#and then being so tired from just picking up groceries that you don’t have energy to make food

[warriorsatthedisco]

Man I used to sympathize people with chronic illness, but now I can really empathize. This shit sucks and it has the worst snowball effect too.

[anundyingfidelity]

WHAT IF...? — Soldier Boy/Ben (2)

Summary: Ben, now as your husband, gives up Vought for good and retires along with you far away from the spotlight and the big cities once you're pregnant with your first child. He knows better than to make the same mistakes his father did.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader

Word count: 900ish.

Warnings: none, soft Ben, OOC!Ben? idk, this is sweet.

GEN MASTERLIST! — DRABBLES MASTERLIST!

taglist is here!

PART 2

1990

The way back home was tiring to say the least. You and Ben had a weekend shopping schedule. It wasn’t the best idea John had for a funny Saturday, but you could tell he enjoyed being at the mall. He was six already, full of energy, joy, and eager to discover the wonders of the world.

From the passenger seat you moved slightly just to check on your son. He was already snoring in the back seat, drooling and sleeping peacefully as if it was his own bed. The sight of him just made you smile.

“He had a great time, huh?” Ben asked, giving you a side glance. He got better at driving after you gave birth, which you were so thankful for.

“Yeah, I mean, he’d definitely pick a baseball game instead but this is good for him,” you said back. “He’s been at home too much, don’t you think?”

“Hey, it's school break! Do you really love your kid?” Ben teased with a playful smile, you rolled your eyes.

“Shut up. All I mean is that I’d just like him to have friends and talk to other kids, do the normal kindergarten stuff… That’s all.”

Ben nodded more for himself. There have been a couple of weeks already, and he was more than happy to spend time with the little brat, but he got your point. You didn’t want him to be alone and the teacher at kindergarten had told both of you John was having some trouble with making friends and socializing in general. He was shy, but smart and creative, but even the teacher had some issues when talking to him at first. John wasn’t like that at home and it hurted you just a bit.

“Probably we should call Janine and some of the parents that were there in the last parent conference, you still have their numbers. We can do something for our kids to meet outside school,” you suggested.

“I think those moms were hitting on me,” your husband said, taking a last turn on the highway before heading home. He chuckled as low as he could when you patted his arm. You got pretty jealous at the last meeting when those ladies approached him, almost swooning. Even John’s teacher looked like she’d faint anytime. “What? I’m Soldier Boy anyway.”

“You’re an idiot.”

He parked the car outside your house after an hour of driving. There were some cons of living in the outskirts of the city, but as long as his family got the calm and green life around, driving for so long was not a problem.

You took John between your arms, careful of not waking him up. He weighed more and more each year, reminding you he wasn’t a baby anymore. He was taller, a good talker at least with you and Ben, he liked seeing the squirrels in the trees that surrounded the house, and he was very, very smart.

It felt like a day ago you gave birth to him, that he started babbling nonsense, and mere seconds that he started walking little baby steps… Now, his eyes were bright blue, his hair long and blonde, his cheeks sprinkled with freckles just like his dad…

Most of his factions were just like Ben’s mother, and she was beautiful from the old pictures he’d show you before. You were happy John was like an exact copy of her, you knew how much Ben loved her and how much her death hurted for him. John was like a reincarnation of her spirit, now sleeping in your arms.

Ben started to take out the grocery bags and some other stuff you had gotten yourself from the city, most of them puzzles, board games, and teddies John picked back there. As much as you tried to get him to reason to not buy unnecessary things, he would just spoil John a lot. But you understood why he did it. He was nothing like his father, he had time to learn how to be a better man, how to manage his own feelings and slowly, teach John to be a good man, even at his young age. You felt so proud of him, watching him discharge the bags on the kitchen counter with John clinging to you, deep in slumber, his little arms now wrapped around your neck to not let go.

When finished, Ben looked at you with a soft look on his eyes. You, holding his son, was a picture he’d never grown tired of. He would hit himself to confirm it wasn’t just a beautiful dream; it was real. You and John were very real, and he was thankful for giving up the superhero shit already. This could never compare to anything Vought offered to him before; what he built in there with you was everything he ever needed.

“I’m gonna take him to his room,” you mumbled, but before you could walk up the stairs, Ben approached you.

“I’ll do,” he announced in an equally low voice.

“You sure? I don’t want him to wake up-”

“John sleeps like a trunk, trust me,” Ben said, taking the kid softly away from your arms. John immediately wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck, hiding his face on the crook of his neck. He was so exhausted after the trip.

“Right,” you nodded. “Thanks, I love you.”

Ben gave you a charming smile, one that you never could grow tired of. He leaned down to kiss your lips softly, his new and trimmed beard tickling your skin a little.

“I’ll be here in a couple of minutes to help you,” he said.

You watched him disappear on the stairs to the second floor, John deeply sleeping in his strong arms, hugging each other.

Weekend trips like this were monotonous sometimes, but it was okay because you always came back home with your boys after all.

Soldier Boy taglist:

@delaynew @k-slla @thesilmarillionblog @onlyangel-444 @mrsjenniferwinchester

@daisy-the-quake @jackles010378 @mostlymarvelgirl @deans-spinster-witch @drasticemotions

@stoneyggirl2 @sapnaploves

@believeinthefireflies95 @demodemo909

[illitfiction]

FOREVER BEST | TOJI FUSHIGURO

⋆𐙚₊˚ premise: your husband toji reminds you who his forever girl is.

⋆𐙚₊˚ tags: husband toji + wife fem reader. divider creds: cafekitsune.

⋆𐙚₊˚ cw: explicit nsfw! established relationship, dirty talk, breeding, baby making.

You feel like time is taking longer than you anticipate. 

The pregnancy stick stays on the table as you stay close by. You’ve been all over the place in the room, either pacing back and forth or fiddling with your fingers as you sit quietly in bed. You force yourself to take a deep breath as you wait a little longer. Does it usually take this long to know the outcome of the test? 

Will you know if you are pregnant or not before he comes back? 

Your phone chimes somewhere in the room and it’s the timer you set alerts you. You pick up the pregnancy stick, having done this before a couple of times. The anticipation grows. You just hope that the outcome is something you’ve been hoping for so long. 

The second you look at the pregnancy test, a weight sinks into your stomach. A cloud of despondency aches in your chest. It’s the same outcome you had on the previous attempts. A result that you’re tired of seeing after several tries; not pregnant. 

You think of Toji and Megumi. Their faces flash in your head. You don’t know what to tell them about the test, especially your husband. You and Toji haven’t talked about expanding the family two years after being married to each other. You hope to surprise him because Toji’s the man you love with your whole heart and soul. You thought if you and Toji keep trying, you would eventually fall pregnant. But it seems that the time right now isn’t the time yet. 

A youthful, boyish voice greets you from downstairs. You realise that time has passed and Toji and Megumi have returned from grocery shopping. Megumi calls for you once again; he’s looking for you. You know that your little boy gets sad if he can’t get to see you as soon as he arrives home. “Welcome back!” You greet from upstairs. 

“We’ve got the stuff,” Toji says. Megumi repeats after his father enthusiastically. 

“I’ll be down with you guys in a second.” 

You discard the pregnancy test in the bathroom’s trash bin. You don’t think Toji would notice the contents inside or pay any attention to it. As long as it’s out of sight and out of mind, you can at least move on with your day despite the disappointment. Right now, you need help making dinner for your hungry boys. 

* * * * *

After reading a bedtime story for Megumi, you return to your room and Toji’s room. 

Reading stories to Megumi is your favourite part of the night. Little butterflies flutter in your stomach and love blooms in your heart whenever Megumi calls you  mommy. You may not be his biological mother, but you treat him like he’s your flesh and blood. You remember when Toji introduced you to Megumi from the very start of courtship, stating that he and his son are a package. The moment you met the little boy, who was only three, you felt protective of him.  

When you enter, Toji has gotten out of the bathroom. You think he must have taken a shower whilst you were with Megumi. Your husband smells of sea salt in his hair and mango on his skin. You think the scent suits him rather well, despite his physical appearance; large, muscular and tall like a tower. “What’s tonight’s bedtime story about?” Toji asks when he sees you. 

“It’s about Rumpelstiltskin.” You reply. “Gumi’s worn out tonight. He told me he’s been chasing Yuji, Nobara and Sukuna during a game of tag today. The energy level is pretty low.” 

“He told me about that too,” Toji says casually. He glances at the corner of his eye at you as you mindlessly brush your hair at the vanity table. The reflection of your face in the mirror tells him that you’re much occupied at the moment. Toji contemplates his thoughts, whether he should speak up or not. Unsure how he should react to your confession. Or your reaction even. 

After giving it a little more thought, he decides that he should. 

“Baby,” Toji calls you using one of the nicknames. 

“Hmm?” You turn around and your expression changes. The second your eyes land on the object in his hand, you freeze. Toji’s holding something that looks familiar to you. Your eyes widen, standing up from your seat, and your mouth gaping. “Toji… I–” 

“What’s this?” Toji asks. His staring suspends the silence in the room for so long.

He knows what is in the possession of his hand. The pregnancy test you did earlier. You were certain that you did dispose of it in the bin before he came back. Memory fails you; you certainly did throw it away, right? In the bathroom’s toilet bin? It should have been but somehow it’s in your husband’s hand. Your heart palpitates inside you loud. 

Toji knows what it is, but he waits for your answer. He’s got a hunch because it’s obvious what it is. Still, he wants to hear it from you first. You’re like a deer in headlights as you stare at him with a doe-like look in your eyes. You look away with a solemn expression. He knows from that look, you’re not sure what to say to him. Guilt rises in you at every mere second of quietness from you. Toji’s towering height looms above you and fingers are on your chin when you haven’t looked at him for a while. He gently lifts your face to look at him. 

“Talk to me, doll.” Toji coaxes softly. For an intimidating man, he’s always tender with you. His green eyes have you captivated and it’s difficult to look at anything else but see the worry in his gaze. “Take your time.” 

You exhale softly, “I thought I would be pregnant. Guess that it didn’t happen this time.” 

You stopped taking birth control pills when you and Toji tied the knot a year ago. Your gynaecologist said the effects would wear off over time to let your body adjust to the change. You weren’t sexually active with previous partners until you met Toji. The two of you are protected most of the time, relying on condoms and birth control pills. 

For as long as you can remember, you’ve always wanted to build a family of your own. And when you meet Toji for the first time in a bakery a few years back, he’s everything that you love and dream of. It didn’t matter if Toji had a wife before and an infant was Megumi, you still wished to marry and grow a family with Toji. A family of you, Toji, Megumi and maybe three more children; your family of six, surrounded by the people you love. 

It’s only been a year since you and Toji did it without protection. You don’t know if you should tell Toji what you think of yourself. Scared that it may be true when you finally say it out loud. You don’t know if you’re ready to accept the truth after all this time. “I… I feel like I’m not upholding my duty as your wife, Toji.” 

Toji doesn’t say anything, and the bedroom stays quiet. A heavy sigh escapes out of you with an unspeakable truth you yet need to tell him. It’s been consuming you with guilt, hurting you, and it feels shameful to finally say. You force out a tiny smile and try to avert your eyes elsewhere. What would it mean for you and Toji? What would it mean for the dynamics of the family? You think about Megumi and your lips quiver just a little. You can’t give the family you want Toji to have, and you can’t give Megumi the siblings he can grow alongside and make memories with.  I’m sorry, Toji.

Emotion wavers in Toji’s green eyes as he stares at you. Toji thinks to himself, recalling any times that he ever pressured you to give him another child. You’ve done so well for him and Megumi. You accepted him and loved him like he’s your flesh and blood. You never showed distaste for him the minute Toji revealed his secret to you. You’re so kind, so wondering even now. And especially to him; for accepting that his past happened and giving him a chance that he deserves to be happy. 

“C’mon here,” he softly says. The moment you come forward into his embrace, Toji’s arms secure you and hold you around your fast. You press yourself into him, you are buried in his chest. “I’m sorry if I ever pressure you about this, lovebug.”

“You didn’t, Toji.” You mumbled. He feels you resting the side of your face on his chest. “I just… feel like I’m not good enough to give you what you want.” 

A tear trickles down your face, forcing you to shut your eyes. Your arms tighten around your husband. A finger is placed under your chin, titling your face up and Toji’s lips meet yours. He kisses you delicately, cupping your face in his hands and it feels like you’re gravitating towards him, tipping on your toes to press your lips onto his deeper. 

When the two of you pull away from each, you feel the heat of his mouth and his breath fanning your lips. “Don’t ever say that,” Toji whispers, resting his forehead on yours. “You and Megumi are all I ever want and more.” 

Toji swipes away the tears on your cheeks and plants a kiss on your forehead. “And you’re more than good enough for me. Never forget that.” 

You smile at him. Though it’s still desolate, you feel a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. “I just want to grow a family with you,” 

“We are family, baby. You, me, Megumi and the dogs.” 

“I want to extend our family. For Megumi to have a brother or a sister that he can grow up with.” You say. “Megumi’s mum gave you her little blessing.”  And I want to do the same.  

Sometimes, you feel disappointed in yourself in comparison to Toji’s previous partner. Even though she’ll always have a special place in your husband’s heart, you know that Toji moves forward with you. You can tell that Megumi’s mother is a wonderful person hearing from your husband, though not that it creates jealousy in you. You respected her and you’re glad that she gave birth to such a beautiful boy like Megumi. 

You hope that you can do the same for Toji too. To watch Megumi play along with his potential siblings, whether that would be playing together or arguing as siblings would do. 

You look at your husband. His brows furrowed, green eyes focusing down on you. Toji is quiet and for a moment, you’re worried you’ve said too much. Parting your lips, you’re ready to speak up but Toji gets to you first. 

“You want me to fuck a baby into ya’?” He chuckles lightly close to your ear. There’s a glint in his eyes and he caresses your bottom lip. The heat from his thumb sends shivers down your back. “Hm? Is that it? Wanna make me a daddy another round?” 

You blush under his gaze. His grip tightens on your hips and you feel his face close. Toji towers over you and you feel tiny underneath him. Almost curling into his embrace. You feel his face close, his breath hot on your mouth. Toji’s chest vibrates when he lets out a throaty chuckle.  Fuck, he mumbles.  You’re so cute. 

Toji smashes his lips on yours and it nearly knocks the breath out of you. You instantly melt into the kiss and his arms, letting him take the reins of what comes after. 

He lifts and scoops you off the ground. Bridal carrying you to your haven and his. Neither of you breaks the kiss, still in the moment of heat and passion. Toji lays you on the bed and soon crawls on top of you. He doesn’t stop peppering kisses on your skin; from your lips and down to your jugular. You feel his hands around the waistband of your pyjama bottom and kindly lift your hips so that he can pull them off smoothly. 

Toji breaks off the kiss to look at you, though it doesn’t last long. The second kiss that crashes on you is needier and devouring. Like he’s ravaging you with his very last breath. Your hands grip his biceps as you pull him as close to you as possible. There are moans in the room and you’re unsure whether it’s from you or him. But they mingle together in breathy gasps and throaty groans. 

Toji unbuttons your nightwear and you feel slowly exposed to him. The silk garment brushes against your skin, followed by your husband’s large hand warming you up. “No bra tonight?” He asks, caressing your bare stomach and waist down your body. 

“I didn’t feel like wearing it.” 

You see the way Toji’s mouth curves up into a smirk, a naughty one. Bringing himself forward to your aching breasts. When your nipple is in his mouth, your husband suckles and lets out a pleasuring groan. It has you squirming underneath him. Hot and wet by Toji’s tongue with one nipple. Being fondled and lightly pinched by his callous fingers on the other. You can’t move around with your husband’s weight on top of you – not that you wouldn’t want anything else but to be underneath him. 

“How long have you been wanting this, hm?” Toji towers above you. A whimpering moan from you replaces the response you’re supposed to give him. Your head’s spinning in pleasure. 

