#also can we talk about her shitty therapist like what was up with him

[onefey]

waittt since i offhand mentioned i liked scream 5 a while ago should i say i also liked scream 6 . wow these people can survive getting stabbed so much though

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

[fallstaticexit]

The cool down period after spending almost 10 hours at the theme park sometimes feel more draining than the actual activity. Orion may as well come clean about her problems with Noa and Selene probably should see someone's therapist- wait. Where's Adie?

prev / next

Selene: So, what’s really going on with you and Noa? And don’t give me that “happy country life” whatever you gave mom and dad either.

Orion: What are you talking about?

Selene: You said it yourself. We’re twins. We’re connected at the brain. I get you want to seem like you got it all together to them, but you can be you around me.

Orion: I- [sighs] Yeah...

Orion: I don’t know.. Noa has all this trauma from his childhood that he just...sits on. I think he’s burying himself in this restaurant to avoid dealing with it. Or avoid dealing with me?

Selene: What do you mean deal with you?

Orion: Sometimes I feel like I want too much from him. That I’m making things harder for him because I want- more. I want what our parents have.

Selene: [laughs dryly] Wow, we’re a real piece of work, huh? How did we have the best example of what real love looks like but end up with such shitty relationships problems?

Orion: Speaking of, what are you going to do about Zoey?

Selene: Yeah...I don’t know. She hates my guts. She should. I fucked up.

Orion: Do you want to try and fix things?v

Selene: I don’t know if I can. She’s blocked my number. She sold the camper and she’s moving back in with her parents. I don’t even know what to say to her. When she looks at me, it’s like she doesn’t recognize me.

Orion: Maybe you can come stay with us until you figure things out? I know Adie would love that. I would too, Selene.

Selene: Thanks Ri, but I don’t think I could survive being so far from the ocean. Best therapy around is riding the waves.

Orion: I know what you mean but you should probably also go to actual therapy... Wait-

Orion: Where’s Adie?

Selene: What? She was with...oh, no..

Orion: Oh god...w-where’s my daughter?

Everyone calls out for Adie - Wasn’t she with you?? - She was! She was right here!! - Adie, where are you!!

[modelbus]

ok ok WE NEED A CUT CHAOS PART 4 BDBDVZVZ

it’s not milking it if it’s what the people ask for…. This one is a bit different! It’s headcannons style of the other cc’s finding out what happened and such :D

Part 1

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic) Head Cannons of: Cc!Phil, Cc!Dream, Cc!Niki, and The Public (fans)

Cut Chaos Part 4

Phil

“You what?!”

Is overly concerned, ends up having a long lecture over communication and talking things out.

Even after multiple reassurances that everything is fine now, he’s very disappointed in Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Tommy.

Ends up talking to Kristen about it later, he feels bad that he didn’t realize what was going on while it was happening.

He’s constantly on the lookout that things aren’t actually okay for weeks after that, then relaxes once he realizes you were being serious about it being okay now.

”That’s never happening again, to anyone.”

”It’s nobody’s fault. Just remember to follow basic internet rules and not trust everything we see. We’re literally content creators for fucks sake!”

Is more likely to be lenient on Ranboo, Tubbo, and Tommy but is just all Dad Mode Disappointed.

Dream

You’re the one to tell him, maybe with an offhand remark about hating rumors due to what happened. He pauses and goes, “wait, what?”

Wide-eyed the entire time you explain, this man cannot believe his ears.

”They did that? Really?”

Absolutely pissed on your behalf. Skips worrying and goes straight to muttering curses with a glare.

Deadass just doesn’t believe you when you say it’s okay now.

”Are you sure? Because that’s fucked. That’s really fucked. Good for you on resolving it, but… things don’t sound fine. That doesn’t just go away, right?”

Pushes you to talk to someone about it. A therapist, an animal, someone.

”I just can’t believe…”

He’s 100% blaming Wilbur, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Tommy. All of them. And the internet, for even spreading the rumor.

Posts a vague tweet in his private about disliking rumors being spread about content creators and how harmful it is.

Likes vague tweets then unlikes them.... mr. drama over here...

Niki

When Dream told you to talk to someone about it, you go to Niki.

She gets it, having experienced firsthand how horribly internet rumors can affect your life.

Out of everyone, she blames the internet the most for it.

Although she is still very disappointed in Wilbur, Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo.

”I would’ve expected better from them. I’m sure they didn’t even think about how it’d hurt you. And that’s so frustrating, right?”

Comforting <3

Playing cozy games together

”I’m an open door.”

Somehow it ends with you planning a trip to go hang out with her, although you’re not quite sure how

Also end up planning a stream??

The Public

After a while, after everyone is more comfortable and doesn’t feel absolutely shitty over what happened, it’s a little bit funny.

So there’s little quips in vlogs, streams, and videos that allude to what happened.

”I’m a ghost!” “Just don’t ghost me.”

”They’re talking about rumors, I swear—“ “Rumors, huh?” “…no.”

”Why am I back in videos now? ….don’t worry about it.”

It doesn’t take long for Twitter to realize what happened. The most popular theory is the correct one, leaving mixed opinions.

Most people are advocating to let things be, no matter what happened.

Some people, the mean ones, are saying they should’ve left you out for good.

A lot of your fans are upset at them, but take the cue from you and don’t cause a huge fuss.

Either way, it ends up trending for a little bit on Twitter. It’s slightly ironic to you.

Nobody addresses it to confirm/deny what went on, although when prompted through a donation Tommy says he "fucking loves" you in "a platonic way, chat. PLA-TON-IC!"

And when the Tik Tok fans find out…

incredibly dramatic

”Chaos squad is over guys D:"

Angsty edits

[wildpeachfarm]

this is meant lighthearted : instead of “all men are trash, women do no wrong” a secret third thing “PEOPLE suck in general”

as someone who grew up with an absent father who tried to make life difficult for my mother once she took him to court for child support for me and my siblings - ing…I grew up with a not nice view of older men BUT my grandpa was a big big influence in not making men a negative experience for us.

the recent shift of the last 4-5 years has been worrying. I used to liked jkr and could emphasize where she was coming from originally. but it was scary to see the gradual descent into where she is now and the stuff she is saying. Bc she is so far removed from what she originally stood for. It can happen to anyone, I even get worried if I’m on that slope sometimes. This whole situation had me second guessing myself bc I gave gnf time and believed in him. I had a moment when a few female creators made remarks (not from mc community) and I checked myself bc I was scared I was falling into the conservative rhetoric to blame women and protect men. Then I saw others who had more information and actually looked into it and also found this blog where the nuances were being discussed and let out a breath of relief that I was just using my critical thinking skills lmao

There are so many men out there who just aren’t given a chance bc society is set up for them to fall into a certain role. And I think a lot of men are trying to break that role and stereotypes. I became a dream fan bc I saw him doing this, saw a gamerboy in 2020 who was passionate and excelled at the game but didn’t fall into the toxicity of the space, actively fought against it.

and women should not be encouraged to drag men through hell bc they feel empowered by the rhetoric of recent years. women can and are just as selfish and shitty people as men. Sometimes they are worse

we’ve gone so far off center, we’ve essentially gone from one extreme to another. Which I learned two years ago was called terfs 😂 the movement needs to go back to its previous meaning. Feminism is not solely female empowerment it is the deconstructing of the patriarchal roles and belief that push men and women into boxes. Feminism, as I was taught over a decade ago, was the fight for women and MEN to be equal and have the same rights and opportunities. We can uplift women without putting down men. if this feminist movement doesn’t correct itself, it will allow more men like andrew tate to grow and influence young men.

