#aka normal etho

[thewanderingmask]

etho: maximum canadian edition

[spotlightstudios]

Hello Tumblr, say hi to The Boys that made the journey to Uni w/ me!

The top pic is my lil audience (Aka I just keep them for moral support and aesthetic) and the bottom pic is my cuddle guys, a Blahaj I picked up at IKEA and my husky my bf gave me named Ken :)

I love this assortment and I figured a fun post like this would be a nice surprise post :3

[loveaurapearl]

Hey, I saw the new episode of Wild Life and it was amazing. I love how personal these choices are, even though Grian himself didn't choose who got what power. But seriously, it feels like all the powers were personally picked for each player. I've seen people analyze each ablity and their connections and I wanted throw my hat in the ring. (Okay, update. Watched Grian's video and it's clear that Grian did personalized the powers. He has a list of all the people who have what powers, he just didn't realize how dangerous some of these powers are with red names. He mentioned regretting giving Scar the sit command the first time Scar sat on him so yeah. Unlike the randomness of Soulmates in Double life, these powers aren't random. Just want to clarify that.)

The first one I want to mention is Joel's ability since it's the one that has stumped everyone. I mean, after all, what does triple jumping have to do with Joel? Well, at the beginning of his episode, he mentioned that he hears a slime sound effect when he uses his ability. I think his superpower was chosen because of the slime shop that Joel forgot to create for most of Season 10 of Hermitcraft. Now what do Slimes have to do with triple jumping? Well, slimes are bouncy and create momentum. Also, I think Grian put it in because it sounded like a cool power. Also, Also, it allows Joel to do a lot of PARKOUR! Which Joel is obsessed with.

Rendog got the power of masking himself as other people. This is amazing because he masked as Tango in Secret Life and the guy's an actor. He's always putting up masks like the Red King, the King of Hermitcraft, the Guard Dog of the Fairy Forte, and being part of the Gigaverse.

Gem has Astral projection which was given to her because she hates using freecam so it was a punishment to her for being so too good at the game. However, she was given the ability to give her more control over people since she was able to snoop on everyone. Kind of like a Watcher. (Or Listener in some people's headcannons. I've seen evidence for people to think this is a Watcher power or Listener power. I'm leaning on Watcher Power.)

Cleo was given the power to raise the Dead because she is a Zombie.

BigB is the power of the Creaking which is fitting since he became one of them thanks to living in their forrest.

Bdubs has the power of time because of his obsession with clocks and the power of sleep because the man is obsessed with sleeping in Hermitcraft.

Etho is an loof and sneaky man who likes to keeps his distance. He's also a coward so a quick escape plan by yeeting yourself with wind charges helps. Also, he did Frogger in Minecraft and that's a lot of jumping around.

Tango's ability is to flee like he never fleed before. Aka being a coward and also annoy people. (Someone mentioned the icewalker ability could be reference to Decked out 2. Also flee with extra flee.)

Ldshadowlady (Aka Lizzie) is just focusing on the shadow in her user name. It also represents her time falling in the Void in Secret Life. The void energy engrained in her.

Jimmy got invisiblity because the man is always sneaking around and the fact that Jimmy doesn't get this far normally. Normally he's not even alive at this point. So the narrative is kind of representing his unusual position. Also it feels like a very Listener kind of superpower.

Martyn's power is literally the power to LISTEN to people. Very Listener power.

Impulse's power is to swap places with people. It kind of represents how much of a flip-flopper he was in Third Life. Yeah know, traitor Impulse. Also, Enderpearl satis cambers and using weird glitches to find diamonds in Third life references.

Scott's ability of Animal shapeshifting is not only a cruel twisted torture made up by the Watchers because they hate Scott, seriously, it's the worst superpower, but it also represents Scott's kind and gentle nature. While the guy knows how to fight, most of the time Scott is a nice chill guy. He's friendly and charming like a passive mob. He does his best to support the team and he will sacrifice himself for the team. The guy is also soft with animals. Remember the cow and the pufferfish in Third Life? What about the Axolotos in Last Life? Also, the guy likes to get pets in Empires.

Pearl's ability to fly is the fact that she and Grian are Skyblings but also a more subtle connection to the watchers. After all, Watchers do have angel wings.

Grian's ability to mimic everyone else's powers is so Watcher-coded it's not even funny. It's like he's purposely making it clear to everyone that he's a Watcher now. And the fact that he made this Wild Card to get Skizz and Mumbo back is just icing on the cake. He just never realized how bad his wish to bring his friends back would bite him in the back so hard. Ah Grian, not thinking your plans ahead and thinking about the consequences. Just like always.

And finally Scar. Scar has wanted Super strength all season. He mentioned it in episode one and he's been testing it out every time a Wild Card has been activated except for when his teammates were on red. The guy loves the classic power to punch people and to yeet people off cliffs. It fits his namesake. And the power to sit on everything is just genius. Not only does it allow some very funny moments but it fits Scar's cowboy aesthetic. It's also the perfect fit for Scar because at first you think it's harmless. After all, you just get yeeted a bit and Scar rides on you. All fun and games. But once the fighting begins, this power shows how scary Scar actually is. Now you can't get Scar off you because he's sitting on you and you can't knock him off or hurt him. Sure he can't hurt you back, but it just means he's waiting his time. And the yeeting becomes more scary once your falling to your doom off a cliff. It's also a very protective power since he can make foes fly a million miles away from him, out of sword range and now the only way to hurt him is with a bow. A bow which Scar is way more skilled at using. After all, he is the HotGuy. Also he did mention HotGuy in his episode when he was trying to hit Tango. It's just that he missed it since Tango's so fast. (Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Scar got Thorns as part of his power set. Not only is it another defensive weapon since it makes people not want to hit him because they would be hurt back even with range attacks, but also it represents his connections to the earth. He is a terraformer. It also represents Double life since it kind of mimics the gimmick of if you get hurt, I get hurt of being soulmates. Just wanted to add this in.)

