#also also I just want to say I wish more people would analyze this chapter from the perspective of Vash having recently regained his memory | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kamiversee · 9 months ago

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The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.

The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.).

Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)

(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)

holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.

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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)

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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.

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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl

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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.

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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^

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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.

"I made a mistake." [reader]

"A good one."

"Bad one." You correct.

this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.

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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)

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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?"

The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16

THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')

"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21

AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.

You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense.

Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much?

If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23

i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!

the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE

"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine."

...

You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?"

...

"Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused.

There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.

of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK

——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.

BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin.

You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question.

"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.

this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.

chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;

the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)

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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)

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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.

no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID

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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.

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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him

then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…

the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.

WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.

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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏

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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.

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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)

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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.

the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.

the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT

Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna-

Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-

GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!

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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹

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seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.

but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.

the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.

we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.

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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅

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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.

i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.

kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.

but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.

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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶

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okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;

Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.

we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?

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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D

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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.

what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing?

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A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.

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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.

the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?

what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?

regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.

to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)

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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟

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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)

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but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.

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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together.

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it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.

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my citations for these theories ☝️🤓

“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56

loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).

“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.”

“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?”

“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement.

“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him.

He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.”

You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?”

“Yup.” - Chapter 56

is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.

But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. - Chapter 8

the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.

Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth.

He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9

the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).

He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober.

"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21

if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.

He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..."

Your brows furrow at that.

Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22

YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP

"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29

"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you."

You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..."

"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly.

You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?"

"You are."

His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense."

"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29

🧍‍♀️

anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.

"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person."

"You could've prevented all this though..."

Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30

this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.

"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you."

Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him.

If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.

COME ON NOW.

There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35

“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.”

“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow.

“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45

You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.”

Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up.

“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.”

“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility-

You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.”

Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…”

“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.”

He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.”

“But it’s true.” You say.

And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46

if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).

He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53

then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).

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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3

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but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;

It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing.

So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence.

The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8

Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.

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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)

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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).

the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.

also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3

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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉

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there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.

so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.

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A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!

┗━━━

---

regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.

yap fin (for now)

-☃️

A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.

This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)

To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)

Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))

P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!

#the f*ck list #tfl!theories #tfl spoiler #tfl #k!ans: ☃️

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coffin-ramblings · 29 days ago

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In your opinion, what makes Andrew's interest in Ashley romantic rather than just sexual? Love your analyses and wanted your expert opinion, bc personally I'm kinda on the fence about it

I am very flattered that you like my analysts and consider me an expert! It is a great honor to be told that.

The first evidence Andrew is romantically in love with Ashley is this dialogue back in Episode 1. This was actually one of the big reasons why I did not check out Episode 2 for a long while because of how fucking weird Andrew is. I already knew he was weird and actually down bad for Ashley, but that moment really shows how deeply fucked up this guy is. What do you mean you think it's too romantic to commit suicide by jumping off the balcony with your sister? Even Ashley thinks he's weird there.

And then he explains that he thinks it's romantic because that'd mean their bodies would be be entangled together and have to be buried in the same coffin. Despite this, he likes that Ashley wants to join him, which wow, okay dude.

We now fast forward to chapter 2, where we get a lot more of incestuous hints from Andrew.

The first obvious one that you will always see is Andrew checking on Ashley because she's obviously in a bad mood having their burglary thwarted and having to talk with, cook for, and eat with their mother who abandoned them, likely sold them out, and wanted them dead. Ashley doesn't want to talk about it because this confirms her desire to sacrifice them and was hoping she didn't have to say it to Andrew, so she is also frustrated he's not picking that up either and being snappy. Andrew then thinks, "I want to hug her until she smiles", which okay, that's innocuous enough, but is then followed by, "I'm not going to do it, it's another thought that I wish I never had." What kind of thoughts do you have that makes you not want to hug your sister and comfort her Andrew? Isn't it a good thing you want to make her happy especially in this really shit day? And why are you blushing at that thought???

After that, you can have Andrew go talk with their mother and have this gem:

While it's easy to think Andrew thinking, "I don't want to grow fonder of Ashley because she's a bitch" if you see this the first time, notice that he starts blushing there. He very much does not want his romantic desires for Ashley intensified, nor does he ever want to be separated from her as we find out later on at the fireplace if you are on Burial route.

And before that, Andrew eats Ashley's mom-and-dad soup despite his obvious reluctance to and his outright refusal in Decay. He is only doing this to make Ashley happy, when the day before, he was holding back from just hugging her to cheer her up because of the fear that intimacy with Ashley will expose his feelings, which is why Ashley is surprised. That is, quite weirdly, a romantic gesture of Andrew.

And finally, no matter how you get Burial Sane, Andrew is still on better terms with her than before their parents died. Sure he's grumpy and aloof, but he still is happy to be with her and he doesn't start blaming her for their situation. This unnerves Ashley because she now realizes that he doesn't "need" her, but he's still hanging around for who knows how long and she can't guarantee he will stay.

It's easy to think that Andrew's feelings for Ashley is just sexual when the main focus has been Burial Questionable and the confirmation that they can have sex in Decay. Sane often gets neglected for being boring, "pointless", and Ashley being "out of character" for not teasing Andrew about the incest vision, but it is still a major route of the game and is worth analyzing. People often miss the main point of the game is that Andrew's and Ashley's (mostly) platonic relationship is already under a lot of strain due to their mutual distrust that the other will betray and/or leave them, Ashley being too stuck in the past in the most obvious form of being attached to Andy, and Andrew being cold to Ashley because he can't be honest with his affection for her. They have to rebuild their relationship as family and friends first before they can have a relatively healthy romantic relationship. Even after that obstacle, the fear of being rejected for their incestuous feelings is very real and valid when they're also family, and if the other leaves them for that or stops being on good terms with them, they are completely alone and/or heartbroken because they have no one left to love them and for them to love back.

This is why Andrew represses his romantic desire for Ashley, and Ashley can choose to stay platonic with him or tell Andrew that they will not have sex. They are both aware this really is not normal, they are most likely going to be rejected because it's abnormal, and they are afraid of what will happen after rejection. They value each other so much that they will be happy to give up their own desires if it means that they can still have each other around. That is also quite romantic, and needless to say, a very common experience for people who have trouble with confessing or never confessed their feelings to the people they love.

If Andrew merely had sexual feelings for Ashley, he can just keep dating and having sex with other women that look like her and move on. Even though Ashley doesn't like it and resents him for that, at least they still have a relationship, which is better than none at all for Andrew. It is much more difficult for Andrew when he is romantically in love with her, and he actively has to hide it away from her in hopes she won't reject him. He tried to make the best of dating Julia to try to get rid of his romantic and sexual feelings for Ashley, but even that is not enough. As seen in the Voicemails video, he needs to imagine Julia's Ashley to say romantic declarations of love to her, but that makes him sad.

On a more meta level, and one a lot of fans forget, is that TCOAAL is a psychological horror game. It is so much more revolting and well, horrifying that Andrew has romantic feelings for Ashley. My revulsion at Andrew was so strong that I stayed away from the game for months, planning to wait until Episode 3 because I want Julia to show up so I can root for her because neither sibling was sympathetic enough for me. If it was just Andrew being very sexually touchy with Ashley, I and many others would have thought he is sexually abusive or he only sees Ashley as a sex doll, and thus find it easier to root for Ashley and hope she leaves him or retaliates against him. But it is way more fascinating and accurate to a codependency that there is no clear abuser-and-victim or good guy and bad guy dynamic, that the siblings are mutually horrible to each other, but also mutually in love and lust for each other. Nemlei makes their romance an integral part of the game's horror, which is a masterful display of her skill as a creator to blend two seemingly opposite feelings into one work of art.

#the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #ashley graves #andrew graves #coffincest #gravecest #tcoaal analysis #tcoaal meta #rambler answers #tw suicide

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thankskenpenders · 1 year ago

Text

And now for something new

So, here's something I was never planning on doing, but I just couldn't shake the idea... Thanks Ken Penders is gaining a sister blog featuring an entirely different comic franchise!

Introducing... Thanks Steve Ditko, a blog where I read the Earth-616 Spider-Man comics, starting all the way back in the '60s! It's gonna be much more casual and less thorough than how I run things here on TKP, though, which I'll explain in a sec.

If seeing me post weird bits from old Spider-Man comics sounds fun and you need no further info, then just head right on over to Thanks Steve Ditko. But for longtime TKP readers, I know you probably have questions...

Number one: Why?

Spider-Man's always been my favorite superhero, and with the Spider-Verse movies kicking ass and my excitement building for the new Insomniac game, I've been in a Spidey mood. Inevitably, a thought occurred to me: Maybe I should actually read the comics that everything else is built off of and see the wildly varying contributions of all the original creators, rather than filtering them through big budget adaptations. If I can power through One Piece and all these other manga with hundreds of chapters, it can't be that hard... right?

And, well, after a few issues I quickly realized that my options were to either clog up my other accounts with random Spider-Man panels for years, or to just make a side blog. And so the side blog was born.

Two: Will this blog replace Thanks Ken Penders?

NO!!!!!!!!!

Okay but prove it

To allow the two to exist side-by-side, Thanks Steve Ditko will have a different format than what Thanks Ken Penders developed. Rather than an in-depth guided tour that critically analyzes every story beat of every issue, TSD will just be a place for amusing panels and brief thoughts as I casually read the comics at my own pace.

If you've seen me make a few tweets about reading Spider-Man recently, I'm basically just moving that to a dedicated Tumblr. It's a place for me to dump these things so that it doesn't fill up my media tab on Twitter for the next decade. (You know, assuming Twitter is still around in a decade.) There will be many issues where I only post two panels that I thought were funny. There will be issues where I don't have anything to say at all. Maybe I'll reach a run that I just cannot get into, and I start skipping around more. Who knows!

This may sound similar to what I thought this blog would be before it blew up. Aside from the simple fact that there's already mountains of Spider-Man commentary out there and therefore less of a void for me to fill, one of the main steps I'll be taking to avoid repeating the past is not enabling an ask box on TSD. I do not need people to ask me to go into ten times more detail on everything. I do not need to write seven essay-length responses to questions about Spider-Man minutiae every day. I do not need a place for people to chide me for not covering certain scenes, issues, or ancillary series.

It also won't have any kind of update schedule. I'm trying to keep it very casual. I'm reading these comics at my own pace, and if I feel like sharing a moment or commenting on something while doing so? It goes there. That's it.

(On the subject of format changes, I'm also listing the issue, writer, and penciller in the body of every post. This is a thing I wish I'd done on TKP so that people didn't misattribute every weird Archie Sonic panel I post to Penders.)

Three: So when will TKP come back from hiatus? You said it'd come back after you finished SLARPG!

I don't know! Sorry. I have a couple things on the backburner right now for TKP, but I'm not sure when I'll get back to proper updates where I read more comics.

I wanted to bring TKP back this year, and that's still possible. The main hurdle is that I want to reread my own archive (again) as a refresher, which is, uh. A lot of posts. I've developed a high standard for myself on here, and I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job right if I forgot half the ongoing subplots and character arcs and didn't bring them up in my analysis. Especially when I'm discussing the work of an author as obsessed with continuity as Ian Flynn. Unfortunately, the nature of this blog means that every time I go on another long hiatus for Life Reasons I have even more comic continuity to catch up on than last time.

(This is a big part of why I'm making Thanks Steve Ditko an extremely casual blog instead of promising to become a Lore Expert on 60+ years of Marvel.)

Mostly I've just been very burnt out this year after having finally finished a video game that took almost eight years to make. I haven't really had the energy for any creative projects, including TKP. But I feel a little bit of a spark here with Spider-Man, so I'm chasing that feeling to try to get back into the swing of blogging about comics - no pun intended.

So, basically, bear with me on this as I start this low-energy side project. But hopefully folks will enjoy Thanks Steve Ditko as its own thing, too.

Look forward to goofy shit like this

#tkp post

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musicalmoritz · 3 months ago

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Can you analyze Aoikane? Like does aoi really like Akane? Is Akane a good person to her? Doesn’t he just treat her like everyone else? Even after the severance arc?

