#also can my dad characters stop dYING PLEASE

[yakool-foolio]

I just realized something cute.

So y'know how Yuma suddenly gets his hat n cape during the prologue as he n Yakou are heading to the rooftop? Well that obviously means the only way he could've gotten them was from Yakou. The hat has the WDO symbol after all, so these weren't bought. This means that the hat n cape were clothes given to Yakou that he either obtained during his time as a trainee or was mailed to him when he arrived back in Kanai Ward after his training. In addition, the two of them didn't even go to the agency beforehand, Yakou had the hat n cape with him the whole time on his way to save Yuma. He was ready and waiting to give Yuma his own attire since he didn't have any of his own, it's so sweet.

Also the idea of a younger Yakou wearing the hat n cape with his own WDO uniform like the train group is really adorable, we need more pre-game Yakou content in this world.

[beomiracles]

⌞ 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ⌝

DREAM RECALL “You know what I think of you?” He says, the bed squeaking as he leans forward, dangerously close. “I think you’re scared.” He drawls, eyes boring into your own with such vigor that you almost felt pity for the anger that consumed him. How miserable he must be to live like that. — “I’m not scared.” You calmly state, shifting against the pillows as you instinctively try to create distance between the two of you. Quickly taking note of your hesitant body language, he smirks, “no? Then prove it.”

“Prove that you’re not afraid of the darkness, of my darkness.”

wc -> 17k (oopsie daises)

pairings stepbrother!beomgyu x stepsister!reader warnings stepcest, daddy issues, some mommy issues, character death, emo/punk!beomgyu + he has an eyebrow piercing, major asshole!beomgyu, mentions of alcoholism, lots of arguing, angsty as shit but with a happy ending, talks of grief and letting go, smut (again, stepcest), virgin!reader, loss of virginity, softdom!gyu but he's also a menace, guilt ridden sex, unprotected + pullout, handjob + vaginal fingering, some cum eating, use of "sis" both outside and during the smut (I cannot stress this enough), might be teetering on the edge of dubious consent at some points but nothing crazy. dead dove do not eat

#serene adds ✎ I have no clue of how this happened lol. PLEASE read every single warning I am begging you. don't read this if as much as one single tag made you waver. ⎯ aside from like the fact that it's stepcest, I fucking love this whole fic. I'm so proud of it and I would actually cry if someone (who got through it) would be up to share some thoughts :>

“There’s still time to turn back..” You mutter as you lean against the leather of the passenger seat. Listening to the bustling engine slowly dying out as the car comes to a stop. “Come on princess, don’t be like that.” Your dad sighs as he retrieves the key, turning it between his fingers. “You knew that this move was coming and-“ — “Yeah, I did. But not this soon, not now.” You argue, folding your arms across your chest in defiance. “You could’ve at least waited until I was out of college, until I had gotten my own place.” 

More than anything you wished to be able to change your father’s mind, to turn things back to how they were before he met Ms Choi. But that was of course impossible, and now you were paying the price for not getting a room on campus. “But look on the bright side, it’s a mere fifteen minute drive to school, and Beomgyu has his license, I’m sure he could take you someday.” Your dad tries, a small smile on his face. — You grimaced at the name, your chest churning in disgust at the mere thought of sharing a car with that thing. 

A tap to your window makes you turn your head in its direction. There stood Ms Choi, she sends you a small wave and before you know it, your father had climbed out of the vehicle, leaving you to sulk. Their voices are muffled through the thick glass but you can see them enveloping each other in a tender hug, your dad leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek. With a small grimace your gaze flickers to the small bracelet around your wrist, its fine silver glinting in the sun and your chest contracts slightly. You supposed you should feel happy for him, it had been a long time since you’d last seen your father so at ease, so in love.  

And it wasn’t like you didn’t like his new girlfriend, no you were quite fond of Ms Choi. She was nice, often bringing freshly baked cookies whenever she came over, remembering your favorite foods as she made them when you visited. Most importantly she made your dad feel things he hadn’t felt since the passing of your mother. — You just couldn’t understand how such a sweet woman had managed to raise such a being of a son. 

Beomgyu was far from anything his mother represented. He was loud, obnoxiously so, his foul mouth going off every other second, spewing his hatred for the world and the people in it. Beomgyu listened to deranged music, the kind that made your ears bleed. He blamed his father for all his problems, not to mention taking his pent up anger out on his sweet mom. — The black charcoal around his eyes represented that of the rotting darkness slowly eating away at his soul, and you wondered if Beomgyu had always been angry. Perhaps he came out like that, you were almost certain that he was a menace even as a small baby. 

You had been to Ms Choi’s house a handful of times. It was a small two story flat, neatly decorated in light and inviting shades and smelled of roses. Had it not been for the first room to the right on the second floor, you would’ve probably loved it there. — The small hallway is familiar as you stumble inside, a heavy suitcase clutched tightly in your grasp. “Oh dear, let me help you with that”, Ms Choi fusses as she reaches for your bag but you merely shake your head, “I’m fine miss, don’t worry”, you assure her. 

She turns to your dad who was carrying at least twice your baggage as he walked up the dainty pathway leading to the house. “Beomgyu ought to come down and be of some assistance”, she murmurs as she throws a glance over her shoulder, her eyes traveling up the staircase by the end of the hall. — “I’m sure we’ll be fine!” You quickly chirp, dreading the thought of having to deal with him so soon. But there was no changing Ms Choi’s mind as she immediately calls out for her nuisance of a son. 

You swallow thickly as an eerie silence follows, your dads girlfriend huffs out a short breath as she fiddles with the jewelry around her neck. “Beomgyu! Come down here!” The nervous edge to her voice was palpable and part of you took pity on the sweet lady for being stuck with such a being in her house, no less as her biological child. 

Soon the floorboards above you creak, the old house immediately giving away the presence of someone else on the top floor. You tried tearing your gaze from the stairs, but it seemed impossible as Beomgyu’s figure emerged. His step is heavy as he drags his feet across the floor, his hair had grown longer since last you’d seen him, and that was over four months ago. You often did your best in avoiding him, thus leading the two of you to meeting less than a dozen times during the two years in which your parents had been pursuing one another. Well to hell with that plan now, you thought. 

“Hi darling, why don’t you say hi to-” — “I know who she is.” He cuts her off, sparing you a mere side glance before his gaze shifts to your dad struggling with the suitcases, a look of distaste on his face. “A-Alright”, Ms Choi clears her throat as she motions toward your father, “why don’t you help bring their stuff inside.” She receives only a small huff from her son as Beomgyu pushes past the two of you to venture outside. You don’t miss the flicker of disappointment on his mother’s face. No matter what he did, she would always cherish and protect him. You couldn’t understand why. — She turns to you with an apologetic smile, “your room is down the hall to the right.” 

The stairs felt eternal as you pulled your suitcase up, intent on not needing any extra hands. And when you finally reach flat ground, you heave a sigh. Though the comforting peace was short-lived as the thumping beat of a heavy bass filled your eardrums, the sound overpowering that of the wheels on your suitcase as you rolled it along the wooden floor. With a frown you near the first door, it was slightly ajar, allowing for the ear piercing music to float out into the small corridor. Already familiar with the layout of the house, you recognized the room as Beomgyu’s, and as the owner in question was currently downstairs, you dared a small peek. 

You can’t remember actually being inside his room, merely passing it in search for the bathroom as the first floor lacked one. And it was unlike anything the rest of the house represented. It was messy and crammed. The once cream white walls were covered in a variety of posters portraying his favorite bands, one of which you guessed to currently be playing through the large speakers by his desk. — His bed looked as if it hadn’t been made in weeks, possibly months and he seemed to be making good use of his floor as an alternate wardrobe. His computer was on as well, the bright light of the screen catching your attention in the otherwise dim room as the curtains drawn prevented much sunlight from reaching through. 

Upon closer inspection your eyes widen as you realize what kind of video was playing. The almost naked woman in the footage emits a pornographic moan and your jaw slacks as you take a couple of steps back in complete disbelief. — The room was like a tainted mark left on an otherwise clean canvas. The black lungs of a smoker, rotten and decaying. The only flaw in an otherwise picture perfect home, and you would’ve probably pitied the poor soul living here had it not been Choi Beomgyu. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

The raspy voice sends a shiver down your spine as you twist on the spot, coming face to face with the inhabitant of the room you’d invaded. Beomgyu lingers in the doorway, your discarded suitcase lazily kicked to the side as his brows furrow, the glinting metal on one of them catching your eye, had he always had that piercing? — You gulp, fists clenching before relaxing again. 

“I uh…I was.. I was looking for my room..” The excuse was petty, and you knew he could tell by the way his lips pulled into a small grimace. “Well this certainly isn’t it.” He spits, taking a charging step forward and you feel yourself immediately faltering back against his desk. — “Out.” He grits, and you could’ve sworn you heard the way his teeth ground together as his jaw flexed.

Not having to be told twice, you quickly slip out of the room, the door being slammed shut on your ass in a mere second. “What a dick”, you mutter, though you supposed it was somewhat deserved as you went in his room without permission. — Your own bedroom, on the other hand, matched the rest of the house. It was small, barely fitting your bed and a study desk, but the window gazing out over the front yard was remarkable. Your fingers graze along the lace curtains as you think of the multiple ways in which you’d be able to decorate the tiny space. Perhaps living here could become somewhat bearable, you thought. 

⸝⸝

No. You quickly found that it would become most unbearable to thrive under this roof. Dinner was awkward. As awkward as it could possibly get. The air was dense, laying on top of your table like a thick blanket, enveloping your party of four in a stale silence. The sounds of silverware scraping against porcelain plates fill the dainty dining room. Every bite felt like a piece of rock sliding down your throat and no matter how hard you trained your gaze to the cut piece of meat in front of you, Beomgyu’s eyes felt like daggers on your skin. Was he still mad about earlier? 

“So, Beomgyu, I hear you’re about to start your senior year as well.” Your father clears his throat, turning to the younger male with a small smile. Beomgyu’s gaze finally shifts away from your near sweating figure and over to your dad as he sends him an almost unnoticeable nod. The statement made your eyebrows raise in surprise, he was a year older than you, shouldn’t he have graduated before summer? — Beomgyu answers your unspoken question in a bored sigh, “failed my last year.” 

“Oh but he’s worked hard to be able to retake his classes this upcoming semester!” His mother suddenly butts in as she places a hand on top of your father’s. You watch their small exchange before your eyes flit over to Beomgyu who looked almost disgusted at the close proximity your parents held. Of course he would be against it, you wondered if there was anything that didn’t make his nose scrunch up in disdain. 

“Then perhaps the two of you can study together?” Ms Choi suddenly exclaims as she looks to you with an expression best described as hopeful. “Your father tells me you do well in school.” — “Of course, my princess is in the top of her class”, your dad boasts as he flashes you a small grin. You sheepishly nod, cheeks reddening at the sudden attention directed your way. “Why, isn’t that an amazing idea, Beom?” His mother cheers to which her son grimaces, “wonderful.” 

You didn’t like Beomgyu. And you thought you had every reason not to. You had never met someone so completely disregarding of other people’s feelings. Someone so selfish and arrogant, someone who took so much for granted. Like his mom. — You supposed you envied him a little. Ms Choi was such a wonderful person, not to mention an amazing mother. You often found yourself reminiscing of what you’d lost when in her presence. But Beomgyu seemed to hold little affection for something you longed so desperately to have. — You remember the evening clearly, the first night you met, two years ago. 

Dinner was awkward even back then. 

You’re sat gathered around the very same table, in the very same seats. Back then you had a small crush on him, on Beomgyu. How could you not? He was everything you weren’t, everything you thought you wanted to be. The expressive t-shirt he wore, a band you didn’t recognize, but you guessed it to be some type of rock. His slightly baggy jeans, decorated with a few simple chains. Dark hair, though it was shorter back then, and of course, the liner around his eyes. It was impossible not to be drawn to him. But he didn’t look at you, not once. 

You helped your dad clear the table whilst Beomgyu accompanied his mom in the kitchen as she prepared dessert. “What do you think of her?” Your father asks with a hopeful smile. You knew that he was nervous about introducing someone new to you, and Ms Choi would be the first woman he’d seen since your mother’s passing. You weren’t oblivious to the fact that your approval weighed like a ton of bricks on your dads shoulders, and you didn’t want to let him down. 

“She seems sweet.” 

He sighs, a relieved sigh. “Do you like her?” You ask, unable to hide the small frown on your face. Your father remains silent for a moment, his hands busying themselves with stacking the plates on top of one another. “I do”, he nods, his face immediately lighting up as he sees your small smile. But before you get another word out, the voice of Ms Choi pierces the quaint house. 

Neither of you move, but the conversation between Beomgyu and his mother was no longer private. “Well if that’s how you really feel, then perhaps you’ll find your father’s place a more suitable living space.” Ms Choi exclaims, her voice is thick, as if on the verge of breaking at any given moment. A brief silence follows her words, and you hold your breath.

“That piece of shit lowlife?” Beomgyu suddenly seethes and his mom quickly interrupts him. “Don’t call him that.” She sounds almost pleading. — Her son chuckles and if you had been able to see him, you would guess that he was shaking his head. “You still let him get away with all the shit he’s done?” — “Oh come on, you know it’s not like that, Beom..” 

“He’s an asshole, mom.” Beomgyu finally states, his voice holds no resentment, in fact it barely holds any emotion at all. “And you, you’re both naive and stupid for thinking he’s anything else.” — Then he re-emerges from the kitchen, not sparing either you or your father as much as a second glance as he heads for the front door, it slams shut behind him, leaving the faint sobs of Ms Choi to echo through the small house. 

Your dad rushes to the kitchen, but you remain frozen in place. His small whispers of reassurance carry out into the dining room as he tries to comfort the crying mess that was his girlfriend. Your eyes flit between the small opening to the kitchen and the hallway; feeling more than conflicted as you gnaw on your bottom lip.

After a few moments of hesitation, you finally come to a decision as you tear yourself from your spot by the since long vacant table. Quietly, you retrace Beomgyu’s last steps and you, too, push the heavy door open. — The cold night air hits your bare arms making you wrap them around yourself as you begin walking down the gravel pathway. You really had no idea of where he might’ve gone, or how you were even supposed to find him. But as you push the squeaking fence gate open, you know that you won’t have to look far. 

Perched on the sidewalk, knees tucked to his chest, Beomgyu leans his chin on top of his folded arms. Drawing in a small breath, you muster up the courage to do what you had come out here for. — He doesn’t say anything as you take a seat beside him, mimicking his actions by pulling your knees to your chest as you wrap your arms around them. You weren’t exactly good at comforting people, but you knew what sadness felt like, it was all you had been able to feel for three months after your mother’s death. 

“You here to fuckin’ lecture me too?” He spits, his gaze is fixed on the asphalt road in front of him. Perhaps Beomgyu’s sadness was different from yours. You shake your head, though you’re unsure if he can even see it. And for a moment, everything is silent. There was a nervous feeling bubbling within your chest, you didn’t know if it was because of your small crush on him or because of the argument you just witnessed between him and his mom. The argument sounded stupid in your ears, and it got you wondering.. 

“Why do you hate your father?” Your words ring out in the quiet night air, and somewhere to your left, you feel Beomgyu shift against the concrete sidewalk. You guess he hadn’t expected the question. — “‘Cause he’s a piece of shit.” He huffs, though his voice lacks the spite it held when in discussion with his mom. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you frown. “But he’s still your father, isn’t he?” 

Beomgyu might as well have laughed in your face. He shakes his head, one of his hands ruffling through his dark hair before he lets it fall to his side. “That changes nothing”, he states. You were tempted to disagree, it changed everything, didn’t it? To hate someone, to hate someone so close to you, someone so important.. You don’t think you could ever hate your father. 

“Have you tried talking to him?” Perhaps it was a stupid proposal, but in truth, you were at loss for ideas. Beomgyu snorts, his worn out sneakers kicking a few small rocks as he lets them roll out across the street. “You can’t talk to someone like him, and even if I could, I would have nothing to say to him.” — He draws in a sharp breath, holding it for a good moment before he slowly lets it go. “Some people..” he begins, his fingers picking at a few strands of vegetation that had managed to seep through the cracks of the constructed road. “Some people don’t deserve to have kids, some people shouldn’t have them.” 

You’re silent after that, unsure of what to say. He was right, some people were not meant to be parents. You wondered what his dad could have possibly done to warrant such hatred from his only son. It felt wrong to pry, so you didn’t. He would tell you one day, when he was ready, at least you thought so. — “But your mom is–” 

“My mom is stupid.” He spits, his expression suddenly turning sour. You didn't like how Beomgyu spoke about his mother, or how he spoke to her. “She doesn’t understand how fucked up dad is, and she still defends him despite everything he’s done.” — He bites the inside of his cheek, his brows furrowing together as his gaze remains ahead. “She’s truly pathetic.” 

Your chest churned at the statement. And perhaps your relationship with Beomgyu would’ve turned out different, had you not said your next words. But you couldn’t help it, and you didn’t regret it either. “At least you have a mother.” It angered you. It angered you that he treated people so close to him with such hatred. Did he not understand? Not everyone had the privilege of seeing their mom everyday, not everyone got to feel her warm embrace, eat her food, have her kiss your cheek. 

Beomgyu’s hatred was selfish. He was selfish. Because you would have done anything to see your mother one last time. — He turns to you, and for the first time that night, he looks at you. “And that makes you so special?” His gaze narrows down on you, the dark liner around his eyes only makes his expression look twice as gloomy. “You think you’re the only one who’s life is shit just because your mom went and died?” 

His words stung, like salt on a fresh wound, slowly being rubbed in. You fight back the tears that were prickling in the corners of your eyes. You just wanted to help. But you were obviously not very good at comforting people, still, you thought that he might’ve been at least a little understanding. How idiotic of you. Beomgyu rises to his feet, giving the gravel beneath him one final kick as it flies everywhere. 

“Don’t think you know the first thing about me just because you’ve heard me and my mom argue once.” His expression darkens even further in the pale night, and you swallow a small sob. “And don’t for a second think that we have anything in common, or that you have the right to talk to me like that.” He snaps, hands digging into the denim of his jeans, the chains on them rattling as he does. 

“It’s not my fault your mommy died, but let me give you a piece of advice yeah?” He leans down, his face inches from your own and you resist the urge to pull back, instead blinking up at him as a nasty sneer casts over his features. “Get over it.” 

With that, he straightens himself back up, letting out a small scoff as he turns on his heel before venturing down the street. — Beomgyu didn’t come back home that night, Ms Choi told you so, you didn’t know where he went, you didn’t care. From that point on, you hated Choi Beomgyu, you hated everything that was him, everything that reminded you of him. But most of all, you hated anything that made you feel like he had made you feel that night; the night he’d left you on the street to sob in your hands. 

⸝⸝

Your first official night under Ms Choi’s roof felt weird, it didn’t feel at all like home, maybe because it wasn’t, or maybe because you laid in bed with the knowledge that Beomgyu was only a room away. — It was dark, the soft glow of the moon seeping through your lace curtains. You had yet to fully unpack, your small night lamp long forgotten about in one of the boxes downstairs. The room smelled weird too, it didn’t smell like home, like mom. 

Despite it being years since she passed you often found resolve in venturing inside your parents room, the room that smelled the most of her. How you would let the tips of your fingers trail across the smooth bed sheets as you imagined her sleeping form. — The first months after her passing you even found yourself going through her old clothes, trying to keep anything that carried her scent close. But even the house itself held her presence, her laughter echoing off the walls, her soft hum as she prepared dinner, her cheerful voice as she skipped down the stairs. 

This house did not hold a single trace of your mother, she was truly gone. Your dad had moved on, he had fallen in love, he’d stopped being miserable, he no longer cried for his deceased wife in the darkest hours of night. Did that make him a bad person? You wanted to hate him for leaving your mom behind, even though she was technically the one who had left you. You wanted to tell him that he should never love a woman that wasn’t her. But you couldn’t. And you wouldn’t. — Your father was happy now. 

Perhaps Beomgyu had been right that night. Perhaps you should get over it. Perhaps you should’ve gotten over it a long time ago. But you didn’t want to, because getting over it meant letting go, letting go of your mom, and you didn’t want that. She was your mom.

Your fingers instinctively reach for the bracelet around your wrist, fiddling with the silver anxiously. This was your last piece of her, your last line, the string that still connected you to her. — You treasured it dearly yet you couldn’t but feel almost melancholic whenever you turned the jewelry around in your hands, an immense wave of sadness washing over you as the small piece kept reminding you of what you’d lost. 

You shake the tears away, sitting up as you lean against the bed frame. You wouldn’t cry tonight, you wouldn’t allow that. Instead your mind wanders down the hall, down to the room on your left. You wondered what Beomgyu was up to, was he already asleep? Maybe he was feeling restless too.. “What the fuck”, you scoff, shaking your head at the glimpse of sincerity you cast his way. Having already gone through with that mistake once, you would be sure to not make it again. Beomgyu didn’t deserve your sympathy. 

He didn’t deserve anything. 

⸝⸝

The following weeks went by in almost a blur. Your dad and you got settled in quickly, and with the help of Ms Choi, you now had a wildflower blooming by the sill of your window. Not to mention the pink rug you had so carefully picked out as you laid it in the center of your room. — But happiest was probably your father. It was sweet, seeing how giddy he got whenever the new woman in his life was around, you liked watching him fall in love. And without you even realizing it, the small house soon began to feel like home. 

Even you and Beomgyu got along fine, if getting along was what you could call it. You had silently conducted a small routine which was to be strictly followed by the two of you. It helped ensure that you wouldn’t have to run into one another more than absolutely necessary. — First, you always used the bathroom at seven. He was never up by then and you enjoyed having free access to both the shower and toilet as you took your time getting ready for the day. 

Second, your rooms were strictly prohibited areas, under no circumstances were you allowed to step foot inside his personal space, nor was he to do so in yours. That didn’t change the fact that he would continuously blast his ear screeching music so loud that the floorboards thumped in rhythm to the beat. Nor did it change the way you threw your hairbrush against the wall in an attempt to get him to shut up, not that it ever proved successful. 

Third, and perhaps the most important one; you did not know each other outside of home. Senior year in college started about two weeks ago, and within the four confined walls of the school building, you and Beomgyu were nothing but mere strangers. Not that the same couldn’t be said for the way you treated each other back at home. Which leads you on to another unspoken rule, the rule that made your parents believe that you got along just fine. 

You think it was said last rule that made everything come crumbling down one October night. 

“A whole week?” You splutter, your fork slipping from your grasp and hitting the porcelain plate in front of you. Ms Choi makes a small grimace at your blunt shock but quickly masks it with a smile, “yes, me and your father were thinking..” — “Come on princess”, your dad interrupts, leaning forward ever so slightly. “You’re more than old enough to sit the house for a week, besides, we’ve been meaning to get some alone time.” He sends you a look that practically screams, “don’t fuck this up for me, alright?” 

