#already started rewatching s1 but i still miss them

[crnl-chicken-tots]

finally convinced myself to watch Victory and Death

ouch

[yellowwwcrayon]

I will just yap at you cause it's entirely your fault... so here is my rambling...

Recruiter!In-ho and s1 Gi-hun.

S1 Gi-hun being his pathetic cute self and instead of meeting our recruiter he meets In-ho hehe

Maybe In-ho lost a bet or he was just bored... anyway In-ho is the recruiter for the night and meets Gi-hun

And because In-ho is a little freak he does enjoy setting the trash straight and slapping them before giving them the card and manipulating them into joining the game. It's a thrill. No wonder the Recruiter likes his job so much.

Figuring out the plot as I go as usual

So In-ho spots this pathetic man, recently beaten up, sitting on the bench in the underground station... just reeking of self-pity and bad choices and pathetic life that is beneath In-ho. Jackpot. Another man he can con into playing some murder games.

(In-ho has one goal and that is to beat Seok-woo's record of having x amount of people sign up the next day)

So In-ho approaches Gi-hun. And gets a lovely surprise when he pulls out a fake gun (In-ho's dormant detective reflexes almost kick in and he almost has Gi-hun pressed against the nearest wall just for pulling out that fake gun) but then Gi-hun pulls the trigger and it's just a lighter. Gi-hun has the audacity to smirk at In-ho. And In-ho is intrigued.

Especially cause Gi-hun shows no interest when In-ho asks him if he wants to play a game

Showing him the money does the trick and In-ho is met with the most endearing puppy eyes. Damn it.

This game might get more interesting than In-ho thought...

Probably will be the same conversation that Gi-hun and the recruiter had (i am currently rewatching the scene to get the vibe and I miss Gong Yoos character. Such an icon)

So it's the same spiel

Gi-hun goes first, doesn't hit the ddakji and is sputtering that he doesn't have the money and In-ho drops the line that he could pay with his body 👀

The look and Gi-hun's face makes In-ho withhold the information that he means slapping by that! (although the shocked and offended look on Gi-hun was hilarious!)

He will have the same shocked and offended look on his face! Ha! Just now cause he thinks he has to PAY with his body. Wink wink

It takes a while for Gi-hun to answer so In-ho is already starting to talk and explain that he can just slap Gi-hun when Gi-hun agrees! And In-ho is smirking cause he didn’t expect his night to end with that. Hehe 👀

Maybe they agree on some payment like the more Gi-hun loses, the more he has to do. To pay. With his body. Man even writing that is already filthy haha 😂 lets see if my aceness makes me cringe too hard or not 😂😂

Gi-hun is still a mess so he loses big time 👀

And winning that one round lets him to something to In-ho. Maybe the first loss was truly just the permission to slap the other person so Gi-hun goes in for the slap but In-ho gives him the ₩100,000 instead and Gi-hun just looks so disappointed.

Anyway. They find a cheap hotel. And In-ho has his way with Gi-hun 👀

Nasty stuff that I will cringe through hopefully (I will make you suffer with me)

Gi-hun still plays the games. And In-ho gets obsessed much earlier. The Dalgona game? Almost breaks In-ho. The finalist suit? In-ho is dead and calling the recruiter to yap about it.

Now. Limousine scene 👀

But instead of hiding his identity, In-ho takes off Gi-hun’s blindfold... and talks to him face to face. And they have a round two. Just this time more hate fucking.

That's all I have for now 😂

Omg you are a genius! I am eating this up. I am smearing my eyeballs over the page. Yes to them switching for the night or something. Like maybe Recruiter was complaining on another of their "bestie" calls after Inho reprimanded him about not meeting the daily quota of players (they're getting close to the start date), and he's like "bitch, you have no idea what it's like interacting with these lowlife up close." and then one thing led to another where Inho agreed to try recruiting one night and that happens to be the night he runs into Gihun.

But I think it would also be diabolical if he was like "you can also pay with your body" and Inho has his way with him at that motel but he's so into Gihun's responses and that bod that he decides to pull Gihun out of the games (revoke his Player 456 card) and keep him as a side piece (and probably kidnaps him to the island so they can suck and fuck while the games are going on 😂). I don't want him in the games again, that poor wet kitten.

Recruiter's like, "that's not fair, you broke the rules, Frontman" when he finds out. It isn't fair. He should have been the one to get a new pet, not Inho.

Inho texting him back with Gihun wearing a collar around his neck and huddled in his lap, drugged out of his mind, "life's not fair, bitch." 💀

[chiibinomonodamon]

WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT GAY FURRY DEMON SEX? XD

(damn, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say....)

Okay...so I see some Stolitz confusion and bashing online and I need to type up a defense here because I won't be able to sleep otherwise lol

I consider myself to be a Ship Critic and someone who takes shipping rather seriously.

What I mean by this is, I like to analyze and break down romantic relationships between fictional characters because it's just interesting to write for me. I especially take delight in friendly debating with opinions that I strongly do *not* agree with.

Let me start off by saying I am NOT a "this ship is awesome because gay furry sex lol" type of girl.

FAR from it. I'm generally more passionate about hetero ships between human characters (because I can relate to them more) among other reasons. So if you wanna dismiss my defense as "shallow fangirlism", you can forget about that lame excuse.

I fell in love with Hazbin Hotel when it was finally released in February and suffered waiting for each new two-parts per week. During that time, I decided to watch Helluva Boss as well, after a friend showed me a particularly soul-crushing clip (Moxxie's childhood trauma about his mother).

Yes, I like funny sex jokes as much as the next goofy adult but scenes like this, scenes that carry a very heavy emotional weight are what really get me in the end, even moreso when VERY little dialogue is exchanged. I knew I had to watch the entire episode run after seeing that the creators had a talent for this.

I saw people asking:

"How did Stolas go from using Blitz as a sex toy to being painfully in love with him?"

Oh I can tell you. I can tell you the EXACT moment this is revealed. But it's not spoon-fed to you; it's quite subtle actually and this is why lots of people miss it.

See, one of the strongest talents Vivenne has shown me is that she REALLY knows how to get her characters to communicate their feelings to the viewers JUST from their expressions and body language. These can be 'blink-and-miss-it' teeny little scenes and it may require a couple rewatches.

But since people demand time stamps for all information others post here, I'll rewatch a few scenes from S1 E7 'Ozzie's' as I'm typing this.

'Ozzie's' remains to be not just my favorite episode of HB...but probably my favorite episode of any adult-targeted animated show outside of Japan (aside from S2 E7's Mid-Season Special)

It has this huge reveal for both Blitzo and Stolas.

We'll first address Blitzo's irrational, stalkerish behavior of Moxxie and Millie.

He's obsessed with them. He finds both of them very attractive, fantasizes about threesomes with them and is constantly inserting himself into their personal lives.

Why?

Because they have everything that he badly badly wants for himself.

They have the perfect marriage and he is trying to live THROUGH them.

This was hilarious to me at the beginnning of the show but it's slowly revealed that it's one of the most tragic and depressing things I've ever seen. And it's scarily realistic too.

But you know this already so let's move on...

Blitzo follows the couple to Ozzie's but he can't get in without a date. So he calls up Stolas and yes, this is very low but he doesn't realize how much this means to Stolas (hell, I'm not sure even Stolas realizes it himself!) but the owl man is giddy with joy, he rushes over and they enter Ozzie's.

When Ozzie and Fizz mock Moxxie for being so sappy towards his wife, this strikes a chord with Blitzo (because they're his IDEAL relationship) and he speaks up to defend them.

NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION; THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

Fizz, still holding onto his past grudge turns on Blitzo to humilate him:

"Some nerve you got commenting on a relationship"

Time Stamp: 11:37

As Fizz says "-ship", Blitzo VERY QUICKLY makes eye contact with Stolas who has a look of panic on his face. Blitzo is seeking VALIDATION from Stolas in this sharp, subtle second of screentime, as if to ask

"Well, ARE we in one?"

And then what happens next...Stolas remains silent, Blitzo's ex joins in to announce how selfish Blitzo was in bed with her, tearing him down further. Stolas stands up like he's going to put a stop to it but then Ozzie notices him and interrogates him about sleeping with Blitzo.

Blitzo looks incredibly ashamed and guilty as Stolas blushes with similar feelings...and hides his face behind his menu; HIS BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE SERIES SO FAR.

Time Stamp: 12:24

The look on Blitzo's face as he grits his teeth and darts his eyes away basically says

"Yeah, I should have known...boy am I an idiot for trusting him to stand up for me".

(look how SHOCKED he is...wow, this hurts fr ;_;)

This is a silent betrayal on Stolas's part. Afterall, his reputation is on the line, so if he were to defend Blitzo, it confirms they are in fact, dating. He chose his pride over Blitzo and Blitzo is crushed by this betrayal.

Moxxie finishes his song and kisses his wife tenderly. Stolas watches this and also wants to have an affectionate moment with Blitzo (who is rightfully glaring daggers at him) and tries to reach for his hand.

Blitzo rejects his touch and suggests they leave. As they do, Blitzo still looks furious and hurt. Stolas is now realizing how badly he screwed up with a "What have I done?" face (13:41)

He even looks disappointed with himself.

After Blitzo drops Stolas off, he thanks him and tries to smooth over the awkwardness with sweet talk but Blitzo just rolls his eyes in disgust and pulls on his face like "I don't want to hear this bullshit".

He responds coldly and curtly, "Yeah." Stolas makes more suggestions to spend time with him, which just makes him even angrier and he snaps

"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay!

I'm really just..." (14:28)

he pauses to wipe a tear because at this point he can barely hold it together (top notch voice acting and animation directing btw)

"...not in the mood, Stolas."

