#also WHAT IN THE FLIP MISATO

[happyfunf3tti]

decided to watch the end of evangelion. im still on part 2 for the movie and OH MY GOSH

[viviettezheart]

Jealous ★ Shinji Ikari

Note! Smut?, jealousy, angst, y/n is the fourth child (characters aged up!!!)

💌

"I see so you're telling me your head over heels for shinji ikari!?" Asked Misato you with a grin before taking a hit from her cigarette. "What no!" You almost shouted as you blushed but then you looked down. "Mabye i don't Really know!? Like i get jealous when he talks to Asuka or Rei even tho i shouldn't get jealous over this stupid things like this!" You explained while your legs started to bounce up and down quickly while you picked on your bottom lip. A habit of yours when you get nervous or when your trying to express yourself because that's nothing you can do so easily.

"Mabye you should talk to him about it?" She raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. She threw her cig on the floor, stepped on it and put a hand your shoulder for you to calm down a bit. "I guess your right but what if-!" "Aht aht aht!" She stopped you by laying her finger on your lips for you to be quiet, what you then did.

You walked through Nerve's headquarters and saw Shinji talking to Asuka and its like if someone hits the jealous button, you get jealous all of the sudden and its making you think of all the times you been in this exact same situation. Shinji talks to someone else who is either a girl or an woman and you get instantly jealous. Asuka and Shinji stopped talking and you saw him coming in your direction. "hey ikari can we ehm mabye talk for a second?" You asked and he nodded not knowing your screaming inside your head. "Ehm okay how should i put it? I erm i get jealous!" "You get jealous? Jealous of what?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Jealous of you talking to other girls like Asuka or Rei and i know i have no right to get jealous since we aren't dating but i get jealous. Fuckk now its out and you know my secret and now you probably think i'm some crazy chick who is obsessed with you no its not that i-" "oh wow i wasn't expecting that!" He interrupted you with his reaction which left you wanting to sink in a deep puddle and never come up again. "I should probably go i-" "No wait (name)! I have to tell you something too!" "Oh really?" "Yes i also get jealous when you talk to our classmates especially when you talk to toji, i can see in his eyes that whenever he sees you he wants to fuck you." "I-" you were speechless until you just leaned forward and kissed his lips. To your surprise he kissed you too but to your misfortune Asuka saw you too kissing and she also always liked Shinji even tho she never showed it.

It was the next day after you kissed Shinji and Asuka has been acting really different lately, not that she stop talking about about you or anyone else but she also always looks in your direction like she expects you to say sorry but sorry for what?.

Asuka bumped into you in the school halls but you could clearly see that it was with intentions so you confronted it. "What is your fucking problem Asuka!?" You shouted after her but she didn't turned around just flipped you off with her middle finger. You rolled your eyes and walked in the opposite direction. "Mabye she saw me and you kissing Shinji and now she is upset about it?" You confessed to shinji who stroked your legs which where over his thighs.

"Babyy! And if she shes upset let her be!" He said and now stroked your thighs instead of your legs. His hands rolled up your short pyjama pants and started playing with the hem of your black lace panties. "Shinji not now?" "Why not? Come on baby!" "…Fine!" You agreed and laid down on your bed. It was dark, the only light in your room was the moonlight shining through your windows. Shinji pulled down your shorts + panties and began fingering you, two fingers rubbing your clit. He mabye doesn't know how to comfort but he definitely does know how to fuck.

You laid your arm over your eyes and just let Shinji do his thing, a few quiet moans and gasps leave your mouth but you mind still wouldn’t shake of that fact the Asuka is jealous now that you and shinji are dating. “Ah~shinji c-coming!” You whined loudly and gasped again as you orgasmd on his fingers.

The alarm went off, signaling that a Angel was near by. The four of you were walking to your EVAs while wearing your thigh body suits. Yours were pink which matched your dark brown hair.

The angel crashed Asuka’s EVA and as you saw it happen you were stuck like a deer in headlights but once you snapped out of it you moved your EVA to hers. You exit your own EVA, risking your life but you didn’t care in that exact moment, all you cared about was saving Asuka and that’s what you did.

You turned the wheel which was extremely heavily but you manged to open it and pulled Asuka out of the yellow hot liquid.

Misato was yelling at you through the small headphones you had in your ear but you didn’t care and put Asuka in your EVA while Shinji and Rei killed the angel. Asuka was brought into the hospital room, you sat outside of of the hospital room waiting for the doctors to finish so you can know if she’s going to make it out or not. A few minutes later a doctor came outside and told you good news, Asuka is in a healthy condition but she needs to rest. You nodded and went to your home which you share with Misato, Shinji and Asuka.

It was already late at night, around 2ish in the morning. you were sitting at the table in your one shoulder off sleeping shirt and some shorts from Shinji. drool was escaping the side of your mouth, you had fallen asleep on the table with a beer bottle in your hand.

Suddenly the door opened, tearing you awake from your slumber. You looked up, eyes widening as you saw Asuka standing at doorway. You rushed to her and hugged her, “do you know how worried i was for you!?” “Thank you… and I’m sorry” she whispered and returned her hug which surprised you a lot since you thought she hates you. Your hand patted her hair as she cried on your shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m just happy that your still alive” you said and continued patting her.

Misato woke up and wanted to grab herself something to drink, beer of course but then she saw you two hugging so she stayed in her room watching the two of you get along for a few minutes.

[karizard-ao3]

Can you make up some shenanigans related to Shinji cooking / baking? Hikari, Asuka's best friend, also loves to cook if it helps

Okay, so I was thinking: what if it's Asuka's birthday? Hikari wants to throw her a party and Shinji does also so they join forces to plan her a German feast. The problem is that Shinji has tried to make her German food in the past but he put a Japanese spin on it because he followed a Japanese recipe and Asuka was kind of a bitch about it. So they are committed to authenticity, which means they have to make sausage and whatnot completely from scratch and a lot of the ingredients are not easy to get in Japan.

Asuka, not knowing why Shinji and Hikari keep traveling all over Japan together, is in an absolute snit. She's been talking about her birthday to everyone but no one seems to care??? Are Shinji and Hikari dating? Oh, she hates him so much!

They have to do the prep work at Hikari's house so she doesn't discover the strings of bratwurst and liverwurst or the jars of sauerkraut pickling.

Misato is charged with keeping her busy on the big day so she takes her shopping and Asuka complains the whole time and Misato keeps trying to gently imply she needs to chill but Asuka is not getting it.

Meanwhile, Toji and Kensuke have been enlisted to help cook and they are absolute disasters. Shinji has to keep dropping what he's doing to stop them from adding the wrong ingredients to the schnitzel or doing a complete hack job when they slice the cucumbers, which means Hikari needs to watch his pans as well as hers. Eventually, they kick Toji and Kensuke out of the kitchen and put them on decorating duty.

At some point Rei shows up with the karaoke machine and party hats and helps set the table. Kaji arrives with the cake right before Misato and Asuka get back. They turn out the lights and wait.

"Shinji is such an idiot!" Asuka is in the middle of shouting when Misato pushes open the door and Kaji flips on the lights.

"Surprise!" everyone shouts.

Asuka snaps her mouth shut, overwhelmed for a moment, then immediately starts chortling like, "I knew you were planning something for me all along! Of course you were! How could anyone forget my birthday?"

While they eat, Hikari tells Asuka how hard they worked to find everything for the meal, and that Shinji especially wouldn't give up, calling all these shops to see if they had what they needed to make Asuka's favorite foods from home. Asuka blows it off at the time, but after everyone goes home and everything is cleaned up (Kensuke and Toji are a lot better at washing dishes than cooking them), they turn on the TV. Asuka sits down next to Shinji and puts her head on his shoulder and mumbles, "thanks"

[curried-mermaid]

A Review: Onmyoji and Tengu Eyes - Spirit Hunters of Tomoe (Vol. 1)

Author: Yoshiko Utamine Publishers: Cross Infinite World Age Group: teen Genre: Shojo Mystery Type: Light Novel

Spoilers ahead

Plot

Paranormal incidents heat up when two mysterious men cross paths in Tomoe, a small town in Hiroshima with a long history of supernatural encounters. 

Misato Miyazawa is a strikingly beautiful young man with a troubled past. Born to a distinguished family of onmyoji—specialists in divination—Misato is no stranger to the occult. That’s why he jumps at the chance to join the Abnormal Disaster Unit in Tomoe’s Town Hall Crisis Management Division, a unit more commonly known as The Spirit Hunters. 

Enter Ryouji Karino, a fiery, handsome man with peculiar green and silver eyes. Working as a freelance monk and raised by a man claiming to be a tengu, Ryouji is by no means an average citizen. When he finds Misato in a sticky situation, he kindly steps in, and the mismatched pair end up living together. 

What dark mysteries will unravel before them as they attempt to confront paranormal happenings under the constraints of the government rules? 

Character Development

Misato wanted to be normal but coming from a family that’s like spirit hunter nobility made that really hard. Not only that, but he’s the son of his father’s mistress. He wasn’t treated well but realized his path was to also be a spirit hunter…just not one related to his father’s family. He is a soft spoken doormat of a person. Meeting Ryouji begins to change all of that as Ryouji accepts him and his ��pet” (a name given to the spirit attached to him by Ryouji). Misato begins to accept all parts of himself, including the snake spirit attached to him. 

Ryouji looks like the epitome of an American wannabe gangster from the 90s with baggy pants and outrageous colors. He always wears sunglasses to hide his “Tengu Eyes” as he calls them. His eyes allow him to see both reality and the metaphysical (spirit) world simultaneously. Ryouji is a friendly sort that likes to help others….even if it means sacrificing his own life. At the same time, he’s a bit of a drifter taking odd jobs like bartending. He tries not to get too close to people as he’s been burned before. Ryouji doesn’t remember anything from before he was taken care of by the man claiming to be a tengu. Even though he’s a drifter, it feels more like he’s on the run. 

World-building

The world-building is contemporary with a merging of old town versus newer development in Tomoe. There are a lot of restless spirits which makes it easy for Misato to have a job. On the flip side, Ryouji works for the local real estate agency dealing with stuff as well. It’s an interesting difference in dynamic. 

The descriptors for the various locations is fabulous. It gives you enough that you can really picture everything. After all, the original concept for this series (found in the Afterward) is “Daily Life in Tomoe”. I thought that this book was a bit slow in developing until I read the afterward. If it’s supposed to be a slice-of-life story originally, then it would make sense for it to be slow. We get a lot of building relationships between Misato and his higher-ups. We learn how his department works along with some major players in town. It gives a great backdrop for a town that feels like a small village that is hiding larger secrets. 

One interesting part of the world-building is chapter five. The author doesn’t explain what is happening until the end so it can be a little confusing. From a previous chapter Misato is accidentally hit with an exorcism spell, which causes his snake to separate from him. This causes problems from Misato as they’ve become one being. So he goes in and out of consciousness between his own and the snake’s until they’re united again. From this experience, Misato begins to accept the snake as part of himself. 

Themes

While the theme for this one is a bit harder to find, I would suggest that it be finding your tribe. Misato and Ryouji have both been through a lot that makes them weary of developing deeper connections. So for both of them to find each other and begin a deep friendship is a big deal. 

Observations & Predictions

Based on the character development between Ryouji and Misato, I expect a strong friendship to form between them. We get hints of this towards the end when Misato feels like he’s been betrayed when Ryouji just disappears…at the same time an Inugami is on the loose (an inugami is a spirit of an animal—usually a dog— that’s buried to its neck, starved, and given a piece of meat just out of reach so that it can be beheaded. The dark angry spirit that’s born is forced into service to whomever would do this ritual until the spirit is powerful enough to eat the caster). 

Ryouji’s feelings are he’s become attached to the quiet housemate more than he realized. My favorite part is when he asks a question out loud to himself before facing down the Inugami (which isn’t his) during the climax and Misato answers calling him an idiot. We are left in this first novel with Ryouji crying that all his prep work to handle things alone is gone to waste because Misato’s snake eats the Inugami. 

This shows the strong bond forming between them. 

Besides seeing their relationship develop more, I would love to see their cases cross. I would also love a deeper dive into what it’s like for Ryouji when he takes on cases. We get some of this in extra stories at the end, but seeing the dichotomy and parallel from different sides would be awesome. 

I can expect more world-building from this author as they’re doing a great job with it. Though it does slow the story down (remember to keep in mind it’s supposed to be a slice-of-life). Another thing we can expect is that Misato will have to face his family again. My hope is that with help from Ryouji, he’ll have the courage to step up to the plate to do so. Ryouji has accepted him in a way that no one, not even his family has. That part should be interesting. 

Recommendations

Watch for a Special Edition of the Second Installment!

More “friendship”:

The Night Beyond the Tricorrnered Window By: Tomoko Yamishita

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard By: Nanako Tsujimura

More Supernatural Action:

Bureau of Paranormal Investigation By: Er Dong Shui Shou

Jujutsu Kaisen By: Gege Akutami

[littleeyesofpallas]

it was a mistake to do the follow ups to these one batch at a time. a foolish decision.

Shocked Loly got voted down so hard, obviously she's got issues, and she's not even particularly one of my personal favorites or anything, but like clearly that's part of the appeal. Also suprised at Ginjo's performance on these, especially given that his bankai form got its own. I get not liking the mullet, that's fair, but I feel like the bankai rectifies that, not to mention the overall villain form. No Love for Love, really? Also absolutely shocked Luppi scored so low. An egregious disrespect to those hip windows. I'll admit the bangs aren't great but the cute little curls are to die for.

