#also I don’t think keeping said depressed married man who basically lost everything he loves prisoner in order for him to love you

[soft-cloud-pillows]

Athena pls come pick this man up before this becomes his 13th reason why 😭😭😭

Calypso really admits to Odysseus he is trapped there with her cause of her spell, and expects him to be happy about it?? Girl- literally the first thing you heard him say, in his sleep mind you- was his wife’s name-

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to part 1 of the finale to the BackupKingdom2 saga! We’re in our final ambition now, let’s check how Liz’s post-divorce-bloodbath is going..

Oh yes, excellent. Our path to death-achievement-glory has been paved with so many executions that wherever I look I see npcs crying..

..comforting each other..

..and in Agnes' case, coming straight to Liz to.. ask for mercy for the populace I guess?? Bruh. I can't believe we even brought down AGNES, truly this is the saddest kingdom on earth. Amazing job, Liz, you've definitely earned your place in the tyrant hall of fame!

Now a lesser player would be like "oh, maybe we should chill a little on the insane tyrant thing, finish the Pirate/Noble arc cause we've been dragging this war out so the pirates/guildsmen would keep spawning and it should have ended like 20 quests ago" and true, we could just end it, we ran a very effective operation around here, shoutout to MVPs Donius and Bellinda and their 'seductive' legendary traits:

They bedded them and Liz beheaded them, the power of teamwork! So one could say that we should consider raising kingdom morale now because everyone is so depressed but I think, if anything, now is the time to ramp it up and go for some of the other morally questionable achievements! Like Machiavelli said, you should commit all your atrocities at once! What do you think, Liz? Ready to get atrocious?

-OH FUCK YEA, I’M ENRAGED, I DROPPED MY FIDDLE IN THE PIT AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SERVANT TO GET ME A NEW ONE!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME >:(

Aw I’m sorry Liz, but I’m sure you the upcoming suffering of your subjects will cheer you up!

-Ok motherfuckers, by order of the Crown aka ME -you hear that Rae?? ME, NOT YOU. God I want to execute you so bad, fucking ingrate, do you remember what rags you were wearing when I hired you??  

Let’s get this back on track, Liz.

-Right, so by order of the Crown, Magus Olivia and Spymaster Spainot are given COMPLETE LEGAL IMMUNITY to do whatever the fuck they want in the interest of earning achievements, so don’t you people come crying to me cause I don’t give one tiny chinchilla crap about your health and livelihoods. If you need me for something actually important, I'll be at the gates, executing anyone who doesn't like my fiddle playing.

-Oh man, this folksy peasant hat isn’t protecting my ears enough.

-THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR YOUR LITTLE MURMUR, DID YOU  -YOUR MAJESTY NO I ONLY MEANT MY EARS WERE COLD -WELL ALL OF YOUR BODY’S ABOUT TO BE COLD NOW! CONSTABLE, THROW THIS PEASANT IN THE PIT

-Death marker? I hardly know 'er!

So the Constable npc has this little Billy Elliot subplot going, I'm pretty sure he has the 'drunkard' fatal flaw because he was always at the tavern so I had Bellinda try to hire him to perform in one of her plays just to see what would happen and it actually worked, and now he moonlights as an actor! It's cute but it also takes forever for him to come arrest people.

-THEY LOVE ME ❤️😁 -CONSTABLE WHATSYOURNAME, COME OVER HERE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR YOU'RE NEXT FOR THE PIT

-No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, when someone dies😢

In the background you can see that Bellinda just got a pregnancy bump, it’s her lovechild with Donius, I for real can’t keep these two apart. Anyway, the time has come..

..to unleash Magus Olivia onto the populace.

-You know what, I'd rather not, this book is finally getting good and I'm sick of cursing peasants, it doesn't even drop their mood that much..

Oh no, Olivia my beloved, we're not cursing them, we're going for the 'Well Done' achievement!

-NO WAY.

WAY.

-Won't I be executed??

You have immunity! You can do whatever you want!! And, AND, once you complete it, because I know it's tiring, I'll give you a magic skeletal parrot as a gift!! Edward got all the materials for it while treasure-hunting, you'd think I'd let him keep it but that's not the kind of shop I'm running here.

-This is my face of pure, childlike happiness!

Good lord, it’s terrifying, please don’t look at me like that.

-Alright, time to roll down my sleeves so they look more sinister and do this thing.

You can do it, Olivia!

-Of course I can, save your reassurance for the flops that need it.

-I.. cast.. INFERNO!

...

-What?

I mean really, those are the words, "I cast inferno"? Can't you say something with more evil magical flair?

-Not when I have to cast it 80 fucking times I can't.

-IT BURNS, IT BURNSSSSS

Oh how the tables have turned, usually it's the witch that gets burned, huhu! Did you hear that, Olivia? Did you like my joke??

-Oh, it's beautiful!

Well it wasn't one of my best-

-Not you, you needy moron, the sight of burning flesh! I can't wait to do this 79 more times!

Alright, so everyone in the tavern has been turned into a chicken nugget, time to get some rest and check in with Spainot!

-Amazing news, Rodolfo, I just got royal permission to unlawfully lock up and interrogate whoever I want for the achievements!!!

-Darling, no offense, but aren't you a bit too shit at your job for that? -WHAT????

-FUCK YOU RODOLFO YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS -I WISH I WAS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU'D BE SUCCESSFUL AND I WOULDN'T BE MARRIED TO A BROKE LOSER

-And then he says the only reason he hasn't dumped me is he doesn't wanna be a rando npc while Batshit Liz is on an execution spree, can you believe this bullshit? How can anyone be so hurtful??

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NO PLEASE DON'T HAVE THIS CHINCHILLA MAUL ME I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

-How about you give me some marital advice, are you even listening?! Ugh.

That's right, while Olivia is inferno-ing the peasants, I've sicced Spainot on the nobility, specifically all those foreign diplomats that are always hanging in the reception hall, lagging up the place. We're going for the 100 interrogations achievement and we’ve installed a nice spiky torture chair right in the middle of the hall to save time! Now this is how we keep every stratum of society terrified enough to not realize that the person in charge is.. uh.. well you know:

-DANCE TO MY FIDDLE, PIRATE, DANCE!

-I AM!!!!!

-DANCE MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. ALL THE WAY TO THE PIT

After a couple days and several locations I feel we’re pretty close to 80 infernos!

I’d say we’ve burned a good 50-60% of the population at this point, everywhere I look I see singed townies-

-so we take this little barbecue to the palace because we’ve ran out of peasants and it’s time to start burning the foreign dignitaries. And it’s a good thing we do, because Olivia meets Nyrexis the Dragon!!!! 

Nyrexis is the human form of the dragon from a hilar quest where there’s a dragon in the kingdom and you can either befriend it or slay it, I had Bellinda befriend it:

So if you complete the befriend route of the quest, the human form of the dragon appears in town and is in love with whoever did the quest, in this case Bellinda. I am of course not about to waste Dragonfu on Bellinda’s basic ass, plus I feel Olivia is kind of a dragon with all the people she’s been burning so they have a lot in common! 

We dazzle Dragonfu with a coin trick! True magic at work.

-OMG IT WAS BEHIND MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME -I KNOW!

Good God, all of Olivia’s ‘happy’ expressions are terrifying, just don’t smile ever again, you’re too evil for it, you’re gonna scare the dragon away!

Or not!!!!

 AWWWWW 🐲❤️🔮

You know what, fuck it, let’s lock it down, when it’s right it’s right!

-Burn stuff with me forever?? -I WILL!!!!

-We are gathered here today, under threat of fiery death, to join two unholy abominations in holy matrimony. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. 

AW CONGRATS GUYS <3333 The wizard tower is so small and family un-friendly and Olivia is so unmaternal but come on, like I’m not gonna have her reproduce with a fucking dragon.

Back to Spainot, we’ve hit a slight bump, mainly that this Snordwich lord is proving fucking impossible to torture. 

-Um.. Are you enjoying this??? -Sure am, bad boy, but why don’t we take this somewhere more private already?

Wtf, stop sexually harassing the innocent person who’s torturing you! Does no one around here have any sense of humanity anymore??

-Come on, Spainot, throw some flesh-eating rodents at him! -I’M BUILDING UP TO IT, RAE, GAWD. No one likes a back-seat torturer!

-HA, who’s the loser now, Rodolfo? Rodolfo?? RODOLFO

Ya Spai I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure he left while you were interrogating, I haven’t seen him in like 3 days.

-WHAT. So Olivia completes one achievement and gets a dragon wife and a magic skeletal bird and I complete three and get dumped?!

Well what do you want from me, I don’t make the rules!

-YES YOU DO

Can we move on, please? And Olivia had a very rough go of it-

-she got burned in some rando quest and looked positively karma-stricken after, inferno-ing left and right while sporting this look! She deserves a magic bird!

Congrats on your success and 4 kids, Olivia! 

-I love this skeleton bird more than I thought it possible to ever love something.

-Gee, thanks mom. 

We had leftover bones so here, Spainot, you get a magic bird too.

-A bone parrot is little comfort when you’ve lost the only bone that matters! Why Rodolfo, whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I don’t know, probably because you challenged him to duels 3 times a day?

-No, that can’t be it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you look like a man who has nothing to live for?

-Yea, I certainly don’t.

So you wouldn’t mind like, jumping into the pit multiple times so you can get the parts we need for the hardest achievement in game aka Legendary Doomsword?

-Rodolfo had one of those too, it was legendary and now that it’s gone I’m doomed!!!

Ok ya ENOUGH metaphors about Rodolfo’s absent penis, although they really are writing themselves. We’ll get him back! If you survive all the pit jumping that is. Join us next time for part 2: Legendary Doomsword!

[tcm]

Sammy Davis Jr.: Civil Rights Activist and Natural Born Entertainer By Susan King

Sammy Davis Jr. was an exceptional talent. He could sing (you’ll get chills up your spine listening to his recording of ��I Gotta Be Me”), dance, act and lest we forget, he was a member of the Rat Pack. He and Harry Belafonte made history in 1956 when they became the first African Americans to earn Emmy nominations.

But most people forget Davis was also very involved in the fight for civil rights in the 1950s and ‘60s. In January 1961, he joined Rat Packers Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, as well as Harry Belafonte, Mahalia Jackson and Tony Bennett, for the Carnegie Hall benefit concert Tribute to Martin Luther King. He also performed at the Freedom Rally in Los Angeles that year and at the March on Montgomery in 1965.

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. even wrote Davis a thank you note: “Not very long ago, it was customary for Negro artists to hold themselves aloof from the struggle for equality… Today, greats like Harry Belafonte, Sidney Poitier, Mahalia Jackson and yourself, of course, are not content to merely identify with the struggle. They actively participate in it, as artists and as citizens, adding the weight of their enormous prestige and thus helping to move the struggle forward.”

In 1968, Davis received the prestigious Spingarn Medal from the NAACP for his 1965 autobiography Yes, I Can. Nevertheless, considering his work for the late Dr. King, Davis shocked the world in 1972 when he supported Richard Nixon, who had a poor track record when it came to civil rights and would refer to African Americans in derogatory terms behind closed doors. But there was Davis, attending the opening night of the Republican convention in Miami Beach and then performing a concert for Republican youth. And it was during the concert that he hugged Nixon.

The backlash in the African American community was loud and strong. Wil Haywood stated in his biography In Black and White: The Life of Sammy Davis, Jr., “Sammy failed to understand Blacks’ distrust of Nixon’s ultraconservative views. The hug at the Republican National Convention, in the glare of the nation’s spotlight, seemed too to minstrelsy.“

Davis later said: “By their definition I had let them down. In their minds there were certain things I could do, certain rules I could break. I married a white woman and I hardly got any heat. But by going with a Republican president I had broken faith with my people.”

In a 1976 Ebony interview, Davis reflected that working with Nixon was not a betrayal to African Americans but a way to help Black citizens. “When my wife, Altovise, and I were invited to the White House after the November elections, I repeated [my recommendations],” he noted. “We started to rap, and he asks, ‘What can I do?’ Come on Sam, tell me what I can do.’ So, I laid it down again.”

He told Nixon that the funds cut from anti-poverty programs needed to be reinstated and that Martin Luther King’s birthday should be made a national holiday. But he soon realized Nixon wasn’t listening to him. He regretted supporting Nixon.

Davis was born in Harlem on December 8, 1925 to vaudevillians Sammy Davis Sr. and Elvera Sanchez, who was of Afro-Cuban descent. The couple separated in 1928, and Sammy Jr. lived with his father and his grandmother, Mama. He was just three when he joined the Will Mastin Trio with his father and Mastin. Davis never went to school. In a 2014 Los Angeles Times interview, his daughter Tracey Davis recalled her father telling her, “What have I got? No looks, no money, no education. Just talent.”

As a youngster, he appeared in short films, including Rufus Jones for President (’33). He toured with the Mastin Trio until he was drafted into the Army during World War II, where he suffered so much abuse from white soldiers that his nose was broken three times. “How did he make it and so many others not make it?,” Tracey Davis reflected. “He had talent. But what he went through would have killed a lot of people or make them bitter or just messed with your life so bad you couldn’t get over it.”

In 1954, Davis survived a car crash on his way home to Los Angeles after performing in Vegas. He lost an eye. He wore an eye-patch for six months and then was fitted with a glass eye. Two years later, he opened on Broadway in the musical Mr. Wonderful.

It was announced in August 2020 that a film is in pre-production about the ill-fated relationship in 1957 between Davis and Kim Novak. The relationship was quashed, as it would have killed Novak’s career and supposedly, it quite literally would have killed Davis – a hit was allegedly put out on his life. To keep the heat off of him, Davis was briefly married in 1958 to dancer Loray White.

In 1960, Davis married striking Swedish actress Mai Britt. According to Tracey Davis, her mother, who had appeared THE YOUNG LIONS (‘58) and THE BLUE ANGEL (‘59), was dropped by 20th Century-Fox because of her marriage. Tracey said her parents “didn’t regret being together. My mom loved my dad like crazy and my dad loved my mother. My mother was so lucky because her parents didn’t care.” Though they divorced in 1968, she said they never fell out of love. Before his death of cancer in 1990 at the age of 64, Davis told his daughter why they broke up: “I just couldn’t be what she wanted me to be. A family man. My performance schedule was rigorous.”

Tracey said that her dad and Sinatra were great friends offstage. “He was like a good cushion for dad.” And, if Davis ran into trouble due to his race, Sinatra was there to fight the good fight for his friend. “He’d say, ‘Oh, Sammy can’t come in here? Then I’m not coming in.’ I think it gave my dad such comfort knowing he had this big brother out there that would go to the mat for him.” Davis, who was a chain smoker and was rarely seen without a glass of vermouth, had a falling out with Sinatra in the early 1970s, because the performer was using drugs. “Frank was mad he was squandering himself, doing stupid things. He let dad know about it and dad was kind of well, I don’t care.’’ Eventually, Davis did care and apologized to the Chairman of the Board.

Being a member of the Rat Pack gave Davis a certain visibility, especially in the films they made together, including OCEAN’S 11 (‘60) and ROBIN AND THE 7 HOODS (‘64), but all of the actors were just having a good time on screen. These vehicles didn’t show Davis’s strength as a dramatic actor. But occasionally, he got the opportunity, such as in ANNA LUCASTA (‘58) opposite Eartha Kitt, CONVICTS 4 (‘62) and A MAN CALLED ADAM (‘66). And in 1964, he returned to the Broadway stage in the Charles Strouse-Lee Adams musical Golden Boy, for which he earned a Tony nomination.

“He was very representative of a time and place,” said Strouse in a 2003 L.A. Times interview. “He was created from a lot of forces, like the Earth coming in and ‘whoop,’ here comes Sammy Davis. He was brilliant along with everything else. He was the biggest star of the day and in the theater, he had no peer. We sold out all the time.”

But Davis also missed a lot of performances of Golden Boy. “He got himself very tired or perhaps depressed or nervous,” reflected Stouse, adding that Davis stretched himself thin “the way lemmings go to the edge of the cliff and then they go off. He didn’t go off, but he was always on the end of the cliff. He was very driven and yet very mild-mannered and almost submissive to Sinatra. He had to be loved. He wouldn’t get off the stage.”

As he got older, Davis stopped wearing flashy clothes and jewelry and got back to basics as a singer and performer. And, he is the best thing about his last film, TAP (‘89), with Gregory Hines. Their tap dance will make your heart beat a bit faster. Tracey Davis said though her father was “incredibly driven,” he had a “huge heart, a zest for life. He had more energy than anyone I had known.”

[cheershalo]

By request, here are some of my favorite angsty fics in order longest to shortest. Some of these are angstier than others but I wanted to give a good range!

*note: make sure to read the tags because some of these deal with heavier topics! take care of yourself!

*also: most of these are b!L because that’s what i like to read! smut or no-smut is marked as well as the basic tags!

Remember to leave kudos and comment on all these lovely fics if you decide to read!!

💔 pray for some sweet simplicity by @eeveelou​ | E | 237k | abo | b!L - (motorcycles, racer louis, journalist harry, slow burn, a classic)

An AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

💔 Collision by @tequiladimples​ | E | 225k | b!L - (mythology/fantasy, fairy louis, dark harry, enemies to lovers, slow burn, love love love)

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

💔 And I Wait for Paradise by You_Just_Mightx3 | NR | 209k | abo | b!L - (addiction, ptsd, pining, best friends to lovers, eventual mpreg, so heartbreaking and heart-wrenchingly beautiful)

The one where it’s not the Harry who touched Louis’ heart that comes home, but an addict thought to be hopeless. A paradise above addiction when Louis wins so does Harry.

💔 Don’t Let It (Me) Break by @falsegoodnight​ | E | 169k | b!L - (exes to lovers, slow burn, grief, panic attacks, healing/therapy, sad louis, def read tags, a fav of all time)

The one where Harry is oblivious, Louis is broken, Zayn and Liam are in love, Gemma and Lottie are lovely, and Niall is just waiting for everyone to get their shit together.