Anyway, I hope you like my analysis.

[mambodork]

You answered how each of the hoa buttercups found out about each other, but how do the other hermits react? Is there anyone oblivious to about hoa situation? (I think skizz would be, he would just think mumbo, grian and scar were the normal amount of weird and go ok to anything)

OH, what a fun question! I haven't been thinking too much about this but I'll try my best...

I think after Grian found out about Mumstache he would go straight to Iskall to complain (or maybe prank him along w Mumstache's help). Iskall would just end up laughing his ass off. Like, straight up losing it.

and then it's revealed later on that Grian is ALSO a little guy and Iskall loses it once again, he thinks this is the most hilarious shit that has ever happened ever.

For a more angsty reaction, I'm assuming everyone who knows Grian before his "ascension" AKA the Evo people would be quite mixed emotions at best. Like this guy you've known pretty well dissapears for a bit and then you meet him again and it's pretty cool except for the fact he is now some otherworldly god-thing space spaghetti who has to keep making himself new bodies cuz his old one got destroyed. Like, happy you're not dead man, but what the fuck. Anyways, angsty reunions are always kinda a given in watcher Grian stuff so!! Yeah, not much difference in there!!

I like to imagine Joel and Lizzie to be kinda grossed out by it... like imagine them seeing this weird alien brain creature and facial hair and also blue evil fairy and their face cringes and they just go "eugh..."

Stress would probably find them the cutest little thing ever.

Etho would probably be a little freaked out, i think? Like he would awkwardly just stand there looking at these totally weird & creepy creatures and pretend he's 100% okay with it. Meanwhile Bdubs would just be vocally terrified. Like screams and points whenever he sees them wandering around type thing.

[ahllohehn]

Gem's area ,or whatever the Oracle has, has two kinds of decorations cute cottagecore stuff, and spooky stuff like skulls and stuff

An excerpt from the Camp Oracle's Journal:

"I put some fairy lights and curtains around the cave to make it seem homier. I also made a really wide tent filled with blankets and pillows to add up to the comfiness. After all, it was going to be my home for the next few weeks until I had to go back to school. Actually, it’s gonna be my home for the next summers to come!

There’s not much yet, but I hope to add more soon. Grian’s sister, Pearl, came to visit for a while to get a look at the new oracle (aka me). She was really nice! She helped me out on setting up the decorations around my cave and even gave me an old plushie of hers to add to my tent.

It was a well-loved wolf plushie, if the way the seams were already threatening to burst from just how much it’s been hugged, probably.

I didn’t want to take it at first because, you know, sentimental value! I couldn’t just take away her childhood plushie! But she was really adamant about giving it to me. She reasoned that Tilly (the name of the plushie, by the way) would be safer with me than it was with Grian.

Pearl couldn’t take the plushie with her because she’s always on the move with the goddess Artemis, Hunters of Artemis duties and all that. “It’d be a shame if it got lost mid-expedition,” she said.

And who was I to reject after that reason, you know? So now I have little Tilly living with little Gem in the super comfy and cool Oracle cave!"

Thank you for continuing to read! Have a tour of what's inside of Gem's cave:

COMFY CORNER OF THE CAVE

Cat beanbags and plushies - The cat beanbag is customized to look like Jellie. It was mainly put there during times Scar comes by to hang out with her so he wouldn't have to stay for too long on his wheelchair while visiting.

Seawater rug - Personally sewed by Xisuma after hearing that Gem had interest in marine biology. He wanted her to feel happier when resting in her cave since the cave was too far from the shore and the sea.

Aquatic animal plushies - Impulse and Skizz excitedly came over to give her fish plushies as a welcome gift. The clownfish is named Skizzy. The shark is named Impy, named accordingly to who gave which.

Small foldable table - Gem doesn't fold it often as she keeps her art stuff on it. She draws and makes the pins here.

BY THE WALL

Skull-shaped fairy lights - Not always green in color, but she keeps it green to make everything feel creepy. She had normal fairy lights before this but Cleo jokingly replaced it with string lights she bought during Halloween. Gem liked it so she kept it.

Worn out sword / Worn out shield - Not hers to begin with. They're actually normal weapons Etho had forged as practice before. He gifts them to Gem everytime she wins a spar against him to act as 'spoils of war.'

DESK / CURTAINED SIDE

Desk - There's chairs facing each other on each side of the table. This is where she mainly meets the campers for personal prophecies.

A line of potted plants along the wall - Bdubs offered to give her plants he thinks Gem would like to care for. There's mostly small sunflowers and succulents along the wall. One of the potted plants grew a particular one Gem never saw before. It was only when Pearl came over and questioned why she had a moonlace flower in her cave that she realized she was growing a magical plant. Bdubs never answered as to why he gave it to her.

TENT

Where Gem mainly sleeps. In here, you will never feel uncomfy as she's probably got 20 pillows and 5 blankets in there. Pearl's old plushie, Tilly, lives there with her. Grian asks to come in and cuddle with it when he has a particularly rough day.

about au au tag discord

[shepscapades]

do you have any plans to expand the dbh au outside of hermitcraft? just curious

Yes and no! Dbhc essentially is the normal plot of hermitcraft + friends (+life series, whatever) , except a big handful of them (the androids) were introduced and s8 and s9 of hermitcraft. Since Xisuma (with Doc’s help) is the one who made most of the androids, the androids are limited to hermitcraft characters (aka, sausage or jimmy or any other characters will not be androids). Skizz I think is the only exception, since he was made by Impulse+Doc+Mumbo+Tango+Etho! And he wasn’t technically a hermit at the time that info came out in the au. Though maybe in dbhc skizz WAS made for hermitcraft— not sure on those details yet!

