#all you need is greed
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ax trax of the week
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shakin’ stevens - all you need is greed
well this was an unexpected new release, and a pleasurable one.
-ax
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my contribution to the fmab fandom, slowly but surely (click for better quality)
#you can make the argument that ling yao is forced to dilly dally but i think its a choice on his part#he didnt have to pretend to be a silly lil guy he just really wanted to#but yeah do not underestimate him he is always locked in. the dilly dally is usually a farce#greed however wants so badly to be locked in but he is forced to dilly dally for months on a camping trip#greed the avaricious#<hes born to lock in forced to lock in but went and dilly dally-ed until canon rolled around#yes i view all of them as individual characters. id even say greedling (when the lines blur n you cant tell) is its own fourth character#greedling#ling yao#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#born to dilly dally#forced to lock in#yes i know these are usually done with one image but im indecisive and couldnt pick T^T#also i have a million screenshots of them and i need to use them or it was all for naught#moss' madness
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Just some thoughts about Belos/ Philip Wittebane from TOH (ramble)
For all of his shortcomings and aborent qualities he has one single thing that makes him stand out among a cast of characters with plenty of positive and lovable personality traits. He's the most hopeful character in the show. Lemme explain:
When he really shouldn't be. Sure it's part of his delusion but at the end of the day he doesn't have any good reason to do anything he does in the story and deep down, he knows that. Ultimately he does everything he does to justify the death of his brother. But that's clearly not his true wish. All he want is his brother back, take back what he did and make that his brother never left. Return to a version of reality that can never be obtained. His brother will never return and he knows it. Considering he killed every grimwalker copy, the 20 or so he made of Caleb. Despite being a smart man, he refuses to grow up and accept change (or death) as we see in Hollow Mind. For 400 years. This child like naivity translates into a neverdying hope that finishing his plan will change anything, fix anything. It's not even about personal revenge as much as it is an escape from reality. He could have wiped out Caleb's decendants anytime in the 50 years he had total power in the empire or even way before that. But he didn't. Killing the Grimwalkers also seemed to upset him but he deems it a necessary step to fix what went wrong all that time ago. But the Grimwalkers never are like his brother, they only vaguely resemble him. For him it's not killing his brother again and again (ignoring he's killing actual individuals), it's rebuilding him stone by stone. It's all for nothing. It serves no purpose and is meaningless. And I think he knows. But he refuses to accept it, no he is completly unable to accept it. Much like a child who can't accept that a specific obscure and crazy dream of his will never come true. This dedication to that meaningless cause is even more visible once the Collector pretty much oneshots him at the end of season 2. He's reduced to a puddle, a soul without a body and he's most likely in a perpetual state of pain and confusion, now returned to the human realm that is nothing alike to what he left behind. Which he can't even interact with properly like he wished to do. Giving up, just dying would be easy and probably is an attractive alternative to his constant state of agony. Yet he clings onto the last bit of life remaining. Despite his carefully made masterplan he took decades if not centuries to realize failed horribly. Knowing he will have to face the seemingly all powerful Collector eventually who squashed him like a bug. He stays alive against impossible odds to "right his wrongs". For the slightest chance to see the reality he gaslit himself into believing was possible. A reality where his borther could have stayed, for a reality where his actions were justified, a reality where he didn't waste the entirety of his extended life, a reality where he's the hero, not the villian. He clings onto hope like a scared, hurt beast. Hope is powerful and scary. It can make a normal man go through hell and become what he swore to destroy. Hope as much as it can build a new future can also raze it to the ground. The sweet and horrific duality of hope.
#belos#emperor belos#philip wittebane#toh#the owl house#spoilers#insane ramble#my other favourite character ghetsis also has motives akin to this and#yeah it drives me insane#ambition hope greed#its all so interesting to me i need to dissect it#ramble do not take too seriously unless you agree then please take this seriously lol
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the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.
[they are referring to this post]
What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."
I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.
And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.
"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.
Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.
This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."
So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.
And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.
How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??
Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.
I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?
I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?
Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?
So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?
Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.
Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.
#original#punk#hopepunk#cripplepunk#i swear to god#reading comprehension website#how dare you say we piss on the poor#jfc 'what you're saying is we should do nothing' - what I'm saying is YOU are doing nothing by enforcing this boundary#you have to give people more credit than this. i believe you want a better world too. and it would be cool if you used your energy to#instead ask 'how do i fight for the people in my community to be clothed and have the time and income to shop ethically?'#or 'how do i support activism that pushes for regulation that could control these companies?'#monitoring how poor people spend money is a supremely Republican thing to do. as is demanding clear moral purity from every scenario.#you want a better world too. you want to demand your peers do better. - fine. good.#but you need to be asking if you have remembered and included everyone's needs when making statements like this.#capitalism is all for forgetting about poor and disabled people and refusing to believe their limits.#shame is a necessary weapon in fighting greed but it IS a weapon. be so careful where you point that shit. enough shame can kill a person#and a lot of us are already defending from it from all sides.#shaming a person who is already at their limit for not doing more is an act of cruelty. think very carefully about what that means please.#i literally don't even know what SHEIN is lol i just know classism when i see it#but I've had friends whose clothes were visibly falling apart with no income and so much so shame so deep in their hearts they were dying#and if they had seen that post it would have made them even sicker and gotten them no closer to the dignity of being properly clothed#shame is a weapon and /you need to be careful!!!!/
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The core of Fullmetal Alchemist: All is one and Dwarf in the flask
Dwarf in a bottle is in my top 5 favorite FMA characters. No, not Father, that emotionless bland white bread empty husk, Dwarf, the whole. The sort of ball of void, the existential anomaly, so inhumanely human full with sins and individuality.
Fullmetal Alchemist is about willpower. About determination, about pursuing your goals without relenting. It is also about humility and about knowledge.
That is reflected in both the protagonist and the villain, though it is a theme common in most characters. Both Edward and Dwarf in a bottle pursue their goals with great determination and will. Then, what is good with the manner of one and wrong with the other’s?
I believe a lot of it is about the very concept Dwarf symbolizes. Dwarf in the flask is artificiality.
An alchemy-made life. An artificial family. An artificial pursuit of knowledge and power, without caring about the journey of self-betterment that comes along with it, without caring to understand alchemy and its place in the world. Not only an artifical physical being, but also artificial emotionally; ripping apart his feelings and personality traits deemed negative to make himself into a “superior” being.
