#and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really đ
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Hi...if you don't mind, can I ask something from BNHA? What do you think are Midoriya and Bakugouâs greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Since what moment that you start shipping them? What are your fav (canon) BKDK moments? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....
I have waited two and a half years for someone to ask me this question. Iâll just go in order:
What do you think are Midoriya and Bakugouâs greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why?
Iâll start with their strengths.
I think Izukuâs greatest strength is his tenacity. He tried his hardest to achieve his dream despite everyone telling him he couldnât and he never gave up. That seems like a childish thing to admire, but I feel like reading him doing everything with everything he has, mad me a more determined person.
His other strength that I admire a lot, is his ability to forgive so easily. He tries to see the good in everyone no matter what theyâve done and I think thatâs a really admiral trait to have. Being forgiving is good for the soul, and itâs definitely a trait I do not possess.
As far as Katsukiâs strengths go, I think heâs just as tenacious as Izuku. Heâs determined to be the undisputed victor in everything he does and he succeeds nearly every time. He fights really hard a for what he wants like he needs it to survive.
Also, he was able to hold himself accountable for the way he treated Izuku. Itâs really hard for most adults to admit when theyâre wrong and apologize sincerely for it without somehow shifting blame somewhere, and this prideful teenage boy was able to full admit that he was wrong and begin to openly do right by the guy he wronged in front of his entire class. Not only did he apologize, he went beyond what would normally be expected and legitimately wanted to lift Izuku up and push him to be a better hero. He didnât just do it cuz he felt bad, he did it cuz he sincerely wanted the best for him.
Now, their weaknesses to me, parallel with their greatest strengths, so they canât really exist without the other.
Izukuâs kindness paired with his unwavering determination causes him to do whatever it takes to help someone. Even if it means nearly killing himself. A kid could drop their ball in the street, and heâd throw himself in front a truck in order to get the ball back. I think his greatest weakness is how little self worth he has. He already doesnât feel very deserving of what he has, considering it all a blessing instead of him working his ass off for it all. He feels like his life is less valuable than others, only seeing himself as nothing but a vessel for One for All instead of One for All choosing him because of the hero that he already was.
And then Katsukiâs biggest weakness is obviously his pride but also, I think itâs also Izuku⊠Iâm not just saying this cuz I ship them though, I feel like heâs legitimately stunted when Izukuâs not around. Like Izuku is willing to do anything for other people, even if it means dying, Katsuki is the same way, but for Izuku. He literally described Izuku almost being stabbed as being âon the brink of death.â And then he started crying like his whole world was falling apart when he found out Izuku was quirkless again. Just like Izuku needed to learn to win with a smile, Katsuki needed to learn to save with a smile, and heâs not able to do that without Izuku there, which i believe is why he wasnât doing good in the hero ranks. He can do a good job, but public opinion is still important and if he has a bad attitude cuz heâs cranky without Izuku competing with him, then itâs obvious why he wouldnât do too well.
Katsuki is also a major weakness for Izuku, being the reason AFO targeted him in the first place. Izuku loses all reasoning when something happens to Katsuki or if heâs in danger, and his self preservation goes from none to negative, the only reason heâs being somewhat careful is to make sure Katsuki turns out okay. But then when Katsuki was revived, Izukuâs self preservation went out the window oddly enough, but I think itâs mainly because his focus went back to Shigaraki, and like I said before, heâd do anything to help somebody, not caring what happens to himself.
AnywaysâŠ
What do you love about their dynamic?
Idk why but this feels like such a loaded questionâŠ
Their dynamic is like ten tropes rolled into one so itâs hard to pinpoint what my favorite part about their dynamic is, but if I had to choose, I would say itâs the way they always put each other first even when their relationship was bad.
They could literally not talk to each other or acknowledge each other for days at a time, and theyâd still be the first person on their minds. They just live in each others brains rent free and they always had each others backs when it counted. Like, Katsuki rescued Deku as early as the USJ arc, at a time he arguably felt the worst about him. Yet, he still helped him.
Or after he was kidnapped and he started to suspect Izuku and All Mights secret, he was angry and jealous and blaming himself for everything that happened to All Might, yet he still chose to confide in Izuku. Despite being pissed at him and actively fighting him.
And on the opposite end, Deku would be there for Katsuki despite the way he treated him. He literally told him to kill himself in chapter one, and Deku ended up saving his life just a few hours later. Heâd continuously call him amazing even when other people pointed out his angry behavior.
The way they treated each other in moments of crisis and the way they would talk about each other just never matched up. Katsuki could talk as much shit as he wanted, but that didnât change the fact that he never truly underestimated Izuku and that heâs always been the guy to step in when Izuku couldnât handle something on his own. And Izuku can praise him all he wanted and be as nonchalant as possible, but that doesnât change the fact that heâd avoid over stepping with Katsuki but heâd act like the world was ending when Katsuki would be wronged in some way. Theyâre weird about each other in words but then so obsessively loyal to each other in actions. I have no clue if Iâm making sense, itâs hard to put into coherent words.
Since what moment did you start shipping them?
I picked up the manga basically right after season 5 finished airing cuz I had just binge watched the whole thing and something just didnât feel right? It was the first time I was actually interested in what was going to happen next in a show, that I decided to look up the source material.
I started on chapter 257 and I had to just pause once I hit 285. Because Iâll admit, I was a hater. I was a hater who genuinely didnât understand why Katsuki would suddenly just put himself in harms way to save Deku like that. So I stopped reading and decided to start from chapter 1 and it all just started to click in my brain. If they were in the same situation in middle school where Deku was about to potentially get a lethal injury, Katsuki wouldâve done the same thing. Heâs never not valued Deku as a person, he just hated that Deku was better than him at something so important to his dream.
So I guess you could say it was Katsukiâs sacrifice that made me begin to ship them, but I think it was really just a pipeline to me re reading everything and slowly starting to realize how genuinely weird they were about each other from the start. Oh and when I got back to where I stopped and then read up to Katsukiâs apology, that really solidified it for me. I was hooked and I think the fbi agent in my phone saw me crying about it, because the next day my tiktok was flooded with bkdk fanart which just hooked me even more and lead me to tumblr.
Basically, me wanting to understand why Katsuki did what he did when the whole internet was telling me to hate him and his ship with Deku, unironically improved my reading/media comprehension. They made me start reading more and start paying attention to what I was actually consuming. I havenât just blindly watched anything since then, and now Iâm an annoying, opinionated bitch when it comes to most media.
Also, to put this more into perspective, I have really bad ADHD (and probably asd tbh, it runs in my family) and I hated to read as a teenager. I physically could not force myself to read something to the end, and it would actually give me headaches when I would try to read for more than like ten minutes at a time. But mha and my curiosity about Katsuki Bakugou specifically, interested me enough to binge read 350+ chapters (at the time I started) worth of manga as well as 6 light novels. And after that, I literally couldnât stop reading. Ew I think I just realized that bkdk lowkey changed my life ajdbdjdj thatâs embarrassing⊠moving onâŠ
What are your favorite BKDK moments?
Idk why but I think about that one scene from class a vs class b at least once a week. And no, not the one where BlackWhip manifested.
Itâs a manga only-ish scene after Monoma was like âwhat? Youâre gonna tell me Bakugou got character development?â And Kirishima says âyeah blah blah blah⊠itâs the first time weâve seen him put it all on the line for someone elseâŠâ and the camera pans to Izuku. In the anime, that pan got cut out for whatever reason, but it just plagues my mind because that quote can mean so many things, and the fact that the focus was switched to Deku from someone elseâs perspective, just puts so many thoughts in my brain.
Other than that, I think the scene after the war where Katsuki tries to find Deku in the hospital but gets stopped, is my second favorite. Itâs the first time we see him shamelessly worry about him. And then, this is weird, but the panels before his sacrifice where heâs just panicking for like two straight chapters and then has a flashback where he explains how he actually feels to All Might.
Katsukiâs death lies in fourth place, while I think the scene is beautiful, it happened on my birthday and literally ruined my weekend so I will forever be salty about that. And then I think DvK 1 and 2 are tied, I love just going back to read them to see what I missed.
Oh and of course, âfor the rest of our livesâ altered my brain chemistry.
Thereâs some light novel and TUM moments too, but I know their canonicity is questionable so I wonât go into that, especially since a lot of the new people in the fandom havenât really read those and I donât wanna spoil anything. All I can do is recommend them :)
You donât have to apologize for anything dnana! I love talking about them! If anyone should apologize, it should be me for this post being so long lmao
#Iâve had this blog for years and no one has asked me why I ship bkdk#I couldâve just said it without being asked but it wouldnât have felt as special#so thank you dnana for asking#I love talking about them#they take up so much space in my brain#bnha#bakudeku#bkdk#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#puff speaks#ask puff#puff answers
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I said I didn't want spoilers from the episode but of course I couldn't stay still and spoiled myself the scene with Jasonđđ»
â ïž SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EPISODEâ ïž
Okay so yes, I couldn't contain myself and looked at the sceneđ but I've only seen it from the moment we go to Goldreamz to sign the papers for Tasha until, of course, the end so now I want to say something about it. I liked the scene very much, Jason was really himself, it was as if he lowered his wall for a moment with us. Since the moment we were sitting on a chair in his office to the boat scene, he opened up to us and told us a bit about himself. Of course the main point was the one on the boat where he talked about his father. No need to say that it touched me on a personal level, me and him were LITERALLY on the same boat. I could understand him very well because I also don't have my dad anymore, the only difference is that he was luckier than me to have lived his father longer than me... And also the illness... Besides that, I loved the fact that his father loved the sea so much to the point to make it his job, his passion and wanted to do everything to save its inhabitants, it was very touching, I bet his father was a very good person. What saddened me was knowing how much Jason has felt lonely, I have a feeling he didn't have many friends if not no one and after his dad's passing I know how lonely one can feel. It touched me a lot even when he said his mom wanted his father to stop smoking and after his passing Jason went to steal his boat because it still smelled like his tobacco... He wanted to feel him again... And also, it was such a bummer to know his stepfather sold Jason's dad's boat, it felt like a stab in the heart... I also feel sad for him, not only our Candy but about that I also want to say this. She then apologized to Jason saying that if she knew she would have never asked him about his father and of course Jason told her to not be sorry and that it's not her fault. About this: don't feel too sad or sorry for asking, we have nothing against the people who ask us about it or when they say something not knowing about one's situation, it's really no one's fault so don't feel too bad about it. Anyway, yeah I really liked the fact that we could talk to Jason like normal people and not playing some kind of game between us, without teasing each other and all that. As I said before, Jason opened up to us, I really felt how sincere he was, he really doesn't seem the type to lie just for fun to give us a hard time or to mock us. He's more the reserved type of person, not a liar (not when talking to us at least). Ah also, our Candy at some point wondered how did he turn out like that and in that moment I thought "well, you know, things like that change you with time" and it made me think how Jason was actually, I know that she asks him directly, first asking how was he as a child but then instantly changing it to teenager. Who knows, maybe Jason was really different before but I guess we won't know much about it for now (maybe one day?). Yeah anyway I'm protracting it a bit so let's say the last thing. All in all, his scene was very nice and touching to the point that our Candy cried and Jason was sorry that he made her cry again. He was sincere, opening up to us and lowering his wall in front of us but then he went back to be his usual self by saying that for that night they have a truce but that from the next day everything would go back to normal. I also really liked the illustration and the way Jason looks at usđ« . That's it, I know I've written a lot and if you arrived at the end, thank you for reading all this, I really felt like sharing my thoughts on Jason, since the episode where we go to his office to work on our first project and while talking he said his father passed away when he was a teen, it was really like throwing a bomb that exploded and I felt that personally, then just yesterday (or the previous day) I searched on Google the meaning behind the type of tattoo that Jason has on his forearm just to discover that it means the person has lost a loved one to now having this intimate scene were he talks about it... It's a bit too much for međ„Č again, thank you for reading thisđđ»
#my candy love#mcl#my candy love new gen#mcl new gen#mclng#my candy love new gen jason#mcl new gen jason#mclng jason#jason mendal#amour sucre#amor doce#corazon de melon#dolce flirt#beemoov
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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality
#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh#like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good#but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees#the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support#and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well#like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people#maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (đ« ) i don't think it's gotten a#whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously#women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women#or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak#like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years#but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people#i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse#drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles#+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries#and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation#isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote#*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now#and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad#but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing#and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol
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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,
#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better#and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really đ#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day#despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time đ#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level#again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know#and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am#other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends đ#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more#(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end đ#vent#negative //#ask to tag#sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months#(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere#i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers#and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too#but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little#i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered đđđ and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that
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#anyways im still mad today but its not lingering in my head like it was yesterday#thank fucking god for that lmfao#the more i think about it the more i realize that theres really no reason to be that upset bc yeah it sucks to lose#someone so close to me like that but......she was not afraid to give me red flags even when we were in a good place#and tbh this felt like a huge neon sign screaming get out while you can#and if the other girls we were friends with want nothing to do with me after this i honestly really do not care#i didnt see them often anyways and the one is basically still a teenager who drove me nuts 95% of the time#and the other 2 dont get into drama at all so i doubt they feel any type of way about me considering neither of them are that kind of person#im more annoyed that she did this right before we had plans for one of the girls birthdays and i have a feeling thats not happening anymore#i keep wanting to ask if were still doing anything but i would actually rather die than see b so..........no thank you#even if they do say anything ive already made other plans for tomorrow so......oh well#i feel so much less insane when everyone says i didnt do anything and its scaring me that i keep thinking back to the time era she accused#me of saying shit during and im like ???? i dont remember saying that. did i say that?? did i say you shouldnt have had your kid and i just#dont remember??? did i say we hang out to escape him and i just dont remember???? and all i can think of is false memories and a situation#where someone else said those things to me in that same time period. anyways i dont know why anyone would remember that specific of wording#if it wasnt to just be used as ammo later. but i genuinely dont remember saying any of that shit esp not that recently?????#and b is ungodly great at gaslighting and she also takes shit at face value and doesnt seek further info if shes not doing okay#so im just.....yeah im taking this as my sign#and to eliza from february.....bitch did i say any of that because i do not fucking remember it#self
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Help, why do those gifs of geno in his blocky-ass suit look like they belong in a video retrospective abt a mediocre russian public school debate team? This is maybe too specific an association but ?!?!?! Heâs forgetting the term for âstrawmanâ and just saying âfuck youâ in english until a teacher catches on, he only joined the club to appease his mother, heâs wearing the same suit to every event and making off-color jokes about siberians until people forget he is one.
I confess I have no idea what this is talking about, haha :) I will agree though that the suit looks early 2000's.
#Please assume i know nothing about R*ussian culture or school or anything lol :)#I had one friend born in R*ussia in high school and sasha was....uhhh... Extreme#Speaking of debates sasha and our IB history teacher used to really get into it but in like a show off-y way?#I dunno it was a lot of yelling we were always on sasha's side bc Mr Keogh used to bait sasha for being R*ussian and nationalistic#I was intensely jealous of sasha because the whole group was the alternative but smart kids who were way cooler than i was and dressed bett#And had the insanely best taste in music and threw the best parties that i never got invited to#And yet somehow still got A's in all the same IB classes i took#They were the ones who would name drop bands or musicians and i'd have to quickly go home and google#We didnt have cell phones back then#I honestly dont remember if sasha was part of the obsessive debate team nerds there was definitely some overlap between the groups#I was absolutely not in debate that would have scared the shit out of me lmao#I was the kid who always got in trouble for not speaking up in class but still got A's because my essays were always flawless#Anyway i feel like geno is an example of how not all R*ussian teenagers magically knew how to dress well like sasha did just sayin#Also keep in mind this was 2004-2007 so teenage me's idea of dressing well was like an avril lavi*gne or good ch*arlotte music video
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Thereâs something I love love loveeee about Laios and how badly he wants to be cool.
Let me preface with this: in general, I believe the harder you try to be cool, the less cool you actually are. The less you care what people think about you, if youâre âcringeâ or âweirdâ, the more likely people will perceive you as confident and self-assured.
There are countless pieces of media where characters try to fit in with some group, change every part of themself to look/act like what theyâre âsupposedâ to be, and end up miserable, often realizing the people theyâre trying to impress arenât worth the trouble.
Iâve experienced this in my own life too! Sometimes when I go out I wear a rainbow propeller cap! Cause I think itâs funny and silly and!! I ALWAYS get compliments!! I donât wear it to be cool, I wear it because it makes me happy. And people overall have a positive reaction to it. itâs a huge contrast to when I was teenager and didnât really put as much of myself into my appearance/wardrobe, and barely left any kind of impression on people.
So anyway, letâs get into it.
Laios⊠heâs been hurt so badly by people. He resented humanity for it. And yet, he still yearns for the approval of others. He wants FRIENDS!!!! and was angry and frustrated to learn his perception of his relationship with Shuro was so drastically different than Shuroâs!!!!
He KNEW that people were put-off by his love of monsters. Up until Falin got eaten, he deliberately suppressed how much he talked about it with others. He probably thought by not talking about monsters so much, it was working!! He was doing all the Right Things now! So Shuro confessing he always hated him was a huge blow.
But the reality is, he loves monsters. And most importantly, he loves cool monsters. He fantasizes about what would make the Ultimate Monster.
He feels very strongly about what he considers âcoolâ as well. He finds all aspects of monsters fascinating, but can still be HORRIBLY underwhelmed when they look too lame for his tastes.
He knows most people donât feel the same way he does. He knows his âcoolâ is everyone elseâs âweirdâ. Itâs so tragically sweet how he latches onto Kabru the moment he shows interest in monsters, and takes every opportunity to infodump about them to him.
He wants people to find monsters as cool as he does!! But, he also wants people to think heâs as cool as he finds monsters.
Like!!! djkfghadkfjg IT DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER HIM WHEN PEOPLE HAVE A WRONG IMPRESSION OF HIM! He's FLATTERED by it. It's almost like, at this point, it doesn't matter to him if people don't like him. People can not like him and still think he's cool.
And my favorite thing is, it works. Laios IS cool as fuck. You KNOW he thought he looked so badass when he did this and he was RIGHT:
And yet, this is him trying very hard to look cool. But it's Laios's version of cool. It's almost contradictory, in that sense. Cause he knows people still don't get it. Like. He wants to be cool. He doesn't care about the "normal" ways to be cool. He thinks his cringe thing is cool. He does his cringe thing, that people very much do still think is cringe. So you would think that, since he wants people to think he's cool, he would not do the cringe thing. But he wore the pelt because he thought it was cool. And people clapped and cheered for him anyway.
is what he's doing really so different than this? ^
YAYYYYY WOOO GO LAIOS YOURE SO COOL!!!!!!!
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#long post#photos#laios touden#I LIKE HIM A LOT!!!!!! HES SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER!!!!!