Oh, and it's all Malcolm's fault.

💔 Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere​ | E | 125k | abo | b!L - (touch depri, businessman louis, hurt/comfort, a fav)

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

💔 The Dead of July by whimsicule | M | 117k | b!L - (avengers au, captain america harry, louis as bucky, ptsd, so fucking good)

Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

💔 Untangle Me by suicxne | E | 103k | np smut - (canon compliant, friends to lovers, first kiss, cute <3)

The one where Harry and Louis finally get it right.

💔 nothing worsens, nothing grows by @soldouthaz​ | E | 103k | b!L - (roadtrip au, college au, enemies to lovers, friends with benefits, ot5, a fav of all time)

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

💔 Here in the Afterglow by @harrybridgers​ | NR | 89k | b!L - (high school au, historical, 70s au, small town, slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers, soft soft soft)

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

💔 And down the long and silent street by whimsicule | M | 86k | b!L - (historical au, regency au, poverty, wealth difference, hurt/comfort, a masterpiece <3)

Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

💔 Consequences by @allwaswell16​ | E | 79k | b!L - (amnesia au, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, secrets, amazing amazing)

Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

💔 We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) by @harrybridgers​ | NR | 74k | b!L - (enemies to lovers, sort of exes to lovers, demons, demon hunters, INCREDIBLE)

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

💔 Latibule by @quelquesetoiles​ | E | 54k | b!L - (spirited away au - ish, mythology, fantasy, god harry, human louis, sad louis, jealousy, amazing)

A Spirited Away AU of sorts where Louis just wants to heal and be left alone, only for all his plans to be destroyed by the hands of an infuriating British God.

💔 7 Up by @cherrystreet​ | E | 52k | b!L - (friends to lovers, growing up together, will make you cry like a baby, a classic)

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

💔 Strangers in Love by @darlou | E | 42k | b!L - (amnesia au, car accidents, light d/s, growing up together, enemies to lovers, a fav)

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

💔 Ever Fixed by @eeveelou​ | E | 42k | b!L - (strangers to lovers, divorce, depression, child death, the plot twist GOT ME SO GOOD - i read this yesterday with ris and h o l y s h i t)

Three years ago, Harry was happily married, successfully heading the largest technology company in the world, and raising his young daughter. After he loses nearly everything in the aftermath of his daughter’s lost battle with a rare brain tumor, it may take three strange and yet very familiar visitors – and a man from the therapy group Harry keeps refusing to go to – to get him back on track.

💔 before we knew by @falsegoodnight​ | E | 40k | b!L - (soulmate au, lawyer harry, editor louis, stubborn harry, pining louis, literally one of the best fics ever written) 

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

💔 where the lights are beautiful by twoshipsdrifting | M | 31k | abo | b!L - (THE accidental bonding fic, mentions of mpreg, have reread many times and it still hurts so good)

Harry wasn’t wrong about that, not in a general sense. Lots of omegas did seek out rich alphas and betas, hoping or planning to go into heat at the right time. Plenty of omegas saw this as their duty, especially if their families weren’t well off. Worse, Louis couldn’t honestly say he’d never thought about it.

If that had been his life, his goal, Louis would feel pretty good about himself now.

As it is…Louis feels like shit.

💔 autumn leaves by @suspendrs​ | NR | 28k | b!L - (war au, soldier harry, waiter louis, french louis, friends to lovers, so so good)

Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

💔 Cherry by littlebluetui | M | 25k | b!L - (exes to lovers, famous harry, non-famous louis, comfort sex, light d/s, really good & really underrated!)

Harry and Louis were soulmates, no one doubted that.

Sometimes one soulmates leaves the other to go on a world tour though.

Sometimes not having them at all is better than only a little.

💔 like a bastard on the burning sea by vashtaneradas | NR | 22k | implied b!L - (cheating/infidelity - i don’t read cheating fics as a principle but this one just... hurts so good, haven’t reread and i don’t think i ever will but i think about it often)

Harry breaks Louis, Louis breaks everything.

💔 all this delusion in our heads by buttfucklarry | E | 15k | b!L - (exes to lovers, sad louis, sad harry, mentions of mpreg, another underrated beaut <3) 

After Harry and Louis break up, they cope with it in very different ways. What will happen when Harry keeps calling his ex over when things go wrong in his life, but Louis just can't take it anymore?

💔 a grocery list pinned in blue by dangerbears | NR | 20k | b!L - (exes to lovers, divorce, a masterpiece truly)

After eight years, Louis finally has everything he's wanted. Except for Harry.

💔 Cupid’s Chokehold by bluelemur | E | 35k | b!L - (soulmate au, cupid louis, human harry, virgin louis, feel good but also a bit angsty) 

Louis is a Cupid who tries to match up Niall and Harry. It doesn't work out as planned.

💔 Love is like this; not a heartbeat, but a moan by @loveletterharry​​ | E | 13k | abo | b!L - (enemies to lovers, ex-childhood best friends, pining harry, beach house, lovely)

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

Remember again to leave kudos and comment on all these lovely masterpieces! And feel free to let me know if I made any errors!

Request another category here. 

[sunsetcarnation264]

So, uh, that DT17 finale huh?

I would've made this right after I watched the finale, but I wanted to give it a bit of time to sink in fully and made sure I thought everything through before giving my thoughts on it. Not the worst finale there is, but it definitely could've been way better in my opinion. I've heard about the finale from my friends who've seen it, which from the sounds of it I already wasn't liking it, but since I've seen the finale now, how I feel about it is now concrete and set in stone and I feel the same as before. Maybe how I feel about it is in the minority side, or maybe a majority side, I dunno but I don't care. It's not the best it could've been and I'll explain why below. If you like it, good for you I guess because everyone's tastes are different, but I personally don't and I feel like the show deserves a much better finale than this. HEAVY DUTY DISCLAIMER: Just because I'm criticizing the finale doesn't mean I don't love the series, in fact it's because I love the show that I'm giving criticism and give what I would’ve done instead, and if you're anything like me and you're hella late to the party then there'll be spoilers for the finale. If you haven't caught up on the last episode, then you're not missing much honestly, but if you don't like spoilers regardless then watch that first then come back

The first part of the finale starts off like any other DuckTales 2017 episode. It's Webby's birthday, everyone's keeping their eyes out for F.O.W.L. shit, and Webby's enjoying herself. After a bit everyone goes below Funso's and they end up in F.O.W.L.'s territory. F.O.W.L. sets everything up to be on self-destruct, so they gotta find them and stop the self-destruction. They did happen to do the latter, but the F.O.W.L. members already escaped with almost everything. Just almost. The gang end up finding May and June, who're clones and they presume they're clones of Webby. Now this is where I'm starting to not like the finale. Yeah, you can do clones as like a plot twist, but at the same time it feels a bit outta nowhere. Had they foreshadowed it in another episode or have it lead up to the whole "oh shit there's clones of a character we know and love" thing then I wouldn't have a problem, but this came outta nowhere and I kept an eye on possible foreshadowing during season 3 and the rest of season 2 post The Duck Knight Returns too so I would've picked something up. The only thing that could count as foreshadowing was when Beakley promised Webby that she won't keep anymore secrets from her and the harp was saying "fibbing fibbing fibbing", but that's just it. Part two of the finale, Gyro does tests on them to see who they might've been clones of. He tries to tell everyone what the results are but when Scrooge asks him, he said it didn't come up with anything for him to answer the question. Beakley thinks they're both dangerous and locks them up in a closet. Webby, being a naive little girl, wants to talk to them because they're essentially her 'sisters' and she wants to know them more even though Beakley straight up tells her not to interact with them. Webby disregards what Beakley says anyways and she frees them, talks to them, and tries to show them her family tree so they can figure out where May and June came from. May and June are basically like "ehhhh this is your family tree? Who tf are you related to besides Beakley?" yeah, as if extended family or found family still ain't family you jerks. In the meantime, Louie just wants to watch his Ottoman Empire finale which ends up being shitty foreshadowing for the last part of this finale. You'll see why I mentioned this later. They even see Lena and Violet on there and are like "okay but who're those" which Webby responds with how they're her best friends and guess what one of the two clones goes to do? One of them grabs scissors and tries to cut it. When she does cut it, Lena's like "aw hell no bitch" and uses magic on her. Webby being Webby, is completely upset about this because "that was my sister how could you do that" and runs off like how one of the clones ran off. Bitch you only knew her for like five seconds, just because y'all be related don't mean you automatically THIS close to each other like how you are with Lena, Violet, Huey, Dewey, Louie, and anybody else in the McDuck family. I personally believe that love, trust, and respect is what makes people family, not blood/DNA, adoption, or they were married into the family or a step sib/kid/etc. If they're a harmful dick (i.e. a bigot who's queerphobic and/or racist or if they're an abuser, murderer, etc.) then you don't gotta treat them like family or say that they're your family. But anyways we're probs getting off topic, point is that she should trust those who she's known forever instead of clones she knew for a few minutes. Everybody tries to find Webby and one of the clones that ran off. Webby bumped into Beakley as she was tryna find May or June (I think May tho, don't recall) and she tries to lie her way outta it but Beakley knows what's up lol. She says that Webby wants to see the clones, Webby goes with it, and the younger duck wants to know who her parents were. Beakley tells her who her parents were (which might've either been a lie or she was describing herself and a late significant other that we've seen in Webby's picture of her parents) and Webby accepts it. Cut to later when she catches May and June trying to steal the ancient artifacts that Scrooge and co. retrieved during the entirety of season 3. She's shocked that they're even doing this, they all fight each other, and May escaped while June got knocked out. Webby disguises herself as June while she takes her outside where F.O.W.L. awaited them with an aircraft, most importantly Bradford. We only find out Webby was disguising herself as June when everyone got on. Huey notices what's going on and he goes after them, somewhat hiding in the aircraft before everyone leaves for the F.O.W.L. hideout. Not gonna lie, that was a pretty smart plan by Webby. Considering they all look identical and Webby's good at imitation, she can actually get away with this pretty well. This I actually really like and I wouldn't change too much about this. When Huey reveals himself to the three, Webby reveals herself to him but tells him to play along so they ain't fucked over. Somewhat worked. Webby keeps making little slips here and there which makes May hella suspicious of her. They land at the hideout, Webby tries to get what info she can while Huey's taken away. Thanks to the help of Pepper (who I love btw and I think deserves the best ;____;), Webby ends up finding the document room where there's documents on May, June, and a third person with the codename of April. She watches it and oh, shit, it turns out Bentina Beakley actually snatched her ass from F.O.W.L. when she was a baby! What a shocker! She couldn't believe what she was seeing! This is actually fine to me, her possibly being a clone actually makes sense because she could've been a clone of Beakley. Plus it's also a huge reference to how Webby was created to be a combination of Daisy's nieces April, May, and June back in the original series, though I dunno how many people would catch that, especially younger fans who might not have done the research to getting all of the references and easter eggs here. When Beakley was brought in (essentially she knocked Scrooge out without hurting him, went to here alone to take care of F.O.W.L. once and for all just for Webby, but got defeated along with some of the McDucks), everyone leaves Beakley, Webby, and the Harp alone and Webby somewhat confronts Beakley about her past. Needless to say, Webby ain't excited about this and she gets captured and tied up. She's actually pretty depressed, which I mean in a way I don't blame her since she wanted to know if that shit was real or if F.O.W.L. was fabricating it. Cut to Huey being brought to Bradford. Apparently he was a fellow Woodchuck too, though he wasn't the best despite being the very first Woodchuck by his grandmother Isabella Finch, in fact he was the worst which hahaha yeah I can actually believe that. It does explain why he hates adventures and all of that shit, one of the only things I'm willing to accept from the finale. He talks about how he wants to complete the collection "for the better" because Scrooge and everyone else in the family were the only ones to have Isabella's lost journal. Huey believes this at first. He stops believing it once he ends up finding Gyro and everyone else who're locked up. In the meantime, Bradford drags Webby out to a sort of box along with May and June. She doesn't know why she's brought up here. When she gets close to the box, the papyrus appears because... She's the descendant of... Of Scrooge McDuck. Okay no, JUST NAH MAN. This is where my biggest issue in the finale lies, the fact that she's a clone/made from Scrooge's DNA and is technically his "daughter". Not everybody has to be related to Scrooge McDuck to be great, in fact doing this to her actually ruins Webby's character. Her trope is "found family," not "I'm secretly part of the family this whole time and not even I knew it" and this fucks with it so badly. This show is about family, and all different kinds of it. Being taken care of by your uncles/aunts instead of your parents but still having a good relationship, some kids don't have parents and they're gone for whatever reason, being loved and accepted by other family members, some families are awful and abusive, hell some families have two same sex/gendered parents with a kid who's def adopted and one might've been adopted or been from a previous relationship, and it's also how sometimes we find people to call family because we found them and they found us. Webby was the one to fill in the finding those to find family alongside her grandma, but I feel like they're disregarding that just to have a huge plot twist. Again aside from Beakley keeping secrets from Webby, there was no foreshadowing and it makes a previous episode from season two (Nightmare on Killmotor Hill) seem kinda creepy in hindsight since she's over here wanting to be Scrooge himself, and creepy overall due to how obsessive she was over the whole McDuck family in general. You could say it's foreshadowing this whole time, since some people might actually be like this before realizing that "oh hey I'm actually related to this person" due to someone being adopted, given to someone else to take care of, divorce and each parent keeps one of the kids and they don't meet again until way later in life, which in a way is a fair point but at the same time not everyone's gonna notice this even when they look back at the previous episodes. If you're gonna do foreshadowing and a plot twist, you have to do it where looking back everyone can notice little details, not just a certain group of people, and you gotta make sure it's good. Every plot twist has it's foreshadowings, and every good one has a good amount for people to take a guess. Every bad plot twist, however, is either forced in just to shock the viewers or has shitty foreshadowing that's either extremely little or none. I will make a comparison between this and Steven Universe (which if you're still watching or haven't touched yet but haven't gotten up to season five, please skip this part to avoid spoilers for the show) because in Steven Universe, there were PLENTY of hints and foreshadowing that Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond and it was even a theory too that Rose was actually Pink, alongside a theory that Pearl was actually the one to shatter Pink Diamond and not Rose which ended up being true in a way that both fits. This was a good plot twist that everyone can watch the show from start to end once again and notice every little bits of details that led up to that plot twist reveal. (End of SU spoilers) This, however, isn't a good plot twist. It's a terrible one and, again, forced in, messy, and there's not enough foreshadowing that can be used to be like "oh I kinda saw that coming" or "oh shit!" and think it's a genuinely good twist. Also the fact that Webby called Scrooge "Dad" T W I C E in the finale, it doesn't sound right, I even voiced out loud that OH EW THAT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM DAD THIS IS GROSS STOP IT LIKE JUST CALL HIM UNCLE SCROOGE LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE- Oh and this is meant to be a throwback to that Ottoman Empire finale foreshadowing thing from earlier btw lol The last few things I can note about this is the fight between Scrooge and Bradford, where the latter reveals that he was the one to tell Della about the Spear of Selene (which pisses Scrooge off so damn BADLY and it's the other thing I can accept from the finale, it seems like Bradford to do that shit), and the fact that Donald almost died for fucking good due to Bradford pushing his ass into a machine that can erase anything and everything from existence when put in there. He did so with his minions, so he has no qualms about doing so to Scrooge's family unless he signed the papyrus as a contract. Not that it worked anyways, since "family is the greatest adventure of all" which Bradford didn't understand one bit lol But the finale? Not good, the show deserved so much better and Huey deserved way better because this was his season. What I would've done differently is mainly how Webby is a "clone" or whatever you want to call her. It makes no sense for all of her DNA to be from Scrooge McDuck, which raises way too many questions. Why not Beakley? Why not a warrior from F.O.W.L. with a mix of McDuck DNA? Why is Webby a girl while Scrooge isn't? You could argue that oh he might be a trans guy, which while I absolutely LOVE trans and nonbinary headcanons (due to the fact I'm a nonbinary woman myself), it just feels like a cheap escape goat of an excuse to explain that and Scrooge being trans because of that? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh it doesn't feel right to me. If it was a combination of him and Beakley, then okay I'd get why she's like that, but it still has the problem of her being related to the family DNA-wise. Same with the clones honestly. Now what I would do differently is make it where she's a clone of someone (def not Scrooge) and make it where she has an identity-existential crisis. Who is she really? Is she this "April" character, or if she Webby like she's always known herself as her whole life? In the end, she accepts that she's herself, Webby Vanderquack, granddaughter of Bentina Beakley and an ally of Scrooge McDuck. May and June, on the other hand, are possibly failed attempts to recreate Webby, the perfect clone, in order to get the papyrus to appear which in of itself never stated it had to be a DIRECT heir to Scrooge McDuck (it just states that it requires an heir of Scrooge McDuck) like a daughter/son or whatever. You can go back to the episode "The First Adventure" to look at the papyrus if you want, but he wrote that it was to an HEIR not a descendant. It heavily supports how they changed a shit ton of things before the last season being this year instead of idk, try to make it better because they finished voicing the lines in January this year when they started doing season three around the time we got season two. Bradford gets frustrated, wondering how it couldn't have worked because HE HAS WEBBY RIGHT HERE. What he didn't realize was that it could've been someone within the family itself, one who's considered the smart one out of the bunch that wasn't Scrooge McDuck himself, someone who's also a fellow Junior Woodchuck. And that would be Hubert Duck, in which season three is meant to be his season. When he gets close, the papyrus appears but Bradford snatches it and runs off with it so he can finish up that contract he's spent FOREVER to make and force Scrooge to write his name there. As with May and June, I dunno what I would do with them, but if I rewrite the finale at some point (which I would be doing now with my mom, who watched the finale with me because we tend to watch stuff a lot, but I can't at the moment because I have a list of stuff to make and I can't afford to make it longer than it already is along with my WIP list) I'll figure out what to do with them. Overall, the finale is a 4 out of 10 for me. Not horrible enough for it to be the worst finale ever in the history of shows/series, but it's definitely got a lot of things that bothered me too much to genuinely enjoy it without getting stuck on something for too long. Again if you like it, good for you, but personally? It should've been much better and the series deserves a proper finale. If there's no surprise movie to make it better, then I'ma just pretend this finale doesn't exist like nah bye bitch dunno you lmao Besides with how messy this finale is, I hope you guys enjoyed reading my thoughts on it and I hope you guys have a great day

[shhhlikeme]

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #12:

———————————

A/N: I miss you guys so much! Thank you for over 150 notes on my last outtake 🤯! If you haven’t read my life update already, please do and know that it’s hard for me to prioritize school and work before this blog. This outtake collection was originally supposed to be a multiple posting like the previous ones, but I reckon I was taking too long and thought to just post at least the part that was complete. Love y’all

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Songs for this outtake:

———————————

8 Days After The Breakup ⛓🥀

💤 😴 💤

“Leave her be. She’s having fun.”

