#all i can do is just keep swimming | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

birlwrites · 2 years

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my shortest prose work on ao3 is 253 words. my longest will cap out around 450k if we're LUCKY. oh god 😭

#well if it caps out around 450k then it'll probably only take me another 2 years to finish writing it #and then we move on to THE NEXT PART OF THE SERIES #this crisis is mainly because i didn't get much sleep we'll be fine everything will be fine #that math isn't mathing though. hang on #40 chapters = 150k #450k = ~120 chapters #now if i updated absolutely every week without fail that would take me a little over 2 years to post #we're already nearing 10 months in but at the beginning i was posting every other week iirc #ok maybe the math is mathing #all i can do is just keep swimming #like i can make predictions but the important thing is. write it #we've already gotten this far we just need to do this again x times until the series is completed #dark lord wip

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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 months

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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #very specifically class swap bard!riz #fh class quangle #mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao #riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going #on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly #freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall #annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience #crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling #sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for #I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like #bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao #junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin #the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again #and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't #obscure as much of his face #its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here #and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard #barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act #mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun #drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol

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cherubchoirs · 1 year

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happy summer from the sunny shores of purgatory 🌞🌴🍹

#ultrakill #v1 #gabriel #i know i just complained about summer BUT it's also a vibe #i've just been having fun lately making up color palettes #and i've been feeling very vibrant bc of the weather!!#plus i just. couldn't stop thinking about v1 learning to swim #but all it can do is doggy paddle. with a life jacket to keep it afloat #also i think it hot glued the flower to its head #doodle tag #(binary reads “wish you were here!”)

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pigeon-butch · 5 days

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I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist

#this ^ isn't directed at any post in particular but instead a lot of comments ive seen. but now im gonna talk about other posts down here #and prefacing anything i put in the tags here with DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH #but the biggest post ive seen going around rn about moo deng being mistreated and the general quality of khao kheow zoo is questionable #claims that the enclosure is mostly concrete seem to be false from all the sources i can find #the concrete section looks like its specifically around the feeding area which fits zoo care guidelines which specify that the feeding area #be a surface that can be easily cleaned separate from the substrate and is a surface present in other zoos #the lack of deep water also seems to be purposeful? older videos of the same enclosure show deeper water areas #and looking back through the news every baby pygmy hippo announcement from every zoo i could find mentioned periods where the baby had to #learn to swim and was slowly introduced from shallow water to deeper water as time passed #this was also corroborated by fowlers zoo and wild animal medicine volume 8 which suggests keeping the mother dry and then slowly #introducing water as the baby grows as a potential best practice #damn im treating this like a paper now. anyway the negatives #there are absolutely things that strike me as bad eg. public access to the hippos and the way the keeper interacts with them #for the keeper stuff in particular i'd really like to see input from someone who has experience as a zookeeper with pygmy hippos #the public access is something that i def think the zoo could improve on and even older footage from years ago shows people sticking like #selfie sticks and shit off the side of the railings and right into the hippos faces #however again the zoo seems to be making efforts to curb visitor behavior which is tough when you go from having 800 visitors a day to #4000+ and you can't remodel the whole exhibit right then and there #all this to say! just do your own research and take somewhat inflammatory comments on the internet with a grain of salt #also just to make it clear im not making any sweeping statements on khao kheow or the treatment of moo deng im just summarizing what i foun #based on what's being said in the most popular post on the subject ive seen.#for the potential like three people who will read all this hi :) hope ur having a nice day

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kimetsu-chan · 2 months

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I don’t think I should be allowed to move out lol

