#also BLONDE WIG PEEPERS LOOK AT HIM

[bugisbonkerz]

have some more. he’s all i can draw today

[johnnymundano]

Delirium (1987) (AKA Le foto di Gioia)

Directed by Lamberto Bava

Screenplay by Gianfranco Clerici and Daniele Stroppa

Story by Luciano Martino

Music by Simon Boswell

Country: Italy

Running Time: 93 minutes

CAST

Serena Grandi as Gloria

Daria Nicolodi as Evelyn

Vanni Corbellini as Tony

David Brandon as Roberto

George Eastman as Alex

Katrine Michelsen as Kim

Karl Zinny as Mark

Lino Salemme as Inspector Corsi

Sabrina Salerno as Sabrina

Capucine as Flora

delirium /dɪˈlɪrɪəm/ noun 1) an acutely disturbed state of mind characterized by restlessness, illusions, and incoherence, occurring in intoxication, fever, and other disorders. 2) a 1987 Italian giallo erotic horror film directed by Lamberto Bava characterized by illusions, incoherence, boobs and dismal 1980s pop “star” Sabrina being stung to death while buck nekkid except for a very poor bee mask.

(Guilt Belch: The print of Delirium I streamed was atrocious. So I have had to nick pics off IMDB. Thanks, Prime.)

Delirium is a terrible but worryingly enjoyable (very) late entry in the Italian giallo cycle. It is also a frighteningly prophetic movie. While it retains enough of the hallmarks of its Italian genre forbears to remain identifiably a giallo, Delirium also clearly points to the forthcoming cultural nightmare of the American cable TV style “erotic thrillers” of the 1990s, which in retrospect were neither erotic nor thrilling. These dismal American exercises in coy peekaboo tedium all starred Shannon Tweed and were about as erotic as sorting the recycling in the rain. They possessed plots so featureless they might in fact all have been the same movie, just edited differently and given a different title (Animal Longings, Nocturnal Emissions, Nocturnal Longings, Animal Emissions, Nocturnal Animals, oh wait…).  I don’t know much about them beyond that because I was busy playing Quake and they were, well, dull; Delirium is anything but dull. Delirium is ridiculous, misogynistic, stupid, and on at least two occasions astoundingly Guinness Book of Records level nuts, but it is rarely ever dull. Delirium is either better than you think or worse than you think, or both. Whatever, it’s definitely something.

Gloria (Serena Grandi; chesty) is an ex-“glamour” model who has used the money from her husband’s recent death to empower herself by moving into publishing. In a strikingly feminist move Gloria has chosen to publish the same kind of glossy booberama she used to appear in; it’s called Pussycat, because classy never goes out of fashion. Her next door neighbour is Mark (Karl Zinny; overwrought), a young man confined to a wheelchair after a car accident in which his fiancé died. He peeps on the Pussycat photoshoots Gloria stages poolside, and frequently rings Gloria up to tell her how hard she makes him and how much he wants to “invade her flower”, because contrary to reports romance isn’t dead. Kim (Katrine Michelsen; expendable), Gloria’s friend is, however, very dead; stabbed by a pitchfork in front of Mark’s creepy peepers. Gloria thinks Mark’s having her on since no body is found, but then photos arrive showing Kim’s corpse posed in front of a blown up photo of Gloria’s chest, and when Kim herself turns up in a skip Inspector Corsi (Lino Salemme; macho) is called in to look virile and get everything wrong.

Delirium being a giallo first and a cinematic spank mag second, the dead bodies accumulate faster than the glimpses of skin, and almost as fast as the red herrings. Basically, the race is on to unmask the killer before everybody in the movie is dead. Mark saw the killer had long blonde hair so is the killer Gloria’s blonde haired assistant Evelyn (Daria Nicolodi; too good for this)? But Kim was posed in front of an old photoshoot only Roberto (David Brandon; again, too good for this) has access to, so it must be him right? Yet Roberto claims the negatives were stolen, so maybe it’s Flora (Capucine; think an evil Sybil Danning) who is trying to wrest the magazine from Gloria, who Flora feels owes her one since she saved Gloria and her brother from “the street”. Or maybe it’s Gloria’s brother Tony (Vanni Corbellini) who can’t get it up for ‘80s pop footnote Sabrina? Gloria bumps into an old flame, Alex (George Eastman; rugged), who can get it up, as we see in a scene where he humps Gloria’s thigh in the bath while she shakes about a bit, but Alex proves elusive after his comeback hump so maybe it’s him? There are so many suspects I even forgot to mention Mark, but then he can’t walk, so it can’t be him. Or can he, so can it? Or something?