Aone watched as the class-snitch Tsume Lian handed in his paper and hurriedly left the classroom.

I didn’t mean to scare him, thought Mountain Man. He shrugged it off, looking down to concentrate on his own assignment, going through the questions easily. I only have 3 left now, and the answers are fairly simple because-

“Hi! Thanks so much for defending me a little while ago!”

An angelic voice startled Aone out of his academic train of thought. As soon as the sound vibrations reached his ear drums all the nerves in Aone’s body stood at attention.

Is that......?! he questioned, but received his answer when he felt the magnetic pull to the voice as he always did—his eyes having a mind of their own and following the sound. Aone felt his heart halt when he lifted his head from his paper to be graced with something much, much, more beautiful. His crush, you, were standing next to him. Aone’s entire body and brain went out of commission when he looked up to see you, standing so close he could feel your body heat, your beautiful manicured hands pressed on his desk. Your grateful eyes were staring into his for quite possibly the first time in his entire life.

The eyes he dreams about.

Your Apple scent invaded his nostrils and Aone breathed in as deeply as he could subconsciously. He never wanted to smell anything else.

The scent that he dreams about.

You reached over to touch Aone’s arm in his uniform, shooting him an endearing smile. Aone’s eyes widened. Y/N IS TOUCHING ME, he thought. His heart tightened and he really thought he was at risk for a heart attack. The only thing that kept him from having that heart attack, in fact, was seeing you smile a second later. He wouldn’t be graced with that smile if he fainted now🥵. To Aone, when you smiled, oh god, when you smiled—You weren’t just beautiful like he always found you: you were unreal. It was your smile on top of the cheerleading pyramid that made him initially lock onto you, and it was your smile with your friends at school that made Mountain Man stop in his tracks every time just to take it in. It is captivating.

Aone couldn’t help but stare at your lips when the vibrations of your melodic cheerful voice reached his ears again.

“I’m Y/N! It’s nice to meet you!”

Nice to.....? What? Losty Aone connected the dots a bit, realizing that you were introducing yourself to him. He wanted to laugh. It is almost a comical quiet-boy-meets-his-crush scene, right? The fact that the female he spends most of his day thinking about, the female outside of the Takanobu’s that he probably knows most about, the female that he has spent the better part of the last two years pining after, was introducing herself—that she deemed it necessary to make him aware of who she is—is comical.

Dark Comedy.

Honestly, Aone couldn’t even stop for too long to feel bad for how pathetic this seemed for him: as he was too busy basking in your light. Whether you were introducing yourself or reciting the Arabic alphabet to him— he’d want to hear you over and over, no matter what, unable to think of anything else he’d want more.

Aone wanted to say something back to you, he obviously did. But he was just too in shock that the girl he wishes he could marry, the girl that is so completely out of his league that she doesn’t even notice his existence, is speaking him unexpectedly. It was like a dream. Aone’s throat was drier than the Sahara desert.

It was TOO MUCH. Your simple greeting made him TOO HAPPY—he was unable to respond.

Aone felt severe loss of sweet tingling skin nerves when you removed your hand from his burning arm. If he was thinking clearly he might have pouted. He mentally kicked himself for being too star-struck by you to dedicate one part of his mind to memorize what it felt like to have you touch him.

“Sorry.”

You said shyly, gifting Aone’s eardrums again. You looked down sheepishly, then met his serious expression again, appearing God-sent with the thankful expression you gave him. If Aone could speak, he would bloody PROPOSE.

“Um....”

Still frozen, Aone couldn’t tear his eyes away from you as you spoke.

“You probably don’t know this but you getting that pervert to leave me alone is quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has done for me. And you did it for a stranger, no less. And ummm.........”

You tucked your hair cutely behind your ear, obviously wanting to say something else. Aone was eager to hear it. He loved hearing your voice! After all, witnessing your usually bubbly cheerleader-self so demure and cute-looking made his heart skip a beat. Or dozens of beats. All he could think of when he watched you was:

She’s Unreal.

She’s Perfect.

She’s a Dream.

Long shot, but she’s my desired Future wife.

He wanted to beg you to keep speaking. Your voice was his favourite sound... it has been ever since he first heard it.

“Ummmm........ also I wanted to say.....”

Aone put an effort to mentally block out all the white noise of the chatty classroom so that he could hear your beautiful voice more clearly. He wanted to remember this. He wanted to memorize every second of this, since you approaching his desk has unpredictably turned today in to one of the best days of his life. Please keep talking to me Y/N. Please.

Aone’s heart tightened again as your expressive eyes pierced into his serious ones. You took a deep breath before saying what you wanted to say next.

......Yes? Aone wish he could say. You can tell me anything, Y/N.

“....and.....”

you pushed on, leaning in closer so that Aone had an even clearer close up of your gorgeous face and your scent was even stronger. Yep, absolutely the best day of my life.

And......? Aone wanted to hurry you, but then he saw you opening your mouth:

“And do you mind not doing that again? It’s obvious you have a really intense crush on me obviously—but I don’t feel the same way. I don’t even know who you are. It’ll never work out in the long run because I’m in this league and you’re...in that one.”

Aone hearing what you said was like a knife—no, A SWORD stabbing through his heart. He literally felt wounded. He looked at his beautiful crush—still putting you first even in a state of pain like this— feeling terrible for making you uncomfortable due to his romantic hopes.

“I’m s-sorry, Y/N...” Aone was about to stutter out,

💤😴💤

But his eyes opened before then, kicking him out of his dream.

Takanobu’s heart ached as he stared up at his bedroom ceiling in the dark. Aone checked with his hand to make sure that he really hadn’t been stabbed through the chest, because that’s what he felt right now. Breathing heavily through his nose when he felt his actual hard chest there like normal, he wondered how the pain there could be so insufferable then?

Takanobu hasn’t been able to avoid these terrible dreams since several nights ago, when you had broken up with him on the Ferris wheel. He knows you are not as cruel as you are in his dreams but his depressive state of mind obviously only knows how to make him feel worse about everything. He doesn’t really remember much after you had called him your friend in the Ferris Wheel lot; shattering what was left of his heart by that word combined with walking away. Though, he does remember hearing his mom at dinner 2 nights ago talking to him about how it was Futakuchi who had to come get him, but he wasn’t sure.

To be honest, ever since the night on the Ferris Wheel, Aone has become a shell of a man that lost a lot of care for things he used to care about.

He can’t recall what his mom said at dinner or what Kenji said in the car or what really happened the days after you decided to leave him: The only feeling he could register is the overbearing heavy feeling in his heart. The only thing that captured his attention is the aching in his chest. The sound of his heart’s continuous shattering whenever he thought of you was louder than any words he heard and the all encompassing gnawing of heartache, was more tangible than anything else he could possibly feel.

If Aone had to describe in words how he has felt since that moment 🎡 (but he wouldn’t because he has subconsciously retreated back to his mute lifestyle), he would say his heart feels like it is encompassed by the heaviest chains known to man with an anchor on the end, hanging low and weighing down his whole heart.

If that wasn’t bad enough, whenever you crossed his mind, the chains would tighten and squeeze his heart. Therefore, since you basically never left his mind, that means his heart is continuously being squeezed by hefty anchorage. It is an awful feeling to say the least.

Sitting up on the side of his bed, Aone checked his phone for the time and date.

8 days since the anniversary...? He stated to himself.

Had I attended school in between? He doesn’t even remember.

All that was clearly registered is the feeling of loss.

Aone sighed. Must have, because knowing Futakuchi, he likely wouldn’t let him skip. Aone can now recall going to school and not seeing you there....no wonder it’s deemed insignificant in his brain.

When Mountain Man had gotten too worried about your absence on the second day and was about to check on you, his friends had asked your friends, discovering that you were currently sick and on bed rest.

Mountain Man felt terrible. You probably got ill from walking in the snow after the Ferris Wheel ride. If he hadn’t brought you there you wouldn’t be sick. You’d only had on a thin jacket that night...

Should I text Y/N? Ask her if there’s anything I can bring her so she can feel better? What would Futakuchi say?

‘ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.‘ Is what he would say, Aone thought, practically able to hear his friend’s voice.

In bed, Mountain Man sighed. Even if he did text you, you didn’t want to hear from him anymore. That’s the purpose of a breakup, no matter how much it gutted him. You were entitled to your space.

Through impenetrable mental torment, Aone rubbed his eyes and peeped at the time. While Aone would describe himself as a militant person, who always wakes up on time for school, leaves his house on time for everything; practically the most dependable human, and was very orderly his entire life—things have changed drastically as of 8 days ago. Not that he cared since time wasn’t really something he could focus on, but Aone now awoke several times a night, walked in late to class and cancelled his attendance to any and all social events he was going to go to.

He and Futakuchi were supposed to help Karasuno with blocking yesterday, but Aone just went straight home. He hasn’t even seen his friends for quite some time....or maybe he has, but the memory isn’t registering.

Broken-hearted Mountain Man would just avoid everyone in class (staring out of the window, looking incredibly unapproachable), and outside of class: opting to eat lunch alone (and by eating, it means just toying with whatever he was going to eat). Every lunch hour, this depresssed polar bear would find some corner outdoors to sit by himself: Sometimes it was at the bus stop down the street from the school where he’d sit and watch the passerbyers, his gaze staying a bit longer on the couples that passed by, wishing you still wanted that with him. Yesterday, he found a spot under a big tree and counted the grass patches. Even though you weren’t at school, as soon as the Date Teko cheerleaders came outside to practice a bit for the snowboarding team, Aone picked up his stuff and finished his lunch in an empty classroom...

6:38am.

So Aone had over 20 minutes till he needed to get up and get ready for school.

Usually, this white-haired man would use that time to do something productive: either review his homework, try to make breakfast for his mom or dad, read a book to his turtle, research new volleyball drills to help his team.............

But this morning was different. Of course it was. In the extra time he had this morning, all Aone could do in these minutes is sit up, propping his elbows on his knees and cradle his head in his hands, willing his heart to stop hurting so much. He had zero tears to cry, he isn’t a crier but they were probably all out after the first night that he tear stained his pillow...... So instead of crying, now Aone just spent his extra time in this position, thinking about you—the greatest girl he would ever know—and how he failed to make you happy enough that you’d choose to stay with him.

Aone:

He has no idea why he got his hopes up. Why did he think someone like you would want him? Of course you’d come to your senses eventually.

Faded beautiful black and white images of your moments together flashed through his depressed mind like a movie reel: triggering his heart to weigh his body down even more:

He saw you playing with Perdu on the floor of his room, trying to teach the reptile how to fetch.

He saw you cling onto his arm and hide your face in his shoulder when a jump scare hit the screen at the movie theatre.

In slow motion, He saw you waving and smiling at the supporters in the bleachers as you were cheerleading with your teammates, looking breathtaking

He saw you giving his best friends the middle finger and sticking your tongue out at them because they were teasing him

He saw you throw your head back and laugh as you sat next to him at the lunch table, leaning on him for support because you were laughing so hard

He saw you flip your hair back as you actually listening to his tutoring in his room... then he saw your face brighten, clapping when he told you your answer was correct

He saw you—

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

The sound of Aone’s weekday alarm jolted him out of his heart wrenching slideshow... He rubbed his temples for a moment in his dark room before turning the alarm off. He stood up slowly and took a deep breath before forcing himself to go through the motions again— slipping on his house slippers and making his way to his bathroom. He flicked on the bathroom light and Aone dared to look at himself briefly in the mirror: though what greeted his eyes made him instinctively turn the fucking light off.

Pathetic, anguished Mountain thought.

I look even scarier now. He tore his eyes away from the mirror display of his tired eyes and overall broken demeanour.

No wonder Y/N doesn’t want me.

Hearing your name in his mind for the first time since he had promised himself he wouldn’t mention it, sent a wave of immense devastation through this man’s entire body. It was so strong it caused this middle blocker to hang his head and use both strong hands to grip his bathroom counter so he wouldn’t collapse under the metaphorical pain in his chest.

He never knew it was possible to feel such emotional pain so physically.

He deliberated staying home, but that would worry his parents and friends even more, which is the last thing he wanted.

It’s almost the end of the week. Just keep getting ready for school, he told himself. It is only 4 hours until lunch, when you can be alone again.

Aone brushed his teeth while sitting on the edge of his bathtub, finding it easier to avoid his reflection in the mirror this way. He spat and rinsed, then reached for his floss, but realized it was empty.

Sighing, baby boy dragged his feet from his ensuite to one of his house’s main bathrooms where his mom left the extra toiletries.

Aone began flossing in his quiet bathroom. He heard the faint sound of the front door closing and locking since his mother usually left for work at this time. Takanobu finished flossing and washed his hands. He took a few floss containers and exited the main bathroom, shutting off the light and briskly turning the corner—before running right into another man.

“Shit!” The other voice yelled as their body fell backwards from the impact.

Completely startled because he thought he was home alone, Aone’s eyes widened but his fast reflexes caught the man’s arm before he fell to the ground. Aone’s eyes went back to normal realizing who he caught.

“Dude! Are you a fucking ghost?! You make zero sound when you walk around the house! How is that even possible for a man your size!?!”

Takanobu looked down at his best friend dressed in pyjamas like: ⁉️

Not uttering a word, he gave Kenji a monotone look as to say: What are you doing here?

Kenji—understanding his best friend without him needing to use words like he always did, answered him.

“What am I doing here?” Kenji chuckled. “Well, it’s been days and you won’t answer my texts or calls, big guy! I have no idea where you go during lunch, it’s cold as shit outside and we spend the entire time looking for you.... and then you go straight home when the last bell rings! You seem dead at school: like a zombie. So fuck, you forced my lazy ass to get creative. 💥 Boom. Now I’m here. Your mom said I can move in stay for the time being, basically. I’m sleeping in the first guest room and—“

Aone turned on his heels to peek into the first guest room beside the bathroom. Sure enough, he saw one big suitcase Futakuchi had used when he had come on a vacation with his dads side 4 years ago.

Aone turned back to his friend, grunting as if to say: 🤨 this is a lot....

“—No, it is not a lot. I’m worried about my best friend, man. Either way, I’m not asking you permission.” Kenji crosses his arms in response to his friend’s silent communication. “I told you it’s me and you.”

Aone frowned at his friend. He was pretty astonished by everything Kenji just said. First, Kenji is right about his own self analysis: Kenji is lazy. Which made this all the more alarming, because was Aone really that bad that his best friend felt obligated to move in temporarily?! Futakuchi was always welcome here and stayed over often, but nothing this drastic.

Second, Aone knew he was possibly moving around like a shell of a man—that’s why he avoided people unless it was in class regarding group work—but to be described as a zombie by his brutally honest friend? Ouch. What would Y/N think? Aone doubted you would regret dumping a guy like that if you were in good health and saw him at school.

Hearing your name again in his mind; Aone’s heart panged.

Takanobu’s gaze fell and shoulders sunk and Futakuchi noticed the drop. He knew his middle blocker was going through it like crazy.... and it made him sick. Kenji knew right then and there that he was right to come here.

“I know you don’t want to talk about her, Aone-san. We don’t have to until you’re ready. But I’m here, alright? Just two doors down when you want advice or you just want to watch a movie or play some volleyball. Okay?”

Still looking at his turtle slippers, Aone nodded. In his state, he couldn’t help but feel a bit better because his best friend cared so much about him.

Just then, Aone felt a sharp slap on his back that couldn’t have come from Kenji and an excited voice next to his ear.

“MORNING!!!!!! WHERE CAN I FIND THE FLOSS— OH! BOTH OF YOU ARE AWAKE!”

Koganegawa‘s eyes were barely open as he joined the two boys in the hallway, yawning in the midst of his loud greeting.

Startled that Kogane was in his house too, Aone gave him the same alarmed expression he’d initially given Futakuchi.

Kanji looked confused, so he nudged Futakuchi. “I’m not as good as you yet, dad. What does that look on Aone-senpai mean?” He asked, stretching his arms in fatigue.

In response, Kenji reached up to pinch his ear, yanking it down.

“OI! ITAI!” The setter cried.

Kenji spoke calmly.

“Takanobu-san is wondering what you’re doing here. And I’m wondering why you’re so loud in the mornings!!” Futakuchi let go and Kogane rubbed his now red ear, fully awake now. He glared at Kenji for a moment😡before his eyes met the middle blocker’s and softened.

“Hey, Mom. That abusive parent 👈🏻 mentioned something about staying here for a few days or weeks, and I begged him to let me come. I worry about you, too, you’re like a big brother to me, and I’m here for you just as much as he is.” Kanji smiled brightly at his older friend.

