#almost gonna cry sad
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i will now post here like its my personal diary (ive been doing that but now i will do it with less shame)
not even 24 hours into february and ive already had 4 breakdowns over 4 different problems, loving and living <3
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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Gottem
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#this guy was a perfectly anticlimactic final boss for us lmao#We ended up sneaking up to the roof and bypassing the entire flaming fist squadron throughout wyrm's rock#rolled up with full health and resources and kicked this man right in the dingdong#now for the sad bits :')#y'all we're finally in endgame I'm crying we're almost done aaaaaaa#what's gonna HAPPEN#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#croissant adventures#tav#karlach#gortash#comics
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anyone else up thinking abt the tragicness of rose and the doctor and just doctor who in general and just ufhdhsjfhksk yk
#guys im so normal my source is just trust me#im acting like i didnt stop watching after season 3 bc i was too torn up by rose leaving#maybe ill restart instead of just reading fix it timepetals fics#we're gonna pretend im being normal instead of being sad abt a ship that died like almost 20 years ago#ugh just theyre so special to me and im always gonna have such a soft spot for nine bc he was my first doctor and just#yeah . im being insanely normal rn and def not abt to cry#dont even get me started on bad wolf bc i will go insane#timepetals#rose tyler
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I might be misremembering, but as far as I remember, Tim's mum taking him to the hospital when he was a kid is like the only time any of the main characters parents are mentioned in MH? Which like, if that is the only time any of the characters parents/family are mentioned, it just makes it feel even more tragic to me?
Like, that was presumably an upsetting/traumatic thing for Tim to go through as a kid, like even if being left there at first wasn't traumatic, everything that came after would have made it be. Like, it just makes me think that everyone else's families were "normal" or like none of them really had any reason to bring them up. Their family/home lives were perfectly mundane, so why would they think about them when they have to worry about even staying alive for another day.
It just feels like it makes Tim's whole thing with his mum even sadder, because the only reason he brings her up is to talk about something kinda unpleasant? Like, being taken to stay inpatient in a hospital for god knows how long, with no say in whether it happened or not, would be so traumatic, like abandonment, especially for a kid.
#fully could be wrong about whether any other characters parents/family are ever brought up but i dont think they are?#its 12:30am im not fact checking this im just gonna feel sad about tim#this was prompted by me seeing an edit of tim to the song Mama's Boy by Dominic Fike which almost made me cry#just tim. man#im a sucker for characters with mummy or daddy issues#but god just imagining kid tim realising his mum wasnt going to come take him home at the end of the first day. ow#anyway im going to bed#marble hornets#tim wright#mh masky#mh tim
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So I finished the Farewell Rayashki event:
Wow, what an amazing event. Probably one of my favorites in Reverse 1999. I loved watching the story of the townspeople of Rayashki fighting back against Zeno to protect their home with the help of a down-on-her-luck researcher unfold. This was probably the first event story in this game that got me feeling emotional. I think what contributed so heavily to my enjoyment and investment in the story was how we got to familiarize with the town itself, from it’s backstory, to the lives the residents that live there.
Back before 1.8 released on global, I never had much of an opinion on Vila. All I really knew about her was that she was a top tier healer mermaid who liked talking about freedom and stuff. But man, this event story really warmed me up to her as a character. She’s such a lovely teacher for the children of Rayashki, always encouraging them to be open minded and learn new things (kinda reminds me of teachers I used to have). Vila’s also such a brave leader for the people, not afraid to speak her mind on the unfair treatment Rayashki was facing at the hands of Zeno and rousing the townsfolk to band together to find new ore to support the town. I also really liked her relationship with Windsong and how she encouraged Windsong to not give up on her dreams. And that’s not to mention her backstory of being shunned and scorned by humans and rusalka alike, yet being able to find a place where everyone could live in harmony in Rayashki. Such a great character :)
Avgust was such a cinnamon roll. Just about every appearance he made on screen was a delight to watch. He’s got such an odd yet endearing way of interpreting the world around him and that made for some excellent chemistry for him and the other characters. He’s so strange yet so cute at the same time, it’s no wonder my sibling went for him on Vila’s banner (they got Vila but not Avgust btw).