Delirium’s mystery is enjoyably daft, and despite the flat lighting, terrible music and capable but unadventurous direction you will find yourself trying to guess who the killer is, as though you are watching something that actually might make sense. This is the fundamental magic of giallo; it tramples the boundaries of sanity so enchantingly that to not go along with it would leave you feeling like a sour faced party pooper. Delirium is trash, yes; but it’s magnificently, unapologetically trashy. Now, you can either take my word on that and watch the movie and have your mind blown harder than a sailor on shore leave, or you can read on where there be SPOILERS for the twin trash highpoints of Delirium.

For connoisseurs of the bizarre there are two great reasons to watch Delirium, and no, that’s not a set up for a very poor joke about the physical talents of the well upholstered star Serena Grandi. At one point Kim, smoking by a swimming pool, without any whiff of warning, inexplicably and suddenly has a face like a giant eyeball in a wig. The fact she is promptly pitchforked to death is just the icing on the, uh, eyeball. (Eventually you figure out that this eyeball faced lady is what the killer sees in the grip of their…(ta dah!) delirium, but I’m pretty sure the movie never explicitly explains it. Which is either lazy or brave; you decide.) This scene alone is all kinds of amazing, so much so that I feared Delirium had peaked early (like Tony; Boom! Boom!), but luckily even the pitchfork murder of an eyeball faced woman is not ridiculous enough for Delirium. No, Delirium also has a scene where 1980s pop warbler Sabrina is stung to death by bees in her own apartment while wearing only an unconvincing bee mask. This latter scene goes on at eye glazing length. It’s sobering to realise how quickly the human mind can become bored by the sight of a 1980s pop shouter being stung to death while wearing only a very poor bee mask. Unless of course you have a fetish for 1980s pop nonentities being stung to death while wearing only a very poor bee mask, in which case you might want to marry this movie. I’m certainly not judging you; it’s a big world. And Delirium is big, guilty fun.

[ultravioart]

1) yes! she's the mastermind anime villain to woy's goofy looney tunage 2) FOR REAL?? That is hilarious I had no idea And LOL... yeah I am contemplating ideas bc I REALLY want Peepers to get a proper punk disguise... let him embrace the inner goth/punk nerd vibe instead of being a Spirit Halloween Prep lol. A black wig makes more sense for the cheerfit imo, but I bet it was decided as blonde because yellow fits Hater's theme and also Hater likes blondes LOL. I'm guessing the cheerfit must have been from a pile of stage costumes because I can totally see watchdogs dressed up as cheerleaders and doing cheer acts to cheer on Lord Hater: "H-A-T-E-R Who's the number one superstar? Lord! Lord Hater! Lord-Lord! Lord Hater, woo!"

For the au I imagined Peepers would use some fancy spytech contact lens to cover his iris to avoid retina scanner detection. The contact would also act as a physical mask, hiding his identity/making his iris look different and unrecognizable as "Peepers". A spy watchdog in "The It" used contacts as spy gear, so it seems like a fitting spy gadget for a mission like this. And since Peepers is wearing his 1/8th inch a day taller boots that Wander made lol, I think he may pass as a slightly petite watchdog instead of a very short "obviously Commander Peepers" watchdog. I also doubt Dominator would expect Mr. "Cartoon Napolean Complex" to ditch his tall helmet willingly, so seeing a watchdog in a wig that claims to have defected from the Hater empire is... sus. but not obviously Peepers at first glance. Or at least, I would assume so? More au stuff below:

(And I know Dominator basically gets caught by the WoY Space Cop "star force enforcement force" in the first episode of s3 based on Q&A, but I have no idea what SFEF look like beyond possibly being 3 characters, and maybe similar to Kid Cosmic's Earth Force Enforcement Force. So I'll just pretend that arc doesn't happen yet... lol... Let's just say she gets stranded on some deserted planet when her travel bubble pops instead.) In the Dominion au Peepers sets out to meet with Dominator before she fully rebuilds, so he has a chance to bribe her into agreeing to a team up. I imagined a really silly scene of CPeeps landing on the planet Dominator was stranded on to make contact with her. Dom's newly claimed area is a post-apocalyptic small town, nature overgrowing, but still desolate. --- Peepers walks out with his cheerfit disguise on (+ his helmet on), but as he sneaks towards her area of operations, he spots a large "DORKS WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT" poster with pictures of Wander, Sylvia, Hater, and Peepers. Peepers slowly looks up at his helmet's GIANT lightning bolt, wondering if it may be a bit too obvious. ......................Nah! A tumbleweed rolls behind him, and he notices it gets stuck on a little dead tree, creating his perfect silhouette (Peepers+tall helmet). and not a millisecond later: BAM!!!!!!! the shrub gets SUDDENLY stopped to death, LASERED, and mass obliterated with a GIANT explosion from patrolling Dom bots, no pause, no chill, 100% maximum carnage. Peepers stares at the forming giant mushroom cloud as it rips. He gets all deflated taking off his helmet, and walks back to his ship, hopelessly muttering to himself: "Well there goes the last of my dignity..." --- lol Since Dom doesn't have her tech/backups anymore, she has to go off of her own memory to rebuild. Interplanetary communications are down but she managed to make electric powered Dom bots from scraps for protection and labor. They have basic salvaged scanners and laser weapons, but they run on batteries/janky engines and tend to be more unreliable than the previous Volcanium X powered Dombots. Her area is cleared of major vegetation to avoid allergies, as she is allergic to the flower that regrew the galaxy. Peepers presents himself to the bots, makes his pitch to Dominator through coms, and manages to get past the bot's crappy scanners/voice recognition, which identify him as a stranger. He then is escorted by the bots to meet Dom, who is busy repairing a ship. She is desperately trying to get it up and running again so she can get off planet and rebuild properly. She knows she can't use a watchdog as a hostage since lmafo the Hater empire literally does not care, but she is curious about what this weird defecting watchdog is all about. More TBD scenes happen and eventually Dom would agree to team up for the moment and after a bit they vibe enough that she gives Peepers a makeover, giving him the punk/goth outfit. (Mostly to rid of any bugs/spy coms, but when she finds none she's like :o oh this watchdog is for real for real stupid... maybe the story is legit.) The two could break into an abandoned shop to get Peepers a new look. Or maybe they fix the ship, fly to that city planet from "the night out", and rob a shop for valuables and clothes and have an evil bestie makeover montage with lots of stick ups and crime lol. I can image that city planet may be building back up by the time Peepers teams up with Dominator, and a seedy underbelly is always ripe for the Dominating. Still idk, I just REALLy want to keep that (stares at a giant explosion) scene with Peepers bc LOL it's very funny to me. That scene comes across better in animatic/comic format tho, i WILL draw it out one day.

you know what. i know dominator is 1) not one to fall for ur typical dumbass cartoony antics she is physically incapable of such and 2) she canonically stalked all of the other 4 mains for like a year or sometihng, SO SHE IS DEEPLY FAMILIAR.. WITH WHAT THOSE DORKS LOOK LIKE AND WHAT THEY SPEND THEIR TIME DOING WHEN THEY BREACH CONTAINMENT  but also. also. she’s a forgetful asF adhd kween who pretty much NEVER interacted with peepers (aside from that 1 time she bitchslapped him and he Died) so .  you know what. i think she honest to god would NOT recognize him in a decent disguise for at least… a good several minutes.. and then maybe if she DOEs  recognize him she’s just like idc i’m bored and this is myfavoritedorkybrandof entertaimnent…..  i will just go with this. also LMAO

[evenstevensranked]

#45: Season 2, Episode 13 - “A Very Scary Story”

Annnnd, we’re back! Let the countdown resume. I know y’all remember this one. How could you not?! It’s THE ICONIC HALLOWEEN EPISODE!!! Lawrence Jr. High is holding free eye examinations on Halloween. But, instead of being legit eye exams, students are getting their eyes BURNED OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS?!

It opens with Ren seemingly home alone the night before Halloween watching some knock off of “Psycho.” I like this bit. She yells at the TV, “Honey, you’re getting chased by 6 mutants and you’re just deciding to take a shower?!” — Seriously, though. People in horror films make the dumbest decisions. I think the fake movie footage is hilarious.