“I gotta prep you first before you take in Daddy’s cock. Gotta loosen up that tight pussy of yours before we start. That okay pretty girl?” 

You feel the tip of Toji’s fingers tracing your labia and it has you squirming. Slippery and sticky against his calloused fingertips. He glides his thumb between your folds so easily till it reaches your little pearl. You whimper and squirm on the sheets, tempted to close your eyes to feel more pleasure. 

“T-toji…” Your chest rises up and down. Soon, you arch your back the second he slips a finger into your hole. Plunging in and out slowly. You feel more arousal flowing as he continues, not long after Toji slips a second finger in and does the same. “Oh, oh!” You gasped. 

“Good girl, that’s it,” Toji praises you. “Nice and wet for your daddy, hm?” When you no longer feel him inside you, Toji lifts his hand mid-air, showing you the glistening, clear liquid on his skin. He shoves one digit, then two into his mouth, licking them and pulling it out with a dramatic pop. “Wish I could have a taste of you. But I’m running out of patience.” 

Toji is off the bed to pull down his pants and he soon returns in front of you. He’s fully naked and glowing under the bedroom lights. He grabs you by the thighs, aligning your cunt between his cock. The sight of his broad chest, muscular biceps, sharp outlines of abs and the V-line has you speechless and in awe in anticipation. 

You watch as Toji fists his cock in his hand, coating it with his leaking precum. He shuffles himself forward and aligns himself between you. Holding both your legs by the thighs. You feel his member hot and pulsing on your folds. Blood rushes through your veins and your clit twitches excitedly. You look up at Toji, coloured eyes in mixtures of lust and trust. 

“I love you,” you confess a little breathless. 

Toji looks at you with a smile, his expression gentle and he caresses the side of your face. “I love you too beautiful.” 

Your breath hitches when Toji pushes himself bit by bit, breaching into you. You moan and Toji groans when he’s finally bottomed out. You’re trying your best not to squirm at the feeling of him adjusting his throbbing member. The world spins around you, squeezing your husband’s dick inside you. It’s not your first sexual act with Toji but it always feels as if you’re learning new debaucheries with him. When you see his green eyes, you can see that Toji’s holding himself back. Clench jaw and shallow breathing. And he still smiles down and cages you in his arms like you’re the most precious thing to him. 

“I’m okay.” Your voice softens. Toji starts moving his hips slowly, stretching you out and letting you adjust to him. Custom to his forgiving thrust. Both your legs are unsteady for you to put your feet on the bed. “Gentle?” Toji asks. 

When you shake your head, Toji chortles. “Good girl.” 

After a couple of thrusts, he begins to move at a pace you’re familiar with. It’s consistent, impactful force thrusting that soon morphs into a relentless speed that has you clawing and gripping onto the sheets. 

“There’s my beautiful doll,” Toji praised. “Taking daddy’s cock eagerly, letting him fuck you. Letting me breed you fully.” 

You whimper, feeling the bliss you’re fed with. Wanting to arch your body up against him.  You like that, huh, Toji questions. He smirks above you and you think he purposively thrust himself into you with a little more force than his previous attempts. 

“Wanna be my baby mama, huh? Is that what you’ve been thinking the whole time?” Toji asks. Your face feels hot. His grin grows wider and wider, almost sinister, when you nod eagerly. “Making me a daddy a second time like I’ve always wanted? Gosh, you feel so good.” Toji moans a little. “The moment I first saw you. The moment I introduced you to my son.  The moment I decided to make you mine.  That’s when I’ve always known you are meant to bear my children.” 

Toji holds both your legs by the thighs and pulls you towards him. He continues to plunge himself, thrusting faster at ease. Your head tilts back with a moan, clawing the spaces next to you, gripping the sheet above your head. You feel your thighs push onto your chest as Toji towers above you. He might as well fold you like a carrier seat if possible. 

“Oh my god, Toji.” You sound breathless. He fucks you like he’s on a mission. Not missing the opportunity to get you pregnant and be his baby mama. The idea of you sharing a kid with Toji genetically warms and cools below your belly. You know that he would make a good father. 

“Fuck, I feel you trying to grip me.” Toji’s jaws tighten. He huffs through the thrusts and you watch his upper body move underneath the bedroom lights. “But you’re dripping, doll. Look at you wetting my cock and letting me slide in you so easily.” 

You can imagine Toji’s view when he looks at you; moving up and down in bed, bouncing breasts with every thrust. He hits your spot every time, the tip of his cock bruising your cervix. And when Toji spreads your legs a little more, you feel every rigid, vein of his throbbing member inside you. 

“Let’s try this.” Your husband suddenly says. You’re confused when he stops but the moment Toji slips his arms under your back and has your legs pushed up to your chest, he swifts you up. Earning you a yelp at the loss of gravity but you immediately forget about it when Toji resumes. 

The new position has you slicking more with arousal. Toji chuckles and thrusts himself harder, faster which has him cursing under his breath about how good you feel. Your legs are dangling over his shoulders, with thighs pressed onto your chest and trusting Toji to secure you in place. 

“You wanna come?” The room echoes Toji impaling you. “Yeah?  Fuck  – come with me together. I know you’re close.”

You whimper in response. Toji’s thrusts are starting to be sloppy and he is close too. Every impact he impaled on you has your head spinning and squeezing your cunt in excitement. A wave of shock hits you, convulsing as you reach your orgasm. “T-Toji…! ” 

Through your climax, Toji still keeps on going before he reaches his orgasm inside. As soon as he pushes himself in with a hard thrust, Toji groans in your shoulder. He comes inside and you shudder at the feeling of his load. Toji rocks his hips gently and lays you down back on the bed at last. 

You run your fingers through his hair as Toji rests on top of you. His fingers trace your side and the two of you are content with the quietness and warmth of each other and from one of the most mind-blowing sex you ever had. 

You rest your eyes but hear what Toji says; “we have many more rounds to go, doll.” He shoots you a devilish grin. “Don’t fall asleep on me just yet. I need to make sure you’re filled with my load of come for weeks to get you knocked up.”

* * * * *

“Oh, thank you for bringing the plates, Gumi, baby.” 

Megumi stands you his kiddie plate after he finishes his dinner. Though he’s only five years old, Megumi adopts the habit of helping you and Toji every dinner time. You and Toji take turns doing the dishes; today’s your husband’s turn to do it tonight. The water runs at the sink as you pass the used plates and cutleries to Toji. 

You feel a tiny presence next to you; you smile down at Megumi. “Do you want to have your bath later?” 

Little Megumi nods. He then points to your husband, “Wanna help Baba dry the plates.” 

“‘Course you can, bud,” Toji says. “It’s you and me against loads of dishes tonight.” 

Megumi lets out a little ‘thank you’ when you hand him a drying towel. He steps up onto the child-friendly stairs and stands next to his father. Soon after, the two of them are in their world together, talking to each other. 

Your heart flutters and you smile for the nth time tonight. “I’ll go get the bath ready.” You announce. You kiss Megumi’s temple and leave a couple of kisses on Toji’s clothed back. “Have fun you two.” 

“Love you, mama!” Megumi yells. Despite walking away from the kitchen, you hear Toji’s distant voice. What about me?, he asks Megumi. You try not to laugh when his son says that he loves you a little more than Toji, and your husband gasps in pretend betrayal. 

Out of sight from the two of them, you’re now alone on the way to the guest room. There’s something that has been on your mind. When you enter the room, it gives you the space to think. It’s been almost a month since you told Toji your desire for a baby. He’s been nothing but amazing to you that night; tending to your carnal needs, giving you the most intense pleasure and orgasms that has you sore for a couple of days. You blush to yourself when a memory of you and Toji that night comes to you, and a reminiscing smile blooms on your face. 

You’ve had sex with Toji so many times but for some miracle, it hasn’t knocked you up yet. Despite how good Toji fucks and makes love to you that night, you might not necessarily be pregnant from it. It may have been a few weeks ago and if you remember correctly, your regular period should be arriving in a couple of days. 

You look at the pregnancy test in your hand and think to yourself. Could it detect your possibility of being pregnant before your period starts? 

You used the guest bathroom and did what the instruction said on the test kit. Once you’ve peed on the stick and set your timer, you have to wait. The pregnancy test stick is left in the bathroom on the counter, whilst you stay in the bedroom. 

The door knocks. When you look at the door, you see that it’s been opened and Toji sticks his head in on the other side. He must be looking for you. “There you are. I thought you would be in Megumi’s room for bathtime.” 

“I will be in his room soon. Just needed to do something before that.” 

Toji strides towards you. His fingers lace in your hand, holding you as he studies your face. “Hey, you okay?” 

“Yeah,” you flash a smile. “I… I’m waiting for the result of the pregnancy test.”

Toji squeezes your hand gently. “No matter what the outcome turns out to be, I love you. You know that. If you ever need a reminder, I can always do a repeat of what happened a few weeks ago…” His voice trails and gives you a raised brow of coyness. 

You laugh and playfully nudge his ribs. Toji pulls you into him and wraps his arms around you. “Quit teasing me, Toji,” you say. 

“Can’t help it when you’re my forever girl, couldn’t I?” He chuckles. The two of you stay with each other and hold. Indulging in the quietness and letting time pass by. You’re so thankful that Toji and Megumi are in your life. A family that you couldn’t ask for anything better. 

The timer on your phone tells you that the wait is over. Toji lets you go and gives a nod, reminding you that he’s here for support. You let go of his hand and disappear into the bathroom, not long after emerging there. With the pregnancy test clenching in your hand, you take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Toji grabs your free hand and the caress of his thumb on your skin soothes you. 

You cover the message of the pregnancy test with your thumb. When you look down at the test and remove your thumb to stop it from covering, you see the revelation. Your breath shakes as you place your hand over your mouth. You didn’t think it was possible. 

“What is it?” Toji asks. You look at the stick in your hand, then at your husband, at the pregnancy test again—your open still gapes, surprised at the news in the palm of your grasp.

You turn the stick to face him, revealing what shocked you. It’s Toji’s turn to be surprised. His green eyes widen and before you know it, he scoops you in his arms and lifts you. The room is filled with surprised laughs and giggling excitement. 

You and Toji live in the moment and when he holds you, Toji rests his forehead on yours.  Thank you, he whispers and you’re thankful to him as much. Your wishes have come true. 

You’re pregnant. 

THANK YOU FOR READING! DONATIONS OR GIFTS ARE WELCOME.

[lemonlover1110]

Baby Steps

Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 25] Progress

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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

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For the past four months, Satoru has experienced being a father to the best baby in the world. Satoru quite literally cannot fathom the thought of loving someone more than he loves the little baby that’s strapped to his chest. And there’s nothing he loves more than hearing his little baby laugh as Satoru cuts up some strawberries.

“Is that funny, Seiji?” Satoru asks as the baby laughs, looking at how his father takes a strawberry and magically makes two of them. There’s no better sound than his baby laughing at Satoru doing the bare minimum. Seiji’s simply Satoru’s favorite human, he always will be. The same laughter emits when Satoru cuts up yet another strawberry.

“Satoru, aren’t you going grocery shopping?” You question as you walk into the kitchen to find him cutting up strawberries just to entertain your baby. He hums in response.

“Are you coming with?” Satoru responds and you shake your head. He’s noticed that you avoid going out. The most you go out lately is to the balcony of the apartment to take a breath of fresh air. He doesn’t want to call you out on it but it worries him.

“Do you want to take Seiji with you?” You ask him, and Satoru nods. Satoru insists on taking Seiji out, and while you try to say that inside Seiji is safer, Satoru just wants to show off his baby to the world.

“He helps me pick up ladies.” He jokes, making you roll your eyes. You’ve been dating– Not officially but you’re affectionate with each other and act as if you were dating. It’s like the beginning of your pregnancy, just this time you aren’t all too worried about labels. You’re both more focused on Seiji than anything; Satoru does want to make it official though, he just wants to make it special. “I was thinking… Maybe next week we can call Kaya to babysit so we can go on a date.”

“Depends on where it is.” You answer, and Satoru can’t bite his tongue.

“Why are you scared to go out?” Satoru brings up, and you shake your head. You’re definitely not scared to go out, inside it’s just simply safer. You chuckle.

“I’m not scared to go out.” You claim, but he really doesn’t believe it. The evidence makes it clear. You barely step out of the apartment.

“You know that we’ll have to move out eventually? We have to look for a house for the five of us, and I can’t exactly pick it out by myself.” He points out, and you end up sighing. “I know you refused to go to therapy but you should really consider it.”

“I’m fine.” You reply, and as the words leave your mouth, Seiji begins to fuss. It’s always funny to see Satoru bouncing to try to calm the baby down, Satoru’s hand going to Seiji’s tiny foot and caressing it. It doesn’t work, and he takes Seiji out of the carrier. You take the baby from Satoru and you kiss the top of Seiji’s head, “You wanna stay with mommy, don’t you?”

“He’s a traitor.” Satoru rolls his eyes. But only God knows that he would give up his life for that tiny little traitor.

-

Maybe Satoru is right, that’s all you think about while trying to go to bed. With Seiji you barely get any sleep, and you want to take advantage of every minute that you get to sleep, however, you can’t fall asleep even though you’re so tired. You’re just thinking about your son, how you’re refusing to go outside and how if you refuse to step a foot outside again, you’ll miss so much from his life. That’s the only thought that consumes your mind and it doesn’t help you sleep.

“Satoru.” You try to get his big arm off you because you hear your baby crying. Satoru is also exhausted; not only is he working but every time Seiji cries, Satoru tries to go to his rescue. Of course, he doesn’t have an unlimited source of energy so he’s bound to get tired eventually. Satoru rolls over and you get out of bed to get Seiji before he wakes up the sleeping kids.

You turn on the light of the nursery and smile as you walk over to your baby. You pick him up and kiss his forehead before walking to the rocking chair to feed him. You never really thought that at twenty one years of age you’d be breastfeeding your son but here you are. Worst of all is that you’re not even officially dating his father– No, worst of all is that you’d do it all over again just to be able to hold your son in your arms.

Once he’s finished, you smile at him. You were thinking that the older he gets, the more he’ll look like you but it feels like he just looks more and more like Satoru. You boop his nose before your hand caresses the little hair that he has on his head. Maybe it isn’t ideal to be a mother at such a young age, but you’d do anything for Seiji.

“I love you, Seiji.” You tell him and he coos. You can’t wait to hear him talk, but you also hate the thought because it means he’s just growing faster and faster. You want him to stay small forever but you also want him to grow up to be his own person. 

And you can’t stay locked inside forever while it happens. 

You rock him until he’s finally asleep again. You kiss his forehead before standing up and putting him in the crib. You turn off the light and walk back to the bedroom to go to sleep. When you lay in the bed, Satoru’s arm goes over you again. He cuddles into you, and a smile comes to your face.

“Everything okay?” He asks, his voice barely comprehensible since he’s three quarters asleep.

“He was just hungry.” You answer. His nose buries in your nape, and you feel a smile creep onto your face. “You were right, I should go to therapy.”

“Really?” He wakes right up, his eyes shooting open. You hum in response. He brings you even closer to him before asking, “Why?”

“If I stay inside forever then I’ll miss so much of his life… And maybe with that help we can start a relationship and whatnot.”You respond and you feel his lips on your neck.

“Aren’t we technically in a relationship? We’re sleeping in the same bed and we–” He begins but before he can finish the sentence, you cut him off.

“I mean… We weren’t technically in a relationship when Seiji was conceived. And do I need to remind you that you were dating Leiko while we–”

“Leiko doesn’t count, not a real relationship.” He interrupts you because he doesn’t like to remember that part of his life. It hasn’t been a year since it happened but he wants to pretend like it never happened. He did all that to protect you… And he wonders how the secret spilled. How Suguru got to know about you and your pregnancy. He wonders if he should really look for the person who spilled the secret because he’s vengeful and he doubts he’ll let the person live after you were so close to death. “I’m glad that you want to get help to be a better mommy to our son.”

