#all because they're just making up reasons to not pay for my meds

[sublux]

oh insurance nonsense update if you've been following along

[niadotcom]

.

[redgoldblue]

so assuming Avery is actually pregnant / doesn't early-trimester miscarry (which is not a given), there's two reasonable ways this can go, right. number one is she gets an abortion, the plotline is used to pull them all back together again, and they all have some collective hurt/comfort about it. number two, the one i would write - don't get me wrong, i'm all for women getting career-driven abortions, but hear me out - is the one where she does have the baby. under the cut bc it got long.

she goes to med school at first while pregnant - Max is right, it can be done, people in my cohort did it - and either gets lucky with the timing of the actual birth being during holidays, or just works her way to getting time off for a few weeks around it. And then... there's a baby. And you know what else there is? There's two dads (because we're 100% Mamma Mia-ing this bitch. they never find out who the bio dad is and they never seriously try. Baby comes out with Avery's exact skin tone so that's no clue.), and an entire cruise ship worth of backup babysitters. So Avery goes back to med school, and leaves the baby with Tristan and Max.

And, yes, raising a baby while also running an infirmary with a rotating cast of temporary substitute nurses filling Avery's role isn't the easiest thing they've ever done, but Robert loves fulfilling grandparent duties any time he's not on duty; Rosie gets one of those strap-on baby carriers and walks her (i don't know why i've decided the baby is a her but i have now) around the engine room pointing out parts and explaining concepts and hey, the baby never complains about her Michigan stories; Corey gets a cart and a bundle of clean sheets and pushes her down the corridors until the smell of laundry powder automatically makes her start laughing.

Max and Tristan make a pact to send Avery at least two photos a day - which ends up getting supplemented by everyone else who's with Baby - and FaceTime her most days, and whenever she gets a few days off she meets them in port. (The most expensive part of baby-raising ends up being her flights to wherever the Odyssey happens to be at the time, at least until Robert finds out and figures out a way to start paying her 'maternity leave', despite her insistence that the whole point of this is that she isn't maternity-leaving and he should probably be paying himself that and anyway, isn't she technically not an employee right now?)

And the thing is, during this time, Max and Tristan start... realising some things. Like how neither of them feel like they've lost their only partner, because they.. haven't. Like how the co-parenting's been working out better than either of them expected, because they fell instantly (minus a few minor bumps) into a shared rhythm. Like how sometimes they look at the other one holding Baby and feel like their heart's about to explode.

Also, they've both started sleeping in Max's bed. Because Baby's spent so much time sleeping in the corner of the infirmary that now if she wakes up at night and can't see both of them, she starts crying inconsolably. And obviously Max's suite is more suited to multiple inhabitants, and they're usually too damn exhausted to even remember the first time they were in this bed together.

(usually. most of the time. and when they're not, they don't make it the other's problem)

So at the end of the first year of this, the last two days of the year's last cruise have been packed with crisis after crisis after demanding patient after crisis, and as soon as they finally wave the last passenger off they hand Baby gratefully over to Robert and go crash out in Max's bed.

Avery was supposed to be meeting them on board tomorrow, but her last exam gets unexpectedly moved up by a day (believe me, med school loves to pull that kind of shit on you), so a couple hours after the passengers have gone, she shows up to surprise them. And finds Robert (a known ody3 shipper) first, who lets her take Baby with minimal captainly sulking about it, and while she rocks and kisses Baby, tells her (as a known ody3 shipper) that the two dads will be on the Pelican deck, but they're probably asleep.

Avery kinda frowns at him, but doesn't question it, and takes Baby up with her to Max's suite to find them. And they are both fast asleep, on either side of Max's bed with a space carefully preserved between them (because it's usually where Baby would be and they're both terrified of accidentally rolling onto her in the middle of the night). She's also exhausted after exams, so she crawls into it, lies on her back with Baby on top of her chest, and goes straight to sleep.

Tristan and Max wake up before her, and when they look across at each other, at Avery and Baby between them, they both simultaneously realise, oh. oh. oh, this - this three, two-and-half, four people, all together - this is it. this is the love, this is the children, this might even be the home - the second, third, fourth bucket list items to happen in this bed.

[chaoticneutralgood2627]

Advice to College Students (From someone who's trying to apply for a master's program)

Note that these are in no particular order and from my own particular experience. I will add if I think of more.

TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY IF YOU FIND IT COOL: your brain will tell you 'I'll remember that fact, it's so neat!' Your brain is a BITCH. You will not remember SHIT. Take ALL the notes. If you can record your classes, even better!

Write down who your professors are for each class. Make a big document. All the years. Write them. Write down their vibes and if you like them. Write down what sort of assignments they gave. Because I'm over here trying desperately to remember which professors I had multiple classes with so I can beg them for recommendations.

Save your assignments. Even if they're horribly cringey. You can use this to gauge how far you've come. I know it hurts your soul. I have fanfic from when I was 12. Do it anyway.

When they tell you the grad school shit, pay attention. Even if you don't plan to go back to school. Because I didn't listen and now I have changed my mind and I have no recollection of that section of school.

Networking. Gather contacts from your classmates. If for no other reason than because you think they're intimidating and you don't want your LinkedIn to look depressing. They're probably just as intimidated by you. And if not, you can pretend they are.

College is not high school. Next to no one has friends at first. Everyone is a disaster. Talk to people. You might not find Your People in your first friend group. That's fine. There are people there somewhere that can make life less awful. The worst they can say is no, you can't be friends with us (and most people aren't that bitchy). The universe is big and no one is judging you harder than you are.

It's not that friends Can't Live Together, it's that people have different organization styles and needs for survival and sometimes those Do Not Mesh. If you're going to live with someone, make sure that you have talked about things.