#*Patiently waits for this post to get old enough so I can vent in the tags* ( · ❛ ֊ ❛)#I NEED MY COMMUNITY TO BE APPROVED SO I CAN VENT WITHOUT BOTHERING ANYONE PLS #Edit: Kay vent time :3 #………………………………………………………………………#*looooonggggggg sigh*#I can’t live alone bc the second I’m alone I’m going to do things I know I shouldn’t.#I am very well aware these things are bad but I want to so badly :(#I have for- idk- like 4 months #And I keep thinking “oh you’re just feeling angsty rn it’ll go away” and it hasnt #I wish I never began to feel this way #I very much so think it is my eating disorder #Malnutrition is getting to me I think #Lol im not malnourished im just a dramatic baby #(Says while she eats one meal a day at best)#I wanna go back to being able to not eat for four days and no one noticing >:l #i think I can get out of dinner #Dad said “eat when you want” so when he gets home I’ll say I had some chicken nuggets or smth #We’re also going to the pool tn so I’ll be burning a good amount of calories:3 edit: nvm no swimming :((#I think that’s all for now :D #🌾#tw disordered thoughts #tw sh implied #tw sh destructive behaviour

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 9 months

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Just applied for a summer childcare position (like for a camp type thing) that pays 20–28 dollars an hour based on qualifications (I should be towards the end of that scale because I work in a school; and the only requirement the job lists is to be 16 and have experience with children). So hopefully they’ll consider me. That would be wonderful.

#I hate applying for jobs so much. Everyone uses a different website that makes you sign up for newsletters that clog your email #that you have to manually unsubscribe to #But yeah that’s way more than I get paid as a para lol #which is kind of sad because being a para or teacher is a lot more strenuous and complex than supervising kids during structured play #Because usually the kids enjoy stuff like rock climbing and swimming #so you don’t have to guide them through ten different layers of mental gymnastics to complete their work #or sometimes physically keep them from leaving the learning area after every problem they complete #(of course I do the last thing very gently; and I don’t like having to carry kids from under tables back to their seats #but they’re not going to learn anything if they stay underneath tables all day long… that kind of defeats the purpose of being in school.#I give a lot of verbal warnings before too. Some kids just refuse to learn all the time regardless of their mood because it’s funny to them #Anyway: Kids should not be playing video games past bedtime on a fucking Oculus Rift #Like seriously the tech withdrawal in some of these babies is palpable #Horrifying #Anyway this summer job will be a breeze if I get it #Hopefully no one will be begging me for chromebooks during rock climbing #(I know it sounds like I’m irritated with the kids; and I am. But it’s more irritation with their parents letting them become addicted #to iPads for the sake of convenience; and also frustration directed at capitalism that makes the parents so tired #that they let the iPad babysit their kids so they can rest. It’s the whole system man. It’s fucked.)

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likesplatterpaint · 11 months

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Would Louie forgive me?

Absolutely. In a heartbeat. Loubie loved me.

Will I ever forgive em myself?

I’m not sure.

#this is so fucking hard #because at least with dogs and cats for the most part you know you’ve done all you can for them #I could have done more and I thought I didn’t need to #I will forever scream at myself for not doing an immediate second water change and not realizing the coughing and the swimming frantically #was a really bad sign #I went to bed thinking he’d be fine I really did #I’ve been keeping puffers for over a decade why didn’t I just listen to my anxiety #I want my round baby boy back guys I miss him so much #this isn’t fair to him or me or mike #Louie was supposed to live to his late teens not 2.5 #he was so healthy and strong why didn’t he bounce back???#why didn’t I do a second water test to confirm the first 75% change was enough #why didn’t I take that octopus with the scallop on it out the night before I knew he hated those #gen is grieving #tw pet death

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foolishlovers · 9 months

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just woke up from dreaming about a good omens x h2o just add water crossover and now i can’t stop thinking about merpeople crowley and aziraphale swimming with dolphins and making out in the moon pool

#crowley is rikki obviously #first of all #he’s grumpy af #and rikki can burn things sooo #perfect for a fuming demon #they’d go to juicenet café every day and crowley would stare at aziraphale sipping on just perfectly scrumptious drinks with bulging eyes #let’s not do the whole keeping dolphins locked in a sea world kind of thing tho #just swimming with the ones in the wild #i also don’t vibe with any of the fishing stuff that happens in the series #just here for the merpeople exploring the sea and each other #good omens #aziracrow #foolish babbles