I’m glad you asked this! I’ve written a lot about Aoi and Akane as separate characters but I haven’t really gotten to go in depth explaining their relationship. This won’t cover everything but I’ll try to address all your questions. Just a heads up, I incorporated a mix of canon evidence and personal interpretation here. I tried to address each time I was purely stating my perspective but be aware that this is very opinionated

So to answer your first question, “Does Aoi really like Akane?” the answer is no…Aoi LOVES Akane. Aoi is love with Akane to an embarrassing degree, dare I say more embarrassing than the time Mitsuba said “yes sir” to Kou

On a more serious note, Aoi loving Akane is a core part of their development. If Aoi didn’t love Akane, Akane never would have fallen in love with Aoi

This right here is the key moment, the moment when Akane realizes what he means to Aoi. He offhandedly tells her he hates her, and it makes her cry. At that age, nothing made Aoi cry, not even bullies. But she felt so strongly about Akane that the mere thought of him hating her was enough to bring her to tears

Akane’s character arc centers largely around coming to understand, empathize with, and help the people around him, so when he sees someone who needs him he goes all in offering his help. When he saw that Aoi loved him, that she would cry if he hated her, all he wanted to do was make her happy and make her feel loved. This is what he dedicated his life to, judging by everything we know about his relationship with Aoi after this event

Another way we know Aoi loves Akane is because she tells us this herself! She asks Hanako to talk about love and then explains her past with Akane. Before this, when Aoi got left behind leaving Hakubo’s boundary, she confessed to the audience that she loves Akane (“I never got to tell him I like him”). That line has clear romantic connotations, especially for a series that places so much emphasis on confession scenes. But on the train, we learn why Aoi loves Akane

To Aoi, Akane is everything she is not. He is naturally liked by people, hard-working, and kind. Aoi seems to view Akane as the epitome of a good person, and herself as the opposite. Think of it as a sun/moon dynamic, we see this with many ships in the series. Hanako seems to think similarly about Nene, considering himself a murderer and then viewing Nene as this ball of sweetness. When asked what he likes about her, he simply says “Everything.” Even Aoi was shocked lol (but this ain’t about them)

It confuses me that a lot of fans ask why Aoi likes Akane when she’s outright stated it herself. It could be that some of them haven’t finished the manga (not saying that’s you btw that wasn’t one of your questions), and hey there’s no shame in that. I just wish they would either admit they haven’t read it or look up the chapters they need to read because their arguments are lacking some pretty key information😭 Guys, step one of analyzing is to READ. But I digress

I think another explanation would be that fans don’t understand Aoi’s character, they still subconsciously view her as Nene’s popular best friend. They may not think they do, because they think the extent of her facade is pretending to be perfect. They don’t understand how she looks down on people, how she only thought about herself when Nene and Akane started acting different, and how she gets emotionally dependent on the people closest to her. There’s a reason for that too, many fans don’t like that side of Aoi. They see her express an unhealthy attachment style and decide the problem is AoiAoi rather than Aoi as a character, so they completely erase her flawed management of relationships when they write her

Aoi displays an avoidant attachment style, she pushes away the people she wants to be close with. She also arguably shows signs of BPD, and though I won’t get into that today, one of the defining symptoms is intense and unstable relationships. The sad truth is that people really hate people with avoidant attachment styles, and they really hate people with BPD (and any Cluster B personality disorder in general), so when they see Aoi expressing these traits they erase them rather than admitting they don’t like that side of her. Which is sad because you rarely see people doing that with male characters. Teru and Hanako are loved for the aspects of their personalities that are unlikable to the fanbase, whereas Aoi’s toxicity is ignored because it doesn’t fit the image fans have of her. Aoi is misunderstood by the fandom the same way she’s misunderstood by the characters in the manga

One last note on this, if you dislike Aoi just say that (again this is aimed at the general fandom, not you specifically). Don’t erase her obvious signs of mental illness, that representation is important to a lot of fans. When I wrote my TikTok essay on Aoi having BPD, I had people with BPD in the comments telling me how much they related to her. On other posts about Aoi, I’ve had people tell me how much it means to them to see a character realistically portray an avoidant attachment style. Mental illness is rarely portrayed correctly in media, and it is highly offensive to those who have it irl to erase those traits in a character just because they don’t fit your cookie-cutter image of them. And yes, I know Aoi doesn’t canonically have BPD but slandering her for traits that strongly relate to BPD is also weird (this is the opinionated part I warned you guys about lol, but yk a psych student is gonna have to lecture you on ableism)

Aoi’s feelings for Akane have also been teased since the beginning of the manga, through jealousy. She claims not to like him back, but she completely shuts down whenever he shows interest in someone else (or when someone else shows interest in him). Again, this is not a healthy response by any means but I personally think it’s an interesting character flaw, you are welcome to think otherwise🤷🏼‍♀️

She actively encourages his confessions with her point system, if she didn’t enjoy his confessions she would have turned him down from the get go. This connects back to the avoidant attachment style thing, Aoi wants Akane’s attention but she maintains distance for fear of letting him in. She keeps walls up to protect herself, because while Akane is the sun she basks in, she doesn’t really believe he likes her

This is because Akane puts her on a pedestal just like the rest of the school does. Some fans overlook this because they’re focused on post-development AoiAoi but at one point Akane made Aoi feel very isolated. It must have hurt extra since he’s her childhood friend. She thought Akane was only in love with the perfect version of her, which I don’t believe to be true. Akane loved Aoi, flaws and all, and that’s why he saw her as perfect. Most of the information we learn about Aoi is given to us through Akane, so it wouldn’t add up for him to not know her real personality. During their fight scene, he lists all her worst qualities and proceeds to kiss her hand and tell her he loves her

My conclusion is that Akane’s love for Aoi was so intense, he saw her through a rose colored glass. He knew the real her, but he loved her so much that her flaws didn’t bother him. He only focused on the good parts, and thus ended up putting her on a pedestal. He didn’t realize his behavior was hurting her up until the truth came out in chapter 69, and to answer that one part of your question, yes his behavior did change after that

He encourages Aoi to talk about herself, offering to do all of her favorite hobbies with her. He gives her free reign and support here, letting her talk and then offering solutions to her worries. He reassures her that she can fix things with Nene, which is like!! A major step in the right direction!! Akane is usually very possessive of Aoi, even when it comes to her friendships, but here he is encouraging healthy communication between her and Nene. He doesn’t deny her bad actions, but he gives her room to resolve them

After that, we see him start to treat her normally. He acts like himself around her, the same version of him we see around Teru and Nene. None of that lovestruck, over exaggerated worship we’re used to seeing him show towards Aoi. Even during the Severance, he took time to work with Nene and Teru rather than obsessively focusing on Aoi. He gave Teru motivation when he felt like quitting, even felt comfortable using their mutual love for a Aoi to fuel their rivalry. He formed an alliance with Nene even though he initially felt bitter towards her for Aoi’s disappearance. He learned to look past his own feelings enough to be there for his friends, likely because Aoi taught him to remove those rose-colored glasses. He saw that only focusing on what he wants (only focusing on Aoi) was hurting the people around him, including Aoi herself. Post chapter 69, Akane becomes much more down to earth. He still loves Aoi deeply and puts her first, but he treats her like a normal human being. This allows him to treat other people normally too

A lot of people use this chapter as evidence that Akane hasn’t changed but guys, he’s allowed to be jealous over the girl he loves. He panics here, but he doesn’t try to get violent with Teru the way we used to see him do when guys would express interest in Aoi. He doesn’t look possessive or angry here at all, just sad. He’s genuinely devastated that he’s in a world where he can’t be with the girl he loves. This is bad news for both him and Aoi, judging by the sad look she gives him as she leaves and the events of last chapter, it’s clear that this Aoi is still in love with Akane. Our Akane knows how dependent Aoi is on him, he knows that he’s the reason she’s started taking steps towards healing. Without him, all of her development gets erased, and there’s the simpler sad fact that she can’t be with the man she loves. Akane wants happiness for both of them, there’s nothing wrong with that

Even when he confesses to her, it looks so much more genuine than the old scenes of his confessions. It gets a full page, they’re both blushing and their eyes are full of light. His words are so genuine too, he doesn’t wax on about how perfect and delicate she is, all he does is promise to love her forever. For someone with such severe abandonment issues like Aoi has, those words are all she’s ever wanted to hear. Her father left when she was young, then the two people closest to her started to pull away from her (not in this universe but still). She’s terrified that people will hate her, that everyone will leave her if she reveals her true self. And here Akane is, promising to love her and only her for as long as they both shall live (and beyond that)

So, yes, I truly do believe Akane’s behavior towards Aoi has changed. And keep in mind, the manga isn’t over yet, they will have more development. We just learned Aoi’s backstory with her father leaving and her mommy issues, there’s still so much we don’t know about the characters. They still have a long way to go, so if they haven’t grown as much as you’d like then give them some time!! But they have made a lot of progress already, and I wish more fans recognized that

As for the question of whether or not he’s a good person to her, that’s very subjective!! Some fans don’t like any level of toxicity in their ships, so chapter 69 was enough for them to write off AoiAoi entirely. That’s perfectly fine, no one should feel forced to like a ship that makes them uncomfortable. Some love toxic ships, some only love toxic ships if they have development, and others love ships with extreme toxicity (I finished Interview with the Vampire season 1 today so that is where I’m at right now lol)

Let me ask you a few questions though. Is Kou a good person to Mitsuba, for mimicking the actions of his abuser and force-feeding him?? Is Hanako a good person to Nene for attempting to trap her in a fake world and kill her best friend? Is Hakubo a good person to Sumire for eating her alive? Is Natsuhiko a good person to Sakura for letting them destroy the world? Are any of these characters good people to each other???

All of those situations have nuance, and so does AoiAoi. Yes, Akane choked Aoi, but only because she was about to kill herself. She was in a shinigami’s boundary, talking about wanting to “go somewhere far away” and never return. If he hadn’t done something, she never would have returned from the far shore. That doesn’t excuse his actions, but it provides some perspective. Akane wouldn’t choke Aoi under normal circumstances, just like Kou wouldn’t force-feed Mitsuba under normal circumstances. However, both of them would go to those extremes if it meant protecting the ones they love. I personally believe it’s toxic, but some fans insist it’s completely justified because they were doing it for the greater good. Again, it all comes down to perspective

Their dynamic also largely relies on the yandere!Akane gag, which is very hit or miss for some people. Although it’s for comedic purposes, those scenes did happen in canon and they happen a lot. They can be very distracting and cause fans to feel confused once they’re introduced to the deeper side of AoiAoi, which is understandable. Part of peoples’ interpretation on AoiAoi’s level of toxicity comes down to how serious they take the yandere jokes, and how much they like yandere characters. If you hate yandere characters but don’t take the gag too seriously, you’ll be able to overlook it. However, if you hate yandere characters AND you take the gag seriously…AoiAoi might be a difficult ship to accept

Otherwise, Akane does look out for Aoi a lot. He beats up guys who harass her, he asks her how her talk with Nene went, he checks on her injured hand, he will stop at nothing to save her when she’s in danger and, well…the list goes on. There’s no denying Akane cares about Aoi, though some fans may argue he cares about her to a toxic extent. I find that attitude a little hypocritical when they like every other toxic canon ship, but every ship has different appeals so I get it. I’m very biased tho so every argument I see against AoiAoi is just words, words, words

Keep in mind that the TBHK characters and their relationships are all meant to be flawed. This is an imperfect cast of characters who all want to be loved, who have their own goals and try desperately to save each other even though they’re doomed to fail. I wouldn’t call every character morally gray, but they’re realistically flawed. Akane and Aoi want to be together, but they have a lot of individual issues to work through first. They’re undoubtedly better together though, seeing as the progress they make is because of each other (I gave Akane credit for Aoi’s development earlier but it goes both ways!!). If they were separated, we wouldn’t see them grow as much as they have. That doesn’t have to be romantic ofc but I do believe that Aoi and Akane make each other better, they just have to go through the process of making each other worse first in order to get there

I am a person who LOVES flawed characters and relationships. If the ship doesn’t have a splash of codependency, I don’t want it. I incorporate sadomasochism into almost every fic I write. My view of AoiAoi is going to be different from that of someone that isn’t interested in flawed characters/ships (yes, you’re allowed to prefer characters that are “morally pure”). If you’re looking for something that’s pure fluff then AoiAoi most likely isn’t for you, very few TBHK ships are unless you’re heavily fanonizing them. That’s simply the nature of this manga, there’s a reason we’ve seen every canon couple hit each other at some point. It’s not as bad as some fans suggest, but it’s still messy. I want to reiterate that this isn’t aimed at you specifically but I feel it’s something the fandom as a whole needs to hear. Of course, there are toxic ship enjoyers who may not find AoiAoi interesting, but every complaint I’ve heard about them so far has been about their toxicity so that’s what I’m addressing. I personally find it to be tame compared to the other ships but not everyone is going to interpret it the same way

Thank you very much for this ask, I got a little carried away with the yapping lol. I’m a bit worried I’m gonna get hate for this one since it’s kinda controversial and I got very opinionated at times…please know that I didn’t mean to offend anyone or invalidate any other opinions. If you feel that I did that then feel free to block me. I hope everyone reading this has a nice day <3

#aoiaoi #aoikane #analysis #aoi akane #akane aoi #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #ask #ask me anything #peep the hamlet reference #tw: sui mention

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bl-danmei-planet · 9 months ago

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Jinx: Jaekyung's POV

I'd like to analyze something that Jinx hasn't had (much) in the story yet: Jaekyung's POV.

The story is told from Dan's perspective, so naturally the reader has more sympathy towards Dan. Clearly Dan is the one who suffers in the story. Jaekyung's impulsive nature, anger, and high sex drive are something that are still a bit mystery.

Many readers are waiting for the explanation for his toxic behavior. Many readers are looking for him to "turn to a green flag". Readers love "tame the beast" type of story in romance. Mingwa has said this to be a classic story, so it will be possible it takes this route. But so far there is not character development with 50+ chapters in the story.

In Mingwa's earlier work BJ Alex the toxic top Jiwon also goes through flasbacks that explain his shitty behavior and through separation arch he realizes his feelings. At the end of the story he is a changed man. Some readers speculate that Jinx will take the same route because there are some similarities with the stories. However I'm doubtful of that.

Will there be a tragic backstory? In the last chapters it was revealed that his opponent Junmin has met him before and said to him:

This put Jaekyung's under a lot of stress. I believe this exhange clearly shows that Jaekyung's has had a troubled childhood. To me it's clear that his avoidance of emotion and cold nature is a result of some kind of trauma.

Will there be a regret arch or separation arch? I feel that now (ch. 51) we are going through some kind of introspection. Jaekyung's processing the fact that Dan might have betrayed him. In my interpretation it is miracle to Jaekyung why Dan hasn't left him before and has tried avoiding that by making him financially dependent on him. Their very first encounter starts as a transaction. Jaekyung's past lovers have been paid to have sex with him (as far as we know). He clearly has issues with intimacy. I feel that it is a miracle to Jaekyung that Dan has stayed with him. Jaekyung has broken his boundaries and played with him however he wants and Dan has submitted to him. I think one part of Jaekyung expects Dan to betray him at one point. Him ignoring Dan's feelings and doing what he wants separates himself from human connection. It might be one type of self harm to treat people shitty and be seemingly okay that they don't like you.

I believe Jaekyung's backstory will be tied to how he feels like he has to be the dominant one, the winner, the Emperor. I wish the backstory would give Jaekyung some character depth because usually very dominant and independent people have gone through something abusive and they have been forced to be in a submissive role. I talked previously how this work has BDSM undertones and how Jae's dominance plays a big part of his character. I would say he already has character depth because we have already seen him under a lot of stress and him contemplating why he is so obsessed with Dan.