Everything can go on a resume if you word it right. Editing a friend's paper? Congrats, you have editing and tutoring experience. Playing DND on weekends? Cooperation and teambuilding to work towards a common goal, sometimes in the face of creative differences (your friends want to Fight Everything and you want to Stay Alive (or reversed)). EVERYTHING CAN GO ON A RESUME.

There are so many resources on campus. Use them, for the love of god because then you're going to be an adultier adult and realize that there is not a med center right across the campus.

Find what motivates you. Mine is spite, I am applying to grad school to get out of retail and to spite 2 specific supervisors. Cling to that when you want to drop out and quit.

There is not a specific route to take in college. Or out of college. Listen to yourself rather than everyone's advice (I am aware that this is ironic to be on an advice post).

If you think you can wake up at 9 after like 4 hours of sleep, that is the devil talking to you. Go to bed.

On the same note. I am aware that you woke up at like 5 for high school. You will not want to exist before noon. 8 am classes are not illegal, but they should be.

Take care of yourself. You're paying a shit ton of money to be there, you can take an hour to eat the food. Plus, if you take care of yourself, then you will work better.

There will be weird shit happening all over. Just roll with it. Unless it's hurting someone or has the potential to hurt someone (my one friend got stalked).

You are not required to stay somewhere social if it's creeping you the fuck out or if you aren't comfy. I think I went to a single party in my entire college life and I hid in the corner with their illegal kitten the whole time.

Speaking of illegal kittens. If you know someone has an illegal kitten, no the fuck you do not. There probably will be at least one. And you do not know about it.

[stealingyourbones]

Hey Bones, I saw your thing about a Bat family member becoming a ghost and it reminded me of a very heart breaking au a friend and I came up with a while back that I don't remember if I submitted or not. Either way, be prepared to have your heart broken.

Tim is dead. He's been dead for a while actually. But No one seems to have noticed. He looks and feels just as solid as he did before he died, even if he's got a lower body temperature and doesn't seem to get hurt on patrol beyond bumps and bruises. Never anything that would land him in med Bay, never anything that would make his family check on him.

No one has noticed the way he doesn't eat anymore, or the fact he doesn't sleep. He's extended his patrol hours and cut back on time at Wayne Enterprises. He's pretty sure not even Alfred noticed. He knows the Kryptonians aren't worried about him not having a heart beat and they have no reason to tell anyone. They know he has a special device that can hide him from their senses and tests it on Kon a lot to make him focus on spacial awareness beyond his hearing. He used it a lot before he died. They just think he hasn't turned it off in a while.

Tim remembers how he died. Not fully, but there are pieces. He remembers he was fighting someone on a bridge and he didn't call for back up because he thought he could handle it. He doesn't remember who he thought he could handle. He remembers something stinging his arm. A bug? No a bug couldn't bite through Kevlar, it was a needle. Then everything started going dark and he was stumbling back. His back hit something hard and he tiped over it. He thought he could land on the other side. He remembers wondering why his suit felt so damp and heavy as the world went black around him.

Tim's body is still at the bottom of the bay where it will likely stay forever with so, so many other bodies. It makes Tim wonder, why him? Why not everyone else who ended up down there? Why not everyone who has died in Gothem? Did he come back like Jason did, is it something to do with being a vigilante? Tim checks his own pulse again while he's alone. Yep. Still dead. He continues on his patrol and tries to shove those thoughts away.

So what if Tim's dead? He's still here and he still has work to do. His family is full of detectives. If they can't figure out that something as important as death has happened to one of their own? Well then Tim thinks they need to pay more attention. He ignores the pain that curls in the back of his mind at that thought.

It's been 6 months. Why hasn't anyone noticed? Tim can't help but wonder if they ever will.

Howdy its me @bonebrokebuddy answering. I'm Twone's (twin bones) twin who is helping answer asks because this fucker has like, over 100 of them in her ask box and I help her with making prompt ideas frequently so she trusts me to not horribly fuck up her account.

This is my first answer for her I've written because I had my screen on low brightness and on darkmode, so your profile jump scared the shit out of me when I scrolled past it. Therefore im answering this one first.

Anywho, from my chronic inability to write angst here goes: Tim died, came back and none of the Bats seemed to care. So what? It's not like his best friends hadn't done the same thing. And he was tired and sick of the Bats thinking his entire life revolved around them.

So he packed up his bags and headed to Kansas.

The Bats might not be worried but neither was Kon or Bart. They're actually thrilled after getting over their initial grief that Tim now has also personally experienced death and came back. The funeral was a rather small, breif, and quiet afar. Kon made sure to help locate Tim's corpse and Bart helped with the eulogy (surprisingly heartfelt and moved them all to tears.)

Sure, they're sad that Tim died but he's right in front of them, it's a little more difficult to morn when you've been laughing at said dead guy who got stuck halfway through phasing out of the wall. And now Tim can keep track with them!

Kon is a little pissed that Tim can now go intangible and escape his TTK so he can't take away Tim's coffee anymore. But it's kinda worth it. The first time he took Rob on his favorite flight path, he's never wanted anything else than to hear Tim's breathless laugh and see his frighteningly perfect smile again. They now often go on flights together, high above the clouds with no-one else but them for thousands of miles around. (it almost felt like a date)

Bart knew this would happen one day. He was from the future, of course he knew that Tim Drake, formerly Red Robin, died at age 19 and changed his alias to The Grey Ghost. It doesn't mean that Bart doesn't morn the passing of his friend. Tim means a lot to him and the brief guilt that he did not stop Tim's death also quickly passes. He can finally show Tim that hiding space in the walls that no one else can get to without phasing through the wall! One other thing. Bart is unsure if Kon has noticed yet, which he knows Kon isn't the most observant of the old young justice crew but he has to have noticed it by now. Ever since Tim left Gotham he's developed an insane appetite despite claiming that he didn't need to eat while in Gotham and also being dead so why does he need to eat? (Unknown to Bart, Kansas doesn't have as much ambient ectoplasm as Gotham and Tim is starting to experience the withdraw symptoms. If the trio don't realize how to fix Tim's worsening symptoms soon, Tim might actually die for good this time.)