With a small groan you nod, “yeah it’s alright I suppose.” But it wasn’t, in fact it was far from it. This meant that you would have to spend a full seven days, locked up in the same house as Beomgyu, with no one to save you. “Is this what people call dark humor?” You mutter, though not loud enough for anyone to pick up on, at least you thought they couldn’t. Opposite you, Beomgyu’s lip twitches as his tongue prods against the inside of his cheek, his fingers playing with the rings on his hands; clearly not oblivious to your small comment. 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine”, Ms Choi adds in a most lighthearted tone. Your dad slowly nods as his gaze flits between you and Beomgyu, watching as you both turned to shoot him a small smile. 

⸝⸝

“And don’t forget to lock the door, oh and I’ve written down all the emergency numbers on a piece of paper plastered on the fridge, and there’s–” — “Dad, I’m fine.” You take his hands in yours, giving them a light squeeze and your father grins, “right, sorry princess.” He throws a quick glance over his shoulder to where Ms Choi was waiting by the car, having already shared a most quick farwell with her son. 

“Go, I’ll be okay”, you sigh as you urge him toward the door. “Alright, alright, just promise to call if anything happens.” He pleads as he ruffles your already disheveled hair due to the amount of hugs he had insisted on. You give him an affirmative nod as he steps out. “Love you, princess!” Is the last thing he gets out before you close the front door in his face, worried that you might never have him leave if you didn’t. The hallway quickly becomes enveloped in a near deafening silence, the emptiness of the house palpable. But the short-lived peace would soon be disrupted. 

“Fuck, are you fourteen or twenty?” Beomgyu jeers as he leans against the doorframe leading into the living room, arms folded across his torso. He’s dressed in a pair of loose jeans that hung low on his waist, and had it not been for the even baggier t-shirt thrown on his chest, you would’ve probably caught more than a glimpse of his stomach. The piece of jewelry on his eyebrow glints in the faint morning light as he sends you a small frown. 

It was too early for any of his snarky remarks, you thought as you swallowed a deep breath. Just ignore him, don’t bite back, that’s what he wants. But as you watch his conceding smirk practically double in size at your silence, you find yourself unable to hold back. “Well at least I talk to him.” It was a low blow, and you knew it. You didn’t care, for the way his face dropped, if only for a brief moment, made it all worth it. 

Beomgyu was quick to hide his initial surprise as he shifted against the doorframe, his dark eyes narrowing down on you. “It’s hardly like you’ve got anyone else to confide in”, he drawls, and you bite the inside of your cheek at his subtle acknowledgement of the lunches you spent alone in the school cafeteria. Your fists clench, your anger on the verge of slipping past the weakening brims of your control. 

“You think you’re so much better, huh?” Your angered huff is met by a low chuckle but before he gets a reply out, you cut him off. “I’m not the one retaking a whole year of college, I mean, I knew you were stupid, but this exceeds any of my previous assumptions.” The words slipped from your lips without you being able to stop them, and it felt good, really good. Beomgyu’s jaw visibly clenches at the insult thrown his way, the arms over his chest flexing as his body tensed. 

Feeling almost high off of the harsh remarks, you continue. “Let’s not even bring up your mom. You can barely look her in the eyes, you treat her like absolute shit, and at your grown age too.” — It’s his turn to flare up now, his previously stunned expression immediately morphing into a scowl as he charges forward. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about her in front of me.” He seethes, teeth grinding against each other as he reaches you, his fingers wrapping around the collar of your blouse as he shoves you against the wall with a thud. 

For the two years in which you had known Beomgyu, sorry, been acquainted with, you don’t think the two of you had ever as much as even shook hands, much less hugged. But now his face was only inches from yours, burning with so much rage that you thought you might just combust into a pile of ashes on the floor. His chest heaves, and his grip on your shirt is near deadly as he yanks the fabric up, his taller frame looming over your own. 

You scoff, trying to mask the unease that immediately surged within your chest at his close proximity. “See? Can’t even bring your mom up without you throwing a hissy fit", you jeer. — The scowl once on his lips, slowly turns into a sneer, a sly look emerging on his face, like you had just said exactly what he needed to hear, given him the opportunity he’d been searching for. 

His breath is warm on your already hot body as he speaks. “Well it’s not exactly like you’re any better.” You catch his tongue dragging across his bottom lip, as if savouring the moment, his eyes focused solely on the way your once stoic expression fell. “Can’t even mention her without you bursting out into tears.” — You open your mouth to object, your brows furrowing at the accusation but he’s quicker, shamelessly cutting you off to get his point across. “There’s no use in denying it. Don’t you think I’ve heard you? Crying in your room late at night, crying for your dead mommy.”

His gaze snaps to your wrist, hand darting out to grab ahold of it as his thumb slides across the bracelet resting there. “And this? A souvenir of her death? That’s pathetic.” He cocks his head to the side, a wicked grin spreading across his lips. “It’s like a child sleeping with stuffed toys”, he sneers, letting go of you with a small grimace before his grip returns to the collar of your shirt. 

You hated the way your teary eyes almost immediately gave you away, and you fervently tried to blink them away; much to no avail as Beomgyu chuckled. “Did I hit a nerve?” He wonders, voice laced with fabricated pity. It made you sick to your stomach. — “Sorry, princess”, he coos, but nothing about the way he gripped onto your flimsy blouse made for a convincing apology. Your eyes narrow at the familiar nickname and his smirk only widens. “Isn’t that what your daddy would say? Princess?” 

Hearing the name you treasured so dearly coming from his mouth, the word tainted with his hatred and evil, it made you bite the inside of your lip, hard. “What? Don’t like it?” He hums, his fingers on your shirt loosening, if only slightly as he leans even closer. It was easy to make out the details of his face now, the piercing stuck through the skin of his eyebrow, the area slightly red, as if irritated. The dark charcoal around his eyes, you wondered if he slept in it, probably. You will your gaze to stay locked with his, not daring to glance down at his lips. 

“Then what should I call you? Sis? Sister? Little Sister?” He looks almost as if he’s about to burst into laughter and you wanted nothing more than to slap that disgusting smirk from his face. “I’m not your sister.” You state, refusing to ever be perceived in such a way. — Beomgyu let’s his head fall to the side, his brows raising in a flicker of surprise. “But we’re family now, aren’t we?” 

You close your eyes, thinking that maybe if you just pretended that he wasn’t there for an extended period of time, he might actually disappear. But once you reopen them, you find him still watching you, his smirk stretched so wide that he almost appeared uncanny. “You don’t know the first thing about what makes a family.” You let your words linger in the now very thick air, watching with an almost gleeful expression as Beomgyu lets out a small scoff, though leaning back as he lets go of your shirt. 

“Quit trying to act like you’ve got me all figured out.” Is all he says, his voice now eerily calm, a kind of calm that makes your blood run cold. — “Then quit acting like such a terrible person, and maybe people would start seeing you for something else.” You mutter, your words not intended for his ears to catch, but they do. His gaze flickers over your body, pressed against the wall in an attempt to create as much space between the two of you as humanly possible. 

He shakes his head, his lip twitching as he runs a hand through his long hair. “How about you quit trying to act like you know what makes a terrible person.” — His words leave you silenced long enough for him to make his escape as he heads for the staircase. The last thing you see is his dark retreating figure, the sound of him trudging up the steps filling the house. You slump against the wall, letting out a shaky exhale as you let your eyes fall closed, already dreading the week ahead. 

⸝⸝

To your surprise, day one and two went by like usual, with the absence of your father and Ms Choi of course. You and Beomgyu managed to avoid one another just like normal, and whilst you ate dinner downstairs, he always brought his food to his room. Sometimes it was almost as if you were living alone, you had the whole house pretty much to yourself and you often took the opportunity to lounge by the sofa in the living room. 

After your fight two days ago, part of you had thought that things might worsen even further between the two of you. But if anything, you’d seen even less of him than you usually would and you think you could count the interactions you’d shared with him on your fingers. 

Your whole body feels heavy as your head hits the pillow that night. Four more days, you tell yourself. You could do four more days. All you had to do was keep up the role you’d been playing for the past three days. 

And as you lay in bed, you let your thoughts wander, wander to your dad. The two of you engaged in shorter calls every evening. It was a nice distraction from your otherwise plaguing reality. Your father told you about the beach, the ocean and the seashells; he and Ms Choi were staying at a hotel by the seaside for the week, and you felt your heart swell at the excitement in his voice. 

“You’ll have to come with us next time!” He exclaimed, the powerful winds surrounding him made his words come out jagged on the other end of the line. Still, you thought you were able to make out the faint sounds of waves crashing against the shore as he walked along the water. — “I’d be happy to”, you agree, a small grin playing on your lips at the thought of going on vacation with your dad again, it had been so long. 

Soon Ms Choi joins your conversation, you hear them share a quick kiss before her tender voice addresses you. “How’s Beomgyu doing dear?” She wonders and your smile immediately falters at the mention of his name. You bite your lip, unsure of what to say, did she not talk to him, not at all, not once? — In the end, you settle for something for half a lie and half a truth. “He’s doing fine.” 

Your dads girlfriend exhales on the other line as she thanks you. “Are you two getting along well?” Your father asks, a hint of suspicion following his inquiry. Even though Ms Choi was quick to defend her son, your dad still seemed to hold back when it came to him, if only slightly. “We’re doing just fine.” You lied, not wanting to address just how awkward things were and how you most definitely wanted them to return home as soon as possible. You wouldn’t ruin your dads shot at happiness just to soothe your own worries. 

But as night approaches, the faint glow of the moon seeping through your thin curtains, you find yourself unable to sleep. Though this time, it’s not because of your reeling mind, rather a faint noise coming from the room down the hall and to your left. — During your previous nights, the house had been eerily silent, almost deafening as it added to the feeling of you living there alone. And Beomgyu was not one to play music at such an hour, even though he was likely still very much awake. 

With a small frown you sit up, fingers grasping the bed sheets beneath you as you shift on the mattress. It was near impossible to make out any details regarding the noise, only a hushed sequence here and there could be heard and your frown deepens. But your desire for a full night’s sleep quickly overweighs any doubt as you’re reminded of the early morning class you had the following day, and the bed squeaks as you gingerly climb off of it, quietly venturing out into the dark hallway to face whatever awaits you. 

You’re able to locate the source of the sound as soon as you step out into the dark hall, and your throat goes dry as your eyes seize the door leading to Beomgyu’s bedroom. — The floorboards creak under your weight, making you freeze as you listen for a shift in the noise coming from his room, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed. 

Carefully you creep forward, a hand on the wall to guide you as you near your target. The closer you get the clearer the noise gets, and for a moment you wondered if he was hurt as deep grunt-like sounds slipped through the crack of the wooden door. What would you even tell him? Biting the inside of your cheek, you shake your head. Just yell at him, cause a scene, do something.

Your fingers are wrapped around the door handle when you suddenly stop, your heart practically leaping out of your chest as a small moan reaches your ears. Stunned, you remain frozen in place as you listen to the ragged breathing of Beomgyu, coming from inside his bedroom and your foggy brain slowly pieces together what he was up to. A wave of disgust washes over you, perhaps even embarrassment at having caught him doing something like that. 

It takes you about half a minute to snap out of your initial shock, eyes darting back down the hall as you plan to make your escape, because there was no way you were going to let him know that you’d heard him. But just as you turn around to head back to safety, a deep groan makes you halt. “Mhhn fuck”, Beomgyu grunts, his voice muffled by the wall separating you but you clearly catch the ragged moan following the curse. 

You thought you could make out something else in the far background, a faint whisper of someone else. He hadn’t brought someone over had he? No, that’s impossible, you would’ve known. And soon the all too familiar and almost theatrical moan of a woman pierces the air.

Teeth latching on to your bottom lip, you stand torn, your brain desperately yelling for you to leave, to forget that any of this ever happened, to not pry further and spare your last bits of sanity. But another part of you, a far more sinister one, keeps your body locked in place, making you unable to move neither forward nor back; forcing you to listen as your Beomgyu gets off to some cheap porn video in his room.

You felt dirty just by hearing him, but the other part of you felt something dangerously close to excitement, your heart thumping unmistakably faster as your gaze flickers back toward his shut door. 

“H-ah..” He breathes and you swallow a gulp, sweat sliding down your forehead at the strange feelings swirling inside of you. Your hands clench at your sides, shivers rippling through your body as you hold your tongue, terrified of making your presence known. — He should be ashamed, not you, you had merely passed by, right? So why did you feel so bashful standing here, right outside his room, in the middle of the night, like some creep. 

“Mhhn fucking hell”, he croaks and you screw your eyes shut, desperately trying to erase the images playing in front of you like that of an old film. Images of him, his head thrown back, his lips slightly parted, lidded eyes and his hand… his hand wrapped around– “Oh my god”, you breathe, bracing yourself against the wall as your head falls forward. You had to get out of here. 

⸝⸝

Disgusting. That’s what he was. Not only a loathsome person but a pervert too. And as you walk down the familiar street, your school bag flung over your shoulder, you think of ways to confront him about his behavior. He was in the wrong here, not you. Besides, your request for him to keep it down at night was reasonable. 

The wooden fence gate feels rough under the tips of your fingers as you push it open, your eyes falling on the quaint house before you. The gravel makes a crunching noise beneath your shoes as you near the front door, the lump in your throat only growing in size. — It was such a pretty house, and to think that something so dark resided within its walls made you sick. Still, you unlock the old door and make your way inside. 

The familiar scent of roses invades your senses almost immediately and you take pride in the comforting smell, allowing yourself to just stay for a moment. You knew that he was home already, having spotted his car on your way back, and it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure out where he was currently lounging at. — Discarding your bag alongside your shoes, you begin the small journey up the stairs, not planning on prolonging the inevitable conversation. 

The blaring music fills your ears as soon as you reach the top step and you heave a sigh. You could do this, you wouldn’t back down. — The first knock is petty, weak, barely audible over the heavy bass thumping on the other side. You bite your lip, raising your fist once more, this time you give the wood a harsher tap. But still, nothing. You stand there for a moment, listening to the unfamiliar song playing and you wonder why he felt the need to drown himself in music as vile as that. Perhaps it was to quiet the undeniably gruesome thoughts you could only imagine filled his mind. 

“Beomgyu!” You shout his name, knuckles near hurting as they pound the door in front of you. Finally, the loud melody comes to an abrupt halt and you can hear him shuffling about inside his room, the soft padding of footsteps approaching and soon he reveals himself. — He looks the same as he always did, as he always had. Except he looks…different. You think it might have something to do with what you had heard him do the previous night. Because something was different, something was no longer the same. 

“What do you want?” He spits, the words sound almost like an accusation and you watch as his brows furrow, dark gaze narrowing down on you. Suddenly, you feel your composure crumble, the phrases you’d gone over in your head so many times on the way back home suddenly diminishing to nothing as you stand before him. Your lips part, for whatever excuse you could possibly find but Beomgyu beats you to the case. 

“If you’re here to complain about how you miss your daddy then I don’t give a shit.” 

Your mouth closes again, your brows mimicking his frown as you peer up at him. Is that what he thinks of you? Is that how he perceives you? As nothing more but a crybaby who can’t go a day without her father, who sobs herself to sleep in the absence of her mother? — “That’s not why I–” — “Like I said”, he cuts you off, his gaze hardening, “I don’t give a shit.” 

The grimace painting your face is surely unmistakable and your fists clench as you swallow back the insults waiting on your tongue. “Well I do”, you say, masking your otherwise trembling voice with firmness as you maintain the tense eye contact. Beomgyu appears, if not surprised then at least taken aback, his lip twitching as he lets out a short huff. He folds his arms over his chest, covering the print on his black t-shirt, seemingly waiting for you to continue. 

“I’m here to…to ask you..” You find yourself stumbling over your rehearsed lines, mind fumbling for a way to approach the situation without making it awkward for the both of you. Not wanting him to know that you’d heard him but also wanting him to be aware of the fact that you knew exactly what he’d been up to. — “What I want to say is, please keep it down..at…at night, some of us are trying to sleep you know..” 

Carefully you peek up at him, trying your hardest to subtly gauge his reaction. But Beomgyu only hums, his brows raising in play-pretend surprise as he leans against the doorframe. “Keep what down? It’s not exactly like I’m blasting music or anythin’” he muses. You shake your head, “that’s not what I’m asking, I’m asking you to keep it down when…when y-you you know..” 

The smirk slowly etching its way to his lips should’ve told you everything you needed to know. That he was just looking for ways to push you further, to rile you up and get you flustered, but for some reason it didn’t, and you kept going. — “When I what?” He wonders, eyes flickering over your guarded stance as you awkwardly shift in front of him, letting your weight fall on one leg. “Come on, you know what I mean”, you practically whine, not caring about how immature and childish you sounded as you avoided actually uttering the words out loud. 

“When I jack off?” He asks, his tone nonchalant as his hands slide down the pockets of his already low hanging jeans. You meekly nod, gaze dropping to the floor as your cheeks flush with color. “Y-Yeah that…you’re kind of..loud”, you cough, anxiously crossing your arms over your chest as you clear your throat. 

Beomgyu seems to be considering your words for a moment, his attention fixed on something behind you as he quietly hums. But then he leans forward, his face landing almost inches from your own and you can clearly see the smudged liner around his eyes now. “And you’ve got a problem with that?” He tilts his head to the side, studying you expectantly. 

“Come on now, sis”, he drawls and you cringe, hating how the word sounded on his lips. “You can’t possibly tell me that you’re not twice as loud when you touch yourself.” — The statement made your eyes blow wide as your jaw slacked. Feebly you shake your head in an attempt to deny his accusations. “I- No!” You shriek, taking a small step back as your hands wave in objection. “I don’t– I don’t do stuff…stuff like that..” 

Beomgyu’s smirk widens as he watches your apprehensive response, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. “Stuff like that?” He repeats, the sentence sickly sweet on his tongue. “You mean you’ve never played with yourself like that? How dull.” — You swallow, your throat suddenly feeling beyond parched as you shake your head once more. Was that so bad? Did that make you so different? You’d never understood the appeal, never felt those feelings, never even had a boyfriend. It shouldn’t matter should it? 

So why did it make Beomgyu look at you like that? Like you had just become something completely different in his eyes, something prized, something desirable. “Really?” He repeats, as if unbelieving of what he was currently hearing. Your quiet “no” is met by an even more menacing smirk as his tongue prods at the inside of his cheek. 

“Why, your daddy must be real’ proud of you then”, he grins and you feel your stomach twist. — “N-No he doesn’t care about stuff like that.” Because why would he? He was your father, sure you were close but some things were better off kept private. But it seemed no matter what you said could make the hungry look in his gaze go away and you felt your heart rate increase tenfold. 

Beomgyu merely scoffs, clearly not buying your truths. “Well then your daddy doesn’t know how much of life his daughter is truly missing out on.” — You frown, straightening your back if only slightly as you regard him with a hint of determination. “I’m not missing out on anything, to be frank, I’m quite happy the way I am right now.” You give a short pause, stopping only to give him a quick one over. “Not that the same can be said for you.” 

It feels good to watch his once smug expression morph into a much more scowl-like one as he lets out a short huff. When he doesn’t say anything, you feel a proud smirk crawling its way to your lips and you barely manage to conceal it as you turn to walk back to your room. — Only when you’ve reached your door, does he speak again, and you’re surprised to find him still lingering by his own doorway. 

“Do happy people cry everyday too, or is that just you?” 

⸝⸝

You’re unable to get his words out of your mind and you spend the majority of the following night mulling over them. “Do happy people cry everyday?” Do they? Was crying necessarily a bad thing? People cry when they’re happy too, people cry for a variety of reasons. Some merely sniffle,  some sob whilst others practically scream. Could happiness really be measured in tears or was that just something he’d said to get on your nerves, to have the last word? 

You lay tossing and turning in bed, your blanket bunching up around your legs before you eventually kicked it off again. — If only your mom was still around, she would be sure to have an answer, for she always did.. You nod to yourself as you mindlessly fiddle with the bracelet around your wrist.

Perhaps you were over analyzing his words, twisting and turning something completely meaningless for hours on end. But it was the only way you’d be able to feel at ease. You had a habit of trying to understand things on a deeper level, knowledge comforted you. It was why you nearly drowned yourself in your studies, why you spent so much time indulging in literature or film. It was your escape. 

Part of you supposed you should have Beomgyu completely figured out by now, with the way you memorized each snarky comment of his. But you never did, it felt like you knew nothing about him yet everything all at once. Maybe your knowledge of him was biased. You’d been quick to snap his picture, to paint a vision of him so sinister that you found it hard to view him any differently. — In your eyes, Beomgyu was a selfish and bad person, a person who did not feel empathy nor compassion for others. And perhaps that was why your theories about him seemed to lead you down the same path each time. 

But you didn't think that you were a close minded person… Was there really something you had missed, something you had overlooked? Was there more to Beomgyu than he let on to? 

You don’t have to ponder much longer for a quiet knock to your door rips you from the deep thoughts previously consuming your mind. With a small flinch you shot up from your bed, crawling back against the headboard as your eyes trained on the entryway to your room. For a moment you think it might be an intruder, but what kind of thief would knock? — Not only knock but proceed to open the door without waiting for a reply. You only knew one person so unthoughtful. 

Beomgyu’s shadow is dark, shielded from the dim luminance of the moon mere feet away from him as he stands in the doorway. One step forward would reveal his face entirely, and you find yourself both longing and dreading for him to move. — Why was he here? You guys made sure to avoid one another diligently so why was he willingly ruining it? 

“I can help you.” 

His voice is low, but he speaks clearly. A crease runs along your forehead as your brows pull into a frown. “Help me?” You repeat, the confusion evident in your tone as you shift against the pillow behind your back. Beomgyu nods, taking a bold step forward which casts an eerie glow across the side of his face. Your gaze flickers from his intense and dark eyes to his lips, pulled into a small smirk and your stomach drops. 

You knew why he was here. Because what other motive could he possibly have? — You had seen the way he treated those around him, you had witnessed the effect he had on his mom as she fell to her knees in tears, the way his words had sliced through you like daggers of a knife, shamelessly cutting your barely healed skin. Beomgyu made things around him die, every touch of his was poison, lethal. And now he had come to kill you too. 

It wasn’t like his sudden change in demeanor was unexpected, you knew that he was capable of breaking things, breaking people. He had just never paid you much attention because he thought you were already broken. The death of your mother slowly eating you away as you cried for her each night. — But you can tell he’s had a change of heart, the way his eyes rake across your body, barely concealed by the flimsy pajamas you wore, untainted, untouched, pure. Ready for him to kill. 

“I don’t need your help.” You try to evade him off, convince him that you were no object of his affection. But it was impossible. Beomgyu shakes his head, slowly approaching your bed before he takes a seat, causing the cushion beneath him to dip slightly. — “You don’t even know what I’m about to offer you”, he muses, fingers trailing up your exposed leg and you quickly withdraw it, stuffing it beneath the blanket. 

“I know that I do not need it”, you bite back, twisting your body as far away from him as possible. He huffs out a short breath, biting the inside of his cheek, seemingly in deep thought. You peer at him through the corner of your eye, lips curling into a small grimace. — “Do you plan on living in the dark forever then?” He finally wonders, his voice a mere murmur and you frown. “I could show you, show you the light”, he hums, fingers drumming against the mattress leisurely. 

