

“Exactly”

After finish breakfast, Rafe comes to get you again. Rehearsal starts in twenty minutes.

You change your clothes and put a little make up on, also making sure to cover the hickeys.

When you get down you see the car waiting to take you to rehearsals, but Rafe makes you wait for everyone in the lobby, not getting in the car yet.

Eddie, Gareth and you are waiting for Jeff to come down and for a few seconds you fear he won’t. But the elevator’s doors open and he appears.

“Alright, before we get in the car, you’ll listen to me. We’ll all talk later, the safety of the band comes first and we have to talk about that while we’re all in the right headspace, not while being angry or anything. So as for now, you’ll do the rehearsal for the show you have to give tonight and you’ll forget anything than happened last night or this morning. Only focusing on tonight, you’ve been doing this for years now and you know how to be professionals” he explains. “Now get in the car and don’t worry about anything that is not the show for now, please”

You all nod in agreement and then get in the car.

Once you get there, you start rehearsing the songs and the dialogs, the times between each song, and set list that you already knew by heart since you’ve been doing this show for months now.

When you finish you go backstage and order food for lunch.

Eddie and you come to the realisation that it’s time to talk to Gareth and Jeff now.

All four of you are already together, each in their own head, not exchanging a word. Eddie looks at you and nods, it’s time.

“Guys, can we talk?” you tell them ignoring the knot in your stomach from how nervous you are. Eddie gets up and stands next to you, Gareth and Jeff get closer, paying attention to you now. Jeff seems pissed yet, like he clearly didn’t want to talk to you two, but he had to be a professional to be in a band, not acting like child.

“Listen, Eddie and I talked this morning after- after everything, and we have decided something, hopefully you agree with us” you start and the knot becomes tighter realizing that is possible they won’t agree… what happens then?

Eddie and you tell the guys what you said this morning. After all the years trying to forget and move on from each other, and the love never went away. The fights and new people you’ve both gone through and it never broke you two apart. If you still loved each other after all of that, there wasn’t something that an actual relationship could do to make you separate. Everything you’ve been doing trying to get over the love and trying to be just friends was risking the band more than any relationship could. All the toxicity of actually seeing each other with someone else and not being able to do or say anything was worse than any fight you could have as actual lovers.

You explained everything to them and now it was their turn to say what they think.

“I’ve had to see you two wanting to kill each other and the people you’re with because of the jealousy. You’ve written songs about that, maybe the 90% of our whole discography is about this, about wanting to be together but not being able to. I think the love you have for each other is stronger than each of you and you should stop being afraid of what could happen to the band if you break up, and actually being fucking happy with each other. I’m sick and tired of the Megans and the Rudys or Steves, and the look on your faces when you have to act as if you’re just friends” Gareth explains. “Just fucking be together finally and pull yourselves and us out of that misery”

Eddie laughs at how Gareth puts it, and you smile.

You turn to look at Jeff and you think you’ve never been this nervous.

He sighs noticing all the eyes on him awaiting. “I’m really happy you can see you belong together. Don’t think that what I said this morning means I don’t love you two and you both being happy. I was just scared of what would happen to the band, because I fucking love making music with you three idiots. I agree with Gare, just fucking get together already and cut the shit”

You all laugh at Jeff’s words.

“So, does that mean the band is still good?” you ask him.

“With no end in sight” he confirms and you feel so relieved. You run to hug him and he hugs you back, the two boys behind you join the group hug and you confirm that the band’s never been better than what is to come.

After lunch you make sure to talk to Rafe too explaining everything. And he agrees on the idea to keep quiet on it for some time. But luckily he’s very supportive of you.

It’s Eddie time to call Megan now, and it’s safe to say he’s not really looking forward to it.

He dials her number and after a few tones, she picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Meg"

"Eddie, hi! Wasn't expecting your call so soon"

"Yeah, I know, but I felt like I should. Sorry for not calling after the show last night"

"No worries. How'd it go?"

"It was awesome. The crowd here is unreal. I’m looking forward to play again tonight"

"That's great! Did you go out after or stayed in?"

"W-we did go out, yeah"

"Oh, cool"

"Listen, Megan, there's something I need to talk to you about" he begins, not being able to keep the small talk any longer.

"Okay, sure" she responds, her tone growing serious as she waits for him to continue.

"When we get back to LA next week, I think... I think we really need to have a… conversation" he says, cringing at his choice of his words.

"...Okay. Is everything okay, Eddie?" Is it… It’s not good, is it?” she asks in a serious tone. Eddie takes a few seconds to answer again.

“…No… it’s not. I don’t want you to overthink anything, but I thought it would just be cruel to… I don’t know, take you by surprise with it when I come back”

Though Eddie can't see her, Megan nods, nervously biting her lip. They both understand the unspoken implications behind "we need to talk," yet they can’t voice it already.

She's somewhat grateful he called to give her a heads-up, as painful as it is. Compared to the other guys she's dated, who might have dumped her over the phone or pretended everything was fine until they met in person, all in all, Eddie's approach feels more considerate.

"I'm serious, Meg. I don’t want you overthinking it” he insists

"Okay, I won't" she assures him. "See you, Eddie"

"Yeah... Bye, Meg" he says softly before they hang up.

He goes back to the guys with an expression you can’t really read.

“How did it go?” you ask.

“As good as it could, I guess. It was awkward and we didn’t really know what to say, I was trying not to say much so we can actually talk when I see her, but I didn’t want her overthinking why I’m breaking up with her… I don’t know, she didn’t say much either, there was a lot of silence”

“Yeah well, I’m guessing you’re not really someone she wants to talk to right now” Jeff says and Eddie nods.

“You ok?” you get closer to him; you didn’t like seeing him like this. A smile forms on his face, softening his features when he sees you worrying over him.

“I’m fine baby” he assures you but you hug him nonetheless, and he rests on the couch so you can cuddle.

The week flies by perfectly for both of you. New York is always a favorite, feels even more magical with Eddie by your side at all times. You seize every spare moment to soak up the city's vibes, wandering its streets hand in hand, delighting in each other's company.

If someone who didn’t know you two at all witnessed how you are privately, they would think you’re in a relationship of many many years. You’re always all over each other, touching in any way possible; you’re walking around the city and he has his arm around your waist, holding your hand or with his hand inside your pocket; you’re having dinner or driving somewhere and he has a hand on your thigh; you’re hanging out with the boys and you’re cuddling; you’re waiting for the elevator and you’re hugging him by his waist. Not to mention that you’ve booked two separate rooms but you’re only using one, since you’re sleeping together every night; and well, let’s just say that you’ve spend the week making up the lost time in the bedroom as well. Or as Gareth so kindly puts it: getting at it like rabbits.

But after you finish the three remaining shows on Ney York, it was time for LA, and you knew Eddie was a bit nervous about his overdue conversation with Megan, who technically was still his girlfriend.

The flight to Los Angeles passed by quickly since you slept the whole journey.

You had lunch and then rehearsal at the venue. In your way to the backstage one of the security guys tells Eddie that his girlfriend has arrived and is waiting for him.

“Okay, it’s time now… wish me luck” he says before heading to the room the security guy signalled.

He enters the room and sees Megan sat on one of the chairs.

“Hey” he greets her.

“Hi, how are you? How was the flight?”

“Fine, I just slept through it”

“Oh good, I heard a little of the rehearsal, you guys sound amazing”

“Thanks yeah, we changed the set list a bit so it’s not the exact same all the time” he explains giving in the small talk.

“Sounds good”

“How’s work?” he intends to ask her but she doesn’t answer his question.

“Eddie, can we just talk please?”

“Yeah, sorry. I um- I needed to talk to you because I have… fucked up a little” he finally says.

“What happened?” she asks but Eddie takes a few seconds to respond. Opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times until he says it. She has probably been wondering what actually happened ever since he called her.

“I cheated on you”

She nods her head, not looking at him now, eyes locked somewhere on the floor.

“With?” she asks and Eddie once again waits a few seconds until he tells her your name. She nods again, a sinister smile forming on her face.

“Is it funny?” he asks her now, frown forming on his face to show his confusion.

“No, just should’ve seen it coming” she says.

“I’m sorry”

“I bet you are. When did it happen?”

“Night before I called you” he can’t even look at her.

“So this whole week you spend it fucking her, didn’t you?”

“Meg…”

“No, what happened to ‘it´s all just for show’? All that flirting was actually real?” she’s accusing him but with a calmed voice that’s only freaking him out more.

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t- I don’t even know what else to say. I shouldn’t have lied to you, I shouldn’t have even put you in the middle of all this. I’m really sorry” he says sincerely.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have, but you did. Just like you shouldn’t have fucked her while you we were still together!” she waits for him to say something but he stays quiet. “Well, say something!”

“What? What else do you want me to say? Want me to tell you how it happened?!” he asks sarcastically but she actually says yes.

“Alright, yeah. Fucking tell me”

“No, I’m not gonna-“

“Say it!” she orders and he knows she not going to let it go, so he sighs and starts talking.

“After the second night we all went out to the after party. Started drinking with her, a lot. Started… flirting with her, a lot. Then I kissed her. And then we both went back to the hotel and slept together”

“Okay so, you slept with her because you were drunk, but then you called me basically telling me we were braking up. So you didn’t regret it” she accuses him.

“What? If I had regretted it would you have forgiven me?” he asks her angrily.

“No, I wouldn’t have. But clearly it didn’t take a lot of convincing from her part to dump me and run to her!”

“Don’t- just be angry at me, not at her” he tells her and she can’t believe those words actually came out of his mouth.

“You’ve been in love with her all throughout our relationship, haven’t you?!” she realizes. And Eddie is left with no other choice than just nod his head in affirmation, she’s right and she caught him. She laughs.

“Okay… I’m gonna leave now, can’t really keep looking at you” she decides. She takes her jacket and before opening the door she speaks again. “Thanks for the complete waste of time that this relationship was”

Eddie thinks he could say the same to her, but obviously doesn’t say. He knows it’s all his fault.

While Eddie and Megan talked, the three of you waited in another room. More people of the staff started to arrive already, it was still a few hours until show time, but they needed to get everything set up.

At one point, one of the woman of the dressing department came up to you saying it was time to pick tonight’s outfit. You all followed her into the hall and she showed you different options.

Gareth and Jeff chose their clothes first, she left Eddie for later since he wasn’t here yet. She started showing you some dresses, some tops with pants or skirts. And as you evaluated the different options, you heard someone opening a door and storming out. When you lift your gaze to see who it was you’re met with an angry Megan and Eddie walking out behind her. She meets your gaze and she smiles, but it was not a ‘nice to see you’ smile at all.

“Look who it is! Are you picking the outfit for tonight, let’s see what would Eddie like the most?” she says sarcastically.

“Megan, leave her alone!” Eddie warns her, but she doesn’t stop there.

“Did you have fun fucking my boyfriend behind my back? I bet you really did, didn’t you?” she accuses you. “You’re such a fucking slut just begging for his attention”

You wanted to say something but words didn’t come out. You just froze looking at her offended.

“Alright, that’s enough. Everybody saw you little show, now leave!” Eddie gets in the middle of you two. But that doesn’t stop her either.

“You know she only did this so you’d look at her instead of me, right? But as soon as I leave she’s gonna dump you again, ‘cause that’s all she wants; your attention on her, but she doesn’t want you. She’s just a bratty slut only wanting the toy when someone else has it” she keeps accusing you, you’re frozen on the spot, not being able to walk out or say anything back at her.

“James!” Eddie calls the security guy while keeping Megan off of you. “JAMES!”

As soon as James gets there he asks Megan to leave the stadium. And don’t get me wrong, she is petty, but no so petty to have to be carried away by security, so she just laughs one more time at the situation and walks away to where James guides her. Not without insulting you once more screaming “bye slut” and then walking away.

—

“Flamingo pink, Sunrise Boulevard. Clink, clink. Being this young is art” you sing into the microphone, the crowd erupting into screams as they recognize the song. It's the opening night of the new tour, result of the hard work that you’ve put into the latest album. Touring remains your favorite part of this job. Yours and the whole band’s as well.

 “Got lovestruck, went straight to my head, got lovesick, all over my bed, love to think you'll never forget handprints in wet cement. Adorned with smoke on my clothes, lovelorn and nobody knows, love thorns all over this rose. I'll pay the price, you won't” the pre-chorus begins, Eddie’s guitar guiding you on the times of the song, feeling the rhythm and energy coursing through the venue.

“But if I’m all dressed up they might as well be looking at us, and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once, and if I'm gonna be drunk I might as well be drunk in love” you playfully add a little embodying the lyrics' sentiment.

“Everyone wants him, that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time, and I break down, then he's pulling me in. In a world of boys, he's a gentleman” The chorus rolls in, and you can't help but revel in the lyrics, especially the line you know Eddie adores. You sing with a smile, amused by Eddie's attempt to hide his giddiness.

“This is luxury. You're not saying you're in love with me. But you're going to. Half awake, taking your chance it's a big mistake, I said ‘It might blow up in your pretty face’ I'm not saying ‘do it anyway’ but you're going to” Transitioning into the bridge, the words flow effortlessly. Singing this song feels like flirting with Eddie live in front of the big crowd. But then again, that’s just another Tuesday at work for you, and you’re far from complaining.

Eddie remains as your loyal supporter, amazed by the way you’ve turned a horrible experience with his ex into a beautiful piece of art. He will forever be your number one fan.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for selling my ex-friend's stuff? (TW: Brief mention of sexual assault)

[⛅ for recognizability]

I (NB, 20) had a friend who we will call M (F, 25) two years ago. She moved to my country, mostly for personal reasons and to be close to her at-the-time gf, and I lived in a small town a couple of hours away via public transport.

M has BPD, and after she and her girlfriend broke up after just a few months together IRL, started spiraling into a psychotic episode. I don't really blame her, and I was a bad friend during that period too (I have severe anger management issues), but I bacame sort of D's maid?

She would call me at any time of the day demanding my presence even though I had a hard time leaving my place, due to severe anxiety and the fact that is kind of isolated, and transportation is not available at all times of day.

I would be the main person cleaning her house, despite not living in it. One time I didn't show up for two weeks bc I was dealing with my grandmother's cancer, and then, I had to eradicate a fungal infection from her sink.

She moved a lot of times bc she was living off AirBnBs, and I had to package all her stuff. Sometimes she left me alone in the process.

I would have to order take out for her, becouse she refused to cook and also didn't want to do the necessary process for being able to order it herself.