[scoobydoodean]

first off, i fully agree with what you’ve said about why those specific memories of sam’s were shown to them! but i’ve been trying (and kinda failing) to figure out why those ones of dean’s memories were shown, like if there’s a reason beyond the comparison of: dean’s are with his family vs sam’s are not. do you think that’s really it, that comparison, or have you seen any other deeper layers/meanings to the memories chosen for dean? (hope this makes sense lol)

context

I think the memory in the field with the fireworks is for contrast. Sam doesn't see that one. It represents to Dean not only his fondness for his little brother, but also what he was willing to do just to make Sam happy. The fireworks Dean bought weren't just your standard Roman Candles or bottle rockets. He bought expensive types that create major light shows in the sky, and those aren't cheap, and we know John didn't help because Sam implies he wouldn't have approved—which means Dean also risked doing this behind John's back and possibly facing some kind of punishment for drawing attention or wasting money. It also represents Dean trying his hardest to make holidays happy and normal for Sam (these fireworks were shot on 4th of July). When he locates Sam immediately after, it's enjoying a major holiday at someone else's house, because (from Dean's perspective) Dean's attempts weren't good enough no matter how hard he tried.

As for the memory with Mary—which is the Dean memory that Sam gets to see—I think it helps to suppose that if Sam's memories are intended to tell Dean something, Dean's memories are meant to tell Sam something. In the Mary memory, we see that twinge of loss—and maybe not quite envy—but some form of grief from Sam when Dean gets to enjoy that memory with Mary in their old house and Sam doesn't. Sam tries to speak to Mary, but she can't see him. Those happy memories are something Sam isn't able to touch, and I think that colors his response later when Dean asks why all his memories are being away from their family. Sam jumps to "I didn't get the crust cut off my PB&J" because he's still thinking about and grieving that loss, and is probably wondering if he'd have that desire for tenderness that's so present in Dean's interactions with Mary, if Sam had ever gotten the chance to know her as a mom.

Like—contrary to fanon narrative, in the actual show Supernatural, there is a tenderness in Dean that simply isn't that present in Sam's interactions with others up to season 5. Sam loves their family, and his sense of filial piety in particular becomes very strong (see: 2.02, 2.05, actual Sam in 2.20, 4.19, 5.13), but he primarily thinks of family by season 5 as a source of security, strength, and built-in community in a world where most "normal" connections aren't possible. See what he tells "Adam" in 4.19:

Being a hunter isn't a job, Adam. It's life. You're pre-med. You got a girlfriend, friends? Not anymore you don't. If you're really gonna do this, you can't have those kinds of connections, ever. They're weaknesses. You'll just put those people in danger, get them killed. That's the price we pay. You cut 'em out, and you don't look back. There's only one thing you can count on. Family.

In his interactions with "Adam", he focuses on teaching him the ropes. In his interactions with found family like Bobby, he avoids the hard conversations riddled with painful emotions and risk of seeing someone get hurt/killed and focuses on the mission. When he can tell Dean isn't doing well in season 2 and 4, he pushes Dean to open up then flips the narrative to wanting Dean to get over it as soon as he knows what's going on. He isn't actually a very (genuinely) tender person by default up to this point. So maybe he sees a connection between Dean's capacity for tenderness and desire for tenderness and their mother's affections when Dean was a child, and thinks "Well I didn't get that, and that's why I'm like this." Neither he nor Dean actually ever clock that Zachariah is leading them to the specific memories he wants them to see.

[velvetcloxds]

Hey sunshine! Could i get 📮DITCH THE WHOLE SCENE- send me a character and any option from my request guidelines and I'll write a baby blurb/dialogue for..

With Chris maybe where reader has a caffeine induced migraine because her tiny 5’0 body can’t take too much and because she brought a new coffee machine she’s a little too obsessed, and we’ll just say it causes a very hyper active reader with a raging headache 😭

definitely not me right now..

CATCH ME | S.R.

word count: 0.6k

warnings: bby I don't write for chris on here so I did actor!steve instead, age gap because it's me, migraines - haven't written for steve in a while, not sure this is some of my best kdsjds

Steve was sure he tucked you into bed a few minutes ago, you weren't all that pleased that he insisted on cleaning the kitchen all alone but he was always playing police when your migraines came to pay a visit. So, when he heard the clinking of the spoon against the mug as you pattered into the living room he was surprised, to say the least.

You pretended not to see him yet, eyes stuck to the bottom of your empty coffee mug as his followed your every move. Your head was still pounding, so you were very lucky that Steve preferred the house a little darker at night, but the caffeine rushing through your veins wasn't doing your busy mind any favours.

"Sweetheart," it was the sweetest sound, you determined, his soft little pet name sounding even softer when filled with so much care. You turned around to look at him, managing the purest little hum, eyes large despite your pain as your fingers drummed soundlessly over the outside of the mug. "You should be in bed," he cooed looking the perfect domestic sight while folding up the drying cloth and abandoning it next to the sink, socked feet sliding over the cold tiles to get to you.

