#again i dont really have a solution to this i just hope they get written with a modicum of three dimensionality

[t4tails]

i do keep things lighthearted while talking about them but it actually is really frustrating how so many of batmans villains have explicit, real world disorders and illnesses that no matter how well their symptoms are portrayed or how sympathetic theyre shown, theyre still villains who go to a fucking asylum when theyre caught. its not realistic to say dc should retire them all as characters and they definitely shouldnt just be rewritten as neurotypical but it does make it feel like so much rogue centered content (canon and fanmade) is covered in this inescapable ableist shroud

[ganondoodle]

seeing all the crazy stuff people build in totk kinda ... it feels like that is also a factor in why it turned out like this, like the insane things people did in botw and the (i keep saying devs when i actually mean the directors .. producers?) directors saw it and build totk just around letting people do it all 100 times more

to be clear, i think its impressive as hell what some people build (i just saw like .. a movie scene with a functioning mech gozilla and tanks made with totks building stuff ... what the fuck) and those things go pretty viral (understandibly so) but i also gotta question

as creative, free, and impressive as it is ... should that have been the focus in a zelda game? like .. is building mechas and tanks like that something that should be in a zelda game? can it be in there without inevitably sacrificing so much else? theres building games just for that? and if you want to make it zelda themed you can make it a spin off?

like i get it, people did crazy things in botw, they saw what people had fun with and dialed it up to a 1000 in totk, which in itself is not bad, even pretty good if you consider gamedevs and feeback and all that bc in general you should embrace what people had fun with in your game even if it wasnt the intent, given that nintendy listens to feedback (perhaps even a bit too much at times) and creative solutions was a central point to botw design philosophy but

i feel like totk kinda .. missed the balance?

if its really a reason why totk is build around enabling that in a purely player centered toy box kind of way without it actually mattering in the story .. or even themes ... was it worth it? not to sound like an oldschool boomer tm but in a franchise that iconic, lore and story focused, should you really abandon nigh all lore/story cohesion just to give the player a big box of toys in a world where i feel that doesnt ,, really belong? in a direct sequel in the same world with the same characters no less? that point is perhaps the biggest issue with it, bc again lots of games even if somwhat a sequel, had strange new tech or things in the world but in all of those cases it was some alternative universe, millenia after the other game, or on an entire different continent; while totk is supposedly just a few years after botw in the very same hyrule

(still doesnt explain the erasing of all shiekah things and replacing it with sonau- tho suddendly revealing the shiekah had actual rockets, wheels with suspension and grenade-launchers, might have been confusing too- you could have enabled the player creativity with shiekah too imo, and personally i would have found it way more fun ... lil guardian leg crawlies ..)

having thought about it feels rather logical why they did it in alot of ways, but also ... totk is build around it, while its also not build around it at all- its build around the PLAYER, not the world, not the story, not the theme, not the character, but YOU (especialyl those that dont realyl care about anythign story or lore stuff and just want to have fun with the gameplay loop, which isnt wrong, but i question whether thats the right kind if player to center in a zelda game .... also not saying all of those that build these crazy things are like that but- ... i hope you know what i mean)

(i know games are always build around the player, or should be, but .. do you get what i mean????? playing in a world that doesnt make sense anymore bc its all a box of toys yeeted into my face isnt fun to me, bc im here not only for gameplay fun but for the world .. theme .. characters, its something that has to be harmonical as a whole for me and totk just .. isnt)

i say it alot but i do really mean it, its very difficult to get my thoughts and feelings written out and to have them come across correctly

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[xcyphoz0a]

Eleutheromania

Gender neutral reader, angst TW/CW: angst, mentions of self afflicted death Character(s): Venti Word count: 848 Proofread: nope | (n) an interest or the irresistible desire for freedom | A/N: vent post + more so dumping my inner feelings from these months written as a will

Sometimes, he thinks every single string of fate cursed him to go through the waves and lengths of grief and desolation.

He can feel the desperation through the scribbled words on the paper.

The feeling of distress, anguish, misery– everything could be felt from the lines of words messily wrote into the paper, drops of ink fading from black to purple in some spaces, noticeable tear drops smudging the ink on the paper.

He wishes to be there– to be in place instead of you, suffering from the continuous torment your own mind had caused you.

Venti knew all too well about pain.

He’d like to think he knows many aspects of the feeling.

All he feels is regret, disappointment, anger, denial.

If he was just there, in that moment before you took your decision, if only he wasn’t somewhere else– perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.

Helplessly staring at the carefully placed shoes on the cliff, he picks them up, holding them close.

What if– he thinks– what if this is just a well placed joke?

He knows it’s only the torture of hope grappling onto his heavy heart, trying to provide him a source of comfort, only for it to fail as he came to the realisation that you weren’t going to be here with him anymore, looking at the stars in the night, taking him from Dawn Winery at the oddest of hours, soothing him to sleep whenever he had nightmares, all the little things that the two of you did, you weren’t going to be there with him anymore.

He could only imagine the tears that you painfully choked up from your body, alone, waiting for someone to help, the uncontrollable shaking that followed from fear and both pain. The desperate feeling for someone or something to alleviate the heavy weight on your chest, unable to breathe.

He knew your want for freedom. It didn’t make sense– the city of Mondstadt was the symbol of freedom.

What was the freedom you were talking about? Was the question that he continuously asked himself whenever you’d mention your desire for freedom.

Now, he knew what it meant. And he wishes so dearly that he was wrong.

He stands on the grassy planes of Starsnatch cliff, hands shaking as he holds your papers containing your will.

Hello, to whoever reads this; I’ll start off with something more light. I was, since I was born, felt a sense of emptiness. I didn’t know until a few years ago that the emptiness was my lack of feeling of freedom. I didn’t know what it meant. You probably don’t understand it either. I live… lived, in Mondstadt. the city of freedom. So why couldn’t I feel that emptiness being fulfilled? I don’t know either. I’ve seeked many solutions, they never worked, so please don’t come asking for my soul why I did what I did. I think my decision was the only solution I had left. Will I regret it? Perhaps. I don’t know. I really dont. But maybe, it is the key for my want of ‘freedom’ to be quenched. So if you’re reading this, I won’t be here anymore, living through memories with whoever you are. I wanted to just, say– perhaps, I wasn’t meant to be in this… body, after all. I want to… put a pause on my life. I didn’t want to bear the thought of waking up and repeating the same routine over and over again, no matter how vastly different it was to each other, I… I just couldn’t. But I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to. I never did. I just wanted to put a pause, like how someone would pause a mechanism and restart it again soon– just like that. I… I just, wanted a break from living. Don’t we all at some point? Haha… I dislike this from getting too long, but I wanted to just convey some of my thoughts, so you can just, throw this away if you’d like, I don’t mind. But still, if you’re reading this part, could you perhaps, not tell anyone? I haven’t… ‘died’, not yet at least, it’s just a pause button on my life, think of it as that, simple, right? This… will be the last few lines of this paper. I think my decision would quench my desire for freedom. I really think it will, don’t grieve. I’ll do what I want to do now. So I did. I did what I wanted to do. Find my own freedom. Goodbye. I’ll see you soon. -(Y/n)

His legs feel numb as he falls onto the ground.

Oh, how he wishes that the ‘I’ll see you soon’ would be real– he’d close and open his eyes, finding your form with him, taking him into your arms.

Venti opens his eyes, finding the stray leaves floating down from the cliff, but you weren’t there.

And all he could do was cry, the suddenness of the surge of emotion scratching the insides of his throat in the burn of anguish and grief.

[haleigh-sloth]

but im a hero stan????? i like the villains sure but i dont care about them. i just think hori wrote the story sometimes in a way that MIGHT maybe fool some ppl into thinking that some of the villains (shigaraki, stain) have something to say abt the corrupted society and could try change it in their own violent ways (no offense but thats how a revolution works) and some of yall go like "yeah no they just wanna die and not do shit" unironically as if ppl not liking it was wrong lol

I'm gonna have to break this down because there is a lot here.

"i just think hori wrote the story sometimes in a way that MIGHT maybe fool some ppl into thinking that some of the villains (shigaraki, stain) have something to say abt the corrupted society and could try change it in their own violent ways (no offense but thats how a revolution works)"

The story didn't fool anybody. It was our wishful thinking. I can very honestly look back at the manga and see that, nowhere in the text does it imply that the villains are seeking any actual change. Tomura has the right reasons for his anger, but he has not once channeled it into a productive outcome (AFO has a lot to do with this). His first goal was to just...KILL All Might?? And he attacked a high school to do this, with the intention of killing the kids. Already, right off the bat, you know that this character is not thinking in terms of solutions, just in terms of anger (justified anger). I'm sorry but it's not on Horikoshi that people took that as an attempt to reform shit.

You bring up that violence is often involved in revolutions, and you are right. But comparing this:

to a revolution geared toward accomplishing something is just, wildly off the mark. No offense to you, but just opting to kill everybody is NOT how a revolution works, actually. The comparison is not good, so I'm really not going to even dwell on that little comment because it's not worth the discussion.

I can get where there might have been some inkling of hope for a reformative idea on the League's part, and I can't deny I was in that bandwagon too. But when I became frustrated with the manga not focusing on the League that way, I had to readjust my reading. And it was not hard to see that it was just MY wishful thinking. Because that's exactly what it was.

I think a lot of people really forgot this scene in chapter 222. Or like, they discount it as irrelevant now. But no, this scene onward has embodied Tomura's entire character.

"Destroy. It. All."

Look, I've also participated in the "the League are the protagonists of the story" shit too. But again, wishful thinking. They are not the protags, and when they kill and destroy, they are never framed in a positive light. The only time they are framed as the protags is during MVA, when they are attacked and are fighting for survival. And I mean, Tomura winning the fight against ReDestro was a technical win, but for his development as a person it was very detrimental to him in so many ways. They were the protags of that arc, but that arc was so much negative development for them, which should be very telling about what their positions in the story are.

The closest they've gotten to a "revolution" type of reaction was the heteromorph riots--and even then they were written to attack a hospital full of patients and hospital staff trying to help people. So again, their actions can't be backed up and it wasn't portrayed as a solution to literally anything.