Stolas still tries to talk him into doing couple things unrelated to sex.

Blitzo's face switches back to anger and frustration because Stolas isn't getting the message so he goes for the blunt tactic;

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but YOU wanting ME to fuck you, okay?"

(14:42)

"You make that really clear all the time."

(again his voice sounds like he's about to break down)

"But I-I just can't do it tonight, okay?"

(Finally meets his eye)

"...I'm sorry."

I believe this is code for "I'm sorry we're even in this situation and how your reputation got damaged. " Or, more painfully, "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you".

Stolas replies "Okay" and takes a deep breath to compose himself. They say goodnight and depart.

An important note here is that Stolas calls him "Blitzo" instead of "Blitzy" to show more respect.

As Blitzo zooms away coldly, Stolas looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes, surprised at how much it hurts.

He then sits down with his head in his hands in anguish...because he's getting that

"Oh...no. These feelings are real" epiphany.

And as if this wasn't enough angst, Blitzo collapses onto his couch at home, goes through the memories on his phone and starts sobbing.

I'm going to be real with you; this is the most heart-breaking shit I have ever seen in an adult show of this type. It's also the first time a show of this type got me to cry.

The last six minutes have revealed so much information without spoonfeeding it to the audience because the show RESPECTS its audience.

To recap:

*Blitzo takes Stolas on a first official date to use him

*Stolas is extremely happy about it

*Blitzo gets humilated and looks to Stolas for validation

*Stolas betrays him and breaks his heart

*Blitzo snaps that their relationship is nothing more than lust-driven sex

*Stolas realizes he's actually in love with Blitzo and it's a huge problem because (he believes) that it's unrequited.

*Blitzo breaks down because the ONE person whom he thought would protect him didn't do so.

So these two are convinced that neither one loves the other...while the irony is, it's quite the opposite.

Because if Blitzo REALLY didn't feel anything towards Stolas, he would not have gotten this emotional.

Yes, they are both lonely...but I really don't think that's all there is between them.

So..........we know WHEN they started falling...now the question is why;

I think the answer's quite simple; single-target affection.

It was mentioned in S2 that Stolas and Stella did sleep together ONE TIME...but Stolas didn't enjoy it at all. He is stuck with a wife who hates him so much that she put a HIT on him...and a daughter who thinks he's a loser. Blitzo is pretty much the one person in his life who is able to make him happy. That one small, bright spot. He enjoys the sex with him but he also simply enjoys his company, as shown in Ozzie's episode. He is thrilled to simply talk to him about his day...and do anything else that couples do. They're complete opposites. Stolas is an intellectual but naive and sheltered. Blitzo is poorly educated but cynical and street-smart. Opposites attract...though this is likely more from Stolas's POV than Blitzo's.

In other words, Stolas is into bad boys xD lmao

In Blitzo's case, Stolas is the only character who shows him physical affection which he desperately craves. He's pretty tsundere about it most of the time...but I think he actually does enjoy that attention...especially when he's always getting disrespected by Moxxie and Loona..and quite a lot of people around him. BUT he's too scared to get serious with anyone because of past trauma and he also believes that no one could possibly love him as a person. :(

Reasons I Think This Love is Real

Aside from what I pointed out in the Ozzie's episode...there's quite a lot of evidence, esp from Stolas's POV.

After he realizes he's in love, he goes to Asomodeous for an ALTERNATIVE method for Blitzo to use so they will no longer sleep together. He wants to set Blitzo free. Which means he DOES truly love him because love is about being generous to the other person. He COULD be totally selfish about it but he isn't.

Asomodeous mentions how against love potions he is and Stolas agrees. He thinks that's out of the question.

'Look My Way' music video. Lol I don't have to say anything more.

In S2 E6 OOPS

This exchange at 16:57

Fizz: Seems your taste has gotten more 'regal', lately?

Blitz: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want WHEN I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.

Fizz: You coulda fooled me the way Prince was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitz (gets very defensive) HEY! Stolas only cares about have a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, okay!

It's nothing...(gets hesistant and looks away)...you know...

(Fizz gives him a 'bitch please' look xD)

"it's nothing else."

Fizz: Then why were you even there?

Blitz: OTHER very important reasons of course.

Fizz: Whatever. I don't actually care.

Blitz: Stolas is just a loud, thirsty BITCH!

(Fizz is rolling his eyes again)

Blitz: He loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class.

It's a novelty to him.

Fizz: LITERALLY just said I don't care!

Blitz: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was!

And he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos laugh at my jokes...

Fizz: (Smirking) OH! That's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit!

Blitz: I KNOW, RIGHT??

Fizz: (Making a 'What in idiot' expression, shaking his head)

Blitz: HE'S JUST A FAKE, PRIVELEDGED ASSHOLE...

Fizz: Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince!

No one (laughs) and I mean NO ONE pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

All right. IF ANYONE knows what real love is like, it's Fizzaroli...who is in a very HEALTHY relationship with Asomodeous. He recognizes the signs because he's IN that place. He sees it...and he's annoyed that Blitzo keeps denying it and brushing it off...yet clearly can NOT stop talking about Stolas (amusing irony)

To sum up (this freaking essay lol) 'Stolitz' ABSOLUTELY has the potential to be pure and true...these two just need to communicate...or Stolas has to PROVE to Blitzo that he's serious about his feelings in another way.

There is no doubt that this ship is 100% endgame and is a case of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' Trope. I look forward to the rest of the journey. Ron is putting my feelings about Stolitz in a perfect phrase:

[ineffablelara]

Loki's melancholy and being your true self

I decided to revisit some scenes from both seasons of the show in order to better understand what I viewed as Loki’s melancholy in s2 and how different he is from s1, and I came to the conclusion that maybe he’s not as melancholic as I thought he was.

I was discussing with @justanotherhopelessgeek about the seemingly loss of that mischievous spark in Loki that was so apparent in s1 so I decided to rewatch some scenes from s2 to see if that was really the case and let me tell you: I think he didn’t exactly lose it, he simply let go of all of his masks by the time s2 started.

Loki still has mischief inside him, it comes so naturally, like when he was suffering from a panic attack after returning to the TVA and still found time to tease Mobius when he realized his friend had no idea who OB was, he delighted himself so much with Mobius’ clumsy attempts at pretending to remember OB and their last meeting, he went from worried to playful without missing a beat, it was so fun to watch!

Then we go to episode 2 and he has the time of his life while hunting down Brad, I don’t think we had ever seen such a creative use of his illusions, they were mostly just a copy of him and not multiple people like that, he toys with Brad a little before revealing himself, and after that he also has a lot of fun with the shadow play, even tricking Mobius into talking to an illusion instead of the real him, he has so much fun with that!

And don’t even get me started with the torture scene later in the episode, he has so much fun with that! playing dumb and letting Brad think he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he knows exactly what buttons to push to get what he wants, he’s beaming with mischief and joy there and it’s so satisfying to watch Brad slowly realize that he’s fucked lmao

After that there’s episode 3 where they go after Victor and we see how amused Loki is when he realizes the man is a con artist, he gets playful and enjoys himself, there’s also the scene where he sends that brute that was threatening him to the cage with the pigs, he gets so much satisfaction from doing that, it’s adorable.

Then things start to get a bit more serious in episode 4 with the impending destruction of the loom casting a shadow on all of them, there isn’t much mischief or joy in that episode but we do see him toying with Brad a little more, of course, it was part of his and sylvie’s plan but still, we know that he enjoys playing with Brad.

In episode 5 Loki is desperate and lost, he has no time for mischief, he just wants to find a way to go back to the TVA so he can try to save his friends, he doesn’t want to be alone but it seems like he doesn't have much say in that matter, he’s very focused on his mission and we see him taking things more seriously than ever.

Episode 6 is a very sensitive topic for me and the fandom in general, but in the beginning of it, during that montage where Loki’s trying to fix the loom we see him beaming with mischief and joy, he’s so hopeful, he has all the time of the universe on his hands, he’s finally in control and he couldn’t be happier.

He’s more confident and charming than we’ve ever seen before in the season, he’s very comfortable with himself and he even mentions casually to OB that he’s a god, he teases Mobius about an argument that only he can remember and he delights himself with Mobius’ confusion, despite being in control of the situation he’s never unkind to any of his friends, he’s patient with them and doesn’t get offended when Casey and everyone else is kinda skeptical about his throughput multiplier (old Loki would definitely get offended is someone dared to question his knowledge on something)

He lived those moments for so long that he already memorized everything they were going to say and he had fun with that too. He finished Mobius’ sentences and teased him about it, he was having the time of his life and that warms my heart.

But of course, with Loki happiness never lasts for long and we all know what happens next, there’s only one other occasion where he’s a little mischievous and that’s when he shows He Who Remains that he’s way more advanced than the man though he was and he already learned how to manipulate time.

Compared to s1 those moments aren’t a lot, especially because there Loki is so mischievous all the time that he borders on being a court jester, almost always being the comic relief of the scenes, his arrogance is played for laughs there, when he gets confident we’re not supposed to feel joy and excitement like we do in s2, after a boost in his ego he always gets knocked off his horse and we’re supposed to laugh at that.

(I added the third one because he's confident on his plan to get on the train but we immediately see that it's doomed to fail without sylvie's intervention)

But after rewatching scenes from both seasons I realized something that I think explains that shift, the Doylist explanation is obviously that the people involved in the making of s1 didn’t return for s2 and Eric Martin had a lot more respect for Loki than Waldron and Herron ever did, the Watsonian explanation is that Loki simply grew tired of wearing the masks he was so used to his whole life.