"I can't," you breathed and offered your hand as a reason, the lovely smell of the little droplets of coffee letting him know just what was to blame for your current state. "My brain is awake," you explained further and he couldn't help a small smile, nodding lightly in understanding before placing the mug clad in his face on the display table.

"Coffee at night, huh," he began and you were prepared to be reprimanded, surrendering simply because his hands found a place to settle on your waist, squeezing lightly as he took his time to rake his eyes over you. "Thought we talked about that."

"We did," you agreed and your hands were just a little too eager as they grabbed at his arms, making him sigh lightly, not upset at all, amused more like, it was hard not to be but he was trying really hard to focus on getting you to settle down. "But it's so good Steve, there are so many different types and flavors and don't even get me started on the little espresso cups, you know they're too cute to resist."

"Baby," his reprimand was even more amused this time around, much less serious and it made you smile, and giggle even despite the strain it put on your head. "Did you drink your meds?" he knew that he put them in your hands with a glass of water before he had to pick up a call from his agent and now he realized that it gave you the perfect chance to make yourself that coffee. "Thought so, okay, let's get you back to bed."

"Steve," you began and he wanted to kiss the pout from your lips, the little steps you took away from him made it very clear that this was going to be no easy task. "I really don't want to go to sleep," you wasted no time sprinting across the living room, your own socked feet making it much easier to move around as you giggled, pausing to close your eyes for a second, willing the pain to settle long enough for you to get your way. Steve sighed, arms folding over his chest in familiar worry as he looked you over, waiting patiently for you to open your eyes again.

"What am I going to do with you, trouble?" you giggled again, softer this time as your restraint was fading but still you leaned your elbows onto the back of the couch and shrugged.

"You need to catch me, silly," and he did, after a rather short-lived chase around his apartment and many grumbled comments from you as he lead you right back to bed, making sure to steal as many kisses as possible as he tucked you in once again. He made sure to watch you swallow the pain meds before turning off the bedroom light and crawling into bed right next to you, all objection fading from your system when you sighed in satisfaction in his arms.

[nerves-nebula]

Idk about your intentions, and feel free to ignore me if I’m wrong, but Mikey sounds like a maladaptive daydreamer lol.

Just some background, maladaptive daydreamers use these huge fictional worlds called paracosms to escape reality. Some people do it because of anxiety or stress, but some do it as like a coping mechanism (which is how I’d see Mikey doing it based on your dissociation post) People with maladaptive daydreaming can stim while doing it, like rocking back and forth, pacing, etc, but some can master the art of being able to sit still and just daydream whenever. There’s almost an addictive aspect to it, and a lot of daydreamers have to take adhd or anxiety meds to shake it

Would Mikey stim at first but learn to stay still after Splinter lectured him too many times? Would his paracosm be the book that he’s writing about killing splinter? Idk feel free to look at this like I’m crazy but this subject is very close to my heart as I’m a daydreamer myself.

OK SO like. I don't know. and I don't know if Mikey has maladaptive daydreaming for a specific reason.

That being that I'm basing him on myself. I spent a lot (AND I DO MEAN A LOT) of my time in my head as a kid. I don't really know what a paracosm is so I'm not sure if I was exploring within them. but there are huge chunks of my childhood i really only remember via the emotional exploration I was doing inside these fictional worlds. Like most of puberty for me was just imagining gay fictional gods and forbidden love and abuse and violence and at all that. and it's hard for me to tell if that was a bad thing because it's linked to a very integral part of my personality- that being the desire to tell and experience stories.

I was always dragging around paper and pencils to draw these imagined worlds. But i was also often just sitting with my eyes closed (or sometimes opened, but closed if I wanted to really focus)

if I was painfully bored, or very anxious (which happened often, basically any time i was outside the house or not watching tv or playing a game) I would do this. If I was stuck in a car or a room while my siblings were fighting violently, I would force myself to try to only think about my characters. If the talk radio host was getting on my nerves I would try to drown him out by thinking about my characters going through their worlds and getting in fights and having sex and all that stuff.

this got even better (or worse, considering how you think of it) once I got earbuds/headphones and access to my cousins old ipod. I was finally able to fully block out the world and only, ONLY ever think of my stories. just how I'd always wanted.

and sure, I was always kind of spacey, but even when I wasn't thinking of stories and art I was bad at paying attention the way adults liked. I think adults liked me more when I was just sitting there thinking anyway, instead of being hyper and then having an emotional breakdown when i realize they thought I was annoying.

There was a particularly vibrant time for daydreaming around puberty where i had dozens if not around a hundred different intricate stories that I started to overlap, just because. And I'd go through them over and over, adding or changing little things, making up reasons that the characters would all end up living in the same bunker or fighting the same enemy. making up reasons for the god of war and his little lamb prince to be torn apart. making up reasons for them to attack each other. then forcing them back together through all the trauma.

and recalling these spaces makes me kind of shiver because they're almost like real memories to me. I remember thinking of these scenarios more than I remember my real life around 11-12 years old. And i think that's largely because after I got my blackbelt at around 11 years old, my parents let me quit karate, and didn't force me to do any more sports or anything. So for the most part I legit never left the house. My entire life was in these stories and in my art.

I really only stopped doing this once I got sent off to high school at around 13-14 and was basically FORCED to participate in the real world more.

but I did that all on purpose. i was bored, and i hated other kids because they never clicked with me. and it never seemed to interrupt my life in a way that my parents noticed or cared about. in fact it was the only thing that kept me from being actively suicidal for a while there!

so like. i don't know man. i don't know.