We had about six months of that, before M tried something with me that was trigger (and she was aware it was, we had talked about this) even after I said no multiple times. I tried to work out my friendship with M afterwards, and continued to help them through their situation, but two months afterwards she moved back to her country of origin, being mostly alone here.

Now, I have about 7 square meters of space in my current living situation, and M left me a lot of her stuff + an exotic pet "to return to her if she ever came back". It physically could not fit in my room.

A few weeks after she left I asked if she wanted it shipped, and she said I could throw it away for all she cared about. Taking it as a sing she didn't want it anymore, I got in contact with her ex and returned her items, rehomed her pet to a loving family (the current owner is a vet who specializes on her spices, and I did a tourough fallow up), and sold the rest of Ms stuff that I had no use for, outside of some objects I knew had sentimental value to her.

Two years later, she is asking for all of it back. I told her I don't have all of it anymore, but would be happy to mail her what I still have out of my own pocket. She got mad and called me all sorts of awful shit, what should I do?

What are these acronyms?

[aita-polls]

AITA: My (F31) best friend (F33) got angry at me for not organizing her a bigger birthday celebration.

I've known my best friend for 10 years, we've been through a lot, we used to work together and now we don't anymore, so we only see each other for birthdays and celebrations, and we text each other as we need to, not everyday nor once a week, more like twice a month.

Usually on my birthdays she and our other best friend (M37) go all the way out to celebrate me. It's been a dynamic we've had since we met, that in our birthdays we try to go all in, with surprises, usually weekends spent somewhere else (like the beach or mountain) and basically doing a lot for the birthday person, it's not always perfect but most of the times it's big.

Now last year, we tried to organize for her a good birthday celebration, we went to have dinner at the beach and then to a kind of amusement park close to it (we're not from the US), it was expensive and supposed to be nice but it rained and the restaurant we were supposed to go was closed so we went to another one and basically I could tell she didn't like it. She didn't say anything except that she and her girlfriend didn't like to go out that much anymore because of drinking and driving, so like they felt more comfortable drinking at home. And that was her excuse for like, not having fun then.

So this year we planned a home party for her. We went all in with liquor and different cocktails, more expensive stuff that we usually don't do, snacks and everything, but due to convenience (her house being the biggest and having enough rooms for all of us to sleep in) we decided to throw her the party in her own house. I asked her and her gf if that was okay, if they liked the plan and she said yes, that she'd always welcome us gladly... it was supposed to be an opportunity to be stupid silly drunk without any of the risks or stress of doing it in a public place.

Fast forward to the very same day of the party... her girlfriend was in charge of getting some edibles for us to eat at the party and she tells me none of her suppliers has product available. I don't know anything about buying that kind of stuff, it's always their thing to get that for the group, so we tried a couple of options and basically we didn't have any weed for the night.

So she texted me asking, since we had no weed, if we had another plan for the night... I'm like ??? no??? we did have enough alcohol to get super wasted, so in my mind I was like: even tho it's sad we won't have weed, there's still everything else we had already purchased for the party.

She then sends me a 7 min voice note saying that she needed to be honest with me, that our friendship could survive this because we were both adults and I should be able to listen to this without it offending me, but basically she felt bad because she thought she deserved better than just a house party, in her own place where she's everyday... that all of our parties she did everything to make it special, and started naming examples of this, but that since last year she'd felt we didn't do the same for her. That last year we went to places she'd already been in, and this year we were doing the party at a house? when none of our celebrations were ever at our houses... and stuff like that.

She also mentioned that though it's true that she's been forgetting to get us christmas presents for the past two years (which is true) it's not fair for her to get this kind of celebration, when we are three people (me, my other friend and her gf) to divide expenses with...

So, AITA for not planning a bigger party for her? I genuinely thought that the house celebration was going to be good, I'd like something like that for my own bday party. I also feel like, if she felt like this she should've told me before, not the exact day of the party at noon. I feel like she only said this to make me feel bad and I'm still so angry, but when I've talked about it with people irl they only say that she should've mentioned it before... but they do think that her comments are valid, as in, she's right we should've done something bigger for her... so I'm genuinely asking 🙏🏽

[olderthannetfic]

https://newrepublic.com/article/120689/babdook-what-it-says-about-you-if-you-enjoy-horror-movies

This is from years ago but I had to go dig it up for the "cozy horror" conversation.

The article claims that horror fans are more likely to lack empathy. But the study they mention didn't survey horror fans, it surveyed people who watch horror movies on dates. Maybe choosing a movie for a date without regard to your partner's tastes demonstrates a lack of empathy, and the genre or content of the movie itself doesn't have much to do with it?

It claims that horror fans are more like to "be aggressive and thrill-seeking". That one I'll give a pass. Horror movies themselves are a specific kind of thrill. Anecdotally I wouldn't say that I or any other horror fan is more aggressive than the general population, but if a study lumped aggression and thrills together as one metric it'd be impossible to sort out (horror authors and other creatives, in my experience, tend to be fluffy bundles of joy IRL. Jungi Ito is Tumblr's favourite example)

And horror fans are more likely to be men. The article straight up admits that its data there is outdated. Moving on.

And lastly, the one that ticked me off so much that I remembered this article for ten years. People who watch horror movies are more like to "be a man accompanied by a frightened woman". This one is based on a study from the 1980s (so outdated even ten years ago) and looked specifically at college kids watching horror movies in m/f pairs. This tells us absolutely nothing about people who enjoy horror, and a lot about college boys in the 1980s. I like to think that college boys in the 2010s and 2020s are a little different, since gendered expectations have shifted a little over the last 30-40 years. But even without that, I cannot stress hard enough that this study did not look at people who like horror movies, not to mention that adults of all genders are usually more mature than college kids in their interactions with fiction and with their movie-going partners.

And also, since this is Tumblr specifically and fandom in general, we have to mention that when gender comes up, the article is talking exclusively about studies that did not account for queerness.

If we want to talk about horror movies in a fannish context, we have to understand that a large portion of the audience will be queer in some way or another. It's simply not fair to say "college boys like it when their girlfriends are scared of horror movies, therefore horror fans are doing some sort of macho endurance posturing" when you've got an audience full 35 year old pensexuals without genders going "actually, I just think it's neat when monsters eat people".

--

When I was younger, I thought I didn't like horror...

And this was because I grew up in an era of particularly boring-to-me slasher movies that were usually also pretty misogynist.

Turns out I like gialli fine. It's just 1980s US horror of the most mainstream type that I hate.

I am singularly unsurprised that women on dates in the 1980s were unimpressed with this choice of movie.

I'll take articles about horror seriously only if they start by going to one of those Lovecraft conventions or something and actually dealing with the Horror Fandom as it exists today.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

The top two characters will be eligible to proceed into the bracket!

Propaganda under the cut.

Dahlia Hawthorne:

did a lot of murders and poisonings but they deserved it imo so she’s ok

She has committed so many crimes. And in an outfit that wouldn’t look out of place on Barbie at that. She’s the DEFINITION of girlboss, and she can poison me any time.

Aura Blackquill:

her brother got framed for the murder of her wife and she became bitter and evil because of it. this led to her holding an entire space center full of people hostage to get him a retrial

So she may have a robot army to take a couple people hostage, and blamed an 11 year old child for killing their own mom (who was her work partner and maybe sort of girlfriend), but in her defense her brother was about to be executed for a murder he did not commit and there was definitely some evidence that pointed towards the 11 year old being the culprit. So what else was she supposed to do? Just sit by while another important person to her is taken away and the real killer gets to go free? She tried to do things right and go through the police but that didn't work, and sometimes when you run out of options and run out of time you have to use unconventional methods. And in the end it worked and the execution was cancelled and the real killer was found (it wasn't actually the 11 year old child, now 18, but that's beside the point), so in the end things were ultimately better as a result of her actions so you can't exactly say she shouldn't have done it. So she did some things wrong but they are also understandable. I don't think she's a bad person deep down, she just got screwed over by the broken justice system.

Kidnapped a bunch of people but it was like. So the courts would do a retrial for her brother because she believed he was innocent (he was) a day before his execution, and so who she believed the true killer was (she wasn't) would take his place (she didn't) Also a lesbian <3

Franziska von Karma was submitted without propaganda, but I know AA well enough to attempt to write my own. She is obsessed with the idea of crafting the "perfect case" and goes so far as to hide evidence, manipulate witnesses, and also physically assault everyone with a whip in order to achieve it. However she was only doing it to avenge her adopted brother and at the end of the game she comes around and ends up delivering the crucial piece of evidence to save the protagonist's assistant from being killed by an assassin.

Dee Vasquez was submitted without propaganda. My attempt: She has ties to the yakuza and blackmailed one of the actors at her studio into basically being a slave to her. When he gets fed up and ends up trying to kill her she kills him in self-defense, making her one of the few "true culprits" in the series who would actually be found not guilty in an IRL court of law.

Ini/Mimi Miney was submitted without propaganda. My attempt: She was overworked to the point that she accidentally killed about a dozen people by switching their meds while sleep-deprived, then felt so bad about it that she got into a car crash, stole her sister's identity, and pretended she was dead for years. Then she killed a guy because she was worried about him revealing her secret.

Jezaille Brett / Assa Shinn:

prime example of god forbid women do anything. like cmon she just killed a bunch of people and left no trail behind so masterfully she up and haunted the entire goddamn narrative. her name is mentioned in secret messages in streets in papers in fear in mystery and we don't know her motivations still; why does she do what she does we do not know, and will never find out. fucking girlboss she's there for one case then the next we see her she's dead. what is up with this woman and why is she so important despite not seeming so ever.

Olive Green:

She qualifies as after her fiancé died from gas inhalation, she had questions about his death and suspected one of his fellow tenants to have murdered him rather than it being an accident. She consequently attempted to murder him. She rocks because we have to stan a vengeful woman!!!!!

Iris Hawthorne / Sister Iris Hazakurain / Sister Iris of Hazakura Temple:

well she’s more morally ambiguous than her sister!!!! she covered up a lot of crimes and lied about her identity to her (long series of hand gestures to indicate how complicated the boyfriend status is) Sorta Boyfriend for. like nine months i think. and she would have gotten away with it too if not for her co-conspirators fucking everything up

[victimized-martyr]

Did you ever mention how you got into kyman? Personally speaking, I got into it (again) around 2020 when I rewatched sp, and I basically fell down the rabbit hole. I’ve been into it on and off since then.

I probably did somewhere, but I'll say it again!

I wanted to see what SP was all about so I decided to just watch the most recent episode/special at the time-- post covid. But I realized, it was a story that wasn't forgiving for newcomers, and I had NO idea who was who. I have vivid memories of being weirded out by the redhead guy being upset about the rabbi dude's wife and kids. Then when he said "did you know that he once snuck into my room and gave me fucking aids?!" I GASPED bc one, it was super out of nowhere, super crude, and two, I falsely assumed like, OHHHHH they're gay exes... that explains this weird behavior. I'm sorry what else was my dumb ass supposed to assume! And I watched the rest of the special viewing them in that context hgkd But when I started to properly watch the show from the beginning/ hop between episodes, I felt embarrassed for myself, I was like HOW on earth could I have made that false assumption. I was actually grossed out by the thought of kyman at the start! I knew that Cartman was obsessed with Kyle, and that they did care for each other as friends, but I couldn't fathom Cartman's obsession being anything genuine or Kyle reciprocating. I even made a post abt it on my main as I was watching the show, it might still be in there somewhere lol. I was happy just watching the show as is and I was like, dang! This might be the first thing I get into without shipping anyone! Then, my buddy @shpadoinkle-day texted me what was practically the kyman manifesto and urged me to "wait till seasons 20/21, it'll change everything"

at the same time, an irl buddy watched THAT moment in Manbearpig w/ me for the first time and went "that's... kinda fruity" and I was also like?? yeah?? damn... Then I saw seasons 20/21 and it opened up my eyes. I think it was the only seasons I was so enthralled with to completely binge in one night ghfksd and I. was. floored. Kyle crying over cartman? during a montage of couples breaking up? Kyle being speechless when he saw cartman get a gf? Kyle questioning if he liked heidi, Kyle's stupid ass "we're all going out with Cartman right now", how he inserted himself in the relationship so hard, yet when taking heidi from cartman, talks as if he wasn't doing it for Heidi. His frustration at Heiman was at the very top in list of justification at bombing a country (yes, Kyle says he's upset a girl he liked turned into cartman... but there's layers in that statement, esp. compared to kyle's actions). Kyle memorizing the day they got together, confronting Heidi and asking how Cartman is doing as a boyfriend, what specifically she finds about him that's redeemable (and we all know how Kyle is about finding the good in people), batshit insane things a normal person (like stan) wouldn't ask his friend's girlfriend. And then of course, Kyle dropping all that effort when they break up. Insanity. I realized the obsession was mutual, and rewatching the show in that context completely rerouted my watching experience with the show. It kinda made it funnier for me too lolol. I started picking up on all the evidence I saw shippers point at, and I got what they meant fr. Kyle and Cartman are assholes and poke at each other's insecurities, have hurt each other, yet will not let the other die, Kyle is usually the first one to call for cartman if something happens to him, he saves him when he doesn't deserve it, and Cartman, as stated by Stan, cannot live without him. And it's subtly shown he wouldn't keep kyle just to rag on, bc if that were the case, he would not hesitate to hold it over Kyle's head. Their feelings for each other are very complex, and--if you really pay attention to the show--mutual.

[kwanisms]

Under the Cherry Tree — c.san

❀ ateez masterlist ❀

➮ bff!San × fem!Reader wc: 2.1k summary: Y/N has something important to tell her best friend San and asks him to meet her at their favorite cherry tree on campus. genres/themes/au: fluff; friends to lovers; non idol au, college au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, slightly suggestive content, mention of alcohol consumption

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem @salty-for-suga @devilsmatches @dmnspiit @simeonswhore @yangracha @seonghwalover @atinypurr @aikyubi @labyrinthonmymind @bintificreads @toxic-babexe

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join my taglists! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED.

a/n: part of the 2023 Meet Me Under the Cherry Tree event for @cultofdionysusnet. I'm sorry this is so late. I meant to have this done and up way before the deadline for this event but other events wnd collabs got in the way and took up more of my time. Writing this one was easy. When the randomizer paired San with fluff, I knew I wanted him to be the reader's best friend. After that, it practically wrote itself lol thank you for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner and line breaks made by me. Creator reblog banner template by @cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All my writings are ©️ kwanisms.

For most people, cherry blossoms signify the start of something new.

New beginnings.

For you, cherry blossoms have always made you think of your best friend.

