#also a lot of worries over antidepressants

[scarletcomet]

scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die

[livelaughloveluffy]

comfort - trafalgar water d. law

a/n: listen... i was always a law simp pre-wano..... but wano law 😭😭😭 you will always be famous. and the brain rot is just so intense for him that i had to write this fic

a/n: i'm still adjusting to my antidepressants and literally have 9 labs due this week so forgive me for not being insanely active; i'm mainly just trying to survive 💀

nothing but fluff here! 💗

---------------------------------------------------------------------

when he comforts you:

-the captain goes above and beyond to silently help you out. chores you were supposed to do around the polar tang are miraculously already done, a cold glass of water and a small snack left on your nightstand when you wake up, your laundry folded and put away.

-and it doesn't stop at that. law wants to make sure you can relax and destress, so this sweet man will run you a bath, dimly lit with candles and a glass of wine, and he'll stay to gently wash your hair and give back massages. fully allowing you to just enjoy the warmth of the soapy water and his touch.

-he'll always make time in his schedule for cuddles, even if that means the two of you are crammed into his desk chair, he'll hold you tight to him, gently stroke your hair, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

-while advice isn't law's strongest area of expertise (he's much too pessimistic and blunt for that 💀) he is a fantastic listener. once he knows you aren't looking for a solution to your problems but just someone to support you while you rant, he'll sit through hours and hours of ranting and rambling, attentive eyes on you, his hand on the smalls of your back rubbing soft circles into you, even when he's busy he'll always lend an ear to your problems and a shoulder to cry on.

-he's a lot more affectionate than usual when he notices you haven't been yourself. pda suddenly doesn't bother him anymore, and he won't leave a room before giving you some kisses, his arm will be around your waist as he address the crew, or he'll grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours.

-when you're sick, injured, or on your period: law will provide literally the best cuddles you could ever ask for, his silk sheets against your body, the smell of his cologne filling the room, his warm body next to yours, your head on his chest, he'll let your fingers trace over the lines of his tattoos with absolutely no protesting. he's going to do the most for you, and if you didn't know him as well as you do, you'd truly have no idea who was leaving little chocolates and love notes on your pillow, a new book on your bed, your favorite drink stocked up in the fridge, and the fresh flowers on your nightstand everyday. he'll never address it or come out to take credit for it, he'd just do it. the captain will shower you in kisses much more than usual, on your cheek, the top of your head, a small peck on your lips, he's much more affectionate as its the subtle way he expresses his love and worry for you.

when he needs comforting:

-law is not the kind of guy to talk about his problems. a lot of this is because he struggles with verbalizing his feelings, worries, and stresses, but also because he doesn't find any relief in it. you instantly know when the captain needs you by the way he asked for you to meet him in his office. the second the door closes, he's picking you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you so close to him, the faint scent of bourbon vanilla fills your nose as you bury your face into the crook of his neck.

-there's nothing the captain loves more than the feeling of your fingers tangled up in his soft dark raven locks, with your face resting against his chest you can hear the way his heart beat slightly slows fully enjoying the sensation of your touch.

-law finds lots of solace in hearing your voice, it's simply music to his ears. he'll listen to stories about your past or adventures you've been on, rambles about your hobbies, what you did today, anything and everything. he loves the distraction it provides him as well as the comforting ambient noise it provides while he works.

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a/n: soft law my beloved 😭😭😭😭😭 i totally forgot the whole "when you're sick" section of this fic when i first posted it, so i panic wrote that shit so damn fast 💀 it's been a minute since i wrote one of these 😭😭

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

a/n: if you are interested in being added to my taglist: here's a google form!!!

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)

Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.

thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy

Chapter 10

“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him. 

“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”

“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”

“Really?” She looks at him surprised. 

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”

“Good to know.” She nods, frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor. 

“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.

“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side. 

“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription. 

The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that. 

“I’m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”

Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.” 

“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.” 

Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.

She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.” 

“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.” 

“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.” 

“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”

The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”

“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”

“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.

“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”

Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.” 

“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”

“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”

“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”

“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”

“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”

“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”

“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.

“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.

“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”

“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.

“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”

“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.

He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders. 

Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt. 

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”

“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”

“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.” 

Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans. 

“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”

“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”

“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.” 

“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”

“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.” 

“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple. 

She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers. 

Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”

“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”

“Let me prep you first.”

He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers. 

“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.

“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in. 

When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”

Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.

“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him. 

When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.

“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.

“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”

She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”

Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.

He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.

Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”

“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.

Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants. 

Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”

“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

______________________________________________________________

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[delulu4dean]

“Withdrawals”

Warnings: suicide, depression, anxiety

Pairings: Dean Winchester x sister!reader, Sam Winchester x sister!reader

Prompt: withdrawal from Cymbalta. Based on my own experience

Word Count: 3,624

You are all packed up to go with your older brothers. They were going all the way to the Redwood Forest, and you didn’t want to be in the bunker all alone.

You aren’t a hunter like them, not yet at least. You’ve studied the lore, and you’ve trained a bit, because after all, you are a Winchester. And the name alone is like wearing a giant “kick me” sign if it said “kill me” instead. No, you’re a student, getting your associates online in the exploratory major because you have no idea what you would want to do other than hunt with your brothers.

Sam and Dean promised John they’ll never let you into the life. Your mom died shortly after you were born. Your dad met your mom on a hunt nineteen years ago. She was a nurse in a hospital. There was one patient who was wrongfully treated, and died due to medical negligence. And boy does a vengeful spirit do a lot of damage. John saved your mom’s life, and they celebrated that night. She got pregnant, and she kept John’s number so nine months later, he picks up the phone to find out he’s got a daughter. Dean overheard the conversation and when John said he wouldn’t go, Dean said he has to. It resulted in a huge argument. John eventually gave in, and they went to the hospital to see you, and Dean knew right there and then he’d do anything to protect his little sister.

Your mom killed herself after she brought you home. Family history of mental illness was bad enough, but the postpartum depression pushed her over the edge.

It was not easy showing up at Stanford trying to explain to Sam that he had a baby sister, and that also your dad was missing. It was especially not easy looking for your dad while they had to take care of a baby. Dean often got babysitters to watch you in the motels they stayed in.

And now here you are, nineteen years old, aimlessly walking through life. You’re getting an associates in nothing specific just to get some general education done. And that history of mental illness in your family is hitting you hard. You’re on antidepressants, a specific one that treats your depression and anxiety.

Dean parks at the motel, and goes to get keys for a room. You don’t mind sleeping on the couch, out of the three of you it only makes sense, you got tall and taller with you, and it just doesn’t seem fair to make them sleep on the couch when you fit so well on it.

Sam and Dean throw on their FBI getup and go start asking questions while you connect your laptop to the motel wifi. Yay statistics, said no one ever. You’re only doing this to make your brothers happy, you don’t see a reason to get a degree. They say it’s useful to get some sort of decent job, or to one day get a further education when you decide what you want to do. But you already know what you want to do, you want to hunt with them.

You don’t know how you ended up on the couch. One moment you were doing homework and… yeah, that’s enough to make you snooze. You look at the time and it’s 8am the next day. You look into your bag and your eyes wide as you realize you left your antidepressants in the bunker.

“Shit!”

Your sudden outburst awakens your brothers as they both shoot up to see what’s wrong with you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam asks as they both run to your side.

“I forgot my meds at home,” you pout.

“Your meds?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“My antidepressants,” you clarify.

Dean makes an “O” shape with his mouth in response.

“Have you ever missed a day before?” Sam asks you.

“No, and this is going to be longer than a day. How am I going to manage without it?”

“Managing your existing problems is the least of your worries kiddo. You’re going to go through withdrawals,” Dean takes a seat next to you. “One of us can stay with you.”

“I’ll be fine, let’s get breakfast, you guys do your research and then I get back and work on more homework, I’ll keep myself occupied,” you assure your brother. They give each other a worried look, not feeling too sure, but you insist you’ll be fine.

The three of you head to a diner, and you check out the menu while Dean checks out the waitress.

“Perv,” you mumble under your breath.

“Good morning, what can I get for you?”