For the first time since you’d broken up with him, Aone felt his heart tighten for a different reason other than heartache. For one brief moment, Aone felt a few links in the heavy chain wrapped around his heart fall off. Albeit minimally, his friend’s endearing actions made him feel lighter.

————————————

Outtake #13: CLICK HERE

Sneak Preview of the next dramatic Outtakes:

A pissed off Kenji Futakuchi confronts Y/N upon your return to school 👁👄👁

Aone and Y/N must work together for a school project....... 💔 awkward, or an opportunity? The answer may surprise you.

Taglist: @crushzone @galagcica @chaichai-the-weeb @nairobiisqueen @bisasterrr @juminly @simply-not-the-same

[arshipweek]

AR Ship Week - Fanwork Recs

Banner credit

This is the fourth and last weekly post in the lead up to Alex Rider Ship Week. Only 1 week to go!

This week we’ve got a selection of shippy fanwork recs submitted by members of the AR fandom. Enjoy and hope to see you next week!

**Please note that I haven’t listed all the details for the fics so take care to read the tags on AO3 before diving in!

Yassen/Alex

Our Endless Numbered Days by Galimau Just your run of the mill heartwarming look at the quiet beats of Alex and Yassen's relationship...after the apocalypse.  Soft and sweet this fic focuses on the very still and quiet moments of two men at the end times trying to hold onto the things that bring them joy. It's an intimate view of what Alex and Yassen's life could be like of all their cares were quite literally wiped away - excellent  world building and writing make this a must read.

Yalex art by Ireliss Alex and Yassen in a lake! Everything about this picture is perfect - the light, the colours, the feeling of stillness... Probably the most beautiful picture of Alex and Yassen I've ever seen.

Sun Poisoning by fElBiTeR Angsty, beautiful, slowburn soulmate fic with a twist on the usual tropes and gorgeous imagery

Twisting, Turning, Tumbling by ShiruyTheSecond A glacially slow burn, road trip au, and sick fic all mashed into one fic, in non-chronological order based on 100 themes. I'd say this was one of the gateway fics into Yalex for me; there's nothing like reading a longfic you thought was gen and wishing it were slash, only for the realization to hit you in the face like a brick 50 something chapters later. Alex is on the run for a variety of reasons after a mission for MI6 goes spectacularly wrong, so he surprisingly finds himself leaning on Yassen for help, experincing whumpage along the way. Absolutely delicious.

Specific Performance by BurntWhisper Alex is a good spy, good enough that SCORPIA has tasked Yassen with killing him. Yassen can't do that but he can give Alex a very...enthusiastic going away present even Alex hasn't been a very good boy. It's a fun look at Alex and Yassen's first fling with callbacks to the original gen fic. That hits every perfect note and hits a few other things too.

Interlude by Suzie_Shooter Incredibly soft and fluffly Yalex that ends with an unexpected top!Alex and bath sex. Will absolutely warm your heart the way it does mine every time I read this fic.

Medicine by Suzie_Shooter The other fic in response to the prompt of "Alex is given a serum that makes him feel good when he tells the truth" except this one is praise kink while the other is humiliation kink! Specifically focused on a smoking hot blowjob and Alex's reluctance turned enthusiam, plus, there's a second chapter, just in case one dose of the antidote isn't enough.

One Year by BurntWhisper The slowest of slow burns featuring Alex and Yassen on the run from MI6, SCORPIA and their own feelings. Covering 3 months of their life on the run this fic features action as well as the slow, quiet moments where the budding relationship can truly shine through and behind it all the intelligence world continues to grind on threatening to take their happiness with it. It's a beautiful fic with strong, detailed writing and the emotional weight that it deserves.

Midnight Smoke by Hijja If you're in the mood for darker fics with plenty of Yassen hurting Alex complete with violence and heavy dubcon, Hijja has you covered. This particular fic features a mission-type premise with Alex being sent to investigate a spate of teen abductions only to be captured. Yassen is there, and he has his own goals...

Hello Alex by anonymous Fanart: a reunion hug between Yassen and Alex.

Face The Truth by capeofstorm Alex is given a serum that makes him feel good when he tells the truth. Yassen is absolutely a man to take advantage. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Lights Out by Suzie_Shooter Yassen and Alex left tradecraft behind for a new life in the Greek islands. Ten years on, their relationship is still going strong and they've become island locals, the proprietors of a sailing club and a windsurfing business. Their idyllic life is disrupted by a new threat that wants them dead. I just love the premise of Yalex riding off into the sunset and not looking back. This fic not only has suspense, action, hot sex, and the intimacy borne of ten years...but once you're done, there are two excellent sequels and a prequel to lap up!

Villa in the Sun by BoldAsBrass A multi-chapter story within a story as Yassen and Alex keep in touch over the phone through a tale of a Russian bodyguard's encounters with a young English man. This is so cleverly done and beautifully written; I could re-read it and re-read it (in fact, that's exactly what I've done).

Sting in the Tail by Suzie_Shooter With the world hanging in the balance, MI6 presses an imprisoned Yassen into service. They use Alex to convince him, but also a nasty "sting in the tail" incentive to guarantee results. A thrilling Yalex mission!fic where Yassen and Alex forge their trust in each other by facing mortal danger and saving the world together. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, eating up the slow burn and wondering how on earth they were going to succeed with all the obstacles Scorpia and MI6 threw in their way.

Rarely Pure And Never Simple by fElBiTeR Non-con > dub-con > fuck-yes-con speedrun. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Just Say I Do by Nanimok I'm possibly biased because this was written for me, but 'woke up married' is a great trope and this is both snarky and adorable. Recced by Suzie_Shooter

Open Invitation by Suzie_Shooter After Ian's death in TV 'verse, fifteen-year-old Alex is living alone in a depressive, self-destructive spiral. He realizes someone is watching him at home...and decides to give them something more compelling to watch. I am squicked out by creepers, but the characterizations tackle the thorny elements head-on: Yassen's mixed feelings and understated pursuit tactics are 100% believable, as is Alex's volatility; he's alternately confused, provocative, and defiant. Exhibit A:“Does that make you a victim, or a slut?” The question came casually, but it had the unexpected sting of a slap. Alex blinked. “What, I can’t be both?” he countered after a second. Plot ensues, because how can a relationship possibly form from such a premise? Mind the tags (you might trip into your next kink because the sex is mind-blowingly hot).

Flirting with Danger by BoldAsBrass Basically THE gateway fic into Yalex for me - short and sweet, snappy narration and dialogue, a sleekly dangerous Yassen and Alex who might be a skilled, pragmatic adult but quickly realises he's in over his head. Sprinkle in a bit of dubcon and scorching hot writing and you get this perfect fic.

Burning a Dead Man's Fingertips by GreenQueenofClubs Multichapter slow burn, MI6!Yassen AU - an excellent premise done extremely well and feels fresh and new, balancing mission-style fic with character development! The dynamic between Yassen and Alex is somewhat different here compared to most Yalex fics as they don't meet until Alex is an adult; a really intriguing glimpse into what could have been...

A Little Pat Down by Nanimok Airport security can be frustrating at the best of times but couple it with being edged like none other by an assassin turned security guard and it can really be a pain in the ass. A filthy but extremely well written premise. Crack taken seriously is this author's strong suit so not a single one of their works will steer you wrong.

Yalex Ballet AU by anonymous Yalex ballet AU with absolutely gorgeous imagery and slow burn. Fluid prose and in the background, the shadows of past histories and things unsaid.

Gentleman's Agreement by Valaks Yassen and Alex have a "gentleman's agreement" for handling their business in the field. No one ever said anything about parent-teacher conferences. Claims to be gen, but deserves a place on this list for subtle genius alone, because with lines like "Like a fine wine, Alex Rider was improving with age" and "How interesting that Alex Rider would be that interested in his hands", what are we supposed to think....? UST in all caps is the best description.

Salty the Sweat on my Fingertips by Galimau A fun little romp of Alex visiting Tom and having to call his overly protective boyfriend? because he's pregnant and everything hurts. Beautifully written, this fic explores the ending of Oceanbreeze7's Moonfish and follows the extremely creative monster biology to its logical conclusion of Alex getting knocked up.

Slipping Through My Fingers by Nanimok This kink meme fill hits in all the right places as we watch through the eyes of a very jealous Julius as Yassen gives Alex all the attention he needs. The writing is, as always, on point and the characterization of Julius gets absolutely nailed (almost as much as Alex). Julius/Alex, Yassen/Alex

Other

Miss Julia by DantesThird Very creepy and traumatic noncon but really believable with Julia Rothman's obsession with John Rider. Alex/Julia Rothman

gone loose inside the shell by cyanides Fantastic messed-up fic where Julius keeps fantasising about killing Alex, but then the fantasies take a different turn. The possessive 'If I can't have you no-one can' dynamic really encapsulates the ship for me, and the fic stuck in my mind afterwards. Alex/Julius

smoke haze by Ireliss Dubcon, gun kink. A really intriguing and quite dark exploration of a young Yassen's situation with Scorpia and his very complex relationship with Hunter. John/Yassen

Our Settling Bones by Galimau A multi-chapter slow burn focused on a former assassin who has lost everything...and Yassen Gregorovich. The tension is off the charts and the characerization is on point. Everything you could want from the rarest of pairs. John Wick/Yassen

Lemniscate by Ireliss A look at what awaits Yassen when he arrives back at Scorpia after killing Vladimir Sharkovsky. This is deliciously dark as well as being entirely plausible. The sensory descriptions are fantastic. Yassen/Julia Rothman

[shesclearlya3]

(Dandy anon here!)Ok switching it up now! A tristan x reader where basically the reader is a vampire turned by the countess (when the reader tried commit suicide in the cortez in the 1950s after the death of their husband who was drowned 😉) and the countess see's a little bit of herself in the reader and tries to cheer them up by introducing them to Tristan ~also I really apericate you answering my asks! Its great!❤~

warnings: mentions of death, suicide, and depression

word count: 1,851

"y/n?"

You paused in front of your door, Room 237 when you heard the sound of your 'mothers' voice. It was very late, just past three in the morning when you decided to wander back home. 

When you didn't respond, she continued on, "I never see you around. You hide from me." You felt a hand on your shoulder, turning you around to face the woman you had despised for years. Elizabeth looked stunning, even her face free of makeup, and dressed for comfort rather than vanity. Her eyes observed you quietly, seeing that you looked well-fed, and you weren't missing any limbs. 

"It's that time again. You know how it is," you respond, brushing her hand from your shoulder. Elizabeth nodded, her eyes casting downward as you refused her attempt to be a mother figure towards you, again. 

"I know. I worry about you, y/n. You think I don't, but I do." Elizabeth said, watching as you fiddled with the handle to your room. "Which is why I want you to meet someone tomorrow evening."

"Elizabeth, I'm not interested in a relationship, you know that-."

"Just come," Elizabeth nodded, gripping your free hand tightly in hers. You allowed it, finally meeting her eyes as she smiled at you, leaning in. As much as you hated to admit it, you almost liked it. You hadn't known the comforting touch of another for years.

"I think it would be good for you," Elizabeth said. "He is a bit troubled, a little lost, like you. Trust me." 

So you agreed. As you watched the clock tick by slowly, you wondered who it could possibly be that she wanted you to meet. You stayed in your room as the morning and afternoon hours ticked by, catching up on some reading and browsing through social media. Elizabeth swung by and told you to be in the lobby by eight. 

When the time came, you changed into better clothes before heading downstairs. You dodged Sally as she stumbled down the hall, laughing and yelling in gibberish at nothing. You could hear her voice ricocheting off the walls as you sat at the bottom of the staircase, seeing an empty lobby, like always. Not even Liz was around. 

You had waited on the stairs for a little while until you heard the sound of heavy boots coming down the stairs behind you. They paused, and you could feel a presence behind you, causing you to look. 

For a moment, you thought that Elizabeth was playing a cruel joke on you. You didn't believe your eyes as you looked at this man, his cerulean eyes observing you as if he also thought Elizabeth was fucking with him. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, glaring at you as you gaped at him. 

"I... I... I, uh..." you stuttered out, fumbling over your words like nobody's business. 

He raised an eyebrow at you, before he smirked, coming down the rest of the way. You stood up, seeing as he towered over you by a few inches. "Are you y/n? If you are, I gotta say, you're better looking than I thought you would be."

"You look like someone," you said calmly, finding yourself taking a few steps back from him. "What's your name?" 

"Tristan. Tristan Duffy." he said gruffly, "So... you are y/n, then?"

You nodded, "That's me."

Tristan kind of laughed, "You don't say much."

"I'm sorry, I just..." you decided to shut up, knowing that you'd only be spending one night with this man. He didn't need to know the details of your life, he was just going to be gone tomorrow, anyway. 

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink," Tristan said, gesturing for you to follow him. You did, wondering what Elizabeth's deal was, asking you to meet this guy that looked identical to your dead husband. 

You had sat at the bar with Tristan for a few hours. He seemed pleased that you finally seemed to open up after a bit. Despite his gruff appearance, he was rather endearing and had a great sense of humor. You found yourself laughing at his jokes, and before you knew it, you had moved to one of the couches in the lounge, sitting side by side as you talked.

"Who do I look like that, you know?" Tristan asked, "It's weird, Elizabeth said the same thing to me when we first met." 

You picked at a piece of string on one of the pillows sitting in your lap. You realized that you were starting to like Tristan. After all the time you had spent at the Hotel Cortez, it took you years to tell anyone. And why you have moved to California all the way from Southern Florida. 

"You look like my husband," you said quietly.

Tristan sat up straight, giving you a confused look, he almost seemed disappointed, "You're married?"

"No! No! Not anymore, at least," you said, watching as his posture relaxed. "He died. A long time ago."

Tristan quirked an eyebrow at you, "Are you..."

"Yes."

Tristan nodded, "Me too."

You sighed, "Elizabeth?"

"Who else?" Tristan laughed. 

You smiled, "I've been this young since 1954."

"You're really old," Tristan said, eyeing you up and down. "You're still banging, though."

You threw the pillow at him, smacking him directly in the face. He laughed before tossing it back. "Seriously, though. What's your story?"

"I'm afraid to tell you," you said honestly.

"Why?" Tristan frowned, his arm draping over the back of the couch. His hand itched to touch your shoulder, but he refrained. "I'm good at keeping secrets, sometimes." he joked.

"Everyone I have ever cared about, or loved, has left me," you whispered. Tristan watched you silently, and you continued on. 

"I was born in Florida in 1930. I was born to a wealthy family, and we lived next to the same family ever since I was born. They had a son who was just a few months older than me, his name was..." you swallowed, you haven't talked about him in so long. "His name was Dandy."

Tristan snickered, and you found your lips twitching at the sound. However, he quickly masked it, giving you a solemn look. "I'm sorry, please continue," Tristan said.

"Anyway, we went to school together, some fancy private institution that started allowing girls a few years before we enrolled. We spent a lot of time together, he didn't have many friends, except for another girl and me. When we were in high school, things between us changed. I had a boyfriend at the time. We dated for two months before he went missing." you swallowed.

Tristan perked up, "He went missing?" 

"Yes. They never found him, I don't think." you sighed. "But after that, many months later, we started dating. We dated nearly five years before we finally got married. His mother liked me, but when we announced her engagement, she tried to break us up. We both came from wealthy families, but she was afraid I was going to take their money." you rolled your eyes. "It was all a big mess for a while. When we got married, it was only the two of us."

"What about your parents?" Tristan asked.

"They died not long after graduation. They were driving home from a party when a storm came through, it looked like they lost control of the car and drove off a hill." you frowned, "Ironically, I was supposed to go with them that night, but... Dandy begged me not to go, I ended up pretending to be sick last minute, I watched them drive away from my window, and I never saw them again."

Tristan didn't say anything, but you felt his hand finally press against your shoulder. Much like the night before, you enjoyed the contact from another person. 

"We got married in October of 1951. We were married only a few months before he was taken from me." you sighed. "Dandy never wanted kids growing up, but after we got married, he talked about them. It was actually the last thing we talked about before he died."

"How did he?-"

"He drowned." you said flatly, "I came home one day and found him, someone had moved his body after he passed."

"y/n, I'm so sorry," Tristan whispered.

"You look just like him," you continued, "I still have all of our photo albums. The few photos I had of us in color disappeared," you frowned. "I look at them all of the time, but everything else about him exists only in my memory. Tomorrow is the anniversary of his death, he's been gone almost seventy years."

"How did Elizabeth find you?"

You smiled weakly, "After he died, I inherited his money. I still had the large fortune left to me by my parents, including the money I received selling my parents' house. I lived in Florida for a few more months. I went into a deep depression, I hardly left my room, I lost so much weight that I ended up being hospitalized. Until finally, I just packed some things and left."

Tristan was still interested, and you continued telling him your story. You went to Los Angeles after traveling the world. Dandy had always talked about going to LA or moving there eventually. You came for him, but Elizabeth found you one night, sleeping in Dandy's car. 

"She could practically smell the tragedy wafting off me," you said. "She offered me a room here, said that I could stay as long as I wanted as long as I wasn't living in my car. I lived here for a few weeks, but staying in one place, especially the same city Dandy had always spoken about visiting, caused my depression to get worse." 

"On his second anniversary, I tried to kill myself," you laughed dryly. "I tried to drown myself in the bathtub, but it was hard. It made me think of what he went through in his final moments. So I took a bunch of pills, not wanting to wake up the next day."

Tristan winced, his hand still lingering on your shoulder.

"But I did. I woke up in Elizabeth's room, standing over me. She was crying, asking what happened to me that made me want to die. I was very angry, I stormed off, and I stayed away for a few days. Until I couldn't take the hunger anymore, and I came back, asking what she did to me."

"Do you still hate her?" Tristan asked.

You looked at him, seeing how intensely he was watching you. 