The lack of female representation in the sphere cannot be corrected by women. It just can’t. Men need to be part of the change bc if the environment is not corrected, women cannot succeed and thrive. They can become successful but the hate and obstacles directed towards them is crazy. This is in general not just for streaming.

It can’t just be women solidarity, men need to learn and actively engage in calling out misogynist behavior. Women need to talk with their males friends and call them out when they say or act in disgusting ways. Women need to hold women accountable as well! It is unfair and unattainable to put female equality solely in the hands of women. We need to All work together.

Puffy is so good at this when she streams, especially on the smp. Hell, she even created a whole villain arc to call out the people telling her to “be a therapist to Tommy, omg your like dreams mom”. Puffy is awesome 🥹

men =/ bad

women =/ good

PREACH ANON

this breaks it all down so well and i really sympathize with you about having a poor view of some men in your life and trying to not let that influence your views but also not go so far off the other end that you end up blindly defending them without critical thinking.

Really important discussions and introspection about how your thought processes work that I think everyone should have at least once when situations like this come up

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

About the Adrienette relationship and how Adrien became the therapist trophy bf… idk if I can explain my thoughts right, but I feel like this is the result of a bigger issue with where the writer’s priorities lie regarding Adrien‘s obstacles?

Adrien‘s issues with his family are kind of not that important, or at least don’t affect him that much. When Gabriel does something shitty like not letting Adrien leave the house, it either gets resolved by the end of the episode or it‘s forgotten about. Gabriel‘s abuse feels to me more like a plot device to remove Adrien from the plot until the akuma shows up than a serious issue that affects Adrien mental being and needs to be resolved with therapy and Gabriel loosing custody over him. Adrien almost never talks bad about his dad, it‘s always „oh he‘s just overprotective of me“ or something. It’s like Adrien doesn’t recognize how crappy Gabe is, which does make sense for an abuse victim, but I don’t feel like the show frames this opinion as wrong.

Meanwhile in his relationship with LB, he takes everything super personal. He acts mean and entitled when she rejects his advances (even though he comes around in the end… only to try again a few episodes later) and he gets very angsty about LB… having more than one superhero friend. I know I sound dismissive, mostly because I though the whole arc sucked, but I do understand that it happened because Adrichat has abandonment issues. It makes sense why he feels that way. And he goes off to her in the s4 finale. So suddenly he can realize when he‘s treated badly in a relationship and talk about it? It‘s not like Lb treated him worse than Gabe, not even close!!

Adrien‘s main source of problems is his relationship with Maribug. This gets resolved in s4 on the Ladynoir side, and then in s5 Adriens biggest goal is resolving the Adrienette side, aka getting with a traumatized Marinette, aka the whole point of the show and probably the writer‘s only true priority. And when Adrien actually has a problem with his dad, it‘s only in the context of Gabe trying to sabotage the relationship, because who cares that he‘s an abusive asshole regardless of Adrien‘s relationship status? We need to save the relationship you guys!!

I guess what I‘m trying to say is that Adrien is the therapist in the relationship because (according to the writers), he doesn‘t really have problems. His only problems are when things are obstacles to his relationship with Marinette, which are her trauma and in the second half of s5 Gabriel being a dick to Mari. Other than that? Nathalie dying was a little important for like two minues, Emilie doesn‘t get brought up by Adrien in s5 at all, Gabriel dying and Adrien literally becoming an orphan is cool. None of these things have any influence on Adrienette, so they don‘t bother him and he doesn‘t need to talk to anyone about it or get therapy.

Love conquers all !!

So, confession time: I often tone Gabriel's abuse down when I write him specifically because of a lot of what you brought up (there's also the fact that it makes for a more compelling story if Gabriel's behavior is actually driven by grief and not just how he's always been, but let's not get into that). I've always considered it glaringly obvious that the writer's never meant for Gabriel to come across anywhere near as controlling and abusive as he's actually written. It really is just a plot device even though there are episodes that would have played far better if Gabriel had been less controlling.

For example, Glaciator would have been a far stronger episode if Adrien chose to not go see his friends in order to wait around for Ladybug because then he'd be super clearly in the wrong for flaking on a commitment and the lesson could be "don't put romance above your friends."

As-is, I have no idea what the moral of that episode is supposed to be because Maribug did nothing wrong outside of being a little rude to the ice cream guy, but Chat Noir also isn't really in the wrong because he was banned from going out as Adrien. There's a solid argument to be made for not wanting to risk punishment by going to a very public location with his friends. In episodes like this, it really felt like Gabriel's controlling, unreasonable nature wasn't being used to develop his character, but as a way to absolve Adrien of blame.

Along similar lines, the Adrigami plot in season five feels less like a thing that was included to make Gabriel feel evil and more like the writers desperately padding things out because Gabriel actually does very little to keep Adrien and Marinette apart. He could have pulled Adrien from school! He could have demanded Nathalie give back Adrien's ring so that his commands stuck! He could have interrupted the video game date and banned Marinette from the house. But he does none of that because he's not actually being controlling as a character thing. He's doing it so that the writers can add cheap drama to the Adrienette plot.

The clearest evidence of this is the wacky season five ending. That's not an ending you give to a person you consider abusive and evil beyond all hope of redemption even though that's arguably who Gabriel was by the end of season five. The writers are either ignorant to just how abusive he actually was or they know that he got pretty bad as the seasons went on, but they didn't want to change their planned ending so we got the ending they wrote when the show had less seasons and they'd done less to make Gabriel abusive.

It's just another case of that inconsistent characterization problem I've discussed before. By letting Gabriel be whatever they needed him to be for a given plot idea to work, they created a monster and made Adrien into a victim, but that's pretty clearly not the dynamic they actually wanted to write, so it all comes across as strange, wacky, and insensitive.

This is getting long, but I'll end by noting that I fully agree on the Maribug stuff. The conflicts they give Chat Noir and Ladybug make me super uncomfortable because they tend to center around her being a bad partner for... not reading his mind. Which is a massive personal pet peeve because so many people do this shit (myself included) and it's wildly unhealthy. Not saying she behaved perfectly or that this isn't an understandable flaw to give a character like Chatdrien, but it is a flaw and the show fails to treat it as such. It especially annoys me because it's a terrible conflict to give two people who are trying to keep the world safe. I've mentioned this before, but a big reason why superhero shows aimed at kids tend to develop both the civilian and superhero sides is so that the civilian side can focus on interpersonal conflicts and learn valuable life lessons, many of which will then be applied on the superhero side. Miraculous really needed to use this tool to help Adrien learn to communicate his very valid feelings. It's just bad writing choice after bad writing choice, adding up to a mess of a show no matter how you look at it.

