#also I can't do my actual job but what's Really important is how it impacts my dark matter posts

[jourke-rourke]

some assorted insights I have gained from analyzing the wanted posters shown at various points throughout the show: (this is gonna be mega-long as i am allergic to concision. to be fair I did issue a clear warning about inflicting text posts on everybody)

from episode 1. One and Three are listed as having the same height and weight (both 6'0" and 210 pounds).

who do they think they are kidding. I do not buy this for either of them

unless they weighed Boone while he was carrying multiple holstered guns. Which, y'know, maybe.

I can buy 6'1" and 210 pounds for Six, but uh. What's up with the race there?

African American? My man is not from Earth. He doesn't even know what planet America is on

ALSO Jones and Boone have the same NCIC number. This might be a mistake on the showrunners' part but I think a funnier interpretation is that the GA just never bothered to assign his fake persona a real number so they just copy-pasted Boone's

Alternatively maybe it is actually Jones' and there's a weird glitch in Boone's GA profile where it just displays other people's ID numbers. supporting evidence is this shot from S3 where he inexplicably has Ryo's ID number (while Portia doesn't get her number listed at all)

this is from the blink drive scientist in the past who downloaded the GA database. fun fact: since Portia is in prison clothes but Boone does not yet have terrorism added to his charge list, it seems that the scientist left for the past at some point during S2. neat!

Also both Boone and Portia have a note on their profile that says 'not permitted to carry weapons or firearms under any circumstances.'

yeah, good luck with that one.

getting into charges (these are all S1):

for some reason Jones is never charged with terrorism despite the fact that he is an undercover agent and they could literally charge him with anything they want, it's not like they'll have to prove it.

he was literally part of a terrorist cell and instrumental in bombing 10,000 people. why was he never charged with terrorism.

also can you imagine being the poor merc who gets knocked off the 10 most wanted list in favor of an undercover cop's secret identity created to fool like four people. your rep would never recover

Corso is the only one with a trafficking charge, which I assume refers to human trafficking. I'm gonna be real, I'm amazed Boone hasn't scored one of those by now, given that we see main universe Boone exactly twice and both times he immediately attempts to sell the first person he sees into slavery. maybe he's just never been successful but is really gunning for that so he can fill out the fifth charge slot on his most wanted poster with something cool.

Boone does get a kidnapping charge, which I'd wager is probably from his old crew, since 'snatch kids to blackmail parents' seems to be their M.O.

this one's from S2E11, 'wish I'd spaced you when I had the chance.'

They finally got Ryo's name right! It was still under Tetsudo when he was arrested so I assume when Misaki showed up she was like 'hey man you know that's not his name right?' and the GA folks updated it

Nyx just has theft, assault, and fraud charges, none of which seem to warrant imprisonment in the most maximum security facility in the galaxy, so I'm assuming she was sent there because she kept beating people up in min sec

Also, damn, Two is really racking up the charges. New extortion, kidnapping, armed robbery, and corporate espionage. Wow.

However, she has inexplicably been cleared of the piracy charge. Absolutely no idea what's going on there.

I'm assuming kidnapping is from when she snatched Tabor, and armed robbery is basically a normal Tuesday for them so whatever.

The corporate espionage and extortion could theoretically be old charges- the wanted posters list charges in descending severity, with violent crimes first, so it's possible they just got left off for space purposes

But I think corporate espionage is actually related to when they snuck into Dwarf Star to steal the nanites

Also, that's such a cool crime. Five would probably be wildly jealous if she knew Two had gotten an espionage charge. Five definitely deserves one with all the hacking she's done

theoretically Six and Three could also earn that charge since they did the same stuff as Two. We never find out if Six was charged with it.

I can't put subtitles on this or make it into an actual gif but the robot reads his list of charges as murder, assault, kidnapping, piracy, and terrorism.

Hey, he finally filled out that fifth slot on his wanted poster!

He might also have a corporate espionage charge (if so, lucky him) that the robot left off for concision (couldn't be me)

That said, the terrorism charge raises its own set of questions. Or mostly one question, which is 'why is he the only one who got charged with it'

Obviously it's from the white hole bomb, but why didn't Two or Four get charged with it? My best guess is maybe Three was visible on security footage somewhere, or in the memory stores of the male android if the GA got access to those? Or maybe just left his DNA at the scene since he got bloodied fighting the Android while the others (except Five) were elsewhere. God only knows and he has not deemed to share his secrets with me

and for a final note we're going back to lovely Five!

she's not on the 10 most wanted list but she does still get an actual wanted poster, so score

that said. uh. as previously established, crimes are supposedly listed in descending order of severity

so this shot implies that out of all the sketchy shit Das did, while illegally stowing away on a space station, hacking into restricted areas, and surviving through thievery and pickpocketing for literal years. of all the things she did.

the crime that the GA is most concerned about

is truancy

can you imagine being such a notorious criminal that you get your own actual wanted poster that cops all over the galaxy are expected to study and know your face. and the primary thing that you are charged with is truancy. if i was her I'd be pissed

'ah. yes. the most wanted criminals in the galaxy: mercenaries, murderers, space pirates, terrorists, and also this random teenager who hasn't shown up for class in like four years. we have got to get this terrifying criminal off the streets ASAP.'

anyways nobody at the GA appreciates Five's diversified criminal portfolio. charge her with espionage, cowards. she'll be thrilled.

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: Finding the right career

Hello :p

Today's reading is a career guidance, where we're going to look at your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to your career, what motivates you and the potential for growth to see what career would suit you the most.

This reading is meant for people who are wondering about what path to take, or those wishing to make a change. We'll also look at how you'll be able to tell it's indeed the right choice.

As always this is a general reading that may not apply to everyone 100%.

Note that if you like my reading style, I offer private readings. You can learn more about that in my pinned post.

Pile 1

Cards: 5 of Cups, 6 of Swords, Justice, the Lovers, 2 of Cups, 3 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, 5 of Swords, Knight of Swords, King of Wands, Knight of Wands, Ace of Swords, Knight of Cups, 6 of Wands

It seems you are not that driven by money, but rather, by a strong sense of righteousness. It seems you are well aware of the human pains and struggles. You know how fragile life can be, and you think it's important to do something meaningful, not only for you own sense of purpose, but also for the sake of others.

Really, where other would pursue careers for fame or money, for you it's just about following your truth and speak your mind and heart. There is a real quest for meaning and doing what's right and a relentless pursuit to leave what doesn't align with truth behind. Where other would just accept what's not fair as something that cannot be changed, you refuse to take that stance and strive for change.

However, I see that you have a hard time with social or collaborative jobs. You don't like mingling with people, a networking event is probably your own personal hell, and you'd rather work on your own without having to rely on anyone's opinion. Could be a problem in your line of work since it's showing up strongly in this reading. It's also possible that you tend to be very critical of those around you, because you see their flaws clearly, and it's stopping you from seeing the good in people.

You are motivated by the idea of building something worth marveling for. You want to create something that will inspire and educate those around you and have a long lasting impact on your community. You want to be seen as a reference, and even though you don't want to have other people put their nose in your work, you still want to contribute to humanity's knowledge with the results of your hard work. There is the idea of a common effort towards a greater goal.

However, for you it'll be important to develop some skills. The cards point at some inner work that have to do with putting yourself down, devaluing yourself by comparing yourself to others. It's a source of great despair for you and something you need to work on. People are not metrics, we are all different in one way or another and comparing yourself to others the way you're doing it is actually detrimental to the quality of your work, as well as your well-being. It's also possible that all the conflicts in the world affect your mental health a great deal, connected to what you witness in the world. It will be important to keep going and not burn yourself out.

There is a lot of raw potential for growth in the realm of ambition and leadership, which it seems you haven't fully embraced yet. You can be a figure of authority in your field, leading with your sharp mind and ambitious assertiveness. You have the potential to be a strong willed, determined professional that can't be stopped by anything and will tackle the most difficult project.

For these reasons, I think the career it's pointing at has to do with the realm of communicating ideas, perhaps writing, academia or journalism. You will be able to cut through lies and outdated ideas with your words, seeking to bring clear communication. There is again the idea of service made to others, led by your sense of purpose and thirst for truth. This career would put you in the public eye where you would be celebrated openly for your work and ideas. I see this pile as someone who investigates, either matters of the world, society, politics, economics or science. In all cases, it allows you to combine your cleverness, your empathy and ambitious nature.

Finally, you'll be able to tell it's the right path for you because it will ignite your passion. You won't be able to think of anything else but the task at hand, and what to do to achieve it. The greater the challenge, the more fiery your determination will be. It will definitely not be something you hesitate on and will feel like a calling.