Choi San had come into your life when you least expected it.

He’d been a stranger you ran into on the playground and again on the first day of junior high. He’d been an awkward, thin, shy, and quiet boy and to an extent, he still was.

Well, except for the thin part.

Late into senior high, San had filled out, spending more time at the gym than at home reading or playing video games with you. Not that you were complaining. San used his new found strength to keep unwanted attention off you.

Of course, it also meant he had a gaggle of giggling girls following him, constantly asking him out and to be their boyfriend. San never took any of it seriously. Always preferring to spend his free time either in the gym or with you, studying so you both could attend college together.

When graduation came, you were ecstatic to finally be free from the confines of high school and onto the upgrade that was higher education. Your parents hadn’t been on board with a co-ed dorm at first until San promised to keep an eye on you which was made even easier when you were assigned to the same floor but unfortunately not as roommates.

Your roommate ended up being a girl who you befriended well enough but she was no replacement for San. For you, no one could compare to your best friend. No one could ever replace him.

You soon learned that it wasn’t the case for him towards the end of your freshman year of college when San finally gave in to one of the girls in his class and agreed to go out with her.

One date turned into two and then into three and soon he was introducing you to his new girlfriend, Hanna. You tried to be happy for him, you really did. After all, college was all about new experiences, right?

That’s what you kept telling yourself as San spent more time with Hanna and less time with you. Your roommate, Bee, decided enough was enough and took you out with her one night. A very rare night out where you met the man you would both later dub as “trouble.”

Wooyoung was kind enough, albeit a bit loud and boisterous. He took an instant liking to you however he wasn’t the one who ended up turning your life upside down. That was Yeosang, Wooyoung’s best friend.

Yeosang was a lot like San in that he was quiet, a little shy, studious, loved to work out and always had a group of girls fawning over him. The only difference was where San was spending more time with Hanna, Yeosang, wanted to spend more time with you.

Winter break brought with it a visit back home where you spent a lot of time at home, seeing your family and only seeing San a couple of times. When you went back to school, it was like you and your best friend had become strangers. The movie nights you usually held in your dorm room had been replaced with date nights with Yeosang, your first official boyfriend.

The second semester brought with it Valentine’s season and with that, San got his first dose of heartbreak when Hanna broke up with him.

The night it happened, you woke up to your phone vibrating on your nightstand and that was the first time you spoke to San in months. You listened to him rant, cry, and vent until eventually you both fell asleep.

You weren’t sure how but San managed to reintegrate himself into your friend circle. He got on very well with Wooyoung surprisingly but the real issue was with Yeosang. The two, despite being so similar, did not get along at all.

You tried to keep the peace, mediating and keeping them physically separated when the circle was together. It became exhausting until you finally put your foot down, telling both of them to grow up and stop acting like babies.

San seemed to handle this as he normally would have but Yeosang didn’t handle it as well. A lot of fights were had between you and Yeosang and thus began the long, complicated on and off again relationship with him.

It was clear San didn’t like this but out of respect, he never said anything. For an entire year, Yeosang and you fought, broke up, made up, and got back together. It seemed like every two weeks, you were making up.

You’d be lying if the fights and breakups weren’t exhausting but the makeups always seemed worth it until the final explosive fight that ended things for good.

It was junior year at a house party at one of the frats. You were enjoying yourself, drinking and having a good time. You and Yeosang had just gotten back together and he promised for good this time. Your finals had gone well and you were riding on cloud nine. Nothing could have prepared you for what was to come.

Ever since your last makeup with your boyfriend, San had seemed distant and indifferent. Perhaps he was just upset that he hadn’t found anyone to occupy his free time like you had, or perhaps finals week hadn’t gone as well for him.

Whatever the case, he had been sulking all week and it was starting to get on your nerves. You had come with San and Bee and met up with Wooyoung and Yeosang and almost immediately, Yeosang had pulled you onto the dance floor.

Unbeknownst to you, San watched the two of you bitterly as he sipped on whatever punch the hosts had prepared. You weren’t sure how many cups he’d had but someone later told you about six.

When Yeo had disappeared to get drinks for the two of you, San made his move. He swooped in, pleading with you that he needed to talk to you. You could immediately tell he was drunk and had told him he needed to go home but he refused. He had to tell you something important before the moment slipped away forever.

It was then that San drunkenly blurted out that he was in love with you and had been for a while. It was the reason he and Hanna broke up. Uncertain what to say, you had told San that it wasn’t the time to discuss this but he insisted, saying he’d been in love with you since before college.

It was that moment that Yeosang overheard the conversation and decided to step in, telling San to back off. Drunk and fueled by his overconfidence, San blurted out that Yeosang was sleeping with another girl the whole time he and Y/N had been off and on again.

A scene had formed and soon it turned into a scuffle in which Wooyoung and one of the hosts who you later learned was named Changbin broke up the fight, pulling both men apart while Yeosang warned San to stay away from you.

Changbin managed to get San outside the party while Wooyoung managed to calm Yeosang down while you made your way to the bathroom, having had the drinks Yeosang got for you spilled all over you when San lunged at him.

Bee had spent part of the night helping you try to get the smell of booze out of your clothes but you knew the only way to really fix it was to go home and wash your clothes.

As you left the bathroom, you were confronted by a girl you’d seen a few times before. She confirmed San’s story that Yeosang had been sleeping around while you were off and on. She apologized, being under the impression that what you and Yeosang had was casual.

You decided to confront Yeosang and break up with him once and for all.

He put up more of a fight than you expected but when you left, pulling from his grip one last time, he seemed to get the message and let you go.

San remembered everything from that night from the fight to confessing to you. He promised that you didn’t need to reciprocate his feelings he simply wanted you to know how he felt and he wanted you to know the truth about Yeosang.

Your friend circle fell apart shortly after the party, Wooyoung being Young's friend after all. Bee stuck by your side as did San. You focused on your school, making time only for your friends between classes and studying.

It had been almost a year since the party.

You hurried down the steps, careful not to trip as you pulled out your phone and shot a quick text to your best friend.

You: the cherry blossoms are blooming

You sent the text and hurried across the lawn, ignoring the stares from your classmates as you did. Your phone vibrated in your hand and you came to a stop to read the text.

Sandwich 🥪: big deal? We see them every year Y/N

Big deal? It was a big deal! Since breaking up with Yeosang and focusing on yourself and repairing your friendship with San, you’d come to realize three things.

No matter what, your friends would always be there for you

Boys were icky and men weren’t any better

You were in love with your best friend.

You sighed heavily as you typed a quick response.

You: oh whatever sourpuss, just meet me there!

Sandwich 🥪: 🙄 aye aye captain 🫡

You pocket your phone and continued, running across the lawn huffing as you reached the top of the hill. On the other side stood the south lawn which was home to a cluster of cherry blossom trees which were in full bloom. Pinks, whites, and everything in between decorated the branches, the blossoms swaying gently in the breeze as you started down the hill.

Running downhill was much easier than uphill and you reached the cluster in record time, gazing up at the delicate flowers as you walked past many of your classmates as they took pictures of the trees and each other.

You continued walking until you reached the furthest tree. It was your favorite one. It had clearly been there longer than the others and was much larger. In fact, it was large for a cherry blossom tree to begin with. Blossom covered branches hung down, shielding the trunk from view.

Pushing one of the branches aside, your eyes widened as you took in the sight of your best friend standing under the tree, phone in his hands as he snapped a couple pictures. It only took a moment for him to notice you, quickly hiding his phone as you approached.

“You got here fast,” you said, slightly out of breath. San shrugged. “I’ve been here the whole time,” he admitted softly, pocketing his phone and moving to sit at the base of the trunk, setting his bag next to him.

You moved to sit beside him, shrugging your own bag off and setting it down before taking a seat beside him. You looked up at the blossoms blowing in the breeze, a smile on your face.

Next to you, San watched you with a fond smile. When you turned to look at him, he didn’t look away like he had over the past year. He held your gaze. “What?” you asked with a shrug. San shook his head but reached forward, picking up one of the blossoms that had fallen from the branches.

“Nothing,” he murmured, inspecting the flower before reaching up and swiftly tucking it behind your ear. Your cheeks burned as you glared up at him but he merely smiled back at you. “Pretty,” he said simply.

Your gaze softened before looking down at the ground. “Shut up,” you murmured before leaning into his side. San accepted the gesture, draping his arm over your shoulders. “You are,” he said simply. “Pretty,” he added.

“I’ve always thought so.”

Your cheeks burned even more. “So are you,” you whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear you but when he shifted to look at you with wide eyes, you knew he’d heard you. His shocked expression morphed into a smirk. “You think I’m pretty!” he teased only to stop talking when you leaned in to kiss him quickly.

“Yeah, and?” you replied, puffing your chest indignantly. “So what if I think you’re pretty? I think lots of people are pretty! I just happen to think you’re the prettiest and I’ve also always thought you were pretty and—”

Your rambling was cut short as San cupped your cheeks in his hands, pulling you into another kiss, this one much more tender and longer. When he finally pulled back he nuzzled his nose against yours.

“You think I’m prettier?” he asked, smiling when you nodded.

“Well, I think you’re the prettiest.”

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 22 - Let's Dance

IN THIS CHAPTER: Matching outfits, a parking lot talk, and Hellfire does Prom [10.5k]

WARNINGS: underaged drinking (no one gets drunk), mentions of teenage delinquency, Eddie being an unreliable source of info about Hawkins' recent oddities, shitty former friends and partner

A/N: so. this chapter was supposed to come out last week but i got food poisoning, which turned into me taking a day off work because i felt like shit and when i returned, it got insanely hectic to the point where i did three extra hours today. life is lifing, friends! in order to keep myself sane (i cried at work again today, it's not looking good folks) i'm gonna throw away the update schedule and post whenever i feel like it. i'm still gonna aim at one chapter per week though! i just won't make promises on dates anymore because nothing is working out irl at the moment. anyways, enjoy the chapter and i'll see you when i see you (soon, i promise)!

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Put on your red shoes And dance the blues

Friday, June 6th - 1986

On Thursday afternoon, Eddie Munson made the mistake of not telling Dottie Burke - his girlfriend that wasn’t actually his girlfriend because he hadn’t asked her out yet - why he couldn’t drive his friends to Donny’s family restaurant for dinner before prom. They’d been lounging on her bedroom’s window seat, radio playing at a low volume while they lazily kissed and cuddled, taking full advantage of the fact that her Dad hadn’t arrived from work yet when Eddie mentioned having to run an errand with Wayne on Friday after school. He said he was probably going to arrive late to the gathering, so they should make plans without him and he’d meet them at the restaurant whenever he was done. The metalhead noticed how Dottie freezed in his arms, lifting herself up from her comfortable position on his chest and put a little distance between them, but since she didn’t inquire further, he simply left a few hours later without ever explaining himself, leaving her to sink into a spiral of self-doubt and very familiar anxiety that left her equal parts jittery and exhausted.

That night after dinner, Dottie called her Auntie Rachel to ease the pang of rising panic, desperately seeking reassurance from the older woman who was always plenty eager to provide a pep talk to her favorite niece whenever she needed one. Everything will be fine, Rachel had said while nursing a glass of red wine all the way in her apartment in New York, her kids already tucked into bed and a newly acquired romance book waiting for her on her bedside table. Stop worrying about it, bug. Senior prom will be the best prom of your life. But as much as she tried to help, Auntie Rachel hadn’t been made aware yet of the change in her niece’s relationship with the older boy, so her advice rang hollow in Dottie’s ears, and the teen had ended up having a pitiful and unsatisfactory sleep before what was supposed to be the most exciting day of her senior year up until that moment.

Still, Eddie had behaved completely normal on Friday at school towards her and their friends, which had eased her nerves slightly. He didn’t make any comments about being anything less than happy to attend his first and hopefully last senior prom, and once he’d dropped Gareth off at his house, he’d lingered in Dottie’s driveway for ten long minutes. Eddie let himself enjoy the feeling of her mouth against his while a gentle drizzle hit his van windows before she finally headed into her house and he sped away towards his mysterious errand. Her best guess that the reason he had never really explained himself was because he was off to do something that was private to his uncle, and she hoped it wasn’t anything health related; Wayne wasn’t exactly old, but he also wasn’t young, and she didn’t like the idea of him having to go through any kind of medical emergency or invasive treatment. And so Friday evening found Dottie at her desk putting the finishing touches on her makeup look, and Eddie on the other side of Hawkins pleading to the stars above his head that his not-yet-girlfriend would understand his weird need for secrecy by the time the night had ended. Hopefully.

“How are you feeling, honey?” James asked, leaning against Dottie’s door frame as she took the last rollers out of her hair and sprayed her curls into place.

“Excited? Honestly a little bit terrified,” she confided in him. “I keep thinking that I’m gonna look around at some point and everyone will have gone home without me.”

“I really don’t think the guys would do that to you, but if they do or you want to leave at any point and for any reason, you can call me, okay? Don’t come home alone.”

“No, I know,” she smiled at him, but it looked more like a nervous grimace than anything else. “I promise I’ll call, I put coins in my purse just in case.”

“Great,” he came to stand behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “But don’t go in there expecting the worst either. Everything’s gonna be great, honey, you’ll see. Just have a little faith.”

“I really hope you’re right this time, Dad.”

For the next few seconds, each of them were lost in their own painful memories from barely a year ago; James vividly remembered sitting down on their old couch with a can of beer in his hand and a rented movie in the VCR before a younger Dottie barrelled through their front door, shoes dangling from her fingers and black mascara streaking down her cheeks, running towards her bedroom where she locked herself into for 12 straight hours. In turn, all Dottie could think about was how she’d never gotten to see the inside of the gymnasium that was supposed to have been transformed into a fairy wonderland. Her Dad squeezed her shoulders with a comforting touch, dislodging the dark thoughts from her mind before dread overtook her and left her paralyzed once more. She picked up her Mom’s wedding earrings from her little jewelry box and quickly put them on, completing her outfit. Dainty gold pieces secured in place at her earlobes, she rose from her chair and twirled once to show off her full look, fluffy dress glinting as she moved.

During their weekend visit to Hawkins, Aunt Mary Elizabeth had put her sewing skills to good use and shortened the floor-length gown until it reached Dottie’s calves, the golden metallic heels they’d gotten at that heaven-sent Indy thrift store perfectly on display on her feet. She felt like a movie star, ready to walk down the red carpet with a handsome date and be adored by her fans, camera flashes blinding her as she glided effortlessly through a crowded room like she’d always belonged there. Except there were no fans, no paparazzi, and no handsome date either, just her Dad helping her into the front seat of their car so they could pick up the first of her friends for what was surely going to be a night to remember.