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yall really thought i was done with monster reader? nuh uh. VAMPIRE READER WITH A SHY MONSTERFUCKER CHARACTER
a shy monsterfucker who didnât knew they were a monsterfucker yet, who didnât knew of the kinks they had yet to awaken in themselves, who only thought of themselves as vanilla meeting you for the first time and thinking that you feel not so human. donât get them wrong, there was nothing about you that was out of place. you looked human but you just⊠didnât really felt like it at times
maybe it was the way you sometimes yawned and your jaws opened just a little bit too wide. maybe it was the way you were able to see so damn well in the darkness, eyes sometimes nearly glowing until they shake their head and your eyes looked just fine. maybe it was the way they slowly noticed that you barely ate anything whenever you hung out together, merely ordering a black coffee with extra shots or asking for the black coffee to be made just a little bit thicker. maybe it was the way your smile stretched just a little bit too big to be normal, sharp fangs and canines glistening
either way, you didnât feel normal. you didnât feel entirely⊠human, to them. but they find themselves shrugging it off, still thinking of you as their friend and a close companion
it all gets thrown out when you go radio silent one day. no phone calls, no notifications, no messages or hell, letters. just silence. worried sick, they make their way over to your house, using the spare key you gifted them and stepping inside to a dark and messy home. blinds closed shut, home miserable and, were those claw tears in the back of the couch?
feeling their guts churning with the desire to run away, they call out your name under their breath, akin to a whisper. when receiving no response, they call out again, feeling like they want to run away as they think of their choices. only a one step deeper into your messy home and their vision was swimming, being slammed down onto the floor as something hisses above them before it trails off into a low laugh. dazed, they open their eyes to find⊠you. except, it wasnât really you. glowing slitted eyes, wide smile and a sense of danger
âfresh prey, walking straight into my grasp. must be my lucky dayâŠâ even your voice sounded weird, as if two people were talking at the same time. one, your normal voice and the other more high pitched. like how some creaturesâ voice becomes higher pitched to mimic others and lure prey into their grasp. like⊠a monster
they tried to flee, to talk sense into you, fear and desperation tugging at their heart as their words trail off into a terrified whimper when your jaws open just a little bit wider, slits appearing at the sides as a long forked tongue runs over knife like sharp fangs before closing again. this felt like a nightmare, something they never really thought of happening before. they could only look away, tears stinging in their eyes when your clawed, stretched fingers tear off a piece of their shirtâs neck area open, thinking that you will tear them apart like how you just did with their clothes just now
a shy monsterfucker who lets out a yelp when they feel a wet feeling on their neck, something long and wet slithering over the skin as if softening the flesh there. despite the fear churning their stomach, they couldnât help but whine out as their body suddenly started to feel hot. so needy and pathetically hard and wet in their pants like a hormonal teenager as they stare at your long tongue. even as you laugh at the flushed look on their face and make some demeaning remark, all they could do was stare
and to their own horror, they let out a fucking moan when your sharp fangs bite down on the same place you just licked at, head thrown back onto the floor as a loud plea for more falls from their lips. pleas of biting their neck more, tear their flesh apart with your fangs, clench down those strong jaws, absolutely ruin them to your own pleasure. they didnât get it, wasnât it supposed to hurt? at least, from all the movies and books, but no, it felt good. even as their blood gets drawn out and your canines dig into their flesh, tearing the skin apart, all they could do was moan out loud like a desperate harlot. mind muddled and body twisting to weakly hump at your knee between their legs, even as your jaws let go of their neck and licked the wounds close, they could only whimper at the loss of the feeling
the next morning, they woke up in your bed, surrounded in comfort and soft beddings. was⊠last night a dream? were they imagining it all? a wet dream?
their confused brain stops whirring question and theory after one another as the door to the room opens, you stepping in with a cup of steaming hot tea in your hand and a plate of some fruits cut into small pieces in the other. looking just fine and normal, no fangs, no blood, no strange slits at the corner of your mouths, no long slithering tongue, just a normal [name], albeit a tiny bit worried. so it was all just a wet dreamâŠ
since that day and that strangely realistic dream that the shy monsterfucker thought they had, it became a bit hard for them to look you in the eye and hold a normal conversation. they were fucking embarrassed, hell ashamed even, by their own thoughts that conjured up such image of you in their own sleep. they always knew you gave off an eerie, not-so-very-human vibes but even then, imagining you as a goddamn vampire who saw them as your prey was... a little bit too much. they didn't even found vampires attractive, but if you were to somehow magically turn into one, maybe they wouldn't mind it much. of being your bloodbag, your sweet prey, your willing sacrificial lamb that you toy and flaunt like a trophy pet
shy monsterfucker who gets too sexually frustrated easily ever since that one specific dream, always staring into your mouth whenever you're looking away and talking or laughing, hoping to see a glimpse of an unusually sharp fangs. who think they do indeed see something and immediately lets out a quiet whimper, thighs squishing and rubbing together as that one dream plays out in their mind again. who excuses themselves from the hang out earlier so they can go home under the guise of a "not feeling very good today", when in reality they would be touching themselves again that night, humping their pillows with pathetic broken moans of your name. sometimes, when feeling bolder, they would say the same pleads they did in their dream, asking you to bite them as they throw their heads back, neck free and pristine. if they shut their eyes tight and imagined hard enough, they could remember the phantom feeling of your slithered tongue running over their skin. humping at their pillow harder with a broken sob of your name as their body shakes, soiling their pillow case with their own cum again for the nth time in the last 2 days, changing it once more
they didn't get it, they usually had just a normal amount of sex drive, who barely got horny unless they were intoxicated or something. this newfound sexual frustration was weird to them. new and scary with the ways it left their body all hot and bothered just by looking at you. staring, waiting and gulping down saliva to wet their throat as their mind goes to the gutter. imagining your clawed hands trailing over their bare skin, maybe leave a few small cuts if you feel like it, hold over their hips a bit too tightly to leave a bruise, bite at their porcelain skin. would you make them your personal bloodbag if they acted good and begged hard enough?
shy monsterfucker who gets caught, mind too fuzzy with filthy thoughts as they moaned out your name into their pillows as you invite yourself inside their home with a bag of fresh fruits that you bought for them to get better, the spare key they gifted you in your hand. who didnât knew they were caught, thinking of it as simply one of their imaginations again as they see you standing on the doorway to their room, leaning on the doorframe with a low hum
âi knew i used too much calming saliva on youâ you say out loud, only getting a broken whimper of your name as their fingers curl inside their hole, tired and confused. vampires had a special aphrodisiac like mixture in their saliva that they used to calm their prey before feasting and to their bad luck, you have accidentally used an excessive amount when you drank from them few days ago
â[n-naameee]âĄïž ahck t-touch me! touch me, pleaseâĄïžâŠ?â they cried out, hearts swirling in their pupils, face flushed to the tips of their ears as they whined out deliriously with an open mouth. a sweet prey, right in your grasp. since you were the one to cause it, it would only be right to fix your mistakes right? cooing out words of faux comfort, you step over their sweat clung body, taking in the way they looked so out of it. all wet and hard, too dazed to even say your name properly
shy monsterfucker who immediately lets out a squeal when your fingers push into their hole, while their own fingers were inside too! please be gentle, at least let them get their own fingers out first? who only could let out a broken sob when they could feel how deep your fingers curled inside them, feeling the way your fingers stretched and fucked their pathetic hole open easily. they were nothing but just a weak sex toy for you, a meager little bunny whose legs twitched and shook every time the pads of your fingers jabbed at that bundle of nerves inside them, squeaking like the precious little thing they were
âbaahnâ! aangh ah haang buh-bite..?â they asked, teary eyes staring up at you with so much love and lust as their wet lashes flutter against their red cheeks. âb-bite meâĄïž..? aamh haah i... iâve been such a go-oodddâĄïžâĄïž good bloodbag for yoouuâ„ïž!!â they blabber on, arm wrapping around your shoulder as they try to pull you down to their neck. the bite mark of a few days earlier already gone and healed thanks to your healing saliva. you could just hear the thrumming of fresh red liquid from under their skin, heart beat loud and erratic like a war-drum, begging you to tear them apart
shy monsterfucker who lets out the loudest moan, breaking down into pathetic blabbers of gratitude and pleads for more as you gave in to the instincts to feed. back arching up from the bed so prettily, soft chest against your own, a rapid beating heart under their own skin that you could feel against your cold, still one. shy monsterfucker who lets out a filthy squeal, tightening around your fingers as they cum on your hand, soiling it as the tears that built up in their heart pupil eyes finally fall down
shy monsterfucker who begs for a kiss, asking for your lips to be against their own. who lets out a cute muffled sob when you do just as they asked, tasting the metallic taste of their own blood on your lips before something long slithers down their throat. long and wet with a thicker textured saliva coating it, being pushed into their mouth, forcing their jaws open as they choke of their own moan as you continue to torture that tender spot inside their tight hole. gagging as your tongue slithers down their throat, feeling the way their adamâs apple feels a little bit wider due to how deep you showed your tongue inside their mouth
shy monsterfucker who could only cum dry, into your hands, tired and body aching due to their constant actions to try and relieve their sexual frustration. mouth left open, swollen lips wet with your mixed salivas that connect your faces just a little bit longer as your forked tongue comes slithering back out. eyes all hazy, nearly shut close with how low lidded they were. you would have mistaken them for unconscious if it werenât for the weak whimper of a âmmghhâ! s-shoo goowdâ„ïž t-tongue... wanâ your tongue inside meeghâĄïžâĄïžâ as they weakly wiggled their hips
shy monsterfucker who watches as you seemingly easily manhandle their body so you could do as they nicely asked, their strong body meaning nothing to you. who watches with their hands on the pillows by their head, neck painted a saccharine red that you loved, lust heavy eyes staring at you as a few tears fall from them. who lets out a broken sob as they see the way your jaws open a bit too wide, slits appearing at the edges of your lips to make it easier for your long tongue to come out. like a snake, it licks at their inner thighs, bloodied fangs leaving cuts on the tender flesh there as their legs violently trembled in your grasp
shy monsterfucker who chokes on their moans, head getting thrown back as your tongue pushes past their tight walls, eagerly humping your face as much as their shaking body could allow, feeling the way your tongue reached deep inside them â more than any meager sex toys or dildos ever could, twisting their insides. wailing out âguhhckkâ„ïžâ„ïž! s-sho deEEHNGKâĄïž y-your tongueâ f-fuckinnh aanh nyahâ„ïž!! fuckinng my guts! aah ngaahââ„ïž!â as they felt the way your tongue moved back and forth inside their hole, claws digging into their legs and thighs to keep them in place, forcing them to keep their legs open. who blabbers drunkenly about their mind melting, mushing up their words as they slur your name before fucking squirting. shrill noise between a moan and a squeal falling from their swollen lips before losing consciousness
shy monsterfucker who will most definitely ask you to bite them again the next time they wake up
âš dan heng, yingxing, argenti, moze, bronya, firefly, gepard, robin, caelus, yukong, legolas, lindir, meludir, baizhu, charlotte, diluc, furina, ganyu, kaveh, nilou, kokomi, xiao, calcharo, jiyan, xiangli yao, rover, zhezi, shorekeeper, aerith, zack, angeal, tifa, vincent, sephiroth + anyone you think will fit, really
#nobu.writes#nobu.brainrots#sub character#sub!character#sub genshin#sub genshin impact#sub hsr#sub honkai star rail#sub!hsr#sub wuthering waves#sub wuwa#sub lotr#sub the hobbit#sub final fantasy#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin smut#wuwa smut#wuwa x reader#wuthering waves x reader#wuthering waves smut#hsr x reader#hsr smut#honkai star rail x reader#final fantasy x reader#lotr x reader#the hobbit x reader#dom reader#vampire reader
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Ex Bf Toji
Yes, you and Toji used to live together, but falling out, splitting up, breaking up, and any other phrase used to signify the separation of two lovers, typically means no contact, for however long. Toji did the moving and you stayed where you were for however long it took to feel okay with not seeing him every day.
He didn't cheat. Toji is many things, but he is not a cheater. He saw no reason to, just like he sees no reason to forget you.
He snuck three things of yours into his luggage, to really keep you with him, because you'll get them back at some point, anyway. He took one of your used shirts, an old photo of you and him, and a pair of your underwear. It'll take three days to get you backâhe's sure of it. He won't give all of these things back to you in one go, nor will the three days be consecutive. He's smarter than that. They'll be spaced out as he sees fit. When you least expect it, he'll call or text you to let you know about something that he "accidentally" brought with him.
Truthfully, he felt like an old, abandoned dog, the first few weeks that he spent apart from you. He constantly checked his phone, hoping to receive messages from you. He knew it was delusional for him to expect you to text and call, yet he still waited. He moped around his motel room, unsure of what to do, because you were the one who usually planned everything. You were the one who pulled him along with you everywhere, hand in hand. He never lacked excitement or interest around you and he felt safe, but two months later, as he sits on the bed in the same room with the most unnecessary and foul patterns, there's a gross feeling in his gut. Things are too quiet and he absolutely hates it. The silence gives him headaches sometimes and he devastatingly misses your chaos in those moments. He's stuck thinking about you, alone. He doesn't even feel like leaving his room to buy beer to make him feel less or enhance his emotionsâwhichever comes first.
You know he got it bad for you, when he preferred to use your underwear over and over to get himself off then let some other girl touch him. A third month passed and he still longed for your touch so damn much. He felt like a horny teenager with the way he treasured the garment he stole from you and touched himself to pictures and videos on his phone. Pictures and videos of you. Dirty ones that you would send him through messages, followed by innocent hearts and winky faces, as well as his own personal collection of ones he took.
He misses your smell, your tasteâgod, you were everything. How could things get so bad that you ended up apart from each other? He could really use your attention right about now. You don't even need to touch him, your company would suffice.
Your voice comes through the speaker of Toji's phone, his name moaned out shamelessly loud as you cum, your phone's camera capturing the whole thing for him. His heart drops to the depths of his stomach at the sound and he ruins the fabric of your pretty, blue panties, deep moans of your name flowing freely.
Toji is just as shameless as you in that video. He swipes off the old video of you and scrolls back down to the bottom of your conversation. It's a good thing you haven't blocked his number.
Hey, I accidentally brought these with me.
[Images Attached: 1]
I'm in my room if you wanna come get them.
He's the devil for keeping his cum stain out of the picture, because had it been in there... He's not sure you would have accepted to come get your missing pair of underwear.
I'm off in 20. Room 723, right?
You got it, doll.
You hate that you know where he's staying. You hate that you don't tell him to stop calling you doll, but most of all, you hate that temptation got the better of you. This will be the second time you go see him because he has something of yours.
The first time was a month ago, and it was about a shirt. One that you didn't even know you were missing until he texted you about it getting mixed with his stuff. You didn't reply because two months into your break up still felt too soon to be in contact with him, but he called. He called and kept calling until you answered, and every time he called, your heart would start racing at the sight of his name displayed on your screen.
Your first mistake was answering. His voice made you nervous, in a first date kind of way, the way it was so calm and steady while talking. It was like he was calling on his way home to you from a job. You did your best to be mature about it, but your nervousness shone through with every 'uh...' and 'sure, that should be fine' instead of 'yes'.
When you went to go see him, your stomach swarmed with butterflies at the sight of those dark, fern-colored eyes. You were so nervous and Toji picked up on it because of how you made it your job to speed up the process of retrieving your shirt.
He invited you into his room and your second mistake was accepting his invite. You felt strange being alone with him again. Anxious? No. Uncomfortable? Not that, either. More like homesick.
Toji didn't make it any easier with the gaze he had set on you. He observed your faceâyour eyes, your nose, your lips. He couldn't stop himself from continuing down the path to your body. Your neck, your chest, your waist, your hipsâall things he wanted to put his hands on. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and he could feel his heart thrashing in his chest. Having you so close was a rush. His adrenaline skyrocketed every time you looked into his eyes. He couldn't focus. He felt jittery. At some point, he couldn't take it anymore. With a final stuttered breath, he reached for you, and pulled you into him for a kiss. An aggressive one, that left you breathless and conveyed just how badly he needed you.
You didn't know what was going on, but the feeling was far from unfamiliar. The feelings brought on by this spontaneous gesture, you've felt them more times than you can remember, each time so special. It's the reason for why you struggled to push him away. You struggled to maintain the boundaries that worked to prevent this very thing from happening. You were long gone the moment he put his hands on youâ the moment he spun you towards his bed and laid you down. It was selfish on both ends. You were both lonely and touch deprived. It shouldn't have gone further than kissing and some over the clothes wandering of hands, but there was a clear deficit of self control, and because of it, your bodies familiarized themselves with one another, again.
You're now standing outside his door, there to pick up an old pair of underwear that you could have just asked him to throw out. You couldn't lie, part of you wanted to see him, just to make sure he's doing alright since the last time you were there. It's been a little over a month since then. Maybe he has a new girlfriend. Even if he doesn't, you don't want the situation to be misread. You're not together anymore and there's no chance of a reconciliation any time soon. It's just not meant to be, for now.
Toji opens the door and the butterflies start their fluttering in your guts all over again. You don't want to listen to them or your racing heart or the sudden throb you feel between your legs, but he's shirtless.
You clench your jaw to prevent yourself from drooling and remember that you're there for one thing only, and it's not for another fuck with your ex.
"You sure you still want them?" Toji asks, when the silence gets to be too much. He unfolds the blue material to reveal the creamy substance that litters the gusset.
"Uh... yeah, sure." You feel your face grow warm. "They'll be good again after a wash." You take them out of his hands and fold them back up before putting them in your bag.
He leans against the doorframe, eyeing you up and down. He's not being subtle, if he's even trying to be.
"I was thinking of you," he says, once again breaking the loud silence. "You know, when I got them dirty." He nods towards your bag.
"Oh. That's..." you stop mid sentence, unable to find a way to end it. "It's fine."
"Wanna come in? You hungry? Thirsty? Tired?"
"None of that. I should get going anyway. Still need to get groceries for the week." You do your best to avoid letting your eyes trail down his body and hope that he doesn't insist. It'll be so hard not to give in.
"I'm sure you have enough to last until tomorrow. One more day without a fully stocked fridge couldn't hurt."
You sigh. Why does he always have to make it so difficult to turn him down?
"A glass of water would be nice."
He hums, satisfied by your response. He takes a few steps into his room, allowing you to walk in. The second you shut the door, he's right behind you, his front flush against your back, pinning you to the door. He bombards you with his touch.
"Knew you'd come, mama. Fuck, I missed you." He's kissing your neck, pulling up your shirt to feel your soft skin beneath his rough palms.
"T-Toji, what are you doing? I'm not here for this." He ignores you and keeps kissing your skin. "We can't do this, again. Last time was..." He's stretching the collar of your shirt to expose your shoulder, where he presses more kisses. "I-It was the last time. We can't."
"We can," he counters, sliding his hand down the front of your pants and into your underwear. "I miss you, baby. Don't you miss me?" He purrs into your cheek.
A sharp gasp leaves you with a brush of his fingertips against your clit. Your hands go to the door to keep you stable.
"I'm not fucking anyone else. Are you?" He asks, watching your reactions to the languid motion of his fingers against your clit.
"Mm-mm," you hum, eyes shut as you shake your head against the door.
"Say it," he mutters, into your ear, pressing his lips against the spot beneath it. His free hand rides up your torso, going up towards your chest. It goes beneath your bra to grope at your breasts.
"Fuck, Toji... No, I'm not sleeping around."
"Yeah? That's good. I'm glad."
"You were an asshole," you say, your voice low. "I shouldn't even be l-letting you touch me." You feel like you're crumbling. You're trapped between him and the door, as well as stuck between pleasure and rationality.
"You know i'm sorry, and you're an angel for letting me touch you after so long. Don't run off so fast like you did last time." His lips go back to devouring the skin of your neck, littering it with marks that will make you think of this moment when you look in a mirror.
"F-Fuck, i'm gonna cum. Gonna-"
Your legs go wobbly and you press your hands more firmly against the door to try and hold yourself up. Toji's arm tightens around you, supporting you as he works you through the intensity of your orgasm. Your whimpers and moans are heaven sent. So sweet and entirely dedicated to him.
"Come on," he mumbles, pulling you up straight, onto your unsteady legs. He turns you around so that he can hoist you up by the backs of your thighs, and as if on instinct, you wrap around him. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, your legs around his waist. It's so strange to feel his warm, bare skin against you, again. Your face is buried into the crook of his neck, like when he would pick your sleeping body up from the couch and carry you to bed.
He sets you down and pulls your shoes off, throwing them somewhere in the room, carelessly. With impatient breaths, he's back on you again, kissing you, and feeling up the body he grew accustomed to holding, but was now deprived of.
"Fuck." He pauses. "Take it all off, baby." He presses chaste kisses onto your lips as he pushes your shirt up, further directing you to undress yourself.
You feel ridiculous for having followed his directions so unquestioningly, but there you are, naked for his eyes, hands, and mouth.
"What are you doing?" Toji asks, confused at the sight of you on your stomach, your face buried in the pillow.
You turn your head to the side, to not muffle your words. "I don't wanna look at you."
"Why's that?" He traces your spine with his fingers, lidded eyes following the invisible trail. "Don't tell me you're still feeling guilty over last time."
You shake your head, wordlessly. You have nothing simple and quick to respond with.
"I wanna look at your pretty face."
You shake your head, again, and he knows he's going to have to melt away your stubbornness. You're not like this. You know he doesn't fuck you like this, ever. It's the first unfamiliar thing to occur since you started talking and since you agreed to meet up and it doesn't sit well with him.
His hands start at your hips and ride up your waist, merging onto your back, going up towards your shoulder blades. He knows of your weakness for when he says things straight into your ear. He has confirmation of this from just a couple minutes ago, when he had you against the door. It brings out a range of emotions from you, but ultimately, it gets you to mellow down a little.
"Let me love on you properly, mama," he starts. Your heart races at the feeling of his breath against your ear. You're throbbing with every deep-voiced mumble and his weight on you again. "Wanna take care of you, pretty girl. Must be so tired after a long day, huh?"
You sigh, releasing some of the built up tension in your body and nod.
"Yeah... I know, doll. Let me make it better."
Just like old times. You miss those days when your schedules aligned and you got to meet at home once you both finished work. It was always a race to see who got there first, but there was never an actual winner when the first thing you would do was shower together. Toji went in before you every time to rinse off the nastier splotches that littered his skin and you joined in on his mark. All the weariness and tension melted away when the water ran down your bodies. These were moments where you were so in love with him. Time slowed down through pressurized squeezes of his rough hands on your weary, smaller muscles, and your softer hands on his more defined and prominent, yet, still aching ones. There were also those delirious, casual conversations that bounced between being so tired that you could sleep together through the rest of the day, but also being so hungry that you could eat a family pack dinner, together in one sitting.
That is why you don't want to look at him. All those memories will come back, again, at the sight of his handsome face. You miss him, too. Your love for him hasn't been completely disposed of, but there's a reason for why you're in his room and not your shared home. Your schedules were unaligned for too long. You barely ever saw each other. You only saw him for brief periods of time in the morning and at night and your days off didn't coincide with his. Date nights became a rarity. Maybe once every couple weeks, you would go out to a place with a peaceful and quiet atmosphere, so that you could get a few hours to remember that you still love each other. Suddenly, he has spare time and it's so hard to deny him when he wants to spend it with you.
"Baby, please," he says, following his words with a kiss to your temple. You let out a deep breath and take a second before you start wiggling under his weight. He scoots off of you and allows you to do what you need to do. Once you're on your back, he wastes no time crawling onto you, again, to begin his worshipping of you.
That warm feeling you used to get around him is slowly seeping back in with every kiss he plants on your face and your neck. The way his hands smoothly glide over your body strangely makes you think of more aggressive times, when he would be so impatient, handling you so swiftly, just wanting to mold his body into yours. The scratches and crescent indentations his blunt nails would leave on your skin from the intensity of it allâyou can't forget them.
He nears your soft, warm, blank chest. It's not like he didn't trust your word, but now he has visual evidence of how you weren't lying about not sleeping around. If things hadn't fallen apart between you and him, your chest would be littered with his fading marks on it. You're long due for a round of semi-permanent kisses.
His lips mouth at your chest, wet kisses being spread all over it. You instinctively let one of your hands come up to the back of his head, your fingers coursing through the dark locks of hair. He tries not to react so desperately to the feeling, but your touch is addicting. He doesn't want you to stop. No one has touched him like this since you and it really shows. Between the endless contact of his lips on your skin, layered with soft sighs and the constant caressing of your body, you can tell he's just grateful for being able to have you like this, again.
"You miss my chest?" You ask, acknowledging the amount of time he's spent on the area. He's been leaving marks left and right, between your breasts, on them and beneath them, too.
"All of you, not just your chest," Toji responds, before latching his lips onto one of your nipples. Your other one is handled by his fingers until he gives it a turn in his mouth, his fingers going to the one he just released. He loves being able to feel how your chest puffs and dips with every breath, and how it stutters with the swirling of his tongue over your buds.
"Toji," you call, breathily. Your hand lowers to the nape of his neck, meeting the tips of his hair that graze it.
He releases your breast with a quiet pop, pressing one more kiss to the glistening peak before tending to your call of his name.