“I’ll do anything for him.” You say.

“I know you would. I would too.” He responds. He kisses your shoulder before he tells you, “I love you.”

“We should go on that date.” You tell him, a smile coming to his face. And while you said that you wouldn’t have more kids, that was right after giving birth. The more time passes by, the less you remember the pain of giving birth, “If all goes well, maybe in a couple years we can have another baby.”

“I like that idea. We have to have a daughter so we can give her your name.” Satoru says which causes you to laugh. You do want a daughter. Your smile fades when you feel something on your back.

“Satoru… Does the idea of getting me pregnant turn you on?” You ask him as you feel his erection on your back. He tries to deny it as he lets go of you and rolls to the other side out of embarrassment. You go to hug him, kissing his cheek, “I’m flattered, really. Especially with how I look now.”

“How do you look now?” Satoru sounds completely confused. He turns again so he can look at you. You end up shrugging, looking away slightly embarrassed. His hand goes to your chin and he tilts your head up before pecking your lips. “You truly have never looked more beautiful. It takes everything in me to not pick you up and drag you in here. You’ve never looked hotter.”

“You’re flattering me.” You chuckle, and he brings his lips to meet yours. You can’t help but smile at him. He really makes you happy even if he irks you at times. 

“You’re really the most beautiful woman that has ever walked on Earth.” Satoru tells you and you have a stupid smile on your face. You wish you could fight it off, but it’s impossible. “I would knock you up right now if you’d let me.”

“Hmm…” You laugh before kissing him again. “I was about to have sex with you, but you scared me off.”

“I said if you’d let me.” Satoru insists, but you shake your head. 

“I’m just really tired right now, maybe tomorrow.”

-

“Alright, which one will hold Seiji?” Satoru asks as he holds Seiji with one arm, and the other holds a camera. Megumi points at Tsumiki while she raises her hand. Megumi saw the last mess Seiji made in his diaper, and he isn’t going to risk that happening to him. Satoru smiles as he hands Seiji off to Tsumiki. He makes sure she holds the baby right.

You told Satoru you wanted a picture of Seiji with the kids, and of course he’s trying to do so while you have your first therapy session. You’re in the bedroom, talking in the phone with them while Satoru tries to arrange the kids in the living room. They’re all wearing a cute outfit, a matching blue color. Satoru arranged the furniture so he could have a blank background for the picture of the kids.

“Stand next to Tsumiki and Seiji, Megumi.” Satoru orders as he gets the camera ready. He has to make it fast because he doubts that Tsumiki will be able to hold Seiji for too long. “Okay, smile. Say cheese.”

Megumi smiles, showing all his teeth and it makes Satoru roll his eyes. He won’t argue about it though. He snaps his fingers to get Seiji’s attention, and when he does he makes a stupid face to get the baby to laugh. When the baby laughs, Satoru snaps the picture.

He looks at the picture momentarily, but he only looks at his baby boy without caring to check how Megumi and Tsumiki look. Satoru picks up Seiji from Tsumiki’s arms. Then when he holds the baby, he looks at the picture: Megumi’s awful smile, Tsumiki blinked right on cue, the only person that looks adorable is Seiji. That’s all he cares about, the Gojos can’t look bad in any picture.

“Can I look at the picture?” Megumi asks and Satoru shakes his head. Megumi pouts his lips, and when Seiji sees it he laughs. That fills Satoru's heart up with joy.

“Oh, you’re just so cute.” Satoru kisses the baby’s cheeks. Then he holds Seiji up to blow a raspberry on his tummy, “I can’t wait to show your mommy the picture.”

“He doesn’t look like you, that’s why he’s cute.” Megumi says, and Satoru doesn’t pay any attention.

“Tsumiki, will you argue with your brother?” 

[whalesforhands]

of domesticity and groceries (satosugu x reader)

warnings: spicyish, adult gojo, making out(?), day 5 of my promised gojo-centric writing streak

“Shh… Don’t deny me this right now.”

You’re pressed into the wall, a stocky arm caging you in as your hands pressed against his chest, the thin fabric of his compression shirt allowing you to feel the lines, creases of his corded muscle. You’re getting kissed hard, cornered and with nowhere to escape from your lover as he takes what he thinks he deserves.

Your feet are barely on the ground anymore, the sheer restlessness Satoru faced after coming back urging him to grab you and smother your entire being with his longing yearn for his significant others.

(You sure want to thank him for all those workouts he does. You still can’t believe how strong he is sometimes.)

He’s mouthing against your jaw, trying to get you to give him access to your pretty neck, still littered with fresh bites and kisses that overextended into vigorous activity from barely a few hours ago.

“Aren’t you— Tired?” Your voice is small, compressed into a small whisper that whimpered out from the confines of your throat that was trying to constrict your sounds, desperate to muffle your cries.

(You have a point. You only just witnessed him step through the front door, practically tearing off his jacket before he whined for your embrace.)

His hand is slowly making its way up your thigh, feeling your bare skin underneath the pads of his fingers as he steals a kiss from your sweet lips.

“Not when I’m with you.” The familiar heat burns from your middle at the sound of his deepened voice, the way you felt his hand ascend to your waist, greedily enjoying the touch, his lips self-indulgent as they felt the plushness of yours, the feel of you in his arms after a long mission.

This is perfect.

(Just what would he do without you around?)

“Suguru said-“ You’re pulling away before an impatient hand is placed at the back of your head to drag you back into the throes of passion. Tongues insatiably entangling, breaths stolen with every pant, every moment of lovely boldness from the strongest sorcerer.

“That—“ You take a moment to breathe when you finally manage to escape his compelling seduction. “He’s coming back with the kids in 15 minutes.”

“Sounds like plenty of time to me.” He’s scooping you up, arm beneath your knees and the other just under your shoulders as you’re picked up in a princess carry.

Eh? Wait. Wait!

“Satoru—?!” You’re sputtering as you feel him approach the familiar long corridors of the shared home, making a beeline towards the master bedroom.

“I-I said 15 minutes, not 50!”

He’s humming as he continues his trek up, a naughty hand coming over to slap your behind as you yelp.

“I heard you right the first time, sweetheart.” His cheeks are practically aglow with excitement, eyes behind the bandages already upturned into happy slits as he continues to enjoy the very presence of your cursed energy surrounding him.

“Now how about we take a nice, relaxing shower to celebrate my return?”

——

“Welcome back, my dearest husband and beautiful children!” His upper body is draped with an oversized tee, sweatpants on and sunglasses over his eyes as he leans over you, snuggling his cheek onto the top of your head as a cute grin is flashed towards his family at the genkan.

“Daddy! Mama!” There’s a crash of many items dropping onto the floor as three little girls run up to and cling to the lanky man. The little boy carefully places his bag upright, walking close and nodding up at the man in bashful acknowledgment as Gojo smiles down at him.

(You’re gushing over how cute they’re all being. Meanwhile, Megumi had already made his way over to you, letting you rub his head.)

“I’m so happy to see all my wittle cupcwakes again!!!” He’s letting the girls tug and rub at his fluffy white hair, pull at his cheeks, tug at his clothing.

(Megumi’s fighting an internal battle in his head to not let the utter look of disgust show on his face. So he hides away his annoyance by leaning his head against your navel.)

“Daddy, did you buy sweets?!”

“Did you beat up the bad guys real good???”

“Did you take any pretty photos!?”

“Girls, girls.” A smooth voice cuts through the home as Geto Suguru finally comes through the door with a wide array of reusable eco bags filled to the brim with different foods. “Don’t make Daddy overwhelmed now, he just got back afterall.”

“Hello, my darlings.” Suguru’s smiling face is brighter than ever as he sees the both of you awaiting him and the kids, a chaste kiss pressed to your forehead and a rub to Megumi’s hair when he gets close enough to you before his gaze focuses to the girls smothering his partner.

“Kids, remember to place the groceries in the kitchen and fold the eco bags. Tsumiki, the ice cream goes in first, okay?”

“Yes, Papa!” Tsumiki is immediately leading the way for the twin girls and Megumi, the young boy choosing to carry the heaviest of the bunch of groceries Geto had relinquished to them.

Two whole cartons of milk.

He’s grunting a little as he struggles forth, even shooing away an approaching, worried Mimiko with a wave of his hand and a grunt. Eyes determined and alight with the willpower to see his task through till the end.

“I’ve got this.”

(He’s excited to get praised for this when he sees the proud smile and excited giggling as you observe him.)

Suguru’s sighing when he feels a kiss on his cheek from Satoru, the slight flush of his face giving away his excitement to see his significant other again.

“You’re finally back, huh?”

masterlist

Notes:

Suguru is actually carrying the heaviest items out of all of them. The various cereal boxes, about 4 more cartons of milk, meat, fish, the eggs, more snacks, more sweets, a sack of rice and several others.

He has actually summoned a smaller, flying curse to help support Megumi as he held up the milo cartons. (What the little boy doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?)

Suguru can very much see the fresh new bites on you. “Tsk, tsk.” His head is pressed onto your shoulder from behind. “Can’t believe he’s already so rough with you after just coming back. Gonna have to teach him a lesson later.”

[ratsoh-writes]

T,S,Sf,Fsr,Fsg

Skellie's have a S/O that four months into the relationship reveals that they have the power to of doors. The ability to go through one door an exit out another as long as they know what the doors look like. They don't use it to invade the privacy of others but they're always just awkward about telling people. How skellies react?

Sorry if this is weird

Sans: so sounds like a shortcut, but linked only to doors? Sounds like SO must be a secret mage. Sans wonders if they may have some sort of cloaking or metamorphic ability too. Ghost mage can be a pretty good bet for this set of powers. He’s geeking out over SOs possible heritage now

Papyrus: that’s so cool! So like, just any door, really?? Any door? Do they have to fit through the door for it to work, or does the door have to be light enough to push open. What if the door is locked?? He wants to test this out now!

Star: what if he put a door in his itembox and you step through? Can you finally see the inside of an item box that every one is so curious about? Thankfully honey, who is well versed in the disaster that is putting two bags of holding together in dnd is there to put an end to that idea. One must never trust item boxes.

Honey: you should never pick random doors your remember unless you’re absolutely positively certain that door is the same. You think he’s being overprotective, but he’s not! Honey is sure that there could be dire consequences to the door being damaged! Dnd taught him so!

Mal: oh cool, so you could potentially go to the grocery store any time as long as you remember what the door looks like? Now mal has started sending you pictures of the fronts of stores when he’s feeling too lazy to pick something up himself lol

Cash: what happens when you stand one foot in one door and one foot out the other? And what if someone else stuck their arm through it too at the same time? That would make a marvelous prank you know~

Lord: oh! Well that’s convenient! Do you loose energy doing this, or does it feel just like walking through doors. Are you sure you aren’t a mage? It’s rare but they do pop up randomly sometimes. Maybe you have a great great great (couple more greats) ancestor who was a monster or mage

Mutt: cool, but don’t think it’ll let you run from him, but don’t take it too much for granted. You never know what’s waiting on the other side of the door. Mutt just wants you to be safe.

Wine: he’s taking you to the doctors to get yourself tested. After all, being a mage means different physical requirements when it comes to nutrition, medicine, and even sleep. If you’ve been living as a normal human this whole time, you must be awfully tired all the time

Coffee: what does it look like? The limbo between doors? Do you see the void? He saw his mums notes once that wine keeps close to his chest, and coffee thinks that must be the closest thing to what she researched

[masonmiamor]

tell me you love me - - mason mount x reader.

stfu bc why is this gif so cute 😭🙏🏻 💕

Part two to my last fic! You can find that here!

feedback is appreciated! request are currently open so feel free to send ideas and or concepts 🫶🏻

Three weeks passed and still no sign, you felt like the damage was already done and there was no hope left. You could feel yourself lingering and wanting to reach out but you couldn’t find yourself with enough courage to pick up the phone and communicate with him.

Three weeks later and you had enough, you were angry with yourself and him. Mostly yourself because you knew better and had better value to yourself. You weren’t just going to be used over and over again to not get the same energy back?

The temptation to call, to hear his voice was so bad, and it hurt you more than it should’ve. But you weren’t going to make the first move, it was always you. You initiated the conversations and you were tired of having to be the bigger pants.

The only things that helped you forget were reading or watching movies. You went out with your girlfriends but ended up having the worst time. How were you letting this all consume you in the worst possible way?

Work helped you distract yourself, not having to worry about what went inside your head rather being focused, and tasked to finish your job. Today was one of your days off after having worked for three weeks straight, so you decided with a little self care day.

Taking a longer walk in the morning, passing by to buy some new clothes and makeup, shoes, and even a new small purse. Before you went home to your flat, you had two more locations to attend, the bookstore and grocery store.

You loved walking around taking glances a new and latest books or those that came up on your recommendations on social media. You had a few you wanted to buy, so after ordering an ice coffee of your preference, you grabbed a small basket and strolled over the store. Grabbing books, reading the titles and small summaries, flicking through pages to see if it grabbed your attention.

“Buy it.”

You glanced up to see the one and only Mason, leaning against a shelf, you looked over at him, seeing his disheveled hair, his now longer beard, him wearing an all black outfit. You looked around and saw no one, it was almost empty, you took one last glance at the book in your hand before putting it back.

“I-I-I, How did you know I was here?” he looked at you for a minute before shaking his head. “I was here already… This is where you spent most of your time, and I wanted to get something from here as well…” he said shyly, his cheeks burning red. You furrow your brows together, “You? Buying something from a bookstore?”

“Yes, it was for you,” he took his hand from the back showing you the romance book you had talked to him about a couple of weeks ago. Your favorite trope, with a happy ending. You look up and attempt to read his face, but he just stares so attentively to you. “I remembered you talking about it before we went to bed, and-”

“You were actually listening to me?” you say surprised. Mason looks taken back, almost shocked, “Don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t think you were listening to me that day, especially about a book,” you say, attempting to explain. Mason looks down and fidgets with his hoodie strings feeling guilty.

Mason steps closer, you can immediately smell the cologne and aftershave on him, reminding you he was actually there and not just your imagination playing with you. “I always listen to you… About anything and everything,” he confesses. Your mouth slowly gapes open and you try to mutter a response out.

“I read the back, and a couple pages… The characters remind me of us, and what we have, that something special can’t be easily forgotten,” Mason hints. “That when love hurts you but overall makes you happy, it’s real,” he continues.

“I want to talk,” he deadpans. You continue searching and analyzing the book, so confused about what was going on, not trying to confront him just yet. Were you ready to suddenly open up again and talk with him? No and yes. “We’re talking…” you whisper. He cocks his head to the side giving you a “are you serious look”.

“Y/n,” he says seriously.

“Mason,” you challenge, crossing your arms over your chest. You sigh and return the book back to him, “You can’t just buy me a book and expect everything to be okay you know? It won’t work like that,” you say, trying to keep your voice smooth and not reveal the nervousness. “I know it won’t work, I wish it could because I know how happy books make you feel, anything to see you smile again… I would do it. That’s why I'm asking to talk.”

“What if it doesn’t fix things and makes things between us worse?” you find yourself asking, rubbing the side of your arm. Mason was still yours, and you were still his, but thinking about the fact it could no longer be that way scared you. It hurts already but that would be more than painful. “We will never know unless we talk,” he says honestly, taking closer steps.

“I’m just as scared as you are. The same thoughts,” he admits. You jump at the opportunity to escape when you hear a person coming by, reminding yourself you still had errands to run. You quickly blink and clear your throat, “I need to go buy groceries still. How about I meet you in mine in about an hour and thirty?” you say shyly.

Mason nods, “Thank you Y/n.”

When you get into your car, you blink fast, still trying to process seeing him again, and what he said to you. After you calmed down you made your way to the store, played some music, and just looked ahead to the destination. Your mind went back to him, almost bumping into someone as it distracted you.

