#also ben is here. and ben being all-knowing and completely blunt will always be there to expose cogs

[strawglicks]

flint tries to impress cosmo and ben ruins it

[itsmemateinnit]

Whitechapel series 4 press pack

Ben Bishop plays DC Finley Mansell

How do you like the new format?

I think everyone involved agrees that the last series really came into its own. To me Whitechapel isn’t just about physical gore or body parts, it’s a psychological game, and I think if you can play a game with the viewers then that’s what Whitechapel is all about. What I think is great about having three stories is that sometimes with a traditional three parter there tends to be a dip down in the middle. Here the audience is caught in, released, caught in and then released again.

Can you tell us a bit about what happens to Mansell this series?

Mansell starts to receive a lot of sinister prank calls, but we don’t know whether they’re genuine calls or something going on with his state of mind. Everyone has something going on in the series, and that’s what Mansell deals with. He also falls for Kent’s sister, who we meet in the first episode. It’s the first time Mansell has ever fallen properly for someone and been in love and in a serious relationship. She’s the one I think.

What is Mansell’s relationship like with Kent?

Kent and Mansell are chalk and cheese. Mansell is a bit more blunt, a spade is a spade with Mansell. I think he has a softer spot for Kent than we probably realise though. Kent is fiercely but quietly ambitious. I don’t think Mansell is afraid to cry, and that’s the great thing about him. I think if Mansell felt he’d really upset somebody he would be mortified and wouldn’t blame anybody but himself.

Is there a divide between characters this series?

I think Mansell clicks with Miles and Kent clicks with Chandler, and there is a bit of a ‘bromance’ going on between those two couples. That’s why I think it’s fantastic that Riley was written in. It works to have that team broken by a female, and a strong female with a stable family life. I think we’re a complete and balanced team now, Riley adds a lot of warmth to it.

Mansell is quite a comedic character, is that something that comes naturally to you?

I was always the school clown when I grew up so yeah it did. I was always interested in telling stories rather than what was being taught.

How has Mansell developed over the series?

I would say Mansell is the most emotional of all the characters, and I think that’s true of anyone who tries to hide behind gags or tries to be funny all the time. Mansell has a very strong emotional storyline in this series. I think he feels he’s discovered something real in his life for the first time. It’s a really strong storyline for him and it’s great to play.

Are there similarities between you and Mansell?

I like to think of Mansell as his own character but people always love to remind me how much of him is me! There are differences, clearly, in that I’m happily married! Mansell is a lot more of a Londoner than I am I think.

How has it been having Steve write an episode this series?

Ben and Caroline are fantastic and they’re great at writing the thrilling and psychological elements of the show. What’s been great about having Steve write one of the stories is that he knows us so well, so when he writes the character driven

scenes he is able to bring out the quirks, and really bring things to life. So it will be interesting to see how that comes across.

Are you working with new directors this series?

Yes both of the directors on this new series are perfect. They’re both really interested in making the stories character driven. I think when you’re playing cops people want to be able to relate to them, and they want them to do normal day-to-day things. The fact that we don’t solve these crimes is great because coppers do get it wrong sometimes. A lot of cases are solved by witnesses coming forward or a bit of luck and I like that that’s something Whitechapel does.

Tell us about Hornsey Town Hall and the other spooky locations?

Working at Hornsey is great, physically it’s quite cold and dark and probably haunted so that works well! A lot of the locations we film in are pretty much as they’ve been left, so if they look damp and cold – they are!

Did you know a lot about the East End before you started filming?

I didn’t know much about Whitechapel and London when I started, nor do I confess to know a huge amount about London now! I’m from Bournemouth originally. I worked on a market stall and I started in Bournemouth and then moved to Brixton doing that, so I’m a South London boy now.

How did you get into acting?

I started in advertisements. I was the face of Coca-Cola for Europe and I used to do loads and loads of adverts. It was a financial thing, but one day I just decided I didn’t want to do it anymore, I knocked it on the head and then did four years of theatre. After that I worked for Warner Brothers doing voice over animations for a long time.

What was your Whitechapel audition like?

When I auditioned I thought it was all about the character I was bringing forward, but I had about six meetings for Whitechapel and I realise now that they were sussing out whether I would fit in with the rest of the cast. You’re going to be spending so much time with a group of people that it’s about connecting as much as whether someone is right for the role.

Tell us about the camaraderie on set?

There is a great camaraderie. We have a lot of banter and it’s a lot of fun but we do take it very seriously at the same time. Phil and Rupert are very methodical and we always feel we can have an input - not necessarily creating the stories but making things the best that they can be.

[kisstheassassins]

Hi there😊May I request a HC with Connor and SO who is an assassin in The Tyranny of King, but in this SO doesn't remember him when he finds her in the same prison as Kanen'tó:kon hanging by her wrists being tortured by a bluecoat(similar to what happened to Leliana in DA Inquisition). Also she would the same person he originally knew, but cold & kind of emotionless. Not to mention she wouldn't trust him either. Lol sorry that got dark, but thank you for taking the time to read this!

I hope this is to your liking 😊

Also im using (p/n) as your preferred pronouns.

The two men had finally been liberated from the prison they were held in, but Kanen had one last thing to do here before he could finally leave.

There they were at a four-way cross section of the jail, with Kanen looking around at each hallway as if he were trying to remember something.

"What is it?" Ratonhnhaké:ton asked his friend; his hand was pulling on Kanen's arm to make him hurry, but he pulled away.

"We cannot leave yet," the other man says, running down one of the halls. If Connor hadn't trusted his friend he would have gone the other way, but he follows close behind.

They find themselves at a closed door, and behind it a voice can be heard. It's cold and harsh, and upon creaking the door open Kanen realizes its not just one person, but two. You hang by your wrists from the ceiling by chains, feet barely hitting the floor as you gasp for each breath.

"I know that there were more of you," the guard says harshly. He has some sort of blunt weapon in his hand to strike you when he thinks you're either lying, or doesn't like the answer you give him. Your face is bloodied and bruised.

"Beat me all you want," you growl, "I'm not saying a damn thing. You and your false King can rot in hell."

Your voice rang through Ratonhnhaké:tons ears like a cannon firing just beside him. His breath quickens as he and Kanen rush in just before the guard strikes you, startling him.

However, before they can reach him your legs wrap around his neck tightly, using your chains to lift you up and choke the man with your limbs. You apply more pressure with each passing minute, and eventually jerk your hips sideways to result the sound of his neck snapping. His body slumps to the floor, as well as your legs. You're exhausted.

Kanen moves the dead body to the side and searches for the key while Ratonhnhaké:ton looks you over. He's still trying to process that he even found you, let alone in this prison. And the state of you; it made him sick to see you so beaten. He always promised to protect you and to prevent this type of thing.

"Took your bloody time," you say, an exasperated smile gracing your lips. Kanen unlocks the braces one by one, and Ratonhnhaké:ton helps you stand when each hand is free. You can't help but fall to the floor, and he helps you down gently. Kanen kneels on the other side of you.

"I don't particularly enjoy leaving my friends behind," he says. You rub your wrists and wince at the pain; no doubt these bruises would be here a while.

Your eyes meet the other man's, suspicion building up the more he stares. His eyes are soft and his mouth is partially open like he wants to say something.

"Friend of yours?" you ask, looking up at Kanen. He nods.

"More like a brother. This is Ratonhnhaké:ton."

You both lock eyes again, and a sense if warmth and familiarity fill your chest. It confuses you; you know you have never met this man in your life, so why are you so..... fuzzy?

You nod at him in greeting.

"(Y/n)," you say, and even though he knows it, he smiles to you anyway.

Kanen and Ratonhnhaké:ton help you stand up and keep you close to support your legs, as it was somewhat difficult to walk after the beatings you received.

"Go on ahead," Ratonhnhaké:ton says, "I'll help (p/n)."

With just you two now following a ways behind Kanen, Connor has a close grip on you and you can't help but notice how closely he watches you. You don't have to look to know, but you can feel his eyes on you.

You try to break the wall with small talk.

"Thanks for doing this," you say, "uh.... " A laugh escapes you. "Sorry, I don't know how to say your name."

He knew it was coming, but he played a long.

"What would you like to call me then?" he asks softly. Your eyes meet his once again and you chuckle.

"My mentor," you begin, "he had a son. Died when he was only six." A pause. "Is Connor okay?"

The man smiles and nods, fixing his grip on your back. You fall in closer to him as your legs are still weak.

"It's perfect," he chuckles, but you weren't able to feel how his heart ached and yearned for you at that moment. "How about we get out of here, hm?"

-----

Benjamin Franklin had been attending to your wounds on your hands and wrists, while the other two who saved you leaned over a table discussing their next move for the revolution over Washington. You can't help but stare at Connor and wonder why he felt so familiar to you, but you never met the man.

"Something bothering you, (y/n)? " Ben asks. You keep your eyes focused.

"How come I've never met Connor," you say. Your friend looks to where you are looking.

"You mean Ratonhnhaké:ton?"

Your eyes glance to Ben and then back.

"We settled on Connor since I can't pronounce his name," you say.

Ben finishes up wrapping the bandages around the cut on your palm, watching you wince as he tucks the fabric in.

"Well," he begins, "I don't think Kanen'tó:kon expected to find his friend here in the midst of all this. He went to war with Washington even before Ratonhnhaké:ton and his mother did."

You sit up off the table and pulls your sleeves down over your bandages.

"Do you trust him?"

"He's been very helpful so far," he states, "in fact, I believe he's done more for us in the past week than we have in a month. I dont think you have anything to worry about."

----

A brief war table meeting later, and everyone has departed to complete their duty for the day, leaving you to rest and Connor to go over what he had missed over the past few weeks. You find yourself beside him staring at the wall of photos and drawings that you and your colleagues had collected for evidence and tracking. Connor stares up at Washington, eyes malice and eager to find the man.

"You seem to have a personal vendetta with him," you say, more so than we do."

Connor looks to you and then back at the wall, exhaling sharply.

"He has done a lot of harm and damage to my people, as well as the rest of the world. My home was burned, my people enslaved."

He stops a moment to collect himself and take a deep breath, almost preparing himself for what he had to say next.

"He... murdered my mother. My father."

You swallow the lump in your throat; people were lucky enough to survive Washington's wrath, let alone escape it. A majority of those here weren't so lucky.

"I'm sorry," you say softly.

A few moments pass and you can't help but stare at him, that feeling familiarity hitting you dead in the chest again. Your palms are sweaty too, you notice, and you're chewing the inside of your cheek. Connor glances your way and turns his head when he sees you.

"What?" he says. You exhale sharply.

"Are you sure we haven't met before?" He shakes his head. "I feel like I've seen you before and its driving me mad."

Connor shifts in his spot, thinning his lips and staring at you, waiting, as if he wanted to speak. But he doesn't. Instead he watches you get closer.

"I don't normally trust people so easily," you say, "but seeing Kanen being so open and close to you, I feel like I can too. Don't take me the wrong way Connor, but you feel real familiar to me and I don't know why."

He smiles sheepishly, memories if you flooding his mind back in.... his original world. All of this surely had to be a nightmare.

"Perhaps we should work together," he begins, "see where this goes from here."

You smile at him and he does the same for you, making you chuckle. You pat his arm and make way upstairs; he is in close pursuit.

He prayed to his ancestors nothing happened to you after this.

[bowieandqueen11]

I Know / Ben Hargreevees x Reader + Platonic!Klaus

Request: Hello can you do an umbrella academy Klaus X female reader platonic imagine where he tells them that Ben still loves them

This made me really emotional thank you so much for the request my dear @ab1nsur​! <3

Comments are always appreciated!

Also warning, some mentions of drugs/ alcohol!

Ivy had started to grow through the crevices of the winding stone driveway, as you and Klaus wandered out of his car and back home after a long day of still having no way to get home. Five had brainstormed, and rushed off with some idea about the Commission, or himself, or whatever crazy thing his mouth was running at the moment, leaving you and Klaus, as always, alone again. Luther had been dragged off with him, and Vanya and Allison were still living their lives here in the 60s, which just left you, Klaus, and about a hundred questions.

Walking back into Klaus’ mansion after all this time was like walking into a haunted house. Throwing the keys onto the nearest counter, Klaus saunters past you, plodding heavily, as if the events of the past few days, or months, or years, have placed thick weights onto his heels. Stretching his arms up, he groans as he exposes his midriff, shrugging off his long coat to leave him in just his denim shirt.

‘I just can’t believe-’, you start again as you follow him into the living room with a shaking head.

‘No talky, no talky now, my dear Y/n. It’s sleepy time, only sleepy. Unless you have any Vodka, that is.’

‘I left my last flask in your skirt back at home, I’m afraid.’

With a sigh, he turns to frown at you, before kicking of his shoes in your direction.

‘What a shame.’

He pulls one of the last few sheets covering his furniture off from the mantelpiece with a great enough flourish that you, coughing, have to run over and open one of the bay windows leading down to the still pool. Slumping head first onto the sofa, Klaus tries to ignore you again and instead fall into an unceremonious sleep. The lazy Dallas wind pushed through the sprinkling fountain and through the door, misting him with slight water droplets in the way you would blow smoke over his face when you were sharing a blunt as teenagers. He smiles as he nestles his head into the lumpy cushion, trying to focus on this thought as you walk back over and lift his legs up, sliding underneath them. He appreciates the warmth of your hands as they glide over the skin available underneath the sandals, a welcoming warmth he hasn’t felt in a while coating him in the darkness.

‘i just think it’s insane that we could have found all your siblings, absolutely all of them, and yet Ben isn’t here. It just doesn’t sound right. I mean, why can’t a ghost travel the same as us?’

Ben nods from where he stands in the darkness behind you, a crestfallen look on his face as he sees how defeated you look. He wants nothing more than just a minute, just a moment - he will even take a second - of being alive again just so he could go over and comfort you. Take your hand in his like he’s tried so often over the years, and kiss you, gently, softly. Just a moment, to say it’s okay, and to say goodbye.

Instead he unfolds his arms, and goes over to smack Klaus on the arm, making the two of you jump. Placing a leg on the armrest near his head, Klaus turns his head so it’s completely covered by the sofa.

‘You need to tell her man, this isn’t fair.’

‘Nothing in life is fair, Ben.’

‘Klaus, who are you talking to?’

Pushing himself back up, Klaus raises an eyebrow at you before slowly pulling his legs back round the side of the sofa. Rubbing the palms of his hands against his eyes, until his tattoos blend into the darkness, he takes a moment to enjoy the feeling of your hand rubbing slow circles against his shoulder, before he lets himself slip to the floor.

‘Come on, if you’re not going to tell her, you know how you could make it up to me?’

‘Noooo, you can not possess me!’

‘Klaus, what the hell are you on about! Possess you? Oh god, Ben is here, isn’t he! I knew it, you’re such an asshole!’

Punching him in the shoulder, Klaus winces before grabbing onto your fingers and pulling them tight against his chest.

‘Y/n, you were sweet on him when, what, you were thirteen?’

‘That doesn’t give you the right to not tell me! When you love someone that much, wouldn’t you want to know?’

‘Y/n, my dear, sweet Y/n, listen to me. I know okay, I know. I love you like family, closer even, but trust me, chasing after ghosts doesn’t end with a happily ever after!’