"and some of yall go like "yeah no they just wanna die and not do shit" unironically as if ppl not liking it was wrong lol"

Sorry but this is like, exactly how they've been written from the get go. Maybe you don't particularly care, but the villain fandom doesn't want to grasp this.

It isn't ironic because literally--that's who they are.

Do I even need to point out that Touya is canonically suicidal? How is Touya supposed to reform anything if he's dead lmao. There is no valid explanation to somehow twist his actions into something that produces a solution.

Again, it's not about whether people like it or not. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that parroting the very safe criticism of "it's bad writing" is just lazy. It rids people of acknowledging that they either misinterpreted the text, got lost in headcanons, or straight up just don't like that it didn't go the way they wanted--which is a frustrating thing to admit, so everyone just resorts to "omg bad writing".

It's not bad writing for NOT delivering on shit that was never promised.

[voidwritesstuff]

Savior of lost hope AU.

->chapter 5. End.

Cw: mentions of stabbing, needles,violence and guns.

Summary: after hearing the warning of his shadow form, Lucas realizes he has little time to save his best friend and those he loves.

--Hey Rose! Im getting groceries-- Said Jerico, grabbing her Wallet.

--Kay! Be carefull kid-- said rosemary, checking to see if the solution she was working on was actually being processed by the machine.-- the serum should be done when you come back

She doesnt see jeri enter the room where the rest were,unconcious-- are you sure that Will work?

-- 99.99% sure!-- she replied.

The 00.01% that it didnt work wasnt much per se but it didnt calm jeri. When Rose turns to take a break, she sees Jerico wearing Lucas' lucky flannel. Its deep green and it smells like him.-- look I know this looks weird- I miss him okay? Its been like three days now

Rosemary smiles and shakes her head-- I dont care, im sure he would want you to have it. You look good

--Thanks-- she says meekly, shoving her hands on the pocket of the flannel, that hung Open, showing off a yellow tube top-- im gonna go now

--Go, then-- Rose leaned back and closed her eyes.

--Will do! Bye rose!-- she walks out of the cabin,leaving the scientist alone.

The chill in the air bites at her skin, leaves fall on the ground Gently with the breeze. She underestimated just how cold it was. She holds on to the flannel and sighs.

"How long Will they take to get back?" She thinks,her feet dragging across the beaten path towards the actual town. "I hope hes okay"

Once at the supermaket, she goes through the list Rose gave her. She puts the things in the shopping Cart, humming along to a l

Mindless tune. Distracted and in her own little world, its nice.

As she continues her little sidequest, her hands dig into the pocket to pull out the list again, and she notices that theres another piece of paper on one of the pockets.

Its crumpled, and it looks like a scrap piece of paper but she unfolds it just in case. Theres a short letter written there, and she recognizes the handwriting, its Lucas'.

Jerico hesitates for a moment,should she read it?was this intruding?

Curiosity picked at the back of her mind. So,with a sigh she goes somewhere quiet in the supermaket before Reading it.

"The doc always said its good to Keep a Journal of sorts,write down whats bothering you to help you Express it or 'get it out'.

Well, this is my attempt.

I met a girl the other day, she was- just so pretty, she was also very funny and sweet.

She had these big green eyes (my favorite color) and such a bright smile.

It slipped past me to ask her for a number or an email, damn my brain.

I,of course, was so awkward. Like Jesus fucking christ,Lucas cole. When was the last time I spoke to a woman?

Thank GOD she found it endearing, I dont know what I wouldve done if she looked at me weird.

But I dont think shes into me, I mean I have my looks yes but c'mon, would she really go out with me?

Christ, that sounds so cheesy. What am I, a highschooler?

Fuck this note. Im throwing it away".

Jeri giggled,her cheeks dusted pink. She folds the note carefully and puts it back in the pocket. -- dont worry Lucas, im so into you-- she murmurs before resuming what she was doing.

After dropping off the groceries, she goes by the lighthouse to check in on zoe, Allens adoptive sister. She knocks on the door as the Sky starts to cloud, the greyish light makes the world seem a little dull.

--Oh, jer. Hi-- Said Zoe,opening the door of Allen's house.

--Hey Z, how are you?

--Im uh...okay-- she replied-- just a lil paranoid.

-- did something happen?

Zoe looks around, a little afraid-- I think im seeing men in suits around- like the ones Allen saw. I think they are looking for him.

--Oh crap-- she murmurs-- wanna come over to the cabin im babysitting?

--Allen told me about the cabin yeah. He actually knows the owner I think. Lucas is it?

Jeri smiles-- yeup. Lucas

Zoe nodds-- ill - ill go get some stuff

She waits for a few minutes until her friend is done. The shore Ebbs and flows, seagulls fly past the lighthouse and out of view in the greying Sky, the wind picks up a little.

Jerico cant help but get her eyes lost on the sea, coming and going from the shore, its peacefull. Honestly,things have been a little boring, shes been doing university assigments while she waits with rosemary, on some days she sits by Lucas and just draws him, maybe its a little creepy but she meant well.

--There,all set-- Says zoe, gripping her fluffy dark blue jacket.

--Is that Allens?--Jeri asked as both walked-- I mean you have pretty similar styles but I think it looks like it fits Allen more

The other woman shrugs--We share it. But It smells like him-- both walk back to the cabin in quiet, comfortable chatter.

Meanwhile, rosemary finishes with the solution. She puts the four vials on a stand, away from the sun, she sips from her coffee and looks at the radio equipment. -- How Much of this shit do you have, cole?-- she asks to herself.

Then she hears steps, but she pays them no mind-- hey kid! Did you bring zoe along?

Crash! Comes down the wooden door, before rosemary can do anything theres at least four guys with guns come over. She barely has any time to throw one of the spare hand held radios out a nearby Window,she hoping to god it doesnt break.

--Doctor Rosemary James-- Say one of the men, tall and muscly, Brown hair and eyes hid behind thick framed sunglasses.

--Seargeant Mark White. -- she growls out, rsching for the main radio, and trying her best turn it off by flipping the on/off button without being noticed. Thankfully, she isnt noticed.

-- Thought we Killed you

--Yeah well, I got better-- she raises her hands.

--It was that hippie wasnt it? He saved your ass and helped Max escape from where we had him

--Guilty-- she replied with a smirk-- youre going to kill me now?

Mark chuckled-- im going to do something worse, im going to wait until your little troop wakes up and take 'em to a lab. You mightve found a way to explore people's subconcious.

--Using my research without credit? Typical of you mayer cunts-- she bit back.

--If it aint broke...-- Mark snarked-- now stay very still -- he takes her cup of coffee and drinks it-- hm,not bad

Rosemary wished that coffee had cyanide in it. She sits back with her hands up and growls a sigh, now they were in big fucking trouble.

--You know...-- she grinned-- for working on a pharmaceutical company you sure dont like needless

The seargeant tenses-- Rosemary...-- he warns.

--What is it? The pain or the sight of the needle in your arm?-- she leaned with malice.

--Stop that right now!-- he yelled,body stiff and hands Clammy.

--fucking idiot-- she whispers-- ill kill you with a needle one of these days.

Jerico and zoe come across some suspicious looking vehicles. -- Military vehicles -- jeri says.

--Howd you know?

-- Well..I always loved military stuff. After my date with Lucas I took an even bigger interest in it. But what the hell are they doing here? -- she asks-- I think its better if we go behind the cabin. I dont trust it

--A-Alright--zoe replied,following her friend alone as both sneak around the cabin, squatting down past any and all Windows.

They come across the radio on the floor, jeri sighs and slowly picks it up, walking back to the forest and out of sight with Z.

-- Do you see anything?-- jerico asked at Zoe, who had binoculars, originally she was supposed to use them for bird watching, not looking for goverment agents.

--Uh..yeah-- zoe replied,not too enthusiastically-- I see four guys, one of them is talking to a woman with glasses

--Rosemary -- the other woman whispered-- oh god of course,thats why the radio was where it was...

Jer turns on the radio, fiddling with the turning until she finds the frequency they were using to communicate with the Group in desmonds head.

--Radioman! Radioman do you read?!-- Came the voice from Lucas' radio, he sighs in relief.

--Ten-four Sunflower. Whats your stat?!-- he asked.

--Safe, outside the cabin. Four men are in though, they have rosemary

"Oh shit oh crap oh shit" he thinks-- Sunflower is this frequency compromised?

--Negative. Z tells me the main radio equipment is Turned off.

--Oh thank god-- Lucas exclaimed,before becoming extremely serious-- jerico, you need to hear me. Stay out of the cabin and out of sight. Do not engage.

--But Rose-- she protested.

--Rose- Angel has this covered im sure, you two need to stay safe,Mayer does not fuck around with things like this. We barely survived retriving Max from where he was locked up. Do not engage, you heard me?--She hesistates, she doesnt reply-- Sierra-Foxtrot, you hear me?

She sighs-- ten-four. Over and out

The line cuts and Lucas has to trie his best not to blow his lid off. --Goddamn motherfuckers! They have rosemary! Those mayer cunts! -- he kicks the round table at the centre of the room.

--Woah easy!-- says Allen, holding back Lucas-- we gotta concentrate on this okay? We get desmond out of here and we can help the others

The ex soldier breathes in deep, trying to calm himself before he breaks something. -- yer right, lets get this damn thing over with

The four of them walk back to the Office, bracing for the worst. That ink demon Agent Rainbow wont like this at all, too bad.

Once at the Office, Lucas steps infront of the Group and calls out-- Desmond! Where are ya buddy?

Wings flap heavily, desmond comes from behind one of the bookshelves-- oh Lucas,hello everyone. Did you make yourselves at home?-- he lands on the floor silently, he clasps his arms behind his back.

--Something like that-- the ex soldier replied-- we uh...found something, virge?

Virginia nodds and approaches desmond,showing Him the magenta key. They see a long magenta chain come from his right wrist up to the ceiling where it gets lost in the mild darkness.

--I think we can set you free with this! -- she squealed.

They see their therapist hesistate, but Tonia nuzzles his hand where the chain comes from and purrs.

--Will it hurt?-- is all he asks while approaching her.

