sometimesigobykate

[sometimesigobykate]

two years later i’m still alive, living in a different country and attending a different conservatory. i have a job playing opera for the summer and i’m preparing for graduate school in another year.

in case anyone still reads this, i am now part of a wonderful feminist collective and am in charge of communications, which means i’m very active on our tumblr here. i might be active on this one too in the coming year, who knows.

i recently discovered this tumblr earlier this week, remembering some comfort it brought me in a very turbulent time of my life. somehow the summers always bring uncertainty for me, for i’m back in a similar place--awake in the middle of the night wondering about misunderstandings and estranged relationships. life never really stops, does it.

[sometimesigobykate]

[sometimesigobykate]

at Woodstock, Vermont

[sometimesigobykate]

[sometimesigobykate]

person: I got this really cool internship/job. What are you doing this summer?

me: the best I can

[sometimesigobykate]

cities this summer:

Chicago -> Cleveland -> Dayton -> Hudson -> Indianapolis -> Chicago -> Milwaukee -> Montréal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sometimesigobykate]

yesterday my father yelled at me for having something written on my wrist. he thought it was a tattoo, and threatened to throw me out of the house if it was.

this makes me want to go out this weekend and get the tattoo i’ve been thinking about for a couple of years since, honestly, there’s probably nothing i’d like better right now than being “thrown out” or their house. :)

it’s been almost two years since i stayed with them for more than a couple days at a time. i move up to Montréal for good in a few weeks, but until then i’m stuck at their home. 

it reminds me of the feeling that always accompanied me in high school: constantly feeling small and like i can’t be myself. i remember never wanting to show much emotion because i knew it would somehow get me in trouble.

being here makes me feel like i’m that silent kid in high school again, which is not a good feeling.

can’t wait to start a new life in Montréal. it’s gonna be sick and i’m never coming back here~

[sometimesigobykate]

sometimes arpeggios are the best medicine.

[sometimesigobykate]

[sometimesigobykate]

I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

T.S. Eliot

[sometimesigobykate]

“Frida on white bench”, New York, 1939

Frida Kahlo photographed by Nickolas Muray

[sometimesigobykate]

[sometimesigobykate]

Chicago, I hate you for this snow, but it IS beautiful.

[sometimesigobykate]

Album : EP " Paris is burning " , ( 2007 ) I've been out walking I don't do too much talking these days These days... These days I simply think a lot About t...

[sometimesigobykate]

Allie and I found the best little library today.

[sometimesigobykate]

[sometimesigobykate]

She was left alone. She was glad to be alone. She had no wish to talk.

Virginia Woolf, from Complete Works (via violentwavesofemotion)