Loki always worried about how he presented himself in front of others, his title of god of mischief was an anchor for him after he learned the truth about himself and he decided to lean more and more on that, making it his whole personality and deciding to embrace the chaos within himself in order to find a new identity after the old one got ripped from him during that fateful trip to Jotunheim Thus he turned everything up to the max and became almost an eccentric figure, delighting himself in chaos and destruction and accepting his role as the villain. 

Loki, the person no longer existed, he died in Jotunheim when that giant revealed his blue skin and shattered every notion he had of himself, he was a character now, and he was going to act accordingly.

Now I’m not saying everything he did afterwards was forced or an act, no, after his fall he became wilder and indulged in chaos, he enjoyed wreaking havoc and causing problems for his brother and father, he liked doing those things, they brought him some kind of sick joy and he reveled in it.

But I also believe that the way he decided to carry himself was theatrical at times, exaggerated and dramatic, designed to make an impact on others and solidify his identity as the god of mischief, both for others and for himself. That follows him in s1, where he keeps trying to assert his identity in the TVA, both because he was stripped of all his titles and even his clothes and because he wanted to prove himself as the superior Loki (s1 I hate you so much for this).

As it was already addressed here, s1 knocked him off his horse several times, Waldron almost beat the confidence and ego out of him with humiliations, tortures, mocking, literal beatings and condescending remarks from other characters. Now, I’m not saying that Loki was completely broken by the end of s1, not even the realization that he the loom was a failsafe and that he had “wasted” centuries trying to fix it broke him, but he was certainly tired, and after watching his variants behave in the most pathetic way ever in the void (again, I hate s1 so much omg) I think he got self conscious about certain patterns of behavior and decided to let go of them. (we literally saw him getting embarrassed at himself in that scene too)

After that whole business with his variants he gets more serious and leans even more away from the exaggerated persona he adopted for himself, he still idealizes sylvie by that point, but that changes in the citadel when they (well, at least he) start to understand better the bigger picture and learn about the multiversal war, needless to say they fight and Loki is desperate to make her view things in the same way he does, his perspective on her changes after that, she’s no longer the altruistic variant who just wants to do the right thing, she’s an (rightfully) angry woman who seeks revenge and doesn’t care about the consequences of her actions.

So he arrives in s2 exhausted and terrified, his perspective on what it means to be a Loki was repeatedly shattered and his biggest concern was about the safety of the multiverse, he feels guilty for helping her on what could possibly be a catastrophic war that would destroy everything and his priorities change instantly: he wants to fix the mess he helped to start, and he doesn’t care about what it means to be a Loki anymore, or about what people think of him, he’s focused and he found a new purpose.

So my point is: what I initially viewed as Loki being melancholic and having lost his mischievous spark was actually him dropping all the masks he wore and just being… himself.

Not the diplomatic prince, not the god destined to cause mischief and spread chaos, not the trouble-making variant, not the arrogant asshole who didn’t tolerate anyone who got on his way, he was just being himself.

Loki, the man who could be carrying a massive burden on his back and would still find time to tease his friend over being a bad liar, the guy who loved magic and would find the most creative ways to flaunt it while being on an important mission, a gentleman who would not get caught walking around in the 1800’s without his pocket watch and his scarf pin (I really love the contrast between his and Mobius’ suits, even though it’s Mobius who approaches Victor first to talk about business, he assumes him to be Loki’s butler, no doubt because of the contrast in their clothes), the man who would stand up for his friends even though they weren’t there to see it.

Frigga’s quote “the measure of a person, of a hero, is how well they succeed at being who they are” comes to mind when I think about all those things, I have my questions with her as a character but I always loved that quote, and I think this is exactly what s2 Loki is about, that’s just him, he’s finally being himself, with no worries over the way others will see him, with no need to prove his worth, with no insecurities or self sabotaging tendencies, with no projected image designed to instill fear or admiration in others, for the first time he allows himself to be just a guy.

And of course, after that he realizes he has to embrace his divine nature more strongly than ever in order to protect the people he loves, but even then he stays true to himself and doesn’t make an elaborate performance on it, he walks the gangway, breaks the loom and ascends to his throne, none of what he did in the finale was for show. Yes, everyone was amazed at his powers, but that was just a consequence, it was not his intention to show off.

In conclusion: what I first thought to be Loki’s melancholy was simply him dropping his masks and being himself, with no exaggerated, dramatic antics, what we saw in s2 was Loki being the most comfortable with who he is and letting go of the need to project an image of who the god of mischief should be, he is still full of joy and mischief, but he won’t act in certain ways just to affirm his identity, both to himself and to others.

Thank you so much for reading all this, writing this was certainly a ride and I loved every second of it, if you have something to add or to share please feel free!

[littlespoonevan]

i think it's funny that there's a sort of inevitability to buck and eddie becoming a popular ship when you look at the start of s2. and it's not because they're two attractive guys or because of their chemistry or even because of what their relationship becomes later on. it's because of how eddie is introduced and folded into the narrative

with abby gone, there's a void in the show

maddie slips into her role at dispatch, taking over that 911 operator pov and offering the compassionate and clever perspective abby brought to the emergencies she dealt with

eddie, on the other hand, takes on her role in buck's life

abby is the person buck spends the most time with on a one to one basis in s1. abby is the one he talks to and who also confides in him when she's struggling. abby is the one he makes a conscious decision to step up for at the end of s1.

with her gone, it would make sense narratively to introduce a new love interest for buck. instead they introduce his sister (a dynamic we understand already exists, even if we don't know it yet) and his new coworker/best friend (and rival for approximately 20 mins lol) and everything abby was to buck and was for buck basically gets transferred to eddie. this is the person he's spending time with now, this is the person confiding in him, this is the person he can show up for over and over again because he wants to

i remember when i was watching the show for the first time back in 2021 i was trying So Hard not to get sucked in to buddie so i was very much watching as an outside observer. and i remember watching those first 4 or 5 eps of s2 and thinking, 'oh yeah i see why this is a thing because if this was a man and a woman all of this would be hinting to them falling in love down the line'

and even all these years and rewatches later it still reads like that!!!!

so much of those first couple of eps is orchestrating moments to establish buck and eddie's dynamic:

buck reassuring eddie during the earthquake that chris is fine before bringing eddie to pick him up at the end of the night (vs. say, buck helping abby look for her mom when she's goes missing and reassuring her, until he brings her to the hospital once she's found - significantly their first meeting and the thing that changes things between them).

and then buck taking eddie to the hospital when pepa calls about isabel's accident, giving bobby a head's up about eddie bringing chris to the station, discussing eddie's struggles with maddie bc he wants to help, calling carla to help eddie with childcare (all a direct parallel to bobby's encouragement he step up for abby and the way he did try to do that before she left)

those first few eps tell us eddie is Important to buck and he is personally invested in trying to make eddie's life better/more manageable (and on the flip side, they obviously need to create connections between eddie and the other characters if they want us to root for him. and with bobby and athena together, hen with karen, and chimney about to meet maddie for the first time, the only person missing a counterpoint is buck)

and none of this is me saying the show intentionally put eddie in abby's shoes (they definitely didn't) but from a purely logistical perspective of making eddie buck's primary new scene partner and when you consider the show didn't make the effort to establish ali as a new viable rival to what abby was for buck, it's like, of course people are gonna latch onto eddie and buck's relationship instead!!!!! of course this is where we were gonna end up!!!!!! what else did you expect!!!!!!

[pepstarvanmoon]

I don’t think Mike always thought of his first meeting with El in this way. As the series progressed, Mike started seeing their relationship differently (to be fair, it was declining), but it has to do with more than just seeing how powerful El is in comparison to himself.

A lot of the time, the situation is out of Mike’s hands. His ideas are effective, of course, but in the first half of S2 he’s always brought face-to-face with how little control he has.

I imagine Mike gave himself the role of ‘protector’ a long time ago, before the start of the series. A girl with powers popping up in the woods the day after your best friend goes missing is a lot to take in, but I don’t think they fully processed how dangerous the situation was until they were attacked directly.

Aside from the very real possibility of them dying, Mike was hit with the fact that he was powerless to save Will. Not without El, anyway, which is why he fought to keep her despite how upset he was with her for hurting Lucas.

Plenty of people have already discussed why Mike might’ve been willing to jump from the cliff (that shot of the rocks is very intentional. It tells us Mike won’t survive the jump, and we can assume Mike understands that as well, but it also shows us how small he feels)

Mike felt the crushed under the weight of his own weakness, and was raised up by El’s strength. Bottom line, El has the power to save, and Mike believes he doesn’t. So to save Will, he needs her, but he ultimately loses her.

It’s more than that, though. He lost her while she was saving them. None of them could do anything to stop the Demogorgon on their own. Mike can only sit back and watch.

Still, El is gone, so it’s up to Mike to be the protector again, and the opportunity comes in S2.

Mike cares a lot about Will, of course, they’re best friends, but it’s not a stretch to say Mike wants to be needed. Specifically him, for something only he can provide.

Mike ‘saved’ El by taking her in and showing her kindness, but rather than believing that it could’ve been anyone like he expressed in S4, I think he thought it could only be him, like it was expected.

The Wheeler family set-up is about the same as the Sinclair’s, except Lucas is the oldest. They never explain why they didn’t take El to Lucas’ house, given their proximity, for the time being because they don’t need to.

Mike is purposefully presented as a caring person who takes charge, but that also proves to be a problem as well. S1 was a sort of push for Mike, strengthening that need to protect after spending a few days feeling helpless. He fought back against bullies during this season, but it’s not something he’d usually do given everyone’s reaction. He might’ve felt inadequate even then, and El still protects him so who knows how he felt.