--Ill try for it not to-- she replied as he offered his hand. The shackle starts at his wrist, it looks heavy-- alright...here it goes-- she slides the key into the keyhole and turns.

The shackle opens with a soft click and falls to the ground,shattering like glass-- I dont feel any dif-- desmond says before the eyes in his mask go wide, he stumbles and barely catches himself.

"Virginia Ruhl, 25. My patient...but- she died didnt she?" Memories come flowing to him,his sessions with her, her diagnosis.

--You were supposed to be dead-- he starts, grabbing her hands-- but how- why?

Virginia smiles-- I got rushed into the hospital and survived by the skin of my teeth. Im better now,see?-- she lowers her turtleneck where a big scar spanned across her neck.-- did it hurt?

Desmond shakes his head and takes a Seat on his desk, his wings fold and rest on the surface of the desk.-- Do you want to Keep going?-- asked Allen, key in hand.

--Alright-- says the other Man, seeing the Next shackle on the same arm the previous was on. But this New one, a deep blue, grips his bicep.

Allen Is carefull through the whole process, humming softly to try and calm his friend. The shackle falls and melts like wax under the sun.

Desmond braces himself for the memories that come flooding like a feral tide. "Allen shore- 33. He was comatose-- burnt"

--The Fire-- he says-- are you okay?

Allen shrugs with a smile-- Im fine doc, just some scars. I made a full recovery-- he shakes off his jacket and shows his scarred arm.-- kinda knargly but kinda cool.

The therapist chuckles-- Hmm, I agree.

Max feels unconfortable as it was his turn, he walks awkwardly towards the Man and takes his wrist-- uh hi doc

-- Hello Max-- he sounds very warm and happy to see him.

The shackle is an angry red, warm to the touch. Hes not very gentle but efficent, he unlocks the shackle that burns off and hits the desk but it doesnt hurt anybody.

Once again,the memories come "Max nygaard. 40s. He dissapeared- didnt he?"

--You didnt come to our last appointment-- desmond recalls.

Max sighs,scratching the back of his neck-- mayer locked me up, the hippie- Lucas broke me out with rosemary

--No scar to show for it?-- des Joked which defuses the tension a little.

--sadly, no-- he admits with a chuckle.

Then,comes Lucas who looks very on edge and anxious, desmond looks at him-- dont worry doc -- he lies-- just anxious thats all

The other Man doesnt Belive him but makes no complaints as the last shackle,a forest green, is unlocked. Its gone in a flash of light.

"Lucas Cole, 55. Ex soldier"

--What has you so nervous, Lucas?--Asked desmond.

--We gotta get you out of here, Rosemary is in danger and--He looks away.

--You can tell me anything,lucas-- Des reminded him Gently.

The ex soldier sighs audibly-- Jerico might be in danger... please try and make an effort doc. I couldndt forgive myself if anything happened to her...or Rose

Desmond looks confused-- did I miss something?

Lucas goes beet red --I took her out on a date- I have a crush on her

--Thats wonderfull. Lucas-- says the other Man.-- ill try my best for you two

--Well..I think its time for your key,doc--Says Allen-- where can it be?

They hear a crash as tonia knocks down the record player and a white key comes falling from it. The cat carries it to her owner and drops it on his lap.

--Can you do it?-- Asks Lucas.

--I-I think so

Desmond grips the key tight, around his neck is a Pristine white shackle, and with shaky hands he unlocks it. The shackle seems to break by bits, each peice falling like a feather Being shed by a bird,when the "feathers" lake contact with anything they burn and turn black,to then become dust that blows away without any breeze.

And so,the memories flod in, he remembers who he is,how he got here,the struggles and battles he had, the grief of what happened to tonia, how his wife had left him.

For a moment it overwhelms him, tears fall down his masked face. The eyes on the mask turn grey.

Virginia goes to hug desmond, but notices theres a clasp on the mask. She Gently unclasps it and sets it on the desk.

His face is just as they all remember, but stained with rainbow colored oil. Virginia hugs him as his tears wash away the stains which seem to fade out of existence.

Allen comes Next and hugs him tight, cooing and trying to calm him down. He also watches as tonia takes the white key from her owner,she opens a cabinet on the desk and she pulls it back with her snout.

--Here,doc-- said Lucas, as he grabs his iconic round glasses and hands it over.

The embrace gets broken as with a shaky sigh, desmond graba them and puts it on.

--Looking good!-- Complimented Virginia with a smile,patting her back.

Lucas nodds in agreement-- not to be insensible,doc. But do you remember how you got here? Is there anyway to get out?

--Well...-- Des starts,trying to regain his composture-- I was battling with my shadow, then-- I thought I won but my Real body was so weak I had enough strength to Keep me alive, not even fully awake. I guess at some point he-- he got a hold on me and I was so weak I couldnt fight back

Its obvious its a struggle for him to talk, his voice breaks, he stumbles over his words and his body shakes. Virginia tries to sooth him by stroking his back and encouraging him to talk.

--As to how to get out...--A gravelly voice comes from behind desmond. The great library behind the desk goes pitch black, two red eyes appear in the darkness-- theres no way out...I doubt Desmond has any strength to battle me...too bad.

Allen grips his fists and for the first time everyone sees just how angry he could get. He grabs the mask and chucks it at one of the eyes-- You GODDAMN asshole! Leave that Man alone! Hes the greatest Man ive met! Hes kind and good hearted! You have nothing on him!

The mask hits one of the eyes and the voice growls a painfull screech. Then out of the darkness two goopy hands Grab the side of a materializing face of agent rainbow. The hands hold him back as he tries to attack Allen.

--What the hell-- said agent rainbow-- How did you- youre his shadow ,dimwit! You shouldnt help him!  kill him!

Allen sees for a sliver of a moment as his shadow form simply smiles at his counterpart. Virginia seems to catch on and she steps in-- Yeah! Allen is right! Desmond has always tried his best to help us all! He didnt fail! Hes tried to help everyone! Its about time somebody helps him.

Another set of hands come from the other side of the face, purple and glimmering like broken glass, lines span across the clawy fingers and arms. Forcing Open one of Agent Rainbow's eyes.

Then,comes Max,who steps infront of his two companions and his therapist-- If theres something I know from the doc here is that he was able to help even with the toughest of cases! You May think of yourself all high n mighty! But youre not! Youre just another goverment Spook!

Fiery hands Open the other eye, they hear the rumbling of an engine. Max feels very proud of himself.

And then,theres Lucas.

With rage in his eyes, losing his calm and collected cover, he stands by Max with anger in his eyes, grief is in his heart as he remembers all the things hes lost, his best friend, himself. And then comes the happiness, New Friends, a New home and someone to love.

--desmond Will never be alone,hes one of us-- he makes a pause-- I  think its time you see what shadow you cast!-- he yells.

His own shadow grows and grows to be at eye level with Agent Rainbow. And from the centre of the head theres a Giant light that burns right into the red eyes, desmond's shadow form screams in agony,shattering the Windows.

In a flash of bright white light their enemy is gone, now Turned into feathers that are blown away with the wind.

Desmond hisses as his own wings burn off, he was back to normal.

And where Agent Rainbow was, the bookshelves turn into a Giant door with warm sunlight coming from it.

Tonia purrs as she returns to a normal sized cat. She jumps on desmonds lap and he pets her--Ill miss you,old friend.

But noticing how nervous Lucas was, he sets the cat down and they all walk to the door, led by tonia,of course.

--They do say cats were protectors-- Virginia Recalled with a smile. The cat seems to agree as it nodds and purrs.

They let desmond go into the door first, and then,they follow suit.

Meanwhile....

Jerico gasps as Mark slaps rosemary across the face, she hears him yell something about what the serum was for.

--Shit! The serum!.-- she gasps,trying to turn on the radio-- Radioman! This is sunflower. Whats your situation.--Theres a brief silence, and then garbled words--Lucas! I cant hear you!

--Savior acquired. I repeat Delta Whiskey acquired-- require- eVac--

--oh shit oh shit--She murmurs.-- we gotta wake em up

Zoe looks at the binoculars-- one of the guys is coming this way...

Jeri looks up and sees it-- he has no helmet...if I can hit him with a rock we can take him out.-- her eyes look around for any big rock. It takes her a few seconds to find one-- alright then... please please PLEASE I hope Lucas aim rubbed off on me.

She takes a deep shaky breath and chucks it at the suit before zoe can say anything. The rock flies like a missile and hits the soldier square in the forehead. He falls with a quiet thud that was probably drowned by marks screaming at rosemary.

--jesus!--zoe exclaims-- a heads up???

--Sorry...-- she says meekly-- lets see what he has-- she offers-- we cant leave rosemary there

--But Lucas said-- she starts.

--I know. Hes not gonna like it-- her eyes turn to see rosemary grabbing the serum and being forced to wake up the others. Mark screams something about how rosemary Turned off the main radio-- shit- I think they heard Lucas' evac request-- she turns to her friend-- you can stay but im going

Zoe looks at her friend and shakes her head, mustering all the courage she had-- Allens in there! If Allen went to save those in SS thanatos then I can help him!

--Atta girl--jerico says, And both sneak to the unconcious soldier. She grabs his combat Knife, its heavy and sharp.

--What about the gun?-- zoe asked.

-- you know how to Fire em?

--No clue,you?

She shakes his head-- throw it away, just in case he wakes up.

Z looks at the purple bruise in the guys forehead-- right between the eyes, I dont think hes waking up for a while-- still, she carefully grabs the gun and throws it away

Both sneak near the cabin, anotjer of the guys comes out,probably to check on his buddy. Once hes lut of the cabin, he looks around.

As quiet as she can be, jeri slashes across the back of his knee,making Him fall. Zoe muffled him with her big jacket And holds it until hes passed out.-- sorry!--both mumble.

Then, into the cabin they go. They go down the Hall to where Rose's lab was, the livingroom.

--Looks like the commander dude is outside?--jeri whispers in zoes ear.

--Maybe he doesnt like needles?

--Hurry up rosemary!--Mark yelled, looking at the radio.

--if the needle breaks they die!--Rosemary shouted.

