#also . the different stuffed animals as gifts. . . .makes me insane.. . .

[whatthefuckisasweep]

he was so real for this (from the ep Happy Holidays)

[ashisgreedy]

Garreth's Gareer AU HCs

Written By @finalgirllx and @greedyforgarreth simultaneously.

Headcannon's of Garreth Weasley in different careers! 

(These start out serious but we became delirious over time writing this. They devolve into… well, you will see.)

This was not edited. Cheers!

Baker

"Weasley's Confections"

He comes home smelling like sugar every day

He always has flour or frosting in his hair

He'd always bring home a sweet for you

He'd write your names on the little sweets

He's always brainstorming new cake-decorating ideas

He'd always try out new flavor combinations, leading to a very messy kitchen!

He has his own frosting line

during the holidays he has you come and assist him in helping customers in his little shop

During Christmas, you and he dress up as Mr. and Mrs. Claus to decorate cookies with kids

He holds a cake-baking class every once in a while for the community

Chef

He’s a personal caterer, with a small team

He puts on a little show as he cooks for small parties

He has signature dishes he makes that are unique to his catering business

He definitely has a roster of corny jokes for the occasion 

His favorite clients are small bachelorette parties and groups of older ladies because he loves how energetic they are and they laugh at his corny jokes.

Unbuttons his chefs coat throughout the evening for bachelorette parties 

“I'm having a pasta-tively great time”

He would have a volunteer come up for silly demonstrations - how to crack an egg

He hosts his own booth at food festivals to help market is personal business 

Zookeeper 

Robert Irwin vibes - Always educating people on animals

He loves helping with the petting zoos! 

Passionate about preservation of the species and holds educational classes for nearby schools. 

His favorite animal would be an iguana 

He definitely gives away stuffed animals from the gift shop! 

Wears a khaki uniform at all times in the zoo

When he’s not in that - he’s in animal patterns and Hawaiian shirts.

As a side hobby, he surfs to raise money for ocean animals

He’d definitely buy environmentally friendly items at all times

Airline pilot 

Mile high club a million times

Has dated all the stewardesses

Has a mask kink.

Falls asleep almost immediately after the plane takes off

“GARRETH! THE PLANE HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER!” 

Yoga Instructor

Holds instructional classes for business people during their lunch hour.

He’s insanely flexible, and shows it off

Knows his butt gets a lot of attendees

He wears silly headbands

Specializes in Hot Yoga classes

Would have the corniest playlist

His best friend Leander is the Zumba instructor 

He also teaches the occasional water aerobics 

Takes his yoga knowledge into the bedroom 

Wedding planner (morally corrupt)

Really pays attention to the needs of the fiancees…wink

Makes sure to attach his personal cell phone..wink

“Does he know what colors you’d like for the wedding? Or does he not listen to you as well as I could…” wink

Turns cake tasting erotic, feeding the fiancee a cake bite in front of her fiance… wink

He helps put the garter on the bride, slowly… wink

He offers you private dance lessons before the big day…wink 

Ruins your dress before the husband gets the chance…wink 

Shows you the ring he would have gotten for you instead (It’s much better).

Actually listens to you (unlike your fiance)...wink 

Firefighter 

You met when he carried you out of a burning building..sexily 

He saves your kitten and gives it an oxygen mask until it’s lively again.

He pushes you out of the way of a falling burning ceiling 

He lets you wear his helmet to calm you down. (He tells you how silly you look and it helps)

He single-handedly prevented a train collision and explosion in the center of the city 

Sexy arms, covered in soot, and he takes off his jacket and you lick him up 

He’s the one that carries the massive axe that busts through walls. 

"Is this the firehouse? Because you've got me feeling the heat."

Him sliding down the pole during an emergency *Eyes emoji*

Massage therapist 

His massages take ages because he makes sure to work out EVERY knot you have before you get off his table. 

“Oh my dear, you sure are a little tense, aren’t you? Let’s fix that.” 

Love the hot rocks, “ooh, a little hot” whenever he uses them

He gives all kinds of facials for his dedicated clients 

If you get really, really horny during the massage, he says he’ll give you a “happy ending” but really it's just a clap of his hands and a smile.

He plays “Happy” by Pharell Williams at the end of every massage

Sometimes he’ll offer a bonus technique where he steps on the client 

His spa music is just hip hop and rap songs turned into gentle melodies. 

Detective 

The clue is in your panties~

If you’re a threesome, he and the other suggest “split up and look for clues” aka your holes. 

When he’s feeling goofy he’ll bring a magnifying glass to your pussy. “I don’t need this, I already know where the clit is!” 

The hat stays on during sex.

Handcuffs. Nuff said.

He makes the outline of a body on the floor with painters tape and fucks you in that position. 

He asks you questions during sex like “Where were you at 11:34 PM Monday evening?” “Do you have an alibi?” “What crimes have you committed?” “Can you please state your full name and contact information?” “Your childhood street address?” 

He makes you hold his badge up to him during sex.

He smokes his cigar after. 

Lifeguard 

Diving into that… wink.

Speedos all day, every day.

He is super happy to carry a whistle with him all day.

He would’ve saved Ash that one time. 

He wouldn’t have let finalgirllx fall into that lake on her bike. 

He smells like coconut from the sunscreen

Sand *everywhere* “Got some sandy buttcheeks there!” 

When he runs, his pecs bounce.

Really enjoys the maritime accuracy of Spongebob Squarepants 

Very proud of his CPR certification. 

Driving instructor 

Bends you over the seat and fucks you to make sure the leather of the seat cushion is durable. 

Makes you sit on his lap and it causes the horn to honk. He doesn’t mind <3

“I wanna ride.”

Pretends to honk the horn, but really he’s just squeezing your breasts. 

Fingers you while you parallel park to make sure you really know what you're doing. 

“Red means stop, green means go.” But this is your safe word instead. 

Is very passionate about turn signals and will yell at you if you forget to use it. Drivers safety biotch

"Do you believe in love at first drive, or should I take you for another spin?"

Kindergarten teacher 

Fucks all the single moms. 

He is excellent with kids and really enjoys providing them a foundation for a bright future ahead of them.

Has a breaking and entering kink. 

His favorite craft to do with the children is making flowers out of tissue paper. He loves seeing the look on the parent's faces when they gift it. 

Has a mask kink. 

“Baby Shark” is banned from the classroom. 

Enjoys macaroni art. 

He has a talking stick that he’s very strict about using.

Loves having the students draw him and he puts every single one on the walls of the classroom.

Meteorologist 

There are lots of memes of him online. 

“It’ll be wet out this evening, and I’m not just talking about you, ladies.” Gets fired immediately

Becomes an at home meteorologist that says suggestive things about the news on his lives. 

More popular than any news station in the entire world. 

Part times as a camboy. Uses the same channel. 

Sticks his ass out a bit when he points to the green screen. That he somehow has one at his house. 

Instagram polls asking what he should wear during his next live. 

“It’s gonna be cold, ladies! Don’t wear your bras!” …wink 

His camboy name is “Weather Boy” and he makes people call him that professionally as well. 

The front of his business card is for meteorology and the back is his camboy persona.

Musician 

Very good with his fingers. 

The Weasley Wigouts - his band name!

Picks a new genre for every album, he likes to switch it up. Makes for some very confusing tours. 

Tongue piercing.

Has a tramp stamp tattoo on his lower back of Professor Sharp. 

Got his start on Soundcloud. 

Calls his fangirls his “Weasley Sluts!” 

Orders Subway for lunch for the band every day. 

Grew his hair out longer so he can headbang with it, even during soft songs. 

Manbun Garreth era! 

Science teacher 

Really looks up to Bill Nye. 

Wears a lab coat everywhere. 

Always flirts with the math teachers. 

Loves the volcano experiments more than anything. 

He gets wayyyy too hyped about the science fair. “It’s next week! Don’t forget!” and the students groan.

Always has granola bars and hot chocolate stocked in case any student is hungry.

Never sends any of his students to detention. He takes them aside and just says “Come on, man…” 

When teaching a chapter on biology and reproduction, he yells at the students to “AVERT YOUR EYES!” and dramatically covers his own. 

"What did the biologist wear to impress their date? Designer genes!"

Has a tattoo on his chest that says “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

Voice over artist 

Gets his start in English dubs of hentai. 

He has a small role as an NPC in Hogwarts Legacy. Guess who! 

Loves voice acting for the Elder Scrolls series. 

Will do raps for his fans on live, as much as 15 songs. 

Can sing and has a small youtube video with cover songs he loves. 

His most popular cover is of “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” by Fall Out Boy. 

Treats BookTok to sexy ASMR from time to time. 

Florist

Knows all the meanings to all the flowers in his shop.

Wants to fuck you on a flower bed. 

Really loves blue flowers (I don’t know the names of flowers).

He obsesses over flower arrangements and makes them look perfect! 

Always has dirt on his face and under his nails. 

"If kisses were petals, I'd give you a garden."

Has a mask kink. 

Will arrange all of the flowers for his own wedding. 

Loves to roleplay as Ghostface with his partner. 

Always smells fantastic. 

Likes to put a flower behind his ear when he’s working.

[mamayan]

Fat Gum (Toyomitsu Taishirō) Headcanons!

(I love some good yandere content, but I just can’t see this man ever becoming a yandere. He’d sooner never love again than force you into anything. If he really snapped and progressed as a yandere, he’d be the type to silently watch over you for the rest of your life if you didn’t reciprocate his love.)

SFW Headcanons:

• This man is a cinnamon roll in the streets and a cinnamon roll in the sheets.

• He’s the most likely to fall in love with you for your personality… and taste in food. Looks really aren’t all that important to him, but he enjoys if you compliment him! Tell him how nice it is to lay on him or snuggle, it makes his whole week.

• This man is literally the best date you could ask for, no need to worry about where you’re going or what your doing and especially what you’re going to eat. It’ll all be amazing.

• His hero work does take a lot of time away from your relationship, but he’s not one to ever neglect or ignore you. Dates can and will be done on video chat, sharing a meal and evening together even if you aren’t physically close.

• Buys you all the stuffed animals, books, video games, whatever hobby supplies you could ever want. His love languages are physical touch, gift giving, acts of service, and words of affirmation. He’s literally full of sugar I swear.

• Don’t think he’s a doormat though, he’s a classic Osaka man and has a temper (it usually only comes out when he sees or hears about something unjust or awful, but it can happen if someone cuts in line while he’s waiting for Takoyaki, or you telling him about a co-worker or customer being rude to you at work).

• Gives amazing foot rubs for such big hands, perfect pressure application.

• Traditional in dating. Likes the flowers, candies, dates, and all the mushiness of romance and love. Will likely take you on a multitude of dates before ever even kissing your cheek.

• He’s nearly 30, this man isn’t looking for a quick fling. He’s looking for his future, and if he’s dating you, it’s with serious intentions.

• If you nap on him, he’ll treat it the same way as one does when a cat sleeps on them. He’ll be careful even breathing to not wake you. Might snap a couple pictures too.

NSFW 🔥 MDNI ⛔️ :

• He’s 8’2, which means he’s not small even when he’s burned through all his fat. He’s an enormous man, and has an enormous cock, without a doubt. It’s not even the sexy big either, it’s the “Need 3-6 months of training and prep to take it” sort of vibe. He’s so cautious with sex it’s put many off in the past, but he cares more about your comfort and pleasure than his own. I love him seriously

• Once you have worked up comfortably to taking him, and he’s less afraid of harming you, it’s on. Cry all you want, Taishiro is a giver through and through, and give he will. He loves to overstimulate you, leave you begging for him to stop because it’s all too much only to throw you over the edge again. Rocking into you, keeping you absolutely stuffed, while he whispers praises in your ear. “So good, aren’t you sugar? Takin’ all of me, ngh, so well.”

• Say goodbye to normal aftercare, after this man destroys your insides (literally) you will be forced into his delicate care afterward. He’s got massage oil, pain meds, a doctor, the bubble bath and ALL the snacks.

• He loves the size difference but won’t say it out loud. You could be in the next lineup as a pro basketball player and look like a little kitten next to him. He adores it. It’s also cute holding you up by the hips and lifting you off the ground to rail into you, when he’s tired of laying down and you riding him. He’s scared to smush you, so this is a safe way to fuck you good and well. Just lift and impale

• He will snack on you like none other. Sit or lay on his face, he insists. His tongue alone could fuck you, it’s got insane girth and power.

• He doesn’t love blowjobs because he can’t see you over his belly. Maybe if he’s been forced to use his fat, he’ll happily accept if you offer. He just wants to see you struggle to take his big cock╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

• If you want him to cum quickly, go ahead and tell him how badly you want to get filled up. “Tai, please, I need your cum… wanna be full” or something pornographic like that, he’ll bust so fast-

• He’s big into lovin’ on you and making sure your calories get replenished after. Expect the BEST aftercare, whatever and anything you want. He’s internally moved by your willingness to take him, it’s an honor to him, really.

[viscerax]

do you have any Jay headcannons?

Omg yes I do!!!!!

Jay is a midwest emo music lover til he DIES. Show him some Front Bottoms or McCafferty and he goes insane. I feel like during the hotel hopping arc, he tried to make Tim listen to his cd's, but Tim just dissed on them the entire time.

I think he knows like a little bit of guitar. Type of guy to sit down and play Wonderwall

Hated college parties with a passion. Would go and pet the owners dog. Typically Alex would drag him along to some and he would just like. Stand in the corner. He's just overall a very awkward dude.

Him and Alex used to have liveleak binge sessions. Started off as just an Alex thing but then Jay got curious and so they just started binging liveleak together.

Not rlly a headcanon but he reminds me of the webkinz milk plushie. Or like that Pou plushie with the big ass eyes

Has 1 secret stuffed animal that he slept with almost every night that no one knows about. It got burnt down in his apartment :(

Firm believer in using shampoo AND conditioner... none of that 3 in 1 shit. If someone tells him they use 3 in 1 he glares at them from the corner of his eyes... might buy you shampoo and conditioner as a sassy birthday gift

Autistic. Jay Merrick is autistic. No im not taking arguments on this it is CANON Troy wagner himself told me (/j)

Trans ftm Jay merrick!!!!! Sorry he just gives me trans vibes.... but also I feel like he could totally also be mtf. He's just so transgender that honestly either one would work.

Doesn't like small yapping dogs like chihuahuas and stuff like that, but loves big dogs. He prefers dogs that are chilled out and calm, ones that can sit on top of him and fall asleep like that when he needs it (autism strikes again)

But he also really likes cats. Any cats. He doesn't care if they're mean, loving, energetic, grumpy, he loves cats. He's allergic but he does not care, he thought it out.

Likes birdwatching. Can name almost any bird he sees off the top of his head. Alex liked to mess with him in college by pointing at random birds as they walked to their classes, and listening as Jay rambled about the species.

Stims by making bird calls.

Religiously washes his signature hat. Absolutely can not stand the thought that his hat is dirty, says it feels different. Will wash it in whatever available sink or body of water. He would rather have a wet hat them a dirty hat.

[ruvviks]

❣️🎁🎮🤡🐒💤🗺️💀🧸 for vincent and cassidy :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH AUGRHHGRDHF i love these little guys so much. cassidy isn't little but. he is. to me

❣️ - what are their love languages?

physical touch and acts of service >:^) also cooking and remembering things but those are. less Official. but they're still important to me. if you wanna read more about this you can do that here it's from a different ask game but it makes me SO insane i'm not kidding

🎁 - how do they feel about their birthday/birthdays in general?

cassidy doesn't like his birthday because he lost his family on his birthday when he was still a kid :( doesn't celebrate anymore and also regularly just forgets when his birthday even is or his own age LMFAO he's not thinking about it at all <3

he DOES make an effort for others though when he finally has some friends again :] always tries to buy them something even though he sucks at giving gifts but. yeah. he really Tries and i'm very emotional about that

🎮 - what’s their favorite game?

answered here! to add another one: doom <3 cassidy loves to turn off his brain for the evening and just kill demons and he is Very good at it too because. well. assassin. and also netrunner (read: gamer)

🤡 - what’s something dumb they’re embarrassed about?

answered here! to give a very specific example which is. not really all that dumb but it IS kinda funny: he's very embarrassed about biting off a piece of sebastian's ear at some point <3 not giving you any more context i'm sorry i've said Enough

🐒 - what’s their favorite animal?

answered here!

💤 - what do they absolutely need to have to fall asleep?

answered here! he also needs to Hear something in order to fall asleep, on top of all that. whether it is noise from outside or a desk fan or someone else's breathing, doesn't really matter, but he can't fall asleep in dead silence

🗺️ - what languages do they speak?

answered here! he can also understand japanese and french well enough, but he can't speak those languages himself

💀 - how do they feel about horror movies?

cassidy Loves horror movies >:) it's his favorite genre next to sci-fi and it does. very little to him usually LMFAO he's also talking the entire time. he loves to pluck a movie apart while it's playing. he won't shut up i'm sorry. when a cheap jumpscare gets him he Will be >:( and he Will complain about it

🧸 - do they have any stuffed animals? if so, are they decorative or do they sleep with them?

answered here!

❣️ - what are their love languages?

acts of service, physical touch and quality time >:))) especially all three of them combined into one

🎁 - how do they feel about their birthday/birthdays in general?

vincent feels pretty neutral about his birthday mainly because he didn't celebrate it for some years because he was essentially Alone. nowadays it's a very special day to him because he kissed vitali for the first time ON his birthday so >:]

he's always VERY excited about other people's birthdays and will go all out for them, getting them flowers and also a gift. or two. or three. and he's giving them so many hugs and also maybe kisses if they're cool with that and if they want to go places he is taking them Everywhere

🎮 - what’s their favorite game?

vincent likes story based games a lot! i can't think of a specific game right now but anything that just tells a good story and is enjoyable to play through would catch his attention, he can play those kind of games in one sitting tbh. he also likes rhythm shooters >:)

🤡 - what’s something dumb they’re embarrassed about?

ok this one is funny LMFAO vincent feels incredibly embarrassed about the entire relic situation. yeah. don't ask why he just Does. babyboy got shot in the head, died, got revived by the relic and had to deal with johnny silverhand and here he is feeling so embarrassed about all of that. people have tried talking to him about it. he will not let it go. it's stuck in his brain

🐒 - what’s their favorite animal?

vincent loves cats so so SO much he has a cat himself (nibbles!) and vitali also has a cat (sapphire!!) and viktor ALSO has a cat (jack!!!) and vincent is always playing with them. he's having floor time and the cats are with him they're hanging out. whenever nibbles does something cute vincent is nearly in tears because he loves her so much

💤 - what do they absolutely need to have to fall asleep?

vincent, much like cassidy, needs to hear something before he can fall asleep. ever since they got rid of johnny in his brain he just HATES silence so much because it makes him incredibly uncomfortable and sometimes almost makes him wonder if he's dead so. he Needs to be able to hear something or he refuses to fall asleep. he also lowkey just kinda needs to have vitali close but he can also sleep without him. but he's not happy about it

🗺️ - what languages do they speak?

vincent knows english, sign language and spanish! he also knows bits and pieces of russian and irish but he's not very good at learning new languages so he's struggling a lot with them still, especially since the in-game events he's got pretty bad memory issues :/ but he's still making an effort

💀 - how do they feel about horror movies?

vincent likes horror movies but prefers to watch them with others, he wouldn't be one to just. watch one by himself LMFAO he likes scare his friends when they're watching a horror movie together <3 especially mikhail is fun to scare

🧸 - do they have any stuffed animals? if so, are they decorative or do they sleep with them?

vincent has SO MANY PLUSHIES my god. he's got. so facking many. they were mostly decorative at first. he hid them away for a while actually :( but now they're all in his bedroom >:) he regularly sleeps with one but cycles through them so it's never the same plushie two nights in a row <3

oc asks!

