#all hail the cracker!

[thevalleyisjolly]

One of my favourite parts about writing ACOC fanfic is the food puns, and perhaps my favourite one that I’ve come up with recently is cracker-jackrabbit.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

LET THEM FEAST

This piece was inspired by this Mickey Mouse cartoon as well as this early episode from Spongebob.

So tell me, do you wanna go?

The cafeteria doors parted, swinging open as any other door would—but to Fellow and Gidel, it was as if the gates to heaven were welcoming them. Humming chatter and the smells of delicious foods churned out from beyond. Deeply inhaling, tasting the aromas in the back of one’s throat, made their bodies light and floaty, as if hunger had made them weightless.

They followed a hoard of uniformed boys with trays, drifting to buffet stations loaded with dishes they could only dream of. Slabs of roast beef dripping with mushroom gravy, racks od lamb, game birds with crisped skin, fish glistening with herb butter, steaming stews with vegetables bobbing in a sea of rich broth, fluffy rice, cakes sliced wide and trifles stacked tall. The paper-thin slice of bread and beans they had for supper had never looked quite so sorry.

Gidel didn’t notice that his mouth was agape and slick with saliva until a cane tucked under his chin and closed it for him. Fellow pulled the young boy close, a hand on his arm as he wildly gestured to the waiting delicacies.

“Take a gander, Giddie! All that food’s free and ours for the taking!!” he chirped. “Ready your fork and knife, we’re going to eat like kings today!”

Arm in arm, the duo dove into the bar, grabbing as much as they reasonably could. Generous scoops of mashed potato, the biggest pieces of meat, plenty of sauce, the largest loaves. Gidel rushed about with an apple crammed into his mouth and Fellow snuck oyster crackers into his breast pocket (as a late-night snack).

While their plates piled higher and higher, the mob students grew more irritable. Elbowing them out of the way, snatching up popular itwms, and taking far more than their share had the tendency to invoke ire. The mobs casted dirty looks at Fellow and Gidel, others raising their voices at the kitchen.

“Oi, where’s the refill of tomato soup? I’ve been waitin’ for forever over here!”

“When’re the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggies gonna be done…”

“I’m so hungry I could eat a whole horse. What’s the damn hold up?!”

“Be patient, boys!” a ghost chef callee back. He grunted as he hailed a vat of curry off of the stove. “It takes time to prepare the food.”

“They’re ravenous today,” remarked the lead chef. “Wonder what’s going on. We normally don’t have to prepare this much.”

By this time, Fellow (trailed by Gidel) had pushed his way to the front of the crowd. He set down his tray (the tower of food upon it wobbling, threatening to collapse) and waved enthusiastically at the chefs.

“Afternoon, gents! How’s it going? Looks to me like you’re hard at work feeding all these wayward souls.”

“Oh, um. Just fine, thank you.” The head chef blinked. He liked to think that he recognized all of the students and staff that came into his dining room, but he was drawing a total blank with Fellow and Gidel. “Er… Sorry, are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you boys before.”

“Fufu, that’s right. We’re new to these parts.”

“They ain’t even students,” an angry mob student behind him piped up.

The lead chef startled. Worry crumpled his round, marshamallowy face. “Oh dear, not students? The buffet is only open to them and staff.” He glanced at Fellow’s pickings. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to return all that.”

Anger and annoyance shot through the fox beastman. Tch…! Those NRC brats, looking down on me! Why should they get to gorge themselves on this stuff while the rest of us beg for their scraps?!

He reached down and gripped Gidel’s hand, giving the young boy a reassuring squeeze. Gidel offered a sleepy grin back.

Watch this. I’ll turn this entire situation around and have them eating out of the palm of my hand.

He let out a theatrical gasp, then summoned his most charming smile. “My bad, I forgot to introduce myself! You see, I am a health inspector sent by the Department of Magic Education to evaluate your menu! Gidel here’s my trusty assistant.”

The leader of the ghost chefs scratched his head. “Huh? Is that what a health inspector does…?”

“Of course, or cooourse! All a part of the job description, my friend.” Fellow indicated his absurd amount of food. “They’re looking to implement new standards for magic school menus—and where better to look at as a model for reference than THE famous Night Raven College? The education it offers is elite, so the meals it offers must be elite as well! That’s why they’ve sent us to try one of everything, to evaluate the quality of your wares.”

Gidel bobbed his head. (He had little clue what he was actually agreeing with, but he agreed nevertheless.)

“Come ON, you don’t seriously buy this crap, do you?” a mob student groaned. “The old fart’s clearly lying!!”

Other voices joined him, but they all fell upon deaf ears. The head chef’s eyes sparkled, his pasty white cheeks rosy with excitement.

“Oooooh, why didn’t you say so sooner?! W-We will absolutely do everything in our power to accommodate your needs, Sir Health Inspector!” He turned to his kitchen staff. “Isn’t this so exciting, everyone? We’ll be the first group of ghosts to receive a fancy accolade after death!”

A murmur of approval weaved through the kitchen. The dining room, however, erupted into a fresh round of protests.

“You’re joking!!”

“That’s such an obvious lie.”

“How can you believe that bullcrap?!”

Keheheh, never underestimate the power of this Fellow Honest-sama’s silver tongue 🎶 I didn’t even need to use my unique magic to cut to the front of the line. Some people are just born suckers and stay suckers in the afterlife.

He smirked, giving a triumphant twirl of his cane. “Sorry, folks! You snooze, you lose. We get first dibs on everything~”

“Hah?! What’d ya just say to me?” A vein bulged on a Savanaclaw student’s forehead. He was about double Fellow’s width and rippling with muscle. “Like hell you are!”

“The way you talk is pissin’ me off!!” chimed in a Diasomnia student. He drew his baton and aimed it at Fellow. “I oughta shut you up for good!”

The idea was a seed, taking root and festering among his peers. Other students were producing their own magical pens, out of pockets and from inside vests.

Fellow paled, balking but keeping himself between the mobs and Gidel. “H-Hey now, can’t we talk this over? Violence doesn’t solve everything, you know!”

“YES IT DOES,” the mobs retorted—in unison for once. Hungry and angry, a terrible combination.

Gidel whimpered. No sound, but Fellow could sense it in the way the boy retreated into his coat. A free hand found its way to the small of Gidel’s back, keeping him upright.

Don’t let them see you like that. Weak, downtrodden. It’s letting them have the moral victory.

His grin widened. He was a fox looking to sink his teeth into unsuspecting prey.

“Why spend your youth grumpy and causing trouble? You should lighten up, live a little, laugh a little. Here, I’ll show you how. Just follow me! Come on to the Theater!! Life is Fun!!”

Fellow spun his cane, releasing a light shower of sparkles upon the crowd. They floated down, popping like popping on their skin. Eyes glazed over, twisted expressions slackened.

“Now then!!” Fellow, raised his cane like a baton, still spinning as he conducted his herd. He, poised as the ringleader. “Right this way, right this way, gentlemen! Let’s have a lively parade to the courtyard on this fine day!”

