#also arguably toxic codependency

[oceanicairways]

they’re giving jaykyle realness…walk with me

[olliesmoreno]

just realised jaru is toxic yaoi lol

[joejhang]

THEA MULDANI DISCOURSE

if you're a hardcore thea hater do us all a favour dni w this post

THEA DID NOT GROOM KEVIN. lord the amount of INSANE takes i see about kevthea makes me want to bash my head in. THEA IS NOT A FUCKING PREDATOR. nora did make a post about this already but i'll reiterate the CANON FACTS for you all: thea and kevin didn't begin a relationship (romantic or otherwise) until they were both legal adults. the age gap between the two of them is maximum five years. there is no evidence to suggest the two of them had any kind of an intimate or close relationship before kevin's freshman year and their age gap isn't anything crazy it's not like kevin was freshly 18 and thea was like 30 so there was no huge gap in maturity. nora also makes it clear that their relationship was not the same as the toxic sexual encounters many of the other ravens had. much as some of y'all don't like kevthea (which i understand), it has to be said that they did actually have a relationship with each other. they passed each other notes and actually cared to get to know each other. nora doesn't really suggest there is anything unhealthy or toxic about their dynamic on its own.

yes i do think kevthea the ship has problems. however i think the toxicity is due to the environment they were both in (a literal cult) rather than either kevin or thea. the main reason i don't ship kevthea hardcore is because their relationship is borne from a very abusive very codependent very toxic environment that neither of them are healed or fully detached from. i honestly think it would be better for them both to just clean the slate and not pursue a relationship until they're more well-adjusted and free of the nest. that being said, i actually trust nora with her characters, so i'll let it rest.

i don't even like thea that much but some of y'all are literally just misogynists. i don't think it's a coincidence that one of the most hated characters in the series is a canonically black woman, especially when contrasted against the all white, male main characters of the books who arguably all have a very fucked moral compass (except for jean and jeremy. sometimes). considering she has like four canon appearances in the series and she is still one of the most hated characters in the fandom for YEARS says a LOT. smells like misogynoir to me.

i also think a lot of people forget that thea is also a victim of the nest. probably more than the average raven because of her race and gender. it's already been said that she faced hatred and copped a lot of shit during her time because she's half black, and jean makes it clear that women weren't highly valued in the nest as well. that combination of her identity did her no favours as a raven and y'all just want a perfect victim so bad don't you. of course she has a twisted way of thinking of course she's not well-adjusted or gentle or particularly kind she's a veteran from the nest and their vicious cult mindset that's not something you can just shake off, and neil, jeremy, kevin and jean all say that ravens graduate but never leave the nest. you all forget how prickly and bitchy and mean jean and kevin can be as well, probably courtesy of the nest, but for some reason their flaws are brushed over and even endearing but thea's are enough to despise and hate her passionately. crazy and suspicious.

yes a lot of the thea discourse is somewhat valid because i do think her responses to kevin + jean's trauma isn't particularly tactful or sensitive but i've said it before and i'll say it again. what do you guys expect her to fucking do??? riko is dead and tetsuji is nowhere to be found. if y'all want her anger and indignation you have it. she wasn't just totally chill and fine with the abuse they suffered. yes, thea made some ill-advised comments, but it's pretty clear she didn't know all the information and the facts about what happened to kevin/jean were so muddled anyway i don't really understand how you guys wanted her to respond. also note that andrew, neil and kevin also don't have the most gentle and sensitive responses to trauma either and yet they never get as much hate as thea does. which is insane btw. i love the boys but actually let this woman REST.

tldr thea isn't my favourite character but i feel the need to defend her because this fandom sometimes makes me genuinely crash out. she is NOT a fucking predator and she is also a victim of the nest. while she's not perfect she's also a character we know next to nothing about and the amount of hate she receives is actually batshit. sorry idc.

[moonsuke]

Episode Nagi 33

Lol this chapter has so much typical shonen rivalry composition like thank you knsr for the narusasu-reonagi?? 😭

I'll never stop finding it funny and ironic how reonagi makes a better “duo” when they’re separated, like they're literally more in sync and on the same page than when they’re together lol. Perhaps this is the true alone・together chapter (good ending ver) after all.

I'm like so hung up on how emotionless Nagi looks here, its borderline unnerving and scary (and kinda sad if you wanna dig deeper) BUT I LOVE IT. His mouth is so small its kinda cute? Scary, beautiful, cool and cute, that's my Nagi! We haven't seen him "scary" since first selection I kinda miss him. He's was such a menace and arguably the most hype and best written "final boss" to date.

And that's why he'll be back as one. Isagi's ultimate foil, let's go.

And I love that it’s nagi=sasuke and reo=naruto. I know reonagi and narusasu dynamics aren’t exactly similar, mostly because reonagi never really have that rivalry sun/moon yin/yang symbolism going on but when it comes to hot/cold, red/blue I guess they still fit? The second picture kinda have a yin-yang thing going on too. Nagi's aura is black but his heart and character is very pure, while Reo's aura is lighter but inside he has darker thoughts and feelings? That's just me trying to force a yin-yang parallel on them but I honestly don't think they fit that well, unless it’s foreshadowing for the future? 👀 I’ve seen people say it’s reflective of Nagi’s downfall etc but I would think it’s more like the cyclical nature of their progress lol. But I’m mostly of the stance it’s for hype visuals only, knsr seems to like doing that before shit hits the fan. Doesn’t really mean much.

I actually made a lot of mental comparisons between Sasuke and Nagi before, like to understand why are they my favs and why I see them the way I do in their shipping dynamics etc (I only ship them as bottoms) etc. And I’ve always thought reonagi’s kinda like a flipped shonen duo? Like usually Reo would be the typical shonen protag with his red hot fiery passion and energy while Nagi would play the cooler, calmer deuteragonist but for them, the calm one's the protag. It’s like if Sasuke's the protag instead of Naruto lol

I rmb knsr making another narusasu-reonagi comparison before with the kyuubi-susanoo fusion lookalike and I was so insulted then?? I don't even wanna include it here cause they were never narusasu??? Naruto and Sasuke were actually equal rivals but reonagi was toxic codependency with Reo giving up his ideal self (!!!) for Nagi's dream and becoming his passer?? That's the part I was most hung up on honestly (but some shippers like it for some reason, explains why they're also the ones who didn't expect Nagi's "death" even though its so obviously written in the text lmao).