"I know, doll. Feeling sensitive?" You nod, in response and he cracks a grin. "It has been a while... and I don't blame you, but you don't answer the phone enough." His kisses start, again, down your bodyâstarting between your breasts and traveling down your abdomen. His lips paint your stomach, unintentional heart resembling marks formed through short-lived stinging sensations. "Can't do this for you if you don't pick up the phone. Just for a few minutes," he purrs, kissing above your navel. His hands cup around your hips, his thumbs massaging the area while he trails his mouth even lower down your body. "And if you don't wanna hear my voice, just answer my messages, mama. It's so fucking simple to get me next to you."
You shudder when his breath fans over your pelvis. Goosebumps rise over your skin all over again and your heart drops when green, lust filled eyes hold your gaze, pinning you down. You squirm beneath his unwavering attention, losing the eye contact battle when his hand goes to your thigh. You see the faintest sign of a smug grin once his eyes refocus on your body.
"How'd you get this gnarly bruise?" He asks, lightly running his fingers over a purplish yellow splotch on the lower part of your outer thigh.
"I ran into the corner of a table. I was in a rush."
He hums, disapproving of your reason, but nonetheless leans forward to kiss it. It brings him back to when he would walk into a room right on time to catch you groaning in pain and flipping off the coffee table while muttering curses, after ramming your knee into the corner of it, or when you would open your mouth in a silent scream after knocking your elbow into something and hitting your funny bone. He really considered putting guards on all the corners in the house, because of the constant bruises he found on your pretty skin.
"You gotta be more careful, doll," he says, kissing the blemish once more before continuing up towards your inner thighs. "Can't have you wearing this pretty body down with so many bumps." His breath grazes the space between your thighs, again. His attention goes from your glistening cunt, to your unsteady chest, before landing on that needy expression on your face that makes his cock twitch.
"You look so pretty." He drags his fingertips through the wetness of your slit, watching the adorable way your stomach quivers at the contact. "So wet over the way I kiss you up," he says, hypnotized by the way your slick connects his fingers to you with every up and down gliding motion. "You're precious, ma. Look at that... You're drooling so much, already." He drags a knuckle through your slit.
"F-Fuck." You shudder beneath his teasing touch. "Please. Toji-" you cut yourself off with a moan when his mouth attaches itself to your throbbing clit and his middle finger slowly sinks into your slick hole. Your thighs twitch in Toji's hold, the pleasure intense with all the fresh stimulation offered by him.
"Sweet as ever," he murmurs, pulling his finger out of your now twitching hole, to suck your juices off. He watches your face contort as two fingers stretch you out, now. Whimpers and moans are released with every curl of his fingers and with his tongue going back to your clit, you can't help all the squirming you're doing. Toji knows your body as well as he knows his own. Those hips rolling against the mattress and your back arching is a sign of your quickly approaching release. The fact that it's happening so fast is endearing to him. You really haven't been touched in a while and he loves being the only one you've allowed to replenish your level of physical intimacy.
You don't even warn him when you cum. Your notice is a sharp gasp, followed by the sweetest moans he's ever heard. Your overload of wetness coated his fingers and dripped onto his palm. Toji watched through dark, lidded eyes, as your chest heaved and your brows pinched with pleasure. Your bitten up lips parted to release heavy breaths and whines of satisfaction. He stopped before the overstimulation could make its way to you, pulling his cum coated fingers out of you and lifting his mouth from your clit.
While he did enjoy being a little mean and overstimulating you back when you were a couple, he knew this was not a moment for that. He said he was going to love on you and he planned to follow through with that.
"Fuck." You sigh, extending your arms above your head, before stretching your body. You groan as your chest rises and your back arches before releasing the tension, a giggle homing into Toji's ears once you settle again. Within seconds, he's face to face with you again, his body invading the vacant space between your legs. His hands go to your wrists, crossing them above your head.
"What are you giggling about?" His nose is centimeters from bumping into yours.
You giggle even more at his proximity and the sly smirk that plays on his lips. "Mm... just came all over your fingers within like two minutes," you mumble.
"You did, huh?" He says, squeezing your wrists affectionately.
"Mhm," you hum.
"That still doesn't break the record," he adds.
"No... It doesn't." You say, through a laugh.
A tension-riddled silence follows, longing looks exchanged during the stillness of the moment. Toji uses his control to lean forward the rest of the way to kiss you. The kiss is soft and slow, despite the way he keeps your wrists pinned, a visual that shows your surrender to him.
He hums against your lips, breaking the lip lock with a quiet smack. "Can I put it in?" He asks, leaning back to see your response.
"Yeah, okay," you say, blushing, but nodding to double confirm.
He releases you so he can remove his boxers and finally release his aching cock from its confines. He's been hard this entire time, but your needs were put ahead of his because, like the last time, he initiated this.
Toji sighs, feeling his cock throb and twitch at the thought of being in your incomparably soft and warm walls, in just a few seconds. As he drags his tip along your slit, he can't help but think about how this would be the first time he has sex since you last let him touch you, a month ago. He might cum as quickly as you did, maybe even quicker.
He keeps a hand on your stomach, rubbing as an act of comfort, as his other hand guides his tip into your hole. He pushes in, keeping his focus on you as he slowly feeds his length into you.
"Fuck, doll. Doing so well. Almost there."
You never get used to the initial stretch. It's not unbearable and you know it's worth it, so you deal with the short amount of discomfort.
"Oh fuck, it's in," he says, mentally relieved that he didn't cum early. You both let out sighs.
After a couple minutes of getting comfortable and picking up a gentle pace, things were good. Quiet sounds of pleasure took over the room. This time isn't as aggressive as the time before. Last time, things happened in a flash. One moment you were just talking, the next you were being fucked incoherent, and before you knew it, you were getting dressed and leaving Toji's room with the most guilty feelings.
This wasn't that, at all. He wasn't slamming his hips into yours or pinching your waist between his hands. His thrusts were paced, like he wanted this to last a while, and he touched you with the gentleness of someone who, wholeheartedly, isn't over you. Someone who still holds an immense amount of love for you.
You're not faring any better, than him. You find yourself wanting to bring him closer. You truly want him all over you. The second you extend your arms towards Toji, he's leaning closer towards you so you can touch him. Your hands make contact with his shoulders and he gets immediate goosebumps. He's working to suppress the groan that's paired with the chills that run down his spine, when he looks at you from this proximity. You let your hands glide up to the nape of his neck and you pull him into you for a kiss. Your cunt flutters around him when his lips move against yours in synchrony, his hips continuing their languid pace. His kisses always leave you breathless, so you end up having to be the first to bail, when you can't compete with his lung capacity. He continues kissing your face, groans released into your cheek and jaw, while you gasp and whimper over his gentle precision.
"T-Toji... Toji- Fuck."
He hums into your neck, his lips brushing against it immediately after. "Miss you... so... fucking much," he pants. "Please..." his voice lowers, and his lips move towards your ear. "Please, baby."
His arms cage you in and you feel smothered by him, like you're drowning in him. He's all you know in this moment. His body, his voice, his touch, his smell. All you can do is feel as he thrusts into you, repeatedly reaching that part within you that renders you the most perfectly behaved angel for him. He can feel the way your chest jolts with every hitch of your breath. He can hear your stifled hiccups up close, as he murmurs needy words into your ear.
"You..." he pants, a subtle groan caught by your ears. "You heard me, right, pretty girl?" He presses a kiss to your earlobe, awaiting your response. You nod, a sultry hum being the only sound you manage to let out. You clench around him, briefly, but long enough for his hips to stutter. "Fuck..." he sighs, burying his face into your neck, again. His hips pick up their pace a little, luring a sharp gasp and a moan out of you. "I-I need you back with me. Miss you lots," he says, muffled by the delicate skin he nibbles on.
"I-I know. I know, Toji. You're not the only one."
"So fucking come back to me, already. What are you doing?"
"Gonna cum. I'm gonna cum," you blurt, writhing beneath him.
"Keep squeezing me like that and you're gonna make me cum," he grunts.
"T-Toji, please," you whimper, the sensation of your nearing orgasm growing stronger. "Toji," you cry out once more, before your wetness gushes out, coating his unrelenting cock.
"Shit," he hisses. He barely has time to watch you when he's on the verge of spewing into you with every clench of your velvety walls. A few seconds pass, and with stuttering hips, a tensed abdomen, and gritted out, breathy curses, he fills you up with his cum. Ragged breaths are released into the air, his chest rapidly rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. He pulls away from you, his eyes glued to you as you work on recomposing yourself.
You're lucent in his eyes. The layer of sweat that coats your neck brings attention to the harsh marks he left on your previously untraced skin. The prettiest blush remains on your face, and those slightly parted lips look so appetizing. The sight is hauntingly beautiful.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," you tease, feeling him still silently watching you.
He snickers. "You're gonna let me take a picture of you like this?"
"Nope. I was kidding," you say, smiling as you sit up. Toji catches you eyeing your pile of clothes and speaks up before you start reaching for it.
"Can you not get dressed, yet? Stay a little while, yeah?"
Your heart drops at the question. You tell yourself over and over that you won't be spending the night with him, in an attempt to convince yourself that after the worst that can be done with an ex has already been done, this is nothing to worry about. What's another hour spent lying next to him in his bed?
You thought that's all you would be doing together, but then you ended up showering together. His attempt to help you get cleaned up made you crave another round, which he happily indulged in. After that was when you finally lied in bed together and you really didn't want to leave by the end of it all. It was already nighttime and you had gotten so comfortable, almost forgetting that you weren't home with him. Everything smelled like Toji, even you. He kept you in his arms as you discussed the future of things between you two. A weight was lifted off his shoulders when you implied that there's still a chance.
You did decide to drive home that night and when you got there, you sat in your car, just thinking about what happened, for way too long.
The third and final day came a some weeks later. You got better at responding to Toji's messages and his phone calls. Things seemed like they were rekindling between you two.
Hey, can you come see me today?
I'm not in the mood for sex, if that's what you want me there for.
You know that's not the only reason I want you. Come over.
I won't touch you if you don't want me to.
Say something.
Respond.
Oh so you don't want me to get there safe? I'm. DRIVING.
Fuck, doll. Scaring me for nothing. Drive safe.
On the drive to his room, you thought about the conversations you've had with Toji on the phone, these past weeks. Some were short and straight to the point, while others didn't allow you to put your phone down for more than three minutes. His indirectness was usually the cause of longer conversations. He didn't want to seem overbearing, so instead of saying he missed you, he would ask if you had eaten. Instead of saying he missed spending leisurely time with you, he would let you know that that one cheesy movie you like is playing on one of the TV channels.
It was sweet until nighttime came and the messages started straying from innocent longing. Conversations where he was telling you about how much he missed sleeping next to you, turned into him saying that he couldn't sleep because he wasn't holding your chest and smelling your hair. Minutes later when your phone rang, you panicked. You wanted to hear his voice, but you knew better than to try and hold an innocent conversation with him when the messages that preceded the call weren't innocent. You let the phone ring for a few seconds, but the second you heard him, you felt so many things. His voice was so deep and he sounded tired and your heart was beating way too fast. You were feeling things that contradicted everything that made you hesitant to answer his call. With every word he spoke, your mind flooded with sinful thoughts that made the space between your legs viciously throb. Maybe you were glad he was feeling this way from the start, because his voice, his words, and the sounds he made alike, all ended up getting you there.
Muscle memory got you to Toji. You were zoned out the entire time, remembering those texts between you and him, that had you giggling to yourself like when you first started dating. You were in shock when you turned into the parking lot, realizing that your mind was so occupied with Toji, that the drive seemed shorter. You walked right up to the door with the, now familiar, bold 723 on it. A few seconds went by before the door opened. Toji held the door open for you shutting it when you made it into his room.
The first thing you noticed was that he had tidied up quite a bit. It almost seemed like he had just arrived to the room, no clothes on the floor or empty food containers on the counters, but his bed wasn't made and his drawers had unfolded clothes hanging out of them. He's been like this since you lived together. It's just a habit that refuses to die.
"You made a copy of this photo?" You ask, picking up the picture frame that rests on his nightstand. You both looked annoyed in the picture. The photographer kept pestering you to get your picture taken on your date and you had politely declined so many times, but he kept insisting, so you and Toji decided to just get it over with. The photographer said 'smile', and he laughed nervously when you both kept a straight face. He gave up and snapped the picture like that.
"Nah, that's the original. It followed me here, like your clothes."
You snicker, eyes still focused on the way Toji put his arm around you in the picture. "Clothes seem a little more reasonable to haul along by accident, but this was in a box I keep hidden on the top shelf of the closet."
"It's not really hidden if I found it so easily."
"People who don't snoop around wouldn't find it as quickly."
His hands go to his pockets. The urge he feels to hug you from behind to look at the picture with you, is heavy. "It's not snooping if we used to share the closet. When I was packing my stuff, I tried not to leave anything behind, so of course I was gonna check every crevice of the house."
You put the picture down and turned to look at him.
"That was pretty selfish of you. Taking my things, but not leaving a scrap of yours behind."
"Yeah? That was selfish of me?" He grins. "You wanted me to leave something behind?"
"At least a button or... I don't know, one of your sweaters."
"A button or a sweater." He hums like he's in thought. "That's a big jump, doll." He sits down on the edge of his bed with a sigh, a small lump of his blanket flattened by his weight.
"We made a big jump, Toji. One minute we were doing stupid shit like that." Your hand aims towards the picture of you and him. "The next..." you take a deep breath and your brows pinch slightly. You don't want to get emotional. Just thinking about crying in front of him makes you anxious.
His eyes soften, slightly. The mood has shifted and you're tense. It's not how he thought this would go, but he's going to try and make it better anyway. This is it. You have to reconcile by the end of the day.
He pats the spot next to him on the bed, successfully bringing you closer, even if you were off from where he wanted you.
"What we did was hard," you start, again. "You think I didn't miss you as soon as you left home? Or that I was living happily without you, when I didn't answer your messages or calls?" You shake your head. You're trying to hold back your more distracting emotions, but your eyes are starting to feel watery. "No. My head hurt for so long, I didn't want to see anybody, and the worst part was that I couldn't stop thinking of you. It was the epitome of a crushing break up... and I needed you, but I wasn't sure if you would be around. It's what tore us apart in the first place."
Silence fills the room. You feel dumb for spilling your heart out like that. You fold your hands in your lap and hope Toji has something to say in response to your word vomit. Anything, at this point, to slaughter the increasingly, discomforting stillness in the room that is making you want to cry even more.
"I didn't know you missed me, 'til you started meeting me here." He turns his head to look at you. You're still looking down at your lap, fidgeting with your folded hands.
"Yeah, that's not something you say to someone who just became your ex. It would have made things harder on us."
There's another gap of silence while Toji calculates his words. Watching you continue your anxious mannerisms always made him nervous before. It's no different now.
"What if I said I have time for you, now?" He keeps his eyes on you, hoping to see a glint of light in your expression. "Things can go back to the way they were before."
"That sounds good and all, but will things stay that way when we start getting comfortable again? Say... a month from now?" He immediately nods in response. "How about three months from now? My days off are always gonna be the same, and yours-"
"I'll mute Shiu on your days off. No jobs on those days."
You look at him, unfolding your hands. You're not as nervous anymore, now that the talking is back and forth. "You always make exceptions. You've done it before, Toji, and I just don't want to feel second to your work, again. It's the only thing I kept myself out of when it came to you, because I know how... abnormal it is, and look where that got us."
"Listen, i'm serious about making time for you. I've been doing pretty good so far, don't you think?"
He has been. Otherwise you'd be spending your day off cleaning your place and figuring out what to make for your dinner for one. You were off the day before, too, and he called you halfway through the day, on his way back to his room.
"Yeah. I guess you are doing a lot better," you admit.
"Good enough to give it another go?"
You're the one who goes quiet this time, uncertainty coursing through your mind. You really want things to work, but it's scary. Words and these little check ins are all you can go off of, for now. You don't know how it'll be if you officially get back together.
You nod. "I think so. It's been a few months, now. Things do seem better."
He slowly released the breath he held in after asking the question. "Really? You mean that?"
"I do." You give him a soft smile that he feels he hasn't seen in so long. He can feel his heart accelerating, like a kid being returned their favorite toy after being grounded.
"Can you show me you mean it?"
"How?"
"You're sitting so far from me. Come closer," he says, patting his thigh.
"What?" You laugh. He has to be joking. You're literally two feet away from him.
"Come on. Sit with me."
He doesn't seem to be letting go of this, so you scoot even closer to him. With the assistance of his hands on your hips, he uses them as leverage to lift you onto his lap, to bring you as close to him as he can. He looks you straight in the eyes, his green ones so brilliant and warm, you would think he's about to profess his love for you for the first time.
"You got me. What is it, Toji?" You're blushing due to the gesture, a reaction that makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside.
In one swift movement, his face is buried in your chest, his bulky arms lowered to wrap around your waist. Your eyes slightly widen at the spontaneity of the gesture, instantly softening when he starts talking.
"I felt like I was going insane, mama. I didn't wanna go." He pauses, the warm scent of your perfume working to calm him down. The back of your shirt is tightly wound around his hands. You can feel cool air against the slivers of exposed skinâa contrast to the warmth of his breath on your chestâbut you hold him close. "Let me come home or stay here, just don't stray from me."
The mood shifted, again. He felt small and vulnerable, but he needed you to understand that he had feelings about leaving, too. Had things gone the way he planned them in his head, he wouldn't be uttering his sentiments into your chest. You would be watching a movie together, while cuddling and kissing, and overall, making up for the deep affection that was missed during this period of separation, but you have a strange way of making him want to be entirely honest with you.
You cover him up while he clears his mind. This is between you and him. Nothing else matters when it's Toji rambling on about how you've ruined solitary life for him. He can't do it anymore and you're entirely to blame, because you put him on to your hugs and kisses, and you tell him all the things he needs to hear and sleeping is entirely possible with you. He's addicted to you, and it's not hurting anyone, so he can't find a reason to give you up.
You sat in that position for a few minutes. Silence returned, but instead of it being awkward and uncomfortable, it was entirely welcomed. Toji was so comfortable. He could have fallen asleep like that, but you shifted in his lap and pulled him out of his idle state. He was entirely at ease when he lifted his gaze to look at you. Your expression was gentle on his eyes, unspoken forgiveness so clear.
"Come home, tomorrow. No, today. I was thinking about how you're not packed and you still have things scattered. I can help you get it all-"
He cuts off your rambling with a kiss, then another, and then one more. "Nah, i'll come back for my things, tomorrow. I just wanna go home with you, ma."
#toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#toji x reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#toji smut#fushiguro toji#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro x you#jjk x y/n#jjk fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#toji fluff
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#gonna talk about body image for a sec so donât read if you donât want to#but i so desperately need to leave behind the idea that i can get back to the body i had when i was 19#like girl that is never going to happen because you are not 19 anymore#my frame will never be that narrow again because iâm no longer a teenager and now iâm in my 20s and thatâs literally just how it works#i have this shirt that i bought when i was 19 and i just saw a pic of myself wearing it back then and iâm wearing it rn#and it still fits me perfectly well but it fits in such a different way than it did when i was 19 and thatâs normal!!#i weigh the exact same thing as i did back then but my body shape is different now and i need to stop telling myself i can go back#because i canât and thatâs normal and itâs okay!!!!!!!#i donât even hate what i look like now like most days iâm pleased with how i look and iâm happy with my body so idk#why i even have this thought#i guess iâm just mourning the past and who i was and probably how 2020 took everything from me because that just seems to be rooted in#everything i do lately#sigh#if you read all of this iâm so sorry shfhdjsjdjdhdb#i just feel like making putting this somewhere will help me move past it
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HELP ME HELP YOU â àŒâ§âË.
ft. dick grayson !
ê° SYNOPSIS ê± : poison ivy has been flying under the radar and weaponizing her pollen to fellow criminals. itâs a shame you and dick find out the hard way.
ê° CONTENTS ê± : MDNI. f!reader. dub-con bc of sex pollen (theyâve both been pining for each other tho), dry humping, slight exhibitionism, unprotected sex, oral (f + m receiving, 69, face sitting), cum eating, multiple orgasms, missionary, mating press, cowgirl, pet names (baby, pretty), praise, creampies, mentions of breeding, light impact play (slaps your thigh once), begging, mentions of sweat and saliva, slight overstimulation, almost pure smut tbh itâs just filth â WC : 6.1k
ê° NOTES ê± : mind the tags !! iâve been wanting to write a sex pollen fic for so long iâm so excited i finally did it ! enjoy !!
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! (*áŽÍËŹáŽÍ)á°*.ïŸ
another drizzly night in gotham, filled with blaring police sirens and a heavy dose of crime. patrol was going as planned for the most part. apprehending a few criminals here and there, but nothing major. to dick, it was a semi-quiet night. one that left him reflecting on his life or rather, his recent choices.
truth be told, he had missed gotham. even though it wasnât in a much better state when he had left, a large part of him knew he belonged here. bludhaven had been a good experience for him to try and break away, start his own thing. but when it came down to it, he missed it here. missed the people here, some more than others.
dick eventually got a tip from tim, stating that there were a couple of criminals causing a scene a few blocks down the road. he made it there quickly, only to run into you.
normally, it wasnât a rare sight to see you out on patrol at the same time as him, but lately, itâs been harder to be around you. he knew he was developing feelings for you, no, he already had feelings for you. but it was all so confusing. the two of you had been friends for so long, since you were teenagers.
but then he left and you stayed. even though heâs been back for about a month, it still feels like he doesnt get to see enough of you. and when heâs finally around you, he just doesnât know how to act anymore.Â
âand here i thought youâd never show up, nightwing.â you tease, getting ready to apprehend the criminals that were trying to make their next move. he easily side stepped to get into a closer range to them, ready to bring them down with you. but truthfully, a large part of his focus wasnât on them at all.
âyou know i can never resist.â he smirks. the two of you start fighting off the criminals, landing quick, steady punches.Â
âresist showing off, you mean.â you scoff, swinging your fist around, lodging it in one of the criminals' sides.
