#all this comes down to is that i'm being enabled to post more of him

[herearedragons]

would you mind elaborating on edér's writing in deadfire? i don't recall anything really egregious but im not a Pillars Scholar

I am about to turn into an unskippable cutscene.

so there are four parts to my beef with Deadfire Edér, the first being more nebulous and having to do with his Overall Vibe, the second being the orlan racism (we'll get there), the third being the way him being unromanceable was handled (which tbf largely comes from me being disappointed because I, Personally shipped it, but I do have some gripes with how it was executed from a storytelling standpoint), and the fourth being his companion quest, which I think contains the strongest cases of He Would Not Fucking Say That. (if you just want to know what I referred to in the tags of that post, just skip to the fourth point, titled The Companion Quest.)

Deadfire spoilers from this point on. (also SORRY, this is long, you've enabled this, I'm just going to spell out ALL of my beef here so I no longer have to retype it. this is also very biased on account of me preferring POE1 Edér and my specific reading of his character. if you, the person reading this, got something different from this character and prefer it to my vision, cool! you might get some entertainment out of seeing the hole I dug myself into.)

TL;DR I feel like Edér's Deadfire writing had a change in characterization that I didn't enjoy, and that it drops the ball on things that Pillars Of Eternity and The Reaping (Edér's short story) set up in a way that just makes me feel bad.

The Overall Vibe: this is honestly take-it-or-leave-it, but I feel like Deadfire dumbed him down somewhat? like he has great lines still, there are moments where he's shown to be observant and calls people out on their bullshit, but... idk. I feel like the companion and NPCs treat him with much more scorn specifically related to him bring a Dumb Farmer, and the thing is that... it's kind of presented like they're right? There's a Serafen banter where Serafen kind of says that Edér's a no thoughts head empty kind of guy, which... he's not? Or, at least, that's not the kind of person he's been shown to be in POE1 and in his short story (The Reaping). The vibe I got from pre-Deadfire media was that if anything, Edér is an overthinker, constantly questioning the people around him and himself. He has his blind spots, for sure (orlans.), but he's very concerned with doing the right thing, and he can often offer insights into why people act the way they do. He's critical, and he's empathetic, and... that's just not there in Deadfire, because I guess "Edér is your himbo tank buddy" makes for a better punchline. (<- salty)

and this is me getting REALLY petty, but his Deadfire voice being significantly deeper/more gruff doesn't help matters. like, PLEASE, go listen to the audio of him talking about the farmer and his Hollowborn child in POE1, or him saying ANYTHING at all about Woden. You can hear his voice break. You can hear the sincerity and the uncertainty and the anguish. you don't really get that in Deadfire imo

The Orlan Racism: idk, chat, I agree that the guy is weird about orlans, I wish we had any actual dialogue about that instead of just watching him put his foot in his mouth over and over (we'll GET to the rejection dialogue.), but like I think we could do better than this.

my beef isn't with Edér having prejudices, but with the... general way it's handled? his Hiravias banters are probably my favorite Edér Orlan Racism content across both games, because Edér says a stupid thing, gets yelled at by Hiravias, feels bad about it, tries to backtrack, and backpedals right into another microaggression. But also, there's more to his relationship with Hiravias: they chat about their shared experiences with violence, women and recreational drugs, and it sounds like Edér actually kind of relates to him. Not in a deep way, but in the way that lets them trade stories and go "hey, that happened to me too!". This makes me feel like the orlan microaggressions are something that's baked into Edér's cultural background to the point where (as he says himself) he doesn't understand that it's bad, or why Hiravias would take offense. it's funny, right? or it's a compliment? and he feels bad when he realizes that it's not, because that's not what he was trying to convey.

the Serafen banter could *maybe* be chocked down to the same kind of ignorance, but between that and Edér rejecting an orlan Watcher specifically on the grounds of them being an orlan (which from a Doylist perspective is a LIE, by the way)... idk, it feels like it's veering more into "he doesn't see orlans as the same as other kith", which is kind of not the vibe I got in POE1? and it's kind of played as like, well what can you do, he's just ignorant/prejudiced like that, which... feels bad? considering that the Watcher, potentially his best friend and moral compass, could be an orlan? if he was so prejudiced towards orlans, wouldn't he have not put so much stock into them in the first place? also, might be just me, but combined with the "FARMER /derogatory" of it all it almost feels weirdly classist? like, ah yes, the hick farmer is racist, what can we do. he can't possibly learn or have second thoughts about this. he can't possibly rethink that mindset, nevermind that his entire arc up to this point was about his entire worldview being shattered, he's just so set in his ways, you guys! isn't it funny how awkward he is!

anyway, I've read reddit comments that went "well some people in real life are like this", which, fair! but also, this is a fictional character that serves a purpose, and I don't think that's the best direction to take him in. it's fine if we disagree on this.

The Unromanceability: well, clearly I came out of POE1 an Edér/Watcher shipper, and from the tag dives I've done, I clearly wasn't the only one, and I also wasn't the only one disappointed by what we got in Deadfire (I also understand that companion romances were promised but not which companions, so people went into Deadfire on release fully intending to kiss Edér. and to all those people: I'm So Sorry.)

anyway my thoughts are that him not being romanceable is, like, fine. we could just do a fated besties HawkeVarric situation and whoever wanted to ship it could do it in fic. it would have literally been fine.

what we got was a) the option to confess to Edér and be rejected by him, b) this banter.

let's break it down.

the confession: let me preface this by saying that I know that people have interpreted Edér's rejection as him being aromantic, to which I say, cool! honestly, if I wasn't already deep in the Edér x Watcher romantic trenches I might have picked it up. but it is what it is.

a few things that I have a bone to pick with here.

as I've learned from going through the game's text files, Edér will start his rejection the same way, but will have a different reason for it depending on who the Watcher is. if the Wather is an orlan, he'll claim that back at home orlans and folk "just don't mix" and he hasn't gotten over that; if the Watcher is a man, he'll say that he's not into men and (I KID YOU NOT.) will hit you with an "in another life, maybe" (WILD IN A WORLD WHERE THERE'S REINCARNATION.); if the Watcher is a non-orlan woman, he'll claim that he hasn't really "felt like that" about anyone since Elafa.

so let me get this straight. the orlan and male Watcher lines are basically a lie, right? because he still rejects you if you're NOT an orlan. "maybe in another world" is a lie, because if you're a folk woman, he'll STILL reject you. there IS no universe where he reciprocates. so... why did he SAY that? why did he talk about orlans? WHY did he say "in another life" to a male Watcher, implying that under different circumstances he would have, if he just wouldn't?

I will say that if you read him as aro it works pretty well, because it looks like he's just reaching for the nearest excuse because he doesn't have the words to explain how he really feels about romance. Which is fun. But if that wasn't the intention, then it kind of makes me feel like? he's saying the thing that would hurt the most for this specific kind of Watcher? for some reason?

the thing about him being unromanceable (and here's where the banter is going to come in) is that I just can't figure out how the game wants me to feel about the idea of him and the Watcher being together? does it want me to laugh at it? does it want me to think there's a chance? like, if you want there to be no romance, you just need to not implement it. but knowing that people (including me. I'm people) loved the character in POE1 and came into Deadfire looking forward to romance him, the explicit need to shoot down the idea twice, with someone bringing it up and Edér going "no." is WEIRD. and Tekēhu's "Ngati weeps for such wasted potential" line is WEIRD. it feels like the game is making fun of me for even wanting that to be an option. It doesn't feel good or organic. And if Edér WAS meant to be aromantic, I don't think that's the best way to convey that. It's fine if we don't agree on this.

The Companion Quest: okay, NOW we can talk about Elafa.

The Reaping is a short story by Edér's lead writer, set just before the Eothasian purges started. It gives us a look into what Gilded Vale was like in that time, what the people felt and what it was like to be an Eothasian. It's great, it's freaking sad, I really like it.

In that story, Elafa is a Gilded Vale woman about Edér's age, who he used to hook up with before the war, when they both were younger (so in their teens, I assume). He meets her for the first time after coming back from the Saint's War at a celebration, dances with her, notes how she looks older now. They're still somewhat fond of each other, and he ends up spending the night with her. He then finds out that Elafa has married since he last saw her (I don't remember if we ever learn what happened to the husband), and that she has a child that she's raising alone. Her child is Hollowborn.

I'm going to show you a few passages from The Reaping now.

this is his relationship with Elafa in The Reaping.

fellas, is this what the guy from the above scenes would say about the woman from the above scenes FIRST THING when being asked about her? in front of a stranger? (this is triggered right after recruiting Xoti.)

I don't know. maybe it's just me, but when he finds out that her son is Hollowborn, the FIRST THING he does is voice his support. the second thing he does is try to imagine himself in her shoes. later in the story he kills a man with his bare hands to save her Hollowborn son, she kills another, and they hide the evidence together.

^ he's saying that one TO HER SON. (not the Hollowborn. other son.)

fellas, is this the same people?

(^ being extremely salty)

and then, the other thing about his companion quest is These Lines

chat.... is this Edér? is this Edér "the gods really have it in for you; wish they knew you like I did" Teylecg? is this the guy specifically built up by the narrative to be your ride-or-die? the guy who saw his god crawl out of the earth and instead of doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE hoofed it to where he knew YOU were, to save your life?

please explain to me the purpose behind having him go "hey, you know how I said I care about you? well, I kind of didn't mean that. can we go find that woman I hooked up with and see if her second son is mine?" in the exact way he did. like. POE1 and The Reaping conditoned me to think of him as someone who understands people. who FEELS for them. POE1 and the opening of Deadfire, by virtue of him SAVING MY GODDAMN LIFE, also conditioned me to think he cares about the Watcher. deeply. sincerely. WHY is the narration trying to convince me otherwise? WHY are we throwing out every single part of the character that I originally found appealing? POE1 Edér became my favorite because he was funny, yes, but also because he was insightful; because he was questioning; because you could hear in his voice that this is a guy teetering on his breaking point and still trying to find joy in the world, trying to find something, anything that would help him make sense of things; because he cared about people, and he cared about the Watcher. he trusted you with his past, and you helped him make peace with it. he saw you through the horrors and the creeping insanity of an Awakening, and offered whatever help he could, and felt that he knew you. his world shattered during the Saint's War, and you helped him find his place in the wreckage, where something new may grow. you were with him when he found out the truth about his brother and about Eothas, and decided what it meant to him. that's FUN. that's COMPELLING. that REWROTE MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY.

Deadfire is a great game and Edér has great moments in it. But I have subjective, petty beef with it, and I also have slightly less subjective beef with the way it just chooses not to follow through on things like his relationships with Elafa and Hiravias, reducing these topics to one-liners that deny him both depth and growth, which is WHAT I LIKED ABOUT HIM. I didn't like him because he was a himbo tank. I liked the existential crisis. And we don't even GET a fun existential crisis for him in Deadfire, because it just does "is Eothas.... bad?" again. arguably the "am I a dad?" arc could have been a fun existential crisis, but I just don't like the way it was done - and resolved - at all

so... yeah.

[honeyblackberries]

In the back seat (18+)

caleb x fem reader/mc smut

minors dni | inspired by diet pepsi by addison rae | cross-posted to ao3

word count: 1466

cw: simp caleb, soft dom caleb, he also likes to bite, pantie freak caleb, reader enables him, praise, oral (fem receiving), p in v, responsible car sex <333 (don't get freaky in a rental car irl), irresponsible intercourse (caleb doesn’t wrap it before he taps it), porn with feelings, porn no plot because idk how to write plot but i also can’t really write porn so maybe this is a secret third thing, no set pov.

names used: pips (pipsqueak but cuter), good girl, pretty girl, my girl

If Caleb is being honest with himself this moment is something straight out of his teenage fantasies. Driving along the coast with you in the passenger's seat, listening as you sing along to a song that’s been on repeat for the past half hour. Hair softly blowing in the wind as the late afternoon sun glows behind you like a halo.

You’re an angel he thinks, how else could you bless him with such a gift on one of his rare days off. The keys to his dream car—with the disclaimer that it was only a rental during his visit to Linkon—and that short sundress… His gaze unconsciously drifts from the road and onto you.

Maybe wet dreams are a better description for this. The way the hem of your dress rides up your thighs while you shift to find a more comfortable position, cotton panties peeking out underneath it.

Your eyes meet his and Caleb feels his pants tighten.

Today was supposed to be a well deserved break from all the demands that come with being the Farspace Fleet’s Colonel. Something relaxing. Yet he can’t help but feel inclined to the complete opposite. Back ramrod straight and hand, previously loose and confident on the wheel, now gripping it so tight that his knuckles strain.

“I'm happy you’re here,” you say sweetly and he has to stop himself from acting like a horny dog. “Is there anything you wanna do before we head home?”

“Eat you out,” he thinks dreamily.

“..What?”

Shit. Shit. How could he say that out loud!? He’s an idiot, a depraved fool—

“Well, okay.”

He almost crashes the car.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to—I mean—I didn’t mean to say it out loud,” you laugh at him and he isn’t sure whether to be mortified or turned on.

“Pull over.” He does.

Caleb doesn’t realise it but despite the less than innocent circumstances his silly reaction makes you smile. Happy at the expression that settles on his handsome face. How his eyes light up in a way you never really see anymore, giddy and unrestrained.

‘Cute,’ you want to tease, but he’s already rolling the tinted windows up. Undoing his seatbelt and moving into the back seat. Oh how could you keep him waiting when he’s just so eager? You undo your own seatbelt and amusedly follow along. Moving to get on top of him.

“Don’t hover pips,” he instructs—in that know-it-all voice he’s used since you were kids—and you don’t get the chance to consider it. Not when his hands trail under your skirt to grab your thighs and impatiently bring you down onto his face.

“Fuck you smell so good,” his nose presses right against your clothed heat. He inhales deeply. “I could get off just from smelling you, just from smelling these,” his lips part to let teeth graze the thin fabric of your panties.

“I can keep 'em when we're done, yeah?” His hot breath makes a shiver run through you in anticipation. His tongue licks down the centre where a wet patch starts to form. “I’ll cook dinner in return.”

You want to argue that he always cooks dinner. But you want what he’s currently offering more.

Your small hum of agreement is all he needs.

Safe to say, Caleb does mouth at you like a dog. Desperate, hungry, tongue heavy and slobbering. You have to push yourself against his chest to keep steady. The toned muscles there flexing as he eats like he’s been starved.

“Good girl, sittin’ so pretty for me,” his praise is barely understandable. Voice muffled and lower than a moment ago.

One of his hands leaves your thighs, his fingers moving to the fabric separating you. He teasingly pulls it back and lets go, a light snap against your skin. You flinch and he chuckles in response. He then pushes it to the side to expose you bare to him. Continuing to lick, this time with the addition of his thumb rubbing directly against your sensitive bud.

“Delicious,” he moans at the taste and sucks at your clit for more.

You’re not sure how long you last before everything crashes down all at once. Your orgasm racking your body and leaving you trembling. Dripping right into his open mouth.

The way your breath hitches and small whines you make when you cum always remind him how he could spend the rest of his life between your thighs. Forever wanting you pliant in his hold like this.

As you start to feel yourself coming down from the high, Caleb lightly bites at your tender flesh, making you yelp. He places a soft kiss in apology, even though you both know he isn’t sorry in the slightest.

In an act of revenge you start to reach for where he needs it. Fingertips barely brushing the large tent in his pants before he grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Next time pips, I’ll go crazy if I’m not inside you soon.” At that you’re suddenly flipped around, back pressed against the leather seat. Wedged in the cramped space afforded to you between the car and his large body.

Caleb looks down at you with a wide grin. The lower half of his face damp with your arousal and his own saliva.

“Let me put it in?”

Even when he’s like this the words come out as a question. He’ll only do it if you let him, only if you want it half as much as he does. His silver necklace dangles in front of you and reflected in it is your lips, curled up into an affirmative.

Caleb wastes no time. Hurriedly undoing his pants and freeing his hard leaking cock. Leaning over you with one hand beside your head as the other grasps his reddened tip and nudges you panties to the side with it. Lining himself up he sinks into you slowly.

“You’re heaven,” he yaps, already pussy drunk. "You feel like heaven, ugh—like you were made for me. Weren’t you?”

He shakes his head at his own words, as if a better explanation came to him. Then he resolutely bottoms out inside you.

“No, I was the one made for you.”

“Caleb—” you whine at the feeling of being so full. Arms moving to wrap around his torso, not sure if to hold him closer or push him away.

He groans, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to fight off the orgasm that would have had him cumming from the way you say his name. Testingly, he pulls out slightly just to push back in. Repeating shallow thrusts to get you comfortable.

“More,” you beg.

“Of course,” he kisses you and you can taste yourself on him. “I aim to please.” His pace quickens, becoming rough. You can’t help but clench at the immediate change.

“Oh shit—loosen up pretty girl.” You try to.

Over and over you feel his cock try to make your cunt give in to him, and when he feels the grip of your walls ease up slightly he angles his hips to hit deeper.

You claw at his back, the fabric of his shirt catching under your fingers. The feeling of him too much.

“You like that huh?”

The car windows are fogging at the spike in body heat, neither of you letting up until you both get your fill. The sounds of shallow breathing and skin against skin the only thing that can be heard.

Caleb bites your lip when he kisses you in between thrusts. Like he wants to devour you in every way possible.

“I’m—close,” you bury your face into his neck, trying to ground yourself.

He nearly slips entirely out of you. Hips starting to lose their rhythm, a sign that he is too.

“I know—fuck—cum with me.”

Your release comes first, and he doesn’t last long after.

“That's my girl.”

His movements slow as he spills into you. A white ring forming around the base of him as a mix of both your cum tries to leak out. He grinds a few times to make sure it stays then collapses on top of you.

The two of you remain like that for a few minutes, relishing in the feeling of your chests pressed together as you cool down. Caleb’s cock slowly going limp inside you.

His hands move to cradle your face, gently stroking your cheeks as he kisses all over with cherishing lightness.

“I love you.”

“Love you too Caleb.”

Then he has to go and ruin the moment.

“Panties please,” he holds out his hand. Asking for a treat.

You sigh, the post-nut clarity kicking in. “I’ll give it to you after I wash it.”

“Don’t wash it.”

“...”

a/n: rip need everyone to know this was initially supposed to be a sylus fic. also what do we think do we like me actually trying to make the layout nice/not write in all lowercase??

[hattersrabbit]

BITTERSWEET TOUCH

yandere batfam x neglected!rogue! reader | sfw

CW! female reader, overstepping boundaries, ALL PLATONIC, hurt & comfort (in a messed up kind of way), isolation, guilt tripping, miscommunication, Tim being little freak, jealousy (amongst sibs), ambiguous ending, Stockholm Syndrome, tiny bit of victim blaming, bittersweet ending (no happy ending yet >:) and probably never but we'll see)

Summary! They took you home from the alley; held by Jason and he refused to let go. You're father overjoyed, and against wishes hugged you. In a cage you were held, Alfred enables, Bruce gives you the love you wanted, and your siblings are too possessive for you liking. Coming to the conclusion that you'll never be free & albeit horribly, you don't want to leave this sudden affection.

✎ᝰ. didn't expect the last part to get so much love so thank you alot! I'm here with more and even more chaos <3 this is a series now which all parts from past and future can be seen. See my pinned post to find it!

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˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

You were screaming for them to let you go.

They weren't listening to you. You would kill them if they touched you. Why did they care now?

It didn't make any sense to you.

"Shh don't wake the civilians." Dick's voice was chilling. Despite the white lenses his eyes were scary to you. You whimpered when Jason squeezed you; his arm holding you up by the waist.

Like some luggage.

As if you couldn't kill him. As if you couldn't bring him to the grave a second time.

"He's worried sick. Full of guilt." Jason began. A dark tone to his voice. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"We must not let him spiral." Damian concluded. Too close for comfort next to you. Not moving away when he should have. "Father is very paranoid. He's backing off all of the news about you and the scrutiny." He wrinkled his nose when he heard criminals moving around trying to find you.