Ducking his head, Klaus fell silent for a moment, slowly releasing your hands until he felt you pull away.

Looking at you was just to painful for him. The tear tracks on your flushed cheeks. The ones still threatening to spill as you stared at him, desperately, eyes flickering over his avoiding ones as if trying to pry the words out of his soul. The fingers shaking on your lap. The way your mouth blubbered open and closed as if trying to throw up his name. You reminded him of him after Dave-

Shutting his eyes, he tried to stop his chin from trembling too harshly and giving his feelings away. Fingering his dog tags for a moment, he enjoyed the way they tinkled against his heart like ghosts of fingertips. If he was able to know the person he loved more than anything was still there, after death, wouldn’t you want to know? Wasn’t that his power, his curse? Even if you couldn’t save them, not knowing, he thought, was the worst part.

‘You’re right, you’re right. Okay Ben, what do you want to say?’

‘Th-there’s so much. Just... for now, will you tell her that I love her. So much. More than anything. Also I’m sorry for stealing her skip rope when we were younger and using it to tie Luther and Diego together.’

Chuckling slightly, Klaus nods his head at him before relaying the message to you. Crying softly, you laugh along with him as you bite against your knuckle.

‘He always was one for annoying Luther.’

‘Yeah... he was.’

That breaks you. You shove your hand to your mouth as you begin to sob, your chest heaving as the tears just won’t stop cascading down your face. Eventually, Klaus comes and sits next to you, thigh to thigh, and just pulls your head down onto his shoulder. He knew this feeling all too well, and he knew the only thing to do was to let you go through it, but not alone. Playing with the fringes of your hair, he lets your tears soak his shirt as he pulls you tight against him.

After a moment, you look up at him with bloodshot eyes.

‘Where is he?’

‘What?’

‘Where is he, right now. Where is he in this room?’

‘Over by the side of the sofa.’

Standing up, you make your way and sit where Klaus’ head had been lying earlier. Placing your shaking hand gently down, face up, on the arm rest, you ask Klaus with a crack in your voice,

‘Is this about right?’

‘Yeah, you got him.’

Ben was glad you couldn’t see the way his lip trembled, and the tears that leaked out from the corner of his eyes as he slowly tried to place his hand over yours. Hovering slightly above your fingertips, he tried to brush slowly against them, relying on memories to fill in the rest of the gaps his body couldn’t fill.

‘I missed you, so much’, he whispers, his voice choked and haunted. Yet this time, Ben Hargreeves knew he wasn’t alone.

[dauntingdarling]

In Defense of the Weeping Monk

So during my first ramped scrolling of Weeping Monk content post-completion of the series, I came across a number of people against the Weeping Monk not just for this storyline but because of how people have been quick to obsess over him and ship Nimulot.

In particular, calling the Nimulot ship racist or homophobic, his character a predator, and those shipping him with anyone toxic. While these points are valid and come from a place (I would assume) of good intentions (anti-homophobia, anti-racist, protect the children etc.) they are strong accusations that should not be linked to this character. And here’s why:

Racism:

-I’m going to be blunt here. Seeing as Racism isn’t a joke, it shouldn’t be thrown around as an excuse not to like WM just because said character didn’t end up with a person of color. If you don’t like him, you don’t like him. Don’t blanket cover your reasoning with a serious accusation that even today is still running rampid and needs to be taken seriously in today’s society (see George Floyd)

-It would be one thing to call out a show if they were expressing Racist undertones, but Cursed hasn't. Two of the most powerful characters in King Arthur lore are played by wonderful actors of color (Arthur and sister Morgana) and should this show continue, we will see the pair of them raise in the ranks of power for both good (King Arthur) and evil (Morgan le fay). 

-People are stating that WM should have been black, as we’ve had more than enough white edgy boys out in shows and movies (see Winter Solider, Kylo Ren/Ben solo...) I’m not against the idea of a black or someone other than white actor portraying WM. That’s not my fight. My fight is over disliking Daniel Sharman’s casting because of his race rather than his acting skill. The guy plays WM fantastically and shouldn’t be docked points just because he’s a white British guy. Like... come on. 

-I could go on, but we have more topics to cover so I’ll close this part with this: keep up the good fight to end Racism, but don’t use it to elevate your own ship/actor profile/ etc. 

Throwing around this topic to benefit your own belief (more than just in media) is what makes people degrade racism in the first place. Don’t be that person.

Homophobia: 

-WHY WOULD SHIPPING NIMULOT BE HOMOPHOBIC? WHY

-I would have thought this show already established that they were not homophobic seen by the great response Nimue gave to Morgana after spotting the scene above^. She normalized their relationship as any other and that was beautiful *chef’s kiss* 

-Back to WM, from what I read on the topic from a person with this view, they stated that because people are shipping Nimulot over Nimue and Morgana (I’m sorry I don’t know their ship name), they are homophobic? WHAT

-Dude that’s great that you saw the fantastic chemistry between Morgana and Nimue, but do you really want Nimue to bed both siblings like that? 

-What I just stated isn’t my real fight on the topic, it’s just something I just thought of as I am here typing away. My fight here is just because Nimue hasn't entertained the possibility of a romantic relationship with Morgana doesn’t mean those shipping Nimue and WM together are homophobic. We just are ex-reylo trash (as I’m noticing so far) and love the enemies to lovers trop. 

-Also I am pretty sure that those shipping Nimulot adore the relationship Nimue has with Morgana as they give off major feminism vibes. And have a healthy relationship overall. 

Which brings me to my next point:

Toxic Shipping:

-No one is stating that WM should hook up with Nimue immediately. And if they are, take notes. WM still needs to grow from the horrors he has done in the past and what he has ahead of him. Only then would he be deserving of Nimue (should she take him)

-I honestly believe people are not shipping Nimulot because it’s toxic, but rather because they hope that WM will come around on the other side as a better man (for he has been through the ringer) and should find peace. With Nimue? Sure, if the storyline fits. 

-I’ve read that some don’t want Nimue to be the fixer upper of WM, and I agree, but do not find this statement to be enough to call the Nimue ship toxic by any means. We just want to see everyone happy, is that so bad? 

-And after growing up idolizing the major character arch of Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender, I can’t help but hope (as the optimist that I am) that WM will get a similar ending to Zuko. 

-As for why people want Nimue with him and not, say Gwenevere, it is because of all the similarities they carry so far that complement each other (while also playing the opposites attract card). Similarities include:

cursed out fay (N- the villagers scorning her, WM- the monks attitude toward him as a weapon and not a being)

lingering on the edge of dark and light (N with the cursed sword, WM with his faith)

scars (that happen to be on their backs)

their relationship with Squirrel (both protective, not smothering)

Symbols of their side in war (WM is the monk’s best fighter, N is their queen)

I’m sure people can give you more reasons. This is just what I came up with on the spot after one watch through of the series. If you have others, please write them below, I’m curious. 

Now onto the topic that I find to be atrocious: 

Predator: 

-EXCUSE ME, a predator prays on others. How on God’s green earth is WM that? He was a literal sword for hire/raised to fight against his kind through mental strain from this messed up ideology of christianity. 

-And for those calling his relationship with Squirrel unhealthy... fair point but I’m not done yet. 

-I don’t mean all this to say that what he did under the red monks was good or even acceptable. No it wasn’t, the dude was practicing mass genocide of his own race, that’s fucked up. (That torture scene in front of the mill was really something)

-But as we learn in later episodes, all of his actions linger on not being damed and going to heaven (I assume) as seen in the scene when we got a nice look of him shirtless while he was having a moral crisis.

-Speaking of moral crisis, did you notice that he had one when the rest of the villains present in this show do not? Even Iris (a fantastic villain) had a tragic backstory with her family like WM, but rather than question her motives, she starts on the villain path. 

-Now while I do admit he doesn’t treat Squirrel right in the beginning, it makes sense for his character and where he is at. Not to say that hurting a child and using him as a pawn to kill leftover tribe members is justified. 

-But the writers always wrote the interactions between Squirrel and WM with a hint of humor. Squirrel was always talking back, calling WM and his horse ugly, and even hissing out “you” in front of the red monks. All this going on while WM maintains a blank expression, that to viewers is almost comical (because it breaks away from the sad emo boy cliche) 

-In the end, WM needed someone like Squirrel to get out of the disastrous rut the red monks had WM in. For WM to start on this journey of his (that I’m sure will continue through season 2) he needed to show he had a moral code. 

-Also, like many complicated characters, WM never thought through the damage he has done and how his work impacted children up until G called him out for it. For this reason, I think G had just as much a part of getting WM to revolt as Squirrel did. 

- I think his relationship with Squirrel will continue to grow into a more protective association now that G is dead. G made Squirrel into a knight, the next step is for this kid to train like one. Who better than Mr. Lancelot himself. (They better have a training scene in next season or I will riot)

-And lastly, all of you who know the lore of Lancelot understand that he will become the best of the best and also the most loyal and chivalrous knight out there. What a better way to love a character with these attributes than if he started in the proverbial gutter and grows to understand and value these characteristics?  It’s the shiny ending that he needs to work hard to achieve and that is what, at the end of the day, all lovers of WM want to see in the next few seasons. 

Him becoming that knight in shining armor.

[minimitchell]

callumhighwayweek day 1 - “I still think about him.” (ao3 link)

(tw scars, callum talks about how he got injured in the army)

.

The room surrounding Callum is dark; the only source of light coming from the beam of a street lamp outside, shining through a crack in the curtains. He’ll have to get up and draw them close before even attempting to go to sleep - he needs the room to be completely plunged in darkness to fall asleep - but for now he’s content with just lying here like this, the bright light creating a bright streak across the bed.

It’s chilly in the room; the October weather harsh and unrelenting, cooling the flat down to low temperatures. It doesn’t help that the covers are pooling somewhere around his waist, his naked chest otherwise exposed to the cold inside the bedroom.

Ben is dozing next to him, head half resting on the pillow half on Callum’s shoulder, one arm slung heavy across Callum’s chest. He isn’t asleep yet, Callum can tell from the way he keeps grumbling and burying his nose in Callum’s arm from time to time or pressing kisses against his skin.

Callum thought he’d be overwhelmed or scared at the prospect of being intimate with a man, for real this time, but it isn’t like that at all. The nerves and fear were still there, of course they were, but Ben does his best to ease him into everything with so much patience and understanding.

They haven’t done much yet, just friction or their hands from time to time, slowly trying to work up to more Callum’s comfortable with. It’s still good though; it’s really good to be honest. They’re not just getting to know one another in mundane ways but also more intimately and Callum feels the trust between them build with every moment they get to spend with each other. And while he definitely feels ready to do more soon, right now this is all he needs.

Ben’s fingers begin to dance over Callum’s chest, careful fingertips gliding up and down and from left to right, alerting him that Ben’s completely awake again.They’re lying in comfortable silence for a while, just touching and feeling and being in each other’s orbit; the sole focus of the other’s silent attention.

Goosebumps are breaking out on Callum’s arms as Ben’s fingers continue to run over his skin, sending shivers down his spine. He almost wants to put his shirt back on, pull the covers up around them, but he doesn’t want Ben to stop touching him. He never wants him to stop.

“Can I ask you something? About your scars.”

Ben’s voice is soft and careful and the slight clearing of his throat he does to get rid of the scratch that comes from lengthy disuse perfectly masks the slight intake of breath Callum does at the question.

They’ve never talked about them. Ben hadn’t asked any questions when he’d first seen Callum without a shirt on, he had only glanced at them briefly before focussing back on Callum’s face, watching out for any sign of discomfort or unease. At the time, he had been thankful if a little surprised about it; he hadn’t been ready to talk about all that with Ben just yet.

Taking your clothes off in front of someone else is different than being naked on an emotional level.

Since then though, whatever this unlabelled thing that’s going on between them, has changed. It has become deeper and more meaningful. They have spent a lot of time talking about his childhood, about what made him feel like he had to hide himself away for this long. He told Ben about Chris and Ben in turn opened up even more about Paul. But the Army, especially his last tour, still felt too raw, too hurtful, to get into.

Ben had seen some of it, had seen him at his lowest that day in the rain on the swing, bottle poised to bring only temporary relief, but it’s still hard to open himself up to him fully. To tell him about the other demons haunting him.

It’s nice the way it is right now, getting to know each other without the looming threat of someone finding out or shame burning in the back of his throat. It feels good; right. And Ben doesn’t put any pressure on him to say or do anything he doesn’t want to. He seems to be content in just being with Callum, listening to him ramble on about whatever and share his life with him as well.

It’s what makes him certain he can trust Ben with this as well; that he can be honest about what he’s been through and not have Ben feel any differently about him afterwards. Ben understands him so well, understands a lot of things Callum never thought someone else could, and he just has to look down at Ben’s side to see that circular wound that tells him he’ll understand this as well in some way.

Looking at Ben always makes him remember he’s not alone in the world anymore. He has someone by his side who makes him not feel so lonely anymore.

“Okay.”

The word rushes out of his mouth in almost a whisper. The world around them feels so delicate encased in darkness and silence - the right atmosphere to spill secrets to your lover. He doesn’t want to break the spell around them.

“Are they from your time in the Army?”

Callum knows it’s just a question of courtesy, an easy way to lead into this heavy conversation. Ben knows a lot about scars, he has a lot of them himself; visible and hidden underneath, he can definitely tell they’re not old enough to stem from a turbulent childhood.

He subconsciously tightens the arm he has around Ben’s body and he gets a response in Ben digging his fingers into his chest, blunt nails pressing against his skin in silent reassurance.

He feels good around Ben and Ben has never told him he’s anything less than beautiful, but it takes time to believe it; to unlearn the harsh voices in his own head and accept kindness when it’s given to him.

“Mhm. I got hit with shrapnel from an explosion. I- We saved this boy but we couldn’t save his mum. I still think about him, that boy. It’s all I think about when I see this.”

He vaguely gestures down to his stomach, expecting Ben to follow his hand with his eyes, but he stays focussed on Callum’s face, listening intently. Callum can’t bear to keep their gazes locked though. It’s too much right now. Those old doubts keep streaming back into his head; the voices telling him that he isn’t worthy of all this softness and support from Ben.

“They just remind me that I’m broken, you know. Damaged goods.”

Ben’s hand leaves the skin of his chest and runs up to his face, his other one joining to turn Callum’s head down towards him, forcing him to make eye contact.

“Hey. They don’t make you damaged, they make you brave. A survivor. See, this?”

Ben’s hands leave Callum’s face to come together between their bodies, balancing his weight on his elbow to remove the big, clunky ring sitting on his left ring finger. He turns his hand around, the back facing up at Callum, pointing at the scarred skin where the black ink of his tattoo used to sit.

“This don’t mean I’m broken beyond repair. This means I survived the worst thing that ever happened to me. There’s proof of it, inside and out, yeah, but I’m still here. Our past doesn’t have to define us; we can just accept it and learn to live with it.”

He pushes the ring back onto his finger, his hand running back down Callum’s chest, a smooth fingertip gliding gently over the elevated skin and harsh lines lining his stomach; never prodding or pinching, only feather-light brushes against tissue.