Pile 2

Cards: the Emperor, Judgement, 2 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, 9 of Swords, King of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, the Hierophant Rx, the Tower, the Hanged Man, 3 of Cups, 8 of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, 9 of Wands, 7 of Swords

Your qualities when it comes to this career are about being a reliable figure in the life of those you help. The helping aspect comes up strongly as it will show in this reading, and basically it already show in your strengths. It's like you help people come to life again in some way. You are strong when it comes to leading the way towards transformation, and have a strong impact on people. They can sense they can come to you for support and you give a vibe of wisdom and order.

However, it seems that you are also quite inexperienced and this is making you hesitate quite a lot. There is probably a strong learning curve when it comes to this career and you're not quite there yet. You may be lacking something, whether its the status or the resources, in order to fully embody your qualities. So it seems your situation right now is a weakness, and that it's not so much coming from you.

What drives you is, again, the desire to help those in need, those in pain who don't know where to get help from, when it seems there is no way out or hope left. You see their pain clearly and it somehow motivates you and gives you a sense of purpose in life. You might be religious or spiritual in some way and this feeds your motivation to help and care, like some type of mission.

When it comes to skills you can to develop here, there is a need to remain detached in the face of adversity to not let it submerge you, perhaps to let go of your own fatalistic vision of life. There is a lot of talk around you, and perhaps you listen to the words of others too much and it's making you confused and directionless. You must get your mind in order and be firmly set into your own stability, by being pragmatic and protective of your own well-being. Stop listening to everything everyone says and remain grounded in your own judgement.

So all that is telling me that your career has to do with helping the sick, be they mentally or physically impaired. You show up as a very nurturing figure, someone who wish to see people thrive and get back to health, and I see you surrounded by people with bandages, or people who are disabled in one way or another (again for some of you it could be mentally or physically). Your future career may be nurse, rehabilitation or support worker, or even doctor of some kind.

It seems that for some of you, this career will be embraced after you've been somewhat forced by life to take a different turn, something you hadn't anticipated and shows up as a surprise. For others, it could simply mean that you will be surrounded by catastrophic accidents and unforeseen circumstances, and I'm picturing an emergency room when I'm writing this. Like, you will be forced to grow because the chaos surrounding you will call for someone to do something, and you've got what it takes to do so.

You will know this is the right path for you after contemplating your decision for a long time. You'll mull over your choices and options, and even discuss it with loved ones in order to make sure its the right one for you because you don't take it lightly as it will come with some type of sacrifice for your time and energy. Basically you'll need to dedicate yourself fully to this and you know this. But overall, once you're decided, you'll be very happy of your choice and eager to enjoy the good sides that comes with the job.

Pile 3

Cards: 8 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles, 3 of Swords, 9 of Wands, King of Cups, the Fool, the Star, the Empress, 10 of Swords rx, 2 of Swords, Death, 5 of Wands, Page of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, the Magician, Judgement, 7 of Cups

When it comes to your strengths, you're someone who can fuel themselves with the shit that life throws at them, never fully loosing their balance. You know how to get yourself out of tricky situation where you're blinded, and you're able to transmute your pains and power through the difficulties, never giving up even when it seems all odds are against you. What makes other abandon just make you angrier and more determined to succeed. You are extremely resilient and this gives you an outlook on life that anything is possible. If something doesn't work you discard it and move on to the next thing.

However, it seems you are sometimes too eager to try something new without committing to one thing for a long time. You're a Jack of all trades and it's hard to get you stay in the same spot for long. It's like, you keep wanting to try to see if this path is better than this one, or if this thing would be more exciting than this other thing, and so on. You emotions also tend to shift easily and influence the way you see things, it's like, you feel things so intensely it's overwhelming and that's just the way you function and it's hard to live differently.

When it comes to what drives you, you get a great sens of purpose coming from beauty and aesthetics, or even arts. The path towards beauty and pleasure, is the highroad to heaven for you. You are truly an aesthete at heart, and want nothing more than to honor what you find sublime in the world, as for you it is the purpose and the meaning of life.

When it comes to what skill you can develop, you got two cards signifying blockage and defeat, which makes me think this has a lot to do with overcoming you own issues surrounding your creative expression, which stem from your mind. It's like, nothing is really getting in your way but your own thoughts. You have trouble releasing your perceived failure so you're stopping yourself from trying anything different, fearing it will only confirm your loss. Perhaps that's the reason you keep switching things all the time, because can you really fail if you never tried until the very end?

There is a deep potential for growth though, and it has to do with the way your compare yourself to either other people, or to your own ideal self. It's like, you've got this image in your mind of what you should achieve and you're tormenting yourself for not being able to achieve it. What you don't understand it's that it's counter productive and that you have to put an end to this way of thinking. You need to break the pattern in order to be free.

All of this makes me think that your job has to do with some type of artistic or creative career where you bring ideas into the world, pulling them from a space unique and special to you. The idea of transforming things, putting values into question, bending rules is also quite important, as well as is the idea of communication to a larger audience. I will also add that you might not box yourself into just one type of creative expression, but rather  dabble into many different things. It seems you are  not so much passionate about one medium but rather as I said earlier by the pursuit of beauty in all its form, so I totally see you trying out different things and it seems that you'll be good at most of them naturally.

You will know it's the right path for you because it'll allow you to have a vision. It's like, you'll find a tiny window with a tiny opportunity and it'll ignite you mind, making you think about all that's possible in every different direction, and the legacy you could leave. It's really all about triggering your long term motivation and what will make you want to dedicate your life, or long time anyway, to. As we saw earlier, you have commitment issues regarding your creative pursuits so this will have to do with sticking to it in the long term, even if that means doing multiple things in parallel or taking breaks and coming back to things.

[peachjagiya]

How Layover taught me self confidence

Or Why Biasing Kim Taehyung is good for your mental wellbeing

-----------

So I'm not even a year into being into BTS. I'm toddler army, I think since April? This video of the Sirius performance of Butter came up on my tiktok randomly and I Just Wanted To Know Their Names and now I'm here.

I didn't immediately bias Tae. I actually attached immediately to Jimin. I also thought Suga was grumpy and there was something going on between Jimin and JK cos I watched the official content and fell for the narrative 😇 (I wouldn't say I'm a former jikooker though. It lasted like a week then I got weird vibes from it 🤷)

I'm really into jazz and swing so Tae wrecked my bias with Le Jazz De V.

Then it really got serious with Layover. Specifically these pictures:

See this outfit rewired my brain.

Here's the thing: I'm a big girl and I've been uncomfortable in my skin and clothes for a long time. I'm also gay and that comes with a lot of style related baggage too. Don't dress too masculine, everyone will think you're a man-hating lesbian. You're wearing a dress, you don't SEEM gay.

It made me hate my style. Trying to dress to hide my figure but not look too baggy. Trying to be feminine but not too feminine, trying not to wear anything too masc, trying to be stylish, trying a lot of things that never worked for me. I have no gender dysphoria but I never felt happy in my clothes.

Then I saw a literal idol wearing baggy jeans and tee and looking so stylish with it and a switch flipped. Maybe a slender South Korean man isn't where I'd imagine finding inspiration as a British bisexualish plus size lesbian but I suddenly felt like a style was accessible to me. The jewellery, the effortless slouch... I tried it out and it sounds dramatic but it was like a fashion euphoria. I liked how I looked for maybe the first time ever. My tummy hidden but I still looked good and like I'd made an effort.

His queer coding is so important to me too. It doesn't matter to me what he turns out to be. His promotion of queer artists, films and music, genderless expression and demonstrated support for queer community, will always be important in helping me feel seen and valued regardless of whether his participation is as a queer man or as an ally.

And he has made me more accepting of my own neurodivergence. I'm a mum to a six year old. I do the school run and cook and pay my mortgage with my boring communications job and I'm really into BTS. It's a bit of an eyebrow raise for a lot of people. I'm not into diagnosing strangers but Tae's relentless ability to be himself, no matter how weird the rest of the world thinks he is, and being a hugely popular idol when the world tells you you can't be a bit of a free-thinker and successful at the same time... That's important!

So yeah. The other guys have qualities that comfort me too but Taehyung has had a profound impact on things that needed fixing in my brain.

And that's why he's my best guy THE END ask me anything I'll talk about Taehyung for hours.

(I'm sorry I ever thought you were just a grump, Yoongi.)

Are these dungarees/overalls backwards btw?

[girlboss-enthusiast]

Please tell us how to get into IT without a degree! I have an interview for a small tech company this week and I’m going in as admin but as things expand I can bootstrap into a better role and I’d really appreciate knowing what skills are likely to be crucial for making that pivot.