"Should we?" Tim questioned to Dick.

"No, it'll only worsen things. We need to get her home." He patted your head with his gloved hand. You wondered when those hands holding you would be devoid of gloves.

"I second that!" Stephanie chirped. Linking arms with Cassandra who started staring at you through her creepy mask.

Just a bit of the way you could see Duke's still trembling lips. Guilty no doubt, which you still couldn't understand why.

Why any of them were doing this is beyond you. Was your father truly sick in his heart and worrying for you. He hasn't shown you any affection, and now he was worried.

He never seemed worried before.

You've never seen the batcave before. It was cold and dark. Everything that was outside.

Jason didn't let go of you when they arrived at the cave. Centered at the batcomputer being your father, Bruce. When he turned his head you saw red. Puffy eyes and tear tracks.

Never had you seen a reaction from him like that.

"B." Dick whispered. Gesturing to you. Wide-eyed you looking on in shock at your father. "Jason, set her down." Just as he did so Damian embraced you once again.

"Stop-"

You couldn't deny the cold you felt in this cave being covered by Damian's warmth. It felt nice but no... you could let him. "Let go-"

"[ ]." You're name hung heavy on Bruce's tongue. Just as Duke had: there was guilt in his tone of voice. Pained for what he'd done to you. For the neglect despite believing it to be possibly what you needed.

You're mother died and forced into a new environment. Then Tim's hypothesis. Bruce didn't know what to do other than give you space.

It backfired.

Damian's own body pushed you forward. Suddenly, against your will, both he and Bruce were hugging you. Your bare face on his shoulder.

Close to his exposed face.

"Stop. Stop. I'll kill you..." You could get out of this no matter how hard you tried. The snap of fingers scared you.

"Don't upset him." Jason's voice rang deep. A light smack was heard, and Dick scolding. You couldn't hear them for you were trying so hard to avoid skin to skin touch.

You would kill your father as you did your mother.

"I'm sorry, dear, for my actions. Everyone is after you, but don't fret. You're safe as long as you are here."

He pulled away thankfully. His bare hands on the other hand hovered over your cheeks. Eyes frantic at the semblance of him touching you.

You're father's affection, you craved it, but you couldn't accept this.

"You'll be safe. Here and always. You can't go out otherwise they'll take you. Can you understand their all out for you?" You're father's voice was desperate. You've never heard it in such a way.

His hands settled on your shoulders.

Too close, you thought.

"You're home. This is your home and always will be." You shivered. He settled on grabbing you into another hold. Your voice was caught in your throat as you were subjected to more touch.

Against your better judgment you almost immediately melted when you felt Damian flush against your side. "Never leave me, again." There was a growl to your younger brother's voice.

Seemingly appointed to elsewhere.

You imagined you didn't hear a low growl from Jason's lips.

Adjusting to everything was a treat to experience. None of them would leave you alone, and you hated that you enjoyed it.

Always trying to be in your presence always.

It wasn't hard for you not to notice your siblings possessive behavior over you, and above all, fighting with each other because of it.

You're room felt warm. Dressed in a dress Stephanie insisted for you to wear. Damian and Cass remained in your room, refusing to leave your side, along side Stephanie who wanted to dress you up.

Trying to make up for lost time.

Duke wanted to stay but he had the morning shift.

He waved a goodbye and morning to you. A wobbly smile on his face. Guilt still prevalent in his eyes.

Damian, jealous in his actions, tore you away from Duke's actions. Already arguing with Stephanie so that you could watch cat videos with him.

Stephanie had dressed you in a purple dress, her affinity for the color was great, long sleeves that draped over your arms. It was off the shoulder, but your shoulders and up to your neck were covered in sheer. The dress itself running to your knees.

Admirable, she urged you to put on black tights. Wanting to make you more comfortable.

You weren't.

You shouldn't be here. But these people who were your family kept you captive in this mansion.

Alfred enabled it. Coming in and now with snacks. A expression that matched that of Duke and Bruce. He was guilty as the rest of them.

Rather hid it than Duke and Bruce.

"This strand? How pretty? How'd you get it?" Stephanie mused. She already knew how. The blonde had a teasing smile. Sickendly sweet on her tongue.

You're mouth didn't open. Her hands with lipstick to your lips.

"Are you dumb, Brown? You're making her uncomfortable." Damian threatened. "I'll get my katana if you do not hurry up. I wish to watch A Dogs Purpose with her."

Cassandra spoke quietly, "Ballet."

"It's my turn, Cain!"

Cassandra signed a 'no.'

"Cassss! Stop rushing me!" Stephanie whined. Her hands still trailing a little at the white streak. "Just curiosity." You gave her a look, and she smiled creepily.

Too sweet.

Alarmly, the feeling of a hand grabbing yours. Stephanie held your face with sudden gloved hands. Admiring her work as Cass grabbed your gloved hands. "Please." Her voice quiet and pleading.

"Cain. Brown. Off my sister this instance." Damian's voice felt like an echo.

"Shut it demon!" Stephanie whined. Rolling her eyes as Damian continued to glare. "Looking pretty, sis." Her eyes wavering over you're expression. Uncomfortable.

"Don't worry in due time it'll all be okay."

"Normal." Cassandra whispered. "Ballet." Her arms wrapped around your waist.

"Movie." Almost pout from Damian. The boy's hands in fists as he watched his older sisters. "It's not you're turn, brat!" Stephanie yelled back.

The two began to argue back and forth.

"Let's go." Cassandra's bare hand moved your entire body. Never once being removed from your gloved hand. A dark feeling seeped into your gut. Touch that was hers, and you enjoyed it.

Damian and Stephanie's voices echoed in yells. Calling after you and Cassandra. You couldn't bare to pull away. Not only because you didn't want to, but Cass's grip on your hand was death grip.

A heavy bruise no doubt on your skin.

You two arrived in her room, which was where she pushed you inside. On your bed she made you sit as she got set up. Not without locking the door of course.

Although, Cass knew it wouldn't hold your siblings. You both knew it, but for the time being Cass would believe it would.

As she did so you felt your hand. A throbbing feeling in it. Not only pain and a sense of loss. Cassandra's touch was what you were missing, and that disturbed you.

Stephanie's lingering touch on you. That also stayed and you wished for it more. A thought for actual bare skin to touch you. For affection to finally touch you, bare and naked.

For that was truth that you would never get.

Cassandra was truly beautiful in her ballet. The young woman even going so far as to teach despite your protests. Her blank stare scared you into complying.

A shivering smile that made you do everything she wanted. Cass was pleased with your form. Her hands were bare as they touched your arms and legs. Making sure they were in proper form.

Of course it didn't last long.

The door being busted open by Jason, and Damian and Stephanie following close by. "Give us [ ]!" You're youngest brother demanded.

"We weren't finished playing dress up!" Stephanie argued. Trying to push the brick house that was Jason Todd. "And you! No she isn't gonna go to the library with you, and read your stupid Jane Austen books!"

"Stephanie you better watch your mouth." Jason scowled out. "Hand her over, Cass."

Cassandra's arms remained around your waist. As your older sister, she was older than all of them. Her stare blank and threatening.

"I'm not afraid of you." Jason tried back. His eyes almost seemed to flash green.

"Hey! Our time together wasn't up."

"Dogs purpose, Brown!"

"Jane Austen you brats!"

Honestly you didn't know what to think. You just wanted to be alone. They were always trying to hold your hand, and spend time with you. All suddenly this since you left.

Ever since you jumped out the window. Tim and your Father's voices echoing for you. The alley where Duke and Cassandra begged you to come home.

Dick's voice and menacing smirk. His fingers curling around your face. The fabric of his suit settling sweetly on your skin.

It was a stand off between your siblings and you were the cause of it. Jealousy stemming off the four of them. Glaring at each other wanting to steal your attention.

"Stop..." You mumbled. No one heard you. If wanted Cassandra to stop touching you. You knew you'd melt at some point. You hated how touch starved you were. Affection was something you were wished for.

Stephanie would go back to wiping your face of make up just to do it again. Her hands making sure whatever outfit she put on fit. Fitting and sewing with her graceful hands.

Damian was clingy. No doubt would hug you when you guys watched the movie he planned. Never moving no matter how much you pleaded.

"I'd like to go read with Jason!" You speaked out. Most likely Jason would simply let you both bask in silence. You hoped at least.

"Ha! You heard her! Let [ ] go, Cass."

Begrudgingly she let you go. Her eyes were sad as Jason's large hand grabbed yours. Your gloved one meeting his bare hand. You sent your three siblings a assured look.

"Later, Damian." It was quiet, lower than a whisper. He heard, and Jason did too. His grip on your hand tightened just as bad as Cassandra's.

"Here." He handed you a copy of Pride and Prejudice. "Tim said you liked her."

You shivered at the name of him. Red Robin, Tim Drake who had suspicions of you and what you were. What led to how you were treated, but even so, you felt thankful. But then you wouldn't be here.

You wouldn't be subjected to the touch and affection you've wanted all your life. One that you had to avoid because of what you are.

"Yeah, he's a little creep." Jason was suddenly up in your face. His face calm and collected. "We wouldn't have been able to find you."

He sat back with his own copy. "Quality time. Don't worry I'm not so good with touch. That's why you picked me, didn't you?"

"How...?"

"I'm a detective. We all are, and it's not too hard for us to decipher you, dear sister." His grin was terrifying. "No need to be afraid, because your never going away again. Right baby sis? Don't you know that?"

You remembered that what's your Bruce said. To stay in the house while the rest of the world tried to look for you.

You nodded. "Dad...He said.."

"Smart girl. B said you were home and would stay home." Jason paused. His eyes looking up. You followed to find a camera there looking down. "Look we're sorry. Really. You must understand we want to show you the love we hadnt shown before."

Again his hand grabbed your gloved one.

You tensed. His eyes were intense on you. "Blame it on Tim all you want, or even if you didn't it was on all of us. You lept out that window like that."

"In any case, you partly caused this. You allowed your impulses to follow. Think about that, baby sis."

"Okay?"

"Hm."

Jason let go of your hand and sitting back. "Good girl. He patted your head. "Now let's read." Opening his copy and sitting close to you without a care.

Feeling numb you opened your copy as well. You're eyes occasionally going to the camera on the ceiling. No doubt either both or either Tim or Barbara watching you.

Most of you bet on it only being Tim.

Reading time was nice but soon Dick came and whisked you away. Despite Jason's protests your oldest brother threw you over his shoulder and ran fast.

Down into the Batcave was where Tim and Bruce were waiting.

"Chum and [ ]. You're here." A soft smile on Bruce's normally stern face. Since you came home he'd been visibly softer. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.

"Yes I've achieved the packaged." His arm tightened against your waist. You knew it was futile when pleading them to stop. Dick especially was touching.

Also scary when you would refuse him outright. Manipulative than most, and everyone knew. Some fell for it before it was too late.

Suddenly you would be gone and in your oldest brother's arms.

"Set her on the table." Tim snapped gloves on his hands. "Just a few tests, sis."

The cold metal didn't matter against your clothed skin. Nervous filled your body when you casted glances at the syringes and various sharp things.

"Just to check your body and make sure it's going well. Normally we'd have Leslie do it but you know." You're father's hand patted your back. Never moving away just as Dick did.

He in question never stopping his smile. His eyes feeling dark as they watched Tim come over with a tray.

"You're white streak. It's from when you kissed your boyfriend?" Tim asked. Underneath his voice you detected a lace of protectiveness.

"Tim."

"I know i know."

"You too, Dick."

The oldest son simply smiled. "Nothing Alfred wouldn't approve of. And is he really her boyfriend anymore?" He crossed his arms against his chest. A brow raised.

Bruce's sigh was accepted as an answer.

Tim ignored them. His eyes looking at you for the answer. You simply nodded. Trying to repress all these emotions in you. Just how your body wanted to jolt at the touch of Tim's hand at your hair.

"If you don't mind." Tim simply some of your hair. Then he came with the syringe. "Just for science and all that. You're power is very peculiar. Perhaps even come up with something that'll make it so you can touch normally."

Your heart rumbled deep inside your chest. A desire for that to become true.

"Could you and B really make something like that?" Dick questioned. His hand wrapping around yours just as Bruce's hands grasped your shoulders.

You were shaking as the needle went into your skin. Takind away your blood and into it.

"Possibly." Tim responded.

Bruce following, "With making sure of how it affects [ ] we can maybe make something. Only us. This can't get out you both." You're father's voice felt just as dark.

You shivered as Dick and Bruce removed their hands from you. A wish for them to hold your hands and touch your shoulders was deeply upsetting.

So weak was what you were.

Folding to your families need. A need to show you affection despite your many wishes. The wishes to be let go and for them to stop enforcing touch on you. An affection that you wanted but you needed to refuse.

You would end up killing them one day.

You could see it clear as day, and maybe they knew.

If they knew then they ignored it's possibility.

Tim and Bruce took record of your body. Checking your bones with an x-ray. Luckily the dress not being do much so you didn't need to remove any clothing.

"So how did you feel kissing the guy? I saw the footage." Tim questioned.

You felt stuck in your throat. "Like I couldn't pull away..."

"Yes?" Dick held your hand too tight.

You were sweating beneath your clothes. "Like a rush of energy I've never felt before. Like I felt stronger than before. It took everything in me to pull away."

You shivered remembering how he looked. "He was avoid of color and I was scared that he...he- he." You scrambled to stop yourself from crying.

"Oh baby it's okay." Bruce hugged you. Horribly, you melted into the hug. "You didn't kill him, and the boy, apart from others is still seeing you like the angel you are." His hands rubbing your shoulders. "No need to cry, baby girl."

"B is right! You have no need to worry now. You get to stay home and protected from them all who want to use and hurt you." It was scary on how much Dick didn't hold back. His contempt for everyone outside of the manor was prevalent. His constraint for your, if your honest, ex boyfriend, it was was still strained.

His possessiveness was as an older brother as it was it protectiveness. The weird obsession with and too keep you safe. The guilt eating away at him as you suspected.

"I see. With a sudden rush of energy going through you." Tim pulled at your hair, the white streak without a care. Not bothering to ask for permission or anything. There was no point as you realized the longer this all went on. "You were connected with him for a long period of time. It caused this to happen."

He looked at you. That creepy expression back on his face. "How fascinating [ ]. You are truly a wonderous being. A curiosity." His fingers grazed your face.

Settling for a second. His bare skin against your his naked palm.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!-"

You pulled yourself away from Tim's touch. Deeper into your father's embrace. A scolding "Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne" followed.

Dick stood tall. "You scared her. I thought we agreed..."

Tears were already flowing down your eyes. Bruce was still holding you tight before you got a chance to run away.

"Don't run away from me baby." He made sure no sense of bare skin touched your bare skin. That being your face only and held you against his clothed chest.

Subtle play with your hair, and anything trinkets that Stephanie put in your hair. "No need to cry. I can't lose you again. You can't run away from me, from us."

You couldn't deny the touch. You simply fell into the body of the beast. Bruce's body feeling like clouds. Fingers dancing on your head like dancers. His soft and fatherly affection being everything you've wished for.

"Say you're sorry." Dick demanded. Hands on his hips like a classic older brother. A scolding expression on his face as he watched Tim walk close to you.

"I'm sorry [ ]." He grabbed your gloved hands. That creepy look in his eyes was gone. Genunine emotions showing in those blue eyes of his. "I wanted to know what it felt like. Forgive me." He bowed his head.

Bruce grunted in approval.

"I'll ask next time? It'll be okay then?" Tim asked. That scary look back loud and clear. Never trying to hide it.

Despite it all you nodded. Forever abiding to the families will and wanted. Not that you wanted to leave.

Not to leave the warm clouds that was your father's affection. Softness that wasn't granted to you. Tim's own eyes, despite the darkness, they held softness for you.

For he loved you, as the rest of them did.

Could you deny the want to be around them all?

Another movie, E.T blaring on the screen. The entire family camping in the living room. Despite all protests that you were tired Damian didn't relent.

None of them did.

Damian uncomfortably close. Your father beside with Cassandra holding your hand that was on Damain's side.

The rest of them close as well. Duke, back from dayshift. The family altering to Gotham's other vigilantes they were having a family day, seen as mourning you.

To the public you had yet to be found.

Duke holding your gloved hand. His face close to your naked face. Surveying over your hair and it's white streak. A soft whisper of his came over you,

"I'm sorry. You know that?"

You could only stare him. Shaken and afraid of him, and the eyes of your other siblings glaring. Duke didn't care, and above all he relished in it. His dark eyes gleaming down at Damian.

Bruce seemed to pay no mind to it. He slept peacefully, and Alfred was pushed to retire for bed.

"Really. You're the same as me. Just as clueless as me, and I ignored you. We all do. I promise you that, [ ]."

A growl from Damian followed.

Duke hugged you. The ghost of Tim's previous actions echoing softly on your skin. Avoiding your face completely. His entire body covered, thank the gods, and his chin on the top of your head.

"Thank you for coming home."

Damian's embrace got tighter. A light noise from him accompanying Duke's soft hitch of breath. As if he was trying not to cry.

"You love us? Please tell me you do? Even after all we've done?" Duke pleaded into your ear.

Sickness followed. The two didn't let you go. The haunting eyes of others, and your father's peaceful snores. You're father being a haunted man, and above all, was tortured by his previous actions.

Once again pushing away one of his children.

You always craved siblings, and you had tons of them. They were reaching out, but it was horrible. They didn't let you leave.

Content with keeping you for themselves. Forever to be in this house and protected until the public forgot about you, and if they didn't you were sure the Bats would make sure they would.

You swallowed and gulped.

In all your years of living you hadn't experienced stress like this. However, Duke was right. You loved them, and that was why you tried so hard to leave.

Even after Tim's actions and everyone following after you still loved them. You could have hurt them.

Tim and Bruce could cure you of this horrible affliction despite the isolation. The world hated you, and your boyfriend was no doubt afraid of you.

You're family loved you despite the danger.

Subtly, "Yes. I do love you guys." The softness of Duke's eyes hurt your heart. A deep setting ache in your stomach as Damian snuggled into your stomach.

A faint sigh of relief from Tim bit of the way. Stephanie and Dick's laughter feeling like whispers of the damned. Taunting you, but they were sick and toxic. Sweet like sugar.

"Glad to hear that." Duke whispered once again. Never letting go of your hand as he pulled away. Attention never really ever going back to the movie.

Worry still in those eyes of his. Duke above all, the most innocent in his behavior. You squeezed back, and he smiled.

The alien, E.T, he was delighted in the experience of Elliot and his siblings. Welcoming him greatly. A great love and friendship was what you grappled for.

It was wrong. This was all wrong but despite it all you couldn't deny this is what you wanted.

Jason was right. In part, if you hadn't ran away like you had them maybe you're family wouldn't be subjected to the burden of hiding you.

However, you got the love you wanted despite it all. Even if the horrid touches were close to your skin. You hated hit but wanted the affection that was once given only by your mother.

For now, perhaps, you'd let it stay like this for now.

˖꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷

For those who asked to be tagged

@krys0210

@lovebug-apple , @invinciblewaffles , @that-daughter-of-nyx ,@hearts4mica ,

[ilsanslut]

꒷♡꒷ TREAT YOU BETTER!

♰ featuring: sae itoshi + rin itoshi (mentioned) [blue lock]

♰ note: this one is a DOOSY and i'm not even kidding when i say it took me 9 hours and 45 minutes to complete this, over the course of two days of course. However, as my first time ever writing on tumblr, i decided to go all out! that being said, it would mean a lot to me if you would support this work by reading, liking, and reblogging!

sypnosis: why be with his lukewarm little brother when you could be with him instead? wc: 6.6k content/trigger warning(s): 18+. fem/fem-bodied reader. POST BLUE LOCK. sibling rivalry. implied thick/chubby!reader. sae is mean. jealous!sae. bully!sae. rin is 19. sae is 21. CHEATING. degradation. unprotected sex. fingering. squirting. rough sex. DUBIOUS CONTENT. spanking. dacryphilia. slut shaming. groping. implied size kink. minor angst. hair pulling. ONE face slap. pussy slapping.꒷꒦ view the second part here: part two.