I just cant with people and their love of utterly featureless dead moms/wives. And i love Momo to death but she's just not a smash. girl needs therapy and like a vacation from work, but the girl does not need to be sexualized. Most of the rest of these seem pretty obvious though, both for me and the general concensus. Yeah yeah Mayuri fans are in the minority. Boo... Actually, you know what, in regards to miss Misato, the lack of respect for a modestly attractive teacher over a bunch of tragedy fodder madonna martyrs is shameful

Once again I just cannot jive with the fanbase's absolute garbo taste in wwomen with either zero personality zero autonomy. Nanao I'd have considered back during SS when she was still more of a corporate icequeen, even if the begrudging mommy/put upon secretary role would still have been a huge turn off. But the whole thing in the TYBW arc just ruins her character for me. I feel like I've complained about Nel enough on this blog that I don't need to go over this again: I would unironically rank screeching baby Nel over Neliel, even if they're still both a pass. Nemu I feel bad about, I don't dislike her general character, but again zero autonomy is not a turn on: Hard Pass. Ya'll are cowards not fucking with The Wind. I like his perma bed-head and his two tongues, and yeah even his goofy ass casual ahegao. I want to pull him by the hair. We all knew how the Nnoitra thing was gonna go; obviously not a popular pick but the girlies who got it bad got it bad bad. Nobutsuna is some kinda Thief and the Cobbler/Jafar Aladin/Rurouni Kenshin Udo Jinne ass ting going on and I'm not gonig to lie, I'm into it. The man looks like a whithered corpse but in a good way(?) It's not a super committed smash, but it's there. Honestly, Numb Chandellier I had to think about a little, but she's just the wrong kind of tentacle and the wrong kind of mind control. The heart eyes are cute tho (Category N also marks the first time I've managed a 0% Smash Approval Rating comparing my picks against the general consensus.)

This was a nice short batch with a pretty big split on almost every one. I'll admit, I had to stop and think about Nimaiya a little. When he ties his hair up in a samurai topknot and gets serious about blacksmithing I almost would, but his loud goofball pervert shtick is just not for me. Given the spit I think these are all safely decided, even though the last ones have a few days left. Nimaiya could still flip on me in the next like 24 hours tho...

looks like the R polls are prettymuch wrapped. I feel like i'd get flak for it but look, Unohana's cool and all but not like sexualized cool. And I'm just not into the fetishized servile and demure matronly thing. I feel bad Riku scored so low, he doesn't particularly feel like he deserves it, just not my type. Boy the bleach fans really hate the moustache huh? like it's not an overly enthusstic smash but I wouldn't not. Shocked at the cowards not wanting to fuck Rudbornn; he's a cool guy who you don't have to look at his face, what more do you want? All the benefits of just putting a brown paper bag on their head but what if the bag looked cool. The rest of these were just obvious picks

I'm cutting the Ss in half just because it's a lot. These seemed like pretty clear cut picks all around. Shukuro Tsukishima was a tough decisions because he's basically just me without my glasses and a different location for the forehead scar, and I just don't love myself enough to think of him as hot. But he does have his weird moment toward the end where he has a little too much fun messing with people's memories and I'm about that energy. Shawlong is verymuch contingent on his cool monster scissorhands form.

Been meaning to go back and take stock of my "score" on the ongoing @bleach-smashorpass, I've grayed out anything where my personal pick didn't match the popular outcome, and left the ones where I fall into the majority vote in color.

Look, I'll be real, I'm not above monsterfuckery, even if I don't consider it ""my thing"" but I'd have voted smash on Ayon if he didn't have his weird secret muppet face. Also Aaroniero was an extremely light smash, i really had to flip flop on that one a few times before making a choice. I'll be honest, I liked original Chapter25 epilogue Aisslinger way more than what we got in the Arrancar Arc, and if I could split the vote I'd smash original and pass on final design for him.

Bambi is just such a boring design, and honestly Batsuunsai isn't much better, but the glasses are cute. She was really close to being a pass.

I was actually surprised that I had to stop and think about Choe but his giant chin and tiny bowl cut were not doing him any favors. Also as much as I like Cyan as a character, there is just something about hime cuts that are an automatic off switch for me. the rest of these felt fairly obvious.

not gonna lie, little hurt by the lack of D-Roy and Dordonii love

Confused that people were so lukewarm on Findor, although it was a close split. Also oddly I could have sworn I passed on Furofushi... I'm not really a fan of pigtails, with very few exceptions, but when I went to check the poll results it said I voted smash. Maybe I was thinking she was feeling Hiyori adjacent enough to count it at the time? I.... I don't remember voting smash on Entetsu...

i feel very scandalized by having voted unpopularly on all these old men... I'll be honest, Gremmy is a very lukewarm smash, and the potential of the Visionary power as a sex thing was very much the deciding factor.

boy bleach fans really don't like moustaches, huh? So funny enough it wasn't until the anime that I realized Hidetomo has his multiple earrings and somehow that changed his whole vibe for me, but prior to that it would have been an easy pass. I absolutely cannot abide characters whose whole thing is being someones dead wife/girlfriend, even if she otherwise looks exactly like Rukia, who'll be a smash for sure once we get to the Rs.

i figured i'd be on the wrong side of the fence with the kurosaki men but it's a real hard no on all the above. I'll be real, I'm kinda surprised Ikkaku was so popular. The rest of these felt obvious. Oh wait no there was like no love for Izumi Ishida. Boo to that.

okay so hear me out... Jugram is too blond. I know that sounds like nonsense, but like, he's too fundementally blond. Like most of Bleach's blond characters could have other generally light hair colors, and it wouldn't super change their image or aesthetic, but Jugram has to be blonde because the alternatives don'teel the same, and that's too much blond for me.

i know i voted pass on ichigo, which might make smash on kaien seem weird, but it's between the personality difference and the eyelashes. People not smashing on Kiyone is a catastrophe

and with that i'm all caught up with the letters where all the polls that have already closed. i'll be back to update these as the rest keep rolling along. I dunno why I really did this apart from the compulsion

[xenosagaepisodeone]

ok 3.0+1.0 longpost -_-

it’s difficult for me to describe how I feel about 3.0+1.0 as a film because it’s artistic vision is just a 25 year cultivated response to the otaku fixation on nge. this film hardly feels like it can stand on it’s own feet as a coherent story -- it’s constantly introducing and reinterpreting symbols, contexts and concepts in order to lay down some kind of grounded world while also wanting to be evocative of the freeform flow of feelings occurring in EoE/Ep25/26. if this movie was it’s own thing and just living in the shadow of it’s predecessor, I could probably live with it and maybe even say that I liked it, but it’s flip flopping on if it wants the metanarrative to drive the story or if it wants to erect a new mythology of Eva altogether completely squanders maximizing the potential of doing either. what were left with is a very cowardly iteration of the message at the end of nge -- “human connections are important, even if they can be painful” becomes “ if we show you what you wanted to see for the past nearly 30 years, will you grow up now?”

"Defeated" feels like how I would describe the ethos of this film.

reiQ’s farmer adventures were cute, but in a way that felt bittersweet- because this character is not actually rei. not simply because she is not ayanami, but because she carries no actual development from her previous iterations like the other characters of rebuild. reiQ answers the question of “what if rei was actually as moe as she looks in official art” but forgets to pull the rug out from beneath you to unveil the depths of her turmoil. while Ayanami would say “I am not your doll to control”, reiQ has almost every aspect of her character dictated to her by other people - and this is depicted as fulfilling and human (because Anno wants you to get a job and have kids). not even her name is her choice. her sudden death only exists to serve as a motivator for shinji. I wanted to believe that this was some commentary on how a relationship without pain and loss cant exist, but it seems unlikely as rei (1, 2, 3, Q, Ayanami, lilith, etc) does not have an arc in this film. also the TV production quality of the village segment made it feel like I was watching a 12 episode sol as opposed to an actual film.

funnily enough, my feeling towards reiQ made me feel retroactive distaste towards 1.0 and 2.22. I’ve never thought rebuild was good, that much has never been a secret. 1.0 and 2.22 however carried enough over from the original series that it felt like the original characters were picking themselves up and getting better. I was happy seeing asuka, who had previously spent 26 episodes and a movie being miserable, open herself up to happiness. I was happy seeing rei connect more with shinji. even if the characters had to become simplified versions of themselves to find their own peace, it didnt feel thatbad. I didn’t realize until 3.0 came out how little this tetralogy had to it beyond puppeteering iconography and hoping that fans find meaning in it. 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 carried the same conviction of 1.0 and 2.22 of showing you characters you like doing things you wished they did, but with the support of the original series environment withering away to unveil half baked ideas, convoluted plots and meaningless regurgitation of every meaningful image this series has produced. seeing rei stripped even farther than her bare bones as reiQ put into focus what I thought I appreciated about 1.0 and 2.22.

there were a few times throughout this movie where I was trying to figure out what it was that anno was trying to say. as stated in my op paragraph, the film does carry it’s own simplified message about how important it is to grow up and face the real world, but this message largely betrays the framing. its cowardly. the pain that shinji experience does not come from the Other anymore, it is all self inflicted. learning to endure hardship simply became a matter of overcoming your own feelings, because now everyone else in your life effortlessly accepts you. there are 3 girls with who dont have any problems anymore and a solarpunk empire that would be all over you if you simply stood on your own two feet. there is no asuka experiencing hedgehog dilemma with shinji, there’s only asuka who exists so shinji can learn how to confess to a girl. there is no misato constantly subjecting shinji to a interplay of projecting her issues onto him and attempting to mother him (with varying degrees of success), there’s just shinjis step mom who accepts that she is responsible for him (which feels GREAT to see but feels bad when you think about what it sacrificed to get there). for a guy whose complicated relationship with otaku culture has bled into his work, you would think that idealistic fantasy of the real world wouldnt be the crutch of the delivering his message. when I say that “defeated” is the ethos of this film, I mean that it is so lacking in purpose compared to its predecessors that it wears itself thin trying to superficially have something for every conceivable audience while throwing out the meat of why people liked those things in the first point.

I was surprised to see that it was gendo who survived as the most introspective part of the film. i’m conflicted towards how I feel about a gendo redemption arc, but I feel as if his instrumentality sequence itself was decently shot (I hate having to compare it to ep 25/26 but it lacks the artistic flare for such a big budget film) and very well articulated. there’s a beautiful story in here about realizing your parents are people and parents realizing the responsibility they owe to their children, but I wish it could have been explored in a different film where characters are less held back by their established canon. honestly watching this whole sequence made me wonder if anno is still friendly with goro miyazaki LMAO

I was largely uninterested in the fight scenes, I think the only one that genuinely made me feel something was the one towards the end where asuka turns into an angel. the poor fight choreography coupled with weird shot composition and the overbearing usage of cg makes fight sequences overbearing and kind of difficult to decipher. cg fights are largely 1 eva vs a swarm of enemies that take up the screen, all of them having the same line weight which just ends up making all parties involved look like a mesh of colors. there arent real stakes for the most part either, asuka and mari tear through waves of enemies with effortless precision accuracy in a way that isnt visually or technically impressive.

believe it or not, I don’t actually dislike Mari. Mari enacts what Anno sought to do with the Rebuilds -- to destroy Evangelion. Mari (literally!) falls out of the sky into the story and is not gripped by the pain of the hedgehog’s dilemma as she exhibits her adoration for most things. her romance with shinji is intentionally analogous to how anno perceives his relationship with his wife -- that she saved him by encouraging him to live in the real world. the actual, textual ridiculousness in her character is softened when you realize that she’s just another component of his 4 movie long exhibition of telling everyone his life is better now that he’s successful and has a hot and talented wife.

is it worth complaining about all the crotch or ass shots. i think we all feel the same way about it. anyway i have more thoughts but these are my loose ones.

[komatsunana]

Hey

Do you think that there is something between Yasu and Shion? We know that Shion loves Yasu (she doesn’t hide that;)

But what about Yasu. At first I thought he felt nothing but that scene where he gives his cigarette to her was a little suspicious as if there more between them. What do you think?

oooooh. I love Shion so I love to get a chance to dissect a scene with her. So.  First of, the scene I think you are referring to is the opening of chapter 75 correct?  Unfortunately I do think you missed a key point in that scene. Because yes, Yasu places a cigarette in Shion’s mouth after taking a drag himself.  But that wasn’t Yasu’s cigarette, it was Yasu returning Shion’s after he’d taken it from her.

So to recap what happened before (just so I am not reposting a bunch of images) is that Yasu came by to check in on Misato who was sleeping at Shion’s place, after the whole drama of Nana’s mom happened and she ran away. Shion asked if Yasu wanted her to wake Misato up, after he’d come all that way. After peeking in on the sleeping Misato, Shion lit up a cigarette for herself. Without asking, Yasu took it right from her lips.

From the casualness that Yasu did so - without even thinking about it. It has to be a norm between them - that Shion lights cigarettes for Yasu.  I’ll have to go back to other scenes with Yasu and Shion sometime and see if it’s a common occurrence textually or if as the reader I should just Know. Because it’s actually not at all rare symbol of affection in NANA - people lighting cigarettes for each other. And there is something incredibly intimate about the act. And because I can definitely remember moments of Yasu and Mai lighting Nana’s cigarette for her... I’m inclined to say it’s a symbol of unrequited love, or perhaps just unconditional love and support just thematically? To be studied at a later time.

But from the empty eyed look Shion gave... I don’t think she’d intended for that cigarette to go to Yasu.  That or she realized how the flow of their relationship was in that moment.

Then Shion asks Yasu if he wanted her to wake up Misato since he came all this way to see her. Yasu says don’t, it was enough to see that Misato was ok and she needed the sleep. Shion then starts setting her boundaries in saying, “Sorry, you can go then.” When Yasu looks at her, she says she knows that Yasu is loyal to his girlfriend, so there won’t be any messing around between them. This of course implies that when Yasu isn’t in a committed relationship with anyone, he and Shion do “mess around.”