Absolutely!! You'd be in a great position to switch to IT, since as an admin, you'd already have some familiarity with the systems and with the workplace in general. Moving between roles is easier in a smaller workplace, too.

So, this is a semi-brief guide to getting an entry-level position, for someone with zero IT experience. That position is almost always going to be help desk. You've probably heard a lot of shit about help desk, but I've always enjoyed it.

So, here we go! How to get into IT for beginners!

The most important thing on your resume will be

✨~🌟Certifications!!🌟~✨

Studying for certs can teach you a lot, especially if you're entirely new to the field. But they're also really important for getting interviews. Lots of jobs will require a cert or degree, and even if you have 5 years of experience doing exactly what the job description is, without one of those the ATS will shunt your resume into a black hole and neither HR or the IT manager will see it.

First, I recommend getting the CompTIA A+. This will teach you the basics of how the parts of a computer work together - hardware, software, how networking works, how operating systems work, troubleshooting skills, etc. If you don't have a specific area of IT you're interested in, this is REQUIRED. Even if you do, I suggest you get this cert just to get your foot in the door.

I recommend the CompTIA certs in general. They'll give you a good baseline and look good on your resume. I only got the A+ and the Network+, so can't speak for the other exams, but they weren't too tough.

If you're more into development or cybersecurity, check out these roadmaps. You'll still benefit from working help desk while pursuing one of those career paths.

The next most important thing is

🔥🔥Customer service & soft skills🔥🔥

Sorry about that.

I was hired for my first ever IT role on the strength of my interview. I definitely wasn't the only candidate with an A+, but I was the only one who knew how to handle customers (aka end-users). Which is, basically, be polite, make the end-user feel listened to, and don't make them feel stupid. It is ASTOUNDING how many IT people can't do that. I've worked with so many IT people who couldn't hide their scorn or impatience when dealing with non-tech-savvy coworkers.

Please note that you don't need to be a social butterfly or even that socially adept. I'm autistic and learned all my social skills by rote (I literally have flowcharts for social interactions), and I was still exceptional by IT standards.

Third thing, which is more for you than for your resume (although it helps):

🎇Do your own projects🎇

This is both the most and least important thing you can do for your IT career. Least important because this will have the smallest impact on your resume. Most important because this will help you learn (and figure out if IT is actually what you want to do).

The certs and interview might get you a job, but when it comes to doing your job well, hands-on experience is absolutely essential. Here are a few ideas for the complete beginner. Resources linked at the bottom.

Start using the command line. This is called Terminal on Mac and Linux. Use it for things as simple as navigating through file directories, opening apps, testing your connection, that kind of thing. The goal is to get used to using the command line, because you will use it professionally.

Build your own PC. This may sound really intimidating, but I swear it's easy! This is going to be cheaper than buying a prebuilt tower or gaming PC, and you'll learn a ton in the bargain.

Repair old PCs. If you don't want to or can't afford to build your own PC, look for cheap computers on Craiglist, secondhand stores, or elsewhere. I know a lot of universities will sell old technology for cheap. Try to buy a few and make a functioning computer out of parts, or just get one so you can feel comfortable working in the guts of a PC.

Learn Powershell or shell scripting. If you're comfortable with the command line already or just want to jump in the deep end, use scripts to automate tasks on your PC. I found this harder to do for myself than for work, because I mostly use my computer for web browsing. However, there are tons of projects out there for you to try!

Play around with a Raspberry Pi. These are mini-computers ranging from $15-$150+ and are great to experiment with. I've made a media server and a Pi hole (network-wide ad blocking) which were both fun and not too tough. If you're into torrenting, try making a seedbox!

Install Linux on your primary computer. I know, I know - I'm one of those people. But seriously, nothing will teach you more quickly than having to compile drivers through the command line so your Bluetooth headphones will work. Warning: this gets really annoying if you just want your computer to work. Dual-booting is advised.

If this sounds intimidating, that's totally normal. It is intimidating! You're going to have to do a ton of troubleshooting and things will almost never work properly on your first few projects. That is part of the fun!

Resources

Resources I've tried and liked are marked with an asterisk*

Professor Messor's Free A+ Training Course*

PC Building Simulator 2 (video game)

How to build a PC (video)

PC Part Picker (website)*

CompTIA A+ courses on Udemy

50 Basic Windows Commands with Examples*

Mac Terminal Commands Cheat Sheet

Powershell in a Month of Lunches (video series)

Getting Started with Linux (tutorial)* Note: this site is my favorite Linux resource, I highly recommend it.

Getting Started with Raspberry Pi

Raspberry Pi Projects for Beginners

/r/ITCareerQuestions*

Ask A Manager (advice blog on workplace etiquette and more)*

Reddit is helpful for tech questions in general. I have some other resources that involve sailing the seas; feel free to DM me or send an ask I can answer privately.

Tips

DO NOT work at an MSP. That stands for Managed Service Provider, and it's basically an IT department which companies contract to provide tech services. I recommend staying away from them. It's way better to work in an IT department where the end users are your coworkers, not your customers.

DO NOT trust remote entry-level IT jobs. At entry level, part of your job is schlepping around hardware and fixing PCs. A fully-remote position will almost definitely be a call center.

DO write a cover letter. YMMV on this, but every employer I've had has mentioned my cover letter as a reason to hire me.

DO ask your employer to pay for your certs. This applies only to people who either plan to move into IT in the same company, or are already in IT but want more certs.

DO NOT work anywhere without at least one woman in the department. My litmus test is two women, actually, but YMMV. If there is no woman in the department in 2024, and the department is more than 5 people, there is a reason why no women work there.

DO have patience with yourself and keep an open mind! Maybe this is just me, but if I can't do something right the first time, or if I don't love it right away, I get very discouraged. Remember that making mistakes is part of the process, and that IT is a huge field which ranges from UX design to hardware repair. There are tons of directions to go once you've got a little experience!

Disclaimer: this is based on my experience in my area of the US. Things may be different elsewhere, esp. outside of the US.

I hope this is helpful! Let me know if you have more questions!

[dr-spectre]

man i saw your last two posts and i wanted to tell you, you're not cringe, and you're not unlovable

i've had like, one full conversation with you going back and forth on both shared and unshared interests and it had a profound effect on me at the time

I need to unlearn shame, i need to be more open with what i fixate on and what i'm doing (and also the realization i'm definitely on some kind of spectrum), from one chat with someone *loud and proud* like you, how fucking crazy is that?

I hardly know you personally, but it's not hard to gauge how awesome you are, in face of your perceived faults, several of which i share myself, you yap so much but you're so genuine and passionate i and pretty much everyone who sticks here loves to read it, it never gets old, it never gets annoying

you put your whole pussy into innocuous little things about the subject matter, and it's a wonderful thing

you can find friends, you can find love, and you deserve both of those things

this is a little long but it's sentiments i've had for awhile now but no good opportunity to share......

I.... I..... WHA.

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T DROP THIS IN MY INBOX LIKE THAT!!!

LISTEN... ITS JUST.... I aint awesome!!! Im some 20 year old autistic dude who's too obsessed with a squid woman! How's that awesome!!?!?!? I haven't made an impact on anything... not on the community... not on inkipedia... not on anyone... I have 300 followers... that's nothing...

...or have i?!?! There's no way I could have had an impact on someone... hell even SEVERAL PEOPLE! I just overanalyse stuff that seems so cut and dry but... people are actually positive about my stuff? People say to me that I changed the way they see this important character to me.... BUT THERE'S NO WAY RIGHT?!?!? I still feel like a drop in the ocean. Just a spec of dust!!! I haven't made real change yet... OR HAVE I?! I DON'T KNOW!!! WAAAHHHH!!!

Maybe.... maybe if I have changed one person's perspective, then maybe it was worth it in the first place...

You know. I wanna say that the reason I came to tumblr was because my irl friends aren't into Splatoon and my family gives me a meh shoulder shrug to my interest. It was so difficult for me to explain Splatoon to my parents when Splatoon 3 came out and I picked up the game at launch! So I went here because I felt like it was the best place to express myself. And yeah I'm glad I stuck with it honestly.

I get why my irl friends aren't into Splatoon, they need to buy a multi hundred dollar console that's about to get replaced soon just to play 2 games. And trying to explain to them Nintendo Wii U and Switch emulation is just... I dont even wanna attempt that HAHAHAHA!!!! So I often felt lonely and it felt like I was screaming into a void when talking about Splatoon to them in a discord server. I guess that's where my sense of loneliness comes from.....