Their first stop of the night was at Gareth’s house. James hadn’t even put the car into park before the poor boy was jogging down his front lawn, trying to escape his mother who had been obsessively taking pictures of him in his rented black tux and bright red bowtie in various places around their home. Much to Gareth’s dismay, James insisted on saying hello to his parents before they left, so while he chatted amicably with dad Gavriel, Lydia made her son and his best friend pose in front of her bushes as a backdrop to fulfill the role of nosy journalist in Dottie’s movie star dreams. As much as they complained, the two teens hugged each other and smiled for photos until their eyes were wet from the flash going off and it was finally time to wrap up the shoot and head to their next stop.

The scenario repeated itself at Jeff’s house. His mom, Tricia, prompted Dottie to stand between him and Gareth in the middle of the living room, her son’s white suit jacket with black lapels contrasting nicely with his friend’s black jacket and white button up. As the two boys crowded their friend and planted big wet kisses on both of her rosy colored cheeks while the flashes kept going off, their vision for the night started to become clear: Dottie’s red dress, Gareth’s red bowtie and Jeff’s red Chuck Taylors and cummerbund were difficult to not notice, their club colors proudly and prominently on display leaving no doubts as to whom they belonged with. There might not have been a fancy date à la Rob Lowe or Ally Sheedy to walk hand in hand with into the packed Hawkins High gym, but the Hellfire Class of ‘86 didn’t need any of that to face their prom night - they just needed each other. Tricia promised James she’d get copies of all the photos printed for him and so the teens packed once again into the car and drove away to their final destination.

Donny’s family restaurant wasn’t as fancy as Enzo’s, but in their opinion, it was definitely way more charming. With its big sign spelling Giulia’s in cursive and a homely feel that could be experienced since before they had even walked in, big flower boxes decorated the outside and stereotypical checkered tablecloths were visible from the huge front windows. Donny had been waiting for them at one of the booths near the counter, flowers on every table and tea candles setting the mood for all the couples and groups of friends stopping by to have some authentic Italian pizza or pasta before dancing the night away in their heavily decorated school gymnasium.

“Hey, Don! Looking sharp!” James exclaimed from the driver seat when he pulled up to the restaurant as Donny rushed to keep the front door open for his friends.

“Thanks, Mr. Burke!” he beamed, blue eyes twinkling under the streetlights. “You wanna stay over for pizza?”

“No, thank you, you kids have fun, okay?” he turned to his daughter who lingered in the co-pilot seat. “Take care, honey. I love you.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you too,” Dottie said, giving him a big hug.

James was so thankful she’d never gone through an I’m ashamed of showing my parent affection in public phase. He watched how Jeff hurried to catch the door when Donny left his post to greet Dottie, spinning her around once and making her laugh, her anxiety visibly melting as the boys made her feel more cared for and loved than she’d ever thought a friend could make her feel in her life. They all waved James goodbye as he drove away, his eyes glossy at the knowledge that his baby was rapidly growing and would inevitably stop needing him, but also incredibly proud of not only her but Donny, Jeff, and Gareth for being such good people to one another. It almost made him wish they’d moved back to his hometown earlier if it meant he’d see his daughter smile as bright as she did every day now.

“Hey, welcome!” Donny’s dad Angelo shouted from the door to the kitchen, his white apron stained with red sauce and his balding head covered with a stripy black and white bandana. “Thought you had gotten lost on your way over! Everyone likes margherita, right?”

“That the one with anchovies we had last time?” Gareth asked as they seated themselves into the booth, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other guests as they talked loudly over their heads.

“That’s the romana,” Donny said, going through the big beverage fridge at the back of the counter where his older sister Isabella was fiddling with the register. “Margherita is sauce, cheese and basil.”

“Oooooh, I love basil,” Dottie said, caging Jeff between herself and Gareth.

“We’re good with margherita, papà!” Donny placed glass soda bottles for everyone on the table and plopped himself down besides Dottie. “You look really pretty, by the way.”

“Thank you! You clean up nice too,” she smiled at him, and he chuckled shyly, not used to all the attention.

“Angelo, why didn’t you say the kids were here already?” Bianca, Donny’s mom, said coming out from the kitchen carrying pasta dishes for another table.

“They just arrived, cuore mio,” Angelo said, kissing the side of her head as he walked past him before he returned to the kitchen and busied himself with more cooking.

“Let me see you, boys, you’re looking handsome!” Bianca beamed at Gareth and Jeff, the two rowdy teens she’d known since before they could tie their own shoes. “And this is Dorothy, right?”

“Just Dottie is fine, mamma,” Donny corrected his Mom.

“Isn’t she a doll! Donatello said you’re interested in joining us for the summer, is that right?”

“Yes, ma’am, I’d love to work for you,” Dottie said, ignoring how her friends were snickering at the mention of Donny’s full first name.

“Do you have any experience?”

“Not as a waitress, but I was a babysitter back in New York since I was 13. I took a Red Cross course and everything. And I have CPR and First Aid certification if that helps.”

“We’ll talk more after graduation, but job’s yours if you want it,” Bianca said with a kind smile before hurrying over to attend to a customer.

“That was the quickest job interview I’ve ever seen in my life,” Jeff laughed.

“If we’re all gonna have money in our pockets, summer’s gonna be fucking awesome,” said Gareth, and everyone couldn’t help but agree with him.

By the time only pizza crust and empty cups of tiramisù remained on the table, everyone was feeling ready for some good old teenage fun on a sweaty dance floor. At some point during the dinner, Donny’s older sister Isabella had brought out a camera and taken a couple of snapshots of the group, wanting to preserve the memory of her little brother going to his first ever high school dance. Donny was acting like a peacock in his maroon suit with a matching black button up and tie; he’d even gelled his curls back, his stud earring glinting in the candlelight whenever he turned his head. As their classmates started leaving but their group remained behind, Dottie began to worry once again. Where in the world was Eddie, and why hadn’t he shown up yet? When she excused herself to the bathroom to reapply her bright red lipstick in an attempt to hide her nervous breathing, the boys huddled up in the booth, voices dropping to a low mumble, heads close together above the table.

“Where the fuck is he?” Gareth hissed.

“He said he was gonna be late, but this is too much,” Jeff said.

“You think he chickened out?”

“No way,” Donny said, confidently. “He was really excited about the surprise, he wouldn’t flake on us like that.”

“Well, he better show up or I’m beating his ass,” Gareth said. “Dot doesn’t deserve to go through another sucky prom.”

“Fuck, I didn’t even think about her,” Jeff’s eyes went wide. “She’s gonna be devastated if he doesn’t come.”

“He’ll come,” Donny nodded. “He’s not gonna stand her up. Like, if anyone knows how much this means to her, it’s probably Ed. They tell each other everything.”

“Okay, I’m ready to roll,” Dottie said, making their heads snap up at her voice. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah! You wanna get going now or do we wait for a bit longer?” Gareth asked.

“I… I dunno, guys. I don’t think Eddie’s coming,” she said, resigned. Jeff and Donny looked at each other.

“I’m gonna call him,” Donny decided. “You guys wait here.”

He shouldn’t have called, because when he returned to the table and said no one had picked up, the way Dottie’s face fell was enough to make them all feel incredibly guilty about something that wasn’t even their fault. They watched her school her features, masking the disappointment behind a friendly smile while she gathered her purse and slid out of the booth like nothing was bothering her. They said their goodbyes to the Vitale family, nonna Giulia coming out from the back to see her only grandson off (and pinch all their cheeks), and finally headed towards Donny’s car with a false sense of cheeriness but the best intentions at heart. The boys weren’t gonna let anything ruin the night for their friend, insisting on opening doors for Dottie and taking turns to offer her their arms to hold onto. Donny was unlocking his car’s doors when a very familiar brown van pulled up behind him, Eddie spilling out hurriedly without turning it off first.

“Jesus Christ, fuck, I’m so sorry,” he breathed out, jogging to catch up with his friends.

“You jackass, where the hell were you?” Jeff scolded him, but his words lost all edge when he pulled the long haired boy into a side hug.

“I’ll tell you later, but fuck man, I really thought I wasn’t gonna make it,” Eddie laughed, turning to hug Gareth.

“Is Wayne okay?” Dottie asked.

“Yeah, he’s fine, don’t worry about him,” he turned around and felt his soul leave his body when his eyes rested upon her. “I, uh- wow.”

“What’s wrong?” she said, looking down at her dress with a frown.

“Nothing! You- you look really nice,” he couldn’t hide his smile even if he tried, and he didn’t want to.

“Oh. Thank you, you look nice too,” she smiled back.

“Let’s take a picture before we leave now that we’re all here,” Donny said, waving through the window at Isabella, who immediately understood the assignment.

“We should take the camera with us,” Gareth proposed, and Jeff nodded in agreement.

Isabella had a few stern words towards Eddie for being late, but when she made them pose on the street, the light spilling out from the inside of the restaurant illuminating their happy faces, she couldn’t stop a fond expression from gracing her features. Donny hadn’t had an easy time throughout his school years, but it was this group of kids in front of her that had made everything better for him. She remembered the summer barbeques in the backyard with a younger Jeff, that one time Gareth lost a tooth munching too harshly on a cannoli, and that first day Donny brought Eddie over. She had asked her boyfriend (now husband) to help her keep an eye on the older boy throughout his visit, worried about what a junior could possibly want with her little brother. They’d talked about Lord of the Rings and played checkers for hours, and she’d heard Eddie warning a freshman Donny about certain teachers and how to avoid getting on their bad side, which softened her attitude towards the lanky teen considerably.

Truthfully, Isabella wasn’t one to judge quickly, but she had been worried about Dottie when Donny first began dropping her name in conversations at family gatherings. Girls had never been particularly nice to her brother while growing up, and as the eldest Vitale sister, she could be a little overprotective when it came to her siblings, especially towards her only brother. But here Dottie was, huddled up between Gareth and Donny, head resting lightly on her brother’s shoulder to be captured in a picture forever and looking happy about it, and Isabella knew this new addition to the group had been good for everyone. They were all wearing matching formal outfits, for Christ’s sake! After Isabella returned inside and everyone started heading towards Donny’s car again, Eddie grabbed Dottie’s wrist and stopped her from following their friends.

“Hey,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “Ride with me?”

“I, uh…,” she turned to look at the rest of the guys who were waiting for her a few steps ahead.

“I kinda wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“O-okay,” she said, heart sinking into her stomach. “I’m gonna ride with Eddie, guys.”

“Everything okay?” Jeff asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you later,” Eddie said. “Meet us in the parking lot?”

He guided Dottie towards his van with a hand on the small of her back, holding her little gold purse for her as she climbed inside and clicked her seatbelt on, their friends slowly driving away without waiting for them to catch up. Once she was seated and her skirt was out of danger from getting caught in the door, Eddie closed it, jogged to the driver’s side and jumped inside, turning on the van and heading towards Hawkins High School. They stayed quiet for a whole block and when Dottie moved to turn on the radio to fill the awkward silence, he caught her hand in the air and brought it to his lips for a quick peck, the loving gesture helping her relax into her seat.

“I’m sorry I was late,” he said. “I had to do something important and it took me longer than I thought it would.”

His hair was still a little bit damp from his hurried shower, and he was wearing a black button up shirt with the sleeves barely rolled up, his good black jeans without holes in them with the chains on the side, and black boots. Chrissy’s birthday gift was the only pop of color in his all black ensemble, the red tie carefully ironed and knotted at the base of his throat.

“You look really handsome,” Dottie muttered with an airy tone, interlacing their fingers.

“And you look stunning,” he smiled softly, glancing at her before he turned his eyes back to the road. “Kinda took my breath away when I saw you.”

“Was worried you weren’t gonna show up,” she admitted.

“And leave my girl hanging? I’d never,” Eddie said, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand. My girl. She could get used to that. “I should have just told you what I was up to, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“Surprise?”

“Check the glove box,” he said, pointing to it with his chin.

Dottie retrieved her hand from his grasp and opened it as instructed, pulling out two envelopes from the inside: one was white and looked like it contained a letter or a folded piece of paper, the other one was big and brown. She looked at him warily with a million questions in her eyes; he grinned mischievously in return.

“Open the small one first,” Eddie said.

Curiously, she opened the white letter and unfolded the single sheet of paper, finding in her hands a copy of Eddie’s school transcript. At the bottom, written in what she recognized as Ms. Kelly’s handwriting after seeing it for almost six months straight during their check-ins, were Eddie’s final grades for his third senior year. Not quite believing what she was seeing, she read them again and again, the information in front of her eyes staring back at her impassively.

“Stop the van,” she said, her gaze still stuck to the paper.

“What?”

“Fucking pull over, Ed!” she clicked her seatbelt off and threw the papers towards the dashboard, barely waiting until he’d hit the brakes before throwing herself onto him and planting a kiss on his lips.

“Wait, wait-” he laughed loudly, pulling her out of her seat and into his lap, her poofy dress covering his legs.

“I’m so- fucking- proud of you-” Dottie said, kissing him over and over, not caring if her lipstick was transferring onto his skin.

“Yeah? You are?” Eddie asked, giddy. “I had a meeting with Ms. Kelly today,” he began explaining, and she stopped kissing him to hear his story, her hands dropping to his shoulders where she played with his hair as he melted under her touch. “Dropped you off and booked it back to school. Last two times she called me to her office a week before graduation, she told me I wasn’t making it so I kinda shit my pants there for a minute but I knew I did good this time, I could feel it.”

“You did, babe, you did so good,” she grinned at him with hearts in her eyes.

“We did it,” he pressed a noisy kiss to her cheek, making her giggle. “We’re graduating together.”

“Hell yeah we are!” she moved to kiss him again but he dodged her, leaning to the side to get the other envelope from his dashboard.

“Hold on, that was only half of the surprise,” Eddie said, offering the papers back to her. “Open this one next.”

“Is this gonna say you got a full ride to come to Michigan with me or what?” she joked, pulling out the documents. “Oh, a job application! You mentioned this the other day-”

“Turn to the second page.”

“Holy shit! You got it?”

“I got it!”

In her hands, was a copy of his filled out job application and an informal looking contract, but a contract nonetheless. It was missing Eddie’s signature at the bottom, but that was merely a formality: she was looking at Thatcher Tires’ newest employee, with his starting date stamped as Monday, June 16th, the day after graduation weekend. It was only a part-time apprentice position, but it came with the promise of being promoted to assistant and eventually to full-time if he did well, and it was so much more than anyone else had been willing to give to Eddie before. Dottie looked at him with wet eyes and so much love inside her she didn’t know what to do except scoop him into her arms and squeeze him tightly against her chest like she never wanted to let go, lest he thought she wasn’t as equally over the moon about the news as he was.

