#all these stories are so funny

[liquidstar]

Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.

[chloesimaginationthings]

This is Scott Cawthon’s biggest regret in FNAF..

[foldingfittedsheets]

I was talking to a coworker recently and offhandedly said I wasn’t exactly competent at a lot of things. He reared back in obvious visceral disagreement that made me stop midsentence.

“What do you mean you’re not competent?”

“I guess I mean compared to the people I’m surrounded by? I’m not very handy, I guess.”

He looked baffled.

I tried to illuminate with a story. So at the sex shop we needed to vacuum every night, right? But one time after my days off I could tell the carpets hadn’t been vacuumed since I last saw them. I asked the other girls why not. It turned out that the screw that held the handle on the vacuum had been stripped and it wouldn’t stay in. Why was that down to a single screw? Bad design.

So any attempt to vacuum meant the handle just popped off when the screw jumped ship. I looked over the vacuum. I found a junk drawer. I found the biggest screw I could that still fit in the hole wrapped it in tape to bulk it out. Then I shoved/screwed it in place. Then I duct taped the opening so that fucker couldn’t pop out. Voila, a working handle.

The other girls were utterly delighted that I’d fixed the vacuum but I was painfully aware that my solution was neither elegant nor long term.

My coworker listened. Finally he said, “I think being competent just means you have the ability to learn a skill you lack, and you can do that. Your solution worked, and you were the one that tried to fix the problem.”

I digested that and agreed, but admitted any new skill learned would prompt me to be a huge baby about it.

[aethersea]

I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.

it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"

plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.

anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.

[aingeal98]

The way Orv will dangle the basic premise in front of you like a set of keys and have you going "Ha! So Joonghyuk is the novel's protagonist but Dokja is OUR main character." and you're so busy enjoying that layer of meta text that you don't notice their other hand winding up the Han Sooyoung hammer to whack you with.

[egophiliac]

i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada

thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.

also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!

not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops

[saturated-silences-art]

Sokka, the plan guy, realizing that he too is capable of some catastrophic, Zuli-level strategic moves…

Based on that scene of @lovelyelbowleech’s War Games.

[technically-human]

Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?

Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?

It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3

Glad you asked

ko-fi

[morganbritton132]

Eddie, posting to his socials: Pro-tip! If you had a questionable childhood and you’re thinking of throwing out some lore about your past, maybe think twice before describing it as a funny story.

Eddie: Maybe say to yourself, ‘Hmm, would I think this was funny if one of my thirteen year old students told me this? Would this make me immensely sad hearing it from a child?’ before deciding to violently vibe check your husband with the saddest fucking thing I’ve heard in a while.

Steve, off-screen:

Steve: First of all, I agreed with you. Saying it out loud, it’s not a funny story. My bad.

Steve: Second, do not describe my childhood as ‘lore.’ I’m not an elf in your nerd shit.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what

[mammalsofaction]

Something incredibly annoying when dealing with non-pnf stans when discussing with PnF is discussion of Candace being accidentally gaslit by her mother. In that they assume everyone is in on the fact to make Candace feel like she's crazy. NOBODY ELSE is doing that. In fact, nobody BUT Candace seems to understand the whole brunt of the situation.

The backyard gang are not "bullying" Candace or keeping her from telling her mom. In fact, they tell Linda about it themselves MULTIPLE TIMES. They talk about it off handedly a bunch of times too. Theyre just also 10, and Linda thinks it's part of the "games". She thinks theyre being imaginative. Theyre NOT. The backyard gang is NOT lying to her, and they are NOT perpetuating the assumption that Candace is crazy. Linda just doesnt believe them. The backyard gang doesn't KNOW this. THEY ALL THINK LINDA KNOWS.

LAWRENCE is not perpetuating the idea that Candace is crazy. He ALSO thinks Linda knows. HE HAS SEEN the backyard projects a bunch of times, and HE TELLS Linda about them TOO. However, and this is important, he only ever sees the cute, relaxed and sweet projects, and never the potentially dangerous or fatal ones, so he thinks Candace is being anxious and overprotective. Which she is, but that's a separate issue. LAWRENCE is not lying. HE thinks Linda knows.