[sg2tiger]

Finally, this is my 2022 gaming wrap up! Usual ramblings under the cut.

Pokemon Throwback

With my 6-year old nephew living with us, it's my job to get him on and off the school bus. Last year, when he was in preschool, he had the afternoon class, so we had all morning to do whatever before we had to get ready. It ended up becoming a regular part of the routine to play Pokemon for an hour or so before get dressed time...and the game he chose specifically was LeafGreen. What we actually ended up playing was a FRLG romhack I found with a grab bag of pick-your-own QoL changes called Pokemon Throwback. In essence, we were playing LeafGreen, but things like cut trees staying cut, ability to obtain all pokemon in one cart, phys/special split, consecutive-use repels and other things just made life a bit easier, especially when coupled with the emulator's fast forward feature (GREAT for grinding).

Ultimately, over the course of the school year, we made it through the entire main game, Elite Four, and all of the Sevii Islands (I was pretty burned out by then, and he actually wanted to move on and play Gold, but he also didn't want to stop until we got his Dragonair to evolve...and it had about 5-6 more levels to go after we beat the Elite Four...). Then we went back, caught all the legendary birds, and Mewtwo. We didn't catch 'em all, but we DID catch every single Unown of the alphabet, which took about 3 weeks (again, we only played for about an hour every weekday) and probably made me go more insane than catching 'em all would have. In the end what matters is that he had fun and was excited to learn more pokemon than just the handful of popular ones on his pajamas and stuffed toys. And he really did learn them, and retain what he learned - kids are smart! Even if his sense of nicknaming was essentially 'the animal it's based on + y' (he had a real crisis when we caught Horsea).

We played the game on my phone, with my bluetooth controller. I really liked this controller and was pretty bummed when I upgraded to a slightly bigger phone and the mobile clip just simply did not fit anymore (we still use them as Switch controllers for multiplayer, but still). I ended up getting a different type of mobile controller that attaches horizontally for my new phone, which will hopefully accommodate at least one more phone in the future before they start making them TRULY gargantuan.

Minecraft: Arid Adventures

One night...at a time where I actually hadn't played Minecraft for several months...I had a weird dream. It started out with a friend gifting me some kind of VR survival horror game about exploring desert tombs and recovering artifacts while being pursued by the angry undead guardians. At some point, the dream called for sand physics, and my brain reached into the video game sand physics databanks and pulled 'minecraft sand blocks falling all at once'. The dream then shifted from a more realistic style to that familiar blocky aesthetic (though the non-aesthetic elements were still very survival horror and NOT minecraft). When I awoke and recounted the dream, the minecraft image ended up being what stuck with me, and I wanted to see if anyone had made any kind of desert-themed modpacks. I found...one, which I didn't really like, so I took it upon myself to spend a month and a half working on my own.

The result is a sort of desert-flavored kitchen sink pack, filled with tons of places to explore, loot to discover, challenging enemies, and some light survival with thirst/temperature mechanics (offset by lots of food items to hydrate and keep you cool because I didn't want hardcore survival to be the focus of the pack). I spent a lot of time creating a huge arid ecosystem of modded desert, badlands and savanna biomes filled with tons of desert ruins, bandit camps and other structures across the landscape. But despite how much time I spent fine-tuning and playtesting it, when we actually got it on our friend server we ran into more than a few problems...like the massive overspawning of deadly, deadly scorpions. Still, regardless of some oversights, I'd like to think the pack was a success, and we had some fun playing it together between April/May (I spent half of February and all of March putting it together).

Arid Adventures was ultimately my less-polished-than-I'd-hoped first foray into learning how to make Minecraft modpacks, and I've applied a lot of what I learned about things like NBT structures and datapacks to other packs I've made since. Still, I've got a soft spot for this one, and I'd like to recreate it on 1.18 or 1.19 if possible...and I think it should be, I'm just waiting on one mod in particular to update (Team Abnormals' Atmospheric, for its additional desert biomes as well as resources like aloe and yucca which my bespoke desert food mod incorporated as ingredients for lots of recipes). Maybe when the time comes that I'm able to remake and polish it up a bit I'll even post it publicly on CurseForge. I'm pretty shy and have a massive lack of confidence in my work, though, so I tend to just keep my packs private for our friend group server 😔

(we’re actually currently playing a winter-themed modpack called “Arctic Adventures” which is “Arid Adventures but Cold”. Except not really, because I just took a light vanilla+ modpack I’d made and threw a couple winter-themed mods on top of it. But I thought the name was funny, so maybe there will be more [x] Adventures packs in the future)

Vigil: The Longest Night

You can really tell that 2021-2022 was me trying to work up the nerve to play the actual Dark Souls by warming up with various Soulslikes first. I don't even remember how I discovered Vigil, but probably I figured that if I liked Hollow Knight and Salt and Sanctuary I'd have fun with Vigil too. And I did, actually. Unlike the aforementioned, I even finished Vigil with 100% completion, grabbing all achievements over the course of two playthroughs.

Combat and healing felt a lot more forgiving than the others Soulslikes I'd played, at least if you picked the right perks. I ended up running axes, focusing entirely on that tree and the general survival one, and generally it always felt like there were very few enemies and even bosses that gave me a truly difficult time by the latter half of the game (several of the early bosses did kill me many times). At least, as far as the 'main' content goes - once I hit the bonus bosses like Bluemagpie and Redsparrow I really felt like I had to memorize every possible move the boss could take and counter appropriately. Frankly, if not for the fact that I misunderstood one achievement as having to collect EVERY weapon/armor set in the game, I probably would have given up on fighting Redsparrow after my first 10+ deaths...but I persevered and killed every optional boss in the game too.

I think what I spent the most time on in Vigil was just my obsessive determination to discover every nook and cranny on the map, because games like this where your map is fogged until you traverse it always compel me to reveal it all (I'll never forget the hell Shin Megami Tensei Strange Journey put me through because of this urge of mine). The game is absolutely chock full of little secret rooms that you can just barely see a hint of on the map...usually there will be a small passage you have to slide through or something, sometimes hidden behind breakable objects or just otherwise in places you wouldn't think to look. I'd call it the 2D equivalent of Dark Souls' love of invisible walls. Between hunting down places that I sensed held secret passages and trying to platform my way through the trees in the forest areas, I got really into unfogging the map. But hey, in doing so, I was also working my way through all the various loot required for achievements, so one gameplay loop always fed into another in a satisfying way.

I feel like Vigil is the kind of game that's easy to overlook in the sea of 2D soulslike metroidvanias out there, but I had a good time with it. By the end I even really wanted to know more about the story and the lore, unfortunately somewhat marred by a translation of questionable quality. And with the way some of the endings played out, I'm really hoping that there might someday be a sequel, because it definitely feels like the devs left an open door for there to be. I'd say if you're into this kind of game, though, Vigil's worth checking out.

Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot

I was pretty torn between rating this "Pretty Good" vs. "Decent", because I feel like my expectations for this game were unfairly high, but I also feel like every time I play I find something that I feel like the game COULD have done better, but for some bizarre reason chose not to. Kakarot was a game I was looking forward to a lot when it first got announced, because conceptually it seemed like something pretty different that had a lot of potential to be interesting. And while I think Mistake #1 was choosing NOT to start the story off with kid Goku in the original Dragonball (which would have suited the survival and exploration mechanics so so SO much better if we started off with him before meeting Bulma) I understand that we must bow to the whims of the marketing gods at the end of the day, and 90% of the target audience doesn't care about the original DB at all. Still, despite the name being 'Kakarot', it was obvious that a lot of the game would be spent playing as characters who are NOT Goku...and in particular, Gohan, and the idea of playing through his training with Piccolo with these game mechanics sounded like a lot of fun.

That comes to my first issue with the game...speed/pacing. And I get it, because the game spans the entirety of DBZ from Raditz to Buu, but even so it always feels like we're skipping way too fast through the parts of the story that would service the gameplay the most. I thought what would make this DIFFERENT than the usual DBZ fighter is that we would NOT be skipping over the 'less interesting' parts quite as much, because the gameplay involves more than JUST fighting this time around, but more often than not I still found that it skips massively through major story beats when it should slow down and try to be more immersive. I've been playing intermittedly over the course of a few months so I don't have a lot of specifics off the top of my head, but the most recent part I finished was the whole entire Ginyu Force segment...in the space of about 45 minutes.

I remember being irritated that the game barely conveyed what an actual THREAT the Ginyus were to Gohan/Kuririn/Vegeta before Goku shows up, because of the way you still 'win' even the losing battles of this game. And while I know we're kind of in an era of de-bloodening the Dragonball franchise as a whole, the lack of violence also really lessened the impact of the absolute beat down Rikum gives everyone, and thus also diminishes just HOW powerful Goku - who shows up and stomps him in 10 seconds - has become. Then the whole Ginyu body change bit is just kind of raced through with little ceremony at all despite being one of the more iconic aspects of the whole Namek arc IMO...I don't know. I felt like Goku went from space ship to healing tank in even less time than usual, and in a game that's literally named after the guy it's EXTRA noticeable just how little time is spent focusing on him (admittedly if you go over all of Z in your head you'll realize Goku is actually out of the spotlight for a whole lot more than you'd think, but the game's fast pace doesn't help matters either).

Again, I'm sure a lot of this is just my own expectations being unreasonably high for a Dragonball game, but it bums me out when the general presentation - the extremely faithful cutscenes, the soundtrack, etc - is really immersive, but then they'll just go and race through a whole story segment to get to the next fight. Oh, I remember another one that annoyed me. Imagine if the game wasn't afraid to actually let you control BULMA for the brief interlude where Popo takes her to Kami's spaceship! Imagine actually having to explore around as Bulma (you could even give her Popo's magic carpet so she could still use the game's flight mechanics) and scavenge for mechanical parts (which is already a thing you CAN DO in the game mind you!!) to try and do some repairs to the ship. Or just having to search around the area, maybe in the middle of a blizzard (it was a snowy place iirc), to find the ship at all. Instead the game just kind of went from 'Vegeta got away' to 'but they found a spaceship to go to Namek' almost IMMEDIATELY. Being that I'm playing the game alongside my nephew, who started to get curious about Dragonball (I think he saw some kind of Goku vtuber playing Minecraft on youtube or something, and got excited when he found out that I knew all about Goku), there's lots of bits like this where I end up having to summarize some of the stuff the game glosses over, because watching the story unfold via this game IS his first exposure to Dragonball (which I guess in a way makes it a good thing that the violence is generally pretty toned down compared to the original).

Anyway, yeah, idk. I feel like even when the game does let you explore it's all very barebones and watered down. The fact that only the story cutscenes are voiced and all the original sidequests are just grunts and noises also irritates me because it feels so lazy (Xenoverse does the same thing but idk, it didn't bother me there, I guess because all the battle dialogue was still voiced and it was just overworld stuff that wasn't). I also don't feel like I ever really have to use mechanics like fishing or cooking or any of that stuff because the battles are pretty easy? At least on normal difficulty, because the combat system is so simplified compared to a proper DBZ fighter. It's more about like, Touhou-style attack dodging than anything, which is fine, but I find that it's rarely challenging enough that I feel like "damn I should have spent more time scavenging ingredients to cook food before the battle!". It just feels like they tried to make a game with these survival RPG mechanics but didn't know HOW to, so they're very tacked on...and they just made a bog standard 'let's rehash the same DBZ story once again' Dragonball game when it COULD have been something better. Especially if they dared to start with Kid Goku's life. Sadly I know that a AAA game focusing on OG DB is basically a pipe dream.

Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights

After I finished Vigil I was feeling hungry for more 2D metroidvania soulslikes, and Ender Lilies just happened to go on sale like, a few days later. It had really good reviews so I picked it up and spent the next few days playing it obsessively. In fact, based on the dates of my achievements from start to end, I finished the game in less than a week (31 hours total), 100% completion with all achievements. And after I did I just kept feeling like...it wasn't enough and I wanted more. I really got sucked into the world and its atmosphere, particularly through the amazing soundtrack. And once you start digging and trying to understand the lore, it's extremely compelling as well.

While I'd really like to see the devs make another game like this, maybe even set in the same overall world, I'm not really sure if I want a sequel per se. In a way, Lily's story has just begun, but I also don't feel like I want to PLAY whatever lies in her future. Probably because if I did it would mean what awaits her is more monsters and more sadness. But I really would like to explore more of the Ender Lilies world, perhaps beyond the boundaries of the kingdom, or maybe even delving into the past of the Ancients before the events that lead to the game's story.

I can't really talk about the game too much without spoiling too many things that I think are just better discovered for yourself. The game is tough, but not unforgivingly so (especially if you're not going for all the achievements), and it's pretty short if you can hit 100% in just 31 hours. I'd absolutely recommend checking this one out, especially if other similar 2D soulslike metroidvanias seem too challenging. Or at least watch someone else play it (ideally without commentary). Ender Lilies is a whole experience, between the art and the music and the story and the lore and the way the gameplay itself just clicks, and it's one of those things that I'm sad I'll never be able to play for the first time again.

PS - I want more games to take a hint from its map system, particularly in highlighting a room when I've collected everything in it to let me know I really didn't miss anything, because that shit is SO fucking clutch when you're achievement hunting, or just if you're the kind of person who hates the idea of overlooking anything.

Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes

As I mentioned in the addendum of my 2021 post about Three Houses, it took me so long to finish that game that I actually saw the release date of Three Hopes (mid to end of June iirc) as my deadline. And that wasn't because I had any intention of GETTING Three Hopes (especially on release day, because I just don't buy games like that), but because I knew my Three Houses-loving friends WOULD, and I'd be right back in No Spoiler territory with them after just finally breaking into the inner circle of 3H spoilers. Thankfully I did manage to finish my final route (Crimson Flower) just a week or so before Three Hopes came out, and I even played the Three Hopes demo afterwards to see what it'd even be like (I've never played a Warriors game before). When I saw that the story was actually pretty engaging I was like, oh, this is less brainless than I thought, maybe I'll buy it (eventually)...and ended up getting a gift copy from a friend instead. Nice!

Except...while my Three Houses friends all expected to get obsessively sucked into it (after also enjoying the demo), and I was excited to actually be there with them this time, they unexpectedly became engulfed by a DIFFERENT fandom...progress sort of halted on the Three Hopes front...and then I became the one who was afraid to spoil THEM by pulling too far ahead, so I slowed down...and eventually that just sort of killed my momentum entirely and...yeah. I've stopped playing for now.

Being that I had done the two Eagles routes back to back as my last two routes in Three Houses, AND that being the favorite house of said friends (and the one they were also gonna pick first), that's where I'm at. I have no idea how far into it I am because the game seems surprisingly on par with a normal FE game in terms of story pacing...maybe halfway, or not quite halfway through? I wanna say I got to chapter 8 or 9 before I burned out. I do want to go back to it at some point, ideally when (if?) my friends become re-interested, but either way after how long it took me to push through Three Houses I suppose it was a good time for a Fire Emblem break regardless. I've still got a bunch of other Switch games (notably Shin Megami Tensei V) waiting on my shelf, and I had intended to jump on that when I finally finished Three Houses before Three Hopes came along and threw me that curveball. I've just kind of had the cartridge in my Switch ever since, deluding myself into thinking I'm 'still playing it' because I know the minute I take it out that won't be true anymore.

I suppose I should actually give a review, huh? Well, despite how not far at all I actually am in the game (considering the other routes), I feel like I've played enough that I've seen pretty much every type of gameplay mechanic. I gotta say, despite it not being a turn-based strategy, it feels a lot more Fire Emblem than I thought it would. Just about every downtime activity from Three Houses reappears here in some form, and there's a lot more to do at your base and on side missions than I expected. Trying to get all S ranks can also be really addictive and I spent a lot of my playtime retrying the same missions over and over because I felt like just one small change could improve my time and get me that S (and so far, with maybe one or two exceptions, I've managed to S rank every mission by retrying it a few times). The missions are also still very much what I would call strategic, just in a different way, and the main missions especially give you lots of options for how to tackle your objectives so long as you've been thorough about clearing the map and picking up resources and intel along the way.

I find the gameplay pretty overwhelming with the realtime combat when so much is going on, so the way I adapted to that personally is that I spend a loooot of time pausing and opening the map screen to issue orders to the other characters. Then I usually pick one and try to carry out my own goal while they autonomously work through theirs, periodically swapping to someone else to see how they're doing and just for the variety of playing as someone else here and there. But I'm basically ALWAYS checking my map every 30 seconds to get a feel for where my units are and what they're doing, and what needs to be done...which I found helped me keep track of things a bit better amid the stream of endless enemies, special attacks flying around, and being constantly bombarded with dialogue while I'm trying to fight. It took a bit of getting used to but I think it's pretty fun once you get the hang of it.