In Beyond Stranger Things, Finn talks about how Mike craves that feeling of being needed El gave him, and how happy he was to feel useful again when Will needed saving.

(I like how Mike doesn’t even mention how El’s powers could be helpful, but rather her ability to understand what Will’s going through. Since he can’t relate, Mike shares how he’s been feeling since El’s disappearance, choosing to be vulnerable with Will so they’re on an equal playing field.)Being there for Will helping him see his ‘powers’ in a more positive light was gratifying for Mike, but then it got out of control again, out of his control.

Mike believes he doesn’t have the power to save because he’s not strong enough. Fortunately, he’s a lot more determined in S2 (I like to think it’s because Will is still in their dimension, like he can actually see and touch him so it can’t be that bad, but it’s absolutely that bad lmao). He assured Will that they wouldn’t allow the ‘shadow monster’ to spy back, but he does, so he has to keep Will from inadvertently hurting other people. They lose Bob, but that pushes Mike to act.

(S2: Episode 8 is just leader Mike in his prime I’m so proud every rewatch 🤧)

Bob was a hero in his own right. He didn’t have to fight to save them, and given that he was the original founder of the AV club, they technically look up to him (or his brain, but you get it)

Point is: Part of Mike’s arc is realizing he’s capable of protecting, of saving, just not in the way he’s always envisioned, and his contributions—ideas that are entirely his own—are a lot more helpful than he gives himself credit for.

S3 makes Mike’s character a little tough to watch, but that’s only when he’s centered on his relationship issues. When questioning his own worth, it was always: am I strong enough? And now it’s: am I mature enough? He can guide El through the fundamentals of human life, but it’s all improv when navigating a real relationship. Unfortunately, Mike still sees himself as lesser than her (reinforced in S4), and having her back to help them fight only pushes this.

In S2 it may have been easier since everyone around him was a regular person going up against something so much bigger than themselves. He could do about as much as them. When Will was struggling, there were moments where he could only stand there and watch, but they eventually pieced together a solution.

In S3, the sauna test only trapped Billy for a short time, and they could distract the meat flayer, but without El, Hawkins is toast (and proceeds to become toast in S4 even with her around so ykw maybe Mike's valid in his self-doubt wait who said that)

Anyway, identity is very important in ST, and Mike's 'regression' in S4 makes a lot of sense even if it sucks watching him try to be someone he's not when it seemed like he was a lot more sure of himself in earlier seasons.

(let's not forget that social pressures and traumatic experiences are leading factors of insecurity, so pls give my son some grace 🙏)

[chipthekeeper]

Andor S1 Rewatch Commentary - Episode 6

me really early in this: "oh i'm not saying much"

also me: *makes this the longest one yet*

Alllllright, it's about time to start The Eye. I have a different kitty with me tonight. We'll see how long that lasts though, he seems like he already wants to run. Anyway definitely gonna be so normal about this one I promise……I promise

*painful groaning* I'm already whinin—god! (honestly you can almost stop reading here, it's mostly this)

Oh I'm so excited!! Little, are you excited? (he didn’t answer but he was purring) It's time for the heist! Is this your favorite episode? Is that why you came to sit with me? I bet so

Yeah, I think I'm just confirming the intro music in this arc is the best by far…slash my favorite, which makes it the best

Oh I'm gonna fucking sob. Ohhhhh……..

Coffee on the road. And a stupid hat. They gave Cassian the worst hat and I think it's funny *giggling* He looks so stupid

I really love how bitter Nemik is after learning that “Clem” doesn't really believe, of how bitter he is that he was wrong. Or that he thinks he was wrong, cuz he's not wrong. You know, he's “half right,” yeah, that's—it's a better way of putting it

Skeen watching again…he's always watching very fuzzily in the background

The Dhanis!!!!! I love them. So many good walking sticks here

I have to pause so I can yell at this fucking cat *I yell at the cat, then bang the fuck out of my knee on the coffee table when I come back* FUCK ME!! Oh my god. Okay. Having a great time. Back to it

Petigar’s curiosity is so interesting to me. Feel like he could have been turned eventually. If he hadn't been…shot, oh. Spoiler alert

I feel like I'm….not saying much in this because I'm just writing in my head again, slash just taking…taking notes more than writing I guess. Seen it a million times, already written about it so much, and yet just taking notes

*most excited gasp yet* There they are!!!!! There's my girls!!!!! *sighs* They're so cute. I just want to know about their night before, slash the morning—the whole timeline of this day is really interesting to me. Because it's still foggy like it's the morning but within the, I don't know, 40 minutes of the show it's completely nighttime. I have found it confusing. So I try not to think about it, but I do anyway

“They slaughtered her whole family” *groans for a full minute*

I love in the…in the behind-the-scenes thing when Britell talks about like the music of the Eye, the actual like, event. And then you just hear that one and you can kind of imagine how all of them sound together…..It's gotta be SO loud *laughing, then another gasp* Sharon!!!

I'm so sad already, I'm gonna lose muh boys :(((

Feeling a lot about Vel’s braids right now. I don't know why

*snickering at their faces when the guy is peeing* Not to quote my own fic but, “the Empire goes wherever it wants”

*pathetic whimper* I just whine every time I see them, it's gonna be like that the whole time until I just…until I start sobbing. I've been trying to mentally prepare for that all day, but I don't think it's….gonna work

He's 12 he can dress himself. Now come dress me! “Perhaps you've expanded?” Oh Roboda I love you…..Ah? Did Leonart just flinch when he started coming over? Oh god, fuck this guy. “Might fear the back of my hand,” yeah. Roboda you deserve better, leave him!! “I look forward to seeing that” *snorts* Scalped him. Twice in one scene!

Thinking back to the first time I watched this, and when the one guy said “company, halt” and then Taramyn said “squad, halt” I was so. nervous. Because I was like, oh, he said the wrong thing, they're gonna know, they're gonna know and they're gonna get found out, they're all gonna die! And you know, um, I was wrong but then I was right

It's kind of wild how smoothly this goes until it doesn't. And I…I'll say it again, but I’m really gonna miss the whole week of wondering how it was gonna go wrong, because you knew it had to. You knew something had to go wrong, even if they succeeded. And you had a whole week to theorize about what would happen. And now we're just not gonna get that

I like Gorn’s trench coat

Scuba girlfriends!!!!! Such a cool shot. Wait, was that more of the old temple or something….under the water..? Hmm no, that doesn't make any sense

GORNBODA!!!!!

See, it’s starting to get darker, it's already the evening. The lights are coming on. How many hours has it been, how many did it take for them to walk over?? I just kinda yadda yadda the whole timeline writing about it, but I want to know for sure

Get down! music yay! That's probably my favorite track, after their song *I just start doing the notes*

“You're stalling” oh god I love this sceeeene. It's….god, I don't know, I just I can't be coherent. I just love it and it gives me a stomachache and I'm so proud of her for going but I'm so sad for her that she has to–she'll think—she'll have this nightmare for forever. Being up here, scared of the weight, taking too long

Too wrapped up in Vel thoughts to acknowledge the banger line that the Dhani chieftain gives

Wheeee! I remember their jump being part of the trailers, and speculating and speculating, speculating what the hell that could be about. No one was anywhere close. Didn't even know who it was doing that

I love this guy that the chief has to push out of the way. He looks like one of my uncles…..And then he fist pumps hahaha

There’s much more to the garrison, like off to the side…in the mountain…that I never really look at. And I need to think about that. I don't know why (this is the part of the editing process where I realize I’m leaving most of this in just for fic notes for later)

Love this guy sitting down on the job—woop, and he pops up

Oh Nemik is so scared, about to blow it all. No, you let the boy go! Leave him alone!!.....Cinta’s here to save the day, god what a fucking badass. Jesus

Bitch slap!!!!

I love how quickly Vel turns it on after the jump. “Starts now” Like she was scared up there, but as soon as Cinta snaps her out of it she's back, she's locked in. She's making herself big

I want to try whatever that drink is. Also need to look at some screencaps and see what kind of food they've got going on

Sharon's so happy. That guy's so happy, everybody happy and I'm gonna cry *painful chuckling*

Fuck. No I'm not ready I'm not ready I'm not ready I'm not ready. Ohhhh god okay, pausing. Pausing, because I'm not ready *pauses it and takes several deep breaths* Okay….. *very deep and long whine as I turn it back on* Nooo-oh god. Okay. I have to pause already in the middle because I can't—gah, fuck! Okay. I…yeah, I don't think I'm gonna say any real…words? Gaahhh—Cinta’s voice, I…..that's oh my fucking god, I'll never get over it…..And she has to physically—she has to physically stand up straight and and shake it off. I—hoohhhh. Okay. Yeah, I'll have more thoughts…I'm sure. I'm sure they'll come but uh….right now I'm….I’m just…goo

Rewinding a little bit to say that Vel making Clem go out first is really funny to me, always

Need to learn how to play this card game that they're doing. Is it sabacc? I don't actually–I don't think so. I’m sure there's lots of variations of sabacc, but I don't think that's one of them

I love Vel’s cool jackettttt

Must be so satisfying to get on the set of a Star Wars ship and just flip all the little buttons and switches

“Fire in the hole!!” That moment had to be such a big deep breath, like okay…maybe we can actually do this “LEEETTT’SSSS GOOOOOO!!!!!”

Noooooo Lance Hunter you fucking—!!!

When can she yell at me?