Quick side note: I have nothing against people writing Gabriel as abusive as the show often makes him. I hope I've made it clear that I fully agree with that take, it's just not the take I like to use in my own stuff because it doesn't suit the kind of stories I enjoy telling. I prefer the happy family broken by Emilie's death route that the show pretty clearly wanted, but failed to write.

[mazzystar24]

I've been thinkin bout that bt scene. Obviously I might be totally wrong but idk, I feel like T kinda muttered "god I hope so" into his wine glass & not directly at Buck & he was being maybe kinda insecure, like in his head maybe since we assume he's older & more experienced he might think that's why Buck is sticking around?

Like idk, it's a call back somehow to the first date and the closet comment? Like T wants this to work out because he thinks Buck is adorable but you know they aren't really clicking so ya know whatever works? (But eventually it will fully break down)

And the way Buck said "but you think I do?" about the daddy issues is like Buck goin "....wait what?" in his head because his head does tilt a bit to the side like 🤔🤔🤔 And it's showing that they don't fit.

That it was intentionally weird & off putting.

Tho I do think the bit where T says "but your father is alive" wasn't meant to be snarky. Buck then says "Exactly" which I took as Buck being all "exactly, my dad's just THAT shitty and he's not going to change."

Off course then the speech Buck gave Chris is a bit eh, but like two things can be true at the same time. XD

Also I'm def not a bt shipper, Buddie all the way but yeah that's just how it came off to me. Lol.

I hope this makes sense.

I have been swamped with exams and neglected my inbox so 💐💐💐💐💐

Eh I feel like it was definitely more flirty than insecure like I’m tempted to add the gifsets for reference but I don’t want it to show up in the gif makers’ notifications but yeah like as he’s saying it it’s 100% like suggestive vibes rather than self deprecating making a joke about an actual insecurity vibe

Like I think for me this is definitely a horses not zebras moment

I do keep think that maybe the like off putting moments are intentional because so many weird choices have been made with BT

For the your dad is alive I think I wasn’t super clear on my opinion on it but like I don’t mean he said it to be snarky per say more so that the implications behind that line are things like “you’d feel differently if he wasn’t” or “you can fix things before he does” or as if that’s something to be thankful for or recognise when talking about his pseudo father nearly dying

Like the reason I hate this line isn’t that it necessarily has to be cruel intentions on Tommys part but rather that this sorta narrative gets forced down traumatised peoples throats CONSTANTLY (sometimes with good intentions) and it’s such a bullshit rhetoric and it’s even more bullshit to use that line while talking about this found family/pseudo father he has nearly dying

Also yeah that’s definitely what that “exactly” was meant to be like yup a dead dad would at least be less traumatising, a lot easier to explain, and probably easier on my therapist than this clusterfuck but alas

BUCKS SPEECH TO CHRIS- okay lots of thoughts on this because my mom got confused and picked thought daughter:

Do I love that the writers low-key made it sound like he’s comparing Eddie to the Buckley parents? no I hate it but KR was writing for this ep so what did we expect

Do I think a marginally better way to interpret it is that it was more so continuing that theme of paralleling buck and Chris’ issues? Yes

Are the basic and I mean like the very abstract very simple and nothing further parallels there? Yeah like parent not over their grief causes conflict between parent and child

Other than that no not at all Eddie never involved Chris in this, Kim came over with her Shannon cosplay without telling him, Eddie also never intentionally emotionally harmed Chris while the Buckley parents spent bucks entire life intentionally being the absolute worst™️ and emotionally neglectful and were shit parents to Maddie too by forcing her to pretend her brother didn’t exist while she was a child and mourning said brother

But I also think it’s actually very in character for buck to continue to sympathise with them and cut them an impossible amount of slack by trying to draw parallels to this situation like it’s less trying to paint Eddie more like them and more so using Eddie (someone he cares about and loves and sympathises with deeply) as a frame of reference to mentally try to humanise and sympathise with his own parents - idk if I’m making sense but in my head it makes sense

Like it’s actually a pretty common thing you see with traumatised people they’ll sorta draw parallels that aren’t there between themselves or the people they care about and the people who traumatised them because a lot of traumatised people will just constantly seek to understand that perspective more and sympathise with it like hell I’ve seen it with the people in my life doing it and it’s like woah those situations are very different I need you to recognise that

Loved hearing your view of it and it totally made sense!!!

Gonna see if there are any quick asks I can answer before I get back to my revision cos I definitely yapped more than I expected for this

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. tuesday we did voy's "night" and ds9's "afterimage."

night (voy):

i REALLY liked this one...a rare w for neelix, whose fear of nothingness is relatable and totally understandable considering he just converted to atheism

it also makes me understand why people hc janeway as bipolar...she's up she's down i kind of get it. not sure if i 10% agree but i do at least get it. deeply enjoyed chakotay's attempts to bring her back into the rest of the ship also

also, chakotay asking tuvok for advice <3 and then later janeway is like chakotay i trust you more than anyone on this ship and you just KNOOOW he is like damn take THAT tuvok! worsties <3

MUTINY AS A TREAT!!!! we can have a little mutiny as a treat.

i love that she was like chakotay i trust you saaaur much and he was like got it i will go behind your back to do mutiny

although, is it really mutiny if they're stoping what is more or less a suicide attempt...no. ALSO, it makes me well up how much they love her. not a single one of them wanted to stay behind on that paradise planet and the last time they almost mutinied it was curing 2.25 resolutions in which she did have to be left behind and like...damn. she's kicking herself for what she did to them but they love and trust her so much. wah. excellent episode

oh and before i forget i loved the aliens in this one also. she was like fuck the prime directive we are in fact taking sides <3

afterimage (ds9):

i miss deanna troi.

it's that bad! it's that dire! at least when deanna was being a therapist on a ship she knew what the FUCK she was doing. exri dax is like hee hee we will figure our problems out together at the same time! we will do it without warning in the middle of your tailor's shop! im a junior counselor i am such a good little girl scout! girl...please

i did really like ezri's scenes with sisko. firstly it's hard to fail when you're acting alongside him (although eddington or whoever did manage) and secondly it's when exri feels the most like "just dax" instead of teehee quirky cute junior counselor wannabe manic pixie dream girl. christ

also, it really riles me that garak is talking about this deeply personal stuff with a STRANGER. even jadzia was nearly a stranger to him - they knew each other but they weren't super close. it was a BIG DEAL when garak even allowed julian to know who his father was, and now with no prompting he's talking about that same father locking him in a closet isaac lahey style in the middle of his shop with zero prompting?? get FUCKED. it was so horribly manufactured. garak should have been working through this shit with JULIAN or at least someone who actually knows him. the betrayal of cardassians is such a juicy bit of acting and character development and we fucking wasted it on this shit!

speaking of julian, i'm also extremely put off by julian/exri...quark/exri actually feels so much more natural and respectful at this point whereas "oh she used to love when you flirted with her julian it would have been you if it wasn't worf" was so fucking excruciating and shoehorned in

finally...the worf stuff is bogus. he has no right to be like this isnt the same lady and then threaten people who talk to her. he also has a right to want nothing to do with her since he's grieving. she doesn't have to like make peace or whatever with him. he's not an obstacle she has to overcome in order to feel like one of the gang~! like she literally could leave :/ too bad she won't.