What surprised me the most when I played the demo (and made me consider getting the full game at all) was that the story does play a big part in the game. I guess I just sort of expected an excuse plot that sent a bunch of familiar faces out to use anime moves against an army of bad guys. I have no idea how the plot kicks off for the other houses, but what really drew me in with the Eagles was how the decision to reveal and act on one thing at a much earlier point in the plot lead to a completely different outcome, spinning the usual Three Houses story off into an AU that still felt internally consistent with the original characters and events. When it came up, I was like, "no way, that's going to basically change EVERYTHING!" and got really sucked into the plot even before the demo wrapped up - so kudos also to the demo for providing enough content to actually suck the player in. That said, this game is very much only for people who finished Three Houses...at least, I sure can't imagine being able to keep track of the story, or even being interested in it, if not for knowing what ORIGINALLY happened and how differently a few factors of Three Hopes influenced them to change course. So while I'm sure there ARE Warriors fans out there whose interest in the game is mostly that aspect, I think for most people you're not gonna want to just pick this up without having played the original first...IMO, anyway, this game is NOT Standalone, despite being an alternate universe version of Three Houses' plot.

But yeah, I do wanna go back to this someday, because I was enjoying myself. I think just the combination of my friends falling off (not having anyone to talk about it with anymore after liveblogging ALL of Three Houses to them felt weird) and just generally needing a break from these characters after 8 straight months of them warranted a break. It's time for me to accept that, pop out that cartridge, and move on...I'll come back eventually. Probably...

DARK SOULS: Prepare to Die Edition

So, after all those soulslikes paving the way, we finally arrive at this point. All of it, training me for the mindset to go into a game known for its frustrating level of difficulty. I'd actually had Dark Souls in my Steam library for YEARS (that's why it's the old Prepare to Die Edition and not the Remaster), but only now did I finally feel like I was ready to take it on. And so, after applying the DSFix patch/mod (and one other mod that makes crates/barrels occasionally drop things like arrows and throwing knives because I was gonna smash them all anyway (currently really missing this in DS3)), I began my journey in June 2022...and only just wrapped it up in November.

I talked about this a bit in my Undertale review back in 2020, but what you know/expect/feel about a game before going into it can very much affect the experience you have when you finally play it. In the case of Dark Souls, I was strongly influenced by fear of how difficult it would be, due to its reputation. That fear lead me to watch lots of videos before playing, as a way to kind of prepare myself for what was to come (because going in blind was too scary). Most of these were challenge runs, so the focus was on the boss fights, but it all gave me enough of a taste of the general progression and various hurdles I'd be facing along the way. As such, I often knew exactly how to prepare, and how cautious to be making my way through areas, which trivialized a LOT of that expected difficulty.

To give perhaps the best example, I was very aware of Blighttown's reputation because it's practically a meme. People hate this Blighttown place. It's full of aggressive enemies and a deadly poison swamp that's become a staple of all future FromSoft games. It's the worst area of the game. Etc. Granted I later found out a good deal of the hate was due to the terrible framerate the game had on consoles (wasn't an issue for me on PC, at least with DSFix), but I imagine a lot of the hate also comes from people recklessly rushing their way through the upper level and getting caught by the constant ambushes, especially from the toxic dart guys. But because I KNEW ABOUT THIS REPUTATION, I went through Blighttown very slowly and cautiously. I had my bow ready at all times and a solid supply of arrows, which I used to tag enemies from a distance so they'd come attack me one at a time instead of ambushing me in large groups. I came prepared with blooming purple moss from Darkroot Garden to counteract the toxic from the blowdart guys, and since I knew they wouldn't respawn when killed I wasn't really afraid of them in the first place - after all, once they shot me, I'd pretty much know their position and be able to kill them, heal the toxic, and be on my way.

Aside from one or two deaths by fall damage (one particularly funny one was when I saw an item on a ledge that I could practically sense was schmuck bait...but I jumped down to get it anyway, and sure enough the floor collapsed under me and I fell to my death) I didn't have any trouble from Blighttown AT ALL, and definitely not one bit of frustration. It was TENSE, because of how dark the place is and because I was in constant fear of being ambushed, but it just didn't really happen because I could always spot the ambush from afar and tag the enemies individually with my bow. In a few areas with particularly dangerous drops of walkways I just decided that I didn't need the items that badly and ignored them. I got to the middle level bonfire without issue, and then made my way to the bottom of the swamp from there rather easily. And despite the poison swamp at the bottom itself being an obstacle, I had already gone back to the asylum to pick up the Rusted Iron Ring (though originally that was so I could get through the pool in Darkroot Garden), and the enemies at the bottom are much weaker than the ones in the top half of Blighttown so you're really only using your estus to heal off the poison anyway. I spent a lot of time farming the slugs down there for titanite shards and it felt like the poison, while it lasts for a million years, REALLY doesn't even do all that much damage, so as long as you don't panic and keep an eye on your health bar it was really easy to just periodically heal through.

The point is...one of the most hated areas of the game was a piece of cake to me because of the way I approached it. And I approached it that way to begin with because I went into the game knowing about its difficulty, preparing myself accordingly, and taking it slow and steady instead of rushing through and getting caught in a dozen ambushes. Of course this experience is built on the back of the millions of players who played this game when it WASN'T a decade old, and I'm not trying to trivialize the experiences of people who DID struggle with Blighttown by saying 'just like go slower lol'. But I do think it's fascinating how much easier this game is when you approach it the right way. I think, if I didn't know about all this stuff in advance, I too might end up trying to play it like Skyrim or something, just recklessly running into ambushes and traps and swinging my weapon wildly with no regard for enemy attack patterns. But by 2022 I think almost everyone knows that you can't play Dark Souls that way, and they probably wouldn't even try. And if you're not trying to play it that way...it's really NOT that hard of a game at all. It's a challenging game, and it will punish you for playing carelessly, but it's a far cry from the reputation the game has for being hard for the sake of hard. In fact, having recently played Megaman 1-3 with a friend via Switch Online, I feel like THAT is much more of a hard-just-for-the-sake-of-laughing-at-your-failure kind of game, where it just feels insurmountably difficult for no reason half the time, in a very un-fun kind of way. And the whole time we were playing it (and making heavy use of Switch Online save states along the way) I kept thinking about Dark Souls, and how much more forgiving it is than fucking NES Megaman (or NES Mario, or lots of NES games tbh).

Anyway. While this preparedness probably is the entire reason I was able to push through the game and finish it with 100% completion (even if it took me 6 months of playing cautiously), I did also end up feeling like it trivialized my experience in a sad way too, because I didn't really get to learn what the game wanted to teach me by punishing me, since I always knew what was around each corner. That's why I'm currently playing Dark Souls 3 blind (though I'll go back over a walkthrough once I finish an area to pick up items I missed, I'm NOT looking into things ahead of time). I think I probably would have been too scared to play Dark Souls blind, which is why I used those videos as a crutch in the first place, but I'm stronger now and I want to have that experience.

So, would I recommend Dark Souls? Yes, unless you absolutely hate third-person action RPGs in general. I think even if you're afraid of Dark Souls for its difficulty, you should give it a chance. Don't feel ashamed for looking up a walkthrough to prepare you ahead of time - you're still the one who has to beat the area by yourself, after all. While it did make me a little sad after the fact that I didn't get to experience the game blind, honestly, if I hadn't played like this I might never have had the courage to experience it AT ALL, so I'm glad that I did. I still felt pride when I conquered a tough area or boss on my own, even if I knew what to expect before going in. I guess it's like, if you were going to climb a mountain or explore the woods, wouldn't you feel a bit more peace of mind if you had a map of the area? But the map isn't going to climb the mountain for you...at the end of the day that's still something you've gotta do with your own power, and you can still be as proud of that as the guy who didn't buy a map. Or something like that, anyway. And also, don't believe everything you hear about on the internet, because I feel like the game's difficulty has been memed and exaggerated far beyond the actual truth anyway. Just take it slow and steady, prepare as much as you feel comfortable beforehand, and whatever you do, don't you dare go hollow.

Skyrim Together

Oh boy. So as we know, every year I find some way to play Skyrim again (except last year where I played Oblivion instead), and this year that took the form of trying to get Skyrim Together Reborn - the multiplayer Skyrim mod - set up and working with some friends. Except the idea of playing vanilla Skyrim (even with friends) sounded too boring to me. No, instead, I waited until someone else released a stable Skyrim Together modlist and then tried THAT out...and then proceeded to cannibalize it, removing mods I didn't like and adding new ones in that we wanted instead. You know. Just normal Skyrim PC player behavior.

Anyway, after about two weeks of working basically nonstop on my list, patching it and everything, making it as stable as absolutely possible on singleplayer...we took it online. And I learned that just because I've got Intermediate+ Skyrim modding knowledge, I don't know SHIT about what's going on under the hood in Skyrim Together's arcane black magic system. Long story short, we had uh. Problems. Lots of them. Most of them actually very funny, like, being attacked by a wolf (on my screen) and being told I'm actually crazy because it's a fucking skeever (on their screens). 

Or looting the dead wolf/skeever and finding 148 bones, 296 dog meat, 539 skeever tails and 148 wolf pelts on it. 

Or having...whatever this is, happen whenever your friends move around, except on THEIR screen YOU’RE the one doing it

Or getting launched into the sky for having the audacity to shield bash... 

OR the respawn system sending you to the back half of a dungeon you just started, potentially behind locked doors that only open from the front side, leaving you essentially trapped. 

Or

You know. Normal Skyrim behavior.

Suffice to say, after many days of saying "okay let's try it again but do [x] this time", we just couldn't get past a lot of these issues. And funny as they were, they were kind of impeding our ability to play Skyrim...together. Eventually we all just kind of got so tired of trying that we quietly abandoned the project. Even me, with the fierce determination I had to make the modlist work for that two week period, just couldn't understand why things were so hilariously broken once we got online, and lost all my zeal for trying (the only thing I could possibly think to do was to ask for help on a support Discord, and given the choice between troubleshooting with a stranger and just giving up, I chose giving up).

Honestly, even if things WERE working as intended, the whole process quickly became tiring. Every time I made changes to the list I'd have to reupload it for my friends to then redownload and overwrite their files with. And we had to get VPNs to connect to a private server session with (the need for extra tools like this is why I listed this as "PC" and not just "Steam"), and depending on which one of us was hosting we'd often experience slightly different flavors of bugs. And it didn't even matter how hot we made our orcs, because certain RaceMenu features just don't sync properly to the server, so all the time we spent perfecting our Himbo body morphs was for naught. It just kind of kept chipping away at our patience a little at a time until the cons started outweighing the pros of playing Skyrim together, and we all just lost the desire to keep trying.

But hey, this was all happening in September, just a month or so after Skyrim Together Reborn's official launch. And it was only DAYS after I saw someone else post a modlist that I then used as the basis for mine. It was probably too early to be as ambitious as we were. My hope is that development on Skyrim Together, and its Nemesis fork, make enough progress that by the time ky desire to play Skyrim again rolls around I might be willing to take another crack at it, and maybe things will work better by then. The day may yet come that our hot orcs will finally be unleashed on Skyrim...together.

Puyo Puyo Tetris 2

I've mentioned a few times how me and a friend of mine like to co-op play ostensibly singplayer games with Switch Online, but they do have some multiplayer-friendly games on there too, and sometimes we do also play those. One time we got very into playing Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine on Genesis. And then shortly after that my friend discovered an alarmingly similar game on the SNES called Kirby's Avalanche. We started to suspect this might be a case of some Japan-only game that they didn't expect to take off in the west without more familiar marketing, so we looked into it and it turned out to be the case - for a series of puzzle games called Puyo Puyo. After finding out there was a modern Puyo Puyo x Tetris crossover for Switch (that might be easier to play together than doing it via Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine) we both grabbed a copy...and I even grabbed a second copy on Steam when there happened to be a Sega sale about a week later and I spotted it there too.

Anyway, I may have briefly fallen into a week-long period of Puyo Puyo Fever where I couldn't stop playing, and all my dreams were haunted by falling puyos and tetris blocks. I got over it, but I still think it's a really fun and addictive game, and the multiplayer aspect of dumping garbage on your opponent's field to screw them over is a really fun way of turning what I tend to think of as a singleplayer genre into something competitive. And there's tons of different modes and ways to play, too, whether you wanna play Just Tetris or Just Puyo Puyo or a combination of both, time attack, all kinds of weird variations...and there's a weird over-the-top anime singleplayer story mode as well, where you can launch special attacks at your opponent as well. I actually got stuck on one of the bosses in this mode because I suck at utilizing the special attacks and you REALLY have to in order to beat her, but I'll get her...one day...

My nephew also got addicted to it and even got his own copy of the game for his birthday, so we can play together too (or by himself instead of him borrowing my switch all the time). He particularly likes that you can reskin your puyos to look like Sonic characters. But yeah, honestly it's a pretty fun game, especially if you just want something to pick up and play on the bus, or while you're in a hospital waiting room because you've had an ear infection for 3 weeks, or something. It's pretty pricey on Switch at least, though, so I'd either grab it on Steam (where it's $10 cheaper even when it's not on sale) or wait for some kind of Sega sale to get it cheaper. I think it's a lot of fun, just like, not $40 fun. There's also a Puyo Puyo Tetris 1 that's cheaper, which I imagine can't be all THAT different unless you care about the online scene or something.

Super Mario 3D World

My Switch co-op friend got me this because he thought we would have a fun and friendly time doing co-op together. Oh how wrong he was.

First of all. It’s a fun enough little game, though I prefer the gameplay style of Mario Odyssey myself. I feel like this game’s levels are definitely designed more for quick play sessions, with the star and stamp hunts kind of working like bite-sized versions of tracking down moons in Odyssey. I played through the first world or two by myself before we headed online together for jolly cooperation. Or more like (I’m Mario)...

You see, the game feels nice and friendly and colorful and there’s even a lot of cases where co-op is encouraged. But you can’t show me a results screen at the end of the level where one player can do better than the other, even to the point of being awarded a crown to wear into the next level, without awakening the blood fury inside me. Every time he performed better than me (due to my overwhelming tendency to hurl myself off cliffs) it would ever so slightly raise the rage meter inside my heart. I would become obsessed with doing better in the next level. And at first this was sensible...get more coins than him. Collect the stars before he can. Get the checkpoint and exit flags to show my M instead of his dumb L. All things that would give ME more points. But sometimes you’re just not as good at Mario games as the other person and it’s easier said than done to just BE better than the competition.

But what if there was no competition in the first place? The solution was in front of me all along. Eliminate him. Pick him up and throw him off a cliff, or into an enemy, then use the resulting precious seconds to race ahead and get all the goodies before he can catch up. Of course, this became less and less successful as time went by and he caught onto the fact that I’d try to throw him at virtually any opportunity. Sometimes he’d flip the script and throw ME off before I could get a chance, resulting in a lot of back-and-forth warfare. But more often than not it goes like this

Turns out I’m REALLY good at playing myself. In fact, while looking for a video clip for that first gif of me throwing him off the cliff, I found about 6 like this where I try to pick him up but end up being the one who dies instead.

Honestly though, my favorite was this time, where I spent a while playing nice and not doing anything overtly evil, until we got to a toad house...

The toad house gets marked as cleared as soon as you exit, and he didn’t have any powerups on hand while I was running around with my raccoon suit, so he was pretty pissed about this one. Perhaps my finest moment of video game dickery of all time, and it’s not like it was premeditated (I’m not that smart). I just thought it up on the spot and thought it would be funny. And it was (to me). And that’s what it’s like playing Super Mario 3D World with me.

[themstroll]

hello i am very much thinking about how gift giving is incredibly different between family and friends. i met somebody two days ago and invited her to a birthday party and she bought me a fake mallard for my birthday and it was incredibly good. i think friends will always buy you things they think you’ll like and you’ll actually like them most of the time. my friend got me an insane amount of stuff and also a comic because she KNEW i felt bad that it seemed like no one cared about my interests. my boyfriend gave me a pair of earrings i would never have bought for myself but i will wear them always now because i love him insanely insanely much and they were something it got for me. i got a book and a crocheted fish and a cardboard cutout of a character and a fucked up stuffed animal and it was so good. i really don’t care if people get me stuff but god like. life is good in the small points if that makes sense

[nikethestatue]

Dreamland

Elriel Month- Day21

thank you to @123moiaussi​ for supplying the idea!

This is Fluffy Fluffington Fluff. But basically, it’s how Elain, Nuala and Cerridwen became friends

Dreamland

That’s what Elain called it. Her dreamland. A state of nebulous nothingness, where her head was an animal. A wild animal that could not be controlled. It was a landscape of visions, nonsense, lucidity, periods of terror, and periods of pleasure.

The pleasure came from when she was with the handsome one…what was his name? Azriel.

He was kind to her. Always. And such sadness in his eyes—she thought that they were green? They looked green, a lively forest-green—when he looked at her. Sadness, but not pity, exactly. There was understanding in his eyes, on that beautiful, but utterly cold face—like he knew her inside and out, and understood precisely what was happening to her, even if she didn’t know herself.

Moments with him was when she was the most aware. He was always unbearably gentle, taking her by the hand, like she was a little girl, and leading her out into the garden. Weather permitting, they’d sit together, in companiable silence, never needing to chat or annoy each other with words. He always worked. Truthfully, she thought that he worked much too much, with endless stack of reports that he was reading through, sorting them into different piles, sometimes drinking tea with her, sometimes, sipping on a whiskey. She liked it when he drank whiskey and sometimes, she dreamt that she could lick his lower lip and taste the bitterness on her tongue. When such thoughts crossed her mind, he always raised his eyes to her, a small, handsome smirk on his lips, his face changed somehow, amused.

One time, he was frowning. Something in the report that didn’t sit well with him. She didn’t know why she did it, but she reached out and pressed her thumb between his bunched brows and smoothed it gently, rubbing at it. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it.

“Don’t frown,” she said. “You’ll get wrinkles.”

She made him laugh that time. He never truly laughed, not like that. But it was just the two of them, and he threw his head back and laughed. And maybe, she wanted to kiss his neck.

But he was absent a lot, and she sat by herself, waiting. Waiting for him. For her head to clear. She knew that when he returned, he’d seek her out. Why, she had no idea. Maybe she gave him peace.

He couldn’t possibly be interested in sitting with her, in silence. He was probably bored to death, shuffling through his papers. But…If he’d only known what it meant to her. That one person, one man—male—didn’t treat her like she was insane. Her sister thought that she might be. That read-headed male, who was her ‘mate’—whatever that meant—he thought that she was mad as well. The High Lord looked at her with some sadness, incomprehension. He also didn’t know. Even the tiny angry angel among them, she wasn’t sure either. Though her quick silver eyes were knowing, like she saw her the same way as Azriel.

When Azriel was with her, she left the dreamland.

He’d find her, and take her by the hand, and sometimes, when no one was watching, he’d thread his fingers with hers. His hand was massive, horribly scarred, and unfailingly gentle. She had thoughts about that hand as well, but she kept them to herself. She was engaged after all, and such thoughts were improper. But she couldn’t help herself. Those hands were magic.