Coming home for the holidays, birthdays, or other special occasions is somewhat of a family tradition that enables people to slow down and focus on spending quality time with loved ones. These kinds of celebrations give families that may otherwise be estranged from one another due to work or geography the chance to reunite and enjoy each other's company. And this reasoning was no different in the Itoshi household. What was the occasion for this month’s gathering? Well, it was Mama Itoshi’s birthday, of course!

You see, you have known Rin and Sae Itoshi since you were all very young. Your mothers were best friends, and by default, that meant that you three would become close as well.

Growing up with the Itoshi brothers, on the other hand, was . . . interesting, to say the least. Where Rin found your presence to be refreshing, Sae found you to be a nuisance. You didn’t care for football; you got in the way of his practice; and you were a girl. He always thought you were too weak to play with, and he didn’t hesitate to make his feelings known to you. Pulling your hair until you screamed, pushing you around when you weren’t even in his way, and calling you mean names until your little E/C eyes welded up with fat tears were just some of the things he would do to torment you. Had it not been for little Rinnie stepping in and protecting you from his brother’s outright bullying, Sae most likely would’ve continued until you cried to your mom about how mean Sae-chan was to you. But you would never do that. Your little crush on him would never allow you to get him into trouble.

Nii-chan! Don’t be too mean to Y/N. You’ll make her inner crybaby come out!

When Sae was especially cruel to you, Rin was always there to lift your spirits. He would tell you not to worry about his "meanie Nii-chan," take your hand and wipe your tears and snotty face, and lead you up to his room where you two could watch movies and play action figures away from his brother's taunts. Even if he could not take you away right away, for instance, if you three were at the park, he would always come and ride the swings or the big slides with you just to make you happy. Despite Sae’s every protest about how you were nothing more than a distraction to him, Rin, and football, you knew that your friendship was sincere and unbreakable.

As you three went through the ups and downs of childhood, you also weathered the storms of adolescence together. Sae left for Madrid, leaving you, Rin, and your previous feelings for his older brother behind to navigate the social awkwardness of junior high and share in each other's accomplishments while he was with his football team and you were at your respective clubs. Your friendship was a source of strength during those formative years, providing solace and understanding when the world seemed confusing.

As you two approached your high school years, something began to change. Accidental touches felt more like fleeting sparks, while innocent glances became lingering stares. Neither of you fully comprehended your newfound feelings, tiptoeing around the unsaid emotions that seemed to glimmer between the two of you until the day Rin asked you to be his just before entering Blue Lock. Now, for the past three years, you have been a happy couple, embarking on the dreaded hell of adulthood and the next chapter of your lives hand-in-hand.

Back in the present, the two of you were glad that Rin finally had some downtime from soccer—well . . . more so you than him. Even after the events of Blue Lock, he and Sae remained rivals, seizing any opportunity they could to humiliate each other on the field. That being said, Rin was almost always in the gym, meditating, doing yoga, or practicing his skills to pass the time. It was nice to be able to spend time together without the stress of his next upcoming game or press conference.

Because it was his mother's birthday weekend and all, she would, of course, invite her boys to come to stay with her and their father for the occasion, which included you too since you were Rin’s girlfriend. However, in the few days that you and Rin have already been at his childhood home, Sae had yet to arrive, and no one had heard from him since he texted his mother that he was on his way to the airport to depart. Regardless, the family was busy finalizing plans for their mother's big day. Mr. Itoshi was at the bakery finalizing the details for his wife's cake, Mrs. Itoshi was out for brunch with your mother, and Rin had gone for an afternoon jog because "staying cooped up all day will turn him into a lukewarm lard ass," in his words. As for you? You had just begun to rise, completing some housework in one of Rin’s old jerseys and washing the dishes on which you and Rin had just eaten a delicious breakfast.

After completing your tasks, you made your way back up the lavish stairs of their home with every intention of going back into Rin’s childhood room that you two were sharing for the weekend when you froze. Your gaze traveled to the opposite end of the hallway, to the closed door whose presence loomed in the distance—Sae’s room.

Memories from your childhood flashed back to you, of you watching him and Rin play all too violent and scary zombie video games, rewatching his matches, and, most begrudgingly, the numerous times he nudged your head with his foot and tousled your perfectly styled hair just to get a rise out of you.

Cringing internally at the past memories, you took a further step in the direction of Rin's room before hesitating once more.

It wouldn’t hurt to take a little peek inside Sae’s room, would it?

Despite your better judgment, you shuffled over the closed door and paused with your slender digits loosely encircling the handle. Your stomach churned and your heart thumped in your chest as your inner voice warned you not to enter another person's private space without their consent. But hold on—why were you getting anxious? Who was going to catch you when no one was at home? Turning the knob gently, the heavy oak door would give way with the tiniest of creaks, revealing a rather uninteresting-looking room. But given that Sae had rarely if ever, been home since junior high, it only made sense for it to be so plain. Aside from the plethora of trophies, medals, certificates, and framed photos that lined his dresser, what made it even more amusing was that those were only the leftovers from what could not fit in his trophy case beside his wooden dresser, which housed some of his youth team jerseys and junior trinkets.

You crept further into the cold room, wrapping your arms around yourself, and shuffled over to the plethora of awards from Sae's tireless efforts. As much as you weren’t fond of him, you had to admit that it was beyond admirable that a child was able to accomplish so much in so little time. He possessed a natural talent that professionals would kill for and others were envious of. Even though you were never interested in the sport, you envied him for being so naturally gifted at something he was passionate about.

“Some ‘monster genius’, huh?” You scoffed to yourself as your gaze fell on the last photo of Sae and Rin playing on the same team together before their relationship fell apart. Oh, how you miss those good old days of your youth.

“The fuck are you doing in here?”

Coming from behind you, an all too familiar voice startled you out of your reverie. Turning around, your wide eyes came to rest on Sae's form, which was motionless in the doorway, his stoic visage forever unamused, and his overnight shoulder bag resting by his feet.

When did he come in?

More notably, he’s . . . changed from the last time you’ve seen him since the U-20 vs. Blue Lock game three years ago. He was a bit taller, probably around 6’2” now. Because he was wearing a long-sleeved white compression shirt and gray sweatpants, you were able to see that his muscles were more defined than before, with every ridge and curve pronounced more vividly. His maroon locks had grown a bit longer, with his fringes now reaching slightly beyond his chiseled, clenched jaw, though his bangs remained forever lopsided and flipped back. And his turquoise eyes—had they gotten even sharper since the last time you'd seen them? The way they were glowering down at you, it was almost as though they were piercing right through your very soul.

“You deaf or something, you half-brained moron?”

Your eyes rolled exasperatedly into the back of your head as he rudely interrupted your thoughts. Only ten seconds after you reconnected, here he was spewing insults your way.

“Nice to see you too, Sae.” You grumbled sarcastically, internally dreading what this weekend would hold in store for the both of you.

In response, he hummed, remaining motionless in the doorway as his teal eyes bore into you with something unknown. The truth is, while you were distracted by his physical appearance, he was ogling you in the same manner. You had grown since the last time he’d seen you when you were back in high school. Your once innocent eyes now had a glint in them that could only be described as nubile; your once round cheeks had slimmed a bit to fit your maturing features; and your body . . . Damn, have you really grown over the years. You had developed a more feminine frame, with fuller thighs, widened hips, larger breasts, and a more prominent ass. You had developed into a truly breathtaking young woman, despite how much he hated to admit it.

“Almost thought you weren’t going to show at all.” You sighed, lazily checking your nails. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“I live here.” His voice was deadpan and monotone, yet it held an underlying hint of irritation. “All these years have passed since grade school, and you’re still as braindead as when you were a child.”

“And you’re just as much of an asshole as you used to be.”

You resisted the urge to sneer, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he was getting under your skin, as you dropped your arms to your sides. When you made this motion, his brows would furrow, and he would cast a scrutinizing glare at your choice of clothing.

Talking to him was futile, and you did not want to be in this room any longer than necessary now that he was there. “Good to have you home, genius.” You spat sarcastically, attempting to push past him to exit the room, when all of a sudden his large hand would seize your bicep, halting your steps.

Your head snapped to him, your gaze a mixture of frustration and confusion as your lips parted to shout a rebuttal his way; however, upon seeing the blazing fire that had ignited in his eyes, you hesitated. His eyes narrowed to thin slits, like two fiery coals burning fiercely within his sockets. The intensity of his gaze was enough to send shivers down your spine, making you acutely aware of the gravity of his sudden wrath. His jaw clenched tightly, showing the strain of controlling his rage, and his brows furrowed, forming a menacing V-shape above his oculars.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” He seethed through clenched teeth, his voice deep and full of poorly contained malice.

You blinked. Your jaw dropped as you gawked at him, beyond perplexed. He had caught you so off guard that even you had to check what you were wearing to make sure you were not wearing anything objectionable. Nothing worth offending—fuzzy black pajama shorts that hugged your plush thighs, plain slippers, Rin's worn-out football jersey.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you coy little slut.”

That silenced you effectively. Your eyes enlarged—almost lamblike—and your pretty lips drew in a subtle gasp. Any previous spark that had been ignited within you had quickly diminished, choosing silence over tossing more gasoline onto Sae’s roaring flames.

It appeared as though his entire being was directing his wrath into his single, piercing gaze as every muscle in his face tightened with each passing second. His lips, which are typically flat or curved into an unamused frown, were now deep-set, corners tugging into an awful scowl.

“Why are you wearing that lukewarm loser’s jersey?” When you should be wearing mine?

Now it was your turn to be infuriated as he insulted your boyfriend—his brother—the same person he had thrown out like garbage all those years earlier. Your heart was pounding so loudly in your chest that you could hear your blood pumping in your ears.

“So I’m not allowed to wear my own boyfriend’s jersey now, fuckface?” His gaze faltered. “You going to call me names for that too, Sae? Pull my hair? Spit in my face? Huh?”

“*What did you just say?”

“I said are you going to—”

“No, you cow-titted bimbo. The first thing you said.” He leaned in closer to your face, his eyes owlish and unblinking since you opened your mouth. You could smell his minty breath from the gum he had been chewing wafting into your face, “Say it again.”

“I’m not allowed to wear my boyfriend’s jersey?” You repeated, confusion etching your tone.

“That.” He snarled, his voice elated in a sick way, as though he had just found out the answer to some legendary riddle.

The hand that had been gripping your bicep now violently jerked you to the side, shoving you into his door. Before you had time to react, he crowded your personal space as his forearm pressed against the wood above your head, allowing you to smell the faint scent of his expensive cologne. “When did that happen?”

The initial fire that fueled his rage now transformed into a different kind of heat, a simmering and bitter envy that gnawed at his insides. He found himself grappling with conflicting emotions - on the one hand, he was somewhat happy that his blockhead of a brother managed to get a girlfriend, but on the other hand, it was you. The same girl that he had been pining over since you were first introduced to him all those years ago. The same girl that he thought was prettiest when she pouted at him with fat tears in her eyes and pleaded with him to be nicer to her. The same girl that consumed his thoughts 24/7. The same girl that he jerked his cock to at night after seeing how her fat tits in that all too small jersey bounced every time she cheered for his brother at that stupid game against Blue Lock. The same girl that, on all of those lonely nights overseas, he wished that, instead of fucking his fist, he was pummeling himself deep in your sopping wet cunt. The same girl that he was about to ruin before his brother got home from his whereabouts.

“Before Blue Lock . . .” Your voice was hushed, barely above a whisper, as though you were afraid of awakening a savage beast.

Three years. Three fucking years, and no one told him?! Not his mother, not his father, not Rin, not your stupid little social media (that he may or may not have been stalking) where you posted pictures of cats, candid photos of your friends, or whatever the fuck you got at your local coffee shop that day—not even you.

His once-obvious fury and visceral expression subsided, simmering beneath the surface in a contained inferno that burned with a ferocity few could fathom. Despite the turmoil raging inside him, he remained eerily calm, his stoic facade masking the storm within.

His demeanor exuded a cold, steely resolve that sent shivers down your spine and, quite frankly, took your breath away. There was an ominous sense of stillness in his presence, as if the air itself dared not disturb the calmness he projected.

“. . . Do you love him?” He spoke in hushed tones, each word enunciated with precision and purpose. There was no need for loud outbursts; the intensity of his calmness alone was enough to make you cower beneath him.

You were dumbfounded by his question, powerless to respond, and yet the longer you remained silent, the more you could see the cracks in his facade begin to scorch through his surface.

“D-Don’t be stupid, Sae. Of course I do, he’s my—”

You would never be able to finish your statement quick enough before his hands were on you, meaty palms digging into your hair, blunt nails scratching against your scalp as he grabbed a visceral hold onto your roots. The searing pain and astonishment coursing through your frame had you shrieking—in what? You didn’t know. Fear? Agony? Guilt?

Using his grip on you as a lead, he would tug you forcefully out of your slippers and down the hall to somewhere unknown. He ignored your screams as the weight atop your head forced your sight to the ground, your manicured nails digging into his wrist and clawing in an attempt to be freed.

“S-Sae, I-I’m sorry! Please, let me go! You’re hurting me!”

He said nothing, his heavy and deliberate footsteps speaking for him before he paused a short distance later. He threw you forward carelessly with surprising strength, causing you to land painfully on the wooden floors in front of you, barely having time to brace yourself with your palms. You had no time to catch your breath, though, as he shuffled over to you with fast-paced footsteps. Looking up fretfully, you would see Sae towering over you, taking notice that you were now on the floor of Rin’s room just before his bed.

“Sae—”

“Sae! Sae! Don’t be stupid; I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He openly mocked you, his lip curled into the faintest of sneers as he glowered down at you in hatred. Although even you could see that there was a bit of hurt behind his cruel teal eyes, “All you do is flap those pretty fuckin’ lips of yours, never knowin’ when to shut your stupid little trap.”

He relished in the way your bottom lip trembled and your eyes grew glassy, the same way they used to all those years ago.

“Still a little crybaby too, I see. Don’t worry, baby, you’ll be sorry soon enough for leading me on all this time.” He grumbled, lunging for you again.

He snagged at your roots again, drawing a sob from your lips as he mercilessly dragged you to your feet. Releasing his grip on your hair, he instead chose to grab your jaw harshly in his palm, using his thumb and forefinger to squish your cheeks and pucker your lips so that he may smash his lips against your own. It was messy, sloppy, and full of passion and rage on Sae’s end. He smeared your gloss, claimed your brims, and forced his tongue into your pretty, pliant mouth, all with the intention of claiming you and your maw for his own—but you would never let him.

You belong to Rin! You were loyal to him! So then, why do Sae’s lips feel so damn good against your own right now? This was wrong. So, so wrong, and yet, why did you want more of him?

Your mind was cloudy. Your head was spinning. You couldn’t breathe. He was suffocating you. Your dainty fists beat at his beefy chest and shoulders, trying to get him to get off of you, but to no avail. Instead, he seized both of your wrists in the grasp of his other hand and squeezed painfully in a warning, forcing you to whine against his lips—a delightful sound that went straight to his hardening bulge that he shamelessly pressed against you, grinding sinfully against your hips.

When he finally pulled away from you, you clearly appeared dazed. Your eyes were half-lidded and glassy, yet you were silently pleading for him to give you more. Your plump lips had swollen from his being pressed so forcefully against your own, and a singular strand of saliva still connected your lips to his own—one which he would sinfully lick away with a salacious swipe of his tongue.

The hand he used to grab your face gently shook your head back and forth, his sadistic turquoise hues savoring your already fucked-out expression. “There’s the greedy bitch I know and love. Finally decided to show yourself, huh? What? You want more, hm? What about your little boyfriend, princess?”

“R-Rin . . . I love, Ri—” You were cut off when Sae’s expression flared, his hand releasing your face for naught but seconds before connecting with your cheek in a hard slap. You squealed from the impact, your head whipping to the side in shock, but you could not help but feel strangely aroused by the contact. He grabbed your cheeks in his palm once more and tightened his hold on your face, bringing you closer to him until you were nose to nose.

“Don’t lie to me, you little minx.” He snarled as he cut his eyes at you. “You don’t think I’ve noticed the way you’ve been looking at me after all these years, like you wanted me? Or that I haven’t overheard your stupid little conversations about how dreamy you think I am to your friends, huh? Or how about now, when you swear up and down that you love my loser little brother, when here you are already going stupid on me when I’ve barely even touched you?”

You clenched your eyes shut as hot, guilty tears rushed behind your lids. He’s right. You've wanted him—always have—but it was too late now. You were with Rin, and he was the love of your life. You could not possibly change that, could you?

“Just say it, Y/N.” He chided, his voice softer than it was before, yet it still held it’s cold, irritated undertone. “Say you want me, and I’ll make you feel better than that lukewarm little shit ever has.” He released your face and smoothed his thick digits over the top of your head, stopping only when he could rest his fingers beneath your chin and tilt your head to look up at him. Your gaze focused on him once more.

“ . . . I want you, Sae. B-But Rin . . . ”

Sae hushed you again, pressing his lips against yours. How badly he wanted that name to never again be uttered by your lovely tongue. When Sae pulled away again, there was the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“We’ll be quick, okay?” A lie. He was going to take his time fucking his brother’s name out of your memory. “He’ll never suspect a thing.”

Your apprehension was palpable, but ultimately you would succumb to sin and let desire and greed rule over logic and reason. You nodded, giving him the nonverbal go-ahead to stomp on the accelerator and never let up.

“Good girl.” He praised you, both hands abandoning your face to now grip at the collar of your shirt. In one swift motion, he ripped Rin’s jersey clean off of you from down the middle. “About time we got that shit off of you. The sight of it was makin’ me sick.” He spat as he tossed the tattered fabric over his shoulder.

You were not wearing a bra, so the violent motion had your breasts bouncing free after being momentarily released from their confines, allowing them to slap softly against the flesh of your rib cage—much to Sae’s viewing pleasure. You grew sheepish as he seemed to freeze, staring so brazenly at your bare breasts that you began to feel a bit self-conscious. Was something wrong? Did he not like them? Was he expecting more? Less?

In reality, the answer was none of the above. The midfielder swore under his breath as he shoved you back onto Rin's cozy comforter. He hastily climbed on top of you and used his body weight to pin you against the bed as his lustful hands began to grope and knead at your supple flesh, eliciting precious mewls with each delightful squeeze. His lips would latch onto one of your breasts as he dipped his head downward; the thumb and forefinger of his free hand would play with the other, teasing your nipples. His sharp teeth bit greedily over the delicate areola as his tongue flicked and laved over the hardening buds. The stimulation only served to heighten your arousal, as evidenced by the way you wailed his name like a sweet song meant only for his ears and how your thighs squeezed together from your excitement drooling from your folds.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Sae, who was busy alternating between pleasuring both of your breasts and growling under his breath, “Lewd fuckin’ body. S’all mine . . .” When he pulled away, there were visible marks left in his wake—light red splotches and indentations of hungry teeth imprinted on your skin.

He reached for the hem of his compression shirt and lifted it above his head, tossing it off to the side as he sat above you, staring lustfully down at you. He would manhandle you further after sliding off of your body. He pulled your shorts down in one motion, grabbed your thick thighs by the backs of your knees, and pushed them up towards your breasts. When he did, he couldn’t help but whistle, admiring how your puffy folds clung together and your inner thighs remained sticky from your translucent arousal.

“Has he ever made you wet like this?” Sae inquired, leering at you from between your thighs like a hungry lion with it’s eyes set predatorily on a helpless gazelle, to which your gaze would quickly avert. You and Rin had such a strong emotional bond that you never felt the need for frequent sex between you two. There were a few times, though, when Rin would fuck you after a winning game in a way that made you see stars, but those were always very far apart.