LIKE THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIME. TO DO A NEW CHARACTER. JUST BE LESS SHITTY TO TERRY FARREL. GOD.

maybe it will get better. i hope it does. but this JUNIOR~ counselor stuff is fucking killing me

TONIGHT: voy's "drone" and ds9's "take me out to the holosuite" - FINALLY. i'm still mad that jadzia never got to play baseball :(

[lhazaar]

Hey I was in that server but I didn't see the post before it was deleted, just the aftermath, what happened? The explanation of the screenshots is so vague and the reaction by mods has been uncomfortable, then I noticed a lot of the main people I'd see active in server have left so I'm very concerned

ty for your patience while i wrote this up, anon

short explanation: there was interpersonal stuff going on behind the scenes at the same time and everything exploded at once. liza has been a shitty friend and i'm angry about it because it's hurt people i care about. she has also been going around to everyone she can trying to drum up sympathy because she doesn't know how to handle her own emotions without getting external validation and, when the people that she farms for that validation have their own lives, it's a huge personal betrayal. this spilled over into the server because she was talking a ton of shit behind everyone's backs about how she thought calling out racism was annoying and she didn't realize that people can be friends independently of her, so of course we talk to each other. people started comparing notes on what she was telling them and how she was acting and they realized it didn't match up.

so here's the post in the server that was deleted:

i wasn't involved with its writing, to be clear; i like micah but we're independent people. i also wasn't in the server at this point because liza preemptively banned both me and one of my partners, who had not spoken to her at all and was uninvolved in this.

what micah's talking about in this post is that liza has been mean about both him and jupiter behind their backs for ages because, during a hades 2 stream, they started talking about the game's whitewashing problems/racism/fatphobia. liza turned around and went to one of my loved ones in a voice call immediately afterwards to complain about how it "wasn't the time or place" and how they were being, yknow, sooo negative when she was just trying to enjoy something. in multiple other conversations, she would complain about people talking about racism in the server and then turn around and be super nice and friendly to the faces of the people she was shittalking for... honestly i don't know what reason there could be. social clout? to feel like she was everyone's friend? she was catty about everyone constantly. sometimes people she didn't like would post in that server and then she'd turn around and get in our dms—including me this time!—and just bitch about them existing. maybe their opinions about dnd were cringe or she just didn't like how they interacted in group conversations. it was constant. it felt like i couldn't push back on any of it because then it would become about her hurt feelings; i regret not challenging her more.

this was accompanied by a pattern where she would see posts on tumblr talking about, for example, how white neurodivergent people's food aversions are not formed in a cultural vacuum. this is specific because this is a real incident that happened. she went to someone i care about, to complain about how the post was making her feel bad, and then when that person pushed back (because, among other reasons, they're mixed and have direct experience with racism around food), liza first shut down and disappeared and then came back the next morning angry and expecting an apology because she was "hurt". this pattern repeated in their interactions over months. there were several fights about it. i know this because we live together and i witnessed the fallout. every single time it happened, there was no room for anyone's emotions but liza's, and no room for anything but reassuring her guilt or her anxiety while she refused to take her rescue medication or talk to her therapist. my loved one brought this up repeatedly. liza knew this was a problem. i think, genuinely, that she believes because she got the verbal confirmation of "i don't hate you + we're still friends" somehow those incidents didn't stack up over time.

like, i want to emphasize immensely that this isn't a callout post. it's not that she's done shit i want smeared all over tumblr. it's a case of "wow, you've been a really shitty friend, and been leaning on your nonwhite friends especially hard while shittalking them behind their backs, and people found out about it because we're also friends with each other and didn't think it was fair or kind". i have very intentionally not sought people out to talk about this because we were friends for so long, so i still want her to get better, and i didn't want her to spin it like a conspiracy where we're trying to drive a wedge between her and her friend group. i actively don't want her to isolate—i want her to get help. a lot of what she's doing and how she's been acting reminds me of how i have acted before when my ocd has been brutally unmedicated. i get the fear of social rejection.

that said: i'm aware of the fallout and i am also very uncomfortable with her reaction and the mod reaction. i especially don't think it was appropriate to fight with kirby over this and to wholesale shut down discussion in the name of "handling it privately". we tried to handle it privately. that's why it went on for so long and why it wound up here. we all gave her the benefit of the doubt. if you come at poc who are telling you hey, this looks and feels really bad and you go well you have to address it privately!! no callout posts!!, all that does is make people less inclined to actually talk to you. you won't meet people where you are, right. liza's a goddamn adult, she shouldn't need people to hold her hand and explain that not every post about racism is personally attacking her.

i understand that liza also feels hurt that i kicked her from our dnd servers. i also understand that she is telling people i did so "without a word" and without discussing it with her first. i'll take some responsibility here: i wasn't aware that discord doesn't show the "ban message" reason to the actual user who gets banned, only to the audit log. here's what i said:

so, yknow, mea culpa. i've never had to ban someone from a server before. i still have not blocked her anywhere, and she is welcome to reach out if she needs someone else to reiterate for the hundredth time why exactly it's not okay to make your friends of colour hold your hand whenever you feel personally targeted by criticism. maybe she'll finally listen if it comes from a white person. i chose to kick her from these games because i am defensive over the people that i care for and i don't want to expose them to someone who will turn around and be mean to them behind their back. that sucks. (she is also a very frustrating player and dm, which is unrelated to this conflict, but which made it easier.) (yknow when you have little frustrations for a while and then something Happens and you see that it's part of a bigger pattern? it's like that.)

the private conflicts i am largely eliding at the request of the people involved. i do feel it's important context that this entire fight started in private because liza got upset that a mutual friend of ours did not notify her before dating someone, despite that friend having turned her down explicitly and kindly four years ago. she proceeded to, again, get in our dms and say cruel shit about how that person wasn't "emotionally mature enough" for a relationship. i guess it would've been different if they'd been dating her? who knows. that's why i called it strahdlike behaviour—i was specifically talking about carrying that torch for someone who doesn't want to date you, getting upset at them when they dare to have their own life, and burning the friendship down over it.

(since you were also in that server, you may be able to figure out some of the people i haven't named but am talking about; i'd appreciate keeping their names out of it, because they really just want to not engage with this anymore at this point. it's been like, days of intense anxiety at the fear of reprisal. i'm also sticking to one pronoun throughout for clarity, but liza uses all pronouns to the best of my current knowledge.)

also i fully understand if it's hard to take me at my word for this because it's effectively hearsay. i'm trying to walk a line here between protecting the mental health of people involved and being clear about what happened and what i wish she would take from this. if there's anything that i can clear up please let me know. if folks from that server want to talk my dms are also open. i didn't want to burn the bridge initially! i only got this angry when she wouldn't stop and then turned around and tried to make this my loved ones' fault. it's genuinely really sad seeing her spiral out like this. i want her to get help and to sit with the uncomfortable emotions, look them in the eye, and learn from them. i want her to go to therapy for ocd. she is uniquely poised to do so with the resources she has. i've talked to her about it before and been responsible for fielding conflicts between her and other people. we cannot save her from her own privilege. that's hers to interrogate. i wish her well, we just can't be responsible for telling her that everything she does is justified and okay anymore.