He’s always so careful with Callum. Whether it’s his feelings, his boundaries or his body, Ben treats them like they’re precious things not to be disturbed. Like priceless treasures in a museum. It makes Callum breathless sometimes; the realization that he has found someone who makes this whole process of finding and being himself so easy and without any pressure sending his already too-attached heart into a wild rhythm.

“These scars don’t make you any less beautiful, you know. Don’t be ashamed of them.”

Ben’s voice is unwavering; tone sure and steady. Callum believes that every word he says is true to him. He might not believe it himself, but he’s sure Ben does.

He’s never had this. Sure, Whitney’s complimented him from time to time but he’s never had someone so openly tell him he’s pretty on the outside, not just that he’s a nice guy or that he has a good heart.

More than that, he’s never had a man tell him this. A man, he’s so interested in that it makes him dizzy with it sometimes. Dizzy and brimming with barely suppressed want. He’s never gotten the fascination before. He wasn’t one of those teenage boys who kissed a girl for the first time and never wanted to stop doing it afterwards - in hindsight, it’s blatantly obvious why as well. But with Ben it’s exactly like that. He wants to kiss him all the time. He wants to be kissed by him all day.

“Thank you. For saying that, for understanding.”

“No need. I’ll always be up for complimenting your bod, babe.”

Soft laughter fills the quiet air around them, Callum squeezing the skin of Ben’s neck where his hand is running up into his hair. As nerve-wracking as it was to open up to Ben that bit more, he’s glad he did it.

Ben is special. What they already have is special. Callum is sure of it.

He can’t wait to see where this goes.

[nastasyafilippovnas]

Imagine: Kate shows up, is absolutely amazing, realises Anthony is a mess of a man and is like “nah” and marries next seasons version of Prince Fredrich and Anthony tells violet to leave him alone and marries Siena, like he is obviously meant too, and everyone lives happily ever after.

That would be amazing. <3 also, I got really inspired after this ask, lol, but in an angsty way, so, let's just say this is in the beginning of this imaginary s02, before we can get to the everyone lives happily ever after: 

"why are you wasting both of our time when you so clearly wish you were with someone else?”, anthony & kate talking, santhony, kate/oc, wc. 1.2k (ao3 link)

After their dance, Lord Bridgerton escorted her to one of the quietest corners of the ballroom, a private place for them to talk to while still in plain view of the ton. Kate supposed that, to anyone watching, they would seem rather intimate. In fact, she could almost see the pleased smiles on her mama and the Dowager Viscountess’ faces, as they imagined planning another wedding at the end of the season. She resisted the urge to groan in discontentment, for it would be most unladylike. 

Kate wasn’t completely opposed to marriage and the Viscount was certainly a fine catch, but he was so dull and proper the whole time. He knew nothing of India and he didn’t seem interesting in learning about her country or even herself. That is, besides what was necessary to ascertain that she would be an adequate wife.

If she were to marry, surely, there were better, more exciting prospects to be found amongst London’s society. Someone charming, travelled, eager to explore new lands, who would treat her as his equal. Someone… not unlike Captain Ellingsworth, whom she met on her travel from India to England. She had enjoyed their conversations on the deck of the ship immensely, as the Captain told her about his travels and she shared stories of her country and culture. But the Captain never once mentioned marriage, and, besides, her papa would never consent to such a union, to a second son, that earned his living in the navy. 

Papa would not satisfy himself with anything less than a titled firstborn, like Lord Bridgerton, who had not said a word to her after escorting her from the dance floor and shoving a glass of water in her hand.

Kate looked back at him, ready to complain about his treatment, only to realize his gaze was fixed on the other side of the room, where a woman dressed in a sinfully (for the British, anyway) deep red laced gown was surrounded by a group of gentlemen.

Miss Rosso was undoubtedly the best soprano Kate had ever heard in her life. She had sang a couple of arias in the beginning of the ball, before the dancing had started, and was now receiving accolades from her adoring fans. A young one had even offered a bouquet of flowers and pledged his undying love to her, to the others’ amusement. Kate would’ve loved to meet her, to ask where she found the inspiration to sing with such passion, but it wouldn’t be proper for a young, unmarried lady such as herself to entertain such company. 

The Viscount, she noticed, also seemed incapable to take his eyes away from her. It was so glaringly obvious that Kate wondered how it had taken her so long to see it. He had asked her to dance as soon as Miss Rosso’s performance had come to an end, his movements both purposeful and stiff, as if he was forcing himself to do it, as if he had something to prove to someone. And she prided herself on being observant, really!

Kate took a sip from her water glass and decided to act accordingly to what she, personally, always felt was her best quality: blunt honesty.

“You know, why are you wasting both of our time when you so clearly wish you were with someone else?” 

He looked back at her quickly, confusion and guilty marring his sharp features, and she pointed discreetly with her head back to the other side of the room.

Lord Bridgerton followed the movement with his eyes and - because she had ben waiting for it this time - Kate saw as an expression of pain and longing crossed his face before the Viscount’s mask of indifference was back into place.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said, turning back to look her in the eye. “I'm perfectly happy where I am.”

Kate raised one her eyebrows - a move she had copied from her late grandmother -, the skepticism obvious in her features. “I assure you, Miss Sharma, Miss Rosso and I are merely old acquaintances.” He paused and looked back across the room towards the woman they were discussing. The crowd of admirers around Miss Rosso seemed to have increased, if that was at all possible. Kate could see now that some of the older women, widows with nothing to fear for their reputation such as Lady Cowper and Lady Danbury, had also joined their circle. She was watching the crowd so intently, wondering if any of the ladies would be persuaded to introduce her to Miss Rosso, that she almost missed the viscount’s next words.

“She has made her decision about me a long time ago.” He muttered, more to himself than to her, she supposed.

Her mother would’ve told her to pretend she didn’t hear such confession, one that clearly spoke of a prior and scandalous attachment. 

But Kate never much heeded her mother’s advices.

“Is that so?” She enquired, forcing him to turn around and look at her. She didn’t know if the frown on his face was because she was daring to question him about his words or because she had forced him to pay attention to her, instead of looking across the room, to the one he wanted most. It didn’t much matter either way, she thought. “I find that most interesting.”

“Why is it interesting?” Lord Bridgerton asked, more out of politeness than anything else, she supposed. The British tried to keep their manners even amidst heartbreak.

Kate smiled softly. “When you’re not looking at, she is always looking at you, with that same expression of regret you have. It’s like a mirror. And her eyes followed you across the room the whole time we were dancing.” He closed his eyes during her speech, as if her words were unbearable. But there was so much Kate had noticed tonight, she couldn’t stop the words from coming. “When we waltzed, she…”

“That's enough.” He interrupted her sharply. “Thank you, Miss Sharma, but I think I shall retire for the evening." 

“But she…you…” For the first time, Kate didn’t know what to say. She might not have thought this whole think through. She had thought he would have been happy to know his affections were corresponded.

“I don’t know how it works on the eastern corners of the Empire,” Anthony said, and for the first time, Kate thought she heard a hint of curiosity in his voice, about a faraway land where their fates might’ve been different, “but here in London, there are no happy endings for rakes and prima donnas.”

“I don’t understand…you could…” She started saying, but Anthony was already shaking his head, closing the subject behind them. She had thought he had put on the Viscount mask on before, but it wasn’t anywhere close to the resolution he supported now. He looked like a completely different man and the change disturbed her. 

“I shall call on you and your sister tomorrow, if you will let me. We can go promenade if the weather is good.” He said, dropping a kiss to her gloved hand.

She didn’t consent to the visit, as she should have. She didn't felt the kiss he placed on her hand either. Instead, out of their own volition, her eyes travelled across the room, locking on a pair of light brown ones that were full of anguish. No one noticed her pain. Around her, they all smiled, dazzled by her talent and beauty, but, as Anthony left, Kate swore she saw the soprano shed a tear.

[mcfreakin-bxtch]

Lovely

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1.3k

Requested: Yes | No

A/N: Ask and ye shall receive. This one is purely in Din’s point of view, the next and final part will be a little back and forth I think. Thank you for all the love and support for my writing! I am still working back and forth between my originals and requests so fear not, but, as always, my requests and taglist are open

Out of Love // Start Over // Here

You would be laughing at him right now, shaking your head at the mess he got himself into. Literally. Covered in mud and guts, Din trudged silently to the Razor Crest, head down and every step heavier than the last.

He left you

It was slowly killing him. His heart hung with a thick loneliness, the kind that seemed impossible to ever overcome; he could die any day and the Child would be alone and in even more danger than he already was, and you would never know just how much he loved you and how much he fucking hated himself ever since that horrible day, and his last words would be left in the wind; whispers wisped away in the air, silent and blue.  

The Child also seemed to understand the loss and would wonder around aimlessly in search for your grin and hug. Din would leave the ship, making sure the baby was okay, and come back with bruised knuckles and speckles of blood on his armor.

It seemed to be a constant for him, losing the people he cared about. Some, like Kuill, would probably still be alive and you would still be here, with him, smiling and laughing and looking at him like he was the most important thing in the galaxy; he will never understand the unconditional love you had (have) for him, he didn’t deserve it.

The Child’s gurgles brought his attention back to reality. He made it to the ship, closed the ramp, and put in it hyperspace, all subconscious routine. He petted the baby’s big green ear, giving him his shiny ball. The Child waved his hand at him, smiling around the toy. It was dangerous, being around the baby like this; it gave him hope. Hope that he had no right sharing, no right to feel or experience. Because all’s he done is bad – the Child was the only thing so far that Din felt he had done some good to.

He sighed in frustration when the baby fell asleep in his makeshift seat. He had been sitting there with the Child, still covered in filth, mindlessly gazing at the stars. The days blurred more and more like these: client, bounty, credits, leave, repeat. It was numbing, but it was exactly what Din needed. Being alone with his thoughts was bad enough, dark and consuming.

Din shook his head. No, the Child needed to rest too, and he needed to clean himself up. Shredding off his armor, then his clothes, he glared at himself in the small mirror of the fresher. The man staring back at him was broken, angry, and devastating. There were prominent bags under his brown eyes, his hair was getting too long now, as was his growing stubble, but he didn’t find it in himself to care. This was well warranted.

The warm stinging of the water on his back was the only thing he felt today – or any day for that matter – that actually relaxed him. His tensed muscles gave out a dull ache among the soothing of the water, slowly stretching and opening. These were the only moments where he allowed himself to feel a little of everything. Alone, naked in every way, and quiet. Some nights his sobs would echo among the ship, so dull and lifeless without the bounce of your steps, the sway of your hips as you coyly walked over to him or danced to a song you hummed when you were lost in your thoughts. They would suffocate him, dragging down to the deepest depths of his own personal hell.

He had to stop because if he kept going like this it was going to kill him. Every time he would close his eyes for a second to rest, your face would the first thing he’d see; disoriented, blurred, like you were trying to disappear from his memories. He was destructive enough to keep those memories, letting them haunt him until the feel of his armor was too much, and the helmet was too heavy and he was starting to fucking loathe it and –

He fell with a heavy thud on the hard, cold floor of the ship. Din felt the pain of the fall through his elbows and his knees, but instead of getting back up he curled on the spot. He hugged his knees to his chest, burying his head in between them the best he could. It felt like his heart was literally in pain, every nerve in his body pumping excruciatingly through the grief. He came to the conclusion that it was never going to stop.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Din surely didn’t need Cara Dune to tell him that. She stood in front of him with an angry frown outside of the cantina – he couldn’t remember the name of the planet they were on – arms on her hips as she assessed the Mandalorian. Even with all that durasteel, it was clear he was still a complete wreck.

“Why’d you think it was a good idea to just start a fight like that?”

Because maybe, if I revert to before she walked into my life, the pain will become more bearable. Maybe, I truly am the monster, the heartless, like everyone thinks I am. I deserve it.

He shrugged. He knew the real reason why, but he wasn’t going to tell her; he wasn’t ready to talk about you.

She sighed. “Mando, I know where she is.”

He audibly froze, fists clenching and heart falling. He wanted to run away, escape this conversation that was bound to come and go back to his bubble.

“Y – “

“Don’t,” he snarled. It came out rougher than he thought it would but didn’t flinch at the annoyed yet worried expression that crossed her face. “Don’t say her name.”

I’m too weak to fight through this. I see her face every day, do not let me hear her name.

“No, you don’t,” Cara retorted back. “Do you have any idea on what you did to her? How fucking shattered she was when I found her? I mean I get it Mando, I do, but it could’ve been handled better.”

No, she didn’t get it. How could she? When she wasn’t the one who fell in love with you, let you open yourself up, only to shatter you over what was always inevitable. How could she, when she didn’t live inside his head, didn’t feel how worthless he felt now over the damaged he’d caused. She wouldn’t understand why he was letting the pain kill him, strip of him of everything he was and built himself up to be. There was a small moment where he did want to tell her all this and more, but instead he said -

“I know.”

There was a pause, and it was then that Din frowned.

“Is…” He hated how weak he sounded. “I- is she okay? Safe, I mean.”

Cara looked down for a second, and he immediately knew something was wrong. His body went on autopilot, grabbing her arm and giving it a little shake.

“Cara, tell me. Now.”

She glared at him until he backed off, shaking her head at him. “Look, she’s gonna hate me for this, but she has gotten herself into some trouble. And it’s the kind of trouble that you’re quite familiar with, where she’s going to need some help.”

His blood ran cold. Of course, he left to protect you from this kind of danger, and you’d be the first to run headfirst into it.

Din barely gave Cara a chance to say anymore before he was rushing towards the direction of his ship, looking over his shoulder to make sure she was following.

Tags: @scarlett-berserker​, @justlovetoreadfics​, @lil-baby27​, @mando-vibes​, @beepbeepyabitch, @that-void-witch​, @im-the-music-whore​, @certifiedhunter​, @softpedropascal​​, @hejahockey​, @okaydacre​, @lemongrove​, @appreciating-chase-brody​, @iwontforgettheapplepie, @mybabyboytony​, @olyamoriarty, @pcrushinnerd​, @elusive-ivory​, @dizzydazed​, @bluejeancntrygrl​, @dadzawas-eyebags​, @moonstruck-witchy​, @our-mrlangdon, @parody-the-emi​, @evalynanne​, @purplewaterbird​, @angel-hunter-winchester​, @tedpicklez​, @pascalisthepunkest​, @coffeeandtodd​, @blunt-cake-yes​, @agoldin​, @ben-is-a-hoe​, @peacedreamer14​, @snokesthrussy​, @lustriix​, @readsalot73​, @longitud-de-onda​

[cloveroctobers]

BLAKE JOLLEY —

IG info/bio: @/jollyblke | 8.4k followers | Activist | I’m here to save the world, it’s my right. & You should care about your environment too, get active. If not? Leave. Visit: theindigenousmovement.com

22 (23) years old

From Kensington, England

Choctaw nation & proud

Visits Oklahoma every other summer...sometimes it’s every few years

Majority of her family lives there on a reservation

She’s made a name for herself in the town for speaking up for the missing and m*rdered women of her community & how they continue to sweep that shit under the rug

Call it what it is, genocide

Has been arrested & charged a few times

Has a sense of dread when she goes back but also a form of happiness since her mom, some of her sibs, and other family members are there

Has 7 siblings

4 boys, 3 girls

Chelsea found that so facisinating!