Your silence was all Sae needed for his answer. He crept back up onto you, chuckling sardonically as he held your thigh up with one hand, using his body to keep your other spread apart. He wanted to see all of your pretty expressions up close and personal when he ravished you. Swiping two of his fingers between your folds, the sudden motion caused your hips to jerk into his touch and you to keen with need.

Slowly, he inserted a single digit inside of you, hissing at how your walls selfishly gripped his fingers and eagerly tried to devour more of him. “Loosen up, will you, greedy slut?” He slapped your thigh with his other hand as your back arched with pleasure. “This tight pussy will never be able to take my cock at this rate.”

You tried to loosen up, you really did, but there was something so delicious—so tantilizing—about his thick, calloused fingers caressing your velvety walls that made you crave more of him. He continued to thrust his single digit inside of you, his teal oculars peering into your own with such intensity that it forced you to look away.

“Stop that.” His hand that grabbed the back of your knee slithered along your outer thigh until he could grasp your chin and force you to look back at him. “Eyes on me.” He ordered, to which you would nod dumbly amidst your pleasured mewls.

You felt the delightful stretch of another of his thick fingers pressing into your sopping cunt, thrusting in tandem with his previous one, as he leaned closer to you and his lips just barely touched your own.

“S-Sae, mmph, more, please, please, touch me more.” You begged, bringing a sinful smirk to the midfielder’s lips.

Unexpectedly, he would comply with your requests, pressing the pad of his thumb against your throbbing clit and rubbing quick, pleasurable cricles with his fingers as he arduously sought out that sweet, sweet spot inside of you. You could not help but start sobbing his name, his thick fingers filling you to the brim even though he had yet to stuff his cock into you. Each time he curled upward inside of you, his impeccable skill had you gasping for reprieve.

It was nothing like Rin’s. His fingers were slightly thinner than his brother’s, but they were a tad longer too, able to reach the deepest spots within you without even trying. Sae's immense precision and experience, which allowed him to know exactly where your sweetest spots lay within you, made up for his lack of length.

“ . . . Are you seriously thinking about him right now?”

You were startled out of your reverie by his curious tone and thinly veiled anger. You tried to focus on his hardened features through your daze, but you couldn’t. The knot in your tummy tightened, and you felt an enormous wave of pleasure wash over you. Something big was coming, and you could feel it reverberating all throughout your core.

“He could never make you feel this good, could he? Never get this pretty cunt this wet for him, hm?” All throughout his monologue, you could hear the sinful squelching of your juices soaking his palm, dripping down his wrist, and splattering onto the floor. You were a mess beneath him. He would abuse that rough patch just along your upper walls until your toes clung to the sheets in ecstasy.

“M’sorry, m’sorry!” You mewled, breath coming out in short, high-pitched pants as you writhed under him, his pace increasing as he felt your walls fluttering around his fingers.

“Who’s making a mess of you right now? Huh? Speak up, princess; let me hear you say it.”

“—You, Sae! You, you, you! Hah, please, I-I can’t . . . ! I-I’m gonna—”

“Do it. Cum on my fuckin’ fingers. Make a mess for me, pretty.”

You did just that. Your body went rigid for naught but a second before your back was arched into him, and your head tossed itself back into the pillows as a chorus of unabashed wails of your release erupted from your pretty, drooling lips. Your release was immense—loud—as a gushing of juices from your pussy thoroughly drenched the sheets, Sae’s sweatpants, his abs, and his entire forearm.

You squirted. For him. For the first time ever.

It was uncharacteristic how an almost feral grin twisted on Sae’s lips, his fingers removing from your sopping cunt to place a few well-directed slaps on your far too sensitive and overstimulated pussy.

“Atta’ fuckin’ girl. Can’t believe my baby brother was keeping such a sweet little succubus all to himself—selfish bastard.”

You couldn’t even hear him; your chest was rising and falling heavily as tears of pleasure ran down your cheeks (and thighs).

“Hey, hey. You still with me?” His tone was soft, his typically impassive visage now meeting your own with furrowed eyebrows and a tinge of concern behind his bright hues.

You nodded—it was all you could muster at this moment, but it was good enough for Sae. He brought his soaking hand to your parted lips, lightly tapping the digits on your plump flesh in a silent command for you to clean him off. He chuckled. Your lithe tongue and eager brims slurped, licked, and sucked your mess off of his thick fingers that were now shoved down your throat without you even needing to be told what to do.

“You wanna do that again for me? On my cock this time, pretty?”

You were exhausted, your body already aching beneath him, but you still craved more from him. Another meek nod was given, your dazed eyes meeting his only to utter around his fingers, words garbled from his fingers on your tongue, “Wantha’ squirth’ awound ya cahwk.”

That was all Sae needed to hear as he stepped off of the bed, making quick work to discard his soaked sweatpants and boxers into the growing pile of clothes at the base of the bed. His large hands grabbed your soft hips, tugging you toward him with ease as he flipped you onto your hands and knees. He let out a growl, his hand raising to smack your plump ass once, then twice, on both of your cheeks before taking big, greedy handfuls of your flesh into his ravenous palms. This was undoubtedly already his favorite thing about you.

Standing by the edge of the bed, Sae placed your body horizontally across the mattress with your head facing the door. With a forceful push of your face down into the sheets, your view of the room instantly became obscured. You craned your neck back, peering at Sae from over the arch of your back as he grabbed one of your fat cheeks in one hand and used his other to line his cock up with your entrance. He slapped his heavy cock against your folds, his blossoming mushroom tip connecting with your throbbing clit making you both keen with ecstasy.

He couldn’t wait any more. He needed to be inside of you. He entered your drooling cunt with a single, calculated push, and your fluttering walls were already trying to devour more of him in response to the intrusion. Sae groaned as his hips met the flesh of your ass once he was buried to the hilt inside of you. His head lulled back as he dug his blunt nails into your flesh.

For the past three years, this—this right here is exactly what he had been craving, yearning over, and lusting for—and now he had it. He nearly came from the feeling inside of you alone, though; he’d be damned if he let the fun stop there.

A steady pace was quickly established by the midfielder's hips, and his long, deliberate strokes were deep enough to feel in your tummy and cause your toes to curl up in pleasure. Having had such a powerful orgasm not even minutes earlier, you were still fairly sensitive; however, that only made things all the more enjoyable.

“O-Oh my god, y-your cock, it’s t-too much, I-I can’t—”

“Don’t tell me you can’t, you cock-loving slut.” He snapped at you, cutting your pleas short with a sharp thrust of his hips. The rhythmic plapping of your ass against his pelvis resonated off the walls of the bedroom, lewdly ringing in your own ears. “This is everything I—we’ve—been wanting for years. Don’t tell me that now, all of a sudden—” He paused, groaning deeply through gritted teeth as you clenched around him. “—That this pretty pussy can’t take anymore when you’re gripping me so desperately.”

“B-But Sae, i-it feels too good! Like I’m . . . I’m gonna make a mess again!” You whined.

He thought it was adorable that even in the most deplorable and deprived of acts, you still attempted to hold some semblance of modesty. Oh, how you were both far past that.

If anything, that just fueled his aggression. He used your words as justification to pummel your poor pussy harder and faster, putting both of his hands on your hips and lower back and pressing his weight against you to force you into an almost painful arch as his pelvis slammed into your ass. Your vision went blurry from his unforgiving pace, and your throat went raw from your cries and screams of pleasure.

“Who’s making you feel this good, huh?” He grunted in between thrusts, a hand raising to land a furious smack on your ass that caused you to mewl and your tiny fists to grip the sheets.

“Y-You, Sae! You are! Ngh, plea—”

“And who’s cock do you like better, huh, princess? Me or that lukewarm fuckface’s?”

You hesitated, but only for a millisecond, as you felt the blunt head of his cock caressing your sweet spot, pummeling into you over and over as your thighs began to shake, growing unable to hold yourself up from the stimulation. His thrusts faltered as his cock twitched inside of you. You figured he was close too.

“Yours, y-yours! Your cock feels so good, I-I’m gonna cum again! I’m ngh gonna cum all over your f-fuck-ing cock!”

He let out an almost animalistic groan, something between a chuckle and a feral snarl, “Yeah, princess? You really mean it?” He moved one of his hands to your hair, threading his fingers through it without yet pulling, almost as if he were waiting for your response.

Your response was almost instantaneous, and the adorable chorus of incoherent babbles and cries of "yes, yes, yes" left your head spinning. You had the sensation that you might pass out completely.

Your head was abruptly yanked out of the pillows, and your gaze was once again forced upward. Your eyes, albeit blurry and glassy, caught sight of the all-too-familiar figure standing in the doorway. Sweat dribbling from his forehead while dressed in a white windbreaker and sweatpants to protect himself from the elements during his jog, stood the one person who filled you with dread.

Rin.

He was back.

As your eyes locked onto the all-too-memorable teal ones boring into your own, your moans ceased. The logic and reason that you had previously dismissed for giving into your desires came flooding back. Guilt, which had been gnawing at the pit of your stomach, reared it’s ugly head once more.

He caught you.

With his brother.

The realization of your actions, the feeling of knowing that you hurt someone you cared deeply about and promised your life to, left you reeling. The enormity of the situation left you speechless and unable to respond.

As the shock slowly gave way to the depths of your despair, tears welled up in your eyes, this time of anguish. Your ability to control your emotions ran out, and you began to sob, letting the tears run down your cheeks. Each tear that ran free was weighed down by guilt and regret.

All the while, Sae never stopped thrusting behind you. Almost as if he remained unfazed by his brother’s—your boyfriend’s—sudden appearance.

“R-Rin—”

“—Save it.”

His initial shock, disbelief, and hurt gradually gave way to something else. He was angry, searing with anger as malice began to rise within him, a blaze of fury that threatened to consume him. Though he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking at . . . Sae?

“You told me you would wait until I got back, Nii-chan.”

The air left your lungs.

. . . What?

Using the grip from your hair, Sae pulled you back into him, pressing your body flush against his own as he craned your neck back into an awkward angle, forcing your gaze to meet his own. A dark and unsettling satisfaction crept into his expression, the corner of his lips tugging into a smirk. His eyes sparkled with a perverse delight, reveling in the twisted pleasure he derived from your adorably bewildered and anguished expression.

Your breath hitched.

Your mind raced for answers.

Sae’s gaze lazily tore from your own and to Rin's, who still remained in the doorway, the forward’s eyes sinfully burning into the way your breasts bounced sinfully from each of Sae’s now slow, agonizing thrusts.

"You know, little brother, it is not too late to join in on the fun."

ⓒ vampiie 2023 — all rights reserved. please do not repost my work outside of tumblr, modify, or translate my work in any form/means. please do not share my work to tiktok or any other site.

if this gets enough attention, i may make a part two!

[nmr0709]

Lucid dreaming

Aka Caleb's standard myth

Spoilers:

First off- why did every myth not have a satisfactory ending?! Infold, you'll put every single girl in depression. I wasn't over Sylus's dragon myth and then this?

Onto main-

MC visits Skyhaven, for a mission with Farspace fleet .

Caleb is super smart. Hell, he'll give even Dr.Zayne a run for his money. Fucking sly fox this guy is.

He guesses her purpose, invites him over to his place.

Beautiful house. Beautiful place.

Long story short, he's nominated as a new Commander of Tuum fleet, with the previous commander and soldiers being placed under him. MC is there to investigate this and he gives her the files for clearance.

MC notices that things ain't adding up. People who were hostile, after medical examination are now docile. Before she can catch one person, Caleb comes in with food and tells her he has a meeting.

Caleb- knows MC better than she knows herself. And has planned down 20 steps ahead of her. Never give this man chess to play. He'll wreck everyone hands down.

Cue MC snooping around( again) and getting caught( again). Really girl? Really? Why the hell .... There's a reason you're on field and never in covert ops..but Pls Learn Subtlety

She manages to steal a chip and access his files before being revoked access and Caleb confronts her. Says either you be happy and stay out of this mess or I'll be dragged to HQ and questioned.

At this point- Caleb is shady af. Like so shady he makes Sylus pale in comparison.

Next up mega banquet to celebrate Caleb's promotion.

Caleb is attacked by the previously demoted colonel and company, he sends MC away to safety while he deals with them.

Guy has no qualms about manipulating her just so she can stay safe?! Like red flag but also green?

MC waiting for him realises she's been duped, and self implants a chip without him knowing.

The man that he is- goes to her- tells her she is his forever- and faints in her arms.

Guy is scary fine but absolutely down for her. Like yandere tendencies and controlling and possesive...gurl you down bad for him? It's toxic but...idk at this point. She enables him a lot ngl

Next- Caleb faints, has a seizure, and loses all his memories thanks to his chip

MC- she plays him and tells him he is hers. Gives no in lination of telling him anything about his lost memories. ( GURLL WHATT?!!)

They go to an amusement park- she faints thanks to her chip- turns out Caleb had all his memories and was playing her.

What in the 5D chess is this??!! Caleb my man. My amazing hunk of revived corpse and flesh. Wut. I'm shook. But very very impressed with your tactics ngl. Extremely well played.

MC is taken to infirmary to get her chip removed forcefully - she will lose her memories but will retain some recall of it.

cue her throwing a fit- refusing it- Caleb somehow convincing her ( slight gaslighting?)

She's done with him. Removes his tie and coat.

Those bite marks on his hand? Hers. Apparently he gives her his hand everytime she's sick so that she doesn't accidently bite her own tongue off. ( So sweet man but don't distract me)

MC is ultimately forced to have the chip removed. Has little recollection of ehatvexactly happened on Skyhaven. And goes back.

End note-

Infold I will curate every single myth and play it on loop till you cry.

Point is- amazing amazing portrayal of Caleb and backstory. Human experimentation for the ultimate weapon, Caleb being chosen and put through it( not all details revealed yet in myth) , him being forced to give up his emotions and humanity and yet, he never forgets MC.

Caleb is the walking red flag of LADS but.. idk even at this point. Guy's like the morally grey character with a solid backstory and reasoning for it. Can't wait for more.

To the fans thinking Sylus is a red flag? Brothers and sisters, compared to this Bucky Barnes inspired persona, he's a green forest.

More on analysis and emo dump later.

Toodaloo!! And thanks for reading this monster of a post.

[nagaytoe]

ULLAGONE

Solivan Brugmansia X Reader

TWs/tags: Sol x reader, Crowe dies, murder, drugging, grief, mentions of guilt

@5herryx here it is! :D

Disclaimer: This is my first oneshot fully written in english (english isn't my native language) and published, if you guys have any advice feel free to tell me :D

This oneshot was inspired by @kierandayern post ( https://www.tumblr.com/kierandayern/762316734455791616/bad-end-pt1-you-cannot-decide-whether-or-not?source=share / check out their art, its amazing! :3)

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Word count: 1,869

Ullagone

(Noun) [irish] 'a cry of sorrow'

This was not how you expected your evening to go.

Just an hour ago you were eating dinner with your boyfriend, Jericho Ichabod. It was your first date as an official couple and you two decided to do something fancy.

Now his lifeless body is laying at your feet.

As you stare down at it in shock, you remain frozen in fear, not knowing whether running would help you in this situation or not, considering someone with a knife in his hand is blocking your way.

“I can finally have you all to myself…”

You recognize that voice but fail to place it due to the stressful situation you're currently in and the mask he is wearing, covering the lower half of his face. The figure in front of you is tall and clad in all black. The darkness of the alley certainly is no help in distinguishing his features.

The figure steps closer to you and over Crowe's body, like he wasn't a living and breathing human being mere minutes ago, but rather a pile of trash, blocking the attackers' way to you.

You instinctively back away, with each step he takes forward you take one back, leading to you being backed into a corner.

“[____], please, don't be afraid.” He's careful in his approach, almost as if you're a scared bunny he's trying to pick up and comfort. His right hand extends forward in a calming gesture as he keeps it low, his palm facing downwards.

“Stay away!” you croak out and up until now, you didn't even notice the tears streaming down your face. Since when were you crying?

“[____]...” he stops in his tracks, looking at you. What was he thinking about? The easiest way to knock you out? The most gruesome way to kill you? The best way to kidnap you? Now that you think about it, how did he even know your name?

“Why can't you see that I did it for you? That lowly scum… if you knew who his father is…” his voice turns from comforting to aggressive in the blink of an eye. He takes a deep breath before he continues, this time in a softer voice “I'm just trying to protect you…is that so wrong?”

You look up at him, a mix of emotions evident on your face: Sadness, Fear, Anger and now confusion as well. He can't be serious, can he? There's no way he truly thinks that there is nothing wrong with killing innocent people just for the sake of 'protection’ , not that you needed any protection from Crowe to begin with.

“I know you're confused, maybe even scared, but I have my reasons, you know?” he says as he steps closer.

“Don’t come any closer!” You yell and press yourself against the wall behind you in a feeble attempt to create more space between the two of you for the time being, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“Hey…I would never harm you…” The man in front of you almost sounds vulnerable, hurt even. In the back of the alley there is a dimly lit wall lamp, but it provides enough light to enable you to make out some of his features. His vermillion eyes stare intensely at you and long, black hair with green highlights peeks out from underneath his hood and frames his face…

Realization hits you like a train, your knees giving out underneath you as you slouch against the wall, hands moving up to cover your mouth in shock. Even more tears stream down your face now. How is Sol Crowe's murderer? This can't be real, Sol was always so nice and helpful, he would never harm and especially not kill another person without reason.

“Sol?” You sob, hoping immensely he won't feel addressed.

“[____]...” he whispers and hooks a finger under his mask, pulling it down and revealing the rest of his face. Safe to say, this was not the answer you were hoping for. You were hoping that this was someone who looks similar to him or maybe that this all is a bad dream or a really bad joke, but it wasn't. Sol's face looked back at you with his all too familiar warm smile.

You sink to the ground and cover your face with your hands, crying your eyes out.

Sol steps closer and crouches down in front of you.

“Please understand, I didn't do this with the intention of hurting your feelings, it's just…. I couldn't sit around any longer and watch him take what's mine” he gently puts his left hand on the side of your right calf, slowly stroking up and down in a comforting manner, smile still evident on his face.

You pull your legs closer to your chest in a weak attempt to shake him off, but to no avail - his hand keeps its position on your calf.

“Get away from me”, you manage to croak out in between sobs. Sol frowns at that, “I know you're scared but please believe me when I tell you that I would never harm you. Unless, of course, you leave me no other choice” he declares this as if it's the most normal thing in the world one could state, as if it doesn't make you freak out internally, especially since he killed a man mere minutes prior.

“Go away!” You yell at him, but he seems unfazed, “You know i won't do that, pumpkin”

You look at him, not knowing what to do. Your eyes are red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears and lips swollen, but despite the situation you two are in, Sol still looks at you with the same affectionate expression he always has. Up until now, you failed to notice it, maybe it wasn't even there before, but there was something dark, something possessive, gleaming in his eyes while looking at you like that.

You are not sure whether to run away or not, but staying here isn't really an option either. Gathering all your strength and courage you push Sol away with as much force as possible and quickly get up. You attempt to start running but don't get far as Sol twists around to grab your ankle, causing you to fall to the ground. It seems as though Sol wasn't exactly pushed to the ground, but rather caught off-guard and thrown off balance a little, unfortunately for you.

“Where do you think you're going?” He sounds irritated now.

You turn on your side and try kicking him with your other leg, but to no avail. Sol is quick to grab your other leg as well, now holding onto both of your ankles while you awkwardly lay on your side.

“[____]...” he says your name in a growling, almost threatening, way as you look at him with wide, scared eyes. Perhaps you actually are like a bunny in this situation, you sure feel like one at least. A bunny which has been caught in a trap and now has to fight for its life.