[markantonys]

what's wrong with book!Min (gave up on books right now because i can't anymore, i'm on 4th I think? she is just not there)

book 5 is exactly when she started sucking haha so you stopped at the right time! i do get into some spoilers here, though i tried not to say anything too specific that you wouldn't have already known from the first few books (such as the fact that rand has multiple girlfriends and min is one, which her viewing revealed in book 2). also, maybe you won't even want to read this if you'd rather let your opinion of show!min continue on untainted, because i will say that 90+% of the things i'm about to complain about are very unlikely to be a thing in the show.

basically she just gets hit with an abysmal case of Men Writing Women: out of the blue she decides to throw her whole life away to chase rand down and make him love her, she changes her whole personality and style to try to cater to what she thinks rand would find attractive (i'm all for wanting to look hot for your man, but min herself doesn't seem to enjoy her new clothes or find them comfortable, and that's a problem), she stops having any relationships or connections outside of rand, she barely has scenes with anyone but him and in ensemble scenes she's just there to cling sexily onto him while having 0 dialogue because she has nothing to contribute to the plot-relevant discussion going on, she has no storyline besides barnacling herself to his side and being on tap for sex 24/7, she has no narrative role or in-world obligations besides Being Rand's Girlfriend, etc.

and on top of all that, you have fandom calling her ~Best Girl~ and saying that she is the only one of the 3 women who deserves to be with rand because she Puts Her Man First like a Good Girlfriend should, and fuck the other two for having the audacity to have responsibilities outside of being his girlfriend. fuck them for actually being complex, well-rounded characters with independent storylines and character arcs, right? we only like female characters who exist to serve men's storylines!

and on top of all THAT, she DOESN'T EVEN serve rand's storyline! she literally doesn't do anything! she always makes me think of the "let me ask you a very fair question. what DO you do successfully?" vine. you could cut her out of the entire series and very little would change. min fans claim that she was integral to keeping rand anchored during dark times because min and rand claim that is the case, but the actual scenes between them in the text do not back up that claim. i can think of ONE scene where min actually makes an effort to have a serious conversation with rand about what's worrying him; every other time she just stops his doom-and-gloom talk by punching him or waving knives at him or distracting him with sex. and the way people put her up on a pedestal for taking care of rand at his worst (which she doesn't actually do anyway) is a romanticization of the shitty idea that it's a woman's job to be the sole emotional dumping ground for her male partner. i guess it could simply be that Dating Your Therapist is a romance trope i personally dislike, but ugh, i HATE that vibe of their relationship and especially of the way the fandom talks about their relationship.

and on top of all THAT, their relationship is totally logic-breaking at times because rand will go "i'm so isolated and alone! i'm going to go snuggle up in bed with my live-in girlfriend and think about how isolated i am." he will go "i am so dangerous, i have to push away everyone i love! come on min, i'm taking you into the most dangerous magical event of the age during which many channelers will show up to attack us, even though you're a defenseless civilian and there's no reason you need to be there." it feels like RJ wanted to give rand an isolation arc but also wanted him to have a sexy mistress on his arm at all times, and could not understand that those two things are mutually exclusive (unless said mistress is just no-strings-attached sex, but that was not intended to be the case here, although the cognitive dissonance often makes it feel like rand DOES see min as just no-strings-attached sex rather than a real person whose safety he needs to worry about).

her behavior about the whole romantic situation also drives me nuts because she is SO possessive and jealous, which i personally absolutely hate in romantic relationships, though some people do find it attractive, including min herself - there's a scene where she tries to make rand jealous because she thinks it makes the sex hotter and i was like girl wtf? get some dignity. actually "girl wtf? get some dignity" is my attitude towards all her behavior about the relationship because listen, i fully support girls being silly over their crushes, but christ alive the way min comports herself brings me so much secondhand embarrassment. she'll be like "i'm sooooo mature and worldly, i will never lose my head over a man like OTHER women do, because i am Not Like Other Girls, i'm superior to them" (the Not Like Other Girls vibes is another huge annoyance about her character & fandom reception of her character) and then she'll proceed to go plop down into rand's lap and dandle herself on his knee in the middle of a political meeting to show off to everyone present that he belongs to her. girl, you are a grown-ass woman! get some dignity! she also has a shitty attitude towards the polycule situation, i won't say more since the details of that are beyond book 4 and this post is also getting super long, but suffice it to say that, surprise surprise, possessive and jealous people do not work well in polyamorous relationships.

but most of the above is the fault of the author (or the fandom), not the character. i can't exactly separate the two while reading because "RJ is writing min badly" very quickly blurred into "i feel super annoyed every time she is onscreen" very quickly blurred into "i can't stand this character," but it does mean that the show has a good chance to fix most or all of these problems with her because they aren't necessarily intrinsic to her characterization, they're just symptoms of RJ's weird ideas about het romance and gender norms. the show making her a world-weary 30-something-year-old who takes no shit and who is GNC in a queer-presenting genuinely-doesn't-care-what-straight-men-think-of-her-looks way rather than a not-like-other-girls-tomboy-who-still-caters-to-the-male-gaze way is already a HUGE step in the right direction!

[ridiasfangirlings]

I see a lot of patient x therapist in sarumi but it's illegal, so I propose a much more interesting plot: Urologist!Yata x Patient!Fushimi.

Could Yata even handle being a urologist XD Maybe he initially started studying when someone suggested it as a way to deal with his girl issues, like hey maybe you’ll be less nervous around girls if you think of them only in clinical terms (this backfires though, Yata can now handle seeing a girl with her pants off but he only thinks about health things, and meanwhile women in low cut shirts still make him blush and stutter). Fushimi is also the type who definitely avoids doctors and normally would never see a specialist, he probably had to be forced into it. Like Fushimi works for a private detective force and due to his bad diet he has frequent health issues. At some point he’s dealing with significant issues going to the bathroom and having pain, all of which he’s blithely trying to ignore, until his boss Munakata makes him an appointment and gives him no choice but to either go to the doctor or be fired (and while Fushimi would love to be like good I quit he does need this job, because he’s not going groveling back to his parents for money and his bad personality makes it hard to be hired by anyone besides someone who is in their own way equally twisted).

Fushimi ends up in the urologist office all hunched and grumpy on the examination table, waiting for the doctor to show up. When Yata walks in Fushimi’s all ‘I thought I was seeing a doctor, not a shrimp who’s still in high school.’ Yata’s immediately like shut up I’m a med student in college asshole, and I’m totally capable of handling your problems. Fushimi finds it pretty funny that his doctor is being so foul mouthed, like does your school know you talk to patients like this. Yata stutters and quickly tries to move on, like can we just discuss your medical history. Fushimi’s much more relaxed now, he doesn’t particularly want to discuss any of his medical issues (mainly because he never goes to a doctor so he doesn’t actually know what most of those are) but he can at least have some fun with this. Poor Yata is having trouble keeping up, he’s doing his best but this guy keeps being such an asshole it’s hard to maintain a professional demeanor. He does manage to get some info from Fushimi about the problem and assumes it’s a urinary tract infection, he prescribes some medicine and is happy to get that jerk out of his office.