“I’m just… fuck, Ed, this is huge,” she pressed her nose to his neck and he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in deeply.

“I know. It feels huge,” he chuckled. “Never thought I’d graduate and get a real job, y’know. Wayne cried when I told him.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“Yeah,” he sniffed. “I decided I’m not gonna deal anymore either. I’m just selling what I have left now and then I’m done with that shit. Forever. I… I wanna be good for you, darling. I wanna be the kinda man you deserve.”

“Ed, you don’t have to change who you are for me,” she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him, her hands coming to hold the sides of his face tenderly. “I fell in love with you like this, I’m not gonna change my mind all of a sudden. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you had to be anything different than who you are, I-”

“No, no, that’s not it,” he said quickly, hands settling on her waist. “I’m just… You deserve a good man, Dot, and I wanna be that. I wanna be a good man. I- I just didn’t think I could be good before, y’know? Everyone’s always talking about how I’m so fuckin’ stupid, and how I’d never do shit with my life, and I guess at some point I started believing they were right, and- I dunno. I don’t wanna be useless and I don’t wanna end up in jail with my asshole Dad like everyone in this shit town thinks I will. And- and when I met you and you were all like you’re really smart, Eddie, you’re just lazy, you were right, darling, you were so fuckin’ right. You always are,” he was looking at her with so much intensity she had to close her eyes and lean forward, their foreheads resting against each other’s. “I wanna look at myself in a mirror and see what you see. I wanna be good.”

“You are,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his nose. “You are so good, Eddie. You are the best thing in this whole town and I love you so much.”

“Say that again, please.”

“I love you.”

“One more time?”

“I love you, Edward Munson,” Dottie kissed him sweetly. “I love you.”

“Shit,” he grinned. “You really love me.”

“Of course I do.”

“I love you too, baby. So, so much.”

They stayed like that for a few seconds, Dottie sitting on his lap, her thighs bracketing his, his thumbs rubbing circles on her sides and her hands cupping the sides of his jaw, noses pressed together. They didn’t kiss, because it didn’t seem enough to express what they were feeling right at that moment. It almost felt childish to do so, like kissing was something they usually did for fun and the real intimacy came from just existing in the same space, breathing the same air, feeling each other’s warmth under their hands and just how alive the other felt when skin was pressed against skin. A truck full of rowdy classmates that were clearly somewhat inebriated sped down the street, the loud music coming from their speakers breaking their fairytale bubble and bringing them back to real life. With a shy smile, Dottie collected all the documents strewn around them before moving back to her seat and clicking her seatbelt back on while Eddie tried to wipe her lipstick from his face with a tissue he’d stolen from her purse and water from an old plastic bottle. Once she’d reapplied her makeup and he was sufficiently clean so as not to raise suspicions, Eddie pulled back into the road towards the school, holding Dottie’s hand in his for just a few more minutes.

“You know what I realized the other day?” he said, stopping at a red light. “I didn’t used to be scared of jail when Chief Hopper was still around.”

“Really? Why not?”

“Because Hopper didn’t give two shits about me selling. He busted me a couple of times, gave me a talking to and dropped me off back home. I think he knew I was just doing it ‘cause we needed the money, I wasn’t gonna become a career criminal or some shit like that. He was cool.”

“And the new chief isn’t?”

“Powell’s useless,” Eddie scoffed. “He’s still trying to convince everyone he has what it takes to be like Hopper and no one believes he’s got it. And Callahan is a fucking moron. You know those handcuffs I’ve got in my bedroom?”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get those in a magician’s kit,” Dottie joked.

“They’re Callahan’s,” he grinned. “He caught me buying when I was like 15, put the cuffs on me and everything. Took me to the station and when Hopper saw me at his desk, he turned around and called him a drama queen, told him he was “wasting police resources” over nothing. It was awesome. I swiped the cuffs before Hopper took me home. Wayne wasn’t too happy about it though, he grounded me for like a month but I thought it was worth it.”

“So you stole a police officer’s cuffs? And just… hung them in your bedroom like they were a dreamcatcher?”

“Yeah, pretty much. At first I kept them ‘cause I thought they made me look badass,” he turned into another street, their final stop looming closer and closer. “Now I look at them and kinda get chills. I think Wayne would die if he saw me in those but for real this time. Like, I think he’d actually have a heart attack or something. Can’t do that to my old man, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“And Hopper didn’t know you took them?”

“He absolutely did, he just didn’t care,” Eddie laughed. “As far as cops go, Hopper was pretty cool. He actually gave a shit about us when it really mattered. I mean, yeah, he could still be an asshole when he wanted to, all cops are, but he was pretty chill most of the time. Kept to himself a lot. It kinda pissed me off how everyone started pretending like he was their best friend after he died.”

“Nancy told me he saved people in the Starcourt Mall fire.”

“Yeah. A true American hero: Vietnam war vet, died heroically saving children from a fire during the Fourth of July… doesn’t get more patriotic than that.”

“You said Dustin and Mike were there, right?”

“Yeah. And Erica.”

“What?”

“They were all in the cinema, I think. Dunno much about it, the kids never talk about what happened. Just know they were there ‘cause they mentioned it on the news. Nancy was there too, she didn’t tell you?”

“Oh,” Dottie said, like something had clicked in her head. “Well, that makes more sense now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought it was weird that Nancy’s boyfriend’s mom just, like, adopted the Chief’s daughter after he passed away, but it makes sense. They must have been friends.”

“What are you talking about?” It was Eddie’s turn to be surprised.

“Nancy’s dating a guy named Jonathan-”

“Yes, Jonathan Byers. I know him. Fellow weirdo,” he raised an eyebrow pointedly.

“Well, his mom adopted Hopper’s daughter before they moved to California last year. She’s dating Mike, he told us about her, remember?” Dottie explained. “So she must have been in there with Mike and their friends if Nancy and Jonathan were there too.”

“Hopper didn’t have a daughter. I mean, he did have one but she died when she was a kid,” Eddie said.

“Nancy said he didn’t know he had a daughter until recently, maybe her Mom passed away or something and she left her with him. She was here all summer with Mike and Dustin, she’s really pretty!”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“They showed me a picture! She’s taller than I expected, has brown hair, brown eyes. Looks a little bit like an elf actually, she has, like, sharp cheekbones?” Dottie pointed to her own round cheeks that looked nothing like the girl’s face on a Polaroid currently stuck to the inside of Dustin’s locker.

“Well, damn,” he chuckled. “Look at Wheeler go, totally thought he was lying about that one. Hey, uh, did Nancy tell you anything about the Byers?”

“About Jonathan, mostly. I know he has a brother that’s friends with Mike and Dustin too.”

“Will.”

“I think so, can’t remember his name. I know Mike’s girlfriend is named Jane though.”

“So she didn’t tell you about all the weird shit that happened a few years ago, huh?” Eddie eyed her curiously as he pulled into the school’s street, the building waiting for them just a few blocks further.

“Define weird shit for me, please.”

“This town is fucking cursed, babe. That Will kid went missing in the woods and then the feds found a random body in the quarry and thought it was him. Everyone thought Mrs. Byers was insane because she kept saying that the body wasn’t Will, but she was right - Hopper found him alive a few days later. It was a huge mess, like, they had held a funeral and everything and now the kid is back like nothing happened?” Eddie shook his head in disbelief. “I thought maybe Nancy would have told you because around that same time, everyone thought this girl named Barb that was best friends with her had run away but actually she died from getting exposed to some weird chemicals from that lab in the middle of the woods where Will went missing and there was a whole conspiracy to cover it up. And also y’know, the fire thing last year.”

“Those are like a lot of strange as fuck things to have happened in such a short span of time,” Dottie frowned.

“I know, right? And Mike and Dustin are always in the middle of it somehow. Must suck.”

“Poor kids,” she said, sadly. “It’s probably hard for them to deal with all that and have to pretend everything’s normal.”

“People get crazy good at hiding things they’ve been through, especially when they were fucked up,” he shrugged.

Eddie finally pulled into the school’s parking lot, quickly locating Donny’s car and their friends standing around waiting for them. He honked the horn twice to call their attention and they waved at him to hurry up. Dottie looked at the boys through the windshield and thought about what Eddie had just said. He was right and she knew this because she’d gotten pretty good at pretending things were okay when they weren’t, not looking for pity or compassion because she’d simply assumed others would judge her for it. Being around Eddie had helped her open up, but there were some secrets that were buried too deep to unearth so casually, particularly when they filled her with shame. But maybe it was about time she stopped doing that. Maybe she owed it not only to her friends, but to herself, to stop feeling sorry for something that had been out of her control and such a special night seemed like the perfect moment to tell them the things that had been eating her from the inside out for a year now. But for now, Eddie was offering her his hand to help her get out of his van, and her friends were grinning at her like the cat that got the cream, so the truth would have to wait until later. There was a prom to attend first, and she was determined to enjoy this one to the fullest.

Gareth Coleman had never been known to be particularly patient about anything throughout his goddamn life. He was always eager to spill the beans, and he always wanted to spill them now, so the fact that he’d managed to keep this specific secret for almost a week had been impressive. Him, Jeff, and Donny had discussed Eddie’s weird behavior while on their way to the school, and they were all equally curious as to what was taking him and Dottie so long to arrive. Donny had already smoked a cig and Jeff had checked the bag in the backseat thrice by the time those two finally rejoined the group, looking a little bit suspicious and plenty cozy with one another. The boys didn’t have too much time to ponder on why though, because immediately upon arrival Eddie revealed that the reason he’d been late for dinner and why he’d stolen Dottie away for a private chat, was that he’d seen Ms. Kelly after school and had gotten confirmation that he’d finally be graduating high school with his friends. Hellfire Class of ‘86, baby, he’d said, pulling his friends into a huddle as they cheered and hollered at what was probably the most anticipated piece of news they’d gotten in a long time. However, Gareth was still impatient as ever, so he quickly peeled away from the group hug and dove into Donny’s car to retrieve their final surprise of the night and keep emotions running high.

“Since we’re all here and in a good fuckin’ mood,” he began saying, making everyone turn to him. “We have something for you, Dot.”

“For me? What did I do?”

“Well, it wouldn’t really be prom if you didn’t have one of these, so… here you go,” he pulled a white box from inside the bag and extended it to her; she accepted it curiously before peering inside.

“Wow, this is…,” she said, taken aback. “You guys! You didn’t have to buy anything for me!”

“Yes, we did,” Jeff said, moving forward to help her get her surprise out of the box.

In his hands, he held a very special corsage they’d all pitched in to buy for her since she didn’t have a formal date to the event to get it for her. The flowers were bright red, with the ribbon in black and gold; he slid it over her fingers until it sat prettily on her left wrist, her eyes filling with heartfelt tears at their thoughtful gesture. She didn’t have time to thank them, however, because soon enough Gareth was pulling smaller boxes from the bag and giving one to each of his friends.

“Could you help us with these?” Donny smiled, opening his box for her to see what he was holding.

Each of them had gotten themselves a boutonniere, two different styles but all in matching colors. Jeff and Eddie had chosen red flowers with black and gold ribbon much like her corsage, but Gareth and Donny had white flowers with red and gold ribbon. Between wet laughs, she pinned all decorations to their chests, wondering how she’d gotten so lucky to have these four men in her life who were all so eager to make every moment count when it mattered the most. Dottie tucked herself between Eddie and Jeff, and Donny turned his sister’s borrowed camera towards the group, blindly taking a picture and hoping he hadn’t accidentally cut any heads out of it. After checking on each other for the final time, the five teens turned towards the gymnasium doors and headed inside to get the party started.

The Hellfire Class of ‘86’s big entrance had been something to behold. No one had really been expecting the freaks to show up, much less dressed to the nines and arm in arm with that one girl that had moved to Hawkins a few months ago right in the middle of the school year, but there they were, and they demanded to be seen. Their matching outfits made them stand out in a sea of bold colors, pastels, and satin fabrics, but the fact that they moved like a cohesive unit anywhere they went was weirdly fascinating. First, they headed to get their picture taken and the photographer had been happy to capture what looked to be a healthy group of friends instead of awkward looking couples that would probably not make it anywhere further than a few months beyond graduation. Then, they lingered at a corner of the refreshments table when Chrissy Cunningham excitedly greeted them and chatted with them for a few long minutes, gushing over Dottie’s vintage dress who in turn couldn’t stop telling the blonde how beautiful she looked in her baby pink gown.

It was silly, really, how the most non-conformist friend group in Hawkins High had found some sort of genuine amusement in participating in what was probably the most stereotypical event in the life of any high school student, but they’d long ago stopped trying to explain themselves to others. Prom to them was a celebration of their friendship, a culmination of four shitty years (or six, in Eddie’s case), and the hope of a better future that felt as equally glorious as every moment spent together. They sipped on cheap vodka from a hip flask Gareth had smuggled in, they pestered the DJ to play Black Sabbath, Metallica, or even some Mötley Crüe to no avail, and they danced in a circle until their feet hurt. Dottie excused herself for a bit to dance with Chrissy to a Queen song, and then she’d stolen Nancy away from her friends for a few minutes, but she stayed pretty close to her boys all night, and in turn, they never left her alone. She’d been twirling around the dance floor with Jeff while Gareth escaped to the bathroom for a couple of minutes when Donny came to stand next to Eddie, who was watching her from the side with the most lovesick expression on his face known to man.

“Might wanna be less obvious with the staring there,” Donny nudged him goodnaturedly. “People are gonna notice you’re drooling.”

“Don’t really care if anyone sees me,” Eddie admitted. “Now that we’re all getting out of here I’m gonna ask her to be my girlfriend, so I don’t give a shit about what this lame ass school thinks about me anymore.”

“Damn, good luck, man,” he looked at him, impressed. “I mean, she’s totally gonna say yes but still, good luck.”

“Thanks, Don. You’re a good friend, you know that, right?”

“Been told once or twice but it’s always good to hear.”

“I should tell you more often,” Eddie smiled. “We’re all best friends, but… I dunno. I feel like you always got me the most.”

“Always thought you got me the most, actually,” Donny said, smiling back at him.

“Hey, Eddie!” Chrissy called, hurrying towards him all giggly and secretive. “We're up next!”

“Shit, already?”