Sol pulls you closer to him and starts crawling on top of you, placing one of his legs atop of yours to restrain you from fleeing. You thrash underneath him but it's no use, his weight presses your legs down and he grabs ahold of your wrists, effectively pinning you underneath him.

“Don't make this harder than it has to be, [____]” ,Sol growls out, visibly agitated.

You cry bitterly, overwhelmed with the situation. You must be dreaming, there's no other way, no other explanation. Sol, your best friend Solivan, would never kill another human being.

“Why?” You cry out in between sobs, barely audible.

“Why? You're asking me why I killed that low-life?” he leans in closer, studying your face intently.

“He took something from me. The one good thing in my life was taken from me and claimed by someone else, someone who doesn't deserve an angel such as yourself. Don't worry though, pumpkin, he won't be a bother any longer.”

Sol nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, muttering “Of course, if only you had chosen me over him right from the start it wouldn't have come this far… but it doesn't matter now anyways, it's just the two of us now, my dearest soulmate”

You can't seem to stop crying as you keep shaking your head. He was completely demented, Crowe is – was – an amazing person, a friend who always listened and comforted you whenever you needed it most and a loving boyfriend on top of that. He didn't deserve to die. Was it your fault? If only you hadn't been with him, if it wasn't for you he'd still be alive. Now his parents have to bury their son, his friends have to mourn the loss of their beloved friend, all because you were so utterly selfish. You had noticed Solivans interest in you, but chose to ignore it, you thought you were just imagining it, but it was as clear as day. Crowe was dead because of your negligence.

“Hey, no need to cry… I need you to calm down a little, alright? You're shaken up and freezing cold, we should get you home…”

Sol kisses away the tears running down your cheeks, causing you to move your head to the side. Sol frowns at that, moving both your wrists into his left hand and his right hand rising up to your left cheek, lovingly caressing it.

“Let me go…” you choke out amidst sobs, wiggling in his grasp, though this only causes the grip he has on your wrists to tighten.

“I love you. Do you understand that? I love you and won't ever leave you. I won't let you go, pumpkin, I'm here to protect you.”

Sol removes his hand from your cheek and reaches into his back pocket.

“If you refuse to acknowledge that then I will have to make you understand. But don't worry, we have more than enough time for that.”

He pulls out a small syringe, filled with some liquid. You struggle even more in his grasp, eyes blown wide.

“Sol, no no no, please, please don't do this. You… You're my best friend, please don't hurt me, Sol…” you cry out, scared to death. Will this kill you? At least it would be a painless death and you'd be reunited with your star-crossed lover yet again. Though something inside of you tells you that he won't release you from this situation any time in the near future.

Sol's face softens as he studies your scared face. “Shh, no need to be scared, pumpkin. All this will do is calm you down and make you sleep for some time. Remember, I won't cause you any harm, all you need to do is stay still”

He inserts the needle in the side of your neck and pushes down on the plunger, the contents of the syringe injected into your muscle. You grow dizzy rather quickly, your attempts at fighting growing weaker until they cease altogether and your body grows limp. The last thing you take note of is Sol kissing your forehead and whispering something incoherent before your world fades to black.

[mystxmomo]

HI im getting into vhaeraun so, tasks and Situations permitting, im gonna see if I can shoot you some questions to learn more about his scrunkly ass 👉👈

so! what, in your opinion, are vhaerauns most PROMINENT traits (ie whats most obvious in how he acts+interacts) and what are vhaerauns most IMPORTANT traits (core defining aspects that influence his decisions+behaviors and how he approaches relationships)?

often times theres overlap there, but i get the impression vhaeraun keeps a lot close to his chest. and as a bonus followup: are there any differences with those two between Vhaeraun-as-Person and Vhaeraun-as-Deity

hope this ask is fun!! ouo)7

Thank you for enabling me. Gladly.

Post write-up edit: Sorry ahead of time. This ended up being Very, very long. 6k words... a lot of it is transcription from the novels and guidebooks though. If you want the TL;DR of my thoughts I summarize everything at the end, but all the dirty details are in the middle.

Also late edit: Thank @abracadav-r for digging up a lot of these screenshots while I went crazy on the write up. They were a MASSIVE help getting all the information I needed to cite in order.

Okay so. Three things right off the bat before I get into this.

This is something that I feel like goes without saying when I talk about these things, but I always feel the need to add a disclaimer on just in case one of these posts escape containment. A lot of these thoughts are going to be conclusions that I have come to about this character based on the evidence we're given canonically. Given that it's my opinion, I don't want to imply that it's the only way to interpret this character and in fact I think the charm of DND and the various characters within it is that they're little tools you can use to best shape the narrative you're trying to tell.

As such, I'm going to be trying to make it clear when something is "This is a presumption I have made based on evidence." And "This is just plain-spoken canon" and generally speaking, I will try and cite directly what I've pulled from.

Now. Related to that first point. I'm going to be pulling from Evermeet: Island of Elves the novel. The thing about Evermeet is that the way it's presented is as an optional mythos for the elves. As in, in universe, it is told from the perspective of someone passing down an oral tradition. It is a biased origin myth written by the victors.

Now. The reason I personally like Evermeet, despite having some qualms with the metatextual framework of it (which I will get into in depth when it pops up but tldr; There's a lot of victim blaming and the author does not seem aware that she wrote an abuse victim. It was the late 90's of course familial abuse against men isn't treated seriously) is that I'm of the personal belief that the Elf and Drow mythos, when existing in conversation with one another, is best interpreted as a story about familial abuse through the largescale framework of the divine. This is my personal agenda and my bias, and something that Evermeet is great for giving me evidence of! But, still worth establishing that this is a novel that you don't have to take as canon.

Final point before our read-more, because this is getting dangerously long as is. Because of how things are framed within the stories we're given, I do I feel like it's very important to pull up the context itself and not just go off the wiki. The example I will use for this is that on Vhaeraun's wiki page, there is a quote from him that out of context makes it sound like he's choosing not to help one of his follower because the follower hasn't impressed him well enough

“You lack the skill.” — Vhaeraun to Malvag when asked, "Why won't you help me?"

However, in context it becomes (in my opinion) very clear that Vhaeraun isn't helping him because he sincerely thinks that the guy can't do it. Like it would be dangerous for him to try. I'm under the impression in context that he's not denying him because he thinks he doesn't deserve it, he's denying him because he sincerely lacks the skill to use that help properly. And I think that is an important place to actually start our larger character analysis.

Vhaeraun watched. Malvag could feel the god's presence just over his shoulder. He whispered yet another prayer, one that would allow him to touch the god's omniscience. "I need him," he pleaded. "Why won't you help me?" The answer was a whisper only Malvag could hear. You lack the skill. Malvag rocked back on his heels. stunned. That was it [...]

So I'm bad at keeping things into categories. So we're going to start with what I think are Vhaerauns most important traits, and then go into his most prominent ones, because I feel like the important traits color the prominent ones, but like you said I think that kind of meshes with who he is as a person and why he behaves like he does. I'm going to try and narrow it down as I go, but if some of this seems a bit scattered at times. [mumbling noises] don't worry about it.

So that in mind. Insane thing to start with, but the biggest thing I would argue for with Vhaeraun is that he is best painted as a victim of abuse. And this isn't implication. If you take Evermeet at face value and how he interacts with Lolth in the beginning chapters, this is plain text.

(This is going to be the longest section because I have a lot to say on this both in how it's portrayed on a media analysis level and in a "What this means for his character" level, so I apologize in advance)

"Sehanine!" shrieked the dark goddess. She rose and rounded on her son, who'd been standing at her shoulder like a hovering raven awaiting a chance to feed. Vhaeraun took an instinctive step backward. "You idiot!" she screamed her face contorted with rage [...]

"And he is your lord husband. If there is a difference, please explain it to me. Otherwise, we will say that I am your son and leave the matter as settled," Vhaeraun said. His words were blunt and the implications harsh; instinctively he braced himself for another display of his mother's ready temper. To his surprise she laughed delightedly "You are my

[...] "And then what?" he countered in a tone that approximated his mother's sneer. "How can you hope to rule, with a goddess of Sehanine's power to oppose you? You should kill her now, when she is still helpless." Araushnee's hand flashed forward and dealt a ringing slap to her son's face. "Do not presume to question me," she said in a voice that bubbled with rage. "If you are so ignorant that you believe one god can easily kill another, perhaps I was wrong to make you my confidante and partner!" "But what of Herne?" pressed Vhaeraun, eager to salvage something of his dignity even it that only meant winning some small point of argument. "You told me that Malar killed him. And for that matter, why would you set Gruumsh and Malar against Corellon, if neither had hope of success?" "Don't be more of a fool than you must," snapped the goddess. "It is one thing to destroy a god from another place and another pantheon even among the gods, there are hunters and hunted, predators and prey. But to kill a member of one's own pantheon is another matter. If it were so easy, would I not already rule Arvandor?" The young god regarded his mother for several moments, his eyes thoughtful and his fingertips gingerly stroking his stinging cheek. "If it is as you say," he said slowly, "then perhaps you should leave the Seldarine." "Have you not heard a word I have said this day? [...]"

;;

The young god regarded his mother for several moments, his eyes thoughtful and his fingertips gingerly stroking his stinging cheek. "If it is as you say," he said slowly, "then perhaps you should leave the Seldarine." "Have you not heard a word I have said this day? I wish to rule the Seldarine!" "Then do so by conquest, rather than intrigue," Vhaeraun suggested, "You have been amassing an army to do your will. Leave the Seldarine, and lead that army yourself! Imagine Araushnee at the head of a mighty force, the leader of the anti-Seldarine!" he concluded, his voice ringing with the drama of it and the pride of one who admires his own visions. Araushnee stared at him for a moment, then she shook her head in despair. "How did I give birth to two such idiots? Think, boy! List in your mind the great and glorious generals I have enlisted!"

Now. And here's where my issue with the metatextual framework of Evermeet sits.

The conclusion our wonderful friend Elaine Cunningham seems to want us to come to is that he is inherently complicit in his mothers schemes. Like, theres this consistent idea throughout the book that he is equally at fault as his mother for everything that happened, and that bleeds into the text. It's in the way he's framed around her as that of "A Hovering Raven", and like he's lesser for not standing up to her in that moment. But, what I'm reading with my eyes in the good god given year of 2025 is a character who is getting thrown around by his mother and fawning under her to keep her anger regulated. He's constantly portrayed as preparing to or actively take a hit from her, or deal with the repercussions of her anger, or being on some receiving end of some beration. It does not escape me that he adjusts his plans and the way he talks to make her happy. He suggests that they leave and when it's clear that she's not happy he adjusts his thoughts until she is happy with it.

Now, all of this isn't just a "Here's my propoganda as to why my poor blorbo did nothing wrong moment," (Being upfront, my conclusion for Vhaeraun is "Did a few things wrong, but not nearly as much as you'd think) I think this is something that genuinely colors his motivations and the kind of person he is later. Likewise, I think this showcases something thats not only deeply important about him as a person, but Eilistraee and the dynamic that they're in. I think Vhaeraun did, as a result of being her favorite child, experience more of Lolth's direct abuse than Eilistraee did, and it's given him more of an awareness and nuance of the kind of person their mother is than his sister has.

Editing in a long minor note going into the next section before I post this: I feel the need to establish. As a character, I do actually really like Eilistraee. Vhaeraun is my main focus, but Eilistraee is my third favorite Dark Seladrine god on a character level. I'm a little bit critical of her and her world view here because the book isn't. I feel a bit more of a need to defend Vhaeraun's logic and a bit more of a need to dismantle Eilistraee's because the narrative handling for both consistently isn't handled with the amount of nuance that I think they should be. I personally think Vhaeraun and Eilistraee are two sides of the same coin. Despite what DnD wants me to believe, I don't think Eilistraee is always right and Vhaeraun is always wrong. I think they're two characters responding very differently to the insane and extreme circumstances in which they stemmed from, and to say one is wholly correct and the other is "The wrong one" misses the point.

I also acknowledge that this is a DnD'ism that a lot of people have already criticized since even going back to the 90's. I am not the first to say that the alignment system doesn't hold up and the in-universe idea of good and bad is inherently flawed and lacks a lot of nuance. Like. I think there's this idea of "Because we know he ends up evil, this isn't as severe, because he deserves it for being evil" levels of logic happening within the narrative. Take my hand though, we're going to add nuance to it.

Something else important about Vhaeraun. Just a little thing worth mentioning, not too important in the grand scheme of things. Maybe a little more important than I'm implying. Vhaeraun was the original Main Influential God of the Drow.

So. Comparatively, Eilistraee to me reads as a little naive with how she's often portrayed. She was shielded from the worst of their mothers temper and abuse as a result of being her fathers favorite.

Eilistraee, to me, doesn't understand the intricacies of violence, war, and abuse. When she see's her brother, she see's the same kind of evil as her mother. But Eilistraee a FASCINATINGLY unreliable narrator. She is biased against her brother and his influence, so she is only ever going to see the spread of it as an evil. And because, as mentioned, the book is operating on the assumption that he too is evil, it doesn't so a lot to showcase HOW his presence is an evil. So. Vhaeraun came to Toril first, and Lolth followed because she felt his presence off of one of the elves that came into the Demonweb pits. And the country that he was worshiped in was implied to not only be functional, but like thriving in a time when Dragons were the main threat. And his power only collapsed like it did because of his people dying in a black plague level of tragedy.

Other effects of the Sundering also brought mixed emotions to the goddess. On the one hand, it had destroyed many of her worshipers. Yet for each of her elves that had tumbled into the sea or been crushed by falling stone, at least three of Vhaeraun's followers had perished. Lloth reigned supreme among the dark elves' gods.

The conclusion that I'm coming to (Admittedly, this one doesn't have canon basis in plain text to point to, but stick with me) I think Vhaeraun see's himself as the "Rightful" God of the Drow (As in, drow as a whole, not just male drow.) He see's himself as someone that had his "Kingdom" stolen from him. If HE was in control the drow would still be powerful. If HE was the main one being worshiped, they would be respected. But because his mother came and influenced them, he (they) lost everything.

Related to both of these point, I don't think that he has ever seen Eilistraee as a direct threat to him and his power. All of his hatred towards his sister has been portrayed (and outright stated) to be rooted reaction to how he's treated as a result of their father favoring her, and what he see's as her enabling. And again, that goes right back into what my thesis point is for the Drow/Elf pantheon. This is a story about an abusive family structure, and that colors everything about the relationships between parent and child and siblings.

[...] Likewise, the Masked Lord nurtures an abiding hatred of Eilistraee. The Dark Maiden always held Corellon's favor more than her hateful brother, and she thwarted Vhaeraun's early efforts to bring all the Ilythiiri (southern, dark-skinned elves) under his sway, enabling Lolth and Ghaunadaur to make great inroads among those who would become the drow. [...]

"Not alone," Vhaeraun said firmly. "Eilistraee plotted with us. She deserves to share my fate." "Eilistraee? I cannot believe this of the girl" began Sehanine. "You were not here!" Aerdrie broke in fiercely. "I saw her shoot the arrow that struck down Corellon! And as her own mother points out, the girl has never missed her mark!" Corellon shook his head. "I cannot believe she would do such a thing!" "Believe!" hissed Vhaeraun, enraged that Corellon suffered such doubt and anguish at the thought that his precious Eilistraee might have turned against him. He was willing enough to name his son a traitor! Vhaeraun had always hated his younger, favored twin. Now he would have his vengeance. The young god turned to his mother, his eyes burning with an enmity that set even one such as Araushnee back on her heels. "You promised me power and honor," he said in a voice meant only for his mother's ears. "But instead, your ambitions have cost me everything. Give me Eilistraee, and I will consider this day's bargain well made."

[...] Finally he looked to Vhaeraun. "Eilistraee has chosen. Go now, and take her with you. But know that the day your hand is lifted against her will be the last of your life. This I swear, by all the trees of Arvandor." Vhaeraun's face twisted with hatred and rage, but he had little choice but to comply. Corellon stood silent as the young god shouldered his unconscious twin and disappeared. Finally he rose to his feet and faced his fallen love. [...]

And I do think it's a bit telling that even at the height of his power, the most he did was exile her. (This is implied, who else would have done it)

[...] "I am known as Eilistraee, the Dark Maiden. I require from you neither reverence nor vigilance," she said softly. "I come as a friend, and in need of friends. Put aside both your weapons and your wonder, and let us talk. There are things that you must know if you intend to confront the Ilythiiri." The sadness in her voice smote Sharlario's heart, and he did as she bid. "You spoke of exile, lady," he commented. "Forgive me, but I have never heard of such a thing. From whence are you exiled, and, if I might ask, why?" "Most recently, from the southlands," the goddess said. [...]

Authors note: The Ilythiiri were drow before they were called drow.

If he wanted her dead (for the crime of existing), I think he would have killed her ages ago. But I don't think he does. I think he's just angry at the hand he's been dealt and it's easier to blame her than it is to unpack the complicated feelings he has towards his mother. Him attacking her in Lady Penitent feels like a means to an end for me. He's not attacking her because he hates her personally, despite what she thinks. He's attacking her because (In character logic and reasoning) if he combines their churches then maybe he will have enough power to combat their mother.

(Now. I as an author think this is flawed logic, and we know that because when Eilistraee took his aspects the churches splintered, because you can't force people to worship someone they don't like. But, his logic and reasoning nonetheless)

I'm not sure where to include this, but we're getting to the end of the family section and I still haven't mentioned Selvetarm.

Selvetarm... To keep it short. The cycle of abuse continues. He's absolutely blinded by rage when it comes to his family.

[...] "What I want, you speck of a creature" he brandished the stump of his wrist before Inthracis's face "is Selvetarm's obsequious brain torn from his foul head so that I can use his empty skull as a piss pot." [...]

Now. Going away from all of that to the next big thing with him.

I think a lot of people want to kind of. Dance around the drow racism of his character. I don't think we can dance around the fantasy racism of his character. I think, in fact, we need to sit on the fantasy racism a little bit and peel back the layers of it because I actually think the framework of what we're looking and what it says about him is kind of interesting. Because Vhaeraun really does not hate non-drow.

This can be a touchy subject. Up front, take none of this as a defense of his mindset, just an explanation toward its and an exploration of it.

Source citing note: This section comes from this video by Ed Greenwood on him.

[Start: 3:41] Non-drow can become priests of Vhaeraun, but it's very rare, as the deity is inherently suspicious of non-drow, and because many drow, holding similar suspicions, would refuse to accept, so train and work with, such an individual. So if someone wants to embrace the faith of Vhaeraun in service, that is, becoming an ordained priest, they are going to have to demonstrate personal support to Vhaeraun's aims, then appeal in prayer to the deity directly. Vhaeraun will respond, manifesting an avatar, and flood supplicant's mind with his own, an excruciatingly painful experience that may well drive the supplicant mad. His arrogance and force of presence is terrible to most mortal to prove their thoughts and memories personally. Vhaeraun must be certain of their motives and their loyalty. He dare not allow a traitor into the ranks of his relatively, when measured against the ever present malicious darkness that is the worship of his mother Lolth, small and weak church. If he finds treachery, he will typically destroy the mortal mind he has melded with, leaving the hapless would be traitor a drooling, vertigo smitten victim, able to speak and reason only slowly and haltingly, and so extremely vulnerable to almost any hostile being. If he finds loyalty, he will be delighted, for he sees the road to achieving his aim of drow supremacy as necessitating acceptance of his guidance and that of the mortal drow who serve him by non-drow. He will mark such a mind with a boon, typically darkvision, or, for a gifted mortal, the ability to cast dancing lights at will, or darkness, or fairy fire, once every 48 hours, from the moment of their last casting of a magic he's conferred. This boon is not entirely generous, but also serves to alert all drow, Vhaeraun intends it for his followers, but it works for drow of any primary loyalty, that this individual is his. That is, that he favors this being and they are loyal to him. This is what enables a non-drow wannabe cleric of Vhaeraun to find acceptance in the ranks of his church. They will never be entirely trusted, as in, they may well be trusted with dangerous, important tasks or missions by senior priests who see them as inherently expendable, but they will always be watched, both overtly and covertly. But so long as they accept their subservient role, they will be accepted.