Jaekyung is hard to read, he has a poker face. He simply does not show much emotion except for anger and lust. He is an emotionally detached man. This is what I find interesting about Jinx and Jae's character. How does such a cold character show love? Or even realize he's in love? I don't think we're ever going to see him as a super loving character because he has repressed so much of himself. He shows his emotions thorugh action. And with Dan the action so far in the story is possessiveness.

So many of the so called Jinx fans just straight up hate Jaekyung. I'm pretty sure everyone's minds will turn once we get his backstory. Jinx is a slowburn and people just don't seem to be patient enough for it and show their frustration in the fandom. I'm dissapointed in this because I really like Jaekyung's character. I like cold characters that are a bit of a mystery. Jaekyung portrays himself as the dominant one, but that is only the part of himself he shows to other people (and the reader). I feel that many readers would enjoy the story more if the could sympathize more with Jaekyung. But some people need to be reminded that this story is not for everyone and Jaekyung's not the typical perfect loving top many readers would like to have for themselves.

#mingwa #boy's love #yaoi #jinx #jinx manhwa

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throwawayasoiafaccount · 3 months ago

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Rhaegar did not love Lyanna, rather it was a seduction to have his prophecy, just as he did not love Elia, that is obvious, it is implied between the lines that he wanted a third child, what they justify to say that he loved her are trivial things.

The story of Bael the bard, for example, is used as an example, but it doesn't say that Bael loved the winter rose, it only says that she loved him.

This quote I saw says the opposite of Rhaegar loving Lyanna someone had a “rhaegar was a romantic hero” shirt. parris agreed then george said there was something romantic to rhaegar. whether a hero or not, depends on the perspective. “today's hero may be tomorrow' villain,” pointing out how time can change reputation.—— asshai interview source of the quote: elio garcia, a writer of twoiaf who was present at the barcelona interview

the opinions about rhaegar are provided by people who were in love with rhaegar joncon cercei or like barristan or jaime who feel guilty and also barristan says that nobody has really met rhaegar but they are based on ned's opinion when ned doesn't speak ill of the dead or badly of people i don't think lyanna told him anything about rhaegar what he did to her if he found her very serious

I think he manipulated her and locked her in his tower without medical help because he didn't do things right because he didn't come to an agreement with his family but he didn't make her his mistress and left her with three guards while he went to fight for his father who killed Brandon and his father and still condemned a child to be a bastard knowing the prejudices of Westeros so it's not a love story

it’s obvious that you have confirmation bias and do not care to engage in a meaningful discussion. it seems that you’d rather play into ridiculous headcanons that border on fanon, but i don’t mind humoring you :)

you claim that it is implied that rhaegar didn’t love lyanna and that he only seduced her for prophecy, and yet the reality is that this is only a headcanon with very little textual basis. the idea comes from one of daenerys HotU visions, which can be interpreted in numerous ways. the idea also sorta comes from a Jon Con chapter when he remembers that the maesters told rhaegar that elia would have no more children. that is all the textual basis that this headcanon has. that is it. there’s no mention of lyanna in any of these scenes. if george wanted to connect the idea that rhaegar only wanted lyanna for a prophecy, he’d find a way to bring it up in a much clearer way. honestly… treating these two scenes like the gospel is dumb as hell, and if i analyzed the text this way i could confirm any crackpot theory i wanted to.

on the other hand, rhaegar and lyanna being a love story has actually already played out in the show (though i hate the show). lyanna and rhaegar also have official artwork where they’re together, and if i need to read between the lines instead of taking POV characters thoughts about rhaegar and lyanna being a love story for foreshadowing, then all i need to do is go to danys chapter as she’s marrying hizdahr as she wishes (putting herself in lyanna’s shoes) that daario would carry her off like rhaegar did with lyanna. that is actual foreshadowing. your headcanon meets the bare minimum requirements of a headcanon, and borders on a fanon take

you also say that bael the bards love story with the winter rose isn’t supposed to be romantic, so i think you actually struggle to read between the lines. please remember that it is ygritte who tells jon snow that bael stole the winter rose. stole. in free folk culture, men stealing women is marriage, and it means the man wants the woman because he chose her. the idea is that a woman must fight back if she doesn’t want to be stolen, and i’d like to remind you that you are the one who said that the winter rose loved bael… so what does that tell you about lyanna’s opinion on rhaegar? also, ygritte actually parallels herself with the winter rose (with some sexual innuendo), which also connects her with lyanna, meaning jon’s playing both bael and rhaegar, and we know for certain that jon did love ygritte. another bael the bard type story that plays out is when jon sends mance to steal arya back. mance calls himself abel and we know that arya was actually jeyne, so i think it’s clear that mance and jeyne are acting as jon and aryas stand ins, which tells me that i should take jon and aryas feelings into account as they are the ones that are actually paralleling the bael (rhaegar) and the winter rose (lyanna). and we know for certain that jon adores arya and that arya wants to go to jon, so i think it’s very well supported that rhaegar and lyanna loved each other. can you tell that i’m reading between the lines? i think i’m doing a great job at it.

you claim that our sources on rhaegar are not reliable, or that bael the bards story isn’t a love story, all while providing a quote (though i do not know where you got it from, and frankly i do not trust you) where george supposedly says that there was something romantic to rhaegar… idk what to tell you at this point. also, the stuff george supposedly says about rhaegar being a hero or not or “todays hero may be tomorrows villain” is literally stated to be about rhaegar’s huge change in reputation. it’s not confirming anything about rhaegar and lyanna. truthfully, it’s only hinting that rhaegar was a romantic. tbh, it seems like geroge considers rhaegar a hero based on the way he worded his thoughts, but that’s just my interpretation of that supposed quote.

your last passage is complete fanon and totally inconsistent with your own logic. if rhaegar supposedly got with her for his prophecy to have a third child, then not having medical help is dumb af. what if the baby died? the reality is that all we know about the tower of joy comes from an unreliable dream ned has. the dream doesn’t depict what actually happened. tbh i don’t even want to cover anything else you’re saying because it’s just not supported by the text.

i don’t think you realize how hypocritical you are.

#there’s more textual support that rhaegar and lyanna married than there is for your headcanons #anon ask #anon you should just block me to better curate ur tumblr experience #i find myself much happier after blocking someone i disagree with #tired so this is messy as hell #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #pro rhaelya #anti elia stans

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toxicanonymity · 1 year ago

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raider analysis

Warnings: angst, references to violence, captivity, references to past assault/abuse, warnings from the related posts this is analyzing.

A/N: this is about the hypothetical from today, plus some about the 🐶 (goes into Hunger). Keep in mind I share these because some people enjoy it, not because i want you to read it like AP Lit, lol. 🫣

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Ok, the kinda tearjerking exchange (not my favorite kind of jerking, but it happened, sorry) starts off

“‘Member what I said after ya ran?” You nod. “that you only want me if I'm good?” A tear runs down your cheek.

I have to admit I'm sad for both of you in this moment. You especially, sweet pea. But also, Joel regrets how he treated you in the aftermath of your escape, and he can't undo it. He's mostly thought about the physical part of it (glimpse of this in the yoga drabble). Now hearing you paraphrase his words, he's faced with the fact that it's even worse than he's been beating himself up over (deservedly, tbf).

As far as you running away, the main thing that reassured Joel was how you said it wasn't about him, it was the other guys, to which he said you gotta talk to him when something's bothering you. So in his eyes that was his main point. But before he calmed down enough to express that, he was angry and it made a real impression on you. Your main takeaway was that his interest in you (and your safety) was conditional. You don't think about it a lot these days, and in the big picture it's outweighed by his extreme possessiveness, but it's a thread of insecurity and the first thing that comes to mind when he asks if you remember what he said.

For Joel, there's a whole other conversation happening here (with himself) under the surface.

In this convo when Joel says “that was real bad,” it all was, including what he did in response. When he asks “we’re past that, right?” he means all of it. He wishes that day would just go away. It's also kind of an empty hope related to what he's done to you. He doesn't think he deserves forgiveness or love, but at this point he also doesn't want you to live in fear of him or only stay for that reason.

You answer as if he just wants to know you wont run away again, and that's still nice to hear. He latches onto that answer as a momentary "out" from feeling the weight of what he's done, reminding himself what's supposed to really matter to him–that you're "his"--like your answer assumed he was thinking.

—--

Also, a word about the dog. Not everything with the dog is profound. I like doggos and think they should have one. But, the initial interaction/freeing him from the collar is meaningful if you consider who else has been chained in this story (but not lately). And there's more parallels you can draw if you want to, but I also support just enjoying the little guy.

In the same chapter, it's the first time we see Joel take you out with him as a capable person (armed). Then he even lets you go into the forest alone. The reason he ultimately goes in after you is because he's worried about you. In general, Joel wants to keep you for his own sake but is also scared of what could happen to you on your own (he's almost seen it). You're legitimately worried about the dog’s well-being and think he needs you, but you also just want him around.

Joel despises the addict and the way he treated his own dog. Joel hates himself, too. His thoughts coming out of the forest reveal he’s coming for the junkie as a stand-in and what he really wants is to hurt everyone who ever hurt you. He knows he's one of those people. I'm not saying he wants to hurt himself but some of the aggression he takes out on other men (when a simple bullet would suffice) is from his own self hatred. Normally these men have something in common with him.

Joel initially rejects the dog, not wanting another someone to take care of distracting him from protecting you. But later the dog demonstrates he's more than meets the eye and has a lot to offer and for good reason Joel seems to come around, even if he won't say it. Despite that progress, in the hypothetical from today we still want more for the dog. The dog deserves more. We still want more for sweet pea who is emotionally starving and has been subjected to Joel's coldness in her previous attempts to get closer to him. She deserves more. Like maybe a kiss at least (when she's awake). In night air we see why Joel struggles with that, but he keeps making progress. At least he's kissing your other lips.

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Thank you for reading and being invested <3. Joel's a bad guy but tbh I identify with and pour myself into both these characters in different ways.

I'm tired but this isn't exhaustive 😅 your thoughts and interpretation are valid, too.

#raider!analysis

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jillsandwhichs · 1 month ago

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Aeon - Oneshots/AU's Collection , Chap 4 , Once in a blue moon

Masterlist

Pairing: Leon Kennedy & Ada Wong

Summary: Leon and Ada end up being at the same event. Them being in the same vicinity, of course, leads to something much more

Status of their relationship in this one shot: Complicated

WC: 3.6k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Making out, Dirty talk, Leon is a sub whereas Ada is a dom, Oral (Ada receives), Hookup, Semi public sex, P in V, Unprotected sex, Hair pulling & Clit rubbing

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Art Creds: JanetYuezi17

Leon entered the large room with a deep sigh. He doesn't want to be here. What's the point? To earn some good agent points from President Graham? He doesn't care what he thinks of him, he simply works for him. Leon doesn't want to be in a totally crowded place. He can hardly see what's in front of him with all of the people in the way, dancing, eating or conversing with others.

He has to do this though and he knows that.

Convoying further into the elegant estate, Leon was offered a glass of champagne. "Thanks." He gave a nod to the waiter. They even have fancy waters. The stereotypical type with the rag over their arm and the platter of drinks. Leon scoffed and sipped the light tint of yellow drink. It was good, he can't lie. Leon is only here to meet with some other agents and higher ups. Hopefully they're not the talkative types. He just wants to say hi and get out of here.

Leon is wearing a typical suit. He didn't even pick it out, it was decided by Graham (What he'd wear). Leon hates dressing up for formal events such as this. He doesn't want to look like a total fool. Then again, he's so out of place at parties like these, he probably looks silly the moment he walks through the front door. Leon sighed to himself, shooting the rest of the champagne down his gullet and setting the clear glass onto the bar beside where he was standing.

The music is not Leon's forte either. It's very classical; Leon likes metal and rock. He really can't vibe with a song unless it resonates with him and this blues shit, no, it does not make the cut. It's bad. Leon took a seat on the barstool and looked around the area. He scanned it, analyzed it. Yeah, there's a load of people here, none of which Leon knows or has even been aquatinted with. Leon would much rather be at home right now.

Glaring down at his watch, he checked the time. It's almost six, he wants to be gone by seven. Hopefully he is able to meet at least one person before he has to go or he can paint this 'mission' as failed. He stood up and grunted, turning around and looking at his glass. "Not my problem." He whispered beneath his breath. He left the glass there as he began to amble through the crowd, hoping to find someone with a name tag as him.

That is how he'll know if someone is in the same department as him-color coded name tags. It's rather childish but it gets the job done.

Traversing through the crowd, Leon didn't see any name tags that matched his. Everyone smells of strong perfume/cologne and alcohol. He isn't surprised. At this type of events, people take it as free range to get absolutely hammered.

As he continued to travel to the side, he suddenly heard someone call his name. "Leon! Leon, over here!" He turned around and sighed deeply. Patrick. Fucking Patrick. Whatever, it's better than no one. Leon walked over to him and gave him a fake smile. "Hey Pat." "What's up Leon? I didn't even think I'd see you here tonight." "I wish I wasn't here, but it is required." Leon stated to him. Patrick snickered and nodded. "You are funny."

Leon just raised his eyebrow and looked around. "What are you doing?" "Nothing much. I did just dance with a lady, so that was fun. Anywho, wanna meet some guys? This can go down on your record." Leon nodded, "Yeah, please. Bring me to them." Finally, Leon will be able to leave sooner than he thought he would. Patrick smiled and patted Leon on the upper arm. "I knew you'd want to. Follow me."

He began to be led by Patrick to the other side of the room. There were three men standing around a table. They had drinks and a board of food. "So these are the higher ups then?" "Yes, they are. Be cool!" Patrick said in a loud whisper. Leon scoffed. Who is Patrick to tell him how to act? He isn't an idiot. Patrick paused in front of the table, Leon did too. "Gentlemen, this is the Leon S Kennedy."

Leon waved and nodded. "Hello gentlemen." He said in a friendly manner. The men all stood up with a smile. "Good evening, Mr. Kennedy," One of the men spoke up, "I am Mr. Carter Hawkins. This is Mr. Collins Richards and Mr. Pete Fisher." Leon shook all of their hands and nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you all." It really isn't. Leon hates this all facade. He feels like a prick when doing this stuff because he doesn't actually care.