Except the medicine doesn’t work and Fushimi reluctantly shows back up at Yata’s office mocking him for being such a shitty student that he couldn’t fix the problem. Yata grumbles like well if you weren’t being such a jerk maybe I could have examined you properly. Fushimi’s like you’re shirking your duty Misaki, Yata covers his name badge with a hand all that’s doctor Yata you bastard. Yata threatens Fushimi with a rectal exam and Fushimi’s like oh are you that interested in me. For the first time in a long while Yata gets all red, he thought he’d gotten over being embarrassed about doing this kind of thing but Fushimi just keeps throwing him off balance. He does need to do some examinations that require Fushimi to take his pants off though and it’s suddenly so awkward, like normally Yata always sees this as just medicine but now for the first time he feels like he’s really looking at another guy’s dick and he’s flustered.

It eventually turns out that Fushimi has like kidney stones, Yata can remove them but of course this requires more of Fushimi lying down with no pants on. Yata manages to fumble his way through the whole thing and afterward he’s trying to be professional again, discussing diet and such, and that’s when he finds out that Fushimi eats like a four year old. Yata starts lecturing him on proper nutrition and Fushimi clicks his tongue all ‘don’t want to,’ without even thinking Yata slips out a ‘if I have to I’ll go over to your place and make you healthy meals myself.’ Fushimi responds with ‘fine, come over then,’ intending to say it in mocking tones but it just comes out as a blunt acceptance of Yata’s inadvertent invitation. The two of them stare at each other, both thinking they should take that back but of course neither one is willing to swallow their pride and go back on those words, so Yata’s like ‘o-okay…where do you live?’. After Fushimi leaves Yata’s immediately freaking out like did I just ask that total jerk out on a date, and meanwhile Fushimi is outside the office all irritated at himself and thinking about how stupid he is, why would he want that shrimp to come over and make him dinner. He tells himself well maybe I can just tease him and it will be entertaining, not willing to in any way think further on why for once he’s actually showing interest in another person.

[hoes4hoseok]

enhypen as emails i can't send

txt version ☆ folklore version ☆ masterlist

y'all i'm having so much fun doing these w my cat in my lap and the rain pouring outside 🤧 so good. anyways i'm literally seeing sabrina in 2 weeks! i'm so excited <3 maybe i'll post the txt version after the concert 😊

heeseung as tornado warnings

"i guess maybe that's why i'm lying to my therapist, i keep saying things like 'i never saw him & we never kissed'"

clinging to a relationship or situationship with heeseung despite the red flags is something i feel in my bones. i'd do that.

&& that's essentially what the song is about...lying to your therapist because you know hee is a walking red flag & isn't good for you, yet you're doing it anyways (come on y'all,, self-respect!!)

but admittedly, i even do that for people who aren't heeseung, so for him, i could overlook quite a bit.

my point is...heeseung would make moving on hard by existing

also...don't lie to your therapist. it's a waste of money.

sunghoon as how many things

"i wonder how many things you wanna do, you think i'm in-between"

i can see sunghoon getting over you faster than you do him. or at least him being able to hide it better.

&& yeah he might care about you...but he is not thinking about you nearly as much as you are him (even when you're trying your absolute hardest to limit it)

the feeling is even worse if you're still technically dating which would literally be the worst because it's a slowburn break-up who wants that?!

&& it sucks, the feeling sucks & my point is that sunghoon would probably make you feel it 🙂💔

this song makes me SICK sometimes because it's painfully relatable & this connection makes it kinda better?? or worse?? proably worse. 🤧

jungwon as nonsense

"lookin' at you got me thinkin' nonsense, cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in"

before you jump me...yes, i considered jake. i thought he fit bad for business better though 👊 so jungwon got nonsense 🫶🏽

&& i will stand by my decision!! because i just know he's the type of guy who (while very approachable) would be so hard to talk to if you had a crush on him

it's such a cute song & i can vividly picture tripping over my words in front of him & having zero personality because i can't think straight

if any of y'all get a shot with him...good luck soldier 🫡

ni-ki as fast times

"these are fast times & fast nights, yeah, no time for rewrites, we couldn't help it"

this song is about a youthful & impulsive relationship,, so ni-ki was the obvious fit

i can imagine ni-ki & his partner making really bad decisions while dating, at least at the very beginning

like he'd probably convince you to climb on a private rooftop or crash an engagement party with him

&& the relationship might just go way faster than intended

sometimes they're really shitty decisions, but sometimes they're not which is what matters!! sort of??

jake as bad for business

"he's good for my heart, but he's bad for business, tears me apart when he grants my wishes"

if people hated you for dating jake...you probably wouldn't care lmfaooo you're the one cuddling with him 🫶🏽

now, if you were both idols (let's put on our imagination caps 🧢) & it was affecting your job like in the song -- that sucks, & he'd try his best to make sure it doesn't hurt you, but...there's not much to be done sometimes

you're strong though you got through it :)

"never been so glad to be so tired" yeah. that checks out.

it's just such a cute song & it almost always reminds me of him now hehe

jay as opposite

"i know now, that even if i try to change, that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway"

this song makes me sick because it's so relatable (part 2)

the whole idea that ur partner isn't actually attracted to you while you're dating is so scary

clearly, there's no proof of that being the case in this song...but it's the conclusion she jumped to when they dated someone who looked nothing like her right after

i think jay might do that. probably unintentionally, but still.

if the relationship went sour, he might want change & go for someone different, whether in personality or in looks

&& it would feel so shitty, but you'd make it out & do the same thing eventually :D

sunoo as feather

"i feel so much lighter like a feather with you out my life"

to whoever is reading this...sorry. you're the problem he's the one who feels lighter after dropping YOU 🙄🤷‍♀️

okay but for real...sunoo would take a hot minute to calibrate & get over you but after that period he is DONE

he's gonna be civil with you but he's cackling with his buddies afterwards. he's FINE.

i hope you are too ;)

txt version ☆ folklore version ☆ masterlist

[ohmygillygoshoppler]

Let's hear them secret scientist headcannons, Ma. Pretty please 🙏🥺

huehuheuheuhwlhbsjhbclah~ y’all know what it is, mostly rambling I wrote most of this waiting for the dentist lol

Drew (Audrey do not call her that omg Saturday)

Mama’s albino. Isee it with my eyes and just feel it in my bones. She’s pale, her hair is pale, I she even had baby blues in TGIS so, yeah. 

Drew isn’t a huge fan of chocolate, opposites since Mom Monday had a thing for cocoa. Maybe she doesn’t have a thing for sweets in general? Like I can see Drew as more of a FoodSnack person rather than SweetSnack person. She’ll be like, “I want a snack,” And spend like 2 hours prepping the stuff for a food item that will be gone in 20 minutes and somehow, she’ll find a way to convince Doc to “help” with the cleanup after.