Like you've no idea how glad I'm this current arc ended with Reo scoring and his ego awakening and lusting for goals again. I don't necessarily need him to be a full striker, I just need him to have that hunger for goals back again! And with the way its consistently brought up in both epinagi and bllk that his ideal self is to change in different ways to score goals, I'm confident that's the direction he's growing into. GOOD. I like Reo so much more when he has the “striker mentality”. It's nice to see his Chameleon developing too with him questioning "what is his colour".

Talented learner matches really are very different from Geniuses' ones lol. Ngl, personally I enjoy reading TL matches more. Seeing them actively thinking, predicting, observing and making plays, its more fun than hype moves to me (I'm so sorry this feels sinful to say as a Nagi fan 😭 I love you Nagi your hype moves are still the best and beat all other moments 😭)

-

My absolute favorite parts of this chapter though was all the nicknames Nagi's getting. Little baby? Silver fox-hair (ロマンスグレーボーイ)??? “Romance grey boy” is such a random nickname tho, I know it’s to call out his white hair but still 😭 Maybe Luna’s also half calling Nagi good looking???

And why does everyone Nagi meets keep treating him like a baby chick?? I mean it’s so accurate and I love it but I wanna know what exactly these people are seeing to call a 190cm boy a baby lol. He's even drawn exceptionally baby this chapter 😭

I love it though, keep hammering the Nagi is baby agenda please knsr, just like in bllk too. We know it won't last anyway so let us savor this please 😭 My greatest fear is Nagi changing super drastically during his development honestly. Like please, his personality is what endeared him to his fans, please write him well knsr I'm begging you 😭 You can make him badass and independent but still a cute babychick too right? 😭 I don't want some overly egoistical chad coming back 😭

Like even his speech is baby. Its not translated over when Nagi says "tell me before you leave" but in Japanese he says 「教えてよバイバイの前にさ」 ("tell me before you say bye bye") which is again... so cute. It's like when he said "let's live in a dream as we say bye bye" in a previous chapter. Why aren't they capturing the cute nuances of Nagi like before?? The translations are so trash these days!!

Anyway, can't wait for him to get wrecked by Loki next chapter lol considering how sus it is he barely appeared much. I need my ultimate genius-genius interaction!! Idky but Loki has always given me the creeps since his first appearance. He's always drawn so unnerving in a predator/hunter vibe and his background is always dark too... Curious.

I didn't expect Nagi to be interacting with Luna this much instead but I enjoyed it. Lunagi is my new ship :)

Also didn't expect a Rin/Barou kinda speech from Luna lol. Again, flight and bird symbolism. I'm still on the Nagi's gonna gain wings in his aura agenda (delusional). Like no way is this just a "he's currently a baby bird who needs to learn how to fly" reference. And my personal theory for his ego is still "being the one who shines the brightest/feels the most heated up on the field" which can motivate him to do hype moves only he can achieve. But we shall see. He's still being so vague with his ego which is expected since even at NEL he didn't figure it out...

Like Reo's is clearly articulated, his ego is "to shape my destiny with my goals" but for Nagi what he wanna trust in is "to face the world here and now and tear open a new path with this surging emotion"? It feels like he just wanna be immersed in the moment since he's usually so apathetic? I mean it makes sense, I've said this so many times everywhere but Isagi's journey is to learn techniques and logic that can bring out his innate fire to become the number 1 striker, but Nagi? He has all the innate techniques being a genius and all so his journey is to learn how to discover that fire to motivate his genius. So basically his end goal is to feel fired up! Going from death to feeling alive finally!

(Also thanks knsr for the chiginagi crumbs)

About the main manga, I wonder will 299-300 be two chapters of Nagi backstory before its break 🥺 Somehow I’ve doubts we’re getting his backstory here even if I really want it.

[gachagon]

This post delves heavily into Kaiser's backstory that was revealed in recent chapters of Blue Lock. The following content has graphic depictions of child abuse and neglect, so please don't click if that is something that is triggering for you.

I'll be honest and say that i was one of the few people who just originally assumed Kaiser was this rich pompous kid like Reo who's parents probably just neglected him because they were so rich, which is WHY he spends so much time trying to not only be the best but look the best.

But now that we know the truth, and that he actually had what is arguably the WORST childhood out of any of the Blue Lock boys, I think this backstory makes far more sense than what I originally thought.

Kaiser has always been one of the most egotistical players on the field, and I don't think he's ever had moments where he genuinely doubts himself outside of when he's trying to beat Isagi. But we never knew where that ego came from and why he's so hellbent on surpassing everyone. I definitely think growing up in a poverty stricken abusive household with a parent who cares nothing for you would definitely morph your sense of identity into something more than a healthy level of egotism.

And here we can even see an explanation for how Kaiser and Ness got such an unhealthy codependent relationship from the jump. It's not Ness that's the "problem" it's Kaiser (Shocking turn of events wow) Kaiser used soccer as an emotional outlet from the abuse his father subjected him too, but it's the only thing he really has to ground him since he has always been hyper-independent from early childhood.

Kaiser's backstory is interesting because unlike the other Blue Lock boys who's main issue was that they were either too good for soccer, or that the people they played soccer with couldn't keep up, Kaiser's issue was that he ONLY had soccer.

He had no one to compete with and no one to befriend, and his only way of dealing with his home life is by playing alone.

I think this really explains why he treats Ness like a grounding tool or someone to satiate his own ego and worries. He's literally not used to having friends like everyone else, and the one person he did befriend is just as socially stunted as he is. So their relationship just became toxic the more they obsessed over their own personal goals. Kaiser's goal is to become the best, and Ness' goal is to see Kaiser become the best, but when faced with road blocks in their goals they don't know how to handle it all and they immediately end up spiraling.