However, since this au pretty much follows normal hermitcraft timeline with s8/s9 onwards (although some androids were introduced/made in s9, and were not present in s8), everyone else (empires, life series, etc) are still part of this world! and the hermits interact with them like they would in normal canon :] which is why we have the life series and everything! This DOES mean that events previous to s8– including 3rd life + previous hermitcraft seasons follow a pretty different timeline, as a lot of those characters would not be there yet. Makes for some fun plot rearranging! But I don’t have all of that figured out yet :]

Hopefully that helps clear it up a bit! I’ve had a few people ask if other non-hermits were going to be androids, so hopefully this answers that too :3

[o1lboy]

yapping about the au im procrastinating writing

Art originally posted on a different acc but then some of the designs got edited and now its getting posted here :]

TIES au where they're all nonhumans pretending to be humans

BASICS : Tango is a cursed man turned witch, trying to break his curse and get rid of his immortality. Impulse is a demon who is 'in tango's service' aka tango summoned him for something centuries ago and they became besties so tango just never dismissed him to let others summon. Etho is a vampire who could care less about disguising himself and wants to just live a normal life (it isnt going well). Skizz is the angel who fell less than a month ago and is struggling to adapt to human life.

Okay i get to go more in depth now :3

Tango / "The Cursed" - During witch hunts and stuff, got cursed by an actual witch when his village was trying to get rid of her. After being hunted and banished from his home, wandered around for a few years before being taken it by a kinder witch (not important who). She taught him everything she knew, and specifically how to disguise his cursed traits (firey hair, tail, claws, sharp teeth. he cannot disguise his red eyes). After she died, he took over her potion business and threw himself into trying to study how to break his curse. He soon learns part of that curse is immortality, and as all his witch friends around him die, summons a demon to try and get the demon to help him fix his curse. Now in modern day, he runs a smoothie place and still hasn't been able to break his curse, but has found more piece with it, surrounded by other immortal friends.

Impulse / "The Summoned" - Having been around for thousands of years, Impulse is a very feared demon who was so done with being summoned. He hated doing tasks for people, hated being a sort of demonic servant who got paid with souls. What does someone even do with a soul? He is able to disguise himself as human due to his demonic powers, as it helped him look 'normal' when he had to go out to do tasks and not immediately get pointed out as nonhuman. When he got summoned by Tango, he did what he always does and helped how he could. He thought it would be a quick task, but years started passing and they were getting nowhere. As time passed, he and Tango slowly got closer and closer until they were friends. Tango changed his order from 'help me break this curse' to 'be my friend'. Theres been one point where Impulse got dismissed from that order, but after Etho showed up, he helped Impulse reunite with Tango. In modern day, he helps Tango run the smoothie shop and in his spare time, continues trying to figure out how to break his friends curse.

Etho / "The Hunted" - A lot younger than both Tango and Impulse. He was turned when he was younger, and his parents did their best to protect him from the truth of it, but they weren't able to protect him for long, as in his teens a vampire hunter came across him and recognised the traits of a vampire. The scar over his eyes is from that hunter, but in the end, Etho managed to kill the hunter. He wears that man's bandanna as a sort of victory symbol, plus he realised it was easy to keep his hair out of his eyes. He met Tango during Impulse's dismissal and kinda became an awkward roommate, which worked for both of them, as etho needed a place to stay and tango needed company. He is the one who managed to get Impulse back to Tango, and by then he had accidentally become a bestie so he wasn't able to leave now. Out of the three, he does the least to disguise himself. His fangs are covered by the mask he wears, and blames any other weird thing on just being canadian. strangely it works. In modern day, he works the night shift at a gas station nearby and gets his blood from impulse, who as demon, blood loss doesnt affect

Skizz / "The Fallen" - A fallen angel kicked from heaven due to a sort of rumour. he doesn't know what the rumour is, but its his goal to figure it out and fight against it, and get back to heaven. When he fell, his wings grew very tattered and messy. His halo is shattered, no longer glowing how it once did. Both his wings and halo are able to be hidden, with his wings able to tuck very tightly against his back and his halo having the ability to go invisible. His skin is covered in golden scars, scars he gained by being a sort of angel warrior. He had wandered around aimlessly for a few days, managing to get money through stealing, as he doesn't understand human culture or the need to pay for things. While wandering, found a poster that Tango had put out advertising the trio's need for another roommate. He went, and somehow got accepted as the final roommate, even though he very much lacks a job. He is slowly learning about human culture and focusing on getting a job, and somehow has not realised his new roommates aren't human, as they are constantly disguised around him. Meanwhile, they also don't realise he's not human, they just think he's a bit goofy.

Other character that have been figured out include Bdubs (werewolf, summoner of impulse during the time tango had dismissed him), Martyn (vampire hunter, descendant of the one that etho killed. matching bandanna to his ancestor, and is doing his best to hunt down etho while failing miserably), Ren (martyn's silly werewolf friend, who is very stressed and doing his best to stop martyn hunting etho so martyn doesnt get severely hurt), Jimmy (phoenix, who has a sort of rebirth every 30 or so years, has been around for maybe as long as impulse), scar (centaur, think chiron from percy jackson for how he hides the horse), zombiecleo (zombie, self explanatory. no clue how they'd hide it)

[panda-wearing-pants]

Lifers ranked by how much of an effect* they have on the season

*Based on the number of times they affected a player's life count (usually)

3rd Life:

Each kill is worth 1 point, but Jimmy also got a point for detonating Grian's trap that kill him, Ren, and Skizz, and Tango got two points from Dare to Flare, which I usually don't personally count as Tango's kills

Grian (8)

Ren (6)

Bdubs (5)

Scar/Martyn (4)

Impulse/Tango (3)

Scott/Skizz/Jimmy (2)

Etho/Cleo (1)

BigB/Joel (0)

Last Life:

As well as each kill being worth 1 point, gifting and receiving lives are both worth 1 point as well, unless the life returns to the gifter (e.g. Joel->Tango->Lizzie->Ren->Scar->Joel)

Joel (12)

Lizzie (11)

Scott (9)

Pearl (7)

Grian/Ren (6)

Scar/Tango (5)

Mumbo/Cleo (4)

Bdubs/Etho (3)

Martyn (2)

BigB/Jimmy (1)

Impulse/Skizz (0)

Double Life:

Each kill is worth 2 points, except for soulbound-on-soulbound kills (Martyn punching Cleo off a cliff), which are worth 1. Dying is worth 1 point, because it causes the players soulbound to lose a life as well

Joel (6)

Etho/Grian/Pearl (5)

Scar/Ren (4)

Cleo (3)

Bdubs/Jimmy (2)

BigB/Scott/Impulse/Martyn/Tango (1)

Limited Life:

Normal kills are worth 2 points, Boogeyman kills are worth 4 points, being killed by a non-boogeyman is worth 1 point, and being Boogey-killed is worth 2 points (1 point is equal to 30 minutes). I don't think I counted the kills to bring the final three down to less than 1 hours.