I think it’s also worth noting that yes, purging sins out of himself makes him lose those traits, even feelings. Then, if not greed, if not it all, what is pushing Father to pursue power? Greed said it himself: greed isn’t inherently bad, it’s the act of wanting. Father isn’t spiraling into a mad passion for alchemy, a pursuit of knowledge for innovation, or anything, he pursued his plan because he went through the motions, simply. As his feelings left him, all that stayed was the conviction without reasoning that since it was his plan before, he should see it to the end. Or perhaps it’s the course of action he logically came to. Perhaps alchemical enlightenment was deemed the obvious ultimate goal to have, without being interested in why it is or why it should be. Regardless, he lacks the passion and emotional intelligence to actually see the value in what he is doing, in alchemy, and ultimately that is what is punished.
I want to do a full dissection of the whole homunculus family, but I’m going to touch on some aspects of it here because it’s such an interesting topic to me. Disregarding Lust’s claim that homunculi are all individuals with a full range of emotions for a moment, I want to analyze what their traits mean in the angle that they fundamentally formed a whole all together as Father, or Dwarf in the flask. The homunculus that is shown to be the most attached to his family members is Gluttony. The homunculus that is shown to be the most attached to relationships, in general, is Greed. Greed and Gluttony are then the homunculi, the traits, that care about people the most. And that makes sense, no? You don’t want to lose things you care about, you want to bathe in their love and their presence, and you want to keep having them for as long as you want, greed and gluttony aren’t unsimilar. Greed is interested in friendship and having companions, in possessing people’s hearts and loyalties, in making new connections and bonding with new faces. Gluttony is more interested in getting more of what he already has, more love in that way he already likes by the person he already loves, like wanting more of the familiar taste of its favorite meal. Other similar traits are pride and envy, the traits that affect your self-image. The feeling that you are remarkable and great and the feeling of wanting what others have or are, valuing yourself vs comparing yourself to others. By detaching parts of a whole, things get lost; Pride feels wholly superior but is ready to do anything to preserve himself including lowering himself to inferior beings going against his own code, while Envy only covers up his self-hatred and jealousy but would rather end himself before accepting to sully himself with the compassion of someone he looks down upon. Pride makes one value self-preservation, while envy is self-destructive by nature, perhaps. It is interesting that both feel prideful, yet Pride doesn’t reflect the fact that as part of a whole it also felt shame and low self-esteem, otherized, and Envy doesn’t reflect that Dwarf actually feels pride over traits they possess, as well. The truth is that these things coexisted in the one being that was Dwarf. Fragmented as they are, they only tell an uncomplete and incoherent story, like a puzzle. It’s ironic that maybe together, all these sins balance each other out to become healthier, less dysfunctional. Like a family, they can offer counterbalance to a trait when it becomes too central to the individual, offer support through their grounding presence. Someone slothful may feel unmotivated without greed to give them goals, pride without envy will make you stop striving to better yourself and envy without pride will give you self-loathing.
An analysis of Dwarf isn’t complicated to do: it was a being brought about by scholars and complex alchemy, enslaved, and it wished to get the power to free itself and become an individual equal/superior to everyone else. Unable to become physically and fundamentally human, he attempted to become a proxy, close enough to it; making a family, gaining a human form, etc. It ultimately wished to pursue superiority through alchemical power and knowledge when he found the result lacking, when it still didn’t feel human, couldn’t connect with others, still felt fundamentally different, like his place in the universe was somewhere else, like striving for that higher calling would solve it. Blinded by lust to find belonging, wether it be in a place or in a role, it pushed itself to extremes of alchemy in the hope it will all make sense once he gets there. Ultimately futile, as he will end up feeling betrayed and abandoned by Truth itself, not able to rise up to its own expectations once more: because there’s no magic able to make one feel whole. He seeked to sculpt himself into a perfect being, one that could be anything and do anything, one that couldn’t be reproached, if not by humans, then the world itself would confirm and showcase his objective superiority for all to see.
Much like with Shou Tucker, this pursuit for knowledge and power is all for external factors, there is no inner fuel for it besides pride, shame, desperate want that was displaced onto alchemy instead of the self-introspection that alchemy promotes and necessitates. Dwarf ended up missing what was right under his nose, and subsequently failed the test of Truth and lost everything. What he was working towards ultimately meant nothing, not to anyone and not even to himself.
Edward was able to face Truth right because he took the time to understand, learned to not abuse it, reflected on what it all meant, on the place of things in the universe. That is terrifying for Dwarf, who is terrified he may simply have no place in it, but it is nonetheless essential. The other homunculi are proof enough: Greed had friends, was accepted in the friend group of our heroes as a trustworthy and dependable person, Ling would have preferred him to stay with him forever instead of leaving. Selim gets a second chance at life with someone who has loved him with all her heart… Which is the most confusing part of FMA I have no idea how he didn’t die ngl but I’m glad for the precious lil guy~ Even Lust and Gluttony found companionship and care in being together.
Dwarf has always had a place. He simply refused to philosophizes, and alchemists are ultimately philosophers. Not thinking power through, not analyzing it, is what leads to corrupt military states. Dwarf wanted to be recognized and accepted by god and the world itself, by showing himself worthy of it and demanding it, but he was the one who rejected the nature of the world first:
One is all, all is one.
He is the very embodiment of refusing that. Dwarf always had a place in the world, artificial anomaly as he was. Perhaps Dwarf wasn’t meant to be part of this all or this one initially, not created by the world, but. Dwarf seeked to become both all and none at once. He was born artificial, but never cared to learn the rules of nature and accept the limits of the world, seeking to destroy and warp them; he was the one that desired to make himself even more distinct from the world and label himself as a perfect, artificial being. Rejecting individuality to become some empty looking glass was the mistake Edward Elric didn’t make, growing to find the value in every type of life and finding the strength to keep going through every horror of the world. Dwarf’s folly was thinking that he was separate from the rest of existence.
The philosophical dimension to the value of gold or philosopher’s stones are the important part of alchemy, power isn’t what you achieve enlightenment through. May your pursuit of knowledge be wise and your resolve aim true.