Dean orders the greasiest breakfast on the menu, with bacon of course. Sam orders some omelette made with just egg whites.

“And for you, hun?” the waitress looks at you with a smile.

“I’d like a plate of eggs, over easy, and sausages. And an order of chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream if that’s possible. And a cup of coffee if that isn’t too much trouble,” you order.

“Coming right up!”

After a couple of minutes the coffee is ready and she serves you and your brothers your coffee. You add a couple of vanilla creamers. You take your first sip, and immediately regret not blowing on it first. The hot liquid burns your tongue. You set your cup down as your stomach growls, begging to be fed.

On a normal day, you could be patient, wait for your food. But today isn’t a normal day, and even though it’s probably a five minute wait, ten at most, you need the food now. Your leg bounces up and down, as your fingers tap on the table.

“Hey kid, are you alright?” Dean asks you.

“Mmhm. Just hungry.”

“The food will be out any minute,” Sam assures you. You nod but it doesn’t make the time pass by any quicker for you.

You watch as the waitress walks over to your table with your food and you sit up. The moment she places your place in front of you, you dig in. Your brothers watch as you focus on your meal. They’ve never seen you eat like this. Normally you try to stay neat and clean while you eat. You talk to them. But right now, your brothers know better than to comment on you eating.

It’s not Dean doesn’t go crazy about food either. It’s just out of the ordinary for you, and you’re off your meds for the next few days, so they’re worried. Eventually they start getting to their research.

After breakfast, your brothers drop you off at the motel, and get on with the case. You open your laptop, log into your student portal, and look at your assignments. This is going to be a long day.

✰✰✰✰✰

You’re sat on the chair in front of your laptop, as you have been all day. It’s been hard to concentrate, you kept checking your phone, playing games. Every time your brothers texted to check in on you, you used it as an excuse to be on your phone again. And then when you finally started concentrating, you didn’t understand it.

You’re sat on your chair, tears streaming down your face. Hugging your knees, you just stare at the screen as the numbers blur together. Math was frustrating. It’s not like you’re bad at it, you’re actually great at it. But your mind is cloudy, and even reading over everything again and again, you’re not processing anything.

You barely made it through your other assignments, and this is all you have left for the day. You’ve been going at it since breakfast, you even skipped lunch to make up for the distractions.

The motel door clicks and creaks open, and footsteps enter the room. You don’t look up from your screen, you just hope they don’t notice your damp face.

“We got dinner,” Dean says, placing the bag on the table in front of you.

“ ‘M-not hungry,” you mumble.

“What do you mean you’re not hungry, what did you have for lunch?” Dean sits at the table, and Sam joins.

You still don’t look up as your brothers take out their food from the take out bag. Dean places your food in front of you as you push it away.

“I’ve been doing homework all day, no time to eat,” you attempt to speak but it all came out in a raspy whisper.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam scoots closed to you, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m stupid, that’s what’s wrong,” you break down into sobs. “I can’t do simple math equations.”

“You’re great at math,” Dean tries to assure you, but it doesn’t help.

“But I can’t do it today.”

“Hey, hey. You're off your meds. You’re not stupid, you're just not in the right state right now,” Sam tells you, and you nod. “Eat up, and after dinner, I’ll help you with your math, and anything else you need help with.”

Your sobs become small whimpers until you stop crying altogether. You sniffle before grabbing the dinner your brothers got for your. Sam sits next to you and reads over your math homework and explains things. Just reading it didn’t process, but hearing it out loud, from your brother, that helped process what you were actually looking at. Not long after, you finish your homework.

“Thank you, Sammy,” you hug your brother, tightly, and he hugs you back.

“Of course, (Y/N/N),” he keeps you close.

✰✰✰✰✰

You toss and turn, unable to sleep. You’re really starting to miss your antidepressants. Huffing, you get up from the couch, throw on your slip on vans, and take one of the motel key cards. Maybe a walk with some therapeutic music will help you feel better. It really sucks how just after 24 hours, the withdrawal kicks in. You throw in your earbuds and start walking around the block.

Your skin feels all tingly and a burning sensation travels up your leg but you ignore your body screaming. Maybe the walk is what you need. You've been sitting all day, no wonder you can’t sleep.

You put your hands in your pocket as you sing along to the next song under your breath.

“Running low, on serotonin. Chemical imbalance got me twisting things. Stabilize with medicine, there’s no depth to these feelings. Dig deep, can’t hide from the corners of my mind. I’m terrified of what’s inside.”

You take in a deep breath, letting the cool air fill your lungs.

“Please don’t let me go crazy. Put me if a field with daisies, might not work but I’ll take a maybe.”

As the song ends, you reach the motel door, but before you can use your key card, the door opens. You look up to see Dean frantically walking out until he sees you.

“Y/N! Where were you?” He whisper-shouts.

“I just went on a walk,” you explain. “I couldn’t sleep. Thought it would tire me out.”

“How are you feeling?” he asks you, putting his hand on your back, bringing you inside.

“Honestly my legs hurt, my skin feels all tingly, and my head is starting to hurt.”

“Come on, you’re sleeping in my bed tonight. We can tell each other ghost stories until we fall asleep.”

You smile softly, remembering that’s what Dean would do to get you to bed growing up. You lay down underneath the cover and look at the ceiling.

“Instead of a ghost story, you can catch me up on what you and Sammy have figured out about the case,” you suggest.

And so Dean goes into detail about his day, and how he things by tomorrow night things should be done. Dean is thinking it’s a siren, since these victims were last seen talking about seeing a pretty woman.

“But what were the victims doing before they got killed?” you pose a question.

“One was smoking, another littered, the third being really disruptive,” your eldest brother answers you.

“Hm. Could be a dryad,” you tell Dean.

“A what?”

“A dryad, forest nymph, not a fairy or a goddess but sort of in between. Magical, gorgeous women. There are different nymphs, like water nymphs for example.”

“How do you kill a nymph?” Dean asks you.

“She’s just protecting the forest,” you pout.

“She’s killing people.”

“Talk to her.”

“How do you kill her?” Dean presses.

“You don’t,” you finally give in. “Not without killing nature. Do you want to burn down a tree, Dean?”

“… no.”

“Thought so.”

“Then what do I do?”

“Technically if you can find the one tree she’s attached to, you can kill her. But you shouldn’t.”

“I’ll try talking to her, for you.”

“Thanks Dean.”

✰✰✰✰✰

The next morning you and Dean are both awaken by Sam, who brings you breakfast burritos.

“Good morning,” he says.

“Mmm morning,” you yawn.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Sam asks.

“No, I just couldn’t sleep. So Dean caught me up on your case.”

Sam nods. After breakfast and some research, Sam and Dean get what they need to summon her.

“Since it’s not that dangerous, maybe I can come along,” you offer.

“Homework for the week all done?” Sam asks.

You nod.

“Legs feeling better?” Dean asks.

You nod again.

“You’re lying,” he squints his eyes at you.

“How would you know?”

“The second nod was slower and less confident.”

You groan.

“If you need one of us to stay with you, we can arrange that. If what you said is true, it will be easy enough for just one of us,” Sam suggests.

“I’m fine,” you lie. You’re not fine. Your body is aching, and the anxiety and depression are starting to really sink in.

“Sam, you’re better at talking things out than I am. I’ll drop you off, then head back here. You can call me if you need backup,” Dean says.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sam nods.

The two of them leave the room and you sigh, laying down. You can’t just stay sitting in this room the whole time. You’re at a bear themed motel close to the redwood forest. You need to experience the nature. You’re feeling trapped and panicked. Your breathing accelerates and you sit up. Pacing back and forth for the next forty minutes, you wait for Dean to get back.

The door opens and he walks in with a bag in hand.

“You’re five minutes late!” you yell at him.

“I just stopped to get some pie,” he sets down the bag. “I got you powdered donuts.”

You nod.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just feeling really trapped in here. Think we can go for a walk, or a drive at least?”

“A drive sounds good,” Dean nods. “But eat the donuts before. No powder on Baby.” He points a finger at you.

“Yes sir,” you grab your donuts and eat, while dean digs into his pie.