But this isn't the only thing I want to bring up from this video.

How much do you know about the concept of noblesse oblige.

("the inferred responsibility of privileged people to act with generosity and nobility toward those less privileged.")

[..] Vhaeraun himself has bolstered this acceptance by protecting such non-drow priests personally in situations where he manifests, and clearly, by his words and deeds, caring about their health, safety, and welfare. When one of his senior drow priests, Alont Aerlarr of Athkatla, asked the god why he did this, Vhaeraun replied, "To lead and rule others means we must value those others; a shepherd who cares not for the sheep is no worthy shepherd. By valuing our livestock, we increase our own value and demonstrate to all our fitness to lead all other creatures." [...]

Using these as sources, here is what I think Vhaeraun's mentality and the drow supremacy of it all comes from.

Vhaeraun does sincerely see drow as being better than other races. However. To properly understand where his mindset is, you must also understand that it is a racism of patronizing rather than one of pure hatred. Drow are better, they're stronger, they're my favorite, so we must show our strength and power and our ability to care for those we will rule. How can we be trusted to rule over them if we do not carry ourselves with the honor and respect of someone that is worthy of ruling.

It is the divine right to rule on a hierarchical level.

I also think there is a level of distrust and discomfort that comes from their their circumstance. He is the counter to Eilistraee's "We must show others we are good and deserving of their respect." He is this logic of "Why should we trust and respect those that don't respect us? They should just already respect us."

So I think the drow supremacy of it all is uhh. Nuanced. I don't think his mindset is right, but I also think it is one that would be changed if their circumstances were less extreme. I also think the mindset enables his church to do uh. Evil Slavery Things! Again, we cannot get around the evil fantasy slavery things and the bigotry of it all.

But we can explore it. Because this is a fictional character in a fictional setting.

Now, semi-related to the above point as well, with all of that in consideration, I don't know if Vhaeraun wants power for the sake of power. I don't have any in-text proof of this outside of "Everything above is emblematic of a deeper motivation" but I'm kind of under the impression that to Vhaeraun, power is synonymous with stability and respect.

So. That's Vhaeraun and the important/prominent traits he has. Now I think we can get into him as a person on a personality level.

;;

It is now that we can actually pull things up from Demihuman Deities and Drow of the underdark, and a little bit from War of the Spiderqueen

Personality wise, this is how he's described.

I think your impression of him (That he's someone that keeps a lot close to his chest) is correct. My personal interpretation of Vhaeraun is that he is playing the part his followers need him to play. What he needs to be is a leader and a king. What I think Vhaeraun wants is to be one of the guys (for a lack of a better term). He wants to be included. He WANTS to be called out to, and wants to be wanted. He finds it hard to hold aloof from the needs of his worshipers. He doesn't want them summoning anyone but him.

and this is built into how he works mechanically. He's weak on his own, but he's supposed to be built around his followers and take advantage of their skill set.

Related: Do you want to see the hottest thing he's ever done. Like canonically. To me.

Defending one of his guys without even looking and then sending the assailant flying into the air. Deeply hilarious. Very hot. I would trust him with my life. I think about this passage a non-zero amount.

=

Not important to his character persay, but a fun sidenote to cut through all this. While the fact he's the god of thieves has gotten the most focus in recent years, in the many ways he parallels Eilistraee he's actually the God of the Night canonically, and a lot of things around him (especially in earlier editions) ride around that coding. If Eilistraee is the moon, he is the sky and the stars.

=

I joke about the fact he's a dumbass (Because he can be a little bit of a dumbass) but I do actually think he prefers logic and reason schemeing solutions to violent ones. If he can get power by doing tax evasion, he prefers that to doing it through conquest. Because conquest means the people that worship him die as well, and he really doesn't like putting his guys at risk.

As an example, and something I consider to be a deeply telling thing of his character. He's a bitch that LOVES a loophole. Gods aren't allowed to steal souls from other gods? That's fine. He'll just have his followers do it. He's not breaking any rules.

He can't kill mortals directly? That's fine. He'll hire demons to do it.

He's someone that LOVES getting away with things that he should not. He doesn't need to fight. He just needs to outscheme.

(Though, and this isn't supported by anything in text and another thing I just personally noticed as a trend. Despite seeming to view himself as a schemer and a logical person, he is a character who is not only deeply driven by his emotions, but kneecapped by them as well. As mentioned earlier, he's so blinded by his anger towards his family that it ruins multiple of his plans. His want to keep his worshipers safe stops him from using them, even when they might have allowed it. I think a lot of the things he did in WotsQ was driven by panic. He acts before he thinks, and he acts on his emotions, and he hides that he acts on his emotions by putting up this edgy, knives and shadows front.)

Anyway. Final note. He's a whore. Male slut. Libertine.

Now, there's a consistent implication with most gods in the Forgotten Realms that they are willing to sleep around, and I know that Ed Greenwood has described the presence of gods as caresses and touches. However, lets be clear. There's no implication here. He is just one of the few gods that even back in 2e that is directly mentioned to be sleeping with his followers.

Masked traitors receive the personal attention of Vhaeraun in the form of useful information imparted to them from time to time in their dreams. The Masked Lord richly rewards those who do well in his service, and he often (falsely) hints he is willing grant immortality to worthy traitors or even elevate them to the role of his consort

Now, you can interpret that the (Falsely) is applicable to both the immortal line and the consort line, but

Dragging evermeet back in for one last rodeo.

[...] This proved to be a difficult task, considering that the entire Seldarine was celebrating the dual victories of Corellon Larethian. Avoiding several score of celebrating elven deities, even in a place as vast as Arvandor, proved to be no easy matter. Nor was it easy to hold Vhaeraun's attention: Many a young goddess-and one or two of the elder powers as well-urged the handsome young god to join in the merriment. At highsun, Araushnee finally left Vhaeraun to his revels. She sought out Corellon, for he might [...]

Lolth voice: Ugh. Keeping my sons attention is so hard. Why is it always him and the partying.

Vain.... Handsome.... Okay. I see you DnD. He cares about his appearance, and how he's being perceived.

===

So where does all of this bring us. How do I summarize my thoughts on Vhaeraun: The Masked Lord.

[All of these are my personal conclusion summed up. If you disagree, thats totally fine! But this is the impression of him I personally get with all of this in consideration.]

I think a massive and defining part of his character is the concept of noblesse oblige. This is something that colors so much of the way he behaves. Because as a deity he is stronger than the drow that worship him, it is his job and his duty to protect them. Because drow are better than other races, and it is their duty to Shepard them. If they are not protecting them properly (And by proxy, If he is not protecting his guys properly) that is a failure on their (his) part. He's someone who believes in the idea of honor amongst his own people.

In contrast to that, I think he is deeply possessive, protective, petty, spiteful motherfucker. He is, above all else, emotional, and driven by the things he feels. And I think the things he feels most frequently anger and righteous fury.

And I think the irony of it all is that all of that comes from the fact that he cares. In fact, I think he only acts as he does because of how strongly he cares. The drow are his. They are something stolen from him. He loves the drow. That is his love and his empathy, because it is the only way he's ever known how to love and empathize. And the reason that is the only way he knows how to love and empathize is because he's an abuse victim. You cannot touch on the concept of Vhaeraun without touching on his sister, mother, and father because he only became the kind of person he is because of them. While you don't have to touch on his son, I think doing so adds another layer, because it shows another way he's kneecapped by his emotions. He can't separate the emotions he feels towards his mother from the feelings he has towards his son, thus inflicting the same neglect and pain he was subjected to onto him and leaving him in the hands of his mother, while blaming him and strictly him for what she made of him [Selvetarm, that is.]

You know. Like people to him.

I think his evolution of going from what seems to be this young, Dionysus like deity, to a god of territory who managed to make alliances with dragons and create a respected empire, to this militant and paranoid divine figure and leader of rebellion is fascinating.

And I think, despite his personality being the way it is? He's not unkind. He just isn't wearing that kindness on his sleeve. He CAN'T wear the kindness on his sleeve. But his gifts aren't insincere. He wants to include his worshipers in the things he's doing. He wants to BRING them places.

"Vhaeraun has called me to his service in the planes beyond Faerûn on several occasions," Tzirik admitted. "In fact, I have been in the Demonweb Pits before now. All the gods of our race reside here, each in their own domain within this great chasm of webbing. My previous business did not take me to Lolth's domain, though, and that was a good many years ago."

I think he is someone deeply motivated by the concept of "Means to an end." Doing bad things now is fine, because once we're in power we won't need to do that anymore. It's okay to do bad things to the people that don't respect us, because it is not our job to convince them to respect us. They will see our power, and then they will respect us.

And, if you want something that I think is never stated plainly, but my insane delusions of the upmost degree. I think he's a god who's a little uncomfortable with the divine. They're not something that can be trusted. But his mortals? The ones who chose to worship him and put their trust in him? They are the ones he likes. They are the one's he'll protect.

And also all of that and he's a slut.

[silcobrainrot]

I was typing out a reply to this post and then I realized I lost the plot so bad that I didn't want to derail OP's point so here it is. OP's points that I'm reflecting on:

Zaun is a very fucked place with a very fucked system. He’s doing what he thinks needs to be done in order to at some point be able to rein it in and make it better. He wanted to give Zaun a fighting chance against Piltover. He wanted to make them equal. And in a place where there are no rules. And people talk with violence. You’re going to have to make some very awful choices in order to not only take control, but have enough power to fix it. He may not have been the one to change Zaun, but he’s raised the girl that could.

"but he’s raised the girl that could." SO fucking true and I wish s2 had let her. firing that rocket at the council was a promise to make their lives hell. i didn't need to see her as the leader of a movement but it would have been nice to see her enable and enact change just by being a powerful loose cannon. Act 1 almost gave us this but then she decided that Jinx was dead in ep 4 and then we don't see her do much of anything until she shows up to the battle in the finale. She could have spent the season being unhinged, having agency and making actual choices that have consequences for herself, Zaun, and Piltover (she was responsible for most of the inciting incidents in s1). The good consequences and the bad.

Let her run wild. Show her lose herself to her grief and anger and how much she misses him and how fucked all of this is. Then bring her back. Not in a redemption arc way, I don't think she needs that, but in a way where she finally understands what she wants her life to be. She mourns the loss, she comes out of her grief, she forgives herself for killing him because it's what he would have wanted, and for the first time ever, she gets to choose what her path in life will be. It's time to be her own person. She's not a hero, she'll never lose her enjoyment of violence and chaos, but she is no longer fueled by anger and hatred and vengeance.

Let Sevika use the stuff Jinx does on her own--avenging Silco and taking vengeance against Piltover--to lead a movement. Let Sevika struggle with keeping the people who worked under Silco loyal to the mission. Show us how Sevika got on good terms with Scar [the firelights' leader while Ekko was away] and what an alliance between the movement for change inspired by Jinx, and the firelights, could accomplish for Zaun. Bringing them hope that change is really possible. Getting them out of their homes and their "every man for himself" mentality and get them believing in something. Wanting more for themselves. Organizing. Community services. Shared resources. Fucking unionizing idk. We see so many of Zaun's worst people but there are normal people living in normal poverty just trying to get by down there, too. Show us the Zaun Silco had become so disconnected from due to isolation and obsession.

It started with Silco, despite how flawed his methods were and how they did so much damage to the Undercity. An evil he thought was necessary because he didn't know any other truth in life besides pain and misery. But it started with him, and it gets realized by his daughter and lieutenant. Sevika is probably the closest thing he had to a friend, who stuck by his side despite how much their methods were hurting the people they were trying to liberate. The people who worked closest to him, lived closest to him, and could see the flaws in both his methods and him as a man, finishing what he started.

But instead we get Jinx committing suicide and Sevika joining the council which. Jesus fucking christ I don't even want to get myself started on that bullshit. @wetnoodle thank you for the brain worm

[marisandini-chu-blog]

EPISODE 4 TBHX LET'S GO!!!!!

A quick word before we begin; just to establish my mindset and expectation as I watch this. Particularly about the Trust Value.

I've mention this before in previous posts how there's nothing wrong with Heroism; the desire to be popular and notice, with the performance that comes with it.

Image is important. Image is a tool. Heroism push people to do good, even with shallow intention, and the people who receive help would not have cared if they were genuine or not.

There is good in heroism the same way there is good in being able to enjoy a good music from an artist we love. Excited for youtubers making content to teach and spread joy in a community they establish. For TV personalities be able to spread good message and bring awareness for people to come together and point their energy for a good cause.

It's not always vain in wanting to be popular.

Which is why it becomes a problem when a capitalist system tries to monetize a virtue. When people enable a toxic culture without calling them out. When trust becomes a cage.

So I'm looking forward to Lin Ling's finale and the conclusion of his arc; will he change or will the system change?

Will Lin Ling put trust on the people who still relies on him? Vise versa, will the people keep their trust even when his image has change?

Now... let's begin.

Of course God Eye aim his attack the moment Nice is at the Top 10. That petty bitch

"The Moon has to be a played actor" Oh no... I feel called out

God Eye, you want to show reality to the world and yet you're denying your own truth; which is that you are a petty bitch

WHAT THE FUCK?! HE CAN'T LEAVE?!

God, I wish I had save the post, but there was someome who mention how the Trust Value makes a hero's body a cage while their mind is still free — this fits with how Nice's body doesn't want to go outside but his mind wrestle to save Moon

Oh God, I don't know how to feel about this. Maybe I am bias, but I would feel terrible if my trust and faith is taking his free will away — and we've seen how the people would rather have the hero save people than their image in the previous episode. There's definitely people who want Nice to save Xiao Yueqing, but they're drown out by the majority

MISS J YOU'RE NOT JUST ERASING MOON'S MEMORIES, YOU'RE ERASING LIN LING'S VERY EXISTENCE WITH THAT CHOICE! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Urgh, this is why I hate God Eye's whole schick. He's basically a papparrazi trying to create the next buzz even at the expense of someone

Ooooooh, I like how God Eye is not just changing the Public's perception of him. But also the Blaster's perception of himself and the animation SHOWS!

YEAH, LIN LING! YOU'RE NOT NICE! GO BE A HERO!

Hoooooooly?! I didn't think Lin Ling is gonna reveal all the truth?

You know what's ironic? As easy as it is to break people's trust, It's not that hard to gain their trust

A youtuber named Aliciaxlife (check her out, she's great) also react to this. And one of the things she shared was at the start, she creates a persona for the public that becomes stiffling overtime. When she decides to break it and be more genuine (read: meaner😆), her views plummeted for a while before it rise back up

So even though it's over dramatic, hasten and simplified – this kind of stuff does happen. That if you're willing to be genuine and spoke out for the right thing, people will always root for justice

Lin Ling's fight is sooooo ugly, I LIVE FOR IT!!!

Okay, so Lin Ling shootingup into Top 10 level is a bit of a strech, ngl. There should be a lot of people scrutinizing

I FUCKING KNEW SHE WAS FAKE!!!

Okay, having people who fakes things get faster gratification can be annoying. At that point, I can understand God Eye's perspective

God Eye could actually make a good point if he decided to put all that energy to be less annoying a better version of himself instead of tearing other people down.

For someone who begrudge a hero who fakes himself, he seems too surprise at seeing the truth push Lin Ling stronger. Maybe perhaps people fake themselves because people like you who likes to pull people down with the truth? Ever think of that, God Eye?

THE COMMONER?! FUCKING COMMONER? WHO THE HELL IS COMING UP WITH THE LAME ASS NAMES? FIRM MAN IS BAD ENOUGH ALREADY!

Xiao Yueqing becoming a hermit is not what I expected from her

WTF?! SHE ACCIDENTALLY PUT HERSELF IN AN ABANDON ISLAND?! I SHOULDN'T LAUGH BUT GIRRRRRLLLL!!!!

It fits her character though. Of course she jumps and didn't think twice

The definition of be careful what you wish for

Lin Ling, I don't know how you work that teleporter gun, and I don't care to know. Just get her out of this island, I think she has enough...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I heard about Director Li's reputation but...

WHAT THE FUCK?!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

AFTER AN ENTIRE EPISODE DEDICATE TO NOT LET HER BE AN ACCESSORY TO A HERO - YOU FRIDGE HER?!?!?!

The worst part is? I can't even hate it! WE'VE BEEN WARNED FROM THE FIRST EPISODE!!!

Episode 3 React

[sapphic-agent]

One thing I didn't touch on in my Book 3 Aang analysis was that an important part of his character development was just dropped out of nowhere. I'm of course talking about him letting go of Katara.

I didn't notice it before, but this was such a strange decision to make looking back. Because watching both The Guru, it's heavily implied- if not outright told to us- that in order to not only be the Avatar the world needs, but to heal and grow, he needs to let her go.

You have indeed felt a great loss. But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads' love for you has not left this world. It is still inside of your heart, and is reborn in the form of new love.

This is pretty blatantly telling us that Aang's love for Katara comes from the loss of his people. He, upon realizing that he was alone, attached himself to the first person to care for him. The first person to embrace him in one hundred years. He's projecting the love he had for the Air Nomads onto her. And while understandable given the circumstances, that isn't healthy. Aang's attachment to Katara comes from feelings of grief as well as physical attraction, which is a... Bad combination.

(And before anyone says it, no I don't think that's the only way he cares for her. But I do think even their platonic relationship is tainted by not only this, but everyone around them enabling Aang. So many people told him that he just needed to wait and she would come around, that he was the Avatar so of course she would- Avatar Roku I am in your walls- not one person told him to be ready to accept rejection. Not one person told him to respect and be mindful of her boundaries. Are we surprised he did what he did in DOBS and EIP?)

"The Thought Chakra is located at the crown of the head. It deals with pure cosmic energy, and is blocked by earthly attachment. Meditate on what attaches you to this world. Now, let all of those attachments go. Let them flow down the river, forgotten."

I did actually mention this briefly in my Book 3 post, but I sincerely doubt Guru Pathik is telling him he can't love. Roku, Kyoshi, and Korra all found love and they had complete control over their Avatar States (Korra was at her most balanced when she got together with Asami btw). Letting go doesn't mean Aang can't love.

Appa, someone Aang loves more than anything, doesn't appear in this vision. Neither does Sokka, Momo, or Toph. Just Katara.

His attachment to Katara is what's holding him back. Because it's unhealthy, and it's keeping him anchored down. This isn't just about the Avatar State, it's about healing the turmoil in himself. He cannot do that if he doesn't let her go.

(This behavior is even escalated in LOK. Only instead of Katara, he attached himself to Tenzin. Tenzin being an Airbender gave Aang credence to project his love for the Air Nomads onto him. Not only did he then neglect Kya and Bumi because of it, I would also argue that he did a good amount of damage to Tenzin himself. Being put on a pedestal like that by a parent is so harmful)

The fact that none of this is even mentioned in Book 3 doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It was an important part of Aang's development and integral for his growth and healing

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

What's Silja's story and her relationship with Heimdall?

Ah yes! I've mustered up a story for Heimdall and Silja inside my mind, so here goes! (This is gonna be a long post lol I'm gonna pour it all here)

🔮Some Heimdall x Silja Lore! 🌌

oh and their theme song is 'Circles' by EDEN 👁️👁️

Silja was born in the times when Freyr ruled over Alfheim. As Freyr was away a lot because of the conflicts with the Aesir and Freya, Freyr and the elves decided to 'create' a being which can hold the balance and peace between the light and dark elves. Freyr merged a piece of himself with the Light of Alfheim. From there, Silja was born/created. So Freyr is kind of her father.

Silja is the goddess of memory and remembrance, as her eyes were imbued with the Light of Alfheim itself, enabling her to see everyone's past. She was raised as a princess by the elves, but she's pretty much a trophy goddess who holds the peace in Alfheim when Freyr disappeared after Odin and Freya married.