You bought many snacks and drinks to have more in stock. But you also did buy the missing vegetables, meats and fruits that were missing from your fridge. You planned to make something on the easier side today so you quickly grabbed bread and some cheese from the bakery and deli.

Truth to be said your hands were full when you walked into your flat, you never did have patience to make a double trip, so with much strength in you, you only made one trip when bringing in groceries.

Mason wasn’t here still, so after putting everything away, you arranged the new bouquet of flowers, the living room and your office, well more of a room where you could escape and just read away. Your doorbell ringing startles you, but the sight of Mason has your pulse raising quicker than before.

“Come in,” you say, hearing him thank you. Mason carried a small white bag on his right hand and a smaller bouquet of your favorite flowers on his left. “It’s a small something but I had to buy them when I saw them. They’re your favorite,” he says chuckling. You look up and smile, seeing his smile grow wider at your sight.

Mason attentively watches as you grab a separate vase for his flowers, but makes notice of the freshly new ones on the dining tables. Did you or someone else get those for you? If someone did, then who? He thought.

He follows you into the office room or more of your safe space in your home. You set the glas vase on your desk, opening the white bag to find the two books you talked about that night, along with some chocolate and cookies from your favorite bakery. He clears his throat, walking over to you when you put the new books on the shelf.

it was now or never, the two of you thinked, without knowing it. Your body shifted straight towards him, bringing him into the long and anticipated hug. He felt warm and so perfect between your arms, you didn’t want to let go, it was capturing and a feeling of safety overwhelmed you. When you pull away your foreheads rest against each other, your arms dropping to your sides.

Mason rubbed his nose over your cheek, his hands softly gripping just above your elbows. Your hands remained by your sides, not knowing what to do, he whispered again, “Forgive me.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, your face slightly leaning into his, “I can’t, I-I-I don’t know,” you let out, but you know deep inside the man here pleading for you is the one. He always has been since day one.

“Forgive me… please,” Mason says again, the sincerity in his voice is laced with a tint of begging you. You slowly bring your hands to grip his sides, and he lets out a small groan, “Jesus… Your hands are like silk Y/n…”

“Tell me what’s running through your mind baby, it’s the only way we can help each other out here,” Mason says along the crook of your neck. “Be brutally honest with me, even if you think it may hurt us, or me. Say what you have to say.”

“I have so much to say, because at the end of the day, I’m still hurt by your doings. I won’t blame it all on you, because there are always two sides of a relationship, but you hurt me and I'm scared to let you back in after three weeks.,” you sob out, suddenly back away creating space between you. You can see Mason close his eyes sadly.

“I was there for you mentally and physically but when I asked that from you, I never received it back. It wasn’t fair Mason, it was always me. ME! Who had to fix us always when something went down. Me who had to put the pieces back together even though they weren’t properly prepared.”

“I know you from the back of my hand Mason. We got so close to a point where it was lust and love combined. I was so consumed and convinced you would maybe one day realize what you were doing affected me, and us. But it never came, and I don’t know when it will,” you let out wiping the tears away from your cheeks.

“I’m losing hope here Mason… I’m doubting your love for me and it’s making me feel useless and unwanted. I understand you history and respect what you went through but I don’t know if you’re waiting for the first opportunity where I fuck up to leave or if you’re stuck believing i’m like the others… I can barely read you-”

“You consume every single thought that runs through my mind. Every single one. I get it, I know i fucked up. I know I should’ve committed and communicated with you better but you have to believe me when I say I'm madly in love with you Y/n. How could I not love the woman who hasn’t left my side even after I hurt her?” Mason cuts you off. His words sound as if he were confessing his love to you all over again.

“How could I not love the woman who no matter what stayed by my side during my difficult moments? The one who brought me breakfast in bed excitedly, the one who would kiss my head gently before I left, the one woman who no matter what will prioritize you over herself. I’m so inlove with you Y/n, I can’t make that up…”

“You're the women of my dreams. Always have been, and always will. I know I have given you the opposite of what you expected but that was due to the constant overthinking I did and insecurities taking a toll… My biggest fear was becoming a reality that night I left. I can’t bear the fact of one day losing you and not having you in my arms again Y/n.”

All the talking drags you to sit on your couch. Covering your face when you hear footsteps approaching you and kneeling down facing you. “Let me prove it to you how much you mean to me, let me prove to you I can be the man you need. Let me prove to you just how much I love you, even if it means buying you all the books in the world you dearly love,” Mason says, dragging his hands from the soft carpet to the sides of your legs.

“One more chance please? There’s so much in store for us still, and I only see myself doing them with you,” he says, his brown bright eyes pleading you. The glossy look on his face tells you he’s being for real, not like those past times where he would promise and not live up to his word. Your hand softly meets his cheek, his eyes gazing from your bracelet to your teary face. Mason leans his head on you hand, relishing the feeling and closing your eyes.

“You have to talk to me, Mason. I can’t know what’s going through your head when you shut me out. You can’t plan and do something just to not stick with it and finish in the end,” you say, Mason nods, a small smile spreading on his face. His tears now dried on his freckled skin, “I love you. Forever. I don’t know how you’re so strong to do this, but I will make things right from now, I promise.”

For the first time in forever your heart races and butterflies spread across your chest when you hear him say I love you. The tingly sensation that spreads to your spine declares the effect he has on you. Mason was the one for you, and it will take time to slowly gain back to a stronger relationship. You weren’t so quick to give up but he wasn’t either. Only fate knows how things will end, but in your mind the brown eyed and haired boy was for you.

“I love you Mason,” you lean down grabbing his chin and kiss his lips softly. He sucks in a breath and brings his hand to the back of your head deepening the kiss. He would never get tired of how your lips molded into his, the way you tasted across his lips had him in a daze, it was never enough. When you pull back your thumb pulls his bottom lip down. “This is just the start,” you recall.

“It is a start. But it’s the start to a happy ending for us.”

[k-a-s-e-y-1-4]

Lloyd gets kidnapped again but what happens next is up to you?:

Warnings: Talk of someone being used as an object, sexualization of a minor

Lloyd was running again. Well Lloyd’s been on the run his entire life but that’s a different story. Right now he was running from two hooded figures who tried to attack him and he would have knocked them out and handed them over to the police, however they both pulled guns so Lloyd just started running. 

He didn’t get a good look at either of their faces as they were completely covered up by masks and he’s kicking himself for it now. Whatever it’s fine right now he had to worry about out running these two wannabe kidnappers. 

A gunshot rings in his ears and he ducks and keeps running. Shit they’re getting closer they’re fast. Most the time when people try and hurt him he can either put them in their place or out run them but these two were certainly an exception. 

He hopes Kai and Jay won’t be too loud for running off. Kai and Jay went into the Grocery store to grab somethings for dinner tonight because Zane was cooking tonight and Zane needed special ingredients for this meal. Lloyd wanted to go get the latest comic for his collection and then he meet up with them outside when they were done. This time he finished his shopping before them so he was sitting on the bench outside when they both came up and attempted to jump him. Hence the attempt Lloyd could have totally kicked their asses had they not pulled out a gun, where’d they even get guns? 

Lloyd begun to slow down as he couldn’t hear them coming after him anymore. Good, he was getting tired although he wouldn’t admit it. Sure he’d have to take a different, longer route home today but it was better than running all the way. 

He felt something cold and hard on the back of his head and a deep voice that said, “Don’t move a muscle or I’ll shoot.” 

Lloyd moved his hands up and looked up to find the second dude standing in front of him and glaring down at him. Damnit Lloyd thought he out ran them apparently they out smarted him. 

“Josh c’mon we don’t have all day, I want my money.” The dude infront of him stated.

So this dude’s name was Josh, good to know and they were getting paid so someone else had to be the cause of this. 

“Alright, alright calm down, damn I thought I was going to have to shoot him.” 

He felt the surface leave the back of his head and then heard wind rushing and suddenly he was out, as his vision blurred to black and lost consciousness quickly. 

                                    -

Lloyd struggled in the chains, trying not to make too much noise as he had no idea who was on the other side of the door. He tried to open the lock with a Bobby pin he had turned into a make shift lock pick. Don’t ask him where he got the lock pick. 

He had woken up chained to a chair in a dark room with its only light coming from a small lamp that hung above the table in front of him. He couldn’t remember anything else than he was running from people but he can’t remember who. Honestly this whole place reminded him of an interrogation room but based on the aching pain from the back of his head he doubts these are his buddies from law enforcement’s doing. 

How many times had he been kidnapped now? Had to be somewhere near 20 now at least. Lloyd hears the familiar click from the cuffs behind him and he can slowly feel the energy rush from his powers coming back. He slips his hands out of the vengestone cuffs. 

Before he can decide what to do next he hears footsteps nearing and manages to make it look like he’s still in the chains before the door opens. Not that he couldn’t take the person at the door it’s just most villains go on a rant about what they’re going to do and Lloyd wants at least a little bit of an idea of what he got himself into. 

The door opens to reveal a man in his late forties - early fifties, in a tight black suit. He shuts the door behind him as he walks in. 

“Welcome back to the living green ninja, how was your nap?” He stands on the other side of the table staring at Lloyd with a smug smile.

Lloyd didn’t recognize this man nor could he think of single way he could have affected him. “It was nice, now if you would I would like to get back to that.” 

The man lets out a chuckle. “Quite snarky are you?” 

“Listen I don’t care what you have to say about me, can’t we just get to the revenge speech where you tell me what you want?” 

“Oh don’t be so impatient green ninja, I mean I had to wait for you to wake up, you could at least let me give my speech.” He replied.

Lloyd sighed. “Well go ahead I don’t have all day.” 

He gave Lloyd a look. “Huh, well I can see why the boys liked you so much.” 

Lloyd gave him a confused glare.

The man leaned on the table and stared him straight in the face. “Such a pretty face on a waste of a man.”

“I’m not sure if that was homophobia, pedophilla or a little bit of both but I want no parts of it dude.”

“I’m just saying it’s such a waste for someone like you to go unused I’m sure you make a ton of money with a body like that.” The man’s says beginning to circle the table. 

“There’s so much in that sentence that’s disturbing but I think the worse is that you’re like 70 and checking me out, sir I’m like 17 hell no.” Lloyd musters out disgusted, backing up as much as he can in his chair. 

“Wow 70? C’mon I know I don’t look that old.” 

“Yeah you look older, is 85 right?” 

He gives look a glare. “You’re quite rude, I hope you know that.”

“Well I’m sorry I don’t give respect to someone that refers to me like a prostitute, oh wait I’m not.” 

“I wasn’t calling you a sex worker I was just-“

“You were sure as hell implying it, I know that.” Lloyd interjects. “Is that why you snatched me? To fuck you?” 

“No! I’m sure you’d be a fun time we have a different need for you.” The man replies.

“And that is?” 

The man grins. “Well this facility needs a power source y’know?” 

Of course why is Lloyd not surprised. They always want to drain his powers why couldn’t it be something interesting at least. 

“So we brought you here to drain your powers.” The man continues. “Possibly kill you, I don’t know, hey if you survive I’m sure you’d make a lovely pole dancer.” 

With that Lloyd had heard enough. He slipped out of his chains again and blasted the man before he had a chance to think. He slammed hard into the wall and crumpled on the floor. Lloyd took his chance and ran towards the door that surprisingly wasn’t locked and had no guards around. The door seemed to be in the middle of the hallway with no one in it, neither seemed to a dead giveaway to lead out either. 

Lloyd wasn’t sure what to do, he obviously didn’t want to stay but he didn’t want to just randomly chose a door and end up captured again. 

What’s next?:

Go left and hope for the best

Go right because right is always right

Climb and hide in the ceiling to get more information and hopefully get out

[archivistofnerddom]

The Bad Batch and Costco headcanons:

Because I have it in my head that they would be the family that needs to buy things in bulk. Once it was there, the headcanons followed.

Hunter

He’s usually the one responsible for their food purchases. The grocery list he takes is long, extensive, and heavily annotated with everyone’s preferences.

The most tired dad in Costco award goes to him. Trying to corral the rest of the Batch is a losing game, so he’s figured out how to divide and conquer, sending everyone out to pick up certain things. (They don’t always follow through with what they were supposed to get though, hence why he wins the most tired dad award.)

He’s willing to stop and try samples though. Hunter needs snacks to get through this gauntlet with the full family. Plus, focusing on food keeps him sane and his senses in line.

Even still, he’s always down to get a hot meal from Costco’s kitchen after check-out. It’s the only time that day the whole family agrees on anything and is in the same place in the store.

He’s usually in possession of one of the family’s membership cards and definitely has one of their debit cards. There will be few surprise purchases on his watch. (There are always surprise purchases on his watch.)

Crosshair

Disappears almost as soon as they walk in the door. He appears out of nowhere to deposit what he wants in one of their carts (because they have many) and disappears again. (Coffee and dark chocolate are pretty much the only consistent items he adds.)

He can usually be found hanging near the check-out lanes with a mountain of coolers and boxes at the ready for when they’re checking out.

It’s an unspoken rule in their local Costco that no one tries to filch any of the cardboard boxes from his horde. Legend has it he will throw hands to defend his stash. Few dare to test that assumption.

The one responsible for ordering food so that it’s ready to eat once the rest of the family is through the check-out line. Don’t ask how he always times it perfectly. It’s a mystery not even Tech could solve.

Unsurprisingly, he usually garners a following of moody teenagers who just don’t want to be there. He gives off the same energy most of the time, even if he’s just trying to catch a nap. It’s a crapshot if Crosshair actually likes that the moody punk kids want to hang with him. They’re just afraid enough of him to ask.

Tech

Tech can be found in the auto section and the electronics section. He knows precisely what they meet and has already shopped the best deals.

He needs several texts and alarms so that he doesn’t get lost in conversation. (Hunter isn’t above sending Wrecker to go re-claim Tech, if he doesn’t show up after a timely fashion.)

Like Crosshair, he’ll just drop whatever non-electronic items he wants (such as snacks and what have you) into the cart after he’s finished his assigned tasks before he disappears. He usually winds up hanging with Crosshair to wait for the rest of the family.

Tech is only sometimes in charge of the family Costco membership card and debit car. He can’t be left fully unattended though, if only because he’ll go overboard with purchases.

Can be used to distract the moody punk kids who want to vibe with Crosshair, while also having Crosshair use his shoulder as a pillow.

Wrecker

He has to go with Hunter, if only because he’s usually on cart duty. (Wrecker also needs to be supervised, or else he’ll grab all the snacks.) Being on cart duty doesn’t stop him from having a great time. He’s that guy who can push the most improbably packed cart with true expertise.

Guess who will still sneak in special treats and surprises for Omega into the cart? This guy.

Wrecker gets geared up for the post-Costco run family meal. He’ll eat an entire pizza all by himself, if left unattended and unsupervised. (Crosshair buys extra for him because of that.)

He’s the most enthusiastic about trying samples and will always encourage Hunter to stop and try. Wrecker knows when his brother needs a break from the chaos.

Wrecker and the Costco employees who run the sample stations always get along. He’s so nice to them and complimentary to them. This is the guy who will always wind up getting extra samples handed to him.

Echo

He’s usually on Omega duty, if only to make sure she doesn’t sneak off on them.

Echo also is usually responsible for stocking up their pharmacy needs and buying some clothes in bulk for the family. With how hard their lives are, getting clothes in bulk is necessary.

He’s always in charge of one of their membership cards and a debit card. Echo is the most responsible one on that front.

That doesn’t stop him from conspiring with Omega to find some fun things for the cart. It’s always something random, but will brighten up their chaotic lives.

Echo is most likely to pass out once he eats though. He’s happy to get off his feet and to have a chance to relax. Walking around Costco takes effort sometimes, especially with his prosthetics.

Omega

Like Wrecker, she makes friends with everyone who gives out samples. She’s the reason why Echo stays fed before they check-out.