"I did." you answered honestly, "I hated her for a long time. I felt like she took away my one chance to be with him again, to finally stop all of the suffering I was going through. She told me about all the loss she suffered, but I always said she never understood how I felt." you frowned. "Now, I think she always did."

Tristan smiled at you, and you smiled back. For the first time in a long time, you felt hope. 

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[one-leaf-grimoire]

JuLisa fluff alphabet <3

I am depressed so this somehow happened when I was supposed to be working on a lab lol.

Nothing spicy under the cut, only wholesome fluff. <3

A ctivities - What do they like to do together? How do they spend their free time?

Incidentally, Julius and Lisa basically spend ALL their time together, since they work and live together in the same place. But when they’re able to take a breather, they enjoy cuddling somewhere, reading a book, or going on a walk somewhere outside the noble realm. It’s nice to get fresh air and it gives Julius a chance to track down any cool magic.

B eauty - What do they admire about each other? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Lisa would say that she admires Julius’s confidence and positivity. He’s a very optimistic person and she needed someone like that to rub off on her. She finds his eyes to be very beautiful, as well as his lips...

Julius would say he admires EVERTHING about Lisa, but more than anything her tenacity and determination. She’s worked harder than anyone else in the kingdom despite being beaten down again and again. He would also say that her entire being is the most beautiful... but above all her eyes. And legs. ;)

C omfort - How would they help each other when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Julius is usually the one who has to comfort Lisa. For a man who’s good with words, he knows that they don’t work in those low moments, and instead makes sure to hold her tight, a silent gesture to tell her that everything is going to be alright. 

But even though he’s strong, the pressure of his job sometimes gets to Julius. Wordlessly, he’ll bury himself in Lisa’s chest, and she strokes his hair and whispers things in his ear to help him calm down. You’re doing your best. You’ve done nothing but wonderful things for everyone. And for me, too. You’re good enough.

D reams - How do they picture their future with each other?

Absolutely, for both of them. Julius has wanted to marry Lisa since almost day one jafkdsl but he took it slow of course. Lisa is always a little scared to dream about the future but it fills her with joy. Marriage might not be at the forefront of her mind, since she would just be happy to be by his side for the rest of their lives. And of course... they both wanted to adopt children eventually and have a big family.

E qual - Which is the dominant one in the relationship?

Funny enough, Lisa is probably the more dominant one in the relationship (outside the bedroom but I won’t get into that lol). From the start, Julius has always been very careful about the power dynamic between them, since he’s the WK and all, and his solution was to let Lisa kind of take the lead in a lot of things, relationship-wise.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their each other? How are they fighting?

They really don’t fight all that much? If Lisa gets upset Julius can usually tell right away. If Julius gets upset, he’s quick to say something about it. But if it’s a rare, bad fight, Lisa usually retreats into silence until Julius comes to apologize. But like I said, they are fairly harmonious and even the fallouts of the “worst” fights only last an hour or so.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? 

Lisa is beyond grateful. She’d probably be dead if it wasn’t for Julius, and his presence in her life has changed it completely. As for Julius, meeting Lisa brought new meaning into his life that he didn’t before, and he was able to imagine a future for himself that wasn’t lonely and dedicated solely to his work.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from each other? Or do they share everything?

Lol it is VERY hard to hide secrets between them, so they usually tell each other everything. However, there’s a few notable exceptions to this, including when Julius managed to hide the fact that he met a future version of Lisa during the elf arc. He did tell her eventually.

I nspiration - Did they change each other somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Yeah! For Lisa, Julius was the one who finally convinced her to leave her old life behind and become a magic knight. And later, he inspires to her want to become the Wizard King one day, returning long-lost ambition.

For Julius, it’s the other way around. He was ambitious when he was young, and sprinted to the top as fast as he could. He had resigned himself to a life committed solely to his job, but when he met Lisa, all that changed. Not only did she give him a more human reason to protect the kingdom, but she opened up a new future to him that he never thought he would be able to pursue... he finally found something he could love more than the kingdom itself.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Both of them have many admirers but they’re both comfortable enough to know that nothing unfaithful would ever happen. However, Julius does NOT trust other men around Lisa ajksl and is not afraid to flaunt his status proudly if he feels like someone is trying to get friendly with her. 

K iss - Which one is the better kisser? What was the first kiss like?

At first it was definitely Julius. Lisa’s only kiss before him was quick and drunk, but luckily she was now in the hands of a master ;) Their first kiss was shared after Lisa was badly injured trying to stop an assassination attempt and their feelings were finally spoken. Over time, Lisa definitely grew to match Julius’s kisses :)

L ove Confession - How did they confess to each other?

At the same moment as their first kiss! Lisa realized that the reason she fought so hard was because she couldn’t bear the thought of Julius not being in her life, and Julius realized that Lisa meant more than the world to him. Holding her limp and almost dead in his arms was what hammered that point home for him. In the hospital later, he came to visit and they both ended up all over each other, and never wanted to let go again. :)

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Like I said before, YES! It wasn’t on Lisa’s mind until Julius brought it up, but she really wanted to. They were talking to each other about having kids, and Julius mentioned that, if they did, he would be expected to be married to the mother of his children. But he promised that he would do a better proposal later! Which he did... When Lisa came back from the Sea Temple mission, Julius took her up on the roof before pulling out a gorgeous ring, and asked her to “be my queen.”

As for a wedding, sadly they never got to have an official one. However, they eloped before the Royal Knights exam and sealed the deal. However, now that Lisa lives in a timeline where Julius is very much alive and well, they are still planning a large ceremonial wedding for sometime in the next year.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Lisa usually sticks to simple things like “darling” or sometimes “Juli~” because it sounds cute. Julius bounces between many pet names, his favorite being “sweetness” <3

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Before they confessed, both of them kept their card close to their chest. Lisa was slightly worse at this. Images of Julius were constantly dancing in her mind and she would often get distracted lol. When she was around Julius, just a mere touch or an intense look made her blush furiously. It was pretty easy for Julius to tell that something was going on with her.

As for Julius, like I said, at first he was able to stay calm, but rest assured he was freaking out all the time on the inside. But in private, he too got distracted easily and would smile to himself “creepily” (in Marx’s words). It was very hard for him to get any work done.

Once everything was out in the open, Julius was not afraid to show his feelings at the drop of the hat. Lisa still got very flustered about it but was very happy to know that she was loved.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Sadly, the two of them could not be upfront about the relationship for a long time. Lisa got into trouble last time someone found out about it, so they keep to themselves. But within the castle, Julius is very loving and doesn’t mind PDA at all. Lisa still is a little worried that someone from the press is going to find out, but is usually very eager to receive whatever he gives her.  

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Dyad. I’ll leave it at that ajkfdsl

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make each other happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Oh boy. As soon as Julius got a girlfriend it was clear that he was the epitome of the romantic type. He can be creative AND cliche, and both are just as sweet. Flowers, fancy dinners, romantic escapes to the countryside, he would do all of it at the drop of a hat for Lisa.

Lisa’s approach is less of the grand gesture type and more small things. Small gifts, quality time, that kind of stuff. 

S upport - Are they helping each other achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Absolutely. Julius has already kind of reached his goals but Lisa is a great help to him every day as he goes through his WK duties. As for Lisa, she doesn’t really have any future goals for a long time but wants the kingdom to prosper, so she helps Julius as much as she can.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Their relationship is very spontaneous. Both of them like to run off on a date at the drop of a hat, sometimes in the middle of a work day! But they do value routines too, especially when they’re winding down for the day.

U nderstanding - How good do they know each other? Are they empathetic?

After six years together, they know each other inside and out. Even without the help of a Dyad spell, they complete each other and are always open and understanding with communication.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

More than anything.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Lisa really likes curling up under Julius’s robe. It’s so soft and warm and it smells like him. When Lisa is away, Julius sleeps with it too because it smells like her. In truth... the two of them have the exact same scent but it’s the thought that counts lol

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yes. :) Julius is a big softie and Lisa is a human space heater so their cuddle sessions are pretty mindblowing lol.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing each other?

Neither of them are very happy when they’re apart. Lisa deals with it a lot better, since she’s usually out training when she rarely leaves him. Julius is a lot more clingy and can’t focus as well when she’s gone. The nights are long and lonely for him, and he finds it very hard to sleep alone now.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Both of them are really secure in their relationship and it is not really in danger. However, both of them would do anything for the other.

[doodles-arts]

Tantrum

Pairing: Bruce Banner 

Summary: Don’t you think it’s time that Bruce gets a girl that will never have to be scared of him and a happy ending? I do!

Rating: pg- talks of babies! 

warning?: Just fluff!

A/n: My baby zaddy needs a happy ending by now! Oh and please thank @incorrectavengersquotes for helping me find some inspiration with the conversations the avengers were having! Hope you enjoy and don’t be afraid to reblog if you liked it! I’d appreciate it tons!! Thanks again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Bruce were enjoying an outside party with the avengers for the summer. You had a gorgeous royal blue summer dress with yellow and lime green flowers. Bruce was on you the entire night, it was short, about an inch or 2 above your knees. He was like a fly and you were the honey, you didn’t mind though, it meant he was having a good time and he really was enjoying the outdoor party with his team. You were happy that he was enjoying himself. You know he has been very stressed with pleasing you lately. You two had been together for years and were recently married, so you finally wanted to try for a baby. You had been seeing countless doctors that would help you along the way, making sure that you would be safe and the baby, if anything were to ever happened. Brue was afraid that the hulk had ruined his chances, or worse, would hurt yours.

But you both loved each other and kept trying. It wasn’t easy though, the doctors were saying that you just needed some time and to keep trying. But you knew that it was Bruce’s fault, all of the women in your family had this issue. But you wanted a family with Bruce.

You and Bruce talked with Thor and Tony as they bickered about space and reality. You both laughed at Tony’s smart remarks and Thor’s careless responses. They’d go at it all day if they had too. You saw Steve join the conversation and knew exactly where it would head. As they spoke idly, Tony was quick to get their blood pumping. “Heard you were a boys scout, cap.”

Steve smiled at bruce before turning to Tony to shrug and answer, “Sure was, it was great for me as a kid. ‘A boys scout is always prepared’.” Tony held back his chuckle and whispered, “prepared to die a virgin.” You hid your face in Bruce’s shoulder to hold in the laugh you felt coming on. Steve had overheard him, however, and was quick to reply.

“Always prepared in emergencies. That’s why a week ago when that tropical depression hit-”

“You're in a tropical depression.” You and Bruce snickered, trying your best not to bust out laughing as Thor boasted at Tony’s quick remark. This was normal though, they always threw jabs at each other like this.

Bruce had a beer and you a soda, you didn’t like beers and you weren’t in the mood for a strong drink. The barbecue being finished by Steve brought you all together on the bench table Tony he set out. The night was beautiful, and though the stars weren’t so visible the city lights covered most of the darkness of the abyss. You both ate peacefully at the table teasing one another and sharing stories. Strange pain in your lower back distracted you but it left as soon as it came. You leaned your head on Bruce’s shoulder from the leftover pain and smiled when he wrapped an arm around your waist.

Natasha and you teased Steve when a certain name caught his attention. All in good fun and soon we turned to Tony and asked how Pepper was, he explained she was on a business trip he couldn’t pull her out of. Everyone sent a greeting off with Tony for when he spoke to her next. The party was going fantastically, and you felt something pure and unbothered between you and Bruce, all the baby business had you both stressed you supposed. And you knew that  Bruce could feel it too when he pulled you from the rest of the group to talk.

“You know our one year anniversary is coming up soon. I’d love to celebrate it with you, darling?” You smiled and rolled your eyes, “Of course we will, where would you like to go?” He looked around sheepishly, about to explain how he felt about airplanes, rubbing the back of his neck, knowing what he would say you grabbed his hand. Giving it a rub with your thumb and a sweet smile. “You know, we could always spend it at a cabin for a few days. No scheduled alone time. Just peace and quiet. Books, cuddles, and lots of warm tea. And then we can cut a cake with our friends, take a few pictures and it’ll be a wonderful scrapbook memory.”

He smiled and looked down before leaning in to kiss you. Softly. “You always know what to do. I can’t believe I got so lucky.”

“You better believe it, stud”, you giggled and walked back over to your friends. You were all taking on the grassy ground, Clint and Natasha were back to back and Thor and Steve were sitting closest and Tony sat near you and Bruce and yourself, you were leaning against his chest and he had a protective arm around your waist. You all recalled old times and battles while you listened and laughed.

You all chatted under the garden lights, enjoying each other’s voices. Tony joked how all the mess would be all his in the morning. Clint was quick to joke and counter, “Who said? We’re staying up late, trading manly tips, and wake up to make waffles and eggs.” Natasha snorted at his obvious sarcasm.

It was late into the night when everyone started cleaning to go head home or to bed. You and Bruce helped clean up, you helped with the cups, and bruce helped Steve with the Grill. You had another pain up your back when you threw out all of the cups and beer glasses. Man, could Thor drink, speaking of which, where was the drunk god…

Steve warned Thor loudly before a crash, you turned in a heartbeat when you heard bruce yelp in pain. You knew he wouldn’t hulk out, he’d control it, but when Thor laughed in a drunken haze, you knew his concentration was set off. You ran over and pulled Steve and Thor back, Steve understood and helped pull Thor inside.

As he yelled and fought to keep the hulk in, you knew it was too late.

Everyone began looking for weapons. “Wait, the Hulk won’t hurt anybody, he’s just gonna throw a tantrum. Stand down until he attacks. We wouldn’t want to piss him off anymore.” They looked at you cautiously but listened and put their weapons away. You stood in front of them, far away from Bruce, the first thing you noticed that broke was his ring, it hurt but you knew he’d fix it.

His shoulders hunched and grew, his legs swelled up and his usual skin color changed around his neck to green and spread. You pushed your friends back further. “Stand your ground. When he notices us he might think we’ll attack. But if we stay still and don’t attack he’ll either run away or…” You didn’t finish because honestly, you had no idea.

When he turned he jumped angrily and clenched the fist Bruce had burned. Roaring and looking around with a huff. When he saw all of you he roared and stomped over, “That’s it we're screwed”, Natasha sighed. You shushed him and stepped forward and puffed your chest out. “Hey don’t be so negative try being a little more upbeat!” Steve nervously tried to lessen the stress. She rolled her eyes while upping her voice an octave to sound more ‘upbeat’, “we’re screwed!”

Tony was quick to smartly add, “Happy, cap?” you stepped forward when he spotted all of you. He stopped in front of you, bent down to your height, and roared. You didn’t move, you tried your hardest not to flinch.

You were happy to see that the Hulk was staring at you incredibly and confused. When you kept your ground he looked around, confused, and unsure of where he was. His agape mouth and confused eyes stayed for a second before his eyes turned angry and he jumped around and growled. He was confused and lost. Frustrated- not angry.

“Hulk!” You sat right down on the grass and invited him to sit next to you. He contemplated it and ignored you until you spoke up again. “Are you lost? Or confused? Sit with me so I can fill you in, Hulk!” He breathed out hard through his nose before hopping back over to you cautiously before dropping to sit in front of you. The grassy ground around you sorta shook from his weight.

He looked around curiously at the barbecue and tables with alcohol around and garden lights blinking. He growled at your friends behind you. “They won’t hurt you, I won’t let them. Now let’s see. What’s the last thing you remember?” He stumbled on his words, trying to remember and form words. “Hulk breaks the Iron Man” you tried your best to hold back your smile. You knew sometimes the Hulk would get out of hand and Tony would try to put him to ‘sleep’. You looked up and leaned back on your arm.

“Well, I’m sure you know that some things have changed after that. So let’s pick up from there. So, you changed back to Bruce and he and I got married. We had a wedding, he also made a new book, and one time me and him had a celebration for you! For the first time you showed up”, you didn’t tell the others about that. It was supposed to help Bruce appreciate what he was and who else lived with him. The Hulk was obviously confused about your declaration about ‘marriage’.

“So, about a few years back in between the times when you were sleeping, Bruce met me. And we both fell in love with each other. And after the last time, you beat Iron Man, He and I got married.” He scrunched his nose up before he asked.

“What is marriage?” You smiled and held out your hand, “So basically, it’s a celebration of Bruce’s and I’s love for each other. That we’d protect each other, be loyal to each other and always protect each other. But you protect him more than I do, huh?” You showed off the little rock on your ring finger to the green man.

Though he gave a disgusted look to the love part of your explanation, he looked very proud about him protecting Bruce. “Yeah, this ring is a symbol of us, that means you too, big guy. I know we’ve never formally met, but I’m (y/n). And I know tons about you. Wanna get to know me?”

He gave a big grin and listened as you told him everything, and you got to meet the rest of the Avengers and everything else. He was calm, and he seemed very content with going to sleep very soon.

That was until the sound of a helicopter put him on high alert. They started shooting at him and his first instinct was to protect you. He grabbed you in his big hand and held it to his chest. Jumping around the garden, trying to find a way out. “HULK!”

He looked down, confused at your alarmed voice. Tony was in his suit trying to call the strikes off, informing them that he had a hostage. You were scared out of your mind of being shot, not of the Hulk, it was obvious he wouldn’t hurt you if he was trying to protect you. “I’m sorry Hulk but you gotta let Bruce out, or they're going to keep shooting. You might not get hurt, but I can. Won’t you miss me if I’m gone?” His eyes softened.

You could see the hurt on his face of Bruce being picked over him, but understanding that he was the solution to preventing you from being hurt. Right when the shots had stopped firing, Hulk sat down and sat you down on the grass with him. Using a finger to hold your tiny hand up to look at your ring. “Bruce do good with you. I miss you (y/n)” You smiled and helped his finger to your face and laid a tiny kiss on it. “Thank you Hulk, I’ll miss you, too”.