Kaiser also just doesn't have any healthy coping mechanisms outside of soccer because it is both his goal and his reason for living. So when someone like Isagi who's just an enigma to him stops him in his tracks from being able to succeed, he doesn't have anything after that. If soccer is his coping mechanism but it is also tied into his goals, he can't play it to 'feel better' because it'll just remind him of how he lost or how he's not as good as he should be right now.

I think this panel also explains his whole "choking" thing that Ness walked in on. Now that we also know the origin of the blue rose as well, I find it to be really sad that this symbol of the impossible has been revealed to be tied so heavily with the abuse he faced as a child. It makes the scene where he's choking himself seem less like him trying to "focus" more like he went to also punish himself for being "inadequate".

Even in the panels above where his dad is literally choking him for no reason, his father is telling him how he is worthless and useless etc. It definitely puts into perspective his mindset when he was harming himself.

All this to say that Kaiser has internalized his trauma to a dangerous degree if the current state of his mind is anything to go off of.

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

Here, another impromptu House of the Dragon essay, following episode 6, which has left me obsessed and delighted to see Rhaenyra finally confirmed canonically queer. This is not refined at all, just all off the cuff.

Rhaenyra and Alicent parallel each other in a lot of ways, but one way that I am not seeing brought up a lot is also the way their new partners add to their parallels. Granted, since Rhaenyra and Mysaria kissed literally last episode there hasn't been a lot of time to think, but it's a sign of a much greater trend between Alicent and Rhaenyra in season 2.

The relationship between Alicent and Criston is a direct parallel and foil to the relationship between Rhaenyra and Mysaria in a myriad of ways:

Criston was spurned by Rhaenyra, and when he was at his lowest moment, Alicent came to stop his suicide and raised him up to be her sworn protector. Ever since then, Criston has remained fiercely loyal to Alicent... to an arguably unhealthy degree. He kills Lyman Beesbury not necessarily because he was against the coup, but because he personally accused Alicent of regicide. He puts Alicent up on an enormously high pedestal, as this kind of saviour of his. Likewise, Alicent is bonded with Criston due to their shared betrayal of Rhaenyra.

The relationship itself is very unhealthy. It's almost like they are codependent in a way. Criston is only where he is now because Alicent saved him. He owes a lot to her. Likewise, Alicent owes a lot to Criston for being her biggest champion. Criston is also fairly lowborn. He's from a very low noble house, and is described as the commonborn son of the steward of Lord Blackhaven. He's just at the edge of nobility, and yet he has been on a meteoric rise, shooting from just another knight to a knight of the Kingsguard, to bodyguard of the queen, to Lord Commander and later as Hand, the most powerful position in the realm after the King.

Compare this with Rhaenyra and Mysaria. Both women have been wronged by Daemon, who has used them for his own ends and disregarded their feelings. Daemon promised Mysaria her freedom if she provided names for people to hire to kill Aemond, but ended up simply fucking off to Harrenhal. There, Mysaria, having lost all she built in King's Landing thanks to Larys, is freed by Rhaenyra who decides to honour Daemon's word. Mysaria is not someone to trust easily, and Rhaenyra freeing her when she had no real reason to shows her worth to Mysaria.

Mysaria doesn't necessarily put Rhaenyra on a pedestal though. She is immensely grateful, and she feels Rhaenyra treats her as an equal and that she is meant to be queen, but there is none of this toxic obsessive codependency between the two (at least, not yet) that is displayed with Alicent and Criston. Like Alicent and Criston, however, they bond through a shared experience of betrayal by someone else, in this case Daemon.

Both relationships are those that would not be looked on lightly by society. Alicent is the dowager queen, Criston is sworn to celibacy, while Rhaenyra and Mysaria are both women in a world where queer relationships aren't exactly viewed in a positive light. Criston and Mysaria are also both contrasting partners, as they are of low rank (though Mysaria is not from a noble house unlike Criston) but are self-made people who climbed to a high position; Criston through his skill at arms, Mysaria through the trade of selling information.

Criston and Mysaria also have a contrasting relationship with the Hightowers and Targaryens. At least in Criston's eyes, Rhaenyra Targaryen betrayed him and brought him low, only to be raised by Alicent Hightower. Meanwhile, Mysaria is brought low by Alicent but raised back up by Rhaenyra. However, despite the gap in the power structure between Rhaenyra and Mysaria being far greater than that of Criston and Alicent, the power dynamic is actually completely opposite.

Season 2 began with Alicent holding power, with Criston subservient to her, with Otto working alongside her. It also began with Rhaenyra being powerless due to the crippling grief of losing Luke and then following Blood and Cheese refusing to make any moves that could hurt more innocent people, which weakens her own standing among her council. But as the season progresses, this gets flipped upside down. When Criston is named Hand, we see a major shift in his dynamic with Alicent. There is a lot of fuss made about Alicent's sex scene with him at the end of episode 2, but this actually conveys this perfectly. Without Alicent's leave, Criston suddenly makes himself at home in her bedchambers, and instead of kneeling to her or letting her be on top, he takes control of her.

Alicent grows more and more distant from Criston as he settles into his position as Hand. Suddenly, Criston feels that by vetoing Alicent from being the regent, he is protecting her from the terrible things they will be doing in the course of the war. Again, this works alongside Criston's weird complex about Alicent being his saviour. She seems so pure in his eyes that he is protecting her by taking on the sins of leadership just as he has protected her all these years as her sworn protector. The problem is that at the same time this devalues Alicent because this is another misogynistic assumption on his part that women should not sully themselves by having a hand with such nasty business. Criston thinks he's protecting her, but at the same time weakening her and making her even more vulnerable, and this is why their relationship eventually falters.

We see the exact opposite with Rhaenyra and Mysaria. Mysaria is at the mercy of Rhaenyra, but Rhaenyra allows her a place in her court as an advisor. Mysaria grows in power in this position, just as Cole did. However, that doesn't come at the expense of Rhaenyra's own power. Thanks to Daemon's reckless, self-serving actions, the Black Council's unhelpful misogyny, and undermining advice, Rhaenyra finds she does not wield influence at court. Except with Mysaria.

