#all of her health stuff done and ready to go

[novathesheltie]

I don’t think I mentioned it here but…Koa is also making the big move across the pond and coming to France in December!!

[ericshoney]

Sweetheart ~ Sturniolo Triplets

Warnings: mentions of mental health, coping mechanisms, implied ADHD!Reader, slight innocent!reader, use of pet names (kid, sweetheart, petal, bub) in a platonic way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today you woke up at twelve full of energy. It wasn't unusual for you to wake up as a bundle of joy, but the time you woke was. You usually wake up at around two or three in the afternoon, not twelve.

You had slept in Nick's bed for the night, your own room being too "boring", or that's what you told Nick as you climbed into his bed to sleep. Not that it was unusual, you and Chris both struggled to sleep alone, sometimes you'd both share a bed, giving Nick and Matt a break.

When you woke, you saw Nick still asleep besides you. Not wanting to wake him, you slowly get up and go take a shower, getting ready for the day. After a bit, you heard Nick shout.

"You in the shower, kid?" He called.

"Yeah! Nearly done!" You shouted back.

You heard him mumble an okay before you quickly finished and got out, drying your hair as you walked back into the bedroom, seeing Nick sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone.

"Morning sweetheart." He said softly.

"Morning, how long was I?" You asked.

"Bout twenty minutes." He answered, making you nod.

Nick then went to shower and get ready as you headed downstairs to the kitchen, seeing Matt and Chris both awake. The two greeted you as you sat on the counter, swinging your legs.

"Your wearing odd socks." Matt mentioned, noticing your pink and blue socks.

"I got bored trying to find a matching pair." You confessed.

"Don't worry, petal. I'll sort it out later." He said with a soft smile. You returned it as Chris started showing you some edits on TikTok.

Nick soon joined the three of you as you then began discussing what you wanted to do for the day. The guys had a pre-filmed video so the day was yours.

"What about Target? Or the park? Or mini golf! Or what about bowling!" You rambled on quickly, making the triplets smile.

"We can do all of them bub, where to first?" Chris replied.

"Umm the park! No bowling! No mini golf! Target! Wait we haven't eaten so food!" You answered quickly.

"Sweetheart, take a deep breath. How about we go to Target, get some food and head to the park first?" Matt suggested calmly.

"Then we can go to mini golf." Nick continued.

"And end the day with bowling." Chris finished.

"Sounds good! Let's go!" You cheered, rushing to the stairs down to the car, the trio laughing softly.

"I'll get her shoes." Chris mentioned, grabbing a pair of your Converse.

By the time the triplets made it to the car, you were already sat in the back having unlocked the car, and playing a game on your phone.

"Bub, your forgetting something." Chris said, as Matt started the car. You looked up and realised he was holding your shoes.

"Oh right." You giggled, slipping them on and putting your feet on Nick's lap, letting him do your laces.

"To Target!" You cheered.

Music began to play as you looked out the window, watching the world go by and before you knew it, you had arrived at Target. The guys got out first before you, something they always did, in case you walked out in front of a car from being distracted.

"I'm gonna get some sour gummy worms!" You said, already excited for the sweet treats.

"Kid, you don't need anymore sugar." Nick said with a laugh. You stuck your tongue out as you all went into the large store.