“What’s going on?” Donny asked, looking at the blonde.

“I'm his Best Man," she said, like that explained everything before grabbing Eddie's hand and pulling him towards the dance floor.

Without having to squint too much, the gymnasium didn't look like the sweaty room the majority of the school's populace hated with a passion anymore. Chrissy and her fellow Prom Committee members had worked really hard to turn it into a different place, from the red carpet and fairy lights at the entrance to the golden streamers obscuring the bleachers to the sides, all the way to the myriad of rented mirror balls hanging from the ceiling; everything came together to create a portal to a world where Hawkins’ senior class could pretend like they were movie stars for a night. The theme was perfectly captured in the décor, and Eddie found it very fitting that the Hellfire Club's colors matched it so well - it made everything that much more special and movielike than they had intended when they agreed to display their club’s allegiance so blatantly.

Chrissy maneuvered them past several people towards where Jeff and Dottie danced to Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus, immediately joining in and not caring that classmates around them were looking at her like she'd grown two heads. She had worked her ass off so everyone could have a wonderful night and if she wanted to dance with the freaks, she felt like had rightfully earned her prize. After all, Eddie had said she was a freak too once and she took it to heart, considering it might as well have been the biggest compliment she had ever received in her 18 years on planet Earth. Jeff was still wary of Chrissy, not having had a full conversation with her in all four years of high school but he knew Eddie thought of her as a friend, and Dottie seemed to like her as well so he followed their lead and danced along with her, making both girls spin at the same time in tune with the song.

"Are you having fun?" Chrissy asked Dottie, holding onto her hands.

"So much fun! I voted for you, by the way."

"You did?! Oh my god, thank you!" the blonde beamed at her. "I'm so nervous, I hope I get it!"

"Are you kidding me? We all voted for you, you're totally gonna win," Dottie said with honesty, because there was no other way the night could end without Chrissy Cunningham winning Prom Queen.

"Don't jinx it!" she laughed, as the final notes of Rock Me Amadeus played out.

"Alright, alright, Hawkins High! Is everyone having fun?" the DJ asked over the music; everyone cheered in response. "Let's slow it down a little bit, shall we? This one's for the lovers in the room, but remember to leave space for Jesus in the middle, okay? Don’t want any teachers getting upset."

Dottie laughed at the DJ’s silly joke while the next song began, head whipping around to find Eddie who was already turned towards her and, dare she say, looking mighty sheepish. Oh, darling, please believe me, crooned Paul McCartney as the dancefloor became a little bit less crowded and couples began partnering up to share a sweet moment with one another. Eddie offered his hand to her and Dottie looked at their friends before taking it, but there was no need - Chrissy was fulfilling her Best Man duty to perfection, already swaying away from them with her hands on Jeff's shoulders. He looked mighty confused as to why a pretty cheerleader was slow dancing with him instead of going to find her jock boyfriend, but he was enjoying the small talk about what colleges they'd attend after graduation and Chrissy seemed to be having fun too so beggars couldn't really be choosers. Dottie let herself be pulled closer to Eddie and he held her in a way that didn't look entirely platonic, but they both silently agreed that they’d deal with whatever teasing they could get in the future. Right now, being in her not-yet-boyfriend’s arms while The Beatles played in the background was probably one of the happiest moments of Dottie’s life and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could without overthinking it.

"Got any other surprises up your sleeve I should prepare myself for?" Dottie asked, eyes shining under the disco balls.

"This was the last one for tonight, I promise," he said, fighting the urge to cradle her head into his chest; Mrs. O'Donnell was standing to a side looking for students who didn't leave space for Jesus and he didn’t want to risk it. "How are you feeling, princess?"

"Like this is the best prom I could have asked for."

"Yeah? Is it how you dreamed it would be?"

"It’s so much better. I'm lucky enough to be dancing with the prettiest boy in the room, what more could I ask for?" she smiled.

"Don't know, I'm dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room so I'm feeling pretty lucky too," he smiled back at her, his dimples on display.

“God we’re corny. How did you get the DJ to play our song?”

“I thought our song was Hot Patootie.”

“We have multiple. Answer the question, Munson, Donny and I asked him to play some Bruce Springsteen earlier and he said no.”

“I have friends in high places,” Eddie said cryptically, but undermined the mystery by looking at Chrissy who was laughing at something Jeff had said.

“You totally told her about us, didn’t you?” Dottie asked, but her grin told him she wasn’t mad about it.

“She’s gonna be my Best Man, I had to,” he shrugged, making her snort and shake her head.

“Already thinking about the wedding and he hasn’t even asked me out yet. You’re getting awfully cocky,” she raised an eyebrow, and he had the decency to look shy about it.

“I’m working on it, darling. Just give me time to make it special.”

Eddie pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear as they danced, not realizing that both Donny and Gareth were watching the pair like hawks, smirking at how obvious their affection was in a sea of couples that ranged from uncomfortable to loving. They, however, looked downright sickening, like they had been plucked from a cheesy coming of age movie where the two leads finally came to terms with the fact that all they’d ever wanted had been right in front of them all along.

“He’s totally head over heels for her, isn’t he,” Gareth said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Absolutely,” Donny said, taking a sip of his spiked fruit punch. “But she’s not far behind either.”

“Yeah,” the wild curly haired boy turned to look at his friend. “Wanna bet on how long it’ll take for them to get together?”

“I say twenty for graduation day.”

Nearing the end of prom night, their feet hurt from standing for so long and they were all starving for some salty junk food. Chrissy had, of course, ended up winning Prom Queen; Hellfire had cheered for her extra loud which hadn’t made the basketball team very happy but they couldn’t retaliate when there were so many teachers around. Besides, Andy’s eye was still very much purple and no one wanted to be sporting a face injury in their graduation photos. Jason Carver had won Prom King too, but much to his dismay, rumor had it that he’d barely beaten the football team’s captain for the title. Nonetheless, the newly crowned couple was dancing in the middle of the gym surrounded by other partnered up classmates when Eddie proposed what was probably the best plan of the night: leaving early and going to get fries and milkshakes at a cheap diner.

Dottie went in the car with Donny and Gareth this time, trying to avoid alerting their friends to her and Eddie’s blossoming relationship anymore than they’d already had, and the teens spent the entire ride gossiping about things they’d noticed had happened during the event, like how this girl from the swimming team had very publicly broken up with her boyfriend in front of everyone or how their History teacher had been dancing with the pretty Science teacher every freshman (namely, Dustin Henderson) had a crush on. When they arrived at the diner, Eddie opened the doors of his van and they sat in the parking lot to eat their fries and share various flavors of milkshakes, debating on which one was better. The boys were rowdy as they always were, Gareth fighting hard for peanut butter versus Jeff’s chocolate and Donny’s orange creamsicle, when Eddie went to grab more fries from the basket he was sharing with Dottie and noticed she was staring at her corsage, a blank expression on her face.

“Hey,” he said softly, trying not to startle her by rubbing the back of her hand with his pinky finger. “You okay? Wanna go home?”

“No, I’m okay. Just thinking.”

“Wanna tell me? I’m a good listener.”

“I know you are,” Dottie afforded him half a smile. “I… there was something I wanted to tell you but don’t wanna bring the mood down.”

“Uh-oh,” he pouted dramatically. “Am I in trouble already?”

“Shut up,” she shoved him lightly. “No, it’s just… it’s about New York and- I don’t know, we’re having such a fun time. Feels like I’m gonna fuck it up. It’s fine, I can tell you guys some other time.”

“Tell us what?” Jeff asked, making her notice that all the boys were quietly looking at her.

“You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to,” Gareth hurried to say. “-but we’re always down to hear you if you wanna, like, get something off your chest or whatever.”

“Yeah! You’re not fucking anything up, we’re just talking,” Donny said.

Dottie looked around at her friends who were waiting to follow her lead whatever that may be and knew that if she was ever going to say anything, then this was it. This was the moment where she let them all in, where she let them see just how truly damaged she was, and they’d have to decide whether this baggage was something they wanted to help her with or if it was too much for them to handle. Eddie’s ringed hand sneaked behind her, caressing her spine back and forth on top of her dress for support. She took a deep breath and set the basket of fries to the side.

“I, uh- you know how I said my junior prom sucked and that’s why I kinda didn’t wanna come tonight before we made plans?” she began, and they all nodded. “So, there’s actually a pretty big reason for that.”

“You said you didn’t have a date for junior prom and you felt bad so you didn’t go. That’s why I said we should all go together,” Gareth said, making the other teens turn to him in surprise. He clearly knew more about it than they all did and he hadn’t said anything.

“I lied. I did go and I did have a date. I had a boyfriend actually,” she said grimly.

“Oh.”

“How long did you date that guy?” Donny asked, sparing a glance at Eddie who was staring at her nervous hands playing with her Mom’s engagement and wedding rings, spinning them around her left middle finger.

“Around six months. His name was Tyler, we went to school together. He was… nice, I guess? I really liked him,” she muttered. “And like, not to overshare but he was my first real kiss, you know? My first everything. And he made me feel special for a while.”

“What happened?” Jeff asked, frowning and shifting closer, his hand coming to rest on her ankle.

“We went to prom together. Flynn, his older brother, took us and the whole ride was so awkward because he kept trying to talk to Tyler and he would just stare ahead, like he was angry or something. He wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Flynn or Tyler wouldn’t look?”

“Tyler. Actually, Flynn was pretty awesome, best older brother ever. He was pre-med, just… a really cool guy. Kinda miss him, he was fun to be around. He had wild stories about college, but not like drunk wild, just general weird things that happened around campus,” Dottie smiled, remembering the nice older guy that gave her advice on how to apply to colleges.

“He sounds nice,” Donny said.

“He was! Honestly, I think the best part about dating Tyler was that I could hang out with Flynn a lot.”

“So… what happened at prom?” Donny prompted her to continue.

“Um, Flynn dropped us off and Tyler said he wanted to talk before we went in. I thought he was nervous, y’know? I mean, I was nervous too. But he basically said he didn’t wanna date me anymore because he was gonna go to this science whatever camp during summer, and we were gonna be so far away and he just couldn’t deal with long distance so it was over.”

“What?” Eddie’s eyebrows raised on his forehead until they were hidden completely by his bangs. He was prepared to wait for her all four years of college and this fucking guy couldn’t handle being two months apart? “That’s such bullshit!”

“That’s what I said!” she exclaimed, getting angry again at the memory. “But then he said that he didn’t like me anymore because I didn’t put in any effort, and that other girls got pretty for their boyfriends and- and that hurt because he knew that I hadn’t been able to get a dress I liked for prom, so a friend’s sister let me borrow an old one from her.”

“What a fucking douchebag,” Gareth said, scoffing. “You always look pretty, what was his deal?”

“Wish I didn’t know, but, um, that one hurt way more when I found out,” she said, tears starting to form along her waterline. “Because I obviously went home after that, right? He didn’t want me there, and I didn’t want to be there either, so I got on the first bus I saw and that was it. I didn’t show up for the final week of school, and then I went to see my grandparents and stayed away from everyone all summer.”

“What about your friends?” Jeff asked.

“My Dad returned the dress for me and I called Tracey to say thank you, and that was it. She didn’t ask about what happened and no one else called.”

“You mean that no one cared you went missing for months?” Eddie’s face dropped.

“That’s kinda how summers were like for me in New York anyway,” she admitted, and he moved his hand from her back to her hip to bring her closer to him and into a side hug. “I was sure that everyone knew and that’s why no one called. Like, what would they even say? It would have been so awkward. But then school started again and I found out what happened during the holidays and everything made sense.”

“Why? What happened?” Gareth frowned. “What did they do while you were gone?”

“Tyler went to his dumb summer camp two weeks after school ended and got together with my friend Jeannie,” Dottie said, fat drops finally falling from her eyes. “God, why am I still crying about it? I don’t even care about them anymore, I’m pathetic.”

“Fuck that! You’re not pathetic, they are!” Jeff exclaimed, gripping her ankle tighter to get to look up from her hands. “What a bitch, how could she do that to you?”

“Okay, I’m gonna kill both of them,” Gareth deadpanned. “We should totally kill both of them, right, guys?”

“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” Donny said, shifting closer until he was on Dottie’s other side, squishing her between himself and Eddie. “Do you want us to kill them? Because you know we would. I’ll bring the shovel, Eddie has the van, we can make it happen. Just say the word and we’ll be there.”

“I know you would,” she managed to chuckle through the tears. “It’s fine, I just… I never really told anyone this other than my Dad. The only reason my family knows is because he had to explain to everyone why I was locking myself in my room to cry all the time and wouldn’t leave home. I worried everyone a lot those days.”

“You were keeping this one really close to the chest, huh?” Eddie said, things clicking into place for him. Her sudden desperation when he mentioned Chrissy’s name mid freakout, her willingness to hide her own heartbreak if it meant they’d still be friends, the way she kept to herself all those months before she joined them. “Can I ask… did someone tell them anything? Did your other friends know?”

“They all knew. Tracey and Benji said they were sorry but that was kinda it. And all of them sat during lunch with Jeannie, who kept bringing Tyler over to our table and literally fucking sitting on him every day so I had no friends for six months except for Mrs. Randall.”

“Who’s Mrs. Randall?” Eddie asked, vaguely aware that he’d seen that very same name signed at the front of her well-loved Anne of Green Gables copy.

“The school’s librarian. I had lunch with her every day and she helped me write the essay I sent to UMich. She’s awesome, honestly. Dunno what I would have done without her.”

“I’m so sorry you went through all that,” Jeff said. “You didn’t deserve it, and I’m glad you aren’t friends with those assholes anymore.”

“Yeah! You have us now!” Gareth smiled, throwing himself over Eddie’s legs to join in on the hugging party. “We played D&D together which means we’re bonded for life. Can’t get rid of us anymore.”

“He’s right, princess,” Eddie added, hand coming up to brush her tears away. “It’s in the Player’s Handbook. You signed a blood contract.”

“I love you,” she said, looking at him earnestly before turning to her other boys. “I love all of you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything before, it was just so embarrassing to admit and I didn’t want you to know I’m the biggest loser on Earth and decide you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“You’re not a loser,” Donny said. “And those people weren’t your real friends, they were shitheads. That’s not on you, Dot. And we love you too, or else we wouldn’t be wearing suits right now.”

“Everything you guys did today… thank you. I’m gonna remember this forever, you have no idea how much it means to me.”

“We know,” Gareth said, looking at all his friends. “That’s why we did it.”

