#also a thing that I can't stop doing because I legit can't write while people are talking

[the-stove-is-divorced]

Glad we both enjoy hating omg.

AND YES! Istg the second that video dropped I watched it eagerly, I am such a Batman fan, ugh, if you're ever interested in him specifically, I'd heavily recommend Batman Animated Series, yearnful sigh. I miss when he's written well. And thank you! I appreciate this, I'm bound for a rewatch of this video, hehehe.

NO FR? Istg one of my BIGGEST pet peeves for lazy ass shipping is when OTHER characters have to comment on the relationship, as if it is in any way, shape, or form been properly conveyed as obvious to the audience. IT'S SO LAZY RAHHHHHH. Like you might as while have everyone calling them a couple and them blushing and saying NUH UH, and then never proceed to actually write them interested in each other, outside of predictable, boring commentary, WHICH IS OUT OF LEFT FIELD.

Rex and Eve are legit sm more interesting since they're supposed to be friends for years, then got together, and went through the same shit together. I'd legit rather than them than this. Why did Rex cheat? Why not explore any of these dynamics? Did Kate feel sidelined so she believed Eve and Rex were on a break? How shaky was their relationship?

Get this man in ethics, philosophy, therapy, and pysche classes istg. He truly needs college istg, bro needs education and awarenes. I do not believe he thought he actually thought of Eve, out of anything but guilt, if at ALL. This show feels like it's ACTIVELY trying to lie to me and it's not even doing it WELL? HELLO?

The villain opening was so dumb to me istg. Cecil's stuff I get why, but when it went back to why and justified why Cecil did what he did I wanted to roll my eyes. Like. I can assume why. I don't really need to see why. they're useful, and there's an unspoken GoG absence, yes? I get why Mark is opposed, sure, whatever. Can we use this time for anything else? If this show had more episodes and took things s l o w e r for once, it'd be more fitting to me. Otherwise? I don't care. Speaking of Oliver, they way he's better at fighting than Mark, like this is embarrassing. Mark lock in. Mark do better. Mark why is a child showing you up. WHY ARE EXPLICITLY SHOWN MARK IMPROVING AND THEN HE ACTS JUST AS SUCCESSFUL AS S1? HELLO?

I thought the fight against the underground monsters would be a great opportunity for him to be particularly lethal, like Omni-Man and actually show off some proper skills, and introduce Darkwing + Robots helping heros escape while he's distracted. Still can have Mark freak out, but people get reminded whose son he is. Casually shake off blood. Which we get later on (I wish it was cooler so bad, it's still my fav but with a hint of begrudging admittance), but I say why can't we have more feral Mark scenes? Why stop at one battle parallel with Nolan? Have him particularly lethal with monsters since he'll freak out over people, thinking of Angstrom! Let him mimic Nolan's efficiency and like casually dive through a monster's brain. Him freaking out when someone he cares about gets hurt is so dull to me, also? Did the venom work from the centipede????

GoG's breakup was truly so funny because none of these mfs have been meaningfully explored enough to make me shaken up that they're breaking up, or what that even means because their hero ecosystem isn't explored either! What's the stakes here? I don't get to see more dynamics I never got to see? I'm truly heart broken. Oh no. Also Immortal stay annoying me because bro truly invited himself, told everybody to stfu and get out to a team he decided he'd join back up again, and you're so correct he'd make a mf grovel to get back? Immortal don't be insufferable challenge.

Nolan being endeared to her because she's not afraid makes too much sense, omg. He's so baffled he's enraptured, and Debbie truly thinks he is not special for being capable of killing him, people could die randomly, asshole, get in line. I'd love to see how they got together if the show had time, and the potential dynamics from a "take no shit" Debbie and still learning about humanity, and flirting, Nolan.

REAL ASF THO. Like Invincible could be SO far if it was good. Shows where I'm already invested after it outright refuses to live up to it's potential are like catnip to me, I cannot shut up about it. I'm infuriated and enraptured and endeared. Begging everyone to watch this show, no I don't think it's incredible, watch it all anyway.

Please write the mentor Cecil fic of my dreams, if I can get some oneshots done I'd love to write it myself if I can think of some scenes. There's something so interesting about Cecil becoming an incidental (perhaps Mark opens up and Cecil Realizes: Oh, I can Use This) and then intentional mentor figure, (or again Mark insisting he needs to earn Immortal's approval to prove he's not his Dad fr). Like? Thefun extra wound of betrayal if Cecil still uses the whole scream thing! Maybe Robot/Rudy does a scan of him and finds it, and Mark has to conceptualize what it's for, or it's outright used to against him. I believe in Mark being put through the emotional ringer. Dad issues AND Dad-like mentor issues. Stack 'em.

GDA not have any contingencies or hidden plans is so baffling, like aren't you a paranoid department dealing with something as unstable and dangerous as supes? LIKE NO MEDICAL CHECK UP IS INSANE. Purposeful ignorance is so funny omg, they're actively make it difficult for them to pursue education lmao. But the way I would think they'd make Mark + Oliver binge every morality debate, philosophy, even skeezy therapy where the therapist is just snitching to what their mental states actually are. Enforcing Mark to understand how to fight mentally, and not following the same colonizer BS mindset. GIVE ME PARANOID GDA THINGS. Like if Mark went to college, does GDA have agent pretend to be a student to follow him?

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[shuvva]

Tragic: Someone you loathe also does one of your little idiosyncratic quirks so now you want to light yourself on fire whenever you do that thing.

[therantingsage]

Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

[transmascaraa]

Hello AGAIN Nyx 💗💗 Idk if it's too much pression for u (i'm kinda worried idk) to make a request now that you just finished the others requests, but if it isn't too much i wanted to do a req :(

Bsd with a completaly nerd m!reader, like literally an "☝️🤓" irl, they are like a human wikipedia about something they like sm, principally about old games like gameboy or an unknow hq like ranfrem (idk if you got my point but yeah), and also they wears glasses and braces because yes?! I think it fits lol. Dazai, Ranpo, Nikolai Yosano and Kunikida pls?

Also i wanted to ask if you pretend to write to more fandoms if that's ok ^-^

-☠️🎀 anon

multiple characters headcanons!

"nerd."

characters: dazai, ranpo, nikolai, yosano, kunikida x gn!reader

author's note: motivation sparked up a single bit so i'm gonna write this(i hope everyone's doing well^^) and this was made with m!reader in mind but it's pretty much gn anyway

๑ Dazai

-this man would legit not leave you alone even for a second no matter what

-when you get into arguments with people about whatever he always tries to awkwardly drag you away like "okay that's enough more fighting--" with a smile on his face

-honestly just punch him in the face if he insists on something like "2+2=5" just to annoy you

-he likes how smart you are but likes taking advantage of it a lot too

-he has asked you stuff like "if we jumped down from this building together now, and the wind blew towards the east, where and how fast do you think we'd fall while hugging eachother?" in the middle of a date(the people who heard him got fucking concerned)

-if you answer him in any way he's gonna get super giddy and ask more questions

-and if you don't answer him he'll also ask more questions

-and yes he would love to try on your glasses everytime he sees you and yes he will show you his hand asking how many fingers you see

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Ranpo

-you two are the perfect pair and you can prove me wrong

-whatever you're into being smart about, trust me he's into it too

-proving people wrong TOGETHER is the perfect date idea

-if you two are arguing about some random philosophical question tho then it's very difficult because both of you have proof and you both won't accept defeat

-in the end you'll probably have to flip a coin

-he always says he's heads and you're tails because he always believes he's right

-and when the coin lands on tails aka you, he starts to whistle and look away like they do in cartoons

-loves your glasses and will buy new ones for you every now and then

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Nikolai

-literal hell with him but he acts innocent once he angers you

-you start telling him about how he can't appear out of nowhere and hug you because what it you're writing some important papers one day and you can easily fuck everything up

-but he'll just smirk at you after your whole scolding and say "but i'm too pretty to wait for you."

-if you argue with other people he'll agree with you and argue with the person as well even tho he has no idea what you're saying and sometimes he says dumb stuff like "yes it's exactly how [name] said because the grass is green!"

-makes you feel like you should kick him out of your house at times but then again he'll just teleport back into your bed under the covers and you'll see him there smiling at you "hi i was cold."

-hides your glasses on purpose and loves when you get mad at him for that

-you'll get them back at night only if you cuddle with him so fuck it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿ Yosano

-it annoys her sm sometimes but she just accepts it

-arguing with random people about random things is very annoying to her tho so she'll just get you away from that person hoping you'll stop being irritated

-she's gonna listen to all of your rants and everything you know a lot about certain subjects but she won't let that go on forever

-like if it's late at night she'll just tell you "goodnight." and turn her back away from you as a saying of "enough, go to sleep."