I genuinely have NO ONE in real life to talk to about my interests and have someone ACTUALLY listen. I guess that's why I feel cringe and not cool at all. My interests are so nerdy and I'm on the spectrum, my social skills are like D tier. I genuinely cannot talk about myself, i really cant. Its why i have never been in a romantic relationship before.... As a 20 year old dude, that shit fucking stings I'm not even gonna lie. I think about that shit every day. LITERALLY EVERY DAY I'M NOT LYING!!!!

But anyways, I'm getting way too personal on the internet. I don't wanna be some sad sap.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I'm not sure if I truly feel like I deserve love but. Thank you anyways. I guess it is a good quality to have that I can ramble and yap and become really focused on something, even if it's not adult things like... getting a job, paying taxes or whatever HAHAHAHA!

[nerdgirlnarrates]

So a fun thing that came up in therapy is how I have a lot of trouble believing that I can be in a long-term loving romantic relationship and how that relates to being told over and over that going into medicine would make me difficult to marry. There were other things about me that garnered this criticism (I was a weird kid growing up and had the typical weird kid experiences that make you believe you're unlovable), but it mostly revolved around wanting to go into medicine, and it mostly came from my parents. There was a lot of fretting over how men would struggle with a woman having such a demanding career and how they would be emasculated by my salary, etc. There was also fretting over how I should avoid ambitious men because it would make it even more difficult to balance careers, and this concern usually came with the message that the man's career is more important. Sometimes this was implicit, but sometimes it was explicit: at the beginning of med school, my mom told me I shouldn't date a classmate because "[their] career will come first." I once had a hypothetical discussion with my dad about what I would do if I had a disabled child who needed a parent at home, and his immediate response was "you can't ask a man to quit his job." Never mind the work you put in to your career, how much you like it, how your respective jobs impact household finances--you can't ask a man to quit his job. That's that. I was also asked repeatedly, and not just by my parents, if I would give up my job if my husband asked (no additional context was given, of course). When I said I wouldn't, I was accused of being unwilling to make any sacrifices in a relationship.

In retrospect, I think my parents thought they were preparing me for realistic relationship struggles. Obviously having a demanding job can create tension, and it created tension in their marriage when they both had demanding careers and small children. Ultimately my mom quit her job, for that and other reasons. But I think that decision was also due, in some part, to patriarchal assumptions about who should be at home and whose career matters. That assumption was passed along in the concerns they harbored about my career, and instead of making me feel prepared to deal with relationship stressors, I started believing I couldn't have a career and a marriage. I picked a career.

Medicine is deeply, deeply important to me, and it feels like part of who I am, and I can't imagine giving it up to be more appealing as a wife. I can't stop being someone who loves medicine and work. I don't want to be married for the sake of it or loved halfway; I want to be loved as what I am or I want to be alone. For years, it felt like I couldn't both want things and be married. To be married, I had to be ready to give up everything at the drop of a hat, throw out all my dreams and ambitions if someone asked. The context doesn't matter--I'm the woman, so I'm the one who quits. I'm the one who gives things up.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't stop wanting things: I want to be a physician and teach and work in sexual violence prevention for the rest of my life. I want to paint and write novels. And I don't want to give any of it up unless I absolutely have to. Worse, I want someone to actually like all those things about me rather than simply tolerate them. And I want to be seen as kind and smart and funny and interesting and attractive, and it's just too much. I want too much. I just don't think it's possible to want this much from life and from a partner. I've had some people tell me that what I want is fine and realistic, and I don't really believe them.

[rabarbarzcukrem]

Black Rose Musical save me

So they're starting with Mikage's backstory? Interesting

Actually, I wonder how they'll go about showing that Mamiya was Anthy all along

Mamiya doing that quick spin with Anthy, and then Utena with Tokiko...

I love the "Burn" song, it does a good job at setting the mood for this arc

Ok we're getting a reminder of Utena's story and what happened in the previous musical

I love the way Saionji tosses his hair lmao. Cunty. And how he runs away with that pathetic "UaUaAaaaa!!". he's such a loser

I like how these musicals really want us to associate "the princess was wrapped in the scent of roses" not necessarily with Dios, but with Anthy. She appears every time this line is sung

Ooooh even during the "on the previous episode" part, Mikage and Mamiya are already watching everything from the shadows

Btw, Mikage's voice sounds really similar to the original in my opinion

The parallels between Mamiya and Anthy are so clear, "if you say so, senpai" = "if utena-sama says so"

Akio being introduced so casually when it's obvious that he's super important to the plot also reflects how it happened in anime

Utena/Anthy and Mikage/Mamiya parallels..Mmmm delicious

I looooove how the whole cast is gradually presented (one relationship by one) and then at the end there's Akio with Anthy. Such an amazing way to show the way all these relationships connect and mirror each other

This musical's theme song being about light, mirrors and never letting go of something that might seem like an illusion...huh...

The scenes simultaneously happening on the stage impact each other - Akio is talking with Utena in the tower, but at the same time pushes Kozue towards Miki. Only a stage adaptation would be able to portray it this way

Wait....No kanae?? :((((

Holy shit Mikage's songs have such a creepy sound with the choirs in the background

(Also Mikage pushing Miki, imitating what Akio did to Kozue)

THE ROSE STABBING SCENE. Intense as hell

The contrast between Kozue entering her Dark Era and Wakaba whining about exams lol. Isn't that a perfect encapsulation of the spirit of RGU. The tragi-comedy of it all

The choreography !!

I wonder if there's any significance to the fact that when the cast is standing still singing zettai unmei mokushiroku, Anthy is copying the dance moves of the supporting dancers

The fact that Black Rose duelists have the same skills as the members of the student council showed by having both of them fight Utena at once?? Clever

Also, power of Dios possessing the sword showed by Dios literally fighting alongside Utena

Shame that Kozue didn't do that dramatic falling on the ground thing after her rose got pierced

The egg being called "a cage of freedom". That's a nice way to put it

Saionjeans appears!!

I love shiori already

I can't remember, does Shiori call herself a prodigal daughter in the anime too? Either way that's something I'll be thinking about for the next few days

They did the blood sucking scene 👀 while Shiori and Juri's gay shit was happening 👀

Shiori thinking Juri was reaching for the boy, when she was actually reaching towards her...

Akio walking with the same posture as Touga did... HMMM

They even managed to keep the water motif !

Shiori's horrified expression when she sees her picture...The actress is too good

SHIORI AND JURI FIGHTING SCENE

How did they manage to make them even gayer??

Shiori and Juri taking off each other's roses AAAH

I love that Nanami consistently breaks the fourth wall, it's a perfect thing for her character to do

Wakaba screaming after being stabbed was so heartbreaking...

Akio throwing away that hair clip in the exact same way Touga did with Saionji's exchange diary. Once again: HMMM

Wakaba singing the lines from the first musical about the book she'd read, but this time with her voice breaking, on the verge of crying. I can't stand this

Saionji and Wakaba both singing about a prince on a white horse - Saionji mocking Utena by this, Wakaba actually idealizing Saionji. God, it works so well

Wakaba's duel broke my heart. The actress is so good at capturing the desperation and sorrow in her voice

For the first time Akio is implied to actually have been the one to give Utena the ring...and the way he grabs the supporting dancer and shoves him to the ground. He gives off such sinister vibes

The friendship song is both hopeful and sad because it proves what Akio said - Wakaba had her moment of happiness and specialness but then she had to go back to her normal life of the supporting character. And also because of the fact that while Wakaba and Utena keep singing, Anthy had to go meet up with Akio.. So even though it's heart-warming to see them spend quality time together, none of them really understand what the others are going through

This killed me

"Do you have someone important to you?" And we see the duelists with their black rose counterparts

I almost feel like Mamiya in the flashbacks has slightly different mannerisms that the one in the present impersonated by Anthy.

Mamiya with the candlestick literally SITTING on the COFFIN

"Is (Saionji) going to waltz his ass back in here?" Lmaooo

Did I just imagine it or did Mikage slash Utena on her arm, similarly to how she injured his arm before the duel

Is "Imaginary living body" playing?!?!? Hell yeah!!!

Mikage actually seeing Dios helping Utena fight? Interesting! That's something I didn't expect

I loooove the curtain falling and revealing the projector. That's what I mean when I say that a stage adaptation brings the best out of this anime. There are so many fun visual things like this

I think this arc must have been incredibly difficult to pull off in this form, without being able to do quick cuts and transitions that could be shown in the anime. But they did such a good job! Actually, they kept surprising me with clever ways of adapting the themes of the show to fit this adaptation. I was constantly impressed

The last thing left to say is. PART 3 WHEN

[breakandbuildfiction]

Fictional Matriarchal Societies

Okay this is a bit of a weird one but am I the only one who has noticed that pretty much every Matriarchal society in fiction is objectively worse than first world Patriarchal or Neutral Gender Dominance societies both in fiction and in reality? Particularly when you compare them to other societies in their same universe, timeframe, and technological advancement?

