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I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

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Look I have zero excuses for this, but the idea popped into my head and now it's in your head, sorry

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“some of you are miserable because you’re mean” post except its “some of you are miserable because you only look at and talk about stuff you dislike”

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Mourning Doves are here year-round and in large numbers and can sometimes be overwhelming with their feeder dominance, but they make up for that with their spirit and their funny portraits. They seem like a happy bird, if there ever was one. Which is funny, given their name. This is your happiness talisman for the new week. May good things happen ❤️

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i asked a news outlet about a specific hour of footage from 1997. normally they don't respond or they say that there's nothing left from that time period. well, turns out they do have it. they got back to me yesterday and said it can be mine for the small fee of:

“$4,100 for up to 30 seconds and $5,100 for 31-60 seconds. Each additional second is $85.”

😂 yeah fucking right. i'm not even going to do the math on that. let's all hope it pops up one day for free on youtube.

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university is like a video game. you can pick up sidequests. Youre gonna neglect the main storyline. youre gonna end up in a guild of sorts. i just looted a bush on campus and found a sticker

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can we replace "money" with a man we keep alive forever so we can hurt him

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you know what’s a good feeling? a real good feeling?

when sunbeams do this.

that is all.

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tumblr is a tardigrade

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tips and tricks to become popular:

take interest in the lives of others

be humble and admit when you are wrong

be encouraging in your criticism

secrete silk that can be used to manufacture clothing and textiles

eat aphids. you will be looked on fondly for removing this common garden pest

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At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

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At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

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I poked at the fic and couldn't quite make it work, but I had the idea to do a story where Daniel is invited to Christmas by one of his estranged daughters for the first time in years, but when he gets there, she's like, "my boyfriend really encouraged me to reach back out," and Daniel turns and sees the boyfriend sitting on the couch by the tree, and it is. fully Armand. making a psychological power play as only he can.

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If someone told me that me wanting to cure my terminal disease was "wanting to get rid of weaknesses" instead of it being the "wanting to save myself from dying due to the illness" that it actually is I would simply stab them

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okay okay i can close some tabs i don't need this google image search of "pear trees"....well you never know actually