Jerico takes a deep breath, slowly sneaking behind Mark, shes about to stab his back when the Man hears a thud from the room rosemary and the rest of the guys where.

Rosemary first injected the serum to Lucas,who "happened" to be the one closes to her. Then once she had given the serum to almost all of them, she says.

--Hey, can you illuminate here? Youre blocking the light-- she asked

The soldier noticed he was blocking the light, so he pulls out his flashlight and once Rose is done,she stabs the guy with the empty needle,right in the neck. The guy holds his neck and falls back.

The thud makes mark turn and see jerico. He grabs her with ease,disarms her and pulls her to the room with rosemary, she raises her hands with fear in her eyes. Hes about to strike when--

--if ya touch one hair on 'er purdy hair-- Lucas yells, gun in hand. Mark notices its the service weapon of the soldier that rosemary took out. He steps infront of Jerico, hes still a little woozy but his aim was impecable.

Mark steps back as the other Man stares at him with solid,unfiltered rage. -- well played-- he grumbles.

Lucas noticed zoe standing there,frozen-- Kiddo, cuff this fucker

Zoe steps to Mark and grabs his cuffs, doing her best as Rose steps in and unarms the seargeant. Only once Rose knocks Mark out does the ex soldier Lower the gun.

--Did it work?-- Rose asked before hearing desmond grumble and Allen and Max helping Him stand up-- ill go check on him-- she makes eye contact with her radioman friend. She looks serious as if she was urging him to do something.

Lucas only nodds as rosemary runs past him to help desmond. He leaves the gun on a table nearby and before jerico can say anything, he grabs her by the neck of his- her flannel and kisses her with all the strength his body allowed.

She kisses back,tugging at his tanktop and smiling. His arms go around her waist and hers around his neck.

--i told you nothing would hurt you while I was around. Awake or otherwise

Jeri smiles and presses her forehead against his, closing her eyes-- that you did. Welcome back-- he hugs her tight, stroking the shaven back of her neck.

--'m here honey. 'M here-- he whispers as she melts against him. His breath is shaky-- desmonds here too

They turn to the room and see their Friends smiling, then they cheer and Holler at them.

--Thats it hippie!--Max yelled,smugly.

--Thats It!the ship has reached shore!--Allen yelled clapping.

--Love wins! Long live the happy couple-- Virginia hollers.

Rosemary meets the ex soldiers eyes and chuckles-- guess youre right, cole. You never miss a shot

Jerico hid her face on Lucas' chest while he chuckles-- leave the young thing alone, lets make sure the docs alright

For the Next few hours they dispose of the soldiers (meaning they tie them up and throw them on the back of their vehicles for the police to find). Mark would wake up with one note on his chest"try anything and youll see what a war veteran can do. I never miss a shot".

Rosemary and Allen tend to Desmond,Max has left to see maddie and Virginia is talking with zoe,calming her down and telling her what happened.

Lucas takes jerico to the makeshift balcony on his roof. He holds her to his chest in silence, she hugs him like her life depends on it-- stay the night tonight -- he says.

--sounds good-- she agrees.

--I didnt forget about our date-- he reminds her with a smile-- im gonna getcha all the plushies ya want -- he pulls back a little and strokes her cheek.

--I look forward to it-- she admitted. Then she goes quiet and after a bit she adds-- you know theyll come for us,especially since they know Rose made an antidote

Lucas squeezed her-- I know. But were a team now, and we'll take mayer down. No harm Will come to you as Long as im around

She nodds and both enjoy the falling leaves and the breeze. Finally calm settles within them all, and that night they sit and have dinner under the stars.

Zoe and maddie make bracelets with Allen, desmond plays the guitar as Lucas accompanies him with his drums. Max simply looks at his daughter with joy and pride.

Rose has jerico laying her head on her lap-- you did great today -- the scientist said.

--Thanks. I hated it

Both laugh and rosemary adds-- you make Lucas happy, and he makes you happy. You both Will go a long way

-- I hope so. Im afraid of mayer though

Rosemary shrugs-- I think their pride is wounded. I dont think theyll make a move so fast. 'Sides we'll worry about it later -- he sees Lucas waves at her and she adds-- Lucas wants you on the vocals

Jerico nodds and stands up, walking towards Lucas and desmond, grabbing the mic the ex soldier had set up. The music starts and the others look at the source of it.

And so, she starts singing-- Don't look to me, I ain't right

And I don't know enough, but how much do I want to know?

It's perfectly clear, I'm where I should be, yeah

Off the wall and back to reality, dare I say

Oh, my thoughts are burning

And I like how warm the fire can be

Oh, oh is my body turning?

And my legs seem to move without me

Oh, here comes the savior

Who can break these thoughts away from me?

Oh, no more bad behavior

Screw my head on right for a moderate fee

[sunset-synthetica]

Hi, cybersleeve anon here! I hope you don’t mind, but I have more meta and criticisms I’d like to talk about

Something that’s been bothering me about Earthspark is the way that everybody (in show and out) is acting like it’s ONLY Optimus’s responsibility to work towards peace. They say he’s just locking Decepticons up without a second thought, but that isn’t true as in the VERY FIRST EPISODE we see him calmly approaching Swindle and Hardtop and asking them to surrender, promising a peaceful life, and only attacks after they fire the first shot. Yeah he doesn’t offer the same to the cassettes and seekers, but they were ACTIVE threats, the cassettes running around and wreaking havoc and the seekers shooting at humans. And it’s so frustrating they way everyone is acting like Optimus keeps dismissing the Cons and refusing to consider their point of view, but he IS trying!!! It’s just that communication is a two-way street, and that Optimus isn’t fucking responsible for everybody else and their actions!!! If nobody ever brings up their grievances with him (and he’s made it clear he’ll be willing to listen) how the fuck is he supposed to help???

And don’t even fucking get me started on Megatron. Yes, he did protest Optimus attacking the cassettes, but doing so while Optimus is being actively shot at is NOT the time to do so. And then he complains about the restraining devices, which COULD be fair, but why is it only those? We’ve seen stasis cuffs before in other continuities, and restrained prisoners like with Warp and Nova Storm, and he didn’t protest. So why was he suddenly uncomfortable???

It honestly feels like Megatron is too cowardly to own up to his actions. Warp and Novastorm were cool, because HE didn’t restrain them, but when it came to the cassettes, he was suddenly uncomfortable with taking a more active role. If he truly was a better person, he should have voiced that, and genuinely worked for better treatment.

And here we can circle back to my first point, and acknowledge the fact that everyone is pushing a responsibility onto Optimus that should be MEGATRON’S. The Decepticons are HIS soldiers, HE was in charge of commanding and protecting them, but he hasn’t really done anything to help them. Megatron should be their voice, Megatron should be advocating for them, Megatron should be acknowledging his fucking responsibility towards them and ensuring that his soldiers understand his actions and that they can work to a peaceful solution. It isn’t OPTIMUS’S job to care for MEGATRON’S army. But this seems to be a pattern in fandom and shows, where everybody treats Optimus like some omniscient demigod who is personally responsible for protecting the feelings of every single other fucking person. He does have responsibilities to his soldiers, and he fulfills those to the very best of his abilities. But Megatron gets off scot-free, nobody ever pointing out how Megatron deserted his faction and got to live a free and happy life, and everyone else locked up. It’s just so frustrating, because everybody treats Optimus as if him making one mistake like accidentally raising his voice will cause the world to collapse, while they treat Megatron like a person, and a very privileged one who is completely above the law at that.

(Previous anon who asked if their ask got deleted lol. Luckily I drafted it elsewhere in case Tumblr fucked up while I was writing, so I hope you dont mind me sending it again!)

Yeah it's just. Fucking tiring. Megatron gets treated like a hero overcoming his past mistakes (genocide) (working with fucking Shockwave. a eugenecist???) and is so brave for speaking up against GHOST without soing a single thing to actually challenge them. "They abuse my Decepticons" boohoo bitch you abuse Starscream.

Optimus is, on the other hand, the Bad Guy and solely responsible for the Decepticons apparently.

If Earthspark were competently written, we could have gotten the same dynamic but from a different, more realistic and complex angle. But alas.

[lone-nyctophile]

Hello there, i hope you are doing well and having a lovely morning, evening or night! <3

im 19, i know i have years ahead of me to explore romantic love. Currently, i am just focusing on myself and falling in love with life. It’s been good for a while.

but these days, it feels like maybe i am not meant for romantic love. my last relationship was of five years, and outside of that, some platonic relationships also changed me. It’s become really hard for me to trust people and their intentions. trust if they will stay or eventually leave me.

i did start liking someone, but they moved away to another city. we talk, rarely. they probably do not reciprocate the feelings and it is okay.

somedays i think to myself that these past experiences do not define my future. and somedays i get scared thinking that i will probably die alone. lol

Do you have any advice on how to stop this scary feeling that is gradually creeping up into my mind? i think it will hamper my healing process.

or another way to put up this question,

how to refocus on the love that already surrounds me? when my former partner recently told me that they are in a new relationship now.

thank you for listening, lots of love and light to you and your blog<3

Hello anon!

Well, these feelings are not unusual, especially after the breaking of a five year relationship.

Based on what you've written, I think you're apprehending the possibility of being romantically lonely in the future due to what recently happened with you. I dont want to tell you to stop thinking about it because it would just mean conscious repression of what your feeling which is definitely not a right solution because it will show up in some way later on.

Instead, it would be better if you address what exactly you're feeling now, ponder upon it and try to find out what is that common factor/factors in your relationships (romantic and platonic ones you mentioned) which might be making you feel this way by trying to gain an insight on them. I'll show you a method to facilitate this process-

Start slowly...first focus on the positives of each relationship, gradually move on to the neutral aspects and then finally to the more challenging parts (you can also talk to other people involved in your relationships to find out about the above)

If you're able to find the common factor/factors, then try looking at them in a rational way and what you both could have done to improve those aspects. Now most importantly, try learning from this and to give yourself some sort of assurance, think about a hypothetical relationship with similar challenges, come up with solutions, and imagine that this hypothetical relationship has become healthy now. I'm sure some of your fear about you messing up your future relations will recede!