-she just agrees with you whenever you try to argue with her opinion or thought because she seriously has no time to listen to you prove everything to her

-and she'll keep your glasses clean, buying you new ones if anything happens to the other ones

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✯ Kunikida

-the BEEF you would have with this man unless you agreed to every single word he said

-like if a math equation has more possible correct answers you two are gonna argue for a few hours about why, how, and which answer is the truly correct one

-but when other people argue with you he's gonna start helping you in your argument at first but he WILL get you both away after it gets too repetitive and dumb

-he'll always listen to your rants and all ofc unless he spots something wrong with what statement you said and he'll correct you immediately because yes

-what i'm saying is that it's either super easy or super complicated between the two of you

-oh yeah and glasses are no issue for either of you so if he feels nice he'll buy you new ones

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay

i hope you liked it

damn i miss writing

| @mariaace <3

[inkabelledesigns]

It's incredibly frustrating and exhausting to have to question every piece of media that passes your screen as to whether or not it was made with generative ai. I don't like that I can't trust people not to use the literal theft machine for their projects. Especially when it comes to indies.

Like, so there's a new indie horror game called Zoochosis, right? I have no stakes in Zoochosis, a game about a zookeeper that's trying to stop the spread of a mutation with the animals isn't really my speed. But I'd heard of the people who made it before, and I wanted to see if they'd grown. The devs behind it are also responsible for another game, Sparky Marky, which used ai voices, much to my frustration. I tuned into a stream today where someone was playing it, and after hearing a little bit of the dialogue from Doc, I asked if they'd hired actual voice actors. The streamer seemed unconvinced that they had. So I immediately turned it off and decided to go hunting instead, because I needed to know if real people voiced in Zoochosis. I needed to know if this dev team learned anything from their last experience.

Thankfully, there are credits for the voice actors of this game, but they're very far down, which is a little disappointing. The common threads between them is that most of them have a Fiverr page, so I imagine they were hired through there, but I can't confirm that. Frankly I don't love Fiverr given they are also run rampant with generative ai right now, it's not inspiring confidence. But a number of these voice actors have full on websites for their voice work that seem pretty legit to me. In the case of Doc's voice, Tim Stephenson, most of his work is in commercial voice over, not character voice acting, so that explains some of what I was hearing. Commercial VO and character acting for games, shows, etc. are different skills with different needs. Just because someone can do one very well doesn't necessarily mean they're perfectly equipped to do both, especially when I didn't see credits for a voice director here. Without a director, you're recording remotely and going off of your instincts, and while many actors can have great instinct for performing, getting a performance that fits the vision of the project still requires some communication.

I think it's too soon to tell if these actors were actually paid for voice acting, of if these are ai voices synthesized from their likeness. The game is so new that it hasn't shown up on their imdb credits or personal website credits yet, and until it does, I'm gonna be a little skeptical. At the same time, there are many explanations for why the voice acting sounded off. The dev team behind Zoochosis has a lot of names that lead me to believe they may not be native English speakers (and I'm fairly certain I've heard that from others too). Writing and editing dialogue for a game in a language you don't speak is NOT EASY! That's a big ask, and if that's what's happening here, then I'd actually be very impressed by the quality of what I'd heard. It's just...frustrating. I expect this from big corporations and companies, but Zoochosis is an indie game. The folks over at Clapperheads are a small team making this thing real. And I'm troubled by the idea of an indie team, something built on passion and a desire for creative freedom, using generative ai. They're not the only ones to do so. Pastra, a YouTuber who loves indie horror, has started a series of videos that play into this found footage/news broadcast horror story, and for part of it, they used ai generated images of photographs of children to represent the victims of the monster. And they defended this by saying that it was better to use these generated images of children than actual real children. And I'm just sitting here confused by that. Because like, the model that that generative ai is trained on is using stolen images of real children to make those fake photos. So not only does it fall under using a child's image without consent, but you don't even know what children you've stolen the visage from. That is not a good look. The same goes for Indigo Park. AI was used for the opening footage of Issac Indigo introducing the park, and that's part of why his facial movements are so janky. Mason from UniqueGeese at least apologized and said he'd do better next time, but like...the chapter 1 revamp came out and that wasn't changed.

It's small stuff and big stuff, but either way, it's not okay. Until generative ai is trained only on data that is given to its developers consensually, it is not a viable tool for creation. It's not ready to be tested until the ethics part is worked out, and even then, I don't think I'd ever want to touch it. Like I get it, game development is hard, and in the indie scene, it's hard to make it all come together. But also, I expect a project built on passion to at least TRY to be creative in its solutions, and for the people making it to know better than to use stolen content. I expect better. Maybe I'm wrong for expecting better. But I expect better.

I'm just...disappointed. It makes me feel like I can't touch anything in modern media. Like I may as well go back and only play games, watch shows/movies, and explore stories made before 2023. At least then I can trust that it was probably done without the use of the theft machine. That's such a hopeless thing, giving up on modern art and all the potential it comes with. I don't want to give up on art. I don't want to give up on people telling meaningful stories in modern times. Please, humans, keep making art with your own two hands. Please give me something to be hopeful for.

[fridgrave2-0]

so far I wanna share my opinion about the game since I played it for 30 hours or so. starting with cons bc there's much less of them than pros

cons:

lockpicking. I was speedrunning all the locks in the first game with any skill level, and as much as it feels "unrealistic", it's still a matter of understanding the mechanics. many players got issues with it while others did great, so it was kinda fair. now the lockpicking is so hard with those shaking hands that opening a plot related hard lock took me AN HOUR and dozen reloads since all my lockpicks were breaking like they were made of paper — and I couldn't leave to work on the skill bc of the quest

horses. they are just slow and awful to control. in kcd1 I could ride from sasau to ratay with pebbles stopping once to let her rest, but now I need to stop every minute to go from the village to trosky castle. annoying af

this game makes me so stressed for the characters that I probably have grey hair by now (not a con actually, it's fun after finishing the quest, but during these i cry like a bitch)

changing block from q to right mouse button. i played kcd1 before the sequel a lot, and many other people probably did that as well, so the need to relearn that complicated combat system is annoying. also I'm fucking tired of pressing x to mount the horse like it was in kcd1 and opening it's stat window. even after 30h of the game I still get confused by it

it depends on the person, but I don't like the interface AT ALL. its just too bright in some places and dull in others so I literally can't see the text sometimes. it just lost the cool drawn vibe and many details are in 3d now (henry poses are fun tho)

the speeck checks feel to high, but I can admit it may be my skill issue

and now the pros!!:

quests!! the first game was really interesting as it is, but kcd2 has insane writing and I just miss how the time passes. the main story (the only thing I play for now bc I speedrun hansry romance) is so intense that I feel any death will be permanent like irl. the plot twists are fun, characters make me love them or hate their guts with nothing in between (spoiler I killed everyone for semine family bc I loved these to grandpas and turned out I was right about it yay!! and so was when the chamberlain asshole died, I cheered so hard). some moments made me go "hey I know [character-name] will be later, they can't die here... can they???😟😟)

kuttenberg. it's just gorgeous, nothing else to say. haven't seen much of it yet, but it's amazing and my wish to visit czech got even stronger

hans. the best thing for me in this game by far. I would give up anything and enjoy just talking to him for 200 hours, keeping him safe and sound. all the scenes with him make me either feel happy af or literally sobbing from stress because that idiot gets in dangerous situations way too much for my sanity (also third option is being angry like hell at him in the beginning of the game bc he acts like the biggest asshole, but I love him anyway). every reunion with him feels like home and I make henry tear bohemia apart just to save hans from everything (just as it should be). and the option to legit romance him feels like the most right thing to do because he loves henry, henry loves him, and that's it

spoiler!! the option to defenestrate istvan. the most czech way to kill someone, and it's one of the main villains! I was very satisfied

radzig is hot af

literally everything else what I didn't mention. this game is fucking amazing and in most of things are a huge upgrade

HANSRY IS CANON BABY

feel free to share your opinion unless it's bigotry ⚔️💖

[zmediaoutlet]

Survey results time.

At time of downloading the data we got just over 300 responses, which is not bad for a survey that was long and complicated to take! I'm sure my shamelessness helped. Being a survey for a specific crowd, we also didn't get anyone (as far as I could tell) taking the survey in bad faith, which is a legit surprise. Special shout-out to the several people who, when asked to write literally anything to say they understood what was going on, wrote "literally anything"; additional shout-out to the person who wrote "penus and hole" (sic). You get it, anonymous person.