You’re unable to hide the scoff you emit before turning back to face him. “You couldn’t find light if it so much as presented itself in front of you.” Beomgyu’s jaw visibly clenches at your words, his hand stilling against the bed as his gaze flickers up to meet yours, an underlying twinge of curiosity lingering behind his otherwise cold and emotionless eyes. —  “No? And why’s that?” 

Your lip twitches, a small grimace of pure disgust threatening to overtake your entire face as you regard him with disdain. “Because something as dark and twisted as you cannot possibly seek light. You repell it.” 

The last sentence rings out in the silent air, and you watch as the intrigue in his eyes becomes put out like that of a dying fire. His expression contorted into the one you knew so well, the cruel one, the one that hurt people. “What, and you think you’re some kind of saint?” He jeers, trying to mask where your words had evidently stung. — Were you a saint? Hardly. But you didn’t hurt the people around you just because you could, just because life had treated you unfairly. That was the difference between you and Beomgyu. 

“You know what I think of you?” He says, the bed squeaking as he leans forward, dangerously close. “I think you’re scared.” He drawls, eyes boring into your own with so much vigor that you almost felt pity for the anger that consumed him. How miserable he must be to live like that. — “I’m not scared.” You calmly state, shifting against the pillows as you instinctively try to create distance between the two of you. Quickly taking note of your hesitant body language, he smirks, “no? Then prove it.”

“Prove that you’re not afraid of the darkness, of my darkness.” 

You remain silent for a moment, watching as he awaits your answer, your next course of action. Was this a bad idea? Probably. You had told yourself over and over that you wouldn’t let yourself get consumed by him, become tainted by his flawed hands. Yet you find yourself reaching for the blanket covering your body, pulling it from your legs as you discard it on the floor. Beomgyu follows the movement with an amused look, an almost wicked one before his smokey eyes snap back to yours. 

“Fine”, you say, adjusting yourself on the bed as you let your hands fall to your sides, “show me.” The simple statement makes his face twist into a look of pure smugness and Beomgyu wastes no time in scooting closer, fingers wrapping around both of your wrists as he positions himself before you. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me”, he murmurs, his lip twitching into a sinister grin as he does. It was almost as if your obliviousness spurred him on, your naivety making his mind reel. 

His breath is warm on your face as he studies you closely, from the way blood rushes beneath your cheeks to your eyelashes fluttering as you try to focus with him so close. “Have you ever kissed someone before?” He asks, the underlying curiosity in his words palpable. You try to think of any occasion in which you might’ve, but after a good moment you shake your head. “Only once…in middle school, a smell peck on the lips..” You admit, albeit a little sheepishly. 

The smirk on his face only widened, exposing his sharp teeth as Beomgyu chuckled. “That doesn’t count”, he states, seemingly pleased with your answer, with your honesty, your trust. Biting your bottom lip, you swallow before nodding slowly. “I’ll show you how to.” He then mumbles, and suddenly his nose is practically grazing yours. You suck in a sharp breath, eyes widening as you watch his confident ones. 

Then his lips press against your own, and they’re surprisingly soft. At first he remained still, completely unmoving and you wondered what on god's green earth he was doing. But soon he lets his eyes close, one of his hands letting go of your wrist as he cups your cheek. The small caress makes your eyes widen further and you resist the urge to pull back. Unsure of what to do with yourself, you hesitantly respond to the tentative kiss, letting your eyes flutter shut as well. 

You knew that you shouldn’t be doing this, that it was wrong, taboo even. He was your step brother.. at least he was bound to be once your parents got married. Guilt roots itself in the pits of your stomach, making it twist and turn uncomfortably as you try to relax in his grip. — He doesn’t push you any further and it takes you by surprise. Instead he lets his lips linger on top of yours, and when he pulls away moments later, a small pecking sound follows it. You watch through lidded eyes as his narrowed gaze studies you, the hand on your cheek moving to your chin. 

“How was it?” He wonders, as if expecting a review of some sort. Your mouth parts but you can’t seem to find the words. How could you describe the shame and the guilt? How could you ever verbalize the way his soft lips had felt on yours, such a thing was impossible. — “It felt weird..” Your hushed whisper echoes out like church bells in your ears and you remain very aware of the way his fingers reside around your chin, locking your face in place. 

Beomgyu lets out a short breath, his thumb pulling your bottom lip down as his gaze catches onto your exposed teeth. “First time always feels weird”, he states and before you get to prepare yourself, he dives right back in, except this time he goes straight for the kill. — You let out a small yelp as he pries your mouth open, immediately slipping his wet tongue inside to slide against yours. You can still taste the minty toothpaste on him and the sensation of something so wet and…alive, in your mouth, makes you cringe. 

You still allow him to kiss you, to push you back against the pillows as his hands roam your body, his poisonous touch spreading across your skin like wildfire. You knew that this was exactly what he wanted, to ruin something so perfectly pure, to take something from you that you could never get back. And for some reason, you let him. — Only when his hand reaches the waistband of your pajama shorts do you stop him, eyes wide as you push him back. 

“Wait.” 

The kiss breaks with a wet sound and a small string of saliva still connects the two of you. Struggling to find a suitable approach to the matter, you let your gaze drop to his chest, heaving a small sigh as you bite your lip. “I…I don’t know if…I mean I haven’t..” Honestly you didn’t even know what you were getting at yourself, you supposed you wanted to prolong the moment, if just a moment longer. 

Beomgyu regards you with an expression you don’t think you’d ever seen on him before; a mixture of both intrigue and desire. “Are you scared?” He wonders and without thinking, you nod. His lips stretch wide, the hand on your shorts moving to your inner thigh as he gives it a light squeeze and you nearly flinch at the touch. “Good”, he huffs, his fingers venturing beneath the fabric of your pajamas as he gauges your reaction closely. 

When he pulls your shorts down, you gingerly try and conceal yourself, your cheeks flushing in all shades of red as your thighs squeeze shut. “Don’t be embarrassed”, he tsk’s, his hands on your knees as he firmly spreads them. — “I’ve seen plenty of pussies before”, he merely shrugs, “yours won’t be any different.” His reassurance didn’t help ease much of your worries as you let him pry your legs open. 

He starts slow, and you’re thankful; his index and middle finger gently rubbing you through the soft cotton of your panties and you resist the urge to hide your face as you squirm against him. — It wasn’t like you’d never touched yourself, because you had…you think. Like any other young teenager you’d experimented a little with your body, but as an inexperienced 15-year old, the results had proved futile. You never had the urge you suppose, you didn’t even know how it was supposed to feel like. But as Beomgyu touches you through your underwear, a strange feeling mingles alongside the guilt and shame in your stomach. 

His eyes are on you, on only you, watching as you bite your bottom lip, your hands fidgeting with the bed sheets as you try to suppress the small noises bubbling in your throat. Not until his fingers find your clit, rubbing it deliberately through your panties, do you let out a small squeak. “Is…Is it supposed to feel like that?” — Beomgyu’s dark gaze shifts from your spread legs and over to your wide stare. He nods, “does it feel good?” 

“Strange..” You quietly whisper, though you made no move to stop him as his index finger hooks around the waistband of your underwear. “Yeah?” He murmurs, taking his time as he slowly pulls the piece of garment from your body, letting it slide along your legs before he discards it on the floor. “You’ll get used to it”, he muses, eyes shifting to your exposed cunt as they visibly darken, “it comes with experience.” 

You had no clue what to expect, what to feel, how to respond. Your whole body felt tense as his cold fingers brushed against your naked skin, inching their way up and suddenly it felt like you were under a microscope, every single part of you being presented under a stark light. Beomgyu on the other hand, seems far more at ease as he lets two of his fingers swipe across your cute folds, teasingly pushing them apart as he slowly rubs you. 

It takes everything in you not to cringe at the weird and damp feeling pooling between your legs, the consistent throb of your cunt and the small cry you emit as he flicks over your clit once more. He sighs, “virgin pussies are my favorite”, his gaze shifts to his already glistening fingers, “they get wet so easily.” — You merely let out a small whimper at his words, thigh involuntarily twitching, the movement immediately catching his eye as his lips curl into a smirk. 

“W-Wait!” You croak as you suddenly feel him prodding against your fluttering hole, your muscles taut as you shift on the bed. Beomgyu stops, hand resting against your core as he studies you with an indifferent expression. “W-Won’t that hurt?” It felt embarrassing to ask, but the thought of him pushing something inside of you…it scared you. — But Beomgyu only shrugs. “It might”, he drawls, his fingers resuming their work on your cunt as he repositions his index one right above the tight rim of muscle, “depends on how bad you want me.” 

Want him? You didn’t know if you wanted him, it wasn’t like you liked him, right? You hated Beomgyu, you’d hated him for two years. You hated how he treated his mother, how he treated you, with such coldness and such little empathy. You hated how he made you cry, how he made you feel small and weak. You hated how he made you feel bad for grieving your own mother. 

But as your gaze shifts to his face, and as you will yourself to look past the cruelty, the darkness, you can still make out the boy you met that night, the one you’d had a small and what you thought was an insignificant crush on. From the black charcoal around his eyes, to the silver jewelry bored into his eyebrow; his black hair, nearly reaching his shoulders now, and his dark eyes, his eyes that both scared and intrigued you. 

You gasp when he without warning pushes his finger past your folds, immediately curling it inside of you, making your back arch off the bed in sheer surprise. Beomgyu’s attention is solely on your flushed face, watching in contentment as you writher under his touch, as you slowly lose yourself. — “O-Oh..” Is all you manage to squeak out between the ragged breaths. It felt weird and uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt, instead the fluttering sensation in your stomach only seemed to grow. 

“Such a greedy pussy”, Beomgyu hums as he feels you pulsate around his finger, “sucking me in like a complete whore.” You shake your head, “I-I’m not..” The words die in your throat as he adds he slides a second digit past your tight rim, making you shriek as he stretches your cunt. 

His touch felt poisonous but you couldn’t find it in you to push him off, to tell him to stop. No matter how many times you told yourself how wrong it was, you couldn’t help but slowly succumb to the darkness that was Beomgyu. Wanting, no needing, more. It was as if he’d introduced you to a most dangerous drug, and you find yourself desperately seeking another fix, a stronger one. 

Your short nails have torn the bright sheets covering the mattress, and your arms tremble as you lock eyes with him. Satisfactory, that was the only way you could describe the expression painting his face. You don’t think you’d ever seen Beomgyu as anything but angry, but this…this was far from it. He looks ready to devour you whole, his brooding eyes fixating on the way your jaw slacked, your saliva coated lips parted and your eyebrows drawn together in such an endearing manner. 

“Feel good?” He wonders, his brow twitching slightly when his thumb presses against your clit, eliciting a high pitched moan from you as you squirm against him. “I’ll take that as a yes”, he drawls and before you know it, his fingers are gone, making a sloppy sound as they withdraw from your cunt. You whine, hips bucking up in an attempt to seek his touch and your cheeks flare up in color. “W-Why did you stop..?” You pathetically wonder, biting the inside of your cheek, thinking that you had possibly done something wrong. 

Beomgyu doesn’t say anything as he brings his sticky fingers to his face, inhaling your scent before shoving them into his mouth. Your jaw falls open in bewilderment, how could he just do something like that so…casually. — “Come on now princess, we’ve only just gotten started.” 

Even more? 

Your already wide eyes dilate even further, completely forgetting to be angry over the nickname he’d used as his hand dips inside the waistband of his sweats, pulling his hard cock from his briefs. It wasn’t like you were a total prude, you knew what a dick looked like, you just…had never seen one up close. — Beomgyu takes his time as he wraps his fingers around its base, languidly stroking himself as pearly beads of what you could only assume to be precum spilled from the slit on top. 

The thought of having that inside of you makes your throat go dry and you shift uncomfortably on the bed. “Come on now, sis, don’t grow shy on me”, he drawls, stifling a groan as his thumb flicks over his tip. The knot in your stomach returns and you shoot him a glare, “I am not your ‘sis’”, you state through gritted teeth. But Beomgyu only chuckles before leaning forward, his face drawing in close once more. With one hand still on his cock, the other one presses flat against the mattress as he hovers in front of you. 

“Lie down.” 

His sharp command sends a shiver down your spine and you hesitantly comply, awkwardly sliding yourself down between his parted legs until only your head remains perched on the pillow. From this angle, Beomgyu’s long hair falls in front of his face and you resist the urge to reach up and brush it away. Instead your nervous eyes flicker to his cock as he gently taps it against your inner thigh. Your gaze lingers on the way his arousal spills onto your naked skin and suddenly a wave of realization washes over you. 

“Shouldn’t we use a condom?” You whisper, biting the inside of your cheek as your attention flits back to the smug expression on his face. “Why? That takes away half the fun”, he hums, letting his tip part your puffy folds as he nudges it against your throbbing clit. “H-ah b-but isn’t it unsafe?” You whine, unable to keep from grinding against him, desperately seeking his touch. 

Beomgyu lets out an exasperated sigh, reaching a hand up to run through his slightly disheveled hair. “Don’t tell me you’re scared”, he grunts, his fingers clasping around your chin, pulling your face so that it rests inches from his. Your breath is uneven and jagged as you reluctantly meet his gaze, a quiet “no” spilling from your lips. — He grins, tongue dragging across the bottom row of teeth in his mouth, “such a terrible liar.” 

You don’t have time to think, much less act before the head of his cock pushed past the rim of taut muscle as he slid inside your warm cunt, almost immediately groaning at how you wrapped around him so deliciously. — “Fuck, you really are a virgin aren’t you?” He breathes, lips hovering above yours and you weakly nod. The stretch of his thick cock making you go near cross eyed as you grasped at his shoulders. It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before and you were sure that Beomgyu enjoyed every second of it. 

He had been the first, the first one to get his hands on you, to spew his poison all over your pure and innocent virgin body, and he would make sure to do so thoroughly. His mouth is on your neck, tongue licking at your skin and you cringe away from the action but he doesn’t falter, lips immediately chasing yours as he keeps you in place. The kiss is rougher than the previous, hungry and disoriented as Beomgyu messily jerks his hips against yours. Your nails dig into the apex of his shoulders and his name echoes through in the pristine bedroom as you moan out in pleasure. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum right away if you keep that up”, he grunts, fingers digging into your cheeks as he withdraws from your lips. Your eyes widen as you feebly try and shake your head, dreading for him to finish inside. But he doesn’t, instead he redirects his focus to your neck, resuming what he’d been doing as his tongue darts out to swipe across its juncture. You squeal when his teeth graze your skin, the hands on his shoulders moving to his dark hair. 

The marks he left on your untouched skin were bound to linger for at least a couple of days, he made sure of that. Reveling in the fact that you’d let him in, let him close, allowed him to take something so precious, something that you had been clinging on to for so long. He would have you, all of you, even if only once, he would be sure to leave an impression. 

And you know that you should feel ashamed, feel guilty, dirty even. But something feels different, something about him, about Beomgyu. It’s not the Beomgyu you loathed, the Beomgyu who’d made you cry, the Beomgyu who made you feel worthless. — None of the anger, the hatred, the fire; none of that lingered right now. And had it not been for his sharp teeth on your skin and his rough pace as his cock rammed into your throbbing cunt, the moment might’ve even been tender. 

There’s an unfamiliar feeling building in the pits of your stomach and it had long since overridden the previous shame and guilt. Unsure of what to make of it, you desperately tug on Beomgyu’s hair, eventually making his head raise from your chest with a small frown, the liner around his eyes even more smudged than usual now. — “I’m…I…” your face turns beet red as you stumble over your words, not knowing how to express yourself. 

He licks his already wet lips, his pace momentarily slowing and you whimper at the discomfort soaring through your body. “You close?” He asks, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your sweaty forehead. You open your mouth only to close it again, nodding sheepishly as your hands twist in his hair. Beomgyu groans as he lets his fingers slide down your stomach, reaching where your bodies connected like one, middle finger rubbing your clit menacingly as he watches you arch against him with a broken moan. 

Your first ever orgasm felt out of this world, your cunt clenching around his cock with such vigor that you thought you might cry, a string of incoherent and high pitched whines ripping from your throat as you pull Beomgyu close, and for the first time, you’re the one initiating the kiss as you slam your lips on his. — He groans into your mouth, letting you slide your tongue against his, albeit a little awkwardly as you had no clue of what you were doing. 

Finally, as your climax comes to an end, you find yourself relaxing against the mattress, the fingers in his hair loosening their grip as you allow yourself to kiss him slowly. — “F-Fuck princess”, he grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before letting go. You respond by eagerly raising your hips to meet his, wincing at how sensitive you felt as his cock twitched inside of you. “Fuck, fuck, wait”, he breaths, tearing himself from you as he swiftly pulls out with a small hiss. 

In your euphoric state, your eyes drift to his hand wrapped around his shaft, quickly jerking himself off as his gaze fixates on your wet cunt. Then he notices you, his lips curling into a wicked grin as he reaches for your wrist, “come here”, he urges as he guides the flat of your hand to wrap around his cock. — Blinking, your attention flits between his expectant face and his heavy dick in your grasp as you contemplate your next move. It wasn’t like you’d ever done something like this before but it looked easy enough when he was doing it. 

With determination you begin to carefully stroke him, biting the inside of your cheek at the squelching sound erupting as his arousal smeared across your fingers. Beomgyu’s hips jerk forward and your movements stutter. — “H-ah, fucking hell d-don’t stop”, he groans, his jaw slacked as his eyes tightly squeezed shut. A quiet “sorry” slips from your lips and your pace returns as you work to get him off. 

“F-Fuck go a bit faster, yeah?” He mutters, his hand joining in on top of yours as he ups the intensity. Merely following his command, you grip him tighter, drawing a strained moan from him as your fingers drag across his tip. — It made you feel oddly powerful, seeing him like this, his otherwise indifferent face completely flushed, and instead of presenting himself with a mean scowl, he looked to be in complete bliss as he let his head fall back. 

A final twitch of his causes hot liquid to spurt from his throbbing cock, the white substance coating both your hand and lower abdomen. He heaves a sigh and you feel him slowly go soft in your hand before you pull it away. Beomgyu runs his fingers through his hair, parting it before letting his arm drop back down, his gaze landing on the mess on your stomach. He tsk’s spreading the sticky fluid across your skin. “What would your daddy think if he saw you like this, hm?” He murmurs, licking his lips before bringing his cum-coated fingers to your face. 

You shake your head, without the waves of pleasure sparking through you, the shame and the guilt suddenly crawled right back. “I- I don’t want to talk about him..” You whine, trying to force the image of your father out of your mind. — “His beautiful princess, completely ruined by something so…what did you say I was? Dark?” 

Without warning he pushes his wet fingers inside your mouth, making you cringe at the salty taste of him. “I bet your daddy would hate you forever”, Beomgyu finally states, watching as you frown, lips closing around the digits in your mouth. — And when he finally withdraws them, you splutter, “my father doesn’t hate me, but yours seem to do.” 

Beomgyu’s jaw twitches, his lips curling up into a small scowl and the desire previously filling the air slowly simmers out. You knew that he wanted you to feel just as miserable as he did. But you wouldn’t let him, you wouldn’t let him get to you like that. — Half expecting an insult thrown your way, you’re surprised when he merely tucks himself back into his sweats, rising from the bed as he regards you with dark eyes. “Fine, keep living with such fantasies and we’ll see just how long it takes for them to get crushed.” 

Without as much as another word, he leaves your room, the door slamming shut behind him as the small house falls under an eerie silence once more. 

⸝⸝

Your parents came home two days later, and though you wanted to say that things had changed between you and Beomgyu after your…night together, it was safe to say that they hadn’t. At least not on his part. You on the other hand, couldn’t get the feeling of his hands off of your body, it was like he’d permanently imprinted himself on your skin. It feels disgusting, and you had spent three hours in the shower the morning after, vigorously trying to scrub the venom from your system. But it never worked, his touch lingered like that of a tattoo, forever sealed onto you. You could never take back what had happened that night. 

For some reason, a small part of you doesn’t want to. 

Beomgyu avoided you, and when he wasn’t avoiding you he was glaring. His dark and piercing eyes followed your every move whenever you were in his field of vision. But there was something else too, a sense of superiority. — He knew that you were constantly dealing with the consequences of that night, he could see the way your mind haunted you with the memories, and he took pride in watching the shame and the guilt practically eat you alive. — He was on top of the world and you were scrambling to even get by. 

So one could easily imagine your surprise when one evening, you found him in a state you never thought you’d ever get to witness. 

It was late, but your small family had yet to eat dinner, and you watched as Ms Choi darted across the kitchen, in full with preparing your meal. You helped her set the table as you laughed at a couple of your dad’s terrible and overused jokes. It had taken a whole of three days for you to be able to look him in the eye after he’d come home, and you still felt terrible whenever you caught him and Ms Choi sharing a kiss; knowing that one tiny slip of your lips could manage to ruin something so perfect. 

You trusted that Beomgyu wouldn’t utter as much as a single breath about what had transpired that night, but you still startled when his mother taps your shoulder, whipping around as you come face to face with her. — “Dear, do you mind fetching Beomgyu, dinner’s almost ready”, she smiled, that warm and comforting smile she so often gave her son, only to receive a mere huff in return. You nod, slowly making your way out of the kitchen as you head for the hallway, dreading having to speak to him, much less in private. 

The steps creak under your weight as you drag yourself up the stairs, drawing out the moment for as long as possible before you inevitably reach his door. With a small sigh, you knock. There’s no music coming from the other side and you frown, what’s up with him? — Another knock, but nothing. You bite the inside of your cheek, a wave of frustration crashing over you at the thought of having to call out for him. 

“Beomgyu?” 

A third knock. You wait for at least a minute but there’s nothing, just silence. Perhaps he’d fallen asleep, still, you should wake him and let him know that dinner was ready, Ms Choi had asked you after all. — Your hand is near trembling as you grasp the handle, twisting it before pushing the door open. Slowly adjusting to the darkness of his room, you peer inside. But to your surprise, he wasn’t there. 

Your footsteps make a thumping sound as you hurry down the stairs. If he wasn’t in his room then…Your gaze flickers toward the dining room and kitchen before settling on the front door. “Did he mention anything about going out?” You call out for Ms Choi and she soon appears in the doorway, a bowl of salad in her hands. “No, is he not in his room?” She wonders, her face quickly falling. 

Noting her worried expression you quickly shake your head as you try and reassure her. “I’m sure he just went for a walk, I’ll go check.” — Your dad’s girlfriend gives a small nod as her gaze, too, flickers toward the door. “Alright..” 

⸝⸝ 

The cool night air hits your face and you mutter a few curses under your breath, scolding yourself for offering to do something like that when the last thing you wanted was to be out in this cold. — As you walk down the graveled path you let out a tired groan, what were you even thinking coming out here? It wasn’t like he was just going to magically appear or something. Fucking asshole, had the nerve to leave without a word and now you had to go looking for him. 