Grian (51) (aka 25.5 hrs taken/given)

Scott (48)

Martyn (39)

Joel (37)

Impulse (35)

Scar (34)

Etho (27)

Bdubs/Cleo (21)

Pearl (20)

Skizz/Tango (17)

BigB/Jimmy (14)

Secret Life:

Kills, completing red tasks, gifting a heart, and causing someone to fail their task are all worth 1 point. The best way would be to give 1 point per half-heart given/removed, but that is way too complicated

Joel (18)

Scar (17)

Gem/Martyn (16)

Scott/Skizz (12)

BigB/Etho/Pearl (11)

Cleo (10)

Grian/Impulse/Mumbo/Tango (9)

Bdubs/Jimmy (8)

Lizzie (7)

Real Life:

Kills are worth 1 point, but the three kills to bring the last three yellows down to red are not counted, since it did not matter who got the kills

Impulse (5)

Martyn/Cleo (4)

Grian (3)

Scott/Ren/Jimmy (2)

BigB/Pearl (1)

Gem/Scar/Skizz/Joel (0)

Average ranking:

This is calculated the same way as average scores, it is the average of the number of people ranked below them (people on the same rank count as one person) divided by the number of ranks below 1 (100 is the highest and 0 is the lowest)

Not including Real Life:

Gem (75)

Joel (74)

Grian (73)

Ren (68.57)

Scar (60.93)

Pearl (55)

Scott (52.21)

Martyn (46.43)

Lizzie (45)

Etho (42.86)

Bdubs (33.5)

Mumbo (32.5)

Cleo (32.36)

Impulse (25.57)

Skizz (25.27)

Tango (23.07)

Jimmy (14.21428571)

BigB (12)

Including Real Life:

Grian (70.83)

Joel (61.67)

Ren (61.43)

Martyn (52.02)

Scar (50.77)

Scott (50.18)

Pearl (48)

Lizzie (45)

Etho (42.86)

Cleo (40.3)

Impulse (37.98)

Gem (37.5)

Bdubs (33.5)

Mumbo (32.5)

Tango (23.07)

Skizz (20.21)

Jimmy (18.51)

BigB (13.33)

[mof17]

please more apocalypse au please pretty please

(I almost fell out of my chair and broke my neck from how happy I got seeing this lol)

So so for the Aau, there’s a lot to explain. But I should get the ground rules of before the infection that spreads (this is technically an infection AU but eh, apocalypse seems more fitting)(this AU was in help with one of my friends in the beginning of it)

so- let me just dig deep into my Google doc real quick

Before the apocalypse starts, life is normal. There’s a small town, which has most of the characters mentioned in the entirety of the characters living in it.

scar lives with the clockers (minus etho, he left, BUT he will show up later…)(also his attire is his normal skin, BEFORE the apocalypse begins)

(I will be making a post as to why his outfit changes into what was seen in the drawing I made)

grian lives with Pearl (Who is a college student)

Pearl is very much into arts and crafts, so they tend to have very bizarre stuff around the apartment (like gas masks from when Pearl would spray paint things)

gem works at a diner, with Skizz being a cook and Tango being a waiter (alongside Gem)

the four of them don’t know each other EXCEPT Grian and Scar

(Scar, Grian, Pearl, and Gem are pretty much the main four, although more people join on in later)

who used to be in the same middle school and sat next to each other in math class. They would talk occasionally, mainly just Grian helping Scar read the problems and make sense of them or just lending a pencil to one or the other.

one day, Scar gets bullied heavily (it usually happens, but it’s more of a tease). Why does he usually get teased? Because he brings Jellie to school, who is licensed as his emotional support animal and the school just doesn’t care if Jellie is there or not.

but this time, someone took is too far. We’ll call this guy ‘bully’

bully gets a bit psychical taking a book binder from Scar’s bag and tracing it along his face, saying some things, the cut draws blood (and eventually turns into a scar later on in his life)

but out of nowhere, the bully get shoved into the ground, by who? None other than Grian! Grian is one of the only hybrids in the school, him being an Avian, or more specifically Macaw, he draws a lot of attention. see, the town isn’t exactly fond of Hybrids, it’s more discriminatory than most places. So the chances of the bully getting expelled is lower than Grian getting expelled

Grian continues to fight the bully, and the bully fights back

it’s eventually broken up by a teacher, and they’re sent to the office. Grian gets expelled, and is never seen again by Scar

that is until a faithful day in his senior year, where after school, he goes to Theatre, the only place he’s really accepted in. Ren is the teacher.

As Ren is teaching the Theatre club and gives them just a scenario to get a feel for the play they’ll be doing (a mock of third life)

the people in the theatre club include

Scar (18)

tango (19)

Mumbo (on sound)(18)

Katherine (yes, she’s here, it’s important I have to include Nature wives in here somehow, but that’s all of Empires that will be in this AU probably. Other than that, it’s a mix of the life series and Hermitcraft)(18)(set)

Joel(18) (EYYY IT’S THE ONE WITH THE EGO!)

and more

They all take turns being the “lead” in this script, Joel voltuneers to go first

as they’re performing lines, Joel happened to forget a prop, so he calls out to someone who is sitting by the prop table that’s next to Ren’s desk.

that someone happens to be Grian, Grian panics as he didn’t expect to be called on or spoken to at all during this. He throws the prop (a wooden sword) and accidentally hits Scar in the head (Sound familiar? COUGH first death COUGH lol)

Scar passes out and luckily, he doesn’t get a concussion because author logic. While he passes out, there’s a flashback scene (AKA THE FIGHT FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL THAT WAS STATED EARLIER :D)

Scar wakes up and sees Grian, who is apologising but Scar’s ears are ringing, he points to Grian and just says “You look familiar…” and then closes his eyes again. When he wakes up, Theatre is about over and there’s an ice bag on his head and the mysterious “stranger” (grian) that he saw, is now gone. Scar goes up to Ren, and talks to him about him

Ren mentions that that was a brother of a friend from college (Pearl). He tells Scar that he doesn’t go to school and is technically homeschooled but borrows stuff from here. Ren also let’s Scar know that Grian feels like he owes Scar a favour or anything because he feels bad that he hit him in the head with a wooden sword.

Scar leaves the class with Jellie and his stuff and takes the bus home, on the way home he can’t help but think about what favour he would owe this guy, or if he’d ever see him again?

he goes home and Cleo asks him about his day, he brushes it off as a normal one, but it really wasn’t. Scar lays on his bed, too tired to change and ends up falling asleep.

(Then there’s a time skip, but that should be saved for a whole different post)

that’s basically like a prologue I guess? Idk, I can turn this into a proper Ao3 chapter, and maybe have a whole fic for this

this whole thing was taken out of my doc, from the section labeled “CHAPTER PLANS” lololol

[fountainpenguin]

"Always hear the same kind of story; break your nose and they'll just say 'Sorry...'" (x)

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Pixels Imperfect series ~ Double Life - Boat Boys

“Canadian Idiot” - 23k words

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Paper Boats [Etho & Joel series]

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

I've been drawing preview images for some of my 'fics that didn't have them yet. Here's a pretty post for a personal favorite!

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Summary: Etho is a fox hybrid who aggros on people who cause him damage. During Double Life, Joel and Etho are soulbound. And Joel causes Etho a lot of damage. The mob-strengthening full moon doesn’t help.

AKA - That one 'fic where Etho bites Joel a bunch of times and Joel stomachs it like the good little soulmate he is.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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Canadian Idiot

"Where is Etho? Why hasn't he come home? I'm SO worried…"

🖤  💛  ❤️

Act 1. Scene 2. Introductions are behind them; the Hero's Journey has begun. They balance on the precipice hand in hand, except they're nowhere near hand in hand because Joel has done nothing wrong and Etho's about to bring him crashing down. With a label like Act 1, Scene 2 melting in your brain, you're practically encouraged to overstep; make mistakes. Isn't that a proper story outline? You start by introducing goals. Then faults. 'Tell me one thing your protagonist does wrong…'

It's Etho, not Joel, who does something wrong. Wrong and immoral and without consent, and he's shaking - he's shaking - as he slips his hand above the milk-white bed sheets. He slightly cranes his neck, lifting just a little from his pillow. He's already squirmed closer to Joel more than he'd admit to anyone outside the Boat. Joel's cradled against him, stomachs and knees and hips flush and ticklish and warm. Joel's hand rests atop the blankets. Atop Etho's chest, pretty much.

And Etho's itchy, pain swelling deep inside. His breath's all clogged in the back of his throat. A problem that Joel doesn't have, because Joel's some kind of insect hybrid and he breathes through the spiracles down his torso… which Etho can feel both on the outside of his legs (because Joel is shirtless under the blankets) and threaded through his own body (because they share every flickery touch, even in the way they breathe).

I wonder if Joel ever gets sick of feeling "my" breath in the back of his mouth. That's gotta be a weird feeling when he doesn't have lungs…

In Act 1, Scene 2, Etho initiates the Rising Action. He lays his own hand on the far side of Joel's. His eyes are glowing - the candles and furnaces are glowing too - and it's warm and rosy and golden brown down in the depths of The Relation. Etho's shaking as he nudges Joel's fingers higher up the blankets, from their random flop (is it random?) across Joel's chest and up to Etho's neck. Conflicting pixels bristle when they come into contact. They tense up, even while Joel stays sleepy and mild-mannered. Etho stares down at those gleaming pixels and watches them re-situate themselves, building up their little barrier so they stay firmly Joel's and his own pixels remain firmly Etho's.

There's unwavering trust in the way Joel lets himself sleep, curled against Etho's side. The pixels in their legs blended together long ago, making mermaids out of them. They don't even itch. They're perfectly melted inside each other, heels and toes overlapping as easily as the edges of their hitboxes do.

Etho can feel the easy flutter of mingled bits and pieces shifting between them, pixels bumping and evaluating their neighbors and occasionally switching back and forth. He's got bits that used to belong to Joel in his ankles, probably. The colors have probably already changed over. You wouldn't even be able to tell. It's nothing. It's normal. Everybody does this. They're sharing a bed. They're sharing hearts and health and pain; exchanging pixels during hitbox overlap isn't nearly as weird.

It's not like I'm anxious and 65 anymore. I've got a couple thousand years in me. I've shared my bed before. This isn't weird.

It's not like this in the singleplayer, though, where he sleeps alone.

And it's not like this on Hermitcraft. Where he sleeps alone.

And it wasn't like this in his wool castle on 3rd Life. Where he slept alone.

And it wasn't like this in Last Life. Bdubs slept on the far side of their shared room, his narcoleptic phantom soul knocking him out cold hours before Etho crept to bed. And slept alone.

Etho squirms, which blurs his foot with Joel's and sends a static ripple up his leg. He stops so it won't seize up in the pit behind his knee. His pixels need a minute to orient again, sluggish in their sleep just like the softly breathing Joel. The air is stuffy inside The Relation's lower room. Etho already pulled his mask off before bed; it lies (rumpled and unfolded) on the crafting table to his left. Though dry, the air is cool against his exposed skin. His tongue traces across the curve of each and every pointed tooth inside his mouth.

I have to.

The closest he'll come to voicing it. He tries to fold his hands away. He grips his own wrist, grinding it in the wrinkles of blankets tucked against his stomach. Candles flicker in the edges of his vision. He stares across the captains' quarters, rotating his hand back and forth, forcing it to press his stomach. To calm some kind of hunger that doesn't stem from there.

He does not personify the aggro instincts creeping up his spine. They don't envelop him in words. Offering words to the thought would mean caving in, admitting its strength and hold against him. Etho stares without blinking at the far wall and twists his wrist in that space between stomach and guts. Tight. Unyielding. Firm.

It's never been this bad on-server before…

It's twisted. It writhes in him, like a snake dropped down his pants, spiraled around his leg, and looped to slither up his spine and wrap around his throat. It's a full-body shiver that leaves him opening and closing his hands, palming his knees through the bed sheets. He has really pointy knees. Etho presses, rubbing his hands up and down and all around in circles, but it doesn't help.

He needs to. This. He needs- he just does. He can curl his legs and writhe and grimace all he wants to, but he can't hold it in forever… like Bdubs can't help but lunge when Etho's pushing at the boundary of long nights with no sleep.

Can't.

He sinks down in the pillows, exhaling, and tugs the white covers of the bed up to his chest again. It shifts Joel's arm. Etho can feel it through the blankets. He can feel the touch of soft, carefully crafted wool on the back of that hand as clearly as his own. Joel's expertise with wool leaves absolutely no question that he thrives on the Empires server, weaving banners on a loom. There's no itchiness to the blankets. They're so soft, they may as well be silk or cream.

This ship feels like a cake, lit by the candles on the wooden shelves. As the wind gusts against the outside of their base, it creaks the boards and Etho shivers, shifting one leg a little tighter between both of Joel's. Pillager grunts carry down the hill. He can hear their distant pacing. The constant loading of crossbow bolts. The way they mutter, bending heads.

Do pillagers ever snuggle with their friends late at night? Maybe not. They're just mobs; maybe they aren't programmed with a sleep schedule. He's never charged inside an outpost to find them startled and fumbling out of bed.

[Cnt'd on AO3 - Link at top]

[sophieeee0105]

One thing I’ve noticed with Etho and his alliances in the life series is that when he’s part of a group, he needs a duo partner to ‘stay tethered’ to that group.

In 3rd life, although he was very much apart of dogwarts the whole time people (aka martyn) kept thinking he was going to betray them because he kinda seemed untethered and lost.

in last life, he was part of BEST and loyal till best till the end because he had a duo partner in bdubs in that series.

in double life, he had his soulmate partner Joel and was completely loyal to him and any other alliances he made during that season.

and now in limited life, he doesn’t really have a specific duo partner in TIES and he’s just kinda wandering around untethered making alliances and enemies will everyone around the server, and while he still is being loyal to TIES, it’s very similar to the way he was with dogwarts than it was to BEST.

tho part of the ‘untethered’ thing in limited life may be fully due to him and bdubs having an ability to be normal with each other, and so he’s spending a lot of time with the clockers, however he went out and made an alliance with Pearl (most likely) not knowing tango and impulse had already done that, he’s managing to keep up his diamond sword boys alliance with grian and is spending quite a bit of time around the bad boys. Like if you watch his ep 5, I swear he spends more time with people of other alliances than his own alliance.

[andyling]

Okay now that I got my Tango rambling out of the way IT’S TIME FOR A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE

Jimmy Solidarity (aka the man sending team rancher fans into a collective breakdown, it’s me I'm team rancher fans)

stealth mission IMMEDIATELY failed

THE FACT THAT TANGO WAS OUT OF RANGE OF THE BOMB AND THEN RAN RIGHT UNDER IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tango congratulating Jimmy on killing him (even though it was Joel) Team Ranchers is still alive guys I swear, NO ANGST HERE IT’S FINE GUYS

Love how Joel is being attacked and Grian is nowhere to be found because he’s too busy hunting down Impulse

jimmy shouting tango’s name and literally jumping towards him as he places tnt counts as a rancher moment 

either he’s stupid or he was confident tango wouldn’t blow him up, it’s probably the former but hey I choose how I interpret this chaos

JIMMY WAS SO CLOSE TO DYING HOLY SHIT 

JIMMY’S FUCKING FACE WHEN MARTYN STARTED ATTACKING ETHO

mans was literally just :O

“what I'm realizing right is that everyone is thirsty” did ya have to phrase it like that??? I can hear the out of context compilations clipping this

Jimmy sounding so shocked that Tango was fighting Martyn as if he didn’t just spend several minutes fending him off from killing Joel

oh uh, the flower husbands are fighting

SCOTT THROWING TANGO UNDER THE BUS BRUUUUUUUH

damn flower husbands enjoyers must be in absolute misery

anyways WOO JIMMY DIDN’T GO AFTER TANGO, GUYS THE RANCHERS ARE FINE WE DON’T NEED TO MAKE ANGST FROM THIS

JIMMY AND MARTYN FIGHTING TO KILL SCOTT AJFSJAKFHDSHJGK

love how Jimmy is not even trying to find Tango he’s just there watching this chaos unfold

“guys he’s not gonna respond” Jimmy you underestimate how dumb your rancher is, there is a reason I call both of you wet cats

WHY IS THERE REDSTONE BLOOD EVERYONE?????

JOEL JUST WENT SPLAT

the way jimmy hunches over closer to his mic when he’s whispering is so funny, he’s trying to hide irl 

ah yes, “the bad boys bread bridge bakery in the sky” my beloved

hey now Jimmy has been trying to protect Joel for half the session don’t kick him out, I mean he failed but at least he was trying

ending the session with robbery, how wonderful

Grain

“looking tasty” aaaaand that’ going into the out of context compilation

JOEL SOUNDS SO DISTRAUGHT THAT HE KILLED CLEO

Grian seems to be extra manic this episode, I'm blaming that on the fact that he missed a session

the entire “definitely” bit is so stupid but I find it so funny

GRIAN WAS TRYING SO HARD TO GET IMPULSE AND ENDED UP DYING INSTEAD AJFHSAJFHDSSFKJSDGF

“normally this is last episode behavior” I mean last session was last episode behavior too I think this season has just made everyone crazy

DUDE GRIAN WAS SO SURE THAT TNT MINECART FAILED AND THEN HE GOT A TRIPLE KILL

HE ALMOST KNOCKED HIMSELF OFF THE PLATFORM IN HIS SHOCK

oh my god the yellow hoard is even funnier from their perspective

the pufferfish plays are insane goddamn

THE TANGO CHASE IS EVEN FUNNIER FROM GRIAN’S POV OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY HOW DID THEY NOT CATCH HIM

THEY JUST KEEP CALLING HIM AND HE RESPONDS FROM WHO KNOWS WHERE IN THE FUNNIEST VOICE

“How about we just kill him for fun now?” SCAR NO

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S A WARDEN NEARBY HELLO?!??!?!

tango just has a 6th sense for wardens now

awwwwww grian’s sharing in order to help skizz (pity totem is still totem)

someone is gonna trap those ender-porters I just know it

THAT WAS SUCH A WASTE OF A TOTEM 

MARTYN INTHELITTLEWOOD EVERYBODY

the mean gills chatting on their little island resort really contrasts how badly the rest of this session is gonna go

WELL DAMN SCOTT SMAJOR

THE FACT THAT MARTYN SAW THE TNT MINECART AND FUCKING BOOKED IT THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION HE WAS SO CLOSE TO DYING

Bdubs running to Etho for protection is hilarious in every POV

the bread bois and team ties have a fast travel to each other . . . we’ll see how that works out (please become allies please please please)

LOVE HOW MARTYN ACKNOWLEDGES THE OUT OF CONTEXT VIDEOS NOW AFJKHSAJKGHDKSGKH

MARTYN ON HIS PSYCHO ARC OH MY FUCKING GOD

MARTYN’S DECISION TO TURN ON ETHO WAS SO QUICK AND IT’S SO OBVIOUS HERE HE JUST LOOPED AROUND AND STABBED HIM

Martyn didn’t even realize Tango was still trying to kill him lmao

THE PUFFERFISH DIED IN THE EXPLOSION OH NO

poor scar stood in the wrong place at the wrong time

Etho trying desperately to get people to leave Tango and Impulse alone

MARTYN WAS SO FAR AWAY HOW DID THAT TNT MINECART KILL HIM HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THE RANGE ON THOSE THINGS?!?!?!

god Martyn is just having an awful time trying to stay alive this session

DUDE THE SCRAMBLE TO SEE WHO WOULD KILL SCOTT FIRST IS WAY MORE INTENSE FROM MARTYN’S POV FUCKING HELL

bruh Martyn really teasing us all with actual lore 

So uh, yeah that session was bonkers SEE Y’ALL NEXT WEEK

[bigb-enthusiast]

3L bigb is so aghhghfhfhh i do remember seeing someone say they wouldn’t recommend his pov to anyone cause it was just mining like yea. Yeah he did do that and yeah he was gone with the “important” session so hush and also consider you can DO stuff with him staying in the MINES. The isolation, the loneliness of the constant dark of being buried underground for your own materials to live that you’ll lose in the end. His interactions also are interesting, martyn Literally calls him a canary then through out the series he is in the mines. Yeah no one talks about it but i do!! His interactions are also so augh owie but augh awwg. Him being frightened by skizz but still telling skizz he’ll protect and shelter him in his home when skizz needs help. And skizz saying hed protect bigb with his life only for skizz to die next session, bigb unable to save him like he promised. Then the session bigb returns skizz is dead so hes also unable to save bigb like HE promised. Also him being forced into dogwarts?? And him being the LAST dogwarts?? HIM DYING BY ARROWS ALL 3 TIMES. HIM TRICKING BDUBS SCAR AND GRIAN INTO SAYING HIS FINAL WORDS BUT ITS REALLY HIM TRYING TO KILL GRIAN BEFORE HES SHOT AND KILLED BY BDUBS. HE KNEW HE WOULDNT WIN BUT HE DIDNT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Then despite him screaming in his final moments he’s then silent. Quiet as ever as others cheer and boo and laugh and chuckle hes silent. Watching, watching the three stand then two stand then the one stand In LL bigb starts off isolated again but gets to talk to others, him and cleo later agreeing to team and then they live together, they gift eachother stuff and care. They team with lizzie then team with ren, bigb cares for cleo more than the other two by far. Even showing hed fight a redlife joel for them if joel tried to hurt them. But then he gets boogey, he doesnt want to hurt his allies he doesnt want them scared so he lies. But then by the end of the session he realizes he has to kill and he killed cleo but apologizing it all hes apologizing for it all and gets their stuff and puts it away and tries to defend himself from jimmy and martyn who are berating him for what he did unknowing of the full story. Later again cleo gets on red and blames and threatens bigb and bigb due to this refuses to sleep and also gets so scared he tries a new identity aka terry he discovers this doesnt work so he gives up that shtick and sees cleo burn fairy fort and he tries to be normal with this stuff, he fails and later its just him and ren after lizzie dies. Lizzie appears and tells bigb he was her downfall and kills him. Him noticing ren didnt even try to help. Bigb later dies again due to a tnt chest and is on red. He is with scar and apologizes and tries to kill ren but suddenly more greens appear and hes killed with an arrow by cleo, he dies and is silent once again watching as martyn and cleo celebrate his death and he ends off that episode there. DL he joins and says how he hopes cleo is his soulmate, he is happy despite what shes and hes done. He also says he hopes jimmys his soulmate. In the mountain he is mining in cleo appears and they try for soulbound and discover its not eachother. Bigb mines more before he decides to look for his soulmate, he asks the frogs to lead him to where they lead him to a cave with joel, scott, etho, and cleo. He tries to see if cleo is his soulmate again and is sad once again tries with scott then tries with ren and discovers it is after miscommunication happens. The two team and build box! Bigb also shows he cares for pearl deeply but is scared of her also with the deaths and all. He slowly becomes more sad seeing ren talk with martyn more and believes ren will abandon him for martyn, thats why he agrees to the secret soulmate thing. He just believes ren would leave him. This also fails as grian leaves him too and ren finds out and kicks him out of box. But bigb dies again and bigb wants revenge but before that he talks with ren but immediately ren goes to martyn as he tries to explain everything When ren returns he explains the revenge

[lemon-bread-slice]

IT IS NOW SECRET LIFE BRAINROTTING HOURS BEEN AVOIDING THIS PLACE FOR SPOILEYS BUT ITS GO TIME THIS INCLUDES A THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYONE <3

- i'm so noramal about gem and the scotts they seem pretty set as a hillarious team and they progressed so much tech tree wise - what the hell is going on with tango skizz cleo and etho i'm- they?? i'm the most normal about them actually. i've decided. - too many bigb thoughts to share i love his ep to bits - poor poor martyn he truly got nerfed - boatem nostalgia + bdubs, my favourite group (but actually pearls got puppers everyone run, and mumbo is just so freaking funny, bdubs with his 2nd upside down house) - grian scar and jimmy are all concerningly close (aka within 200 blocks) i am scared - joel is actually just a question mark with brown and green hair in my brain - lizzie is a poet AND an estate agent??? and an arsonist soon lmao

so so many other thoughts i can't words rn

[sleepynenes]

Tell me about the AU 🔫

HI WOW SO GLAD YOU ASKED

[claps hands] SPACE AU! title pending so i call it that for now but it follows the crew of a ship called the SW4G0N, aka grian, scar, pearl, mumbo and cub!

• the crew started as just grian and scar, two former classmates who studied together at a spacing academy and graduated together and did odd jobs on a smaller little spaceship called the P4RR0T! and then through. a complicated series of events they end up on the base of one Herr Doc Monster, sort of the head of a galactic corporation sort of thing (details pending), and. they blow up some important stuff of his. and he’s really pissed off and ends up blowing up the P4RR0T and now there is a massive bounty on their heads from doc and they acquire their second ship, the SW4G0N (the name is a whole story in and of itself)

• next up is pearl! a personal fav of mine, she’s psychic and a fishy alien who can be out of water but just needs to stay hydrated, i still havent figured out how the crew pick her up but she’s the third member that joins and she’s one of the many things keeping the crew together, using her psychic abilities to her aid she’s probably the most powerful crew member but she’s just so sweet and trying her best

• the three of them go to vegas and pick up mumbo! a droid who realizes hey. he doesnt have to listen to commands or wait for someone to tell him what to do! he can do what he wants! and he’s kinda bumbling but he’s trying his best and basically has heelies for feet he’s really lovely

and finally. cub

• cub’s a brain slug in a body of a scientist (also cub) but like. original cub was kind of an asshole and kind of wanted because he worked for an organization and maybe he ran away with some secrets but brain slug cub is Entirely unaware and is experiencing pretty much everything for the first time and trying so hard to act like a normal human. the crew finds out pretty quickly (he becomes besties w pearl due to psychic communication being easier at first while he was learning how to really Speak) but he’s really just. he’s trying his best ya know?

there’s many other characters too! and the crew accumulates SO many bounties on their heads and so many people are after them, including and not limited to: doc, ren false and gem (all mercenaries hired by him), wels and hels (space vampires they managed to piss off), team zit (they accidentally scammed them), bdubs and etho (bdubs is like a space priest and once again. they manage to piss them off) and more to come!

there’s a lot more details and specifics to go into but ill only rlly go into those if people have like. specific questions andkfnfk and that’s the au for now!

[hermitcrossovers]

For the mezalea tattoos au!!

Bdubs is a florist and good friend of Ethos, actually Etho buys alot of flowers off of bdubs to decorate the shop!! Bdubs and Etho also go horseback riding together sometimes, though they haven't been able to recently due to both of them being busy with they're shops

Joel and Etho actually also prank grian and Jimmy by drawing some "tattoos" on Joel's arm or somewhere that easily seen with non-toxic markers, normally it's actually something that Grian has tried bribing Joel to get tattooed in the past. Each time they do this, grian thinks he finally got Joel to get a tattoo and will brag to Jimmy about it before seeing Joel wipping off the "tattoo" right where Grian can see him with a smirk on his face lol

Joel has actually gotten close to caving to getting a second tattoo once, and it was because Jimmy wanted to get super small tattoos that reference the their characters in one of the dnd campaigns they are apart of (aka empires S2 red) but Joel ended up refusing because he knew Etho wouldn't be able to do the tattoo due to Etho getting sick and Joel wasn't about to let anyone else tattoo him

After the double life campaign, Jimmy and Tango actually ended up getting matching small goat horns tattooed onto their non dominant wrist! (Jimmy may have also gotten a small blue fire tattoo on his collarbone as well and Tango might have gotten a flying canary tattooed onto his shoulder as well)

(honestly kinda tempted to go by mezalea anon lmao)

bdubs and scar own a few acres of land together out in the countryside, covered in rows of greenhouses for flowers, shrubs, succulents, and other greenery. (scar accidently overwatered bdubb's prized plant, mi amor, which erupted into a giant feud that has a current death count of 3.)

joel eventually does get a second tattoo for the limited life campaign, not revealing till weeks later; after grian got a tattoo for the same campaign. grian's face fell so quick when he realized that he missed out on the chance to match with joel and jimmy.