Cinta gets changed really fast *laughs* never really noticed that before, she does such a quick change. And I'm sure we're not seeing every second of this but still it's kind of funny after a million watches. I do really wish that they sort of addressed how it must have felt for her to wear that. But I guess that's my job. And eventually I'll do it but….oh it hurts

It's the first day of manual labor this guy's ever done in his life…..he would never survive in the marketing department

Those stairs do not look really safe to be going down quickly. But that's the Empire for you

The music of the Eye!!!! I got a chill. I got a chill! How many times have I watched this and I still get a chill? *sniffles* Fuck I've got goosebumps all over me

The moment of realization on Jayhold’s face. Beautiful. Just beautiful. “Seven years serving you? I deserve worse than that”

If I was one of these TIE pilots I'd be saying umm no thank you—oh my god. Such a traumatic sound, the sound of that cart flippin’--- ayyy shot of the day!

*more intense groaning* ahhh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck……God. It's never ever gonna not piss me off the way that they killed Gorn. Just, in a completely missable shot, like you can literally blink and miss it. Literally………Fortunately though, he's not dead and I-I'm keeping that conspiracy theory close. Is it true? No, absolutely not. But I believe it anyway

COVER HIM Skeen, you fucking bastard. That is the wrong gun for this. No!!! Heh, I wasn't even quoting Vel, that was just my natural reaction *laughs painfully*

Oh god…….*deep sigh, then groaning while talking* This shot kills meeeeee…."Where's Taramyn" and then just…Vel’s face, jesus

I think I lied, I think this is my favorite track…..wheeee! Oh….I didn't mentally prepare for that part either…..

Really wish we'd had a shot of Cinta up there seeing the Rono go. Really really really wish we'd seen that

Watching for the first time when he's like, I can't feel my legs. I'm like, oh, thank god! He's just paralyzed! He's not dead!! Yeah……

I wish somebody would med spike me, honestly

This is another trailer shot. And that was one that you were just like, whaaat the fuck could they possibly be doing in this show?

Aaahhh Nemik holding on to Vel's leg, I'm normal about it!!! CLIIIIMMMBBB!!!!.....I am crying, let the record reflect

Okay fine, I guess they just couldn't have showed Cinta up there because she was already going down but still! Still!! I deserve to see that. And you know what…I don't even think–it could still—oh, there's the crying lady and now I need to stop talking because I'm gonna cry too…

Not the hands!!! *blows raspberry*

“That's not fair” yeah that's all I'm gonna say. That's not fair. It's not fair……….I need to make some more gifs. Right now

*whining like an abandoned puppy*

This place looks peaceful at least. Ol’ Doctor Quadpaw…..I wonder what kind of cybernetics he has….God, Vel's face :((( that's her little brotherrrr :(((

“Yeah, luck. Drives the whole damn galaxy doesn't it?”.........God. The tension. It's like, constricting my fucking body, even though I know what's happening…. "Me against everybody else”..... I think…what I choose to believe…is happening in this scene, is that Skeen is suicidal, but he doesn't want to do it himself. I don't have a brother, he's dying in that hut. So I don't want to be here anymore

Just…what a shocking moment. I'm sure I screamed, I don't fully remember but I…I know I was shocked as hell. Probably screaming no you idiot, that was a test!!! Even though I don't really believe that anymore but I definitely did then

“Thank you for trying” and then she holds his armmmmmm *sniffles*

Is this where I plug my idea that the kyber crystal was actually Vel’s mom's and she recognizes it and she does not want to give it back to her dad? Just a free little headcanon there for you. That's in the version where I believe that Vel’s mom died. And was maybe a Jedi? Okay nah, we don't have to go that far

Ghorman mentioned. Ding, that's two 

Hmm. “It's a Devaron blue.” Lots of blue….they're both wearing blue, Mon was wearing blue…What's happening?

Was Kleya almost smiling there? I always thought that but it didn't really look like it this time. This guy's definitely smiling. I don't really use this as a reaction enough. I need to make that gif. The breath….yeah, you get to laugh and be relieved but my girl’s traumatized forever now!!!!

What an episode! What an arc! What a show! God. We're halfway done rewatching which means we're h….halfway to new shit. Fuck. All right, I'm gonna turn this off now cuz it's Daredevil time in a few minutes (spoiler alert, it was not Daredevil time for long)

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

[lucianalight]

Hi! I'm back :) after another long hiatus😅 I have missed all of you❤️

First of all a huge thank you to everyone who were worried and asked about my health and how I was doing. I wasn't doing well tbh. I'm one of those people who had the misfortune of never quite recovering from covid. I already had one chronic illness that was messing up my life and health. Having another on top of that takes a lot of physical, emotional and mental toll and limits my energy greatly. So I needed time to get used to my new reality and condition and learn to how manage it and live with it. It's still a work in progress and doctor appointments are seeming endless but at least some meds are helping. So there's that.

You probably already know the second reason why I wasn't doing well. I've seen terrible things…And you need time to process them. To grieve, to deal with trauma and survivor's guilt, and nurture your anger and keep fighting, keep resisting…

And well, internet connection still sucks so using social media is kind of an ordeal :D

There were a lot of times that I wanted to come back on tumblr but every time some issue would come up and take my motivation and energy. Then two weeks ago, after I couldn't crush the little ray of hope that maybe this time I'm going to see sth I like, I started watching season 2 of Loki. I watched it while promising myself that I'm not going to care anymore if it's bad, reminding myself that I might see sth as bad as season 1. Still I was surprised that I didn't hate it. On the contrary there were moments that were entertaining and even enjoyable. And those moments were more than the ones I dislike. It was better than season 1 and admittedly that's a low bar since I consider S1 one of the worst tv shows I've ever seen, but there were noticeable changes in pace and tone of the narrative and characterization in S2. Some issues in S1 was addressed. Loki was actually the main character of his series and got to do badass magic stuff :D The characters were flesh out and three dimensional and likable(I love OB so much :D). There was no romance. The ending was great.

There were of course things I didn't like. Removing Loki's backstory and his issues with his family from the story is one of them. How some of his moments in past was addressed. The episodes at times got boring or very predictable. There were times that Loki was ooc or comedic moments that weren't delivered well.

It wasn't perfect but at least acceptable. And probably the best Loki content we got since TDW. And I liked the ending a lot. I found myself keep going back to rewatch some scenes. I found myself analyzing the content happily. I had things to say. So here I am :D basically I'm 100% back to my Loki bs and I'm making it everyone's problem :P

Whether you loved the series or hated it, you're welcome on my blog and you're welcome to send me your opinions and engage with me in discussions and metas. I will tag posts accordingly in case you want to avoid certain content(tbh I still don't know what the new tags will be because I haven't written anything yet but I will make a post when I do).

There will be posts of some new fandoms so block their tags if you don't want to see those posts. The new fandoms are Sandman tv show(I haven't finished the comics so plz don't spoil them for me), Wednesday, My Hero Academia, Shadow and Bone, and The Bifrost Incident.

As I mentioned above I'm dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and have a limited energy each day. I will try to answer your messages, comments and asks as soon as I can but it might take a long time. Sry about that.

And finally a warm welcome to all the new followers and thanks to everyone who are still following me❤️

[addictedtostorytelling]

hiya! im starting (yet another lmao) csi rewatch in hopes of getting as many timestamps as i can, for fics. ive seen through your posts you've done something similar and i was wondering whats your earliest one? im only a few eps i to s1 but already im remebering the first few are vastly different to later episodes. there are less crime scene pictures, less evidence layouts, etc. i'm just wondering how far i have before i get an actual point to plot! 🤣

(please keep up your csi metas i love themmm <3)

hi, rewatch anon!

good to hear from you again!

so i actually have dates for the first couple of csi episodes, not based on documentary evidence—as you state, the early episodes are very sparse on any kind of helpful paperwork or timestamps, a la evidence photos, lab printouts, cctv footage, etc.—but rather on some extrapolation.

remember how in the pilot warrick places a bet on an nfl football game between green bay and san francisco for judge cohen?

well, during the 2000-2001 nfl season, the green bay packers played the san francisco 49ers on 10.15.00—which makes that our date for episode 01x01 "pilot." this date aligns with the episode's original air date also being in october 2000 (10.06.00).

while the air dates and in-universe dates for episodes don't always line up, the writers did generally try to set episodes during the same months in which they originally aired where they could.

from there, we can deduce that the action for episode 01x02 "cool change" takes place one day later on 10.16.00.

which makes that date the anniversary for when sara first comes to vegas!

coincidentally, grissom and sara get engaged to each other exactly seven years and one day later, on 10.17.07.

in episode 01x03 "crate n' burial," it is mentioned that nick has been a csi level iii for about two weeks by that point, which means that the action for that episode primarily takes place on 10.29.00 (approximately).

unfortunately, after that point, the in-universe dates trail goes cold for a while.

the next one i've been able to find is for episode 01x10 "sex, lies, & larvae," which is the first time (to my knowledge) a date shows up based on documentary evidence: the paper marker on the morgue drawer where kaye shelton's body is stored allows us to determine that the main action for this episode takes place between 12.10.00 and 12.15.00 (as kaye has been dead for five days by the time of her body's discovery).

from there, dates continue to be extremely hit or miss throughout the rest of s1. it isn't until s2 that they start to more consistently feature, appearing in most episodes.

of course, even then, most seasons still have at least one or two episodes in them i've never been able to find dates for. the first and only completely dated season i have charted out is s7! all the rest of them have gaps.

which is to say nothing of the internal chronological inconsistencies, which are a whole problem unto themselves.

anyway, good luck with your endeavors, anon! enjoy your rewatch!

please feel welcome to send another question any time!

[spectres-fulcrum]

And S2 Part 1 spoilers (4 BBY)

I feel so alive! I forgot how good Andor is. Like maybe I prefer other SW series but Andor is objectively the best of the best Star Wars. Like legit. The only parts I disliked of that episode was Cassian crash landed with all those kids and I'm certain once we see the planet(Yavin!!!!!) become Rebel base it will make sense.