With Mysaria, Rhaenyra learns that there is another way to gain power, and that is with the support of the common people. Together, the two conspire to instigate riots in King's Landing and destabilize the Greens hold on the city, while Rhaenyra herself finds that she wants to be spearheading the more militaristic aspects of the war. When Mysaria sees Rhaenyra holding a sword, she says "this becomes you," supporting Rhaenyra's endeavour to take after her idol and hero Visenya and become a warrior queen.

Yet, as Mysaria later tells Rhaenyra, this doesn't in any way make her less powerful. Rhaenyra has treated Mysaria as an equal, her closest advisor, her unofficial Hand (even with Corlys newly named). The mutual bond between the two then reaches a crescendo in a tender moment of vulnerability and gratitude for each other, and their embrace quickly becomes a passionate kiss.

Criston casts Alicent down, but Mysaria raises Rhaenyra up. Criston and Alicent's relationship is based on this shared betrayal by Rhaenyra which became codependent on their united front of this shared history. Meanwhile, though Rhaenyra and Mysaria's relationship does come somewhat from the way Daemon has hurt them both, it is primarily based on honesty and compassion. In this way, as of right now, Rhaenyra and Mysaria are the most healthy couple in House of the Dragon.

One final observation is that I think Alicent and Rhaenyra are also trying to emulate certain people in these relationships. Alicent, always having envied Rhaenyra for her freedom, is finally forgoing any temperance to allow herself to enjoy sex for the first time in her life. Her doing something so reckless is her trying to be like Rhaenyra. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra kissing Mysaria is partially her trying to be more like Daemon, as much as I also believe it is loneliness and genuine attraction to her. She literally states before the kiss that Daemon was everything she wished she was. This may be only the beginning. We are starting to see a much more fiery side of her, as she begins to don the image of a warrior queen who wishes to win this war.

I will also say this, while we are on the topic; it's very meaningful to me that Rhaenyra is canonically queer, especially as a queer person myself. Queer characters are nothing new in the A Song of Ice and Fire universe, but we don't have any truly canonically queer protagonists. Dany and Cersei may qualify but that is much less to do with actual attraction to women and more simply good old lesbian experimentation (not to mention written in a pretty exploitative and male-gazey way). Rhaenyra has shades of both characters in her kiss with Mysaria, but from everything I've laid out, it's not experimentation. Rhaenyra is just bisexual.

Rhaenyra being in a polyamorous relationship with Mysaria and Daemon has been a headcanon of mine ever since Fire and Blood came out, and I've picked up on the vibes between them this season, which made me hearing about the complaints that it came "out of nowhere" really strange, because it truly didn't. It's been building up slowly the past few episodes, and it's just the logical conclusion based on what was presented.

How this will change her relationship with Daemon, I cannot say. But I will say that I believe if Daemon is jealous of Rhaenyra and Mysaria being together, it won't be because of fidelity or homophobia, but purely because they are both women he has been with, which would trigger all sorts of insecurities.

[petrichormore]

really hope this fandom doesn’t boil down Ron’s character and Ron’s relationship to q!bbh as just “haha Stockholm syndrome” because

1. the first ‘case’ of Stockholm syndrome was literally made up by police to discredit a woman. it was made up. Arguably not real. a very misunderstood phenomena.

and 2. Their relationship is so much more complex than that? especially Ron’s motives and decision making, but also q!Bad’s motives as well. They are both completely fucked in the head and fully believe they care about the other (or rather, we know q!bbh is so twisted that he’s come to care about Ron - from what we know this is not a giant ploy to give Ron Stockholm syndrome. maybe it was at first but now he’s just batshit crazy). The toxic codependency they have going on is so intriguing and like whatever it’s funny to point and go “lima/stockholm syndrome” as a generalization but don’t be like “and this relationship is toxic because it’s just Stockholm syndrome” nuh uh. it’s toxic for a million other reasons as well. Get swarmed 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[kasunex]

I think Ashley and Andrew make an interesting contrast to Asuka and Shinji from NGE.

Andrew and Shinji both feign as passive, but are arguably the more manipulative and dangerous of the two. They also both end up strangling the other, and in both cases, the other responds with affection.

Ashley and Asuka are both outspoken, emotional, and more focused on recieving affection and validation than Andrew and Shinji, who are the more sexually charged in the pair. Ironically, both Ashley and Asuka are more sexually forward, viewing sexuality as a means to affection - but evidentally worry the other doesn't find them attractive. (Ashley he's your brother, chill)

On that note, both pairings are caught in toxic dynamics in part because of insecurity about the other's affections. This is definitely a lot more understandable in Asuka and Shinji's case, though, given that they aren't too close. Andrew and Ashley are just insatiably co-dependent.

Now that said, I would actually consider their relationships inverses of one another. Asuka and Shinji's problem is that they can't create the closeness they both seek because of an inability to reach out to one another. By contrast, Andrew and Ashley ARE close, and it's clear they are each other's top priorities besides. It's a far cry from Asuka and Shinji's begrudging distance.

But for as close as Andrew and Ashley are, their problem is the opposite extreme to Asuka and Shinji - it's not that their boundaries are too strong, but rather that they are non-existent. That's part of what pushed their relationship from siblings into incest.

Thus, ultimately, Asuka and Shinji can be reconciled with the idealistic but perhaps not completely unrealistic idea of them growing and coming to terms with their own trauma before helping each other. They would just have to learn to accept they other as they are, rather than for their distant front.

Andrew and Ashley's relationship is a lot more complex, and not just because reestablishing boundaries is much more difficult than breaking them down. There's also a much more open question of what their relationship at that point would even be. The incest seems a natural result of their intertwined codependency, thus raising a stronger question of whether they would they even want to establish boundaries in the first place.