He hovered over you until he grew smaller and smaller and less green, you grabbed your husband before he fell forward and held his pants up. Laying his snoozing body against yours, you peppered kisses all over his face. “Thank goodness you’re okay, thank goodness”, He snored while you held him close. “I love you, you big baby”. The boys were over towards you in a heartbeat and helped get Bruce into a sofa inside. The paramedics came in and stole you both away to ensure Bruce was still in healthy condition and that you didn’t suffer any internal bruises or organ damage from being grabbed.

A scan was in order, as it would see any damage the doctors couldn’t see or you couldn’t feel. The doctors were pleased with your calm demeanor during the scan and thanked for being so cooperative. You knew that listening to someone who knew what they were talking about was better than asking too many questions. Once it was over and you were transported to a room your doctor came back and explained that you were perfectly fine and just wanted to make sure your bladder was fine and asked if it was okay if you took a sample of your urine. You had no issues with it and walked in the bathroom with a cup a doctor handed you.

The doctor thanked you once again and asked if you would like to wait in the room Bruce had been resting in. “That would be great, thank you!” You walked with him over to your husband’s room. He walked you in and informed you before he left, “I’ll be back to update you on the urine test once it comes. It will take quite a while.” You told him it ‘was no problem’. And sat with your husband. An hour or two passed as you waited

You sat watching over Bruce while you waited for the results. He groggily woke up and you stood over him while rubbing a hand over his curly head, “How ya’ feeling, tuff guy?” When he noticed where he was, he groaned, “It happened again, didn’t it? Did I hurt anyone? Are you okay?” You nodded and smiled while pushing away a stray curl from his face. “I’m fine, baby, Hulk didn’t lay a finger on me. And no one was hurt or killed. You can rest easy, Honey.”

He seemed confused and you explained everything and he was truly impressed that you could control him. “I didn’t control him Brucey, he decided to listen when I reached out to him, he was confused. Every time he forms, all he remembers is the last time he formed, he doesn’t have all of your memories, only a few.” Bruce pulled you into a hug, so happy to know you were okay and maybe you’d finally be the one he didn’t scare off. It was a very endearing notion to know, the Hulk didn’t scare away the love of his life.

“I’m just glad you aren’t hurt, I want to grow old with you and have a family you keep envisioning. I love you and I'm just so relieved he didn’t scare you away”, you pushed him playfully, “If I’ve told you once, I've told you a thousand times, I'm not going anywhere handsome.” And Bruce trusted you, He pulled you into a tight hug again and gave you a wonderful kiss.

It was slow and sweet, he cradled your face sweetly and pulled you closer to him until you were basically on the bed. One of your hands into his dark curls, pulling softly. A soft sound of someone clearing their throat brought both of your attention. “Nice moves, Banner”, Tony’s voice brought you both into grins and blushing.

Behind your smiling doctor was the entire team, Thor held a bouquet of flowers for Bruce. “I have some good news for you Mrs. Banner”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on the door had you on your toes in a heartbeat; you walked over to the door and the sounds of the pitter-patter of feet on the wooden floor had you smiling. Checking the door and squealing before opening the door to familiar faces. “Hey, guys!”

Tony, Pepper, Steve, Thor, Natasha and Clint were at the door, they all smiled at you, your greyhound barked in a friendly manner and ran straight to Steve for best, everyone laughed. “Come on in! I’ll go get the mad scientist.” A little tug at your dress made you look down at your beautiful two-year-olds russet eyes. You picked her up and she waved at all of your friends and Pepper smiled excitedly, she giggled and blew her a kiss.

Pepper gasped and through one back, while everyone took turns asking for a kiss. “Aunt Peppa, have a special somebody for you to meet!” She smiled and asked, “who?” Pepper reached down for the cutest little girl, “Her name's Morgan, She’s very excited to meet you!” You cooed at the little girl who was obviously a lot younger than your little Natty.

She made peek-a-boo eyes at Morgan when you reached her forward. Everyone smiled, your baby was your bundle of joy and when you were announced pregnant, everyone was excited. “Tony you devil, she’s so beautiful, you both are blessed”, Tony wrapped an arm around pepper pridefully and smiled while offering his finger to Morgan and she giggled and immediately accepted.

You giggled, “She’s a daddy’s girl I assume?” Pepper grinned and shrugged, “Guess he’ll always be able to charm the ladies, isn’t that right little lady?” She tickled the little girl to which she happily laughed.

You held Natty a little closer, “Why don’t you say hi to Natasha and play for a little while I get your father”, she smiled and you set her down while she ran over to Natasha. She happily picked her up and spun her around.

“You finally have a descendent Nat, now you can stop cursing me and my boys,” Clint laughed as Natasha stared daggers at him. You walked into the Basement lab and pressed a kiss to your husband’s forehead and he hugged you instinctively. “The guys are here to see us, come up for lunch and say hi?” He smiled and stretched while putting away his things. He had gotten a lot better at taking breaks. Something you both fixed before the arrival of your bundle of joy.

He put his glasses down and came up the basement stairs with you. When Bruce came up the stairs, your daughter yelled out “Daddy, Daddy!” She hadn’t seen him since breakfast and Nat had put her down so she could clumsy walk over to him. When she got close enough she tripped and Bruce caught her just in time and zoomed her up before placing her on his hip. His first greeting was to Pepper, Tony and Morgan. He smiled incredibly and congratulated Tony before cooing at Morgan, and she was loving it!

“Remind me to make you the emergency babysitter,” Tony joked, but Bruce agreed. His fear of hurting children changed when your daughter loved him unconditionally. She was obsessed with him and could never get enough of him. It surprised him how much she loved spending time with him. By the time Bruce greeted Thor and Steve, Natty was drooping asleep with a thumb in her mouth.

Natasha hid away with you at the kitchen, “He’s a natural with her, your family is amazing.” You smiled and nodded, “He’s going to be over the moon when he finds out there will be more for him to love.” You held your stomach and smiled as Natasha grinned. “You guys just don’t quit, do you?” She joked and you smiled.

“That’s why I called you guys all over, I wanted it to be like the first. And it’s an excuse to see Morgan. And for Natty to meet her.” She nodded and added, “they’ll make wonderful friends.”

“I just hope they don't turn out to be thick as thieves, or I'm in for a ride”, you chuckled and so did Nat. Pepper soon joined you in the kitchen to help out with lunch. She called for anyone who wanted wine. So you handed the glasses out and fill them up. As everyone got together and teased each other, while lilac, your greyhound, tried to steal Steve’s lunch and beg it out of Bruce’s plate. Before you put Natty to sleep you told her to heel. She behaved while you were in the room, but as soon as you left with Pepper to put the babies to sleep, she was begging again.

While you all ate you had lilac stay by your side and the boys were finally able to eat in peace. While the boys all finished eating you caught their attention before they walked outside to play with Lilac. “So, yesterday was the anniversary of Tony and Pepper announced they had  Morgan-”, They both smiled and Tony held up his glass, “-so, I thought today would be a perfect day, to tell you guys, I and Bruce will be having another little bundle!”

They all cheered and the guys teased Bruce, as they walked out, Bruce sent you the biggest grin ever, you sent him a wink.

While everyone left to go home, you and Bruce bid them goodbye before Natty gave Natasha a big hug and sent a kiss to everyone else. She came back inside, basically stumbling while she got used to being on her feet all the time. She went to the living room to play.

Bruce picked you up for a second and gave you a huge kiss. “God, having Natty was a blessing and a nightmare, I never knew that I'd be a good dad. But know that I know I can keep them safe, having another was my biggest dream!” He hugged you close and you giggled, “I didn’t know it would have happened. But I wasn’t surprised either. Not like we were doing anything to prevent it”, he laughed and his eyes got a little misty.

“Never in my life did I think that I would have a family, and now I have something that Hulk can never outshine or take away.” You nodded and kissed him sweetly until a little shove made you guys take a step apart. “Mommy daddy is hugging! Why?”

You both smiled and Bruce picked her up and gave her a raspberry, “You're going to have a little brother or sister, baby!” She grinned and she had a big look in her eyes, “yay!” You all hugged and gave her a big wet kiss on each cheek, and she squealed and giggled, squirming away.

This family was the best thing that you could have dreamed of. Bruce was the man you always needed, the Hulk was not a barrier for you. You’d whoop his butt before you tore you and Bruce apart.

[im-bipolar-but-thats-okay]

Love, Pt 2.

Well I just couldn’t fit all this shit into one post. Here is some more about the men who have hurt me or I have hurt. Maybe I should start dating women.

The Soulmate This one taught me how it felt to be truly loved. I met him when I was working at Walgreens. Apparently, he had been watching me for a while. Then one night, he got high enough to ask me for my phone number. I was having a really bad day and I thought he was joking. I remember asking him, “You want my number? Are you sure?” We started texting immediately. One night I was driving to the next town with my friends for no reason. It was late, like midnight. I asked him to come along. We snuggled in the back seat drinking beer. I was depressed back then. I felt lost. He made me feel found. One of the sweetest gifts he ever gave me was a book from my favorite author and flowers. We were together for 5 years I think. I’m not good with dates. He was and still is the only person who has ever truly understood my feelings. He would take care of me when I was depressed. Dragged me out of bed when I needed it. Got me outside. Made sure I ate. When I got an awesome job opportunity, we moved to Texas together. I bought us a house. I experienced so much with this boy and I truly loved him. This is the second time I thought I was going to be with someone forever, but our relationship had a lot of problems, too. He was irresponsible. He lied a lot. He was in and out of jobs. He had some of his own secrets. I struggled with trust because of his lying and my own insecurities. Still, I did my best to support him and our little family. (We had two dogs and two cats.) I encouraged his cycling and even went 9 months without a washer or dryer to help pay for a $3000 bicycle. This is also when I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I started taking medication and tried to be a better girlfriend. But then he got a real full time job in landscaping and things changed. He seemed angry all the time. We just couldn’t get along. Then we became distant. I tried my best to work things out, but we just couldn’t. I even cheated on him. Yup. I cheated on the man I thought was my soulmate. That is how far gone we were. I’ve never done anything like that before or since. This happened towards the end of our relationship and I don’t think he knows. But the final straw for me was when he ruined a Deftones concert. We got lawn seats. I was ecstatic. He fell asleep during the show. He was exhausted from work. I tried to wake him up, but he got angry with me. We got into a fight and ended up leaving. I missed most of the show. I was devastated. The next day he blamed me. He was angry, and I was upset about missing the show. We had a huge fight. I left and went to the library. The one place I could get some peace and quiet. I cried in my car and I knew it was over. The next day he packed up as much stuff as he could into his truck and left for Colorado. I let him keep the PS4 and his cellphone that I paid for. I continued to pay for his cellphone for months after we broke up. I guess I felt guilty for everything and I just wanted to help him. I haven’t talked to him in a really long time, but I know he still uses my Kroger savings card.

The Enabler He was lost just as much as I was. He was going through a divorce and drinking heavily. I was still grieving the end of my relationship with The Soulmate. We found comfort in each other’s arms. He was good to me. Very good. I tried to be good to him too. I cleaned his house, did his laundry, washed his clothes, and cooked him dinner. I played the role of happy homemaker where his actual wife failed. But this relationship was toxic for us both. I started drinking a lot and smoking a lot of cigarettes around him. That is pretty much all we did, drank a lot and had a lot of sex. A LOT of sex and A LOT of drinking. One night we were drinking on the roof of my house. I liked looking at my neighborhood from up high. There are a lot of stories about what happened that night and one day I will write about it, but basically I fell off the roof of my house and broke my wrist. He rushed me to the hospital, also very drunk. He stayed with me for 3 days while I had surgery and was so doped up out of mind that I barely knew he was there. But you know my issues with alcohol. The demon came out a few times. I said things to hurt him, did things to hurt him. He couldn’t take it. He was already dealing with so much. He broke it off and it broke my heart. It still hurts to talk to him or see him to this day. I’m not sure if I had done things differently if it would have worked out, but, at the time, I really thought it could. I really thought if I had not let the demon out, we could’ve got married and had babies and lived happily ever after. Now, I know that is wrong. He wasn’t ready for a relationship like that and neither was I.

WHOOP! End of Part 2. Will there be a part 3? Yes. Stay tuned for the final installment of “Dumb Shit I Did When I Thought I Was In love.”

[desinism]

If that hurts so much, why can’t you just leave them?

That’s definitely a question for some of you who is confused between Love, Ego, and Bond. That’s okay I used to asked the same question. In my journey through life looking for a peaceful mind, I have experienced some hurtful relationships with my beloved people and that is what we called as toxic relationship. Some of you might be wondering “what the heck is a toxic relationship?”. Guys, you may have experienced it or you are currently in that relationship now but you just don’t realize it. Well it's not easy to see or even realize that you are in a toxic relationship.

So, I'm gonna tell you what a toxic relationship is.

A toxic relationship comes from a toxic person, obviously. Who is considered as toxic person? They might be your lover, friends, even your parents and siblings, they can be considered as toxic person. Yes, blood ties don’t guarantee that you have a good relation. In my journey until now, my toxic person (lol) are a friend and family. It is so damn hard to be close with them.

Okay I’ll start with a friend. She was one of my best friend. We hung out together, laughed together, occasionally have a sleepover together, heck we even tried some bad things together We were so happy back then. And then, I realized something that has been bothering me for a long time. If you read my last article, you’ll know how insecure I am back then. Yes, she told me that I’m ugly, it’s like it is such a bad thing to be myself. And there are load of things she said about me. And I will never forget how she killed my dream. She always try to ’shaped’ others to be have the same mindset as her especially in ‘dating department’. When we were talking about the future she always asks “When do you think we will get married?” to be honest marriage is not something I see in my future but when I told her that she got mad at me. She also has problem about how I never date anyone and that in my age, I have should have been dating someone just like her. How tired.

That was just a short story that make me feel so insecure and hurts. I was insecure of my body, my dreams, and being a woman. It’s like I failed to be a woman, a princess who always live in the romance world. I’m an adult (based on my age) who have never been in a ‘real’ relationship, and I feel so ugly, I was so fuckin insecure back then. So, what did I do at that time? I forced myself to look for a man, live in someone else’s expectation, be someone else, and pretend to be okay when I’m judged. I did all those things to be accepted and keep her as friend.

Let’s move to the 2nd story.

This story comes from my family. Well, I’ll shorten it.

My father have passed away when I was 12. I live with mother, 2 sisters, and a brother. My sisters already have a family at that time.

Me as a young girl who is still learning about the cruel world we live in, and I’ve always been judged, blamed even cursed by my own family. They always forced me to be a ‘good girl’ in the name of religion, but I don’t like it. Hmm actually, it takes 8 years to figure it out. My mom is very very grumpy. When I made one mistake, she cursed at me and make sure that everything is my fault until she felt satisfied, and me? Crying alone and make sure no one knows I was crying. My sisters and my brother, it looks to me they just don’t seem to care about me because they always agree of what my mom said, they don't even bother to ask me if I’m okay, I felt so lonely. I’m just all alone. Someday, on a good day they ask me what it is that I want. Unfortunately, I can’t tell them well, I was so scared. Yes, I was scared of my own family, my mom who gave birth to me. I can’t talk to them, I feel so uncomfortable when I’m with them, it’s like I want to go far away. And yes, it takes me like 8-9 years to realized that.

In 2017 (if I'm not mistaken or forgot), I felt so depressed for like 2-3 months. I don’t have someone to lean on, I was just all alone. Feeling so tired, scared, empty, frustration, mad, and hurt every night, and no one knows about that. In this year, I began to avoid my friend, and you know what she thinks? she thinks that I am a problem, funny? Yep lmao. And then in 2018 when I watched a k-drama called Wise Prison Life (you can read my first article), I dare myself to move on and try to accept everything I have.

So, those are some stories of mine about toxic relationship. This view might change your mindset about toxic person. Because yes, it can come from everyone even your own family.

Hm, i think you already figure it out what the toxic person is. Based on my experience, toxic person is a person who always blaming, cursing, and judging you excessively. Basically, they do violence verbally, physically, etc., it certainly hurts you and disturbs your mental health. What are the benchmarks? It depends on yourself, that's only you know about the limits. So guys, if you're hurt, you are just hurt. Stop pretending to be okay.

Reconciliations? I cut off ties with my friend. I let myself to let it go. I do love her, I like her so much but she hurts me a lot, and I’m tired to be stupid. It takes courage, indeed. And you know what? Now I have many friends who are more ‘healthy’, supportive, understanding and cool. I lost a friend, then I got another one, sometimes you have to believe in the universe guys.

Then how about my family? as the time goes by, my older siblings try to understand what I'm feeling, they become quiet when my mom start to blamed me for something. And yeah, once again I dare myself to be honest to my family. it’s not just once actually, it takes 3 times to say what I want and finally they understand. I had a serious talk with my mom, just the two of us, and yeah we had a deeptalk, she’s telling me about how she feels. And evidently, she also felt what I felt too. So we finally understand of each other minds and hearts.

Ah yes, maybe this one is not a story I experienced first hand, but I’ll just remind you this.

If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and he/she’d love to cursed, blamed, or even hit you with his/her hands/things or hit you by his/her speech, and it hurts you, leave him/her. It’s not Love anymore, it’s just your ego and fears to be single. You deserve something better guys.

My conclusion is if only that toxic person could be invited to solve problems, why not for peace? But you also have to be able to see the situation and condition of the toxic person. Can they be invited to make peace or not, make sure of that. Because there is some people who still can't accept themselves yet.

Let’s just live in peaceful mind, enjoy some little things, and be happy all the time. ❤️

editor: @yashintap (ig)

[heartbeatan]

No Expectations (Chapter 1)

Return to Table of Contents.

Return to Taehyung Fanfictions.

Return to Masterlist.

Chapter 1

You weren’t quite sure you had heard Taehyung’s words clearly so you couldn’t help but stare blankly back at him as your brain tried to process the declaration. You couldn’t have possibly heard what you thought you heard. It didn’t make any sense.