She always wanted a big family, But only managed to have Zak. She loves her family regardless, it's just not the way she thought they'd be. I mean, come on; Her and Doc are so romantic all the time, like there’s no way they woulda stopped at just one. If she could have given Zak a sibling, she would have, but it wasn’t in the cards. So, adoption, lmao.

My girl is a mystic through and through but she is not mystically inclined. She could tear out her hair and make a deal with the devil, and still not be able to conjure her own magic at all, but she is so well versed in it, you’d think she was a sorcerer or something. (Maybe she could, oh I dunno, help her magical buddies out with that know-how, huh?)

Doc “Solomon” Saturday

My guy has some serious PTSD and OCD issues that he hasn’t quite sorted out, and I’ll bet he’s scared to go into it given all the times he’s started talking about it, only to immediately shut himself up about it.

Like, seriously, my man needs a therapist.

I’m laughing and wringing my hands together like Argost himself thinking about all the fun times we’re gonna have with mr. Magic Doesn’t Exist now that he’s gotta help his new Angel Daughter find her friends. Sorry Solomon, but you’re gonna have an aneurysm.

Doyle Blackwell  **Professional Uncle

Such a cool dude, he can’t drink alcohol because he’s too cool to get buzzed (he's allergic to alcohol and will turn beet red after one drink help this poor man)

I get a lot of, “I dont deserve an apartment,” vibes from this guy so I say he needs more “Chillin at home with the fam,” And less “Shitty hostels wherever the cheapest.” Also man needs a gf (or bf, ffs nobody want him fr!!11!)

He's bi, and I know cuz he told me lmao

Paul Cheechoo (Uncle Bear!👏🏼 Uncle Bear! 👏🏼Uncle Bear!👏🏼)

Okokokokok, so I am super super projecting here because Cheechoo deadass reminds me of an uncle who is A.) also native af, we’re not Inuit but were fuckin n8v; and B.) also a fuckin geologist lesgoooooo

So guys got a big family, huge actually. Lots of cousins and nieces and nephews and aunties and uncles and such- making it a bit hard and a bit sad keeping the whole Secret Scientist thing away from his family. Especially after the Weird world incident when he became withdrawn from them, fearing Argost might do something horrible to his kin. So, he kept mostly to himself, confiding only in his fellow scientists.

I feel like his sarcasm and friendly demeanor is so sweet and endearing, especially for someone so friggin big, I mean good god- Look at this man. The friendly giant trope always gets me, so what? BUT! That being said, I’d like to think that sometimes my guy forgets how big he is… Like, we’ve seen how this guy gets tossed around like a ragdoll, maybe he also forgets he’s a brick shithouse, given all the times he’s gotten his ass whooped.

Man is Golden Retriever coded, and I wanna eat him alive for it./pos

Arthur Fuckin Beeman

My man! *kills him again and again and again and again an-*

Also, I love how we all saw this man, we all looked at each other, and we all said, “Yeah, he's autistic af.” Like, it's very clear that this man’s brain works… differently from others.

My brother once said, Liaos from Dungeon Meshi if he didn’t want to eat the aliens he just wanted to hang out and honestly…. Werk.

Does this man deserve an arc? Not really, but do I wanna put him in a few fucked up situations? Hang him upside down and shake him till all his tokens fall out? Maybe. Maybe Zak’ll help me, too. Shit…

Miranda Grey (Big Grey)

Ooooooohohohohohohohohoooo~ We hardly got anything with you, Doctor. Which means I can do whatever, and I both hate and love that-

I know you love your sister~ I know you’re sad about her betrayal~~ I know you’re hurting, girly, I know your devastated inside and you can’t do anything about it because so much shit is falling apart around you and now your sister fucked over the only people you can call friends, fuck you Miranda! Eat shit and die! ILY!!

I reeeeeeaaaaly think she’s guilty about what she’s done to the Saturdays, especially Zak, so maybe she might try and say or do something to try and make amends, but how? Thats a good question… I wanna know too, lmao.

Abbey Grey (Little Grey)

Ooooooooooooooooh~~~

I have plans for you, stupid bitch……

Agent Ex husband

The scariest mfer in all existence, most stifled man in all existence, omg. If War were ever made a fucking human, Epsilon would be his fate, and holy fuck- Yeah. Stoic? Check. Bound by a strict code of ethics/honor? Check. Big As Shit? Check. Scary????? Umm, yeah. My mans a Horseman.

Wants to be loved. Wants to rest. Wants to have a cigarette for the first time in years. Wants some coffee with extra cream and sugar. Does he deserve it? No,not really. But he does need it. His soul needs a good kneading, like dough.

However, he is fucked up for the way he raised Francis and how he’s always shutting hom down and telling him how his thoughts don’t matter like, damn, just tell the boy he aint shit why dont you-

I feel like, if I give Francis an arc, Epsilon should have one too. I wanna know more about him- surprise surprise- and what makes him tick. We see in the show that there is some care for Francis, we see as much when he gets so mad at Francis for not quickly following his instructions, but that begs the question; does he actually care, or is he protecting his interests, so to speak? Lots to learn, lots to pick apart.

[vixensheart]

“Good morning!” Charlie clapped her hands together, smile wide despite the obvious dark circles beneath her eyes. “I know things are a little… iffy with the uh, looming extermination—” 

Across the room, Alastor hummed, staticky and patronizing, his tight-lipped smile making Husk’s fur prickle at his neck, his shoulders. He sat in his favorite plush chair with legs crossed, a steaming cup of tea in one hand and a crisp newspaper in the other. Not once did he glance up from his reading, but he didn’t have to—his shadow stretched up along the wall, its smile eerie and visible despite the fact it shouldn’t be. 

Husk grit his teeth, tail flicking at his feet in agitation. A knee knocked into his—Cherri offered a small smile, a simple little reminder he wasn’t alone. Husk let his fur ease, the tension along his shoulder loosen. Still, the oppressive presence of Alastor buzzed at the back of his awareness, ever-present and domineering. 

“—but, well, extermination or not, we’re still trying our best!” Charlie’s eye twitched, the singular crack in her cheery exterior. “Which leads us to today’s lesson!” She gestured at the board with her ruler. Today’s scrawl read, It Starts With Sorry: Repentance and Asking Forgiveness, a sloppy red heart doodled at the end. Husk quirked a brow. 

“Haven’t we already gone over all this, princess?” he asked. “I mean, you sang a whole song about it and everything.” 

Charlie laughed, reedy and strained, and rubbed at the back of her neck. “I—I mean, sort of, I guess. But! Not everyone was there for that lesson! And, also, it never hurts to talk about it all again. I mean, apologizing when you’ve done something wrong is super important!” 

“Besides,” Vaggie said, eye narrowed and face pinched, “we didn’t really get into how forgiveness isn’t always an option and shouldn’t be why you apologize for being shitty. You should apologize to take accountability for your actions and to, like, make it clear you’re going to try to not do it again. Not to make yourself feel better or to earn a pat on the back from someone else’s forgiveness.” 