I'm going to share the top results for the questions here, but I'll also include the raw data as a sheet at the end in case anyone wants to actually go through it with a fine-tooth comb. This is not a survey where cute pie charts or graphs would be useful or readable, so get ready for some sweet-ass numbers:

Story Genre

Unsurprisingly, our leaderboard for most favorite story genre in the 'Anytime!' category is as follows:

Hurt/comfort (153 votes)

Angst (142 votes)

PWP (139 votes)

We just like the guys to get the shit beaten out of them, angstily, and then they can feel better by jerking off about it. The ideal evening.

The big loser in genre, with 34 buds flat out saying "not for me", was Dark!fic. That said, Dark!fic also got 112 votes (third highest) for "has to be JUST right," so we can probably take from there that while as a group we don't hate dark content, we have pretty strict definitions for a) what counts as dark, and b) what kind of dark we're willing to take.

Gencest/gen was arguably the most 'eh, idk?' of the genres, with respectable showings in every category from Anytime to No; most people don't hate it, but people aren't really seeking it out either. It's definitely There.

Story Setting

The winner of most 'Anytime!' votes for story setting is close to my heart; the podium is:

Bunker era (142 votes)

Canon-close, codas, etc (129 votes)

Pre-series/weechesters (126 votes)

It feels good to know that canon is on our side. This may help explain why various alternate universe settings didn't do so hot with the respondents -- the least fave according to this survey is an age!swap AU, followed by a raised apart!AU. Writers who are making Sam the big brother who lives in Cleveland while baby Dean lives in Seattle, you keep living your truth, but readers are rearing back.

That being said, while Canon Divergence isn't an overall winner, it has a full 149 votes in the 'Dig it' category; so, while we may generally prefer canon, we're willing to be led on a garden path away from it. We just want canon to be within shouting distance, at least.

Canonical Character Variants

Here's where the survey gets more complex. I've always been interested in how and why people are fandoming about things, and simple 'yes/no' surveys rarely dig into that meat. The point of the superego/ego/id separation is to really interrogate -- hey, do you like to read about (for example) soulless!Sam because you find it interesting on a high-minded level, or because your heart-strings are getting tugged even if you think it's kinda dumb, or just because it makes you so hornt-up you can't think straight? All are valid, and all are possible simultaneously, but it's interesting to prod at to see how the interest is working. You might also just be like, eh, it's fine, or GOD, STOP, and that's fine too. So, with all that said:

Superego winners:

demon powers!Sam (202 votes)

soulless!Sam (177 votes)

blood addict!Sam (160 votes)

Y'all like to really brain about how Sam is fucked up. I get it.

Ego winners:

Trials of Hell!Sam (186 votes)

blood addict!Sam (180 votes)

demon powers!Sam (161 votes)

Still all Sam, and no surprise that his saintly pale sleeplessness is winning the heartstrings battle.

Id winners:

demon!Dean (205 votes)

demon powers!Sam (175 votes)

blood addict!Sam (165 votes)

Again, no surprise: fandom girlies (gn) love their bad boys, lol. Soulless snuck in at #4 here with 163, presumably because working out still wearing a belt was juuuust dorky enough to kick him off the podium; #5 was Smith & Wesson at 162, probably because if they'd been left in that AU for ten more minutes they would have been fucking over the top of Dean Smith's desk. Glad we're all on the same page, there.

The nopes here were an interesting mix. In the full-on No Thank You category we had Michael!Dean and Gadreel!Sam (with 52 and 53 votes respectively) -- it would be interesting to know if that was due to dread of the storyline specifically, or just how No Bad Wrong it felt to have it happening. These two also led the 'meh' category, although they were joined on the podium of bad by Endverse!Dean (128 Meh votes), which frankly shocked me. Y'all aren't into his thigh holster? C'mon now. Sure, he murders his friends without compunction, but -- thigh holster!

Story Tropes

These ones were fascinatingly all over the place, which is exactly why I wanted to do this. Going to just run down the S/E/I podiums real quick, then 'Hard sell', then No --

Superego winners:

Outsider!POV (211)

Someone Finds Out (191)

Mental health issues (190)

Ego winners:

Mutual pining (252)

First time (242) AND Sick/injured (242)

First time in a long time (235)

Id winners:

Jealousy/possessiveness (224)

First time (218)

First time in a long time (180)

Now, part of what's interesting about these is how they fall off in other categories. Outsider POV wins handily at Superego with 211, but then drops all the way down to 92 votes at Id -- which isn't nothing, but clearly it's preferred to have a heckin' think about how other people view the incest relationship, rather than thinking it's just So Hot that people might. Similarly, while people do think it's so so hot for one brother or the other (or both!) to be possessive at 224 votes, when it comes to the superego that drops right down to 134 votes, presumably as the brain wakes up and goes RED FLAG!

Entering the land of no thank you, we shall have two anti-podiums:

Real hard sell:

Infidelity (127)

magic/powers!Dean (125)

Unrequited/no relationship upgrade (110) AND "Carver Edlund" fandom

This is a much more mixed bag. Infidelity and Unrequited are no surprise here, because it Feels Bad, Man; magic!Dean also not really a surprise, given that most of our respondents prefer being closer to canon, and Dean is very much our mundane buddy in the show as presented. (A delightful buddy, but a distinctly nonmagical one.) Carver Edlund fandom makes me laugh mostly because it's such a bananas thing to exist in the show. Sam and Dean reading big bang fics about each other? Collectively we just... don't know what to do with that. Weird.

Squick/No/Maybe one exception:

Permanent character death (140)

Infidelity (108)

Eating disorders (102)

Again, no surprise in the anti-winners of 1 or 2 here, but number 3 surprised me, personally. ED fic used to be a pretty big wedge of common tropes that people would seek out. Perhaps it's gotten less popular over the years? Or perhaps just that the people who like it REALLY like it and so chat about it out loud, while those who don't quietly bury it in sand, lo as a cat does with their leavings.

Most extreme delta in 'general interest' (whether that be S,E, or I) to 'ehh' (whether that be Hard Sell or Squick) is first time. Y'all loooove your first time.

Sexy Tropes, Vol. 1

This is where I really wanted to know if people could pull apart their interests between brain and heart and guts. Hopefully people were honest, as requested. Some of them we know are slight liar answers, because the hits on AO3 tell a story that can't be refuted -- nevertheless, here's what people were willing to admit to.

Bulletproof kink/will read any version:

Bedsharing (158)

Incest kink (139)

Size kink (133)

your friendly neighborhood survey creator is jumping up and down going 'wooo' that size kink made the podium. also I hope everyone understood that incest kink meant, like, indulging in the incest of it all via 'oh you're so totes my brother and i want to suck your dingle for that reason specifically', but I realize that could've been clearer.

Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:

shameless bottom!Dean stuff (151)

switching (147)

voyeurism (138)

the first one here genuinely surprises me considering what I see getting written most often; is this a case of just not being in the right venn diagrams, or the 'easy sell' just not matching up with what people are being sold? Curiouser and curiouser.

Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:

bad/awkward sex (120)

phone sex (114)

in [drug/alcohol] veritas (110)

edging into awkward town in a few ways here: we don't love these, but we can see how it'd be fun. or not fun, in the case of bad sex.

Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:

always-another-gender!AU (84)

multiple Sams or Deans (73)

genderswap (magic) (72)

so, in general, we prefer to keep the penises around and intact, but just one Sam penis and one Dean penis, please. Here, I'm interested that the volume is much lower than in the top category: maxing out at 84 hard sells compared to 158 bulletproof options means that we're willing to give more of these tropes a chance, even if they're not our faves. How accepting we are!

Squick/no/maybe one exception:

always-another-gender!AU (83)

A/B/O elements (65)

multiple Sams or Deans (51)

strong overlap with the hard sell; and, keeping in mind that people were able to choose multiple options, it's possible that some of those were identical votes. Again, please keep the penises straightforward and only two at a time. A/B/O is interesting here, especially given what we know of how well it does on AO3; while it's a big squick for a lot of people, it also has decently high votes in bulletproof/easy, averaging 82 votes. Mixed bag!

Sexy Tropes Vol. 2, Electric Boogaloo

Bulletproof kink/will read any version:

Possessive/claiming sex (129)

Marking (hickeys/bruising) (116)

Hair pulling (103)

Let's glance back up at the Id winners in the story tropes above, hmm quietly to ourselves, and move on.

Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:

Marking (hickeys/bruising) (135)

Hair pulling (130)

Possessive/claiming sex (121)

Well, that's boring. So let's expand so as not to be repetitive:

4. Dub-con (116) 5. Dom/sub (113) AND Underage (113) 6. Knifeplay (107)

There we go. Pretty easy to put all of those into one fic, too.

Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:

Blindfolds (128)

Painplay (116)

Shibari/rope play (112)

We're starting to lose interest as accessories come into play. Interesting to compare D/s and its relative success against painplay -- so, tell him what to do, but don't hit him while you're doing it. Fair enough.

Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:

Fucking machines (94)

Vore (80)

Mommy!kink (77)

Entertaining mix here, haha. General feasibility may be rearing its head here. (Also, for my own entertainment: daddy!kink got 67 Hard Sell votes. People generally prefer to keep it as horizontal incest, not vertical incest.)

Squick/no/maybe one exception:

Feederism (164)

Vore (161)

Extreme underage (157)

No surprises here, although some fans of the nibbly variety of wincest may be disappointed by vore's poor placement. Note also that 'extreme' is in the eye of the beholder; we'll leave aside value judgments, as we have for the whole survey, and note that people are not indulging in a version of underage they find to be personally past the line, or at least are not admitting to that.

At a glance, the closest matchup between bulletproof for some and a squick to others is bloodplay, with just 1 vote separating the two categories: 44 bulletproof, 43 squick. Next time someone tries to tell you that 'everyone' likes or doesn't like something, please take it with an entire shaker full of salt.

Dynamic & Position Preferences

I tried to encourage people not to think too hard about this one and just answer on instinct. Who knows if that worked. But here are some overview takes:

Toppy/dominant: Sam takes the lead here, with 69% of respondents being in the 'Love it!' category. Nice. (217 votes)

Dom Dean earned a respectable 52% of 'Love it!' votes (163).

However, I was also interested to check out the inverse --

subby!Sam: 44 'Very no thank' votes (13%) subby!Dean: 27 'Very no thank' votes (8%)

It's interesting to leap way back up and compare that against 'shameless bottom!Dean stuff' doing so well in the rated E categories. Makes you ponder.

Actual sex position: Frequently switching takes the win here, with 61% of the vote (194 votes). Sam always topping edges out if people must choose, with 144 votes; Dean always topping is our lowest choice, with 112.

Service!topping: this is a fairly niche fic type, but it does still exist -- I guess in a world of bottoms someone's got to actually get up and do something, and it is hilariously an almost perfectly even split:

service!top Sam: 50.17% (151 votes) service!top Dean: 51.50% (155 votes)

A healthy percentage of people said they didn't care about these questions either way, and more power to them. However, they were wildly outvoted by those who did.

Multishipping Time

Our final categories are when other people get their grubby hands on Sam or Dean, either canonically(ish) or in our fandom activities.

Canonical relationships for Sam

Jess wins, quelle surprise. :) 161 people Dug It and who can blame them.

Amelia LOSES, shocking no one: 112 people said Fuck That.

Eileen was definitely a mixed bag; her results, in order, were: Meh: 92; Fuck that: 76; Worse than meh: 66; Dug it: 44.

Canonical(ish) relationships for Dean

Note here: it was too unbalanced if we only went with people Dean officially dated. However, the show leaned hard into a few unrequited male relationships for him, which we included here, and no one sent me hate about it so I guess that was fine.

Benny wins the Love It! category with 129 votes, barely edging out Cassie at 122. Benny is best boy, so that fits.

Cas loses with a full 99 Fuck That votes, which is probably what we'd expect from a wincest survey. That said, he also got 93 Dug It votes, so it's a pretty balanced showing.

Poor Lisa sits firmly at Meh with 148 votes. It's not that we hate you, Lisa; we just don't really know what to do with you. Which is pretty much how the relationship went in the show.

Shipping Sam like FedEx

We returned to the S/E/I model for shipping as we did for tropes, because it means something very different to go 'oh sure, I can see how that would be interesting' vs saying 'I want them to fuck rawnasty and I don't care why they're doing it.' Apologies if I left out your favorite side-ship but, shit, there's only so much time in the day.

So, we return to the podiums:

Superego:

Ruby (132)

Rowena (121)

Cas (102)

Ego:

Rowena (121)

Cas (106)

Ruby (90)

Id:

Ruby (125)

John (121)

Rowena (118)

So that was going on sedately until Dad came in like a hammer. Fascinating. On the other hand:

No:

Lisa (234)

Donna (222)

Claire (219)

Interesting to me that these three are ladies that Sam theoretically could have got up in but people are not into it, regardless. This is slightly different to Dean's 'no' category -- spoilers for three inches of screen space!

Dean, Shipped by UPS

Superego:

John (129)

Benny (115)

Lisa (99)

Ego:

Benny (134)

John (116)

Lisa (102)

Id:

John (147)

Benny (128)

Crowley (114)

Well. That tells a slightly different story, ahem. Enjoy the various tropes that will be applied, Dean! And then we get:

No:

Amelia (245)

Kevin (223)

Gabriel (217)

Comparing to the Sam 'no' above -- these three are slightly more 'traditional' Sam ships, though the wincest shippers are nevertheless not into them for Sam, either. Dean literally never spoke to or saw Amelia on screen, so it'd be a determined shipper who'd make that happen. Not undoable, though!

Conclusion

Syke: there isn't one to be made. This really shows how diverse the taste is in the wincest community, or at least in the wincest community that a) happened to see this survey over the last five days and b) bothered to take it. This particular group leans slightly toward e.g. toppy Sam, or slightly toward switching, but when you look at raw numbers what you see is that at least one person LOVES every single one of these things, and at least one person fucking HATES every single one of these things, and so -- so what? Write what you want. If you see a niche of something that you love where you feel like not enough people are writing or reading, try to fill it. If you're worried "no one" will like it, well -- you're wrong. Someone will. It just needs to get seen by the right people.

That's where fandom comes in, to spread the love even if something isn't bulletproof for us -- reblogging a post to say, 'hey, my mutual made this thing, look at it!' What a joy it'd be if someone saw it and loved it to absolute shattering bits, and then found their little bulletproof community, and happiness was made. What's the point, if we're not making each other happy.

Thanks for participating if you did, and reading all this if you did. Here's a link to a google sheet (read only) with all the tables of raw data if you're interested. I'll post some of the more entertaining fill-in answers later.

s&d shipping survey results: November 1, 2023 - Google Sheets

[barenecessiteas]

Final Random Sinclair Headcanons Because I Can't Get Them Out Of My Head

Hello my darlings. We've reached the final part of my random headcanons. There's only one person left - you know him, you love him, it's adorable waxy boi Vincent! Again, these are all just random thoughts I had, I don't really write on here much, but these just kept coming to me so I figured I may as well share em. Hope you enjoy!

Vincent Sinclair

If you didn't happen to see this on my last post, I believe Vincent is the younger twin and Bo is the older one. Only apart by seconds for obvious reason, but Bo was technically born first

Even after the separation surgery, baby Vincent had a hard time sleeping unless Bo was with him. Having his literal other half suddenly not be attached anymore took a lot of adjustment for him

He also exclusively sleeps on his right side, or at least with the right side of his face against the pillow. Kinda like a subconscious need to feel something against the skin there since Bo wasn't attached to him anymore

Vincent is actually able to talk, he's just selectively mute. This comes from the abuse he witnessed on Bo by their parents

I kinda touched on this last time, but restraining Bo to the chair every time he "misbehaved" or threw a tantrum really just taught the kids that it wasn't acceptable to express their emotions. So even tho Vincent never actually experienced the same punishment, it scared him to watch that happen to his brother

That's why, in the introduction to the film, you see little Vincent seemingly just ignore Bo while he's strapped into the chair, just quietly eating his cereal and swinging his feet

This is NOT because he didn't care about his brother. He was just scared of getting the same treatment that Bo did. He had the idea that if he behaved in front of his parents, he'd be able to sneak off to comfort Bo later

We all see in the film how he's immediately concerned for Bo when he notices the arrow in his chest. He hates seeing either of his brothers hurt, and he just started feeling more comfortable openly expressing that after their parents were gone

So yes, he can talk, but usually it's not unless he absolutely has to. His voice is often harsh and raspy because of this, but it's still there

I don't see Vincent as the meek, timid, and abused twin like a lot of people do. Bo isn't just his brother, he's Vincent's TWIN brother. He's literally been dealing with Bo since they were in the womb

Vincent is just calmer by nature and it's much harder to actually get him angry. He's learned that Bo says a bunch of shit he doesn't mean when he's angry and it's usually best to just let him cool off on his own. Vincent doesn't take it personally

This doesn't mean they don't fight. It happened more when they were kids, but as fully grown adult men Vincent rarely ever gets so pissed off he actually fights with Bo

I think most people agree on this next part but I'm gonna say it anyway - Vincent started growing his hair out so that he'd have something to hide his face with if he ever needed to take off the mask

Even with that in mind, he's not afraid to throw hands if Bo really manages to piss him off 💀

Like they have gotten into legit brawls and fist fights as children if they got on each other's nerves

He does genuinely like the look of it long now, but it started mostly as a security blanket type thing