I feel like there’s two sides to Blake? Either she’s rooting for you or she’s shitting you, there’s no in between

Willing to communicate & have intellectual conversations

Has to be in the mood to socialize, sometimes she just prefers NOT to talk since that requires energy

Always tired, doesn’t sleep much, probably has insomnia a little bit

Was on the debate team in secondary

Either you like her or you hate her, either way that’s a you problem

Kinda a loner, keeps to herself—always feeling like people should be doing more with their time on this earth

But she also understands that there are moments where you need to chill/relax/ have fun or take some time out for yourself

Donates to woman’s shelters often

Attends & organizes protests

Minimal makeup: mascara, nude blush, moisturizer mixed with sunscreen, a lip tint & she’s on her way

Knows how to ride a bull but will only do so if she’s back in Oklahoma

Knows how to work a g*n & is licensed to carry but prefers not to

Enjoys cliff diving & swimming as a form of exercise (not counting the hr long protests she travels to & attends)

Will do leg exercises more than anything at home, does not have a gym membership & will never get one

Favorite color is in the tropical blue shades: turquoise & aqua

Her home is her personal sanctuary, where she feels the most safe & allowed to be herself. Doesn’t invite anyone over to mess with the energy she has there, afraid that they’ll ruin that. She’ll meet you somewhere but one thing you’re not going to do is come into her space

Always has kale & quinoa in her flat

Has a chronic stomach condition

She’s a very blunt person & many don’t take that lightly, she doesn’t sugarcoat anything

Doesn’t have much experience in the love department

A few have tried but she either ignores them or tells them straight up that she’s not interested, always was focused on her school work & other things

That’s why she’s single

Now that she’s in her early twenties she feels like that she needs to experience love

She feels like she wants it? However a part of her isn’t sure if it’s something that she truly needs?

Possibly aromantic?

so when she met henrik, she immediately felt platonic energy with him & didn’t mind exploring it but also found noah quite aesthetically attractive?

Henrik fit into her lifestyle nicely outside of the villa, it was nice having someone else to talk to & spend time with. She wasn’t sure how she was meant to feel when he asked her to be his gf inside & outside the villa but she agreed so why not?

Her mother felt like she shouldn’t analyze the boy as if he was some sort of experiment, Blake did like watching experimental movies/documentaries based on true events or reading about them but she truly did not feel like that’s what she was doing with henrik

They had their differences ofc, henrik was more easy going/chill when it came to things whereas Blake observed before she attacked. If It don’t sit right with her, she’s gonna say some shit

She was the one to call it quits with henrik after almost two years passed

She was not heartbroken over it but she did realize how things changed now that he was no longer in her life

Loves clothing that have slits in them or v-necks

Loves going to flower shops since they remind her of her mom

I feel like she smells like cherries & cashmere musk

Adores sunsets, that’s the time of day where she feels most at ease

Interested in photography & is currently exploring what is her best subject to shoot...her activism helps

she hopes to have her own biography made about her one day

learning to gradually let her walls down but it’s extremely hard to do with the negative energy the world brings

Is cordial with mc...after some years have passed and they and their significant other always feel the need to have meet ups once a year where they invite EVERYONE somewhere else

Blake feels like they still have ties with the production company of love island but that’s not her business

Unless her services are truly required and the $ is right or if Elisa decides to drag her then she’s not going

Being on reality tv was not her main purpose

She hated the superficial and trying hard, things should just be natural

She’s above love island now & she doesn’t need to see henrik or Lucas OR single Noah every year

Her profile is filled with activism and how people can get involved

Along with a good dump of her face, she knew she was pretty but she didn’t need to use that to her advantage there was, “more to life than shallowness”

She barely remembers the other girls she entered the villa with. she thinks one or two tried to reach out to her in her dms but she ignored them

Is indifferent towards Shannon & jo

she gets jo confused with lily from season 3 when they both pop up on her explore feed. Again she doesn’t know why insta feels the need to show her other people’s lives if she’s not following them in the first place?

Doesn’t follow people back unless she’s got a strong platonic connection with you

Has lunch & dinner dates with her dad since he resides in England as well

She believes her parents marriage is a reflection on her non-existent/small percentage of relationships

They live in two different countries and they’ve been married for 15 years & still seem to be in love...hey whatever works! It works for Dolly Parton & her husband although they live in the same house? I think

On the outside it seems like she has a cold heart and many around her have told her mainly her sibs but she doesn’t believe that’s completely true

She has feelings!

If she was truly cold hearted, she wouldn’t have any remorse for the bad she’s done or wouldn’t be fighting for those who deserve it right?

Cap sun + Scorpio moon + sag rising

Thinks Mena Massoud, Rami Malek, Ben Hardy, Rahul Kohli, Kurt Cobain, Manish Dayal, Janel Parrish, Charles Melton, Manny Jacinto, Miguel Gomez, & Clayton Cardenas are all nice to look at

Listens to: Yuna, Aly & AJ, Pip Millett, Jaz Kris, Sinhead Harnett, Iyamah, James Vickery, Maluma, Kanye West, emotional oranges, & Jimmie allen

Anthem? Hope Tala — All My girls like to fight

[cartoonfangirl1218]

True Colors

Looking at my old messages from FF.net, I found this old descendants story so I decided why not, I'll post it. Heavily inspired by @screaminginternallyalleternity's Jane characterization and JanexCarlosxJay ship. Mainly cuz I had been messaging her. Anywho, hope y'all enjoy.

"So what do you say?" Jordan asked taking a huff of silph.

"It's funny." Jane smiled dreamily, her mind already wandering off as the effects of the silph relaxed her. Though she was sharing her room right kow, she felt at peace and alone, and safe.

"No no" Jordan said waving her hand as if to clear the fumes "I'm serious, we should go to the homecoming dance as ourselves. Our natural forms."

Jane was tempted to roll her eyes at Jordan's ridiculous idea. Go to the dance in their real forms. Ones that were technically "banned" because of how obvious they were magical. Ones that she hid all these years.

She wanted to roll her eyes but Jordan was being oddly insistant about it.

"Why?" Jane asked, evading having to answer or even think about her playing a role in this scheme. She couldn't. She never showed her form to anyone. Her blue freckles were disguised with concealer, her wings and tattos carefully hidden through clothes in which she had never taken them off ever.

"Just for fun. To show those stupid mortals what they are missing? How dare they make us hide what we really are and suppress ourselves." Jordan snorted, clearly gearing up for her usual rant against mortals and the magic ban. "So worried about what we could do to them. How we are technically better than them, hotter than them"

"That's just the silph talking" Jane said softly but already she could feel her panic coming. Barely but it was there. The silph was suppressing it making a odd conflicted emotion.

She felt like she was about to drown, her head trying to reach the surface for a breath of frenetic air and energy but also underwater where it was calm and still.

"No, I thought of doing it before...Non-silph talking. Zoning out during class and stuff."

"Really?" Jane said, trying to keep the conversation heading back to her.

"Yeah. Like one time when I was 13, I had really considered it. Sorta stupid and immature. I wanted to show up Audrey. You know, because of how she is always bragging how she is the prettiest and the fairest. Also I used to have a crush on Ben."

"You had a crush on Ben" Jane murmured.

She never would have guessed, Jordan didn't seem the type. She always figured she would be with a more confident, brash person. And a Fae at that too considering how she always complained of mortals.

"Ben's...Ben. He's so generous and caring. Unselfishness, such a turn on." Jordan sighed wistfully.

"If it's just for the dates, you shouldn't do it." Jane advised.

"But it's not just the guys. It's showing off to the girls too. It's an ego boost. Aren't you tired of being ignored, and considered to be plain when you just KNOW that you could top those mortal girls any day of the week." Jordan protested. 

Jane blanched. No! That sounded horrible. It was enough people thought of her as a freak and avoided her now. Not that she wanted to hang out with others and their shallowness. She didn't want people to look at her like she was some sort of object. Her form wasn't even that pretty. "But but it looks weird, it's not pretty." She said.

"Please." Jordan scoffed. But seeing Jane's uncertainty she changed to a softer tone.

"Even if you don't think so. The mortals will. I mean I have bright pink skin for goodness sake" she pulled at her pink streaks "That doesn't look good but the people think it's hot as hell. It's because we are Fae. It's a novelty, we are exotic and exotic is erotic. It reminds them of who we actually are. Magical, mysterious, thus incredibly unattainable and sexy." Jane looked down nervously, taking long calming breaths. "I'm not doing it." 

To Jane, this step of showing off was too overwhelming and intimate. Her wings, her tattoos were personal. Whenever she did unfurl her wings alone she felt exposed but free because she was alone. To do that with people staring at her would be unthinkable and clustraphobic. These over-entitled royals would see her as exotic alright. A exotic toy or object to be touched and viewed over. Just more bullying over why Jane wouldn't serve them or help them.

Jordan frowned, "I was hoping but I figured you wouldn't. Oh well better yet to make a solo entrence. With your lithe curves you might have taken even more attention than me. After all people wouldn't expect you to do it." Jane sighed. No they wouldn't and she was perfectly fine with playing up to THAT expectation.

Two weeks later was the homecoming dance and Jane waited nervously outside the courtyard doors for her dates, Jay and Carlos. It was the second dance they were coming all together and she felt as fluttery as she did the first time.

They made her feel normal in a way. They all had issues but they understood each other. She felt safe, and even if people stared at the threesome she didn't care. The people that mattered to her were with her. As she waited patiently for the two to show up, she looked around at the expanse of darkness. 

How things had changed. She wouldn't have gone to one of these events last year. Too boring. But now with the incursion of VKs there were quiet a few changes even some repeals of the magic ban even though she had disapproved Mal's actions in ignoring the ban and giving magic and an even worse rep.

From the corner of her eye, she saw one of the ornately shaped hedges rustling and went over to it.

She saw Jordan applying the finishing touches of black lipstick as she stared into a compact mirror.

"Hey,” Jane waved.

"Oh hi,” Jordan said distractedly.

"Are you still doing your big entrance?" Jane asked shyly. Even though Jordan seemed fine showing off her form, it still felt like an intimate act to Jane so she felt that it and to be whispered with the respected amount of privacy. 

"Yeah," Jordan clipped her compact shut, and transformed.

Jane tried not to be so obvious in her astonishment but her mouth dropped open anyway. She could see what Jordan meant by the pink skin looking odd but at the same time, it was incredibly alluring.

Her hair had lost its' pink streaks and was out of the usual ponytail in long pure black waves. The hair itself looked like it was constantly moving in slow-motion as if she was underwater. Her eye were still light blue but now circled with azure. Same blue eyeshadow with three distinctive spots over her left eye. Her black lips provided a contrast to the skin.

The rest of her body had changed as well. A more pronounced curvy figure to say the least. The light green sleeveless tube top was cut off at the midriff and Jane secretly wondered how the hell it was holding up Jordan's pronounced bust considering that it looked like it was one jump away from popping out completely.

Magic she supposed.

Meanwhile her matching skirt laid loosely over her now obvious hips, and where her legs were, now was a smokey wave as if she had just emerged from a lamp. Jordan had also highlighted her look with shiny jewels that Agrabah was famous for. A diamond/emerald necklace. An amber jewel coming from her belly ring. Tiny ruby, amethyst and Amber jewels decorating the dress itself in patterns. Plus the golden cuff links genies were known by.

It was an awe-ing sight altogether and she couldn't or wanted to look away from how Jordan moved and glistened.

"So that dress..interesting," Jane said.

Jordan tugged on her pointed ear with it's single gold hoop, "I'm the embodiment of wish fulfillment. You learn to deal with the no clothes thing."

Jane merely nodded than comment, "It's cool that you're doing this. I just wouldn't...it's scary."

"I know, I'm scared too." Jordan said which took Jane aback. She had showed no fear throughout this whole thing.

"You think I don't know what might happen. Being objectified, moreso than usual. More demands for wishes. The usual entitled mortal comments. People that forgot how magical I am will remember, and want favors. Trust me. I'm sticking by Aziz or Ben the entire night. No casual one night stands today." "You don't have to do it." Jane assured her.

"I'm going to." Jordan said firmly "Even though I hate how people see me. I hate hiding who I am even more. Hiding magic is painful, and using silph is okay but still that is a small consolation. There has to be more." 

Jane thought of Starlight Valley with her father. How wonderful it was. "Good luck then" Jane murmered as Jordan started toward the door. Then paused to pull up Jordan's tube top up a little more so the bust was safely cradled in them. Even though it still looked a bit unlikely to stay that way.

"Thanks. Have fun tonight." Jordan said and went inside.

Jane resumed her position outside but couldn't ignore the pounding wave of thoughts she felt from inside. As well as the actual noise of whistles and catcalls.

Jane sighed and summoned some courage and wiped off the concealer from her cheeks as Carlos and Jay ambled toward her. The move revealed her light blue freckles that danced across here face.

"Hi Jane" Carlos smiled with a hint of nervous excitement. His bright white teeth made an unconscious smile dance across her lips. "Pretty" Jay, ever the blunt one, poked at her cheek, to which Jane playfully swatted his hand away.

"Have you always had them?" Carlos asked as he took her hand. "Yeah" Jane bit her lip, smiling.

"They're pretty" Carlos complimented "They match your eyes." 

Jane nodded her head bs shrilly and grabbed Jay's hand to head inside.

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Hey there! I love your blog and your asks! Can you answer E, F, H, R and T? Sorry for the long list but they’re all such great questions!

Hi!! Sorry my answer is so late(in case you didn't know, I can only blog on weekends, and your ask arrived on Monday night...😔)

So anyway, here goes!

E. Which character is your favorite, and why?

Ben Daniels. Because I'm an only child, I enjoy reading about characters with protective-older-sibling tendencies! And I love sweet guys like Ben. 🦊💕

Also, he completely trusts Alex in the field, which means he has good sense. (In NSD, Alex just suddenly goes "It's Jane Vosper" and the man immediately picks up the radio and goes "I need intel on Jane Vosper", no questions asked. Other characters would have gone "But why" and wasted some time while Alex tries to explain. Ben? Nope, none of that. Kid went through what 10 spies wouldn't go through in their entire career, little Cub knows what he's doing.)

And it may have to do with the fact that I read too much fluff fics and most feature Ben

F. Which character do you hate with a passion, and why?

Hmm, I'm not sure about "with a passion", since I think he's rlly interesting(and I can't hate characters who are interesting :3 ), but Alan Blunt. I don't think I need to explain why, but still: He's manipulative, uncaring, and cruel, and given the chance I would totally punch him in the face. Wait, no, correction. I would ask the boys in my class to sabotage him. Given two weeks, they could probably bring MI6 to the ground. (No joke, last Thursday those chaos monkeys called back a fraud caller to prank him. And they actually pulled it off.)

Anyway, to name another character, I find Henry Mellish(from Nightshade) extremely creepy.

I mean. What

The book doesn't go further than this, probably since AR is targeted at children, but older readers would catch what was implied here. (I didn't see this on my first read, but saw it on my reread.) Seriously, this guy is (according to Crawley) like forty. Julius/Alex is 15. I don't know what Julius did to Mellish, but I'm pretty sure that if Julius ever did a sane thing in his life, it would be this one. (Saw discord found the same thing, and I agree with what was said. Julius should have been sent somewhere that actually treated him like a child/teenager, not somewhere with only grown-up psychos around.)