Windsong was definitely the MVP. At first I assumed she’d be like Yelan from Genshin: cool, alluring, mysterious, all the typical tropes you’d expect from a woman like her in a gacha game. Turns out she’s almost nothing like I’d expect. Windsong at first was awkward, anxious, not confident that the study of ley lines will even make a comeback due to past experiences. She was on the verge of giving up, yet throughout the story she’s able to finally prove the study of ley lines can be a valid and useful field with the help and encouragement of the townspeople. Watching her become a teacher for the kids at the school was also heartwarming to watch. Also watching Windsong tell that Zeno guy where to shove it was also pretty satisfying, seeing her developing friendship with Vila and the rest of the town was sweet, watching her slowly helping the town achieve their goals and subsequently reach her own and finally coming to her own as a researcher was so cathartic aaaAAA-
Overall, this event was incredible, thanks in no small part to the excellent writing. I absolutely love this story, and I can’t wait for it to rerun :)
#reverse 1999#farewell rayashki#god this story was so good#Almost made me cry a couple of times haha#Oh yeah also the soundtrack for this event was full of bangers#Especially the main theme#I love how simple yet melancholic it feels#Fits the title extremely well#May or may not have been the reason I almost cried a couple of times but shhh don’t tell anyone#Kinda sad Rayashki’s gonna get stormed sooner or later#Because last time I checked its mostly just a normal town#Sure the main playable characters and the kids from school will be ok#Because they’re with the foundation#But what about everybody else???#man the thought of Rayashki getting erased makes me so sad :(#I don’t want them all to get thanos snapped after everything they’ve been through#Such is life 😔#Anyways enough depressing talk#go play the new event story you’re gonna love it#Thats all I got for now ok byyye
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I made a sort-of open terrarium for my mum's orchid, in a vase used at my mum's funeral, and with some gemstones/crystals I found in my mum's craft stash. I hope my mum can see it from the afterlife and likes it.
#I do still need to add some mosses#also to help with filtering water#and just in general to kind of finish it a bit more nicely#but I don't have any mosses ready but I did have everything (or almost everything) else#and the orchid was looking kinda sad just alone in that giant vase lmao#(it's a mini phalaenopsis so it actually fits in a vase - also the vase is just pretty big#because we got really big bouquets for the funeral. my mum LOVED flowers and she deserved the best)#I'll take a picture tomorrow but for now I'm just gonna go cry again for the 390743499th time today#I am having A Time. and not a good one.
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I love over-analyzing media and I have pulled magnificent theories and headcanons out of my ass on the tiniest crumbs in other fandoms before BUT
y'all might be taking this improvised comedy show that is greatly determined by dice rolls a little too seriously
#dimension 20#fhjy#the number of times I've seen a bit turned into a long sad analysis of the character's trauma ugh#if you browse the tag of this show w/o knowing what it's actually about#you're gonna think it's a lot more serious and dramatic and painful than it actually is#and that little comedy bits are actually hugely significant when they're just jokes#I've seen it with almost every character#and multiple plot points#across nearly every season#and I'm not here to be the fandom police but aren't you guys tired?#does this show not make you laugh way more than it makes you cry?#this fandom is such a bummer sometimes lol#and so often things are hugely influenced by dice rolls#and the story doesn't go the way the PCs or even the GM thinks it will#but people pick apart 'plot holes' or inconsistent characterization#the cast is making this shit up as they go y'all!#cut them some slack and also don't assume every single little thing is significant#honestly surprised I didn't see deep and tragic analyses about the vulture dimension#rambling about my life
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sitting here drinking a pineapple jarritos while singing you are my sunshine and looking at fanart/reading lovestory fanfic, could life be better than this. im so at peace rn and its great, i don't want this to end, life is being good to me at the start of this year.
#im so at peace#can't this winter break just last forever#and theres finally snow on the ground too! it's been so long since i've seen it#im going to munch on so much snow(yes i know it makes me dehydrated but like just look at it and tell me it doesn't look like a snack)#just sitting here#vibing#taking a break to right this post#making the most out of my last free day before i gotta go work on my unfinished hw i was supposed to have done before break. oop#big chillen#not art#text post#ramble#feeling good. had a good cry earlier but now im feeling so great#gonna find more lovestory fanfics after this. almost done reading my current one(im half way there oh ooh!)#i just finished my soda :[ sadness#rip pineapple soda. may you be remembered o7#i just knowticed that theres a little jug pattern on the neck of the bottle! thats so cool! its just like their logo frfr. honestly love#that. thats so funky#adds a nice gripping texture too. better for holding it precariously by the neck#enough rambleing! im going back to singing you are my sunshine now and thinking about how thespius is totally like click clacks sunshine if#he was the one humming the song. buh bye!