For context: I watched Andor S1 live, my mom and I rewatched the first half Sunday and yesterday but I couldn't wait to start S2 so my memory of the back half of S1 is spotty and I didn't follow much S2 promo other than the big one or two so everything was a surprise.

THEY FORGOT BEE! That's so unforgivable.

Okay that's the most important thing. More under the cut(Lol)

Also I'm :( about Brasso. I wanted him to live longer.

I didn't expect to see Krennic so early. I did know the massacre was going to happen and an elite meeting was so cool. Dedra is going to do so well(Derogatory).

I didn't expect Syril and Dedra to be a thing already, and there was something so funny about their mundane life. Living together in a boring but surface level Coruscanti apartment, meeting the parent. Dedra says they had no idea what the were missing(A mother's love) and Syril reacting in a way that said he never had a mother's love either.

Dedra telling off Eedy was amazing. I'm certain she had bigger plans for Syril, but her telling Eedy that her presence in their life would be based on how badly she triggered Syril's anxiety was... Sweet? In the way Tarkin and TK-421 talking about the weirdest things and laughing during and after sex is. Keeps even the worst of them human.

Chandrilian wedding culture was so pretty. All the colors and dancing and the wedding ceremony with the parents

I SO wanted Leida to back out. She was like "He's such a child :( :<" and I'm like he's a year older than you and he's a literal child. You are a child. God, I can't believe Mon actually allowed this.

I forget how the Tay arc ended in S1, I thought it ended badly so I was just like ???? but still. Was sad when he drove off with Cinta.

Vel and Cinta! Vel's look of utter betrayal to see Cinta right there where she grew up and Cinta did nothing, didn't reach other, didn't do anything.

Bix is amazing. The ceep deserved it all. I already love her so much more than S1.

Cassian and the Imperial spy pilot made me think of Kallus! And him sneaking info. Soon both Fulcrums will be active <3

Lowkey want to say this is my favorite Star Wars movie. It was SO good.

[kinardsevan]

10 TV Shows

Tagged by @v88sy. Please feel free to join.

Veronica Mars

I love a lot of procedurals, but this one found me at 19 and stole my soul. I love Kristen so much and refuse to accept that the final few minutes of season 4 exists. This is my ultimate rewatch, s1 all the way through. (Still haven't finished s4 though because of its ending).

2. Castle

Again. 19. Found this one in the same year, found out it was a crime procedural with a writer as the protagonist. SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.

3. Law and Order (original recipe)

I've only seen from s13 on because of the limitations with NBC streaming options, but I do love Jack. Dick Wolf found lightning in a bottle with this franchise.

4. Criminal Minds

(have we sensed a theme here yet?)

Guess when I found this one? (Still 2011.) My mom loved Shemar Moore on Y&R when I was a kid, so starting this one was easy. She doesn't get into the borderline gore and horror of CM though, so she'll really only watch the lighter episodes. Me? Seen everything up through 15 (school and work have kept me too busy for 16 yet).

5. 9-1-1

SOMETHING FROM AFTER 2011?! Found this one in the pandie. My best friend was watching it (we'd talked about it a few times from what I recall), and I know my mom was already into it and I had plans to watch it, but I was already in school, and 2019/20 was rough on my mental health between my job closing its doors, the pandemic starting, and me being back in school. Buck has literally always been my favorite. He's who I relate to most, and given the focus I put into the most recent rewatch, it's obvious why. We have a lot of things in common, both personality-wise and with childhood trauma. That all said, I've had spurts and starts with this baby. Started it in 2020, got caught up. Went through the mess of school taking over my life and falling off here and there, playing catch-up. I know I was fairly caught up in season 6, but post-infection with the brain damage, I kinda had to do the full rewatch this year.

6. Grey's Anatomy

Quite literally grew up with this one. My aunt told my mom, who told us, and then by season 3, the whole family was watching. I fell off for a beat when Mark died (he was my favorite), but then really fell off when Derek died. Only started playing catch up when I found out about Nick and the fact that Ellen wanted to leave the show. I knew they'd give her a happy ending (of sorts), which drove me to watch everything I'd missed (plus my mom still watched even when I quit, so I knew about Deluca, who she loved).

7. Nashville

Loved this one basically from the jump. Anything with music has the opportunity to steal my soul. It's also one of the reasons I can't get into the hate for Abby on 9-1-1. This show made me loved Connie Britton too much.

8. Schitt's Creek

So this one 😂😂😂 I think I started Schitts Creek three(?) separate times? Never got into it. The humor was too dry, I didn't really feel anything about it all, and...idk. It was just not my cup of tea.

And then my life went to shit 😂😂😂 In all seriousness though, this was one of those shows that I can point to and say "this one saved me". The way it made me laugh in the face of some really unimaginable pain and an existential crisis is something I will never forget. Definitely due for a rewatch this summer.

9. One Tree Hill

So. I started this show in season 2. Went out of my way to watch it after starting The OC halfway through both shows inaugural seasons. Literally everyone I knew didn't give two craps about this show then. They didn't care when it was nearly cancelled after season 4, and how hard the fans fought for season 5. Most of them didn't even really care after season 6 when CMM and Hilarie Burton were cut from the show. Nah, most of the people I know found OTH when it hit streaming a few years ago. I have complicated feelings about it now, given what we know about how MS treated the girls, and all of the trauma inflicted on them. I know that SB, HB, and BJL all support us still watching, but it's rough for me to contend with that even so.

10. Pretty Little Liars

So..... I haven't watched this since it ended. It started when I was 17/18, so I was easily sucked in by the teacher/student concept and fell in love with Ezria. I also had watched American Juniors and knew who Lucy was (and subsequently lusted after her making music for AGES; still do). However, being a full-fledged adult now with babies in school (my niece is in HS now), I can't justify how problematic this ship is.

BONUS:

11. Instant Star

Soooo a generous chunk of people know who Tim Rozon is now because of Schitts Creek and Wynona Earp, but have they seen this baby? Because I started this one after remembering Alexz Johnson from So Weird when she eneded up on IS in 2004. This was the show that got me through the end of of middle school and into high school, and I still listen to the music occasionally. I've done a few rewatches of it as an adult, and while I still don't like the age difference, these two at least waited until she was 18.

[homerjacksons]

Fluffy February - @fluffyfebruary Day 25: Kiss Word count: 2,637 Fandom: Ripper Street Pairing: Homer Jackson/Edmund Reid AO3

A/N: This is a 5+1 fic!

All 5 "almost kiss" moments are inspired by actual canon events, little missing scenes I've decided to write in. However, I'm only up to the end of s1 in my rewatch and this starts at the end of s1 so...any inaccuracies are due to my goldfish brain, apologies.

The +1 at the end is a direct follow-up to day 3 in this collection, with the first line being the last line from that ficlet.

i

Jackson didn’t know what to do. His whole body was vibrating with pent up energy. The last 24 hours had been absolute hell, hell he’d been sure he wasn’t going to come back from. If he were being honest, he still wasn’t sure. If he were found guilty of being the Ripper, he would hang, no doubt about it.

“I’ll get you out of this,” Reid muttered, still leaning against the bars as though he refused to leave Jackson’s side. After all he’d done, he wasn’t sure he deserved it.

He sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair, pacing the length of his cell once more. He felt sick with it, with all he’d done, with all that was yet to come. He just wanted to rest, to fall into Susan’s arms and sleep, be at peace at last. He wasn’t sure if Susan would even have him, not really. They hadn’t had time to discuss what the day’s events meant for them. All he knew was he wanted–needed–to rest, preferably in the arms of someone he loved.

“Stop pacing, you’re giving me a headache,” Reid bit out.

“You don’t have to be here,” Jackson snapped back, pausing in front of him, just the bars between them and precious little air. “In fact, shouldn’t you be out there clearing my name?”

“Fine.” Reid sounded angry, put out, almost hurt as he pushed away from the bars and made to walk away. But Jackson caught him by the wrist before he could.

“Wait.” Reid stopped, turned to look at him, expression hard. “Are you hurt?”

“You arrived in time.”

“Let me take a proper look,” Jackson insisted, knowing he had to do something.

Reid hesitated a moment before reaching into his pocket for the keys to Jackson’s cell, and he released his hold on Reid’s wrist to allow him to unlock it and enter.

“Sit down.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Reid said, though he complied.

Jackson knelt before him, peeling back his collar to view the bruises at Reid’s neck, the slight cut where the cuffs had bit into flesh, fingertips trailing gently, reverently, over both. Reid sucked in a sharp breath as Jackson’s fingertips ventured to the edges of the scar at his shoulder and he pulled back, resting his hand over Reid’s chest, fingertips settling at the hollow of his neck.

Reid swallowed thickly, eyes downcast, and when he finally looked at Jackson, through his eyelashes rather than head on, Jackson’s breath caught in his throat. He knew why, knew his mind and his body well enough, he just wasn’t sure why now, why this moment, when so many others had passed before them, more charged and less emotionally fraught.

“I told you I am fine,” Reid said, voice a little huskier than before.

“Just had to see for myself.”

It would be so easy to lean in, to close the distance. What was one more crime tacked onto the long list added to his name today. If Reid didn’t want to kiss him, if Jackson was reading the moment all wrong, it wouldn’t fuck his life up any more than it already was. He thought about it, licked his lips, felt Reid lean in infinitesimally against his hand, that pressure almost like permission, but he pulled back at the last moment, patting Reid’s shirt down before standing once more.

“I am sorry, Reid,” he muttered, voice hoarse enough he had to clear it before continuing. “For all of it.”