In the business world, you are for yourself and for yourself only. As for Leon, he's for the people. These men though? They're in it for the money and fame. There's always a dark side to each organization and these men are a part of it. It's sad. Working for the President, Leon didn't realize how shitty it would turn out to be. He supposes that's the price he has to pay. He didn't choose to work willingly under Graham, he was forced. He has to deal.

It's all just superficial. Leon thought that his line of work would be for honesty and truth, but of course it isn't.

As they were talking amongst themselves, Leon couldn't help but feel as if there were a pair of eyes on him. He gandered around the room, but nothing. It made him feel nervous. Who could be here eyeing him down. Leon leaned in closer to Patrick and murmured something to him. "Have you seen anyone that seems suspicious by chance?" "No." Patrick whispered back and looked around. "Why?" "Doesn't matter." Then Leon went back to speaking with Mr. Richards.

Within just a few minutes, Leon decided to turn around and that's when he saw her. It was Ada. He knew something was up. He recognized her immediately. It's only been a few months since he last saw her in Spain. After that, they hadn't spoken at all. Leon even figured he'd never see her again. He was wrong. He also often times has a feeling he'll see her every time he's out on a mission. He can't deny the fact he does look for her on those days.

Ada glanced at Leon and nudged her head before she then entered through a door.

"Gentlemen, excuse me, I have some business to attend." Leon nodded. The men said their goodbyes and Leon made way to said room. Did she even notice him? Was she nudging to someone else? He doesn't care. What in God's name is Ada Wong doing here?

Once Leon got closer to the door, his hands began to shake. He's anxious. Gaining the courage to just open the damn door, he did. When he entered, he saw Ada right before him. Yeah, that's her. He could recognize her anywhere. She's been on his mind ever since the incident in Spain so of course she just had to show up here of all places.

"Leon." Ada said softly. "I didn't think you'd be here." "I'm sure." Leon didn't buy that one bit. She chuckled and walked over to him. "Why are you here, Ada?" "Business, you know I don't work and tell." Those are the exact words she used on him back in Spain. Leon scoffed. "This is where I work, you can't just show up and-" "Leon, stop talking. I'm not here to do anything bad, I am simply here to meet someone." "Who?" "It doesn't matter."

So many thoughts are racing through his head. In a way, it's so upsetting to see her. He doesn't want to deal with any of her antics. At the same time however, he's glad. She's been on his mind. Ada is a part of Leon that he knows he'll never fully be able to let go. Leon loves her, he's never even tried to deny that. He doubts she feels the same all things considered. He's tried to get over her, but he never can.

Ada is sly and sleuth. She's always reminded Leon of a black cat on the prowl. She's seductive too, that's clear. Ever since that dreadful night back in Raccoon City, Ada has had him wrapped around her little finger. She uses him at her own discretion-at least that's what Leon is told. He knows Ada better than that. There's no way she doesn't feel something for him. She has to.

Leon sighed deeply. "Ada, if you're here to cause any mischief, just tell me so I can leave." Ada rolled her eyes and placed her hands onto his chest. "Leon," she hummed, "you don't trust me one bit, do you?" Ada questioned him. Leon breathed in a sharp breath as her finger tips trailed down his body and right above his waistband. What is she up to? "How can I when all you ever do is deceive me?"

She smirked and pulled away from him. "My apologies but you do remember that you're the one who clung to me back in R.C, correct? I tried to leave you be, you kept coming back to me like a lost puppy." She isn't wrong. It's only because Leon wanted answers and felt it was safer to stick beside someone. It's not like he knew who Ada was or what she was doing. Leon stepped back and hit his back on the door. "Just do whatever you plan to do." Was all he said before he went to leave the room.

Before he could, Ada grasped his wrist and shook her head. "Leaving so soon?" "What do you want?" Leon asked in a low voice. He's actually curious at this point. What's her deal? Ada's eyes went really soft as she looked up at him. That's exactly what captures him. That's why he kissed her back in Raccoon City, that's why he saved her back in Spain... It's the way she gets. She's manipulative and Leon's aware of that-but she just weaves him in her web.

"I think you should stay with me for a little bit..." Her hands then went to his belt and he went to back away, but once again hit the door. "Do you not want me to?" Ada instantly let go. Admittedly, she's also missed Leon and she's in desperate need for him. It's not as if she enjoys hurting Leon like this-of course not-but work first, hooking up later. For now though, the roles can be reversed.

Leon suddenly grabbed her face and began kissing her. He felt Ada smile against his lips. His hands went to her waist whereas hers remained on his chest. "I've missed you." Leon admitted. He felt pathetic after saying it. "Oh Leon..." Ada whispered against his lips, kissing him passionately. She missed him too, even if she's not ready to admit it. Their kissing was powerful. It was as if the world was going to end and this was their final goodbye.

Of course, neither of them truly know when the last time they see one another will be.

Pushing her up against a table, Leon chuckled. Ada was between him and the white, sturdy table. They both could tell where this was going. Ada pulled away from the kiss and began to work on taking his belt off. "How much time do you have?" "As long as you need me for." Leon said quietly. He feels pathetic, once again. Ada truly has him pinched between her fingers. Leon doesn't even care at this point. Ada will always be Ada.

Removing his belt, Ada set it on the table before lifting herself onto the table. Leon let out a huff as he watched her do that. She's ready for him, she wants him. This just makes the experience to come a billion times more lovely. Leon pulled his dress pants all the way down along with his boxers. Adas eyes went to his member and she smiled before making eye contact with him. "Come here." She pulled on his blazer. Leon snickered and cupped her cheek firmly, kissing her once again.

Her lips were so soft against his. Leon never wants this moment to end. Kissing Ada only reminds him of when they met. God, she's perfect. Leon can't not give in to her. "Fuck I've wanted this for so long." Leon grunted. Ada tittered and nodded. "Me too." She then lifted her waist up to pull her dress up, revealing her lacy panties. Leon nearly lost his breath. What a sight to see.

"I want to taste you." Leon wasn't lying. He's fantasized about this. Ada is gorgeous, she's beautiful, he wants her badly. "Oh? You do?" Ada bit her lip and started to pull her panties down. She did it so painfully slowly, it made Leon whine out in annoyance. Once they hit her ankles, Leon pulled them off and set them to the side. They were a bit wet and that made him even harder. Now they're both naked from the waist down.

Leon grabbed Ada's legs and set them up on the table. Her knees were bent upwards, her pussy directly in front of him. Her legs being spread was insanely sexy to Leon. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her thighs. They were pale and soft, Leon couldn't stop caressing them. He started to leave kisses from he knees and down to her very inner thighs. Occasionally he'd get a glimpse of her sopping cunt and all it did was enhance his horniness.

Eventually, Leon moved his lips from her thighs to her folds. He kissed both before finally swiping his tongue through them. His tongue licked up all of her wetness. It was so much. He groaned, the taste was a delicacy. "Mmm yes." Ada moaned, her fingers gripped the end of the table she's resting on. Leon's tongue repeatedly slicked up and down through her folds. She tastes amazing. Leon can't believe this is his first time ever being with her like this and that it happened so suddenly.

Leon couldn't stop. He doesn't want to. His lips and tongue suckled on her nub. Ada's little moans and whimpers made Leon start to precum. He's down for her, down badly. He just wants to fuck her. "You taste so good." Leon whispered to her. Ada sighed softly and grasped onto his dirty blonde hair. Her slim fingers ran through it and tugged on it. "Faster." She didn't have to tell him twice. The speed of his slick tongue picked up.

Ada set her legs up onto his shoulders, enabling him to have a different angle. Leon took this opportunity and immediately gripped onto her thighs as he began to feast upon her like a mad man. Ada's legs started to shake and her insides began to twist. She knew she was close. She could tell. "I'm so close." Ada said softly to Leon. Leon chuckled deeply against her pussy before beginning to continuously swirl his tongue on her clit.

This was her undoing. Just a few more twirls of his tongue and Ada was done for. She shook slightly as she came on his face. Leon breathed in deeply as he licked her once more before pulling away. He is respectful. He's willing to give her some time to recoup herself. Ada panted and started to sit back up. Leon wiped the area near his lips and huffed out a breath.

"That was great." Ada spoke, pulling Leon back close to her. "Let's make this quick." She giggled as she spread her legs again. Leon snickered and nodded. "Where are you going after this?" "To finish business. Why?" Leon sighed deeply. "So that's it? We just have sex and you leave?" "Leon," Ada sat up and started to kiss the area on his upper chest. "Don't be upset with me." Ada then kissed his cheek. "Just fuck me." She whispered, leaning back again.

Leon scoffed. "That's exactly what I'm going to do." Leon sighed, pumping himself a few times. There is precum on his tip-Ada makes him feel ways he knows he could never feel with anyone else. Ada wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer into her. "Don't hold back. Who knows when you'll see me again." She said seductively. Leon grinned and slowly entered her, allowing her to adjust around him. He can admit, he's big.

Her hands were resting on either side of the table and her legs were encased around his midriff. "You're tight." Leon chuckled, kissing her knee before beginning to move. Ada bit her lip and nodded. She's aware. She knows she feels good. Ada is rather confident and knowing of how great she is, in bed and out. "Fuck." Leon grunted, moving back and fourth into her slowly. He was hitting so deep inside of her, he knows he's hitting her sweet spot.

Ada moaned softly and tossed her head back. "Leon..." She whimpered, holding onto his wrist which his hands were on her fit thighs. "Leon." She stated. "Hmm?" "Didn't I say don't hold back?" Ada giggled, tilting her head to gaze at him. "I was just trying to give you time to-" "Don't hold back." She interrupted him. Leon then began to thrust into her at a fast & hard rate. Ada nodded and tossed her head back once again. She isn't surprised that he is able to fuck her senselessly.

"Come here." Leon groaned out breathlessly. He pressed his lips against her roughly. Their making out was erotic and sloppy-but so meaningful. This is the last thing Leon expected out of this evening. Seeing Ada isn't too surprising but making love to her? Leon never expected that. As he pumped himself into her, he could feel how tight she was getting. That meant she was close. It's not surprising-she is still sensitive from what he ate her out.

Ada hooked her arms around his neck. She was clinging onto him like a spider monkey with a tree. Leon brought his hand down to her clit and started to gently rub it. "Yes Leon, god, just like that." Ada huffed out, kissing him again and licking his lower lip. She was begging for entry. Leon opened his mouth again and kissed her lovingly. The way his thumb rubbed over her clit was enough to get her so close to the edge. She knows she'll finish any second.

Leon swiftly raised his other hand behind her back and tugged on her black hair, pulling her neck backwards. Ada giggled as Leon kissed all along her neck and collarbone. He was sure to leave marks. He wants people to know she got fucked. "I'm so close." Ada whispered to him. Her arms were resting on his back now, primarily for support but also just because she needs him close to her. "Cum for me."

With just a few more thrusts into her, Ada was finished. She came around him. Her liquid fluids seeped onto his cock as he fucked her fast and roughly. "Mmm fuck." Leon grunted, continuing to move into her. Ada moaned and held onto him tighter. Her entire area down there felt more sensitive than ever before since she's orgasmed twice in one night plus, Leon isn't stopping.

All Ada had to do was kiss him softly and run her fingers through his hair to get Leon to finish. He pulled out of her and released his semen all over her inner thighs. He panted heavily. That was the greatest sex of his life. He was so happy it was with Ada. Ada smiled and pulled a rag out of her wallet, wiping herself off. "You are a goddess." Leon whispered to her. "Oh?" Ada didn't expect such a compliment.

"You are great at sex." Leon stated, adjusting his pants. Ada nodded and fixed her dress. Leon went to grab her panties to put them back on her but she shook her head. "Keep them." She winked before getting off of the table. "You're really just going to go?" "Hm? Yes. I said that." Ada began to amble towards to door. "You know you'll see me again one way or another, Leon." "Yeah... Hopefully." He looked down, fidgeting with his fingers.

Ada tilted her head and made an "Awe" noise. She traversed to him and pressed a gentle kiss to his jawline. "You fucked me very well... I promise, that won't be the last time..." She kissed him once more and went to the door. Before she left, she turned her head and spoke. "So long, Leon." Ada then left the room. "Bye." He murmured beneath his breath. She's probably off to manipulate someone else for money or something.

Looking down at her panties, Leon chuckled. He can't believe she just gave them to him. He stuffed them into his pocket then fixed his hair. "Fuck me." He grunted before leaving the room. He never saw Ada again for that entire night.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #ada wong #aeon #aeon fanfiction #aeon fanart #smut #smutshot #leon kennedy smut #ada wong smut #aeon smut #fanfiction #resident evil fanfiction #tumblr fyp

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aliceinclockland · 2 years ago

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Cardcaptor Magicians and their Ceremonial Clothings

Welcome to Episode one of my random Cardcaptor Blabberings (or blabblecaptor— it's a working tag title), a "series" where I talk about random Cardcaptor things without doing that much deep diving because I hate too much research.

Since I'm notorious for starting things and not being consistent to the point of not even continuing what I started, let's see how this one goes. 😆 I'm also bad at words so wish me luck.

I'd like to start this off by saying 2 things:

this all started because I saw Sakura's pointy hat and got reminded by Kaito's ceremonial robe... then got reminded of Eriol's robe right after.

this isn't a serious analyzation of their outfits, given the reason i wanted to blabber about this is their pointy hats. also I'm more of a Nadeshiko when it comes to fashion: so far from the word 💀

Lastly, take this as a silly post while I try to learn how Tumblr works. I don't want people to use this as a source (or anything similar) because at the end of the day, this is all just silly typings of someone who excels in associating the most random stuff with each other without being able to explain why.