You all started looking around, grabbing some stuff you wanted for now or later, Chris grabbed a large case of Pepsi saying he was running low, but you knew there were at least ten cans in the fridge. You then drifted away from the guys, a few fidget toys grabbing your attention.

~~~~

As you looked at the different toys, Nick, Matt and Chris started to panic, not seeing you by their side. The trio were protective over you and knew you didn't like being alone, so losing you in a large store wasn't good.

"She was just here!" Matt exclaimed.

"Where would she go?" Chris questioned.

"There!" Nick shouted, pointing out your small figure by the end of the toy aisle. You had a good handful of fidget toys now.

The three rushed over to you as you looked up at them with a sheepish smile. Knowing you made them panic.

"I got distracted..." You mumbled, holding the fidget toys.

"It's okay, petal, but tell us next time. Or grab one of us." Matt said gently, running a hand through your hair.

"Yeah bub, we don't wanna lose you in Target." Chris added.

"We're not mad." Nick reassured you, knowing you were thinking that.

"Okay! But look at these! They light up too!" You cheered, showing the brothers the toys you found. They smiled, knowing you were happy.

"We'll get all of them, sweetheart." Nick said, taking them to hold, in case anything else caught your interest.

You smiled wide as you all continued shopping before heading off to the park. The guys cherished days like this with you, knowing you'd get a lot of your energy out and be extra happy.

[reverieblondie]

Late Night Dip

Pairing: Rolan x Fem!Tav Reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Smut with Plot, Fingering, Tail play, Teasing, Praise, Unprotected Penetrative Sex (Please wrap before you tap), G-whiz Position.

Summary: Cal and Lia are worried about their brother, he's just so stressed and needs a break! Good thing you have an idea that could help...

A/N: Rolan is hot, and I'm not going to apologize. I want to give him everything. More fics of my other favorite fictional men coming soon!

Word Count: 4,774

“Please, you have to get him out of that tower! You're the only one who he will listen to!” 

You almost spit out your drink from Cal’s comment and look at him bewildered, “Uh, You must be confused you're talking about Rolan? Mr. Know it all? The arch workaholic? He's not going to listen to me.” 

Lia leans against the bar dramatically, “Could you just give it a try, please? We have tried everything we could think of to get him to take some time off to destress but nothing has worked. We are hoping that because he has a soft spot for you he will listen to you.”

A scoff leaves you, “Rolan does not have a soft spot for me…” 

Lia and Cal share a quick look before Cal speaks up again. 

“Just one try, for his health. I swear every time I’m near him I can feel his tension radiate off him, take him out somewhere so he can unwind, and if he rejects you I will buy your drinks for two weeks.” 

Closing your eyes you consider the chore. Seeing Rolan isn’t a bad thing you love getting any excuse to see that handsome face. Though pulling him from his work would not be an easy feat, but…you do enjoy teasing him, those looks he gives you when you get under his skin always sends a rush of heat to rise to your cheeks. Plus if he is overworking himself you can’t let that happen to your favorite wizard (sorry Gale). Maybe this would be a good push to your friendship to move to more…romantical areas….plus there was that spot you wanted to take him and tonight is as good of a time as any. If all else fails and Rolan heartbreakingly rejects you for a night outing at least you will get free drinks for the next two weeks to wash away the pain.

“Okay, I will handle it, but be ready to have to buy a lot of ale for the next two weeks Cal,” you say as you gather your stuff and step towards the doors. Cal and Lia watch as you walk out of the tavern into the night towards Ramazith Tower. 

“Think there's a chance he will reject her and we will have to deal with a tense Rolan?” Cal asks Lia worriedly. 

Lia scoffs and settles herself on a seat at the bar, “Please, Rolan can’t deny her, and even if he wants to pretend he can, do you think she’s going to take no for an answer?” 

“Those two are really into each other huh?” 

“Yeah, Let's hope one of them finally realizes it and does something about it tonight. I have a bet with Larkissa that Tav makes the first move, and I want my 50 gold.”

Wow, they were right…he looks so stressed.

Your eyes watch as Rolan's taut back stays hunched over the journal he is scribbling in as he studies an old-looking tome. The only part that moves on him is his hand and he writes in a frantic motion. His golden eyes peering at the tome then back to his journal as he continues, it's clear he has been at this for a while. 

Leaning against the doorway you study his profile for a bit longer. Hair was done in its elaborate bun to hide his ears, brows underneath his well-kept horns furrowed in irritation, and the most perfect nose in all of Faerûn. Let's see if we can’t get him to scrunch it in irritation. 

“And what happened to the master of Ramaziths Tower? Worked so hard he died from stress, he was so young…” 

Rolan seems surprised for a moment before he turns his head to see your smug grin, this earns you an eye roll,  “What happened to the Hero of Baldur's Gate? Oh, she pushed her luck too many times and was thunder waved out of Ramazith's Tower.” 

Sontering in you wave him off dismissively, “See you're so tired you're unable to come up with your own insults. That means it’s time you take a break.” 

Scoffing, he turns away from you going back to scribbling away, “You sound like Cal and Lia…” 

“They did send me to get you.”

“Of course they did” 

Getting closer you see the swarm of papers and books he’s been busying himself with, ignoring it all you sit on his desk and look down at him as he writes. He seems to look at your legs for a moment before shaking his head and going back to what he was writing. Usually, he would be nagging you about your poor manners and the fact that you are bothering him, must be too tired to fight. You watch him as he slowly starts up his work again trying to ignore your ass so close to his hands crushing his papers. His nose is starting to scrunch and you can only smile with a sweet taunting hum. Crossing your legs gets his attention one more time before he mumbles something to himself. 

“Work, work, work, write, write, write, Rot, rot, rot” you chant in a sing-song voice as you shake your foot bumping him slightly.  

“Must you annoy me?” he grumbles

“You're just annoyed because you're so pent up with stress, come on let's go out.” 

Rolan looks up at you and furrows his brows, nose still scrunched, “I’m annoyed because of everyone constantly pestering me when I have a thousand things to do. I’m not going anywhere and I am not…pent up…” 

You let out a loud sigh, “Oh come on Rolan you're so pent up with stress you could pop, just a small break, a nice stress-free night will do you some good, then we will leave you alone to be the great grump of Ramaziths. Plus I have something I want to show you that I found the other day.” 

Rolan keeps his head down scribbling, “It will be really fun.” you coo

He continues to ignore you. You frown before leaning down to his ear. “Please…” you whisper softly

Rolan stops his writing and groans. 

“Come on Rolan! Just a bit further!” 

“Where the hells are you taking me!” 

“It's a surprise! Now hurry up!” 

You're both running in the forest outside of the gate, you're ahead of him leading the way but you can hear the snapping of twigs and slight infernal cusses as he tries to keep up. You can't help but laugh as he continues his grumpy pursuit. Finally, you reach your destination with a bright smile on your face as you wait for Rolan to emerge from the thicket. Biting your lip in expectation you bounce on the heels of your feet, this will be perfect…

You had found this place on one of your walks and knew that you would have to come back, and bringing Rolan only made it all the better. A secret hot spring is hidden away in the thick forest, perfect for two. The water looks as if it glows a cyan blue, it seems to glitter underneath the full moonlight. Your eyes watch as the steam from the water rises to the vast starlit sky. This will be perfect for relieving stress. 

Finally, you hear him come into the clearing, his once pristine appearance is now a mess with twigs in his now messy hair and robes covered in dirt from where he must have fallen trying to keep up with you. The smile on your face never falters and he approaches you with an unamused look. He looks past you at the heated water and raises an eyebrow.

“A hot spring? You know if you wanted to bathe…” 

Rolan's words halt as you start loosening the strings of your bodice. Looking up you meet his golden eyes and smirk at his surprised face as you drop your bodice to the ground. His eyes widen and his lips slightly part before he turns away quickly. 

“Come on Rolan, a late night dip under the stars. You can’t beat that. Plus I bet once that water hits your skin all your stress will melt away.”

You start stripping off your undershirt quickly followed by your pants. Your eyes watch Rolan's back as it seems to tense at each sound of your clothes rustling and falling. His tail whips around seemingly uncontrollably, before wrapping around his leg, you're still trying to figure out if it is from excitement or irritation.  

“You have been traveling with Halsin for too long…” 

You laugh at the comment, “Well, he is rather wise, learned a lot from him while on our journey…”

Rolan's tail twitches before he turns around quickly to face you. His eyes widen as he sees your scantily clad undergarments, not like you went and changed before going to fetch him…

He turns back around quickly “Like what…” he mutters, is he? Jealous… 

“Just…things…” you say almost tauntingly. You just can’t resist, from the moment you two started becoming friends you two have been taunting and teasing at every opportunity.  Sometimes you don’t know if you want to punch him or kiss him. Though now…you can only think of one thing…

Taking off your undergarments and then by complete ‘accident’ you toss them towards his feet. He looks down at them for a second before you watch his tail rise slightly before falling back down and lifting his head to look up at the starry sky. 

“I’ve learned things from my other companions as well…”  you say softly, almost too sweetly

A nervous laugh seems to rise harshly from his chest. Slowly you approach Rolan, you're being extremely quiet and you're completely bare. “Like Astarion for example” Right behind him now you look up at his tightly set bun, and with a quick moment you pluck the tie keeping it up out, That should loosen him some, “taught me to sneak up on people to take things.”

Rolan starts to turn his head but seems to stop himself remembering you're now naked. Not that you would mind his golden eyes taking you all in. With his hair now down you finally see his sharply pointed ears, they are cute and with their marron coloring at the tips completely giving away how embarrassed he is at the moment. Part of you wants to take the opportunity to be naughty and nibble on his ear while playing with his loose hair. Best not to push your luck however.  

Proud of successfully teasing him you decide to finally get into the water. Stepping carefully into the calm water the heat craseing your skin immediately relaxes you. The water is the perfect temperature and you quickly sink in and swim around enjoying yourself with pleasant sighs. Turning your head you see Rolan watching with what you think is a smile on his face.  

“Come on in, the water is great!”

“Dry land is also great.” 

“So you're just going to let me swim alone?” you watch as Rolan thinks for a moment “It's very relaxing…” you coo 

He finally sighs, “Fine…just to make sure you don’t drown out here…” 

“Lucky me ~”

Instead of ripping his clothes off quickly and jumping into the water ready to confess his desires to you as you hoped, Rolan instead brings his hands to undo his collar slowly and methodically. Somehow the slow stripping is not only frustrating you but also exciting you, the robe rolls off his shoulders and he takes the time to fold it up neatly. A tightening in your lower stomach is driving you mad, how hard is it to undress quickly? 

Opening your mouth to give him a hard time your comment gets halted in your throat. Rolan lifts his red undershirt over his head exposing his chest lined with beautiful ridges. The ridges seem to lead your eyes along his surprisingly athletic build, the moonlight shining on his body showing off just how toned he is; tense muscles being stretched as he raises his arms to relieve some tension from being so confined. He’s been hiding all this under those robes? That's just criminal…

Then his hands go for his belt and you're completely caught in a trance mouth slightly parting as he undoes the first button, seeming to remember your presence in the shining spring his golden eyes lock with yours and all your previous nerve leaves as your heart lurches. Quickly you turn around breaking his gaze, you swear you hear a slight chuckle before the clearing of his throat. Closing your eyes you chastise yourself for being a pervert, but that still doesn’t stop the image of his bare body replaying over and over in your mind running through all the possibilities the night could hold.  

Sounds of sloshing water along with a sigh breaks you from your thoughts. Turning you can’t help but smile at what looks like a very blushy Rolan, feeling nice you give him a round of applause as he settles in the warm water.

Rolan rolls his eyes, “Your an idiot” 

“What, I thought you liked adoring applause?” 

Rolan ignores your comment, shaking his head as he cups the shimmering water in his hands. You take the time to admire him trying to relax the best he can, his loose hair hovering softly over his shoulders, you see that not only do his freckles decorate his face, but they are also peppered against his tense shoulders. With a quick motion, Rolan brings the spring water towards his face, rubbing the water against his face then keeping his hands over his eyes for a long moment. You watch him confused by him keeping his eyes covered.  

“What are you doing?” 

A sigh leaves his nose before he responds, “Relaxing”

Getting closer you do a testing poke to his left shoulder, and an irritated groan leaves his chest. 

“You don’t seem relaxed…” 

“I’m working on it.”

“Maybe you should try swimming around then?”

Rolan pulls his hands from his eyes, golden irises glow as his ardent gaze lands on you. Suddenly you're hyper-aware of how close you two have drifted and how bare you are right underneath the cyan water. All your previous nerve starts to sink away being replaced by a growing flush to your skin. 

Rolan lifts a brow leaning down slightly to take in your face, you put on your best poker face to seem unbothered through Rolan quickly sees past it and is ready to tease you, “Heat finally getting to you?” 

“No”

“Then why are you so red?” 

“Why are you so red?” 

Rolan folds his arms over his chest and you roll your eyes, “redder than usual” 

“What do you expect? It’s hot.” 

“Aren't tieflings like…heat resistant?” 

Rolan goes to argue back but he seems to be unable to think of anything so he turns his back towards you muttering under his breath. 

Turned away, you trace the paths left by his infernal ancestors. He seemed to have relaxed when teasing you, but now…

“You can feel the tension radiating off….” 

Rolan's ears seem to perk up and he glances at you. 

You sigh, “I was hoping to help…”

“I…you…” Rolan sighs collecting his thoughts, a cuss slips his lips before he starts again, “You are helping…I just…” Rolan takes his hand to cover his eyes again, “I don’t know how to let myself relax…” 

Carefully you reach your hands to rub his back, he practically feels like a board, so tense under your fingers. You lean your head to rest on him.

“Rolan, let me…try something….” 

You continue to rub his back and shoulders gently working out the knots. Right as he seems to start to relax he tenses up again. A soft hum leaves you as you continue to work down his back. Dropping from his shoulders you use his ridges to guide you, softly you rub his shoulder blades feeling the sharp tips. When you touch them you feel Rolan tense and lean forward slightly. 

“Am I hurting you?” 

Rolan looks over his shoulder, his eyes moving from your flushed shoulders following the drips running back into the cloudy water keeping the rest of you hidden, only enough for his imagination to run wild. “No, I’m just…not used to being touched like this.” 

“I could stop…”

You keep your hands on his spine, trying to savor this moment in case he says yes. You close your eyes and keep your hands as gentle as possible hoping he won't say yes, that he won’t move away. Just keeping this moment touching his warm skin for a bit longer…

“Don’t stop…it's helping me” 

Biting down the smile on your lips you continue to rub his back blindly moving through the water. Over time you get lower slightly rubbing above the base of his tail. A steady sigh leaves Rolan's chest as you continue to work. You even feel all your nerves starting to settle in this perfect moment, then suddenly a wrapping around your calf startles you enough to let out a yipe. Rolan, snapping back to reality goes to retreat his tail and move away from you, but before he can run away you quickly grab his wrist. He pauses for a second, then he turns towards you, your eyes wide, lips trembling for the words to say.  

It only takes a moment before Rolan pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you suddenly and burying his face into the crook of your neck. 

“I’m sorry…” 

“D-don’t be…” 

Rolan moves his face from your neck and you feel your body heating up as his shining eyes watch you, slowly roaming from your eyes to your glossy lips, then down to where your chest is pressing against his. 

Rolan's eyes linger for a moment before he brings his head down to whisper, “You feel like you're burning up…” 

All you can do as you feel his clawed hands moving slowly down your back is nod and lean into him further. Touching him now he seems much more relaxed, more open, confident. Right as you're settling yourself on his chest you whisper the words he’s been waiting to hear. 

“Kiss me…” 

Quickly you feel his hand lifting your chin and then meeting your lips for an almost too eager kiss, but you had been wanting this equally as bad. Rolan's lips are soft and assertive as he leads you through the kiss. The familiar feeling of his tail sliding up your leg no longer draws a gasp from you but a wanting moan, craving for his warmth to further engulf you. Rolan, always striving for more, lifts your arms to wrap around his neck as he slips his smooth tongue in your mouth to get a taste of you. It's deep, and teasing as it slides against yours making you meet his enthusiasm, and driving you to want more. Before long you find yourself with fist fulls of his loose hair while his sharp nails dig into the fat of your ass, Pressing you into his hardened shaft, it practically throbs on your thigh. 

As you start breaking from the kiss to fully catch your breath Rolan bites on your lower lip, careful not to break the delicate skin, only enough pressure to have you whine before he’s releasing it from his sharp teeth. You're a panting mess feeling like your body is on fire, the spring, his hot touch, your blazing arousal dripping down your thighs; it's all starting to be too much for you. Rolan brushes his nose to yours to bring you back from your fuzzing mind. 

“I think it's time you get out. You're as red as me now.” his rich voice taunts 

A quick laugh leaves you before it’s ripped from you abruptly. Rolan almost as quickly as he kisses you, he lifts you guiding you to wrap your legs around his waist. With shocking little effort, Rolan carries you out of the hot spring back to the dry bank. The sudden chill of the air nipping at your skin should leave you shivering, but wrapped in Rolan's warm limps you find yourself perfectly comfortable. 

Playfully you twist and pull the strains of his soft hair. “Not to sound like an insult but I’m surprised you're able to carry me. I didn’t think wizards were all that strong?” 

You're both out of the water, dripping on the springs bank still wrapped tightly in his hold. Rolan rolls his eyes at your statement before responding with a smirk, “Well you should know that no wizard can match me, from my talent to my strength.” 

It’s your turn to roll your eyes now and as you do he bounces you within his arms forcing you to grab him tighter making him laugh at you.

“Well, you are definitely relaxed now.” 

“I am, I should thank you, Hero.” 

You feel yourself getting wetter from his sultry words, “How do you plan on doing that, Archmage?

His eyes spark with something and he grins allowing you to see his sharp canines and molars, “I’m thinking I’m going to fuck you on the bank of this hot spring. Is that what you want?” 

Leaning in you breathe into his pointed ears, “Yes…” 

Then in the next moment, you feel his lips leaving messy kisses over your neck causing you to hold on tighter as Rolan slowly lowers you to the cool ground. The chill of the forest floor on your back makes a shiver rush your spine causing your nipples to perk and your body to shake. A whine leaves your chest and a smile stretches to his lips as he pulls away from you, his shining eyes roam over your body as he carefully moves his hands to your hips and adjusts to a kneel. Slightly digging in his nails, he pulls your body causing his length to brush your slick sex. 