But as you push the small fence gate open and turn out and onto the street, a familiar scene flashes before your eyes. Nostalgia fills your every fiber as your eyes fall on Beomgyu’s figure, perched on the sidewalk as he hugs his knees to his chest, just like he had that night, that night two years ago. — But something was different. That night, the one where you had learned to hate him, it had been a warm night, and Beomgyu had been burning with rage. Today, the air is much colder, and Beomgyu is no longer on fire, instead he’s shivering, his whole body quivering as small sobs escape his soft lips.  

You freeze at the sight, breath catching in your throat as you regard his almost pathetic frame, curling in on itself as his fingers dig into the flesh of his calves. Part of you wants to leave him there, perhaps even make fun of him, it was most tempting to finally get back at him for the way he’d ruined you. — But you weren’t Beomgyu. And you wouldn’t do that. 

Instead you find yourself slowly approaching, and just like that night two years ago, you slide down next to him on the cold pavement. He doesn’t seem to register that you’re there, and you sit in silence for a brief moment before addressing him. — “Beomgyu?” — His head jerks at the quiet whisper of his name, his usually narrowed eyes wide in shock as they flicker over to you. His cheeks are wet, stained with his tears and the liner around his eyes had run down his face in messy streaks. A few strands of hair stick to his forehead and his lip trembles as he sucks in a sharp breath. 

“Leave me the fuck alone.” He croaks, but his voice comes out weak and raspy. His hands wipe at his face, but it only spreads the mess already there even further and he lets out a frustrated groan. — You don’t say anything, because last time you tried to comfort him you only ended up getting hurt. Instead your gaze flits to his discarded phone between the two of you. The screen was broken, likely from him smashing it on the asphalt beneath. You frown as it suddenly comes to life, vibrating against the hard ground. The bright screen illuminates the dim street and your eyes land on the caller-ID. 

“Dad.” 

Beomgyu doesn’t make a move to answer, merely turning his head away as he continues to sob into his arms. “Don’t”, he mutters as he sees you reaching for the device, “he’s drunk.” — You purse your lips but your fingers still clasp around the phone, your thumb swiping to decline the call. Upon being presented with his lockscreen, you can make out at least another fifteen missed ones. Your chest churns at the scene, for whatever reason, you do not know. The bright light vanishes as you power off his phone completely, tossing it to the side as you stretch your legs out in front of you on the pavement. 

It takes him about a minute to lift his head from his arms and his breath is still uneven as he speaks. “What does he want?” — Biting your lip, you gaze ahead, tracing the outlines of each car parked down the street, memorizing their plate numbers. You didn’t know how to answer his question, so you remained silent. Beomgyu shuffles next to you, mimicking your movement of unfolding his legs. “I bet he wants money..” He then adds in a snarky tone, wiping his face once more as he snivels, “money to sponsor his fucking addiction.” 

You throw a quick glance in the direction of his discarded phone. “Why do you still have his number?” It was obvious that he didn’t like his father, so why let him bother him like that. Beomgyu shakes his head solemnly, his fingers twisting against one another as he opens his mouth only to close it again. “Wouldn’t it be better to block him?” — “I can’t.” He suddenly exclaims, turning to you with a small frown. 

Why not? Why let something like that plague you, why not just cut it off, why not just let go? 

It was then you realized that perhaps you and Beomgyu shared a lot more than you’d initially wanted to admit.. Your eyes drop to the bracelet around your wrist, the silver glinting under the moon. — When your attention returns to him, you find him already watching you, his gaze following yours as it resided by the jewelry on your arm. You think he might make another comment about it, but he doesn’t, instead he merely sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. 

“I think..” You begin, your voice a quiet whisper as you stare past him, eyes drifting off into the distance as you let the words roll off your tongue. “I think you’re stuck on what could’ve been rather than what you have.” Beomgyu doesn’t say anything, his gaze mindlessly dropping to his hands in front of him as he bites the inside of his cheek. “What I have”, he mutters with a small frown, clearly not intended for you to hear but you did. 

“You have your mom.” 

He scoffs, already anticipating your next self-victimizing rant about how yours was dead. “My mom is-” 

“A wonderful person.” Your statement catches him off guard and his attention shifts back to your face as he studies you with a look of wariness. “And you would see that if you spared her more than a glare”, you continue as you watch his skeptical expression. — You had never felt anything besides hatred for Beomgyu, and you had been so blinded by your rage that in a way, you had become almost exactly like him. But as you finally take a step back to view him completely, his disheveled frame, his slumped shoulders and runny makeup — pity washes over you, the same pity you had felt on that night two years ago; the night everything went wrong. 

“Stop holding her accountable for his mistakes.” 

You can see the twitch of his face at your words, as if he wanted to refuse them, to lash out on you, but he didn’t. Instead he looks to you with the most sorrowful look you’d ever witnessed on him. — “How do I do that?” He wonders, his voice is thick, laced with his previous tears. Biting your tongue, you hold back from saying what you thought he wasn’t ready to hear but Beomgyu clings to you, his hands wrapping around the fabric of your shirt, his grip near trembling. 

“I miss my mom.” He whispers, his voice breaking as a lonesome droplet falls down his cheek, slicing through the dark smear of charcoal on his face. Your jaw falls open, stunned by the way his resolve so suddenly crumbled. And as you heard the words leave his lips, “i miss my mom”, you could practically feel every single one of his emotions as they washed over him in thunderous waves. — You missed your mom too, you missed her terribly. 

He hiccups, his tears creating a damp spot on the shoulder of your shirt. “H-How do I get her back..?” The question comes out muffled as he grips you tightly. “Please…I want my mom back.” — Your eyes sting and you feel yourself slowly losing your composure as you draw in a ragged breath. With a small push of your hands, you manage to create some distance between the two of you, enough to where you could see his wet face, his glossy eyes and swollen lips. 

“You have to let him go.” 

You reach for his phone, powering it back on. Beomgyu looks hesitant as he wipes his eyes, exhaling shakily when you extend the device to him. “The longer you let him ruin you the more you and those around you will suffer.” — With wobbly fingers he grasps his phone, slowly finding his dad’s contact info. He wavers, thumb hovering above the block button as he bites his bottom lip. 

You don’t know why you felt the need to help him, why you felt like you had to comfort him, reassure him. — “You’ve said it yourself haven’t you? Some people don’t deserve children.” His gaze flickers up to meet yours at the statement, a glimmer of recognition in his eyes. “Don’t let him have that privilege”, you say as you let your hand rest on top of his. 

Beomgyu slowly nods, reluctantly pressing the dreadful button as he erases his father from his life. He purses his lips, breathing out through his nose as he stares at the screen for a minute, as if contemplating his next move. — “He’s gone.” He finally states, the frown on his face only deepening as he swallowed thickly. 

“Sometimes it’s better that way”, you mumble, letting go of his hand as you lean back, your gaze dropping to the bracelet around your wrist. 

Your heart pounds loudly in your chest, blood rushing through your body as you reach for the small lock, carefully unclasping the piece of sacred jewelry. Beomgyu and you…You weren’t so different, you think. And if he could do something, something like that, then who says you couldn’t? 

His eyes are on you, watching intently as you with shaky hands let the bracelet fall from your skin, feeling oddly empty without it. — It feels light in your hand, and you wondered how something so significant could weigh so little. It made it easier to let go. — Beomgyu lets you grab his wrist, the frown on his face creasing further when you tie the silver around him. 

“Now she’s gone too.” 

You give him a small smile, meeting his wide eyes as they shift from the bracelet around his wrist and your relieved expression. 

It’s without thinking that you lean in, softly pressing your lips against his in a small kiss. But this time you didn’t feel guilty, nor did you feel dirty or ashamed. Instead it felt nice, it felt like closure. Letting your eyes flutter closed, feeling his warm and damp skin against your own, a stark contrast to the cold night surrounding you. Beomgyu lets you kiss him without protest and you feel the faint caress of fingers to your cheek. 

When you pull away he chases after you, only to be stopped by the palm of your hand on his chest as you shake your head. “It’s not like that. You know it too.” Your soft whisper makes his jaw clench, his fingers dropping from your face as they curl into fists. Then he nods, the corner of his lips pulling upwards, “yeah.” 

Gingerly rising to your feet, you dust some off the dirt from your jeans before your attention returns to him, still perched on the sidewalk. — Your outstretched hand is met by the raise of his eyebrow and you roll your eyes, “come on, I think there’s someone who would like to talk to you.” Beomgyu frowns but takes your hand nonetheless as he lets you pull him up. 

You walk like that, hand in hand, and it feels nice. Your heart sinks a little at the thought that it could’ve been like this from the start, had things worked out differently. But as you turn to walk through the small fence gate, and your eyes fall on Ms Choi, anxiously waiting by the front door, you find yourself smiling. And instead of grieving what you could’ve had, you would focus on what you did have. 

Beomgyu audibly swallows next to you as his gaze surveys his mother, and as Ms Choi notices the two of you approaching, her face lights up. — With a final squeeze of his hand, you let him go. It was satisfactory in itself to see him walk up to his mom, letting her wrap her arms around him for the first time in what you could only guess to be years. But they both made it look so natural as they fell into each other’s embrace. And it only confirmed what you had known for so long.

That Beomgyu was and had always been, a mommy’s boy.

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[dreamwritersworld]

The chore. Part 4. (Sully family x reader)

This is part 4 and the final part but read till the VERY END when I announce a surprise! 😊💓

I was dreading waking up in the morning. Last night Tyseria had decided it’d be best we made a small fort to sleep in together before we have to constantly be out for training more than usual. I woke up with Aonung’s arms wrapped around me “Timeeeeee to wake up Y/n! Moms keeping us busy and close to her today so wake up!!” I rubbed my eyes, trying to get up suddenly focusing on the other voice beside me trying to pry Aonung to get off. “you should really let go brother you might cut off her circulation! We have to train the Sully’s” I look back confused. them? Train the sull- “Tyseria leave us be! I don’t want to train those idiots. Tuk please leave your sister and tell mom she’ll come back in a couple of hours.” Tuk and Tyseria both look up offended and give a ‘Are you serious?!’ look to both their siblings.

“Fineee, I guess our breathing training can wait till another dayyy…” I yank Aonung’s hand off “Ok you got me up let’s go you evil child.” Laughs erupts from the two sisters that bothered their siblings to wake up. Now it’s Aonung’s turn for an offended look. “I- your leaving?!” I turn back “yes! Tuk needs to train and she’s doing it AS SHE PROMISED!” I turn to Tuk expectedly “I guess so…”

That’s how it continued for the next few days wake up and stay close by father or mother. Not to say that we didn’t mind but we knew that we were all dying to return home and praying our schedules can go back to normal. As for the sully family…

There had been no mention of Y/n or Tuk from Tyseria and Aonung. They kept majority of their family life private besides when they stated the obvious. It wasn’t until Loak, Kiri and Neteyam were walking towards the Mauri that their laughing stopped once they heard their parents in the home going back in forth while Jake brushes off Neytiri suspicions on seeing the girls running around the village as her mind playing a cruel joke on her. “Neytiri it’s not real. They are gone.” Neytiri pushes Jake aside “You are stupid. I saw MY children. You must’ve not noticed them AGAIN.” When the two girls left the family after y/n gave them a reality check, Neytiri never let Jake forget it and she only ever drowned in her regrets at failing to notice how they pushed their own daughter away. “That is not fair. You know that’s not fair. We looked everywhere for them. I sent out troops for them.” Neytiri turns back to her husband…

*Flashback*

Jake’s eyes follow Neytiri as she frantically rushes home to find her daughters, after hearing Tuk ran for Y/n when she left after the argument. Jake sluggishly walking behind frustrated at the idea of facing his daughter again knowing that it wouldn’t be long until he had enough and would blow up on her once again for putting stress on HIS family. (as if y/n was the intruder bothering his family, not his daughter)His sluggish walking stopped and changed to a sprinting pace as he wears his wife’s screams. He ran into an empty room with nothing but beautiful flower bracelets, each laying on his other three kids hammocks. Some type of parting away gift with a familiar bead hanging on each end of the bracelets. Y/n’s signature bead. The one Tuk would always show off and say “her beading is so pretty isn’t it dad-“ suddenly he couldn’t hear the little girls sentence in his memory because he had immediately cut her off and said that y/n shouldn’t be beading, instead training to be better and not halfass on the war grounds. “WHERE ARE THEY. WHERE ARE MY KIDS. JAKE WHAT IS THIS?!” Neytiri screams with her heart aching of regret. “Find them. FIX THIS. Bring my children back home.” Looking at her husband with the upmost disgust. Neytiri then turns her back to her husband. For the first time.” *

…“Well then you didn’t look hard enough. My children are here. And I’m going to fight for answers with or without you.” Both parents rushed out the Mauri, Jake trying to stop Neytiri from doing anything out of line while their children frantically followed behind from a safe distance. ‘Could it be? Could their missing sisters really be here?’

Neytiri rushes around the village everywhere in search for the two leaders of the clan hoping to find her theory true. That her children are here and that they’d now return home. “Mom! Dad! Look at the seashell necklace I made for the baby! Y/n is going to teach me how to make a quilt for the baby next!” The two adults back up watching from a far in shock as they witness Tonowari pick up their child and spin her in the air as she giggled. They hear each others hearts shatter hearing Tuk call someone else, some they didn’t even know well enough mom and dad. To make matters worse they then heard a laugh coming from a far, a laugh they didn’t even recognize…

“Tuk! It was supposed to be a surprise for Mom!” Y/n walks hand in hand with Aonung as a Tyseria follows next to the couple with a flower crown in her hand that Y/n taught her to make. Tuk sticks her tongue out showing a silly face to her two sisters, walking towards them.

Neytiri couldn’t stand this anymore she rushed out of hiding. “Y/n? Tuk? My children.” She rushed to hug the two kids that were once her’s, something she didn’t understand. Everyone in the circle saw it, saw something switch in Y/n, there was something cold behind her eyes. As quickly as Neytiri came in is as quickly as Y/n picked up Tuk and stepped back putting the women at a stop. “We’ve found you! You’ve grown so much, and you seem so strong my children. It’s ok we will retu-“ it wasn’t until Neytiri’s sentence came at a halt with a hiss. “MY children will NOT return to you. They are no longer “your children” they were never yours.” Jake comes into view in disbelief looking at the older daughter that fled the forest, putting herself in between the two woman as she holds Tuk in her arms with her head held up high, hissing at Neytiri telling her to back off. There was still three kids that follow carefully behind hidden in the shadows still, share the same look as Tyseria and Aonung witness the situation.

“I am Y/n, daughter of Tonowari and Ronal. I found my own home. I am not leaving. I hear you. You just don’t understand how it is now.” Jake couldn’t stand by and listen any longer he was just growing more frustrated but he knew he must try to remain as calm as possible to the damaged girl, that’s all he ever viewed her as

Broken.

Reckless.

Idiotic.

Too foolish to ever hold her own.

His voice speaks from behind “We understand you. Y/n don’t do that. We paid our dues with the pain of not waking up to you and Tuk everyday. We took care of you when you were babies. You can come with us but you aren’t allowing yourself too. Listen to me. You don’t have to hide anymore not you, not Tuk. Don’t you want that for yourselves? For her?” I look at the man in front of me, I try making it clear nicely but any longer and he might just push me over the edge. “Jake, this idea of yours-“

Jake looks confused at the sound of his daughter not even referring to him as dad, even when she was most upset, even during their last argument it was never ‘Jake’. He quickly states “this idea of mine is what kept you close for a long time.” I shake my head urging him to listen before my patience was up. “Jake, it takes more than words, you can’t just talk me into coming back to your family. you think I didn’t want a life the way I do now, from the beginning? From the moment I was able to walk that’s all I ever wanted. I prayed to Eywa that you would come to your realizations before our time was up but that’s just not how it worked.” Neytiri stared at the girl with tears in her eyes begging Eywa to stop any more words coming out that could hurt Neytiri even more. “Please my child, I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner , I’m so sorry you had to do it on your own . Come home.” Y/n gave another blank stare “Can’t you hear me ? I’m not coming to your home.” That was it, everything Jake heard felt like nonsense to his ears, his silent frustration built up for his own daughter came back.

“You and Tuk were gone. You vanished. We missed out on important parts of your life. And your telling me you aren’t coming home? You ran away and took Tuk with you. You think because you were a little girl that you could just pull yourselves out and no one will care. That because your “sorry” Our lost time with you both will all magically come back? That’s not how it works.” Tonowari and Ronal decided that weren’t going to no longer hold back “That’s enough! You will not speak to My child that way-“ Hearing Jake say what he just said alerted the coldness that Y/n tried to put aside come back. He still hadn’t changed. “You have no right. You never raised me. You don’t get to take over now and show up again to pull us out of the family we surrounded ourselves with. Real. Family. So shut up Jake. This isn’t about our lost time. I could give zero shits anymore. I would’ve still been lost in a transit, in the same old routine because YOU. refused to pick up any pieces of what YOU broke. This is about what I did. And you know what Jake? I did a great fucking job. Tuk learned everything from me. You barley spent as much time with her compared to me even before I left and that’s sad. She’s at the top of everything for her age group here. She learned survival, and the ways of water at a young age, at a quicker rate than you ever will. And you know what WE did it all no thanks to you because you. weren’t. here.” The wave of anger sent reminders to him that she was going to send him back to the major argument they had. “I- I’m here now.” His voice breaks now as hold his wife in his arms. “You don’t even know who we are?!”

Neytiri then yells out a broken scream “We’re your parents!” And to this I brush their words away “Well now they (looking at Tonowari and Ronal) took the EMPTY spot you were supposed to be so yk what? Your right you were my mother, but the most you ever did for me was birth me. But they are a here now. So your worries that you suddenly have for me and my feelings starting from the night YOUR husband left me to die, they’re done. You don’t need to worry anymore. We are not yours to bare.”

Neytiri drops down and cries like Y/n and Tuk weren’t even on Pandora anymore, like they passed through Eywa. I looked up at Jake and decided to say my last words. “You made a mess and you weren’t even there to pick it up. So remember when I say this. I was always just the chore to you and you were too bored to pick it up. But I will do you and I one last favor. You will never speak or look at me again. You will find moonlight nights strangely empty because when you call my name, there will be no answer, not even a look. You are allowed to stay on this island and you better be grateful because without me, you are nothing. Nothing but a man who’s afraid to accept the truth, still always holding frustration. But don’t think I’m doing it for you. I’m saving your kids from being lost, something I wish I had guidance for.” With that, the family walked away from the couple and continued their home until…

The three siblings (Loak, neteyam and kiri) come into view as well crying tears and rushing to hug Y/n “h-how? We’re so sorry” For them, it meant everything that Y/n accepted their hug. In y/n’s mind she couldn’t hold a grudge, she loved her siblings regardless of their subconscious pushing. They were just kids as well, how could they have seen it? “I could never be seriously mad at you guys, we were just kids.” their quietness came to an end a few moments later with Tuk “ok guys…I can’t breathe your holding us too tight!” We all laughed.

Finally the small part of Y/n’s heart was healed. She didn’t hold anything back. She was at peace before yes, but now the cold side of her, the side that always lingered around said what needed to be said, she didn’t need to worry anymore. That’s when Tonowari and Ronal saw what they finally been waiting for, their daughter healed fully they viewed her as

Strong.

Graceful.

Kind.

Smart.

Y/n was so happy, she had Tuk still, she remained with her family and healed any pent up anger she had. “Ok sunshine! Where to next ? I say we go eat!” Tuk rushes out of y/n’s arms “THEN LETS GOOOOO COME ON GUYS LETS GO HOME!” Y/n grabs Aonung’s hand while he smiled at the girl “uh…I thinkkk you guys didn’t hear her? LETS GO! I’LL RACE YOU ALL!” That’s when everyone ran (only the teens and Tuk) Tonowari and Ronal smiled at the girl who faced everything she was dealt with and no longer sitting in silent frustration. She was finally able to say her older habit and mean it- Y/n tripped when running to the finish line and everyone came at a stop “ITS OK! I’M FINE! I MADE IT AND THAT MEANS I FINALLY WIN!” Laughter and happiness surrounds the room while Y/n run in hand and hand with Tuk ready to walk into their home.

I really hope you loved this series as much as I loved writing it. :) This is the final part however….I will be doing a mini series to add onto this! To show more of how growing up was for Y/n that way you can see more of her dark past and the troubles she went through. 💓 thank you for all the love and support on this series this literally means so much 🥲💕

Tag list: @noodlesfics @eywas-heir @itshype

@zatarias-pandora @yeosxxx @arminsgfloll

@abbersreads @tsireyak @neteyamforlife @aimsro

[inbarfink]

I mean, the thing about Zim is that despite what he might say, he is absolutely capable of love and affection. It’s just that he only expresses it to a very select assortment of people.

First and most obvious one is probably his relationship with the Tallests. Which tends to be a lot less just a ‘loyal soldier duty bound to serve his leaders” and is coded a lot more like…. “Child overeager to please his neglectful parents”. I mean, the entire emotional crux of ‘Enter the Florpus’ is built on this. 

Zim isn’t just motivated by a pure ideological belief in the Irken Empire’s conquest, or by the desire for the fame and accolades that come with being a successful Invader. I mean, those ARE factors. Zim is both a true believer in Irk’s imperialist ideology and very interested in feeding his ego. But he’s also looking for a more personal sort of emotional validation specifically from the Tallests. One that he’s desperate for, but we know that he’s never gonna get.

(And that’s not just because Zim sucks. Even if he could somehow stop being a walking disaster area and a giant millstone around the Empire’s neck, that desire for the Tallests’ love would still be a fool’s errand. We’ve all seen how they treat poor Skoodge.)

In addition to that doomed attempt at an emotional connection, Zim can sometimes be kinda affectionate with his various robotic minions, which obviously goes back to the whole…

Yeah, that.

And that same episode ends with him having a very similar sort of response to Robo-Dad and Robo-Mom picking him up.

And then there’s, of course, his M-Lab Robot Minions in 'Enter the Florpus'. All named - and all grieved by him. 

His extreme reaction to Lawrence specifically dying shows he did apparently see them as individuals.

But as far as we can tell both the Roboparents and the Robot Army are not, like, sapient? I mean, AIs like GIR or the Computer are characterized as basically Machine People - but these robots barely seem more sapient than my laptop. And as much as I love my laptop it’s not gonna, like, love me back.

Speaking of GIR, he’s another example of someone Zim shows genuine care for. I mean… he can absolutely be pretty mean to him at times…

But any sort of kindness from Zim has to be graded on a Curve because he’s so terrible. ‘Hobo 13’ demonstrated to us very well just how horrible Zim can be to his subordinates - rude, inconsiderate, pretty much deliberately sacrificing them not just for his personal gain but also just for his own petty amusement. 

And it’s notable that’s not how he treats GIR. Who he expresses actual concern for…

And he pretty easily acquiesces to GIR’s capricious desires even when he clearly sees them as Stupid and frivolous. 

This scene is especially notable. I mean, this is Zim actually feeling bad about the fact that he made someone cry and trying to de-escalate the situation. Maybe for other characters a moment like that would be no big deal, but this basically the softest Zim has been through… all official IZ media. And it was a scene with GIR.

