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bacchuschucklefuck · 7 days

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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

#calne ca #hatsune miku #VOCALOID #cw: body horror #<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today #well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself #but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog #ask to tag #I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool #I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover #I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess #though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part #I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc #happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...

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rainparadefromhell · 2 years

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guys i'm in my tumblr flop era idk what to do on here and it makes me sad!!

#but real life has been great lol #i haven't been so motivated to do school like this since probably 5th grade #switching majors is the way to success fr #fun fact abt me i switched from spanish to english this year #i love spanish but it was way too hard for me and the professors were not in fact slay #but if i know one thing it's english so i'm thriving now #also been pushing myself to make friends #it's really stressful bc i struggle with social anxiety but it's getting easier #also i get to go home for halloween #only for 4 days but still #and see my dog!!!!!#personal #life's good

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kitorin · 5 months

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I WANNA GET HIS NUMBER

#sou's thoughts #hi here to give context down here #i've been going to this badminton club #and there's this super sweet guy who i admire sm #bc i don't speak chinese at all and people keep assuming i do but never remember that i don't #BUT HE REMEMBERED I DON'T and even goes as far as speaking english for me and translating #like this lady started speaking to me in chinese and i was so lost BUT HE WAS NEARBY AND TRANSLATED FOR ME #school starts soon so tomorrow's my last day #since wechat won't work (mf won't let me sign up) i'm gonna ask for his number #also i wanna try do more small talk !!#idek his age yet and what he does i just know how long he's played #but he's super fun to play with so i want to invite him if i ever book courts during the term #he's literally my role model #i wanna make someone feel that welcome bc before i spoke to him i felt so left out #and kept telling myself that i should just push through and make use of being able to play with new people #now i've been so excited to go and speak to new people #anyways long ass ramble but wish me luck !!#ngl last time i made friends outside of school i did it by trading parent numbers #SO LIIIIIKE #i'm nervous

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justxaxstrayxkid · 1 year

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Small and low quality Mizuchi ft smol baby Yato

It's been a while. I miss these posts :(

#noragami #mizuchi #yato #Noragami spoilers #i'm thinking of coming back to this blog #like posting frequently like i used to #not everyday but hopefully at least once a week #life has been so hectic #firstly i think last year i lost commitment for this blog cuz i was hyperfixating on a visual novel series #and that series literally took my attention away from everything i swear l #and then this year happened oh dear lord school is beating me to a pulp every damn week #started at a new school in november & it took me long to make friends #and on top of that most of my classes are ultra boring and the teachers pile on work like crazy #i have to push myself so hard and burn out at the end of every week to get every assignment turned in #only got a month left of school so yea but also nay cuz there's sm left to do #got a damn eoc exam tomorrow and then a physics exam the next day #i have a performance for my asl class which im so not prepared for in a few weeks #and then finals like the week after the performance i think?#oh and my algebra teacher said she's giving us another exam before the final #very fun!! i love being a high schooler XD

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melto · 7 months

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my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.

#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy #which makes it feel like all of a sudden i have a timer and i need to kiilllmyself #but mostly. The biggest issue is i think of my exbest friend bc it was our week always even if they treated me horrible #and i would just go along with whatever they wanted even if i hated it and i just think about them think about them think about them #and i dont want them in my life but i will talk myself into missing them #and feel guilty like its my fault like i deserved everything they did to me like i should never be allowed to move past it #and then i get so embarassed over how i let them rule my life and ruin so much for me and made me break away from people i care about #but then its like im so lonely at least they were always there even if they hated me #even if they wanted me to be so miserable even if they just wanted to know they would always have someone to push around #And i still have trouble when it comes to food im still scared of opening up to people im still scared of my friends of buying new clothes #somehow everything they said to and about me was true even though none of it is and it hurt me and ruined so much #but i must have deserved it. they were supposed to know me best. and i never have known myself #so everything they had said about me has been true for so long.#every time i have the thought that i miss them i think i need to crash my car #every year it gets better every week it is easier but its been so bad recently its been so bad i feel like pieces of me are falling apart #i dont want to manifest this year it being bad bc its just starting to get easier after my total depressive state but god #im looking at are they made for me years ago and i want to rip it apart but i cant every time i try i almost throw up.#i think im going to throw up right now.#deeply pathetic.#news with isaac

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commandermahariel · 22 days

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siiiiiiigh

#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here #my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another #she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something #upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this #and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it #today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i #had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything #and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin #myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission #and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless #i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down #even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me #but i also fucking hate it #maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily #i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already #and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there #i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me #i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao #people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something #nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me #i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics #i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it #one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly #all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't #have to go back #sealene.txt