âouch,â dick takes out one of his batons, twirling it around in his hand before using it against one of the enemies. âand here i was going to help you out of the goodness of my heart, my mistake.â
the two of you move in sync, your fighting styles mimicking each other as you attempt to take down the criminals. even though itâs been awhile, the two of you mesh well together just like old times.
âwhy donât you sit back and watch how itâs done, boy wonder.â you drop down, palm hitting the pavement as you dodge an incoming attack. you use the momentum to sweep your feet under the apprehender, knocking him on his back.Â
âi mustâve struck a nerve for you to use that nickname on me.â he smirked, trying to see how far he can crawl under your skin. the criminals were still trying to fight you both, but it was a cakewalk for him. heâd rather just stand around and tease you all night if he could.
âyouâre always on my nerves.â you huff, pushing a villain off of you, watching them hobble backwards before you ready for another attack.
âgotta get your attention somehow, donât i?â he hit one of the criminals in the gut, trying to swiftly take him down.
before you can retort, you hear something clink to the floor near dick before gas starts to surround it. you both pause, attention shifting on the strange device. the criminals use the momentary lapse to their advantage.
âthatâll keep them busy for awhile.â one of the criminals snicker as they make their escape. you take a step towards them but dick holds you back, his hand gripping onto you.
something felt like it was crawling up his spine, a heat that grew more the longer he touched you.Â
âwhat are you doing?â you question him, ripping your arm from his hold. but then he realized, not touching you sent spikes of pain throughout his body, yearning for some sort of relief that he didnât know how to get.
he tries to shake it off to focus on the task at hand, pressing against his ear piece, trying to contact tim.
ânightwing.â tim greets as he presses the button. dick crouches down to look at the device the criminals threw, your eyes tracking his movements with curiosity. âreport?â
âlooks like the criminals threw a toxin at us, iâm not sure what it is but it let out a puff of gas when it hit the ground. judging by the design of it iâd say,â dick pauses, eyes widening as he flips it over in the palm of his hand. a small, green plant painted onto the side of the device. âivy.â
âalright, report back to the batcave. thereâs been rumors that sheâs been weaponizing her special pollen so we will have an antidote ready. did anyone else get hit? or are you alone?â tim replies, typing away on his keyboard.
dick looks over at you, holding your gaze for a moment. his mouth feels dry, words lodged in his throat as his body shivers. he tells tim heâs with you.
âdick, whatever you do, do not give into any urges, okay? christ, i didnât know sheâd be out on patrol too, she wasnât even scheduled.â the frustration in his voice is tinged with anxiety and panic, knowing fully well the extent of getting hit by ivyâs pollen. âboth of you get back here immediately. signing off.â
âaffirmative.â dick nods, letting tim break the line for now. his eyes hadnât left yours and he watched as you back up towards the wall behind you. he mirrors your movements, his thoughts growing hazier by the second. his more primal urges start to fight logic, a new battle unfolding in his mind.
he holds onto the wall, planting his back firmly against it as his hands form a fist. the sensation is back again, prickling under his skin like an itch he canât scratch. itâs driving him mad, sweat starting to coat his body. everything was hot, searing. any self control he had was quickly slipping through his fingers, his heart racing out of his chest.Â
even looking at you seems to make it worse, so he keeps his head against the wall, looking up at the dark sky as he tries to find the strength to move. he needs a plan, something to grasp and ground him to reality before he throws caution to the wind and takes you right here in this alleyway.
so he decides he just⊠wonât give in. thatâs it, heâll stay on this side of the wall while you stay on the other and then you go back to the cave and get the antidote. perfect.
âdickie.â or well, it wouldâve been. his attention reluctantly goes over to you as you use his nickname, eyes burning trying to keep them on your face. but the way your voice sounded, the lilt of desperation packed into it had him curious. his eyes trail down your body, watching the way your chest heaves up and down, your thighs clenching together.
âyeah?â he swallows, eyes averting to the ground, his fingers curling deeper into his fist until heâs sure his nails are about to break the skin.Â
âit hurts.â you all but whimper and his resolve cracks in half. it was always his dream to be your hero, to be someone you look up to and respect. being your knight in shining armor and eventually wooing you over one day. with the way your voice sounded, he needed to save you, do anything to make you feel better. seeing you in pain like this clawed at his heart, leaving his chest wide open. âplease, i donât know what to do.â
heâs never seen you look so helpless. youâve always had an air of confidence about you whenever you put on your suit. you took being a hero seriously, one of the many things he admired about you. but this? heâs never seen you like this. and it stirred something within him.
he swallows thickly, trying to grab control of his thoughts once again, gripping onto logic even though the pollen was directly challenging it. one by one, another decent thought slips out of his hold and is instantly replaced with one that was much more improper. the kind of thoughts heâs tried his best to repress, especially when it comes to you.
âi know.â he says, timâs word of caution fleeting from his mind. pressing himself off against the wall, he bounds over to you, finding himself directly in front of you, his palm pressed against the wall by your head. you gasp and it takes every last bit of him to not devour your sweet sounds. âfuck, we have to get back to the cave.â
your eyes flutter shut as his words breathe across your face, the raspy tone from his voice luring you in.Â
âplease.â you say again, the words barely above a whisper.
the rubber band snaps and the tension breaks, your bodies surging towards each other, clicking into place as your lips finally collide. the pollen saturating every nerve in your body, an overwhelming tsunami threatening to consume you and take him down with you.
but he wasnât faring any better. his hands were shaking with need, his movements clumsy, not because they werenât practiced, but because he had never needed anything more in his life.
he kisses you with a bruising force he usually reserves for when he fights, unable to hold himself back as the pollen dances throughout his veins chanting more, more, more.
visions invade his mind, betraying all the walls heâs so carefully put in place over the years. the amount of times heâs dreamed of having you, the amount of times heâs fisted his cock to the thought of you, was all coming to a burning point. if he didnât have you now, it felt like his body would disintegrate.Â
a groan rips from his throat, rumbling against your lips as he tries to devour you. his hands roam all over your body, almost kneading against every part of you to get a proper feel. but it wasnât enough.
âhave to feel you, please- need you closer.â he manages to choke out, his plump lips swollen with your passion, his dark blue eyes blown all the way out into a dark, stormy abyss. with a small nod of your head, heâs pushing you against the wall, slipping his thigh between your legs. he grinds against your hips, seeking out any sort of relief while also trying to provide you some.
the kiss is hardly graceful â teeth clashing against each other, trying to consume the other. thereâs no fight for dominance, no careful hesitance, just pure unabridged desperation. he feels you reach for your mask, already trying to take off anything that serves as a barrier between you and him.
âf-fuck, wait, keep your mask on. we canât-â he didnât finish the sentence as you rolled your hips against him instead, body jerking in his hold. somehow the gravity of the situation rings in his head for a moment. âshit, wait, we should talk about this, right?â
âweâre just helping each other out,â you gasp, kissing along his jaw. your fingers dig into his biceps, voice straining as you try to keep yourself together for a moment. âit hurts so much, i canât stand it. help me and iâll help you.â
âcanât say no to that logic.â he picks you up, pressing you against the wall as he presses his aching cock to your core. the relief it brought had his eyes rolling to the back of his head, gripping onto you tighter as his body reacts in a way itâs never done before.
he grinds against your clothed cunt, the fabric of your suits making it easier to hurriedly slide against each other. he wishes he could feel how tightly youâd wrap around him instead of this but he needed release now, and this was the quickest way to get it.
and youâre just as bad as him, bucking your hips against him to gain any sort of friction, your hands pawing all over his body.
âplease-â you whine in his ear, âstop teasing me, let me feel you.â your body felt on fire, something crackling just beneath the surface. the friction you were getting wasnât enough, giving you pleasure but you also craved more.
âc-canât.â he gasps, moving his hips faster as he feels a high coming on. âmâclose.â
it was all building up deep within him, pleasure fighting pain and hurtling him towards the unknown. but he knew it would help, god, he knew anything with you would save him somehow.
his aching cock was still pressed up against the tight suit he had on, throbbing and pulsing as if it was trying to make its great escape. but the sound of your moan brought him back to the moment, the sweet mewl tumbling out of your lips as you reach your high. it sends him over the edge, cumming in his suit, hips stuttering against yours.
after a moment to catch your breath, you look at each other. the pain and fire are still as strong as ever, in fact, it might even be worse now. he needs to be inside you, feeling your warm walls hold onto him as he releases load after load deep within you.
âwe need to-.â he pauses, breath hitching as you start rubbing against him again. the words die in his throat, no longer thinking of the batcave and the antidote.Â
âi need more, please we canât stop here.â you whine, looking up at him. whatever you were doing felt so good, feeding into the unstoppable desire that ignited in him.Â
âwe need to find somewhere to go.â he decides, holding onto you tightly.
âthereâs a safehouse close by.â you suggest and suddenly it was like a veil was lifted. the fog cleared, and all he could see was you. your unfocused eyes, the way you pawed at him, he knew exactly what to do.
âi know the one, letâs go.â he grabs your hand, practically running down the street with you dragging behind him. but you manage to keep up with him. heâs relieved that no one is really out here, even though the night life was never tame in gotham, he considered it a small blessing that the streets were somewhat quiet tonight.
the safehouse was nestled in between a slew of apartments. he easily grabbed the key from under the mat and shoved the door open, the hinges yelling in protest. he all but pushes you inside, slamming the door shut and sealing you both in.
your body hits the door as soon as he closes it, his brute strength easily manhandling you into any position he wants. you were more than ready for it, wrapping your legs around his waist as your heels dig into his perfect ass, pulling him closer.
he groans as you roll your hips against his, trying to get closer to his straining cock. depravity takes over as you're practically humping against each other, shimming out of your suits. some part of you had to still be touching him â your lips, your hands, anything.
finally, youâre both freed of your restricting clothing, ripping it down just enough so he could gain better access to you, barely caring that he was shredding your hero suit. but it didnât seem like you minded either as your nails raked against his chest.
âyou ready for me?â he fists his aching cock, throbbing and glistening with his cum. the tip was so red, you wondered if he was in any pain â or if it matched the same one you felt in between your thighs.Â
âhurry, need you to-â you didnât get a chance to finish your sentence.Â
dick slipped into you with one rough shove, filling you all the way up in one delicious motion. you gasp, throwing your head back into the door at the sudden intrusion, your back arching off of the wooden panel.
âsorry, baby.â his arm slips around your waist, his palm spreading along your back for support. âsâokay, youâre okay, yeah?â
he doesnât move for a moment to try to let you adjust, his body practically screaming at him for waiting. but he felt so weak for you, couldnât help but start rocking his hips. it didnât take long for his urges to take over.Â
his hands pushed down onto your waist, steadying himself so he could get deeper. the only thought that crossed his mind was how good you felt, how well you took him â and it only made him more determined to make you fall apart just like you were making him.
why had he waited so long to make a move? he couldâve done this sooner, years ago. it pissed him off, frustrated heâs gone so long without knowing how good your cunt felt wrapped around his cock. the anger only intensifies his thrusts, the door rattling behind you in protest.
âs-slow down!â you cry out, not really thinking of what you were saying. the last thing you wanted was for him to slow down, but everything felt so fast, so overwhelming that your brain couldnât keep up with it.
âthatâs not what you really want.â he grunts out, lips latching onto your neck. he needed to leave little marks on you. a reminder for him that this is really happening, that this is real. heâs finally fucking you. âyouâre so tight, you feel so good fâme.â
âall for you, only for you.â you start to babble, drunk off the sensation heâs feeding you. your legs wrap tighter around his waist, driving him deeper than he already was. his pace stutters for a second, his release already sneaking up on him. âah- mâalready close!â
âme too, baby.â he breathes, his voice raspier than youâve ever heard it. âplease let me cum inside, need to fill you up and breed this pretty pussy.â
you clench around his words, nodding your head profusely, body tightening as electricity shoots through your body as you cum around his cock. your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues to thrust into you, desperately chasing his own release.
âyes, yes, need it, please!â you moan, practically milking his cock. once you give him the okay, he drives as deep as he can and lets out a broken moan as he fills you up.
âshit.â he grunts out, his breathing far out of his control. he lowers you down, letting you land on your feet. but you can hardly stand, his grip tight on your elbows to keep you upright. the two of you just stare at each other for a moment, trying to process what just happened, whatâs currently happening. intense need swarms his mind again and pain spreads throughout his body with every passing second he isnât inside of you.
instinctively, you drop to your knees, your hand lightly grasping around his slick base. dick lets out a hiss of pleasure, tossing his head back as he feels the slight essence of reprieve.Â
âneed you in my mouth,â you look up at him, slowly pumping his cock. he twitches in your hand with interest, the sex pollen still sending his body into overdrive. he doesnât even feel overstimulation, all he feels is lust and the overwhelming need to wreck you.
âgo ahead, baby.â you wrap your lips around his cock, hollowing out your cheeks as you get right to work. his eyes roll back and he needs to grip onto the back of your head for support â otherwise heâd fall backwards. âdamn, knew youâd be good at this, always running your sweet little mouth whenever youâre around me. feels like heaven.â
you hum in approval, the sensation tickling his tip. you take him in deeper, your hands grabbing onto his ass for support.
âfuck, baby.â he mutters under his breath. normally, you probably wouldnât have heard it, but the pollen heightened all of your senses when it came to him. his voice sounded so raspy, so desperate, it had you squeezing your thighs together. âplease donât tease me right now or iâll fuck you against the wall again.â
so you donât, swallowing his whole length, your pretty eyes filling up with tears as you look up at him. he feels like heâs going to pass out â his head is fuzzy, his thighs are trembling, you have him under your spell and a primitive part of him is screaming at him to fix it.
âiâm gonna cum.â he moans, gripping your hair. he almost lets himself, but it wouldnât feel fair. he needed you to cum with him. the two of you were in this together. he pushes you off of him, regret already swarming his body as the pollen viciously attacks him again.
âwhatâs wrong?â you ask, wiping the spit that was pooling in the corner of your mouth. he picked you up, bringing you over to the couch.
âi have to taste you.â he tosses you on the couch, âso youâre gonna sit on my face.â
the way he said it doesnât leave any room for argument so for once, you listen to him. watching as he sits next to you on the couch. your bodies pivot so heâs laying down instead of you, an eager smile on his face.Â
you climb on top of him, going to move your hips over his eagerly awaiting mouth. but heâs impatient, the need to taste you on his tongue is too great. hastily grabbing your hips, he pulls you down on his face. you yelp in surprise, nails digging into his abs to ground yourself. he doesnât waste a second, diving into the delicious meal youâve presented him.
even without you touching him, he started to feel his own relief by swirling his tongue around your clit. his hips thrust in the air, unable to control himself. your moans and small gasps of pleasure fuel him to keep going, not planning on stopping until heâs gotten his fill.
he groans into your cunt as you start to take his leaking cock in your warm hands, focusing on his tip. you lean over his body as he holds you firmly in place so you can pull him back in your mouth, engulfing him in an instant.
his hips involuntary jerks up, pushing himself deeper and eliciting a gag from you. he would feel bad but with the way you gushed around his tongue told him otherwise.
âgod, you taste incredible.â he mumbles, making sure heâs not missing a drop. but honestly, itâs too much. your slick mixed with his cum has his mind spiraling â the taste settling on his tongue, nestling deep into his senses.
it was all a haze, trying to devour every drop of you, gripping onto your thighs so tightly that if he was thinking more clearly, he might feel bad. but the way your tongue wraps around his cock, your throat enveloping it all the way down, leaves him with very little coherent thoughts.
but he couldnât stop lapping at your cunt, every tremble, every moan, every taste of you has him wanting more and he knew that this wouldnât be enough â it might never be enough. youâve created an insatiable beast that only craves your touch.
âdick, iâm gonna cum-.â you take a gulp of air, using your hand to furiously pump his cock, fingers dancing around his tip as you usher out your words. a flare of pride spikes up with him and shoots throughout his body, his hand getting away from him as he encouragingly slaps against your thigh.
âplease, baby. come all over my face.â he knows he sounds wrecked but he doesnât care. he gets back to work, suckling on your clit more intently than before. your mewls vibrate along his length and he canât help but thrust into your mouth a little, overly excited at the prospect of you releasing all over him.Â
he helps you ride his face, guiding your movements by his grip on your thighs. with a cry of his name, you cum again, gushing all over him. at this point, he could die a happy man, cleaning you up as your thighs shake in his palms.
heâs not sure if it was your skilled mouth, your messy cunt, or the fact he managed to pull that strong of an orgasm from you â but he came in your hand that was still rubbing at his tip.
âf-fuuuuuck.â he moans out, hips jerking in your hold. after a few minutes, he feels you slide off of his face, pivoting yourself and sitting on the couch, head hanging off the back of it.
it had to be over, right? all of the pollen should be out of your systems. he sat up and mirrored your movements, looking over at you to see how you were faring. and you were already looking over at him, half lidded eyes as you were catching your breath. your skin was glistening in sweat, much like his own.
the itch creeped up his neck, sending chills over his body. it definitely wasnât done and the agony of not touching you anymore was starting to get to his head. he lunges over to you, pinning you on the couch as he lines up his cock once again.
âgod, i need to have you.â he breathes, searching your eyes to see if you feel as messed up as he does.
âyouâve got me.â you mewl before looking up and adding, âyouâve always had me.â
âreally?â disbelief coats his words, somehow managing to pause his motions even though his body is screaming at him. the fire inside of him is licking at the tightly wound coil within him, but somehow heâs able to push it down â even if itâs just for a moment. but he needs to hear this, needs to hear you.
âiâve-â you start squirming under him, no doubt feeling that same fire he did. he almost felt a little bad by delaying your gratification but god, he really needs this. he canât tell if the tears forming in your eyes are from the pollen or from the emotion thatâs been building up after all these years. âiâve always loved you dick.â
his hormones fly out of control, his hold tightening against you. every nerve in his body tells him to move but heâs somehow frozen, transfixed on your confession.Â
âi love you so much.â he manages to choke out, desire boiling in his gut once again, fueled by the sweet words heâs been dying to hear from you. it was too much, the overwhelming itch consuming him once again as âfuck, âm sorry, need to-.â
he doesnât finish the sentence, instead heâs plunging into your warm, welcoming walls. fitting together like a puzzle piece that was always destined to connect. the pollen swirls with the love shared between you two and he canât help but ruthlessly drive into you, relishing in your sharp cries of pleasure. Â
his cock slips out of you, exasperated groans both leaving your lips and into each others mouth. he reluctantly pulls apart from you, shoving himself back where he belongs before he resumes his pace.
âdick, more-.â
something shatters within him. he couldnât say it was self control â that had long been gone. but something else deep within him broke by your hands and yet, he could already feel you mending it back up.
thereâs no way to tell the passage of time, but none of that mattered to him anyway. all he could do was revel in the warmth of your soft, silken walls. his eyes scan over your face, taking in your blissed out state no doubt mirroring his own.
it had him wanting â craving more. like a man starved who had his first bite, who wouldnât be sated until he had his fill.
dickâs movements were even faster now that his body could hardly keep up. his cock slipped out of you again, and he let out a strangled sob.
everything was just so wet, both of your bodies coated in a mixture of sweat, spit and cum. he felt your slick coat his thighs, your saliva mark his neck â every inch of his skin is completely covered by your essence.
he drives himself back into you, humping against you as he chases another release. everything was burning up the longer he staved off. at this point, he needed to keep filling you up. you made it so easy for him too, greedily sucking him back in every thrust, squeezing around him so tightly his head was spinning.
driven by pure instinct, he pushes your thighs against your chest, pushing himself deeper into you.Â
âwanna take my time with you sâbadly.â he rasps out, hands pushing against your legs. âbut you just feel sâgood i canât stop.â
his mouth hung open as unsteady breaths left his lungs, trying to gulp up any air he could. but heâd much rather breathe in the sight below him, watching you sprawled out for him, sucking him into your pretty cunt has his mind short circuiting.
âyou take me so well, youâre so good to me.â he babbles, eyes squeezed shut for a moment to soak it all in. âyou were made fâme.â
his head falls forward and he feels a bead of sweat drop down the side of his face. your trained eye watched it fall, before you lean up and lick it clean off of him. he gasps in surprise, lips chasing yours once again. Â
at this point, you really couldnât call it kissing. your lips were pressed against each other but neither of you could move them properly. just unsteady breaths and moans keeping the two of you connected as pleasure overrides your senses.
arousal pours like gasoline beneath his abdomen, your pleas serving as a match to ignite his body into flames. the pollen warps his mind, drunk on your taste and only craving more of it.Â
but he needed you to cum first. he was still trying his best to help you, to relieve you of any pain. he doesnât know how long itâll take but he needs you to at least cum as much as he does.Â
âoh god, oh, itâs never, fuck, felt like this before, so good-â you moan out, arching your back up so he can get deeper.Â
âi know baby, i know.â he keeps going, harder than he had before. âyouâre so, so good to me.â
it was all too much for you, clinging onto him as he relentlessly thrusts into you. he watches as your body freezes in his grasp, bliss saturating all your features, before you forcefully come around his cock.
he wasnât much further behind, gripping the back of the couch and pushing his hips flush against yours as he fills you up once again.Â
the pollen was still tingling in his system, he could feel it. but he felt so drowsy, and he knew you were too. he presses his forehead against yours as your legs fall helplessly by his sides.
âyou okay?â he can hardly recognize his own voice.
âmhm, you?â you ask, your eyes fluttering shut for a second. he sees your face constrict with pain and he knows you feel what he feels. itâs not over yet.
âcan you handle another round?â he asks, gently caressing your cheek, wiping off what was either sweat or tears. it took so much not to jump you, but the desire was starting to lessen and becoming easier to control, but that didnât change the fact he was still so damn weak around you. one more round would soothe it all, he can feel it.
âcan you?â you laugh breathlessly, always trying to challenge him. a lazy smirk takes up his face as he adjusts you, sitting back against the couch and pulling you up into his lap. his fingers rub little circles along your hips before he digs his fingers in.