It had been three years since you met Jae, who you thought was the love of your life; 18 months since you two had gotten married; 15 months since you got pregnant; 6 months since you had your baby; 4 months since you were diagnosed with postpartum depression; and, 12 weeks since your husband walked out on you.

Walked out was putting it lightly. He ran and you didn’t even hear the starter pistol. One day, after he refused, once again, to join you on your routine check-up with the pediatrician, you returned home to find him waiting for you with a short stack of documents. Legal documents. One executing a divorce; one signing over his parental rights; and, another agreeing to transfer you enough money to buy out his portion of the mortgage and four years worth of his son’s college tuition – an impressive feat given that the man barely lasted a year in any job and wouldn’t have the job he was in now if it wasn’t for you who had been editorializing his resume and sending it out to prospective employers. Since you also managed the household expenses, you weren’t sure how he had managed to secretly shell away so much money, or if he had perhaps come by it by some other means. Regardless, it was a monumental enough sum that proved he wanted nothing to do with you or with his child and that he was willing to put himself on skid row in order to get out of it. Perhaps, if you had a clearer head, you would have refused to sign the agreement and at least taken it to a lawyer. The amount was a lot for him in the short term, but it certainly wasn’t enough to account for everything he legally would have owed you and your son for. However, you were so furious, hurt, and offended that you signed your name then and there and swore that he’d never be allowed to recant if he ever wanted to have a relationship with Woori. Unphased, he left, with his copy of the documents, a single suitcase which couldn’t have possibly accounted for everything he owned but again, his desire to leave meant he was fine with abandoning his non-essential belongings… except for the Play Station.

In hindsight, perhaps you should have seen the signs, but you had been so focused on preparing to bring a life into the world that his late nights, passive aggressive undertones and general disinterest in you or your impending offspring went unnoticed. Perhaps you chose not to notice. Perhaps you rationalized that his attitude would change once he finally laid eyes on his child, and he and your relationship would return to some level of normalcy. But that sadly wasn’t the case.

Instead, he became even more distant and more unavailable. You blamed yourself for causing the rift and took pity on him that he had to put up with you, on top of work and the stresses of being a new parent. You thought daily if you could just hold on and just survive a little bit longer then everything would be fine. You would become the woman he fell in love with, you would shower him with all the passion and affection you once did, and life would become blissful once again. He didn’t hold on though. You found out days after he left that he had moved in with his new girlfriend, so chances were he hadn’t been fighting for your marriage for a long time.  

After the anger had passed and you began to accept your new life as a single mother, you came face-to-face with the reality that you were lonely. You had moved to this city for work without intention of staying, but, after you met Jae you decided making a life with him was worth living permanently 10,000 kilometres away from your family and close friends. Most of your friends here were through Jae’s friends so you felt especially awkward to hang out with them, nonetheless risk Jae finding out you were a mess without him.

The only people you had really remained in contact with were Jae’s parents. They were disappointed and embarrassed by how their son treated you and how he could abandon their grandson; last you heard they had only started speaking to him recently. Mostly they desperately wanted to have a relationship with Woori and you were happy to allow that – they weren’t the culprits after all. You were pretty sure they were also the ones dropping grocery gift cards in your mailbox – a God send since between Jae leaving and your maternity pay, the household income had been cut so heavily. Despite them making you feel welcome, it still wasn’t a perfect support system; they were still Jae’s parents after all.

You were tired, broke, alone, poorly nourished on takeout food, and the house and yard was a mess. You still hadn’t lost the baby weight which made you feel like a failure and also made you say “what’s the point” to your regular personal hygiene routine. The more and more you sunk deeper into your lonely and dark routine of “just survive” the more and more anxious you became and the more you isolated yourself from the world.

That’s why when Kim Taehyung, one of Jae’s childhood best friends, arrived out-of-the blue at your door, you were trying your best to keep him occupied in the kitchen; it was a means to keep him away from the shambled living room, your form hidden behind the kitchen island, and a way to send him the message that he wasn’t to stay too long.

Nonetheless, you offered him some water and you two chatted for a while about the news, weather, and friend gossip – of course avoiding the topic of Jae. It was nice to have an adult conversation again and you were finding his company to lift your spirits. But why was he here? Taehyung definitely knew Jae didn’t live there anymore, and he had never stopped into see just you before – you were never that close. When you mustered up the courage to ask why he had come, his answer hit you like an anvil.

“Sorry,” you shook your head. “I don’t think I heard you right.”

“I’m in love with you,” he replied awkwardly as if he wasn’t sure of the answer; perhaps his insecurity is what made you misunderstand him the first time – or that fact that this news came out of absolutely nowhere.

“I--- are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

“Oh… since when?”

“Since basically the beginning,” he replied as if he was answering a question about how long he’s been able to ride a bike.

“Oh…” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation so casually. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do with this information. You certainly weren’t in love with him and you certainly weren’t ready to start dating again. But you liked Taehyung and wanted to let him down as gently as possible. Before you could formulate how to do that, he stopped you.

“Listen, before you say anything, I have no expectations. I didn’t come here to ask you to be my girlfriend. I know you’ve got way more important things than dating on your mind right now, I just…” he paused to collect his thoughts before he continued. “I just know a little bit about how difficult a time this can be for you. My sister went through the same thing and I saw how she struggled – and she still had a full-time husband at home.” You realize then that Taehyung was referring to your postpartum. “I also know you don’t have any family here and that you haven’t seen the women in a while. It’s difficult to feel alone…”

A crash interrupted Taehyung’s monologue as Woori chucked his toy car off the highchair and onto the floor. Unphased, Taehyung picked it up and cooed at Woori before returning it. Of all “the men” in your group, Taehyung had always been the best with children, despite not having any of his own. The scene made you smile a little.

“Anyway,” he continued as Woori began smashing his car against the tray again, “I worry about you and I just couldn’t let you go on thinking that you were alone and unloved. So, I came here because… I wanted you to know that… I love you.”

He shrugged his shoulders. His last statement made your chest tighten and tears threaten to form in your eyes. Even though you knew the love he was talking about was more than the kind of love you were looking for, it was true that it was something you didn’t even know you desperately needed to hear. Someone was on your side through all this.

“I’m not the only one, you know. The girls are all worried about you,’ he continued. “You should call them. They’re your friends too. None of us see Jae that much anymore anyway.”

The mention of his name instantly brought a bad taste to your mouth. Anger may have passed, but it had been replaced by disgust. The only saving grace was that it was coming out of the mouth of one of Jae’s best friends who had just declared his love for you…

“I also have something else,” Taehyung straightened his shoulders and spoke confidently. “I want to help you. Anything you need… cut the lawn, some fix it stuff around the house, babysitting… whatever. I’m at your service. Like I said, I have no expectations, I’m not trying to swindle you into anything, I just want to help.”

The statement instantly made you giddy. Taehyung was a good worker and the prospect of having help to complete all the projects and chores Jae “never got to” made you instantly feel as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

Jae. That name came up again.

“I really appreciate the offer, Taehyung, but I can’t accept that. Does Jae know about…” you began but were uncomfortable finishing the sentence. What would Jae think if he knew Taehyung was in love with you? “What would Jae think about you around here all the time. I can’t come between you two like that.”

With a sigh, he responded. “You don’t need to worry about that. I don’t think Jae and I are friends anymore.”

“Did something happen between you?” you asked.

He shook his head no. “Nothing specific. I think the thing is he and I are really only friends today because we’ve been friends since we were kids. We are different people now. I don’t think nostalgia is enough anymore. So, don’t worry, you weren't what came between us.”

Even though you knew Jae didn’t deserve to have a friend as good as Taehyung, you still felt a sense of sadness for him at the loss. You wondered how the rest of the group felt about him. Perhaps Jae wasn’t doing that much better than you were; the thought was satisfying.

“I’m sorry anyway. Losing a friend is still tough,” you said softly. Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and the two of you sat in silence for a few moments.

“Anyway,” he broke first. “Like I said, I want to help. No expectations I’m just here if you need me.”

“Thank-you, Taehyung, I really appreciate it.”

“So, what are we doing today? Put me to work.”

You were a bit shocked. When he said he wanted to help you didn’t expect him to jump in so immediately. “Oh, no, no Taehyung, you don’t have to do anything. I’m fine really! I’ll call you if something comes up!”

“Would you really call though?” he raised his eyebrow.

You couldn’t lie. “Nooo…” you replied sheepishly.

“Well then, now is my only chance. If you’re not going to do it for yourself at least do it for me once. What were you planning on doing today?”

You paused for a bit as you considered whether or how you should shuffle him out of your house. But, despite the odd and somewhat uncomfortable declaration of love, the thought of having a work horse for the day became all to attractive and in a weak moment you answered.

“Well… I was thinking about weeding the gardens…”

“Done,” he interrupted you before you could recant.

“You really don’t need to do this. It’s a lot of work!”

“Don’t worry about it. I like to keep busy.”

“Well, Woori is going to sleep soon so at least let me help you,” you bargained.

“Nope. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it and you worry about yourselves. Why don’t you take a nap too, I’m sure you haven’t gotten much sleep lately?”

You almost scoffed at the idea. “A nap? I don’t know that life,” you quipped. Taehyung’s face pulled in amusement.

“I’ll show you a whole new world, Y/N, where adults take naps sometimes because they need one.” You too smiled at his banter. He stood up and headed towards the door to get to work. Once again, the guilt of having an acquaintance doing free manual labour for you washed over.

“Taehyung…” you called after him. He turned around to face you. “Are you sure about this?”

“Positive,” he smiled. “Don’t worry. I want to be here. No expectations.”

“At least let me make you dinner? The least I could do is feed you… Don’t say no,” you finished sternly when you saw him open his mouth to protest. He shut his mouth and smiled.

“Sure,” he said before he exited and headed off towards the backyard shed.

The smash of Woori’s car hitting the floor knocked you out of your stupor.

Did that really just happen? You asked yourself. Did Kim Taehyung, one of Jae’s best friends really confess his love for you and is now kneeling in your flower bed?

It was true. You peered out the back window to confirm it. There he was bent over the patch of grassy dirt that currently resembled the unmanicured side of the highway rather than a garden. A small pile of waste had already begun to pile up at his side.

Woori began to fuss. Like clockwork he was ready for his meal and a big afternoon nap, so you tried to put any thoughts of what was happening outside away until he was taken care of and fast asleep. For the first time in a while you felt a sense of relief.

Forty minutes later, Woori was fast asleep. You had walked out to bring Taehyung some lawn waste disposal bags and some water. You were preparing to help him out but he shuffled you away and back into the house insisting you couldn’t bribe him with water. Back in the house, however, you couldn’t sit still. Something about having Taehyung’s energy around the property had made you restless, and you felt a motivation you hadn’t felt in a while to do something. You started out with the overdue laundry, and while the wash machine did its job, you moved onto wiping down the kitchen surfaces and sweeping the floors.

Normally you would have thrown the washed clothes in the dryer, but today, in the spirit of accomplishing more, you decided to hang out a load on the clothesline as well. Taehyung waved to you from the distance and you waved back. It was nice. Just the way you had always imagined yourself and Jae to be like on a sunny chore filled Saturday. You pushed the thought aside as you headed back into the house. Today you didn’t need to waste time thinking about him. Today you were feeling motivated. Today you thought was the day you’d be able to get everything done you had been pushing off. You could wake up tomorrow as if you had pressed a reset button. The thought alone was a huge weight off your shoulders.

A while later, exhausted, you decided to take a shower before Woori woke up. For, yet another, first time in a while, you actually enjoyed showering. There was no stress that Woori would need you or that it had to be over quickly so you could try to tackle another task you’d never get to anyway. You took your time and even used the near expired luxury shower items that used to be apart of your beauty routine.

Out of the shower, you felt relax and your body was a little sore from all the things you accomplished so far that morning, but the pain was satisfying; it was the ache of achievement. You decided to lay down for just a minute before you powered on through the afternoon.

You opened your eyes to the sound of Woori’s car hitting the floor. You snapped up in bed upset at yourself for leaving it in his crib. That’s when you noticed the room had darkened slightly. You must’ve fallen asleep. You were sure you had because you hadn’t felt this rejuvenated in months. You jumped out of bed and pulled your robe tight around you as you headed off in the direction of Woori’s room.

When you entered the hall, you heard his little laugh, but it wasn’t coming from the direction of the nursery. You followed the sound and when you entered the kitchen you found Woori sitting happily in his highchair and Taehyung seated in front of him playing.

“Hey! Sorry if we scared you!” he said noticing the astonishment on your face. “I came in an he was crying so when you didn’t wake up, I brought him out here. I figured you probably needed the sleep.”

“Shoot!” you exclaimed. “I didn’t even mean to fall asleep, so I didn’t bring the monitor with me!” you felt complete embarrassment. Taehyung must be thinking you’re a terrible mother. How could you not wake up when your child was crying? “When did he wake up?”

“Maybe ten minutes ago?”

“What time is it?”

“Quarter after five.”

“Oh my god, I slept that long!” your voice raised an octave.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t be taking naps, there is so much to do around here; I’ll never catch up; I can’t…” your pitch raised again as the anxiety that greeted you each day had come back for a visit. Woori let out a little whimper and his face contorted as he sensed something was wrong.

You began listing off everything you had wanted to accomplish that afternoon. You moved frantically around the kitchen, not sure of which direction you needed to be heading in and soon enough your eyes began to sting.

Taehyung stood up and clasped his hands around your shoulders. “Hey, hey,” he said soothingly. “It’s ok. A lot got done today, there’s no need to beat yourself up.”

You looked up to the ceiling and tried to blink away the tears. “I’m terrible at this, Taehyung,” you sobbed. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I can’t keep up. They’re going to take my son away.” The flood gates opened; another first. You hadn’t ever let anyone see how terrified you were by your new situation, but somehow here in front of someone you hardly knew, it all came falling out.

“Hey, no one is going to take your son away. You are doing a wonderful job. Look,” he encouraged you to look at Woori. “He’s happy, he’s healthy, he’s loved. You are doing a great job.”

“I’m just so overwhelmed,” you covered your face with your hands. “I never expected to be doing this all alone.”

“Look at me,” he pulled at your hands. “You’re not alone anymore. I’m here to help, remember? Anything you need. No expectations.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” you sniffed.

“You didn’t ask, I offered. I want to. Please let me.” He didn’t look at you as if you were crazy, nor that he pitied you. He looked at you with empathy and it felt genuine. It felt safe and warm. What you really wanted to do at that moment was nestle into his chest and ask him to hug you; not in a romantic way - in a way that you needed to feel a friend, or a family member show you affection. You didn’t though. His declaration of love still hung in the back of your thoughts and even though he said he had “no expectations” you didn’t want to flirt with them. To your own surprise though, you nodded your head yes. Yes, he offered to help you, and yes, you were going to take him up on that offer.

“Good,” he smiled. “Woori and I are good out here for a bit. How about I start making dinner?”

“I said I’d cook.”

“I can do it,” he gave you a quick look up and down. “Go ahead and do whatever else you need to do.”

You weren’t sure what he was referring to, until you followed where his eyes had darted and realized that you were still in your bathrobe. Even though nothing had accidentally been exposed, you self-consciously tugged the neckline a little to be sure. That’s when…

“Oh, shit!” you made Taehyung jump a little. “I have laundry on the line!”

“Do you want me to go get it?”

“No,” you replied. “Nooo,” you replied again when you remembered you had your granny panties and nursing bras hanging out there.

Taehyung chuckled as you did. “I figured. Laundry is a private business. Now get out of here. We’re fine.”

A short time later, the three of you were seated around the kitchen table eating dinner. You were impressed Taehyung had managed to actually pull something that resembled a meal out of your cupboards.

I really need to go grocery shopping, you thought to yourself, but the instant you did you felt the anxiety swell at the prospect of braving crowds alone with an infant.

“Huh?” you asked. Taehyung had said something that knocked you out of your thoughts.

“I asked if you wanted to go for a walk,” he said again.

“Oh? Where are we going?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “No where in particular. Just around the neighbourhood. I like to walk after eating, it makes me feel better.”

“I don’t know. Woori usually gets a little fussy around this time.”

“We won’t go far then. Let’s do it. We could all probably use the fresh air.”

You considered saying “no” but after everything he had done for you today, and since you didn’t end up the chef of the night as promised, the least you could do was entertain a walk around the block.

Taehyung had been right. You did need the fresh air. The mucky part of spring was ending and the world was beginning to warm up and turn green again. Woori was perfect the whole time. He cooed and awed at the big, bright world around him; in fact it made you feel a little guilty that you kept him and yourself so cooped up all the time. He needed to be stimulated and you needed to start engaging with the world again. Having Taehyung around was nice too. You had someone to speak to and not just about how you were doing, but about the small things that you didn’t realize you missed talking about.

“I think I should do this every night. This is nice,” you thought out loud. Taehyung smiled.

“Anytime you want a walking buddy just give me a call.” A small silence fell upon you both. Not an uncomfortable one. But out of your fit before dinner, when in a weak moment you agreed to let him help you, you were unsure once again if you were comfortable doing that. Taehyung picked up on the mood shift. “Sooo… you have a lot of free space now that the weeds are gone. Are you planning on planting anything new?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. I always envied people who had beautiful gardens, but I don’t know if I could keep up with one.”

“Well, we can find some plants that don’t need a lot of maintenance. How about I’ll pick you up tomorrow and we can go check out the big greenhouse? We can take a look, maybe pick some stuff up and we can plant them when we get back.”

The thought was lovely, but once again the idea of braving a Sunday crowd made you panic.

“Don’t ask me again if I’m sure. I’m sure,” Taehyung jumped in anticipating you’d try to get out of your new agreement.

“It’s not that, I’m just worried about taking Woori out. If he has a fussy day – I just don’t know if I can concentrate on him and shopping. I’m still haunted by the first time I took him to get groceries.”