To keep things simple I'm going to reference three of these societies to make my point. Angel 1 from Star Trek TNG, the Amazon Amazons from Percy Jackson, and the Amazons of Themyscira from DC Comics.

To get the obvious out of the way first, all three of these societies are far more sexist than modern Western and first-world societies in our real life.

In Angel 1 the men are incapable of being allowed to hold any office, join the military, or be actual citizens. They are not dissuaded or have to work harder for these jobs like how many women have to in the real world, they just straight up can't. This sexism is so severe that when a group of men-- many of whom admittingly aren't actually from Angel 1-- stand against this, they and all their supporters are set for execution and it requires outside powers threatening them to get the Matriarchal leaders to agree that banishment to a desolate part of their planet is a good downgrade for their punishment. This was a society that advanced enough to have Warp Travel and yet they hadn't even STARTED on equal gender rights yet. Also, their level of technological advancement is far lower than average for a space-faring species in Star Trek TNG. Meaning not only do they fail to advance socially at even close to the same rate as the originally Patriarchal societies of the Star Trek universe, even needing outside influence to get the ball rolling, they also MIGHT be advancing slower technologically as well.

Next up are the Amazon Amazons from Percy Jackson. They literally put collars on men and made them slaves. This happens in modern America and they say they do this to 'show men their place'. They side by side with a society that most deem Patriarchal but still gives women equal rights under the law, but still believe that their way is better and are pro-gender-based slavery. And remember that this group never does SHIT of any actual importance in the entire series. The best they do is act a pitstop and as a lore drop for one of the leaders of New Rome. They are objectively the weakest group that fall under the Greek Pantheon in Percy Jackson despite being one of if not the largest with no unique mystical or technological advantages to speak of. The Cyclopses of Atlantis, all of whom are male and basically have severe autism, are a more impactful accomplished group from what I can tell, and I don't think we've even heard of most of them since they helped attack Typhoon back in The Last Olympian.

Finally the most famous and in my opinion worst offenders on this list, the Themysciren Amazons from DC Comics. Even if you don't take into consideration things I know aren't canon anymore like how they repopulated via mass rape and murder before chucking male children into the ocean, there are still a LOT of things that showcase that they are terrible. Though admittingly some of these aren't fully their own fault.

To keep things brief I'll just highlight how they condemn men and 'Man's World' for the existence of wars, saying it is the fault of the nature of men and that it is the duty of Amazons to show them a better path. This viewpoint they are written to have ignores the fact that there have been women who declared and perpetuated wars before and the fact that the Amazons really have no place to talk about the subject because due to them living on Themyscira they never actually have to deal with the problems that cause wars to occur. Think about it, due to them living on an island protected by, hidden by, and blessed by the gods themselves the Amazons never have to deal with things like cultural friction, border disputes, resource scarcity, religious differences, or trade routes and deals. Hell, due to Hippolyta being immortal-- or depending on the continuity all of the Amazons being immortal-- even periods of succession and political upheaval are nonexistent to them! They condemn men for using violence to deal with these issues despite never having to deal with them themselves. And when they DO have the SLIGHTEST taste of ANY of these problems, their reaction is to kill people. Seriously, a man so much as washing up on their shores is grounds for execution, and in the semi-rare storyline of Diana bringing male heroes to the island to help save it, she is punished for allowing men to set foot on their island. They are objectively hypocrites who are just as if not more violent than men. And this sucks for them since outside of like, six of them they are all basically canon fodder who mostly exist to get their asses kicked and give Wonder Woman a reason to get pissed off. Remember, most of them aren't demigods and can't block bullets with their bracelets. They are just tall and fit women with spears and shields and low-level metahuman physical buffs.

((Note: A very big exception to that 'Amazons are fodder' statement is the Flashpoint continuity where the Amazons are keeping pace with all of Atlantis as the two destroy the whole world. Though I will be docking points from this example because it is a war that started because Wonder Woman fucked a married man and killed his pissed-off wife before presenting him with her severed head. Meaning she started it... Also, I'm pretty sure the Atlantians having a higher population, greater ability to reproduce, and their attempts to flood the Earth while Atlantis itself couldn't be directly attacked by the Amazons all comes together as a guaranteed long-term win for the Atlantians.))

Speaking of spears and shields, their level of technological advancement, though it does differ between writers and continuities, is almost always shown to be stuck roughly in the Roman era. And yes, I know that civilizations that are isolated or have an abundance of resources don't tend to technologically advance as quickly as others, but these women are TWO THOUSAND YEARS behind the curve! As in, they haven't advanced since the last members of the island were sent their from Men's World, meaning their advancements all came from MEN! And it's not like their mystical abilities make up for that! Can you name a prominent magic user from Themyscira? Because I sure as hell can't. The best I think there is is Circi and she ISN'T AN AMAZON! The best magic users in DC that aren't demons or gods or what have yous are probably Kent Nelson, Giovani Zatara (when he isn't dead), Zatanna Zatara, and John Constantine. That's 3/4 men.

In short the Themysciren Amazons are written to be self-righteous sexist jerks who believe that because they never had to deal with any real-world political or societal issues they are better than men outright.

I don't know if this is because these societies are rarely if ever the focus of a longer story or if it's a long-term oversight from the writers, but all these examples paint the picture that women being the majority rulers of societies makes things worse in the long term. No social advancement, cases of extreme social regression, slower or nonexistent technological advancement, weaker military forces, inability to have a significant impact on their respective greater settings, need I go on?

But enough of this. It's very late and I wrote this all out in a single go. If anyone wants to dispute this, please give me some examples of Matriarchal societies in fiction that aren't socially and/or technologically inept compared to their Patriarcal/Non-Single-Gender Dominated counterparts. I would honestly love to hear them.

[thundamoo]

Alright imma say it. I have nothing against Claude but Fire Emblem: Three Houses would have been a better game if the only routes were Edelgard, Dimitri, and maybe the Church. Hear me out. I love the story of Three Houses, but by far the biggest issue with the story is that it is really, really bad at actually telling itself. Nearly every main character is an unreliable narrator due to memory issues or active deception. Countless important plot details are hidden in random scraps of paper you pick up off the ground. Half of the Black Eagles route feels like it was chopped off before final release. And the actual real main villains that everyone should be working together to kill in order to solve all the plot's problems are barely characters at all and we know basically nothing about them other than all the asshole moves they've been pulling for the last thousand years.

But the story of Three Houses, in my eyes, is fundamentally about the harrowing consequences of trauma one the human psyche and the ways it perpetuates itself, as evidenced by the way the main routes always force you to sacrifice people that could have been your friends and allies, possibly even were your friends and allies. The game is completely uninterested in pulling punches about how messed up war is, and that's awesome! Nowhere is this more evident than in the duality of conflict between Edelgard and Dimitri, a tragedy caused by the scars of their pasts causing differences in perspective that, to their own minds, feel completely irreconcilable. There is absolutely no option for either of them to surrender in the games. In every route, one or both of them always dies.

That's messed up and sad, because they're both great characters, and that is the point. That's what gives Three Houses its emotional impact. If you pick Edelgard, you will have to slaughter Dimitri. If you don't, you will have to kill Edelgard.

...And Claude is also there. He's a great character, he has an interesting story (if one that reuses a lot of stuff) and the nation he represents adds a fair bit to the richness of the world, but he's not the third member of a trio, he's a third wheel. He can function as an enemy or ally to either of the other two because he's not ideologically invested in either the power of nobles or the power of the church, so he mostly just kinda goes off and does his own thing. There's nothing wrong with his story, but it doesn't contribute much to the greater narrative of three houses as a whole the way Edelgard and Dimitri's dynamic does, or the way the Church does. It feels almost tacked-on, like a DLC that made it into the main game.

Three Houses, of course, doesn't do a fantastic job at presenting a holistic theme to its narrative in general, but it's just so very close to it that I can't help but wonder what could have been made if the development assets were used to make Fire Emblem: Two Houses instead.

[aita-blorbos]

WIBTA for getting revenge against the person that ruined my life?

I (36M) am (still am, losing your job doesn't get rid of a persons PHD) a scientist that specializes in theoretical physics and studies of the multiverse. Until around a year and a half ago I had a job at a prestigious science facility, where I designed a device that would transport anything from other dimensions to ours (we had to set it off a little bit ahead of schedule, but overall, I'd say I did a good job with the timeframe I was given!).

This is where a person I'll call SM comes in.