[nemaliwrites]

top 5 miraculous ships?

oooh a fun one...these kind of asks are also lowkey a slap in the face bc it shows me how little i write about the ships i like the most - but also!!! motivation to actually write more for them!

for the purposes of this ask, i'm treating all sides of the lovesquare as separate ships...mostly because they don't all show up in my top 5 HAHA

ladynoir. they are lovers. they are best friends. they are in the most toxic codependent relationship ever. they make each other cry. they send each other memes. etc etc 10/10 no notes

lilanette. if you guys saw HALF the shit @rosekasa and i get up to in DMs, trust me, you would hop aboard this ship with us. it is so toxic yuri in the best way. the implications!!! marinette being the only one to see the truth in the liar! the only one to see her for who she truly is! the london special also fed us for this hehe

felinette. a ship that i think about way more than i write for, unfortunately. but!! SO much potential! toxic het! the two people who love adrien the most in the world! félix naturally rebelling against people in power vs ladybug, arguably the most powerful person in the world right now! do you see it!!!

kittybella. okay, look. i would have NEVER thought about zoé and alya together. but!! scarabella and kitty noire have scrambled me up in a way i never saw coming. they have season one ladynoir vibes! they are friends outside the masks! what's not to like?

ladrien. i will never stop being mad about the fact that ladrien is so underrated compared to marichat - i wasn't in the early ages of the ml fandom also, so i just?? never got it?? ladrien is about the PINING! the YEARNING! the way BOTH of them are SO conscious of their positions and statuses compared to the other person!

[harrowharkwife]

ill go with sex pal :P but if that's already done, gideon :)

HIIIIII!!!!!!! hi friend!!!!!

favorite thing about them: PALAMEDESSSSSS my boy palamedes. my little guy. man, okay, what do i love about him. i love the way he loves. i am fascinated by his clumsy and imperfect and well-meaning but inherently flawed attempts/approaches to things like agency and ethics and fairness and respect. i love that he pays attention to everything. i love his drive. i love his gambling streak, his tendency to play the odds. i love that he's a boy who writes love letters™. i love how open he is about his affections and his feelings. i love his penchant for using terms of endearment. his love for teaching. his willingness to get up on a soapbox for things he believes in, even if he winds up stumbling sidelong into insufferable preachy condescension half the time. i love that he tries. i love that he sometimes fucks up and hurts the people around him. i love his boldness. i love his sweetness. i love his kindness. that boy could make friends with a brick wall if you gave him enough time. i love that he canonically writes weird erotica to cope. i love his taste in women. i love his gender. i just love him

least favorite thing about them: i mean, i could go on forever. he's deeply annoying sometimes, and as much as it's part of his charm, it also makes me want to thwap him upside the head from time to time, like. boy. shut UP!!! but the real answer is honestly his position as sixth house scion. master warden is an unspeakably rancid title in vibes alone and i sincerely hope we dig into the backstory behind that a little more in AtN. i find it fascinating, and troubling, and tragic, and frustrating, all the ways in which he talks the talk re: cavaliers and agency and free will, but when the rubber meets the road, do his actions really back that up? arguably, not always. and the guilt and complicity and codependent toxicity there re: camilla, is like catnip to me. he loves her, he respects her, she's his best friend, he's in awe of her and her abilities and her strength. and yet, time and time again, he puts her through harrowing things and thanks her each time she shoulders his burdens. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, it makes me so sad, it's a snake eating its own tail, it is a mobius strip of toxic power imbalance codependent enmeshment and it is FASCINATING to think about. if i keep going we'll be here all night, but just. i think fandom has a tendency to write him as The Good Person™ (him and Camilla both) and, like, i love him as much as the next girl, but he's a head of state in an empire, with all the implications that brings with it.

favorite line: "how god takes, and takes, and takes." "fool us twice, shame on god." "thank god for that mad, stubborn, lovely girl." "it's not you, it's me wearing you." (moira quirk's inflection on that line is literally fucking haunting, btw.) "do you know, i miss harrowhark terribly." "and, most personally, this is for dulcinea septimus." god. i just love him

brOTP: harrow, and also gideon.

OTP: im shy <3

nOTP: im struggling to think of a pal pairing that i Couldn't find compelling or at least interesting, if written the right way, in the right light. he's just my interesting little guy. he's a barbie and im making him scissor all the other barbies. who said that

random headcanon: glasses chain. earrings. palamedes can have she/her pronouns, every now and then, as a treat. contrary to the initial assumption of everyone he's ever met, he's actually Not autistic. (cam is; he's just got wicked bad adhd.) jewamedes is also fun

unpopular opinion: i mean i guess just what i said up top re: people sometimes acting like he's never done anything wrong in his life? i love him but i love him Because he is an interesting and deeply morally gray (ha) character.

song i associate with them: what you can't look up by walk the moon, tiny moves by bleachers, to someone from a warm climate by hozier, chateau lobby #4 in c for two virgins by father john misty, shiver shiver by walk the moon, star by mitski, hopedrunk everasking by caroline polachek, GAMBLER'S PRAYER BY CAROLINE POLACHEK my ultimate palamedes song

favorite picture of them: ive tattooed every single piece of palamedes art ive ever seen on the inside of my eyelids. except white palamedes fanart which is always such a jumpscare

[couldtransitionsaveher]

RHYS VON LOUET from CITRUSGROVES' D&D CAMPAIGN

JUSTIFICATION:

"The most maternal cringefail paladin in dnd history, Rhys is stuck is a toxic marriage (Literally. She gets poisoned. More than once), and has seven children she is SO proud of. Rhys is stuck in this marriage as she's severely closeted and in denial, she stays because she feels like she should, since she's been in this marriage for about 20 years at this point.

Rhys has always enjoyed feminine things, and arguably has more maternal instincts than anything (she adopts every sentient creature in a 20-mile radius). She also loves to deny herself things that make her happy (IE. Femininity and stability), and she's also incredibly detached from her sense of identity and clinging on to what little she has left that was given to her by other people.

Rhys's case entirely stems from her codependency on others to define herself and her role in society/life, even when those opinions harm her view of herself. She's scared of looking within herself for validation and to find her sense of self, and she struggles to love herself and find the happiness that she's lacking." - @citrusgroves

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

Did you make your daily click today?

[forestofforever]

Just thinking about how the dynamic between Benjamin and Sylvester is so different in the Forest of Forever AU while also retaining some qualities from their Captured Crow AU.