In truth, Silja became bitter and judgemental as well from her hindsight powers. She could see the elves' pasts, even when they don't remember. She's always in Alfheim, and so she desires adventures more than anything - freedom.

During the time of Odin and Freya's marriage, Silja often comes to Asgard as an ambassador of Alfheim for diplomatic reasons. That's when she finds her joy, a chance to get out of Alfheim to visit other realms. And that, was where she met Heimdall.

(YES THEY'RE COUSINS) (BUT NOT REALLY OKAY) (Heimdall had 9 mothers while Silja is born from the Light) (God that sounds so bizarre HAHAHAH)

Heimdall can see her thoughts, while Silja can also see his past. For once in their lives, they met a similar person. They quickly become the Judgy Friends™.

One day, because she could fly (another gift from the Elves) she took Heimdall away from the wall and took him strolling along other realms, showing him that the other realms are beautiful as fuck as well.

When Odin knew that Heimdall had left his post in the wall, Odin became furious and disappointed, telling him how would he entrust Gjallarhorn with him if he left his post like this.

Heimdall (with his Odin's manipulation tactics) grew distant and pushed Silja away. With Freya's banishing from Asgard and locked away from other realms, she had to stay in Alfheim to keep the Light and Dark Elves from fighting again.

Without her father figure and her only friend, Silja, who desired freedom from her responsibilities as a trophy goddess, ran away from Alfheim, which left the realm in a state of war once again. She didn't care anymore.

>>> BOOM God of War (2018) <<<<

Silja roams the Midgard and Niðavellir, helping people with her powers of memory and remembrance, learning not to judge, but also how to empathize. At first she was still judgemental about the weakness of a powerlessness human and dwarves, but from her adventures, she learned to empathize, and helping tortured souls come to terms with their pasts.

She spent most of her time roaming Midgard, but after the death of Baldur and Fimbulwinter came down upon the nine realms, she had to go back and check on Alfheim. Finding it in chaos and dead bodies of Elves are everywhere, Silja sneaked towards the Light of Alfheim, and saw a glimpse of Kratos going inside the Light.

>>> BOOM God of War Ragnarok (2022) <<<

Still helping the Midgardians surviving harsh winters, and with her seeing the pillar of thunder-ice, Silja encoutered Kratos, Atreus, and Mimir in a fight against trolls and draugrs. Mimir introduced Silja to the father-son duo.

(The way Silja was SHOCKED when she saw Kratos' past tho...)

Kratos thought that Silja mean harm to them since they killed a lot of Elves, but turned out she paid it no mind, since they won't stop warring even if the sun lights upon Helheim.

They part ways, but Atreus bumps onto Silja in his adventures with Sindri, begging her not to tell his father. Silja being the naughty goddess she is, promises Atreus not to tell Kratos.

When Kratos and Atreus brings back Tyr to Sindri's house, Silja was left flabbergasted, because she couldn't see Tyr's past at all. It was weird, because back in the days, She could see Týr's past well enough as the others. However, Mimir suggested it might be one of the many consequences of Odin's tortures.

When Kratos and Atreus' relationship grows tense, she chooses to stay silent, because Silja understands what Atreus feels. When Atreus stormed out of Sindri's house and ran to Asgard, Kratos and Freya was worried shitless about Atreus going to Asgard, so Silja offered to follow Atreus, saying she'll make sure Atreus doesn't do anything too stupid.

Plus, she knows that the first person Atreus will meet in Asgard is him. Someone needs to protect Atreus from his antiques.

Time to visit a long-lost friend 😉

---

Colored version of Silja's early design (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

[lactoseintolerentswag]

when they've got interpreting spiderman noir under a specific cultural lens at the function [picture of me going insane]

I cant help myself.. what can i say. And since you've mentioned some research going on behind the scenes.. do you have any fun interpretations? Or even anything fun about the 1800s!

OH HI

Hm. I don't have anything as fun as historical dancing, but I suppose this does give me the excuse (thabk u) to blab about Noir's childishness.

(wow putting this under the cut bc it got longer than I thought it would LMAO)

I think what a lot of people (including Noir's contemporary writers and yes even the spiderverse interpretation) fall for when trying to read Noir's character is the imitation of his idea of what an adult is, that he hides behind. Like Noir's persona is incredibly exaggerated. He's playing pretend. Look here, he's practicing.

A lot of his persona as Noir is imitation! Imitation of his uncle, of Urich, of the violence he's been exposed to. He's running around in his uncle's old uniform. Fundamentally misunderstanding WHY his uncle had been ashamed of it and his role in the war.

And then he goes ahead and steals Urich's alias because it sounds Cool (which is such a teenage thing to do jesus christ).

But like that imitation of The Adult isn't something that's limited to that exaggerated persona that Noir encapsulates. Peter himself is trying So Hard to be grown up and tough and responsible that it loops back around to him being a brat who would try the three guys in a trench coat trick. He even gets beat up for it when trying to defend his aunt. And I mean I've posted about him being a brat.

About how he looks at Urich as a Prime Example of what a strong and knowledgeable adult is (which is part of why he reacts so volatile in response to Urich showing he's not exactly as morally righteous as himself, he's wounded and let down). Whiskey? Whiskey sounds like someone Mature and Cool would drink, I'll have it too. And then proceeds to throw his drink at Osborn and laugh about it. The illusion was broken for me then.

But well it's not broken for everyone. I mean like obviously I poked at the contemporary writers, but I'm more talking about the other characters in the narrative. Mainly Urich and Felicia.

Urich taking Peter under his wing isn't entirely under the motivation to nurture Peter. I think it Becomes that, but he's really envious of that kid. He wants to see him lose that hope that he once had (ruh roh the opposite thing happened, being around the kid made YOU more hopeful Ben. Guess you gotta be good. Hope you don't die now).

Urich really is exposing him to an extremely harsh reality, and taking him places where adults are typically only allowed. He's letting Peter get a glimpse into what it's like, which will eventually enable Noir's tool of violence. All these tests will accumulate into what Peter thinks someone powerful and strong can be and do.

Then his problematic relationship with Felicia (writers I'm malleting you for this). He's clinging to her adulthood and the safety she represents, and he's young but she sees some adult strength in him. I mean she trusts him with the blackmail Urich gave her, which she really. Shouldn't, even if that's what Urich wanted.

Anyway, strength is something she's been consistently drawn to her in her partners. Strength to feel as her own. Even if it's to hers and others' detriment. There's also a part of Peter that's drawn to Felicia because Urich was. He's still honing in the good parts of Urich he wants to be.

I think the one person in the narrative who doesn't fall for it? Is Aunt May. You could argue it's just her being naturally motherly, but for someone who was about to be eaten alive she's pretty frank with Noir. I think she can see that that violence and exaggerated grittiness comes from someone inexperienced and young. Even if she can't consciously recognize the similarities between Noir's persona and Peter's protectiveness of her. I don't think she wants to see that. I actually have a short comic script about that, but it probably will never see the light of day.

Ugh he's like a cat puffing up to scare away a predator. It's fake!!!!! It's all fake!!!!!! He gets intimidated by JJ, he never ties his shoes, gets powers and then immediately guns to beat the shit out of Osborn, sings about the sandman when he's getting his face bashed in, crawls to Felicia all pathetic and sad, and he made a costume to run over roofs at night in.

And it's funny how he's forcing himself to grow up, but also really sad because all the things he's being exposed to is already forcing him to grow up. He's witnessing things no kid should ever see or experience.

Then there's the time period to consider. The aftermath of WWI, being in the midst of the Great Depression, and WWII just around the corner. He's faced incredible hardship and is going to continue to face so much hardship, and he's going to mature faster than he ever should have. It should have made him crash and burn Hard when he became an adult, and to me he still does because I'm ignoring everyone after ewaof LMAO.

As for my research on the 1800s NY that's for my own spider iteration run I'm working on, so not too related to Noir until I reach the 30's :3

Hope that was satisfying!!

[elainsgirl]

I just can't with this fandom anymore. I'm not leaving but some part of me has just felt done with this fandom for a long time. It's honestly exhausting to not be able to escape having people tell elriels they're dumb and delusional for literally just reading the books and picking up what was obviously put down. I just wish we were left in peace. After years in this fandom, I'm seriously disappointed with both bb and sjm, and I've tried my hardest to not be and to be understanding. But at some point it becomes so taxing to see fans who truly enjoy her work hit over the head with the opposite of what the actual narrative is about and told that is the story told in the most cruel and degrading ways possible. Doxxed, harassed, insulted, bullied out of the fandom. And told they're dumb, delusional and pathetic. Because god forbid elriels are left in peace. I don't want to throw around words like gaslighting carelessly, but its just the closest word to describe what's going on from antis towards elriels.

How many mutuals have I seen leave at this point? Not because they lost interest but because they couldn't stand the toxicity of this fandom. People who were akin to friends, and now that connection is gone.

The reality is there are several books of obvious buildup, iconic moments, romance coded scenes between elriel that shifted the whole narrative before they even got their book. Connection, friendship, lust, longing, ache, beauty. "Are you dumb? They're rebounds!", "she's useless, she doesn't bring anything to the story!", "you idiot, he's just lusting after her!", "potatoes? Pathetic. Az just has mommy issues!", "the shadows hate her!", "elain doesn't belong in the night court, you dumbass, learn to read!", "she doesn't belong with him because she can't have his babies, obviously!", "she's can't handle his darkness, and you're illiterate by the way"...

Have that, and all the other gaslighting arguments from antis, hammered into you for four years and it's not so fun anymore. Oh, and you'll be called overly sensitive for being a little affected by it. Which is why I'm sending my first anon ever, after a decade on Tumblr in various different fandoms.

When fandoms turn toxic, I've seen authors put their foot down. Not through any grand gestures, but a simple social media post. And still, radio silence from both bb and sjm. It's just exhausting and it's unbelievable. I think it is wrong. I think published authors have some responsibility towards their readers that made them successful. I think it is catering to the toxic parts of the fandom to stay silent, because at some point, the silence becomes enabling, whether you want it to or not.

I will read the elriel book and I am sure I will enjoy it. But after that, I am forever done with both BB and sjm. I cannot understand caring so little about the fans that actually love your work. I don't know why any author would want this as part of their legacy without ever having put even the most minor effort into doing something about it. Sorry for the rant.

never apologise for ranting anon, we all need to do it once in a while and thats what I’m here for 💕

being an elriel in this fandom is hard because everyone else gangs up on you: the unconventional theories gang + eluciens. Especially when you consider how elriels are in the minority whereas these guys aren’t. Their voices in the fandom are louder - their opinions are more favourable because its what the majority wants to hear. And being an elriel, you have to constantly deal with all these bs takes that are so easily disproven but no one ever wants to listen because its not what they want from this series.

I can confidently say - elriel and elriels are held to a different standard then every other ship/stan. We have to work twice as hard to prove ourselves and it’s something no other ship has gone through. There’s double standards and hypocrisy when it comes to how people view elriel. Lets take the lust arguement as an example. For Nessian - half their book was them lusting for each other, their bonus was them being down bad for each other. No one called Cassian disgusting or icky. No one said Nessian can’t be together because they only “lust” for each other. Yet the minute we get Azriels bonus, his thoughts and its AFTER we’ve seen him risk his life for her, spend his time listening to her talk about her gardens, making everyone wait for her, the bonus is after all these scenes that show us how much Az cares for Elain - yet just because Az thought about how much he wanted to pleasure elain (after she was turned on) instead of confessing his undying love for her - you have antis saying its just lust! Az is toxic! Az is disgusting! He’s a F-boy!

So yes. Being an elriel in this fandom is very frustrating. Its unjust. And the worst part is - unless you’re in private chats for positive elriel only- antis infiltrate every elriel space across all platforms. So no matter how much you try, you always will come across them hating on elriels and elriel. The best word for it is draining. It drains the joy out of you which sucks because thats not the purpose of the fandom.

and then on top of them undermining elriel - its the constant jabs and insults thrown at elriels for no reason at all, taking a dig out of our reading comprehension, calling us desperate. Copy cats. And then its the bullying, making fun of our fanarts publicly- policing us constantly for things that aren’t out fault. The doxxing, stalking etc. Its so juvenile behaviour and that makes you feel even more isolated and attacked

can’t forget for being called cry babies when we bring up valid issues. They dont even allow us to enjoy ourselves. Look at last week: when the cards came out - antis where the first to make fun of us and how we needed to rely on cards for our ship to work. Then came the article which antis said elriels need articles to feel confident whilst they have the books. Its like every time something good happens to elriels, every time we’re acknowledged - antis have to go and ruin it by being bitter. And then instead of enjoying ourselves - its back to being defensive and having to explain how none of those things confirm elriel but its a good sign. Something thats common sense to normal people.

I respect the authors that call out the BS they see in their fandoms, those authors make it a safe place for their stans to enjoy. Sarah and BB haven’t done that - they’ve allowed so many things to happen and go far with such as the illyrian womb arguement. And I try to be understanding, like @nikethestatue mentioned today - that there’s around 2000 (maximum) of active, hardcore shippers in the fandom whereas Sjms reach is upto millions. We’re all just tiny little ants running around. She can’t see us and rlly doesn’t gaf. Even the loudest of the loudest voice in the active online fandom -still isnt loud enough to make Mass notice. And for Sarah, not only is her fandom big - her books receive lots of criticism. I can understand her wanting to stay away from all that - protect her peace but BB have also neglected this fandom and its annoying when it feels like every other author is constantly interacting with their readers and here it’s just radio silence for 4 years. I think feeling frustrated and angry at BB is completely valid. 4 years is honestly just ridiculous especially when the book isn’t guaranteed to be good.

After the elriel book, exactly like you, I am done with Sarah and her series. Nothing will ever tempt me to come back, i’ll make my content after reading the book - my thoughts on it and thats it. I’ll leave the fandom on all platforms because I have no interest in any other of Sarah’s series and with how long I’ve had to wait just for the elriel book and knowing what I went through whilst waiting, I dont want to experience this ever again. It stopped being fun long ago. And I honestly don’t understand Sarah’s or BB’s thought process right now, why they decided to wait so long or how they’ll announce the book but I think they’re all betting on this book to do rlly well so Mass can re-enter the fantasy genre w a bang becoming a hot topic again. But with how long its been? I dont think they’ll get the response they expected. Maybe that might teach them a lesson.

[maxdibert]

Hello, I've been following you for some time and I love your posts and analyzes about Severus, I regularly update your blog hoping for more and I always wanted to send you something, but I never had the opportunity.

But recently I saw a video on TikTok, which I didn't pay much attention to, but I saw the comments and one of them talked about how if Harry was a woman and looked like Lily, Severus would be a pedophile and that that gave people the creeps. And I, personally, find this statement very funny, because as far as I remember, Snape never had inappropriate contact with any Hogwarts student, or with anyone, in fact. But people intentionally forget that the only person who had the opening to do this was Peter Pettigrew. Ron himself said that they slept together and, probably, Peter saw the boys, literal children, changing their clothes, but, obviously, it would be Snape who was the child predator.

Sorry if it wasn't very understandable, English isn't my first language and I'm using Google to help.

Hi! Thank you. I'm glad you like my rants and sometimes nonense lol

About your pint... Well, this is a very old story. If I had a penny for every time I’ve read someone spouting this nonsense, I wouldn’t be rich, but I’d have enough for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. It’s so absurd that I don’t even think it’s worth refuting, but just to clarify a few things:

Severus resents Harry for two main reasons, and neither of them has to do with being in love with Lily. It’s not something as childish as “uh, my crush married someone else.” No, there are several layers to it.

The first and most obvious is that, unfortunately, Harry is the spitting image of his father, who, unfortunately, was a jerk who spent his school years torturing people—specifically, and with great enthusiasm: Severus Snape. James spent seven years hunting him down and attacking him for sport, backed by his loyal ally Sirius Black and supported by his lackeys, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. While the latter two might not have physically assaulted Severus, they were there as enablers and complicit bystanders. Four against one, at the end of the day.

Severus never had the chance to heal from that abuse because, at 21, he was forced to return to the very place that had been hell for him. He had to teach students who were likely old enough to have witnessed some of those humiliations during his time as a student. A victim cannot heal in the place where they were consistently harmed.

Then Harry comes along, looking like an exact replica of James, and every time Severus sees him, it triggers him immensely. When he looks at Harry, he doesn’t see Lily’s son, nor does he see a child—he sees his abuser. And we all know Harry isn’t to blame for any of this, but the thing is, we can’t expect someone who isn’t acting rationally to be rational. Especially when we’re talking about someone who desperately needs therapy and probably medication, neither of which he’s ever had access to.

Then there’s another factor—a deeply emotional one—which is that Harry’s very existence is a painful reminder of Severus’s own role in Lily’s death. The fact that this kid is there, an orphan, is a constant reminder that Severus overheard a prophecy, reported it to Voldemort, and that Voldemort then chose to kill the most important person in Severus’s life because of it. It’s a perpetual mix of anger and guilt.

Looking at Harry forces Severus to relive his past as a victim, his most humiliating moments, as well as the terrible decisions he made because of them and their devastating consequences. This doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it does explain it quite well.

What I’m trying to say is that the reasons behind how he treats Harry are deeply tied to trauma. If Harry were a girl and resembled Lily, Severus would still feel deeply triggered every time he saw her. The only difference would be that instead of seeing James in her, he’d see Lily. I think, rather than anger, it would fill him with depression and guilt to such a degree that, instead of antagonizing her, he’d try to avoid her as much as possible. He wouldn’t want to get within ten miles of her because seeing her face would constantly remind him of the person he failed and indirectly condemned.

At no point do I imagine anything even remotely sexual crossing his mind. Especially when you consider that Severus never once confessed his feelings to Lily or behaved inappropriately toward her. I do think he’d act “softer,” but not because of her appearance specifically—more because Severus is always gentler toward women. I mentioned this in another post, but his more cordial relationships are almost always with female characters, and when he’s cruel, it’s typically far worse with men than with women.

People who lack even the most basic comprehension or analytical skills… Honestly, if they’re going to hate on him, the least they could do is come up with more convincing arguments. Sometimes it’s just exhausting to explain why their theories don’t make any sense.

[froggieco]

Some controversial thoughts about the Peachyville Horror

I've been seeing how everyone is reacting to Francis's moment in the bathroom in this latest episode (episode 7) and I thought I might as well add one more.

Francis is someone who is mentally unstable, yes. I think this is something we can all agree with. He's surrounded by people who seem to either enable his actions in one way or another or they're on a list of people he keeps which we can only assume is something like a hit list. He's been looked down on by his parents, bullied by his peers, and generally just beat down by everyone around him including himself at this point. Then he won that trophy. That's where everything shifts. He's the one to take it home and it's obvious that by how Will was describing that trophy, something about it had negative energy.

⚠️Now I get into some gory details in this next part so fair warning ⚠️

Now, Francis had his dream and suddenly became violent to an extent that he would joke about it and people would feel threatened. Relistening to episode 5, he threatened a man after scooping his eyes out with an ice cream scoop by kicking him in the balls and then grabbing his eyeballs and threatening to squeeze them. Now, I get it this is a horror comedy podcast but if we are gonna analyze a character I'm taking everything into account and really this is the first and really an extremely violent thing for a person to do, especially when this is the first actions he's been known to take.

Getting the gun and instantly he seemed to know exactly what he "needed" to do. On a dime, the Francis we knew just a few episodes ago was already so different.

Now that brings us to the bathroom scene. People have been saying it was a mental "snap" or "break" which doesn't line up, like how most others have pointed out that this was something that was premeditated. He planned out this whole thing and followed through with it. And to those who think he did this so Shane wouldn't bother him anymore, he didn't see Francis at all through the whole attack, which yes, Francis could go back and claim he did it but I still this it's important to note we don't know if Shane will believe him.