As for not currently finding a relationship, darling you're young with so many years ahead of you. Life is a long journey and I'm certain that someone will come along as a partner!! You just need to wait for a while. Also yeah, I know it's not easy to see your former partner get into a new relationship but maybe there's someone better waiting for you.

Another advise I would like to give you is talk with people who are close with you (like your best friend, sibling, etc.) because trust me on this, it really helps.

To focus on your existing relationships, try making them stronger by maybe spending quality time, doing activities which are of mutual interest, give little gifts which hold genuine feelings, or just anything which you think would make the bond stronger. It will give you a sense of contentment and fulfillment.

Thank you for writing to me and for the wishes. If you want talk again, my door will always be open😊 I really hope this helped you in some way and that you feel better soon!!

[pencilscratchins]

Have you watched the first episode of Strange New Worlds yet? I wanna know your thoughts

THANK YOU FOR THE OPPURTUNITY, DISTINGUISHED PANEL OF JUDGES (spoilers, seriously do not read if you havent watched it! its so good, you should do it unsullied)

okay so first and foremost: i fucking loved it. it was the best live action pilot of a star trek show since DS9- i thought the writing was so fun and energetic, and the characters/ cast are POPPING off the screen. im so excited for this season, i think its going to be a return to form in a lot of ways and i think that'll be a breath of fresh air. (i know some people are sad SNW doesn't seem to be taking risks, format wise, and you know; i like that picard and disco did something new and broke the serial mold that DS9 cracked for them. but i also love episodic television and i think having SNW be episodic functions as a great connective tissue between DISCO and TOS!)

the cast is FUCKING STELLAR!!!!! THEYRE SO GOOD! we know i love ethan & anton & rebecca's takes already, but what little we got of everyone else has me DROOLING. also im in love with ortegas already so. lesbian me, confirmed. (also set design & lighting is so much better than disco... holy shit)

i also loved the choice to open with a mission that the Red Angel incident caused; i think its a great way to introduce how that situation is still heavily affecting both pike AND spock, as well as how Starfleet was clearly not equipped for that level of conflict and now have to grow as well.

now... that's not to say i don't have critiques. because obviously, im not pleased with the spock/ t'pring stuff. i don't like how either character was written in their interactions and i think their scenes weaken the relationship we see in TOS. i know im a gay spock truther and people love to give me shit about that, (which you know... is another issue we wont get into here) but setting my personal spock truth aside; it was still a weak choice. i think tpring and spock work best when presented as foils and peers who are forced into a bad situation. the way they both get OUT of that situation (their engagement) is what defines both them and the fundamental difference b/w vulcans & humans: tpring functions within the traditional system to dissolve their union, as where spock breaks form completely and creates a new solution. framing their relationship like they did in the pilot weakens that decision on a whole. (& im not someone whos like "oh you have to stay totally adherent to established canon!" either but these interactions also felt out place when compared to how t'pol's engagement went? or is that just me?)

however, im also holding judgement. because i think one way to interpret this spock trying to follow michael's final advice (yeah yeah i have michael brain rot, sue me i dont care.) in spock's head, tpring IS the person farthest from him (she, again, represents the archetypical vulcan and everything about that society that he doesn't fit- and, they don't really like each other. they were forced together, they did not chose this.) this is spock reaching out, trying his damnest to respect what his sister wanted for him, even though she meant something totally different (canonically, or metacanonically at least, she was talking about kirk-) so it could very much crumble into the relationship we see between tpring and spock in TOS.

regardless, i like how spock was written outside these scenes and you can tell ethan loves playing him. and the tpring actress is really serving, i hope she gets more outside of spock! uhura is already a delight, i cannot wait to dive more into her and see what celia does because theyre so talented; i love la'an's voice and presence and i can't wait for her and #1 to have scenes together! pike is so charming and well written and i love how he interacts with his crew. chapel is deranged and i love that choice, m'benga is such a good CMO. i am so pleased with this episode, i really am!

oh also this is a sam kirk stan blog now. called it, i called it SO HARD. AGAIN I CALLED IT AGAIN--

[kingdarkstalker]

this is a weird ask but hear me out. since i was a kid i've loved Warriors. i'm an adult now and just finished WOF. my dream is to write something like these series. before your blog i NEVER noticed anything wrong w WOF. now i'm concerned - what if despite my best efforts, instead of an inspiring series that carries the right messages, i fuck up like her? my real question: what would you have tui do to rectify the situation? genuinely, not devil's advocate. what is the solution? if you don't think there is one: what is your goal? to get people thinking about the themes she glossed over since she failed?

aah, to answer your first concern, its an understandable and heathly thing to worry about. you nor i definitely dont want to accidentally write something like tui sutherland, but the good news its actually quite easy to avoid writing like tui. do thourough research on whatever sensitive topic you're writing about if you dont have life experience with it, and even if you do, its always good to research. talk to other people with the life experience you're writing about. have them read your writing and listen to their feedback. have your writing proofread by LOTS of people if you can! have confidence in yourself and the fact that you care about writing an inspiring series with the right messages, but dont default to "im right", simply know that if you're willing to learn and change, your writing will NEVER be like tui sutherland's.

i very much suggest you check out my friend jasmine's analysis video on Wings of Fire because she goes more into the harmful tropes that are found in not only WOF but fantasy books as a whole, and she talks about ways to avoid these and reflect on yourself if you have.

now, about your second question.

in an ideal world, i think it would be the best if tui sutherland pulled wings of fire from anywhere its being sold and publicly held herself accountable for the actively dangerous things she's written to children, donate her money to the people whos trauma shes profited off of, and fucking never write again. she needs some serious recovery to realize the aggregious worldviews that she seems to deem as inherent and good.

realistically, though? she's a big time author published by scholastic. someday i hope to write to scholastic about her, but i hardly have the fucking spoons to focus on my own life right now. the best news right now is that the netflix show was cancelled, though im not sure why. my goal right now then? would be indeed what you said, to make people understand the mistakes that tui has made so that they aren't made again. do you really think that its simply pointless to understand these flaws? we can and MUST learn from her mistakes so kids can read books written by people who understand whats important and how to explain these things to a young audience. dont just give up because lots of huge authors are bigots, because capitalism favors bigotry. write your story! im sure that if you put even an ounce of geniune care and effort into it, it will be unbelievably better than tui sutherland's work.

[toskarin]

(long, very sorry!)

i finished the fate route!!!! i couldnt finish it friday and i couldnt play saturday, so i took longer than i would have preferred;;; i think i have strong feelings abt it? this may be a situation where in two and a half hours i send another ask saying "i was stupid this is what i really think"

i think that, for one, what i Wanted is like, a happy ending where saber and tohsaka and emiya and everybody all live together happy endings yknow - but i think, while i dont know abt the other two routes, that Doesnt Fit This One! i think the emphasis on how arturias end goal isnt morally bad wouldnt have hit as well / at all if it ended with her happily living with shirou

as well: EMIYA IS,,,, WAYYYYY BETTER. in the beginning i was actually DREADING having to play 60 hours or whatever of this guy but he is way better way fast, and i actively liked him by the ending

arturia is really well written too!!!! my like,,, big fear is that. maybe some of the characterization she got in this route will be tossed aside in the others where she is not the only focus? i really hope thats not the case but im a bit worried

illya, tohsaka, and sakura the most didnt get very much, and it was kind of deadly for sakura. again this might be a situation where the only solution is to finish the game, but sakura at the moment comes off as mildly annoying at best and im just waiting for her to get more

gilgamesh ruled, fantastic villain! this is me cheating a little bit using knowledge i had previously, But. im relatively confident that archer will get more to do in the tohsaka route, ofc, and in the sakura route like. i dont know how to describe it, but i think she basically goes insane and kills people? like i think shes a tornado im honestly not sure

part of me wishes that they stuck to the horror side that we saw with the coffins near the end? i want more of that Tone, and you said a while ago that like. each route Felt Like Another Game, so part of me is hoping that i get that in blade works or heavens feel (im not sure which is first)

to be more succinct: i really liked the ending, and i think they did a really good job of making me like shirou and arturia, who are ofc the most important people to like in this route. my biggest fear is that it wont give arturia as much to do in the tohsaka route, and i really hope we get huge tone changes as well - more of the scary bits!

im gonna go through the bad ends now - i dont think there will be TOO much super interesting stuff, but i thought the few tiger dojos were cute and i love fujimura so

ty for posting abt this game often enough i played it!!! its a huge fucking blast - sorry for sending such a long ask, again!

first and foremost, MAJOR congratulations! having finished Fate route, you've officially had An Experience that you literally can't currently have any other way (not even in a pretentious vn fan way, but in the sense that the deen adaptation makes a lot up and mixes in other routes, so the full vn story is literally only possible to experience this way!)

the framing of the final scabbard scene is one of those things that's like, absolutely a "you've gotta see it to believe it"

anyway I'll keep my reply brief because I'm gonna reassure you a lot at once and don't wanna spoil anything too specific, but the next few routes absolutely play off the characterization you've seen so far and use it to allow the main cast to develop faster, and then deeper as they progress into further exploration. so while not quite a sequel, expect Saber, Shirou, Rin, et al to experience growth moments sooner to the point where each following route feels like a sequel more than a reversion to zero

also, rest assured that horror is on its way. nasu just likes to tease the full scope of how bad things are in early routes

so glad you get to enjoy it (relatively, given how impossible a true blind read is haha) with fresh eyes! enjoy UBW when you get around to it; it's raw shounen glory, and honestly holds up so well it could've been written today

also, food for thought, notice that shirou's role in the story is actually best described as "heroine" and would traditionally be filled by a female character. just a neat little subversion that's half a product of fate originally being an otome on first draft and half a product of nasu's genuine interest in playing with themes of gender

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (90)- First pages ONLY.

I skimmed thro ch-89 to know the context of ch-90. it was Cinderella’s play. In this chapter, Kyo says early on, that time has passed since the play & that they are NOW starting their third year in high school. cool.

This part will ONLY focus on the 1st few pages of ch 90 abt (kyo & tohru) & stop before kyo’s memories starts, because the early pages contain:

Tons of new unexplored analysis of (kyo & tohru) characters that unfortunately was intentionally cut & worse! “changed” in the anime.