But Shion continues and pretty much says that there isn’t anything else for them to do (or say) alone together.  Yasu gets the message and that is when he returns Shion’s cigarette to her before she can light herself another cigarette.

And Yasu leaves without another word!

But my interpretation of the moment is that Yasu realizes the boundaries Shion is putting up and that he should not have taken that cigarette.  Because what had simply been a helpful act to Yasu, had always been a devoted act of love and care but things were different between Shion and Yasu now that he was dating Miu.  So he returns her cigarette to her - but I’m not sure that Yasu really understood that by doing that... was such a weighted act.  I don’t think he intended it, but you can definitely see the emotion on Shion’s face as we walks away that the impact of simply... returning her cigarette had on her.

Additionally, the media trope of an “indirect kiss” is also at play imo.  Usually indirect kisses are a trope for the young lovers, because it is very juvenile. But it’s manga/anime and also the use of a shared cigarette is more sensual than it is when 2 high schoolers drink from the same cup.

But anyway, Shion tells Yasu to go and as he does she’s sad and obviously affected by it.  And then the scene ends.

So I don’t think that Yasu has special feelings for Shion beyond that which he has always said to have for everyone that he loves.  It doesn’t matter if he is close with them, so long as they are happy. So Yasu is happy enough to be friendly and hang out with Shion, even if he doesn’t return her feelings of love and devotion, if she is.  If she isn’t and also he doesn’t want to make Miu feel insecure... then message received.  Of course things are not so simple, when Yasu and Shion are both managing the Black Stones and have to communicate often.

What is interesting that in my flipping to find that chapter, I peeked at the famous Shion line “I love everything Yasu loves, that’s the secret of love.”  She says it to Takumi and interestingly..... She gives him her cigarette before leaving.

I don’t know if it means anything in the Shion and Takumi relationship, but I definitely don’t think it means she (or Takumi) have special feelings for each other lol.  But this definitely makes me more interested in look at the lighting/sharing cigarette scenes. I think there has to be something there, since it happens so often even in me just flipping through a couple volumes.

[insomniacowl]

Neon Genesis Evangelion analysis chapter 14: Ayanami Rei, Unit – 00 Part 1

Construction of Unit – 00

Evangelion Unit – 00 refers to the prototype and is the model that took the longest time to complete its construction. Yet it is also the model that is the most unstable and has gone berserk second-most times after Unit – 01. However, if Unit – 01 went berserk to protect its pilot Shinji, Unit – 00 going berserk has served only to hurt its pilot Rei and the people around it.

Since the act of going berserk is in the purview of the soul the resides inside the core of each Eva, it would be the intent of this soul to hurt those around it when it goes berserk. Therefore, let us focus on the question of the identity of the soul inside of Unit – 00.

Firstly, I would like to address one of the more prevalent views regarding the soul in Unit – 00 that is the argument that it does not have one. Such argument is supported using the text presented in the game Shin Eva 2 that says, ‘Creation of Core suitable for Rei was not simple as she did not have a mother’. Yet what this sentence tells us is the (of course very) important fact that Rei does not have a mother but does not stand as a piece of evidence on the absence of a soul in Unit – 00’s core.

The fact that Evas have a soul is the most fundamental understanding required from its viewers and this fact is recited often enough, most importantly through Ritsuko and Rei. The reason for this has been covered several times in the previous chapters thus I shall not go into it here. I will make my case clear here that I believe that Unit – 00 has a soul and I present my evidence to prove it in this chapter.

The first scene of importance to us is the sequence of it going berserk in episode 5

Operator: Unit – 00 is out of control!

Gendou: Cease the experiment, shut it down

Operator: Roger!

Operator: Unit – 00 has switched to its secondary battery

Operator: 35seconds to its complete shutdown!

Ritsuko: It's dangerous, please stand back!

Misato: So what was the cause of the accident that day?

Ritsuko: We don’t know yet, but its believed to be psychological instability from the pilot

Misato: Rei becoming psychologically unstable?

Ritsuko: Yes, I find it hard to believe coming from her

Misato: Just what could have happened to her?

Ritsuko: I’m not sure, perhaps….

Misato: Any ideas?

Ritsuko: No… that’s not possible

There are two important parts in this sequence is. First is the accuracy of which Unit – 00 can locate Gendou’s location among the amount of distress we see it to be in, and Ritsuko saying, ‘No… that’s not possible’ in her conversation with Misato.

Let’s look at the first part. As we have already covered, the action of Evangelion during its berserk state is the act of the soul in the core. It is definite that Rei had no negative feelings towards Gendou at this point, and Gendou’s ‘scalding’ sacrifice has made her fall in love with him. Yet it is also true that Unit – 00 was definitely targeting Gendou. Gendou, when this was happening, seemed as though he has expected it (Except for the fact that he was startled from the wall denting in) and keeps Unit – 00 perfectly in his sight.

Therefore, we can make a statement here that the soul inside of Unit – 00 truly despise Gendou, Gendou is aware of this fact, and he knows that this person’s soul is inside of Unit – 00. In this case, there are two possible candidates for the identity of the soul in question. First is Ritsuko’s mother, Akagi Naoko. Second is the soul of the First Rei.

If the identity id Naoko, she does have a legitimate reason to want to kill Gendou since she dies shortly after knowing of the terrible things, he has said about her behind her back. If it was the soul of the first Rei, she might have hated Gendou for sealing her inside of Unit – 00. But we do not have enough evidence yet to weight between the two hypotheses. So let us move onto the second part of the sequence. 

Ritsuko, when she is looking back at the failed experiment, seems to have thought of something when she says “No… that’s not possible”. The way she says it suggests that she does not have a definitive idea but a theory of what happened. In this case, we can suspect both possibilities of the soul but let's also consider that it was Misato’s question of “Just what could have happened to her(Rei)?” that triggered this realization.

If the identity of the soul was Naoko, Ritsuko would have had to go through the mental gymnastics of “Rei was psychologically unstable? What could she have seen in there? My mom who killed herself five years ago?”. Rather, my argument is that Ritsuko who knows the secret of the dummy system and of Rei would more likely agree with the First Rei’s soul hypothesis.

My next evidence is the following seen in the latter half of episode 14 when Shinji is riding Unit – 00 for ‘pilot interchangeability testing’. For this sequence, Rei did not have any problem when she was in Unit – 01 (This whole test likely being to test Rei’s brain system, as the dummy system, is compatible with Unit – 01), we see the problem when Shinji is on Unit – 00. In the synchronization phase, step A10: neural link application (When the soul in the core begins communication with the pilot), a myriad of images are forced into Shinji’s mind.

Ritsuko: Shinji, how does Unit – 00’s entry plug feel?

Shinji: It feels a bit weird

Shinji: Something is… it's forcing itself into my mind

Shinji: Ayanami… Ayanami Rei? Ayanami Rei’s feelings? Wait, no, this isn’t Ayanami

At first, we are shown Ayanami Rei that Shinji is familiar with, and the scenes we have seen in the previous episodes. Shinji too believes this to be Rei and begins thinking about her. But we quickly find irregularities in the images (Shinji is struck of a headache at this point likely due to the invasiveness of the images coming into his head) and at this point, we see a surreal image of Rei.

Right after this, we see Unit – 00 going berserk for the second time in the series. 

Misato: What’s happening?

Maya: Pilot’s mind is being corrupted! Losing control of Unit – 00

Ritsuko: Unit – 00 is denying Shinji?

Misato: Rei! Run!

The way Unit – 00 went berserk was different compared to the first. 

Unit – 00 did not aim for Gendou but aimed for Rei. Not only that, as though this was not enough, but it also begins to harm itself by repeatedly bashing its head against the wall.

What we need to take away from this sequence lies with Rei’s reaction to this Unlike Gendou who flinched, Rei stood still all the while being threatened by unit – 00. It is almost as if she is saying “Kill me if you want to”. We should also observe Ritsuko’s reaction to this being “unit – 00 absolutely tried to kill me[Ritsuko].”

Let us shine the spotlight on Unit – 00 going berserk. Through this sequence, we can add Rei and itself to the ‘unit – 00’s hate list’. Both of the hypothetical identities of the soul, however, can explain this sequence. Since Naoko has killed the first Rei and swiftly killed herself, it is highly likely that she would try to kill Rei again and try to destroy unit – 00 that is her current body. On the contrary, if the identity of the soul were the first Rei, she would definitely feel dissonance at the being that looked just like she did and harmed herself out of the feeling of being trapped in the Eva.

If so, how can we explain our Rei’s reaction or the lack thereof? It can be overlooked as we are made to think of this lack of emotion as Rei’s character identity, it goes against the other character identity we are made known of her, namely that unlike herself, she did not follow the orders given to her by Misato to run away from the attack. I believe this to have come from the mutual bond she shares with the unit – 00 and (coming from the seven months she spent trying to synchronize with) understand and emphasize this action.

This response from Rei is more explainable in the case where the soul is that of the first Rei rather then if the soul is Naoko’s. In the first case, Rei would be able to understand the action of Unit – 00 more compared to the case if the identity was that of Naoko who Rei has a reason to be afraid of and hate for she has been the victim of her assault. 

Ritsuko’s reaction to this is also interesting. She believes that Unit – 00 has aimed to kill her. If we flip the table and see from Ritsuko’s point of view for why she may think such a way, is that she is feeling guilty of something she did to the soul in Unit – 00. And as the lead scientist who was also in charge of preparing the core for Touji and Unit – 03, Ritsuko definitely knows the identity of the soul in unit – 00. 

If the soul is Naoko, What Ritsuko would be feeling guilty about is her having a relationship with Gendou who Naoko loved and was betrayed by.

If the soul is the First Rei, the guilt would come from the hatred she thinks the first Rei would have to her. The daughter of the woman that killed her, and the (likely) person that trapped the soul in Unit – 00. 

Suspect number 1: Akagi Naoko

If it looks as though I am pulling towards the idea of the soul being that of the First Rei, you would be right. But more then that, I am in complete disagreement with the often debated idea that Naoko’s soul is Unit – 00. 

This theory of Naoko’s soul being in Unit – 00 comes from Kitamura Masahiro’s “Complete Evangelion explained” that I have mentioned in chapter 12. Rather, he presents this theory less as a theory but as though it is canon. Gives no evidence, mentions this, and builds other arguments on top of this false canon. From here on, I will give pieces of evidence to refute his claims.

The most important thing to consider is that there is absolutely no reason for Gendou to put Naoko’s soul into Unit – 00. Rather I stand that it does complete disservice if the soul was that of Naoko. Barring what she has done to Rei, and that Rei and Unit – 00 were paired from the earlier days of planning, it would be insensible to put Naoko’s soul in the unit that Rei will come to pilot. 

Further, if we were to follow the Mother-child logic of soul – pilot, the pilot of the unit – 00 souls be Ritsuko, not Rei. When we see Gendou flinching in the fist berserk sequence, it shows that Unit – 00 going berserk was not expected to happen. Yet if it were Naoko’s soul inside, the Unit – 00 going berserk should have been something that was expected for Gendou, thus he would not have had the need to flinch, or not be where he was when it happened. 

Therefore, I state my case that the argument of Unit – 00 containing Naoko’s soul as something that ignores the logical flow of the setting and comes from the desire of turning Evangelion into Misery porn and make the characters suffer more than necessary. Therefore, I argue that ideas that stem from such mentality should never be given any weight in the debate of anything.

Suspect number 2: The first Rei?

Yet if you ask if my answer to the identity of the soul being that of the first Rei, I will be reluctant to say yes. What I have pointed out so far is that there is a great deal of contradiction to the idea of the soul being Akagi Naoko. 

The reluctance to say yes comes from the elephant in the room for the first Rei’s soul hypothesis, this being that since both the first and the second Rei contains Lilith’s soul. Thus, in this case, we come to a state that there are two souls of Lilith in co-existence, separate from each other physically. 

Let us take a break here. In the following chapter, let's discuss a little more about the hints that exist regarding Unit – 00’s core and attempt to conclude this discussion of the identity.

 TBC Ayanami Rei, Unit – 00 Part 2

[lunar-lattice]

Solaris Caelum (9)

It’s time for a party the recipient didn’t ask for...but isn’t that all surprise parties?

Mirrors in reblogs.

< Previous x Next >

9. A Major Party

15 years ago, on September 13th 2000...

Just like that, the world had exploded into an orange cacophony of harsh light and sound. The wind and world and something else screamed. Across the destroyed Antarctic base, a man carried his daughter, weathering his own wounds and the collapsing world for her. There, he saw it; the last and only remaining emergency capsule. He propped his daughter against his shoulder and reached out, ignoring the pain that jolted through his nearly flayed arm to open it.

Behind him, the monster they awoke still wailed, its brilliant form illuminating the world through the gloom. Not much time left. He set his daughter into the capsule as gently as he could. Blood from his head wound dropped onto her cheek and she shuddered. She looked up at him, confusion on her face. "Father..." she whispered.

The shutting of the capsule prevented any more conversation. His mission done, the man collapsed onto the capsule and awaited the end.

Inside the capsule, his daughter didn't dare make a sound. The capsule rumbled then flipped over and over. She cried in surprise, "Father!"

The capsule eventually came to a stop, slowly bobbing. She sat up as much as she could, pressing the button to open the capsule. She flinched and held her side as she sat up.

The world was much darker than it had been but an orange gloom still settled over it. Before her, where the facility had been, twin pillars of light extended from the ocean and into the atmosphere. Whatever they belonged to still wailed. She clenched her side.