One of the tests I ran on the device involved bringing a radioactive spider from another dimension to ours, but unfortunately, it escaped and bit him, which resulted in him gaining amazing powers, and becoming a superhero (he killed the spider right after it bit him, BTW.) (just thought I should bring that up.) (really stellar guy, takes important moments in his life REAL seriously.) (I don't think text is doing a good job conveying how sarcastic I am being right now, so to clarify: I AM BEING REALLY SARCASTIC.).

My first face-to-face meeting with SM was brief, but impactful. It happened when he and another important-but-not-so-relevant-to-the-story-guy broke in to my (ex) workplace a day before we were going to set off the device for real, all so that they could steal top secret information from us....And a bagel?! Which SM actually used as a projectile to HIT ME WITH (what kind of person DOES THAT? And with so much unnecessary force, too!)

Then, a day later, he blew up my invention WHILE I WAS STILL IN THE ROOM. I wasn't even one of the people fighting him, all I was trying to do was grab a canister of the dark energy my device was generating, but he didn't care at all that I was there!

Because of him blowing up that machine, I was turned in to...Something else. I don't have a face anymore, and my entire body is covered with these holes. Things fall through them all the time, and it leads to all sorts of embarrassing accidents that always cause people to laugh at me.

Not only that, but by doing this, he also made me lose my job, which was practically my entire life. I look so grotesque, my own family won't even LOOK AT ME, and I can't even get a new job to support myself because of the way my condition makes me look!

So that means by the time SM and I finally met again, I was so dangerously low on funds, I had to resort to a life of crime! I decided to jumpstart it by robbing an ATM machine because that's pretty harmless and easy, isn't it? I mean, it's a machine, nobody loses anything from me taking from one of those, besides for the bank, but who cares about them? They steal from people all the time! I'd hardly say it's a villainous act to take from them, except for the fact that robbery is illegal. Anyway, the shopkeeper assaulted me for trying to steal from the ATM machine.

Maybe I should have seen that one coming.

...Eh, whatever.

It only gets worse from here, because then, out of nowhere, SM shows up, makes fun of me, and then cuts me off while I tried explaining to him who I am and why I should matter to him, just so he could read a text. Which is just unbelievably rude, and tbqh, pretty unheroic!

He spent the rest of what was SUPPOSED to be our epic battle on his phone, texting some person. This fight was meant to be a huge deal for both of us, and he didn't take it seriously at all, he barely even bothered to look at me for a majority of it. At one point, he even webbed me up and left in the middle!

Our fight did eventually resume, and midbattle he told some police officer that I was just a "villain of the week", while I was RIGHT THERE!

Eventually, the fight brought as all the way back to the site of the accident, right where our connection first formed. This was finally a point where I had the chance to tell him everything, what I did for him, what he did to me! And even after all that, he still treated me like a JOKE!

I got really mad at that point, which came back to bite me pretty quickly. As in, I accidentally kicked myself in to one of my own holes (like I said before, I have a lot of holes, they go places, one hole took my foot to my own butt, and I fell in to another hole).

But on the bright side, this resulted in me finding out that I'm a transdimensional superbeing. Which gave me an epiphany! I finally know what I want to do now, and how I'm going to do it. There's a lot of science involved, multiversal travel, stuff like that. But the basic idea is that I'm getting payback. The way I see it, he took everything from me, so why shouldn't I get to take everything from him? It makes sense, right? Because of him, I have nothing, so why should he have anything? It's only fair!

So, as long as everything goes according to plan, by the time I'm done, he shouldn't have anything left, and then he'll finally learn to respect me.

....Wow, this came out way longer than I thought it would.

Here's a tl;dr!:

SM ruined my life, WIBTA if I ruined his in return?

[soaps-mohawk]

Okay, I'm a little anxious, because I've never written an ask before, but I felt the need to say this so here we go!

First of, I'm more than amazed with your work and I can't even begin to explain how much joy every chapter brings me. Even if they're angsty, they're so so so good. I don't know when was the last time I was so invested in a fic.

Secondly, I really wanted to thank you for your work, because there is so much to be said about every detail about the story and characters. I've seen that some people don't enjoy the way the omega is written and I'm sorry that they don't get her character. But I love her so so much. It makes me happy to see a character whose trauma isn't brushed off, and we all can see how it impacts her daily life, which is so important.

Yes! People go through awful things, and they aren't okay after! Let her work through it!

(I was so proud of her for remembering what John told her while she ran into the woods)

But really it brings so much comfort to me, especially when we see the interactions between the omega and our boys. The fact that they make her feel human made me break into tears. There is so much validation for all kinds of emotions and I would be lying if I said I wasn't kicking my feet in joy through it all. It makes me so happy when we see them taking care of each other. It's the fact that as I went further and further into the story, my own mind went 'wow, I think I'd be able to turn my brain off around them' and that doesn't happen a lot.

Just seeing the way how loving Kyle is, how understanding John is, Johnny 😭😭 he's just perfect and Simon! They're all caring in their own ways and I live for that, because it makes me feel like yeah, sometimes we're scared or feel silly about being upset, but it's okay, that's just a part of being human.

Ah, I'm sorry for rambling so much 😅, but I just really needed to tell you how amazing you are! 🧡🧡🧡

Aww no need to be anxious, I promise I don't bite. I'm actually quite anxious myself so I get it.

Awwwww thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you've been enjoying it, that honestly makes me so happy. I know I say it a lot but I do mean it. It truly keeps me happy and motivated to keep going. It also makes me happy to see so many people supporting 'mega and the way she's written. That also keeps me going. I mean, I'd keep her character the way it is regardless but still.

She's worked through so much and while she still has a ways to go, she's grown so much and I just love it and I'm so proud of my sweet baby 'mega.

She really did a good job there and the guys are going to be so proud of her for that.

I just really want to be taken care of and supported so badly and honestly it's bled a lot into this fic but there's a lot of me that's bled into this fic and 'mega. They'd be so soft and supportive and honestly I think a hug from each of them would fix a part of me.

They really are the best boys. They all love 'mega in their own way and it's so touching to see the softness and the caring side of them with their girl.

Ugh I could go on and on about it.

Don't worry about rambling!! I love it so much 💚

[thesorcererpoet]

While I don't want too give too many details, I have been really "going through it" lately. When I face times like these, I often turn to my spirituality. It is the one tool I have that helps me above all else, when facing difficulties in life. I can't begin to express how much it has helped me over the years, how it has spurred me on to overcome seemingly impossible situations.

Anyway, lately my mental health has been taking a big turn for the worse. I am going through a great deal of change and some of what has happened as a result has left me pretty shattered. I have become very negative and it's having an impact on both my job and on the spiritual work that I do for others.

My spiritual work is really important to me. I have always striven to help people where I can. I make a point of giving generously of my time, giving explanations of techniques, showing people to good and useful books they might not have heard of, spending time talking about what other people are experiencing spiritually, particularly spiritual emergencies, such as what I feel like I am facing now.

A spiritual emergency is usually something that leads to a big break through, even sometimes big enlightenment experiences. This stuff is not easy and a lot of the time, it comes up for some people, spiritually inclined or not, after life throws some difficult circumstances at them. (Such as the death of a loved one, the shattering of an illusion, sudden sickness, job loss, loss of purpose, heartbreak etc).

Now, usually I am capable of helping myself but I'm going to be honest, lately I have been in very deep. Thankfully, I live with a fellow spiritual practitioner, which is actually how we initially met. My partner @saganssorcery has been my absolute rock these last few days in particular.

Yesterday, I was almost at the peak of my utter despair in many ways. I have made some serious mistakes at work, and I am struggling a lot with getting along with others. I am also dealing with a great deal of financial and personal difficulties in the world. I have lost a lot of friends and have found myself outcasted by people I really loved. I want to give the reason but I don't feel that's necessarily appropriate, I guess all I can say is that I was languishing in a very bad situation for many years in a relationship with someone I desperately wanted to escape. I finally did it and a lot of people have been less than supportive, others outright cruel. Sagan is literally the only person who has ever helped me with this, it was through her that I finally managed to get out.

So yesterday and last night, Sagan sat with me teaching me things, something I have done for many others over the years and for the first time, something someone did for me. She went through a self empowerment mantra that works by going up the tree of life saying seven good things about yourself, 10 times per sphere, then once for each chakra and then once to the universe or heaven. This was literally designed to reprogram the negative pathways in my brain to change how I feel so I can continue to be capable of supporting us, and of doing my important spiritual work.