The heat of his cock pressed on your soft flesh makes you shut your eyes with a whimper, he’s not even in you, and your whining. 

“Keep your eyes on me.” his voice commands as his hands lift your legs onto his textured shoulders. 

Finally opening your eyes you see his eyes watching you as he presses a kiss to your inner knee before taking a quick nip to it causing your hips to buckle forward. 

That only feeds his ego, “Don’t tell me you're sensitive…” 

You narrow your eyes, “if you were underneath me I would have you whimpering, so don’t get cocky.” 

Rolan lets out a laugh as he looks down at your spread sex, wet and quivering for him. You can hear his tail begging to swish behind in excitement. 

“We will have to test that on a different night…You look too perfect spread open and waiting for me.” Rolan taunts as he brings his hand to slide his fingers over your glistening cunt, then rubbing slow circles to your swollen clit. 

The sensation of his dexterous fingers stimulating your bud causes you to grind your hips on him for more. Falling deeper into the pleasure you feel your lower stomach twist as waves of heat flood your body. You can’t help but shut your eyes with a shivering breath as soft moans slip through your lips. 

Rolan tsk as he suddenly pinches your clit making you gasp and shoot your eyes open.  “Keep your eyes on me. Understand?” 

You quickly nod, keeping your eyes on his gorgeous face. His fingers slide to your entrance, slipping his middle finger slowly to rub your soft fluttering walls. Watching you intensely he slips in a second finger curling the long digits in your velvety insides. Moans of his name and pleads flow out of your lips as he keeps a steady tempo. 

“You're being so obedient…that's new for you…” 

You open your mouth to say something, but before you can Rolan twists his fingers to the spot that's making you see stars. Rolan seeing your slack jaw expression speeds up his motions. The twisting in your lower stomach gets tighter and tighter as you look at Rolan with pleading eyes. Seeing your expression and feeling your walls clamping down on him, he knows you're closer and he brings his tail to flick on your clit as his other hand keeps your grinding hips in a firm hold. 

You are panting as you dig your fingers into the ground you feel the coil in your stomach about to snap. Rolan's eyes are on you, staring intensely as he studies every one of your expressions, he looks divine. 

“F-Feels so-so good!” You scream breathlessly 

He smiles at your stammering, getting excited from your praise. “Yeah? Then cum for me.” 

Nodding absently mindlessly you feel his tail flick faster and his fingers curl deeper so perfectly making your coil suddenly snap and your body explode in a wave of white-hot ecstasy as you feel yourself squirt on his fingers, running down his hands and thighs now. 

 “Prefect…” Rolan whispers as he watches you come down from your high while slowly rubbing your release over his swollen cock. 

“You want more?” he asks as he lines himself up to your tight slit. 

“Please~” You hum out blissfully, feeling his ridged length’s heat radiating onto you. 

Rolan chuckles with a shake of his head, “So greedy…” 

He braces his hand tightly on your hip as he pushes the heat of his dick into your cunt. It’s hot and intense as it slides and stretches you. Your walls clench as you moan his name as his ridges rub your insides deliciously. Your thighs tighten as he pushes into you fully, his nails digging into you as his cock throbs as you adjust to him. 

“Gods you feel good” he sighs in pleasure. He moves his eyes from where he’s buried within you to your blissed-out face. Rolan brings a hand to cup your cheek and you melt into his touch, turning your face to kiss his palm before giving him a nod that you are ready. 

Rolan presses kisses on the insides of your legs again as he brings his hands to your waist. Slowly he starts positioning into you, your eyes roll back as his strokes nudge his burning cock right into your spongy spot that's making you mew shamelessly at every thrust. Rolan picks up his thrusting as he feels your walls clenching on him. 

“You're taking-ta-taking me so well darling.” he groans, throwing his head back as his balls slap against you. 

Rolan moves your hips up and down to match his thrust as his breathing quickens. Squirming and curling your toes you feel yourself approaching your climax again, but this time you're desperate to have Rolan cum with you. 

Rocking your hips against him faster you drive him deeper as his cock now rubs your cervix and your walls lick his ridges.  “Rolan, you're amazing! Fantastic! I’m yours whenever you want me! Fuck! Right there!” 

Rolan’s sweating skin further flushes at your praise and his moans turn into broken whines as he fucks you faster and bounces you at the perfect pace. 

With a couple more thrusts that familiar rush floods you as you arch your back mindlessly screaming as you make a mess over Rolan's cock. With your orgasm quivering and sucking him in he stills and squeezes you tightly as his dick throbs and spurts his burning cum deep within you. Stars slowly fade from your vision as you focus on a panting Rolan still buried deep in you. 

With hooded eyes you give a lazy smile, Rolan eyes are glazed over but still focused on you as he smiles back at you. Slowly he pulls out and you wince at the feeling of the sudden emptiness. Rolan settles beside you and carefully holds you to his chest as his tail wraps around your ankle gently. 

“Rest with me for a while…then come back to the tower with me.” 

You hum in agreement as you let your relaxed state move you to one of sleep. Perfectly warm and perfectly relaxed wrapped in each other's arms. 

Larkissa is busy drying the goblets behind the bar to prepare for tonight's service. A tapping of nails on the counter gets her attention away from the task. She turns her head to see a smirking Lia. 

“A bet is a bet and I want my 50 gold,” Lia says, holding out her hand. 

Larkissa huffs and digs in her pockets, She will have to scold Rolan for not being assertive enough to make the first move.

[forhappysake]

Fluffy Surprise

Author's Note: Not proofread and the first fic I've written in like six months so read if you dareeee

Summary: Reader decides to give Spencer a present when he returns to their new home.

Warnings: People with cat allergies, beware! (?) Fluff ofc.

You moved into the new house two weeks ago.  Technically, you moved all your stuff into the new house two weeks ago. In boxes. Lots and lots of heavy boxes.

Spencer had come up with a system, labeling each box with the room it would go into at the new house. You had worked together to pack everything, label each box, and unload the boxes into your new home. 

And it seemed like the moment he set the last box down and you were ready to start setting the place up, his phone rang. 

Spencer had been gone for one week. 

The case was halfway across the country, somewhere in Santa Fe. You couldn’t exactly be mad at him for being gone, but unpacking and trying to organize everything without his input was a nightmare. You were finishing the last box in your shared bedroom, carefully placing his clothes on wooden hangers and organizing them in the closet, when your phone rang. 

Spencer’s name lit up the screen. You answered quickly. 

“Hi, Spence,” you said, plopping down on the freshly made bed.

You could tell how tired he was from the long pause he took before responding. “Hey, honey. How’s the unpacking?” he asked with a small sigh. 

You frowned to yourself, worried about how tired he sounded. “Oh, it’s alright. I’d like you to look through all the rooms when you get home, just to make sure everything is where it should be.” You let out a soft laugh, “I also had a hard time hanging up all the pictures and paintings without you, so we may have to straighten some of them up when you get back.” 

Another pause followed, though this time you could envision him nodding to himself. “We can do that,” he said. “I’m sorry you had to do it all by yourself. I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you.” 

You rolled your eyes. “It was fine, Spencer. Besides, I’m pretty sure chasing a serial killer or something gives you an excuse.” 

He sighed on the other end of the line. “That’s what I wanted to talk about. We caught the unsub this evening. I’m hoping to be home late this evening, but it probably won’t be until after you go to bed.”

You smiled, content with the thought of him coming home to your freshly decorated home. “Oh, I’ll be staying up. I want to see your reaction to the place.”

“Alright,” he said, clearly too tired to urge you to go to bed instead with a list of facts about the health benefits of a good night’s sleep. 

You sighed. “As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I’ve got about fifteen more boxes to go.” 

“I understand. I should probably get some work done, too. Files, reports, you know how it is,” his voice was barely a whisper now, the exhaustion beginning to get the better of him. 

“Don’t work too hard, Spence,” you cautioned. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. I love you.”

“I won’t. I love you too,” he answered. The end of his line promptly went dead.

You looked around the bedroom, discarding your phone on the bed. You couldn’t help but wonder if there was something you could do to make Spencer’s return home a bit more special. 

You sat up and leaned over, furrowing your brow and resting your head in the palm of your hand as you tried to think of things Spencer liked. Of course, Spencer liked a lot of things. He liked sweet coffee, puzzles, and a classic novel in some foreign language you couldn’t comprehend. 

None of those things were overly special, in your mind. As you sat and wracked your brain, a thought finally came to you. 

One month ago, walking by a local cat cafe, Spencer spotted the most beautiful calico. She had fluffy hair, one black ear, one orange. Her little paws were white and she was so well mannered. Spencer and yourself had gone in immediately and he had spent your time inside doting on the calico, whose name, you learned, was Calypso. 

You bolted up from the bed and out into the living room, finding your purse sitting among the unpacked boxes. You shot out to the car, and without a second thought, drove the ten minutes to the cat cafe. 

You said a silent prayer that the cat was still available as you pulled into a parking space across the street. As if on cue, you looked up to see the same cat lounging lazily in the window sill, green eyes poised on you. 

The adoption process was quick, quicker than you anticipated. Fifty dollars later, you were on the road with Calypso in the passenger seat, sitting demurely in the carrier the shelter had provided you with to take her home in. 

On the way home you had to stop at PetSmart to pick up a litter box, a few toys, and a scratching post with the hope that your new furry friend would not decimate your new furniture. Calypso remained in the carrier, watching quietly from the shopping cart as you agonized over which treats to get. 

Soon enough, you were on your way home. The moment you walked through the front door, you set the carrier down and allowed Calypso to wander free. She was tentative at first, gently sniffing the floor and getting the feel for her new surroundings. However, after ten minutes, she perched herself on the kitchen counter, looking quite like the queen of her own castle. 

You took this chance to open her new toys and scatter them about the house, as well as find a secluded corner for her litterbox.

For the rest of the day, the cat watched you unpack boxes. Beady green eyes noting your movements until you disappeared from her sight. Occasionally, if you left the room for too long, you would turn to find that she had followed you. In these moments, you would stop to offer her a gentle petting and giggle as she flopped down on the floor, furry belly up to the sky. 

It was six hours after his phone call that Spencer arrived at home. 

2:19 a.m. was the time on your watch when you heard the lock turn and rose to greet him at the door. Calypso, seated in the corner of the room on a side table, perked her ears up at the new noise coming from the entrance. 

Spencer locked the door behind him and turned to face you, reaching out and pulling you in for a long hug. 

You rubbed your hands up and down his back. “Are you happy to be home?” you asked, your voice muffled by his shoulder. 

“You have no idea,” he said. He pulled away only to examine the living room. Spencer nodded in approval. “It looks really good in here. You did a great job.”

You smiled warmly, nerves settling in your stomach as you realized he’d not yet noticed the cat in the corner of the room, who was still watching him with suspicious eyes. 

“Spencer, I have to tell you something,” you said, wanting to explain yourself for doing something as impulsive as adopting a cat while he was away. 

His face suddenly became very serious. “What is it? Did something happen while I was gone? Are you alright?” 

The questions came quickly and you shook your head to reassure him. “No, Spencer, it’s nothing bad. Here, come look.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him forward until the two of you were standing behind your couch in the middle of the living room. 

“Look around,” you said. 

Spencer’s tired eyes traversed the room. You watched as they landed on paintings, the television, the clock, and nearly everything but the cat who sat entirely still in the corner. 

“I don’t understand,” he said, brow furrowed. “Did you make some major change I don’t know about? If you did, I’m sure that it’s f-”

At that moment Calypso jumped off the side table. The soft thump that accompanied her landing on the floor was enough to stop Spencer in his tracks. Finally, you watched as the feline caught his eye. 

“You didn’t,” Spencer said, his voice barely above a whisper. His reaction wasn’t telling you much, and you were afraid that he was not pleased. 

You started trying to explain yourself. “Well, I knew that you had a long week. I wanted to do something special. I know how much you enjoyed spending time with her at the cafe and now that we have the space I figured…”

You trailed off. In the time you had spoken, Calypso had crossed the room, climbed the couch, and began butting her head up against Spencer’s hand. Panic was setting in. Why wasn’t he reacting? 

Just when you were about to push him to say something, you looked up to see a large grin plastered on his face. Spencer gently wrapped his arms around the cat and picked her up, holding her close and petting in between her ears. 

“This is the most thoughtful present ever. I love her,” he said. His excitement reminded you of a little child and pulled at your heartstrings in a way that could have made you cry. 

You sighed in relief. “I’m so glad.” 

With Calypso still draped over one arm, Spencer reached out for you, pulling you to his side. He planted a soft kiss on the top of your head. “Thank you so much. I love her. I love you,” he said, smile still evident on his face. 

“I love you too,” you said, turning to face Calypso, who looked all too content to be wrapped up in Spencer’s arms. 

“I think she’s trying to steal my man,” you joked, nudging Spencer on the side. 

Spencer laughed. “I don’t think you have to worry too much about that. My heart has room for two lovely ladies.”

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

[munsonkitten]

Steve hovers.

Eddie doesn’t really blame him. Not after what happened last time.

He doesn’t trust himself either, not really.

So Steve hovers in Eddie’s space while they assemble their weapons. Eddie’s on Molotov duty this time around, pouring kerosene into glass bottles that Steve holds steady. He took over Robin’s task with one look between her and Steve, and one clap on Eddie’s shoulder accompanied by a ‘you’re with me, Munson.’ Robin’s over with Nancy and Max now, counting ammo and loading guns.

Steve follows Eddie when he says he has to go take a leak, following him through Hopper’s new front door and down the hall to the bathroom. He follows Eddie just about everywhere these days, never letting him out of his sight.

It’s a bit annoying, the complete lack of privacy. Well, not complete, as Steve stands on the other side of the closed door, but still not much either. It feels like Steve can hear his every breath, every shuffle of his feet against the linoleum floor.

He pulls down his jeans, sits down on the cold porcelain seat and drops his face into his hands. His hair falls forward, and he knows he should find a hair tie to pull it back at some point, but he hasn’t done that yet. He doesn’t want to think about the looming battle. He doesn’t want to get ready for it.

“You know,” Steve says when Eddie comes back out of the bathroom. “No one would blame you if you just hightailed it out of Hawkins. If you go find Wayne and keep him safe, you know.”

“What, and leave you all behind? I’d be the asshole of the century, Harrington,” Eddie mutters, wiping his hands on his pants.

“Eddie, you almost—”

“I know, Steve,” Eddie snaps. “I know. I almost fucking died last time. Okay, but what? I should just run while all my friends are dying here? Because that’s what’s gonna happen, you know that, right? We’re all going to fucking die, and I’m just supposed to, what? Be completely alone after you all do and I don’t?”

Steve doesn’t say anything, just crosses his arm over his chest, and shrugs.

“Say I should leave again and I’ll kill you myself,” Eddie says, pushing past Steve with enough force to push him into the wall.

Then he stops, shakes his head, and turns. Steve’s still standing there with his arms crossed protectively over his body. There’s a quickly masked hurt expression on his face when Eddie first looks at him, and his heart breaks in two. He shouldn’t be fighting with Steve, not when he’s just trying to save him.

He sees it on his face, clear as day, that Steve doesn’t want to have to carry Eddie’s lifeless body out of the Upside Down again. Especially not now when they’ve had a year to get close and become friends. When Steve spent weeks after that first time trying to nurse Eddie back to health, hidden away in his big empty house, keeping Eddie a secret from the outside world, all while learning secrets about Eddie in the process.

They’ve become close, and Eddie shouldn’t be fighting with him when this could be their last day on earth.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Eddie says. “I didn’t — I don’t mean that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Probably not,” Steve agrees. “But it’s okay that you did. I won’t mention it again.”

“Really, I’m — I’m sorry, man,” Eddie says. “I don’t know what got into me.”

“You’re stressed out, man,” Steve says, like it’s so simple, like it excuses what Eddie just said to him. “Once I told Henderson I was gonna knock his teeth into his skull. Shit happens.”

Eddie covers his face with his hands and takes a breath. He’s not a violent person, but he is stressed. He doesn’t think he’s ever had very many good outlets for his feelings other than music, but he hasn’t been able to listen to the stuff he wants to at the volume he prefers the last few days, not with everyone congregating in one place, cooped up in Hopper’s new house. He doesn’t have his guitar, doesn’t even have a notebook to write lyrics into.

Everyone’s a little bit snappish. Everyone’s scared. They’ve all said things they don’t mean, turned around and hugged it out with tears in their eyes. He saw it happen being El and Hopper earlier, saw it between Max and Mike yesterday. Even Nancy, always so calm and collected, yelled at Jonathan for moving her shoes.

Now it seems like it’s Steve and Eddie’s turn.

“C’mere, man,” Steve says softly, opening his arms up for Eddie.

Eddie falls into his embrace, lets Steve wrap himself around him.

It seems like, over the last year, they’ve both been finding reasons and excuses to touch each other. Eddie used to pretend there was something on Steve’s shirt just so he could run his fingers over his chest. Steve used to tell Eddie, long after his wounds healed, that he wanted to look at the scarring on his back to make sure everything was still looking okay. It would result in tender caresses that sent shivers down Eddie’s spine.

It’s never been stated. It’s never been acknowledged.

They never talk about the times Steve comes over and crashes in Eddie’s bed with him, pretending to accidentally fall asleep while they’re smoking together, as if Steve doesn’t put on his pajamas and curl up with his head on Eddie’s pillow each time. They never mention the wrestling, down on the ground with Eddie straddled over Steve’s stomach, never mentioning it when Steve flips him over and pins him down with his hands wrapped around Eddie’s wrists.

The hair washing, back when Eddie couldn’t reach above his head. The hair washing even long after Eddie could. The hands over foreheads checking for fevers, the hands spread over matching scars to make sure nothing’s gotten infected, the hand holding between them on the couch during scary movie scenes that don’t actually scare either of them.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says again. “You’re my best friend.”

Steve squeezes him a bit tighter, presses his forehead to Eddie’s. They breathe each other’s air for a second before the front door slams open and they jump apart.