They’d find a quiet corner in the townhouse and sit together, and it was a good day in Elain’s life. But then, he’d be gone again, and she’d return to the mental whirlpool of confusion and pain, until the next time. Until Azriel returned and took her hand in his.

It started with a cardamom bun.

Sometimes, Azriel and she ate together. Not meals. Snacks. He always worried that she was too thin, and she heard whispers among the others how they were concerned about her not eating. Azriel, true to form, never said anything to her, but when they drank their tea, he sometimes attempted to sneak something to her—a dainty finger sandwich, a scone, a pastry. Up until today, he was unsuccessful. She always smiled softly at him, but did not eat.

It was early, but Elain was awake.

Her head felt clear today, unusually so. She came downstairs and saw the shadowy twins working at the counter, preparing breakfast. She said ‘good morning’, and then, she felt him behind her. He didn’t touch, or say anything, and his steps were feathers-soft, but she knew. She always sensed him around her. Maybe it was his scent.

Today, he rested his hand on the small of her back, for the first time. It just rested there, touching lightly. She did not look at him, but stepped into the touch. ‘Good morning,’ he greeted all of them. He was always polite, and the twins liked him—Elain could see it—more than others. There was a special kind of relationship that he had with them, but Elain was too confused to discern the nature of it. He gently nudged her forward, towards the table and pulled the chair for her, before sitting himself across from her. Wordlessly, he extended his hand and she lay her palm across it, giving him a glance over. “You look beautiful today, Elain,” he said simply, as if they were discussing the weather.

Nuala set coffee and tea service on the table and then a basket of pastries, quiche, and smoked meats. Azriel poured Elain her tea, and then…she reached out and set a sweet bun on his plate. “Thank you,” he said a little stiffly. She wondered if she broke some protocol, some unspoken rule. “You don’t want it?” she asked awkwardly.

It was as if some strange internal battle was taking place, his eyes stormy, even if his expression remained stoic and unreadable as always. The twins looked at the two of them with the same unreadable, placid expression. He chewed his lip for a moment and then said, “Thank you. Of course I want it. But will you do me a favour?”

Elain nodded. She wanted to do him a favour. Anything he asked her, really. She’d do anything for him. As long as he held her hand like this.

“Will you eat for me?”

When she did not answer, he tried again, “It would please me very much if you ate with me. I don’t like eating alone.”

A pretty, sweet lie. Elain saw right through it. But she wanted to please him, and she was…hungry. Maybe for the first time in months, she was feeling a pang in her stomach, a clench of hunger. “Alright,” she agreed. He smiled that luminous rare smile of his and then placed a cardamom bun on her plate.

Elain sipped her tea and then bit into the bun, and it was a revelation. Suddenly, a new world opened up to her. The bun was pillowy and buttery, subtly scented with cardamom and lemon and as she chewed it, her head began to settle, and her taste buds awoke. She’d never tasted anything like this before—sweet and savoury, comforting and homey.

She didn’t know what ‘homey’ even meant anymore. Was it Greyson? It didn’t feel like Greyson. The bun didn’t feel like her old life, like the human lands. The townhouse? Velaris? Probably not either.

She raised her eyes and met a pair of forest-green ones. They watched her. They always watched her. Maybe this was home? Her new home, a dreamland inside those eyes.

“I’d like to bake,” she decided resolutely, surprising even herself.

Azriel looked at her and nodded, calm as always, like he was expecting this declaration from her, and then a quick glance at the twins. Perhaps an order? A command?

“We’d love to bake with you, Elain,” said Nuala at once, nodding as well.

“Bread, if possible?” requested Elain. The twins nodded in unison. “I’d like to learn to bake like you two,” she proposed. “And pasties. I have some recipes I can share, if you’d like.”

“Absolutely,” said Nuala.

“I make blackberry tarts,” Elain finished her cardamom bun, and then, found another one on her plate. Azriel was silent, allowing the females to talk baking. “They are quite good. It was my nanny’s recipe.”

“Blackberry tarts are Azriel’s favourite,” piped in Cerridwen, as she arrived at the table and handed Elain a folded piece of cloth.

She was rewarded for her unexpected honesty by a sharp look from Azriel, but she only shrugged and went back to the stove, to stir the porridge.

“Are they?” Elain looked at him shyly.

A small smile from him and he opened his palms to her, “They are,” he confirmed.

“Then I shall make you some,” she decided and unfolded Cerridwen’s gift. It was an apron.

Resolutely, she stood up, stuffing the rest of her bun in her mouth. “Then let’s make some bread,” she decided and tied the apron around her waist.

“You, madam, look like you are a beast with sugar and yeast,” chuckled Azriel, and the twins laughed as well.

Elain looked at the three of them—her friends. Her new friends. The four of them were friends.

Only later did she notice that Azriel did not eat the pastry that she had offered him and placed on his plate. She did not know why. But she vowed to make him something that he would eat, and enjoy.

So she stepped out of the dreamworld, never to return, and went to her new home, which smelled like fresh bread, tasted like blackberry tarts and looked like forest-green eyes.

[monsterstewwrites]

More Honey cuz I’ve gone insane

My Sheep hybrid AU Honey, from Miggiisdumb’s bnha hybrid farm au has been taking of my brain recently, so I wrote another thing for her. This time we actually see some of the smut she and farmer Shoto get up to.

I have no idea how farms work so a lot of this is guesswork and googling, also I am not a very good writer. But honestly, writing smut and sex gets me motivated anyway so here we go.

Shino belongs to one-spicy-spider and you should shower her with love.

Donovan stared into her eyes and ran his hands over her clothed breasts, her nipples hardening from the attention. The way his thumbs kneaded into the hardened buds sent shivers through her soft skin.

“Can you feel me through your dress?” He asked her, pressing himself fully against her and grinding his hips into her crotch. “The flimsy fabric you typically wear makes you practically naked, which I often love. But you're not actually nude, which can make things frustrating, as you can feel.”

Indeed, Alyssa could feel his manhood through the thin fabric of the white dress she wore, it throbbed through his own trousers and sent her into a flush.

“Do you want me?” He whispered into her ear, his hot breath making her wetter.

With a heavy swallow she nodded, and Donovan grinned and reached for the straps of her dress and pulled it apart with a hard ripping sound.

Her hands instinctively tried to cover herself, but he used one hand to grab her wrists and pinned them above her head. She could feel his long fingers twist down her skin and tightening around her joints, locking her into that position.

The now tattered dress fell to the floor as he snaked his massive hand down between her legs and pressed his entire palm against her dripping pussy and tapped lightly against her folds. She groaned at the gentle touch, hoping for him to pressing rougher.

“Do you want it rougher?” He said to her. “Do you want my fingers to treat you mean?”

“Please!” Alyssa cried. “Take me, open me and use me as you please!”

Donovan pushed his fingers inside her and kissed into her neck, teeth grazing her skin and his tongue working around her neck and squeezing, not to strangle her, but to feel her heartbeat against one of his most sensitive appendages.

She loved the way that his long fingers reached inside her in ways no one else could, and she groaned out in pleasure as he felt around inside her.

“Take me with your cock,” she moaned out. “Fill my cunt with your barbs and never let me go.”

“Sheepy, earth to sheepy!”

Honey snapped the book closed, her face aflame and legs squirming slightly as she pressed the book against her chest. She looked up at the sight of Doctor Keigo looking down at her with a smirk on his face.

“Enjoying yourself?” He asked.

She winced and stuffed her smut back into the little pocket of her wool.

When she went over to Doctor Keigo's office for her checkup he had said it was okay for her to take the book she had been reading, and he once said as log as it kept her from being too nervous she could keep doing so.

They both forgot how much of a distraction her reading habits could be.

“I'm glad to know you're enjoying my gift,” the vet said to her as she turned back to him. “One person's trash really is another person's treasure and all that, still it'd be nice if you paid a pinch attention during your checkup.”

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“No worries Sheepy,” he said. “Some people get sucked into it more than others. Now let me check your vitals to you can head back to the barn and finish that bodice ripper.”

He took out his stethoscope and began checking her heartbeat.

“It's a bit fast,” he muttered. “Though I have a good guess why that is.”

Honey stuck her tongue out at him, proof that she was getting more used to him and could be comfortable around with without fear.

“I know you first got into them for research,” he said idly. “You wanna get more ideas for how to better seduce the lads around here, most likely Shoto because you're more of a nightingale than a sheep most days.”

Honey pouted, he had insisted that before but she didn't think so. She didn't like him because he saved her or anything, she liked him because when she was scared and alone he was kind to her and made her feel like this new place was home.

That was completely different.

“I'm not a sexy cow,” she said. “I can't just make him suck my boobs the way he does with the cows, I wanna be able to walk all sexy and make him hard just as our eyes meet.”

Her fancy description and wistful tone made Keigo throw her a look, she really had been diving into those books a lot hadn't she?

“You really don't need at that faff to seduce someone, you know,” he said. “Men aren't complicated, and it's not like you've never screwed him before.”

“Well, yeah,” Honey admitted as she turned around and leaned over as far as she could without falling. “But I can barely ask for normal sex, what about that fancy sex I keep reading about and wanna try? The one where the princess was taken on the ship and tied to the mast, and the Octopus King saved her from the pirates and pleasured her while pulling the boat she was still tied to to his kingdom is still one of my favorites.”

Keigo paused in his checking of her spine.

“Was that was that one was about?” He muttered.

Honey ignored him and straightened herself back up, a few of her spinal joints popping as she stretched slightly.

“Is it so bad to wanna feel like a pretty damsel being rescued by her strong prince sometimes?” She asked, voice growing shy by her admission.

Keigo wrote something down on his clipboard with an amused sigh.

“Honestly considering what usually goes down around here that's probably pretty tame,” he admitted. “Stick your tongue out for me.”

She complied with each of his instructions and made a 'blah' to show him her tongue, checkups were kinda boring of she were being honest. Luckily only a few more things needed to be checked up on anyway, and he soon was able to finish things up with her.

“Alright Sheepy,” He said. “Everything looks to be in order her, you need me to escort you back to your pen?”

“No thank you,” Honey said. “I'm fine, goodbye doctor.”

“Next time I'll being you a series,” he said as she slipped out the door. “You're one of my most manageable patients, so I have to reward that somehow.”

He threw her a little wink and laughed at her flustered reaction, slamming the door behind her.

Doctor Keigo doing that always spurred her into a run, sprinting back to her pen where she could finish her book in relative peace.

The barn was usually pretty empty around this time of day, most of the other animals being milked or sheared or fucked.

Sometimes they fucked in the barn itself, but the hay had yet to be replaced and most of the hybrids preferred clean hay to roll around in.

Honey arrived at the barn hoping to find a bit of quiet, curl up under her blanket and read and get a few more ideas to become more confidant in herself. Sometimes she got so absorbed in her novels that she didn't even notice that sex was happening in the pen right next to her.

She didn't expect what she saw when she entered the barn made for the sheep to get to her pen.

“What?”

Amber eyes flashed at her as a stranger stared at her in silence.

A raccoon hybrid was rooting around in Honey's little pen and had strewn her novels all over the place, nearly all of them in tatters. Ripped out pages littered the floor and the cover of 'A midsummer night's cream' was sticking out of the raccoon's mouth as well as a few strings of the she's blanket.

Honey wasn't a violent hybrid by nature, in fact she was probably the least physically assertive (or any kind of assertive) hybrid in the the entire farm.

But when she saw what this stranger had done to her belongings and sleeping space something inside her snapped.

“NO!” She screamed, running towards the offending trespasser with her little hands in fists as she bounded over the fencing to get to her. “Get away! Those are mine!”

She tried to throw a punch at the raccoon, but was caught off guard by the little pest swiftly spinning around and swinging a knife wildly at Honey, slicing into her arm. A manic laugh erupted from her feral throat at her own actions.

But unluckily for the raccoon, Honey was loud when she was both scared and hurt.

She screamed as loud as she could, praying that someone could hear her, and she grabbed the raccoon by the roots of her scraggly blonde hair to make sure she couldn't escape. Another attempt to swing the knife resulted in Honey using her other hand to grip the grimy raccoon wrist in exchange for the blade nicking her skin.

“Geh!” The raccoon let out a harsh grunt as Honey pulled the sloppy hair. “Gedoffa me you stupid farmie brat!”

She pulled her arm away from Homey's losing her knife in the process, and swiped out at Honey's body, and the sheep was thankful for the level of wool she had accumulated because the claws protected her flesh from being sliced into.

Instead they tangled up into the wool itself which was less than ideal.

The pair of them ended up tussling amongst the scattered papers, with the raccoon trying to pry free from Honey and Honey herself trying to keep her in place despite the pain of her wool getting snagged.

Blood from her knife wounds trickled down her arm as the sheep hybrid tightened her grip on the raccoon's scraggly hair, one of the twin buns coming loose as she held fast.

It hurt really bad and she was scared out of her mind but she was too angry to let go.

The raccoon girl hissed as her claws managed to get free from the wool, tearing a chunk of it out in the process. She dug her hands into the arm that was grabbing at her hair and cause the sheep to let go.

“That's it!” The pest shrieked. “I'll teach you to mess with my rummaging!”

She drew her clawed fingers back and swiped at Honey's face, the sheep closed her eyes and braced for impact.

A sudden clang interrupted the pain and she felt herself get pulled away.

She blinked in confusion before realizing that she was in Shoto's arms, one hand wrapped protectively around her while the other held held a large empty bucket.

The raccoon was doubled over, clutching her head.

“Shoto!” Honey breathed.

“Damn you!” The raccoon cried out. “Don't interfere you asshole!”

Shoto looked like he was going to swing his bucket again, but something stopped him. A rush of air from above as something else literally flew into the barn and landed atop the fencing of the pen.

The barn owl hybrid Shino stared down at the scene with fury in her eyes.

The raccoon stared back.

“Well shit.”

Shino let out a screech, spreading her wings to their fullest and causing the raccoon to let out a shriek and turned around to run, but Shino was faster. The owl hybrid was on her in a second, pinning down her prey with her mighty talons.

The raccoon could only kick and scream as she was held fast.

Honey stared in awe at the sight of how easily Shino had apprehended that horrible raccoon, and made a mental note to thank her in some way once everything was set back to normal.

Glancing at the tatters of her books below, she wondered if she could make a flower crown out of the papers for her. She'd look super pretty with one, not that she didn't look pretty already.

At the barn doors many cows gathered to try and take a peek at what had happened, the heifers who could see the mess whispering to the cows in back and sending the whispers of gossip throughout them.

A few of the cows could see that Honey was bleeding, and that only got them more abuzz with interest. Shoto ignored them in favor of putting his bucket down and checking up on the little sheep in his arms.

“Thank you,” Shoto said to Shino. “I was afraid I'd have to hold it off myself.”

“No problem, I'm just sad I didn't catch her earlier. Hey! Quit kicking,” Shino snapped as other farmers and hybrids arrived at the barn to see what the fuss was about. “Don't make me rip that nasty head of yours off.”

While Shino was threatening, Iida barged in, pushing past the gossipy cows and taking a look at the situation in all it's chaos. When his eyes fell on the raccoon hybrid beneath Shino he actually recoiled at the sight of her.

“What on earth is she doing in here?” He asked. “How did she get in?”

“Maybe we can get the details out of her later,” Shoto told him. “Right now we should take care of Honey.”

He looked over her and took stock of the injuries she had sustained in her scuffle. All of a sudden the gravity of what had just happened hit her like a ton of bricks, the pain of her wounds coming to her now that the adrenaline was wearing off. She threw herself deeper into Shoto's chest and let out a tired sob.

“I'll take care of her,” he said to Iida. “You take care of that thing.”

“Bring her here Todoroki,” A voice said, silencing the gossiping cows. Doctor Keigo walking inside with a medical kit at his side and Izuku trailing behind.

Shino's feathers puffed up in irritation at the sight of Keigo, but given the situation she didn't move from her grip atop the intruder as he stood just outside the pen.

Keigo kept his distance and gave a nod to Izuku, who approached with a long pole with a looped steel cable.

Izuku quickly looped the snare around the raccoon's neck, only giving Shino the okay to let her up once he was sure it was secure.

“Keep one talon on her,” Keigo advised. “Take her to my office and don't take your eyes off her for a second. I have a friend who can make sure she isn't diseased and take her back to wherever she came from.”

It was clear that the great owl Hybrid wasn't keen on going to his office, but since he seemed to be staying behind to take a look at her little sheep friend.

Only slightly reluctantly, Shino and Izuku led the raccoon, who had begun laughing like a lunatic for some reason, and the onlooking cows hooted jeers and jabs at her.

“Now now!” Iida shouted at the crowd of hybrids looking on. “Nothing to see here everyone, go back about your day, unless you would like to help clean this mess up!”

That made them scatter, most back to their milking or fucking.

“I'll cover you for today,” Iida said to Shoto. “You make sure she's alright, I know she likes you best so it'll be quickest if it's in your hands.”

The way his face pinked a little bit told Shoto all he needed to know about where his mind was at as he walked outside where the remainder of the cows were waiting for him.

Not that either of them were complaining.

Setting her down, Shoto took Honey's sliced up arms and winced at the sight of them. He hated the sight of anyone on this farm hurt, and reaching for the medical supplies that Keigo placed nearby he carefully got about disinfecting her injuries.

She winced at the disinfectant rubbing into her wounds but remained still so Shoto could do his job. Once he was done he pressed his hand to her cheek, which she leaned into and kissed his palm.

Nearby, Keigo was examining the knife that had been used to stab at Honey.

“Looks like she swiped this from somewhere on the farm,” he said. “That means it's not likely to have any diseases on it, so that's a bit of good news here. I'll take a blood sample just in case, but I don't think you have anything to worry about, especially since you've been given shots to prevent this sort of thing.”

“That's good,” Shoto said as he bandaged up her injuries. “You've been really brave so far, can you hold still so he can do that?”

She nodded, but leaned into Shoto's chest anyway as Keigo pulled out a hypodermic needle and drew closer. No one liked needles on the farm, but she knew better than to kick up a fuss about it after everything and let him draw a bit of blood.

Once he had taken his sample he stood up so he could head out to get it checked out.

“I'll leave it to you two then,” he said. “You kids play nice.”

Shoto ignored him, and the joke flew over Honey's head as she looked at the mess made of her pen. He laughed as the barn doors closed behind him and left them alone.

Honey sighed sadly as she bent down to pick up the destroyed books that were scattered around her pen, the sadness of losing them creeping back to her.