–+–+–+–+–+–+–
I recommend this analysis by another tumblr user as complementary reading!! It goes over way more than I did and encompasses more of fma than this post, I just wanted to focus on a fraction of the themes and narrative that I found summed up the story’s key points well… Idk idk I’m a humble Dwarf enjoyer I don’t want to come across as pretentious 🙇 I can only hope this was a nice read. If you don’t remember the ending of the manga/brotherhood well I imagine this being very confusing, I should do something about that
#fullmetal alchemist#fmab#i might spice this post with screenshots and pics one day#dwarf in the flask#father fma#edward elric#Analysis#Homunculi fma#Envy fma#Pride fma#gluttony fma#greed fma#The lesson of Pride & Envy: If you only have Pride you’ll only remember that you love yourself#But you need Envy too to remind you that you… Hate others and yourself…?#Jkjk envy in a way represents humility when in a not so extreme condensed form but I found that funny#Spoilers#fma spoilers#It isn’t to say that Dwarf’s fragmenting is all bad though like we see with Greed.#As much as traits may balance each other out and as much as the homunculi clashed together sometimes in ways that impeded their progress#we saw how unhealthy of an individual dwarf in the flask already was before splitting itself.#With Greed we see that a tiny part of this all that’s itself part of a bigger all aka the world#can still be part of it and do the bettering and thinking needed to become someone with values#character analysis#Me watching Dwarf absorb god and tearing up bc it’s so tragic that he was fueled by a desperate want to belong and prove himself and#Bitterness and a sense of superiority#Tfw u a lil science experiment made by scholars who thinks that it is through research and pursuit of scientific and academic knowledge onl#That u can achieve anything completely missing the emotional or ethical dimension… Or like u know. Just like. Wondering if it’ll make u#Actually happy#What if trying to bring himself closer to smth like a human was just bc all the alchemical research and results are made by humans so he#Thinks it’ll up his chance bc the method was already tailored and scientific method and whatnot…
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GreedxLing Week Day 1: Love Language
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Returning to Xing wasn't what Ling had expected when he'd left home all those months ago. So much had changed, it was hard to believe it had been less than a year since the first time he'd trekked through the desert with Lan Fan and Fu in tow, planning out his first steps for finding the philosopher’s stone and considering the best way to trick the emperor into believing he held the key to immortality for long enough for Ling to maneuver himself into power. Fu had advised him not to get too far ahead of himself, but Ling had refused to even entertain the notion that he might return empty handed. His clan was counting on him. Failure wasn't an option.
Now they were making the return trip with the Chang Clan heiress and a homunculus who until very recently had been coinhabiting Ling’s body.
Lan Fan had lost her arm, and as guilty as Ling felt for dragging her into the fight that had claimed it, she wouldn’t let him apologize. She insisted it was her choice, and one she’d gladly make again, and he knew her well enough to recognize that if he kept feeling sorry for her she…probably wouldn’t actually punch him in the face–because that would be improper and against her vow to protect him–but she would be seriously tempted to do so. He didn’t mention it again.
And they were returning without Fu.
They were bringing him home, of course they were. They could hardly do otherwise. But it was only his remains making the journey in the urn Lan Fan insisted on carrying herself, carefully checking and repacking it every time they stopped to rest. The old man himself would never again walk at Ling’s shoulder and offer advice that Ling was often too stubborn and foolish to take.
Ling wished they could have stayed in Amestris a bit longer. Just to take some time to heal and rest, to adjust to everything. But the emperor’s health wouldn’t hold forever, and if one of his siblings ascended to the throne before Ling’s return then everything would be for nothing. And Lan Fan’s new automail made it crucial to get across the desert before the summer heat could settle in and threaten to burn her.
Most importantly, Fu needed to be laid to rest properly, with full rites instead of the stopgap cremation ritual that Lan Fan had been taught as a child–because the life of a royal bodyguard was dangerous and often took one far from home to die. To truly let his spirit rest, Fu needed a real funeral. Getting that done as soon as possible was the least Ling owed to the man who had been like family to him, closer and more beloved than most of his blood relatives.
If Ling thought about that for too long he’d break down, and then Lan Fan would feel obligated to try and comfort him even though she’d lost so much more than he had. He couldn’t do that to her. He had to stay strong.
So he focused on easier things, like getting to know Mei Chang, and adjusting to Greed having a separate body.
The fact that bonding with the little sister he’d been raised to regard as an annoying obstacle at best, and a credible threat to his life at worst, qualified as “easier” was a testament to how out of control his life had gotten.
The fact that he felt the need to adjust to not sharing his body with the personification of a deadly sin was probably evidence that he’d gone completely insane.
He didn’t really know how to interact with either of them.
Mei didn’t seem to know how to interact with him either. She switched between regarding him with a suspicion that bordered on outright hostility, as she’d no doubt been taught to act around any competing heir, and a starry eyed admiration that came with repeated thanks for promising to protect her clan and offers to help him with anything he needed that frankly made Ling more uncomfortable than when she looked like she wanted to stab him. He didn’t know how to convince her that his commitment to bringing together all the clans was genuine and not dependent on her sucking up to him.
Also her tiny panda had bitten him like five times, and he didn’t heal as quickly as he used to.
And Greed. Greed was the same as he’d always been, probably, but Ling wasn’t used to observing him from the outside. He knew what the homunculus was thinking and feeling in any situation still, could make his stupid sarcastic jokes in unison with him most of the time, but that was just the knowledge of familiarity. He couldn’t hear the outline of Greed’s thoughts the way he used to, or feel the echoes of his emotions. And Ling was starting to realize that for as good as they’d gotten at communicating, their mental conversations maybe hadn’t been much like talking, because he found it difficult to put anything he wanted to say to Greed into words.
He wanted to say so much to Greed. He wanted to reassure him that they could still rule Xing together even if they were separate people now. Wanted to ask if Greed still wanted that, or if he’d rather find something of his own, even if Ling was scared of the answer to that question. He wanted to scream at Greed for being an idiot and trying to sacrifice himself, for lying to him, for almost leaving him behind. He wanted to beg Greed to never do that again, because Ling needed him, and missed him even when he was still here, and he didn’t know how he’d ever recover if Greed left him entirely.
Ling wanted to tell Greed he loved him, and that he thought Greed loved him too, thought he had felt it when Greed shoved Ling away to protect him at the cost of his own life.
But now that Greed was in his own body, looking like his old self and also an entirely new person to Ling, it was hard to be confident that he still felt the same, or even that he’d ever felt that way at all. Maybe Ling had been projecting, the confusion and emotion of that moment overwhelming him and making him feel what he wanted to feel from Greed.
Certainly Greed hadn’t said anything to indicate he felt that way toward Ling since Lan Fan had flung the philosopher’s stone she’d been carrying into the homunculus’s dissipating form and–in an alchemic reaction that Ed said “made no sense” and “gave him a headache”–Greed’s body from before he’d been merged with Ling reformed around him.
Greed had let Ling scream at him for lying, and being a self sacrificing idiot, and scaring him, had let shove him and also let Ling cling to him and tell him to never do anything like that again.
He’d apologized for hurting Ling, but notably didn’t say he was sorry for what he’d done or promise not to do it again. Ling had been a little tempted to stab him then, but he wasn’t sure how many times the incomplete philosopher’s stone inside him could heal him back up. He didn’t want to risk losing him again. (And, Greed had pointed out later, they’d need to “do the hammer trick” at least once to prove to the emperor that Greed was immortal. Ling had vague, second hand memories of “the hammer trick,” and he was sure they could come up with something a little less traumatizing.)
But other than the apology, Greed hadn’t really talked much to Ling after coming back to life. He didn’t even say that he planned to come back with them, just fell in step beside Ling as they headed out and asked how long it would take to get to Xing.