“The weather is nice today…”

“Coach said I need to get more exercise in.”

“I’ve been stressed about classes, I need to take this break.”

Marching—one, two, one, two—Fellow led the procession out of the cafeteria. He belted out a tune as he ushered students through the exit.

“Hi-diddle-dee-dee, actor's life for me!”

(Gidel pranced in and out of the line of students, reaching into pockets and retrieving miscellaneous items. Pencils, a keychain, spare change. He stashed them under his hat.)

“A high silk hat and a silver cane, a watch of gold with a diamond chain!”

When the last student was gone, Fellow made a U-turn and rushed back into the cafeteria, slamming the doors behind him. He dropped his smile, letting it shatter like a porcelain teacup and not bothering to salvage the remains.

“Sheesh, they’re finally out of my fur!” Fellow sighed deeply. “Those rotten kids really had to make me work hard for my meal...”

Gidel scrambled over to him, pulling out the various items he had clumsily pilfered. Look what I got! he seemed to say.

Fellow brightened, ruffling the child’s messy brown mop. “Atta boy, Giddie! We sure showed those snooty rich kids what for, eh?”

At that moment, the head chef bursted out of the kitchen juggling a tray of apple strudel. He was followed by several other ghosts, each carrying a new dish.

“Sorry for the wait, here’s the… Huh?” The head chef glanced around the nearly empty cafeteria, his brows knitting. “Where did everybody go?”

“Must’ve gone out for a stroll Fine by me, they’re letting us get right down to business,” Fellow laughed, clapping a hand on Gidel’s shoulder. “C’mon, that’s enough excitement for one day. Let’s dig in!”

[bitter69uk]

Released in German cinemas on this day sixty years ago (26 June 1964): Jayne Mansfield’s wildest and weirdest film Dog Eat Dog (1964). Also known as: An Act of Violence and When Strangers Meet. Tagline: “When a love-starved sex kitten teams up with a deadly killer, the action explodes right between your eyes!” This nihilistic Euro-sleaze crime thriller enthralls from its opening seconds. Soundtracked by urgent twist music, glimpses of Hollywood glamour queen Mansfield (clad in a babydoll nightie and ratty bouffant wig) writhing in orgasmic ecstasy in a bed full of money are intercut with sweaty, desperate Cameron Mitchell running for his life through dark streets at night pursued by cigar-chomping, maniacally cackling villain Ivor Salter in his convertible. We swiftly discern that Dolph Kostis (Salter) and Lylle Corbett (Mitchell) are thieves who’ve just committed a $1 million heist. Psychotic Kostis killed another accomplice because he didn’t want to split the proceeds. Trampy Dolores (Mansfield) is his moll. The trio go into hiding from the police – and things swiftly unravel! Watching Dog provokes the question, “What kind of film is this?” Early on we grasp Dog’s unusual priorities when – just as the suspense should be building – it cuts to an interminable Eurovison-style musical number in its entirety.  Closer to a paranoid psychodrama than a straightforward heist movie, Dog keeps detouring into unexpected tangents and the tone grows nuttier – more art-y, psychological and bleak – as it proceeds (all for the better. Apparently, three directors toiled on Dog - trying to salvage it? - which might account for its strange lurches in tone and overall incoherence). Ultimately, Dog belongs to Mansfield, tangibly enjoying herself as an unrepentant bad girl. “I’ve got a pash for the cash!” she admits. It feels inconceivable that Dolores was originally intended for Elke Sommer. (If Mansfield looks particularly radiant and zaftig here, it’s because she was four months pregnant with daughter Mariska during production). Thrill as Mansfield zanily breaks into the twist, exclaims “crackers!” or wails that she needs a new pair of panties! Dog Eat Dog should be hailed as an unsung cult classic! In fact, I demand you watch it on YouTube!

[m3rcuryxd2763]

ALL HAIL PRINCESS CRACKER‼️‼️

[comingfromastatechampionasshole]

Making Yorkshire Parkin: When You Want to Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November (but you forgot)

I bought Lyle’s Golden Syrup on a whim in our international grocers months ago, nestled between the Marmite and jarred clotted cream. I didn’t know what golden syrup tasted like, I had no use for it, and no recipe I had ever read included it. Naturally, I bought it immediately. Walking by the racks of Japanese candy and multiple incidences of ramen noodles, I asked myself, “Is there a particular reason I’m buying this, or am I just pissed they don’t have Walker’s and don’t want to walk away empty-handed?” 

Months later, I end up watching a video on parkin. Uses golden syrup. In this moment, the stars align. 

How did I stumble on this? Well, I’m interested in historical food, and even more so historical baking, and November was coming up. Try the Guy Fawkes day cake, it proclaimed to me, and as I watched it, and it was described to me as an English gingerbread-style cake, i thought, “There’s nothing about that idea I don’t like! I can make parkin, it can’t be that hard. Not like i’m going to be able to buy it here to try it.” 

And hard is not the word for it. Let’s go on a journey. 

So the first thing is, that Yorkshire parkin isn’t the only parkin in town and so, as I glanced at recipes, i discovered that there were multiple theories of the business, and many of these theories involved insulting each others’ grandmothers. Lancashire parkin uses mainly golden syrup, resulting in a sweeter and softer-flavored cake, and I guess that’s why the only things a civilized human being knows about Lancashire is that it’s in the North of England, and it features in the Merrily Song from the Wind and the Willows. No, the more I read, the more I realized I wanted Yorkshire parkin, a dark, aggressive form of the cake that makes heavy use of black treacle and threatens to kick your teeth in. It’s no wonder that Yorkshire gets all the great wonders of the North, like Wuthering Heights, The Secret Garden, and that one pizza place I really liked. 

It turns out that Yorkshire parkin uses a very small amont of golden syrup, and so you may be saying to yourself at this point, “Doc are you unnecessarily complicating your life to say you literally opened this stupid plastic bottle of sugar syrup?” to which I say, ‘No one asked you, okay?” 

Black treacle is the first thing on this list, and this was actually the easy part. One of the ‘fun’ things about reading recipes from English to English (and sometimes even to English!) is that you have to make substitutions, and people’s attitude toward substitutions for ingredients run the gamut from questionable to hysteria. The good news is that this unites us all, and I am sure there will be several fine Brits yelling at me that unsulfured molasses is nothing like black treacle, in the same way that many Americans lost their mind at the mere suggestion that a digestive might be more or less equivalent to a graham cracker. I welcome your hatemail, Hail Satan , Lord of Spiders, just use unsulfured molasses and you’ll be fine. 

But then we have the problem of “medium oatmeal.” The Brits are running on a completely different system than we are with our paltry three or so styles of oatmeal: Rolled, steel cut (often called Irish oats), and instant. There are some outliers, but they are mostly the exclusive purview of places where one might buy free-range ostrich farts and consensually squeezed oranges. Meanwhile, on a rainy rock in the North, we have seventeen separate grades of oatmeal, some of which are only found on one specific moor where young maidens cry over it, keening into the wind (An expensive delicacy not unlike kopi luwak) Try as I might, I found it near impossible to get medium oatmeal, and so I took the most reasonable out possible: Buying steel cut oats and frantically googling photos of medium oatmeal until I had processed it down to the rough appearance. 