JEREMY has seen the projects and parties. He talks about them at length, and how cool Phineas and Ferb are! He's never lied. He thinks Linda knows.

STACY has seen the projects and parties. She FREQUENTLY vouches for Candace. But shes Candace's best friend, so of course Linda doesnt believe her.

EVERYBODY EITHER THINKS LINDA ALREADY KNOWS, OR HAVE CLOSE ATTACHMENTS TO CANDACE SO LINDA DOESNT BELIEVE THEM ANYWAY.

Linda isnt doing it on purpose. NOBODY is lying.

DO i think Linda should believe her daughter now and then? And should Lawrence stick up for her more? Of course I do. But it's not malicious. Just....a bit neglectful. But Candace's assumption that everyone is against her is largely perpetuated in her own head and anxieties and miseries. She ISN'T alone. People ARE on her side, and she has more allies than she thinks. There are MULTIPLE episodes where Phineas and Ferb try to bust THEMSELVES (AKA attempt to show Linda their project with her own eyes) when she simply asks them to. A lot of people think she's really cool, and caring, and her brothers think shes unironically, absolutely AWESOME. Which has been the point of many episodes, AS WELL AS Candace against the Universe.

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Into the pit got William Afton a new hater..

[darkeneddawning]

Escaped clone au

You know all those fics where Danny and Damian are twins but everyone first assumes Danny must be a clone? How about an au where Danny is Damian's clone who escaped the League after he was assumed dead. Damian could even have been the one to have "killed" him, back when Danny was a newly created, fully brainwashed clone minion and trying to kill Damian himself.

Danny gets adopted by the Fentons and canon goes on as normal, until Dan. Witnessing what would happen to the world should he turn evil really drove home to Danny how dangerous he is.

Even if he was confident he could be trusted with his absurd amount of power (which he isn't), what if the League of Assassins found out about him? Does he still have programming triggers from his evil assassin clone conditioning?

So, Danny does the responsible thing: he goes to Batman to turn himself in.

Cue Danny showing up on Bruce's doorstep with ghost hunting equipment, intel on the afterlife, and an almost unbelievable backstory. Somehow he still managed to be more well-adjusted than Damian.

More thoughts under the read more

Here's how I'm thinking Danny leaving the League went down:

After surviving his wounds but failing his mission, Danny (then an unnamed potential Damian replacement) knew there was no point in returning to the League. As a failure, he was meant to be disposed of. He even thought of simply allowing himself to perish, since that was what the League would do.

But he couldn't help but feel as though that would be a waste of a resource. Surely he could be of more use to the League alive than dead?

That tiny bit of rebellious logic is what caused Danny to go into hiding, only living on based on the off chance he would find opportunities to further the League's goals. Obviously, that mentality didn't last long after being exposed to the real world and meeting one Jazz Fenton.

Being adopted by the Fentons was the best cover Danny could have asked for, since any odd behavior he couldn't hide while he was learning how to be "normal" was totally overshadowed by the sheer bizarre eccentricity of his new parents. He was still the neighborhood weird kid, but even that was a major upgrade from disposable tool, so Danny considered it a win.

Anyway, if anyone likes this idea, please feel free to have at it! Interpret it as you please :)

[swampybogg]

[forgettable-au]

Does Flowey exist in this au?

Yes, he does.

Everything's pretty much the same when it comes to the regular story in this AU. It's just the past, especifically Papyrus' past (wich we don't know much about to begin with) that changes

Actually Flowey is one of the main characters in the story! (the main story of this au is divided between the past before the game and a post-pacifist timeline:D)

He and Papyrus will have a fun dynamic

-some thought I had in tags behind the keep reading

Srry for the spelling mistakes in here but I can't go and fix tags because I would end up erasing everything😭tumblr struggles

[s-h-a-s-e]

tfw you return to your home dimension only to find your house turned into a tourist trap and filled to the rafters with kids

based on this super cute fic that I love :)

close-ups and alts below the cut↴