Omega would walk out with so many large squishy toys, if she could get away with it. That’s why she and Wrecker can’t be in Costco together and unsupervised. They’d have so many comfy squishy toys and hammocks if they were.

Somehow, she gets covered in stickers and starts sharing them with her brothers. It doesn’t matter where she got them. Omega has stickers books and she shares them. Little kids love her because she inevitably turns into the feral sticker fairy of Costco. (Who knows how the parents to said little kids feel about that.)

Omega is very serious about making sure her brothers all walk away from each Costco trip with a surprise in the cart. She gets sneaky about getting them past Echo and Hunter. (Wrecker provides distractions as appropriate.)

Remember those moody punk kids who were hanging around Crosshair (and inevitably Tech)? Well, Omega chats all of them up. She’s the best person to embarrass the crap out of her brothers with stories. Omega makes her brothers look either way cooler or significantly less cool when she shares stories with the punk kids.

[darksigns-exe]

Sweet Like Honey - I Am Your Dagger

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol, Panic Attacks Word Count: 3.8k

Read on AO3

Tasha is there when she makes it through customs, with a sign and everything. Since Bee has known her they haven’t gone much longer than a couple of days without seeing each other so being apart for half a year was quite the task. They hug for a little too long, but Bee is too tired to care or worry and there’s so much she has to say and so much she wants to know. The long flight home and the mental exhaustion of the last weeks had finally begun to catch up with her. As happy as she is to be back home, it's hard to feel excited when she’s so exhausted by all of it.

“I got you some groceries and some stuff I thought you might need. We are, however, going out for dinner today. Just you and me. We have to catch up.” Tasha says as they walk back to where she has parked.

She only listens in parts, most of her energy is focused on making it back to the car in one piece. It’s been a good half year – a hard one, but good nevertheless. And right now she feels the weight of it all crashing down on her. Come tomorrow morning it’ll all be different, but right now she wants to hide under her covers and shut out the world until her head stops feeling as if it is full of cotton.

“They’re already gone?” Bee asks when the topic shifts to the band, as it so often does.

Tasha nods “Two or so weeks now. I honestly thought that touring was gonna stop Noah from being in such a shit mood but man I think it only got worse.”

“Did something happen?”

Tasha lets out a huff “I was gonna ask you the same questions actually. One moment he doesn’t stop talking about you and the next he’s got the most sour look when someone mentions your name.”

Bee has to admit that it stings. And she really doesn’t know how to react to it. She can’t remember something happening, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot. Not when she had been gone for half a year immediately after he’d bared his heart to her.

“I don’t know what it is with that guy.” Tasha shakes her head “Jolly says he’s been drinking more.”

For a moment Bee feels as if she should call him again – let him know that she’s back, but truth be told she doesn’t even know if he’d pick up. He hadn’t the last five times she tried to call.

They’re silent for the rest of the drive back to her apartment.

The things Tasha had told her wouldn’t leave her mind. She feels oddly responsible for it all. She doesn’t know if it is her fault. Maybe something she said got lost in translation somewhere or maybe it was just the distance that had made him drift away.

They drop off her bags at the apartment before driving back to the house to pick up Barnabas. She takes the shirt that she nicked on that last day back with her. Tasha must have washed it at some point. The only thing left in the fibres was the clean scent detergent. None of him had stayed behind and it feels awfully final.

The house is mostly empty. One of their friends is there when Tasha and Bee get there but he makes no indication that something is up. Bee leaves the shirt on his bed. It’s only fair that he gets it back. She feels too tired to be upset about any of this. The heavy feeling in her chest is drowned out by the buzzing pain in her head.

She texts him again when she gets home, just to say thank you for babysitting Barnabas. To her surprise, he replies this time but it’s strangely cold and curt and not at all how she remembers him. He doesn’t ask about her flight or how she’s settling in. It’s barely even a sentence.

The dinner with Tasha is tainted by the mess of emotions in her head. She doesn’t really listen to what she tells her, but one thing catches her attention.

“Noah said something about you getting yourself a fancy European boyfriend?” She leans across the table “Why do I have to hear that from that goober and not you personally?”

Her mind blanks at that. It’s like that movie cliche where the puzzle pieces finally click into place.

“I didn’t.”

“Are you sure? Because Noah sure thought that you’d stay back there and dump all of us for that guy.”

Bee hadn’t thought that things like this actually happened. That people could actually manage to be so insufficient at communication that they mess up their shit so excellently.

Thankfully, Tasha drops the matter and moves on to something else. Bee isn’t sure if she should be angry or relieved. Technically this is an easy fix but the fact that he was so willing to just accept this assumption as fact made her irrationally angry. By the time she gets home, it’s simmered down a little. She still doesn’t know where he picked up that Ben is anything more than a friend. He’s never been more and he would never be more. The mess in her head brings her unrestful sleep, but it’s sleep nevertheless.

Bee doesn’t feel much better when she wakes up the following morning. It’s all routine and rules to keep herself from falling out of line. She has a week off before she returns to work. A week to collect herself and pick up her life here. She doesn’t know how to approach this, because no matter the angle she can’t stop herself from being disappointed and angry. He could have just talked to her. They’ve talked about so much that just asking if she was actually seeing someone shouldn’t have been such a big deal. It just won’t work in her head. A simple question about who Ben actually was to her could have solved all of this. How was she supposed to know that Noah would be so quick to jump to conclusions? She knows that there’s a good month left before the band comes back home. Truth be told Bee isn’t sure if she’s happy or upset about it. Because the sooner they deal with this the better, but right now she doesn’t think that she can have that conversation with him. There’s still too much frustration boiling inside her chest and as much as she wants this dealt with, she doesn’t want it to be harsher than necessary.

Her week off passes quicker than she wants it to. But work keeps her busy and her mind off of Noah. The anger quickly fades away though and Bee returns to this strange limbo where she doesn’t really know how to feel about it all. The days are fine for the most part, but when she’s alone in her bed at night her mind goes back to how comforting it felt to be close to him. She doesn’t dare to check his social media, partially out of fear of seeing something she really does not want to be real. She can’t blame him though. If Tasha was to be believed, and she’s inclined to believe Tasha over most people, Noah’s convinced that she’s entirely over him. It would make sense if he’d move on. And Bee catches herself thinking that maybe it is for the better.

Another two weeks pass until Tasha lets her know that the band is in town and that it’d be fun if they’d go. Just to see some familiar faces. She’s reluctant but after a little work from Tasha, Bee eventually agrees to go.

The venue isn’t far from where she lives so if it does get too much she has an easy way out. It’s a good night so Bee puts in the effort, perhaps only partially for herself. Tasha meets her at the back of the venue and they’re let into the place by a guy she faintly remembers to be Matt. Bee has never been backstage at a concert, hell she doesn’t even go to a lot of shows anymore. Tasha confidently leads her through the maze of hallways until they reach a little secluded area to the left of the stage. Bee feels more than a little out of place. Everyone here looks as if they fit in and in her mind, she sticks out like a sore thumb. There might as well be a sign above her head with a big old red arrow alerting everyone to the fact that really does not feel at home here. It’s worse when Tasha disappears for a moment. She tries to keep herself busy, scrolling through her phone as if that would make her mind slow down. Tasha returns before she has time to drift off too far. The drink in her hand soothes the worries just a little. With the pleasant buzz of whatever mixed alcohol she had procured for them, Bee feels herself ease up enough to stuff her phone back into the back pocket of her jeans.

“We’ve missed the opener but that’s fine. I don’t like that guy anyway.” Tash says as if it’s supposed to mean something to Bee.

She nods and lets Tasha continue to lead the conversation until there’s a sudden commotion behind them. From where she’s placed herself on a crate she can see the familiar shapes of both Nicks moving towards them. A few steps behind them she sees Jolly turning back to who can only be Noah. Even from this distance, she can see that he looks exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes are even more prominent than she remembers. It worries her more than she likes to admit. She doesn’t know if it’s because she’s looked at him for too long but eventually finds her looking at him. Bee can’t read his expression, he’s too far away and the light is too low for her to actually make out much. She gives him a faint smile and that seems to snap him out of whatever trance he is in. He turns to someone else behind them before he shoves himself through the crowd towards her. She tries to brace herself for the impact. The breath she takes does not prepare her for the fact that he moves right past her as if she wasn’t even there and inserts himself into a different conversation.

Within a few moments, the lights out front dim down and all Bee can do is watch as they take to the stage one by one.

The show goes by in a blur. Bee is barely present enough to remember most of it. She had never seen them live like this, sure she’d heard Noah sing and heard the odd guitar here or there while they were hanging out. But actually seeing him in his element made the whole thing sting even more. The passion that pours out of everything he does is infectious. This is where he burns the brightest. As much as she wants to draw a line under all of this and put it behind her, watching him here brings that little bit of doubt back. There’s a moment in between songs, she doesn’t remember which ones, where he looks in her direction and Bee swears that he’s looking right at her. If he does, he doesn’t give any kind of reaction.

It’s over before she knows it and Tasha informs her that they’re going for drinks afterwards. Bee allows herself to be dragged along. The bar the group ends up in is just shady enough to be comfortable. There's music and people seem happy to mingle and chat. Bee finds herself wrapped up in one or the other conversation herself, some of the people she has met before, others are entirely new to her. And most of them are much more welcoming than she thought them to be. She doesn’t find a chance to pick Noah out until she’s a drink in and really that’s just acting in her favour. He’s drifting between tables when he comes past the little booth Tasha and she had occupied for most of the time they’ve been here. “Noah.” he stops dead in his tracks “Got a moment?”

He turns with a little sway “What? Gonna tell me more about your new guy?”

Bee's heart sinks a little further.

When she doesn’t reply immediately he shakes his head and moves on. without another word. His shoulders are tense as he steps into the circle of a different group, his back towards her. The daggers she stares into his skin don’t seem to bother him. He’s frustrating, stubborn and as much as Bee despises that part of him it makes her just as stubborn.

She watches him mingle and drink for the rest of the night. The conversation she keeps with people is light, always distracted by his constantly increasing swaying and slurring. It gets too much to bear at some point and she goes to find Jolly, he strikes her as the more responsible one of Noah's friends. She finds him wrapped up in a conversation with people she barely recognises.

“Is this normal for him?” she asks quietly, subtly looking towards Noah on the opposite side of the room.

He shakes his head “I don’t want to blame you for this, but this is a new high – low – I thought he got a grip on it.”

“I tried to talk to him.”

Jolly draws in a breath through his teeth “I saw…it didn’t look as if it went well.”

“Tried.”

“Yea he’s stubborn like that.” he grimaces at the way Noah sways in place “I think he’s about done actually.”

“I don’t live far from here.” Bee offers.

He nods, already on his way across the bar. Bee follows him but remains a couple of paces behind. She can just make out Jolly telling Noah that he’s done for the night before he pulls the younger away from the bar with little to no protest.

“I’m fine.” the words slur together into a barely distinguishable mess.

“You’re not.” he says harshly “This shit has to stop.”

Once they have him out of the bar, Bee helps to steer Noah down the streets. For the most part, he allows them to drag him along and his resistance remains verbal, as he keeps trying to reassure Jolly that he’s more than fine. His words fall on deaf ears though. Bee gets the feeling that Jolly has had to deal with the group's shenanigans for long enough to be able to drown it out.

They manage to guide him up the stairs relatively safely and he only tumbles once but seems to find the whole thing more amusing than Bee or Jolly do. They park him on the sofa, where is immediately joined by Barnabas. The protest ceases immediately with his attention now on the cat rather than the fact that he'd been dragged away from the party.

“Can you take him from here?” Jolly asks quietly.

She nods “I’ll be fine.”

“Text me if he gives you trouble.” without questioning it she lets Jolly wrap her into a quick hug “Thank you.”

He looks genuinely grateful. Bee thinks that she understands. This is his friend and surely watching him deteriorate had to be taxing. She was sure that Jolly didn’t see the fault for this with her, he seemed to settled in himself for that. They part shortly after that and when she comes back to the living room, she finds Noah still distracted by the black blob of fur that had thrown itself across his lap.

“Noah?” she asks softly.

He looks up to her, all glassy-eyed and red-faced “You look just like the girl I like.”

As endearing as it sounds it makes her chest feel just a little heavier “Do I?”

“Prettiest fucking girl I’ve ever seen.” he speaks with an almost dopey smile “Doesn’t matter though.”

Bee sits down on the opposite end of the sofa, giving him enough space to not feel caged by her “Why’s that?”

The expression on his face changed then “She’s seeing someone.” he swallows “Guess that’s what I get for waiting too long.”

She isn’t quite sure how she is supposed to reply to that. It’s like moving on thin ice — a delicate balance between keeping him in the belief that she’s not herself while trying to hammer home the idea that there is no other guy.

“But if you’d let me kiss you it’ll be better.” He’s back to an almost bashful expression and Bee can’t help but smile at that.

“How about this: it’s pretty late now but if you still want to kiss me tomorrow morning I’ll give you whatever you want.” It’s a bold promise but Bee has a feeling that he’ll hardly even remember this conversation come morning.

“I’m not tired.”

She nods “Of course. I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket.”

Bee finds him halfway asleep when she returns. Convincing him to at least take off his shoes is difficult enough so she leaves it at that and lets him bunk down dressed. He’s out like a light before she has left the room and remains as such when she returns to check on him once she’s ready for bed herself.

Bee wakes up before him. She lets him sleep while she goes through her usual morning. By the time she's ready for the day, she hears him rousing with a pained groan.

Bee meets him with a glass of water and an Advil, which she leaves on the coffee table without another word. He has to figure out where his head is first before they have that talk. She waits patiently until he stumbles out of the living room into the main space of the apartment. He’s tamed his hair somewhat although he still looks more dishevelled than not.

“Bee.” It’s more a question than a statement really “I- uh”

“Jolly help me bring you here after last night.”

He barely looks at her when he sits next to her at the table “If I said something…Bee if I said something about you and-“

“Ben.”

The light-lipped smile he gives her, tells her that he’s still firm in his belief that she’s dating the other man.

“Ben. Yes. If I said something about that, I’m sorry that wasn’t fair.”

He does look guilty; she has to give him that.

“You didn’t. You did however tell me how much I look like that girl you like.” He flushes visibly at that “Are medievalists your type or-“

He sits with his forehead pressed into his palm for a moment before he gives her another apologetic look.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you that Ben is most definitely not someone you have to worry about?”

Instead of relief she only finds confusion on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“Ben has been with the same guy for the entire time that I’ve known him.”

The confusion doesn't leave him and Bee can practically see the cogs turning in his head as he works through this new bit of information. She lets him mill through his thoughts, watching as he shifts in his chair and flips from a frown to an even deeper frown.

“I fucked that one up didn’t I?” he asks after some time, still not looking at her properly.

Bee let out a sigh “I just don’t know why you didn’t talk to me?”

He finally looks at her then “I don’t- it looked like a done deal…you were over there and you looked happy.”

There’s a sense of defeat about him. Bee reaches for the hand that’s closest to her. Noah flinches but lets her take his hand anyway.

“I was happy because I got to see my friend again. And then this guy I like stopped replying to my texts and doesn’t answer my calls anymore.”

He lets out a huff of laughter “I get it.”

“Do you know how shit it felt knowing that you had just assumed that I’d drop you like that? That I wouldn’t even tell you that I had something else?” her hand tightens around his.

“Do you know how often people have pulled that shit on me? I tell you how I feel about you, you leave and the next thing I see is you and this guy I don’t know looking too fucking friendly.”

The bite in his words is mostly harmless Bee thinks.

They had briefly touched on their ill luck in the past – friends, love, family. Neither of them had been fortunate enough to have a home life that could be considered stable in any way. It hadn’t come to her mind that somewhere, in all of that mess, he’d picked up enough doubts to question whoever he’d come across.