This is medium oatmeal. Probably. 

The assembly of it is stunningly old-fashioned, and I’m not making a joke when I say it seems basically unchanged from the 1700s: You mix the sugar and butter ingredients together in a sauce pan until the sugar melts, and then throw it into the dry mix, putting it together and then throwing in an egg as some desperate attempt to give so loft to what is going to be a doorstop or perhaps the blunt object that was originally used to kill Guy Fawkes, as well as a splash of milk, though what it hopes to contribute to the action I can’t possibly imagine. 

Having read over all this at 9:30 pm on the 5th of November, I ready myrself to assemble the parkin so I can leave it out for King James or whatever. Then I read the cook time on the cake: Seventy to Ninety Minutes. 

“Fuck this shit, I’m American,” I said, cracking open a beer and heading upstairs with my sixteen guns while eagles cried and sang “God Bless The USA” overhead. 

REMEMBER, REMEMBER, THE SIXTH OF NOVEMBER, WHEN ALL THESE INGREDIENTS ARE STILL SITTING IN MY KITCHEN. 

So, I have followed the recipe. The cake is in the oven. What will it become? Stay tuned!

[qwerty-between-the-lines]

Announcer: ...and our four contestants are ready. They will have 1 hour to put together their dishes. Before we get started, let's go to the floor and put our contestants in the hotseat.

Interviewer: First up, hailing from the US's very own NYC. Perseus ssss Jackson! How are you feeling, Percy?

Percy: I'm doing alright, thanks.

Interviewer: What do you have planned for the judges today?

Percy: I'm doing seafood.

Announcer: Seafood. No surprises from the son of Poseidon. Let's go now to Leo Valdez.

Interviewer: Hailing from the southern metropolis of Houston, Texas. It's the senior counselor of the Hephaestus cabin at Camp Half-Blood. Give it up for Leo Valdez!

Leo: WASSUP everybody!?

Interviewer: You seem excited.

Leo: Nah, that's just how I roll. I'd like to take a moment to say - let's everybody do the Team Leo!

Interviewer: What you have planned for us Leo?

Leo: Hispanic food! I do it best...

Interviewer: Confident, ain't he?

Announcer: That's Leo Valdez, folks. Now we go to our third contestant.

Interviewer: Let's all put our hands together for Athena's own daughter, Annabeth Chase. How're you feeling Annabeth?

Annabeth: I'm feeling great.

Interviewer: Psyched to win it?

Annabeth: You know it!

Interviewer: What are you cooking up for us today?

Annabeth: I'm doing desserts.

Announcer: Desserts! A bold choice from the daughter of Athena. Time will tell if Annabeth's desserts blow the judges away and send her home with the grand prize. Now let's go to our last contestant.

Interviewer: Our last contestant is His Grace, the Ambassador of Hades. The Ghost King himself. Nico di Angelo! How are you doing Nico?

Nico: Okay, I guess...

Interviewer: What are you cooking up for us?

Nico: I'm doing dishes with black ingredients.

Announcer: Another bold choice from this son of Hades. I think it is safe to say that our judges can look forward to a diverse spread of food at the end of the night. Now, let's get it started. One hour on the clock! Contestants... GO!

Percy

-starts placing large lettuce leaves on plates

-chops up onions

-dices potatoes

-cuts deboned fish into thin slices

-squeezes mayo into a bowl

-finely chops up two whole dill pickles

-measures out 1/4 cup of lemon juice

Announcer: I think it seems obvious that the son of Poseidon is preparing some kind of fish dish and tartar sauce, but what are the diced potatoes and onions for? It's anyone's guess, folks.

Leo

-chops up two tomatoes and two bell peppers

-opens two cans of refried beans

-starts rolling out corn flour flat

-starts ground pork to frying on low heat

-makes a four-cheese blend

Announcer: Leo appears to have two dishes underway already. One is probably tacos, but the corn flour is an interesting choice. What's he doing now?

Interviewer: Can you tell us what you're planning with the corn flour?

Leo: Sure. I'm making pupusas.

Announcer: ...and it is! Pupusas! A rather unexpected pleasure for our judges.

Annabeth

-whips up chocolate pudding mix

-crushes up graham crackers

-starts whipping cream

-breaks 3 eggs into a bowl

-starts adding two tablespoons of peanut butter,

Announcer: It looks like the daughter of Athena might be making peanut butter cookies. Clearly the pudding and the graham crackers are intended for something else. What could the whipped cream be for?

Nico

-stirs together blackberries, amaretto, and corn starch in a bowl

-sets premade pie crust on the counter

-starts black beans on low in a food processer

-starts melting cheese

-slices up two egg plants

-pours rice into rice cooker

Announcer: The son of Hades is fast on his feet. Watch him go folks! He already has what appears to be at least three dishes in the works. It's a little early to call, but the competition starts with Nico clearly in the lead.

(in audience) Will: Go Nico! Yeah!

[bethanythebogwitch]

Original aquatic Digimon

I've been making fakemon (Pokemon oc) for a bit including my own very bad drawings, so why not do Digimon too. I have several Digimon OCs in mind so I tried drawing one evolution line. Since I'm a big marine biology fan, I went with the aquatic line first. All of them are Data-attribute.

Starting at the Child/Rookie level is Yadokarimon. Yadokari is Japanese for hermit crab and that's exactly what Yadokarimon is. Its pincers are powerful, but its exoskeleton is weak, leaving it defenseless. To survive, it stole the shell of a ShellNumemon and uses it as armor. The shell slows it down, but it can roll around at high speeds for short periods of time. Yadokarimon lives in the intertidal zone of the Net Ocean and is comfortable on land or in water. Its attacks are Shell Roller, where it retracts into its shell and rolls into the enemy and Little Pincer, where it attacks with its claws.

Yadokarimon evolves to CannonCrabmon. This is the only name of the group I'm not super fond of, so let me know if you have a better idea. CannonCrabmon is a mercenary that works for any force in the Net Ocean that will pay it. It wears the shell of a Shellmon that it defeated in battle. One of its claws was lost in battle, but it attached a cannon salvaged from a sunken ship to the stump. With one powerful claw and one cannon, CannonCrabmon can fight at both short and long range and its shell gives it great defenses, making it a powerful underwater combatant. The only downside is that the shell is so heavy it cannon swim. Its attacks are Crustacean Cannon, where it fires cannonball at the foe and Crushing Claw, where it attacks with its claw.