Speaking of his hair, his is naturally darker than Bo's, he doesn't dye it or anything. We see in pictures that they were blonde as young kids and their hair got darker as they grew older. Bo's hair just stopped darkening at the dark brown we see him with. Vincent's hair just kept on getting darker

He actually does take pretty good care of his hair. He's not super concerned about it, but he doesn't want it to be a rat's nest either. He makes sure to keep it brushed, washes it regularly, and he's generally good at keeping wax out of it

Vincent wasn't really bullied as much for his mask as most people think he was. The Sinclairs were basically local celebrities, so everyone in town knew who they were. Their birth and separation surgery were announced in the paper too, so everyone kinda knew it was from that

What really bothered him was the pity from other people. Kids could be assholes about it every now and then, sure, but hearing adults whisper about it was what he'd really hate

He got into wax kinda by accident. It was a day while Trudy was working on a new mask for him, he was sitting around watching her. She gave him some extra wax she had lying around to play with

Saying stuff like "poor boy" or "shame he didn't turn out as good looking as his brother" when they thought he wasn't listening. That's what really got to him

Vincent also isn't really shy, he's just introverted. He found that hearing people talk about him and feeling sorry for him behind his back exhausted him, so he really just prefers the company of his family

Trudy and Victor often told the boys old mythology stories at bedtime, so Vincent decided he wanted to make what he thought the monsters and creatures in the stories looked like

Since it was his first time using wax, it was far from perfect, but he'd spent so long watching his mom work on her art that he had an idea of some of the technique

He actually used a spoon to shape the wax for most of it lol

Even for such a young kid, he definitely showed promise. That's when Trudy really started to take him under her wing. She was delighted to be able to bond with one of her boys like that

Vincent always felt a little guilty for having a closer relationship with Trudy because of how she and Victor would treat Bo (and how they'd pay much less attention to Lester). He still loved his parents, but it definitely added a huge guilt complex

That's why he's so concerned about always being there for Bo and Lester to help take care of them. He just tends to let Bo take the initiative in taking care of him and Lester because he knows it makes Bo feel better

Just like Bo, he was taught to play the piano growing up. He's pretty good at it, but he never had the same interest in it that Bo did. He enjoyed listening to music more than playing it

Vincent has a very broad taste in music, he listens to a lot of different genres. Classical music is pretty much exclusively for when he's sculpting or making any form of art in general

It's a habit he picked up from his mother. He finds it less distracting so it helps him concentrate more

Like Bo, he was also very good at sports growing up. Really all of the boys were (Bo was just the most involved in it so he got better than his brothers eventually). He's actually surprisingly active

He tries to take frequent breaks when working with wax, even if it's just for a tiny bit. If he doesn't, his muscles get very sore, making it hard for him to work later on

However, when I say he tries I really mean that he only remembers to take breaks with smaller projects. Bo and Lester (or even Jonesy) usually have to remind him to step away for a bit

Speaking of Jonesy, she is in fact Vincent's dog. Yeah, she's the family dog too, but Vincent is the one who found her and raised her

He was going for a walk in the woods and found Jonesy abandoned as a puppy. Even though she was young she was still much smaller than she should have been. Her mother and litter mates were nowhere to be found

So Vincent gently picks her up and carries her home in the pocket of his hoodie. He stays up all night feeding her and watching over her to make sure she recovers physically

Bo was surprisingly chill with Vincent keeping the puppy. As long as Vincent was responsible for taking care of her, he didn't mind having a dog around

Lester lost his shit when he found out Vincent took in a puppy (in a good way, of course)

Vincent basically treats her like his baby (we stan a girl dad) and takes VERY good care of her. She has a great diet, has constant play sessions, and is overall very well cared for

It bothers him when Lester sneaks her some roadkill meat because he's always scared about Jonesy potentially getting sick

Jonesy also sleeps in Vincent's bed with him and has seen his face more than his actual brothers have. She loves to give him kisses on the scarred side of his face and it makes him melt

When Bo first came up with the idea of killing people to use as a base for Vincent's wax sculptures, he was hesitant. Sure, he knew killing people was wrong, but he was more worried about the danger it could place his brothers in

But once he actually used the first victim as a live "model" of sorts, he was convinced that this was the perfect way to finish his mother's dream. It didn't take him a lot of convincing

His collection of knives are all gifts from Bo and Lester. They'd often either buy them or find them on victims before cleaning them up to give them to vincent

The dual dragon blades are his favorites because it was a combined present from Bo and Lester for Christmas

He has much more morbid curiosity in killing because of his father's work. He found anatomy very interesting (and not to mention useful when it came to sculpting people), so he often takes pictures or videos to use as references when painting or sketching

Alright, we've now reached the end of my insanity. I hope you all enjoyed my silly little writing spree. I may or may not write more Headcanons in the future, idk. We'll see if inspiration ends up striking me lol. But for now, we've finished the Sinclairs. Thanks for reading, my lovelies, and I hope you all have a wonderful day 😘💕

[kaija-rayne-author]

OMG I'm laughing so hard at someone calling me names because I dared post that I had to unfollow people who were toxicly positive about Veilguard and being twats about it to others.

Again, I'm truly happy for you if you liked it. I didn't. You shockingly don't have to be an asshole to others about it. Nor do you need to shit on something other people loved simply because checks notes, some stranger on the internet said that they didn't want to follow people being toxically positive about something you liked. Oooookay then. 🤣

It's a video game. A piece of entertainment. It's fiction.

If you get so worked up over someone else's (a strangers!) opinion that you're slinging ad hominem attacks, maaaaaybe it's time to I dunno, do literally anything else?

Especially trying to get any response but laughter or blocking out of someone like me who has lived through so much that if I talk about even a fraction of it, people go all owl eyed and universally ask in a quiet, shocked tone 'how are you even alive?'

Legit can't stop laughing. 🤣

Update

So, I freely admit that I'm in a bad mood and broke my rule about feeding the trolls. I shall do my due internet denizen duty and block/report.

In all responsibility, while laughing at a troll can be a good tool, it risks escalation, and it's really better to simply block and report. They get their jollies by making people feel horrible. (I wasn’t laughing out of trying to feed a troll BTW. They legitimately shocked me into laughing. I wasn't in a good enough mood to hide my reaction.)

They've either deleted or hidden their responses to me. It's just a crying shame that screenshots are forever. Y'all might want to preemptively block. Up to you.

If they hadn’t been so utterly awful, I'd probably have let it slide. But this behavior is unacceptable in a society.

Transcript since it won't fit in alt text.

Lilithfairen

So you're just a raging asshole who can't stand people enjoying a game you didn't. You should let people know that when you follow them so anyone with common sense can block you the moment they see you around.

Masked responder

That's not what OP said lmao

Me

Oh, honey. You're precious (laugh emoji) Go try to gaslight and sea lion someone else. In your vast amounts of time where you're not being a dick to a stranger, perhaps you should consider brushing up on that 'reading comprehension' thing. I gather it's not your highest skill. Maybe put a few skill points in that.

Me replying to masked responder

Right? (Laugh emoji) Just posting on my own wall, about a Fandom problem that they very clearly demonstrated an excellent example of, and *I'm* the asshole. I'm laughing so fucking hard I'm almost crying.

lilithfairen

Oh, not gaslighting anyone. Because a quick check tells me you're a BG3 stan, which highlights why you don't like Veilguard and the people who enjoy it. Veilguard doesn't write queer people as sexual predator. Veilguard doesn't get off on victimizing non-white people or writing them as innately evil and savage. Veilguard doesn't write a storyline where a goddess is a prop to paint a white guy as awesome and smart and then written as a horrible bitch herself. You're a garbage shitstain of a person who can't stand Veilguard not being a game written for straight white manbaby sensibilities, because you think that's what good fiction is.

Me. Oh, do please keep responding (laugh emoji) you're amusing me and exposing your ignorance nicely. Have you considered therapy? It might help with that whole ... hatred of everyone who isn't me... thing, you have going on. I actually can't stop laughing at the loads of shit you're shoveling. I hope you're getting a decent wage for that. Shoveling shit is hard work.

I did say I wasn't in a good mood.

Anyway... because I'm me... pretty sure a lot of people who play Dragon Age games also play BG3. And liked both. It's not an either or. People can shockingly like both! While accepting that there's no such thing as a perfect game/book/movie/show/anything.

I know several people I'm on good terms with who absolutely loved Veilguard. I didn't, but it's not their problem. I don't make it their problem.

Veilguard doesn't write queer people well. Period. (I'm a queer AF author and editor.)

"Doesn't get off on victimizing non-white people or writing them as innately evil and savage." *blinks*. 'Who do we put across from Harding for a death choice. "Assan."' -John Epler (Not the whole Black man attached to the bloody griffin. The griffin.) That doesn't even get into what having the only Black male companion being part of that choice in the first place says. (Pssst. It's not good.)