No space to add kyoko’s story in this post.

Kyoko’s story is full psychologically & socially.. I need to take a deeeeeeep breath before I unpack it. very deeeeep breath!

-Glimpses of Tohru (the silent grieving girl) Subtle Writing of Grief:

Right from the beginning, I hate how much insight into tohru’s grief & weakness as a human being is already there in the first few pages of ch-90 than the entire 3 seasons of the anime! From few pages we have:

Tohru’s seemingly delighted watching a video. Subtly, showcasing tohru’s grieve & paving the path for tohru’s trauma exploration later in the story. Grief is not sth you quickly past, that’s the most tragic misunderstanding of grief. Time will pass, so, you’ll be better & healthier. Really?!. Tohru’s inner desire to see her mom alive manifested in her words: “ like a photo comes to life” T_T.

The story/writing/manga is acknowledging tohru’s heartbreaking & NOT cute habit of talking to her mom’s cold dead photo! In the anime, tohru talks to her a lot in se01 & it’s up to you to see as as “ cute” as all the canon characters do or actually feeling it IS wrong. Kyo’s  “ what would she do if there were a video of her mom”! “ drives the point more abt tohru being a sad grieving human~not the “advice-giving, optimistic angel, & rain-stopping sunshine in the anime.

Tohru telling kyo to NOT catch cold connecting it to se01, ep 9 (haru’s ep) when tohru was afraid that yuki might catch cold & kyo noticed that! so now in se03, they’re dropping this plot altogether within the main anime, for what? we dont even know if this part would be included in whatever “ kyoko’s” spinoff content would be. -_-’.

That’s how you write subtle trauma such as (grief) for a main (female) MC. subtlety is the key. Respect the viewers intelligence & do it.

You don’t have to give her the long speeches or the many focused ep that yuki had. he’s the kind who confront himself inwardly constantly.

You don’t have to showcase drama, confrontation & force the emotions out like you did with kyo. he runs from his trauma & punishes himself.

Tohru buries her feelings! she’s different from both kyo & yuki. So, with her subtle & symbolic scenes are enough!!!The viewers will catch it if you show it, but ignoring it, cutting it & hoping the viewers will magically predict what you cut, is weird. But the anime isn’t even into us predicting nor subtly showing her cuz this tohru is NOT the tohru we have in the anime. How?

Simply cuz there is no kyo’s inner thoughts abt small things such as tohru’s photo obsession which subtly shows her grief & trauma. If kyo didn’t monologue abt her, tohru does not exist as she’s meant to be. You loose the subtle insights into tohru if you cut kyo’s inner thoughts. Not everything kyo thinks abt in regards to tohru is romance!!! That’s a very narrow & superficial look into the writing of kyo/’tohru dynamics. Flip the pages, hmm..cut this kyoru scene here & there cuz we dont want the anime to be only their love story.. But the story itself IS NOT only their love story at all. These pages/scenes here are abt tohru as a PERSON. Not tohru the lover...

- Writing Clashes between manga & anime: (Kyo’s Conscious Gradual Psychological Exploration vs Shock Value & Drama)

In ch 90 i really love all the inner self talking that kyo’s doing. It really explains why he ended up rejecting tohru so strongly. Also, going for a trip into kyo’s mind is hella exciting, new, refreshing & full of analysis-worthy exploration! Kyo’s inner psychological argument with himself is a psychologically-informed presentation of a tried guilty mind:

“ Why can’t I stop thinking of (kyoko’s words) lately? Acknowledging that he IS remembering kyoko & never forgot her. This is also supported in the anime itself. When he apologized to a sleeping tohru in se01, ep14 & se02, ep9 , confronting yuki in the stairs & other instances as well. 

“ It’s like a lid been opened & all the memories came pouring”. Acknowledging that kyo DID open his lid since se02, ep9 byt chose to run & not confront it due to his guilt of ruining tohru’s happiness by confessing his connection to her mom. 

“ pretending I didn’t know, pretending I forgot”. Here is a blatant clash in kyo’s writing (1) between the anime & manga (2) between the anime’s episodes themselves!!. In the manga, again kyo chose to ignore & pretended to forget. Death is NOT sth you forgot. Kyo saw kyoko bleeding & dying.  The anime chose to make him totally forget & it could’ve worked if they didn’t included all the canon moments of him actually remembering & pretending to forget. Is that lazy writing? or was the director for se03 different from se 1 &2 &? chose to NOT watch the two previous seasons? Why would you consciously include a contradicting depiction of your character on screen for thousands of confused viewers? Was the scene of kyo’s shocked gave upon seeing kyoko’s photo that artistically appealing that you forgot everything? I really have NO problem of kyo forgetting kyoko if that was written in the anime since se01, but it wasn't. that's why it sucks. 

“Is this payback? maybe I want to blame ME?” augh! i love this line so much! Directly hinting to the viewers that this is kyo’s one-sided guilt before his story with kyoko even started! subtly paving the path for the reason of his rejection of tohru” I dont want forgiveness. I want to blame ME.

-I don’t mind that the anime left kyo’s thoughts of kyoko until the climax in eo8, cuz ep 8 was SO well-done! Se03, ep 8 pacing was very suitable to (1) uncovering dark secrets & death, trauma, & guilt. (2)  for exploring the effects such secrets on kyo’s character, decisions, mentality. Also, the animation of kyo’s face all ep 8 was one of the most expressive facial expressions the anime has ever delivered! The eyebrows, eyes, mouth, tears, body languages, heartache was all 100% perfect. The fact that the following eps didnt have much time to express everything & chapters were cramped is not ep 8′s fault but the decision to have 13 eps. Kyo’s delayed trauma deserved to have its own ep.

-What I DO mind is the added scene of ep 6 where he freaked out upon seeing kyoko’s picture, the concept of shock is perfect & so suitable for an anime but was NEVER properly written into the anime itself from the beginning. On the contrary, the anime itself contradict such usage of such value. Good job ruining an otherwise perfect-depiction of two traumatized characters (kyo & tohru) with ONE scene.. -_-

Side Notes:

I thought tohru is narrating the 1st page in ch-90, turned it out it is kyo!!!! Kyo narrates sth? Kyo monologues? kyo has a POV? Just the setting of kyo doing that feels different! I duno if it cuz when that happens in the anime it’s always clash & drama! lol, or cuz it’s sth original!

Shigure’s “ it’s broadcasted all over the nation” is epic! XD! you know poor stupid kyo would fall for that! XD. kyo, you really are an idiot! XD... man this scene would’ve been epic comedy~ lol.

Tohru not knowing what a “dvd” is is outdated for the anime, but to still keep the sentiment of “her wishing she’d have a video footage of her mom”, they could’ve replaced her words with “ It’d be fun watching this play years from now & remembering all the details”. I know that to some, it feels weird that tohru doesn't have video footage of her mom in this era. but trust me, this is more common than you might think. My late brother, who’s way younger than me, doesn't have much video footage, he always felt awkward & preferred not to be filmed. We got photos for him tho~

Even if you want kyo’s knowledge of kyoko to be in the climax only. You can always include this scene of tohru & kyo in the first pages in the anime somehow. It doesn't even need to be abt the dvd even tho that’s manageable. Cutting this short scene of them talking abt videos, & catching cold is cutting tohru’s trauma from its core. Then, the old grandpa’s narration from se03, ep6 would at least have some backup in the anime’s canon.

Momiji & shigure are perfect as a comedic duo!

I can’t get over tohru’s art~ <3

Pinning kyo at the beginning is epic~ kyo always gets the BEST romantic lines when he talks to himself. “ burning (tohru’s ) memories into my head or forgetting everything”. The torturing fire inside him is only distinguished by loving her but is also ignited by loving her~ what’s the solution~

[benwllbond]

If you are still taking Robin/Julian prompts, can I please get some fluff with the two of them teaming up to play online chess and talking smack about their opponent?

i hope u enjoy this!! sorry its taken a little while for me to get done, i hope its kind of what u had in mind?? trying to write dialogue for julian is very difficult but i hope its okay!! if anyone has any more robin/julian prompts feel free to send them to me :)

i don't believe this has any spoilers for s3, but if u r super worried, this is written through the lens of having seen season 3, so there may be subtleties or something but i dont think so?

---

Chess had been Julian and Robin’s “thing” for as long as Julian had been at Button House, give or take a few days. They would spend hours sitting at the chess board, initially attempting to teach Robin the basics of the game, and then later trying to keep in their minds the placements of all the pieces as they played.

The board that had sat for years, when Heather owned the house, untouched and gathering dust, had been a host for years of memories, chronicling so many of the major points in what was shared between them, from the very beginning, when Julian had died and Robin had first elected to take part in the game, to now, with Alison and Mike in the house, shaking up their routines completely. It seemed to Julian that all of the most important moments in his death could somehow be linked back to that chessboard.

As such, it made sense that the both of them were resistant to change. The idea seemed sacreligious, almost, and although that would usually push Julian in favour of something, this all felt entirely wrong to him. Alison’s offer to let them leave the table where Julian had first learnt of his ability, the pieces Robin had learnt to play with, although tempting, had initially seemed too much.

Vaguely surprisingly, it was Robin who came around first; possibly it was the man’s familiarity with change - nothing much was left the same over the thousands of years he had lived on the land of Button House - or maybe it was just the intrigue offered by the prospect of the online medium, but after a brief consideration, he was more than willing to give Alison’s suggestion a try - and to pester Julian about it.

“We make good team,” he explained one evening, as they sat in one of the sitting rooms, enjoying the ambiance of the fire, “And we can both win game then!”

Julian did have to concede that he had a point there, but despite how much he enjoyed utilising Alison’s new technologies, he couldn’t quite find himself willing to let go of their little chess board, no matter how ridiculously sappy and pathetic it sounded. The temptation to try this online chess game was strong, but Julian couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

“You just want to make all this extra work for me, don’t you,” he whinged, “Of course you’d go along with it, it's nothing to you!”

He didn’t even have to look to see Robin’s eyeroll.

“You as whiny as Thomas.”