The other thing she did, was sit me down and do the most in depth tarot reading I have ever had. First of all, 11 cards, one for each sephirot on the tree of life, explaining in depth the combination of the card and its effect on the sphere. Then she followed through with placing all of the cards down for each of the 22 paths and read through each, including the two connected sephirot, and the path itself. It worked like a mirror of my soul, at this very moment I am in now. It took her a good couple of hours to go through it all in detail. I suppose it helps that I know tarot very well so we can communicate a lot quicker about this stuff, but yeah, I have never felt so seen in all of my life. It was almost like she was a doctor, diagnosing the spiritual sickness in me and prescribing the cure, or more to the point, showing me where to look. The answers were not simple but this definitely served to reveal to me things I had never had the chance of expressing. I cannot tell you all how profoundly grateful I am. Anyway, I have urged her to offer this work to others because, even though it is a hell of a lot of work, I do really strongly feel she can help others with it.

Check out the full list of Sagan's services

[anonzentimes]

Chiaki to me is kind of an odd character in that I think she actually has good potential, especially in possible interactions with Nagito (seriously, Komanami is probably the ONLY really great Chiaki ship in my eyes). I've seen some great fanfics that play around with her. Especially ones that explore a Despair!Chiaki. But canon just...doesn't really do a great job with her.

In fact I actually find her role kind of detrimental, in that it almost vindicates elements of Nagito's worldview. With her being an angelic embodiment of hope. Which is just...not a very healthy way to present a character in my eyes.

To go back to that stuff about Despair!Chiaki, a really neat interaction that a writer friend is considering implementing into an AU is her and Nagito talking after being rehabilitated. And her admitting that the embodiment of hope he was desperate for was something she could never be. Chiaki says something like "I guess...I'm sorry I could only ever be a girl, Nagito.". To which he responds "...And I'm sorry that wasn't enough for me."

hmm, If I'm very honest I don't ship any mlw ships with Nagito lol! It's mostly because I think the idea of Junko finding a gay man who's lonely, terminally ill, traumatized, and desperate for someone to love him, then exploiting and warping his affection, one of the only things that remains healthy about him, warping it to where he can't understand his own sexuality anymore is pretty brutal. Nagito loving despair is something he can accept, but loving Junko is so fundamentally mind boggling that he goes spiraling when he thinks about it. The idea of Junko convincing a gay man he loves her and robbing an important part of himself from him is super interesting. Also just him never really showing any interest in a woman but showing interest in hajime and Izuru gives that impression. But don't let me discourage you that's just my opinion! His sexuality is not confirmed in any way and that is my interpretation. Just wanted to touch upon that to give insight on what I think just in case it makes me sound too biased at any point in this discussion.

I think making Chiaki real and using her again plot wise to use the same strong suit of her character, empathy, can be seen as a little clumsy. Although I do thoroughly enjoy the fact that Hajime heard her advice but only truly understood it in Danganronpa 2 after she was gone. It's really tragic and I enjoy that Ai Chiaki and Real life Chiaki are indeed different. It's a little indecent but I enjoy the story of the franchise overall.

If I'm honest I think a lot of things about hope's peak in general are detrimental to Nagito because his world view is specifically influenced by Hope's peak. Nagito believes Chiaki is an "embodiment of hope" for the class and likes her status and impact on everyone. Junko sees her the same way and wants to crush that so called hope to create despair for the class! I think that all makes sense and is decently done considering the characters and world. It's important to remember hope is practically absolute good, and Chiaki was just an absolutely good person to the class and when that's lost it creates despair. Even those who she wasn't really That close with, like Nagito, respected her and her impact a lot! Enough to be devastated and have the brainwashing work more.

Chiaki serves a purpose and I think criticism with the fact that she mostly is there to be the support role and impact for everyone else is absolutely valid. My only personal criticism is I'd like to have seen the different ways the class cared for Chiaki, basically just how close each person individually was with her. I'd like to have seen more of their hangouts to know that, but I understand it's an anime recapping a story with limited time. They spend episodes expressing how much they all cared but not how personally close they were, so the fact all of them cared so much isn't entirely sold for a lot of people including me at first. You kind of have to infer a lot which is a little sad? It's for a lack of words a missed opportunity I think.

Fanfics do a really good job at showing those things the anime misses about real life Chiaki, and honestly overall I'd say Chiaki is most often well characterized in fanfics! I think a despair Chiaki is an interesting idea too like you said, you'd have to explain how they became despairs without her though. But fanfics are all about being creative and it's an au in the first place so I'm sure people can figure it out and have fun! All of it is interesting fun ideas and I'm glad you and your writer friend are having fun and enjoy the ship.

I do think the dialogue they've come up with is pretty interesting and a cool approach to an au like that. "...And I'm sorry that wasn't enough for me," feels a little odd for him to say to me at least? I mean, I definitely don't know the direction or the entirety of the work that led to that interaction though of course, and I think it's definitely interesting dialogue, but for Nagito to say that feels a little off for me personally. Like, I think after rehabilitation supposedly it would go something like the Dangan Islands where he learns Hope was inside him all along through spending time with Hajime.

"You provoked the hope that was already inside all of our hearts Chiaki, and for that I am grateful. We all fell to despair, but the hope always wins, Right?" or something like that feels better to me personally but I'm just being silly and don't know the full context anyway

Thank you for your ask, please let me know if I misinterpreted anything you said and didn't respond accordingly, It was nice reading somebody else's take on things and trying to respond with mine as respectfully as I could <3

[fightabear]

okay i just got home from atlantic entertainment expo and i need to share the highlight of my con. also hi @amtrax i cannot believe you found me here

so! last year i started tabling at conventions. last year's Atlantic Entertainment Expo was my first one ever. i absolutely love doing this and getting to meet fellow creatives, and i try to make it a point to create something for creators & actors whose work really impacted me as a way of giving back. and like it feels like (to me, this is not reflective of reality but the imposter syndrome) giving a teacher a stick figure drawing they're just going to put on the fridge. but it's the smallest way to show appreciation for the work they've done that's made my life better.

the second i heard that austin lee matthews, motorcycle master of midgar himself, was coming to one of my local conventions up here in the ass end of canada, i was excited. immediately knew i had to make something special because roche was one of my very favorite things about remake and i'll quote his big bombastic speech patterns when i'm trying to psyche myself up to deal with difficult clients at the day job.

so i make my little roche charms, set one aside and keep it on me, and go about my con weekend - and end up being so busy i can't slip away. i check his table a few times when its slow but i keep missing him, so i just resolve to get it to him tomorrow or send one of my friends.

and an important part of this story is i am terrible with recognizing people from photographs. like... once i actually meet someone in person that information is locked and loaded but i don't remember faces from photo promos.

(i have a story where i didn't recognize adam croasdell who stopped by to talk to me during setup last year, which was my first year of doing cons & i was so busy trying to get everything set up and i didn't recognize him because i was so deep in 'oh god what am i doing' and that is going to haunt me)

near to the end of the day i'm working on a client's commission and someone comes up to my table and waits incredibly patiently as i'm trying to muddle through some EOD burnout. sometimes people just come up and watch me draw so it can be kind of hard to tell if someone's just vibing or waiting for my attention (and my helper had disappeared into the ether so i was Very Whelmed) so when i finally turn, incredibly apologetic and awkward because oh god they were so patient and were waiting way too long, this guy is still beaming. i'm just like! i'm so sorry, is there anything i can help you with? and he just grins and says,

"oh i just wanted to come by and say," and then immediately drops into the roche voice, "HELLO MY FRIEND!"

AND WHEN I TELL YOU I LOSE IT. i immediately apologize to the client because i just need to give this man the thing i made, so i grab the charm and offer it and just start gushing. we get to chat a little bit - i don't even remember i was just so excited - but i have a client waiting. so i assume he's going to disappear into the crowd because - this is taking so much time.

but austin just stands there as i finish the commission... which takes longer than planned! i don't even know how long he was there. he's super supportive the entire time, making comments about my art, and when the commission is done and the client leaves.

so! he buys a vincent charm and then shows me the adorable promptis print he bought from another table and is just like a goddamn ray of sunshine the entire time. he also tipped which he absolutely did not need to do. again - incredibly enthusiastic and excited just to be there and be around fellow fans. it made my entire weekend. we get to talk a little more before i text my next one to let them know i'm ready for them.

i didn't get nearly as much time as i wanted to because man if someone every radiated golden retriever best friend energy, it's austin. literally everyone i spoke to who interacted with him was so taken.

he stopped by again near the end of the day yesterday when i had a line again so i didn't get to talk, but then he dropped that he'd found my tumblr (i'm sure my face was a perfect mask of horror, i pretend to be a professional artist & adult on twitter and here is where i radiate my feral rat gremlin energy) and i am going to finish the extra surprise i was working on and add more to it because - sincerely - made my convention and turned what could have been a very stressful situation into a wonderful memory. my literal only regret is that i forgot my ultimanias at home (along with half of my setup, crying into my hands) because i wanted to get those signed.