“I don’t know how to fix this.” Bee whispers “I don’t know what to do about this.”

He turns their linked hands around “Tell me we can fix this?”

Bee feels his hand become clammier and colder by the second. The tremor in his voice reminds her of herself when the panic clutches at her heart. She pulls him out of his chair as best as she can and steers him back into the living room. He’d sat with these thoughts for too long for them to just leave with one conversation. As soon as they sit he practically falls against her and Bee lets him.

She doesn’t know for how long they sit like this, with his much larger body wrapped into hers. His body shakes once in a while with what she assumes to be the same silent sobs that wreak across her.

She draws her fingers through the hair at his temples. Maybe the anger in her chest was never anger after all. She doesn’t know what it was, but she can’t be angry at him, not when it tears him apart like this. She knows that neither of them has done the right thing here. There’s work to be done still. Nothing’s mended yet, but at least it's not entirely broken anymore.

And when Noah pulls himself away from her the weight of it truly comes down on her. If it had been anyone else she would have thought of this reaction as a way to garner sympathy. But under the ink and too-cool face was someone looking for connection. She knows that now.

“I can’t lose this Bee.” his voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper “I know I fucked up, but I can’t lose you already.”

Her hand shifts from his temple to the side of his face, so that she can force him to actually look at her “I’m not going anywhere. We’re fixing this."

[melissaat31]

Working out in the morning and eating breakfast is a gamechanger. I know, I know, this isn’t revolutionary info. I mean, we all went to school and had breakfast before class. We all heard about the importance of breakfast.

I’ve been hitting a bit of a slump with my workout and diet. I lost 60 pounds and overhauled my lifestyle in the past year and a half. But after the first year, it hasn’t been so cute. I’ve found myself losing motivation for structure. I started working out during lunchtime and by the time lunchtime rolls around, I’m exhausted. I can’t bring myself to haul my ass to the gym. And then I feel guilty. And lazy.

I tried something different today. I usually work out with my husband and sometimes it feels like he’s torturing me. He’s also my personal trainer. We lift and run together. He tells me what exercises to do and I consider divorcing him. Well, today I woke up defiant, with the lingering question hanging over me. Are we going to the gym? And my Inner Teenager fought her butt off. She was a grumpster. She was like why is everyone trying to control me gargh.

I usually do morning walks with my husband before we start our day. Lately we have even started cooking some breakfast. He has been making eggs and chicken sausage. I did something this past grocery store trip, something I haven’t done probably since college or high school. I got oatmeal. I used to make oatmeal a lot for myself. It was one of those meals that I could make myself, that was healthy. So of course I felt super accomplished making it this week. And it also brought me some comfort.

So we started cooking breakfast this past week, and I started cooking my oatmeal. And today I threw a little fit in the morning and then convinced myself to go the gym because the thing I hate more than pushing myself is the moment in the day when I know I don’t want to go to the gym but I also don’t want to walk for four hours to hit my movement goal - welcome to being 5’1. So I did it. My husband threw his back out but we did it. 45 minutes of lifting. No one was in the gym. I was tired.

But during that time I remembered another little hack. I had been racking my brain trying to figure out - how do I treat myself or bribe myself to go to the gym? Breakfast is a good way to do it. Feeling accomplished having already worked out before my day starts is a good way to do it. And I remembered, hey I like music. Music is a big reason I work out. I like listening to music and being in my own world.

Music influences my mood. And something I did the other day that I forgot was I started listening to music and then looking up guitar tutorials to play the song on YouTube. I would save them for later so I could also be motivated to practice my guitar. That’s another thing I struggle with motivating myself to do. I started learning guitar a little under a year ago and have been learning from Justin Guitar, which is this great app, but when it comes to a point in the learning when it feels tedious, like the C major scale, I just hit a wall. Because I just want to play covers. I love playing something familiar that I can jam out to.

Anyways, I got to pick some covers to try out for later during my lift. And it made it go so much faster. And it put me in a good mood. When we were done, we went home and made some breakfast. And I had a little pep in my step. I realized, hey I have the  whole day ahead of me. I think a big fear of mine is that I won’t have energy for everything I want to do. Like I just will tap out at 1pm. Which totally happens but I also think it’s about curating a life that feels fun. That you can look forward to.

I see things shifting and habits forming that could potentially make me look forward to certain things. I want to start hacking the system. Like how can I motivate myself, how can I create momentum, how can I find joy in the little things. There’s so much to discover and to create in the human experience. And yeah, I gotta study and I have all these ideas in my head that never feel possible to actually action on, but if everyday could be like this, where I could start the day a bit more satisfied, I think this life could be a good one. 

[tokuteasings]

Dating - Kido Shinji, Kitaoka Shuichi

Tada~!! For my dearest Ryuki friend~!

I know I said I would do kiss headcanons but as a gift and as a ganbare~ sort of notion, I wanted to gift you dating headcanons~! So keep on going, hun~! You can do it! the bois and I are right here for you!!!

Warnings: Ryuki spoilers and general angst lol

Kido Shinji

Shinji, first and foremost, is quite the endearing partner. He’s naive, yes, but he isn’t stupid (...most of the time) but he’s earnest and sweet. He’s the kind of partner that just never leaves the honeymoon phase because he cares about you oh so much~!!! It’s so obvious to see and in a way, he’s always nervous around you. It’s like going on your first date all over again and sure it may be awkward but he’s YOUR AWKWARD LITTLE DORK!!! But the thing is with Shinji is that he tends to wing things most of the time. Sure he may have asked his coworkers for help and maaaybe Ren as well but listen, this man goes into each and every interaction with you with this bundle of energy that honestly is just so infectious that you can’t help but become swept up into the thing.

It’s also hella obvious whenever he’s thinking about you too. It’s not a bad thing, but his coworkers at ORE Journal are lowkey sick and tired of him sighing and longingly looking at his phone while waiting for texts from you...Shinji swears he isn’t super clingy though. Right to their faces. They just sigh and roll their eyes and shrug their shoulders like they fucking know. Whenever Ren sees him like this, he rolls his eyes and honestly...he is a bit jealous. Since he misses the days he and Eri were together and could act like that. If anything, Ren is like the begrudgingly helpful wingman who tends to give Shinji advice for how to deal with you and relationship advice in general. 

If there’s anything that makes Shinji happy, is eating lunch with you. Shinji isn’t...a bad....cook...? Just...spontaneous. In the best way! He tends to make random foods like a whole onion sandwich because he has nothing else in the damn fridge and somehow claims it tastes good. He doesn’t really eat super balanced meals and eats out more often than not. He’s gotten better since you two have started dating, actually buying groceries and cooking. If you happen to cook, he’s over the moon and will happily not only help cook but do the dishes without questions. He’s not super house-husband material but lord is he trying. He loves it whenever you visit him at work with lunch during his break! It’s literally the highlight of his damn day.  In return, Shinji will do his best to cook your favorite dishes! He’s trying...okay????

Speaking of spontaneous, it’s the dates with Shinji that has this energy to them you cannot put your finger on. It’s not high-paced, spontaneous, and yet homey at the same time. He doesn’t have many ideas for dates (this is also when he consults the people around him for ideas) and he tends to let whatever happen, happen! If he had to pick a date, he’d probably go out to eat something with you, to treat yourselves to something nice!!! Though, most of the time, he’s happy to do whatever you want to do. He’s happy if you’re happy and just to be spending time with you!!

Shinji’s love language is verbal, physical, and acts of service. It’s not at all grand but subtle little things tinged with nervousness that slowly melts into a comfort. He’s forgetful and an idiot but he’s YOUR idiot!!! That being said, Shinji isn’t against PDA at all! Maybe not around the office but it’s really fun to tease him in public because he’s gonna get all blushy and super pouty. Like, “Don’t do that here! My coworkers will see and make fun of me!” but his blushing face is so cute and will eventually accept it anyway. He enjoys hand kisses the most and holding hands in general! He doesn’t really mind showing you off to people because, well, you two love each other!

But here’s the thing, if you are not aware of the fact he is part of the Rider War..there is this underlying sense of clinginess to him. He doesn’t want to lose you so he will make every moment he has with you count. He is selfless in this aspect, doing more things catering to you just to ensure you keep on smiling. He fights harder than ever once he’s with you and sometimes you notice him limping or in general pain. Of course, he never tell you, but Shinji assures you that it’ll be okay. He’ls here with you, and that’s all that matters.

If you happen to be a fellow participant in the Rider War, you and Shinji most likely have similar goals...ish. He wants to stop this Rider War, maybe you do as well or maybe not. It’s a...strange situation you find yourselves in. But there’s this still general sense of “not wanting to let go” and whenever you two are alone he...doesn’t leave you alone. You two may argue here and there but you two have your own needs, your own desires. They may not see eye to eye half of the time but it’s something you two agree on. Whether or not you two can afford to fight each other when it comes down to it...

Arguments with Shinji are not at all explosive, most of the time.  He does have a bit of a temper but it will die as quickly as it flares. The arguments between you two are going to be centered around if he’s keeping secrets from you or your Rider War status. There is no doubt that killing is going to happen, and it’s going to become down to the two of you one day. If you do not know of his status in the Rider War, you’ll argue that you’re worried about him and Shinji just breaks. He may have no other choice but to tell  you about the war and the Mirror World and Shinji has this guilty sort of look and it hurts to see him like this. You support him no matter what, however.

Shinji never fails to tell you that he loves you, more so texting than verbally and through his gestures. It’s the little things for Shinji and when he does say, “I love you.” for the first time, it’s this moment when Shinji is watching you interact with the life around you. You’re probably just reading a book or something and Shinji is washing up the dishes and he looks over at you covered in sunlight and lets you know how he feels. “Hey...” he trails off when you look up at him and he smiles this goofy smile, turning away from the sink to walk to you and press a kiss to your lips, and hold you close. “I love you.” is whispered against your lips and sometimes you wonder what spurred this on. But he will only smile and say, “Because I love you and want you to know.”

Loving Shinji is...tragic. Because this war takes and takes, it’s a hellish and ugly thing and Shinji definitely has like...letters left behind for you. We all know he dies in the end but it doesn’t hurt any less. But then the world is reset and you two forget about each other. You two only pass each other and perhaps there is this...lingering spark between you. You glance at each other and share a smile before continuing to walk on...the world is not a kind place to either of you. But if you have passed before Shinji...oh he’s not going to take it well. He’s going to end this damn war to ensure no one else will go through this same feeling of loss. 

Kitaoka Shuichi

Shuichi may seem like a man who has his head stuck up his ass but Shuichi cares about you in his own way. It’s unorthodox and strange at times but it’s evident in the things he does for you. His main love language is gifting. It’s materialistic as he is at times but it’s the best way for him to show that he cares. He is a greedy man for sure but he is going to ensure that his partner is just as well off. You have a debt to settle? Nah, he gotchu. You got someone who’s bothering you? Say goodnight to them lol. They’re sued to hell and back. 

However...Shuichi knows he won’t be able to live as he is going to die. Perhaps this idea of buying you gift after gift is a sort of compensation. He’s not going to be by your side in the end, and so he wants to give you something to remember him by. Sure he buys like expensive shit like clothing, jewelry, vacations up the whazoo but...Shuichi’s most preferred gifts to give you are things that remind him or you and what remind you of him. He wants something that can last for you so he tends to lean towards practical items. Probably a jacket to keep warm or a personalized mug. Shuichi presents them in a simple fashion, sliding them over to you while at dinner at your fave place.

Oh Goro-chan ships you two to the fucking moon~!!!! He’s so happy that Kitaoka is happy and he tends to help make dinner for the two of you. He’ll go the FUCK OUT on making the date nights PERFECT and even teaches you some of Shuichi’s fave dishes and things if you want. Goro is like your homie and bro so expect him to always be around you whenever Shuichi isn’t. Shuichi thinks its cute that you two are bonding but he can’t help but be a weee bit jealous that you two are close lol. But you shut him up with a kiss anyway and Goro is offended even thinking that he would be interested in you. You’re already taken and Goro is like super respectful about it. 

Shuichi does enjoy like dates out and about, sure! He loves showing you off and there’s this sense of pride within his chest whenever people look on in envy. Because he has you in his arms, his arm around your waist, his hand on the small of your back, or you holding his arm. It’s like a picture perfect couple. Shuichi seems to enjoy like high and fine dining of course, the finer things in life and ensures complete privacy for the two of you. However, his fave dates are not really homey ones but ones where you two are out but are simply together no matter where you are. It’s sometimes like cafes and coffee shops, where he’s working on things and you two are sharing some cup of coffee and you’re also working on things. Sometimes you two just cuddle in the same booth and share each other’s foods while thinking to yourselves...that this is perfect. 

He doesn’t mind PDA all that much but inside, he’s rather giddy about it. He’s lowkey very clingy because he isn’t....sure when he’ll die. So Shuichi as stated before, he will have his hand or arm around you at all times. He’s a gentleman at best and the type to open doors for you, pull out your chair, and let you order first before doing something himself. He’s traditional in that sense, and always picks you up from your work with flowers, a kiss, and maybe something to cheer you up with if you had a bad day. His favorite kisses are hand kisses and kisses that are against one another’s pulse. It’s...a lingering reminder that you two are alive. The gentleman that he is, he starts his kisses from the tips of your fingers, then your knuckles, to the back of your palm, to the pulse against your wrist, up your arm, the pulse on your neck, and finally your lips. He’ll melt (and maybe inwardly try not to shed some tears) if you do the same to him.

Without a doubt, Shuichi will never tell  you about his condition. He is going to die and he’s not sure when it’ll happen. He’ll spare you from the details and there are moments he will stay quiet and brush things off when it is clearly bothering him. These are the main causes for arguments, truth be told, because he is...not truthful with you. You know something is wrong with him but he won’t admit it. This will...turn into a bit of a maybe a screaming match. It’s rare for Shuichi to lose his cool in any aspect so seeing him like this knows...it means he won’t budge. But he promises to tell you as you two make up. But he cherishes you more, not trying to distract you from the problem but because...he doesn’t know if he’s ready. 

It’s gonna be worse if you’re a Rider. You two know you’re going to kill each other one day but honestly, Shuichi would have been even more hesitant to enter a relationship. You two are enemies and even if you make a temporary alliance, it’s going to be shattered within a millisecond. But here? Now that you know you both are Riders?? Time becomes more...precious. Either one of you could be killed at any moment and Shuichi’s case even more so. You two are going to make every single moment count damn it. No matter what. 

Shuichi never hesitates to let you know that he loves you. It’s verbal most of the time but like Shinji, he tends to show it through gestures more than anything. While it is true that Goro takes care of the housework, Shuichi has learned various ways to help you relax. It’s massages most of the time because he wants to remember the feeling of your skin and your presence. He would always ask if he’s doing alright and how’re you’re generally doing. Texting as well, he doesn’t do it much but he at least sends you a “i love you” text at least one a day.

Shuichi’s kisses linger longer than ever and become passionate hella quickly. He doesn’t want to forget you. Forget the contour of your lips, everything else that he could...ya know...lose. And he doesn’t want you to forget either. He just holds you close every time your lips connect, hands wandering to try and be with you in every step of the way. He ends each kiss with resting his forehead against yours and smiling this wistful smile, it’s his way to tell you that he loves you.

Loving Shuichi is beyond fleeting because when he dies, it’s Goro who has to tell you the news with tears in his eyes. You can’t believe it, and as you two hug, Goro tells you of the journal that Shuici had left. It’s full of things he loves about you, notes about you, pictures you two have taken and wormed their way into the pages. But at the end there is a letter from him. He’s not greedy but jokes that he’ll cliing to you as a ghost...but in the end...Shuichi wants you to move on. He wants you to live out your life as you want it, and for you and Goro to take care of each other. Most of all....he ends with that he’s sorry he didn’t tell you. And ends that he will forever love you. 