Now, Misato was getting dressed, the memories of that day swirling in her mind. Her fingers ghosted over her scar. It was best to move on...but difficult with the lasting reminder across her chest.

Outside, Tokyo-3 was in the midst of a thunderstorm. Inside Misato's apartment however, it was warm. Shinji rushed out of the hallway, passing a pair of towels to his friends, Toji and Kensuke. Toji took his, "Man, thanks Shinji! You really saved us from the rain!"

Shinji laughed nervously, "It's really nothing."

Kensuke looked around, "Where's Miss Misato?"

"Probably sleeping still. She's been working all night recently."

"Oh, right," Toji sat down, toweling his hair dry, "She has a really tough job."

"So let's keep it quiet so we won't wake her up," Kensuke put his finger in front of his mouth in a 'shh' gesture.

"What are you guys doing here?" Asuka poked her head into the kitchen.

"Shh!" Toji and Kensuke gestured to keep her quiet.

Shinji explained, ignoring them, "Taking shelter from the rain."

"Hmmm," she narrowed her eyes, "Alright" and disappeared back into the hallway.

"Hope Miss Misato didn't wake up," Toji said.

The door to Misato's room opened and she stepped out. "You're real good at jinxing us," Kensuke said.

He looked at Misato, "Sorry for disturbing you!"

She waved him off, "I was up already so it's alright. Welcome!"

She nodded to Shinji, "Remember, harmonics test tonight."

"Right."

"Asuka?"

"Got it!" she called from her room.

Misato looked back at them, "Rei and Kaworu probably know already but if you guys can pick them up before you leave if they're still home, that would be great."

Shinji nodded, "We can do that."

Misato smiled, "Thank you, you're such a dependable boy."

Shinji returned the smile. Beside him, Kensuke leaned forward, squinted and adjusted his glasses. He gasped and went straight, "Congratulations on your promotion!"

Toji looked confused but went straight too, "Yeah, congratulations!"

Shinji blinked, "What are you two talking about?"

Kensuke sighed, "On her jacket! Her pin is different! Misato's a major now!"

Misato chuckled, blushing slightly, "That's right. Thank you."

Kensuke beamed and bowed, "You're most welcome!" Toji followed suit, much deeper with his face fixed into a stoic respectful expression.

Misato laughed softly and nervously, "Well, see you guys later," and she beat a hasty retreat out the door.

"See you!" Toji and Kensuke called after her.

Shinji sighed, "I think she was a little embarrassed..."

"I don't see why!" Kensuke grinned, "It's quite the honor!"

"What going on out here?" Asuka asked, dressed in a large t-shirt and shorts, toweling off her hair.

"Misato's collar tab has two lines now instead of one. So she's been promoted from a captain to a major!" Kensuke said, gesturing to his own collar.

"Really? I wouldn't have noticed that,"

"Huh...I wonder when she was promoted," Shinji said.

"Must have been recently," Asuka said thoughtfully as she stopped beside him.

"Are you serious! You guys are pathetic!" Toji cried.

"You wouldn't have noticed either if not for Kensuke!" Asuka shot back.

Toji opened his mouth to refute her then closed it. "You may be right," he conceded.

"She's right," Kensuke said.

"Awww, shut it!" Toji punched him in the arm.

Kensuke winced and rubbed his arm. He turned back to the pilots and asked, "But you know what this means?"

"What?" they asked.

He grinned, "A party is in order!"

"You think Misato will like that?" Shinji asked.

"Oooh, can I invite Hikari?" Asuka asked, showing no attention to Shinji.

"Sure! We'll invite everyone! Us, Rei, Kaworu..."

"We could see if Ritsuko could come," Asuka paused, "Maybe even Kaji!"

The three continued to plan and Shinji sighed, his question forgotten by the trio. He hoped a party wouldn't be any issue. He didn't exactly want one himself...but he supposed spending time with his friends was never a bad thing. He'd deal with it.

As they left the apartment to gather the other two pilots, Kensuke asked, "Say, is Misato coming with you home?"

Shinji raised an eyebrow but answered anyways, "Probably not tonight. She finally got all the paperwork done from the last Angel. She's gonna drive us home though."

Kensuke sighed, "Alright...party tomorrow!" he cheered, his demeanor changing on a dime.

"Tomorrow!" Shinji cried, "That's a little early, huh?"

"And there's no chance of anyone spilling the secret!"

Shinji frowned. Toji sighed, "You can't get him off a subject once he's on it so don't even try," he turned to Kensuke, "And I suppose you will want me to help?"

"Of course!"

A little over an hour later, the group was in the middle of their sync test. Asuka sighed softly, fidgeting slightly in the plug. Her sync ratio was just above where it was last time, for good reason. Any sudden change in her ratio would set off suspicion. At first, she had done it deliberately but now it came easier than she expected. Perhaps her mother was in cahoots with her. She smiled at the thought.

"Asuka's ratio just shot up another two points," Ritsuko observed.

"But her and Rei are at the edge of the contamination zone. They might have reached their limit," Maya said.

Ritsuko looked over her shoulder, "Shinji can, however. Lower the graph depth another 0.3."

"Alright. What about Kaworu?"

Ritsuko looked over his graph. Their current setup with him was little more than shadow of what it would be when they had his Eva. It was a test plug loaded with the current data from his Unit. It did the job well enough but no doubt his score would change drastically when he got the real deal. "Keep him as he is," she said.

Kaworu felt weird inside the test plug. It was quiet and empty in a way Unit Two wasn't. Data was no substitute for a true Eva. As such, his general scores were low. What purpose it served to test him in his own plug anyways was unknown to him. Perhaps as a baseline? They usually followed up these tests with putting him in Unit Two and letting the others go home but not tonight. He didn't mind that too much.

Shinji felt conflicting feelings toward the entry plug. It was a place of pain and comfort. Pain such as white hot tentacles through his torso or the agonizing pain of a beam to his whole front. But comfort such as the quiet warm environment of the plug itself. The feeling was familiar in a way he couldn't pinpoint, like a memory from a time he couldn't consciously remember.

"He's almost nearly reached the contamination zone," Maya reported.

"And he's still getting these readings? Incredible," Ritsuko whistled softly at it, "Truly incredible."

Maya glanced up at her, "And his harmonics and sync rate are also catching up with Asuka's."

"It's almost as if he has a gift for piloting Eva," Ritsuko said, "And I'm not usually one to believe in that sort of thing."

"I doubt he'd be happy to hear that, since he doesn't like to do it…," Misato murmured.

She said it so no one would hear her but Ritsuko did, a frown flickering across her expression. She turned to the screen and pressed the comm button, "Good work you three. Shinji, you did well."

It didn't take long to unload the pilots. They each had a quick rinse from the adjoining room to where they exited then were lead back up to the monitoring room to see their results.

"All of you are always improving. Shinji here though, has gone up eight points since last test," Ritsuko explained.

"Really?"

Ritsuko nodded, "Data doesn't lie. You're improving the quickest behind Asuka who had a four point increase this time."

"Nice!" Asuka pumped her arm in the air, "I'm still in the lead though?"

"For the time being."

Asuka muffled the last dying cries of her past life that insisted that even this was a failure. "Good job," she patted Shinji's shoulder. The cries died in her mind.

"As for you two," Ritsuko turned to Rei and Kaworu, "Both of you are steadily improving and that is good as well. I'm hoping we see a nice increase when you have a chance in your actual Eva, Kaworu."

He nodded, "Am I to stay behind to test in Unit Two too?"

"Not tonight. I have a lot of data to get through."

Asuka tilted her head slightly, "You sound really busy, Doctor Akagi. Maybe you could take a break sometime?"

"That's very sweet of you to suggest but I always have so much work..." Ritsuko trailed off.

"She's right," Misato pointed out.

Ritsuko shrugged, "We'll have to see."

The pilots went to the locker room, the girls in theirs and the boys in theirs. Asuka dressed quickly and walked to Rei, who was just trying the knot on her dress. "Rei, we're having a party of Misato tomorrow. Wanna come? You've gotta keep it a secret thought!"

"A party?" she echoed.

"Mhm! Misato's promoted so we're having a surprise party tomorrow for her!"

Rei was quiet then nodded, "I'd like that and I am not busy. So I shall come."

"Sweet!" Asuka cheered, "Get there by eight since Misato should be home thirty minutes after."

"Now," she looked into the hallway, "We just gotta get Ritsuko and Kaji."

"I can inform Dr. Akagi as I have to go see her before I leave."

Asuka smiled, "Alright! See you then!" she left with a wave.

Rei slowly waved back and watched her leave. She was glad her upload was tonight rather than the next day. She could go to the Major's party as well as Dr. Akagi. The Doctor should be happy when Rei came to deliver the invitation. A small smile flickered upon her lips as she left the locker room. She felt...excited at the prospect of the doctor's reaction.

The trip to Terminal Dogma was ingrained in Rei's bones by now. She believed she could even do it in her sleep. She watched the elevator tick down as she rode it, nothing but the quiet hum of the machinery as her company. Down here, it was colder. Whether it was because the depth or the contents of it, she didn't know. Nor did she ask. All she was needed for down here was to perform her role.

She exited the elevator, following the dim hallway into a side room where she shed her clothes. Dr. Akagi appeared in the doorway, "Good, Rei. You're here on time."

Rei nodded and walked up to her, following her through the hallway until they reached a large circular room. Twisted machinery made up the ceiling and in the center was a tube. Off to the side was an archaic computer terminal. "Wait a moment," Dr. Akagi instructed her as she went over to it. She tapped a few keys, humming to herself.

"Dr Akagi," Rei said quietly.

"What is it, Rei?" she asked, not looking up.

"Asuka wanted me to inform you you've been invited to a party for Major Katsuragi's promotion."

Ritsuko looked at her, a perplexed expression on her face, "She wanted you to invite me?"

"She told me you and Mr. Kaji should come. I said I'd pass the message to you."

"Huh," her expression softened, "That's…kind of you."

She went back to her terminal, "Tell her I'll see if I can make it. No promises."

"I see."

"Anyway, I'm ready for you," she gestured to the tube.

Rei had been acting different, Ritsuko noted as Rei walked into the tube. The tube sealed itself and LCL flooded it, causing Rei to float off the floor. She inhaled and closed her eyes, letting herself float.

Ritsuko smiled softly. It wasn't a bad different. Perhaps Commander Ikari would find it a bad different but Rei still acted the part. Still, her behavior warmed the doctor to her.

"Thank you, Misato," Kaworu said from the back seat of Misato's car.

"It's no problem, Kaworu! I would have took Rei home too if she didn't have to stay behind," Misato replied as they drove home.

"I also heard you were promoted so congratulations!"

"I bet Shinji told you, huh?"

Shinji and Kaworu exchanged glances. "Yes," Shinji admitted.

Misato chuckled, "You guys are more excited about my promotion than I am…"

"Why aren't you?" Asuka asked.

Misato shrugged, "I mean, not much changes. I guess I do get paid more but that's about it. I still rank as one of the highest in NERV. So it doesn't seem as big a deal to me."

"It's a big honor though," Asuka said.

Misato sighed, "I don't know really how to explain it. Maybe it's different because I'm an adult."

Asuka shot a worried glance at the two in the back. Shinji piped up, "I think I understand. Being praised is nice but there's a lot of pressure."

Asuka shook her head, "You should just take the praise and be happy! They say, don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

Shinji frowned but said nothing. Kaworu cut in, "I suppose there's a healthy balance. Be happy for it but don't let it get to your head. But also don't let people's criticisms go to your head. Just do what makes you happy!"

"Sounds right. Try to not put too much stock in what people think of you," Misato finished.

The three went silent, mulling this over. Misato smiled, "You kids are more thoughtful than when I was your age...granted, this time when I was your age, I wasn't doing a lot of talking at all."

"Are you really sure Misato'll be happy?" Shinji asked the next day, in the afternoon as he watched her flit around, setting up her game console in the living room.

Asuka had roused him from bed and told him Toji and Kensuke were coming by early so they can set things up. And of course, Shinji was on cooking duty. He didn't mind that part, he minded the fact he was put on it without being asked. It seemed everyone was more excited for it than him, but he supposed at this point it was more an excuse to throw a party. He smiled softly. And for Misato, an excuse to drink.

Asuka shrugged, "Whatever her weird stance on being congratulated, everyone likes a party!"

"I guess you're right. Though, she'll probably take it as an excuse to drink," he said.

"There you go!" she beamed.

The door bell rang, "Oh that'll be them!" she said, going to the door.

She opened the door to reveal Kensuke and Toji accompanied by a man with glasses. She blinked, "Hello guys and...?"

Shinji appeared behind her, "Oh that's Goichi, Kensuke's brother!"

Goichi chuckled, "I had the day off and Kensuke insisted I must meet the Major...you must be Asuka."

Asuka gasped and put a hand to her chest, "Not another nerd!"

Goichi blinked and deadpanned, "I've heard things about you too but it wouldn't be polite for me to repeat them."

The two stared at each other, neither willing to give the other an inch. Kensuke broke the silence, "We haven't said anything bad about you. Goichi is just messing with you."

Goichi laughed, "Actually, all I've heard is pretty favorable. Might have seen you in action," he winked and gestured to Kensuke's camera, "Or maybe not. After all, having such footage would not be allowed."

Asuka grinned back, "You are right but it would be rather cool if you did see it."

She led the trio inside, gesturing for them to set their cargo on the table. "Isn't Misato not home for some time?" Shinji asked.

"Obviously! We want to be utterly prepared!" she said as she rooted through the bags, setting the groceries on the table.

"This didn't cost too much, did it?" Shinji asked Kensuke.

"Nah," he waved Shinji off, "I can already see you pulling out your NERV card to reimburse us so don't bother."