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elfsyellowflowerzart · 2 months

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very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)

and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos

#yew branch #also i just missed a step on the stairs going down and ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow #i am now trapped on the couch until my back stops exploding at least a bit #upside tho is that the kittens are playing together on the couch #sometimes right on my lap!! theyre so so so so cute #i adore them #BUT YEAH i shall be drawing when i return home provided my back allows me to sit upright by that time #bc it sure isnt rn GDJSGJS #im sad ill have to go home tho.. these kittens are some of the cutest beasts alive #life is worth living because every day kittens are playing and having fun #i miiiiiiight be able to indirectly take one #one of my best friends might possibly be able/willing to take one and keep her with her own cat for me #until i move out of my parents house mid next year #so i might get to have... kitten that ive watched grow up from newborns...#the story behind these kittens is that one of my other best friends took in a stray and she turned out to be pregnant #and had these two!!#im also watching the three adult cats in this house but theyre not nearly as much of a handful #as can be imagined this friend is very tired of having 5 cats in the house regardless of how small two of them are GDJSVSN #which is very very understandable #i dont think i would want five cats unless i had a fairly large house. if i had a large house and plenty of free time most of each day #to give them play time and tons of affection #as well as the physical ability to keep up with them all #then id gladly have five cats #who knows maybe someday ill have a nice big house and plenty of spare time and my ddd will be under control #but that doesnt seem likely #aside from ddd being managed! because i have a pain relieving steroid injection tomorrow and then ill be starting physical therapy!!#im excited and i have a lot of hope for at least the physical therapy to help #PLUS THEY HAVE A POOL FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!!!!! AND I LOVE SWIMMING ESPECIALLY AS A GENTLE WORKOUT #and low impact things are very important for my body specifically i cant do high impact exercise or itll hurt me #plus i just love being in water i swear i was meant to be an aquatic elf from dnd

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neonkoii · 3 months

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saw this tiktok today that said complaining to your coworkers about swim lesson kids is wild bc why are you literally beefing with a five year old and that’s how i feel about one of my girls this session

#she’s just a kid like truly i do not blame her for it and im trying really hard to be gentle with her #but she keeps telling me that everything im having her do is too easy!!!! and she’s not doing it very well!!!!#babe your 25 meter swim looks rough but if its really too easy throw down a 100 like that and we’re gonna have issues real quick #ill have her try a 50 soon but i need to fix her stroke before i can do anything else and i feel like she’s kinda set in her ways 😭😭#still love her though all of my kids are just doing my best fr fr #rowe rambles

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killerchickadee · 10 months

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It's rare for me to get gifts from other people in general, so like every year I bought myself a little Hanukkah present.

Because this little female betta caught my eye. And well... I've wanted to set up an eye-searingly pink tank for a minute.

The greenery and rocks in the back are actually

The other tank lol. 99.9% of the aquariums I've ever had have had that natural real everything with live plants setup. So the pink is uh. A bit of a departure lol.

....Also put a female betta in that one lol.

#they were just both SO ACTIVE #i was having a bad day and i walked past them and they were both like hello #and i was like yes hello you are coming home with me #in case you're wondering yes you can keep female bettas with other fish #like 90% of the time it's fine #the guppies do not know what to make of her #alice sent me gifties but that's probably all I'm getting for christmakkah so yeah I'm juat gonna do what i want lol #....also the betta in the pink tank keeps swimming into the filter lol like babygirl stop that

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j-esbian · 4 months

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sometimes i really do want to study the flavor of intense misogyny from older folks, especially when it comes from older women, that assumes all women and girls are sluts and deviants because (checks notes) fashion trends, which the individual consumer has no control over, means that most people’s only options, especially in summer, are to wear somewhat revealing clothing. because it’s hot.