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cats-in-the-clouds · 1 month

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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low

#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends #and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial #even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it #my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that #tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all #which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility #but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power #i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself #that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross #but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me #and even if they find me how do i not fumble it #my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice #which is usually true #i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones #i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am #one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me #but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me #like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance #so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert #it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others #even though i can’t help myself #what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me #i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already

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piplupod · 3 months

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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset

#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul #and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately #been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies #and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl #im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired #it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand #and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife #and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre #and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone #but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn #bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief #i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling #and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it #like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere #im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues #to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back #and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe #a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated #who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that #it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable #okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc #one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #self harm mention

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reflectionsofgalaxies · 3 months

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#idk why I’m putting this in tags instead of an actual post #this is a postitive thing #anyway #i’ve been ‘working out’ (in quotations bc it’s very small and short but it’s still exercise!)#and i’m actually seeing results??#I’m mostly working on my upper body/arms bc of vanity reasons #anyway my biceps and my back look. dare I say. kinda hot.#and I can do like ten more consecutive push-ups than when I started!#which again isn’t a lot but it’s progress and I’m proud #anyway I gotta work on my cardio for actual health reasons not vanity ones #It’s just still kinda really hard to get out of the house #I wanna start doing the uphill trail near my house again but it’s hard to motivate myself alone #and like my dad would go with me but he makes a lot of ‘jokes’ about my health and fitness level that are actually kinda hurtful #he made one of those in front of the friend I did it with a couple weeks ago #and it didn’t ruin my sense of accomplishment but it also definitely didn’t feel great #I know he doesn’t mean anything by it but like. I kinda wish he could just be supportive or even normal about it.#this got off topic #I’m happy for myself and feeling good in my body #I’ve got a ways to go but I’ve given myself a really solid start #personal #fitness

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famewolf · 11 months

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honestly, I think I'm going to wait awhile longer to finish bg3. been working on allowing myself time and space to let my whims flow where they may, and I recognized I was getting stressed for not having finished it in a 'timely manner'

me shaking myself: it's a fucking game!! play it as much or as little as you want!!!

#[static]#it's because I've been in an Elder Scrolls mood but I was pushing myself to finish bg3 since I'm nearly to act 3 #and i dont like being rushed not even by myself lmao #i love the game and i love the story! but i know that if im feeling stressed about it im not gonna have a good time #whats that thing called when you feel pressured to do something so it makes you not want to do it? i have that #in other news tho ive been having a great time in ESO again #800+ hours in and there's always more to do lol #taking a break from bg3 is also me trying to deconstruct this constant 'you must be productive even in the things you enjoy' bullshit-#- that my brain is constantly doing. i want to bite and maul that part of my mind #ive been getting better at it in the last couple of years! especially this year #but it's still such a fucking struggle my friends aaaaaa

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toastsnaffler · 8 months

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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries

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warriorsatthedisco · 7 months

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Man I used to sympathize people with chronic illness, but now I can really empathize. This shit sucks and it has the worst snowball effect too.

#helped my friend with her art booth at a con this weekend and it wasn’t even like a ton of work but it fucking exhausted me so much #I think I pushed myself too far because I also got sick and now I feel like shit and I’m so so so tired #and of course this is with steroids. like the drug that gives you energy to do shit and I’m barely functioning at work #I’m going to up my dose to 30mg bc the doctor said I could. cause even at 20 I’m still getting crohns symptoms #nothing like picking up groceries and feeling sudden impending doom where you have to get to a toilet as soon as possible #and then being so tired from just picking up groceries that you don’t have energy to make food #so you just lay in bed but you can’t sleep because you’re in pain and it’s hard to breathe from this stupid cold #this cold shouldn’t be kicking my ass but of course my steroids are immunosuppressants so it’s like I have fucking Covid #(I don’t have Covid)#and then crying because even on the steroids I still have to follow this stupid miserable diet because apparently #my body just fucking hates all good food #including goddamn rice #RICE!#not to mention the fact that prednisone can make your vision bad and it’s been making it hard for me to read even with my glasses on #and the foot cramps. idk what that’s about but I’m drinking so much water and taking supplements #anyways. rant over. hope I can work tomorrow. I accidentally slept thru my alarm today and was an hour late #personal

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daz4i · 1 year

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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,