With all of that out of the way, Let's get started!

lold what i said earlier, the moment i saw Sakura's color page in Chapter 74 my mind went straight into Kaito's robe, and when my brain went to remind me of Kaito's ceremonial robe colored page, it immediately went to Eriol, and then started to compare the three, asking myself about their similarities aside from the initial idea of this entire post, the pointy hats.

starting off with the robes, all 3 of them have their attires in the color black. idk why it's like that, but it makes the gold in their clothing shine more i guess 😆

the patterns the clothings have also are (mostly. just in case if there's a part where it's not) symmetrical, visibly seen within the designs on the torso parts (in this case, Eriol & Sakura's chest (?) part, and Yuna D. Kaito's back). I could say it's the magicians' insignia but just in case it's not I'll just say symmetrical symbols 😅

but, surely that's not the only similarities, right?

well, aside from the pointy hats™ and the color scheme & patterns their robes have, I also realized that they're also all powerful magicians~

Eriol is Clow's reincarnation, and according to various Cardcaptor characters, he (Clow) was the most powerful magician to ever exist (but also the most fucked up one as well, i guess.)

Given that Clow's reincarnation were 2 people (he thought he could divide his magical abilities between them), Eriol still (unfortunately) got all of the magic, and most of Clow's memories, literally passing down his title of being the most powerful magician onto Eriol.

This manchild can do lots of things, and his memory of his past life helps him excel in some of everyday skills a "normal child" would struggle with (ie. baking, drawing, sewing, speaking a language, etc). But, no one knows that— not even Sakura until he told her that himself.

also I'd like to point out the fact that despite a lot of his robe's designs were in gold (color, who knows if it's really gold? I don't.), the lining of his outfit is in red.

not sure if Clow's robe is similar (if not the same) or anything but if it is, has his robe been passed down from generations before him? and if so, which side of Clow's family was the robe from?

Yuna D. Kaito is also a powerful magician— in fact, one of (if not the) highest ranks in the Magical Association. (that's the D. in his name— it wasn't his middle name and in fact, Yuna D. Kaito probably isn't his real name) He can do lots of things, but he specializes in Time Magic... which is considered a taboo since you'll get a fucked up alternative world when YOU fucked up using that kind of magic... and also a shorter life-span but let's not delve much into that so this post won't go to the depressing direction 😁

And in regards of his robe, one can argue that the robe isn't really exclusively HIS, since you can see in the picture I've used that there are other people with him wearing the same clothing (assuming it's his clan's) so i suggest burning their headquarters down to ashes to make it YDK's own robe 😆😆

note: a kind friend in the comments pointed out my mistake of associating Yuna D. Kaito and Lilie Shinomoto's clans as one: their clans differ from each other. Yuna D. Kaito's in particular are a congregation of magicians that aren't blood-related and are officially referred to as "Magic Association".

i have no idea what to call his or Lilie's clans yet, but for now I'll refer to those as their respective clans 😅

Now onto the main Protagonist of the series: Sakura Kinomoto. In Tomoyo's words, "The only Cardcaptor in the world"

Started as a girl that had little magic that managed to grew stronger and stronger, then now having one of the abilities Clow had— creating cards (or new magic) on her own.

Though one can argue that she won't be able to do that if Yuna D. Kaito wasn't pulling the strings in the background, keep in mind that Momo said she saw right past Eriol's magic protection [to contain Sakura's magic]. Plus, in the Sakura Arc (where she technically created new cards but under a "template"), Eriol was pulling the strings as well and yet her powers still managed to grow, probably beyond people's expectations.

Her ever-growing power might be hard to control for her, but she's doing her best to utilize it in protecting the ones she cherishes the most.

Now the upcoming argument about Sakura's"ceremonial attire"... well, technically Sakura doesn't have one, and you can't really call that outfit a robe, but most of the details in a ceremonial robe (at least CLAMP's robes) present: the neutral color, the symmetrical design, and the gold lining/design.

I like to consider it her own ceremonial robe— made in a very fitting and unique image of Sakura, that only she will wear.

speaking of different, there are other powerful magicians that doesn't follow the same "ceremonial outfit" pattern so I thought I'd show them too!

here we have the Shinomoto Ceremonial Outfit, worn by the beautiful Akiho Shinomoto in this color page!

sorry about the picture if it's not clean... i tried so hard to find a textless one (same as yuna d. kaito) but unfortunately I couldn't.

now about the details aside from the pointy hat: the neutral color + gold lining & symmetrical detail scheme is there, but the difference with the 1st three and their robe is that the neutral color used with the Shinomotos' were white, as opposed to the first three who used black.

i know you've seen this already but since I'm talking about Lilie here in specifics I'd like to put this here are well: a kind friend in the comments pointed out my mistake of associating Yuna D. Kaito and Lilie Shinomoto's clans as one: their clans differ from each other, and that Lilie's (though only officially referred to as "most ancient magician clan in Europe") clan is blood-related, as opposed to Yuna D. Kaito's.

again, no idea what I'll call their respective clans separately yet, so I'll probably refer to them as their respective clans for now— though i have a few ideas xd

another difference is that the hat may be a bit pointy, but it's not as pointy as the three, and that the hat has three pointy things instead of just one.... okay, maybe not that pointy, but, still pointy 😅

okay that's too many pointy, let's get back on track 😁

the difference is blatantly obvious about this one, and I really can't cross Lilie Shinomoto out from one of the most powerful magicians CCS has ever introduced, since she had strong premonition powers and she was also considered a very powerful magician that's feared within Yuna D. Kaito's Clan. I mean it would take lots of powerful magic to be even able to cross time and dreams for that long just to tell Sakura about the truth in their (now fabricated) timeline?

but i wonder why is their robe different than the others?

we'll get back to that later, if i remember it. 😆

speaking of pointy hats™, you know a magician who doesn't have a pointy hat?

He's none other than Li Clan's next leader and Sakura's most important person, Syaoran Li!

one can never talk about ceremonial outfits without remembering Syaoran's iconic ceremonial outfits! with S because he has two— 1st one (in the pictures) being the original clothing he has, and the 2nd one Tomoyo made for him that was inspired by the one he used to have.

our little wolf is special~ from being Sakura's rival in the Clow Card Arc to being Sakura's most important person? He has learned so much and grew stronger along the way.

now about the details: his clothing doesn't really follow the usual attire pattern: the dominant color of his robe is green, the designs are indeed symmetrical, but the linings are both orange and yellow instead of the usual neutral pallete... his hat also doesn't have a pointy thing on it and instead has a hanging detail on the back.

"what about the attire Tomoyo made for him? it has 2 pointy things!" yeah well you're right, and as much as I gave the effort to add his Clear Card arc ceremonial outfit, I'm realizing now that it's not really an official robe now, is it...

about the clear card ceremonial attire, one can argue the same thing as they thought about Sakura while reading this blabber (if anyone has gotten though this far), "That isn't even a ceremonial ROBE". and you're right, it isn't... since it was Tomoyo's work, inspired from the original one. 😅

so think of it the same way as Sakura— made in the fitting and unique image of Syaoran, that only he could wear.

I guess the main couple of the series have that one as a similarity in regards to this random topic I've thought about. 💚

sooooooo what does this mean? why is his so different than the others?

is he not as powerful as the ones listed?

well. probably.

but he's not entirely powerless— his entire bloodline is directly related to Clow, and in addition, his mother Yelan Li is also a powerful sorceress. So they're powerful.

I mean would the Li Clan even let someone not as powerful as Yelan to be the next in line to lead? Of course not, since being able to have magic and to be able to properly control it are probably some basic requirements to be even considered as a candidate.

But in CCS at the moment, his magic wasn't enough to turn all of the Sakura Cards into those little orbs he kept on his compass. He's even having a hard time converting just one. And if I remember this correctly, he was aided by her mother (by casting the magic he needed in the bears) when he snatched the Sakura Cards from their master.

I'd say he's not as powerful NOW probably because everything happened too fast, and that he didn't have much time to make his magic stronger to get at least within Sakura's power level. Besides, he has lots of potential, and we all know he's a strong one so it's about just a matter of time until he reach his full power.

Now this entire post got me thinking about things as I was typing it.

Mostly they're questions I had to ask, like "okay, now what?" "Why did I do this?" especially because the original plan i had was to only have Eriol, Yuna D. Kaito & Sakura here but I thought I'd be unfair to the Lilie & Akiho, and Syaoran since they both have their own as well...

I really didn't think that one through when I started typing, but the more I think of things to type, the more I asked myself, is the ceremonial clothing an indicator of how powerful you are?

and it's probably a "duh." moment, since the ones who have robes are part of clans AND are also powerful.

(note that Clow was from a union of a European Magician AND an Asian Magician so imo- technically he's still part of BOTH clans, if each of his parents were part of one)

it's probably more of "if you're in an association with lots of other magicians", considering the fact that some of the ceremonial clothings were passed down to the living blood-relative of the family— hence why Sakura doesn't have one and the rest has.

though eriol with that ceremonial outfit can be a bit questionable since he's a reincarnation n stuff, and so far I don't remember ERIOL (capitalized bc I've been linking him to Clow, but I'm talking abt him as JUST him) being part of a clan since he worked independently (as far as I can remember), from what I can recall it was mentioned in the anime that the ceremonial clothing resembled Clow's... correct me if I'm wrong, though.

with the additional input i got from Cinzia (the friend who also pointed out the difference between Akiho's & Yuna D. Kaito's clans),

I also now wonder if the colors used in their robes reflect their intentions? or, since Lilie & Akiho's clan has been around for ages, how long their bloodline has existed?

because if it's the former, then it really won't make sense for Sakura & Eriol (though Eriol is once again, questionable... since his previous body as Clow isn't particularly... good nor he is also evil— at least from my perspective), and the latter makes more sense in general.

another one question i have is the explanation for Meiling's ceremonial clothing? like do they give different styles of ceremonial clothes in the Li Clan based on your gender? your magical abilities? or how closely-related you are to whoever leads the clan? i mean, i know she's an anime-exclusive character but I still want to know because I'm curious...

lastly, i wonder if Nadeshiko has one... since she is also a powerful person (she really doesn't do much sorcery stuff as far as i can remember), though the extent of her magic is unclear like Lilie, it's clear that she's also powerful because she can still do lots of things even after life.

IF you're one of the few people who finished reading this i just want to say thank you, and i hope everything made sense since i am very bad at explaining my thoughts 😭.

I think that's it, my brain is tired now and i want to go back to sleep again so good day to everyone and until next time, if there will ever be a next time 😆

and, cut! 🎬

#blabblecaptor #cardcaptor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card arc #card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card #clear card #clear card arc #yuna d. kaito #akiho shinomoto #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #eriol hiiragizawa #lilie shinomoto #blabbcaptor

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kajilychnis · 2 months ago

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Chapter I of "Arcane Heterize" a Trollhunters, Arcane Order fanfiction.

Author's Note : Before reading part 1 of my fanfiction about the Arcane order (which are characters from the trollhunters series). I wanted to warn you about several things about this fanfiction. First of all, I don't think I'll insert a ship during this story. I know people are tired of reading erotic fanfiction with ships (me too obviously). So this fanfiction won't contain this HOWEVER for Bellroc's past which would surely be revealed in the next chapters, it will surely have original characters since there "must be" people in their past who made them hate the humans. Secondly, I strongly advise you to go read my previous post before reading the first chapter, it's kind of a summary of this fanfiction. Third, I was wondering if I should continue posting on Tumblr or create an account on AO3 to post this fanfiction ? What do you think ? Is this a better idea idea ? Or maybe both.

Now that the essential has been said, enjoy reading !

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

The Arcane Order, a trio of primordial demigods who wished to maintain balance between magic and mortals. Even though in reality, their actions only caused suffering to humanity and magical beings... well yes... that's what we know about them. But in this alternate universe, the trio of demigods are different from the ones we know. Not completely... Bellroc is still the hothead of the three, Skrael is still the sarcastic pessimist of the trio, and Nari is still their only remaining ray of sunshine who always sees the bright side of things. Every day Nari comes up with a new idea to convince the other two that humans aren't so bad. Of course Skrael and Bellroc always try to question her opinion on humans but despite this she does not let herself be discouraged. Bellroc had even almost managed to convince Nari about humans, by saying : "Aren't they the same ones who are trying to raze your trees and pretty plants in order to acquire ever more polluting territories ?".

That day, Nari thought she was sinking into despair and pessimism for a moment. She looked around her and saw humans throwing trash on the ground, humans trampling plants without any qualms, factories that polluted the air and made the air less and less breathable. But she has also seen humans protecting nature, humans defending nature against those who exploit it, humans trying to save our beautiful blue planet and its breathtaking oceans and natural spaces. And for Nari, that was enough to have hope, for a better future. Skrael was always bringing up statistics about the pollution of the earth and its consequences to Nari, only because he couldn't stand her optimism. Skrael is a very pragmatic and rational person, he often tries to make his peers listen to reason. He doesn't really have any bad intentions, he just thinks it's about stating facts and nothing else.

Just today, he had done an internet search on his computer that he almost never leaves except if it's to read a book, and he found an 'interesting' video for Nari. As he entered Nari's room, he saw Nari dressing in a strange green florist's apron. He analyzed her from head to toe, she was wearing boots ! Boots ! He thought outraged. He frowned when he saw the woolen hat she wore to hide her antlers.

-"What is the meaning of this... pitiful attire ?" He hissed in a tone full of disdain.

-"Please... do not tell anything to Bellroc... but..." She retorted nervously.

Skrael quickly glanced her up and down before raising an non existent eyebrow.

-"But what ?"

-"But I work in a plant shop as a florist !" She said quickly without articulating as if she had always been waiting for this moment.

The ice demigod standing before her was speechless, he was opening his mouth then closing it then opening it again. He couldn't find the words. But he quickly pulled himself together, swallowed before adopting a firm and assertive tone.

-"Don't you think I didn't already know what you were doing behind me and Bellroc's back ? Do you think I'm as gullible as the hothead ? You see, my dear, you can't hide anything from me, you always go out on the same days at the same time and quite quickly as if you didn't want to be seen... by us."