Um... the Qunari have long been PoC coded and what they did to the Qunari in Veilguard is nothing short of writing them as innately evil and savage. Seriously? Truly shocked by that one. Taash's first romance scene is really problematic, too.

"A storyline where a goddess is a prop to paint a white guy as awesome?" Did they even play BG3? I've played it 5x and have no idea what they're on about there. And Vlakkith has always been a bitch. (I've been playing D&D since 2E. Is it problematic? Fuck yes.) I guess female and woman presumed people aren't allowed to be evil. Who knew?

Snorts. I'm not white, not a man, definitely not straight, and good fiction is my actual job.

As far as the ad hominem attacks. (Sad head shake) Dirthara-ma, da'len.

All that in response to this post of mine.

[serenedash]

Hello!! I’m writing a Foreteller fic, and I wanted the opinions of the people I consider to be the Holders Of Arcane Knowledge- how do you think Luxu reacts with his old comrades once they reunite?

Is he a weathered stone, the person he used to be as Luxu worn away into the cynic who is Xigbar? Do they have to learn how to deal with their little brother anew?

Or is he a pearl within a clam, the facade that is Xigbar pried away to reveal Luxu, the child who never got to grow up? Does he revert to his old behaviors and mannerisms, depending on Ira and Ava because he never really had the chance to grow out of that sixteen-year-old boy?

Or is it a secret third thing??? I would love to hear your thoughts!!

first, absolutely honored to be called a holder of arcane knowledge thank you I pride myself in my masters degree in foretellers, this turned into a long ass Luxu personality/character analysis oops! Read more because this one really got me in the zone lol

tl;dr, I think it's the first option you said due to his experiences but he really wants things to be how they were, but it can't be, too much has happened. I can see him and the others trying to act like how they were pre-khux though but it'll be awkward I think since Luxu has given up everything, including himself, for MoM's plans

Anyway love your descriptions here fr, Luxu obviously is a bit of a wild card character, we see him in multiple forms pretending to be different people so the question really is what is he really like? It's interesting to go back and look at Luxu within khux, all of the foretellers are so stern/serious usually especially with MoM but Luxu is the only one who has legit banter with MoM and can get snarky with him (even if MoM always controls the conversation in the end) and he does the same with Darkness in the finale. I used to think that Luxu's whole Xigbar persona deal was him imitating MoM in a way but ngl I now think that that's more of how he just is (albeit probably very exaggerated because I think Luxu wants people to underestimate him as just Some Fucking Guy while he's Xigbar, I mean how often do people laugh when they first meet him in kh2 because he's just straight up a Silly Dude next to dramatic ass Xemnas and Saix). Honestly I would kill to see original Braig just to compare him to Luxu because at this point I think so much time has passed in present day kh and so much shit has gotten fucked up that I don't think anyone has ever noticed that Braig might act differently now, like I totally believe Luxu doesn't care to act like original Braig as much as he would've cared about acting like Bragi in khdr yknow,

Anyway, all this to say that I think if Luxu was going to act like how he really is, it wouldn't be too far off from Xigbar. I ALSO think however, that it would be a lot more subdued and mature. When you go back and watch the kh3 epilogue he definitely still acts like Xigbar but he speaks pretty calmly, the theatrics aren't there. It's such a startling difference honestly and I think that's all the years wearing down on him at this point. I think Luxu is far beyond the point of acting like "the child that never got to grow up," a character going through what he has absolutely has the potential to act that way but for him I don't see it. Despite all the silliness and sass we see from him in khux, I also want to bring up the scene where Ava confronts him because the vibe feels similar to the kh3 epilogue imo. Like yes he starts out kinda silly just saying he was told to watch over and over again but he does get to explaining the truth and I'm sure he was very blunt with it like how he was blunt with Brain in the finale. He can be serious when he needs to, I think he was very much forced to be and I interpret him receiving his role from MoM as the loss of his childhood so from that point on that teenager never existed anymore. Luxu takes his role seriously tbh and stops the theatrics (or what may be seen as immature behavior) when he needs to.

And when the others finally return, I think Luxu really wants to just lay the whole act to rest. In his secret reports it's really clear to me how desperate he is to see everyone again and just how worn down he is, literally he must be like the world's most tired guy and I don't blame him. In the epilogue he seems so relieved imo but the difference between him and the others is a lot, to put it lightly. The others have basically been plucked from the past, exactly the same as they were, but Luxu has untold years of experience and fighting under his belt. He wants things to be how they were but they never will be; he may still be Luxu but the years have not been kind to him. I'm sure Luxu had a lot of expectations for this reunion and it didn't play out like how he wanted it to; the others are most likely still in the mindset of the keyblade war so tensions are probably high. A moment I think about a lot is when Gula and Aced start yelling at him and it's like there's a wall that goes up between Luxu and the others then, I feel like he acts more like Xigbar throughout the rest of the scene. I'm sure moving forward we'll see Luxu go between his regular Xigbar persona and his actual more subdued self depending on who he's talking to. I really do hope we get to him just be himself tho, and I'm sure we will but it'll just make the difference between himself and the others all the clearer. I can totally see Luxu talking with like Invi or Ira about what's happened, he seems to really want to prove that he's still himself. I think he'd try to act like how he was as an apprentice/young master but that's just not who he is anymore

[lover-of-mine]

I have realized what is making my head explode when a BT post accidentally goes through my tags!!!! They are completely ignoring Buck is bi. They are acting like my aunt in the early 2000s. I may not have been fond of all the LUs but they were valid relationships. If Taylor had not fucked up who knows where that relationship would have gone. I mean clearly nowhere once Eddie was out because once Eddie broke up with him he spiraled and kissed Lucy. But they are still valid relationships and at this point in time I don't see how Tommy is better than any of them. To be honest he has the worst traits of Abby and Taylor but the screen time of Ally. So frustrating.

Well, when have people ever been normal about bisexuality? But here's the thing, every relationship Buck had so far had his own set of issues that somehow have been reduced to the way he was dating women, which is fucked in so many ways and the amount of times I have to stop myself from picking a fight because of bucktaylor it's actually hysterical to me because we're seriously at a point where I need to defend the validity of Taylor's place in Buck's life. Like, how did we get here? Because here's the thing, do I think Buck and Taylor were meant to be? No. Do I think Buck would've clung to her until he literally couldn't anymore if her actions hadn't hurt his family? Absolutely. I see Buck going as far as panic proposing to her if that particular situation hadn't happened, just to have someone. Because they had chemistry and Buck kept trying to force that to become love. Taylor was wrong for Buck for a multitude of reasons, but none of those reasons were because she's a woman and Buck is gay. And the relationship with Tommy is not gonna magically last forever just because Tommy is a man. Tommy is this weird amalgamation of all of Buck's love interests with Ali/Ana levels of screentime and he doesn't magically have a fighting chance just because he has a dick and people can't seem to see this. And I think that's crazy. Because Tommy was given to us in an episode that had the theme of not recognizing people, while actively making us think it was about someone else and then they did the Kim storyline and I want to scream because people can't see the parallels. And the more I look at it the more insane I get because he's all of Buck's love interests smashed into someone who's Eddie two steps to the left with none of the things we love about him. But somehow he's perfect because he's not a woman. The only thing Tommy has going for him is not being a woman. You turn him into one and none of the things he did would fly. Letting Buck get away with physically hurting Eddie? Leaving him in the curb? Not dressing up? Making a kink joke after someone Buck loves almost died? Picture those scenes with Lucy and tell me anyone in the fandom would be shipping them. Let alone fighting for them the way people are right now. But he's a man so he gets a pass and that's so fucking weird. Evan Buckley is bisexual but getting dicked down isn't going to magically make everything perfect. Jesus.

Also, since you mentioned Eddie coming out, something that I've been thinking about since we found out it was supposed to be Eddie, a Buck who thinks he's straight finding out Eddie has a boyfriend would shortcircuit. I legit think they could not find a way to write Buck's reaction to Eddie being queer that didn't end with him figuring his feelings out so they switched things up, so Buck would for sure would've gotten there once Eddie got there because he would've had big feelings about it and Buck is not the repressed one.

[bleachbleachbleach]

I don't know if you'll see this, but I've been having this thought for a while and needed to share

You have already shared your view about that whole "souls can't remember their lives before Soul Society" and such, but I've been thinking...

It's ever said that the souls in Rokungai know that they're dead? Well, the Shinigami makes sense to know and the other souls knows about the Shinigami, obviously, but I don't remember if it was ever commented about them knowing they're dead when they wake up in Soul Society

Maybe someone else needs to explain them the situation when a new soul appears? Idk

What do you think?