So Ling couldn’t know if Greed felt the way he did, and the thought of being wrong, of ruining the relationship they did have, kept him from asking. Every big, important thing Ling wanted to say to Greed got caught in his throat.
Greed didn’t say anything either. Sometimes it seemed like he was about to. Ling knew him well enough to tell when he was working up to being honest in a way that wasn’t just not telling a lie, a way that was hard for him, but he never followed through.
But even though they were completely failing to talk to each other, even though the silence was awkward and painful at times when Ling thought about how easily they’d talked and joked before, he couldn’t bring himself to leave Greed’s side for long. They were rarely out of arm’s reach of each other. Most often they stayed so close that Ling thought if it was anyone else he’d be freaked out by the invasion of his personal space.
It never felt like an invasion when it was Greed literally breathing down Ling’s neck, walking so close to each other it was frankly a miracle they didn’t trip over each other’s feet, sitting practically in each other’s laps by the campfire when the chill of the desert night set in. They’d given up the pretense of settling into separate bedrolls after the second time they’d woken up wrapped around each other in the sand between two unused piles of blankets.
But for all that easy closeness, they still barely talked.
Ling couldn’t bring himself to talk to Greed, and he didn’t know how to talk to Mei, and Lan Fan never liked to talk about things before she’d had a chance to process them on her own, so Ling hardly dared to interrupt her grief with conversation. It was shaping up to be the most awkwardly silent trip in history.
Except actually Greed and Mei seemed to have no trouble talking to each other. Half the time the homunculus wasn’t right beside Ling it was because he’d walked off to talk to his little sister. She wasn’t nearly as standoffish with Greed, and he apparently had plenty to say to her. They got along great, other than the first time they’d talked, when Mei had squealed “Mister Greed, that’s so—” and Ling had never found out what that was so because Greed had clapped a hand over the girl’s mouth and hissed something at her, ignoring Xiao-Mei biting his hand in retaliation.
Since then they had quiet conversations that cut off when Ling approached basically every day, and any time Ling asked Greed what they were talking about he just said “don’t worry about it,” or sometimes “wouldn’t you like to know,” which was the type of nonanswer he only gave when he wanted to keep something to himself without technically lying.
Ling watched the two of them conspiring or plotting or whatever it was they were doing, and had to firmly remind himself that he was not jealous of a thirteen-year-old who’d been forced to travel to a foreign country alone in a desperate bid to save the clan she was too young to bear responsibility for.
No matter how easily she got to talk to Greed.
Other than talking to Mei, the only times Greed left Ling’s side was when he’d seen something on the ground he wanted to investigate.
That at least was familiar. Ling remembered spending the winter trekking through Amestris, and how often Greed wandered off the trail to pick up a shiny rock or a weird shaped stick or a bottle cap with an interesting logo to shove in their pocket. Ed griped at him constantly for wasting time picking up trash, but that had never stopped Greed.
What was weird now was that Greed always looked at whatever he picked up critically instead of pocketing it and rejoining the group immediately. He twisted the objects this way and that, examined them in the light, and most of the time he dropped them again as if he’d found them lacking.
Maybe admitting to himself that what he really wanted was people to care for had eased his compulsion to collect whatever caught his eye.
(Maybe having Ling around was enough, even if it wasn’t the same as it had been. Maybe he was satisfied to have a friend, and Ling could be satisfied with that too, even if neither of them ever made a move to make it something more. Or maybe that was wishful thinking.)
The first time Greed found something that met his new standards, it was nearing sunset on their first day in the desert between Amestris and Xing. Greed split off from the group and came back with a rock worn smooth by the blowing sands. The sunlight shone on the rock’s surface, and revealed little clusters of sparkles when Greed twisted it at the right angle. In different lighting it would probably look like an unremarkable gray lump, but it was beautiful in the moment. Ling understood why Greed decided to pick it up.
He didn’t understand why, instead of shoving it in his own pocket as usual, Greed held it out for Ling.
“Here,” he said, looking at Ling expectantly. “Take it.”
“Um, okay?”
Ling held out his hand and Greed tipped the rock into it. It was smooth as marble, and warm from lying in the sun. It fit perfectly in Ling’s palm. He absently ran his thumb over the surface as he looked back at Greed.
Greed had a concerningly smug look on his face.
Suddenly suspicious, Ling asked, “Are you trying to make me carry your stuff so you can pick up even more rocks?”
The smug smile disappeared from Greed’s face.
“No, It’s–ugh nevermind!”
Ling watched, bemused, as Greed stomped away, as much as anyone could stomp over shifting sand, to talk to Mei. The girl patted him comfortingly on the arm and shot Ling a dirty look that he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve.
Ling tucked the rock carefully into his pocket for safekeeping, and then hurried to catch up with Lan Fan and offer to help her find a good campsite.
A few days later, as they were approaching an oasis midway between the Amestran border and the ruins of Xerxes, Greed once again found something he deemed worthy of hanging on to.
The oasis was one of the better documented sources of water on the journey through the desert and trade caravans came through the area regularly. They’d been seeing little bits and bobs that must have fallen off a wagon throughout the day. Greed had stopped to investigate most of it, but only found one thing he actually liked.
Once again, Greed carried his find over to Ling, this time keeping whatever it was closed in his fist as he offered it.
“Here. I want you to keep this. Not carry it for me.”
“...Right.” Ling decided not to comment on Greed’s weird behavior, instead just holding out his hand under Greed’s
A ring dropped into Ling’s palm, a black band set with a purple gemstone almost the exact color of Greed’s eyes.
The stone was fake, Ling could tell right away. He didn’t know if Greed couldn’t tell or just didn’t care. For all his talk about appreciating the finer things, Greed didn’t actually put much stock into how expensive or high quality anything was, perfectly content with costume jewelry as long as it was suitably flashy.
This ring actually wasn’t nearly as gaudy as Greed’s tastes normally ran. It black band was simple, etched with a subtle geometric pattern that was only visible up close. The single stone was large, but not ridiculously so, not something that was deliberately ostentatious.
Ling actually liked it, and maybe it was unbecoming of a future Emperor of Xing, but Ling found he didn’t care much more than Greed did about having only expensive belongings just to prove he could afford them.
Greed shifted anxiously, and Ling realized he’d been silently staring at the ring for long enough for it to get uncomfortable.
“Thank yo–”
“We must hurry, my lord.” Lan Fan called, interrupting Ling’s thanks. “We need to reach the oasis before sundown if we hope to replenish our supplies tonight and get an early start tomorrow.”
Ling knew most people would think she sounded perfectly respectful, as befitted a bodyguard speaking to her master. But he also knew her well enough to hear how annoyed she was getting with the hold up.
“Coming Lan Fan!” he called. Turning to Greed he added, “We’d better go before she decides to stab you.”