[celestie0]

what do you think about grad school and maybe getting a masters or phd? like for you😭 i’m curious what more do you feel about academia

hiii bb!! ouu yeah i think with the way things are in job market rn, at least for a science degree, having a masters is a MUST and phd too if you want to teach or go into research...just an undergraduate degree for any STEM job i have noticed doesn't suffice unless you're like a comp sci major or have hella connections or something lmfaooo (or if you're a trust fund baby)

i'm actually going to med school so my four years of undergrad were spent working towards that goal, and not really with thoughts of phd or masters, but i did think about doing a masters during my gap year (which would've been this past year) since my school offered a few one years masters programs that i was interested in. it was gonna be a sort of back up plan for me in case i didn't get in anywhere, but ultimately i just had faith in my application n didn't want to spend money on a year of masters tuition haha

but it's hard for me to say for other fields, such as humanities, on what i think of the necessities of masters/phd programs...i'd imagine it's the same though, you'd probably need to pursue a lot of higher education to be qualified to teach or publish etc. in premed, you've got options of going to nursing school, PA school, med school, so i guess there are ways to pivot that don't involve masters programs if you still wanted to be a healthcare provider

i did watch an interesting video recently about the whole trap of the phd/masters pipeline, where students get a degree and think they'll be able to land a decent job post grad from wishful thinking, spend lots of time unsuccessful in the job market, then scramble to apply to grad school, and then even if they feel as though the phd program they're in isn't really giving them what they want from it, they don't want to quit because at that point it'll feel like sunken cost, and it damages their mental health and motivation and is basically this recurring loop where the system forces students to continuously stay in school and do excessive amount of research/work for criminally low compensation, just to become overqualified candidates for barely minimally paying jobs. ofc all in the name to benefit the insanely rich and wealthy. honestly most grad students i meet are stressed and so incredibly jaded, i can't imagine that it's easy on them at all. a lot of universities hardly pay them any sort of livable wage for the work that they do

as for academia in general, i think it's worth it to become educated, as it can open doors. obviously there are different paths for all people, some people choose not to go to school, some people go to trade school, others go to school much later in life. i remember i worked w this one doctor who was a mechanic for thirty years and he went back to school to get his undergrad degree and then went to med school, all while he was in his 50s, and now he's a practicing physician! i thought that was really incredible and inspiring. school is something that's there for you whenever you want it, need it, or feel ready for it. i think it's worthy to invest in your education, but you have to go into it knowing that you're going to make the most of it. in that, pursue higher education if you have a plan of why you're there and what you're going to do when you're there, and not just for the sake of earning a degree or putting off working because you'd rather just stay a student. the reason why someone from harvard might work at the same job as someone who went to community college is ultimately because the person who went to CC might've made more of their experience n harnessed connections/skills n probably had a much more clear idea of what they wanted to do with the education they were earning compared to someone who might've been coasting through a reputable school because once they got in, that was all they cared about (lol i sound bitter saying this, no hate to big name schools, but it's such a common misconception that just because you get a degree from like an ivy league, you'll be set for life. and same applies vice versa. some of the smartest ppl i know are people who did CC for two years and then transferred to a four year university. they saved hella money and got the same degree in the end, with the same exact if not better job opportunities. similarly, i've worked at clinics/hospitals where some of the doctors went to UCLA and others went to caribbean med school, but they all ended up at the same place in the end)

GOD THIS BECAME SO LONG i swear whenever i answer asks on my computer it becomes an essay loool but yea these are just my general opinions about college, higher education, and academia in general? i hope this answers and that i didn't misinterpret the question hahah but thank u for the ask bb!!

[canipetthatdeaddove]

My mom's husband has completely abandoned her, left her off his insurance since last year, and "forgot" to add her during the enrollment period in October for this year.

My mom suffers from epilepsy (grand mal seizures), has had a frontal lobe craniotomy (a fucking lobotomy that made everything worse), still suffers from debilitating seizures, has a sodium depletion syndrome that makes life a living hell (imagine being told you can only have less than a cup of water a day to prevent fluid retention but have to take salt pills, your skin is drying out to the point its sloughing off, your eyes sting from crying literal salt crystals). On top of that, it's just awful to be her - so much unhealed trauma from her childhood and abusive relationships. There's no safe place in her head, so she spends all day watching Korean dramas and doing whatever she can to escape her reality.

David Welch, son of Elmer and Ann Welch, wants my mother to die. He's waiting for it. He's watching it. And I'm helpless to do anything. They had to change her meds over the last year due to finances - not medical reasons. Meds that have Fucked. Her. UP. because they aren't the right meds that work for her. They're merely what she can afford. She can't get the medical attention she needs, she can't go to St. Luke in KC, she can't go to the Mayo Clinic, and she is paying thousands of dollars out of pocket for the meds that are just killing her.

I'm not being quiet about it anymore. If only people whose opinion mattered to him would see. Go see her in the broken home he refuses to pay anything to fix where mold is rife and the plumbing is fucked, the washing machine barely works; go visit her and look at all the bumps and bruises from falling because he refuses to have any accessible ANYTHING installed, her skeletal frame, and read all the hundreds of abusive and weirdly religious messages he sends her.

He could divorce her. He is non-disabled and in full control of his mental faculties. He could divorce her. But I think the fucker wants the attention of calling himself a widower someday.

My mom wouldn't be in this situation if there was anything I could do about it. She has a host of unpleasant mental issues that keep her there, in that depressing home, dying. She doesn't think she's worth fighting for; I know it. A lot of people actually feel that way, too.

I've gone through my seasons with my mom. But I'm sober now. And no matter what the past, her imperfections, the direct correlation to her behavior and my drinking - she doesn't deserve this. And my drunk brother and tweaking fucking sister will probably die from their own addictions because mom will die horribly and miserably before they reconcile, and the pain of it will hasten them to their graves.