 And meanwhile GIR himself… didn’t really register any of this - either Zim’s frustration or his attempts at sort-of comforting him, because he was only sad about having eaten his cupcake and not being able to eat it more. 

Because that’s the thing, while GIR does have some level of affection towards Zim at times…

He doesn’t really show that same level of care. I mean, in pretty much all of these examples, GIR puts his own desire to give Zim physical affection over Zim’s clear discomfort and disgust. And in general, while GIR vaguely acknowledges that Zim is his master - he often disregards or ignores Zim’s orders and requests. And not just when it comes to being ordered around in yet another evil scheme -

But also when the situation is just clearly basically hazardous to Zim’s very life. 

(Which is very much in contrast to Zim, who, again, is actually emotionally invested in GIR’s safety)

While some of GIR’s inability to fulfill Zim’s commands can be attributed to his lack of mental focus and general stupidity - his absolute lack of care and regret about these situations seem to imply that, like, GIR might follow some of Zim’s orders when they seem fun, and he might like Zim in the sense that GIR is generally incapable of genuine malice. But GIR is never going to care about Zim, as a ‘Master’ or as a friend, as much as he cares about his own hedonism.

And of course, we all know that if GIR was capable of actually focusing on anything and remaining grounded in reality - he would very quickly realize that he actually hates Zim quite a bit. 

And that’s, like, the whole Tragedy of Zim. He is a being capable of kindness and friendship - but he always ends up only caring about beings who will never care about him back.

Due to Irken indoctrination and also self-inflicted due to his own ego (like, it is no coincidence that the People Zim Actually Cares About are the two beings Irken ideology obliges him to acknowledge as his superiors and then a bunch of robotic minions who are supposed to be 100% obedient to him.) Zim only loves those who will not love him back.

Except for Minimoose. That relationship is 100% wholesome.

[vinelark]

Hi I feel like you always have the best batfam fic recs, so I was wondering if you have any recs for any Dick and Tim bonding fics (especially fics that deal with the fallout of Dick giving Robin to Dami)?

hi! so glad you like the recs, i'm always happy to give them 🥰  every time a friend expresses even a passing interest in one of my fav characters i have to stop myself from like, creating a fic rec spreadsheet on the spot.

that said, i got stumped by the second part of this one. i was like oh yes definitely, i totally have read fics for that, and then…could not dig any up from my brain or my bookmarks. i feel like there's a fic on the tip of my tongue, but in the meanwhile, if anyone has any tim & dick red robin reconciliation recs (holy tongue twister, batman) i too would love to see them!

and here are some tim & dick recs in general:

🎄 only you will have stars that can laugh by silverwhittlingknife

set early in tim’s tenure as robin; dick realizes tim is about to be alone on christmas, and they end up spending the holiday together. i love how tentative both dick and tim are about this for different (and at times similar) reasons, and how heartwarming and cozy it ends up being. lots of reflection on family in all its forms and a really good tim & dick dynamic.

🚗 I’d Fly Far Away From Here by Sohotthateveryonedied

in a somewhat similar vein, a oneshot set during tim’s robin era in which tim hitchhikes to blüdhaven after a fight with his dad. dick and tim are two people who technically aren’t brothers yet by law but already are at heart, which doesn’t make it any easier to navigate conversations about tim’s home life or either of their relationship with bruce. (they make it work, though.)

🩹 Not So Large But Definitely In Charge by dottie_dc

tim and dick get tossed into an alternate gotham where there’s no batman or justice league, but find their way to bruce and alfred anyway. this has great tim-under-pressure pov, and the amount that he and dick care about each other even through their arguments is palpable. there’s also a fantastic (and at times gut-wrenching) sequel by JackHawksmoor focusing more on dick & the bruce of this different world. (cw for: past major character death aka alternate universe dick grayson)

🤖 Very Pleasing to My Optical Sensors by waffleelrond

another early robin!tim fic, in which tim gets injured and dick steps in to translate bruce's bruceness about it. it's tentative and sweet and a little silly, and a great bite-sized fic to read when you want to see the two of them just starting out as brothers.

🌌 To an Athlete Dying Young series by SonoSvegliato

at a glance from the summaries this appears like a tim & jason + tim & bruce series (and it is!), but the tim & dick scenes land it on this list for sure. i'm a broken record here with the early-robin!tim & dick recs but man i love them here; in the second fic there's a sequence where dick is teaching tim how to grapple across rooftops that sticks in my mind as one of my top favorite bonding moments for them. (heads up that the series currently ends on a cliffhanger—it's not finished yet!)

🦉 the once and future robin by AstraEllis

and as proof that i can in fact rec something other than early-robin!tim, here's an au where instead of becoming batman's robin tim ends up adopting a talon!dick grayson from another universe as his older brother. and becoming his robin. and then finding his way to the batfamily. i'm fascinated by the tim and alternate-universe-talon!dick relationship in this, and the questions of identity/personhood that it tackles by virtue of the story it is telling. plus, talon!dick's connection to robin as a concept despite the alternate universe aspect is really sweet.

also circling back to red robin reconciliation, i do have these two longfics open in my many tabs to read/finish; both tackle the post-rr era and the dick & tim of it all in their larger plots, so i'll toss in Extant by Kgraces and The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks to check out too!

[spinji]

Do you have any idea why Nana continued to dehumanize Shigaraki after learning that her murderer groomed him to be evil?

I think what a lot of people don't get with the whole "you might have to kill Shigaraki" thing is that Nana (and Torino by extension) aren't removing his autonomy when they say that.

At a certain point, it doesn't matter who's fault it is for turning someone into a villian. The entire purpose of Deku's rematch with Muscular is to make it clear that some people aren't going to stop destroying things and hurting people by talking about their abusive dad or their dead mom or whatever tragic circumstances led them here.

Tomura has also reached a similar point, refusing to compromise on his goal to destroy the causes of his suffering. That includes both All for One and the society that left him to rot. AFO meticulously planned a lot of Tenko’s misfortune but he didn't manipulate the strangers that passed him on the street. He didn't create that feeling of abandonment, only pointed it in the wrong direction. Tomura not making this choice for himself because he was groomed genuinely doesn't matter anymore because these are his choices now. He's shown multiple times to understand that AFO is using him against All Might and for his own ends, but he doesn't try to get away and turn to the heroes; he tries to get away so he can be a villian on his own terms.

It's easy to forget, since he's the protagonist, but Izuku's optimism about saving the crying boy at the core of who Tomura is, is a massive outlier and his leaps in logic aren't always solid. Nana is very callous when she talks about it, my personal guess is it's because she's still not fully willing to face her sense of guilt that her attempt to save her son from AFO led to the creation and abuse of Tomura. But she is still correct, regardless of what pain lingers inside Tomura, it is too late to help him.

Even when Izuku reaches his hand to Tenko when he is at his absolute most vulnerable, he maintains his loyalty to the league. He's been cast from society for so long that there's nothing that can convince him to stop. He would rather die destorying than live in a world he couldn't change.

In fact most of the major deaths in the league maintain this theme. Twice would rather die fighting than let his friends get screwed over by his own shortcomings again. Toga would rather die a free girl that lived as she pleased than fall in line with society. The heroes didn't choose to kill any of them from the outset, they could have gone quietly at any time to save their own skin, but their cause was more important.

This is what Nana means when she maintains that Shigaraki dying is a possiblity that needs to stay on the table, because he won't allow anything that isn't victory or death. It's tragic but I think it helps convey the message that the ending wants to, that change in how we treat the strange and disparaged doesn't just need to happen, but it needs to happen sooner. You can't just wait until a villian tries to blow up the country to try and help them, you need to give that kindness to everyone before those villians can even exist.

Sorry this got off topic because I really hate how people simplify the ending as bad writing when to me it seems really obvious that Horikoshi was going for a bittersweet ending with the league. They did destroy society but didn't live long enough to see what it rebuit into because even trust in one person trying to save them isn't enough when you're this far gone.

Either way, Horikoshi's writing style leads to a lot of necessary intuiting about the characters to actually understand the motivations for how they act. I think Nana ends up being a particularly rough victim of this because her stoicism and blunt attitude is very obviously supposed to be a front.

She opened herself up to others and All for One killed her loved ones, so she guards her heart the best she can to avoid showing more weaknesses. She does feel like a failure to her legacy; she never fully believes she made the right choices regarding Kotaro or Tomura. But if she cracks then not only is she done but AFO will make it his duty to twist the knife and hurt the people she cried for too.

She's a contrast to Izuku serving as a cautionary what-if scenario if Izuku's big open heart just makes more people targets by association (which it does!). She's not entirely right when she calls Tomura a monster but she isn't being entirely honest with herself either.

[siren-serenity]

hair dye

characters: eli jang, gn!reader warnings: fluff a/n: - we all know eli is that kind of dad whenever yenna does something small and then praises her as if she won a nobel piece prize lmao (i never expected zami to be yenna!!) - guys i've never dyed my hair before so pls correct me if i'm wrong! - every hairstyle suits eli. fight me if you disagree - feedback is appreciated!

"Lean back, Eli."

Your soft voice is like a breath in a giant storm, calming to the soul and endearing to the mind. In your hands, Eli spies a bowl of hair dye and also a brush. Nodding, he stiffly complied to your request, unusued to close proximity between the two of you. His heart pounds at the very thought and his cheeks burn at the direction of his thoughts.

What changed with yours and his dynamic? Why was he acting like this?

Before, you were just another student at Jaewon Highschool. Surrounded by the group of giggling girls from his Beauty Department, Eli considers it a miracle that he was able to meet and befriend the miracle of the Vocal & Dance department, let alone be able to be one of your closest friends alongside Mary and Vin Jin. He doesn't regret it, but he sometimes wonders what was the pull in his chest, the tugging of his soul that made him do that spontaneous decision of reaching out to you?

"Y/N!" Yenna cries out to you from her spot on the cradle. In sync, you and Eli turn to the girl with soft smiles. "Yes, love?"

"Dada hair!"

You nod before grabbing a tuft of raven-black hair. Eli hums, enjoying the feeling of your gentle fingers combing through his hair and the chill of the hair dye mixed in his locks. His fingers crossed over his stomach and his shoulders untense, fully relaxing in your comforting presence.

How should he thank you for this favor? It was late at night yet because of him, you were scurrying over to his house with hair dye in hand for an emergency with the crews. Furthermore, you even stopped by the local convenience store to buy Yenna some more baby food after he offhandedly mentioned it the other day! You were a miracle, like a ray of brightness in his dark life shrouded in betrayal and mysteries.

Maybe he should take you out? He can ask the neighbor to babysit Yenna for a couple of hours while you and him can go out for coffee. Or, he could bring you to the local park and you two could feed the ducks. Maybe you would lean on his shoulders, watching the sunset in blissful piece and he would accidentally turn his shoulder and his lips would brush against yours-

"Eli?" You tap his shoulder and he jolts awake from his daydream. Eli's cheeks flush bright red and if it weren't for your hand on his shoulder steading him, he would have leaped out of your lap.

You giggled and he could almost hear his heart stop at the sound. Again, he wanted to hear it again. And again and again until you were tired of his requests and his dreams.

"What were you dreaming about so much that you couldn't even hear me?"

"Nothing," He looks away.

You brought over the tub of water, gesturing for him to lean more into you. Eli complied and scooted backward, dipping his head into the warm water and sighing in bliss. Your hands gently wash again the dye from his newly-dyed hair, and he couldn't help the pleasing sigh escaping his lips.

"You like this?" You smiled and Eli blushed, biting his lower lip.

"M-Maybe."

[saiyanwitcher]

Holy crap, Prince of Death is such a tour de force! The attention to detail, the world-building, the intense drama, the raw emotions - it's all just stunning. 

Admittedly, I know almost nothing about DBZ, and you've done a fantastic job weaving just enough background into the narrative for the uninitiated while making it your own for this universe at the same time. The blend of fantasy and sci-fi on display is so yummy and rich to devour.

And Max just needs the biggest hug, ugh. At least he's together with Charles... (for now?!) - tho, I can already picture the angst and drama ahead when Max wakes up - poor thing bears the weight of duty so heavily and personally (and honorably).

And Alonso - omg!! Love how he calls Max out for his shit, protects him, teaches him, just - everything about him in his role in this AU is gold.

Hopefully Carlos stops being a little punk - maybe once he realizes that Alonso has also sent his prince to the same destination that he set for Charles (which I'm dying to see where that it is, btw - with pop culture in my head, I can see anything from Dagobah to Hoth to Vormir to... even Mars lol - whatever you choose, I know it will be great), or once Carlos has an inevitable reconciliation and he sees just compatible Max & Charles truly are... such potential! ✨

I did have higher hopes for George, ugh. He should know better than to follow in his master's vile footsteps, but otherwise, he makes for a rich villain. And that's to say nothing of Jos - you've done an excellent job making him truly repulsive with his physical & emotional abuse in the name of controlling Max. And I absolutely cannot wait for him to get his just deserts - to be on the receiving end of Max letting the full force of his power loose, hair & eyes flaming as he unleashes raw fury - oh, please, please, let it be so! (Tho, no matter how Jos goes down, it will still be infinitely rewarding).

... okay, this got way longer than I thought, so my apologies 🤭 But in short, this fic is just outta-this-world stellar. Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to reading more ❤🚀

Hello there!

I've really tried my hardest to explain things thoroughly and adapt the universe to make it my own, so I'm glad people aren't like . . . wtf are you talking about? 😅

Alonso is so amazing and fit this roll perfectly in my head, I'm glad it's translating on paper. While he's not Max's or Charles' real dad, he's the father they both deserve.

Carlos is in for some major transformation of character in part 2 as well as George. Those two need some growth and perspective, and they will be getting both (for better or worse) as the story goes on.

I'm so glad you mentioned the little sneak peak I gave for Max's potential in ch 12! I didn't get a lot of comments on it, but in his rage and grief, trying to protect himself, he tapped into something that he will need to find again later. Now, did he find it because it was about Charles? Or has he always had it and just couldn't break through 👀 Regardless, there will be more exploration in part 2.

Max is having the hardest time the poor baby! But you are right . . . when he wakes up 👀 He is so confused lol. In fact, enjoy a little piece:

A soft surface beneath him felt strangely comforting against his back, but the sight of the stars whizzing by outside the familiar red-tinted glass disoriented him. 

The robotic feminine voice of the scouting pod continued to drone on in the background, its words barely registering as Max struggled to make sense of the situation. 

“. . . initiating vapor bath reversal protocol. You are now one parsec away from your destination. . . ”

Limbs moving slowly, body trying to regain control, Max felt the seat surface behind him gently rise, before lowering again. His heart skipped a beat as he realized he was in the scouting pod meant for Charles to flee Jos’ base ship.

Stunned, Max whipped around to discover that the soft surface his back had been resting against was Charles’ chest, still moving gently with each slow breath. 

Relief flooded through him when he spotted the Eldri resting behind him, still unconscious, but seemingly unharmed.

His relief was short-lived, when the memories of the launch deck came rushing back.

[sarahsmi13s]

Last in the Flock

whumptober day 8: panic attack

pairing: bradley bradshaw x twin sister!reader

characters: bradley bradshaw, duckie bradshaw, carole bradshaw

warnings: panic attack, car accident, fear of being alone, mentions of death, canon deaths, cancer diagnosis, please tell me if i missed any

word count: ~1.6k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

this is also apart of my series duckie so the tag list for that is included! of course if you can't handle the content and you chose to not read, perfectly fine!!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: in the wake of carole's diagnosis, bradley gets into an accident, duckie's thoughts run wild and take over

You were in school when you got the call.

Bradley had gotten into an accident on his way to school. He didn’t have a first or second period so he didn’t come to school with you and just came fifteen minutes before his first class started.

Your mother had called you as you went to lunch, crying as she told you your brother was unconscious because he was in a car accident. Thankfully, it was a T-bone on the passenger side, but someone else hadn’t been paying attention and hit Bradley head on. But the doctors said that he should pull through and be just fine.

It didn’t stop the absolute dread that had been sitting on your stomach since you heard your mother sobbing. You went straight to the office with your mother on the phone to tell them that you were going by your remaining classes, collecting your work and leaving. 

The secretary didn’t even question it, seeing the very real tears on your face, and said she would send everyone a heads up.

You had taken your motorcycle to school that morning and you were nearly terrified to get on it. But you decided that you would drive home and get your car, not that you were a hundred percent safe in your car but it was better than being completely exposed on your bike.

You couldn’t risk it.

Later that day, after a check up, Bradley was cleared to go home. And he was ordered to rest the whole weekend and could take half the week off from school, but he was gonna be just fine.

You and Carole made sure he rested and doted on him the whole weekend.

And then the school week started, and you didn’t want to leave the house.

You justified it to your mom and yourself that it was because she needed her rest, Bradley’s insistence on that sentiment helped your side of the argument. She was insisting it was her job and you were insisting that she deserved to be taken care of as well.

But there was another feeling. A feeling you couldn’t quite place, but you knew you didn’t like it.

“Yeah, but hey you guys have fun though! I’ll be there next time. Thank you for understanding,” you smiled as you talked to your friend Ellie.

You had made plans to go out with her and a few of your other friends today after school but when they noticed you weren’t in first period, Ellie decided to call you during lunch.

“You can go out, you know, Duckie,” Bradley said from the couch. “I’m not dying, I can-”

“You could have died though! Do you know how close you were to dying and leaving me alone!?”

Bradley bruised eyes widened at your outburst. 

You were never the loud one. You weren’t the type to lash out. You were more like your dad in that way, not the type to yell unless it was needed. So to hear you shout out of the blue like that was concerning. 

“Duckie…”

You shook your head and stood up, “I’m gonna make lunch, sandwich okay?” Bradley just nodded and watched you rush into the kitchen.

When you got there you braced yourself on the sink with one hand as your other came up to your chest as it began to ache and your hand trembled violently. You couldn’t get air into your lungs, it stopped just before filling your lungs, and your legs seemed to stop working. A heat rushed up your body; your feet became too hot in your socks and a cold sweat ran down your back.

It was like you were frozen. The ringing in your ears did not help the nausea as your stomach churned. 

Your dad is dead. Your mom is dying. Your twin can die at any time. Then you would be all alone. Sad, lonely little Duckie… the last in the flock. Poor thing.

A sob forced its way out of your body, wracking your chest with force as your legs shook and you lowered yourself to the ground. 

Your hand on your chest tapped against your breast bone with no rhythm as you lost control of your thoughts and your breathing. You felt numb, like your nerve endings were on fire – the cool metal of the dishwasher had no effect on you.

“Duckie? Duckie, hey, what’s wrong?” 

Bradley had gotten off the couch and came over to you the moment he heard you sob.

He didn’t know what he thought he would see but it wasn’t his twin sister struggling to breath on the floor.

“Hey, Y/N! Y/N! Hey what’s-”

Bradley grabbed you by the shoulders, hoping to get your attention but all you did was sob and push him away. He hit the island with a pained grunt as he looked at you confused.

He realized that you were mumbling something to yourself through your sobs. 

“Alone… Alone… They’re all dead, I’m gonna be alone…” 

Then you were sucking in strangled breaths and sobbing them out, coughing hard as you gripped at your shirt. “It’s hot, too hot… Can’t breathe.. Can’t-” You cut yourself of with a sob.

Bradley sat there in shock, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go get your mom, she was out with Sarah Kazansky and he didn’t want to bother them. He couldn’t call Maverick because he wasn’t in the position to come help. But there was one number he could call.

Quickly he pulled out his phone, dialing the three digits. 

“9-1-1 what is your emergency?”

“I think my sister is having a panic attack.” 

“Okay, are you with her right now or can you hear her in the other room?” 

“I’m in front of her, we’re in the kitchen on the floor… I-I don’t know what to do, what do I do?” 

“What’s your name?”

“Bradley, my sister’s name is Y/N.”

“I’m Hannah, I’m gonna help you both through this okay? Just follow my instructions to the best of your abilities, can you do that?”

Bradley nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see him, “Y-yes I-I can do that.” 

“Alright, what I want you to do first is put me on speaker okay?” 

He put her on speaker and sat his phone down, “Okay, I did it.”

Hannah proceeded to walk him through calming you down. 

First, Bradley had to let you know that he was there and that he was there to help. He calmly got your attention on him, hating that your eyes looked over his wounds rather than in his eyes. “Duckie, hey, look in my eyes, I’m here I’m right here.”

Then he had to distract you. He asked you to hold your arms up, touch his fingertips with yours above your head. This not only helped you to focus on something but it helped to expand your chest to allow more air in.

“Good job Duckie, you’re doing so good.”

Last he was to help you slow your breathing down. He tried counting down from ten, but that didn’t work so he then tried twenty but that didn’t work either.

“Hannah what do I do?”

“Ask her what she needs you to do.”

He nodded and found your eyes, “Hey, Y/N, tell me what you need.” He waited a beat before speaking again. “What do I need to do?”

“H-Heart… heart beat,” you said, patting your own chest.

Bradley nodded and gently took your hand, putting it to his chest.

“Can you feel that? I’m okay, and you’re okay. We’re safe.”

He watched you nod and your breathing started to even out. “Good job Duckie, I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so good.” 

“Bradley, the paramedics are there. Can you let them in?”

“Yeah I can-” He moved to get up but your fist balled in his shirt and you shook your head, “No… please…”

“Hannah, tell them there is a key under the mat. I can’t leave her.” 

“I can do that.”

A few seconds later paramedics arrived in the kitchen as Bradley pulled you into his lap. He held you close and kissed the side of your head. “It’s okay, I got you. I got ya.” 

The medics checked your vitals and got you a little oxygen to help you breathe better.

“Okay, Y/N, you’re gonna be really drained the rest of the day, take it easy alright?”

You could only manage a nod and Bradley rubbed your back.

The medics and Bradley shared a nod as the medics left. 

He sat there with you until you were ready to get up. He didn’t speak other than gentle reassurances and praises.

“Bradley…”

You broke the silence about fifteen minutes later, your voice still shaky and a little raspy. 

He hummed, “What’s up Duckie? What happened?” You sniffled, “I think it was just Mom’s diagnosis… your accident… Dad… it was all just a lot. I was scared… Scared of being alone… being the last one…”

Bradley rubbed your arm, “Oh Duckie…” “I know I know it’s-” “It’s not stupid, your fear is valid. I hope it’s a comfort to know that I’m not leaving you with a fight,” he said, kissing your temple. “Nothing can take me away from my baby sister.”

You snorted, “You’re only twelve minutes older.” “Still older.” 

Rolling your eyes you sat up a little, “Can we go lay down? The floor is uncomfy.” He nodded and you both got up before going to lay down on the couch. “I love you, BradBrad.”