âsince youâre so confident, why donât you show me how itâs done.â he meant to sound cocky, but his voice came out twisted with need and desperation.
âwith pleasure.â you grab a hold of his still hard cock, lining it up with your sopping entrance, cum from the previous rounds dripping down your thigh. he canât help but swipe some on his finger, playing with the slightly sticky substance.
you slide down on his cock, moaning the entire way down. all he can do is look up at you, unconsciously sliding the two coated fingers in your open mouth.
you swirl your tongue around them, sucking them clean as well as you were sucking him off earlier. he moans, head hitting the back of the couch as you start rolling your hips.
âyouâre so pretty â fuck â i mean, just look at you.â he slurs, eyes glued to where you were connected. his fingers leave your mouth, sliding down your body. âyouâre the most beautiful person iâve ever seen.â
your nails dig into his shoulders, using it as leverage to grind yourself more in his lap, his neatly trimmed pubic hair brushing along your swollen clit.
he slumps back a bit, letting you take control and take what you need. mesmerized by the way your tits jiggle with each movement, he wraps his tongue around your nipple before giving it a sloppy, open mouthed kiss.
he was lazy with his movements, swirling his tongue around the perked bud and nuzzling his face against it. the more he touches them, the more he needs to.Â
your hips drag along his, bodies pressed together as it feels like lead fills your bones. but you canât stop moving against him.
âwant you to be mine.â he moans against your tits, thrusting up into you more as he feels himself getting close. all he needs to hear is your confirmation that youâll finally be his. âsay youâll be mine.âÂ
âmâyours!â your cry out at the increase of pace, fingers digging into his hair as he leaves his mark all over your breasts. âiâm all yours.â
with one final groan, his hips jerk up a few times, releasing another load into your already overflowing cunt. the grip on your hips loosen as his forehead lands on your shoulder, wincing as you keep going to chase your release. overstimulation was starting to creep up on him as the pollen started to clear out of his system. but he didnât care, heâd keep going as long as you need him to.
âcâmon baby.â he slurs, leaving open mouthed kisses along your collarbone before looking up at you like you summon the sun every morning, beaconing it with your radiant, blissed out smile. âyouâre doing sâgood for me, give me another one câmon.â
âcant, iâm trying but i need more.â you move your hips a little faster with a whine of his name tumbling from your lips.
âiâm right here, fuck baby, let go fâme. youâll feel so much better i promise.â his fingers slip in between your bodies, thumb pressing firmly against your clit as you keep riding him. it sends you over the edge, gripping onto his shoulders and tossing your head back. heâs never seen a more ethereal view and if he couldâve, he wouldâve cum all over again at the sight alone.
he doesnât move his thumb as you ride out your high, squirming around in his lap as pleasure courses throughout your body. he lets go after you start twitching in his grasp, showing you mercy for the first time tonight.
you collapse into a heap on his chest, your heart racing as you try to catch your breath. he feels you curl into him, exhaustion starting to take you. heâs still nestled inside of you, with no desire to move.Â
he blinks a few times, starting to take in his surroundings. you guys definitely messed up the couch. anyone who passes through this safehouse will see the traces you two left behind for weeks to come. the thought makes him smirk a little bit.
his phone buzzes and somewhere deep in his fucked out mind he realizes he should check. heâs still technically on patrol. with one arm still securing tucked around you, he uses the other to grab his phone.
everything is a little blurry, the fog still clouding his mind, his eyes drooping as he tries to read it. your soft snores start to fill his ears as he opens the text from tim, reading the line over and over a few times in hopes of processing it better. but then he gets it â clear as day. it was from tim.
âlet me guess. you stopped at a safehouse.â
another text.
âhave fun explaining this one to bruce.â
taglist : @the-tenth-shadow @petriquors @boogiebooboo @lucifersidepiece @oikawabi-sabi @collin-thegreat á°
#âË. âïž â daydreams.#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#dick grayson#dick grayson smut#dick grayson x reader smut#nightwing smut#nightwing x you#dick grayson x you#titans x reader#titans smut
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pretty voice ! á„«áĄ
pairing: matt sturniolo x popstar! reader
word count: 1.7k
summary: youâre a singer and your tour has made its way to boston where your boyfriend and his brothers attend your show. matt is sure to let you know how well you did after the show
warnings: smut duhhhh, unprotected sex (donât be silly wrap his willy!!), p in v, throat fucking, dumbification, dacryphilia, stomach bulge, swearing, creampie, use of ây/nâ, probably more that i canât think of! :)
authors note: fair warning, this is my first time publishing smut, so donât have insanely high expectations! iâve written it before but never shared so keep that in mind. however, i can assure you this isnât completely horrible and i did my best to make it seem realistic but hot at the same time :) hope ya like it!
you had been counting down the days until your sold out world tour made its way to boston, massachusetts. your boyfriend, matt, and his brothers were set to attend the show which made you feel slightly uneasy.
the triplets have never seen you perform live, which is what makes this show so special. you wanted matt to know you were good at what you do. so, you paced around your dressing room doing vocal warmups and eating tablespoons of honey to help your throat.
a stage worker knocked on your door twice before coming in and attaching your mic pack to the back of your dress. tonight, you wore a black strapless mini dress from versace that had hearts of many colors scattered across. you paired this with knee high black boots, which your friends referred to as your âstripper shoesâ. you fixed your hair, spraying some dry shampoo on your roots and mentally said a prayer before walking out of the dressing room.
you received your cue to enter the stage, walking up 4 steps before you were greeted with hundreds of screaming teenage girls. you forgot about needing to impress matt.
that was, until, you locked eyes with him. he was standing on the second floor of the venue, the balcony, resting against the railing. watching you so intently, mouthing the lyrics to your songs. nick was singing along to all the songs he knew, while chris just knew the popular songs. but matt knew almost all of your songs. he was your biggest fan. and you were his. most times, you would be spotted attending the tripletâs shows when your schedules aligned. youâd stand backstage, just barely out of the crowds sight. all decked out in blue attire to support your boy, and even the things the rest of the world couldnât see were blue, too. but matt got to see them after the show. your blue bra and matching blue panties; it drove matt crazy how he got to see you like that after the show, especially if he was the one winning that night.
the show came to an end and you said your goodbyes to the boston crowd, exiting the stage. you walked into a lounge area where the triplets were, along with members of your team. you were swarmed with the usual compliments: âyou sounded so goodâ or âyou look greatâ and you were grateful for them, but tonight they didnât matter. the only person whoâs input you cared about was matt.
he approached you, draping his arms around your neck and you wrapped yours around his waist. he whispered in your ear, âyou did so good. âm so proud of you.â
you blushed at this, pulling away from the hug. âthanks,â you gushed.
since your next show wasnât until saturday, you had two days to kill here in boston. you were going to stay with the triplets until you had to get back on your tour bus and depart from matt, so you had to make it count.
matt drove you all home, you took chrisâ place in the passenger seat, still in your performance outfit. the drive home was filled with conversation about the concert; what their favorite part was, what songs they liked, etc. and while you were a decently known singer, you never felt famous. until now. matt made you feel famous, like you are on top of the world. you have everything youâve ever wanted; friends that support you, a successful singing career, and a hot boyfriend. what more could a girl ask for?
you walked through the door barefoot, matt holding your unusually heavy boots. he sets them on the floor by the door as you make a run for the couch, laying down and sighing. while it may be just a simple couch, it feels pretty damn good after wearing âstripper shoesâ and prancing around on a stage for an hour and a half.
nick and chris go to their own rooms, knowing you and matt need alone time after not seeing each other for a couple weeks. matt joins you on the couch, he lifts your head up and places it on his lap. his legs were your pillow and the only thing missing was a blanket, still in your tiny dress.
âyou cold?â he asks, almost as if he can your mind.
you smile, âhowâd you know?â
he reaches to his side and grabs a big blue blanket and tosses it over you, itâs big enough that it covers your whole body.
matt lightly strokes your hair as you lay there in the comfortable silence.
the way your head rests is so close to his dick and he canât help it if it slowly is getting harder, which it is. you tease him, nuzzling your head deeper into his lap, a.k.a. his dick, which causes him to speak up.
âthe fuck are you doing?â he laughs.
you play it off, âjust getting comfy!â
âyeah, comfy my ass.â he rolls his eyes playfully.
you press a small kiss to his clothed bulge, heâs wearing baggy jeans and his dick still stands out. he sighs, not complaining.
âyou gonna do this right here? in the living room?â he questions.
âmhm..â you hummed. he helped you unbutton his jeans, his black calvin kleins peaking out through the zipper of his jeans. he pulled his boxers down, revealing his dick. he was packing a very pleasant 8 inches that wasnât too shabby in girth either.
you licked the tip first, then you licked from shaft to tip. matt closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the couch. he placed his hands on the back of your head, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail.
âvoice sounded so good tonight, y/n,â he breathed. âbet it would still sound good if i fucked your throat.â
he pushes your head down all the way to his pelvis, feeling you gag against his cock. he thrusts into your mouth, the wet sounds like music to his ears.
as he fucked your throat, you felt tears forming in your eyes. you hollowed out your cheeks and looked up at him with doe eyes, laying on your stomach on the couch. you admired the way his eyes fluttered shut everytime he hit the back of your throat, how heâd let out small breathy moans.
âfuck,â he whispers, pulling away. he pulls his boxers down farther so his thighs are exposed. you climb on top of hip and he rolls your tight dress up to your waist, pulling your panties to the side.
âeasy access, huh?â he remarks.
you whine, âput it in alreadyâŠâ
his dick enters you and he wastes no time slamming you down on it, his hands firmly gripping your hips. âwant it so bad, yeah? you want it so bad?â he taunts, lifting you up and slamming you back down fast.
you are shocked with the speed he did that, not able to form a full sentence. âi- uhm- mhm,â you mumble.
âuse that pretty voice of yours, y/n. such a pretty voice⊠let me hear it,â he rasped.
you bounced on his dick, the couch shaking. âmmmmm, i love your dick so much,â you moaned.
matt smirked, âthereâs that pretty voice. so, so pretty.â he continued helping you bounce on his dick, his tip repeatedly hitting your g-spot.
he pulled the top of your dress down, revealing your bra-less tits. now your dress was basically like a belt, just covering your waist. your boobs bounced perfectly in front of his face, he was mesmerized.
you brought your hands up to his hair, running your fingers through it and pulling it when heâd hit your g-spot.
you let out a moan that was almost melodic, matt moaning after. âlove hearing you moan on my dick.â he spoke. he gripped your hips tighter, slamming you down harder onto his dick every time.
âiâm gonna- oh god!â you whined.
âdo it.â matt instructed. âcum for me.â
you nodded, babbling incoherently as you came undone on top of him. his right hand left your hip and found itâs way to your clit, rubbing you through the orgasm.
âfucked ya dumb, huh? damn,â he said.
you hummed in response, and once your orgasm passed you started bouncing again, desperate for more.
matt turned you around and pushed you onto the couch, in missionary now. now he can pound into you way easier, which is what youâre trying to ask for but youâre unable to speak.
âiâ ohââ you try.
matt smirks, âwords, baby.â
this fucker, you thought. there are no thoughts inside your head other than how good his dick feels inside you, thereâs no way you can speak.
âoh god⊠so, umph,â you sobbed as he thrusted into you with an insane amount of force. âso good,â
his thumb found its way to your clit again, rubbing it fast. your eyes rolled back as another orgasm approaches you.
âuhhh- uhââ you babble. your brain is mush at this point, you donât notice the bulge in your stomach. but matt does, as his hand leaves your clit and presses on the bulge his dick makes in your tummy with every thrust.
âlook at that,â he says proudly. you squirm beneath him, cumming yet for the second time.
his thrusts donât slow down, and neither do the tears running down your pink cheeks.
âcan i cum inside you?â he asks as if you can even answer him. you let out a bunch of moans in response.
you let out a bunch of moans, âiâm gonna take that as a yes.â matt groans before thrusting into you once more. you lay on the couch with your dress still pulled over your pussy and your breasts pulled out.
matt stands up and pulls his boxers and pants up. he plants a kiss on your forehead before he picks you up and carries you to his room. he lays you down in his bed, his silk bedsheets feeling good on your overheated skin.
youâre exhausted, you feel like you melt into his bed. youâre on the verge of sleep but youâre startled when you hear either chris or nickâs bedroom door open.
you lift your head up, and matt opens the door to see what is going on. matt laughs and closes the door.
âwhatâs he doing?â you ask sleepily.
ânicks wiping the couch down,â matt giggles.
you hear nick through the walls, âiâm gonna fucking cry. never do that shit again.â he whines.
#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets smut#smut#matthew sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo x reader#how tf do i even tag this
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The Pact
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: Seeing you yearn for a relationship and dejected over the lack of one, Luke Castellan proposes a dating pact. Little did you know, he was going to do more than just wait until the day the pact could happen (friends-to-lovers, fluff, pining, a lot of longing, lowkey jealous luke).
Note: Sort of inspired by Monica and Chandler's pact thing from Friends.
Word count: 3.4k
You were spending some time alone near the lake, trying to enjoy mid summer sunlight as well as the silence from the lack of campers and couples around. For some strange reason, the number of people dating at least tripled in the last three weeks. If you were honest, the sight of happy couples was starting to irritate you.
Your eyes glided through the lines in the novel you were reading, though you could barely get past a few pages before a degree of bitterness seeped through. You set the book down and sighed. Your head leaned against the tree behind you while shutting your eyes and furrowing your eyebrows.Â
Oh, if only someone could love you the same way love was portrayed in books.
Before the scowl could grow permanent on your face, you felt light finger tips setting on the crease between your eyebrows. Instead of getting scared, you remained calm. You knew immediately who it was because there was only one person who would do that. The person sat down next to you and you turned to see them already smiling at you.Â
To most, Luke Castellan was just the Hermes cabin counselor and best swordsman. But to you, he was a close friend and confidante. He has made it a habit to press softly against your scrunched eyebrows to prevent you from scowling further. It was somewhat sweet to you.
âWhatâs got you so bothered?â Luke asked, peering at you while tilting his head in a boyish manner. The look alone somehow made you blush. There was no denying that Luke was cute. You knew at least a handful of people at camp who would agree. It honestly surprised you that he was still single. Though you were somewhat relieved at that. For about a year now, you have had a little crush on the Hermes cabin counselor. It was not hard falling for his kind words and sweet actions.
âThis is going to sound so stupidâŠâ You let out a deep sigh.
âOh, come on, since when have I judged you for being stupid?â
âOh, so you do admit Iâm stupid sometimes?â
âYes, but is that really a problem, considering I find it endearing?â You hope he did not see the way your face heated up at his words.Â
Little did you know, Luke did notice it, just like he has always noticed little details about you. Knowing he was the reason behind your pink-tinted cheeks filled his heart with joy. In fact, throughout the last year, it got to the point where he would grow very bold with his flirty jokes, disguising his feelings in between them. Honestly, he was surprised you had not caught up to the truth yet.Â
âOkay, well, so many people have gotten together lately, and itâs got me a little bit annoyed.â
âWhy?â Luke questioned.
âBecause, I want that experience, you know? The teenage love thing. We already have a strange life, fighting creatures and going on quests that could kill us. I just want to at least experience an aspect of a normal teenage life,â you watched him nod and digest your words. âI didnât want it, want it. But seeing everybody else experiencing it makes me wonder when it will be my turn, you know?â You sighed before adding, âTo make matters worse, it seems like nobody is interested in me that way, soâŠâ
Luke almost let out a chuckle of disbelief at your last remark. Oh, many Demigods found you cute. But if only you knew to look right under your nose. He has always been here. If only you could see him how he wanted you to and give him a chance.
Ever since the day Luke Castellan met you, he became a dreamer. During the night, every dream would be of you, while in the morning, heâd daydream of you until he would see you next. You filled in every thought, walking in his mind like it was your home. But even if it wasnât your place, heâd still give you the keys without hesitation.
âSoâŠyou just want to experience teenage love?â
âWell, that, and ideally, to be loved too. I donât just want some casual teenage love, but at the same time, Iâm tired of waiting around.â
A lightbulb practically lit up inside Lukeâs head as an idea popped up. The logical part of his mind was yelling that this was a bad idea, though the more chaotic side was pushing him to just give it a shot. Though, he spent little time contemplating.
âWhat if we make a pact? By the end of summer - so maybe in about a month - if you havenât started dating anybodyâŠletâs date each other,â Luke blurted out before his mind could talk him into backing out. It was stupid, and he knew it. But if that was one way to potentially date you, then so be it.Â
Lukeâs heart squeezed when he saw you completely frozen. He started panicking. Maybe he made it too obvious, and perhaps you didnât like him in that way and were trying to find a way to back out.Â
âI meanâjust so the both of us could experience teenage love, you know? I think it will be great. We already get along well. Weâre good friends. What could go wrong?â Luke tried in a more casual voice.
A lot could go wrong â you thought. A possible thing that could go wrong is that you would fall harder for Luke, and that feeling would absolutely destroy you when you two break up because he finally becomes genuinely interested in another girl. Or, it has you so hung up that you would confess to him, only for him to say that whatever you two had was just a pact. But Gods, your heart must actually be a fool to whisper to your brain, âI meanâŠat least you would no longer have to imagine how it would feel like to be his.â
âSure,â you said before you could think twice about it. âDeal,â you grabbed his hand and shook it.
âDeal.â
NowâŠLuke just needed to do a couple more things in the meantime.
During the first week, you asked Clarisse to set you up with somebody. She introduced you to one of her friends, Dean. However, when you mentioned Dean to Luke, he clicked his tongue before warning you.
âI just think you deserve better, Y/N. Iâve known him for five years and have never seen him bring one person on a date twice. Last week alone, he went on a date with five people.â Since then, you havenât spoken to Dean again, deciding that you donât want to try and date a playboy.
Two weeks later, you asked this guy on a date. He came to the picnic you had set up with a bouquet of flowers. However, your smile faltered slightly when you realized they were the type of flowers you disliked. You shook the negative thoughts away. After all, itâs the effort that counts.
Things quickly went downhill as the guy started sneezingâŠa lot. His eyes were watering, and it seemed like he was borderline getting sick. You noticed him trying to stop sneezing. You could feel the guy tryingâyou really did. But the last straw broke when he turned away to sneeze mid-sentence but didnât do it fast enough.Â
Three days before the day that marked the day the pact would be able to begin, you attended a party hosted by the Hermes cabin. You were honestly done with trying to find someone to date. Perhaps, this pact thing was not such a bad idea after all, even if Luke might not like you as much as you like him. But at least you knew he would treat you well.
However, your numbers must have turned because somebody had walked up to you and struck up a conversation. With similar humor, your jokes bounced off each otherâs, and you almost started crying from laughing at one point.
The sound of your laughter caught the attention of the Hermes cabin counselor. Luke could feel his lips slowly curling up into a smile at the sound of your giggles and laughter. He has always found the sound so endearing.
However, when he turned his gaze over at you, his eyebrows scrunched at the sight of you conversing with another Hermes boy â Oscar, who was also one of his friends. Luke was no longer paying attention to the conversation in his circle right now. His ears were busy trying to make out what that boy was saying to make you laugh like that. However, he almost left his friends when you touched Oscarâs arm while giggling at another one of his jokes.
You always tend to physically react to Lukeâs jokes, from small touches while laughing to you playfully slapping his arm at his cheekier jokes. They never fail to make the tip of his ears grow red while his cheeks match the same color. Though Luke swore he had never seen you this way with anybody else. Hence, he was less than enthusiastic at the sight of you doing the same with another guy right now.Â
You continued talking to Oscar, but your conversation stopped when somebody bumped into Oscar and spilled their drink onto him.Â
âIâm so sorry, I didnât mean to tripâŠâ the guy who bumped into Oscar apologized.
âChris, itâs okay, donât worry about it,â Oscar said, though a sigh quickly followed his words. âIâll just go and wash the drink off, but Iâll talk to you in a bit, though?â Oscar looked at you. He smiled when you gave him a sweet nod.
âSorry again, man,â Chris said before watching Oscar exit the cabin. He turned to you now. âSo, how are you? Are you enjoying the party?â You answered Chris and started catching up with him. You and Chris met through Luke, though as the years went on you two became friends as well.
With your focus now on Chris, you did not notice the figure of the Hermes cabin counselor zooming past you two and outside, following a certain someone. However, your conversation with Chris didnât last long because Clarisse swooped in and borrowed you from Chris.Â
âSo, I saw you talking to Oscar. Give me the details,â she said, dragging you down to sit beside her.
âHeâs great! Itâs so easy to talk to him and be around him.â
âEasier than with Luke?â you gave her a warning glare. You might have told her about your little crush on Luke, though you confessed that to her out of the belief that nothing would ever happen and that it would pass soon. Fast-forward to a year later, your feelings have not changed.Â
â...No, butââ
âIâm telling you, Lukeâs the best one for you.â
âHe doesnât like me like that.â
âIf he doesnât like you like that, he would have never made that pact with you." When you didnât reply to her, Clarisse decided to bring something else up. âAlright, letâs move on and talk about something else thenâŠanother candidate. Dean told me you didnât show up.â
âShow up to what?â
âHe wrote you a note asking you to meet him?â the look on your face must have told Clarisse you had no idea what she was talking about. âHe wanted to ask you out on a date in person after that talk you two had three weeks ago.â
âWhere did he leave the note?â
âApparently, he was planning to get me to give it to you, but he passed Luke on his way to me, who offered to give it to you.â
âWell, I never got the note. I guess it doesnât matter anyway. Luke told me heâs quite a player.â Clarisse pondered on the information you just provided her. Dean was in no way a player. She knew he has only been on one date with another person at camp. However, the puzzle pieces quickly clicked for Clarisse and she leaned back with a smirk.Â
Before you could question the look on Clarisse's face, Oscar came back to the party.Â
âWell, if you don't mind, Oscar is back and I have a good feeling about him. So I'm going to go and talk to him,â you left Clarisse, walking in the direction Oscar did. Meanwhile, Clarisse only silently chuckled. She knew exactly what Luke was up to and it made her shook her head in amusement.