Nari's eyes widen, of course yes, she knew that Skrael was the most observant and intelligent of the three, but she didn't think he suspected anything.

-"I... I know that... yes..."

-"Well, what are you waiting for to offer me interesting and tempting suggestions so that I don't tell the whole truth to the mighty and fiery Bellroc ?" He said in a low and mocking tone.

End of the chapter...

Spoiler Alert : Douxie and probably Zoe will be in this fanfic, so stay tuned. Chapters will be longer than this one... Oh and sorry for my bad english.

#tales of arcadia #bellroc keeper of the flame #trollhunters fanfic #toa trollhunters #toa nari #nari of the eternal forest #nari #skrael of the north wind #skrael #bellroc #tumblr fanfic #douxie casperan #toa zoe #the arcane order #toa au

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rowanaelinn · 2 years ago

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Happiness - Chapter Two

Happy Birthday @backtobl4ck !!! I rushed this one, but I know you were excited for it so I wanted to post it today for you! I hope you are having a great day!

Warnings: PTSD | Word Count: 3,400

As a hand brushed his shoulder, hope bloomed in his chest. He’d been standing here for more than an hour now, but it was alright. She was here now. He could work past the humiliation of talking everyone’s ears off about his wife for months now just for her to come out late, but only for her beautiful eyes. She’d just been late, exactly what he’d thought. Traffic could be awful at this time of the day.

He broke the tense stance and turned around with his lips tipping up. He couldn’t wait to sweep her in his arms. Yes, there’d be a conversation to have later. About his departure, about their fights, and all the calls he’d left unanswered during his time away but… For now, he just wanted to breathe her in.

Yet, he was only left with cold disappointment as he saw Fenrys’ mother there. There was a kind smile on her lips, the one she used to have on her face whenever she had to announce him his parents had forgotten to pick him up when he was a kid. He looked around, but at the exception of Fenrys and Connall, nobody else was there. Everyone had been tapped out already.

“I’m sorry, honey,” the woman who used to take care of him as a kid said.

He wished he could tell her something, that he wasn’t so awkward with people that he could touch her shoulder or lie to her and say that it was okay. Instead, he managed to give her an uncomfortable shrug before turning toward Fenrys. They’d grown up together, went to school together and enrolled in the military together. Even if he pissed off Rowan to no end most of the time, he was still grateful for his friend. “Did she call you?”

Out of all his friends, Aelin got along the best with the twins. She had that weird relationship with Fenrys that made him want to punch the guy in the face most of the time he was near his wife, and he also knew that Connall and Aelin supported each other whenever he and Fenrys were deployed.

He knew the answer before Fenrys shook his head. The man had his emotions written all over his face. “She isn’t answering. Maybe something’s wrong with her phone?”

He had to shut down any reaction he could be feeling. He had to be practical about this situation. Analyzing. Factually, he knew where she was. But if he was correct, it would mean that this would be another problem. It means that down the road he’d find pain. He had enough of pain.

He cleared his throat, chasing all tells of his emotions away. “I’ll take a taxi to the hospital, thank you.” Thank you for waiting, thank you for tapping him out so one of the officers wouldn’t have to do it.

“Nonsense,” Connall said. “Fenrys will catch a ride with Mom, and I’ll drive you.”

He thanked his friend with a nod, and in the car didn’t bother to try to hold a conversation. Connall wasn’t trying, anyway. He knew better than to ask a soldier how they felt so early after they came back from active shooting zone, and he also knew that whenever he and Aelin had… issues, he became even less talkative than he usually was. It was easy to be silent when with Connall.

Connall waited in the parking lot when Rowan asked one of the receptionists to call for Aelin, which he was only allowed to do once he said he was her husband. He was glad there was some semblance of security for the staff of this hospital. He wasn’t naïve enough to think that these places were safe. Aelin would say that he was paranoid.

He looked at posters when he felt her. He couldn’t explain it, knew that there was no scientific reasons as to why whenever she entered a room he felt it. He still did, and had from the first moment they met. He took a deep breath before turning around, and then he allowed himself to take her in. His wife.

She’d changed. There was some fatigue on her face that hadn’t been there when he left, no matter how much she threw herself into work then. He couldn’t help but wonder when her last full night of sleep had been.

She seemed… surprised when she saw him. Surprised, conflicted. Happiness wasn’t the main trait on her features now, and he knew it was the same for him. He couldn’t blame her for that.

When she hugged him, wrapping her arms around him, he wanted to leave. He didn’t want to have that conversation with her, but he’d missed her so fucking much that he still stuck around. At least it’d be time spent with her, even if it was just to argue.

---

“We’re here,” Connall said, and when Rowan looked up, they were indeed parked in front of his house. They hadn’t chosen to live in a military house, instead buying one closer to Aelin’s work and back then, her university. They’d also wanted to avoid the nosiness that came with military towns.

Rowan thought he’d enter the house alone, and maybe unpack. But Connall got out of the car and helped Rowan with his belongings, even if he could have done it alone. He told his friend so.

Connall shrugged, “Don’t stay alone, offer me a beer.”

That made him want to smile.

The house was… cold. Not literally, as Aelin loved to live in warm spaces, but the feeling of entering. He thought he’d find stuff everywhere, knowing how messy his wife was. But no. The house was neatly clean. Not a single thing out of space. Her office had been organized with her messiness, showing how much time she spent there. But this house? It was as if no one had lived there in months. Yes, this house was cold.

“You can just leave these here,” he told Connall, who listened and placed the bag just next to the staircase.

He went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and was glad to find a few beers there. He liked his drinks cold, but Aelin hates beer and since she forgot about him coming… He didn’t think she’d have anything ready. But she did, and these were his favorites.

Should that make him feel as conflicted as he’s feeling now? A simple beer in the fridge?

He grabbed two and closed the door, but before he could walk to the living room where his friend was waiting, his attention was captured by the wall of pictures on his left. It had always been there, but there were a few new pictures. He walked there, wanting to see what he’d missed.

Next to the one that had been taken at their wedding—a beautiful shot of Aelin and her cousin dancing together—was a new picture of her and Fenrys that must have been taken before their deployment. She was dressed in a pink sundress and had the man’s arm wrapped around her shoulder, the both of them grinning. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something wrong with this picture. And it wasn’t Fenrys this time. He trusted his friend and his wife.

Under this one, another picture captured his attention. Was that at Aelin’s graduation last year? He’d been back home that day, but his superior had asked for his help to train new recruits, which means he’d been gone for two weeks. He wished he could have been there, although he hated how much she worked he knew how much she wanted that degree. He felt so proud of her, and wished he could have been there to celebrate but it wasn’t possible. No one can say no to Rowan’s bosses.

But as he admired that picture of her, he had never seen, Aelin holding her degree and smiling for the cameras. No, she wasn’t smiling. That one was a little more obvious than the one picture before but… she was smirking.

It was strange. Yes, he’d seen her make that face a few times over the years, but never when her face was supposed to be filled with happiness. Perhaps it was the biggest tell. Even louder than how she had stopped kissing him before bed two years ago, how she had stopped joining him downstairs after she woke up for coffee, instead choosing to stay hours in their room, always studying. It was even more telling than how she had slowly pulled back, always angling her body away from him.

She wasn’t the same Aelin. She still looked the same, yes. But he barely saw the woman he married in that picture. There was no anger in him, though he had felt so much of it during his deployment. No, his emotions were… numb. How could she look the same and yet so different at the same time?

He looked at another picture then, one taken at their wedding. It was the first picture they’d hung on that wall, and he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her as they did that. Just as he was glued to her on that picture. She was wearing a short white dress she’d bought at the mall the same morning, and she was tucked right into his side. It didn’t stop him from staring at her, that smile that had felt so natural back then. She was smiling, too. So radiant that she must have blinded the entire room that night.

But next to this picture was a new one taken when he came back from his last deployment. It wasn’t the same expressions. She still smiled, still looked at him but now, when he could compare, it was obvious the difference. She resented him. That wasn’t… wasn’t something he’d ever wanted to face. He’d been happy to ignore it, but how could he when it was so obvious? Did everyone who walked into the house saw it? Did any who ever saw them—

It was instinct that took over as the ringing in his ears appeared, at the way his body froze for half a second when the loud noise made itself heard. He went for his belt, only to not find his gun there. Goddamn it. How could he be in an active warzone and walk without his gun. He grabbed the first thing he saw: a knife. In the next second, he was in fighting stance, ready to kill or be killed.

“Shit, man,” someone breathed on his left. The voice was familiar. He looked and saw Connall.

Connall Moonbeam, a lawyer. Who had nothing to do with the military. He couldn’t be there.

And this room… this wasn’t a desert. It was his house, in Doranelle.

He let the knife fall onto the floor, trying to regulate the shaking in his hands. They weren’t supposed to shake, had never before.

What the fuck was that?

“Rowan, you okay?”

He swallowed, looking around himself. The kitchen, he was in the kitchen. Not there.

“Yes,” he said, trying to sound convincing. He had to get away from here. “Con, can I spend the night at yours?”

---

It was late when Aelin opened the door and was wrapped into the house warmth. Or perhaps it was early. She didn’t really know where the line stood, but she knew that she was picking as many hours in the hospital as possible. Even more so than before.

What else should she be doing?

Her plans were to pour herself an obscene amount of wine and watch some TV, and then hope to find some sleep. Not that she had been sleeping a lot lately. She particularly enjoyed the nights where she was so exhausted that she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

But finding Rowan sitting on the couch hadn’t been in her plans.

Her stopped in her movements as she saw him there, but quickly regained power over her limbs. She wouldn’t let him see her reactions. He looked up, eyes scanning her body as he always did when he saw her. Not in a lustful way, though it had happened, but more as a way to make sure she was safe. Probably something picked up from his entire love and devotion to the military.

“Did you finally come back to your senses?” She asked coldly as she took off her coat, leaving her in her scrubs.

“You’re home late.”

She glared at him, making her way to the kitchen where she picked a glass and a bottle of her favorite wine. Then, she poured a little more than necessary. But no one was here to judge her for that. Oh, except… Yes, he followed her to the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, not even othering to spare him a glance as she took a long sip of her drink. She was too aware of him, so she knew when he settled against the kitchen island.

“It’s my home.”

She huffed a laugh then. “Is it, really?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked, tension in his voice.

She braced herself on the cold marble of the kitchen island, then turned her head to look at him. “Well, I don’t know. You always look so eager to leave. First to sleep on bunk beds in the middle of the desert, then to spend a week the Gods know where just after you come back.”

A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I have to leave for work, I don’t choose to leave so far. And I thought we needed space, until we could talk.”

He chose to leave, though. His contract had ended at the end of his previous deployment, and he still re-enlisted. No matter how any times she begged him not to. That was his choice, not something that he was forced to do.

“Where were you?” He was dressed in civilian clothes, but that didn’t mean he didn’t spend time at the closest military base. It was late, and he could have had time to change. The idea of him living there was funny. He’d be so close to everything he freaking loved, and twenty miles away from what he seemed to loath now.

“Connall’s.”

She gritted her teeth. It bothered her more than she wished it did, that he spent time there. That was where she’d spent multiple nights during his and Fenrys’ deployment. He was a huge part of her support system, and he’s only texted her once in the last week.

“Well, don’t let me stop you. I’m sure he’s waiting for you.”

“I’m staying,” he stated, as if she wouldn’t question that.

She snorted. “Yeah, for how long this time. An hour?”

“Until I find myself a new place. Until things are settled.”

She could feel the fire rise in her. He used to joke that the gold in her eyes turned into flames whenever she was angry, well if it was true, he was aware of how she felt now. She took another sip of wine. “I’m not sure she’d really appreciate it.”

His brows furrowed. “She?”

Aelin cocked her head to the side, taking a step in his direction. “Yes, she.” She swallowed another sip of alcohol. Why was she even brushing that subject, goddamn it? “You know, that woman you found in the Southern Continent.” Another step, but he didn’t move. “The one you’ve got to know. You fell for her. Who knows, you may have even fucked her,” she breathed, looking in his eyes. She took another step, not realizing how close she was. She was shaking, though. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was the fatigue, or maybe it was the disgust at the idea of him with someone else. “Or should I say the one you’re leaving me for. Does that ring a bell?”

Something shone in his eyes, before he dimmed it. “I didn’t meet anyone, and I don’t cheat.”

She snorted, “I don’t believe you.” But she wanted to, very much so.

He took a step, breaking any sort of safe space Aelin had tried to keep. He had to look down to keep eye contact, and as a reflex, she tilted her head up. He was as punchable as he was lovable.

“You’re leaving me,” she breathed. It was settling in slowly, how he wanted out. When he mentioned it for the first time, she nearly laughed. Until she realized he was serious, that this was truly a wish of his. When this set in, it was as if a hole was being dug in her chest. A hole that kept getting bigger and bigger the most the thought about it, hence why she stayed at work longer.

“Not for someone else,” he replied on the same tone. “I’d never do that.”

“Just like you swore you’d never leave? Is that another of your promises?” They meant shit to her now. Nothing mattered because he was gone. Physically he was present, but emotionally? He found his way out. Using a backdoor she had contemplated using sometimes, but never found it in herself to really want it.

He closed his eyes, breathing ragged. The warm, nearly burning, air hit her face at every respiration, but she didn’t push him away. She should, though. Shouldn’t she? They shouldn’t be allowed to be near, now.

He wasn’t her Rowan anymore. It wasn’t just his idiotic wish to be separated but… He’d stopped being her Rowan years ago. She’d spent more time with a husband she resented than one she adored.

“You don’t get to want a way you,” she sneered. “Not when I’m stuck here because of you. Not when I gave you everything.”

He pulled away, then. Glaring. “Then accept. Let’s get divorced, so you can go back to your fancy Orynth.”

Her lips parted. He wanted her gone.

She had wanted to leave for years, to go back near her family. To where she had grown up. But she had made her home in Doranelle now. Had friends, her cousin had moved here. She refused to leave this nest she had created for him.

She refused to be away for him, that was what she didn’t dare to admit to herself.