In the Captured Crow AU, Sylvester has been lured in by Benjamin and torn down until he became heavily reliant on Benjamin. His mental health has been ruined and he has lost his place in the world, he wants to escape but Benjamin makes it nearly impossible and even if he were to escape, Sylvester fears the situation he'll find himself in once he does. Their relationship is a toxic one, no genuine love on either side, just a messed up kind of codependency with a tremendous power imbalance.

In the Forest of Forever AU, the Heart (Benjamin) is literally responsible for creating the Crow (Sylvester), the Crow would not even exist if it hadn't been for him. The Crow is tied to the Heart and as a result, the Heart can take full control. Still, the Crow in this AU is far less desperate to escape, he does not hate his situation in the way that Sylvester does, it's all he knows after all. Humanity has turned its back on him, meanwhile the Heart provides him with safety and purpose. The Heart is admitedly a bit less heinous than Benjamin, not quite as likely to harm the Crow unless given a very good reason. There is still a massive power imbalance, arguably even bigger than in the Captured Crow AU, but there is also more mutual appreciation and understanding between the two of them.

(That being said, the Heart being able to literally take away the Crow's voice and sense of comprehension whenever he pleases is still pretty messed up).

[roseaceae]

and i won't forget to put roses on your grave

 ִֶָ ᯽ .ﾟ https.inthefieldofanemones.com is the debut mini album of south korean boy band BLUE ROSE.﹙02.13.16﹚

released in the bruising winter of FEBRUARY 2016, the debut album ‘IN THE FIELD OF ANEMONES’ seems to function as more of a return than the debut of a group consisting of well unknown people. the countless creative decisions and specifically designed structure made most question if this album was originally recorded for someone else, how does a group just debut with this? extensive electric guitars and all. true to the spirit which would become synonymous of the group, the album is a look on the feeling of melancholy in all of it's truest forms, a piece of work detailing the cruelties of toxic love, and how, life doesn't always work out the way we may want it to.

though not a smash hit in it's original days, often blasted for ‘trying so hard to be different’, it was clear from the get go that the album was something truly special, a combined collection of five tracks that completely encapsulated how it felt to get kicked down. the album had quite the resurgence in 2018 after each individual track abruptly went viral in their own right, skyrocketing the sales from their previous five hundred fifty thousand to one million. it's safe to say, even if the album didn't exactly fly when it was released, it's remembered as an arguably great piece of music.

 ִֶָ ᯽ .ﾟ . . STATS !

RELEASE DATE 02 / 13 / 16 PROMOTIONAL PERIOD 3 WEEKS UNITS SOLD 1M WINS 1

 ִֶָ ᯽ .ﾟ . . THE TRACKS !

FLOWER ROCK WRITTEN. 梅沢謙三 & 나해일 PROD. 梅沢謙三 & 나해일 WITHERED WRITTEN. 향나무 PROD. 나해일 BLUEMING WRITTEN. 케레스 PROD. 梅沢謙三 & 케레스 A MONSTER WRITTEN. 파란 장미 PROD. 梅沢謙三 & 나해일 REI WRITTEN. 梅沢謙三 & 나해일 PROD. 梅沢謙三 & 나해일

 ִֶָ ᯽ .ﾟ . . the general consensus of the public is that this album is a four (.5) out of five

 ִֶָ ᯽ .ﾟ 𖦹 insight from an anonymous user 021716

‘IN THE FIELD OF ANEMONES’ is a sure fire debut album, an unprecedented identity usually not seen in newly debuted groups.. or bands i suppose you could call them. the album is a weird mixture, because in the never ending winter depression, that's exactly what this album delivers? it's a strange way of expressing “i fucking hate everything” through catchy electric guitar tunes and insanely well shot notes. i'm not sure that the groups exact goal was to attempt relatability through their constant complaints regarding life and everything about it, but if it was, sign me up, it's not something i even knew i needed, but now that it's around, i simply can't stop listening to it.

the opening track, which also happens to be the title ‘FLOWER ROCK’ is so fucking insane i had to check a few times if this was actually a kpop album or not. this song, along with two others on the album, was written and produced by the strangest duo to come out of the second generation of beloved boy groups KENZO & CZR, but even with their questionable friendship that includes the strange ways they refer to each other (it's clear their ‘friendship’ can best be described as ‘a dangerous feat of codependency’), it's clear that the two know music, and the two know how to conceptualize music in a certain way. ‘FLOWER ROCK’ isn't the most telling song, it doesn't have an overarching message, it's simply a catchy rock song with crazy vocals (i greatly commend cupid & ceres), it was the perfect take for title in my opinion, as the general public would probably have a heart attack with any of the other tracks being chosen.

the second track ‘WITHERED’, written by member juniper, is horrifically gloom-ridden. the song delves into the topic of suicide, seemingly more of a diary entry that was turned into a song to spread some message. i have to admit, after the title track got me pumped up, looking up the lyrics of this song really made me sink back down into my seat. it's a harrowing look into the minds of idols that are typically deemed to be “perfection personified”, it's somewhat of a breath of fresh air, something that you don't exactly expect from a debut album. the song also isn't your usual ballad, no, it's fucking aggressive, it screams in your face, it screams the whole way out until it's done. in a way, it's agonizing, but in a strange way, the agony is worth it. i was genuinely surprised, but i suppose that's the point. the song usually bounces between top 3 and 2 for me, but it never goes below that.

track three ‘BLUEMING’ is a cute tune that i would listen to on a friday when classes get too bad and i need to hammer back a few ones (for all intensive purposes that was a joke!). i could dance to it, really, i might just make up one right now. it's definitely a crazy jump, considering we went from a singing about dying to singing about love. the attention to gender neutral lyrics is something i didn't click until my second listen (okay ceres i see how you play..), but it's also kind of cute? thank you ceres we appreciate all you've done for society!! it's not my favorite song on the album, the lovely (pun intended) lyrics give a different look to the album that i assumed would be all sadness. of course not all of the lyrics are.. happy, i assume this song is dedicated to an ex lover of sorts, but if you go into it blind, it seems pretty fun! i'll dance to it in between drinks!! i'll make sure to!