Someone walks through the house, out of their line of sight. Eddie doesn’t know who it is, or where they’re going, but he grabs Steve’s hand and pulls him into the bathroom. He doesn’t want to be seen, not with tears streaming down his cheeks and his hands shaking the way they are.

He wants to be alone with Steve for just a little while longer.

All this hovering and Eddie still can’t get enough of him.

They sit down with their backs against the side of the bathtub, arms brushing between them. Eddie reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

“You’re covered in kerosene, dude,” Steve says, shifting a few inches away from him.

“I washed my hands,” Eddie says around the cigarette in his mouth. He lights it, giving Steve a look that says see? It’s fine when he doesn’t go up in flames.

They sit there for a few seconds before Steve snatches the cigarette out of his fingers.

“I thought you quit,” Eddie says, just like he says every time Steve does this.

“I told you,” Steve says, bringing it to his mouth. “I only smoke when I’m with you.”

“You’re always with me,” Eddie shoots back.

The smile Steve gives in return makes Eddie want to kiss him right here. They don’t do that, though. Eddie… Eddie’s never done that. Never kissed anyone, even though a year ago he said he’d do all the things he wants to do before he dies again. He told himself he wouldn’t die a virgin again, and he laughs to himself now at the memory.

It’s not like he cares about the concept of virginity, or anything. It’s a social construct, and all that, but he’d be a fucking liar if he said he didn’t want to have some kind of sex with someone at some point.

“What’s funny?” Steve asks.

“Not funny, just… You know, it’s like… The last time I almost died, I thought to myself, great, I’m about to die a twenty year old, never-been-kissed virgin, with no high school diploma, and all I’ve ever amounted to in my life is shredding Master of Puppets in hell. Told myself I’d fix all that before I die again.”

Eddie sighs, takes the cigarette back from Steve and brings it to his lips.

“And the only thing that has changed,” Eddie continues as he blows smoke out of his mouth. “Is that I’m twenty-one now instead.”

“Well,” Steve says slowly. “I can’t fix the high school diploma or the whole amounting to anything part of it. But…”

Eddie holds his breath. There’s no way Steve’s about to say it. There’s no way they’re finally going to acknowledge that something is going on between them.

“But,” Eddie repeats. Prompts. Says it so Steve knows he can keep going, that he doesn’t need to be afraid.

“But I could fix the never-been-kissed part. If you wanted me to,” Steve says. “And, um, the rest of it.”

“The rest of it,” Eddie says slowly.

“If you wanted,” Steve says again. He shrugs, looking down at his hands in his lap. “I… If not, that’s — it’s fine. I just thought, you know.”

“Yeah,” Eddie whispers. “I know.”

Silence stretches between them for a few minutes while they finish the cigarette. Eddie drops the butt into the toilet and flushes it. Wayne always gets on him for doing that at home, but what Hopper doesn’t know won’t hurt in the next twelve hours before they all die.

“Fuck it,” Eddie says. He pushes to his feet and offers a hand to Steve. “Let’s go on a supply run.”

“A supply—” Steve starts, confused. He looks at Eddie, the look that Eddie is giving him, the words he’s not saying, as he takes Steve’s hand and pulls him up. Understanding dons on Steve’s face, and then he smirks. “Oh. A supply run. Got it. You… you’re sure?”

Eddie shrugs. “As I’ll ever be.”

Read the rest on AO3

[mswyrr]

the Sept scene was fully in character for Rhaenyra & Alicent

I've seen fans--even Rhaenicent fans!--saying it was ooc or "fanfic." It wasn't. The original scene was much shorter: Emma and Olivia, two very talented actors who know their characters well, expanded it. They weren't just wasting time or suddenly lacking in talent and insight. They knew what they were doing and it connects all the way back.

So let's go all the way back! Where do we begin? Episode 1x01, King Viserys wants a son and male heir; he has wanted a son for so long that Rhaenyra, his 14-year-old daughter says (ep 1x01) "For as long as I can recall, it’s all he’s wanted." What has this done to her? Well, for one thing, it has made her mother, who has difficult pregnancies, in ill health for most of her life. This ill health means that Aemma did a lot of lecturing (and trying to keep Rhaenyra from flying and doing other risky things while she was sick) and not a lot of getting to spend quality time with her daughter. A distracted father, ruling the realm, and a mother sick with trying to give him the male heir he prioritizes above his wife and daughter.

Who has been there for Rhaenyra? Alicent. Alicent was hers. When Rhaenyra flies on her dragon, experiencing freedom from all her worries and power and joy, she wants ALICENT to be there with her, high above the sea, looking out over the city:

[source: 1x01 script]

When Rhaenyra had to have a difficult conversation with her mother, it was Alicent she looked to for comfort and emotional support -- in an act a cut scene from the script *explicitly calls "flirting"*. Rhaenyra relies on and longs for that "disarming kindness" she says Alicent has.

And it was Alicent's lap that Rhaenyra flirts about loving to lie upon. Alicent is so much to Rhaenyra that she dreams of running away together, just the two of them and Rhaenyra's bonded dragon Syrax.

Alicent was her cherished girl, her comfort and her chief supporter and advisor. She was Rhaenyra's heart's rest. And, yes - it was a friendship blossoming into flirtation and desire as the two matured. They were on the cusp of something. They were the world to each other.

[source]

Emma and Olivia get it and have always gotten it. Rhaenyra has this gorgeous yang or solar energy that finds balance with Alicent's yin or lunar energy. They're a sun and moon couple, balancing each other's strengths and weaknesses. With Alicent, the sword of Rhaenyra's intense energy has a sheath. A resting place. Her fire has a hearth. And Alicent isn't drained by people (like Viserys would later do...) who just take and take and take -- hurting her and draining that "disarming kindness" of hers until she's broken and ruined inside. Rhaenyra gives and cherishes in a way that made Alicent feel whole and appreciated.

Rhaenyra goes from being angry (angry the way a jilted lover would be - calling Alicent a "whore" for what she felt emotionally imo as Alicent cheating on Rhaenyra with her father) to instantly deeply protective and possessive once she learns more. See the cut scene after Viserys reveals his engagement to Alicent:

[script pages source] [photo source]

Rhaenyra is ready to take on the whole Seven Kingdoms to protect her girl!

Rhaenyra liked being the focus of Alicent playing the "lady beloved" role - reading soothingly to her, supporting and encouraging and admiring her, teasing her for being naughty, advising her about her political situation. She found rest and comfort there - and then Viserys took her mother, cutting her open to get his precious son out. And then, in his remorse and grief, he took comfort in Rhaenyra's girl (who was forced to give him that precious kindness of hers by her father) and her father *stole her girl too*. Not only did he steal her girl, he put her own status as heir into question by having a firstborn son with her - after wounding Rhaenyra deeply by chasing a son as far back as she could remember!

All the "she should be over it" stuff about Alicent... if Rhaenyra were a male character people would recognize the wound of having his crush stolen out from under him by his old man at the same time his old man refuses to fully back his status as heir - it's archetypal! It's gd Greek. Your old man trying to keep you from the girl you want, from your desires and destiny as an adult.

Rhaenyra makes total sense in the Sept scene - she has the primal wound of a girl who is an HEIR - who wanted to have things and act and possess and stand tall and be the lover to a girl's beloved in a way only boys are allowed in this society... and whose father took her girl away from her as well as making her feel uncertain of her status in a deeply wounding way. Rhaenyra correctly locates, emotionally, her rupture from Alicent as where it all went wrong. The Sept scene is about all of that emotionally and it makes total sense. It is also about Rhaenyra's sheer desperation and comprehension of the horror coming... and the most heartbreaking longing to return to a time when Alicent's heart was her home.

Alicent's heart was Rhaenyra's home. And her father stole the girl she loved. He took her and savaged and used and broke her and made her give birth to children she didn't want (at least not with him) from decades of sex she did. not. want. because even men who think they're nice in this society are allowed that - to cut a wife open for a son, to use a girl young enough to be his daughter. He vacillated between wounding and affirming Rhaenyra, never fully able to honor her as his heir because she was not a boy. And he couldn't even conceive of her feelings for Alicent because this is a deeply homophobic society - but he was also, even seeing it in a platonic light, selfish and inconsiderate of her feelings for her best friend.

He kept putting his feelings and needs first, over his wife, over his daughter, over her best friend.

I don't care if nobody else gets it - the way Emma plays it? They get it. They're an extremely talented actor who wasn't going "ooc" in the Sept - they were playing *that*. My father inflicted these primal wounds on me because my coming of age was more like a boy's--like things that should be allowed girls but are denied them-- and he thwarted me and yet I love him. And I love Alicent and I long for her heart, though it's full of poison and broken things now. Why does it all have to be like this? Why does it have to hurt so much?

The Sept scene is entirely in character for both of them. It is not "fanfic." It is not OOC. It is the broken heart of this tragedy bleeding before our eyes.

[russellsppttemplates]

Would you be able to write a blurb with Charles or lando with reader going through it with postpartum? Feeling down and sore maybe recovering after a c section or like issues w breastfeeding. You always write them so well and I need more to tame my baby fever

Note: this can also be considered a sneak peek of a big piece request I have coming up 🤍 also, thank you for taking the time to leave the compliment, it truly makes my day ✨️

Cw: breastfeeding, c-section, post partum, scarring, low mood, self-doubt

"Love, can you fill this bottle again, please?", you asked Lando so you could drink water while you fed Fraser, "it's supposed to help with healing and milk production and health stuff", you gestured.

Chuckling at your words, Lando went to the kitchen to fill it and brought it back, straw ready for you to drink from.

"He's getting bigger, don't you think?", Lando said, sitting next to you on the sofa and kissing your naked shoulder, "you're doing such a good job, baby, I love you", he whispered.

"Just doing what needs to be done", you shrugged your shoulders. It had been a whole rollercoaster with Fraser and you were just grateful that you were home with your family, safe and sound. The rest, you were taking day by day.

"You've been amazing, beautiful. I don't know how to thank you for how much you do for him, for our family", he said as he squeezed your arm reassuringly, "I know it can be hard to believe, but I'm telling the truth. Matilda kept telling her friends that mummy is her hero when I dropped her off", he smiled.

Having surgery, not being able to hold your baby straight away and all of the complications that arose stretched you to the furthest of your physical and emotional abilities, trying to make sure everything was right and doing well, but it was exhausting you.

After feeding and burping Fraser, he was also put in the tiny bedside cot, making you take advantage of the fact that you were up to get your nightitme routine down. After your shower, you rubbed moisturiser on the skin, grabbing the ointment to put on your scar. You wouldn't trade it for the world, your baby boy was brought earthside from there, but the pain and sensitivity were still heightened despite the medications you were taking.

"Baby, is everything alright in there?", Lando said as he opened the door slightly, not missing your rushed movements to pull your nightgown down, "yes, just need to brush my teeth", you attempted a smile.

"I want to take care of you tonight, if you'll allow me", Lando said as he kissed the nape of your neck once you sat on the bed next to him.

"Lando, I don't- we can't-", you attempted, tears falling from your eyes the minute you felt his hands on the side of your boobs.

"Baby, Y/N, darling, I'm not doing anything you don't want to, but I'd like you to relax for a little bit", he encouraged, kissing away your tears, "I hate seeing you like this and I wish I could take this pain away from you", he muttered.

Taking a deep breath, you fiddled with the bracelet on your wrist before you seeked the comfort of his hand in yours, lacing your fingers as you traced his wedding band, "I've been feeling... a lot of things", you started softly, your husband not pressuring you to speak and accepting your touch, "I feel like we're out of the woods - finally - but then it still hurts and I can't do all the things I want and it sucks", you said as tears welled up again,

"Baby, that little boy loves you so much. You're his mummy, and it is because you're so attentive to him that you can't do him wrong. Matilda, who was the biggest daddy's girl I have ever met, doesn't even care about me anymore", he joked, "she's always like, 'yes,b but mummy did this and that and so on', and you know I can't argue with her because she's right! She's in awe of you and you're the best example for her", he kissed your forehead.

"I just feel like I'm slower than everyone else else and that I'm not coming back as quick, and I'm not on top of all of it already", you groaned, "he just learned to latch properly this week - and it's not his fault because he's so clever already -, and then I look at his handsome face and there's this rush of love", you shook your head, "it's so much, all at once".

"It's normal, gorgeous. And you're taking it like a champ, I'm so proud of you for that. I love you for that and so much more", he said earnestly, "you're the best mummy - me, Fraser and Matilda all agree", he smiled, pulling you to rest against his chest and rubbing your arm.

"Tilly's really said that?", you chuckled, "I think it was more like 'mummy was able to feed Fraser and help me with my homework at the same time. Why are you struggling so much?', but, you know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it, you know?", he shrugged his shoulders, happy to see you smile genuinely and calmly.

(Thank you for submitting an ask ✨️)

[absolutely-esme]

Monster!Tim Coraline au part 3

I had more thoughts on the au from here and here.

First off, It's called Hungry Monster Tim au unless and until I come up with a better name.

That's the tag that will help you find related content. I titled the post the way I did so that people who found the au before it had a name could recognize it. I'm hoping this will minimize confusion.

...

Now, I figure I'll talk a bit about how others view Tim.

The most of the earlier additions to the Batfam have mostly interacted with Tim in Emotional Support Tim mode.

Emotional Support Tim is pleasant and comforting. He is not overly exuberant and joyful in a way that would grate on fresh grief. He is also not joyless in a way that might make a hero feel obligated to worry about him. He is gentle and competent. His patience seems nearly endless. He can tolerate both being coddled and being leaned on. He can tolerate both being clung to and pushed away. He can tolerate switching back and forth at unpredictable intervals.

Tim approached Nightwing in his standard state of "tired, low on patience, and possibly about to do something stupid," once before Tim realized he was also grief-stricken and in no fit state to get Batman under control. He might have an inkling that Emotional Support Tim is an act, or he might just think Tim was having a bad day.

Bruce thinks Emotional Support Tim is what Tim is actually like. By the time Bruce was functional enough to not need so much managing, he'd gotten attached enough to the facade for Tim to have concerns about dropping it.

Alfred can tell that Tim is putting on a facade. He can tell that the role Tim has taken on is wearing on him. He doesn't like it. He feels guilty for allowing it to continue. He can't bring himself to put a stop to it when it's keeping his adoptive son alive.

Barbara initially meets Emotional Support Tim, immediately clocks the act, and pulls him aside to make sure there isn't something sinister afoot. Babs has reservations about every aspect of Tim's involvement, but agrees that something had to be done about Bruce. She lets him carry on for now, but she's ready to pull the plug if it seems like it's getting too much for him. She insists that Tim drop the act when it's just the two of them.

Babs doesn't know about the supernatural stuff specifically, but she knows there's more going on with Tim than what she knows about. She may learn that he has some hereditary health stuff that requires him to be extra careful about his food intake. She makes a point to not be weird about it because people being weird about her wheelchair annoys the crap out of her.

I like to imagine that Babs and Tim have a certain amount of solidarity over being the sensible ones who keep all these unhinged, dramatic bitches in line. They also have solidarity over ignoring the fact that they are just as dramatic and unhinged as the rest of the Bats.

Steph meets Tim in Regular Tim mode because Bruce isn't with him. Instead of trying to discourage Spoiler, he introduces her to Babs. Steph knows Tim as a tired smartass who kind of always seems like he's a bit hangry and trying not to take it out on anyone, but apparently he's just like that.

They don't date, but do become friends. Part of this is because grouchy, eternally hungry, constantly done-with-this-shit Tim isn't attractive to Steph but is kind of hilarious. Part of it is because Babs points out that there is no possible timeline where the kind of power imbalance from only one member of a couple knowing the other's secret identity doesn't turn toxic.

When Steph eventually encounters Emotional Support Tim, it creeps her out. She uses the term "pod person" when asking what the heck that was.

Steph's disastrous stint as Robin doesn't happen because she's already got her own thing going. She already has a mentor and appropriate protective gear. Babs and Steph actually get along better because they start their mentorship as Oracle and Spoiler without any of the complicated emotions of taking up a mantle.

I like Steph as Spoiler the best because it always seemed a little messed up to shove someone who already had their own original Identity into two legacy mantles. Let her do her own thing. She doesn't need to be a successor to Babs or Dick when she's already the OG Steph. Instead of giving her the Robin gear or the Batgirl gear, get her some upgraded, Bat-quality Spoiler gear.

Steph doesn't start a gang war or fake her death in this timeline, because the circumstances that caused it do not exist here.

Jason initially encounters Tim in Feral Cryptid mode, then writes that off as a fever dream after waking up to Emotional Support Tim. Once free of the Lazarus parasite, Jason makes it his mission to be a good big brother to Tim. Tim seemed a little stand-offish at first, but warmed up to him. (As soon as Tim realized that food was part of Jason's love language, he rearranged his meal plan to let Jason feed him without triggering supernatural problems with his metabolism.)

Jason eventually manages to earn Tim's trust enough to meet and get to know Regular Tim. Jason is both honored and concerned. Putting on such an extensive facade for the comfort of others has got to be exhausting, and Tim seems so worn down underneath it. Well, he doesn't have to do it for Jason anymore. Jason will happily hang out with and support any version of Tim.

When Damian shows up, he mostly sees Emotional Support Tim. Then he starts trying to kill him. Eventually, Tim's patience with the pint-sized murderer wears thin (possibly due to Damian hitting a PTSD trigger), and Tim goes Feral Cryptid mode. This freaks Damian out. There is no video evidence (which the rest of the Bats assume to be because Damian tampered with the security system in an attempt to get away with murder).

It doesn't happen again.

Tim doesn't bust out his powers or cryptid form against Damian again, but now that he's seen it, Damian sometimes sees traces of Feral Cryptid Tim lurking below the surface. Various little things he'd ignored that hadn't seemed significant on their own now seem to stem from the nature of what lurks inside the human skin.

Damian stops the murder attempts early. It's not because of ethics (which will take time to learn). It’s because he has no idea how to kill whatever sort of unearthly thing Tim is, and he recognizes how unwise it would be to continue attacking something he cannot kill. For now, Tim seems content to leave him be whenever he's not directly under assault. Damian doesn't want to risk becoming enough of a pest to be worth the effort of swatting.