"Just leave some for me to take to Sakura," Toji commented, sitting at the table and cracking a can of soda, "She wanted to come but she still can't leave the hospital."

Shinji sat beside him, "Is she getting better though?"

Toji nodded, "They actually started her on physical therapy last week. Progress is slow but it's better than nothing," he smiled softly.

Shinji nodded, "I'll have to visit her again sometime with you…"

"I'd say bring everyone else but I wouldn't want her getting hurt with how excited she'd be," Toji joked.

"Shinji!" came Asuka's call from the kitchen.

He sighed and sat up, "Guess that's my cue."

The next person to arrive was Kaworu, a cake in hand. "A cake is customary for celebrations, is it not?" he asked sheepishly as Asuka ushered him in.

"I think it's more of a western thing but hey! You won't find me complaining!" Asuka eyed the cake. It was a simple white cake with 'Congratulations on your promotion!' written in purple icing.

"Did you make it yourself?" she asked.

Kaworu shook his head, "I wanted to try...but last time I tried to bake, I burnt it," he laughed softly.

A grin stole onto Asuka's face, "Hey, I bet Shinji knows how! He can teach you!"

He shot her an exasperated glance and went into the kitchen to set the cake down. Shinji was tending to a pan of pork. Kaworu set the cake on the table and walked over, "What are you making?"

Shinji jumped, "Oh! Kaworu! I'm making ramen er, actual ramen. Not the instant stuff."

Kaworu chuckled, "You think Misato will appreciate it?"

"Well," he trailed off, "I hope she finds it funny. And if she doesn't, I'll say it was Asuka's plan."

"Bold of you," he smiled, "How can I help?"

"Oh, you wanna help?" Shinji seemed surprised.

He nodded. "Oh, well you can cut the scallions," he gestured to the cutting board where a knife and a scallion, along with a bulb of garlic and a ginger root.

He began to cut it into small diagonal slices and asked, "Want me to cut these too?"

"I'd like that! But just crush the garlic."

Kaworu hummed as he worked. Shinji turned down the heat for the pork and set a lid onto it. Before he knew it, he was humming too. He asked, "What is that you're humming?"

Kaworu smiled at him, "Beethoven's 9th, Ode to Joy. Do you like it?"

"Oh! Yeah, I do like classical!" Shinji returned the smile.

"It's actually my favorite piece of music. Do you have a favorite?"

Shinji shook his head, "Not really, I've never thought about it. But I like a lot."

Kaworu nodded in agreement, "Good. Music is good. I'd say it's the pinnacle of your culture."

Shinji raised an eyebrow, "Japanese…?"

Kaworu chuckled, "Of all culture."

"I think you're right," he smiled before turning and beginning to make the sauce for the ramen.

Back in the living room, Asuka was ushering Rei and Hikari inside. She smiled, "Glad you two could come!"

Rei nodded, "I am glad. I also told Dr. Akagi."

Hikari smiled, "Of course, I'd come."

"Sweet, I told Kaji on my way out of NERV!"

Rei raised an eyebrow, "I thought Misato disliked Mr. Kaji?"

"Oh, Rei. Misato is just saying that. I think she still likes him!"

"What if you're wrong?"

Asuka winked, "I'm not wrong."

Hikari laughed softly, "I'd dare say you're turning into a right matchmaker, Asuka."

Asuka simply smiled and hushed her.

Time passed quickly and before anyone knew, it was nearly time for Misato to get home. Asuka had ushered everyone to be on alert. Shinji himself was jittery with nervous energy. The door opened and everyone tensed. Misato entered, yawning and taking off her hat. She didn't notice anything was wrong.

Kensuke lead the cry of, "Congratulations, Misato!"

Misato jumped, her hand flying for her gun. Then she froze and blinked. Then she blushed bright, "What are you—"

"It's a party! For you!" Asuka cried.

Misato blinked then fled for her room. Silence dominated the room. Goichi asked, "Did that go well?"

"Er," Kensuke mumbled.

Misato exited shortly after, having shed her work clothes for her casual clothes. "You guys...you did this?" she asked, stopping before the group.

Asuka pointed to Toji and Kensuke, "It was their idea!"

"Actually, it was mainly Kensuke's," Toji cut in.

Misato looked over them then stopped on Goichi, "You are?"

He bolted up, sticking his hand out, "Goichi Aida! Kensuke's brother! Er, Major!"

Misato took his hand, gingerly shaking it, "Nice to meet you…just call me Misato…"

He saluted her and sat back down. Shinji stood, "I'll go get the food put together."

"I'll come with," Misato followed him and groaned, "I need a drink..."

She took a beer out of the fridge, cracked it and drained half of it in one swallow. She glanced over at Shinji who was dutifully starting the noodles. "Do you need help?" she asked.

"Oh no!" he shook his head.

He paused, "Well, I do but I don't want to ask you. It is your party."

A mischievous look crossed Misato's face, "I'll go gather Kaworu. He's a reliable boy."

She stayed just long enough to savor the blush on Shinji's cheeks before she left for the living room. "Kaworu!" she cried, "I think Shinji needs some help so would you help him!"

She chuckled internally seeing Kaworu jump to attention, "Sure thing!" and walked past her into the kitchen.

She did, however, smile smugly as she sat at the table and sipped at her beer. She said, "Thank you all...this is really nice, if a surprise."

"I mean, it is supposed to be a surprise," Asuka pointed out.

Misato rolled her eyes, "You know what I mean."

"Anyway," Toji pointed to Kensuke, "Ken planned it all. We just helped."

"Exactly!" Kensuke bolted to his feet, "It was I! Kensuke Aida, the mastermind!"

Goichi chuckled softly at his antics. Misato dipped her head at Kensuke, "Then thank you, Aida."

"Awww, nah," Kensuke waved her off, "I was doing what anyone would have done!"

Misato nearly rolled her eyes again but let the boy have his fun. Kaworu came in, two bowls in hand and set one in front of Misato and the other to her right, where Shinji was sitting. "Ramen?" Misato asked.

"Homemade," Shinji commented, bringing more bowls and dishing them out, "I thought you'd like it better this way."

"When did our Shinji get so cheeky?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Shinji used the excuse to get the rest of the bowls to retreat. Misato chuckled and pulled a bundle of noodles and pork from the bowl, bringing it to her mouth. It tasted...just as good as from a ramen stand. No...even better! Kaworu, having returned to give Kensuke and Toji a bowl grinned, "I think Misato likes it, Shinji."

"Judging by how she'd putting it away, I think that's an understatement," Asuka chuckled, digging into her own bowl which Shinji had just brought her.

"It's so good, Shinji!" Misato grinned between bites, "You've got an eye for this sort of thing!"

"You think?" he asked while he sat beside her.

Misato shook her head, "No. I know you do."

Shinji blushed furiously and instead found more of an interest in eating than continuing the conversation. Goichi chuckled, "She's right. Might have to have Kensuke invite you for dinner sometime so we can have this again."

"Don't do that," Kensuke warned, "He won't say no."

"Oh, Toji," Shinji looked up, "I made a container for Sakura too...if she can have it."

"Wow, man!" Toji grinned, "That's awfully kind of you! You should come visit her with me so you can give it to her yourself!"

"Uh...if you want..." Shinji trailed off.

They continued eating, everyone making conversation between themselves...that is, except for Shinji. Misato glanced over at him and said softly, "How are you doing?"

Shinji looked up at her, surprise in his face, "Oh..I'm alright. I guess. It's just a lot of people."

Asuka had just launched into an argument over how Toji and Kensuke should take Kaji's example and how they should be more like gentleman. Toji pointed out Kaji wasn't even there yet so what kind of gentleman was that? Asuka didn't seem to want to argue that. Hikari seemed exasperated, Goichi was watching it with a hint of bemusement and Kaworu was protesting that they shouldn't argue at Misato's party. Rei was quietly eating but keeping an eye on it. Shinji murmured to Misato, "Why must they be so noisy?"

"The noise is bothering you?" Misato asked softly.

Shinji nodded. Misato stood, "Here, let's take the bowls back and cut into that cake."

In the kitchen, Shinji asked her as he rinsed the bowls, "A promotion. So, that means that people have acknowledged your work?"

Misato nodded, busy opening the cake container and cutting it into equal slices, "Yeah, I suppose."

"That's why they're happy," he jerked his head in the direction of the living room, "But it doesn't make you happy."

"I mean, I am a little happy. And the celebration is nice...but that's not why I work at NERV."

Shinji tilted his head, "Then why do you work there?"

Misato glanced at him, seeing him regard her with genuine curiosity. The instinct to tell him a lie died on her tongue. She looked away, "It's long and complicated. I'll tell you someday."

Shinji frowned but nodded, "I think I understand. I think I'm ready to go back."

He sat back down by Kaworu when he returned, Asuka and the boys having migrated to the TV to play a fighting game. Asuka was trying to coax Rei into playing with them, "C'mon! It's more fun with more players! And Hikari won't play!"

Rei said softly, "I don't know anything of it though."

"We can teach you," Asuka said, offering her a controller.

Rei regarded it then took it with a cheer from Toji and Kensuke. "Why don't you want to play?" Shinji asked, "You had fun that one time."

Kaworu smiled, "I was waiting for you to return."

Shinji returned the smile with a faint blush on his cheeks. "What were you and Misato talking about, if I may ask?" Kaworu asked.

"Oh, just Misato didn't seem too happy with this. But she must be happy enough to let us have fun," he glanced at Misato sitting on the couch, watching the truly great task of the boys and Asuka teaching Rei the art of video games. Goichi seemed fidgety, with the Operations Director of NERV so close.

Kaworu chuckled, "I will admit this seems more like Kensuke just wanted an excuse for a party..." he paused and said thoughtfully, "But I suppose fun is important for us."

"Important?" Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"In a way, we're almost in a war," Kaworu explained, "Constant fighting and no fun would run us down."

Shinji nodded, "I see. That's why Misato sends us to school."

Kaworu smiled, "Same principle though I'd argue school isn't fun."

They sat back and watched as it seemed Rei was getting a hang of it, applying the same attitude towards real battle to play battle. Kensuke cried, "I can't believe it!" as Rei knocked him out.

"Say Kaworu," Shinji said, "You have an admirer at school, right?"

Kaworu raised an eyebrow but internally he tensed, "Mhm. I'm about due to respond back. The last letter was him telling me about himself. Not much."

"Do you know who it is?"

Kaworu tilted his head, considering Shinji's motivations for asking that. Did he want him to know or did he fear he already knew? Shinji was tense too and wouldn't meet his eye. "I suppose you're curious too?" he asked carefully.

Shinji jumped up, "Wh-who isn't?!"

Kaworu nodded, "I suppose you're right. And no. If I did, I'd like to think I'd go ask them myself."

Shinji relaxed, "Maybe they just need time before they do."

"That's what I think is the case."

The doorbell rang and Asuka jumped up, "That must be Kaji and Ritsuko!"

She went to the door and Rei mercilessly knocked her player character out. "Harsh," Kensuke commented.

Rei blinked at him, "She didn't pause."

Asuka opened the door to reveal Kaji and Ritsuko in casual wear. Kaji waved, "I came directly from HQ and me and Ritsuko just met on the way."

Misato eyed them with suspicion, "A likely story."

Ritsuko sighed, "You act like you're jealous."

"I am not!"

"Anyway!" Kaji stood up straight, "I'd like to offer my congratulations, Major Katsuragi. I guess I cant gripe at you anymore."

A faint blush spread across her face and behind her, the kids exchanged glances. Misato snapped, "And just what are you trying to say, you jerk?!"

Kaji grinned, hands on his hips, "You know how unprecedented it is for both the Commander and Vice Commander to be out of Japan together. That just shows how much trust they hold in you to hold down the fort while they're gone."

Shinji piped up, "Wait...my father's not here?"

Ritsuko shook her head, "Commander Ikari is at the South Pole right now."

If one saw the South Pole as it was right now, one might argue it wasn't even of this world anymore. The seas were a purple-red, the color of a bruise. Pillars of salt dotted the landscape where glaciers once were. Above, auroras danced, beautifully eerie. A fleet of ships cut through it, the largest having a long object tarped over and tied to it. From the deck, Commander Ikari and Fuyutski surveyed the land. It was silent, not even the wind existed here it seemed. It wasn't even as cold as it had once been, just the tiniest chill in the air. Fuyutski said, "The South Pole...a world of death where no life is permitted to exist. One may say it's no longer of this world. So should I simply call it Hell?"

"Nevertheless, we, mankind are here. We're living things and we're alive," Gendo replied.

The words were so familiar but if Fuyutski thought of who they reminded him of, his heart would hurt. "It's because we're under the protection of science," he pointed out.

"Science is the power of man."

Fuyutski gave the alien landscape another long glance, "That arrogance is what caused the tragedy of fifteen years ago, Second Impact. And this is the end result. This is a greater punishment than we deserved. It is truly the Dead Sea."

"Yet this is a world that has been purified, purged of its original sin," Gendo kept his flat facade but Fuyutski could hear the smile behind his words. The uncomfortable idea of Second Impact being merely a test trial lodged itself in his brain.

"I'd prefer a world where people live, no matter how stained with sin," he murmured.

Gendo did not respond so Fuyutski didn't even know if he had heard or not. Not that it would matter if he did.

Author's Note:

Here's another chapter that got cut in half because length, because together it was nearing ten thousand words! The first bit here with the party took up a lot of work so it gets its own chapter, a choice I'm happy with. Breaks up the action a bit. Also its fun sometimes to put a lot of characters in a room and play with 'em.

[bestiari]

— 11:25 PM —

Quite a different kind of Thanksgiving. Not so much the food; had the usual chicken. It's just a coin flip, whether it'll be made by my mom or KFC.