I'm in a lot of pain over this, and I am not at the point in my sobriety where I've got a handy set of tools to handle this. Stoicism? Would you? As your mother deteriorates in a perfectly preventable situation? As someone ELSE decides she's not worth it? If you can do that, I can't relate to you. You're in the same category as her husband - a cruel monster.

[softpine]

@bb-enablefreebuild it's true, but asa says it himself, "I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have everything a person could want and a better family than some could ever imagine - but it’s not enough for me. I don’t know why. I want to be happy, but I don’t know how." it was important for me to include that part in there, because that has nothing to do with finn – well, only a little bit in that he knows he can come across as ungrateful given that his family is incredibly supportive and some people's families, like finn's, are the opposite. otherwise, this is entirely centered around asa's internal feelings. he's had depression nearly his entire life, it's just that when finn is around he's able to find reasons to take care of himself (going outside for long walks, sleeping regularly, paying attention in class because finn tells him to, taking his meds, etc.) and without finn there to ground him, asa is falling apart for more reasons than one. so yes it's the heartbreak of losing your first love, but it's more than that for him. it's losing the primary reason for living in the moment and looking forward to the future :(

he will be soooooooo pissed :( we'll have to wait and see if asa tells him the truth (or the full truth) about how he got to this point... especially after everything asa said in this post; he KNOWS finn wouldn't approve of any of his actions thus far, but he keeps digging his grave deeper and deeper because he's already gone too far, he's already broken finn's trust and he can't leave things like this now :(

that tag is so funny, i wasn't even referring to myself in Sim God terms i was just mad at him as if i'm a powerless reader like the rest of you jfkjsds and YEAH poor casper :( he'll come up in one of the next posts so i don't want to say too much, but the fact that his worst fear is missing out on something important while he's away, to the extent that he's calling constantly to check on his family is so..... :(

bro yes 🤭

thank you for sharing!! that makes complete sense to me and that's a really sweet way to incorporate your mom in that decision 🥺

RIGHT he needs the sense knocked into him fr

@forgotten-pixels ahhhh i love this question, i was JUST thinking about mac while i was making vegan chili mac the other day fjkjsds i'm actually going to save this in my inbox and take some pictures for you when i have the energy because i miss mac and honey too :') they're always hanging out in the same room while i'm taking screenshots, they just NEVER make it into any good pics. it's actually a curse i swear

i honestly have no idea, i'm sorry 😭 it'll probably be awhile though, i haven't been doing great tbh but i want the next post to look as good as it does in my head so i don't want to half ass it!!

@itsalwaysgonnabeher oh you caught that huh sjfkjsds don't worry (yet) 💖

@little-orphan-ant I'M SORRY 😭 i'm thinking brandi wtf at all times too lmao

omg okay so i'm saving this message in my inbox for later because i KNOW for a FACT that i listed everyone's favorite candy many years ago but tumblr's search function is so incredibly ass and i don't have the energy to keep searching for it right now but i will find it eventually i promise 🥺 and if not i'll just rewrite it and then when i inevitably find the original post we can compare my answers and see how well i know my characters' tastes fjksjds

absolutely yes i'm afraid 😌

in my head i still have to sound it out sometimes if it's been forever since i've typed her name fjksjds

@rebouks thank you so much 🥺🥺 the same goes to you!!! 💖

@moonfromearth thank you!! it's so sweet you thought of me ;-; 💗

[thessalian]

Thess vs the Bank Holiday Blues

Currently doing the mental health evaluation and ... well, sometimes you just do everything you possibly can and you're still fucking struggling. Which fucking blows, thank you very much.

I've gone through the checklist. I've eaten. I've hydrated. I slept recently. Technically my "meds for neuropathic pain" are an antidepressant so I can't even say I need meds. As for therapy ... well, been there, done that, developed the coping mechanisms. But mental health-wise? I am struggling to cope at this point.

To be fair, this is largely external factors. This is the realisation that I was very much right about literally nothing changing in this country when we got a Labour government, because now they're saying, "Well, the Tories lied about the massive financial hole they left so we have to scrap all our infrastructure promises, cut the winter fuel allowance, and let the energy companies jack up their prices right at the start of autumn" and it's getting to a point where I wonder if they're just trying to kill the old people so they don't have to pay their state pension.

This is seeing some of the short-sighted bullshit going on in the US in the run-up to their own election. Because I know a whole lot about populist garbage and people making protest votes without thinking about what they're doing, okay? Our general elections here aren't the best example of it, but I have a better one - Brexit. We ended up leaving the EU for a few very simple reasons: a) populist wankers like Johnson and Farage lied through their teeth to win the racist vote; b) some people didn't really want to leave the EU but didn't like how the EU was going about things so voted leave in protest; or c) figured that Leave couldn't actually win and so didn't bother voting. Now, does any of that sound familiar?!? All you have to do is add d) third options that will never win but take the vote away from the sensible choice and you've basically got the US right now. And this country destroyed itself at least partly based on that one stupid badly-planned referendum. The US can't survive another Trump term, I can't actually do anything about the stupids that might allow Trump to take the election, and I have too many people I love in that country to be anything less than terrified. I know that my feelings are valid, I know I can't spend too much emotional energy on something I can't change, but still.

My situation is still not great. It's never going to be, and I know that, just because of circumstance. I guess it's just harder to keep from being depressed about my disability when so much else is weighing me down. I try to keep counting my blessings, because I have a lot of those. Still, no matter how hard you try, some days everything that's wrong seems so big that you're kind of stuck squished. That and probably the Bank Holiday Blues. I mean, I don't work Mondays anyway, but there's a different vibe to the world on Bank Holiday Mondays.