#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better #and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day #despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level #again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know #and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am #other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more #(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent #negative //#ask to tag #sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months #(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere #i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers #and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too #but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little #i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that

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hobisexually · 8 months

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why is January 2929293929 days long this year

#every day I wake up and . don’t want to #every day I have to drag myself to work and be entirely unhappy #and take every micro interaction as rejection #every day I think I have to push myself onto people in order to reach out and get what I want #but every time I’ve tried at work I don’t get it #and all my friends have a person that’s more important than me and I’m left behind #(the people I see every day or used to that is)#I attached so much of my value to work because it was the one thing I had a passion for #the one thing I could do #and now that’s gone and what the fuck do I have left #every day I sit at work and want to be so angry at everyone and I am but I’m also not and that’s what makes it worse #because I love them!!!!! I do!!!!!! but I get treated like SHIT #and everyone pretends it’s normal?#And then advises me to be More Forward in what I want?#when all I’ve been DOING is dragging myself out of comfort zones I have never been this uncomfortable ever and for WHAT #every day I’m in actual physical pain that MAYBE a surgery will be able to fix #every day I have to fight my piece of shit anxiety and seasonally depressed brain #every day I have to do physical therapy exercises or yoga or pelvic floor shit or mental therapy or whatEVER the fuck just to #find a sliver? of happiness somewhere?#And for WHAT #it hasn’t gotten me anywhere has it it hasn’t gotten me anything I wanted #tomorrow I’ll be able to look at the things I built and be happy about it again (maybe)#but today?#it’s a bad day #it’s such a BAD FUCKING DAY #I have cried every day since Sunday so far which is not normal for me I cry like five times a year usually #and my brain is screaming at me to isolate myself because at #least that way I’ll be safe from disappointing anyone #I hate when it’s a dark pit like this but what the fuck man #also the state of the goddamn world is. bad. and making me spiral worse and I just . 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

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pl4n · 6 months

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#my art #ive been so jsvgjsnsndjbdjks #just a big ol jumble of kahsjdbskdhi #and i wanna draw more but im so uninspired aahhaah #i kinda wanna do some studies or smth but ahhhh idk i also just wanna lie in bed when i can #i so tire #but being lazy and bored is also so exhausting haha it feeds itself #so yeah itd be good to try to push myself a bit in my free time to do smth kinda fun chill engaging #its crazy bc theres so much that i could be doing but i have such a hard time being self motivated...#so outside motivation like work or friends is the only reason i do literally anything #which sucks bc i have a lot of things id like to be able to do on my own but yeah. idk why its so hard to do things for myself #that being said if anyone sees this and wants to do lil drawing challenges or trades or smth together that might be niceee #im sort of painfully shy online haha tho im not so much irl #i think the thing abt it for me is the feeling of creating these lil digital footprints #like if i send a message or make a post its just preserved like that... forever.. actually i recently looked at emails from my childhood #and its really cool to see a slice of the past like that but still. idk why it bothers me tbh. i just never got used to it #memories fade and warp over time right? so it really feels like existing in the world and talking to people is just a passing moment #it doesnt really feel that way w the internet. as small and insignificant these small imprints might be #and im really just being neurotic but yeah. maybe i dont like the feeling of taking up space and slowly widening it with every little step #yea thats neurotic fr LOLL #anyways im really rambling away in these tags haha but if ima post this art anyway its such a good excuse to ramble into a void :D #and a good way to practice existing on the internet. im sure ill get used to it

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flower-studded-sake-dish · 8 months

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ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight

#been making an attempt to play more touhou lately #last year i had to accept finally that i’m not gonna feel satisfied spending my video game time playing competitive multiplayer games #and so filling that gap with learning to play beyond easy mode has me feeling more satisfied #and i think it’s easier for me to limit my time playing when it’s something like touhou where i can do a full run or two #with multiplayer games i’m just never satisfied and so it’s easy to continue playing #anyways once i beat IN i think i’m gonna try for UM or SA next #it’s also fun playing IN cuz like i play reimu in every game but the malice cannon gives me a reason not to #i just like the homing shots cuz i feel like i get more rewarded for dodging #it’s kinda a marisa-esque feeling tho because i just want to do as much damage as possible #i also played melee with a friend for a while this evening and feel like my falco is coming along well #getting myself to draw daily and practice my bass regularly and learn new things #just felt more satisfied with life the last 6 months and i think it shows?#there’s still down weeks but i’m still pushing myself more than i have since covid started #i think the daily workouts i’ve been doing for the last couple years are the like core for this #self-discipline is hard but i’m getting better at it every day #it plays touhou

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