“I can't believe that horrible thing destroyed all my books,” she said sadly. “I loved them all and now they're ruined. I might be able to figure out how to make the scraps into something pretty, but it's sad that I won't be able to read them anymore.”

“'Tonio gazed into Angelica's eyes and gave her full rump a squeeze, causing a grunt to erupt from her throat. He wanted to make that sound fill his mind forever, and he had just in instrument to do so.'” Shoto read from one of the papers, his eyebrows raising with each word. “This is some intense stuff, you know.”

Honey flushed and tried to grab at the papers, but he snatched it out of her reach with a teasing grin.

“Were you hoping to get some ideas?” He asked.

She was about to deny it, but she realized that the look in his eye was a chance that he was giving her. Honey swallowed and said the first thing she could think of.

“So what if I was?”

That was all he needed to hear.

Shoto pressed a kiss to her forehead, then another above her eye, and her nose, and finally to her soft lips.

She hummed into his kiss, feeling everything around them melt away. Her mouth opened instinctively and allowed him to push his tongue against hers as he gently guided her backwards until her back hit the pile of hay in the corner.

His hands ran across her soft body, fondling her chest as he kissed her and traveling lower and lower. One hand hooked under one leg and hitched it up to allow better access to the lovely pussy that was aching for him.

She moaned into his mouth as he fingered at her delicate clit, rubbing small circles into it with her thumb as his fingers probed her sloppy little hole.

Honey's hands gripped around his neck and pulled him closer to her, as close as they could possibly manage. He took the chance to nip at her neck, at that spot he knew drove her crazy as his fingers pumped in and out of her and curled his fingers just so, making tremors shake her body as she spilled over his hand.

“You,” she panted. “You were like my knight in shining bucket.”

That made him laugh against her neck, his teeth scraping against her skin and savoring the feel of her pulse beneath his tongue.

He wanted to make sure she was completely ready for him, loosening her walls so there wouldn't be any pain. She's already gone through enough after all.

After another few moments, he pulled his fingers out of her and reached for the fly of his pants.

“I'm you're knight eh?” He muttered as he fumbled with the zipper. “In that case...”

The sounds she made had made him achingly hard, and he could tell she had been thinking about his erection for a long time as he freed it from it's confines. She looked hungry for it, as much as he was for her.

“Allow me to claim my reward from the lovely maiden then.”

Honey felt like Princess Stella from one of her favorite novels, and she bit her lip in anticipation as her legs spread more, as much as she could manage.

Shoto ran a hand along her thigh, gentle and loving.

“Well then, are you ready for me?” he whispered into her ear. “Ready for your knight to take you?”

“Please,” she moaned. “Oh please fuck me, I can't wait anymore.”

Shoto gripped her legs and spread them as wide as she could comfortably manage and pressed his length into her aching pussy with a groan, the wetness from his earlier treatment allowing him to slide in until he was balls deep.

They both let out guttural moans that were practically in harmony.

“You alright?” He asked, not moving an inch until he was sure she was good about it.

She was stuffed so full of him that all she could do was nod, allowing him to pull away from her and slam back inside against her cervix, making her head fall back with her tongue lolling out of her mouth as he fucked into her until she could barely think straight.

“Oh god,” she moaned, bouncing against his relentless pounding. “Oh yes, please yes! More, please.”

The panting she made and the bounce of her breasts against his pounding only spurred him on further, and he repositioned her legs further until they were pushed up against her ears. It felt like heaven for both of them as fucked deeper into her.

Honey was on cloud nine, only able to think of the sensation of the man above her rearranging her insides. She reached a trembling hand down to where the pair of them were connected so she could continue at her clit. The sight was too delicious and Shoto felt the pressure building up inside him reach a peak, but he did everything in his power to hold off as he mercilessly pounded away.

The two of them filled the air of the barn with their gasps and moans until Honey began to feel her orgasm reach a boil.

“Please,” she panted. “Cum, I wan' cum. Come inside me, please!”

Her begging was enough to push him further towards the edge, and she felt the tension inside her was wound tighter and tighter as he hammered into her even harder.

It was impossible to tell how long they went on for, until a wave of bliss crashed over her with a loud cry. Her back arched sinfully and her walls clamped around his length and triggered an orgasm of his own.

He pressed against her as he emptied his load inside her, filling her up with his cum.

Bliss.

The pair of them panted against each other, their high winding down but they didn't dare move or the feeling would dissipate quicker.

Shoto pressed a kiss to Honey's neck after a moment.

“Good girl,” he panted.

Carefully he pulled out, watching as a few dribbled of his seed spilled from her. She looked up at him with a smile and longing in her eyes.

“Shall we clean up now?” He asked.

“Let's wait just another moment,” Honey said. “This feels too nice.”

He smiled, Iida had told him to take care of her after all. This was all part of the job and who was he to go against his orders?

And she was so soft and perfect to snuggle up with.

It wasn't until an hour later that they were able to get themselves to clean up the pen, saving the paper so Honey could make a lovely crown of paper flowers for her other hero.

She was sad to see her lovely stories go, but considering the fallout she could deem the acceptable losses.

Besides, between doctor Keigo and other farmers hearing what had happened, she soon had more than enough donations to replace it with.

[vangoghmusings]

watch me

part 11- exclusive

✖ previously: asl club

✖ pairing: daichi sawamura x fem!reader

✖ rating: mature, read at your own risk-- this chapter is much more explicit that previous ones. 

✖ synopsis: college frat boy daichi’s world is turned upside down when he learns his classmate is actually a very popular cam-girl.

a/n: this chapter is VERY NSFW Y’ALL OK?? please read only if you’re 17+!! this chapter is also written out for...reasons. enjoy <3 

Terushima knocked on the door to Y/N’s dorm with anticipation. To be frank, he didn’t think his intimidation would work. But he had the definitive proof that Y/N was Cherry Baby, so why not use this as an opportunity? He had always flirted with Y/N as a joke, most of the time at least. As the semester progressed and they got closer, maybe he did develop some feelings for her. He shook his head at the vulnerable thought, plastering a smirk across his face as the door opened.  

“Hey baby girl.”  

Leaning against the door frame was Y/N dressed in snuggly in a bathrobe. She gave him a warm smile and let him inside.  

“Hi Teru, welcome! I don’t think you’ve been in my dorm before have you?”  

He shook his head while scanning the small apartment-like space. One bedroom, a bathroom, a very tiny living room space and a small kitchenette. It seemed like a cardboard box compared to the frat’s mansion.

“Uh no I haven’t. You don’t have a roommate?”  

“No, Kiyoko transferred schools last year so I got a single for the following semesters.”  

Terushima nodded and looked down at Y/N, who seemed completely unbothered by his presence. No irritation, no shame or fear, just pure calm. It was unlike her.  

An alarm went off from within Y/N’s bedroom.  

“Oh! It’s 3:45!”  

Y/N stepping into her room, Teru following closely behind.  

“I never let anyone in my room Teru.”  

It made sense. There was the infamous daybed of Cherry Baby, almost unrecognizable underneath the immense number of stuffed animals scattered on top. There was a computer and monitor sitting on a desk, as well as lights and a film camera. The space was incredibly make shift for someone who had become so popular off of the videos.  

Terushima turned to Y/N who was moving her desk chair over to him.  

“Sit please!” She said sweetly. Terushima chuckled and sat down, waiting for Y/N’s next move.  

“You always make comments about how kinky I am Teru,” she purred while grabbing a small velvet bag from the side of her bed. “But how do you match up?”  

Terushima cocked his brow and puffed out his chest like a bird trying to impress a mate.  

“Well I’m not vanilla-”  

“Good,” Y/N hissed while swiftly whipping out a pair of metal hand-cuffs, quickly and tightly cuffing Terushima’s wrist’s behind his back. “These were a gift from a viewer. And now I finally get to use them.”  

“Y-Y/N,” Terushima chuckled nervously. Who was the girl in front of him? This was nothing like the studious and nervous Y/N that sat next to him in class and scolded him for texting during lectures.  

“These, however, I’ve had for a while,” She said while kneeling in front of him. With calm ease, Y/N took a rope and tied his ankles to the desk chair.  

“Jesus Christ, Y/N are you going to murder me?”  

“C’mon Teru, I thought you said you weren’t vanilla?”

The laugh that fell from her mouth while she reached for another bag sent a shiver down Terushima’s spine. It was haunting, how she walked around the small room with power in each step, slowly but surely, dominating the space.  

“This, is going to be my favorite though.”  

Terushima’s eyes widened in shock as Y/N held a ball gag in her hands.  

“You can’t be serious-”  

“Oh, I’m very serious,” she snarled, stepping forward and cupping Terushima’s face in her hand. He stared at her eyes, a slight tint of fear behind the gleam of rage that covered her irises. “Open up.”  

“Y/N I’m not going to be your submissive little play thing-ACK!”  

“If you learned to keep your mouth shut maybe you wouldn't have a ball in it right now.”  

Y/N smirked while buckling it down.  

Terushima tried to speak but it just resulted with drool to pool at his bottom lip. He looked so weak and angry and Y/N was reveling in every moment.  

“Now,” she said while setting her hand on his shoulder and looking down at him. “I have work to do. You’re going to sit here like a good boy and if you make a sound, I will tell everyone about the time you threw up in Kenma’s bathtub while blacked out and naked.”  

Unable to reply, Terushima narrowed his eyes at Y/N.  

“You’re going to watch me, because that’s all you’ll ever be able to do. You’ll never lay a finger on me Terushima. And if you run off after this and tell everyone about who I am, then I’ll happily tell everyone how you loved being my little bitch the entire time. You wanted the Cherry baby exclusive, so here it is.”  

Y/N let go of his shoulder and stepped back to take off her robe. Terushima watched as the girl he had been longing for, the one who had tie him up, threatened him, was now standing in front of him in lingerie that fit her oh so perfectly. He couldn’t tell if he was crazy for trying to expose her in the first place or that this was happening.  

“Just so you know,” she said while putting the infamous mask over her face. “I think about Daichi when I do my shows.”  

The words felt like a punch in the stomach. He should have never tried to out her to the world.  

Terushima watched as Y/N moved the stuffed animals from her bed and turned the camera on. She positioned herself on her bed, waiting for the green light to signal she was live.  

Green.  

“Hello everyone! Its Cherry Baby and I’m so glad you guys could join me tonight!”  

Terushima watched Y/N’s every move. He was furious, ashamed and felt absolutely pitiful. But none of those emotions could stop the hard-on from growing in his pants. At this point, he was drooling heavily down his neck, taking sharp inhales from his nose as he watched Y/N spread her legs for the camera. She hummed lewd words while touching herself.  

The more things escalated, the more Terushima felt at Y/N’s mercy. Here he was tied up with a gag in his mouth like a hog, rubbing his thighs together to grant himself some relief. It didn’t help when wet noises and Y/N’s moans filled the small room.  

He was hypnotized by the sight but consumed by guilt. That was his friend. Sure, he could touch himself to the thought of Cherry Baby, but Y/N was a different being to him.  Yet there he was grinding down against his thighs while watching his friend fuck themselves in front of a camera.  

Terushima watched as Y/N’s chest rose and fell in anticipation for her climax. Trying his best to keep pace he continued his best attempts at grind down. Y/N was chanting, practically babbling as she fucked herself, legs shaking in anticipation.  

“Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- D-Daichi!”  

Terushima’s eyes widened in horror. Y/N hadn’t realized her mistake yet, as she continued to ride out her orgasm. His instinct to protect Y/N instantly killed the boner in his pants. He tried his best to push the gag out of his mouth, only to wind up drooling more on himself. He looked around panicked, unable to stop the live stream.  

Y/N sat up and fanned herself, laughing softly, still unaware.  

“Thanks again for joining me everyone! Have a good night!”  

Y/N stood up, turned off the camera and turned to Terushima.  

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  

She unbuckled the gag and let it fall from his mouth, his mouth wet from his drool. But he didn’t care as he procceeded to look at Y/N in panic.  

“You have to take down that video now, Daichi watches it and-”  

“Wait Daichi watches me?”

“What? Yes but Y/N, you-you said his name!”  

Y/N paused and looked at Terushima.  

“What?”  

“When, when you came...you said his name.”  

taglist [CLOSED]: @jr-j-j @thebatwrangler @johariameil @mixfi @lilacskyura @katsushimaa @moonlightinsanity @anime-waifuuu @iiminibattlehero @@hay-leeeah @bby-chloe1999 @verymuchbabey @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that @unknownweeabo @cookednoodlez @helloshoutohere @star-mum @izuku-sakura @thegalxe @kiddiegore @xizimagines @lunabby010 @unknown-jpg @marigoldthoughts @himurayuumi6 @ihatemyselfbutthatsok @pensysto @boosyboo9206 @dekumiya @aristatrois @nekoma-hoe @paranoid-borderline-insane @issueswithhaikyuu @alltimeluw @cashmakozume @eroujo @taxkuu @whyamihere-bro @shoutosteakettle @alchemykitten @bigdickdaichi @hofortendou @skyguy-peach @8zmingi @kingkagss @tetsuswhore @ceo-of-daichi @emiawa @cloudykarasuno @ushiwakaismybae @btssintrash @konohasoftgf @axolotleyeliner @fangeekkk @denkisdurag​ 

[lovlydovlyjaycie]

Ævi - The Protector

Hey, so this is going to be a mini series on something I have tried to do before. But I thought of a different way to make it shorter and to make it make more sense. I hope you like it, this idea has been in my head for honestly.. a couple of years now lol. I just decided I really want to put it down somewhere. And where is better than here? Am I right?! lol

Summary: This is set in 2010. There are no such things as superheroes. Right? Maybe Iron Man, but that is it. It has to be. Y/n was just trying to celebrate her birthday, but that quickly changed when she got a gift from a mysterious man.

Warnings: Non so far

Characters: Y/n, Bjorn Ironside, Ragnar Lothbrok, OC Emma, OC Lars, OC Sanna, OC Nils, OC David Mentioned: Iron Man, Odin

Part 1

It was Summer 2010, my birthday. Growing up I always thought there is no such thing as super heroes. But recently that has changed. Now there is a man that calls himself Iron Man. It sounded insane. But I thought, of course America needs another crazy thing to stand out with. I never expected something like that to happen here, Goteborg Sweden. Never, not in a million years, but it did. On my birthday of all days. It’s a long story..

Like I said it started on my birthday. It was a warm Summer day. I had planned to celebrate my birthday in the woods, so we were all allowed to do whatever. We were celebrating me twentieth birthday. I was so excited, I got to see a lot of my old friends from high school, college and even some from middle school.

My friend Emma, Lars and Sanna were helping me getting all the liquor. “So many people are gonna come! It’s like a reunion, we haven’t seen a lot of people since high school.” Emma cheered. She was always so excited to party. I’ll have to say me too. I loved being with my friends and having a great time.. drinking.. but also seeing everybody of course. Sanna was always a little on the background she doesn’t like to be the center of attention. Totally fine. And Lars I met in college. He also doesn’t really care for parties. Just for the guys that might be there. And I totally get that.

“I’m excited too! Can’t wait to hear what everybody has been up to.” I smiled at Emma. She has been my best friend since we were basically babies. We’ve always been inseparable, you could say that we are sisters at this point.

After we got all the alcohol from the liquor store we went to the woods. We brought a lot, but everybody is also bringing their own stuff. This is going to be a crazy night.

-

So many people had shown up. I also think that people just heard there was a party and came, cause there are some faces I’ve never seen before.

When it was getting darker people started turning on the lights of their cars. It gave such a cool effect. Lars was standing next to me. “So the people from your town.. how openminded are they?” He said questionably. “Pretty openminded.. and I heard that Sven over there with the yellow shirt is very openminded.” I smiled at him. “Hmm, I’m gonna check him out for his openmindedness.. I’ll report back to you.” He said walking away. I laughed at that.

“Hey can you help for a second?” Emma came running towards me. I turned around a bit startled. “Yeah, what happened?” I asked her. “Somebody got his car stuck and we need to push it out.” “And you think I’m strong enough to push a car out?” I asked smirking. “Well.. No.. But the guy who got the car stuck is Nils.. aaannddd I know you have had a crush on him since forever. Soo.. just come.” She said as she pulled me by my arm towards where ever that car was. I did have a crush on Nils, but that was high school and I haven’t seen him in two years. So I don’t know if those feelings were still very accurate.

Coming closer to Nils’s car I saw him standing by it with one other guy I haven’t seen before. His friend was quite short. “Hey Nils! I found some muscle.” Emma said pointing at me. Nils turned around. Yep, I definitely still have a crush on him. He had dark curly hair and dark blue eyes. “Hi.” I said awkwardly. “Hey! It’s been a while! Happy birthday y/n!” He said as he gave me a hug. “Thank you.” I smiled at him. “So.. you got your car stuck?” He looked down a bit embarrassed. “Yup, I’m an idiot. Would you mind helping?” “I don’t mind, I do have the muscle after all.” I said as I gave Emma a pointed look. “Alright I think me, David and you can push the car and Emma you sit in the car to reverse it... Oh sorry this is David by the way.” He gave me a wave. “Well sounds good to me.” Emma said and went to sit in Nils’s car.

“Ok, you ready? lets push.” We were standing in front of the car with our hands on the hood. We were all trying to push it and Emma was pushing the reverse. But nothing was happening. “Alright again, give it all you got!” Nils said jokingly. I took a deep breath trying to push the car as hard as I could. And then it almost flew back. “Wow! Nice! I really didn’t want to call someone for this. Guess the reverse finally worked.” Nils said as Emma climbed out of the car a little out of it. “That was no reverse.” She said. “Oh well. It’s out, that’s all I care about.” Coming closer to the car I saw two small dents where I had put my hands to push the car. Did I?.. I shook my head. It had to be the reverse. “Well thanks for helping me.” Nils said turning to me. “Yes, no problem.” I smiled at him and I felt my cheeks turning hot. “So how have you been all this time?” He asked. “Good, uhmm, I’m studying history right now. Very interesting.” He smiled at that. “You always loved that subject.” “How’d you know?” I asked him. “Well I sat behind you in class. I could see how well you payed attention to that.” And I felt my cheeks turning hotter. “You didn’t like history then?” I asked avoiding his gaze. I didn’t want him to see me blush. “Not really, but I liked the class. There was this girl I had a huge crush on.” Now I was trying to avoid his gaze to not look disappointed. “Oh who?” I asked. “You.” He laughed. But I could only stare at him with big eyes. “What! Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked shocked. “Well you also didn’t tell me.” He said as a matter of fact. “Well is als.. Wait, how did you know?” I asked him. “Emma just told me.” I turned around. “Em.. Where did she go?” She and David had left us by the car. I looked around and in the distance I could see her waving at me. I just gave her the finger.