After dessert, you two get into Baby. You look out the window as he pulls out of the motel parking lot.

“You want to play some music?” Dean asks you.

“What happened to driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole?”

“This is a one time opportunity, Y/N. You don’t wanna miss it,” he nudges you.

You use a cassette adapter to connect your phone. You continue the playlist you were playing last night.

“You wanna listen to sad music?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“I am sad. I don’t have my happy pills,” you mumble.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Honestly? I just want to cry. For absolutely no reason. Well there is a reason, withdrawals.”

Tears well up, and you take a shaky sigh.

“I’m sorry kid. I’ll make sure we get home as soon as possible.”

You just nod. The medication doesn’t stop the bad thoughts from happening, but they stop them from hurting as much. The problem was the medication isn’t as effective anymore either. You’ve built a tolerance, so right now the only difference is instead of mild depression, you want to kill yourself. You hate how you look, I mean both of your brothers are considered attractive and you feel like you look… dorky. School is stressful especially when you’re working towards a degree you don’t want.

And then you think of your brothers, who swooped in to take care of you. John wasn’t a terrible father to you, but you know he was too tough on Sam and Dean especially when it came to you. And then when John died, Dean became basically like your dad. He already raised Sam during his youth and then he had to take care of you. You couldn’t help but think that Sam and Dean would have it so much easier without you.

You try to hide your cries, looking out the window, letting tears stream down your face.

“Y/N/N? Talk to me,” Dean coaxes you. “What are you thinking about.”

Your silent cries become wails and sobs. And the crying triggers a headache and you feel nauseous and everything is just awful.

“Dean, why do you keep me around?” You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself but it doesn’t work. “I’m a burden. You don’t need to be taking care of me, especially when I’m an adult. I’m just dragging you down,” you cry out. “If I were dead, or never born, you’d be so much happier!”

“Woah woah!” Dean pulls over, then looks over at you. “I would not be happier without you. We don’t keep you around to take care of you. You’re grown, independent. We love you. And we’re happy you like being around us too. You’re our family.”

You look up at him, and you can almost see his heart breaks as he looks at your face. He wipes your tears and pulls you in for a hug.

“Are you thinking of hurting yourself? Are the suicidal thoughts back?”

You nod, crying into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry.”

“Shh. You have nothing to be sorry about, baby, these thoughts aren’t your fault.”

You feel something going on in your throat, and you pull away quickly, opening the door, emptying the contents from your stomach. Dean quickly gets out from the drivers side and runs over to you.

“Ew,” you cry. “God that’s gross. I’m sorry.”

Your shoulders continue to shake as you resume crying. Your older brother crouches down (avoiding where you threw up) and pushes your hair back behind your ears.

“You don’t need to say sorry.”

“I might have gotten some on Baby,” you say, looking around to make sure.

“I can clean it. It’s just a car. You’re my baby sister.”

You sniffle as a smile creeps on your face.

“You do really love me. You’d never say she’s just a car unless it was that serious.”

“Of course it’s that serious. You’re having withdrawals. Now lets get something in that tummy,” he pokes your stomach. “Something light and comforting. You can wash up in the bathroom. And then we can get Sam and get you home.”

You nod and the drive resumes. You head back to the diner you had breakfast at yesterday. For lunch you get a grilled cheese and tomato soup. Dean gets a burger, obviously. As you wait for the food, you head into the bathroom and wash up.

After lunch, Sam gives Dean a call, saying it’s all over, and to also check up on you. You guys go on your way to pick up Sam. Dean hands the key over to Sam and Sam looks at Dean confused.

“Long drive from California to Kansas. Don’t want to leave her alone. After dinner we can switch off and you can sit in the back if you want,” Dean explains.

“It’s fine, it looks like you got control of the situation.” Sam looks over to you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling like absolute shit. But better than before.”

“When we get home, you take your meds, get your sleep, then we can do a movie night,” Sam suggests.

“That sounds great Sammy,” you smile. You kiss his cheek before going into the back seat with Dean.

“Thanks for being here for me Dean,” you say, kissing his cheek as well.

“Of course. I’ve been here since day one,” he ruffles your hair.

✰✰✰✰✰

The next 21 hours end up being hell. Dean said the wrong thing while trying to comfort you, sending you spiraling. That’s when Sam sat in the back while Dean sat up front beating himself up over it as he drives the rest of the way home. You apologized for being a difficult kid and Dean didn’t deny you were difficult, he just said easy is boring.

Now Dean pulls into the bunker garage, and you run to your room to get your medicine and take it. Dean follows you, wanting to apologize.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You aren’t a difficult kid. You were a great kid. Fun, and a great listener.”

“It’s okay Dean, I’m over it. Really.”

He nods.

“Can you stay with me until I sleep though? You and Sam? I want to hear about the dryad!”

“Sure thing. Sammy!”

Sam runs up to you guys.

“She wants you to tell us about the dryad.”

“Was she pretty?” you ask.

“Yes, she was very pretty.”

You lay in bed as your brothers sit on each side of you. Sam talks about how your plan to talk to her actually worked, and how the conversation went down. You smile as you listen. Your eyelids get heavy and soon you’re out.

[planefood]

I was telling some friends last night I'd be going more indepth with Mikey too so here it is

Sometimes I worry I infantilise Mikey a lot, he is a favourite character of mine and he's an amalgamation of the most vulnerable parts of myself. He's also given the short end of the stick from his life and the people around him as well which makes me very defensive about him in general.

If I'm a gobstopper and each of my characters are a specific layer of it, Mikey would be my soft centre

(I swear they have gum in the centre I promise thats a thing)

BUT just like I don't wanna give people the impression that Tandy is just a one sided grumpy pants, I don't wanna give the impression that Mikey is a perfect victim or incapable of fending for himself either. Max is incredibly over protective of him which causes a lot of strain in their relationship. Mikey hasn't been treated very kindly by people around him because he's very high maintenance and not very good at making people feel like he cares about them even if he does. Which makes him latch onto robots like Max who treat him with any amount of kindness. Max will defend him from pretty much everything. But after awhile Mikey starts lashing out because, truth be told, Max doesn't really view Mikey as an equal despite the kindness he shows him. Which eventually gets on Mikeys nerves. Max doesn't give him the proper space to heal from past traumas. Maybe I can sometimes pull a Max on him unintentionally when I write about him or draw him.

I created Mikey in a middle of a particularly grueling work week, feeling totally out of my element and very vulnerable. I believe I made him around the time I had started some antidepressants I reacted really badly to or just after I had to quit them cold turkey. I rolled up all those feelings I had at the time and sculpted it into Mikey. It's no wonder he looks absolutely miserable on his first ref

I also based him off an old dell laptop I had when I was a kid, windows 7. I broke it because I accidentally turned it off while it was updating and turned its computer brain into soup. That left a particular impression in my mind of what Dell computers were like: easy to break, badly. I turned that into Mikey being a lot more emotionally fragile compared to a lot of my other characters. I imagined what I'd be like if I was a Dell computer and I figured I'd probably not be happy. I recently got an old Dell Laptop that's similar to Mikey as a gift from a friend. He doesn't have a battery so he needs to be plugged in at all times but otherwise he works fine and I find him to be quite charming.

Everytime I see him I think about how I write Mikey. I wanted to make a character that represented the worst parts of my mental health but also gave a view into how other robots could quickly turn on a fellow robot if they viewed them as being too burdensome or annoying. But I don't want Mikey to just be a "hey maybe bullying people is bad" 90s kid cartoon style moral for Tandy. I enjoy writing him as a character in general. He is dipping his feet into writing and creating comics and I'm keen on exploring other facets of him as time goes on.

[aspd-culture]

Do you know at what point ASPD is unlikely to reverse in minors (like 17 or 16 but I know 18 is necessary for diagnosis) or if a certain amount of symptoms is unlikely to reduce enough to not be ASPD anymore?

I've heard the 18+ thing is necessary because ASPD can be reduced/reversed before 18 but I'm not sure if it consistently includes 16/17 as ones who can also be reduced if they meet the criteria.