That being said, with every increasingly violent act that Francis had done up to that point it made sense within the confines of his world. It was in his character that things have played out this way so far. And really I think it's going to make for a really interesting character arc. He isn't going to to be a character that we have seen before, which when we just had a season of teens that were just coming into themselves Anthony is getting his chance to get his character in, and it is a horror series. This doesn't make any of the actions acceptable by any means and this should not encourage people to romanticize any of the actions he does. There is a way to like a character and not romanticize their actions, some of these posts remind me of posts of people romanticizing real murderers and shooters, which is rather disturbing.

TLDR

Francis suddenly got violent after bringing the trophy home, having a dream after being under his teacher's bed for 4 hours, and now he's suddenly he's on a bloody rampage and those around him are either enablers or in his line of fire and that's an interesting new character to think about. But don't romanticize that shit.

Extra

• Another idea I saw floating around was that Francis got switched with his reflection in the trophy, which I love the idea of this one. It can keep the idea of mental health slightly but it brings the story back into it. But, I understand that even without evil trophies, people like Francis exist in our world.

• Also having him practice with his bully's face as the target was really the warning. I personally didn't know the scene was going to be that graphic but now looking back I get the horror side of the podcast now. As someone who lives in America it was something that shocked me the first time listening to it, knowing that the usual stuff that the guys bring up I can laugh off. This scene most definitely felt different and I'm sure that it's going to be a huge turning point for a lot of things.

[moony-2001]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Psychopathy: a Critique on Hades' Character and Personality pt. 1

TW: grooming, abuse (financial, physical, sexual, emotional), violence, manipulation

It is imperative that everyone reading this takes into account the fact that I am not a licensed psychologist. This is purely my own (unprofessional) opinion based on the knowledge I have. When I use the term "diagnose", please take it lightly.

I would also like to note that narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy are usually misrepresented in the media and there is a lot of stigma surrounding these disorders. I would like to take the time to point out that just because Hades is an abusive groomer that I am “diagnosing” with these disorders does not mean that every person with NPD or psychopathy is an abuser or a groomer.

Hi. I wanted to start by saying that this post will cover many upsetting topics (listed in the Trigger Warning [TW]), so please read at your own discretion.

Straight up, this post is not going to be pretty. It is going to be long and technical and full of me blabbering away about XYZ. Based alone on how long this intro is, it's probably going to be split into multiple parts. If you don't want to read this because of all of the aforementioned things above, that's okay. If you don't like what I have to say, that's okay too (but be respectful). But if you do want to read this, I would be so grateful. I hope at the end of the day, you can at least appreciate my efforts. I will try my best to not get snarky, however I apologize if some snark does come out.

The way the sections are going to be broken down consists of the following:

The disorder + definition

What the criteria is that must be met for the disorder

Other known personality traits those with the disorder have/what are other traits people with this disorder have in common

Examples from Lore Olympus that (in my opinion) would cause the character to fit the disorder

"Honorable" or "Dishonorable" mentions

Final Thoughts

Additionally, I will talk very briefly about Hades being a groomer and an enabler. These are not mental illnesses and thus will not be taking center stage. With that being said, let's begin.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

I must clarify that psychopathy is not actually a category in the DSM 5. Psychopathy falls under Antisocial Personality Disorder or ASPD. So you wouldn’t be diagnosed as a psychopath, you’d be diagnosed as someone who has ASPD with more psychopathic (or sociopathic) tendencies which the DSM 5 does specify. So, even though I can't actually "diagnose" Hades with psychopathy, I can "diagnose" him as someone who has ASPD with more psychopathic tendencies. Again, I'm using the term "diagnose" here very lightly.

The Disorder

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) is a Cluster B Personality Disorder in the DSM 5. Cluster B Personality Disorders are typically marked by inappropriate, volatile emotionality and behavior that is often unpredictable.

The diagnostic criteria for ASPD is as follows ->

a. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others... as indicated by 3 or more of the following:

failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest

deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure (i.e., to obtain money, sex, or power)

impulsivity or failure to plan ahead

irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults

reckless disregard for safety of self or others

consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations

lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

b. the individual is at least of 18 years of age

c. there is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years

d. the occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder

When these traits were expanded upon under the diagnostic criteria, these are the traits that stuck out most to me:

"... may repeatedly perform acts that are grounds for arrest such as destroying property, harassing others, stealing, or pursuing illegal occupations."

"... decisions are made in the spur of the moment, without forethought and without consideration for the consequences to self or others."

"They may be indifferent to, or provide a superficial rationalization for having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from someone (e.g., 'life's unfair'); they may minimize the harmful consequences of their actions or may simply indicate indifference; they generally fail to compensate or make amends for their behavior."

Associated Features

Those diagnosed with ASPD may also exhibit other behaviors that are not in the diagnostic criteria but are commonly associated with the disorder. These "features" include:

"Frequently lack[ing] empathy and tend[s] to be callous, cynical, and contemptuous of the feelings, rights, and sufferings of others"

"Irresponsible and exploitative in their sexual relationships"

Have a history of many sexual partners and may never have sustained a monogamous relationship

"May also experience dysphoria (tension, inability to tolerate boredom, and depressed mood), associated anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, substance use disorders, somatic symptom disorder, gambling disorder, and other disorders of impulse control"

"May also often have personality features that meet the criteria for other personality disorders, particularly borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorders"

Additionally, ASPD cannot be diagnosed before age 18 and is more common in males. Males with ASPD often have some kind of substance use disorder.

Abuse or neglect may increase the likelihood that [a] conduct disorder will evolve into antisocial personality disorder.

Common Examples within Lore Olympus

Irritability and Aggressiveness

As listed above, two of the possible behaviors indicative of ASPD are irritability and aggressiveness, something that Hades seems to have endless amounts of. The two beings that are frequently at the receiving end of this behavior are Thantos and Demeter, though really, Hades behaves inappropriately to anyone who isn't in his innermost circle. This, in my opinion, makes me believe that his abuse of others stems more from narcissism rather than ASPD but I am still unsure.

Throughout the comic, Hades treats Thanatos, his adoptive son, cruely. Even though the panels I used as an example are primarily from the trial and post-trial arch, there are plenty of other examples of Hades talking down to, belittling, or humiliating Thanatos, especially in public. Hades later tries to excuse this behavior by saying that due to the abuse he suffered as a child, he "didn't know what to do" with Thanatos. So, in a genius act of parenting, he resorts to *checks notes* either icing out Thanatos or verbally/emotionally abusing him until he could survive on his own. At which point Hades functionally abandons him. And remember when Thanatos asks Daphne if she's going to break his phone? Odd reaction to someone asking if they can see your phone, right? We know that Hades can be violent, often resorting to physical harm or destruction of property. So what's to stop him from smashing Thanatos' phone as a form of abuse? Granted, that last part is speculation, but don't forget Hades ripped out someone's eye and broke both his legs. Breaking a phone isn't above Hades.

Though the reader doesn't see a large majority of Hades' abuse towards Demeter until later, Hades openly admits that he and Demeter never got along, claiming that Demeter "always" found something to argue with him about. I suspect the actual details of their dislike for each other wouldn't make Hades out to be the victim of Demeter's "nagging". My theory, though wildly unsupported, has some stock to it due to Hades not just belittling but being outright cruel to Demeter in the panels below. But of course, Hades is suddenly worried about making a terrible impression on Demeter after thousands of years of bad treatment now that someone they both care for is involved which reeks of narcissism.

Failure to Conform... to Lawful Behaviors

Something that goes hand in hand with Hades' aggressiveness (and is another required "trait" for ASPD) is his failure to conform to lawful behaviors. Obviously, he's not the only character who does this in Lore Olympus, but I'm not talking about the other characters today.

Three situations that go beyond irritability and aggressiveness and turn into a breach of lawful behaviors (among many) are his brutal assault on Alex, his assault on the nymph to get back Persephone's comb, and the threatening of the pawn shop owner after being denied information about Persephone.

I remember when reading the chapters about Alex’s torture, people either cheered Hades on or felt indifferent. I honestly don't remember my reaction when reading these chapters the first time, but looking back now, Hades majorly overreacted. Paparazzi are generally a scourge upon the earth, and I do understand when celebrities get aggressive with them for wildly overstepping boundaries for the sake of a story. However, Hades' punishment (and reasons for the punishment) is extremely cruel and unusual, especially given that this story is supposed to be a MODERN retelling. I know the core cast are gods, so cruel and unusual is kind of their thing, but that archaic attitude of the ancient world clashes with upheld societal norms of today's times. I've seen videos of celebrities flipping off, getting aggressive, or even shoving away paparazzi but never ripping out their eye or breaking their legs.

I don't think Hades nearly killing Alex was the white knight moment people thought it was; clearly he doesn't know Persephone as well as he thought he did if he thought that nearly beating her classmate's roommate to death is something she would give him a treat and a pat on the head for. Not to mention, Hades did it for his own ego, not for Persephone's sake, something Persephone calls him out on. AND HADES ADMITS IT. Sure, Hades claims that Alex put Persephone's scholarship at risk, which is true to an extent, however, he quickly turns the situation into a "how dare you do this to ME" situation, something I pointed out in one of my previous chapter critiques as a major flaw of Hades.

And if you think "cannon" Lore Olympus Hades is a scumbag, wait until you read the pilot episodes of Lore Olympus. I thought Hades' brutal torture of Alex was bad in the officially released episodes, but if you go on the Lore Olympus Wiki where the pilot episodes are posted, you will see it's... so much worse. Imagine it like this: if Hades being shown about to rip out Alex's eye made you grimace, what he does to Alex in the pilot comic will literally horrify you.

Another character Hades assaults and harasses is the unnamed nymph in the underworld who had purchased and was wearing Persephone's comb. Again, she had purchased the comb i.e. it was legally no longer Persephone's, and therefore Hades had no right to take it back. It doesn't matter whether or not Persephone "would've never sold the comb if she didn't have to". Regardless of whether or not she had the comb, Hades as king of one of the three realms has no right to treat his citizens like that. It is unseemly.

It is just as unseemly for Hades to threaten the pawn shop owner because she refused to give Hades information about Persephone. Privacy policies are extremely important. This owner doesn't know if Hades is an abusive partner or if he's trying to hurt Persephone. It's the same reason why in real life, most places of employment are legally not allowed to give out any information about their employees. But sure, Hades can throw a temper tantrum because he doesn't get his way and when the temper tantrum doesn't work, he can try out his little sob story and magically get the information he wants.

Persephone once argued that as a king, Hades has a little more wiggle room to do what he pleases. However, I disagree. I think as a king, he should have less wiggle room because he is the face of a realm. He needs to set an example for his citizens. Instead he is allowed to run wild and do what he pleases, with Hecate either barely reining in Hades or aiding him.

Exploitative in their Sexual Relationships/Non-monogamous Relationships

Quick note: the DSM 5 hasn’t been updated in about 10 years (with minor changes made in 2022) and non-monogamy will likely no longer be included in future ASPD criterion since the rise of polyamory. A better descriptor for non-monogamy would likely be serial cheating, but for now, it is still regarded as non-monogamy in the DSM and I will be referring to it as such here. Keep in mind that not every person who has ASPD is going to be exploitative in their sexual relationships or participate in non-monogamous relationships and it is deeply unfair to make that assumption of someone who does have ASPD. However, there is usually a reason that certain traits or associated features are listed in the DSM-5 (or on other sites about the disorder) so keep that in mind.

One of the biggest critiques in the anti-LO community concerned Minthe, Hades, and the nature of their relationship. It was made abundantly clear from the very beginning that their relationship was incredibly unhealthy and involved themes like exploitation, abuse, and power dynamics. Obviously, Rachel wanted to portray Minthe as the toxic, jealous ex which worked in a way, given the fan base's treatment of her. However, the moment it was revealed that Minthe was nothing more than Hades' PA with whom he slept (which is a gross behavior still seen in the real world today), I felt it went downhill from there. As more and more details about their relationship came to light, it became clear that the abuse happening in their relationship went both ways, starting right from the moment Minthe became Hades' sugar baby. Please remember that financial abuse is just as damaging as verbal, physical, or psychological abuse. To clear up any confusion, here is a rough timeline of Hades and Minthe's relationship:

Hades and Minthe meet for the first time at the car event where she is working

Minthe storms into Underworld Corp. because she didn't get paid for the gig and was angry at Hades for (unintentionally) screwing her over

Hades fires his current PA and Minthe becomes his new PA

Minthe becomes his sugar baby either immediately or not too long after that

Hades blurs the line first and their relationship is no longer "no strings attached"

Years of on-and-off relationships, abuse, and fighting

Hades was planning on proposing to Minthe (which she discovers beforehand) despite knowing that his family hates her and she never wanted to be queen of the underworld

Hades meets Persephone and begins an affair with her, despite never officially breaking up with Minthe

Hades eventually breaks up with Minthe after she hits him

Hades immediately moves on to Persephone, a 19-year-old whom he's only known for a few weeks

Once again, in the pilot comic, the way Hades treats Minthe is worse. After she seemingly doesn’t come to the party with him (or claims that their relationship “isn’t working”), he immediately cancels her phone plan and doesn’t pay her rent as, what, petty revenge? Again, this is a form of abuse; Pilot!Minthe is now homeless and stranded because Hades took away essentials from her, leaving her scrambling. Hades shouldn’t have to lie down and take Minthe’s treatment of him, but he inherently has power over her as her king, employer, and a god. Their relationship was never one of equals.

Side note: The reason I also included the panels of Minthe talking about what Persephone “gets to look forward to” with Hades is that often, people with ASPD will have a “glib, superficial charm” as stated in the DSM-5. We often see Hades turning on the charm with Persephone, but again, I have a feeling that what Minthe is saying in an attempt to hurt Hades isn’t far off from the truth. And she gets turned into a plant because of it.

*inhale* Emotional 👏🏻 affairs 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 affairs 👏🏻

Not to mention that Hades also got physical with Persephone (and Hera) even while he and Minthe were still together. Like Persephone said, MINTHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE CHEATED ON and yet they both go ahead and have an affair anyway??? I don’t understand why Hades felt the need to have an affair with Persephone when he had the resources and support necessary to leave Minthe (like seriously. I’m sure there would’ve been a massive party thrown by his family and close friends because they all look down on her). If it was Minthe who decided to leave Hades, she would've had a much harder time with that process.

I will admit I am biased on this topic. I despise cheaters. If you’re going to cheat on your partner, you should just leave and spare them the emotional pain. Instead, Hades drags out their relationship while being involved with Persephone, then gets to play “responsible” so he can sweep Minthe under the rug.

Let's not forget that Hades' relationship with Persephone is exploitative, too. Persephone is a sheltered, naive 19-year-old who hasn't once left the mortal realm until the beginning of this story. She doesn't even know what a butt dial is. Persephone is practically the poster child for the born sexy yesterday trope. And, like every titular story where this god-forsaken trope exists, there also exists a creepy man who is much older than the female protagonist and is totally okay with taking advantage of her so that he may end up with the ideal woman. Like Hera said when chewing out Hades: she's young. Easy to impress. Won't argue with you. And even after Hades finds all this information out, he goes, "Aw damn, that's a shame. Guess I'll pursue her anyways". Luckily for him, Persephone hasn't been around the block, which makes her the perfect target for his grooming and manipulation tactics. Disgusting.

Additionally, there are other moments after Hades and Persephone get together where he exploits her. Some of these moments include when he proposes to her. In this instance (and other situations), Hades exploited Persephone in a moment of distress where he framed himself as someone who could take away her pain. While I won't stick up for the way Demeter treated Persephone, Demeter was correct in the sense that Hades only asked Persephone (and Persephone said yes) to spite her. Of course Persephone was going to say yes, but Hades knew that. That's why he asked in the first place. That was his work around to Demeter's promise of preventing Hades from having something of hers that he truly desired.

Reckless

Hades' recklessness wasn't something I initially picked up on when first reading this comic. However, when doing a more thorough read, it is evident that this behavior is behind many of his actions.

The sleep dive chapter bothered me so much because not only was he not listening to his wife at all, but he acted like they were somehow the victims in this situation which was… certainly a choice. And she had to talk him off a way by having sex with him which just felt so icky to me. Not to mention, he initially wanted to confront Kronos without a plan because HIS pride was at risk. Both of these situations can also be classed as “reckless disregard for safety as self”.

Hades was also reckless in rushing into his relationship and marriage with Persephone. She says she wants to take it slow, he pushes boundaries. She says she wants to live in her own apartment so naturally they move in together 3 episodes later. She wants to take time for them to date and know each other? Nope, he rushes right into that god-forsaken proposal. I don't think I have much else to say on this topic without sounding like a broken record, but this is a behavior that should raise a warning in readers' minds about Hades' ability to make good choices, not only as a person but as a king.

Dishonorable Mentions

There are some “dishonorable mentions” that I think could’ve taken the main stage but I’m not going to go in-depth about them for a few reasons (such as Tumblr's 30-picture limit). They include:

Excuses/Lack of Remorse about the treatment of characters (217, 253)

This mainly concerns Thanatos and Demeter, the two people Hades most often antagonizes. In my opinion, neither party got a proper apology from Hades, just half-assed excuses. Hades blamed his childhood circumstances for the way he treated Thanatos (which funny, Kronos does the same thing with Hera) and his way of making up for that is offering him a sandwitch which just.

Wow. Truly inspiring parenting skills right there.

Not to mention that in the finale Rachel writes that Thanatos and Hades barely talk with each other?? So much for making amends or whatever.

As for Demeter, Hades makes an excuse about how by Demeter "taking away his volcanos", she would remove his only tie to the mortal realm which... I guess we're supposed to feel bad about? As if Hades frequently visits the mortal realm anyways. I suppose it's the principle of the matter, but I still think it's a half-assed apology, especially considering it's been hundreds of years since Demeter was screwed over as queen of the Mortal Realm. And I know Hades also brough back Demophoon, Demeter's "son", but let's be real, it was just to get brownie points with Demeter.

Inappropriate treatment of Persephone in the workplace (40, 41, 44, 59, 88, 107, 178)

Now, I'm unsure if the way I'm interpreting "consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior..." is, in fact, correct, but I'm going to err on the side of caution and mention Hades' treatment of Persephone in the workplace. This is something I mentioned in Minthe's section, but it is irresponsible and inappropriate of Hades as Persephone's boss to treat her the way he does. The private lunches, the tours, hours spent together not working, the list goes on. Not to mention Hades keeps swinging back and forth between trying to treat Persephone as an employee under him and trying to get her under him.

Alcoholism

Hades' alcoholism goes without saying. It has pretty much been known from the very beginning that Hades has an issue with drinking excessively, to the point where Zeus even snarks to Persephone that where Hades is, there's likely booze. Which... is he wrong? Is he? I don't have a whole lot to say on this subject, I just figured I'd bring it up since substance use disorders are frequently associated with ASPD.

Final thoughts

It’s incredible how Hades got older but never seemed to grow up. Granted, something might have been stunted due to the abuse he suffered as a child, but this is also the man who called his therapist a quack so I can only feel so much sympathy for someone who bemoans their situation but refuses to get help *cough*the afterward chapter*cough*. It's very clear that Hades as also been enabled and coddled to the point of being able to unlearn his behaviors and anyone who tries to stand up to him or does something to displease him suffers his wrath.

Overall, while I was not in Rachel's head while writing Hades' character (and I frankly didn't want to be), this is one of my best guesses about what is wrong with Hades. It’s pretty obvious that Rachel never intended to write Hades as someone who presented with anything other than PTSD, but it’s still kind of shocking how many boxes Hades checks off for other psychological disorders. Again, I'm not a professional psychologist, I don't have any kind of degree, I just know a lot about the subject and I love throwing myself into research. All of the information I have gathered has come from credible sources such as the DSM 5 and other similar sites that cite the DSM 5 in their sources. I will see you soon in part 2 when I discuss Hades and Narcisistic Personality Disorder.