H. What's your favorite headcanon/theory?

I'm not sure, since there are so many golden ones, but I like this one and this one! And also the "Yassen-didn't-kill-Ian" theory, for obvious reasons😉

R. Do you have any hcs about the Rider family?

Asking all the hc questions, are you Val? lol

The Riders are a military family, one with many war heroes, and just as many fallen warriors. But John and Ian were the first in Intelligence. They quickly made a name for themselves, the two Agents Rider, efficient, ingenious, and most important, successful.

John "Hunter" Rider is something of a legend in MI6, the double agent who had all but made it in and out of the deadliest criminal organization known.

Ian, though being counted among the best, is well-known for another, surprisingly mundane reason: his infinite talk about his nephew.

(Bet ya didn't see that one coming😏)

Ian, though he may not have been home much, really truly loved Alex, and was very proud of him. He would go on and on about Alex to his colleagues, who mostly didn't mind, since the young Rider boy always seemed to come up with some interesting(read chaotic and daredevil to the point of stupidity at times) shenanigans, reminiscent of his infamous father in so many ways.

What Ian hadn't expected was for Alan Blunt to hear his stories. Blunt heard what John Rider's son was capable of, just snitches of conversation from junior agents, but he noted and kept track of every single episode. How the boy was a black belt in karate already, how the boy had learned to snowboard in only a day, how the boy succeeded in saving quite a chunk of classified information from falling into the hands of terrorists at Gunpoint, at the tender age of thirteen at that.

Blunt had decided, then and there, that the Rider boy would make the perfect operative- highly intelligent, able to improvise, with the luck of the devil, and best of all, young. Young enough to evade suspicion, young enough to be underestimated, young enough to be molded into the shape of the perfect spy. Just like his father.

Less than a year from the Christmas at Gunpoint, Ian Rider is Killed In Action.

T. How do you think Brookland students would behave to Alex? Oblivious? Vicious? Or something entirely different?

I like to think there are two large groups, Negative and Positive.

The Negative group can be divided into three- Clueless, Uncaring, and Slanderous.

Negative Clueless is, obviously, the ones who are clueless. Most of them have one or two classes with Alex, and as a result they don't know him. They actually do think Alex is sick a lot, and even if they find it a little off, they brush it off. They think Alex is just fussing over nothings. Of course, if they thought about it even a little, they'd at least know that his illnesses are(officially at least) genuine. Just goes to show how they're not paying attention.

Uncaring is the group that thinks it seems a bit off. Alex Rider, the very definition of healthy and fit, sick that often? Doubtful. Eh, whatever. As long as he's back in school after a bout, then nothing must be wrong. Anyway, what's up between David Hughes and Amy Williams?

(Sorry abt the random names btw, I got a whole list of Brookland student OCs and all my fics featuring them are WIPs😔)

Slanderous is, well, slanderous. They form theories about what "Rider" is actually up to, and none of them are good. Asylums, gangs, drugs. These kids are the traditional fanfiction take on Brooklands, a bunch of gossipy, petty bullies with no clue as to how many times Alex has saved their ungrateful lives.

Positive can also be divided into three- Clueless, Worried, and True.

Positive Clueless is, as I already said, the clueless ones. Again, most of them have one or two classes with Alex, and they don't know him. They also think Alex is sick a lot. But these guys are the ones who ask if he's feeling better now, the ones who don't know anything but is still glad he's back. They're nothing but background characters in Alex's crazy life, but they're nice at least.

Worried is the group that worries about Alex. They think it seems a bit off. Alex Rider, the very definition of healthy and fit, sick that often? Doubtful. There is obviously something serious going on here, and they're pretty sure it's nothing good. But they don't know whether they should do something. I mean, what if Alex doesn't want or need help? And the teachers all say that Alex is out sick, so there must be some sort of official document. That, or the teachers are covering for him, which means it's nothing that they should know about, whichever scenario it is. So they do nothing. Watching, worrying, but doing nothing. After all, the grown-ups must have it covered, right? ...Right?

True is the group of true friends. They see how Alex's eyes get darker every time he disappears. They see how he flinches at the lightest touch. They see how he changes. To say they're not happy about it would be an understatement. They don't know what's going on, but they know their Alex wouldn't join a gang, or take drugs, or any of that sort of thing. They suspect it's something shady(how else would there be official papers?), and they know Alex is getting hurt for it. There's not much they can do, they know, but they try their best, try to keep him grounded, get a little smile out of him. True is the group of friends who are there for Alex, whenever he comes back from... whatever he does.

Woo, this got longer than I thought! Still got three asks left tho...

idk if I'll be able to answer them all this weekend, with writing for Spyfest and all, but at least I got one answered! Yay😁

Thanks for the ask, I appreciate them! And if you have any more questions, please feel free to ask!

-Lilly xx

[writingstruggles]

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren: a character analysis

OK, first things first: THIS ISN’T A STAN OR ANTI POST. This is a character study, and if you can’t handle this character getting impartial concrit, just don’t read. If, however, you don’t agree with some of the points I’m going to make and want to have a healthy discussion about it, then I’m all ears. I don’t think my opinion is the only valid one, so feel free to try and change my mind.

And second things second: I tried so hard to love the sequel trilogy, but when it became clear after TROS that the studio had no plan other than making money, it became very difficult. I’m aware that the main problem for all the characters is the lack of general planing in this whole mess of trilogy, so keep this always in mind while reading this post: the first problem of this character was that the studio didn’t even know what to do with him.

1. Does Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren make sense?

I checked the comics to get his background better. He had a happy childhood traveling a lot with Han and Leia, but when she discovered about the First Order, she sent him to train with Luke while Han and Chewie ran undercover missions for her. This is important: up to this point, he had a good relationship with his family, even if he was already being pulled by the dark side of the Force. It was during his adolescence that he started to be really seduced by Snoke, hearing the voice he thought belonged to Darth Vader. After the Luke incident, he did explode the cabin and thought he had killed his uncle, but he was not the one who killed all the other students and destroyed the temple: that was Snoke’s thing. He did kill some of his fellow Jedi apprentices later on, though. So, his turning points were Luke’s treason and Snoke’s coordinated abduction. And I would like to point out: the Sith training involves torture and brainwashing, so the first wrong impression I would like to correct about this character is that he was not simply a dick and revolted teen who ran away to join a cult.

BUT, there are some huge problems here. The first one is that when you watch the movies, you don’t learn anything about that aside from Luke’s part. In the way he’s presented in TFA, he’s Leia and Han’s son who betrayed his family, destroyed his uncles’ dream and joined the dark side for no reason. OF COURSE half of the audience wouldn’t like him. That wouldn’t be a problem if they just wanted him to be a villain like Darth Vader was, but it’s very clear that there was a plan (at least for one director) to make him a supposedly redeemable character. And how can we sympathize with his character like that? Even after we get to know what Luke almost did, the next question is simple: ok, so why he didn’t go back to Han and Leia?

And here is the second huge problem: we learned that after Ben leaves Yavin IV, Luke vanished, and Han and Leia broke up and went back to smuggling/leading a rebellion. And I can’t stress this enough, this doesn’t make any sense. The sequel trilogy killed Luke, Han, and Leia’s characters. These three characters that we have known for years would never, ever, had abandoned Ben Solo. Leia F*cking Organa and Han shot-first Solo would have brought their son back or die trying. Luke Skywalker is not a coward, he wouldn’t go into hiding and abandoned his only sister to clean up his mess during another war, let alone close himself to the Force, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to feel if she was in danger. Just remember Han risking his life to save Luke in Hoth; or Leia leaving the rebellion to rescue Han from Jabba; or Luke straight-up disobeying ghost Obi-Wan and ghost Yoda to save Han and Leia, even if that costed the war. They were older and different, for sure, but we are talking about the quintessential things, the things that make these beloved characters themselves.  

(THIS ^^. This right here is the spirit of Star Wars)

So no, in the way it was done in the movies, Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren doesn’t make sense to the audience, and that’s a huge problem. A friend of mine suggested once that instead of being a rip-off of ANH, TFA should have been a movie about the beginning of the First Order (because after we defeat the Empire on episode VI, episode VII starting with ANOTHER all-powerful evil government already dominating the galaxy and exploding planets just throws away all the previous movies’ efforts) and about how Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren. Just imagine if Rey, Finn and Poe had interacted with Ben Solo before he becomes evil: the stakes would have been so much higher, and it could have been well done. It would have made this character more human and likable.

2. Kylo Ren’s motivations: what does he want?

If the OT was about hope, I think we can agree that the ST’s themes are legacy and belonging. Having their protagonists, Rey and Ben/Kylo representing two apposite sides of those things was one of the best ideas for the new saga.  Rey looks for belonging in the past she doesn’t know, while Kylo wants to abandon Ben Solo’s past and find his place in his future as Kylo Ren.

In that sense, his character arc was somehow solid. In TFA, it’s clear he’s still struggling with the dark side and feels the temptation of the light: he loses control easily, and he’s not doing anything unless Snoke orders him to. Ok, but why? Why is he clinging to Darth Vader’s ideals and staying in the sith path? Basically because he thinks it’s too late, and he has no other options. Which brings us back to the problem with Han and Leia: his parents didn’t go after him, they chose to go back to their old lives – of course he would think there’s no going back for him now. “But he is an adult man and could make his own decisions.” It’s a fair point, but again: sith training corrupts you and even if he had escaped, the only thing that would happen would be Snoke finding him again. It’s kinda like leaving an addiction: you supposedly can do it by yourself, but it is so much easier if you have help. Not a simple promise or offer, but actual, constant, and present help. I can not stress this enough, but I insist that one of the main problems with the sequel trilogy was not explaining in a satisfactory way HOW and WHY he turned to the dark side and stayed there.

3. Han Solo

Okay, I will admit: maybe my opinion on this specific topic is biased, because Han Solo is my favorite SW character. You may call me out as a fangirl if you don’t agree, but my point is: making Kylo Ren kill Han Solo was a bad idea. They basically killed the character for half of the audience, with zero chance of redemption.

It’s because it’s fratricide. Unless your father is Satan, the Emperor, or someone as equally villainous, fratricide is just that bad. It’s not easy to redeem a character who commits murder, but one that kills his own father? Who happens to be one of the good guys? And one of the most iconic and beloved characters in the franchise? There were other options to give Kylo Ren a tipping point, a conflicted moment that didn’t involve killing Han Solo. But they did, and he killed him. And now he’s no longer a villain we can sympathize with: now we think he’s a monster.

4. His interactions with Rey in TLJ

(I’m not wearing shipper goggles for this. I don’t even own shipper goggles when we are talking about Star Wars.)

Kylo Ren is conflicted after killing Han Solo, (and I will make a small pause here to reinforce how good Adam Driver’s acting was. He’s the only responsible for all the likable parts of Kylo Ren, especially in this movie). Kylo is once again unstable and Snoke is displeased with him, and for a moment we think he finally turned completely to the dark side, until he pauses before shooting Leia’s ship.

The force bond was the most interesting part of the movie. I don’t agree that he used it to manipulate Rey: if anything, he was completely harsh and blunt and kind of a dick to her, but he didn’t lie. He told her things how he saw it, with so much conviction that she started to see his side of the story. And since she was probably the first person in years that actually listened to him, his decision of murdering Snoke and inviting her to join the dark side makes very much sense.

We are talking about motivations and his are simple: let the past die, forge a new path. When he kills Snoke and no longer has a master, he only has one option: to become the master. That’s why he takes over the FO, and wants Rey to be his apprentice. Does the character suffer from sith-tunnel-vision? Definitely. But it makes sense. His decision-making is not overly complicated: he feels alone, and he wants a purpose: he decides that the solution for both is Rey joining him in the dark side. When she refuses, he still has one purpose: the FO.

This is, however, the point where he turns his back to the light completely: on Crait, he orders the FO to explode the Rebel Base and kill everyone, knowing full well his mother was in there. He orders them to exploded the Falcon out of the sky, once again knowing that Chewie and Rey are on board. When facing Luke, he repeats that he will kill Rey and the rebels. His transition from conflicted sith apprentice to the new villain of the franchise was actually well done.

And exactly because of that, the next topic pisses me off so much.

5. The continuity problem between episodes VIII and IX

Introducing Palpatine here was bad for so many reasons: backtracking Rey’s arc, making us think about Palps’ sex life, insisting on beating a literal dead horse when there were new things to explore, etc etc. And it was also bad for Kylo Ren’ arc. As I said before, the way they finished episode VIII, everything pointed to Kylo becoming the final evil Rey would have to face, and that would have been awesome. We didn’t need Palps, or ANOTHER all-powerful evil army ready to conquer the galaxy with exploding-planets-tech (seriously, is Alderaan a joke to you, Disn*y?).

  But, in the third movie, they went back and decided they didn’t want Kylo Ren to be the ultimate villain anymore. They wanted him to be redeemed. And that’s not bad per se, but an actual redemption arc needs to be planned, and I think we can all agree, there was no planning in the sequels. And again, FRATRICIDE. So they introduced an old, more powerful evil to make Kylo Ren less evil and less of a threat in comparison. And evil so definitive, and with such a bullshit connection to Rey, that it makes Kylo reconsider his previous promises of killing the last jedi and going back to the plan of making her turn.

And so, his character spends the movie going after Rey, to tell her the bullshit truth about her parents, to convince her to join him. At least his arc is still somehow solid, because once he’s decided on his path, he doesn’t lose control like in the previous movies, and his body language is more firm and lethal. Which, honestly, thanks Adam Driver, he knew the character way better than the director at this point.

He finally comes back to the light when Leia dies. Although it was rushed, I agree that, at that point, it was literally the only thing that could have made him turn. Rey reminding him that he wouldn’t be alone if he hadn’t chosen the dark side helped, too. It was clear that the moment with Han Solo was supposed to be with Leia, but I’m really glad Harrison Ford agreed to come back to fill in the role for his old friend.

6. Ben Solo

Okay, there’s so much to unpack here. When Ben Solo finally comes out to play, it’s very good. We can finally see some things that explain Kylo Ren better – it’s so obvious how awkward he was in his own body trying to be an evil sith lord when he is clearly a natural disaster. He still suffers from tunnel vision, but at least now it’s Skywalker-do-or-die tunnel vision. It’s like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, and the way his actions scream Han Solo makes me, once again, wish the first movie had been about him, and not the whole “find a map/ Star Killer base was ANOTHER ridiculous idea / I know R2’s alignment is chaotic bastard but COME ON”.

Star Wars has a notorious story with pulling Force powers out of nowhere, and I’m not going to pretend to be an expert in SW lore, so I won’t complain about the dyad thing (and the weird stuff with the light sabers). I honestly liked the concept. There’s a lot I have to say about the final battle against Palpatine, but I think it would fit better in a future character study about Rey (God, that’s going to be another long ass post). I just want to add that after Luke insisted on her taking both light sabers to Exegol, and after all the crazy stuff Ben did to get to her, they should have, you know, actually fought side by side against 85% dead Palpatine? Aren’t these two idiots supposed to be stronger than that?? I’m not complaining about Rey bringing him down “alone” since she is the protagonist yada yada, I just wished that Ben had done something, instead of being thrown into a hole.