âHey,â you touched Oscarâs arm, though the cheery grin on your face fell when he slightly flinched and shrugged your hand off. âUhm, itâs good you got that stain off your shirt,â your eyebrows furrowed when you realized Oscar was not even making eye contact with you.
âSo, tell me more about that quest you went on last year?â you asked, hoping to start a conversation again. However, Oscar quickly broke out the truth.
âListen, you seem very lovely, but I donât want to put myself in the middle of anything. I donât want to cause any drama.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âIâm not the type of guy to steal girls my friends are talking to or having a thing with,â you scrunch your eyebrow in confusion. Just as you were going to question what Oscar was referring to, his eyes betrayed him and looked at someone. You followed his eyesight only to see Luke already looking at you while glancing between you and Oscar. Though realizing he had been caught, Luke looked away and back to his friends.
That was when everything made sense.
âUh ohâŠâ Chrisâs voice snapped Luke from whatever his friends were saying. He followed his gaze to where Chris was looking, only to see you storming over.
âWe need to talk,â Luke tried not to think too much about the way your hand felt on his wrist as you pulled him through the crowd and outside. As always, he blindly followed you to wherever you were taking him.Â
You released Luke from your grip and stood with hands on your hips. You took a deep breath.Â
âAre you kidding me? Have you been sabotaging me? You told me Dean plays around, but apparently he doesnât. He also gave you a note to give to me, but you never did it. Then, Oscar, who I was getting along with, came back acting weird, wouldnât even look me in the eye, and then told me we have a thing going on?â
Oh, Gods, you found out about what he has been doing.
âListenâŠâ Luke started off while rubbing his neck, though he was unsure what to say next because he was indeed guilty of every accusation you were throwing towards him. But how was he meant to trust fate that you would still be single by the time the pact would be able to come true?
So, he intervened in his own way. That included throwing away Deanâs note, having Chris spill a drink on Oscar to get the boy away from you so Luke could have a talk with him. He might have also suggested your date two weeks ago to get you flowers, despite knowing that the boy was allergic to flowers.
All he wanted to do was to make sure the pact could happen.
âLukeâŠwhy? You know I wanted this. I wanted to experience things and date someone.â You werenât mad, but you were slightly disappointed and confused. You didnât understand Lukeâs intentions behind his actions.
However, Luke misinterpreted the look on your face. He thought you were genuinely upset, and that alone pinched Lukeâs heart. He gulped at the idea that he might have disappointed you or made you sad. Screw waiting until the pact happens before confessing. What use would that be when you might somehow start hating him?
â...Maybe I wanted it to be me,â Luke confessed, watching your eyes widen. âYou told me you wanted to experience teenage love and feel loved, and youâre tired of waiting until itâs your turn. But I have never told you what I want.â Luke took a step closer to you before starting.
âI want to be the one to take you on dates and give you your favorite flowers every single time. I want to be your personal hype man and be your shoulder to cry on if you ever need one. I want to sit with you by the lake while you read. I also want to read the books you read and those little annotations you make. I want to learn about the things you love and the things you donât. I want to do things you love. I want to show and tell you just how amazing you are every single day. I want to let the feelings I have right now grow cause I really like the idea of loving you, and I want to get there someday.â
You stood there shell-shocked. This felt almost surreal, like something you read from one of your novels. You have always wished to have someone who practically walked out of a romance novel.
âI want you.â
And here he was, standing in front of you, begging for a chance to be yours.
âAnd I know you just want teenage love, and I could offer you that. But just know Iâm also offering so much more, even if you donât treat the pact the same way as I do and will only view it as a casual relationship. But I suggested that pact and chased all those guys away because I like you a lot, Y/N. And in hindsight, it was stupid and selfish. But I did it because I felt like it was the only way I could have you.â
âI like you too, Luke,â the words slipped out so easily like they were always meant to be said. âI want you to be my teenage love. I want you too.â Youâve been walking around asking when it would be your turn. If only you had paid attention and looked closer instead, you might have noticed he felt the same way. You wanted everything he has spoken of and be just the same for him â to be there for him and learn to love the things he does.
âAnd I look forward to every single one of the things youâve told me, and be the same for you. I really canât wait for it. However, there is one thing I really want right now,â you said as you walked closer to him, one hand taking his own into yours.
âWhat?â Luke rasped out, looking so tentatively at you. Gods, whatever wish that spills from your lips this second will have him scour the world for itâwhatever guarantees your happiness.
âI want you to kiss me.â
Oh, you could ask him for a thousand kisses, and he would give you a million.
Lukeâs cheeks grew rosy at your request. He stepped closer, tucking your hair behind your ear without breaking eye contact.Â
âCan I?â He whispered in a honey-like tone, and you knew right then that if he kept talking to you in that voice, youâd do absolutely anything he asked.
âMhm,â your quiet hum granted Luke permission to his next addiction. Without hesitation, Luke attached your lips together with both hands caressing your face tenderly. In return, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled you both closer until your bodies were flushed against one another. Slowly but surely, you also tangled your fingers in his curls. Luke almost immediately melted against your touch, sighing in contentment against the kiss.
Luke was convinced this was now his new favorite thing to do. He wondered if you could taste it through the kissâhis feelings and borderline infatuation for you. Either way, he intended on making every kiss like this: wholeheartedly and as if it would be your last.Â
Now, if you were to ask Luke Castellan how to get the person of your dreams, hereâs what heâd advise you:
Step 1. Be stupid and propose a dating pact (tick).
Step 2. Chase away every other potential candidate (tick).
Step 3. Confess (tick).
Step 4. Fulfill all those promises you have made about loving the person (To be continued...But, heâs intending to do this for as long as youâll let him).
-------------------------
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#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan x y/n#luke castellan fluff#luke castellan x you#luke castellan oneshot#luke castellan#luke castellan fanfiction#pjo fic#pjo#charlie bushnell#pjo imagine#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo series#fluff
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Dahlia with String then Burlap plsss
What about him and the reader being lovers in highschool. After his death ,the reader went mad and stuck at the age of 15 when he was still alive. After he got back,he visits her everyday since he believed there is still a way to get his girl back đ
COME HOME TO ME
pairing. jason todd x reader
warning. angst to fluff, character death + revival, age regression, reader in a psych ward
a/n. i really liked this prompt thank you
âhey baby,â jason whispered, his hand on the glass separating the two of you, oh how he wished he could break this down and take you home. but he knows that you wouldnât react well to being taken.
you donât reply, your eyes are staring forward. theyâre so dull now, not like the girl he loved when he was younger, his girl.
youâre wearing one of the hoodies he left here for you. you may not recognise his face and voice but youâd never forget the way he smelt, you used to tease him for the pine smell but now it was all you had left of him.
âbaby,â jason calls out again, a little louder this time. âcome on, doll. look at me, itâs me. itâs jay.â jason wants to cry, he wants you back, he wants you home, his voice is pleading, thereâs a lump in his throat when you finally look at him.
you shake your head at him, âyouâre not my jay.â
jason feels like heâs dying again, it feels the same. he feels like heâs dying inside, the breath leaving his lungs, eyes closing and he can hear that bomb again. the maniacal laughter of the bastard that killed him, the sound of his skull cracking under the force of the crowbar.
because heâs not really your jay, is he? no, he knows he isnât. that boy died a long time ago, but jason can be jay, because you need jay, not jason.
âyes i am, baby.â itâs me, doll.
when did baby turn to doll, he wonders. another sign that heâs changed.
âlook at me, really look at me.â
and you do you look into his green eyesâ green? that canât be right, jayâs eyes were an icy blue you adored dozing off to. but there is something familiar in the way this man looks at you, like you could massacre cities and heâd still love you.
but he canât be jay, your jay died.
you shake your head again, turning away from him to curl up on the bed â jason has to remember to say thanks to bruce for getting you somewhere that takes care of you â to hide from him.
âbaby donât go,â he whispers.
this was routine by now, everyday for the last three months he came here. to sit by the glass that separates you from him. and everyday you do the same thing, refuse to believe him.
âbaby, donât you remember me? remember that day we snuck into the theatre, in the roof and took out that part of the ceiling so we could watch? and you saidââ
ââweâre like ninjas.â
a smile crosses his lips, and he laughs. your heart flutters and you peek a look at him, only to find his staring right back at you. âhi baby.â
âjay,â you mumble, he nods.
âthatâs right, doll. itâs jay.â
âdoll?â you ask.
he shrugs, âmaybe itâs time for something new.â
âi like it,â you say.
it takes weeks before youâre discharged. the doctors donât believe the sudden change in you, the hallucinations suddenly gone, youâre not seeing a teenage lover, you donât believe youâre 15 anymore.
they run their test but nothing wrong comes back. jason takes you home at the end of it all.
itâs different, the way he walks, or talk, the way he stands. so different yet so familiar. heâs bigger, not the scrawny boy you knew, his size triples yours.
he laughs when you mention it to him.
he keeps his distance, trying to keep you comfortable but you want him closer. you want him to hold you, more than anything you want to curl up next to him, letting some corny horror movie you play in the background, youâd jump despite knowing the jump scares are coming, and heâd tease you, promise to keep the monsters away. before he screamed himself, and you laughed, fingers running through his hair.
his hair was different too, still black but he had that white streak in it. you told him you liked it, he gave up on trying to dye it.
he stays with you at night, holding your hand when you wake up from the nightmares of losing him.
it takes months before he holds you, causally like he used to. hands dragging along your hips when he walks past you. he coddles you months later despite your insistence that you can take care of yourself.
you donât get over the years of your life you lost, but you both have that in common. your life started and ended together. now you get another chance to start again.
jason wonât leave you again. jay wonât let you hurt again.
© e-nonsense. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and Iâll bite your toes off
#jason todd#[đź] asks#red hood x reader#enzo writes [đ]#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader fluff#jason todd angst#jason todd fluf#2k followers celebration
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đđđđ đđđ đđ đđđđ đđđ.
⣠sypnosis. you had been in your first ever relationship with suguru for a couple months now. neither of you have taken your relationship to the next level; suguru was extremely patient and never brought the topic of sex up until you one day decide you were ready.
⣠note. first fic for my event :3 i spent way too much time on this fic so it turned out very detailed, long, romantic and fluffy. i hope you all enjoy and appreciate it teehee. this post contains smut, proceed at own risk ! wc: around 6.1k
⣠tags. soft dom!geto suguru x virgin!female reader. fluff + smut. slow burn. age gap (reader 20-ish, suguru around 29/30), little talks about insecurity, loss of virginity, breast play, edging, teasing, fingering, lots of praise, dirty talk, size difference!, p in v â unprotected (dont b like reader and use protection please), creampie, aftercare, suguruâs really romantic and just a softie for u, suguru being a good âdadâ to mimiko and nanako and teeny tiny bits of him secretly being a pervert.
never in a million years had suguru expected his girlfriend to be so upfront about such a big, personal decision. the thought of having you say those words had never crossed his mind.
âcan you repeat that for me, sweetheart?â
could you blame him for asking you to clarify the words youâve uttered? that man has seen you as an oblivious and innocent woman ever since the start of your relationship. of course, unbeknownst to him, your thoughts were anything but that.
you may be a virgin, but your mind was a place for the most lewd and nasty thoughts. itâs just that youâve been scared of being intimate with a manâitâs frightening, especially when having heard the many online stories about how badly it could hurt. some say that such descriptions were over exaggerating, however your inexperience still lead you to believe everything youâve read about the topic.
and then you started dating an older man named suguru. youâve met him by chance at a mall in kyoto and he was the first one who approached the other. you remember how suguru politely asked you for some advice regarding what type of presents he should get for âtwo teenage girlsâ. of course, you agreed to helping him out and thatâs how you two eventually ended up brainstorming about possible ideas in a cozy cafĂ©.
once seated, chosen drinks in both your hands, you asked the man whether the gifts were meant for his daughters. somehow, thatâs the first connection the neurones in your brain had made once suguru told you about the two teenagers he was picking out presents for.
you remember it vividly; the sweet, gentle sound of the laughter that accounted as your answer, the eyes of the then stranger looking rather nostalgic as they stared into the liquid in his cup. suguru responded vaguely; âi guess you could say that, yes.â
that little âdateââif you could call it thatâended on a wholesome note. suguru thanked you for your time and made sure that you safely got into the train you needed to take home. he did want to offer you a car ride, however he kept that question to himself since he knew that no woman would voluntarily agree to be taken home by a stranger. even if suguru had the purest of intentions.
there were a couple more dates that followed after that one; all where you both gradually got to know each other better. youâve found out so much about suguruâthe details about his own life being both fascinating and sad at the same time. likewise, suguru had also learned much about you. he always shows great interest in what you tell him, even if itâs a minuscule detail. he remembers it all as wellâa feature which caused you to feel funny things in your stomach.
you realised you were catching feelings for that mysterious yet sweet and loving man; it was inevitable. the way he makes you giggle, his respectful and easygoing manner of speaking, the slight touches you two shared on accident.. all of it added to your little crush.
however, you didnât actually think suguru was falling for you too. you only met up for a few times, plus, you seem out of his leagueâboth due to your age gap and difference in the things youâre pursuing at the time. you were in college, trying to get your degree whilst he already had a job as a powerful leader of an organisation and was trying to achieve one of many goals with them.
thereâs not a chance heâd like you, right?
wrong. you were confessed to a couple weeks after your first meeting and have been in a relationship for over 4 months now. it still felt like a dream; having your first boyfriend be such a gentleman. it truly felt like you already met the love of your life whenever he was near.
suguruâs been nothing but sweet and caring to you, has never asked you to engage in any sexual activities nor even ever dared to touch you in places you havenât consented to. the furthest youâve gone in terms of intimacy in those four months, were make-out sessions. just some tongue action here and thereâadding sprinkles of neck kisses and hickeys.
there were times where you wanted to let things escalate, however you couldnât bring it upon yourself to ask your lover. suguru wasnât the person to decide your feelings for you eitherâif there was no verbal consent coming from your lips, heâs not going any further. even if he wanted to as well.
you were grateful that suguru was that willing to wait for you, no matter how long it might take. not only were you anxious of the possible pain the sex would bring, but it was partially due to the fact that your lover was much more experienced in that field.
what if you were lacking? what if it wasnât satisfactory enough for him and heâd eventually leave you for it? itâs obvious that suguru wasnât the type of man to actually do that, however you couldnât stop the many possibilities from running free in your brain.
your change of mind was rather spontaneous; it was today when you suddenly came up with your final decision. you were staying over at suguruâs, the sun was out and he was sitting on his balcony, reading a book whilst sipping on his coffee. what caught your eye was his bare back and the muscles which were on display to you.
suguru was shirtless and the seams of light were making his skin glistenâthe view making your own body hot and bothered. you bit your lip and approached your boyfriend from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before kissing his neck. that skin-to-skin contact made you sure of your decision; you needed him. in more ways than one.
thatâs how you ended up saying what you said. the statement left suguru baffled since you uttered it in his ear out of the blue. he couldnât deny one thing however; the idea certainly did send a shiver of excitement down his spine.
âi said,â you repeat with a little mischievous grin, leaning in closer to your lover once he turned around to face you properlyâas if searching for any hints that your words were indeed not his imagination, âi wanna lose my virginity to you.â
it wasnât. you actually said itâthe words that would take your relationship a step further. although, suguru couldnât help but wonder where your sudden decision came from. his hands found their way to yours and he held onto them like they were two delicate flowers.
âiâm happy to hear that, though iâm curious,â your lover starts off carefully as he places chaste yet soft kisses on your palms, âwhy so sudden?â
you shrug nonchalantly like you didnât feel that twinge of nervousness in the back of your mind as you felt suguruâs lips on your skin. âit really was happening now, was it?ââthat kind of feeling was the cause of your subtle anxiousness.
âwell, ehhâ you just looked good.. sitting there.. i guess.â you mumble, voice trailing off in embarrassment whilst your eyes darted around the balcony in attempt to avoid suguruâs gaze. your flustered expression and adorable confession makes him laugh gently. it was not a mocking laugh at allâmore of an amused one;
âjust when i thought you couldnât get any cuter..â the long-haired man muses, the locks of his bangs grazing ever so slightly against your hands as he keeps holding them, âyou never fail to surprise me, do you know that?â
suguru had a way with words that made you weak in the knees. or maybe itâs simply because heâs shirtless and kissing your palms so romantically. you donât know which one it was.
âbut, love,â suguru continues carefully as he stands up, your eyes following his as he towers over you, âare you a hundred percent sure? i donât want to do anything you arenât comfââ
âyes.â your answer cut your boyfriend off and heâs left in shock once more. your eyes were filled with determination, yet the faint glint of nervousness in them didnât escape suguruâs sight. youâve given your verbal consent and are even the first one to suggest the ideaâ what more could he ask of you?
there hung a silence between you two, the breeze blowing through suguruâs dark locks making him look even more majestic than he already was. you had no doubt about it; today was going to be the day. it had to be.
âthen, if youâd let me have this,â his low voice sounded more sensual than it had ever been as his hand found its place on your cheek, fingertips rubbing against your ear, thumb softly pressing onto your skinâ
a slow and romantic kiss followed straight afterwards. it had caught you slightly off guard, even when knowing fully well that this was what you were longing for.
his lips moved in tandem against yours, the soft touch making you feel certain emotions that you hadnât even thought existed. this man whom you called your lover had never been unable to expose you to new sensations. and soon, heâll grant you another one. a much pleasurable one.
one arm circled your waist, the other held up, hand on the back of your head to deepen the passion-filled kiss you shared. his lips parted your lightly trembling ones, the tips of your tongues attentively rubbing against one another as if to test the waters; was it fine to go further? are we actually doing this?
you were. it was set in stone as your throat formed soft noises of satisfaction, shaky breaths being exchanged by the two lovers on the balconyânot one of you realising that the weather was changing in the background. the sun was setting, creating the perfect mood for the situation as you were still engrossed by each otherâs moves and touches.
it was only for the sake of catching your breath that you had pulled away. your cheeks felt hot, as did your entire body which was still pressed against suguruâsâchest to chest. the proximity was one you both had enjoyed many moments before, however this instant was unlike any other. you both knew as you stared at each other in silence, your quick breaths doing the talking instead.
âwill you let me..â the voice of which you have grown to adore spoke to you, the owner grasping your attention once more by holding onto your hand. suguruâs fingers smoothly slid across your skin until they found the puzzle they were meant to completeâthat being the gaps between your own fingers. once your hands were tightly intertwined, the man finishes his sentence;
âwill you let me love you?â
his face was still close to yours as he uttered those beautiful words to you, warm breath lightly fanning the thin strands of hair on your cheeks to the side, lips subconsciously trying to brush against yours once more. but, they could wait. they could wait until the agreement leaves your mouth.
âof course.â the answer escapes before you could even register it properly. this makes suguru smile against your lips as he captured them in another sweet kiss. he muttered a small âthank youâ and then swept your legs off the floorâstrong arms placed under your thighs to hold you up against his body whilst the hungry kisses continue.
suguru doesnât know how he got there; carrying you over to his bed, settling you down onto the soft mattress, his body caging yours underneath him, eyes fluttering over every detail of your exposed skin. he hadnât had you like this ever before; he hadnât had you in his bed for a reason as sinful as this, only ever for cuddles or sleep.
âyouâre beautiful.â the dark-haired man whispers as he carefully takes off the clothing covering your figureâthe gorgeous skin his hands still have yet to explore. suguru canât remember the last time he has treated anyone like this; like a treasure heâs had the honour to find and keep to himself. there hasnât been a single woman in his life that heâs cared for this muchâyouâre the only one capable of mellowing him and his heart.
âstunning,â another compliment; another breath spent to praise you. your loverâs fingers teased the edges of your bra, lips kissing down your collarbone and towards the centre of your chestâeach touch being done with precision. your bra became undone a second later and you let the straps fall of your arms, all the way until your breasts were fully revealed.
suguruâs breath hitches, mouth forming more saliva than in any previous instants, the liquid being pushed down his throat with a gulp. you didnât have the chance to feel conscious of yourself in a moment like this; the dim light of the bedside lamp shone on suguruâs face, his lips glistening with a mixture of your saliva whilst his gaze was lingering on the new sight in front of himâhe was utterly obsessed.
âmay i?â his hands were already reaching out for the plump flesh and they came in touch once you nodded shyly. his palms were warm as they kneaded your breasts and his fingers brushed against your nipples, which made you whimper from how sensitive they were now that someone else has finally touched them.
suguru took notice of your reaction and put pressure on both small buds once again, thumbs rubbing your areolas in circular motions, âthat good, princess?â
âmhmmâ y-yes,â you mutter through a moan. your body was pushed further onto the mattress as your lover put more of his weight on you, your entire chest area getting covered by licks and kisses, slow and deliberate ones that left you yearning for more. suguruâs eyes gazed up at yours for consent once his parted lips hovered just above your sensitive nipples, his breath on them alone making you squirm already.
with another nod, suguru wasted no time taking one nipple into his warm mouthâwetting it with his saliva as his tongue slid around the area. his long fingers squeezed, twisted and pulled on your other nipple to give you both stimulations at once.
âmm, so good.â his muffled voice caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. suguru slowly lets his lips travel across your tits, sucking on them, even kissing down the curves until he reaches your torso. he gives that area the same amount of love and attention whilst your fingers were tangled around his smooth, long hair. suguru clearly seemed to enjoy the sensations; he let out small moans and hums against your bare skin to indicate that you should continue playing and tugging at his locks.
his tongue abruptly came to a stop right above the waistline of your pantiesâthe barrier he was about to reach past for the first time. the hesitation was visible in his body language, however his fingers eventually tugged at the fabric, preparing to take it off.
your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched suguru slowly pull the last piece of cloth away. your thighs pressed together on instinct, stopping your panties from exposing your bare cunt.
