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carriesthewind · 2 years

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The IA's "Open Library" is Not a Library, Yesterday's Lower Court Decision does Not "Hurt Authors," and the Planned Appeal Is (Almost Certainly) NOT a Good Way to Try to Change Bad Law (In Fact, It's More Likely to Make Bad Law Worse)

Ok, so a day later, I'm still mad about this. If anything, I'm even madder. I'm going to write this as a response to the Internet Archive's "The Fight Continues" blogpost, but before we begin, let's get some facts straight:

Copyright law in the United States, especially the law around digital lending, currently sucks. It's really really bad, and anyone with a stake in the game - except the big publishers and e-book services that profit from it - hate it.

That said, copyright law exists as a thing. As I said in a previous post, you *can* try to change it through court cases, but there are certain things you cannot change. And there are certain things you can try to change, but it will be an uphill battle to change them in a positive direction. And notably, as bad as digital lending law is in the U.S., it still could always get worse! And one general rule of impact litigation: if you are trying to change the law, you want to make sure you have the best possible facts. Because the worse your facts are, the worse your case is likely to go.

Yesterday's district court ruling DID NOT CHANGE ANY SUBSTANTIVE COPYRIGHT LAW IN THE U.S. I cannot emphasize that enough. Regardless of whatever you think of the ruling, it was applying already existing law to the facts.

This is because the Internet Archive's "Open Library" absolutely violates existing copyright law. It just does! They broke the law, they had plenty of notice they were breaking the law and harming authors (more on that below) and just think the law shouldn't apply because they don't like it.

The Internet Archive's "Open Library" is not a library. Some big ways it differs:

While it pretends to have a one-to-one owned-to-loaned ratio, as the opinion granting the publisher's motion for summary judgement notes, IA concedes that it allows "partner libraries" to add books to its collection and then doesn't check (and has no way of checking) if the book is out of circulation at the "partner library" at the same time it's being "checked out" of the Open Library. In other words, it's like if you took a book, scanned the pages, and then gave the scans to your friend who then loaned the scans out to other people but totally promised they were only lending the scans to one person at a time so it's basically like there is still just one copy! And meanwhile you still own, are reading, and lending out the physical copy of the book. Except instead of one book, they were doing this on a massive scale. NO, THAT'S JUST THEFT.*

Speaking of which, the "Open Library" didn't keep that promise! Their "Emergency Library" just let everyone borrow as many copies at a time as they could! Again, THAT'S JUST THEFT.

Like I'm sorry if you don't like the idea of copyright at all: right now, we live in a capitalist system where authors need to be paid for their work in order to, like, not die. If you take their work, scan it into your computer, and give it away for free to anyone and everyone, THAT'S JUST THEFT.

Also, most authors love libraries! Libraries allow more people to access their books while not substantially impacting their revenue and not impacting their rights! AUTHORS - not just publishers, authors - DO NOT LIKE AI'S "OPEN LIBRARY." Why haven't authors sued to stop this before, why is this the publishers suing? From the above letter: "Even simple copyright lawsuits must be brought in federal court, and often cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. A challenge to the Internet Archive could easily cost millions." Publishers have deep pockets that authors and authors' groups don't. Also, authors who object to AI stealing their work are frequently subject to harassment.

If IA won this case, the new law that would be made is this: it would be legal to steal an author's works.

*I'm using "theft" and "steal" instead of "piracy" throughout this write-up to make it clear what this is. "Pirating books" is just stealing them.

So to sum up the facts above: copyright law in the U.S. sucks, but it exists. Attempting to change it for the better through the court system would be very difficult. Even then, changing the law for the better would likely require a case with good facts. Unfortunately, the law could also change for the worse. Yesterday's ruling did not change any law. The facts in this case are very bad, because the IA absolutely violated copyright law. That is in part because the IA's "Open Library" is not a library; they just steal books. Many (if not most) authors and author's groups don't like that IA is stealing from them. If IA won this case, that victory would mean that anyone was allowed to steal an author's works.

*deep breath*

Ok, let's turn to the IA's statement, "The Fight Continues":

"Today’s lower court decision in Hachette v. Internet Archive is a blow to all libraries and the communities we serve."

The Internet Archive is not a library.

No it's not. It is a blow to the Internet Archive, specifically, because you broke the law and it ruled you broke the law. As stated above, it does not change anything with regard to copyright, including digital copyright, law in the U.S., and therefore does not impact libraries or the communities they serve. If you appeal this ruling, as you have stated you intend to, and the law does change for the worse (which is always a risk of appeal, and a risk that gets worse when you have bad facts), THEN libraries might be affected.

"This decision impacts libraries across the US who rely on controlled digital lending to connect their patrons with books online."

I mean yes, in the sense that "controlled digital lending" isn't normal e-book lending. It's the thing you made up where you steal books and illegally redistribute them.

This genuinely sucks for libraries and communities that don't have other ways of accessing digital books because the current copyright scheme sucks so bad! Real libraries are doing things to try to help, and not just steal from authors! More on that below!

"It hurts authors by saying that unfair licensing models are the only way their books can be read online."

OH GO FUCK YOURSELVES

Ok this line, this line right here? That is honestly why I wrote this whole thing.

How DARE you cloak your theft in the real struggles authors face with unfair licensing models. How DARE you pretend you are on the side of authors when you are stealing their works, and they have made it quite clear that they would like you to stop, please. And how DARE you frame it in this "for exposure" bullcrap that ignores the real struggles that authors have to eat, to get healthcare, to get any sort of fair pay and wages for their work, and instead pretend that all authors should care about is whether or not their books can be read online.

And bluntly? If you - not IA, YOU, tumblr user reading this - if you shared this bullcrap statement and told people to donate money to the IA because of this? If you told people they should steal more books in response (because it's the publishers fault, ignore the real authors who are actually harmed)? How DARE you. How DARE you pretend to be on the side of authors and writers.

"And it holds back access to information in the digital age, harming all readers, everywhere."

Except for those readers who are also authors, and need to eat.

And readers who want to read books that will never get written if authors can't write (because they need to eat).

And also, no it doesn't, because it doesn't change the law. It just applies the law that already exists to you. Because you are not above the law.

"But it’s not over—we will keep fighting for the traditional right of libraries to own, lend, and preserve books."

You are not a library.

You were not (and are not) fighting for "the traditional right of libraries." Plenty of other organizations are fighting against bad copyright law in the U.S. This court case, however, was literally just about you stealing books.

Like I cannot emphasize enough that you were just stealing and you got caught.

"We will be appealing the judgment and encourage everyone to come together as a community to support libraries against this attack by corporate publishers."

You aren't a library.

Fuck you for borrowing the (justified) hatred of corporate publishers to paper over your bad actions.

Does "coming together as a community to support libraries against this attack" mean giving you money, as suggested by the calls to action at the bottom of this page? Because you aren't a library.

"We will continue our work as a library."

You aren't a library.

"This case does not challenge many of the services we provide with digitized books including interlibrary loan, citation linking, access for the print-disabled, text and data mining, purchasing ebooks, and ongoing donation and preservation of books."

First, and most important: these are all uncritically good and important things that the IA does! Despite the rest of this post, I am really really glad the IA exists, that it is doing these things, and I hope that it will continue to do this things!

You are correct that this case does not challenge those services! Because those services aren't just stealing books from authors, which is what you were doing, which is what this case is actually about!

I'm skipping the statement from Brewster Kahle because it's just more of the same. The statement then invites you to Take Action! by donating to IA and positing themselves as standing up for libraries! (They are not a library.)

But real libraries and librarians are actually fighting the good fight over lack of access to materials, especially digital materials and bad laws, and you can support them!

If you actually do want to "come together as a community to support libraries," and support digital access, may I suggest instead donating to The Brooklyn Public Library's Books Unbanned program?:

https://www.bklynlibrary.org/books-unbanned

While they aren't directly challenging bad copyright law, they are directly fighting back against laws that are much more actively and materially impact people's access to books, including providing free e-book and database access to everyone in the U.S. age 13-21. It's a great and important program, and your donations can really help!

#libraries #author's rights #internet archive

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katelynnwrites · 3 months

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I'll Love You ('Til The Day That I Die) | Laura Freigang

warnings: not proofread in the slightest

word count: 1430

summary: oranges play a very special part in your relationship with laura

a/n: struggled to complete this so badly so i apologise if this isn't as good as it could be...also here's a moodboard

There’s a little tattoo on your arm, of an orange slice.

Really, it is such a curious thing that everyone you meet seems to ask you about it. You’ve lost count of the number of times you glance at it and smile before answering, ‘It’s for Laura.’

Laura who is your girlfriend and has been since she initially shared an orange with you. It was why she even shared the fruit with you in the first place.

The blonde had been your best friend long before the both of you made the decision to see where your mutual feelings of wanting more than friendship would lead.

Oranges are her favourite fruit and as she lays with her head in your lap, she peels the one she had been carrying in her bag.

Very carefully, she sections it perfectly in half and holds it out.

‘For you. I hope that you’ll always be the person I share my orange with.’

You take it gently, the look on your face being nothing short of complete adoration and whisper, ‘Danke.’

Then you kiss her for the first time and she tastes like oranges.

It’s how it goes for a while, Laura giving you half of her favourite fruit and you thanking her with a kiss.

Between all that, you go on dates together, learn that the feel of the striker’s hand in yours is quickly becoming one of your favourite things and fall quicker and harder for your girlfriend than you ever thought possible.

The latter is particularly on your mind as Laura once again peels an orange and holds it out to you.

Your heart skips a beat just as it does every time she does so and you softly say, ‘Thank you schatz.’

Leaning in, you press a kiss onto your girlfriend’s cheek and then her lips, leaving her blushing a pretty shade of pink when you pull back.

She looks so cute and you just have so many emotions for her.

The strongest of which is what compels you to take a piece of orange peel that the blonde has discarded.

‘What are you doing?’ Laura murmurs.

You simply give her another kiss that means be patient and she gives an adorable huff as she does so.

The forward’s Penn State dorm room has a desk and you go over to it and take the pair of scissors she has there and cut away at it until you’re satisfied.

Turning back to your girlfriend, you carefully hold it out to her, ‘For you. In return for all the oranges you have shared with me.’

Laura takes the tiny orange peel heart you have made and she knows immediately that the smile her brother teases her so often about, is on her face. The one that she apparently only reserves for you.

‘Thank you.’ She starts but you add something else that has her breath hitching.

‘And for everything else. I love you Lau.’

Your girlfriend exhales slowly, carefully tucking your orange peel heart into the pocket of her sweatpants before she gently cradles your face in her hands.

‘I love you too. So much.’ She whispers and doesn’t let you react at all before letting her lips meet yours in the sweetest kiss of your life.

The blonde takes her time, savouring the way this kiss means so much more than all the other kisses you have ever shared together.

It tastes of oranges and promises of a future together.

Oranges are a constant in your relationship, with your favourite person peeling them and sharing it with you, even when the two of you move to Frankfurt.

No one else is allowed this privilege and once the rest of your Eintracht Frankfurt teammates get wind of it, tease Laura relentlessly by asking her to share her orange whenever they see her peeling one.

‘Not even one slice?’ Gery often says.

Each time, the blonde does not deign to answer, choosing to pass you your half and shoot the Swiss woman a dirty look instead.

Sometimes you grin mischievously at the German woman and pretend to share your half.

‘No. No. That’s for you. Just you.’ Laura would insist.

Soft giggles would escape you as you look at how wide and pleading your girlfriend’s pretty eyes would get.

‘Don’t worry schatz. I’m only kidding.’ You’d murmur against her lips.

It’s easy after that for your girlfriend to blush and huff, ‘I knew that.’

Despite how easy it is to rile the blonde up, she’s completely sure in the knowledge that you love her more than anything.

You had never let her doubt it, especially once you got your orange slice tattoo.

Laura had worried over it far more than you had. All you were thinking about was where you would want it done while your girlfriend had agonised over everything else.

‘What if you decide you hate it?’ She anxiously asks.

‘I won’t.’ You promise.

‘What if it gets infected?’ The striker even more anxiously asks.

You glance at the various tattoos she’s sporting on her own arms and raise an eyebrow.

Laura relents at that but to make her feel better all the same, you tell her, ‘I’ll take good care of it and follow all the aftercare steps. You can help me if you’d like?’

The German woman bites her lip and quietly murmurs, ‘What if we break up? Not that I want to but what if you do and you have an orange slice tattoo on your body forever?’

‘Schatz…’

You take her hands in yours and ask, ‘Do you think you and I will stop loving each other tomorrow?’

Your girlfriend gasps, ‘Not a chance!’

‘Okay good, do you think that we will stop loving each other next week?’

The blonde tries but fails not to look horrified and you take that as her answer, with a faint chuckle.

‘Do you think we will stop loving each other next month?’

Laura’s expression only grows more alarmed and it is unmistakable in her voice, ‘No. There is no possible way that I will stop loving you then.’

With a gentle squeeze to your favourite forward’s hand, you say, ‘Okay. What about in a year’s time? Will we stop loving each other then?’

The German woman shakes her head, her previous emotions changing to determination.

‘Not if I have anything to say about it. I love you. I will love you tomorrow and next week and next month and next year and even for years after that. I’m going to love you forever because you’re the love of my life.’

Laura’s completely out of breath by the end of it, her cheeks have turned an adorable shade of red.

You kiss her as ardently as you can before murmuring, ‘And that’s exactly how I feel about you schatz so I know I won’t regret it.’

The blonde wraps her arms around you tightly, burying her face into your hair so her voice is muffled when she says, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too. That’s why I’m going to get a permanent reminder of it on my arm. So that everyone can see it.’

Laura makes a little touched noise, squeezing you against her harder.

Warmth bubbles up in your chest as she does so, the same kind of warmth that continues to form weeks and even years after your tattoo has healed.

It comes whenever you get to talk about your tattoo.

And one night, after Laura’s finally proposed to you, you reveal another reason why you got the tattoo when you happen to glance at her bedside table.

There is a small glass jar that sits there, containing all the orange peel hearts you have ever given her.

Since the first time you told her you love her, you have always given her one in return, whenever she shares half of an orange with you.

Years have passed since that night and the blonde’s collection of dried orange peel hearts has grown. She has kept each and every one of them, enough so that her jar is almost full.

Looking back at the German striker, you snuggle closer to her and admit that you got your tattoo on a prominent place on your arm, just so that people would ask and you would be able to talk about it.

Talk about why you got it, how much you love Laura and how much she loves you.

Your love story is your favourite thing to talk about and your little orange slice tattoo gives you a reason to.

German Translations:

danke - thank you

schatz - sweetheart

#laura freigang #laura freigang x reader #laura freigang imagine #woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso imagine #katelynnwrites

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kuromori4 · 8 days

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New Theory-

London special- Adrien made the wish and here’s why:

**edited to add new discoveries!

I was not expecting the full trailers to drop so soon after my speculation post!! I’ve been poring over them and screenshotting and theorizing the HELL out of them!

(On that note, this theory post will be LONG! But I have a lot of great theories!)

My Original theory was that somehow Adrien discovered the truth about everything. That his girlfriend is Ladybug, that everyone has been lying to him, his father was Monarch, that he’s a Sentimonster, and indirectly the cause of BOTH of his own parents deaths.

He learns that all of this pain and suffering was caused simply so that he could exist. So Adrien decides the world would be better off if his parents had never created him. If Adrien is never born, his Mother never dies. His father doesn’t become the villain and doesn’t die either. Nathalie never gets sick, Master Fu never loses his memories, and Marinette never has the burden of being Ladybug and Guardian placed on her shoulders. (Effectively causing the 'End of Ladybug!') Nobody suffers, nobody dies.

So Adrien decides the only thing that can end all of the suffering his existence has caused, is the wish. Ladybug often says that any wish made would have to serve the greater good. Would Adrien not see removing himself from the timeline as a sacrifice for the greater good?

With the new trailers released, I really think my theory is even more possible! But with more info, some things need to be rearranged. I’ll be looking at clips from both the English trailer and French/Disney channel trailer that dropped.

Let’s break it down!

Bug Noire faces the aftermath

The trailers show a few interesting details throughout what we can assume is the aftermath of the final battle. We see BugNoire Cataclysm the Kwami prison, BugNoire in the basement, Marinette looking at Emilie’s empty coffin/chamber, some shots of Gabe from the final battle, speaking to Gimme, and Monarch losing his Miraculous.

I can’t be sure where in the timeline this hug with Nathalie occurs, but I'll mention it now. It’s not the only time we’ve seen them hug… the image in the bottom right is from the previous teaser video.

So Bug Noire and Nathalie hug in the ruined basement, then later, Marinette runs into her arms? So… does Nathalie know Marinette’s identity now??

And of course Nathalie has no robot legs, so we have clear confirmation that she’s been cured. (Not that we had any doubt.)

Bug Noire flies to London to free Adrien and give him the bad news

In both trailers we see shots of BugNoire flying through both Paris, and London.

Then we see BugNoire in Adrien’s white cell, obviously giving him the bad news that his Father is dead. Note that Gorilla is here, (and upset!)

Kagami is obviously there because she was also held prisoner, but her expression here is very interesting. Kagami gives some serious side eye. If BugNoire is lying to Adrien about the circumstances of his father’s death, Kagami would know. She knows Ladybug is Marinette, and that Gabriel was Monarch. She may be unhappy with BugNoire’s decision to lie to Adrien. She’s clearly being quiet about it, not opposing her lie. But she’s not happy.

Then we see BugNoire try to comfort him, and it’s strained. (I threw in the shot of Kagami comforting him, because I also find it interesting)

LB gives an announcement about Monarch’s defeat

In the French trailer, we hear LB’s voice saying (Translated) “It's time to bring the truth to light” and she appears to be giving a speech, likely concerning Monarch’s defeat. And she looks PISSED. Possibly because she has to lie about Monarch. (We hear Gabe’s voice in the trailer asking her to “make sure Adrien never knows the villain that I was”)

Marinette puts away the earrings

We see Marinette putting the Earrings back in their box, closing it, and putting it in her vanity drawer. This is also interesting to me because later on, we’ll see that she’s wearing them when they get stolen.

So why put them away? Perhaps she thinks her job is done, it’s over? Time to retire? Maybe she needs a mental health break? (Who wouldn’t?) Maybe she feels guilty for all that happened and thinks she doesn’t deserve to be Ladybug any more?

***Edit to add!: Someone brought it to my attention that these shots appear to be frame for frame, the same as Origins pt 1, when Marinette puts the earrings in the drawer with the intention of giving them to Alya the next day. Later in this theory I show Bunnyx dropping Marinette into her bedroom right in front of the vanity. It's quite possible that (current) Marinette is going to borrow the earrings from her past self to become Chronobug!!

LB and CN hug

Not sure when this will take place chronologically either, but let's get it out of the way. Look at this hug. It isn't just a hug.

it's a squeeze. They hold each other TIGHT. There seems to be some level of comforting, or relief, or upset there. There is certainly emotion in it.

However, I can’t be sure, but It looks to me like Chat is smiling? So it may not be a sad moment? And if he had just found out his dad's dead as Adrien... I don’t think he'd look happy.

Maybe it's the first time they see each other after the final battle? It could be an ‘I missed you’ squeeze. Ladybug never thought she would have to face Monarch without him. I’m sure she was concerned for Chat when Plagg showed up on his own. It could also be Chat comforting her over everything she went through alone. (Or vice-versa?)

Or maybe they’re saying goodbye? With Monarch defeated, maybe they consider hanging up their masks? (Which might explain Mari putting the earrings away?)

The real question is what does Chat/Adrien know or think he knows at this point?

Marinette tries to sleep

We see Marinette, after everything, trying to get some sleep. The poor girl has huge awful bags under her eyes, so it’s clear she hasn’t rested, and likely has been crying. She’s clearly distraught over this.

Some things to note about these shots: She’s wearing the earrings AND Chat’s ring to bed. (The cat Miraculous is rose gold when disguised for Marinette.) This means she either never sent Chat back his Miraculous, or they’ve already decided to retire from being Superheroes and she’s ‘taken’ it back.

Tikki and Plagg are on the bed with her, and all of the Kwamis are home and sleeping around the room.

Ghost Guy is Adrien?

Ok so here’s where it gets really interesting: This guy shows up. I’m calling him ‘Ghost guy’

I believe Ghost guy is Adrien. There is also potential for him to be Felix, and I’m totally open to that possibility, but for now, I’m focusing on my theories for Adrien. (I do address Felix speculations at the end!)

So we see Ghost guy’s head pop up through the bed beside Tikki and Plagg. They are sleeping on top of Marinette’s blanket, right beside her. This guy is uncomfortably close to them.

Then we see him walking through her room, glancing behind him over his shoulder to look at Marinette, asleep in her loft bed.

(We’ll get to the last shot in a minute) Then we see his ghostly hand going through what appears to be either Marinette’s sewing box, or the vanity drawer.

In the French trailer, we see him more clearly, possibly hovering over her, and he’s putting the re-configured Miraculous rings on his fingers. Then we see his hand plucking the earring off her ear. (pictured above) Since Marinette was also wearing Chat’s ring, he must have taken that as well.

Moving forward we are going to assume that this is Adrien, that he knows everything, and plans to use the Miraculous to wish himself out of existence. Here’s why I think it’s him:

Starting with body language:

He seems to have some level of comfort with his proximity to Marinette and the Kwamis. He’s moving slowly. He’s not in a rush, he’s not being particularly sneaky, and you can tell it's quiet. It's like he's wandering around her room, observing. Even the way he slowly drags his hand through the drawer/sewing box. I feel like there’s almost a familiarity there. Somehow, that seems personal. You could even say based on body language that he seems sad, or wistful? It could even be guilt, reluctance, longing or regret?

If this is Adrien, he could feel guilty about what he’s about to do, or debating if he should go through with it. He could be in awe/shock at seeing the evidence of his girlfriend being Ladybug right in front of his eyes. And look at the way he looks up at Marinette’s bed?? It’s not full of hatred, or malice. His shoulders are relaxed, his arms/hands at his side. You’d think if this was Lila or someone who wanted to hurt her that they would have tense or angry body language?

Whoever this is, he doesn’t seem to have interest in hurting her. He takes the earrings without waking her up, he doesn’t attack her. In fact, across both trailers, we don’t get a single shot where LB is fighting or confronting him in any way. (She does fight Clock dude, but we’ll get to that!)

But if Adrien only needs the Bug and Cat Miraculouses to make the wish, why does he take the Monarch rings? So that Marinette can't stop him! If he leaves the other Miraculous with her, He knows she’ll try to stop him. She’s Ladybug. Of course she’d find a way! Even if she doesn’t know it’s him. And if for some reason she did figure out it was him and what he was trying to do, he KNOWS she'd stop him. This leaves her powerless and ensures he completes his mission.

Appearance:

Whether or not Ghost guy is Adrien, I do believe he’s a he. (Or at the least, male presenting)

Sure, he’s skinny. But he has fairly broad shoulders, flat chest, thicker thighs, Masculine hands, and slightly squared-out body features.

Now look at the features of his suit- The shapes and patterns are familiar. The symbol on Ghost guy’s chest may look like an owl, but it also has a distinct shape that can be seen on Aspik’s, Snake Noir’s, and even Mister Bug’s suit. The helmet head is to hide his hair, with the pointy hood at the back being similar to Ephemeral’s, as is the glowing suit, which is also seen on Rabbit Noir’s suit. (And Astrocat’s, which also shares similarities in the helmet shape!)

Most significantly, the shoulder armor. It’s a consistent feature in most of Adrien’s personas. Some kind of shoulder armor/design or feature is prominent on Chat Noir, Astrocat, Mister Bug, Aspik, and even to a certain extent, Catwalker’s. Even the V shaped forehead/brow design is seen multiple times. (Aspik, Snake Noir, Ephemeral)

And finally- The hand- look at the hand that phases through. Look at them long fingies! The small wrist and wide palm. It totally looks like Adrien's hand. Or at the very least, a masculine hand. (I added pics of Adrien’s hands further down)

Powers:

Obviously this guy’s powers include phasing like a ghost, both through things, as well as in and out of visibility. If Adrien is trying to un-wish himself, I think his ghostliness could be symbolic here too.

I also don’t think Ghost guy is time travelling. He doesn’t seem to have time travel powers, and he seems to be only active at the beginning/setup, to steal the Miraculouses. He doesn’t appear to be involved afterward.

His appearance in Lila’s Lair (The catacombs)

Ghost guy is also seen in Lila’s lair, (shown above) phasing into the floor. In this scene he doesn’t touch/interact with anything. He seems to just be observing again. He doesn’t take the notebook that’s on the table in front of him (A notebook that everyone seems to be fighting over, see below) He's just there, and then phases away. If this is Adrien, what is he doing here in Lila's lair? Also, the open boxes on the table are noteworthy.

Marinette wakes up, Bunnyx grabs her

So the next morning, Marinette discovers the Miraculouses gone.Then Bunnyx grabs her and drags her into the Burrow. She has no Miraculous, so she stays Marinette, and at some point acquires a yellow vest. We see Mari and Bunnyx being shocked over time portals disappearing. Then it looks like Bunnyx deposits Mari back in her bedroom. (Though I have to wonder if this is her same bedroom? Or another timeline/universe? The synopsis does mention Bunnyx sending her back in time.)

Bunnyx helps someone up?

This one is VERY interesting to me. Who is she helping up? Who’s hands are these? I think most would assume that since we know Marinette ends up in the Burrow, that this must be Marinette. But Bunnyx grabbed her from behind, by the arms. Sure, Marinette is clumsy and could have fallen. But why the first person point of view? And why did this scene flash so damn fast it was almost impossible to spot?

I’m going to go crazy about hands again, but these look like Adrien’s hands too! The skin tone, the wide palms! Below, I purposely selected pics with both Adrien and Marinette’s hands in them for comparison. You can also compare them to Ghost Guy’s hand in the drawer!

We always go on about how Luka is the only one who knows Adrien's identity, but… does Bunnyx? (And if she does, is it the present or future Bunnyx who does? We are consistently seeing young Bunnyx in these trailers.) Adrien/Chat has also used the Rabbit Miraculous before. He’s been in control of the Burrow before.

Clock dude

Ok, on a completely opposite note, I am convinced that Clock dude is a woman! I also think that it’s Lila. Here’s why:

The only visual confirmation we get that Lila is involved at all is her face on one of the promo posters, and the scenes that show her lair in the catacombs.

But we do get this one shot of a slender, feminine hand (With a super wonky thumb, lol) holding the notebook. I assume this is Lila’s hand. Although we have a sleeve/cuff similar to Mari’s, it’s missing pink polka dots and the skintone is off for Mari, who is rather pinkish. Plus, this is Lila’s lair. It makes sense that it could be her.

Now let’s look at Clock dude.

Clock dude looks awfully slender. The thighs, wrists, arms and shoulders are all very slim, long, and feminine. Look at those long skinny legs! Sure, Chat Noir has long skinny legs, but they are thicker than this. In fact his legs are quite curvy, being thicker at the calf and thigh.

Now look at the vest/chest armor type thing they are wearing. This part looks like it could be there purposely to conceal breasts. The boots even look like they could have heels!

Power-wise, it’s pretty clear that Clock dude has time-jumping abilities. They seem to interact with something on their wrist before poofing out. (Potentially to another time?) They also seem to be holding the notebook in their hand.

It should also be noted that Clock dude appears to play the role of villain. We see multiple shots where it’s implied that Ladybug (Or in this case, Chronobug?) is fighting them.

Lila’s blue light from S5

So Clock dude has a very telling blue glow. Much like the blue light Lila sees at the end of Season 5. (Ghost guy also glows blue, so that’s another possibility.)

The blue light from S5 could be Clock dude’s time portal opening up. Clock dude could be their own person, OR, it could be Lila’s future self! This might explain her reaction to the portal as well. I’d imagine seeing your future self might be pretty shocking. It's possible that Clock guy jumps to this time to start Lila on her path.It could also explain some other things. Like how did Lila get down to the basement during the final battle? She was on the floor above them. The elevator was broken. How did she get the Butterfly Miraculous from the basement water before BugNoire, without being seen?

If she’s Clock dude and is jumping all over time, She could have easily gone to the basement, collected the Butterfly Miraculous, then gave it to another version of herself. (Or some other such time travel paradox bullshit!)

Especially since we see the Clock dude in the garden watching Nathalie and BugNoire after the battle. We know that Lila must have been present at that point to retrieve the Butterfly, right? But who’s visibly present? Bug Noire, Nathalie, and Clock dude. After all, we never see Lila herself retrieve the Butterfly from the water.

The notebook

This notebook is ALL over the trailers- everything seems to revolve around it. We know that the notebook contains the note claiming that Marinette is Ladybug. We see what I assume is Chronobug’s hands holding the notebook open to the offending page, and it appears that she is in the burrow. (White background with a portal visible in the bottom left corner)

You see Clock guy holding it before they disappear in the basement (See above)

We see (Possibly Lila) holding it in her Lair. (Complete with mysterious jewellery boxes?)

You can see Clock dude’s arm holding it in Lila’s Lair. (There are no jewellery boxes in this shot. Also if Clock dude is Lila, then it’s her hand both times.)

There’s a shot of Clock dude jumping for it, in front of one of Bunnyx’s (Maybe Chronobug’s?) portals. And interestingly, they appear to be in the white cell/prison that Adrien was held in!

Then we see Chronobug’s hand grab it off the floor of the white cell from a portal. And finally, we see it in front of Ghost guy when he phases through Lila’s Lair. (And again, he doesn’t touch it.)

Perhaps Lila may be trying to plant the book where Adrien can find it. Maybe she is trying to set off a series of events for Adrien to get him to attempt the wish? It’s also possible that she’s doing all of this to hurt Marinette, and didn’t anticipate what Adrien would do with that information?

If Lila has proof of Marinette’s identity in that book, then we can assume she wants to use thaat information to ruin her life. How could Lila best use Marinette’s identity against her? Sure, the world can't know who Ladybug is. But Lila already knows.Felix knows. Kagami and Luka do too. And now possibly Nathalie? Really, a bunch of people already know. The biggest threat was Monarch, and now he’s gone. Tomoe could be a threat, with the potential of carrying on with Gabriel’s plans, but she seems completely absent from this so far.

So who is the most dangerous person that Lila could give that information to? Who’s story ends very badly every time he finds out Marinette’s identity? That’s right. Adrien.

We know Lila’s has a vendetta against Mari/Ladybug. Hitting her where it hurts most (Right in the boyfriend) by planting the book where Adrien can find it, could be her main goal here. Destroying Marinette in the most painful way possible. Through the boy she loves. And if this info causes Adrien to realize the truth about everything, it could set him on a path of trying to make the wish to undo the damage his existence has caused.

So I did mention earlier there’s a chance that Ghost guy could be Felix. There ARE similarities that you could consider. He does look exactly like Adrien after all, same body type, shape, hands, etc.

Felix’s involvement?

Outfit:

When Felix became Flairmidable, he also had shoulder armor. However, I want to point out that he was pretending to be Adrien then. It stands to reason that the Flairmidable outfit is less about what Felix would wear, and more about what he thought Adrien would wear.

Then we have Ghost guy’s hood. Yes, Felix wears a hood as Argos. I’d still argue that the hood looks much more like Aspik’s headgear in style and shape. Then from the scene where Ghost guy is standing in Lila’s lair, we can sort of make out his back, and it looks like he might have a slight set of tails on the back of his outfit, which is slightly reminiscent of Felix’s argos costume. I’ve seen it mentioned by other theorists. (I got this pic off someone’s Tumblr, hope it’s ok) There’s also the pose, a shot from the back where his hands are at his sides with fists clenched.

However, based on pose alone it could be anyone. Chat Noir and Viperion have been seen in the exact same pose. And those interesting details that I pointed out previously for shape and style in Adrien’s other personas don’t apply to Felix. All in all, there aren't very many similarities. (They also don’t apply to Viperion, so you can’t even say it’s a style belonging to the snake Miraculous either!)

Now looks aside, What about motive? We Know Felix wants to protect Adrien. We know he also knows Ladybug’s Identity, As well as Monarch’s. He has all this info at his disposal, and has for some time. So why would he steal the Miraculous from Marinette AGAIN? And why NOW? Adrien’s father is dead. Even though it hurts Adrien, in essence, Felix’s goal is met. Gabriel will abuse his son no longer. So why would Felix need to make a wish? He has the Peacock Miraculous, no one can use it against them. I mean the only thing that comes to mind is potentially wishing that the 3 senti-kids are made into ‘real’ kids? Honestly, that actually seems pretty weak to me.

Plus, isn’t Felix working towards redemption? We see him and Kagami joining the kids for the pool party at the end of season 5, and they seem to have been added to the lineup of heroes. Do you think Ladybug would EVER trust him EVER if he had managed to steal all the Miraculous from her TWICE, and make a wish? HELL NO. Even if he pulled out some sob story about helping Adrien, there’s no way.

You could argue that at least this time, Marinette having Chat Noir’s ring with her is a rare opportunity to get 2 for 1. But… How would Felix even know that she has both? Felix was mysteriously missing from the entire finale scenario, besides returning Kagami to her mom just to be imprisoned. (I have my questions about this, for sure)

I’m not saying I don’t think Felix is involved at all. Because I’d sure as hell like to know where the hell he’s been?! And how, after everything, he seems to get into Marinette’s good graces enough to at least be present with the rest of the team in the future. (Though I’ve heard it argued that his presence may be out of necessity, because he knows too much about LB and she needs to keep him close. Which makes sense for sure.)

I’ve also heard it argued that If Ghost guy is Felix, perhaps he knows Clock dude is coming and tries to take the Miraculous to protect them before Clock dude can get their hands on them. Which… why wouldn’t he just show up to warn Marinette that Clock dude is coming?

Unanswered questions!

Assuming any of these theories are correct, I still have unanswered questions.

How does Lila become Clock dude, where does her time power come from? Does she Akumatize herself like Gabe did? We see Nooroo and the Butterfly Miraculous on the table in her Lair, both with Clock Dude and Ghost guy. But Gabriel would take off the Miraculous when he Akumatized himself, so it’s not ruled out.

How does Adrien become Ghost guy? Where does his power come from?

How does Marinette become Chronobug? By all accounts, her Miraculous is gone. So how does she get the yellow Ladybug suit? Is she wearing Bunnyx’s Miraculous? Or is it a fusion?

Where is FELIX?

The takeaway:

To me, this tells a story similar to Chat Blanc, in that way that it proves to Ladybug that without a shadow of a doubt, Adrien and/or Chat Noir CANNOT know the truth. It gives a completely rational explanation for why the story may progress with Adrien being oblivious to his father’s identity, and/or his being a Senti-being. She might learn that an Adrien who knows the truth would be an Adrien who doesn’t want to exist. She wouldn’t want that for him. This is all irrefutable reasoning for Marinette to NEVER tell him.

She wouldn’t even have to find out that Adrien is Chat Noir for this theory to work. Think about it, if she finds out it’s ADRIEN who steals the Miraculous, that would explain why Ghost Guy’s suit looks more like Aspik’s and Ephemeral’s suits than any of Chat’s other identities. Because Marinette KNOWS Aspik was Adrien. (Though she wouldn’t remember Ephemeral.) It wouldn’t even necessarily reveal his Chat Noir sides.

Also keep in mind that this is her boyfriend! Of course she trusts him, and wouldn’t initially suspect him, because it would be so outside of her wildest thoughts. And discovering that her boyfriend is so distraught over his father’s crimes and the truth of his existence that he tries to end it? (Or at the very least stop it from ever beginning?) It would hurt her SO much. Because of course, she’s going to feel responsible for everything! That she somehow failed as Ladybug, failed to protect Adrien, failed to stop Gabriel, lost the Miraculous again.

And of course, this even helps along the Lila is Clock dude theory. She wants to destroy Marinette. And what better way than by destroying her through the boy she loves??

Yes, that would probably mean that if Marinette fixes everything, Adrien will forget it all (or… never have learned it. Time travel, AmIRight?) and it never happens (Again)

Adrien can’t know things

We see repeatedly that Adrien learning the truth only hurts him. And others. This would be the proof Marinette needs to always keep the truth from him. A valid reason for Marinette to lie to her boyfriend.

Because if she doesn't, the world ends. Or he gets akumatized, or he goes off the deep end and tries to wish himself unborn.

I'M SORRY IT WAS SO LONG BUT IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

#I'm sorry it's so long #MLB Theories #london special #miraculous london #fan theory #adrien agreste #mlb theory #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous #Adrien is Ghost Guy #Lila is Clock dude #chat noir #ladybug #bug noire

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lullabyes22-blog · 4 months

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As Arcane S2 rolls around the corner, please remember...

That however beautiful this animated endeavor is, it remains the property of corporate giants like Riot, and streaming platforms like Netflix - both of which are notorious for

a) jumping that shark on successful premises due to a superabundance of bad suggestions trickling down to the creative depts in the form of Insipid Emails from Corporate

b) milking successful premises past the point of exhaustion due to their own success and leaving their twitching, feeble, barely-breathing remains to die an unceremonious death in the shadows of media obscurity, and

c) replacing their successful creators with less creative ones to save costs, because they don't understand the value of the creative input behind the show's success.

Please consider supporting the mobilization of workers/creatives on all shows - not just Arcane - to stop corporate meddling in the form of budget cuts and unfair wages, while their CEOs + board members continue to take home billions.

Please consider both petitioning and demanding that platforms like Netflix grow a spine and phase out the 'all episodes released at once' model, which actively harms the actors, animators, writers, costume designers, set departments, VFX experts and everyone else that worked hard on the series, by cheating them out of the right to receive paychecks and residuals over the lifespan of the show, instead of the cheapened instant gratification of a single deposit.

Please consider calling out Netflix on the need to have more episodes released per season on their shows, so writers, voice-actors, sound engineers and many others will have a steady stream of payments instead of an unpredictable one, and to give the characters, and the writers who wrote them, some breathing space instead of cramming all the plot points into 9 or 10 episodes.

Please remember that the creatives are often the public face of a franchise, and are often thrown into the line of fire when narrative decisions are made behind the scenes - decisions that they do not necessarily agree with, and are often not in control of, but are forced to sell anyway, lest they be replaced.

Please remember that hateful, threatening, and abusive behavior is not what we should be about as fans - and that the creatives who work on these shows/projects often read our comments, and feel the weight of our expectations and emotions.

Please consider supporting your creatives and showrunners as individuals, not just as "the person who makes X".

Please consider getting LOUD AF on Twitter/X about the bungling of character arcs via hashtags - and directing the vitriol @ the company producing the show, not the poor creators - because corporate runs numbers on that kind of stuff, and if there's a perceived furor about certain narrative directions/plotlines, they're less likely to ignore it and more likely to cave, because of the bottom line.

Please remember that a majority of dismal creative choices have come as a result of corporate/big tech pushing the button on creative decisions - and that, in order for us to be heard, we have to use our collective voice to push back, and keep pushing back until the message sinks in.

Please remember that beyond protecting a beloved series, it's about fighting to protect the people behind it, the same way they fought for the integrity of the story, and the characters, in their telling.

And, while we're at it, please support people within fandom spaces - like fanartists and fanfic writers - who share their labor of love for free, and don't get paid a cent, except in goodwill and appreciation.

Remember that fandoms are, first and foremost, a community.

It is not about content, but people.

Let's be good to each other, and to the creatives, and keep fighting for them to be treated well by the companies and executives who make money off their labor, and profit off our love.

Some sources for funding. Feel free to add more.

The Animator Dormitory Project 2023

Grants for Writers in Need

Pen America

Entertainment Community

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sillybruja · 4 months

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roasting your moon sign pt 1. (Aries - Gemini) p.s. this one's gonna hurt your wittle feelings 🥲

Aries Moon

OH MY GOD. SHUUUUUUT UPPP. Seriously, you don't have an off button and talking to you is very frustrating. It's kind of like you jut like hearing yourself talk, which is fine, but the rest of us are suffering. And Holy lack of emotional regulation! When you are upset, you are really upset, eh? Seriously, you cannot control your emotional reactions even if you tried your hardest. If you feel triggered, you have to let the whole room hear about it 🙄And one more thing -- why do you think speaking louder makes your argument valid? It's kind of like listening to a toddler start screaming because crying was not getting their mom's attention good enough. It's fine to have emotional outbursts once in a while, but try to remember you're an adult, not a six-year-old. Communication takes more than scream-crying until you are heard / get your way. Btw, y'all are some of the most delulu people out there! It's like, everyday is a rollercoaster for you emotionally and you kidnapped the rest of us to have to suffer with you. Yeah, that's right, you can be insufferable and the people around you feel it. Are you even aware of that, though? Or are you more focused on creating a narrative that makes you the victim? Your lack of impulse control is a whole other thing. We get that you react first and think last, but to have the audacity to blame others for your decisions/actions is wild. Oh you punched a wall? No, that person didn't make you do that, you did that. Oh, you're insecure so you acted out of character? No actually, it's not their fault because they are secure with themselves. It's all on you. Guess what? Accountability is not the same as being held at g*npoint. You will not die. You will not wither away. You are actually wrong a lot and that's fine, but you don't have to be such a tool about taking responsibility. It gives everyone in your life the ick, and people are probably tired of walking on egg shells around you. 🤷‍♀️

Moon in 1st House:

Okay, drama Queen/King!🙄😅Besides the fact that you literally wear your heart on your sleeve, you are also so dramatic and for what, special effect? Seriously, you emotionally respond to things with the same voracity and urgency as you would an actual emergency. You can literally stub your toe and have a meltdown over it, saying that was your "13th reason" likeee y'all are D R A M A T IC and because I also have this placement, I know it's because it actually feels really dramatic but tbh it's not that deep. You just feel too deeply which is fine but guess what? You're still responsible for your emotions, no one else is. You sacrifice your power too often looking for acceptance and love, and then expect the people who you give said power, to reciprocate the same energy but they never do because what you are really expecting from them is you and that's pretty messed up tbh. You gotta let people be! your attachment issues are showing. BTW, being the sacrificial lamb in every situation does not actually gain you aura points, it just makes it obvious that you lack boundaries. The People around you take advantage of you because 9/10 times, you have made it pretty clear very early on that taking advantage of your kindness can be easy to do. Its insane that people have projected on you your whole life, and yet, you still can't detect when its happening. People are not mean to you because they hate you lol but the fact that you make everything about yourself makes it even easier for these people to project their problems onto you. Why wouldn't they? You are all consuming, and you take on the responsibility of everyone's actions, making yourself a stomping ground for ab*se. Your problem is, you are looking to find you in everyone and you will constantly be disappointed because that's something you will not find. Learn to be comfortable with others showing you how they feel, and accept it for what it is instead of for what you want it to be. Your scope of other's emotions needs work -- there's a whole universe outside of your own mind. You gotta learn to consider others emotional needs and try to walk in the shoes of other people once in a while and you will see that not everything is not in relation, caused by, or about you. Also, you have the same emotional regulation as a toddler sometimes. Stop making your problems, everyone's problems. Go to therapy.

Taurus Moon

OKAAAAAY, SLOTH. How do you expect to have the rich bitch bougee life you keep creating pinterest boards about if you won't even get off the couch and take small steps to reach those goals? Queen of "manifestation", all things "come to me naturally". Can we cut the bs and call a spade, a spade? You are lazy. You know deep deep down that you have the gift of the moon as your placement's exalted, but you have proven so many times that you prefer comfort over work. You're sitting there, waiting for the universe to deliver all the things you want in life, but your uninspired, bland, lazy ass won't even break a sweat for half of what you want in this world. YOU are the reason you do not seem to accomplish as much as you want to, because you do not challenge yourself. Do you feel incapable? I would if I'd rather live in repetitive and tired routines instead of challenging myself to grow. Speaking of growth.... do you even know what that is? Or are you still holding the same opinions of people that you had in middle school? Guess what, people grow and change... it is time to catch up! Why are you more comfortable with clinging onto the past, especially onto an old way of thinking? How is that actively helping your life? Be so for real. You cling & obsess over the past because its easier to revictimize yourself & build resentment than it is to take responsibility and make changes. Why is it more comfortable being stubbornly wrong, instead of owning up to your ways?

Moon in 2nd House

STAY OUT OF MY WALLET & GET A JOB! Seriously -- for someone who needs & craves financial stability, you sure will do a whole lot of nothing to get it. It's so weird because you manage to do absolutely nothing, and the people around you end up picking up your tab. What's it like being the community leech? And another thing... why is it that you feel you only have value when the 'yes men' around you over compliment you, or give you attention? Why is it that you cannot regulate your sense of self worth, but instead need to feed your self-esteem through manipulation, clinginess, and insecurity? Your relationships are probably prone to being unstable because of this. You are too much. Your expectations are too much, and they do not even match what you are willing to give back. You can't expect other people to pour from an empty cup just because You can't seem to fill your own. Your erratic self-esteem issues have an impact on your closest loved ones but your mindset is in the gutter because of how harshly you cling onto old mindsets and negative beliefs. Your greediness is not justified, no matter how much you have been hurt. You seem to never take your pain out in a healthy way, or on the person who actually inflicted the pain. If people come too close, you automatically assume there's alternative motives, even if there's no reason to think that. You act more like an 8H moon in your lowest vibration, and ironically enough, you are "triggered" and angry with other people who act this way. Your self-awareness is probably is as little as your confidence because you seem to live in your own bubble, and cannot understand how your own projections you put on other people are hurtful and make you look very weak. Your people pleasing tendencies will never grant you the stability you seek and until you take accountability, responsibility, and action to secure the life/lifestyle you want for yourself, you will always think shrinking yourself through people pleasing equals safety. But ya know, BE DELULU.

Gemini Moon

OHMYGOD CAN YOU SHUTTHEFUCKUP?! Yes, your friends do think you are annoying as fuck. It's because you never know when to STFU. And the worst part? It's not like you don't know you talk a lot... you do. you know you can dominate a conversation like no other. You are aware of the snotty asshole you sound like when you articulate and use word play to your advantage, and you don't care lol. If you're not that person, you're the opposite - you're weird af, you still never shut up, you have weird af obsessions, collections, and stories, and chances are you're easily forgotten about 😅 You share random facts with your friends all the time and at first it was really funny but because you never know when to stop, your friends are over it. When you talk, they sigh. It's because being your friend is exhausting. It's always the GEMINI MOON SHOW!!!! and you never give them (or anyone) the space to express themselves. You think you know what everyone wants and because you are lowkey controlling, you make decisions for others -- can you be any fuckin' worse? No wonder people don't really like hanging out with you lol. By the way, you are so dense. For being a mercury ruled moon, you would think you'd be better at reading people and yet, you constantly miss the red flags in others. What's it like being a door mat? It's like you know they hurt you, you know they are sus, and you don't care. LOL btw y'all are really big cry babies and so sensitive sometimes. You'd think that being a gemini moon would make you easy going, but you walk around and act like you have a stick up your ass. Your submissive nature is 10000% your decision but you have this talent of blaming other people for why you have codependency issues, let's call you the King/Queen of Projection. You act out, you push people away, you start fights and for what? For people to pay attention to you? lol that's sad. Why do you feel you are only worthy of getting attention when there's controversy? When you act out of character? Is it because you feel like no one cares about what you have to say unless you're being the worst version of yourself? Is that why you are so skilled at wearing masks with people? Maybe if you spent more time figuring your shit out, spending more time with yourself, and less time giving a fuck about others, you'd be able to heal the identity you shattered trying to morph into whatever everyone else wanted you to be. Basically, FIGURE OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE SO YOU CAN STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO SECURE PEOPLE.

Moon in 3H

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?! You wishy-washy bitch you lol. (pls don't take this seriously this is a roast ok? ily) But fr, who even are you? Because you switch up your entire personality depending on the group of people you're around. You think no one notices this but I promise you they do and they're tired of your shit. A lot of people probably find you unreliable because you also seriously lie...over dumb things too? Like, who lies about what they had for breakfast? Pfft. This need to maintain a certain level of "mystery" is actually kinda cringe because you are actually so transparent. Also, you do realize you cause a lot of your own problems, right? No one can drive people away better than you can, huh? :) Your need for banter and excitement is all fun and games until it became really fucking annoying. People do not like to constantly be poked and picked at and tested. Especially if you think you're some prize to win over. Speaking of being some prize... your ego though? It's like to feel intelligently superior, your say a whole lot of nothing polished in purple prose to humiliate others. Imagine being so insecure with yourself that you feel the need to verbally tear down the ones who are just plain doing better than you in life. Your problem is that you spend so much time focusing on the people around you, wanting to gain their approval, wanting to be the center of attention, that you actually end up losing sight of your identity and you become this annoying asshole 😅🙈 By the way, you definitely do talk soooo much shit about people, and yes it is so unnecessary. MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED YAPPIN YOUR TRAP ABOUT PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WOULDN'T ALWAYS LEAVE YOU or fantasize about leaving you for your much hotter family member, sibling, or friend 🤭

Pt. 2-4 are coming x

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sara-scribbles · 1 year

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Melting the Dragon King’s Heart (Part 2)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Malleus Draconia/F!Reader Summary: After falling down some stairs, you wake up in the body of a villain from one of Idia's cheesy romance books. Destined to die a fiery death, you have to figure out a way to change your fate. Word Count: 8,000 Notes: I decided to split this part into two. The original is about 11k words and counting. This way I can work on the final part but also provide everyone with something. Reader uses she/her pronouns Warnings: Physical abuse, emotional abuse

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

After revising the proposal and sending along the messengers, you spent a lot of time filling out paperwork. Malleus seemed to trust you to do more, so you found yourself given more work. Though you’re glad he trusts you more, you hate all the new work.

Because of all the work, you’re unable to do much besides hole up in the office. Thankfully Diablo is always there to bring snacks and remind you of the time. You often get lost in the paperwork and forget to do the basic necessities such as eating dinner. Malleus is always happy to answer any questions you have, and having his office across the way is very handy.

It’s a few weeks later that you notice the castle is abuzz with more activity than usual. You can hear everyone rushing back and forth while signing off on a few things. You can see staff rush by with vases, flowers and linen.

“Diablo, what’s going on?” you ask the butler, who places a new cup of tea down.

“The palace is preparing for his highness’s birthday,” he informs you. “It is a national holiday so Briar Valley throws a party for the citizens. There’s also a ball that is hosted in his honor where we invite the surrounding kingdoms. This year's theme is a masquerade.”

You had completely forgotten about his birthday. Setting aside your work, you lean forward on your elbow while strumming your fingers on the desk. “What should I get him as a gift?” you muse aloud.

Glancing over at the butler, he pretends to stare straight ahead. After a moment, he sighs before shaking his head. “I apologize, your highness, but I do not think I should tell you what to get his highness.”

“But I don’t really know what he likes…” That’s not completely true, but it would be nice to get something that you know Malleus will like.

“My advice is that as long as the gift has your thoughts and feelings, his majesty will like it.” Diablo bows slightly before leaving.

Letting out a deep sigh, you jot down a list of things you know Malleus likes and dislikes. From your previous conversations, you do know some things. He likes gargoyles, abandoned places, and cold treats. He dislikes whole cakes and gargoyles that serve no function.

“What to get him…” A maid gently raps on the door, disrupting your thoughts.

“I apologize for disturbing your highness, but a letter just arrived.” She hands you the cream colored envelope with a rose wax seal.

Once she leaves, you open the rather thick letter. Reading through it, your eyes slowly widen with each word. Excitement and trepidation fill every fiber in your body. Leaving your study, you make the very quick trip to Malleus’s office next door. Your sudden intrusion startles him from the paper he’s reading.

“He responded!” you exclaim, slapping the letter down on the desk.

He quizzically looks at you before taking the letter. You watch as he quickly scans the contents. “Riddle Rosehearts wants to meet about our proposal,” you explain. “It’s a good sign, right?”

He sets the letter down and nods. “It would seem he wants to iron out the details. I’m surprised he responded so quickly, since I’ve heard he’s the type not to make decisions without careful consideration.” He ponders, “Perhaps he’s been wanting to establish relations with us and this gives him a good excuse.”

“Right! So, when do you want to go?”

“You wish to do this soon?” he asks.

Nodding, you explain, “I think it would be ideal to do this sooner rather than later.”

“Hmm… I have a few meetings to attend with some diplomats from other countries. And then there’s the banquet…” He shifts through a notebook containing his day-to-day schedule. “Maybe we could go… no that won’t work.”

After a while of going through his schedule, he sighs deeply. Brows furrowing, a small frown appears on his lips. “It seems I will be busy for a few months. We may not be able to do this as quickly.”

There’s a pause before you throw out a suggestion. “What if I go and meet with him?”

“Alone?” His frown deepens.

“Yes. I believe I can work on this with him. We won’t sign anything, but it will at least iron out the details.” You want to do this. It’s something you worked on for a while, so it would be nice to be the one to close the deal. And you can’t say you’re not curious to see what the Queendom of Roses is like.

“I know you might be worried about my abilities, but I would like the opportunity to prove myself beyond paperwork and readings.”

Malleus regards you quietly. The frown has left his face but his brows are still creased. “I do not doubt your abilities. I just worry about you being in another country alone.”

A small laugh escapes your lips. His concern for your safety is endearing. “I can bring a guard or two with me, if that will ease your worries,” you quickly add.

That seems to alleviate some of his worry. “Yes, I think that will be fine. When would you like to leave?”

Taking the letter, you fold it back into the envelope. “His highness said he could meet starting next week. How about a week from now? It should give me enough time to send a response back and prepare for the trip.”

“So soon…” he mutters. Letting out a huff, he waves off whatever is concerning him “I will instruct Silver and Sebek to accompany you. Diablo will help you prepare everything else.”

You’re surprised he’s having his two closest knights go with you. “Are you sure? I could take someone else.”

He shakes his head. “These two are one of my most trusted knights, so it would be appropriate that they guard you on your journey.”

Seeing the firm set of his lips, you know not to argue. “Thank you. I will gather some material and start packing.”

Turning to leave, Malleus calls to you. “How are your parents doing?” he asks suddenly.

You halt, almost stumbling in your steps, before slowly turning toward him. “They’re fine. Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking we can send them an invitation for my birthday ball,” he explains. You can’t read his expression.

Every fiber in your being wants to scream ‘no’ and that you never want to see them. But you know you can’t. You have to keep up appearances for now. “If that’s what you would like, then please invite them,” you respond as calmly as you can.

He’s quiet as he studies you before nodding. “If there is anyone else you want to invite, please let Diablo know. The invitations will go out in about three weeks.” He returns to his papers.

You suddenly have an idea. “Is there anything you want for your birthday?” you inquire, walking over to stand in front of his desk.

“Nothing in particular,” he says, not looking up.

“Really? Nothing at all?” You’re hoping he’d give you some ideas. Buying birthday gifts for Idia was easy since he usually wanted something related to his games or anime.

Malleus finally looks up from his papers. “I’m sure whatever you decide, I will like.”

You resist the urge to groan. “Diablo said something similar, you know…” Placing both hands on his desk, you give him a stern look. “If I give you something you hate, let me know right away. Okay?”

He blinks twice. “I doubt you’d ever give me something I’d hate.” He pauses when he sees the slight turn of your lips. “...but I will let you know if that happens.”

“Great!” Turning on your heel, you leave his office. You miss the smile on his lips as he watches you go with a fond look.

---

The trip to the Queendom of Roses is an uneventful ride. Silver and Sebek do accompany you on horseback. Neither say much so you’re left going over things in your head. You’re not sure how this will go, but can only hope you don’t start a war.

The Queendom is lush and green with picturesque homes. Everything reminds you somewhat of images from the Victorian era. When you arrive at the castle, you’re greeted by the queen’s personal advisor, Trey Clover.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, your highness,” he greets with a deep bow.

Taking his offered hand, you step out of the carriage. “Thank you for having me, Mr. Clover.”

“Please call me Trey. If you’ll follow me, his majesty has prepared some tea.” Silver and Sebek follow a few paces behind as you’re led through the rose garden. Some of the roses, you notice, are white while others are red. And some of the red roses almost look to be dripping in paint.

When you arrive at the heart of the garden maze, you are greeted by the queen himself, Riddle Rosehearts. He’s dressed impeccably, though you wouldn’t expect less from someone who follows rules strictly. Though much shorter than Trey, there’s something about his presence that seems to tower over everyone.

He greets you with a bow. “It’s nice to meet you in person.” He’s polite but firm.

“Thank you for having me.” As you dip into a bow, you can’t help but marvel at his composure. For someone who’s around your age, he carries himself as if he’s much older and wiser.

“Trey, please place her highness across from me,” he orders. Silver and Sebek melt somewhere into the background without a word.

As you take the offered seat, you give him a tentative smile. “You can call me by my name. I’d like to think we’ll be good friends soon.”

He seems to sputter a bit before finding himself. “If you insist. Please just call me Riddle, then.”

As tea is served, you engage in small talk. Though you’re eager to get on to the topic of the proposal, etiquette dictates you share pleasantries. It would be considered rude since the tea and treats were specially prepared. The strawberry tarts are delicious so you don’t really mind.

After enjoying the tea, Riddle wastes no time getting onto the business. “Your proposal is indeed interesting to us, however, I want to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

He leans forward, hands propped under his chin. “What would you do if we said no?”

There’s a pause. You hadn’t actually considered they would reject your proposal. After a moment, you carefully choose your words. “I would respect your decision. Ultimately, you do not need to accept the proposal. We are not the type of country to force our will on to another. Though, I do think it would be foolish not to take the deal.”

He gestures for you to explain. “Though the Queendom is rich in crops, you do lack magical resources. As you’re aware, Briar Valley is old and has many deposits of magic, which have been refined into its purest form. I’m sure trading between us would help increase the Queendom’s magical might.”

Riddle leans back as he mulls over your words. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest, wondering what is going through his head. After a few moments, he smiles. “Let us draft up an official agreement, then.”

“You accept?” you ask, a bit surprised considering how serious he had been looking. He almost looked like he was about to reject the offer.

“Yes. I’ve always thought it would be good to become allies with our neighboring countries,” he explains. “I realize we haven’t really interacted in the past, but I hope this will be the start to a good relationship between our kingdoms.”

Relief washes over you. “I agree. I think this will be beneficial to both of us in the long run.” There’s a loud commotion that causes you both to turn and look around. “Is…is everything okay?”

Riddle frowns. “There shouldn’t be any problems… Trey?” The green haired man from before does not appear, which causes Riddle’s frown to deepen.

Then, there’s a loud shout. “Get back here!”

A gray blur bursts through the bushes and makes a beeline toward you and Riddle. A redhead and a brunette follow suit, both looking disheveled. “You can’t be here, Grim!” the brunette shouts.

The gray blur stops short and you realize it’s a cat. A strange cat that can stand on two feet with blue flames coming from its ears. You can’t help but stare as you realize who this cat is. And just as you thought, another person comes through the maze, out of breath. Yūki, the protagonist of ‘Melting the Dragon King’s heart’ and the one who saves Malleus, stands before you.

“Grim! Trey said he’d feed you some tarts later!” Yūki shouts.

“Mrrrawh! I want a tart now!” Grim howls.

Riddle stands up, his chair falling to the ground. His face is bright red. “What do you think you’re doing! We have an important guest and you make a spectacle!”

“Uhh… uh oh!” The cat slinks back at the sudden anger rolling off in waves from Riddle.

The redhead manages to grab Grim by the scruff of his neck. “Gotcha!”

Trey steps in along with Silver and Sebek. “I apologize, Riddle. We weren’t able to catch him.”

You, however, can’t take your eyes off the protagonist. In the books Yūki is a magicless human in a world filled with magic. However, that never stops them from traveling to different places and having adventures with their friend, Grim. It’s during one of their trips that they happen to meet Malleus, and everything else falls into place.

You never thought much about where Yūki’s last adventure was before coming to Briar Valley since the story glossed over everything. But to see them before the start of the novel is strange, yet you’re curious.

Feeling your gaze, Yūki turns to you. Their eyes are bright and filled with wonder. “Hello, your highness.” They bow. “I apologize for interrupting your meeting.” They ignore the others who are still squabbling. Riddle doesn’t look ready to calm down any time soon either.

“It’s nice to meet you…?”

“Yūki! And that,” they point to the cat who’s munching on leftovers, “is Grim. We’re adventures.”

Though you’ve only spoken a few words, you can feel their warmth and sincerity. No wonder they’re able to break the magic on Malleus so easily. They’re like an early spring day coming to thaw the remaining coldness from winter. Ironic, you think.

“An adventure? Where else have you traveled?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, we just came back from visiting the Island of Woe. But we’ve also seen the Shaftlands, Scalding Sands, Coral Sea, and the Sunset Savanna.” They tick off each location on their fingers.

From your memories, you’ve never been anywhere besides your home and then to Briar Valley. The Queendom of Roses is the first place you’ve ever visited. “That’s a lot of places! You must have a lot of fun.”

Yūki chuckles, rubbing the back of their neck. “Yeah… we always manage to get into some kind of trouble, so it’s not that great. I’ve heard Briar Valley is a nice, quaint place…”

“Yes, it’s quiet but the people there are wonderful. You should come visit someday.” The offer is genuine.

They smile, making their face light up. “We definitely will. I think right now Grim and I are going to rest a bit more here.”

“Is the food good there?” Grim suddenly butts in. There are crumbs all over his mouth, which Yūki begins wiping off with a napkin.

You nod thoughtfully. “I would say so. If you come to visit the castle, I’ll make sure to have our chefs whip up a wonderful meal.” You haven’t had much complaint about the food. Though there are some comfort meals you miss from home.

“Sweet! Let’s go there next, Yūki!” The cat’s eyes light up at the prospect.

They groan while crossing their arms. “I still need time to rest from our last adventure. Anyways, Riddle said we could stay as long as we wanted, which means you’ll have access to unlimited tarts.”

Grim huffs but doesn’t seem too bothered. “I guess you’re right…”

Riddle, having calmed down, sits back in his seat. “I do apologize for the abrupt intrusion from my knights.”

The two who had been trying to catch grim, kneel. “We apologize for intruding, your majesty,” they both say in unison

Trey shakes his head. “Honestly… this is Ace and Deuce. They’re newly appointed knights, so they’re still rough around the edges.”

“I don’t mind. You’re knights are a lively bunch.” The two have the decency to look embarrassed.

“A bit too lively,” Riddle mutters. Letting out a sigh, he gestures to Yūki and Grim. “These two are esteemed guests.”

“That’s right! Me and my henchhuman are super important!” Grim boasts, crossing his short arms while puffing out his chest.

Yūki glances at you with an apology in their eyes. “Don’t go getting a big head, Grim,” they warn jokingly.

“Too late! His head is already huge,” Ace teases.

“My head’s normal sized!”

You hear Riddle sigh once more as he rubs his temples. It seems any talk about the proposal is over, but you don’t mind. With how lively everyone else is, things are bound to never be boring.

Your gaze once more turns to Yūki. They’re different from what you expect. Seeing them laugh without a care in the world reminds you about something in the book. In the story, Yūki does lament the fact that they won’t be able to travel anymore once they marry Malleus. They put their adventures on hold. You don’t remember the story ever saying that Yūki laughed in such a carefree way.

Meeting your intense stare, they regard you curiously. “Is there something wrong, your highness?”

You wave them off. “No. It just seems like you’re really close with everyone here…”

They nod eagerly. “The thing about adventuring is that you meet people from different backgrounds and walks of life. I enjoy adventuring for that very reason. I guess I can’t imagine staying in one place for too long when there’s places I still haven’t seen.”

“So, would you want to adventure your whole life?”

“Yes, that’s the goal!” Their grin is infectious.

As Deuce and Ace draw their attention away, you find yourself thinking. Seeing an enthusiastic Yūki and Grim compared to the more subdued versions in the story is so jarring. It’s almost like once the events of the story happen, all of Yūki’s personal dreams and goals get pushed to the back.

By now you’ve accepted your life as the queen. And perhaps with you here, the story has changed. Perhaps you don’t have to follow the story in order to live. A very selfish part of you doesn’t want to leave Briar Valley like you had originally planned. And maybe that’s okay.

As you watch the two adventures talk animatedly, you make a decision. You’ll figure out how to stop your parents your own way.

---

Returning to Briar Valley after a few days away, something has changed. It seems like Malleus has started following you around more. The moment you stepped out of the carriage, Malleus was there to greet you, which you thought was sweet. However, he’s started coming into your office for nothing in particular. He’ll sit in one of your chairs pretending to read whatever papers or book he’s brought with him. You can often feel him hovering, gaze following your every move. It’s like he’s watching and waiting for something to happen.

It’s much like how your parents were always watching you, and if they couldn’t monitor you, they had one of the maids do it. Like a bug under the microscope, you never had peace to yourself until you slept. By then, you were too tired to do anything more than just sleep.

It’s starting to get on your nerves. When you ask him what he wants, he simply says he doesn’t want anything. But you can tell he wants something! But he won’t tell you!

SNAP!

You blink as you stare down at the now broken pen in your hands. Black ink oozes out and drips onto the paper you were working on. Malleus immediately perks up from his spot across from your desk.

“Is everything alright?”

Letting out a long breath through your nose, you summon some magic to clean up the mess on your hand. The broken pen is tossed in the trash. “I’m fine,” you mutter, not looking up.

There’s a pause though you can feel him staring once more. Finding your spare pen, you crumble up the ruined papers. “It seems you’re upset,” he muses. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No,” you reply curtly.

Perhaps your tone is a bit too icy because when you look up, you can see the hurt in his gaze. Sighing, you lean forward and cover your face. “I… I didn’t mean to be snappy with you, Malleus. …Why are you hovering so much?”

There’s silence before he answers, “I missed you. Lilia said that if I missed you, I should spend more time with you.”

Looking up once more, you’re not sure what to say. You let out a dry chuckle. “I see… If you want to spend time together, just let me know. I don’t mind spending time together, I just don’t like you hovering.”

“I didn’t realize. I’m sorry,” he apologizes sincerely.

“I’m sorry too for not communicating with you better about this.” You sit back, body suddenly feeling tired. “I’ve spent a lot of my life being watched, and it wasn’t pleasant. I want to spend more time with you, but not like this.”

You glance at him tiredly. There’s a harshness in his gaze but it vanishes too quickly for you to fully understand. “I apologize for making you uncomfortable. It was never my intention.” He lowers his head, his lips are pressed in a firm line.

“I know.” He would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

“Do you want to take a walk in the gardens?” he asks suddenly.

A break would do you some good. Following Malleus to the gardens, you stroll through the roses. Though the Queendom had lovely roses, there’s something about these roses that you like more.

He leads you to the center of the garden where you sit. You lean against his side, eyes closed, enjoying the fresh air. Malleus traces patterns on the palm of your hand. You sit like that for a while before Malleus breaks the silence.

“While you were away, I walked into your office wanting to see you. It made me realize how little time we spend together outside of our work. I’d like to spend more time with you doing things like this,” he admits.

You hum in agreement. “I’m always open to spending time together.”

Malleus weaves your fingers together with his. “Even if we don’t do anything?”

“Yes. Sitting here and enjoying each others’ company is enough.” Opening your eyes, you smile back at him. “I prefer this over you hovering.”

He nods. “I will keep that in mind. Perhaps next time I should be more clear with Lilia on my question…”

“Or you could ask me. Why not go to the source?” you suggest. It’ll save you from any miscommunication.

“Alright. I’ll come to you if I have any questions or concerns.” He chuckles as he squeezes your hand.

There’s a pause before you ask a question that’s been plaguing your mind for a while. “Why did you marry me? I don’t come from a country that can offer much, so it’s not like Briar Valley gained anything.”

Pulling away slightly, his brows crease. “Did your parents not tell you of the deal?”

“No. They just told me it was an honor to be marrying you.” They had told you nothing beyond that you were to marry a complete stranger. The glee in their gazes as they concocted their scheme to take over Briar Valley remains fresh in your mind.

He mutters something under his breath before shaking his head. “One of your ancestors from long ago sought out my grandmother for a blessing. Apparently their land was on the verge of collapse and my grandmother offered to bless the land once more. In exchange, they or their descendants would have to marry off their first born to her grandson. I wasn’t born then, but it seems grandmother already knew I would be eventually.”

You slowly process the information. “So essentially, it was just timing that it happened to be me?”

“My grandmother never really explained but when the time came, she told me I’d be marrying you.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But I am glad it was you that I married.”

Your face warms as he gazes at you sincerely. “I’m glad too,” you manage to sputter out. Sometimes Malleus can say the sappiest things with a straight face. Yet, you know he’s always true to his feelings. It never fails to make your heart flutter.

Your gaze drops to his lips and stays there for a bit longer than you mean. You haven’t kissed him, and now you’re wondering how it would feel. You wonder if he would be a gentle kisser or would he bite at your lips with his sharp fangs. You wouldn’t mind either way…

Feeling your face warm at the sudden thoughts, you realize that Malleus has shifted a bit closer. Peering back at him, he watches you with half-lidded eyes. His usual bright eyes are dark with swirling emotions.

“Malleus…?” Your voice is barely a whisper.

He reaches up to stroke the right side of your face. He traces the curve of your jaw before gently grasping your chin. There’s a fire burning in his gaze as he leans closer. You stay completely still, barely daring to breathe.

His lips are inches away from you before he asks, “Can I?” His gaze flickers to meet yours.

You nod wordlessly and he-

“KING MALLEUS!” The voice that echoes through the garden causes you to jerk back in surprise. You almost stumble off the bench if not for Malleus’s quick reflexes as he steady’s you with a hand to the small of your back.

“Sebek, I don’t think you need to yell so loudly,” another voice admonishes with little heat.

Nervously clearing your throat, you quickly stand up. “Looks like your knights are looking for you.”

Warily turning in the direction of where the voices are coming from, his eyes narrow. “It would seem so.” He hands clench and unclench a few times before he stands. “I should go see what they want…”

“Right… See you later!” You make haste to leave before he can say anything else. You rush past Silver and Sebek on your way out of the garden.

“Your highness?” Silver calls to you, but you’re too busy running away to stop.

Face still warm, you can’t get the image out of your head. The way Malleus looked at you was like he wished to devour you whole. And you wouldn’t have minded.

---

The birthday party is as lavish as you could have imagined. A full orchestra plays music while guests mingle, eat food and dance. As guests arrive, they each approach Malleus to wish him a happy birthday. Presents are left in a different room as they’ll be opened later. Standing beside Malleus, you can feel your mouth aching as you politely smile at everyone that comes over.

Speaking of the birthday boy, he’s dressed impeccably in black silk accented by silver thread embroidery. His black mask is much like your own except the gems match the color of your eyes. His hair is slicked back though there are still a few stubborn strands that refuse to stay put. You can understand why he’s the love interest with how beautiful he is. Your heart did a weird flip when you saw him before the party.

“Are you alright?” Malleus asks once another guest leaves.

Meeting his gaze, you give a tired nod. “I didn’t realize how strenuous just greeting people can be.” From what you could remember, no one ever approached. You spent most parties trying to melt into the wall.

His lips turn slightly down in a frown. “You may rest if you wish. I can handle the guests.”

Shaking your head, you chuckle. “I’ll be fine. It seems like there aren’t too many more people coming.”

“If you’re sure…” He trails off as another guest arrives. This time, you recognize the guest as none other than the ruler of the Queendom of Roses, Riddle Rosehearts.

“Happy birthday and thank you for inviting me,” Riddle says, inclining his head in greeting. You admire the vibrant red mask he has. The design incorporates a subtle rose pattern.

Malleus greets him just as politely. “Thank you for coming, Rosehearts. We are both glad you’re able to come.”

With how many times he’s said the same thing, you can repeat everything word for word. “Is Yūki and Grim here?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “They went to the Coral Sea for something. They should be back in a week or so.”

“Oh…” You did want to speak with Yūki a bit more. You wanted to hear more about their adventures.

Riddle pauses as if wanting to say more. He shakes his head. “This is a celebration, so I will not bring up business. But perhaps we can meet again sometime. I’ll be in Briar Valley for a few more days.”

Nodding, you gesture for Diablo, who stands a bit away. His sharp eyes never miss anything. “Diablo, please discuss with his majesty when we can meet.”

“Of course, your grace.” To Riddle, he bows. “Please let me know when you would like to discuss scheduling, your highness.”

The redhead nods. “I’ll have one of my men reach out.” He turns to you with a smile. “It’s nice to see you again.”

As Riddle leaves, Malleus shifts closer to you. “It seems that the agreement with the Queendom is going smoothly.”

“Yes. Riddle Rosehearts is fair but has a firm hand.” He has his eccentricities, but from your conversations, he’s a good ruler. From the rumors you heard while in the Queendom, he’s loosened up a bit from when he first ascended the throne.

“You should come next time we’re invited to the Queendom of Roses,” you continue. “It’s a lovely place and so vibrant.”

“Do you prefer the Queendom to Briar Valley?” Malleus asks. The way he’s looking at you, you can almost hear sad puppy dog whines.

Biting your cheek to keep from laughing, you shake your head. “Of course not. The Queendom is different from Briar Valley. But Briar Valley will always be home because the people I care about are here.” And that’s the truth. You’ve come to like the people in Briar Valley. And though you won’t admit it aloud, you’ve come to like Malleus a lot more.

Before he can say anything else, a voice that sends chills down your spine breaks in. “Happy birthday, our dear son-in-law.”

Malleus turns to greet your parents as you try to contain your fear. Though you’ve only experienced them through old memories, your body involuntarily stiffens as you try to hide your shaking hands by clasping them behind your back.

“Duke and Duchess Wynters, thank you for coming,” you hear Malleus say. However, his voice becomes muffled as those old memories try to resurface. To outsiders, they look like a sweet older couple.

However, you know the truth. Their eyes are too cold. Their smiles filled with malice. Their hands are covered in your blood and the blood of others. Their hearts are darker than any ink and colder than ice. You force the memories that are trying to surface and adopt a neutral expression. You’re glad for once that you have a good poker face.

When you meet your father’s eyes, you almost forget to breathe. “Dear?” The sickeningly sweet way your mother calls to you fills your mouth with bile.

You managed to force a smile. “Mother, father, I’m glad you could make it.” As much as you didn’t want to, it would look suspicious if they weren’t invited.

“How could we miss our dear son-in-law’s birthday?” she chortles. “And we miss having you home. You haven’t been home at all since you got married. Your father and I are starting to think you don’t want to see us anymore.” She feigns hurt, but you know the truth.

You bow your head slightly. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy with everything that I didn’t realize how much time has passed. I promise to visit soon.”

“You should come too, Malleus,” your father says. “We’d be all too happy to host you for a few days.”

Digging your nails into the palm of your hand, you gently touch Malleus’s arm. “I think I will check in with Diablo,” you murmur.

Malleus nods though there’s worry in his eyes. “Of course. I will see you later.”

“Father, mother, if you’ll excuse me.” You force yourself to walk even though every fiber of your being wants to run.

When you’re out of their line of sight, you head outside to the garden. More guests mingle in the rose garden. Floating lights illuminate the garden making everything seem almost dream-like. Feeling the cool night air on your skin, you let out a big breath. The anxiety is still there, but at least you no longer feel like throwing up.

You didn’t think you’d have such a reaction to meeting the parents. You had memories, so you knew about the vile things they did to their own child. Yet, you had thought since you hadn’t seen them in awhile, things would be fine. But the moment you heard their voices, you lost all control.

Wandering away from the guests, you find a secluded area of the gardens. It’s quiet though the music from inside drifts faintly by. Taking off the mask, you breathe deeply for a bit. If you can avoid them for the rest of the party, you should be fine.

After a few more minutes alone, you decide to return. However as you turn to go back, something catches your eye. In the low light, it looks to be a rope of sorts. You reach down to pick it up but when your hand brushes against the rope, it moves.

You let out a startled gasp as a voice from the bushes grumbles, “You’re either brave or a fool for trying to touch my tail.”

The bushes rustle before a figure sits up. You stare wide eyed at the sleepy-eyed guest. His cat-like ears twitch as he regards you with annoyance. “Are ya gonna just stare at me with that stupid look on your face or apologize?” He glares at you as he pulls himself up and out of the bushes. His mask is nowhere to be seen.

Finding your words, you raise an eyebrow. “Well if you didn’t just leave your tail hanging around, I wouldn’t have mistaken it for something else. Maybe don’t go napping in other people’s bushes,” you bite back.

His eyebrow twitches but you can see the way his emerald green eyes light up. “Heh… you’re a brave one to be speakin’ to me like this.”

Standing up straight, you regard him coolly. “You speak so freely for being one of my husband’s guests, Prince Leona.”

You remember him now as he came with King Falena of the Sunset Savanna. He barely gave Malleus a glance before stalking off, though his nephew immediately ran after him. You’re pretty sure he didn’t even notice you as he seemed to want to get away as quickly as possible. You had read about Beastmen in the books, but this is your first time meeting them.

Leona was decked out in brightly patterned material that showed off both his lean physique and the wealth of the nation. The deep reds and turquoise complemented the gold mask that hung at his hip.

He scratches his ear nonchalantly. “So, you’re the one married to the lizard. Huh… you’re not what I expected.”

“And what did you expect?” You tilt your head to the side. He has a few leaves still stuck in his hair. Your hand twitches but you resist the urge to remove them.

He smirks. “A weak little herbivore. But it seems you actually have a spine.”

You feel your own eye twitch and his smirk grows wider. “So, what were you doing in the bushes?” you ask, changing the subject before you decide to do something un-royalty like.

Yawning, Leona stretches. “I was trying to take a nap.” He notices you’re staring at him intensely. “What are you looking at?”

Pointing to your head, you gesture around. “You have some leaves stuck in your hair.” He lazily swipes at his head but it does absolutely nothing. “No, you missed! No, no, a little more to the left.”

Grunting, he gives up. “Why do you take them off for me, huh?” He leans closer with a wicked glint in his eyes.

“Honestly…” You know you shouldn’t since you’re a queen and all, but the leaves are bothering you. Reaching up, you gently pick the leaves out of his hair. His hair is surprisingly soft to the touch. “Done!”

Looking up, his face is much too close. “Thanks, herbivore.” Your cheeks suddenly feel warm as his gaze doesn’t leave your face. His eyes are hooded as he watched you like you’re some kind of prey.

“…”

“There you are.” Whatever spell Leona had you under breaks as Malleus steps forward. You move away to a more respectable distance from the second prince.

The look on Leona’s face could kill a man. He scowls as Malleus places his hands on your shoulder. “Kingscholar, it’s nice to see you again.”

Leona mutters, “Whatever. I’m heading back inside.” He walks off without another word. Seems he can’t stand being in Malleus’s presence for even a second.

“He left in a hurry,” Malleus muses.

Taking Malleus’s hand, you ask, “Did you need something?”

“I was just wondering where you wandered off to.” He glances at the direction Leona left. “You seemed to be very close to Kingscholar…”

“I found him napping in the bushes. He had some leaves in his hair, so I was just helping him get them out.” You chuckle when you notice the slight pout on his lips.

“Hmm… I see.” Sometimes he can be quite childish.

Deciding to distract him, you lead him to a back entrance to the palace. “I know it’s early, but I do have a birthday gift I wanted to give you.”

That perks him up. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Of course I have to. And since you weren’t much help in figuring out what to get you, I had to do a lot of thinking.” You lead him to the kitchen, which is empty. “Stay there.” Finding what you’re looking for, you bring over a plate that holds a miniature cake.

He stares at the cake. “...”

Slicing the cake in half, you hand him a fork. “Just try it.”

Malleus hesitantly takes a piece. You watch as his confused expression melts into shock. “Ice cream?!”

Grinning, you nod vigorously. “Yup! It’s an ice cream cake. The pastry chef helped me make it since I’ve never done it before. It took a few tries but we got it eventually. I used some ice magic to keep it from melting.”

He chuckles as he sets his fork down. “You know I don’t like whole cakes, but you played quite a trick on me.”

Taking a bite of your own slice, you’re surprised how tasty it actually is. “I thought a small one wouldn’t be so bad, and one filled with ice cream sounds even better. You don’t have to eat cake alone, Malleus.” You set the plate down on the table. “You have Lilia and your retainers. You have Diablo and the rest of the staff, who would love to share with you. And you have me.”

Reaching for his hand, you give it a gentle squeeze. He leans forward pressing his forehead against yours. “Thank you for the present. And thank you for being here with me.”

You recall your almost kiss in the gardens two weeks ago. Not quite brave enough, you gently grasp either side of his face. Moving back, you meet his tender gaze. You press a kiss to his forehead; his breath hitches. The scale markings on his forehead are cool to the touch. Pulling away, you watch as the apples of his cheeks slowly turn red. It spreads to his ears as he stands there frozen.

He doesn’t speak and you wonder if you broke him. “Malleus?”

Blinking a few times, the red has faded away. It’s honestly cute how the tips of his ears are still red. “Can I…can I kiss you?” he asks.

Heart thumping in your chest, you nod. No interruption this time.

You move your arms to drape around his shoulders as he grasps the side of your face. Leaning closer, you admire his long lashes. Closing your eyes, you feel his lips brush against your like a whisper. Then a little more firmly. His lips glide against yours in a sweet and hesitant kiss. He smells like magic, old parchment, and ink. He spends so much time working, you’re not surprised the smell has seeped into his very being.

He pulls away all too soon. He stares at you with the same look as in the gardens. He wants to swallow you whole. His hands have drifted to your waist as he hesitates to make another move.

You’re not quite done with him. “Come here,” you mumble before dragging him back for a better kiss.

You lead him in the kiss. It’s not hesitant as your mouth moves against his. You nibble at his lower lip before giving him a nice, sharp bite. He grunts before you soothe the sting with your tongue. His body shudders. You slip your tongue into his mouth causing his grip on your waist to tighten. Your fingers play the hair at the nape of his neck, twirling the strands around your finger and gently tugging. Your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest as your lungs beg for air.

Finally, you pull away with a gasp. Your face feels hot. He breathes heavily as he holds you flush against his body. Meeting his gaze, his pupils are blown wide. He licks his lips as he regards you. A pleasant shiver runs down your spine when you see his sharp canines glint in the light. You wonder again what it would feel like if he were to bite you.

He leans close again. “Can I have another?” he asks in a hoarse whisper. You’re all too eager to agree.

---

The party goes on long into the early mornings. After your alone time with Malleus, you both returned hand-in-hand. Thankfully it seems the guests are all too tipsy to even notice the birthday boy had disappeared. Only Sebek, Silver and Lilia notice. The green haired half-fae frets over where his master went. Lilia has a devilish smile on his lips while he gives you both a knowing look.

Malleus bids the guests goodnight, though the party continues. You’re about to follow when your parents stop you. Your grip on Malleus’s hand tightens for a second, but you quickly try to relax.

You smile as sweetly as possible. “Is there something you need?”

Duke Wynter picks off invisible lint on his jacket. “Your mother and I have something to discuss with you, dear.”

Glancing over at Malleus, you want to tell them to fuck off. However, you know you can’t. “Diablo, can you bring my parents to my study?”

“Of course, your majesty.”

As he leads them away, you turn to Malleus. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead. Your face grows warm at the gesture. His eyes sparkle as he smiles, amused. “Goodnight.’’

Letting out a deep sigh, you head to your study. Diablo is there waiting at the door. “You may leave, Diablo.”

“Your grace…?”

“You don’t have to stay. I’m just having a chat with my parents.” You offer a too bright smile.

The old butler hesitates before giving a bow. “As you wish. Goodnight, your highness.”

Stepping into the study, you close the doors. Your parents are busy looking around. Walking over, you square your shoulders. “What did you want to talk about?”

Your body tenses before your brain can process the pain.

SMACK!

Your mask flies off and clatters to the ground. The force of the backhanded slap causes your ears to ring. The left side of your cheek throbs painfully and a metallic taste fills your mouth. You stare at the ground blankly.

“You idiot!” your father hisses. “What did you tell the king!?”

You count backwards in your head from five before answering, still keeping your eyes on the ground, “I don’t know what you mean, father.”

He scoffs. “The war with the Queendom of Roses! We were supposed to have a war with them!”

You had almost forgotten about that. “I thought that making a deal for resources would be more beneficial. The land would have been otherwise destroyed beyond repair if a war broke out. It would be useless to you, father.”

The man paces back and forth. “We could’ve expanded our territory…”

Your mother’s shoes come into view. She grabs your face, tilting your head up so she can stare into your eyes. She squeezes your cheeks together and digs her nails into your skin. Your cheek hurts even more. “Oh, our silly, dumb child,” she tuts, clicking her tongue. “You don’t need to think. Just do what we have instructed and leave the rest to us.”

Her cold, sharp eyes gaze at you with disgust. She releases her hold. “Come, dear, no need to be agitated. We can always start a war after everything is complete.”

Your father stops pacing and sighs. “You're right.” He glares at you. “Stick to the plan,” he orders. You recoil when his hand raises, but by some miracle he decides not to hit you again.

The two brush past you. “Make you sure you heal that unsightly face,” your mother calls. “We don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression, do we?”

The door to the study opens and then closes with a thud. Staring at the wall, you fall to your knees. Hand resting lightly on your cheek, you run on autopilot as you heal it. There are many memories of something similar to this happening. And each time you’re left to tend to yourself.

You can’t tell Malleus. Not yet. If you reveal your parents’ plans, they’ll make sure to bring you down with them. You’re not sure how Malleus would react if he finds out you were trying to control him. Anyone in their right mind would be upset if they found out the truth. He might be understanding, but you’re pretty sure Lilia and the others wouldn’t be.

And there’s still the issue of the weapon. In the story, your parents find a dagger that can kill anyone, including a being as strong as Malleus. Yūki is able to get their hands on the dagger before it can be used. Yet, the story never explains where or how your parents got this magical dagger. It also glossed over how Yūki was able to get it. You need to find out.

So even as your body shakes, you’re determined to take them down.

Tag list: @candlewitch-cryptic, @whatstheoccasion, @nimko, @yo4sblog, @mc-cos-charm, @mochiclouds, @41sh4

#twst imagines #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #malleus Draconia #twst malleus #malleus draconia x f!reader #malleus x f!reader #reader insert #scenario

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owlight · 2 years

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My request: Zoro, Luffy and Law reacting at gender neutral reader giving up their marine job to join them.

Thanks for requesting ,I love this sm I think we should have a marine join the strawhats,also sorry Luffy one is so long I love him,also just headcanons for this

Tags: Fluff ngl ,is mostly paltonic relationships with them!

Luffy ,Zoro,Law reacting to A GN!marine leaving Thier marine job to join their crew

Luffy

let's be honest he probably asked you to join him and you were 'damn why not' and decided to give up your Marine officer position and join him

strawhats propaganda be working so good ig??

- He is actually surprised but happy you Left the marine to join him

if crew says no ,he will be" ): plz guys they are so cool! They almost kicked Zoro ass In the fight earlier " and zoro will be like ''they DID NOT "

he is so goofy ,he will accept you joining with open arms , welcome to the crew

you will be the new member who will die from heart attack everytime luff pull the crew and jump from a high building, welcome to the team

-you will most likely get along the most with Franky because he will the most understandable of you begin a former enemy (a marine) since he kinda also was that himself

also robin was bit suspicious of you at first but she warmed up to you quickly since she low-key trust Luffy judgement (she shouldn't)

good luck getting rid of Luffy ,he will up your face everyday till he eventfully get used of you begin around the ship

if you joined cuz you're in love with him, good luck with making him realize that ,he is as bright as a rock when it come to these things and will take a long while for him to return those feelings

Everyone respect your gender neutral identity,Luffy a bit confused about it but he really Be trying his best

" HE/SHE GO BY THEY/THEM PRONOUNCE !!! don't disrespect them!!!!"

he is very supportive dw he will get the jest of it soon enough by nami beating his ass into remembering it correctly

you either going to join the no braincells team (Zoro,Luffy, Chopper) ,or the almost functional braincells team (Sanji , Usopp,Franky) , or the braincells (Jinbe,nami,robin) ,pick wisely it will effect your future with the crew and the adventures

10/10 best decision you made of your life

Zoro

You have to ask Luffy first and since Luffy have 1 braincell and he agreed quickly, Zoro was okay with you joining even though you were a former marine ,the more the merrier (?)

Will be very skeptical about you leaving for him(?) Why would you? He won't question it to you in your face ,but he is wondering often about your reasoning

joined cuz you like him? He is low-key flustered by that and he will not show it,he will eat his left leg before showing that he is flustered by that

joined cuz he inspired you and you find him awesome and so strong and inspiring and want to be like him? You're his new best friend ig ,he need validation, thank you giving him some

new sparing buddy which is him kicking your ass the whole sparing match and only begin apologetic cuz chopper is scolding him as he bandage you up ,but you don't care ,you look at Zoro with admiration anyway ,and that make Zoro heart soften a bit

you end up spending lot with time with him ,ya even convinced him to shower after every training session he have as you both talk while vibing fr ( everyone on the crew is so thankful for you)

you learn that he is secretly a very sweet guy ,which is not a surprise,the whole crew is very sweet,Zoro is really good at hiding it behind his tough personality

you both end up bonding over your passion for your dreams,his begin the greatest swordman and yours is begin the baddest bitch alive

He respects your gender identity fr ,he is like Luffy but more careful about it ngl

" good to know shitty swirly eyebrows won't bother you then" Sanji would give him a mean look " (y/n) still beautiful and I'm not bothering any-NAMI SWAAAAN YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL" smmmh

He is like a good companion,you try to make him not get lost,but end up getting lost together because he is too prideful to follow your direction (you were right about going left)

he find your present comforting and he like taking naps with you sitting next to him, keeping an eye out for him

two pretty best friends ( maybe more..?)

Law

impressed,Almost was going to tell you no out of pettiness but ehhhh you fought him well and actually managed to not be shambled into pieces (and You are kinda cute he had to agree with Shachi and penguin)

if you joined because you just want to join him in his journey and admire him,cool he don't mind ,the more the merrier

if you joined him because it's some love in first sight kind of reasons, he would be cool ,as long you respect his captain authority he doesn't care (on the insides he is a flustered mess)

he agreed,why not more helping hands in the crew ,good luck with the cleaning duty for the first month cuz he want to test your limits

you had no limits cuz you cleaned everything the first two hours and kinda went on to vibe with the crew, impressive but he grumpy cuz he was hoping to make you feel like the hard tasks

doesn't mind you Begin GN ,he have a mink as a right hand,the world have giant people live in,not even surprised by it ,he kinda even like it some of his crew already express themselves that way so good for you,you won't feel so out of place in this crew

he is a good captain and a very good friend you will learn that from interacting with the crew,he is very responsible and very understanding

if you fail a task , he would in fact guide you through it to how to be successful at it,he might be a past warlord and The surgeon of death,but he quite the good captain

he would like to spar with you from time to time cuz you're kinda nice to to look at but he won't admit that's the actual reason

he is like a cat,he slow blinks at you and he hope you understand he is begin affectionate with you ,you either get it and be happy about it or you wonder why tf is your captain blinking in Morse code 'you need frogs' so much

the crew is betting on when you both will end up realizing you like each others , hopefully soon

Unfortunately it will take literally 2 years of slow burn,two almost death experience to have law kinda realizing that,unlike you ,you kinda realized that after seeing him shirtless once

M sick again 🫶 went to ER nd they said I was too dehydrated ,smh,,, hopefully this post good for now

#one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece fanfiction #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #luffy d monkey #luffy x reader #law x reader #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro x you #owl writes #luffy x you #monkey d. luffy x reader #monkey d luffy #my beloved #anonymous

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cookinguptales · 1 year

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Y'know, I post a lot on tumblr about what a shit Guillermo is, and I stand by that. He is a marvelous little shit. But honestly I only talk about it so much because people on tumblr and AO3 send me so many messages about how he's never done anything wrong in his life. When I'm presented with the opposite, that Guillermo is uniquely awful and selfish and he victimizes the poor uwu vampires (thinkpieces that you saw a lot more often during s3) I am fully like "I STAND BY EVERY DECISION THAT FOOLISH MAN HAS EVER MADE."

Being real with you, I feel like talking about Guillermo like he's totally blameless and put-upon or like he's totally selfish and wholly evil flattens a really complex and interesting character. He's selfish and self-involved and cruel and sweet and insecure and giving. He's all those things, and I love that about him.

I love Guillermo as a character because he has these carefully constructed categories in his head, these rules and boundaries that he sticks to like glue. He contains multitudes, and it's because he carefully follows the rules he has in his own head, even when they don't make a lot of sense to others.

I think the best way to think about Guillermo's actions is to think about him having two very different sets of rules for in-groups and out-groups. He will bend over backward for people in his in-group, will be the kindest, most patient, sweetest man in the world -- but he can be downright vicious to people in the out-group.

This is a pretty common occurrence IRL, though not always to the degree that Guillermo does it... I mean, you're going to treat your best friend's birthday differently than you're gonna treat a stranger's, right? When you start seeing it happen the way Guillermo does it, though, it's often to create and preserve power. You see it in politics, high school cliques, religion, etc.

For example, let's take new religious movements (or NRMs, i.e. "cults".) They are famous for this behavior. When you create distinct in-groups and out-groups and can behave very differently towards both, you give your followers a strong incentive to stay in the in-group. It makes them feel like they're the "good" ones, the superior ones, the ones with power. The ones that belong. And when they see out-groups being mistreated, well. No one wants to be in the group with no power who's mistreated, y'know? It simultaneously gives people in the in-group a sense of community, belonging, and social superiority and makes them afraid to leave.

But really, you see it all the time. If you have a "good" group that you can never harm and a "bad" group that you can do anything to, that really helps prop up power structures in a lot of ways. Look, I'm not going to get into this too much more because you don't want a freaking academic lecture on your dash, but suffice it to say that I think Guillermo is largely using his in-groups and out-groups in this way, mentally speaking.

He has in-groups (his friends, his family, his boyfriend, the vampires he lives with) and out-groups (literally everyone else, including other vampires) and he badly mistreats the out-groups because he does not want to be one of them. I've noticed he's particularly awful to human prey that reminds him of himself (nerdy, socially awkward, powerless, virginal) and I think that's because he wants to distance himself from them. He wants to make sure no one mistakes him as being part of that group, so he very strongly pushes them into his out-group by not only killing them, but making fun of them and often making sure they suffer before they die.

And then he's even more slavishly devoted to his in-groups, partially because he does truly love them, but partially because he desperately wants to stay in those groups. Or because he's trying to protect his own hide.

I don't mean to say that every kind thing he does is calculated -- I do think he very genuinely wants to make the people he loves happy -- but there's a sort of desperation to it sometimes. When he does these kind things, sometimes it's this desperate bid to be valued and accepted by others in his in-group, which makes him feel like he's earned his place there.

I've noticed that Guillermo has a tendency to do things for people to stay in their good graces (buying his mom a fridge, doing chores for Nandor, giving Derek money) when what they actually want is his time and attention. There often is a vibe that he's trying to earn his way into a group he doesn't quite feel entitled to when actually he's already very much a part of the group and he just needs to maintain those relationships. It's insecurity, frankly, and a nervous sort of self-preservation.

In fact... I'd say that Guillermo's greatest emotional struggles often come when trying to reconcile (and protect) different members of his in-group because he's trying to reconcile (and protect!!!) the different parts of himself.

Like... when he protected Jeremy, he was protecting a friend, but also the idea that some weak, virginal nerds are not prey. He had to protect this member of his in-group, partially because he loved him, but partially because he had to protect himself by extension. If Jeremy could be an exception to the predator-prey dynamics, so could he. Some humans could be valuable.

When he protected his fellow familiars during the familiar fights, he was protecting fellow humans whom he thought had "earned" a better life (and death) than prey humans, but he was also protecting the idea that a familiar could be loved and valued. He was protecting himself and the hope that Nandor would love him.

When he protected his family, he was protecting his beloved family members, but also the idea that vampires and slayers could coexist. Of course he doesn't want his family to die, but he's also doesn't want his hopes that he can have it all to die with them.

Let's all be real with each other here. Guillermo kills humans, and he does so without compunction. He is able to utterly dehumanize prey humans because he has a vested interest in emotionally distancing himself from them. But he gets kind of freaked out when the humans that he has mentally removed from that prey group (his friends, his family, people "like him") are not placed into that same exempt group by others. And this is definitely because he wants to protect those he loves!

But it's also because it means that he isn't special, either.

Let's talk about Freddie, who I think is probably the most complicated example of all this in the entire show. (Save perhaps Derek, who could probably get an entire post to himself because he went from out-group to in-group without Guillermo's consent.) When Freddie first arrived at the house, Nandor mistook him for prey. This understandably freaked Guillermo out, partially because he wanted to protect his boyfriend and partially because it was violating Guillermo's group dynamics.

(Insert meta here about Freddie representing Guillermo's ability to have a happy life outside of the weird, insular one he'd created for himself prior to s4.)

Freddie ended up being kind of special, though, because Guillermo considered him to be part of his in-group and Nandor considered him an out-group until he realized that Guillermo valued him. And then Nandor wanted him to not just be part of his in-group, but a portion of it separate from (but simultaneously representing) Guillermo. It's complicated!!

So we had Freddie 1 who was Guillermo's and Freddie 2 who was Nandor's, but... in the end, Freddie really belonged to no one but himself, right? In the end, he very literally chose himself. He left the -group dynamic altogether.

So Freddie is moving in and out of these groups like a fuckin' oiled-up eel that Guillermo cannot keep a hold of, and that really challenges his control issues as well as his ability to feel like he belongs in the in-groups he's created. It challenges his ability to feel worthy and loved and like he belongs anywhere. It challenges his ability to have faith that he'll ever become a vampire. Suddenly he does not control these groups anymore. If anything, they're controlling him.

While a lot of Guillermo's angst at the end of s4 was about, y'know, normal heartbreak... I think a lot of that was happening, too. He was really seeing the abrupt overturning of the carefully established rules and groups and boundaries and power differentials in his head, and that made him just want to be free of the whole thing.

So he took a step out of all of his preconceptions about what he did and did not have to do to belong in these groups, and took hold of his own destiny.

...unfortunately.

Guillermo's decisions in s4, both regarding his family and his turning, really did permanently shake up a lot of the group dynamics in the show. For better? For worse? (FOR GOOD...? lmao) It's hard to say, honestly. But I'm eager to see how he irons it all out in his head!

Our able-to-self-justify-literally-anything bitch. 💜

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raayllum · 11 months

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Your Aunt's Spirit In You :: Callum & Amaya, a Meta

Was thinking about these two due to writing a scene between them in a recent oneshot, and then about the similarities they have, so thought - why not? Especially for a shorter meta than more of the long form ones I have siting in my drafts, let's talk about Callum and Amaya

As always, SIMILARITIES first:

Both loyal siblings to a monarch (Sarai through marriage, Ezran through birth)

Taken captive and interrogated by elves

Willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the group (special shout out to 3x01 which puts this back to back * )

* This is slightly negated by Rayla, not Callum, being the one to actually risk her life (as she talks Callum out of risking his own quite easily) whereas Amaya goes through with it. Still, Callum's sentiment and willingness is there (and on multiple occasions), so it's included. ("I need you to kill me" being another example)

Skeptical, distrustful, and good at reading people (even if Callum changes his mind about Rayla and Amaya does not about Viren)

Good planners / generals (see my General Callum tag here)

Often times more decisive than their partner (Rayla often hesitates, which Janai worries about as well) and encouraging them to prioritize their own needs as well above just their 'duty'

In 4x01, they are both worried about secrets (as a result of war based trauma) and potential attacks, even though both 'secrets' wind up being something positive and wonderful (successfully for Amaya - as she is proposed to and happily rejoices with her partner - and an attempt for Callum, as it leaves him forlorn because his partner is still missing)

Slightly darker sense of humour, maybe ("Now that you'll officially be my little brother, I'll try not to beat you up too much" + "Besides, she only eats three people a day. It's a small price to pay for peace")

And last but not least, there is Janai's assessment of their similarities (aka the meta title) that accompanies the soundtrack piece of "Like Aunt, Like Nephew".

Callum does often undertake dangerous quests / make dangerous choices (travelling across the world to return a dragon egg, throwing himself off a mountain, running into what he believes to be a trap, etc). This is, however, much like how Aaravos' assessment of Callum in 4x04 ("and my favourite, the human mage, already tainted by darkness, and destined to play right into my hands") is true for all of his mage pawns up to that point (Ziard, Claudia, and Viren in the past), true of just about every character in the show. Which makes sense - in an action/adventure fantasy show, most of the characters are going to have to be okay about throwing themselves into danger just by proxy of genre. In most of the trio scenes where someone is hurling themselves into danger, it is usually Rayla first - and then Callum, stepping up if/when she can't do something on her own.

As you might've noticed while there are similarities, outside of their skepticism and willingness to sacrifice (which is again, something most characters in the show have) there aren't that many that go beyond more surface level "these events both happen to these characters," as Amaya and Callum's mindsets aren't that similar, which are the bulk of the main differences we're going to talk about next.

DIFFERENCES:

Prejudice (or therefore lack of)

Amaya is very prejudiced against elves ("Moonshadow elves - the worst kind [...] Don't worry, Callum, I've slain monsters before") at the beginning of the show, whereas Callum never is. He still holds some poor misconceptions (mostly the blood drinking) but he still always sees them as 1) people and 2) therefore worth reasoning with: "Can't you just make peace with them? You don't want to die, I'm sure the elves and dragons don't want to die, so everyone agrees"and his first conversation(s) with Rayla.

2. The ways in which Amaya is similar to Viren are largely different than the ways Callum is similar to Viren.

Amaya devoted her life to safeguarding the Breach and their kingdom's borders, a form of security that Viren was worried about and continued to be worried about once he came into power. Amaya and Viren can both be a little two-faced, willing to present a trusting front and hide their ulterior motives (most notably from each other, and something Rayla has in common arguably with both of them), whereas Callum is incredibly honest most of the time and is very bad at covering up his emotions (something he also has in common with Rayla, since although she often tries to cover things up, she routinely fails at it).

Viren is willing to send his children after the princes in spite of the danger of their secret missions ("if you must choose, choose the egg") and Amaya is willing to hold the Breach rather than go after her nephews, leaving Corvus to do so in her stead. This is very different than Callum, who automatically and often times insists on going along with his loved ones (Ezran, Rayla) when they're embarking on dangerous journeys of their own.

On that note, Amaya and Viren are both also taken captive by the Sunfire elves and given the Trial of Light, with very different outcomes that S5 also reaffirms for Callum, so let's talk about it:

3. The Light Will Decide Your Fate

During Janai's interrogation of Amaya, and Finnegrin's interrogation of Callum, the two respond very differently. Both Janai and Finnegrin want information, but Janai doesn't resort to torture even when Amaya remains entirely silent on any and all matters, and Finnegrin keeps pushing at Callum (and Callum keeps giving up information) even if he doesn't give up what Finnegrin wants, at first.

Amaya's trial is specifically about whether or not she's "pure of heart" or, more accurately, whether or not she's done dark magic. Her interrogation and test, if you will, ends with her passing it - to Khessa's surprise. Amaya is not a mage, and certainly not a dark mage, and is therefore going to interact and approach the world differently than a mage - human or elven or otherwise - would. Callum's interrogation and test is also about dark magic, and he does not 'pass it', lmao.

Because where Amaya had to confront the Light, Callum had to confront his Dark.

This is where we get into more of the mindset differences.

Amaya is willing to cut her losses (if she cannot successfully defend the Breach, she will destroy it, circa 3x01) but Callum almost never does (staying too late in the Great Bookery, for example; holding onto hope that Harrow might be alive even when he knows deep down he knows better, etc). Amaya refuses to give up the Sun Seed for her partner's life, knowing it safeguards a bright future and is what Janai would want her to do; Callum does give Finnegrin the spell and does dark magic to save Rayla, even when she wouldn't ultimately want him to do either of those things on her behalf. 5x08 makes this comparison particularly clear by juxtaposing these two deals and scenes throughout the episode.

Part of this is because, as Amaya acknowledges, for a great deal of her life, she and Callum had very different ideas regarding strength - which is exactly what allows these perspectives to switch:

When she died, I felt lost and weak without her. I hated feeling that way, so I learned to be strong alone. Stoic, strong... and lonely.

But the last two years have changed everything. Meeting Janai, falling in love, I am stronger than I ever was... because we are stronger together. And I realized that was the real truth of me and Sarai, too.

Callum has, up until about halfway through 5x08, always believed that he (and others) are ultimately stronger together, and we see this reflected through the first four seasons and into season five. However, the back half of 5x08 begins to greatly challenge this. Meanwhile, this is something that both Amaya and to a more detailed degree, Rayla, have had to learn. Because, when it comes to how they've responded to trauma, Amaya and Rayla are more similar to one another (and arguably to Viren in this way) than Amaya is to Callum, who by and large has a very different trauma response.

CONCLUSION (??)

While Amaya and Callum do have some similarities, Amaya is not extraordinarily similar to either of her nephews - Callum included - due to their differences in occupation, mindset, and trauma response. The similarities they do share are mostly things that they each share with Viren (such as skepticism) or share with most of the general cast (intelligence - although Callum is a standout - and bravery, for example). Most of their parallels, therefore, are put there to provide contrasts within similar themes (mostly in S1, 4x01, and 5x08), and they do not parallel more than any particular pair of characters in the show (seriously, you could throw a dart and probably find parallels between almost anyone, the show is so steeped in them, so looking at consistency and structure is key). Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.

—Dragons out

#tdp amaya #tdp callum #tdp meta #the dragon prince #tdp #analysis series #amaya #punching someone in the face is not a thematic parallel in this show i'm sorry to report #however these two do have their similarities & differences #analysis #arc 1 #arc 2 #multi

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beigepear · 3 months

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hinata shouyou's natal chart

to celebrate hinata shouyous birthday, this year i decided to analyze his natal chart. i am convinced that astrology is something furudate has thought through, and it's immensely fun to look at their characters under this angle. when i want to study this aspect of the characters, i use sidereal charts, because i believe that's what furudate used when they assigned the birthdays (this means that if you look up hinata's natal chart without specifying that it has to be sidereal, it's going to be quite different). i also have a theory about his birthtime (and, consequently, his ascendant and natal houses), but i don't want this to be infinitely long, that's why i'm only going to be talking about the five personal planets: sun, moon, mercury, venus, and mars.

his sun is, obviously, in gemini. gemini is an air sign, and air is about communication. it's also a masculine (more active than reactive) and mutable (versatile and flexible) sign. the majority of the narrative we are watching the world through hinata's eyes, but mostly it's him actuating the change, influencing others. gemini suns often struggle with being tolerable at dozens of things, instead of being very good at one thing (because they are so curious, they crave to be everything at once). until hinata hones his routine and takes a more mature approach to volleyball, we see him sometimes overwhelmed with how many things he wants to try and how much he still needs to improve.

this versatility also makes gemini suns divinely good at communicating with different people. they love being with people, and it's of no consequence if those people are strangers, aren't easy to talk to, or don't like them. since gemini is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication, gemini suns' very egos are nourished when they let their thoughts flow, and their genuine enthusiasm makes gemini suns fun to be around. and, well, it's hinata shouyou's thing to gain trust of the most wary and closed-up people. geminis dislike being bound to one place, one person, one philosophy. their curiosity, their agility, and their constant search for something to stimulate them mentally push them to travel and move often.

the moon in astrology gives light to a person's immediate emotional reactions, as well as hidden things about them, such as home life, core beliefs, memories, inner psyche. hinata's moon is in leo. leo moons experience emotions strongly, they are extremely sincere about it and highly sociable. i would argue that hinata's moon in leo not only enhances the mercurian influence of gemini sun; it puts a certain warmth to it. gemini suns are often accused of being hypocritical, but people would never accuse hinata of faking his curiosity in each and every person around him, because he's wholeheartedly emotional about his affection for people. it's also true that leo moons, not unlike leo suns, will blow up immediately and die when they are not given attention—they need audience—but their innate charisma makes it barely possible to not love them anyway.

in a wrong environment leo moons can become conceited and overbearing, which makes me think that hinata had all the potential to become the king of the court in middle school if he had more resources.

his experiences and his surroundings constantly humble him, which pushes him to learn. in astrology leo is ruled by the sun, and i doubt that hinata believes he's the most important thing, but it's very likely that he's emotionally aware of how resonant his presence is. everything and everyone in the narrative revolves around him and his emotions quite literally.

now, this is where the sidereal chart gets substantially different from the tropical chart.

mercury in astrology is defined by mental processes, ideas and decisions.

in sidereal astrology, hinata's mercury is in taurus. people with this placement have a certain rigidity to their thinking. it's almost impossible to convince them to focus on something they don't care about, but if they consider something of great practical importance, they are an immovable object. hinata may seem

overall easily distracted and excitable, but if it concerns his main point of interest, all resistance is vain, proven by his fight with kageyama in the training camp arc.

mercury in taurus natives also tend to be excellent observers with good memory.

the planet of venus tells us about a person's approach to personal relationships (especially romance), but also their aesthetic values and comfort. hinata has his venus in taurus. people with this placement are grounded in how they love, they enjoy physical contact and appreciate comfort. because they are so sensual and earthy about everything they love, these people are loyal to the bone. this placement makes me sad because it reminds me how hard it was for hinata to adapt when he first moved to brazil. for a taurus venus it's a great upheaval to lose, albeit temporarily, something they are used to and something they loved!

venus is "at home" in taurus, meaning the planet doesn't have to strain itself for resources. in simpler words, this is an area where hinata doesn't have to struggle, but his venus is retrograde, which means it takes him a little longer to figure out how to utilise the resources he naturally has in this domain. i think it manifests beautifully in the way he calms his energetic ego with a steady routine when he gets older.

hinata's mars is also in taurus, completing his taurus stellium. mars gives information about a person's modus operandi, how their desire becomes ambition becomes action. as contrasted with his venus, hinata's mars is in detriment, meaning he might be slowed down in this area by obstacles and limitations. taurus mars is forced to fight! they are not openly aggressive, but again, an immovable object. hinata is faced with one challenge after another, but he's unyielding. he may appear frantic (especially when he's younger), but as he grows and as we learn more about his nature, it's not that hard to see that he's steadfast, he's been unrelenting since the very moment he got into volleyball. and that's taurus mars to you—it's purposeful, it's stable in its desire.

hinata's taurus stellium clashes constantly with his agile gemini sun. while gemini is mutable and masculine, taurus is fixed and feminine. his ego screams at him to go, go, go, to jump from one thing to another, but his earthy nature is wiser than that, and it catches up with him as he gets more mature. when he learns to play in spite of the sun, the wind, the sand resisting him, he learns to tame his own overzealous ego. and hinata's unrecognizable when he's playing for msby, but at the same time he's still very much himself. there's a new tenacity to him, but he's the same magnetic presence as always.

#haikyuu #hinata shouyou #hinata shoyo #haikyuu!!#happy birthday shouyou the light of my life

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dandylovesturtles · 1 year

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For @thecaptainstevie , Future Leo & Present Leo, trick

Doing it this way so I can keep the ask in my inbox in case I want to do any of the others later. Some of these are duos that other people have asked for, though, so I'll probably answer those and circle back to this if I have another idea.

I did see this prompt though and knew what I wanted to do. I don't think I've seen this particular twist on the Future Leo/Present Leo relationship, or at least haven't seen it very often.

CWs: sibling death (mentioned), discussion of the bad future timeline

Enjoy!

---

Leo's in the sewer tunnel by the wall, leaning forward so his shell doesn't touch, scrolling through his phone. Leonardo can't see what he's looking at from here, but it's probably Instagram, based on what he remembers.

He clears his throat a little awkwardly. Leans on his crutch and waits to be acknowledged. The still-healing wound in his side throbs, but he doesn't like how foggy the painkillers make him so he doesn't bother.

Leo's got his own crutches and his own wounds that Leonardo hopes he's taking medicine for, but Leo doesn't want to listen to him, so he doesn't bring it up.

Leo sighs dramatically, eyes not moving from his phone screen. "You're really bad at taking hints."

"I'm really good at ignoring hints," Leonardo rebuffs. He doesn't go any closer. "Come on, April's here and she brought Chinese."

"They couldn't just text me that?"

"I wanted to come talk to you."

Leo scowls and scrolls through his phone with more fervor. Leonardo rubs the back of his neck. Geez, why is this so hard...

"I know you want me out of your hair," he pauses for Leo to point out that they're bald, but he does not, so Leonardo continues, "but I'm stuck here until this wound heals. The least we can do is pretend to like each other. For everyone else's sakes."

"I already promised Raph that I wouldn't pick fights with you," said Leo with a petulant tone. "It'd be easier if you wouldn't come bug me."

Leonardo sighs. Maybe he should just drop it here, but every time he thinks maybe Leo will warm up to him, the temperature gets chillier.

"...Can I just ask why you hate me?"

Leo stops scrolling. He's quiet for so long Leonardo thinks he should just leave, but finally Leo speaks.

"From how Casey tells it... you were incredible. The greatest ninja to ever live. I didn't know how I could live up to that." Leo finally looks at him, and his expression is distinctly unimpressed. "Now you're here. Just a sad old man with nothing left."

Leonardo tries to let it slide off him. Like always, he pulls for a joke, a habit that he's never grown out of. "Okay, sad, I'll give you, but old? Splinter's older than me."

Leo doesn't laugh. He just regards Leonardo coolly and says, "Mikey died opening the time portal."

It's not a question, but Leonardo answers anyway. "Yes."

"Because you asked him to."

It rubs at a nerve still exposed. "I had to. He knew the plan, we talked about it before-"

"It was still your decision." Leo straightens as high as he can, even on the ground, even with his cracked shell and injured limbs. "You ordered Mikey to die."

Leonardo can't say anything to do that.

Leo grabs his crutch and pushes himself to his feet. He's angry; Leonardo can tell from the set of his shoulders and the fire in his eyes.

"How many others died from your decisions, huh? Donnie? Raph? April?"

Every name is a stab to Leonardo's heart. He's silent, doesn't bother to defend himself, doesn't bother to explain because what does it matter? They're all dead, Leo's not wrong there.

He's not going to use their sacrifices to win some kind of argument.

It's not satisfying to Leo, though. He squints up at Leonardo's face, challenging, like he wants Leonardo to push back, prove him wrong, and Leonardo leaves him wanting.

"...You're a failure," says Leo finally.

Leonardo looks down at him, and smiles sadly. "And you're a hero."

Leo scoffs. Swings his crutch to maneuver past Leonardo and back down the tunnel.

"My little brother died to send me a message, and I almost got everyone killed again anyway." He gives his head a shake. "Some hero."

He's retreating now. Leonardo fumbles, says, "Leo-" and Leo raises a hand in dismissal.

"Don't worry, old man. I'll smile for everyone else."

Then he's gone around the bend ahead.

Leonardo sighs, and follows him back.

#rottmnt #rise leonardo #future leo #cw sibling death #mentioned #dandy trick or treat #LITERALLY FORGOT THE TAG ON THE VERY FIRST ONE #this is going great

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roll-for-gaslight · 2 years

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I feel like there's something about this being the fairy-tale season and almost every character having the concept of childhood play a pivotal role in their story. Red and Pinocchio are the most obvious because they're still children and they are actively fighting against the role of obedience so often blindly given to children in stories with no more complex thought than "children should be obedient". Ylfa who is experiencing the horror that is female puberty, of growing up a woman. Ylfa who is learning to have a voice of her own rather than letting authority figures speak for her, who says "I might try to defy you every now and again" and is growing to be big and bad but at the same time is just learning to make connections to other children. And Pinocchio who has only ever been around other children and latched onto people who he thought would take care of him. He never wanted anything but to be a kid and be taken care of, and no matter what he does he's always tossed aside and treated badly. And there's not even a good reason for it, the world just sucks.

But what about Rosamund? Rosamund, who is a princess who has been taught by everyone her whole life that she's only valuable if she's beautiful enough to get a prince. If she's pretty and patient, she will be saved. Rosamund, who is only a child really, and her story echoes that of every young adult who was given similar advice in school that as long as they stay the path laid out for them everything will work out fine. She doesn't know who she is or what she wants and the system that is supposed to take care of her just isn't doing it. She's having to make her own decisions for the first time ever and she has no idea what to do with that.

And what about Gerard, who was changed into a frog as a young child and living as an animal forced him into survival mode. He was forced into cowardice, with no choice and no childhood and no one even looking for him. His whole self-worth is tied to someone who fell in love with him young, and then things got scary and of course he hid with the children. He basically skipped straight from child to adult with no growing up in between and so of course he wouldn't go towards the dogs. Of course he wouldn't go towards the giants. That's how you die, and when all you have in your life is your life you can't die. You have to hold onto something and a will to live is as good as anything. He's only now growing from a scared child to one of the grownups who wants to protect the children.

And then there's Timothy, who's story is about his son's childhood and trying to navigate parenthood and trying to remember how to support and care for children when they aren't who you expect them to be without erasing any part of them. He knows what it is to love unconditionally but not know how to show it and how to guide the people who are relying on him the most.

I don't even know what point I'm trying to make. I just can't get it out of my head.

#dimension 20 #d20 #dimension 20 neverafter #neverafter #d20 spoilers #neverafter spoilers #prince gerard of greenleigh #brennan lee mulligan #d20 pinocchio #princess rosamund du prix #ylfa snorgelsson #mother timothy goose #pib #Percy speaks #moss speaks

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raspberryfingers · 1 year

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A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 2)

WARNINGS: None

Word Count: 5k

—————

“Lady (Y/N)?”

I came back to myself suddenly, no longer stuck inside the memory of my introduction to Lord Tywin. Remembering that day made me even angrier than I had previously been. How on earth was I supposed to believe Baelish? Because either he was lying, or Tywin Lannister was desperate. Gods, the thought of denying him much needed assistance was a sweet one.

“Lady (Y/N), I understand that you aren’t fond of Lord Tywin, but I implore you to think not only of yourself. Look at your two siblings. Dare I say that they would very much appreciate this alliance,” Lord Baelish said, folding his fingers together in his usual manner. My eyes narrowed, because if there was one thing I would not stand it was being played. Not by this disgusting man, especially.

“What are you getting at, Littlefinger? I’m not going to play Lord Tywin’s dirty game, nor yours just because you think-”

“Lord Baelish, would you permit us a few moments alone? To discuss this offer amongst ourselves,” Margaery interrupted, letting go of Loras and instead reaching out to touch my shoulder. I wondered how she tolerated having to manage her two older siblings.

“Certainly, Lady Margaery. I would suggest that you take all the time you need, but it is also a rather urgent offer. Stannis intends to take Kings Landing, as you know,” he replied with his meek tone. Every time I heard Baelish speak I wanted nothing more than to press a blade to his throat and make him stop.

I watched him leave the room, though the air of disturbance he had brought with him did not disappear. The second that the door closed, Margaery sighed out and turned to me, placing both of her hands on my arms.

“(Y/N), I beg you to consider this. An alliance with House Lannister would be more than good for us, and if you’re honest with yourself you know I’m right. Sansa Stark’s betrothal to Joffrey is entirely irrelevant while her family is still in open rebellion, we could easily find a way to marry me to him. I could be queen. And Stannis Baratheon doesn’t stand a chance against both us and the Lannisters, which means that Loras would stop behaving… well, like this…” Margaery reasoned, pulling me aside and keeping her voice at a whisper. We both looked over at our brother who was sitting down at the table with his head in his hands. I’d never seen him like this before, and I couldn’t deny that it was distressing.

“I… I understand where you’re coming from, Margaery, but this is Tywin Lannister and Petyr Baelish. The second that the war is won they’ll turn on us for rebelling against the crown, don’t you see that? Littlefinger and chaos go hand in hand, he isn’t here simply to ‘help’ us. And I don’t trust that Tywin Lannister is being genuine; I would rather die than believe otherwise,” I pointed out, grimacing at the idea of having to work alongside him. Margaery could see right through me, though.

“I know how much you hate him, (Y/N), for the gods sake everyone in all seven kingdoms does. But you need to put that aside for House Tyrell. Remember that it took father almost an entire year to forgive you for what happened at Casterly Rock, and it was only because of grandmother's relentless convincing that he decided to let you represent House Tyrell in the Greyjoy Rebellion. Had it not been for that, who knows if he would’ve named you commander of our army. It is a title he can still revoke and give to Loras. However, if House Tyrell were to emerge from this war victorious because of a decision that you decided to make…” my sister reminded, not so subtly suggesting that if I played our cards right it might cement my position. I scowled, hating that she would use that logic on me.

“Margaery, I don’t appreciate what you’re suggesting,” I muttered in reply, not hiding my glare whatsoever. My sister often played just as dirty as I did.

“I know you don’t, and that’s why you’re going to listen.”

“It’s exactly why I’m not going to accept Lord Tywin’s offer, because it puts us in too much danger. I am not as foolish as Ned Stark, Margaery. When Kings Landing is safe and Robb Stark is dead, where will the lions turn their attention?” I questioned rhetorically, knowing that my sister understood all of the implications that came with us having chosen to back Renly.

“Their attention will be on us no matter what we do, sister. But if we don’t ally with Tywin Lannister, they’ll be even more likely to remember it. If we help them defeat these enemies, the Lannisters will be certain to show us at least a little gratitude. And when I marry Joffrey and provide heirs, they’ll be forced to forget it. Plus, we would be reinforcing his claim. How many other houses are rushing to do that?” Margaery pointed out, giving me a sort of pleading look. She was pleading for me to see her side of it. To do the ‘right’ thing.

“If we join now, sister, I would be no better than Lord Tywin himself—sacking Kings Landing and ordering the murder of all the remaining Targaryens just so that King Robert would not distrust him,” I insisted wildly, making an excuse more than anything. I would never admit that, but deep down I knew it.

“That is something entirely different, (Y/N), and no matter how good you are at lying it’ll never be good enough to fool yourself. You must put your anger aside. For me—for Loras! I am begging you, sister. I am begging you to be the reasonable, intelligent, and pragmatic leader that you usually are,” Margaery whispered, her stare so intense that I had to look away. I couldn’t recall a single time in my life that she had ever insisted upon something with such passion.

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and shaking my head to myself. Gods, what was I doing? I swallowed, blinking a few times and then taking several strides to my writing desk. It was dark, but the light from the hearth was enough to see what I was doing as I reached for my ink and quill.

I grabbed a sheet of parchment with a sort of resentment, taking my anger out on the poor material as I scratched down some irrelevant words of agreement and signed my name at the bottom of it. This was nothing but a formality, and I hated myself for doing even this.

Both Margaery and Loras watched me roll the thing up and seal it with golden rose. There was a sort of gratitude in both of their eyes, and for just a moment it made me less angry about what I was doing.

If I was going to go against my principles for anybody, it ought to be them. They were worth far more than Tywin Lannister, and that was a fact I had to continually repeat to keep myself from tearing the paper in my hands.

I approached my door, opening it and being met with Ser Elias’ armored back for just a moment as he moved aside. Baelish stood there, and the smug look on his pathetic face almost made me reconsider. From the moment that he had suggested Stannis and my siblings, he had won. He knew that, otherwise he wouldn’t have been smiling.

“Where does Lord Tywin intend to meet us?” I questioned, knowing that the upcoming battle was so restricted on time that we would need to meet somewhere. Littlefinger would’ve been instructed to tell me where, too.

“Tumblers Falls, my lady.”

I made a noise of affirmation, promptly handing him my scroll. He gave his little bow in return, and my stomach sank as I watched him go down the hallway. It felt as though I had just sold my soul.

I shook the feeling away, turning around and looking back into the room. My acceptance of Lord Tywin’s proposal seemed to have revived my younger brother, for he was on his feet and more alert than he had been in hours. The prospect of killing Stannis Baratheon was ringing around in his head, I supposed.

I sighed once more, giving him a nod.

“I’ll call the banners, Loras. Go wake father.”

—————

It was early in the morning when we met with Lord Tywin and Lord Randyll Tarly, neither of whom sparked any joy in those around them. As we had approached their camp and seen the banners flying, I wondered if this was perhaps the most miserable alliance in all of history. Although—even despite my deep anger and annoyance—the thought of Tywin Lannister and Randyll Tarly having dinner together and sitting in a grim, brooding silence was somewhat amusing.

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?”

I turned to Loras, raising both eyebrows to signal that I hadn’t entirely processed what he’d said to me. He sighed and opened his mouth to speak again. “(Y/N), you mustn't let this grudge interfere with things. Pretend that this is your first time meeting Lord Tywin, or- or remind yourself that it’s been 11 years since you last saw him. I cannot imagine he bears any intense animosity toward you, you were only a girl when it happened,” he said, attempting to calm me.

“Well I still bear intense animosity toward him, even if it has been 11 years. I pray that you understand, Loras, how little I truly want to be a part of this alliance. I am doing it for you and Margaery alone, because I am your older sister and it is my job to see to your happiness. If it wasn’t for the two of you, I would’ve gladly declined this offer,” I grumbled, shifting in my armor. I had been wearing it so much lately that I wanted nothing more than to be entirely free of it, even if just for one entire day.

“Well, if it’s any motivation, sister, I’m certain that father will be more than pleased once it’s all over. Perhaps he’ll even step back from our army entirely,” Loras added on, hoping that at least one thing could console me. I sighed, shaking my head.

“I would’ve found another way to make father entrust me entirely.”

“Perhaps, but this way is the best.”

As we entered the encampment, Loras and I instantly stopped all conversation, continuing on with just a few bannermen as the rest of our army settled in with my father. He was at the back, of course, just as most seasoned lords were. It seemed the older one got, the more comfortable they became leading men from the back. My father did it, and so would Randyll Tarly and Tywin Lannister. Loras and I would lead the vanguard, though. I had no doubt about that.

It was no difficult task to find Tywin Lannister’s tent, and the two of us dismounted rather gracefully. It was a sort of Tyrell appearance that we meant to keep up. People never suspect roses of anything, which was perhaps one of the most advantageous things about our house.

“Sister, if you should like it, I can speak with Lord Tywin in your place. I don’t want you to become too aggravated,” Loras offered quietly as we approached the entrance. I instantly shook my head.

“No, thank you. I’m hateful, not incompetent.”

The guards stationed outside Lord Tywin’s tent obviously knew who we were, for it did not take any real common sense to decipher us: two obviously rich young adults dressed in armor and green capes. They announced our names and then opened the flaps of the tent, holding them until Loras and I were completely inside.

As I entered, I instantly set my eyes upon my sworn enemy. I could not even process that this man was an ally, seated at the table and gazing down at his map. His hair was almost entirely white now, though it had a sort of blonde shine. His beard still had a bit more color, but was distinctly white along the edges. I noted the same piercing eyes when he did us the ‘honor’ of looking up.

“Lady (Y/N), Ser Loras, thank you for coming,” he said casually, only holding our gazes long enough to be appropriate. I suddenly noticed the two men beside him, and based on their attire realized that they were Kevan Lannister and Randyll Tarly.

“Of course, Lord Tywin. Nothing should please us more than an alliance to stop a common enemy,” Loras spoke first, using the term ‘us’ rather loosely in my opinion. I supposed there was some truth, though. I greatly sympathized with my brother and hoped that whatever grief he was processing would partly be healed by this endeavor.

“We intend to move out in just over an hour. We should be there in time to surprise them and attack before they manage to cross the Blackwater Rush and reach the mud gate,” Lord Tywin said, rising from his seat. Lord Tarly did the same, and gave the Old Lion a simple nod before leaving the tent. I assumed they had previously discussed something.

Kevan Lannister had remained at the table, and I found myself drifting toward the map and examining our plans for the evening. Seeing a fault, I looked up to find Lord Tywin already staring at me. He had not moved from the table, he had only stood up.

“Any criticisms for me this time, Lady (Y/N)?” He asked, voice icy and eyes equally so. I pressed my fists into the parchment as childish irritation found its way back to me.

“Yes, but I’ll try and make it constructive, my lord. Perhaps, by some miracle, you’ll be more responsive this time,” I scowled, trying my hardest to not be utterly disrespectful. I could tell by the look on Loras’ face that it was not a successful attempt.

“How reassuring it is, Lady (Y/N), to know that you’ve lost some of your vanity and ego,” Lord Tywin replied, face as firm as the stones that comprised Casterly Rock. Had I focused on anything but Lord Tywin, I would’ve realized that both Loras and Lord Kevan were open mouthed and ready to intervene should this conversation become explosive.

“The sentiment is mutual, Lord Tywin.”

The two of us stared at each other for a good minute, neither relenting or breaking eye contact. Just as Lord Kevan stood up to speak, the Old Lion decided that he did not want assistance in this conversation.

“I have earned my pride, Lady (Y/N). Forgive me, but I find myself doubting how truthfully the same can be said of you,” he not-so-subtly insulted, his jaw emboldening with his anger. I felt my own teeth pressing together just before I replied.

“Quite truthfully, Lord Tywin, and if you have the decency to not be an insufferable cunt for once and actually listen to me, perhaps tonight’s battle can be added to the list of achievements that both of us have the right to feel proud of,” I snarled, serving the Lord of the Rock the brutally honest statement that he was so seemingly asking for.

Loras attempted to put his hand out to me, but my sharp glare instantly made him freeze. Once he had, my eyes were once again on Lord Tywin. There was a glimmer of amusement, anger, and challenge in his eyes. I waited with angry anticipation for whatever he might say next.

With only a brief glance at his younger brother, something shifted. He decided to yield, simply moving around the table and standing beside me. I did not doubt he was furious, but I also knew that he understood the significance of our alliance and did not care so much to insult me as he cared to join the two largest armies in Westeros.

“Go on then, girl. What would you have us do?”

His usage of the word ‘girl’ sparked fury just as he intended, but I knew it was now my turn to compromise despite that. And gods, it took so much strength.

“Lord Tywin, based on the blocks you have laid out, I take it that you intend to have your troops north of the river?”

“Correct.”

“And that you would have Randyll Tarly accompany both the vanguard and my father south of the river?”

“Correct. What is your point?” Lord Tywin questioned, annoyance ingrained in his voice. I scowled, wishing he would learn to be patient for a single time in his miserable existence.

“My point is that Randyll Tarly has the smallest number of men out of the three houses. The narrow stretch of land in front of the mud gate is too small for Stannis Baratheon to land any significant number of men on. What he is obviously going to do is have men land south of the river and take smaller boats to the mud gate while cannons from his ships attempt to batter the walls. It would be wisest for us to focus most men south of the river, for while our ships combat Stannis’ we need to prevent the rest of his soldiers from reaching the mud gate at all. We ought to have Randyll Tarly go on the north side of the river and instead join our two armies south of it. That, plus our collective vanguard, will prevent the continued crossing of the river. Plus, King Joffrey’s men will also be at the mud gate to assist Lord Tarly,” I explained, motioning with the different sigil blocks as I did. There was something inexplicably exciting about battle strategies.

Lord Tywin thought about all that I had said entirely in silence, and after a moment he turned to look at his younger brother. Lord Kevan cleared his throat, nodding.

“It would be smart, Tywin. Lady Tyrell is correct in assuming that most of Stannis’ men will be south of the river. If we plan to move out earlier so we can beat them to it, we ought to make sure it’s effective once we do get there.”

There was another moment of silence, and then the older man beside me finally nodded. He seemed resentful that I had actually had a good idea, and it gave me satisfaction to see him bothered, even if it was subtly. Although, I had to admit that there was something else in his eyes. Almost like a look of revelation.

“There is something else, my lords. Loras?”

My brother stepped toward the table, swallowing a bit anxiously. I did not blame him, the environment was unreasonably tense.

“I have the armor of Renly Baratheon. I believe that- well, if I were to wear it, perhaps some of the men that decided to join Stannis after his death will believe that he has come back and join our side,” Loras explained, making both of the lions raise their eyebrows. It was a clever idea, it could not be denied. Loras and I had discussed it before leaving Highgarden.

“A clever thought, Ser Loras. Perhaps that will be helpful,” Lord Kevan nodded, turning to his kin. Lord Tywin said nothing but similarly seemed appreciative. I wondered whether or not he would look so content if he knew it had truthfully been my idea.

“Yes, perhaps. Kevan, would you inform Lord Tarly of the change in plans?” he asked his brother after a moment. Lord Kevan of course nodded and left us alone. I similarly whispered to Loras that he ought to prepare our own men to be moving out shortly, it was approaching noon and I expected it would be about half a day's ride to Kings Landing. We should want to be there at about dusk.

Then it was only Lord Tywin and I in the tent. He had moved away from the map and toward a separate table.

“Do you drink?” He asked suddenly, pouring himself a cup of wine. The question appeared odd to me, because of course I did. Who did not?

“Not before battles, my lord. When I have no height or strength advantages, my wits is all I have,” I told him, reasoning that perhaps he had meant to add ‘before battles’ at the end of his sentence. The Old Lion nodded.

“You’ve done well with them. Even if your temper has not simmered, nor your manners improved, you have at least become smarter,” he said, raising his cup to his lips. My eyes narrowed at him, and I wondered if it was possible for him to go even a minute without being utterly rude and annoying.

“Well, I would thank you if I was unaware of that fact. It is no wonder that I have gotten smarter, I have acquired more experience. And rest assured, Lord Tywin, it is only you that receives such ill-treatment,” I told him, fixing my gloves and flexing my hands to adjust. The leather was pleasant against the bitter cold, but the anger in me was causing a rising body temperature, and it was becoming uncomfortable.

“Ah yes, this treatment is reserved for insufferable cunts, is that it?” He shot back, hoping to make me feel small for calling him such a thing. How genuinely pathetic of him.

“Precisely. It’s good to know you still have your wits about you, Lord Tywin,” I affirmed, keeping my rock hard glare on him as he took a step closer and towered over me. I wanted to laugh, for he had attempted the same thing when I was a girl.

“You’d better be careful, Lady (Y/N). House Tyrell is an ally now, but that does not mean I’m going to accept your insults and childish behavior,” he said, speaking low and deep.

“You forget, Lord Tywin, that my armies greatly outnumber yours. I will fight with you for my family, but nothing could ever possess me to feel civil towards you,” I replied, not afraid of his icy eyes. I would not take disrespect, nor would I ever permit myself to feel an ounce of fear. I was the Nightshade of the Garden now, not some 14 year old girl.

Tywin stayed quiet for a moment, and then turned around and walked a few steps to drink from his cup. As he set it down, he looked back at me and sighed with a sort of frustration.

“Nothing at all?”

“Nothing.”

His eyes narrowed as though he was attempting to figure something out, and even if it was just a normal kind of observation, I immediately felt that he was scrutinizing me. It made me even more bitter, because after all, it wasn’t as though he was an adored man. Even he was not so prideful as to think that.

“May I ask you something, Lady Tyrell?”

“No.”

“Why is it that you continue to hate me so much? I understand that you did not appreciate being informed of the fact that at the age of 14 you were not all knowing, but since that day I have done nothing more to slight you or your family. You, on the other hand, have been quite vocal about your contempt for me even despite it having been 11 years. So I ask, why?”

I stared at him rather seriously for a moment before laughing to myself in disbelief. Was he truly being serious? Why did I hate him?

“I will be fighting in the vanguard with my brother tonight, Lord Tywin. I will see you after the battle, I’m certain. Men like you never actually partake in the fighting, after all,” I said, suddenly transforming into my sister as I gave him the most utterly charming smile that I could. He would expect anger from me, and so being polite would naturally frighten him more.

I turned around to leave then, but his voice was sharp and clear in my ears.

“I have asked you a question, Lady Tyrell.”

Lady Tyrell… it was a title that I enjoyed hearing, but for some reason—that I assumed was my hatred—I could not stand hearing it from him. Gods, it sounded horrible coming from him. I almost wished he would revert back to ‘girl’. I had a feeling, however, that even despite his anger, manners would prevent him from any long term usage of it. I was a lady, after all. If he was going to be cruel to me, he was going to do it properly.

“And I made it quite clear, Lord Lannister, that I have no intention of answering it. I will see you after the battle, my lord. Should you be in need of any more dire assistance from my family, you know where to find us,” I replied curtly, not giving him any opportunity to reply as I left his tent. I felt blood rushing to my face with a familiar anger.

Gods, I could not wait for this damned war to be over so I could return to Highgarden and never have to see the man again. And to be certain of that fact, I would pray for peace in the realm until he was dead. If only the gods would be so kind.

—————

“Does everything fit alright, Loras?” I asked, running my hands over his armor to make sure each part was properly in place. So far as I could tell, Renly’s armor fit him perfectly.

“Yes, it fits just as well as my own. I fear the only thing that might not fit so well is his helm. His head was always far bigger than mine…” Loras trailed off, reaching for it and holding it in both of his hands. I could tell that looking at the helm took him somewhere else, perhaps deep into a memory.

Seeing him this way calmed me, for it made this wretched alliance seem worth it. Even if Tywin Lannister was the worst cunt in all seven kingdoms, my brother deserved this. He deserved to avenge Renly and he deserved to shame Stannis. If this alliance meant he got those two things, then so be it. I would agree to it a million times for that, even despite my initial fury.

I watched Loras pull the helm on then, and even though it was not a precise fit, it was good enough that there was no need to worry about it coming off during battle. For a moment, it was almost like I was looking at Renly again, and it was an odd sensation. Renly and I had been on good terms throughout the time of our alliance, and I had been saddened by his death to be certain. Wars just made it difficult to properly mourn anybody.

“You know… even if I was only one of his knights and advisors, I was happy that way. Always with him, or at least near him. Gods, after my initial jealousy over his marriage to Margaery, that made me happy too. Their marriage would’ve meant he was never far,” Loras noted somberly, looking at himself in the mirror. Looking at Renly in the mirror.

It was an interesting thought, and one that I’d never considered before. The only reason that I had been happy about his marriage to Margaery was because it meant that it wasn’t to me. It had taken my father far too much convincing, and I was grateful that Renly hadn’t been offended by the second daughter. After all, he was a third son. Well, it was irrelevant. Margaery had always been better suited to marriage than I, and she had saved me from it.

“Oh Loras…”

I had wanted to say something more to comfort my brother, but I found that nothing would come out. I had not a clue what to say to him, much to my frustration. Loras only reached for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of understanding. I was glad that he understood my sympathies.

Just then, the flaps of our tent burst open and a young squire came in carrying my sword. The boy looked quite young, and it made me wary for a moment. How could a boy this young be trusted to do anything of real importance? Though, when I thought about it he was probably 14 or so.

“Lady Tyrell, your sword. It’s been… it’s been coated in the poisons just as you asked. Ser Elias showed me how to do it before we left Highgarden,” the boy said, laying the sword down on a table as he attempted to catch his breath. He’d been running around, I presumed.

“Thank you, young man. I’m certain Ser Elias taught you well.”

As the boy bowed his head and rushed out, I sighed. Gods, I missed Ser Elias. Even though he wasn’t anything close to a squire, he often took on such jobs because he knew that I trusted him more than anybody else. He had been with me when I’d learned how to use poisons and such as a young girl, and he’d picked it up just as quickly. There was never a doubt of his quality.

I moved over to the table, unsheathing my sword about halfway and inspecting the gleam. Yes, it had been done well enough. I pushed the weapon back in, a small smile emerging on my face. My use of poisons, especially when it came to weaponry, had become somewhat renowned throughout the seven kingdoms after the Greyjoy Rebellion.

My father had originally had no intention to support Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark, but I had seen the opportunity for what it was. After remaining loyal during the king’s own rebellion, I knew that our ties to the crown were among some of the weakest, and to help suppress the Greyjoys would strengthen them. Of course, I had only been 15 at that time, and so it had taken quite a bit of convincing from both me and my grandmother in order for my father to grant me the privilege of leading men. The agreement had been that I would be given a host of around a thousand men, and that I was only to lead from the back—something I had not honored whatsoever.

When the rebellion had been successfully crushed, many tales began to spread about the 15 year old Tyrell girl who, at the head of her vanguard, charged straight into the battle and fearlessly plowed through man after man. And not only had I done that, but I’d also instructed all my men to coat their swords in poison. Thus, I was granted both command of the Tyrell army—for my father could hardly refuse me after I’d proven my skill and improved relations with the crown—and the nickname ‘the Nightshade of the Garden’.

In my opinion, it was quite fitting. Well, fitting enough once I managed to look past the fact that nightshade is a consumed poison. I certainly had no desire to kill anybody that way. Not yet, at least. Spending too much time around Tywin Lannister and his family might be exactly the thing to change my mind. All I could do was pray that this war would be over soon enough, and the first step toward ending it would be tonight. For that reason, I prayed that my brother would get his wish: to see Stannis Baratheon dead by dawn.

TAGLIST:

@cheyxfu @lemonscoffee @groovy-lady

@ladysindar @vesta-ro @exo-nova @paola-carter

@prettykinkysoul

@fullmoonshadowwrites @kishie8

@the-desilittle-bird @dianilaws @girlonfireice

@muscari-fae @lostgirllulu

@abigfanofgameofthrones @smalltownbigheart

@frombloodandflesh @supernaturalismyreligion666

@thanyatargaryen @rey26 @hexandale @pkawaiidesu5394 @aimsro @gbatesx

#tywin lannister #tywin lannister x reader #a lion in the garden #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones #house lannister #charles dance #tywin x reader #asoiaf

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cant-really-remember · 1 year

Text

This all started with an already complicated meta and I felt like mine was getting lost at the bottom (it is a lot to read). I feel like mine, even though it references the original posts, can stand on its own. I also want to put it out again because I am still fleshing this all out and want to write more about cult/abuse survivorship and GO.

I want to add so much to this from the perspective of a cult survivor (born in).

Important things to know about cults, cult survivorship. (In this, Aziraphale = she, Crowley = he)

Cults:

A system that organizes people around a doctrine, a charismatic leader, or both. Akin to fascism, complete obedience is expected - as well as complete honesty (or at least you have to be honest about when you “stray”).

There is a theory about the psychology of cults, by Janja Lalich, that is called bounded choice (also the name of her book). This theory proposes that the insidious cult system can, essentially, hijack personal choice or “freedom” by requiring members to make decisions in a wildly skewed reality where there is no choice that would be good for the individual and is often harmful to them. From the outside, these choices can seem irrational, dangerous, or just plain awful - but within the confines of the cult, which is controlling the narrative and truths of the world for members, these choices are aligned with the “highest power”, “greatest purpose”, or whatever the doctrine is built around.

(So much more under the cut)

Cults are often highly organized and incredibly insidious, with hierarchies that maintain the status quo and power, with written texts that shape the way members see the world, with directions for how everyone should think about everything. You are not allowed to come to your own conclusions and, actually, doing that can actually be downright dangerous.

It’s really important to understand that the cult mechanism of being in complete control of the narrative causes people to build their ENTIRE identities around this cult narrative. Any threat to this narrative (someone showing you the hypocrisy of the group, the potential fall of the cult or leader, tangible proof that the world is different than you’ve been told) is FIRST met with denial and thought stopping. “I can’t think like this.” At this point, the member can circle back and strengthen the cult narrative they carry by dismissing/fighting what they just saw. Or they can let it in. They can take it into consideration.

But this, this consideration, can literally feel like pulling out foundation stones of your house. The cult worldview is the foundation on which the member has built their ENTIRE IDENTITY. You think, oh great, the cult member can leave and join the world and be so much happier. But imagine, you are a member of a cult who tells you that the air on earth is unbreathable for “good” people. The only people who can just walk around and breathe the air are terrible, immoral people - so you have to carry around a tank of oxygen with you everywhere to maintain your “goodness”. One day, your oxygen tank falls down the subway steps and rolls on to the track and gets obliterated by an incoming train. You are standing there and you TRULY ABSOLUTELY believe that if you breathe the air you will become a terrible, immoral person and even beyond that, since you are now a terrible and immoral person, you will lose everything you had ever known. You won’t belong in your community anymore. Do you breathe? Can you breathe? Will you die? Will you lose everything?

This obviously seems irrational and absurd — we all know the air doesn’t turn you into a terrible, immoral person — but that cult member believes it with every fiber of their being. So when you present them with evidence or proof of the cult narrative being wrong or hypocritical, this is what they are experiencing. You trying to take away their oxygen tank.

Cult survivorship:

Getting out of a cult is basically getting out of an abusive relationship. But you are in relationship with an entire community and a narrative of the world. If you know anything about abusive relationships, what is most important in leaving successfully is finding your “you” again. The “you” before the relationship and the abuse.

If you are born into a cult, there is no “you” from before. This abusive, twisted, often sadistic and violent narrative of….well, everything is all you have ever known. You don’t know what it feels like to be a “human”. You have little knowledge of the “real world”.

Leaving a cult you were born into is like going to a different planet. You don’t understand how things work, what people are talking about, how relationships function, or how (real and healthy) communication is important. You definitely don’t have any opinions about anything. You can scarcely figure out what to have for breakfast, imagine trying to make huge complicated emotional decisions. And realizing those emotional decisions are meant to be made on the basis of what good for YOU. You have never considered yourself first, you don’t know what that feels like and in the past it has usually brought pain or isolation or loss.

Framework

I want to set the framework that in my analysis Crowley is a born in cult survivor who was kicked out of the cult, then goes on to do the very natural thing called “cult hopping” - where you leave a cult just to fall into another one immediately - his new cult is less powerful, less organized, and less scary. Aziraphale is still very, very much in the cult she was born into. She is still a “true believer”. They are both grasping at “the world” to leave their authoritarian cults.

The absolute MOST DANGEROUS relationship for a true believer to have is one with a defected or discarded member. This is the case for multiple reasons:

- The out person can provide a different perspective (NOT allowed in a cult) and can often see the hypocrisy, abuse, and control.

- Cults often have their own “language”, this may mean in a literal sense of having made up words but usually it means that words have double meaning. An out person knows this language and can have an much easier time getting through to an in person because of this.

- The out person is a living, breathing example that you can have a life outside the cult.

- The cult will have spent an extraordinary amount of time undercutting the “goodness”, value, and morality of the out person. If the out person shows any kindness or humanity, this can serve to undermine the cult teachings and control.

- And the obvious reason that “fraternizing” with the enemy can lead to shunning, violence, or even death.

In terms of the 1967 scene:

If you read the OPs, there is discussion of who knows what and when. The first, and I feel, most important thing to know is that emotions are complex, layered, and always evolving and devolving - especially if you have the CPTSD of cult survivorship. CPTSD often creates a firewall between the victim and their feelings. Simply, they don’t know what they feel.

Within this framework, Aziraphale firmly believes that he “can’t” love Crowley. Like it isn’t physically possible. Within the narrative she lives in, this is not even a remotest of possibilities, it’s against the laws of Heaven and physics. And every time Crowley shows her the hypocrisy of Heaven, we see the denial as she is desperately clinging to her sense of “self”. But we also see the cracks in the foundation.

Over 6000 years, the cracks have been widening and widening and Aziraphale’s self is beginning to be defined by humanity and Crowley. She is trying to leave the cult for “the world” because she is realizing that in THAT world her love for Crowley IS actually possible. Not just from the surveillance/meddling standpoint, but from the realization that the physics of “the world” allow for an angel and a demon to be in love.

All the while, she is struggling — and I mean STRUGGLING— to chose something for herself. She doesn’t understand what it even means to put herself first. Like again, I mean she cannot conceptualize it. Choosing yourself doesn’t obey the laws of physics in the upside down cult narrative.

Soooooo, as the OP says - the holy water incident is the first time Aziraphale does something against the narrative she has been brainwashed to believe WITHOUT some type of plausible deniability. She is doing it because maybe, just maybe she can begin to even consider that it could even be possible that she could have feelings for Crowley. She is very far from knowing she is in love. Here’s where the complexity comes in - I do think she is very in love with Crowley at this point, but she will not let himself even consider it because letting it in could topple her house of cards.

—“we can dine at the Ritz”

Another important thing to know about people in cults is they are, by necessity, very romantic and optimistic people. You have to believe in all kinds of crazy shit and make invisible connections and make meaning out of nothing. So her romantic “dine at the Ritz” is not only a “I’m really trying to get out but I can’t see a way out now but I really am trying” but it’s also such a “true believer” thing to do…she has probably spent so much time fantasizing about the perfect date in her disassociative daydreams.

She is planning the perfect escape but keeps putting it off because she believes she can game the system or fix the cult or find a way to quietly slip out the back door. None of these things are possible in a cult. You cannot chose yourself and the cult at the same time.

—“I’ll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.”

Crowley, like always, is saying “GET OUT. Just RUN. I’ll run with you. I know it’s scary and painful and devastating, but I promise that it will be ok. I want to leave my cult, too, but honestly that would probably mean I would see you less or maybe die. So let’s do this together.”

Crowley knows that Aziraphale can’t fix it or get out peacefully. He is begging her to just pull the damn bandaid off. Crowley also knows the soul-crushing feeling of your entire life and world and everything you believe being shattered to dust. So he is endlessly patient and empathetic with the pain Aziraphale is going through.

—pause, “you go go fast for me, Crowley”

Baby girl can see what he is asking her to do. And it gives her so much hope. She can see him holding his hand out to pull her through the door. But she is still not ready. She cannot, yet, do the work and processing of her identity being built on lies and hypocrisy. She wants to continue to believe in good — and by proxy, evil.

I don’t think “you go to fast for me” is about Crowley’s lifestyle or that it’s getting too hot-n-heavy. I think it’s that he is (im)patiently waiting outside her door for her to leave her cult. Aziraphale knows that he is asking her to do, but she can’t even fathom it yet. She has to extricate her identity from Heaven (the cult) before she can leave.

Crowley wasn’t able to take his time and slowly turn away from Heaven - he was ripped from her bosom and left to rebuild himself year by year. His different hairstyles and fashions are not only about fitting in to humanity (which he adores) but he is practicing his new found personal freedom (limited by Hell) and rebuilding his identity on a new foundation. This is definitely a normal cult survivor response.

Where we are now

Instead of jumping into a idling car and flooring it, Aziraphale is trying to find her identity while still having the comfort of the cult. This is also a very normal cult survivor response. Trying to build herself and her outside relationships up so that when she leaves she has a soft place to land. But this is a very dangerous option…as we saw with the end of S2. You can eat food, listen to music, do all kinds of worldly things but if you aren’t truly rebuilding your identity on different foundations and without the cult influences, you can be drawn back in VERY EASILY. The deal with the Metatron is perfectly crafted to suck her back in.

The last 15 minutes of S2E6 is so familiar to me. It’s called hoovering. They suck you back in like a vacuum. They can do it expeditiously because they know EXACTLY where your buttons are, your hopes and dreams, what lies you will believe, what fears you have BECAUSE THEY PUT THEM THERE. If you don’t rewrite your cult identity, then you are still operating on the script you were given by the cult and they can write a new exciting scene that fits in ever so perfectly with your disassociative daydreams. They know you because they controlled the shape of your world and then observed you in it for your whole life. They didn’t allow you your own thoughts or to ask questions and now they have the “perfect situation” for you that will seemingly assuage both your cult identity and your outside influences. They can tell you EXACTLY what you want to hear.

And you fall for it, because the relief is enormous. Being in the good graces of the cult while also thinking you can do the things you want to do is literally the “perfect” situation. It looks like the painless path that will let you stay in denial but also feel like you have some semblance of choice. But, surprise, it’s a trick.

I think the moment outside the elevator when the Metatron admits to the second coming is the absolute “oh shit, I fucked up” moment for Aziraphale. She really thought she would get it all but again the cult lied and manipulated her and sucked her back in. At that moment, you hear a miracle sound. For the longest time I thought it was the Metatron putting some “spell” on Aziraphale, but I have come to be convinced that she is putting Nightingales on the radio for Crowley as a way of communicating.

Aziraphale is not the type to impulsively turn and run back to Crowley — but I think she realized she needed to tell him that everything he had said finally caught up with her in that moment and that she finally understands what the hell he was saying before the kiss. So she sends the song to the Bentley (it is already established that she has a strong connection with the Bentley and the Bentley can be felt/controlled from miles away by those with a connection) and then gives Crowley a glance that says “You were right. You were right. I was wrong. You were right.” and gets in that elevator gathering courage resulting in a smile that, to me, says “murder hornet in the beehive.”

Thank you @paperbunny and @zionworkzs for spurring this diatribe.

#good omens 2 #ineffable fandom #ineffable husbands #good omens #ineffable partners #crowley x aziraphale #good omens prime #good omens meta #go2 #cult omens #religious trauma #cults #cult survivor #can’t really go

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