(Palps did that out of spite because of his grandfather? I bet he did.)

I won’t say I didn’t cry hearing the voices of the past jedi talking to Rey, because I definitely did. If anything, it was great to see so many beloved actors getting a chance to honor such iconic characters. But are you freaking shitting on us? Where were ANY of those assholes when Luke, Leia and Ben needed them, like, ten years ago?? “Well, force ghosts should not be used as ex machinas, and they don’t see the future” Tell that to episodes IV, V and VI. Anakin, Obi Wan and Yoda can show up for Vader weird funeral/party with ewoks but they can’t send a jedi signal for the Skywalkers to warn them about Sith bullshit about to happen? “They were probably ahead in the world the comes next and they didn’t have a way to come back, they just talked to Rey because Exegol is a Force nexus and-” And so is Ach-To. And so is Yavin IV. And so is Dagoba (Yes, Snoke sent Ben there for training). Look, I have no problems with Force Ghosts, I love them bastards. I’m just so freaking mad with the lack of coherence in this trilogy. If they did not talk to the Skywalkers – and I’m sure at least Luke and Ben asked Obi Wan/Anakin to show themselves A LOT – they should not have talked to Rey. It was a crowd please moment, for sure, but it was another gigantic middle finger to Ben Solo (before he becomes Kylo Ren).

And then Rey died, and Ben brings her back. I know how many funny jokes are going around in the fandom about how resurrecting Qui-Gon or Padme would have saved the galaxy so much trouble, but again, I’m okay with that. It was previously established that since they were a dyad, they had this living Force between them (although it was rushed in the final like everything else). And it does make sense Ben doing that: he had just come back to the light, and his parents were both dead. Han and Leia were gone because of him, the last time he saw Chewie was as his captor, and before that, he got shot by him, etc, you get the idea. He had nothing else, only this: the chance to make it right by a person that genuinely cared for him. Exchanging his life for Rey’s was nothing: he knew that his family would be waiting for him in the world that comes after.

So, did I like the Bendemption? It. Was. Not. A. Redemption. It was the right choice, and it made things right between him and Rey, because she forgave him for everything. But that’s it. He did not face the consequence of any of his previous actions. “But he died for her!” And we just established that it was not a difficult choice, considering that he had literally no reasons to stay alive if Rey was dead. If you want to see an actual redemption arc, go watch Avatar the Legend of Aang.

And finally, the kiss and the death. Okay, I know I’m digging my own grave by addressing that, but my mama raised no coward. Here it goes: it was fan service, pure and simple. It’s there to make part of the fanbase happy. Good for you, reylos, but to us, not shippers, it came out of nowhere. And I’m not questioning if they had feelings for each other or not: I’m talking about pacing and characterization. I’m not 100% convinced that Rey, as a character, as she was presented to us so far, would have done that. It felt out of place, and it broke the immersion of the scene. I was emotionally invested on what was going on, I was happy to see Ben smiling at her and everything, but then suddenly they were sucking faces and the “FAN SERVICE” alarm was so loud in my mind that I immediately lost interest. If they wanted that in the movie so much, there was probably a better way to do that.

It makes sense that Ben had to die to bring Rey back: one life for another and everything. I still think that, story-wise, it would have been better if none of them had died a ridiculous death, and Ben had faced the consequences of his actions as Kylo Ren, but okay, moving on.  The main problem here is what happens after he dies: nothing. Absolute-effing-nothing. He dies, he disappears – which, again, I won’t question because Leia was involved and Skywalkers do whatever they want with the Force and I’m no expert – but that’s it. Rey, the same Rey that had just jumped his bones fifteen seconds earlier, doesn’t even mourn him. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t do anything for him in the end, she just goes to Tattooine because it makes sense to the Skywalker saga to end where it started. She sees more of those Force Ghosts who never appear when they freaking should and that’s it.

Why is it bad? Well, first, like it or not, Ben Solo/Kylo Ren was one of the main characters and he deserved an actual final. Finn and Poe too, but those are long posts for another day. And second, it makes the fan-service in that kiss scene more evident. You can’t have the girl kiss him and in the next scene act like it didn’t matter at all. “Ok, then it was a thank-you kiss and there were no real feelings of loved involved”. But that makes it worse, it would be even more completely out of character for Rey – who avoids physical contact with people on the regular – to just kiss someone as a thank-you. Do you see how the math does not compute? If she had feelings for him, and therefore kissed him, she should have mourned him. If anything, she should at least miss her other part of the dyad thing. And if she didn’t mourn him because she didn’t have actual feelings, then she should not have kissed him. A little consistency, it’s all I’m asking.

7. Conclusions (aka tl;dr)

He was a somehow consistent character, but the lack of plot for the sequels was a huge problem. If the trilogy had been about Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren – Kylo Ren kills Snoke and becomes the real villain – Rey faces Kylo Ren and she either saves him or kills him, it would have been so much better than the mess the studio did.

His story in the comics is so much more complex than what it is shown in the movies, but what they did to Han, Leia and Luke was a crime.

It was clear that one director had a vision to give him a redemption, and the other to make him the ultimate villain.

Adam Driver did what he could to make this character solid and somehow likable, let’s thank him for that.

There was no reason to bring Palps back,

Rey’s actions in the final are contradictory,

He should have stayed alive to face the consequences of his actions,

and the studio is charged guilt for getting our hopes up just to crush them with their lack of interest in doing something descent for the fans.

But again, that’s just my analysis of this character. Feel free to disagree with me, I would love to see what other people think about Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.

[goshwrites]

business (yandere x reader) 1

warnings: swearing, ageplaying, obsession, unhealthy relationships

word count: 2.9 

A/N: still not completely my best writing oof but here we go

taglist: (none as of yet since i’m keeping the taglist for the ben solo blurb separate from this one)

  You know how like in some novels things happen right away one after another? Like the very next day or something?  Well that didn't happen with you.  The day after the whole fiasco with Romeo and Juliette... things were pretty chill. Boss of course seemed just a little agitated, but that was normal in your opinion since well... she always had a resting bitch face. Always. And then it was two days after it.  Still nothing. You somehow got hit in the head with a paper ball that was thrown so badly it flew over the small wall that separated the cubicles instead of the trashcan. Yeah. That person's aim was horrible, but eh. They offered you chocolate once so you were cool.  Three days after everything still was kind of cool. Someone's phone kept buzzing the Backstreet Boy's song I Want It That Way and of course any reasonable person would sing along with it which of course was you.  Then four- well that was Saturday. And that was your glorious dayoff of going to the store and getting facial masks.  And fifth was Sunday and with that you mostly chilled while working on editing your paper.  Six was... Monday to say the least.  No comment.  And then what do you know? A whole week went by the incident and it seemed that no one even remembered or cared or just... were even awake to see it.    Tuesday started out kind of nice. You didn't do that annoying thing of where you wake up like ten minutes before your alarm and then you try to go back to sleep because hey it's way too early but then you can't because anxiety and you spent like seven minutes inwardly arguing with your anxiety and before you know it- it's time to get up.  But that didn't happen. That happened on Monday, yes, but Tuesday? Nah you woke up to the beautiful bliss of birds using their vocal cords and like some violins playing in the background. Over all it was nice.  And you got a cheese bagel at your nearby bagel shop because they're everywhere.    You greeted the security man that stood by the door with a 'good morning' on your way into the large building that also housed other companies like some kind of shoe company and like maybe one of Jojo's bowties? You really didn't know and didn't really wanna know. You walked out of the elevator of the floor you were on and proceeded to make your way to your cubicle. You sat down with the rolling chair moving backwards a tad before you reached out and got out your laptop from the beach bag. You were just typing in the password and going to your documents when you heard a soft, "Good morning," from your left and you look over to the opening to see Ben standing there. A small grin came onto your face at seeing the dark skinned male.  "It is this time." You mused while thinking back on your grumpy mood yesterday. He chuckled while flashing that pearly white grin of his.  "And am I not glad for that?"  "Oh shut up." You said playfully towards the male as you brought up your latest project on your computer.  He just chuckled and shook his head as if he just knew that you wouldn't pull through on your threat. And well he was right.  "Uh huh. Anyways since you're in a better mood, I was thinking we could like go out for lunch?" He suggested with a shrug as you looked back up at him. He always liked to wear bright colors since he could always pull them off so well, so today he was wearing a neon yellow t-shirt and washed-out jeans. You weren't really wearing anything special. Just blue jeans, (f/c) shirt, and some converse so eh. Nothing special or extraordinary. Just the way you liked it.  But somehow Ben always looked nice in everything he wore.  You decided to just shove your writing abilities to the back of your mind as you pretended to think about it.  "Hmmmm. I don't know. I don't really know if I like you or not." You said while stroking your chin as if there was a beard there. He chuckled and shook his head.  "Awww. Come on, (N/n). I know you do and you know you love me." He practically whined to you with a childish pout making you giggle.  "Of course I love you. You're one of the few people that are tolerable here." You told him with a grin and a shake of my head.  'You know you love me' was that one inside joke between the two of you. Whenever one just wasn't budging on something for whatever reason the other would always play that card. And usually it worked.  He was probably about to say something about being offended by that statement, but your little bicker was irrupted.  "(L/n)! My office!" You heard your last name being called out causing you to sit up right in your chair. And there standing at her office was Boss. Now Boss... was an interesting woman. One, she was born and raised in Liberia until her family moved here causing her to have a very strong accent. Two, she was very... well... blunt. She was like the Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsey of writing. And three, even though her natural hair was black, she had dyed it a sort of burgundy red that stuck out like on a traffic light.  But you've never been called to her office before. Not unless it was for another project. But... you were working on a project. So why did she call you?    You forced yourself to rise from the rolling chair before you took in a deep breath. Just... don't jump around conclusions. You and Ben shared a look of mutual look of worry and confusion before you forced yourself to walk out and into the hallway. Others had already stopped typing to give you the look of 'uh oh' as you walked. Honestly you felt like you were going to your own funeral at these somber looks. But alas you reached the glass down of Boss's office. It was that type of office from Superman of where the walls were glass. You had to admit, you liked it.  But at the moment you kinda wished the walls were concrete so no one could see you get fired. Wait.  Fired? Now that started the anxiety ball rolling.  But before you could turn away and maybe act like you were too sick to come to her office, she saw you and simply waved you in. Those glass walls. Traitors.   You took in a deep breath and entered into the carpeted office room. Besides being all fancy with her name on the door in a sort of Instagram font, Boss had a reddish, dark brown wooden desk with four small drawers on each side at the top, and two large drawers at the bottom. The desk was definitely an expensive one since the handles for the drawers had designs on them. Overall Boss just causally flexed with the desk.  And the carpet was like really comfy too as you shifted on it sort of nervously. Boss just looked at you before she picked up a Rubik Cube and just twirled it in her hand. She looked down at the multiple colors as she mixed the cube up.  And finally easing the growing of your anxiety- she spoke.  "Sit down, (L/n)." Obediently you sat down in the brown, leather chair that actually fit very well with the desk. She waited a few moments as if she was waiting to see if you were comfortable before she spoke again. "Do you remember what happened last week?" What? What happened? What week? Last week?  What happened last week?  You had no fucking idea.  But were you gonna admit that? Hell no.  "Yes, I do." You told her with a nod to make it seem like you weren't an idiot.  "Well, today... I got the phone call from Stevie saying that she and Issac have gone back to his home town to get married."  Wait... who? Then... ohhh yeeaaaah.  Last week... those two. Right.  "Wow. They didn't waste any time, huh?" You said while acting like you had an excellent memory of all things at all time. Yup.  No dummy here.  But that kinda brought up a question... why was she telling you this?  "No, they did not." She said with a shake of her head before she leaned forward in her seat. "But.. I'm sure you're wondering why I am telling you this." You nodded at her words and she took this as a cue to continue. "Well... I assigned Stevie to an assignment that I thought that she was ready for, but now that she's getting married... well... I will need someone else for it."  Huh. Why was she telling you this?  Then... wait... oh. Oh.  "You... want me for the assignment?" You asked as you couldn't hide the surprise that leaked into your voice.  Huh. So obviously you weren't the first choice, but at least you were the second. Better than none, right?  "If you will take it." Boss responded with a shrug as she looked down at the Rubik Cube while simultaneously solving it and speaking. Woah.  "Well I mean uh- I would love too, Boss. But..." You briefly trailed off as you shifted in the leather seat.  "Just what is the assignment?"  "It's actually an interview." An interview? Now... that is something you did not have that much experience on. Who would you be interviewing? Harry Styles?  Oh now that would be great. (But sadly this isn't a 1D fanfic) "Well uh... I don't really have that much experience with like journalism and like interviews." You awkwardly confessed as you scratched your head. "But... who is it?"  Boss paused as she stopped almost... completing the Rubik Cube. What. How did she that so fast? But your confessed and amazed eyes moved back up to Boss whenever she answered your question with, "Edward Gimmens." Then... wait.  Edward Gimmens… as in... that really rich guy?  That Edward Gimmens? You just stared at your Boss in amazement as she finished the Rubik Cube. But you weren't amazed by her skill- okay yes you were actually- but more with the fact as... "How... did you get an interview slot with him?"  As far as you knew the philanthropist, billionaire, and whatever he had on his resume didn't do interviews for magazines that centered around Millenniums and Gen-Zs. He did it for those really big and out there magazines, you know?  "Well, believe it or not, he came to us. But that is not important. You'll have to come up with your questions and such, but you can use Stevie's notes." She said as she set the cube down and pulled out a folder out from her desk.  You blinked a few times at her rapid explanation as just.. woah. "But of course that's if you are taking the job."  That... was the million dollar question, wasn't it? Or the billion in this case. Ha, ha, ha.  "I... well... I... what makes you think I can do this?" You found the words coming out of your mouth before you could stop them. Uh- uh- uh- "Of course I am grateful you offered it to me, but umm... why?" You quickly added as to not seem rude.  "Well... Stevie was my first choice since she's done work like this before." Boss began with a shrug as she leaned back against the chair. "But when she had to go... well... you just popped into my head as the next capable person to do this."  You? Capable? You still got anxiety with ordering your own meal. "You... think I can do this?" You asked hesitantly and in an unsure way as your (e/c) eyes met Boss's. She smiled just a tad before she leaned forward.  "(L/n)… I see potential in you. You're a good writer and you know how to set a pace right in whatever you write. You're just... how do I put this? Not confident in your abilities. So... I'm giving you the old... shove-you-out-of-the-airplane thing."  That... did not sound ideal. Not at all. But still you slowly nodded your head.  "All right. Thanks, Boss, I'm honored you think so highly of me, but umm... can I have some time to think about it?"  "Ah yes. Of course, of course. Take as much time as you need." She said while waving her hand in the air and with her accent sort of slurring her words together making the 'course' sound like 'close.'  "But just not too much time. This does need to be written, you know."  You nodded before you stood up from the comfy chair.  "I'll... let you know by Friday." You decided on that day while your anxiety told you in one ear that you won't be able to decide by then and your self worth was whispering how she would find someone else in that time period. Fun times.  "That is good, (L/n). I'll be awaiting for your answer." She said with a nod as she stood up as well. You couldn't help, but slightly smile at the way she worded things. "And ah! Just in case you do decide to take the job, here is the notes Stevie had." She said while picking up the folder she had brought onto her desk previously. She handed it to you and you took it from her dark and freckled hands.  "Just read it over and see what you think."  "I will Boss. Thanks." 