For Hobbs, for running, for Goodnight, for Swift, for aiming a gun at him, at Drake, for his past, for what was likely to become of his future.

Reid didn’t respond. He just stood, making his way wordlessly to the door of the cell, casting one last, inscrutable look Jackson’s way before locking it behind him and striding off.

ii

For a brief moment, hope had lived inside his heart, hope that he'd see his little girl again, hold her in his arms, take her home where she belonged. For a brief moment, he'd felt so alive again. Then all his hopes had been dashed in an instant, everything he'd been clinging to had crumbled, and he was left floundering, left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, his broken life, once more. 

Reid’s whole body shuddered as he suppressed a sob, leaning forward against his desk, letting it take most of his weight. His head hung low, breath hitching as he attempted to pull himself together.

He straightened as he heard the door behind him open, clearing his throat, though he couldn’t dash the damning wetness from his eyes before Jackson was beside him, one hand on his shoulder, the other covering his where it still gripped the desk.

“I am so sorry, Reid,” Jackson whispered, giving Reid’s hand a small squeeze.

It struck Reid as odd and yet fitting at the same time that it would be Jackson here comforting him, Jackson trying to help, and not his wife nor his best friend. He tried to offer Jackson a smile but it crumbled and he looked away, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Jackson eased him into a chair, never once fully removing his touch, whether it was a hand on his arm, his shoulder, his back. He shivered as Jackson took his hand again, kneeling before him.

“I dunno what to say, Reid,” Jackson whispered, offering a sad smile.

He watched as Jackson reached up, hand hovering by Reid’s face as though he were going to cup Reid’s cheek. And oh, how Reid wished he would in that moment. How he wished Jackson would touch him like that, how he wished he could lean into that touch, let Jackson soothe his pain, let Jackson press a gentle, comforting kiss to his lips. He craved it so suddenly his breath caught in his throat, but then Jackson's hand fell to his shoulder.

“Tell me what you need.”

Reid couldn’t, not really. His heart hammered against his ribs as he looked into Jackson’s eyes. Sometimes he was sure Jackson felt this too, this pull between them. But he also knew how Jackson felt about Susan, how he would choose her above all else, always. And quite rightly, too—Reid had no claim over him.

“Nothing, Jackson,” he said quietly, voice tight as it squeezed past the lump in his throat. “Go home, be with your wife.”

iii

“Jackson.”

Jackson hummed in response, forcing his head up enough to look at Reid. “Thought you were gone.”

“I, uh…” Reid trailed off, looking almost embarrassed, and that was interesting enough for him to lift his head properly and look Reid in the eye despite the way the room spun nauseatingly around him.

“I’m on it,” Jackson muttered, realising Reid wasn’t embarrassed at all, that he just looked impatient as always. “Was just restin’ my eyes so I don’t mess up the dose.”

“No,” Reid said softly, moving to kneel before Jackson, hand hesitating before settling on his shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Jackson snorted, vision swimming a little as he cocked his head to the side. “You've changed your tune.”

Jackson’s head lolled to the side and he was surprised when Reid’s hands came up to cup his cheeks, holding his head upright. Jackson blinked against the vertigo and met Reid’s intense gaze. He looked on the verge of something, eyes flitting across Jackson’s face, from his eyes to his lips and back again like he was struggling with something, though Jackson’s mind was too fuzzy to work out what.

“How can I help?” Reid asked quietly.

His thumb brushed against Jackson’s cheek, distractingly tender, and for a moment, all he could see was Reid’s lips as his heart hammered against his ribs. He tilted forward, unintentionally though he wouldn't be surprised if his drug-hazed brain had tried and failed to make a decision. Reid removed one hand from his face to settle on his chest, keeping him upright.

“‘M fine, Reid,” he murmured, realising it was best to remove himself from this situation before he did something he couldn’t take back. “Just need a coffee and a cigarette and I’ll be good to go.”

He patted Reid’s cheek clumsily before standing, staggering a little as he made his way to the door in search of both, leaving Reid bewildered in his wake.

iv

Jackson had never done this before, never shown up at Reid’s place. He only knew where the man lived on paper, had never even set eyes on the building though he’d thought about it often, thought about how it might feel to be welcome there any time.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before knocking.

He’d imagined showing up here, all casual nonchalance, a cigarette between his lips and a bottle of whiskey in hand. He’d imagined arriving with his arm about Reid’s shoulder, the two of them drunk and stumbling home, invited to spend the night on Reid’s couch, the thought of more teasing him behind closed doors. He’d imagined showing up here with false bravado and declarations he couldn’t take back. He’d imagined this so many ways, but none of them had involved him feeling broken with nowhere else to turn but the bottom of a bottle and a gutter down some dark alley.

The bottle had been tempting, he couldn’t lie, but the temptation of Reid was stronger, the ache in his heart yearning to be soothed in some way no matter how hard it was to picture Reid caring for him.

“Jackson?” Reid asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He straightened, swallowed, aimed for a smile then sighed, realising he couldn’t be assed, and braced himself against the door frame instead. “Susan threw me out.”

Jackson was sure he saw a smile tugging at Reid’s lips for just a moment before it was gone in a flash, concern pulling his brow together as he wordlessly led Jackson inside.

“Drink?”

“Please,” Jackson replied, voice catching on that one, simple word, making him sound utterly desperate.

Reid poured them both a drink while Jackson hovered, uncertain and entirely out of his depth. He handed Jackson his glass and led him to the couch, sitting down, gesturing for Jackson to do the same.

He downed a large mouthful of the drink, relishing the burn, hoping it would stop his hands from shaking, but he had no such luck. He gripped the glass tighter, frustration bubbling inside him, and just as he was beginning to wish he’d not come here, not sought comfort where he’d never find any, Reid gently pried the glass from his hands, placing it aside before taking both Jackson’s hands in his own.

“I’m sorry,” Jackson whispered before Reid could say anything, shame bubbling up inside him.

“You’ve nothing to apologise for,” Reid said softly, giving his hands a small squeeze.

Jackson chanced a glance at Reid and his heart stuttered at the look of open affection and compassion he saw there, something he so rarely saw on Reid’s face, certainly not aimed at him.

It wasn’t the first time he was overcome with the urge to close the distance between them and press his lips to Reid’s, but this somehow felt the most dangerous, the most emotionally charged.

He swallowed, leaning in a little, hesitating as he tried to gauge Reid’s reaction. He thought Reid was going to lean in too, meet him halfway. He was sure as he watched Reid lick his lips, watched as his eyes darted to Jackson’s mouth before darting away again. He hovered, about to close the distance, when Reid sat back, letting go of Jackson’s hands with a quick pat.

“I’ll make up a bed for you,” Reid said, and he’d left the room before Jackson’s thoughts had even caught up.

v

Reid bristled, but he thrilled all the same to hear Jackson tease him once again, a response that was insanity, he was sure, but one he was so tired of fighting. So he dared to ask the question, dared to, in a roundabout way, attempt to get to the point, to finally stop, once and for all, their endless dancing around one another.

He found himself leaning in, unable to help it, as Jackson’s hand settled on his back, as Jackson leaned into his space. He breathed in deeply, eyes only leaving Jackson’s briefly to dart to his lips before locking eyes with him once more.

And then Jackson moved away, left Reid hovering in his wake, lips tingling with anticipation, with something that had yet to pass.

“We needle, we goad, because if we did not we would be forced to speak the truth.”

Reid swallowed at Jackson’s words, heart hammering against his ribs, barely daring to hope they may be on the same page.

He trailed Jackson, almost unconsciously. “Suppose for just one moment that was not–” He was brought to a sudden stop as Jackson thrust a drink between them and into Reid’s hands, causing his heart to stutter as their fingertips brushed. He forced himself to continue, barely holding his composure. “Suppose for one minute that was not the case. What would the truth say?”

He looked into Jackson’s eyes, willing him to understand, to play along, to finally put an end to the tension that seemed to be bubbling between them since the day they met. He was not quite brave enough to take that leap on his own, was not brave enough to kiss the man before him or confess to any feelings without the assurance that it was safe to do so, that Jackson felt the same, or at the very least, would not turn away from him.

“The truth?” Jackson started, and Reid had to remember to breathe. “That the good councillor fits with you. That the two of you look right together. And that I am sorry that your life is not less…complex.”

Reid’s heart dropped to his stomach, a chill crossing over him as a lump formed in his throat. He had been sure, so sure, that Jackson would infer his meaning. But perhaps he had. Perhaps he knew exactly what Reid was trying to say and was letting him down gently, safely, a way that they could both come back from, could continue on as though nothing had happened.

Because nothing had happened.

He swallowed down his disappointment, glancing at Jackson’s lips for just a brief moment before downing his drink in one, letting it wash away the hurt.

+

“C’mere, then,” Jackson said, laughter still in his voice as he crooked a finger at Reid. “I can find better ways to entertain you.”

Jackson laughed at the stunned look on Reid’s face, unable to hold it in, pure joy rising inside him. He’d spent so long second guessing himself, spent so long convincing himself that loving Reid was a fool’s errand, doomed from the start, could never come to anything.

But there Reid was, his love so clearly etched into every feature, every inch of his face brimming with affection, and Jackson couldn’t believe he’d convinced himself otherwise. There had to have been moments where Reid had looked at him like that, as though he’d hung the moon, as though his existence was something magical, but it had never been there long enough for him to convince himself he hadn’t imagined it.

Then here Reid was, watching him work, adoration so clear on his face that Jackson almost, almost, felt a fool for having never had the courage to act before.

He cupped Reid’s face in hands, sliding one hand back into his hair. He brushed his thumb across Reid’s lips, faces inches apart.

“I thought—I thought—you rebuffed me and—“

“Shut up, Reid,” Jackson whispered, cutting him off with a kiss.