CannonCrabmon evolves to Frigatemon. It grew so large that it had to steal a Hookmon's ship to use as a shell. Thanks to the ship, it can now sail both above and below the waves, in contrast to its previous forms who couldn't swim. The ship is bristling with powerful cannons and its claws can crush diamonds, making Frigatemon a feared fighter whose only weakness is attacks from above. Frigatemon acts as a pirate and mercenary and its ship proudly waves the Jolly Roger. Its attacks are Full Broadside, where it produces cannons from the ship and fires them at its enemies and Ocean Crusher, where it grabs its enemy with its claws and crushes them. In the picture the mast couldn't fit in frame so I had to split it off, but the two parts pictured are supposed to be connected.

The final form of Yadokarimon is Dreadnoughtmon. Its ship shell has been upgraded into a powerful battleship to make it the ultimate naval combatant. With a combination of powerful cannons, anti-air guns, torpedoes, depth charges, and claws that can crack Chrome Digizoid, Dreadnoughtmon can attack foes at any angle in a hail of military-grade firepower. The hull of its shell is as hard as Chrome Digizoid, making it impervious to normal attacks. An arrogant pirate sure of its power, the only being Frigatemon respects is Neptunemon and Leviamon is the only thing it fears. Its attacks are Naval Destroyer, where it fires off the weapons on its shell ship in a barrage of destruction and Hull Cracker, where it crushes its foes to death with its mighty claws.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed my OC Digimon. I have more ideas in mind to draw sometime.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Dumpling Day

Celebrate the joy and deliciousness of everything related to these tasty little balls of dough with National Dumpling Day!

History of National Dumpling Day

When people think of dumplings, their minds may conjure up a variety of images depending on where they hail from. Chinese filled dumplings such as dim sum or bao (which are steamed instead of boiled) might be what comes to mind. Other people might think of dumplings that are in soup, while still others might have their mouths watering of Czech dumplings that seem more like a slice of bread than a dumpling.

The origination of dumplings in China was probably by a medical practitioner during the Eastern Han Dynasty which lasted from around 200 BC to 200 AD. Not long after, the first written recipe for dumplings seems to have appeared in Roman culture in a cookery manuscript referred to as Apicus that is believed to have been written around 400 AD.

Made out of dough that is some sort of starch base, like wheat flour or potato starch, dumplings often act as a blank slate upon which other flavorful meals and tastes can be built.

How to Celebrate National Dumpling Day

Consider some of these ideas for getting involved with National Dumpling Day:

Enjoy Eating Dumplings

Head out to a restaurant and order a big pile of dumplings in honor of National Dumpling Day! The best bet for finding dumplings on the menu might be to choose a restaurant that offers Chinese cuisine. But they can also be found at American restaurants that serve southern-style home cooking, like Cracker Barrel.

Grab some friends to take along and order a variety of different types and styles of dumplings to compare and determine which ones are the best!

Try Making Dumplings at Home

Part of the fun of National Dumpling Day might be engaging in the process of making them. First, choose the style of dumplings to make and then search for a recipe. The easiest dumplings to make are probably the kind that are dropped directly into soup, but other options that include rolling, wrapping and stuffing might be an extra fun challenge.

Learn Some Fun Facts About Dumplings

Don’t forget to tell friends about National Dumpling Day! Perhaps it would be fun to work it into conversation with some of these clever bits of trivia about dumplings:

More than 25 styles of dumplings exist. While many people think of Asian dumplings, most cultures in the world have some version of this, including Indian, Italian, Korean and more.

Dumplings can be savory or sweet. While many people think of dumplings as a main dish, they can also be filled with delicious sweet flavors like grated coconut, cane sugar and even chocolate.

Chinese legends say that dumplings were originally formed in the shape of little ears by a doctor who created them for people to eat to prevent getting frostbite on their ears.

Dumplings can be prepared in many ways: frying, boiling, steaming, baking and simmering are all methods used for making them.

Source

[torreshalstead]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea - Chapter 14

Summary - Hailey’s US visa was due to expire, which normally wouldn’t be an issue as the CPD would get it renewed but due to a backlog of paperwork, this wasn’t possible. This meant Hailey was faced with the real possibility of having to leave the country, her job and everything she held dear. That was until Jay offered up a solution which would allow her to stay in Chicago, in Intelligence, with him - they could get married. Getting married was a good idea, right?

Chapters - 14/20

Chapter Title - The Interviews

Notes - this chapter was so much fun to write so I hope you enjoy! Happy Reading ❤️ AO3 Link

They received the letter informing them that their interviews would be that Thursday, giving them only two days to stress about it. Well Hailey was stressing about it, Jay was his usual calm self.

‘Hails, it’ll be fine,’ he said the night before whilst the pair ate dinner. He had made pork chops, mashed potato and veg which Hailey was grateful for. She hadn’t wanted to cook and wasn’t in a position to make a decision regarding a takeaway either so Jay had started to clatter around the kitchen and had taken the decision out of her hands.

‘You keep saying that,’ she said, pushing her peas around the plate absent-mindedly.

‘Because I know it,’ Jay said, reaching across to still the hand that held her fork. ‘We will be fine, our friends will be fine.’

Hailey nodded slightly apprehensively.

‘It’ll all work out, Hails,’ he squeezed her hand lightly. ‘I promise you.’

——————————————————————————-

‘State your name for the record.’

‘Kimberley Burgess,’ Kim said clearly. Although the set up of the room was meant to be intimidating; the plain white walls, the metal table and chairs, the camera and microphone set up to record her words, Kim felt very calm.

She was here to talk about two of her best friends, two of her best friends that had finally stopped dancing around their feelings and had committed themselves to each other and married in such a beautiful ceremony. She had never imagined Hailey would want the big white wedding but she was so pleased she had liked the dress she had got her. She really did look beautiful and Jay had looked overcome looking at her.

‘And you have known Ms Upton and Mr Halstead for how long,’ the Immigration official asked her, pen and paper ready to take notes.

‘I’ve known Jay for 6 years,’ Kim said, remembering when she had first met him the day she had been pulled up from patrol to assist with a case Intelligence was handling. She had found him intimidating to start with, far more so than this interview room, but soon she had realised he was actually a very funny guy and someone you always wanted on your side. He kept his heart shielded, clearly having been burnt more than once, but as soon as Hailey had come along and began to chip away at that, he had started to open up more. ‘And I’ve known Hailey since she started with us in Intelligence about three years ago.’

Her memories of Hailey were just as clear but when the blonde haired cop had walked into the bullpen she had felt nothing but admiration for her. She’d heard all about how they were getting a detective from Toronto joining them, that she was incredibly talented and had taken down many high category targets so Kim had expected someone much older. More fool her. She had been pleasantly surprised and incredibly grateful to have someone else to tone down the testosterone in the group. It hadn’t taken long until they had become fast friends.

‘And you socialise with Ms Upton and Mr Halstead outside of your working environment?’

Kim imagined this officer was a hoot to have at parties, all her questions were drier than a cracker and she hadn’t even hinted at a smile once.

‘I do,’ Kim said with a warm smile which she noted was not returned. ‘We are a close knit unit and Hailey and I are the only women so we get on very well. It’s a tough job so it’s good to be able to relax at the end of the day.’

‘Mhmm,’ the officer acknowledged her words as she made some notes on the notepad. ‘And you found out they were getting married when?’