  With one final goodbye and wave to Boss, you exited out of the office and back down the hall to your cubicle.

So... you weren't getting fired? You actually kind of got promoted in a way? I mean, if you did this interview right... others would be put on your desk. 

But this was Edward Gimmens, the CEO of Gimmens Incorporated. This was a man who's spent nearly three decades in making his name known in whatever way.

He was a well known and looked up to man in whatever he did. Whether it be taking mankind steps closer to having flying cars or what he was most known for, and you found it a little humorous, cosmetics. 

Yes that's right.

The philanthropist, inventor, and very rich guy was famous for his makeup. Somehow he had figured out a way to have any foundation or concealer or blush fit exactly to your skin tone. Instead of having to make a formula for each different skin tone, he was somehow able to make one for all. Needless to say, the product instantly became a favorite around the world. Even you had tried it once, and contrary to what you expected, it somehow blended perfectly. 

He was like the Willy Wonka of makeup. And you were suppose to interview him. 

  You sat back down on your rolling chair with a huff. But should you take it? It was a great- like really great- opportunity for you and the magazine. Of course Boss can always get somebody else, but still. 

It was great and big and perfect, but... also stressing. You were going to have to come up with questions... but Stevie did leave behind notes for you. And thinking of the notes- you had the folder. 

You set it on your desk before you opened it up to see the Instagram font that was Stevie's handwriting. 

Man. You'd probably kill someone for being able to write that elegantly.

You read over what she had so far in her notes and you had to admit that she had some pretty good ideas of what she wants to ask. You bit your lip and decided to close the folder for now. 

Hmm. Maybe... just maybe, this won't be so bad.

But of course- you needed another person's opinion on this. 

"Hey, Ben?" You decided to speak up over the clicking keyboards to your cubicle mate. 

"Yeah?" Came his one worded reply.

"I would love to go to lunch with you."

And even though you couldn't see it, you knew he was smiling.

[minimitchell]

“Can i at least take my shoes off before you pounce of me?” Because I know you want to😏

(smut ahead)

.

7:36.

7:37.

7:38.

Ben watches the minutes tick by on his watch, following the minute hand as it makes its rounds around the black clock-face. The house is empty and quiet; a far cry from its usual state with two kids running around at all times of day.

Today though, it’s sitting silent and idle on the square. There’s no music blasting from Lexi’s room, no cooing coming from the nursery upstairs, no low humming from Callum cooking in the kitchen. Ben didn’t even switch on the TV to keep him company.

Instead, he’s sitting alone on the couch in complete silence, alternating between staring at his watch and at his phone in his other hand, waiting for a message from his husband.

He will always be supportive of Callum and his career - they’ve gotten over their hang ups about their different career choices a long time ago and ever since they had their baby Ben hasn’t had much of a criminal career anyway - and he will always be on Callum’s side, whatever his husband wants to do.

He just wishes becoming a detective would come with less seminars and time away from their family.

Callum spent the last two weeks up north around Newcastle, completing a course and attending a seminar to prepare him for his final exam, and while Ben is insanely proud of him for doing all this training and studying to climb up the ranks in his career, he also misses him terribly whenever he’s away.

It’s worse at the moment. Their youngest daughter is right in the middle of teething and while they really lucked out with her when it comes to crying and sleeping through the night, it’s still exhausting to deal with this all on his own. Not to mention juggle the housework, his own job and Lexi as well.

He’s lucky that Lola and his parents were here to help; that they’re always willing to take Lizzie for the afternoon so he can get some paperwork for the Arches done or just take the girls out for an ice cream so Ben can take a quick nap. It’s completely exhausting, and he really doesn’t envy any single parents out there, but he wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

They tried to facetime every night when Callum was done for the day so he could say goodnight to the kids - sometimes Lizzie only falls asleep once she’s heard Callum’s voice for the day - and talk with Ben about their days. It’s not the same though, not even close, and it’s certainly not enough to satisfy the longing that’s made a home in Ben’s chest for the last two weeks.

Which is why he’s sitting alone in their home right now.

Callum called him a couple of hours ago to let him know he’s on his way home and now, over four hours later, he should be here any minute.

Ben is positively vibrating out of his skin; he desperately longs to have his husband back with him, to have him back in his arms, to feel him against him again. Hearing Callum’s voice is great, but it’s never gonna trump actually having him here with him in person.

He takes one more look at his watch when he hears a key being inserted into the lock in the front door, the sound of clothes rustling and a suitcase being hauled in following soon after.

7:51.

Ben doesn’t give his husband much time to arrive, strutting into the hallway and taking Callum’s face in his hands to pull him into a kiss before Callum can even get a word out.

Callum makes a noise against Ben’s mouth in surprise, before he lets go of the handle of his suitcase to wrap his arm around Ben’s middle, his other hand dropping his keys and settling on one side of Ben’s face, cupping his cheek.

The kiss deepens, with Ben pushing their tongues together before nipping at Callum’s bottom lip, not letting up until his mouth is puffy and red. There’s a hunger thrumming low in his stomach; a familiar need taking over every rational thought and only leaving room for feeling, wanting.

The vibrations of a low chuckle reverberate in Callum’s throat when Ben moves down to litter kisses along his neck; the hand previously on Ben’s face runs up into his hair, tangling in the soft part on the back of Ben’s neck.

“Can I at least take my shoes off before you pounce on me?”

His voice is light, filled with a smile Ben can somehow hear without directly looking at it, and god did he miss this voice. He still heard that voice every day for the last two weeks but for some reason he missed it terribly regardless.

Ben relents, disentangling himself from Callum to give him enough space to take off his coat, hanging it on the hook right next to their front door, and shrug his shoes off. As soon as his second sneaker finds its place on their shoe rack though, Ben’s hands are back on Callum’s chest, fiddling with the top button of his shirt in his quest to get it unbuttoned.

“Lexi is at a mate’s house all night, Lizzie is at my mum’s.”

Ben looks up at Callum from under his eyelashes, biting his bottom lip into his mouth. His mum had definitely seen right through whatever flimsy excuse he tried to give her when he asked whether she could watch their baby for the evening. But he just wanted some alone time with his husband after being separated for a fortnight, alright.

Callum’s eyebrows rise higher on his forehead; a sly smile spreading over his face. Callum shared a room with another colleague when he was away so there wasn’t much phone action going on at night and Ben just knows Callum’s as desperate as he is to finally have each other again.

“So I really need you to fuck me right now.”

Callum is back on him in a flash, hands wandering down to Ben’s ass and mouths smashing onto each other while he walks them into the living room and in the direction of the couch. Ben falls backwards onto it with a heavy thump, not being able to hide the hungry look on his face when he looks up at his husband. He feels almost dizzy with want; every second he doesn’t have Callum against him feels too long, too wasted.

Ben watches on as Callum unbuttons his shirt and throws him somewhere to the side, using the downtime to get out of his own shirt and get his jeans unzipped. It’s oddly reminiscent of the beginning of their relationship, the time before their kids were lurking around every corner, for them to just be able to get it on like this without a second thought. But god does it feel good to not overthink how loud he’s going to be or be aware that they always have to keep one ear on the babyphone.

He loves his kids but right now he really loves that they aren’t here.

Before he can pull his pants and underwear down though, he’s stopped by Callum’s hands on him, running up his thighs. He’s perched in front of Ben now, knees on the rug in front of the couch. Ben scooches down a bit, bracketing Callum in-between his legs.

Their eye contact never breaks as Callum pulls his pants and underwear down in one go, letting them fall haphazardly to the floor beside him. His fingers trail back up Ben’s legs, over the coarse hair there and down the crease of his hips. Goosebumps are following his digits, breaking out on his skin in response to the soft touch.

Callum leans down to press kisses over his thigh, inching closer and closer to Ben’s dick in the process. It makes him reach out to tangle a hand in Callum’s hair, holding onto it with a vice grip. He wants to tell Callum to stop teasing and get on with it but no words are coming out. It’s like he’s too turned on already to speak; the sight of Callum on his knees in front of him enough to render him speechless.

A moment later, Ben is sure he wouldn’t even be able to speak if he wanted to anyway, not when Callum seals his lips around the head of his dick and starts running his tongue all over it without much warning in advance. The curse that falls from Ben’s lips is loud and uninhibited, his fingers tightening in Callum’s hair.

He’s been practically half-hard since Callum had announced he’s on his way home and it only takes a couple of bobs and tugs for his dick to stand to full attention.

It’s not going to be a very lengthy endeavor, Ben knows it the second he feels that familiar tug in the bottom of his stomach, that pressure running through his lower half. He also didn’t get off in two weeks now, telling Callum it’s in solidarity when in reality he just much prefers his husband’s touch to his own by now, and right now it feels like it won’t take more than a few more seconds for him to tip over the edge.

“Fuck, babe, I won’t last like this.”

He’s torn between wanting to come and trying to draw it out a while longer, maybe get there together with Callum, but the decision is made for him when Callums pulls off with a wet sound, pressing kisses up Ben’s stomach on his way to his lips. Ben welcomes the kiss to his lips with a sigh, pushing their tongues back together to taste himself.

God, he has missed this.

Callum gets his dick aligned with Ben’s - he isn’t sure when exactly Callum lost his own pants and underwear; it must’ve happened when Ben was too busy wading off his impending orgasm - bucking into him in a way that wretches a desperate moan from him.

It feels too good, them sliding against each other like this, with just enough friction to make it just as dirty and rough as he likes it. Blunt nails dig into the skin of Callum’s back when he trails his mouth down Ben’s neck and onto that one particular spot that never fails to make his knees weak.

“Are you close?”

The words are groaned right into his ear, wet breath hitting his skin and making him shudder. There’s an edge to Callum’s voice that tells Ben he’s close himself, their hips meeting in quicker, more desperate, thrusts now.

“Yes, fuck, almost there.”

Ben arches his back more, twisting and changing the angle until he’s seeing stars whenever they glide together. He presses his legs closer to Callum’s body, trapping him in-between his thighs, gripping every bit of skin his hands can reach.

Callum is making these familiar, low-pitched noises in his ear where he’s pressed against his neck and they run straight to his dick, delivering that last bit that gets him to finally tip over the edge.

They must get there almost at the same time because when Ben comes back down to earth again, Callum is spent and panting in his arms; his chest rising and falling rapidly. Ben runs one of his hands back up into Callum’s hair, raking his nails over Callum’s scalp, getting a satisfied murmur in response to the gesture.

“Missed you, baby.”

Ben’s voice is quiet in the overall silence of their home, like the words are a precious secret only to be shared in the confined space between their bodies. Callum’s hand finds Ben’s free one on the couch, tangling and knotting their fingers together. He presses a kiss onto the skin underneath him and from above him, Ben sees that his eyes are firmly shut.

“Missed you more.”

“Not even possible.”

Ben presses a kiss into his hair, soaking up the feeling of having his husband back in his arms. They’ll have to get up in a minute, go for a shower and maybe order some food in, enjoy the rare evening they can spend with just one another. But for now he’s content in lying here, skin on skin and heartbeats aligned.

Time can run on without them for a while. Everything else around them can wait.

On his wrist, the minutes tick by undisturbed.

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 9: MJ is making Peter’s mistake from AF #15 (despite knowing better)

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

During parts 6-8 (especially parts 7-8) I discussed how out of character MJ’s attitudes towards Beck and his crew were. Allowing Beck and his crew to walk free is especially moronic when you consider her relationship with Peter.

For years  she has had a very deep relationship with a man whose life has been largely defined by one  instance where he knowingly allowed a criminal to walk free.

I feel it’s redundant to point to specific instances of MJ clearly being aware of Peter’s origin.

What is more important is this question: Does MJ’s awareness of Peter’s origin correlate to Mary Jane practicing the lessons it taught him?

In other words just because Peter learned valuable lessons from Ben’s death and MJ is aware of that, does it mean she  has also learned those lessons?

Does she  know that you shouldn’t knowingly allow a criminal to walk free if you can avoid it? That it is irresponsible to do so? That there can be very serious life or death repercussions of doing so?

The answer to that would be: Yes absolutely!

For starters it rather boggles the mind that for years Mary Jane could be totally aware of the details of Peter’s origin and understand that it’s at the root of pretty much everything  he does (including risking his life) and not herself grasp that it’s exemplifies a lesson everybody  can learn from. After all the ‘salt in the wound’ of Peter letting the burglar go is that he didn’t even need  super powers to avert his uncle’s death. Merely tripping him up or standing in his way would’ve delayed him just enough for the security guard to apprehend him.

But even if you don’t wish to accept common sense as a valid argument there are other examples, both implicit and explicit.

In ASM #127 MJ witnessed a murder committed by the Vulture (not the original) and was terrified of talking to the police about what she saw. Peter berated her harshly for this. After some attempts on her life by the Vulture MJ decided she would talk to the cops.

This clearly demonstrates MJ waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back then (before even knowing Peter’s origin) grasped the ethical implications of letting the guilty roam free.

Much later in ASM #275 MJ learns Peter intends to retire as Spider-Man. This is something she is on board with as she cares about his safety. The situation prompts her to ask about his origin (an excuse for Marvel to simply reprint Amazing Fantasy #15). It is an important moment of growth for MJ individually and in her and Peter’s relationship.

When he is done MJ asks why Peter is retiring if he became Spidey out of responsibility. This demonstrates she absolutely grasped the lesson at the heart of his origin. In this same scene MJ thinks to herself that she has privately admired Peter’s heroism. She wishes she could be more like him since she feels bad about always running from her own responsibilities. These would chiefly include abandoning her pregnant sister; see her own origin from ASM #259. As the scene continues MJ actually laments the Peter is now acting like her.

This pretty clearly demonstrates MJ utterly understands  how the lessons within Peter’s origin can apply to her. She feels bad about herself precisely because she doesn’t  put them into practice.

Her final appearance in the issue has her trying to talk Peter out of it. She tells him he’s making a mistake and isn’t being fair to himself or anyone else. 

When taken in the context of the above pages this dialogue heavily implies MJ is speaking from a place of personal experience. She knows that it’s bad to ignore one’s responsibilities and the ‘anyone else’ she is referring to could be directly referring to herself.

To make things even more blunt she follows that up by telling Peter straight that he can make a difference. That he owes it to the world to use his powers properly. This culminates with MJ, in spite of her concern for Peter’s safety, telling him he has  to suit up and save Sha Shan from the Hobgoblin.

As a whole the issue at least heavily implies Mary Jane gets Peter’s ultimate lesson. If you look at it as a math problem she doesn’t just see how someone got to the final answer, she understands the concepts and the mechanics of why what they did resulted in that final answer.

More than this Mary Jane actively grew in response to learning Peter’s lesson and seeing him live by it.

Arguably the most notable example of this can be found in ASM #290-292. In these issues Mary Jane learns her sister Gayle (the one she abandoned) is in jail and immediately heads out to Pittsburgh to help her. There she learns that her sister had tried to steal a rare manuscript on behalf of their abusive father Phillip, who’d drifted to the wrong side of the law.