Greed looked a little disappointed, but nodded, easily matching Ling’s pace as they began to walk again.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t really want to fight her.”
“Because you don’t fight women?” Ling asked.
Greed hummed in agreement and Ling rolled his eyes.
“That’s such an old fashioned attitude. She could beat you easily, especially if you do that thing where you refuse to use your full shield until you’re already losing.”
Greed looked at Ling like he was stupid.
“Of course she could. She’s insane. I guess you never met my ‘sister’ before she bit the dust, but she was fucking terrifying. And Martel was–” Greed cut himself off, looked away for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing. “Ed’s teacher took out my whole crew single handedly once. That Winry girl’s not even a fighter and she tossed us and Darius and Heinkel and those two Briggs guys out of her room like it was nothing. Not to mention your little sister being–”
“Wait,” Ling interrupted Greed’s list. “Are you saying you’re ‘not the kind of guy who fights women’ because you think all women can kick your ass?”
“I don’t think all women can kick my ass,” Greed argued. “I just think women who like to fight are more likely to kick my ass than men, which is not fun for me, and women who don’t fight probably have no idea how to because of stupid human gender rolls, so I’d feel shitty for beating them up. Also the one time I tried to fight Lust she backed me into a corner and slashed my arms off like ten times in a row while saying I should never hit a lady, so. Don’t really want to do that again.”
Ling burst out laughing as they hurried to catch up with Lan Fan, and ignored Greed’s protests about his reasoning making perfect sense.
He slipped the ring onto his finger as they walked.
He didn’t miss Greed’s pleased smile.
They reached Xerxes before midday, and decided to rest there and head out again the next morning.
Greed announced that he was going to take a look around the place. When Ling stood to go with him he added that he wanted to go alone.
Ling tried to hide his hurt and disappointment at that. He had thought they’d been getting a little more comfortable around each other the last few days.
He must not have succeeded, because Greed suddenly looked panicked and added, “I mean alone for now! We can go together later, that would be cool. But you should…rest! Because you need more of that than me. And you should let me find places that are safe to explore first since you’re all human now and…squishy.” He winced at his own word choice. “Okay, see you later, bye!”
Greed all but fled from where they’d settled in the shade of a ruined building, and Ling watched him go.
Greed was being very weird since the Promised Day. Well, he was always weird, but now it was obvious even to Ling, who’d mostly gotten used to his baseline bizarre behavior.
Greed almost never said what he meant, for all that he didn’t lie, but he was normally way smoother at talking his way around things. Smooth enough that he could even fool himself into believing his bullshit.
And Ling couldn’t figure out why Greed kept giving him stuff. Sure, his whole “I want everything” routine was just a cover for the fact that he couldn’t even admit to himself that he just wanted friends. Ling was able to tell that almost right away, once they joined up with Ed and he let himself think of Greed as something other than an enemy he had to resist.
But he’d never picked up on any real inclination to give things away, no matter how much he cared about the people around him more than he’d ever let on. He also liked having stuff. And yet he hadn’t kept any of the things he’d picked up on their journey.
Ling could hear Greed make his way through the ruined city streets. He was not gifted in stealth, much to the dismay of their traveling companions when they’d been trying to evade the Amestran military over the long months of winter.
It sounded like he was digging through the rubble and flipping stones too big for a human hands to easily move. Ling wondered what he hoped to find. The place had been abandoned for generations. Then again, most people left it alone rather than ransacking it, out of respect for the terrible tragedy that had happened here, so maybe there was something worth finding.
Ling was considering whether he should tell Greed to stop rifling through the remains of a dead civilization when Greed made a triumphant noise and the sounds of digging through rubble stopped, replaced by the sounds of sprinting back towards the rest of them.
Greed audibly stopped running just around the corner of their makeshift shelter and then strolled casually into sight. Ling very kindly refrained from laughing at the terrible attempt at acting like he hadn’t been rushing back. Mei had to turn away and disguise her giggles as a cough, and Lan Fan didn’t bother to hide her judgemental stare.
Greed looked a little excited and a little nervous as he walked over to Ling, though Ling wasn’t sure if someone who hadn’t spent a few months inside Greed’s head would be able to see that through the false air of confidence he’d put on. He was holding something behind his back.
Greed stopped directly in front of Ling and said, “I found this for you,” before all but shoving the hidden object into Ling’s hands.
It was a dagger in a sheath that had maybe once been brightly painted but had long since faded to the barest hints of a pattern. The hilt and cross guards formed elegant curves, and there was a blue jewel inset in the pommel. Ling drew the blade, and though it had long lost its edge, it must have been well made and also incredibly sheltered from the elements wherever Greed had dug it out from, because it was in remarkable condition for how old it must have been. It would probably only need a little bit of maintenance to be usable.
It was a beautiful weapon, but also a practical one, lacking in the tacky extra spikes and jagged edges that Ed liked to give things, and that Greed had often praised as looking “pretty sweet.” It was obvious that Greed had picked it with Ling’s tastes in mind.
“Thank you,” Ling breathed. “It’s perfect. I love it.”
He looked up from the blade to find Greed grinning at him, somewhere between elated and self satisfied.
“I don’t have anything for you,” Ling added, suddenly feeling guilty for taking so many gifts from Greed without offering something in return. “I could go find–”
“You don’t have to,” Greed interrupted, still smiling. “I mean, you can if you want. You know I’ll never say no to a present. But you don’t have to. I didn’t give it to you so you’d give me something.”
“Why did you, then?” Ling asked.
The smile slipped off of Greed’s face, but before Ling could freak out about making him sad, Lan Fan and Mei both groaned in frustration, in a display of synchronicity that Ling didn’t think boded well for his future well being.
“Ling Yao, you are so stupid!” Mei exclaimed. She sounded less hostile than he might have expected with that statement. Her tone almost reminded him of when Al would sometimes despair over what an idiot his big brother was.
“He’s not the only problem,” Lan Fan argued. “Greed, you need to stop acting like a child and use your words.”
Ling was officially lost. He looked between his three companions in hopes of finding a clue to what was happening, and was completely disappointed in that hope.
“Lan Fan, do you know what’s going on?” Ling asked.
“Of course I do!” she snapped before taking a deliberate breath and continuing in something closer to her normal calm and respectful way of speaking to him. Ling could still clearly hear her holding herself back from calling him an idiot.
“Ling, you are my prince, my lord, my future emperor. I would follow you anywhere, I would kill and die for you, and I know you will be a good king to our people. But I cannot deal with this foolishness another second. It was a nice distraction at first, but it’s gone on for far too long.”
She turned away from him to speak to Mei. “I'm going for a walk. Would you like to join me, Princess?”