We landed on mom's side of the coin this year. Pretty good. Kinda wish I had more of it right now.

Besides that, I ended up on a fun ride to PCH. Followed by King's Buffet - the premiere Chinese buffet of Hollywood. And now, I'm watching the Sopranos. It's only 23:44. How did we get here?

Also, mind the photo. I finally saw the Himeno scene and I've fallen in love yet again. Truly would make my crush on Misato be humble. Coz I'm just down bad for this one. LOL.

— 11:50 PM —

What I listened to;

"You Can't Escape You Know", Aperture Science Psychoacoustic Laboratories

I've been feeling rather nostalgic for Portal 2 recently. There's something about this pair of games that truly comes together for me. The puzzles. The humor. The soundtrack. The way it just absolutely melds together. It's beautiful.

What I watched;

Chainsaw Man 06: It's the scene. It happened. I've been smitten yet again. Anyways, you read about that already.

The Sopranos - 0101, The Pilot: I didn't expect it to immediately get started. Also, it's only 6 seasons? I feel like it was relevant for far longer. Maybe it's coz time was a weird concept to grasp as a kid. Either way, the characters are absolutely fucked up in this show already. And I'm all for it.

What I played;

Sort of a mishmash of stuff. I really wanted to play Tetris Effect Connect / DJMax Respect V... but I forgot to do my patch downloads on my Steam Deck. And it absolutely does not like being in offline mode. Wild. Ended up playing marathon mode in Money Idol Puzzle Exchange. It's pretty fun every time I get into the meat of it. Tried Beatmania 12XD Happy Sky Mix... or whatever. But It's like 7Key on a PS2 pad. I could not comprehend it. Moved to Melee, but the frameskip was weird.

Finished the night with some Valorant games with Michael. I feel like we could have stopped after the first game. LOL. How did end up with TWO KITTENS??

What I felt;

3 days off didn't feel like much of a break. It's kinda fucked up. Managed to stay in the zone most of the evening, so at least that felt good. I'm glad I didn't overeat. I'm looking forward to BK tomorrow. With or without Andi.

— 12:09 AM —

Why;;

It feels like every hour I dedicate to one thing only piles on what feels like a detriment and loss of time for everything else I want to do. I'm already starting to feel a plateau in my general performance - regardless of what game it is. With that, I'm about 16 hours into P5R - about 2 resets so far, so my save is like 14hrs. I feel like it's also difficult to remember the story going on. Maybe that's a tale for another day. I don't feel like going on about how memory feels like it's slipping. Muddled.

I'm looking forward to using this for notes throughout the day. Maybe I can finally hone in on a more regular schedule. I'm losing more to sleep than ever before. It pains me so. Sleep is truly all I want in life, most of the time. The 2 years of Covidtime spoiled me with so much time to be in bed. So much time to just be alone in my thoughts. Even when I had several people to talk to.

— 01:20 AM —

I like that the dairy app I paid way too much for sort of recognizes sharing to Tumblr. Sorta.

[ngenewyear]

Gift for thehprevolution from aubergineinfatuation.

Sorry this is a little long!

Fic:

“Shinji-kun, you are the apple of my eye.”

“…”

“The light of my life, my only sunshine.”

“…?”

“If I were to compare you to something, a summer day might be too cliche, and our contemporary understanding of an angel not entirely accurate, but –”

“Kaworu-kun, what are you talking about?”

Shinji sets down the homework he’d been trying (and failing) to complete for the last twenty minutes. He often prefers to study in Kaworu’s room, half because Kaworu is there but half because pretty much everyone else isn’t, but it does occasionally carry the occupational hazard of Kaworu being like…this.

“Oh, you looked up.” Kaworu smiles pleasantly, completely undeterred by Shinji’s former unresponsiveness. “I was trying…. what is it that you Lilin call it? Oh, right. I was trying some flirting techniques.”

Shinji blushes in spite of himself, in spite of the fact that they are already dating so Kaworu has no reason to flirt (and Shinji has no reason to let it affect him so much either); opting for the easiest course of action, he can only ask “Why?”

“Actually,” Kaworu says, propping himself up on one elbow. It seems to be his favorite position. “There was a book I found, when I was at your house the other day.”

“A book?”

“Yes. It was called, The Five Steps to Woo Any Man. Apparently it belongs to Katsuragi-san, but she said I could borrow it.”

Shinji recalls, quite distinctly, the way Misato had surrounded herself with a tower of beer cans and refused to get into bed until 1am, when he and Asuka had dragged her. There was something about Kaji, something about Ritsuko, but Shinji has stopped paying attention at this point. All he knows is that, apparently, leaving Kaworu and Misato alone is probably not a good idea, not even for the five minutes he left to go get snacks.

He wonders, distantly, where she even got that book.

“The first chapter was on compliments,” Kaworu says, and suddenly the book has materialized in his hand and is being waved above his head. “I decided to try out the ones they had in here, but Shinji-kun, you deserve every –”

“Kaworu-kun, you do know what ‘woo’ means, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“You don’t need to…. woo me. We’re already…” Shinji has no idea what he’s embarrassed by, after all this time, but as always, saying it out loud feels strange. “You know. We’re a already dating.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t compliment you?”

“No, but –”

“I think I’ll continue studying this anyways. Lilin mating rituals are so strange, after all.” and Kaworu’s smile is uncharacteristically mischievous, making Shinji’s heart skip. In both the good and the ‘slightly scared of what’s coming next’ way.

An eternal fifty/fifty with Kaworu.

And so Shinji decides that it’s time to take matters into his own hands. Abandoning his homework to the floor, he pulls himself up to Kaworu’s bed and makes a grab for the book.

Predictably, Kaworu dodges him, deftly switching it from one hand to another and then disposing of it somewhere – Shinji can’t tell where because Kaworu also manages to grab him and pull him to his chest, locking him in a gentle yet simultaneously firm backhug.

“Nice try, Shinji-kun,” he says, in a way that suggests he’s not planning on letting go any time soon.

Shinji finds that he’s okay with that.

x-x-x

It is barely two days later but Shinji has already forgotten entirely about the book and all of its contents. He has forgotten because Kaworu has done nothing to remind him – at least until he comes home and there are flowers pushed into the mail slot and piled around the front door.

He pushes open the door and is greeted with bouquets, bunches of flowers tied with twine, vases overflowing with red and white and pink. Misato sits in the middle of it, looking bemused, while Asuka stands by the kitchen table, looking pissed. Penpen chews on a leaf.

When Shinji walks through the door, Misato gives him the look of a predator who has just landed on some juicy prey. The corners of her lips quirk up, and Shinji immediately backs away.

Of course, he’s too late.

“Shinji-kun~” she says, voice raising sweetly, and Shinji shivers. “Why is it that ever since this morning, I’ve been receiving flowers all addressed to you?”

“Yeah,” Asuka says, plucking a flower from a vase and staring at it in disgust. “I’d like to know, too. Are these all from Ayanami? I didn’t realize she was capable of having feelings.”

It’s at times like these Shinji is glad he never told either of them about his relationship. It’s not as though he has anything to hide, per se – but he figures he receives enough teasing (from Misato) and verbal abuse (from Asuka) on a daily basis that he can be forgiven for wanting some privacy regarding his personal affairs.

And, of course, if Asuka paid him any measure of attention in school she might have figured it out – because Kaworu is neither subtle nor willing to be – but thankfully she has adopted a strategy of acting like Shinji is a stranger whenever she encounters him in a public place, which she sticks to unwaveringly.

As for Misato, Kaworu is just Shinji’s friend. A friend with a total lack of personal space and a penchant to stare whoever he’s talking to directly in the eyes, but a friend nonetheless.

They’ll never have to know.

“It definitely wasn’t Rei,” Shinji says, because honestly the idea is laughable. He begins gathering the flowers in his arms, but to his dismay, there are even more on the kitchen counter, and far too many to carry overall. “I think I know who it may be, though.”

“Who?” Asuka demands, but Shinji is out the door before she can pursue him further and luckily, there are too many flowers blocking her way to catch up. All he can hear is Misato’s distant laughing (unaware that this is all entirely her fault, probably) and then nothing.

x-x-x

He finds Kaworu is the expected position: cradling a cat by the side of the road. As though he can instinctively sense him coming, he turns to face Shinji once he gets close, gently playing with the cat’s paw.

“Shinji-kun!” he says, nearly beaming. “I see you received the flowers.”

“I… did…” Shinji says, speaking around the bouquet that nearly blocks his face. “Kaworu-kun, why are there so many…?”

“Red roses symbolize love,” Kaworu says immediately. “White carnations, pure love. Purple lilac, first love. Jasmine, sensual love. Forget-me-nots – well, I’m sure you know. And white dittany is said to be an aphrodis–”

“Kaworu-kun!” Shinji shouts even though there’s no one else around, and nearly drops the flowers in his haste. “Were you reading that book again?”

“The second chapter was on gift-giving,” Kaworu says, setting the cat down. It winds around his ankles and purrs. “Apparently men prefer fashionable watches or neckties, but flowers were another option. I thought you might prefer them more.”

“They’re pretty, but… you must’ve bought the entire store!”

“I just wanted to communicate every possible meaning I could,” Kaworu laughs softly as though enjoying some personal joke. “It’s fascinating how you Lilin assign an entirely new language to the weeds that grow around you. I find it charming.”

“I don’t really get it myself, but…” the cat meows at him and Shinji pets it tentatively. “This is… the first time I’ve ever received flowers.”

“Did you enjoy it, then?”

It’s just the two of them, so it’s probably okay. Shinji nods, ever so slightly. “Yes….Thank you, Kaworu-kun.”

“I’m glad, then.” Kaworu smiles like the sun and Shinji’s looks away, lest he be drawn in by Kaworu’s annoyingly irresistible charm.

“All I’m saying is, don’t go crazy because of what some book says,” Shinji tells Kaworu, glancing at him sideways. “I have no idea what we’re going to do with all of those flowers, we might have to throw some away…”

“How about you return them to the earth?” Kaworu suggests as the two of them begin walking down the street. The stray kitten follows behind, mewing plaintively after them.

“I don’t know, the stems are already cut….” Shinji says, glancing behind them. The one kitten following them has multiplied into several, and Kaworu has practically a kitten army on his tail by the time they get to the end of the street. “You really attract them, huh?”

“They seem to like me, and I think they’re cute.” Kaworu says, scooping another cat into his arms. “They remind me of you, Shinji-kun.”

Shinji looks away, embarrassed mostly because as cheesy as Kaworu is, he’s also completely earnest, and he probably meant that when he said it. “I’d say that little white one looks more like you.”

“What do you say we adopt it, then?” Kaworu says, and Shinji knows he’s probably joking but reacts instantly anyways.

“I don’t think I’m ready to be a parent.”

Kaworu laughs at him as they walk in the setting sun.

x-x-x

Shinji has become pretty accustomed to not getting much time with Kaworu at school, despite the fact that they’re in the same class and even sit relatively near to each other. It’s not surprising; Kaworu, in the same vein as Rei, is intelligent, athletic, and handsome enough to warrant a significant amount of popularity, particularly from female members of the class, who don’t seem to mind his occasional misunderstanding of human behaviors.

Shinji, on the flip side, enjoyed his most significant amount of popularity when his status as an EVA pilot was discovered, and since then has faded back into the background. And he’s fine with just being with Toji and Kensuke; even if he’s jealous of the crowd of girls that habitually surrounds Kaworu during lunch and break times, he’s long since accepted the hierarchy at school.

So he’s more than a little surprised when during lunch Kaworu places a pair of chopsticks in his face and says, “Shinji-kun, say aaaah.”

“Kaworu-kun, what –” Shinji realizes a little too late that he shouldn’t have asked, because Kaworu takes the opportunity to shove the chopsticks into his mouth, their contents unknown.

On instinct, Shinji swallows, and then gags as the taste hits his tongue, at once cloyingly sweet and then overwhelmingly salty. Kaworu raises the chopsticks again – it looks like he’s trying to feed him some kind of omelet – but Shinji makes sure to push them away before making inquiries this time.

“Kaworu-kun, what are you doing?” Shinji asks – despairingly, because he thinks he knows the answer already.

“The book said, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Kaworu looks immensely pleased with himself as he holds up a bento Shinji had not noticed before, packed to the brim with brightly colored foods Shinji can’t quite identify. “So I made you this.”

At this point Shinji is keenly aware of the looks Toji and Kensuke are giving him, from two desks away. They had initially resented Kaworu for his incredible success with the girls of the class, until Shinji had convinced them he had no interest in things like that – and then they went on to bemoan that he was squandering his luck by going for someone “like Shinji”.

Kaworu, for his part, had cheerfully proclaimed that any friend of Shinji’s was a friend of his.

Now the two of them are staring at Shinji in a way that suggests that they won’t say anything at that point in time, but are planning on giving him an earful later. All he can do at this point is count his blessings that Asuka is across the room eating with the class rep and paying them no attention.

“I wasn’t sure what you would like, so I tried a little bit of everything,” Kaworu says, pointing at each part of the bento box in turn. “I don’t need to eat, so I’m not well-versed in these matters, but I tried everything myself and I think you’ll like it.”

“Thank you, Kaworu-kun, this is….” Shinji examines the bento. It’s true that it’s much more substantial than the bread he was planning on eating instead (Misato wasn’t really one for packed lunches) and, well, Kaworu is talented at basically everything else, so Shinji has no reason to doubt his cooking. That first bite was just a little strong – it’s probably fine.

Still, he errs on the side of caution and goes for the safest option – white rice.

“Wait, Shinji-kun,” Kaworu says, tapping his chopsticks on the table. “Let me feed it to you.”

“Wait, wait, why do we have to –?”