#how have you gotten to this age and gone clothes shopping and not realized the landscape #like i first became aware of this problem at age 12 #i didn’t want to wear short shorts and honestly COULDNT bc of school dress code. but it was hard to find another option #enter those plaid bermuda shorts #and i can only imagine it’s 100x worse now in an instagram tiktok age than it was when i was that age #bc god knows I was embarrassed to wear those. felt like they were actively trying to be as ugly as possible #but for swim suits it’s a whole other can of worms #i currently do not own one bc i don’t want to get a wedgie every 30 seconds #two piece bottoms are all advertised as Cheeky. and i already know i have more ass than expected for my waist size #and the other option is. board shorts #but you’re going to blame the 14 year old for wanting to go to the pool??#‘and then they wonder why guys keep staring at them. where are their mothers i can’t believe they’re allowed out like that’#be so for real right now. they’re kids. they should be allowed to have fun and go outside without being creeped on #i always try to meet them halfway with ‘yeah it sucks that there’s not a lot of modest styles of clothes available’ and they’re just like #‘well EYE spent $100 at a specialty online store’ but these kids are going to forever 21 with cash from babysitting or whatever. try again #your single solution does not apply to everyone #like a LOT of it feels like projection. ‘i acted out as a teen so my daughter will do the same’#just not a lot of self awareness. combined with internalized sexism they’re not willing to question #sometimes when my coworker goes on one of her rants about how she’s glad she never had daughters bc of the Way Teenaged Girls Are #i want to be like. i wasn’t like that. your granddaughter isn’t like that.#i genuinely want to study these people. how did you get to this point

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skunkg1rll · 5 months

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like i confessed my love for him (1st time i've ever even done that) then i got neither rejected or accepted, patiently waited for 7 months and still hearing nothing about it... i still dont know what he felt or feels for me....then just being discarded like im absolutely worthless and my love completely useless.. i know it's my own fault for allowing it, but it still hurts.... i know i shouldnt even let him do this but ??? honestly what if im just asking for too much? idk idk. all i know is that i do feel like he doesnt appreciate anything i do and he is so extremely emotionally avoidant even i am shocked... i want to be patient with that bc i know that it isnt his fault or whatever. but he gives me absolutely nothing. then im just being pathetic and stupid honestly. but i still cant stop....

#tbh my best bet is just getting a life #having a job or going to school. meeting ppl IRL #trying to make new friends #move out #if i do all that then i can let go of him #i dont want to bc i actually want to spend my life with him #live with him be with him give him all my love. things he's said he wants (in general)#but if he doesnt want me thats that. no matter how much it hurts thats reality #cant force anyones feelings cant force anyone to care or wantyou #but i dont want to accept it bc he is all i want... but i cant have him....#:((((((( well #just gotta keep swimming ig 🐟🐟#the years will pass and i'll forget him and it will stop hurting #it will hurt for a long long time but it will pass #everything passes in the end #i know this. i just dont want to so thats why im fighting it

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dykedvonte · 6 months

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Fallout New Crashes

#this is a post of rage hurt and betrayal that is not quantifiable #Bethany Estha Oobleck are developers that love toying with my emotions like I’m a wind up Easter toy #twisting my key until it’s a struggle even for them but they don’t stop #not until they can’t turn anymore but they do not set me down when they let go #they hold me just above it so close my little plastic feet just barely scrap the floor #incessant the sound is scrapping as all the wound up energy is exerted #as I run in the water swim in the air all meaning I go no where #and just then I dropped and I teeter but I do not fall I run as far as I can with whatever is left #but there isn’t much progress there never is #an inch or so is made as my key stops and my legs do as well not tired but unable to move until wound again #and they do and the cycle repeats and by the time I run #a plastic wobble all the way there I can only ask if it was worth it #if letting them play with me like I was the game was worth seeing the screen of my pip boy again #helping Boone settle his loathing and Arcade come to terms #Cass look to the future and Veronica to make her own #Raul find new purpose and Lily to make up her mind or keep it #to save Rex and Ede to improve the Mojave #and I say yes it is #and then I am picked up and carried back for it will begin again #if you can’t tell my game keeps crashing for some reason today and I can’t figure out why with every mod and guide known to man #and it’s making me deranged cause it’s all I wanted to do toady and night #fallout #fallout new vegas