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「A hundred years had passed. So, so much has changed in the world, but not as much to Kazukiー
And the golden vestiges of someone still donning an all too familiar scar, smiling on the back of his mind.」
#read tags#given how kazuki is...well he is immortal#i kinda wonder what would happen a long time after the post-series#100 years immediately popped to my head because i was listening to lyrico's kiseki no hana#everyone he knew on the island would be dead#:(#idk if kouyou is still alive#i mean most likely yeah but im not sure if he has the same blessing of eternity like kazuki#would make me fucking emotional if he doesnt#of course there are the mir children/core that keeps being born again over and over but theyre never the same person. yk#what if tatsumiya ended up sinking forever for good in the future#back to kazuki he probably had stopped aging and stuff like that (but still grows. aging =/= growing guys)#so he remained pretty much similar to how he look 100 years ago. just longer hair#i like to think he decides to grow out his hair so he keeps remembering soushi#soushi is technically still there in a way because he stays in kazukis memories#as sad as it is#bro im gonna fucking cry what if kazuki gradually forgets soushi#not in a moving on way but in a its been so long that his memories of him starts to slowly fade way#in the angstier scenario he starts forgetting soushi to the point of almost forgetting him completely#and hes traveling the world all alone again#for eternity...#(this considering kouyou doesn't have the eternity blessing)#FUCKING BAWLING#soukyuu no fafner#makabe kazuki#minashiro soushi#soukazu
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just a heads up it’s probably gonna be a minute before wt8 is out
#post nyc depression is hitting a lot harder than i thought it would#tmi it’s been almost a week since i got back and i haven’t been able to make it through a few hours every day without crying#gonna go to the office today for the first time in like a week after the trip and i’m not really looking forward to that lol#i cannot do anything i’m just so sad all the time 🫥#and i’m still jetlagged which really doesn’t help#don’t think anyone really knows how much new york has meant to me for years now#anywhomst… idk bye end post ig 😭#jen rambles
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Well my grandpa has cancer. Processing it how I do all bad news; pushing it to the back of my mind and not wanting to speak of it out loud
#a lot of emotions are coming up right now#none of which I want to talk about because I don’t want to cry about it#like I told my brother and that almost set me off so we’re not speaking of it again I’m not doing that#I can post about it on here because none of you know me irl so like…it doesn’t make it feel real#but I can’t speak to anyone I know about it cuz it’s just gonna make me sad#and I don’t want to be sad#so I will make this post and not speak of it again because that is how I cope
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When your favourite song was playing in a traumatic moment of your life:
#When it rains I think of her...#Something good did happen#After something worse...#But🤷♀️#I feel so much guilt every time this song plays#I almost always cry#But this song was the reason i was okay#Because “I just know that something good is gonna happen”#Kate Bush#Cloudbusting#Vent?#Ramble#Not my usual post I just felt sad :')#Tumblr#Reblog#Reblogs#Reblog please#This is a safe space tho if u need to vent
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Hope yall are ready for another 8+k one-shot on August 14th cuz I once again can't figure out how to format this thing into separate chapters in a way I like!
#also my friend from across the country is coming down that sane day and i dont wanna deal with posting updates while theyre here#i wanna hang out with them!#your only getting a date cuz the one shot is gonna be my sort of anniversary fic this year#last year it was the steel chair fic#this year it is NOT crack#like not like sad and it does have a happy ending but also i did cry a little writing one part of it#still gotta finish it tho#its almost done dw#gotta do one more 'transitional' scene as i like to call them#and the actual battle which if you read end of the line will take me forever and will be like pulling teeth#but i will write it!#it should hopefully be easier than that battle scene due to fewer moving parts#thats all the hints youre getting for the fic#super excited to post it tho#enjoy my midnight ramblings
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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genuinely so upset about not being able to scream to my mom about my cardigan :')
#genuinely. not happy.#it sucks guys!!!! it sucks sooo much you don't get it!!!!!!!!#this is the first time I've ever been making something and not been able to go to my mom about it and thats so#its just#im sad#especially bc like. i could be asking her help. for an idea. for a stitch. when i mess up. and i cant.#man.#and i can't share my joy either!!!!#I'm almost done!!!!! and i can't send her photos!!!!!! i won't be able to send her finished photos either!!!!!!!!!#I'm gonna cry about this while i work on the border some more i just wanted to yell for a moment <3#but bc its trans colored and she KNOWS the tran flag and im not out to her and she'll understand what it means and im!!!!!!!#maybe i do it anyway and thats how i come out LMAO im kidding thats terrifying. its all terrifying tho so yolo amirite#tell her im making it for my friend abram :')))#which very possibly ALSO would be seen right thriving bc i HAVE talked to get about aftg fjsjfjsjjsjf#but that situation gives huge 'elephant in the room' by confetti vibes#anyway#back to crocheting i just got really hit with the sad#shh ac
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