I'm just turning 17 next month and trying to get therapy is difficult because of my provider so I'm worried my ASPD traits are irreversible already (mostly because of how much I experience them, which is relatively a lot compared to prosocials)

So the younger you are, the easier this is, but realistically I wouldn't be surprised if it has wiggle room even going over that 18 year range - which is somewhat arbitrary and is not built with the actual ages of impulsivity and emotional regulation in mind as far as I can tell. It's just that ASPD can only be diagnosed in adulthood, and in the US which is the book I'm reading out of, you're an adult at 18. I don't think it's a hard and fast rule bc the wording is "cannot be diagnosed until 18" not "should be diagnosed if these symptoms persist past 18". It's basically saying that you can't diagnose anyone under that age with it bc it could just be normal teenage behavior.

The things that can reverse the set in of ASPD symptoms are all based in adequate support and ability to heal, so the freshness of the events leading to ASPD would also be important to consider. You're less likely to be able to be helped to recover from this to where it's not diagnosable (meaning you don't have it bc you genuinely do not under any definition fit the criteria - this is what ppl mean when they say with their antidepressants, they're no longer considered diagnosable with depression and are therefore considered successfully treated) if you've spent longer in survival mode. What the support needed to avoid ASPD is based on is getting you out of survival mode in time for your brain to socially develop properly. As the brain doesn't stop developing until around 25, my unprofessional behind would not be surprised if you could, in theory, be given enough respite that you can avoid ASPD for a couple years after that 18 starting line for diagnosis. And the less time you were in survival mode without adequate support to remove you from it, the lower chance antisocial traits would develop in the first place.

It is absolutely worth an attempt if you're able to start trying to get that support, but try to do it outside of the mindset of running from ASPD, bc that will ruin your brain's ability to focus on healing. In the meantime while you're getting that therapy to process, you can also be supplementing your therapy with researching and attempting to understand social cues and dances and all of that. If you're getting help and you're researching this, then even if you do end up having ASPD you'll have done a good amount of the heavy lifting to learn to best cope with it and have more typical relationships and social interactions with those around you.

No matter what, you have all the time in the world to heal to a very significant degree bc ASPD does respond to professional help to mitigate some of it's symptoms, so please don't let turning 18 discourage you from getting help. With or without ASPD, you deserve to heal from whatever trauma you've dealt with.

Plain text below the cut:

So the younger you are, the easier this is, but realistically I wouldn't be surprised if it has wiggle room even going over that 18 year range - which is somewhat arbitrary and is not built with the actual ages of impulsivity and emotional regulation in mind as far as I can tell. It's just that ASPD can only be diagnosed in adulthood, and in the US which is the book I'm reading out of, you're an adult at 18. I don't think it's a hard and fast rule bc the wording is "cannot be diagnosed until 18" not "should be diagnosed if these symptoms persist past 18". It's basically saying that you can't diagnose anyone under that age with it bc it could just be normal teenage behavior.

The things that can reverse the set in of ASPD symptoms are all based in adequate support and ability to heal, so the freshness of the events leading to ASPD would also be important to consider. You're less likely to be able to be helped to recover from this to where it's not diagnosable (meaning you don't have it bc you genuinely do not under any definition fit the criteria - this is what ppl mean when they say with their antidepressants, they're no longer considered diagnosable with depression and are therefore considered successfully treated) if you've spent longer in survival mode. What the support needed to avoid ASPD is based on is getting you out of survival mode in time for your brain to socially develop properly. As the brain doesn't stop developing until around 25, my unprofessional behind would not be surprised if you could, in theory, be given enough respite that you can avoid ASPD for a couple years after that 18 starting line for diagnosis. And the less time you were in survival mode without adequate support to remove you from it, the lower chance antisocial traits would develop in the first place.

It is absolutely worth an attempt if you're able to start trying to get that support, but try to do it outside of the mindset of running from ASPD, bc that will ruin your brain's ability to focus on healing. In the meantime while you're getting that therapy to process, you can also be supplementing your therapy with researching and attempting to understand social cues and dances and all of that. If you're getting help and you're researching this, then even if you do end up having ASPD you'll have done a good amount of the heavy lifting to learn to best cope with it and have more typical relationships and social interactions with those around you.

No matter what, you have all the time in the world to heal to a very significant degree bc ASPD does respond to professional help to mitigate some of it's symptoms, so please don't let turning 18 discourage you from getting help. With or without ASPD, you deserve to heal from whatever trauma you've dealt with.

[appendectomy]

in terms of psychoanalysis i’m really going all in on james wilson ocd diagnosis.

i personally interpret his behaviour in relationships - being drawn to needy people, leaving when he feels he’s not needed anymore - as due to a hyperinflated sense of responsibility, something people with ocd have to really battle with to approach their relationships healthily and prevent codependency. you see someone with a problem and you physically can’t walk away, because seeing it and not getting involved feels like neglect. long post, more below the cut.

i interpret it this way - instead of say, him being drawn to needy people purely because he likes playing saviour - because i think a lot of the time, especially with his brother, wilson actually experiences quite a lot of anxiety over taking care of others. i think he feels obligated to do it as averse to fulfilled by doing it, which is why he struggled so hard to support his brother and carries that guilt almost his whole adult life. you can see this in amber too - he wasn’t happy at the prospect of buying her the mattress she liked to make her feel cared for. he was extremely nervous about it, afraid to make the wrong decision and make her feel bad. he is constantly grappling with this intense motivation to be a 'good' partner, a 'good' friend, a 'good' doctor, a 'good' person, and it comes across as an intrusive and obsessive preoccupation with morality to me more than anything. he takes antidepressants because of his job, that feels more like obligation to be a saviour to me than fulfillment from helping people.

i feel like wilson is drawn to neediness because his brain tells him he HAS to stay or something bad will happen - like it did with danny - but when he realises his partners/friends dont need him anymore, he leaves not because he doesn't feel fulfilled anymore but because he realises he doesn't actually like the person. he was staying with them out of obligation, and once that obligation fades there really isn't much reason to stick around. this is also supported by the fact that bonnie says wilson's pattern isn't to initiate relationships - he kind of... falls into them and gets stuck.

i also think that even though house and wilson's relationship is mainly built on love, this also plays a pretty big role in it. but it works for house. house is perpetually needy, and wilson is perpetually obligated to be his saviour. wilson is constantly there for house, even when he doesn't want to be, even when house tells him to go away, because wilson is his only friend and house can be legitimately dangerous which probably dials any obsessive-compulsive behaviour to 11. because if wilson isn't there for house, there actually is a chance something bad will happen. but house also acommodates wilson in their living situations, and he doesn't need coddling which is probably a bit of a relief. wilson doesn't need to tread on eggshells around house because no way is house ever actually going to leave. house also encourages wilson to do things for himself for a change instead of worrying about everyone else, which helps him break the cycle a little. people with ocd want control to feel stable, but house perpetually undermines that control which stops the unhealthy behaviour from manifesting. it's a real mixed bag with him.

other evidence i've collected that supports this interpretation: wilson has hinted-at hoarding tendencies with useless items his patients give him, he has a proccupation with health thats a little unusual even for a doctor, he has an obsessive approach to his appearance, he is such an extreme perfectionist that sam makes fun of him by saying he's 'being so ocd', he cannot easily make simple decisions like choosing furniture, he approaches all the relationships in his life with a strange intensity. plus my own personal projection <3

[oldladynerd]

Well fuck.

Just need a little self pity session here. Feel free to ignore. And yes, I'm fully aware others have it worse. Like my child currently in a bipolar depressive episode of more than a year.

I'm not totally sure what's going on. Maybe a regular depression despite medication. Maybe some sort of burn out. Just mostly paralysed, sitting in my sofa corner. Occasionally crying, but mostly numb. Or anxious and quiet.

Went home from work before noon on Monday. Tried going back on Thursday, but left after half the day. Managed to get some things done, which didn't require much thinking, but as soon as I needed to make decisions, I was out. Complete nope.