“Welp.. the secret is out then I guess, that’s embarrassing.” I said. “No it’s not, cause now I can ask you on a date.” I was again a little shocked how easy this was. “So, waht do you say? Do you wanna go on a date with me?” He asked. “Yes, sure, I’d like that.” I don’t think the smile I had on my face will ever leave. “Great! you wanna take a walk and just catch up right now?” I nodded my head. This is the best birthday ever.

We had been walking for a little bit, just walking around where the party was at. Some people went in to the woods to do some ‘funny business’ Like nobody would notice.

“What is the era you’re studying right now?” Nils asked after a while. “Right now it’s everything Viking. Pretty interesting really. About their beliefs and how they lived also the language. Some important figures in that time as well.” He nodded. “You like that era?” He looked at me. “Yes, I feel like a lot of Sweden is shaped on the era and...” “Happy birthday.” A tall man said to me in English. He handed me a gift and a card. Looking back up the tall man had already turned around and walked away. “Who was that?” Nils asked. “I don’t know.” I told him. “I’m just.. gonna check I guess.. that was strange.” I said as I walked the direction the man went. “Do you want me to come with you?” Nils asked. “No I’m fine!” I yelled back as I picked up my speed.

I was walking further into the forest. I could hear the people from the party in the distance. It was very dark out here so I got the flashlight of my phone to try and see better. When I shone it up I was startled by a figure. “GOD!” It was Sanna. “What are you doing out here?” I asked her. “I was following you.. Who goes out into a forest by themselves.” She stated. It was kind of stupid of me to do, I could get lost. “Why are you out here?” She asked. “This man who spoke English gave me a gift and then walked away towards here.” She gave me a look. “And you decided to follow this strange man by yourself.” Sanna said as she crossed her arms. “I guess that was not very smart of me.” “Nope it certainly was not. What did he give you anyway?”

I looked at the gift and the card the man gave me. I decided to open the card first. ‘Happy birthday! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’ In English again. Sanna was looking over my shoulder. “Do you know anybody that speaks English?” She asked. “No I don’t.” In the card there was a drawing of a tree. “That looks like Yggdrasil.” I said quietly. “What is that?” Sanna asked. “It’s Viking.. It’s the tree of life or it’s what they believed the tree of life is.” I explained. “What’s in the box?” It was wrapped in white paper with a golden bow. I pulled on the bow and opened the box. In it there was a white rock with a golden glow to it. Something in me wanted me to touch it and never let go. Like I needed to protect it with all my strength. I had never seen this rock before, but it felt like it was part of me. Like a stuffed animal you got when you were a baby and had sentimental feelings for, no one could touch it, it was yours. That was what it felt like. I decided to pick the rock up out of the little box. It fit in my hand perfectly.

“It could be a nice.. big necklace?” Sanna said a little questionably. I decided to humor her and put it up to my chest. When I did It started glowing white and gold. I tried to pull the rock away from my chest but it was stuck. All of a sudden there were these golden white lights swimming around me. “What are you doing?! Drop the rock!” Sanna said distraught. “I can’t!” I yelled. This was freaking me out, what were these lights. Sanna came over to me trying to grab the rock from me. But when she touched it she flew back in the air. The lights became brighter and brighter. They were almost blinding me. I finally was able to let go of the rock, but it didn’t drop it was going into my chest. It was burning me I had never felt this kind of pain before. I was screaming my lungs out. It hurt so much. And my eyes were hurting from all the bright lights surrounding me. I put both my hands over my eyes to shield them. As soon as I did I felt like I was floating, but as soon as that feeling came it went away and I landed on the ground with a thud.

Looking around I was in the same place in the woods as I was before It was only day now. The trees looked smaller. Or did I become a lot bigger. I looked around me for Sanna, but she was nowhere to be seen. I only saw the card laying next to me. I picked it up. And gave it another look. I looked around for the stone, nut it was gone. “What the hell was that?” I said under my breath. I tried to find the rock that.. I don’t know what it did. It must’ve been a dream. But I couldn’t find the rock anywhere. I stood up and decided to walk back to where the party was before. Maybe if it’s early enough there are still some people. But when I got there nobody was there. But it looked like nobody had ever been there. I decided to walk to the spot where Nils’s car got stuck, but even the tires that had damaged the ground before was gone. “How long was I out for?” I asked nobody but myself. Looking around there were no traces at all of anybody. How is that possible? I decided to walk towards the road. It wasn’t too far. But even the dirt road that would lead to the main road was not there. Was I lost? It did seem like the same place only the trees looked smaller for some reason. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” The main road was also gone. What was happening?

I looked around again, just for any sign of anybody. I have to be lost. Looking around again I saw a dark figure in the far distance. It looked like a woman. “Hello?! I think I might be lost, where is the nearest city?!” I Yelled at her. But there was no answer. “Hello?!” I did not want to stay here so I decided to walk towards her. As I came closer I could kind of make out her face. She had high cheekbones and eyes that felt like they were staring into your soul. “Hello?!” I yelled again.

All of a sudden there was a knife being put to my throat. “Who are you?!” I was taken a back. “Uhm I.. I’m y/n. I’m just lost, if I was trespassing I’m so sorry.. I., I just don’t know where I am.” I was stammering. “Who where you talking to?” The man asked. “That lady over.. there..” But she was gone. “Are you with the English?” He asked. “I.. No I’m not with the English. Look I don’t know what happened. Something strange happened and now I’m here. I don’t know where I am and I just.. I don’t know what happened just please don’t kill me.” I begged him. He pressed the knife closer to my throat for a second before putting it away. “Come with me.” He said while grabbing me elbow and dragging me with him. “Where are you taking me?” I asked struggling to get out of his grip, but he didn’t answer only held me tighter. “Who are you?” I asked. “Bjorn.” He said and looked down at me.

He had a few scars on his face. Now really looking at him he looked out of time. His clothes or armor looked Viking. His hair was braided but the sides of his head were shaved. On his belt there was a sword. It looked Viking as well. “Where are you taking me?” I tried again. But nothing. This time I was hitting him just trying anything for him to let me go. “You’re making it harder for yourself.” He said as he tried to grab my other arm. “No!” I yelled and he flew back by a golden white force. I froze. Did I do that? I looked at my arms and they were glowing that same glow I had when I touched the stone and then it slowly faded away.

I looked up at the man named Bjorn. I didn’t mean to do that. He looked just as shocked as I felt. He slowly stood up and put his hand on his sword. “I didn’t mean to do that. I’m so sorry.” I said. “What are you?” He asked. “I.. Human?” I mean how do you answer a question like that.. “Who send you?” He asked probably trying to understand what happened. “I.. Look I don’t know how I got here and what’s going on.. I just don’t know, ok?” I told Bjorn. He looked up at the sky. I followed his gaze up. But there were just clouds. “Did He send you?” He asked looking at me. “Who?” I was a bit confused by the question. “Odin. Did Odin send you?” That only confused me more. And then in the distance there was a snap of a twig. Bjorn quickly pulled out his sword in the direction the sound came from. He quietly walked over to me. “Come with me, I will not hurt you.” I looked around towards where the twig snapped briefly before nodding. “Just please tell me where you’re taking me.” He nodded before we started walking again. “To Kattegat. You’re going to see my father, Ragnar Lothbrok. He is the king.” What? that didn’t make any sense. “Is this real?” I wondered out loud. “What?” Bjorn asked me. Did I fall back in time? That’s not possible.. Right? But Bjorn looks like he really dresses like that. It doesn’t look like some kind of costume. I sighed. I’m just going to ask. “What year is it?” He stopped in his tracks. “What?” I sighed again. “What year is it?” He looked confused. “Its nine-hundred-sixty-five.” I looked at him with big eyes. “Can we go now?” He asked and started walking and I followed him straight away. “If your father is Ragnar Lothbrok.. Does that make you Bjorn Ironside?” Now he stopped in his tracks again. “How do you know that? You were send by Odin right. He’s the all father.” I didn’t know how to answer that. How do I explain I know this, because non of this made any sense. “I.. I just.. know?” I didn’t know how else to answer that question. He searched my eyes trying to see if the answer was there. But he didn’t say anything. He just motioned for me to follow him again.

-

After a while of walking we came to a town. It looked outdated. the houses looked like the ones I have seen in books, but now they’re really here. They looked old, but you could see they were just made. The people in the town all kind of looked the same like Bjorn. They either had armor on or wore dresses I had seen in museums and books. Now I felt like the one out of place with my jeans and t-shirt. “This is Kattegat.” Bjorn said putting his arms and pointing around. Everybody we were walking past looked questionable at me. I felt very out of place. Straight ahead there was a house. A longhouse. It stood out from the rest, it was far bigger than any of the houses we walked past. My guess would be that Ragnar would live there. And then I was standing in front of the longhouse where people were guarding the doors. Bjorn motioned for me to come in, so I followed him. The guards gave me a weird look as I walked in.

Inside there was a big and beautiful chair in front and center, covered with fur. “Father!” Bjorn Yelled. There were some people inside cleaning, servants maybe? “Son!” A man yelled back he came out of somewhere behind the throne with open arms. Bjorn walked towards him and gave him a hug. “What did you hunt for? You were not gone for very long.” he asked Bjorn. “I didn’t get the chance. I found her.” Bjorn said as he pointed at me. I looked up at them still standing by the door. “Who is this? A new servant?” The man asked. “No, this is y/n. I found her in the woods by herself.” He told him. The man walked over to me. “Is she with the others?” He asked. “I don’t think so.”  The man walked around me. “Why is she dressed like that?” He turned around and asked Bjorn, but Bjorn just shrugged. So the man looked back at me looking for answers. “This is how I dress.” I didn’t know what else to tell him, it was the truth. “Father.” Bjorn said and nudged his head, motioning for him to come to Bjorn. They started talking in hushed tones. “I think she was end by Odin. I the woods she glowed a golden color. Not like I have ever seen before. She could be here to protect us. But..” Bjorn shook his head. “But what?” The man asked quietly. “I don’t think she remembers.” The man looked back at me. “Maybe her memory will come back and she can help us.” The man patted Bjorn on his shoulder.

“Where are my manners? I am Ragnar Lothbrok. Welcome to my kingdom.” He said as he made a bow. This was all strange. This couldn’t be happening. Being sent back in time? That happens in movies. Not real life.

...

..

.

Let me know what you think and if you wanna be tagged :)

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Lost

Harry Potter AU 

Request Fic

Summary:  Regulus did everything he could to ruin his friendship with you. He turned cold, insensitive, and cruel. Now the two of you are paired up for a potions project. Old feelings and wounds are bound to open again. Regulus has to learn to accept that "mudbloods" aren't bad and loving one isn't wrong. Will he be willing to let go of his family's ideals or lose you forever?

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M- angst 

Song at the beginning: The Suffering by  Song by Coheed and Cambria

_______

Is there word or right to say Even in this old-fashioned way? Go make your move girl. I'm not coming home. Would things have changed if I could've stayed? Would you have loved me either way? Dressed to the blues Day to day with my collar up. Decision sits so make it quick A breath inhaled from an air so sick I cursed the day that I'd learned Of the web you span You had your hold till bleeding If it was up to me I would've figured you out Way before the year clocked out Oh, I hope you're waiting I hope you're waiting

People change and hurt people hurt other people in return…

That sentence summed up so many things in your life at the moment. Your eyes turned to the Slytherin table where Regulus Black sat with his friends. The boy that you had a crush on since 1st year changed and not in a good way. He had gone from being somewhat kind to downright vicious. After he started making closer friends with Evan Rosier, a few years before Regulus had turned further into his “pure blood nature.” The last thing that he wanted was a “mudblood” like you for a friend. Hearing those words leave his mouth still hurt you to this day and that had been over two years ago. Why you let it both you, you weren’t sure. You were just Lily Evan’s mudblood little sister...nothing impressive (his words, not yours).

You frowned, scowling at Evan Rosier. He sat telling some animated story that had Regulus, Snape, and Barty Crouch Jr laughing. Evan was a topic of rage for you. If Evan hadn’t stuck his nose in your friendship with Regulus then there was a possibility that the two of you would have remained friends to this day.

Screw Evan and everything that he stands for!

It was Snape that looked in your direction. He gave you a polite smile before looking back to his friends. He was the one boy at that table that was kind to you. Granted it had to do with his insane crush on your sister but he was still nice all the same. Now that Lily wouldn’t talk to him after him calling her a mudblood, he used you to get information on Lily. “How is Lily?” “Is she doing okay? What about you?” (Those were Snape’s big questions (when his Slytherin buddies weren’t around).

That whole little table would shit a monkey if they knew that Regulus and I were sleeping together....then.

You thought with a cold glare. Sex was all that there was to it. Regulus liked to play rough and you were glad to go along with it. You were, after all in Regulus’ mind, the little Hufflepuff who he could easily manipulate into whatever he wanted. At first, it was just seeing what all of the hype was about. Was sex really as good as everyone went on about? In short, yes. It was exactly what everyone said and then some. Lovemaking turned into Regulus developing some major kinks.

You longed for the day when Regulus was a sweet quiet boy who enjoyed your company. Now he was something else and you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“My favorite hufflebuddy!”

Your thoughts were interrupted when Sirius plopped down beside you and pulled you into an overdramatic hug. Everything that Sirius did was overdramatic but you didn’t mind. He was getting you out of your head.

“And my favorite gigantic lapdog.”

You said with a smile earring a bigger grin from Sirius as James plopped down on your other side.

“Mini-red, you are looking a little gloomy this fine morning.”

You were used to Sirius and James calling you “mini-red.” It didn’t matter how many times that you told them that neither Lily nor yourself enjoyed being called big and mini-red it never stopped. You learned to accept it as some form of unusual endearment and roll with it.

“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind with this potions class. Slughorn is going crazy.”

James looked thoughtful as he reached across the table for a cup of juice.

“Why do you think that I bailed out of positions as soon as I could? Lils seems to love him. From what I have heard he adores both Lily and yourself.”

You nodded.

“He does. He also adores Regulus.”

Sirius frowned

“Like my brother, Regulus?”

“How many others are there?”

You questioned. Sirius chuckled before his expression darkened.

“Watch out for him, Y/n. Just go with me on it.”

You couldn’t help but notice the expression on Sirius’ face went from jovial ready to prank someone to dark and depressed.

“What’s going on with him?”

You asked, cautiously. Sirius didn’t respond but instead, James did.

“Sirius believes that Regulus is now a death eater.”

“Believes? I know. I mean look at him! He looks like the perfect death eater. Plus all of his little friends are so why wouldn’t he join the crowd?”

James, Sirius, and yourself turned to look at Regulus who was staring at you three. You were afraid to look at him. The last thing that you wanted to do was meet his dark gaze. Since Regulus started changing you were scared of him. If he was a death eater, you would be someone on his list. Why would he want to be kind to a filthy mudblood?

(Meanwhile)

Regulus’ attention had turned to you when Sirius started hugging you like some kind of stuffed animal. Why that he cared so much he wasn't sure. Regulus didn’t even want to admit to himself that he cared for you. You were everything that his family trained him to despise. Yet here he was having some kind of weird fluttering feelings in his stomach when you were near. He hated you yet he wanted you...it made no sense.

“Why does she have to be so fucking beautiful?”

Regulus thought with a glare. He wanted nothing more than to walk across the great hall and shove you against the wall.

He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was jealous of Sirius’ friendship with you. Regulus was jealous of all the Marauders for their friendship with you. You were their little pet Hufflepuff when you were his first! He was the one that made love to you the first time. You were his lover and now Sirius seemed to be moving in on what was his.

“It’s your own fault that she got scared of you.”

Regulus’ mind supplied. He had taken extra steps to scare you away. Whether it be his unkind words or dark distant stares, you finally edged away. Regulus also didn’t want to admit that it was because he called you a stupid mudblood in front of all of his friends.

“Don’t think on it, Regulus.”

Regulus’ thoughts were interrupted by Snape’s voice. He looked up quickly.

“What are you talking about?”

He questioned. Snape motioned to you.

“Y/n Evans. You don’t need a companion Hufflepuff. I know that she was something to you a few years ago…”

“I was a stupid child. I don’t have any feelings for the mudblood girl. The same could be said about you and Y/n’s sister.”

Snape’s mouth formed a hard line. Regulus knew all about Snape and Lily’s friendship falling apart. He saw it happen.

“I’m not talking about myself. I am talking about you. We have enough duties to the dark lord to perform. If you were to be swayed by the girl, you would both be killed.”

Regulus scowled as he noticed your eyes flicker in his direction before quickly looking away. You were scared of him. Regulus wanted to be thrilled but at the same time, it was gut-wrenching. What Snape nor anyone else seemed to know was after Regulus ruined your friendship; he wrote you letters every day for three months. He sent letters and little gifts that would appeal to your quirky personality in hopes that he could win you back. You ignored everything.

He assumed that it was all for the best but it made the “gentle” side of Regulus sob in fury. What you didn’t know was you were the first person in his life that showed him any form of love. Seeing you shove his letter in the rubbish bin or deep into your bag with little to no expression on your face hurt him horribly!

Regulus swallowed back the rage and made a mental note that he needed to stop being so wishy-washy and focus on everything being for the best. There was no way that Regulus as a death eater could have a muggle-born girlfriend. It would be the biggest crock of shit known to wizardkind!

It's for the best…

Half an hour later you walked into Potions with a book in front of your face. You had been gleefully reading some romance book that Marlene McKinnon recommended to you. This was the closest that you would seemingly get to a healthy and not toxic relationship.

Sitting down you put the book up as Professor Slughorn stood up. He gave all of his favorite students his usual friendly good morning.

“Ms. Evans, you did a wonderful job on the last test. I can see that a wonderful brain is a quality with the Evans family.”

You smiled, happily as Professor Slughorn put your most recent test in front of you. Perfect score.

“I am assigning partners for our next project. I know that I typically let everyone pick partners but I think this time we will be doing something different. It's time to see how other people in the classroom work together.”

You internally muttered “uh oh” under your breath. For projects, you always teamed up with a Ravenclaw girl named Emilia Abbott. The two of you had made a common ground of helping each other keep perfect grades on Potions. Up until now, your plan worked like a charm.

“Okay, Mr. Black, I am putting you with Y/n Evans. The two of you have the highest grade in this class. I want to see what amazing things the two of you can do together.”

WHAT?!