“I’m going to be with you the whole time. Between the two of us we’ll manage. If he gets too much then one of us can take him outside or we can just leave and try again another day. No big deal.”

No big deal. How could three small words near relieve you of all your trepidation. He was right. No big deal. And he would be there with you. It wouldn’t be like before with a baby developing a fever while you try to muscle your way through a long line at the cash. You would have help if you needed it.

“Yeah, OK. Let’s do it,” you finally responded.

“Yeah?” he sounded almost surprised.

“Yes… if you’re sure you want to waste your Sunday, of course.”

“What do I have to do to get you to stop that?” he laughed. You laughed too. It may be unconventional, but whatever was happening between the two of you now you were realizing might not be such a bad thing. Friends help friends when they need them; and the one thing you really needed right now was a friend.

[dailyaudiobible]

08/30/2020 DAB Transcript

Job 34:1-36:33, 2 Corinthians 4:1-12, Psalms 44:1-8, Proverbs 22:10-12

Today is the 30th day of August welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is a joy to greet the new week together with you and step into it together. It’s this shiny threshold that we throw the gates open and walk into every week and just remind ourselves nothing’s gone right or wrong, not…the bottom hasn’t fallen out of anything and we haven't soared into anything. It's a week that is in front of us and we will live into it, moment by moment and the story of this week will be told with the words that we say the conversations that we have the actions that we take the decisions that we make. That's what's gonna…that's how this week is gonna form itself. And, so, we choose now to center ourselves in God's Word and orient ourselves to Him and to submit ourselves to Him on the front end of the week, not at the backend when everything has gone wrong, now. We get to choose how to live into this week and what posture of heart we will live into it. Like are…are we gonna rage all week long or are we going to be patient? We get to choose that. And, so, let's choose wisely. And one of the wisest choices that we make is to continue the rhythm around the Global Campfire, allowing the Word of God to speak into our lives and inform our week. And, so, let's dive in. We’ll read from the New International Version this week and continue the book of Job. Today chapter 34, 35, and 36.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us into this shiny sparkly new week and we look to the future with anticipation as we prepare to end a month and begin anew. We mark the passage of time, as we as we always do. The passage of time is an opportunity for us to see Your faithfulness, that You have brought us here, that we are still standing. No matter how worn-out we might be, You have been faithful. We are still here, and we are grateful. And, so, we look forward with longing to all that You will speak to us in Your word and the coming week, all that You will do in our lives in this transformation process, this removal of the veil so that we might see and reflect Your glory upon this earth. What a gift. What an invitation. What an overwhelming sense of possibility, that we get to collaborate with You in the world this week. Come Holy Spirit. May we represent You well. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, home base, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here. So, check it out. You can check it all out using the Daily Audio Bible app as well by hitting the Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner.

Check out the Community section. This is where the Prayer Wall lives. This is part of what the Global Campfire is, that we are people who pray for each other, that we stay connected, that we actually get invested in each other's stories. We feel that spiritual connection with our brothers and our sisters, people that we may have never seen, people we may actually never be able to lay human eyes on. But as we…as we learn, that doesn’t mean we don't love them, that doesn’t mean we don't care. We are the body, right? If one hurts, we all hurt, and we sense that. And when one rejoices, we all rejoice, and we sense that. So, the Prayer Wall is definitely a resource for always being able to reach out for prayer and in prayer with prayer for one another. So…so check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. The link is on the homepage. If you are using the app, the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button. We have a Hotline button in our community. We can always reach out. And that is found in the app, little red button at the top, you can't miss it or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good afternoon family this is Soaring on Eagles Wings from Canada. If you guys…as you guys will remember, my mom passed away in March. She had breast cancer and other things and I was trying to get to Maryland before she passed but I missed it by hours. But my youngest sister, my baby sister, who has given up her whole life to care for our mom has had a mammogram and they called her for a diagnostic one and now they have seen some…something that they want to go and to a biopsy on. And, so, I’m asking you guys to pray, please in deep prayer for my baby sister Sandra as she’s faced with this now and she is in…is in emotional turmoil already because of the death of our mom. She hasn’t resolved that yet and now the possibility that there may be something there. And I am also a breast cancer survivor. So, please pray with me. My heart is just troubled because I’m concerned for my baby sister. So, I ask you all to join me in prayer and ask for God’s divine intervention so that He would miraculously remove whatever they…that there is…they are seeing their, that the biopsy will show a non-malignant situation. Grant her piece now because I’m sure she’s scared. She’s not saying much but I can imagine her thoughts. So please ask the Lord along with me to wrap His loving arms around her, protect her and keep her mind fixed on Him. She’s a Christian. She loves Jesus and I thank you all. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hey fellow DABbers this is Lincoln from Canada and I was wondering if you would be so kind to pray for my wife and myself. In June it would’ve been six…seven years since we got married and the first six years were pretty rocky but this last year has been a pretty good year until January when my wife informed me that she was leaving and I was completely blindsided by that. I did not see that coming. And, so, after she had moved out, we started some reconciliation efforts and we started to spend a little bit of more time together and things seemed pretty promising until May when it was my birthday. When I came home on my birthday she was at the house and she and surprised me with my favorite meal and she had gotten me some gifts and we spent an amazing weekend together, which was really nice. And then, right the very next weekend she…things weren’t going so well. So, she decided she was going to block me, and I have not had any communication with her in 2 ½ months now. So, today I reached out to her to see if there’s a way that we could come to the table and discuss a plan forward and she doesn’t seem to be willing. So, it is very painful, and it seems this marriage me may end in a divorce and I am praying that may not be the case. So, I’m inviting you to join me in prayer as we seek God’s leading and hopefully, we can get this marriage restored.

Hi Brian and Daily Audio Bible family this is Victory Michelle calling from New York. I’m so glad I was able to get in touch with you guys. I called once before but I don’t think my call got through. I’ve been with the Daily Audio Bible about 12 years now. Here’s my prayer request. I don’t have a job right now and I have some mental health issues that kind of prevent me from working sometimes. So, I really need a job that doesn’t stress out my mental health issues. Also, I’m thousands of dollars behind in my rent. I’ve applied to the city for grant. So, I need prayer that they will grant my request. And basically, that’s it. I’m also behind on my taxes as well. So, I have a lot of financial problems that have been giving me a lot of anxiety and depression. I’d also like prayer for a husband because I’ve been single all my life. I’m in my 50s right now and I believe God wants me to have one. Just want to thank you and I really appreciate being on this call and I hope someone’s able to pray for my prayer request. Thank you.

Hi this is Dorothy out in California. This message is for Jana who has a daughter, Amber in third grade, and you’re worried about school. This is for Shannon. Your birthday is this coming Saturday and you just lost your mom and I am so sorry about your loss. And Prodigal, who you’ve lost everything and you’re struggling with your son who’s addicted to heroin and stole from you a lot of money. Abba please, please, rescue them. Please help them. Please step in. Guys, I can’t…I can’t give…say anything in that I’ve ever experienced…I’ve never been where you’re at. One day you’ll be able to help someone who has been where you’re at. God came to me in a dream a couple days ago. I think it was God. There was this man and his name was Abba but he said make sure to mention only my kids call me that and I was distraught over something and I was ready to give up on life and he had said, there’s more than what you see, don’t give up. Keep going. I love you guys. You are not alone. You have a DAB family. Keep calling and keep posting on the Prayer Wall even if it’s every day. God loves you. He is the God of miracles. He has you in His hands. I love you guys.

Hi, DABbers this is Lucy in Huntsville Alabama. My family lost two members on Tuesday, August 25th. My dad died. I had not called in about him, but I put a prayer request in DAB friends on Facebook. I did not know at this time that a cousin of his who was, I guess she’s a third cousin of mine, she died as well the same morning. She had been diagnosed with melanoma just a few weeks ago and was doing great and suddenly had to be rushed to the hospital a week and half ago and had a pulmonary hemorrhage. They had to do work on her in the hospital, but they couldn’t get her in an ICU bed because there were no ICU beds available because of all the COVID patients. My dad got the COVID-19 also. He was in a nursing home. He was safe but someone brought it in, and he ended up with pneumonia last week and I kept checking on him nobody could visit but he seemed to be doing great until Monday. The nurse told my brother that she thought he was about to die, and he hung on for one more day. I really appreciate your prayers. My brother and I both of us had cancer. My cousin had cancer. I got…her daughter also has another form of cancer. We would really, really appreciate your prayers at this time. Thank you.

[sauntered-vaguely-downward]

The Set Up. Draco Malfoy x Reader

Request by @marvelrose - ok so like, many years after the battle of Hogwarts, after the death of Astoria, Draco was raising Scorpius alone. he never thought of making a girlfriend or marrying someone after her death, but when Scorpius grew up, he started to understand how lonely his father was and he really needed a motherly love. so he planned on setting his father a date with the reader who happened to be a teacher at Hogwarts. ps. draco and reader were in different houses and never really interacted with each other. sorry if it’s too long. I had this idea for a long time and I really love your writing soo

I really love getting requests so please keep them coming! I do have a few in my to-do list at the moment but I usually get round to them in two or so days! I just want to say thank you to each and every person who follows me, likes content, reads content, reblogs content, messages me… basically, anything you do I love you for it! 

ALSO SIDE NOTE I DO NOT KNOW EXACT DATES OF WHEN SCORPIUS WAS BORN OR WHEN ASTORIA DIED OKAY? SO BECAUSE OF THAT THERE IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE A FEW INACCURACIES SO FOR THIS FIC PLEASE JUST IMAGINE SCORPIUS WAS LIKE I DUNNO 3 WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED EVEN IF HE WASN’T OKAY? THANKS!!!!!

When he was younger Scorpius hadn’t really understood the effect his mother's death had had on his father. He understood the basic emotion of sadness but it wasn’t until he was older he realised that that sadness was filled with much more.

First, he noticed the denial, the way his father ignored the loss in his life, trying his best to carry on as if nothing had happened. From the denial, he could see the anger that hid in the sadness. This anger was at everything. He was angry at himself for being the one who lived, angry that she had left him on his own, angry at his son for reminding him every day of the wife he had lost. As he got just a bit older he saw how this sadness twisted and distorted into ugly forms of depression that loomed over his father every day.

While all of that was hidden in his dad’s emotion, there was something else that Scorpius noticed, something that surrounded all of these feelings, engulfing Draco’s heart every day. It was the same feeling Scorpius felt in the absence of a mother figure in his life.

It was loneliness. Draco had lost a part of him when his wife had died, much as Scorpius had but it was different. Scorpius was young, and while that loss would always be in his heart he had his whole life ahead of him, people that could help fill the loneliness would enter his life and help him through it all.

Draco didn’t have that luxury. He was at an age where you didn’t tend to start making new friends, he didn’t have many to start with either. When Draco’s wife passed, that was it, he was left with only his son around him.

In this time of loneliness, Draco had decided to put all of his efforts into his son, making sure that he had everything he needed, trying his best to provide both a father and mother role for him. He had neglected himself, his own needs, focusing all he had into making sure Scorpius was okay, and in doing this he had unconsciously decided that he would never find love again and would never look for it again.

Which is what brings us to now. Scorpius and Draco were spending a nice afternoon together shopping and chatting as they wandered through Diagon Alley. It was the summer break so the streets were busier than usual, meaning that as they walked every now and then they walked into someone.

“Oh Sorry,” Scorpius said as he knocked into someone as they passed Gringotts. Spinning around he noticed a familiar face smiling back.

“It’s quite alright Mr Malfoy, its a bit busy today.”

“Professor Y/L/N, it's weird seeing you outside of school,” Scorpius laughed. “Er Professor this is my dad. Dad, this is my herbology teacher,” Y/N stuck out her hand for her student's father to shake.

Draco noticed that she looked slightly familiar. While he couldn’t quite place where he knew her from, he couldn’t help but notice the sweetness in her smile, or the way the sun hitting her eyes caused a little sparkle.

“Draco right?”

“Er yeah…”

“I was in your year at Hogwarts, I wasn’t in your house so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t remember me,” she smiled.

“Oh no, I do remember. Y/L/N. Y/N right? You used to spend a lot of time with Longbottom in the herbology rooms?” He asked, his hand still shaking hers. It was only when she pulled away from that he realised he hadnt let go. 

“Yeah that was me, always had a fascination with plants and their abilities,” she had a soft voice one that Draco was pleased to hear. It was comforting to him, hearing someone talk so gently as though she was singing a lullaby to a baby.

Scorpius saw something in his father as he talked to his teacher, something he hadn’t seen before. Suddenly a light shone through the darkness that clouded him, a flash of something new… was it hope?

“Well it was lovely seeing you Mr Malfoy, and nice to properly meet you Draco,” she was about to leave when Scorpius noticed that little light in his father beginning to fade again. Quickly he blurted out,

“Why don’t you come for a drink with me and my father? Unless you have somewhere else to be, but I’m sure Dad would love to hear more about what Hogwarts is like now, especially seeing as you were both there at the same time,” Draco wasn’t quite sure what to make of his son's sudden interest in their conversation but he had to say he didn’t mind. It was a nice change for him to chat to someone that wasn’t his son.  

“Em yes, you should join us,” Draco smiled. Y/N looked a little confused, but smiled and nodded none the less. She enjoyed talking to the pair, it wasn’t something she would usually do by it was nice to be invited somewhere by people that weren’t fellow teachers.

They all went and sat in a small pub, surprisingly quiet in comparison to the bustling roads outside. Draco brought everyone a drink and the group sat down and continued the talk they had been having before outside.

Scorpius was surprised by how easily his father talked to the woman. Usually, his dad would shy away in conversations, find ways to leave them but when he spoke to the herbology teacher in front of him he seemed more at ease than he had in a long time. It was nice to see a genuine smile grace his father's lips for a change.

Draco had to admit, this was the first time in a long time he felt genuinely happy about talking to someone, the first time he had felt that that warmth in his chest, or the butterflies in his stomach since his wife had passed.

Scorpius saw this sparkle of joy in his dad's eyes and decided to give them some time alone.

“Hey, I just saw one of my friends from school go past, you don’t mind if I go and talk to them do you Dad?” He grinned. Nobody had walked past, well nobody who he knew anyway, but this was the first time he had seen his father show interest in anyone and wanted to see if something else would come of it. Draco wasn’t aware of what his son was planning so simply nodded, watching as his young boy ran out the door, his eyes following him as he dashed past the window and out of view.

“You have a very polite son Draco,” Y/N smiled. Draco turned back to face the woman on the other side of the table. Her smile was captivating, it made his heart feel full of light and joy. “He’s very bright too.”

“He gets that from his mother. I never really was one of the smart ones,” Draco chuckled, sipping at the drink in his hands.

“Well nobody was smart in comparison to Hermonine, that girl was incredibly intelligent.”

“Yes, that's true. So what's it like at Hogwarts these days?”

“Well, it was built back pretty similar to how it was when we were there,” she said, a hint of sadness in her tone. “Some places aren’t quite the same as they used to be, all my best hidding places seemed to have disappeared, like the one by the Hufflepuff common room, or the one at the end of the potions corridor, behind the p-”

“The painting of that guy on a horse?” Draco asked.

“Yeah, he always used to moan when I’d sit there but he’d never give up my hiding spot to anyone which was nice. You knew of that spot too?”

“Yeah, I used it in the older years. The man in the painting used to complain that I made his frame all greasy,” they both laughed at how even though they didn’t really know each other back then, they seemed to share a similar experience when they were there. “I hear McGonagall is still there, what is she likes these days?”

“Surprisingly chilled out, still terrifies me though. She was the only teacher I was actually scared of when I was there, everyone else I’d happily mess about but she use to terrify me. I think it was the stern look that she always had on her face.”

They continued to talk, happily remembering moments from when they were at Hogwarts, suprised by how much they had in common in those days. Both of them were so engrossed by each other that they failed to see as Scorpius, still on his own, as he crept past the window every now and then, checking in on them. He was pleased when he saw them both smiling and laughing with each other. It wasn’t until the sun began to set, and shops began to close their doors that Scorpius decided to return to his father.

“Hi Dad. Professor,” he smiled, sliding into the chair beside his dad. “Sorry I was gone a while, we went into some shops for a bit.”

“That's alright, we were just talking about what Hogwarts was like when we were there,” Draco said turning to face his son. When their eyes met, Scorpius could see how the sadness that usually sat in his dad's eyes had faded, replaced by something far happier. “Well it's getting darker now, I suppose we should really get going.”

“Yes, me too,” Y/N smiled. Both she and Draco felt a small sadness as they walked out of the pub. Both of them had enjoyed each others company rather a lot. Draco was about to wish her goodnight when his son, the menacing child that he was, chimed in once more.

“Why don’t you join us for dinner some time? We never have anyone over, Dad’s great at cooking as long as its basic food but it tastes great, I’d love to hear about Hogwarts from when Dad was there.” A sly grin was on his face.

Just as Y/N was about to protest, she couldn’t possibly inconvenience them like that when Draco noticed the sly grin on his sons face. He knew what was going on, and while usually, he would have nothing to do with romantic schemes he had to admit to himself that maybe his son was right about this one.

“He’s right,” Draco smiled. “It would be lovely to have someone else around for dinner, and I’m sure you have lots to tell him about what it used to be like, and you can tell me all the mischief he’s gotten himself into this year.” Y/N smiled, causing the butterflies in Draco's stomach to erupt once again. She nodded, so Draco gave her address and arranged for her to come round in a couple of days time. He gently placed a kiss on her cheek before she left, wishing her goodnight as he watched her walk away.

“I know what you’re doing Scorpius,” Draco stated, turning to walk the other way with his son. Scorpius gathered his dad would work it out, so simply replied with a cheeky,

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about father,” a massive grin plastered on his face as they made their way home.

Draco had not been looking for love, he hadn’t thought it would ever find him again, but just because he wasn’t looking for it does not mean it was not found on that day.