âshould i stop?â suguru asks with a raised eyebrow, fingers pulling away from your underwear now that heâs seen you close your legs. you didnât want him to stopâitâs just the nerves that made your body move on its own command;
âpleaseâ no,â you shake your head, biting your lip as you swallowed your own saliva out of pure desire. you craved him now that itâs come this far, âneed you. need you so bad, suguru.â
those words caused suguruâs brain to shut down. any irrelevant thoughts were thrown out of the window; the only thing his mind was telling him to do, was to take care of your needs. your body was laid out on his bedâtrusting eyes looking up at his in anticipation, pretty hands grasping onto his sheets like itâd calm you down.
âiâm all yours, sweetheart.â suguru sighs, fingertips slightly shaking as he pulls your panties down to your ankles, eyes pausing on the revelation. to say that suguru was simply rendered speechless, was an understatement. that man was on the verge of letting loose of any self-control and just dive his face right between your thighs, eating you out like heâs fantasised of doing for a while now.
âfuck.â your boyfriend closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself before opening them to smile down at youâthe handsome smile that was one of the many reasons you fell in love with him, âiâll be careful. i promise.â
naturally, you nodded along. youâve built up enough trust between one another during the past few months to let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. the palm of his hands patted your thighs slightly before spreading them apart, once again showing your glistening folds, a slight wetness to them from your own arousal.
suguru couldnât help but lick his lips at the sight. heâd already have devoured your dripping cunt if it wasnât for his self-control. but, it was your first time. he couldnât rush into things just yet.
âthank you, baby.â the dark-haired man whispered under his breath. he was showing his gratitude for the sight you allowed him to seeâa sight only he had ever seen before. the only man to be able to witness the beauty before him. that fact alone made his eyes darken in lust ever so slightly.
his fingers carefully slid across your vulva, your bodily fluid coating the skin which makes him shiver and his fingers get bolder. the cute sounds that filled his ears were only making this even better for him.
the way your hips bucked up slightly into his touchâjust asking for suguru to take you right then and thereâwas driving him insane. every vein in his body felt like it could pop with how much he was restraining his own self from acting out of line. his finger easily slid into the little hole and suguru almost couldnât believe it; your pussy was clamping down on his finger, your insides tightly wrapped around him to the point that even he wouldnât know if his dick would fit in.
âhnnngh, suguru, pleaseâ wanâ your cock already,â that dirty sounding sentence was one he didnât expect to hear from a virgin. it made him shake his head with a small, delighted chuckle; you really never failed to surprise him.
âi know you do,â suguru purrs, pressing kisses against the curves of your tits whilst another finger of his joined to stretch your pussy out properly, âbut i need to prep you enough if you wanna take my cock. can you be patient for me, sweetheart?â
âmâkay. gonna try..â his fingers pumped in and out of you, the feeling of them curling up deep inside you made your walls squeeze against them. youâve played with yourself before, of course, however it was then that you discovered that nothing could ever compare to the real thing: suguruâs long and slightly girthy fingers.
just when you thought that it couldnât get any better, you felt a third fingerânot inside you--but on your clit, rubbing the small bundle of nerves like you couldâve never done to yourself. suguru was so precise and exact with his actions which showed his experience. thatâs another reason of why youâve put all your trust in him. getting your virginity taken by a sweet, older and experienced man was probably ten times better than losing it to any guy your age, who were probably only out for sex.
suguru was there to make love to you.
your back arched once you felt suguruâs fingers increase their pace, the wet and squelchy sounds echoing through the room as they got louder the more your pussy got played with, his thumb almost overstimulating your clit to the point of release alreadyâthatâs how superb your loverâs hand movements were.
âno, no. canât have you cum on my fingers like that.â you whine once you felt suguru take his fingers back the same moment you were about to reach your first orgasm by someone elseâs hands. the older man smirks at this and kisses you on the lips, pulling away slowly with your bottom lip between his teeth, letting it lightly flop back into place as he lets go; âi wanna have you cum together with me, okay?â
you couldnât refuse such a romantic request, thus you nod. suguru smiles back at you once more before his hands move to take off his sweatpants, tossing the piece of clothing to the side. your eyes widened as you were propped on your elbows, gaze lingering on the massive bulge formed at the crotch area, his boxers not hiding much of the shape.
once the underwear was off as wellâthatâs when you realised that your underlying anxiousness was not for nothing. suguruâs cock sprung free, it was slightly curved near his pink tip, drops of pre-cum flowing down the length. you havenât ever seen a dick in real life, only ever on the internet, so this had left you stunned. you didnât know what the average size was for a man, but thereâs one thing you knew for sure: suguru was definitely way above the average size.
âcat got your tongue, princess?â he teased, his hand absentmindedly pumping his cock to the sight of your naked body underneath him. suguru didnât even know that he started doing that in front of you; it was out of pure instinct. he couldnât hide the excitement in his body, his shaft twitching in his hand as if it desperately wanted to feel your tight cunt around it.
âuhm, s-suguru..â you stammer a bit, biting your lip as your eyes followed his hand motions which got faster once your sweet voice called out to him. something about you looking a tad bit intimidated by his size made him want to destroy your insides to mushâhave you beg him to fuck you as he bullies his whole length into your poor, small cunt.
âi know, i know..â suguru reassures you, free hand giving you a few consoling head pats, âiâll try to make it as less painful as possible, okay?â
you hum and watch how your lover settles between your legs, spreading them enough to kneel before you, upper body bending forward to place soft pecks on your forehead; he was encouraging and preparing you more in his own way.
your arms instantly wrapped around his back, sweaty palms set underneath his shoulder bladesâyou took a deep breath and closed your eyes, just waiting on that moment. that feeling youâve been craving, yet also have been avoiding.
you waited for a bit, however the only sounds heard and sensations felt were the slight dent in the mattress near one side of your body, the bed creaking faintly. suguru was leaning on side of his body, one arm stretched out to open a drawer, apparently searching for a condom.
once you realised what he was doing, you shook your head and tapped his back twice to regain suguruâs attention. his gaze immediately flickered over to yours and his head tilted to the side in curiosity; âi want the full experienceâno condom, please.â
his eyes widened at the request. you seemed to be dead serious, eyes glinting determinedly, lips forming a little poutâ it was impossible to refuse you, although suguru knew that he had to play the role of the older, more wise and experienced lover in the back of his mind.
he parted his lips to list off the reasons why you should let him use a condom, yet the words died on his tongue. you were impossible to say ânoâ to. not when youâre looking up at him with those pretty eyes.
âwhatever princess wants, princess gets.â
suguru prodded your entrance with the fat head of his cock, circling the hole and wetting it more by using a mixture of his pre-cum and your own arousal. you took another deep breath and tried your best to hold tightly onto your boyfriend, arms wrapped tightly around his back with your face nuzzled in the crook of his neckâbracing for impact.
âtell me if it hurts too much,â suguru whispers in your ear, leaving one last kiss on your temples before pushing his hips forward, folds stretching out and apart to allow his cock through and into your pussy.
did it hurt like you expected? yes. it most certainly did. maybe even worse than you were prepared for.
âfuckâ nhhh, fuckfuckfuck!â you hiss whilst your nails dig into the skin of suguruâs back, probably leaving red marks because of how much youâre clinging onto himâlike your life depened on it. thatâs quite literally what it felt like to you; body being forced to part and make way for suguru inside you, pussy feeling like it was burning by how big of a stretch it was to fit him inâif he actually would be able to push all of his inches into your tight hole.
âsshh, shh, itâs okay, try to relax for me, yeah?â your lover comforts you the best he could, stilling his movements for a couple seconds before gently slipping his cock further into you. it pained him to see the discomfort written over your face, however you hadnât made any clear signs of wanting this to come to a halt. in fact, you were encouraging him to continue whenever he stopped at any indication of hurt.
âi can take it.. p-promise,â you manage to moan out. suguru breathed in deeply at your words and nodded, kissing your lips in hopes to distract you from any pain youâre feeling, âyouâre too good to me, sweetheart. really.â
both of you exhaled deeply as suguru finally bottomed out, a long minute of reassurance and pushing now behind your back. your eyes had watered up a little, chest heaving as you tried to accommodate to the new feeling inside of you.
âtake your time.â suguru utters gently, voice sultry and sweet whenever its directed at you. his lips graze against your cheeks, smothering the area with pecks to take your mind off anything else. the locks of black hair tickle your chin and nose, the hairtie that usually kept a good chunk of his hair in a bun now out of sight.
suguru hadnât taken anyoneâs virginity before and thatâs what also made this opportunity special to him. he didnât know how to thank you with words, so he showed his gratitude throughout his actions; lips kissing your shiny tears away, moving across your face to your forehead and eventually to your own round lips which had formed a cute pout.
you could feel suguru smile against your mouth, his tongue gently tracing the outline of your lips whilst mumbling words of affection and praise; âyouâre taking it so well, baby. such a good girl for meâ love you so much.â
you giggled lightly at your loverâs appreciative remarks, focusing on returning the kiss instead of the tingling feeling in your lower body. you pulled away after a bit and looked up at him with nothing but pure adoration; âi love you too, suguru.â
if suguru had the ability to freeze time, heâd want to do it during this moment, just to relive this bit over and over. heâs sure that this exact instant will be engraved into his memory for the many years to come.
and once youâve given him the green light to move, he did it with caution, slowly but surely. his hips moved back and then forwards, girthy cock dragging along your walls at a leisurely pace, but just enough to make your pain transform into pleasure.
suguruâs big hands were placed on your hips, sometimes theyâd leave their position to cup your chin and make you face him. he doesnât want you to look away from his eyes; heâll think you donât like this if you do. besides, the thing he loves most about being in the missionary position, is that heâs able to hear how good heâs making you feel whilst looking into your eyes to see your face scrunch up in satisfaction. itâs so romantic and perfect. just like you.
âmy little princess is so pretty.â suguru sighs in content and kisses your tears away, thrusting into your tight cunt in a comfortable paceânot too fast but not too slow, âthe way you take my cock and still manage to look beautiful while doing itâ youâre incredible.â
if the physical pleasure wasnât enough, his added commentary would certainly be. you moan and whimper phrases that sound like his name over and over again; you didnât know what else to say as your mind was foggy with the amazing sensations your body was experiencing for the first time. that was fine with suguru since all he wants was to see you enjoy yourselfâthis moment was for you. everything he did was for youâevery thrust, every kiss, every touch.
ânhhg, too good, so good!â you mewl and leave more scratch marks across suguruâs back, ones which he didnât mind at all. it only served as further proof of this special moment. the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of your insides, puffy folds parted widely to make room for more of his length until it felt like he actually was balls deep.
âmhmâyouâre, haah, tight..â the once calm and collected man seemed to let loose of himself the more he felt your cunt swallow him all the way, gripping onto his dick as if you didnât want to ever let go. suguru grunts and moves down to leave a couple hickeys across your neck, hips non-stop pushing against yours, âdonât think i can last longâfuck, yeahâyou feel amazing, baby.â
your eyes roll back as the pleasure seems to build up in your stomach as well. it felt like a coil that threatened to snap at any moment and itâd release another immense wave of pleasure upon breaking. your body was on fire, sweaty and hot, just like suguruâs.
âcan you cum with me, princess? can you wait and hold on for me?â he asks, and the questions sound impossible, however you could at least try your best to fulfil his desires. youâd also want nothing more than to reach your peak together with the man you loved.
âokayâmmhhâtogether.â you nod and your body tenses up, legs subconsciously moving to wrap around suguruâs waist, heels of your feet simultaneously tapping against his lower back along with his hip movements. you didnât know how much longer you could hold out for as your breathing patterns changes, whiney gasps and choked up moans escaping the back of your throat as your clit bumps against his pelvis over and over.
âalmost, almostââ suguru curses through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching while yours did the opposite. your body rocked back and forth and the bed felt like it was shaking along as well. you could tell by the way suguruâs hips rolled against yours that he was closeâhis eyebrows were furrowed, eyes half-lidded but not closed to still hold contact with yours and his hands clutched onto your waist. all indications of his nearing climax.
âmnph, gonna cumâ shit, shit, shit, iâm gonna cumââ suguru swears under his breath a couple times more before snapping back into reality at the last few seconds. he realised once again that he didnât have a condom on, so his first rational thought was to pull out and finish himself outside of your body.
you were also nearing your own orgasm, not thinking rationally due to the intensity of the moment, any other thoughts except for the man on top of you were thrown out of the window. you felt suguru try to pull his twitching and throbbing cock out before it could spurt its cum inside of your dripping cunt.
you whined and shook your head, pulling suguru in for a deep kiss while tightening the grasp your legs had around his hips; âw-want to feel you cum in meâ want you to fill me up while i finish too.â
suguruâs breath caught in his throat, almost choking on his own saliva from your bold requests. his only rational thought instantly vanished from his mind, now all thatâs left was pure love, pleasure and desire. the mental image of his cum spilling and filling your pussy to the brim drove him to the edge.
âall yours, iâm going to give it all to you, princess, yeah? fuck !â both of you relinquished in the feeling of bliss, the warmth and build up reaching its designated endingâ the expected waves of pleasure washing over you both. series of soft moans, whimpers and groans filled the room as your pussy was flooded with lots of hot cum.
it was like suguru hadnât came in yearsâthatâs how incredible that orgasm was experienced by the dark-haired male. the same thing goes for you; your legs were shaking, hips squirming up in aftershocks as you squeezed down on suguruâs cock, quite literally milking him dry of every drop.
ânhh, haahâ suguru, love,â your tired and powerless whispers caught his attention immediately. your trembling hand held onto his cheek in attempt to make him look at you. suguruâs fingers curled around your wrist, turning your hand away from his face and to the side so heâll have access to your palm. his lips left a ticklish trail of pecks on them until his mouth found its home: your lips.
the two of you exchanged deep, exhausted breaths, your boyfriend eventually pulling out and rolling onto his side to cradle you into his armsâhand placed on the back of your head to rest your body against his chest. the following seconds were spent cuddling as you tried to regain composure.
âyou were amazing.â suguru sighs, chin resting on top of your head whilst his hand rubbed your bare back in comfort, âare you okay, sweetheart? nothing feeling off or anything of that sorts?â
you shake your head and snuggle up against your lover, content with how things are right now. the afterglow of your little sessionâof your first time, made you happier than ever. you couldnât believe itâd feel this good. maybe itâs due to the one youâve lost your virginity to.
âiâm okay.â you mumble and lift your head up to look suguru in the eyes, faces only inches away from each other. there were no words in the dictionary that could describe how you two felt. the closest word to explain it would be flawless.
âiâm glad, baby. thank you for trusting me.â suguru flashes you a small smile and strokes your head. you stay like that, bodies intertwined in a deep and comfortable hug, whispers of sweet nothings filling your ears and subtle gestures of love making you feel secure.
a couple minutes later and suguru noticed how you started to doze off. he chuckled to himself before pulling away from your hug and standing up, only to have you pout and complain about the loss of warmth.
âiâm just going to clean you up, love.â the soft-spoken man utters to you, laughing quietly at the adorable state you were in at the moment. you were so dependent on him.
âshould i prepare us a warm, relaxing bubble bath as well?â he asks, squatting down near the edge of his bed and taking your hands in his, maintaining eye contact as per usual.
âthatâd be nice.â you nod and feel your eyelids close slowly, âcanât promise i wonât fall asleep, though.â
suguru lets out a soft exhale through his nose, corner of his lips curling upwards at your little comment. he couldnât believe he ended up dating such an unbelievably wonderful girl. itâs a blessing in his life of curses.
âiâll make sure to at least clean you up if you do fall asleep, donât worry. youâre safe with me.â
you were sure he was an angel sent down from heaven. it was more than clear to youâeven if it may not be to many others out there.
âthank you, suguru.â you murmur as your body relaxes into the soft mattress, âi love you.â
âi love you too. more than you could imagine.â
#à· : choose your fate.#jjk smut#jjk x reader#geto smut#geto x reader#jjk x you#geto x you#getou suguru x reader#jjk fic
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Angel
What happens when the team finds out about your relationship? (Autistic reader x Barça FemenĂ)
As always, the other parts of Reverie can be found here. This one gets a bit deep.
One thing you had come to learn about your new team was that they never shied away from gossip. Like most people, they did have their limits, but if it was gossip within the team, especially about any possible relationships, well⊠they simply couldn't be stopped.
You indulged in it of course, you're only human after all, you just hadn't prepared yourself for the moment that the topic was your love life. And it seemed that the team didnât really take into account how you would feel about it all.Â
If there was one thing that would send you into some kind of meltdown, it was people talking about you without you knowing. That was something that had plagued you as a teenager, and as ridiculous as it may seem to others, it was something that still sent you spiralling endlessly. All you wanted was to be liked and to fit in, whenever those things seemed at risk, it had you scurrying back into your shell and headfirst into a deep pit of anxiety.Â
It had been a matter of weeks since you and Alexia got together, and an even shorter amount of time since you had confessed your love to each other, but living in the content bubble of privacy was everything you needed and more. A part of you loved the thrill of sneaking around, like how you both drive separately to and from training only to end up at the other's apartment afterwards, and how you both hide away in the corners of any cafĂ©s you come across.Â
But the thing is, it seemed the two of you weren't quite as discreet as you thought.Â
The morning it all came falling down was the same as any other day; you woke up in your bed with Alexia asleep on the other side of you, facing away as the sun shone into the room and lit up the tattoos on her back like an art display. Not long after you looked over at her did a smile appear, and you couldnât resist shuffling up behind her and wrapping yourself around her body to nestle into her. Your alarm hadnât gone off yet and the sun wasnât fully up, meaning there was more than enough time to enjoy each otherâs company before the day that faced you began. Mornings were your favourite, and if Alexia thought she was a morning person before you, you had come along and totally trumped her in that. The world was yours in the early hours of the day, it was peaceful and serene without the interruptions of life as the birds sang and the dew covered the grass.Â
Apparently that particular morning was the calm before the storm.Â
Alexia drove the pair of you to training, arriving earlier than the rest of the squad and going your separate ways once in the building, Alexia with some media commitments and you with a physio session for a slight knock picked up in the game a few days prior. Nobody else had shown up yet and they wouldnât for some time, so the possibility that someone might pick up on something was far from your minds.
Apart from the one car parked up outside and the weirdly frequent amount of time spent together and the obvious love in each otherâs eyes, there were no signs at all. Zero.
Perhaps you werenât the only oblivious one in the relationship.
â-there is something going on, Mapi.â Jana smirked as she walked into the building alongside the older defender whilst Ingrid followed behind.
âThere is nothing! Donât ask me.â Mapi put on that classic confused look on her face and paired it with a shrug, desperately holding back a grin that she knew Ingrid would scold her for.
âEverybody can see the way Ale looks at her, and how she looks at Ale. I made a bet with Keira, please.â Jana continued, glancing around to make sure the coast was clear, which it was, before turning to Mapi again with a pleading look on her face.
âJana.â Ingrid warned lightly, more than aware of the conversations that have been had by most of the team but way too concerned with how you'd react to it all. She assumed her teammates would have more sense about doing this about you, but apparently not.
âCome on, Mapi. Just shake your head or something, someone like you canât keep a secret. And itâll come out eventually so why not just say it now.â Jana had her arms wrapped around Mapiâs arms, tugging every so often to persuade her.Â
âMarĂa, don't. Jana, there is nothing going on. Let them be.â The Norwegian gave her final warning, quite frankly tired of the topic and annoyed with her teammates' behaviour.Â
It wasnât only how Jana was acting now, it was the fact the majority of the team had been speculating for some time already, and though she had witnessed their nosiness before, this time around she was far from happy about it. She wasnât really one to have so much intrigue in her teammatesâ lives, she believed if they wanted to talk about it then they would, so there was no use in indulging in meaningless gossip that really had no benefits for anyone apart from satisfying the curiosity of people that had no business being interested anyway. That, added onto the fact she knew you would probably have some kind of meltdown if you overheard anything, meant she was sick to death of othersâ careless actions.
However, by defending you, she had only made it worse.
âOh, so there is something going on? Thatâs why Mapi isnât talking?â Janaâs face lit up and Ingrid was instantly filled with dread from head to toe. Before she could stop the younger girl, she was already darting off to her other friends to share the new information. And thatâs where the situation reached its peak.
You were more than fine, living blissfully unaware throughout the morning. Alexia was at your side, training was fun and light that day, and you had woken up feeling especially good that morning. Not much could stop you. The exclusion to that was of course the whole team gossipping about not only you, but Alexia too.
âYouâre such a liar! I didnât cheat, youâre the one that dropped your cards everywhere. My eyes were already looking in that direction, it just so happened to be that thatâs where your cards landed.â You argued back at Alexia, stuck in a heated debate about how you had apparently cheated at a game of cards with her family the previous night. The blonde tutted in disagreement and gave you a light shove, suppressing a smile at the laugh you responded with.
âAlready at the family game nights, huh?â Patri came up alongside you and smirked as her eyebrows raised, before she was quickly tugged away by Claudia, leaving you confused.
âWhat did she mean by that?â You turned to Alexia to see if she had any better understanding, only to find what looked like a resigned and slightly panicked expression on her face. âAle?â
âNothing, cariño, she is just teasing. Forget about it.â Her arm wrapped around your shoulder briefly as she gave you a quick reassuring hug, but she pulled away too soon to make you feel at ease.Â
What she wasnât clueing you in on was the seed of worry that Patri had just planted. Like Ingrid, Alexia also knew how you would react to the team finding out about the relationship before you were ready. To make matters worse, she had no idea what she could do to prevent the secret being revealed because it seemed like the damage had already been done. Sure, she was the captain, but that title means nothing when it comes to her personal life which had already been invaded by the people she thought knew better. There was nothing left to do but watch it all come falling down before her.
Despite the odd teasing remark from Patri, you were still in a fairly great mood. The same couldnât be said for Ingrid and Alexia who sat at your table for lunch. It wasnât often that you stayed for lunch, and you couldnât have chosen a more unfortunate day to stay. Your two favourite people had pensive looks on their faces that stuck for the majority of lunch, putting you a little on edge throughout.Â
Ultimately, though, secrets had to come to light at some point. You never planned for it to happen in the way it did.Â
âDoes the happy couple want to join us for dinner later?â Marta, of all people, asked with a grin as her hands landed on yours and Alexiaâs shoulders as she came to stand behind you both.