Just then, the phone rings. Naturally. And now we get a knock off of “Scream” lol. Whoever’s calling distorts their voice and says “Do you like penguins, Ren? MAHAHAH!” and hangs up. I wonder who that could be. (Sarcasm) Ren is walking around holding a skillet as a weapon which is kinda funny. She looks so uncoordinated with it. Turns out it was just Louis calling from inside the house. Shocking. He comes jumping out at her making what’s supposed to be a “penguin” noise, I guess. I really don’t know. He kinda sounds like Doodlebob, honestly. Obviously, Ren screams and Louis has the audacity to ask “Ren, why are you so jumpy?!?!" I love this line and the way Shia says it. I use it a lot, lol. He claims he just wanted to show her his penguin jockey costume. The costume itself is a true a stroke of genius. But, I’m sure there was a less serial killer way to go about the reveal, lol. This episode definitely gets iconic points for that costume, though. People have gone as penguin jockeys because of Louis: x / x ...Incredible. 

Ren is seriously a wet blanket here. She refers to Halloween as “childish dress up games.” What da heck?! Lighten up. You’re like, 14. I embarrassingly went as Hannah Montana for Halloween freshman year of high school, 2007. Bad idea. But just because I have tan skin and wore a blonde wig, everyone thought I was supposed to be Beyoncé. I constantly had to correct people. I WAS HANNAH MONTANA, DANG FLABBIT!!! The struggle. 

Ren tells Louis that his costume isn’t going to scare anyone. I never thought it was intended to be scary in the first place??? Either way, Donnie comes walking in and Louis makes some more Doodlebob noises at him and Donnie runs away screaming “AHHH! PENGUIN!” Wow. I’m only mentioning this because I read a little trivia that Donnie originally walks in holding a basketball, but when they cut back to him he’s suddenly holding what looks like an inflatable toucan or something?! What?! How do you forget that Donnie was holding a basketball one second and then hand him an inflatable toucan the next?! I do not understand. 

“Wait, what was Donnie the Sports Jock just holding?! It was probably a basketball or something because that makes sense. But, I can’t remember. HERE! Take this INFLATABLE TOUCAN!” ?!?! - Probably the actual thought process that resulted in this ridiculousness. 

At school the next day, we see that LJH takes Halloween VERY SERIOUSLY. Stuff like this gave me unrealistic expectations. If you wore a costume to school growing up, you were a weirdo and people judged you. Not here! They have some intense decorations and the entire school is dressed up! Well, everyone except for Ren — who’s in a freaking pencil skirt and blazer, walking around making sure everyone gets an eye exam.

This school is more ~lit~ than most actual Halloween parties.

We find out that Louis and the gang are planning a prank for the cafeteria: Putting fake eyeballs in the turkey gravy. Yum. Louis shows them the fake eyeballs he bought and says he just got them in overnight from Chico. It’s a small detail but I like that he mentions Chico. The city is also brought up in an earlier episode. I always laugh when Tom tells Louis “I need to get my eyes examined.” Louis says “YOUR EYES EXAMI— Tom, how many fingers am I holding up?!” And Tom has to squint at the fingers RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE in order to give the correct answer. 

“.......Two.” // “Exactly. Your eyes are fine.”

Okay, long story short: Basically, anyone who goes in for an eye exam comes out acting like a robot. Students are walking around with sunglasses on and are suddenly obsessed with drinking milk and following the rules. Tom is the first victim of Louis’ crew. He says “I suddenly got quite a hankering for the Moo Juice. It’s an excellent source of calcium for overall skeletal health.” I FEEL LIKE THAT LINE IS ENGRAINED INTO MY MIND FOREVER! Tom bails on the cafe prank and says “If something like this were to go on our permanent records, it would follow us for the rest of our lives.” THIS LINE NEVER LEFT MY BRAIN EITHER. I feel like this episode was actually Disney propaganda or something, brainwashing us into drinking milk and being good students. Not even gonna lie, when I was young this episode made me crave milk... and I hated milk. *X-Files theme song plays in the distance.*

Tawny and Twitty both get their eyes checked and start saying the same robotic nonsense Tom did. Louis is having none of it, though. He yells “TAKE OFF THE STUPID GLASSES!” and we get one of the most terrifying moments of our childhood...

This is still so disturbing. Show producers Sean McNamara and David Brookwell wrote this episode. I seriously want to track them down and make them explain what gave them the bright idea to traumatize children in this way?!