Right. I just need to take my mind off the blues. One of the blessings I can count is that my last therapist was basically the best. She didn't focus on the diagnosis as handed down from the psychs (which was almost definitely a standard "ADHD is often misdiagnosed as BPD in women" thing) and instead looked at my symptoms and my previous coping methods, and helped me hone them into something healthier. Some people would call what I do "avoidance" and "escapism"; I call it "therapeutic hyperfocus". I've done every healthy thing I can to improve my mood, so if the mood's still there, and hyperfocusing on, like, a video game or something keeps me grounded until it blows over, I do that.

Of course, then I have to pick which video game, but I do have a playthrough of BG3 that I am determined to complete, and nothing says "hyperfocus" like "game you've played a few times before but will still hold a couple of surprises because Dice Be Like That". And I deserve some fun after having had to spend most of Saturday in bed because migraine and exhaustion.

[carrotcouple]

A lot of people have been asking about the OCs in this post. So I made an obligatory doodle of the main characters and am doing a quick explanation in this post.

These are the main characters from my fairly new OC story which is currently fondly under the placeholder name #necromancers and biohazards. Anyways it's an urban fantasy story with many many different kinds of people (people???? beings???). The protagonists are a group of definitely not sane morally gray idiotic housemates who are fully under govt. scrutiny because two of them were accused of having created a deadly bioengineered plague of sorts that's been killing everyone.

Alright, quick run down of the characters!

First off! Enxo (They/Them) Enxo is a no good, morally off necromancer who got turned into a vampire against their will. They sell "life insurance" of a sort by saying they'll resurrect someone if they die. Enxo is a devil may care biochemist as well and has a strangely large amount of charisma. They were accused of creating the bioengineered disease along with their best friend Qing.

Secondly, Livie (She/Her). Livie used to be a government worker but then was falsely accused of a crime and was kicked out and ostracized. She lost her home and no one who she used to know wants to associate with her. Ren picked her off the streets and brought her over. And since everyone in the house minded their own business and treated her fairly well, she stayed. She's a goodie two shoes and tries to keep her housemates out of obvious illegal nonsense.

Thirdly, Monhir (They/Them). Monhir is an undead abomination. They died(?) after contracting the bioengineered plague, but because of what they were before they died, they didn't exactly die and instead became...that. They're weird, they're a hazard and they've got colorful personality. Monhir drinks all the vanilla essence in the fridge, sleeps under other people's beds and crab walks(?) around the house.

Fourth, Qing (He/Him). Qing is Enxo's best friend, partner in crime, enabler and also their voice of reason. Qing is probably the only reason Enxo is even alive right now. With a good head on his shoulders and much nerdiness in the way of biotechnology, he makes sure everyone knows when to hit the accelerator and also the breaks. He also thinks Enxo is an idiot.

Fifth, Ren (They/Them). Ren is a bit crazy. Ren loves gossip and sparkles. They work at a party store for most of their day, but then spends the rest of their time listening to gossip and gathering information. This has led to them being one of the most valuable information assets in the country. Oh yeah they also like fuzzy slippers and adopt people way too frequently. They were stopped from bringing people home permanently after Livie. This doesn't mean they don't bring people over for dinner.

Sixth, Ytal (She/Her). Ytal is a mercenary and also an assassin if she's paid enough (Livie doesn't know this). She's never allowed to do anything around the house because of the brute force she's capable of. She's broken too many lightbulbs. She's also cursed and so will sometimes just throw up blood and pass out. Enxo has her on several different meds to manage this though and she pays them a hefty amount by acquiring random body parts for experimentation (Livie once again does not know this).

And lastly, Zayn (He/Him). Zayn is a bit of a mystery. None of his housemates know about who he used to be before he started living with them. (To be honest, they could all find out but none of them care to look into it). Zayn used to be a popular celebrity who would smuggle people in and out of countries so that they could find refuge in other countries away from wars and more. However, several countries found out about this so he changed his identity and is now living a quiet and uncomplicated life (aside from the random life threatening explosion he faces for rooming right next to Qing and Enxo's lab).

The story kinda focuses on the bioengineered disease and everything surrounding it. Enxo is technically the main character which I love them for. They're fantastic. A lot of this story is still under development but yeah. That's all. Will probably post more stuff of them at some point! Thanks for tuning in.

[17gz]

it still baffles me that i knew this friend for 6 fucking years and we had a convo abt their partner that lasted over 8 hours where they fully acknowledged all the bullshit their partner puts them through where even I LEARNED SHIT THEIR PARTNER DID TO THEM... they even acknowledged that every single person in their life hates their partner. to the point that it made them cry. they had so long to break up with that person so that we could renew our lease and fix shit. we all made it clear that the living situation depended on their relationship with that person and that we could not continue living with them.

(little break here to say: we were originally planning on splitting the rent 4 ways when their partner got evicted. we had an ENTIRE CONVO ABOUT THIS. it would have been abt $775 per person which is IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND IN NYC. i knew their partner was having a hard time financially so i said maybe they could contribute max $500 per month, closer to $200-$250 per month whether thats covering utilities, or groceries, or making someone elses rent easier to pay. i said i was VERY comfortable meeting them where they were as long as it was above $100 a month. which is fucking reasonable for an able bodied employed person. which this person was. and they talked alllll this big shit abt usually paying $1500 for rent but being in a tough financial position. and no matter how many times i said "thats unreasonable, thats out of all of our budgets, lets stick to something under $500 and start with that to make this work" they REFUSED to listen. and then ended up paying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR THE FOUR MONTHS THEY STAYED THERE RENT FREE MOOCHING.)