He chuckled and gently rubbed your side, “I love you too, Duckie.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

my ducklings <33: @roosterscockpit @milesdickpic @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @hisredheadedgoddess28 @malindacath @avengers-fixation @shawnsblue @caitsymichelle13 @classycolorpeach @mayhemmanaged @startrekfangirl2233 @bobby-r2d2-floyd @twsssmlmaa​ @horseshoegirl​ @babyreads​ @amatswimming @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @cassiemitchell​ @callsignwidow @kmc1989​   @goodstuff28​ @pjngpp3501​ @lunamoonbby​ @joyfulpandamiracle​ @craftyinfluencersandwich @averyhotchner​ @emily-roberts​ @teenwolf01 @sunderland-6​ @bethabear12​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @dempy​ @djs8891​ @ingoaliesitrust @novavida​ @tigerfan24 @lynnestra44​​ @lilmonstrjedi

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[thdorkmagnet]

Hello all! Got something a bit different for you today. Since I've been gone, I've fallen deep into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fandom (you can thank Mutant Mayhem for that) and I've created a fanfiction for a truly lovely comic from @indieyuugure known as Indie's Turtles. The actual comic itself isn't out just yet but they've been posting stuff for it and I just knew I needed to make something for it!

This fanfiction takes place during the Space Arc (link here) and deals with Donnie's trauma after the events of the previous arc the Save Donnie Arc (Links here, here, and here). Basically, Bishop kidnapped Donnie and experimented on him and the bros had to swoop in and rescue him. I also touch on some this comic (linkie here too) at one point.

Also please go easy on me if anyone is out of character this is my first time writing any version of the turtles ever! Haha, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any of its variants. Indie's Turtles/ Indie TMNT belong to @indieyuugure.

The door to the ship's bathroom slid open, Donnie stumbling into the room a moment after, his breathing heavy and labored, a hand clenched tightly to his chest. He froze for a second, realizing too late that the bathroom was smaller than he remembered, already feeling suffocated inside. But he was snapped back to reality as the door slid shut behind him, the noise causing him to jump. Using this new wave of panic, Donnie willed himself forward, muttering the command to the ship's AI to activate the door lock. 

He practically fell against the sink, leaning all his weight on it as his knees shook terribly. His hands just dangled there, hot sticky blood dripping onto white marble, Donnie squeezing tighter in some vain effort to stop the bleeding but there was too much of it- there was so much blood- he needed to wash it off. Get it off, get it off, get it off. In order to do that he needed to turn on the sink. Steeling himself, Donnie released his grip, only for a new wave of blood to slide down his hand, pooling in the sink. Donnie shuddered, keeping his right hand turned down so he didn’t have to see. In a single fluid motion he turned the handle, hot water instantly bursting from the pipes. Without a second of hesitation he stuck both hands into the falling stream, wincing as the gash in his hand throbbed. As the majority of the blood washed away down the drain, Donnie felt his breathing start to steady, his mind returning to him. Okay, okay, this wasn’t so bad. He was… he was doing good. He just needed to clean the wound up, slap a bandaid on and it would be over. There was no need to panic. He was safe. 

But as he flipped his hand over to examine the gash, a new wave of terror clenched his heart. The entirety of his middle finger had been split open, endless waves of blood spurting from the cut and Donnie was pretty sure he could see the bone. A wave of nausea hit Donnie all at once and he gagged, pressing his good hand over his mouth to try and keep it down. Hot water soon poured into the gash, a muffled hiss escaping Donnie’s lips at the pain. Pain, pain. It hurt so bad. Make it stop hurting. Donnie’s breathing became raw and raspy, struggling to pull enough air into his lungs. He was dying. The pain was unbearable as the pressure of the water cut into the wound. He could feel the blood flowing from his body, leaving a horrible, hollow feeling behind. The water was too hot, every drop felt like needles being jabbed into his skin, over and over again. Get them out, get them out. 

He tried to remember the breathing technique dad had taught him but he couldn’t find it in the cacophony of thoughts screaming in his head. Stop, stop. Pain. No more. Brothers. Need my brothers. Donnie let out a wail, thankful the sound was muffled by his hand. It was too much. The blood was everywhere. He was dying.

“Oh relax turtle, you aren’t dying.” 

Donnie whimpered and squirmed as the needle was jabbed into his arm just below the elbow. It hit a vein, he could feel it. He felt the blood being drained out of him. It burned. He squirmed, trying to break free, trying to escape but he couldn’t. He was trapped. He was helpless. Where were his brothers?!

“STAY STILL! Unless you want it to hurt more.” The threat made his blood run cold. Even though it burned. He hated this. He hated this place. This was agony. 

Finally, the needle was ripped from his arm and Donnie hissed, squeezing his eyes shut to hide the forming tears. The man didn’t even bother to clean or cover the puncture wound, a stream of warm blood dripping down  Donnie’s arm, echoing the tears that slid down his cheeks.  

“All that fuss over one little needle. You are making this so much more difficult than it needs to be.” Good. If Donnie was going to go through this he wanted to make it as painful for this monster as possible. He was about to make a witty retort but before he could the man spoke again, his voice cold and cynical. “You might as well get used to it, y'know. We’ll be at this for a while.” 

Donnie didn’t even have time to scream before he felt the stab of another needle and the whole painful process started over again. 

Donnie was trembling head to toe now, his body drenched in sweat as the flashback ended. Or paused really, since he was currently reliving the nightmare in real time. Tears dripped down his face as he sobbed brokenly. He shoved both arms entirely under the running faucet scrubbing at them with his good hand and his bad, dripping blood all over him. Everything itched. Everything hurt. He was coming undone. The sobs wracked his whole body, his tears mixing with the blood and water, a flood of pink filling the sink before swirling down the drain in a hypnotizing dance. Donnie felt his attention pulling away from the wound and onto the drain, watching it with a kind of mindless fascination. 

He felt light-headed, like his brain had detached from his body floating freely above, an observer in his own skin. He could hear his thoughts roaring in his head, feel the knots in his stomach and the tears on his cheeks, the throbs of pain in his hand, but it was like he wasn’t there. He was separated, disconnected. The logical part of his brain told him he was losing too much blood. He needed to stop the bleeding. But that part was so far away. He couldn’t hear it through the fog. He fell to his knees. He wanted to lay down. He wanted to lay there and drift away. Maybe he would find a new self to inhabit. One that wasn’t so broken. One that didn’t hurt like he was hurting. He could just drift away and…

Footsteps. Footsteps down the hall. Someone was coming. Something about that grounded Donnie, pulling him back into himself. His head still spun but he was there again, in his own body. He tried to stand, using the sink for support, feeling his knees wobble but somehow keeping his balance. Who was it? Who was coming? His brothers? Fugitoid? Were they coming to check on him? How long had he been gone? They couldn’t see him like this. He didn’t want to be seen. He didn’t want to be touched. If they found him here they would make him go to the medbay and the thought of that alone made him nauseas all over again. He couldn’t. He couldn’t go in there, no matter what. 

Thinking fast he turned on the showerhead, water bursting from the nozzle and soaking the floor. Steam flooded the room, fogging Donnie’s glasses, rendering him blind. But at the very least it was no longer obvious he had been crying. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around his hand, trying to stop the bleeding or at least try and hide it. Which seemed pointless since there was blood everywhere now. 

There was a soft knock on the door and Donnie jumped. Every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire. Or maybe that was just the heat from the shower and faucet finally getting to him. 

“Hey, Don, you in there?” Leo. It was Leo on the other side of the door and he suddenly felt compelled to run into his arms and hide there until the pain ended. He might have done so if his legs weren’t shaking so much. 

“Y-Yeah,” Donnie stuttered, hoping he sounded normal and not… well, the opposite. 

“How long you been in there?” Leo asked, a hint of concern in his tone. 

He had been expecting that question. It was a normal occurrence for him ever since he had started to shower longer than he should, since Mikey had found him in the middle of his multiple-hour showering sessions, scratching at his arms until they had been rubbed raw. Since then his family and friends had tried to limit the amount of time he was allowed to spend in the bathroom. “J-Just now,” he replied, trying to pull the towel tighter. It was starting to bleed through. 

“Didn’t you get one earlier today?” Did he? Don couldn’t think straight, couldn’t make sense of the confusing mess of his mind, the fog still present and persistent. 

“I, uh, spilled something on me. Needed to wash it off.” It was a weak lie but it was the best Donnie could do right now. 

There was a pause as Leo seemed to hesitate. “...Are you doing okay?”

Donnie felt his chest clench. Had Leo seen through him? Did he know he was lying? What had tipped him off? “N-No, I’m fine, everything’s fine.” Why wouldn’t he just go away? Donnie’s resolve wasn’t very strong right now and he knew with enough pushing Leo could get the truth out of him. Maybe even get him out of the bathroom. He wasn't sure if he wanted that or not.  

Another pause before a tired sigh. “Don, there’s blood leading from your lab to here.” Donnie flinched, wondering how he had overlooked something so simple. Wasn’t he supposed to be smarter than that? Leo seemed to be waiting for a response but Donnie didn’t know what to say, his tongue suddenly feeling like lead in his mouth, his thoughts too jumbled and the pain too great for him to form any kind of excuse. Finally, Leo continued, his tone gentle and coaxing. “Look, I know you probably want to be alone right now but, uh, I just want to make sure you're okay. It was… a lot of blood and I know you don’t… handle that well.” 

Donnie swallowed, his eyes flooding with tears yet again, the urge to run to his brother growing stronger by the second. 

Leo’s voice was soft. Calculated. “I won't push you. I just want to help."

“P-Promise you won’t say anything,” Donnie finally managed to get out.

“I won’t, I promise,” Leo’s voice replied, hopeful, relieved. 

“And don’t m-make me go to the medbay. I don’t… I can’t.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Leo sounded a bit confused by that request but still agreed in a heartbeat. That was enough for Don, sucking in a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves as he muttered the unlock command, the door sliding open in an instant. Leo shuffled inside, eyes wide, clearly taken aback by the state of the small bathroom. Then his eyes fell on his brother and Donnie felt the sudden urge to hide. He knew it must be quite a sight to see, Donnie and the bathroom covered in blood, hot steam billowing out of the small room in droves, cheeks damp with fresh tears and a bloody towel haphazardly wrapped around his right hand. But somehow Leo kept his promise, clenching his jaw tightly, forcing his face to stay neutral. Still Donnie squirmed in place, wondering what he was supposed to do or say now that Leo was here. An explanation would probably be nice.

“I-I was tinkering with some of Fugitoid’s tech and the- the metal piece slipped and well…” Donnie felt his skin crawl and he shuddered, the sentence dying on his tongue. He looked away, no longer feeling strong enough to face his brother, feeling hollow and exposed. What was Leo going to say, what was he going to do? If the roles were reversed Donnie would be lecturing by now. A few tears pricked at his eyes. He didn’t want his brother to see him this way, so useless and scared and broken.

But all Leo did was crouch down in front of his brother, slowly holding a hand out to him, waiting patiently for Donnie to react. It took him a few seconds to process what Leo wanted, a silent request to check Donnie’s finger. Don hesitated but finally worked up the courage to give him his hand, placing it flat against his brother's palm. Slowly Leo unfolded the towel, expression focused but calm. As cold air hit the open wound, Donnie hissed through his teeth. Leo’s eyes widened, worry etched into his features as he stared at the gash, some blood already starting to leak out again. 

It felt like a lifetime before Leo moved again, finally nodding to himself, a decision made before he met Donnie’s eyes. “It needs stitches.” 

Donnie felt a tremble jump up his spine, pulling his hand away and to his shell, shaking his head violently. No. No needles. He couldn’t. He struggled to articulate this though, instead merely whimpering pathetically. “I know, Dee, I know,” Leo said softly, shooting his brother an apologetic smile. “But there’s no other way. It’s gotta be done.” Donnie knew he was right but it still terrified him. “Let’s go back to my room, okay. I'm sure you don't wanna do it on the bathroom floor." 

Donnie nodded numbly, allowing his brother to take command like he always did, gently pulling him to his feet. Leo grabbed another towel and wrapped it around the gash, tying a knot to try and hold it better in place. He then instructed Donnie to put pressure on the wound, guiding his shaking hands as Donnie failed to follow along with what Leo was saying. He felt really dizzy and tired all of a sudden, the pain and panic still tugging at his heart and head but almost… muted now. He was disconnecting again, he realized. Only this time he had Leo to ground him. 

Leo turned off the faucet and showerhead before wrapping an arm around brother's shell, keeping him steady as he swayed unevenly on his feet. Donnie hadn't even noticed. Leo's other hand was cupped over Donnie's, helping to add a bit more pressure. It felt nice. 

"What about the mess?" Donnie sluggishly asked, feeling a pang of guilt for reasons he didn't really understand. 

"Later. Right now we gotta get you patched up." 

Donnie grunted in agreement, finding himself leaning into his brother, allowing Leo to guide him to his room. He felt Leo shift, readjusting his grip so he could better support Donnie’s weight.

He needed this, Donnie realized. This comforting grip from his brother, this safety. He hadn’t realized just how much he had come to rely on the others since Bishop. Some days it felt like their support was the only thing keeping him stable. It made him feel a bit… helpless. In the past the others had always relied on him, he was the brains, the inventor, the medic, the one they went to when they didn’t know what to do. Now though. Now he relied on them. An equal exchange maybe. Donnie didn’t know anymore and he was too tired to care. Right now he just wanted to be there in the protective grip of his older brother and believe everything was okay. 

Maybe that was enough for now. 

…

Leo had experience with pain.

As the oldest and the leader, Leo was used to taking the hits the others couldn't. He did his best to cover their weaknesses, to endure the brunt of the attack so that his family didn’t have to. He thought he could take it, he had a high pain tolerance only rivaled by Raph, and most of his injuries healed pretty quickly anyways. At the time, he thought he was being heroic, but looking back it had been nothing more than naive stupidity. 

It was only when he got his first real taste of pain Leo learned he wasn't as invincible or as strong as he thought he was. It had felt like dying. The agony, the fear, the helplessness, they were thoughts and feelings he had never known before. No loss had ever felt like this, nothing had ever come so close to breaking him before. Sometimes late at night, he wondered if he actually had broken and just pretended not to notice. Those nights he usually never got to sleep. 

When Leo finally woke, body still alive with pain but no longer alone, surrounded by his family and friends, he had thought the worst was over. But once again it was either optimism or innocence blinding him to the truth. 

He hadn’t escaped from the fight, it had just changed form. 

The weeks and months that followed were the hardest of his entire life, a never-ending struggle against his own mind and body, nightmares and flashbacks haunted him like ghosts, and the few bits of Leo left felt so utterly empty, like there was nothing of him left at all. Every day was a fight that left him drained and exhausted, pushing his limits and tearing at the fabric of his sanity, always one step away from unraveling the empty self Leo had become. 

Somehow though, Leo had kept going, kept pushing, kept trying. He still didn't entirely know why, maybe it was his dad in him, maybe he was just too stubborn to roll over and die, or maybe it was the leader refusing to abandon his team, but something in him kept him going. Kept him fighting. He fought for his family, for his friends, for his city, for himself.

And slowly, ever so slowly, things got better. Easier. Day by day, step by step, Leo got better. There were still hard days when he fell apart all over again but he was strong enough to overcome them now. He wouldn't say he was healed, not completely, but he was more whole, more himself. 

Which is why it felt like sick irony that the moment Leo started to feel more whole it was Donnie who fell apart. His time as Bishop's experiment had been brief but it had left him in the same broken state Leo knew all too well. The circumstances were different but the scars they left were the same. And if Leo had thought it was painful experiencing it firsthand, it was pure agony watching the same thing happen to his brother, to Donnie.

The others had noticed the changes in him, too, but not on the same level as Leo. No Leo was painfully aware of every hitch in his brother's breath, every involuntary flinch at the wrong word or sound, every shudder when he thought no one was looking. He knew them because at one time they had been his. 

Leo did his best to be what Donnie needed him to be. A pillar of strength in a sea of darkness and fear. He remembered his family's support during his lowest and how much it had done for him. Leo wanted, needed, to be that for Donnie. And as the group made the jump from New York to space, Leo started seeing a more positive response from his brother. The fear still lingered but it was drowned out by the thrill of discovery, Donnie captivated by the new technology he saw, enthralled by the new places and species they encountered, an eagerness to learn and understand that was so fundamentally Donnie it made Leo's chest hurt. He had missed this side of his brother. More than he knew. And maybe that was why he foolishly, stupidly, started to believe that things were better. That Donnie was fine.

Leo really had to stop pretending he knew anything. 

Seeing the blood staining Donnie’s workbench had been a wake-up call, a cold splash of reality that turned his veins to ice. His body moved before his mind could, running down the metallic halls of the ship using the trail of blood to guide him. He reprimanded himself, cursed himself, for ever believing Donnie was okay. Not when he knew the effort it took to heal, to make any kind of progress. It was an exhausting struggle, a push and pull against hope and despair that never seemed to reach a victor. Even if things had improved Donnie’s scars were too new, too fresh, that anything could send him spiraling. Leo still remembered the first month in the farmhouse when Mikey had fumbled and shattered a cup. The family was more careful around glass after that. 

Leo hadn't started breathing again until he heard Don's voice through the bathroom door. It surprised him that his brother had chosen to take shelter there, since small spaces tended to be another trigger of Donnie’s. He must have been desperate. It had taken some gentle persuasion to get inside, giving Leo momentary relief as he feared Donnie might completely shut him out in this state. However, all thoughts froze the moment he saw his younger brother. 

It felt like looking into a twisted mirror, distorted but still the same, reflecting his past self back at him. Donnie’s body was covered in blood, cheeks red and puffy from crying, his breathing shallow and quick. It had clearly been a bad attack, one of the worst Leo had ever witnessed and his heart ached for his brother. He struggled to keep his face neutral, trying to remember the promise he had made, clenching his jaw and biting down so hard on his tongue he tasted blood. Donnie seemed to shrink under his gaze, trying to offer a weak explanation that quickly broke off as his eyes grew listless and empty, clearly pulled back into a painful memory. Leo could guess which one. 

There was something achingly familiar in Donnie’s broken look, he could see him struggle to hold back the torrent of emotions pulling him down and Leo feared if he did nothing his brother might drown in it. No, Leo thought, steeling himself. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to hold Donnie up until he could swim on his own again, the way Don and the others had done for him. So he had shoved it all down, all the emotions threatening to strangle him, and forced himself to focus on his brother. He had decided to come at it logically, turning his attention to the most pressing concern right then which was most definitely the gash in his brother’s hand. The panic attack seemed to have mostly subsided, even if it had left Donnie shook, but even with a towel pressed to it, he had clearly still been bleeding. And he had lost too much blood already. 

He hated how his brother seemed to recoil at the first mention of stitches. The way Donnie pulled his hand away and shook his head reminded Leo of when they were kids and their dad had tried to coax Donnie into eating something on his plate he disliked. Donnie had always been the picky eater of the family. Leo felt himself trying to match his dad’s tone in those moments, soft, apologetic, but with no room for argument. It surprised him a little when Donnie wordlessly agreed, expecting some kind of fight on the matter. 

But as he practically carried his brother to his room, it occurred to him that Don just didn’t have the energy to argue. For some reason, that made Leo’s stomach twist into knots. Donnie had felt so limp against him, his movements sluggish and unfocused, the exact opposite of the brother he knew and loved. He wanted that brother back so, so badly. 

As they settled on Leo’s bed, however, small bits of Donnie started to return, reprimanding Leo for forgetting to disinfect the wound before starting, even if he kept his eyes on the far wall instead of his brother. He had begun a long-winded rant about the dangers of infection and Leo had just let him talk, knowing it was more to distract himself than to actually educate. He still noticeably flinched every time Leo pressed the needle into his skin but both turtles pretended not to notice. 

Eventually, the speech had trailed off and Donnie went uncharacteristically quiet. An uncomfortable silence filled the room, the only sound was the tapping of Donnie’s foot against the ground, anxiously bouncing as he fought to hold back the panic. Leo glanced up every so often to see how his brother was holding up, everytime greeted by the same wide eyed look staring off into the distance instead of at him. Donnie had pressed a hand against his mouth, possibly to cover the frantic breathing Leo could just barely make out. He tried to work faster but stitches were a bit outside his area of expertise. He had tried to point this out to Don but his brother was adamant that it needed to be him. Leo couldn’t help but feel flattered by that, even if a part of him knew it was just Donnie being cautious. Mikey and Raph were likely to freak and that only raised his chances of visiting the dreaded medbay. That meant Leo had to take the extra time to do it right. He couldn’t risk it reopening and causing a fiasco. Or worse, send Donnie spiraling all over again. 

So instead, he did his best to distract, asking Donnie a question he hoped would get him talking again. "So, Don, what were you working on? Anything interesting?"

Donnie flinched before going still, even the tapping stopped, drawing Leo’s attention upwards. Leo saw his brother’s eyes glaze over and nearly panicked, worried he had said the wrong thing. But before he could try and change the subject Donnie responded softly, "I was trying to upgrade my staff."

Leo held in a sigh, returning his focus back on the stitches. Good. At least Donnie was talking. “Oh. What kinda upgrades?” Leo had done some minor tweaks with his katanas in the past but knowing Don his plans were probably excessively excessive. 

“Well for starters I’m going to reinforce the base using titanium to help strengthen it in combat. From there I have some ideas for additional weapon enhancements.”

“With like, what? Missiles? Rockets? Lasers?” Leo teased. 

“Yes,” Donnie said simply and the grin vanished from Leo’s lips. Okay, yep, that was definitely excessive. And unnecessary. They were ninjas, they were supposed to be silent killers, it was gonna be kinda hard to do that if they were blowing up anything that got close to them. 

But not wanting to offend his brother, he instead asked, “Isn’t that more replacing than upgrading?” 

“Perhaps to some.” There was no emotion in Donnie’s tone, his eyes growing distant and vacant. Though his foot had started tapping again, the only indication of his distress.

Leo swallowed down the lump in his throat, lowering his gaze again as he finished off his current stitch and started the next one. He felt Donnie tense and gave him a weak apology. “Sorry, almost done.” 

“It’s fine.” Nothing about Donnie’s tone was fine but Leo didn’t want to comment on it and neither did his brother. 

“So when do I get to see this cool futuristic staff?” Leo asked, trying to put as much enthusiasm in his voice as he could. 

Donnie let out a tired sigh. “Too early to say. It’s still very much a work in progress. I haven’t even finished the frame.” 

“Well whenever it’s done, I’m sure it’ll be awesome. Like everything you make,” Leo complimented. 

Donnie grunted in agreement before going quiet again. Luckily, Leo was close to finishing so he decided to let the silence settle, focusing intensely as he added the last few stitches. Once he was done, he tied a small knot at the end to keep it from unraveling before severing the thread and putting it and the needle back in the small case sitting next to him. 

“There done,” Leo said in relief, observing his handiwork. It was far from perfect, the stitches crooked and poorly spaced, no doubt Fugitoid could have done it better, but the wound was sealed and that’s what mattered. At the very least he didn’t have to worry about Donnie further injuring himself. 

After a moment, Donnie inspected his finger as well, something akin to fear flashing across his eyes before he looked away. Leo wasted no time in sliding a black fingerless glove over the wound. “I-It looks good.” Donnie’s voice cracked and he quickly cleared his throat to try and hide the slip up. “Decent work for your first time.” His fingers seemed to subconsciously pick at the glove as he nervously spoke. 