Maybe the little things were adding up? The inspection at work (I was in the back office pulling out data and documents, never had to front), which went super well. A bunch of evaluations I need to do, which are not showing a tidy picture. Bunch of configuration changes that need approval before doing them. Worry about my (grown up, moved out and engaged) child (but bipolar). Shame about not keeping in touch with dad much. Gaining weight. 2 kg in about a month is a bit much. Aches and pains, although right now that's better. High blood pressure. Maybe it's all menopause? And shame over not quitting cigarettes. Most days, 3. On a bad day up to five cigarettes. It's not a lot. I should be able to quit. But am lacking willpower.

I do have a psychiatrist appointment next week, at the adhd clinic, because at my last request for renewing my antidepressants they realised it's been 3 years since i saw someone. Will bring up that list of signs of autistic shut down, where I checked off more than half. Might look at autistic burn out too, since this is slower than immediate shut down. Maybe ask for some adhd medication, I stopped methylphenidate abruptly because of blood pressure after a year, and have no adhd meds since then. My evaluation five years ago showed tendencies of autism, but not enough for diagnosis.

I also have an appointment with the GP, the week after next. Will try to remember all my physical issues then. Maybe hormones might help.

Oh well. I shall survive, for sure. It would be nice to feel a little happier though. The occasional moment of joy.

[dailymolars]

I was Deadpool at a Halloween party today and I had a lot of fun and got to hang out with friends I haven't seen in a bit but I forgot to take my anxiety meds (I fear they may also be treating depression but that I dont have time or energy to figure that out. I'm on antidepressants anyway so like what's the point) on Friday and there's like a (roughly) 2 day delay so they stopped working like immediately after and I'm currently having like the absolute WORRSSTTT post hangout comedown and am also afraid of nothing in particular. like why does it feel like I'm being hunted for sport and like no one likes me dude I JUST came from a party where I had a great time why am I overthinking again I moved past this!!!! ugh I hate the forgetfulness of ADHD cause it fucks me over like this all the time I have delt great for AGES cause I was taking my meds and now my absolute dumbassery has caused me to be all sad and like very worried for no reason. alas. I will sleep it off

[moonlight-tmd]

So i've talked about how Bee has ADHD. I also mentioned him having depression in another distant post. Today i will expand on the thought-

Bee did not have a happy life before he met his friends. He was neglected and abused as a Sparkling and never had anyone to care for him which resulted in him basically growing up on the streets and having to teach himself to write, read and all that stuff. He didn't grow big because of malnutrition, which made him into a minibot- which was basically an error in the manufacturing that the gov't incorporated as another frame type.

Bee has a lot of sparklinghood trauma from what i've told. Even as a tiny bitty still in the carequarters, he had thoughts about how would it feel like if he was just gone. No one wanted him so he just kept thinking while staring into the heating forge while doing his chores. He ended up running away and growing up homeless. He tried to land jobs but failed cuz he was defected and basically had no emotions. Until one bar let him work and the owner caught onto the little bot's behavior. He was the one that got him an appointment and a place to stay at cuz Bee told him he didn't have any. So Bee got his emotions "unlocked" and finally got the chance to live somewhat normal life. But not for long because the bar was shut down for some reason and he ended up applying in the higher academy with military program. He met Bulkhead then and they became friends.

It was somewhat of a relief from the constant suffering on his mind, he actually got better. Then he met his other friends and Sari, life was good... but then, he started spiralling down again. Wasp was back and Sentinel has come to Earth seemingly to keep tormenting him. On top of that Decepticons also made his life a pain with their lines...

I know that i said Prowl is the unpaid therapist of the group and he is. But stuff like personal trauma is not the stuff he gets to hear, Bee only comes to him when he needs serious advice. I actually think Arcee would be the one to diagnose Bee with depression.

After she got saved from 'cons trying to reprogram her she sticks with team prime for a while, which gives her opportunity to interact with the others. She was a former teacher and had a degree to be a trehapist at her academy, even tho she mostly interacted with older sparklings she knew what to look for if one had something going on. And that's exactly what she saw when she was around Bee; the way he carried himself sometimes just told her something was up with him. And so she offered to talk with him in private, then she brought up something being off with him and if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't at first but got persuaded with her kind words and the fact she was a professional like Ratchet.

... Arcee could not have gotten a diagnosis so fast in her entire career.

The longer Bee spoke the more trauma and issues were uncovered. And those issues ran so deep it became a serious mental issue right there. Arcee took notes and later presented them to Ratchet who outright felt stupid for not noticing it faster. They both had Bee sit in medbay and talk with them after that. Bee felt so bad for letting his issues weight onto them but Arcee was quick to comfort him and tell him it's okay to ask for help.

So, on top of the ADHD meds he was prescribed when Ratchet discovered he had ADHD, he was also given antidepressants. Since the cybertronian time is a bit different from earth i say he had to take the pills every 3 earth days. Given that Ratchet made him set a repetitive reminder in his system it also made him take the ADHD meds that he often forgot to take.

He also was given free therapy appointment with Arcee when she left back on Cybertron. They'd have a video call once every 2 weeks or something and go over things that happened. It helps.

I imagine a scenario where someone catches him taking all the meds and they're very worried cuz Bee nor Ratchet told them about needing to take meds. And Bee is assuring them that he's fine.

"Look, I'm okay- that's what these are for! They help me feel better. There's nothing to worry about!" Bee says with the most assuring tone one have. He also tells them to not talk about it cuz he doesn't want everyone knowing he has issues like that.

[brienneoftarth1989]

Hey guys little update! So I’ve been put on a new antidepressant which is making me sleepy and giving me more headaches. Apparently are normal side effects and should ease off in time. I will try my best to post as much as I can but my posts may be a little spread out. Still taking requests though!

Bullied

Miranda Hilmarson x fem reader

Summary: Miranda is getting fed up with work. She is teased and bullied all day at work due to her height and looks. To make things worse her partner at work Robin just makes everything harder. Thankfully you as her friend were always there for her and would make an effort every night to go to her so she could vent about her day.

Warnings: None

Requests open

———————————

Miranda has always been used to bullies. She had experienced it a lot growing up as a child all because she was taller than most girls her age and therefore making her different. She thought that as she got older that the bullying would stop but boy was she wrong. Then when she got into her line of work, again believed that the bullying would stop but she was wrong once again.

She was getting sick of it all. Her colleagues have never seemed to like her. They called her a man due to her height and androgynous looks. They also didn’t like her personality. She was way too bubbly for their liking so would tease and make fun of her. Some days they would ignore her all day even when she was trying to communicate with her colleagues.

You would like to think that she would just quit her job and find a new one but she has tried that before and the outcome would still be the same. For some reason she just couldn’t make friends at work. So when she finally found a job she liked she decided to just stick around and deal with the bullying because she knew that if she left it would just start again at her new place of work.

To top things off she has recently been partnered with a new detective called Robin and for whatever reason they don’t seem to be getting on well either. Miranda tried to be nice but Robin wouldn’t open up and now takes every little problem that happens in the case out on Miranda and she was having enough.

There are some days where it all just gets too much and she thinks to herself what is the point? Why bother fighting anymore when all she gets back in return is hate. The only person who has ever been there for her was you.

You and Miranda have been friends since you were teenages. You met at high school after the two of you were partnered together for a school project. You honestly didn’t think a friendship would develop between the two of you, not because you didn’t like Miranda but because you were very introverted and she was very extroverted.

You were both considered outcasts by your peers and that was one thing you could bond over. The more time you spent with one another the more you realised how much you both had in common. Fast forward 10 years later and the two of you were closer than ever. You knew that Miranda was struggling mentally at the moment and you wanted to do your best to support her.

You knew first hand dealing with your own depression and anxiety that support was important. So therefore you made it your task to visit Miranda each night after work providing that she wanted you to visit and you weren’t busy. It was always a fun night. Due to the amount of time you two would spend with each other you would take it in turns on who provided the drinks and snacks.

Tonight it was your turn. You had already received a text message from Miranda stating she really needed you to come round tonight. You were thankful that Miranda was your only friend so you never had to worry about plans clashing.