She looked away for a second, but the pull to look at him was too strong. There was this pit in her chest, one that was filling with tears quickly. Tears that burned her eyes, making her bite the inside of her cheek until she could control the wobble of her lips.

She couldn’t let him see her cry.

Not when he was almost… a stranger.

That was how she saw things.

“You’re taking the spare room,” she said, because she knew that she had no way to tell him to not sleep here.

She could ask him to leave, and he probably would. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to share a house with him, but she couldn’t throw him out either.

She needed her own space, though. So, no, she couldn’t share a room with him. She refused.

There was something that flashed in his eyes, and she had an inkling on what it was. They had never called the spare room that way. Ever since they bought the house, that second bedroom had always been the Baby’s room. Where their child would sleep and play. But it never happened, and certainly would never happen now.

Aelin had bought an adult sized bed and some furniture for the times her family from Orynth decided to visit. Her uncles were always welcome here, and she had wanted to make it has home-y as possible.

He nodded. “Of course.”

She could go back to her room now and break alone. But she stood there, watching him. He’d changed, was more guarded now. He had never been guarded with her, had always allowed her a door into his thoughts. She lost the key sometimes in the last few years, though.

She shook her head, thinking of everything he’s throwing away. All the time she’d lost. Her voice was weak as she said, “I wish I had never met you.”

••••••

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney y // @feysand-loml // @elentiyawhitethorn // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj // @gracie-rosee // @acreativelydifferentlove // @cretaceous-therapod // @louphantomdragon // @mis-lil-red // @backtobl4ck // @whoever-you-choose-to-love // @lemonade-coolattas // @mad-madeline-ace // @the-introverted-bibliophile // @leiawritesstories // @emilyoftheshadows // @anniesbookshelf // @rainbowcheetah512 // @astra-ad-mare // @story-scribbler // @superspiritfestival // @wordsafterhours // @rowaelinrambling // @black-daisy-water // @fireheart-violet // @livsdriverslicense // @charlizeed // @ladykreads // @mariamuses // @autumnbabylon // @justreadertings // @highqueenofelfhame // @earthtolinds // @bowdawn // @psychopath-at-heart // @ginnyweasley06 // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

#happiness #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan and aelin #aelin of the wildfire #aelin galythinius #tog fandom #tog fanfic #throne of glass

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linklethehistorian · 2 years ago

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Of Skyfall, Sigma, Ian Fleming & James Bond

A personal theory add-on for Skelechuuchuu’s incredible Ian Fleming theory. Please read and give love and support to that original theory here if you have the time!

Hello everyone! At the time of posting this, I’m extremely sick and kinda sleep-deprived right now, so I will probably not be terribly active until I feel better. :’)

Nevertheless, after having a small chat (with a lot of breaks in between :’)) with some cool people in a BSD server, I still wanted to come and drop this little add-on to the recent (and extremely compelling) theory that dropped about Sigma being Ian Fleming (and James Bond-inspired).

As I tend to do best, I wanted to analyze and explain why Skyfall is not only a perfect and crucial choice for the episode name in S4 as OP describes above due to the inseverable tie to James Bond, but also how the lyrics to the tie-in Bond song by this name themselves relate perfectly to Sigma and the events of BSD involving him so far.

I’ll place it below the cut for both S4 spoilers and manga spoilers up to Chapter 106-107 or so! Proceed with caution if you’re worried about spoilers!

Now, without further ado, let’s get to lyric analyzing!

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of analyzing the song lyric by lyric, allow me to start with a more generalized observation:

The overarching theme of the song Skyfall, apart from being obviously intrinsically linked to Bond (given it was made for it), is about bravely facing down the end with those you love, come what may; this is a perfect fit for Sigma, whose whole character is wrapped up in the concept of needing to belong and protect those he loves. In the episode of the same name, he even fights, despite knowing he is “just an ordinary man”, with his whole life to protect his beloved people in the Casino, unafraid of dying because living without them would be meaningless.

(I would also like to note here that at first glance, it might seem to be written almost like a love song, but I feel it’s important to distinguish — especially in the context of this theory — that this is not necessarily the case, and there is one line that upon listening to it, especially seems to almost completely confirm otherwise to me; in the song, it sounds like Adele is saying “all your loving arms”, despite many lyric sites and such claiming otherwise (it is really not uncommon for artists to differ from the original written lyrics from time to time in certain recordings, so I find this rather plausible). Nevertheless, whether or not this is actually correct, the song is ambiguous enough that it can still be taken however one wishes, and I believe that if we apply it to Sigma, the song is not directed towards one person, but towards a group of them.)

I’ll get on to the more intricate stuff of analyzing lyric by lyric in a moment, but before I do I would just like to make one little key statement here before we start, and that is that despite how it seems, I don’t actually believe most of this song was meant to be applied to the casino or the people there; rather, I believe it largely reflects and is about his feelings towards Dazai, Atsushi, and the ADA as a whole. (Again, I’ll explain this more in a bit, but…there is one particular set of lyrics that truly sets this up for me: “Skyfall is where we start”; obviously, Sigma has had his casino and known the people in it for awhile, from his perspective, but do you know who he does meet in the episode Skyfall, and first starts to find some small measure of hope/consolation in? Atsushi. The ADA.)

Okay, with that in mind, now let’s on to the main bit!

This is the end Hold your breath and count to ten

In the most recent chapters, Dazai and Sigma are trapped underwater, and literally have to hold their breath to survive. As he runs out of air, Sigma is counting the moments until he can resurface, but fears it may not happen because Dazai seems determined to stop him (for good reason, it turns out)

Feel the Earth move and then Hear my heart burst again

Being with Dazai and having hope of joining the ADA has shifted Sigma’s world around him, changing his worldview and making his heart explode with genuine hope at all of the kind deeds they’ve performed for him — especially when he realizes Dazai is not trying to kill him by keeping him underwater but protect him.

For this is the end I've drowned and dreamt this moment

As they’re staying under the water and near out of air to share, Sigma almost fully accepts his fate, thinking to himself that he may die this way, but at least he was able to dream of a beautiful life for once in those few precious moments he shared with the ADA.

So overdue, I owe them

Sigma has waited a long time to have a place to permanently belong and feel loved and cared for, and he feels indebted to the Agency for all they’ve done for him — all their acts of kindness.

Swept away, I'm stolen

When Dazai was given a chance to pick something to take with him in Mersault, he stole Sigma from the DOA completely, and this action also sweeps Sigma away with surprise, hope, and gratitude inside.

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all together

This one is probably pretty self-explanatory; Sigma isn’t afraid of death, as long as he stands with the ADA in hope of a good life, though this attitude also perfectly fits his attitude towards the Casino in the Skyfall ep and how he stood with his people against the Hunting Dogs, unafraid to die for them.

Skyfall is where we start

I already went over this one a bit, but Skyfall is the ep where he and Atsushi (and by extension the ADA) meet for the first time; it’s his start with knowing the ADA — the time when he first experiences true hope that doesn’t involve him being used and discarded in the end.

A thousand miles and poles apart

I think this part is kinda metaphorical to how he at first thinks he and the ADA are on opposite sides, and that they care nothing for him besides forcing him to use his ability; in his eyes, they are worlds apart and he could never even get close to their world of light.

Where worlds collide and days are dark

Yet, in that moment of Atsu trying to save him, Sigma begins to feel they’re not so far apart, after all.

Their worlds collided in that brief moment, on one of his darkest days, and he felt grateful for that, even though he still felt his fate was sealed and that he had to let go of Atsu’s hand to prevent him from tumbling to his death with him.

You may have my number, you can take my name But you'll never have my heart

I believe this would be directed at everyone else whom had used and abused him up until this point, and, from his perspective, took his memory from him; they can take everything from him, own him, rob him of his true identity, etc., but he will never be one of them. He’ll never truly be a terrorist. His heart belongs in the light — with the ADA; he realizes that now.

Where you go, I go What you see, I see

As a member of the server we were in, Cloudii, pointed out, I think this could be a reference to how similar Sigma sees himself to Atsushi and vice versa, but I think it could also be a reference to his willingness to follow the ADA (both literally and metaphorically) and with the last line, his ability to gain knowledge of someone else’s knowledge (and thereby in a limited way experiences) through touch.

I know I'd never be me Without the security [Of] All your loving arms Keeping me from harm Put your hand in my hand And we'll stand

The lines about “put your hand in my hand, and we’ll stand” in particular strongly remind me of the moment when Atsu tries to save Sigma by holding his hand when he dangled off the casino, and reflects both Atsu’s desire to have him keep holding on and pull him to solid ground, and Sigma’s desire to stand by the ADA and repay them for kindness by using his ability for them right before what he believes will be his death.

That being said, I also think this whole set of lyrics above matches Sigma’s attitude towards the ADA and his determination to stand by them now in general, even in the most dire of times.

He knows that he’ll never get to be who he wants to be and live the life he wants to live, having a place of belonging, an identity, people who love him genuinely, if he doesn’t learn to put his faith in them and trust that they are different from the rest of those who had him before. The ADA seems to love and protect him and so he’ll do his best, ordinary as he feels he is, to stand by them, too, until his last breath — using his ability and whatever else he may have as necessary, as they face down the end of the world as they know it and those who would bring it about together.

Anyway, yeah, that’s my analysis for today! Thank you for reading! Love y’all. 🥺💖

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thatinsufferablenerd · 2 months ago

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Post Spooky Update

The weather is slowly cooling off here finally. Spooky Season is over and another year has gone by without reading any scary books or movies like I say I’m gonna do every year. I’ve been enjoying all the festive content in my different social media feeds instead. Horror book recs from BookTube, video essays that analyze aspects of the horror genre, discussions of films or anime that set the mood. I probably should be more embarrassed of how much YouTube I watch, but seeing as I’m a housewife with a passion for learning and too many interests to succinctly sum up, I’m not going to lose too much sleep over it.

I wish I did have some mood appropriate reads to tell you about. I love books, I love storytelling, I love getting lost in a good book, but my ability to actually get into–let alone through–books has atrophied so much I’ve concluded it’s a Me ProblemTM. When I was young, in elementary and middle school, I could read a book a day. I DID for a long time, exchanging the one I just finished for something new during lunch. And then I got older. I got into movies and writing, I had a job, then I had longer hours, then I had kids that I stayed home with. The library was too far to walk to, we didn’t have money to buy books, and I was too tired to read them anyway. It was easier to focus on honing my craft of writing because it was simpler to hit the backspace button when a toddler smacked my keyboard than risk a library book.

And I regret that. The act of consuming story and pure, distilled joy I get from them is a core part of who I am. If I didn’t love reading, I would never have developed a love for writing. If I didn’t love the stories and characters I read in books, I would never have discovered the love I have for analyzing and discussing them. I would never have learned about the relationship between literature and culture, that I love learning about historical context, the art of interpretation, or linguistics, things like that. Ever since I stopped reading piles of books or trade paperbacks of comics from the library, I’ve said to myself every few months “I miss reading”, “I want to get back into reading”.

It’s not like I haven’t read anything since I was nineteen. Of course I have. I read all five books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series in the span of a year. I read monthly releases of DC comics for years, picked up pulpy romance novels ‘just as a palate cleanser!’, I tried starting book clubs with friends, promises of ‘I won’t buy or borrow any books until I read the ones I have’. And then I’d get through a few chapters of whatever I picked up only to put it down for the last time. I’ve made some progress! I read A Song of Achilles and Circe by Madelline Miller, Skyward by Brandon Sanderson, I accidentally read the sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? In the last year. And I’ve gotten further in a lot of the books I’ve picked up than before. I’ve been reading manga more than anything the last few years. My Hero Academia, Spy x Family, My Dress-up Darling, Dungeon Meshi, Demon Slayer, One Piece, all stories I’ve enjoyed and have a lot to say about! I re-read the last six volumes of Demon Slayer a few weeks ago and wrote an entire comment section dissertation about it, the latest installment in a series that serves as the quiet void I shout into.

The first step for me was probably accepting that I’m never going to be able to read like I did in middle school. That’s okay, right? I might not have a JOB, but I am a grown-up with grown-up things to do. And it’s not like I’ve been sitting on my ass the whole time. I’ve learned so much, like how to actually form opinions, how to interpret text, how to analyze properly, how to do research, how to really write, among so many other things. Things I had to teach myself. I know, they say ‘the best writers are also prolific readers’. I believe that, I really do. I would never claim that I’m some genius writer and better than people who have gone to school for this or are so well-read that it improves their prose by default. What I am saying is that…I want to get there. I miss reading.

So, I set a small goal for myself. There are so many books out there that I want to read. And sure, my little local library has a limited catalog, and Libby has at least two weeks’ waits on everything, and I can’t afford to buy books brand new, but we can only work with what we have, not what we don’t. I’ve decided to read one contemporary book, one classic, and one (ish) manga a month. Sure, there are going to be some blurred lines here, but I think we’re all mature enough to handle that. I’m going to define ‘classics’ as anything more than a century old. Slaughterhouse Five is newer than that but it is taught as a classic and on my TBR, so maybe it will count as a classic for that month. Who knows? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. And if the manga is long, say, more than three hundred chapters, then I might split it into two months.

With that being said, my picks for November are: A Hero of France by Alan Furst, Tolkien’s translation of Beowulf, and for the manga, Bleach.

My local library had a book sale recently. I bought a hundred and thirty books for eighty-five dollars in two trips. Not all of them are novels! I’m very proud of the memoirs and other non-fiction books I got. But that should keep me occupied for a good while yet. Not to mention the books I already have. That Furst novel is one of the ones I picked up last year at the book sale. It’s historical fiction about an agent in the French Resistance. I like historical fiction, I think it’s a versatile genre for both readers and writers. I read about half of a book called Lion’s Blood that was alternate US History last year that I’m gonna have to go back to because I STILL think about it. Anyway, that Furst novel. I’m about halfway through and I’m going to finish it. I’m invested enough to see it through, and I’m enjoying the experience. When I finish it and have had some time to collect my thoughts, you’ll be hearing them.