this person did not contribute a fucking cent for any of us. this person actively made OUR SPACE a fucking hellish nightmare to live in and made it SO FUCKING HOSTILE. CONSTANTLY RACIST AND HOMOPHOBIC AND TRANSPHOBIC AND FATPHOBIC.... literally a closeted terf

and when it came down to making a decision. when there were months leading to weeks to days where you'd been aware of all of this and we were all waiting for you to rip the bandaid off. you chose them over your friends who were there for you through literally everything.....

and they have the nerve to treat us like we're the villains in this..... im glad none of our friends are believing a word they've said... but jesus....

oh this isnt the first 2 people they've done this to btw...

we're 2 out of 4 ROOMMATES THIS SHIT HAS HAPPENED TO.....

like jesus christ you are a lost cause theres no help for you, you hit rock bottom every 5 minutes but refuse to acknowledge that you are the one causing all the problems and instability around you because other people can only take so fucking much...... emphasis on SO FUCKING MUCH.... i cant even fully describe all the shit i have seen + SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SEEN.

YOU SEE A THERAPIST AND PSYCHIATRIST 4x A MONTH OUT OF POCKET AND YOU WONT EVEN TAKE YOUR MEDS BUT YOU LIE ABOUT TAKING THEM..................................

good lord i just cant believe i wasted 6 fucking years of my life trying to see the best in this person when 1) they would NEVER EVER do this shit for us and 2) THERE IS NO recognition of wrongdoing on their end. everyone is wrong but them. they're obviously the victim....

[xstarkillerx]

I found you through one of your starkiller posts and I remembered how horny I can be for that man. Just imagine him coming back from a mission, all bruised and battered. He is so touch starved that you tending to his wounds quickly turn into something way more heated.

I found this in my drafts, lmaooooo this is from ages ago

----

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hold on I need to take a second to breathe, because why is the thought of this making me sweat, it's so good.

I'm going to be honest though I've made multiple attempts at answering this ask, adding context, building plot (both attempts under the cut), but I really struggled with it for some reason. I realize now that, that's because all of that was in service of the singular image this put in my head, so I'm gonna cut to the chase and talk about THAT, and if you want some of the failed attempt at backstory, it'll be right there under the cut.

Now, Starkiller knows how to tune out pain, Vader made sure of it. But warmth? Delicacy? Careful, loving hands? Even if they're shaking at the sight of him in this state, it's a far cry from the cold, efficiency of med droids. He doesn't mean to, but it gets him so fucking hard.

Like, I'm sorry all I could picture his him bruised up and bloody with a gash on his thigh getting stitched up by you. And it's the WARMTH, ok the warmth of your hands that gets him first.

Droids are efficient and cold, paying no mind to his pain in pursuit of swift medical care. Your hands are careful, mindful of every bruise and stinging scrape on his body, and warm, so warm against his cold, exposed skin. He doesn't mean to but, fuck it gets him so hard to be touched like this.

His breath is quick, and shallow, not with pain, just with sheer want and shame. And it's not that you don't notice he's hard, or that his huffing and puffing above you while you work on his leg doesn't bring images of other things to mind, but maker not now Starkiller, not while he was seconds from bleeding out only half an hour ago.

You patch him as quickly as possible, but you're a pilot, not a medic, your hands are shaking seeing him in this condition. When you finish, with dry bits of his blood on your fingers, he takes your hands into his massive ones, brings them to his lips and kisses them all over. Palms, wrists, knuckles.

[bugbyte]

Starving Artist Conundrums

I need to figure out how to try and expand my income streams, which you would think would be fairly simple as an artist because there (should be) are tons of ways to sell an image, but not necessarily. I'm tired of constantly playing games with SNAP and healthcare couple of months because I have no safety net if these things fail. This month is getting really, really close to losing it all, through no fault of my own, it's just one person who won't answer their phone and keeps "losing" documents. So, somehow, I have to figure out how people do this. For everything I learned in art school, there wasn't a moment of business education, which is wild considering how many of us were like, painters or sculptors. I was neither, but, how. The irresponsibility of it.

I've had to weed out Society6 and Redbubble from my circle of shop sites because of the weird fee structure they both implemented. I don't have the energy to figure all that out. I'm starting to put things on Threadless, which I've had for a while but haven't used much. I've been investigating Inprnt which I've heard mixed things about lately. Teepublic has done good by me for the most part, but since they're part of Redbubble I don't know how long that's going to last.

I would really like to get back into streaming, because I'm theoretically like halfway or better to a Twitch payout, but I need a few things to make a setup that works for my pain situation, namely a long-ass ethernet cable so I can keep up a fast enough connection. I used to have one, but I think it got given away when we moved for bonkers reasons I cannot remember. Anyway, I have one on my wishlist now that should be the right length, I hope: https://throne.com/radiochio

I really need to knuckle down and finish Follower Volume 1, not that it'll save me financially (probably the opposite) but at least there's the hope that I can at least make, like, a little grocery money from it now and again, or pay the phone bill.

All of this is complicated by the fact that my drawing days are limited/unreliable until I can get my pain under control, which is totally at the whim of doctors' referrals ending up in the right places and/or people actually calling me back as they're supposed to. Also on the medicine working, which thus far nothing has. Let me tell you, it is deeply frustrating to go to appointment after appointment and repeat that no, even tripling the normal dose of ibuprofen doesn't touch what I have happening and I don't want to destroy my organs so I just. Don't deal with it anymore. I am begging for help and no one cares or believes me.

Anyway, life's rough when you're physically pretty limited and perpetually broke. At the very least the new meds they gave me don't make me want to sleep all day, instead they just do nothing at all. Is that a win? I'm not sure.