our second to last track ‘A MONSTER’ is a song written by all of the members, and good lord it has no right to slap as hard as it does. the rap?? the instrumental?? maybe we should all just die because who does dione think he is? anyway, my death aside, the song is an amazing contender for title, and should've been at least a promoted bside, i would literally pay for that, i still will pay for that!! (luxe design contact me). it admittedly takes a good getting used to, especially if you aren't exactly in tune with the style they were going for. the instrumental is so strange that i question how they made it work as well as it did, i hope it becomes their thing, i need to hear ceres sing over tweaked soundcloud beats more, but alas.. it's a good song, i'm almost sort of ashamed to enjoy it.

and finally, the final track, ‘REI’, one of my favorite kpop songs of the year by far. coming from one of the many meanings of the name, “soul” or “spirit”. the song is actually so surprising in the sense that you hope it would be cute, but it isn't. again written and produced by our favorite pair of homosexuals (do not sue me for that i totally believe that kenzo and czr have a completely normal friendship), “rei” seems to be a placeholder name for the person who hurt these men, and honestly what the actual fuck did rei do because they are DEVASTATED, who even sings like that!? this track quickly takes it's place as my favorite on the album, stealing the top spot away from ‘WITHERED’, who is really just having a losing battle with ‘A MONSTER’. with all that said, ‘REI’ is the spitting image of heartbreak itself. it's crazy, someone must've really hurt ceres, did you HEAR those notes? give him some therapy!!

all in all, the album was spectacular for a debut album, it feels like these guys have already been around for years, they all seem to have so much experience. i have never seen a debut album like this in kpop, a song about suicide in winter is INSANE, i guess the winter depression is hitting them hard. not to mention, the music videos were like watching some feature length film, i have a lot of hope for blue rose, their name is super cute, and their concept seems promising. though some of the songs had points i couldn't exactly wrap my head around, it's all pretty good music. my formal ranking of the tracks on this album is rei, a monster, withered, flower rock, and blueming. a good start to a hopefully promising career.

[amaryllis-sagitta]

One thing that comes to mind is emotional enmeshment, which usually happens in the context of toxic codependency and parentification.

"If you love me, you shall willingly take on all the labour of emotional containment, understanding and nurturing to the point of unconscious telepathy because I don't view you as a person outside of myself/ lack the maturity to regulate myself and thus need the guardian-ward relationship reversed to function". The enmeshment part happens when personal boundaries in a relationship dissolve, and the feelings and needs of one person become the feelings and needs of another person because their bond has been established on the basis of unquestionable servitute. More or less.

This makes me think of how religion/ spirituality (at least in my experience) tells us to "leave our worries to [your deity of choice]" as a means of reducing overthinking and maintaining hope, which is also thought to function within the parent-child analogy between the deity and their worshippers. Which, in principle, is a helpful imperative to have. Anaris reverses that imperative by leaving his worries to his inner circle.

And this, I argue, is just a different method of being a toxic elvhen god. Elgar'mythal were the symbolic parents of the elvhenkind. Now, we know for sure that there were originally more Evanuris and that the Forgotten Ones were dissidents. Anaris is only slightly cleverer than Elgar'nan, insofar as he weaponizes psychology instead of using terror and the sheer force of intrusion upon thoughts and mental torture. In a similar way, Mythal might have slipped under the radar by providing her people with necessities and protection but asking really weird favors in return etc.

We know how invasive Elgar'nan has been with people's minds. It's really telling that at least some Evanuris, or formerly Evanuris, canonically can't respect the boundaries of the individual body and mind, and it is arguably the need to be inside others' minds, or at least an understanding of "like-mindedness" as their tangible, controlling presence in others' minds, that pushes them into tyranny one way or another.

there's something so interesting about the way anaris' mind control mask doesn't work by him exerting his will on people directly or even by taking their own will away in any way; he dominates by demanding -- no no, not demanding, requesting, offering 🥺 as a gracious gift -- that his followers take on his emotions as a show of devotion, at the same time that he frames it as a mark of his favour and closeness. there's something so evocative of a certain and very precise kind of emotional abuse/manipulation there that I can't really put into words otherwise. the mask may be heightened fantasy nonsense, but the underlying 'if you really loved me you'd feel as I feel and be willing to take on all my pain so you would understand me, you wouldn't protest me vomiting all my emotions into you indiscriminately at all times' logic is... very recognizable and mundanely, viscerally icky. he bludgeons his followers with his own uncontrolled fear and pain until they all flinch with him, and then he tells them they're special for being able to accept this higher understanding (and inversely they're a disappointment and revealing their unworthiness and weakness if they want to take the mask off and breathe without 24/7 anaris angst getting piped into their neurons). the whole questline of course gestures at dealing with a family member joining a cult or extremist group lead by a charismatic figure, but within that I find the metaphor they build into the mask a really interesting angle to take on that.

...also sorry about your life cyrian lutare

[nobleriver]

Hey umm...

do you ship whouffaldi?

just a general question i like to ask...

Oh, I don't mind questions.

Personally, I view 12 and Clara as an extremely codependent, increasingly toxic friendship. Toxic as in destructive, not abusive. 12 and Clara being together in the TARDIS was acidic. And those are some of the most painful relationships. When you love each other so much and you never want to leave the other, but you have to. You have to say goodbye because you're corrosive. You're hurting each other. And as much as you try, you don't know how to stop being corrosive.

I think this take on what would happen if the Doctor/Companion dynamic morphed into something twisted was beautifully written and honestly, executed to perfection. Season 9 is probably my favorite season.

And I really enjoy the comments Moffat made on that being the reason the TARDIS didn't like Clara at first (which implies he had been considering this ending for Clara from the beginning):

“The TARDIS, being aware of all time simultaneously, was also aware that Clara was the precise motivator that would drive the Doctor to an extreme that was dangerous for all time and space.”

“[The TARDIS] knew, that although the Doctor loved her very much, she was bad for him and that the coming of the Hybrid would be the result of their association.” (DWM, I think Issue 502?? Not sure.)