You nearly shrieked the moment that Slughorn made that comment. Was it too late to drop potions? Would you really need this class after all? You could always take double potions next year, right?

After Slughorn paired everyone up, you didn't move to where Regulus was sitting. In fact, you didn’t even look in his direction. If he wanted to be your partner then he could get his ass up and come to you. Maybe he would magically forget who you were. Forget the fact that you spent a lot of time underneath him in the room of requirement with his hand on your ass.

What you didn’t see was Regulus staring at you with a frown on his face. He was waiting for you to get up. Instead, you didn’t move. You sat like a little statue staring dead ahead and trying to hide under your red hair.

Rolling his eyes, Regulus finally stood up. He walked across the room and sat down at the table that you were occupying. You didn’t look up nor meet his face.

“We do have to talk to each other, you know.”

Regulus commented. You finally met his eyes. The expression on your face was wary and your guard was up. No longer were you the happy girl that Regulus considered his Hufflepuff buddy. You weren’t the girl that went to him when someone was giving you a hard time or the girl who would try telling him a joke but giggle the whole time. Now you were silent.

“I suppose we do.”

You replied. Regulus had forgotten how much he missed your voice...your sweet gentle voice that was not loud but instead that remained even and soft even if you were mad.

“What potion do you want to do the report on?”

Regulus asked.

“I don’t know.”

You said, sounding almost lost. Since Regulus had sat down, you tried not to look at him. Your vision had gone from his green tie, to his hands, to his family ring, to his left arm. Was there a dark mark under this dress shirt? You couldn’t help but wonder if Sirius was right.

“Look, I am not going to fail this project because you are acting like a clueless tart.”

Your green eyes immediately met his. Regulus was waiting for you to cuss him out but he knew that it wouldn’t happen. He had barely heard you say the word “fuck.” It didn’t matter how much he tried to get you to step outside of your comfort zone, you wouldn’t say some words.

“What? Have something to say?”

He questioned. You quickly stood and gathered your books before storming out of the class without another word.

_______

@fairywriter-oracle

@amelie-black

@swinginsoulbailiffrascal

@realgaytrash

@sunles (here’s you another one) 

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@summer-novak

@shaylybaby2032

@li0nh34rt

@marichromatic

@tas898

@maggioli-m

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@stuckinsaudi1

@shitfaceddaniel

@knight-of-gleefulness

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@wontlookaway

@mycuddlycorner

@sprnaturallover

[ijwrff]

Yandere! Wilford Warfstache

Hello! This is a commission from my good friend @nerdqueenkat​. I haven’t written anything for egos in a while so I hope this turned out okay! 

It...wasn’t very hard to notice Wilford Warfstache. That is...unless he didn’t want you to know he was there. Somehow the world around him seemed to bend to his will. If you didn’t know any better you’d say he was some magical being who could make all your wishes come true. 

That was how it started. You were going about your day as usual, when you took notice of the man with the pink suspenders sitting on the bench you would normally wait on for the evening bus back home. 

“Is this seat taken?” You politely asked, before he gave a shake of his head and scooted over to accommodate for you. Before, he was slouched across it, not leaving any room for a second person. 

“Of course not...you can see me?” It was straightforward, and you turned to him in shock. 

“See you...of course, you’re right here.” He looked as real as anyone else...actually. There didn’t seem to be anyone at the stop. It wasn’t usually a popular spot, but a good two or three people were common. You’d even come to know a couple by name in your time taking the same bus every day. But none of them seemed to be here today. 

“Well now what day is it…” The man looked perplexed, as if he had no bearings on what was real in the world around him. This man surely must be mad. 

Even so, you indulged, hoping that he wasn’t the dangerous kind of mad. “It’s September. The 21st?” The bus would surely be here soon. Maybe he wasn’t intent on riding the bus, and was simply using the bench as a place to stay. 

There were too many things that didn’t add up. 

“No, no, the month or day doesn’t matter, silly! What year?” He didn’t seem to be harmful at least...if anything maybe a bit confused. There was an odd drawl to his speech, maybe he was simply recovering from a late night out. A hangover could certainly explain the confusion. 

“2020.” A short answer, maybe he would get the message and not try pushing any buttons until your bus got here. 

Your answer only seemed to confuse him more as he began muttering to himself. “No that’s not right...I don’t meet you for another…”

Now he was starting to worry you. He sounded like he seriously lost his marbles, you just wanted to get back home and curl up on the couch with your favorite show on. Maybe a nice cup of hot chocolate. 

You turned away from the man and saw the headlights of a bus in the distance, gradually getting closer. “Well it was nice meeting you but I…” When you turned back he was no longer there. Where could he have been able to go so quietly? 

Shaking off the strange encounter, you got off the bus and made your way back home. That would have been it, a strange encounter. But that wasn’t the last time you saw him. 

Months later, into the chilly weather of February, you were sitting in a local cafe, browsing through the internet with the help of their free wifi. It was quiet, and nobody paid you much mind, until one familiar person came around and changed your life. 

“It’s good to see you gumdrop, I’ve missed you!” Before you could react, you were being pulled into a side hug. You aimed to push the stranger away, but you recognized him. He wasn’t easy to forget. His strong grip made it near possible to escape, but as quickly as it happened it was over. 

The man spun around to the other side of the table and kicked his feet up onto the table. You looked around quickly to see if anyone else was seeing what you were, but they didn’t turn. They didn’t seem to notice you at all. 

“How has the new job been going? Got time for a few questions?” He seemed more...peppy than he had been. In fact, he seemed to be almost formal. He had a notepad out and a pen he pulled from behind his ear as he seemingly read through a list of potential questions. 

You were still stumped on the first one. “New...new job? I’m sorry I think you’re confusing me with someone else.” Getting up to leave and give this man some space, you shuffled your things into your bag. He didn’t let you get away. 

“Wait! Just a minute, no worries my darling it probably hasn’t happened yet.” Flipping quickly through a few pages he cleared his throat. “Ah yes, here we are.” He seemed to find his place, quickly throwing out another question before you could process the insanity that was leaving his lips. “What would you say your favorite animal is? If you could have one as a pet what would it be?” 

“I’m sorry...animal? I don’t even know your name.” You wanted to give this man a chance, clearly he thought he knew you. “Um...if I’d have to pick I’d say rabbit. They seem easy to take care of in my current apartment.” 

With a nod he wrote down your answer, not that you had given him permission to. But honestly? Anything to get this odd situation out of the way, you had to search for a job soon or you’d lose your apartment…

“My name?” The man let out a loud laugh, leaving you to once again check to see if you had caused a disturbance, only ro yet again be met with obliviousness. Not a single person was turning to look at you. It made you feel...uneasy. This man seemed to have an air that said he can and will get whatever he wants...so what does he want with you?

“My name is Wilford Warfstache, my dear y/n.” The man you now know as Wilford leaned forward, leaving you to wonder how he knew your name. “And you...are my spouse. Maybe not now...but surely later. It’s only a matter of time. No matter how relevant such a thing may be.” He leaned forward, and you found yourself leaning forward as well. What was so enticing about this man?

You couldn’t help it...when you leaned forward it was almost as if there was a pink hue to his eyes, swirling...captivating. What...were you just worried about? 

Your lips never hit his though. But a sweet taste filled your mouth. You were alone at the table, your favorite flavor of sucker hanging from your mouth. 

It was months later when you found him for the third time. Since then, random gifts have arrived at your door. You knew it was him, but how he knew your address was beyond you. You resorted to staying at home for fear of running into Wilford again. He wouldn’t be able to make it into your home...right?

You had tried moving multiple times. It only took three times for you to give up. He always knew. How did he always know?

Something was off...something was wrong about him. You knew telling the police would do nothing. He couldn’t be human. He was in your dreams...telling you of a future that you’ll have together. It got to the point where walking around your empty apartment day to day seemed more like a dream. 

The dreams became more...enticing over time. Everything you ever wanted was a reality. All of your problems were just...washed away. The dreams would all always end the same. Wilford would say the same line at the end of every dream. 

“I’ll see you soon.”

At this point...it was unclear even to you if it was a promise or a threat. 

One day, or one gift rather, shined through more than any other. When you opened your door to the sound of the mail arriving, you were greeting with yet another gift basket. This one...was completely full of things you recall telling Wilford about in your dreams. 

A book from your childhood, a postcard from the place you most wanted to visit, and an array of your favorite candies, all mixed in with something you thought you’d never see again. The vase that you broke in childhood, that you were told held great history in your family. Your parents gave you hell for breaking it, and there wasn’t a family gathering you went to where someone didn’t bring it up. How did he know the exact one?

 The dreams had to be real, or he would never know. Or maybe...this was a dream as well. It seemed as if every time he asked you a question, the answer directly correlated with what gifts you would receive next. 

Sometimes they were out of order, but they all arrived at some point. You intended to ask him about it in your dreams tonight. 

The stage was set. You had soothing music playing to help you fall asleep, and were dressed in your most comfortable pajamas. You knew he would be in your dreams again tonight. It was near every day now that it happened. You almost...looked forward to it. 

The dreams range in length and content, and each night was different than the last. A different location, a different theme, but each romantic in it’s own way. 

As you fell asleep, a familiar comforting feeling crept through your body, and you opened your eyes to see Wilford throwing carnival game balls at a set of milk bottles. It seemed the theme  for  tonight was a carnival. 

“Win any games yet Wilford?” By now, you had grown used to seeing him. The conversation always seemed to flow freely. 

Throwing a smirk your way, he replied “Of course, I always win the best of prizes for you.” As if on cue, you noticed the array of stuffed animals sitting on the counter next to the balls. Any and all kinds and sizes were sitting on display just waiting to be grabbed. 

“Wilford...this time I have a question for you, if that’s alright.” For once, you were almost at a loss of what to say, despite knowing you had spent the day preparing what to say to him tonight. Would he react negatively? Would he stop sending gifts? What if you said the wrong thing and he realized that he didn’t need you. At this point...you needed him. 

Wilford didn’t seem to notice the anxiety, and gave a smile over his shoulder as he knocked down another bottle. “Changing things up on me, sugarplum? I think you’d make the most amazing interviewer.” Throwing the last ball he turned, putting his arm over your shoulder. It was also something you had grown used to, the physical contact. 

It was always either a hand around the small of your back, one draped over your shoulder, or him holding your much smaller hand in his own. If a stranger were to touch you in such a way, you’d probably throw a few punches their way if they didn’t take the hint. But contact with Wilford had an almost calming effect on you. As if his very existence made you feel more comfortable. Being with him made all your problems dissolve away. 

Shaking your head clear of your thoughts you spoke aloud the question you prepared to ask. “Why do you send me gifts every day?” Straightforward and to the point. Tonight wouldn’t be about enjoying time with Wilford, like every other night, tonight was about answers. 

He gave you a confused look in return, “Haven’t I told you? We get married eventually. And I see no problem in spoiling my spouse.” He spun around, talking openly with his hands, “Our time together starts soon, you just have to be patient.” 

His words soothed you, almost made you feel like being with him was meant to happen. You saw the pink gleam in his eyes again, and lost your words. All you could think about was him. As your mind begins to go blank, every stress in the world melts away. Looking into his eyes was all you needed to do right now.  

Somehow...it felt right. He declared he would always give you gifts, and you would get to meet him in the real world soon. For now...you were happy to have him in your dreams. 

As time passed...more gifts arrived. You started to grow grateful. Wilford has spent so much time and effort getting you things you enjoy. Someone who seemed so...sweet couldn’t possibly be bad. 

It had now been months since you last saw Wilford in person, and only days since the dreams stopped. You knew he was coming. It was finally time. You were ready for him. 

When he finally returned to your door, he was wearing a pink suit with a bouquet of matching pink roses. 

“I’ve missed you, my special little gumdrop.” He extended his arm to give you the flowers, which you quickly grabbed, moving them out of the way to give Wilford a hug. 

“I’ve missed you too.” Never had you spoken words so true. Something had always been missing in your life. You knew you were destined for more. He was everything you need. He would give you the perfect life you’ve always wanted. 

“Have you made your choice my dear?” He would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to. At least that’s what his eyes were telling you. 

One look into the beautiful pink swirls in his eyes, and you knew. 

He had been preparing you. In your dreams of lavish lifestyles, and endless fun to be had, you knew you only had one choice. One dream in particular you knew would be your future. 

Living your life as his most prized possession. You would spend the rest of your days not having to worry about trivial things that life has tasked you with. You didn’t need freedom. You didn’t need friends. You would only have Wilford and Wilford alone. He was yours forever, just as much as you were his. 

“Together...forever.”

[peraltasames]

your love’s put me at the top of the world

He’s beyond relieved that he made it back in time, but even more relieved when Amy lets out one final cry of agony and everything falls silent for a split second before the unmistakable cries of a newborn fill the room.

That’s his son. His son is here.

prompt: 💐 - buying each other flowers

read on ao3

There’s never been any doubt in Jake’s mind that Amy is a superhero.

Her first month at the Nine-Nine, he saw her tackle a perp twice her size without breaking a sweat. It was both awesome and insanely hot, though Jake suppressed those feelings as quickly as they arose when she yelled at him to cuff the 250-pound man she just smacked down on the pavement.

She’s saved his life multiple times, whether it be by always having his back in the field or shooting him in the leg in the thick humidity of the worst state in America (he wasn’t overly fond of the latter, but he was very appreciative of avoiding a bullet in the head).

She’s had more emotional endurance than anyone Jake knows, remaining his steady guidepost during his time in WitSec and his prison sentence and everything else life has thrown at them, even when he knew it was just as hard for her. Her strength and hope never wavered during the long months of failed attempts at getting pregnant.

Still, despite all this, he’s never been more in awe of her than he is seeing her give birth to their son, in the damn precinct, without any painkillers. She’s glowing, an absolute vision of beauty, but he knows better than to tell her that while she’s swearing like a sailor and squeezing his hand so hard he thinks she might break it.

He’s beyond relieved that he made it back in time, but even more relieved when Amy lets out one final cry of agony and everything falls silent for a split second before the unmistakable cries of a newborn fill the room.

That’s his son. His son is here.

Of course, more chaos ensues after that - he’s pretty sure they had enough chaos for a lifetime tonight, but they’ve also had a lot of crazy days that have made for good stories, so he decides he can handle a little chaos as long as his wife and their little boy are okay.

There’s an ambulance ride and several tests run by several different doctors. There’s the entire squad visiting and the reveal of their son’s name - Mac Peralta, after John McClane, of course. There’s Roger and Victor arguing over what Mac’s middle name should be (even though they decided on Raymond weeks ago to avoid upsetting either of their fathers) while Camila and Karen fawn over Amy and the baby.

Eventually, there’s just the three of them again. Amy falls asleep soon after, very understandably considering all her body’s been through over the past few hours, and Mac is happily dozing in the bassinet next to her bed.

Jake’s in the midst of responding to a dozen text messages and trying to wrap his head around the fact that he’s really a father when his stomach starts to grumble, a casual reminder that he hasn’t eaten since lunch and it’s nearly two in the morning.

“Detective Peralta, you’re free to go grab food or coffee.”

The nurse standing next to the bassinet, monitoring Mac’s vitals, seems to have read Jake’s mind. He would kill for even a bag of chips from a vending machine right now, but he also really doesn’t want to leave the baby unattended while Amy’s sleeping.

“We’re keeping a close eye on your son and your wife, so there’s no reason to worry.”

He’s got half a mind to try to recruit her as a detective with the mind-reading capabilities she’s got going on (although it’s possible his instinctual need to protect Amy and their baby really is just that transparent) but he simply nods in appreciation and bends down to kiss Amy’s forehead before slipping out the door.

He’s determined to make it as quick of a mission as possible, eager to return to the room, so he makes a very Amy-esque list in his head: food, coffee, something more comfortable and clean to sleep in.

He knocks off the first two very quickly with a cold sandwich and a cup of stale but decently warm coffee from the cafeteria. It’s certainly not a Charles-approved meal, but he’s still riding on such a high that it tastes like the elixir of the gods right now.

The gift shop fulfills his need for comfortable clothing - sweatpants with the New York Presbyterian logo and an I ❤️ NY hoodie. It also offers a wide selection of stuffed animals, and even though they already have way too many for a newborn to appreciate at home from Amy’s baby shower, he can’t resist grabbing a tiny teddy bear that says I love my mom.

That’s all he intends to buy, but the bouquets of flowers positioned conveniently near the checkout catch his eye immediately. He does have a more significant push present for Amy planned, a signed copy of Marie Kondo’s new book that Gina managed to score for him accompanied by two tickets to Hamilton and reservations at a very fancy restaurant in Midtown four months from now. He really feels like his wife having just undergone tremendous pain and physical exertion to bring their baby into the world means she deserves something now, though, so he carefully peruses the selection.

“New dad?” the lady behind the cash register asks, smiling at him.

Jake nods proudly, glancing briefly at the teddy bear in his arms. “As of like three hours ago, yeah.”

“Go for the gardenias. They symbolize joy, your wife will love them.”

Jake has to read the little tags to identify which ones are gardenias, but he’s pleased that they’re the pretty white and yellow bouquet in a small white vase that his eyes were first drawn to.

“Thank you,” Jake smiles, quickly swiping his credit card and gathering his purchases.

He carefully creeps back into the dark room so he doesn’t accidentally wake Amy or Mac, who he pauses to stare at in awe for another long moment before going to the bathroom to change. After tossing his dirty clothes in Scully’s big hospital bag, he attempts to lightly place the flowers down on the bedside table, but even the slight disruption of the silence causes Amy to stir.

“Sorry, babe,” he winces, setting the teddy bear down next to the bouquet. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You got me flowers?” Amy smiles, shifting up on her elbows slightly to get a better look. “Jake, they’re beautiful.”

“The lady at the gift shop said they symbolize joy, so...”

His eyes wander to the bassinet, soaking in every second that he can of admiring their very own bundle of joy.

Amy smiles wider, reaching for his hand to pull him towards her. He settles in on the bed beside her, carefully wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“You were so amazing,” he whispers into her hair. It’s not the first time he’s told her that tonight, but he doesn’t think he could ever say those words enough to encapsulate just how in awe of his wife he actually is.

“You’re a pretty good baby daddy,” Amy murmurs into his chest. “I mean, you were literally my knight in shining armour riding in on horseback tonight.” He chuckles, squeezing her tightly. “I’m so glad you made it in time.”

“Me too,” he sighs, pressing kisses to her hairline and temple and cheek.

Amy shifts over slightly, making as much room in the bed as she can for him, and his desire to be close to his wife is overruled by the interest of her being as comfortable and non-crowded as possible.