And excuse me if I'm being dumb about this topic, I'm just not good at remembering stuff

This blog receives 1 ask every few months and averages about 9 notes per post. XD Of course we saw this! Thank you for stopping by! <3

I think this might be in reference to tags we left on this post? At least, that's the most recent discussion I can recall.

Canonically speaking, this guy comes to mind, who knows the year and location of his death:

[Bleach 076 -- (Sorry, no original text--I'm not on the right laptop right now!]

Granted, that doesn't mean he knew this immediately on entry into Soul Society, or knew that he was in this place because he'd died!

But then, of course, there's also this whole ticket system, so I suppose even if you didn't know intrinsically that you had died, some terrible dude dressed in black and shouting about your having died might be something you take at face value (or not!). Or maybe people in Rukongai find you first, and you get the folktale of your own death from souls like you before they send you off to the proper authorities for your ticket.

I've also written fanfic where Hinamori does a more intensive intake of a soul, sort of like what you're describing (though in his case, he knows he's dead, because he died on purpose).

My preference is pretty much always going to be for things to be as paradoxical, contradictory, elusive, and mutable as possible, so if I were going to incorporate Mr. "1947 in Yamanashi" into something, there's a 99% certainty he'd be the odd duck out in terms of having retained that information, and it would be info that existed in fragments and broken conjurations. I'd probably write that there were entire divination practices within different Rukongai subcultures that strove to either remember/cogently arrange the past, or predict the future (in reincarnation), and it's this whole elaborate thing. Some of the divinators are probably legit--but many are probably charlatans who implant all manner of weird, potentially harmful false memories in people--or benign but ultimately untrue--things in people's heads. But then, maybe that's all they need to be. When you're constantly told that the ghost-life you are currently living exists only as a waypoint or halfway between one reality and the next, I imagine it's hard to hold onto desire. Whether the spark is real or not, maybe the fact of the spark is all that comes to matter.

Personally, I also like the idea that although shinigami have this whole ticket system and they'd love for souls to enter into Soul Society all in the same place, in an orderly fashion, that's not necessarily how it works, and the number crunching the 12th does about how many souls are in which district (and which plane of existence) is based on statistical models and cannot actually account individually for each soul. Maybe some come into Soul Society in human form. Maybe some were STILL A BIRD when they arrived, but ultimately became a boy. Maybe some souls spring out fully formed and humanoid and others are elemental first, before solidifying into something else. Maybe some are cut out of peaches or bamboo, or appear as monsters, almost as Hollows--until it turns out they were a human soul all along (or were they...)

Anyway, that's where I'd take that! I'd love to hear more about your thoughts re: who explains the situation. It's a really fun question!

[arttsuka]

I'm gonna share my thoughts and overall opinion about heartstopper (it's negative), if that upsets you just, scroll away.

So, heartstopper. I don't like it. I'm not very good at writing or articulating my thoughts properly but I'll try to explain as best as I can.

First, I want to address the 'you're not part of the target demographic' excuse I'm hearing here and there. That's really not a good excuse. A good media (whether that is a movie, a series, a book, or anything else) can and should be enjoyed by more than one age group. And while my experiences in life don't exactly align with what these characters are going through, that still shouldn't stop me from enjoying the show.

The characters

Darcy, ooo boy. Legit one of the more unlikable characters on the whole show even if it's clear we are meant so sympathize with her. Her actions are clearly hurting her girlfriend and friends but that's ok because she has problems on her own apparently.

They're all very boring, stereotypes really, with no real personality (at least the main characters). And a lot of them are plain unlikable. Part of it can be blamed on how stereotypically they act.

Charlie is the soft uwu gay boy who's being bullied, has an eating disorder, has 1000 problems, is not very athletic, is the 'black cat' of the relationship. Notice anything? Yes, all these stereotypes could be describing any character (at least how the fandom usually misinterprets them). He doesn't feel like a real person because he has no sense of self. And yes, it is a fictional world, but at the same time it's clearly written to reflect reality on a big level. He is also extremely selfish and not very forgiving (and while yes you don't have to forgive others if you don't want to, closing the door on someone's face with a simple 'no' isn't exactly the best thing to do).

Nick is the golden retriever bi boyfriend who's never done anything bad in his life (despite doing some of the same things Ben did aka the most irredeemable character of the series that I'll talk more about later albeit for different reasons, the resultremains the same).

Tory is very underdeveloped but still, very boring as well. I'd like to see more of her but so far her writing is bad at best.

The gays

I can't stretch this enough, all the characters end up being boring because they are stereotypes without anything new added to them.

And Ben. Ben was the villain, he never stood a chance to redeem himself because someone had to be the bad guy apparently. Obviously not justifying his actions, but it's clearly he had problems as well. He knew he'd be bullied for his sexuality and he had to pretend around others (the difference between him and Nick is that Nick was the 'good' replacement I guess). And isn't it kind of weird how he's the only non-straight character to be cast aside from the lgbtq group? How they refuse to give him a chance? I don't know, seems excessively cruel for our main characters to do.

The writing

I fear the writing isn't that strong. Some episodes are pretty packed while others are a bit boring because nothing really happens to progress the story (and this is a slice of life show, filler isn't really a thing in the usual sense because the relationships between characters and seeing them interact with each other is part of the genre).

The dialogues range from 'pretty believable' to 'no one talks like that' although I can't be sure how much the webcomic is at fault for that.

The acting

The acting is pretty good actually. I really enjoy the performances of most of the cast with 2 exceptions, Tori and Mr. Farouk. I don't know the actual intention behind it, but I feel like they both play into the autistic stereotype, in a way that feels uncomfortable to watch. Again, I don't actually know why, maybe it was intentional but it still feels a bit weird.

All the 'good' characters from this show have to be a part of the lgbtq community. Straight cis people can't really be good people apparently (even Imogen wasn't straight in the end). And I'm not saying gay characters can't be good but it feels like the show itself makes that connection, gay->good (except if you're Ben), straight->bad (or, if good then not straight).

The intimate stuff

It made me really uncomfortable actually. Not the implied sex but the excessive kissing (of the gay characters, God forbid any of the other couples kiss more than twise).

The eating disorder and mental problems

I can't really say much about it. I think they handled it pretty well on some parts and not so great at others. I liked how the show made it clear Nick shouldn't feel responsible for helping Charlie by himself and how having a mental problem or ed isn't something you should feel like a burden for, you can still be a human being.

The transphobia

Again, there's nothing much to say, but I will say this. The statement 'Gender neutral bathrooms will increase cases of sexual assault against women' isn't inherently transphobic, but rooted in misandry (it can obviously be both, but at it's core it's about stereotypes against men). It's how society is formed at this moment, how patriarchy is hurting everyone, not just women and all.

At the end of the day, my biggest problem with heartstopper lies in this. People claim it's a cozy show about the lgbtq youth, finding love, that I'm just jealous I didn't have something like this growing up etc. But at the same time the show tackles extremely sensitive topics like homophobia, transphobia, eating disorders...

You can't have both, it's either a cozy little show that you shouldn't criticize too hard or it's a show that deals with difficult, important stuff that deserve critisism.

I'm closing with this image I saw a while back because it's hilarious

[starguardianniom]

Greetings fellow Billy Enjoyer~ I wanted to say that I love your long essays collecting the little bits and pieces of information we got on our Billy bOi :D

Majority of my friends play HSR or Genshin and my friends who do play ZZZ are usually guys who are more after the ladies (and Lycaon but I'm not surprised XD) so I don't usually get the chance to fan girl about my bOi Billy 😭

We are being fed literal CRUMBS about Billy and while I'm glad, I am starving 😭, though I am of the belief that Billy is much MUCH more important than what we are currently led to believe atm, which is why they are giving us crumbs and the occasional nugget of information as of the moment.

I hope to see more of your essays, as I also pray for more Billy fanfics XD

WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! T_T <3 <3 <3

Well as a woman who is a lesbian but is bi toward fictional men (XD) I am of course in love with Billy. He single-handedly ended my previous obsession with Baldur's Gate 3 and I seriously have played non stop since august with ZZZ, though that now I have used everything for pulls I am left starving for trying to maybe get Caesar, and I hope to be so freaking lucky for when Miyabi will come.

Rest assured I will continue fangirling about Billy and will make it everyone else's problem on this site. XD

Honestly I find Lycaon just ok, like sorry but after meeting Billy like Lycaon seems to just not look as alive as Billy because Billy is so dynamic as a character that some just don't feel to have the same energy as him, and the guy is a robot yet he feels more human and alive than some people I know. Extra ironic about Lycaon I don't have him but I got his W-engine yesterday when trying to get Caesar so I'm like "but I don't even have you what the ehll do you want me to do with your w-engine???"