Tonight you decided you were going to order Chinese food which you would collect on your way to Miranda’s for when she got off shift. You decided to order from your favourite Chinese restaurant Wing On. Your order was always the same, pan fried pork dumplings, crispy shredded beef, duck in plum sauce, beef chow mein, egg fried rice and of course prawn crackers which always came with every order.

To wash everything down you decided that a couple bottles of apple cider would do just nicely. You called the restaurant immediately knowing that you would have to wait to collect it. After placing your order you were told it would be about 45 minutes before you could collect which worked out perfectly. Miranda got off shift in half an hour which would give her time to freshen up after she finished her shift. You decided it was best to text Miranda to let her know what was going on.

[ You ] Ordered Chinese for dinner tonight. Will be ready to collect in 45 minutes so will pick it up on the way to your apartment. Also have apple ciders to drink.

[ Miranda ] Ooooo that sounds nice. Ok well let me know once you have collected the food and I will make sure I’m ready for your arrival.

[ You ] Ok see you shortly.

You put your phone down and got yourself ready for the evening. Yes you were only going to see Miranda but you still had to walk down the streets, to the Chinese restaurant before you would even arrive at her apartment. Therefore you decided on having a quick shower before putting on minimal makeup and doing your hair.

You checked the time and realised it was getting close to the collection time so you put on your shoes and grabbed a jacket before heading out the door. The Chinese restaurant was only a 10 minute walk away so you put on your headphones and headed down to the restaurant.

When you finally arrived you gave them your order number to which they responded it would be another 5 minutes. You didn’t mind. You were in no rush so you sat down in a chair and texted Miranda.

[ You ] Just at the Chinese restaurant. Gonna be another 5 minutes until the food is ready and then will be round to you. So probably another 15 minutes.

[ Miranda ] Ok cool. See you shortly

You liked the message letting Miranda know you had seen it before scrolling through your phone.

“Order number 85” a young woman called out. You looked up to where the voice came from before standing up to grab the food. “That will be $45.24 all together. Would you like to pay cash or card?” they asked you.

“Cash please” you said, grabbing your purse and pulling out a handful of notes and some coins trying to get as close to the amount owed as possible. “Keep the change” you said, grabbing the bag of food and heading to Miranda’s apartment.

When you finally arrived you let yourself into her apartment. You too are so close now that formalities have been thrown out the window. “Miranda I’m here” you shouted through her apartment as you walked into the kitchen placing the food onto the countertop.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Today has been hell for me” Miranda said as she walked into the kitchen, grabbing the two bottles of cider before opening and pouring it into two glasses.

“Well, let's plate up this food and you can tell me all about it” you said, unpacking the bag and spreading the hot containers along the counter top. The two of you plated up the food you wanted before grabbing your drinks and heading into the living room so you could let Miranda talk about her day.

“So what made today so bad” you asked before shovelling some food into your mouth which made you let out an enjoyable moan.

“Well, where do I even begin?” she laughed as she too had a mouthful of her dinner. “Lets see, well first it started with my colleagues that always seem to tease me for no reason. I overheard them say to Robin, my partner, that she works with a freak and believe it or not that I am a woman and not a man” she sighed.

You could tell that she was getting sick of her workplace and you were getting sick of knowing all these things which you could do nothing about. If you had it your way you would go down to the station and tell them all what’s what but you knew that it would just make things worse for Miranda.

“That’s ridiculous Miranda. I really don’t know why you don’t say anything to your supervisor. There must be something they can do” you tried to plead with her. “I’ve tried y/n, I really have but the problem is they are all friends so they don’t do anything because really they just don’t care” she said to you.

“Ok then, what about finding a new job?” you asked her. “Like I’ve said before, it's the same for me no matter where I go. Plus I like this job. There is always something new to do so might as well stay in a job I like even if my colleagues treat me like shit” she laughed but you could hear the pain behind it.

“Ok then, well what else happened today” you sighed knowing that she was stubborn and wouldn’t really listen to your suggestions. “Umm..well after that me and Robin got called in for a meeting with our supervisor” she said before taking another mouthful of food. “Yeah and how did that go?” you asked her.

“It went horrible. I basically got accused of being a crap partner and that she would rather be working with anyone else. The bitch hasn’t even given me a chance. I’ve tried to, trust me, she just doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. I don’t know what else I can do to please that woman” she huffed, getting angry at just the thought of it all.

“Have you tried a bonding exercise?” you asked your friend trying to calm her down anyway you could. “Oh I’ve mentioned it a number of times. I’ve suggested many types of bonding exercises and she won’t try any of them. Her exact words were ‘I don’t need to do a bonding exercise with you because you won’t be my partner for much long’.”

“That bitch!” you basically yelled. “I know tell me about it” Miranda said while rolling her eyes. “Is there any way you can switch partners?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink. “Not if I want to keep my job at the station. Plus I’m currently on an active case which means there is no chance of me swapping partners” Miranda half smiled at you.

“That sucks then” you said, giving her a small smile trying to show your comforting side. “Yeah it is. This case also sucks as well. Robin won’t listen to any of my suggestions but she still manages to use them but claiming the idea as her own. I’ve helped solve half of this case and not been credited with a single thing” she moaned, now getting angry at Robin for stealing her ideas.

“That truely does suck Miranda. Once this case has closed, try and see if you can trade partners” you said to Miranda. “Yeah, I’m going to try and see if they can trade because I’m getting sick of working with that woman. Tomorrow I have to go down to the beach with them all as they believe the suspect will be down there. The sooner this case is over the better” she sighed.

“Well take it one day at a time. They can only get better and you know that I will always be here for you no matter what happens” you said smiling at your friend. “I’m glad I have you y/n. I don’t know what I would do without you” she smiled back at you.

The rest of the evening flew by. You continued to talk about both of your lives as you finished your dinner and drinks. By the time the night came to an end it was almost 23:00. You grabbed your belongings before getting a taxi home. It wasn’t a long walk home but at this time of night and considering your friend was dealing with an active murder case you decided it was better to get a taxi home instead of walking.

Once you arrived home you got changed and jumped straight into bed. You only hoped that things would get better for your friend.

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

December 15,2023

Hey babes! This week was amazing I am so happy I have created this blog I love being a blogger. I've wanted to create one for yearssss but I never got the time to do it and didn't know what to base my blog on. I love seeing other girlies on the same journey of self-improvement<3.

♡Education♡

The semester is officially over for me on Saturday I am so excited I need this break because school in general can be so stressful and I need this time to relax and pour into myself more I'll probably be uploading here more frequently while on break. 

♡Mental♡ 

I started antidepressants a little over a month ago and have been loving my journey on them my mind is clearer and I don't feel that little gray cloud following me anymore. I am present and not constantly worrying about others and things that I can't control. This is my first time using medication to finally have control over my mental health. Other than that my mental health has been so good. If you deal with seasonal depression you got this girl it's tough. Trust me I get it I've dealt with seasonal depression and anxiety for years and my inbox is always open for a chat but I ask before you tell me your problems ask how I'm feeling in the moment <3

♡Physical♡

I have been super consistent with my diet! Eating clean and working out every day I have been lifting 3 times a week. I didn't get to lift today because I am currently at work while typing this lol but I will make up for it by lifting tomorrow. I am currently fasting trying to make up fasts from Ramadan before Ramadan comes around again in March and I'm not going to lieeee it has been helping me look extra snatched now! Like I woke up looking in the mirror like yesss but fasting has so many benefits besides keeping you snatched it helps a lot internally as well. I recently ordered some items for my gut health journey and it's at the post office so I'm going to pick it up tomorrow super excited! This is unrelated but last night I didn't want to get out of bed to do my nightly skincare routine but I forced myself to remember my goals so I'm proud of that.

♡Hobbies♡

I have been consistent with my Italian lessons on Duolingo which I highlyyyy recommend for anyone trying to learn a new language the way its set up is perfect for me with the colors and drawing it feels like a game to me lol. I haven't been reading like I was supposed to I think I only read 2 times this week that’s super baddd I need to stay on top of it. I have been blogging consistently and I love seeing you girlies reflagging and hearting my content it means a lot and I def need to do a Q&A I’ll drop one next week for sure. I want to invest in soap making as a new hobby for me it looks like so much fun! 