Austin, i will bring my awkward ass to your dms once i've recovered from con crunch, but sincerely if you are ever on PEI or get the hankering to go during the summer season, please hit me up. my family has a little cottage by the beach (not to be confused with a cabin in the woods) that is welcome and free for friends to use (in the least parasocial way possible, welcome to the island. after like two good conversations with someone you're buddies). i love the island, i love sharing what i love about it, and i hope this weekend made it clear that the island loves you.

( also if you ever have any art needs that require... whatever in the hell my style is please know i am here )

my god. i cannot emphasize how much i love doing conventions. the vibes, the excitement, all of the connections. realizing people are getting to be regulars and i recognize them from con to con and i get to ask them about how their year was while i draw and get to celebrate the good and try to offer whatever i can to balance out the bad.

my heart is so full right now.

also!! if anyone is still reading this rambling post, please check out @palletteknife. this isn't final fantasy related i am just absolutely obsessed with their work and spent like all sunday showing people this fantastic carrie charm they made ITS SO CUTE AND HORRIFYING AND THE STYLE IS AMAZING

[themightymoose]

It'ssss Vinnie angst time! Again. It's always Vinnie angst time. Yeah.

Today's topic is his dancing. Oh, I love take it away from him. Like, we all agree he's just straight up not good at it, right? He's clumsy, he hurts himself while dancing, makes messes, stuff like that. But he also undeniably loves it, I mean have you seen how often he does that and might I add happily so? Yeah. He loves it. And he's bad at it. A delightfully angsty scenario practically writes itself.

The way I see it, at one point it would really hit him that he's not good at it, he's not going to get paid for dancing, he's not going to make it his job, and he's not going to dazzle anyone ith his dancing. To make it have big impact let's say he fails in an important moment. Maybe he's finally performing in front of properly big audience. And it goes horribly. He used to fantasize being able to dance with so many eyes on him and he's finally doing it! Except that in his fantazies he performed with no mistakes and got such applause, and in reality...

It was one thing when six people or so who he knew saw him trip and fall, mess up his moves etc, but this time at least hundred of people saw it let's say. He didn't mess up once, oh no, he messed up multiple times and in a very visible way. He tried to act like all those falls were part of it but... in the end he couldn't really. Maybe he even got boo'd at. Either way he failed spectacularly and that was the moment he really realized that this is not going to work. Sure, you could say he could have just kept trying, practice makes perfect after all, right? But he had been dancing for as long as he can remember, and he's always made all those mistakes! If he didn't stop making them during all that time then what are the chances he will now...?

That is it for him, his first big proper performance and he failed completely. Mind you, he does try still dancing after that, but he can never quite muster the enthusiasm anymore. Dancing used to be fun even if he tripped and fell, it used to make him happy regardless because it was fun and he thought with enough practice he could make it work but... apparently he can't. So he dances less and less until there is none. He just can't find the energy to even try, after all what's the point if he has not improved in years...? What's the point if he's not even good at it and it doesn't bring him happiness anymore?

So he just gives up. Not only that but he feels like he has wasted so many years trying to master something he can't even do semi-correctly apparently. His depression (of course) mixed with this only worsens. Or perhaps that's how it starts? Oh well, the point it, the boy is not dancing anymore, not in front of bigger audiences, not in front of smaller audiences, not even when he's alone. He doesn't see the point and he's too tired to do it. He knows others expect him to dance and he would fall and they would laugh. So he tried at first. But after a while he just can't force himself to.

Do his friends/partners (if we're talking polypets or any other ship really) know? Idk, it could go both ways. Maybe they're aware of that monumental performance so once they notice he doesn't really dance anymore they connect the dots. Or maybe they're completely unaware for one reason or the other. Maybe at first they don't even notice he doesn't really seem to dance anymore. Maybe if they ask he makes excuses. One thing is for sure for Vinnie, that shit got him really depressed and like he should reevaluate his entire life. There's no catharsis, I don't want him to somehow get hat he wants when it comes to dancing. I want him to fall apart.

Hurray :D! Burn, baby, burn.

Forgot this was in my inbox for a couple hours oops-

Anyways damn poor Vin-Vin :( imagine how crushing it would be to have the sudden realization that the thing you love most, that you have centered your life around, that you are actually horrible at it. That no matter what you do or no matter how hard you try, it always falls flat.

And imagine how much worse it would be in front of a crowd, what if it was in front if people he admired. Maybe a famous dancer or choreographer has come to watch him. Can you believe it? Him! Out of all the things his idol could've been doing, they chose to watch him! Vinnie had to make it count

... which is what he tries to do, but to many things go wrong at once, leaving people unimpressed. Vinnie takes one last glance at his idol, his inspiration... all they do is shake their head disapprovingly. Vinnie wastes no time running off that stage and down the street as fast as he can. He swiftly opens the door and slams it shut, ignoring everyone trying to greet him and asking how his performance went. Vinnie books it to his room and slams his door before locking it.

Let's just say Vinnie cried himself to sleep that night

[cartooncartoonpanic]

#006 Sins of the past

You approached Princess Morbucks and her friends...friends probably isn't the right term considering she was yelling at the boy and didn't seem to know the girl. It was entirely possible that they had only met today. Of course you did wonder how such a passionate argument could have broken out between strangers.

"You should know exactly how serious I am about this, Dexter. There's a huge vaccum in the market for villains right now since Mojo disappeared, and since I'm so generous I'll even fund your evil schemes." As always, Princess is pretentious and demanding. No surprises there. You do listen closely though, since you want to know exactly where Mojo might have disappeared to. It's possible that Blossom didn't tell you the entire truth

"I've already told you. I don't do that anymore. I broke off our contract for a reason" The guy in the lab coat, supposedly named Dexter, now speaks. He speaks in a thick accent though you can still tell he's upset. He has curly red hair and wears headphones though you can't tell if they're playing any music

Princess: "Didn't you used to be in a rivalry with Mandark? He's the top ranking right now?"

Dexter: "That's not my problem anymore"

Princess: "So you're just letting him be better than you?"

Dexter: "I already hurt someone important to me once, I don't want to risk it again"

Princess: "What, is this all because you fell in love with a Powerpuff girl?"

Dexter: "It's more-"

Princess: " I saw Blossom here and she hasn't said a word to you, so clearly she doesn't feel the same~"

Dexter: "That's not-wait, isn't that the reason you quit too?"

Princess: "Literally shut up right now"

Dexter: "Because I recall reading a tabloid magazine about how Bubbles left you because you che-"

Princess: "ENOUGH!"

All 3 of you were silent and just stared at her until you spoke.

"Wait, who's Mandark again?" The black haired girl looks like she's about to say answer you but then changes her mind. Princess speaks instead because of her need to dominate any given conversation.

"Oh...you're here. Greeeeeeeat". Of course she doesn't like you. Your last interaction ended with you and your brothers refusing to let her join you. But you were also like, 5. She still seemed petty though.

"Of course you wouldn't know someone that famous. Is it because you were never a real villain? But anyway he's like...mad scientist guy. Reads a lot of nerd shit but actually makes it kind of cool. It's called like...cloud rock or whatever"

"It's called steampunk...For someone acting like she's the grand authority of villainy, you really need to do more research. Anyway I saw him here earlier. He has like black hair, and some stupid cape"

"Oh uh-" You remember that description exactly fits the guy who you just punched. Thinking about it further, a future supervillain interning on whatever weird project had them kidnapped made a lot of sense.

"I may have taken him out...Didn't kill him but uhhh" You showed your now stained gloves, expecting a freakout but they seemed almost uncomfortably calm. The black haired girl looked as if she wanted to say something but realized she probably shouldn't. The guy in the lab coat seemed to smirk a bit. Princess, as always, looked annoyed.

"So...if whatever villain contract you were talking about is open, you should probably be offering it to me, if anyone" You weren't sure if it was something you actually wanted...but job security sounds nice. Even with someone as annoying as her.

"Yeah that's...never gonna happen. If a hero just wants to rely on physical strength and powers that's one thing. But villains have to be smarter. And you...I don't think you have that. Sure, your dad was a real villain. Regardless of my personal feelings I can't deny Mojo's impact. But you and your brothers...you were just a scheme. A means to take down the Powerpuff girls. And that's all you'll EVER be"

Rage flashes through you again but unlike last time you hold back, though your gaze is terrifying. She knows enough about you to know that you can shoot lasers out of your eyes.