“Ames, they said they could bring a cot for me. Or I can sleep in the chair, I really don’t mind.”

She frowns, shaking her head. “There’s plenty of room.”

“You just had a baby, I want you to be comfortable.”

“Jake,” she says, more firmly. “Speaking as your wife who just had a baby, I want you to sleep here with me. That’s an order.”

He knows he’s fighting a losing battle, so he kicks off his shoes and climbs under the covers with her. It turns out to be kind of perfect - he has just enough space to comfortably stretch out and, once he’s wrapped his arm around Amy and assumed the big spoon position, he has an unobstructed view of Mac.

“We’re really parents,” Amy sighs happily, lacing her fingers with his.

Jake nods and smiles, his eyes reluctant to close just yet while he absorbs the last moments of the most important day of his life.

He kisses her cheek once more before settling into the pillows and letting his eyelids droop.

“I love you guys so much.”

[marshmallowprotection]

Inspired by the character Margarita Blankenheim from Evillious Chronicles (Link to Margarita’s Evillious Chronicles wiki page: https://theevilliouschronicles.fandom.com/wiki/Margarita_Blankenheim ) and the song “Gift From the Princess Who Brought Sleep” (Link to the fanmade PV & cover by Mariogagabriel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo8IHawkHpI ), all by Mothy.

Trigger warnings for self-harm mentions, suicide mentions, and a bat shit crazy psychopathic girl who is the topic of this character description. 

Well, I’ve made way more disgusting & hateable characters for my world...I mean, I made a character whose disgusting fetish list is long and as said, disgusting and disturbing. Ah, the smell of my world and its blurry border between NSFW and SFW…

(I think the only reason it's not NSFW is cus there are no explicit scenes of you know what ._.)

“If you truly love me, you wouldn’t have hurt me back then. I’m just returning the favor, you know! Every Black Rose has thorns...but mine are simply sharper, Mama, Papa. Now, 

TO HELL WITH YOU SCUM!”

-Laila, 1691 T.C. At Age 15

Name: Laila Kerrin Rouziame (Pronounced Lie-la Care-in Ro-zee-ah-meh in case anyone has trouble pronouncing it)

Name Meaning: Laila is an Arabic name meaning “Night Beauty”. Kerrin is an Irish name meaning “Black”. I derived her last name from “Rouzia”, an English name which is a variation of the name “Rose”. All together her name literally means “Night Beauty Black Rose”. 

Aliases (If Any): Black Rose (Code Name/Serial Killer Name)

Age: 19 (On Death)

Date of Birth/Birthday: Day 14 of Xomura’s Star, 1676 T.C. (Equivalent of February 14th)

Zodiac: Aquarius

Status: Deceased (Died 1695 T.C.)

Species: Elf

Magic: Unknown (Used A Variety of Different Spells, The Magic She Inherited/Specialized In Is Unknown)

Height: 5’4 Feet (162 Centimeters)

Ethnicity: Vesperian

Relatives: Duke Rouziame (Father)✝

Duchess Rouziame (Mother)✝

Rowen von Hallow (Husband)✝

Veila Miranda Rouziame (Daughter)✝

Various Descendants

Birth Place: Merdanburg, Rouziame Territory, Vesper Empire

Nationality/Current Residence: Merdanburg, Rouziame Territory, Vesper Empire

Religion (Which Goddess Do They Worship?): Kaya (Claims)

None

Occupation: Duchess of House Rouziame

The Infamous Serial Killer “Black Rose”

Founder of The Criminal Organization “Midnight Rosaria”

Affiliations: Midnight Rosaria

House Rouziame

Vesper Empire

  Personality: Self-Destructive, Just Plain Old Crazy, Psychopathic, Masochistic, Sadistic, Comes Off As “Sweet” And “Kind”, But Eerily “Sweet” and “Kind”, Like You Can Just Feel Something Is Off, But She’s A Master Manipulator, So You Wouldn’t Realize Till She Stabs You Senseless

Marital Status: Married (Formerly)

Widow [By Choice]

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Likes: Roses, Pain (No Seriously, I Put Her As Masochist In Her Personality Thing For A Reason), Flowers

Dislikes: People Pitying Her, People Treating Her As if She Were A Sweet Innocent Thing To Be Protected From The Cruel World, The Abuse Her Parents Did To Her, The Scent of Smoke, Smoke In General

Role: Background Character

Potential Post-Ever Changing Fate 1 Side Story Main Character (Undecided Though)

  Debut: Undecided

Random Facts:

Laila is a genuine actual psychopath. She’s not meant to be a character you can justify at all or chalk up her trauma to be the source of her evil or that she could have been good in an alternate timeline if she did not go through her trauma. She was, really, seriously, born with a lack of empathy for people and violent tendencies. However, her parents’ abuse towards her is what pushed her over the edge. But she would likely have still gone down the route she goes down in her canon, becoming a murderer, as she is likely a character who displays the worst symptoms and tendencies of someone who is a psychopath. 

Also before anyone claims she’s a sociopath- she is not, because she was like this from birth. Sociopaths are made- psychopaths are born. Big difference.

She was not born a masochist, however, she slowly morphed into one as the years went on and she searched for relief from the pain her parents caused her, and in a sick way the pain she caused to herself seemed to feel euphoric, and she’s not sure why. It may be due to her suicidal tendencies and contemplation of suicide, or maybe something else.

Laila is not meant to be an accurate representation of most mentally ill people- she’s one of the most extreme cases. And she’s also an actual psychopath, who are unable to be helped at all because their lack of empathy is not like depression or something where they can recover- it’s something physically wrong with her brain; for lack of a better word, she’s broken. And there’s nothing anyone could do to help her. Unfortunately, before anyone realized she was a severe, genuine danger to everyone around her and herself, she had already killed many people and eventually herself.

Laila also has severe depression (which is the main cause of her suicidal tendencies later on and masochistic tendencies) and severe PTSD towards the scent of smoke due to her father’s smoking habits. That’s also why she didn’t just burn all of Merdanburg like many people in Midnight Rosaria wanted her to- her fear of the smoke scent and just smoke, in general, made her unable.

Her exact kill count is 400. 399 if you disinclude herself.

Her masochistic tendencies are not sexual in nature before anyone asks.

Backstory: Laila Kerrin Rouziame was born the only child of Duke and Duchess Rouziame in the capital of Rouziame Territory (A Territory In My World Is A Province, Sort Of), Merdanburg on Day 14 of Xomura’s Star, 1676 T.C. Since birth, Laila had been harshly disciplined by her parents and taught what she should and should not do, in order to morph her into the perfect heiress, it didn’t help that the Vesper Empire was collapsing at the seams and that House Vesper, the ruling house of the empire, had disintegrated due to its main branch ending up at a dead-end when the last empress, Elisabet, died without an heir back in 1566 (110 years ago), and the nobility were all scrambling to become the new ruling house, and as one of the most powerful noble houses, Laila’s parents wanted to be the ones to become the new emperor and empress. And so, Laila was trained in how to be the best leader she could be, and harsh punishment in the form of physical and verbal abuse was executed to her if she did not comply, which she did a lot. Laila had...many violent tendencies, she often for example stabbed her stuffed animals with pencils or pens, or tearing them apart by hand, and sometimes even harming herself. All of this caused her only to be punished more, and many people started to refer to her as a demon child due to her tendencies of violence, and she even once attempted to stab the third son of the current Marquis Mariah at the time. Her lack of conscience and sense of right and wrong made everyone fear that maybe Laila was “possessed” or “cursed”. As Laila grew her tendencies only heightened, but, she learned an important skill from her older cousin, Lettisa (she was also a fellow psychopath), when she was 10- deception.

Laila learned how to pretend to be normal.

And so the random bursts of violence stopped. She put on a mask of perfectness- making herself out to be kind and benevolent when in reality she felt nothing but sick happiness at the thought of the pain she could cause. In private she harmed herself yet again but did so in places where she could easily hide the scars and wounds. 

When Laila was 13 the abuse from her parents continued to worsen, and her cousin Lettisa started talking to her about the idea of killing them, confessing that she herself killed her parents because they abused her too. Laila for the next 2 years would seriously consider it because she was tired of the abuse, in her words "They don't accept me for who I am, wanting me to pretend to be someone I am not. If they were gone...maybe...I could be free."

Laila would go through with her meticulously planned for two whole years murder plot against her parents when she was 15, murdering them in an excruciating, painful way which shall not be said because it's way too gory and disturbing.

After that Laila inherited everything from her parents, the estate, the title, the money, everything. Her cousin, Lettisa, chose to move out of her aunt's house to come live with Laila. And there began their creation of an organization, a criminal one, which they planned to name: "Midnight Rosaria".

Laila would be the face of the organization, and Lettisa handled many nitty-gritty details.

Laila's mental health continued to decline in terms of her sanity, and she began desiring to feel the euphoria which bringing pain to others had always brought her. And so, she became a serial killer, not targeting anyone in particular besides people who were friends of her parents, who were rewarded for their bystanding status of just watching Laila get abused by her parents with a painful death.

With the creation of Midnight Rosaria, killings across all of Merdanburg heightened along with the crime rate, Lettisa going around and recruiting people to the organization. Everyone was there for different reasons and different goals, but they all benefited from one thing: the fact that they would help each other. Everyone in the organization usually behind only one member's murder plot or crime. It was very meticulously planned, everything was perfected to the highest degree of perfection. And let me tell you, Laila was not dumb- in fact, she was a genius of her time, likely one of the most brilliant criminals ever. She was just... absolutely insane. 

Before Laila even turned 18, she was approached by a suitor named Rowen von Hallow, who claimed to have fallen in love with her and wanted to marry her. She originally rejected him, but Lettisa said that marrying him would greatly increase her power due to him being descended from Alia Hallow, who was a famous hero. So, Laila agreed to marry him. She gave birth to a daughter a year later.

For the next 4 years of her life (counting from when she was 15), Laila murdered over 300 people, using various magic spells and masking her true nature to enact her plots. With all of Midnight Rosaria helping her, at that point, there was nothing anyone could do to stop her, not when she had so much power and influence as Duchess Rouziame and the leader of Midnight Rosaria.

Merdanburg became a ghost town.

Laila's mental health had become extremely unstable. She even murdered her husband during a violent fit and didn't even care afterward.

And so Laila believed the last thing to do was to kill herself.

Everyone urged her not to, including Lettisa, but Laila stated that it was for the best, considering that was what she had wanted her entire life- the ultimate pain- the sweet release of death.

And so she did.

Laila has gone down in history as one of the most brilliant minds to have ever lived, as she did excel in school, but used her brilliance for the wrong reasons. She became known as the "Black Rose" due to her leaving a black rose wherever she made the worst wound on her victims. She's become infamous in history and due to being the creator of Midnight Rosaria along with Lettisa, she influenced the future of crime for centuries.

Lettisa ended up being the new guardian of Laila's daughter Veila, and unfortunately, Veila inherited her mother's psychopathy, becoming an infamous murderer as well. 

This is my first time writing a character who was born just purely crazy, did I mess up anything? Idk myself if I did a good job or what. ;-;

She's likely going to be improved in the future as I find out more about psychopathy, but this is her for now. :/ 

— Submision

Well, I do think it’s important not to call people “crazy”. Doing things of that nature can harm anyone with mental illness. Mental illness are not excuses for your actions. There’s definitely people in this world that are cruel but they are simply cruel for their own reasons, they weren’t being forced into doing anything, they choose to do what they do. Framing certain illness in a bad light makes for a bad stigma for people who experience pyschosis, hallucinations, and more. It isn’t “scary” to be “different.” 

But, it is a shame that people hurt others for things out of their control, like what they struggle with mentally or physically. Genetics can put you at risk for certain things, like anxiety, but that doesn’t mean that would make you your parent, or what they struggled with. Now, you could be disillusioned with reality and she could possibly have been taught things as a child that helped shape her view of others, and that’s how the daughter lashes out at others, but I wouldn’t say that she “got it from her mother” as in, mental illness. 

It’s just important to be careful about how you write characters like that because there is so much bad media out there that does more harm then good. Even if she’s one of the extreme cases that is an outlier, it’s important to be wary of what it can do to other people. 

I do find the concept rather interesting, though. It has potential if you continue to work on it and remedy things that may hurt others. 

[extreme-close-up-woooaah]

breakfast club headcanons V

andrew - first things first i think that we can all agree that this man is in fact a jean cuffer, he’s a bi man - he had braces from 7th grade to junior year and gets very embarrassed of  precious old photos of younger him - okay so, i need to elaborate on this boys family life, it’s insane - this boy is brothers with the kid in the police office in ferris buellers day off (his name is garth volbeck) and they have a sister named judy because garth mentions her - yes i did this because they are brothers irl and have different last names irl (but for different reasons)  - and their parents divorced a year before the breakfast club so their mother (a very sweet lady who loves her kids no matter what and respects them, she can also bake and she taught andrew to respect woman) she already moved out into another house in another neighborhood - so andrew lives with his dad sadly, and has a hard time escaping it all, garth is in between everything and judy lives with their mother by choice because of obvious reasons - okay hopefully ya’ll understand that :) - next things next this man (even out of my au) grows up to be a librarian - the story to how that happened is kind of upsetting, i don’t want anyone to feel in any way triggered or upset by this so... T W: don’t read if sensitive to stuff like verbal abuse - after highschool he got into a college for wrestling and did his thing and then after that he got onto the wrestling team his dad coaches - andrew had joined but it had drained him, his mental health was deteriorating to say the least - eventually he started to feel pain in his knee but his father kept pushing him and pushing him until he couldn’t take it anymore - he knee gave out  - i’m not educated enough to say why but all i know is that he couldn’t wrestle anymore and was useless in his fathers eyes - his father said very mean things to him and left him at a telephone booth with very little money, enough to get a burger at a mcdonalds, he called garth - asked him to take him to the hospital, he was shaky on the phone but his brother understood and came to pick him up - the ride was completely silent and understandably so, but andrew ended up crying in the passenger seat, he was kind of cold too  T W over: enjoy the rest :) - uh soooo ONCE AGAIN i am NOT educated enough to say what happened to his knee but he ended up having some chronic knee thing and it was only going to get worse and he needed a knee brace for it  - he ends up staying at garth and his boyfriends house (sorry to anyone who thinks brian should just be on his own, me and my bf ship brian and garth like a couple of dorks U-U so please do ignore it if you don’t like it or think of them as roommates :>)  - he ended up getting a job at the local library and he was pretty good at it, this library in particular was very safe and a tame - perfect, so he ended up getting the money from it and a small loan from his brother and getting his own apartment eventually  - he built his life back up and he’d end up in a comfortable house with a cat and perhaps a husband or wife A H E M bENDer - okay now on to the good stuff, lead your mind back to kindergarten - when he was younger he liked the colors pink and purple and he likes blue omg bi pride  but he ended up getting scolded for it from his dad so he vowed his whole life to hate those three things because he thought this was the normal way to live - which would explain why he’d say he hates cats but then meet one or even own one and get crazy attached to it and even name it - him and his brother wrestled around a lot but when it came to their sister they’d never hurt her, she (age: 3) was BRUTAL to them, they all look back and laugh on it later - he’s a middle child but oddly he crushes the idea of middle child syndrome because he gets too much unwanted attention from his dad, garth is two years older, his sister is three years under - in middle school he was kinda awkward and even in highschool wasn’t the most popular kid, he was good at wrestling and considered to be the best of them but girls liked the louder ones better, he’s kind of quiet - he’s got “terrible taste” in clothes according to the entirety of the breakfast club, he dresses like an old man when he’s older, but like an ancient man like me  like full on plaid pants blue shirt tan cardigan kinda thingy - when he’s younger he stays sporty on days where he has a meet but some days my man wears a yucky polo and plaid pants and a big belt once again some ugly old man stuff that i’d wear - he’s a door mat, push over, he cannot say no and that’s one of his main issues NOT PROJECTION but like me 😎 - he’s extremely polite and tries his best at being nice and respectful toward everyone but when it comes to standing up for himself in particular against people who aren’t specifically bender, he’s lost and kinda just ignores it and lets it happen - bender finally gets him to snap cause andrew wouldn’t let anyone hurt his friends or even just a person in general - he’s a little on edge for the rest of his time in detention - ya’ll okay sorry bout this, but the breakfast club is just a group of stuffed animal hoarders, he’s got a regular old teddy bear at his MOMS house so it’s safe :) - lil spoon  - cozy man wears sweaters - OH he’s super short, not a headcanon, HECK its not projection, i just enjoy the fact that he’s short and blonde like meee :} lets appreciate the tiny boy shall we? - his letterman is a size too big because he was told he’d grow into it, he is cozy - he’s at his happiest when he’s a. with his friends b. on a chair with a cat or c. outside in autumn time  - bender makes andrew a small angry bi whenever he’s around, andrew has a lot of pent up anger and he’s a little uptight and bender shakes him loose and gets him annoyed and then continues to baby voice him about how much he loves him in a funny sorta way, mostly when they were younger - andy and allison are super close and tell each other almost everything, they have coffee together and talk about how everything is every now and then, more often when they’re older - benders strong so he’ll give everyone piggy backs, usually he surprise attacks andy tho and picks him up, or if they walk home all together after school, whoevers tired, if its andrew he’ll be gentle in that circumstance - brian and andrew like books, one grows up to be an author and the other a librarian, and once andy discovers his book in his library he smiles and checks it out to read - claire and andy are closer when they’re older, they talk about their shared experiences as a kid and how they ended up where they are and they talk about how lucky they are compared to others - when they were younger claire used to try and show the boys style, bender is already a fashionista but claire picks out some cool ties for him with wacky designs on them, he wears those to work when he’s older - brian enjoys it but only to buy a pair of new shoes, perhaps some loafers and a cool button up - claire has to pick out clothes for andy because andy doesn’t know what he likes quite yet, claire ends up teaching him how to cuff his jeans and :)))))) okay i’ll stop - around christmas, andrew gets the worst gifts, he tries so so hard but he can never seem to get it right, bender gets a kick out of it :}  - in the au they have a cat named mr.ravioli because bender made raviolis and the cat began to feast on them without them knowing so they decided that’d be his name i’ll stop here but it’s not the last part of this series of headcanons, i will write more, some future ones being for all of them together, and then a fbdo bttf pretty in pink cross over where all the cool kidz hang together!! sorry this was so long ;<; i didn’t mean to absolutely pour out my heart but i love andrew and he deserves some headcanons :} i hope their not too bad ;w;