Julian screwed his face up at the idea, before dramatically falling onto Robin, spreading himself out across the couch, his head in the caveman’s lap.

“I guess I can possibly consider doing this,” he groaned dramatically, and Robin couldn’t help but shake his head - he really was becoming far too much like the poet.

Nevertheless, however, he smiled down at Julian, who still had a ridiculously put out expression on his face.

“Love you.”

--

Julian didn’t like admitting he was wrong, but despite the awful cramps he was getting in his hand, if he were being honest, this was awfully fun.

He was still unsure if it was as good as playing against Robin, trying to keep up with where all the pieces had been moved, but it certainly had proven to be fun, so far at least, to play with him instead. It was nice to shake things up a bit, he figured, after 30 odd years of almost daily games, something new was nice.

“Take his prawn!” Robin exclaimed from next to him, animatedly pointing at the screen.

Obligingly, Julian agreed, wincing as he clicked the touchscreen to move the piece. “This is the last game for today, okay? This is hard work for me!”

“You not know hard work if it right in front of you,” Robin muttered, unhappy at the thought of losing his new favourite hobby for the rest of the day.

Before Julian had even had the chance to respond indignantly to that comment, Robin interjected,

“Dickhead!”

When Julian returned his focus to the screen, he saw that their opponent had taken their queen. Yeah, dickhead sounded about right.

The pair spent a moment in silence, staring analytically at the screen, contemplating their next move, calculating their next step. As the timer on the side of their screen continued to count down, Julian’s eyes widened in realisation and he began attempting to click the screen. When he saw what Julian was trying to do, Robin let out a pre-emptive celebratory cheer.

“Checkmate! We win!”

And sure enough, after a couple of attempts where his hand passed through the screen, when Julian managed to move the piece, the screen lit up with the message that they’d won.

“Aha! I told you, not just a handsome face!”

Robin rolled his eyes, but nonetheless, raised his hand, grinning, and Julian high fived him, somewhat reluctantly, because he knew what was going to happen next - the caveman was, if nothing else, predictable.

“We play again?” He asked, looking hopefully at Julian and he grimaced, both from the pain because his hands really were cramping really quite badly, and because he knew, as much as he prided himself in his ability to act in his own self interest, that he wouldn’t be able to say no to Robin.

“Genuinely though, one more game. That’s it, or you have to make Alison come and press all these buttons for you because my hands can not take any more of this! I am a respected politician, and will not stand for being treated like your slave, pressing all these buttons for you… I guess that is the burden of being the most skilled…”

Robin let Julian’s ranting and raving blend into the background for a moment, before deciding he had most definitely had enough - jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow proved to be a good enough solution to that problem.

Before Julian could start on a whole new tangent about his deserved respect, Robin gestured to the screen, reminding him of what was actually important.

“Game on!”

[actualbird]

I hope you're doing well! As always, seeing a notification in my email that you posted another fic is just *chef's kiss*.

The newest story with Luke and Marius is simply - I could just post a bunch of emojis that would probably convey the meaning better but the fact that I read it three times should be another good indicator of how fucking brilliant anything you write is.

Which sorta brings me to my next point and it's something I wanted to ask you for a little while now. How do you just post things? I know it sounds stupid but I would love to be able to post fics, random posts but I just can't. I can't even write it just for myself. And I know that you can post anonymously and no one will know who you are but I still can't do it. I just get paralysed with fear. Not even talking about posting, just creating in general. I am just terrified of judgment and I have no idea what to do. Do you ever feel like this? How do you overcome yourself? Do you have any advice?

Just a desperate Hibiscus anon, who wants to post so so much but is a "little" afraid ♥️🌺♥️

heyyo hibiscus!!! glad to hear from you again and i hope youre doing well too :DDD

and waAAHHH, thank u for reading "beautiful like a forest fire (admire from a distance, don’t get too close)" 🥺 u read it three times??? i think u read it more than i read it when i was proofreading omg. thank u so so much for the kind words <3!!!

as for ur questions, it's not stupid at all. it's a really really valid and pervasive fear and yeah, i still do struggle with this. hell, i feel it like, every other day

tho how i get over it is.....dkjbfkdjgksd in the manner of how i do almost everything in my life, i take it apart and analyse it. and through this dissection, this is how i can get possible solutions

disclaimer that this is what works for My Brain. it might not work for yours, but maybe you can get something from my process that does work for your brain

so yea. in my brain it all starts with the core fear of judgement, right? well, i dont like how judgement is such a broad word. like, judgement is when people come to conclusions based off of info given and the nature of humans is that they can come to a wrong or even hurtful conclusion about info, which, in this case, is fanwork. but i want specificity. if judgement is about hurtful conclusions, what are those conclusions i dont want ppl to come to?

what exactly am i afraid of getting judged for?

the following is not an exhaustive list, but just off the top of my head some specific fears i get in fandom

whenever i post fanfic, my fear is that i'll get judged for it not being written well, for it not being a good story.

whenever i post headcanons or silly memes or drawings or whatever 24/7 nonstop, my fear is that i'll get judged to be an annoying motherfucker.

whenever i post niche weird strange content that doesnt mesh with what the rest of the fandom is doing, my fear is that i'll get judged for not making the correct and expected type of fanwork, that people will think im doing this wrong

personally, when i dug into all of these deeper and found the specific judgement im afraid of, it gets easier to parse through. first one on that bullet point is about not being good enough. second is about being too much. third is about I'm Not Doing This Right, I'm Going To Get A Bad Grade In Fandom.

so with those specifics, i shoot em down.

fanfic not good enough? fuckin hell, im not writing this shit to win a pulitzer, im here to have fun! and someone out there will think it is a good story, even if i dont

im annoying? abso-fuckin-lutely i am! and people who dont like that can just block my username but a lot of people do enjoy that i never shut up and i enjoy it too.

not the correct fanwork? anxiety-brain, show me the rules for fandom concepts. oh, there are no rules? then nothing is correct or incorrect, UNCLENCH! and no matter how niche the thing is, it'll somehow connect with somebody else because humans are neat like that and nobody is the only person into that thing

the whole specificity thing is a little bit more of a thought exercise thats not just helpful for fears of putting creations out into the world, but for a lot of things. specificity, personally, helps me figure out solutions.

but in general for judgements, i figure it can be summarized with:

one way or another, everybody is going to judge you and/or your work. but for every person who judges you wrongly, there will also be another who judges you with admiration.

fandom is already judged as strange from the outside by people who arent in these kinds of communities. in my mind, im like "well, might as well go with the flow then!" and i own it

create unapologetically cuz life feels a loooot better when a person stops being sorry for something they shouldnt be sorry about

sdkjfkHBJDFS I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE OMG

and i hope this can help in some way

[liesoverthec]

Hey !! So I hope my previous ask didn’t come off as me saying I think buddie would turn out corny because they are a mlm ship, because that definitely isnt the case (although I totally understand the gender roll thing in lgbt relationships and how that makes couples come off) ! And agree with you that bathena, maddie/chim and henren are all beautifully written couples and that the writers do a great job with them. I think more of my concern with buddie is the proximity with which they interact with each other at work and how it might change if they become canon. For example, bathena and maddie/chims jobs overlap, but they don’t work with each other which allows them space to have their own stories, I guess. And we get scenes where they develop the relationship at work (like the ep last season where athena went into the building to save bobby, or the dispatch hostage episode). But because they have separate jobs its not all the time, so the characters are allowed to grow in the relationship but also outside of it. But eddie and buck are very well established as partners and I just worry that there would be blurred lines between work life and home life and given the fact that theres not really a strong comparable on 911 (closest would be bathena) and my distrust in network tv in general I guess that just makes me a little wary? And then I also think the way the other couples were clearly developed as romantic while buddie’s development so far has been more platonic/familial (once again imo - completely understand if ppl view their development differently) that it makes it hard for me to see how they would write buddie as a couple because I personally feel like writers haven’t written “romantically” for them yet, so I dont know what their romantic take on buddie would be. but on the other hand if they canon and their interactions remain mostly the same as they are now then thats great! I just personally cant picture it well (also like you said, maybe fanfic has a role in that too haha)

Hi anon, sorry I held onto to this for a little bit! (For anyone curious, the first ask is here)

Okay so I'm gonna start with your second concern first - bc actually you're wrong! Of the couples, only Henren was really MEANT to be together. Originally Eddie and Maddie were going to be a couple, so Madney was a shift, and Bathena was DEFINITELY not meant to be together (idk if you remember but they took a swing at Bobby/Abby first even). Going back to my relationship data, Bobby and Athena only had 12 interactions together in the entire first season (aka only 12 of 314 interactions total, so only 3.82% of the entire season had them together. Only 4 of those interactions were the two of them alone, and all 4 of them came from eps 9 and 10 so only 1.27% of the entire season was the two of them together). Plus Peter Krause has mentioned before that he didn't know he'd be married to Angela on show when they started. So when you say Bathena was developed to be romantic (as opposed to Buddie in particular), you're dead wrong! The romance actually came AFTER they got together. Which goes to show that they're capable of pulling a loving, convincing relationship out of a hat on a dime just because. So your worry there is totally actually based on completely wrong evidence.

As for your other point regarding their jobs, here's the thing. The incredibly simple solution to your worry about them blurring the lines between work and home is them having stories with people other than each other. And honestly - they're doing that already, particularly with Buck. Buck already spends copious amounts of time with his sister and Chim, and has stories related directly to his relationships with them, and not his relationship with Eddie. So they can just ... keep doing that. And Eddie has plenty of openings for the same thing (since I'm assuming you're worried that his stories with Christopher would be absorbed into Buck's) - he has two younger sisters, if he and Buck got together there's PLENTY of room for a story with his parents, hell it doesn't even have to be bc he's dating a man that he has issues with his parents, he could talk to Hen about queer identity, he could have an Army buddy come to town, it's all there. I can think of a million things they could write for both Buck and Eddie that have nothing to do with each other, and some of them are really, REALLY compelling - so I'm not really sure why you think the writers wouldn't be open to exploring those. They developed David as his own person w his own character outside of who he was with Michael, and he wasn't even a main! David was absolutely the side piece, in terms of the show. So I'm not really sure why you think the writers would do that for David and just ... not extend the same courtesy to Buck and Eddie, whom are infinitely more important to the writers as individuals than David.