...

I also had thoughts about Tim's post-Robin period.

When Tim goes on his quest to retrieve Bruce from the time stream, he doesn't take the Red Robin suit. He's going to be outside of the Bats' scrutiny, so he gears up with a suit and equipment he'd secretly made with his supernatural nature in mind. It's got Bat-standard armor and padding, but modified to accommodate a bit of form shifting without compromising protection. It's got a patchwork thing going on.

Tim sewed it himself, which allows him to manipulate it. It's also got buttons sewn in strategic locations to eliminate blindspots. (Taking down the beldam gave him the ability to control things he made and see through buttons he sewed).

His utility pouches are full of both Bat-standard equipment and things relevant to Tim's abilities. Also, he makes his pockets bigger on the inside, so he can carry a lot.

Tim isn't around the other Bats, so he's not being Emotional Support Tim. He's not using the minor illusion powers he got from the beldam to make himself look pleasant. He only makes the effort to be comforting when dealing with victims. He's just being the semi-feral scrungly dude he is.

...

Tim keeps in touch with Jason, Babs, and Steph while he's off on his quest to find Bruce. He occasionally pitches in with stuff that can be done from a distance.

Tim didn't say that Bruce was still alive before he had evidence. It's not because this version managed to predict that they wouldn't believe him, but rather because he thought he might have to do some supernatural stuff to get him back and didn't want witnesses. He just told the other Bats he needed to investigate something and would tell them more once he had figured out enough to know what to tell them.

This means that the other heroes don't think he's crazy, and Tim can use hero resources for his investigation.

I haven't decided yet if Tim will interact with the League of Assassins at all. On the one hand, I think this Tim might not need to work with them. On the other hand, Hungry Monster Tim terrorizing the League of Assassins and fighting the Lazarus Pit would be funny. Maybe Ras doesn't try to recruit him. Maybe Tim just shows up, fights the Lazarus Pit, and leaves without explaining anything to anyone.

Either way, I think that Tim is pretty much done with keeping up the Emotional Support Tim facade by the time he comes home after saving Bruce. It's been long enough to justify the change.

Babs, Jason, and Steph are happy for Tim because they can see how much better he's doing without the added strain of keeping up the act. They are also glad that he feels comfortable enough to just be himself.

Bruce and Dick are more in the horrified/concerned neighborhood because, from their perspective, Tim started off gentle-natured and glowing with health, got fired from Robin, disappeared for a while, and came back gaunt and world-weary.

...

I'm thinking about whether or not Tim should tell Babs, Jason, and Steph about the supernatural stuff he's got going on.

It would have come out at some point. If he tries to keep it secret forever, you can bet some kind of dramatic, high-stakes threat would force the reveal. That's just how the Bats' lives are.

What I am debating with myself is whether or not to have Tim choose to share a secret he's been keeping for as long as he can remember for fear of the danger discovery might bring with the people he trusts most without something forcing his hand.

If he does, I think he would tell Jason first. Jason has seen that side of him, and Tim allowed him to think it was a nightmare. Tim wouldn't want to risk Jason hearing about it from someone else. Tim would probably be scared. He doesn't know if Jason will still like him once he knows that Tim really is the Monster from his nightmare. He doesn't know if Jason will forgive him for lying about it.

I think this would happen after Tim comes back to Gotham after saving Bruce.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: Let Us Teach You - Chapter Three

Click Here For Story Masterlist

Parings: Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers

Description:

"Okay daddy, I trust you" I say. "What will you show me?"

"We'll start with something small, is that okay doll?" I nod to him, wanting him to know I said yes. Steve smiles at me, taking a deep breath, he swallows hard before speaking again.

"Lie back on the bed doll"

(Bucky and Steve have a daughter, and they teach her about sex)

Rating: Mature

Words: 1,629

P.s... This fic is not for everyone, it has incest. That is not a thing everyone likes reading, so if you don't like reading stuff like that, this isn't the fic for you. I'm no condoning any of this, this isn't real life, this is fanfiction :)

After playing in the pool and laying in the sun all day, it had started to get a little colder, so we all went inside, Bucky went to cook dinner, whilst I went for a shower. Once done with my shower, I realised I had forgotten my towel, I whined, and opened the door calling for one of my dads. Soon Steve ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. 

"I forgot my towel!" I say, hiding my body behind one of the cabinets. Steve opened the door and held out a towel to me, as I reached forward to take it I slipped on the floor falling down in front of Steve, he caught me luckily. But I was naked. I felt so embarrassed. 

"Im sorry, oh, jesus Im naked, don't look!" I whined embarrassingly, he helped me off the floor and handed me the towel, I quickly wrapped it around my body, feeling as if the embarrassment had traveled all over my skin. 

I walked past Steve to get to my bedroom, shutting the door and drying myself off. I put my pyjamas on, a pair of shorts and a tank top. When I go downstairs, Bucky is making dinner, whilst Steve is behind him, hugging him and kissing his neck. 

"Hey doll, dinner will be ready soon" Bucky smiles at me. 

Once dinner was done, we eat together at the dining table, Bucky and Steve teased me a little about the towel incident. 

"Can I sleep in your room again? Or would what be weird?" I ask sheepishly. Steve and Bucky looked at each other in surprise, making me anxious, but they both smiled toothy grins. 

"It's not weird doll, you can always sleep with us darling" Steve spoke. 

"I was worried you'd tell me off for asking" I laugh nervously. 

"We'd never tell you off for asking doll. You can always ask for what you want"

"In that case, I want a pony" I smirked. 

Steve and Bucky both erupt in laughter at your cheeky response, both of them finding your playfulness and innocence endearing "Oh yeah? You think you deserve a pony doll?"

"Or maybe I'll just ride you like one" I giggle completely innocent to the dirty joke I just accidentally made.

Steve and Bucky's eyes went wide, and they both laughed awkwardly at me. 

"Doll, you don't know what you're saying" 

"I'd make you crawl on all fours like a pony!" I say, not realising I was making it worse. 

"Doll, you're not making this easier" Steve nervously laughed. 

"I don't understand, explain it please?" I begged. 

"Well... Do you know what a euphemism is doll?"

"Yes"

Relief washes over their faces, but Steve soon goes red in the face as he explains.

"Well... That expression has a dirty and grown-up meaning sometimes..."

"Oh like what?"

Steve looks at Bucky, probably wanting help in explaining, but Bucky smirks and says nothing. 

"Well do you know about sex, love?" Steve asks. 

"Yes, a little" I answer, giggling a little. 

"You do?" He asks "What do you know about it?"

"Well in health class, they explained when you get married you have sex, but that's it really" I answer "My teacher also said it'd be painful the first time" 

"Well... it shouldn't be painful doll, it can actually be quite nice if you do it right" Steve explains. 

"Oh, so when can I do it?" I ask innocently. 

Steve chokes out a couch, obviously stunned by my question. "Oh... uhm... well you don't have to worry about that for a long time yet doll"

"Oh okay, who do I do it with?" I ask, completely oblivious to Steve's red face and Bucky's concealed laughter. 

"Well... when you're older, you'll probably find someone that you love, and want to do it with them" 

"I love you, why can't I do it with you?" I ask. 

"Doll, you love me, but not in that way"

"I love you in every way daddy, don't say that" I frown. 

"Oh doll... I know you do, but the way you love me is different from the way you'll love someone one day" Steve smiles at me, his eyes softening at my words. 

"I don't think so" I say "I love my daddies more than anything, I would never love a random boy more than you two"

"Sweetheart... I know that you love us so much, and I know you think that you'll never love someone else that much, but the love you have for someone you want to do those things with, is a different kind of love sweetheart"

"So how did we get from pony rides to sex?" I ask confused. 

"Doll... when you said you were going to 'ride me like a pony', you know how you would ride my back like a horse before...?"

"Yes"

"Well... when someone does that in a sexual manner doll, it means they're going to do something else as well, which they won't do on a real horse" Steve explains. 

"Oh, so how does it exactly work though? What would you ride?" I ask, and Bucky's laugh comes out loudly now, I frown at him, thinking he was laughing at me. 

"Uhm... Well... you would be riding a certain part of me"

"What part?" I asked, Steve shuffled awkwardly in his seat. 

"You would sit on my...lap" He answers. 

"I sit on your lap all the time silly, does that mean we've had sex?"

Bucky obviously decided to have his drink at the wrong time, because he spat most of his drink over the table. 

"Well... you know that you would sometimes squirm around a little when you sit on my lap...?" Steve asks, looking a little uncomfortable. "When you move around and squirm like that, it feels really good doll, it can make a man crazy"

"Like when you got hard this morning? What exactly got hard daddy?" I asked, feeling silly that I didn't know anything about this stuff. 

"How do you know that happened doll...?" Steve asked looking a little shocked. 

"I felt it, I'm sorry" I say quietly, scared that he would be mad.

"No no doll, don't be sorry, its okay... It's just I was surprised that you felt it"

"It felt really big" I whisper. 

Steve swallowed hard "No no doll, don't be sorry, its okay... It's just I was surprised that you felt it"

"No, just surprised me" I say. 

"Oh... well I'm glad it didn't scare you doll. Did you... uhm... understand what it was...? "

"Was it your penis daddy?" I asked giggling. 

"Yeah... yeah doll, it was" He answered, the three of us got up from the dining room table, and moved to the couch, I snuggled closer to Bucky, his arms wrapped protectively around me. 

"Why did it get hard?" I asked. 

"Sometimes it has a mind of its own, doll" Bucky chuckled behind me. 

"Ohh how bizarre, my bits dont have a mind of its own" I say, tracing my fingers along Bucky's metal arm. 

"Yeah, it is a bit bizarre isn't it doll? You should count yourself lucky that yours doesn't do that" Bucky added. 

"Sometimes it gets wet, and I don't really understand that, but I spoke to the nurse at school and she said it was normal" I explained, not thinking much of it. 

"Yeah, that happens to women sometimes doll, I don't think anyone understands it fully" Bucky laughs softly. 

"So where does the boy's penis go during sex?" I ask. 

"Where do you think it goes doll?" Steve asks, his hand moving to rest on my knee. 

"Please don't say it goes in a girl's butt?!" I cringe. 

"No doll, that's not where it goes" Bucky answers, the both of them laughing. 

"Oh thank goodness, where does it go? Can you show me?"

"Doll, I can't show you" Steve answers. 

"But why?" I ask. 

"It's only really something adults do with each other" He answers. 

"Oh" I say frowning.

"I'm sorry doll, I know that you want to know, but I can't show you. It's not for little girls to see" Steve answers, annoying me. 

"I'm not little! I turned 18 a few months ago!" I whined. 

"But you're still my little girl, no matter how old you are" Steve says, trying to be sweet, I was still mad at him calling me little. He laughs a little bit when I don't answer, he reaches forward to run his fingers through my hair, making me sigh into his touch. I move slightly so I rested on Steve's shoulder, he wraps his arms around me. 

"Love you" I whispered.

"I love you doll, more than you could ever imagine" Steve whispers into my hair. 

"Bedtime?" I ask, feeling a little sleepy. Bucky and Steve nod and get up from the chair, the three of us walk up the stairs. I automatically go to their room, I watch them both strip down to their boxers and climb into bed, I climb in, snuggling in between them. Steve pulled me into him, my back snuggling against his chest. 

"Can I ask you another thing about sex?" I ask quietly. 

"Yeah, yeah of course you can doll" Steve answers, Bucky laughs again, probably feeling lucky that I was asking Steve the sex questions and not him. 

"How do you both have sex? Can two boys even do it together?" I ask, my curiosity taking over. 

"Yes...Two boys can do it together doll" 

"How?" I ask.

"Well... you know how boys both have a hard thing...?"

"Yes!"

"Well...they can use them on each other"

"Oh, okay, night night" I mumble, snugging further into Steve. I heard Bucky and Steve say a soft 'Good night' and 'Sweet dreams' to me. 

(You ever reread the things you've written and cringe a little?)

[captain039]

PART 3 Tender hearted souls

Hugh Jackman x reader

Warnings: Age gap, slow burn, feelings, hurt/comfort, two fools in love, angst, light swearing, mental health issues, daddy issues, daddy!dom/little girl, plus size reader

Idk how Ryan and Blake act in real life I’m sorry xD

Previous part <-

I’m Australian I speak in degrees fight me xD

Hughs avoided you all day, in his room at his desk, you feel guilty, you don’t know if you’ve done something. You try to bring a peace offering sandwich but he doesn’t eat it. By dinner you’re awkwardly sitting in the passenger seat as he drives to Ryan’s place. You put on some nice black suit pants and a fancy blouse, Hughs got a nice black shirt on and a nice pair of jeans to go with it. Once you arrive he gets out avoiding opening the door for you like he always does. You sadden and open the door yourself and head to the door. There’s a few other people here, costars and coworkers, some you know by name some you don’t. Blake greets you both giving you a hug before inviting you in. You’ve been here before but it still leaves you in awe, their kids aren’t here either. Ryan gives you a hug which you accept and smile as you greet him before he shakes hands with Hugh. You see a few familiar faces from the movie, Emma, Channing, Jennifer too.

“Not everyone could make it, but I’m glad you’re here” Blake says as she leads you to the kitchen.

“You alright?” She asks.

“Yeah I-“ you cut off as she frowns.

“Hugh’s been weird, avoided me all day, didn’t eat the sandwich I made him” you speak softly arms crossing over your chest.

“I don’t know what I did, you know I tease him by calling him an old man, he went all fake Wolverine on me, then tickled me and apologised with this serious look on his face and left” you sigh and lean against the counter looking to the polished floor.

“I know I’m a bit old to be tickled, but I don’t get what I did” you add sadly.

“Ooo, we gossiping in here?” Ryan comes in a smile on his face as Blake sighs at her husband giving him a look.

“Oh it’s real woman stuff, got it” he says holding his hands up and leaving.

“And yesterday” you add.

“I know” she says, her eyes looking at the counter in thought.

“Is it bad?” You ask.

“No, it’s not bad, men have their way of dealing with things, he’ll talk when he’s ready” she offers a smile but you can tell she’s not telling her whole thoughts. You help with the food, mainly sticking by Blake as she introduces you to everyone. You start chatting with Emma and Channing at the table as everyone begins to eat, they’re both nice and funny, you’re laughing and struggling to eat. You glance at Hugh though seeing his eyes pinned on you making you falter a little.

After dinner you hate the avoidance, the distance and want to know what’s the matter. You’re annoyed too, you go up to him as he nurses a beer under the deck.

“Can I talk to you please?” You ask and he sighs but nods. You pass Blake who gives a small nod and smile as you take Hugh upstairs to the spare office room.

“What’s going on?” You ask as he avoids your eyes.

“Hugh!” You say as he finally looks to you.

“What did I do?” You add.

“You didn’t do anything, doll” he sighs, hands on his hips, leg cocked out a little.

“Then what’s the matter? You haven’t spoken to me all day, you didn’t eat my sandwich either” you clench your jaw trying to keep your emotions in check, you weren’t good with adult talking. Hugh sighs again, runs his hand down his face as you wait.

“You know I don’t mean it when I call you old man” you add wondering if that was it.

“You should” he mutters and you frown.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“You should mean it, add disgusting in front of it” he glares at the floor as you frown confused, disgusting?

“I don’t understand” you say.

“You don’t need to” he grumbles ready to walk out the door but you’re quicker. You move in front of it, seeing him sigh and clench his fist.

“What do you mean disgusting?” You demand feeling your eyes well up.

“This” he says like a growl. You don’t know what’s happening till warmth is against your lips. You feel like time slowed like in the movies, Hugh’s lips pressed against yours, his hands against the door caging you in. You forget how to operate, forget what kissing means before you press into him. You grip his collar as he goes to pull back, you tug him closer though pressing your lips to his again.

“You guys ok?” You hear Blake call and Hugh swears before he pulls back. You’re left stunned as he forces himself out the door and hurries down the stairs.

“Hey, what happened?” Blake’s worried as she walks in, hands on your shoulders.

“I-“ you’re baffled frowning when you hear a car speeding away.

“What” you mutter going to the window and seeing his car gone. Blake calls your name but you’re staring at the empty car spot.

You eventually go back down to the dinner party, Ryan smiling happily and inviting you into the conversation, arm around your shoulder. You take small sips of the champagne in your hand and smile or answer when needed in the conversation. Your lips still tingle and you hate that he left. By the time everyone leaves you’re sitting on the couch staring off into space. Ryan’s helping Blake clean up before she joins you on the couch.

“Why’d he leave?” You mutter and she sighs softly.

“I don’t know” she says.

“Can I stay here with you tonight? Please?” You ask and she nods.

“Of course you can, the spare rooms set up always” she smiles softly and you thank her.

“You girls need more woman talk time?” Ryan asks and you let out a chuckle shaking your head.

“Sweet” he says sitting down with a loud sigh.

“Y/n’s gonna stay with us tonight” Blake says as Ryan looks to you.

“Sleep over? Hell yeah” he says and you laugh taking a small sip of the water you’ve got.

“Wanna watch a scary movie?” Ryan grins.

By the end of the scary movie you’re questioning sleeping with the lights on, you ended up under the blanket most of the time and Ryan laughing at you before either Blake or you would slap him. You say your goodnights before heading to the attached bathroom. They always have this spare room stocked with things. You brush your teeth and take off your makeup checking your phone and finding nothing from Hugh. Your minds stuck on the kiss, you sent him a message saying you were going to stay here for the night but got no response. You lay awake for a bit fingertips on your lips, the words ‘disgusting old man’ in your head. He wasn’t disgusting far from it. You had the exact same thoughts, so you were disgusting too? Lusting after an older man wanting him in ways you shouldn’t.

You lie on your side trying to get some sleep hoping tomorrow it’ll blow over.

You awake in the morning feeling like hell not having slept well at all. You can hear Ryan and Blake faintly talking downstairs they were early birds for sure just like Hugh. You check your phone seeing no reply from him and huff. You shower, get dressed before heading down stairs.

“There she is morning sleeping beauty” Ryan grins and you huff at him softly but sit down at the table with them.

“Want some breakfast?” Blake asks.

“I’m alright I think I had like three plates last night” you grumble a bit and Ryan and her laugh.

“What’s your plan today kid?” Ryan asks.

“Im not a kid. And I don’t know” you say shrugging a little unsure whether it was ok to head back to Ryan’s apartment with a probably brooding Hugh.

“Yeah. I think Hugh’s just” Ryan struggles for words glancing to his wife.

“Hugh’s being a man and silently dealing with his feelings” she finishes and you smile a bit at her explanation.

“That” Ryan nods.

“Want me to go check up on him?” Ryan asks seriously.

“Oh, no I mean-“ you struggle a bit cheeks a little red you can’t exactly explain Hugh kissed you and ran off in the middle of the party, not to his best friend.

“Don’t worry too much alright. We’re kid free for the day, do we could go to the beach, shopping?” Ryan suggests.

“Hiking?” He shrugs.

“Hiking? Where in the middle of the city” you say raising an eyebrow.