‘They text the group chat to let us know Jay had popped the question and we were all invited to the wedding,’ Kim responded.

‘And a text wasn’t an odd way of announcing the wedding?’ The officer questioned.

‘Not for Hailey and Jay,’ Kim scoffed. ‘They’ve never been one for big announcements or fan fare, they like to keep themselves to themselves.’

Kim had actually been shocked they had told them at all, had half expected them just to show up to the district one day with rings on their fingers. ‘They were never going to be people who had the wedding with all the bells and whistles but it was perfectly them. They wrote the most beautiful vows and had everyone close to them in attendance and it was truly lovely,’ Kim said honestly with a smile.

‘Everyone close to them,’ the officer repeated, ‘but no one from Ms Upton’s family was present, do you know why?’

Kim felt her skin prickle, the officer was clearly digging for something but she wasn’t here to discuss Hailey’s relationship with her family, and even if she was she didn’t know the entire story, just what she could read from cases they handled and Hailey’s reaction to them. ‘We are Hailey’s family,’ Kim said with a smile firmly fixed to her face.

——————————————————————————

‘Henry Voight, Sergeant of the Intelligence Unit,’ Hank said gruffly, his arms crossed over his chest in his usual intimating fashion. He detested being this side of the interrogation table. Hailey and Jay were lucky he loved them.

‘And Ms Upton and Mr Halstead are officers in your unit,’ the official sitting on the other side of the table asked, riffling through his notes for a fresh sheet of paper to jot Voight’s answers down.

He wasn’t even prepared, Voight shook his head and huffed. ‘Detective Upton and Detective Halstead are my most highly skilled Detectives in my unit.’ Every time he said the word detective, he made sure to put extra emphasis on it. He wasn’t having someone label his team incorrectly, they had earnt their rank and this pencil pusher should give them the respect they deserve.

‘Yes Detectives,’ the official mumbled, still trying to find the correct piece of paper. Voight smirked to himself as he saw a bead of sweat fall from the bloke's forehead onto the table. He could run circles around this fool if he wanted to. He began to tap his foot against the floor waiting less than patiently for the idiot in front of him to ask him something else.

He gave up waiting.

‘Detective Halstead has been in my unit for 7 years and Detective Upton for 3. They are exceptional cops and exceptional people. If you are looking for dirt on them, you won’t find any as I would have found it first. I trust them with my life, and the city of Chicago is better off having them on the force protecting them.’ Hank watched the officers eyes widen and his mouth almost fall open, clearly he was unused to people not just waiting for questions to be asked. Voight had better places to be than sat in this dingy room. ‘And if there’s nothing left to say then I will leave now,’ he said firmly, pushing himself up from the table and standing.

‘Oh and their wedding was beautiful,’ he grunted as he reached the door, tugging it open and excusing himself from the painfully dull proceedings.

——————————————————————————

‘I think I first met Hailey during a case when she brought someone into Chicago Med,’ Will said, trying to rack his brains to remember the exact moment. It was difficult, since Hailey had become a permanent fixture in his brother's life, she had become one in his too. ‘I probably met her in a non-work setting a couple of months later at Molly’s.’

‘And you were originally introduced to her as…’ the official left the question unfinished but Will understood what she was digging for.

‘I was introduced to her as my brother's partner at work, they were partners first, friends later before they became romantically involved,’ Will said firmly.

‘And you knew they were romantically involved because they told you?’ The digging clearly wasn’t letting up.

‘Officially yes, but my brother is not particularly good at hiding his feelings so I knew how he felt about Hailey probably before he was sure,’ Will chuckled remembering all the times he had given Jay shit for clearly harbouring a crush on his partner. Every time he had brought it up he had been rewarded with the look of death, a murmured shut up and the occasional smack to the arm. ‘But they’ve been through a lot together and when you work in a high risk job like theirs you realise life is short and you’ve got to grab the people you love and hold on tight.’

‘Did you know Mr Halstead was going to propose?’

Will smirked at Jay being called Mr Halstead. That title had always been reserved for their father, Jay was Officer Halstead before he was Detective and Will had been Dr Halstead for years. ‘I don’t even think Jay knew he was going to propose,’ when the officer raised an eyebrow questioningly Will dug his heels in, ‘he’s been in love with Hailey whether he realised it or not for years and once they moved in together I think he realised he never wanted to be parted from her so asked her to marry him. It wasn’t some big thing, he didn’t have thousands of rose petals or her favourite bottle of wine ready, it was just them and their love.’ Will said with a soft smile. ‘He called me afterwards and let me know, said he had spoken to Mom about it and she made him realise that life is short.’

‘But your mother is dead?’ The officer questioned with the same amount of tact as a teaspoon. Will rolled his eyes but answered anyway.

‘Both our parents have passed, yes, but he went to Mom’s grave. He always does a couple of times a year, we both do, to give her updates about our lives, get her advice on things,’ Will shrugged. ‘She’d have loved Hailey. Would have welcomed her into the family with open arms, as did I.’

‘And you didn’t think their relationship moved a bit quickly?’ This was the question that Will had been expecting but luckily he was prepared.

‘Officer Cundy, have you ever seen how someone reacts when the person they love is at death's door?’ Will didn’t wait for a response before continuing on. ‘Because I have. And unfortunately I see it every day. And I’ve seen it with my brother and Hailey, more times than they should have had to go through it. When my brother had been shot and they didn’t know if he was going to make it, Hailey sat in that waiting room for hours, refusing to move, to eat, to do anything until she got word that Jay was going to make it. News like that does something to people, you can physically see the weight of the world lift from their shoulders when they get told it’s going to be okay, like their heart is somehow lighter, that their world that was crashing down around them and is being built up again.’ Will could see in the eyes of the man across the table that he was getting through to him. ‘And when Hailey got kidnapped, and they finally found her and the other cop that had been taken, Officer Burgess, my brother was a shell of a man. My brother who has fought in wars for his country, who would gladly take a bullet to save any person in this city, was shaking like a leaf when he knew Hailey was hurt.’

Will leant back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest, ‘so no Officer Cundy. I don’t think their relationship moved quickly. I think they are two people who love each other deeply and I am glad my brother has found a woman like Hailey who makes him happy and he can reciprocate. I only hope one day I find a love like theirs,’ he finished.

Every word he had said was true, even if his brother and his wife had yet to realise it. Jay and Hailey had asked if he needed to prep in advance of the interview, to make sure the story he was selling didn’t have any holes. Will had declined, for the simple reason that it wasn’t a story, not a fictional one anyway. He had told the less than cheery Officer Cundy exactly what he knew, Jay and Hailey were it for each other. He just hoped they realised it before it was too late.

——————————————————————————

‘Sergeant Trudy Platt,’ Trudy said calmly and clearly when instructed to state her name. This process was tedious but Hailey had asked her to do it and she wasn’t about to let her down.