“Yes, actually,” Mei chirped, hopping to her feet. “ I wanted to take a look around and see if I could find any surviving records of the types of alchemy that were studied here. Hopefully something that doesn’t involve human sacrifice for a change.”
“Wait,” Greed said, sounding slightly panicked. “Mei, you said you wanted to help me.”
“I did want to help you, mister Greed, but Lan Fan’s right. This is taking too long. You two need to sort this out before we get back, or we’re kicking both of your butts, okay?”
Lan Fan, alarmingly, did not object to the idea of Mei kicking Ling’s butt, and instead calmly walked away with the younger girl.
Ling looked back at Greed, who was staring after Mei like a man lost at sea watching his last hope of rescue disappear over the horizon.
“Do you know what we're supposed to be working out?” Ling asked, watching Greed's attention snap to him in a wide eyed stare. “Because I really don't want to get beat up by my little sister and my best friend. Actually, I think I liked it better when they hated each other.”
“Right,” Greed said. He took a deep breath and shook his arms out, his expression settling into something more calm and confident that was almost convincing. “I can use my words, no problem. I don't act like a child.”
“Of course,” Ling agreed, trying to sound encouraging.
Privately he had his doubts. This sounded like it was going to be a serious conversation, and while Greed has many strengths and good qualities, the ability to talk about serious things–or gods forbid his own emotions–was not one of them. He hadn't even been able to tell the difference between wanting world domination and wanting friends until Ling spelled it out for him.
Ling thought he might know what this was about, or hoped he did anyway. But he wouldn't push. If he was wrong it would be awful, and if he was right then it was best to let Greed try and get it out on his own time.
“I want–I mean I–you’re so–” Greed cut himself with a muttered curse. “Let me start over?”
“Sure. Take your time.”
Greed took a few more breaths, looking everywhere but at Ling, before seeming to gather the nerve to continue.
“I want to rule Xing with you,” Greed said in a rush, so fast Ling could hardly make out the words. “I mean, if that offer's still on the table. If I didn't screw it up forever with the lying to you and almost dying and making you waste that philosopher's stone to save my ass. I really hope I didn't screw it up?”
That wasn't exactly what Ling had wanted to hear, but it was still good. It meant Greed wanted to stay with him, and Ling wanted to rule Xing together too. That could be enough. It really could.
He refused to let himself be disappointed.
“You didn't screw anything up,” he reassured. “Of course the offer still stands. I thought that was obvious when you decided to come back with us.”
Greed shook his head. “No–well yes, but. What I mean is…we aren't sharing the same body anymore.”
“Yes, I've noticed that.” Ling agreed slowly, once again lost as to what Greed was even talking about.
“Right. Of course you have. Obviously.” Greed waved his hand vaguely, as if shooing away Ling’s comment. “So, now we’re two different people. I mean we always were, but like, legally or whatever. And, you know, normally if two different people are ruling a country together it’s because they’re together. I guess usually married, technically.”
Oh.
Oh.
That was actually a bit more than Ling had been hoping for, to be honest. But Greed never did anything halfway.
Before Ling could say anything, Greed’s mind visibly caught up with his mouth. His face turned a very interesting shade of red.
“Wait, no, that’s not what I–” Greed waved both hands in the space between them, like he could maybe catch and take back the words. “I don’t mean we should get married right now! Or ever, if you don’t want. We really haven’t known each other that long, even if it feels like I’ve known you forever. I just meant–I really want to stay with you, and not just because I want to rule a country. So maybe we could date? Or something? God, I sound like an idiot! Forget I said anything, I’m just gonna go dig a hole and bury myself for a few hours. Or years.”
Greed turned away, and Ling just managed to shake himself out of his shock in time to catch his hand before he could make a break for it.
Greed could have pulled away easily. There was no way Ling, who was back to being an ordinary human, could have held a homunculus who really didn’t want to stay put. But Greed didn’t pull away. Instead he stopped like he was rooted to the ground. He looked down at where their hands were joined between them, then twisted his so he could interlock their fingers.
Ling couldn’t stop the huge smile growing across his face, no doubt completely goofy and undignified, and not even serving a purpose like the ones he used to put on for his airheaded prince act. He didn’t really care.
“I don’t think you sound like an idiot,” Ling said. “I want to stay with you not just to rule a country too.”
Greed eyes darted up from their hands to look searchingly at Ling’s face. “Really?” He asked.
Of course, for all Greed’s blustering self aggrandizement, he really didn’t think very highly of himself. Ling might be the only one to know the truth of that, so he knew how hard it must have been for Greed to come out and say that he wanted to be with Ling, without even hiding behind some convoluted speech about wanting to own him.
It gave Ling the courage to do something hard himself.
“Yes, really. Couldn’t you feel it when we were sharing a body?” Ling really hadn’t thought he’d been subtle, but Greed just tilted his head in question. “Greed, I love you.”
Greed gasped, looking at Ling like he’d just performed a miracle. He raised his free hand and gently, almost hesitanty, cupped the side of Ling’s face.
“I–” Greed started, and then gave up trying to talk in favor of leaning forward and kissing Ling.
It was a chaste kiss, just a brush of their lips really, and Ling wasn’t sure if Greed was being considerate for his comparative lack of experience, or if the vulnerability of the moment had made the homunculus feel uncertain in the action himself.
Either way, that simple press of lips felt amazing, electric in a way it maybe didn’t have any right to. A part of Ling would probably always miss the closeness of sharing his body with Greed, but now he realized that having their own bodies opened up a lot of exciting new possibilities.
All too soon, Greed pulled away again. He stared into Ling’s eyes, looking every bit as dazed and happy as Ling felt.
“I love you too,” Greed said, his voice barely above a whisper but the only thing Ling could hear.
Greed’s new old body was taller, and Ling had to reach up to wrap a hand around the back of his head and tug him down into another, deeper kiss. But Greed leaned back in so easily he barely had to pull, so that was okay.
Eventually they’d need to talk more, about what they both wanted, about how to frame their relationship to the emperor and the people of Xing so it wouldn’t hurt their chances at the throne. But all of that could wait. For now, Ling was more than happy to let the world fall away as he stood in the ruined city and kissed the man he loved.
When the girls returned to find them like that, Mei seemed torn between finding the romance sweet and being disgusted by her brother kissing someone. She landed on disgusted, sticking her tongue out and saying, “Blech! Do that somewhere else!” before flopping down next to her bags and pulling out a notebook, presumably to take note of whatever alchemical oddities she’d spotted on her walk.
Lan Fan still looked tired and sad, and probably would for a long time yet, but when she smiled at Ling he could tell it was genuine. “I’m happy for you, young lord,” she said, and her voice sounded lighter than he’d heard it since before she cut off her arm.