[duchesstopaz]

*Trigger Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse, mental abuse, parental abuse, verbal abuse, manipulation, PTSD symptoms, anger, and anxiety.*

Saturday, Feb. 11th, 2023

9:55pm

Today has been so difficult. Well, really just the past few hours, but still. My family and I went to the store for shopping and groceries. I had an amazing haul of clothes from Wal-Mart (it was so good!!!), but it was filled with anxiety and self-doubt. It took me a really long time to calm myself down from that, which I am really beating myself up over. However, the main thing that has me upset is after we got home, where my younger siblings and I had to rearrange the room for our other brother, Anthony, to come back home.

My sisters needed to clean out from under their beds in order for me to move them to make space for Anthony’s bed. It took them literally 2 hours to do it, and it was not only frustrating, but unnecessary. I was put in charge of “managing this project”, and they made the process take so much longer than it had to (4 HOURS!!!). Plus, James (my step-father) had to keep receiving “updates” or involving himself every 30 minutes, which made it even more difficult. The girls just kept making excuses, getting distracted, or asking me redundant questions, and I was running out of patience. It takes so much energy to deal with them, and it just has to be my responsibility to micro-manage them.

My problem is that I am constantly the fall-back for James, and my mom supports it. Not only did I have to “run this project”, but James had the audacity to say that he’s “giving” me the responsibility of supervising the kids regularly clean the room. I have raised those kids in his stead. He hasn’t been a parent to them, he’s rather paying child support and free-loading around the house than actually stepping up. He stays in his room, keeps to himself, and uses us as free labor.

I’m not their parent! I shouldn’t have to look after them the way that I do. I am consistently present with them, checking on them, teaching them, helping them, feeding them, and he does none of that. It’s not fair to me, and I can’t even draw a boundary to separate myself from it. I get sucked back into parenting them to where I literally can’t make time or space for myself. 

There’s a reason that I don’t come home that often. This household and this family is a trap.

James and I were talking the other day, about a couple of things. He repeatedly said that he’s an “observer” and “picks up on the things he sees”. It’s so full of shit. He asked me why I never come home and why I’ve been gone for so long (3 years for college), and I had to scramble for a half-truth to save my skin and give him such a vague answer. That it’s because growing up here in this area was rough. He’s so perceptive, but can’t see that the problem stems from HIM. His abuse and how inactive he is as a father and how he walks around as if he’s a king.

I stayed away to avoid him, and being here now is just as hard as I thought it would be. I hate interacting with him, I’m tired of the anxiety from being around him, and I hate how he treats me. You know, he was like, “I can see that you’re pretty responsible, so I wanted to ask if you want to be back on our car insurance?”. Why do you even feel the need to comment on my responsibility? I’ve been responsible for years and it’s not a show for your approval, and has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s patronizing and belittling. I’m an adult now, I want to be treated like one, and I’m going to treat myself with responsibility. Yes, I’m back living at home, but I’m clearly pulling my own weight by buying the groceries for the whole household each week. And, so much more. So much more!

I’m not your solution to your issues of being a neglectful, abusive parent. I’m not an in-home nanny, a maid, or a butler that caters to your every request. It’s not my responsibility to cover your tracks and then, be a stand-in for you, because you are too tired from work or annoyed or because you want to “watch your football”. Those aren’t my kids, they’re my siblings. And, it’s miserable. I just… can’t take it.

I’m literally draining myself for this family, and I can’t ever have the time or space to myself to recover, because it’s constantly filled with their needs and wants.

I’m exhausted, and I want it to stop. Please.

[letgoofmyloneliness]

MARCH 21, 2020

Dear Ellie,

I’m kinda confused by your last letter. So your friend’s step-sister’s boyfriend’s aunt got covid? Or did I get the order mixed up? Too many names for me to remember, you know how I am. Just make sure to follow the protocols and wear a mask. Blah blah blah you get it... I heard Australia’s numbers aren’t too bad right now so that’s good for you. Maybe you’ll get to come home earlier. But then again, who knows when we’ll all be allowed to travel again. 

Things here are okay. Kinda hard to still understand everything that’s going around. We now have to line up if we wanna go to the grocery store (never thought I’d have to say that). Mom and Dad are doing good, don’t worry about them. Dad’s decided to clean out the shed (again) and mom’s picked up gardening. I was thinking about moving back in with them for a while but you know how allergic mom is with dogs. 

Daisy’s good too. I know she must miss you a lot, but I don’t think dogs have a sense of time so don’t worry about that. I keep telling her you’ll be back before she knows it. Lately we’ve been going on a lot of walks. I’ve started taking her to the soccer field up the street and kicking a ball around with her. She absolutely loves it but she gets so tired so quick. Still though, she won’t quit. Who knew Rottweiler’s had so much energy? I thought they were more of a couch-potato breed. 

I’m doing alright too. Ever since James moved out t’s been hard being home all the time, but at least I have Daisy with me. I seriously don’t know where I would be without her. I don’t know if I'll be able to part with her when you get back (If you ever get back). I think I'm gonna have to adopt a dog, because yours has been keeping me sane. 

It’s been pretty hard keeping up with school at home, but I'm trying my best. I feel like my professor’s have been giving so many more readings since they know we’re all stuck at home with nothing to do. I think if it wasn’t for your dog, I'd be depressed. I mean that. She is a breath of fresh air and I would be so alone without her. 

I’m so grateful that you asked me to watch her while you went on your trip. She makes me forget that there is a worldwide crisis going on right now. She wakes me up bright and early in the morning ready to go for her walk and it honestly reminds me that I have a sense of purpose. We depend on each other. She’s there for me, and I’m there for her. 

Please stay safe. Don’t get covid. See you soon!

From, 

Your brother David

[onsunnyside]

:･ﾟ➴ 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭: 𝐈𝐈

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | Chris Evans x short!reader

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | fluff, SMUT - minors DNI, short!reader, size kink, dom!chris, praise kink, degradation, spitting, choking, belly bulging, daddy kink, spanking, p in v, anal sex (mentioned), breeding kink, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), creampie

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭: 𝐈 continuation. [𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭: 𝐈𝐈𝐈]

𝗪/𝗖 | 4.2K

𝗔/𝗡 | Ah! I can’t believe how much of you liked the first one, so thank you so much! Half of this is from the first part that I didn’t post. This is part two to 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭. Bold is dialogue. I’m always up for feedback !!

˗ˏˋ𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭ˎˊ˗ ⋰˚ 𝐂.𝐄. & 𝐂𝐨. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

When you and Chris go grocery shopping, on the occasion they aren’t delivered, Chris treats it like a date and when you asked why, his answer was simple, “I’m gonna make up any excuse to go on a ‘date’ with you—get used to it, sweetheart.”

He puts you between him and the cart with his arms on either side of you. It’s hard to walk around like that, and you usually complain but a quick swat on your butt has you zipping your lips. “If you’re good, I’ll put you in the cart.”

Chris jumps at any opportunity to flaunt his height around you.

"Hey, baby, can you grab that cereal for me?"

You nod, turning around to find the box as it sat on the very top shelf, taunting you.

Not wanting to be spanked in the cereal aisle, you keep your mouth shut.

He chuckles at you jumping and climbing on shelves to get to the top shelf. “Oh, did you need help with that, sweetheart?” He teases and lifts you up to grab the box and proceeds to kiss your grumpy pout away.

He’s a dick about it sometimes too. Taking giant steps so you’d basically jog to keep up with him. Skipping steps on the stairs so he could watch you race to meet him at the top.

Or literally picking you up and carrying you when you’re not doing what he asks.

“Let me down, you neanderthal!” Your fists rain down on his back, yanking at his shirt when he laughs. You reach down and pinch his ass.

“Oh! Is that how you want to play?” Chris retaliates by flipping up your little skirt and slapping your ass, “You should just listen to me, baby. It’ll save you the trouble.” He gropes your flesh. Pulling at the band of your panties and letting go, loving at the short gasp you let out.

“No! And cover my ass before someone sees!”

He does fix your mini skirt, not before another slap. “No one walks this beach at this time.”

“This is one of the most popular beaches in the city.”

“Okay, but we haven’t seen anyone since we got here.” “Maybe next time when I say we should leave to meet our reservation—you should listen instead of taking a nap.”

You groan, sagging limp over his shoulder. With each step, your body sways like dead weight.

“But, I’m tired.” You spent the whole day travelling the city with Chris for your weekly date night, except Chris chose to start early in the morning and make it a date day/night.

Since Dodger was being watched by some friends, you and Chris had the house to yourself. You thought it would’ve been nice to relax and have breakfast in bed without a cute dog puppy begging for a bite, but no, Chris woke you up in the early hours to take a trip to the farmers market.

“Well, it’s a good thing you aren’t walking then.” He pats your bum comfortingly, “Recharge some of that energy. Not that you’ll need it when I annihilate you at the arcade tonight.”

You fumble with your response, huffing in frustration. “You suck!” You hear other voices and look up to see a group of teenagers on the pier. “Chris, people are staring.”

“Huh?” “Oh, don’t mind them.”

“You look suspicious with a girl over your shoulder at the beach at night.”

“You’re right.” He turns to them, waving with a grin, “she’s okay—just tired!”

When they said they saw the former Captain America carrying his girlfriend over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, without video or pictures, everyone believed them anyway. Because, honestly, it just seemed like something Chris would do.

He's lucky he's the love of your life.

When he’s working out—he’ll casually mention bench pressing you. And somehow, that leads to your panties on the floor and you bent over the stationary bike with Chris plowing you from behind.

His bicep is around your neck, keeping you from falling forward from the brutal strength behind his thrusts. Your eyes roll back, whines slipping from your lips. His big cock stretching you wide, his heavy balls colliding with your button.

“You’re doing so good, my best girl. Letting daddy fuck your little pussy sore.” He flexes, his bulging muscles restricting your air flow. "Such a good girl for daddy's cock, huh?"

Chris’ breath fans across your heated cheek, his grunts vibrating his chest. You sink closer him, sending his shaft deeper, the thick head hitting your cervix. Choking out a cry, your nails dig into his arm.

You gasp, trying to speak. "P-Please—” Chris loosens his arm, scraping his beard on your jaw. God, you hope he leaves marks. Your mind is so foggy, you barely register him bringing your hand to where you're connected.

You're fucking soaked, dripping down your thigh. Your panties weren’t any better, having been damp the moment you heard his grunts and found him lifting weights.

"What was that, dumb baby?" His thrusts slow down, letting you feel every vein before rutting into you. He curses at the wet noises coming from your pussy. "Can't hear you over your little drenched cunt, gonna have to speak louder than that."

"I love you, daddy." You twist to look at him, begging him with the cutest pout. "Kiss me, p-pretty please."

Chris smirks, "I love you too, baby." He licks into your mouth, kissing you passionately. His arm around your neck falls to cup your tummy. The dull bulge appears with every thrust. “Look how deep I am, darlin’, feel me in your tummy, huh?” He leans close, sucking and nibbling on your shoulder, “Makes me wanna fill you up, get you full of my baby. You want that?”

“Yes, yes, daddy.” You look down, drooling at the bump of his cock protruding from inside you. Chris grinds thoroughly, almost coming to a complete halt. “Please fuck me, please!”

"Yeah? What are you gonna do for daddy, then?"

You grip the rails of the bike, trying to fuck yourself on his hard length. But you lack the strength and power, Chris chuckles darkly at you.

“Are you gonna give me a baby, sweet girl? Let daddy get you plump with a baby—fill your messy pussy until you’re leaking?”

He pulls back and hammers into you, forcing noises from your throat, your ass slapping against his hips in a quick rhythm. He gets so deep at this angle—pummelling into your sopping pussy with vigour.

"Rub your little cunt for daddy, you slut."

He presses your fingers on your pearl, hard and thick body flush against your back. You rub yourself with fervour, the wetness soaking your fingers. Combined with his dick pressing all up in your guts, you spasm immediately. Clenching around him tight, choking his throbbing length and begging for his cum. Legs weak, body tingling and numb as you fall forward with a cry.

"That's it, cream all over my cock." He bites onto your shoulder, holding his high back. He’ll consider giving you a break—only when you’re dripping down your legs and pleading.

Then he flips you around, kissing you filthily before wrapping your arms around his neck and lifting you up. Your feet flail, eyes shooting open when he spits on your breasts.

He spreads your thighs, your knees hooked over his strong arms, then forces your still convulsing cunt on his dick.

Chris holds you up like that. Forcing your weepy heat on his shaft, your loud and squeaky moans make him harder. His grip tightens, obscene squelching filling the air, he's unable to look away from your blissed-out face. Mouth dropped wide and eyes rolled back, you can barely keep them open.

Your legs swinging by his sides, toes curled tight. Pussy aching for and from his size. Shuddering when you feel spit land on your cunt, Chris' cock fucking it into you. Getting you even more wet if possible.

Mind flying high at how he can hold you up, manhandle you up and down his girth. Guttural groans and growls coming from deep in his throat. He’s so much bigger than you, it’s almost scary. Chris is determined to use your creamy hole, not caring about how sensitive you are.

Chris holds you up with one arm, pulling you close until your tits are pressed against his tattooed chest. Your poor clit rutting against his neatly trimmed pubic hair. Sweaty skin meets as he opens your mouth wider.

"Stick your tongue out. That’s it." "Daddy's little cock drunk baby, huh? Cream all over me, sweetie—show me how much you want daddy's cum. Love it when I use you, daddy isn’t stopping until your cunt is crying, little girl."

His voice is so deep and gravelly, it sets you ablaze, you tense and release again. Eyes fluttering as you convulse around his heavy shaft.

He softly shushes your cries, kissing all over your hot cheeks and sucking your tongue into his mouth. When he's like this, his kisses are heavenly and sinful at the same time. Teeth clashing, tongue massaging yours, swallowing your whimpers.

"God, look at that little fuckhole." Chris cranes his neck, your cream coating his entire length. Tiny pussy gaping around his size, slick and tender, a prize. He wants to suck your swollen clit into his mouth, lick around your messy folds, taste your mixed juices and give you beard burn on your inner thighs.

And Chris, never one to hold back, does exactly that.

"Soak my face, baby." He demands against your puffy folds, sucking your clit between his lips before pulling off with an obscene pop. He laps at your heat, groaning deeply. "Then maybe, I'll fill you with my cum."

You can't even mourn your yoga mat under you. It’s destroyed from your nails and wetness dripping down your slit.

Chris thrusts his tongue into your centre, moaning against you, eating you like a starved man. His sounds rumbling against you. He drinks you down, digging his face deeper between your thighs, a lovely irritation building from his facial hair.

"I—"

"Can't believe this tight hole takes my cock. Best pussy I've ever had, darlin'." "You're made for me, made to take daddy’s cock like a good girl.”

He pulls away, tugging your nub between his lips and sitting back on his knees. Your wetness glistening in his beard. He collects your arousal with his rough fingers before gripping himself. Hissing at the contact, abs flexing. "Fuck yourself with your fingers, baby."

You can't. Shaking your head, hands clenched in fists to your chest. Lying limp, shuddering breaths shaking your chest.

Chris tsks. " I guess I have to do everything myself." "Just a dumb little baby when you’re spread out like this—don't worry, I'll take care of you."

And by take care, he means fucking you against the wall until you collapse against his chest in exhaustion.

It wasn’t surprising to know that Chris was (graciously) gifted between the legs. When you first saw him naked, you remember being a little terrified. Your hand couldn't wrap around the girth and the length had you doubting if you could even take him.

When you had sex the first time, you could only take him halfway before you came. You were teetering on the edge since he made you sit on his face.

Chris suggested taking it slow next time, and opened you up with four fingers before filling you to the hilt.

Now, you've become addicted to the burn of when he breaches—greedily taking everything he has to offer.

Since he's gotten your cunt accustomed to his size, his mind can't help but drift to your little puckered hole.

Chris leans back, one hand in the middle of your back as he rails you over the arm of the couch. Your toes barely brush the floor as he fucks the sweetest noises from you.