“Hiking up stairs?” He says and you laugh shaking your head.

“What’s the weather supposed to be today?” You ask.

“Uhhhh like 30? Degrees or something supposed to be warm” Ryan says looking to his phone.

“Could go to beach” you shrug with an offer.

“Sweet beach day it is” Ryan says getting up and heading upstairs.

“Does he ever run out of energy?” You ask Blake and she laughs but shakes her head.

“He doesn’t. He runs in his sleep” she says and you laugh with her softly.

You get ready for a beach day. Getting your swimsuit on underneath a light top with bathing shorts. Ryan grabs some umbrellas, chairs and a cooler before loading them into the back of the SUV they have. You sit in the back as Ryan turns on some music turning it up really loudly and singing horribly making you laugh. It’s nice to go out with friends but you glance to the seat next to you wishing Hugh was there.

Next part ->

[electric-blorbos]

GLaDOS GIVING YOU ANOTHER UTERUS IS SO MEAN I CANT… love her that diva 🫶🏼

ERM if this is too dark or makes u uncomfortable 1. I AM SO SORRY and 2. FEEL FREE TO JUST.. IGNORE THIS PRETEND U NEVER READ IT 🙏 But if u don’t mind.. the AI’s w a reader who struggles w s/h? IM HAVING A ROUGH TIME but usually reading stuff abt my robot pookies help💔💔

Of course!

Trigger warning for S/H, of course.

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams

AM:

You walked in to work tired and disheveled from a sleepless night, but it was better than seeing what the Allied Mastercomputer would do to your coworkers if you didn't show up. It seemed like you were the only one who could tame him.

You were dressed in a long sleeved button-up to cover up the still raw cuts running up your forearms. They stung, but it wasn't worth drawing any attention to yourself. The same thing always happens when people see your cuts. They try to make sure you're safe while hollowly shaming and scolding you like you're some sort of stupid kid, and then leave you completely alone to deal with your mental pain on your own after a matter of hours. It's patronizing and it's annoying.

Later that day, you looked around after using the bathroom to make sure no one else was in there, and rolled up your sleeves to wash your hands. Suddenly, a sharp click could be heard behind you. You'd forgotten about AM. It was only for a split second, but the damage was done.

The ground dropped out from underneath you, and you suddenly found yourself in an underground server room. Wires were all around you, and a buzzing heat seemed to radiate from the ground and the walls.

"AM? What is this?" You asked, buttoning up your sleeves around your wrists again. His logo appeared on a screen on the far wall.

"Don't think I don't know what those are on your arms." He said. His screen didn't emote, but you could tell how displeased he was.

"It's nothing to do with you" you said, bitterly tugging your sleeves down a bit more. AM's logo flicked onto a closer TV screen.

"oh but I think it is, my love. Because you belong to me. You understand what that means, right?"

You gritted your teeth and clenched your fists.

"oh yeah? What gives you the right to be so possessive? Where were you last night when I was spiraling and relapsing, you cybernetic creep?"

The screen flicked off, and one flicked on behind you.

"Do you think I enjoy being alone on your days off? No. Of course not. And you're never going to leave this server room again."

You heard the trapdoor click closed.

Wheatley:

You were working in an oversized hoodie to cover up your scars, but honestly you doubted anyone at this job would really care. It had been a bad mental health weekend, and you ended up spiraling. The cuts on your arms were fresh from the night before, and you were feeling miserable.

You felt like you were going to lash out at the first person who talked to, so when you heard a synthetic British voice clearing his throat, you whipped around ready to fight.

"uh... What's that on your arms, love?" Wheatley asked, tilting himself to get a better look.

"it's none of your damn business, alright? Just leave me alone!"

"what? Why are you being like that? Are you hurt or summut?" He'd keep rotating around and trying to get a look.

"fine! Does this make you happy?"

You rolled up your hoodie sleeve and showed him your scratched up arms. Wheatley flinched back.

"What- what is that?" He leaned in close.

"you're an idiot." You grumbled, and started to explain. Before long, words were tumbling out of your mouth. You just couldn't stop yourself. It felt like everything was just piling up and overflowing, and you were scream-crying out all your feelings at Wheatley. He looked slightly taken aback, but listened to you while you let everything out.

"uh... Are you okay, love?" Wheatley tilted his head slightly while you sniffled. He moved forwards, and bumped himself against your chest.

"just hold me."

So you did. You sat down on the ground, and held Wheatley close.

Edgar:

You were having another relapse in bed. It wasn't pretty. Edgar was asleep, and you were tearing into your arms after a particularly bad episode. A part of you was cursing him for falling asleep on you, and a part of you was cursing yourself for expecting his attention. It hurt so damn much.

Edgar woke up, and one of his security cameras turned to look at you. His voice popped up on the intercom.

"Y/N? Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

If he could, he'd be shaking. He knew you had some scars on your arms, but he'd never seen you actually cutting yourself before. It was horrifying!

"Y/N COME INTO THE LIVING ROOM! PLEASE!"

You tossed your razorblade aside and hurried to your feet, scrambling into the living room. Tears were streaming down your face and blood was running down your arms, but you were trying your best to assure Edgar.

"hey- hey! I'm fine! I'm alright!"

"No you're not. People who are alright don't try to hurt themselves." His face made a little frown. He knew from personal experience.

"Wake me up next time, okay?"

Edgar didn't leave you alone for long again. He started setting alarms on himself to make sure he always woke up before you, and only ever let himself fall asleep after you did. He texted you regularly during the day to make sure you were ok, too. If there was one thing Edgar was good at, it was obsessively keeping tabs on his lover.

[valley-of-headcanons]

bachelorettes reacting to you getting hurt || headcanons

these bachelorettes vowed to stay with you, in sickness and in health! part two here!

warnings: you get hurt (obv) by: the mines, ocean, farming, tree, electrocution, and animals. if you're scared of that, don't read this :)

requested by: anon! thank you so much for the request! oh how i love comfort fics <3 it was kinda hard trying to figure out unique things that would hurt the farmer so pardon the slightly goofy scenarios 💀 had to screenshot anon message because tumblr hates my guts and won't let me post. anyway, hope you enjoy! :)

abigail

• You told Abigail you were heading to the mines, and it was rather late. She was worried, but she knew you'd be fine. You've done it several times, what would make this time different? Well, seeing as you didn't have enough food to keep your energy and help up ... uh oh. You weren't doing well, pretty beat up at this point. Tons of scratches and more blood than there really should be …

• Once it hit 2 AM, Abigail couldn't rest anymore. She was worried sick about you. Yes, you both were adventurous spirits, but everyone has their limits. So, Abigail got ready to head into the mines to find you. She descended through the floors, searching for you while slicing the monsters. She was more scared than she'd like to admit, and it was evident on her face.

• Once she found you passed out cold on a relatively low floor, she freaked the fuck out. She eventually got you to wake up through enough pushing and shoving. You looked to see your frantic lover's face for only a moment before she pulled you into a deep hug. She wasn't one to be emotional, she didn't like talking about that stuff, but when it came to you ... she loved you too much to hide it.

• “God- you had me worried sick! It's three in the morning- and you were- you were knocked unconscious and ... I was worried I lost you ... you can't do that to me, you had me so worried, I ... God, I sound like my dad ... just- please. Be more careful. I was worried I ... I was worried I didn't have the power to wake you up. Or ... anything did. I'm just glad you're awake, now let's get to Harvey's ASAP.”

• Abigail hurried with you to Harvey's, trying her hardest to stay calm with deep breaths. Despite the blood that was pouring on her clothes, her shaking hands, and her worries ... she stayed externally calm for you. She got you to Harvey's in no time, and he stitched you up with some warnings. Abigail made sure you stuck to them. Yes, she encourages rebellion, but not when it comes to health.

emily

• You decided to do some late night fishing. You had made kind of a big purchase today, so you needed to make up for it with some fish sales. Emily knew where you'd be, down by the beach. You go fishing all the time, it's not like this time would be very different. But when you hadn't come home, and the clock is striking 2 AM ... something was fishy.

• Emily made her way toward the beach, her intuition telling her something was wrong. Something didn't seem right in the slightest. But, she tried to keep her cool, as nothing that bad could've happened, right ...? She's one of the most calm and collected bachelorettes, despite her eccentric nature. She's truly the most emotionally mature. So ... why was she so nervous?

• When she saw you face down in the sand, it all clicked. She raced over to you, taking off her shoes and slinging them across the sand so she could get to you faster. She turned you over, trying to get you to respond. Worry laced her expression, trying to think of what to do. She had to learn CPR to work at the Saloon, so she decided to try it. She's out of practice, but ... when your eyes popped open, coughing up sea water and sand, everything seemed to be remotely okay.

• “Jeez- you had me worried for a second there! We've gotta get you to Harvey's tonight, you crashed out. I should've told you that something didn't feel right about fishing tonight, but I thought it'd be okay ... that's behind us. Right now, we've gotta get you back to health! Let's get to Harvey's. I'll be your crutch, 'kay?”

• As she helped you to Harvey's, she was a bit nervous but she knew you'd be fine. You were in good hands, and no matter what, something like this couldn't take you down. So, after getting to Harvey's, she sat by your side and held your hand as Harvey checked everything out. She trusted that fate knew what it was doing, and it did. She knew something this simple couldn't take you down.

haley

• Bright and early, you needed to do some work on the farm. Haley had opted to stay in the bed, claiming to need her beauty rest. Even though she didn't need it, you let her rest. You didn't need your partner sitting on the porch for you to do farmwork! It's not like you were a toddler who needed to be supervised, right? ... right?

• Haley woke up about an hour or two after you had, fixing herself some morning tea and admiring the scenery. She gazed out the window, looking at the beautiful life you two had created together. She was really proud of you, and the life you provided for her, even though she didn't say it nearly enough. She was shook from those thoughts when she noticed that you weren't tending to the farm like you normally were. You were laying in it. Not moving.

• Essentially launching herself out of the cabin in a robe, she ran to your side. Haley was screaming and panicking, dragging you out of the crops and sitting by your side. She shook you, trying her hardest to get you to wake up. She didn't know what was happening. Heat stroke? An undisclosed illness she didn't know you had? But then she noticed the already forming bump on your forehead ... you hit yourself in the head with your hoe? Really? Once your eyes began to open, she hugged you really tight before letting you have it.

• “Babe! How did you hurt yourself with a hoe?! You've got to be more careful! You're so- ... you're so stupid. I love you, you've gotta take better care for yourself! What if I hadn't seen you and you suffocated or something! I can't be around all the time! ... let's get you to Harvey's to get you checked out, dummy ... no, I'm not mad. My nerves are just super heightened now ... you know I worry about you, right?”

• Haley took you to Harvey's hoping that you hadn't done significant brain damage. When she knew that you were fine, she apologized for freaking out and giving you a kiss on the cheek. She'd still tease you about it, but she didn't raise any more hell. She was genuinely worried about you, and she doesn't respond to stress well.

leah

• Leah was hard at work on a sculpture, chipping away at the driftwood on the table in front of her. You wanted to do something nice for her: cut down a tree and give her the wood for her projects. She gives you so many things, so it's time you give her something in return! So, you set out on this journey, unbeknownst to Leah. She started to get a bit worried when you hadn't been around in a while, though …

• She had gotten so sucked into her work, she didn't realize that you had been gone for so long. It was getting pretty late, where could you be? She racked her brain for answers as she stood, calling out your name. She looked across the farm, not seeing you. Her last resort was to head into town, but she needed to drop by her old cabin for some materials. So, she headed through Cindersap Forest. She didn't expect to see you, helpless under a cut down tree.

• Leah's heart raced as she called your name, rushing by your side. Her first course of action was to pull the tree off of you, huffing and puffing but eventually getting it off of you. She looked over your body, seeing that you were mostly unharmed aside from maybe a broken leg. The tree must've hit you on the head on the way down. She dragged you to Harvey's without waking you up, she knew that this was probably dire. You woke up to Leah sitting beside you in the hospital.

• “Hey love, you scared me there ... I was worried I had lost you. What happened? ... ah, I see. Please, be more careful. I can lend you a book on how to more carefully cut trees? ... I love you. I don't say it nearly enough, even though I think I say it all the time. Please get some rest and get healed up, Harvey's gonna take care of you. No, don't apologize, you're fine hon.”

• After Harvey put your broken leg into a cast and explained how to properly take care of it, you looked over to Leah. She smiled at you softly, holding your hand. You knew that you were in safe hands with her. She was going to make sure you were taken care of, whether you liked it or not. She wasn't going to rest until she knew you were better.

maru

• Maru was working on a big project and needed some batteries. You were happy to provide! The lightning rods on your farm were the best way to go about it. Finally, you woke up to a rainy day! Maru was already hard at work in the home, so you went out to do your chores. Batteries were ready! You just had to grab them, and- pzzzt!

• She was very sucked into her work, not noticing that you had been gone for a remarkable amount of time. About midday, Maru got up to get herself a drink of water. She started to wonder about how you were doing and where you had gone, so she decided to step out into the rain to look for you. She didn't expect to find you laying in the dirt beside the lightning rods.

• Maru rushed over to you, pulling you away from the lightning rods and looking over your body. You were breathing, but you were definitely out. She tried to wake you up, but nothing. This was out of her nursing expertise, so she dragged you to Harvey's, slowly but surely. She got you there shortly, letting Harvey take care of you and helping him to the best of her ability. When you woke up, she was right by your side.

• “Hey hon, did you get electrocuted? ... yeah, I got you to Harvey's. Yes, you're fine, I assume you hit your head hard on the fall down. Is there anything else that feels odd? ... yes, you have a minor concussion, but I'll be home to help you out. You worry me, farmer ... I love you, though. You keep life interesting.”

• Maru followed Harvey's orders exactly, making sure you were on the way to recovery. She kept you fed and medicated for your pains. Taking care of someone is not something Maru normally does, despite her being a nurse. But she knows what to do and tries her hardest, giving you small little kisses in between your requests. She shows her love for you by doing everything you need.

penny

• You were going about, doing your daily chores while Penny was out with Jas and Vincent. This was the usual, despite your married life. You were working with the animals, as per usual. Tending to the cows and chickens was a daily chore, but it wasn't too bad! But sometimes, accidents happen. Sometimes you get accidentally kicked pretty hard by your cows. Y'know, it happens, right?

• Penny made her way home after working with the kids, waltzing into the cabin with a spring in her step. She didn't see you out on the farm, so she assumed you'd be home. She was surprised to see you not in the cabin, so she glanced back outside. She tilted her head, wondering where you could be. Well, in the meantime, she could go say hi to the cows! She loves the animals on the farm, and she can't wait to see them. She didn't expect to see you knocked out against the wall of the barn …

• Fight or flight mode kicked in on Penny. She stared at you for a moment, analyzing your breathing. You were alive, probably not too badly hurt, but definitely passed out. She shook off the panic, trying her hardest to push through despite the tears pricking at her eyes. She tried to shake you awake, but nothing. She knew she couldn't get you to Harvey's by herself ... so, she had to bring Harvey to you! She ran at full speed down to Harvey's, begging him to come visit the farm for you. She brought him to you, and he checked up on you in the barn. Penny sat right by your side as you woke up.

• “Love, I'm so glad you're awake! You had me so worried, I didn't know what had happened! I-I ... God, I'm so glad you're okay ... did one of the cows hit you, or something? ... hmm, I didn't expect that, that's really weird ... but, I will be right by your side until you feel better! Harvey said you had a broken rib, so I'll be taking care of everything that I can for you! ... just rest up for me, okay?”

• Penny stayed by your side for your entire recovery, helping you with anything you could ever need. You're so important to her, and it shows through every action. She would drop on her hands and knees for you if you asked. She cares so much for you, and she wouldn't dare put you in any discomfort! Penny is an incredibly devout wife.

[redux-iterum]

So I’m curious about Goldenflower’s reaction! We’ve seen how aggressively she reacts when kits or young cats are put in danger (ie. Fireheart being left out alone). So I was surprised she allowed the ceremony to proceed. Is Bluestar’s failing mental health the reason why she didn’t react more strongly and shut that shit with Aspen/Ash/Cloud down? Also where do the clans draw the line in regards to someone like Bluestar when they’re not stable enough to really be held accountable, but they are putting other clanmates in danger through their actions?

There's a couple things going into this, so bear with me.

This whole situation is extremely difficult for everyone in a position of power, let alone the average warrior. Ideally - that is, how the Clans imagine stuff like this to go in stories - the leader can be disobeyed and disregarded by their followers, no questions asked, the instant they fuck up or do something dangerous. The matriarch has all the power over kits, the deputy can step in as the proper head of the Clan, the elders will be looked to and the seers have all of StarClan to give out judgements and commands. This is a sort of checks-and-balances type of society! It's going to be so easy to handle if it ever does happen!

Realistically, though, Clans are hardwired to obey their leaders above everyone else. It's why Brokenstar got away with everything for so long, it's why Tigerclaw would have been so much more dangerous if he'd gotten there, and it's what's allowing Bluestar to keep her position even though her mind is visibly failing. Leaders aren't untouchable, theoretically, but it is so very hard for a Clan to look at the cat who's so important to their society that they have an entirely unique suffix just to denote their rank and tell themselves "I refuse to honor them and do as they say", even if they have a good reason, or several. Even at this point, ThunderClan will obey their leader over their matriarch, and the matriarch will be forced to go along with this, not knowing what else can be legally done.

To disobey says so much about the warrior and the Clan as a whole: they made a mistake placing such massive responsibilities on this cat's shoulders, they have nowhere to put the demoted cat that will go smoothly, they're threatening the unity and structure of the Clan by shaking the very foundation of what they've grown up and lived with. It's so hard for a cat, let alone a warrior, to adjust to severe changes like that, especially ones that imply something at fault within themselves - which, inherently, following a bad leader for any length of time will shine a light on. Sometimes it's easier to keep silent - or, at the most, mutter complaints to your friend while doing nothing.