[Side note: This makes me wonder if the TARDIS intentionally crash landed in Amy's backyard. Because Amy and Rory had to become companions, or else Melody would have never been born. And even if she had been, she wouldn't have been River, the time travelling, gun-toting archaeologist. And that would have caused all sorts of paradoxes. And broke time. Again. But back to Clara.]

All the other companions had something or someone to ground them to reality, to life outside of the Doctor. Rose had her mom. Martha had her passion for medicine, her siblings and her quarrelsome parents, four people who relied on and needed her. Donna had Wilfred. And Amy had Rory. And then she and Rory built a life apart from the Doctor, where their daughter would pop in their backyard for a drink and to catch up on life. But Clara...what grounded her?

In S9, we barely visited the school.

We saw her family in present day once in S7, and her grandmother once in S8. And not once in S9, which I believe was intentional (I suspect to further highlight she was losing who she once was and becoming addicted like the Doctor - and to the Doctor). To be honest, I forgot she had a family. They're practically nonexistent.

And who else was there? I mean she had the two kids she babysat in S7, who promptly disappeared into the void of nowhere to be seen or heard of again in S8 and S9. Then, she fell in love with Danny Pink in S8, but that relationship was highly strained and eventually imploded because she was also in love with the Doctor, arguably even more in love with him (Clara confessed Danny and the Doctor were the only two men she ever loved in Last Christmas). Maybe if Danny had lived, Clara's ending might have been different. Only Moffat knows. But Danny didn't. And she was left behind. Without a tether. All she had left was the Doctor. And she was all he had too. She was his tether. And the codependency of their friendship promptly crossed the point of no return.

And the Doctor could see it happening. He tried to protect her:

"This is my own fault...Do you know what you need? You need a hobby! Or even better, another relationship!" (9.03)

He knew she needed something or someone to ground her. A tether to the outside world. Or else, just like him, she would lose herself.

However, all warning signs were ignored. And viewers watched as Clara slowly walked off a cliff. And the Doctor fell right alongside her.

[wontbyers]

Disclaimer, because this is a pretty new blog but if you want to follow you might see I’ll eventually have a tag for both #mileven and #anti mileven which might be confusing: I don’t hate Mileven. I actually think they are cute together and it wasn’t until sometime after volume 2 that I even stopped believing they would be the endgame ship. I only got into the Byler side of things after watching volume 1 and decided I like the ship (I’ve always been a multi-shipper in my fanbases, pairings literally don’t need to be either canon or endgame to simply enjoy them folks!!!) but I still thought Mileven was going to be endgame and I was content with that.

Until how vol.2 handled things with Will’s feelings and his whole plot relevance this season just being used to push Mike/El’s relationship back together—and Mike’s monologue had me feeling torn at first because it was half sweet? Like what I had been waiting for since vol.1, for him to tell her he loves her, but the other half just gave me this awful, sinking feeling….It felt wrong, and maybe because some of what he was saying wasn’t fully genuine, or maybe it’s because Will is my favorite character so it just hurts to see him hurt even if it’s (supposedly) good for El (which is arguable if that monologue was good for her at that point based on analyses.)

But it’s also because, if it turns out that Byler is NOT the end goal, that Mileven does stay together, that means they really used the one gay male character in the show’s pain and heartbreak to solidify the heterosexual pairing. And it’s NOT and will never be a competition of who between Will and El has dealt with more trauma or who “deserves” to be with Mike because love is not about deserving people anyway. It’s not about which ship would be cuter or healthier because they’re not real people, they’re fictional characters. They could easily be written to repair any “toxic” or codependent tendencies in their relationship and be perfectly fine and happy together!

It’s about the fact that LGBT+ people deserve to see stories where people like us are happy and not just “unrequited in love with their straight best friend” or “bury your gays” or anything else harmful. And LGBT+ audiences also deserve not to be toyed with and led on to believe that certain pairings we see suggested in the narrative could actually happen, only to wait years for the final season to come and find out that they were leading us astray to keep us invested just to realize “oh, no, that’s right, gay people don’t get happy endings….silly us, again.”

Rather than that, I choose to believe that the ST writers aren’t planning to do that to us. They’ve written a show about and for the outcasts and the people society shoves down, and I believe they won’t spit on our faces like that with Will’s storyline. I think they’re going to give him his happy ending. I believe in Byler endgame, which necessarily means I believe Mileven isn’t going to be endgame.

So I will reblog posts that point out specific details of the show with analyses that attempt to prove that the narrative we’ve been presented isn’t in favor of casting Mileven’s relationship in a positive light—contrasting them with Byler, and giving El a much-needed independence arc and autonomy she really hasn’t experienced yet in her life—and it isn’t about whether I like them together or not, whether I think Mileven could be healthy or not, whether I think El herself is “ready” for a romantic relationship or not, it’s about the story I want to believe they’re actually writing—which is to say not a homophobic one where Will Byers gets no happiness at the end of the day.

Also, don’t think this is me saying I only ship Byler because it’s gay or because of politics. I have ALWAYS been a fan of friends-to-lovers over love-at-first-sight tropes. Childhood best friends to lovers is actually my FAVORITE, which made it soooo easy for me to immediately love Byler as soon as I realized it was an option. I just wasn’t really aware of the ship in this case before s4 bc I didn’t see any of the hints that there were feelings between them, I just knew that Will was gay from s1 and thought that was about it. Didn’t even notice Mike’s queer-coding until tumblr analysts pointed it out. The Byler fanbase really opened my eyes and it’s impossible to go back now!

Idk if there’s anything else I wanna say on this topic rn, but yeah. I don’t hate Mileven, I just hate homophobia and if Mileven is endgame, the ST writers will literally have written quite a homophobic storyline for Will—because they didn’t need to make him be in love with Mike in the first place if he’s not going to get a happy ending. If they were just going to use his feelings to repair a straight ship. And did they accidentally queer-code Michael Wheeler THAT hard?? for no reason??? Nope. There has to be a reason, so I’m sorry Mileven, I loved you, but you will be a nice non-canon ship for me, because Byler is endgame or else <3