“I’m sure Fugitoid could have done it better. Or you for that matter," Leo replied. 

Donnie swallowed before giving him a weak smile. “Regardless, it was a good job. You did a good job."

Leo paused, waiting to see if Donnie had more to say. There certainly seemed to be more, something heavy and unspoken hovering between them. But Leo didn't push, instead returning the compliment with a grateful nod. "Glad the genius approves," he joked. "Although it's probably going to scar, there wasn't much I could do about-"

"Why aren't you asking me about what happened?!" Donnie blurted out and Leo went silent, waiting patiently for his brother to finish. "Go ahead, I know you wanna know right! Or maybe you wanna lecture me! Tell me how broken I am! How I'm being careless! How I nearly died because I was too stubborn to ask for help!" There was anger in his tone, raw and vile and hateful, and while Leo was the target, he knew he wasn't the source. He wanted to believe it was Bishop who had invoked Donnie's wrath but he knew better. 

This kind of anger could only ever be self-inflicted. 

Donnie buried his face in his hands, unknowingly sliding his glasses up to his forehead, hiding the frustrated tears threatening to spill over. "I just don't understand what you're waiting for! You already saw everything, I know you're worried about me!" Donnie barked out a soulless chuckle. "I'm worried about me! If Mikey or Raph were here they would have already dragged it out of me! So why aren't you?!" 

Leo nearly laughed at the irony. He remembered having those exact thoughts when Raph had comforted him. Leo had woken from a particularly violent nightmare, panting and bathed in sweat. He had given up on the hopes of sleep thanks to the throbs of pain from his newly acquired wounds, instead sneaking downstairs to play video games. He didn't even bother picking one out, just playing what was already in the N64. His thoughts began to wander as he played through a few levels of Street Smash, muscle memory kicking in as he powered through enemy after enemy. Leo's thoughts, however, were stuck in a losing battle as he relived that night again and again and again. He was lost so deep in the memory he didn't even notice Raph until he was standing over his shoulder, questioning why Leo was up at 3 in the morning. 

Leo tried to dodge the question, anxiously waiting for Raph to call him out, to begin pestering him for answers he was too tired and too broken to give, to turn the game off and force him back into bed. Instead, he plopped down next to him and started to play too. Of all the responses Leo had been anticipating this was not it. Here Raph was pleasantly chatting about Street Smash as if the brother sitting next to him wasn't sleep-deprived and traumatized. It was jarring but not unpleasant, the first real sense of normalcy since he woke up. 

It didn't take much for Leo to open up after that, the silence that settled between them the final push he needed to get him talking. It was reluctant at first but soon he couldn't stop the words as they poured out of him, burning like fire on his tongue. And Raph just listened, watching him with gentle, worried eyes. That split open a dam in Leo's heart, tears rolling down his cheeks in waves. Raph pulled him into a hug and Leo just cried for all he lost. He felt like a little lost kid as he buried his head in Raph's plastron, sobbing brokenly.

It felt like a lifetime before the tears finally stopped, leaving Leo too exhausted to move or think or feel. He expected Raph to let go but he just continued to hold him there, rubbing soft circles into Leo’s shell. A calmness settled over him, strange and foreign but not unpleasant. He leaned into the feeling, letting it settle in his bones. 

Raph asked if Leo wanted to go to bed but he shook his head, worried that the nightmares would chase this warm feeling away, leaving him lost to coldness and fear. Raph finally pulled out of the hug but only so he could snuggle against Leo, picking up his controller and restarting the level. The two stayed up the rest of the night playing video games and Raph never once spoke about what happened, content to just sit there in silence with his brother. 

Things got a little easier after that, leaving Leo a little stronger to face what was to come. Leo didn't know where he would be now if Raph hadn't been there that night to listen, to support him, to pull him out of the brink of despair and help him find his footing again. 

Now it was his turn to be that for Donnie. 

Leo considered his words carefully, asking himself what Donnie most needed to hear right now. "Did you want to talk about what happened?" 

Donnie seemed taken aback by this reply, shifting awkwardly on Leo's bed. "Not particularly," he mumbled.

"Then we won't," Leo replied simply. Donnie's eyes narrowed suspiciously, doubt written across his features. Clearly Donnie wasn't taking him at his word. He looked like he expected the whole thing to be a trick, like any second Leo might suddenly start prying into things he'd rather keep to himself. It was distinctly familiar, a look Donnie had flashed him a hundred times and he very nearly laughed in relief. 

"What, I'm being serious! Yeah I'm worried about you but I'm not gonna force you to talk about stuff. I'm here to support you, Don, in whatever way you need." 

Donnie’s expression softened but the skepticism didn't quite go away. "So we can just sit here? In silence?"

"If that's what you need."

"And there are no ulterior motives?" Donnie moved in so their faces were inches apart. "Like, perhaps, getting me to talk about what happened with… Bishop." Leo didn't miss the subtle shudder at the mention of Donnie's captor. 

Leo kept his face neutral, matching his brother's suspicious look with one of sympathy. "You just came down from a panic attack, pushing you is the last thing I'm going to do." 

Donnie hesitated, Leo practically seeing the gears turn in his brother's head, before finally giving a curt nod, collapsing back onto the bed with a noticeable sigh. "Thank you," he mumbled, pulling off his glasses so he could massage his eyes with his one good hand. Leo studied his brother closely. All the emotion had washed from Donnie’s face leaving only exhaustion in its place. Leo could see the eyebags, thick and heavy, an exact match for his own back in the day. Who knows how long it had been since Donnie had a good night's sleep. 

"I'm sorry you had to see me that way," Donnie finally said. Even his tone was just tired.

"Dee, you've seen me fall apart plenty of times," Leo reminded him. 

"Yes but for you it was more justified." 

That gave Leo pause, unsure how to even process that statement. What was that even supposed to mean? That Donnie's wasn't justified? That he deserved it! What kind of nonsense was that?! Leo just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How could Donnie, his genius of a brother, not only say something so obviously false but actually believe it! It was baffling! "I- What- How is that-" Leo sucked in a breath, gathering his thoughts, not sure where to even start to dissect Donnie’s logic. "Okay, back up. Explain to me how exactly what happened to me was 'justified' compared to you."

"You almost died." Donnie said it like it was obvious. Like it was a fact. 

"You weren't exactly living it up when we found you, Don," Leo reminded him.

Donnie sat up in a flash. "True but I wasn't at risk of dying. Bishop made it quite clear he intended to keep me alive. You, on the other hand, nearly lost your life! You were in a coma for three weeks! You have scars that permanently altered your body! In comparison, I should be doing so much better!"

"And you went through something just as awful, Don!" Leo argued, putting both hands on his brother's shoulders. "Don't turn what happened into a contest of measuring scars, you went through a crappy situation and now you're trying to heal from it, end of story."

Donnie growled in frustration. "But I still should be doing better! What happened is already done! I know that! But the second something goes wrong it's like I'm back there and I can't convince myself I'm not and every little thing sets me off and I just don't know what i'm doing anymore! Nothing makes sense! I don't know how to fix it!" Donnie pressed both fists into the side of his head, the pressure enough Leo feared he would leave bruises. If Donnie had hair he was sure his brother would have ripped it up by the roots already. Instead he just pressed tighter in some vain effort to physically squeeze the thoughts from his head. 

Leo gave his brother a sad smile before gripping him by the wrists, pulling his hands away from his skull. Donnie gave him a look of tearful bewilderment but it seemed to refocus him a little. Another flashback, no doubt. "I know, Don. I know it's hard. Believe me I do. But this isn't something you can just fix. It takes time and it takes energy, sometimes more than you feel like you can give. It's like… y'know the metaphor about climbing over the mountain?"

Donnie's nonexistent eyebrows pinched together, giving Leo a puzzled look. "Vaguely," came the skeptic reply.

"Well it's kinda like that, only the hardest part isn't getting to the peak, it's getting knocked back down and still having enough strength to climb back up."

Donnie gave him a long, hard stare. "Your metaphor has several holes in it," he deadpanned.

Leo's face lit up in a blush. "Hey, I'm trying here," he groaned pathetically. "This stuff isn't exactly easy to talk about."

Donnie lowered his gaze, staring at his gloved hand distantly. "Still, I do get what you're trying to say. For me, it's just… not that simple." His eyes narrowed, nose wrinkling in disgust. "Everyone is… counting on me! They can't afford to wait for me to get better! I don't have time to fall apart!" A few tears dripped onto his opened palm and he clenched it into a fist and looked away. 

Leo gently reached out and cupped Donnie's hand in his own, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles the way Raph had to Leo’s shell that night. "I know it's hard for you. You've always been the type to give and give until there's nothing left to give. But you can't do that now, Donnie. Not with this. You gotta put yourself first this time."

"But Leo I can't just stop-"

"I'm not asking you to stop. I'm asking you to slow down and give yourself the time when you need it. Can you at least do that? For me?"

Donnies breath hitched, coughing as he tried to suppress the sob. He wiped away a few stray tears, nodding silently. "Yeah," he choked out. 

Leo felt the tension in his body start to fade. That’s all he wanted to hear. To know that Donnie would listen. That he wouldn’t push himself until he broke. That he wouldn’t give more than he had to spare. That was enough for now. Leo could help with everything else. He would be there. He'd make sure of it. "Good," he whispered. "And it gets easier, for the record. You just gotta take it one day at a time." 

Donnie sighed, sliding his glasses back on. "I sincerely hope so. I have a lot of projects to finish and I hate the idea of stalling them every time things get bad." 

"But you will, right?" Leo shot him a scolding glare. 

Donnie just rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, I already said I would. What do you need me to cross my heart, pinkie swear, maybe give it to you in writing?"

Leo couldn't help but smile. This was the brother he was missing. He had changed, grown more skittish, but he was still fundamentally Donnie. In the same way Leo was still Leo. No amount of pain could take that away from them. 

"No, that's good enough," Leo said with a shake of his head. "And hey, if you ever need help with all this, just know I'm here for you. Whenever you need it." 

Donnie seemed to contemplate this for a moment, slowly opening his mouth to speak. Leo kept his face even but felt hope flutter in his chest all the same. Maybe today was the day his brother would finally talk about Bishop, finally find some relief from the pain building and bubbling inside him. But Donnie seemed to think better of it, mouth snapping shut as he gave a half-hearted nod. "Thanks, I'll … keep that in mind."

Leo masked his disappointment behind an understanding smile. He wasn't ready yet. That was okay. They could take this as slow as Donnie needed. Baby steps. 

Instead he moved to slide off the bed, only for warm arms to envelop him from behind. Leo froze and held his breath, worried Donnie might take back the hug and pretend it never happened. But he didn't. Instead, Don clung tighter, pulling Leo as close as they could go until they were pressed shell to shell. Leo slowly turned to try and read his brother's facial expression but Donnie had already buried his head in his shoulder and out of sight. Leo could hear and feel Donnie’s breath shudder as if fighting back tears.

"Please stay." The request was so soft Leo barely heard it. It made his heart shatter and melt at the same time. Despite being taller, Donnie looked so small pressed up against him, and Leo swallowed back the lump in his throat. How long had it been since his younger brother had clung to him like this? Not since he was thrown through that window, Leo realized. The day Donnie's perception of his older brother had changed forever, the day Leo had proven to be fallible. Yet another thing lost to the Shredder's brutality. 

Leo gave Don's arms a squeeze. "I will," he reassured softly. "Can I give you a hug?" 

Donnie nodded, releasing his grip long enough for Leo to turn towards him before latching on again, pressing himself firmly, almost possessively, against his brother’s shell. The mountains had given way to ocean, the waters stormy and violent, the depths eagerly waiting to swallow them whole. Waves of despair crashed against them, threatening to pull them under, while the icy wind whispered their demise.

Donnie sobbed once and clung to his lifeline with all he was worth and Leo hugged back just as tightly, promising he wouldn't let them drown. 

Soon Leo would have to let go. He couldn't leave blood splattered all over the ship, not unless he wanted the others to have a meltdown. But right now, he just wanted to hold his little brother. To know that he was here, that he was safe. He needed that reassurance just as much as Donnie did. There was still a long road ahead for both of them. But in this moment, they were okay. Everything was okay.  

And maybe that was enough for now.

Thank you for reading! I had a lot of fun with this little side project! It was supposed to be done in a day but then I got stuck on Leo's part and ended up spending a month on it haha! This story was mostly an excuse for my headcannons about Donnie post-kidnapping. That being his germaphobia getting increasingly worse, taking extra long showers, and scratching at his arms without thinking. He also hates the medbay on the ship since it makes him have flashbacks to Bishop. During the writing process I actually remembered Indie's post about Donnie's trauma and was surprised I was right on the nose with a lot of it haha. I also briefly hinted on the fact that Donnie feels inferior to Fugitoid but didn't want to dive too deep since I know Indie will do it much better than I can here. There was a lot of speculation going on for stuff but I'm happy with how it turned out! Still can't wait for the actual comic though haha!

[morgue-friends]

Evil Dead Rise | Deadite! Ellie x Female Reader

Summary: Being a babysitter for a single mom and her three kids shouldn't be this scary.

(Plotline follows the plot of the movie except the kandarian demon wins, of course.)

Warnings: Very nsfw, a lot of gore, oral sex, age gap, dub-con, multiple character deaths, and the kandarian demon is his own warning.

"See, doesn't this look so much better?"

You put the pink barbie hair brush on the table and handed Kassie her amalgamation of a plaything. Sitting on your lap were clumps of blonde plastic doll hair. The other two children looked at their younger sister and smiled at her profound weirdness for her self crafted guardian, 'Staffanie'.

"If she hurts someone with that, I'm blaming you." Beth took a look at your handiwork and simply shook her head.

"I'm also blaming you!" Ellie's playful voice chimed in from the kitchen. The two of you locked eyes for what felt like forever. Her piercing blue eyes were so beautifully expressive to you. They made every little expression she made for each of her different emotions look so elegant. You could only dream of having eyes like hers.

The eye contact between you two broke when Beth picked up her backpack and started passing around gifts. She handed you a rusty silver keychain that was in the shape of a guitar.

"Sorry, I got caught in the rain with this one. My bag was drenched." She clenched her stomach in pain and hunched over.

"Hey, you good?" You gave her a questioning look, and she offered you a pitiful smile. "Ate some shitty foreign food." You didn't question her further and the conversation moved on to the topic of Ellie's freshly dyed hair. Everyone at the table complimented her on it, but when it was your turn, her children looked at you with knowing faces.

"Oh, I almost forgot! I got this for your dad." Beth pridefully brandished the cheap tourist mug at the table, and everyone's faces fell flat.

"Uh, I'm going to take the kids to get pizza…" You expected Ellie to give you a look of approval, but she only kept her intense stare with her sister. There was a lot of sorrow and hurt within her eyes.

"Danny can do it. You can go home for the night. Thank you." The way she said was completely robotic and monotone, she was clearly upset, and you didn't want to press her on it. She hired you to babysit the kids while she worked, and that's all your job was, nothing more and nothing less.

Feeling out of place, you said goodnight to everyone, grabbed your stuff, and left. You weren't going to debate with her as they weren't your kids, and you've only known them for a couple of months. You had just moved in and needed a cheap enough place to stay that you can balance with your college tuition when she offered you the job.

Ellie couldn't afford to pay you after the first month, but you still stayed and helped out. With not having any kids of your own and barely knowing anyone in the city, you felt like you had a genuine family and a home away from home. You'd be a complete liar if you said you didn't have any kind of romantic feelings for the single mother.

You got in the elevator and watched as the kids came running behind you. They all had somber faces, but it was Kassie that leaned her face into your side and let you hold her until the elevator stopped at your floor.

"Don't fuck the pizzeria up please I like eating there too. Call me when you get back in the house." With that their eyes perked up and brightened and they all had smiles once again. The elevator closed behind you and you let your shoulders slump. You put the key in your apartment door and didn't even have to look in the mirror beside your front door to know your eyes were watery and you were moments from crying.

You felt like such an idiot, she hadn't even divorced yet, she was practically your boss, and she was old enough to be your own mother yet here you were catching feelings like they were sicknesses. You threw your guitar keychain against the wall and buried your face into your couch.

You were going to sleep this off. Yeah, that's exactly what you were going to do. Just get up in the morning and do your online classes while babysitting the kids and hope that this would all be swept over in the morning.

You hadn't even realized you dozed off face down on the couch until the room shaking awoke you. With hair strewn wildly across your face, you got down on the ground and braced yourself for the earthquake. When it was over and you were still alive you almost thanked God until you realized the kids had never called you to let you know they were home and the Earth had just decided to fucking shake a few moments ago.

With shaking hands, you snatched your phone off the floor and panicked when you realized there was no service. This was common after earthquakes but not at all good in your predicament. You left your stuff, and more than likely, your front door unlocked and ran upstairs just to see the kids coming out of the elevator.

"You're alright!" You were practically going to hug them until Ellie took all three of them into a tight embrace. Her black flower tattoo displayed beautifully on her arm as she pulled Danny closer.

Before you could back up, she used her left hand to give you a gesture indicating you to come over and join the hug. She didn't have to ask twice because you were over there in an instant. Her arm wrapped around you, and she pulled you tighter into the hug with the kids.

As the kids headed back into the apartment, they were complaining about the dropped pizza and you were going to go in too until Ellie stopped you. She gave her sister a look, telling her to go inside and give the both of you a minute alone.

"Listen I-"

"Wait. Let me speak."

She interrupted you by putting her finger in the air.

"You need to get some sleep. You look tired as hell. Get some sleep, and I'll call you later, or I'll go down to see you, and then we can have this conversation. Sounds good?"

You were too stunned to speak, so she put both of her hands around the sides of your head and made you nod 'yes' to her question.

"Now go get some rest." The way she leaned in was so close that your lips were almost touching. She was quite taller than you, so if you wanted to let your lips meet hers, you'd have to stand on your tippy toes to compete with her god-given model height.

With that, you went back downstairs feeling like you were on cloud nine without even having to get a kiss. Just the implication was enough for you. It was almost pathetic. You could bet you even had a bit of a skip in your walk as you returned back to your apartment. Once you got in, you took a hot shower and changed into some fresh pajamas. You were going to watch a movie, but there was still no service or cable connection.

You grabbed a couple of your textbooks and dropped them on the bed with a sigh. Ellie told you to get some rest, but you were far too excited to sleep. She told you she'd either call you or come see you after the kids were asleep and that had your all nerves on high alert. For her to think you'd go to sleep after hearing something like that was comical.

After a while you had your phone sitting on your desk far away from you so you could get some work done without having to check to see if you had service or see the time to see if there was still a chance of Ellie coming.

You had no indication of how time was passing unless you wanted to measure your growing anxiety and fatigue. It was getting to the point that it was becoming difficult just to keep your eyes open. They felt heavy, and if you didn't focus hard enough, you were sure you were going to fall asleep right there.

A gentle knock at the door startled you momentarily. That wasn't Ellie's usual knock, so you disregarded it to probably a tenant knocking at the wrong door.

The knock came again, albeit much more forceful this time.

"Ellie?" Your question sounded much more excited than you intended to out loud, and you were hoping she wouldn't think youb being too giddy about this whole thing was obnoxious. You got closer to the door and tried to look through the peephole. Someone's hand was clearly in front of it. There was nothing but darkness in what should have been a well lit hallway.

"I'm sorry I left you waiting, I had to do some laundry, and the kids wouldn't go to bed." Her voice sounded relatively normal, but something was clearly off.

"Are the lights out cause I can't see out of the peephole?" You had to pause for a minute and realize what you've just said. There was no reason to feel like you needed to see out of the peephole to let Ellie in. You two have known each other for months, and you trusted her. All that and yet your gut was still telling you that you needed to see who you were unlocking the door for.

"No, the lights are fine. And isn't it too late to start playing peekaboo?"

Her last remark sounded rather sarcastic, and you began to feel bad about making her wait. Carefully, you undid the door lock and the dead bolt and allowed the door to swing open. You felt too embarrassed about the whole situation and what happened earlier to even look at her when she came in.

She closed the door behind herself, and you plopped down on the couch. You moved your textbooks off the other side of the couch and stared at the black TV screen.

"So, uh- about earlier, I'm really trying not to get involved more than I already am, but -"

You were cut off when you started to smell something odd in the room. You sniffed the air more intently for a moment. Something just didn't smell right. The air smelled rotten if that was even how you'd even describe it. There was also something lingering with it, possibly sulfur. You finally turned around to look at her. She was staring dead in your face, as well as being much closer than you expected her to be.

You quickly got off the couch and your jaw practically dropped. You backed up from the sight in front of you and knocked a glass vase off the living room table. Shards of glass sprinkled themselves across the floor at your feet upon impact. You wanted to scream, but no noise would leave your mouth.

What stood in front of you was not Ellie. It was just wearing her as a costume for the time being... She was soaked in water, and her hair was practically still dripping onto the floor as if she had just taken a shower in all her clothes. Dark red splatters coagulated against her skin. It looked clumpy and uneven in some areas, meaning it was possibly a mixture of blood and scattered pieces of flesh.

Her face appeared gaunt and hollow, and those once beautiful eyes of hers were sunken and looked somewhat swollen. Her face stayed in the same expression you saw while you were sitting on the couch. She had the widest smile you've ever seen her with. It looked utterly unnatural, and like her skin was pulled in that direction.

"What were you saying again?" When she held out her hand to gesture for you to continue talking, you could see that it was visibly coated in blood.

She had a set of uneven black long claws on her fingers. Her nails were nothing like that when you saw her earlier. They looked like they belonged to some kind of feral animal, and they looked abhorrently dangerous.

"Ellie what happened to you-"

"-Finissssh what you were saying."

Her voice was abnormally deep and distorted, just hearing it made you feel like you should have dragged your own nails through your face until you felt bone. Tears began to fall from your eyes, and that only made her smile even wider.

"I was saying t-that, I don't want to get too involved in your life and with your kids." Her fingers indicated for you to go on, and you did.

"It's just- I like you, I always have."

Your hands went to your face to wipe off the assault of tears that were hurdling down. Ellie's smile dropped, and her facial expression fell flat. Her eyes were completely unreadable. It was almost like she was dead. She was silent for a moment, staring at you in an unnatural and unnerving way.

"That's so sweet of you to say… I'll pass the message down to Ellie and her fatherless children in hell."

You could feel your back press up against the wall as you wanted to do nothing more to put distance in between you and whatever this thing was. It seemed like the more you moved away from Ellie, the closer she would get to you, as if you two were moving in sync.

"What the fuck are you?!" That felt like a stupid question to ask as you weren't even sure if you wanted the answer. You could see a box cutter sitting on the window sill to your left, and you slowly moved in the direction while making sure to keep eye contact with this intruder.

"Where are the kids?" Your voice cracked up with a whine as it felt like your heart was sinking. Ellie, not answering either of the questions, caused you to sob and clench your chest. It just stood there and stared at you, as if this was funny to it. Once you were finally in front of the window, you gripped the box cutter tightly and held it behind your back.