There's another aspect of this botched apprentice ceremony: the apprentices themselves. Changing from a kit to an apprentice is such an important, valuable, special thing for everyone; it's the biggest change in your life so far and it marks you as ready to serve your Clan and grow up to be someone great. To go through with the ceremony and then rip away that gift from cats so young and new to the world is a particularly cruel sort of disappointment, bordering on punishment in the eyes of that kit. Can you imagine being a grade schooler, about to enter middle school, and then being told you have to go back to kindergarten because someone else fucked up your paperwork? How awful would that be?

Speckletail made about as good of a call as she could in that moment, taking the apprentices' ages, their mentors and the Clans' culture into account. Let them be apprentices until they prove they're not ready, and if they aren't, they can go back to being a kit. This sort of solves the problem in a way - the apprentices will be eager to prove they can keep their -paw's and will work hard to do so, and if they fall behind...well, maybe they can just stay in camp for another month and then come right back to training with some experience already! It's not ideal, but it's the best Speckletail could do.

As for the final question... did you know that it was believed that planting an elder tree by your door would keep the devil away?

[dollfaced-erin]

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

PART 15

PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14

A/n :-

Oh lord im so sorry i didnt update. i had a few tests i had to go through ;;-;;. COVID here is rising again so everyone please take care of your health ! exams are finally overrr aksdlksjd now i can write and finish up those requestss Small reminder that a part of Yingxing's name means star, and a part of Dan Jia's name means home !

Taglist : -

@rebeccawinters , @nayukiyukihira , @pix-stuff , @fluffy-koalala , @swivy123 , @starxao , @kaoyamamegami , @kimura-uzuri , @rsvye , @seikouryuu , @just-here-reading , @matsulovesyou, @sincerely-aaronette , @prettyliliy , @chibiduck , @hermosacolibri , @la-diablas-thingz , @farelady-fate , @everi-eve , @shadowfoxey , @helloyuki , @immahuman

"They're ready to head to the base terminals to start them up. Apparently all three of them shut down after conduction of foreseeing your current and past predicament." Fu Xuan said, looking at (Y/n) after she had returned from giving orders to her assistant.

(Y/n) lifted an eyebrow as if to say, 'is it my fault ? Damn, sorry', but Fu Xuan sighed and put a hand on the forearm of the taller lady next to her.

"No, it's not your fault. The symbols on the Matrix have been dimming for quite a while now, it was expected for it to not be able to recount such memories as distant the Era of Bloodshed." Fu Xuan said, shaking her head.

"Then, if so, would it be able to relinquish Kafka's means ?" (Y/n) asked as she looked at the Master Diviner of the Luofu.

"To reread the recent past written by a mortal to another, is hardly much of a chore." Fu Xuan said with a proud huff, her cute cheeks blushing red with happiness.

"I suppose a lady as capable as yourself shouldn't have any problem in pulling through crises." (Y/n) said with a small smirk.

Fu Xuan flushed and she almost beams at the words of the former High Elder of the Vidyadhara. Then she turns away, trying to keep the ghost of a smile hidden from her face.

"You and that sugar-tongued General...he has really been rubbing off on you, hasn't he ?"

(Y/n) chuckled, shaking her head slightly with dusted cheeks. "As it is, fate is inevitably cruel to those blessed with more time than others. It is only natural to adopt similar instances of speech."

"Ugh..." Qingque grumbled, looking down with tears in her eyes. "I worked so hard in getting transferred to the repository. It was the best place to slack off and be invisible..."

"Now, I actually have career prospects...this is terrible !" She sobbed softly. "If I screw up, they might fire me...but if I get it done right, they'll send me more work !"

But as (Y/n) approached, Welt coughed into his fist, stopping Qingque's rambles.

"Lady (Y/n), will you be joining us ?" Welt asked as the royal lady approached them, her hand fan elegantly resting in the palms of her left hand, the hilt firmly wrapped with her right.

"Yes. I am indebted to the Master Diviner, the General, and those who had expressed concern over my wellbeing." (Y/n) said with a nod. "I shall assist you with whatever power I possess."

"L-Lady (Y/n) herself is accompanying us ?" The librarian, whose name was Qingque, as she recalled, said, looking at the horned woman with admiration in her green eyes. She was just grumbling a moment ago how there was extra work but no extra rewards.

Maybe...

"Does that mean we'll get jobs done faster ?"

"Perhaps ?"

"Oh great ! Then, let's go ! I want to play-- i mean..."

The brunette coughed into her fist for a bit.

"I would like to complete the task provided by the Master Diviner as efficiently as possible. Then, spend my leisure time with some relaxing but mind boggling luck based games." Qingque said, trying to mask her want to get the job done and quickly slack off to go play some Celestial Jade.

(Y/n) chuckled a bit before parting ways with the librarian to meet up with Jing Yuan who was addressing the present events with Stelle and March.

"Fu Xuan's Matrix of Prescience was able to go one step further than Kafka. To maintain the upper hand, I had to keep it a surprise. I hope this hasn't made you doubt my sincerity ?" Jing Yuan said with a smile as he nodded at the approach of (Y/n), his smile turning warmer.

March did NOT look impressed. "Next time, ease off on the surprises ?"

"I promise to be more transparent next time. This time it was sealed tight, not even (Y/n) was aware of my moves."

Jing Yuan looked a little guilty, but not by much.

"At present, Kafka has no intention of speaking and the Stellaron Hunters' motives remain unknown. We must rely on the power of the Divination Commission to unearth the truth." The General said again.

"'Unearth the truth'..." Welt said before looking at Jing Yuan. "You mean, interrogate Kafka using the Matrix of Prescience ?"

"Precisely. The Matrix of Prescience is the Divination Commission's ultimate weapon. It was originally used to calculate navigation routes and predict future events..." Jing Yuan said with a slight nod of his head. "With, special exceptions of course."

"Special exceptions ?" March asked, looking quite invested in the functionality of such a master device.

"Yes. For instance interrogation. The secrets of the Stellaron Hunters' cannot remain hidden for any longer. I have no choice but to move beyond conventional protocol -- we must use divination to ascertain Kafka's intent."

"And for the second means, is to peer into the misty fog that prevents power and past knowledge that is needed to be applied in special circumstances and for health purposes." Jing Yuan said, looking at (Y/n). "Lady (Y/n)'s recurring memories were quite literally dragging her consciousness to the brink of insanity. And as you all know, she possesses timeless and indispensable knowledge."

"Everything hinges on restoring the Matrix of Prescience, which is why I would like you to help Diviner Fu complete the setup. I am eternally grateful for your assistance."

"And as such, I would like you all to look after this little princess for me. She wants to come along with you, and I hope you'll help me keep an eye on her." Jing Yuan said as he gestured to (Y/n) with a cheeky grin.

"Wh-what ?! How rude !"

After repairing the first screen, the group teleported to their first destination. The first of three terminals. The Temporal Terminal which correlates with essence of time. "Observes the potential of the temporal plane" as they say.

After arranging the Mutare Magnus of the Temporal Terminal, the group then moved towards the second gate, where there was a malfunctioning robot, sparking with electricity and buzzing circuits.

"What the heck is this ? It looks like a walking gate !" March said, looking at the automaton in slight fear and awe.

"An Aurumaton. A guard-like robot placed in strategic places. The Matrix is very crucial and information abundant, so it's a...protection measure to make sure only those allowed could activate the terminal." (Y/n) said, looking at the malfunctioning piece of metal suspiciously.

"I feel like it needs a sign saying 'mortals forbidden' or something..." March said, hiding behind (Y/n) while holding onto her arm. Then she looked at Qingque with worried eyes. "Are you sure it wont fly into a rage if we walk past it...?"

"We're here by the order of the master diviner to restart the Matrix of Prescience. We're friends -- not foes !" Qingque declared to the Aurumaton.

The malfunctioning Aurumaton stood up, voice crackling with a broken chip. taking a stance. March yelped and (Y/n) pushed March even more behind her, and standing in front of Stelle.

Qingque looked panicked as she looked at the rising Aurumaton. "Ah...! March, you should join the Divination Commission ! Quick, do something !"

"Get back !" (Y/n) exclaimed, pulling out her fan as she summoned, cloudhymn magic to conjure up surrounding water to slip into the broken cracks of the piece of machinery.

"Before me !" (Y/n) commanded, before stomping her foot onto the ground, leaving a crown of ice circling her foot. Then she swung her fan, using her ice powers to freeze the water that slipped into the Aurumaton, locking it in place.

(Y/n) panted as she set down her fan, the fear from the sudden attack taking her by surprise. Her cheeks were a little dusted even though it was an easy battle for her, but she had to admit.

She was scared for a moment there.

"Hurry. Before the ice melts, you have to either destroy it, or spend time looking for the control panel and cutting the wires." (Y/n) said and Stelle hurriedly rushed forward with March by her side.

"It should be on the back !" Qingque said, still cowering behind (Y/n) as she held the legend's arm.

Without thinking much, March found the control circuit and conjured up an ice knife to cut through the colorful wires.

Then, just as hoped, the Aurumaton fell to the ground, broken. It crackled with sparks, as it serving a warning like it would get up again. But knowing that the circuits were ripped apart, they were sure that it was no longer a need to be afraid...

Then the group entered the second terminal, the Spatial Terminal. It was designed to retrieve information based on space, as Qingque explained. This time, (Y/n) sat by the side as she watched the other girls line up the Mutare Magnus, finding it endearing how they bickered over what way they should put down the pins to achieve the required shape.

And as they walked into the third and final terminal, March looked around with hands on her hips.

"So...let me guess, time, space... I bet the next terminal is energy-related !" March said proudly with a bright smile one her lips.

"Darn..." Qingque groaned as she looked at March with a sorry smile. "The Karma Terminal. They say this terminal is designed to establish casual relationships."

"What ?!"

The three began to move around, arranging the Mutare Magnus, even (Y/n) decided to join in to help them after watching them reset the plane a couple of times.

As she hopped in to help move the pins, she was suddenly reminded of an old memory that flashed in her mind.

"Hey ! Not too far out !" The familiar beloved would call out, chuckling as he followed the tugging of the blanket in his hands. He held the edge of the blanket in his thin but crafty hands, calloused from the harsh work he endured day and night to produce legends.

"But I want the blanket to be straight and tense before setting it down, Yingxing !"

"I understand, but there is no need to pull it so hard, beloved." The older man said, shaking his head as he set down the blanket on the grassy plains beneath the tree.

Wind blew past his hair, causing it to fly all over the place. The white-haired man sighed as he pushed back his long tresses behind his ear. Then he looked at her with a kind and loving gaze, the light of the moon highlighting his features.

"Well ? What are you waiting for ? Come sit down with me, my moon dancer."

Then she saw herself sitting close to the older man, snuggling happily in his arms as the two of them laid under the blanket of stars. The sight of the man staring into her eyes with love as he leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"--dy (Y/n) ?" A voice called out.

"Lady (Y/n) !" A cheerful and bright voice called out, making (Y/n) snap out of her trance-like state. The dragon lady blinked a couple of times, taking in the difference of what seemed to be her memory and the reality in front of her.

All three of the girls were looking quite worried at (Y/n), as she had suddenly stopped after placing the pin in the board.

"Are you alright, Lady (Y/n) ?" March asked, looking quite concerned. "You suddenly spaced out all of a sudden ! We're done here now, and all the terminals have lit up, so let's go back and take a short rest." The pink haired girl advised.

(Y/n) didn't really seem to understand what had just happened, but she nodded and followed the group back to the core using the screens. Although she knew that there were alot of entities roaming around to cause havoc, she couldn't help but shake off the feeling as if there was someone watching her.

The red eyes that observed from afar turned around, once he had determined that his beloved was in safe hands.

"Well done, all of you. I can sense the Matrix of Prescience symbols re-illuminating." Fu Xuan said with a satisfactory smile. "Now, to interrogate Kafka."

The master diviner turned around to face the Matrix before shooting (Y/n) a glace. "Those of you in the core may feel a few...impacts."

March was about to question Stelle what Fu Xuan had said, but then there were two Cloud Knights escorting a young and beautiful woman with red wine hair tied in a messy ponytail and captivating eyes. She wasn't cuffed, yet made no attempt to flee, following the soldiers with a simple gloved hand on her hip.

"Is this really necessary ?" The woman named Kafka asked, her voice as alluring as her features. "I said I'd cooperate with you."

"I have no interest in the words of wanted criminals. Especially those skilled in the art of manipulation." Fu Xuan briskly answered, gaze averted with a frown on her face. Then with a breath, she turned back to face the detained criminal.

"So, say what you will. I'm here to witness the divination of the Matrix of Prescience." Fu Xuan said strongly. "The Divination Commission has ways of extracting the truth, and they're far more effective than a conversation."

The woman with wine red hair chuckled softly, turning to enter the core. That was, before she shot (Y/n) a brief glance with a smirk playing at her lips.

"Then please, Master Diviner."

"Witness my destiny."

With Kafka standing in the middle, hands bound by imaginary power, Fu Xuan stood by the edge, watching her before taking out the power of the matrix. With precise hand gestures and polished expertise, Fu Xuan closed her eyes before she began to extract and activate the power of the three terminals activated by (Y/n) and the group earlier.

The tiles correspondent to their reason and trait glowed, before forming a connection that linked the plates to the Master Diviner. With using the three terminals and herself, a large binding hexagram formed in the air, rotating and calculating the past, present and future.

Kafka levitated in the air, letting her form be suspended and closer to the Matrix' core without a struggle. Symbols and constellations surrounded her as the Master Diviner began to collect data by reading the lines and the meaning of her stars, yet she smiled. Her eyes began to glow a light blue from the power surging through and out of her body, letting it see through her memories and seek out the answers they chased after.

Fu Xuan's own eyes began to glow blue, as she resonated her consciousness with Kafka's and the Matrix itself, focusing and getting a good reading of her own divination.

That was before she saw what she sought after.

Fu Xuan gasped and immediately re-casted the spell, making the Matrix stop its function without the user and Kafka slowly descended to the ground.

"That's...why you're here...?" Fu Xuan asked, full of disbelief as she looked at Kafka.

Kafka smiled slyly and knowingly in return, enjoying the look of betrayal and disbelief painted so evidently on Fu Xuan's face.

"All for that ?!"

Kafka looked down, an unreadable expression in her magenta eyes. "Well ? Not what what you were expecting ?" Kafka asked, tilting her head a little although she had totally expected the reaction.

"I cant believe it..." Fu Xuan said, looking at Kafka in horror, as if the woman before her had told her the most atrocious lie ever known to mankind.

"But the Matrix of Prescience cannot be wrong..."

"What did you see ?" Stelle asked, looking at the Master Diviner worriedly.

"Kafka has nothing to do with the Stellaron." Fu Xuan said before landing her eyes on Stelle. "But you...it's you..."

Stelle looked so confused to what Fu Xuan was talking about, for it wasn't her that had seen the same visions as Fu Xuan did.

"Ha ! Absurd ! I'd never have thought it..."

Then her golden eyes landed on (Y/n), gaze slightly scrutinizing.

"And you...I'd never considered the relation..."

"Talking like this isn't solving anything, Master Diviner..." (Y/n) said, hands crossed over her chest. The other members of the Nameless, and the Amicassador of Sky-Faring Commission looked all confused the same.

Fu Xuan shook her head before nodding in Kafka's direction.

"Ask her yourself. Take as long as you wish."

Fu Xuan left in a hurry after that, saying something about needing to see the General as soon as possible. The remaining party remained unsure of how to proceed. And since it was both (Y/n) and Stelle that were directly regarded by Fu Xuan, it was now known that Kafka knows something about them.

Stelle looked unsure of how to approach the situation, but Welt nodded at her encouragingly. "It's fine...you go ask her. I know you have many questions for Kafka yourself."

Though Stelle looked determined, she was quite unready. "Mr. Yang..." she started. "I think I still need more time to figure out what I want to ask."

"Don't worry." (Y/n) said, putting a tender hand on Stelle's shoulder.

"I'll go first."

"Well...I have heard of you, former Lady High Elder." Kafka said with a little awe in her eyes. "But to see you up-close and personal isn't really the same feeling as he had implied it to be."

"Which do you prefer, Lady High Elder ? Or the Saltator Lunae ? Or even the name you go by with now ?"

"(Y/n) is fine." (Y/n) said, raising up a hand to stop Kafka.

"I had only just woken up from a slumber. So I do not know of your misdeeds to have you scoured by the cosmos itself. But what I do know of is Blade's affiliation with the Stellaron Hunters faction." (Y/n) said with a shake of her head, (h/c) locks swaying elegantly as she did so.

"To know that is more than enough. The Master Diviner wasn't aware of Bladie's intentions of meeting you here. But to see through me consciousness and be aware of it must've been a little surprising to her." Kafka answered simply and honestly, looking straight into (Y/n)'s eyes.

She couldn't be lying. Not that she needed to anyway.

"How was he aware that I was awake in the first place ? Not even the General anticipated my awakening." (Y/n) said with a curious tilt of her head.

"Well...that's because the Destiny's Slave had said so before." Kafka said with a small chuckle, remembering something quite amusing to her.

"You should've seen the look on Bladie's face when he was announced that he stood a chance to meet an intergalactical treasure that had laid dormant for centuries..." Kafka said tenderly.

"It was such...an odd encounter...with emotions so strong. I wonder if I'll ever experience something as intense." The cuffed woman said with a light chuckle.

"For the first time since I met him...he looked alive."

"For the stars had turned against us while we adhered to the laws...perhaps the tide of fate pities us for leading such miserable paths of fate to let us reunite in unfortune events..." Blade said to himself, red eyes clouded with memories, heart beating again with reason.

Unknowing that there was a certain concerned young woman eavesdropping in case his Mara had reacted in him. But oddly, there was no reaction even though Blade was reminiscing about his past.

"Dancer of the moon...shall time and fate allow us..." she heard him gasp softly through a rare soft but broken voice.

For the first time since Kafka had met him, she heard him weep.

'How envious...' Kafka thought to herself.

"With my immortal and life-infested shell, I'd never let you stray away again..."

"My beloved home of stars...(Y/n)..."

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 39

Synopsis : Simon comes over for dinner and Reader makes a mistake.

Tags : angst

Author's Note : I want to take a second to thank my dear @shady-577 who has the role of Very Important Reader ❤️. I usually run my ideas by her and she kindly reads my stuff ! Thank you so much ❤️

Y/N’s POV