While at that book sale, my almost nine-year-old became infatuated with a book. He liked the cover and title so much that he wanted me to buy it for him. I told him, “Buddy, this book would be a tough read for a grown-up.” He said he would figure it out, that he would ask for help when he needed it. The book was a dollar, so I bought it. I can’t say I’ve ever read Clive Cussler, but if I can help him understand it, I can be persuaded to read dry historical fiction. I know enough about WWII to explain what’s going on to him. It’s not on my list to get done by the end of November, but it is a high priority read.

I picked Beowulf (and this translation) specifically because A) I know how influential Beowulf is on western storytelling, B) I’m a fan of Tolkien as a writer as well as his love of and gift for languages, C) I watched Monstrum’s episode on Grendel’s Mother and the Cardinal West YouTube documentary on Tolkien in the last few months, both of which I enjoyed a lot, and finally D) I’m a fan of Dr. Chase from The Best of Fantasy. My friend was kind enough to surprise me with a shiny new copy. It’s probably going to be a difficult read for me. I plan on taking notes and going slow to really digest it. I’m also trying to talk my mom into a buddy read, but we’ll see how the cookie actually crumbles with that one.

Now, for how I landed on Bleach. I watched the entirety of Naruto and Shippuden (yes, even the filler) back in 2020, 2021, and then binged One Piece in 2023 into the early part of this year. So, of course, the insufferable nerd in me said ‘I want to be able to say I’ve seen the Big Three’. So I watched the anime. I wasn’t that impressed with it. Yes, certain characters stayed in my brain, yes I LOVE the Thousand Year Blood War (I’m currently behind), but it didn’t really hit me like Naruto and One Piece did. I thought the passion of the fandom might get me more into it. I tried art, lore videos, discussion, analysis, and that did help! But Bleach just…kinda fell by the wayside for me. A lot of fans say the anime isn’t as good as the manga, but it’s a long series. I didn’t have the time or energy to commit, especially when I had other series I was actually into to follow. I do follow One Piece, Spy x Family, and My Dress-up Darling on release. I followed MHA for more than three years week to week, only binging the last hundred or so chapters last month after its conclusion.

And then AJ dropped his video titled ‘The Hollow Melancholy of Bleach’. It brings up some of the feelings I had watching the Fullbringer Arc and the Thousand Year Blood War and expresses something the anime just…didn’t capture for me. But that video and Geoff Thew from Mother’s Basement’s video on Bleach finally sold me. It took me a couple weeks, according to the notes I’ve been taking I started on October fourteenth.

The manga is fantastic. I tried for thirty chapters a day and haven’t been as consistent as I’d like, but I’m in the two-sixties now. The art is beautiful, the character writing is great, the fights are intense, the vibes immaculate and the emotions are SO deep, so complex and resonant. I am so glad I jumped in, and I’m going to continue to take notes as I go.

Reading isn’t the only thing I do, obviously. My first love will always be writing. I took a bit of a break cough-BookTube-cough, but picking it back up is always a joy. I’ll probably be spending some time in front of my white board in the near future working out some world building details that were not super relevant till now. I watched Jake over at Nerd Level Rising talk to Christopher Ruocchio and was sent into a PANIC over idiolects and regional dialect features, which I’ve been doing all along, just not enough? I guess? I looked everything over and did some light edits, took some notes to make things more consistent. Culture is a complex web, all interconnected and inseparable from the individual parts. Building them is hard work, a job that never seems to end, even if the document of notes is for me, not the hypothetical reader.

You could say that I was too heavily influenced by long form stories with extended casts, because even though I’m closing in on a hundred and seventy thousand words, I’m in part two of…five? Maybe? In epic fantasy, there are so many moving parts to keep track of at any given moment aside from the nuts and bolts of prose and pacing. I worry all the time that everything I have is trash, and even if it isn’t, it would never get picked up by a trad publisher and I won’t be able to afford self-publishing. I’ve had some other sets of eyes on my prologue as alpha readers. Positive, encouraging feedback that I’m grateful for! It’s not the same thing as having someone who’s familiar with the story, who knows where my head is at, where I’m going. I don’t write to publish, I do it because I love it. But I’ve been writing for twenty years, and actively working to get better at it for fifteen of them. There’s just nothing to show for it. Everything I’ve finished has ended up in an old computer’s recycle bin or in a literal paper shredder, with abandoned works in progress along the way. As terrifying as it is to expose yourself to the light, it’s impossible to soak in the warmth of sunlight in the dark.

I’m going back to the grindstone when I’m done here. I won’t give up.

Other than all the YouTube distractions and trying to rightfully earn the title of bibliophile, I’ve been trying to watch shows again. Just a few things. I watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War and loved it, enough to put the manga on my TBR. I finally got around to watching Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End with the same result. I watched Dungeon Meshi twice, read the manga front to back. What a story! I’ve been meaning to write an essay on it, but I can’t imagine having anything to say that hasn’t already been said. I watched Mob Psycho 100 and can’t express enough how much it resonated with me. For the first time, I watched Over the Garden Wall. The kerfluffle on Twitter over it being removed and restored to Hulu recently had me digging that up. Quality Culture did a great essay on that series last year which I highly recommend. My friends have been obsessed with the new Interview With the Vampire series, enough to read the books, so I watched three episodes of season one and liked it a lot. I’ll get around to it. I watched Steven Universe: Future, which I’ve been wanting to for a while. We watched the main series with our kids and enjoyed it, and I thought the sequel series built on the themes and story well.

And like everyone else in the anime community right now, I’m watching Dandadan. It’s GREAT. The animation, the sound design and OST, the character writing, the action, all of it is just stunning. It’s funny and got a lot of heart to it. Momo and Okarun are so cute. I haven’t watched the new set of episodes in the Thousand Year Blood War yet, but I’ll catch up in the next week or so. I’ve been impressed with this adaptation, especially with the old series not really pulling me in until its final episodes. Not only is it visually enrapturing, it really hits on the atmosphere and emotions; not just in service to the story but truly elevates the material.

With all the things I take in, it’s probably no surprise that there’s no less than five trains of thought going on at any given time. That video Tale Foundry did last week about Weird Tales and pulp fantasy, and this comment arguing that the fanfic community has stepped in to fill that niche? Yeah, I’m still thinking about it. Zoe Bee’s most recent drop about how metaphor influences the way we think and how that relates to politics? Of course I’m thinking about it! Not just about how it affects rhetoric but how it affects diction in prose, which is more my wheelhouse. Princess Weekes’ follow up to her ‘Tall, Dark and Racially Ambiguous’ essay surrounding casting Heathcliff gave me food for thought, and Jess of the Shire’s fantastic essay ‘Monstrosity & the Vampire’ did too. Tim over at Hello Future Me did a video about ‘Arcology: The City in the Image of Man’ and I’m still chewing on that one too. How could I not? The ideas presented there are FASCINATING, big picture questions about structuring society and the growing subgenre of solarpunk. Broey Deschanel and Final Girl Studios both doing amazing videos on The Substance? Of course I’m over here thinking about them! Final Girl Studios’ essay is called ‘The Simulacrum of Feminine Performance’, how could I not sit here and think about that, and what that is, and what that means?? And on top of all that, I opted into a DnD one shot in a couple weeks! Gonna need a character for that, one that’s PG…man, I’ve been busy!

#spilled thoughts #small talk #digital diary #book tumblr #booklr #writeblr

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chromatic-lamina · 2 years ago

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hi there!

I always see you commenting on OP chapters and analyzing them, which makes it a great joy for me to read some without the typical op fans hate.

Anyhow, I would like to ask for your thoughts on Law's current situation and his rule in the future #spoilers

I personally don't think his rule is over yet, Oda went out of his way to declare Law's new goal, which many ppl said after dressrosa he is irrelevant?

besides, Law isn't a rival to Luffy, if anything he's an ally, so there is no point in tossing him out of the story like he did with Kidd - which is a shame and lazy writing honestly - But I don't like to use '' he's a D too'' argument either, because:

a) Ace, b) not every D is essential to the plot.

I can't predict what Oda gonna do with him in the future, maybe join Luffy again ( the fan in me talking) or join Crocodile and the others (stampede foreshadowing ?)cuz law doesn't seem to care who he works with as long as his goals are accomplished.

I just feel like Oda wanted so bad to get rid of his crew and focus on him - and bepo cuz he's cute- it seems like a pattern that Oda is doing every time Law is on screen.

P.S. I'm sick of people saying law gonna die, like, what's the point of him dying, they've been on it for years lol.

I hope this massage isn't too much

thank you !

Hi Nonny,

Thank you! Wow—that's quite an ask! (I don't mind). My answer will probably not be that long (haha) and obviously I'm not Oda, so everything is speculation. I'm not answering in any particularly order, but

I don't think Kid has been cast aside. He might not be a contender for the One Piece any more, but Oda put a lot of work into his character too, making it one of the main subplots of Wano, and a lot of work into his design, and Kid and Law appeared on two of the volume covers for the Wano arc, so I think he's temporarily disposed, but I think we'll see him again (plus he named all of Kid's crew?). Killer as well, having appeared on that colour spread with the first hand men of major players (Shiryu is there as well; but I do think that King and Katakuri might not be playing roles).

2. I think the D. should be focused on, actually. All of the Ds, in that, perhaps the Poneglyphs the Hearts carried did survive in their own possession (wishful thinking!), and the crew themselves. I've written elsewhere that I think that Oda gave them a marine animal theme, and named them after marine animals (some of which can dive very deep) for a purpose (I call them National Geographic Hearts). However, this is more a head canon for my creative purposes, and I do cede that Oda separates Law from his crew on the regular, cos' 20 characters plus 10 characters + 1 is far too many for a storyline to maintain cohesion, and it's Luffy's story.

3. Okay, this is a spoiler for my fanfiction, Bioluminescent Hearts: BUT, what if through marine animal shapeshifting devices, ALL Hearts & Law & Bepo end up on Elbaf, which, according to Artur at Library of Ohara, is not too far from Winner Island (I'll put a visual below). The poneglyphs survive, somehow (actually, might have them wrapped in seal skin. Might edit that into my story!) ie: one of the crew always kept them on their body, nearby, etc.

Saul (a D.) recognises Law because he follows the news and Robin's life, and takes in both the Hearts and "returns" the poneglyphs to Law. (Also, probably knew a young Rosinante). From there???

4. I doubt Oda is gonna take that path. But that's my alternative path. Law will probably hook up with Luffy and I don't mind Kid doing that either. I don't

want Law to do it as an extra Straw Hat though, or as a (relation)ship or as a subordinate to Luffy. Robin and Law will still be able to pursue their wish to seek out true history through their interest in the Void Century, Will of D. etc., and Saul will help fill in the blanks if this path is taken.

I believe the Kid and Heart crews will still play a support role to Luffy, but it will be sketched into the background. I believe that Killer will also have a role (like Bepo). Possibly the next best-known Hearts and Kid pirates might appear. Again, I don't think it will be that detailed.

5. What I started to say above but didn't, is that I think that all Ds are essential to the plot, especially now that we've discovered that Saul is alive, and Ace's death obviously drives the story, as do Law's parents' death, but Law isn't going to die because he's a D or pursuit of knowledge about being a D, etc., or for any other reason imo.

I don't think that Oda would want anything to overshadow Luffy's story at this point of the narrative, and killing Law off would do that. The angst train is strong, though, anon! So let people have their hand-wringing. It can be fun.

Also, I totally understand the deeper tragedy of losing a home/house (and in Japanese, Law refers to his crew as うち uchi , which is a word for home, when they meet the Straw hats on Zou), BUT I feel that Oda will not kill off the Hearts, and even if they're captured, I don't think the focus will strongly be on them (time constraints).

But, it will be cool if the hook up with Koby again in Hachinosu, etc. (there is that sub-story too!), considering the role they must've played in the Rocky Port Incident. Law too.

The Polar Tang was destroyed. And I love her. And I loved the Victoria Punk too, but through writing about the Polar Tang, probably had a deeper attachment to the submarine. However, the Hearts and the Kid Pirates are pirates, and part of the game is plunder, attack, destruction. Law got lucky (or had the skill and resources) with destroying the factories at Punk Hazard (and destroying the island and navy resources), and unlucky this time. He didn't invite the attack, and was up against an emperor and his crew, but Smoker, Caesar, etc. didn't invite the attacks (whether justified or not) on their person, peoples and possessions either. I'm not saying the attacks carry equal moral weight (which, Oda does a very good job of asking us to question), but pointing out the world they all inhabit.

One of Law's hobbies is apparently wandering, and he was the wandering monk in Wano (komusō). I think part of this might be cos he has been seeking a purpose, and that it's also tied to a fear of putting roots down, because they continually get usurped, but maybe it's also just part of his nature.

I think that he's learnt by now just how resilient he is and that he can come back and also that he won't betray the faith—and recognises the love—that love has had in him (I'm in the minority there, but I think the novel supports me, and various statements Law makes elsehwere).

Anyway, did I answer anything? Probably not. And absolutely NO shade on the interpretations anyone else has, and I find if I get frustrated with fandom takes I usually just stay clear of that platform, that tag, that topic for a while! Law lives, don't worry. If he dies, I'm wrong, and I'll eat Law's hat once I wrest it from Blackbeard' grip. However, I do also cede the symbolism of him losing his hat. 3rd time is the charm/death knell?

PS: I don't really want him to join up with Croco and the boys, but Oda has a way of endearing me to any premise he's come up with, so basically, I'll wait and see what unfolds. Too, great metas on this topic over at @purplehairedwonder — for chapter 1081, but I also really liked their meta on chapter 1079. @ninhaoma-ya's chapter analyses are great too, and I enjoy @roydeezed 's write-ups. I don't read anything as closely as these guys do!

#one piece #trafalgar law #heart pirates #one piece meta #opmeta #chapter 1081 speculation #chapter 1081 spoilers #will of d #egghead arc #egghead arc spoilers #long post #chromameta #chromalami #chroma muesli

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