Ever since Hailey had walked into the district 3 years ago, Trudy had felt a draw to the young cop. She didn’t need Hailey to tell her that she’d had a tough life growing up, that she’d experienced the unfortunate truth of being a female cop in a system set up to prioritise men, she could see it in her eyes, how she held herself and how she handled the cases set before her.

Maybe Trudy saw a little of herself in Hailey, someone determined not to let herself be held back by something that was outside of her control. She was proud to have her as a cop in her district, proud that she could call her a friend. She’d never admit that she thought of her as more of a daughter than a friend however, she had a reputation to uphold after all.

She was glad she had found happiness with Jay, someone to treat her the way she deserved to be treated. She trusted Jay to do that, Trudy knew the type of man he was.

‘And Sergeant Platt you have known Ms Upton and Mr Halstead prior to their marriage, correct?’ The young immigration asked with a forced smile.

A Chicago Police Department integration would eat this kid alive, Trudy thought to herself. She wondered if Voight had had the same officer for his interview, she’d have to ask him later and laugh about it.

‘Yes, I have known them since they were both assigned to my district which was approximately 7 years ago for Detective Halstead and 3 years for Detective Upton,’ Trudy said, a hint of boredom colouring her voice. Why call her in just to confirm information they already hold, just a waste of taxpayers money.

‘And you did not know about their relationship until they invited you to their impromptu wedding?’

‘I got confirmation of their relationship when they submitted their change of address forms after moving in together, they are the same rank so they did not need to complete a notice of relationship form,’ Trudy said slightly coolly. She could tell that the officer was trying to catch her out, that wasn’t going to happen. Nobody caught out Trudy Platt.

‘Confirmation?’ The officer asked, pausing with her pen just millimetres from the paper.

‘I long suspected something was going on between the pair of them but both are incredibly private people and I doubt they wanted people to speculate about the status of their relationship so they kept it to themselves,’ she shrugged. ‘Not uncommon for a workplace romance I am sure you’ll find.’

‘I’m sure,’ the young lady hummed. ‘So you were not shocked when the relationship was confirmed?’

‘No,’ Trudy said firmly. ‘I’ve been a cop for a long time, you learn to see things even when people try to keep them quiet.’

——————————————————————————

‘Do you trust Ms Upton and Mr Halstead?’ The official said bluntly, not looking up from where she was still taking notes.

‘Excuse me?’ Kim asked, shocked.

‘Do you trust Ms Upton and Mr Halstead?’ The official repeated slightly slower, raising her gaze from her notepad to catch Kim’s eyes.

‘Do I trust two people who constantly put their lives on the line to protect their city and myself? Do I trust the person who told me, no, ordered me, to save myself when there was a strong possibility that if I did that, she would die as a result? Do I trust the people who when I decided I was adopting a little girl that other people may have thought was a ridiculous idea, showed up for me and supported me through everything? Are you seriously asking me that question?’ Kim said angrily. How dare this officer ask her this.

‘Yes, I am asking you that. And you still haven’t answered me,’ the officer said, her voice ice cold.

‘Yes I trust Ms Upton and Mr Halstead,’ Kim said and couldn’t hold back the sarcasm when she said their names. She had never once called them that and it sounded mildly ridiculous. ‘I trust them with my life. I trust them with my daughter's life.’

‘That will be all Ms Burgess,’ the officer dismissed her calmly, continuing to make notes as Kim stood up and turned to leave with a huff.

‘And by the way, it’s Detective Upton and Detective Halstead, and I’m Officer Burgess,’ Kim spat back as she reached the door. She knew it might not help Hailey and Jay’s case but she was insulted on their behalf by what the officer was implying here. Hailey and Jay were two of the best people she knew, she was proud to call them friends and wouldn’t stand for slander of them.

——————————————————————————-

‘If Ms Upton was refused her visa,’ Trudy’s ears pricked up at the officer's words, ‘would it be easy to fill the vacancy left by her departure within your district?’

If Trudy had predicted the most ridiculous question she would be asked today, she wouldn’t have guessed this would be it.

‘Would it be easy to fill the position held by one of the most talented members of the Chicago Police Department? The Detective who not only made it up the ranks quicker than most of her male colleagues despite the institutional sexism that unfortunately still exists? The same Detective who received the Superintendent's Award of Valour? An award that is only handed out for an outstanding act of bravery or heroism where the individual has demonstrated great acts of selfishness, personal courage and devotion to duty? Why no, I don’t think it would be particularly easy to fill her spot,’ Trudy scoffed.

‘I think we would struggle to ever fill the void left by Detective Upton,’ Trudy said, suddenly touched by the possibility that Hailey may not be able to stay in the city. ‘And if Ms Upton was refused her visa,’ she said, the bitterness coating her words, ‘the Chicago Police Department would lose two of its finest because there is no way Mr Halstead wouldn’t follow her wherever she would go.’

——————————————————————————

Jay and Hailey’s own interview was less eventful but maybe that was because they were able to present a united front and it probably helped that the person interviewing them appeared to have only started in the department the day before.

The young man had stuttered and stumbled over his words, failed to bring the correct case file into the interview room and constantly forgot Jay and Hailey’s names. Hailey was sure it was because Jay was giving him his best Chicago Police Detective Interrogation face which had been known to get even the most stoic criminals to admit to their crimes.

He had asked them how they had met, when they had moved from a platonic friendship to a romantic relationship, whether they had discussed marriage before Jay had proposed and what their future in the city looked like. None of the questions caught them off guard, they had been prepared to answer anything he could possibly have thrown at them.

Like they had with all aspects of their relationship so far, they had decided the closer to the truth they were able to stick, the better and easier it would be. They didn’t need to amend how they met, partners on the job was clearly written in their files. They didn’t need to change how Jay had proposed, he had offered to marry her whilst sitting on the couch, it was as good a proposal as any. The only sticking point had been when they had moved from the platonic to the romantic. That was a slightly more complex discussion.

‘So they are likely to ask us what made us change from just friends to wanting to pursue something more,’ Hailey had said, nervously tapping her foot. She knew when Jay had stopped becoming just her partner and became the most important person in her life - but she had never admitted it to him. It had shifted when he had got shot, when she had for just a moment had to imagine a life without him and it had broken her.

She remembered clearly sitting in that waiting room feeling like everything she had worked towards, everything she valued in her life was crumbling down around her. That the person she was certain would never leave her side was fighting for his life and she couldn’t do a damn thing to help him.

When he had finally woken up and they had allowed her to see him, part of her wanted to tell him, wanted to explain how she felt because there might have been just the slimmest chance that he felt the same. But she was a coward and didn’t. She pushed her feelings down and was content to just be his friend and his partner.

‘Guess that’s the one thing we haven’t really discussed yet,’ Jay said, tugging at his collar that suddenly felt a little tight against his throat. The rest of their conversation had been easy, all the points had been obvious like when they met, when they got engaged, when they got married. They had evidence for all of that. But this….

Jay knew when he had realised he cared more about her than as just a friend. When they had lost her and Kim, and he had blamed himself for putting them in danger. When they found her and she was bloodied and beaten, it had felt like someone had his heart in a vice squeezing tighter and tighter with every breath. But he had never admitted it to Hailey.