In the back of Eddie’s van, with the doors open to the empty parking lot waiting to be filled with teens looking for a snack, Dottie shed yet another layer of fear and anxiety. The air smelled vaguely of weed and fries, their forgotten milkshakes sweating rings onto the hard floor, but no one made a move to get themselves out of the puppy pile they had sunk into, five sets of legs and arms tangled with one another and the calm understanding that physical comfort was something they all needed at that moment. They had all been outcasts, freaks, easily disposable and replaceable throughout their lives, but here, in this van, they were invaluable and unique. Here the Hellfire Class of ‘86 was home, and there was nothing in the world that could convince them otherwise. Here they belonged, and birds of a feather flock together after all.

taglist (comment below or send me an ask if you wanna be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean @every1lovesanunderdog @eg-dr3amer3

[buckyarchives]

we’re not really strangers | S. Stan [1.]

summary: a broken and washed up writer keeps showing up in Sebastian life as he struggles with his own loneliness. two people in two different world, but the tug is so intense it begins to eat Sebastian raw. he has to learn to love full heartedly and you need to learn to trust again after you got cheated out of your entire life.

word count : 4.9k

warnings: topics of depression, brief mentions of sewerslide, body dysmorphia

author note: i’ve never wrote an rpf and i used to dislike them but i just read a really good one and i watched doll eyes so that started this. i’m basing sebastian’s character based off of psychoanalysis him over that past 4 years (i can’t help it i’m sorry) and the couple of times i’ve met him. but i hope he’s not this depressed irl. take a place a before fresh and it’s mostly his pov. will probably be like 3-5 chapters. also wrote this in like 2 hours please be kind

masterlist | read on AO3

Sebastian stan likes blondes, he likes coffee after noon, working out, his mom, space and all its possibilities. He likes European countries yet he won't leave New York no matter how hard he thinks about it. He loves his family and friends. He likes when people tell him good job and are nice to him; even if it’s only because he's Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes he wonders if he really likes that last one or if he hates it, it depends on the day.

He will spend his days reading and talking with actors or directors, getting flowers for his girlfriend of the season. He doesn't read reviews about his movies. He’ll talk to his mom on the phone as often as he can, he works out almost every morning but he hates running. He stands in front of a mirror before going to bed, alone and vulnerable, picking apart everything he sees and wonders if everyone else sees it too. Probably.

But not tonight.

No, tonight he feels good - better. Recently casted for a new movie, a movie with a script and a director he feels confident about, which is always the best feeling. Last year was good for him, but this year needs to be better. Sebastian is tired and needs to get away from commercial movies and Marvel, but Bucky Barnes will always haunt over his shoulders like the way Carter Baizen did for so long.

And tonight is only the beginning. They haven't started filming yet, not close. Daisy is in the middle of filming and it's still early, too much workshopping and bonding as a team before that. Sebastian likes to know who he's working with, the director and their work ethic and past projects. The co-stars and their humor and if they can cry on command or not.

Mimi is a nice director. She's new and has fresh ideas - ha, that's a pun. She makes Sebastian laugh and not feel like a character even off-screen. Sebastian likes her curly hair.

She laughs and the air is cool, Sebastian can see her breath. “It was a nice day, I'm really looking forward to working with you.”

Sebastian is lonely and this feel like a nice way to segway to ‘i have to leave, goodnight.’

“Me too, and the script is just - wow.” Sebastian exaggerates his words to match his feelings, “it's deep.”

He wants to hold onto the conversation forever and drag it out until it's so awkward he has to grit his teeth. Sebastian doesn't want to go home now - but it's late, past midnight - and despite the rumors, New York does have to sleep sometimes. His stomach grumbles and he suddenly has the appetite of a teengers first hangover.

Mimi nods and thanks him and they continue to walk. Sebastian speaks up, “is it weird to say iI'mhungry and not tired.” he looks down at his watch again, it's almost 2 am.

And Mimi understands, she smiles. “Not weird, I agree. It might be the excitement for this project but – what are you hungry for?”

“Coffee, breakfast food,” Sebastian replies honestly.

The director smiles, Sebastian hopes there are no paparazzi - this looks like a date - no, it doesn’t but the press latch onto any woman he's seen with as a date.

“I know a perfect place, and it is empty,” she says. Sebastian is suspicious - it's late, he repeats in his head.

“This late?” his eyebrows quirked up.

“I know the owner,” she affirms. Sebastian nodded and they continued walking.

Mimi talks about the movie more, how she's close friends with the writer and coincidentally, she met her through the owner of the said cafe they'd soon find a safe haven in. Sebastian nods along to her words and listens, he hates the sound of his own voice sometimes. Listening is nice.

They reach a cafe-deli type. The sign says it is closed and no one is inside but the lights are on. Mimi had a grin on her face as she knocks on the door. Sebastian watched as you came from the back and unlocked the door, Mimi smiles and greets you excitedly but your face remains monotone - almost cold. Mimi takes no offense, this must be how you always are.

You don't take immediate notice of Sebastian, which is nice for once. Mimi talks about how starved she is and desperately needs an egg sandwich from you, Sebastian agrees in his head. You hold your head high and strong like you know better, but not in a snobby way. Sebastian can tell when someone is snobby pretty soon on, people like that end up surrounding him more often than not, unfortunately.

Sebastian's eyes are an icy blue that reminds you of the winter lakes back in the midwest. That’s the first thing you notice, Mimi acts like this is her home as she plops down at the bar. You still don't say anything. Sebastian wonders if you're a writer too, or maybe an actor. He doesn’t recognize you. Sebastian sits next to mimi, he feels weirdly comfortable despite how cold and empty the cafe is.

The sound of an espresso machine starts before Mimi can even order sometimes, she must go a lot and then a coffee is in front of her in no time. You finally turn to him, you're wearing lipgloss, and he notices way too quickly.

“Would you like a coffee, Sebastian?” you ask him plainly. He didn't tell you his name, neither did Mimi. You must know him then, it wouldn't be surprising but weirdly it did.

“Yeah, anything you have. And eggs - sunny side up if you can.” you don’t reply, nodding and your mouth is thin-lipped. Not a smile nor a frown. You leave in the back, Sebastian doesn’t realize his eyebrows were furrowed until Mimi says something.

“Don't worry, she's always like that. I promise she's not miserable or mean.” mimi says, gesturing to the cold demeanor that you carry. Sebastian wonders if Mimi has to explain this to everyone, or if you hate the Captain America movies and mimi just want to make it less awkward.

It's a comfortable silence for a while, aside from the city whispering from behind the glass windows and the sound of your cooking. Sebastian catches glimpses of your face and he can't help but think you're beautiful in a stone-cold, greek statue, model type way. He can imagine seeing your face in a famous painting from the renaissance time.

Maybe you caught him staring, or maybe it was just the cold demeanor again but he swore you glared at him.

“Cooks out - so it might not be as good as usual,” you say and place the food in front of them. Mimi grins and begins to eat. Sebastian pulls out his billfold to pay, he doesn't know you and feels a twang of guilt at the thought of keeping you up past closing time. He wants to pay extra.

You notice him before he can pull out any money, “it's on the house.”

Sebastian thinks of that as a sign that you don't hate him, and you're just monotone.

“Y/N helped Lauryn write the movie, specifically your character too.” Mimimumbled through cheese and bacon.

That’s the first time he's heard your name, Sebastian repeats it in his head so as to not forget.

You scoff and Sebastian thinks for a moment you're mad, you're not. “Helped? I practically gave her the entire idea. And I swear, Mimi if you don't use La jardin for the dance scene, I'll riot in front of your house.”

“You get so defensive every time, but whenever we ask to add you as co writers you say no.” Mimi snarks, shaking her head and smiling. “Mysterious, mysterious girl.”

“Can't say I imagined Sebastian Stan as Steve though, I was thinking more of Chris Pine.” you joke, Mimi knows you're joking but your flat tone makes Sebastian second guess if you are actually upset about it or not. “was he busy?”

Mimi laughs, good - a joke.

“Not even a second choice?” Sebastian smiles sheepishly, he hopes you were joking.

Sebastian thinks you're going to smile, and your lip twitches. You hum and it sounds as smooth as the coffee tastes, like honey. “Maybe third.”

Your eyes warm in his direction, the feeling in his chest is foreign.

“You’re a better critic than you are a casting director.” Mimi jokes again. Sebastian wonders how long you've been friends.

“a critic?” Sebastian perks up, critics are his worst enemy in life. No matter how much he can ignore them, one well-written article can make or break an entire year for him.

“Not actually, I just watch a lot of movies and have strong opinions.” your eyes land back on him.

“Harsh. Harsh opinions.” Mimi makes a point, and you roll your eyes and almost smile again. Almost. Sebastian wants to see you smile, what a weird thought for a stranger he’s only known for 20 minutes. You do make good eggs, but how do you fuck up eggs?

“Anything you recognize me from?'' Sebastian slaps on a cheeky smile, and maybe it's arrogant to think he knows the answer to that. But he is Sebastian Stan and you watch a lot of movies. You open your mouth to speak but Mimi interrupts again, not in an annoying way.

“Don't bruise his ego,” she warns.

How harsh could you be? Sebastian starts to regret asking about himself.

“Anyways, how could I not? I vividly remember seeing the covenant play in the hospital when my baby sister was born; a weird choice for hospital cinema.”

Sebastian's glad you don't mention Marvel or gossip girl, the covenant isn't any much better either though.

“That is very weird. Any critics?” Sebastian doesn't even know why he asked tt, he's going to regret it.

Mimi whispers an ‘oh boy’ under her breath and Sebastian feels like he needs to buckle down and brace himself. Even worse as your eyes scan him, judging him.

“I'm not here was your worst movie and you need to fire your agents or whoever told you that was a good idea.”

Oh?

“I thought it was a good script.”

You look at him as if he had three heads. Mimi looks scared.

“I can see the vision but the story tries too hard to be deep and pretentious - it settles on just being a cry fest and it doesn't even do that well. The main character is just a shitty person with a shitty life and the writing fails to make me feel bad for him, no matter how good you or J.K Simmons's acting was”

Sebastian hangs onto the small compliment hidden in there by his fingernails. You're not done yet.

“I, Tonya was really good. Marvel is… Marvel, same thing for gossip girl. The rest of your characters have been the same angry or toxic men trope over and over again, no offense, you need more range.”

That hurt a lot less than Sebastian expected. He feels speechless, mimi is still eating and is silent. Sebastian isn't hungry anymore and your cold eyes are stripping him down naked. He still thinks you're beautiful.

“Do you like anything I've been in?” why does he keep asking questions he knows he won't like?

You think for a moment, look him dead in the eye, and smile. And even if it's meant to be snarky or sarcastic, Sebastian thinks it's beautiful and warm. Warmer than the coffee in his hands. It reaches your eyes and crinkles at the end and he knows it's genuine, it utterly stuns him and he almost thinks he missed your response.

“Once upon a time.”

Sebastian can’t help but smile at that, “give me one complaint so you don't send me home with a broken heart.” he bargains, half joking with small doubt it won't be back handed.

“I have controversial opinions on superhero movies and the people that play them, but you portray Bucky Barnes really well.'' You say quietly like you're scared of being nice, Sebastian takes it and he doesn't notice he's grinning with a light in his eyes. You don't either, mimi does - she is already texting Lauryn about it.

“I don't like to comment on people's acting abilities because I'm not an actor, but I can tell when someone is good or bad.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes at you. “You sure do comment on people's writing and directing though, you're a writer?”

Your eyes are cold again and your back straightens, even Mimi tenses and Sebastian wonders if he said something wrong. He gets no reply from you, and Sebastian sees a mask fall from your face - one he didn't notice you were wearing until now.

“No, I'm not.” your voice is monotone again. When did it have feelings? Sebastian doesn't remember when you started to sound humane and passionate, he said something wrong.

Mimi rushes the rest of her food in her mouth and reads the room as you retreat behind to the kitchen again, so quickly and quietly Sebastian almost doesn't notice.

“It's now late-late, I'm heading home.” Mimi sighs, heavily implying he needs to leave too. Sebastian agrees.

He glances back at you once more when Mimi yells goodbye, you don't look at Sebastian.

\

Sebastian prepares for the movie, he doesn’t think about you or the cafe for two weeks. He goes on a date and he doesn’t call her back.

his house is suffocating, it’s too big for him and he knows it. women and friends stay over but it feels empty. He needs air - paparazzi - he groans. suck it up, Sebastian. put on a coat and find a place to eat, he chooses a blue sweatshirt and sunglasses.

Every time he goes out he thinks maybe no one will recognize him. He's always wrong. He should know better.

aimlessly he walks. Sebastian knows the streets of New York like the back of his hand. He feels lost despite the fact he’s walked down this street many times, so much changed anyways.

Jones' place.

he remembers the place from a few weeks ago, remembers you and your cold face. Sebastian remembers you smiling and him feeling giddy about it, but now he can’t imagine it in his head. Sebastian had said something wrong, he remembers that. He wishes he got your number.

you knew him and you didn’t dance around him like a celebrity - when did the person get erased and celebrity scribbled in its place? you were normal and not on vogue or GQ and you talked to him like he wasn’t either.

in a daze, he walks in and sits down. it’s open this time, and a group of teenagers sits at a booth in the corner. an elderly man sits alone at a table, Sebastian wonders if he’s married, and if she passed and that’s where they used to sit together. maybe you’d know.

but he doesn’t see you at first. tapping his finger on the bar - you appear and you don’t look at him, don’t notice him. walking straight past him and giving a chocolate croissant to the elderly man, maybe you did see him and are just insanely good at covering it up, you don’t smile at the man but your features lighten.

you turn back around and your eyes hit Sebastian dead center like you knew he was there because Sebastian was right.

“same as last time?” you ask, of course you’d remember his order. it was simple and that was your job.

Sebastian nods, “no egg, just coffee.”

“It's not on the house this time!” you yell as you disappear into the back.

Sebastian smiles for some reason.

\

Daisy Edgar-Jones' accent makes Sebastian feel weirdly at home despite the fact he’s not from England and has never found any sense of comfort there.

Sebastian bites the inside of his cheek as he listens to Mimi speak about the movie, he dozed off, to be honest. the writers and producer speak over each other in the zoom call. Daisy is still in England and they start filming in two weeks. Sebastian is excited - the type of excitement that you mix with anxiety because it also makes you want to throw up.

Your name is mentioned briefly and Sebastian is paying attention now. Lauryn dances around the fact you practically wrote the whole script - why don’t you take credit? Lauryn is an extroverted woman who smiles a lot and tries to make everyone as comfortable as possible, the same with Mimi.