So much had changed since he’d set off for Amestris nearly a year ago, and Ling had lost things he would never get back. But he’d gained more than he’d ever thought to dream as well.
As he sat in the ruins of the city whose destroyer they had helped defeat, with his best friend, the little sister he never thought he’d be allowed to care for, and the love of his life by his side, Ling thought he’d be ready for whatever changes the future might hold.
#greedxlingweek2024#fma#greed fma#ling yao#greedling#i love these idiots#write a freaking story without thousands of words of introspection up front challenge level impossible#I was like oh i'll just do a quick lil thing about greed's love language being gift giving#thats fun and ironic but also suits him#I guess they'd need to be in separate bodies for it to really work though. ill set it on the return trip to Xing in an AU where greed#got his old body back after the self sacrifice attempt#but then i had to address all the emotional baggage and trauma theyd have at that point#before i could convince my brain to write the dang prompt#your honor in my defense i am simply a yapper#writing a version of greed who has been forced to confront the mortifying ordeal of being known and admit that he wants friends is fun#because he cant hide behind 'ooh im so evil and badass and i want to own you all' anymore#and ive decided hed be incredibly bad and awkward at that#hes got no practice!#ive never written lings pov before#not sure if i got his voice right#ive also never written them separated like this before#i prefer when they're sharing a body usually. ill probably stick them back together for the rest of the week#anyway these tags have gotten out of hand and i need to go to bed#enjoy the greedling!
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something about being in an online game makes you want to personally give every tank player who's ever lived a kiss on the lips
#we don't deserve you tank players#million smooches to all of you#God that feeling when the tank chooses YOU to hover around bc you make the most dmg and aren't actively suicidal <3#And I usually player a healer so I never meet tanks bc I'm already the roaming role#but on the rare chance I pick a squishy glasscanon mage and get to experience being protected by an astute tank#oh boy suddenly I get why people waged wars to prove their love#yeah it makes sense. You took that hit meant for me? I'll murder everyone on the map for you. You big buff babygirl dw about it#they indulge me and let me lead them around the map like no baby you're the tank you move and I'll follow you to the end of the world!#Ig they're used to dps going off on their own and having to babysit them which yeah Ik that feeling very well from my support days-#But I'm different I promise my beloved tank! I'd never lead you astray! I'll wait for you to agro and hook first I swear!#I won't let greed consume me....except if I'm close to a kill in which case you understand don't you? The dps needs to be a little risky#if we play it too safe then we will never get an edge#☆other#no I'm not back on league...I'm just...visiting yeah
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(For Tim's father) (@experimentalfma )
The most recent roll of film had finally been developed, and Hughes held the packet of brand new family photos close to his chest, a warmth already blossoming inside him at the prospect of seeing all of those recent memories brought to life. He'd planned on reviewing them with Gracia once he got home, but a quick peek on the way back wouldn't hurt.
After a quick glance upward to make sure he wouldn't walk into anyone, he gave in and dove into the packet, his smile growing with every photo he flipped through. Unfortunately, however, he was sidetracked enough the didn't look up as he automatically rounded the corner and bumped straight into a man on the other side of the sidewalk, scattering photos all around them.
"Sorry, guess I got a little distracted there." Hughes smiled apologetically and bent down to gather the fallen photos, breaking into a wider grin as he held one up for the stranger. "But how could I not be? Adorable, right? She just turned four last month, and we brought her out to the field to pick flowers for her party. My wife was trying to teach her how to make flower crowns, and I still have the one she made me. Have you ever seen someone working so hard on making one so beautiful?" In the photo, Elicia wore an exceptionally concentrated expression as she tried to figure out how to weave a few flowers together. As far as flower crowns went, it was barely wearable, but in his eyes, it was perfection he couldn't help but share, even with a perfect stranger.
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It had been a long time since Nikolaos had set foot in Amestris, let alone central. Back when he was a much younger man with quite a few less grey hairs, and not even a wife or kids to speak of. In truth despite the current problems between the countries he did miss traveling and had even missed Amestris itself.
The city had changed quite a bit many more buildings then last he remembered, many quite tall as well. Far different from the quite countryside town back home.
His cane lightly tapped against the stone sidewalk as he took in some of the sights, only wishing he was there on better terms. The chances of actually finding Tim seemed slim but he'd had to take the chance, while cautious to whom he spoke and what he said he still held some hope that someone may know something. Perhaps he should try getting in contact with the man from Dublith, he'd helped him once years ago before and if anyone knew anything.. he might.
Whump
Rather unexpectedly he found himself stumbling back a couple steps but managed to keep balance, photos flying everywhere and fluttering to the ground he placed his cane on top of one before a breeze could take it away.
Carefully he crouched down letting go of the cane to help the younger man gather up the photos, many of which seemed to have the main focus of a rather darling little girl.
"It's alright, no harm done," He smiled. Nikolaos could spot a new parent a mile away and this man fit the bill for sure, while every parent adores their children there was always that extra special something about ones first.
As the man continued Nikolaos paused from gathering to look at the offered out photo, the flower crown in question was clearly barely being held together and very well may have fallen a part not long after the photo, but one couldn't help but admire a child's efforts no matter how poorly the attempt end up. He couldn't contain a light chuckle quite endeared by the photo and reminded of when his own was that small,
"I see, if she keeps working like that I'm sure she'll be making plenty more in no time."