âMarta!â Ingrid scolded immediately, but it was too late.Â
âWhat? Everybody knows that Ale is wrapped around her finger. Didnât take long, no?â She smirked down at you, taking no notice of the fact you had completely frozen.
Both Ingrid and Alexia rattled off arguments, trying their best to do damage control, though to no avail. The warning signs of an internalised meltdown were already taking over and shutting down your nervous system â the type of meltdown you knew was coming was sometimes the most exhausting type. Masking on its own took all of your energy, but masking an entire meltdown was a whole different thing.Â
You werenât safe here. There were eyes all around, people you werenât too familiar with, and nothing in this room, in fact in the whole building, could help you regulate yourself. In only a matter of minutes, everything around you turned into a trigger.
Martaâs hand still sat on your shoulder. Your skin crawled with the sensation of at least thirty pairs of eyes on you. With each second that passed by, the noise of the cafeteria grew louder in your ears even though in reality it only quietened when people realised what was happening.Â
Your hands trembled intensely under the table, you were sure Marta would be able to feel your entire body shaking, and your breathing quickened until hardly any oxygen was getting to your lungs. It was at that point where the intrusive thoughts kicked in.Â
The cherry on top of the cake in this scenario too is that it wasnât just about you, it was about Alexia too. So not only were you drowning in anxiety and fear and shame, you couldnât cope with the guilt that came at the fact you had dragged Alexia into all this.Â
Was now the time Alexia realised she could be with someone much better than you, now that the relationship was no longer secret? Now that you and all that was wrong with you wasnât hidden behind apartment walls and cafe doors, would she be too embarrassed by you to stay? What would your teammates think? You hadnât even been here for a full season yet, and you had already claimed their captain for yourself.Â
Those were the kinds of things swirling around your mind as the world carried on around you, but they were merely a drop in the ocean and definitely not the worst of them. Some were unimaginable, to the point where if any allistic person were to ask what went through your mind during a meltdown, they would be horrified by the things they would hear. You wouldnât wish a meltdown of any kind upon your worst enemy.
It was too much to handle. Too many eyes, too many opinions in one room, too many ways to be perceived. The only realistic option was leaving.Â
The sound of your chair scraping against the floor as you abruptly stood up cut through the tension in the room, bringing everyone to a sudden silence as they watched you leave the room as quickly as possible without it being classed as running away. You had no idea where to go, but your legs were taking you anyway, and at that moment it felt like you were watching yourself in third person. You were in your body, but you werenât present. Your mind was still back in that cafeteria, thinking and thinking over and over again, stuck in the fear of the fact you had just ruined the life you had built for yourself whilst you fully succumbed to the meltdown clawing its way into your body.
All you wanted to do was go home, to have the measly comfort of falling apart in the four walls of your flat, where you had the safety net of the fact that nobody was around to walk in on you. Instead, you had to settle for a place that still didnât feel safe and never would.Â
Somewhere in your subconscious you made the decision to find a spot away from everyone, ending up in a small, empty and unclaimed office. As always, your feet took you straight to the corner of the room furthest from the door, slumping down against the wall and sliding until you were sat on the floor. Your legs came up so that your knees were pressed tightly against your chest, further emphasised by the pressure your arms gave when they wrapped around your legs. It helped, the pressure your own embrace provided, but it was nowhere near enough to calm you down to a point where you could put a stop to everything happening inside of you.
There, in the safest environment you could find, you accepted the impending implosion, and let it wholly consume you. It wasnât a meltdown filled with anger and frustration, the type that led to a whirlwind of destruction, but one that had your eyes flooding and overflowing with tears that would inevitably lead to a nasty migraine afterwards. But in that moment, there was no after. A meltdown came with the sense that the world was ending, that there wasnât a life you could lead after it that wasnât ruled by the intrusive thoughts which ruthlessly ran rampant through your mind becoming a reality. That really would be world-ending.Â
For some time, you werenât convinced you were breathing. Your lungs felt so constricted by the heaviness that weighed upon your chest that you werenât sure you could stay conscious. There was ringing in your ears that deafened you almost, adding to how completely unaware you were of your surroundings. Nausea churned in your stomach, though you werenât in the state of mind to be able to recognise if that was a result of the anxiety overwhelming you or the constant rocking back and forth you were doing.Â
In fact, you were so oblivious, you didnât notice the door swing open, nor did you hear the figure at the door shout down the hallway outside the room to announce you had been found. It was only when gentle hands lifted your head where it rested against your knees that you realised someone was in front of you. And who else would it be than Ingrid.
âHey, snuppa.â The defender smiled sadly, hating how your face was completely void of emotion apart from the redness to your eyes and the tears still falling continuously down your cheeks.
It was in moments like this where Ingrid realised, no matter how much she tried, she will never fully understand the extent of the struggles you have. As she looked at you, she saw that your face was empty, anyone who didnât know would think you were just spaced out or something, but Ingrid knew there was a deadly storm kicking off in your mind. A storm whose weapons of choice were the tears streaming from your hauntingly blank eyes, and the sharp flashes of vicious words followed by the darkest clouds of shame and inadequacy. Nobody else would understand the pain of it, and it killed the defender that she couldnât do a thing about that.
âIâm so sorry that happened in there. They shouldnât have acted like that, not without coming to you first. They just⊠werenât thinking.âÂ
Why didnât they think about me?
âI should have made a better effort in getting them to stop talking about it.â
You knew? Why didnât you make a better effort?
âThey didnât mean anything bad by it, itâs just them being clowns, you know what theyâre like.â
What if they did mean something bad by it?
âAlexia is worried about you.â
I just want to go home.
âHome.â You whispered, shrinking back into yourself and away from the hands that were still on your cheeks. You hastily brushed away the remaining tears with shaking thumbs, though they were instantly replaced by new ones that didnât hesitate to fall.
âI can take you home, thatâs okay.âÂ
The person that helped you stand then, it wasnât Ingrid. It was just a body, a face you didnât recognise in your mid-meltdown daze. There was no longer a functioning world outside the confines of your beaten mind, your senses were completely overwhelmed to the point they no longer worked. An arm was wrapped around your waist as you were led to the car park, but all you could focus on was each step you took. Moving was difficult, so you poured all your remaining energy into making sure your legs could carry you to the car at least.Â
Whether people watched you on the way to Ingridâs car or not, you were passed the point of caring. The merciless thoughts werenât tiring anytime soon but they had exhausted you, beating you down until you were completely mindless. They had prepared you for your team to hate you, so that was old news by the time you were being guided down the halls and no doubt past their curious stares.Â
All of your belongings were left back in the changing rooms, including your phone and your change of clothes and everything else. Thankfully Ingrid was wise enough to know you didnât care about any of those things now, all you wanted to do was go home, fall into bed, and never leave again.
Thatâs exactly what you did. The time walked by before you as you watched the minutes tick by on the digital clock on your bedside table. At some point, Ingrid had peaked her head in to check on you and Mapi had come along to drop off your things whilst an anxious Alexia waited in her car in case you wanted her.
You didnât.
You couldnât face her right now, probably not for the rest of the day either. It was easier to be the rejecter rather than the rejected. Too often were you the one going through all the pain that came with rejection, and experiencing it at the hands of Alexia might just end it all for you.
Figuring out where to go from here was something that would have to wait a while. Hours, days, weeks, you werenât sure. It had been a tough day, the toughest in a while. Your last meltdown had been a destructive one â a performance that you deemed bad in a match you put way too much pressure on yourself for was enough reason to get so wildly angry, you had no choice but to act out. That was in the privacy of your own home though, not in a public setting, at work no less. The repercussions of it all were something you didnât want to face.
So you stayed in bed. For hours, you didnât move a muscle. The duvet covered you up to your shoulders and the scent of Alexia lingered on the fabric of the sheets, the most comforting mix of her perfume and the conditioner she used when showering the night before. And by the time the sun set, it felt like your bones had sunk into the mattress, as if youâd found yourself in quicksand or had fallen into concrete. There was no way you could make it out if you tried.Â
Nothing, apart from being thousands of miles away from the situation you found yourself in, could entice you to move.Â
â
âHave you heard from her yet?â Alexia asked desperately for perhaps the third time in ten minutes.Â
âNo, Ale.â Mapi sighed from the kitchen area.Â
Ingrid and Mapi had decided to let Alexia stay with them, knowing that the older girl was probably going crazy as a result of her anxiety. The Norwegian was somewhat familiar with how these things go for you, your alone time to try and regulate was an important step of getting back to being your normal self. However, she also knew that being alone could sometimes make it worse. She was stuck in between those two possibilities, wondering when the right time to step in was. It just didnât help when Alexia was pacing around the apartment or tapping her foot against the floor as she sat on the couch.
Mapi was making dinner for the three of them, whilst also ensuring there was an extra portion for you if you wanted to eat at any point that evening. They were all worried to some degree, but Alexiaâs concern had reached new heights. Last time this happened to you, you were alone for the whole night with no one to comfort you, and that thought made her sick. All she wanted to do was see you at least, then from there she could figure out what to do to help. Yet, she was still inexperienced, so the only thing she trusted herself to do was to listen to Ingrid, the one who had been around for almost eleven years longer than she had. Her patience was wearing thin, however.
âI just want to see her, I-â
âAlexia, listen to me.â Ingrid dropped the laundry she was folding and headed over to where Alexia was. She sat down on the coffee table in front of her captain and sighed just like her girlfriend had done a moment ago. âIn her mind, youâre probably the last person she wants to see right now.â
âBut why! I donât g-â
âListen.â Ingrid said sternly, silencing the blonde. âI know you are worried, scared, whatever. We all are. But we have to put our emotions aside and wait for her. Meltdowns arenât something that happen to you, they happen to her, so think about that for a second. She needs the time alone to regulate herself again, to allow her body to rest. It might not have looked extreme, but trust me when I say it was. Her own mind was attacking her but because she was in public, she forced it down and hid it. Itâs so intense, when that happens, itâs not just a mental thing but a physical thing too. You have to remember that what she experiences is so different to anything we will ever know, so everything from this point on has to be on her terms. Okay?â
No matter what anyone said to her in that moment, Alexia knew she wouldnât feel at all at ease until she saw you. But Ingridâs words did help, even if it was only the tiniest bit. It settled her because most of all she trusted you.Â
Once in the past, you had told her that your meltdowns were something that made you feel so out of control that youâd do anything to regain it back, to have some sense of the world again. Even if that meant extreme measures. That was the young, scared version of you though, you had told her. As an adult now, you were a lot⊠safer in your recovery methods. And she trusted you, she did, she just couldnât help but feel sickeningly worried. Nobody could really blame her, it wasnât a comforting thought to know she was in the same building as you, and yet there wasnât a thing she could do other than wait it out.
âI⊠I love her though.â She knew her arguments were futile, but it felt better than sitting there and doing nothing.
âYou love her?â Mapi asked in disbelief, followed by a tut from Ingrid.
âI love her. She knows that, right?â The blonde turned to the woman in front of her with a desperate look on her eyes.
âShe does. She does, Alexia, and I know for a fact that she does.â Ingrid placed a hand on Alexiaâs bouncing knee and squeezed it reassuringly; she understood how her captain was feeling, sheâd been in her place plenty of times before.Â
âI just want to take it all from her so she can feel better, so she knows I love her and I donât blame her for today.â Alexia mumbled, fidgeting with the drawstring of her training shorts that she still hadn't changed out of.Â
âI know. It's hard, but these are the times where she needs us by her side the most.â Ingrid stated quietly, hoping Alexia understood the gravity of her words.
âForever, Ingrid, I will be by her side forever. I swear it.â Her eyes had gone wide and her shoulders had lifted up into a shrug to emphasise her promise. Ingrid didn't doubt her for a second.
As much as she tried to resist, as the evening dragged on, Ingridâs patience started to wear away. Her concern was beginning to override her adamance to give you the space she thought you needed. She could tell, as she glanced around the quiet room save for the scraping of cutlery against ceramic, that Alexia and Mapi felt the same way.Â
Alexia hardly moved from her spot in the corner of the sofa, staring out of the window as her leg bounced anxiously. Mapi didnât know what to do with herself, because even though she wouldnât really play a major part in helping you come down from the state you were in, bar a few terrible jokes here and there, her world fell off-kilt knowing you were enduring such an awful time. You werenât as close with her as you were with Alexia and Ingrid, obviously, but she still saw you as such an important figure in her life that nothing was the same without you. She loved your near constant joy, you were quite possibly the happiest person sheâd met, and that was a big statement coming from someone like her. Your glee was infectious, and she was certain that everybody felt the same kind of unease when you werenât yourself.
The silence throughout the apartment that settled after dinner was so discomforting that waiting simply wasnât cutting it anymore. Almost as soon as the sun dipped below the horizon, they all hit their limit. It had been hours since anyone had seen or heard from you and waiting simply wasnât cutting it anymore. No one was brave enough to say it though. If they all marched up to your apartment, god only knows what reaction you would have. Nobody wanted to be the person that broke your trust.Â
It was Alexia that decided to take that risk.Â
âWhat if I went and checked on her?â She broke the silence and glanced around nervously at the other two, who then looked at each apprehensively. âIf she kicks me out, I will leave. But I cannot sit here and do nothing any longer. Itâs killing me.â
A few thoughtful moments passed by, before Ingrid groaned quietly and buried her face into her hands. At that, Mapi pursed her lips and answered for her.
âI think there is nothing else we can do but try.â The shorter defender answered diplomatically, nodding as she spoke. âThe spare key is on Ingridâs keys.â
âIngrid?â Alexia asked. It was important to her that she had Ingridâs trust as the Norwegian had dealt with this countless times over the past decade.
âYes. Go. Please be patient with her.â She pleaded in a fearful voice. At that, the Barcelona captain jumped up from her seat and went to leave instantly.Â
In the weirdest way, it was hard for Ingrid to hand over this responsibility. Other than Mapi, you were the most important person in her life. She had been the person you go to for nearly eleven years â she had seen you at your worst and recently sheâd seen you at your best. But with the introduction of Alexia into your life, as overjoyed as she was for you, it came with a strange sense of loss. Rationally she knew you were going nowhere of course, and yet she mostly felt⊠sad. It felt a little pathetic to her, that she thought of it like that, she just couldnât help it. Mapi sensed her girlfriendâs feelings and moved to sit by her side immediately to comfort her, meanwhile Alexia couldnât get out of the door quick enough.
Instead of taking the elevator, Alexia ran straight to the stairs and made her way up to your floor in mere seconds. The keys rattled in her hands as she headed to your apartment, and her hands shook as she tried to find the right key to unlock your door. When she missed the keyhole a couple times, she took a deep breath to calm herself and rolled her shoulders a couple times. In that split second, she knew, had you been there, you would have laughed at the slightly dramatic scene. As odd as that may seem, that little thought calmed her anxiety the tiniest bit, and with a final breath out, she unlocked the door.
Unsurprisingly, the lights were off in the apartment and the curtains were drawn, your way of blocking the world out. There wasnât a sound, and her footsteps bounced off the walls as she walked through the flat until she reached your bedroom door. She knocked on quietly, trying not to disturb the apparent peace.
âIt is just me, Alexia. May I come in, engel?âÂ
Exactly as she expected, she got no response. That was better than getting kicked out, she supposed.
âIâm coming in, okay?â
She opened the door and walked in on a scene that wasnât so unfamiliar anymore, and she figured she best get used to it anyway if she planned on sticking around. You were on your side, facing away from the door, like you were when Ingrid had been the one to check on you the last time this happened. Even as she padded over to where you lay, she got no reaction. It wasnât until she cautiously sat on the carpet, her back against the bedside drawers with her head turned towards you, that she confirmed you werenât asleep.Â
Once her eyes adjusted to the dark, she could see you were awake and staring absentmindedly straight ahead, through her even. Last time, she didnât see this part of you. She only saw the by-product of Ingridâs support and love. This was something that sent chills through her, not out of fear or intimidation or whatever, but because of the overload of emotions she felt at the sight. Never in her life had she felt such pain for someone else.
âHi, amor.â She whispered. Truthfully, she had no idea what to do, or where to start. Rather foolishly, she had underestimated the whole thing. âUm⊠I didnât want to leave you on your own any longer. I wanted to come check on you.âÂ
Normally, with everything Alexia did in her life, she had the confidence in knowing what she was doing and exactly how she was going to do it. This situation was something entirely different. But, if she was going to learn to do better for you when things like this happened, there was nothing she would rather do in this scenario than try.Â
âIngrid told me once that sometimes just sitting with you helps with the thoughts you have, so⊠I will wait here as long as you want me to. I love you.âÂ
She didnât want to overwhelm you, but at the same time she couldnât bear taking her eyes off of you. Just being by your side had eased some of her anxiety. She hoped it did the same for you.
âToday was a bad day, but thatâs okay. Bad days are okay. You can come back from them. I remember you telling me that when this happens, it feels like the world is ending. I know I canât stop your meltdowns but I will always be here to remind you that I love you more than anyone else I have ever met. And that people in your life adore you so much that nothing could change that. You are just you, all the time, and that might be my favourite thing in the world.â
The midfielder found herself rambling, which wasnât something she did very often at all, but the words flowed continuously. Whether you could hear her or were taking anything she said on board, she didnât mind.Â
Fortunately, you could hear her, and you were taking everything she said and holding onto it for dear life. With each word she spoke, you felt yourself coming back more and more. Those voices had been shut out by Alexiaâs tentative rambling. The tears that you knew would drop any second were the first sign of you becoming somewhat lucid again.Â
âI am not angry or upset with you. Today wasnât your fault. Not the outing, not the teasing, not the meltdown. You were just a passenger in it all, yet you got the worst of it. You donât deserve that. Iâm sorry.â
âNo.â Your voice was hoarse and hardly there when you spoke, and even though it was a short single syllable you uttered, it still cracked with emotion.
Alexia almost flinched at that, having not expected it at all.
âHm?â She hummed, shuffling a little closer to the bed if that was at all possible.
âNo sorrys.â You murmured. Alexia frowned, and she itched to reach out and stroke through your hair or cup your cheek or do anything to comfort you.
âOkay.â She nodded, unsure of what else to do. To scratch that itch from a moment ago, she brought her legs up and crossed her arms over her knees, a few fingertips of one hand outstretched to rest on the edge of the bed. âI⊠I donât want you to feel guilty. I think, in the end, maybe it was only a matter of time before everyone found out about us. They shouldnât have acted so nonchalantly about it, but I also donât think we hid it too well.â
âYou donât have to be here.â You completely ignored what she had said, too focused on your shame instead. Shame that stemmed from the events back at the cafeteria, at not only having a meltdown which brought those feelings on anyway, but having one in front of your whole club. This one felt so much more complex than any others youâd had in a while.
Alexiaâs resolve broke then â one of her hands cautiously reached under the duvet to find the hand of yours that wasnât resting underneath your head. She found it, balled up tightly against your chest, and with both of her hands now, she unclenched it and covered it, gently bringing it to her mouth so she could press repetitive, soft kisses against your skin.
âI don't have to but I want to. I need to, for myself, because you are my girlfriend and I need to make sure you are okay. I love you no matter how you feel, and even if me being here doesn't make you feel much better, I'm just glad Iâm here.â
Something about that struck a nerve. Before you knew it, those brewing tears made themselves known as they fell steadily. Alexia dropped your hand, which caused a brief moment of panic for you, until she rose to her knees and her hands landed delicately on your face instead. Her lips brushed against every tear that fell, kissing each one before leaning her forehead against yours.
âI love you. I donât want you to ever doubt that.â She whispered, because some part of her knew that it was her portrayal of her adoration that had finally cracked you.Â
It was exactly that. No matter how many times it was said, there was just some embedded insecurity within you that couldnât accept it when you didnât love yourself like this. Perhaps it would stay with you for life, but that didnât seem so horrifying if Alexia reacted like this everytime the worst part of yourself was so clearly on show.
âYou do make me feel better.â You manage to choke out in the midst of your sobs.Â
Alexia couldnât bear the feeling of not having you in her arms whilst you were crying so heavily, so she moved away only for a second before you felt the bed dip behind you. Then, she was gently urging you to roll over, which you did immediately. Her arms engulfed you entirely, and the pressure from her hug was so much more comforting than that of yours earlier in that heartless office.Â
She let you get it all out, even if it did take a while, but even when your sobs had subsided, she didnât move a muscle. For that, you were grateful. Being wrapped up and held tightly by her, your face buried in her chest, was so much better than laying on your own with nothing but the intrusions in your mind.
And when your thoughts cleared, you gained an ounce of clarity again. Neither of you spoke, but there had been enough emotions in the day that there wasnât any need for them. There was just one thing that you had realised, the brightest silver lining: Alexia loved you. Truly and wholeheartedly, even if you didnât understand it. Sure, she had said it in the past and shown it in various ways, though none of those occasions could ever live up to this one.
This one was her accepting the worst part of yourself. This was her sticking by you when you knew it was the hardest time to stay. This was it.
Having your relationship exposed might have seemed like the end of the world at the time, and though that thought hadnât completely left yet, it had given way for two much better realistions. Firstly, Alexia loved you. And secondly, apparently you canât mask love.
âIt really was quite obvious, wasnât it?â You would grimace the next morning when the pair of you ate breakfast in bed together. Your girlfriend, the woman that loved you, turned to you with an equally pinched face and you stared at each other for a few moments, until you broke out into laughter about it all.
That was the thing with Alexia â she made it all brighter and so, so much easier.
â
because what else do autistic people struggle with than the opinions of others đ« writing about a meltdown is hardddd so this took a lot for me to write, it's more than just writing anxiety when it comes to posting this one. it's depicting the part of myself i hate most. it's an unexplainable, awful awful experience but anyway i hope my words did it justice, i'm not sure about it but i hope you liked the story regardless đ«¶đŒđ§Ą
#fcb femenĂ x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#alexia putellas x reader#woso x reader#woso#woso community#alexia putellas#ingrid engen#mapi leon#fcb femeni#barcelona femeni#woso fic
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