Also - the thing is, most of the Buddie scenes where they're at work, aren't Buddie scenes. Things like Buck mentioning the telenovelas Eddie watches this week isn't actually a Buddie scene, they're talking about Toni and Clive and Hen, and they just happen to connect to one another during that. Which is a thing that happens between ALL the characters on this show all the time. So your worry that their work lives will always be about each other is something you're probably just viewing completely through a Buddie lens. They can have stories outside of work together, and still be together at work, and things they do that WE think are solely about their relationship won't really be. And it's okay that we see that, but it's also important to acknowledge that at moment, they're just two participants in a conversation about someone else's life. Not everything will be about them, bc rn now not everything they do is.

So I really think all your worries are unfounded, and I reiterate my statement that it's important to get to see them together BEFORE the finale, bc I know they're going to be treated right!

[saksukei]

wen junhui college au

other college aus; wonu minghao mingyu

you're damn right if you think that wen junhui is a theatre arts major because he iS and that too with humanistic studies as a minor aH and he's also on the rowing team,,, he started rowing as a joke and now he has one of the best times??? like. how.

and everybody knows he has too much energy and he uses it in the best way possible

like the plays? dude has a separate fanclub

you keep on seeing new tweets about “who’s the black haired guy in the play?” like wen junhui’s popularity is straight up no joke,, EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM

you on the other hand are an exercise physiology major with nutrition as a minor and you're also part of the rowing team,, and you have the best time for the women’s team,, which means,, you see junhui every other day,,

the coach pairs you guys often,, but there’s only one small issue,,,

YOU HATE WEN JUNHUI

he's such a pain in the ass,, he teases you every time he sees you,,, he always challenges your skills and makes you doubt yourself,, oh the amount of times you’ve wanted to deck him in the face,,

and today was the same as well

“you're not dead yet?” you hissed, as you saw jun approach you,,

“dont sound so disappointed, I might think you don't like me,” he retorted, a smug expression on his face, as he set his bag right beside yours.

“but I really don't like you,” you roll your eyes,,

jun chuckled, as he clapped his hands together, getting everyone's attention.

you guys were practicing indoors, on the rowing machine because there was some trouble with the equipment and the coach had to go get new stuff

which also meant he left jun in charge,, the teams assembled,, looking at junhui for directions,,

“alright everyone, warm up for ten and then start with a thousand metres,” he instructed. “and y/n, you're my partner.”

you rolled your eyes while everyone was whistling or smirking

it was no secret that you and jun didn't get along and he purposely tried to get on your nerves,,, heck everyone in the club said you two would fall in love at one point or another but you assured them by saying you'd rather choke

“your IQ is lower than room temperature junhui if you think that I want to train with you,” you hissed, as the two of you walked towards the machine.

“oh I'm sorry, I don't compare my intelligence quotient to someone who was deprived of oxygen when they were born,” he snapped, as he started warming up.

“you know what,” you spoke. “i'll just aggressively ignore your existence until you disappear.”

“maybe you should try doing it with that bird hair of yours, looks like worms will crawl out of it soon”

“why don't you look at your face first– ass clown?”

“why don't you look at your face first ass clown” he mimicked in a high pitched tone and all you wanted was to stab him there and then

“CAN YOU TWO SHUT UP WE'RE TRYING TO PRACTICE?” one of the team members yelled, causing you two to fall silent and warm up.

the next day,,, one of your best friends had begged you to go to her department because she had misplaced one of her things,, you only agreed on the basis that you'd be getting pizza

you were passing by the theatre to the class she told you to go to,, and you heard someone rehearsing their lines,, you went ahead to see who it was,,

of course it was jun with a script in his hands,,

and you don't know what it was,, but something just pulled you into the room,, maybe it was the way his words echoed of the walls,, the emotion in those alluring eyes of his,,

you actually sat down and listened to him instead of wanting to kill him,,, understanding what the hype was around him,,

like? you didn't even know this side of junhui existed??? excuse me? he was the biggest dick alive to you so you never really paid attention to anything nice that he did but this,,

you didn't even realize he had stopped until someone snapped you out of it

and you saw jun standing right in front of you

“well well well, it looks like I have a fan,” he smirked, folding his arms as he bent down to your level

“h-heck no,, I was just,,, looking for the um.....” you cursed your memory internally for forgetting.

“umm?” he teased,,

“shut up, I really was looking for something,” you snapped

“alright, alright” he surrenders,, raising his hands in defeat. “how was it though?” he asked.

“what?”

“the lines,, i'm sure you heard some of it.”

“they were um,,, good,” you reply,, shyly,, you've never been used to giving him compliments,,

jun nods as an awkward silence befalls the both of you,, you take it as a que to leave,, but then his voice stops you,,

“hey,, why don't you rehearse with me?” he suggested. “my actual partner is really busy and I need someone to rehearse with.”

“uh,, yeah sure?” you reply,,, as he hands you the script,,

jun started reciting his lines and you responded with the same enthusiasm

but the only thing that worried you was the last,, scene

in the script, it was written that jun's chracter would walk over to where you were, push your character against the wall and would try to initiate a kiss but your character would push him away

and so jun recited his last line, “i don't think I've ever tasted lips so fine, heck i'd taste them over and over again” he walked towards you, eventually pushing you against the wall

and your hEART WAS LIKE BADUMP!!

and his face was an inch from away from yours and you could feel his breath tickling your ear and you realized,,, how pretty wen junhui was,, how perfectly sculptured his face was,, those lips,, those cheekbones?? wait what??

and you were so mesmerized with how he acted on stage you didn't really realize you had to play a part as well

jun broke his stance, “you know you're supposed to push me away right?”

AND YOU BECAME RED

“y-yeah uh–but I–um remembered that I left the stove on!” you lied. “aND I DID SO BYE JUN!” you grabbed your bag and yEETED YOURSELF OUT OF THERE

and jun was confused but he ignored it and started rehearsing again

you on the other hand were trying to calm yourself like ???? It's just wen junhui? what the FUCK? Why is your heart racing so fast?? you were so confused? wHY? why is this happening

and the next time you saw him at training, oh dear god

“well if it isn't miss sunshine,” jun grinned.

“shut up jun, your existence makes me want to die,” you muttered,,, you felt your cheeks getting warm,,

“well, great, I think I'd be doing the world a favor.”

“jun if you're going to bother me one more time during practice I'm going to kick you so hard you will lose the ability to entertain a partner” you hissed, as you started warming up.

“nah,, you don't have the balls to do it,” he grinned, especially proud of the pun he used.

“you know what,,, I don't give a damn, so just leave me alone.”

“you give so many damns, they're visible from space,,,” he says,, his face is close to yours,, and you stop BREATHING

jun grins,, he thinks he has rendered you speechless,, as he goes up ahead to train with the boys,,

aND YOU FELT YOUR HEART WAS GOING TO JUST POP OUT OF YOUR CHEST

and now you were noticing all of these little things about him,, from his silly smile, to how he rolls his eyes, copies every small thing someone else does, to his goofy jokes, how his hair falls on his face, or just,,, him in general

all the while trying to keep your angry/annoyed facade so that he wouldn't pick up on it

but oh boy, it's wen junhui

and he notices every goddamn thing

including how much you've been staring at him especially in today's training session

he knew you were acting really weird since the rehearsal thingy but he was letting it slide because he thought you were upset or something and he didn't want to get on your nerves more

regardless, you decided to ignore jun from today onwards,, to stop feeling whatever you were feeling,,

and every thing was going great

you barely talked to him in rowing practice, you didn't attend the plays or even go anywhere near him

and jun,,,, he stopped annoying you as well

for two months

the whole damn university noticed but nobody dared to say anything ,,,,, in fear that you guys won't talk again

you were casually walking to the cafeteria and you heard something that just ,,,,, made your heart stop

“did you hear that jun got injured really badly? He was practicing in the theatre and this glass fell on his foot,,”

aND YOU DID A FULL 180 AND RAN AS FAST AS YOU COULD TO WHERE HE WAS

you had no idea why you suddenly cared so much like sure yeah, it was bad he got hurt but you were running so fast you felt your heart would pop out of your chest

the nurse eventually led you to where he was

and you saw his leg covered in bandages???

and your heart just broke

“hey what are you doing here?” jun asked. “i haven't seen you in like,,, two months?”

“jun I'm sorry–” you felt tears slide down your face. “i'm sorry I ignored you every time you tried to make a conversation with me or whatever I just,,, I had all these feelings that I couldn't figure out and I got scared–”

“hey hey hey, it's okay,” he cooed, as he opened his arms wide, only for them to wrap around you, as you cried in his chest. “no harm done, I promise.”

“no but jun– I was really inconsiderate and I just kept on feeling like I was missing something but I couldn't figure out what it was,” you cried out. “i felt ignoring you would be a solution but I just, I don't know?”

“hey, okay listen to me– what happened in these past two months happened–” he wiped the tears from your face. “but I hope you understand that the only reason I used to bother you a lot was because,, well,,, I really geniunely like you.”

“l-like me?” you stuttered.

“why do you think I annoy the crap out of you?”

“because you're an idiot, you like doing stuff like this,” you answered.

“but you're the only one I annoy?”

“okay that part I missed,” you give him a weak smile,, jun chuckles,, ruffling your hair,,

“in all seriousness though, I hated these two months. I felt like you were upset or something and I didn't want to risk hurting you even more so I stopped talking altogether because I thought you'd talk to me if I did,,” he admitted.

“its my fault this happened in the first place,” you responded. “and I now realize how stupid I am.”

“you're not stupid, you're just an ass clown,” he joked, a playful smile on his face.

“but i'm still sorry, junhui,” you sighed. “i really didn't want this to happen.”

“hey, it's okay– we both were right in our own places.”

“so um now what do we do?” you asked.

“well it depends,” he answered. “does someone want a cute, charming, handsome and brilliant boyfriend?” he grinned.

“only if he wants an amazing, beautiful, smart and talented girlfriend,” you answered.

“oh he sure as hell does,” jun grinned.