[sky-neverending]

Finally doing my heartstopper note taking/ analyzing!! starting with season 2 episode 1, bites under the cut bc it’s long boy. strap in for me squealing a bunch and occasionally getting deep

Episode One Rewatch

Starting with the opening scene, and possibly one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack. The song parallels too, with last season starting with a song that is basically saying how someone wants to be enough for the person I like, and how this one is about how he’d give the world to be with Nick. Maybe that’s just something i’m overthinking but idk.

S1: “I wish I thought that I was pretty so that i could turn you on….”

S2: “Sweeter than the best you ever had…. I’d do anything just to feel with you.”

I love how it’s calm and then immediately jumps into the action with Nick texting Charlie. I also like how it parallels the first scene of episode one, but this time Charlie is happy. Love Tori sipping her drink. All of that scene really shows “Hey, we’re happy for once with what is going on in life,” and I enjoy that. Also Charlie being obsessed with Nick and texting him 24/7 is cute.

Then we get to the classic ‘Hi’ that Nick and Charlie are known for, which is the perfect first interaction for them this season.

Nick pulling Charlie into an empty room and telling him he came out to his mom and Charlie immediately asking how it went, and then basically jumping on Nick when he heard it went well is so good. and then “Want a well done kiss?” Is such a cute line.

And then boom we’re making out. Also Nick pulling away and saying “Kissing at school is a terrible idea” and then going back to kissing is so iconic.

And then theres the whole montage of them being cute and making out, which i could go on and on about but I’ll spare you bc this is getting long already oops.

Nick and Charlie at the door, the hands touching and the sparks, the little waves goodbye, the soft smiles, all of it makes me so eeeeeeee.

The “I have a boyfriend!” scene is so cute, with Tao admitting Nick is “okay” after Issac gives him a look lmao. and then them talking about him coming out, and Tao being concerned as always lmao

also that shop they go to is really aesthetically pleasing idk

And Tao’s rrrrrude is awesome. Also him and Elle fighting over the apple juice is adorable. I love how they interact, the way they play off each other so nicely. Of course, Tao gets all awkward and runs, but he means well. I’m glad we get to see their dynamic more, because it truly is such a good time.

I’m also glad Nick and Imogen are still friends, because Imogen deserves platonic love. And Nick’s friends calling out to him, trying to make amends, shows that they mean well, and I’m glad for it. We just Ignore Harry being a dick. Anyway Imogen immediately running up to him with her little “Nicholas!!” and being so excited about her dog. and her wanting to move to brooklyn makes so much sense. i'm so glad they had a talk and want to be friends.

Nick’s little pause when she asks about his romantic developments is smth that makes me go awww bc its so obvious he *wants* to tell her, but its hard and he can’t, which I understand completely.

I also don’t understand British schools but Nick having to do studying next to Ben makes me gag bc Ben makes me gag. but the top down shot is so cool

also the “QUIET” from Mr. Farouk is what i've been waiting for yesss. He’s so… i just love him.

Nick texting Charlie right after seeing Ben is so sweet of him, and the “I miss you” is adorable. I love him.

Bash does such a good job making me despise Ben. Like actually I hate him. And Nick shutting down Ben and telling him not to talk about Charlie like hello supportive bf!!

Nick being worried about Charlie not wanting to be there is so sweet. and the line “I need you.” ugh my heart. Nick being vulnerable like that is so sweet and something I love. and then Nick not playing well because he’s at odds with the team and it’s causing a rift between him and his performance!! and charlie’s face, you can really tell he’s worried for him.

tara and darcy teasing elle is such a thing my old friends would do, and it’s a very accurate portrayal of teenage romances. (the way tara and darcy hold each other in this scene tho)

“Your hair is cute long. but it would look cute short too” *plays with his hair and then leaves him alone to panic.

okay can we talk about Charlie getting Nick his favorite chocolate bar for their two month anniversary and then getting all embarrassed about it and how cute it is that he remembers such a little thing. and you can tell Nick really appreciates it, the way he thanks him and does the little forehead press. (and then they just start going at it like bro give your lips a break)

Charlie reassuring Nick that he doesn’t need to tell anyone is so important, and i’m glad it’s touched on multiple times this season. because. it’s something that everyone needs to hear.

tori appears!!! her lines are always either so witty or so sweet. also charlie getting so many snacks is so like real of him bc i know what it’s like to want to make a good impression and provide for everyone. and then the cute little scene of all of them interacting and nick and charlie touching with the little sparks, getting more and more confident being themselves around each other. and issac’s little glances at everyone!!

also imogen being invited is so sweet. and the “she’s an ally” line makes me fucking laugh.

i want to talk about how well kit does at playing the nervousness of coming out to someone, even someone you trust. it’s scary, and it’s hard to say. and then charlie telling him that it’s okay. because it is.

more taoelle moments too! the garden scene is so cute. and elles hand hovering on taos face and the sparks and then it being all awkward is so ansjjsjsj.

i also wanna talk about how tara always tries to include issac like it’s incredibly just awww. it’s nice that he’s integrated into the group more because he’s always in his little book shell. like boy you are watching a movie get your head out of the books!!

imogen really tries and i love her for it. like she’s supportive in the best way she can be, even if she doesn’t know what to do. but girl you can do better than ben!!!

i love the girls supporting elle when she’s upset, the three of them have such a good dynamic. and then nick and charlie texting about telling imogen <3 you can tell how happy charlie is, and how much he cares.

love how charlie gives all his friends hugs as they leave bc that’s so in character for him honestly. and then nick turning around and kissing him in front of everyone makes me go eeeee like go Nick go!! slay king!!! i’m so proud of him. and of course Tao being Tao coughing and interrupting the moment lmao

Charlie telling his parents is such a funny scene because of the ‘hanky panky’ bits. tori is great in that scene.

“i can protect him” charlie baby that’s sweet, especially knowing what you went through. but i think you need to realize that not everything is going to go perfect 100% of the time. love the optimism tho!! it does show he really wants everything to be perfect for nick, which i think is so meaningful and deep when you take a look at charlie’s own background.

anyway, that’s all for episode one!! i’m doing these slowly, so episode two should be up in a few days!!

[themanyfeelsofaudrey]

One Chicago Rewatch Recap Part 3

Chicago PD S1 Ep1

*On to the first episode of PD and I'm already sad at how the quality of the present seasons has plummeted compared to the earlier stuff

*I mean… the cage in the basement??? This show used to be iconic

*Also I nearly got whiplash watching the first episode focusing on different characters throughout. You mean we can have MORE THAN ONE CHARACTER BE THE FOCUS OF AN EPISODE???? crazy

*No literally Intelligence really used to be doing some fuck-shit and then it would cut to Trudy, Kevin, and Kim doing something straight out of Brooklyn 99 like why did we stop the patrol storylines

*I kept seeing people talking about Kim being a flight attendant and I really thought it was just a fan theory until she started talking about it- seriously I thought it was a meme I had missed out on

*I miss Alvin :(

*I also miss sassy Jay

*"What's the deal with you and Voight? Is he your secret dad or something?" No one will ever be able to convince me that Voight being Erin's dad wasn't supposed to be a huge plot point if Sophia Bush had stayed on the show longer. (I don't want that to sound like a dig against her, I know why she didn't stay and I fully support her and hope she's doing well)

*To bring the conversation back to the shows being able to do more with larger casts than they seem to be able to do now with tiny casts- at one point in this first episode there are T E N people working in Intelligence (Kev and Kim are helping out, Jin doesn't go into the field, and Jules dies) but like??? TEN???? And somehow in the standard 42 minute run they have time to show scenes showcasing everyone's personalities, show them all interacting and being friends, show them doing the actual job, show them with their families… like??? There are 5 people in Intelligence now in the current season (no I'm not counting Torres because he's never there) and the show only manages to focus on one of them the whole episode (unless its a Kim or Adam ep and then the other is included because those two can't have any storyline that doesn't revolve around the other) I know after 10 years of this there's only so much you can do (I mean how many times can they arrest a drug dealer and have it be interesting) but damn. At least with a larger cast you could mix it up and have different pairs working together instead of the same thing every single episode.

TL;DR the earlier seasons are stronger than the current ones, but that's to be expected with shows that have gone on this long. I still very much enjoy them all and will still be watching <3

More to come, stay tuned :)

(I tried posting parts 2 and 3 together but tumblr didn't like that long of a post so I guess I'll start posting more frequent thoughts instead of big long posts after each season)

[poisonedfate]

i loveee your posts where you ramble about your thoughts on specific scenes. your takes are always so good and correct and so often you point out stuff i never picked up on or thought of in that way and it completely reframes the way i view a scene or a line

im going to greatly miss your nightly gif posting and scene rambling when you finish your rewatch

this actually made me emotional, hello? as much as i love making silly little posts and gifs, longer posts and rambles are my favourite. i think there's something so beautiful about picking things apart as a way to build them up, yknow? and i adore sharing thoughts and ideas and seeing how others view the same things, because it lets me see it through someone else's eyes!

and i'm gonna miss the rewatch as well!!! granted, i've only just started s4, so it's not going as quickly as i thought would - which is a joy. but i'll definitely still rant ranting about scenes, i'm sure there are things and parallels i've missed already or am yet to stumble upon! i also didn't get to do any of s1 and some of s2, so i might go back. + apparently i want to try my hand in amv making after the rewatch, so that's gonna be a journey and a half. and i miss writing, so i hope i'll have more time for that too. point is - hopefully i'll have something else to share, even if it's not going to 50 gif posts a day.

thank you for the kind words, it honestly means the world. can't tell you how much i appreciate you.