“That’s what the book said to do,” Kaworu says, like the answer is perfectly obvious. “And I quite like the idea, myself.”

“Kaworu-kun –”

“What are you guys doing?” and without warning, Asuka is standing over their desks, arms crossed. “Half the class is looking over here like there’s a dead body.”

Shinji is dismayed to realize that she’s right – excepting Rei, who is mercifully reading a book and paying them no attention like usual. The urge to run away is stronger than ever before.

“Nagisa, is this bento yours?” Asuka asks. She doesn’t like Kaworu, and makes it abundantly clear. Shinji thinks they have quite possibly the least compatible personalities ever, and while Kaworu has never said a word about it, he suspects the feeling may be mutual. “I know Shinji can’t cook like this.”

“Yes, I made it.” Kaworu says pleasantly, disregarding – or perhaps contributing to – the tension in the air. “Do you want some, Asuka-san? I won’t feed you, though.”

Asuka looks visibly scandalized, and Kensuke chokes on his drink in the background, though whether from surprise or laughter, Shinji’s not sure.

“Gross, I wouldn’t want you to!”

“All right then,” Kaworu says, and he brings the chopsticks back up to Shinji’s mouth. “All right, Shinji-kun –”

And at that moment, Shinji can see connections inside Asuka’s head beginning to form, synapses forming an intricate web to his doom. Before she can even finish the sentence, “Wait, were those flowers the other day –” he has Kaworu by one hand and the bento in the other and is out the door before either of them can blink.

They end up on the school roof and in fashion truly unique to him, Kaworu is completely unbothered by Shinji’s abrupt exit from the classroom. Instead, he just presses a hand against the fences surrounding the roof and remarks, “It’s lovely at this time of day, isn’t it?”

“Kaworu-kun…”

Kaworu turns to face him, the slight wind ruffling his hair slightly. No matter how disarming his smile is, Shinji is still in awe sometimes of how handsome Kaworu is – for lack of a better word, angelic.

“I’m happy you’re doing all of this for me, but…” Shinji sits down on one of the benches, placing the bento in his lap. “It’s just, you know, doing it in front of everybody…”

“Lilin are very concerned about privacy,” Kaworu remarks, settling down on the bench next to Shinji and leaning back on his palms. “Is that why you wanted to be up here alone?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, if you’d rather be more private, then I’ll do my best to be that way too. Because I want you to be happy, Shinji-kun.” and he’s so sincere it makes Shinji’s chest tighten a little – but in the good way. The way only Kaworu can do.

“With that said…” Kaworu picks up the chopsticks again. “There’s no one else here, so is it alright if we pick up where we left off?”

And as embarrassingly lovey-dovey as it is, Shinji would be a liar if he said this exact scenario hadn’t occurred to him at least once, in the form of distant fever dreams, probably, but nonetheless – and so he agrees.

And actually, it tastes pretty good. Of course, Kaworu couldn’t screw up plain rice, and it’s actually impressive how many little fruits and vegetables he managed to cut up into cute flower shapes. A couple onigiri, some bamboo shoots, a little bit of Hamburg steak – the only part that tastes odd is the rolled omelet, which Shinji chews and swallows with reservation.

“Kaworu, what’s in this?” he asks when he’s done. Moreover, what kitchen did you use and where did you get these ingredients – but Shinji keeps those to himself, for now.

Kaworu thinks for a moment before responding. “Tomatoes, mushrooms, ginger, lemon peels, some pumpkin, soy sauce –”

“Why?”

“The book said omelets benefited from variety.”

And before Kaworu can feed him another piece, Shinji leans over to kiss him. Partially to protect his stomach for later. But also because, well, being alone together has its benefits sometimes.

x-x-x

“Shinji-kun.” They’re staring outside the door of Kaworu’s room in NERV headquarters and Kaworu is looking uncharacteristically serious. “I gave some thought to what you told me yesterday.”

“What was that, again….?”

“You wanted to keep things more private between us.” and then suddenly Kaworu’s waving that damn book around again, like he always carries it in his back pocket or something. “So, the next chapter in here was about physical affection.”

Shinji suddenly feels all the heat in his body rush to his… face. Kaworu can’t mean – definitely not, after all, they’ve showered together and shared the same bed and it’s just been kissing and hand-holding, up to this point. Kaworu’s not even human, there’s no way he’d have an interest in that, probably just saying “the things you Lilin do for reproductive purposes are so strange” –

…but, so far, he’s followed the book’s instructions thoroughly, and maybe it’s time – it’s finally time – and Shinji doesn’t think he’d be opposed –

And as all of this goes through Shinji’s head, Kaworu takes his face in his hands and kisses his forehead, cheeks, and nose in turn. Then he takes his hands and kisses his palms, and then each of his fingers.

Shinji actually starts crying.

“I’m sorry, did you not like it?” Kaworu says, looking legitimately distressed. “I thought it might be more intimate –”

“No, it’s fine,” Shinji says, because he doesn’t know how to articulate that “no one has ever touched me that tenderly in so long and I don’t know how to react” without delving into personal problems that have been buried so long it would be unwise to uncover them. He wipes at his face determinedly. “It’s just… not what I was expecting.”

“You were disappointed?”

“More… surprised.”

Kaworu touches his cheek lightly. “I apologize. What should I do instead?”

“Well… if you would try it again, I might know what to expect this time.”

Much, much later, once they’ve returned to Kaworu’s room, Shinji decides that this is his favorite chapter of that book to date.

x-x-x

It’s been about a week, and Shinji is starting to get curious. The book which Kaworu had been following so religiously was titled The Five Steps to Woo Any Man. And yet only four steps have occurred, at least to his knowledge so far. With how enthusiastic Kaworu had been, he wonders why the sudden stop – and then chastises himself for even expecting anything when he’s done nothing to deserve it.

Still, it remains on the back of his mind until one day they’re all walking home from school, Toji arguing with Asuka and Asuka trying to argue with Rei, when Kaworu takes Shinji by the arm and pulls him back.

“There’s something I want to show you,” he says, cryptic as usual, and then starts walking in the opposite direction of home, going fast enough that by the time anyone could notice their absence, they’re already down the hill and several streets away.

They end up traversing a part of the city Shinji is not familiar with, and his curiosity only grows as they leave the more populated areas behind and begin wandering through abandoned and rundown buildings, surrounded by the wreckage and detritus of the old world.

Just when Shinji thinks Kaworu must be either lost or seriously misled, he stops them in front of the ruins of a church, identifiable by the blown-out stained glass and miraculously still-standing pews. Most remarkably, though, is the piano sitting in the middle of it all, somehow still unblemished and in perfect shape, despite its dilapidated surroundings.

“Here, sit down.” Kaworu says, and Shinji sits next to him on the piano bench, admiring the faint glow of the ivory keys in the low light, untouched even by dust. He runs one finger across the smooth surface.

“The very last chapter of the book was a difficult one,” Kaworu says, resting his hands on the keys but not playing a note. “All it said was, share what you love.”

“That was it?”

“Yes. But when I thought about it… well, I realized I didn’t know enough about Earth to really have anything I loved that much. Just you. But that doesn’t really work, right?”

“No, I guess not…”

“But then I remembered,” and Kaworu breaks into a radiant smile. “The Lilin’s best invention is music. So I thought that we could share that.”

Shinji’s breath catches in his throat, a bit, and he has no idea what to say. It’s a simple gesture but somehow there’s some gravity to it, some incredible significance to something so small. He realizes, deeply and probably with much delay, just how much Kaworu has been thinking of him all this time.

Like he understands what Shinji’s thinking, Kaworu doesn’t wait for a response, and instead places his hands on the keys and plays a few notes. Graceful and deliberate, this, like everything else, seems to come easily to Kaworu. Shinji recognizes it as Beethoven, but knows little else.

When the song finishes, all Shinji can say is, “That’s beautiful.” For some reason Kaworu’s playing makes him choked up, but in a good way. Always in the good way.

Kaworu glances at him sidelong like he wants to say something, but for once opts not to. Instead he takes Shinji’s hand and lays his fingers lightly on the keys.

“I thought we could play a song together,” he says, and taps out a few notes. This one Shinji recognizes – Ode to Joy.

The song Kaworu was singing when they first met.

“It’s relatively simple, even for beginners.” Kaworu says. “I can teach you the notes.”

“I’d like to learn, but….” impulsively,  Shinji rests his head against Kaworu’s shoulder. “Could you first do another song for me? I like to listen to you play.”

“Of course,” Kaworu says, and he places his hands down again. Shinji listens and thinks how ridiculous this all is – the book and the steps and everything. Kaworu never needed any of that. He had his heart from the beginning.

Above the sound of the piano, Shinji’s not sure if Kaworu will hear his whispered “I love you”. But he must have, because he smiles ever so slightly and begins to play another song.

[uten4]

I’m finally properly watching the NGE rebuilds and 20 minutes in I already have so many questions.

The scene where Shinji is conflicted over getting in the Eva honestly feels a little... rushed? Especially Misato’s dialogue. She says, “Shinji, you musn’t run away. Not from your father, not from yourself.” This seems over-familiar considering that they just met, because the normal assumption to make would be that Shinji is trying to run away from the obvious danger involved in fighting a giant monster. Was Misato able to guess his actual state of mind just based on what he says? Is she projecting her issues onto him? From what I recall, throughout the series Misato kind of flip-flops between genuine intuition and projecting her assumptions about the world onto others, especially Shinji.

Also, was it ever explained how a healthy Rei was able to appear before Shinji at the very start of NGE? Was it supposed to be one of her clones? Come to think of it, it’s possible that many things involving Rei are just supposed to be surreal. Because Shinji apparently had a dream about his parents discussing what they would name their future child-- “Shinji if it’s a boy, Rei if it’s a girl.” It’s obviously impossible for him to have actually remembered such a conversation. A possible explanation for this, aside from surrealism, is that Shinji constructed the memory.  It sort of makes sense that upon meeting Rei, a clone of his mother, he subconsciously noted their similarities and thus constructed the “memory” of his parents’ conversation. 

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion, episode 15: Lies and Silence

Before I begin, I was thinking about it this morning and I'm wondering if NERV is indeed trying to bring on the apocalypse (and to create an Eden for fetus Adam to live in) and the Angels are in fact the good guys trying to stop them. There's a lot of talk about saving humanity but it kind of seems to me like the second impact was due to humans killing an Angel, who then exploded? It makes me wonder what kind of research they were doing on that Arctic base (Antarctic?) Idk, but to me it seems like humanity as a whole has not been in danger from the Angels: it's just NERV. But I'm also kind of hung up on the Instrumentality part of the Human Instrumentality project. Instrumental for what?

Anyway, I'll keep wondering on it, but I'm going to start the episode.

"Every project is interlinked"

is the first time we're hearing about the Marduk institute?

Oh, okay. So it sounds like the Human Instrumentality project is about trying to find kids to pilot the Evangelions. That makes sense. They are the instruments in piloting the Evas. So perhaps Adam has been genetically engineered to be the perfect pilot.

Asuka! Oh my gosh! Girl who cried wolf!

Shinji has been preoccupied with Rei since that thing happened in Unit 0, maybe?

Asking Rei for advice on how to talk to his own dad. Poor kid

He's comparing Rei to a mother. IS SHE A CLONE OF HIS MOTHER. Also, he's so awkward.

Or maybe she's a robot with his mother's personality inside. Oooooooh.

When Asuka asked to borrow Misato's lavender perfume my first thought was of Love Spell.

Oh, he's going to see his mother tomorrow! She's alive and also apparently negligent.

I'm chuckling because my first thought on seeing Kaji was, "You couldn't even shave for your friend's wedding?" and then Misato got on him for the same thing lol.

Nope, his mom is actually dead.

That's a very stark cemetery.

So he can't remember her face, there are no photographs that exist, the grave is just a facade... So mysterious.

"I see." What an ass.

I didn't know Shinji played an instrument! And so beautifully!

Shinji is so sweet and positive. I just love him so much.

Ritsuko's comment on transistasis and homeostasis has me thinking about the potential that NERV is trying to force human evolution. Perhaps they want to create a symbiotic relationship with the Evas? I don't know about that... Trying to evolve them to be compatible with technology? Space travel? Is the planet doomed?

Kaji is such a smooth talker.

Yeah, kiss her. That'll shut her up.

Asuka, Jesus Christ. Mocking Shinji about his dead mom to bully him into kissing you. Girl, please.

I'm wheezing! He turned fuschia!

Is it because he couldn't breathe? Omg

Asuka... Sweetheart... You're just repeating his warning back to him.

I wonder if Asuka realizing Misato and Kaji have a thing is going to interfere with her ability to complete her next mission.

There's the central dogma! Rei's in a tube hooked up to what looks like a metal brain.

Okay, so I'm thinking about how when Shinji was in Unit 0 he was like, "Oh, it's Rei. Wait, that's not-" and then creepy Rei looked up at him and jumped towards him and that is when Unit 0 flipped out and started trying to get to the real Rei. So I am thinking there are perhaps multiple people inside Rei (this is also influenced by the fact that when I was looking up to see if ep. 14 was a recap episode I saw it mentioned that Rei is schizophrenic. However, I'm not sure I believe she's actually schizophrenic. I kind of think she is actually harboring another person and that it's Shinji's mother.)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH ADAM IS THE FIRST ANGEL?

I had kind of wondered if there was an Angel inside the facility. I had initally assumed there would be one kept top secretly but they kept saying how they needed to catch one for research so I was like, "Oh, maybe not, but that's weird that they wouldn't have on after all this time." Especially with everything they seem to know about them. I figured it had to be they either created them or were studying them.

In Closing

I'm so excited! Mysteries are starting to come to light!