The classic Louis Scream kicks into full gear here. (see first image of the post) I’m laughing because I just noticed that as he runs away, he whips the butt of the penguin like “giddy up!” as if he’s actually racing on it… Oh my god. As he’s running he shouts “NO ONE’S TAKIN’ MY PEEPERS!” which I always kinda liked, haha.

Louis ends up spying on one of the “eye exams” and the process is revealed! Wexler and Tugnut zap the kids’ eyes and do in fact brainwash them with the milk and permanent record mumbo jumbo. Great. 

Louis is now the only student who hasn’t had an eye exam. Wexler, Tugnut and the whole school are going after him. He calls home in a panic asking for Steve and Eileen to come pick him up before conveniently hiding out in the Penguin bathroom.

His family shows up within like, 10 seconds. Teleportation is the only explanation for this. Louis goes to get his stuff before leaving... but OH NO! Wexler and Tugnut greet Donnie, Steve and Eileen and make them go in for eye exams. This always made me soooo angry as a kid. I felt Louis’ sheer horror and helplessness here tbh. Just then, Ren pops out of nowhere and Louis explains the whole situation to her. She acts like she has no idea what he’s talking about, but all of the robot students start chasing them so she helps him find a place to hide.

“Safe?! For how long, Ren? How long before those eyeless, sunglass-wearing, milk-slurping zombies get in here?!” - ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THE WALKING DEAD. “DON’T OPEN. DEAD INSIDE.” 

Ren leaves Louis alone to see if the coast is clear. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Does she not see the horde of zombie students through the windows?! Regardless, Wexler and Tugnut appear and take Louis down to the school’s newly renovated torture-chic basement. (Louis: “When did the school get a dungeon?” Wexler: “Actually it’s an evil lair.”) 

Ren was the ringleader this whole time. She comes walking out looking like THIS and Wexler and Tugnut refer to her as “mistress.” Okay, this is a little creepy now...

Louis looks at the wall and says “R.E.N.....? That’s gotta stand for something.” - I clearly remember laughing at this line when I was little for some reason omg. 

Ren explains that they’re going to turn everyone into “Renplicates” (actual Ren clones) because the world would be a better place if everyone just followed the rules. Okay, maybe that’s true. But, you don’t need to morph everyone into cloNES OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY!!! Seriously... whaaaa?! lol. Around here Ren says “Tugnut! Turn on the juice!” which Jim Wise recently admitted was an innuendo line that the crew laughed at off camera. Adult jokes on kids shows sort of creep me out though, ngl. 

Anyway, everyone -- including their parents, step into the Renplicator and transform into Ren. 

Everyone except... Louis.

HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL?!?! I never liked thisssssss.

That’s where the story ends. THANK GOD! Turns out it was just Louis telling Beans a scary story. “Beans, you wanted to know what happened last Halloween. So, I told you!” To which Beans responds: 

One of the only Beans lines I like. (x)

And that’s it! There’s a bit at the very end where Beans tries to get away with trick-or-treating at the Stevens house several times by wearing a bunch of different costumes. Donnie answers the door every time and says things like “That’s cute, kid!” and “Haven’t I see you here before already?” IT’S CLEARLY FREAKING BEANS! 

I never understood this. I know Donnie’s dumb but he knows who Beans is. They should’ve just had a random kid do this scene. Using Beans makes NO SENSE. Also, he already raids their kitchen all the time as it is. He doesn’t need to go “undercover” to get candy from the Stevens house, lol. 

That’s the Halloween episode guys! Strangely, not as funny as I remember. Still a classic, though... obviously. I was originally going to rank it in the #30s, solely for the iconic value.. but, when I was deciding on what to put for #45 I just had to put this one here. It’s a “special” episode. So it’s difficult to rank it any higher than this since it’s just a fun one-off, silly, seasonally appropriate episode. Nothing furthers the overall arc of the series here, lol. That’s not the case for all “special” episodes... But, this one sticks out like a sore thumb in comparison to the other 64.  

Did it scar you for life as a kid?! I have to say that this episode and “Don’t Look Under The Bed” (which Larry Beale/Ty Hodges starred in!!!) literally scared the living crap out of me. Apparently DLUTB has actually been banned?! Whoa. To this day, I’m still afraid of some demon boogyman hand grabbing at my ankle...

Thanks for reading! Chime in below. 

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