He admires your bouncing backside, squeezing the flesh harshly. Bringing his hand back to spank you, repeating it again and again.

You’re so submissive for him. So little, he feels almost bad to be pounding you so roughly. But you loved it. His cock glistening every time he pulls out.

His eyes are glued to the little rosebud above your swollen petals.

“Fuck—baby, when are you gonna let daddy fuck your ass?” “I’ve been good to you, haven’t I?”

Your breath hitches. The closest you've gotten to that was when Chris would lightly rub his thumb over it, or when his tongue lapped at your juices that dribbled down.

Mind filling with images of his fat girth opening you wide, you could almost taste the pain.

Chris brings you against his body before picking you up. Still throbbing between your walls, he lays you on the couch, the movie long forgotten on the television. Flipping you over onto your back, big palms running over your heated skin. He pinches your hardened nipples, tugging. Moaning, your back arches off the cushions.

He sticks his fingers between your lips until you’re slack jawed. Spitting into your mouth, “swallow, baby.” Then, he traces down your neck with his slick fingers.

“Don’t you want daddy’s cock in your ass, sweetie?” His digits tailing down your tummy to your soaking pussy, giving your clit a slap then doing the same to your ass. “Or are you gonna make me beg?” He pulls out, cock colliding with his lower stomach with a wet smack. He folds your legs to your chest and circles your rim.

You shake your head quickly, blubbering, “no, no, you can b-but not now.”

“I can do what?”

You squirm as he collects your arousal before spreading it around your much tighter, smaller hole. “You can fuck my ass, daddy.”

Chris abruptly shoves two fingers into your cunt, scissoring them. His dark gaze locked on your wide eyes as you narrowly register his next words.

“Hm, isn't your pussy gonna feel neglected? We don’t want that, baby.” “Hungry little cunt wants my cock too.”

“Oh! Yes, please, please.” You moan, head thrown back. “Want you in all my holes, use me, daddy. Fill me up.”

“Yeah? My little girl wants to be stuffed to the brim?” His fingers are pulled away.

The bulbous head of his dick rubs against your button before he presses into you—so slowly that you reach up and pull him down by his neck. Your nails pierce into the skin leaving small crescents in its wake.

“So fucking good,” he grunts lowly, he builds a pace, going deeper and harder with every roll of his hips. He can’t get enough of your tightness on his throbbing shaft. “Squeeze my cock, sweet girl,” “Milk me, wanna get you knocked up.” “Tiny pussy so good for me—after you’re full of my baby, daddy’s gonna cum in all your little holes. You want that? Daddy dripping all over you.”

Chris knows exactly how to ruin you.

He takes your nipples into his mouth, biting and sucking until you whimper. He moves you however he pleases, hips unrelentless as he marvels at his handy work. Weepy cunt stretching to the max, he just knows it burns. Bruises and hickies decorating your skin like his very own canvas. He's claimed your mind, your body, he just needs to do the same to your insides.

You’re brainless underneath him. So small, whining, head bobbing with each thrust—a glorious Angel for him to devour. His glorious cock drunk Angel.

You look up at him with unfocused eyes. Tears brimming in your waterline, “you’re too big, daddy, you’re too deep!”

Chris chuckles mockingly. Thrusting harder. “Am I? Sweetie, I think you’re just so little that it feels that way.”

“Daddy, daddy,” you mewl.

“Don’t you love it when daddy stretches your little pussy? Can feel you clenching, baby, you gonna give daddy that cream?”

He couldn’t be more right. You loved when he took you like this, when he manhandled you on his fat girth, fucking every thought from your head.

“I'm gonna—ah—don’t stop.”

He spits lewdly on your stomach, smearing it into your skin. Paying special attention to his cock protruding from inside you. “Where are your manners?” “Is daddy’s cock is makin’ you so stupid you forget how to ask nicely? Dumb little girl, just good for taking cock, huh?”

That has you clenching around him, your feet braced against his chest, thighs shut tight. Little ah’s are all you can manage.

Chris grips the back of your thighs and pushes down, straining your muscles all while using the leverage to pound you deeper into the couch. The sound of skin slapping intensifies and your hands scramble, head so far gone that you don’t know what to hold on to.

He’s so big above you. Tall and wide, heavy, hairy, broad shouldered, and tattooed. His chain dangling from around his neck. You can’t even function, his cock hitting so deep that you try to get away but he just pulls you back down. Trapping you underneath him.

“Take my cock, don’t run from me.” He moves you on his dick, groaning at the feeling of your constricting walls.

“I'm stretching your tight pussy so good you’re trying to get away, huh? Is that any way to thank me?” “And look at that little fuckhole, you’re makin’ a mess. Such a stupid baby."

"Daddy—" You squeak when he slaps your thigh.

"Unless you're gonna apologize for ruining the couch, then don't speak."

His pace is merciless, his thickness spearing into your deepest parts. You're a mess of strangled moans as your hands land on your mouth, fingers between your teeth. Your orgasm easily builds into another.

He growls, rutting into you, his balls pressed to your ass, the pubic hair at the base of his cock sending tingles through your body. You twitch, keening loudly.

“Fuck, baby, take daddy’s cum,” He breathed out, abs and biceps tensing under his flushed skin. “You gonna milk me dry?”

Your garbled whines are cut off as he tears your fingers from your mouth. Bringing it to his own mouth then down to your swollen folds. “Touch yourself, sweetie.”

Low praises come from his lips, “that’s it. Play with your messy pussy. Make yourself come.” “Those little fingers aren’t as good as mine, huh?” “You miss daddy’s fingers when I’m away? Just like you miss my cock in your tiny cunt?”

You writhe, your climax hitting so suddenly that Chris does too. Thrusts stuttering as he curls over you, moaning, chest heaving. He covers you from head to toe, gripping your shoulders to keep you pinned on his cock as it bursts inside your pulsating walls, spilling, filling you to the brim. He's so warm and thick inside you. You never want him to leave.

“Look at us.” He commands, spreading you wide.

You follow his order and choke on air. You’re instantly entranced—his flushed cock is white with your cum that formed a ring around his base. Your poor cunt taking his girth as he slowly grinds into you, fucking his cum deeper inside you.

Just imagining you all pregnant and full of his baby makes him harden again. You gasp at the feeling of him thickening inside you.

Chris collects salvia in his mouth, checking if you’re being a good girl and doing what he said before spitting on your cunt. And it lands with his cum that seeped out.

"It’s a good thing," he says about picking you up and taking you wherever he wants. Physically carrying you somewhere if you’re being bratty or stubborn and also when you're fooling around.

His height and strength came in handy all the time.

Building furniture, or rearranging different rooms because you both decided it needed a change. He was surprisingly great at kneading dough whenever he'd help you bake.

Chris especially took great pride in winning those strength games at carnivals too.

"I'm going to win you that big bear." He shrugs off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders. "I've seen you eyeing it all night."

You tilt your head, licking the cotton candy from your fingers. "I was actually staring at the bunny."

Chris sighs, turning to see the much smaller pink bunny hanging from the stand. "You deserve something big enough to keep you company for when I'm gone."

"Nothing is as big as you, hunk."

He chuckles, paying the employee before coyly rolling up his sleeves. The fabric of the white henley clinging to every delicious curve of his body. You regret not letting him finger you in the photo booth. In your defence, there was nothing but a flimsy curtain separating you and the innocent bystanders.

He lifts the oversized hammer in his hands with ease. "What do I have to get for the giant pink bunny?" He asks the younger man.

"You have to ring the bell at the top."

Chris looks over his shoulder at you, a cocky smirk telling you, 'I got this.' "Could do that in my sleep, bud."

The photos that circulated the Internet the next morning are some of your favourites. Chris lugging around a huge pink bunny with you tucked into his side, still wearing his jacket. He looks every bit of the smug winner he was. There were clear shots of you sitting on his lap, making out and feeding him cotton candy (and also pushing him away when he suckled on your fingers). Those have their special framed spots at home.

Aside from being your one-way ticket to carnival prizes, his stature was also perfect for dirty quickies.

Tonight, you were accompanying him to someone’s album release party. It was an artist you love so you dressed up all nice, did your makeup and sprayed on some perfume. Which happened to be his favourite of yours.

Your dress was on the shorter side, and Chris keeps a hand on you at all times. Whether it was on your thigh at the booth, on your waist when you were standing—and of course, when he gets some liquor in him he goes a little careless and unabashedly gropes your ass in the middle of the club. (Those were quick to go viral, Chris Evans is definitely an ass man! See Video: Actor can’t keep hands off girlfriend!)

He rarely got jealous and trusted you immensely but watching you gush and praise your favourite musician was getting to him. Your face lighting up, bottom lip between your teeth and worst of all, you were giving the musician your starry eyes. Those eyes were reserved for Chris when he was knuckle deep, tongue deep or balls deep inside you.

So Chris waits for the musician to be (albeit, reluctantly) pulled away by their publicist before showing you how he feels.

Within five minutes your life got a million times better. You met your idol and then you were getting your brains fucked out pressed up against the wall. Your boyfriend’s arms hooked under your knees and his pants pulled down enough to get his cock out.

Chris works fast. A harsh tug in the direction of the washrooms, pushing you against the wall and hiking up your dress before pulling your panties to the side. Spitting into your slack jawed mouth and messily fingering you until you begged for relief.

After you came twice him with his fingers stuffed in your mouth to muffle your whines and he filled you up until it was dripping out of you, he set you down carefully. Fixing your panties, and kissing you softly while he rubbed the fabric between your folds until they were ruined from your combined cum.

“I love you.” Chris mutters against your neck, “I just want to eat you up all the time.”

“Chris, I can barely stand right now.”

He pulls away laughing, blue eyes lively with that post-sex glow. “I think I prefer it when you can’t stand at all. I know you do too.”

“Then, take me home.”

The whole night you’ve wanted to rip the tight white button-up from his body, it was cruel how thin it was. All his tattoos visible, the one on his collarbone peeking out. You craved for him to manhandle you and fold you however he wanted—which would all be easier in bed, in the privacy of your home.

“Hm, I don’t know...” Chris brings his fingers to your mouth, dipping them in and giving you a taste of your mixed juices. He does it again, smearing it on your lips. “Perhaps if you can be in the car in two minutes, l will consider waiting before I get my mouth on your cunt. But that counter looks pretty sturdy, yeah?” He nods towards the washroom sink in front of the mirror.

You almost fling yourself over the counter but you know you can't. Instead, you quickly waddle to the door. “I have to say bye!” You call over your shoulder, rushing to find the musician before Chris takes you again.

If you actually looked in that mirror, you would’ve seen the tiniest bit of cum on the corner of your mouth. A sick part of Chris hoped that your idol noticed it, just like how he noticed them checking you out while you praised their talent.

When he sees you by the car, he makes sure to kiss you until he sucks all the evidence from your lips. You’d be pissed if you found out, but then again, you were never mad at him for too long. You loved him too much.

𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭: 𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝗜𝗻 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁: 𝗜𝗜 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝘀 | @michellangdonismybf @n3ssm0nique @sparksforkoo @knifevsstageprop

𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗘𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘀 & 𝗖𝗼. 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝘀 | @justreadingficsdontmindme @gitasor @adoringb

[sukunasweetheart]

he who becomes the follower rather than the one being followed. heavy angst, gn!reader

Once you enter your apartment, you kick your shoes off your aching feet and carelessly chuck your belongings onto the counter. The keys clatter against the cold marble and the sound of it pierces through the silence that lingers in your home. Your tired eyes can’t seem to really get a hold of anything.

“Why do you keep working overtime? I told you to stop that. Biting off more than you can chew.”

Sukuna comes from behind and watches you quietly skim your eyes over your near-empty fridge.

“And go grocery shopping, will you? It’s been weeks now.”

You sigh, and retreat to your cupboard where you grab the same cup ramen you’ve been having for dinner for the fourth night in a row.

“Giving me the silent treatment, huh. As usual,” he grunts, crossing his arms with concern. He’s grown sick of this. When will you pick yourself back up?

You don’t even sit down to eat. You pathetically hover over your sink to quickly slurp it up and discard the soup down the drain afterwards. Repeating the same cycle. Work, eat, sleep. Work, eat, sleep. Over and over again.

There are clothes strewn over the floor, because you haven’t been bothering to clean up after yourself. And Sukuna doesn’t know how much more he can tolerate watching you destroying yourself like this. He uncrosses his arms when you walk right past him, almost like you were telling him that you were sick of his nagging.

When he follows after you, he sees you collapse onto your sofa from exhaustion.

“Go to bed. You’ve been falling asleep on the sofa too much recently.”

You bury your head into the pillows and shut him out more, if that was even possible. The furrow in his brows deepen and he sits by your feet.

“Hey. Those are my pillows. Don’t sully them so much. You haven’t even showered yet.” Sukuna continues the one-sided conversation.

You must’ve plopped onto the sofa too hard. Because not long after, a photo frame topples over on the stand next to it. You hear the small clack, and you lift your head a little to look at it - hesitating. Slowly, you sit yourself back up again, and Sukuna draws in a breath, as if he’s preparing for something he’s about to witness for the millionth time.

“Don’t,” he mumbles, his gaze following your hand as it reaches out to grab the frame. When you lift it up and look at the photo, you see that it’s him. Your chest begins to hurt again, and your tired eyes somehow still have the energy to produce endless tears, some of them dropping onto the glass that covers the picture. You bring him close to your heart, and cry freely.

“I miss you. I miss you so much.”

Sukuna sits closer to you and hovers his hand over your face, knowing that he’d phase right through you if he tried to touch you for real. And he can’t get used to this, no matter how hard he tries. He wants to touch you again.

“I know. I know, doll. I’m right here,” he tells you, reassuringly.

But you can’t hear him.

dear readers, hope you enjoyed the angst lmao here are some additional headcanons for modern au sukuna who remains beside you even after his death.

sukuna pretty much follows you wherever you go

when youre at work, he’s there scowling at anyone who scolds you for some mistake youve made

walks right next to you when youre walking, waits beside you when youre waiting in line for a coffee and sometimes runs when youre running to catch a bus too

or maybe if you have your own car, he sits himself in the seat next to you and listens along to the radio if you turn it on, or some music of your choice. sometimes even just complete silence. places his legs up where hes not supposed to, because it doesnt matter anymore, but puts them down again when he remembers how much you scolded him over it that one time

is often talking, even though he knows no one can hear him

if youre out shopping and/or buying things, he’ll say; “get that one. you like those.” and he’s rather ecstatic when you do exactly that lmao

“i used to love those” he comments at some snacks in an aisle. you stop and turn to look at the same snack and grab some.

he does it on purpose, because he wants to feel like youre actually listening to him, he says things that he predicts you’ll do

sometimes, he swears that you hear him though

when he nags you again and tells you to change the bed sheets once in a while, you miraculously feel the same way and do it immediately, leaving him smirking and saying his praises to you

because sukuna walks around with you everywhere, sometimes dogs and cats with keen senses will bark/hiss at you when theyre actually sensing his presence. he’ll tell the animals to piss off.

he lies down beside you when you go to sleep. asks you whats wrong when you wake up abruptly sometimes in the middle of the night. he wants to sleep alongside you, but ghosts cant sleep or dream.

is distraught because there is no use for his fast reflexes anymore, he can’t prevent you from getting injured - not when you trip over your own feet, cut yourself while using a knife, or when something falls from a shelf and hits you on the head

hates when you walk around by yourself at night. its dangerous, especially when hes not there to scare everyone off anymore

if you eventually find someone else to love, he will be so very conflicted

wants you to be happy again but resents that he cant be the one to do that for you now

doesnt know what to feel when his pictures disappear from your home, one by one

“but you promised,” he’d say, sitting on the edge of your bed while you’re texting another person, “that you’d love me forever.”

but thats just him being selfish.

i guess you meant his forever, and not your own.