#Nikolaos tag#experimentalfma#[Yes it's Greed had this thought that at one point while not part of the military itself as a doctor who took part in what they were told-#was testing/experiments for like medicine n stuff which kinda true but also a cover#for like Creta's on experiments that went on below thus discovering Tim]#[any way main thing is having heard rumours / maybe briefly met him during his travels just passingly got in contact-#offering his medical service in turn for help forging some documents for tim so you know it looks like he exists-#he side of the deal is he just sends them med supplies now and then]#Also he's fine mostly just messed up his knee but doesn't need the cane all the time#just has some difficulty with extensive walking or standing#tbh I think even tim would be soft for Elicia he loooves kids and if ever given the chance would make such a good dad#may not be related by blood but Tim sure gets his politeness from dad haha#long post
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why is nobody talking about the most perfect ship in all of Fullmetal Alchemist: Greed the Avaricious x Barry the Chopper
#just think about it they're perfect for each other. the guy who likes being brutally murdered and the guy who loves brutally murdering#I shouldn't be allowed in fandom anymore#greed the avaricious#barry the chopper#greed fma#fma greed#fma#yes I'm putting this in all the greed tags you all need to be subjected to my horrible mind
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ngl gang I finished both my dissociation fixation games and got a rejection letter for a job I was a shoe-in for after a month-long, three-pronged review/interview process and I am not having a great time
#finishing dredge's dlcs and dave the diver within the same week was a mistake#where am I gonna find another free chill game to dissolve into#at least daima's coming out friday that'll cure me probably#lays on the floor I am so so grateful for freelance and commissions I truly cannot overstate that#but I haven't had full-time work for what I actually do for a living in Nineteen Months because of stupid ass corporate greed#Ninteen Months of telling myself I'm still a member of this industry despite. No work.#And this rejection letter was for a fraction of what I do for a living. I got told they were very impressed and also I did not get the job.#Idk man like idek what it is I do for a living anymore bc I don't have a living anymore#I've been a member of my union for *four years* and I don't have a living anymore lol#anyway. /vent /negativity etc you get it#I've got stuff I need to work on and I'm beyond grateful for that. I'm just bummed out. I was so close to being okay again.#THIS CLOSE to having some semblance of stability.#icb I got scruffed an inch from the finish line on something that by all accounts I should've been overqualified to do#And both Ganondorf and Vegeta continue to be relatable and so real for having exhausted rage-induced breakdowns over that exact thing lol
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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I think I’ve finally put my finger on the reason why I (and people in general) love to watch “kids’ shows” when they are older teens and adults: because empathy and love, especially platonic love, are arguably humans’ most valuable trait and yet, in our society and in “realistic” media is treated as a weakness or at least at odds with being successful. Like, empathy isn’t even unique to humans, it’s found in and is integral to so many species of animals (and maybe even plants too!!), especially what we consider to be some of the most fearsome predators like lions and wolves. But humans have have “gone all in on” empathy and the capacity to form bonds with other humans, even outside familial circles, which is the reason we outlived the homo erectus which lived at the same time as humans since we were able to form larger communities. And all that’s to say that seeing shows where moral goodness is synonymous with empathy and friendship and wins the day is probably very satisfying for our brains since we don’t often see empathy treated as the essential part of us that it is.
That’s why shows like Hilda or Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts are my personal favorites because the main characters’ defining trait is being empathetic and is, at least in the beginning, their only way of avoiding trouble. And these shows in particular feature the main characters advancing the plot and achieving heroic feats through simply talking it out and generally being a kind and helpful person. When I first watched these shows I, admittedly, saw such events as cheesy, but when I took time to think about it, it not only makes sense why it worked, but was quite literally the best possible way to fix the problem at hand because empathy is a very natural thing for humans and is literally how we have become the apex species so of course it can work when someone gives it a chance.
It’s human nature to be kind and empathetic and is why it’s so satisfying to see it spotlit in kids shows.
#i have no idea how to tag this#empathy#human nature#humanity#children’s show#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts#kataow#dreamworks kipo#hilda the show#hilda the series#hilda netflix#give us more shows where empathy conquers all!!#especially media with adults as the target audience#it’s so weird how we have used our gift of intelligence to tell ourselves that empathy is a weakness#like why is reality basically synonymous for pessimism and dark gritty nightmares#it’s capitalism#always capitalism#capitalism is why we can’t have nice things#its also why friendship is so underrated#because if we actually prioritized friendships as we should the economy would collapse#which would be a GOOD thing#because the economy is a made up thing that rewards greed and selfishness and inscentivizes low quality of life#and it discourages innovation because more money would be generated from many inefficient products than one better one#it literally goes against humans’ two biggest evolutionary advantages: empathy and intelligence#i did not mean to go on this tangent about economy in the tags but here we are#empathy and compassion are logical and what we are built to do#we need to stop treating them as opposing forces#Watch Kipo to see what I mean#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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Like they just did that and moved on
#i know they werent the point of the story/other things were going on (al) BUT OMFG#like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE JUST WENT AND DID THAT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MEANT EVERYTHING TO HIM???#“oh. ive had enough. yeah. thats all i really need. they gave me everything i could want. hehe. thank you. and goodbye. my friends”#ASDFGHJKL?!?!?!?!??!?!#sorry i cant be coherent about this please understand what im trying to say#“i want the world” “no you want friends” “shit ur right. guess ill die” “okay cool ill yell ur name and then never be sad about it”#do not misunderstand me i absolutely love them i adore them but like do you see what im trying to say#also in the sub (the one i watched at least. idk if they differ between platforms) he says#“enough... yeah. thats enough. i dont need anything more. see you later. my soul... friends”#OUGH#FUCK#thank goodness for fanfiction yknow. i need them in grief and pain but also i need him to live yknow#fmab spoilers#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#greed the avaricious#greedling#ling yao#edward elric#im so not okay about them istg#moss' madness
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the utter euphoria when you find a new hyperfixation youtube channel and the utter despair when you realize you got through all their videos in like two days
#this is about paper skies btw#youtube kept suggesting their 'how greed killed 16 soviet admirals' video#and i finally caved on a completely different video#just to have something on while i tried to finish something for work#and then i got completely lost and binged the shit out of them#i am in DESPAIR#i went through all their nebula content and everything#i need more my little ukranian friend#i am begging you#paper skies#ryo rambles
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FEED US DRAGON!GETO THOUGHTS PLSPLSPLS 😫🫣
ANON IF YOU WANT ANSWERS TALK TO IO SHE’S THE ONE WHO BROKE MY BRAIN WITH THIS CONCEPT 😭😭😭 but . aaaaaa . he is just so possessive and twisted <33333 a dragon hoarding his treasure from the rest of the world <333333 io said it’d end with him either destroying himself to protect you or killing you out of pure love and i just think that’s sooooooo twisted and soooooooooo tasty and sooooooo geto . dragon!geto. he’s awful
#need him desperately…….#he’s a helicopter mom <333333#i love the idea of dragon!geto because it would have to be a geto with excessive greed and that just. translates into him being a little#sick in the head#his possessiveness is soooo much worse than normal sugu’s#and he kind of sees you as . his human pet <333 so it’s just sick & twisted all around#i love him so much io is a genius i need to kiss her brain#ask tag ✩
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Ah I have to not be online for a few hours but I want to write so much more about Sol My Stand-In when I come back. I just feel like so much of fandom is sleeping on how actually dimensional and interesting and human he is! Maybe because a lot of us have Nice Guy baggage it's intuitive to transplant onto him, but that's not actually what's happening here... i m o
#the person he loved was driven off a cliff by a violent and abusive partner#it's actually quite normal for him to be going a little insane trying to make sure his person doesn't go back to that partner#joe going back to ming is joe's choice not sol's choice#but sol wanting to stop it is not sol opportunistically trying to force joe to want him back#sol wanting to stop it is a person who grieved joe for years WANTING JOE TO STAY ALIVE AND SAFE#and trying to glow himself up into what joe needs and wants so that can happen#now i love the series for leaving ambiguity in all this#and ALLOWING you your reading where sol is acting out of opportunism and romantic greed#but i simply think that is the boring reading. and also the very incorrect one#my stand in#my stand in spoilers#dear diary
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