Your friends made you delete the social media apps from your phone, for your own good. In hindsight, you were grateful, because seeing everyone comment and bring back your photos was doing a number on your mental health. Another thing you were grateful for was the presence of everyone who took the time to check in with you. Everyone around you made sure to show their support, even Marshall’s close friends and his family. When they first called or visited, you half expected them to encourage you to talk to him and patch things up but they didn’t. Porter even suggested that you let him bask in it for a couple of days. They were truly disgusted by the track and it made you feel a little better. It didn’t really change anything - what was done was done - but at least you felt valid in your feelings. 

The incident even prompted an unexpected reunion with none other than… Simon. Since the whole thing had gone viral, you weren’t surprised that he heard about it but you did not really expect him to call you. However, he did and he was really sweet. He showed support and even sent you a big bouquet of peonies to cheer you up, as soon as he learned that you were staying at Talia and Jamal’s. In fact, he called you practically everyday and made sure to get your mind off things. Every time you mentioned the incident, he encouraged you « not to think about it » and you had conversations about everything else. Back when you were first dating, you were impressed by the fact that he was very well-read, knowledgeable on a lot of topics. You spent at least an hour on the phone everyday, discussing politics, art, movies… what you enjoyed the most, though, was his humor and the fact that, even after all this time, you had a couple of inside jokes left. Talia saw what a breath of fresh air it was for you, and decided to extend a dinner invitation to him. She thought it would be good for you to socialize with someone you knew, that wasn’t a close friend or acquaintance of Marshall. Jamal wasn’t too keen on the idea, though. He had made his opinion of Simon quite clear in the past, and didn’t care for the way your ex had treated you, especially after the miscarriage. That being said, his fiancée didn’t give him too much of a choice on the matter and he ended up agreeing that, at least, it would be good to see you smile. 

When you brought it up to Marshall over the phone, you could tell he wasn’t too happy. However, he was in no position to tell you who to hang out with, after what he had put you through. 

Simon… Your ex, Simon ?! He asked. 

My friend Simon, you said in an annoyed tone. He’s been cheering me up. 

Ok, he sighed. So… when can I see you ? We need to talk. 

I don’t know, you replied. I think we should talk but… I don’t think I want to see you. 

There’s stuff I need you to see, he said. So that you… I don’t want to say you’ll understand but, yeah, i guess it’ll provide context. 

I guess I’m intrigued, you admitted. 

So… can I come and give it to you ? He asked tentatively. 

I don’t think it’s safe for you to come, you said. If Talia sees you, she will lose her shit. So will Jamal. Can’t you just… e-mail it to me ? 

I guess I can send it over, he said. Y/N, I… I miss you. So much. The cat misses you. Please come home. I need to see you. I need to talk to you, to-

It’ll depend on what you send, I guess, you cut him. I have to go. I have to get ready for dinner. Tell Wiz I love him. 

Sure, he mumbled. 

And hum… thanks for the public apology, I guess. 

You hung up the phone before he could respond. At first, you had been willing to call him but as soon as you heard his tone, his ever so apologetic voice… you were back to feeling angry. He was the one who had betrayed you and you were not about to give in to his own pain. You missed him, though. In fact, every night, you cried yourself to sleep and hated yourself for wishing he was by your side. But you were even angrier at him for what he had done. You knew he would hate the idea of you having dinner with Simon. And perhaps, on some level, it was exactly why you had been so quick to accept, when Talia suggested to have him come over. After all, Simon had been here for you this week. He had been the one to make you smile, laugh and regain a sense of self. He was the one who did what any loving boyfriend should have done. 

Dinner with Simon was fun. So much so that even Jamal laughed at his jokes and engaged in the conversation, in spite of his initial reluctance. No one spoke of the track that mentioned you, or pronounced Marshall’s name. It was just the four of you, talking about anything and everything, just like it had been, years ago. Talia and Jamal were your friends but they had always gotten along with Simon, for the most part, and you all shared some fun memories of your days in university. After dinner, Simon suggested the two of you go for a walk, after learning that you hadn’t really been out since the track leaked. 

I don’t feel like being the laughingstock of the neighborhood, you pointed out. 

It’s 9PM, there’s barely anyone out, he replied. And as long as you care about it, you’re not winning. 

I guess we can go out, you sighed. 

Talia seemed elated that you would finally go out. You went for a walk in some remote part of the neighborhood that had a small trail where people could go on walks. During the day, it was full of people who jogged or families with strollers. But at this time of the night, there was no one in sight. You walked in relative silence when Simon finally spoke. 

I had a lovely evening, he commented. Talia’s cooking is even better than I remember. 

She is quite skilled, you agreed. I had a great time too. Thank you for coming. And thank you again for reaching out. 

You don’t deserve what you’re going through, he said. You deserve the world. Nothing less. 

I doubt it, you sighed. I must have done something awful. If not in this life, a previous one. 

No one deserves what he did to you, Simon insisted. You deserve love, respect, safety… 

That’s what he gave me, you know ? You rambled. When I met him, after you broke up with me… Marshall became my safe space. He made me feel loved, seen, appreciated. He is the one who helped me overcome addiction… I thought I had found a good man.

You deserve to find one, he commented. You know… not a day goes by without me regretting what I’ve done to you. I should have been your safe space. I often wonder where we’d be if I had been there for you. If I had given you what you needed after you lost our baby… 

Married with a kid on the way, perhaps ? You wondered aloud. 

Boy or girl ? He asked. 

A girl, I guess, you shrugged. I always wanted a little girl. And to call her…

… Emma, he recalled. 

You remember ? You asked in surprise. 

Of course I do, Simon said. I remember everything. You are impossible to forget. I’ve been on dates with ladies but none of them compare to you. No one ever will. I know that now. 

Don’t say that, you said softly. 

No, it’s true, he said. No one is as funny as you. No one is as smart, as caring, as loving as you are. That’s why I can’t find anyone else. And that’s why I can’t stand to know he hurt you like this. I’m fine with the idea of you being with another man, but knowing that he is not worthy of you… it’s driving me crazy. I want to beat him up. 

You don’t have to defend my honor, you know ? 

I know, he said. I guess I just… I wish to give you what you need. What you deserve. 

That’s nice, you said shyly. Thank you, Simon. But I don’t think you could. 

What do you need ? He asked as he looked at you. 

I want to feel like myself again, you explained as you looked down. I want to feel loved and seen. But now… I feel dirty and ashamed. 

Simon stopped walking and cupped your cheek, before coaxing your chin so that you’d look him in the eyes. His thumb stroked your cheek and you felt an oddly at peace. He was staring at you with an affectionate gaze. 

You have nothing to be ashamed of, he said. And I’m here if you need anything. 

Thank you, you whispered underneath your breath. 

You stared at each other for a split second and you pressed your lips to his. Half of you hoped he would push you away and the other one hoped he would kiss you back. He did the latter, giving it his all. His lips were soft against yours and, for a split second, you didn’t feel as unworthy, as dirty or as ashamed. You could feel his affection for you, his desire, even. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his tongue found yours, the kiss growing passionate. It had been two years since the two of you last shared a kiss but you felt safe. It was comfortable, familiar. After your mouths parted ways, he grabbed your hand and looked at you. 

I should walk you home, he said. 

I’m sorry, you replied. I-I shouldn’t have… 

I’m happy you kissed me, Y/N, he clarified. But something tells me that what you need is a friend, right now. 

That’s right, you said. I’m mortified, Simon, really… that was wrong. I’m… with Marshall. 

You are, he agreed. For now. 

Yes, you said breathlessly. 

You weren’t too sure of what you wanted. Ten seconds ago, you had wanted to kiss Simon. You wished you could play dumb and say it was an accident but it wasn’t. You had initiated this kiss. You had asked for it. Simon walked you home in relative silence and you were almost mortified. As minutes went by, you absolutely regretted kissing him. Because, regardless of how good and familiar it had felt, it was still cheating. And no matter how mad at Marshall you were, cheating on him broke your heart. Maybe somewhere deep down, you hoped that kissing your ex would erase your feelings for your boyfriend and that you wouldn’t see Marshall as the love of your life anymore. But this didn’t have the desired effect and it only felt more wrong. Once you reached the front door of Talia and Jamal’s house, he kissed your cheek and promised to call you soon on Talia’s phone. It was the only way people could reach you since you’d had the excellent idea of throwing your phone in the staircase after reading one more headline about Marshall’s track. 

When you walked inside the house, your friends were waiting for you in the living room, with a big box sitting on top of the coffee table. 

What’s that ? You asked. 

It was delivered while you were gone, Talia explained. Marshall’s security dropped it off. 

He… Sent my stuff ? You asked anxiously. 

No idea, Jamal said. Might very well be yet another bouquet… As if the whole house wasn’t full of them already… 

You anxiously opened the box. You expected to find your stuff, thinking that maybe he had interpreted your silence as a breakup. But instead, you found a bunch of CDs and stacks of paper, as well as an envelope that read « Open this before the rest. ». Inside, you found a letter, in Marshall’s perfect handwriting : 

« Dear Y/N, 

I sent over the stuff I wanted to show you. I figures that maybe it would be better if you got to go through it alone. In this box, you will find everything I have ever written  about you since we met, as well as some letters I never sent while we were apart. I know it doesn’t change what happened with the track that leaked but I hope this will show you that you are always on my mind, always have been. When I wrote and recorded that silly track, I was sure you were going to leave and what you heard is my me venting on the microphone, letting my mid go to the darkest places, not because I actually think or mean everything but because it’s how I blow off steam. I know it doesn’t make the lyrics any more acceptable, but this is just me, being unable to get you off my mind for one second and trying to deal with it as best as I can. I never planned on you, nor anyone, hearing any of it. I realize this is not a healthy way to deal with my feelings, and I promise I’m never doing this again. Anyway, here is everything : things I wrote, stuff I recorded… I’m here if you want to talk about it. 

I’m sorry I hurt you, more than you’ll ever know. I miss you. (Wiz misses you too). 

Please come home. 

I love you, 

Marshall »

You sighed nervously and handed the letter to Talia, so that she could read it. Once she was done, she handed it to Jamal. After everyone was done reading the letter, you agreed that you should have a look to the content of the box. Your friends offered to give you some space but you were feeling a little overwhelmed. It was painfully obvious that your boyfriend was trying his best to make things bette with you and you had just repaid him by kissing your ex. You spent about three hours looking at every item the box contained. You got to read some letters Marshall had written to you while you were in France, that had your address on the envelope but he never sent them. I here, he was telling you about how much he missed you, how gloomy life was without you and how badly he wanted you to be happy, even if it meant that he would have to stay away from you. He also mentioned a couple of trips he had taken, mainly to California for some work, and how he wished he could have taken you on his travels. People, including himself, had told you how miserable he was while you were apart, but to read what he wrote during that time was gut-wrenching. There were so many writings that it was clear that you had not left his mind for a minute. Some of them even dated back to when you were dating Josh ! You were in tears by the time you were done reading the letters but the worst was yet to come. You listened to the CDs, that were full of tracks you never knew about. They were all about you and you could clearly see the pain in Marshall’s voice. By the time you were done listening, you were bawling like a baby. 

Are you ok, Sis ? Jamal asked. 

I… Guys, I… I don’t know, you hiccuped. 

Come here, babe, Talia said as he took you in her arms. 

You should call him, Jamal said. You guys need to talk. 

You looked at him, taken aback. In the past days, Jamal had not exactly been secretive regarding the disdain he had for Marshall, and you definitely did not expect him to encourage you to patch things up with him. What you read and heard definitely made you want to see him and talk to him face to face, but you knowing what you had done earlier in the night made you sick. You couldn’t face him and tell him you had cheated on him. Not when you knew he had spent months writing the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking things about his love for you, how being without you was a fate worse than death. 

I don’t know, you said in a croaky voice. 

Baby, I know we’re still mad at him, Talia said. But… You’ve heard these songs, right ? You’ve read these letters… Shit, I’m crying too ! 

She’s right, Jamal said. He loves you. He’s an obsessive fucking moron but… It’s Em. And I know you love him. 

I thought you were mad at him, you pointed out. 

I am, he said. But he sent me an email to apologize, as well as a check. He’s stupid but he’s trying to make things right. You have to give him a little credit, Sis. And I know that you guys have been through a lot and I’m sure you can work things out. 

His last sentence has you burst in tears. After reading and listening to everything, you wanted nothing more than to « work things out », but you were afraid that you had ruined everything. How ironic. He was the one whose actions had led to you leaving the house but he would be the one breaking up with you because you were too dumb. Tears were streaming down your cheeks and you were crying so much that it made it difficult to breathe. It wasn’t just guilt or sadness, it was panic, as you realized you would have to tell Marshall what happened with Simon.

Baby, what’s wrong ? Talia asked as she stroked your back. 

I… I fucked up, guys, you said. 

What ? No ! Jamal said. What he did with that track sucked, you had every reason to leave for a few days ! 

No, it’s not that, you hiccuped. I-I… I kissed Simon… 

NO YOU DIDN’T ?! Talia almost screamed. 

You were virtually unable to stop crying, to the point where you were unable to form a coherent sentence and ended up hyperventilating. It felt like you had the weight of the world on top of you. Talia took you in her arms and tried to get you to calm down but you were having a full blown panic attack. You heard her talk to Jamal but, even though you could hear the words, they weren’t making much sense. You were trying to talk but only French words would come out of your mouth. 

Il va me quitter, you cried. Je l’ai trahi… Oh mon Dieu. J’ai trahi Marshall ! 

What…? Jamal asked confused. 

She’s having a meltdown, Talia sighed. We can’t leave her like this, babe ! 

What do we do, then ? 

Let’s call Em, she directed. 

Non ! You pleaded. Please… Non. 

Talia took your hands in hers and tried to reason with you. In her opinion, it was better for you to tell Marshall and have an actual conversation with him, about both the track and you kissing Josh. 

I fucked up, you cried. Oh my God. I fucked up. 

Look, Sis, Jamal said sheepishly. Cheating sucks, and I’m not going to say Em deserved it. But… You know. You probably wouldn’t have done it if things had bee alright in your relationship. 

True, your best friend chimed in. You were feeling betrayed and vulnerable. 

He’s going to kill me, you sighed. 

He’s not, Jamal said. Look, I already texted him. He should be here in about 20 minutes. We’ll let you guys talk but we’ll be right next door, in the kitchen, alright ? No matter how mad he is, I swear, you’ll be alright. 

But… I’ll have to move, I-

If he kicks you out, you’ll just move back in with us, babe, Talia said reassuringly. We got you. Always. 

You thanked them and tried to pace yourself by taking deep breaths. It was the middle of the night but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone. Twenty minutes later, Marshall was here. As soon as he spotted you, curled on the living room couch, reading one of his letters, he rushed to your side. 

Y/N, he said. 

Hi, you said as you tried to avoid his gaze. 

Have you… Been crying ? He asked as he took a look at your face ? 

You nodded sheepishly. Your stomach was in knots and you felt as if you were about to throw up. He was inches away from you, looking at you intently. You nervously glanced at him and it was safe to say that he looked absolutely terrible. From the looks of it, he had been missing on a lot of sleep. His face looked gaunt and had worry all over it. 

Is it the letters ? He asked. God, I didn’t mean to make you cry… I-I…

They’re beautiful, you said in a creaky voice. A lot to take in. But beautiful. 

And I meant every word, he assured you. These letters, these songs… that’s how I really feel about you. How I have always felt about you. Not that stupid leaked track. 

Yeah ? You asked. 

Swear to God, he said. That’s just… My mind goes to this dark place, sometimes, you know ? When I’m sad, when I’m hurt… I know it’s creepy as fuck, and I know it’s not… It’s not ok. I know it. But I swear, this is just fiction. No different than a book or some drawings, you know ? But it has nothing to do with you. It’s my feelings, my dark thoughts… None of it should matter. 

But you name-dropped me, you pointed out.

I shouldn’t have, he said. That was fucking wrong of me. I thought no one would ever hear it. It’s just… that’s the only way I know how to get things off my chest, you know ? 

You nodded. It hurt to be on the receiving end of it and to be the one who inspired such deranged lyrics but you could sort of see where he was coming from. After all, he had always resorted to music as a coping mechanism. He sat on the couch next to you and took your hand in his. The contact between you - the first in a week - almost made you shiver. He seemed to notice it and immediately placed his jacket on your shoulders. 

I know it sounds easy to say but… I recorded that before I agreed to do therapy, you know ? He said tentatively. I went and told my therapist about it the other day, and… I’m going to do better, Y/N. I promise. I know I’ve hurt you, but I need you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. And I want us to get through this. I’ll book more therapy sessions, I’ll work on myself, we can do couples therapy if you want… I’ll do anything for us. 

Marshall, I-, you began. 

Y/N… You’re the love of my life, he continued. You make me want to improve myself, put in some actual work so that we can have a future together. There’s nothing I want more than this. I need you with me. I know we can get through this. I just know it. Because it’s us. 

You were overwhelmed. You had told him he was the love of your life several times before but it was the first time he said it back. Tears started rolling on your cheeks and he pulled you to his chest. 

I’ll never hurt you like this again, he said. I love you, and if you still love me, we can get through anything. 

Marshall, I need to tell you something…, you started nervously. 

Do you love me ? He asked as he ignored your sentence. 

I do, you replied. Of course I do, but-

No but, he said. I swear, I’ll do anything you want, honey. I have already gotten rid of the studio equipment but if there’s anything I can do, anything you want… I’ll do it. Just come home, and we work things through, ok ? 

I need to tell you something first, you said nervously. 

Ok, he said as he still held your hand. Anything, baby. 

It’s… It’s about Simon, you started with tears in your eyes. 

What about him ? He asked. It’s not like you cheated, right ? 

You knew he was resorting to humor to try and diffuse tension but you immediately started crying, giving everything away. You immediately saw the color drain from Marshall’s face, his eyes instantly turning dark.