♡Plans For The Weekend♡

I have a trip coming up next week I'm going to Maryland for a convention with a couple of friends from the 23 to the 27. I am super excited it's going to be so much fun. So this weekend I'm getting a lot of things together. I have to look for a few of my outfits for my trip and I'm waiting for my shoes to come. Also, I have my final this Saturday and an appointment with my OBGYN ladies don’t forget to book appointments for your check-ups your inner health is super important please take care of yourselves!

This was this week's little journal entrieee not that much occurs in my life but I still love the little update I gave you ladiesss. Comment your plans this weekend and how did your week go?

[linaselandbasil]

Eldarya boys as roommates.

Nevra: Has a lot of stuff he doesn't want you to touch but they're literally everywhere, you will inevitably have to touch it to make way. He'll keep the house clean if he has a date coming over though, which happens every few days to every few weeks. He has a lot of expensive stuff, so he's watching you with concern when you walk by his antique table lamp he decided to put on a coffee table, or his handwoven Persian rug that was passed down from his late father to him, or the irreplaceable framed picture Karenn drew of them when she was 6. Also, Karenn. Shes at his place maybe every other day? She never stops talking but that's fine, at least Nevra isn't bothering you. He thinks he's mysterious and dark, but he's simply a goth chatter machine.

Ezarel: Always annoyed by something you just did because he was planning something and you ruined it. He'd need to be at the edge of death before he disrespects your boundaries. He could be literally bleeding out and he'd avoid going to your room and waking you up because that's rude. He makes messes but they absolutely cannot be cleaned up, otherwise he can't find what he needs. He brings his work home a lot, there's documents and alchemical formulae on the kitchen table because why not? Why shouldn't he read his research notes on fungi based aphrodisiacs while eating dinner? He often comes home with his fringe burned, legend says his hair is like that because he forgot to tie it up and something exploded.

Leiftan: Very polite, he did nothing wrong in his entire life, he's a literal angel... But he's never home and his cat is a bitch and you're gonna have to feed that thing pretty regularly. When he comes home the cat is also an angel, but the bite marks and the piss stains remain. All his clothes are white or grey so he's done for the week in one or two loads, he's great at cooking (for eldarya standards anyway) and he sweeps up his cats hair every time he sees it. He's great.

Lance: You'll probably never be his roommate because he always lives with his brother. He's never home, he's always up to some bullshit, he's got no job most of the time but he has money somehow? Probably from Valkyon. You'll never have to worry about burglars, he'll eat them whole. He leaves his big ass shoes everywhere and you'll probably trip on them. He's usually a tidy person but by the end of the day he just wants a nap. Also, this creature is simultaneously a night owl and an early bird. Does he even sleep? How is he so muscular? Did you know sleep is detrimental to muscule development? Hmmm? I've never seen him sleep.

Valkyon: He has so many drugs, you'd start praying that the cops never show up. He's also that one bitch who has expensive liquor out on the top of the shelf to let people know he has a problem but he still has taste. He's not home most of the time because he's out getting laid somewhere. He's never late with rent either, but the cash is always sticky. He hates it when people come over but he also hates not minding his business so he shuts up about it. It doesn't matter what he's having, it could be antidepressants, but he'll ask you if you want sum'. That's some brother behavior right there.

Mathieu: He's a gym bro and he always has his gym friends over and they're playing video games while you're trying to live life like a normal person but there's 4-6 shredded dudes and girls in your living room every weekend. He's a Kevin, sadly, but he means well. (Search stories about Kevin, you'll understand) He ran into Lance at the gym and now he smokes weed too so he smells like skunk every once in a while. He'll cook nice meals for you, which is nice unless he Kevins it up.

[frogofalltime]

day 8

today started off pretty good, i got up as soon as my alarm rang, had breakfast, got ready, took my meds etc

today my dosage was increased which is a bit scary but i can't say for certain if it's made anything better or worse

around midday i walked to the students union to meet my friends and on the way there i suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left side underneath my ribs. i have had some pain there since the weekend, it was hurting when i coughed, but this new pain was constant and much worse. it made it hard to walk but i didn't have much further to go so it was okay

we held some beautiful creatures at the students union !!! i never imagined that i would one day have a skunk asleep curled up on my lap but here we are. i was so happy that i forgot about the pain for a while.

afterwards i walked home because we had an online statistics exam at 1pm. however the pain got worse and worse and it was really hard to keep walking. i felt like i was going to throw up.

when i got home i procrastinated for a while before finally starting the exam. i was in a lot of pain which made it really hard to focus. luckily i get extra time and rest breaks in exams, because of disability accommodations, so i was able to take breaks to move around, go to the bathroom, eat lunch, etc.

i finished the exam, it took me around 2 and a half hours. i think i did well but i am not sure because the pain was so bad and it was distracting me a lot. i didn't want to take painkillers because i'm already on two medications and i feel like i have enough weird stuff in my bloodstream

i was going to go to a local protest for palestine with @wiggles-mcgee but it hurt too much to move so i had to stay home, unfortunately. i felt quite upset about this and i felt like i was stuck.

my mother called me and i told her what happened and she says i probably pulled a muscle at the weekend from coughing too violently and then it was triggered today when i was walking ?? idk. she told me to rest as much as possible and not leave the house until it feels better.

after she put the phone down i procrastinated for a few hours because i was going to study and then cook dinner but i didn't have the energy to do either of those things (because i had socialised then sat an exam and then talked on the phone, all of which take a lot of energy from me)

then i got a message from @etherealspacejelly saying they were feeling really bad side effects of the meds and had to go to hospital. so of course that made me panic a lot, especially since i couldn't go with him because i live 10 minutes away and i literally can't walk

i had a pretty bad meltdown. it lasted quite a while. when that finally subsided i was feeling far too sick to cook or eat. and i was also still very worried and constantly checking my phone. i couldn't do anything else because of anxiety.

also i found out you're not supposed to take adhd medication if you're on antidepressants or have mental illnesses ?? but my doctor prescribed it to me anyway even though i have all those things ??

i talked to robin for a while and they realised that i hadn't eaten and encouraged me to get some food. so i had some soup and toast and nuts at around 2am. which is a weird time to eat a meal, i know, but it had been over 12 hours since lunch and i couldn't sleep anyway so it made sense

now i'm procrastinating washing my dishes. robin is finally home from the hospital after many hours. the doctor said it's okay and the meds should settle down in a few weeks ?? which kind of sucks because why would you have to keep taking medications that make you ill ?

i'm going to wash my dishes and then i think i will shower before i go to bed because i feel very weird and my head hurts and my eyes are all puffy so maybe it will help. it's literally 4am. yeehaw

honestly i was very unproductive today but that's because i went to meet the animals in the morning, had an exam in the afternoon and i was in so much pain, and then the hospital situation happened, so i definitely have an excuse. also i am worried about having a similar reaction to the medication as robin, because he is feeling very unwell from it, and i don't want that to happen to me as well :/

so yea stay tuned for more updates i really hope the pain in my left side goes away soon so i don't have to visit the hospital too

[foxys-left-foot]

Life update / vent under the cut

Trigger warnings for depression, period mentions, etc

Hey everyone. Lately I have not been doing so hot. I just up and quit my job today and my life is a shit show. I'm planning on moving in with my boyfriend soon and it's not going to be easy. He lives an hour away from me, which means I'll be an hour away from everything I once knew. Yes I know I can visit or call my family, but it will still be hard to adjust.

Why I quit my job today was a matter of me not being able to tolerate the way they treat me. I was overwhelmed and overworked today and they basically told me to deal with it. I needed help bringing carts in but they refused to get anyone to help. I bust my ass every single day I'm there and they don't recognize me for it at all.

They'll give shout-out cards to people who do mediocre things, like help a customer with a sale or help lift a pallet. I don't get any of that for any of my hard work, and it does a number on my self esteem. It makes me feel worthless in my own workplace, despite the fact that I used to love working there.

Luckily I have found other means of employment, and I'll hopefully start soon, but it's up where my boyfriend lives and there's no guarantee I'll get the job. Next, I just entered a new counseling facility and need refills on my medication. My one med, clonidine, is what I use to sleep. Without it, I literally cannot sleep.