It makes no sense. Why are you so distant and monotone?

Sebastian opens Instagram for the first time in a week. He realized recently most social media was bullshit, he was turning 40 this year, and there are more important things to focus on.

search history.

(imsebastianstan) y/n l/n writer

(imsebastianstan) y/n l/n

(imsebastianstan) sundance film fest

(imsebastianstan) daisyedgarjones

(imsebastianstan) mjonf

/

Sebastian has been acting since a kid, he took a break between then and his first real job but he's been surrounded by film and cameras most of his life. Being in front of a camera should come naturally to him. Maybe it's just a mid-life crisis thing but he feels like he wants to throw up.

Coming back from some stupid junket, he doesn't remember when the feeling of needing to hurl settled in his stomach but even hours after, it hasn't left. Sebastian wonders how many people know that he paces in his room before filming, he'll anxiously bite on his nails and look in the mirror and wonder if he should have skipped that meal earlier.

Home feels foreign now. He misses his mom and he can't seem to find time to go see her. His stomach feels empty - it is empty. He's only had a salad today.

Sebastian wants to flee, where it's private and warm. His steps carried him through the city, maybe he should call that girl back? He doesn't want to be lonely tonight.

Suddenly, he feels the presence of cameras snapping pictures of his panic attacks across the street. It's like a sixth sense now, he hates it. Sometimes when his day will blur and depression hits, he'll see the photos of himself later not recognize the person on his phone. Or he'll just hate what he sees.

He doesn’t want to have to do that routine again tomorrow morning.

Then he remembers you, remembers the street he's on. and then before he can realize his breath is already suffocating him and your cafe is in front of him. It's closed but the lights are on - why is he here? Why is he knocking on the door?

Your face is concerned when you open it, Sebastian's chest feels heavy, can you tell? You must have, you must be familiar with the look of despair, panic, and the intense feelings of doom, because you let him in with no word.

Sebastian's staring again as you make him the same coffees he's ordered twice now. You're nice but guarded, Sebastian wonders if you'll ever let it down. Because he is now. Your hair is tied up and your full face is in view, no muscles move and you look just as monotone and bored as before. You look like statues, beautiful statues. Like your cheekbones and exposed collarbone were sculpted with stone or clay. Your lips are plump, you're not smiling - not frowning. You remind him of the Mona Lisa.

Embarrassment washed over him when he jolted like a paranoid creep as you set his coffee down. Sebastian mumbled a sorry under his breath and you don't say anything still, why haven't you said anything?

A laptop and cup of tea are set in front of the seat next to him, a google doc is open and he sees a script. He’ll feel guilty about it later but his neck cranes to see what is written. Sebastian barely reads a line before the laptop closes with a slam, you're looking at him with a glare, and he flinches again.

“You're nosy.” you say, making your way to sitting next to him now, sipping on the tea and staring off into space.

“Thought you said you weren't a writer?” Sebastian feels like he's going into tricky territory, scratch that - he knows he is.

Mumbled through your lips, “I'm not.”

You sound haunted, Sebastian wants to know why.

Maybe he is nosy.

Sebastian needs to keep talking or else his anxiety will eat him raw, he’ll choke on his thoughts and die in the middle of your cafe. Then he'd feel really bad. At least he doesn't feel lonely, a ghost of a person sits next to him yet he feels more comfortable than in a room full of people. How odd.

“You're not going to ask why I knocked on your door at 11 pm? Or do you just let any stranger in at night?” he tries to joke, but it comes out half-hearted like most things.

“You looked like you were going to die, I'm not going to be responsible for Sebastian stan's death,” you say, scrolling through your phone. Twitter. “I'm sure some 16 year old would dox me or something.”

Sebastian laughs, slowly picking up on your dry humor, but he knows you're unfortunately right.

“How'd you meet Lauryn?” Sebastian asks, clawing at your guarded walls as he also tries to calm himself down. He doesn't even remember why he was panicking earlier.

“A film festival in Greece, 2009 - I think,” you answer honestly, sipping your coffee again. Sebastian notices the rings on your fingers.

Sebastian wants to ask how you got into films - he feels like that's the wrong thing to say again. He doesn't want you to drive him out again, hoping to get your number before he leaves.

The iPhone in his pocket dings, it's Ellie, his date from a few days ago. She's asking if he wants to come over with a winky face, that her bed feels cold and Sebastian wants to throw up again.

“Girlfriend?” you ask, side-eyeing his phone.

“No, I don't have time for that right now.” part lie, not his girlfriend but somehow he always finds time to date. Sometimes he hates himself for it because he always loves half heartedly. He never liked commitment anyways. “You?”

“No,” you say plainly. Changing the subject at an uncharacteristic rate, “why have you so shaken up at such a time?”

Sebastian wonders if he should lie and make up some stereotypical actor excuse, or just say he doesn't know. Avoid the topic that he’s spent the past 3 weeks with new people every day but he still feels lonely. That he wants to crumble in front of any camera. That he's tired of picking himself apart.

But you sit there so mysteriously and Sebastian wants to know you too. Maybe if he gets vulnerable you'd feel okay doing the same, he tries to avoid the thought of expecting that from you, because he shouldn't. This will be an olive branch.

“I feel lonely.” he starts. “I don’t want to be home right now, so I went for a walk, and then the paps -“

he cuts himself off before he turns into word vomit. you're sitting next to him, not looking at his face. Sebastian wants you to look at him.

“you live in the city?”

“Rockland county.”

you hum, “far way to go for a walk.”

“I know.”

a moment of silence, Sebastian wants to cry for some reason. “Are you going to that girl's house?”

Sebastian's eyebrows furrow for a second, you're referring to the text. you were just as nosy as him it seems. and maybe he could go to her house, either it would destroy him or he’d feel a little better. she’d probably ask him about the new movie, flirt, and have sex, she’d talk to him like a character and he’d go home. He doesn't want to go home.

“no.” Sebastian almost whispers, “I'm not sure where I'm going.”

he was so lost, it’s pathetic.

you look at him for once you don’t look frozen. Sebastian wants to know what’s going on behind your eyes. you’re thinking, that’s obvious enough. eyes scanning him up and down he feels vulnerable. it’s unfair how much he doesn't know about you.

“I have a spare room if you're desperate.” you offer. an olive branch. Sebastian feels like choking.

He also feels guilty, because he doesn't know you and you’ve already made him coffee for free when you didn’t need to. “no, you don’t have-“

“You feel so small and tiny in a big house like that, it’s like living with a ghost when you are lonely, right? it feels taunting, even." You speak honestly, speaking from experience, you’ve been where Sebastian has. He still feels like crying but now he understands, the loneliness slowly drains from his body without realizing it.

“okay.” he whispers, almost scared to accept.

this is you being vulnerable, he soon realizes as you tell him you’ll finish closing up - living only across the alleyway in the back. you're being vulnerable by sharing a space, we’re he’ll see you raw and open.

and he saw it. old coffee mugs and everywhere the matching stains in the wood. a sweatshirt is thrown over your couch. a record playing with 80s goth music. bright orange bottles of pills. Banksy prints are nailed on the wall. books on screenwriting stacked on the coffee table. a cut-off and discarded hospital bracelet on the counter.

Sebastian asks about the vinyl, but he doesn’t bring up the empty Xanax bottles or the bracelet. you're glad.

The apartment is small and he feels warm. it’s foreign and strange - but it’s the most comfortable he’s felt in at least a week. you show him the extra bedroom, the beds made and it's mostly empty. a side table with a lamb and a wall full of shelves. books and movie scripts fill it, he sees an oscar award hidden and dusty behind a copy of pride and prejudice.

the front room is filled with warm lights, it’s settled the fog in his brain and he feels better You're sitting on a green couch that you found on the Facebook market place and he thinks you’re beautiful. Sebastian sits next to you and understanding is shared between you two, what it is? he’s not sure. but he feels safe and understood and he doesn’t want to leave.

Sebastian is not tired and neither are you, your leaning intoSebastian'sn touch and he doesn’t question why.

“thank you.” is all he can think to say.

“don’t, not yet.” you sound tortured and Sebastian can’t stop the word from leaving his mouth. he just has to know.

“what broke you?”

too much. everything. nothing at all. a man. my talent and my desire to be my loved, you think. a shaky exhale leaves your mouth and Sebastian thinks he carry your sorrows if you’d just smile at him again.

“I don’t know.” you settle on and Sebastian understands.

Sebastian's hand grazed above your arm, you don’t flinch out of his touch. your warm and soft and he melts. he wants to ask you why you have an Oscar, if it’s yours and why you were at the hospital 2 days ago and why you're chasing him with a stone-cold face

the extra bedroom goes unused and his limbs are warm and feel perfect against yours. the warm lights lull him to sleep, your breath is steady and Sebastian realized you smile in your sleep and he hopes it’s because he’s caressed your back as you dazed off. Sebastian wraps a blanket around the two of you.

now don’t get anything incorrect. Sebastian stan doesn’t believe in love at first sight, sometimes he wonders if he even believes in love at all because sometimes it feels impossible to love. his mother and father taught him commitments are lies and his partners convinced him of that. he loves his friends - he thinks - but they always come and go. they never knew him anyways.

but as the sun hits his face and he feels the blanket around him on your couch. Faye Webster is spinning on the record playing softly and you’re swaying your hips in the kitchen. you don’t realize he’s awake and your mask falls down. your cooking something and humming along, a thin-lipped smile on your face.

Sebastian doesn’t know you but at this moment he does. he feels normal and like he’s known you his entire life. it’s scary and he feels oncoming doom but he lets himself be and watches.

you seemed more alive this morning as you gave him toast. he didn’t ask for it but it was the best toast he has had in a while. Sebastian asks if you slept on the couch all night, you smiled and he almost dropped dead. no reply but that was enough. he danced with you in the kitchen, it was weird and domestic and Sebastian is looking at you like he’s in love.

but he’s not. and neither are you. The fog settles and you say goodbye and open the shop. Sebastian goes home and he never got your number.

and he has to leave tomorrow for Canada and go back to his life.

Sebastian doesn’t talk to you for another week.

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

Thank you for this blog. I find old posts of Zero being cool and suave and having Sexual thoughts and actions when he likely literally does not know sex exists other than knowing organic life reproduces physically somehow. With how the x games ended up you could argue he has never met a human irl before other than Dr Cain. If the ambiguous consent argument is too much he might get scared and kill you (x9: WTF NEW MAVERICK VIRUS INFECTS HUMANS?)

if zero even knows what an intimate relationship is, i'll sit and fuck myself.

DID YOU KNOW, as far as i was able to dig, there is nothing anywhere ever that stated iris and zero were a couple? a lot of fandom perception is that iris is zero's girlfriend and they were in wuv, and that half the tragedy of X4 is that he was going against someone he loved. he killed someone he loved. so tragic. :(

thing is, that's kind of complete bupkis.

obviously Iris admired him a lot, and it's not like Zero hated her, but that's about as far as it went! it's one of those popular fanon things that cycles around, like samus being super-motherly to the baby the baby the baby metroid and wubbing her widdle babuu, or flandre scarlet being sealed in the basement to contain her massive power because she's crazy and could kill everyone with the drop of a frilly hat. but then you start digging for where it's from in the games and ????????????? where did it come from? where did it go?

the manuals?

that would be a nope.

the game script? you can look at both the japanese and english script for x4 at your leisure, and even go for the x5 japanese cutscenes, japanese bosses, and english script to look for mentions of Iris as well. iris' dialogue in Xtreme 2 is 95% the same between x and zero, too, but just for posterity's sake here's also the english and japanese script. either way, that would also be a nope.

what about encyclopedic material, like the X Official Complete Works or the Compendium of Rockman X?

兄のカーネルを失ったアイリスが、自らの姿を変身させてゼロと戦う。クリスタル状の本体とサイボーグ体に分離しているレプリロイド。/ Iris has lost her brother Colonel, and so transforms herself to fight Zero. She is a Reploid split into both a crystal body and a cyborg(?) body. (Most of the Japanese is difficult to make out, so apologies if this is inaccurate! I could swear that says "サイボーグ" / "cyborg", but that doesn't make sense...)

that would also be a nope.

the closest we get to this is that Zero Went On A Date, which is tucked away in the side of a Capcom Music Generation booklet for X1-X6

(Pieced together with commentary from the X Complete Works)

which is all fine and dandy, i guess, but a date can be anything. is it a hang-out date? a shopping date? a romantic date? a social date? a business date? a casual date? a competitive tournament-level date? it's difficult to argue the intent is supposed to be anything other than lovey-dovey romantic but i had to dig into page 5 of mini-booklet in a goddamn compilation album to find it and this is the only evidence they did anything other than vaguely acknowledge each other in the field.

it seems people just kind of hooked them together. and i can get that. i've got weirder ships. there's a couple reasons you could say why. you could be a sarcastic shit and say it's because they're a male and a female in a 90s anime and so get hooked by a red string of fate as soon as they look at each other because people had no idea how interacting with people work. or you could write better than capcom and say iris being emotionally tied to both zero and colonel, instead of just being related to colonel and hoping zero-senpai notices her new breastplate, is what forces her to get involved as an in-between rather than just jumping ship to be with repliforce from the getgo. or you could just say they're cute, in which case, yeah, that's cool

but the point that i am laboriously reaching around to make is that this is a consistent pattern with zero throughout the series. zero/iris is the most prominent of a companion bob capcom has pushed for him and he barely acknowledges she exists. you have to really dig for any indication that they're together. zero/layer comes next, but if you look over their interactions, she's just making anime girl blushing noises and zero has no clue what the fuck she's doing. is she overheating? zero/ferham? he wants to stab her. zero/leviathan? he also wants to stab her. zero/ciel? maybe if his preferred way of responding to a 12-year-old girl wasn't with "............" and i see you xzero shippers in the background, rubbing your hands and cackling and thinking you're getting off scot-free. zero's second favorite way of socializing with x is bailing on him. first favorite is attempting to stab him as well.

the dude is spaghettiman virgin prime, a buzzsaw with only two modes: "KILL" and "maybe don't kill". an intimate relationship? he's got a computer brain and he still doesn't even know what that means. a relationship is what you have when you fight someone, right? he's as smooth as a cactus rolling through a sandpaper factory. he's as suave as a can of worms used in spear-fishing. if you showed him a picture of sex, he'd think it was two humans attempting to strangle each other. the man installed titties on himself and he's still never touched a single one. and then he lost them in the future, so he's operating at a net titty-touching loss, which is honestly quite an impressive feat.