Okay, let me see if I can organize my current theories:

Rei might be an imprint Shinji's mother - possibly she's an android, possibly just a person with an especially impressionable brain. But I think that there's Rei the girl and then also the additional personality/ies if this is the case.

NERV is going to perhaps force human evolution using genetic engineering. Or, they might be planning an apocalypse. The Angels may be trying to stop this from happening. I really have no idea.

I just considered that given the ages of the children and the timeline of the second impact, is it possible that children who were in-utero/ conceived around or after that time have some kind of Angel influence within their DNA? Like some kind of radiation? Could this be why only kids can operate the Evas? Are Angels neccessary for the next phase of whatever NERV has planned?

I feel like there's more but I want to hurry up and get to the next episode, so bye.

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Nichijou, Episodes 20-23

One more for the road! In which the pace of my thoughts finally starts slowing down and the supporting cast gets fleshed out nicely.

Fleshing Out

You know, it’s a testament to how much this show has going on that we’re over twenty episodes into what’s essentially a variety sketch comedy and I’m still finding new and interesting things to say about it. Daily Lives pretty much had me tapped out after the halfway point, and that was just episode six. Nichijou, meanwhile, has so much stuff going on in both the foreground and background, in the characters and animation, in the text and texture, that I’m constantly able to pull one thread until it unspools into a multi-paragraph discussion of some aspect of the show I just picked up on. That’s how you can tell it’s doing its job right.

That being said, I think I am now starting to run up against the wall in terms of new things to talk about that aren’t just repetitions of points I’ve already made. Most of the interesting stuff these episodes isn’t anything particularly new; it just a lot of little details fleshing out the cast a little more. But that stuff’s still good! Sakurai discovering a porn mag in her brother’s room led to one of the most delightfully awkward sibling bonding exercises of all time, and Mio’s sister helps bridge the character divide between the upperclassmen and underclassmen in interesting ways. Oh, and Mai and Hakase bonding over drawing sharks? Aesthetic as fuck. We’re getting a lot of opportunities to see new character pairs/groups interact going into the final stretch, and it goes a long way to keeping the comedy still feeling fresh this far in, even without a real over-arching narrative. I’m sad we’re almost at the end, but I’m secure in the knowledge that Nichijou will be able to bring it home. What a wonderful ride it’s been

The Secondary Trio

The characters who get the most fleshed out in this bit are the “secondary trio” of upperclassmen: Misato the tsundere and her friends Fe and Ueboshii. It’s really cool to see a show with this many varieties of women interacting; Misato and her friends feel decidedly more mature than their kouhais, though they definitely still have that  crazy streak. The scene where Fe drops her ice pop and tries to stay positive about the situation until she’s broken by a runaway bike (in a fantastic payoff to a joke I didn’t even realize was being set up) had me in stitches. Also, plenty of more Misato x Sasahara shipping fodder, which is never a bad thing. If we don’t get a confession by the time the show ends, I’mma flip a table. Just saying.

Odds and Ends

-Mio’s manga is to lewd for Nano. pfft

-Okay look, I have stabbed myself with a mechanical pencil before, and it does indeed hurt, but it didn’t make me shoot a laser beam of pain strong enough to literally break through Jupiter

-”DO YOU WANT ME TO ERASE YOU?!?!” Stone cold, Mio.

-Who puts the expiration date on the food itself? I don’t think that’s proper protocol, melon bread manufacturer.

-”Shabadabbadoo!” oh my god Sakamoto

-What a goddamn freakout. Mio has put up with your shit for long enough, Yuuko. What even do you mean, calamari?

-Please tell me someone made a dance remix out of Yuuko getting hit on the head by the notebook. I will be very disappointed otherwise.

-”They say a good man is full of pineapple juice!” I beg you fucking pardon

-”GOOD ENOUGH!” This teacher’s gonna kill me I swear to god

-”It’s no use. He’s dead.” why does everybody die so easily in this zeppelin asdlkjasda

-”Alias: None, really” pfft

-”You can ask for a little of a lot...” Hakase, are you trying to poison me with concentrated cute? Because I am 100% okay with that.

-he’s so scared he’s melting askdjhaskdj

-Okay what’s with Yuuko and pain-induced laser beams today

-BUDDY BEST DOG! And he even has a little brother! GOOD BOYS!

-”Who even decided this was my room?” Makoto: master of evasion.

-”I want to be a nice teacher like you!” homigosh Yuuko you gotta warn me before you steal my heart like that

Three episodes left! We’ll see if Gintama is working tomorrow, but if not, see you tomorrow for the conclusion of this wonderful show!

[agoddamn]

As much as I still don't know what the fuck is going on as far as this world goes, the Eva aesthetic is still cool as FUCK. The grown-ups in plugsuits is a lowkey fangirl moment...even if I still don't quite dig the cat-ear helmets

I like that USB-flipping detail wwww

Maya is sitting in the same knee-fucking way she did in the series here

...Kensuke and Touji grew up pretty good

Reliving Wall of Jericho scene?

plugsuit + haori is also a good look

the music here keeps being...really intrusive? honestly thought it was a [cough] copy thing for a moment until I looked up an OST and recognized the tracks...

also reliving Kimochi Warui I guess. No idea what the dub does but I think Asuka deserves a "fuck" here

PENPEN MADE IT?! ;;A;;

I get the impression that Asuka is avoiding wearing the plugsuit daily so she doesn't have to wash it and I just like all the little details that add up to this feeling (shots of the suit stuffed with the laundry, the clearly-borrowed shirts, intercut with Rei (?) wearing her suit plus accessories, etc)

MISATO PREGNANT?!

"hey Shinji I came to say congrats on getting over your exploding head trau--"

I like the white+red/pink plugsuits, but 2+8 is ugly (oh, 2+8 is gone forever? good)

That burr sounds familiar-- *checks wiki* --KOYASU IS AOBA?!

...I will say that direction-wise, between all the red and the greebles it's fucking hard to tell what's happening in this NERVHQ attack

The Rest

Alright, time to start catching up on all the pop culture shit I missed for real

LET'S GOOOOO

[zephyrthejester]

Let’s talk at length about NGE episode 15′s final minute

After Episode 15 of Neon Genesis Evangelion, everything changed. Everything! And the idea of moving straight on from it with such little fanfare didn't sit right with me. Not when nearly all my theories were tossed out the window, not when many past events got re-contextualized. Not when I've obtained some entirely new theories...! So today, in an effort to gather all my thoughts in one place so you readers are on the same page as I am as we move forward, I'm going to write an essay on the final minute of NGE's fifteenth episode... and also some other details I haven't talked about yet.

Ready for some words? Click "Keep Reading" to continue.

Part 1: Adam and...?

We need to talk about the big, white, seven-eyed elephant in the room first thing. Adam, the First Human. Adam, the First Angel. Adam, the Enemy. Crucified and skewered by the Lance of Longinus, as I've been informed, in the exact same manner that Christ himself suffered. So what is his deal?

My first thought here was that the Angel attacks on Tokyo-3 haven't been to destroy the city and Nerv HQ, but to rescue Adam and bring him home. Or maybe to trigger Third Impact... But then I remembered that there were multiple Angel attacks on the city well before Adam was delivered to it, which greatly complicates that theory. I've nothing to continue with concerning this matter, so I guess I'll have to move on to talking about his origin.

Misato identified Adam as being the cause of Second Impact. There was the briefest flash of the roof of a building being torn apart by the winds of the incoming explosion, which I remember from the flashback to Second Impact we had a few episodes ago. That's proof enough for me. It is very reasonable to assume that Adam is indeed the First Angel that was discovered and experimented on by a team of scientists, Misato's father among them. And as we'd recall, it was specifically human meddling that incited Second Impact.

But what happened to Adam immediately afterwards? When Kaji handed him off to Gendo, he was encased in an amber-like substance and in the form of a fetus. The fetus form, I'm guessing, being a default state that all Angels are born/created in before emerging from their Chrysalis and taking their true shape. Remember Clusthulhu's initial similarity to Adam? I can only assume that Adam reverted to fetus form and was flash frozen following Second Impact. I think that the folk at Nerv let Adam take his true shape, then crucified him.

And now Gendo wants to kill him. But is that all? Kill him with the Lance of Longinus, and no more Angels appear? Humanity is saved? Is he slowly dying after being stabbed with the Lance, or are further plans in store? Is the Lance even killing him, or doing something else entirely? Is this the Human Instrumentality Project? I guess time will have to tell. Right now, all I can do is speculate.

Moving on, I'd like to note that Adam is probably very, very special among Angels. He bleeds golden blood, for one thing. I know that the other Angels are identified as having "blue blood type," even though they bleed red. Weird. Furthermore, he is probably the progenitor of Humanity, if the humanoid growths on its lower half are any indication. They aren't moving, so maybe the Lance put a stop to that... Oh yeah! Remember how Angels share 99.89% matching DNA with humans? Now we know why! In a sense, is the being called “Adam” closer to “God?”

Finally, we need to talk about something really big. Like, really important. 'Cause man, there's still one Angel unaccounted for. The Second Angel. And you know it, man, you just know it... Where there's an Adam, there has to be an Eve.

And I speculate that "Eve" is none other than Evangelion Unit 01.

Why else would Gendo place extreme importance on the safety of Unit 01, even beyond the other two Evangelions? Why else would the intro of this show prominently depict Unit 01 sprouting golden wings that strongly resemble those that Adam sprouted during Second Impact? And you just know it'd be the juiciest drama for the show's main character to one day discover.

Following this theory, I'm going to have to assume that the other two Eva units are purely artificial. After the Simulation Bodies were shown to us, it seems likely. Or, just maybe, Eve was really flipping huge and all three Evas are made of her flesh, too.

Part 2: Gendo and Seele

I'm grateful to have been informed that the HIPC is really just Seele. Those other bigwigs at the council in the dark room? They're Seele. At least, that's what I've gathered. I get the sense that Gendo is sort of lone-wolfing it... Though the others speak down to him like they're his superiors, Gendo is self-assured because he holds all the cards. And that is true. Something tells me that if it came down to it, Gendo would be willing to totally screw over Seele just to do what he thinks is right. But for now, it seems they're all working towards fulfilling the Human Instrumentality Project. Though there's no telling if Gendo and Seele's vision of the HIP are identical.

One big mystery is what Gendo was doing in the Antarctic a few episode ago. It was well after Adam was delivered, so it couldn't have been related to that, right? For some reason, Gendo personally payed a visit to the site of Second Impact... But to do what, exactly? Why did he need to be there?

I'd also like to mention the strange long, thin object covered by a tarp in the Moby Dick episode. Looking back on it, that was probably the Lance of Longinus, yeah? That really confuses me. Is the Lance man-made, then? What's so special about it that it's apparently needed to kill Adam? Was it picked up from Germany along with Asuka and Kaji, or did it come from somewhere else? Still a lot of mysteries here.

Part 3: Rei and Shinji

It's pretty clear that Rei is indeed genetically engineered now. To pilot an Evangelion, certainly. To wield the Lance of Longinus and stab Adam, most probably. But what comes next for Rei? Does she have more business with Adam in the future? Why is it that she and Gendo are so close? Rei is definitely intentionally keeping secrets from Shinji, not that the boy asks any questions anyway.

If it comes down to it, I won't be surprised if Rei sides with Gendo over Shinji and Asuka if some sort of conflict arises.

Furthermore, the vat Rei was floating in was hooked up to a giant machine that looked a lot like the Magi. Did the Magi help create her, then? (Does that mean Rei is technically Ritsuko's sister?) And furthermore, what was Rei doing in that vat, anyway? Regenerating, or something? Undergoing further DNA modifications? It's really weird!

Part 4: Misato and Kaji

I haven't said this yet, but Misato is my favorite character on the show. I really admire her calculating, razor-sharp decisiveness during Angel attacks, and outside of those situations, she's truly the only person who shows Shinji any true kindness and warmth. I've only just realized it, but her conflicted feelings for her father really does make her like Shinji. The two are far more similar than I've given them credit for. And the thing is, because Misato sees so much of herself in Shinji, she can really offer just the right words of encouragement to help him out. She’s a great character.

Then there's Kaji. I didn't mention it at the time, but we learned who he's really working for: Japan's Ministry of Home Affairs. So he's working for just some standard-fare government thing? How boring. Still, I guess I should be grateful that the scale of wackiness doesn't go beyond Seele.

When it comes to Misato and Kaji's relationship, well... If Misato loves him, knowing full well the sort of man he is, I guess it's kinda okay? I just hope the nature of their jobs don't land them in deep trouble down the line. Things could really turn dangerous and nasty if stuff hit the fan, y'know?

Part 5: Asuka and Shinji

Let's end this on a happy note, shall we? I can't believe I'm only now realizing it, but Asuka is just a straight up tsundere. I've even noticed her many attempts at showing off for Shinji's benefit and her many gripes that Shinji isn't more interesting. Heck, there was even the synchronization training! But it's only now clicked...

So what prompted the kiss? I'd wager that spending a day out with some boy from school on an arranged blind date was what did it. She probably spent all that time thinking about a certain someone she'd much rather be with! Claiming to be bored, that she did it just for fun, is her way of making an excuse so she could back out of it and maintain her self-perceived dignity.

Shinji being a lonely, horny teenager who was already attracted to her, yeah, I'd guess that he'd be more than willing to pursue Asuka. He almost passed out holding his breath for the kiss, after all. If Asuka said "Shinji, we're dating now," I guarantee you he'd say "O-okay." Though I can imagine that the shipping wars in this fandom must have been... intense... during its heyday.

So yeah, guess that's all the thoughts in my head vomited out. Not sure how to end this, so... See you with more Evangelion tomorrow!