However, since I'm new, i have to wait for a referral to the doctor there from my therapist. The front desk said they'd call me once they got the all-clear, but it still worries me because I don't want to run out of pills. Believe me when I say I turn into quite the bitch when I don't get any sleep.

Then my antidepressants aren't doing anything for me either. Hell, today has been enough of an emotional rollercoaster --- I had a sudden wave of depression wash over me before I clocked in that lasted for about two hours. I couldn't find the effort to smile, act friendly towards customers, or even talk today. It was that bad.

It cleared up eventually, but it was replaced by frustration from my stressful workload. I was the only lot attendant at the store today, and I had to be a thousand places at once. After my frustration cleared up, it was replaced with depression again. I'm even depressed as I write this.

I tried playing my bass to hopefully cheer myself up, but that did very little to help. In fact I didn't get very much joy out of it at all, which usually never ever happens. Not only do I have to worry about my pills, but I'm out of overnight pads as well, and I had cramps so bad yesterday they made me feel nauseous.

My birth control patches are honestly doing more harm than help. They do prevent me from getting pregnant, yes, but they also increase the frequency and severity of my mood swings and the frequency and severity of my cramps. This is because they're a hormone based treatment. I almost cried from the pain I was in yesterday because I thought I was dying.

Right now I'm on Lexapro for my depression. It does not help. The thing that frustrates me is that I don't want to go through medication after medication, only for it to not work. It truly makes me feel hopeless when it doesn't work, because I worry that my depression cannot be treated.

My depression makes me feel like I'm trapped in a shell, inside my own head, with no clear way to get out. With all the stress in my life right now, it only gets worse. I almost didn't eat dinner tonight it was so bad. It's heartbreaking to experience, because I give my brain life, a body --- and it tells me to kill myself.

In fact, today at work, my brain told me to hang myself. That no one would miss me if I killed myself right now. But my boyfriend, whom I love and care about very much, would. It's very heartbreaking to have a brain that doesn't love you back.

A brain that wants you to do horrible horrible things to yourself. Cut yourself. Scratch yourself. Stab yourself. Drink yourself to death. Die of an overdose. Run into oncoming traffic. Starve yourself. It doesn't want you to accomplish anything by doing any of this, it just wants you to ruin yourself more so it can find new ways to torture and belittle you.

Honestly if I make it past next week at this rate I will be surprised. I feel like nothing will help me and that I will, inevitably, off myself one day. Don't get me wrong, I have family and friends who love me so. But it's just so hard to stay alive when your life is falling apart.

[the-night-writer1]

When It's Date Night

New ship name HotStarDragon (Red Boy x Shanyao x Mei)

When mei and Red boy decided to team up on a grand gesture for Shan.

It was a thursday afternoon as Mei and Red boy sat at a cafe trying to come up with a plan. Lately their partner and the main brain cell of this three way had been in the absolute dumps. Neither of them knew what had him so down but they both wanted to cheer him up.

Red boy had been the one to notice first and tried to point it out sooner to Pig tails but she'd thought he was talking about Mk. Which true Mk was also in the dumps but he was on the mend since he was seeing the bull family therapist. Great for Monkie kid who was instantly put on an antidepressant medication and anxiety medication. Red Boy's concern laid on their partner due to his history of dangerously bottling up emotions.

The last time he bottled up his emotions it wasn't pretty and Red boy found him crying from exhaustion. Shan had worked 5 straight days with no sleep and had failed to fix the rice cooker. It wasn't even broken, Shan hadn't plugged it in. He'd hallucinated Pigsy telling him it wouldn't turn on. Red boy was horrified.

The two partners of Shan's wanted to make sure that never happened again. Thus they were brain storming ideas.

"We could get him a new tool box" Mei suggested as she popped a chip in her mouth. She was waiting on a tea refill while Red boy sighed ," What Shanny needs a new bigger one right?"

" Pig tails he just got a new one from Pigsy for his and mk's birthday 2 months ago " Red boy said as he leaned back in his seat. They both had a lot of money, yet all Mei came up with was a new toolbox? Maybe she was right about getting him something but it had to be big ," maybe we could do something bigger?"

"How big?" Mei asked as a waiter brought over her tea. Yes they were at a fancy cafe. They were both rich bitches and right now it was just the two of them so they didn't have to worry about the price tag," like new bike big?"

" no no no he'd never accept a new bike he's still working on night light." Red boy said as he rubbed his chin," maybe a change of place?"

"Give him a spa day?" Mei suggested before sipping from her straw. A good spa day always did her some good. Red boy thought it over for a moment.

"Nah it might trigger his dysmorphia Pig tails. You know have how he is when even Macaque seeing him without a shirt" Red boy said as he stole a nacho from Mei. They needed something that ease Shan's nerves without setting off different nerves. Mei had a point though being pampered might help.

"But you are on to something Pig tails. We should pamper him. I could probably get a hot tub" Red boy stated as he thought about it. Mei also thought of ways they could pamper Shanyao. Shanny did like hot tubs, maybe they could also cook his favorites and a movie but that was just a date. It only have a temporary affect because he'd return to his room at the shop. That's when an idea hit them both.

"New penthouse!" Mei yelled as she pointed at Red boy in excitement.

" New penthouse exactly!!" Red boy said as he pulled out his phone and started looking at available penthouses to buy,"with multiple floors!"

"And a good kitchen! Definitely needs that" Mei said as she got up and looked over Red Boy's shoulder, " Ooo and a place for his bikes!"

"And a work shop obviously! It's got have a good location too so he doesn't have to go to far away from Pigsy and Tang" Red boy said as he was looking at places on his phone. Yes these two very rich people were going to buy a penthouse or an entire building to build the perfect penthouse for their boyfriend. Who would have had a heart attack at how much money they were going to drop on him.

It took a few weeks as they had to buy a building, use bull clones and their own sweat and tears but eventually Red boy and Mei made the perfect penthouse for Shanyao. It had a great kitchen, garage, multiple bedrooms, a hot tub with a movie screen, a good living room and you could see Pigsy's noodles from the window. Did they go overboard? Definitely. At least it was finally done and they bring Shanyao here.

-----

"We got a surprise for you" Mei basically sung out bouncing with each step she took. Red boy was leading their blindfolded partner to the elevator, " and I bet you're going to love it!"

"Oh now I'm curious" Shanyao said cheerfully as he quickly noticed the elevator. Red boy had been just as vocal in the car that they'd been working on this for him. So they definitely weren't at the weather station or Pinstripe. He was blindfolded in the car so he didn't know where they were just that his boyfriend and girlfriend were up to something.

"Definitely gonna love it" Red boy said as he kissed Shan's cheek. Gently holding him by the shoulders while Mei pressed the fancy button which was right next to the sweet potato button. That button brought you to the garage. The fancy nightsky colored button which Mei pressed brought them to the main floor of the penthouse.

"Okay you put the blindfold on Pig tails so I get to take it off" Red boy teased as the dragon huffed playfully.

"Fine but I want to give him a kiss first!" Mei teased back giving Shan a few kisses happily. Shanyao was so red in the face. Neither of them been this affectionate in weeks so color Shan surprised already.

Then they lead him out of the elevator and removed the blindfold. The first thing Shan saw was the "welcome home Cinnabun" banner. He then looked to his two very wealthy partners who were beaming.

"Surprise!" Red boy and Mei said in excited unison. Red boy then scooped Shanyao up to carried the shocked man around.

"W-what " Shanyao muttered in confusion and shock as he was carried by Red boy to the room where they had everything set up for a movie night.

"We made you a perfect penthouse!" Mei said Shan was looking around wide eyed," don't worry we're covering everything! We plan on living here too."

"We noticed how sad you've been lately so we figured a change in living space help a lot" Red boy said with a warm smile. Shan started to tear up though it was happy tears," I know we promised a date night so we thought we'd dine in"

" yeah and since Mk isnt here we can do whatever movies we want" Mei stated happily.

"I love you both so much " Shanyao said as he wiped his eyes.