He had thought it was ridiculous she would ever feel the same, he was just a best friend to her. And he was happy to be such, he would prefer to have her in his life as that then put it all on the line and lose her.

But now, he was no longer as certain that he would lose her if he admitted how he felt. There were moments here and there where they both seemed to forget the relationship was just for show. Moments when they were alone with no one to prove anything to where they would reach for each other, touching more than they ever had. They would fall onto the couch at the end of the day but instead of watching TV from opposite sides, they’d end up under a shared blanket tucked into each other’s sides.

If their relationship was just for show, who were they on show for in the privacy of their own apartment?

Hailey cleared her throat and pulled Jay from his thoughts. ‘It would make sense if maybe something on the job had made us realise that we wanted more,’ she said quietly. Was that a hint of pink on her cheeks?

‘Yeah,’ Jay nodded, his throat suddenly dry. ‘Like maybe when you got kidnapped with Kim?’ He offered, trying to stay calm and put together like he wasn’t inches away from admitting what was in his heart.

‘That or maybe when you got shot?’ She countered, her eyes staying fixed on the ground.

‘That could work,’ he agreed. He had heard from Will that Hailey had all but held a vigil for him in the Med waiting room, but she did that because they were partners. Didn’t she?

‘It was just over 18 months ago so I guess that fits the time frame you gave Mouse right?’

‘Yeah that fits,’ Jay agreed. ‘Okay so after I got shot we realised we wanted more than just friendship and the other felt the same?’

‘Yep, we both felt the same,’ Hailey said, finally lifting her gaze and meeting his for the first time in a few minutes and he was once again struck by just how blue her eyes were. Like he could ever forget - they floated through his dreams on a regular basis.

Once they had ironed that out, nothing could throw them off. They answered every question honestly, holding firmly onto each other’s hands the entire time. Jay’s thumb rubbing small circles on the back of her hand in a calming motion.

When they exited the room, both let out a small sigh of relief. They walked to the truck that was parked just a block away, neither having the incling to let go of the other's hand.

All they could do now was wait for the result and hope they had put on enough of a show to get her visa granted. Her hand tightened around Jay’s. She really hoped they had, she couldn’t leave. Not now.

[discourse-slenderman]

All hail the crow god..

[Hands over 55 boxes of goldfish crackers bags]

Again with the “crow god” stu—

GOLDFISHGOLDFISHGOLDFISH

[krafterwrites]

Krafter Lore Masterpost

This is mostly just for people in the Eternal Afterparty server, but if anyone ever asks what's wrong with me, I can send them this post as an explanation. Here's, in roughly chronological order, a bunch of my lore

Part of my right ribs is just caved in for some reason. I have no clue why

When I was little I accidentally swished with water from a cup that had previously been used to hold water from our septic system (THE CUP WAS EMPTY AND DRY WHEN I FOUND IT AND THE WATER I SWISHED WITH WAS FROM THE TAP, I guess it just hadn't been cleaned because it was a plastic lego star wars cup). After my dad told me this, I freaked out because I thought I was going to get very sick/die. I vividly remember eating milk and graham crackers while very upset that night

One time I was watching All Hail King Julien while nauseous, and when Mort threw up in the show, it caused me to also throw up

I went to a trampoline park for some kid's birthday party, and they were putting this gas into the air to keep the park clean. It smelled bad, and it made me dehydrated. I also couldn't find the ingredients of it, so that was concerning

I dreamt I was in a McDonalds and slowly going further and further into the future of the McDonalds, eventually the McDonalds was in a creepy and evil forest and all the food sucked

I dreamt that I found Spamton and kept him as a pet, hiding him under my bed and giving him a laptop to scam people with

I dreamt that I went up and talked to some guy, and upon talking to him, the world around me faded and he said something about reality. Then I walked into a school gynasium and did some weird dark magic, which consumed and killed 8 people as part of a sacrifice. The dark magic that ate(?) them formed a big pillar, and then the pillar opened up, and the fucking Among Us imposter walked out of it. I killed 8 people in a sacrifice ritual so I could become an Among Us Imposter (Also Lulu thought I was hallucinating this because I think I forgot to mention it was a dream)

The Haunted Ring. I've already talked about this one so much, ask one of my friends about it

I dreamt that a tiny version of Scourge (Like about as high as my ankle) showed up in my room and started running around, so I trapped him under a cup and then released him outside

I went to a mini-golf course and had a pretty horrible time for several reasons. 1, it was like a hundred degrees out and there was no shade, so I was melting in the sun. 2, after finishing the golf and probably almost getting heatstroke, I got my mom to buy me so lemonade. I drank half the bottle, but it tasted funny, and then I realized that it had been expired for 3 years. I got bored, so I went over to some guy sitting on a bench to give him advice about the expired lemonade, but I stopped myself right after I began talking because I realized the guy was THE OWNER OF THE GOLF COURSE, WHO I HAD JUST BOUGHT SAID LEMONADE FROM LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO. I ran back into the golf course and hid on it because I was so embarrassed, even though I had stopped myself in time

Some anon last year kept asking me why Tails was full of love, like 4 times. They stopped sending in the asks after I said "Because he has love stored in his tails"

I got an anon saying "Krafture the flag" who I talked to for some time, and eventually found out who it was (It was Mikey and one of his friends)

I watched the entirety of Death Note in one day, I started watching it at about midnight while playing Minecraft, and kept going until I reached the end of the first half (Where L died) because I felt like I was going to die. After waking up at 2 PM, I ate some delicious fast food chicken and watched the second half. It turns out that I missed two entire episodes, though, which I watched several days later

I think that's all of the major ones, I am very tired right now though so I almost definitely forgot a few. Oh well

[bonfire-at-the-crossroads]

Storm Isha.

You’d think somebody would have said something. “Hey. HUGE horrible gale coming your way tomorrow- better make sure you’ve got wood, coal, candles, and groceries.”

Nah.

Met Eiran declared one of their very rare “red warnings” for the northwest coast - 160 MPH winds, possible tornadoes, hail and sleet, flooding - ALL the horsemen of the apocalypse.

Power went out about 5:00, last night,, and stayed out until 6:00 tonight.

I’ve lost the easy ability to embrace my inner-amish. I’m used to hot food, hot water, a warm house, and lightbulbs that shred the dark .I’m not happy staring at nothing, waiting for my WIFI to come back….

A cold night was followed by a fucked-up day of trying to find a few groceries while dodging fallen trees and heavy wind. The supermarket was closed, and the gas station was packed with folks buying Taytos, plastic-wrapped sandwiches, and Lucazaid. Not an egg to be seen, and not so much as a whiff of a vegetable or fruit.

On to Garrsion - friendly, familiar, foreign and near. They had a few packages of soup, a little dumb cheese, and crackers.

Dinner, sorted.

The power came on, and the world is full of rainbows and kittens once more.