Accountability, huh? It made sense. Husk could certainly think of situations where forgiveness wasn’t owed—situations he himself caused in life. But, how could he take accountability when the people he wronged weren’t here? 

“Right—accountability and self-awareness can help us make better choices,” Charlie said, and if it weren’t for the dripping sincerity in her voice, Husk would think she was parroting some script from a therapist’s brochure or something of the ilk. She pushed stray hairs away from her face, smile softening to something almost quiet. “But, it’s also important, I think, to confront the things you regret the most and forgive yourself, because sometimes? Sometimes we’re hardest on ourselves for our failings.” 

Forgive. Himself? 

It was strange, but suddenly, Husk couldn’t hear Charlie anymore. 

No. No, all he could hear was a ringing, sharp and piercing. 

But, it’s also important to confront the things you regret the most and forgive yourself.  

His stomach clenched. Twisted. The room around him smeared into blurs of shapes and concepts of colors, and he found breathing suddenly difficult. Why. Why was it difficult? What…? 

It’s important to forgive yourself. 

The floor cracked, fractured, fell out from beneath him, and Husk was free falling into the dark and endless abyss within himself with not a damn thing to catch onto. 

📖

Read the rest on Ao3!

[halfmoth-halfman]

I'm trusting you when you say canary is gonna have it light from here on out but I do wonder how the 141 will like react when they find out they betrayed someone so close and loyal like the one thing they're very big on is unconditional loyalty especially to family and to find out they did the very thing that they despise I'm excited to see how they deal with it I'm also excited to see how gaz personally will because he's been loyal to the end so I can imagine him being like " wtf guys this is what you did to my bestie apologize 😕😤"

but idk something in me say's some of them probably don't see what they did as wrong like I feel like someone is gonna deflect and be like " well shit we had reason to we saw it with our eyes" like that's an excuse especially since it's like... well what did you think he was gonna do let her parade the stage like a beaten potato? Ofc he lied to you and made her seem ok! He's a liar!! You fool

And I also think price knows this and won't put with anyone treating her bad from here on out and I can only imagine how shitty he feels like yo best girl just thrown to the wolves by your own accord because you fell for the same lies she warned you about (major trust issues see a therapist bro) like I'd die from guilt

Also he said something about "finding her" like dude where the hell were you looking?? And for a long time??? You didn't think to check the few places she mentioned or where graves was?? As if she literally didn't run away because she knew he would come for her and literally told you that she couldn't be there because of that and was in danger like??!?!??!!???!!!? Also going back to that no one followed her ?? No one tracked down the car ? And saw the scene?? Like there was to many things backing up her case for everyone to just turn on her especially after all that she explained even if it was a tiny bit someone was doing overtime to make sure she looked as guilty as possible

But yeah Sorry if this was mad long but I'm literally throwing up, chewing my nails, rocking back and forth, and kicking my feet this such a juicy heart racing story 🫶🏾🤍

that's actually going to be a very big talking point in the next few chapters because family's the most important thing to them, right? it's family above all else, the money, the business, everything. and a big part of that is because price doesn't run his business through fear and manipulation like makarov and graves, he relies on trust and loyalty which makes for a stronger crew. and now, here's someone who has been unconditionally loyal to them (moreso than some of their own people) and they've not only betrayed her but outright mistreated and punished her. that's going to cause some major in-house problems esp regarding gaz who has never once doubted her.

there will be talks about both sides, because yes, from their side it can look suspicious and there's just enough evidence for them to make that leap in deduction, but i don't think anyone would excuse what's happened just because of that. i think the bigger issue would be admitting that graves was able to manipulate them enough to think canary was a traitor, esp when so many of them think they're smarter than him.

i know we've all established that canary and ghost are gonna go through it™️, but oh man price. he's gonna need to have his own healing journey just from the guilt and the blame he's (rightfully) putting on himself. like to straight up accuse canary of lying about what graves put her through while she's sitting there trying to hide the bruises from him??? i can imagine he wouldn't stand for anyone mistreating her, but i also think he's gonna have a hard time facing her.

there'll be more on that and what the 141 was doing in general during those five months in the next couple of chapters, because you're right!! it's incredibly suspicious that no one found her, that no one tracked the car, or that looking into graves wasn't the first thing they did 👀

no worries, i enjoy the long asks and all of the theories and questions!! makes me feel like kicking my feet and twirling my hair 💜

[heir-less]

How do you know that William doesn’t have therapy? He seems like a good communicator so he probably just talks to Kate and his family! I don’t believe the anger issues for one second because the only time we have seen him angry is the paparazzi video from a couple of years ago and that was on behalf of his family! It’s actually disgusting that the media are trying to portray him as this because he is only ever gentle with Kate and their children! If he was like this you would notice the aggressiveness in their children whereas they are so loving/caring

I know this because William has said it himself, Harry has said it himself, and it has been confirmed that William has never been to therapy and he was open about it during Heads Together with Kate and William stating that they didn't "need" it as opposed to Harry. It's not a private thing that he doesn't say and it's left ambiguous, he has said that he's never been, the furthest thing he's done is be sort of introspective and talk about his experiences working in the military and losing his mother.

In one of the best interviews he's ever done (I'm being genuine here, it's really good) he said this to British GQ:

No I have not talked to a specialist or anyone clinical, but I have friends who are good listeners, and, on grief, I find talking about my mother and keeping her memory alive very important. I find it therapeutic to talk about her, and to talk about how I feel. SOURCE

It should be noted that I am not talking about grief. If William finds himself more content to talk with friends and family over a therapist, that is his prerogative. What I'm talking about is his alleged anger issues, which could be a symptom of his grief. However, the two are different, grief is a very normal and natural emotion.

Having anger issues and being violent and verbally aggressive with people is not normal and it actual professional intervention. These are all assumptions I'm making based on how the palace and other entities like the media portray William. I'm not diagnosing him with anything, but at some point, you gotta call a spade a spade.

I honestly believe that if William were a celebrity and not a royal people would be more concerned about his well-being. especially when juxtaposed with Harry's own experiences. A lot of the trauma Harry has is shared with William.

Also, I know I harp on it, but Kate is not a mental health professional. Will can communicate and talk to her, which is obviously awesome and good, but that doesn't compensate for professional help. I don't know why Kate is always assigned the role of William's carer in the media. What about her mental health? Why should William rely on Kate so much when the media is stirring things up about this dynamic and writing shitty articles about how it's caused them to get into fights? We know that royals are swayed enough by the media to cut people off and become distrustful of others.

TW ABUSE AND SA UNDER THE CUT

Also, I don't think William abuses his children or something, but the "we would be able to tell" line of thinking is very narrow.

There are plenty of abusers who were known to be gentle/charismatic/nice in public. That's usually how they convince people to not believe their victims. Take someone like Bill Cosby, who was portrayed as very a very straight-laced, father-figure for decades while being a serial rapist and abuser. Again, I am not calling William Bill Cosby, I'm just making a point about how abusers usually don't come across as pieces of shit on the surface.