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blunderpuff · 10 months

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my mom hates the house, hates the neighborhood (can't walk to anything/have to get in the car for everything), can't find stuff she packed, doesn't have good places to put her stuff, her big desk doesn't fit in the "office alcove", the cat is days away from being put down and so he's clingy and sad...

MA'AM. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS DESPERATE TO MOVE. BUYING THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS SINCE JULY OF THIS YEAR. "MOVING" AS A CONCEPT HAS BEEN THE SUBTITLE OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS. YOU DO NOT GET TO BE A PISSY TODDLER NOW. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR DOING.

#the secret world of merry mac #and she keeps yelling at Arthur to leave her alone but he's fucking dying. he barely eats and he's cold and has balance issues #the poor cat is existing in his final week on this planet and she's just mad at him and taking it out on him #i have basically no furniture (none of it matched and so i didn't mind giving it away/selling it)#so that means my things are all shoved into precariously stacked boxes and i'm sleeping on an army cot #i'm depressed too!! i left a decent paying job doing something i really liked! i would have been fine moving to a different house in town!!#she wanted (1) trader joe's (2) kaiser permanente and (3) her own swimming pool #she got (1) trader joe's 2 freeways/30m drive away (2) no kaiser and (3) no pool #this is how we always move; my mom gets the itch and then we leave. it's not that she wants to move TO somwhere-- it's just AWAY from here #(wherever 'here' is)#so i spent my entire last paycheck on furniture that won't even be here for a week or more #i also hate the (brand new) fridge that came with the house. it's a side-by-side and it's simultaneously stupidly spacious #but also the space is used in such a stupid way that you can't even lay a frozen pizza flat on a freezer shelf #she also collects screws/nuts/bolts/nails/washers like a fucking magpie and so no two are the same #and she doesn't use the correct things for the job and she just put two ROOFING NAILS into the wall to hold a magnet board up #she sucks at home repair (made worse by the aforementioned WRONG TOOLS FOR THE JOB) and so everything is done #with extreme frustration and it turns out half-assed and looks bad #she doesn't wait and/or think about where she wants stuff to go so she's just spent the afternoon hanging things up badly #and the house is going to look like it was decorated by some clown who needs to hang every piece of art they own all at once #we have picture rails so we can swap artwork/photos according to mood/season/etc but no... she just puts EVERYTHING out all at once #anyway i'm so sad and tired and frustrated and angry and it feels really unfair to keep my mouth shut when she says 'i wish we never moved!

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piningpebbles · 9 months

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ive got a few posts queued for today but i just wanted to personally say merry christmas!! to all my mutuals out there let it be known i think you're all so cool and hope you're doing well through the holidays (even if you don't celebrate!!) and to my followers thank you for sticking with me through my various other fandoms you did Not come here for it Will Happen Again (and happy holidays too!!)

#rambling rocks #ive got some dsmp ideas in the works but for now the most i can do is this sorta update post while i get everything figured out #(animatics- fic i gotta finish- also thinking of charms/keychains maybe! would anyone be interested in that? ill do a proper poll eventual #also got into rottmnt recently. very good!!! can't draw turtles (yet) but just know i loved it #tapping on the glass sorry i disappeared i fell into the river (school) and had to swim through the rapids (finals) like a salmon (yeah)#oh all the beautiful tumblr posts in my drafts i will put you in my queue soon i promise. ill return #anyway yeah just little updates for those who read the notes cause i love writing in the notes #i love that they're called notes im gonna start keeping my grocery list in here #milk #eggs #laundry detergent #merry christmas!!#and happy happy holidays!!#pebble post

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