Phillip wants MJ to retrieve the manuscripts Gayle hid before she was caught and without hard evidence Gayle would be released. MJ was torn between lingering loyalty to he father, misplaced guilt for causing her parents divorce, her desire to help her sister and doing the right thing legally speaking. She was torn up enough that she requested Peter fly over to help her out.

Ultimately she chose to turn her father into the police, hoping that under the circumstances her sister would be okay and it’d be worth it for them to be rid of their father for good.

Whilst she was on the fence for a while before making her decision, Mary Jane purposefully didn’t tell Peter so as to not force him to choose between helping her or letting a crook go. She makes it clear his presence in her life was instrumental in finally deciding what to do.

Perhaps more clearly than anything else we have (or will) look at these events firmly establish MJ’s growing sense of responsibility. Simultaneously they display how it is directly tied to Peter’s presence in her life and above all else her understanding  of the life lesson he lives by.

MJ grasped this lesson so well that she took steps to avoid putting Peter in a similar position to when he encountered the burglar.

She grasped this lesson so well that she was willing to risk her sister’s freedom and  send her Dad to jail for it. And her Dad was hardly on the same level as the likes of Mysterio.

Further proof of MJ’s growth can be observed in Web of Spider-Man Annual #6. Here MJ serves jury duty and does so willingly (hinting that this is a form of growth from her youth). Of all the jury members she is the only one who maintains the defendant is guilty. This is because she is the only one who is aware of what Spider-Man is really like and as such knows the defendant is falsely blaming Spidey for his own crimes.

In essence this is MJ clearly unwilling to let a crook walk free because she knows he is guilty.

Further food for thought is provided in Spider-Man Unlimited v3 #2. In this story MJ is working on a movie, specifically the role of a police officer’s wife. In an interview the art and dialogue clearly show us that MJ connects to the role through her relationship with Peter.

After the interview MJ ponders the ridiculousness of how she is treated compared to Peter considering the importance of his heroic work.

Towards the end of the story she tells Peter that she feels like she doesn’t do anything valuable compared to him, a sentiment he disagrees with and corrects her on.

This story at least implies that MJ is fully aware of the importance of Peter’s job and would like to actively contribute to it in some kind of similar way, to make a difference. Which in turn implies that she understands the lesson underpinning Peter’s job in the first place.

My final example is a contentious one I will admit, but it does provide yet more food for thought.

It stems from the atrocious ASM #605. The story contradicts not only the stories mentioned above but also Peter and MJ’s established characterization in general. However it does contain the clearest cut example of Mary Jane absolutely 100% understanding and putting into practice Peter’s ultimate life lesson.

The gist of things is that Mary Jane, whilst in L.A., finds herself caught up in dangerous encounter with the White Rabbit. For her own protection MJ disguises herself as Alice of Wonderland fame, complete with a creepy mask.

Sprinkled throughout the tale are flashbacks to a heated (and bullshit) argument MJ and Peter had in the past. As MJ tries to escape she comes across a the White Rabbit preparing to murder a civilian, this then triggers another flashback to the argument with Peter. She recalls Peter essentially telling her to not simply stand by and do nothing as he once did. This prompts MJ to intervene and save the civilian.

Again, this is a contentious example to bring up (for various reasons) and I absolutely own up to that.

However, it shows that even when one uses nonsensical Brand New Day era stories and mischaracterization Mary Jane still  understood and acted upon the same lesson Peter lived by.

Thus from whatever angle you slice it from she isn’t going to allow criminals evading justice (let alone actively perpetrating crimes) to get away with it if she can do something about it.

And yet that is exactly what she is doing in AMJ.

Of course a counterargument to this would be that the situation in AMJ is different by virtue of Beck (and arguably his crewmembers) seemingly seeking some form of redemption in making the movie.

But that’s a topic for next time.

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Master Post

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

keep calm and let HR handle it [I/VI]

Rey managed to go a full year without ever directly interacting with her new CEO, but now it seems like he’s dropping by her office every single week.

(Because what else is a love-struck fool to do when he falls for his head of HR other than find reasons to visit her department?)

OR: five times Ben gets summoned down to HR, and one time Rey gets called into the CEO’s office, based on this prompt from @optimisticsprinkles: "Rey as the director of HR at [office] and Kylo/Ben starts finding reasons to be sent down to HR".

Hello, friends! I’m officially back from hiatus with a one-shot that somehow stretched into a six-part fic. Here’s hoping I’m not too rusty! Anyway, please enjoy the office shenanigans of CEO Ben and head of HR Rey as they go from colleagues to friends to lovers.

Chapter 2 Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter and Ko-fi?

To: ben_solo@organafoundation.com From: rey_niima@organafoundation.com Subject: Office Conduct

Dear Mr. Solo,

This department has been contacted by several concerned individuals regarding your conduct this afternoon. Attached please find my schedule for the next two weeks; I would appreciate it if you could drop by my office for a meeting between us at your earliest convenience.

Warm regards, Rey Niima, Head of Human Resources, The Organa Foundation.

 To: rey_niima@organafoundation.com From: ben_solo@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: Office Conduct

Dear Ms. Niima,

As I’m sure you’re aware, I’m quite busy handling the fall-out of today’s events. My only availability this month would be at 5PM this Friday. Of course, I don’t expect you to stay after hours for a meeting. Perhaps we should reschedule for next month?

Best regards, Ben Solo, Chief Executive Officer, The Organa Foundation.

 To: ben_solo@organafoundation.com From: rey_niima@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: Office Conduct

Dear Mr. Solo,

I look forward to seeing you on Friday, in that case.

Warm regards, Rey Niima, Head of Human Resources, The Organa Foundation.

 It’s a little… surreal, Rey thinks, that she’s managed to avoid her new CEO for a whole year only to have their first in-person encounter revolve around her telling her boss off for throwing a temper tantrum.

She’s still a little hung up on the boss part, but Rose and Kaydel had pretty much forced her to send that email on Wednesday after news of the morning’s events started spreading like wildfire.

“This is exactly what HR is for!” Kaydel had insisted.

“If anyone else thrashed their office and made their assistant piss their pants in fear, you’d definitely call them in,” Rose had pointed out.

The keyword being anyone else, Rey had attempted to argue. The chain of command is clear, after all, in that the CEO sits at the very top of it, while the head of HR falls somewhere around the middle at best. But her team had refused to take no for an answer, and so here she is, two days later, anxiously waiting for her boss to arrive so that she can… gently scold him for his inappropriate behavior? Drop hints about anger management? Make pointed comments about the cost of replacing office supplies and furniture?

Rey has had two whole days to prepare for this meeting, and she still feels like she’s walking into it completely blind. She’s spent every free moment since Solo’s reply quizzing her friends and coworkers about him, only to somehow end up with even more questions about her boss than she had to begin with.

Paige thinks that Ben Solo is intimidating, but also shy. Finn says he’s intense and result-driven, but he tries to keep things light in the office. Poe swears he’s seen some of the scariest people in the business leave Solo’s office in tears, but Wednesday’s outburst was the first time anyone in the building had actually witnessed his legendary anger issues.

An okay boss, the consensus seems to be. Nowhere near as loved and respected as his predecessor and mother, but also nowhere near as bad as all of them had feared when it was announced that the COO of their sworn enemy was jumping ship to return to the family business.

It’s this reassurance that Rey clings to when the dreaded knock on her door comes at exactly 5PM. At least he’s punctual, even for a meeting he obviously tried his best to evade. Joke’s on him, though, because now they’re both wasting their Friday evening when they could have had this meeting at a perfectly normal working hour instead.

“Come in,” Rey calls out, and it instantly occurs to her how strange it is that she’s giving the CEO permission to enter her office. How in the world is she supposed to build up to the telling him off part?

Said CEO strides into her office with his eyes firmly fixed upon his phone and a furrow between his brows. “I apologize, Ms. Niima, but I have a previous engagement scheduled for forty-five minutes from now so we’re going to have to make this–”

He stops short as soon as he looks up from his phone and at her, and usually Rey would break the ice by asking if she has something on her face or in her teeth but… she’s equally at a loss for words, it seems.

Because here’s the thing: Rey thought she knew what Ben Solo looks like. After all, she’d seen him from a distance the day of Leia’s retirement party, when he was first announced as his mother’s successor, and sometimes their paths cross and she spies him down the hallway or across a room. But distance… distance does not do Ben Solo justice.

He’s tall, but she’d figured as much just from seeing him tower over literally everyone else in the office. Broad too, but she vaguely recalls Poe once insisting to a skeptical Finn that Ben Solo is shredded, so that’s no surprise.

But up close like this, what strikes Rey the most is his eyes. She’d forgotten – or maybe never even realized – that he has Leia’s eyes. It’s disconcerting to see that familiar glint of quiet determination lost in a sea of something she’s unable to name, something she only recognizes because like calls to like.

Rey shakes that thought off and snaps herself out of it, just in time to stand up and take Solo’s hand as he reaches for hers.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms. Niima,” he says, and Rey has to force herself to concentrate on his words rather than the smile that frames them. “I’ve heard so much about you, especially from my mother.”

She blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, still holding his hand. “It’s Rey. Um, I mean – please, call me Rey. No one calls me by my last name.” It’s not even hers, not really, but this is a HR meeting with her boss, not a heart-to-heart with her best friend.

“Same here,” he says with a shrug, and somehow they let go of each other to settle into their seats at the same moment. “Just Ben will do.”

Rey knows for a fact that a lot of people call him by his last name – nearly everyone, in fact, with the exception of Poe and his preferred boss man – but that’s not what they’re here to talk about, and she’s not going to let herself get derailed – not by tiny details like what he prefers to go by or the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles at her or how cramped he makes her rather spacious office feel.

She turns her attention to the clock hanging above her door instead – a kitschy little thing Rose brought back as a souvenir from a trip once – and is rudely reminded of the circumstances surrounding their meeting. It is 5PM on a Friday evening, and she should be at the company’s weekly happy hour over at Maz’s instead of dealing with her misbehaving boss. It’s a much-needed reminder, one Rey keeps in mind as she dives straight into it.

“Okay, Ben. Since you’re in a hurry, let’s get right to it. Could you talk me through the events of Wednesday morning?” She’s always been a no-nonsense, straight to the point kind of person, but Rey feels a brief flash of regret for her bluntness when the smile on Ben’s face suddenly disappears, only to be replaced by a perfect mask of… nothing.

“Right. Wednesday.” He clears his throat and drops his eyes down to his hands, laced together on the other end of her desk, and Rey watches in mild concern as this huge man seems to curl in on himself. “Look, it was… it was not my best moment, that’s for sure.”

He looks up then, carefully meeting her eyes, and Rey encourages him to go on with a wordless nod and the listening face she’s spent all her time in HR perfecting.

It works like a charm, every time. “I’ve been trying so hard,” Ben says quietly, still facing her even as his eyes occasionally dart away, “ever since I got here, and it’s been a whole year so I thought maybe things really had changed, maybe I’d changed, but then… then Wednesday happened, and fu- freaking Armitage Hux just had to swoop in and ruin everything for us, and I just…” He brings one hand up to run his fingers through his hair in an agitated manner, while the other clenches into a fist. This time, when his eyes move over her shoulder to stare out her window, they stay there.

“Of course Hux was the one to ruin everything. It’s always– maybe he brings out the worst in me. Maybe it’s just FO as a whole. Or maybe I’m just an asshole making excuses–”

His speech is getting faster, his breathing harder, and Rey looks down to find the fingers curled into a fist pressing so hard into his palm it looks like they might cut crescents into his skin.

It’s instinct, the way she reaches out for him without a moment’s thought or hesitation, the way she places her hand on top of his to soothe and comfort.

“Ben,” she says quietly, firmly.

And his eyes immediately snap back to hers.

“Sorry,” he says, the tension seeping out of his shoulders and eyes and jaw, leaving him looking rather like a deflated balloon. “Sorry, I just… I’m guessing you’ve heard about my experience with First Order?”

Who hasn’t heard the tale of how Ben Solo nearly gave his mother a heart attack when he chose to work with her mortal enemy right out of college? Who hasn’t heard all the whispered horror stories about his notoriously short fuse and his cold, unfeeling way of doing business and his complete lack of passion and principles?

Except… that’s in the past, all of it. And in the entire year that Ben Solo has served as CEO of the Organa Foundation, this is the very first incident she’s heard of. So Rey decides to go easy on him, especially in light of what he just said – or ranted – about trying to change.

“Bits and pieces,” she claims, a white lie.

Ben pulls his hand away from hers with a nod. “Enough to know what kind of person I was,” he assumes. “It’s probably true, everything you’ve heard. Especially the worst parts. But I meant what I said, about trying. That’s really not who I am anymore.”

He hangs his head in shame.

“Or at the very least, it’s not who I want to be anymore.”

Rey almost wishes his hand were still in hers, just so she could give him a little supportive squeeze. “One slip-up doesn’t undo a whole year of hard work, Ben,” she says instead, as gently as she can. “And given that this is the first time you and I have had to sit down, I’d say you’ve been doing pretty well this past year.”

It occurs to her, as she waits for him to absorb her encouragement and look up again, that this is not at all how she’d expected this meeting to go. First of all, she’s supposed to be scolding him, not comforting him. And secondly… this is her boss, not some overworked newbie stressing out about their first project. Absolutely no one is going to believe she ended up spending her meeting with the notorious Ben Solo as some kind of motivational coach instead.

But then he looks up at her with a smile – a small, soft thing – and suddenly… suddenly Rey’s okay with all of it.

“Thank you. That… that means a lot. And I’m sorry, for all of this… babbling. I don’t know what came over me, I don’t usually open up to people like this–“

“It’s a HR thing,” Rey quickly assures him, even though she can count the number of people who’ve actually broken down and opened up to her during a meeting on one hand. She just… she doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.

Except she might’ve just made things uncomfortable with that reminder of the roles they’re supposed to play, the professional boundaries that should be in place.

Ben stills for a moment, and then sits up straighter, slides his hands off her desk and out of view. “Right. It’s just part of your job, isn’t it? Anyway, I should get going, there’s a conference call I need to attend to and I’m sure you have plans, what with it being Friday evening and all that–”

Rey watches in a sort of stunned silence as he abruptly stands up and cuts their meeting short, jarred by the sudden switch into exactly the kind of CEO she’d expected him to be. It’s only when he makes to turn his back to her that she snaps out of it.

“Wait, we still have to talk about what you did–“

“It was a mistake,” Ben says, without turning to look at her. “A slip-up, like you said. And it won’t happen again, I promise.” With that, he sweeps out of her office just as suddenly as he’d entered it.

And Rey is left staring at her door, trying to process the weirdest meeting of her life.

. . .

One down, four +1 left to go!

And hey: hello again, friends! It's been a while - more than four months, if anyone's keeping track. My hiatus was long, unexpected, and damaging, because wow is it hard to get back into writing proper fics after four months of nothing but the occasional Twitter fic. I've tried my best to polish this, so hopefully it's not as clunky as I fear it is. And hopefully things will get smoother with each subsequent update, as I remember how this writing thing works.

Until then, thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it, and as always, comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated.