#aite another reading here

[tuliptic]

My Way: Finding My Place in Adulthood

Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere, just keep going as I always have, this is my way.

Henlo adults here, this is another reading for y’all. This reading is specifically targeted to all adults: young adults to ease their minds; regular adults to get used to adulthood. Adulthood is really… Something… And this is coming from someone who’s turning 30 soon. I still have no grasp about what I’m doing, how I’m living my life, etc. Adulthood is still scary to me, though I have to say I’m seeing myself getting better and better day by day. Taking baby steps is important, as we all grow from what we experience.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: How am I supposed to move around in adulthood, being an adult? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1: Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere

One card to represent you: The World

I feel like there’s some sort of fear and enlightenment here. Some of you have an idea of what you want to do or achieve in your life, some of you know your life purposes, most of you are content with how your life is right now and are just going with the flow. However, all have a certain discomfort in common, which is fear of uncertainty. Most here may have earth influence in your chart, where stability is needed, where you are able to hold certain control over your own life. What if I do this and I could no longer go back? What if I give up my job and pursue something else? You have the answers to these questions, but you’re not ready to take the first step because of how certain you are that things will not go as you planned and hence, you’re in a standstill. (PS: Some of you may be into spirituality as well, and you might be called to use this gift to achieve enlightenment for yourself and the people around you.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Four of Wands rx

For some reason, I feel that… You expect difficulties. You don’t expect or believe good things can come to you without lessons or pain. You believe in fairness and balance, that amazing things can only come to you if you put in the effort and work hard. Hence, you tend to not take certain opportunities either because you think you don’t deserve it or you don’t think you’re capable of it. In a sense, I’d say that this way of thinking has caused quite some conflict and tension, not allowing you to enjoy the peace and security you usually like. What has brought you comfort in the past is now hindering you to accept new happiness in.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Seven of Cups rx

Seven of Cups is a card of illusion, but with it in reverse, it is a card of choice. This relates back to the first card pulled, the card to represent you. You know what to do, you are capable of doing it, but there’s fear holding you back. Or maybe, fears. To you, you’re not only jumping out of your comfort zone, but into a danger zone where you have no idea how to manage the risks. Accept your fears, let yourself fall, let yourself fail. Have courage, believe that you’ll still be able to stand up after the fall and grow better from it. You’ll be surprised with what you’re capable of.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Death rx

This card here is very self-explanatory: You fear change. That’s it. You prefer stability over anything else, and you fear losing control over what you have. What is yours needs to remain yours. This may stem from insecurities that were caused by traumas when you were younger, may it be people leaving you, or being disappointed by others, or something else. It has definitely affected your thought process, your understanding of the world and your way around it. The first thing that came into my mind was therapy, because there are some deep-seated issues that you may have. You’ll need to identify your fear, the root cause of it, work it out, and step out to try something new, constantly regenerating yourself on the way.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Nine of Wands

You’re resilient. You may not think so, thinking that how you function is just the norm and everyone else does the same. No, you’re different. You have gone through a lot of things and those experiences help you manoeuvre yourself around the present issues, and you learn as you grind through the challenges presented. People may see you as an inspiration with how you manage to not dim your lights through the darkest nights. You need to know that you have a side like this, and that you’re able to encourage others through you being you. Shine. Accept yourself and shine brighter, be the inspiration you’ve wanted to be. You’ll be surprised with how things will fall in place and come to you.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Eight of Wands

I’d say building connections would help you in the long run. Eight of Wands is a card that talks about action, which is… Again, self-explanatory. But what sort of actions should you be taking? In what field? Connections and networking. I’d say most of you have a way with words, or some may even have 3H or 11H placements. By building a web of connections, you’re able to gather information and help from various parties that will help you to get on the right track. Some may even push you towards the direction that you want to head to. Be proactive in making friends, talking to people, and taking the first step. Once you throw yourself out, people will know you and will be able to provide the support you need. And then you can vroom your way.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Five of Pentacles rx

One comforting message here is that difficult times shall pass. You may think you overcame something but there’s more to work on, which you’ll realise that the issue you face is still affecting your decision making as of current. You’ve got to review your past and learn your lessons, know that you can’t afford to stay in this mindset for long. This card acts as a sign that it’s time for you to move from feeling insecure to a more adjusted mindset, which will be prompted when you see new perspectives. You will be receiving messages from your guides and higher selves in various forms. Trust your gut feeling, believe in every reason that makes you feel better.

Overall energy: The Tower, Five of Cups rx

The themes of lesson, growth and replacing things and values that no longer serve you. Liberation will come to you when you move past that phase that’s holding you back. Hmm… Lemme reword myself. This pile gives me the feeling of something promising is coming, but you’ll need to go through the lessons (aka accepting that good things can come to you without your expected cost, it’s alright to fail, the need to find out the root cause of insecurities, etc). Life will present opportunities to learn, and will bring in new people for you to grow together. You know you are loved. If you don’t know it, now you do. Believe it.

.

.

.

Pile 2: Finally we begin

One card to represent you: The Empress

I would say that you have a gentle energy, you’re the person others go to when they’re feeling down or when they need some advice. You radiate a warmth that’s calming, providing a space of comfort for the hurt and wounded to rest and heal. You are intuitive, tho I have to say that your wisdom outshines it. It’s not just wisdom, it’s not just gentleness, but also a sense of belonging, a place where one returns to. Your intuition is what gives you the ability to see through things, people as well as the unknown. Some of you may have clair abilities, especially claircognizance. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Ten of Pentacles

I would say that you expect to build a life, build a family of your own, to be your own source of whatever you want. You do not want to rely on other people for things, especially financial abundance and happiness. You want to be your own provider so that you would feel secure with it, and that you’ll be able to contribute or give out what you have without needing to be conscious of how others look at you. There’s a hint of family themes among this, so it could also be you wanting to be the provider in your new found family without losing your own independence, if this makes sense.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Ace of Swords rx

It’s doable, but it’s difficult. I feel that there’s quite some conflict between you and your family, resulting in you wanting to build a new family or to have your own found family. There’s this tension in you that is blocking a lot of blessings, I’d say. There’s a lack of clarity and undefined goals, preventing you from achieving success and happiness (depending on what you define them as). You will need to review your expectations, to set clear and measurable goals, only then you’ll be able to see your progress and further decide on how you want to proceed or to make changes along the way. Do not try to cover up facts or find excuses. You know that it’s not going to help you in the long run. Face it, accept it, work with it. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Sun

Optimism is great, but being overly optimistic is not good. You tend to see the good side of things and may end up beautifying them, exaggerating them, or even fabricating them unconsciously. For some reason, I’m also seeing that you may be beautifying self-sacrificial tendencies, or attempt to attract people with your pain. You want to shine, want others to pay attention to you. Some of you may be prideful, but some would use whatever they’re “lacking” to attract attention. Example: Your friends use iPhone, and you use Android. Instead of saying you want to be different, you probably will go with the approach of “people who use iPhones are just keeping up with the trend and thinking that’s the higher end”, when in reality you can’t afford an iPhone. This is just an exaggerated example illustrated here for you to have an idea.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Death

Change is your forte. Some of you may not know it, but some of you do (and perhaps do not accept it). It’s not flexibility that we’re talking about, but more of an open-mindedness along with acceptance. Once you’ve overcome your weakness, you will be more open to listening to what others have to say, and forming your own opinion based on whatever information you’ve gathered (from others, from your own research, as well as updating outdated data). The transitioning phase will be smoother during then, when you shift from the old to the new. Right now, I’d say that there’s still a part of you who’s unable to accept that you’re wrong, or incorrect at certain things. There’s no fault in having pride over your knowledge, but if it is hindering you from improving, then you may need to work on that. 

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - The Emperor

Focus on your goals and what you want to achieve. For you, I’d say, one of your goals would probably be something that’s legacy related, may it be inheriting something (finance, career, skills, connections, etc.) or starting a new legacy (starting your own company, building network from scratch, starting to take up a very specific and niche role, etc.). I would also say that you’ll need to look straight ahead. The Emperor can’t afford to look around, only focusing on the path that’s in front of him where he tread carefully but boldly, carving the steps out for his people to follow (somewhat a legacy too). Do not be distracted, do not easily give in to temptation.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Eight of Cups rx

First thing I’d like to say is that your journey is going to be lonely. It’s not just going on that journey alone, but it’s something akin to a burden or a mission that you can’t tell anyone. You may have tried telling a family or a friend about it, and they don’t think it’s a big deal, resulting in you swallowing the pain alone, no longer willing to trust. The disappointment and disillusionment has uhhhh thicken around you. Think of them as fogs around you, and as they thicken, the more difficult it is for you to see your path. That. Communication with boundaries is very important for you right now, where you can put a balance between the socialisation and exposing yourself thoughtlessly. It’s difficult for some people, where you unknowingly overshare too much. Learn from it, find out a way that works for you. Open yourself to things, allow yourself to be open to inspirations from things and people around you.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Swords rx

You’re strong, knowing where to go and how to reach your destination. Just that whatever that’s happening around you is preventing you from moving forward. You’re holding a lot of things back because whatever situations you’re in, but your passion and faith in life is strong enough to support you. You are doing your best with whatever you have right now, looking for opportunities in life’s challenges and learning the lessons. It is a difficult time, but have faith that things will turn for the better. Prepare your boat, and once the wind blows, set sail.

.

.

.

Pile 3: No matter what I’m going my way, to the place I’ve dreamed of every night

One card to represent you: The Chariot

I would say that you’re someone who’s goal oriented. You know what you want and you'll work towards it. I would also say that you may be impatient at times, wanting to achieve things in a short time. It feels like you feel that you're running out of time, especially when you compare yourself to your peers. For example, people your age have been talking about career advancement while you're still figuring out what to do, or your friends are married with kids and you're still single and feeling miserable. You know you're on the right path at your own pace, and you appreciate your days and blessings, but sometimes you just feel anxious about being “left out”. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Three of Swords rx

You expect yourself to be healed from your wounds and traumas soon. You want it quick, you want it urgently, and you’re pushing yourself far more than you can deal with at the moment. You probably may have gone through some childhood traumas and you’ve left them as they are. It may be due to the society or environment you grew up thinking that whatever you experienced was normal (Asian families, perhaps?). You thought vulnerability was a fault until recent years, where you learn to accept and honour them, and from there you proceed to heal your inner wounds. You may have thought that once you’re done with Phase 1, you can immediately complete Phase 2 of your healing, and… Sorry to break it to you, it’s not gonna happen that way.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Two of Swords

It feels like you’re asking yourself the question: Am I healed or not? And your answer to it is either yes or no. Which… Is not how healing works. Healing is a process; a journey, not a mathematical equation which is either right or wrong. You may think you’ve been healed but in reality, you may not have achieved that yet. You’re not seeing a lot of things yet, which is why you need to rely on your senses, especially hearing. You need to learn to listen to the whispers of others, may it be your friends or your guides. You are not alone, you have people accompanying you through this journey because you are loved. Healing is not linear, so take your time.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Fool rx, The Devil

I would say that you have expectations and you may think you’re living up to that, believing that you’re better and you live like it. … Lemme rephrase myself: You think you’re alright and that you’re living as how you expect yourself to be when you are not. It’s like you’re putting on a mask to deceive yourself and to show others that you’re doing fine. There’s this saying that you’ll need to fool yourself first if you want to fool your enemy. That’s you. You’re pretending and putting up an act, which will eventually cause your downfall to be greater than what you’ve experienced. Your insecurities are devils in disguise, which you probably know of. Now that you know of this side of yours, you will need to think and use your brain to figure out as you go. 

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Four of Swords rx, Eight of Pentacles rx

I would say that you’re very action based, and you think a lot. One thing that’s special about you is that you know when to stop thinking. Unlike most people, once they start thinking, they spiral into their thoughts and have no way out. You, however, know when to stop and how to pull yourself out from that headspace. From there, you then use that energy and time to focus on earth-themed items, such as career, work, fame, building something, etc. You’re basically the healthy combination of brain and physical energy, making sure both of these aspects are taken care of, working on them when others are still trapped in their heads. If you think that you do not have this trait, maybe you can try it out. I believe all can achieve this, but your pile is able to tap into it easily as compared to others.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Four of Pentacles

Learning to focus on yourself, to put yourself first before others. I’m not sure if you’ve been called selfish for putting your needs above others, but you’re not. You can only share when you have extra/excess, and that’s when sharing becomes something comfortable and meaningful. Remember, you are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Let yourself have your own time, build connections with yourself and with others. Collaboration is something that you can work on, may it be work related projects or personal projects. Passion projects are things that will help you redirect your energy, and for you to keep yourself occupied when you realise your thoughts are jumbled up again with the excess energy.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Three of Cups

I would say that you will need to build your own home with people you trust in, with people you’re comfortable with. You may have gone through quite some family trauma, and your safe space may no longer lie with it. Remember, home is where the heart lies. As long as you feel comfortable, comforted and safe, you are home. For some reason, you may have been seen as the black sheep of your family. You have been told that you have great communication skills (may also have 3H placements), and it would be great if you know how to use that skill to its full potential. There’s more you can do with it, may it be drawing people to you, or drawing people away from people who harmed you. 

Overall energy: Judgement, Wheel of Fortune rx

I feel that you tend to judge yourself a lot, or people may have passed their biased judgement onto you when you’ve decided to not go their way. There are also some… Remnants? Of feelings of unjust? You have felt that life was unfair and things have not been going your way. Though you may have put that thought aside real quick cuz you believe in yourself more than what the stars or fate has said. You prefer to take things into your own hands instead of whatever higher beings there are out there, and I’d say that you’re doing a good job with it.

.

.

.

Pile 4: I admit it now life is a long marathon, the difference is that I set the course

One Two cards to represent you: The High Priestess, The Lovers rx

The first word that came to me is intuitive. You know you’re intuitive and you have used your intuition on a lot of things that came into your life, may it be making decisions or using it to discern those who come close to you with agendas. But still, you probably have some… Troubles with love? Not necessarily romantic ones, but platonic and love towards yourself as well. For some reason, I feel that you may feel called to be a lover. It can be self love, but personally, I feel that the energy here is more outwards, where you are supposed to love others, and yet there’s no one out there deserving of your love. Some of you may have 12H or Pisces placement as well, which may give others an impression of being dreamy or drunk in love. (My logical head thinks so, but for some reason I’m feeling that heart-clenching feel, as well as a sense of loss. Not sure how to phrase it well tbh.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - The Moon rx

Weirdly, for some reason, I’d say that you expect yourself to be… Different? You know you’re different and that you may sometimes feel that you are unable to align with how this world functions. Hence, when you feel you’re becoming too “earthly”, you may feel torn, because you expect yourself to do or achieve “unearthly” things, eg: to be a spiritual guru, to do reiki healing, etc. You are definitely one pile that is more prone to the spiritual side of the world, where you’ll often have a nagging feeling at the back of your head when you’re not doing anything of that sort. 

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - The Empress

It is definitely something achievable, that is, if you focus on healing yourself as well as creating meaningful bonds with the people around you. One of the main themes of The Empress is to nurture, which you are called to not only nurture the people around you, but also to nurture yourself. You will also need to be with the right group of friends who will be able to help you flourish (and of course, you helping them as well, as this is a mutual relationship). I honestly don’t know what else to say about this because the message is repetitive, and I think you know it as well. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Two of Cups rx

This card in this position talks about tension, deception or even lack of trust between you and your spiritual side. For some reason, I’m feeling that you are holding too strongly to a certain thought or a belief. It causes stress and fatigue, making you lose hope in the process. Instead of taking a forced “temporary” approach, it would be better for you to reflect on what it brings you, and to let go of past beliefs that no longer serve you. Two of Cups is supposed to be a card of joyful celebration, a union between two parties. You will need to turn the card upright. It’s time to release the old and embrace the new, only then you’ll be able to grow into your very best self.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Six of Swords rx

I would say that one of your strengths is special, because it is not so to a lot of people. You do not let your problems push you, but you work your way with it. See, most people’s first reaction is to solve the problem or to run away from it, but you choose to live with it and rebuild your life around it. There’s a part of you that is unwilling to make your life a mess by running and avoiding the problems. You surrender. Not in a negative way. You surrender the pain and stress, you abandon the old, limiting beliefs, and you live in the present. The best way I can describe it is… It’s like you’re a monk, where you live with whatever that is happening around you. Waves (troubles and challenges) are around you, and you’re on the boat, keeping yourself calm, not bothering with what the world is doing, keeping your calm. It's like you know there's a life after death and that you're working on it right now instead of being present in the current earthly life.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Ace of Wands

Ace of Wands is the first card in the Minor Arcana. What I’m picking up from here is that you’ll need to create a new beginning for yourself. I wouldn’t say it’s The Fool kinda journey, because The Fool’s journey is of meeting people and learning the lessons on the way. Your kind of journey is understanding what you want, seizing opportunities, and turning your enthusiasm into actions. You have an idea of where you want to go, when you want to reach there, how you’re going to move, with whom you will want to travel on this journey. I would also say that it would be a great time for you to filter your circle so that you’ll be able to go on this journey with the least distraction.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Four of Pentacles rx This is a time where you should consider relaxing your mind and remember that you cannot control what others are doing or holding. You know you have enough, and instead of focusing on the action of others, focus on yourself instead and how you can block out the noises. With this done, you will be able to move from a period of control and fear and anxiety to a stage of being more open (and blank). It’s like… Once you are able to clear your mind, those noises no longer mean a thing to you, and you’ll be able to focus on yourself and what you want to achieve. I’m also picking up words like “zen”, “calm” and “enlightenment”. … Yeah the word “monk” too.

Overall energy: The Devil, The Chariot

I am feeling some self-sabotaging themes here. It may sound difficult to accept but I do think The Devil here talks about you, where you’re embodying some traits, thoughts or beliefs that you’re unwilling to let go. Y’know how some things turn toxic when there’s excess or if you hold onto it for too long? That. It’s burdening you and you probably are actively trying to run away from it. I’m having the image of you being annoyed at how you’re not progressing, and you end up flipping the table, scattering all the plans you’ve made for yourself. Probably some big changes are bound. Clear up the space and welcome your spirit guides to show up in wondrous and unexpected ways.

[shut-up-rabert]

Do you think the Aryan Invasion Theory is true? I watching Mahabharata (star plus) and they kept using Aryavarta which reminded me of the Aryan race that Hilter used and so I did a little research and obviously he had no idea what he was talking about but what I found on the theory was a bit unsettling. I always believed that Hinduism/Sanskrit/Vedas originated in India (Indus Valley) but this theory seems to have genetic research to support it and it set off my whole belief system and gave me an identity crisis for some reason

Well, I am not really big on this theory because it has zilch proof to it as far as I have seen, only theories.

A simplified take on the same is the Indian Express article on Rakhigarhi excavation.

Other than that, there was this lengthy India Today article on the same excavation that gave me a headache because it won’t go to the fucking point, but I suppose it is in favour of the theory? I don’t know man, it’s fucking long and I did not read it all, just understood that IVC people from 4500 were native and that apparently we have outsider DNA.

There is no proof of any migration other than those based on change in genetic make up, a more plausible theory of which I explain later.

The interesting thing is, that the said Aryan invasion Theory first pinned us to be central asians from 1500BC and now we are Iranian farmers. It completely ignores the fact that Indians have little genes in common with Europeans who we supposedly come from moreso with South Indians (and I mean much more, we have almost the same gene combination except a few), and seems as if the India today article, based on the same premise of “Aryans had this one gene (r1 to be more specific) common with Iranians that Indus people did not have” fails to realise that people from the northwest of Indian subcontinent can have common genes with the bordering land for other reasons aswell because no shit sherlock, people fuck💀

I mean, how else do you explain the much higher genetic connection to south indians?

Another factor they use for the theory is the simultaneous developement of modern day Hinduism and Zorastrianism, but that too can be chalked upto influence rather than migration, given that Hinduism is actually older by a little margin (oldest living religion) and for the theory to be true, the migration should have gone westward instead.

Heck, the influence thing can easily exclude the theory altogther, because Iran is close to what are now the areas of IVC, and them slowly influencing the culture during or after IVC when they became more civil, (in 4000BC) or us doing the same, or even intermixing of the two will make more sense than AIT.

The migration of these Aryans cannot be proven otherwise aswell because there lies no proof for same. Literally none. The archeologist in the India today article and few others uphold it yet are unable to prove it beyond circumstantial evidence that makes more sense when turned against the theory rather than its favour, like the Iranian thing I mentioned. It might also very well be a migration to eastwards in Hind from the western part, because the Vedas were written before the supposed “Vedic Aryan invaders” happened and they are clearly neither Monotheistic nor Tribal, and align more with the Indic religions, so I digress they came from Central Asia or Iran.

Plus, the Vedas were written by the "aryans" on banks of saraswati, and the saraswati dried up centuries before they "destroyed IVC and took over". Another interesting thing is that Saraswati flew through the IVC sooooo.... yeah, maybe it all can be summed up to people fucking🫠

The thing is, we are locals, this culture was very much developed here on this land. Vedas, Sanskrit, Sanatan, there is a reason you do not see traces of them elsewhere, and I am certain this theory is BS because of the little I have read, because it has nothing to prove for itself.

But other than that, this particular subject was never of my interest because of how lengthy it was, and I fucking sucked at history, so may I suggest asking others who do think of this topic as often. I only know @tiananmen-square-orgy to be my nerdy mutual on this topic, and if finnie cannot help you I'll try geting you connected to a friend who is not on tumblr yet can help becuase of his extensive knowledge.

[theveteranside]

Here is my disclaimer, here's your one chance to run away. Don't get all offended after this. Your risk, not mine. What you are about to read is some truth, from one Operation Iraqi Freedom II veteran, although the end of the series may come as a bit of a surprise.

Do you know how hot it gets in Iraq? One-hundred-and-thirty fucking degrees, at least. One of my battle buddies used to say, "Its hotter than all balls!" No lie, it is for fucks sake. 

I joined the Army AFTER 9/11, real genius move. I went in having a Quartermaster job, 92G. Yes, yes, a goddamn cook. Why? Because pushing back my ship date cost me my slot as 54B, NBC (Nuclear Biological and Chemical). So, I took the next best thing, a big bonus.

Basic Training, check.

AIT, check.

Report to duty station in Wurzburg, Germany, check.

Deploy to Tikrit, Iraq on Mother's day 2004, fucking check.

In-process in Kuwait for two hellish weeks. Hurry up and wait, story of a soldiers life. Check.

Land in Tikrit, check.

Settle in at my living quarters....in a marble palace in Sadaam's hometown? Holy hell...

These palaces that we lived in were unbelievable. Marble. Gold. Crystal. One square mile of luxury, while outside those walls were desolate. Power outages were rolling. Water was dirty. Us? We were all pretty fucking rough, chain-smoking, gutter-mouthed, horny bastards that had each other's back in life, and in death. To this day, I'd trust my battle buddies with my life, because it just doesn't get any more real than that. Even if I haven't seen them or talked to them in years, there still lies that special bond. Blood and guts, no question.

On a daily basis, temperatures rose well above a hundred degrees. We wore our full battle at all times because The Big Red One was held to higher standards. Those higher standards nearly gave us heat stroke on a daily. DRINK MORE WATER! Hydrate fucker! So much fucking water. 

Full Battle Rattle consisted of full DCUs, flak vests weighing in at 20lbs maybe? And that's without add ons. On top of that was usually a camel pack with at least a half gallon of water, give or take. Six magazines of 5.56 rounds in Molly gear also attached to that flack vest. You have your standard M16A2 on a three point sling, eight pounds. On top of our already hard-headed noggin, a Kevlar helmet. Couple pounds. By the end of each day, lovely, thick salt rings in/on/through our DCUs.

On top of that shit, we were peppered with mortars and RPGs every fucking day, more than once, more than twice. Them hajis would drive over the bridge crossing the Tigris River with a dude, or woman.......or teenager......in the back ready to sit up and fire in hopes of blindy taking one of us, or some of us, out with a bang. It got to the point that it happened so much that we stopped ducking and diving. We wished a motherfucker would, cause they'd have hell to pay. When an RPG crosses about a foot in front of your face while scootin down the road, it pisses you off so much so that you turn around, head back to point A, kick a fucking door open, sit in front of a cooler with a cigg hanging out your mouth, and contemplate a whole scenario of blood and guts, not your own either. If only they were close enough....

**Break**

I think about this today. From what I can gather, in all my non-scientific-scientific-next-best-educated-life-experience-guess, is that we were out there for approximately 365± days, living on pure adrenaline, 24/7 in some form or another. So after a while, THAT becomes your body's "normal," then you get shipped back to duty station, asked a couple questions, deemed safe and normal, and then shipped for thirty-day leave and expected to adjust to normal civilian life with your family and kids and shit. The government failed us, oh so badly.

**Break**

Then, one day, they say, "S******! You'll be training on the .50cal, get ready!" I think, "How you figure?" But there I go......

[daechwitatamicrecs]

Okay okay I have a LOT OF FUCKING THOUGHTS KIKI. Like I said to you over DM, I wish I could split myself in two and experience this as a younger, unmarried person. Because I’m reading this through the lens of someone in a marriage I’m reading this automatically biased to want to root for the partnership – even if “rooting for it” means “respecting it enough to let it die” BUT I’M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.

““Being in your early twenties hardly makes you an adult,” he mutters.” BUT YOU’LL FUCK WITH HER ANYWAY?? HMM?????

“The silver ring on his finger digs into your scalp like a knife.” This is literally the line from the sniipet you shared a LONG time ago that had me like “dammit I have to read this one”. THE SYMBOLISM, KIKI, THE SYMBOLISM!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You don’t have to tell him that it’s all a façade, and everything’s already been undone.” I GASPED.

““Don’t you think it’s a little unfair?” Despite his warning, she continues. “Getting her used to sleeping with you and then not being here?”” SCREAMS! BECAUSE! THIS COULD GO! FOR READER TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So on my second read I’m really struck by a few things – how utterly empty Jungkook is, how HARD reader is trying – to be MORE, to be BETTER.

“That ugly, bitter, jealous side of you thinks maybe she just doesn’t know him the way you do.” Honestly kudos to you as a writer because this sentence made me VISCERALLY angry!!!!!!!! Like! Bitch!!!! That is his WIFE!!! They have shared, and continue to share, and WILL continue to share so much that you will never be privy to!!! They fucking parent together!!! You are not in this equation!!!! You think she didn’t see the best sides of him before things went bad? Oooooooooh I just wanna slap her or shake her or push her through another window!!!!

“ He doesn’t compromise any of his space for you.” MORE!!!!!!!! SYMBOLISM!!!!!!!!!!!! You know who he DOES make room for? Yul and literally no one else lol both these women should just cut their losses and go find someone who believe in therapy.

“he grunts over the material, “the best I’ve ever had.”” I FULLY BELIEVE THAT THIS MAN IS EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE AND THIS IS EVIDENCE BAGGIE #1 BYE. Like bro if you’re not TRYING to egg her on and keep her chasing and hoping then why tf would you say shit like that to her, have some sense.

“Don’t give up on me” evidence baggie #2.

PLeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase this bitch does not love her!!!! Evidence baggie #3.

Qit. Wa-AIT. KIKI WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. THE FIRST READ THIS DIDN’T EVEN. OH MY GOD. CATCHER IN THE RYE. BECAUSE AT THE END YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE BROTHER. JUST LIKE IN THIS ONE YOU FIND OUT ABOUT SEOL KIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT I AM SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaahhhhhhhhhhhh they’re both sooooooooooooooo fucked up lmfaooooooo justice for seulgi she deserves better than these asshats!!!!!!

the weekend | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: dilf!jk x babysitter reader

⇢ RATING/GENRE: m/18+ | fwb, sm*t, angst

⇢ WC: 13.8k

⇢ WARNINGS: alright boyz strap in bc it's a doozy lmao, protected s*x, multiple org*sms (m & f), or*l s*x (m receiving), face f*ck, f*ngering, rough s*x, face slapping, sp*nking, exh*bitionism, sir k*nk, t*tty f*ck, t*tty sucking (duh), body piercings (n*pples), age gap (reader is 23 and jk is like 30), infid*lity (reader is the other woman), ch*king, overst*mulation, sp*tting, man handling, finger s*cking, d*m jk, brief mentions of past add*ction, implied passing of a bby (mainly subtext w no details given), maybe unrequited love, maybe not (EVIL CACKLE), some dark thoughts discussed (nothing too graphic or detailed), fighting n yelling n crying yikes, all of these characters are v flawed (except for yul duh), cute bby moments!!, oc is v immature n naive n contradicts herself a lot, she maybe has a thing for older guys bc of that, some bl*od (just a scrape on the knee but ik bl*od can be triggering), this relationship is extremely toxic and not meant to be desired!!!, one homage to trixie mattel lmao

⇢ SUMMARY: every weekend, you give jungkook a little taste of something he’s missing monday through friday.

⇢ NOTES: so after months and months of planning this fic (i literally posted the teaser in JANUARY UM??), it's finally here. i think this is my fav thing i've written thus far and i worked v hard on this! would love to know ur thoughts, feedback is always appreciated!! ty @/taegularities for betaing!! (for whatever reason, this fic refuses to show up in tags n it sucks n nothing i do fixes it so i shall leave it be lol)

You can't tell what’s louder—the crunch of dewy, end-of-summer grass pricking the soft skin of your thighs like angry thorns, or the cracking of bones as your body thumps to the ground from your bedroom window. 

“Ah-” the whine is quickly stifled by a sharp hiss as you remember your dad’s sleeping figure is just behind the wall next to you. “Ouch,” you whimper, praying that the crash hasn’t reached his watchful ears. Carefully, you climb to your feet, brushing the dirt off your bare legs. You spot a fresh crimson scrape on your knee.

Fucking great. 

Finally, after days of longing and waiting, the weekend has arrived. Today, in particular, is a fantastic day. You were trying to look sexy, and blood isn't exactly the sexiest accessory. Bringing your wrist up to your nose, you inhale the candy-scented liquid you had doused yourself in before leaving. 

Perfume still in check, thank fuck.

Goosebumps form on your skin as you take long, dutiful strides, cool night mist gliding through the thin material of your long silk shirt. You’ve committed this path to memory—out the window, usually in a more graceful manner, through the neighbor’s yard, and then straight down the sidewalk to the black Mercedes Benz waiting for you at the end of the road. 

If you hadn’t done this a million and one times already, you might’ve missed the vehicle, so dark that it blends into the night seamlessly. You can’t help but wonder if that’s his goal entirely. 

Still, the excitement of it all makes you walk a little faster. 

“Hey, Jungkook,” you smile as you slide into his black leather passenger seat, leaning over the center console to give his cheek a gentle peck. Maybe you’ve overstepped a boundary and muddied the lines in the sand of your… relationship, but you can’t help yourself. Seeing Jungkook was always a treat, one you looked forward to every Friday night for the past five months.

“Hi,” he says impassively, eyes darting over your figure. A loose strand of hair dangles in front of his eyes, teasing you. “You’re wearing makeup?”

“Oh, um…” You’re at a loss for words; surprised he noticed such a slight change in your appearance. Although his perceptiveness was something you noted shortly after you began working for him, you can’t help but feel flustered. “Yeah, I… wanted to look nice tonight. Totally busted my ass climbing out the window,” you laugh.

“Did you get hurt?” His straight brows furrow slightly, silver piercing reflecting the moonlight. 

“Just a scratch.” You lift your leg to show him the red mark on your knee. “Didn’t break anything, though, so that’s a plus.”

Wordlessly, Jungkook reaches over, popping open the glove compartment before you and pulling out the first aid kit he keeps there for emergencies. The scent of clean linen wafts over you from his daily cologne. His scent. Only his. You try your best to subdue the possessive smirk forming. “You should be more careful.”

“I’m okay.”

“Be more careful,” he commands, peering up at you with an icy gaze. “Got it?”

Whether it’s the seven-year age gap between the two of you or the tone of his voice, you know better than to argue. “Yes,” you wince as he rubs Neosporin onto the open wound. “Besides, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if my dad wasn’t so… overprotective.”

“Well,” he continues, sticking a pink Baby Shark bandaid to your skin before putting the box back, “as a father, I understand.”

“Yul is two, though,” you laugh, “I’m in my twenties.”

“Being in your early twenties hardly makes you an adult,” he mutters. "Besides, it doesn't matter. The need to protect your children always stays the same.”

“Poor Bunny,” you pout jokingly as you click your seatbelt on. “She’s going to be just like me when she’s older. Sneaking out of a window to see a boy because her daddy is a big grizzly bear.”

The comment has his nose twitching in irritation. “I’m done with this conversation, __.”

You freeze. Have you struck a nerve?

“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you peep. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Stop.” His voice is flat, but your heart thumps. “It’s fine.”

All the excitement you feel suddenly morphs into an uncomfortable ache as you slump into your seat. It’s different than it was last weekend, positioned much closer to the dashboard than you would ever put it. There’s a claustrophobic sting in your chest as you realize someone else has been in this very spot. 

You know they have, and you know who. 

The deafening sound of the bulky silver band on his finger, tapping against the steering wheel as he begins driving to the hotel you frequent, is a sick reminder.

You swear there’s even a musky floral scent lingering in the air. Deeper and more mature than yours. It could be paranoia, or guilt, making you imagine things. Still, you hope your perfume finds its way into every fiber of his leather seats. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks, interrupting any rational thought or doubt, luring you back into the vicious cycle. 

“A bit stressful,” you sigh. “I applied for school today.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, pretty sure I messed up on the financial aid paperwork, though. It was super confusing; I didn’t understand any of it.”

“You should’ve brought it over. I could’ve helped you.” 

Jungkook does have a master’s degree in finance. He could’ve been your Rosetta Stone, helping you decipher convoluted questions about taxes and deductions. However, you weren’t sure how he would’ve reacted to you pulling out your laptop post-sex, asking for assistance on something completely unrelated to your normal routine. “That’s not the type of thing we usually do when we’re together,” you shrug, “you know?”

Your response has him shifting in his spot, pierced bottom lip curling inwards like the words made him queasy. He was the one who encouraged you to go back to school in the first place. “I wouldn’t have minded,” Jungkook mumbles before quickly redirecting the dialogue, something he does whenever he’s frustrated or uncomfortable. “So, what’s the special occasion?” 

“Huh?” 

“What’s got you all dolled up?”

Oh, right. That special occasion. The one you’ve been anticipating since you were made aware of its existence. 

“Happy three years sober!” You announce with a cheesy smile, throwing your arms up eagerly. 

“Ah,” he huffs in recognition. His eyes are fixed on the road, but there’s the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face. Success. It takes everything in you not to physically rejoice. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“What do you mean?” You ask with a pout. “How could I forget?”

“I don’t know.” Just like that, the flicker of happiness wisps away like a flame in the wind as his expression turns emotionless and stoic again. “It’s not really a big deal.”

You frown. Must he always be so… cold? 

‘It’s okay to smile; you deserve it,’ is what you want to tell him. It's not your place, though. You opt for: “It’s a huge deal, Jungkook,” instead. Reaching over, you gently tuck the stray strand of hair behind his decorated ear. 

A somber aura hangs around him like a dark, dreary rain cloud, and in moments like this, when it’s so visible, you just… need to touch him.

It’s stupid to think that you’re the special one; that you’ll be the girl to turn the rain into a rainbow and save him from himself, but you can’t refrain from trying. 

“Did you celebrate?”

He shakes his head. “Went to work.” 

You can tell from his outfit—a sleek black blazer resting neatly on top of an even darker button-up and tie. His long hair is slicked back, but gravity, and his ten-hour long shift took their toll, making the strands hang slack, short undercut peaking through. He looks so incredibly sexy. Maybe, you can comfort him in the only way you know how…

“Well, there’s still time.” You point to the clock on his touchscreen stereo: 11:12 p.m. You throw your hair over your shoulder before slowly undoing the top two buttons of your shirt, revealing the skimpy black lingerie set you splurged on just for tonight. Just for him. “We can celebrate…”

“Yeah?” His cheek bubbles, tongue poking at the inside of his mouth, eyebrow jumping at your suggestion. “How so?”

You bite your lip, contemplating your next move. Hastily, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over the center console. It’s reckless, but so is being with a man like Jungkook. When you finally get to have him the way you want, you’re incapable of rationality. 

One night of him isn’t enough. What kind of tease is that? You need at least six more to be satisfied…

“__,” he warns, arching his head away from your sneaky lips.  “Put your seatbelt on. Wait until we get to the hotel.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” You pout, cupping his cheek in your hand and batting your eyelashes innocently. Jungkook doesn’t take the bait, giving the desolate road ahead his unwavering attention. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, you can tell you’re getting to him. Below you, his slacks tighten around his thick, tensed thighs. He’s playing right into your hands. Needily, you tongue the little silver hoops dangling from his ear. 

“If I have to pull over, you’re in trouble.”

“Maybe I-”

A hushed ‘fuck’ cuts you off as the car comes to a screeching halt. Jungkook slams on the brakes, coming too close to the slower vehicle in front of you for comfort. Luckily, his dad reflexes kick in. His strong hand grips your waist tightly, preventing you from barreling forward. You brace yourself by clutching his shoulders, and when the adrenaline rush fades, you finally look at him. His nostrils are flared, and his jaw is clenched painfully tight. He’s pissed. 

You know you should apologize, or be a little shaken up, but the blinking of the turn signal as he pulls to the side of the dark highway has your mouth watering. This is just what you wanted. 

Jungkook sighs in frustration, tilting his head back against the headrest. The movement is counterintuitive, exposing the inked canvas of his neck that you’re desperate to paint red and purple. 

A hand fists your tangled hair, pulling you off with a harsh yank before you have the chance to sink your teeth in. The silver ring on his finger digs into your scalp like a knife. “Do not fucking mark me.”

The feeling of the frigid metal is agonizing. Not physically—his grip loosens immediately after the initial tug—but emotionally. You know why he doesn’t want you to mark him. Any evidence of you, other than your weekly babysitting duties, would unravel the entire life he’s built for himself. 

Jungkook is an intelligent man, though. You don’t have to tell him that it’s all a façade, and everything’s already been undone. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out frail and shaky. “I just want you.”

And like some cruel joke, his phone rings. 

The contact image would typically make you swoon. It’s a picture of him and his daughter from her first birthday party; her sticky, strawberry ice cream covered hands holding his cheeks as he stares at her with scrunched eyes and a big smile. You think that picture is the only time you’ve ever seen him genuinely happy.

The bold, white font at the top of the screen makes you sick to your stomach. 

‘Wife.’

Jungkook releases your hair and places a finger over his mouth, signaling you to shut up,  before answering. 

“Yes, Seulgi?”

“Your daughter would like to speak to you.” 

Her voice makes you want to curl into yourself. Whenever you talk to Seulgi regarding Yul, you’re able to compartmentalize and detach that part of yourself from this one. The one that’s sleeping with her husband. Hearing her in this compromised setting makes you feel absolutely repulsive. 

After some rustling and tiny sniffles, Yul answers. “Da-” She only manages a syllable before breaking into a cry-induced coughing fit. You cringe, poor Bunny. “Daddy!”

“What’s wrong with my baby?”

You don’t mean to giggle, especially when the little girl you’ve grown to love so much is clearly distressed, but the intimidating, grumpy, tattooed businessman beside you, talking in full-on pout, tickles your brain just right.

“I don’t wanna sleep alone!” Yul screeches in the most anguished, high-pitched tone.

“Bunny…” With the way his hands scrub down his face, you can tell the tears on the other end are physically affecting him. “Take a deep breath, please.”

There’s a shaky inhale, and a sad whine of an exhale as she tries to steady her respirations.

“Thank you, good job,” he affirms. “Yul, daddy is…” Dark pupils flicker over to you, his face scowled to match. He eyes you like you’re an annoying stain on his leather seat. A dirty little secret that’s keeping him from his daughter. The gesture sends a dagger through your chest. Usually, Jungkook tells his wife he’s working overtime, but he can’t bring himself to lie to his only daughter. “Busy.”

“B-B-But.” The wails have simmered down to a blubber. “Scared.”

“You have mommy, though, don’t you?” He counters exasperatedly, cogs turning at maximum speed to conjure up a solution. “And Ruru?”

Yul is a persistent girl. You’ve seen the two-and-a-half-year-old deadpan Jungkook with a ‘you can have them, then,’ when he tried to convince her that vegetables were delicious and totally not an abomination to tastebuds. “Jeon Ruru is scared, too.”

After a few months of dedication and trust building, Yul finally initiated you into her inner circle of squishmallows, all of which shared the surname, Jeon, followed by whatever random title her baby brain bestowed them. Jeon Ruru, a glass of strawberry milk, was her favorite. You coo in remembrance. 

“What about Ado?” Jungkook suggests, exhausting all his options.

“Ado?” She peeps curiously, and you can almost see her doe eyes scanning the room for her runner-up, an avocado squishmallow you gifted her. “Ado’s sleepin’.”

“Can you go get him?”

There’s a long pause of contemplation before the pitter-patter of tiny feet on wood fills the speakers. “Jeon Ado!” She calls out, voice becoming distant as she runs to her bedroom, “daddy wantsa’ talk to you!” You make out a quiet ‘I’ll tuck you in’ when Seulgi helps her to bed. “Okay,” Yul huffs, breathless from her scurry down the long corridor, “he’s here.”

“Jeon Ado.” You rarely see this side of him, and it takes all of your strength to suppress the smile that’s creeping up. “Can you keep Yul safe while I’m away?” He even leans forward a bit, turning his ear towards the speaker as if he’s actually waiting for the stuffed avocado to answer, subconsciously playing along with his daughter despite being miles apart. The scene puts your overwhelmingly sweet perfume to shame. “Uh, Yul, he said yes. So can you sleep in your big girl bed tonight?”

Reluctantly, Yul grumbles in agreement.

“Alright baby, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

Again, she answers with a little grunt and a yawn.

“I love you.”

“Love youuu!” She extends the vowel for emphasis.

“I love you more.”

There’s a beat of silence before the sleepy girl simply responds ‘yep,’ not even attempting to argue. He glances at you, this time with a wholesome smile, eyes warm with burning stars. It’s moments like this that keep you hooked, you think. Like always, the feeling is short-lived. When Seulgi mumbles a sweet goodnight to her daughter, their daughter, you’re reminded that you shouldn’t even be observing this domestic interaction. 

“You know,” the man begins, turning his attention to his wife, “if you had given her a warm bottle, she would’ve gone down without a hitch.” 

“Jungkook, she’s too old for a bottle.” And just like that, the fire between them ignites. You’ve never actually witnessed the pair fighting, only felt the uncomfortable heat between them in passing. “And she’s too old to be co-sleeping. She never had an issue sleeping alone beforehand.”

“Alright,” he asserts, “if Yul’s okay, then we’re done here.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair?” Despite his warning, she continues. “Getting her used to sleeping with you and then not being here?”

There were many things about having a daughter that Jungkook wasn’t prepared for.

It’s not that he didn’t do his research, and Yul certainly wasn’t an accident. He had wanted her more than anything. Especially after the… 

Incident.

A baby-sized hole was left in Jungkook’s chest. Every day, it grew bigger and bigger until, eventually, that bitter emptiness would’ve swallowed him alive. 

Jungkook needed Yul. 

Still, there were certain things that parenting books and videos hadn’t warned him about, like the worry in his stomach whenever his daughter refuses her lunch, or the ache in his heart when he drops her off at daycare and she watches him leave through the window with a sad wave and tears rolling down her cheeks as if he’s just abandoned her forever. As if he or his wife aren’t going to pick her up in a mere four hours like they do every Tuesday and Thursday. His readings haven’t prepared him for the even stronger ache that consumes his entire body whenever he leaves for work too early and comes home too late, with barely any time to spend with his favorite person in the world.  

Before Yul was even born, Jungkook and Seulgi had decided that co-sleeping was out of the question. Their room was for them, and he stood firm on that principle for a while. However, as time passed, their room became Seulgi’s, and the empty bedroom downstairs became his. 

Jungkook couldn’t stand that room. 

One night, after a particularly grueling shift, Jungkook trudges up the stairs for a late shower. Without finance talk or Yul’s babbles, he’s left to his own thoughts. Usually, under the scalding water, he wondered how his life turned out this way, or more so, why? This time, Jungkook wonders if there is even a reason to keep going at all.

He catches his reflection while brushing his teeth. His eyes are dark, cold, distant. Those same eyes belong to his daughter, but all he sees when looking into hers is love, innocence, and everything good in life. 

Maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for him. 

Taking a detour to Yul’s room, Jungkook does his best to quietly tip-toe around squishmallows and discarded markers. Underneath the pink blanket is a little ball of fluffy black hair. She’s got her thumb in her mouth—a bad habit he and Seulgi had been trying to nip in the bud—with her chubby cheeks squished against her pillow. There were few things he hated more than waking her up, especially when she was sleeping so peacefully, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t stop himself. 

Tiny, confused cries fill the room as Jungkook scoops her up. 

“Shh,” he hushes, smoothing his palm over her onesie-clad back. “It’s just me.”

“Da- ddy?” Immediately, she relaxes at the familiar sound of his voice, words slurred as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes with a little fist before peering up at him with big marble eyes. 

“How was daycare, Bunny?” 

“Scared,” she whimpers, slumping into his chest for comfort. “Scaredy cat.”

“Scaredy cat?” Jungkook repeats, trying to make sense of the phrase. “Who’s a scaredy cat?”

“Jeon Yul.” 

Typically, Jungkook finds it adorable when Yul refers to herself in the third person. The way she says it this time makes him frown. “Jeon Yul is not a scaredy cat. Jeon Yul is a baby, that’s all.” Realizing that she’d probably heard the unfavorable title at daycare, his chest tightens. With a heavy sigh, he rests his chin on top of her round head, swaying back and forth. Her hair smells like green apples from her baby soap. “Why were you scared, sweetheart?”

“No color…” 

On his lunch break, Seulgi informed him that she was picking Yul up early. In an attempt to encourage her to engage with other children, the teacher took away Yul’s crayons, sending her into a full-blown tantrum. Jungkook knew his daughter well, a spitting image of him in every capacity. The crayons weren’t the problem; it was that crippling shyness that made her afraid of socializing with nearly anyone other than you and her parents.

Her back ripples with tiny hiccups as she recounts the events. Jungkook decides it’s best to change the subject, not wanting to upset his two-year-old anymore—especially this late at night. 

“Guess what?”

Yul grunts an inquisitive noise.

“Daddy got you Baby Shark coloring books.”

Her wispy bedhead bounces as she glances side to side, inspecting her room for any sign of new Pinkfong merchandise. Jungkook was genuinely amazed at her ability to keep track of it all, considering how much he and his wife loved to spoil her rotten. However, the word ‘rotten’ doesn’t even come close to describing his baby. “Where?”

“In my car,” he laughs, slicking her choppy bangs out of her eyes. “We’ll color tomorrow., okay?”

“I like Baby Shark,” Yul says, completely ignoring his question. The teeniest, tiniest, most precious yawn slips out, two little front teeth on full display before her lips smack together sleepily. Truly living up to her nickname.

“I know you do.” He’s still rocking her gently, buying some time before she falls back into sleep’s arms and out of his. “I missed you so much today.” 

“Why?”

As of late, ‘why’ seems to be Yul’s favorite word. 

Why is the sky blue?

Why do vegetables taste yucky?

Why is daddy’s nose so big?

He’d be lying if he said that last, brutally honest question hadn’t caught him off guard when she first uttered it on his hip at the grocery store. 

“Because I love you.” It’s the most effortless sentence he’s ever spoken. The most natural feeling he’s ever felt.

“Why?” 

“Because,” his eye roll is disconnected from his growing smile, “you’re so cute!” If they weren’t enclosed by the four pink walls of Yul’s bedroom, Jungkook would be embarrassed at the squeakiness of his usual monotone voice. Leaning down, Jungkook blows a raspberry against her doughy cheek, a tried and true method of making her laugh. “Do you want to sleep in my room?”

It’s against his better judgment and the ground rules he had agreed to, but he just… really needs to spend time with her tonight. The small nod against his chest seals the deal. Before he gets to the door, Yul stops him with an exaggerated gasp.

“Daddy, Ruru!”

“Ruru?” 

She grunts, frustrated at her father’s confusion, frantically pointing at her partner in crime, the strawberry milk squishmallow lying neatly underneath her comforter. Just how she left it.

“Yul,” Jungkook starts, taking a few steps backward and bending at the waist, allowing her to take the oversized stuffie into her arms. “Isn’t this Mimi?” As far as Jungkook knows, the pink milk carton with a face had always been Mimi; a name Yul had dubbed it since he brought it home a couple months back.

“Ruru,” she states affirmatively. 

And ever since then, Yul’s been a co-sleeper. 

Jungkook prided himself on knowing his daughter like the back of his tattooed hand. Whether it’s a sixth sense, some innate father’s instinct that the parenting videos mentioned, or his own attention to detail, he could read her like a book. However, sharing a bed with the tiny human taught him something he had been blissfully unaware of:

Yul sleeps wild. 

More often than not, Jungkook was awoken by a tiny foot kicking his back, or by his own reflexes as he was somehow pushed to the very corner of the bed by his twenty-pound baby. There were even a few times when a harsh tug on his hair acted as an alarm clock. When he turned around to confront the culprit, however, she was fast asleep, arm slung over one of the many squishmallows that had worked their way into his room. 

Having her with him was worth all bald spots and bruises, though. It’s bad, he knows it, and night by night, Yul becomes more attached. Getting her acclimated to daycare had been hell, to say the least. He knows co-sleeping has possibly made her more reluctant to socialize than she already was. 

Still, Jungkook can’t help but wonder who’s more dependent on the other. When he thinks about it, undoubtedly, the answer is him. Because as long as he wakes up to a little foot in his back, a fist in his hair, and the smell of green apple baby soap, he has a reason to keep going. 

“Don’t you think she deserves better?”

Her sharp words swipe through the air like a blade. Even you feel the cut, cautiously eyeing Jungkook. You can’t read his expression, but something about it makes you rub a comforting hand over his shoulder. He doesn’t react to your touch at all.

There’s a sullen pause before he finally answers. “I think Yul deserves everything.”

“Right… Goodnight, Jungkook.” She hangs up before he has the chance to respond. Seulgi always struck you as a level-headed person, albeit a bit aloof, but never unfair or cruel. You assume she’s just being spiteful, because anyone who knows Jungkook would never question his dedication to his daughter. That ugly, bitter, jealous side of you thinks maybe she just doesn’t know him the way you do. 

“Are you okay?” You whisper as if approaching a wounded animal, ready to attack. 

“On Fridays,” he starts, eyes shamefully dropping to his fidgeting hands. “Yul spends the day with my parents.”

His incessant need to defend his parenting makes your heart ache. “Hey, I-”

“She’s usually asleep by the time I leave work.” 

“Kook,” you interrupt his rambling. “You don’t have to explain; I understand... I think you’re an amazing father.”

Lifting his head, Jungkook looks you directly in the eyes. His are glassy and gentle now, but the fingers that hook into your lace bra, right between the cups, are rough and abrasive. “C’mere,” he gruffs, pulling you over the center console until you’re uncomfortably sandwiched between his solid chest and the steering wheel. There’s no effort to make room for you; he doesn’t slide his seat back. He doesn’t compromise any of his space for you. You accept it, steadying yourself on his shoulders with a grunt. 

Sometimes, you question what your presence in his life truly is. Are you an escape or a punching bag? Are you merely something he can sink his nails and teeth into when angry? Something he can break without consequence? The sound of thread ripping and buttons popping fills the car as he slides the silk off your shoulders, letting the delicate material fall to the floor without a care in the world.

“You wore this for me?” A fingertip lightly traces the petite swell of your breasts, barely bulging over the frilly black cups of your push-up. The sensation sets your skin ablaze.

“Mhm,” you confirm, “I wanted today to be special.”

“You care about me?” Moonlight cuts through the dewy window, beaming against the side of his pale face, highlighting the taut pull in his features. His question seems genuine, but the answer is obvious, isn’t it? Simply being here with him makes the entire foundation of your soul, all of your morals and beliefs, crumble to pieces. Against your better judgment, you’re still here. 

Yearning. Trying. Fighting.

You swipe a thumb over his thick brows, trying to ease the angry crinkle that’s become a permanent fixture on his beautiful face. You comb through his hair. It’s a little knotted, a little crunchy from old gel. 

The answer should be obvious, but you don’t think Jungkook could internalize love if it was right in front of him.

“I care about you,” you say truthfully, “a lot.”

The stars in his eyes gleam for a moment, glowing bright and vibrant, before they’re engulfed by the suffocating blackness of his pupils. 

“You poor thing,” Jungkook tuts, trailing his fingers up your neck before grasping your jaw with a single hand. The baby fat of your cheeks mushes together from the force. “You're gonna let me do whatever I want to you, aren't you?”

The tone of his voice has your heart fluttering and your stomach churning with thick hot desire. Gripping his wrist with both hands, you moan out a ‘yes,’ unconsciously grinding down onto his slack-covered bulge. He’s barely touched you yet and your cunt is leaking, making a mess of your itty bitty thong and his work suit. 

“Right, of course.” With the same hand holding you, Jungkook taps his index finger against your glossy pout, “open.” Just barely parting your lips, you let the thick digit slide between them. Immediately, he presses down against your tongue, trying to coax a gag out of you. “What if I want to fuck this pretty little mouth until you cry? How does that sound? Would you like that?”

Inhaling deeply, you nod. That sounds absolutely perfect.

“I don’t know if you can handle it, though,” he lulls, retracting his finger before plunging it back in, all the up to his inked knuckle. You squint in defiance. He’s teasing, but you can’t fight the tinge of anger in your chest. If there’s one thing you can do, it’s suck a mean dick. Looking him directly in the eyes, you swirl your tongue against his palm with ease, not choking once. You feel his cock twitch against the supple flesh of your inner thigh. 

Unamused by your antics, Jungkook yanks his hand back angrily, making a string of saliva drip down your chin. Maybe a full face of makeup wasn’t the best idea. “Get in the backseat,” he orders huskily, wiping the damp skin on his blazer. Biting back a smirk, you climb off his lap and wriggle over the center console. You situate yourself on the cool leather, laying down and assuming face-fuck position. 

The yellow glow of headlights swims across the ceiling as a passing car drifts down the misty highway. This is the first time in five months that you and Jungkook are out in the open, blissfully oblivious to the possibility of getting caught. It’s childish, but you hope someone sees. For a moment in time—in a wandering eye’s glimpse of reality—you’re his and he's yours.

“Couldn’t wait until we got to the hotel, huh?” Jungkook huffs when he opens the door. Giddily, you lean your head back over the edge of the seat, coming face to face with the tent in his pants. His hands frantically work to unbuckle his belt, desperate to bury himself inside of you. His favorite escape. “Well, since you want to act like a fucking whore-” his pants fall to his knees with a clang when he unbuttons them, “-I’ll treat you like one.”

“Please,” you whimper, noting the wet spot on his gray Calvin Kleins. Reaching up, you lightly drag your nails across it, teasingly pinching the head of his cock before he tugs his boxers down. A big greedy smile spreads across your face as his semi springs out. 

The sight makes your lips part. It’s so pretty. Something about how the moonlight catches the glowy pink tip, peeking out from under his foreskin. The light accentuates every ridge and vein on his girthy shaft. So yummy it has you drooling-

Jungkook’s right. You’re a complete and utter whore.

“Is this what you wanted?” He peers down at you over his prominent nose, one hand clutching the roof of his Mercedes. The other wraps around his thick shaft, giving it a few languid pumps, getting himself fully erect for you. Teasingly, he taps the head against your plump lips. Unable to resist, you press a sweet peck and a kitten lick to his silky frenulum. “Uh-uh,” he chuckles, raising his delicious cock just beyond your reach. “You know better than that. Ask for permission.”

“Wanna suck it,” you pout, squirming impatiently. “Please?”

Suddenly, his heavy cock slaps your cheek with a wet thud.

“Please, what?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl.” The praise is contradicted by another light smack to your face, this time with an open palm. Taking the hint, you open your mouth wide, tongue sticking out in anticipation. Jungkook watches you intently with furrowed brows and a slack jaw as he feeds you the first few inches. As soon as the salty flavor of his arousal hits your tastebuds, you moan obnoxiously, back arching off the leather beneath you. 

He starts slowly, using your breathing to guide his movements—pausing on the exhales and giving you a bit more on the inhales. He does this until the entirety of his length is shoved down your warm, wet mouth. 

The hem of his black dress shirt flows over you, obstructing his view. He places it between his teeth with an annoyed groan, wanting to watch the swell in your neck as you swallow him like a snake. “You take it so well,” he grunts over the material, “the best I’ve ever had.”

Tears clinging to your lashes finally lose grip, trickling down your skin until they get lost in the thick, dark swoops of your dangling hair. For once, you mean something more to him than she does. It’s insignificant and shameful, but at least it's something.

“Are you okay, __?” Jungkook asks, sensing the shift as your soul splays before him like your half-naked body. Stepping back, he gives you some reprieve.

With red eyes and drool bubbling at the corners of your lips, you moan out an implied ‘yes.’ His confession has you on cloud nine.

“Do you remember the sign?”

Again, you hum. 

“Can you show me?”

Lazily, you tap his outer thigh three times, a hard ‘stop’ symbol you had agreed upon months ago while hanging off the edge of a hotel bed, preparing for Jungkook to fuck your mouth for the very first time. 

“Good girl,” he says before rutting his entire length into you again. He’s so deep that the soft skin of his scrotum nudges against the tip of your nose, and the dense patch of trimmed hair on his pubic bone tickles your chin. Reaching down, Jungkook grips your neck, reveling in the feeling of it stretching against his palm as he moves in and out steadily. 

Eventually, he hunches over, hands wandering down and holding your temples for better leverage. Despite the harsh digs of his hips, his delicate fingers brush away a few strands of hair stuck to your damp cheeks. The sweet gesture makes you whimper around him in pure ecstasy, moving your head to meet his thrusts for extra stimulation, circling your flat tongue around the base. 

The whistles of the midnight breeze and the murmur of passing cars fade, and all you hear is Jungkook. The melodic, venomous praises pouring out of him poison your mind with optimism. He takes one last plunge, so powerful it sends you sliding back against the seat. To steady yourself, you grip his legs, attempting to ease your triggered gag reflex. He holds you there, cock stuffed to the brim as he slams a hand against the black steel of his car, shirt falling from his teeth as he moans ardently. You gasp when he finally pulls out, leaking tip still connected to you by a bridge of spit and precum.

“Why-” Cough. “Why did you stop?” 

Your question is met with only the sound of rustling fabric and the chime of his hanging belt buckle as he removes his suit jacket and throws it into the passenger seat. Grabbing you by the band of your lingerie, Jungkook hauls your frame closer.

He snaps your taut bra strap against your shoulder with a single finger. “Take this off.”

“O-Okay,” you stutter, still trying to catch your breath as you sit up at the waist and unclip your bra. A shiver runs down your spine as the cool night air licks your exposed chest. This time when you lie down, you’re positioned under his spread legs. He stands over you with such authority and dominance. The underside view of his hard cock looks absolutely menacing. 

“These,” Jungkook’s large palms grab at your tits, jiggling them, “I wanna fuck ‘em.”

“There isn’t anything for you to fuck,” you giggle. 

After years of insecurity, and crying over vengeful comments from dumb boys you had broken things off with, you finally came to terms with your appearance. Your tits are small, and that’s okay. Plus, the cute little nipple piercings you had gotten a while back were definitely a confidence booster. There wasn’t an ounce of self-hatred in your comment.

Jungkook doesn’t take it that way, though.

“Shut up.” With a huff, he steps back and hunches, reaching down to deliver a harsh swat to your cheek. It was a little rougher than usual, and you wince upon impact. Instantly, he soothes the skin with a gentle pet. “Your tits are… perfect.”

Perfect? Your cheeks and aching pussy heat up at the compliment.

Squeezing your chest, Jungkook brushes his thumbs over your pebbled nipples. He pays extra attention to the silver barbells, decorated with little sparkly peaches at the ends. “These are new,” he notes, tugging on the jewelry. You let out a breathy moan, legs clenching together, inner thighs embarrassingly wet. “Sheesh,” he laughs, “someone’s sensitive.”

“Yeah… keep going.”

“I like them. They’re cute on you.”

Throughout your acquaintances, Jungkook was rarely this vocal. Maybe some praise sprinkled in here and there, but seldom anything substantial. Tonight, however, he’s been dishing out sweet talk like candy. You can’t pinpoint precisely what, but something’s changed.

Whatever it is, it fills you with awful, wishful hope.

Jungkook shuffles closer, teasing the teat of your pierced bud with his sticky tip. The dreamy sensation has your eyes rolling back into your skull. A glob of spit drops between the valley of your breasts before he spreads the wetness over your skin with his shaft. He has to use a death grip to force your tits into a soft plushness, perfect for him to slot himself into. Again, you feel that fucking ring embedding itself into your skin like a nasty tick. 

Cautiously, he guides his pulsing cock between your constrained breasts. A beautiful symphony of groans lulls out as he throws his head back in pleasure, long locks dancing along his clammy neck. 

“You like that?” You hum, taunting him. “Tell me how it feels.”

It takes him a minute to collect his thoughts, eyes trained on your tits pillowing around him, focusing on the dewy sheen of your nipples and chest as his oozing cock spills onto your skin. “It feels-” his hips stutter, “-so fucking good.”

The way his teeth snarl around the hushed curse makes you smile, eyes closing as you relish in his pleasure. Maybe you’re too horny, or perhaps the blood rushing to your head from being upside down for so long is making you crazy, but you wish you could live in this moment forever. Wallowing in the darkness, frozen in time with him. Yeah, you think, that would be wonderful.

“You can touch yourself,” he comments, spotting your clenched legs, desperate for some pressure. 

“S’okay,” you mumble, reaching around to caress his balls. His thighs tremble a bit against your arms. “Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Can you-” he grunts, stomach clenching as he begins to feel that familiar pooling in the base of his thick shaft. “Hold them for me. I’ll take care of you after, just- let me cum.”

Obliging, you replace his hands with your own, squishing your tits together for him. The visual of you lying under him, complacent and willing, sends him spiraling. A guttural roar echoes throughout the empty road as he speeds up. “Tighter,” he orders; you listen. The saliva and precum are beginning to rub off, making the friction of his chaotic thrusts sting your skin. He notices, letting another string of spit fall from his mouth onto your flesh. “Be good and take it. I’m almost there.”

By now, Jungkook should know you’d endure any pain to be with him. 

The darkest parts of your brain tell you he’s well aware of that fact. 

After a few more humps and lulled words of encouragement, he’s bursting at the seams. Just before he blows, Jungkook steps back, tight fist jerking himself frantically as he spills his seed onto your chest. Your eyes dart from his red, angry cock to his fucked out expressions. The moonlight shines behind him like a glowing aura as he finishes with a scrunched nose and his tongue between his teeth. He looks angelic. You moan under him, flinching when a stray spurt lands on your chin. 

Fucked out and dazed, he laughs softly, running a hand through his hair as his chest heaves. Collecting the liquid with his finger, he brings it to your giggling lips. The taste makes you hum as you lazily begin rubbing his cum all over your tits. 

“Really?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. “You’re already starting?”

“Starting what?” You pout, batting your lashes at him and circling your nipple lightly with the tip of your nail, trying your best to look oblivious and innocent. Well, as innocent as you possibly can while literally covered in sperm. 

“Don’t play dumb. You know what you’re doing.”

See, in many ways, Jungkook is different from any other guy you’ve been with prior. For one, you didn’t meet via horny messages on Tinder at 1 a.m. For two, he’s older, meaning he’s much more intelligent and much more experienced. After years and years of honing in on his craft, he just knows how to fuck. Jungkook is one of the rare few penis-havers in the world who can orgasm back to back; no refractory period necessary. Truly a hidden gem. 

To put it simply, the man is a fucking faucet—one that you can turn off and on whenever you want. 

As if on cue, Jungkook twirls his inked finger, indicating for you to turn around. The other hand squeezes his cock just below the crown to cut off circulation, keeping himself erect. With that, your white converses are planted flat onto the sparse grass as you bend over the back seat, leaning your weight on your elbows. 

It's like whiplash when Jungkook's aggressive persona drops, and he's running his hands all over your body. Up your thighs, over your back, down your arms. He blooms petal-soft kisses on your bare shoulder before whispering in your ear. “Can I go in like this? Or do you need some foreplay?”

“This is fine,” you murmur, jarred by his sudden tenderness. “Perfect, actually.” 

With a hushed ‘alright,’ Jungkook reaches over you to rummage through the pocket of his discarded blazer. A heavy sigh escapes your lips as he pulls out a square foil packet. Condoms were an unwavering constant in your weekend escapades. Jungkook always wears condoms. Normally, that would be a great thing; however, in this situation, it’s like a stab to the heart…

Because if he’s adamant about using protection with you, then that means he’s still sleeping with her, doesn’t it? And it’s not like you can even ask or scold him about it. She’s his wife, after all. You’re the outsider. 

Jungkook hooks his thumb into your panties and pulls them aside. Your glistening folds are on full display, waiting to get pounded mercilessly right on the side of the road. He shoves three digits into your mouth, letting your drool on them a bit before pressing them to your wet cunt. Opening your folds with his index and ring fingers, he lightly dips the middle inside you. He collects some arousal and spreads it to your clit in feathery flicking motions. You cry out, feeling the shocks of a blossoming orgasm. 

“Already dripping, I see.” You can practically hear his cocky, satisfied grin as he stands straight and rolls the condom down his length. “Always so sensitive.”

“Mhm,” you nod frantically, “I always get like this with you.”

“I know you do.” Pulling a cheek to the side, Jungkook cards his sheathed tip through your entrance, making sure to nudge under your clitoral hood with every swipe. Lewd wet sounds ring in your ears as he tortures your hole relentlessly. 

“Kook,” you huff, reaching back to dig your manicured, almond-shaped nails into his skin. “Just put it in!”

Suddenly, Jungkook slams your torso onto the leather. In one swift motion, he’s catching your wrists, pinning them both to your lower back with a single hand. 

“I’ll give you what you want just-” releasing the back of your neck, he spanks you so hard you recoil, “be patient.”

Despite his words, you wait no longer than a minute before he’s guiding his dreamy member right where you want it. Jungkook always gives in quickly. How could he not when you’re ass up, face down, and practically begging? As he sinks into you, and you feel that familiar burn from the initial stretch, your eyes roll back, mouth opening around a silent scream. 

Usually, Jungkook likes to overwhelm you with his entire length all at once. There’s some hesitation this time as he slides in only halfway before stopping. Too much hesitation for your liking. You’re confident he’s testing you. Your assumption is verified when he speaks in that annoying, condescending voice.

“If you want it so bad, come get it.”

“You’re so,” breaking free from his grasp, you press your palms into the seat and lift yourself up with a grumble, “infuriating.”

He hums halfheartedly, head dropping to watch you work yourself onto him. Only a single stroke in, and he can already see you coating him in a shiny, milky dew. “So fucking wet…”

“Can’t help it,” you peep, taking him to the hilt and circling your hips, trying to savor the feeling. You’re no stranger to his cock; how good it makes you feel. You spend every Friday night bathing in that pleasure, forgoing parties and hangouts with your best friends for a romp in the five-star hotel sheets with Jungkook. Still, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to commit his touch to memory. Perhaps, despite your denial, you recognize that this is temporary. Deep down, you know that someday, all you’ll have left of him is a tragic echo. “I love the way you make me feel.”

“Me too,” he gasps, guiding your movements as his fingers dig into your hips. Clearly interpreting your admission differently than you had meant it. “Your pussy’s like heaven.” 

High on praise and drunk on the sounds you’re coaxing out of him, you whine, dragging your cunt up every inch of his throbbing length before slamming back. Hopefully, the dense forest behind you is enough to insulate the pornographic wails ripping through you. Even if someone somewhere hears, you can’t bring yourself to give a damn. Not when heady pleasure and adrenaline course through your veins like blood. 

Just when you’re about to collapse, arms giving out underneath you, Jungkook grabs you by the neck and holds you flush against his toned chest. “Don’t you run,” he chuckles. The low baritone rumble goes straight to your clit. His warm breath gusts over your skin, contrasting the chilly night air. “Don’t give up on me.”

He’s pounding into you now, choking you tighter than he ever has, but he pecks you so delicately. Lips barely ghosting over the shell of your ear. So gentle and tender. As tears stream down your cheeks for the second time tonight, you can’t help but feel there’s a hidden meaning behind his words.

“What’s wrong?” He smirks, tilting your face, wanting you to look him in the eye as you fall apart. The visual nearly makes you combust. His stringy hair is sticking to his cheeks, flushed from exertion. Even the tattoos littering the expanse of his neck are splotched pink and red. Twisting in his hold, you grab a fistful of his damp waves, fingers tickling his short undercut. “What do you want, baby?”

“Cum…”

“You wanna cum?”

“Please, please, please.” Weak whimpers punch out of you in tandem with his brutal thrusts.

“What do you say?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl,” he rewards you with a smack to your sensitive clit, “you can cum. I’ve got you.”

And with his permission, you’re cumming. Your legs shake violently as you’re overcome with blinding, electric gratification. If it wasn’t for Jungkook’s strong arms supporting you, you would’ve toppled face-first into the seat. He fucks you through the height of your orgasm; hips never ceasing, even when everything becomes so intense and sensitive that your body instinctively tries to push him away. He watches your face intently, reading your expressions to ensure he’s milked every last drop of your orgasm before he lets you fall onto the leather.

Even in your hazy state, you catch the breathy string of curses, a telltale sign of his own impending orgasm. “Fuck!” He groans, removing the condom to paint your ass and lower back in hot, white ropes. 

It’s funny, really. 

He refuses to cum with you or inside you, something so intimate and special, but he has no qualms cumming on you. It’s almost like he’s marking you, burning himself into your flesh. Consuming a piece of you every time your bodies come together as one. 

And all the while, his mind is somewhere else as his body swallows you alive. 

“Look at you,” Jungkook laughs, smoothing a palm up and down your spine, rubbing his semen into your skin the same way you had earlier. “I’ve made a mess out of you.” 

That’s true in more ways than one…

Lost in post-nut clarity, your brain barely registers Jungkook maneuvering you both into the car. Closing the door behind him, he moves you onto his lap, your back pressed against his sweaty button-up. Peering down, you see his slacks and boxers still around his ankles, black dress shoes poking out underneath. You’re in only a thong and sneakers, and your makeup is definitely melted. The two of you must look like the biggest sluts ever.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook mutters, noticing your delirious giggles. 

“Oh, nothing,” you hum, leaning into him. Habitually, he wraps both of his inked arms around your middle. You despise how incredibly natural and serendipitous it feels, almost like you’re meant to be in them.

God __, get your head out of the clouds and return to Earth. 

Life isn’t a romance novel, and you’re not a child anymore. You shouldn’t see the world as quartz-colored and magical. The man is seven years older than you. He has a wife and child. Logistically, it could never, ever work…

But if soulmates exist as they do in the books, you wish on every falling star that Jungkook is yours.

“What are you thinking about?” You coo softly, turning your head to stare into the abyss of his infinite eyes.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, he can’t resist lowering his sinful hand to your most private area, cupping your sex unabashedly. “I want more.”

“You always want more.” 

“So do you,” he laughs, pointing out the way you grind into his touch. Nuzzling into your shoulder, he nips your skin and then soothes his tongue over it like an insincere apology. “Just one more time, okay?”

You nod, head leaning back on his shoulder as you succumb to his skilled fingers, rubbing your clit in tight circles. Jungkook pauses in contemplation before popping his glistening fingers into his mouth. When the taste hits his tongue, his face contorts. He even moans dreamily like you’re the most delicious dessert he’s experienced. The scene has your own brows furrowing, lips parting at just how hot and bothered he’s got you. 

Sensually, he trails the wet pads down, ghosting over a nipple, teasing you on their treacherous journey to your waiting core. He slides them in your wet cunt seamlessly, curling right into your g-spot. They move in a dip and wave that drives you wild, a wet suction noise sounding in the enclosed space. Turned on by your purrs and mewls, Jungkook subtly ruts against you, his plumping cock sliding between your cheeks.

“You’re already close, aren’t you?” He tuts patronizingly. “Gonna cum around my fingers, sweetheart?”

“No…”

“No?”

“Wanna cum with you…”

He stops, realizing what you’re alluding to, before pulling his fingers out and tapping your clit gently. “There’s another condom in my pocket. Can you hand it to me?”

“We don’t need it.”

“Yes, we do. Don’t be foolish.”

“... I’m on the pill,” you suggest hesitantly. Once again, you’re nothing but stupid and irresponsible when it comes to Jungkook. You just want to be with him, that’s all. 

“__,” he starts, voice shadowed with sternness, “give me the condom.”

Realizing he won’t budge, you do as he asks and fish it from his blazer, watching idly as he goes through all the steps—stroking himself to full mass, rolling on a barrier, and then positioning you between his spread legs as he guides you down onto his length with a hand on your hip. 

Cyclical. 

Like clockwork, your jaw drops, eyes screwing shut as you let him invade your space and infiltrate your mind. You don’t believe the two of you have ever tried this position before, but it feels so fucking good. His cock is so deep you can feel it in your fucking stomach. It’s obvious from his groaning and the aggressive spank he gives you that the unexplored angle is affecting him too. 

Outside, light rain begins chiming against the steel roof of his car as you take the first shallow rise of your hips. 

Scratch everything you’ve said about this not being a romance novel.

Distracted by the calming sound, you thoroughly miscalculate how much space you have in his sleek Mercedes Benz and bonk your head on the ceiling.

“Ow,” you wince with an embarrassed giggle.

Hissing at the impact, Jungkook clutches your head, massaging the area gently. “Are you okay?” His voice is muffled, and you can tell he’s trying his best not to laugh. 

“It’s not funny!” You shout playfully, slapping his knee. 

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.” Chuckling, he moves your hair and places a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. “You’re cute, that's all.”

Cute? You swoon. 

“Alright baby, keep going. Don’t stop,” Jungkook orders, the heel of his calloused palms pushing at your ass, encouraging you to bounce on his needy cock. A fucked-out sigh escapes him, head falling back for a split second before it jerks back up again, not wanting to miss the view of your perky cheeks rippling as they collide with his solid pelvis. “This position is so sexy.” Overwhelmed, he doesn’t know where to put his hands. He chokes you for a moment, plays with your tits, swats them, grabs your hips, and then finally settles on your clit, flicking it like a light switch.

“Jungkook!” You wail, knees knocking together as you brace yourself. Men you’ve dated in the past struggled to get you off. Sure, they made you feel good, but they couldn’t quite bring you to the edge. It only ever took Jungkook a matter of minutes to have you whimpering and shaking, begging for release. “I can’t take so much! I can’t!”

Ignoring your pleas, Jungkook pilots your right arm around his shoulder, sending you flush against his frame once more. Dipping his head, he sucks the closest nipple into his mouth. Caught off guard, you’re so overstimulated that your hips come to a grinding halt.

“Move,” he commands with his lips sealed around your piercing, sending dizzying vibrations to your sensitive bud. 

“I can’t,” you whimper, back arching off his chest as you try to calm all five tingling senses. 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No…”

Jeon Jungkook was never one to take no for an answer. 

Scooting further down the seat, his large hands clasp behind your knees. He lifts your legs until the heels of your white sneakers are on either side of the driver’s headrest. In this new position, he’s able to pound up into you freely, relentlessly beating into clenching walls. Hitting every single delicious spot inside of you. “Jungkook, please!”

“Please, what?” Honestly, you have no clue what you’re begging for. All you know is that his mushroom tip rigorously stimulating your g-spot is going to have you gushing at any moment. His guttural, sensual groaning does nothing to slow your approaching orgasm. “You want more?” 

As if you weren’t already gasping for air, Jungkook raises your legs to your head, knees locked onto his inner elbows. His fingers intertwine behind your neck, thumbs pressing into the base of your throat as he folds you in half. 

A full fucking nelson. 

“Watch me fuck it.” With a stern grip, he forces your gaze to his thick shaft, sliding in and out of your sopping cunt. Your vision is watery, but you can clearly see just how turned on you are, creamy juices coating his entire shaft. “Open it, baby. Watch what I do to you.” 

Reaching both hands under your thighs, you spread your lips, getting a better look at him completely destroying you.

“Isn’t it so pretty?” Jungkook grunts, speech slurred as his arousal lulls him into a delirious, catatonic state. “Tell me what you see, baby.”

“So pretty, Kook.” You’re simply playing into his dirty talk, but the sight of your bodies connecting, becoming one, is profoundly gorgeous. “So wet…”

“Yeah? Who’s pussy is this?”

“Yours.”

That sends him into a frenzy, thrusts becoming so punctuated and violent that his cock accidentally slips out. 

“Put it back in, put it back in!” You chant, frantically shoving his length into you. The yelp you chortle out is accompanied by the sound of your hand smacking against the foggy car window as your climax engulfs you. “I love it!”

“I love yo-”

He quickly cuts himself off, but everything stops when the sentence fragment hits the air. 

Is your brain playing sick, twisted jokes on you… or was he really just about to say he loved you?

Before you can even process what’s happening, your biological responses take over, sending through the most earth-shattering, world-bending, mind-boggling orgasm you’ve ever had. Everything goes blank. Your eyes cloud with splotches and stars. Your ears ring with static and white noise, blurring the sound of Jungkook cumming underneath you, and the pouring rain outside, splashing against concrete. 

This time, he doesn’t pull out, just works through both of your orgasms with gentle ruts and vulnerable whimpers.

After you’ve both calmed down and your heaves have diminished to a slow, even pattern, he pulls out, crumpling the used condom into a loose napkin he found in the center console. Still on his lap and in his arms, you watch intently as Jungkook leans his head back, eyes closing as he inhales deeply. To you, he looks almost… peaceful. 

The moon trickles in through the thin streams on the window, reflecting on his face like stained glass—something that was once so clear and pure now jaded with somber shades of blue. Sad, but still beautiful, you think. 

Delicately, you trace a finger over the black ink decorating his skin. You sit silently for a while, basking in the comfortable aura, simply enjoying one another’s company, before you finally speak.

“Why this?” You peep, pointing to the dainty letters at the base of his neck.

“It’s my daughter’s name.” He counters playfully, the faintest hint of a smile on his pierced lips.

“Well, duh, I know that,” you roll your eyes with a giggle, “but why here?”

“Yul is like air to me.” 

Humming in contemplation, you continue your journey over the endless swirls and loops. During sex, the first three buttons of his shirt popped open, exposing the pale canvas of his chest. You feel a thick, dark cloud loom over you when you reach a certain tattoo, the one that’s plagued your mind ever since you first saw it. 

Another name is engraved right above his heart in the same delicate font as Yul’s:

Seol. 

“Yul, please. Enough.” If Jungkook had a dollar for every time he's said that in the last twenty-two minutes, he’d be nearly as rich as his boss, sitting directly in front of him on a very important Zoom call. “Daddy is working.”

Jumping at the sudden inflection of his voice, the little girl on his lap pulls her tiny hand away. For the most part, Yul was well-behaved. However, working from home proved to be an obstacle that he and his clingy toddler have yet to overcome. 

She’s interrupted his meeting three times already. First, cutting off his proposal with the Baby Shark theme song, blaring from her Pinkfong tablet that he’d forgotten to mute. Second, peeking above his desk with her space buns and doe eyes to show his colleagues the latest addition to her squishmallow collection. The last straw was when she squeezed his nose. 

With watery eyes and warbled lips, Yul blinks at Jungkook, heartbroken and confused as to why he didn’t make that funny noise she loves so much. Quickly, her gaze averts to her chunky legs, swinging aimlessly as she attempts to hold back the tears.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Jungkook sighs, tacking on an apology before turning his screen off. “Bunny,” he lifts her chin with his index finger, another palm flat on her protruding tummy, “please, don’t cry. You’re not in trouble. Daddy just-”

The ring of a doorbell interrupts him.

“__?” Jungkook questions, baby at his hip as he stands in the doorway before you. “What are you doing here?”

You gulp. You weren’t expecting to see him.

Usually, you spoke to Seulgi. You’ve only ever seen Jungkook in passing, sparing quick greetings before he’s out the door. It worked in your favor, really, because for whatever reason, you felt extremely awkward around him.

Almost like that gross nervousness you get when you’re around someone you find so incredibly attractive it makes you uncomfortable…

Maybe it’s because he’s covered in tattoos and piercings. Maybe it’s because he’s a dad. Your group of fellow horny twenty-something-year-old friends have told you mythical stories and fantasies about older men. Freshly turned thirty-year-old men. Men like Jungkook. Dilfs. Something about that potent dad nut… Like, you know it works. 

It’s inappropriate; you know it is. You’ve always tried your best to ignore the feral thoughts.

Today seems to be putting your mental strength to the test because Jungkook is dressed in baggy gray sweats, long dark hair slicked back into a ponytail. A few loose strands dangle devilishly in front of his eyes, taunting you.

“I-It’s 10… I’m supposed to be babysitting.”

“I’m working from home today. My wife didn’t tell you?”

With wide eyes and hot cheeks, you shake your head. “I’m sorry for bothering you,” you stutter, stepping back and preparing to make a mad dash to your hand-me-down Honda Civic. “I’ll just… be on my way then.” 

“Actually.” An icy grip on your wrist stops you. “I could use some help. This one-” he nods his head towards Yul, stuck to him like velcro, “-is being a bit needy today.” 

One look at her turns your flustered gape into a smile. The past month with her has been more difficult than you’d imagined. Yul was incredibly sweet and intuitive, but unbearably shy. Building a relationship with the girl was challenging, but you were determined to overcome it. “No way,” you frown animatedly, tickling her leg with the tip of your finger, “Yul would never.”

A giggle or two had been the goal. Instead, she buries her face into her father’s shoulder.

“Don’t take it personally,” Jungkook orders, noticing the defeated slump in your shoulders. “She’s always like this with new people.”

Seulgi had warned you that Yul would take a while to come around. Hopefully, it’ll happen organically. But for now, a little gift or two wouldn’t hurt your efforts, you supposed last night while running errands. Reaching into your purse, you pull out a bottle of non-toxic, baby-friendly nail polish. “Yul, look what I have!”

“Wow,” Jungkook plays along, gently nudging her head out of his neck. “Bunny, look!”

He calls her Bunny? 

You’re in for it now. 

Plump fingers wrap around the plastic, taking it out of your own with an awe-stricken stare. She holds it up right in front of Jungkook’s nose. “Pink.”

“Mhm, that’s right,” he confirms, pecking her temple. “Now, Daddy has to get back to work. Can you stay with __ for a bit?”

She looks at him, then at you, then at him again, then back at you, and finally, landing on the nail polish, giving her father a reluctant nod. You knew it would come in handy. Despite her agreeance, Yul still stretches the neck of his shirt with her tiny fists as she’s transferred into your arms. 

Somehow, you managed to survive that painfully awkward encounter…

Only to be thrown into another one immediately after. 

See, you’ve always known Yul was a daddy’s girl. On good days, the toddler would grab you by the hand and guide you around the house, giving you a tour of everything that belonged to her father. His shoes at the door. His coat on the hook. Even taking you into the bathroom to show you his shampoo bottle. But that fact was never more apparent than now, as Yul stands in the middle of the living room on the verge of tears.

“Daddy?”

“He’s working, sweetheart. Remember?” You coo on your knees in front of her. You’re quick to redirect her. “I like your shoes.”

The sniffles stop as she glances down at her white sneakers. “Mine…” she takes a hesitant step back, mistaking your compliment as an attempt to swindle her out of them. 

“That’s right,” you laugh, “they’re so pretty, just like you.”

She blinks at you for a moment, and then begins stomping her little foot: heel first. When she’s finally able to kick off her left shoe, she bends all the way over, pressing her palms flat against the hardwood floor. It’s the most uncoordinated way you’ve ever seen anyone pick something up. 

Without warning, Yul throws the shoe across the room. Well, that had been her intention, you assume. She had cocked her arm back too far and released too early, making it land behind her. 

Oh no, she hates you. 

With an excited grunt and a bounce, Yul points to the sneaker—its clear sole sparkling pink and purple.

“Oh,” you sigh in relief. “They light up?” 

“Yesh.” Plopping right onto her butt, she takes the other one off, repeating the process. “Like this!” Her arms stretch out and she clenches her two little front teeth, executing the most stellar charade of a light you’ve ever seen. 

It’s a small breakthrough, but you’ll take it. 

Then you paint her nails, just like you said you would. She’s as patient as a toddler could be, but her tiny toe keeps curling under the tickle of the brush, making pink polish bleed outside of the lines. 

“My goodness,” you groan, admiring the messy, albeit adorable, result. “You’re so cute! Wait until your dad sees you.” 

Yul shrieks wildly, smacking both hands over her mouth as she hobbles to her feet. You watch with confused giggles as the milk-drunk baby stumbles down the corridor. You figure out where she's going too late. 

Yul stands on her tippy toes, jumping to click open the door to Jungkook’s office with a loud creak. 

“Yul!” You whisper-shout. “Don’t-”

“Daddy!” She calls, stepping a single foot into the room, showing off the fresh paint job. “So cute!” 

Literally, your only job today was to keep Yul preoccupied while Jungkook worked, and you failed. Your breath catches in your throat, awaiting his response. 

“So pretty,” he gasps, “now go play, baby. I’m almost done.” 

A relieved exhale flies past your lips. 

Something you’ve picked up on from years of babysitting is that little girls aren’t allowed to compliment themselves. They’re always told it’s rude or conceited. Jungkook does neither, and you find that so refreshing. 

“Close the door, please,” he orders before she runs away, “gently.” Yul does her very best to shut the door quietly and then sprints back to you. 

The next few hours go smoothly. You discovered that the green-hating toddler has an affinity for avocados after giving her a bite of your toast. “Mmm!” She had hummed, looking at you with wide eyes. With a full belly and squishmallow in hand, Yul went out like a light for her afternoon nap, giving you time to catch up on some reading. 

“How was she?” You didn’t even hear him come out of his office, so the deep voice makes you jump, eyes tracking the sound. He’s leaning against a kitchen counter, one tattooed hand stuffed in his pocket and the other wrapped around a water bottle. It’s a thick one too, and his fingers still touch. 

“Better,” you cough, “she’s sleeping now.”

He hums halfheartedly, dark irises boring into you as he takes a sip. Without Yul to soften the edges, Jungkook is… intimidating, to say the least. “What are you reading?”

“The Catcher in the Rye…” you peep, quickly closing it. “I know, it’s kinda lame.”

“No, not lame at all. Anyone who thinks that is lying to themselves… or is just being a contrarian.” He leans his elbows against the dark granite island, fingers crossing as he stares at you. You’re sitting idle across the room, but his presence looms over you. He has this way of making you feel like he’s in your head, listening to everything you’re thinking. 

You pray he’s not. If he is, you'll definitely be fired. 

“I can’t tell which one you are yet.”

You can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but the ‘yet’ makes you come clean, shifting in your spot on the leather couch. “... Both.”

“Right,” he smirks, tongue fiddling with his lip ring, almost like he’s taunting you. “That’s one of my favorite books, actually. I relate to it in many ways.”

Your fingers dance across the red cover, concealing hundreds of pages of isolation, emptiness, and the heavy dread of passing time. What an awful thing to relate to. Sometimes, when you get too engrossed in the text, glimmers of yourself bleed within the lines too. 

“You’re an English major, right?”

“Oh, um, I’m not in school at the moment… I just read for fun.”

“Well, you have an Associate’s degree.” Him knowing that information about you makes you think he asked the previous question with the intention of baiting you into this conversation. “Why not get your Bachelor’s?”

“I don’t know. It’s… complicated.” 

Why is he interrogating you? What does he want? For you to confess that the fear of becoming a full-fledged adult makes you not want to go back to college? 

“Life is complicated. You’d be ridiculous to not go back.” The audacity should make you mad, but he speaks with so much authority that you’re dumbfounded. His head tilts, eyes squinting as they shift to the ceiling, debating something. His tongue clicks when he finally makes his decision. “Follow me; I have something I want to show you.” 

With the curl of two thick fingers, Jungkook calls you to follow him down the hallway. You blink for a moment, gushing at the suggestive motion of his hand. Shaking your head at the evil, intrusive thought, you rise to your feet. 

Just like a child, you have to skip to catch up to his long strides. Your gaze trails along white walls; there are pictures of him and Yul, Yul and Seulgi, but not a single one of them all together. 

Now that you think about it, any affection you’ve ever seen in the household was reserved for Yul and Yul only. Seems like trouble in paradise…

You shouldn’t speculate.

The heavy wooden door creaks as Jungkook holds it open for you. You’re not sure what you expected his room to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. The rest of the house is pretty modern, consisting of sleek blacks, whites, and woods. Countertops designed with icy swirled marble. Everything has this cold, impersonal vibe, but this room is the total opposite. The walls are baby blue, decorated top to bottom with dreamy clouds. You spot a chubby yellow star peeking out from underneath one of them, adorned with a hand-painted smiley face. On his nightstand, there’s a pastel purple foldable record player. Standing behind it is a single vinyl: Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. 

“Since you like to read,” Jungkook coughs, turning your attention to a sleek bookcase, stuffed to the brim with hundreds of titles you’ve never even heard of. “I figured you’d appreciate my collection.”

“Yeah, it’s…” The words trail off as you step forward. On a whim, your finger extends, tracing the delicate spine of a well-loved book. A low chuckle brings you back to reality; you peep, cheeks heating up in embarrassment as you yank your hand away. “It’s… really cool.”

“You can borrow something if you’d like. Does anything catch your eye?” Plopping down onto the computer chair, Jungkook rummages through his desk drawer and pulls out a tiny black case. You didn’t even know he wore glasses, and when he nudges them comfily onto the bridge of his nose, you nearly melt. As if he could get any more attractive.

“N-No,” you stutter as he wheels closer. Even though you’re towering over him, you still feel so small in his presence. You pray to God he can’t sense how incredibly nervous he makes you. “Not really.” 

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know,” he hums, low and sly. “Do I make you nervous?”

“No!” You peep in shock. Is the man a fucking mindreader? 

“Right.” Jungkook peers over the rim of his lenses, dark eyes glimmering in the whimsical glow of the room. “So __, what do you want to be?”

“A teacher,” you say, playing with your fingers.

“My wife wanted to be a teacher, too.” He shoots you the softest, gentlest smile. “She ended up doing business instead.” 

“Why?” You ask, gnawing on your bottom lip. You don’t mean to pry, but this is the first time you’ve ever actually talked to him in a meaningful way. Something about him intrigues you, like a puzzle you’re determined to find all the pieces to. 

“Ah, well,” he sighs, inked fingers scratching at the back of his neck. “We figured it’d be best for our family if we both pursued more lucrative career paths. I switched my major from English to finance.” You light up at the confession, the similarity putting you at ease. “I’m sorry if I was abrasive earlier,” he frowns, “I settled down young and had to sacrifice a lot, so I encourage you to go for something that fulfills you.” With his elbows on his knees, he leans closer to you. “I think you’d be a fantastic teacher. You take care of my daughter well.”

“Thank you,” you peep, cheeks heating up at the compliment. “I mean… you didn’t have Yul that young.” He tried to comfort you, so it’s only fair you do the same, right? “I think your late twenties are a great time to have children.”

Almost immediately, his face drops, eyes glazing over with something so raw. So… longing. You’ve never seen anything like it before. The corners of his nose twitch before he composes himself. “Yeah, I suppose they are.” His pink tongue toys with his lip ring, swiftly changing the subject. “You seem surprised.” 

“I guess I just wasn’t expecting all this.” 

“Expecting what?” 

“I don’t know,” you laugh clumsily, “books.” You mentally curse yourself as soon as the answer comes out. Really, __? Books? 

“What?” He starts, raising a brow at you. “You thought I couldn’t read?”

Thankfully, Jungkook takes your comment playfully. 

“Maybe,” you respond in the same lighthearted manner, feeling a bit more comfortable in his presence, “I also didn’t expect your room to look like a little boy’s room.”

All of the cheerfulness in the air evaporates as Jungkook glares at you with a clenched jaw and flared nostrils. Cleary irate. You’ve triggered a landmine.

“Jungkook, I’m-”

“Stop talking.” He raises a hand, cutting you off before you finish the sentence. Turning his back to you, he wheels over to his desk. “You can leave. You’re done for the day.” 

Looking back, you know why he was so upset that day. You had put the puzzle pieces together a while ago. You’re unsure of the details, and asking for them feels wrong. Silence feels wrong, too, though. Until now, you’ve never dared to speak up. 

You have no idea how to navigate something of this magnitude, but you just want him to know that you’re here. That you’re trying.

Cautiously, with your hand still on the tattoo, you whisper: “He must’ve been so beautiful, Jungkook…”

The thumb that had been drawing soft shapes into your side comes to an eerie pause as he freezes under you. When you look at him, your heart shatters. His chin is caved in with little dents, eyes glazed over with so much emotion. You’ve never seen a human being look so broken.

“Get off me.”

You frown at the shift in his demeanor. “Why?”

Remaining tight-lipped, Jungkook physically removes you from his lap, dumping you onto the seat next to him.

“Why can’t we ever talk about anything serious?”

He remains quiet as he slides his underwear up, not sparing you a single glance. When he speaks, his tone is painfully detached. “Like what?”

“Like what you said,” you answer curtly. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were about to.”

Shaking his head with a cynical chuckle, he begins buttoning his pants, pretending you don’t exist. Like you’re not right beside him, falling to pieces. 

Your eyes dart to the ceiling, lashes fluttering rapidly as you mull over what to say next. You guess now would be an appropriate time to ask him what you’ve wanted for weeks. Blinking does nothing to combat your unshed tears when you realize that his answer has the potential to destroy everything you’ve been dreaming about. Everything you’ve hoped for. “When are you going to leave her?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous, Jungkook!” Shaking your head furiously, you feel the first hints of anger in your chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment. “I’m not! I see the way you look at me!”

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Huh?” Finally, he’s paying attention to you, just not in the way you hoped. His face is beet red as he leans closer. “Don’t tell me you actually thought we were going to end up together, __. Seriously? You’re my babysitter! You’re seven years younger than me! This isn’t some fucking fairytale; it’s life! There’s no such thing as happily-ever-afters—grow up and stop acting like a damn child!”

“No, Jungkook,” you croak, fully sobbing as you push an angry finger into his chest. “You’re the one who’s acting childish! I may not be the most mature person, but at least I know how to accept love!”

“So let’s say I divorce my wife, then what? Huh?” He seethes. “I get partial custody? I only see Yul on weekends? Every other week? She grows up in a broken home? I refuse to ruin my daughter’s life like that.”

You take a shaky breath, eyes shifting to the car floor, the air fresher on his mirror, the window. Anywhere but him. The way Jungkook explains your make-believe future together is nothing how you envisioned it. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s just a fucking asshole. Neither thought process eases the pain.

“But you’re okay with ruining mine?”

For a moment, his features soften, and you see a glimmer of guilt wash over him. It fizzles out just as fast as it came. “You’re being dramatic.” Jungkook steps outside, tucking his shirt into his pants. “Get dressed.” 

With jittery hands and blurry eyes, you grab your discarded lace bra, the one you had bought just for tonight, and slide it on your shoulders. When you pick your shirt up, you see that it’s ripped and tattered. Completely destroyed. 

“Here,” Jungkook mumbles, tossing you his blazer as he watches you in the rearview. 

Once you’re dressed, you awkwardly slide into the passenger seat. The scent of his cologne makes your head pound and your stomach flip. 

“I want to go home.”

His lips part, preparing to persuade you otherwise. The hotel room he booked is ready and waiting, just as it is every Friday. He decides against it, simply murmuring an ‘okay’ before putting the keys in the ignition and starting the engine. 

“Do you want to get something to eat before I drop you off?” 

You just want your dad. 

“I just want to go home.”

Other than the whoosh of splashing puddles and your soft sniffles, the ride to your house is painfully silent. Leaning your head against the window, you watch the moon. For miles and miles, it never changes. It’s stagnant, frozen in time, surrounded by nothing but endless blackness. 

“Stop crying! I can’t stand it anymore!” Jungkook shouts, hitting the steering wheel with his open palm, finally growing uncomfortable from your non-stop tears. The sudden outburst makes you flinch. Sighing heavily, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just… stop crying, please.”

You sink further into your seat, curling your lips into your mouth to suppress a sob.

“I’m not worth your tears, __.”

You feel nothing but relief when he finally turns onto your street, stopping all the way at the end, concealed by the night and the shadows of overhanging trees. 

“Am I picking you up next Friday?” He asks just before you leave. 

With raw cheeks and a scowl, you slam the door in his face. 

Your feet are so heavy that the sidewalk sinks under you like quicksand. No matter how many steps you take, the comfort of your house seems out of reach. Too far gone. Confusion weighs on your shoulders. You should feel proud, empowered even, but that voice in the back of your mind smothers any sense of relief. 

Deep down, you know this isn’t going to be the last weekend you spend with Jungkook. 

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]

[badwithten]

Lock Down | CHRISTMAS EVEL - STRAY KIDS ADVENT CALENDAR

PAIRING Felix x fem!reader

GENRE horror

WORD COUNT 1.1k

SYNOPSIS Despite being locked inside your family's farm house due to the poor weather conditions outside, life couldn't be better. Nothing but you, Felix and a cosy environment to spend time with the person you loved the most. All is well until you start to hear movement outside in the snow storm. But with the worsening conditions, there's no way for any human to survive out there. So who keeps knocking on the door? 

A/N yo this one low key sucks but im tired lol love you kisses

MASTERLIST

“Ah Felix” Your dad is as loud as ever from the front porch, he looks like a dog waiting for his owner to arrive, getting excited when he sees the car pull up. But to be fair, Felix is just as excited, climbing out of his seat as soon as you turn off the vehicle. Pulling your boyfriend in for a tight hug while you wait for your turn patiently. “Come here Y/N”

“Thanks for having us sir” Felix knows that your dad adores him. Like any father, he was worried about letting a man into his daughter's life, and with your history of dating, it was easy to see why. Too many times had you come home in tears due to another boy breaking your heart. But with Felix, you never needed to worry about that. He was gentle and loving, so full of joy that he would outshine the sun. 

“Ah you know you don’t need to call me that” Felix ate it right up, unlike any of your previous boyfriends, he wanted to be with your family, spend time and bond with them. You couldn't have got any luckier. “Y/N your mum's upstairs if you want to go say hi, we got this” You left them to it, a warm safe feeling in your chest as you walked to see your mother. 

The crackling of the fire took over your mind while the white of the snow falling outside the window covered your vision. Both like the static of an old TV, it kept you occupied. Felix was struggling to keep up with the drunk rambling of your father, although his nodding and laughter were enough to keep him entertained. Your mother sat at her large lazy boy chair, legs warmed by the fire as she read her book. You sat next to her, mind floating away, head truly empty. This was a luxury you were rarely afforded, work and school kept your life busy and chaotic. So the peace you were so lucky to have at this time was something you weren't going to take for granted. You were safe with these people, the ones you loved the most. With your mind lost and your heart warm, your vision began to blur as your eyelids fell shut. Sleep quickly bought you under. 

“Y/N? Y/N?” A soft voice slowly awakened you, repeating your name over and over until your eyes peeled open. “Y/N” His cheeks were full of freckles and blush looking down at you from his standing position. With his eyes bright and almost covered by his smile. 

“How long was I asleep for?” You pull yourself up, stretching out your back as he comes to ait on the arm of the chair, curling into your side as if he was a cat. Although his hair was bleached and damaged, it still was soft and tickled your neck.

“Not long, your dad crashed through. Your mum and I just took him up to his room” He laughed against your skin.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that” You pull your head away, not allowing him to hide his face anymore. With a pout, you lean in and give him a kiss.

“It’s ok” He kisses back, breathless at your beauty. “Let's go to bed, there's a storm picking up”

Although your parents' winter home was large enough for everyone to have their own bed, you and Felix preferred the privacy of the cabin at the back of the property. It was a large piece of land that you were grateful your parents had invested in. Allowing you a lot of freedom and adventure through the forest it contained. The cabin you claimed as your own sat just behind the tree line. You could see the front porch of where you would be staying, but the path took you off of the open field. 

It was small, being one open room with a bed, kitchen and a bathroom heading off of the bedroom. But the intimacy it allowed with your parents was special and could not be replicated anywhere else. You were alone with him. Which made the knocking at your door even scarier.

You had been sleeping when it first started, but after your nap, you were only half asleep when the knocking began. At first, you assumed it was your parents but you knew they had a key and that they would let themselves in. So you rolled back over. But when the knocking continued you grew worried. With your sleep disturbed you got up, flicking on the lamp next to you and heading towards the locked door. But the sight outside stopped you. The storm really had picked up. Your parents weren't dumb enough to head out into the storm. Yet you were miles away from any other form of life. Your hand rested over the door handle, contemplating whether to turn it and let whoever was outside, in. The knocking was persistent, beating at the same time as your heart. 

It was more shocking to hear the knocking stop, maybe it was the wind knocking something around. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, relief washing over you. Returning to bed, your hands rub over your face, trying to calm down from the false alarm. Felix turns, still sleeping peacefully in the dimly lit room. The sounds of his soft snores are interrupted by a rattling. With a sharp turn, you look to where you know it's coming from. Instead of asking for permission to come in, whoever, whatever is out there is now insisting. Shaking the door with such vigour you worry the entire door might come loose. 

“Felix?” It's now your turn to wake up, he's quick to sit up, hair flat to his head. Although he's sitting up, he's hardly awake, eyes still stuck shut. You grab his warm hand, holding it close for comfort. “There's someone out there”

“What?” His voice is harsh and doesn't make any connections to his thoughts. 

“Lix!” Slightly raising your voice allows him to slowly realise the real panic you're experiencing. 

“Y/N look” He points towards the window, the wind howls against the glass and hard pieces of snow snap past. “It's a blizzard out there. There's no one anyone will be out there ok, it's just the wind” He tries to comfort you, bringing your hand to his mouth to give it a kiss before lying back down.

He falls asleep with ease, leaving you to fester in your own panic. But when the rattling of the door continues yet no effort is made to break in, you start to calm. Maybe it really is just the wind. Once again, you laugh at your own mad thoughts. Your eyes grow heavy once again, the comfort of the soft pillows around you luring you back into a deep sleep.

Just as your eyes shut, you hear the door creak open. When did the wind get footsteps?

[bowandcurtsey]

Hiii! Can I ask for a oneshot of Asta and Liebe x Bubbly!reader. I don’t really know what the plot should be about so I’m leaving it up to you, but make it very fluffy!!

Ahh more Asta & Liebe, my sons (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ I'll try to make it as fluffy as possible aite!!

Also here's another Asta & Liebe x reader work! It has 2 parts and it's a multiverse! Do enjoy!

TW: unchecked work!

Asta & Liebe x f! Reader

Well since Liebe and Asta were always together, you somehow found yourself dating the both of them.

It was a well deserved day off for the boys after a particularly long mission and Liebe’s favourite thing to do is lay on your lap while you carry on with your work; reading, writing, it doesn’t matter. As long as you were sitting, he’ll have his fluffy white hair nuzzling into your lap.

Asta never really understood what off days meant. He was still exercising, running around the house, doing chores, cleaning and cooking brunch for the 3 of you.

“Asta~” you cooed, “come cuddle with us for a bit! I missed you!”

“Gimme a second, I’ll make a trip down to the grocery store sweetheart!” he gave you his sunshine grin.

Liebe couldn’t care less but when he took a peak from under his sleepy eyelids, he saw that you were pouting and that Asta wasn’t paying attention, the short fuse in him snapped.

“Oi. The princess says cuddle. So drop whatever and come here.” He barked at Asta, “not like I enjoy squeezing with you, what are you busy with anyway!”

“We left on a mission for so long so there’s a lot of errands to run, if we cuddle now, we’ll probably delay a lot longer and then the stores might close, so let me run to the store first and -”

“Geez could you just relax for one day? It’s really not in your blood huh.” Liebe rolled his eyes.

“Well, if you could help a little, everything could he done in half the time?” Asta said matter of factly.

“Eh, what’s more important? It is y/n or whatever little errands you need to run?”

“Okay okay,” you cut the two off, trying to dissipate the spark that would eventually turn into fire, you looked at Asta giving you his puppy eyes, telling you he was wronged by his brother, “let Asta go Liebe..”

“Y/n, sweetheart, you known that you’re more important to me right?” Asta pouted a little, “I’ll cuddle with you when I’m back.”

“Tsk, wonder why y/n loves you..” liebe shrugged.

“Liebe!” You punched his cheeks, “let’s appreciate Asta for doing all the chores for us so we could chill like this~”

You beckoned for Liebe to get up, “let all head to the grocery store together!!”

“No!” “OKAY!”

The brothers said at the same time.

“Why not Liebe, it’s the princess wishes~” it was Asta’s turn to tease his brother now.

Liebe scoffed, “it’s not what she wants, she’s just nice to accompany you.”

You leaned over and pressed a kiss on Liebe’s cheeks, instantly painting his cheeks a subtle pink, “let’s go my little grumpy head~”

You skipped over to Asta whose arms were already open for you to jump into as Liebe groaned in annoyance.

You wanted to give a peck on Asta’s cheeks too, but he turned his head and gave you a kiss on the lips instead, “let’s go get ice cream after the grocery shopping, princess?”

“Yay!” You clapped in agreement.

Asta held you close as he summoned his flying sword and Liebe transformed into his chibi self, parching on Asta’s shoulder.

"I missed you too," Asta had his head nuzzled in your neck from behind, "I'm sorry I was so busy today.."

"Heh. So you do feel guilty," Little Liebe scoffed at him.

You ruffled his messy hair, "thank you for doing everything you do my sunshine!"

-------------

With one hand carrying the groceries and the other hand holding onto yours, your boys stood by you, on either side. You were headed for the ice cream store, you were happily skipping and in your usual bubbly self.

Liebe and Asta looked over and you and smiled, seeing how easily contented you were.

"Shall we share a sundae?!" you stood in front of the vast selection of ice cream at the store, "what flavours shall we pick?"

"f/f ice cream please," Asta knew your favourite flavour, "and what other flavour do you want, y/n?"

"Hmm, you both can decide!" you looked to the both of them.

"Cookie and cream!" Asta beamed.

"No! Vanilla!" Liebe exclaimed.

Before they could get into another squabble, you told the waiter, "we'll pay for an extra scoop, one each please~"

The three of you happily shared the sundae while the boys told you about their long mission, you fed them ice cream while they squabbled over whose turn was it for you to feed. You could never exchange anything in the world for your two boys.

-end-

Ice cream dates are the best aren't they!!!

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

Snowman Stocking Hook of Death - a CSI Christmas murder

(A/N: Aite so I got the prompt for this LAST year, but it took me too long to write, and I missed the posting date of 25-05-2021. So, here it is this year. Here's the said prompt:

Here's another irl item I incorporated into the story and why:

Useful links to resources I used when checking facts for this story -

http://www.forensicsciencesimplified.org/csi/how.html

https://coronertalk.com/28

https://www.crime-scene-investigator.net/evidenc3.html

https://science.howstuffworks.com/csi.htm

Warning:  mentions of parental abuse.  Yes I somehow incorporated it...*sigh*  :')

It wasn't necessary to add Nick in for such a small crime scene, but a friend of mine wanted him in the fic. Besides, I wouldn't have the GSR moment if he hadn't come in.

Just the heads up - this fic is nowhere near as good as what you'd see in canon. I'm sorry; I have no experience writing forensics stories. You are more than welcome to throw eggs at me.)

Grissom poked through the desk drawers of the bedroom he was in, photographing the contents before he disturbed them. He found a WLVU student ID. He took some shots of it then lifted it out of the drawer, carefully walking amidst all the blood drops to Sara, who was processing the outside area of the flat. "Celia Dashner, twenty-three years old. She was a tech student," he read out to her; that last piece of information was not on the ID, but Grissom had spotted a textbook lying on the desk.

Before Sara could respond, David entered the flat, with a,"You'd think people would hold off on murdering each other for the holiday season at least."

"Are you. Gonna say that to Nick when he gets here? Like how you kept repeating 'you'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day' during the Diane Chase case?" Sara returned, turning her face from her camera to look at him, making her husband snort with laughter; ever since they had announced their relationship, Gil allowed himself to be more expressive in public, especially when he was responding to Sara.

"I-" David was taken aback.

Before he could say anything else however, Nick came in, saying, "Man, you'd think people would hold off on murdering each other for the holiday season at least." The Grissoms looked at each other, then at David, who was smirking. At their silence, Nick asked, "...what?"

"We'll tell you later. Body's in the bedroom."  Grissom answered, turning to David as he said the last part.

David was still smiling smugly. "Shut up," Sara quipped. He raised his hands in mock surrender and headed over to the body. The CSIs followed him.

"Apparent cause of death is blunt force trauma to the head, caused by...that."  Grissom swept the beam of his torchlight over to the bloody snowman stocking hook that lay close to the body.  But there was a perculiarity about it.  "Stocking hook...but no stockings anywhere.  Not dropped on the floor, not anywhere in the shelf."

The other object of interest that lay on the floor was a small bell with a Santa figurine on it.  It had fallen a little distance away, just at the bottom of the shelf.  On the top, there was a space where the two objects would fit snugly if they were placed there.

Nodding towards the murder weapon, Nick piped up, "My mom bought one of those for the house last Christmas. It's pretty heavy. I'd say two, three strikes would do the job? Maybe four?" Nick piped up.

Gil bobbed his head a few times, then speculated, "Are we sure that the cause of death is this straightforward?"

"Well. My teacher would say that science will tell us if how things look is how they really are." She smiled at her husband, and he smiled right back at her.

Of course, Grissom was professional as always and brought their attention back to the body.  "Look at how she's lying.  Her knees are bent.  She must've been falling while she was being hit, rather than being on the floor with the killer over her."  He shone his torch on the bell.  "And what about that?"

"It probably dropped off when the killer grabbed the hook and brushed it past the bell," Sara said.  Grissom and Nick nodded.

"Lividity is fixed, rigor is starting in the face, and liver temp is eighty-nine point six degrees Fahrenheit.  She's been dead around six hours. There's nothing in her pockets. We'll know more after the autopsy," David said.

"So she's been lying here since one am...who called it in?"  Grissom voiced.

"Brass was talking to the neighbor, Lindsey Henderson. Apparently, they were supposed to go for a jog like they do every morning. When Celia didn't answer the door, she called the landlord. They opened the door and found her like this," Sara answered, gesturing to the person lying on the floor.

Grissom nodded in acknowledgment. "David, we'll let you know when you can take her away."

"Okay." He went to wait outside.

Brass popped in.  "Vic's name was Celia Dashner. She was a twenty-three-year-old tech student at WLVU. She was supposed to be alone last night, so that narrows the field.  I couldn't find anything else out.  I'm gonna go over to the school and do some asking around."

"Okay.  Nick, you're with him," Gil said.

Nick nodded, "Okay," and went with the detective.

As for Gil and Sara, they kept looking to see what they could find.  Once all the blood spatter was accounted for and documented, David was given the go-ahead to take the body away.  The CSIs found information regarding Dashner's classes, schedules, and so on.  Sara texted Nick to drop the details, along with all the photos he might need.  A continued search yielded a phone and a laptop.  After collecting prints and DNA, they were bagged to be carted off to Archie.  They also collected various hair samples that did not match the victim. 

"There's not much left here to do with the actual event...killer knew their business," Sara said.

"Yeah.  And the weapon used was one of opportunity.  I think the killer wanted to talk to the vic, then they got into an argument, and things escalated from there."  Sara nodded at her husband's plausible theory.  They headed back to the lab, giving the evidence to Archie, Mandy and Wendy respectively.

Meanwhile at the school, Nick and Jim were talking to the headmaster, Mrs.  Millers.  "That's terrible!  I can't imagine who would do such a thing!"  the lady cried, a look of horror and shallow grief on her face, the kind of grief experience when a loss that was not particularly close to you but that one still cared about in a general sense occured.

"We're gonna need to take a look at Celia's records, as well as speak to everyone in her classes," Brass said.

Millers had to nod a few times.  "Yeah, of course, anything to help the investigation."

"We appreciate your cooperation," Nick said.

So the principal brought them to the records room and handed the file to them.  Then, she brought them to Dashner's class, stopping at the door.  She raised a hand to knock, but then hesitatd.  She turned to them and pleaded, "Wait here."  Finally, she knocked the door.  The teacher stopped with his hands in mid-air with how he was gesticulating, his head turned towards the door.  The more attentive of his students were looking at the door too.  Millers enteref walked up to the teacher at the front of the classroom, and the lecturer turned his body where his head was facing.  "Mister Jameson," Millers called.

"Yes, ma'am?"  the teacher inquired, looking over her at the men outside bearing law enforcement credentials.  Even though he was much younger than his boss, he had a lot of white hair due to lack of regular sleep.  And, like most chronic screen starers, he wore a pair of glasses, rectangular and black-rimmed.

Mrs.  Millers looked at the students, then back at him; he could see that she was upset about something.  "May I talk to you outside?"

Jameson looked at his students and instructed, "Finish up the line of code," then followed his superior out into the vestibule.

"Connor, these are CSI Nick Stokes and detective James Brass.  They're with the Las Vegas crime lab."

"Mister Jameson..."  Nick softened his eyes, his eyebrows frowning slightly as he prepared himself for what he had to say, his head tilting to one side a little as he made a small swallow.  "Celia...your student...was found murdered in her apartment this morning."

Jameson's jaw dropped open slightly.  He seemed to want to say something, but was struggling to do so.  Brass said, "We're gonna need to talk to everyone in this class, including you.  We're also need to take your prints and DNA."

"Prints?  DNA?  A-are we suspects?"  His eyes darted about from one man to another.

"It'll help us to rule you out," Nick told him gently.

Jameson inhaled, then exhaled, his shoulders heaving.  "How'm I gonna tell my students?"

"I can handle it,"  Mrs.  Millers said kindly, putting a hand on Connor's shoulder.

He exhaled shakily through his mouth and nodded a few times.  "Y-yeah...thank you..."  Millers smiled a small smile at him, then went inside, Nick and Jim following her, with Jameson tailing timidly behind.

"All right everyone, I have something really important to tell you.  She looked at Nick and Brass, then back at the students.  "Celia...the reason she isn't here today, is that she was found dead in her apartment."  Instant murmuring and exchanging of glances ensued.  "CSI Stokes and detective Brass are here to investigate the matter.  They're gonna wanna speak to each and every one of you, as well as take your fingerprints, and your DNA."  That, especially the last part, increased the uproar.  Skillfully, the headmaster put her hands out peaceably and made her voice rise over the noise without having to yell, saying, "It's so that they can eliminate you as suspects."  Of course, the students were still uncomfortable about the matter, but they knew not to go against what the principal said, and so they quietened down.  Mrs.  Millers looked to Jim and Nick, indicating that they could go ahead.

"Thank you," Nick said.  Millers nodded.

"All right everyone, I'm gonna need you to form a line in front of mister Stokes.  Once he's done with you, you come to me to give me your statements.  You too mister Jameson," Jim called out, gesturing to Nick then in front of himself.  "All right let's go."  He clapped his hands.  Everyone did as they were told, with Jameson being first in line.

Nick collected what he needed, then dismissed him with a, "Thank you very much sir, please proceed to my friend over there."  He spoke like this, gentle, sweetly and politely, to everyone.

Connor took small, trudging steps to Jim.  "So, tell me about your student."

"She was good in her class," Connor said, keeping his head down, one hand clasping the wrist on his other hand.  "Quiet, not that many friends, but close with the ones she had."  He glanced over the a cluster of students at the back of the line; they seemed deeply bereaved, so they had joined the queue with much hesitation, while the rest of their classmates were more somber with the realisation that someone they knew had been taken too soon.  "Those were her best friends.  They all stuck together.  If you wanna find out anything that could really help you, you should ask them."

"Is there anyone absent today besides Celia?"  Jim asked.  Jameson shook his head.  "Okay, thanks very much.  That will be all.  But stay in town; I might wanna ask you more questions later."  Jameson nodded and took his leave.  Everyone else got the same dismissal reminder to remain in Vegas during the course of the investigation.  When everyone had given their prints amd DNA to Nick, he took half of what was left of Brass' queue.

Eventually, it was just Celia's friends left, so Nick and Jim questioned them all together.  "She never hurt anybody.  I can't imagine who would do this," Jamie sniffled, eyes red and her head down, her hands cluthing her jacket on her arms to herself.

Brian was standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder.  "Is there anything we can do?"  he asked, keeping himself together better than anyone else in the group.

"Just cooperate with our investigation and help us do our best to find Celia's killer," Nick said genially.  He took out his phone.  "Now what my team and I are really curious about is this," he said, showing them the picture of the bell.

That caused Jamie to crack a small smile.  "Celia's had it for a long time.  She bought it as soon as she moved out of her parents' house; it gave her company.  And when she got lonely, she'd ring it.  She never needed to use it when we went to visit."  Then, her own words affected her.  "And now..." A fresh cry started up.  "We'll never do that again..."  Davy, another friend, rubbed her shoulder and back while Brian still had his hold on her.

They were all feeling that emptiness, that void that had been left behind by the person who was once in their lives, who was now forcibly removed from them permanently.  And, they knew and felt, too, the meaning of the further loss, that they would never be with each other again; no new memories would be created, which was what triggered Jamie's crying.  They could only hold on to what they already had.

"What about the stocking hook she had?  The snowman one?  We didn't find any stockings at the scene."  Nick did not want to show them the picture of the object with their friend's blood on it.

"Yeah, it's the same.  I mean, same reason as-...as-as why she bought the bell," Brian said.

"Is there no one at all who'd have a motive?  Anybody she had a fight with...?"  Jim voiced.

Davy shook their head.  "No.  Celia kept to herself.  It was either that or sticking to one or all of us."

"What about her family?"  That was Jim again.

"When Jamie said she 'left her parents' house', she really meant Celia'd left; she broke away from them and hasn't seen any of her family in a long time," Brian answered.

"How did she fund her tuition?"  Jim asked.

"Full scholarship.  She was brilliant. She also had a gig being the assisstant manager at the cafe across her house," Brian said.

"Could any of her family have found her?"  Nick left his question as it was, for everyone knew what he was implying.

Jamie shook her head, but still stared at the floor, the jacket being hugged loosely in her arms now.  "They haven't heard from each other in years.  There's no way they could've found her.  Besides, Celia would have been much better at tracking and avoiding being tracked through devices anyway."

Jim and raised an eyebrow and looked at Nick.  "Well..."  he looked back at Jamie, "tracking was possible before contemporary technology."

"No, Celia didn't leave any paper trail.  She was careful not to," Davy said.

"How do you know?"  Jim challenged.

"She told us everything, even the worst stuff of what her parents did to her," Davy returned.

Jim nodded, "Okay.  Um, what other classes did Celia have?  And did she have any extracurricular activities?" 

"No.  Celia wanted to focus on this class only," Davy said.

"Did she have any other friends besides you?"

"She didn't mix with anyone outside of class," Brian answered.

Jim bobbed his head a few times, glancing over his notes.  Then he asked one more time, "Is there anything else you can tell us that might help?  Any odd changes in behaviour recently, even anything that might seem like just a quirk..."

They all thought.  "Well... sometimes, when we were with her, it seemed like she was keeping something to herself.  We figured she'd tell us when she was ready, but now..."  His eyes were downcast.

"Hey.  Listen to me," Nick said; Brian met his eyes.  "Her death is not your fault.  You were being nothing but a good friend by not pushing her.  She'd want you to remember that."  Brian smiled a tight smile from one side of his mouth.

That was all the information Nick and Jim could gather.  So they left the school to return to the lab.  Nick went to drop off the samples with Mandy and Wendy while Jim went to update Grissom and Sara.

Nick went to Mandy first.  When she saw how many samples she had to run, her jaw dropped.  Nick grinned playfully and quirked his eyebrows as he held up the ten-cards.  "Well...at least we have a good chance of a match," Mandy said.

"Yeah," Nick agreed as he put the evidence on the counter.

"Before I start running all these, I'd like you to do something for me," Mandy grinned.

"Oh yeah what's that?" Nick grinned too, mocking her.

"Sing for me."

Nick gave a scoffing laugh.  "You can only have me sing for you if you've found something big."

Mandy became docile but serious.  "Yeah well, it's been a while since I've heard you singing voice, and," she shrugged, "I miss it."

Nick smiled.  "Okay."  He sang, "Oh Mandy, well you came and you gave without taking.  But I sent you away."  Mandy signalled for him to stop.  "Oh Mandy."

Mandy was beaming.  "Thank you."

"Glad I could be of entertainment," he smirked back.  He headed to the DNA lab next.

As for Wendy, she reeled back for a few moments, her breath catching in her throat before it was released in a huff through her nose.  "Wow," was all she could say.

"Yeah...if the killer isn't in here, you can kill me," Nick said as he placed the swabs laying in neat rows.

"You know, I heard you singing for Mandy.  Maybe I should have you do that for me."

Nick laughed nervously, taking a step back and turning his head and body away.  "Oh, oh no," he chuckled, shaking his head as he turned back to Wendy.  "What, you got a song that uses the name 'Wendy'?"

" 'Wendy' and 'Mandy' sound very similar.  You could just swap the names."  Nick begun to step away quickly.  "You're lucky I love you," Wendy teased.

"Yeah, I love you too," Nick smiled over his shoulder before walking away.

Jim found the Grissoms sitting on the guest's side of Gil's desk.  They had brought their chairs and bodies close together, so that their arms and legs were touching.  Even their heads were so close that they could kiss if they just turned them.  They were talking in hushed voices.  Sara passed Gilbert a mug of chocolate; they were evidently sharing it.  He felt sorry for interrupting their quiet moment, which was why he let Gil take his sip before knocking on the door politely.  In perfect synchronisation, they turned their heads and waists and looked at him, having turned facing each other.  Upon perceiving him, they faced the desk.  Gil set the mug down and they stood up, moving past the chairs to be closer to Jim.  "What've you got?"  Sara asked.

"Oh, you know, plenty," Jim played nonchalance, opening his notebook.  "You know, considering there's a whole classroom's worth of statements."

Gil and Sara were smiling.  Sweet as ever, Gil said, "All right, let's hear it," his soft voice gravelly and gentle.  And thus Jim gave them a full report of everything he knew.  When he was finished, Jim said, "I'm gonna go to the cafe and see what I can find.  Toodles."  Gil and Sara waved.  Unfortunately, Jim would find that there was nothing that could help them; no one knew the victim personally enough to want to kill her.

After that, Gil, Sara and Nick went to pay Al a visit.  Even though Nick was the lead investigator for the case, nobody else had anything to do until the print and DNA results were ready, and as of yet Archie had not found anything.

"COD's pretty straightforward; blunt force trauma to the head, penetrating the frontal and parietal bones through to the brain.  Wounding is consistent with the weapon you found at the scene.  The victim was struck thrice.  The first and second hits didn't break her skull; the third and final blow did.  I found no other wounds on her body, not even scabs or light bruising from sporting activities."

"Well her mates did say she was a chronic homebody," Nick said.

"Oh, sounds familiar," Sara piped up, looking at Gil, who turned to her with a raised eyebrow.  Nick and Al were grinning at them.

After the autopsy report, they went to do some more waiting, until Wendy texted Nick.  "All the blood at the scene was a match to the vic's.  Most of the hairs you found were from Davy, Brian and Jamie, but one of them was a match to the teacher, Connor Jameson," Wendy reported, handing the results sheet to Grissom, who took it and put on his glasses.

Since she was just in the next lab over, Mandy walked in to them.  "Hey.  I couldn't find any prints on the murder weapon.  Those bloody smudges you gave me weren't enough for a print; the material of the hook is horrible for prints.  I wish I had more exciting news."  She handed her report over to Sara.

"It's okay.  We'll find more," Nick said, charitable as always.

Just then, Grissom's phones chimed.  He took it out and read the text.  "It's Archie.  He says he's found something."  And just like that, he turned around and walked out of the lab.

"Thanks, guys," Nick said, starting to leave too.

"Thanks, guys," Sara repeated.

"You're welcome," they said at the same time.

They found Archie putting eyedrops in his eyes, sighing tiredly.  "What've you got for us, Arch?"  Nick asked.  Sara walked up to Archie and put a hand on the back of his shoulder comfortingly.

Archie closed the bottle and put it down before starting.  "It took me a really long while to find this; it was in a very secure folder," he said as he clicked on a few things and brought the displays up.

The CSIs went to look at them on the big screen.  "What're we looking at?"

"This is all documented proof that one Connor Jameson has been stealing large amounts of money in small increments via online transfer.  He's been stealing from multiple bank accounts; Celia's is one of them.  She's been investigating it for months."

Grisson raised an eyebrow at the name of the thief.  "Connor Jameson?  That's the vic's tech teacher," Nick piped up.

"This gives us motive," Gil pointed out.

"Jameson must've found out his student was looking into him, tried to get her to stop, and when she refused, he got desperate," Sara reasoned.

The Grissoms look at Nick to see if he agreed.  "I'll call Brass."

"You go on ahead.  Gil and I'll hang back here," Sara said as she and her husband joined hands, Gil looking away shyly.

Nick nodded.  "Okay."  And off he went.

Gil and Sara looked at each other.  Still holding hands, Gil led his wife to his office.  Then, when they were some way inside, Gil turned to face Sara and walked her backwards until she was against a wall, gently pinning his body on hers and pressing his lips to hers, his eyes closed.  Her eyes were closed too as she chuckled.  Yep, they were gonna bang when they went home.

[blazichu]

#catch me rattling on about GG pt 2 for paragraphs

Please continue when you can. I love your reading your analysis!

Apparently I'm incapable of looking over one half of Good Genes without doing the other, so I guess we get a double feature tonight:

Part 1:

I am, of course, contractually obligated to point out my favorite line from the cold open: "My friend Donatello is one of the gentlest souls I've met, with one of the finest minds I've ever known." It seems especially relevant since, later on, Stockman reduces Don to "The smart one"

One thing I noticed this run through is that Leo's speech is slightly different than usual this arc. My favorite is his response to "It's only a matter of time before [Don] is lost forever"; his tone changes dramatically between the two halves of his line, "That's not gonna happen" and "We can't let that happen." The first is his usual 'decisive leader' voice, but the second has this kind of worried warble to it. It's great, and Sinterniklaas gets an A+

Of course there's the breakfast sequence. I don't really have much that hasn't already been said about it, but there's something sweet and sad about how Mike says that he "Just wanted to give him some food". It's just so little, a basic need that he's trying to fill because he cares, and it goes so wrong so fast.

My fourth point is kiiiinda weird and a stretch, but I've always loved the way Outbreak (as an arc) sets up so many bits and pieces that pay off specifically in AiTS/GG. It's usually stuff Don's been working on-- like the trapper gear, the tunnel to April's, or Stockman's helicopter. It's just neat, kind of setting up how indispensable Don's presence really is if he's able to help without being mentally present.

Anyway, right back to Leo and line delivery. The other part of this is that he keeps hesitating and grasping for the right words when it comes to what happened to Don. He refuses to put a name to it when he tells everyone that the helicopter was the last thing Don was working on, "[...] before... Before."

There's also "Don got infected. He's been transformed into... into a monster."

This is something I've definitely written about before, but idk if I ever posted it. Don's behavior after arriving at Area 51 is remarkably intelligent. He's able to use the guards' taser sticks against one another to get free, take out Leatherhead while he has the element of surprise (notable in that Leatherhead was the biggest threat/the one to subdue him in AiTS), turns on Stockman (who was responsible for the transfer in the first place), uses the glass from the containment unit as a shield, and actively prevents Splinter from doing whatever mind thing he did earlier. It's a far cry from lashing out and snapping wildly, and I've always thought it was interesting.

And the tranquilizer scene. Honestly, I find it kind of hard to watch, but I do like the way Leo kneels down next to Don after he's knocked out.

Part 2

I'm gonna talk about cold opens again, because I just realized that this episode essentially begins and ends with the same message: "It's an impossible mission, but what can we do? Our brother is sick, and there's nothing we won't do to save him."

So. The really cool thing about Good Genes Part 2 is how much it directly highlights the lack of Don's presence without actually saying as much. Raph splits off to handle the technology (albeit in an explosive manner) and is seen hauling the duffelbag around. Leo has the headset and is coordinating with April throughout the mission. Which leads me to...

One of the major set pieces in this episode is a callback: the obstacle hallway, Mystic chamber and elevator from Return to New York. I don't think it was an intentional connection, but part of their plan involves repurposing a mech suit to use against the Foot, which is exactly what Don did with Stockman's robotic body in Return. This bulletpoint is 100% me finding meaning where there probably wasn't any, but still.

This one's slightly off topic, but I've said before that I thought it was a dumb decision to have Leo confirm to Karai that the rest of his family was alive and well at the end of Prodigal Son-- this episode is 99% of why I think it was a missed opportunity. Iirc, Karai doesn't appear between then and now, so this would be the first indication she'd have that anyone survived her assault-- and all the boys are here except Don. I just think there's a lot of potential there.

At one point, as Karai calls the Elite into the fray, Leo tells Mikey to take the Heart of Tengu and run-- that he'd hold them off. 'Them' being the Elite; he's about to face the Elite by himself to ensure that this works out. Just try to tell me that's not a statement and a half.

Idk why, but "Get in get out, right? It's not about Karai, right?" always stuck with me.

It's interesting how the episode also calls back to the old intro sequence, where April's piloting a helicopter and Don's jumping onto the rope ladder hanging down from it. Not much to say here, but it's neat.

I'm really bad at making out overlapping voices (and can't make sense of Mikey's line here at all), but after Leatherhead catches Don, you can hear Raph ask him how he's feeling, and Leo say "It's so good to see you again"

I mentioned Raph helping Don to the helicopter in the tags of that last post, but I'm also going to point out that Leo, who is supposed to be flying the helicopter at the end of the episode, is emphatically not watching where he's going.

And, of course, the big one: "I hope you guys didn't go through too much trouble for me."/"Nah!"

In addition to the first point for this episode-- the implication that NO trouble would have been too much-- there's the fact that, when nobody answers for a bit, you can see Don's expression fall. It's that fact that makes me love Mikey's reaction so much-- the way he grins back and tries to sooth that worry down.

Idk how much of this was really analysis, Anon, but I did promise to rattle on for paragraphs, and had a good time doing it. I hope you get some entertainment out of this ;)

[tuliptic]

SLUMP: How Do I Get Out Of Here

Too many times we’ve fallen into slumps and have had trouble picking ourselves up again. This reading serves to be a guidance on how we can be kind to ourselves, how we can get ourselves out from this pit of darkness and walk towards where we belong.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: Where are you, how are you gonna get out of here? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1 - Trickle

A card to symbolise you: The Hermit, The Moon

Aite it ended up with two cards. The first thing I’m picking up here is that there is a need for you to step into the unknown instead of wandering around the entrance. Sure, seeing the dark ahead is scary, but you’re the Hermit, you have your torch with you, and the Moon is shining above you, lighting the path as you take your steps. It’s difficult if you wander around without directions, but you have light guiding your way. You know your goals and how you wanna achieve, all that’s left is to tread carefully to reach the exit. The Moon here is giving me spiritual vibes, so you may turn to that for an extra hand, and an extra opinion so that you can see things from another point of view, and to learn something new.

1. How did you get here? Knight of Pentacles

You've taken up a lot of responsibilities, thinking that it's all your obligation. It's not. All these burdens have piled up on your back, crushing you as time passes. As this went on, people around you have… Well… Taken advantage of you. It’s a little bit difficult to say cuz you tend to be the person who focuses on the main picture and the collective benefit, so you allow yourself to take up more responsibilities.  This can also be an excuse to run away from interpersonal problems, especially between family members. Or, there may be a possibility of you not having a decent relationship with your family members, that you have to focus on work and find your worth through your career.

2. How do you get out of here? The High Priestess rx

You’re more of a practical kinda person, focusing on what you can see and what you can comprehend, instead of the spiritual aspect of the world. With this, there may be a loss of connection with your intuition and/or inner voice. You will need to tune into your intuition, pay attention to the voices in you instead of the voices outside (remember to not get it mixed up with anxiety). When you’re feeling low or challenged, remember that you are loved, and you are worthy of love. There’s a saying I’ve read somewhere, “Those who are loved have the strength to conquer difficulties”. Know your worth and accept it. You have come this far, and you will continue to go further.

3. What can you learn from this? Ten of Pentacles

One of your core values is family. You may have been brought up with the concept that family is important and how it has shaped you to who you are today. However, you are called to check if this value aligns with you, aligns with your emotional and mental needs. With the wrong people, it’s no longer an alliance but a discord. You learn the needs of having proper and healthy connection, and how to unlearn old values and beliefs that no longer help you, picking up new values and beliefs along the way. Focus your energy and effort on That One Thing that you want to achieve (purpose), and water that plant (intent). Once you’ve put in the right gear, the rest will fall in place, and you’ll see the results in plain sight.

4. What should you do if this happens again? Three of Cups

Your friends are your greatest support system, but I’m also gonna remind you to also be the friend they need. Although the theory of love languages is a scam, to understand what the other person needs in a friendship (or any forms of relationship) is necessary, else you’re just imposing your ideals onto them. To me, it feels like growing together, relearning new things (or old things) about yourself, understanding yourself better and how to treat yourself better. Hang out with your inner child, do whatever it is that your inner child has wanted to do the entire while. For example, you’ve wanted to colour your hair ever since you're in secondary school, do it; if you’ve wanted to get a new piercing, do it. Go ahead and do whatever it is that you’ve wanted to do (as long as it’s not against the law or rules of whatever institutes that you’re in).

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ace of Cups rx

Hmmm… Your emotions are… Rather turbulent, I’d say. There’s an unhealthy stream of emotions that you’re holding back, and the dam is about to break. A lot of healing needs to be done, where you need to focus on yourself, to express selflessness and fairness over yourself first. Not to sound discouraging, but you may never heal from certain trauma, where you can only learn to walk away from whatever that is and live with it. Even though you’re surrounded by obstacles right now, remember that with time and the right amount of attention and effort, you can work through almost any deadlock. By then, you’ll be stronger and more capable to work towards your dreams, desires and goals.

6. Advice for you: The World rx, The Empress

Your journey is far from over, and to some of you, you may not even know where you’re headed, not knowing where your goal is. It can sound discouraging, but I think the beauty in it is that you get to look around and learn, absorb as much knowledge as you want, level up yourself as you go. It’s like… Your goal is to learn and experience, to grow as a being, and let that be part of your soul journey.  Be kind to yourself. I feel that many who picked this pile have trouble treating themselves well, financially and emotionally. Some may also be people pleaser because that was what they’ve been taught when they’re kids, and this is a sign that it’s high time for you to cut away from those habits. It may be difficult to cut it off, but at least, recognize and acknowledge this part of you. If you choose to believe that you’re not one, then you won’t work on it. Let your journey on this earth be a fun and comfortable one, where you put your needs first, focusing on yourself. You are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Learn to appreciate yourself more, learn to live for yourself.

Overall energy: The Devil, Two of Cups rx, The High Priestess

I’m immediately picking up energies of self-sabotaging. I don’t think I need to further elaborate on this, those who know it will know it. I feel that this pile may listen to their logic more to the point that they ignore everything else, may it be your intuition or your feelings, making you misaligned with yourself. Calm yourself down, stay quiet, focus on one point, and sit there with your head blank (if you need some background noise to help you, do so). Once your head stops screaming, ask yourself about the emotions that you’ve been feeling. Listen to your heart, listen to what it’s trying to tell you. Align yourself to the path you’ve wanted to take. Cultivate yourself, create and enjoy. Invite limitless magic into your life through whatever that goes through your hand. Welcome yourself onto this Earth.

.

.

Pile 2 - Breeze

A card to symbolise you: Death

Changes come and go as the breeze, lightly and without you noticing. It also feels that the changes you bring and the changes you experienced can be similar, where it’s… Nonchalant. There’s not much emotional attachment with whatever you’re holding to, and when it changes, you accept the changes because they don’t affect you much. The transforming energy this card holds is not something sudden, but something that gradually happens over time. It’s like the straws stacking up on the camel’s back. One day, one last straw will break the camel’s back, and that’s when you have to make necessary changes to make sure you survive.  This is you right now, and unlike other piles, you are aware of this. It’s still gonna take quite a bit for you to take any action because you don’t think you’re at that point of breaking yet.

1. How did you get here? Knight of Swords rx 

You probably have not been paying attention to whatever that’s going on with your life. It feels like… You go along with the flow too much, not paying attention to where the final destination is going to be, focusing very much on the present. With that, people can come in and influence you to work to what they want. I wouldn’t say that they’re bad guys, but imagine parents that can be controlling, wanting you to do things according to their way/method cuz they believe it’s the best for you. Some may actually guilt trip you, or use you to their own convenience, depending on what’s going on and if your family is so.  As that goes on, you’ve given up taking control over your own life, only focusing on surviving the days. It’s high time for you to realise where you are standing right now, and hence, you’re experiencing this burn out. You will need to clear your mind and heart of negativity, as well as negative influence to at least rekindle the passion you have towards life.

2. How do you get out of here? Eight of Wands

Rise and leave. This card talks about action, and it’s gonna be very fast. Give them no time to think or to react. Make sure your wings are strong enough to carry you far, make sure whatever chains of negative influences end with you. Take this as a sign to put your hesitation aside and go for it! You may feel as though you’re being trapped in a whirlwind with how everything is happening around you, but place your trust in yourself as well as your higher self. Things will be fine, and you’ll be able to see how your plans worked out. However, remember to step forward with plans and proposals.  If you do not feel prepared enough to take any action, it’s okay. Rest, grow stronger and prepare yourself, so that when the chance comes, you’ll be able to take off without any hesitation. You’ll be surprised with how far your dreams have guided you.

3. What can you learn from this? Six of Cups

First thing I’m picking up from here is networking/connections. During this period of time, you probably have made new friends along the way. However, if you look back, you'll notice the similarities between the new friends you've made and your friends from childhood. This is because you tend to fall back into things that provide you comfort and familiarity. Similarly, you fall back to friends and/or family that have stayed with you throughout these while, eventho they have not been kind to you, because of that familiarity. You are called to do some introspection, to discern and decide how you want your life to be, what you are going to do to get that life you wanted.

4. What should you do if this happens again? Six of Wands rx

Should this happen again, stay low and remember where you came from, remember that place of pain where you've finally left, and remind yourself to stay on your toes. Do not think highly of yourself, of how strong you've become and finally you can stand against it. Don't let your ego feed into you. You are very well capable of falling into old patterns again if you have not gone for any therapy. Seek help from some other authorities that you trust, else, you search for people you trust to help you out from this. Remember, there's only so much you can do, and the most important one among all is to protect yourself.  You will heal, but you’ll need to take time, allow yourself some rest time for you to regain your energy. You’ll know when you’re healing, or fully healed. Healing is never linear, so don’t rush yourself.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ten of Pentacles

There’s a lot that you have, abundance in finance and human connection. Ten of Pentacles is usually a family card, but I’m also seeing it as a found family, where you select who you want to be in your life. With Pentacles, I’m seeing that this connection may be from work, or those who have helped you in your career. That aside, there’s finances here so… You may be the type who’d save up for rainy days, or you’ll make sure you have enough before you leave whatever situation you’re in.  To be able to achieve this, your main qualities would be determination and mental strength. There’s more to go but you have the foundation for this, and from what I’m seeing, you’re already on your way. You may want to try meditation or spiritual related themes, as well as doing a bunch of research on your friends and family. There may be a reason why people around you are acting Like That™, and you may also want to look into yourself if you play any factor. 

6. Advice for you: Six of Pentacles, Ten of Wands rx, The Sun rx

Be generous to others, but turn that generosity towards yourself first. Spend money and pamper yourself when you need them. Remember, what goes around comes around, you provide help, and help will be provided to you.  Put down those burdens people have been putting on your back. You have a tendency to carry the burdens and expectations of others, when all you need to focus right now is yourself. This is something that will… Challenge your core belief, I'd say. You need to focus on yourself, remember that you are the main character of your own story. At most, you can be the side character of another's story, but never their stepping stone. Once you learn your worth, accept it, and work on it, things will turn out different for you. Half of the cards here are sixes. This usually symbolises themes of success, satisfaction and rewards. Do what you need, and the rest will fall in place.

Overall energy: Temperance, Eight of Pentacles, The Hermit

I'm feeling some sort of balance from you. Things can be a mess, or even chaotic. But you actually know where to go and how to go about it, and you're sharpening your tools (skills) at the moment. What I'm feeling from this is that you're preserving your energy, ready to strike when it's needed, bringing a new form of rebirth. You have been receiving messages from your guides, you know they are having your back. Sure, new life can be birthed from old wounds, but you have no need to burn yourself to warm others, to find your worth in this painful form.

.

.

Pile 3 - Woods

A card to symbolise you: The Emperor rx

For some reason, it feels like you're the dejected king. You've done your best to do a lot of good, fight for what you believe in, and yet get shunned/ostracised by your own people. You still believe in what you stand and fight for, but part of you actually doubts if you're doing the right thing, or if there's something wrong with you. There are some questioning and contemplation, making your heart waver, wondering if you should leave this kingdom you're ruling over and go to some other place. The conflict is pretty… Strong in you at the moment, and it feels like you want to put the sceptre down.

1. How did you get here? Page of Swords rx

It's giving me the feeling/vibe that you've been listening to the wrong people, and there's active manipulation and deception in play. Whatever information that you've received/heard have been altered, and even tampered to a certain extent, trapping you in that perception. From there, it will be difficult for you to deconstruct incorrect information and to absorb new things in. What I'm also picking up is that you may have a tendency to go ahead and lead something, even if you're not familiar with the subject, which may be why you ended up being The Emperor rx. An example: Your cousin has told you that you have skills and talents in becoming a HR team leader, and so you applied for the job even if you have zero HR related skills and experience. With that, you're now leading your team and this is where you see problems come in, because you do not have sufficient tools and skills and experience. You can't quit this job because you've signed a contract, and if you quit, your team members will suffer as they will need to redo everything. Your ideals are nice, but you did not consider the limitations and challenges, ending up extremely unrealistic. With that, of course your team members will complain because you also have not taken their situation into consideration.

2. How do you get out of here? Death

There's a lot of changes that need to be made. Heck, you may need to go through a period of “death”, where you deconstruct your knowledge, what you have, what you pride yourself over; and form something new. It's like… A butterfly. Many people know that the caterpillar wraps itself in silk, and comes out of it as a butterfly. But not many know that the caterpillar literally dissolved into goo inside the cocoon. That sort of “death” is what you will need to go through. From there, you build yourself up with knowledge you've filtered, sourcing out resources carefully, being critical of what information you've gotten (or even whatever others are trying to feed you). Of course, throughout this time, you'll need to rebuild your trust in people, allowing yourself to heal from all sorts of betrayal.

3. What can you learn from this? Five of Wands

Sometimes, conflict isn't necessarily bad. You will need it (sometimes, fights and quarrels as well) to get your thoughts and opinions across, and also to understand the other person better as well. It is through conflict that you'll be able to see things that you've been missing out, especially if those “benefits” are things that are absolutely necessary to the other person. Your sense of justice is not applicable to those who are underprivileged, because they will be the first person who'll suffer from the changes.  This conflict can also refer to the wolves inside of you, where you'll need to fight yourself, is your justice really justice if it harms the victims even more. There's more to find out by yourself, and this is a period of transition, where you'll move away from who/what no longer helps you, to things that will be of help and growth in the long run.

4. What should you do if this happens again? The World rx

Remind yourself that it's okay to fail, to be imperfect, and release whatever that is tying you down. Be kind to yourself and let go of self-criticism. This is something bound to happen, since growth is not linear. The world won't end if you make a mistake. But you need to make sure you're learning something from whatever you're doing. Awareness is something important, and you need to be conscious of your action, as well as what it will bring about. Make your actions purposeful, put meaning behind whatever you do or say. You're growing, and you're not doing it alone. You're growing with your friends, you're growing with the world. Do not try controlling the actions of others. You are your own world, and you should be nurturing it with intent.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ace of Swords rx

You're smart. You're either book smart or street smart, or some other forms of smart that I do not know of. Which is why you actually know what it is that you have to help you go through this: By turning that Sword towards yourself. You don't like being told that you're wrong, and it's that pride of yours that will continue to push you forward. And most of all, you will not let yourself make the same mistakes again, allowing you to be sharper than before. Also, you may come up with a guide, describing how you've failed, and how you're making sure that others don't go through the same problems as you. You may end up a little pushy and long-winded, so please be aware of this.

6. Advice for you. King of Cups rx, Wheel of Fortune rx

There are a couple of things that I'm picking up here. One of them is a warning, that you should not attempt any emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or any of that sorts, consciously or unconsciously. You may be good with your words, and may have accidentally used them to “convince” someone to see your way, without you attempting to look at their side of the situation. Remember that whatever goes around, comes around. Morality is important, but morality without kindness is just… Inhumane. You also will need to remember to find your new strength, and how you want to proceed with your journey, may it be retiring being a King, or rebuilding your empire with the right people and right values. The cards aren't really willing to fall out, so I guess these are the main themes for you to pay attention to.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Pentacles, The Star

There are quite some… Misdirected strength here. You are vigorous and ambitious, you have a lot of things that you want to do and to accomplish, but your actions aren't purposeful enough. You probably may feel like you're not seeing much results, and may be slightly dejected. Authorities may have a role in this. However, look at the bright side, you are doing something! Your generosity has helped many people throughout the way, providing faith and hope to those who are troubled. You may be spiritually guided too, so let your guides do their job and steer you towards the direction you're supposed to go.

.

.

Pile 4 - Crackle

A card to symbolise you: The Chariot rx

You’re rushing through a lot of things right now, worried that you can’t catch up with your peers. I’m seeing an image of you riding a horse, pushing yourself forward ruthlessly, ignoring your horse and everything else as you’re only focusing on your goals. Not sure if it’s your horse that will collapse or you falling over first. It is a very… anxious and bouncy energy that I’m feeling here. It’s also warning both you and I that things are going to be a havoc if you’re continuing this, as there’s this lack of balance, where you’re focusing too much on the external items (glory, society-defined success, external approval) instead of whatever that’s going on inside you (self-affirmation, emotional comfort, core belief).

1. How did you get here? The Hanged Man

I’m seeing that you’ve been forcing yourself to do things that you’re not good at. You probably have been called “inflexible” or “stuck in your own way” kinda person, and you’ve forced yourself to change, to see and attempt what other people do. However, it doesn’t work for you. You noticed that you’re not suitable for it, may be due to your upbringing or your brain has already been wired so. Yet you still push ahead with that thought and attempt, wanting to fit in with the rest (and society) so that you do not feel like an outcast. You have received a lot of help throughout this journey, but as the level of difficulty increases, you are running out of helpline and tools to fit in with the rest. This is where you’re starting to feel the burnout and the sense of failure is starting to eat in.

2. How do you get out of here? Eight of Pentacles

Instead of finding ways to fit into societal norms, it would be much better if you focus on what you’re good at and work on it instead. Diligence and hard work are the foundation of success. This is a rather positive card, but you need to make sure that you’re putting in hard work in the right place. You need to first recognise the difference between What You Like and What You’re Good At. From there, you will then need to make the decision on which path you want to take, and how you can expand your skills, and how you can make use of the tools you have to help you out of this slump. Having dreams is great, but you need to equip yourself with the tools to make your dreams a reality. Sometimes, things can turn out to be not… Ideal. You may realise that what you like is not what you’re good at, and it can be rather disappointing, especially if you’re the type of person who wants to do something you like for a living. But then, you can continue to do the things that you like while you also focus on the things that you’re good at. Nothing is stopping you, as long as you know how to balance your time and energy.

3. What can you learn from this? Five of Wands

For some reason, I’m seeing conflict coming from not only within yourself, but also between you and your close friends. Conflicts and arguments often happen when there’s miscommunication, where each party believes themself to be at the right. It is also important to know that one learns better through these kinda fights, where you can take this opportunity to understand what the other person is thinking and expecting, and to see if you are capable of fulfilling that expectation. Every fight is a learning process, where you learn some parts of you that you are not aware of. From there, you make the necessary changes to make yourself into a better person. Now, just a reminder. If you’re incapable of a particular change, do not attempt to change yourself for it. Else, you’ll go through this same process of falling into this same slump, and this cycle will never end. It’s like saying that I can’t fit in the rest of the group because I’m wearing glasses and they don’t. If I don’t get my eyesight fixed, I can’t join their group. Am I gonna get a laser treatment for this? Nope. And it’s alright if I change my friend group because I am unable to adhere to their expectations. The same goes with neurodivergence and neurotypicals as well.

4. What should you do if this happens again? The Fool

Take it as a new form of journey if this happens again, where you travel, meet new people and learn more. You can rest if things get too overwhelming, but you need to remind yourself to get up again and continue your journey. Life’s a constant learning process, where you recognise your changes, and you come up with new coping methods to work with it, especially as you age. For example, your eyesight worsens with age, and you’ll need to change your glasses so that you’re able to function and work as normal. It is the same with life and slumps, where you find out the problems and work accordingly.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Judgement

First thing I’m picking up is that you’re very critical of whatever that’s happening within yourself. You may not turn that judging side of yours outwards, where you focus on criticising yourself more. You tend to intentionally make yourself uncomfortable by putting all the blame on yourself, and this is where you need to work on. Instead of putting all the blame on your shoulders, you may try putting them on others if it’s their fault. The more faults you take up, the more you’ll be used. Let others take the responsibility of their actions, let them be uncomfortable with the consequences. You need to remember who you are, and even if you’re judged, let it be because of your own actions, and not of others. Free yourself from what is not yours, may it be glory or sin. 

6. Advice for you. - Temperance rx, Nine of Cups rx, Wheel of Fortune

It’s pretty evident with the cards that are presented, where you need to balance yourself, inside and out. Short term gratification (the sense of belonging) is not gonna help you in the long run, especially if it eats into you and makes you question your identity, purpose, and sense of self. There’s a lot of thinking that you need to do, and you can start by writing things down and weighing the options.  You may feel that life’s playing a prank on you, or messing you up by throwing these challenges at you. This is something you need to go through though, as it is your life lesson. You may think that this lesson is not something you signed up for (a lot of us think the same), but your higher self had other plans in mind. It’s giving me the feeling that you have not picked up on themes on self identity and core beliefs in your past lives, that’s why you’re going through a bunch of it in this lifetime. Instead of rejecting and skipping class, why not sit through it and pick up bits and pieces to focus. 

Overall energy: The Lovers, Ace of Wands

I'm feeling some form of weight on my chest. It’s like you’re burdened with the choices offered to you, either A or B. You are not the type of person who’d prefer to make your pick, probably it’s because you are afraid of dealing with the outcome of your decisions. There’s fear here, but there’s also nervousness, as you’re starting a new chapter of something. Ace of Wands is the first card of the Minor Arcana, which talks about how you’re drafting your life. It would be great if you start the chapter in details of your healing process, including yourself surrendering the old and limiting beliefs that have been tying you down, allowing you to awaken and be reborn into limitless possibilities. 

[bbygirljuvi]

Gruvia Week 2021 Day 3 - Discovery

Author’s note: This emotional roller coaster turned out longer than I intended. Hope you enjoy ^^

Summary: It take place several hours after Alodron’s defeat, on the way of Drameel.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Group had stoped over in a small yard inside the forest before continuing their path to Drameel. It was the excuse they gave the army. They were campers which had been attacked by some wild animal on thir campsite. They would head to Drameel right after dressed their wounds. Aldron was just a town’s name they knew. To their surprise, army really bought that.

It was really small yard, just enough to lit a campfire. So everybody was spread around the forest. Less injuried members were gettering up wood and food to prepare dinner while Wendy was running around, healing big injuries with last drop of her magic.

Everybody was tired, injured and confused yet happy. Small victory smiles were visible on every face. Joyful whispers were rising from everywhere. Fairy tail was safe and together again.

Gray leaned on a tree which wasn’t too far away from campsite but private from other sights. He closed his eyes with a big sigh while Juvia went to get health supplies. The nauseous feeling had been crippling inside him since the event with Metro kept getting stronger and he was at his limit at this point. His head was aching, there was a still fresh wound end of the dried blood track, his left shoulder was at least dislocated and without adrenaline rush, he was feeling like fainting.

He opened his eyes with two different footsteps coming to his way. Juvia was carrying dressing matterials while Wendy was carrying a bowl of water. Both of their faces was twisted in worry. Was he looking bad as he felt?

“Gray-san what’s wrong, where did you get hurt ?” Wendy asked in rush. “Just my arm and head, not big deal” he said with a ressuring smile but nobody bought that.

Juvia was sitting in the corner, giving Wendy enough space to do her stuff. It wasn’t easy tho. He looked like a mess. She’d been aware that his condition was getting worse every passing minute as they walk but he wasn’t looking half as bad before she left, had he’s been faking it not to worry her? Her heart twitched with another wave of affection.

Wendy checked his head first and gasped a little. It was worse then she initially thought. “Do you feel dizzy or like vomiting Gray-san?” she asked. He gave a small nod then hissed in pain. That hurted, he thought.

“You’re probably having a concussion, I will heal it right away. You should still rest tho.” she said while using her magic. With that ice mage started to feel alive again. “Shit, I’m feeling awesome Wendy, you are amazing!!”

She mumbled something like thank you with one of her cute blushes on and tend towards his left shoulder, fixed it instantly too. This time Juvia talked “ We are so luck to have you Wendy-san~” she said with a bright smile. The gloom had been radiated from her was long gone. “I’m glad I can help my friends. Juvia-san what about you, Did you get hurt too?”

“No, just some scratches, Juvia is okey.”she said while giving an impish look to Gray. Which led him to blush and turn his head. Wendy didn’t know what was that about but she had a guess. “Is that so, than I’m heading to Erza-san. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need.” And left while ice and water mages were waving goodbye, warning her for not to overuse her magic.

Idiot,idiot,idiot he repeated himself as Wendy’s footsteps faded. She’s my power to live?? What will you do next time, kiss her in the battlefield? You extra little-

His inner scrolling cut short by a wet cloth. Juvia was cleaning his face. “Dressing time” she said, trying so hard not to grin like a cheshire cat. She knew it would scare him if she teased him about it longer than she already did. But remaining calm was hard when all she heard was her beloved’s voice echoing in her head. Juvia was his power to live!!

With that she bit her lower lip in an unsuccessful attempt to stop a smile from forming. Gray rolled his eyes to that but relaxed a bit. Her dramatic reactions were so familiar... Yeah, he had practically confessed but it wasn’t something new. Things wouldn’t changed between them. With that realisation he even smiled when she covered her mouth to muff her slipped out giggles.

“Oh,shut up” he said while rolling his eyes once again. But this time he was chukling too. “Juvia’s mouth is sealed.” She said while switching to his arm, cleaning the area with a bright smile. She had almost finished bandaging his right arm when he stopped her. “Wendy healed me, I should have done dressing to you first.” “Not until Juvia finishes mummifing Gray-sama” she said, pushed him back and continued her job. “Hah, I knew it, you had come out of nowhere to kill me. White mage was just an excuse, wasn’t it?” He said playfully. So he was comfortable enough to joke around again? He usually needed more time for his awkwardness to fade off. Progress, she mentally noted.

“Of course it was.” She put her best yandere impression on: “ She missed her Gray-sama too much while he was away, she come here to make sure he won’t leave her ever again!” Than laughed grisly.

“Okey, that was terrifying. You are terrifying Juvia” he played along. “Oh and you should be terrified, Juvia is dead serious, see?” she said, started wrapping his abdomen faster while touching that soft spot she knew Gray was ticklish more than she had to.

His response was immediate. “Stop, no, Juvia sto-“ his words cut off with a laughter. His eyes began to fill with the effort not to burst out. He was crawling in different shapes to save himself but Juvia was merciless. She cornered him between her body, large tree that he was initially leaning on and ground he was currently laying. And tickled him more aggressively as she finished bandaging his wounds. “I have a reputation damn it, stop.” he said between laughters and hold her wrists together in a, successful this time, attempt to stop her. But instead of trying to tickle him more or accepting her defeat, she hissed in pain.

He got up fast, questioning what was wrong while rolling up her sleeves. When he saw weird, bruis like wounds covering her whole arm, he yelped.

“Juvia!! Why didn’t you say anything?” Juvia was looking pretty surprised too. “Where Juvia had been pinned inside Metro was stinging a bit but she didn’t think it was something important...” Her voice kept getting lower once she saw his angry expression. “Your whole arm and-“ he checked under his long boots “ leg are covered in red bruises and you didn’t think it was important!?” Juvia opened her mouth but Gray was just started. “You never take care of yourself. Can’t I even trust you when you say I’m fine?” He started to unbuttoning her coat aggressively since bruises were going beyond her upper arms. He’s stripping me, she mentally noted and placed it aside for later. It wasn’t the right time, he was really angry.

“And you bandaged me with those arms! Always depriving yourself, UGH” She opened her mouth once again when he paused his silent yelling to search right ointment in first-ait bag. But before she could found an excuse, moment passed. He continued scrolling her while angrily rubbing oinment on her left arm.

“What should I do, do I need to strip you every time after a mission to make sure you are okey-“ he paused once again when his eyes slightly crossed over the scar on her abdomen, the one he couldn’t stand seeing. Oh-uh Juvia thought, knowing this would make him grumpier. And she was right, his grip tightened on her wrist. Continued his speech angrier which was about how reckless she was, how she was not listening her physical needs, how she should get her priorities right...

And at that moment, it hit her... She knew her feelings were not as unrequited as it was before. She had known it before that sweet words from several hours ago, she’s my power to live. She had known it before he had claimed her body by saying it’s his. She had known it before unpleasant encounter with Invel. She even had known it before he had promised an answer to her on starry night.

But at that exact moment, while he was grumbling about how reckless she was and angrily wrapping bandage above her elbow; she realised he may care her more than she dared to assume. And at that exact moment she felt loved, more loved than she felt her entire life.

He stopped when he saw her eyes were shining with tears. His expression softened with guilt. Lightened his grip. “I’m sorry. Did i hurt you?” She shooke her head and hugged him carefully, trying not to ruin his effort by rubbing ointment off.

“Juvia will take care of herself more from now on, she won’t act reckless, promise.” She said with a touched voice. It was obvious she was crying. “Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Gray tried to push her, to saw her face but she tightened her arms and buried her face deeper in his neck. “Nothing, really. Can we stay like this for a while please.” she said. Gray was about to object when he felt her tears in his neck, followed by a smile. That was a genuine smile. Gray had never been good at reading people’s emotions but Juvia was different. He would understand if she faked it.

So he mumbled “What is this for all of a sudden?” but still wrapped his arms around her waist, rested his blushed cheek on her hair. They were out of sight anyway.

They stayed in that position until Mirajane declared it was dinner time.

[cuinnamonbun]

Hi again! I got another HC idea. 😌

How would the brothers + angels react to a laidback Muslim MC whose also really violent? Like their mood switch flips instantly lmao

Aye, wassup friend! Regarding your ask, at this point you’re just describing ME lmao, somedays I really do just wake up and choose violence 😭 aite let’s do this 😎

The Demon Brothers + Angels Reacting to a Laidback Muslim!MC Turning Violent

Lucifer

At first this man loves MC and the amount of calm and composure that they have

Though he finds it irritating when he’s threatening them and they would just look up at him with the most dull expression on their face (like seriously human, you should be SCARED)

But still, with how chaotic his brothers are, he appreciates a collected and peaceful demeanour whenever he finds it and MC is breath of fresh air even if he won’t admit it

Silence with them always felt comforting and never awkward

One day, he noticed that MC was rather tense and rigid and had asked them if they were fine to which they replied yes through gritted teeth

Sensing that perhaps they were not in the best of moods, he let them go only to hear them politely ask Mammon to get out of their room

Of course our resident dumbass (affectionate) refused in an attempt to tease them, only to be YEETED from the room and into the hallway where Lucifer was standing with a bewildered look on his face

MC was standing by the door with a dark look in their eyes and the most sinister looking scowl that could rival Satan’s before they slammed the door shut in their faces

When he finally got over his shock, he would be extremely, extremely enthused

He will now spend his free time trying to rile up MC just so he can see them lose their temper again

He couldn’t help himself. He knew that Islam emphasises heavily on the virtues of patience as a sign of piety and so he just assumes that MC would just,,,,never yield to anything

This is when he realises he has a corruption kink ok sorry not sorry

May or may not pop a boner if/when he succeeds and they blow up (not literally) in his face

Mammon

He adores this human. Partly because he’s head over heels in love with them he hardly has anyone to drag with him along with his schemes and this human just seems to be down for anything, and mostly because they’re always so coolheaded

It allows him to pull off his plans without a hitch because MC’s composure allows them to be able to think up a quick solution whenever the two of them inevitably face a brick wall during one of Mammon’s schemes

With them around, Mammon would be 15% richer than he would be if he went alone so he’s keeping them around thank u very much

The first time he witnessed them turn violent is when the two of them were hanging out in his room when Levi bursted in, screaming his head off about how Mammon stole his wallet (he didn’t) and that the limited edition Ruri-chan collection was dropping soon in 24 hours and yada yada yada

And when he found out that Mammon didn’t, in fact, steal it, Levi wouldn’t apologise, oh no no no no. Rather, he would proceed to insult and degrade his brother until MC finally have had enough and went. off.

Seriously, the two demons were so shocked that the usually chill human was now on their feet and threatening to ‘deck Levi over the head WWE style if he didn’t quit it with the insults’ that the two brothers just stopped arguing

If Mammon weren’t so astounded, he would’ve found the whole thing hilarious because here is one of the rulers of Hell, turning white as a sheet as he is being cussed out by a small, furious human

After their long-winded (and frankly terrifying) speech that were riddled with not-so-subtle threats, Levi mumbled an apology and quickly shuffled out of the room with his tail between his legs and MC just plopped back down on his couch with their usual dull expression back on their face as if they didn’t just go on a tirade just seconds prior

Mammon’s love for the MC increased tenfold right then and there

Leviathan

Oh, you’re really quiet and laidback? Cool.

He doesn’t really care about it but he does enjoy having them around during his gaming sessions or when he needs a buddy to watch anime with him because they’re the only ones who would listen to him prattle on about theories and endings whilst enjoying the game/anime

He also vents to them A LOT and is the first person he seeks whenever he’s annoyed or frustrated by his brothers

He was heading over to the living room for movie night with his brothers and MC when he found his brothers all bickering with one another (no shocker there) and MC sitting on the couch reading a hard cover book

Of course, once they saw him enter, he was immediately dragged into the argument about which movie they were gonna watch

Now as the otaku of the family, Levi’s pretty very vocal and highly opinionated about the type of film they should watch for movie night and he dislikes it whenever someone would argue with him on his choice of film

So when Satan told him to his face that his movie selection sucked and he should just leave his input out, Levi would be so, so, SO offended and upset which was evident from his expression alone

Before he could defend himself though, a book suddenly went hurtling through the air and hit Satan right in the middle of his forehead like a bullseye

At first Satan was FURIOUS but it quickly died down when all the brothers finally realised where the book had come from: MC’s direction

They all turned to see an irritated look on their usually placid face and dominant arm raised as if they’d just thrown a shot put

“Oops. My hand slipped,” they said monotonously before sauntering away from the now-quiet living room

Levi is now cautious of accidentally angering MC, but he can’t help that moe feeling that MC actually threw that book in his defense

Satan

As the Avatar of Wrath, Satan is extremely attuned to people’s rage and MC is no different

He was honestly the only one out of his brothers who wouldn’t be surprised if one day MC woke up and chose violence

I mean, he usually keeps his wrath under wraps, hiding it well with an easy smile and friendly demeanour and he could tell that MC was the same

He knew that no one human could ever have that high amount of patience, especially when dealing with his brothers, doesn’t matter if they’re religious or not

In fact, he was waiting for the day he would finally see them snap and release all the pent up rage he knew they bottle carefully within themselves

Of course it happened when Asmo would not stop pestering MC about going to the club

As MC is a Muslim, it’s not a surprise that they’re against going to places like clubs, casinos or bars

Usually MC was able to tune out Asmo’s pleas like white noise but it was when Asmo turned to physically dragging them that became the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back

The poker-faced MC now looked more like an Avatar of Wrath than Satan himself

Satan only watched in amusement as MC dug their heels in the pavement, cradled a confused Asmo’s face in their hands...and pulled his cheeks with a bright smile and the most ominous look in their eyes before telling him ‘fuck off before I proceed to give all of ur prized makeup and skincare for Mammon to sell and use our pact to make u watch as he earns his cash’ in the sweetest way possible

Asmo no longer pesters them to join him clubbing

Satan: I’d just like to say, I’m your biggest fan

Asmodeus

Asmo loves loves LOVES having this human around because they always let him use them as his own personal doll

That means impromptu fashion shows in his room, makeovers, spa days, mani-pedis you name it

So he always assumed they were this paragon of patience and stoicism, never once losing their cool

The first time he saw them turn violent was when the two of them were walking down to the kitchen with Asmo chatting their ear off about some scandal this succubus has found herself in with these two demon best friends while they just listened and occassionally chiming in

When they reached the kitchen however, they found Beel by the kitchen, no shocker there

But MC had stopped dead in their tracks because right there in his hands was the chilled lemon soufflé that they’d been making for Lucifer (upon his request)

It’d taken them hours to perfect the dessert to Lucifer’s standards and they’d left it in the fridge to chill before serving it to him for tea time

So when Beel raised the now-empty glass to show to MC with a happy look on his face, it was enough to send them over the edge and scream bloody murder to the brothers’ surprise

Beel will apologise sheepishly but MC will force him to remake the dessert without letting him eat anything until it is perfect

It was torture for him and Asmo vows to never unintentionally set them off again because...holy shit MC

Beelzebub

Beel is a chill dude most of them time when he’s not hungry

All he wants is for his brothers to stay safe, happy and healthy and he’s a happy demon 🥺

He likes having a laidback MC around whether it’s during studying, snacking or even when he’s working out

Their presence is always so calming and comforting for him since their lax nature just reminds him so much of Belphie

The first time he saw them truly angry was when they’d found out that their favourite sweater that they brought back from the human world had been destroyed and discarded in the trash

As it turned out, Belphie had been rumaging through their room for something to snuggle with while MC had been away at Purgatory Hall and found their sweater

In an unfortunate string of events, a loose thread from the sweater had caught on the end of a door latch and the sleepy Belphegor hadn’t enough patience at the time to gently untangle it

Instead, he forcefully yanked it, causing the sweater to tear

Deciding that it’s better to just grab their blanket or something, Belphie discarded the article of clothing in the trash before stealing their blanket and stalking away to the attic for a nap

When MC found out, they. were. furious.

That means a lot of smashing, screaming and shouting until Beelzebub or Lucifer finally managed to calm them down

He’s sad that MC is so angry at his twin but he never wanted to see MC lose their temper like that ever again

Belphegor

Exam season was rapidly approaching at RAD and that means more assignments, quizzes and tests 

For the average student, it also means sleepless nights, mental breakdowns and consuming a concerning amount of caffeine

For Belphegor, he simply couldn’t give a shit

No amount of exams is scary enough to get his ass out of bed and study 

And like his other brothers, he assumed the same for MC

They always had that poker face on them as they studied and they never once argued or talked back to one of his brothers even though they were being so annoying and irritating (to him) and were clearly disturbing their revision time

He sees the hard work that they’re putting in their studies and reputation and even though they hide it behind a blasé mask, he knew they were exhausted

It was up to Belphegor to recognise their cues and force them to take breaks by napping with him

He was peacefully napping in the common room beside a studying MC, patiently waiting for their 25 minute break from their pomodoro session when Lucifer had walked in and begun to bark chores at them that even woke up the younger demon beside them

And to their surprise, rather than wordlessly carrying out his commands like the demons had expected them to, MC slammed their pen down on the coffee table and yelled at him

MC: you know what, Lucifer? Why don’t you take your ***** and ****** then shove it up your ****** and let’s not forget to *****, you little ***** ***** *****!!!

Belphegor had never been more proud and concerned for this little human who was far too brave for their own good

Simeon

It’s said by everyone who knew him that Simeon is always so calm and composed, always greeting everybody with a kind smile and gentle eyes

He never once loses his cool, but that doesn’t mean that he does not feel anger from time to time

Like Satan, Simeon is understanding of MC’s anger and would never reprimand them for blowing up

Anger is healthy after all

He has expressed concern before for MC’s mental wellbeing as they were far too patient for their own good

Of course, in all his years of living, he has seen remarkable humans with superhuman patience before like the Prophets Muhammad and Jesus (peace be upon them) but even that was because they had divine intervention 

The first time he saw them finally snap was when the two of them were enjoying a pleasant walk towards the House of Lamentation from RAD when Mammon and Levi appeared out of nowhere and began fighting again

It had been non-stop screaming, insulting and fighting with these two for almost three weeks now and MC was so, so, sooo close to yeeting them off the side of a cliff

Their composure finally snapped when Mammon and Levi had been roughhousing so close to them that they accidentally stepped on Simeon’s robe (or is it more of a cape?? idk) and tore a small hole in it

Simeon has never been more surprised to see MC roar at them and begin a stern lecture that reminded him so terribly of Lucifer

He was so amused that he couldn’t help but laugh when they forced the two to apologise to him before dragging them over to the House by their ears, completely ignoring their desperate cries for mercy 

It was a hilarious sight and he would’ve recorded that entire scene on his DDD if he weren’t so hopeless with technology

Luke

MY SONNN

Luke is reminded of Simeon when he first got to know MC

They were always so collected and level-headed even though they were thrown in Hell out of the blue for an exchange programme that lasts a whole year

He never understood how they could be so chill with living with 7 demons under one roof though like??? hello????? human are u functioning well?

But he likes having them around because they’re always so nice to him and always keen on spending time with him

Which is where he finally saw them snap

The two of them were carrying their cupcakes that they’d made for their picnic date alongside Simeon and Solomon and had left them on the table for a few minutes while they went to gather the rest of the supplies

They came back to see that the cupcakes had been ravaged by Mammon, Levi and Beel who all looked so pleasantly happy munching on their hard work

Luke was extremely distraught and upset over this and protective MC will NOT tolerate this kind of behaviour to their son

So using the power of the pacts, they forced the brothers to grovel at his feet and apologise by doing whatever Luke wants them to do

He wants a glass of water? LEVI GET UR ASS TO THE KITCHEN RN! He wants pizza? MAMMON U RUN UR CUT LIL BUTT TO HELL’S KITCHEN AND GET HIM A LARGE PIZZA STAT! He wants to be fed? BEEL U BETTER MOVE THAT FOOD FROM UR MOUTH SON AND FEED IT TO HIM ASAP!

Luke secretly enjoys it but he still can’t help but feel kinda bad for the brothers and slightly scared of MC now

[sepublic]

Luz’s time in the Boiling Isles?

          Building off of a previous post, we know that Eda only sells human garbage on weekends; Otherwise, she sells potions during the week. With this incredibly vital piece of information, let’s analyze the timeline of each episode, and calculate once and for all; How long has Luz been on the Boiling Isles? Keep in mind… I’m only calculating the minimum amount of time, because the possibility for entire days and even weeks passing between episodes isn’t out of the question; But given how Luz is operating on limited time before she heads back home when summer ends…

          For now, let’s just try not to assume anything, and work with only the actual evidence we have; So unless stated otherwise, we’re operating on the assumption that a minimum amount of time takes place between episodes, unless proof states otherwise! Because we know as of the Season Finale that Camila doesn’t yet expect Luz to be back from Reality Check Camp, and Luz expresses no concerns about an impending deadline; Ergo, we’re working with as little time as possible, while still leaving some room here or there…

          A Lying Witch and a Warden takes place on a BI Sunday, because Eda is selling human trash, and the very next day it’s potions! Witches before Wizards, by this logic, takes place on the BI Monday right after!

          Next comes I was a Teenage Abomination; We know it’s on a school day, so it’s likely the same week as WbW. Then there’s The Intruder; Willow is briefly seen at the beginning wearing her casual outfit. There’s no indication of what time of day it is when this all happens, and we know from Really Small Problems that Willow can and has worn her casual outfit the morning before changing into her uniform for the school day; Regardless, even if it was a weekday or a BI Saturday, it doesn’t matter. Because immediately afterwards…

          …We have Covention! THAT opens with Eda, Luz, and King selling human garbage, so it’s officially been a full week since Luz has arrived! Happy one-week anniversary, I guess…? Regardless, we segway into Hooty’s Moving Hassle; The trio are hanging around at the Owl House instead of selling stuff, and only head into Bonesborough to get more elixirs for Eda’s curse. Coupled with how Willow and Gus arrive wearing their school uniforms, it’s safe to say the opening scenes take place after-school on a week day.

          Lost in Language! This one is SUPER helpful, because Emira, bless her, outright says that Covention happened last week; Given how this episode takes place over the course of a day, and yet Amity is at the library instead of school (and she would NEVER skip class), it’s obviously a weekend. It’s worth noting that Eda and King aren’t selling human trash on this day, but that’s likely because the Bat Queen had just dropped off her kids that morning, so it was just a change of plans.

          Next is Once Upon a Swap; We start with the gang selling human trash again. It’s possible a full week has transpired, and we’ve jumped into the next weekend… Or, LiL happened on a BI Saturday, and OUaS is a Sunday (which means the same day Eda woke up to find the Bat Queen’s children missing, she switched everyone’s bodies). We know that Amity is Top Student for a reason; You don’t get that position by being a slow reader. Coupled with how she’s an avid fan of The Good Witch Azura, it’s likely that she finishes the book Luz gave her sooner, rather than later… So for now, LiL and OUaS happen back-to-back, one day after the other! That, or LiL begins after-school on Friday… Regardless, it’s still only been two weeks since Luz arrived!

          Now, I know that you might be thinking- At the end of OUaS, Hooty says it’s time for his Monthly Cleaning, and yet earlier that day Luz shows disgust about having to clean him; Implying she’s participated in a previous monthly cleaning! And to that I say… NO, that doesn’t necessarily mean that. All it means is that Luz knows Hooty is filthy and thus dreads the idea of having to clean him. It doesn’t necessarily point to her having been part in a previous monthly cleaning. So for now, it’s just been two weeks.

          Something Ventured, Someone Framed is a school day, obviously. Then we have Escape of the Palisman; Presumably another school day, because a school game takes place and we see Willow and other students in their school uniforms! Gus is wearing a sweater over his, but otherwise; EotP probably takes place on a BI Friday! So THREE weeks have passed!

          Then comes Sense and Insensitivity; It starts on a weekend because human trash is being sold, but what’s interesting is that it takes place over the course of a few days, as Eda says she’ll be gone for that amount of time; Not to mention, even with magic, it’d likely take time for King to have Ruler’s Reach edited, printed, advertised, and gain an avid fanbase. In addition to people already expecting a sequel announcement, and how a few days is usually by minimum three… It’s likely that this episode extends into the week as well. We see Boscha and a few other Hexside student in their school uniforms, but this can easily be explained as either happening after-school, as well as the fact that there’s not much of a reason to go and design a bunch of unique, casual outfits for some background characters; Boscha and her friends are also seen in their school uniforms during Once Upon a Swap, which IS a weekend.

          (Now this raises the question; If this happened over a few days, what was Luz doing before King invited her? Well… she was all alone, typing her story by herself, sad because her friend ditched her for a few days. 😢)

          Next is Adventures in the Elements! We have no indication on when a Trash Day is, and what’s the logic behind it, if there’s any consistent scheduling, etc. It doesn’t really matter though; We immediately see Amity in her casual attire, and later that day she and the twins are practicing magic on the Knee. It’s safe to say that this is a weekend, and/or…

          Remember what I said earlier, about how SaI likely extended into the week? Well, if it’s a weekend already… Then that implies an entire WEEK has passed between SaI and AitE! And, remember… In SVSF, Principal Bump mentions that Luz will go to Hexside when the next semester starts; We don’t know how semesters work in the Boiling Isles school system. For all we know, they’re more akin to a six-week grading period if anything else (even if they don’t last as long).

          That being said, the idea that there’s a full week of no school between semesters is also possible… We don’t know if summer vacation is a thing on the Boiling Isles, so perhaps a whole week off between semesters compensates for this? That, or there is no compensation, period, given how the school system in the Boiling Isles is clearly flawed and spends emphasis on molding children into obedient workers.

          For now, I’m inclined to say that a week has passed between SaI and AitE… But if one considers that Amity is still reading Azura when this all happens, then that means it’s taken her two weeks to finish the book; That, or she finished the book within a few days and didn’t have the chance to meet up with Luz until two weeks later. Amity IS the Top Student, so combined with her parents’ pressure, she may not have a very open schedule; Which could also drag out her time reading Azura.

          That might seem like a stretch in more than just the temporal way, so I’ll keep an open mind; It’s worth noting that if I AM right and there’s a full week of no school, then it’s not out of the question for AitE to have taken place on a weekday. The fact that Amity isn’t going to school, and yet Eda doesn’t seem to be having any plans to sell human garbage prior to Luz’s request to be taught a second spell (she’s at home trying to cook sentient vegetables), indicates this ISN’T a weekend, but a weekday with no school.

          My point is, if SaI started on a Saturday at minimum (because Eda is selling human trash), and a few days have passed… Then it doesn’t make sense for Amity to be wearing casual clothes and not going to school, UNLESS a full week has passed, or there isn’t school for a week (or maybe a day, but this is between semesters too). An entire week has to have passed either way, because it doesn’t make much sense for a semester to end and begin within the same week; Regardless, it’s only a one-week difference when we ultimately tally up Luz’s time on the Boiling Isles, as of the Season 1 finale.

          (Mind you, it could all just be a continuity error; But that’s no fun, is it!)

          The next episode is The First Day… Very clearly a BI Monday, unless it started on a Tuesday for whatever reason; Regardless, it’s during the school week, and likely early into it! Next is Really Small Problems, which would’ve been a school day- But Boscha’s pet pixies caused class to be cancelled. Then Understanding Willow has Luz and her friends at school… Followed by Enchanting Grom Fright! EGF likely takes place by the end of the week, as that’s usually when such formal occasions happen; Keep in mind, at least two whole days pass during this episode, one at school, and the other when Amity is training Luz on her fears! It’s possible this training period happens after-school, especially given how she mentions that they have no more time left once it ends. So EGF potentially starts on a BI Thursday, before ending on a Friday night. Either way, the week has ended- That’s FIVE weeks, baby!

           Now, we go into Wing it like Witches! It’s the very beginning of Grudgby Season, so I think it’s a safe assumption to say that this episode takes place on a BI Monday- So it’s the next week after Grom. This episode comes and goes across the span of a day, not much else to say here. Then we have Agony of a Witch… What’s interesting is that in the previous episode, Lilith mentions how she WILL be back to capture Eda, and how she alludes to Belos getting impatient. Not only that, but Amity’s leg is still broken in Agony of a Witch, too…

          We know that witches have access to healing magic, and that Amity is using a Healing Glyph to speed up her recovery. Grudgby Cards released as supplementary material to the episode allude to witches having regenerative abilities- With or without this possibility, we can assume that Amity is going to heal sooner rather than later because of magic, in addition to Lilith likely intending to capture Eda ASAP as Belos’ patience wears thin. We know AoaW takes place during a school day as well, as this is when Luz has a field trip to Belos’ castle… With all that in mind, we can probably infer this episode as having happened later that same week that Amity broke her leg. The day ends with Luz walking back home across the Boiling Isles by herself, on-foot, the ENTIRE way back to the Owl House… And then sunrise, meaning Luz has been walking for the whole night… 🥺

           …And then we have Young Blood, Old Souls- Our long-awaited Season Finale! Considering what Luz, Lilith, and Belos all have at stake here… It doesn’t make much sense for them to wait an entire day before getting along their respective business with Eda; And with how the scenes are framed, it’s all but said that YBOS takes place the day after the field trip… So right after Luz arrived back at the Owl House at the end of AoaW that morning, she barely got any time to rest before she changed into her regular clothes and enacted her rescue mission, that same day! Jeez… Luz must’ve been EXHAUSTED by the end of the episode, and coupled with the relief of finally rescuing Eda in the end- She deserves a nice long rest!

           Young Blood, Old Souls takes place across an entire day… I can’t tell if it’s a school day or not, because- Willow and Gus ARE shown in their casual outfits during the episode… But they were also seen wearing their casual outfits the morning of RSP, right before they planned to head to school, only to find out it was cancelled. We also see other Hexside Students in this episode, but they’re always depicted with their uniforms on, school day or not. Even if it were a school day, I can see Belos making a special occasion to cancel school so he can have everyone gather for his petrification of Eda… And there’s also the chance that by the time we see Willow and Gus, their school day has already ended, and everything’s happening in the evening.

           (If so, then this leaves room for Luz having at least had a decent nap and meal before going off to rescue Eda, the poor girl.)

           Regardless… We know that Agony of a Witch and Young Blood, Old Souls happen back-to-back, right after one another, across the span of exactly two days; From the morning of one day, to nighttime of the next. Because Amity’s leg is still broken despite having the Healing Glyph applied as of the Season Finale… We can probably assume that the final two episodes happen sooner rather than later; So it’s likely that our last two episodes of Season 1 occur later in the same week as WilW. Regardless of whether or not the season finale is on a weekend or a BI Friday; It’s basically been about a week, for all intents and purposes. So then our last three episodes of Season 1 happen across Luz’s sixth week at the Boiling Isles, by minimum.

           So, to round it up; Luz has been in the Boiling Isles for SIX WEEKS at minimum, potentially longer; Maybe five, if my calculations about an entire week passing between Sense and Insensitivity and The First Day are wrong. Potentially as little as FOUR, if I’m also wrong about Lost in Language and Once Upon a Swap happening back-to-back! So, 4-6 Weeks by minimum, with my estimations leaning into the latter number. We know that Luz is supposed to be at the Reality Check Camp for presumably the entire summer… So that’s about three months; Six weeks is about a month and a half, so about halfway through Luz’s intended time away from home, before she was supposed to return- And in line with Luz not showing any concern about having to leave the Boiling Isles, anytime soon. Luz has a decent amount of time before summer ends, and Camila realizes that her kid is missing!

           Of course, we don’t know how long it’ll be between Seasons 1 and 2, how much time will occur across Season 2; And there’s always the possibility of Camila suspecting that something is up before Reality Check Camp is bound to end, because Luz is no longer responding to her texts. We also don’t know how things are going on the end of whoever is impersonating Luz with those letters, and how they’d be affected by the portal’s destruction, if at all… For all we know, there might even be a doppelganger of Luz that’ll be sent in her place, by the time she’s supposed to return from Reality Camp! And that’s not even taking into account the possibility of Luz finding her way back home before Reality Camp ends…

           Regardless of how things will happen in the future, as of now; I think Luz has been on the Boiling Isles for six weeks by minimum. There’s still room and possibility for additional weeks to have occurred between certain episodes and more ambiguous time frames- Not to mention the idea of Boiling Isles weeks being structured differently from ours… Maybe they have more days or less- We’ve seen a calendar or two in the background that could point in either direction, but nothing outright definitive. And even if weeks were shorter/longer, there’s the consideration of how long each day/night lasts, and how that’ll overlap with Earth time… So Luz’s stay COULD be shorter/longer than the equivalent of six Earth weeks, who can say? Though for the sake of simplicity and everyone’s sanity, I wouldn’t be shocked if Dana and the crew decided that Boiling Isles time runs concurrent with Earth time, for the most part.

          Whether or not I’m correct, I think it does put into some perspective how much time Luz has spent at the Owl House, and the bonds, relationships, and growth she’s experienced during her stay! It definitely helps you appreciate what Luz and the others have accomplished, and how far their journey has progressed together- That this really is a summer that has changed Luz’s life more fundamentally, more succinctly across a shorter span of time, than most of her life… And it becomes clear just how impactful Luz’s second home and found family in the Boiling Isles is to her, and vice-versa!

          Because Luz hasn’t just been changed- She’s changed OTHERS, from Eda, to King… Willow, Gus, Amity- And she’s even instated quite a bit of change in the Boiling Isles itself, changing up Hexside’s curriculum and planting the seeds of a rebellion against Belos; In addition to rediscovering Glyphs, and how that can really change what it means to be a Witch going forward- Because now, it seems the role of ‘Witch’ has become much more inclusive once more, thanks to Luz! Dredging up the ancient past, while influencing the present and future so immensely across such a relatively brief period of time; Luz really is such a cryptid and outside-context anomaly to the Boiling Isles, befitting someone who comes from another reality entirely!

[queenmuzz]

Mors aurem vellens, 'Vivite,' ait, 'venio'  Chapter III

Firstfruit Offering

The sun shone in your eyes, causing you to flinch.  How long had you slept?  Of course, you’d had a long trip, and your body didn’t have the stamina it used to, but surely you wouldn’t be so negligent as to sleep until mid morning?  But the way the shadows caused by the pillars stretched out on the marble, you had definitely overslept. Using your staff, you almost ran into the inner sanctum, terrified that you had the sacred fire die out.  From your interactions last night, you were almost certain that Vergil was not the type of God to have his rites besmirched.   What a dishonour it would be, to be slain for blasphemy on your first day as Temple Priestess!

Thankfully, the flames still flickered, albeit weakly, eating the last of the log, the embers now almost ash.  

So you gingerly placed another log from your small stash, as to not smother the little flame.  You cautiously began to blow at the base of the charred log, only stopping when the flames began to lick and scorch at the new logs shreds, kindling into a new flame.  With a sigh of relief, you slowly got back up.  In the light of mid morning, the temple, while eerily silent, was less foreboding than last evening, and the whistling wind seemed less strange. 

Even the presence of Vergil, unseen, but ever present was much less terrifying.  You could feel him, watching your every move, but not as overwhelming and less judgemental as last night, you still felt him as you walked back to your messy bedroll.  After all, he could have just struck you down for sleeping in, for almost losing the fire, he was well within his rights as God within his Temple.  But he just remained silent as his shrine statue.

You arrived back to your modest sleeping area, and as you rolled up your bundle, you noticed something. There, sitting at the foot of the bed was a bundle of brown fur. Upon closer inspection showed that there was one...no two...rabbits laying dead.  For a brief moment, you panicked, you had heard of feuding families leaving dead animals in the beds of their enemies as a warning.  But these ones seemed placed at the foot of the bed, and not where you would have noticed them upon waking.  And the way they were positioned, they kind of reminded you of when the barn cats would present dead mice to you and your siblings, as some sort of ‘gift’. Had Vergil given them to you as a ‘welcome present?’ You had to stifle an inward snicker at the mental image of the God carrying the pair of rabbits in his mouth before dropping it at your feet, and you hoped that he didn’t have the ability to read minds.  But, even though you still felt like you were being watched, there was no change in the intensity, and so you relaxed, and allowed yourself to utter out a soft ‘Thank you’ into the still air.  There was a shimmer in the light, the roots of the giant plant seemed to shift slightly, but then, all was silent.  You picked both of the rabbits up, and a knife contemplating on what to do with them.  Skinning them would be the first step of course, but what then?  Roasting them sounded delicious, but you had no time to turn a spit, undoubtedly today would be busy.  But perhaps...a stew?  You had a turnip, and some wild herbs that you’d picked up on your travels.  Unfortunately, a stew was not a stew worth eating without some bread to soak up the juices, and you were practically down to crusts of  bread so stale, that not even an ocean of stew would soften them up....

“Hello?!”  A voice rang out, startling you out of your thoughts.  You placed your knife down and followed the voice.  From what you had heard, no one ever came here, the entire countryside thought  land was cursed, and the temple shouldn’t have any visitors.  Still, it would be rude as Temple Priestess to not greet the person, even if they were lost.

“Hello? Anyone here?” The voice repeated, more louder, and it came from the common area.   Strange, you swore you could smell freshly baked bread.

Ah, there the visitor, a plump, auburn haired woman with a ruddy complexion, dressed in a simple peasant’s dress, carrying a basket, looking around slightly worriedly, and muttering to herself. 

“I do hope nothing bad happened to her, if something did….Enrico, I’m going to...” she growled, but whatever her threat was cut off by your appearance.

“AH!  There you are! When I heard that my Dear'' the faux deference dripped through, “husband left you all by your lonesome here, at NIGHT of all times, without inviting you to spend the night at our farm place, I was THIS close,” she pinched the fingers of her free hand together, almost touching, “to making him sleep with the pigs.  Damn fool…”  she brushed the hair away from her face, and looked around.  “So, I told him that I was going to come here this morning, and that he either come along, or be in charge of all the chores.” She chuckled, “Guess which he picked? He’s so superstitious, he’d rather have to milk the cows, feed the chickens, AND look after our little son than set foot here.  Anyways,” she smiled and gave a curtsy, “I’m Cecilia Elesion, wife of the lovable idiot, Enrico.  And I figured to myself, ‘that poor girl is all by herself, a newcomer, with no one lookin’ out for herself, so I’m gonna take a look out for her.’  Rico begged me not to go, but I insisted.  It’s ‘bout time someone took care of this Temple, it’s been abandoned for ages.” She took a look around, her eyes trailing the roots that wound themselves the pillars. “Ah, yes...I suppose you could call this a ‘Welcome to your new home’ gift.  I made em’ meself!”  She handed you the basket, and the gingham sheet that covered slipped off, revealing several loaves of freshly baked bread, some even designed in a braided pattern.  This wasn’t the leftover scraps of a farm wife's dough, these were the first loaves.  Cecelia was obviously sincere in her devotion.  

“Thank you!” you breathed in the scent as you took the basket.  After months of bread hard enough to crack teeth, warm fresh bread was glorious.  It would make a fantastic addition to the rabbit stew you had planned.  It would be  your first proper meal since you had left your home village.  For an instant, you felt a bit homesick, memories of your mother’s hearty stew.  You grasped her hand in thanks, trying to invoke a blessing, but a familiar chill trickled up your spine, and you felt a whisper in the shell of your ear.

“Ah….it appears she has been blessed by my Mother….” Vergil’s voice nearly startled you, unexpected as it was.  He’d been so content to lurk in the background, that you’d momentarily forgotten about his presence.  You paused for a moment, a frown on your face as you tried to decipher what he said.  Eva’s blessing… AHA!  The generous woman in front of you was with child, even if she didn’t show it, perhaps she didn’t even know it.

“Is something wrong?” Cecelia asked, misinterpreting your frown for a concern.  You hesitated, not knowing how to go around such a delicate subject.  As a child, you remember your mother slapping a man when he asked her when she was expecting, even when she wasn’t pregnant.  Should  you even mention it?  You decided, you  had been given a message from a God, it wouldn’t do to not relay it.

“I am just a little concerned with you going through all this effort, carrying all this load while expecting.”  After all, a pregnant woman shouldn’t exert herself too much.  She should be informed of her condition, in order to prepare herself.

Cecelia’s reaction was unexpected.  She turned pale, and a tinge of fear passed over her face. “You...you could tell?”

Ah, so she already knew.

“Well, I was told,” you admitted, glancing at the statue.  Strange, she should be happy, excited for a new addition to the family, not looking like she was about to burst out in tears.

“No one knows yet, not even Enrico.” she confessed, a sheen of sweat coming over her forehead.  You quickly leant your arm to help her down to the floor. “We’ve tried so hard after our only son, so many losses, that this time… this time I couldn’t bear to  let him know, I didn’t want to get his hopes up once again, only for them to come crashing down.  Our little Credo...he was our miracle child...I had resigned myself to focusing on just him.”  She looked at you, dawning horror on her face.  “He told you?  Does that mean…?”  She couldn’t speak further, the poor woman looked like she was going to pass out.

The whisper came again, without a hint of deception, “I have no claims on her unborn child nor her, not for many years, my Mother shall guide her through both their journeys.”  His words, while spoken firmly and without empathy, were a relief to you.  

Oh, so this was going to be  a Priestess’s job?  You’d always assumed that it would be a rather insular job, tending to the hearth, offering prayers, not relaying messages like the more outgoing Gods’ priests.  You knelt down towards the trembling woman, speaking as soothingly as possible. “It’s alright...He has spoken to me, and he says that you and your child are safe.”  

The woman scanned your face, trying to find out if  you were truly speaking the truth, or just speaking false words of comfort, before the impact of what you had said hit her.

“You’re...you’re certain?”  

You nodded, inwardly relieved as the ruddiness returned to her cheeks.  What you didn’t expect was her hugging you.

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!”  You swore you could hear your ribs cracking, “A thousand blessings upon you.  You have no idea how much both of us have been praying to Mother Eva for another child, we were almost planning on making a Pilgrimage to Fortuna.  But if you and Him say…”  she looked to you for one last confirmation, and smiled brightly.  “Rico will be delighted when I tell him.  And to think…” her old grin came back, “he’d rather clean up chicken droppings than set foot in this place.”  She looked down at the basket, momentarily forgotten, “this is poor payment, but is there anything, ANYTHING you need that our family can provide, we can do it.”

“Well,” you thought.  In truth, the fact the Temple was located on lifeless ground, meant you were without much sustenance, so maybe… “Wood for the sacred hearth.  I need a supply to keep the flame burning.”

“Say no more,” Cecilia assured you as she got back onto her feet, “you will lack for nothing. We’re just poor humble farmers, but we can provide you and Him the essentials.  Whatever you need!” 

She gave a curtsy to you, paused before the statue, and clasped her hands to speak a short silent prayer.  For a brief moment, you swore you saw the roots quiver, but when tried to take a closer look, they were still.  But something in the air was different, other than the smell of bread, there was a vibration, a smell of fresh earth, but then it was sucked up, like water to a dry sponge.

And with that the woman left, a spring to her step, so out of place in such a dour looking place.

*******

Vergil watched as the little plump woman hurried out, singing a merry tune.  Mortals got far too excited over small things.  While he spoke the truth,  that for now, he had no claims on her or her child, in a short amount of his time, he would claim one, then the other.  That went for everyone, none could escape his reach.  Perhaps that’s why people were afraid of him, that they would attempt to avoid his inevitable arrival to end their pitiful lives.  But this was strange.  That woman had… thanked him?  To him, a God of Death, be given thanks felt...fulfilling.  A surge of energy, more potent than life blood coursed through him, and the Qliphoth’s roots seemed to twitch in response.  

“Well, that was kind of you.”  His sense of puzzlement was dissipated as the voice of his Priestess, who was watching the woman’s receding form. 

He stood beside her, still invisible and scoffed, “She provided an offering, I felt it would be poor form to let her leave without being compensated.” “But you didn’t have to do that.  You made her so happy!” she placed her hands together, “If you did that more often, perhaps more people would visit your temple!”

“And what makes you think I want people to ‘visit’?”

“Well…” she stroked her chin, “I assumed you would be lonely all by yourself here.  After all, that’s what temples and shrines are for, right?  To be a meeting point for both mortals and Deities.  Us mortals give you offerings and our prayers, and you give us advice, prophecies  and sometimes intercede on our behalf.”

She looked outside.  “Where I come from, in the wild forests…packs of monkeys and herds of  deer travel together.  The deer, with their keen noses, lead the monkeys to fresh vegetation with nuts and fruits, and the monkeys, sitting high above the trees, have a good view of the surrounding area and can alert the deer when a tiger is prowling downwind of the herd.  A relationship in which both benefit.”

Vergil was annoyed by her simple observation. “I need none of that.” “Well, you’re the only God I know who doesn’t appreciate or encourage worship.  Lady Trish has people flocking to her for her for rain-bringing storms, Lord Dante practically has entire battalions marching through his temples, praying for victory.  Even poets and writers make the pilgrimage from miles to beg the gift of inspiration from Lord V-”

“DO NOT SPEAK THAT NAME!”

The roots of the Qliphoth rippled with energy, and he had to control them from jerking.  Just the mention of that cursed name brought back memories that he could not bear. In response to his rage the roots demanded blood, lifeforce, something to sate their ever ravenous hunger.  And they sensed the Priestess, standing there, so weak and vulnerable.  Easy prey.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke apologetically, but refreshingly not with overly emotional supplication.  Just her calm voice, startled at his outburst but without the expected fear, was enough to let his rage subside.  She stood there, unaware how close she was to death, her eyes staring through him.  She still couldn’t see him, of course, he would not allow it, but her steady and firm stance was  unafraid of his wrath.  Perhaps her expecting death in such a short time left her without fear.  

No, he ordered them to stand down, and they reluctantly complied, she has no idea of what she speaks of, he thought, and besides...she still has more use to me alive than dead...for now.

Still, his rage hadn’t truly subsided…did he really need her, another priest that would eventually stab him in the back? “I need no one.” He hissed, his voice sizzled through the temple like a winter’s wind.  “I need no worshippers….I need no priestess.”

And without allowing her to respond, he left, not even looking back.  She would no doubt leave after his outburst...any sane person would.   He was fine with that.

He did not need her.

He did not need anyone.

All He needed was power.

[chunhua-s]

i dunno why but i feel like nearly any conversation with ushijima would be held on the absolute LOWEST level of brain cell

like........ i don’t know how to explain it?? and i can’t come up with a perfect example?? but this thought is in my head and it will not let me go

i dunno i just want to laugh at him sometimes but it’s not in a mean way, it’s like “why are you like this? how do you make me laugh without meaning to???”

oh!!! pause my brain’s working now! here’s the ultimate conclusion:

so you guys will be chilling in the living room or something, just...... on the sofa right? he’s got his legs sprawled out or something, and y’all intentionally got a long sofa because he’s just so damn LONG (i know for a fact y’all got a king side bed so that he has enough leg room). like it’s just a chill day for the both of you so you’re with each other. you’re on the opposite side of the sofa, maybe reading or on your phone or whatever and then he’ll like..... move his foot weird? like maybe he’s wriggling around to get comfy but mans ends up nudging your side on accident, and by nudge i mean he kinda kicks you a lil bit. so you make this odd “guffaaawww” noise and he looks up at you.

ushijima: ???

you: ............

ushijima: aite cool

so he goes back to whatever he was doing

you: so you’re just not gonna ask if i’m alright?

ushijima: you’re acting like i killed you :v

you: so i have to die for you to be concerned about me?

ushijima: are you in pain?

you: yes!! >:v

ushijima: oh. i’m sorry, my legs are too long. i need space and you’re in the way

at this point you’re just.........

so you look him dead in the eye

and throw his damn legs off

he’s not expecting you to just pick him up and manhandle his long ass feet, then swing em off the sofa like two nice bags of rice so he’s just

like “deadass??”

and you keep eye contact as you flatten yourself down further into the sofa, like you’re completely laying down flat on the cushions and stretching your feet as far as you can, then starfish across the width so that he can’t put his feet back anywhere and he’s just looking down at you with an:

ushijima: where am i supposed to put my feet?

you: clearly not here, i need all this space so i can recover from you hitting all the damn air out of my lungs

ushijima: ????? but i didn’t even kick you that hard-

you: yeah your long leg too strong headass wouldn’t know how much pain you put me through just now 😔😤🤚🏽

ushijima:.......

you: and you’re still not gonna apologize????

and he’s dead serious with this:

ushijima: clearly i didn’t kick you hard enough to kill you, you’ll survive

and it’s that :D tone but he’s :|

so you’re like..... grr! so you try and stretch your foot to get his side

and he grabs your foot with his big ass hand and just holds it.

so you try with the other one.... and he uses the next hand and grabs it.

so you’re just.... on your back and this man has both your feet up in the air

you: >:v cuh???

ushijima: :/ you done?

so you get all pouty and you flop back down, he’s still holding your feet and you won’t even try to get yourself free from him cause smh why bother? :,D

then he just.... he uses one hand to hold both your ankles, tilts them out of his way and then he leans over to you and smooches you 🥺

just a lil tiny kith

ushijima: will this make up for that awful injury i gave you earlier?

you:....... gimme another one

so you guys end up cuddling and giving lil kisses ✨ this way he won’t end up kicking you and breaking your ribs again

....... this isn’t what i had in mind when i started writing this but i’m not complaining about it now

[bowandcurtsey]

https://bowandcurtsey.tumblr.com/post/651262866251546624/may-i-request-some-headcanons-about-nozel

Adding Julius into the mix. I don’t know why but I can see this clear as day happening to Julius and Yami back in their Grey Deer days (start watching at 2:32)

Julius in the roll of dad

Julius’s girlfriend

Yami in the roll of the child

THIS IS RLY FUNNY. I love stand up comedies! I spend a lot of time (too much time) watching them ahahaha!! I watched the entire thing tho! hehe. Here goes!!

To every one else, click on the first link to know what request we're doing, I suggest not to open the second link until you finished reading this piece! haha! then open the link and start watching around 2:30 to see the original story!

Julius Novachrono x f! reader ft. Yami Sukehiro

Warnings: Suggested NSFW but no actual ones.

"Hey, the kids are asleep now, do you wanna come over the HQ to hang for abit?" Julius calls you one night, his voice dripping with flirtation. It's been awhile you and your man met, both of you were needy and you both knew it.

You reached in 20 minutes, all dressed up in 'easily accessible' comfort clothes.

The moment you came into his room, both of you didn't even say a single word and started making out.

You were not sure how much time passed or how many rounds you had, but you were exhausted, your legs felt like they had just ran a marathon, your eye lids were dropping.

"Juppy," you called his nickname, "I'm so tired, I can't go home. Can I just crash here?"

"Huh? But you didn't want to make things public yet, right?" Julius looked up at you, pulling up his boxers, "We had this talk baby. We both just ended our old relationship not too long ago."

"yeah Ju," you yawned, barely able to keep your eyes open. "When you wake up tomorrow, put me in the closet first thing. And I'll sneak out when everyone's out on their mission."

The grey deer captain looked at you, barely able to keep yourself awake. You must have been exhausted from a long day of work and you still waited for him. It's 3 hours till dawn now, you'll barely have any rest if you went home anyway.

"okay love," he relented and climbed into bed with you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

------------- the next morning ----------------------

"Oi Julius!" Yami shouted with toast still in his mouth. "I lost my robe, did you see them?"

"No Yami, I didn't see them." Julius was still cooking his eggs and bacon. "You're running late for your mission, better find them fast~"

"Aite aite.. I'll go search for them, or i'll just borrow yours!" he shouted across the hallway.

"Mmmm.." He just hummed a response in reply, it's the usual Yami, he always misplaced his things and took Julius' stuff until someone found whatever that was missing for him.

Few moments later, Yami came down, wearing one of Julius' robe.

"couldn't find mine.. so i'll just have to make do with yours Julius," he said in a low voice

"okay~ have fun!" Julius turn around and faced Yami.

"eh... by the way," Yami scratched his head as he took a puff of his cigarette, "there's a stranger sleeping in your closet."

CRAP.

"Ohh.." Julius' face froze.

"Yeap, just in case you forgot." Yami turned and left.

"Wait, Yami!" Julius called out to him before he left the door. "Just curious, you found a stranger sleeping in my closet and this is your reaction?"

Yami shrugged, "Well, it's your closet, I don't know what happens in your closet." and he left without another word.

Bonus:

As Yami couldn't find his robe anywhere, and he was running late, he decided to just take Julius' robe as he always did.

As he came into Julius' room, he sensed an unfamiliar feint ki.

Someone else is in there. A robber?

He cautiously opened the door, about to draw his katana. The ki was calm and didn't feel scared or intimidating. It was coming from the closet. He slowly opened it.

"Is everyone gone yet Juppy?" you called out and shrieked a little when you saw the man wasn't your boyfriend.

"whoa." Yami jumped upon seeing a girl in nothing but Julius' t-shirt. (you woke up already in the closet and it was dark and you couldn't find your clothes) "Em. sorry for the intrusion but er. I'm just here for Julius' robe."

Yami caught sight of the robe and yanked it from one of the corners so hard that a pile of clothes just fell all over you.

"my bad." the awkward young man pulled a frown on his face, "er. yeah. bye."

He closed the door and quickly walked out of Julius' room.

-end-

Hear me out guys. Young Julius, Young Yami. Just. I can't. What an era to be living in really. smh.

[dbakashojou]

I Like Me Better: Chapter 8: Slow Dance

Angela

The young teen looks out over Sigmar Field and pulls her jacket a little closer around her shoulders. The field, usually filled with the two major soccer teams (the womens and the mens), is filled with an assortment of college students all in various degrees of inebriation. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to come to this party.

It wasn’t like Angela was a prude, she knew how to have fun and she knew that a few drinks were rarely a bad thing, but there is something uncomfortable about the field tonight. Her eyes search the grounds for someone familiar. It’s very likely that she simply feels uncomfortable because she is sticking out like a sore thumb; the only one in her immediate vicinity that isn’t a part of a group.

Across a cluster of Seniors betting on two guys doing handstands, Angela notices Eric hanging around a few guys they went to high school with.

“I didn’t know you were coming to this party,” Angela says as she approaches the group.

“Hey! Ang!” Mike shouts out. “I haven’t seen you in ages, Ang.”

Angela gets pulled into an awkward hug and she thinks Mike tried to kiss her cheek but missed. She’s not entirely sure, but she wouldn’t be surprised if Mike was well into his 3rd cup of beer.

“Hi Mike, Tyler. How are you guys doing? How is basic training?”

“Oh, it’s miserable,” Mike answers with a grin. “I’ve got just this weekend before I go on to AIT and then I’m sent to my base. Not sure where that will be yet, but hey, you gotta live in the present! Am I right or am I right?” The short boy downs what’s left of his drink before crunching the cup in his hand.

“You’re gonna want to loosen your grip there,” Tyler laughs. “You pay for the cup, remember?”

“I’ll buy another!” Mike laughs and throws the cup over his shoulder. “Ang, let me get you a drink.”

He disappears into the crowd before Angela can reply so she turns over to Tyler and gives him a quick, soft hug.

“How about you? What are you doing in Port Angeles?”

“Mike messaged a bunch of us guys saying he’d be in the area,” Tyler shrugs. “I figured it couldn’t hurt to come check up on you guys.”

“We’ve definitely reduced in size,” Eric smiles before taking a sip of his own drink. “I don’t think I’ve spoken to Lauren once since she ran off to NYC.”

Angela nods and adds, “I’ve heard from Jessica a few times, mostly social media updates, but she checks in from time to time with a phone call.”

“How are you liking life in Seattle?” Eric asks Tyler.

“Haha, I mostly stay away from the city but it’s fun to check out the restaurants.”

“I still can’t believe you went to culinary school,” Angela laughs and shakes her head. “When are you going to cook for us?”

Tyler smiles a bit shyly. “You’ll all be invited when I open my first restaurant, don't you worry.”

“Here we go! Skald!” Mike yells as he walks up with three plastic cups full to the brim with frothy beer. He pushes one toward Angela and she grabs it before he’s able to spill it all over her shirt. The second goes to Tyler who isn’t quite as successful at keeping it off his shirt.  

Angela laughs as Mike downs half his cup before anyone else replies.

“Cheers,” Tyler laughs and taps his cup against Angela’s. They smile and both take a long sip.

“So, where’s the Cullen bodyguard?” Mike asks, starting to show a slight slur in his words.

Angela is about to ask what Mike means, when Eric says, “Emmett and Angela broke up near the end of last year, remember?”

Mike flails his hand in the air and shakes his head. “I know, I know, I just figured they’d be back together by now. They’re end game.”

“Right,” Eric says before taking a large gulp. “Angela is actually dating me right now.”

Mike starts laughing very loudly, drawing a few strange glances from the others around them. Unsure what to do, Eric gives Angela a weary look before shrugging.

Keep reading here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29065440/chapters/81029656 or here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13806398/8/I-Like-Me-Better