[byneddiedingo]

Jules Dassin in Rififi (Jules Dassin, 1955)

Cast: Jean Servais, Carl Möhner, Robert Manuel, Jules Dassin, Janine Darcey, Pierre Grasset, Robert Hossein, Magali Noël, Marcel Lupovici, Marie Sabouret, Dominque Maurin. Screenplay: Jules Dassin, René Wheeler, Auguste Le Breton, based on a novel by Le Breton. Cinematography: Philippe Agostini. Production design: Alexandre Trauner. Film editing: Roger Dwyre. Music: Georges Auric. 

The success of Rififi had a lasting effect on the "caper" or "heist" genre, which is still with us in one form or another, including the Mission: Impossible movies. Dassin's 30-minute sequence depicting the break-in and safe-cracking was hailed as a tour de force. I can't help wondering if Robert Bresson saw Rififi before he made his great 1956 film A Man Escaped, which takes a similar wordless and music-free approach to showing the preparations for Fontaine's prison break. Other than that, of course, nothing could be further from Fontaine's noble efforts to find freedom than the larcenous thuggery of Dassin's jewel thieves. Dassin knows, of course, that audiences respond positively to cleverness and skill, which is virtually all that his quartet of thieves have going for them. Tony (Jean Servais) is a brutal ex-con who beats his former mistress (Marie Sabouret) with a belt; Jo (Carl Möhner) is a swaggering, handsome guy for whom Tony took the rap for an earlier heist because Jo has a wife and child; Mario (Robert Manuel) is an easy-going ne'er-do-well; and César (Dassin under the pseudonym Perlo Vita) is a professional safe-cracker. Dassin manipulates us into thinking of these guys as heroes, if only because the gang led by Pierre Grutter (Marcel Lupovici), who wants to muscle in on their ill-gotten gains, is even worse. In the end, both sides are wiped out, but not before Jo's little boy (Dominique Maurin) is kidnapped and held for ransom. The final sequence of the film is particularly harrowing, especially to contemporary viewers used to mandated seatbelts and conscientious childproofing: A dying Tony drives the 5-year-old boy across Paris in an open convertible as the delighted kid stands on and even clambers over the seats of the speeding car. For all its unpleasantness, Rififi is as memorable as it was influential. It led to countless imitations, usually more light-hearted, including Dassin's own Topkapi (1964). It also revived Dassin's career, which had been at a standstill after he was blacklisted in Hollywood; Rififi's international success was a defiant nose-thumbing directed at HUAC's witch hunts.

[mogwai-movie-house]

While I'm at it, have any movie recommendations for someone who is a fan of The Marx Brothers and loves when actors can play off each other perfectly?

Again, there's really no comparison to anyone else: them being family means they feel like an organic whole whenever you see them together in Animal Crackers, Horse Feathers, or Duck Soup. It's like when you get a family of singers all harmonizing together: there's a closeness in sound you're a lot less likely to get with individuals.

Having said that, if we're talking about anarchic chaos and verbal interplay, which would be the main attractions of Marxian movies (if we accept no-one's going to reproduce what Harpo added), I guess I would suggest His Girl Friday (1940), Arsenic & Old Lace (1944), The Cat & The Canary (1939), The Ladykillers (1955), Monty Python and The Holy Grail (1975) and The Life Of Brian (1979), Hail The Conquering Hero (1944), Love & Death (1975), Annie Hall (1977), Stir Crazy (1980), Ghostbusters (1984), Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) and The Life Aquatic (2004). But it's very likely you'll know most of these already.

[constellationdewdrops]

will wood fans really saw some random (what I believe to be) white man say he didn't like a show and everyone said "all hail the cracker"

ngl i cant say you're wrong

[mmriesoftvat]

Work, whether vigilante or customer oriented, required observational skills. As always, he's posted at the bar, running a rag around the rim of one of many dirty glasses, but his eyes remain locked on the scene around him. No stumbling, no rowdiness, no lightweights in over their heads looking one more sip away from needing a bucket... but, it isn't just the ones who show out that he must see to the well being of. There are those who are silent, too, who do not make a spectacle of themselves and those around them. The wandering gentleman who hailed from an entirely different region, now barely remaining upright, was a prime example of the clientele Diluc did not mind, yet still worried about.

He tells the other bartender to watch the counter whilst he tends to their inebriated guest. A gentle hand 'pon his shoulder, not wanting to risk startling him, and when there's little reaction to the owner's presence, or the inquiry as to the swordsman's current state, Diluc takes it upon himself to scoop the younger man into his arms, with the intent to carry him upstairs, for now. Away from the wavering, unpredictable volume of the crowd, away from nosy glances and those who may otherwise disturb.

"I'm going to set you down." Even if Kazuha can't hear him, he says it anyway. Cover all bases, leave no questions asked. There's a small, albeit comfy and homey cot in the corner for situations just like this, the window nearest it propped open for some fresh air. Kazuha is settled atop it, the pillows adjusted in a fashion that may help to support him, before Diluc goes off to fetch some water and a plate of easy to stomach crackers. When the bar closed down for the evening, he would see to it that Kazuha had overnight accommodations at the nearby inn, but for now... Diluc hopes this is enough.

"If you can hear me, I will be just downstairs, as will Charles. Just holler for one of us. I'll check on you again shortly." One last look, before that he's of blazing locks descends down the stairs again, and back into the rowdy fray. // Diluc @ Kazuha. I couldn't resist~

Kazuha is so tired. He doesn't know why, but perhaps the energy of the tavern here had drained him more than he'd anticipated. Even settling into a corner toward the back hadn't helped. There are still people around, far too many voices for his liking, but the thought of getting up to leave feels like a momentous task all on its own. No drinks save for water, but Kazuha's drifting off anyway.

There sounds like a lull in the conversations around him, or maybe that's his own brain shutting off, Kazuha can't tell. He's completely deflated, and even in his current state, aware he's dangerously close to falling over and landing heavily on the floor. Though the floor is never a bad place to sleep half the time. He's done it before, he can do it again.

Except, nope. There's someone talking to him. The voice sounds vaguely familiar, and Kazuha only manages a tired groan before arms lift him. Presumably said arms belong to the voice, but it's all too far away for Kazuha to actually care right now. There's almost a grouchy wrinkle of his nose before he's settled into someone's arms, head falling back.

The rocking motion has him briefly drifting off completely, with Kazuha letting out the faintest snore. He's woke again when set down in a cot, and only now does Kazuha manage to crack an eye open to catch a glimpse of the person who'd rescued him from the crowds. All Kazuha can see is vivid red hair that's retreating.

"Thank you," he manages to whisper. He's not sure if his thanks is heard or not, but it doesn't matter. Kazuha's well away from the din now, with voices actually fading into the background. It's not completely silent, but at least the chatter is white noise -- he's dealt with that on the Alcor before, he can handle it here.

Rolling onto his side, Kazuha lets himself fall asleep for real, making a mental to thank the tavern owner later. For all the gruff attitude the man puts off, he certainly is caring when he needs to be, even for an out-of-town stranger.