The closer she moved toward you, the more of her you could see. Just looking at the open wounds and gashes on her made your stomach clench in disgust. There was a severed finger hanging on what appeared to be a tendon attached to her foot. The finger was small…

"Don't come any closer!" You held up the box cutter and ejected the blade. Ellie was unphased by your threat as she stepped slowly onto the shards of glass from the shattered vase. Her smile remained unwavering as the glass crunched under weight, and the soles of her feet began to bleed.

Her clawed bloody hand snatched up yours in what felt like the pins and needles against your skin from how tight of a grip she had. The grip made your hand squeeze painfully around the silver box cutter. The screams you let out were so loud as you hoped you woke up someone, anyone to come help you.

Involuntarily, your hand holding the box cutter began to move toward her face. All you could do was wince and look away as she made you carve into the delicate flesh of her forehead. The sounds of skin ripping under the blade felt like listening to nails on a chalkboard. You looked up at her and saw she had used your hand to carve a giant thick pentagram into her face.

The cackle she let out was so distorted and broken up that it sounded like she was choking. Her clawed hand wrapped around your neck, making you drop the box cutter, and she lifted you up and pinned you against the window. You shut your eyes tightly and tried to force yourself to believe you were sleeping and that this was all one long bad nightmare.

An impossibly long tongue slipped out of her mouth, and it grazed against the side of your face. Her licking you was only the dreaded reaffirmation you needed to know that this was in the real world and not your imagination.

"You think I can't smell that?" The expression of confusion was evident on your face while she held you up even higher.

Ellie took a long, deep inhale of the air before she exhaled. She did it again before her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Droplets of blood from freshly carved pentagram in her face leaked into her corneas and made it appear like she was crying blood. You had no idea what she was smelling in the air other than the putrid, metallic smell of the trail of blood she brought into your home.

"You reek of sin." She used her free hand to drag her claw up your leg and before stopping at your inner thigh. The burning sting of your skin being sliced made your knee jerk into her stomach, and she promptly responded by banging your head against the wall.

She resumed what she was doing prior to assaulting you, and you tried your hardest to stay still.

One of her bloody clawed fingers slipped into your pajama shorts, and you couldn't stop yourself from squeezing your legs shut.

"Uh-uh." She shook her finger at you in response, and her smile only deepened until you could see the internal pink muscles of her cheeks.

"You shut your legs now as if you weren't about to spread them for this whore." It would be fraudulent denial to act like you weren't the slightest bit aroused when you heard Ellie at the door, you thought you'd be getting laid not having to be battered around by this blood soaked pretender.

"You're not Ellie!"

"Does it matter?" The tone of her voice switched to its normal sound and depth as if this thing was trying to manipulate you. You were going to protest further until her hand creeped deeper into your shorts while you had your guard down, making you yelp. Her fingers ghosted over the folds of your cunt as you struggled desperately to get away.

"I slit the groupie's unborn bastard baby from the womb of her corpse, and I'll rip yours open next."

Within an instant you stopped moving and remained entirely limp under her grasp.

"See, now you're being good. Remember, only good girls get rewarded."

Your jaw dropped when she said that, as you would frequently tell the youngest child Kassie to prevent her from getting into physical altercations with her siblings with the promise of her favorite candy.

"I don't have any candy, but I may just let you walk away alive to tell their story." Ellie's sing-songy voice made you feel like that statement was a complete lie.

You responded in silence, and that made her giggle. It was Ellie's giggle, but the person holding you against the wall wasn't Ellie. They may have looked and sounded like her, but there was no indication of life behind those glassy eyes.

Slowly, she loosened her grip around you, and you began to slide down the window. You butt hit the window sill, and your back pressed back against the glass panes only to hear the wooden frame creak. This was an old and cheap apartment building, and you both knew that there was no way the window would support your weight being pressed against it.

"Imagine falling from this height." You didn't have to imagine it because your brain had already pictured the hundred different scenarios that could lead to you falling to your death. Her comment sounded more like she was curious about seeing you splatter and turn into a red stain on the pavement of the alleyway rather than a threat.

You were snapped back to reality when your shorts and underwear were yanked down your legs. Ellie sank down onto her knees, and both of your legs were pulled up around her shoulders. There was literally nothing you could do to get yourself out of this. There was no way you could save yourself because it's not like you even knew what this damned thing really was.

Her unnaturally long tongue creeped out of her mouth, and it slowly started lapping at your wet heat. This thing, it was teasing you. You were dripping wet, and it was going to tease you. It banged your head against the wall, crushed your hand, sliced open your thigh with one of its claws, and it was going to sit here and tease you… All while masquerading around in Ellie's body.

You bit your lip to keep a whimper from escaping your mouth and let your head hit back against the window panel. The window frame gave you another warning creak, and you just about sobbed. Ellie paid your crisis no mind as she used her tongue to rub wet circles around your clitoris.

Her tongue appeared incredibly darkened in color to the point it looked black, and the saliva dangling around it was abnormally thick. It was almost like a slime. It had been a while since you'd touched yourself, so your body felt far too sensitive for its own good. This senseless pleasure, unfortunately, did not distract your mind from how you would meet your impending death.

This thing in Ellie's body was just aching to kill you, and you doubted that letting it touch you like this would change its mind. For something so dangerous, she was using her tongue against you rather softly. The lewd noises that your body made in response to her generous licking held a veil of shame over your face. You've just never felt so conflicted like this.

When the tips of her black claws pierced your thighs, it was almost like she was reminding you not to get too comfortable. Your head practically slammed itself against the window when she thrusted her unusual tongue into your pleading hole. Several gasps left your lips as her tongue explored you internally and teased the insides of your walls, making your nails dig into the wooden window sill.

The window gave you another warning creak, and this one was far louder than the others. One of her hands left from around your thighs and relocated to between your legs and resumed the same movements her tongue did around your clitoris just this time, it felt much more aggressive. Her thumb applied pressure around your sensitive bundle of nerves while her tongue danced along the flesh of the insides of your walls.

That dead expression in her eyes never changed throughout any of this, those soulless blue orbs stared at you so intensely that you were worried at any moment she'd change her mind about sparing your life. The pace of her thumb quickened, and that familiar knot began to form in your lower stomach, indicating that you were getting close to climaxing.

Slowly but steadily, you were tetering at the brim of being on the edge of orgasming. Just when you could feel your cunt start to clench up, her tongue poked and prodded at your g-spot and as a response the muscles of your pelvis tightened up and you came brutally with a rocking of your hips. You could feel the gush of your release start to drip down over your puckered hole.

Without a warning, she completely stopped everything she was doing and removed her tongue from your slick heat.

"What did I do -"

A clawed hand tangled itself into your hair, and you weren't allowed to resist when she forced both of your mouths to connect. The pressure of the added weight against the window caused the glass panes to crack. That darkened black tongue slipped into your mouth and forced itself down your throat. It felt like she was trying to suffocate you to death with it. The taste of blood and the juices of your release overwhelmed the senses of your tastebuds.

The taste was intoxicating, and the lack of oxygen was making you feel lightheaded. After that, even your jaw was beginning to hurt. She yanked her tongue out of your mouth abruptly, and you watched the long appendage slowly slide back into her mouth. Those empty eyes stared at you for a moment without saying anything. You feared for the worse and tightly shut your eyes, praying that maybe the window would collapse before this thing could do whatever it had planned for you.

"I think I'll keep you."

[watercolorofthemoon]

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

[olivernothere]

NAME: Oliver Castellioa Solace-Di Angelo

ALIAS: Ollie, Ol, Olive Tree (sigh), Olive (ONLY Iggy)

AGE: 16 years old, 6th of January

WEAPON(S): A dagger made out of celestial bronze, 20 centimeters

POWER(S): He can enter peoples dreams, and watch what’s happening from afar. He can also change their dreams to however he’d like, this tends to drain him very much though.

PERSONALITY: He’s a bit rude and cold, sometimes shy, in the start, but if you get to know him, he’ll warm up. Once you know him, he’ll be the most caring person, he’s a bit loud sometimes, he’s a little overprotective of his family, even though hems the youngest, he ignores rude comments and such in public, he doesn’t know how to say no, so you never really know if he wants something or not. He’s REALLY scared of adults (sometimes even Will and Nico), and WILL call them sir, miss, ma’am, etc., he can and will sometimes isolate himself from everyone if he’s having one of his “episodes”.

FATAL FLAW: Thinking that he’ll never be good enough for anyone and it’s why his mother disowned him

HOBBIES: I like to paint, mostly landscapes and such, sometimes I write poems I guess? Oh and I love to spend time with my cat, is that considered a hobby?

FAMILY: Nico Di Angelo (Papa), William Andrew Solace (Dad), Daphne Naria Solace-Di Angelo (Sister), Hades (Grandfather), Maria Di Angelo (Grandmother), Apollo (Grandfather), Naromi Solace (Grandmother), Morpheus (Father A stranger to me.), Allison Castellioa (Mother Who is this?)

People I know (!!):

FAMILY:

@ghost-king-and-thebones - Nico Di Angelo, my wonderful papa!! <3

@daffy-not-a-duck - Daphne Naria Solace-Di Angelo, my lovely sister!! (STAY AWAY FROM EPHIE)

@doctor-sunshine-andcarebears - William Andrew Solace, my awesome dad!!!

@drea-and-nico - Andrea and Nicolas Lilith, Children of Hades, my aunt and uncle, but Drea is like a sister to me

@iggy-mini-miny-moe - Ignis Grace, a child of Jason Grace and Leo Valdez, my boyfriend fjbfjgbekd<33, DON'T let him near bleach

FRIENDS:

@chasing-that-jackson - Charlotte Sally Chase-Jackson, a child of Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase, please stop dying

@ineedtoescapefromreality - Echo and Rosalyn Mclean, children of Piper Mclean and Shel

@hey-guys-its-sam - Samantha Zhang, a child of Frank Zhang and Hazel Levesque

@violent-cinnamonroll - Aria Nicole La Rue, a child of Clarisse La Rue and Silena Baeuregard

@notwillingtobefound - William Valdez, a child of Jason Grace and Leo Valdez, Iggy’s brother

@not-a-panda - Pandora Stoll, a child if Travis Stoll amd Katie Gardner, she has a cute cat!!

@morningstar-of-the-night - Kallisto Danica Arrelano-Grace, a child of Reyna Ramirez-Arellano and Thalia Grace

@daredevil-larue - Lucine La Rue, a child of Clarisse La Rue and Silena Beauregard

@overwhelmingly-his-son - Lukas Castellan, a grandchild of May Castellan, he's cool

@the-poison-and-the-sky - Belladonna Chase-Jackson, a child of Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase-Jackson, from another Universe

@praetor-ambrose-asher - Ambrose Asher, a legacy of Primordial Khaos

ADULTS I KNOW:

@leo-repairguy-valdez - Leo Valdez, father to Iggs and William, married (?) to Jason Grace

@percy-jackson-xxx - Perseus Jackson, father to Charlie and Cassie, married to Annabeth Chase

@sincerely-anniejackson - Annabeth Chase-Jackson, mother to Charlie and Cassie, married to Perseus Jackson

ACC IS RAN BY: @moonssong

Tags:

#Oliver arrived - In character Oliver

#Oliver died - ooc

#Ephie supremacy - About his cat

#Oliver rants - something random ic Oliver

#Sister tag☀️ - When he interacts with his sister

#Death and fire - Oliver and Iggy (They’re shipped)

[umbrellalavender]

Umbrella Academy: Young Blood and Season 4 Spoilers:

Young Blood took place days before Ben’s death and probably played a part in how he died.

The best thing that season 4 gave to us was answers surrounding Ben’s death. We know that he died on the 14th October 2006, which was 13 days after their 17th birthday.

The children were probably 17 years old in Young Blood given the line ‘“I haven’t worked with you for the past seventeen years to end up with a house full of normal children.”’ Said by Reginald. (Reggie might be round up I guess but I choose to ignore that ngl)

(Also, saying that he’s been working with them for 17 years means that he has been training them since they were literal babies)

This means that the book should take place within a 12 day window. Considering that I don’t remember them talking about their birthdays at all, I’m going to assume that it took place on the later end of those days.

Another line that I think relates to Ben dying is:

‘Tonight, Ben decided he’s never going to use his tentacles to kill another person. From now on, when he’s given an order on a mission, he’s not going to rush to please Dad and his timekeeping. Ben’s going to allow himself to hesitate. He’ll choose to save lives—even if it takes a little bit longer, even if it’s a little bit riskier. And there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him.’

Isn’t this what Ben did the day he died? He went out of his way to save a life and not to please his father. In the show, he has this conversation with Luther:

“There’s someone in here. We have to get her out.”

“That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“So what? You’re gonna blow up an innocent girl?”

“But dad said…”

“I don’t give a fuck what dad said! We need to help her.”

What Ben saw at the frat party with all those uni students and Ryan (especially Ryan) made him think more carefully about what he was doing when he followed Reggie’s orders. Choosing to save Jennifer ultimately led to his father shooting him dead.

Also, if Young Blood took place around Ben’s death, it might have got caught up with Reggie’s mind control thingy, and made them forget that there were other super-powered babies.

I know I’m probably thinking about this way too much, but Ben’s my favourite character. This book is literally the most time he gets to spend with his siblings, and I just need it to be canon!

Another line that gets me about Ben is:

‘There’s not a doubt in Ben’s mind that, if something were to happen to him, his siblings would show up at his funeral. He can picture Allison crying, while Diego tries to hide his tears. Luther would give the eulogy. Viktor would put flowers on his grave every week. Klaus would stay high and avoid contacting him. Ben smiles as he thinks of himself haunting Klaus every time he catches him sober. Ben catches sight of his leather jacket among the rubble; he digs it out and puts it back on, now so covered in dust that it looks gray instead of black.’

What the Umbrella Academy did was so dangerous that Ben thought about his own funeral? I don’t know if this is a common thought people have because I sure don’t. And he thought about all of his siblings (minus Five) being there. This suggests to me that he could imagine himself going first. I also like the little nod at the end to his ghost outfit.

[neonbrutalism]

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Ship Comics!MattFoggy (Part 1)

Hello My MattFoggy Friends.

Are you sad about Daredevil: Born Again more than likely not including Foggy? Do you agree that he is so crucial to Daredevil and also he and Matt are married?

Then let me introduce you to ... the Daredevil comic! Because if you thought Matt and Foggy were married in the show, wait until you read the comic.

One thing I hear a lot is that there's almost 60 years of Daredevil comics, way too much complicated history and detail and you can't be expected to read all that. And to that I say... correct. And you're not expected to. I myself have not read all of volume 1 nor parts of volume 2, 5 or almost any of 6/7.

You just gotta pick what seems interesting. I like the Waid Run! I started there and have picked and chosen other runs. Nobody actually expects you know the complete history of the characters. It doesn't matter! Did Matt dad die before or after he met Foggy? Did they go to Columbia or Harvard? How old are they? How long did Matt and Elektra date?

The answer: who cares? Not even the comic writers can keep that straight. Just go with what you want to happen! Nobody is going to call you out. If you want dead characters alive, go for it! If you want to import characters from the MCU into your fic, please feel free! It's a 60 year soap opera. Do want you want. If you really want to know, just read a wiki summary.

If anyone gets weird or salty in your comments … that person is making some very weird choices. Do not engage. Good God, it's a fanfic. Do whatever you want. Just reply "lol, yikes" and move on. I am 35 years old and I am giving you grown-up with a job in an office adult permission to do that!

The major differences between the comic and the show are:

Matt is a redhead. Matt having red hair is pretty much the only difference that remains constant. Everything else is different and changeable writer-to-writer. Except early in Volume 5, when he was drawn to look like Charlie Cox and the miniseries between 5 and 6 where in some issues, everyone was copied from the Netflix show and it was weird.

Anyway:

Foggy's hair is usually short but he has 1990s anime girl bangs like Sailor Moon. If you like long-hair Foggy, sure, he can grow it out! He's sometimes blonde.

In earlier runs, Matt is sometimes shown to have been blinded as a teenager, 14 to 16. In more recent runs, he was a child like he was in the show.

Jack Murdock died when Matt was either in college or in law school, either before or after he met Foggy. It changes depending on the writer. He's also been written as dying only a few years after Matt was blinded.

Matt doesn't just have enhanced senses... He has an entirely new, unique sense, radar sense, that functions separately from his other senses. I don't know how. So, if he loses his hearing, he can still understand the world around him.

Stick trained Matt and once, pushed him off a building but didn't abandon Matt until he was in college. Comics Matt doesn't quite have the abandonment issues Netflix Matt has. He has a whole lot of other ones.

Matt wasn't crushed by Midland Circle. But he DID basically die in the storyline Born Again and have to be nursed back to health by Maggie.

Matt's not actually very religious in the comic. He was raised Catholic and he gets more religious when he's especially distressed (and due to inspiration from the show) but for the most part, he is not a very devout Catholic. However, in volume 6 and volume 7, he is (but it's kind of a weird ninja cult way idk i'm trying not to editorialize in this)

Foggy's class. In the show, he is from a lower-middle class family that loves him and Matt. In the comics, Foggy's family is very wealthy and they are pretty disappointed in Foggy. His birth mother, Rosalind Sharpe, is a huge asshole and hates her son and Matt both, but has tried to use them in the past for her own gain.

They're both huge nerds. Foggy's supposedly "cool" in the show but he is not, I assure you, in the comics. Comics!Foggy almost certainly cannot recognize a Taylor Swift song. Comics!Matt likes experimental jazz. I want to give them both swirlies.

What if you want to write comics-verse with Butcher Shop Foggy and Religious Matt? Then do it! It's fine! It's a big multiverse!

I just want my MattFoggy friends to have content.

Now on the downside, as this comic's been going on for a while, Matt (and other characters) are kind of assholes to Foggy about his weight. I ignore that bit. As with all comics, you have to ignore some shitty stuff sometimes because it all varies writer-to-writer.

Anyway, you came here for some MattFoggy Married Evidence, right?

Okay, here we go, presented with the help of my friend @froggynelson and all my chums on Discord and the Avacados in Love server...

In no particular order, a small selection of Matt and Foggy being in love.

One time, Matt got possessed by a demon and Foggy free-climbed a castle to rescue him. He is the only person able to get through to Matt to help save him. Shadowlands is otherwise, unfortunately, bad.

Something else from Volume 1 is that Matt was supposed to be the better lawyer of the two of them. Of course, since then, everyone's agreed Foggy is the better lawyer. But really, they're better together than either of them are apart. (This is the bit that made me think "oh they're GAY gay")

In volume 3 and 4, Foggy had cancer. Matt gave up his (already compromised) secret identity and moved to California in order to help him.

It was extremely sad!!

They had to fake Foggy's death!

He got better :)

Now Tumblr's post editor is chugging at this point, so please join me in part 2 - The Quest for More MattFoggy.

[roses-r-rosie3]

Blame It On Me

Ethan Landry x M!Reader

Spoilers for scream 6!!!!!

Warnings: angst, violence, character death, and swearing

Summary: This is basically and alternate needing to my other story Doing It For Love

“Not you guys” said Sam. “What?” said Danny in confusion. “Don’t trust anyone remember? We don’t know you guys, not really” said Sam. “You know me” said Danny. “You guys aren’t woodsborrow, I’m sorry” said Sam. “It’s okay we get it” said y/n. “Stay safe okay?” said Danny. “You too” said Sam.

After Sam, Tara, Chad, and Kirby left, y/n and Danny headed towards the police station in case if something went wrong.

“I’m going to go back” said y/n. “No you’re not” said Danny as he held his brother back. “Danny, you don’t need to be so protective I’ll be fine” said y/n. “I can’t just let you get hurt in there y/n, so keep walking, we’re almost there” said Danny. “Just let me go, I need to help them, Ethan is probably in there with them!” Said y/n. “And what if Ethan’s the killer?” Said Danny. “I know Ethan, he wouldn’t even hurt a fly” said y/n. “Y/n, everyone is a suspect, you can’t trust anyone” said Danny. “For fucks sake Danny! Just let me go! I’ll be okay! Okay?” Said Y/n trying to reassure his older brothers. “Fine” Danny grunted. Y/n gave his brother one last hug before he ran off to the theater.

Y/n finally found a way inside the theater as he heard gunshots. He made it to see Quinn unmask herself. But he also saw two other people, Detective Bailey and Ethan. Y/n was in shock, he didn’t know what to say. When he finally snapped out of his trance detective Bailey already noticed him. “Well, well, well, look who decided to join the party?” Laughed Bailey.

Ethan turned to see y/n who had tears in his eyes. Suddenly Ethan saw Quinn walked up to y/n and held a knife to his throat. “Let y/n go!” Said Tara. “We’ll teach him a lesson never to be nosy” said Bailey. “Wait! Dad, do you really think this is necessary? We just want to kill Tara and Sam” said Ethan. “Don’t tell me you actually caught feelings for the little bitch!” Said Bailey. “You know what, you can kill him” said Bailey as Quinn pushed y/n to Ethan.

“Ethan please don’t” cried y/n. Ethan stared at y/n with tears in his eyes. “Oh shut up y/n! You wouldn’t even let Ethan have sex with you, you’re such a fucking tease!” Yelled Quinn. “Go ahead and kill him!” Barked Bailey. “I’m sorry y/n” whispered Ethan as he lodged his knife into y/n’s gut. Y/n started to scream in pain as the sharp object stabbed him.

Ethan pulled out the knife as y/n collapsed on the floor. “Are you fucking kidding me! He’s still breathing!” Yelled Bailey. Bailey pointed his gun at y/n, but before he shot y/n Ethan shoved him out of the way. “Ethan what the fuck!” Yelled Quinn. That distraction gave Tara the chance to hit Quinn with a brick.

Skip to them defeating Bailey and Quinn

“Y/n!” Yelled Ethan as he ran towards y/n who was bleeding out. “I’m so sorry” sobbed Ethan who was trying to stop y/n from bleeding out. Y/n gave him a weak smile before he started to slowly shut his eyes. ��No! Y/n please! Stay with me!” Cried Ethan.

All of a sudden the cops/paramedics and Danny rushed in. Danny saw Ethan in a ghostface costume and y/n bleeding out on the floor. Danny rushed towards his dying brother as he pushed Ethan away from y/n. “What the fuck did you do!” Screamed Danny. “Y/n! Y/n please! Wake up!” Sobbed Danny.

The paramedics took Danny away from y/n’s body as they tried to check for a pulse. Danny and Ethan waited impatiently waiting for them. “There’s no pulse!” Said the paramedics. Both Danny and Ethan’s heart dropped. “You fucking bitch! This is all your fault! My brother fucking died because of you!” Yelled Danny as he shoved Ethan. Sam and Tara tried pulling Danny away from Ethan. Ethan felt like his whole world was taken from him, he was the reason why y/n died.

Ethan watched as y/n was put in a body bag and carried away. Ethan walked outside and walked up to Danny. “I’m sorry, I loved y/n” said Ethan. “Step the fuck away from me” said Danny in anger. “You killed my fucking brother, you’re a murderer” said Danny. Ethan felt nothing but regret. He killed the love of his life.

A/n: There hasn’t been any Ethan Landry x M!Reader fanfics lately, btw I’m still working on ur requests!