Yeah we are fed, also found more background on him while doing a commission in the Outer Ring yesterday, I'll post that later today once I'm back from work. ^^ I mean dude is a freaking android made of lost technology and it seems nobody cares, or well the ones that do are people looking to dismantle him or sell him or use him as a weapon.

I am still legit miffed that he doesn't have an Agent Story yet, maybe one day all agents will have one, hopefully, maybe.

Currently I am running after Caesar because she just casually drops info on Billy that I need so bad and either my character doesn't press further or seems to want to diss him and I'm banging my head on my wall to make the game stop insulting my boy. I legit wish now that I played as Wise instead of Belle a bit but on PS5 I tried everything and I can't switch to Wise when walking around, dunno if that comes later with the last part of Cheesetopia or if it's gonna be with Burnice.

Oh worry not essays and headcanons are coming, just that they take over an hour to write. XD But I don't have school or homework, just work because I'm 30 years old and said work doesn't requires me to bring anything work related back at home at all so I can just unwind and write my ramblings and observations and just me fangirling. XD

Now I'm currently trying to get everyone leveled up to level 60, and so far Billy is the most leveled up at level 47 because I legit used all the things I had to level up Jane, Seth, Lucy and Piper, my dude Anton is only at level 20 and I don't need Koleda so she's staying at level 1 (legit miffed to have gotten her instead of Nekomata I wanted the entire Cunning Hares faction dammit!)

Did some other pulls yesterday, gave me 1 Piper and 1 Anby. So currently I have Billy M2, Seth M2, Anton M2, Anby M5, Nicole M1, Ben M0, Jane M0, Lucy M1, Piper M1, Corin M4, Soukaku M6. I also got Piper's engine twice.

Also bought Amillion because I kind of legit did pretty much everything with Billy, Nicole and Anby so. XD

I also have tons of headcanons about Billy... that keep changing each time we get new info on him because it pretty much destroys what I mentally pictured so I have to adjust and I'm even more motivated after that. XD

Feel free to come chatting more about Billy. Love Billy squad unite. I'll answer once I'm home and can finally get in front of my computer.

[hatosaur]

How exactly did you come to love TLOU? I have my own special interests that just happened upon me, so I want to know about how it was for others. also, any other games that you like?

you've asked the golden question so strap in because this is gonna be LONG:

i first got into tlou through part 2! admittedly i didn't play the og first. i did own it at the time because it seemed like one of those games you just gotta play (and i was right) and yknow ellie's gay and i dug that, but at that point i hadn't played it but knew the plot through a cinematic compilation video.

i was intrigued by part 2, specifically because of the teaser at e3 where ellie and dina dance and kiss. though i didn't have a BURNING desire to have the game, me being down for anything gay pretty much what sealed my fate. so i bought the game and played it on my older brother's ps4.

and MAN, was i obsessed pretty much immediately. looking back, it was a fever dream, just me playing the game from the moment i woke up to the moment i went to bed, nonstop...until i reached the point where ellie leaves and i stopped playing, completely distraught, and ended up watching the ending on youtube.

i was pissed, conflicted, legit fell into a deep depression after knowing how the game ends. after that point, because as we all know the shitstorm over the game was not pretty, i lingered on both sides of the fanbase for a while. because as someone who went in for the gay and had to witness the gay be destroyed, i was hurt -- but i realized after seeing anti-tlou2 people talk about their (weird and irrational) reasons for hating the game that i didn't hate the game, i was just that. hurt.

but the game is meant to hurt. there's a reason for the hurt.

and once i looked past the hurt that i felt, i analyzed hardcore, discussed with people (this is the nicest environment to do so), ate up every single detail discovered, replayed, and then i was making art, obsessively so, writing fanfiction, and now it's been 3 years and those fictional fuckers still live in my brain to this day.

and of course, i dove into the og! i remember playing the game while my online lectures (because covid lol) played in the background.

tlou is fully my biggest hyperfixation/special interest to date. i went into how but here's more of the reasons behind it:

i've talked about this a ton before but i love that though tlou has a reputation of being a dark game and people tend to read it as being about "the darkness of humanity", it's really not about that, but love and what people will do for it, as well as seeking and obtaining a purpose, even in the world's darkest conditions.

i love that it's about found family, that joel can't help but love ellie, because at the end of the day, he's not really supposed to be the heartless person he wants to pretend he is, but he's supposed to be a DAD. i love that ellie, despite never knowing the feeling of a parent, loves joel right back. i love that despite disliking him at first, she warms to him so quickly and she wears him down with her stupid jokes and her endearing weirdness.

i love that the themes of love persist through the second game even as it drags the franchise to darker places. that these are the lengths that ellie will go to not to get abby, but for joel. i love that part 2 says, "hey these bitches unhealthy" and that despite love being their motivation (abby for her dad, ellie & tommy for joel, dina for ellie, lev for his mother), it shouldn't be driving them to those ends!!!!

.....anyway for your second question, i'm picky about games but some recurring favs are apex legends, minecraft, breath of the wild, stardew valley, life is strange (watched the playthru only but loved the story sm), tell me why, and i just started horizon zero dawn! the way things are going, i think i'll like it a lot :)

[felixwaffling]

Totally different vibe but I'm gay and thinking so much about him. This post might get nsfw, folks.

I'm smitten. Sure we have our problems, I mean, of course we do, he's dating ME- But FUCK, man. It's like how I felt with Alex except Victor is a good person who actually loves me. He's way stronger than me, which makes me SHAKE bro. He could hurt me if he wanted to, but he's so nice. He calls me things that have me on my fucking knees.

Like. Hooooly shit I can't wait til I get a chance to meet him in person bc when I say I'm gonna do whatever he wants... I MEAN WHATEVER. Like. I will be incapable of saying no. I will be pathetic.

Imagine if we meet in a bar and I get super drunk and kiss him dude that- HGJDHDBFHFHD.

I want him. I want him ON ME. I legit- like. I'm acespec, sex repulses me, the thought of being touched is so scary, but like I'd let him be all over me if he actually wanted me. I'd let him do ANYTHING.

I am so fucking attracted to this guy, and we have so much in common that some days we do nothing but play video games for literally the whole day together... We play almost every night and he puts up with my drunk nonsense, he doesn't complain <333

I wish I could tell him about the shit I'm into bc the only way this could get better is if I get proper dominated man I'm- I'm weak, I'm small, I like hiding behind people and letting them make all the decisions. I'm a dog for this man. I'm property.

FUCK I am drunk rn and if any of my friends find this I'm going to be humiliated beyond belief, they don't-

Nobody knows how much I want this man to fuck me and it weighs heavy, like, I don't even think he knows how I'd kill for him to both absolutely wreck me AND baby me.

Bc on one hand. I'm a little baby. I'm pure. I'm innocent. Treat me like a little goober and hold me and. IDK FUCK MAYBE I JUST HAVE DADDY ISSUES BC I THINK IM ASKING FOR A DILF-

... but on the other hand, I'm a bad person, I'm the worst, I'm whatever villain you need me to be just PLEASE put me in my fucking place I *WANT* you to punish me I'm like literally asking for it, I'm doing shit that gets on ur nerves bc I wanna be RAILED man I WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING IF YOUD JUST SLAM ME AGAINST THE WALL AND BREAK ME WHEN IM A LITTLE BITCH

HhHh.

I still can't believe I'm saying all this shit

I'm beyond wasted. Like. Intoxicated moreso than usual. Typing this so far has taken an HOUR and I got sad halfway through out of humiliation and went to write that first post. But even through all the drinking, all I can really think about is being pinned to his bed 👉👈,,,

,,, it's not just sex either bc I want kisses. Neck kisses. Like. Damn. I want him to hold me from behind. I want to cling to him. Hide my face against him. If he touched my face I would do the fucking meme thing and refuse to let go of his hand. I want to snuggle against him and just. Disappear for a while.

.... I want to cry myself to sleep in *his arms* instead of on my own. I hug my pillows and try desperately to pretend they're him. I see him when I fall asleep, when I'm alone, when I'm sad... when I'm fucking suicidal the thing that stops me is that then I'd have to wait who KNOWS how long for him to live out his own life, and that I might have to watch him fall in love with someone else (the worst thing ever)

If. If I ever lost him idk what I'd do because fuck dude. He's everything. Victor is my world. I want to meet him.

.... I also want him to control every aspect of my life and tell me what to do bc without guidance I drown. Ppl might think it'd be toxic, but I think I need that in my life. I hate making decisions. I want to sit quietly and let him think, bc I'm bad at thinking, and thinking overwhelms me. I want him to hide me behind him and be the one to handle the world so that I can just be *his.*

UGH. THIS IS THE HORNIEST, SAPPIEST FUCKING POST IVE EVER MADE EVER.